#there are some more minor characters in there but ill post them later due to space

[mournersrp]

here are our basic site rules ! requirements regarding the application process, character creation and registration will be released with our app form and applications information.

Disclaimer

First and foremost, we feel it's important to state upfront that we aim to foster an inclusive and inviting atmosphere. While the staff doesn't wish to get involved in member disputes and expects, for the most part, that an adult site can moderate their own behavior, we will not tolerate discrimination, doxxing, bullying, etc. You will be banned for any of those to keep this environment a safe space for its writers.

Mourners aligns with book canon when regarding both material and timeline, especially where the Six of Crows duology is concerned. Though you are more than welcome to apply if only having the show adaption as a basis, make sure you keep yourself informed with the differences as the roleplay will only operate off novel canon. Consider the roleplay as a third book shadowing the duology in which acts as an AU to some extent, continuing both the crows’ and dregs’ storylines with entirely new chapters curated collectively by both staff and members.

The Basics

Mourners is a 21+ site due to the 3 / 3 / 3 rating for language, sex and violence. Mature themes may be explored in writing so there will be no exceptions to this ruling ─ if any member is found to be under 21, the member will be banned for their safety and ours.

In accordance with that, Mourners is hosted on premium jcink to accommodate these themes. Despite this, the staff expects everything to be appropriately warned for mature content.

─ Applications should have all relevant warnings at the top of the freeform and threads should be content warned in the replies ( with a [cw] in the title ). If mature themes pop up later in the thread that the writers were not expecting, the writer who started the thread should edit the first post and title accordingly.

─ If you are not sure whether to warn for something, it is better to be safe than sorry. Please take into account your thread partners’ triggers should they have them when suggesting a plot or thread as well.

─ Our only limitation is that we do not allow the explicit writing of incest, rape or the sexual abuse of adults or minors. These themes may be mentioned in passing when appropriately and clearly marked with the content warning in your freeform or when the surrounding situation is mentioned or played out but cannot be explicitly written on the board.

The staff expects everyone on the site to treat each other with respect as we do not wish to get involved in personal disputes but will if necessary, so please try to handle conflict privately or avoid interactions with a member that you might not get along with.

─ The only exception to this is would be past or present grievances that may pose a danger or harm to the community ( for instance, discrimination of any kind or known predatory behavior ). In that case, please approach the staff by opening a ticket on our discord chat.

─ We aim to make Mourners a safe space for everyone to express themselves creatively through writing and will do our best to make it that way.

Posting

Mourners prefers a third person, past or present tense form of writing for posts. If members wish to do a more experimental style of writing, we ask that the idea is cleared with all thread partner(s) beforehand.

Please keep in mind the main rule of rpg ─ godmodding is absolutely forbidden. Certain amounts of character navigation and powerplay is permitted with permission. If a thread or plot needs to be retconned for any reason, that will be up to the discretion of the writers but the staff does ask to be informed of any final decisions.

In a similar vein, all plot important ideas such as engagements, marriages, pregnancies, serious illness and death must be cleared by the staff before it is implemented into a thread.

If two or more characters are engaged in a fight thread or anything of the like, please discuss what a reasonable outcome will be judging on the capabilities of the characters in question. Members may also choose to use the dice on our discord to decide an outcome. Godmodding to inflict harm on another character is strictly forbidden.

We have no word count on threads and understand that post length varies depending on the writer, character and situation, though it is common courtesy to maintain the flow of a thread. That being said, there is an imposed word count of 400 words minimum for the freeform section to ensure that we get a better understanding of each character.

For the sake of uniformity as well as what is properly coded into the board, we do require that any threading templates in use be from what we provide in our site templates, as with our templates provided for our shipper and replies.

Timeflow & Activity

Mourners will operate on a ratio of 2:1 ─ two ooc months to one ic month. Site months will go from the 1st to the last day of the following month.

To be considered active, and because this is a semi private site with limited roles, a character must make two posts every two weeks ( fourteen days ) at minimum, where some events will require a stricter activity level at times. Characters who fail to do so will be marked as inactive on the fifteenth day. Inactive characters will then have one week ( seven days ) to make a post or they will be archived ─ once a character is archived, the writer will have to reapply if they wish to return to the site. To reactivate a character, please make a note in the #moderation tab on the discord group chat once you have made a post on that character. If no longer a part of the discord, please message the associated tumblr main.

Mourners may run activity / interest checks from time to time, but we will mostly check activity using the method above. If you are unable to post for any period of time, post an absence in the #absences channel in our discord and your character(s) will be exempted from activity checks for the requested duration. You may not make new characters while on absence.

If you are on absence, you will have a week ( seven days ) to return to normal activity before being marked inactive. Please reach out to the staff if you have difficulty meeting these checks or if your absence is going longer than expected.

If an archived character has less than 30 ic posts, the account will be deleted. Deleted accounts cannot be retrieved. Characters with over 30 ic posts will be moved to our inactive member group with time for you to retrieve freeform information, etc.

If your character was made for a wanted ad or connection to an archived or deleted character, you may choose to re - request said character, npc the character or retcon the details according to your discretion. Please reach out to the staff to clear your ideas before implementing it into site canon.

Discord Rules

Discord is mandatory. It is not a requirement to participate in the chat but discord is where thread tags, announcements and other administration matters are handled so we require all members to join us here !

Our discord is also private, meaning you will only receive access to it if accepted for a character, and will be invited to join via a link from a staff member.

Please do not discuss religion, politics or anything nsfw in the general chat. The general chat is available for members and potential members so we would like to keep this lighthearted.

The #nsfw channel is for content that is too risky for the general chat. Memes, jokes, gifs of your playbys are fair game but please do not post explicit personal content.

As mentioned above, the staff cannot possibly moderate every interaction had by our members as we will rely on everyone to handle matters as adults or avoid the members that they do not get along with. That being said, if someone truly upsets you or a discussion turns nasty in the discord group chat, please tag the staff ( @staff ) to alert us to the matter.

If the staff hear of any bullying, passive aggression, actual aggression or any other form of harassment, we will step in to ensure the safety of the community. If someone has done something to make you feel uncomfortable, we ask that members feel comfortable to reach out to us personally or through opening a ticket.

Please do not use the @everyone tag unless necessary.

#grisha rp #shadow and bone rp #soc rp #site buzz #jcink buzz #mourn.preview #and with the guidelines out skeletons will begin posting tomorrow <3 #the schedule has been altered slightly as both our plot and rules were posted earlier than originally planned #:)

[ravenheartxvi]

So I've had this Tumbler for a while now, long time lurker and rarely posting. Just thought I'd give a little better introduction of myself than what my bio says.

I mostly prefer to keep to myself so excuse my sparse social interactions, haha. You can call me Charlie and I am definitely female. I was born the year Dr. Robert Ballard discovered the remains of the Titanic and for some inexplicable reason, I feel a connection to the “unsinkable” ocean liner. I had a minor obsession with the ship as a teen, and tend to enjoy reading about it, or watching documentaries or youtube videos of it. I am also a lover of Tudor history. 

My main interest here on Tumbler surrounds the Sims and fanfiction. I’ve been an avid simmer since the original Sims came out. I don’t know about anyone else, but for some reason I can get a kind of god complex when I play the sims, lol. I discovered mods during the Sims 3 and have been hooked ever since. My two favorite mods are MC command center and Wicked Whims. I’ve also used the extreme violence mod before and some of the sims storylines I created with these mods are rather, ahem, interesting. I would be willing to share if anyone is interested, just fair warning, these interesting sims stories are NSFW. 

My other love includes fanfiction. I first got involved in 2001 and was introduced in a now defunct Harry Potter site. My earliest fics are now lost. I later became prolific on fanfiction.net and you can still see my works there through the link in my profile. In 2005 I switched from Harry Potter over to Star Wars. For a brief time I had drifted into Gilmore Girls before drifting back to Harry Potter and back to Star Wars where I am currently firmly based. I have grown annoyed with fanfiction.net and decided to switch over to Archive of Our Own where all my current fics are being posted. 

My favorite fic trope is time travel/ time travel fix-its. 

I enjoy a variety of AU’s Such as: Anakin doesn’t fall, Darth Vader/Padme Amidala fics where Anakin was raised as a Sith, Character X doesn’t die, Luke and Leia were raised by at least one of their parents, and a multitude of variations of these tropes. In recent months I’ve gotten into modern au anidala fics, a trope that I’ve avoided for a while. 

My ships include:

Harry Potter/Hermione Granger

Rory Gilmore/Logan Huntzberger

Anakin Skywalker(Darth Vader)/Padme Amidala

Luke Skywalker/Mara Jade

Leia Organa/Han Solo

Ships that give me the willies but I wont judge those who enjoy them:

Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi * Because they literally equate each other as brothers/family and have both said so more than once. 

Anakin Skywalker/Ahsoka Tano * These two have a big brother/little sister dynamic and nothing anyone says can dissuade me. 

Hermione Granger/ anyone who is a Death Eater. * Because, WTF? You know what I’m talking about, don’t lie.

Psychology is an interest of mine and I enjoy incorporating it into my works in recent years. If I could pass math and had the finances, I would pursue a degree in the subject. Mental Illness is a subject that is very important to me and I like to consider myself an advocate for the support of mental illness and fully believe in the benefits of therapy. So I do not, under any circumstances, tolerate the use of words like crazy and all its synonyms as a form of insult. Everyone struggles with something so a little kindness and understanding, compassion, is something we should extend to everyone around us, including those who have wronged us. I am very open with talking about my own struggles, in the hopes that I can help someone else struggling in whatever way I can. Sometimes, it helps to know that you are not alone in your struggles. 

I am not perfect, in any way, but I try to be a decent person with integrity. I make mistakes and often struggle in how to fix those mistakes. Often, I need people to come to me and tell me if I have hurt or offended them due to my own lack of a filter and impulsivity. I am very open to listening to grievances and to finding a way to work through those grievances. However, what I will never do is blast those grievances or work through them in a public forum. I prefer not to stir drama on the internet. It is preferable, IMHO, to work through any issues privately rather than air it all publicly. I have seen a lot of examples when grievances are aired online and it only ever invites people outside the situation to insert themselves into the situation and stir the drama even further. I have no interest in participating in such situations, it is way too stressful. This is why I have distanced myself from facebook. I would much rather save this account for stress relief fun. 

And here, I feel that I should reiterate another point I made in my profile. I very rarely, if ever, check my messages here on tumbler. When I first joined and for quite a while, the only messages I would receive was porn spam. So I found myself avoiding my messages here. I have zero interest in accepting porn spam. No, I will not check out your webcam. No, I am not interested in watching hot women or connecting with hot women. While I appreciate the female form and have had some celebrity girl crushes, I am very interested in men. And no, I am also not interested in unsolicited penis pictures either. Why do I appear to be interested in this shit? 

Back to a fun topic. My love for history, sims, fanfiction and geeky stuff is also accompanied by my love for music. My two favorite genres of music are Rock and Classical. I have a wide variety of music tastes but I can’t stand country music and disco. Ick…lol! I was exposed to a wide variety growing up so of course I love music. I listen to music during a majority of everyday tasks and while I read and write. My music library is absolutely huge! 

If Interested, I have compiled a personal playlist that expresses my life through song. You can check it out here:

#star wars #harry potter #gilmore girls #titanic #the tudors #anidala #harry and hermione #rory and logan #the sims community #fanfiction #introduction

[monstrouslyobsessed]

world leader lion is disgusted that he is attracted to disgusting humans , but this little human made him fall genuinely in love so she they must pay 🔥 —anonymous

tw / tags: gender neutral reader, politics, confinement, dehumanization, abuse, physical abuse+, scarring+, whipping+, injury+, slavery, headcanon, yandere, beastfolks / beastfolk, long post,sfw (beware the mild graphic descriptions behind abuses, there is no smut in this one beyond the implications), unedited + = toward the other human ‘employees’, not the reader featured character(s): the rival / the politician / lion beastfolk —this is part of my beastfolk universe! minors dni. this is not a healthy relationship!

—note: sorry for being vvv late, a beloved family member was having some health issues and i had been dealing with that. def killed my writing for a little while. sighs. when will we have a better year…onto the show!

》lady hyena’s rival for many years, ever since she became the president of the united states of appalachia*. the lion is a brutally frank individual who never believed in any sort of amicable relationship between man and beast.  —sufficient to say, he is as conservative as they comes. —venomously opposes the idea of ever letting any human having even a semblance of freedom. —for what the humans did to them, they deserved to suffer the same fate the beastfolks endured in the past.

*name not final, basically a fictional / alternative version of america. 

》he even balked at the idea of having humans as pets —lets alone as lovers. —in spite of their breeding/perfect genetic compatibilities to ensure near perfect purebred beastfolk child, something that was sorely needed among specific races struggling with their fertility, the lion displayed absolute disgusts at this specific subject. —he would actually have to reel himself in upon seeing and dealing with humans, as human politicians were still somewhat common campaigning for human rights. —to the point that the human lovers (or, “human fuckers” as common term used by the conservatives—and was later reclaimed by the progressives to be worn with pride) were wise not to bring their human mates and the human politicians and any other (ie. interviewers, reporters, etc.) were required to have beastfolk bodyguards on a standby.

》the lion is that intolerable toward the humankind.

》the lion had so much supports for his conservative and separatism ideals that even lady hyena and her vice president, the lioness, would be hard pressed to ignore the lion. —it was rather fortunate that the lion wasn’t named as a member among the world leaders. however, he was still a governor of his province, aiming for higher goals of taking the full reign over the country. if the lady president continues to leave him unchecked, he may claim her title before long. —of course lady hyena and the lioness would amp up their campaigns for human rights, making any win for the lion that much more difficult. they are not foolish to slack, manipulating and swaying public opinions to their sides instead of the lion’s. —the lion would wear a smiling mask, he still had some self control and was rather charming toward those he considered his people, but it was a bit obvious that he was furious with his rivals’ tactics.

》the lion is a tad older, perhaps pushing his 50s, but is healthy and well fit. —he’s considered a handsome catch by many, that many wondered why he never had a mate or children. —something that blotted his reputation a little. he never really gave his backstory in regards of his personal relationships, keeping such things private. —a few theorized that he used to have a family, but had lost them upon being caught by humans and were placed in a zoo. perhaps they were separated. —being separated were fairly common during that era and sadly, so was dying due to being ill kept and underfed in zoos much more poorly run. —whatever the case, the experience turned the lion into a very bitter person and a zealous human hater.

》because of his career, he actually lived a comfortable life—whenever he can afford to relax from his hectic schedule. —aka, he’s rich as fuck and is living in a home too big for him. —outside his home, he’s charismatic toward the beastfolks and in spite of his known public persona, he is even somewhat…neutral toward the humans—well, as neutral as one could get with them looking as if you’re dirt underneath their feet. —inside his home and any private personal space on the other hand… —the lion didn’t believe in hiring the beastfolks as his servants, though he’s rather specific on having one (or several) as his personal chefs and security guards and was adamant that they are not his servants but his employees.  —instead, he had…numerous “pets” he installed in his home as his…“employees”, to to keep his home sparklingly clean. “employees” meaning servants. or, perhaps, slaves. —it did help that he lived in a very isolated area and very few dared to trespass his home with how much security he had patrolling around his properties. —so, the public never learned about him being a hypocrite against his own words about keeping human pets. —not yet, that is, but when is still a long way away. —those who did know, ie the adoption facility, any of his beastfolk employees, etc. are all under NDA and will get sued into oblivion if they split the tea.

》some may think working for him would’ve provided a luxurious paycheck. —…not if you’re a human. —he didn’t need to pay his “human pets” beyond providing the very basics essentials, meaning, they get no pays at all. only foods, some clothes, and a roof over their heads. —the primary issue he faced was, he had to provide a livable environment for them. something he solved by making them to live in his cold cellar. —it’s worse during the winters and he tends to provide only one or two space heaters enough to keep his ‘employees’ alive and little else. it’s blessedly livable when it’s summer though. —he tends to take the ones that looked the most ‘healthy’ and strong enough to handle most labors, looking at humans as if they’re objects to be apprised.

》you’re the newest addition to his roster. —like every other human ‘employee’, he never gave you a second look the moment he decided you looked strong enough. —the ink on your adoption paper barely dried when he assigned you chores in his home, already expecting you to work your hardest. —you hated it here, but there are little else you could do. at least you can move around and stretches your legs and arms outside that cubby-like room in the facility. —it was better than laying around restlessly, waiting for your daily walk, and you were tired of listening to uninspired dialogues from your neighbors and…’whining’ from the caretakers’…’favorites’. —at least here, you can be productive and listen to new things. —unfortunately, things falls into the same mindless routine you suffered from before, with the physical element added in. —your coworkers barely spoke about anything outside labors.

》…it didn’t take long for you to realize why.

》your new owner was…cruel, to put it bluntly. —whenever someone made a grievous mistake such as breaking something he deemed as priceless, well…they would return bleeding from their back and with gorges in their arms and legs and be left to other more sympathetic humans to tends to. —like a slave, the lion whipped his ‘employees’ as punishments. —it didn’t take much to upset him either, especially on his bad days. —his bad days often consisted of his rivals constantly gaining upper hands on him, losing his votes, being stuck in traffic, nothing’s going his way…the list go on. —and there was nothing anyone can do about it. the security patrolling on the lion’s property doesn’t take the escapees too kindly either and they all had the nose for finding them without fail. —so you kept your head down and stayed obedient. you took care not to mess up and to keep well out of the lion’s way.

》time went on and over a year passed in what felt like a blink of an eye. —you were fortunate that your owner never once landed his claws on you. —a shining example of how your carefulness kept you safe from his wrath. —it didn’t last forever though.

》“hey you there,” you got paralyzed at hearing the lion’s lazy drawl. —you weren’t aware that he had been home earlier than usual and was occupying the room you were set to clean. no one warns you and left you at the mercy of the tyrannical bastard. —“i don’t remember you. when did i…adopt,” he twisted his black lips in utter disgust at the word, “you?” —seeing no other way out without inviting his wrath, you obediently answered. —“oh, really. your name, maggot?” his insult pricked your skin but you still answered anyway. —“hm. carry on and make it quick.” he lost interest in you—and you hurried your work to leave his den.

》you thought you lost his interest, but in reality, you aroused his attention. —like a cat he was, he was curious. —and it didn’t help that you smelled like you were in heat*, your scent seductive and spicy. —of course he had a much greater self control than to give in to his instincts. —in fact, he was disgusted with the thought of rutting with you, enough so that he shuddered and scraped his tongue against his sharp teeth from the taste of your human stench. —but he learned something new—that like beastfolks, humans does have heat cycles. —that, was new to him.

*both afab and amab humans do go through heat cycles in their universe, though amab have it much rarer (average is once, twice a year) while afab typically has it during their ovulation (at least 6 times a year, if not with child/ren). reasons behind amab’s being in heat, are not yet fully explained, though it is assumed it is the direct result of their evolution growing up alongside the beastfolks. human amab’s more effective on afab beastfolks, though amab beastfolks are not immune. human heats doesn’t seem to have as much impact on other humans however.

》of course he ignored the fact that he realized he knew so little about humankind than he thought he had. —he didn’t care. humans are garbage to him. —yet he found his eyes wandering to you whenever the rare sight of you emerged in his vision. —observing you. —well after your heat had ended, seemingly without you ever being aware of it.

》from analyzing your healthy body, curves, unique traits that set you apart from all other faceless humans, to your every little quirk you had. every little habit, were oddly endearing him. —he didn’t realize he had been observing you the entire time until he watched you through the window from his upper floor office and snarled when you had a friendly interaction with another human. laughing at something they said. —how dare you to speak to others!? —that was when he realized he was fixated on you. a maggot. a human.

》this won’t do at all. —perhaps he can punish you and keep you inside his personal room(s), after all. leave his marks on your pretty back. —maybe by the time he is done with you, he can kill this disgusting part from himself and move on, throwing you away like trash you are meant to be. —he slammed a screeching halt on his sudden about of illogicality and ripped himself away from the sight of you, forcing himself to work on paperworks. —the lion refused to think about you for several more months. 》unfortunately, that delicious scent of yours returned. —the lion found himself fixating on you again.

—end

#my writiing #headcanons #gender neutral reader #beastfolk #beastfolks #lion x you #lion x reader #reader x lion #you x lion #reader insert #tw: politics #tw: confinement #tw: dehumanization #tw: abuse #tw: physical abuse #yandere #long post #unedited #[i…dk where to go with this so…] #[gomen for the rude ending lol] #sfw

[samdotdocx]

A very long-winded essay about why I love Night in the Woods and The Ramayana makes me Big Mad ft. Lets Talk About Mental Illness™

So I was in this class called 'The Ecology of Language". Excellent class, 10/10 would recommend - and especially relevant in the Indian context in particular, but that's a topic for another day.

One of the things we talked about was the concept of 'relatibality' in media, which, I'm sure we can all agree is a large component of contemporary character or story-line development. Considering the context of modern readers, what that sometimes ends up looking like (in our society that is built on constantly being told we are lacking, and the subsequent need to satisfy manufactured desires), is some wonderfully nuanced characters in stories stories that are three-dimensional, well rounded, and well developed and written. It's pretty great. And sometimes, what that means is that we have excellent characters that don't conform to the standard 'protagonist' stereotype. They might not even be 'good' (this is NOT a villain-apologist post). In fact, they might be complete idiots. They might be the people in stories who make all the wrong choices.

One such relatable character is Mae, and it's because she's an unmitigated train-wreck.

Anyone who knows the game probably knows what I'm talking about when I say the illustration style and character designs are gorgeous. Anyone who's ever dissociated probably knows what I'm talking about when I say that illustration style and character design were excellently used to create the sort of subliminal, surreal state of Mae's mind. And as you play the game, you see how that state of mind plays with the other characters, and - spoiler - it isn't great.

This is the first of the relatable aspects of Mae’s character; there are people around her who love her and are worried about her, but at the same time, are angry and irritated about her behaviour. At what point does it become too much to ask of those around you to forgive all your continuous and repetitive mistakes? Even if you have a good reason for it, mental illness is not an excuse for being exploitative, even if it is unintentional. Mae is not trying to hurt the people around her, but she constantly needs emotional labour from them – it’s exhausting, and people’s patience is going to run out eventually, as is their right.

Another aspect of this behaviour is the lack of reciprocity, an example of this being when Bea’s mother died of cancer – and Mae didn’t even notice.

There are several instances of Mae’s thoughtless behaviour throughout the game; she gets completely wasted and makes a scene at the party, gets jealous of of Greg and Angus because they’re leaving the town without her, and ends up destroying the radiator Bea was supposed to fix, getting her in trouble.

The thing is though, that Mae is given the opportunity to fix her mistakes.

A large part of relatability is the want so see yourself in a character. Mae is relatable to me because there are several circumstances and events in our lives that match up, but more than that; the game is an interactive visualization of her healing process. Her nine steps, if you will. She is given a second chance – and that chance is hard won, particularly in the context of the game.

Mae talks about feeling like she’s falling behind, of knowing that she is, in a way, wasting an opportunity that was a privilege in the first place, especially considering her family’s financial situation – but at the same time, being literally unable to help herself. And the aspects of the gameplay that hint at the supernatural elements of the story possibly being a figment of Mae’s imagination – well. All us depressed losers know what it's like to not be able to trust your own judgement and point of view. She talks about why she dropped out of college, and her description of the dissociation, and the mental and emotional deadening that it causes is spot on and so well represented.

It underscores the point that the logical brain knows that mental illness is an illness like any other – but the emotional brain doesn’t care.

The game does a brilliant job of laying bare the realities of middle class life, and makes painfully clear the fact that, at that level, it doesn’t matter how difficult things are for you. The world isn’t going to wait for you to get back on your feet.

Mae’s mental state and the limitations it imposes on her cultivates a state of extreme frustration. Again, relatable. It’s an understated aspect of illness of any kind; the anger at yourself, and how that anger carries over into a lot of things in your day to day life. After a point, it becomes a habit. Mae does this too; she's belligerent, and instigative, and unrepentant of consequences, because anger blinds you.

It's not how things will always be. I have the privilege of hindsight, so I can say that with authority. But, this isn’t the kind of thing that ever fully leaves you, either. If you break a kneecap, it’s going to bother you for the rest of your life, and similarly, mental illness has a ‘no return, no refund’ policy. So you grow up, and you try to adapt those habits and impulses into a more positive context. Recycling, right? Maybe you set your sights on things that actually deserve your anger, and you go from there. You find people who, for their own reasons, perhaps or perhaps not related to your own, are angry.

And you don’t understand the people who are not.

A large part of the anger and frustration surrounding mental illness is due to the stigma surrounding it. It’s frustrating to be so powerless and dependent, but this is exacerbated by the attitude of ‘it can’t be that bad’, which makes it so difficult to reach out, to be able to say, ‘I need a break’ – and actually get one. This is an attitude that carries over to a lot of other issues as well, and the worst part is – we are surrounded by people who are okay with it, who believe in and support that mentality.

The myth of Sita, for example. She is a strong female figure in Indian mythology, who overcomes her circumstances to live a ‘good’ life, and for all intents and purposes, is a hell of a role model.

But that’s the thing; her life wasn’t good, was it? She was supposed be a goddess reincarnated, she should have been powerful, and respected, but instead she is reduced to ‘wife’ – and everyone today is fine with it.

I respect her immensely for the choices she made; marrying for love was her choice, going into exile with her husband was her choice. She was the paragon of virtue, of 'wifeliness', of kindness – she chose her husband over everyone and everything else, including herself, as was expected of her. But yet – she couldn't win his trust or respect. It should not even have needed to be won.

It’s commendable the way she takes it all in stride, but why did she? She was kidnapped and held captive for years, entirely against her will, and her husband's response to that is to force her to walk through fire to prove her ‘purity’ – and she does it. And she stays with him after, and I cannot understand the depths of her patience and forgiveness, because I would have been livid, and I want her to be so too. I’m furious for her, because Ram was not just her husband, he was also the king, and his later verdict to exile her, alone, while heavily pregnant, his readiness to condemn her based on speculation and public sentiment, was not just a verdict against her, it was against every woman in his kingdom who had ever been victimised.

Sita became a martyr to the modern feminist movement – if she could not be angry on her own behalf, we will do it for her. But at the same time, she is still relatable, because we are held to a slightly lesser degree of the same expectations. There are always going to be aspects of things that you relate to. ‘Big Mood’ culture is a strong indicator of the human ability to empathise, especially with characters that you like, or respect.

Sita’s world, I imagine, was run by the expectations her society and community had of her, and maybe she didn’t even have the liberty to be angry. Who is responsible for portraying her in passive acceptance of her fate? Is that representation reliable? Would the story have been different had it been written by a woman?

I can't remember a time when I was not angry, especially about things like this. I am always ready to fight, and I think the same goes for so many other people today, sometimes to our detriment. I cannot imagine a world where that was not at the very least an option. Not necessarily the best option, - but Sita’s world was very different to ours. Even with centuries between us, we’ve just gotten over angry and depressed women being labelled as ‘hysterical’ and subsequently being locked away. What is it like, to have to be calm and careful in response to being treated like this? This care in response may not be an overt requirement anymore – though the fact remains that society will not take you seriously if you become hysterical - but shouldn't you, at the very least, be able to rely on the support of other people in the same boat?

That is the main difference in these stories, and another main point of relatability to me; Mae, like myself, had a support system. Sita did not. Mae was selfish and demanding in so many ways, and required a lot of time and patience and healing before she was able to give back, but she got there eventually because she was able to put herself first. She fought for herself, and when she couldn’t, she had other people to fight for her. Night in the Woods represents the intersection of oppressed minorities and community with their portrayal of Mae, Greg, and Angus in particular, and the importance of community support – and, the difference between geographical community, and communities formed through camaraderie and actual unity. And so does the Ramayana - except, where was Sita’s community? Where were her sisters, or her parents, when she was abandoned in the woods, and later when she committed suicide? We are well aware, in the modern day, of the state of mind that causes people to kill themselves, and yet that is a part of the story that we never talk about. Where were her people then?

What would have happened if she had been more like Mae, and put herself first instead of bleeding herself dry for people who never respected her, and would never do the same for her?

People relate to personalities. They relate to choices, and circumstances, and habits, and it is neither a good nor a bad thing, to be relatable or not. Sita will be highly relatable to people who, like her, were governed by their circumstances, and were screwed over despite their best efforts. People who felt they couldn’t, or shouldn’t exercise their power and agency. Sita’s death was at odds with her strong personality, and so was her deference to her fate on many occasions, but there are a lot of people out there who will relate to the feeling of simply wanting things to be over. Mae on the other hand; she’s a steamroller, and she doesn’t stop. There’s a reason her character is a cat, and jokingly referred to as feral in the game. She is persistent, she is growing.

[1] In Defence of Kaikeyi and Draupadi: a Note – by Fritz Blackwellhttps://www.jstor.org/stable/23334398?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents [2] https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/emergency-room-wait-times-sexism/410515/

#ramayana discourse #night in the woods #sita #tw suicice #tw mental illness #mae borowski #spam-by-sam

[lorei-writes]

HC: Boyfriend

Premise: Suitors as Modern AU boyfriends. Request: @joyfulenthusiastwitch Character(s): Shingen

Shingen x Reader

Okay, okay, okay, I hope I did not make too many typos.

Content Warnings: minor injury, (past) serious illness, surgery mention

Shingen

You never quite expected for the two of you to get together, the story sounding more so like a romance movie rather than real life. You - a part-time waitperson working at this odd restaurants of sorts, and he - the pianist, the star of most evenings. Your work? Not to stand out. His? To entertain, and to do it well. No, no, for you two to get closer would be ludicrous... Or so you thought, single accident being enough to prove you wrong.

One step was all it would take, your foot twisting to set at an odd ankle, your body falling forward and crushing onto it. As fortunate as it could be, it was the end of the day, the place closing up just either way... Just to get home, it was your only objective, although driving your car in such a state - well, sprained ankle could prove a rather troublesome thing.

As to how it all happened... It was a true swarm of coincidences. First, most of your co-workers have left the place by then, only you and select few other staff members staying late. Second, two out of three people who you knew drove to work could not offer you a lift - one lived at the complete opposite side of the city and had to be home as soon as possible, the other’s car broke and they had to leave it at the mechanic... And the third was Shingen himself. 

Quite honestly, you were not expecting him to offer you a ride - he looked tired, and well, it was not like you have ever spoke before. Nevertheless, it did happen, and perhaps due to your confused state, you obliged happily, soon seated at the passenger seat of his car. It was older than you imagined it to be, cosier too, perhaps a little small as well, quite contrasting with the man turning the wheel. The suit he wore did not exactly match the thing, you thought. You could not focus on that for long, however - you started talking then, and later, well, one thing led to another and somehow, before you even realised, you were a couple.

He was your constant surprise, each thing you thought you knew about him proving to be rather inaccurate at best. Smooth-talk-wielding womanizer, a player? Well, no, not really, more of a bear-hug-wielding sweetheart, you’d say. And as much as suits did, well, suit him, he looked no worse in his casual clothes, just normal jeans and a T-shirt, sometimes a hoodie. Real men don’t appreciate sweets? Ah, spit it out now, for Shingen was not afraid to taste even the pinkiest cake, as long as it was sufficiently delicious.

You found it honestly quite amusing.

As it turned out, the restaurant was one of his main sources of income, although he did play at several more places - to return money to his friends, he claimed, but never went into much detail.

Overall, it took him rather long to open up and it was only after several months that he finally explained how he got into such a debt. As he stated, there was a time he got gravely ill and needed to depend on the help and financial aid of his friends for a rather long time, his condition rendering him unable to work. It was the first time you saw his post-surgery scars as well. He felt rather insecure about them.

Dating Shingen was generally speaking, less surprising than the man itself. Over the span of a year, you coined some rituals, so to say, having you favourite cafe you’d visit regularly, favourite dishes you’d prepare together, even the bench in the park you’d always sit on during your strolls. It is not that you’ve never tasted anything new, only that... There was some sense of familiarity, of structure, to everything?

Eventually you’ve started spending nights at each other’s places more and more frequently, which led to you deciding to rent a flat together. Of course, you had to make room for the piano.

The instrument was a lovely decoration in and of itself, but what you really could not get enough of was the look on his face while he played, his fingers dexterously moving over the keys. And you knew he played all for you.

Some morning you’d be awaken by a gentle melody, at hard nights his music would lull you to sleep, Shingen embracing you tightly soon after you’d drift off.

Everybody joked you looked like a married couple with at least a decade long practise period.

You continued to work at the same restaurant - and it would sometimes happen that he’d see you passing by, wink at you and dedicate the next melody to a certain “Goddess who brightened his life”.

You tried to convince him that vegetable cakes are still cakes. He did not believe you. What is worse, your appetite for sugar is just as mighty as him, so you looking out for your diets? It’s an act of sacrifice.

Tag list: @datenoriko, @nad-zeta, @tsubaki3192, @missjudge-me, @ikemencrossedmyth, @nuttytani, @thesirenwashere, @milas-imaginarium, @kisara-16, @yukas-clover, @alerialumina , @cheese-ception , @iamryxx, @cottonfluffballofdoom, @ozziegrl71, @rikumorimachisgirl, @bestbryn, @kink-rabbithole @fairstival If you want to be tagged under my future works, let me know (any way works)! ^^ Also, do remember to specify fandoms (and characters, if you are interested only in some) :D If it ever happens that you wish to be removed from my taglist, for any reason, do let me know. I will not ask why, it’s all fine ^^

#shingen takeda #ikesen shingen #ikemen sengoku shingen #ikesen #ikemen sengoku #ikemen series #my ff #my writing

[kanohivolitakk]

I remember that long ago, I said that Karzahni is my least favorite character in the franchise doe to disliking how he was treated from 07 onwards. While I still ovetall dont like what was done to Karzahni, I feel that my feelings towards his character are more complicated than that, and I feel more mixed than anything else.

Firstly, I ADORE his backstory. Just, the whole thing with him being essentially made to be a fixer/healer, only for him to fail at his job and go mad from it. Karzahnis backstory is honestly rather tragic if you look deeper, and I honestly want to write some meta and/or fanfic regarding the guy, theres so many thoughts I have about him and want to share with the world.

I must also admit while the "ruler of hell" concept is a bit cheesy , it is executed pretty well. Karzahnis introduction in Dark Destiny is brilliant, and I love the way hes utilized there. Hes such well utilized villain, softspoken but absolutely cruel and does his purpose well.

As for rest of his appearences do I still dislike them? Yes, I do. At the same time I do wonder what else they couldve DONE to Karzahni. Bevause honestly, Greg kinda wrote himself to a corner with a character concept like Karzahni due to him being basically a ruler of a minor location and his characterization being very tied to that. As such, I cant really be too mad that Karzahni was treated the way he was. Because again, while it was underwhelming, it was easier to use him in tht way. I honestly feel this was probably a reason he was killed, as he didnt really have any purpose in the story anymore. So yeah, still dont like how hes treated, but I understand why.

Lastly...Karzahnis weird to me since, he's written in a way that makes him easily to read as not only very mentally ill, but also neurodivergent. And this makes me mixed since on one hand, this is a big reason why I'm interested in him and want to make more sympathetic portrayal of the character...but at the same time Karzahni falls to the whole "mentally ill character portrayed as an insane madman" trope, which can be a huge turnoff for people and even seen as hurtful if not outright ableistic. I DOUBT he was written to be purposefully hurtful towards mentally ill or neurodivergent people, and instead feel it was of an ignorant carelessness than malice. I also wouldn't call Greg ableist for writing Karzahni the way he did (I dont like calling out ppl of having hurtful view for just the fiction they wrote, and even if I did, I would use some of his comments regarding Tuyet, but even then I feel its more like not thinking that using the word "insane" to describe a tyrant could hit a sore spot for some people than Greg being purposefully ableist.) Again I will probably make a deeper post on this later, so wont go too in depth.

But yeah Karzahni is just so weird since, he just has a lot of aspects I like for a character, but he isnt utilized well in the story imho. Not to mention how I feel extremely mixed on him being a very clearly mentally ill character.

#kirika talks #bionicle #karzahni #creation duo posting

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

Rules and Regulations:

Please do not request the same thing numerous times! It won't make me do it any faster, and duplicates get deleted anyways!

I will try to do as many of the requests I'm given, but there are just some things that I ultimately won't know what to do with. Those requests will either sit for me to marinade on, or they'll get deleted if I don't plan on doing them. I'm sorry if I do end up deleting one of your requests, but I swear this isn't me saying that your request was a bad idea. Usually, I just can't think of anything for it and I don't want to half-ass a request.

I'm an adult. I write adult content. This means that I strongly encourage those who are minors to avoid my nsfw works if not my entire blog. I don't block minors just because I'm not here to police what you guys expose yourselves to, but I am going to ask that you take it upon yourselves to not look at works not meant for you and to be smart with your access to the internet.

I mark my nsfw works with a "***" to let readers know that there is sexual content within that work, and tag all sexual content in the warnings in the beginning of each work. If I have missed a work, please let me know. If you feel I've tagged something incorrectly, please let me know.

I only take requests when I announce that my requests are open, and I only take them through my askbox. If you send them anyways, they will be deleted. I either go by slots or have open requests for certain characters. Please read my banners and the lastest announcement post to find out what/if I'm accepting. Please respect creators when they say their requests are closed

I make all non-smut fics gender neutral unless specified, but, because I'm AFAB and can only go off of that experience, all non-specified smut requests will be assumed to have an afab reader. If you don't want that, say so!

If you request a part 2 for a work, there is a BIG chance I won't do it. If it was meant to be an one shot/I like the ending I originally wrote, I just don't see a point in writing more. However, if it's a work I would consider a part 2 for, I usually say that in the tags!! For those bad boys, feel free to request it (still might not do it tho)

Now, for the things that I will NEVER do/just don't talk about these things with me:

*various trigger warnings

°°° = blocked immediately

Scat/Urine/Vomit°°° play

S*icide/s*lf-harm°°°

P*dophilia/any fic involving romantic relationships with minor characters (yes, that means even aged up requests)°°°

R*pe/graphic descriptions of sexual assault°°°

Inc*st°°°

Dd/lg or age regression (mommy/daddy titles are fine, just no caregiver shit)°°°

Race play°°°

Vore/cannibalism (a vampire eating a human is not the same as cannibalistic!reader I'm sorry)°°°

Hard drug use

Eating disorders/anorexia/bulimia/etc

Some mental illnesses (due to triggering myself while writing)

In fact, anything that would trigger myself (due to privacy reasons, I may not always tell you if it's this case but will simply just delete the request)

Furry stuff (listen- no hate to you guys but I am a monster fucker not a furry so please do not message me about that stuff)

Anything involving bugs

Anything involving the real life actors/not the characters

And some kinks that I'm sure I'll have to add on later cause y'all are- interesting

While some of these may not lead to a block if you spam me with these requests or try to argue with me in any way you will be blocked. But if you talk to me about the things that are noted as an immediate block, well- bye ig

Character List

Updated: 8/26/21

#rules #rules and regulations

[cherokeecharles]

What U Watchin’ #1: Degrassi High (1989) #1

Hi you guys, so currently I’m on break and I thought it’d be a good idea to write. Recently I’ve been catching up on Tv, more specifically old tv shows and rewatching to see if I missed anything I misunderstood when initially watched when I was a minor.

Degrassi was a teen drama show about a group of students, throughout this series they tackled issues like racism, homophobia, Islamophobia, mental illness and many other serious topics. All of these stories were told through the perspective of the students.

Now what I realized is that most people didn’t know that Degrassi started way back in the 80’s and we see some of the characters that we know as parents in Degrassi: Next Generation are actually students at the school. Spike, Snake, Caitlin, and Joey were the familiar faces that appeared in Degrassi Junior High. When I watched Degrassi junior high it was as if the adult characters who I knew and loved were completely different people, watching the show gave me context on why they were a certain way when on Degrassi: The next generation.

Archie ‘Snake’ Simpson was always the reliable friend who most people can depend on to do the right thing even when no one was watching. While watching you could tell that he was used to playing it safe so I now understand why he chose to become a teacher at Degrassi years later. What was really interesting was that in Degrassi high they tried to tap into his relationship with Spike, it showed that Spike had romantic interest in and he did too but it didn’t work out for them and they moved on from that plot in the episode, also it was cute to see him around Emma knowing that in DTNG he became a father figure in her life. It was a bit predictable to see snake as a teacher and a principal because he was always wise beyond his years. He looked out for the people around him and he often had his life together when other peoples life was falling apart. He was on a straight and narrow path to success due to his strict parents. Him being a principal and teacher to teach students right from wrong and not was something he was destined to do because of his natural leadership skills. What now makes sense to me since I watched the show is that is that in DTNG when he had a rebellions streak and cheated on Spike now since I have context behind him as a character I now understand that his rebellious streak came later in life because of how he was raised. He was raised with strict parents who didn’t even tolerate him having a gay brother so the minute he got a little freedom in a better hold on life he acted out in a weird way, and it looked bad on him because he was a grown man with kids when he encountered rebellious stage. Overall he was a predictable character but it was good to have context on Snake as a kid and why he chose to stay at Degrassi for so long.

Spike was the first teen mom in the Degrassi franchise ever. She got pregnant when she was in the eighth grade for her then boyfriend Shane McKay. While watching the show I was frustrated with her because I felt like she was unnecessarily harsh on Shane, Shane’s parents wanted to keep him away from the baby because they didn’t agree with teen pregnancy. When Emma was born he wasn’t there because they sent him away to camp for the whole summer. When she came back she was met with a cold shoulder Spike and she didn’t allow him to see or hold Emma only make child support payments. I thought that she was being hardheaded and making the situation worse than what it was, she did get an opportunity to meet Shane‘s parents and they told her to her face that they don’t support him having a baby and her keeping the baby so she already knew what the situation was. But when I thought of it later on she was only 13 or 14 years old having a baby in Junior high school. Spike had a harder because she was the mother and she didn’t have a choice but to take care of Emma since she wanted to keep it. She was lucky that she had a good support system like her mom behind her. I slowly understood her frustration towards Shane because she had to grow up at 14 years old and the only thing he had to do was pay the child support and even sometimes he couldn’t do that because he still wanted to be a kid. I respect spike as a character now than I did before because she had it harder than most of the other classmates. She was a good mother to Emma and I think she wanted her to be better than what she was, I admire the open and honest relationship they had with each other because it kinda reflects the relationship that Spike had with her mother.

Joey was the character I was most shocked by while watching. Joey wants to trade as a ladies man and the class clown. He rarely takes school seriously and that did lead him to getting held back a year in junior high while his friends went on. With him being left back in the eighth grade we got to see the relationship between him and Caitlin begin. While he was together with Caitlin you did see a huge improvement of how he was in school and how he treated other people. Joey was very selfish but with Kaitlyn she hardly tolerated his selfishness and she always get up for herself and let him know that she will leave if she felt like she wasn’t being treated right. While he was together with Caitlin he learned how to consider other people’s feelings and do better with himself as his grades started to get better when she was with him. Watching him on DTNG he owns a used cars lot, it was kind of funny to see that because in the original Degrassi he wanted this car so bad that he walked in school naked so he could buy one so it came full circle that he was now an owner. Also on Degrassi Next Generation, I feel like Joey often showed regret for how he acted when he was his younger self. From the first episode of the reunion he couldn’t even face Caitlin properly when he first saw her. To see him as a family man was unexpected, he was portrayed in Degrassi High as someone who only cared about himself but now he has to look after his mentally ill step son and his toddler daughter alone. I think the way Joey’s storyline played out was perfect because he was ‘the man’ in high school and to see him humbled and mature enough to care about someone other than himself was a perfect way to show his growth as a character.

This the end of the post! This post was mainly about the characters and some of their storylines, I’m not sure if I should go in depth about it yet but I’m working on more posts!

Now since I’ve written so much and I have a lot more to say this will be an ongoing series! I have more characters to review from this show and I’m so excited to share.

See you later🤎✨

#degrassithenextgeneration #degrassi #degrassihigh #degrassijuniorhigh #blackwriters #blackgirlbloggers #blackcreatives #tvshows #canadiantv #writer #pop culture #tumblr #feed #buzzfeed #black feminism #blogger #whatuwatchin

[mci-writing]

hey, do you know cuter-than-a-corgi-butt? well, you see, im corey lewis, the one who kept requesting yan!shinso from her. do you have any idea what happened to her? she deleted her account, is all the information i currently can get, i haven't been able to check up on her lately, i've been too busy with college. if you have any information, please tell me. im worried about her and i miss her. all that anon she got makes me want to cry; nobody fucking deserves that guys, stop it. please.

(Sorry to any and all who get tagged out of nowhere. It's just a small writing rant on the woes of being a fanfic writer, soooo)

So, after talking to a few people, I found out that the anon hate got so bad that they were going to other blogs and saying she was writing smut for minors 🙄. I've been warily avoiding publicly talking about all the recent crap fandom writers have been getting, but I have to come out about it some time.

So, we all know about how Sav was getting crap because someone narrowly decided to try to make it out that she was talking shit about a set of fic writers that are all close (very popular ones might I add) and I'm going to just go ahead and come out and say that it was me talking about them, but not in the way you may think. @savnofilter has constantly been worried about @lady-bakuhoe @katsukisprincess and @burnedbyshoto and the constant ordeal of people coming to them for clout. If anything, she was just voicing her concerns for them and I was the one mainly complaining about the fandom only appreciating characters and concepts for a certain amount of time (to the point where other people who don't write anything that fits those guidelines are unable to get their work out there). The only reason Sav received hate for it was because everything was practically spun out of context and it's Sav's discord server. She then proceeded to take it and then tried talking things out with certain people so that there was no misunderstanding.

With Cuter-than-a-corgy-butt, she was new to writing smut and just wanted to get her work out there. She, like any other person just starting out, used tags she felt were appropriate to get her stuff out there. I'll admit, I barely knew her. I knew of her content and her blog, but other than that, I never really interacted with her. I did see her name in passing with people receiving terrible anon hate, but I had wrongly assumed things had simmered down only to find out today that she deleted her blog due to all of the anon harassment she received. It got so bad that anons were going to other people's blogs and saying she wrote smut for minors when she was aging the characters up. No one's even been able to get in contact with her and all we can really do is hope that she's feeling better, hope that she's fine.

Spice has been receiving similar treatment about tags to the point where there are times she's really discouraged to even continue with certain ideas.

I'm sorry that this answer is becoming what it is (and this is my second time going off in the fanfiction reader part of the community), but it needs to be said. WE WRITE THIS STUFF FOR FREE OUT OF OUR SPARE TIME FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT. INSTEAD OF SHITTING ON WRITERS FOR DUMB SHIT, HOW ABOUT YOU: FILTER YOUR TAGS, UNFOLLOW CERTAIN ACCOUNTS, BLOCK CERTAIN ACCOUNTS, OR REBLOG THE CONTENT YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY SO THAT TUMBLR CAN APPEASE YOUR TASTES BY PRESENTING SAID THINGS TO YOU. Yes, it's a tedious thing to do, but most of people's issues with this site would be fixed if you did all of that. It's bad enough that we have terrible like to reblog ratios in comparison to other parts of fandoms and quite a couple of us writers have left because of shit like this (i.e Coco and Cho and Corgy). The least you can do is make things easier for us is supporting the content creators you enjoy by reblogging, sending in nice messages to our inboxes or private messages, liking the posts you enjoy, or just spouting off about one of your favorite fics. 

And one more thing because this is also a problem within the fandom: Just bc a set of writers appear to have beef with one another or some form of an issue doesn't mean you need to be a "White Knight" and take it upon yourself to deal with the issue by sending anon hate. Like, if you're gonna send hate regardless, do it off anon, you pusillanimous. Either way, 9 times out of 10, you have no idea what the situation between them is. Even if one person tells you to go crap on the other, have common sense and don't. The internet is dangerous and crappy and toxic enough without your extra two cents. If you want to tell a creator you saw someone talking about them in what you may assume is ill-manner, don't do it where everyone and their mother, brother, and sister can see. There are private messages for a reason.

And last, but certainly not least, send your favorite content creators the love and appreciation they deserve. Tell them what you like about them, ask them about their day, send them numerous hearts in their inbox, something! It means a lot more than you think.

Writers to send love to from off the top of my head (more may be added later): @savnofilter @bxkulani @gottalovegrammar

@izukumidoriydamn @lady-bakuhoe @burnedbyshoto @katsukisprincess @sadistik

@sparkexplosive @trashy-persons-stuff @strawberryandspiceandchocolate

@wonderwomanfantasy @monst @humanitysfandomhoe @tooloudarts @lord-explosion-baku @disasteren @kbakugouwu

You bitches are all bitching (in the good way😤) and don't let anyone tell you otherwise 💗💗💗

#mci answers asks #writer woes #mci rambles #mci rants #writer rants #fandom disagreements #fandom discourse #bnha #mha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha x y/n #mha x you #mha x oc #bnha x oc #bnha x y/n #bnha x you

[dr-skellington]

And The Winner Is...

So I was hella bummed to miss HIV/AIDS Awareness Day... So I wrote this for National HIV/AIDS Testing Day but I feel like it can emcompass both

anyways happy National HIV/AIDS Testing Day! If you’re sexually active y’all better go get tested! 😜

This is being posted to both my main and nsfs blogs because all of us nsfs content creators are guilty of (more often than not) creating content that doesn’t portray safe sex, which is the only way to prevent STDs and AIDS. For all my followers out there, please use condoms when engaging in sexual activity and if you don’t want to get pregnant, use some form of contraceptive as well. Stay safe. Love you guys <3

Please reblog the version with links

Fandom: Sanders’ Sides

Pairing: Loceit

Words: 2,899

Summary: Janus has been in the epicenter of the AIDS pandemic since it began. He’s seen more death, felt more loss, and heard more pain than any human should just within the last seven years. He’d all but given up on family, friends, forming bonds of any kind, because he knew they would just be taken away from him.

Until he met Logan Abbott.

Tags/Warnings: death, character death, HIV/AIDS, takes place in the 80s, specifically ‘87-’89, mentions of ballroom culture, descriptions of illness, descriptions of delirium/fever, descriptions of unintentional minor starvation, this is not a cheery fic guys just keep that in mind and be careful

December, 1987

“Number 37?”

Silence.

“Number 37.”

People glancing around. Logan nudges Janus. “Janus, that’s you.”

Janus startles slightly when Logan nudges him, blinking. He’d been completely zoned out, staring at the white wall opposite their chairs. “Ah, yes. Right. Thank you, I’ll be back in a moment.” He stands up, meeting the nurse’s kind smile with a blank look and following her back to the doctor’s office.

Janus shuts the door behind him, the click of the deadlatch nearly deafening in the silence. He takes a seat across from the doctor in a stiff polyester chair, shifting his weight nervously and crossing one leg over the other. Janus folds his hands in front of him and gives a slight nod.

The doctor smiles at him, opening up his file and looking over a page as she speaks. “So, are you ready to hear the results of your test?” She looks up, one of her eyebrows slightly raised.

All he can manage is a nod, his heart hammering in his chest. Please let it be negative, please let it be negative, it has to be negative.

“You tested positive, Janus. I’m sorry.”

Janus sits in numb silence for a moment, his mind screeching to a halt, the sound of his racing heart unheard past the ringing in his ears. Positive. He had HIV.

“Run the test again.”

He doesn’t even realize he spoke until the doctor is replying, a sympathetic frown pulling at her lips. “We’ve run the test twice. I’m sorry, but that’s the result.” He shakes his head, looking at her with wide, frantic eyes.

“I can’t have HIV, I can’t die! Not yet!”

The doctor raises her hands in an effort to placate him. “Janus, you aren’t going to die. This doesn’t have to be a death sentence. There are options; treatments, support groups. There’s AZT. You don’t need to fight this forever, you just need to fight until a cure is found-”

Janus jumps to his feet, pushing the chair back. “What cure?! No one is looking! The world wants us dead!” He’s bordering on hysterical; shouting, trembling with his racing heartbeat, tears streaming down his face. He wasn’t an idiot. Doctors may promise help and support and solutions but the facts were that no one cared enough to even look for a cure and the only worthwhile treatment killed as many people as it helped. He’d seen the effects of AZT, seen how it can make your body shut down. He was just as well off not doing anything, in his mind.

His doctor sighs, lowering her hands. “I understand that this is hard to accept. I’ll give you a moment to yourself, I’ll be right outside if you need me.” She walks past Janus and shuts the door quietly behind her, leaving him in silence.

It lasts for all of ten seconds before he’s falling back into his chair and hiding his face in his hands as sobs wracked his body. In the span of thirty seconds his entire life had been thrown up in the air, all plans for the future shrouded in a veil of futile hope that he’d even live long enough to see them happen.

The virus had swept through the gay community like the final plague of Egypt, claiming countless lives in the last seven years and looming over thousands more. It had become apparent very quickly that there would be no help. Not from the president, or any governors; no one. Hospital staff would do their best, but even they could only do so much and due to lack of knowledge many of them were afraid to get too close to those on the downslide, afraid of catching the virus themselves. It was the kind of plague that left even the most healthy man riddled with anxiety. It was the kind of plague that didn’t care about sex, race, gender, religion; it only cared about spreading death.

It was the one thing in this world Janus was afraid of.

Janus had been only nineteen when the pandemic began. He remembered hearing of it through rumor, how so-and-so’s brother/cousin/son had become mysteriously ill, only to die months later. He remembered when it was no longer a rumor and people in his own backyard began to drop like flies. He remembered friends locking themselves away, ending relationships, never leaving the house in fear of catching it. He remembered moments of silence in ballroom and the absence of it on the television. He remembered the first house he had joined and the exact number of days it took for him to be the only one left standing. He remembered burying friends, brothers, sisters, mothers.

And now Logan would have to bury him.

Oh god, Logan. How could he tell him? He knew the pain of watching the man you love withering to nothing before your eyes while no one offered help. Now that he was on the other side, though, nothing terrified him more than Logan not being there, being left alone to rot in a hospital bed while this virus stole his life from him. But Janus was not a cruel man.

He had to tell him. He had to give him a choice.

Janus took another moment to collect himself, wipe the tears from his face, and stood. He left the doctor’s office without a word and made his way back to the hall Logan was waiting in like countless others from their community. The way Logan straightened up and looked up at him with hopeful eyes when Janus finally turned the corner crushed his heart in his chest. This may be the last time that he gets to see that face, hold those hands, kiss those lips.

He walks up to Logan, who’s stood up to meet him with an expectant look. “Well? What’d she say, Janus?”

Janus takes Logan’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. Logan’s expression morphs into one of pain and sadness.

“I’m positive.”

“Janus…”

Janus takes a breath through his nose and lets go of Logan’s hand. “I’ve been on your side of this too many times to ask that you stay in good conscience. If you… If it’s easier for you to leave, to move on now before things get bad… I understand.”

“Ten, ten, ten, ten, ten! The winner is Janus from the House of Fidelity!”

Janus Jackson was twenty-three when he met Logan Abbott. By then he had buried half of his house and five boyfriends, and had decided life would be more tolerable if he stopped forming close bonds with other people. Despite this self-declaration, anyone you asked would claim that Janus was an open, kind, charismatic young man. He could make the terminal men laugh, gossip with the most effeminate queens, and trade beauty tips with all the trans women without making anyone feel awkward, out of place, or invalidated. No one knew his whole story, but everyone loved to fill in the blanks. This was just as well, in Janus’ mind, as it made it nearly impossible to tell which parts were fictional gossip and which were the sad tale of his life.

Logan was a twenty year-old nobody from out of state. He’d moved to the city for a change of scenery, or so he claimed to anyone who would ask. Janus could tell there was more to it though, and had he cared at all about making friends he might have pried. He assumed Logan came out and got shamed by his community, as was the story for many of the people in the ballroom scene. It was their home, their refuge where they could be themselves when the world told them they were a mistake, a disease, a cancer. Logan had taken quickly to the ballroom scene, finding like-minded people to watch the night’s categories with.

Logan blinks, his eyebrows furrowed and lips slightly parted. “I… Janus, I would never leave you just because you have the virus. You mean more to me than that. I love you.”

Janus sighs, relief and sadness washing over him; he was thankful he had met Logan, that he wouldn’t have to go through this alone, but the guilt of putting Logan through the same pain he’d gone through would weigh him down until his dying breath.

“I love you, too.”

At some point during the night, be it during a category Janus was participating in or just idle chit-chat, someone had pointed Logan his way. Janus swore he would find out who it was and make them suffer, but for the moment he had to uphold his reputation and make Logan feel welcome. Logan had come wandering over like a little lost lamb, taking the chair next to Janus tentatively and glancing at him.

“Are you… Janice?”

Oh, this bitch.

Janus rolls his eyes. “Janus.”

Logan blinks. “That is what I said.”

“You said Janice. My name is Janus. J-A-N-U-S. I can hear the difference.”

Logan looks at his lap. “I see. I apologize. Though admittedly I feel a little better not having had the chance to accidentally misgender you.” He casts a glance around the room; gay men, a few lesbians, trans women - some more obvious than others - and those you couldn’t label at first glance.

Janus snrks. “Oh honey. You better watch those comments before you offend the wrong people. This isn’t the suburbs, where you can gossip and slander behind closed doors.” He sighs through his nose, crossing one leg over the other as he gives Logan a once-over. “But I can’t fault you for not knowing. Yet. What is your name, pup?”

“Logan,” he says, just loud enough over the emcee to be heard. Janus leans in with a soft smirk.

“Well Logan, after the ball you’ll be coming to my house and talking to mother. We can’t have a cute thing like you living on the streets.”

Logan blushes and nods, and the two turn their attentions to the next category being walked.

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

In the spring of ‘88, Janus got a bad flu. Janus and Logan had just buried their house mother the week before, leaving the two of them and Roman - their newest and youngest house member, a gay Latino boy who was barely older than eighteen - in their house. Roman had been debating leaving to join another house, but his loyalty to Janus as an older brother-now-house-father (oh, the irony) kept him in that dingy apartment. Roman and Logan did their best to look after Janus, checking his temperature every few hours, feeding him soup and helping him drink water, helping him bathe when he was too weak to stand on his own. The flu lasted nearly a week before his fever finally broke. Once it did, Logan was hopeful that Janus would recover quickly, but he never fully did.

As the months went by, Janus seemed to have less and less energy. By the beginning of fall his diagnosis had been moved from HIV to AIDS, and he had stopped walking the balls. If he was having a particularly good day, he would still show up and show support for friends in other houses. Roman had even walked a category on one of Janus’ good days to cheer him up, earning the House of Fidelity their first trophy in almost a year. Janus had cried when Logan wheeled him down the runway to accept the trophy at Roman’s insistence.

The days began to grow colder and Janus never left the apartment. If he even got a cold, he could die, so he and Logan decided it would be better, safer, to stay indoors with the heat on. It didn’t last too long; November rolled around and Janus was admitted to the hospital with an infection. He couldn’t sleep, had trouble breathing, and would only eat if Logan was there to make him. No one thought he would live to see Christmas. Even after his infection cleared, Janus stayed in the AIDS ward with the other men who were too sick to leave. The place smelled of chemicals, with a backdrop of hacking coughs, desperate prayers, and crying. He hated it there, but Roman and Logan made sure to visit as often as they could to keep him company.

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

On Thanksgiving, Logan walked into Janus’ room to find him gripping the pole of his IV stand, walking the length of his room like it was a runway. His eyes were unfocused, swinging his arms around in a delirious attempt at vogueing. Logan carefully approached Janus, gently guiding him back to bed, his heart beating anxiously in his chest. Janus sat on the edge of the mattress and looked up at Logan with a soft smile.

“What are my scores, baby?” He asked airily. Logan swallowed, his eyes burning with tears.

“Tens across the board, my love.”

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

“Everyone misses you in ballroom, dad. Every night I got people comin’ up to me and telling me they hope you’re doin’ okay.”

Janus gives Roman a small smile, patting the teen’s knee as he sits before him on the bed. “And what do you tell them, Roman?”

Roman grins. “I tell them my dad’s the strongest guy there is! Just watch, spring’s gonna come and you’re gonna get better, I just know it.”

“I’d love to see the looks on their faces when I walk into the room like nothing happened.”

Logan smiles, running his fingers through Janus’ matted hair. “I’m sure you will, love. You just need to rest up.”

“Rest up later, it’s Christmas!” Roman shouts, bouncing a little. Janus chuckles.

“Yes, yes it is. Logan, did you bring the packages I told you about?” Logan nods and hands Janus two sloppily-wrapped presents. Janus hands the blue one to Logan, and the red one to Roman. “Merry Christmas, you two.”

Roman grins and snatches the present out of Janus’ hand, ripping the paper off. “Oh, bitchin’! Thanks, dad!” Roman holds up the leather jacket to inspect it, showing it off to Logan. Logan nods in amusement, watching Roman put the jacket on before he carefully unwraps his own present. He gasps as he looks down at the picture of him and Janus laughing together as they sit next to each other, Janus’ hand on Logan’s knee.

“Just in case. Don’t want you forgetting how hot I am,” Janus jokes lightly. Logan looks at him with teary eyes and takes his hand, squeezing gently.

“Never.”

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

“I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry, Logan,” Janus sobs, his body shaking as tears make their way down bony cheeks.

Logan shakes his head, taking Janus’ hands and looking him in the eye. “You have nothing to apologize for, my love.”

“I-I didn’t want to d-die alone, I’m sorry, I’m s-so selfish.”

“You couldn’t have gotten rid of me if you’d tried.”

The pair sit in silence for a moment, Logan rubbing Janus’ knuckles as Janus cries. It was one of those days where a fever made Janus overemotional. Sometimes he thought it was still 1987, and when he realized it was almost 1989 he would lay there and cry, apologizing for trapping Logan with him. It was the same conversation every time.

“I don’t w-want to die.”

“You won’t die, my heart, not for a long time.”

“I should h-have taken the AZT, I should have tried e-everything I could.”

“You said so yourself, there is a significant chance that taking AZT would have shortened your lifespan even more. I’m thankful that we’ve had this time together, I wouldn’t want to change a thing.”

“I-I’m so sorry.”

“... I know.”

(∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

Janus Jackson passed away on January 2nd, 1989, just twenty minutes after his boyfriend Logan had left the hospital. He’d passed away in his sleep, having been well looked-after and held in the arms of the one he loved until he drifted off. The funeral was a week later, and something told Logan that he would need to find a big space to hold it in. True to thought, the day of the funeral the entire church was full of people coming to say goodbye to Janus and celebrate his life, drawing a crowd so big that it spilled out the front doors. No one had known that Janus was religious. No one except Logan.

Logan tested positive for HIV just two months later. He’d sat in the doctor’s office in contemplative silence, nodded, and thanked them before leaving the room. That day, he’d walked the streets of Brooklyn and thought about his time with Janus; all the laughter, the excitement, and the tears. The one thing that kept coming back to mind was all the nights he would sit by Janus’ side in that hospital bed, listening to him cry and apologize, listening to his regrets. Logan returned to the doctor the next day and got a prescription for AZT.

Logan Abbott lived to the age of fifty-four. He had a small number of boyfriends in his life, a few after Janus’ passing, and had buried almost all of them. Shortly after testing positive he had joined ACT UP, leaving behind the balls that Janus loved so dearly to instead fight for his community’s life. When he finally passed on a cool spring day in his own home, Janus’ gift in his hands, he found he had no regrets, looking forward to seeing Janus once again.

#not safe for sanders #death tw #aids tw #hiv tw #illness tw

[magneticmage]

I'm in the mood for it (plus it's Disability Pride month) so here are all my disabled ocs;

Under cut for Length

Additional Notes; Please do not judge me too harshly. While I have a few of these disabilities (most notably PTSD, anxiety-depression, and visual impairments) myself and personally know people who have some others, every person and their experiences are unique. I try my best to give these disabilities the space and gravity they deserve in my writing, but it is difficult for ones that I have no personal experience with. In addition, I am still learning and only human. If I have done something wrong or phrased something badly at any point now or in the future, let me know and I will do my best to fix it/do better. Apologies for the abrupt disclaimer but there we go.

Anyways!!!!

On the the List!

RWBY;

Selene Argent=Has PTSD, one prosthetic eye, and some physical scars on face and torso. I'd safely say she counts.

Baldur's Gate;

Sable Shades=Is an albino and was rendered mute at birth. He sunburns extremely easily and is near-sighted. He also often communicates through sign language.

Roan Roarke=Beyond some minor PTSD symptoms (increased anxiety and stress levels) surrounding fires, he's perfectly fine.

Faenerys Elendir=Has PTSD from her time imprisoned particular involving whips and brands as torture implements.

Rune Mistsea=Post-lycanthropy encounter, he is notably more short-tempered around the full moon along with a distinct craving for meat and violence. Otherwise, nothing else of note.

Lucine Mistsea=Beyond a notable paranoia issue when it comes to demons and cambions (but not fellow tieflings), she's fine.

Lyr(e/a/an) Lovemoor=Autistic. Too much light and noise and surrounding activity is draining and makes them short-tempered with occasional blowouts/meltdowns. Has a Thing about certain textures (very much hates slimes and oozes and squishy things for this reason, likes silks and furs and leathers). Has a fascination for all things shiny and glittery (gems and currencies are a special interest). Also often fidgets with their daggers.

Saga Musehart=Was rendered blind due to torture at the hands of prison guards. She also lost a hand (initially) and a forearm (later due to infection) and wears a prosthesis.

Cei Gloomdraft=Autistic or at least neurodivergent of some kind. Might have some ADHD, it's not quite clear yet in the few pieces I've written so far to help develop her.

Mass Effect;

(Solo Shepard Canon)

Annette Shepard=Has some lingering PTSD symptoms from surviving a raid on Mindoir, then thresher maws in Akuze, and then being spaced at the beginning in Mass Effect 2. She also suffers from some survivor's guilt Post-Virmire due to losing Ashley, and then all of Mass Effect 3 puts such a huge burden on her that she's fighting off some severe depression and despair from all the losses. She's got an old war injury in her shoulder that acts up from time to time, occasionally making her biotics misfire a barrier. She's on immuno-suppressant drugs to prevent her body from rejecting her Cerberus-added cybernetic implants and upgrades, and also some antidepressants for depression and anxiety symptoms for said lingering PTSD symptoms. Girl's a walking disaster-fire mentally but she keeps on surviving and she still looks for the good in life as it comes, so there's that.

(Shepard Siblings)

Joanna=Like Roscoe and Riley, she's also on immuno-suppressants to prevent cybernetic implant rejection. Notably, she's the most well-adjusted of the three mentally, although the losses and struggles of ME 3 start to take their toll due to depression. She spends an awkward month on the Normandy adjusting to the new medication while adjusting the amounts needed. In addition, she also goes through a whole existential crisis come the Citadel DLC about if she is really Joanna Shepard or a clone (which Riley, Roscoe, and the Normandy crew snap her out of). Her survivor's guilt is much less pronounced than Riley's though she does start the early stages of a martyr complex (it's a source of frequent and well-humored debate between Riley and Roscoe if it was already there or not) about the of Thane's death. But she does her best and keeps on going.

Roscoe=Definitely mentally ill. He's got some trauma around abandonment that starts to get fully addressed around ME 2 in part due to Jack and Miranda and is mostly resolved around ME 3 though naturally scars remain. It often manifests as anger, depression, and even callousness. Like Joanna's and Riley, he is on immuno-suppressants to prevent the potential rejection of his cybernetics. He's also got an old wound from Torfan in his abdomen that acts up under stronger pressures like before a rainstorm or different gravity levels as well as drastic temperature changes such as cold (he HATES Noveria for that reason in particular though it isn't the only one, man). Beyond all that, he's very strong-willed and gives no fucks to shit.

Riley=Much like Annette except a bit more well-adjusted due to a larger support network and character drive. Has notable flashbacks/triggers around batarians, thresher maws (this one includes panic attacks once the direct danger has passed), and hardsuit complications (they always makes sure that their helmet and everything is in working and optimal order). Has survivor's guilt from their losses on Mindoir and Akuze but between meeting Talitha and Toombs in ME 1, they confront and deal with it, beginning to heal from it. Even on Virmire with the loss of Honora and all the failures of ME 3, they do better at handling it though it still remains to varying degrees. Like Joanna's and Roscoe (and Annette again), they're on immuno-suppressant drugs to prevent issues with their body rejecting the cybernetics, with the additional ones of antidepressants to help manage some of their anxiety-depression symptoms. They also have some degree of chronic pain (maybe some kind of cystic fibrosis?) due to past overuse of their biotics that damaged part of their nervous system and occasionally causes it to misfire for no reason, often causing intense pain. Rarely and only if the pain isn't treated with extensive biotics-free rest periods and numbing agents in the form of more pills, the biotics will manifest and they'll accidentally move shit around, including themself a few times. This is most notable in ME 3 due to the nature of the larger and longer combat sequences with shorter and shorter rest times between. Though they manage as best they can with the help of their crew and family, it is still a struggle and they notably stop joking about retiring when they're dead and seem to consider it more seriously around ME 3 but save the final decision for the end of the Reaper Wars.

(Shepard Family)

Honora Hartford=She had an eating disorder when she was younger that left some lingering issues with her health but overall she's fine up until her death.

Riley's deceased siblings were overall healthy though Payton had Down's Syndrome and Brooklyn had ADHD. Harley had moderate asthma and used an inhaler.

Clover has anemia quite often and takes iron pills daily

The rest of the Shepard cousins don't have any disabilities to much knowledge though I am still fleshing them out.

(Andromeda)

Sara and Scott Ryder have some lingering damage from their cryopod accident and the Kett leader fucking with them, but otherwise they are okay.

Asher has ADHD while Shiloh struggles with a mild form of chronic fatigue. Evander, Rebecca, and Lucas are all able-bodied.

Dragon Age;

(Fereldan Wardens)

Lynera Mahariel=Dunno if this counts, but am putting it here anyways since it affects her overall health. Occasionally suffers from a type of sleep paralysis that is mixed with night-terrors. It doesn't appear to have a rhyme or reason as to when it occurs beyond perhaps stress and it's only every few months. However, it often leaves her completely drained for at least a week afterwards. She also occasionally has insomnia post-terrors as well which she self-medicates with sleeping draughts. She also has crippling period pains that appear to be consistent with ovarian cysts on her left side (though she later has it removed by Catriona once it ruptures due to injury). She also suffers from bouts of depression during Origins but that could be due to the extenuating circumstances she was under at the time.

Isemaya Tabris=When overly stressed, being exposed to strong amounts of concentrated Taint in a short period of time, or sometimes simply for no apparent reason, she suffers from intense migraines that are often treated with herbal painkillers and lying still in a dark and quiet room. Also due to a past injury to her left eye by humans, she has a harder time seeing on that side but is not completely blind.

Catriona Surana=She seems to be autistic due to her ability and predilection to hyperfocus on various studies (often Blight and magic-related but other areas do occur) as well as her obliviousness to social cues (she didn't realize she was liked by her suitors until Cale outright told her and by then she had decided she liked them already). Notably, she adapts a bit better Post-Origins due to Alistair and Leliana's influences but it still happens.

Cale Amell=Had some minor amnesia surrounding the exact events leading to his magic manifestation but later learned it was because he had set his eldest brother Azul on fire and believed he killed him as Raven helpfully supplied (Azul had instead faked his death as Cale discovers around the time of Awakening).

Fion Cousland=Briefly suffers from a minor alcohol addiction but has treatment while he is still in the functional phase courtesy of Catriona. Since then, he heavily monitors his intake and even helps Oghren get treatment for his own. He also occasionally has painful muscle twinges due to an injury that stretches from his temple to his eye and ear down to his neck on the right side. This is most notable in bad weather or when he is sick.

Barran Aeducan=Suffered from a superiority-inferiority complex towards his siblings growing up though it has greatly lessened with time and experience. It is mostly gone by the time of Inquisition though prominent traces still remain.

Tatha Brosca=She is hard of hearing and has manged to cope by learning to lip-read (not always successful, however, especially with languages she is not familiar with) in Origins and a pair of hearing "horns" designed for her by an admiring Smith caste man by Awakening. She often jokes that now she has even more in common with her Bronto companion, Salroka, due to their shared horns.

(Origins)

Vireth Mahariel=Suffers from epilepsy and often treats it with various herbal remedies, though it is not completely effective and large amounts of intense stress on his body make it worse. He also begins to develop cataracts around the time of Act 2 of Dragon Age 2, though the cause is unknown (presumed genetics or simply age at the moment).

Elthorn Tabris=Has a stutter speech impediment.

Alaros Surana=Unknown at the moment as I haven't written too much about him.

The Amell Siblings=Probably doesn't count but Azul gets motion sickness, especially on boats. Raven, Carmine, and Reed are all perfectly healthy and fine, however the latter two are the ones I've written least at the moment. Marigold has asthma that she treats with herbs.

Aelynne Cousland=Nothing comes to mind. She does have some old injuries (mentally and physically) she acquired from the attack on Highever by Arl Howe that color her later interactions with the family during the Fereldan Civil War.

Valda Aeducan=Has a notable visual impairment that is corrected with glasses, albeit there is nothing to be done for her slight colorblindness (she has a hard type distinguishing between greys, greens, and blues).

(Orlesian Wardens)

Dion Caron=Suffers from sleep apnea that is eased by a special breathing herbal-incense infused mask he wears as well as whomever in his group is on watch to check on him periodically to ensure he still breathes (most often this is either Victoire-Ainsley or Garam). He also snores and coughs due to this. Loudly.

Victoire-Ainsley Caron=Nothing of note.

Isenna Andras=She's an albino and so burns and rashes in intense light and heat. She also has a lame leg that cannot be fixed with magic and so wears a reinforced brace to aid her walk. This creates a noticeable limp.

Garam Kader=Alcohol makes him sick and he suffered from intense gender dysphoria before paying a huge sum to have an ex-Tevinter magister turned fellow Warden help him transition.

(Hawkes)

Jasper, Skye, and Violet Hawke are perfectly healthy. Albeit with some diet restrictions due to various allergies.

Gray Hawke=He is diabetic and so often has to monitor his energy levels to ensure his health. It's part of the reason he doesn't actively endanger his life like his siblings (not that he won't, just less often in comparison). He acquires a truly impressive diet regime and treatment plan upon becoming a nobleman of the Amell family, allowing him much more freedom than before.

(Marquises)

Aurore and Marcel de Serault both suffer from mild hemophilia. Marcel also has a lyrium drug addiction he is trying to break (and is actually doing quite well via weaning himself off it) due to a brief stint as a Templar while serving the Chantry.

(Inquisitors)

Armashok Adaar=Poor eyesight that cannot be fully corrected by glasses and later loses an arm due to the Anchor. He also lost a few fingers and some right hand mobility due to pre-nquisition injuries as a mercenary. He also wears a brace on his left shoulder. He wears a prosthetic eye and replacement arm.

Ransley Trevelyan=Like Cullen, he is working on breaking his own lyrium addiction from his time as a Templar and, like the other Inquisitors, loses his arm due to the Anchor. He had it replaced with a prosthetic arm for his shield side.

Paeriel Lavellan=She loses an arm alongside all the other Inquisitors, but takes the loss much harsher due to her archery skills suffering. While she will wear a prosthesis in battle or when hunting, she doesn't wear it in her day-to-day life, instead preferring to make due as needed. She also has anxiety.

Naranka Cadash=She loses her Anchor-wielding arm and gains a crossbow-and-dagger prosthetic one courtesy of her Inner Circle, much to her delight. She also suffers from some damage to her reproductive tract due to past injuries and is uncertain if she could have children.

(Inner Circle)

Kara Adaar=Beyond an intense hatred of slavery due to being kidnapped and almost sold when she was younger before being rescued by her father, she's perfectly healthy. She does require bedrest for her periods though.

Emilyse Trevelyan=She suffers from some PTSD from her abuse at Templar hands in the Circle, though she begins to recover towards the end of Inquisition.

Samrel Lavellan=Has dyslexia and uses reading aids and memory devices.

Pyrmar Cadash=He might have some PTSD from his Carta days due to a notable cave-in that lasted for a few days before his rescue.

#disability mention #trauma mention #amputation mention #eating disorder mention #my ocs stuff #mentions of addiction to drugs and alcohol #gender dysphoria mention

[poppyluxe]

i wanted to talk about my own experience with toni / taylor / swiftofrph / margotofrph / admin baby / quinn etc. around the time of 2013 - 2016 ( phew plz be patient with me as i’m not great w/ writing things out so i’ll try make it as clear as possible ! )

i must admit that taylor and i had a friendship that for a while i really appreciated. i cared about her a lot, which is exactly why her behaviour was so triggering and somewhat traumatising towards the end of our friendship. however, i have made a few friends through this experience that i am so fucking grateful for. i just wanted to put this out there for those who run groups and/or those who are joining groups, who want to know what kind of person she is/was, and to be wary, lest she proves that she can change her behaviour. 

( tw; writing adult content with minors )  -  i met taylor in a smut roleplay group when i was sixteen, so it would’ve been 2013 i think ?? there were no age restrictions in this group, as i was sixteen at the time, and my best friend, who was fourteen, was also in the group. taylor was a legal adult at the time, yet interacted with the both of us, and often pushed me to complete her ships and write heterosexual smut - mostly haylor - with her despite the fact it made me uncomfortable. i was young, anxious and eager to please, so i’d give her the ships she wanted, so that she’d give me the ones i liked in return. ( i was wrong to have been in that group but at the time i wasn’t aware of how dangerous it actually was. i was very naive at this point in my life, and due to trauma i wasn’t very good at noticing red flags. )  i don’t think i really realised until recently that she was one of the many people in the rpc who would roleplay sexual content with me being a minor, and with my characters being minors too. ( i don’t have any reason to believe that she would do such a thing now, but the fact that she didn’t find it questionable then is very strange to me. the second i turned 18, i instinctively knew that it was fucking creepy to smut with anyone younger than myself at that time. )

she’s proved herself to be incredibly ignorant over the years i knew her. at some point she was suggesting latinx names for my white characters, and pushing me to join roleplay groups that ‘would be okay with lesbian characters’. the wording of this threw me off, because even then i was under the impression that every group should be okay with LGBTQ+ characters. she also allowed a straight, cis female character into a sapphic-centric group so long as the character pretended to be gay.

she dismissed my mental illnesses, and implied that i ‘drove people away’ with the way i worded things in the ooc. she knew me for years, and knew about my intense anxiety and the social awkwardness that came along with it. ( i’ll admit i’m a little at fault here, but as an admin she should have tried to be a little more understanding, especially as someone who suffered from anxiety herself. )  

she allowed bubble roleplaying and didn’t make an effort to resolve the issue. there were several times i was excluded from her group i was a part of and she did nothing to prompt people to reply to my posts or interact with me. it was very cliquey at the time, and when i brought up these issues she called me impatient and told me to ‘wait for people to reply’. the issue wasn’t people taking days to respond, it was that people weren’t replying. period. she made me feel guilty about wanting to drop my characters due to lack of interaction. 

SHE ALLOWED CONSTANT HARRASSMENT + BULLYING FROM OTHER GROUP MEMBERS. this was what caused me to end the friendship with taylor.  taylor had a friend join the group not long after myself who went by the name heaven. i’d plotted with heaven, and after two dead threads, i didn’t interact with them again because i was socially awkward and figured i’d annoyed them. until they interacted with a starter of mine, in which their character made an advance on mine, which mine reciprocated. days later, without having interacted with heaven again, their character was accusing mine of sexually assaulting them. from this point onward, the gossip blog was full of hate towards my character that was all very obviously from the person who went by heaven - though it wouldn’t surprise me if taylor was involved in this too. i told taylor and the other admin about this multiple times. the other admin wasn’t much help but she was definitely more sympathetic than taylor. taylor didn’t even give heaven so much as a warning, and they were allowed to continue their harassment for weeks until they got bored of bullying me and left. it didn’t last long, however. taylor then allowed this same friend to come back under a new alias. it wasn’t hard to figure out it was them, since their writing style was the same, and the second they joined the group, their character was harassing mine, and once again the gossip blog filled with hate for my character. a good deal of the messages were also subtle digs at me as a person also, which was devastating.   taylor allowed this to happen. and basically implied that it was my own fault because my character had a mental illness, and it made her unlikeable. she once again let this harassment continue for weeks, maybe even months. from this point onwards, i tried to avoid dealing with taylor. 

THIS WAS A TERRIBLY HORRIFYING AND TRAUMATISING ORDEAL. i have an array of mental illnesses, and she essentially allowed people to push me to a breaking point. even though she didn’t directly harm me, she was actively participating in it by allowing it to happen in a group that she was in control of.

i was so anxious to be on tumblr that making an indie was incredibly difficult for me. i was constantly worried about taylor making an indie under a different alias, and risking the chance of having to interact with her again. 

while i can’t speak on her behaviour now, i can definitely speak on how she’s behaved in the past. i believe that people can change, but it certainly doesn’t seem like she’s made much of an effort to. i can only hope she learns from this experience, educates herself and treats people with a little more kindness. 

#rpc #rph #time to pull up some good ol friendship trauma #i might delete this later idk depends if i regret it or not !! #tw

[renaroo]

A Cass with Many Faces

About a month ago, specifically on Cassandra Cain’s fictional birthday, I made a few posts dedicated to one of the fictional characters that have had a visible, measurable impact on my life, and has continued to do so since I first picked up an issue featuring her in 2004. I was twelve years old at the time and the issue in question was the fifth of a six-issue arc starting off Superman/Batman. I picked up the issue because Superboy -- my then-favorite comic book character -- was on the cover including some other characters I was mildly familiar with. And the character that I came away with the most intrigue in was, of course, Cassandra Cain. 

Next time I was at my LCS, I picked up an issue of her solo series that was still ongoing at the time [Batgirl (2000-2006) #47] and instantly fell in love. 

I’ve made posts before about how a scattershot strategy can be a good thing when talking about characters in multimedia franchises. Characters are more likely to endure in these environments if they are given more presence, and more significance, when more voices are advocating for them. 

In the past, I was speaking about my experience in seeing the opposite happen with Cassandra. 

I can honestly say I would have never checked out Cassandra Cain had it not been for her minor appearance in a silly comic four years after her debut. I was twelve, and still fairly new to DC Comics having grown up with a Marvel loving family, and as the years went on and Cass was diminished by poor corporate decisions, I learned a lesson about strategy with characters in these franchises. If they are not seen outside of their lane, if people aren’t exposed to them outside of their one series no matter how fantastic and great it is, when that series is canceled and they are mishandled, there is not going to be any protection for them. 

Bad comics happen all the time, bad adaptations happen all of the time, it’s the nature of the business. But for the thousands of terrible Batman stories that have been published and the hundreds of head-scratching Ninja Turtles adaptations, there have been, they continue to prevail and good things happen to those characters’ IP because there is enough material out there to keep people coming back.  

[Superman/Batman (2003-2011) #5]

This is all a long introduction to get into saying that we are starting 2020 in one of the most unique and unprecedented ways we could start it as Cassandra Cain fans. There is, I’m pretty sure for the first time in the two decades of this character’s existence, an almost scattershot approach to getting as much Cass content out in a blitz as possible while aligning with the first time she has appeared in multimedia outside of video game DLC only a few hardcore fans will ever get a hold of. 

But, as to be expected, not all interpretations of Cass are going to be the most helpful or similar to the character as we know her. And while I try to think strategically, it’s important to acknowledge these differences outright. Because if this is someone’s intro to her character, it can paint what they see and expect from her for the rest of their experience. 

I can’t say how good or bad that’ll be, I am the fangirl who jumped on board when Jeff Loeb was writing and Ed McGuinness was drawing. My quality receptors will forever be in question to more purist fans!  But I do want to start out by saying that most things are valid when it comes to starting out with a medium as ridiculous and unintelligible as comics, and we can destroy each other over the remaining 10% any day. 

Let’s talk about some Casses. 

Shadow of the Batgirl (2020)

If you or someone you know is at all interested in reading more Cassandra Cain and the 73 issues of her original series are intimidating, there is a simple solution that has been given to us by Sarah Kuhn and Nicole Goux, Shadow of the Batgirl. 

In a very short first-reaction review I did the week this graphic novel came out, I mentioned that I was teary the entire time I read this graphic novel because it was just so darn impactful and endearing. And that continues to be the case. 

This is a YA graphic novel aimed at introducing young new readers to Cassandra and a world that desperately needs her gifts to escape the shadows of her past and regrets in order to fully realize her potential for the future. And it is both heartwarming and gorgeous. 

One of the things I have hit on for years when it comes to Cassandra Cain’s treatment in comics is that it has felt that for a good half of a decade if not more, what she lacked more than anything was a consistent advocate on the publishing side of things. Fans and decent sales -- which, to be clear, her meager appearances and even the majority of her solo did definitively have -- were never going to be powerful enough on their own to give her a publishing opportunity if there were not writers and artists there to provide good stories. 

In 2020, more than any other year, I feel like we finally see the fruition of these things coming true. Sarah Kuhn’s blurbs and interviews have been filled with personal love and detail for the character and her importance, which only fueled how great it was when the Shadow of the Batgirl did come out and surpass almost all expectations.

This is a retelling and reinventing of Cassandra’s origin story told completely from her perspective from the beginning. 

One of the lasting critiques of Cassandra’s beginnings in comics has always been her silence and lack of voice at the very start of her career. While sometimes these complaints grew to hyperbolism and would deny provably existent agency -- and to be clear, there’s still a lot of that to a concerning degree to this day -- there is truth to the criticism. Cassandra’s internal narration was not provided for almost a year after her first appearance which is an alienating tactic to use for a character meant to be latched onto by readership. Even when handled well, the thoughts behind this choice still deserve examination. 

This was further complicated by later reveals that Cassandra’s difficulty with expression was in part due to her aneurotypical processing. These are not independently bad choices to make narratively, I have gone on for thousands of words before on how important I believe Cassandra’s dyslexia is, but the shakey start to giving the perspective of an aneurotypical character a definitive voice to tell her own story is right to be critiqued.

Shadow of the Batgirl completely circumvents this by giving Cass a clear voice from the start and focusing her central relationships on the power of expression and individuality while giving her plenty of characters of varying backgrounds and abilities to bounce her own understanding off of. 

In some parts, this greatly enforced Kuhn’s take on making Cass’ story a teenage coming of age story that she has proven skillful at in YA novels. It also allowed her to directly correct many of the wrongs that have been long criticized about Cassandra’s original series, such as having Barbara Gordon (a physically disabled character who should and has shown more sensitivity and nuance outside of her terrible capital-M-Moment in Cass’ series) embrace and love Cassandra for her aneurotypical perspective.

[Batgirl (2000-2006) #54]

[Shadow of the Batgirl (2020)]

But, for those of us who adore and have attached to Cassandra for her disabilities and portrayals of mental illness in the past, there is also some nuance and representation that has been left on the cutting room floor for this new origin. 

Namely, while Cassandra is shown to be perplexed by and struggling with books in the graphic novel, there is not the desperation and frustration that we actively see her undergoing throughout the original Batgirl (2000-2006) series. By issue #58 of a 73-issue comic book solo, Cassandra is actively struggling to read “It was,” and her insecurities toward it are used and manipulated by the villain by the end of the series. 

However, Cassandra of the Shadow of the Batgirl shows some capacity to read from early on, and her struggles with reading are not the subject of conversation in the novel, so how much her limitations are a function of dyslexia and how much are a function of her childhood is left up to debate. 

A debate with many questions that do require an answer since the form of her isolation and abuse by her far-less rounded character of a father in this graphic novel has been changed dramatically. 

While I am giving these critiques and do think that we should be mindful and conscious of their removal for those fans who are seeking out those types of stories to read, I do not want to at all give the impression that this is a bad comic. 

In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I would argue with just about anyone that this is the gold standard for Cassandra Cain stories printed in the last fifteen years, and for what I miss about the original iteration of Cass stories it can easily be exchanged for the new voice and new direction for her character this graphic novel provides for us. 

Many of these critiques can be chalked up to the graphic novel being just that, a self-contained graphic novel and not a 73-issue monthly publication. And I believe its art and story are a great deal more consistent and appealing than many eras of the original series as a result.

I love its tributes, its characterizations, its purpose, and its focus above all else. There is also something just utterly charming about having Cassandra’s first well handled romance in comics come from a YA novelist who obviously understands the character and also understands what readers want in a non-toxic and adorable story. 

I love the focus on Cassandra’s journey being on self-compassion, forgiveness, and the earnest belief that people can change. Including yourself, if you make the choice.

It is a good book, the best for Cassandra Cain in ages, and one I bought no less than three times already to show my support. And in just one week on my classroom bookshelf, I’ve already seen it be avidly read by five students. And those are just the ones I catch!

I would also be remiss not to mention that after complaining about this pet peeve of mine for years, that it’s happened. It took us twenty-one years but we finally did it, guys. We got a costume that Cassandra Cain got to make and design herself! And not only did she get one but she got two! An adorable (and hilarious) DIY Batgirl costume, and then ending on the high note of her official Batgirl costume to swing through the city in! 

This book is precious and I hope it is the start of something new and exciting in the future. Even if that new and exciting is simply a sequel graphic novel, I will be HERE for it, and supporting it and Sarah Kuhn all the way. 

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)

Oh, boy. If there was one reason I was scared to make this post, it was because of this film.

Before I get too deep into this I want to first state my position on a few of the controversies that have cropped up online with concerns to this movie and its portrayal of Cassandra Cain. 

First and foremost, I have no interest in telling people how they should or shouldn’t be offended on the grounds of representation and erasure. Not being able to or simply being unwilling to forego criticisms of tropes or insensitivities perpetrated by this or any other film are completely valid experiences. I have been that person in regards to other things, and I have also been someone whose first exposure to serious issues were the stances people took with regards to protesting certain media. 

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) has faults and plays into certain erasures (one of which I’ll discuss more below) that people may be unwilling to let go of. If that is the case for people you know or see online, you should accept and support them. Listen to them. 

But I do think we should also support people who love this movie for good reason. I enjoy this movie, but it’s not life-changing for me. I support it in the hopes of seeing more and better. 

There are students I have who now are wearing merch and drawing fanart of the Birds of Prey, picking up the comics for the first time, because of their exposure to the hype and “girl power” of this movie. Some adults needed this movie to be some hopeful change for them and I support them too.

We’re lucky to be alive at a time where a superhero movie is so completely told from a feminine perspective, with a huge diversity of filmmakers behind it providing female voices at every level from acting to casting to scripting to directing. We’re lucky that there’s such a diversity of the cast. I want this to continue.

I hope that it continues to do better in theaters, and I know there are some murmurs of poor box office returns for it. I hope that doesn’t affect future projects. We’ll see.

All of that out of the way, we need to talk about its use of Cassandra Cain. 

The joke I’ve made with my friends is that the best thing to do with this movie is to start getting in the habit of calling the young girl at the heart of this plot “Kassandra Kane” instead because the connection between this character and that of Cassandra Cain is fairly negligible. They are both young women of East Asian descent who pop up in Gotham. 

I happen to like both characters, but there’s an obvious difference between one focused on as a main character and hero of her own story and one focused on as a supporting character who has plots happen to her. Neither is a bad thing, but my preferences obviously rest with the former.

It’s the fact that they were supposed to be the same character that seems to baffle most people. Myself included. 

This may have been a move more suited for a character with less history and expectation on her before her big debut, like Sin who is Dinah’s adopted daughter in the comics and already connected to the Birds of Prey, or the character who clearly inspired Kassandra Kane, Ditto from the Black Canary (2015-2016) series. 

[Black Canary (2015-2016) #6]

I also think that adaptation that dramatically changes Cass wouldn’t necessarily be a terrible thing either. With some rewrites and some more agency, a younger and more hardened Cass from the streets could have also worked with the movie they were trying to make -- perhaps have David Cain be Black Mask’s main enforcer rather than Victor Zsasz. Give Cassandra’s connection to the plot more character-oriented and have her liberation work in tandem with the liberation of the adult women. 

The options were there, and there are critiques to be made, but the movie also knew what it wanted to be and spent its script and filming time focused on maintaining the continuity and integrity of the adult female characters who it probably could justify putting in the rated-R situations their fights got them in more than they could young Kassie Kane.

One of the no doubt unintended consequences of this has been that online discourse revolving around Cass vs. Kass has been in justifying the decisions one team has over the other in claims of racism and ableism.

Now, to be clear, my ability to speak with authority on either of those points is minimal. I’m an ally but not a voice of those communities and I want that to be as upfront as possible. I can only speak from personal experience in the realms of being a woman and being someone who lives with and has survived mental illness. And I can speak as a critic of media at large. 

There are racist and ableist connotations in many things, and I am not going to deny that those conversations are relevant and need to happen in regards to Cass’ original portrayals or in this film. They do. I know even in my first viewing I wondered how it was deemed so unimportant and so uncritical to give even a moment where Kass could display dyslexia or any other form of disability when we had entire sequences dedicated to backgrounds of characters who appeared for half a second of screentime. 

But I’m seeing a lot of discourse that is especially leveling claims of racism toward Cass’ original portrayals and not always looking at the voices of fans of color who debate that argument. But I also see people outright denying any critique of Cass’ original portrayals having overtones to them that are unsavory. The answer is to maybe settle for something less radical than both positions.

Like there is no ethical consumption under capitalism and we should murder the patriarchy. Just like Birds of Prey taught me.

I enjoyed the movie a lot, Kassandra Kane was a lot of fun, but it’s a 1/5 for adaptation which is bizarre for a movie that was firing on all cylinders for almost literally every other character that came on screen.

Batman and the Outsiders (2019-) #10

When it comes to consistent monthly comic publishing, the pickings for Cassandra Cain have been incredibly thin for years, arguably since the end of her own solo in 2006. But since the DC initiative “Rebirth” in 2016, an era has been entered where, with a few months here or there as the exception, Cass has been appearing in some comic each month. 

That seems like a small thing to celebrate, especially when the quality of monthly content can vary so much depending on the creative team, but it has been a hugely important development that Cass has been put on a team book for over a year now.

Bryan Hill is a comic veteran at this point, publishing comics independently and from both Marvel and DC, making him quite busy, but one thing I’ve really appreciated as a Cassandra Cain fan is that he has consistently shown love and appreciation for her character.

The Cassandra that features in Batman and the Outsiders is arguably the closest the character is to her original solo series on paper, and Hill has weaved her origin story and relationship with Lady Shiva into the overarching plot of the entire series. 

For me, Batman and the Outsiders has been a little slow in its story structure, and I worry about how that will affect the future of the book and whether or not it will continue as an ongoing after Hill’s planned departure, but his character focus is also my style of comics to read. And make no mistake that there is a plethora of character development and examination in every issue. 

Cassandra is sharing her page time with her Outsider teammates, but this can be a good thing. Development is easier for characters who have consistent character interactions, and I have always been a firm believer that the Outsiders as a team concept works the best for Cassandra’s specific needs. This plays out and the team consisting of Bruce Wayne, Jefferson Pierce, Tatsu Yamashiro, and Duke Thomas all compliment each other and compliment Cass very well.

I do want to mention that I love this book and think it’s great reading for Batman fans, too, even with Bruce’s reduced presence. And I think the snub the Duke and Cass are receiving in other Bat titles like Peter Tomasi’s Batman: Alfred Pennyworth R.I.P. just last week is cruelly shortsighted. 

But, hey, Tomasi being dismissive and backhanded toward members of the Batfamily outside of his preferred five. Guess it’s just another Wednesday. 

Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey (2020-) #1 (of 4)

After the complete circus that has been made of the Black Label Birds of Prey title meant to tie-in with the movie -- one DC thought to give to Brian Azzarello who vocally despises Harley Quinn and is divisive (to say the very least) in his treatment of high profile female characters that he does say he likes -- I wasn’t expecting DC to come through in aligning movie buzz with their comic publications. To be clear, DC has always sucked at doing this and I really didn’t think it was special to the BoP movie.

When Conner and Palmiotti got to announce their own tie-in for the movie that was supposed to be more fun and use more of the same characters, I was intrigued but also a little concerned about how this team would handle it. I can like or dislike their work depending on the project. 

But my god, were they absolutely on when it came to this first issue of their four-issue miniseries.

I didn’t think I’d be recommending fans go pick up the first issue of the Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey miniseries, but I am absolutely doing that for any fans of the movie who, like me, enjoyed it but wished a better Cassandra Cain adaptation had been woven into the plot. 

Amanda Conner’s history with the character of Cass and with the Birds of Prey, in general, is actually interesting. While she is regarded for her art and her storytelling now, when she first started at DC it was art only in the credits, but those credits included a BoP arc and several fun covers for the latter half of Cassandra’s Batgirl (2000-2006). When she later had the opportunity to write comics along with doing their art, she even had Cass (albeit very chattily) feature in a rare team-up with Power Girl and Wonder Woman in the Wonder Woman (2006-2011) #600 special. 

And, of course, the husband and wife team have become industry heavy hitters thanks to their smash hits with multiple Harley Quinn solo series. 

This is a fun and cartoonishly violent miniseries that plays to their styles properly, but the characterizations in the first issue struck me as very true and very calculated. Cassandra Cain does not speak in this entry, but that allows Conner to stretch her artistic muscles in making Cass’ actions and expressions give a lot of character to her role. Which already shows more restraint and understanding for the character than many others have with Cass -- including Conner’s freshman efforts at writing Cass herself. 

Cass isn’t alone in the little joys of this comic. There are overt references to Conner and Palmiotti’s Harley Quinn miniseries and solos that place this non-mainstream comic in a more nebulous space than the Black Label imprint would initially make you think, and the strong characters feel as though they walked off of the pages of their current mainstream efforts. All of which I greatly appreciate. 

Not to mention on the front of queer representation, while Harley is a mess, I’m glad that I can unabashedly relate to her as a gay mess without obfuscation this time.

If there’s any comic that new fans brought on by the Birds of Prey movie are likely to pick up themselves, it’ll probably be this one. Which is a great thing because it seems like an honest effort with strong roots in the original comic source material for everyone -- including Cass this time. 

Shame I can’t recommend it to my middle school students who are loving the movie. Though, I suppose, if they are watching a rated-R movie they’re probably sneaking to Black Label comics too. Little scamps.

DCeased: Unkillables (2020) #1 (of 3)

I cannot believe the wholesome Batfamily content I’ve craved for a decade needs the zombie apocalypse to happen. 

While I read DCeased last year and didn’t hate it in the vein that I thought I was going to due to it being a zombie apocalypse AU in a superhero universe that seemed to keenly pull from the surprising successes of Marvel’s efforts, I never imagined that it would join the ranks as continued Cassandra Cain content vehicles.

It must be the sign of a good decade, right? Bats are lucky, indeed.

While DCeased proper dealt with the aftermath of the Anti-Life Equation that was Totally Not a Zombie Virus as they kept telling us over and over again, it was pretty closely tied to the most main of main DC heroes and heroines and their families as they attempted to survive and escape the hordes. We didn’t see many other fan-favorite but not quite A-tier heroes’ efforts until the tie-in comics began coming out. 

I, as a Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, and Mister Miracle/Big Barda fan adored A Good Day to Die, but I never saw DCeased: Unkillables coming. And even when it was announced I said to my dear friends “This will either be very good or very bad.”

I need to put more faith into Tom Taylor, he really hasn’t let me down just yet.

In Unkillables, we follow the days after the Anti-Life Equation is released on Earth now through the eyes of two teams -- one helmed by Deathstroke, whose unique physiology allows him to recover from infection and is now joining other supervillains in a doomsday cult led by Vandal Savage; one helmed by Jason Todd, whose unique position as the family rebel has apparently left him out of the loop enough to not die with Bruce, Dick, and Tim in the series proper, but not so out of the loop that he can’t access the cave and the heart monitors Bruce creepily keeps on track of all their other family and friends, letting him reunite with his estranged sister Cassandra and Jim Gordon. Who is just as confused as you are that Batman kept a heart monitor tracker on him without asking. Also, Ace the Bathound and I love it.

This is the first of three issues, but it fits a lot of character work and relationships into those pages, which if you’re paying attention, is the sort of writing that seems to be most helpful with Cassandra Cain's appearances. 

I am hoping that everything continues to work well for this team, even knowing that we are going to have bloodshed and death along the way, but I think that the setting of making the last stand in an orphanage protecting children is the exact kind of thing these three characters would be united to do together in the zombie apocalypse. 

This is a fun, albeit bloody and morbid, comic that is worth picking up for anyone who misses Cassandra being Batgirl as much as I do. 

Also wow that family photo with Cass alongside her brothers and father. It took us this long to finally get one, huh.

Worth it. Suck it, Tomasi.

I have a lot of love for Cassandra, and a lot of opinions as well. Obviously! But what I love more than anything is to enjoy good stories with other people, and I’m hopeful and joyful that there seems to be more and more of those things intersecting on the horizon. 

If you’ve enjoyed my take on any of this, I hope I can continue to point you toward content in the future. And even if not, if you want to share your takes with me, I hope I can provide some good conversation there, too! 

Most of all I hope we all have something wonderful we can look forward to. 

[Shadow of the Batgirl]

#Cassandra Cain #Batgirl #Birds of Prey (2020) #Shadow of the Batgirl #Batman and the Outsiders #Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey #the Orphan #Black Bat #DCeased: Unkillables #DCeased #Batgirl (2000 2006) #Superman/Batman (2003 2011) #Sarah Kuhn #Nicole Goux #Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) #Ella Jay Basco #Black Canary (2015 2016) #Batman and the Outsiders (2019) #Bryan Hill #Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey (2020) #Amanda Conner #Jimmy Palmiotti #Tom Taylor #opinions opinions opinions #Rants of Unusual Size #batfam #long post

[carrywolfy]

okay i will explain the drama

lol im bad explaining things in english because google traslator messed up things but is neccesary to say also im bad at making rant because im not big fan making rants because all bad arguments i did before

i bit copy paste this on my latest deviantart jounal but some changes to be undertandable i know people will block me or doesnt be agree at me but im gonna be honest at this and without fear all everything i saying is truth

Disclaimer: im not harrassing or attack users i just telling about the biggest drama i made on the Leopets site (a fansite dedicated to old school neopets) also please dont attack me because im telling the truth and all the mistakes i made ,please do not think that I am a crybaby because I am explaining honestly and sincerely and also you ask "why you blame yourself?" uff long history but i hope people understand, apart this is not an attempt at sentimental manipulation it is only an explanation of what happened to me.

probably no one will forgive me or they will not understand but I don't care and it's worth saying this, because it was my fault that I caused drama to the Leopets site that I did ... why? there my cases:

well im sorry to say this but is neccesary to say It because is very important, is for my content  that I did before, wow wow wow what? yes is truth because i was navegating in tumblr quiet and searching "leopets" to see what happend until suddenly I saw a post about what happened in that community and they did not lie and this I have to tell is true .. I was a mental illness yes i feel idk what i turned because i before did "zoophile" art and not only i was made porn being minor (well i really make nsfw art at 14 years old in 2016) although it is one of my worst mistakes i made well why? because i was super curious lol... at first time i get disgusted but the second time i was goin to like it blah blah blah oh yeah i was pervert before.. but that's not what matters because well past things lol, Suddenly the user began to give evidence about my content that I did when I was 17 years old before being adult and one of my cringy nsfw art i made before being 18 when thinks is rapist because the "tears" part but well i was thinking "okay is just tear pleasure" but i think dont work and looks like more rapist than tear pleasure, but man is made before being changed but well, because of the content I made now they think I'm a pedophile and a zoophile and i understand and im pretty sure they doesnt forgive me because all the bad things all i made the life, when thats why i need changing my content and no-longer make ilegal content , Maybe that is not an excuse but you must understand how guilty and responsible I am, it is also my fault that I made the admins allow pedophiles,babyfurs and zoophiles and that I understand, also of course now I must mature and be a good person.

speaking explicitly about my content, good sorry for saying this and I hope you do not attack me for doing this and I must be honest with you which one according to the post (please do not attack or insult her because what she says is true) she mentined about my cringy non-human x human stuff i did before specially neopets and kirby (and some other fandoms) when Currently I no longer do human porn or anthro x feral (well I'm fine with human x human, anthro x human and anthro x anthro now ) but is necessary to tell why   In fact, I thought that fictional beings are sanpient, I mean intelligent beings that many do not know, but I thought that it would be also that if it is fiction and the puffball part i have a explaniation how can make more sense most likely they are alien beings since they can interact with other people and do things that humans do, even all aliens are different in appearance and power and sometimes they also live with humans as we saw in animated movies or science fiction (im actually dont do making canon characters i mostly do my adult fcs and legal  i mean vainilla only) , what did a mental sick go to, but it is time for me to change, besides that I put the link to my FA page for some reason, what I did went very wrong and I don't know why I didn't delete my FA account before but well it's my fault and my mentality yeah im dumb.

Speaking abouts my stamps yeah i before again i was pervert and most my stamps are bad...really really bad and i did mostly nasty stamps im sorry but i know was terrible (i plan to deactivate my old deviantart account) so yeah i before If I used to complain about people who do not like the content +18, which I currently respect those types of people because no everybody have same taste or have same thing, so im sorry for all these persons how get offended i was dumb yeah but is not your faulth,is my faulth well yeah also all the accounts i actually using are not NSFW account because im changed now well i dont stop make nsfw but i wont involving too much of that when mostly im actually make sfw art now . But the actual problem is on my cringy stamp about "I love c*ntboys" because i before doesnt know what is trans man and i was wrong saying "c*ntboys" because again before I did not know what transgender people were until I discovered that it was sorry in fact it was one of my worst mistakes that I made also that I no longer use the term "c*ntboy" now I only use the term "trans male", "trans female" and "intersex" well i hate most my stamp i made in the past and my previous account of deviantart because im suck make stamps ,mostly bad argumented and I regret having done it

speaking leopets drama i was thinking what i have done because after reading that user post when i prefer to not naming and I prefer that you investigate for yourselves but I warn you not to harrassing, insult or attack the user and she was right, although if I only made things worse but hey I'm not going to give up I felt bad and I kept thinking about bad things that I did all these years that I can't believe so I had to control myself and try to do the bad things that I did again, and is my faulth to ruin the Leopets community because my bad content i did before and my mental sick thingy,when im not longer a sick person now and im stopping making zoophile and pedophile stuff yeah... And I suggest most of the members of Leopets will not be satisfied with me but they have to know the truth about me, clarify if you and the other members of Leopets, if you are reading this I do not blame you, remember that I know as I said several times I am responsible for the page ending like this and this is a message for the admins, please do not accept more pedophiles or zoophiles since you have to know what to do how to detect one even if they do that disturbing content (like i did before) , Maybe no one will agree with me or forgive me, well if things are not solved just by apologizing but you have to understand the person who converted me and I hope to change (I am changing slowly) I promise you that I will not make illegal content again, also if it was It was a mistake to do it when I was a minor, although I was not the only one but i had some friends from other communities also did it at those ages, I know that I will not return to leopets due to the disaster I made and my reputable content that I made, although if I regret everything, believe me in 2015 when in that year I did not know leopets, I used to steal characters from other artists, even from 2014 to 2015 I traced drawings of others These artists, which later I did not do it again and I regretted it, even in 2015 I was homophobic before because I complained about gay ships because of an ex-friend of mine who was actually toxic and that made me pay attention to him and I regretted doing it, of course I had many bad moments that I did and really if it is terrible what happens, and again I do not blame them, sorry for all the things that I have done but I did not give up since I will begin to evolve a better version of me to leave behind the bad content and my repulsed behavior I did and move on to my changed content which by now will be good and more interesting (im actually mostly sfw art now), also the only bad thing i didnt is babyfur well thankfully but the rest oh god...

also yes i was Kacheekawaii34 in Leopets and i was feeling guilty to all things i ever done but well yeah i got banned on leopets because the drama i caused, also to all leopets member I am not playing the victim or manipulating sentimentally, I am only explaining the truth what happened to me and believe me I am the cause of the problems that occurred in Leopets as well as I said a true im a guilty and sometimes toxic, i dont blame people on leopets when i dont want admins let hiring pedos,babyfurs and zoophiles when again im goin to change and forgotten all the bad things i made,I know that nobody wants me not to return to Leopets but my decision is to grow up and admit my mistakes that I made.  

And one more thing to know is that we are not all the same, we are all different, I mean, we all have different tastes and different things, if for sure I will have no defense and everyone is going to humiliate me for everything I did wrong but it is necessary to know that We can all change and leave behind all the things we have done before and follow our future, even we can all make serious mistakes since effectively nobody is perfect in this world, everyone is different and we are humans and we know humans make mistakes , and im sorry i acted as sick person but i promise wont act like this again

Sorry if some things are terrible explained or repeated, it is that it is super difficult to explain this and if you already know what happened to me and if it cost me a lot to write it but it is necessary to say this the truth about me and surely as I said nobody will To forgive but .. the safest thing is that they must accept my new changes that I will have and I will not be the same as before, now I will be a respectable person and I will not do that repulsive content again and believe me everything that explains is necessary to understand and read this , It was a long time, unless almost not the same thing happened to me like with Nicchi / Blackout, the creator of the well-known fnaf fangame "Dormitabis" to which he turned out to be a pedophile to which he made the reboot of that fangame be canceled after that the team found out what happened with the creator of the fangame towards repulsive things and end up abandoning him (in addition to the fact that the creator left the internet after this scandal) well after talking about this I hope it improves me and I know Feel better since I learned from the things I did and I already had a lesson

well see ya!! and i hope the next year i be better now and changed

#leopets #we are humans and we make mistakes #im suck yo explain yeah #i hope feel better

[unikornu]

Alright! Finally got time again to shoot you some questions for the ask meme. For Lucy: A1, 2, 9, 14, 24. B1, 13, 16. C3, 4, 6. D2, 3. E2, 4. F2, 5, 10. G2. H1, 6, 8. I1. L2, 4, 9. Also for Harrison, finally someone who can use the K questions... K1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10?

Hell yeah long post coming and i’m so happy with the K section,

Lucy: 

A1. What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…

I actually took a test thinking how she would answer and i think i got it perfectly right. I wouldn’t pick it better just by reading all of them i think. She came out as Turbulent Entrepreneur (ESTP-T) which feels ok. “ Rules were made to be broken” - hell they were. Also “ If Entrepreneurs aren’t careful though, they may get too caught in the moment, take things too far, and run roughshod over more sensitive people, or forget to take care of their own health and safety.“

Judging by her action and the way of living she is like that. Going all the way, having hard time just by staying idle and ohh yee taking things too far without thinking of consequences. Like chasing an enemy and realizing she left her support far in the back and then dealing with difficulties by herself. Constantly going careless in combat, forgetting her own safety, thinking she will make it anyway but it comes back biting her in the ass. 

Also she is not smart but she can see minor hidden things, be it while cracking some password on terminal or spotting who in the crowd wants to stab her in the back just by the change of their face expression so she might be stupid but still outsmart some folks and mechanics out there and that fits with the nature of the job she had before the war. 

A2. What alignment are they? Chaotic neutral, lawful evil, et cetera…

I never played DnD games and so on so this one is hard but Neutral Evil - she is aware of her being on the bad side of a coin and is willing to do whatever it takes to make her wishes come true even if it means killing someone but she still have some self restrains and won’t go against the allies she is currently working with and friends she made on the way and of course innocent creatures. She has some base etiquette rules and isn't rotten to the bone but when she wants something nothing will stop her no matter the cost as long as it doesn’t strike her out of the game of harms current company. She is bad but not for sake of doing evil shit or proving something but just to do what she wants and get what she wants even if blood will spill. 

A9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others? 

She will sure make a lot of excuses for herself after fucking shit up or going way too ahead in combat. But only for herself. She is the type of pointing finger at others while tugging and biting her tongue just not to admit she wronged someone or something and avoid too many questions or yelling at. 

A14. Is your character empathetic?

Despite being a bitch she is empathetic. But might show it a bit differently...like in a page i wrote for Halloween with that bunny mask. She didn’t chop that man only because he grabbed her ass but because he was using many other women poor financial situation just to have some easy sexy time and she did feel bad for them so...her empathy stroke in a solution of killing him instead of only knocking him out and caging. If someone would harass Lizzie or...i dunno Hector, someone she considers slightly weaker at standing up for themselves and is in her “social” circle or society part then she will show empathy by stabbing those who bother them with a fork in a eye, a bit extreme but that’s how she understands empathy. Someone is chaining and kicking a dog at settlement? She will chain that man onto the bridge and let him hang and die slowly and take a dog in Pack care. Gage complains that his gun got broken in a fight and can sense some sadness, she will run for a stealing caps heist to buy new one. So...she feels empathy but her answer to it can be...well unusual, brutal and extreme.

A24. What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?

Type of question i hope i understood correctly :)) 

Fear of failing to deliver is her biggest personal obstacle. She was always scared, since childhood to fail at meeting certain expectations, be in it school for her mother who would change her mind bazillion times due to mental illness, then Harrison and fear of his eventual punishment mixed with mental abuse if she doesn’t carry her mission to the end, with Ian it was fear of failing at being the good loving partner due to her secrets and then comes whole town of raiders with Gage on top who have expectations of her and promise of certain small paradise if she delivers but...these fears always pushes her into actions more than she has to and it exhaust her mentally and can sometimes prove deadly, ending up in injuries that could have been avoided. She is aware of this but because it carried through her whole life its unavoidable. 

Also she doesn’t interact much with a friendly society groups because even if she knows she is bad its not something she actually likes to hear. Coming to a small town just with intentions to have a drink and imagining that people will only show her a pistol barrel and tell her to fuck off because she is from within raider circle fills her with doubt so strong she just tends to avoid this kind of meetings.

How was the saying: “Don't tell a psychopath they're a psychopath, it upsets them” and she will get deeply upset. 

B1. Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?

Get respect to give it. She doesn’t trust that people will respect her back if she puts effort so she won’t show respect even to great president of whatever wastes because she also doesn’t care if someone respect her but if they pull a hand out first she will shake it back. Her life is too risky and careless to think about gaining someone’s respect first. 

B13. Do they have a large or small group of friends?

If she would consider all nuka town her friends then its big but...nope, small group. Its mostly Gage (even if they are partners they can be friends too), Lizzie, William, well...Mags too and along with that Mason later on once she gets his loyality and a few traders from which she keep connections with Maddox, Chip and Shelbie. From Far Harbor for sure Allan would be easy to gain as a friend. Longfellow is just a friend grandad <3. Harrison cannot be questioned, too scary to reject him. From Commonwealth i can’t yet get idea where she could get the best friend circle. Well aside from that whatever other oc’s out there who accept her bitchiness and way of being :)) but i don’t think she would make many friends out there, she is...well plain simple and dangerous.

B16. Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix?

Definitely in the center of attention, since she couldn’t be back then. Now that crime and killing is fully legal and there is no police chase other than some disgusted by her behavior minutemen she can be a in the center of a show and she likes it. A circus ring leader, hell yeah...well raiders can be clowns too from time to time. And let’s not start with parties and free time. She’s the first to get up on table to dance. It gets her a bit to realize things she can get away with but once she does she only misses there is no spotlight at the end of the fight, shining on her.

C3. Is it important for them to be with people (socially, intimately, whatever) whose major ideological tenets align with their own?

Major indeloghit....tents what? Good lord, i swear i’m too stupid for these kind of words but good i keep the dictionary close to me, right in the next tab.

Big yes. It’s not many people like her out there and she doesn’t want to flip her coin back to being good and peaceful towards rules of the world, she simply isn’t able to mentally change back anymore so in order to keep feeling like she still has a hole to belong to she needs to spend time with people like her to also boost her confidence that she isn’t the only one with broken mind out there seeking completion of her wishes through darker path. And knowing so isn’t leaving her in fear she will need to change her ways of life. 

C4. Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?

No. Even is she is the Overboss she rather rejects that title and prefers to be just a business partner with Gage. She doesn’t seek and need to feel important or superior, she only wants to feel useful around people she decided to blend in with and have a purpose, nothing else. The fact that she can strike orders around doesn’t fill her heart nor mind with some higher importance or value above other. Also she doesn’t considers her enemies lesser even knowing her skills, its just bad approach that can easily get one killed and she prefers stays on a same line with others. Be it friends or foes.

C6. What do they do when they see someone asking for money or food? If they ignore them, why? If they help, how so?

Depends in what state that person is, she was the liar herself so she can spot one if its an actual person in need or just lazy poor soul. She will usually tho just toss a few caps and walk away without listening or hearing more from that person. She doesn’t want to struggle with a morality remaining deep in her brain if she did right or not so she will just deal with it fast and walk away, telling them to fuck off if they will follow her. These kind of people are like those annoying reminders in a shape of beggar poking her and making think if she still has some pure humanity left so...she wants to be just done with that part. But animal coming up to her is a different deal, here humanity will always strike unless its a seagull stealing her meal, then her humanity part will shrink and there will be a rock thrown in the air after that birb, as a survival contest. 

D2. Do they believe in an afterlife?

She never gave it a longer thought. She cares about here and now but if she would meet someone knowledgeable in that topic she would be willing to open her ears for few minutes longer and put the knife down. She doesn’t rejects religious topics as long as someone is not brushing a saint books or whatever right in her face. She has an open mind on more than just a mortal topics mostly because of Harrison. 

D3. How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

She wasn’t scared of death before the bombs and when wandering through wasteland because she just didn’t care for her life and maybe that’s what made her most effective but this changed once she realized she can finally live a life she secretly wanted but was restricted before. Her strong desire of finally rejecting the dying part is what caused certain being to finally break away from her ;> well i wrote about it in last page so yassss

E2. Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera)

The strongest is surely the Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence, she was trained to the bone and with her careless nature she is mostly depended on her physical skills and putting them into perfect timing. Even if she got a bit rusty after bombs the return of Harrison will bring her back into the right gears of phasing like speed and combat thinking. 

Weakest could be probably the Intra-personal Intelligence mostly because even if she understand her actions she isn’t very good at analyzing it any deeper other than “i want that man’s money cus i want that”, i guess....i could describe it like that. I cant really get any deeper or more detailed into this because there is for sure one thing i share with Lucy....we are simple minded simpletons but..i might be a bigger one :)))

E4. Did they enjoy school if they went to it?

At the beginning she didn’t enjoy any school as other students would consider her a weirdo because of her mother which would sometimes show up, uncalled at school and act really weird but later when she decided to stand up for herself after meeting Harrison as a kid ....others in school didn’t enjoy that change as much as she became seen as a pretty bully girl being overly extreme into serving “justice”. The only classes she enjoyed tho were gym and biology ones as she wasn’t scared to cut a frog but others seeing her just chopping it like a piece of ham could...weighted on her reputation. Also she always joined like a sport/cheerleader groups to have less problems with teachers as it was bringing school good reputation and she was fairly flexible and with high stamina so it was also easy for her. So from being bullied she became popular bully girl of sort. She got hooked on law later on because she wanted indeed to serve some justice, in a peaceful manner at start. So all in all she didn’t enjoy school at start but then she didn’t mind it as she took business in her hands, a bit over the edge but well...bully with some feelings eh? I don’t have many details as to what exact type of school she would go but another reason she would enjoy sitting at school once she became the one in charge is to spend less time at home with her confusing mother so she would be staying late for some extra gym trainings, sweating her emotions off.

F2. What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?

In Porter’s rough, dirty yet soft heart stuffed in his sweaty smelly top.

She can call Fizztop an ideal home of sort. The weather in Nuka World strikes her preferences and even since she was strolling with Harrison from time to time there before the war she just loved that place and beside the first deadly visit there they made a good memories there, father and daughter like. She prefers her home to be placed inside the town as she hates sleeping in open spaces even if its a single house on top of a hill. She just feels too lonely and insecure. It’s weird to say that but she feels safer to sleep in a town filled with raiders than alone in the wild.  

F5. How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?

Fairly handy but on a level of fixing a broken car mirror with a duck tape or just gluing shit together hoping it will hold long enough before it breaks again. If she would fix a door handle it would most probably end up upside down on the other side of the door. And if shit breaks again...she will just shrug and glue it same way again or at least add one more layer of duck tape. Sometimes she will try to convince herself she knows what wire to put where when it comes to electric appliances but she only knows cars and car still ain’t a toaster so....electric shortage and fizzy hair incoming. She needed a manual on shoving a cable inside a robot so yeah. But when it comes to fixing clothes she is as good as with cars. Even if some parts can be similar like in car engine of sort she still has hard time to connect the dots if seeing something like half similar. So give her a broken car/truck/any clothing she will swing a wrench or needle and fix that shit in no time but hand her a tv pilot or spoken toaster and she will just look at it and ponder..deeply.  

F10. Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?

Arts...with her only painting comes to my mind but not like painting a landscape but more things like a car painting, pack faces and more abstract stuff which she learned again in Sapphire club with Rosey due to many events that were having certain themes so they needed to do body paints and so on.

I don’t know if dancing is any kind of art but i can imagine her discovering that pole dance but on a level of these sport like competitions. Lucy is flexible and has enough strength to try to perform this kind of stuff since from already school times she was doing a lot of gym and sport in general.

As to how good she would be at these probably not like perfectly good to very details because even she doesn’t have need to be horribly good. Needs to be good enough to just make her happy and she doesn’t have high standards in these topics. I dunno why i found that question slightly tricky....

G2. Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?

The only family she had was her mother since her father left once he could no longer bear with her mental issues and bringing stranger men to house and then getting pregnant with her. I didn’t build up yet like a bigger family tree but..yeah it was just her mother and her most of the time. 

H1. What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?

She is 100% heterosexual when it comes to her orientation both romantic and sexual. She can flirt with same sex but that would only include situations when she needs to finish her job or reach some other goal, no feelings involved whatsoever. 

H6. Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?

She didn’t catch Ian neither Gage to cheat on her. She tends to flirt with other men like William but wouldn’t take it as far as to sleep with him or do it on purpose to hurt her partner feelings so...she doesn’t cheat. She still has SOME backbone. 

H8. What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?

She doesn’t have high needs when it comes to perfect date topic. As long as it involves alone time together without additional crowd and some beer she doesn’t care if they sit in a fancy bar or on some building stairs. Perfect date is any that includes relaxed talk, joking, alcohol and a happy ending in bed together. Extra points for bringing her nicely cut flower. Despite being bully, killer and involved with raiders she was looking at late evenings at these white/grey romantic movies where couples were just doing simple things, walking late night together and so on, so her perfect date ain’t complicated. 

I1. What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?

As long as its not slimey and gooey like she’s okay. If something of mentioned above would slip into her food she will just puke it out instantly. She prefers salty and sweet tho as her pre-war diet was mostly like so. Salted hard boiled eggs with grilled tatos topped with pinch of salt again and then 200 years old cotton candy for dessert or potato crisps. She eats meat too but like fried till its crunchy. 

L2. What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?

Brain error so i hope i understood this right:

Leaning into the evil side of the society fully confident it’s the only and last right choice to achieve true happiness and satisfy the already croocked mind. 

L4. Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

In my real life probably yes but even i would be slightly nervous around her because she tends to bend towards very extreme solutions if some problems would arise or someone would make me angry (due to her empathy) but in fallout universe hell yeah, i’m just not sure i would be in a physical capability to keep up with her but i wouldn’t mind to get a legendary cane..along with it...But yeah, i would like to hang out for a beer and see her beat some stupid folks and maybe give a her a friendly hug to remind her she isn’t that bad and she will be fine....and apologize for burning her hands lol. If she would find out i’m her creator..oh boy, i’m sure she would beat me with my own cane over the head. 

L9. How did you come up with your OC?

I had different OC design before but she was actually just a general good joking hero, she even had a brother but that got lost later on and that male oc was left just for MMO’s as an additional character. Then a lot of things happened in my life and because i was gaming since early childhood like Norton times and..the pixelated Blizzard Blackthorne it also affected my rpg and game choices in general, like whole way of thinking since gaming was and is big part of my life. I was curious what would happen if i take my oc through the mental change grinder and push it to the edge, towards losing the patience for justice systems and add a pinch of evil mixed with some trauma to give her some reason to choose that path. And there she is. Her face features didn’t change much, neither body type and so on but her mentality is hell of a different and i just...love her. She isn’t perfect, neither that horribly bad but i’m very pleased with how she came out. I threw a glove and was done with playing hero at some point because of life experiences and she came out of my cauldron as a best way to peacefully calm down. As for Harrison he was suppose to be just a small mention in pre-war diary but for some reason my brain pushed it forward and i really don’t mind him as an extra OC. Besides Lucy needs someone to watch over her. 

Allllrighty, Harrison time:

K1. Does your OC have to keep their paranormal aspect (PA) a secret from general society? If so, how? I.e., they can’t discuss their abilities, they have to hide a tail, they have an alter-ego, et cetera. What would happen if society found out about it?

Yes, he has to hide his powers. He is one of a kind and experiment never got finished so his powers are something no one seen before. I’m sure that lab is still buried somewhere near Sanctuary deep in forests containing old data and so on but the place got abandoned and no one found it yet. I can imagine tho that the cryo vault could have been like a last remaining section cut off from the rest as it also was touching a subject of immortality...i mean..a way of not aging. Usually the green smoke will always rise from his body and eyes at times so he prefers to hide his face under the hat and keep fully covered body with that long brown coat and thick gloves. Also he doesn’t look very friendly so it helps him keep folks at distance before they notice something unusual. I can’t imagine how people would react if they knew about his powers but they for sure would be just wary and scared i think. And all in all he has a synth skeleton so more hate from most of the Commonwealth population. He also needs to keep his emotions at check as his powers are driven by a strong sense of desire so if he would really really want to harm someone he would have harder time at controlling his powers before they snap. That’s why he is always so...stoic and calm.     

K3. Does your OC have any friends who know about their PA? Any enemies?

Lucy suspected before and she has a memory from childhood, then she finds out herself on a go and Gage also knows because he was present during the event. Later on she tells Lizzie and Chip Morse because she needs help to repair his synth broken body due to how the...separation came out. Harrison doesn’t tell anyone else unless its necessary. The only enemy out there would be the lead scientist if he somehow survived the bombs and is still out there, looking for him. 

Also...i didn’t mean to make it like that but its just how it came out due to most...common and fast thought design. That lead scientist had grey hair and wore a black mask on half of his face....and that would make the air even more rotten between...someone particular out there :)) 

K5. Does your OC feel isolated or unrelatable due to the experience their PA brings with it? If so, how do they deal with it?

He does feel lonely since he is too afraid to meet new people or even spend too much time in a bar. He would mostly stick to lone table in a corner, being too afraid on not controlling his powers if his mind and emotions lose breaks. He was a family man, not perfect father but still, getting that taken away and changing your life 180 degrees can sometimes upset him and the only way to cool down is just to stick to people he can trust which is Lucy and her gang. Its his only family now. He doesn’t push away the idea of trying again, meeting a woman, making a family, being a better father but is just too scared of that. Also he doesn’t need much sleep as normal person so...this doesn’t help him either.   

K6. Does their PA cause issues in daily life? I.e., if they’re inhuman in a human universe and they can’t go to a doctor or risk the doctor realizing they are not human, super abilities with physical drawbacks, they don’t have control of their abilities and must keep to themselves, et cetera… If so, how do they feel about it?

It causes him a lot of issues. Despite hot weather he still needs to keep his clothes on to not reveal the power radiating from him. His hat always in crowds, even inside the buildings to not risk shining with his eyes too much. Shades can help tho at times. But people might find it weird, accuse him of being another synth and attack him and that would cause more problems because if he snaps people will see his powers. He needs to keep his head low all the time and just act as a shady dangerous mercenary, out of unnecessary questions and troubles.

K7.Does your OC’s PA affect their dietary habits so that they are unusual or problematic by their society’s standards?

Even if he actually doesn’t need to eat he still will because he isn’t fully synth but just himself in a form of soul trapped in such a body. His eating habits are still the same as they were but..he might overdo his craving at times...eating like a kilograms of food just because he remembered it was his favorite and he wants it now and he will feel the taste and satisfaction but because his stomach isn’t human he doesn’t feel when he is full so....yeah. Eating whole cart of cotton candy at one go. It might feel weird to people who don’t know him but he is a big man so they might assume it’s maybe because of his size...and just being freaking hungry.

K8. What are some routines, if any, of self-care that your OC must engage in that are not typical of their society? I.e., having to file their teeth, maintaining magical rituals, drinking blood…

He needs to meditate like a lot to keep his powers better contained and controlled since they sync with his mindset.. Sometimes he will do it for hours, be it standing, siting, he will just disconnect and meditate.

K9. Does your OC have knowledge that they can’t share with the rest of their world that could improve it if it didn’t cause chaos? I.e., a character from the future knowing about technology not yet invented, but they can’t reveal themselves by sharing it

He is the only one knowing the location of the lab but he keeps that knowledge only to Lucy. He can’t imagine what could happen if they would create armies of....entities like him. Being able to inject soul from body to body could solve a lot of health like issues and give a hell of disabled people new chance but you can never know what direction this could go. 

K10. Would your OC give up their PA if they could? Why or why not?

Even if it ruined his life he wouldn’t give it up. He lost his family not because of who she became but because he was fucking irresponsible by taking his son to work and killing them both. His wife was furious and refused to take him home again even if she was freshly pregnant that time. His powers allowed him to protect her anyway without her knowledge and because he is at age he is, these powers still keep him as a extremely dangerous man able to fight. Even if giving it up could give him a better chance of starting a family again he prefers to be able to protect these that are still left in his life than failing or die trying. So he is over the grief and learned to live with how he is, accepting his powers and putting them to good use. 

#rockshortage #fallout #ask meme #lucy feit #harrison #hell yeah i did it #not everything is very detailed but i think i again got all of dem right #and oh boy i was happy with that K section #if anything still needs details you can poke me bout them #thank you! #it kept me busy and happy after work

[neversidefaerie]

Some light on the situation with Joye...

Who is Joye? She's a girl who has Lyme's Disease and Bipolar Disorder, the latter of which caused her to act abusively towards others in the past, but she has since reformed. She feels a strong connection with the character of Shadow Weaver in She Ra and is a big supporter of the idea of SW getting a redemption arc. She has strongly rejected the widely held notion that Shadow Weaver abused Micah and has found much evidence to suggest that instead they had a healthy friendship. She has also criticised many people who made the assumption that Shadow Weaver had no trauma to cause her to become abusive, drawing attention to how Shadow Weaver's most dangerous spell going wrong affected her mentally and physically. She is also an Entrapdak shipper, much like myself, and very active in the She Ra villain fandom.

She is a strong Christian, but is heavily critical of many beliefs and attitudes found in conservative Christian culture. I personally found her to be a very tolerant, non-judgemental and open-minded person, who never resorted to bullying when arguing her points about either faith or fandoms.

With these things in mind, I will now go into the controversy that caused her account to be deactivated (I am uncertain if this was an action of her own doing or if the staff suspended her).

Being a great advocate for a Shadow Weaver redemption arc, at some point she made a friend who also supported the idea. This friend had created a lesbian love interest OC for Shadow Weaver. I'm not exactly certain what happened, but at some point I believe that this friend asked Joye to draw her OCs in a romantic context. Joye didn't want to draw this and somehow this led to the friend concluding, due to her Christian beliefs, that she was "homophobic".

Another problem arose from one of Joye's ships: Shadow Weaver and King Micah. Joye believed it was only appropriate to see their relationship as romantic if Micah remained widowed and was well over the age of consent. I still personally never liked this ship, but I appreciated her efforts to provide circumstances for it that she thought were justifiable. Eventually, however, she stopped shipping them altogether.

As someone who previously supported a problematic ship (Lydia and Beetlejuice) but had decided after a while it was better just to see them as friends, I have undergone this journey myself. I remember how repulsed I was when I saw artwork depicting Lydia as a minor kissing BJ - I thought the relationship was only appropriate if Lydia was well over eighteen. Likewise, Joye had disapproved of people shipping underage Micah with Light Spinner.

The ex friend began accusing Joye at some point of supporting a paedophilic ship, even though Joye had only supported the ship in a more appropriate context and later disavowed it altogether.

The third controversy stems from a conversation on a post somewhere, which is regarding a scene in which Shadow Weaver is sick and suffering and Catra acts apathetic towards her condition. From what I can gather, the ex friend thought Catra's behaviour was justified because of SW's abuse, but it upset Joye, because she has a chronic illness and didn't like seeing Catra (or anyone) mistreat a sick person for any reason. The ex friend thought that Joye was saying that Catra was being abusive towards Shadow Weaver and took offence to this.

I befriended Joye after she placed a supportive comment on an Entrapdak post of mine, in which I detailed a discussion I'd had with a delusional anti-Entrapdak who was convinced that Entrapta had been made to look underage as a form of fetishism. I soon went onto Joye's blog, where I struck up more conversations with her and we quickly became friends.

After her ex-friend started spreading information about the three preceding controversies, it caused Joye a lot of stress, especially since the ex-friend is very angry and spiteful towards her. Joye once said to me that the irony was not lost on her of the fact that this ex-friend was willing to advocate for war criminals to receive redemption arcs, yet believed someone guilty of alleged homophobia was unforgivable and deserved no respect.

I firmly believe it's never acceptable to harass or mistreat others, no matter how wrong their viewpoints are. It just causes the said person to think that the fact they're being attacked means that they must be doing something right. Also, I firmly believe it can make you a worse person than the person being attacked.

I also testify that Joye is not a homophobe. She did not express any hostility towards LGBT people and even openly condemned violence and persecution towards queer individuals. Perhaps your mileage may vary on what constitutes a homophobe these days, but I honestly do not think she qualifies.

Ultimately though, you can believe whoever you want to believe. I am just saying what I think is true, deduced from my interactions with Joye and my perusal of the ex-friend's blog. I can take pictures of my conversations with her if anyone needs proof of what I'm saying.

If the ex-friend or any of her supporters see this post, I want them to know this: I don't want a fight. And neither does Joye. Virtually everyone's mentally ill or mentally disabled here on Tumblr, and I can safely say that most bloggers don't want the added stress of getting involved in a big argument, which may be why Joye is currently offline.

There's enough problems with harassment in the Entrapdak community without there being in-fighting amongst the fans of She Ra villains. Joye is a good friend and I want her back on this site. I would also like her ex-friend to reconcile with her, but I don't know how possible that is.

Anyone who is a friend of Joye or thinks I'm telling the truth, please use the hashtag "#we support joye"

Thank you for reading!

#we support joye #she ra #spop #she ra and the princesses of power #peacemaking #friend