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thesimperiuscurse · 3 years

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08.04

It’s The Kingston Legacy’s sixth anniversary, so here’s a throwback post to celebrate! Last month I forced myself to reread the entire legacy, and while I stopped, clicked off the tab, and emitted a soundless scream of pure cringe numerous times (I wish I was kidding)—the past generations are actually not as terrible as I remember. I think enough time has passed for me to detach myself from the childish storytelling and look back in nostalgia.

Thank you to my fellow Wordpress writers who have come along the journey, some for many years now, through every high and low. It’s astounding how much has changed in the legacy from when I was 15, and 21. Follow me down the (very) long memory lane, as I reminiscence about each story and my perspective on them now ❤

Generation 1 — Fern (2015)

To my shock, I found myself genuinely enjoying Fern’s story. I think this was because the first generation was purely me commentating on gameplay, and not trying to write a story (that’s when the cringe began). I was inspired by one of the original stories, Alice and Kev, to make a homeless sim and document her struggle for a better life: Fern, a snobby aspiring writer. Reading this, a huge wave of nostalgia hit me, and it reminded me of how wonderful Sims 3 gameplay is. Although I’m long past it now, there’s real heart and life in the design. I think it speaks about the rich personalities and quirks that I could write a whole life story off it. It was super fun making Fern camp out at Old Pier Beach, stealing from townie picnics and roasting apples on the fire, finding little ways to scrounge money, giving her a makeover in the salon, watching the townie dramas unfold around her. Although she faced homelessness two times and a shitty first husband (yeah, fuck off, Xander), Fern grew into a strong and independent yet sweet and gentle character, in love with the ocean like her great-granddaughter comes to be.

I never actually addressed this, but she (and her love Christopher) passed away in the story between the end of Gen 3 and start of Gen 4. It just felt weird to make it a big deal because they never died in game—still ‘alive’ and well, scattered across different backup saves and the bin.

Generation 2 — Briar (2015)

Briar’s story was strange, because it was half gameplay and half story, which meant that there were things that just did not... make... sense. She was quite an ‘unreliable’ character to follow because of her Insane trait. The plot revolved around her as a fresh detective, investigating supernatural phenomena in Sunset Valley. Her character arc was almost the opposite to her mother’s: a naive, optimistic, silly girl hardening through trauma into a cold and ruthless police chief. Ash’s death was the one moment I felt true sadness in this legacy, because he did really die. Imagine me actually getting emotional over my characters, lmao. Wild.

Also, Max is OP. To this day he is one of the best male characters in my legacy, a healthy and supportive best friend (to husband) in stark contrast to the following generation.

Fallen Angels — Cherry (2016-2019)

Yes. It’s this generation. Square the fuck up, Cherry. I will fight her any day. Old readers will know of my pure hatred for this story. It’s been about two years since it thankfully ended. My verdict now?

It’s not quite as horrifically shitty, Gabriel and Lilith being a lot nicer than I remembered (Gabriel’s only a bit of a dick at the start), but it still has glaring problems, such as the pacing and clumsy handling of sensitive topics. The story would have been far nicer if it focused less on Cherry and Luc’s relationship and their respective issues, more on the found family and her relationship with Gabriel (which was rushed due to me despising the story by that point). During the first chapters, I was cringing spectacularly at the combination of Luc’s initial jackass behaviour and Cherry’s whining. Toxic as FUCK. I had to skip 3.8 and 3.9 entirely. These two (because of my own shameful mistake) tainted the generation in my eyes, and even though all of the characters grew from their toxicity, I can’t really see past that guilt to the better parts of the story.

Jade has been telling me for years that this story isn’t all bad, and upon forcing myself to reread, I can see what you mean. I’m sorry LOL. Something that pleasantly surprised me was the writing quality (just the prose, not the actual story mechanics... lmfao), and Raphael, who made me smile every time he appeared. Every single careless, sarcastic line of his was a banger. The pictures are something else I like, too. Many of them stand up to the best ones in En Pointe—the fiery, gritty, industrial tones of Bridgeport just hits different. The world was rich and immersive, which is missing at the moment in En Pointe because of me being too lazy to build a proper Los Angeles world, but Act III is set in Boroughsburg so I’m excited to get back into the city scenes. 17 year old me wasn’t mature enough to tackle dark themes, but at least the visuals for them were nice, I guess. The atmosphere of the story I really enjoy. It’s just the toxic characters and way-too-angsty moments that ruin the whole thing for me.

En Pointe — Evangeline (2019-)

And here we are now! The early chapters are kinda painful to read because 1) Mako looked so ugly and 2) the dialogue was so clumsy and generic. I sighed in relief when Chapter 5 came around, because it was then both of those aspects really began to improve. Eva’s voice was simple, with her punchy remarks, much less romantic and descriptive than Cherry, so it was interesting to see her voice becoming more complex and layered as I more understood her character. Also, me visibly struggling with the natural lighting and only getting a handle on it 7 chapters later has me shaking my head.

I’m already beginning to identify issues with the story, mostly with character arcs and pacing. It’s a strange combination of fast pacing (spanning half a year in 8 chapters) and Eva becoming surprisingly comfortable with Mako’s touch due to their unusual pas de deux circumstances. It’s curious how real life time actually played into the pacing of the story—because of the slow publishing schedule, less time has passed in the story as real life, so it’s almost as if the time jumps were made up by real life time, making the jumps feel not too strange. Reading consecutively, however, Evako’s relationship growth doesn’t feel slow burn... a little underdeveloped, in a way, despite their lengthy conversations. I think that’s because of Mako being such a reserved and mysterious character, and that I’ve unconsciously come to rely on Tumblr to give more depth to the characters/relationships. Luckily, pretty much everyone who comments on the story also follows me here, so this dual-platform storytelling is okay, I suppose. I want to post more of #Mishako since there just isn’t enough time to explore their bromance in the story!

At the moment I’m not happy with the story, but it’s fine. I’m learning. There’s more than half the story to go, which means plenty of time to reflect upon the issues and improve. I’m really looking forward to Eva and Mako’s character arcs in Act III. At the moment their relationship is based on their natural chemistry and respect for each other, and since they are yet to face trials their bond isn’t super deep, but Evako are still my favourite couple in the legacy thus far, and feel much more real than any character I’ve written before. It’s been very interesting for my aro ass (and being way more logical than emotional) to figure out a dynamic that is actually compelling to me, because most of the time when I look at romance I’m just like 😐🤨 I’m liking it so far but we shall see how everything unfolds, because I have barely any idea what’s going to happen beyond Act II, lmfao.

That’s it for my incredibly long throwback! I hope it was at least nice for the OG readers, and interesting for anyone else who managed to battle through this essay, haha. This family has been an integral part of me growing up, as a person and writer and artist (what I’ve developed in visuals I apply to architecture), learning a great deal of awareness about real life through story research, which is pretty cool now that I think about it. I’m aiming to finish En Pointe by the end of 2022. I’m excited for what unexpected changes are to come!

#wordpress is being annoying like tumblr right now #they're trying to sneakily integrate the new site design into the old #pretty sure a lot of people don't like the new one #why can't i view media by month #now i have to scroll through a million pictures to find old ones #why is it selecting several when i just want to open one pic #fuck youuu #anyway #very busy week #lilaremonn #thesimperiuscurse

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randomfandom815 · 3 years

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Defending the women of LOST/Sexism in LOST

People say they don’t like Kate Austen because she’s “annoying” “can’t choose between Jack and Sawyer” “always wants to join every single mission”. Kate has way bigger things to worry about than sorting out her romantic feelings. Yes, she is developing feelings for both Jack and Sawyer, but she doesn’t have time to figure them out while trying to survive on the island. And the fact that people don’t like her because of the whole “I’m coming with you” thing is a little ridiculous, because they’re hating Kate for wanting to protect her friends and do whatever she can to help. You know who else does that? Jack. But plenty of people love him for those very same reasons. Yeah, a lot of Kate’s character was centered around the love triangle, but that isn’t the character’s fault, it the writers’s.

Then there’s Claire Littleton. People always complain about her “my baby!” thing, but... she only actually says that a few times, AND, if your child was taken from you or you thought your child was going to be hurt, wouldn't you be worried out of your mind? Wouldn’t you want to do anything to help them? People also criticize Claire for her entire Season 6 arc. She was alone, on the island, thinking everyone had abandoned her, with only the MIB for company. She was also tortured by the temple Others, who she thought had taken her child. Claire was a single mother who just wanted to keep her son safe, give her a break.

Sun-Hwa Kwon is a character who actually doesn’t receive that much hate, but there is still the fact that people don’t like her because she left Ji Yeon to go back to the island for Jin. Here’s the thing: Sun had no way of knowing what was would happen on the island. She had no way of knowing that Jin had time traveled to the past, and she had no way of knowing what would happen with the MIB/Locke. She thought that she would be able to go to the island, bring Jin and the others back, and the two of them would reunite with Ji Yeon. And then in the submarine incident, Sun didn't want Jin to stay. She wanted him to live and take care of Ji Yeon. It was Jin who made the decision to die with her, not Sun.

Shannon Rutherford is a very unlikable character. Even I don’t enjoy her character, or Boone, and that is a view shared by many other people in the fandom. Many people call her selfish, spoiled, and just plain rude. And she was all of those things, but that wasn’t her entire character. Remember, they had all just been through a plane crash, landed on an island with no chance of rescue. Also, friendly reminder that she was only 20 years old. She was scared, and her way of coping with that was to try to do something normal. Let’s not forget, in Pilot, Part 2, she volunteered to go on the mission to fix the transceiver. She was constantly feeling useless, and it didn’t help that other characters, especially Boone, were constantly putting her down and mocking her. When she started to see Walt, she genuinely made an attempt to help him, even though she wasn’t sure if he was even there. Her death was untimely, and I wished we had gotten to see her grow more as a person. Also, her death was used for shock value and to further Sayid’s character development.

And now, one of the most hated characters of LOST, Ana Lucia Cortez. Now, while the characters I mentioned above were shit on and criticized, Ana Lucia was absolutely hated by the fandom. People hated her attitude, her toughness, her dislike of most of the people around her, and the fact that she killed Shannon (who, by the way, was just as disliked by many Ana Lucia haters). You know who else has a similar attitude? Who has that same toughness and dislike of people? Who else killed someone? That would be Sawyer, a fan-favorite, white male character who is beloved by the fandom. Now, for the last point, what I am comparing here is Ana Lucia killing Shannon to Sawyer killing the man he thought was Frank Sawyer in Australia, right before flight 815. Ana Lucia killed Shannon because she was trying to protect the people she was leading (including Sawyer!) from who she thought was the Others, and killing Shannon was an accident. Sawyer killed the man completely on purpose and out of revenge. Oh, and it wasn’t even the right person. Yes, I am aware of the man Ana killed long before flight 815 out of revenge, but if we can take her very small amount of character development, in which she refused to kill Henry Gale, a known Other at that point. Whereas Sawyer was still willing to kill a bunch of people in Season 6, the end of his character arc. And yet, Sawyer is still in most people’s top five characters lists (just to be clear, I do not hate Sawyer at all, and this is not anti Sawyer but pro Ana Lucia). You may argue that people love Sawyer because of his character development, which I do agree with. However, Ana Lucia was never given the chance to have Sawyer-like character development because she was killed off in the same season that she was introduced in. She wasn’t even allowed to be in the church in the flash-sideways, and she didn’t get to “move on.” Ana Lucia deserved way better than the death for shock value that she got.

Next up on the list is Juliet Burke. She, like Sun, also isn’t the target of a lot of hate, but there are still things that need defending. The first thing is, of course, her sudden change of mind when it came to detonating the hydrogen bomb in Season 5. Yes, it was selfish of her to endanger everyone on the island just because of the way Sawyer looked at Kate. But if the plan did actually work, which she thought it would, that meant she would lose everything she had gained over the past few years, including Sawyer. Juliet is incredibly kind and feminine while also being badass at the same time, which is amazing because you don’t usually see those two traits coinciding (usually a badass character isn’t very feminine and a “traditionally feminine” character isn’t a good fighter). As for all of her motives in Season 3, Juliet was trapped on the island for three years. All she wanted to do was leave and go home to her sister. Yes, she manipulated Sun, but right after that, she made things right by helping Jack make a plan to stop the Others. Her death was heroic, and I’m glad she was finally able to be happy in the flash-sideways. (I am declining to mention her whole relationship with Goodwin and all the drama with Ben, although I might dive into that in another post).

Now, the character Rose Nadler has almost nothing that needs to be defended. She is a constant wise voice of reason who isn’t concerned with the drama of the rest of the survivors. Her relationship with her husband Bernard is very sweet, but she doesn’t let that stop her from doing the smart thing (like stopping his SOS sign idea). Not only that, but Rose has one of the best (and most meta) lines on the show: “If you say live together, die alone to me, Jack, I’m going to punch you in the face.”

Another character who doesn't need much defending is Charlotte Lewis, but not for the same reason as Rose. Charlotte was done dirty by the writers. Of the science team, she is the least fleshed out and explored. She had a single flashback and a little bit of exposition information from Ben, but that’s pretty much it. Every significant thing she did was for the sake of other characters. She had a fake-out death so Ben would reveal that he had a spy on the boat. She was taken to the Barracks so that members of Jack’s group would have a reason to go there. Her going to the Barracks was also an excuse to get Miles and Kate there. And she only died/was dying for shock value, to up the stakes of the time flashes, to provide more questions to the characters and the audience, and to further Daniel’s character development. In the flash-sideways, all she did was go on a date with Sawyer and further his character development. She didn't get to go to the church and move on. Daniel and Miles, the other members of her team, on the other hands were given compelling backstories and centric episodes.

Penelope Widmore is similar to Charlotte in that there isn’t much to defend because she doesn’t do much that affects the plot. Nearly everything she does is about Desmond, and the writers barely even gave her a personality. I’m sure Penny was an actually interesting person, if they had bothered her to give her any storyline that didn't involve her love interest.

Danielle Rousseau is a character that kind of slides in and out of the story as needed. Now, Danielle isn’t the subject of a lot of criticism just because she isn’t very focused on, but from what I have seen, here’s what I have to say: Danielle was alone on the island for sixteen years. And for sixteen years, she had to live with the knowledge that she was forced to kill the man she loved and her team. Not to mention the fact that her daughter, Alex, was taken away from her when she was just a week old. Can you blame Danielle for being paranoid? Her death was not a fair end to the character, and it was only used to kill off Danielle quickly and provide shock value.

Her daughter, Alex Rousseau, is similar to Charlotte and Penny in that she doesn’t need to be defended because everything she does is to affect other characters. In this case, those characters are Ben and Danielle (especially Ben in the later seasons). Danielle’s entire character is centered around the fact that she lost Alex and has been searching for her, and Ben’s motivations after Season 4 are largely motivated by Alex’s death. She herself doesn’t have much of a character arc, and her death was only to provide shock value and further Ben’s character development.

Another character that falls into the category of not having much to defend because every action is for someone else is Libby Smith. Once the tailies and the main survivors joined together, she was almost immediately shoved in a relationship with Hurley. The only things we knew about her backstory were that her husband died, she was a clinical psychologist, she was in the same mental hospital as Hurley, and she gave Desmond a boat. That’s it. She didn’t have a centric episode, and she only appeared in other people’s flashbacks. Her death was only to provide shock value and further Hurley’s character development, as well to show that Michael betrayed the survivors.

Notice how many of these women died for shock value and/or to further a man’s character development? Notice how many of these women are disliked for traits that other characters are loved for? Notice how many of them barely exist as their own character without a man? I love LOST, I really do, but their treatment of female characters needed a lot of improvement.

#lost #lost tv show #abc lost #lost tv series #fandom sexism #sexism in fandom #kate austen #claire littleton #sun-hwa kwon #shannon rutherford #ana lucia cortez #juliet burke #rose nadler #charlotte lewis #penelope widmore #penny widmore #danielle rousseau #alex rousseau #libby smith

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twentiethcenturymoviesandtv · 3 years

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The Goonies: A Product of the Times

Released in 1985, The Goonies came along right smack in the middle of a decade well-known for its movies centered on youth. While there are plenty of fond memories of the ‘teen oriented’ films like The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Adventures in Babysitting, Hollywood of the 1980s was focused on more than just the teenagers: it was also pretty heavily focused on what it was like to be a kid.

From Flight of the Navigator, The Explorers, and The Monster Squad to E.T., the Extra-Terrestrial, a lot of the films of the 1980s were about the adventures of people under the age of 14: children. Ranging from sci-fi to comedy, to horror, to adventure, the movies about kids during this decade of the new and untested were getting as big as everything else: more and more impressive as an entire subgenre of children’s movies starring up-and-coming child stars (Drew Barrymore, Fred Savage, River Phoenix, Corey Haim, and plenty more) sprouted up out of the ground, playing the gambit of genres and allowing children to act in ways that hadn’t been deeply explored before. These weren’t adult films with roles for children: a lot of these were movies about kids.

Instead of movies like The Champ or Aliens, starring children in side roles, films like The Goonies, Return to Oz, Stand By Me, and Time Bandits starred kids in the main roles, carrying the stories themselves with incredible performances, broadening the horizons for adventure films about kids, for kids.

Such is The Goonies, a film that really could only have been made in the 1980s.

How do I know that?

Simple.

As we’ve discussed before, no film ever made is separate from the culture it was created in. Every single movie, television show, radio broadcast, book, newspaper, comic or song ever made has been directly impacted by the culture and other pieces of media surrounding it.

This seems pretty obvious: after all, a product made by people living in a certain kind of culture is going to reflect that culture. No film is an island, and while that seems pretty self-explanatory and without much need for discussion, in an era with more and more pieces of media debated as to their worth to a modern viewpoint, it leaves those of us who enjoy older movies with a very important question:

How ‘dated’ is too dated?

It’s not as easy a question to answer as it might seem.

See, ‘dated’ is an interesting term.

Typically, the word ‘dated’ is used to apply to anything discernibly created in a specific time period. It’s synonymous with ‘old fashioned’, when applied to a film, it carries the implication that the movie is less understandable by those looking from outside that particular culture or time period, worsened by the cultural drift. This would be a film that hasn’t ‘aged well’, most often describing contemporary films of the day. By contrast, a film that’s considered ‘timeless’ is the exact opposite: a film that remains completely understandable following a change in the culture. This is a film without a cultural footprint or identity, without any actual context, able to be enjoyed no matter how much time has passed.

These are words that get thrown around a lot in the film world. There are plenty of arguments over which films are timeless, and which are dated, whether Die Hard shows its age too much to be enjoyed, or whether Commando is too ridiculously ‘80s to be watched in any other context, but the fact is, the argument is a lot more complicated than it seems to be boiled down into.

We’ve talked a lot about definitions, but the fact is, by strict definitions, no movie, or any piece of media ever made, is actually ‘timeless’. Every film is a product of its times, but that does not mean necessarily that they are defined by their times. With this in mind, films like The Terminator and Predator, while set and made in the 1980s, are not exactly dated, because they are not defined by the 1980s. Anyone with the slightest understanding of the idea that times change can accept things like hairstyles, music changes, and special effects. Like I said, a film is considered ‘dated’ if it is less understandable or enjoyable in hindsight, from a place outside of that specific culture, and things like the movie tips and tricks of decades past are fairly easily forgiven.

Less easily overlooked are ideas.

If a ‘timeless’ film is a movie not defined by its own times, then a ‘dated’ one is a film that is defined by its culture, typically in a negative way.

So, the question is: which is The Goonies?

Timeless iconic kid’s adventure film, or dated ‘80s flick?

Well, it’s kind of hard to say at first glance.

By externals, there’s no question. The way the kids are dressed and Mouth’s use of the word ‘gnarly’ pretty clearly set this film in the mid 1980s, as does the fact that nobody has a cell phone to call their parents. But as we’ve already established, there’s a bit more to it than that.

The cast is fairly typical of its day: all white except for Rosalita, the Spanish-speaking housekeeper, and mostly male. The two female Goonies do allow for a little more range than is sometimes portrayed in kid adventure films, with a Tomboy and Girly Girl dynamic that normalizes more than a standard Token Female per group, and even Mama Fratelli (although by no means a role model for young girls) balances out by being a memorable villain, bringing the gender ratio a tiny bit closer to even than a lot of contemporary films. With that said though, there isn’t really anything that I’d argue idea wise in this sense that dates the film terribly badly, aside from a series of fat jokes at Chunk’s expense and a moment where Andy is given the unfortunately expected treatment of having her date try to look up her skirt, which was considerably more shrugged off at the time (although she does get him for it later, offscreen).

And there are other elements too that indicate that this film is from a different time:

A PG in 1985 for a kid’s film was very different from a PG now, and it shows. The language used by a lot of the kids, as well as the violence, drug jokes, and other material has proven to shock more than one fan who went back to watch The Goonies as an adult. And that’s not all: the basic concept of kids banding together in this way, while making a resurgence in the form of Stranger Things, hasn’t really stuck around for very long.

After the 1980s, the ‘band of kids’ adventure story somewhat died out. By the 1990s, the ‘kid’ adventure stories calmed down, with lower stakes and less danger, and while the trope still appears in ‘retro’ nostalgia pieces, for the most part, we simply don’t see it anymore, and the idea still tends to bring to mind stories like Stand By Me, The Monster Squad, and even It.

It’s just a statement of fact, and not nostalgia, to look at this film and remark: “They don’t make them like this anymore.” Because they don’t.

In most movies today, kids don’t run around in tunnels, having a blast and looking for buried treasure without their parents or any adult supervision, with their lives in danger, all the while quirky, peppy music assures the audience that everything’s going to be okay. That’s not necessarily good or bad, it just means times have changed, and that the way that The Goonies was made was directly influenced by the types of movies coming out at the time.

However, while that style may bring to mind the 1980s, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s specifically enjoyed in that era.

As a matter of fact, there’s a lot about The Goonies that’s like that.

The basic premise of the story, while not necessarily common anymore, is still understandable to people decades later. Just because we no longer dress or talk like 1985 anymore doesn’t mean that the core essentials of the film are rendered completely unrelatable. Kids still become friends and don’t want to move away from them, that much is understandable. Even though the style of filmmaking has changed, the characters really haven’t: we all know a Data, or a Mouth, or a Chunk, or a Mikey, sometimes we even are one of them. Kids understand the danger they’re in: not just losing their lives, but their homes, their friendships. These characters and their story still ring true decades later, even if there are things about it that point to its creation being set in the mid ‘80s.

In short?

No, The Goonies probably couldn’t have been made today. But that doesn’t mean it can’t still be enjoyed today.

There’s surprisingly little that actually harmfully dates the film itself, and the film is, in many ways, just as exciting and fun as it was when it was first released. Honestly, there’s the possibility that due to the lack of movies like it made today, the film actually has a larger impact and is more unique and memorable now than it was in 1985.

And while the quality of the film has not shifted, as the time around it does, I think we’ll find that as the film gets older, more audiences will continue to discover it, forty, fifty, sixty years later and find that the movie still tugs at a nostalgic part of them and makes them feel like children again.

The Goonies is a fun, exciting, charming story that has remained beloved so long partially due to nostalgia, but also because people genuinely love the story and characters, proving that a film is ‘timeless’, not because you can tell what decade it was made in, but because it has endured, because people still enjoy it after the culture has changed.

If you can watch The Goonies and love these characters and enjoy their adventure, it doesn’t matter that Mouth is wearing parachute pants or that some of the character cliches haven’t been used in thirty years. In the end, a film’s quality has little to do with how easily we can tell what time the film was made in, and a lot to do with what it’s about, and how well people remember it. If that’s the criteria, then The Goonies is pretty timeless.

The Goonies has lasted this long as an ‘80s staple, and an adventure movie classic in general because no matter if it’s 1985 or 2085, people can understand it, enjoy it, and relate to the characters and themes. And that’s the reason it will continue to endure.

It’s been over thirty years since those kids first trekked into the caves to save the Goondocks, and the audience for this film has done nothing but grow since then. The characters and the heart of the film have gone unchanged since then, still entertaining and even touching audience members who remember what it was like to be a kid and want ‘their time’, and they will continue to endure for decades.

Thank you guys so much for reading! If you have something you’d like to add or say, don’t forget that the comment box is always open! I hope to see you all in the next article.

#The Goonies #The Goonies 1985 #80s #1985 #Film #Movies #PG #Adventure #Comedy #Family #Sean Astin #Josh Brolin #Jeff Cohen #Corey Feldman #Kerri Green #Martha Plimpton #Ke Huy Quan #Richard Donner

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gooobert · 3 years

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YOUR DOMESTIC FELIX HEADCANONS. HAND EM OVER

DOMESTIC????? ;)

Alright!! SO I'll try to keep these hcs related to a unisex S/O (so you can insert any character in, like male/female [his gf, or any male/female surv]). This excludes killer dynamics bcos killer x surv just. *vomits*

But that's just my opinion ;))) when it comes to domestic Felix...

I'll take it in a couple of spins, all of which will focus on an 'after/escape The Entity' type of au. If you're also interested in a version that includes a general "pre-Entity" tidbit, I'd be more than happy to provide!! Just ask!!

In Felix's case, it's going to be something like his disappearance at Dyer Island being for a potential 1-3 years (depending on the life of this game going forward), so it's safe to assume that in all of these headcanons, his girlfriend is going to have moved on with her life, especially in regards to care for his now-alive child. You can still insert her into the headcanons if you wish, but realistically (imo), they would be separated.

Felix is actually more than understanding when it comes to his girlfriend moving on - the disappearance was something of a red flag, but authorities attributed it to a workplace accident/stress, or potentially even commitment issues - the restoration project along with the news of being a father isn’t a foreign recipe for a partner just up and disappearing. Felix's girlfriend wasn't exactly aware of his Imperiatti past - which can be summed up by the organization's secrecy, or Felix's repression of his former trauma - she never connected the dots when it came to his familiar clientele. She moved on, had their child, and even began seeing another man. Felix couldn't blame her, especially with how difficult it is to be a single parent. He feels a strong sense of empathy when it comes to that topic, especially when it was just him and his mom after his father’s disappearance.

It's not exactly clear - the whereabouts of Felix's mom, in present time - but I like to assume that he would move back into his former home, the Richter manor, and try to piece his old life back together again. He is able to regain partial custody of his child, and he is introduced to... his daughter. Before The Entity, Felix initially hoped for a son, so he could be the exact father figure he desperately needed when growing up (after all, he spent plenty of time in the realm thinking about how he would be the perfect model for his “son”), but he wouldn’t trade her for the world. It comes almost as a shock when his daughter prefers to play with more “masculine” toys and gets into a lot of the hobbies he enjoyed as a kid - especially reading/storytelling. She’s not exactly old enough to read books on her own, but Felix won’t hear the end of it unless she gets her nightly bedtime story. He fabricates fables and tales about people he met “from work,” and their various trips to foreign and unfamiliar realms. He can’t help but see the same face of wonder and skepticism that he used to have, just like when his father told him similar stories in his youth.

Felix also has this taut outlook and anxiety when it comes to raising his kid. Anybody is expected to be stressed over their first/only child, but Felix’s former worries and lack of social development drives him to be a parent that wants to teach his kid how to be independent as soon as possible; so she could have all the skills she needs when she’s older. He was privileged enough to live in a household where he never needed to cook, clean, or handle anything financial when he was growing up - everything was done by either the manor’s maids or his parents. Knowing the fear and self-doubt he had back in his early 20s, he is super serious about being there for his daughter. His other half may think he’s being a bit dramatic and a “helicopter parent” with how stressed he is, but he just wants to make sure she can hold her own in case an unfortunate circumstance ever did occur - it was an all-too-familiar threat for Felix when he was growing up; especially when he still desires to set an example for his late father.

The times when the German architect does “calm down,” he does his best to be there for his daughter. He’s got a nasty habit of spoiling her and his loved ones with gifts, despite being conscious about his wealth. Splurging on such activities/gifts gives Felix a sense of relief, where he can see his little girl raised with an innocent, positive childhood. One would assume he might be even jealous over her adolescence, but he’s just thankful he could be there physically and emotionally for his kid, and stop the painful cycle from ever reaching her. As much as Felix wishes he had his dad in his life to guide him, he takes it as a learning experience that made him stronger, and more deliberate and genuine with his parental responsibilities.

His parental approach is more about empathy and reasoning, and prefers to treat his little girl as a smaller adult rather than just a kid - he tries to soothe any of her anxieties about friends and school, but without sheltering her from the reality of the world once she’s old enough. He won’t admit it, but having her feel brave enough to confide in him with her personal issues/thoughts is his favorite part about being a father. He might have lost his father at a young age, but at least he can act as a mentor to his own child. It reminds him he’s doing the “right thing,” and this bond was what he dreamed of having in his youth. He can’t help but feel sentimental!

The Entity left Felix with more questions than answers, and as much as he wants to find out the mystery behind his dad, he decided that it was time to move on. The timeless years spent in The Fog gave him severe trauma, and he’s lucky he was able to resume a relatively normal life - a second chance to be there for his daughter and his S/O. He went into the realm to voluntarily search for his father, and he wasn’t able to uncover much during his time spent there. His partner may support him in his grief, but he’s come to understand that his feelings of loss may simply never go away - he’s just going to have to live with them. For him, his loss still feels like a fresh wound, but it’s not going to get any better than it is, currently. Felix wouldn’t consider himself hopeless, but he’s left with a sense of acceptance. He needs to be there for his new family, and he would rather be focusing on the domestic chapter in this new part of his life than reminiscing on the past. He did it long enough with The Pariahs before they disbanded, and he’d rather learn to live more in the present than caught up in the past.

If he doesn’t have custody over his kid, Felix is spending a majority of his time at work, where Lauren gladly takes him back into their architectural firm. He’s left with a lot of trauma from the trials, though, so it’s not unusual if he can’t make a business meeting or show up physically to work. He still carries his occupational responsibilities, but there’s just certain aspects of his old life that he could never get acclimated to doing again. He’s afraid of turbulence (the shaking and rumbling of the plane is too similar to the endgame collapse) and if he NEEDS to be at a business meeting/networking event, he has to leave early since the drive, of course, takes a lot longer than a flight.

When he is able to find some time alone with his other half and not feel any work pressure, they like to treat themselves to a vacation getaway! Even if it’s for a weekend, he takes holidays depending on if they need time to release some energy by doing something strenuous (skiing in the Alps) or maybe unwinding with something romantic or a new experience (wine/artisan goods). Felix isn’t the best with his words, and so he likes to show PDA to his partner when they have time together. Rather than asking, he simply does - a peck on the forehead when he gets ready in the morning, adjusting the clothing/jewelry on his spouse, or even just mindlessly rubbing/massaging his hands on their back. He knows how it feels to be touch-starved, and likes to make it a conscious effort to show his love through constant reassurances when his words fail.

#WHERE DID MY MOTIVATION GO #as soon as i asked for messages in my inbox i just :))))#motivation gone :)))#but i hope these are good!!!#AND IN CHARACTER!!!!!#ty for the ask bby ilysm #dbd #dbd headcanons #felix richter #ask

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carsonstcne · 4 years

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— && guests may mistake me as ( wolfgang novogratz ), but really i am ( carson stone + cis male + he/him ) and my DOB is ( 11/26/1997 ). i am a ( hockey player ) and would like to stay in suite ( 308 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( confident & loyal ), but i can also be ( impatient & guarded ) at times. personally, i like to ( play video games, watch espn & do facetime calls ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( trail mix ) to have in my suite. thank you for checking in! ( nessa, est, 21 ).

tw: mentions of sports-related injury, surgery/rehabilitation.

so, yes, it is nessa bringing back on last character who happens to be a hockey player for the nhl !! if you’re interested in plotting with this guy, please dm here or on discord !! i’ll be linking his pinterest board and full bio here once they’re done, but hopefully this suffices for now.

the first-born of the stone children came into the world with a bang -- a couple of weeks earlier than planned, in the middle of the night, screaming his tiny lungs out as soon as he'd left his mother's body. what his parents didn't know at the time was that the manner of his birth would be indicative of what they should have expected from him in general. from a very young age, he was always pushing to do things sooner than he was expected to -- trying to sneak out of his crib, starting to walk before learning to crawl first, reaching for objects and almost knocking a number of things over his head -- he was curious, energetic, and drained his parents' energy as they ran around after him and tried to keep him out of trouble. it was a wonder they decided to have more children after what he put them through. perhaps they'd hoped that another kid would give him someone to play with at home and give them some time to themselves.

the day his baby sister was born was the day carson deemed as the worst day of his life. he grew up in four bedroom, three bathroom house with the perfect yard in east grand forks and enjoyed life with his parents and the family down the road. the stone clan lived extremely comfortably due to dad being a well-known generational farmer and mom a world-renowned chef to be reckoned with. to say the stone children grew up spoiled would be a safe and accurate statement.

carson loved having his parents' attention all for himself -- a bit of a greedy shit right off the bat, but he loved genuine affection and love. in fact, the boy was lucky enough to have that with two families: his own and the one down the road. his mom was best friends with the pretty neighbor lady with the pretty daughter who was close to carson’s age. the two had been forced on play dates as the two mothers lived their dream and promise to raise their first borns together.

when his sister came into the picture, carson felt as though he was now boring, unwanted, and worst of all, replaced. he despised the baby girl from a young age and oddly enough, the neighbor’s daughter didn't seem so bad anymore. a very long story short, a friendship and admiration grew between the two over the years while carson tried to not resent being a brother.

it wasn't until his sister's first crush broke her heart when she was seven that carson felt any real 'brotherly' feelings towards his sister. he likes to think that he was empathetic with her, but it wasn't that. it was more so that he did care, but there was opportunity for him to help her, protect her, and threaten the little shit that rejected his sweet sister. that started the hero complex and co-dependency issues that he and his sister share.

life was pretty easy for him, he was always pretty much a good kid who was raised to be polite to others and also just be himself. fortunately, since a young child carson had the type of personality that just drew people into him and he got along with everyone. caron’s interest in hockey would start at a young age, when he’d find himself simply tuning in to the many hockey games that his parents played around the house -- to the point that he easily memorized positions and the players.

since he lived so close to the university of north dakota, he used to go the university's hockey games as a little kid and that's how he found a love for hockey. it was one of the few things that kept his attention and carson just knew he was meant to play. carson was one determined son of a bitch. as soon as he got the idea to be a hockey player in his head, he stuck with it. as a child, he begged his parents to put him into a kiddie league and they ultimately said yes.

hockey was something that carson poured all of his energy into. his home life was filled with homework and watching his sister, but hockey practice was where he could be freed from all of that. he lived for practices and games for that reason alone. hockey has always been one of the very many steady things in his life. growing up, carson wasn’t exactly a star student in his classes. he was smart, but not in a conventional sense. if you asked him the quadratic formula, he would look at you like you were speaking a foreign language. however, if you asked him about who won the stanley cup in 1998 and the player statistics of that year, he’d be able to essentially recite a wikipedia's worth of information without any hesitation.

to avoid the extra-curricular tutoring that his parents insisted he needed if he was going to go get into a good school, he headed for the rink. the year carson turned thirteen, he made his town’s youth hockey team, preparing himself for the dream of making the nhl in a few years time. his small town team took home the championship the year he was named captain. “he’s the strongest center i’ve seen in years”, noted one of the coaches. it was the height of carson’s teen years. he was invincible -- eternally youthful. his parents stressed that he couldn’t rely on his body or physical prowess to carry him through life; your mind was the only reliable tool you are given. because they didn’t want their son to neglect his grades, they set out new rules: homework must be done on the way to and home from the rink, at least, and he had to help out around the farm once a week. even though they wanted carson to keep up with his schoolwork, his parents were the most supportive when it came to hockey. they cheered him on at every game, allowed him to get the best equipment, and even created a hockey rink in the backyard for him to skate on when the roads were terrible during the winter months.

2013 was a whirlwind year. before then, carson was just another small town boy with dreams of going to “the show”. there were plenty of bull-headed, ambitious boys that were willing to work for it, ones better than him, they said, but they didn’t have the heart he did. there was nothing more important than following his dream -- not prom, not exams, not girls, not friends. carson was that boy, the one with no plan b. people would roll their eyes when he missed another party or had to reschedule a test because of practice or games. but those same people were in the stands, cheering him on through every goal and assist after he made the “brandon wheat kings” and could finally say he was in major junior league. how fast he made captain surprised nearly everyone, except him, of course. sure, carson’s parents shoved university brochures down his throat every chance they got, but so did everyone else. “hockey isn’t a concrete career carson, you have to have a backup plan” rang in his ears, but instead of discouraging him, it spurred him harder. in every news interview, he was prepossessing -- with dark hair, maturity, and experience oozing out of every word. whether it was an act or not, it looked good. this wasn’t a dream, it was a pending reality. the charming, big-hearted boy matured into a courageous, focused, but still bullish, young man those seasons.

since he wasn’t eligible to be drafted just quite yet, carson decided to leave the major junior league to attend boston university and play for their hockey team. allowing him to continue his studies while still being able to play hockey. when he was a freshman, he suffered a very serious knee injury while on the ice and in front of scouts. carson had been so focused on wanting to be a nhl player that he didn't even care how serious his injury was -- as all he could really think about was how he blew his chance at impressing scouts, even though his injury wasn't at all his fault and a freak accident. however, the one good news that he got was that, once he'd healed from his surgery he could resume playing again, so it wasn't like it was completely over for a chance for him to one day accomplish his goal.

it took a little while and some extra hard work, and after going through a lot of physical therapy, by the age of nineteen, carson was a first round draft pick for the washington capitals and was officially a professional hockey player, just like he'd always wanted. hearing his name called for the nhl draft was almost a distant memory; the memory muddled like a far off dream. in reality, it was a binding contract that said where to be and when, a hefty salary with strings attached, plus a shiny signing bonus. his knee must stay healed and solid or everything would be snatched away, no pressure. even still, they must have enlisted a wide angle lens to fit his smile in the frame. his friends cheered him on from their screens at home, understanding why the boy was always on the go, had time for no one but himself, still bore a heart of gold. carson was on a plane that night, flying out to america’s capital, and settling into a hotel that would be his home for almost three months until he secured housing downtown. that year he spent busting his balls for the team that allowed him to shine like the star he was, proving himself to men ten years his senior, and adding on to his hero complex. being on a team with alexander ovechkin could’ve made carson look like an amateur, but all his hard work would pay off, as he got show the world just how great of a player he was.

seeing all of the changes in his life and the change in his personality, his parents were calling almost every night to tell him that it wasn’t too late to back out of the nhl. his sister constantly asked him if he was doing okay. his rehab doctor occasionally emailed with concern about missing physiotherapy appointments. carson rarely, if ever, kept in contact with any of his hometown friends and found himself feeling more distant from them than ever. leaving his girlfriend of four years to start fresh. this was a new life, it was serious, this was adulthood. they would only interfere or pull him off track, and one injury had done that enough already. no one was slowing him down now, a pig-headed boy, and he didn’t know how to stop even if he wanted to.

he became quite a popular player throughout the league, leading the league in goals. despite putting up career numbers in goals and assists, he became a household name from setting a record for most minutes in the penalty box. carson tended to be a pretty physical player, bumping people from behind or hitting them into the boards. he’d been suspended on more than one occasion, which would make him be considered a dirty player. many players weren't too keen on his style of playing. but it never deterred him, he loved the physicality of the sport, the sheer amount of strength and endurance it took to keep up.

off the ice, some would likely say that carson is the type of person who'd be hard to miss in a room. when he was younger, he used to be louder, thinking that would grant him the attention he needed, but as he's aged, he's honed his people skills more and relies on his charm and intelligence much more than the volume of his words (but he can be loud, it's the sort of ability you don't lose with time). he's confident to the point where he can be considered arrogant, tends to be a perfectionist, and rarely (if ever) caves in once he's made up his mind. he's very energetic but gets easily bored with things, unless they truly catch his interest. along with that, the tabloids wanted to make him out to be this bad boy villain that he wasn't. he tried to ignore it, but the more he ignored it, the more the rumor mill ran wild. he just didn't understand why he couldn't just play hockey and not have to deal with the rest of the bullshit. sure, he has had some one night stands and hook ups but no where near the amount that people have claimed in the past. some girls he hooked up with in the past have sold him out to the press. sold photos of him sleeping or something along those lines just because they contributed to his "bad boy" image.

if carson’s hockey career couldn’t get better, it most certainly did when the washington capitals won their first stanley cup in his 2nd year with the team. so then he became a stanley cup winner, playing beside his favorite players, hanging with his friends, drinking more than he should, risking more than he should, loving more than he should. a mix of contrary traits and confusing quirks that defined his life as a hockey player.

it was the season after carson’s most successful season yet. his dedication and award-winning attitude landed him on center ice, staring down jeff carter across the center line. after the referee blew his whistle in the third period, carson saw nothing but black. a hard hit was a hard hit, but this was more -- it was personal. a grade ii separation of the acromioclavicular joint, also known as a shoulder separation. it could have been worse. his mother swore she saw his clavicle hanging from a thread, but that was just hearsay. it didn’t matter what she said, he were benched. his chirps before the game had gotten him in deep with a teammate from los angeles. he told carson to stay home and that he was just a pretty boy. but that’s exactly what he wasn’t going to do. six weeks of recovery, three months of rehab -- no one could take this away from him. was carson resilient, or just stupid?

lightning doesn’t strike twice, and carson’s journey to play for the washington capitals would prove to be difficult. before he got to get anywhere on the ice, he was a glorified locker room attendant, basically. it would have taken a miracle to get any playing time. his first few games back were difficult. carson was desperate to get play time and there just wasn't any chance for him to get it. he worked so hard to get where he was that he felt stuck. people kept telling him that it would happen soon. well, soon would never be good enough for him. commentators and sports analysis were saying he wasn’t as good as he used to be. which left carson feeling like he was under a microscope at all times. in addition to that, he would learn that while he loved the sport, being a professional athlete also meant you were apart of a business -- so, as a great as he was, it didn't stop him from being traded to a different team just a few years into his career. from washington d.c. to chicago, he was traded at just the blink of an eye.

as a washington capital, he worked his way to becoming an alternative captain which is why is hurt him so much to be traded. he thought that the team would be his team for years and they just traded him off like nothing. and sure, his performance wasn’t the best but he had one bad season after his best one yet. so carson was a little mad because he didn’t think he deserved to be shipped off to a new team.

now he’s in the windy city, looking for a new start in his hockey career and decided to stay at the malnati for the time being. he’s still feeling a little bitter about being traded so early in his career, but realizes that he still has the privilege to play. he’s been in the city for only a few months and is hoping to restart his career and life.

plotting

carson may come off as a jock... well, he is a jock, let's be honest here, sport is a huge chunk of his identity and it's also the reason why he can't stand still for too long. the boy has a lot of energy, it needs to go somewhere and what better way to use it than slamming into some people on the ice? he's loud, blunt, occasionally rude, he doesn't look for the attention on purpose but he draws it because of his demeanor.

carson has never had a hard time befriending others. in school, he was a troublemaker and an athlete -- a mix certain to get you popularity. but even now at twenty two years old, he isn't afraid to make himself look an ass to entertain others. he's never been shy and can talk to just about anyone.

carson is the kind guy who schmoozes his way in and out of every conversation, effortlessly gliding through social situations with confidence and style. his time on the ice has served him well, glowing in the spotlight but also having some grace to share it with nineteen other people. most of his rivals are deliberately trying to see him fail. he’s nothing if not a team player, as cliche as that is. he’s a natural leader and wants everyone to work together towards ultimate harmony. when you're out partying, he’s the guy that takes charge and decides what bar you’re going to. he’s always been someone who has been pretty free-spirited and marches to the beat of his own drum. he has quite the charming and engaging personality, he practically can get anyone to do anything but he's far from the manipulative type. half of the time, he uses his charming ways to get his friends to let loose and be as care-free for a moment as he tends to be. however, he's not someone who is too careless, he knows when to have fun and he knows when to take things serious. carson is someone who's going to be loyal to his friends, he's going to treat them like family and he's going to be there for them, no matter what they're going through and it doesn't matter if he can relate or not.

he cares about the people he has in his life and is a genuine, sincere, sensitive dude. always the boy who leaves his heart on the ice after every game, stands up for what he believes in, and is an unadulterated good person at heart. unfortunately, he tends to be so harmonious that he becomes influenced by others’ attitudes. if he’s around dicks, he’s going to act like a righteous, self-concerned asshole, if that’s what everyone else is doing. the insecurity of being young and impressionable, especially now with the spotlight shining a little brighter, tends to make him want to meld into the people around him. the weakness of his knee and shoulder caused him to become more anxious and protective of his reputation and abilities, coupled with the feeling that his parents are waiting for him to fail so he can pursue a more “realistic” path. he knows what he’s good at and has a hefty dose of confidence and ambition in him, but he can come off condescending and arrogant in the same light. ultimately, a true people-person who sees the good and wants to shed light on it, but sinks deeply into insecurity and fear if he feels vulnerable. but no matter how much he tries to put on a “hockey bro” aesthetic, he’s unabashedly a naive, soft-shelled boy who doesn’t know any better than to trust everyone means well.

not that carson has had a lot of time to date, with practices every morning and/or evening, and games every weekend, but the desire is there. throughout high school, when relationships were plentiful and bound to blossom, he was preoccupied with his sport. he did his fair share of complaining that he didn’t get that same teenagehood that his friends did, but then again, most of them played too. girls and dating came second to the game, refining their craft and honing their skills was more important. maybe not in their hearts, but in their heads, and for carson his head ended up winning more often. it was almost cut-and-dry that he would put his potential career over a relationship; one was up to him, and one was completely up to chance. in his heart of hearts, he is a sensitive, emotional dude who feels deeply and knows the clock is running on the rest of his life that he’s neglected in lieu of furthering his career. if there’s one thing that might subdue his parents' restlessness about him making no real “concrete” life decisions, it would be bringing home a girl that actually stuck. if he could avoid heartbreak for life, ensure that a girl would never come between him and his goals, then it would be in the cards. remember the pretty girl who was his neighbor as a little kid? when she came back into his life the summer of his junior year, it wasn’t supposed to be a long-term thing, just a summer fling. something to get his mind off of his impending career decisions, a “break” from the action. but, the only thing that takes more time than a relationship is a breakup, so somehow between her controlling, over-dramatic insistence that he pay attention to her any time he had a chance to breathe and carson’s innate desire to be independent above all else, they made it work for four long years. though, once he got into the league as a rookie, he had broken it off in favor of “enjoying his youth” (may or may not have been influenced by his old teammates) and was living the playboy years that he never got to enjoy when he was a teen.

since coming to chicago, he has dated off and on. there's been nobody serious, but i could see him dating someone for a couple months at max. he's a little distracted by everything going on in his career, so he's not completely focused on finding someone, but he's also not opposed to it. he's just not sure what he wants, and he's still so young that he doesn't feel like he needs to worry about what he wants quite yet.

the blackhawks are a really important part of his life, he sees them as a family of sorts and he does his best to be in their good books. he's one of the resident idiots and troublemakers because on top of cracking dad jokes, he tends to jump into any stupid idea that comes up (he also gives a lot of them) and he's been known to play pranks on some of his teammates, especially when they're away for a game.

wanted connections

his childhood best friend and ex girlfriend, olivia “ollie” im -- you know those childhood best friends that parents comment how cute they’d be together? yeah, that was ollie and carson when they were little kids. at first, they didn’t get a long considering they were set up by their mothers. however, over time they became close friends. like family, even. ollie moved away when they got to middle school, but he always thought about her throughout the years. when he saw her for the first time during the summer, he was quite in shock since he thought he’d never see her face again. when they started their relationship, carson played in canada with his junior team and then they continued their relationship when they went off to separate colleges. they kept their steady long distance relationship, and he was faithful to her despite all of the difficulties they faced. it was when he was drafted in the nhl that caused a rift in their relationship. his calls were less and less, which left ollie feeling like she wasn’t a priority anymore. i’m requesting her because of how interesting their dynamic would be to explore.

his little sister, amelia -- as mentioned, carson here has a little sister that he’s pretty close to. he played his big brother role of helping by stepping in and help take care of her when he needed to. without a doubt, he's all about family, he loves and is very protective of each and every single one of his family members. he's a pain in their asses, but he loves them loads and he'll go out of his way to try and help them out if they need it, even when it's something he has no idea about.

work out buddies -- working out is something that carson is really into, so i'd love to have a person or two he works out with regularly and they just shoot the shit while they do it, try and motivate each other, and cheer for each other when they get a new personal record in. overall, he's very much into sports, so anyone sporty or athletic he probably could have crossed paths with.

pet buddies -- carson is looking to get a dog, so maybe he befriends some other pet owners? or walkers. he’s looking to get a coonhound, and they’re an extension of speed and need all the time outside.

sports fans -- since carson lived in boston for a bit, baseball became another sport he liked to watch. the red sox are his team. give him some baseball fans to argue with, to rejoice with, to get into a fight with for some silly arbitrary reason.

lingering feelings -- i've also had this idea of a friendship that fell apart because carson fell in love with a guy and then didn't know what it was, so he ended up being a complete ass about it. he was the first guy to really bring him any sort of awareness to his sexuality, and carson was rough on himself at first as he came to terms with that. it wouldn't have gotten anywhere but they might still be on ends because of it and it might be fun to play with, so hmu if you're interested!

in all honesty, carson’s open to quite a bit! he'll have connections with anyone through the malnati. maybe some fans or something too? like super fans that are really into him might be cool? i'm just spit balling with that. i'm also sure there will be plenty of people that are just annoyed by the thought of him because y'know there are some people who dislike the blackhawks for very valid reasons. feel free to throw something at me, i'm game to try anything!

#malnatiooc #malnatism #malnatiintro #i have been working on this for hours FSDHFFSF

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kanashiba · 5 years

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GAY MANGA/MANHUA - TASTE EDITION

Like Manga/Manhua? Like Gays? Like Wholesome, healthy relationships? Then I got ya

None of my recommendations depict relationships that are toxic, or that rely on harmful tropes that so often crop up in many these stories, and they're also pretty tame in their depiction of sex acts (and if there is a sex scene it’s between two consenting adults).

So working from left to right top to bottom, here are some of my recommendations and a little bit about why they’re cool (and as @peachylixir and @acoustickitten asked, I’m tagging you guys so you see it!)

19 Days: Old Xian really wrote an ongoing masterpiece. It’s funny, it’s cute, but it also throws the occasional deep moment were you realize the author really understands what it means to be gay. Reading it as a mostly gay sort of man, it really resonated with me. The characters are also complex and multidimensional, and they come alive throughout the series.

(Old Xian is referred to as female, but often depicts themselves as male and uses male pronouns, so I suspect they might understand first hand the difficulties that come with being LGBT)

Tamen De Gushi: This one is by Tan Jiu and you’ve probably seen it on Tumblr. It stars the cinnamon roll Qiu Tong and the Futch Icon Sun Jing. It’s amazing. Again a lot of the things I’ve said about 19 days also applies to Tamen De Gushi.

However, instead of Yakuza parents, it’s Basketball competitions, and the softer narrative is reflected in the comfier style the characters are drawn in. But again, funny, cute, characters that jump off the page. (And it has the wonderful Upperclassman Xuezhang and oblivious Qin Xiong, who will never not make you smile)

Ikumen★After: CUTE GAY DADS! This one is wholesome off the scale. It stars two dads and their adorable kids. One of the dads openly identifies as gay and the other realizes along the way.

It’s genuine and heartfelt and the charters will bring warmth to your soul. Also, both of them always put their kids first and try to be amazing dads, and that’s a recurring theme (i.e. they remain good dads throughout). It’s a bit of a slow burn, but it’s written in a way that makes sense and is true to the characters, altogether an amazing read.

Canis Series: This one was interesting. I kinda enjoyed it because both characters help each other grow, and even though it’s love at first sight for one of them, he makes sure to put the other one’s needs and growth ahead of that.

It’s also the only one on the list that depicts sex scenes, but they wrote in a way that’s very authentic and funny (neither character has experience with men). The way they navigate sex is very healthy, with plenty of open communication, and it made me smile. (The character does his research, get’s himself some fleet, and they work up to going full hog. Also when the bottom wants to stop, the top stops and they cuddle, perfectly content, and it’s painted as a positive thing, which it is!)

I Hear the Sunspot: HEARING IMPAIRED GAY! Okay, this one was amazing and I think it changed me the most. It’s a romance but one of the main characters has a significant hearing impairment.

A lot of the manga focuses on how people with hearing disabilities or who are deaf have a different experience to those who can hear, and how it affects their lives and relationships. I found it incredibly interesting and learned a lot.

It’s incredibly sweet and it’ll change you’re understanding for the better!

Hoshi Dake ga Shitteru: The art style is cute! It’s quite short but very sweet. Oh and one of the leads is openly bisexual! He’s also colorblind, which features into the story a little bit. It’s a fun read, and I’d recommend it, I just wish it lasted a little longer.

End Note: I’d recommend starting with 19 Days and/or Tamen De Gushi. Both can be found translated in full on Tumblr, and are probably the most accessible for people getting into manga (especially those used to reading left to right).

After that, I’d go for Ikumen★After if you want fluff, I hear the Sunspot if you want something a bit more serious and complex.

If you need a crawler I’d recommend the Tachiyomi app, and the Mangafree, Manganello, and Manga Rock catalogs (that’s were I get most of my manga from)

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laufire · 5 years

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Some things I’ve received during my hiatus, and that it’s related to some worrying patterns I’ve seen recently on tumblr, have made me want to clarify a point. I’ve debated whether to put some of it behind a cut, since +1000 is on the longish-side, but fuck it. I think it’s important --or at least, important that you know this about me--, it makes me angry, and you’ll just have to scroll past it. And it’s a topic I’ll probably talk more about in the future, since it genuinely concerns me, even if not specifically in the same way or focusing on the same things I do here, so you might wanna be mindful of that *shrugs*.

I do not give a single fuck about whether B*llarke is “problematic”, or toxic, or abusive, or “immoral to ship” in any way. And the same can be said about literally every pairing. And if you ever try to harass anyone with those arguments (or any other, but I hope that goes without saying) --including shippers of my NOTPs--, I guarantee you, you won’t have me on your side.

Sure, I don’t like seeing it (and plenty of other ships) on my dash; that’s what filters are for. There are ships whose existence I prefer to ignore in its entirety, and I plan on forgetting them for the rest of my life.

In BC’s case, in particular, I –obviously, if you’ve read this blog– don’t want it to become canon. The way I see it, it’s a crack-ship (and not a very interesting one, AFAIC) between a character I like and a character I dislike, that’s entirely based on misrepresenting canon. Why would I care? But IMO the writers dislike the ship itself, so why would I worry either?

On top of that, I’m rooting for Bellamy’s narrative to be the dominant narrative (not as much for Bellamy himself –thought that’s a nice bonus–, but because it inevitably benefits my favourite characters: Raven, Murphy, Emori, Echo and Octavia), and the show has proven that’s antithetical to Clarke’s narrative prevailing (there’s a reason why every single season has put them at odds, in ways that effectively risk each other’s happiness, health and life). Historically speaking, things don’t end well for male leads that are put in romantic situations with women they haven’t chosen and put moves on by their own accord, and there’s plenty of evidence in canon that Bellamy doesn’t see Clarke in a romantic light –and it’s telling that, in fact, the writers CHOSE to cut out the one moment that could’ve hinted at it, back in season one.

Lastly, as I said, I think the writers themselves dislike the ship; not just aren’t interest in writing it, but actively dislike it. The first piece of evidence (if you plan on ignoring everything they’ve said about it, which already backs this opinion) is, frankly, that it hasn’t happened. Ships well-liked by the writers and supported by the narrative happen fast; lightning-fast in some cases. They likely don’t stay together, because narratives tend to follow a path of separation before the last-minute endgame (which might not happen; endgames aren’t a guarantee, even if there clearly are ships with better odds than others; BC, IMO, is the LEAST likely endgame possible out of all of them), but you better bet that dude is making his interest known ASAP.

Of course, writers in all of history of TV have written ships that they disliked, or at least ships that they only saw as filler and not “endgame material” (though I’m struggling with remembering another one that has the writers feeling so apathetic tbh). So yeah, there’s a very, very small chance of it happening, sure.

But have you ever tried to write a romance for a ship you hate? You probably haven’t, because the very idea it’s ridiculous. But imagine if you had. You would have hated every minute, I bet. And I don’t think any fans of that ship would find your story even remotely satisfying. Professional writers are exactly the same.

Even if the writers felt so worn down that they decided to go for your ship (which, IMO, would be a giant warning sign on itself; it’d be a mere symptom of their disinterest on their own story, and the show would be on its lasts breaths), what makes you think it’d make for a good story? They would half-ass it at best (and probably use it to troll you, out of spite), it would never get the genuine ~feeling that their preferred ships enjoy because, well. They don’t want it. They don’t believe in it. You can’t write with passion about something you don’t believe in, and passionless writing sucks literally every damn time.

And even all that? All that play-by-play essay I just gave you about why I don’t like the idea of canon BC? That still isn’t enough to make me hate on the ship. This can be said about plenty of ships across shows, books, etc., and I don’t talk about any of them because I don’t even remember them after I’ve moved on to the next thing.

But you know what I hate about BC? ITS FUCKING FANDOM.

They’ve proven to be one of the most dishonest ship-doms I’ve ever encountered, and probably one of the most numerous at that, which obviously only makes them worse (one day I’m going to talk about how these type of ships seem to attract assholes that know they can get away with shit due to the numbers and the attitude of those fanbases, but that’s another story).

Their numbers allow them to control the narrative within the fandom (and since canon doesn’t support them, they’ll outright lie about it), to the point were dissenting voices are ignored, disbelieved, and actively ridiculed and silenced, even when we’re pointing out actual scenes that support OUR reading and contradict THEIRS. They routinely act like characters like Echo or Raven don’t matter, while in fact feeling threatened by their relationship with Bellamy, and go into their tags full of condescending concern-trolling or outright hate. They harass other fans that dare to disagree with them, and they harass the actors and the creators of the show on a semi-regular basis.

A.K.A., they’re hurting real, living human beings.

There are hundreds of “toxic” ship out there (and am I the only one who, thanks to fandom, feel like many of these words have completely lost meaning? I truly hope that I am) that I never think or talk about, even if *I* personally didn’t care for or disliked them. By virtue of their small numbers (since a lot of those ships tend to be fringe interests in the already fringe medium that is fandom), most of the shippers usually mind their own business and simply go on with their lives, which I find to be the right attitude. Shipping (and character/show-stanning) isn’t activism, it’s born out of the fucking opposite impulses, IMO. Fiction is a place to explore anything and everything we wouldn’t even imagine doing in real life; there’s a reason why horror is such a popular genre, ffs. (and that’s mainstream, which means it has a bigger outreach and potential real life consequences (even if they don’t happen the way people think they do; fiction mostly reflects and maybe reinforces reality; it can’t create anything out of thin air). I cannot stress how few people read fanworks and how little they impact the real world).

If anything, those shippers have all my sympathy, because 9 times out of 10, THEY are the ones getting the brunt of the harassment. Like, I don’t give a single fuck about Reylo in one way or the other, to name one example (I’ve only watched TFA, which means I’ve missed the ~meaty part of their relationship, for one; but even if I remedied that, I thought both characters were deeply uninteresting, and I find KR painfully unattractive inside and out, so it’s likely I still wouldn’t ship it); but I’ve seen how its shippers got sent anti-Semitic slurs and gore pictures and were compared to school-shooters, and how its antis have effectively shielded a confessed rapist in their midst (and all that without getting into the general pattern of harassment/violent threats/suicide baiting that plagues the purity culture movement in this site; I can send you sources, if you don’t believe me), so those antis can go fuck themselves, tbh.

THAT shit is what I take issue with: hurting actual people. That’s ALWAYS going to matter more than the feelings of some fucking fictional construct, and I can’t believe that somehow became a controversial opinion. Bellamy or Rey or whom-the-fuck-ever doesn’t exist, they can’t get hurt, and the idea of their “feelings” taking precedence over the well-being or real people is fucking insulting.

(btw, don’t bother with any “but what about THIS gross ship/type of ships? you support THAT too?“ I’m not going to answer that and make myself a target for that bullshit, and I think this post proves this situation goes a little beyond something as clear-cut as “support” or “condemn” --among other issues, who am I to “aproove” or not any ship wtf--, but if you mean “are you against people who like it being attacked because their interests in fiction somehow prove they have ~nasty morals?”, then the answer is a resounding “yes”. What the fuck do you know about their life anyway)

#fandom policing #purity culture #anti culture #fandom #shipping #my thoughts #talking to the void #t100 thoughts #the 100 #long post for ts #antibellarke for ts #(... whenever I write a long post i become Very Aware of my attention & processing issues but like. how do you write otherwise lol)#bitter lau tag #fandom vs. activism

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ladyloveandjustice · 5 years

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Fall 2018 Anime Overview: Continuing Series- Golden Kamuy Season 2 and Banana Fish

Golden Kamuy Season 2

If you enjoyed the first season, this is pretty much more of the same, so check out my review of season one to know what to expect.

Though I guess you could say this portion of the season DOES lean even harder into weirdness than the first one did. There’s not many anime where you’ll see two dudes having the time of their lives modeling fashionable outfits made out of human skin, which include...crotch appendages...only in Golden Kamuy y’all.

Interestingly bizarreness tends to overlap with queerness a lot in this season and its hard to know how to feel about it. For instance, it’s definitely an unexpected revelation that dudes are attracted to Lieutenant Tsurumi like whoa.

IDK apparently he’s a catch. Half of his subordinates are in love with him. It’s handled as comical and of course the dudes are mentally unbalanced weirdos (as is everyone in Golden Kamuy except Asirpa and Sugimoto only sometimes) and one of them dies, but the show is never overtly mean to them either. Nobody acts disgusted about it and when one character observes the attraction, he basically shrugs about it.

Satoru Noda apparently also REALLY loose with his fixation with dudes muscles with this part of the story, to the point we got the beef-cakiest hotsprings episode I’ve ever seen, which includes an extended fight scene where the male characters were naked throughout. There’s also an entire scene where apparently otter meat is an aphrodisiac that causes the dudes to be really into each other, so they engage in nearly naked sumo wrestling.

This is all clearly supposed to be wacky and funny, but at the same time it’s pretty clear the mangaka must REALLY LIKE drawing these scenes of muscular, naked men, and I support him following his dreams. Also I won’t deny it’s refreshing to see a hot springs episode where not a single woman got objectified, but there was dude oglin’ a plenty. It healed me a little.

I guess while we’re talking about this show and its weird relationship with queerness I should reporting that my prediction was right and the trans woman I mentioned in the previous review did become an ally. Her transness hasn’t been bought up again (though for some reason the subs decided to switch to “he” despite sticking with “she” before) and her role is pretty minor, she does reveal she’s skilled in both cooking and surgery (because she likes dismembering people) and talks about how great it would be to see people murdered every so often, so pretty much more of the same.

And that’s really all there is to say. Golden Kamuy has only gotten weirder and the plot only more convoluted (I’m starting to have a hard time keeping track of the characters tbh), but it’s an entertaining story and there’s still characters with resonance and heart underneath it all (the scene where Sugimoto discusses his trauma from being in the war with Asirpa genuinely tugged a heartstring. These two are still great and have really settled into a kinda of adorable dad-daughter dynamic at this point) and the historical and cultural research that went into this story is still amazing.

I can tell the anime’s still skipping a lot of the manga (most of volume 7 was completely skipped), but since the English release of the manga is so slow, I’m happy to watch it in the meantime. It helps that the show has a bangin’ soundtrack and and it managed to pull its ginormous cast together for some truly exciting and action packed final episodes that left me eager for more.

Banana Fish (13-24)

Again, if you read my review for the first half of the show, you can basically expect more of the same, both with the good and especially the bad parts. We do get more downtime with Ash and Eiji’s relationship, and they continued to make me think this show would be so much better if it focused more on these quiet scenes rather than on piling as much trauma on Ash as it possibly can.

I think this second half did allow me to see what was compelling about Ash and Eiji’s relationship and why it’s stayed with so many people. When Ash explained that he’s finally found someone who will love him without expecting anything in return, so of course he’s willing to do anything for that person, that got me in the heart. Ash is someone who has either been viewed as a threat or someone to exploit- he’s especially used to being treated like he’s nothing more than a body, a receptacle for desires. Eiji isn’t afraid of Ash, or in awe of him, and never asks anything of him other than for him to be okay and by his side. Ash genuinely can just be a dumb teenager with him while he can’t with anyone else. Eiji is an outsider, to Ash’s gang-bangin’ world, to his culture in general, and that allows him to see Ash as he truly is, just a kid who needs to get out of this mess.

The romantic in me really loves that concept, and as an ace person, I especially connect to the underlying implication that Eiji is a romantic partner who isn’t going to demand sex from Ash or try to force him into it. Though Ash’s implied desire to avoid sex almost certainly stems from trauma, I know how he feels in a broad sense. And I think it’s a thing a lot of women can relate to even if they aren’t ace, wanting to find a relationship where they aren’t used or objectified, so it goes back around to how Ash acts as kind of a representation for the anxieties and desires of (likely) the mangaka and many women despite being a male character, and I still find that very interesting. The scene where Ash has a complete breakdown and screams at his rapist while laughing hysterically was really affecting.

So there’s moments of real resonance here, but is it worth the bullshit surrounding it, which includes every single gay man being represented as a rapist, to the point a gay bar is connected to a child porn ring? The nasty implication that gay sex is inherently evil and non-consensual, and Ash and Eiji’s relationship is only okay because they’re not doing it is very strong, and as much as this ace appreciates a romance that doesn’t require sex, I don’t want it THIS way.

There’s also some SERIOUS anti-Semitic bullshit that I can’t believe MAPPA didn’t edit out in a couple episodes. Like it would have been so easy to cut. Also some more pretty rough scenes of black men being murdered (they’re extras this time at least, and the main black dude for this part of the anime miraculously manages to both survive and not be an offensive caricature. Also his name is Cain Blood which is the best name in this story, and possibly ever).

The second half of the anime also involved some of the more absurd elements worsening. I got REALLY tired of every character commenting on how hot and amazing Ash is like. I GET IT. Also Ash’s life of being sexually exploited somehow gives him the ability to seduce any man holding him captive, and every bad guy is down for raping a teenage boy, I guess. It’s actually again, a little surreal to see these tropes with a male character. I’m used to seeing hot female characters who’ve been through sexual trauma and have magic seduction powers and are endlessly drooled over...I almost want guys to watch these segments so they can see how uncomfortable it feels when the tables are turned.

There’s also some really good examples of ACTUAL jarring tone shifts, where the anime really fails to land some of its attempts at a funny, light moment in the midst of really tense and tragic situations. I think it’s possible the manga managed this better, but I can’t imagine the “joke” where Ash has to crossdress and a male doctor gropes him and Ash punches him out cold and his friends chortle and tell him he’s not a gentle woman could ever be done in a non jarring way. Like, I don’t like sexual harassment humor in anime at the best of times, but it’s especially bad when the person who is harassed has been raped more times than he can count. We’re expected to take that seriously, but not this, because Ash is in a dress? It’s also like, appalling that his friends who are fully aware of his history would laugh about him getting assaulted again. It’s a moment that feels like it comes from a completely different anime.

So um, yeah. My conclusion is those resonant moments are not worth the bullshit. The ending really cemented this for me. I had an (admittedly overly flippant) reaction that kind of sums my feelings up. Let’s just say I HATE meaningless cruel tragedy for the sake of tragedy, and I especially hate the implication abuse victims can never find happiness.

I can’t say Banana Fish is an anime I’ll think fondly of or recommend. I do still find the discussion about it interesting, much more interesting than the actual story (as presented in the anime, again, haven’t read the manga), tbh. And I can see the seeds of a good story there, and I can understand why fans would want to see a reboot that truly modernized the story, cutting out the worst stuff and giving it a better ending, while keeping the resonance of the main relationship and the good characters (I really did like Sing, and Yut Lung was interesting. Shorter and Skip both deserved way better. Also Jessica, who at least got to do something besides be victimized at the last minute. One whole female character got a few moments of agency. Hallelujah.) Maybe someday it will happen.

In the meantime, there’s a bunch of cool articles on Banana Fish that are worth a read. All of the pieces published on animefeminist as well as this post on Otaku, She Wrote are really informative, illuminating, and break down a lot of the issues I found here.

#golden kamuy #banana fish #anime overview #anime #my reviews #body horror cw #fall 2018 anime

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117--087 · 6 years

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‘Halo: Silent Storm’ Speedy Review - Pros, Cons, Etc.

To preface: After the ‘Halo 5′ debacle, I made the decision to no longer purchase Halo media in an effort to “put my money where my mouth is” in terms of my disapproval of 343 Industries’ actions - in regards to their questionable public statements, lies, and mishandling of the mainline story & my favorite characters. This also led to me to stop using the moderate platform I have established with this blog to actively announce/promote new media as well.

That said, I decided to break my streak in order to read the new book ‘Silent Storm’ by Troy Denning. As it would be the first fiction we have gotten in a while to actually have Blue Team whole, plus in a prominent role in the story. And after all that’s happened I simply had to see what came of that.

So here are some of my initial thoughts after reading the book extremely quickly. I was mostly focused on the Spartans and their characterizations, so I know I missed a lot of details about other things. When I have time to go through it more thoroughly I may make another post. But for now, the following is what I gathered...

Pros:

John is perfectly in-character throughout the book - particularly as a young man who is still a bit of a hothead. At no point during my reading did I come across a part where I thought “well he definitely wouldn’t say/do that”. He's reserved but not humorless, and genuinely cares about his Spartans. Plus there’s some very good exploration of his burgeoning experiences as leader/commander in the field.

There’s strong emphasis on the general importance of teamwork to the S-IIs. As well as how their particular dynamic truly sets them apart from other elite units. A good balance is struck between them acting in accordance with their combat training, and acting like a big family. All the Spartans pretty much talk with all their fellows freely, and there is good banter between them from start to finish.

There are a few decent glimpses at some other Spartans we haven't seen as much; such as Daisy, Anton, and Joshua.

Lots of different perspectives are shown throughout the story - from Insurrectionists, to the UNSC, and the Covenant. The cast of secondary characters/OCs are generally well done and interesting (I think this is one of Denning's primary strengths as a writer).

LOTS of technical details. Really, there’s a lot. Which I know fans of the more military-side of Halo will certainly appreciate. This goes hand-in-hand with the battles that take place both in the air and on the ground, with both ships and soldiers.

All-in-all it is a rather straightforward action story that I think anyone who likes Halo could enjoy and get into. With some decent, but not overly complex, intrigue concerning the Insurrection and UNSC navigating their ongoing feud on top of a new war with hostile aliens. And again the Covenant’s side of things is not left out either, which adds variety.

Cons:

Sgt. Johnson being such a major character in this book is a pretty huge retcon that I'm not sure I'm okay with. As it really messes with a lot of the tone of 'The Fall of Reach’ & ‘First Strike’ where the Master Chief and Johnson are very clearly framed as not having met each other before then. Their "getting to know/trust you" vibe is a pretty strong undercurrent of their previous interactions - which is hammered in even more when the Chief chooses not to sacrifice Johnson for the data-crystal info after all in the end - meant to set the stage for ‘Halo 2′. And there's really no way to get around that because I seriously doubt that John of all people would just forget the very next “mentor” figure he had in his life after Chief Mendez (especially one as distinct as Johnson). I can see why some people have said using any other ORION subject wouldn't have as much impact; but using Johnson ultimately smacks of simply wanting to have "moar fanservice" at the cost of continuity. Which isn't worth it in this case, in my opinion, because of how defined Johnson's role is in 'First Strike'.**

Kelly and Linda are generally indistinguishable from each other in personality and mannerisms. This is a trend that has gone on in a lot of recent fiction (including Denning’s previous books where they have minor roles), so seeing it again here was rather disheartening. Especially considering how fundamentally different they are supposed to be. Instead here they're largely relegated to playing the part of "token girls that snark on occasion" with different combat specs. Though Kelly's speed is woefully underutilized/under-portrayed in action sequences, in spite of the text mentioning this skill when she is first introduced. Similarly Linda is said to be "quiet and reserved" at the very start, but for the rest of the book she's essentially as chatty and expressive as everyone else. Now I’m not saying Linda can't talk or banter with her peers of course, far from it. But there are ways to portray her interactions with others that don't take away from her toned down and straightforward sort of intensity.

Denning is pretty much sticking with his notion of Fred being the "witty/funny person" on Blue Team (which is also what he did in his previous books). Admittedly this is something that didn’t sit very well with me in ‘Last Light’, and it still doesn’t now. It somewhat clashes with his personality as established in Nylund’s books and, to me, comes off as more-or-less an attempt to morph Fred into diet-Buck - when Fred had plenty going for him already to make him a likable and engaging character. This also bothers me on Kelly's behalf; as I don’t like seeing a distinct trait that was ascribed to a female character for the last 15-ish years suddenly be passed off to a male character for seemingly no reason.

While the Spartans’ team/family interactions are very well done overall (as I noted in the ‘Pro’ section), nothing and no one in particular truly stands out either. Meaning I feel like no one reading this book (especially people not already very familiar with the Spartans as characters) would know the difference between John and Kelly's dynamic, his and Joshua's, his and Daisy's, etc. And there are differences thanks to the particular histories going on here between the various teammates - such as John and Kelly being mutual best friends with Sam, John’s sort-of leadership rivalry with Kurt, etc. Granted John and Fred’s interactions do stand out a little bit, because this book does firmly establish him as the "next in line" Blue Team leader. But Fred also has the second most amount of "screentime" of the S-IIs on top of being given his humorous personality - so that makes him stand out more on principle.

I would've really liked to have seen the other Spartans actually do more. For example, Grace is present for this op; but she's only name-dropped once or twice, and never uses her best known skill (explosives ordinance) in a way that we can "see" in the text. Same goes for Anton and his ability as a scout, and so on. Maybe if the “main 3″ of Blue Team had been better defined in their roles it wouldn't matter. But as it stands there are several points where the others could've played more prominent parts. Again as an example, there is a moment in the story where Linda is tasked with setting a bomb to go off - but why was this not Grace instead? At least that would've lent itself to what we already knew about her.

...So with all that in mind, I would like to emphasize that the negatives don’t necessarily outweigh the positives. I’m just taking this time to explain my particular grievances in detail. Whereas the positives I think are best experienced first hand, and also require more overt plot-spoilers to explain. In the end the book was better than I thought it would be (granted I was prepared for the worst). And while not a great story for getting a deep understanding of Blue Team specifically, it is certainly great for getting a firm grasp on John himself and how S-IIs operate as a whole.

Though I find myself almost more puzzled than ever about something. Because while the author proved to be able to really dial-in to John’s established characterization and expand on it in ways that made sense even though this is Denning’s first time writing for him, on the other hand Kelly, Fred, and Linda were still all over the place compared to what we’ve seen of them in the past - in spite of this being his 3rd outing with them now. And not just in a “oh well they are teenagers in this book so there will be differences between this and how they act as adults” sort of way. However I have hope this issue can be cleaned up in future works, if Denning writes them. So I will forward my thoughts through established avenues for constructive criticism and keep my fingers crossed that they might help.

So while I can’t say I recommend this book wholeheartedly, it’s definitely the first Halo media in a while I can say I do recommend in general as being worth the time & money investment. 👍

(**This can be reconciled with some good headcanon/fanfiction that add just a few sparks of recognition between Chief and Johnson during the events of TFOR/FS. Though for obvious reasons I still prefer that continuity issues simply be avoided in the first place.)

#Halo #Silent Storm #S2BlueTeam #Master Chief #John 117 #spoilers #opinion post #books

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shireness-says · 6 years

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Playing the Part ch. 2: Getting to Know You

Summary: As a stage manager who's clawed her way up from bottom, Emma Swan can handle just about anything thrown her way. But does that include handsome lead actor Killian Jones? A CS Broadway AU. Rated T. Also on AO3. Prologue Ch. 1

A/N: We’re back, with my favorite Jones Brothers conversation I’ve written so far and a great Captain Swan bonding moment! Chapter title from “The King and I”.

Thanks, as always, to @snidgetsafan, my phenomenal beta. She’s the absolute best.

A disclaimer: This chapter addresses Belle's backstory, which is... less than pleasant. Nothing so bad that there need to be archive warnings, but power dynamics were definitely taken advantage of. I want to make it clear that I'm not condoning what's happened to her, and I've tried to express that in the actual writing, but I just want to reiterate it here. Just because it happened, doesn't mean I'm ok with it, or that you have to be either.

That being said, I hope you enjoy the chapter anyway!

Tags: @kmomof4, @winterbaby89, @thejollyroger-writer, @mythologicalmango, @onceuponaprincessworld, @idristardis, @teamhook, @courtorderedcake, @aerica13, @revanmeetra87, @snowbellewells, @searchingwardrobes

“... but not handsome enough to tempt me.”

God, he hates that line. Yes, it’s from the source material, and yes, it is crucial to the plot, but he always feels like an absolute dick saying it. Belle is an absolutely lovely woman, inside and out, and doesn’t deserve to hear those words directed her way, even in character.

He’s actually apologized for the way he’s acted before in character, had felt like he had to. Belle, bless her heart, laughed and waved off his apologies.

“For the record, I can tell the difference between you and your character, Killian,” she had said. “Please don’t worry about it.”

But he worries anyways. Part of it is just his nature, Killian supposes - he’s a man with a heart built for concern and mild anxiety, it seems. But Belle really does seem rather isolated, and he hates to reinforce that even in character.

He’s heard the rumors, of course - the industry is smaller than they’d like to pretend, and when word made it around that Belle French had been cast in the iconic role of Elizabeth Bennet, old gossip about the woman had made the rounds again too. It’s a horrible story, predictable in all the worst ways: young, up-and-coming actress embarks on a relationship with an older producer. Actress decides that the relationship has run its course. Actress is suddenly, mysteriously branded as “difficult to work with” and struggles to land roles.

Meeting Belle in person, it’s particularly absurd. She’s ridiculously talented and probably one of the nicest and least difficult people he knows and really, it’s not fair. There’s been an increase in accountability in this industry lately, something that’s desperately needed, but the lawyers are still focused on the things they can prosecute - obvious cases of assault and manipulation. Belle’s circumstances don’t clearly fit either of those criteria, having willingly engaged in the relationship, one she thought was based on mutual respect and affection. It doesn’t help that Gold is a major player in this game, able to affect people’s opinions for better or worse with his word alone. For the past several years, Belle’s just been left to flounder on her own with her professional reputation wrongly in tatters. For the moment, no one cares. It’s all so disgustingly unfair.

Personally, Killian thinks Belle deserves the world. He hopes this show is a massive success for a variety of reasons - selfish ones obviously included - but not the least of them is the hope that it’ll reshape the current narrative around Belle, show that she’s talented and kind and an absolute delight. She needs that. She deserves that.

Belle tells him about it herself one day over a cup of tea during one of the rehearsal breaks. He didn’t ask, not explicitly, but she must sense the confusion in his eyes and in his mind about how someone with so much sheer raw talent has been cast aside by the industry.

“He was such a gentleman at first, you know? Yeah, I was getting roles, and probably part of that was because I was seeing him, but I genuinely loved him, and him me. I knew he had a reputation for being tough and focused on success above everything else, but he always encouraged me, and was so happy when I landed roles and was doing well. So when I felt the relationship had come to a natural end, I just figured…” She pauses in her recounting, hurriedly wiping at the tears forming in her eyes. Killian tries to comfort her as best he can, digging one-handed through his pockets for a tissue as he tries to rub her back soothingly with the other. He feels so useless, so male in this situation, but he’s still determined to help and comfort her in any way he can.

“I feel so stupid some days,” Belle continues, gratefully accepting the single kleenex he was able to locate in an inner jacket pocket (and God, he hopes it wasn’t used). “I just… I should have known right away he was insane.”

Killian likes to think he’s a good friend, and a good man, but he’s also a kid who grew up in theaters and around theatre kids, and as he does his best to reassure his scene partner that she’s in no way responsible for the actions of that bastard, he has to forcibly remind himself not to smile at such a bad time at her unintentional quoting.

The stage manager, Emma, is walking past at just that moment, though, and he’s pretty sure he hears her mutter the next words under her breath, so he’s comforted by the knowledge that he’s not the only one with terrible timing and a bad sense of humor.

But again, it’s not the time to ask about it. Killian is 100% focused and committed to being a supportive friend to Belle in this moment - he’ll have to ask later. Preferably out of earshot, before they both get a reputation for being horrible human beings who laugh at unfortunate times.

But there’s never really a chance to ask later - their short break is up before he knows it, and then it’s straight back into choreography. Their choreographer, a vibrant redhead named Ariel, may have a sweet demeanor, but there’s a spine of steel underneath that smile, and Killian knows better than to dawdle. He’ll catch Emma later, he thinks, some time when he’s not needed. But even in those moments when Killian doesn’t strictly need to be doing anything but hang around and watch, waiting for his next instructions and ideally reviewing the script (it’s never too soon to be off book, after all), Swan is invariably still busy.

So Killian waits. The opportunity will present itself, he’s sure.

------

It’s been a good day, Emma is pleased to note. The sheer potential of this show is truly shaping up into something that, with plenty of polishing, just might be magnificent. There’s always going to be issues - after working so many shows, Emma has learned that off-stage drama is an inevitability - but for the most part, even the cast is obliging her by staying professional and getting along. Which is literally all she asks for. Zelena has a definite penchant to complain about anything and everything, but it’s not yet at a point that they can’t handle or that needs addressing.

Still, even a good day is exhausting in it’s own way. Emma is ready to make whatever calls are necessary (just Robin and the props guy today, she thinks), and get home. Yeah, the apartment will be quiet with Henry at Neal’s for Labor Day weekend, but she could probably use a little quiet - a chance to recharge, if you will.

However, that chance disintegrates at the sight of Mary Margaret approaching with a smile full of intent. For all her sweetness, Emma’s learned that her friend can be stubborn and determined, nigh on unmovable when she wants to be, and all the signs are suggesting this will be one of those times.

“Emma!” the petite brunette practically chirps. “It’s been so long since we’ve had a Girl’s Night, hasn’t it?”

It’s not a subtle opening at all, and Emma spots where Mary Margaret is going with this from a mile away. “Oh, I don’t know,” she tries to deflect, hoping against hope that maybe she can still wheedle herself out of these plans. “Seems like we all did something only a few weeks ago —”

“Don’t be silly,” Mary Margaret interrupts, flippantly waving a hand as if to literally shoo Emma’s protests away. “You’re thinking of that brunch date we had, the one Henry came to. It’s been ages since we had a proper Girls’ Night. And since Henry’s gone this weekend, really, there’s no better time!”

“I don’t know,” Emma tries to protest. “I’ve really got a lot that still needs doing, I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it.” It’s not true in the least. The best part about a good day is that even when she is left with things on her to-do list, they’re quick little housekeeping bits, not major crises she needs to untangle. Unfortunately, after a decade of friendship, Mary Margaret knows that too, and fixes her with an unimpressed look.

“Uh uh,” she responds, shaking her head with finality. “No excuses. I’m going to find Ruby, and we are going out. I won’t let you sit at home all lonely with Henry gone. You’re not getting out of this, Emma Swan.”

Much as Emma hates to admit it - hates to admit defeat in general, really - she’s well aware that she really isn’t going to be able to weasel her way out of this. When Mary Margaret gets that look in her eye and that tone in her voice, nothing can sway her from whatever evil plan she’s devised. For better or worse, Emma will be going out tonight. She only hopes it won’t be too miserable an outing. “Fine,” she concedes, holding up a hand to silence Mary Margaret’s happy squeal. “But I am not lonely. And only for a little bit.”

“Oh Emma, we’re going to have so much fun!” her friend gushes, seemingly ignoring the end of Emma’s sentence. “I’ll call Ruby right now, have her meet us at the Grey Lady. Oh! I wonder if Belle would want to go!”

Emma groans as her dreams of a quiet evening in drift further and further away with every expansion of Mary Margaret’s plans. The likelihood of fun seems pretty small right now; Emma settles for just hoping she’ll make it out of this alive and sans hangover.

------

It’s been a long day, but a rewarding one. His script is filled with new notes, he finally isn’t tripping over the rhythms of the proposal scene song, and his feet are tired from practicing ballroom steps over and over again. It’s a pattern he’s getting used to, day by day, but the fact still remains; it’s exhausting.

Killian is just planning to finally go talk to their fearless stage manager, see if she said what he’s 87.9% certain he heard and hopefully trudge home when Nolan practically corners him, effectively ending that plan.

“You’ve got to come out tonight,” David whispers frantically, hunched over in a way that he must think looks surreptitious, but in reality just looks awkward and uncomfortable.

“Ok…” Killian whispers back. “Why?”

“Because I just heard that Mary Margaret is going to be at the Grey Lady tonight with a group of friends!”

“...okay, and?”

“And I like her!” David hisses, seemingly insulted for no apparent reason.

“Calm down, mate, jeez. What, you need an excuse to go, rather than just showing up?”

“Yes!”

“Do I have to whisper the entire night?”

This is apparently the last of David’s patience, as he rolls his eyes and snaps out a response. “For God’s sakes, no. Now will you come with me, or not?”

It’d really be mean at this point, after all the teasing, to tell him no. Killian doesn’t really have plans anyways; he’d tentatively scheduled a call with Liam, but they can always talk later and text throughout the night.

“Alright, Dave, I’ll go with you. Where’s this place at?”

“... About that…”

Excellent.

------

Only for a little bit, she had told Mary Margaret. And she had meant it; despite all her friend’s wheedling about how she’d be lonely at home with Henry at Neal’s, Emma had been looking forward to a quiet evening. Of course, that’s all wishful thinking.

Belle had been interested in joining the outing, as had Elsa, as had their Lydia and three of the chorus girls since it seemed like Mary Margaret had invited every female member of the cast. The Grey Lady has been reduced to a cacophony of female laughter and conversation as Emma desperately tries to either escape or ignore the chaos, both efforts to no avail. For the moment, Emma’s perched at the end of the bar with Elsa trying to cheer her up, purple drink in hand (a Grateful Dead, because “you can’t just get whiskey, Emma, this is Girls’ Night, you have to get something fun.” Ugh.).

“I know you don’t want to be here in the least,” Elsa tries to cajole, “but hey, as long as you’re here, you might as well make the most of it. We can play a game of darts or something if you want, that’d at least get you out of the major crush here at the bar.”

She means so well, trying to coax Emma out of the corner and out of her funk, but honestly, Emma’s quite determined to stay exactly as she is. “It’s really fine, Elsa,” she replies. “Honestly, I’m just hoping that if I sit here and don’t move for long enough, Mary Margaret will forget that I’m here and maybe I can just slip out.”

Elsa snorts at that, which is really enough of a response on its own. “Yeah, good luck with that.” Her face still turns concerned and serious when the humor wears off as she does her best to fuss over Emma. “Are you sure? I’m happy to stay with you if you want, but if you don’t…” Elsa trails off tellingly. Emma honestly feels a little bit bad. For all her introversion, Elsa really does enjoy evenings out like this when she sets her mind to it, and Emma is effectively holding her back from having fun by insisting on being a sad sack at the bar.

“Really, Elsa, I’m fine. Go have fun! It looks like they’re starting some kind of drinking game up over there, that’ll certainly be entertaining if nothing else.”

Elsa’s eyes dart back towards the other ladies longingly, but her voice and body language is still hesitant. “If you’re sure…”

“Yes! I’ll be fine. Don’t let my attitude ruin the night, I’m happy enough with my stupid purple drink. You know I like watching drinking games more than playing anyways. Go!”

“Alright, but you’ll let me know if you change your mind and want company, right?” Elsa fusses as she grabs her drink and stands to leave. It’s a small progress. Emma nods impatiently, all but ready to push Elsa towards the other women. It must be obvious on her face though, as Elsa laughs before dropping an affectionate kiss on the side of Emma’s head. “Ok, ok, I’m gone. Do try to have fun, Emma, just find someone to talk to for ten minutes. And don’t drink too much, because I’m going to need you to lead me back home!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Emma mutters in response. She makes no promises, especially on the socializing front.

———

The bar is much busier than Killian had expected when he, David, and Booth arrive. Killian isn’t exactly sure how the last man got invited; he certainly didn’t have any part in it. August Booth is a genial enough man, however, a perfect casting for Colonel Fitzwilliam in temperament, so his presence tonight won’t be any true hardship. If Killian had to hazard a guess, David had probably invited him for more credence to his cover story that he just happens to be at the same bar as the lady he’s interested in on some sort of boys’ night outing. It seems that the ladies’ outing may have expanded as well; while Killian had expected to see Mary Margaret and Swan, it appears half the female cast is crowded into the bar as well, Mary Margaret unsurprisingly at the center of everything, playing hostess even though the bar is obviously not her house. It doesn’t take long for her to notice their own little group’s entrance, and she hurries over with a wide smile.

“David! Killian! August! What a pleasant surprise!” she gushes. Killian is amused to see that her cheeks are ever-so-slightly flushed. Perhaps David’s little crush isn’t quite so ridiculous as he seems to think. David himself looks a little struck by his lady’s entrance, so Killian quickly takes the reins of the conversation.

“Aye, it truly is. Thought we’d go out tonight, have a bit of a bonding exercise. You don’t mind that we’re here, do you? We didn’t mean to crash whatever you’ve got going on here.” It’s a blatant lie, but Killian is counting on the brunette being too flustered by their - well, David’s sudden appearance to notice.

It seems to be working, thankfully, as Mary Margaret smiles brightly. “Of course not! We planned this as a little Girls’ Night, but you’re more than welcome to stay and socialize! The more the merrier, right?”

It’s impossible not to like the woman, really. While she’s far too perky for Killian to ever be romantically interested, Mary Margaret is such a deeply kind and pleasant person that only the truly cruel would ever take a dislike to her. “Aye, thank you.”

“Is that some sort of drinking game I see about to start?” August cuts in, likely saving them all from an encounter quickly veering towards the awkward and overly sincere.

“I think it’s more of a contest, knowing Ruby,” their quasi-host laughs, “but yes, they’re about to start. A bit wild for me, so I was about to go get another cosmo. David, Killian? Do either of you want to join me?” The invitation is technically extended to both of them, but Killian sees the way her gaze keeps focusing on David, hears the way her voice pitches up hopefully, and quickly makes his excuses.

“I actually think I might grab a beer and try my hand at the dart board, so I’ll leave you two to it.” It’s probably not the most subtle move, but David’s already shooting him a grateful look, so he supposes that his words have been effective enough.

It’s as he’s walking further down the bar to get his drink that he spots Swan in the corner, where he hadn’t noticed her when he had entered the bar, wearing a sour look on her face and sipping on something in a near fluorescent purple. Somehow, he’s not surprised to see her set apart from the thick of things; their straight-laced stage manager doesn’t seem like she’d be particularly comfortable in a chattering crowd of women. It may be taking his life in his hands considering the look Swan has on her face, but he veers to join her at the end of the bar, more enthusiastic about the prospect of spending his time chatting with her than facing the female crush everywhere else.

The skeptical look Swan shoots him as he saunters over with a charming smile should be his second warning, but Killian’s never had much of a self-preservation instinct anyways. “Fancy meeting you here,” he grins.

Swan snorts in return. “Oh, that’s what you’re going with?”

“I couldn’t possibly know what you mean.” It’s another blatant lie, and unlike Mary Margaret, Killian can see that Swan knows exactly why he’s really doing in this bar, sees right past all his and David’s excuses.

“Oh please,” Swan replies, rolling her eyes and confirming what he had expected about her ability to spot his lies. “Like you guys showing up isn’t a blatant excuse for David to flirt with Mary Margaret. The only reason she doesn’t realize it is she’s so damn smitten herself. It’s a little disgusting.”

“You wound me, Swan. It’s an absolute coincidence that we happen to be at the same bar.” Receiving a final unamused look, he collapses onto a stool, giving up the pretense. “They really are smitten, aren’t they? And absolutely obtuse about the matter.”

“Really, they are,” Swan grumbles in return. “Like, it’s so obvious they’ve got a thing for each other, I’m about ready to start placing bets about how long it will take.”

Killian chuckles. “Well, let me know if you ever do, I’d be happy to contribute to the pot.” There’s silence between them for a few minutes as Killian orders his beer, turning back to his companion once his cold drink is in hand. “I can leave you alone if you’d prefer,” he offers, noting the stormy look still occupying her face. “Conversation with you seemed much less intimidating than with the chattering female masses over there, but if you prefer —”

“It’s fine, really,” she waves him off. “I’m just…” she pauses, as if trying to find the words to explain.

“Really Swan, I don’t need an explanation if you don’t —”

“Did you know I have a son?” she interrupts.

It’s news to him. It does explain why he so often catches her trying to surreptitiously check her phone - probably trying to make sure nothing’s wrong with her boy. As he shakes his head in the negative, Emma continues.

“Well, I do. He’s ten. He’s with his dad this weekend. And I’m glad he’s excited about that, but it always makes me…” She waves at her face and its expression, as if that’s an acceptable substitute for actually finishing her sentence with words. Honestly, she’s not wrong on that front, her irritated expression speaking volumes. “So it’s not you, and it’s not the company, and it’s not this outing or party or whatever.” She pauses. “Ok, maybe the last one, but that’s because I’d much rather be at home angrily drinking by myself than being dragged out on the town. But Mary Margaret and Ruby are convinced that if I’m at home, I’ll be wallowing in loneliness, so they dragged me out here against my will.” Another eye roll clearly illustrates Swan’s own thoughts on the matter, and Killian finds himself inexplicably charmed by the gesture. The more he learns and sees of Emma Swan, the more he’s fascinated by her, and he’s glad she hasn’t just unceremoniously sent him on his way tonight.

“Ah, well, that makes two of us,” Killian replies genially, before immediately backtracking. “Not the son bit, but the not particularly wanting to be here. I’d planned to go home and call my brother tonight, but David practically begged me to help in this little farce and… well, long story short, here I am.”

“Here we both are.” She raises her glass to his in a short salute to the unenthusiastic and unwilling.

After taking a swig of his beer, Killian sets his glass back down and turns to Emma with purpose. “It’s not all bad, really. I’ve been trying to find a moment to speak with you all day.”

“Oh?” Her eyebrows raise in curiosity and confusion as she raises her own glass to take another sip of her purple monstrosity. Based on the way her mouth puckers as the alcohol hits her tongue, he thinks she might feel the same way about her beverage.

“Well, you see, I thought I heard you quoting a certain musical earlier…”

Swan immediately groans, her head dropping as if in resignation or defeat. Killian is confident that the only thing keeping her from banging her head on the counter is her folded arms braced against the worn and stained wood. “I was hoping no one heard that.”

“‘This is my husband, we’re from Maine’? I’m impressed by your Sondheim knowledge, Swan, but your timing needs work.”

“I know, I know. It’s… Henry and I have this game, you see, where we try to slip in lyrics without the other knowing. He actually knows a lot, just by virtue of being my kid and practically being raised in theaters. So when I heard Belle, I wasn’t trying to turn it into a joke or something awful like that, it was just… a reflex, I guess.”

“Second nature,” Killian nods in return. “I’m not holding it against you, love, a man just doesn’t expect to hear Assassins quotes tossed around willy-nilly.”

“Thanks.” Catching the bartender’s attention, she holds up her glass in the universal sign for ‘more, please’. “For the record, I’m impressed you caught that. Assassins is pretty much at the top of my list of shows to see, but not everyone knows about it.”

“You can blame my brother for that,” Killian chuckles. “After I decided to become a theatre actor, he decided I needed a full history of the genre. Except the tosser knows next to nothing about musicals and can’t sing a note, so it was mostly just him telling me a lot of Sondheim and Andrew Lloyd Webber facts. Which means I know a disproportionate amount about Cats and Into the Woods. Assassins was at least a more enjoyable entry in his so-called education.”

The story at least gets her to laugh, displacing that foul look she’s been wearing for a moment. “Your brother sounds like a handful. I mean, it sounds like he means well, but wow.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Killian grumbles, eliciting another laugh from his companion. He could get used to that sound, given the chance. “But enough about that wanker. What would you say to a game of pool, Swan?”

Her answering grin is acceptance and challenge, all at once. “Oh, you’re on, Jones.”

———

It’s late when Killian finally calls Liam; he’s not rightfully sure how late, a series of beers, and later glasses of rum, blurring his perception of time, but he knows it’s far past a respectable hour. The only saving grace is that his older brother is currently out in Los Angeles, three hours behind Killian’s local time. Perhaps that will do something to make up for the perceived lateness of the hour.

“Hello?” sounds Liam’s voice from the other end of the line, and Killian is relieved to hear that his brother’s voice is the normal kind of tired, not the just-woken-up kind. Killian may be a bit drunk, but he’s not so far gone that he can’t tell the difference.

“Brother!” he practically chirps in response. “I know it’s late, but I promised I’d call, didn’t I?”

The chuckle from the other end of the line is warm, if exhausted. “Aye, that you did. Tell me, Killy, how much have you had to drink? Are you ok to find your way home?”

“Oh, a good bit. I’ll be fine.” Liam definitely can’t see the dismissive wave of Killian’s hand, but that doesn’t stop him in the least, his impulse control and logic severely compromised. “David convinced me to come out. Have I told you about Dave, Liam? Dave’s a good mate.”

“Aye, you have. I might have to have a few words with Dave if this is going to become a regular occurence. It’s after 11, Killian, which is even later for you.”

“Oh, don’t scold Dave. I didn’t even spend most of the night with him, I spent it with Swan! I’ve talked about Swan before, haven’t I, Liam?” Oh, he really ought to have talked about Swan before. It’d be a utter shame if he hadn’t - he just can’t properly remember right now.

“Are you making friends with birds, Killy?” Liam’s voice is amused, but Killian is less so upon hearing his older brother’s response.

“Don’t be daft, Liam,” he all but snaps. “No, Swan is the stage manager. I must have told you about her.”

The voice on the other end of the line hums as if in realization. “Ah, the one you’re so fascinated with?”

Even with his delayed responses, Killian can feel himself blush. “I’m not fascinated, Liam,” he explains in what he thinks is a perfectly level and reasoned tone of voice, slightly slurred words be damned. “She’s just a very nice lady. And talented. And lovely too.” The humming noise comes from the other end of the line again, causing Killian to adopt a defensive tone. “I don’t have a crush on her Liam, stop that.”

“I never said you did,” Liam says with amusement coloring his voice. Killian can just imagine the placating hand he must be raising to calm his younger brother back down.

“She’s just very good at her job,” Killian tries to explain. “I admire her.”

“Of course you do,” Liam replies soothingly. “And I know you don’t have any feelings for her, but just in case, tread carefully, alright? It’s not a particularly good idea to get involved with people you’re working closely with.”

“I will be,” Killian dutifully says, before hastening to add, “But it won’t be necessary, Liam. She’s just a friend.”

“Whatever you say, Killian,” Liam placates. “Call me in the morning when the alcohol wears off, aye? I’ll talk to you later.”

“Aye, brother, tomorrow.” There’s the usual exchange of affections to close out the call, and then Killian’s left to his own thoughts again, and still needing to find his way home.

Liam can say all he wants, but no matter how fascinating Killian finds Emma Swan, it’s nothing more than a platonic interest. Even if she is lovely and interesting and brilliant and absolutely someone he could have romantic feelings for.

———

It’s such a cliche to say that their interactions at the bar are the beginning of a beautiful friendship, but Emma thinks she and Jones - Killian, she could probably call him now - might be on their way there. Killian is easy to talk to, charming, funny, and apparently willing to participate in ridiculous romantic schemes in service of a friend. The professional part of Emma feels victorious that they apparently cast the perfect man to play their Mr. Darcy; the rest of her is left just wondering how he’s real. The man acts like something out of one of Mary Margaret’s awful romantic comedies, and Emma’s not sure what to do about it.

It doesn’t help that he seems especially determined to be a gentleman towards Emma in particular. He already does all the door holding and ‘ladies first’ nonsense, but he’s taken to helping Emma collect all the various and sundry things she lends out from her supply box over the course of a day and bringing her hot chocolate in the mornings. She’s not even sure how he knows about the hot chocolate thing; who knows, maybe she told him herself that night at the bar. Emma does get chatty when she gets tipsy, even if she doesn’t like to admit it. Regardless, he’s even figured out that she likes cinnamon on top, and presents the to-go cups each morning with a smile that is much brighter than Emma is properly prepared to see before noon.

They’re friends now, she supposes. That’s what Emma’s willing to admit to at least. Sure, she can easily see how that friendship could turn into something more if they both let it, but they work together. It would be such a bad idea - if not downright disastrous. Friendship is safe; friendship is something they can both handle. There’s absolutely no attraction and no feelings on either side.

Emma only hopes that if she repeats that mantra enough, the words will actually stay true.

#my writing #Playing the Part #Getting to Know You #cs ff #Broadway AU #actor!Killian #stage manager!Emma

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lovegodherself · 6 years

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there’s these two guys i know (GUYS) and they hated to all the boys and were saying it’s so bad and it’s the worst movie they’ve ever seen and my fragile heart can’t take it and can’t properly verbalize why they’re so so wrong can you help me

Aw cutie omg YES okay I actually have a lot of thoughts on this!! I’ll put it in a read more since I wrote an essay (complete with footnotes) lmao…

Okay so to preface this: I’ve been thinking about the male reception to/interpretation of this movie since one of my (straight) guy friends casually said the other day that he thought To All the Boys was “good” but Set It Up was better, which is totally fine - and I loved Set It Up too - but it legit hurt my feelings because To All the Boys is so tender and personal and resonated with me on such a deep emotional level that his dismissal of it felt almost insulting to me (and he *liked* it so I can’t even imagine having to listen to someone trash it like that - you’re braver than any US marine)… Now up until this point I’d only talked about To All the Boys with girls and gay guys, who all seemed to wholeheartedly adore it (or were at least happy to swoon over Peter Kavinsky with me), so even though I was taken aback that he thought it was just ~okay, I didn’t even try to argue or challenge him on it - which is not like me at all - because my internal gut reaction was like “wait, of course you didn’t love it, it’s not FOR you!”

Let me explain:

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is told entirely from the female perspective. Not only was it written and directed by women, and based on a novel by a woman, but its sole protagonist is a teenage girl - the entire story is told from her POV and her actions and emotions guide us through the narrative. In contrast, Set It Up, which also happens to be written and directed by women (it’s amazing how good rom-coms are when they’re created by people who actually love and understand the genre - what a concept, right?) has dual protagonists in the Glen Powell and Zoey Deutch characters, who carry pretty much equal weight in the story. That creates an easy entry point for male viewers who might otherwise have trouble identifying with women and/or relating to stories about them - they’re spoon-fed a “dude” perspective to identify with and can mindlessly consume the rest of the movie. If that element is missing, they’re genuinely lost.

That’s where I think a lot of guys* just don’t ~get~ To All the Boys, which is unapologetic in its femininity and doesn’t make any kind of concentrated effort to entice or win over the straight-dude audience. We’re all so conditioned to view male stories/characters as neutral/universal and female stories/characters as specific/niche that for women, something like this feels revelatory and refreshing, while for a lot of guys, it can be confusing - even threatening - because they can’t comprehend a story that isn’t bending over backwards to cater to them. On top of that, from the very first scene it’s rooted in female fantasy and focuses so heavily on female relationships** that they probably feel that it just isn’t for them, or is making demands of them that they resent. Does that make sense? Basically I just think they’re put off by the inherently feminine sensibility of the movie and their inability to process that manifests itself as “I hate it, it’s bad.” *Steps down from feminist soapbox*

Now, if you just want to hit them with specific examples of things that are inarguably good about To All the Boys, that’s just about the one thing my master’s degree in film criticism is good for so here goes!!

Things To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before Gets Really Right:

The visuals. The cinematography and color composition are completely stunning and manage to feel at once classic and really fresh.

The set design, especially the interiors. I love that the girls’ bedrooms reflect their different personalities - Margot’s is bright and pristine, mostly composed of whites and neutrals (safe) with subtle pops of color and lightly decorated with a few sophisticated details/accessories, while Lara Jean’s is more colorful and whimsical, like a daydream, and a bit of a cluttered mess but still so pretty and soft and warm, just like her. That attention to detail is impeccable; my favorite little touch was LJ’s prominently-featured bookshelf full of Nancy Drew mysteries, which is never explicitly acknowledged but there for the girls who Know™.

The authenticity. On a representation level, this movie reflects our world in a really necessary (and unfortunately rare) way, with a diverse cast of actors/characters who feel effortlessly real. I appreciate the filmmakers’ commitment to honoring the Song Covey sisters’ half-Korean background, especially since I know that was a bit of a battle for them. Also, on a micro level, I think the way all the characters interact in this movie feels pretty natural in a way teen movies don’t always get right. None of the performances feel hollow, forced, or over-the-top.

Characterization. Every single one of these characters feels like someone I know - or could know - in real life. There are no stereotypes, and every archetype (the Cool Dad, the Mean Girl, the Nosy Little Sister) all have a unique spin that makes them feel super original and interesting. Also Peter Kavinsky as a love interest is so key because he’s a truly good, kind guy and their relationship is totally respectful and healthy, especially by teen movie standards!

The depiction(s) of grief/loss. I lost my dad last year and it’s really affected the way I consume any kind of media, but Dead Parent Content in particular is obviously always touchy. It’s rare to watch things that deal with that subject in a way that feels genuine and honest without being emotionally manipulative, and when you do it’s not always easy. Very few things tackle the subject thoughtfully and gracefully enough that it resonates but is still watchable*** and I thought this movie did an absolutely perfect job. The scene with her and her dad in the Corner Cafe makes me weep - I could write an additional 5-6 paragraphs on why but I’ll just say that her hesitance to even talk about her mom is such a fundamental aspect of her characterization/story that the catharsis when it gets broken open is deep and effective. Also them talking about her (and the way they talk about her) brings her mom into the story as a character (not just a theme or a concept) and I thought that was really well done and important!

I have to physically restrain myself from writing more but in summary I’ll just say that those guys not understanding this movie would suggest that they just don’t understand girls, which is their problem, though you might want to suggest that they take notes on Peter Kavinsky (and Lara Jean’s dad for that matter) if they want to be good men and boyfriends and eventually husbands and fathers, lest they die alone and unloved! If you do feel the need to engage, I would recommend challenging them - ask them to back up their opinions with actual reasoning, or ask what kind of movies they like (and if they answer with typical, predictable nonsense, ask why they thought they’d like a movie like To All the Boys to begin with) because guys like that are usually just looking to bait a reaction and tend to crumble/shy away when you flip the script on them. ALSO if this is really “the worst movie they’ve ever seen” - and I promise you it’s not - but they’ve clearly not seen Netflix’s The Kissing Booth**** which is hands down the best hate-watch of 2018 (I’m lowkey obsessed with how reckless and insane that movie is) and they’re missing out.

Bless you if you read all that… I hope it helps!

* I say “a lot of guys” because obviously there are plenty of guys out there who do love and respect women and are interested in watching movies that tell our stories - that’s just not who we’re talking about here.

** Even though her relationship with Peter is the through-line of the story, it’s her relationships to the other female characters that inform the conflicts, resolutions, and character dynamics: her inability/unwillingness to open up to anyone comes from her fear of losing people like she lost her mom, the film’s inciting incident happens because her younger sister loves her and wants more for her, the whole arrangement with Peter is born out of her inability to lie to her older sister, the primary conflicts that arise between her and Peter are the result of her strained relationship with her ex-best friend Gen - I could go on, but you get it.

*** I have an ongoing list of Quality Grief/Loss Media Content for anyone who needs it or is interested.

**** No offense if you like The Kissing Booth. To be clear, I enjoy it very much but it is, by no stretch of the imagination, anything even resembling a “good” movie.

#to all the boys I've loved before #anonymous #ty sweet anon for giving me an excuse to wax poetic abt my two fav subjects: this movie and how stupid boys are

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mediaeval-muse · 6 years

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Book Review... Alexandra Christo, “To Kill a Kingdom”

Rating: 4/5 stars

Summary: Princess Lira is siren royalty and the most lethal of them all. With the hearts of seventeen princes in her collection, she is revered across the sea. Until a twist of fate forces her to kill one of her own. To punish her daughter, the Sea Queen transforms Lira into the one thing they loathe most—a human. Robbed of her song, Lira has until the winter solstice to deliver Prince Elian’s heart to the Sea Queen or remain a human forever. The ocean is the only place Prince Elian calls home, even though he is heir to the most powerful kingdom in the world. Hunting sirens is more than an unsavory hobby—it’s his calling. When he rescues a drowning woman in the ocean, she’s more than what she appears. She promises to help him find the key to destroying all of sirenkind for good—But can he trust her? And just how many deals will Elian have to barter to eliminate mankind’s greatest enemy.

Reviewer Comments: I don’t remember why I first picked up this book, other than I was hoping to read something different by reading a story about a siren. I went in with low expectations - I’ve been burned by a lot of YA fantasy (not to knock the genre as a whole) - but after reading, I was pleasantly surprised at the way this story was crafted. While there were some things here and there that I can pick apart, as a whole, I genuinely enjoyed this book and appreciated what it was trying to do.

Things I Liked

Characters: The strongest aspect of this book is the character building. Not only are the two protagonists flawed yet likable, but Elian’s crew aboard the Saad (his pirate ship) are also rich characters with diverse stories.

Found Family: I really enjoyed that this book focused so much on the ship’s crew and the idea of the found family. It proved to be a nice contrast to the conflict that existed between the protagonists and their blood family, and I think it nicely underscored the main psychological shifts in the novel, such as when Lira contemplates the nature of loyalty, etc.

Setting: While not a whole lot of focus is placed on explaining the worldbuilding, the novel still gives readers a dazzling look into the universe in which this story is set. I liked the idea of a world of a hundred kingdoms, and each one having a particular personality. Midas, for example, is the city of gold, so everything is golden. Eidyllion is a city of love and romance, so there are sweets everywhere and a prohibition of weapons. Things like that were fun to read about without being bogged down by details.

Banter: Throughout the book, the characters exchange insults, quips, and other jibes that were especially fun to read. It gave the book a lighthearted tone, despite the dark tasks the characters sometimes had to perform. The dialogue also showed off the characters’ wit, and I found myself laughing aloud plenty of times.

Things I Didn’t Like

Sea Queen: While the Sea Queen is indeed a formidable foe in this book, she felt a bit too one-dimensional to me. I was hoping that more could be done to cultivate an image of her that wasn’t just about being a sadist - maybe a deep-rooted fear or trauma that stemmed from the events that led to the human-siren war. Something that made her understandable but not redeemable. As the book currently stands, I had a hard time seeing her as an exciting villain.

Balance of Power: There are several times in the book when male characters - both antagonists - use misogyny to show their badness. While I’m not against villainous characters doing villainous things, I’m not so much a fan of using gendered insults or gendered power dynamics to show that villainy (unless the point of the story as a whole is to address misogyny in a culture). This may be personal preference, and that’s fine. But I’m a little tired of hearing male characters throw around words like “bitch” or “whore” as insults, or male characters “laying claim” to female bodies to show how creepy they are. If you want to show villainy, I can think of a hundred other things that aren’t rooted in gender dynamics.

Recommendations: I would recommend this book if you’re interested in

pirates, sailing, sea journeys

sirens, mermaids, sea monsters

fantasy kingdoms, magic