#there are apparently ~160 emotes?

[thisiswash]

gacha pulls for emotes

i like it-

#obv in game money for the gacha but #there are apparently ~160 emotes? #gaming stuff

[jarofstyles]

Illicit 10

Here we are, babes. The last official part of the main Illicit story. It’s bittersweet because I finally completed something lmao but also, I really love them and their story.

Safe to say this isn’t the last you’ll see of them. I’m fully planning on doing little flashbacks and check ins with them, feel free to let me know what you would like to see/if you have any unanswered questions. Thank you for reading!

Check out our Patreon for early access and 160+ exclusive writings

Illicit masterlist

WC- 3.3k

Warnings- mention of wounds, stitching, having children, marriage talk, nightmares, etc

——-

“Harry, for the love of god, please be careful of your arm.” Y/N winced in worry as the man carried firewood over to their fire pit. He had not been taking his injury half as seriously as he had been taking Y/N’s concussion, treating her like the ‘delicate little bird she was.’ He’d gotten an eye roll for that. Of course he wasn’t letting her help lug the wood for their night in front of the fire. She’d requested with sleepy eyes earlier in the morning to make smores because they’d been in her dream and Harry was giving her basically anything she wanted. 

“M’fine, baby.” He laughed, appreciating her concern but knowing the injury barely stung anymore. “The stitches are coming out tomorrow, and we pushed it, keeping them until then. Only kept them because you wanted me to.” 

It had been about 2 weeks since the attack and they’d left for the lake house. As much as he knew it was terrifying for the both of them, he was utterly relieved to have Katherine behind bars. He’d made sure to keep updated by his contact in the force to know what was happening with her case. Apparently she had really lost it, but Harry didn’t give a fuck. He wanted her to rot behind bars, to live miserably and have Y/N be safe without the threat of some crazy ex-who-isn’t-an-ex looming in the background. 

Harry had kept work to a minimum, only logging in to oversee the decisions he had to make. There had been no calls besides the nightly one with his COO to ensure things were running smoothly. Other than that, his entire attention had been on Y/N. They’d barely left the house considering at first Y/N had been a bit embarrassed of her injuries. Another reason he’d hate Katherine until the day he died. Harry always was one to hold grudges, he was infamous for it. She’d never know peace if the man had anything to do with it. 

They were healing incredibly well, Harry taking the time at night to set her on the bathroom counter and wipe them clean and apply the healing ointment to them. The only one that was more than a fading scab was the one on her head along with the slight discoloration the black eye had caused. Other than that, he was more than relieved to see her bouncing back. The only thing that plagued him still was the nightmare. 

His nightmares. 

They’d always start the same, almost a play by play of what had happened to him walking into the home and up the stairs- only when he got there it had been too late. In his nightmare, the knife had already taken Y/N’s life and he couldn’t do anything to save her. He always woke up before the knife struck him, but it actually hurt him. It was a little difficult for him to admit to her, always wanting to be the strong one when it came to their pairing- someone for her to lean on fully- but she had cried once he told her and insisted that she wanted to be there for him. That a partnership was made out of balance and while she could offer him some of the same things he did for her, she was more than capable to be his emotional shoulder to cry on. It had been a tough thing to come to terms with but this week seemed to be healing. Not just physically, either. 

“Ms. Greta, please tell him to take it easy.” Y/N pouted at the older woman who brought out the tray of s’more making supplies. She’d made sure to add the peanut butter cups as requested. 

“I’m afraid if he won’t listen to you, he won’t listen to anyone.” She chuckled. “Men will be men, and that includes straining their physical health for the macho man act. One day they learn we do know what we are talking about.” A little wink was sent her way as Harry huffed, arranging the wood in the fire pit with a grumble. 

“Because I’m fine.” He stressed, standing up straight and crossing his arms. “It’s healed up nicely. I’m more than capable of setting up a little fire.” Crossing over to Y/N, he stole a kiss before grabbing the lighter and a few other things. “Just sit pretty and let your man do the work, baby. I’ve got it.” 

There was a snort heard from both women but Ms. Greta was now off the clock, wishing them a good night before retreating into the house. As much as he loved having the woman around, he really was obsessed with this alone time with Y/N. There was the residual guilt he had over her being treated less than ideally because he was juggling the faux relationship and the contract, but he knew now that he was going to have to take a bit of a step back from work in order to do that. He’d delegate as he was supposed to be doing to begin with, assign more to his assistant, take Y/N more places and on more dates out in public. He couldn’t fucking wait to attent events with her and show her off. 

He’d been waiting months to let people know who his heart belonged to, and he was finally getting the chance to do so. It was obvious now since the articles had been a media frenzy over the attack, things leaked he couldn’t pinpoint. The only thing he had been commenting on was the fact that Y/N wasn’t a mistress, Katherine wasn’t his lover that was scorned, and there was no true excuse for the actions. It was a good thing in hindsight that they were there, alone. No one had a true clue about the location and he didn’t feel like being hounded by paparazzi- though hopefully they knew better now than to test him and his hatred for the cameras.

One thing that had been burning into him, though, was a question he’d been wanting to ask her. One he knew that was a bit unorthodox but a necessary one nonetheless. 

She sat across his lap, his hoodie covering her tank top and denim shorts as her legs swung slightly while they waited for the fire to burn a bit hotter so they could roast their marshmallows.

“When would you like to get married?” He asked. “And how many kids are we thinking about?” 

The girl nearly snapped her neck as she looked at him with wide eyes, the not so casual question leaving his mouth as if it was him asking what she wanted for dinner. Harry always did find a way to shock the hell out of her but this was definitely one of the top questions that had caught her off guard.  Secretly, she’d assumed Harry had that all figured out. He always made sure to let her know how much he appreciated her opinions and her thoughts, that they were important to him- but he was a planner. Harry was the man in charge and she was happy to let him be. It took a lot of weight off of her shoulders that she wouldn’t admit to anyone else actually weighed on her. 

“Uh…” She blinked at him a few times. “I’m not sure. Kinda figured you’d be the one to pop the question. But honestly… Maybe a year? A few months? I dunno.” There was a slight lump in her throat. “I’ve no doubt I want to be with you the rest of my life so part of me feels like I’d probably be fine eloping right now if that was something you wanted but… We haven't really had the chance to be a couple out in the open. While I doubt that’s going to change much considering we feel so strongly, I think it would be kind to ourselves to let us iron out some of the details first before we fully tie the knot.” There wasn’t a right or wrong answer but it still made her a little nervous to answer. “As for kids? I’m not sure. 2? 3? I’d probably say we have one first and figure it out from there.” It wasn’t like they’d have to worry about resources externally but she knew Harry valued family more than anything and he’d want to be an active father. He’d already indulged that detail to her one night when they were particularly loved up. However, neither of them had any children so they didn’t know the workload it would entail, nor did they know how they’d work as parents. Of course they’d figure it out but it would make it a bit more clear on how many they could handle.

“First of all, as much as I’d love to call you my wife right this second… I could never deprive you of the wedding you deserve.” Y/N had told him about the fact that she had always dreamt about her wedding as a little girl. She had pinterest boards full of themes and wedding dresses she’d want to try and cake designs. He wasn’t about to deprive her of those things for his selfish needs.. Harry knew he was indeed a selfish bastard in every other facet of his life, but when it came to Y/N and his soon to be family? That was his only exception. “My mum would probably keel over dead if I did that too. Trust me, you’re going to get your princess wedding.” There was no debating that. “And for kids… I’d love to give you many, many babies.” His tone turned smooth, a little smirk lighting up his face and the twinkle of his eye. “But I think I agree. My idea had been 2-4, but I’ll take as many as you’ll give me. Always.” His hand pulled her in so he could press a kiss to her cheek, muttering a soft declaration of love. 

“Love you more.” She sighed, leaning further into his chest. “I’m so happy that we can live our lives when we get back. I know it’ll probably be a little crazy but there's no more hiding. We can go out and hold hands and kiss, people are going to know we belong to each other.” The giddiness on her face was bittersweet. “I’m so excited to be with you properly.”

The tinge of guilt hit him full on in the stomach, making him frown as he looked into the fire. He knew he had fucked up several times on this journey and Y/N just had a lot of patient and given him a lot of grace when he knew for a fact most other people wouldn’t- but that made it feel a little worse. He’d been wrong in not ditching the contract immediately. “Baby?” He said, voice quieter as he met her eyes. “I’m sorry. Genuinely sorry that I’m a stubborn son of a bitch and I didn’t just dissolve the contract and take on a lawsuit. I should have done it the day I met you because I knew you were going to mean a lot to me even there. I… I know I’ve told you a lot how you were the first and only person to ever make me feel the way you do, but it’s more than that. And my hard headed shit got us into something awful. I know I fucked up and you are more generous than I deserve but…” His fingers tenderly moved the hair from her face, stroking her cool cheek. “I’m going to work every single day for the rest of my life to make it up to you. I’m going to make you the most spoiled, well traveled, happiest woman I possibly can.” His voice stayed quiet as he searched her eyes for any hint of resentment but somehow there wasn’t any there. 

“H.. I knew what I signed up for. You’d been nothing but honest with me the night I ignored you. You laid it all out for me. I knew that you were taken in name only and I liked you so much that I agreed. I never felt like I played second to her. You can say a lot of things about you, lovely, but subtle isn’t one of those things. You never made me feel like she was important. I understood how important your business was to you- it’s the most important thing to you. Did I like seeing you with her? No. But you made it so clear to me that I was yours and you were mine, I never felt like… I never had any competition.” Y/N tried to soothe the ache she knew he felt. Of course she hadn’t liked people thinking he belonged to someone else but she knew he loved her. The most she had ever been loved, the most unashamed. 

“First, I have a correction- You are the most important thing to me. I’d give it all up for you.” That wasn’t a sentence anyone could take lightly, nor one he would ever thought he would say. It used to be the truth, but now it was far from it. “You are my life.” His gaze bore into her own as he cupped her cheek.  “There was never any competition. If we want the honest truth, I thought I’d marry as a business decision. I thought I’d probably not have any kids considering I only ever wanted children out of love. I was happy working until I was gray and about to keel over. Business was my only reason for being, and it wasn’t something I minded- but you gave my life so much more, so much color, my angel.” He’d never sounded more fond in his life, looking at his heaven sent gift perched in his lap. “I didn’t realize there was more to life until I met you. You opened my eyes and made my heart soften. I give a shit about a lot more than numbers now and it’s because of you.” 

People could say he did it himself but he knew the truth. Without meeting Y/N his life would have been the same robotic function it had been since he got out of uni, and he wouldn’t have complained. He’d never know how much he would miss out on. “I thank whoever in the world sent you to me every damn day and you know m’not religious. You are my miracle. It made me feel so fucking sick walking in that house and thinking you were hurt, I have never in my life felt that sort of terror. But I’d do it all again in order to keep you.” The scar on his arm was a reminder of that. 

“I love you, H. The most in the world.” Her eyes watered a little as she smiled at him. “I’m sorry you got scared. I was scared too, scared she would do worse with that knife though I’m still upset you got hurt at all. But I’d go through every bit of it again too.” She sniffled, feeling his thumb brush under her eye as a tear fell. “I know I want everything with you. The marriage and babies and our own house with a pool, if that’s something you want too. You’re the love of my life.” 

“And you’re mine.” He mumbled, pressing his lips to hers. “M’gonna spend every day proving that to you. Just wait and see, my angel. My heart is yours.”  

—-------

Nails dug into Harry’s back as he rocked slowly into his girl in their brand new home. One he’d bought her as a surprise when they arrived back into the city, leaving their old memories behind in the other penthouse and moving on to the next chapter in the rest of their lives. 

“H-Harry…” She bleated, holding on to him while the other hand grabbed his face and pulled his face down so he could be kissed. “Thank you. You always take c-care of me.”

His pace as slow and deep, pressing in as far as he could go on the brand new sheets they’d picked out together. The sunset bled into their room as they breathed each other in, wrapped up in their covers on their first night sleeping there. He’d spared no expense making sure he got the best of the best for her. He was dedicated to the cause, dedicated to proving to her that she was the most precious thing to him in the world. 

“M’always going to take care of you, my love.” He nudged his nose against hers as he dipped his hips to get deeper inside of her. It was like they couldn’t get close enough to one another, her legs wrapped snug around his hips while he kept himself up with one hand, the other under her neck. The term making love was fully about this. It was unmistakable. “You were made for me.” 

He couldn’t wait to spend every morning like this for the rest of his life. The man who used to cringe at the idea of fucking anyone face first now had it as his preferred position, wanting to make sure he could see every second of her reactions to him. She was snug around his cock, taking him like it was her only job in the world. He’d had no problem doing only this for the rest of his life. 

“And you were… you were made for me. We’re made for each other.” Y/N nodded, pressing another open mouthed kiss to his lips as he kept the steady pace, hitting the delicious spot he always knew how to find. “You know my body perfectly. It’s yours forever.” It was both the truth and a bit of a taunt, knowing how much he loved when she spoke like that. 

“You are. You’re mine and m’all yours, never have to share me. I love you so fucking much, Y/N.” He whimpered as her fingers tangled in his hair, tugging on it as she was filled over and over again. He hit the perfect spot and was trying to get her to cum, trying to have her finish all over him so he could do the same and stay deep inside for a while. Craving this sort of closeness was an addiction, one he didn’t plan on cutting. The obsession with Y/N grew each and every day. “I can’t wait to make you my wife.”

The woman whined out his name at the last sentence, tugging him closer with her legs as she soaked up every bit of heat from him. It didn’t matter what happened, who tried to get in their way- they would always belong to one another. There was an understanding between both of them knowing this love was bone deep, soul deep, it only deepened by the day. When it felt like they couldn’t love each other more it just kept growing, no matter how full they felt. It was everything. 

A love like this was something people revered as pure, perfect, something that everyone craved and yearned for. Something out of a book or a movie, the sort of feeling that trumps all other people and situations. Their passion and yearning for one another had been cultivated in anything but pureness, it was made in the dark. It always made him laugh a little to know that such a concept had blossomed into a real, tangible thing that he could feel between their bodies, something he could see when he looked at her, something he could taste when he kissed her. 

A love that stayed between the lines wasn’t the type that grew stronger- that’s why he smiled when they called it illicit.

#jarofstyles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smut #harry writing #harry styles imagine #harry drabble #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #harry styles au #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry angst #harry fluff #harry smut #asshole h #asshole Harry #illicit

[go-to-the-mirror]

Every day I think about episode 160 and cry. Like. Like. Jesus christ! The. Everything. Like. Every so often I think of TheOestOfOCs’ tag on their Dracula fusion fic, “this is still a fix it fic compared to canon” AND IT IS??? Fucking. Apparently Elias kidnapping Jon and turning him into a vampire and generally being the most awful person ever is a FIX IT FIC compared to what we’ve got.

And I’m like, I’m not complaining, I signed up for this, but like yeah, signed up for this (emotional ruin), but that doesnt make me HAPPIER ABOUT IT?

Okay, so, it’s three years, about. Starts in 2015, 2016. Ends in 2018. Because. Goddamnit. And it’s just. He gets eaten by fucking worms. You know that line, “one hand on the gas release from the start”? That line lives in my head rent free, because it’s… Elias is holding the cards, he has Jon’s fate in the bloody PALM OF HIS HAND and just… yknow how. Like. Fucked up Jon is in MAG 40? How he keeps asking them to Please Not Talk About The Worms, I Know About The Worms, Stop, I Beg Of Thee. And Elias is there, Elias is talking, Elias is seeing all of this and he’s just like “jolly good, job well done, 11 more to go!”

And just… Sasha. Tim. Melanie, Martin. Basira and Daisy. Everyone who got caught in the crossfire. Sasha, who died, unintentionally on Elias’ part, for a mark that was redundant. Tim, who died saving a world Elias knew was never in danger from the Unknowing. Melanie, who had to gouge her bloody eyes out, because Elias decided she was useful to him.

Useful. Fucking bastard.

And then, and then, season 3, right! God, I’m just thinking about Jude Perry’s mark, because that’s a burn, he probably didn’t go to a hospital, since he was on the run for a murder, so considering Lightless Flame nonsense, that’s probably a severe burn that probably caused nerve damage, caused a difficulty moving that hand, presumably the right hand, because I don’t think they were doing a scouts handshake. And while I do try make all my blorbos left-handed, Jon’s most likely right-handed. And even if he’s not, he still probably can’t move his right-hand right because someone decided to end the world through him, like a fucking bastard! That’s what gets me, right. It’s that everything, everything Jon’s bloody been through for Elias’ plans is immortalized on his skin, with his scars. Psychological trauma just isn’t enough for him, there has to be a constant reminder every time Jon looks at himself.

And then! And then! Speaking of season 3, what the fuck was that second kidnapping? Like, first kidnapping was horrifying but it was “for the plan” and the third kidnapping was in America and somehow “not that bad,” yknow, compared to finding out you’re like, physically dependent on reading horror stories, and your fucking awful bastard of a boss decided to drop that bombshell on you while you were actively, yknow, GETTING SICK FROM IT! Oh Joy. But second kidnapping was a) redundant, he’d already gotten the Stranger mark. b) completely fixable.

Completely fucking fixable. Just. Tell them. Tell them where he is, or tell them that’s he’s been kidnapped, if Elias doesn’t know, I think he did, because I think he’s exactly the kind of bastard who would just let it happen despite knowing exactly how to stop it.

And you know why? Why I think? Because that’s easier, right. It’s harder to be self-destructive, it’s harder to throw yourself into Situations, it’s harder to be isolated when you have one extra month to reconnect with your colleagues.

A month. Maybe the month would have done nothing. Maybe the month would have helped Jon and Tim. Or Jon and Melanie. Or Jon and Basira. Jon and Martin were already fine, and Jon and Daisy at that point is… ah… Nope.

And you think a month is bad? 6 months. And I know, everyone was suffering — Martin especially— while Jon was gone, and I know that it’s other people’s trauma that he’s watching and actively perpetuating, but! That’s also traumatizing!! It’s traumatic to have to watch other people’s worst nightmares for six months straight with no end in sight. It’s traumatic to have to. Everything??? Fucking everything in MAG 120??? I can pull quotes but that’ll detract from the rambliness of this. I’ll do that sometime, I will.

And honestly, season 4 is just a fucking mess, it’s. It’s. I’m sad about it. I’m Very sad about it, and. God. Like. It’s just. Melanie hates him, and part of that is because Elias used him as a meat shield in MAG 101, not all, not most, but part. Jon’s a monster now, and he’s hurting people, and there’s got to be a little voice in his head telling him he’s just like Elias when Elias is the one who made him like this. And they’re tearing each other apart and Jon is diving into Situations and Elias is watching from prison all fucking smug and then MAG 158 happens, god. damn. MAG 158 happens.

“I called you.” Like a fucking dog. Like. Like. “Are you scared, Jon” “Yes” “Good”

I have the words for MAG 159. A bet. A fucking bet. A motherfucking bet. I do not think I need to detail how horrifying and dehumanizing and horrible that is???? I don’t think I need to do that.

A bet. A bet.

And it brings us back to MAG 160. Make him monologue every fucking time this happened, every fucking time Elias used him to end the world, marked him, can’t word. But. Horrifying. Jesus.

2, 3 years. “You are a living chronicle of terror” what kind of fear. Over two years, just. Two fucking years.

But it’s not two. Not three.

It’s his whole bloody life, his whole life, leading up to this. End the world. Spread it. This is it, his purpose, he’s spent so long hurting himself for a purpose.

And at the end, after everything he’s done, after everything that’s been done to him, by Jonah Magnus, by the Web or fears or-

He can’t break free. He follows his purpose. He dances the steps he was assigned.

#im so fucking upset about him #jonathan sims #mag 160 #tma #the magnus archives #tma meta #tip: i am so fucking mad #landscaping your mind chapter one #jonah magnus #ITS NOT FAIR #ITS NOT FAIR THAT HE HAS TO GO THROUGH THIS #FUCK YOU JONNY AND FUCK YOUR FANTASTIC WRITING /nsrs #(ty jonny ty for your fantastic writing) #i want to kill. i want to give jon a hug #mr. jarchivist sims i care you. #anyway good morning. it’s being really upset about jon & hating jonah magnus hours #(all hours) #landscaping your mind is garbage and here’s why

[strawwritesfic]

Gil-galad x Female!Elf!Reader: Blanket

Summary: Today you say goodbye to almost everything you’ve ever loved.

Rating/Tags: All (Pregnant!Reader; inaccurate depiction of Lord of the Rings elves; pre-Last Alliance of Elves and Men; not canon compliant)

Challenge: “160 Collective Drabbles” challenge by BobaPop on Lunaescence Archives.

Tag List: @imaginesfire​

Notes: Hey, didn’t I say that I haven’t been able to get through all the supplementary lore books for The Lord of the Rings? So what’s with writing for this character that’s barely a blip in the trilogy? Well, to be honest, this was written as a replacement for the original character requested, Tyrion from A Song of Ice and Fire. I’ve got some guardian anon that always pops up whenever I tentatively agree to write anything for that series and reminds me that I don’t want to get sued. I agreed to write for Gil-galad solely because I felt bad for leaving the requester in the lurch.

Also: I haven’t seen Rings of Power and probably won’t. I don’t know if Gil-galad is a character in that (this gif seems to indicate he is), but 100% this is not canon compliant with this series. This was written sometime in 2015/2016 after reading a bunch of wiki articles about the character, so it’s probably not canon compliant at all. I mean, I know it’s not. Just don’t expect it to be consistent with the apparently not-particularly-accurate lore from the new series either.

Blanket

Through your elf eyes, war appeared to come slowly and from a great distance. Gil-galad, High King for many ages, at first kept it at bay with his wisdom. Unfortunately, war did not tire, and soon it was at your gate. Once Gil-galad and his allies struck it down. The second time, they were not as prepared.

They would ride out soon nonetheless, this last alliance of Men and Elves. A constant bustle kept everything in your kingdom moving, even as you at last fell quiet to observe. Above the sounds of stamping horses and shouted orders rose the final desperate clangs of the blacksmiths. The smells of hot metal and mud threatened to smother you. For once, the thought of leaving Arda did not seem so awful, not if this was all you had to look forward to from then on.

The mare underneath you let out a great snort. Without really thinking about it, you reached out one hand and patted her neck. That did not appear to settle your mount, and you could not really blame her. This environment did not foster patience or life. As an elf, however, your natural serenity kept the worst of your anxiety at bay to all but those who knew you best. 

Just then, a clatter of hooves against the moist earth interrupted your musings. Riding toward you–with his usual contingent of guardsmen far behind–was one such person who knew you best: your husband. All it took was your meeting his eyes, and you knew that it was time. You remained still until he came to an easy stop in front of you, then bowed your head.

“My Lord.”

“[Name],” he answered, inclining his own. “Ride with me a distance.”

His horse paced quickly ahead of yours. You paused only long enough to gaze a final time at the fields of Noldor. Already they seemed torn: the earth beneath hooves, the women and children beneath fear, the men beneath battle. Some sort of emotion tingled through your breast, but what sort, you could not tell. Already you were distancing yourself from these places and these people. Only one painful parting remained.

Gil-galad did not remark upon your countenance when at last you caught up with him. Behind you rode and stopped a half-dozen armed Elves. Half, you knew, would leave after this meeting to follow your husband back and to Mordor. The other half–those that could be spared forever–would join you on your way to the Grey Lands.

For several minutes, no one spoke. Even the sounds of those readying for war seemed muffled. Gil-galad’s keen eyes settled somewhere far away, somewhere even you could not see yet. It would take a boat and several weeks travel to get there, and he would not be joining you. 

When he blinked, Gil-galad returned his attention to you. “This is goodbye, [Name].”

The required words of farewell were in your throat before you swallowed them away. Now was the time to make your feelings known, if ever a time for that was there. “You know I do not wish this.”

His eyes widened momentarily before his gaze softened. Gil-galad had known you for hundreds of years; there were none left alive in Arda that knew you as well. Perhaps in the lands you had left so long ago there remained a few, but that was little comfort in the here and now. Your husband knew that you harbored no delusions of grandeur, no desire of finding glory in war. A battlefield was no place for a woman, least of all a woman in your situation.

Gil-galad’s familiar lips twisted up into a well-worn, gentle smile. Without taking his eyes off of you, he bent slightly to draw something from one of the bundles carried by his horse. At first, it appeared nothing more than a folded bit of fabric, for that was what it was. He unrolled it to reveal a blanket, common in appearance but clearly uncommon in make.

“I had it made months ago,” he explained before you could ask what he was doing, commissioning such things in the midst of all the chaos. “You ought to have it now. It may be cold on your journey, and our child may yet have need of it.”

It was a gentle reminder: Gil-galad desired to protect not only you but his unborn baby as well. Frowning, you took the blanket and spread it gracefully over your lap. Suddenly you could not bear to look at him. You placed one hand on the curve of your stomach and kept your gaze on a nearby tree. 

“You realize that there is a chance you are sending away your only heir,” you said.

Again you heard hooves, then he was close enough to take your chin and carefully pull your face toward his. “You realize that if I did not, there is a chance great harm could befall him.”

Tears did not come easily to you, so you did not cry. Still you were certain that Gil-galad saw in your features the bone-deep sadness you felt over your parting. Arda was the most beautiful place you had ever lived; he was the most perfect being you had ever loved.

“And when you return, how will you provide another king?” you asked quietly.

“If this alliance succeeds,” his emphasis did not escape you, “and I survive along with it, I will not return to Noldor. I will come to you.”

“And if it and you do not?”

“Then I will see you again when all has passed, even the lands to which you are returning.” 

Gil-galad allowed no time for protesting, though you no longer felt the need to do so. He was as determined in seeing you off as he had been in courting you. Another less-stifling quiet fell, and he released your chin so that he could press his forehead to yours. Ten seconds may have passed, or perhaps ten ages. Then he flicked his reigns and started up the way he had come. 

As the path turned, he did as well to the remnant of warriors staying with you. “See [Name] and the child safely across the sea, and you will prove yourself every bit as brave and reliable as those that go with me.”

They bowed. Gil-galad caught your eye for a split second and was gone. You stared after him as your guards’ horses headed further down the path. Only when the last remained waiting for you to move did you set your mare on the course set before you. When the others began to sing their goodbyes, as was custom, you did not join. Just as your child would never again know the voice of its father, your lips would never again know the feel of a song.

#fan fic #straw writes #reader insert #second person pov #one shot #challenge fic #request #lord of the rings #gil-galad #lord of the rings x reader #lord of the rings x you #lord of the rings x y/n #lotr #lotr x you #lotr x y/n #lotr x reader #gil-galad x reader #gil-galad x you #gil-galad x y/n #lotr reader #lord of the rings reader insert #also i deeply don't care about whether rings of power is canon compliant either #i'm not being hypocrital #i just have people telling me it's not canon compliant with the books #i didn't enjoy the one hobbit movie i saw #so watching a new related series isn't a priority for me #that's all

[spaceyflowerswriting]

What would it be like to be in a poly relationship with Mira and zack? (I love those two ❤️) gender neutral pls 🥺🤲

being in a poly relationship with mira kim and zack lee

details: general canon au, gender neutral reader

a/n: ANON UR BRAIN IS HUGE AND THANK U FOR THIS REQUEST 💖💖‼️ IM ALSO GLAD TO SEE SOME LOVE FOR MIRA <33

×

> daniel:

> HHSJDWJD okay but seriously being in a relationship with zack and mira would literally be soooooo comforting

> in terms of communication it's literally perfect; you guys all just get along so well !! plus mira and zack are pretty open people so they never hide anything from you. very healthy poly relationship !!

> altho zack would be a little awkward with talking about emotions because Zack Things but you and mira are patient with him so it's all good <3

> you are mira's blorbo. she loves zack with all her heart but some days he can be quite the headache (she means that affectionately) and spending time with you gives her a break ^_^

> unless... you are somehow on par with getting in trouble as much as zack. mira would still love you anyways; you and zack are troublemakers, but her troublemakers 💕 (please occasionally give her breaks from the tomfoolery tho 💔)

> on a similar note, if you run around for mira like zack does, j high school has a very well known joke: "wow, mira, you have two dogs now?" 😭

> anyways zack is running around twice as much with you in the relationship. obviously he never prioritizes one over the other but that's exactly why you and mira often have to sit him down and tell him to relax. you both may call him for help with something, but that doesn't mean he has to break his back to try to satisfy you both;;

> SLEEPING TOGETHER <3 you and mira napping on zack's chest, you and zack napping in mira's lap, both of them falling asleep on your shoulders <33

> mira making you and zack lunchboxes!!

> when walking together, whoever's the shortest usually goes in the middle ^_^ mira's apparently 5'2"/160 cm so if you're shorter than that, in the middle you go! of course, zack still gets his turn to be in the middle, too, every now and then <3

> speaking of zack, the guy is very physically affectionate! he's side hugging you and mira 24/7 and wants headpats and all that. also has definitely picked you both up before at the same time to sit on his shoulders while he's ... running around and showing you guys off or something. Zack Things, y'know?

> mira's kisses are always soft and gentle; like flower petals! pecks from her are very common, especially as a "thanks!" if you help her with something. spending time with her is pretty calming~

> zack's kisses are a little more rough and playful! they're always refreshing and usually come with "mwah"s! spending time with him can get chaotic but y'all are having fun so who cares~

> omg... casually sharing clothes... well. most likely not in zack's case, unless one of yours or mira's oversized clothing fits him

> the three of you always have fun planning dates together and then going on them. the main 3 are amusement park dates, restaurant dates, or just chilling at home doing various things dates 💖

> not much else to say except you are one lucky person to be in a poly relationship with mira and zack 💞

#lookism x reader #zack lee x reader #mira kim x reader #zack lee x reader x mira kim #zack lee #mira kim #i will be brainrotting this. thank u again anon for this genius request/idea #requests

[fashionbooksmilano]

100 Binda Celebrating 100 Years of Design Emotions

a cura di Luca Molinari

Skira, Milano 2007, 160 pagine, 100 ill. a colori, 40x30cm, ISBN 978-8876247415

euro 50,00

email if you want to buy fashionbooksmilano

"Pensare, sognare, concepire delle belle opere è un'occupazione deliziosa. E' come fumare dei sigari che ti mandano in estasi, come condurre la vita della cortigiana che vive a seconda del suo capriccio. L'opera appare allora nella grazia dell'infanzia, nella gioia folle della creazione, con i colori profumati del fiore e i succhi sapidi del frutto già gustato in anticipo. Tale è la concezione dell'opera d'arte, tali sono i suoi piaceri" (Honoré de Balzac, La cugina Bette). In questa frase di Balzac (che costituisce uno dei 50 contributi del volume) è raccolta tutta l'essenza della tecnica e della genialità della famiglia Binda che da sempre è alla guida della storica casa milanese di orologi, gioielli e accessori. Il libro celebra i suoi 100 anni con un racconto espresso attraverso 5 emozioni che fanno parte del DNA di Binda: Passione, Audacia, Desiderio, Orgoglio e Stupore. Ognuno di questi 5 sentimenti costituisce una sezione a sé stante e affidata a uno fra i 5 grandi fotografi - Mimmo Jodice, Giovanni Gastel, Occhiomagico, Filippo Romano e Armin Linke - chiamati a rileggere gli orologi della storia Binda in 50 fotografie d'autore. Completano il volume 50 contributi di personaggi italiani e internazionali, del mondo del design, dell'architettura, della scrittura, del cinema e della moda che interpretano queste 5 emozioni.

01/02/24

#100 Binda #orologi #gioielli #accessori #Mimmo Jodice #Giovanni Gastel #Armin Linke #Binda #Occhiomagico #Filippo Romano #fashionbooksmilano

[synchronousemma]

Wednesday, 6th July (Old Midsummer): Mr. Knightley proposes

Read the post and comment on WordPress

Read: Vol. 3, chs. 13–14 [49–50]; pp. 278–286 (“The weather continued” to “must all be together again”).

Context

Emma takes a walk in the afternoon and is joined by Mr. Knightley, back from London.

Readings and Interpretations

Some News to Hear

Unlike Mr. Elton’s proposal, which took place on a “bleak, snowy December night,” and Frank Churchill’s imagined proposal “indoors in February, still the barren season,” “Mr. Knightley’s confession of deep love comes at the height of fertile summer,” “among the shrubbery of Hartfield in the slanting sunlight of a July evening. Light, warmth, and spaciousness replace darkness, coldness, and confinement” (Shannon, pp. 647–8). For Bruce Stovel, the change represents not only a difference in Emma’s relationships with these men but a “change within Emma” herself (n.p.). William Stroup argues that this description implicitly endorses a particular way of viewing nature that is tied to Englishness and gentility: “Where else could such a description of natural beauty lead but to the shrubbery? […] [A]s shrubbery were the very means of enclosing formerly common lands, [Austen] shows how nature, even at its most attractive and invigorating, is always contained” (p. 160).

Emma intends to open their conversation by telling Mr. Knightley of Frank and Jane’s engagement, only for him to reveal that he had already heard the news; “it occurred to [Emma] that he might have called at Mrs. Goddard’s in his way” (p. 279). This belief that a circumstance attached to a lover may be the source of information recalls Frank’s “blunder” about Mr Perry’s carriage (which Emma did not hear); however, where Mr. Knightley did not arrive at one set conclusion, Emma attains an incorrect result when attempting to fit this sign into a predetermined formula.

Emma’s behavior throughout the rest of this section is commonly taken as evidence of her moral improvement. Howard Babb writes:

in what Emma now goes on to say, a complete reversal of her earlier behavior in the novel begins to make itself apparent: [quotes from “‘You probably have been less surprised’” to “‘doomed to blindness’”]. Emma both accepts the ‘blindness’ with which she has acted and admits to the superior insight of Mr. Knightley, who has given her a ‘caution’ about Frank Churchill’s intimacy with Jane Fairfax. This self-recognition on Emma’s part also has highly emotional implications, for she realizes not only that her ‘blindness’ to Frank Churchill has been caused by her fancy, so typical, of matching him with Harriet, but that this scheme has kept her from regarding Harriet as a rival to herself for Mr. Knightley. Especially in the passionate close, Emma betrays how deeply she feels about Mr. Knightley, though her words only plead with him to sympathize as a friend with her faults. Now a suppliant, she has completely abandoned her earlier pose of haughty detachment.

And Mr. Knightley responds to her plea, even though he believes all her distress generated by the loss of Frank Churchill, the man whom he has considered his rival. There may be a touch of irony at Mr. Knightley’s expense in the fact that he praises Emma’s ‘sense’ here while quite misconceiving her situation: [quotes from “‘Time, my dearest Emma’” to “‘She deserves a better fate’”]. Yet it is typical of Mr. Knightley that, while betraying intense private emotion by his broken clauses, he should undertake to direct Emma toward her proper reaction of ‘sense,’ unselfishness, and justice to Jane Fairfax. But clearly what moves him most deeply is the sight of suffering in the woman he loves—and a lingering resentment against his former rival. (pp. 197–8)

Juliet McMaster also notes that much of the tension in this scene arises out a misunderstanding between Emma and Mr. Knightley: “he thinks she is in love with Frank Churchill, and she thinks he is in love with Harriet” (p. 103). And, though Emma is beginning from fallacious conclusions, “Mr. Knightley, insecure and depressed, does some over-interpreting of his own”:

As they discuss Frank’s engagement to Jane, Emma, painfully aware how she has exposed herself and misled Harriet, confesses, “I seem to have been doomed to blindness.” But the secret language that Mr. Knightley hears may be translated, “I fell in love with him, not knowing he was engaged. “Abominable scoundrel!” Mr. Knightley explodes. He is fierce against Frank, tender towards Emma, inarticulate in his syntax, but clear in his body language: he takes her arm and presses it. (ibid.)

Per James Bennett, Emma “perceives […] instantly” that, “besides losing his cool, [Mr. Knightley] is wrong,” and “endeavors to set him right,” only for him to again misunderstand her (“I am pleased that you can say even so much,” E p. 279):

However, her claim that Churchill is no object of regret is softening enough to cause Knightley to express himself less violently. Now Churchill is only “a disgrace.” Again Emma tries to disabuse him of his misapprehension, this time more explicitly: “I was somehow or other safe from him.” At last Knightley understands, and, free from jealousy and therefore from prejudice, now he has “never had a high opinion of Frank Churchill,” and he “shall certainly wish him well.” It is a highly amusing scene of confused, rapid, mind-changing on the part of Knightley. (p. 249)

Emma’s assertion that she was “somehow or other safe from [Frank Churchill]” invites the reading that she has been, unbeknownst to herself, in love with Mr. Knightley the whole time. Consider for example McMaster: “Her stumbling sentence structure signals a secret, which the reader can translate though Mr. Knightley can’t. ‘In short, I was safe from him because I was already in love with you,’ she reveals involuntarily […]. ‘Prepossession’ is almost a woman’s only defence from a confident man’s persistent courtship” (p. 103). Almost the only defense--lesbianism, Susan Korba points out, is another (p. 150). I would note, though, that besides either of these things Emma had already seemed to disapprove of Frank on the grounds of morality or courtesy (see Grossman).

Emma, in her turn, misunderstands Knightley by believing him to be thinking of Harriet when he says that he envies Frank’s “‘equality of situation’” with his bride (p. 291). McMaster argues that Emma “earn[s] Mr. Knightley” in this, the “most crucial moral climax in the novel,” by encouraging him to speak:

“Emma could not bear to give him pain. He was wishing to confide in her--perhaps to consult her;--cost her what it would, she would listen. She might assist his resolution, or reconcile him to it; she might give just praise to Harriet.” In that brief piece of reflection Emma atones for all her sins of over-interpretation, and of selfishness and self-aggrandisement, all her unwarrantable manipulation of Harriet, her unkind cut at Miss Bates. We know enough of Emma’s powers to be sure that she could put a spoke in the wheel of a Harriet-Knightley match, as she had prevented a Harriet-Robert Martin match. But she is not going to do that. For Mr. Knightley’s sake, for Harriet’s sake, she is ready to face the pain of hearing he loves Harriet, and the difficulty of encouraging him to be happy with the orphan girl of his choice. At last she is ready to listen, and to hear what he actually has to say. She is willing to make a sacrifice, and for that very reason she is saved from having to make it. (p. 104)

What Did She Say?

Babb writes of “the multiple ironies that arise when Mr. Knightley addresses himself to Emma more explicitly”:

For one thing, the principals work at cross purposes, Mr. Knightley trying to propose in spite of Emma’s unencouraging manner, and Emma fending off what she most wants because she fears him to be thinking of Harriet […]. A further irony inheres in Mr. Knightley's transposition of the roles to which he and Emma have been assigned through most of the novel. He now presents himself as the one governed by feeling—“I cannot be wise,” “I must tell,” “I may wish”—and Emma as the partisan of reason—“will not ask,” “determined to have no curiosity,” “wise.” In this characterization of Emma, however, Mr. Knightley speaks a truer sense than he perhaps realizes, for she now behaves with the richest integrity. For a brief moment her dread of losing him, perhaps mixed with some antagonism toward Harriet, rules Emma, and she begs Mr. Knightley not to speak. Yet she transcends this selfishness immediately, in part through an act of will, to be sure, but mainly through being almost literally moved beyond herself by her tenderness toward Mr. Knightley, and also by some sense of justice toward Harriet. Surrendering every chance for her own happiness, as she believes, Emma invites Mr. Knightley to go on. And she then learns, of course, that he loves no one but herself. Yet this fortunate result must not tempt us to undervalue what we have just witnessed: Emma shouldering her responsibilities fully in the gravest crisis that she ever endures. (p. 201)

Like McMaster, then, Babb sees this moment as a moral crossroads for Emma.

John Hagan, however, questions some moralizing readings of this scene. A conventional reading of Emma assumes that “Mr. Knightley has refrained from proposing marriage to Emma […] because heretofore he has not found her worthy of him […]. Once she has developed and reformed, however, and he has become aware of her maturation, he is ready and willing to accept her as his wife” (p. 558). Hagan argues that this interpretation is “inconsistent with the simplest facts of the plot. Because we, as readers, have been made privy by the author to the various stages of Emma’s development, it is extremely easy to forget that Mr. Knightley has not”--he does not know, for example, that Emma had envisioned Frank Churchill for Harriet, or that she has made “resolutions to reform” (ibid.). Thus Knightley’s decision to propose, “far from being the result of cool deliberation, of a reasoned recognition and acceptance of her maturation, springs entirely from impulse”:

There is not the slightest suggestion in the scene that the proposal is contingent in any way upon his approval of her growth. Her declaration that she has never loved Frank and the seeming encouragement given to Mr. Knightley’s hopes by her inviting him to speak are sufficient to release powerful emotions which have been pent up within him from the beginning of the scene, and which he can no longer control. Jane Austen, in fact, explicitly says as much: “He had come, in his anxiety to see how she bore Frank Churchill’s engagement, with no selfish view, no view at all, but of endeavouring, if she allowed him an opening, to soothe or to counsel her.--The rest had been the work of the moment, the immediate effect of what he heard, on his feelings” (432, my italics). It follows, obviously, that if he had had any reason earlier to believe that she was not in love with Frank, and if she had seemed earlier to encourage him, he would have proposed just as readily then as now. (p. 560)

Emma responds to Mr. Knightley’s declaration of his feelings with a remark that induces him to propose outright. Austen renders this dialogue indirectly in an (in)famous evasion of romantic climax: “What did she say?—Just what she ought, of course. A lady always does.—She said enough to show there need not be despair—and to invite him to say more himself” (p. 283).

Laura Buchholz notes that “[h]ere, there is a slight intrusion, as the narrator addresses the reader. It acknowledges the narrator’s consciousness of an audience only occasionally revealed in the novel. The visibility of the narrator as a physical agent briefly be comes more pronounced to the reader in this instance. Moreover, the result of this intrusion is that Emma’s actual response is withheld” (p. 215). Critics have many different readings of the significance of this moment. Wayne C. Booth writes that “[c]ritics have often objected […] to the presence of a persistent voice that could allow itself, at what conventionally should have been the moment of supreme passion, to undermine the conventional effects” in this way: “Some readers have considered such passages to be dodges, signs of Jane Austen’s own sexual inhibitions or lack of novelistic skill--poor woman, she just did not know how to write a love scene! I suggest instead that they are signs of a novelist who knows her double task: how to make a conventional form work, while making it work for matters unconventional” (1983, n.p.; see also 1961, pp. 114–5). The “conventional form” is, of course, the heterosexual marriage plot, with all its implications of subdued containment of Emma’s unruly imagination; the unconventionality is the anti-didactic implication that, though “Emma’s imagination is obviously dangerous, it is also an admirable loveable grace in a world dominated mostly by fools, knaves, and clods” (ibid.). For Paul Fry, “Emma’s unrecorded response is not really a disappointing evasion or reticence on the part of the narrator (as it is often thought to be), but a sign, rather, that at last Emma has joined Mr. Knightley and his house in exemplifying the value of appropriateness” (p. 139); for Rachel Brownstein, it is an illsory “promise of mastery over language” (p. 203).

The Whole Truth, and Nothing But the Truth

As matrimonial matters are being settled, Emma resolves not to reveal that Harriet purports to love Mr. Knightley. Partly on the strength of this detail, John Hagan argues that, contrary to the readings of critics such as Edgar Shannon, the changes Emma has undergone by the end of the novel do not represent a permanent and complete improvement or an attainment to perfection; Emma is written in a psychologically realist mode that does not allow for redemption to be “complete,” “full,” or static (pp. 545–6):

Now it is certainly tempting to interpret this silence on Emma’s part simply as generosity and compassion. By falling in love with Mr. Knightley, Harriet has acted foolishly, and therefore in what better way can Emma show kindness toward the girl than by at least concealing her folly from Mr. Knightley himself […]? But such an explanation oversimplifies. Emma’s own appearance in Mr. Knightley’s eyes is as much at stake as Harriet’s, and therefore her having played a part in encouraging Harriet’s infatuation establishes not only the duty of silence for Harriet’s sake, but the prudence of silence for herself. […] This is suggested partly by her thinking of her silence as a “service” (431), for that word and several others used more or less synonymously […] appeared frequently in the early chapters of the novel as an ironical commentary on the way in which Emma rationalized away the considerable element of self-interest and vanity in her seemingly benevolent concern for Harriet […]. Whenever Emma decides to perform a “service” for Harriet, these chapters forewarn us, we ought not to be too ready to accept Emma’s interpretation of her motives as the only reliable one. In fact, that “blush of sensibility” with which she greets Mr. Knightley’s praise of truth and sincerity gives her completely away.

Indeed, on the assumption that Emma's motive has been simply to protect Harriet's reputation, her decision to reveal everything to Mr. Knightley after their marriage is unintelligible: whether he is told now or later, Harriet’s image in his mind will still be tarnished. But if Emma's silence has also been prompted in large part by a desire to save her own face, then her decision makes perfect sense, for after she has secured Mr. Knightley this need not be as decisive a consideration as it was before. Presumably she will then be able to confess her sins with considerable assurance of ready absolution. Perhaps we are even to wonder whether Emma will confess at all! Is it not possibly a sly stroke of irony that Jane Austen speaks of nothing more than Emma’s intentions, and never actually tells us whether she carries them out? (pp. 549–50)

Emma’s reticence seems to be acknowledged in another famous remark that occurs towards the end of this section: “Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised, or a little mistaken…” (p. 283). We may well ask with Booth: “What kind of talk is that, coming just at the moment of romantic climax?” (1983, n.p.). Critics tend to consider this a direct statement on the part of the narrator of the central concerns of the text (see for example Duckworth (pp. 161–2); Babb (p. 14)). Elizabeth Sabiston writes that “[b]oth the internal evidence of the text, and the general critical reaction to it, would seem to suggest that this statement is at the heart of Jane Austen’s vision in Emma. As Emma recognises her limitations by the end of the novel, Jane Austen seems herself to be aware that, at the end, she is still leaving many questions unanswered” (p. 40).

The section is closed by an ironic aside on Mr. Knightley: “He had found her agitated and low.—Frank Churchill was a villain.—He heard her declare that she had never loved him. Frank Churchill’s character was not desperate.—She was his own Emma, by hand  and word, when they returned into the house; as if he could have thought of Frank Churchill then, he might have deemed him a very good sort of fellow” (p. 284). This passage is commonly called up by critics who wish to emphasize that Knightley is not, as some commenters claim, a man without fault or a character at whom the irony of the text is never pointed. Bennett, for example, writes that Emma is a “satire of romances” (p. 249) in which Knightley plays a part because he, as evidenced by this quick turn-around, is “not a paragon of virtue and reason, as all heroes of romantic novels must be” (p. 250). Claudia Johnson writes that “Mr. Knightley is just as apt as Emma to misconstrue where his interest is at stake, investing his upstart rival with the extremely literary character of the heartless cad. But Frank goes from ‘villain’ to ‘not desperate’ to a ‘very good sort of fellow’ in a matter of moments as soon as Knightley learns that Emma never loved him” (p. 140).

Discussion Questions

Do you see any other moments of misunderstanding or of double meaning in this conversation?

Is Emma correct that she has always been “safe” from Mr. Churchill, or is she rewriting her own erotic history?

Does Emma really intend to tell Mr. Knightley of Harriet’s attachment? Why does she originally resolve not to?

What is the purpose of the wry asides in this section (“What did she say?…”; “Seldom, very seldom…”; “He had found her agitated…”)? To what extent, if any, do they undermine the novel’s romance?

Bibliography

Austen, Jane. Emma (Norton Critical Edition). 3rd ed. Ed. Stephen M. Parrish. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, [1815] 2000.

Babb, Howard S. “Emma: Fluent Irony and the Pains of Self-Discovery.” In Jane Austen’s Novels: The Fabric of Dialogue. Columbus: Ohio State University Press (1962), pp. 175–202.

Bennett, James R. “‘Doating on You, Faults and All’: Mr. George Knightley.” Studies in the Novel 5.2 (Summer 1973), pp. 248–50.

Booth, Wayne C. “Point of View and the Control of Distance in Emma.” Nineteenth-Century Fiction 16.2 (September 1961), pp. 95–116. Repr. in The Rhetoric of Fiction. 2nd Ed. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1983, pp. 243–66.

_____. “Emma, Emma and the Question of Feminism.” Persuasions 5 (1983), pp. 29–40.

Brownstein, Rachel M. “Why We Reread Jane Austen.” In Why Jane Austen? New York: Columbia University Press (2011), pp. 195–236.

Duckworth, Alistair M. “Emma and the Dangers of Individualism.” In The Improvement of the Estate: A Study of Jane Austen’s Novels. Baltimore, ML: John Hopkins Press, 1971, pp. 145–78.

Fry, Paul H. “Georgic Comedy: The Fictive Territory of Jane Austen’s Emma.” Studies in the Novel 11.2 (Summer 1979), pp. 129–46.

Grossman, Jonathan H. “The Labor of the Leisured in Emma: Class, Manners, and Austen.” Nineteenth-Century Literature 54.2 (Sep., 1999), pp. 143–64. DOI: 10.2307/2903098.

Hagan, John. “The Closure of Emma.” Studies in English Literature, 1500–1900 15.4 (Autumn 1975), pp. 545–61. DOI: 10.2307/450010.

Johnson, Claudia L. “Emma: ‘Woman, Lovely Woman, Reigns Alone’.” In Jane Austen: Women, Politics, and the Novel. Chicago: University of Chicago Press (1988), pp. 121–43.

Korba, Susan M. “‘Improper and Dangerous Distinctions’: Female Relationships and Erotic Domination in Emma,” Studies in the Novel 29.2 (1997), pp. 139–63.

McMaster, Juliet. Jane Austen the Novelist: Essays Past and Present. London: Macmillan Press (1996).

Sabiston, Elizabeth Jean. The Prison of Womanhood: Four Provincial Heroines in Nineteenth-Century Fiction. New York: Palgrave Macmillan, 1987.

Shannon, Edgar F. “Emma: Character and Construction.” PMLA 71.4 (September 1956), pp. 637–50. DOI:10.2307/460635.

Stovel, Bruce. “Comic Symmetry in Jane Austen’s Emma.” Dalhousie Review 57.3 (1977), pp. 453–65.

Stroup, William. “‘I Live Out of the World’: The Problem of Nature in Emma.” The Wordsworth Circle 28.3 (Summer 1997), pp. 155–62. DOI: 10.1086/TWC24043941.

#Emma #Jane Austen #Emma Woodhouse #Mr. Knightley #Frank Churchill #Harriet Smith #e

[smallblueandloud]

I posted 4,246 times in 2022

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I tagged 4,245 of my posts in 2022

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

like. yeah, okay, the ot3 is never going to be canon. we know this. we accept this. it's already a lot more than i thought we'd ever get in this day and age

BUT EVEN SO

eliot is just? so CLEARLY a part of the parker-and-hardison unit? they're a FAMILY! he and parker join breanna in teasing hardison! he and hardison have mandated Stealing Practice with parker! he had matching halloween costumes with them, for god's sake!!

like, yeah, the ot3 is never going to be confirmed as Fully Romantic, and that's a bit of a bummer. but these characters are a family anyway. parker and hardison's romantic relationship NEVER comes above their relationships with eliot. he's part of their unit! and that's so special

92 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

#4

See the full post

99 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#3

i love rewatching firebringer because you can hear the audience get dead silent for the chorn part. all the laughter after that part is either slightly quieter than usual or much more hysterical than usual (because of the leftover shock of chorn). can you imagine. you spend months excited to watch starkid's newest musical about prehistoric society and in the last ten minutes it very briefly becomes a beautifully sung scifi opera before it IMMEDIATELY dovetails back into the emotional arc of the show. i would lose my shit.

150 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#2

also just like. more and more, i am convinced that the way i headcanon cosette's personality isn't just interesting for me but is actually canonically supported? like, yes, she's the most classic Blonde(tm) i can think of, but also i think she's always aware of her situation and how she can affect it in a way that marius, bless his heart, just isn't. and i have receipts!

[tried to make this a bulleted list but tumblr mobile apparently CANNOT handle those anymore so! guess we're doing this formatting now]

first off, the entirety of in my life. "what's the matter with you, cosette?" shows a self-awareness that i wouldn't expect from her if she were just her archetype. immediately after, she laments how she doesn't know what her situation is, and it's making her antsy. later, she questions her father about his past, and he blows her off in a way that implies she's asked these questions before. she also criticizes him for seeing her as a child, which he ignores. (specifically i'm thinking of the way she says "i'm no longer a CHILD, and i long for the truth that you know!")

secondly, the general theme in a heart full of love of marius representing doubt and cosette representing stability. see: "i am lost" / "i am found", and "do i dream?" / "i'm awake". later, she actually seems to lead marius to realizing this is real, beginning the "and it's not a dream" line and then letting him join in.

then there's the attack on rue plumet. which, okay, we know i am obsessed with, but also the cosette characterization implied there FASCINATES me. let's go over the events of that song and the previous one from her perspective, shall we? she meets her idiot love-at-first-sight at her gate and has a beautiful duet with him. then, while she's gazing soulfully into his eyes, they hear a scream. he appears to recognize it, identifying the screamer as his friend éponine, who's trying to warn them that someone's coming. (ignoring the possibility that she recognizes the name as her childhood friend's,) marius disappears and immediately her father shows up, panicked about the scream. cosette, without hesitation, shifts tunes to a comforting song, claims that it was HER scream, and then uses her childhood melody to slip in the fact that it was three men she saw that he should look out for.

it's my theory that she does this -- literally and musically aging herself down -- to calm him down, because there's no way she did it out of the joy of her heart: she literally SAYS several songs earlier that she doesn't enjoy being treated as a child. the only reason it DOESN'T calm him down, why it instead makes things worse, is because she accidentally trips over his javert feelings, something she also told us she doesn't know anything about.

and then, of course, there's a heart full of love (reprise). where marius is drowning in his sadness and unanswered questions and cosette tries to pull him out of it. she starts off with their love melody (a heart full of love) and then reminds him, "and it wasn't a dream", which marius actually! starts off with her, instead of her having to pull him into it! she sees how he's feeling, sees how to pull him out of it, and does it successfully! i am a big fan of looking at when characters use leitmotifs and whether they're doing it "on purpose" -- i don't think valjean and javert, for example, use each other's tunes on purpose, i just think they're similar. but cosette is definitely someone who would be aware of what leitmotifs she uses, or as "aware" as a character in a musical can be, and i like that a lot about her!

158 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

oh ALSO i recently realized for the first time that hades challenging orpheus to not doubt eurydice on their way back to the surface is... him challenging orpheus to be better than hades himself. just like orpheus will always turn around, hades will always grow jealous again. hades let persephone go to the surface because people were starving but now cannot bear to have her leave him to go to the surface... orpheus lost eurydice to the underworld because she was hungry but now cannot believe she might follow him in the dark again...... i am thinking INTENSELY

194 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#year in review #false #2022 #tumblr stuff #this is me #long post #this is...... fascinating. love how xmen is my true top tag though #and the leverage ot3 post made it! even though it was made literally like two weeks ago. a WIN!!

[flowerslut]

Hi!!! Loved CotN (binged the whole series in 2 days), and had one question that's bugged me since: you mention that Jasper's *only* fears relate to Alice, and that's why Skye can't fully crack him until his fears become reality and he kills her. But what if he had never met Alice? Did he have no fears before her, or he did it's just that they were insignificant in the face of meeting Alice? What would've happened with Skye - would he have been easier or more difficult to crack? (sorry if sent 2x

TWO DAYS god that's so fast for how long it is 😭😭 thanks so much for reading it and I'm glad you loved it!

IMO even canon Jasper has a very... unique experience with all emotion but especially fear. for a vampire he hasn't lived too long; 160 years sounds like a long time, but there are vampires in the Twilight universe who are literal millennia old. when you 'grow up' (for lack of a better term) as part of the southern wars and that's your introduction into vampirism, you're sort of exposed to a lot of the brutal shit that gets glossed over in 95% of the Twilight saga. you aren't going to find yourself scared of too much when you're arguably one of the scariest things around.

even Edward, remarking at one point in Midnight Sun when they're rushing to the ballet studio says “As a man of peace, Jasper struggled. But as a man of war, he was more that I'd ever imagined.” because despite the circumstances—and I'm assuming, despite the potent fucking fear Edward was experiencing—Jasper was making it so that entire stolen car full of vampires was utterly fucking focused on their mission. (and if the focus was somewhat-inspired by a certain someone's excitement willingness to finally get to murder another vampire after so long, that's for Edward and Jasper to know, and for us to only just guess about 👀)

but of course your question is about CotN Jasper, so I'll try to stay on topic here. in order to understand that part I think I have to explain more about Skye and her ability. I go into it pretty decently in Walk in the Dark, but there are still some things I both left vague and haven't fully had the opportunity to go into more depth about. she has the passive part of her ability, where she can walk into a room and low-key clock everyone's fear in the vicinity without even really trying too hard. it's not like unlike Jasper's ability in a way and it has some similarities to Edward's too. she can't turn it off, but she can focus it.

get ready for some Skye lore bestie 😛

in Call of the Night we're introduced to Skye's ability because Alice can't see Jasper when he's "under". I've never fully explained what that means in detail I don't think (but if I have, and if that contradicts anything I'm about to say, forget about that: this is the Real Lore) but when a person is "under" her ability it means that she has full reign of a portion of their subconscious. whichever part that is in charge of fear; I don't know what part that is since I don't know jack shit about the actual mechanics of the brain, sorry about that. (edit: I googled it, and it's the amygdala apparently. fun!)

Skye's ability is a fully mental/psychic one. (which is why at the end of CotN, Bella is able to give Jasper a few vital hours of precious clarity immediately post-battle.) where Edward is able to hear people's thoughts like spoken words, Skye is able to see people's fears; it's not unlike how Alice can see people's futures. they play out for Skye like a fast-paced vision that goes through her mind in an instant where she can look across a room and think "oh wow that guy really is convinced his wife is going to cheat on him with her coworker huh?" or "plane crashes? really? how original". the only catch is that when she's focusing in on these people directly it doesn't go unnoticed. Alice remarks upon the strange but faint tingling sensation that occurs in chapter 10 of Walk in the Dark when Skye tries to quite literally scare her off by reciting to Alice what her selfish fears are.

but remember: this is the relatively harmless part of her ability. (harmless to others, at least.) Skye can also force you to fully live these fears that occupy space in your brain. whatever you're afraid of, whatever would scare you, whatever is something that would cause panic or anxiety, Skye can make your brain experience these the same way that she can 'see' those very fears play out when she's detecting them. it causes the victim to lose full control over themselves and they remain trapped in an endless loop of what are essentially nightmares.

Skye is a relatively new vampire. she's only been around for a few years. the ability of hers is something that she only barely knows how to control. we even see in a vision of Alice's where Maria is frustrated by Skye's inability to control Jasper the way she needs her to, and Skye remarks "That’s not how this works, you know that’s not how this works!" because Skye is using her ability the only way she knows how to, by cycling the victim through their nightmares as much as she can to create a sort of helpless comatose state. it puts them in a state that makes manipulation easy because they become so wrapped in this alternate-reality where they're so entrapped by these horrors that telling dream from reality becomes as hard as telling up from down. (I explore this slightly in a very spoiler-heavy CotN AU in which the final battle doesn't go well.)

and as the use of the active ability increases, and as the target becomes more accustomed to what they're experiencing, it makes things more and more... interesting for sure. (with enough exposure, Jasper was able to become the killing machine that he was by the climax of the story) I won't get too into this part of the lore, because it becomes a little spoilery for Friends with the Fire and I want to keep you guys still wondering a liiiiittle bit over the next couple of years 🤠

now, is losing Alice his only fear? not exactly. if we look back up at the point I made above, Jasper has been through some rough experiences. and by rough I mean that canonically by the Saga's standards Jasper was "undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind." in that scene in Twilight he even goes on to tell Bella that no matter where he was, whether it was with Maria or just living as a nomad, fear was a constant companion of his. he felt it from every person he fed on. in both the actual Twilight saga and the CotN one, Jasper has had to face fear in a way that others don't have to. because of this, he's able to be more objective about his own emotion.

does that mean he doesn't care about his fellow Protectors? no, not at all. but he isn't afraid of losing them since he knows how capable they are, as fighters and just as vampires maneuvering through their strange lifestyle. some of them have even faced Jasper in battle on opposite sides fighting in a way; Jasper isn't scared of them getting hurt or dying. it doesn't mean he doesn't want them in harms way or that he doesn't care, but he knows that being anxious over their safety is a little silly. (Esme is a notable exception to this, and we'll look more into that, again, in FwtF.)

but Alice is a curveball. she has existed in a constant state of fight or flight and has "chosen flight" her entire life in an attempt to avoid, what she considers, her inevitable demise. as Jasper gets to know Alice, and as Jasper learns that Alice's visions are real, and uncanny, and scarily accurate, Jasper starts to get uneasy. and when Jasper begins to develop feelings for her, that uneasiness transforms into horror at the idea of hurting her.

the reason that Skye was so set on using the "him killing Alice" thing to crack Jasper is because it's so goddamn prevalent in his mind, that it's quite literally the only thing she can find that she knows will provide Maria with any form of potential permanent results. and even then, Skye is just doing her best. this gift is new, her control is heavily practiced and trained, but it's only been a couple of years and she's doing everything she can to make it through to sunrise each day.

fear, as an emotion, is something that our brains have developed to protect us from danger. throughout the entirety of CotN, fear is Alice's biggest companion since it's her largest hurdle, but fear is also very prevalent in Jasper's life, too, since he's had to face all of his in order to continue living the life he does. I think they're interesting foils in CotN because of this little detail. Alice meets Jasper and has to face her fears for the first time in her life. Jasper meets Alice and quickly develops a real, concrete fear for the first time in decades.

Maria tasking Skye with "cracking" Jasper—the one person on the goddamn planet who knows how to maneuver around feeling a constant aura of horror and fear—for me feels like a university professor giving an advanced biochemistry exam to an average fifteen year old. there's no way in fucking hell she's going to pass that test. but Skye is a determined little devil and she's more clever than she gives herself credit for and she was going to do everything in and out of her power to figure something out. too bad for Maria that since Skye has to also go through Jasper's nightmares along with him as he does, she formed an attachment to him. but this attachment, no matter how fucked and wild, is the only thing that keeps Alice alive in the end.

TLDR;

if Skye had been tasked with trying to "crack" a Jasper who hadn't met Alice and fallen in love? she would have reported back to Maria that first day that it was a pointless endeavor and something that would take far, far longer than they had time for. (their next step likely would've been tracking down Peter/Charlotte as a backup and then killing all of the Protectors one by one. again, a nearly impossible feat is what it would have been. and even if it had been possible, it would've taken them years, assuming that the Volturi or another country wouldn't step in to help before then)

Jasper isn't fearless, but there isn't a fear he has that he hasn't faced head-on because of who he is and where he came from.

anyways, listen to my Skye-inspired playlist nightmare induction because it's chock full of bangers and I listened to it twice while replying to this message lmfao

#cotn #heavy spoilers my dudes #jalice fanfiction

[konjugaltdien]

15 questions, 15 tags (or something like that??)

Thank you for the tagging @frodothefair !! This was fun. 🥰

Are you named after anyone?

No, not that I know of, but I do know my dad was the one who came up with my name. :)

Do you have kids? No, and I'm at that point in my life where I'm not actively planning to have one.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yeah, sarcasm is great. :D It's one of my love languages at this point.

When was the last time you cried? The day before yesterday. I'm learning how to cope with overstimulation and let steam off in a healthy way. :) But I'm a very emotional person in general.

What is the first thing you notice about other people? Hmm, great question! I'd say general clothing. Plain as is, I love seeing and thinking about how people dress. I wouldn't say I'm a fashionista, but in the recent years I've been having a newfound appreciation for fashion and how to self-express with it. Love commenting on people looking great, too! :)

Eye colour: Dark green with a brownish centre

What sports do you/have you played? Testing my gf's patience daily, haha. Unfortunately none and I'm also not the sporty type. Would be lovely to get into some, thinking about swimming and/or tennis.

Any special talent? Don't know if it could be classified as one, but I have good memory involving music and little details about others. :)

Where were you born? Hungary, in a small town. Been living in Prague for a few months due to work. :)

Scary movies or happy ending? Why are these two mutually exclusive though. :D Both! Whatever my mood calls for, but I do have a tendency to lean towards scary stuff.

Do you have any pets? Nope and we cannot have any in our recent flat :( Me and gf have been discussing what pet to get once we can!

How tall are you? How short is more fitting xd Around 160 cm... I think that's like 5 foot 3/4 or something??

What are your hobbies? Reading, listening to music and video editing :)

Favourite subject at school? Loved English and Literature:)

Dream job? I'd love to be either a bookshop owner or a librarian, but this is not what life had in store for me apparently xd I enjoy my current job very much, though. I think I overall feel best when it's a healthy balance between having to interact with people and having the possibility to be on your own. :)

Ah dude I lost the original post somewhere, but if I'm counting correctly, all 15 questions have been answered :) I don't think I have 15 people I'd like to or can tag xd but @mizuri-yuruseno , @it-all-begins-with-a-dream , @doodlinglina , @foxy-the-cat , @captainbuttercup96 , @sheenawilde you feel like answering these, great, if not, great as well!!

[naman19rawat]

One Day in the Grand Canyon

“Beautiful doesn’t begin to describe it. A flower is beautiful. But this is beautiful the way a person is beautiful – terrifying with its jagged edges, yet seductive with its crevices that hide so many secrets.”   

       - Jeri Smith-Ready on the Grand canyon

There aren't enough terms in the dictionary to describe the emotions that the Grand Canyon generates in everyone who has seen this magnificent destination. The huge expanse and the valley it surrounds, the height of the colossal canyon walls that make you feel like you would genuinely soar if you jump, all covered in colourful jagged rock formations. The Grand Canyon is a must-see for anyone who wants to see nature and her creations in their natural state unmarred by men. 

At least one day in Grand Canyon is on every travel bucket list. While adventurous hikers and outdoor lovers may require more time, people on a tight schedule may see a lot in just one day in the Grand Canyon, and it will give you more than enough time to appreciate one of the world's natural wonders. 

In this article, we tell you all the absolutely must-do and must-see things at the Grand Canyon that you can fit into your itinerary in a day. Let's go.

Watch the sunset at Grandview Point

Start your one-day visit to Grand Canyon by watching the sunrise from Grandview Point, which bathes the layered landscape in golden light. The apparent advantage of starting the route at sunrise is that you will be treated to a magnificent start to your day. You also have a lot of ground to cover in a single day, so getting up early in the morning when the temperatures are mild and the light is optimal is well worth the effort.

Drive on the Desert View

Drive to the end of the Desert View Road from Grandview Point. In 30 minutes, you'll arrive at the Desert View Watchtower; take a moment to roam about and take in the view while the light is still decent. When you're ready, take the Desert View Drive back to Grand Canyon Village, stopping at the numerous viewpoints along the way. You have enough time to visit all of them, but Moran Point and Navajo Point are the most popular and considered the best. However, there are several nameless viewpoints that are equally wonderful.

Grand Canyon Village

The Grand Canyon Village is a tangle of shops and eateries, including a market and deli, cafes, restaurants, and even taverns.  There are just too many to list, but if none of these seem appealing, the town of Tusayan is only 15 minutes away and offers a diverse range of options, including most of the chains found in major tourist regions. There are also some paths and vistas available from the Grand Canyon Village, the most popular of which being Mather Point.

The South Rim Trail

The South Rim Trail can be used to walk from the village to Hermit's Rest, which is only 8 miles long. Even if you don't want to walk the entire route, if you have the time and the weather is beautiful, you might want to consider stretching your legs a bit. Visit the Hermit's Rest tourist shop, take in the scenery, and then either ride the shuttle back to the viewpoints or take a walk along the South Rim Trail which would be worth it.

Sunset at Pima Point

Consider taking the 1-mile hike from Hermit's Rest to Pima Point to end your Grand Canyon day tour with a sunset view. If you still have time and stamina, continue walking from Pima Point to Monument Creek Vista for another 1.8 miles.

Micro Blogs:

The Grand Canyon is located in the southwestern part of the Colorado Plateau, which covers a vast chunk of the southwest United States and is made up primarily of horizontal stratified rocks and lava flows. The canyon's huge, beautifully sculpted valley has a myriad of magnificent peaks, buttes, gorges, and ravines between its outer walls. It stretches from the mouth of the Paria River near Lees Ferry, Arizona's northern border with Utah, to Grand Wash Cliffs, with widths ranging from 175 yards (160 metres) to 18 miles (29 kilometres).

The Grand Canyon's deepest parts are more than a mile (6,000 feet [1,800 metres]) below its rim. The river's deepest and most magnificently scenic segment, 56 miles (90 kilometres), is found in Grand Canyon National Park's middle section, which stretches from Lake Powell (created by Glen Canyon Dam in 1963) to Lake Mead (formed by Hoover Dam in 1936). The North Rim is 1,200 feet (365 metres) higher than the South Rim, at roughly 8,200 feet (2,500 metres) above sea level.

#grand canyon

[psychewritesbs]

Chapter 160: How much of Yuji’s life has been orchestrated? + Megumi the stage-five clinger

Happy JJK-Sunday!

If I had to describe chapter 160 with as few words as possible, I would say: Oh f*ck...

My favorite moment was, of course, Megumi acting like a stage-five clinger. His interaction with Yuji in this chapter is especially ominous in light of Yuji being adamant of protecting Megumi from Sukuna.

A second favorite was Sasaki showing up in this chapter because of the implications moving forward.

Let’s jump right in. 

How much of Yuji’s life has been orchestrated by Kenjaku?

We start the chapter with Kenjaku talking to none other than Sasaki, one of the members of the Occult Club at the high school in Sendai that Yuji used to attend.

Of course, the bomb that Gege dropped on us in this chapter is when Kenjaku thanks Sasaki “for getting along with my son”. 

Like... excuse you?

Not only does this 100% confirm that Kenjaku used Yuji’s mother’s body to give birth to him, but this specific moment + some foreshadowing from previous chapters also opens an interesting can of worms about Yuji’s life: just how much of Yuji’s life has Kenjaku orchestrated?

For me, the implication is that Sasaki had an assigned role to play in Yuji’s life that would inevitably lead to him eating Sukuna’s finger. 

I am assuming this because although we don’t see Kenjaku’s interactions with the other people in Sendai, we get to see that, in addition for thanking her for getting along with Yuji, Kenjaku is incredibly kind to Sasaki. We also learn that she’s the only one who has received a special message from him (thanking her).

Ready to make this whole interaction more ominous? Someone pointed out that the kanji in Sasaki’s name means assistant. 

All of this brings us right back to Yuji’s free will--or lack thereof?

We already know that Kenjaku claims he made Yuji “ingest” Sukuna’s finger and that Megumi is rightfully concerned with this idea because he witnessed Yuji eat Sukuna’s finger “of his own free will.”

It’s also becoming increasingly obvious that Yuji was "created” solely for the purpose of becoming Sukuna’s vessel. 

What this new reveal about Sasaki does is that it makes everything feel like certain events have been part of Kenjaku’s master plan all along. While this still feels a little farfetched, it will come down to how Gege works this idea into the story moving forward.

Come to think of it, even Yuji’s grandfather’s dying words to Yuji take on a new meaning since we know Wasuke knew something was definitively up with Yuji’s mother.

Another possible bit of foreshadowing all the way in chapter 1: While the intersection in the second panel below could be ANY intersection in Japan, it sure looks like the Shibuya crossing:

A quick note on the importance of kanji meanings in JJK before moving onto the next section: knowing the meaning of Sasaki’s name tells us that names are important in JJK. If you haven’t, I recommend you read my break down on the meaning of Megumi’s FULL NAME. His first name is important, but so is his last name.

The plans moving forward

Going off to Tokyo Colony #2 are Panda and Hakari. 

As the strongest, Hakari feels like he should take on Hajime. As for Panda, it looks like his focus will be on hunting down Angel.

Side note: I love that Hakari is still calling Megumi names. Guess Senpai can’t help himself.

I must admit I was disappointed to find that Kirara will stay behind to report, but it is what it is. I am assuming Gege could see no use for Kirara and decided to leave the character out of the action for the time being. 

As for Megumi and Yuji, they’ll be heading to Tokyo Colony #1 to target Higuruma, everybody’s new favorite Law & Order boss. 

This brings us to Megumi’s current state of mind...

Megumi the stage-five clinger

I had a hard time coming up with the title for this section because what I see happening is that Megumi is starting to feel the pressure of the looming deadline for Tsumiki joining the Culling Game. What his behavior shows, however, is that he needs Yuji with him and is clinging onto him but won’t come out and say it--opting instead for aggression towards Yuji, the very same person he needs most. 

His behavior reminded me of how Megumi could be mean to Tsumiki even though he clearly adores her. Apparently that’s the meaning of being tsundere. I’ve read about the term tsundere before but it never “clicked” until this moment and I just love Gege’s interpretation of the trope through Megumi’s character. 

It goes without saying that it was REALLY interesting to me to see Megumi’s dynamic and interaction with Yuji in this chapter because it looks like Gege is letting us know Megumi’s state of mind continues to be one of desperation--remember that dogeza bow from chapter 157?

The thing about Megumi is that he looks stoic on the outside, but he’s actually an incredibly emotional person who doesn’t often show how he’s feeling. 

I hadn’t caught on, but in chatting with @justafrenchlondoner​ about the chapter, they pointed out Megumi’s behavior in his dynamic with Yuji appears nervous and aggressive.

Upon a second look I have to agree that Megumi is acting out of character and aggressive with Yuji when all that Yuji really wants is to protect Megumi from Sukuna.

And yes, let me go ahead and sound like a broken record as I remind you of Yuji’s rather ominous words from chapter 143 yet again:

And this is the part of the chapter that knocked the air out of me: Megumi telling Yuji to stfu about Sukuna but Yuji thinking to himself “as long as I’m around you will suffer” back in ch143 is so damn ominous.

Oh f*ck...

But this is what REALLY gets me about this whole interaction and why I’m calling Megumi a stage-five clinger...

Even though Megumi is calling Yuji selfish, in reality, the one being selfish is Megumi.

This is, of course, my own interpretation of the situation, but to me it feels as though Megumi is clinging onto Yuji’s strength for dear life. 

It’s almost like Megumi needs not just Yuji’s physical strength, but also his unwavering conviction or mental strength.

If you think about it, Megumi has only recently started fighting to win. Remember how unsure he was of himself when fighting Sukuna for the first time? It wasn’t until he went up against the Cursed Spirit from the Yasohachi bridge that he let go of his inhibitions.

Megumi’s battles during Shibuya were the pinnacle of his growth as a character in that moment. If I remember correctly, according to the timeline of events, the Shibuya incident happened around two weeks prior to the current chapter. You could say that although he is more comfortable in his strength than before, Megumi is still growing into his strength at this point.

The thing about Megumi is that everybody and their Divine Dog believes in him and sees his potential except for him. As Gojo tells him “you undervalue yourself.”

Looking back, the way Megumi asks begs Yuji for help in chapter 143 is very enlightening of how Megumi needs Yuji’s strength: 

I initially had read this to mean Megumi needed Yuji’s physical strength. Upon second look, however, Megumi has always seemed to have admiration for Yuji’s conviction.

With the looming deadline for Tsumiki’s vow to join the Culling Game, as Megumi starts to feel the pressure to make his plan work, who better to keep around than the person who will always go for the home run and whose strength he admires?

In other words, like hell he’s going to let Yuji leave his side. Which, again, only makes it more heartbreaking to think Sukuna is up to no good regarding Megumi and Yuji wants to protect him from that.

Oh f*ck.......

The panel below feels like a bit of a lighthearted and comical moment, but it’s also interesting to note that this is the second time they “fight”.

The first “fight” having taken place during the Cursed Womb Arc.

If you will remember, Gege used the Cursed Womb Arc and the Origin of Obedience Arc to show us how much our favorite trio had grown. 

Not sure Gege is going to parallel something here again, but just interesting to note.

Oh f*ck...

Ya, please excuse the French.

Despite the many words I’ve shared here, this chapter left me mostly speechless. 

I feel like I’ve been trapped in Gojo’s limitless domain expansion and all I can think is “oh f*ck” or “halloween” (if you catch my drift).

Chapter 160 was incredible because it looks like Gege has finally finished putting all his pieces into place and is ready to go for the kill by: 

Starting to unravel the story bit by bit, giving us all of the twists we both saw and did not see coming, and

Ramping up the stakes. Taking into consideration the estimates that JJK is somewhere around 60-70% done at this point, It’s not a matter of whether some of our beloved characters will die, but about who, when and how they will die

One last detail

I love the last four panels of the chapter showing Panda, Hakari, Yuji and Megumi all wearing their uniforms (barring Panda) and getting ready to become official participants of the Culling Game by entering their respective barriers.

Knowing that Gege is a very talented artist capable of showing and expressing emotions through his art, I feel like these panels tell us a lot about what the characters might be thinking and I thought I’d expand on that. 

Bear in mind this is my personal interpretation as an artist:

Panda looks excited and ready to fight, perhaps even confident. Panda is saying “bring it!” with his body language

There’s a hint of something I can’t describe in Hakari’s face. It’s almost like he’s coming face to face against how big of a challenge this is going to be and yet he’s resolved to walk straight into “the depths of hell itself”

Yuji looks focused, determined to go in and give it his best no matter what comes his way--that’s just who he is

And then there’s Megumi. I’ve been drawing Megumi recently, and one thing I noticed is that he has very specific micro-expressions. In his panel, he’s warming up his wrists as though he’s getting ready to fight, he has a focused look on his face, but the shadows around his eyes say he might be feeling like he is carrying the heavy burden of the uncertainty surrounding the situation he’s going through

With all that being said... the Culling Game is officially starting and we’re in for a one-way ride straight to hell.

Thank you for reading and happy JJK-Sunday!

What about you? What did you enjoy most about chapter 160?

#fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro #yuji itadori #itadori yuuji #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen manga #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #god i love jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen meta #jujutsu kaisen theory #jjk ch 160 #gege akutami #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #hakari kinji #jjk meta #jjk theory

[strawwritesfic]

Mukuro Rokudo x Kokuyo Gang!Reader: Mall

Summary: If and when dreams do come true, it’s when you least expect them.

Rating/Warnings/Tags: All (Post-Inheritance Ceremony Arc; established Mukuro/Reader; Reader & Chrome; Mukuro & Chrome; Chikusa & Ken & Chrome; exposition; no honorifics)

Challenge:  “160 Collective Drabbles” challenge by BobaPop on Lunaescence Archives.

Tag List: @imaginesfire

Mall

Things finally calmed down a little after the Simon returned Chrome. Given how chaotic things around Kokuyo Land could get on a good day, you never thought you’d long for some excitement, but with Ken and Chikusa gone…Well, you never missed the water until the well ran dry. They’d spent a good hour holed up with Chrome when she’d come home. Then they ran off to Italy without a word of explanation thrown your way.

Speaking of Chrome, she seemed different post-kidnapping. You expected the boys to ignore you, not her. She was the only reason you stuck around the abandoned amusement park–her, and the tiny detail that your boyfriend lived inside her head. 

Generally you considered her to be a good friend at best and company at worst. In the days following her abduction, she was neither. All Chrome seemed to wan to do was sit at a broken window at the front of the building and watch the path outside. You thought she might be waiting for someone, but whenever you asked her who she was was waiting for, her cheeks turned pink before she darted into a back room until she could be reasonably sure you’d lost interest in the subject.

As glad as you were to have Chrome back, you wished the Vongola had taken better care to bring her back whole. Or maybe her behavior was just a reasonable response to whatever it was the Shimon family had done to her before her rescue. Either way, she was much less prone to chat than ever before, and two weeks without Ken and Chikusa to break the silence started to see you go a little insane.

The trip to the mall was taken in the utmost desperation. When you invited Chrome along, you did so only because you expected her to reject the proposal so that she could stay home and keep a watch out for whatever it was she was expecting. She’d certainly never gone along with you on such trips before. Maybe she only agreed that time because M.M. wasn’t around to harass her; maybe she agreed only as a favor to you. You decided not to press the issue. At least you had succeeded in getting her out of the building.

But her heart clearly wasn’t in it. The two of you wandered through the crowded stores, poking at clothing you couldn’t afford and trying to avoid getting stepped on by other customers. Chrome’s face flicked between two different emotions: a worried look at your face and a serious look at the people crowding around her. 

An hour of this was more than enough for you. Defeated, you led her to the food court where you purchased a meal for each of you and settled in to watch her pick at it.

“Chrome,” you said at last.

The girl gave a start, blinked, then slowly dragged her single purple eye up to look at you.

“What’s going on?”

You expected her to answer "nothing" once more, and you expected her reply to hurt. Two years of living together should have made you friends, but apparently Chrome didn’t see you as one. To your very great surprise, however, she opened her mouth a few times, placed her fork gently next to her food, and slid her hands into her lap. After a very long silence during which she stared at them, she looked up again.

“Would you still like me,” she whispered, “if I didn’t have Lord Mukuro?”

The answer, of course, was yes, but you couldn’t manage to spit that out. A chill washed over your skin so strongly that you felt frozen to your chair. “Chrome. Did you lose Mukuro?”

She bit her lip as tears gathered in her eye. “I–”

“She lost him,” said a deep voice at the same time its owner placed their hand on your shoulder, “but perhaps he will not be so difficult to find.”

You turned swiftly to tell the creep behind you to back off–only to find Mukuro himself standing right there, smirking down at you. The surprise sent you to your feet. You looked back at Chrome. She still sat the table. You looked at Mukuro. He still stood next to you. Back and forth went your head, back and forth, but both Chrome and Mukuro remained solidly present at the exact same time.

“Is this one of your illusions?” you demanded of Chrome, taking a step away from Mukuro and toward the table.

He answered for her, just as he had before, but not with words. Once he'd closed the distance between you and him, he grabbed your chin with a gloved hand, forced it upward, and kissed you so hard that you saw stars. By the time he’d finished and you could see again, his smirk had grown even bigger.

“Kufufu. Did that feel like an illusion?” he asked.

“Chrome’s pretty good, you know,” you said shakily. “It’s possible.”

“Really, now, [Name]. Better than me?”

“But if you’re here, and she’s here’s, then…then…”

“Why don’t you tell her, my cute Chrome?”

“Lord Mukuro...” Chrome swallowed and sat up a little straighter. “Lord Mukuro is free!”

“Free?” you echoed. “Free how? Are those bandaged prison keepers going to show up and cart us all off? 'Cause I am not going to jail for you.”

“[Name],” Mukuro purred, pressing a hand to his chest. “It wounds me that you don’t believe me capable of earning my freedom through completely legitimate methods.”

Instead of answering that–because it was true; you didn’t believe Mukuro capable of earning his freedom through legitimate methods at all–you glanced back at Chrome for confirmation.

She smiled for the first time in weeks. “Lord Mukuro helped the Vongola, and Vendice set him free!”

“Free?” you said a second time. “Is this why you were acting so weird?”

She nodded.

“Why didn’t you just tell me? I’ve been worried sick!”

“Lord Mukuro wanted it to be a surprise.”

He chuckled again. “Surprised?”

“Ass,” you replied, but you pressed your palm to his cheek as you did. 

He was there, not mist, but skin and bones. You had him back, and what was more, you got to keep Chrome around, too.

And that was how you wound up crying into your convict boyfriend’s shoulder, in the middle of a crowded mall food court, while he laughed at you and your mutual friend smiled on as though nothing made her happier than seeing the two of you together.

#fan fic #straw writes #reader insert #second person pov #challenge fic #one shot #mukuro rokudo #katekyo hitman reborn #khr #reborn #mukuro #mukuro x reader #mukuro x you #mukuro x y/n #mukuro rokudo x reader #mukuro rokudo x you #mukuro rokudo x y/n #katekyo hitman reborn x #katekyo hitman reborn x you #katekyo hitman reborn x y/n #khr x reader #khr x you #khr x y/n #khr reader insert #katekyo hitman reborn reader insert

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 316: We've Had One, Yes, But What About Second Explosion

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “[powers up like whoa because it’s time to end the fight]”, and he saved Overhaul from getting not-shot, and then smashed up Nagant’s arm with the power of his new rechargeable super knees. Nagant was all “yoooo this kid is crazy strong whaaaat, it’s like he’s some kind of protagonist or something.” Deku was all “I AM A PROTAGONIST, ACTUALLY, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN FORCES AND FIGHT BAD GUYS WITH ME?” Nagant was all “ah shit why the hell no -- ” and then AFO was all “SURPRISE” and everyone was all “?!?!?!” and AFO was all “TIME TO EXPLODE NOW” and made Nagant explode because he’s an absolute fucking dick. And then Hawks showed up, because Horikoshi just wanted to stuff as many plot points as humanly possible into a single chapter I guess.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is all “good job giving motivational shounen redemption speeches Deku but I’ll take it from here” and screams very earnestly right in Nagant’s face until she finally wakes up. Nagant is all “oh hey it’s my successor, you seem surprisingly unfucked-up from your own HPSC tenure, how did you manage that?” Hawks is all “fandom is going to love hearing this one, but basically it’s because I’m very upbeat and also I had the world’s best role model Endeavor to look up to,” and I swear this man stirs the pot on purpose, but damn it I still love him so damn much. Overhaul is all “HELLO AGAIN, JUST A REMINDER THAT, THE BOSS!!” and Deku is all “MAYBE TAKE TWO SECONDS TO REFLECT ON HOW YOU TORTURED A LITTLE GIRL,” which, thank you, lol. Nagant is all “btw AFO’s hiding in a house in the woods”, and so Deku and the gang go to the house in the woods. Video recording!AFO is all “hi I’m AFO welcome to Jackass” and blows up the house. Sometimes I wonder if this manga is just a weird dream.

I am once again reading the Bean version because I think it was actually the best out of all three translations last week. and that is surprisingly including Viz’s. “faux” is not nearly as entertaining as “knockoff”, and also I have literally no idea why Caleb thought Deku was saying the Third’s lines lol

oh hey, Endeavor’s here too! not that you’d ever be able to tell from this first panel lmao

glad you received All Might’s call, mysterious unidentified glowing smudge

oh snap he says he’s weaker in the rain. is that why AFO told Nagant to attack then?? except that as we discussed the other day, I believe that AFO fully intended for Nagant to lose the fight, so him giving her info that would give her an advantage doesn’t really fit in with that. maybe he wanted Deku to be separated from Endeavor and the rest for maximum angst, though

btw Deku’s eyes are unsurprisingly back to the new normal here

alas, the angst continues. I say, pretending like I’m not totally eating it up each and every week and writing essay after essay about it lol

anyway so apparently Hawks can’t actually fly lmao. he was just yeeting himself with style

for some reason this is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen omfg. wave to Hawks, kids! say “bye, Hawks!”

j/k of course Deku is catching them. -- except???

wow so he was just running on fumes there at the end. well, good to know there is actually a limit to his shenanigans, particularly regarding this new “knockoff” 100% OFA. it will definitely not alleviate any of the discourse, but it’s good for my own peace of mind because it’s solid confirmation that he still needs his pals in order to win this thing

anyway, but on to the rest of this conversation, which is basically Deku deducing what we all deduced last week -- AFO implanted some sort of trap into Nagant when he gave her Air Walk. though I’d still like to get the actual details from AFO and/or Horikoshi, because this was particularly wild even by quirk standards lol

omgggggg

she still has a face after all!! so it’s confirmed, Horikoshi has no idea what “blowing up” actually means. we might have guessed, based on what happened to Toga in the MVA arc, and also based on everything Katsuki does ever, but shhh

so now Hawks is all “NAGANT PLEASE WAKE UP, IF I SHOUT MY NAME AT YOU WILL THAT DO THE TRICK”

this is actually kind of touching though because even though we all know (or most of us acknowledge at any rate) that Hawks is a pretty caring person, it’s rare to see him actually panic over someone’s welfare like this

oh shit Horikoshi is really doubling down on it

I wonder how much Hawks knew about what really happened between Nagant and the HPSC. regardless, he probably sees her as a kindred spirit of sorts, and I’m more than happy for Deku to pass the redemption torch onto him now that he’s on the scene. like no offense Deku but they actually know each other and stuff lol

DAMMIT NAGANT CAN’T YOU SEE HOW LOUD HE IS YELLING

apparently being freed from his HPSC shackles has finally given Hawks the space to embrace his own inner shounen protagonist. is there anything more shounen than trying to motivationally scream someone awake when they’re lying in your arms inches from death?? 100% guaranteed to work

!!! IS THIS NAGANT’S POV OMG

SO SHE IS ALIVE. THANK GOD. Horikoshi doesn’t want to meet with my emotional distress lawyer today after all

love how she’s all “just gonna stir up the weekly Hawks Discourse pot here by implying that he probably committed a lot of Atrocities just like I did, so now people can get all hopped up about that, even though there’s no evidence he’s ever killed anyone aside from that one horrible ‘damned-if-you-do...’ situation with Twice.” no one asked for your provocative speculation young lady!! trust me Nagant, our rabbles don’t need the rousing lol

but nice save there with the “so how are your eyes so untainted” well you see it’s because even when he was following the HPSC’s orders he always went to great lengths never to go against his own moral compass. which just to be clear was incredibly difficult, and led to a ton of pain and suffering on his part, because the life of a spy is basically just one impossible situation after another. but in spite of that he never stopped trying to do his best to help people. I don’t really know where this tangent came from or is leading to, lol, but anyway p.s.a. I love Hawks a lot and he’s a good kid dammit

oh shit??!?

how is the League always able to swing all these fancy forest mansions. where do they find them. how many do they have

so Deku’s dropping them -- very roughly, not sure if he was reacting to finally getting AFO’s location, or if his energy really is giving out -- and now Nagant’s saying that AFO hired other villains as well. well of course he did. gotta keep chipping away at OFA’s ninth successor little by little

now Nagant is asking Hawks how he’s able to keep making “that” face. I assume she’s again talking about the fact that he somehow didn’t let the HPSC wear down his spirit

oh my god???

thanks for stuffing this chapter to the brim with good nutritional Hawks Feels, Horikoshi. what a good. he just keeps on trudging forward undeterred no matter what bullshit comes his way. what a steadfast little guy. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM DISCOURSE MY SWEET SUNSHINE

lmaoooo

“SPOTTED THIS DUDE JUST CHILLING OUT THERE ON THE ROOF WITH NO ARMS, SEEMED PRETTY SUS” good job Endeavor

anyway so you don’t really need me to tell you that Overhaul is immediately starting in with the “BUT THE BOSS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE BOSS YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO THE BOSS” stuff again. but I will go ahead and tell you anyway. so yeah. he’s doing that

OMG YOU GUYS LOOK AT DEKU’S “of all the fucking assholes to just randomly drop in on my life once again why did it have to be you” FACE THOUGH, OMG

fun fact, if you go back to chapters 124 through 160, there was an entire story arc where Overhaul imprisoned and tortured a little girl. yeah, I know!! suuuuuuuuper evil. anyways just an interesting little anecdote for you all that’s somewhat relevant to the current situation

OMG, YES. FUCK YES, DEKU

THEN WHAT ABOUT SPARING ONE FOR HER!!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SOMEONE GETS IT

HERE’S THE PANEL OF DEKU SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING I’M SAYING LOL

(ETA: so apparently there’s some discourse about this because some people are interpreting this as Deku saying “you should apologize to Eri”, which would obviously be a terrible idea even if Overhaul actually wanted to do that, because Eri shouldn’t ever have to see him again. however I just want to point out that there is a HUGE difference between saying “it would be nice if you could direct that feeling of regret/being sorry towards Eri as well”, vs saying “you should also apologize to her.” all Deku is doing is rightfully pointing out that Overhaul has hurt way more people than just his boss, and if he really is remorseful, then he should extend those feelings of remorse to Eri and the rest as well. it’s not a directive to take any specific action, and I’m 1000% sure no one at U.A. would let Overhaul within 100 miles of Eri ever again.

tl;dr “try feeling remorse sometime” =/= “do you want me to fly you over to U.A. right now to surprise the little girl you traumatized”, lol.)

[slings an arm around Deku’s shoulders] you’re a good kid. I like you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough, but it’s true

meanwhile here is Overhaul’s “spare... a thought... for Eri...???????” face sigh

the struggle is real y’all

(ETA: and that’s... the last we ever saw of Overhaul, I guess? well all right then. I assume Deku will make good on his promise, so we know he’ll get that little bit of closure before going back to jail or whatever, and I confess I’m more than fine with leaving the rest of it open-ended, especially given his character’s history. I think this was pretty generous all things considered.)

lmao holy shit

All Might what did you do to those tiki torch guys?? did you thrash them. did you give ‘em those hands. did you deliver their own asses to them complete with a sticker reminding them Amazon Prime Day is on June 21. we missed out goddammit

so Endeavor, who wasn’t the one he was asking, is telling him that they captured (well let’s be real, Deku captured, give the credit where it’s due) Nagant and Overhaul. and so I guess they’re going to take Nagant to the ER now

fire is no one’s weakness

-- oh my GOD I scrolled down and audibly gasped

[is politely but firmly approached and asked to remove my arm from Deku’s shoulder by the physical manifestation of all this Dekuangst] “we’re sorry, he’s not allowed to have visitors right now” oh shit, my bad. [goes to stand behind a police barricade]

lmao what. did you run out of room on the previous page

what an exaggerated fade to black lmao

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually can’t see what he’s reacting to so maybe I’m just seriously jumping the gun here lol, but THE HELL WITH IT. the next panel appears to be a cut to Haibori Forest, so I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Deku ran off on his own all wounded to go have more Dekuangst, just like I manifested. now go call Katsuki goddammit

[scrolls three more inches down] oh

yeah so like I said, Deku is walking very slowly a few feet in front of Endeavor, who’s telling him to wait up. yep. we’ve all gotta be so careful to not just jump to conclusions. I know we’re excited but still

anyway, so! welcome back to Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods (ARE YOU GUYS DATING) and Edgeshot! have fun walking into this obvious trap lol

dammit Deku why are you so determined to tempt fate

[monkey puppet meme faces]

OH MY GOD THIS IS PURE GRADE-A CHEESY COMIC BOOK VILLAIN 101 SHIT AND I’M HERE FOR IT

that’s such a weird way of clapping who claps like that

unlike certain other people who shan’t be named, AFO doesn’t feel the need to inexplicably take his shirt off when recording sinister villain monologues. I think we’re all pretty grateful for that

high fives to everyone who called it!! yep yep

anyway so this whole scene has major booby-trap vibes, which I’m enjoying immensely even though I don’t think anything is really going to come of it lol. probably just another long-winded AFO Speech. but wouldn’t it be funny if like the ceiling started lowering down to try and squish Deku afterwards lol

(ETA: well the explosion was still pretty funny too ngl.)

ffff

[“Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies]

anyway so yeah. he’s just hitting up all of his usual villain talking points. we get it, you’re so smart and you see right through the thin veneers of society and people who don’t conform are left to fend for themselves and labeled as villains and history is written by the victors, and blah blah blah dude are you just jumping randomly from one soundbyte to another lol. literally what are you talking about. what does this have to do with you blowing up Nagant

-- holy shit??

[”Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies MORE?????]

LOL WHAT

BRO. WHAT IS WITH YOU. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO LAY ANY OTHER KIND OF FUCKING TRAP GOOD LORD

“YOU’RE NEXT” THE CALLBACK?? THE PARALLELS?? THOUGH WHEN ALL MIGHT POINTED HE MADE IT LOOK WAY COOLER. AFO’S POINTING JUST LOOKS LIKE SMOKEY THE BEAR

HAS ANYONE CHECKED IN ON KAMUI WOODS I HEAR HE IS WEAK TO FIRE?? THE ONLY ONE WHO IS, APPARENTLY

r.i.p. to this particular forest mansion. don’t worry they have a ton of backups

remember last week when I said maybe AFO thinks explosions are gauche. well never mind. he fucking loves explosions

anyway so that’s the end of BnHA, everyone. hope you enjoyed. it was a good ride while it lasted. see you all, good luck in your travels

#bnha 316 #hawks #takami keigo #lady nagant #midoriya izuku #all for one #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #manifesting 317 opening with a slightly modified version of my previous fantasy scenario lmao #'WHADDYA MEAN THEY BLEW UP THE NERD' #that's *his* job #sorry lol I kid I kid

[universallywriting]

Angry Steven Essay 1 - Ignoring Your Kids and the Consequences

A lot of people have been wondering why Steven is so angry, and where their sweet baby boy has gone, and I think people are struggling because they don’t understand how little they respected Steven before.

Because I don’t think that Steven has undergone a huge character shift. Admittedly, he’s angry more frequently now, but I don’t think his anger is bigger or more intense or any worse than it’s been at other points in the series. Steven’s feelings haven’t gotten bigger…

But Steven has.

I counted up all the times Steven gets angry in the series, being fairly charitable and not counting more minor moments of annoyance of frustration. I’ve got about 21 moments out of 160 episodes for the original series. Granted, that’s only once every seven episodes, but it’s not insignificant. The idea that Steven never gets angry is factually wrong. 

We see his temper the first time in Steven the Swordfighter, and it’s not a very wholesome look at the boy. He’s frustrated because Pearl is gone and Holo-Pearl isn’t a good replacement. And, already, I bet you’re starting to tune out a little. Because Steven’s being a stupid little kid, isn’t he? Pearl’s coming back. He’s just throwing a tantrum.

Tantrum is the word we give to anger and sadness we don’t respect. It’s a word we use to belittle and ignore children, even when their feelings are justified.

We see something similar in Rose’s Room. He screams at the gems because they ruin the ending of his video game. And, sure that’s a bummer Steven, but it’s just a game. There’s a big space opera out there, so why are you so worried about this? And yeah, you got mad that Greg lied to you in House Guest, but he just wanted to spend time with you. It’s a cute father/son moment, really. Steven is angry, sure, but it’s just kind of pitiful, isn’t it? Poor silly kid. He’s wrapped up in his little concerns when the world is so big and scary.

But you were on his side in Warp Tour. Because he’s right this time, so it’s not a tantrum. And you’re mad at the gems because they’re treating it as a tantrum. But here’s the thing - the gems should never treat him this way. Because so far? Every single one of Steven’s fears and struggles are valid and worthy of respect. Steven isn’t pitching a fit because they brought him a scarlet firetruck and he wanted a cherry firetruck. He’s hurt. That deserves respect and attention and apologies.

In Steven the Swordfighter, he’s struggling because one of his guardians is really hurt. Not only that, but she’s hurt in a way that she can’t talk to him, can’t let him know it’s going to be okay, and in her place is the thing that hurt her. You’ll also note that Amethyst and Garnet are conspicuously absent during all of this, because apparently the boy doesn’t need comfort and care after watching Bird Mom get wasted and spending days hovering over her unhatched egg. Steven is going through all this grief and fear alone.

In Rose’s Room, Steven is denied his chance to spend time with the gems after they promised. They don’t respect or value Steven’s time. Why would they? He’s a child. And clearly he proves his time is worthless by putting so much value in his silly video game he interrupted. What’s the ending of your stupid golf game matter when the plot it rolling along, Steven? Big, important adult things are here. Drop what you’re doing. Ignore your interests. What the gems are doing is more valuable than what you’re doing every single time.

This is a general trend. Warp Tour is the perfect encapsulation of the problem, because it’s finally important enough that Steven fights to be heard. The first thing to remember about this episode is that we, the audience, are placed on Steven’s side because we’ve seen what Steven has seen. We know he’s right. The gems, however, believe what Steven is saying to be impossible. From their perspective, Steven is saying that a masked man broke down their door last night. Be honest - if you knew a kid making that claim and the door was fine, are you going to take it seriously?

The problem in Warp Tour is not that the gems don’t believe him. It’s reasonable not to. The problem is the way they react to it. Amethyst groans and complains about how long it’s taking to make Steven feel better, making him feel like a burden. Pearl aggressively confronts him with evidence, treating him like they’re in a debate and he needs to be proven wrong. That makes him feel stupid, belittled and ignored. Garnet says that it’s important to make Steven feel secure, but even that is condescending and quietly insists that Steven is being irrational.

Even at the end, Garnet is the only one who even slightly makes amends, saying she should have listened to him while also not apologizing. Pearl and Amethyst don’t make amends at all. But do you know who does say sorry four times? Steven. Steven has been taught and continues to be taught that his feelings are secondary. The things in his life that are important aren’t really important compared to the serious grown up issues. 

The lack of apologies are consistent. In Keystone Motel, Ruby and Sapphire realize Steven is upset and make up with each other, but don’t make up with Steven. Don’t apologize to Steven. In Maximum Capacity, Amethyst never apologizes to Steven for shapeshifting into his dead mom. (Which, always and forever - What the hell, Ame?)

The gems brushed off these feelings and due to that, I think a lot of the audience did too. But the gems do occasionally ask Steven what’s wrong, and he shuts them down.

So why does he do that? Why doesn’t he work it out? Because they spent his entire life ignoring his problems, disregarding his fears, not knowing what’s important to him. I’ve seen a lot of talk about Gemcation and how the stuff with Connie was Steven repressing his trauma over space and… no. It’s not. It’s really, really not. It’s yet another example of how the gems (and the fandom) ignore the things that matter to Steven in favor of what they think he should care about, and it comes down to this one extremely painful moment.

Garnet: Steven, I know what’s troubling you.

Steven: You do? (huge relieved smile) Gosh. I really messed up, didn’t I?

He’s so, so excited for someone to understand him. He’s so thrilled for someone to understand what’s wrong, and value his problems and his life. And what happens? Garnet talks about Pink Diamond. He’s crushed again.The most important thing to Steven is his relationships with other people, his friends. Literally his entire problem solving method is to go make more friends. He’s not worried about getting hurt or how scary Homeworld is, he’s scared that his family is going to stop loving him because of the mistakes he made.

But the gems don’t take the time to understand what Steven truly values. They don’t take the time to respect his interests. They don’t take the time to know him. And we’re still seeing that. They don’t understand what movies he likes. They don’t understand how his taste in food has changed. They don’t realize he’s been a vegetarian for a month. That’s not a little change. And, what’s more, that’s a value. That’s something extremely important, a sacrifice you decide to make because you think it’s a big deal.

And the gems don’t know.

So why would he talk to them? If someone was so uninterested in my life they couldn’t figure out I’d been a vegetarian for a month, I wouldn’t be opening up about my deepest problems. And when have they ever guessed a problem right? When have they ever taken an interest in things that matter to him? When have they ever told him that his human half is just as valuable, that he deserves to do whatever he wants, that he doesn’t have to be the son of Pink Diamond and can actually just be Steven?

But why bother when you can just cheer him up with s’mores and camping and Dogcopter, right? Steven doesn’t get angry! Our precious baby boy pouts. He throws some tantrums. The only time his anger matters is in Warp Tour, because he’s right about these big adult things. Steven is a child and he is small and cute and funny and his voice cracks when he shouts. It’s funny, isn’t it? He’s just a little kid. Little boys get angry and they scream and they holler about stupid things, and who cares, right?

Until one day they’re not so little anymore.

And now it doesn’t seem so funny, does it? Now it’s kind of scary. Now, the little kid that you rolled your eyes at and ignored the emotions of is big. He’s got a deep voice. He’s got broad shoulders. When he screams at you, it’s not something to roll your eyes over. It’s kind of terrifying now, isn’t it? Because there’s real power in that bigger body, and even the lizard part of your brain at the base of your spinal chord knows that. There’s a real, destructive power when he screams, and you have to listen.

The gems still think he’s a kid, and the audience is starting to realize he’s not. And the audience is already scared of what a kid as angry as Steven, with no coping mechanisms, is going to look like as a grown man.

It’s really easy to ignore a little boy with a weak grasp of his strength. It’s a lot harder to ignore a man whose screams shake your house down.

Value your kid’s feelings. They’re going to be grown some day. And what’s more? They’re people. Their feelings mattered all along. Steven’s feelings mattered all along. 

The only thing that’s changed is that you can’t call it cute anymore.

#steven universe #steven universe future #su #suf #su steven #steven su #angry steven essay #meta #essay

[hurglewurm]

C- Can I read the coraline essay 😳?

ok but it’s Long so i’m putting most of it under a cut

lmao ahem. 

Promises of the Womb

Neil Gaiman’s Coraline presents a horror that takes the form of what is often the most comforting: a mother, and a home. The novel’s protagonist, the eponymous Coraline, is nearing the cusp of adolescence, and therefore slowly exiting the dependence that children have on their parents. As she struggles with the new distance between her and her parents, she also faces the Other Mother and the Other World, which invite her to re-enter her childhood state of dependence on her mother (only now her Other Mother)—to accept and become part of the space that the Other Mother has created, and thereby be reintegrated into the metaphorical womb. Because Coraline is of a liminal age, neither a helpless child nor yet an adolescent, reintegration into the metaphorical womb is both revolting and somehow appealing; revolting in how it would disintegrate Coraline’s identity and selfhood, and yet appealing in its promise of never again facing the stress of growing more independent and separate from her mother. 

The novel opens with Coraline in her original world, where she, as a child, feels silenced by adults, who do not make efforts to recognize her identity. This is especially seen in the mispronunciation of her name, which David Rudd identifies as a factor of Coraline’s “frustration of feeling neglected” by the adults around her (Rudd 164). Coraline often ineffectually protests: “It’s Coraline. Not Caroline. Coraline [….] I asked you not to call me Caroline. It’s Coraline” (Gaiman 2), only for her neighbours to continue calling her “Caroline”. Chloé Germaine Buckley argues further that the collective inability of her neighbours to say her name correctly signals that “ ‘Coraline,’ the ‘child,’ is a particularly tricky, unstable construct” (Buckley 71), and that she exists to them as “a figure who always emanates from and belongs to the adult imagination” (71), meaning they assume to know how she feels and what her name is based on their own expectations as adults speaking to a child. Coraline’s struggle being tied to her age is made explicit in her conversation with the police officer over the phone, and she “trie[s] extra hard to sound like an adult might sound, to make him take her seriously” (Gaiman 52); Coraline is aware of her age and how it makes people perceive her, and this frustrates her all the more, as she cannot do anything about it. 

In the Other World, however, this struggle is conspicuously absent, as Other Mr. Bobo and Other Misses Spink and Forcible speak Coraline’s name correctly before she even gives it to them; Other Mr. Bobo says, “Hello Coraline” when he sees her (30), and Miss Spink invites her on stage and says, “Now, Coraline, […] what’s your name?” (40). Furthermore, the Other World paints itself as appealing to Coraline by how much attention she gets from the adults there, particularly the Other Mother; despite Coraline’s wanting not to be treated as a child by the police officer, the Other World functions to soothe and contest the “fear that the increasing independence her real parents demand of her amounts to rejection and abandonment” (Gooding 396), as Richard Gooding puts it. While the real world simultaneously dismisses her for her youth and demands independence of her for her being suitably old enough to warrant it, the Other World provides an alternative: Coraline is invited to embrace her youth, to reside in a child’s bedroom with walls painted “in an off-putting shade of green and a peculiar shade of pink” (Gaiman 28), to play with “[a] whole toy box filled with wonderful toys” (28), and to wear “dressing-up clothes” and costumes that “she would love to have hanging in her own wardrobe at home” (67). In short, Coraline is invited to integrate into the space the Other Mother has created for her, free of the pressures of growing up, and to become her daughter: to take her place permanently in the Other Mother’s womb. 

Viewing the Other World as womb-like in more than a strictly metaphorical sense requires a certain putting aside of the novel’s descriptive language taken from Coraline’s perspective, which largely describes the Other characters as bug-like as they start to devolve: Miss Spink and Miss Forcible’s bodies are mashed together inside of a sac like a “spider’s egg case” (99), “stuck to the back wall like a slug” (98); the Other Father is “pale and swollen like a grub with thin, sticklike arms and feet” (108); Mr. Bobo is likened to an “enormous dead insect” (116); and the Other Mother is described as distinctly spider-like, with skin “the colour of a spider’s belly” (126), a predator to all the others. Rudd plays on the spider imagery in his article, describing Coraline as being in danger of becoming “trapped in the ‘other mother’s’ web, and ultimately absorbed” (Rudd 160). However, the bug-like descriptors are relegated to similes, meant to evoke emotions in the reader but not necessarily a strict likeness to bugs—in fact, the Other Mother’s eating of bugs (crunching) is not at all reminiscent of how a spider would trap its prey and liquefy it before consumption, and Buckley presents the Other Mother as having rather “predatory bird-like characteristics” (Buckley 66). 

It is in looking at the Other characters in the novel that the fetal elements become more apparent, painting the space where they reside as a womb. Gooding quotes Karen Coats in describing “the degenerate forms of Miss Spink and Miss Forcible” which now “resemble fetuses, suggesting an ‘infantile state of undifferentiation’ ” (Gooding 399), as they have “melted and melded together into one ghastly thing” (Gaiman 100). The Other Father, grublike though he may seem, is certainly no bug: his body is malleable like “pale clay” (109), and his most frightening aspect seems to be his mouth, which “open[s] in the mouthless face, strands of pale stuff sticking to the lips” (108), recalling a notion of Kristevian abject. Julia Kristeva defines the abject as “what disturbs identity, system, order. What does not respect borders, positions, rules” (Kristeva 4): the Other Father’s transgressive mouth, creating an opening in his body where there was none, is an example of this. The unidentified “strands of pale stuff sticking to the lips” further the feeling of abjection, as this substance is never properly identified—it could be parts of his amorphous clay-like flesh, or, if we explore the womb-like space and the process of reproduction, it could be breastmilk or semen. 

The Other World evokes abjection, as it does not respect the boundaries between bodies, as seen with Misses Forcible and Spink, with Mr. Bobo when his body becomes rats, and with the Other Father, whose skin is “tacky, like warm bread dough” (Gaiman 109), much unlike a body’s boundary is expected to be. This abject feeling is aggravated by likening the Other World to a womb, as it disturbs Coraline’s identity both as a growing child (and not a fetus) and as having come from another’s womb. However, the Other World does seem to have some kind of order to it, following Gooding’s observation of the real world of the novel (which the Other World mirrors) as rather concerned with “things being under other things” (Gooding 393). If one views the Other World as a body, then the old man upstairs is the eyes, being made up of rats, which the Other Mother “uses […] as her eyes and hands” (Gaiman 73); beneath that live Misses Spink and Forcible and the Other Mother, residing in the womb-space—Spink and Forcible especially, existing in their fetus-like state in a sac of “sticky, clinging whiteness” (100), once again evoking the abject through suspicious possibly-bodily substances; and beneath that in the cellar resides the Other Father, the only male figure in the Other World (aside from Mr. Bobo, who is made of rats, and the cat), taking the place of the genitals, as the hidden secret below. 

Furthering the notion of abjection and fluid boundaries, the idea of integration is at the core of the Other Mother’s desire for Coraline, as the cat explains: “ ‘She wants something to love, I think,’ said the cat. ‘Something that isn’t her. She might want something to eat as well. It’s hard to tell with creatures like that’ ” (Gaiman 63). For the Other Mother, to love and to consume are synonymous, as ultimately she would break down the boundaries between her body and Coraline’s and absorb her. It is impossible to say whether the Other Mother has a true stomach or a true womb, but I would argue that they would function in the same way: to hold something other than herself within her own body, and to integrate it until there is nothing remaining of its original selfhood. The result of such a process is seen in the ghost children trapped in the mirror, who warn Coraline: “She [the Other Mother] kept us, and she fed on us, until now we’ve nothing left of ourselves, only snakeskins and spider husks” (83). The ghosts are “faraway and lost” (81), unable to remember their names or even what gender they were in life, and Gooding asserts that the novel hinges on Coraline not becoming one of the ghosts by resisting integration with the Other Mother—on a more psychoanalytic level, on her “capacity to surmount an infantile desire for permanent (re)union with the mother” and resist the “regressive desire to disintegrate her subjectivity” (Gooding 397, Buckley 74). Coraline’s ultimate choice to resist integration and maintain her selfhood and identity is integral to her escape, as only she can save herself from the Other Mother: as Rudd puts it, “in order for a person to take up their place in the world, distinct from the mother figure who once provided all and everything, the maternal must be set apart” (Rudd 166).

In the end, completing the likeness to a body and a womb, Coraline’s escape from the Other World requires traversing the passage between the two worlds, which is “described […] in terms of a birth canal” (166): the wall is “warm and yielding” when Coraline touches it (Gaiman 133), and moments later is “hot and wet, as if she had put her hand in somebody’s mouth” (133). By escaping the womb through the birth canal, Coraline essentially performs her own birth, the ultimate and inevitable separation from one’s mother. Back in the real world, Coraline must still rid herself of the Other Mother’s disembodied hand, and she does so by enacting a performance, “reverting to a younger self, to one that still plays with dolls [….] affect[ing] an innocence she no longer possesses” (Rudd 167), playing at the youth that the Other World invited her to retain forever. Coraline then buries the hand in a hole; according to Freudian theory, the fear/desire of being buried alive evokes the memory of being in the womb (Gooding 403)—just as the Other Mother buried and re-buried her own mother (Gaiman 91), Coraline traps her Other Mother “down into the darkness of the well” (157), in an inescapable womb. 

Coraline explores the horror of growing older and more independent from one’s parents, and frames this horror as the threat of losing one’s subjectivity by being reintegrated into the womb. The Other World presents itself as a space where Coraline can release her anxieties of being neglected by the adults around her by accepting her place in the womb, where she never has to grow up or be separate from her mother again—and yet, as a womb, the Other World is also where unfinished, fetal creatures reside, evoking feelings of abjection in both the reader and Coraline as her identity and selfhood are threatened, and she ultimately defeats the Other Mother by performing the very youth and innocence she no longer has and trapping the hand in another womb.

Works Cited

Buckley, Chloé Germaine. “Psychoanalysis, ‘Gothic’ Children’s Literature, and the Canonization of Coraline.” Children’s Literature Association Quarterly, vol. 40, no. 1, John Hopkins University Press, 2015, pp. 58-79.

Gaiman, Neil. Coraline. Harper Collins, 2008.

Gooding, Richard. “ ‘Something Very Old and Very Slow’: Coraline, Uncanniness, and Narrative Form.” Children’s Literature Association Quarterly, vol. 33, no. 4, John Hopkins University Press, 2008, pp. 390-407.

Kristeva, Julia. “Approaching Abjection.” Powers of Horror, translated by Leon S. Roudiez, Columbia University Press, 1982, pp. 1-27.

Rudd, David. “An Eye for an I: Neil Gaiman’s Coraline and Questions of Identity.” Children’s Literature in Education, vol. 39, no. 3, Springer, 2008, pp. 159-168.

#did i go too hard for this essay? i did actually #this essay was me being Extra because i. had to #worked out for me so who cares #asks #knicknack #pls no one plagiarize my essay lmao that would be lazy and dumb #but if u want to write abt this absolutely go into the works cited #buckley mostly quotes from gooding and rudd #but has a lot to say that i didn't include in my essay #kristeva's abject is like. it simply fucks. i can't say more #it makes me feel insane