#there are .... greater concerns i have w the show

[mermaidsirennikita]

Vanity Fair: Daisy Jones is about music and art and so and so on and so on--

Me: but it's always about cheating. like we get this right. a huge part of it is a story about cheating. and what constitutes cheating and how you could fuck someone random and it could hurt your partner less than your bond with someone you barely even kiss and the gray areas of emotional cheating and how hard it is to be faithful to someone not just in terms of romance but in terms of prioritizing them over art and addictions over the course of a decades-long relationship and the way that being addicted to a person even if you never sleep with them can be similar to being addicted to a drug. and how you can have truly good intentions but that doesn't mean you can control your emotions but you CAN control how act on them???

Vanity Fair: no

#daisy jones and the six #lmao this is not serious that was a teeny little promo article and like #there are .... greater concerns i have w the show #but!!! #a huge part of me is worried about how daisy jones and the six is adapted in a world that is like #SOOOOO black and white about infidelity #and how people who aren't faithful are basically as evil as murderers UNIFORMLY #and sorry but infidelity in its many forms is an ingrained part of that book

[seakicker]

hello i have returned w priest childe food

as ofc the reader is a naive nun, they had no idea what to do with this growing situation between their legs. in fact, reader believes that this was some sort of force was trying to tempt them away from their duties. considering how well they trust childe as he was the one who took them in, they go to him for help. little would they know, reader would end up bent over the podium, taking his massive cock over and over and over again while reciting a prayer of salvation that he deemed necessary for this ritual

yes yes yes, this indeed... it's easy to feed you lies when it comes to sex and intimacy when he's starting with a total blank slate. he doesn't have to go through the process of reversing or overriding what you already know when you don't know anything... he very well could convince you that children are made when two people who love each other hold hands lmfao

cw: afab + gn reader, reader is a nun and childe is the head priest. religious themes/talk, emotional manipulation, reader is Desperate for approval, dubious consent (reader consents but because of the idea of "i need to do this" rather than active sexual desire), abuse of power/authority, no foreplay/childe pushes into you when you're kinda dry

also crossposted to ao3 if you prefer to read content there.

It is not within a nun’s line of duty to indulge.

Your tiny little monastery bedroom is noticeably devoid of any furniture or decorations beyond your bed, desk, dresser, and bedside book compiling all of the church’s values and teachings in their service to the Tsaritsa. You get by with only what you must; you don’t waste your money on frivolous, unnecessary items to enhance your appearance or show off any sort of social standing. You sustain yourself with simple, basic foods like potato soup and bread; any food item more fanciful would be better either gifted to the homeless or to the Tsaritsa Herself as an offering. 

If you have the money to throw at purchases of expensive clothing, fine dining, or fancy interior decorations, then you have the money to donate to the church or otherwise put to better use than downright wasting it on yourself. 

Just as it is not their duty to indulge in the more tangible pleasures of mankind, a nun needn’t concern themselves with relationships outside of that of the one between them and the Tsaritsa. Needless to say, romantic and sexual relationships are explicitly forbidden— such depraved encounters only serve as distractions from your one true duty: your service to the Tsaritsa. 

Save for the Archon Herself, no figure has been more vital to the development and enhancement of your faith in the Tsaritsa and Her kindness, loyalty to the Greater Cathedral of Snezhnaya as a gesture of gratitude for all the kindness it has blessed you with, and insistence on always being the best representation of Her you can be than the monastery’s head priest Tartaglia. 

It’s hard to remember anything of note from your life prior to joining the Church— Tartaglia took you in about two years ago out of the goodness of his own heart as a member of the clergy; he mentioned that he is but a vessel for the Tsaritsa’s divine kindness and that it is his duty as a direct representative of her to pay that kindness forward. Turning his back on a destitute, helpless being, someone created in the Tsaritsa’s own image at that— you’re just as much a creation of Her as he is—like yourself at the time would have gone against everything the Church stands for. 

A whispered promise to deliver you from the vices and horrors of man and into the warm, loving embrace of the Tsaritsa was all it took for you to accept Tartaglia’s invitation to the Church. You would have accepted any offer of food and shelter at that time— whether or not it was simply luck or divine fate that it was Tartaglia who found you, cold and ill and alone, is beyond your comprehension. As far as you’re concerned, it’s both— who alive could show you more kindness than Tartaglia has throughout the past two years?

In addition to his otherworldly kindness, Tartaglia has shown you no shortage of patience since he took you in and insisted to personally teach you in the gospel of the Tsaritsa and personally train you in all the duties of a good, faithful nun. His affectionate nickname of “little lamb” has stuck with you ever since he first called you a lost one: a wayward, helpless, lost little lamb in dire need of the Tsaritsa’s— and his— guiding hand. He dressed you in the warm, soft dress and robes customary of all nuns, a massive upgrade from the tattered, worn clothes he found you in. When he had asked you if they fit your body comfortably, you didn’t tell him that they felt a little tight around your bust or your hips— beggars can’t be choosers, and all of his teachings of gratitude and thankfulness would go to waste were you to have the audacity to complain about a brand-new, clean, fresh outfit, wouldn’t they? Who on Tsaritsa’s green planet would even dream of complaining about anything when they previously had nothing?

You know better. Even if you didn’t know better before, you certainly do now— Tartaglia’s gentle guidance has taught you at least that much.

“Little lamb,” Tartaglia calls, resting a hand over yours as you go to flip a page in the Scripture book you’re holding. A chronicle of the Tsaritsa’s historical feats and accomplishments in addition to her dream for all of Snezhnaya, rather all of Teyvat, serves as the basis for the Church’s teachings, and Tartaglia personally ensures that you don’t fall behind on your readings by meeting with you every Monday evening. The desolate silence of the Cathedral after hours serves as the location for these studies— it allows you to immerse yourself in the grandiosity and significance of the Cathedral while you read. 

He clears his throat and repeats himself. “Little lamb, stay focused.” 

You smile sheepishly like a child caught sneaking a treat. “I’m sorry,” you offer, glancing over at Tartaglia’s gloved hand resting on your bare one.

He hums. “Something on your mind?” 

Ah. He’s always been able to see right through you— whereas someone else may have just concluded that you were growing bored of reading after having done so for three hours straight, Tartaglia deduces that your mind is elsewhere. He deduces not that you’re bored of the Tsartisa’s divine accomplishments because you’re a good, dutiful, dignified nun who would never, ever tire of hearing of Her feats. He can confidently assert that you’re everything a nun representing the Tsaritsa should be because he personally taught you everything you know.

Your cheeks grow hot with embarrassment. Allowing your mind to wander when you should be focusing on Her teachings is mortifying enough, but being caught daydreaming by Tartaglia is leagues more humiliating. “It’s nothing, I promise. Surely nothing more deserving of my attention than our studies.”

Tartaglia hums again as if he’s in thought then moves to close your book, resting his hand on the front cover. “Well, if it’s important enough to distract you from our readings, then it has to be worth hearing out, right?”

You didn’t think of it that way. Finally forcing yourself to make eye contact with him, you take a deep breath to steady yourself and begin speaking. “It’s embarrassing, really,” you force a shaky laugh in an attempt to lighten the mood… or maybe it’s to distract you from the fact that the useless, wasteful wandering of your mind just caused Tartaglia to end your lessons early. 

“It’s just that I…” Your voice grows quieter and quieter the more you attempt to speak. 

Tartaglia leans in closer, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “You can say it, little lamb.” 

“It’s humiliating, truly,” you finally continue. “But recently I… I’ve been having thoughts in need of purging, sir. M-More frequently than usual— they’ve only grown in frequency and intensity since our last cleansing.”

Thoughts in need of purging or, in other words, sexual thoughts that you’ve been taught to never, ever indulge because nuns do not indulge in lust. At first, the thoughts were infrequent enough to the point where you could effortlessly ignore them— even just the slightest distraction buried these thoughts completely. You could opt to sweep the Cathedral or tidy up your quarters and the thoughts would be gone just like that. 

The timeline gets fuzzier the more you attempt to recall it, but you guess that those thoughts first appeared about three months or so following when Tartaglia first took you in. You didn’t actually confess them until about six months into your mentorship under him, and he was quick to offer you a method to truly purge— not just suppress— your mind and heart of these lustful thoughts. 

However, those thoughts have yet to be truly purged. You must be broken— the thoughts have only increased exponentially following each and every cleansing session; whenever you and Tartaglia finish, your thoughts only grow more intense than before and you find yourself caught between the shame of confessing your moral degradation and the guilt of living silently with your thoughts. The idea of confessing that despite all Tartaglia’s patience and kindness with you and the cleansing rituals, your thoughts have only grown lewder and darker and nastier… how would that make you look? How could you ever look him in the eye and tell him that you fear you’re getting worse despite all his attempts to help you get better? 

Despite your internal conflict, you always, always confessed— you’ve probably had about seven of your private cleansing sessions with Tartaglia now. He taught you to never keep sins a secret, whether you actually acted on them or not. 

He doesn’t say anything for a moment— the minute of silence feels like thirty years and you begin to brace yourself for the firm scolding you deserve rather than the warm understanding he continues to undeservingly spoil you with. You wouldn’t be upset if he were to reprimand you or punish you for your incessant sinning— it’s what you deserve more than you deserve even an ounce of his kindness. 

That scolding never comes, however, and once those metaphorical thirty years have passed, he clears his throat, removes his hand from yours, and leans back in his seat. “I understand, little lamb. I’m glad you’re being honest about it.”

“Hey, look at me,” he coaxes. You didn’t even really notice that your gaze fell down to your lap rather than looking up at him until this request; surely it would have been more polite and sincere of you to look him in the eye while confessing the depths of your sins. 

“I’m sorry,” you rasp, hesitantly (and finally) looking him in the eye per his request. “I’m so sorry, sir. You’ve been doing so much to help me curb these thoughts and they still… I still…” 

He shushes you with a soft shh, taking your hand in his once more and smoothing his thumb over the back of your hand. “Sweetheart, it’s my job to help you and guide you. You know that. If I were the type to give up on you for failing once or twice or even a hundred times, what kind of mentor would I be? Little lamb, our cleansing sessions are important to me because I can see that you’re improving.” 

His kindness knows no bounds. Whereas he could have chosen to curse you or damn you for your incessant lustful thoughts, he instead expressed patience and understanding. 

Because Tartaglia is a kind, patient, and understanding man. 

“I guess that means another session is in order, huh, little lamb?” Tartaglia prompts you, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “We’ll continue our readings tomorrow once you’re… less distracted.” 

You laugh hesitantly, having been reminded of the utter humiliation of interrupting your weekly readings before you finished them by being too busy having lustful thoughts instead. You slowly rise to your feet and make your way over to the center podium where Tartaglia conducts all of his sermons— your cleansing rituals always take place right here because it’s, in his words, the holiest place in the entire monastery. 

You’re mortified. Humiliated. Here you are, a stupid wench of a nun who can’t seem to learn how to properly behave despite all of Tartaglia’s attempts at helping you. How long will you continue to test his patience, reverse his efforts, and take advantage of his kindness? When will you ever, ever learn? 

The sound of Tartaglia’s chair sliding against the cool marble floor alerts you that he’s ready to begin as well. He makes his way over to you and stands just behind you, a strong hand settling reassuringly on your hip through the thin cotton of your floor-length standard dress. 

He chuckles in a manner you’ve never heard from him before. There’s an unsettling sort of darkness in the way he laughs, his right hand gripping your hip and the left seizing hold of your chin to turn your head slightly towards him. Were you in the position to even dream of questioning him, you would probably find yourself unnerved by the sound— but you are in no position to doubt the man who’s shown you nothing but kindness since the day he met you. When you’re a lowly, sinful, wasteful little nun, you don’t have the right to doubt a man leagues more powerful, wiser, and well-versed in the Tsaritsa’s teachings than you are. 

These are not the depraved cackles of a man outside of the Church’s influence staking claim on a pliant, unwitting toy. Tartaglia would never steer you wrong, he would never do anything outside of your best interests as an aspiring member of the Church, he would never hurt you. 

Because Tartaglia is a kind, patient, and understanding man. 

He caresses your chin and hums a hymn you recognize from his sermons. “I must admit,” he whispers, gazing at you with an expression you couldn’t begin to decipher— it’s some mix of rueful bitterness, anticipation, and sadism. “I’ve been guiding you for two years now, and to see progress this slow… it does make me wonder if you’ll ever learn,” Tartaglia breathes against your lips, grinning salaciously in a way wholly unbefitting of a priest. “It’d be wrong of me to deem one of the Tsaritsa’s subjects a lost cause, but…”

Chuckling again, he releases your chin from his grip and traces a thumb up the swell of your cheek. Is he checking for tears? “But you?” He finally continues. “I’m starting to wonder if you’re even able to be redeemed. If it’s gotten to the point where you can’t even focus on your usual readings… maybe you’re just not cut out for this sort of thing, huh?”

Practically immediately following the last syllable that leaves Tartaglia’s mouth, a pained gasp escapes you and your eyes go wide with a sort of frantic horror. “No! Please, no, I’ll do— I’ll do anything!” Tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you beg him, plead him, implore him to help you— you really, truly would do anything to remain in the Tsaritsa’s— no, in his— good graces. 

He says nothing when you drop to your knees before him in a desperate display of submission, clumsily knocking one of your feet against the base of the podium. A tear falls from your eye and you don’t stop your body from throwing itself at his feet, clinging to the sweeping skirts of his robes like a lifeline. “Please, sir,” you wail pathetically, sobbing and sobbing and sobbing as if your filthy, self-victimizing tears will wash away the grime of your sins. 

While not undeserved even in the slightest nor totally unexpected, his sudden cruelty has you feeling more terrified than anything you’ve ever experienced in your life. Has he finally run out of patience? Has the dutiful, kind, intelligent Tartaglia who took you in when you didn’t have even a single mora to your name grown fed up with your stagnating progress? Have you gone backwards despite all the sessions you’ve gone through with him? Is he beginning to view his decision to take you in as a mistake? Is he going to brand your salvation a fruitless endeavor, forsake you, and throw you back out onto the streets of which he first plucked you from?

No. You won’t let that happen. He’s given you so much and you won’t let all of his time and efforts go to waste— you will improve. You will not simply indulge in his kindness while keeping it from changing your heart; you will take his teachings and allow yourself to be born anew as the spitting image of a follow of the Tsartisa. 

“Please forgive me,” you wail weakly, throat already feeling hoarse. With your mind gone and your desperation controlling your body’s autopilot feature, you bury your face in the fabric of his robe and continue to cry and cry and cry. 

Unbeknownst to you, Tartaglia smiles. 

“I forgive you,” he notes simply. “But you’re not trying to earn my forgiveness, are you? You’ll need to work for Her forgiveness if you’d like to really show me what a sweet, dutiful nun you can be. 

I forgive you, he said. You suck in a shaky breath and do your best to quiet your body-wracking sobs into tiny, pitiful hiccups and coughs instead. Tartaglia looks down at you with all the empathy of a stranger passing a wounded animal on the street and you buckle against him, your arms wrapping around his legs. 

“Let’s not waste any more time, alright?” Tartaglia says with a grin, prompting you to bashfully apologize again and clumsily rise to your feet. He doesn’t need to ask you to bend yourself over the podium because you know the process plenty well by now— the cleansing ritual involves partaking in behavior nuns are typically required to swear off, so if that fact alone doesn’t inform you of the desperation of the whole situation, nothing will. If Tartaglia deems it fit to break your vow of celibacy— and you would never even dream of questioning the logic behind this— in order to purge you of your sins, then you’ll accept no matter what. 

He hums in approval at your obedience. You catch on quickly… it’s a shame that you don’t truly internalize his teachings and learn quickly. 

“It’s okay, little lamb,” he reassures you, gently clutching your dress and lifting the fabric slowly until he’s exposed your ass to the cool Cathedral air. “You’ll do well tonight— just as you always do, right?”

You will. You’ll do so well tonight. You’ll behave and perform better than you ever have because you need to— it’s one thing to mess up your first time and a whole different thing to mess up your eighth time. You won’t let Tartaglia’s guidance go to waste, you won’t allow yourself to go to waste so long as he sees potential in you, and you won’t give up as long as Tartaglia continues to view you worthy of molding, changing, and shaping into the ideal nun. 

It’ll be okay. 

It’ll be okay. 

It’ll be okay. 

Slowly working your white panties down your thighs, Tartaglia gently parts your legs wider by knocking his foot against your ankles, all but kicking you open to give him some room to work with. You don’t feel as wet this time as you have in past sessions… does that mean your body’s ridding itself of all your sin and lust? He taught you that wetness is a sign of your body’s cravings, and if you’re no longer growing wet… that’s a good thing, right? The thought alone fills you with hope that you are not, in fact, a lost cause. 

The initial push of Tartaglia’s cock into your entrance hurts. You don’t deduce that it’s because you’re not all that wet this time— no, you decide that it’s because your sins are finally leaving your body and because nothing worth having ever comes easily. The pain is a sign that the ritual’s working as far as you’re concerned… and you breathe a shaky sigh of relief amidst your whimpers of pain as he continues to push inch after inch of himself into you. 

“Thank you,” you wheeze as your body attempts to relax around him. “Thank you for taking pity on me and… guiding me.” Just as you bent over his podium without being asked, you clasp your hands together in prayer before Tartaglia can ask you to— if you want to show him how obedient and receptive to his teachings you can be, it’s now or never. 

It hurts, but you don’t complain. Why would you ever complain when he’s trying to help you? Why would you complain when this is surely your body’s way of notifying you that your sins are leaving it?

“There you go,” Tartaglia grunts, cursing under his breath because you’re so fucking tight— he’ll have to remind himself that you’re not really one he can skip foreplay with, especially not when you’re this much of a wreck. “I knew you could do it, little lamb. I’ve always believed in you, you know. I’ve always thought that you’re special.” 

You barely have the mental capacity or rationality to compare these praises to his prior comments about you potentially being a lost cause. 

Your body adapts quickly enough— the stress of the somewhat dry entrance causes your body to quickly overcompensate, producing enough juices as possible in a limited timeframe in order to allow Tartaglia a relatively comfortable slide in and out of your pussy. He figures that nerves are to blame (or thank, in his case?) for your sudden insane tightness, your pussy squeezing up so tight he can barely manage to pull out. Oh sweet Tsaritsa, he thinks with a sleazy grin. This sort of nun is the best there is. 

“Your prayers, little lamb,” Tartaglia reminds you, grinning when you gasp out another apology for being so pitifully forgetful. It’s a prayer he himself wrote just for this occasion; just for you— that should prove the depths of his love and concern for you enough, right?

Nodding your head in understanding, you bow your head down to hang between your arms. “My Royal Highness, the divine Tsaritsa,” you begin quietly, crying out for Tartaglia when he blesses you with a thrust so deep you feel it all the way in your belly. “I plead for Your forgiveness. Forgive my transgressions and pardon my sins. Though I—” 

A moan of Tartaglia’s name falls from your lips and cuts your prayer short. Your priest seizes hold of your hips and all but jackhammers into you from behind, slaps resounding throughout the empty Cathedral as you pitifully attempt to complete your prayer amidst the sinful, sinful pleasure Tartaglia’s drowning you in. 

“Though I,” you repeat yourself, starting the sentence from the top. “Though I may be imperfect, and though I may act in ways unbefitting of a pupil of Yours, I beg for Your forgiveness.”

Another hard thrust has you faltering, and you fight off your instinct to unclasp your hands from their prayer position and grab at the podium for stability. Tartaglia’s hands grip your hips harder and harder to the point where you swear you can feel his fingernails through the fabric of his gloves.

“I vow to always act in a way befitting of Your image.” You squeeze your hands together so hard they begin to shake, your breath coming to you only in staccato gasps and strained whimpers. “Amen.” 

As you finish your prayer, Tartaglia hums in approval from behind you and rubs his hand over your ass in a soothing gesture. “There you go,” he praises. “You did such a wonderful job. I told you that you grow better and better the more sessions we have… perhaps we should make these part of our weekly routine rather than sticking to a case-by-case basis, hm?”

Whatever it takes to reach salvation and prove yourself to him. He’s such a busy, busy man and him taking time out of his schedule to read Scripture with you is already more than you deserve, and here he is, offering to cleanse you of your sins weekly and keep you at your absolute purest. 

Would it be sacrilegious to claim that Tartaglia’s kindness surpasses that of even the Tsaritsa Herself? 

#tw religion #tw manipulation #tw dubcon #tw abuse #tw abuse of authority #tartaglia x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia smut #childe smut #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #priest childe #juju bakery #ajax x reader #ajax smut #genshin reader insert #genshin impact reader insert #childe x you #tartaglia x you #genshin x you #genshin impact x you

[sillyyuserr]

ever since chapter 108 tbhk has been getting progressively worse, after reading chapter 112 i had to take an hour long lap around my room before i could write this 😭

Chapter 112 analysis/thoughts

❗️obviously, chapter 112 spoilers❗️

aoi is seemingly less popular, and the burden of that has been lifted, her and nene also being much closer.

ALSO WHAT?? Like ok lesbians

Mei’s alive, which kind of confused me because she died due to illness?? But i guess not if shes here

This page really intrigued me, not because of kou or anything but because of what aoi says

She refers to teru as “teru-kun” differing to that of what she used to call him

Which i guess means she’s close to him too

after kou runs back to the stand it shows this

Kou and mitsuba??? HE’S ALIVE?? This is literally all we get of them so i don’t have much for this part

Nene singing at the play, having a thought just at the back of her mind, thinking she was wanting someone to watch her, but not sure who

Until they’re finally done, everything’s quiet, she looks up at the crowd to see

Hanako?? Im not quite sure if he was actually there or if she was hallucinating or something but she remembered him, enough to remember his name. ALSO HE KEPT HIS PROMISE AUGH 😭💔

i dont have much to say for this because i really dont know whats going on but im interested to see what happens next w/ them

This next part especially killed me

Teru is distressed, he’s fucking devastated, he feels betrayed and hurt by the only person he’s trusted as much as he has, teru reacts impulsively when it comes to something that weakens him. akane was right when he referred to him as a little kid, he is like a child, he does not know how to control his emotions since he wasn’t taught, and sure as hell not having a mom made it worse

also his face 😭 my mans is HURT

Him not knowing if he should treat akane like a human or like a supernatural hurts me. this reminds me of the picture perfect arc with hanako and nene, akane being in hanako’s place and teru being in nene’s. akane making the decision for the greater good that he doesn’t even fully believe in, just as hanako did when he made shijima make the painting

I have so much to say about this panel its insane

The tension goes CRAZYY but also wtf

The demotion from “aoi” to “clock keeper” back to “aoi” shows he really doesnt know. Also showing he really did trust him, but now that he’s done what he did, he doesnt know how to feel about him. The “you really let me down” again suggests he didn’t at one point, and he did like him. GOSH AidaIro sleep with one eye open tonight

Akane looking worried like that shows he really did care about teru too, and what he thinks of him, i mean like look at him he looks disappointed too, but in himself

His face he feels so bad 😭😭

Teru gripping his tie like he’s onna run away 😭 my mans ur ON TOP OF HIM i think you got him

Teru looking progressively more worried/concerned as akane continues explaining whats happened

Teru’s perspective shot on the top left is painful like the rest of this chapter, him looking down at akane with a face of disbelief, as akane removed his hand from his tie, and redoes it, explaining the rest.

again, reminding me of the picture perfect arc, with the whole “be here long enough and you’ll forget your past life” with again, akane in hanako’s place and teru in nene’s

Akane says this could be a better present for Nene, and we see her initial hope of being popular come true (also taking aoi’s problem away, as stated at the beginning)

but he also says this could be a better/more preferable present for teru aswell, which makes me want to see how teru’s life changed, and what akane considered something teru would want, and what he lost to gain it. (like how nene gained popularity but lost hanako and the connections she made bcs of meeting him)

Fuck i just realized something. Akane was under the impression teru has a crush on aoi so what if he made them closer as in like dating closer SHE CALLS HIM TERU-KUN is this what akane meant by “some people might prefer this ‘present’ over the former one. could be you president.” HUUH

i have a problem with saying “this will never happen, i know it wont, and i wont even consider it” and genuinely will be under the belief that it wont, but then it fucking happens and if thats what happened here i might as well archive my acc

Back to the current topic, as a wielder of time, an important part of making this present, is making sure there is no way his memories will be replaced too, or so im guessing. He says "some" and “their” instead of "we" or “people like us” when talking about the people that will forget the old present. Meaning if akane des remember, he will be so indefinitely alone and self aware (him knowing so much more than the rest of them) and have to play along with everything. Everyone else has the comfort of forgetting, which will make it much easier to adjust, meanwhile if things stay the same, akane will be the only one to remember and will be like this for as long as they stay like that.

Which i like this new one, as mitsuba and kou can be friends without one of them literally being dead, and how aoi can be more open and is closer to nene, but if this is how it ends (obviously not this chapter but if it ends with them staying in the new present) tbhk is so fucked.

its kind of a win-lose, lose-win type of thing, but either way akane’s cooked.

Todays a rough day for everyone 😭

#tbhk #real #aidairo #analysis #aidairo sleep with one eye open tonight #minamoto teru #akane aoi #aoi akane #yashiro nene

[militantinremission]

The Sunday News Shows were pretty interesting...

Sen. Marco Rubio goes on 'This Week' & speaks about a "Pro- Hamas Wing"(?). He's obviously Pro- Israel, but he tries 2 equate 1,200 Israeli deaths (hundreds killed by 'Friendly Fire') & the relocation of 90,000 Israeli squatters w/ over 30,000 dead Palestinians & the relocation of over 1.5 Million Gazans. Netanyahu faces criminal charges when he leaves Office, so he's motivated 2 keep his Campaign of Genocide going. Netanyahu & the Likud Party's lust 4 a 'Greater Israel' has made Bibi determined 2 force the Palestinian Population on Egypt, & Marco Rubio seems okay w/ that.

Sen. Rafael Warnock appeared on 'Face The Nation', & pretty much echoed Sen. Rubio on Israel. He called 'The State' of Israel an Ally, but R they? The History isn't lining up w/ the Washington D.C. narrative. AIPAC is definitely getting their money's worth! Warnock then stumbled over the question of Black Voter Apathy. Blackfolk want Freedom of Expression more than the Right 2 Vote 4 Anti Black Racist 'A' or Anti Black Racist 'B'... What's his view on Black Business & Job Development in Georgia? What about Black Home Ownership? Can We get ALL of these bootlicking Ministers out of Our Politics? We need POLICY, not Sermons. How many of them actually LIVE in 'The Hood'?

Following a curious disclaimer by Kristen Welker, she proceeded 2 grill Former RNC Chairwoman & Current NBC Contributer, Rona McDaniel on 'Meet The Press'. Nothing out of the ordinary 4 Kristen, but her Panel took it up a notch. Chuck Todd started by saying NBC owed Kristen an apology 4 interviewing McDaniel(???) He went on 2 slam his 'colleague' & question NBC's decision to hire her. The other Panelists more or less agreed w/ Chuck... I found that curious. NBC has been criticized 4 its Democratic Party affiliation; Chuck Todd came across like a 'Cool Kid' who didn't want Rona McDaniel sitting @ his lunch table. I thought they were supposed 2 B 'Teammates' who agree 2 disagree... I found Myself thinking about The NY Yankees acquiring Roger Clemens. Imagine if the Players shunned 'The Rocket', bcuz of his actions during his tenure w/ the Boston Red Sox? He 'beaned' A LOT of them over the Years... Where R the Adults in The Room?!

It's pretty clear that The Powers That B believe that They have dumbed down & polarized the American Public, 2 the point that Proxies call tell Us anything. Meanwhile, Conspiracy Theories of a Cancelled 2024 Presidential Election R growing. When Alexa & Siri both have it in their Algorithm, that's cause 4 concern. Nevermind the Fact that Joe Biden just signed the 2023 Budget @ the end of the 1st Quarter of 2024. When can We expect the 2024 Budget 2 B passed? Congress is awash in Lobbyist $$$, & Our Elected Officials R actually Corporate Vassals. This degree of decadence destroyed Rome, Mali, & Kongo; America is walking the same path. The Southern Invasion is only speeding up a historical Cycle.

I have said that 2024 is a Year of Affirmation, & it's clear what Politicians R affirming. Lucky 4 Us, Real Change doesn't come from Congress, it comes from The Streets.

-It's gonna B a HOT SUMMER Family!

#LifeInBizarroWorld #Kakistocracy #AnotherHotSummer

[dapplemoth]

Omg I just found your blog, and your art is amazing!!! I didn’t know that Nightcloud and Mothwing was a ship until now, but cute gremlin Mudkit with his two moms were so adorable that I’m hooked lol. For the hypokits, how about Jayfeather and Poppyfrost?

Thank you so much! I didn't know Nightcloud and Mothwing were a ship either but it was fun writing them in the perspective of a romantic relationship. And Poppyfrost and Jayfeather is an interesting combo! For this to work, a couple things would have to change in canon. But here are the kits!

From Left to Right: Pumpkinkit and Briarkit

First off, Poppyfrost comes to a hard decision and breaks things off with Berrynose instead of remaining mates with him. They try to remain friends to raise their kits together, but it definitely takes some getting used to.

Poppyfrost never forgot what Jayfeather did for her, and would try to grow closer to him as the moons went on. It took a bit for Jay to open up enough with her, but Briarlight's insistence to let her in and Poppyfrost's general kind-heartedness won him over in the end. He, Poppyfrost, and Briarlight became greater friends than they already were, and Jayfeather ends up becoming..a lot kinder and happier than he is in the books. The old Jayfeather is definitely still there and he's still concerned with the prophecy, but Poppyfrost and Briarlight enthusiasm are one of the highlights of his day and help him forget about his problems..if only for a little while. (Disclaimer: He doesn't improve his attitude because Briar and Poppy 'fix him', its his own choice to work on himself in order to be a better friend to them.)

Some minor changes here and there, but it remains mostly the same. There’d probably be subtle hints throughout the text that Poppyfrost was seeing Jayfeather as more than a friend now, but nothing overt. Jayfeather doesn’t develop feelings for Poppyfrost until around...before the Great Battle ends? He’s incredibly ashamed with himself since he still loves Half Moon, but Half Moon shows up and one of his dreams and goes “I died like a century ago, you can move on” and thats that.

He doesn’t actually do anything for awhile since pursuing Poppyfrost would be against the medicine cat code and well..his mom did the same thing. But alas, their relationship just kind of..happened. They were dating without knowing they were dating each other and things only progressed from there. 

When Briarlight passed away it hit them hard, they were a trio and it felt like a piece of them had been ripped away. They comfort each other during this period, and share tongues frequently, discussing the best things about their departed friend. The loss is heavy on their hearts, but it makes them cherish the time they’ve been spending together.

It’s in the Broken Code when the kits are born and hooooo boy is it a development. Poppyfrost’s kits were entirely unexpected for them and of course they were panicked (Jay was also angry at himself, for roping Poppy and his kits into this mess) They both came up with a plan to hide the kits true parentage from the clan. However, Jayfeather told Poppyfrost that he wasn’t going to keep the secret that he was their father from his kits, not wanting to repeat what happened to him and his littermates. Poppyfrost agreed and some time later Briarkit and Pumpkinkit are born.

When Imposterstar starts exiling cats, Jayfeather is kicked out for being half-Windclan AND having kits with Poppyfrost which is revealed to the entire clan for the first time. Likewise, Poppyfrost and even their young kits are exiled along with him. Briarkit and Pumpkinkit hadn’t even been weaned yet, and even some of Imposterstar’s most loyal followers are shocked that he would go so far as to punish the kittens. They survive though, and when Ashfur is killed Jayfeather and Poppyfrost are not only pardoned for their codebreaking, but the medicine cat’s having no mates rule is tossed entirely due to how severe the whole Imposter situation was. Not everyone is happy that they went unpunished but nobody cares what they think; Jayfeather and Poppyfrost can be happy and raise Pumpkinkit and Briarkit in peace.

Pumpkin and Briar’s warrior names will be Pumpkinstem and Briarleaf.

#this has been in my drafts for awhile so if it looks odd that's why #sorry it took so long! #hope you like it #hypokits #jayfeather #poppyfrost #jaypoppy #moth arts #warrior cats #wc

[bolithesenate]

WIP GAME

@charmwasjess for your 2024 preview wip game i reached deep into my pockets (aka my google docs page)

from a WIP i started a while ago but i havent really touched in several months (though i am still obsessed w the idea)

there isn't enough fics out there forcussing on the AgriCorps or the ServeCorps in general so i took it into my own hands and came up with a TON of worldbuilding and at least one flowchart

this might beba bit confusing cuz of all the Corps-slang i put in, but hey. i think you can read it anyways

------------------------------------------------------

"System on the very edge of Mandalorian Space. Main planet's been experiencing abnormal atmospheric patterns over the last few weeks."

Jeisel looks up, calculation shining in her eyes. "What kind of abnormal?"

"The kind that means work for the Mercs," Ilian grins back, though it's a humorless thing, more akin to a baring of teeth. 

Immediately, Jeisel sits up, attention fully on the looming chagrian. "But it's Mandalorian Space," she warns, because someone here has to be the voice of reason and apparently that job falls to her this very moment.

"The edge of it," Ilian counters with a shrug, "And you know the Mercs. Republic borders don't really matter when you're operating outside of the Senate's graces anyways."

Which is true, of course, but Jeisel isn't concerned about the Republic side of things. They don't care an ass crack's width about the greater Corps in general. No, what she is thinking of are the very dangerous, very armed and very negatively predisposed to any Jedi activity within their borders ancestral enemies of theirs.

She frowns. "I cannot greenlight that, you know that"

Ilian lifts a brow in retaliation - an unfair move, because he knows it makes him look hotter - and crosses his arms. "Even if I tell you it's a baby signal?"

A hiss escapes her.

"Are you sure?"

He leans in over her table, tilting his head slightly and his lower horns scrape over the surface.. "I don't know. I just tell you what the AssCards told me. If they think it's a baby signal, it probably is." He rolls his eyes but Sian can tell that it's a mask. Now the strange tenseness she felt when he first crept up on her office made sense. "It's why I came straight to you, after all." Yep, there it is.

"You say Charting is saying its a baby signal?," she still is skeptical. Juniors shouldn't have been anywhere near Mandalorian space - apart from the Academy on Bandomeer… which might be the explanation she was looking for, actually. "Any word on the names? Who's gone missing in that timeframe?" If there truly were Junior Corpsmembers in trouble in Mandalorian Space then that should already have cast some waves throughout the greater Corps.

Ilian draws back, grimacing. "Well, they discovered it this morning, and so far all we know that the MediCorps is certain it's none of theirs. Wouldn't have made much sense anyways." 

Jeisel agrees there.

"We're waiting on the word from the AgriCorps," Ilian says, showing that his mind had jumped to the same place as hers, "With Bandomeer that close it could be them."

"All right," she reclines back into her chair, tapping away on the armrest, "Get someone on recon and bring me more infos. I’ll need to be able to justify this in front of the Council. Something that's not Charting guesswork and conspiracy theories."

#my fave bit: AssCards is the slang nickname for the AstroCharting subgroup of the ExploraCorps #the Aces started calling them that and it caught on #me writing #random boli thoughts

[drowninginblox]

Rewatching voltron

I’m only on season one and- I want to filter my thoughts I guess

Okay so full disclosure-

I forgot most of Voltron and I wanted to watch it again just to see where it went wrong + maybe rewrite it. Most of this list is grievances and high praises. But yknow- it’s fun for me.

Hunk deserves better

Of course best boy is going first

I distinctly remember from the end of voltron that hunk didn’t have alot of moments to shine. I’m only in episode 5 as of writing this point and I see SO MUCH PROMISE. He’s a great middle man, he’s loyal as hell, and he’s so smart! The following seasons are gonna be painful for me I know it.

“You have a better idea?” / “Actually yes I do.”

That’s it. That’s the red talk.

Coran deserves better

I want more caring dad

Why couldn’t we have more??

He cares so much for Allura and for w h a t

The “we make a good team” line + TW: Klance in general

Holy shit us Klance shippers were sooooo desperate. Like- my god. We fucking ran with that shit to the universe and back god damn. And it all started from that one line. I don’t know if I should be proud or disappointed my god.

Since we’re talking about this ship- there are a lot of missed opportunities for Keith and Lance’s dynamic and individual character. Like, I think, we all forget that Lance was the person who came up with the plan, when him and Keith were supposed to sabotage the galra forces at Balmera (living mining planet). Lance was actively aware of the planets saltines and he stopped kids from acting on his impulses, resulting in them (initially) covertly deactivating  the hanger so they can prevent further reinforcements.

I also don’t like how the scene introduces Keith’s heritage. I understand that this is a set up for a greater plot point and we’re not really supposed to know how Keith activates galra tech but- fuck I need to go on a tangent in the later seasons if I go along with this series of blog posts, I guess

Gundom every few episode format

POWER RANGERS TAKE NOTES

Holy shit I LOVE that a group of episodes are dedicated to arcs that help the main story and THAT THE BIG MONSTER DOESN’T SHOW UP EVERY EPISODE

If only we had this more often-

Ages

I do not know how old these fuckers are and that is concerning. The only information I have on age is one of the Galra generals calling Pidge a child when they were taking over the castle. Like- Voltron please tell me how old these mfs are.

I have my own HCs ofc but like- CMON.

Speaking of, Pidge is giving 14-16, Hunk, Lance, Keith and Allura are giving 17 to 18, Shiro is giving 18-25, and Coran is at a good 34-40 not including the 10000 year long freeze Allura and Coran went through

Minor characters

I love the tribal civilization at inhabits allura’s home planet

The POWs, Shay’s people, the mercenaries, I love all of these guys

I like how the planets are alive

Just- good job Voltron for universe building

The lions are their own characters

I really like the idea of the lions being specific with who they allow in as their pilots. However, I wish that the selectiveness was a longer process. And key situation it was a life or death one. It felt like the redline had to actively choose, whether or not to save him from the deep vacuum of space. Meanwhile, for pitch it was just oh hop in and get going you know. Same with Shiro I get that he unlocked the synchronicity of the lien and pilot relationship immediately, but it feels too give in.

Piggybacking off of that I don’t like that Alura basically assigns the paladins Hogwarts houses as soon as she sees them. I think that’s bullshit. I got that she grew up with the lions and was born shortly after their creation but still. 

I also like how during battle of the lines actively recommend which strategies and weapons, the pilot should use, and which ones they refused to go along with

Also- element powers?? I miss those

Quintessence

Idk the yellow goo before being refined into quintessence having healing properties- WHY WAS THAT FORGOTTEN??? That could’ve been huge! Even if it only applies to galuras

Also- god I wish there was rules for Allurans powers and wtf quintessence is.

The Black Lion (the episode not the actual mech)

I forgot so much of this season holy shit.

The main conflict being tied to Shiro connection w/ his lion is a great plot point

It also is a great reveal that Zarkon is the original black palidin. I love how the B

Also- Shiro coming head to head with his PTSD is m w a h

Peak Keith in this ep (for this season ofc) Ofc he would take on Zarkon by himself. I’m so mad I forgot about that

THE BLADE!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally screamed when I saw them lol

#voltron #voltron legendary defender #voltron season 1 #voltron rewatch #maybe a #voltron rewrite #? #maybe

[the-fae-folk]

The Final Wall (Part 1)

Greetings, my child. I wish to talk about something I've been pondering for some time now. The Fourth Wall. In truth, there is a great deal of literature and media that concerns this. The very origin of this line of thinking was born from the older 90s animated cartoons that featured characters being aware of the fourth wall and making quips and jokes that reference the fact that they're characters in a show and what that means. In those cartoons, it was mainly used for purposes of comedy. But it has been taken more seriously in other works. "Stranger than Fiction" (2006) Involved a character who became aware of his nature as a character in a novel and tried to seek out the author and change his fate. "The Lego Movie" (2014) Despite being a comedy, this film had a very brief exploration of characters in a world becoming aware of their nature as toys and their role within the story's narrative. "The Truman Show" (1998) A live-action film that featured a character who became aware that his entire life was a constructed television show for the entertainment of others. Though he did actually break past a kind of fourth wall, the true audience of the film, us, are pushed back once more behind a fifth wall. And there are other works of various mediums that do explore the themes and ideas inherent in meta-fiction to various degrees. But in a way, no matter what walls the character breaks, no matter the things they become aware of, they are still behind a nearly impenetrable barrier. A wall that neither they nor we can seem to break. That is the barrier between what is fiction and what is real. Despite what I've just said, there are some ways that characters in stories already break this boundary. To do this, they must be able to not only become aware of, but move completely beyond the control of, the writer. They must be able to influence the real world, and not just another layer of the world of fiction. And many characters, aware or not, already do this. Perhaps they cannot physically manifest into our world, but knowing and experiencing their stories through our various mediums can have profound influences on us and our lives, can guide us, heal us, give us new insight, can teach us, can confuse us, can frighten us, can anger us, can make us think. Their stories are real, in the sense that they become more than simply words upon a page or pixels on a screen, they are real in a metaphysical sense... a growing entity that is shared and fed by everyone who is in some way influenced by their story. And it will grow and change and continue to exert its influence as we interact with it. It is an idea, real but not corporeal. But it is not alive, or at least I do not think that such a thing would be alive in the way we understand living things. Perhaps there is a line of thought to be explored concerning the nature of ideas as living metaphysical entities, an amalgamate being born and sustained by the collective thoughts and emotions of many people, just as we are made of trillions of small single celled organisms. A symbiotic community that forms one greater form of life. Yet that is not what I wished to discuss here... My train of thoughts was more concerned with the nature of agency in a story. We can write all kinds of things about characters who fight for agency, and in much meta-fiction we find them gaining some semblance of it. Often a character will break free from their own reality and move outward into a greater meta-fictional world. However this is not true agency. They are still a product of their creator. Every thought they have, every action they take, every aspect of their entire world is crafted by their creator, or sometimes by their audience. No matter how many walls they break, they can never have a moment of true agency because they are fictional, they are not real in a way that would allow them to truly act independently from any outside force. Of course, there are some that would argue that we don't know if we have such agency either. But that's an existential discussion for another day.

#agency #fiction #metafiction #writing #reality #character #story #In three parts because tumblr wouldn't let me post the thing in full

[lenbryant]

LONG POST "Go take a shower, Bill!" and thank you, Craig Mazin, for fleshing out these characters from the game. Best episode yet.

The Last of Us, Episode Three

From LATimes: Why HBO’s ‘The Last of Us’ changed Bill and Frank’s story - Los Angeles Times

Jan. 29, 2023 7:14 PM PT

This story contains spoilers for Episode 3 of HBO’s “The Last of Us” and corresponding moments from the 2013 videogame.

The third episode of “The Last of Us” takes viewers back to the beginning of the world’s fungal apocalypse.

Sunday’s installment, the most intimate of the series so far, introduces audiences to Bill (Nick Offerman), a gun-toting, paranoid, self-described survivalist who appears to have been one of the few people prepared to live in the world following the mysterious mutant cordyceps outbreak. Bill’s mistrust of the government meant that instead of being rounded up with the other residents of his town, he stayed behind to build a fortified base around his home, ready to live out the rest of his days blissfully alone.

Except he doesn’t end up alone. A few years after the outbreak, a weary traveler named Frank (Murray Bartlett) is caught in one of Bill’s traps. Against his better judgment, Bill lets Frank into his compound for what is intended to be a momentary respite. The episode goes on to detail how the two men fall in love and spend the rest of their lives together.

For “The Last of Us” co-creator and executive producer Craig Mazin, Bill and Frank were an opportunity to show that even in a series based on a video game, death doesn’t mean failure.

“They reach an end on their own terms,” Mazin said during a recent video call. “And like Bill says, ‘I’m old, I’m satisfied, and you were my purpose.’ That feels like a victory to me.”

But more important, their relationship shows the audience, as well as a reluctant Joel (Pedro Pascal), that even in this terrifying, dangerous world, love and happiness are not only attainable but also worth it. Bill and Frank’s story is integral to the series and completely original from the Bill and Frank story told in “The Last of Us” video game.

Two men holding hands while sitting at a dinner table in "The Last of Us."

Frank (Murray Bartlett, left) and Bill (Nick Offerman) share their final meal together in “The Last of Us.”

(HBO)

“For people who played the game and loved the game, this is pretty much all entirely new,” said Mazin. “The story of Bill and Frank and the letter that Bill leaves behind [in the show] is such a huge part of why Joel decides he’s going to keep going [on this journey] with Ellie … Their relationship ultimately becomes kind of the skeleton key to unlock all of this show, as far as I’m concerned.”

Bill and Frank’s story is far more tragic in the game. Much like in the show, Joel and Ellie seek out Bill because they need a vehicle for their cross-country journey. They encounter Bill alive, and the player must work together with him to make it across town to get necessary equipment. Along the way, Bill mentions a former “partner” named Frank before the group discovers a body and learns that Frank has hanged himself after being bitten by the infected. Some optional digging around can lead to the player finding a letter Frank has left for Bill, telling him, “I hated your guts.”

Neil Druckmann, the series co-creator and executive producer who also wrote the original game, credits the initial idea of Bill to “The Last of Us” game director Bruce Straley. The idea behind Bill, Druckmann said, was to introduce “someone that lives on their own” who is “kind of kooky, because what are you surviving for at that point?”

According to Druckmann, Bill’s backstory involving a previous partner was something thatwas developed up over the course of the game’s production. Although he had written Bill and Frank’s relationship to be romantic — because that would be a greater loss — Druckmann left it up to Bill’s actor, W. Earl Brown, to interpret whether the character was gay. And he did. (As Druckmann himself says in the game’s commentary, Bill’s sexuality and the nature of Bill and Frank’s “partnership” are never explicitly mentioned in the game. But it can be inferred by a magazine Ellie finds and shows Joel.)

According to Straley, the reason for Bill’s existence in the game is that he’s “a person who had genuine feelings for another human being in that world, and is having a reaction to that [relationship ending]. That reaction is being projected onto Joel and Ellie’s relationship.”

While Bill vocalizes one warning — that getting close to someone is how you get killed in the world of the game — his purpose is to serve as the opposite. Bill is a glimpse of the kind of person Joel could become if he continues to avoid getting close to others: eccentric, bitter and alone.

Mazin saw the TV adaptation as a chance for Bill and Frank to live a different story. Whereas the game is limited, for the most part, to telling its narrative through the perspective of Joel in order to give players an immersive experience, television has more freedom.

A man standing next to another man seated at a piano in "The Last of Us."

Bill (Nick Offerman, left) and Frank (Murray Bartlett) getting to know each other in “The Last of Us.”

(Liane Hentscher / HBO)

For Mazin, Bill and Frank were an opportunity to show Joel and the audience that “there is a way for people to achieve a kind of peace and happiness and love in this world.”

Besides being a way for the series to show time elapsing from the beginning of the pandemic to the show’s present for the first time, Bill and Frank provided the opportunity to portray “two human beings who have been in a committed relationship for a really long time,” said Mazin.

It was an important opportunity to show a pair of lives well-lived. Because for all of the dangers that exist in the world of the show, Bill and Frank found each other and lived a life together. The care that Mazin and the show’s creatives took in telling their story and depicting their relationship is clear.

“I think in a show like this, where the world around our characters is constantly pressuring them … there is the tendency for endings to be tragic and violent and abrupt and too soon,” said Mazin. “And I thought it was important to show how a relationship could endure, and then conclude in a natural way. Because death is a perfectly natural thing to do.”

“The whole thing is about hope and humanity being able to construct hope and believe hope,” said Peter Hoar, the episode’s director. “The reason we believe in anything is because we think it’s going to help us. Faith, or otherwise, it’s something that you construct around you to go, ‘Yeah, see, it’s worth it.’ For that to be a gay love story, an LGBTQ love story, was just the icing on the cake.”

While there have been rumblings that Episode 3 could be divisive among existing “Last of Us” fans, Hoar believes they deserve more credit.

“They know why they like ‘The Last of Us,’” said Hoar. “Yes, the game play was good, but they liked ‘The Last of Us’ because of how it made them feel. I think that’s what we do in Episode 3. We make you feel it.”

Two men talking in the street "The Last of Us."

“The Last of Us’” Joel (Pedro Pascal, left) and Bill (Nick Offerman) are cut from the same mold.

(Liane Hentscher / HBO)

Ultimately, the tragedy of Episode 3 is not how Bill and Frank have chosen to die together, but the message that Bill has left for Joel in a letter. Because Bill saw a kindred spirit in Joel as someone who protects those they love, he bequeaths everything he owns to Joel so he can keep Tess safe.

“Bill doesn’t know that Joel has failed,” said Mazin. “Not once, mind you, but twice. Joel has failed to keep his daughter alive. He’s failed to keep Tess alive. And now, his only chance to be the person that Bill says he is, is to keep this kid [Ellie] alive.”

Druckmann, for his part, is pleased that the game inspired the emotional story told in Episode 3.

“I feel like this sequence is really beautiful, and it’s really beautiful for the show in a way that we couldn’t do in the game,” said Druckmann. “Even though that episode deviates quite a bit from the game, and the fate of the character is different from the game. It’s so beautiful and so moving that I think it’s worth it.”

Times game critic Todd Martens contributed to this story.

‘The Last of Us’

Where: HBO

When: Sunday, 9 p.m.

Streaming: HBO Max, any time

Rating: TV-MA (may be unsuitable for children under the age of 17)

#craig mazin #hbo #hbo max #murray bartlett #nick offerman #pedro pascal #the last of us #zombies #science fiction #horror #lgbt #lgbtqia+ #lgbtqia2s+ #go take a shower bill

[alienaiver]

Chapter 3: Collision [FINAL]

Chapter summary: You're traveling to the duchy where the root of the issues might be. The bond with your advisor deepens and truths are unconvered, in every sense of the word.

Warnings for this chapter: someone gets stabbed in this, and another get an arrow to the head so uh. warnings for that? theres also some in-fighting but its not like, dramatic overkill!

Wordcount: 12k [...hehe]

Chapter content: fluff, sfw, fantasy AU, royalty AU, MEDIUM!!! angst, genderneutral reader, poc and bodytype!friendly reader, no use of y/n, more ‘your majesty‘, im bullshitting my astrology knowledge i apologize to ppl who actually knows shit, happy ending, kissing is minor but THERE IS KISSING, THERES STABBING AND BLOOD HERE THO, descriptions of fights/battles but im not very sufficient in them so it  stays light LMFAO,

notes: i APOLOGIZE MY ASS OFF FOR THE DELAY. i got hit by an intense ass flu, so i could barely text normally the past week!! BUT HERE IT IS.... my god. this world. i have so much more information and world building that will never see the light of day. i wanted to still keep the focus on suga and reader, so i apologize if some of my world building has felt like it falls short now that its done. it was mostly just to show there was more, without diving deeper. i also have intricate backstories for everyone involved and love charts LMFAAAAAO. the economic history has been worked on as well even tho no economy is shown here LMFAO MY DUMBASS  DOING MATH. if youd like me to expand on other characters or other parts, i might be feeling up to it heheeh<33333 ENJOY!!! im gonna go treat myself to my friend’s ice cream in my freezer JFESKJFSK

ALSO in tryibg to fix the spaces between paragraphs, but tumblr's new psot editor is messing w me. so please bear w me! 🧡 (if youd like to avoid the spacing issue until im able to fix it, theres no issues in ao3! the link to the story is on the series masterlist!) ✨

previous ┋ series masterlist ┋ first chapter

Sugawara’s sitting in the servant’s kitchens, drinking ale with Sawamura and Azumane.

Or more truthfully put, Sawamura and Azumane are drinking ale. Sugawara’s fighting to stay awake and stay part of their current subject. They’re talking animatedly in front of him but he can’t for the life of him follow suit. You’re currently eating a leisurely lunch with Bokuto and his fiancé, Akaashi Keiji, in the gardens before they’re taking their leave tomorrow and travel back to the empire.

You’ve given Sugawara time off but he hardly knows how to pass such hours anymore. There’s always something to do – so when both Azumane and Sawamura was off as well, they all decided to eat lunch together.

“You need to work less, Suga.” Sawamura scolds, his hand pushing at Sugawara’s plate as to regain his attention. He brushes him off as he stifles a yawn, “thanks for the encouragement Daichi, but it’s just sleep that’s the issue, is all.”

Azumane frowns in concern but isn’t sure how to convince Sugawara either, “we never see you around anymore,” he tries and Sugawara smiles, “I appreciate your concern Asahi, however, to support my crown I will do what it takes.”

They both shake their heads and Sugawara sighs as he leans his head in his palm, “I like what I do, you know? It enriches me. When I look at them, all I see is the bright future that shines on Karasuno. They just need a push, is all.”

They nod in unison, “yeah, there’s something to agree on. They have the proper air around them, too.” Sawamura sighs as he crosses his arms, a satisfactory smile on his lips. Azumane smiles too as he takes a sip of his ale, “they’ve come so far. Nothing has brought me greater joy than supporting them through it all.”

Sugawara sends Azumane a beaming smile, “exactly! You spend just as much time with the crown as I do – so there’s no problem, right?”

They laugh and shake their heads at him, “there’s nothing we can say to make you change trajectory anyways, Suga. But please remember to rest.”

The talk branches off to different subjects – mainly Sawamura’s complaints about the new troublemakers in his personnel. They’re talented with weapons and hard-working, but the barracks has never been as chaotic as they are right now. It’s giving Sawamura new wrinkles to worry about.

Sugawara zones out of the conversation as he thinks back to late last night. He’d found you in the map room – the room that had unofficially become your meeting place – exhausted. The bags under your eyes were hardly possible to hide on top of the greying of your skin. After that afternoon where he’d helped you sleep some moons ago, there’d been no repeats and he wasn’t so arrogant to suggest his help himself to the crown. He might’ve even done it wrong for all he knows.

You’d sat with your head resting in your hands, looking pointedly at documents in front of you but Sugawara had a feeling you weren’t looking at anything of this world.

He’d been right.

You hadn’t registered his appearing and the moment he cleared his throat you’d jumped up from the chair with fear and panic in your widened eyes. His arms had shot up to show he meant no harm and as you’d registered his face, you’d become visibly calmer.

Sugawara had ended up going to the guard’s kitchens to grab a bowl of the hot porridge always freshly served for any guards on night duty and spoon-feeding it to you. He’s sure it had been awkward for you, even if you were the one who suggested that he did so, but for him it was an entirely different experience. He’d felt your breath on his hand when it came close to your face and he swore he had almost felt your heart beating, that’s how close he’d been.

He can’t possibly tell of this to Sawamura and Azumane – the teasing would be relentless.

Midday turns to late afternoon and as the sun is slowly setting behind the mountains, Sugawara is called upon by a maid. You’re in his study and require him to attend you.

When he reaches the door left ajar, he sneaks a peek before announcing himself. You’re standing by his window, your hand outreached towards the stained glass, admiring the light’s reflection onto your palm. the sun bounces off of you and leaves you in an ethereal glow. You remind him of the bright guiding star on the night sky.

This is when you’re the most beautiful, Sugawara thinks and holds his breath.

You retract your arm from the sun’s rays and drag your fingers over some of the books on his shelves. It’s the fictional section and he feels a touch of embarrassment at your possible scrutiny. He hears a low chuckle leave you as stop by a small row with a few children’s books. They’re worn out – mostly because he’s used them when telling stories and teaching children how to use letters, but also simply from age. They’re the first gift from his mentor and he holds them close in his heart.

To Sugawara’s surprise, you turn around and look directly at him. Then, you let out a surprised yelp when you see him. Your hand travels to your chest, “oh, I apologize Sugawara, I neither saw nor heard you.” you laugh and he shakes his head and bows lightly, “no the fault is mine, your majesty. I apologize for startling you.”

You laugh it off and sit yourself down by his desk, “the lunch with Bokuto went well, I take it?” he asks as he rounds the armchair to sit down, keeping his gaze on you. You hum out a reply as you settle better into his chair, dragging your open palms over his desk, “I’ll miss him and Akaashi when they leave. You’re joining us for supper, correct? It won’t be for the full court, for the sake of privacy.” Sugawara raises his eyebrows but keeps his stare level, “pardon?” he asks and you chuckle, “I’d like you to be there. The chefs are making your favorite.”

His favorite?

The chefs – who cook for the royal court – is making his favorite meal from his hometown? A nervous laugh escapes him, “your majesty, are you serving spiced tofu to your royal visitors?”

A smile as mischievous as your personality graces your features as you nod, “I’m sure Bokuto and Akaashi will enjoy it as well! And I’m curious about it too. It’s been on my mind since you told me about it.”

Maybe he shouldn’t have, he thinks for a short panicked moment.

He’s not sure how highly spiced the chefs will prepare it – hopes it won’t be – but he can’t be certain. His dream isn’t to offend the royal tastebuds of his crown and other royal entities. You bark out a laugh, one that comes deep within your stomach and sound off of the room, “you seem perplexed, Sugawara.”

Sugawara nods, “do you enjoy spiced food, your majesty?”

You smile, big and proud, “I can take anything.”

You couldn’t.

Since you’d been so wise to ask the chefs to create it as true to its original form, the spice level had been nothing to scoff at. In your defense, Sugawara thinks you’re holding out really well, considering.

Bokuto’s handling it worse than you, constantly scarfing down the offered milk while Akaashi enjoys it in silence. Sugawara’s not sure whether or not that’s positive, but decides to take it as a win either way. The dinner drags on with the minstrel playing for them struggling to keep a neutral face. Sugawara’s not sure telling Azumane and Sawamura about this spectacle in front of him would count as treason against the crown.

“You’re in love with them, aren’t you?”

Sugawara’s chokes on his own spit at Akaashi’s blunt question during the final evening walk of the gardens. It’s become a habit during their stay, and you and Bokuto are currently walking further ahead, opting for conversational privacy for a few short moments. Sugawara hadn’t expected Akaashi to speak much to him, let alone confront him like this. Akaashi smiles and looks up at the sky, “the night sky’s so beautiful out here. It reminds me of the place where Bokuto proposed to me.”

Sugawara nods, confusion evident on his face, “that does indeed sound romantic, your majesty.”

Akaashi nods his head towards you, “they like the stars too, don’t they? You should take advantage of that knowledge.”

Before Sugawara can ask him to elaborate, Bokuto calls on them both and he gives Sugawara a court smile, “I think the chances align in your favor, dear advisor.” And with that, he walks up to Bokuto and kisses him on the cheek.

It takes Sugawara a few short moments to restart his mind, being called out of his stupor by you, asking if he’d like to retreat for the night. There’s a question for concern hidden in the syllables and the gentleness of your gaze that makes his palms sweat.

                                                          ///    

Bokuto and Akaashi departs your kingdom without further incident, and Sugawara feels like he can finally relax in several days. The moment Bokuto and his entourage has left the courtyard, Sugawara notices how your shoulders slump slightly as well. It must’ve been more draining for you than he can even imagine. While you and Bokuto are on much more even ground, he’s sure the need to pose correctly still lingers at all times.

“Sugawara, what does the court say about my marriage opportunities?”

He tries to keep his face as neutral as possible, to hide the surprise from the sudden question in the middle of your lunch in the map room. You haven’t been in here for longer than small moments while Bokuto had been visiting, so it’s nice to finally sit in here again, just the two of you. To gain a moment where he can gather himself, Sugawara takes a bite of his bread and hums, signaling that he needs to finish chewing. You wait patiently with a neutral expression.

He then brushes his palms against each other to get rid of any loose breadcrumbs, “there currently aren’t any official suitors, if that’s what you’re asking.”

You smile and take a sip of your tea, placing it down gently, “my question pertained more in regard to our laws. With whom can I marry? What are my restrictions?”

Sugawara swallows thickly again, letting his mind stay close to simple facts and not emotions, “well there’s quite a bit of history there. In the olden days, the crown was allowed to appoint anyone – although most of the weddings still related mostly to those of royal blood, your great-great-grandmother married a commoner – to which her son was so enraged that the bloodline was sullied,” you both make a grimace at this part of the story, “that he forbade such matrimonies when he ascended the throne.”

You sigh and deflate down into the chair, “what an unsettling man.” Sugawara nods in agreement and gently folds his napkin over the plate to signal that he finished eating, “a lot of laws were created during his reign that most don’t agree with.”

”I can’t imagine he was very popular.”

Sugawara tuts at you, “now, now, your majesty. You mustn’t speak ill of the dead.”

You sigh and give him a look – one that signals that it may not matter as much to you. Sugawara then clears his throat and with a voice pitched higher than he’d have liked, asks, “a-anyways, what brought this on, your majesty? If I may be so presumptuous to ask.”

You tense up suddenly, clearing your own throat and hastily gathering your cutlery on your plate, clearing your throat a second time before you answer, “oh! Oh, well. Akaashi’s a commoner and it just… it got me thinking, you know?” your hand travels to the back of your neck to scratch while you let out a soft laugh. Sugawara smiles gently at you, happy to hear you might’ve found someone – even if he thinks you should focus on your duties for an extended period of time before marrying (that’s what he tells himself is the reason, at least, when he’s back in his own sleeping chambers that night). You don’t bring up the subject again, and Sugawara tells himself he shouldn’t pry.

                                                          ///    

Sawamura walks around the map room, his armor newly polished and shiny. You’re sitting upright in a chair with Sugawara standing next to you, arms on his back. Azumane’s there too, sitting on a stool to the right of the table. Sawamura’s waiting for his underlings to arrive, his eyebrows getting more and more furrowed with every moment they’re leaving him waiting. The mood is tense in the room and you’re afraid of making small-talk – you can’t stifle the yawn that threatens to spill and look at Azumane, who you inevitably infect with the need as well. He gives you a reassuring smile and just then you hear the sounds of someone yelling as the sound of their armor indicates that they’re running in your direction.

Sawamura hurries to the door and lets out a hushed but no less powerful, “hey!” which makes Hinata and Kageyama halt in their movements. He ushers them inside and sigh deeply, “your behavior could cost a life on a battlefield,” he scolds and you hurry to get up with a kind smile, “luckily it wasn’t on the battlefield, Sawamura, let us excuse this honest blunder and get started, shall we?” you send Hinata and Kageyama a look that you hope shows them you won’t bail them out of a scolding a second time.

It’s past 3AM and the moon’s high in the sky. You’ve all rendezvoused in the map room to plan what you hope will stay a secret plan until you’ve left the keep in a few days.

The information that Bokuto offered you has meant tremendously in the investigation and yesterday you finally convinced Sugawara to let you go with them as they’re traveling to the Hiashi duchy to figure it all out once for and for all. There are gaps in the knowledge that the kingdom pertains and what seems to be the actual reality.

You’d like the arrival to the duchy to be as quiet as possible, gaining momentum before a possible uprising will occur if the news reach them before their arrival. Sawamura originally wanted two other guards with him, more seasoned ones he knows and trusts well, but Hinata is from the area that you’re going to, and Sugawara convinced Sawamura of the importance of someone they already trust as a local.

Sawamura goes over your travel route, of the places and areas where you’ll be resting. There’ll be tent-sleeping and as little contact to the people of the kingdom as possible. Your face is already known and he won’t risk this information breaching containment. His guards are well underway packing all of your needs and supplies – you will all travel as light as possible, meaning everyone will have to carry their weight. As he says this, he gives you an apologetic look that makes you snort out loud, “I am fully capable, sir. There shan’t be any complaints from my shoulders.”

You miss the proud gleam from your advisor as Azumane reaches for your shoulder to give it a reassuring squeeze.

The plan is simple, really. For you, it feels like an adventurous and exciting quest but you know, based on Sawamura’s tight demeanor, that there’ll be dangers lurking. He wouldn’t bring in so many neutral guards to travel in the radius around you if it wasn’t – not to mention his loud protests when you demanded to join him.

Sugawara had to calm him down after that and it wasn’t until that moment you realized the weight you’ve put on his shoulders by joining this mission – he’d already lost your father to a faceless enemy. One he’s hopefully going to face again if the outcome of this hunt goes right. What if he isn’t strong enough to protect you as well?

                                                          ///    

It turns out there wasn’t much for him to worry about, as you’re at the end of the first week of traveling with no issues. The fears Sawamura conjured in all of your minds on the night you left seems so far away now, with the quiet travels you’ve experienced. You’re in one of the middle duchies, Kogeno, and the weather tonight is clear and fresh. Spring is nearing and the tips of the mountains aren’t all white anymore.

Yesterday, Sugawara showed you one of the spring flowers in bloom. Kageyama accidentally trampled it down with the mule shortly after.

You’ve taken a liking to the night shifts. You’re traveling with two tents, one for you and one for the rest of them – you’ve tried protesting this multiple times, seeing no need to carry both when there’d be room for you in theirs. None of them has accepted that, though, fiercely arguing about your title as crown and theirs as commoners. You aren’t sure how to tell them it’s lonely without sounding too much like a child. Azumane sometimes comes in and holds your hand, but you know he leaves your tent shortly after you’ve dozed off.

Night shifts are less lonely since no one takes them alone. You’ve gotten closer to Hinata, learning about his hometown and his dream of becoming a knight. How no one believed him and he was ridiculed for such a dream due to his short stature. He’d proudly puffed out his chest the night you’d told him that you’d appoint him a title after the travels were over, “I’ll even send home an official letter to your family.” You’d added with a wink, and his eyes had turned bigger than you thought possible.

The day after, Sugawara had scolded you that you mustn’t make such promises to such a young guard. You’d dismissed him.

Tonight, you and Sugawara has the shift together. You take a sip of your tea and sigh, “it sure is quaint out here,” you muse and Sugawara chuckles, “you seem to have fallen quite in love with the countryside.”

You look at him longingly and smile, “well, it’s quite the view.”

He doesn’t notice how your gaze lingers on him and just smiles into the distance, “it is. I haven’t ever been this far south.”

You wrap yourself up more in the blanket that Sugawara draped over you earlier, when your watch started. You then gather the courage to ask him, “are you happy with your work?”

You’re not sure if he turns his head to look at you or not, your eyes fixated on a rock further ahead in your line of vision, afraid that his answer might not be what you’re looking for. You spent so many years admiring the relationship between your father and his advisor, counting down the days until you’d be the one bound in an oath like that. You’re not sure it is what you expected.

You’re not sure you’re supposed to look at his lips so much.

Sugawara sighs and stretches his arms, “it sure is work, your majesty.”

It takes a moment for you to register his joke, to understand that he’s making fun of you, your expression not as schooled as you’d like it to be. You kick his shin and he chuckles before taking a sip of his own tea. It’s elfbark, harvested a few days prior when he took you foraging – he’d even held your hand as you went over a creek.

“There’s no greater thing for me to do, your majesty. I told you, remember? That I dreamt of grandness, to help the Karasuno Kingdom reclaim its former glory before the Third Age.”

You hum out a reply and look into the fire in front of you, “do you think I shall be able to achieve that? Continue my father’s work?”

Sugawara puts down his cup and leans closer to you, his brown boot lightly touching yours. A way to make a connection. You notice the dirt on the leather. You think this may be the first time you’ve ever had boots this dirty outside of the keep. Sugawara points up at the night sky,

“You remind me of the guiding star, your majesty. Your glow is magnificent and empowering, you’ll lead this country to greatness. Do you not trust the Farseers?”

You huff out a laugh, trying to hide the flustered expression on your face by looking back at the tents, avoiding his intense gaze, “it is not that I do not trust them, Sugawara, but being called the ‘Bringer of Serenity’ feels like a title meant for someone else.” you admit, for the first time out loud to anyone ever since the premonition was brought to you by the Farseer clan when you were just short of 14. You’re not sure when you started to feel like an impostor. It’s been a while since those thoughts journeyed your mind last.

You haven’t had such thoughts since Sugawara came into your life.

“You’re my earth, Sugawara.”

You blurt it out before you can stop yourself – before you can think through the heaviness of the words. Spiraling in your mind, you don’t notice the way Sugawara’s breath hitches or the way his eyes widen, his mouth hanging open. There’s a silence stretching between you until Sugawara manages to close his mouth and bite his lip.

“Pardon, your majesty?”

You can’t retract it now – you might as well be honest. Didn’t your father always tell you to never hide any parts of yourself for your advisor?

You heave in a big breath, “you ground me. I may be a star to you, up in the sky where nothing can reach me. But I get to admire you, look at you. To be reminded of who I’m shining for. A constant reassurance that you’ll always be there.”

Sugawara doesn’t reply to you immediately and you cough into your sleeve to hide your face, not able to look him in the eye just yet.

As the silence stretches out you whine and give in and look up at him. Sugawara’s simply looking at you with the warm smile that makes your insides melt. If it weren’t for the darkness of the night, you’d know that his lash line is wet, but he gets to keep that information to himself. You raise an eyebrow, “’cause you will always be here…. Right?”

His warm and affectionate smile turns into a face splitting grin, the gooey mess in your stomach suddenly sprouting wings and flying rapidly, desperately around inside you, “of course, your majesty.”

A few more days pass in peace, the setting up of tents your biggest worry. There are two mules with you, ones that Kageyama and Hinata takes care of. It’s not until you’re at the borders between Kogeno and Hiashi that trouble arise. There’re scouts positioned in a two-and-a-half-mile radius traveling alongside you, even if you’d insisted there was no need. Sawamura hadn’t budged on the subject and the hardened look he’d given you made you shrink in on yourself, remembering the burden you’ve put on him.

Some scouts didn’t report back to Sawamura and some went missing. Sawamura’s sitting by the fire with Sugawara, a tense silence draped over them. “I think it’d be safer to return with the crown.” Sawamura says, his eyebrows furrowed. Sugawara hums, “I’m not sure they’ll do that. They’re just as determined as you are, if not more.”

Sawamura heaves a big sigh as he straightens his back, lifts his arms above his head and gain a satisfying pop of joints. Sugawara scrunches his nose up at the noise – he’ll never be one to enjoy that sound.

“Won’t they listen to you?”

Sugawara scoffs out a laugh as he takes a sip of his mug of ale, “as capable as they recognize me to be, if their heart is set on something, none of my academic words will matter.”

You’re all out in the woods with no one around you, so everyone lets their guard down. There’s quiet, only the sounds of critters. Sawamura flinches a few times but Sugawara doesn’t notice.

The mules, which are tied up next to your tent, start whinnying and moving restlessly, and that’s when Sugawara notices.

There’s a fire at the side of your tent.

He flies up, his mug thrown to the ground as he runs towards the entrance, glad to see the fire’s still small. “Daichi!” he calls as he hurls open the latch of the cotton door. Sawamura yells in the distance and out of his peripheral vision he sees Kageyama and Hinata jump out of their tent.

You’re asleep. He flies to his knees in front of your bedding, “your majesty!” he calls and you open your eyes, confused and disoriented, “we have to get out!” is all Sugawara says before he pulls you against him and out of the tent. You both land on the ground outside, coughing.

There are other people now. Sugawara belatedly hears the clashing of swords, commands and running. It takes him a moment to orient himself, shielding you underneath him on the ground. You start to claw at his arms, “I can fight too!” you yell, and he hushes you, “we’re not sure what our enemy is here,” he half-whispers as he makes a headcount. He’s not sure if they’ve noticed you’re out of your tent, alive. You grab on to the ground underneath you and manage to crawl free of Sugawara’s grasp, running to your sword placed by the supplies, ready to grab and defend with if needed.

There’s more yelling, and you manage to land a hit on someone using an axe. Commands of killing the crown are shouted all around you and Sawamura’s back hits yours, “your majesty, please escape.” He says and you let out a hysterical scoff, “I’m not”- you land a hit on the hip of the enemy in front of you- “leaving you all behind!” you finish, shouting as you kick the person away. They fall to the ground, weapon lost on the way down. The fire from your tent lights up the place in an almost magnificent glow.

Someone shouts something about daggers, you think it might be Hinata. You turn your head, and then you see it.

The dagger hurled toward you makes your eyes widen in fear, freezing you into place. You want to dodge – knows how to, yet you’re unable. You hear the shouting of your men from all around you, amplified by the sound of weapons continually clashing. You’re able to filter out Sugawara’s voice in all the noise as he calls your name – your name. It’s the first time you hear him use it and you almost want to scoff at how the mind processes all of this in such short moments. This must be what it feels like to know you’ll die. An image of your father appears in your mind.

And then you’re roughly pushed to the ground, exclaiming a groan at the impact with another human, hearing his cry into your shoulder as you both crash onto the ground. All sounds are now muffled and you feel intensely the pressure on your ribs from the weight of the other, the pebbles digging into your hip from the ground and then, then you feel a warm liquid trickle down over your collarbone and jaw. You briefly wonder if it’s yours but can, in those short seconds, locate no penetrated part of you that’d make you bleed, heaving in a deep breath filled with the dust of the ground.

Your eyes travel to the tuft of grey hair tickling your cheek and it’s then the bubble that had closed your ears pop sharply, making every sound all too loud and all too much again. On top of you, Sugawara is groaning in pain before he rolls off to the ground next to you, apologizing in a strained voice for getting blood on you.

The dagger, meant for your heart, is lodged into his shoulder and he’s bent awkwardly in an attempt to hide it from you with his left arm. You desperately pull his other arm away to assess the damage and there’s more than just one scolding going through your mind as you see how much blood is running down over his arm and chest, though no constructive words are able to pass your lips, only panicked one-syllable words. Sugawara’s already heavily damaged, not one used to fighting like this. There’s already bruising forming on his face, his brow split and bleeding. He’s groaning in obvious agony.

Words are being shouted around you and one repeats itself continuously, “run, your majesty!”

It’s not a demand, it’s a plead. Sawamura’s voice sounds desperate and coarse as he fights off another attacker with his sword. The meaning behind the words has changed since he started shouting them at the beginning of the ambush and for the first time since drawing out your sword, you decide to heed his words. You send him a determined nod and his gratitude gives him new power to charge an enemy.

“I’m sorry, Koushi, please hold on,” you whisper and Sugawara starts whining and trashing as you try to carry him off of the ground. His voice is garbled as the four words departs him, “leave me. Hide.”

You laugh, almost hysterically as you get his arm over your shoulders, “you can make this easier for me or not, I won’t leave you.”

The fear of losing Sugawara gives you new strength and while limping on your right leg, you manage to carry the both of you into the nearby bushes off of the road. You have half a mind to look back and check if anyone’s following you, but it’ll slow you down to turn your head, so you decide to trust Sawamura and his men. You know more arrived shortly after the ambush, the back-up guards Sawamura has had stationed in a radius around you ever since you left Karasu Keep. You’re not sure how many successfully fell to the ground up until this point, but hope you’ve outnumbered them by now.

The shouting becomes quieter, the throbbing of your head becoming louder. Out here there’s no light, the bushes and trees blocking off the light from the fire in the camp. Blearily, you locate a bigger bush and decides to push yourself and Sugawara inside of it to hide. He groans loudly at the impact, and as you crawl in next to him, you realize it’s a hawthorn bush. You roll your eyes; it’ll have to do.

You feel the thorns digging into your exposed skin as you try to get on your knees and pull Sugawara’s upper body to your lap gently, trying not to make the damage worse. Judging by his groans and whines, you’re not doing a very good job at it. You feel after the wound and hiss when you realize it’s still bleeding. You’re afraid to pull out the dagger, fearing it’ll make it worse. You’re also afraid it might be poisoned – would these attackers rely on simple luck that it’d pierce either your head or your heart? A dagger to the arm or leg isn’t necessarily fatal.

You apologize to Sugawara in bated breaths as you try to get a grip of your shirt’s side, ripping off as much fabric as you’re able, all the way to your back, where it’s hard to reach. You then lift his arm to wrap it around.

“Remove”-Sugawara coughs and curls in on himself – “the dagger.” He finished and you whine at his command, “what if you’ll bleed more?” and he wheezes out a laugh, “I’m bleeding either way, aren’t I?”

You want to punch him, but decide to do as he says, “here, bite down on this. I don’t want them to hear us,” you rip off the fabric of your sleeve and he bites down onto it, “I’m not sure if I’m supposed to do it quickly or slowly,” you admit and he groans. You apologize again, “I’ll do it quickly, in one”- you put your hands around the handle – “two… and three!”

Sugawara passes out after that.

                                                          ///    

Sugawara’s eyes are heavy as he tries to open them, coated with blood and tears. He hears Sawamura calling out, “Suga! Are you here? Your majesty!” and as he manages to open his right eye, is immediately blinded by the bright light coming in through the branches he’s surrounded by. He feels a weight on top of him and feels arms wrapped tightly around him, almost caging him in. He hears your soft breathing and sees you asleep on top of him.

Your face, beautiful and kind is layered in caked blood and dirt, your lip swollen. His name is called again and as he opens his mouth to reply, he realizes how dry and big his tongue feels. He tries to lick his lips, gather saliva but coughs instead, “in… here,” he manages to croak out but it’s barely even a whisper, his voice strained and hoarser than he’s tried before. He takes in a deep breath, “Daichi!”

Footsteps near them in a fast pace, “bushes,” he manages to wheeze out and that’s when you steer over him, “Sugawara!” you plead as he coughs from the strain, and then Sawamura is standing next to the bushes, “we’ll help you out, don’t worry your majesty, Suga.”

Sugawara’s eyes fall shut again.

He wakes up more comfortable this time, wrapped in blankets and with a pillow underneath his head. He’s back by the camp, and everyone is gathered, in various stages of bruised and hurt – but alive.  

He sighs as he falls back onto the pillow, which makes Daichi look down at him, a gentle expression on his face, “you’re awake.”

Next to him, you’re stirring something together in a cup, blending them as you wait for the kettle to finish boiling – you’re preparing medicine, he realizes. You’re doing it meticulously and with your tongue sticking out in concentration.

Sawamura fills him in on what happened, “it’s the same men as the attack on the former crown,” he clears his throat and takes in a deep breath, “fewer this time. We managed to fight them off, but a few of them escaped – probably to report back to whoever’s behind this.”

You fill in the cup with the water, trying to pour it in the swirling motion that your father taught you, so that the medicine blends better. You haven’t spoken a word to Sugawara yet. He pouts, “that decides this. The crown’s going back.”

He’s never seen you turn your head so fast, “I am most definitely not!”

Sugawara tries to sit up but feel the strain it gives his body, wheezing out a cough. You instinctively reach out to help him, but recoil at the last minute as you see the hardened look he gives you, “there’s no discussion to be had about this. You’re going back to Karasu Keep where you’ll be safe – and alive!”

You scoff at him and get up, “who’s the hurt one here? I can walk and run just fine!” you yell, and everyone at the camp is holding their breath, shifting their gazes between the two of you. Sugawara groans out loud to make a point and sits up higher, “who says you’ll survive the nex-“

“I do! I’ll survive jus-!”

“There’s no heir!”

Everyone freezes. You look at Sugawara with a mixed gaze, surprise and … is it hurt he sees there? He looks pointedly at the ground as he sighs, “Karasuno is teetering on the edge as it is. Losing one crown to an assassination was a hard blow – but losing the next one too? You’re unmarried, you’re childless. Whose head will the crown fall upon? Someone with the kingdom’s interests at heart?”

You slump and almost stagger but stand your ground as much as you’re able. You look him directly into his eyes, and he swallows thickly at the emotions swirling so obviously there, “I’ll survive.” You grit it out, like it’s hard to speak, and he fears it might be for you. He knows his words have hurt you – but he’d rather have you hurt and alive. He’ll gladly become a villain in your mind to keep you in this world. He grits his teeth,

“Take Hinata and go back.”

You laugh and throw your arms in the air, “we’re almost there. Who says I won’t be attacked on the way home, then? Will I be safer with more guards or simply one? And we only have pack-mules and very little supplies. I’ll hardly survive the trip home without making it known that I left!”

Sawamura gets up then and gives Sugawara an apologetic look, “they’re right. It’s safer to keep them with us.”

“Daichi!”

Sawamura sends him a pleading look, begging for him to cooperate, “keeping the crown safe is my priority and responsibility. I cannot guarantee such protection if they’re to stray from my side.”

Sugawara puffs up his cheeks, “you wanted to send them home a few days ago!” he yells, his anger redirected to his best friend. Sawamura lets out an exasperated sigh, “the situation’s changed.”

Sugawara looks around. Azumane, Hinata and Kageyama are all avoiding his gaze. “You can’t be serious!” he yells before he falls back on the makeshift bed and turns to lie on his left side, his back turned to everyone. He has to squeeze his eyes shut to prevent tears from falling.

Kageyama’s standing by the mules, feeding them stray grass he’s found from the side of the road. You come up to him and stand in silence. You’re not sure how to talk to him, though you wish you could. His entire arm is brushed and bandaged and he’s limping just a little bit more than you are.

You sigh as you pet the side of the mule’s head. It leans happily towards you, enjoying the attention. “Should I go back?”

Kageyama whips his head so fast towards you that it surprises you. His face is as hard to read as ever before he pouts, “I’ve never wanted to follow a weak leader,” he gets out and you raise your eyebrows, awaiting his continuation. “I don’t think Suga meant it the way you took it.”

You nod as he bites the inside of his cheek, “I’ll always follow you, your majesty, and I believe you capable of making the right choices.”

There’s silence between you again, only the sounds of the mules’ hooves and breaths – it’s comfortable. Behind you, you can hear the movements and low talks of your other travel buddies. Azumane has clung to you since you came back and this is the first time you’re walking away from the make-shift seatings and he didn’t follow you.

“I think Suga simply wants you to survive, is all, your majesty.”

It’s your turn to bite the inside of the cheek at the statement.

Evening has arrived at your little camp and while everyone’s settled in a sort of comfortable gratitude about being alive and well, the tension between you and Sugawara is still pulled taut. Hinata is currently singing a few songs by the fire while Kageyama fills up the waterskins for tomorrow’s continued travels.

“Sugawara, a moment if you will.”

Sugawara puts the ladle back down into the pot of porridge with gracious speed compared to the damage of his injury before he straightens his back and replies to you, just as coldly as you had to him, “of course, your majesty. How may I assist you?”

Azumane and Sawamura can scarcely keep the smiles off of their faces at the display in front of them, entirely too childish and immature – not befitting of the crown and their advisor at all. Not to mention the way they’re all unceremoniously huddled under blankets around the fire, their ruler in the same, commoner survival gear as them. You look nothing like royalty after last night’s attack, so your speech mannerisms seem almost out of character. Sawamura’s just glad they brought a few extra uniforms with them since everything in your tent turned to ashes.

You pull out a map and beckon him closer. Sawamura doesn’t miss the way Sugawara rolls his eyes ever so slightly yet gets up from his crouched position to be by your side at your request. Your quarrel today is still heavy in the air and Azumane fears for the night shift the two of you are supposed to have at nightfall. He knows how you both can be stubborn and volatile and he’s not sure he’ll be able to sleep soundly.

Your talk remains civil as you go through the final stretch of your journey on the map, talking strategies. Sawamura altered the route earlier today to shake off possible attackers in case there’d been a mole in his scouting groups. He’d also sent one back to the keep requesting back up – he’s not sure they’ll get there in time, even if their travels won’t be on foot.

The night shift is entirely quiet. Sugawara’s stiff through the first few hours, waiting for you to yell at him, chide him, anything. But you stay silent, only occasionally getting up to fetch fresh water from the kettle by the fire. He thinks he’d rather want a scolding at this point.

You then gasp out loud and his fight or flight reacts immediately, his body tensing, ready to jump up at any given demand. He may be hurt, but he’s sure he’d still be able to defend you – at least until Sawamura woke up. He then looks to you, and your eyes are fixated on the sky above you. There’s a shimmer reflected in your eyes that makes his pose relax, the half-smile you’re adorning that makes him unclench his fists.

“There was a shooting star,” you explain and keep your gaze fixed up. Sugawara looks up at the immense horizon, the stars illuminating the pitch-black darkness. “Right there,” you point up even if the action is meaningless since your perspective is different from his, “right by Orion.”

That doesn’t help him, so he just stares up at the sky, “I think Cygnus is visible on the sky tonight as well.” You bite your underlip in concentration as your eyes flicker around and Sugawara finds himself looking more intently at you than at the heavens. A triumphant smile appears on your face, “yep, it’s right there north of the guiding star!” you say and Sugawara hangs his head low as he admits his biggest academic flaw to date, “I can’t navigate the stars.”

There’s silence from you and he finally gathers the courage to look up at you. The moment your eyes meet his apologetic ones, you can’t stop yourself from bursting out into a laugh. He seems genuinely sorry that he’s unable to locate a constellation and the blanket of tension between you dissipates immediately at his confession. You wipe a stray tear from your lash line as Sugawara pouts next to you, “it’s okay,” you manage to say between laughs as you start to quiet down again, “I can show you.”

You shuffle closer to Sugawara – closer than he thinks you’ve been before and he swallows thickly – and put your head by his shoulder. Sugawara holds his breath. You raise your arm to point, “do you see the bright star there? It’s Deneb, there’s three stars aligning with it horizontally,” you say and Sugawara thinks he knows where you’re talking about. You sigh before you continue, “the star directly next to Deneb, there’s stars that go vertically,” you point your finger a little higher slowly as you count, “one a little distance away and then,” you lick your lips subconsciously, “two, three and four.”

Sugawara’s getting cross-eyed by the closeness but wills his mind to focus entirely on your hand and the stars above. He sees the pattern you’re mentioning, “Cygnus means swan, right?” he asks and you nod. In nodding, your head touches his shoulder – you decide to lean into that with a sigh, “yeah, it’s the swan constellation. It means summer’s coming.”

Sugawara dares not move, lest you pull back from him. Only once has he felt your weight like this on him, and he never imagined himself lucky enough to experience it twice. He can feel your body temperature mingle with his own and when he exhales slowly, he can actually see his breath. He notices your slight shiver. It’s unseasonably cold for this time of year, “it’s the clear skies. There’s nothing to tie down the heat.” you say while stifling a yawn.

Did Sugawara speak out loud? He simply nods, unable to form the proper words he wants to articulate. All these years reading books and learning about the human mind and he can’t even hold a conversation with you. He wants to lean onto you as well, but he doesn’t.

You climb out of the tent bright and early, stretching your limbs. You enjoy sleeping in but admittedly sleeping next to three grown and snoring men made it easier to get up with the sun. Azumane greets you from the fireplace and hands you a cup of tea as you settle down.

Today, Hinata is leaving ahead of you to see if he can either gain information or trust. He’s from the duchy – even if he grew up on the borders of it, on the other side of the mountain, it might help that a local arrives. He’s preparing a packing mule for traveling together with Sawamura, trying to make it appear that he’s been traveling alone. You’re lucky he didn’t get visibly hurt during the assault.

When he’s packed and ready to leave, you approach him, “thank you, Hinata, for doing this,” you say with a gentle smile that makes Hinata tense up in excitement from your acknowledgement. He then salutes you, “of course, your majesty! I shall do my utmost to help.”

He sounds knightly and ready, if it weren’t for the rumbling of his stomach a few short moments after his declaration. He curls in on himself with an apology dripping from his mouth. You notice the signs in him as the signs you had back when you became Crown-in-Waiting. You bend down to lock eyes with him, “you’re going to do great, no matter the outcome.” You hope you give a sufficient enough smile as you rest a hand on his shoulder, “we’ll arrive after nightfall as well, so it won’t be long before we’re united again, okay?”

He inhales slowly, holds it, and while straightening his back, exhales slowly again. He seems more determined as he gives you a big smile, “thank you, your majesty.” he says as he gets ready to leave you.

After Hinata’s left, you’re all by the campfire, eating a small provisional breakfast. Kageyama’s trying to sleep a few hours before you leave after having the final part of the night shift. Sawamura scratches at his ever-growing beard and you smile, “it’s really grown out these days, huh.” You say and he laughs. One of those deep ones that rumbles from his stomach, “I admit I have forgotten to pack a proper looking glass and blade.”

You smile and take a bite out from the small bowl on your lap, “it suits you. Beards are very handsome.”

Next to you, Sugawara chokes on a piece of bread. With a worried look you turn to him, leaning in to see if he’s alright. You pat his back and he raises an arm, “I’m okay, your majesty,” he manages to wheeze out and you smile, “you have to be careful.”

Sugawara nods as he wipes off his mouth with his sleeve. He freezes when he feels the pad of your fingers against his cheek, “you haven’t grown out much hair,” you absentmindedly state, eyes locked on his lips, the valley of his cupids bow as you feel the softness of his skin. You’re pulled out of your daze by the roaring laughter around you. You look to Sawamura and Azumane who’s both wheezing out, Sawamura hitting his thigh too in order to control his laughter. Sugawara pouts and scolds them, “shut up you two!” he tries, but they hardly listen.

You laugh at the antics in front of you, “did I say something amiss?” you ask and Azumane heaves in a breath, “Suga’s never been able to grow a beard, it’s his insecurity, your majesty.”

“Hey!” Sugawara yells and your eyes trace back to him, he’s pointing at Azumane with his butter knife, “stop telling people about that!” he side-eyes you for a second and then, in a frustrated whisper adds, “especially them!” as if you wouldn’t be able to hear him.

Sawamura laughs, “when we were little, Suga drew a picture of us grown up, and he had this big beard on the drawing – so you can imagine his disappointment,” he jokes and you laugh. Sugawara mumbles out unintelligible yet clearly annoyed words.

“Yeah, in front of the castle, right?” Sawamura asks and Azumane confirms, “yeah, he drew it shortly before I left as my parting gift. I still have it in my chambers.”

You look around at the three men in front of you with slight confusion, “you grew up together?”

They all return your confused look, staring at you as if you’d just grown three heads and not simply asked an innocent question. Azumane smiles, “did I fail to mention so, your majesty? We’re all from the same hometown.”

You nod as you piece together the childhood stories you’ve gotten before from both Azumane and Sugawara. Like a painting receiving it’s finer lines, you start to visualize who was with them in the stories they’ve told. You raise a hand to your mouth as you bark out a laugh, “I didn’t realize! But I can see how it makes sense…”

You sigh, “…must be nice, to stay so close after so many years.”

They all nod, solemnly, and the rest of the breakfast is finished in silence. It’s comfortable, but there’s a fog around you that Sugawara can’t seem to see through. He’s not sure how to give you any reassuring words.

                                                          ///    

When you arrive at the outskirts of town, there’s quiet. You can see the light from the houses littering the scenery and nothing seems amiss. There’re still a few miles to the center of the town, so you stretch your arms over your head as you straighten your back. Sawamura is by your side instantly, “do you need a break, your majesty?” he asks and you smile at him as you shake your head, “I’m fine, Sawamura. Thank you, though.”

Sugawara and Kageyama are walking behind with the remaining mule and Azumane’s walking a few steps ahead. Sawamura paces his walking to yours, and a comfortable silence settles over you as you take in your surroundings.

You heave in a breath to gather courage and clench your fists at your sides, then you turn to Sawamura, “ho- “your voice is higher pitched than you’d like, so you steel yourself again, “how was Sugawara as a child?”

Sawamura looks at you, startled to begin with but loosens up with a sort of fatherly smile. He looks up at the sky as you continue walking side by side, “Suga? He’s not much different now, I’d say. He’s mischievous when he wants to be, but other than that he’s got a stout heart – he doesn’t sway easily.”

You nod, playing with your fingers to alleviate your own nervousness. Sawamura sighs, “he’s always there for the people he cares about. He picked a fight with some older guys when we were kids, because they picked on his brother.” Sawamura chuckles at the memory.

“He’s a romantic, too.” Sawamura adds and it sounds much like an afterthought to you, but if Sugawara had heard him say those words to you, he’d scolded him. You feel your pulse quicken from something other than the brisk pace you’re walking as you hurry to avert your eyes to the ground. You’re about to say something when you’re abruptly interrupted, “psst!”

You all turn your heads to the hedge you’re walking next to, Sawamura already holding onto the handle of his sword, ready to fight if necessary. It’s an elderly lady in a cloak looking directly at you. She’s so small that her head is barely above the hedge’s edge. “Who walks there?” Sawamura demands, all loud and imposing but she hurries to hush him, “quiet! Come in quickly, before everyone knows you’ve arrived.”

She motions for you all to come in through the gates to the modest house. Inside, there’s lights in one of the rooms and you can see someone else walking around.

“Daichi.” Sugawara says from behind you, his voice level and even. You can hear the coldness to it, his message clear that he does not trust this lady. You smile gently at her as she tries to make you hurry, “if they spot you there’ll be trouble, so please, your majesty.”

That makes all of you tense up and Sawamura hurries to drag out his sword, pointing it towards her. He asks you to stand back but you walk closer to the gate, and lower Sawamura’s sword with your hand as you pass him, “I believe we can trust her.”

You’re not sure why. You have no recollection of meeting this woman, but you feel safe when you lock eyes with her. She bows slightly and opens the gates for you, “the mule can grass behind the house, just hurry.”

When you’re inside, you’re seated by a table. Sawamura and Sugawara’s standing by the entrance with their arms crossed, not happy with your decision to come inside and they’re not afraid to make it known. Azumane’s sitting with you, profusely apologizing for your company’s manners. You’re all waiting in awkward silence for Kageyama to walk in through the door after securing the mule to a post.

There’s another woman humming as she’s preparing a kettle of water. You can’t determine her age, but she isn’t much younger than the other one. You faintly recognize the melody she’s humming, but you cannot place it. When you finally ask her where the melody is from, she chuckles as she answers you, “it’s my own. I sang it for my son when he was just a babe.” She hands you a steaming hot cup of tea and you bow to her as you hurry to thank her – both for the cup of tea but certainly also for the hospitality – even if the circumstances seem dubious to your traveling company.

The door from the gardens open and Kageyama treads in with the elderly lady in hand, helping her up the heightened steps. “Oh, your majesty, I’m so delighted you’ve been tended to,” the elderly lady exclaims happily, excusing herself as she walks past Sawamura and Sugawara, who both declined any refreshments.

“I believe an introduction’s in order.” She says nonchalantly, seating herself next to you, “I’m Takeda Airi,” she bows to you unceremoniously before she grabs one of the pastries from the center of the table. Both you and Sugawara perk up and take a look at each other, recognizing the name immediately.

She lets out a shrill laugh, “you two can’t be fooled, I take it.” She notices, and you smile sheepishly, “am I wrong to assume Takeda Ittetsu is a family member of yours?” you ask, putting down your cup on the table. Airi hands you a pastry without asking if you wanted any, and the other woman scolds her, “mother! Don’t force feed the crown!”

She waves her off, “Ittetsu told me that the crown loves sweet things. Which is why I had you baking!”

You can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. You’d never known your tutoring scribe’s family history or ever imagined yourself in his family’s home. Airi seems special and almost familiar to you, now that you can take a better look at her. Her nose is rounded and flat, while her eyes are still big and all-seeing. When she catches you staring, you straighten your back. She smiles knowingly, “you’ve realized we’ve met before.” She states, and Sugawara walks over to stand by your side. You’re not sure of his intentions.

You’re about to ask her to make sense of this feeling in you when she claps her hands together, “we don’t have time for the past! Your majesty, you must leave.”

“Leave?” you exclaim, not able to hold back a grimace. She nods, “this duchy does not see you in a very good light. Your very life is in danger just by being here.”

Your throat feels dry but your mouth waters in anxiety. You try to gulp but feel unable to. Sugawara puts a hand on your shoulder, “with all due respect, we came to figure out why.”

Airi nods before giving Sugawara a grim look, “you have been doing a poor job, advisor. Letting your crown come so far into a lion’s den.” Everyone tenses, Sawamura and Kageyama take another battle stance at her comment. She then lets out another shrill laugh, “oh I don’t mean me, obviously! The town! The duchy!” she raises her arms to further her point, “the duke is not to be trusted.”

The other woman sighs, “mother, you’re confusing them,” she then turns to you all with a warm smile, “I’m Hina. Ittetsu’s mother.”

You take a bite of the pastry shoved in your hands earlier. She then sighs and look out the window, clenching her fists by her chest, “Duke Takashi killed your father.”

The air gets hard to breathe. It’s like there isn’t any air in the air you were breathing, your throat feeling tight; mouth numb. The ringing in your ears become distinctly louder and your blood feels heavy, rushing through you. In a far corner of your sense of self, you feel the hand on your shoulder tighten. You think the pastry in your hand might’ve fallen to the ground. The sweet aftertaste of cinnamon lingers on your tastebuds, suffocating you.

You register the raised voices around you, but none of the words gets processed. Your eyes are open but they’re looking inwards. There’s a burning wire of fire in your heart, ablaze and uncontrollable. You think you hear your father’s voice somewhere, repeating your name. As the voice gets clearer and clearer, the sound of your name gets more and more distorted.

You heave in a desperate breath as you’re pulled back to reality. Airi’s hand is touching yours, her ring cold on your skin. You recognize it immediately, the Black wings of the Crow crafted into a ring instead of a pin. You look at her with questioning eyes and she smiles gently, “one thing at a time, my dearest. Now, take a deep breath for me.”

She takes deep breaths to instruct you and you seem to follow them with ease. Sugawara tries to relax next to you, but he can’t deny the bizarreness of this entire situation. He holds his breath until yours is back under control.

Hina asks Sawamura and Kageyama to sit down as well as she starts explaining. Duke Takashi came into his dukedom shortly before the drought, known locally as the power-hungry, youngest son of the Takashi family. His older brother tragically died in a housefire shortly before ascending his duty and therefor Takashi stood to inherit it all.

There was a big change of staff when he entered his role, new rules bestowed upon the duchy.

“After the drought, he held an assembly to tell us of the kingdom’s decision of abandonment.”

Sugawara raises an eyebrow. No such decision was ever made – or even discussed. Hina smiles patiently, “you all looked confused. See, Duke Takashi is good at many things. Manipulating and isolating his duchy is undoubtedly his strongest suit.”

Airi scoffs and interrupts, “that snake.”

Hina nods, agreeing with her mother, “the treaty with Fukurodani Empire was still new at the time and he used it to his advantage. Made us believe that the crown was trying to give us up, abandon us.”

You suck in your teeth, fear gripping at your heart as you try to steady the beating. Hina continues, “your father did a lot of good things for the duchy during the crisis. He even came here, in this very kitchen, with food to help sustain us – and a lot of other homes.”

Airi sighs, “but time does as time does best. If it is not taken care of, it forgets. It leaves behind knowledge.”

“But what does that have to do with Duke Takashi?” Sugawara asks, though he thinks he might’ve pieced it together by now. He doesn’t like where it’s going.

Airi’s about to open her mouth and speak more when Hina hisses, “they’re here.”

You whip your head to the window and through the darkness of the outside, you make out a few torches and movement. More detailed it won’t become, so long as there’s light in the house.

“Hide, upstairs!” Airi says as she pulls you up from your chair with surprising strength. Sugawara grabs your hand and leads you first towards the stairs he noticed at the back of the hallway when they arrived. He hears the others are right behind the two of you.

You take a look back and see Airi smile gently at you, tapping her ring finger with her other hand. You know it means her allegiance lies with you, though fear still has a wholesome grip around your throat. You’re not sure what’s going to happen, but you know nothing must happen to her.

You’re huddled in the back with Azumane and Sugawara hovering over you, arms around you protectively, as Sawamura and Kageyama stand ready with weapons in case anyone will show up.

You hear the muffled noise of knocking on the door and Airi tiredly yelling she’s on her way when the knocking becomes more aggressive. You strain your eyes to listen to the words spoken but can only make out the hostility of the voice speaking, not the words. The voices raise and you hear something being thrown, which makes your body react before you can really think your actions through.

You jump up from your bent position, passing Sawamura and Kageyama before they can even react to your actions, jumping – and almost falling – down the stairs, a determined glare in your eyes. You see Airi on the floor next to the stool she’d been pushed towards and Hina crouched by her, holding up her head. Airi looks at you and yells out a “no!” but you only have eyes for the man who still has his arm raised from the push.

Duke Takashi.

When he sees you, a sinister grin appears on his face. He pulls back his arm and readjusts his sleeve, as if the wrinkles he’d gotten from his violence was more revolting than the action itself.

“Oh, your majesty, what brings you here? What a pleasant surprise.”

You scoff, “surprise?”

You hear the others hurry down the stairs to you but before they can round the corner, Takashi’s already jumped into action, pulling your back close to him with a knife to your throat. Involuntarily, you let out a whine from the impact as you try to scratch at his arms, kick his legs, anything.

But he doesn’t budge. He merely kicks at Airi as if your struggle was a daytime breeze.

“Get Airi and Hina away from here!” you choke out between labored breaths, and Sawamura orders Kageyama help them get up and behind them.

“Let them go, Duke Takashi and you shan’t be punished.”

Takashi laughs again as he starts walking backwards and out of the house with you in tow, “oh I don’t believe that at all, you simple knights have no honor left.”

Outside, a mob has gathered. It’s the people of the town, and they’re all making way for Takashi to hold you in the center, demanding their attention.

“Everyone! We have them in our grasp!” he starts, toying with the knife close to your throat, laughing triumphantly.

“Our plans had setbacks, sure, but now we can reclaim the full prize. There is simply no heir to take the throne and what will happen when they tragically pass due to a group of bandits? I, Duke Takashi, will of course lend my aid to the kingdom.”

Sugawara clenches his fists, “there’ll be no place for you on the throne!” he yells, and one of Takashi’s guardsmen takes a hold of him. “Let me go!” he yells, but it’s futile. His shoulder’s acting up and the fatigue from the other bruises that he’d hidden well from you, is catching up to him. He’s powerless. He sends Sawamura a pleading look, but his look is steeled entirely on you, sword raised as he tries to figure out what to do. How to get you back safe.

“Won’t there? You’re the advisor, Sugawara, so tell me. What happens if there’s no one to ascend the throne? Hm? That’s right, the dukes are put to a vote to become stewards of the kingdom.”

“As if they’d vote for you!” Sugawara spits back and the guard tightens his grip on Sugawara’s arms, making him kneel. You whine at seeing him being hurt.

“Oh, so you think I’ve been snoozing the past five or so years? You haven’t noticed the good relations I’ve been making with the other duchies? The aid I’ve provided them?”

Sugawara’s eyes widen. The lowered tax – Sugawara had assumed that Takashi had kept the money to himself instead of giving it to his duchy, that he’d hoarded wealth for his own gain – but the plot had been much bigger than Sugawara had caught on to. This was more than just stealing money from his own duchy.

It’s a coup d’état.

A carefully planned one at that.

You scratch at his arms and he groans, “stop moving, your majesty, I’ll finish this soon enough.” He says your title mockingly. You hear the sound of crows cawing somewhere in the distance.

“You stole your people’s money!” you manage to yell out as you kick his knee. Takashi yells out as he hits your head with the blunt end of the blade, making you disoriented.

The guard holding Sugawara tightly suddenly loosens his grip – not enough to be visible to anyone else, but certainly felt by Sugawara. Sugawara notices some of the guards looking around at each other, their angry and victorious faces going pale, confused, questioning.

Sugawara takes his chances, “you stole the much-needed money from a hurt duchy and redistributed it to other well-functioning duchies, didn’t you? The crown lowered the taxes to help the people here, but you didn’t lower their payments!”

More confusion, more questions.

Sawamura smiles confidently but with reprehension still as he quietly says, “these people are helping you on false pretenses, aren’t they? Do they know the truth?”

Takashi starts backing away more, tightening his grip on your throat. You try to resist, but he’s strong – and the knife is lodged so close, that you can feel the sting of the blade. Your head pounds, making your vision blurry. You feel blood tickle down your brow. You have to trust your men.

You detect panic in his voice as he frantically starts explaining to his men how they’d get in on his success, too. How he’d share the riches of the kingdom with them. One yells back, “there was riches! But you took them!”

“My daughter passed away because you said we couldn’t afford to pay the local doctor to stay in town!” another yells, anguished.

Words like worthy sacrifice, small evils needed and desperate attempts to convince them of his righteousness is thrown around, but he’s frantically grasping at straws now that he’s been exposed.

He pushes the blade enough to break skin. Sugawara calls your name again and you almost smile. You must be delirious from the pain because somehow you feel happy that he called your name again. You never thought you’d hear it again, much less this soon. He calls it with a hoarser voice and as the guard lets go of him, you can see he intends to run to you. Sawamura stops him with an arm and the yelling is now directed at him instead.

Sugawara can’t see what you can from your perspective on the other side of the hedge, and you know Sawamura’s taking a gamble based on his hearing only.

Takashi laughs manically, hysterically, shrill in your ear as he presses the knife, getting ready to slice. You try to mouth ‘it’s okay’ to Sugawara but it seems to make his anger rise even more.

Takashi raises the knife again and lifts it high to get ready to end your life. A mocking salute is heard from him.

And that’s when you hear the sound of an arrow pass cleanly by your head.

The sound and feel of blood gushing out will probably be forever ingrained in your memory. You look to the side to see one of Sawamura’s guards with a bow. Behind him is one with a shield and a sword, together with Hinata. You smile at them before your legs give in underneath you.

You expect to hit the ground, given that Takashi’s body is pulling you down with him.

Sugawara scrapes his knees as he tries to run to you so fast that he stumbles. The last few steps are crawled but he reaches you before your upper body falls further down, grabbing a hold of your shoulders.

Panicked, one-syllable words are thrown at you, his behavior mirroring yours when he was stabbed. You almost laugh. His hands search your face and wipes your tears and drags stray hairs away from your face. You’re about to open your mouth and make a mother hen joke when his lips are colliding onto yours.

You’re rigid at first before you relax your mouth and mold your lips to fit his. Right as you’re starting to enjoy the feeling, he pulls away, apologies thick on his tongue, panic laced in his voice. He hasn’t gotten very far away from you before you lean forward to kiss him back.

You’re rougher, and your teeth clash, the kiss much more undignified than when he initiated it, but it’s no less perfect to you. When he pulls away, slower this time, you let him, searching his eyes. He still looks terrified and his breathing is still panicked, “I thought I’d lost you.” he admits. You smile and kiss him again, this time short and sweet, “oh, you won’t get rid of me that easily.”

Behind you, you hear the bellowing laugh of the guard who shot the arrow. You think his name might be Nishinoya. Sawamura walks up to them – he puts a hand on your shoulder on the way and smiles at you.

“Nishinoya.” Sawamura then says gratefully, and you make a mental note of giving that man a title as well. Nishinoya yells, “I told you guys I’d always have your back as the Guardian Deity!” you hear Hinata’s excitement too as you laugh and rest your head on Sugawara’s shoulder. Then, a stray tear slips past your defenses, “is it over?” you croak out, almost too afraid to ask. Sugawara laughs airily, like he can’t believe it either, but he rests his head on yours, “yes, your majesty.”

You’re glad to have found the truth, relieved that you can now let your father go knowing what has happened. The steps in front of you are also now clear, like he’s paved them for you before he left.

You smile into Sugawara’s shoulder and close your eyes. It’ll be okay.

My cat’s final contribution. He thanks you for reading his words and for your kind feedback in earlier chapters. He knows his words are superior to mine and CLEARLY is what’s made you all come back to this work:

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hggggggggggggggggggggggggggghjnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara x reader #hq x you #haikyuu x you #nohr.writing #whew i really hope yall like it [pleading emoji] [profusely sweating] #i feel so bad abt the delay which in turn makes me feel like it has to be BETTER bcos u waited so long which is. a viscious cycle #I ALSO HAVE SO MCUH LORE FOR AIRI!!!!! U WONT FUCKING BELIEVE LMFAO

[upsidedowngrass]

do you think liam and stone would be friends if they ever met outside of The Plane again

HMM!!!

(put under a readmore cus i ended up talking a LOT lol :) )

i think they could be friends!!! i think stone liked the contestants. while im pretty sure stone picked liam to give the notes to 1) because he is a backpack. he can hold notes. and 2) he seems the MOST stubborn of all of the contestants, so think compared to the chance for things to end well (or at least, the best they COULD end), liam was the best bet to pick thru all possible courses of action

but even outside of that stone generally seems to like them all, helping bryce when he didnt need to, visibly looking guilty for having to sabotage amelia, etc. i think they showed liam one of the notes bc they WANTED him to understand that theyre trying to help, and i think there was a chance hed understand, but he just happened to Not. with everything we know abt stone (which unfortunately isnt much), he looks like he WANTS to help them because he cares, and i think they wouldve liked to be friends with them, and to have met all of them under better circumstances. (he obv knows about the concept of friends because he knows everything, but i think they dont really get many opportunities to meet New people given. being from a world of Just rocks) point is that i think stone would love to be friends w liam!!

whether or not LIAM would wanna b friends is a diff question tho. liam doesnt seem like the type of guy whod necessarily hold anything against stone, since he gradually seems to respect stone more and more as he follows the notes, but i think there Could be some discomfort there. if stone hadnt written the notes, he never wouldve gone to bryce, he never wouldve died a bunch more times, and he never wouldve gotten stuck in airys world. but then again, if they hadnt written them, if airy had still died, all of the contestants couldve been trapped on the plane literally forever, and julien wouldve been stuck in the waiting room forever

i think liam would still think about stone pretty fondly, and historically he hasnt really been concerned about 'people who could remind him of his time on the plane, but 'well this person reminds me of my time on the plane' given everything with bryce, but during all that he was still very much. not in the mentality of being at home. (after he got home, he seems to REALLY still feel stuck on the plane, esp if what he says to bryce is anything to go off of) it could be very different once hes home, and because? i think stone ended up kinda STILL being with him thru s2, just symbolically. so i think it could be complicated for liam

but all of this aside? i think any discomfort he may feel would maybe be set to the side. liams pretty passive by nature, and i think being able to be friends with stone would actually kinda end up giving him a sense of closure about some things!!! most of his interactions with stone WERE somewhat strained, but i think liam wouldnt rly even think abt that

i dunno!!! but i think theyd make good friends if they had the opportunity to meet again. liam makes conversation pretty easy when he wants to, even though its not smth he especially goes out of his way to do, but i think when he would like to he can be VERY annoying abt it. if he wanted some level of Knowing stone, because i think it could be Nice to have stone be less of this ominous figure whos motives werent super clear but did ultimately help (assuming in this hypothetical he and stone meet again on earth, but i think in airys world stone could be. actually pretty nice for him to meet again? dont know!) and instead this Person who helped him and his friends, he would be a bit stubborn about it, and maybe a bit awkward about it, but i think stone would be okay with it. stone seems very 'reluctantly WILL do things for the greater good but would like to do helpful things that DONT make people upset instead. wants to just get along with people but just ISNT in a situation where they can' and also generally patient (i think they have to be patient given the world theyre from) so i think itd work out!!!!

anyway this post is long and idrk how clear it is BUT its fun to think abt!!!! idk how liam would get the chance to meet stone again but i would LOVE if it did happen

#hfjone #ask #i actually sometimes consider the idea of all of the stones in stones world functioning as a hivemind #and stone being teleported out didnt so much as sever that but that if this was the case maybe? he still had the information they always wi #but made them smth of an offshoot of the hivemind but not separated from it. like a new mushroom #and i think that would make stone have a complex idea of having friends but thats an inherently very interconnected existence #but thats not really relevant to this post #well it kinda is but not super relevant #also sidenote that i was somewhat confused for a while on why stone is so big compared to the rocks in their world #but also batch 2 commenting on some of them being larger than they are in their own world implies that being sent to the plane #kinda like. scales ppl? #and also gives them a general form that may be a bit divorced from what they look like in their own world #like w texty being outside of their 'body' (aka laptop) #so i think. stone on earth? might be a bit tiny. w no limbs #since the stones in his world dont have any. and also i think the eyes r figurative and they dont literally have them #whenn the flashlight shows all of them?? #so stone might literally just end up looking like a random rock if they were on earth #but i gotta think abt that more #ok im getting off track #TY for the ask i love an opportunity to talk abt stone i wish we knew more abt him #for a while stone was my 2nd fav!!! now its amelia (who had been 3rd) but stone is STILL means so much to me

[kimiani]

15, 23, 35, 67 tell me about eclipse!

35.  which party member do they worry for?

I think earlier in the campaign, it was Ruki. Ruki was a party member who at first seemed the most level-headed, but after a rather rough combat and a period of deep depression, while traveling, Eclipse obviously was worried about them, though there were definitely frustrations that Ruki was so desperate in their fear of death that they almost put Eclipse and Kauko in death’s way.

I think Eclipse, though, definitely shifted their worried away from Ruki seeing that they could go home and be with the people they loved, and the greater worries primarily fall on Kauko and Wugglies.

Wugglies is concerning because of some events during the lich knight arc, and Eclipse is worried that Wugglies may go too far and it scares them just a bit. I think Eclipse clock that their party member is desperate for something, but they don’t know what. There was definitely a reminder of this after Eztli’s second attempt at escape where Wugglies was so close to permanently murdering their ex-party member. I think Eclipse is worried for Wugglies’ own… humanity? In the process of their journey for a power they thought could maybe bring them home?

Kauko is also concerning because of his fixation on revenge. Eclipse isn’t unfamiliar with some of the same pains that Kauko went through, but I think it’s similar to Wugglies in that there is a goal they strive to, but Eclipse also worries that Kauko might not have anything after his revenge is enacted. Eclipse doesn’t understand Kauko’s goals. It’s not their place to step between, but it also is a TIME when you abandon the primary goal of escaping to attack your major enemy <3

67. what makes them laugh?

I think Eclipse’s reactions to discomfort or to hypocrisy / irony come out as laughter., so this is definitely something that provokes a laughter response.

In terms of laughter in the lighter sense, I think certain brands of jokes do provoke a laugh, though it is here that I highlight that Eclipse is indeed a raging alcoholic, and though they have been soberer in the campaign than they have been in a while, when they are gone to drunkenness everything is funny.

15. do they trust their party? Why or why not?

I think I can easily say that Eclipse doesn’t trust them, at least not with their emotions or thoughts, though some of it is just a matter of Eclipse’s lack of trust in others, and other parts come from in campaign actions. I think trust is something deeply complicated for them due to a complicated family history. (that I can’t elaborate in w/out dan opening his eyes)

Eclipse also understands they were all united by a messy set of violent actions, forced to bond and work together to find a object graning them power with little explanation as for the WHYS. The more Eclipse finds, the more they trust with some parts. Eclipse wants to trust the abilities of their party, and wants to trust they will take good actions, but time and time again the actions taken show Eclipse otherwise. And in addition, Eclipse can’t help but notice this is rubbing off on them.

That and Eclipse REALLY hates how others have perceived them, as someone stupid and foolish even though they know they are not that smart. As someone who looks so much like a actual cat that others have thought they were someone’s pet. I think there’s just been enough moments where Eclipse isn’t considered a person just because of their appearance, and when your own party feeds into long standing pre-exisiting insecurities, it’s a bit hard to trust them. (Clio is the biggest offender, but Eclipse has shown frustration in other’s inability to really consider they don’t like it when others don’t acknowledge they are capable).

[Dan ur legally not allow to read below <3]

23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name?

Eclipse’s name, much like all the names in their family are deeply important and symbolic and hold a great deal of meaning, so nicknames don’t come easy. I think Eclipse fully lives up to their name, embracing it as they still want to hold onto the traditions of their home even if they’ve been gone from it for so long.

I think as for their nickname, Little Moon, it’s something they also hold very close to their chest since it is something they gained from their partner. This, and while it highlights the difference in their stature, it is a name born of endearment and security that Eclipse was not used to.

#eclipse #crowned

[wordsandrobots]

I think After War: Gundam X is my third favourite Gundam show.

This is way behind Iron-Blooded Oprhans and Turn A Gundam, but compared to the others I’ve watched, it’s definitely more to my tastes. I think it could have benefited from the extra episodes it didn’t get, especially to expand on some of the initial space-based adventures, and it has a lot of the usual issues I have with the franchise (erratically written female characters, a half-arsed approach to condemning structural oppression, and throwing out the ‘horrors of war’ maundering whenever it’s more plot expedient to mow down mooks like there’s no tomorrow). Overall, however, it packs in a much more coherent plot than predecessor Gundam Wing, some charming characters, and a few very deft thematic flourishes.

For example, there’s an episode early on where our heroes have to help save a psychic dolphin and her pod from being turned into an advanced sonar system. Now you might think that’s a very silly sentence and you’d be correct. But the point is, this is something the Federation (emphatically the bad guys here) developed during the war this series takes place after, in order to have more effective underwater combat suits. They took dolphin brains and turned them into spare parts. And a couple episodes later, we discover this is their attitude to psychic humans too, which seems to be the pay-off until we reach the end of the series and, well, let’s just say the approach goes all the way to the top.

In fact, Gundam X is very concerned with the exploitation of psychics both by those who treat them as tools to be used and those who venerate them as humanity’s next evolutionary step. And oh gods, this means I have to write about Newtypes.

[I shall put the rest of this under a cut because I genuinely think this is one series it’d be worth going in blind on and also because this will ramble a bit.]

All right, let’s get this out of the way: Newtypes as depicted throughout both the original 1979 Gundam and this show (which essentially starts as a bad AU to Gundam ‘79/the Universal Century) are humans with extraordinary abilities, who are theorised to be an evolutionary adaptation to living in space. Newtypes have greater levels of awareness, cognition and empathy. That is to say, they can variously gain a deeper understanding of the people around them or be really, really good at driving giant robots. They are in-universe hypothetical until war breaks out and suddenly a lot of people are very interested in the military applications of psychic powers. Also occasionally people get their brains blasted to mush by the weight of too many people dying near them at once and/or are able to unify humanity’s brainwaves in order to atomise asteroids dropped by manipulative blondes with eco-fascistic tendencies. It’s a whole thing.

I am being a little glib here and I also don’t want to delve into the out-of-fiction meaning of Newtypes because I feel woefully unqualified to write about that. But for myself, considering the fiction as presented, I’ve always found Newtypes to suffer from the Jedi Problem: it’s fine and dandy to have quasi-mystical power that increases human connection but if you’re only going to show its applications in war, you’re smothering a lot of interesting potential in the concept.

This is primarily a problem of genre. Gundam is a series of war stories. It is deeply invested in fighting and conflict, and not merely because it’s financed in order to sell brightly coloured war machine kits to children and adults alike. There is nothing wrong with that per se but it limits what can be shown with respect to the doings of the magic people we’re repeatedly told are the heralds of a new age of understanding. Yes, we get to see lots of Newtypes get traumatised by their powers, or artificially created by nefarious powers-that-be, or occasionally bugger off to the end of time with their boy- and girlfriend after causing an untold amount of harm to everyone around them. But we never really get to see much in the way of non-military applications of this supposed ability to connect with others on a fundamental level. Even setting aside creative disillusionment, the very type of stories being told back the idea into a corner.

This is not to say the Gundam ‘79 derived fiction hasn’t made much hay of the in-universe tension between the status quo and the possibility of radical change. It’s kind of its one trick. But to me, it feels like diminishing returns and I end up longing for a story of Newtypes just . . . being. What does that kind of power look like when it’s not plugged into the latest giant robot suit and being sent off to punch whichever red-suited dork is trying it on this week.

Gundam X is not a story of Newtypes just being. It’s a setting where Newtypes are conscripted, manufactured or mutilated to be used as weapons. It’s a setting where one faction has proclaimed everyone in space to be a Newtype, in order to justify the wide-scale slaughter of anyone left living on Earth. And it’s a story in which, as it turns out, Newtypes do not actually exist.

Oh, there are people with unusual abilities. A girl who has prophetic visions. A pair of brothers with a psychic link. Ace pilots who glimpsed the future. But the ultimate revelation is that these are one-offs and the grand theory of advancing human evolution via living in space is so much hot air, dreamt up to further various agendas. And that makes a hell of a lot of sense in hindsight.

You see, throughout Gundam X we see a wide variety of supernatural abilities, but only some of these are classed as ‘proper’ Newtypes (resentment over this fuels the primary antagonists, the Frost brothers, who decide to burn down the world over being dismissed). As a viewer, you get pulled along by this without thinking too closely about it. But there are hints from the start (including a couple of ex-soldiers selling themselves as Newtypes while clearly not being anything special) that the term might be less than it seems. Amuro Ray-alike Jamil Neate’s stated goal is to protect Newtypes from oppression but he finds a grand total of one to safeguard in the entire series. Our hero, Garrod Ran, is an unusually gifted, empathic pilot who never gets the term applied to him. The working definition the world-dominating Federation are using is simply ‘can operate our patented robot control system’. Meanwhile the leader of the Space Rebellion has, as I said, declared everyone born in space a Newtype, making the existence of supposed Newtypes born on Earth very inconvenient. The term is at once over-specific and overly-wide, depending on who’s using it.

And in the end? Turns out the ‘first’ Newtype was some poor sod who could use that robot control system and got turned into a computer on the moon for their trouble. That was the source of the working definition and everything afterwards was just various people building castles in the sky. The powers are anomalous. Inexplicable, but not any kind of evolutionary leap. They just . . . happen. Every Newtype is their own distinct thing and not really an indication of anything very much other than fluke.

Which is actually pretty clever. It means the whole conflict is driven by people building taxonomies and raising certain things on to pedestals not because of something that definitely exists but because it suits their agendas to do so. It’s also a neat solution to the Jedi Problem, turning it around and saying, yes, these people only display their powers in combat because those looking for them only said those that were useful in war were actually Newtypes.

(I know the Gundam ‘79 and its sequels do stuff like this as well, but Gundam X has the advantage of making it the entire point, rather than wanting to have it both ways because it has the ending of Char’s Counterattack to deal with.)

Bit of a shame this all gets rushed out in the last couple of episodes due to the series running short. But perhaps that’s for the best, given there’s nowhere really to go once you’ve pulled the rug out from under everyone and demonstrated the antagonists’ motivation is fundamentally a hugely inappropriate reaction to a categorisation error.

Other observations:

Garrod Ran is fairly generic as protagonists go but I do find it amusing how he basically gloms on to every angsty teenager he encounters like they’re a precious baby in need of protecting. Including the one who was definitely trying to kill him when they met.

Tiffa’s arc would have worked much better if her attempts to define herself beyond her status as a Newtype had been emphasised more. Like, it’s sort of there, but it only comes to the fore at the very end.

Toniya and Ennil absolutely deserve to end up together and leave Witz and Roybea moping around a cornfield somewhere.

I really like the design of the Dauntless mobile suit. It’s an almost unsettling take on the GM model from the Unviersal Century. In fact, I generally appreciate seeing a Wing-esque aesthetic mapped backwards on to the original style, with greater emphasis on making the non-Gundam machines look that little bit off.

For all that I enjoyed this show, I really dearly wish Jamil hadn’t gone back to the Federation at the end. They make themselves utterly irredeemable across the course of the series and there isn’t any functional need to maintain them beyond the end. It’s a sour note, honestly, especially without any indication the rampant empire building across Earth is going to be reversed. But that’s the kind of pat assimilation ending Gundam seems to trade in more often than not, so it’s not a unique flaw.

Depths Of Minds Elevating. Huh. That’s a very long walk for what is itself a totally undescriptive acronym.

I am somewhat tempted to write Jamil/Lanslow fic. Not even necessarily Like That, but just to explore an older, more relaxed Amuro/Char dynamic in which both sides have learned how to chill the hell out.

#gundam #After War Gundam X #is this a review? #it feels like a review #I'm not sure it's good enough to be analysis #let's go with #my impressions #spoilers

[shiro-hoshishima]

“You tell me how it’s your fault, and I’ll tell you how you’re wrong.” - Venti

★彡[ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ]彡★ I am back to writing, yay!! I want this to be a comfort fic with Venti with trying out my new theme, Galaxy :D, Rushed? yes, I just want content to be out, sorry, I will try my best with the next one. Ooc? Yes.

★彡[ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ]彡★ Emotional pains growing up, you are also considered “immortal” attempted suicide, , I am coping this way. 

★彡[ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ]彡★ they/them/theirs pronouns, you were a spirit powerful enough to gain and retain a human form. they regret being a human.

★彡[ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛʟʏ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ:]彡★ Unconditionally by: Katy Perry

★彡[ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ]彡★

Being a free spirit of the Anemo Archon, Barbatos.

 Celestia granted you the ability to have and retain a human form. You have befriended a Bard known as Venti. His singing soothed you so much. He did not know about what others treat you like. You were too scared to tell him. This hasn’t stopped you from climbing to the top of the church to want to jump and end it all or scare off Timmie to stand on the edge of the bridge to plunge into the river.

people have treated you like shit and all you did was help them. You were the problem, right? 

You are standing on the bridge at night, hoping you can have the courage to jump. 

“Whoa- [y/n] what are you doing there?” 

you hear the familiar voice speak up. You whip your head to where the voice calls out, you see the bard staring there, his hands dropped, a lyre in one of his hands and a bouquet of Windblume flowers in the other.

“Why are you standing on the ledge of this bridge? It is very dangerous, do you have a death wish?”

You never once heard his voice so concerned before.

“It’s all my fault, Barbatos, please forgive me for what I am about to do,”

You raise your arms, close your eyes and tilt forwards. You feel the air resistance, however, you don’t fall. you look to see why you weren’t falling. The feeling of updraft is greater than gravity. 

“What? is going on?!” 

You shrike as Venti pulls you by the leg, to spin you around and pull you into a hug.

“[y/n], you scared me. Don’t ever do that again.”

He squeezes onto you as he buries his face in his your shoulder. You felt his hands shake. 

“Why save me?”

You cry to him.

“Because I love you.”

He looks at you and leans in and kisses your lips. It felt right. it felt natural. It felt like you were loved. He really loved you. He pulls away blushing like mad.

“I’m sorry, you fell for me...”

His eyes widen, did you not reciprocate?

“w-why? what do you mean by that?”

“I wasn’t meant to be in this world in the first place. It’s all my fault so many people are in pain...”

“[y/n], look at me please. You tell me how it’s your fault and I will tell you how you’re wrong.”

He smiles again.

“I always mess up.”

you look away.

“Everyone does, it’s how we can learn from them that make the difference.”

you don’t believe him.

“I- I am a monster.”

you really didn’t want to admit it but you are a monster.

“If it’s because of how people treat you, you aren’t they are all jealous of your beauty ehe.”

His smile stays bright.

“I’m not even a human.”

“I’m not either.”

You whip your head to face him.

“What?”

“ehe, well you see, I was just an airy spirit and then my friend died and Celestia has bestowed upon me, the Anemo Gnosis.”

he shows you a light aqua chess piece.

“Oh, I see. I’m just a spirit, that is able to retain a human form. I regret it.”

“a very cute spirit~”

he teases, your cheeks flush in a red tint.

“Stay with me? I will protect you! I promise, just please stay?”

You thought about it.

“I will, I will stay with you.”

#venti #genshin venti #genshin impact #venti comfort #barbatos #genshin barbatos #★彡[ꜱʜɪʀᴏ]彡★

[rebrandedstoryline]

Rebranded - 15.2 - Getting Help

After a LONG hiatus due to my laptop having broken, we have our continuation from the previous cliffhanger! This is just a warning for any squeamish viewer. These next few segments discuss attempted suicide, murder (of a minor), and prostitution (of a minor). Read at your own risk.

“”Hello?“” Logan’s voice chimed clearly inside Sun’s head, establishing that a proper connection had been made.

The animatronic was rightly relieved to have gotten into contact with the man so easily. But now he had to go through with the uncomfortable task of requesting their help.

There were legitimate fears that he and Moon may somehow be blamed for Ayala’s poor state. Fears that they would be considered unfit as her caretakers. Fears that they would be labeled as failures. If that happened, then it meant that they would be at risk of being decommissioned.

Or at least that was the paranoia plaguing Sun’s mind. This was on top of the general fear relating to Ayala’s poor physical state.

“”Ah! Um... H-Hello there, Mister Logan, sir. This is Sun, one of Miss Ayala’s personal care bots. We’re having a bit of a--a problem right now, and, well... I-I believe that your assistance is needed. Urgently.“” Sun uttered, sending his voice through Logan’s phone as opposed to speaking out loud.

Even though Ayala was disoriented from nearly four days without sleep on top of the three without eating, she still had enough wit about her to respond to voices. He didn’t want to risk somehow setting her off while she was in this condition.

Moon still had to keep his hand over her chest to keep her from trying to get up. For as unhappy as he was, he remained gentle with her. He understood that something was wrong; that she was delirious due to lack of food and sleep. He could blame her no more than he could blame a sick child for being disobedient.

Likewise, he could not be driven to punish her for it. She was not herself right now. She was whatever hell it was that had driven her to this state.

Logan, meanwhile, could be heard shifting about. Given how early it was, it was entirely possible that Sun had just woken him up with this call.

“”What happened?“” Logan questioned. His voice sounded like a mix between a groan and a grunt. His tone was both exhausted and concerned. He had definitely just woken up. The noises emitting through the connection established that he was now rushing to get himself sorted.

“”W-well, uh, y’see... We’re not exactly sure what’s happened?“” Sun mentally replied, awkwardly fidgeting in place as he prepared to offer up the greater details of the situation. “”She’s been acting strange ever since we unpacked the Sad Box. She’s uh, well... She’s stopped sleeping... And eating. And she’s showing signs of an encroaching mental breakdown.“” He explained, tentatively listing off the various issues that had arisen over the past few days.

He paused to glance over to Ayala. She was weakly pushing on Moon’s arm, attempting to get him off of her so that she could get out of bed. The solar animatronic began to fidget more as he observed her unsettling behavior.

“”R-really sir, I’m trying to explain all of this as calmly as I can, but Moon and I are really worried. She hasn’t eaten or slept since the box was unpacked…“” Sun stated, doing his best to keep himself from getting overwhelmed as he spoke. Thankfully, his usual voice box malfunction couldn’t be triggered while using this means of communication. Which was a good thing, because right now, he was so stressed that trying to verbally speak would have been impossible. He still stuttered while using this electronic means of communication, but the other issues were nowhere to be seen.

A sort of faint clattering sound suddenly rattled in the animatronic’s head. Startled, Sun could not help but jump ever so slightly. For as uncomfortable as the sound was, the animatronic didn’t fret over it. It was clear that Logan had just dropped his phone.

“”Fucking Christ Shit!“” Logan’s very unhappy voice rattled through the phone, further startling the daytime attendant.

“”Now, now, Sir! Please! No need for that sort of language!“” Sun responded, unintentionally falling back into old habits. He couldn’t help it. Had he been at Fazbear, he would have gone into damage control to prevent rowdy adults from causing a scene.

The male was heard offering a rather irritated groan in response. A long, drawn out one.

“”You’re right. You’re right. Sorry. Look, just - shit! Okay. Keep an eye on her. Make her drink something. Milk. Soda. Anything that isn’t water. I’ll be there in a couple hours.“” Logan replied, apologizing for his little outburst before delivering some instructions.

Based upon his tone, he had encountered this sort of problem before. His tone was a bit rushed and panicked, but the way he spoke made it clear that he already knew what the problem was. Which was admittedly something of a relief. Having someone familiar with the problem would make finding the solution so much easier.

The instructions were also appreciated. Though, Sun couldn’t quite grasp why he shouldn’t give Ayala any water. At least not at first.

All things considered, keeping her hydrated should be a basic priority.

Then his own foolishness dawned on him.

Water was a completely calorie free drink. It lacked anything of substance, and therefore, could not provide any energy. Most other beverages had at least something of substance. Even something as simple as sugar could be beneficial right now.

Logan wasn’t telling them to keep her hydrated. He was telling them how to get nutrients into her system.

“”C-can do, Sir!“” Sun replied, already thinking up a plan on how to get some calories into Ayala’s system.

Logan offered no response. The line went dead as soon as the animatronic had replied. The man had ended the call.

Sun turned to Moon, more or less signaling to his twin that the conversation had come to a close.

“”What did he say?“” Moon mentally inquired, rightfully in need of instructions if he was going to be of any help.

Ayala, delirious as she was in her sleep deprived state, was still trying to worm her way out from under him. With her persistence, he had to put extra care into how he handled her.

At this rate she was just as likely to hurt herself on his claws as he was to hurt her while trying to keep her still.

“”He’ll be here in a couple of hours! In the meantime, he’s told us to keep an eye on her and to get some calories into her system!“” Sun explained, paraphrasing the last bit of Logan's Instructions based upon their given context.

The nighttime attendant offered a soft groan in response to this.

“”How?! With her being so uncooperative, she’ll sooner choke on anything we put in her mouth!“” Moon retorted, having not yet realized the rather simple solution to their situation.

Well, to one specific aspect of it.

“”Milk!“” Sun simply stated, before starting towards the door. Thankfully, Moon caught on to the context of this rather quickly. He also felt foolish for not considering that option sooner. Particularly because he already knew that milk was a good source of nutrients.

Particularly for babies. And Ayala was acting like quite the fussy little infant at the moment. At least as far as he was concerned, given her stubborn behavior. Though, comparing her to a sick toddler might be better. They tended to put up more of a fight.

As Moon was left alone for the moment to watch over Ayala, Sun made his way down into the kitchen to fetch her a drink.

Admittedly, he hesitated for a moment as he pulled the carton from the fridge. Thankfully, it was still within date. Really, his concerns were on how few calories the milk actually had.

Ayala had gone days without eating. Or sleeping. Though the latter problem would inevitably be resolved through one means or another. Sleep could not be avoided forever. That was just how the human body worked.

But right now, he really wanted to try and get some extra sustenance into her body.

The question was how to go about enriching the milk. What could be added to it to make it more substantial?

He need not dwell on the question for long before he found the answer. Having observed how Ayala and Logan would cook, he had learned a few new tricks.

Peanut butter was rather calorie dense. Ayala was also rather fond of it. So maybe if he mixed a little bit of peanut butter into some warm milk, she would be more inclined to cooperate with them and drink it. Maybe it would help settle her stomach as well.

As it were, her nausea was more than likely to be some sort of byproduct of her sudden spike in stress levels. Maybe she would start to perk up with something in her stomach.

Thankfully, Sun was rather familiar with preparing warm drinks. He used to be in charge of making the formula for the babies come mealtime.

No mess, no fuss. He even knew the best temperature to serve his little peanut butter milk concoction at. Hopefully he could get the woman to drink it. Even just a little bit of it.

#rebranded #rebranded au #rebranded storyline #moondrop #sundrop #fnaf #fnaf au #daycare attendant #fnaf:sb #moon #sun #Ayala

[tfw-no-tennis]

tfes thoughtz

not quite a liveblog as I am wont to do but ruth and I watched tf earthspark so I figured id write down scattered thoughts bc who KNOWS when the next eps are dropping and id love to remember what I think of things whenever that rolls around

so let me start off by saying this show is banger. we rlly like it so far awww

still also gotta say rip cyberverse, that show was SO good and died too soon :( 

but yeah I like this show a lot!!! I rlly dig how it looks, I wasn’t sure about the art style/3d animation at first but it looks really good. better than cyberverse if I'm honest (sorry cybv your budget probably wasn’t as good its not ur fault)

I loooove that we’re starting off at an interesting point in which the autobot-decepticon war is over and has been for a while, and megatron is on the same side as the bots, but there’s still conflict....LOVE IT 

cyberverse was also based for having the war going on but in a different way than shows usually did, and having the sides kind of aware of how fruitless the fighting was, and then eventually w the quintessons the two sides had to unite. anyways I have a whole separate post on cyberverse so I should chill 

the human characters are great. I feel like there's the right amount of focus on them and I really dig the family dynamic we’re getting. the kids are cute and fun and I love their relationships w/the bots...I love that mo calls OP “mr optimus” awww

I love the parents also. alex husband of the year he’s so great. and dorothy is so cool and I LOVE her and megatron. they’re like platonic malewife-girlboss. power bffs. 

LOVE how she doesn’t like OP but like megatron. SO funny. 

I really enjoy that the robots aren’t ‘in disguise’ either - the world seems to be aware of them and their existence and the war that went on. that’s cool! I like that a lot; ik the tagline for tf is ‘robots in disguise’ and all but if u think about it they weren’t really hidden in g1 even

Love that there’s comics about the tfs in canon too

I really like this bumblebee!! his design is so cute and I really appreciate that he isn’t ‘the kid’ in this, and has to assume a more mentor-like role. very cool and entertaining

ok and the terrans are adorable. theyre just babies and I love them. I looove how they were adopted into the malto family its so cute. I’m enjoying them and their antics and I feel like there’s a great mix of cute hijinks w/them learning how to be tfs, and also with other plot stuff 

LOOOOVE the plot implications. JUICY!!!!!!!!!! GHOST is so fucking sketchy I LOVE THAT. I love that OP is working for them, and has a sense of ‘I’m doing this for the greater good/this is a means to an end (the end being peace)’ but OP seems to know that GHOST is sketchy as fuck - with him hiding the terrans’ existence and bumblebee being alive from them...but also he tells megatron to give them a chance, which is very OP of him, so that makes sense, but I’m curious if it’ll blow up in his face ((it totally will))

megatron was RIGHT in that one ep where he was trashing GHOST. them having all those cons locked up is bad news. and ruth pointed out that we haven’t even seen who’s in charge of GHOST which is pretty concerning.

also I can’t believe that one agent guy isn’t voiced by will arnett bc he totally sounds like him 

I super loved the flashbacks of the cybertronian history that were animated in g1 style :’) it reminded me of in tfa where they used clips from g1 as part of the history lesson 

I loooove megatron in this show he’s so cool. he gives me some mtmte megatron vibes - he basically says that he agreed to join GHOST/the autobot side in order to protect the cons from worse consequences. I’m interested to hear more about the war and what went on. I’d love some war flashbacks personally

I like that he clearly doesn’t want to hurt the decepticons or hand them over to GHOST, and also the cons think of him as a traitor, but it seems rough for cons out there. what else are they gonna do?

I think it would be epic if they paralleled OP and megatron - with OP joining up with GHOST bc he think he’s doing the right thing for his species and humans, only to discover that GHOST is fr bad news - and megatron binding himself to service w/GHOST and the autobots in exchange for supposed safety (?or something? Not super clear what the cons/megatron got out of that bargain) for the cons, only to discover (as he basically already did) that the cons aren’t doing great out there and they think of him as a traitor

also mandroid is actually pretty interesting for a human villain. I was expecting not to like him (espec at the beginning, he reminded me of silas from tfp who ended up being a nuisance and didn’t really have a point in the plot imo) bc tf human villains are more often miss than hit but he’s interesting 

I like that he has pretty legit reasons to want to get rid of the “invasive species” (as a biologist I love that phrasing), after he got drafted into the war and then injured in friendly fire

LOVED the part where he talks about this and dot is like ‘yeah I also got injured in the war and that sucks for us but I’m judging you based on your actions and YOU suck’ that was so epic she’s so epic and cool

and he knows alex??? ?? fruity ????? are they exes??? whats the vibe. I bet alex used to work for GHOST and that’s how he and dot met

having a whole ass giant robot arm is wild tho. no way that’s how it works bro 

also what happened to swindle. he was so funny. he sounds like meowth from the 4kidz dub lmfao 

SOUNDWAVE BRO I fucking love him. icon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO happy that his cassettes are here and actually turn into cassettes and not other more modern stuff. I love that anachronism sm 

thank god frenzy is here. I hope rumble shows up too (tho bumblebee talking about how one of the cassettes exploded ???? hi????)

we saw starscream for like 0.2 seconds but I’m ready for him to cause havoc like the annoying bitch he is <333 

super interesting that the world is cut off from cybertron and has been for quite a while. I think OP also mentioned that the cybertronians on earth are likely the last of their kind - I’m curious if that’s true or if there’s a bunch of them on cybertron a la the 1984 movie. I bet there is, no way cybertron is empty. pleaseeee I want hot rod and ultra magnus and all them I’d cry 

also congrats to skywarp and nova storm and frenzy on the transgenderism <3 

oh yeah and I LOVE arcee. she’s like Question Authority Barbie. Bite Chomp Kill Barbie. SO good. I love her design and alt mode and how she taught the kids not to blindly follow the people in charge. ICON. 

the 3 new bots are cute, but ruth and I couldn’t get over the fact that they were born and then IMMEDIATELY thrown into a conflict before even getting alt modes. omg 

ruth: ‘they already have blue hair and pronouns tho!’

LMFAO TRUTH. I LOVEEEE that nightshade goes by they/them :’) we didn’t expect that at all and it was such a good surprise 

also hashtag gay???? #GAY???? 

can’t BELIEVE that bot is named hashtag. immmmmm 

tho ruth and I both agree that the cast is full enough and having 3 new terrans might be too much, so we’ll see how that goes - I kinda feel like they’ll end up more on the periphery and only show up sometimes. we’ll see tho! 

holy SHIT the fight scenes bro. specifically in the last 2 eps, oh my GOD. SOOOO fucking juicy. I’m gonna make a separate post abt that but they were EXCELLENT. one place I think cyberverse was weak in was the fight scenes - in s1 I would say they were actively boring (sorry cybv ily) and they got better but still were a bit clunky and awkward and formulaic. I feel like it was due to animation/budget constrictions more than anything 

but yeah these fights scenes rocked. I especially love the 2d smoke and fire effects 

I just wanna know more about the war too!!! like mandroid got injured, it seems, from friendly fire - did Dot as well? is that why she doesn’t seem to like or trust OP as much? 

also megatron has been working w them for 15 years - what were the previous 15 years like? what was the war like? why were they fighting? what exactly made them stop? how many other tfs are on earth? when did GHOST start being a thing? are there gonna be combiners???? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. 

biggest Q is when are the next eps coming out. pls not in like 6 mos. 

also w the fight scenes. skywarp’s warping looks SO FUCKING COOOOOL I’m so glad. yesssss 

I feel kinda bad for the cons tbh. they seem scattered and lost, with no real leader, and they’re apparently disappearing (presumably mandroid) or being imprisoned by GHOST, who I'm SURE doesn’t have any ill intentions...I wonder if the show will continue to take a more sympathetic approach to the cons (kinda like mtmte, where they kinda had a point at the beginning before they lost the thread w/all the murdering and whatnot)

also I love everyone’s designs generally but I still think OPs face looks weird hgfajkdfksjndfkj whenever he has the faceplate off I'm like Put That Back On Please. 

I like that the humans are directly involved in the plot in a way that makes sense bc the human world has already been to war with/alongside the tfs, so there are a ton of different relationships that humans can have w/the tfs. this is way more interesting than st like tfp, which I think did a pretty bad job integrating the humans, or tfa, which had Sari w/a macguffin that was plot-important in order to keep her involved 

tbf that’s kinda going on w/the kids having links to the terrans but I like the way it’s played out so far. I love the suggestions of lore we’ve gotten too, w/quintus prime and stuff

also they’ve made a point of showing that symbol in the cave where the terrans were born MORE THAN ONCE, and it totally looks like those spiderbots, so I’m thinking there’s definitely a connection there. something weird is going on 

ok also SUPER fucking funny that wheeljack showed up and found out he kinda has a kid and IMMEDIATELY decides he’s a deadbeat dad hvbkjdsfbjksandfkl. I mean he came around in the end but that was so fucking funny. PLEASE SIR 

when they bonded by shooting at each other (lmao? classic tfs) and then twitch was like aww lets hug and he didn’t even notice lmfao sir plssss 

I wonder if the dinobots will show up and if they’ll still have been created by wheeljack (and ratchet) like in g1 

also kind of hilarious how megatron was like ‘no I don’t wanna hurt the cassettes’ and then when the seekers attacked he was like ‘fuck them kids’ and went all out fighting them lmao 

I’m super curious how the megatron starscream dynamic will be in this show 

oh yeah and ruth pointed out that it’s interesting that the three new terrans are bigger than the original 2 terrans and I feel like it’s bc they were created DURING an active conflict and basically got MTO’d into a fight. Ls 

firstborn vs secondborn vibes lmfao 

ok and quintus prime....r we gonna get quintessons. hello. I would LOVE that the quintessons are like my fav antagonists (especially in cyberverse they were so good. man I should rewatch cyberverse) 

I think the quintessons are perfect villains for cases like this where the autobots and decepticons aren’t fighting each other. I’d love to see the quintessons as the villains after GHOST is dealt with 

maybe the tfs on cybertron are already dealing w/the quintessons? 

omfg and the ep where bumblebee is trying to call OPs comm and megatron and then elita pick up instead ?? hello ??? polycule?????

I wanna see more of elita 1 too! shes so cool 

also I kinda belatedly realized that this megatron doesn’t seem to have the same dislike for organics/earth people as he does in a lot of other media (most notably in idw1). that’s interesting and I like that we’re exploring a different side of his character, and I like seeing humans hanging with him. he and dot are great and I hope we get more of them, including flashbacks

anywaysss that’s all the thoughts I have for now, tune in for more next time byeeee

#transformers #tfe #earthspark #tf earthspark #lj watches earthspark #im not liveblogging per say but ill still make a tag. why not