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#then you get the same issue after graduating college
aboutiroh · 1 year
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I don't know if you still do advice but, I feel stuck. I didn't know what I wanted to do for college in high school. Now I feel like I have nowhere to go.
Hi anon, I think a lot of people can relate to you (or at least I can). Many- if not most- people don’t have life figured out at 18 and know exactly what they want from it. What I’ve learned over the years is that, deciding on a college degree or whether or not you go to college at all, while still an important decision, will not define the rest of your life. People change degrees all the time. They drop-out, re-enroll, take a gap year, go back to college after seven years or just start going for the first time at 52. There’s always going to be an infinite amounts of paths you can take, and none of them are wrong. All you can do is take a guess at which one you deem best suited for you (this could mean: the one you’ll enjoy the most, the one that will help you achieve a certain goal, the one that best suits your skillset or whatever else you want it to mean). You will never know for sure before trying it, so don’t beat yourself up for not making the ‘right’ decision. A choice that seemed smart at first, might get you stuck at a later point. A very lousy period may lead to a great opportunity. So, I guess if you’re feeling stuck, all you need to do is get moving, irrespective of what way you go.
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hannieehaee · 25 days
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18+ / mdi
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content: loser!jungkook, sub!jungkook, softdom!reader, afab reader, loss of virginity, smut, dry humping, handjob, penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 1894
a/n: this wasnt proofread at all so pls excuse any mistakes</3
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"o-oh, i don't think we should-"
"you don't want to?", you pouted at the wide eyed boy under you, hand on his chin as you made him look straight into your eyes.
"it's not that- it's just that, uh, i- i wouldnt want to be disrespectful or anything," he stumbled over his words, bunny teeth biting into his bottom lip.
you chuckled patronizingly, readjusting yourself on his lap and making him let out a low hiss at the movement.
"it's okay, bunny. we're just having fun, right? nothing wrong with it if we both want it, hmm?", your hands went down to his dress shirt, playing with the collar, undoing the very top button, "plus, we did make a deal, didn't we, bunny?"
oh, right. the deal.
jungkook's eyes almost rolled back at the implication of the agreement you had unexpectedly dropped onto his lap a few days ago.
your grade for your statistics class had somehow dropped below average somewhere along the semester, which caused your professor to recommend some tutoring to you, claiming that you'd likely not be able to graduate if you failed this class, as it was a requirement.
being in your senior year of college, failing was not a risk you could take, so you pleaded with your professor to assign you a tutor, whomever he deemed the smartest. that's when jungkook came into the picture.
by all means, jungkook could easily be described as a loser. his only friends were fellow members of the anime club, taehyung and jimin, equally as virginal as himself. more than anything, jungkook was just incredibly socially awkward, leading him to a life of loserdom as he made no friends and zero good impressions in life. this led him to dedicate all his efforts to school and give up on any social endeavors.
when the professor had asked him to tutor one of his lower-graded students, jungkook had no issue with it. he was offered extra credit if he did so, so it just seemed like a win-win situation to him. it wasnt until jungkook was told it'd be you he'd be tutoring that he began to have a problem with it.
now, jungkook didn't know you, he simply knew of you. so what if he had a crush on you? he didn't need to know the ins and outs of your personality to be into you.
except he kind of did.
to be quite frank, jungkook had a slight obsession with you ever since meeting you at orientation a few years ago. his friends were aware of his crush on you, always teasing him for taking the same classes you did just to get a glimpse of you whenever he could.
how did he find out your schedule? as ashamed as he was to admit it, he had wrongfully used his power as an administrative assistant on campus. he knew he wasnt supposed to, but he couldnt help in looking up your name and saving your schedule for future use.
unfortunately, jungkook never did anything other than coordinate your schedules. he was far too shy to even make eye contact with you, having never even introduced himself to you.
and now he had to tutor you. alone in your room as you sat side by side.
at least that was what he had pictured, not this. not you catching onto his crush immediately and proposing you pay him back for his efforts in the form of taking his virginity.
he could've sworn he almost had a heart attack when you'd shamelessly suggested it, somehow clocking both his crush and his virginal state within twenty minutes of your first session.
that session had ended quickly after that, with jungkook sheepishly accepting with a desperate nod and receiving a chaste kiss on his cheek as a goodbye.
and now you straddled him while he sat on your bed, hands shyly holding onto your hips.
"y-yeah, the deal," he breathed through his nose, mentally preparing himself for whatever you'd do to him. he'd take anything you gave him.
you grinned at him, lowering your head to kiss at his neck, making him immediately sigh in pleasure. he could feel the stickiness of your lipgloss leaving its mark on his neck, but he didnt care. he wished the marks could stay forever.
nibbling at his neck, you made some longer-lasting marks, making him groan as his fingers dug into your pajama-clad hips. that's when your lips made their way back up, catching his own on his first kiss ever.
he knew he might've been awkward in how he kissed, but you didn't seem to mind it, taking his jaw in your hand and tilting his head so you could lick into his mouth. his soul left him at that moment, with his tongue far too desperate in its movement while yours remained slow and sensual. despite how messy he was, you still moaned against his lips, beginning to grind your hips into his own.
"a-ah, that's ... fuck," he breathed out.
"you like how that feels, bunny?" you whispered into his mouth, "just wait til you feel my pussy,"
this time his eyes did roll back. the mere thought of you wrapped around him made him want to rip his hair out in desperation, almost unable to wait until you have yourself to him.
you continued to suckle on his tongue, making him grow more and more frustrated by the second. your hands eventually came to fully unbutton his shirt, removing it before beginning to feel up his chest and arms, gasping into his mouth when his own arms wrapped around you and brought you closer.
jungkook felt his mind cloud as you ground against him, convinced that if he didn't get more from you, he'd lose his mind. fortunately for him, no begging was necessary for you to give him something that'd have his breath catching in his throat and his tent growing even harder.
he pathetically followed your lips when you pulled away, though he sat in complete awe upon realizing the reason why you'd pulled away in the first place. suddenly the sight of your breasts became the most pressing matter in jungkook's life. his breath stopped and his heart raced, making him feel like he'd pass out if he even dared make contact with the newly revealed skin.
yet his reaction did not prevent you from grabbing his hands and placing them on your breasts, guiding him so he'd squeeze and play with them.
"o-oh, fuck. they're so ... so fucking soft," he whimpered, "so pretty and ... shit, c-can i ... can- can i play with them?", he pleaded, eyes never leaving your swollen buds as his hands hesitantly ran over your breasts.
he hoped you knew what he meant by play, because he was far too embarrassed to properly word his desire.
luckily for him, you were just so nice and so pretty and so so smart that you understood, removing his hands and guiding his face to your breasts, pressing them together so he could rub his head against them, nuzzling his nose into the skin as be groaned a gruttal groan. his shy tongue came out to lick at them just moments later, licking over your nipples all while he whined and cried as if he was the one receiving the stimulation.
at some point your hands snuck between the two of you, sneaking beneath his pants and grabbing onto his cock. you jerked him as he lost himself to the supple skin of your breasts, letting out breathy whines into your skin while his hands tightly held onto you.
as pathetic as he knew he must've looked, he didn't care. he'd wanted you for years, and suddenly he had you in his arms, willing to let him do anything he wanted? any social filters within him left him, letting his unending desire for you take over no matter how embarrassed he would be at his desperate behavior after the fact.
you let him play with your tits for a while, letting out the prettiest sighs of pleasure as he got his fill of you, eventually pulling him away so you could kiss him again. despite being out of breath, he kissed you back with everything he had, now more able to match your pace.
"bunny, wanna ride you," you pulled away with a pretty pout, letting go of his dick.
"p-please. yes, i- yes," he stammered, hands coming down to touch at his clothed cock out of reflex.
giggling at his desperation, you attempted to get up, only to be stopped by jungkook's grabby hands as he whined at you not to let go. grabbing his arms, you reminded him you needed to take off your shorts, making him get an embarrassed look on his face at the realization.
he got up to take off his own pants, sitting back down and pulling you to him the moment you'd stripped. once more, you giggled at how badly he clearly wanted you, pulling him into yet another kiss.
"i'm gonna sit on it now, okay, bunny?", you breathed against him as you lifted yourself to line him up.
jungkook didn't trust his voice to not let out yet another string of desperate pleas, so he simply nodded, taking a deep breath to prepare himself.
but nothing could prepare him for the warmth of your cunt, nor for how tightly it wrapped around his cock, taking all air out of him. he couldnt help the whimpers of desperation that came out of his mouth when you first started bouncing against him, tightening every so often just to get a reaction out of him.
burying his head in your neck, he babbled nonsense against you, incapable of halting his pathetic noises enough to hear your own pretty moans.
after some time, you grabbed onto one of his hands, leading it between the two of you and guiding him, "play with my clit, bunny," you blindly guided him until he finally found your clit, following your instructions of rubbing it all while your bouncing never seized
and god, had that been a mistake.
you got impossibly tighter, dragging your nails down his back and crying his name in the prettiest gasps ever heard by man. he knew he'd meet his end like this, far sooner than he wanted. but he was comforted in knowing that your orgasm was close too, catching onto your pleas to cum with you.
muttering constant praise towards you, jungkook's orgasm took over him as your own arrived, making him deliver endless thank you's while your speed fastened and your rhythm lost all its sense.
"t-thank you, oh, fuck. thank you ... so fucking good, it's- it's so good. oh, thank you ..."
you immediately fell onto each other when your highs had gone down, equally out of breath. being the sweet girl jungkook always knew you to be, he hummed in contentment when you held onto him, cuddling into him in a loving manner and playing with his hair.
if you weren't careful, he'd probably fall in love with you even more than he already had.
he only broke the silence after a few minutes of cuddling, still slightly out of breath.
"do you- do you still wanna go over your statistics homework?"
you laughed, nuzzling further into him, "maybe tomorrow, bunny."
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l0v3tast3 · 1 year
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pervy neighbor!toji headcanons !
toji sets his sights on you and just can't look away!
✎ tags: mdni!, smut, female reader, maybe tw for stepcest (toji dates your mom)?, age gap (reader is college age, toji is probably late-30's), kind of dubious consent, infidelity, loss of virginity, unsafe sex, kind of obsessive!toji, pet names, breeding kink, corruption kink, dacryphilia, reader definitely has daddy issues (but no daddy kink)
✎ word count: 5k words (might have gotten a little carried away. but it's proofread!)
✎ author's note: something about jjk characters makes me have the worst, filthiest thoughts i've ever had, but i'm not upset about it. also genuinely surprised that this turned out to be 5k words i thought it would be like 2k max ( 〃▽〃) . . . toji brings out the best and worst in me <3
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♡ when toji first lays eyes on you, it's sick how fast he starts thinking dirty thoughts. your mother and you are his new neighbors, coming over to say "hi" and introduce yourselves. your mother looked to be around his age, while you looked like you were probably in college (she must have had you when she was young like he had with megumi), but the way you half-hid yourself behind your mom wasn't helping you look any older.
♡ your mom makes you introduce yourself to him and you do so shyly, calling him "mr. zenin", barely making eye contact with the man that was a full head and a half taller than you. he smiles down at you and sticks out his hand, and after a moment you shakily take it, his engulfing yours completely. he could easily pin down both your hands with one of his. hell, he could pin down your whole body with one of his hands. he lingers a little too long, and you retreat a little further behind your mom after he lets go, your face an adorable shade of red.
♡ toji only half-listens to your mother rambling on, mostly just staring at you and being grateful that his shirt was long enough to cover his boner. he tuned in when she talked about how you went to college but still lived with her because it wasn't far. he also listened to when your mother mentioned her job took her across the country or even out of it a lot of the time. oh, so many thoughts were already forming in his head. toji could get quite creative when he wanted to.
♡ he can tell your mom is attracted to him when she juts out her chest and mentions her deadbeat ex-husband more than once. so he exchanges numbers with her and flirts a little. he's a single man, what else is he to do?
♡ toji figures out that, by the grace of god it seems, your bedroom is the one with the window directly across from his, and you don't seem to realize that your pink lace curtains are see-through. it really just kept getting better for him, didn't it? he absolutely watches your silhouette of you changing, watching your little figure take your shirt and shorts off, imagining he was in the room with you. if he were there, he wouldn't have to watch you put on other clothes. he would take off your clothes for you, probably rip them a little too (on accident, of course). he would make sure you didn't put anything on for a good long time, except maybe some cute lingerie. or a collar.
♡ he takes the time to work up to dating your mom. toji's a patient man, he can wait to get his hands on you. distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? and the better he gets to know your mother, the better he gets to know you, too. oh, she raves about you, of course! a model student and such a good girl, never getting into any trouble, always focusing on your schoolwork. you graduated top of your class in high school, and were on track to do the same in college. her baby was basically a genius! toji's heart swelled to hear about just how much of a good girl you were.
♡ it's not long before he's at your dinner table with your mother and you and a wonderful home-cooked meal. the woman that he's supposed to be looking at luckily talks enough that she doesn't realize toji is staring at you the whole time. you practically squirm in your chair under his gaze, hardly saying a word unless you were spoken to. he asks you normal questions, like how's school going, oh you're in your last year? any plans after college? he loves hearing your meek voice stutter out your answers. your mom has to tell you to speak up and you get that cute redness in your cheeks again, raising your voice just the slightest bit. you still called him "mr. zenin", so he tells you to just call him toji. you nod, but you don't actually say his name after that.
♡ at the end of the meal, he of course insists on cleaning up himself, and he's in the kitchen with a grin when he hears your mother telling you to help him clean up. you mumble something he can't hear, and your mom responds with "he is not scary, now go help him!" and he laughs a little. he'll make sure you aren't scared of him for long.
♡ you shuffle in with a few more dirty dishes and place them next to the sink, then look around for something to do before awkwardly picking up a rag and starting to dry what he had already washed. after a little bit of silence, toji strikes up some friendly conversation. "so, are you really liking college? your mom has been telling me all about how well you're doing. she's always talking about how much of a good girl you are," he says. the way your face once again got red was something toji needed to see more often. you seem to stop dead in your tracks and malfunction a bit when he calls you a "good girl", and you stutter something like "uh, yeah, it's- it's been good. she... actually said all that?" he wants to feel how you'll clench around him when he calls you a good girl as you take his thick cock. "yeah, she did," he says with a chuckle. "what? does she not say it to you a lot?" you shake your head no. poor baby, no one was telling you how great of a job you were doing. toji will, though. he'll praise you all night long when you manage to fit all of him inside you.
♡ he starts coming over more after that. he notices that (when asked first) you start telling him more about your achievements in college, like when you ace an exam or your professors write good feedback on your essays. and of course, he's always there to tell you what a great job you did; sometimes he adds in the words "good girl", just for fun. he even starts getting little smiles out of you, tiny at first, but they started spreading to your pretty eyes not too long after. you even start calling him "toji", finally. his name sounds so good coming out of your mouth, he wants to hear you say it while he's got his head shoved between your squishy thighs.
♡ it takes months, months of toji jerking himself off to every filthy thought imaginable about you, months of getting you to warm up to him, months of convincing your mother that he really was into her. it all pays off when the worst storm of the season rolls in. it's around 10pm when your mom calls him from halfway across the country, worried about you because she heard about the storm. apparently, you'll "freak out" if the power goes out. you get paranoid easily, she says. toji tells her not to worry, he'll check on you. he grabs his keys and coat and is knocking on your door within two minutes, albeit drenched in rain water. he sees you peak around the curtain of the window next to the door before you open it, asking him what he was doing here. "your mom asked me to check on you. says you scare easy." she was absolutely right, but you still huffed indignantly.
♡ you let him in, of course, and ask him if he wants a change of clothes. you say your mom probably has some of her ex's old clothes lying around that might fit him. he says sure and asks if he could shower, too. you stutter out a "yeah" and lead him to the bathroom, showing him where the towels and soaps were, accidentally brushing against him in the tight space. he can feel how intense your heartbeat is, just for a second. it makes toji want to smooth his hands all over your body, dig into the knots in your back and make it slow before he raises it even higher. you scurry off to your moms room to find a change of clothes for him.
♡ it takes you awhile to dig out something that might fit him, a black t-shirt and gray sweatpants. it takes you so long, in fact, that he's out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around his waist, opening the door just when you're about to leave the clothes on the floor. he thinks your nose might actually start bleeding when you see him shirtless, and it's the cutest thing he's ever seen. part of him thinks it would be funny to just drop the towel, but you scare easy. you hand him the clothes and speed-walk to the living room before he can thank you.
♡ toji gets changed into the t-shirt that clings to his skin and the sweatpants that are loose but will definitely show the imprint of his dick as soon he sits down. luckily, your couch has pillows. he finds you in the living room, your legs curled up to your chest as you look through netflix for something to watch. he plops down right beside you, making sure to grab a pillow for his lap, putting a foot up on the coffee table. you ask him if he's staying, and he says of course, what if the power goes out? do you know how to use the circuit breaker? you say you sort of do. he clicks his tongue and declares he's staying. you just hand him the tv remote and tell him to choose something to watch. you always let him take the lead with everything.
♡ it takes a lot of back and forth of him teasing you for never knowing what to watch and you just repeating "just put on whatever you want!", and when you finally do decide on something, the power goes out. you let out a squeak and instinctively press yourself closer to him, but he's wrapping an arm around you and saying softly that it's alright, it'll come back on soon. he can see your worried expression from the streetlights shining in faintly, and he reaches up to lightly pinch your cheek, muttering that you're so cute like this.
♡ "you think- you think 'm cute?" you ask quietly, and he nods with a smirk. "mhm, think you're adorable. such a pretty girl," he says, leaning in just a little closer. his large hand that takes up half your face is in your hair now, tangling his fingers in it and playing with it a little. you're so warm, heating up the more he touched you. his other hand rubs your back, slowly going lower, inch by inch. he can see his touch having an effect on you, a very, very positive one. your breathing gets a little bit quicker. he can feel your heartbeat through your back.
♡ "think you're the prettiest girl i've ever seen." the hand on your back is coming back up, to your shoulder and grazing past your neck to cup the side of your jaw and stroke his thumb over your soft cheek. "do you not think you're pretty, baby?" you definitely notice the pet name, but you don't say anything about it, just look down and shake your head a little. "oh, princess, can't have that now." he guides your head back up to make you look at him again with wide eyes. "i can show you. you're gonna let me show you how pretty you are, right baby?"
♡ you give a tiny nod and he kisses you, and god, toji is in love with your lips. they're so soft and sweet, and he can't help but move a hand to the back of your neck to pull you in deeper, greedily swallowing the little noises you made. he finds it cute how you struggle to keep up with him, how a whimper escapes you when one of his overly-sharp canines catches your lip. he wants to mark you all over with them, claim every part of your body as his, listen to you yelp when he sinks them in almost too deep.
♡ toji draws away and laughs when you try to follow him, taking in your dazed look, red lips shiny with his and your spit and blown pupils. "aw, sweet girl, you already look so fucked out. haven't even done anything to you yet," he mumbles as he starts kissing down your jaw and around your neck. the pillow is gone and he's picking you up effortlessly to put you on his lap, facing him. he's obsessed with how small you are compared to him. you're trying so hard to hold back more noises, and your hands go to his broad shoulders, as if you were going to push him away (not that it would do anything, he's got an arm wrapped around your back now). but you don't, you just gasp out a whiny "what about my mom and you?" and he draws back a little to look you in the eye, lips hovering just over yours again. "'m just showin' you how pretty you are, baby. she doesn't appreciate you enough, does she? i can, so much better, princess. we can keep it secret, right?" he says, his voice low and rumbling and you look hypnotized.
♡ you nodded a little with an "mhm" and he smiles, kissing you again. he takes his time with you, as agonizing as it is, but he needs to work you open. your mom was going to be gone for another few days still, and he had already waited this long. when he pulled away again he went straight to kissing down the other side of your neck, using his hand still in your hair to move your baggy shirt to expose more skin. he uses the other one around your waist to press you into him a little more and down enough to feel his hard dick through your shorts and his pants. it forces a little gasp out of you and your grip on his shoulders tightens, balling his shirt. "toji, i've never- haven't done this before," you mumble. he knows, of course, he knew it from the start, could practically smell it on you.
♡ "'s okay, princess, i'll go slow. i'll be so gentle with you, promise," he mumbles into your skin, his hands all over your body, in your hair and on your back and your arms and under your breasts, over your stomach. it's almost overwhelming to you. his hands end up grabbing you under your thighs, just below your ass, and you let out a yelp and wrapped your arms around his neck tight when he stands up with you. "c'mon, baby, can't show you how pretty you are in here." he brings you to your room, glad to see there's a little bit of streetlight coming in too here. he sits down on the edge of your cushy bed with you still in his lap, lathering your collarbone with attention.
♡ his hands are rubbing your hips, edging underneath your shirt and pressing you down more and more against his aching cock. "feel how hard you get me, sweet girl? 's cause you're so damn cute," he breathes, and he's so happy when you start shakily grinding down against him, your legs spread so wide by his. he's been waiting for this for so fucking long, and now he's finally in your room, finally inching your shirt over your head for you. toji's scar stretches with his smile when he sees you aren't wearing a bra, and he catches the arm that tries to cover yourself up. "mm-mm, princess, gotta see all of ya." he puts your hand back on his shoulder and uses his to grope the tit he's not sucking and nipping and licking at. your body twitches and a dainty hand goes to his hair, and you're finally moaning for him, whimpering his name when he tugs a little too hard with his teeth.
♡ the power comes back on on it's own just as your nipples are starting to get sore, your fairy lights taped around the edge of the ceiling lighting the room up with a soft glow. toji detaches himself from you and smiles. "can finally fuckin' see ya again, 'bout time," he mumbles, going right back to what he was just doing. you whine and your grip on his hair and shoulder get a little bit tighter, but his hands don't let you move in any direction except closer to him. he keeps going, too busy thinking about how gorgeous your tits will look when they're swollen with milk, how sweet they already are and how much sweeter they will be, until you tug on his hair a little and say his name between sharp breaths. he finally lets up and his hands go to your waist and hips.
♡ he helps guide you while you grind down on him, just taking in how you close your eyes and let out sweet little gasps whenever he bumps your clit through your shorts and underwear. "gonna let me take these off of ya, sweet girl?" he murmurs, his hands massaging your thighs and ass, waiting impatiently for you to nod again before he picks you up again and lays you down on your bed. he's just glad it's a queen size; enough space for him to fuck you most ways he wants.
♡ he follows your shorts and underwear down your legs with his mouth, committing all your embarrassed squeaks to memory. you try to close your legs once he has everything off but of course he doesn't let you. toji's smile doesn't leave his face while he's taking your thighs in his hands to spread them apart, leaving one to smooth a hand over your belly. "prettiest girl i've ever fuckin' seen," he says again, watching his hand go to spread your little pussy apart. his thumb grazes your clit and your hips jerk and he laughs. "so damn sensitive. never had anyone down here, baby, not even to eat this pretty pussy out?" you can't even look at him when you shake your head. if it's possible, his dick gets even harder. "good. dumbass frat boys couldn't ever do it like i can."
♡ once toji finally gets his mouth on your soaked cunt he doesn't think he's capable of stopping. you're practically dripping onto the bed, and he's there to lick every drop up, swallowing it happily and coaxing as much more as he can out of you with his tongue. your body is already writhing, you already have your hands in his hair, you're already crying out for him, and he's in a state of euphoria.
♡ he stops for a moment and you're about to ask what's wrong before he's muttering about how the bed is "too damn short" and you're being dragged down to the edge. your noise of surprise turns into a gasp when he starts sucking on your clit again, now kneeling on the floor. toji throws your legs over his shoulders and holds down the top of one to keep you in place, his other hand coming back to your pussy. his middle finger is slowly sinking into you and he moans into you when he feels how tight you are; his hand is never going to be enough to get himself off after this. when he starts working in a second finger you cum; you can feel it everywhere in you, taking over your body and your head (you think you may get addicted to this, to toji doing this to you).
♡ of course, toji doesn't stop after you've cum once. he gives you a little break, despite being so close to breaking himself. he's so close to letting himself loose on you, so close to digging his fingers in just bit too hard and sinking his teeth in too deep. somehow, he manages to just rub your hips and nip at your inner thighs. you mewl out his name and try to pull him back up to you but he doesn't budge, instead laughing and shaking his head. "not yet, princess, you're still way too tight." he pushes two fingers back in, his mouth hovering back over your clit. "wouldn't want to rip you in half, would we?" you stopped listening the second he started back up on your still-sensitive clit, throwing your head back and grabbing his hair again. "ah-h, toji, wait-!" he wasn't listening either.
♡ he doesn't let up until he makes you cum with three fingers (twice) and you're nearly crying from overstimulation. the only words you seem to be able to form at this point are "toji" and "please", and toji thinks this is his new favorite version of you. eventually, when he runs out of patience and he deems that it won't hurt that much, he finally lets you come down from the high he'd kept you on. he leaves one more mark on your thigh before he stands up to strip himself down quick, releasing a breath of relief when his aching cock is finally freed.
♡ it takes a moment for toji to decide how to take you. in all the months he waited and thought about this, he never could decide on this part. he would have you ride him, if your legs weren't still shaking. he decided to just say "fuck it" and go with missionary; easier to see your cute expressions like that. toji moves you back up the bed and climbs over you, smiling and cooing down at your watery eyes and his favorite shade of red painting your skin. he wraps your legs around your waist and brings his hands to cup your face again.
♡ "aw, what's wrong, baby? you were beggin' me for somethin' just a minute ago, what was it? hm, princess? c'mon, use your words." you mumble out a little "please", and toji shakes his head. "'please' what? you want more, 's that what you're tryin' to say? c'mon baby, tell me you want more," he says, one of his huge hands grabbing your jaw, putting the lightest amount of pressure on it. your eyes widen a bit and you nod, squeaking out a "more, toji, please!" and his cheeks start to hurt from how wide his smile grows.
♡ he took a moment to appreciate the view of his dick resting heavy on your stomach, a before-shot of how deep he'll reach inside of you. his head came to just below your belly button; toji could have came just from that. he notices you're still just looking at him and he takes one of your hands and wraps it around his cock for you, and you finally look down at it. he wishes he could take a picture of your face, it's both hilarious and incredibly cute. "toji, 's not- not gonna fit," you mumble as he moves your hand up and down it. he laughs a little. "we'll make it fit, princess, don't worry." he's gathering both your hands now in one of his and pinning them over your head. "it'll only hurt for a minute, then it'll feel so good, baby, i promise. not gonna want me to ever stop." toji rubs his dick through the folds of your pussy, covering it in your own arousal, his head brushing your clit and making you whine. "all ya gotta do is lay here all pretty and take it for me, you can do that, right baby? i know you can, bein' such a good girl for me." you're melting and practically dripping from his words and he lines his head up to start pushing into you.
♡ your hands squeeze his just about as tight as your tiny pussy does around the head of his cock once it pops in. toji kisses you and moans while you gasp, and he pushes in a little more, and you already feel like this would be enough. he's so thick; his fingers had felt so big to you, but now that just made you feel dumb. he draws back an inch just to push in two more and your legs are tightening around his waist. you're making cute little noises while he pushes your jaw up to mark more of your neck. he's everywhere, surrounding your entire body with his, not giving you an inch to move. you feel him everywhere, inside and out, and he's so deep inside you, and he still has a couple inches to go.
♡ his hips finally meet your thighs and toji thinks he's found heaven. he was so elated to have you how he wanted you, ecstatic that his months of work had finally paid off. he stops sucking on your neck to come nose-to-nose with you, his hold on your jaw loosening so he could thread his hand through your hair. "ohh, fuck, pretty girl, you're doin' so fuckin' good, bein' such a good girl for me," he breathed with a smile and hooded eyes. "does it hurt, princess? 'm sorry, it'll go away soon, baby, i promise. gonna feel so good in a minute. feels so good around me, so much better that i ever thought- shit, baby," he chokes out a moan when you're squeezing even tighter around him and you whine, trying to move your hips to get him to move.
♡ he starts moving, and he swears he tries to go slow, but it admittedly doesn't take long before he's really fucking you. "takin' it like a fuckin' champ, baby, my god. feels so fuckin' good. never leavin' this pussy, fuckin' never, princess. hah, sweet girl, don't squirm so much, how am i supposed to find all your good spots like that? that's it, baby, just take it for me. such a good fucking girl." his mouth gets filthy and it just doesn't stop running while he fucks any air and any thoughts out of your body. he's too deep, there's too much of him but it's so good that you just don't care. it's so much better than you thought it would be, toji makes it so much better than you thought it would be.
♡ you cum before long and he fucks you through it, holding your jaw to keep eye contact with you the entire time, obsessed with the tears threatening to fall from your wet lashes. he slows down as you come down and you think he's mercifully giving you a break when he pulls out, despite your cry of protest that he wants to make his ringtone. then he's picking you up and standing up with you to sit in front of your floor-length mirror with your back to his chest. "don't ya remember, baby? i gotta show you just how pretty you are," he says in your ear as he digs his hands into your hips and ass tight enough that there will definitely be bruises, but he's lining you up and pushing you down on his cock before you can whine about it. you're clawing at his arms and reaching behind you to grab his hair while he keeps sinking you down, and he watches with a salacious grin.
♡ "see, princess, see how pretty you are? bouncin' up and down on my cock like you were fuckin' made for it, you were, weren't you? fuckin' perfect fit. you look so perfect taking my cock, such a pretty girl. prettiest fuckin' girl i've ever seen. no, no, don't look away baby, watch how good you take my dick inside your tiny little pussy. that's it, princess. this pussy is mine now, right, baby? right? yeah, all mine now. gonna ruin you for any other man on the fuckin' planet."
♡ you came again and toji wasn't far behind you after that, practically using you like a toy at this point. you did your best to cling to him, but the only thing you could do in his hold was to watch and feel his fat cock bullying in and out of your pussy. babbles and moans were all you could manage now, and the only thing that would have made toji happier was if he had his phone in his hands to record it. he'd have plenty of chances later, anyways.
♡ "gonna let me cum in your pretty pussy, baby? aww, hah, too cock drunk to speak, huh? did i fuck you dumb already? mm, like you like this a lot, princess. so sweet for me. i'll fill you up with my cum as a reward, how's that sound? ha! your pussy likes that idea! squeezin' me so damn tight, you like that idea, don't you pretty girl? ohh, just be good and take it, just like that baby."
♡ he slams you down all the way on his cock and wraps his arms around you, grinding up into you hard, and you feel your belly get warm and somehow you feel even more full. you go limp against him, closing your eyes and whimpering with every twitch of his hips. it's just the mix of your heavy breathing for a few moments before toji's sitting back up from curling you both forward, looking in the mirror again.
♡ "aww, c'mon baby, you're letting it all leak out," he says, his voice gravelly and a bit heavier than before. when you don't open your eyes fast enough, his hand is in your hair and pulling it to make you look at where his cum is leaking out of you around his cock. and he's still hard.
♡ "guess i'll just have to fill you up again to make up for it, huh, pretty girl?"
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holybibly · 4 months
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IT'S YOU |Woosan x reader| Part II
Part I If you haven't read it
Genre: smut, from friends to lovers!au, college!au
Word Count: 9.4k
Summary: Sometimes drunken decisions lead to the most unexpected results and the most shocking confessions. Or, after your boyfriend cheats on you, you propose a threesome to your best friends and it might just be what they have always wanted.
WARNING: only!18+ unprotected sex, Dom!San, Dom!Wooyoung, Sub!Reader, fingering, choking, degrading, pet names, spit kink, manhandling, threesomes, dirty talk, explicit sexual content, explicit language, squirting, pussy slapping, overstimulation and more.
Tag list: @staytiny816 @woosmaid @jiminssluttyminx @liknws @pearltinyy @haebaragisworld @bts-iris @bleachpolaroid @wisejudgedragonhairdo @ginger-coffee-addict @pricessthings @rockstarsanie @lilmackiee @minaizum1 @shotahime @vixensss @meljoongiee @ivsjake4evr @love-me-a-little @seonghwaddict @onmykneesforateez @meeitany
A/N: Okay, we're here. I couldn't be more excited. Really, they've got a lot going on and I hope you're all ready because it's gonna be intense, hot and messy. Seriously, I really appreciate everyone's feedback and consideration for this series. It's become one of the most popular things I've written, but it put some pressure on me, because I'm worrying about whether the second part would please you. Well, I think we'll see.
Enjoy the chapter, even though it's practically nothing but smut.
The third and final part! takes us back to where it all began, but not without an emotional roller coaster ride. By the way, I wanted to point out that T/N doesn't remember what she promised them a year ago. So don't be surprised by the plot changes in this issue. In the finale, we're sure to get a hot threesome.
I'm still learning how to write smut, so please be gentle with me.
Besides, I can't help but talk about the results of the poll. The majority vote was for Alpha/Beta/Omega!au, and honestly, it's one of the ideas I'm most excited about, and I was hoping it would be the winner. I look forward to your comments. In general, feel free to write me about anything.
dividers by @cafekitsune
Much love, everyone.
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Now. The morning after graduation.
It's a late, lazy morning when you wake from a deep and well-earned sleep. You blinked slowly, trying to adjust to the bright golden light flooding the room, which refracted through your bedroom's stained glass. It was beautiful and annoying at the same time, just as Hongjoong himself, who had inspired you to do this.
You should have shaded the windows last night before you went to sleep, but that was the last thing you thought of as lying in bed between the restless, wet San's and Wooyoung's bodies. You were more preoccupied with the touch of their rough hands on your heated body, the warmth of their breath on tender skin, and the sounds of their hoarse moaning right by your ear.
They were an absolute mess, slowly driving you crazy. Emotions raged in your stomach, making you feel guilty, embarrassed and… lustful. You practically dozed off at dawn, when the boys managed to calm down a bit and fall into a deep sleep.
The apartment is incredibly quiet; you can't hear a single sound, and only the soft sniffle on your neck, with the feeling of warm breath dancing across your bare skin, breaks this peaceful silence.
Wooyoung is still fast asleep, clutching you in his arms like a favorite teddy bear, his leg wrapped possessively around your thigh as it always has been. Even when he was asleep, he couldn't bring himself to let you go for a second.
You ran the palm of your hand over the sheet and felt nothing but the cold under your fingers. Sannie has been awake for a while now, and for a moment you're annoyed by this fact. You wish that he was still in bed with you, soft and gentle as he always was. So that the three of you could spend this special morning together. The graduation robes are scattered all over the room in a mess of things, and all you want to do is push them further and further into the wardrobe and forget about them forever. The dog days are finally over. You are now official free.
Sensual, full lips touch the sensitive spot on your neck, and the sensation sends shivers down your spine. The throat is suddenly dry, sweat begins to form on your neck from the abruptly increase in desire, and you close your eyes tightly, aware of every touch and breath coming from Wooyoung more clearly than before. It's as if your whole body is completely focused on him, reacting to every fleeting movement and every sound with even more eager devotion.
You're still too receptive from last night, and you need more space to try and keep all those dirty, depraved thoughts from taking over and you. You studiously ignore the slight shiver of excitement that is happily tickling your breasts and causing the muscles in your lower abdomen to ripple in a pleasant way. You bite your lip to keep yourself from groaning in frustration as the images and sensations of the night flash in front of your eyes. You need to stop right now. It's too bad, but it's too sweet.
You start to wriggle, trying to get away from Wooyoung, who is still sleeping, but he just pulls you closer to his chest, as if he wants to dissolve into your body completely, and you melt.
Wooyoung has always been so insatiable and greedy for any kind of physical contact that you can offer him, like an adorable little puppy, that you can just wag your finger at him and he'll come running to you. He always had "too much space between you"; it was important to him to hold you constantly, to touch soft skin with his fingertips, to leave butterfly kisses in every possible place, to knead your thighs and squeeze waist possessively, to pull you so close that there wasn't a centimetre between you. You were his darling, soft and sweet girl in all the right places, and he just couldn't help himself.
San used to tell him that he was being a bit greedy and that he needed to learn how to share you with others. After all, sharing meant caring, and you were also his chagi.
Yes, you wanted to be taken care of, and that frightened you to the depths of your most forbidden fantasies. You wanted to be nervous about them; you wanted them to use you as they pleased, to make you take everything they had to offer, even if it destroyed you completely.
Your desire for them was more than you should have as friends. And that feeling had only grown stronger over the past year.
But despite Wooyoung's obsession and possessiveness, his touch always soothed you. He gave you the comfort you needed whenever you felt the need. And in the end, his hands would always nudge you in the direction of San, so that he could have his own moment of sharing with you. You were their own personal cuddly toy, and that was fine with you, because there was no place in the world where you could feel more protected and cuddly than in their arms.
But at the moment, you wanted nothing more than to get away from his touch and calm down your excitement. You'd been so needy since last night, and Wooyoung had only added to your frustration.
He's shirtless, his skin warm and smooth, and you can be sure it's golden like caramel where the sun has licked it. Delicious. You can almost taste him on the tip of your tongue, and suddenly you're tempted to sink your teeth into him for a taste, but you just bite down harder on your lower lip and stifle a moan.
You need to stop being so intensely... aware of him.
Maybe you were still drunk from the last night; after all, you couldn't remember exactly how many shots of tequila you'd consumed before dragging Yunho into the ladies' room to start kissing passionately. And you found yourself in an even more suggestive position with Seonghwa after another round of colourful, unnamed cocktails.
From then on, every innocent act made you feel lustful and hungry for intimacy.
Was it karma or something? You weren't sure, but you were more inclined to think that it was the lack of passionate sex you hadn't been having for a year now. You hadn't been able to find anyone suitable for a long-term relationship after you'd broken up with Suho, and boys-toys hadn't given you any pleasure.
You wanted more than ten minutes of gasping under the covers with awkward fingers poking into the pussy. They were cum faster than you were able to get yourself aroused. Pathetic.
You needed to satisfy that hunger that was eating you from the inside out, that oppressive feeling of emptiness inside you that could only be filled by a big dick that you could choke on for the rest of your life. A thick and long one, with visibly bulging veins, that could really hit all the sensitive places inside you, causing you to have orgasm after orgasm. And having not one but two perfectly matched options handy hasn't made things any easier.
If you offered to suck them off, Wooyoung's dick would be in your mouth in no time. He was always a fireball, passionate, and impatient, and San…San liked to play with his food before getting down to business. You were in awe of how perfect their dynamic was with such different personalities.
You wanted to see how attractive they would be when a warm throat closed around their cocks, when their beautiful faces were contorted with intense pleasure, and when you heard them moan out your name.
Damn it.
It's moments like these that make you realize that moving in with Wooyoung and San was the best and worst decision you ever made. Unless you count buying a pair of designer jeans that make your butt a magnet for people's hands.
The time went by far too quickly for your liking. It was easy to get lost in the succession of school days, week after week, punctuated by movie nights, spontaneous outings and a seemingly endless stream of student parties. Everything in your life changes. From the big renovation of your apartment, which was Hongjoong's job - he was still over the loss of his favourite vintage sofa - to the move in of San and Wooyoung. Things started to move at an even faster pace the day the boys dragged their suitcases into the dark space of your ultra-modern living room, to a general "You should have done this a long time ago".
It was a spontaneous and hasty decision. But what could have gone wrong? It's always been the three of you, and you had no idea that sharing space would have any effect on your relationship. God, how wrong you were. They played cat and mouse with you, testing your mettle and your patience. The memory of that moment is still so vivid in your mind.
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"Come on, chagi, try it; it's quite tasty." San brought a spoonful of the dark green liquid, which Wooyoung proudly called the best hangover soup in the world, to your lips.
Jung Wooyoung and his ego, of course.
"Go ahead, baby; be good and open your mouth. It'll make you feel good, I  promise." That last sentence was full of innuendo, and it didn't take a genius to see it. In fact, everything that came out of Wooyoung's mouth was absolute filth.
He was practically purring in your ear, touching your delicate skin with every word, and you swear you could feel the touch of his tongue on your earlobe. Oh, fuck. His hands slid down your shoulders, deftly kneading the muscles that had gone stiff, his thumbs sliding up the vertebrae of your neck, and he dug a little bit into the hair at the back of your neck. In that moment, you were ready to do anything for him, whatever he asked.
"That's my Chagia, so docile and sweet." San would continue to feed you slowly with a spoon, smiling sweetly at you as if it were the most pleasant thing in the world to do. From time to time, he would wipe away the drops of liquid that ran down your lips with his thumb, as if in a romantic drama. You were perfectly capable of doing it yourself. But San's meaningful raised eyebrow made it clear that it was better to let him take care of you without resistance. San's language of love had always been to serve, and he took every opportunity to remind you of that.
The silence around you was nice and cozy—you'd even say relaxing—especially since you could still feel the humming bass of last night's music in your head. And all in all, you weren't feeling your best. Hell, that shit you drank last night was strong. This went on for a few more minutes until the plate in front of you was empty and Woo's face was pressed against your cheek in a cute puppy way. 
"Woo, and I wanted to talk to you about something, Y/N," San began, his voice suddenly becoming so sweet. He took your hand gently, his thumb stroking your knuckles lazily. He obviously wanted something from you.
"Sure, I'm all ears."
"We'd like to move in with you, peach, what do you think?" Wooyoung was pecking at your cheek, acting like a real sweetheart, but you knew every one of his tactics to get what he wanted.
"You're not going to get it if Woo keeps licking my cheek."
"But, Peach…" He whined, pursing his puffy lips in a resentful manner. Okay, he was cute as hell, but you were never going to tell him that.
"Chagi." You turned your attention back to San, who looked like he was confessing his love to you: Are this hearts in his eyes? Or are you still drunk?
"Agreed, we are practically living here anyway; I even have my own toothbrush in the bathroom. It's just a formality." He was awfully proud of it, squaring his shoulders and imagining himself under your gaze.
"We want to take care of you, baby."
And this is where you should have told them to fuck off and forget the way to your apartment, change the locks, and give San his toothbrush back. But whether it was the soft and somehow loving look of San's cat eyes paired with deep, sweet dimples or Wooyoung's gentle hands that started to knead your shoulders again in a languidly seductive way, you nodded affirmatively.
They were right; you were all practically living together. The amount of their stuff in your flat was unreal—the T-shirts you slept in, the perfume bottles left everywhere, study notes, games, pajamas and scarves, Wooyoung's luxurious leather jackets, and San's books—you could start a collection, but their stuff was just as much yours. It was also the constant cause of your and Suho's fights; he was always jealous of you and them, completely unaware of the dynamic between the three of you. They'd been glued to your thigh for years, and the fact that you had a boyfriend wouldn't change that. Narrow-minded prick.
"I think you're right. Let's give it a go."
"My little darling." San gave a dazzling smile, showing off his dimples even more, and pressed your hand to his lips. God, Choi San was a real menace. It was hard to believe that this pretty cat in front of you was none other than the one who was caught many times having rough sex in the middle of the university library. Once, he was even caught in a threesome, but you didn't want to point the finger at Wooyoung for putting him up to it.
"Yeah, that's our girl." Wooyoung pressed his lips to your cheek once more, salivating as much as he could along the way.
"Jung Wooyoung!" You squealed, wiping the drool from your cheek in disgust, but Woo was already happily scurrying into the living room, laughing loudly.
"We'll look after you, chagi."
That was San's last sentence before he ran his tongue over your hand, licked his fingers like a cat, and ran after Woo with an evil giggle.
"Choi San, come back at once!"
You are going to have so much fun here. Too much fun for your own good.
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"Mmm… Peach, you are already awake." The soft touch of plump lips on your shoulder means that Wooyoung has woken up and wants to have your full attention.
"It has been some time. But I don't want to go anywhere. How are you feeling? Last night, when we came home, you and San were really drunk.
Wooyoung hugs you even tighter, nestling his face between your shoulder blades and taking a deep breath of your scent. Your skin is tickled by the tips of his long hair. A light touch on your lower back sends a jolt up your spine, making you arch slightly in his arms. Wooyoung is always like this; his defiant and needy attitude shouldn't be anything unusual for you, so you should stop reacting to him like this.
"Thank you for looking after us, peach. You're always so nice. Sannie and I don't deserve you." He kisses your neck. This time the touch lingers a little longer, and a feeling of excitement rises in your chest. "We haven't caused you any trouble, have we, little girl?" He purrs as he rubs his nose up against your shoulder. You couldn't help but notice how San's habits have become Wooyoung's habits, and vice versa. Now you have to put up with all that twin feline energy.
You turn to face him, and even after a night of sleeping with his hair tousled and without his usual cheeky grin, Wooyoung still looks pretty damn good. He's comfortable, a little sleepy, but no less seductive than he ever was. Woo has always had this sensual aura about him. Underneath the overt sexuality and the bitchy attitude, there was something else—something dark and seductive. You want to kiss him right now, so badly. Your hand runs through his silky hair, letting it fall in soft waves on either side of his face. Dark strands that are long enough to be pulled through easily. The world's handsomest boy.
It's all too easy to fall in love with him.
He kisses your palm playfully and pokes his nose into it like a cat hungry for affection, and you don't mind his purring with pleasure.
You wonder what he's going to sound like when he cums, God, you need to help yourself.
"Let me think." You run your fingers through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp. It's a deceptively gentle gesture before you pull hard on the roots of his hair, causing him to cry out in surprise.
"Oh, babe, why?" He purses his lips in offense, hoping you'll fall for his cute look. But you've known Wooyoung for years, and judging by the mischievous gleam in his eyes, he knew exactly what he was getting at.
"Firstly, you robbed me of my chance for great sex with your whining and dragging me home. Secondly, you behaved horribly when I tried to persuade you to take a shower and you kept me awake until the morning by clinging to me and fidgeting on the bed. Today I demand the royal treatment because you really messed up last night. This was not part of my plan for the prom at all."
Woo smiles back wickedly, practically baring his teeth in a wolfish grin.
"Peaches, are you really such a needy girl? Well, what are we going to do about it? San and I will have to do our best to make it up to you." He suddenly turns you over so that you are lying on your back, sandwiched between the mattress and his lithe body. Wooyoung is hovering over you, his hair falling all over your face, and you can't help but notice how sexy he looks in this position, which is annoying the hell out of you. He doesn't even have to try very hard to send you over the edge.
Strong hands are resting on the sides of your head, letting you enjoy the sight of the seductively bulging veins that run down his forearms. Fuck, you've always had a weakness for his hands, and who wouldn't when they look like this? Woo leans his head towards you until your noses touch, like a predator cornering his prey.
"Baby, I have my doubts that you'll be satisfied with anyone, so don't sulk. And you know Sannie and I will have to approve of someone running their fingers down your knickers." He smiles broadly at you, clearly enjoying your annoyance when you roll your eyes at him.
"Jung Wooyoung, stop it!" Your hand leaves an angry red mark on the bare skin of his chest, and he grunts. It will take all the patience in the world not to beat him to death or kiss him. "I swear I'll wash your mouth out with soap someday." Or maybe you'll lick him from the inside out. "And stop sticking your pretty little nose where you shouldn't. You don't have to worry about who I'm gonna fuck."
"So what if it bothers me? What are you going to do with it, Peach?" He bites his lips in anticipation and raises an eyebrow in expectation, as if he were challenging you to go on.
The way that smug look is on his face makes you feel a little pissed off. You get a little cocky and decide to use the same tactic he did. Wrapping your hands around his face, you're pulling him even closer, resting him on your forearms and your lips nearly touch. He has siren eyes that are deep and mesmerising, and the intensity of his gaze causes your cheeks to flush and you to bite down on your lower lip. The gleam in his fox eyes is proof that he is enjoying every second of your little game.
"Seonghwa kisses you like he's fucking your mouth with his tongue, it's fucking heaven and you can do whatever you want with that fact, baby. I would have ridden him like a stallion in front of everyone last night if it wasn't for you and San's drunken arses". You push him off of you, and Wooyoung rolls over to the other side of the bed as you sit up.
There's something in the air, and you feel you've said something wrong, judging by the way Wooyoung's eyes are flashing with an emotion you can't quite describe. It's a weird mix between anger, envy, desire and something else. But whatever it is, it is making your pussy clench in anticipation of it.
Damn, when did you start thinking with what's between your legs instead of your brain?
He stares at you intently, as if he's trying to decide whether he's going to scold you or fuck you senseless. As lust flashes through his languid onyx eyes like a shooting star, fast but unmistakable, and his pink tongue flicks out to wet his swollen lips, Wooyoung knows exactly what he's going to do to you.
You reach out to stroke his shoulder, and just as you expected, his skin is the most delicious shade of caramel. You can't help but want to run your tongue all over it.
Oh, shit. Now would be a good time to remind yourself: He's your best friend.
"Where`s San?" He asks you.
The expression on his face is, for the most part, neutral, with just a slight hint of lust and anticipation. He slowly licks his delicious lips and looks at you with bedroom eyes. You feel the warm moisture building up between your thighs. If he keeps looking at you like that, you're going to make a puddle of lust where you're sitting right now. You squeeze your thighs tighter to keep the liquid from dripping shamefully onto the bed, praying to all the gods that Wooyoung won't notice.
"I don't know. He wasn't in the bed when I woke up."
"Good."
What the hell is 'GOOD'? You need to collect your thoughts and leave this stuffy room, but the way Wooyoung's eyes slide over your body before, and slowly sucking his lower lip tells you there's nowhere to run. 
"Come to me, sweetheart; I want you in my arms." He is stroking himself on his thigh, the silk fabric of his pajamas leaving no room for imagination as it outlines the taut muscles of his gorgeous thighs. His legs are spread a little wider to draw your attention to where he wants you now, and you can clearly see the imprint of his thick dick through the fabric. Damn. It's completely hard, and you can't help but notice how big it is.
His actions send signals straight to the nerves that control your cunt. The wet heat is running between your legs and your arousal is increasing. A palpable shiver runs through all body as you squirm and writhe under the intensity of his gaze.
The rational part of you is literally beating in a hysterical frenzy. It's your hope that your stupid brain will realise the full implications of what's happening, and that you'll be able to put a stop to it. Even if the boundaries of your friendship were highly questionable, you were friends. While the evil voice in the back of your head was cheering you on: "C'mon, what's the bad that can happen?"
He was inviting you, and who were you to refuse? Not that you wanted to.
They'd go crazy if San and Wooyoung knew what thoughts and fantasies lived in your head every day. Huh. They had no idea their sweet chagia had such a dark and dirty mind. You take a deep breath.
Screw it.
You slowly crawl across the bed towards him. He watches you with a squinting, predatory look on his face until one of your legs has been thrown across his body and you're almost sitting on top of him. Almost, as your thighs struggle to keep you in that rigid position, but apparently Woo wasn't in the mood, and his broad palms force your hips down so you're sitting all the way in his lap. Before you realise what you're doing, you're pinned against his crotch, his hard cock touching your aching clit as you move against him, demanding physical stimulation. The contact was so good that it sent a shiver down your spine, and you almost moaned at the tiny moment of pleasure it gave you. Damn, it was massive—so thick you started salivating in your mouth. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You're up to your neck in shit. 
"There you are, starlight, in my hands." His voice, once so high and soft, was now hoarse and deep. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you even closer to him, so that there was hardly any space between the two of you. "Baby girl, are you still upset about Seonghwa?" It's a nickname he rarely uses, and it sends an electric shock through your lower abdomen, triggering a feeling you're not sure you can control right now. He leans in close to you and presses his wet lips against the side of your ear. "Tell me what I can do to stop you being angry with me."
"Kiss me, make me feel good." The evil little voice in the back of your head chimes in with glee. "Blow my brains out until my head feels empty and light." It says.
A whole new sensation takes over. Your body starts to heat up in anticipation of what is to come. Then the room will seem to shrink and the air will fill with a tension and a desire.
"I don't know. You've really pissed me off." You look up at him through your impossibly thick lashes, your lips in a fake pout. You weren't the innocent one; you could have played just as badly as they did. "You'll have to try harder, pretty boy." You let your finger nails run down the length of his neck. Wooyoung tilts his head back to reveal a chin line that could have been carved from the finest marble.
As his hands lazily caress your thighs, lifting your T-shirt higher and higher, your skin burns under his palms. Damn, he's scalding you.
The wetness between your legs is becoming more and more intense as the conversation goes on and on. Your juices seep through the thin lace of your panties, dripping from your pussy, leaving little dark streaks on the silk of his trousers where they touch your thighs. The air between you crackles with tension and desire; you feel yourself sweating; you're so hot and needy; and Wooyoung is no help at all.
His aura is one of dominance, and you swallow in anticipation. A storm is about to break and you don't want to be safe.
"I'll do whatever you want me to do for you, Y/N."
You're done for.
"Then kiss me, stupid boy, make me feel good."
He growls back at you, embracing you on the back of the head and practically forcing your faces together. The palm of his hand clenches possessively on the back of your neck with palpable pain, and the sound that comes out of you is something between a sob and a moan. With the sudden movement, you feel yourself pressing even harder against his dick, and it sends a pleasurable pulse through your clit.
Wooyoung presses his forehead against yours and your lips are just a breath away from each other.
You stare back at him without blinking. His eyes are half closed as he watches you in silence, like a tiger stalking its prey, ready to pounce with its jaws clenched. It is in a low, dangerously calm tone that he speaks. "Are you sure this is what you want to do, baby girl? I'm biting." It's mixed with your sighing and seductive lips, and you can barely make out the words.
"P-please…"
His moan is loud, guttural, and mildly painful, and then…
O MY GOD.
Those soft lips are pressed hard against yours in an urgent, hungry kiss. His mouth is insistent and demanding, his thumb digging into the skin of your neck, turning the touch into a rough grip, and his tongue gliding along the bottom of your lip. Slowly, as he pulls your lips apart, he moves in quickly, and you shudder at the sensual sensation as he runs his tongue over the roof of your mouth and licks your teeth. It should have been dirty and rough, but instead you find yourself moaning with wanton need.
"Wooyoung..." The moan of his name was so desperate, so needy, so full of lust and desire.
"Goddamn, I love it when you say my name."
He kisses you with renewed ferocity, biting your lips almost to the point of bleeding. Wooyoung is too passionate; he licks your mouth with his tongue, and literally shoves it down your throat. He kisses you like he's dying of thirst and you're the only way to make him drink. Spittle runs down your chin, it's wet and dirty, but you can't stop, you don't want to stop. Wooyoung's tongue is practically fucking you in the mouth.
And God, you want more. It feels unreal, too extreme to be a reasonable response to a kiss, the heat between your legs, your clit throbbing with need, your nerves on fire.
Wooyoung lets go of you for a moment and you stare at him with your eyes wide open. Your heart is pounding wildly and your breathing is so ragged that you're practically choking to death. Licking away any remnants of the kiss you shared, his wet pink tongue pokes out from between his plump lips.
His hand slides down your face, cupping your chin and tilting your head slightly so that your eyes meet his, his gaze clouded with lust as if his fingers were digging deep inside you. You can't say a word as a wicked smile spreads across his sharp, enchanting face.
Now you have a better understanding of all those damsels who are ready to spread their legs at the flick of his fingers.
"Tell me you want more, baby. I have a feeling this apology isn't enough. I need to do more than that. I'm so desperate for forgiveness.
"Don't I need to be forgiven too, Woo? You shouldn't be so greedy. That voice, oh shit.
You turn sharply around and find yourself staring into San's beautiful cat eyes. He's so damn good-looking you swallow a groan. It must be illegal for someone to look this good in normal jeans and a plain black shirt. But San had a body worth dying over.
A real girl's dinner.
What the hell are you going to do now? How long had he stayed there?
"San-ah… how…" You find yourself stuttering. Your mouth dries up and you can't utter a word, but even if you could, your brain can't form coherent thoughts. You can't bring yourself to look away from him, and something deep inside you knows that he will punish you if you try.
"What is it, Gongjunim? Did the cat eat your tongue?" He raises an eyebrow at you, a shit-eating grin playing at the corners of his lips. As if in mockery, his soft, patronising tone of voice slides over your skin. San combines a sensual, gentle nature with a seductive one that makes you feel he's looking for a weakness before pouncing. His fucking duality. One moment he's a little sweetheart, the next he's a lecherous demon who wants to sink his teeth into your throat and devour you. "Come on, Chagia, I promise I won't disappoint you; I'm very good at excuses."
Responding to his sultry purr, your pussy clenches shamefacedly.
The excitement of it all makes your brain feel like mush and sets your skin on fire.
You start squirming in Wooyoung's arms, and now that San's here, you belatedly realise what you've gotten yourself into. Is it time for a change of scenery or something? No, you want to stay. Desperately.
You need them to blow your brains out, to make you dumb and submissive and a pretty little toy for them to play with. Sometimes you have to stop before you cross the line, but where is the line when you're literally sitting on your best friend's hard cock?
Hell, you don't know what you're supposed to do - run or beg - but you clearly know what they want to do to you, judging by Wooyoung's dick twitching between your thighs and San slowly licking his lips as he looks at your bare ass peeking out from under your shirt. His shirt.
There must be some kind of telepathic connection between Wooyoung and San. After a few seconds of intense eye contact, San pulls his T-shirt over his head, tosses it aside and slowly walks over to you. The grin on his face seems to have changed; it has become even darker than before. Hungrier.
And you don't think this is a good time to start drooling. But damn it, you want to lick him from head to toe.
Between the three of you, there's a chaos of emotion and desire. It's mixed with adrenaline and a distant fear of what's going to happen. There has to be an end to this game of predator and prey, and why not do it now? Sighing, you finally give in.
In the morning, you'll consider the consequences.
"Maybe you should kiss me too, San-ah, and I'll start thinking about forgiving.
Hot lips instantly press an open, wet kiss to your shoulder. The bed buckles under the weight of another man's body. San's strong arms are wrapped around your waist and his fingers clench your t-shirt into a fist. He's hot, warm and hard, and you can feel the hardness of his dick through your trousers as he presses down hard against you. His mouth is sucking, biting and licking your skin as if his life depended on it. Sharing an understanding look with Wooyoung, San slides his lips higher up your body.
"Sannie…" Before planting a hot kiss on your neck, you whimper as his teeth sink into your sensitive flesh.
The moan that comes from the back of your throat is so deep that for a moment you wonder if it's coming from you at all.
Pure pleasure shoots through you as you feel Woo's long tongue on the other side of your neck. He lets out the sexiest moan deep in his throat, as if he's having the time of his life, savouring every second of the way his lips explore the nape of your neck. You're distracted. Your eyes roll back in pleasure as he pulls the skin between his lips, leaving a purple hickey on the back of your neck.
"Oh, my God, boys."
"That's my darling, Chagia." His voice is sultry and seductive, and you can clearly hear the saturi again, as it tends to do at times when San is in a highly aroused state.
"You're so beautiful, my peach." Wooyoung whispers to you, and you just melt away completely.
You whimper as Woo begins to run his hands up and down your thighs and arse, squeezing and pulling. He mooed softly as you made little circular movements with your hips and rubbed his cock against you. Woo punishes you by slapping your bottom if you cuddle too hard. You'll need to be obedient as they play with you.
The sound fills the room along with the collective moaning of Wooyoung's and San's.
"What a dirty little girl you are. I think you need to be taught how to obey." Woo spanks you a few more times and you wiggle your hips in an impatient way.
It feels so good.
San pulls your t-shirt up to your breasts while all your attention is focused on Wooyoung. Your little thong is completely transparent and does nothing to hide your sex or the excitement building within you. They are practically digging into your needy pussy because of the position you are now in. A chorus of gasps and moans can be heard from your best friends as their eyes focus on that big, wet spot. San's greedy hands press you even closer to his body, so that you can feel his full erection on top of your plump, bare bum.
"You're so fucking wet." Wooyoung hisses. "Like a bitch leaking just thinking about our cocks in your tight little cunt. We'll destroy you, Peach."
Before you realise what's happening, Woo's hands slide down your back, your nipples tensing in the cool open air. The soft fabric of your t-shirt falls to the floor, and suddenly, hot wetness envelops your left nipple and he sucks hard on it, the pressure causing pain that turns to pleasure as his tongue touches the hard bud. Your head immediately falls back onto San's shoulder as you open the soft space of your throat to his insatiable mouth. You let out a long groan, and your hand rests on Wooyoung's head, tugging lightly at the soft lengths of his hair.
You feel like you could explode at any moment, even though they haven't done anything to you yet. You're burning, almost feverish, as the growing fire between your thighs reaches unbearable levels. You can't breathe; your skin is hypersensitive. Your head tilts to the side, and you whimper San's name in the most pathetic intonation possible. His hand slides lower and lower, past your waist and your stomach, to the place where you most want to feel him. It hasn't even come close to touching your pussy yet, but the thought of it is enough to make you squirm with excitement.
His hands move down low enough to touch the skin of your naked legs and up slowly, frantically, until he reaches where you are starting to get aroused. The palm of his hand encircles your pussy in a possessive way, the small mound of flesh lying so perfectly in the palm of his hand. You tremble a little at this, and try to spread your legs wider so that his fingers can rub against the moist slit, so that he can dive in between the warm folds until your pussy spreads out beautifully for him, so that he can rub your clit with ease.
"Mmm… what a wet little thing. I bet my Gongjunim has the most beautiful pussy I have ever seen in my life. Fleshy, shiny, and pink - just the way I like it. He gasps for breath. He puts his hands on your hips and rubs his hard cock against the curve of your ass a couple of times. "Do you feel that, Chagia? No one can make me as hard as you can." On your skin, his breath feels like fire. Hoping for a little more friction, you arch your backside. The gesture reveals a hiss from his side.
San's fingers, one tempting back and forth with a feathery touch, spread the excitement building in your slit beneath the thin material. Your pussy clenches around nothing at all in the most uncomfortable way, and you know that he can feel it.
"Do you like this chagi? Wooyoung's mouth on your full, pretty tits? My fingers on your sweet little snatch?" San's tone is almost mocking. His tongue is licking his lips; his fingers continue to stroke your clothed pussy in a leisurely manner; and he watches intently as Wooyoung literally chokes on your breasts. "We are gonna fuck you until you squeal like the slutty little bitch you are." He growls into your ear, and the sound of it makes you pull on Woo's hair with all your might.
And you always had the impression that Wooyoung's mouth was dirty.
A soft moan slips out of the brunette's swollen lips, which are now wrapped so tightly around your nipple that you're sure they're going to leave a mark on it. As he pulls back with an audible pop, you let out a small sound as you look at his ecstatic face. His eyes are half closed, his eyelids flutter slightly and a beautiful flush of colour has appeared on his cheeks. His plump lips are glistening with the saliva and the service he is giving to your tits.
"Are you feeling good, peach?" He chuckles weakly as he watches you fall apart in San's skilled hands, leaving you as beautiful as ever in his eyes. Woo gives your nipple a hard pinch, only to then let his tongue run over it. The sudden change in sensation causes your head to begin to spin, and you let out a loud moan of pleasure.
"Please… I need… more… Youngiee." You stammer out the words, your voice shaking and your body trembling.
"You look so pretty when you beg. But do you want to know something, сhagi? You'll look even more beautiful with your cunt stretched around my dick. I will ravage your tiny pussy, Gongjunim. I'm going to make you mine." San finally kisses you; though it's hard to call it a kiss, he dives into your lips like a hungry man, sucking them so deeply and passionately, with an insistence that you don't even think you'll ever understand.
His tongue is merciless as he explores every millimeter of the inside of your mouth. This kiss is heavenly, and with every second that passes, you find yourself wanting more, wanting him to spoil you in every way that he can. To have his way with you until you have no more patience. And it is these thoughts that make you wriggle in Wooyoung's arms. You try to rub your thighs together, hoping to relieve the unbearable heat inside you.
"The taste is so damn good."
You can feel Woo squeezing your breasts almost in sync, his warm tongue sliding over the plump flesh once more, licking at the aroused nipples, and his teeth scratching the sensitive skin with the lightest of touches. You savour the lightning bolts of pleasure that the two of them cause to bounce around your body. It's almost painful, but you know you're loving this.
Half gasping, half squealing at the sheer, blunt pressure of San's nimble, kneading fingers finding their way to your labia through the mesh of the thong. Your lower abdomen clenches in a reflexive spasm, and your hands are sticky with sweat as you grasp the wrist of his hand.
"Oh, your pussy is so sensitive, isn't it, Chagia?" San cooed with feigned tenderness, and with a strange sadism, he pressed his middle finger against your cunt, sliding it right over the spot where your clit was, causing your hips to shake. The lubrication of your arousal made it much more effective for him to stimulate you, and he would literally bring you to orgasm with minimal effort. He purred softly as you responded, like a big cat purring, and just when you thought he couldn't fuck with your sanity even more, he turned his head and spat on your lips, a glob of saliva dribbling into your open mouth and you choked out a moan.
It's so rough and dirty, but your body responds the best it can, arching into his arms and pressing your breasts even harder against Wooyoung's face.
The brunette moans in response and lifts his foxy eyes to you. You can see the corner of his lips curl into a smirk before he bites down hard on your nipple. Fuck, your life will never be the same. And they haven't even got around to fucking you properly yet. It's like heaven and hell at the same time.
"I want to hear you whimper, Gongjunim." San's hand grips the back of your neck very tightly, causing you to gasp for breath from the sudden lack of air. Your eyes begin to roll up at the possessive touch of his hand on your throat, and you begin to jerk your hips, your clit pressing against Wooyoung's cock, and he lets out a long, hard moan.
"Please, Sannie." You're breathing out.
"Look at her, San, our girl, slobbering like a brainless slut." Wooyoung wipes the viscous saliva from your parted lips, then pushes his fingers into your mouth with a sharp, deep thrust. For a second you choke and begin to gurgle around the long phalanges.
He hadn't removed the rings yesterday and now the heavy metal makes your tongue feel cold. "Think of the way my dick is fucking your little throat, starlight. Suck it hard." You wheeze and gurgle, your saliva bubbling at the corners of your lips, but you have done exactly as you have been told.
It was rough, it was horrible and it was so wet that it was almost disgusting to watch. But Woo enjoyed it; he literally raped your mouth with his fingers in a sort of sadistic sense. A few thick strands of saliva would stick to your swollen lips as he pulled his fingers out of your mouth.
"Look at you. Taking my fingers in your mouth like that. Such a good girl."
This whole game has been nothing more than a distraction from the main action. There's a short circuit in your body as a sharp sensation pierces every nerve in your body. San suddenly slaps you hard on your wet pussy, the contact sending sparks of pain and pleasure flying across your skin, and you let out a squeal.
"Oh my God. Oh, my God. I'm going to… I'm going to…" You go over the edge as you feel your juices pouring down your legs, your vaginal muscles contracting, forcing more fluid to pour out of you, the combination of their names coming weakly from your lips as your orgasm washes over your weakened limbs.
"Fuck, Peach is so hot… You're squirting." You belatedly realise that Wooyoung is also cumming as he throws his head back in pleasure, his eyes rolling up and his mouth opening in a long, whimpering moan.
You can hardly catch your breath when you feel San rest his chin on your shoulder, his grip tightening around you, whispering in your ear.
"One more gongjunim; give me one more orgasm and then I'll caress you."
"Ah, San." The searing sensation of his fingers roughly pinching your clit through the wet material of your thong causes you to cry out hoarsely in agony. The sound of your wet, sensitive cunt splashing was clear and vivid; the sensation was brutal, but so indescribable you were ready to faint from pleasure.
He's going to tear you apart.
"Cum for me, Chagia. I know you can do it. Sperm for us; make Youngie and me proud of you".
Your eyes rolled back in your head and you swore that your cunt was on fire, your whole body shuddering in electrifying spasms of pleasure that made your toes curl up and your thighs shake. San's hand was still firmly around your throat, holding your head upright as you had your orgasm.
It had shattered you so badly that the fall seemed dramatic, and you went completely limp as the orgasm dissipated, turning you into an inconsolable, whimpering, disorderly mass.
They had blown your brains out.
"There you are, Gongjunim, I got you. You did so well." San muttered, but your mind was too tired to admit it. Amused at how angry and lost you looked, you saw stars as Wooyoung's hand tilted your head to the side in a teasing way to look at your confused face.
"You're no longer angry with us, are you, Peach?"
San removes his hand from your throat and allows Wooyoung to pull your face up to his own. Gentle fingers caress your cheekbones and soft lips wipe away the tears rolling down your cheeks. At one point, you didn't even realise you were crying. It's such a contrast to his previous behaviour; here he is your usual adored Jung Wooyoung, a little clingy, a little annoying and with an unrealistic maternal instinct. Your best friend.
Fuck. Now it is time for you to start crying for the real time. You begin to sob, pushing Wooyoung away from you in a desperate attempt to get out of his arms. You can feel the wetness underneath you and it makes you feel worse and worse. You need to get out of here now. Your behaviour frightens them to death and San's hands are on your body again, squeezing your shoulders gently.
"Stop, stop for a second, Y/N. It's all right, Chagia. We have you."
You freeze at the sound of your name, like a deer caught in the headlights.
In anticipation of his next move, your whole body tenses like a string. Wooyoung's fingers intertwine with yours. It's a familiar gesture, so familiar to you, so ordinary, so perfected over the years of your friendship. San lets you go when he realises you're not going anywhere, and his face comes to rest next to Wooyoung's as you look at him.
He's handsome, too, to the point of madness, and trembles at the knees. His cheeks are flushed. There's still a lingering gleam of lust and excitement in his eyes, but with a touch of strange emotion. His plush lips are soft and swollen from all the kissing, and his body glistens with sweat. And the reason he looks like that is because of you. You look at Wooyoung and see that he looks exactly the same, but the emotion in his eyes is more obvious than ever.
You want to crawl off his lap and cower in shame in the corner of the room so you don't have to look at all that tenderness and loveliness in his foxy eyes. You can handle his cheeky, flirtatious backside with ease, but this kind of Wooyoung is new territory for you.
"We… shit. This shouldn't have happened. This is the first rational thought to come out of your mouth all day. And you should have said it a lot sooner, before your two best friends made you cum twice with a squirting orgasm.
"Chagia, I think there's something we need to talk about, but first let's get you back to your normal self."
You don't argue; just nod and realize that San is absolutely right. You look like a complete mess, covered in saliva and lubricant. You can feel Wooyoung's cum seeping through the fabric of his pajama bottoms and drying on the inside of your thigh.
You look fucked.
"Yes, I think we have a lot to talk about."
It sounds terribly stupid, but what else can you say? Can we forget it? Or can we fuck again?
All your years of sexual longing for them have turned into a resounding slap in your face.
"Go take a bath, Peach, and we'll talk. San and I will take care of the rest."
For some reason, this sentence gave you a vague feeling of déjà vu. But you pushed the thought out of your head as quickly as it had come.
"Okay."
You finally slide off Wooyoung's lap, ignoring their stares at your almost naked body, there's no point in covering up or acting like a shy maiden, San's fingertips were rubbing your pussy just five minutes ago, bringing you to some kind of crazy orgasm, and the entire lower half of Woo's body is drenched in your secretions. If you've ever wanted to imagine how your friendship would turn out, this is it.
You trudge to the bathroom on your tired legs, pulling off your disgustingly wet thong on the way and throwing it on the floor. You turn on the light, turn on the tap and the whole room is immediately filled with the warm steam of hot water. Outside the door you can hear the muffled voices of the boys, who seem to be having some sort of heated argument, judging by San's irritated moaning and Wooyoung's loud whining.
You don't want to go into details; you still have time to destroy yourself. Your eyes catch sight of your reflection in the mirror. Tomorrow has come much earlier for you, if the fucked-up look on your face is any indication. Dishevelled hair, hickey marks, bruises and swollen lips from biting. What a beautiful morning after graduation!
"Wooyoung, you should have waited for me." San's voice is much louder now.
"As if I'm the only one who fucked her. Don't try to tell me it's all my fault."
You still don't want to join the conversation.
A pink, glistening puddle of something that smells like candy spreads across the bathtub. Thanks to Mingi, you have a whole collection of these colourful bombs. He's always had a soft spot for all things cute and charming, and he's taken every opportunity to spoil you to death with them.
With a tired sigh, you take another look at yourself in the mirror. So, Peach, are you ready for the consequences?
Turning away from your reflection, you lock the door with a click.
859 notes · View notes
sednas · 1 year
Text
─ TAKE YOU LIKE A DRUG I TASTE YOU ON MY TONGUE.
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FT. toji fushiguro x fem!reader featuring my daddy issues
TW. dd/lg, half mean half gentle!toji, sub!reader, daddy issues, thigh riding, oral (m receiving), slight dumbification, praise and degradation, public s!x (at first), creampie, p!ssy slapping (once), 2k+ words
♡♡♡. sorry for the potential typos/ugly sentences, it's been a long day but i really wanted to post this
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you met toji during the first semester of college, when your parents moved out to get closer to the place where you were studying.
it all started out innocent. quick glances, lingering hands on the skin, a few smirks and playful winks, smalltalk about college and work...
he was tall, dark hair, deep green eyes, a scar on the corner of his lips, big hands, broad shoulders, strong thighs...
every time you'd come back home for the weekends you expected him to finally have settled down with one of the numerous women in the neighborhood, all salivating over him.
but he stayed single, and you could fantasize about him without the annoying thought of his pretty wife sucking him off. as years went by, your crush on him got pretty obvious, you became more confident, trying to give him the hint that he could do whatever he wanted with you. but toji was blind to your signs, or at least that's what he was pretending to be.
his ignorance toward you left a bittersweet taste on your tongue, putting you as nothing more than the plain daughter of his neighbor, and you felt like fifteen again, ignored by the boy you liked.
which brings us to tonight, a few days after your graduation. you came back to your parent's place and you can't seem to sleep, sitting on the grass, you look up at the stars and think of all the things that are awaiting for you now that you're done with college. it's scary and exciting at the same time. you'll be leaving the city for your dream job soon, and there's only one regret that comes to your mind.
“beautiful night uh?” you hear a deep voice coming from the darkness of the night. speaking of the devil... it's toji, he just sat down on a chair a few meters away from you in the neighborhood's common garden, he has a drink in his hand, you can't tell what's in it but it's probably alcohol.
“I've heard that you graduated. I always knew you were a smart girl, your parents must be proud of you.” he says, his green eyes lazily resting on you.
you shrugged your shoulders, still sitting on the grass.
“my dad barely said that he was proud of me...” you laugh bitterly. why are you even talking about this? he doesn't care, he just wants to make a quick small talk.
a few seconds of silence go by... you see toji moving, patting the seat next to him. it's... unexpected, but you can't let go of such an occasion to be closer to him, and without a word you go sit down. he extends his legs with a sigh. your eyes linger on him in a not so subtle manner. he's wearing a black tank top with gray baggy sweatpants.
“your dad's just not great with words, I'm sure he's very proud of you.”
you don't say anything, not trusting your voice right now, feeling like a lost little girl even though you're past twenties. he must surely pity you by now, and you hate it.
“do you need to hear it?”
“what do you mean?” you ask, arching an eyebrow, and you see him shift on his seat until he's facing you, your knees touching.
“alright... gimme your hands.” he says, and even though it's an order his voice is soft and reassuring. you obey, putting your hands in his. the skin of his hands is calloused, you can tell he's been working with them all of his life.
you can feel your heart beating faster and harder inside your chest, unsure of what you're going to do once he will speak. you're so close to him, of course you already had conversations with him, but this one feels too intimate, both of you alone in the darkness of the night... anything could happen.
“I'm very proud of you. you told me before that you were anxious about the future but I'm sure it will all turn out to be okay. you've got that light in your eyes, I'm not quite sure how to describe it but it's bright and I know you'll make a good use of it.” he finally says and for a few seconds you both drown in a silence where you can only hear the sound of crickets.
within a second, your lips crash into his as he lets out a surprised moan which comes out muffled, feeling your soft hands running down on his forearms, sending shivers down his spine.
“what the fuck are you doing?” he finally asks, pulling away from you. your heart stops for a second, hearing him raise his voice at you, but he unexpectedly pulls you in for another kiss, his hand snaking up behind your neck and this time you're the one moaning against his mouth.
“been wanting you for so damn long.” he mumbles as he deepens the kiss, his tongue slipping between your lips and making you feel empty brained. you clutch on his chest, heart fluttering to his words.
“re-really? I thought you didn't like me...” you can't believe what you're hearing, your body trembles slightly as toji kisses your neck and nods his head.
“how could I not like such a sweet girl like you.” he purred in a low, baritone voice, his hands slowly sliding down your waist to guide you on his lap, letting you feel how hard he is against you.
you let out a gasp when you feel him start to rock your hips on his thigh, his green eyes piercing through yours. “you think I didn't notice the way you were looking at me for all those years. how your outfits got sluttier just to have a crumble of my attention uh? just imagine how many times I've fucked myself imagining you taking my cock like the good girl I know you fucking are.”
you moan, feeling pure bliss at this revelation as his big hands keep forcing you to hump his thigh. you can feel your pussy getting dragged all the way up and down his clothed hard cock, giving you a hint of how big it is. both of you moan when your pussy lips engulf his tip through your shorts and soon enough a wet spot starts to form on his sweatpants.
“fucking hell Y/N, look at you... I don't know how I resisted fucking you for so long when your body is that perfect to play with. fuck!- but I'm done holding back, I'm gonna fucking ruin you.” he grunts, his voice still low and dominant, his fingers digging into your plump skin.
the fact that you're in the neighborhood's common garden is already long forgotten, you don't care about the whole city seeing you in this position, you've wanted this for too long. your pussy is throbbing, the soft material of his pants rubbing deliciously against your hardened clitoris, your tongue almost comes out of your mouth while toji watches your dumb expression with delight.
“gonna cum... I'm... I'm...” your whiney voice echoes through the silent night and toji bounces and flexes his thigh on purpose, taking you over the edge as he whispers praises against your ear. you come in a muffled cry, biting toji's shoulder to silence your cute moans.
toji gives you a few minutes to rest, caressing your hair and giving your thighs reassuring strokes every time he feels your body twitch on top of him. in a gentle gesture, he takes your chin in his hand to look at your face.
“let's go to my room yeah? I want to give you more.” you can only nod your head as you both leave the garden and head over to his house. the whole place is plunged in darkness and you follow him closely not to trip over anything, your arm wrapped around his own in a clingy way while he guides you to his bed.
he gets on top of you, removing your shorts and your top in a fast motion, so smoothly that you barely notice that you're now half naked under him. you suddenly feel shy under his warm gaze which devours your body and you turn your head to avoid his eyes.
“don't turn all shy now sweetheart, your body is a work of art.” he murmurs, his hot breath tickling your skin before kissing your neck. his hands travel up to your chest, playing with your tits and gently pinching your nipples.
“ahh~ please, daddy...” you whine without thinking, and toji suddenly stops what he's doing, lifting his head to look into your eyes. his pupils are dilated, his gaze darkened by lust and need. you can feel him squeeze your skin a little bit harder than before, and you whine again.
“is it true? am I your daddy?” he teases, bringing his hand close to your inner thighs, caressing them with the tip of his digits. his cock never ached to be inside someone like this, he can feel it twitch and throb inside his pants, begging to know how your little pussy feels like.
“yes, yes you are, please daddy, I need you... want you to feel good too...” you beg, your hands clutching on his chest once again, trying to remove his clothes but it's no easy task in your position and with how your body is trembling.
toji wears a boyish smirk at your words, thinking about how cute you look and sound right now. he brings his face close to yours, his lips only a few inches away from your open mouth. “yeah? do you want to make daddy feel good?” and he smiles when you nod eagerly. he stands up, gently dragging you toward the edge of the bed, letting your head suspended in the air.
“alright, you know what's coming next, don't you baby?” as an answer, you open your mouth, presenting your tongue and waiting for him. he huffs with amusement at your hunger, finally freeing his cock and sighing of relief. he taps the tip against your tongue, smearing your saliva all over it. before you can whine with impatience he pushes it right in, sliding his entire length down your throat in one smooth motion of his hips.
“god... I wonder if your pussy is as tight as your throat...” toji groans, biting his bottom lip to prevent any slutty moans to come out of him. your greedy tongue swirls around his leaking tip, and you moan whenever you feel a vein drags along the curves of your lips.
you feel light headed, with your head hanging in the air, half naked in the bed of the man you like, his balls slapping against your face. he lets out a moan, watching your tits bounce and the buldge that his cock is forming inside your throat, his eyes roll back, one more minute and he's going to cum down your throat.
he makes you choke on his cock one last time before pulling out, the action earning a disappointed whimper from you. “don't whine you baby.” he warns with a smug look on his face, manhandling once more to put you on your back.
“but I...” he hushed you by slapping your clothed cunt and tears immediately start to form in the corner of your eyes and he almost regrets what he just did, seeing your teary expression.
“it's okay baby. just be a good girl and let me do what I want with you, you're gonna like it I promise.” you nod as he massages your pussy, and once you say “yes daddy” he's a goner, tearing your panties apart, he presses his cock against your puffy clit, making you jolt under him.
he lifts your hips and enters you in one second, your wetness immediately coating his cock, making it easier for him to sink deep inside you. “good... good... how do you feel so fucking good...” toji rambles in his low voice, and it makes you spread your legs wider. you don't know when he removed his clothes but he's as naked as you now, you almost whimper at the sight, wrapping your legs around his slutty waist.
“does that feel good baby?... fuck, you look so dumb right now.” he chuckles darkly, his big hand gently slapping your cheek before holding your whole face in it. you try to get your half lidded eyes to focus on his face, with his dark hair adorning his facial features and his eyes shining with lust as his cock keeps reaching deep for that spongy spot inside you. it's too much for you to handle.
you start babbling incoherent words, all interrupted by whines as your head falls on the pillows. his bedsheets smell like him, it almost makes you feel tipsy, drunk on his strong, masculine scent. you want to stay here forever, drowned in him. “daddy, daddy...” you keep repeating, your legs quivering as he towers you, his arms caging your face.
toji smiles, kissing your cheek as his thrusts keep getting faster and faster. “you're such a good girl, taking my cock like the good little whore that you are... ah fuck-!” he curses, feeling your hands clawing at his back. he looks at your face, feeling his cock twitches at the sight.
“I'm... I'm gonna cum again...” you try to speak, your eyes rolling back as his mushroom tip pushes against your cervix, making you arch your back and see stars.
“let it all go for me Y/N, I'm here for you.” just what you needed to hear. you whimper a weak “daddy” one last time as shockwaves of pleasure run through your body, your pussy spasming and throbbing around his cock. your vision goes blank, all you can hear is the voice of toji throwing praises at you against your ear while he tries his best not to lose his mind to the feeling of you gushing all over him.
“good girl... you really do have the best pussy god damn it...” the rest of his sentence is just a gasp, his hands shaking slightly as he can feel himself getting closer and closer to his own release.
“breed me... daddy. please breed me...” you manage to plead through your hazy state and who is he to deny you when you asked so sweetly? with his hands firmly gripping your waist he cums deep inside you, releasing a string of moans that sounds like music to your ears.
you feel so full once he's done, your body still twitching under him as he finally comes down from his high, and the first thing he does is to pepper your face with kisses, sweetly humming when he feels you running your hands through his hair.
“good fucking god... I don't think I've ever been so turned on in my life...” he sighs, laughing a little and falling on his back next to you. he reaches out for your hand, kissing the back of it. it must be a dream, how are you still not waking up?...
“I really meant what I said earlier. I'm proud of you... you took that cock so well...” he laughs in a low voice when you gently hit his chest, his right arm circling around your waist to bring you closer to his body.
“no but for real... I'm proud of you, I'll give you all the love you deserve.”
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bunnylovesani · 5 months
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Daddy Issues
(This is what I imagine him looking like in this fic)
Content warnings: MDNI, reader has daddy issues, 20 year age gap, Anakin is your best friend’s dad, drinking, fingering, dirty talk, general smut with a bit of fluff
WC: 2.6k
You and Leia met in your first year of college and your friendship quickly blossomed. Despite being from the same town, you’d never bumped into each other. If you had, you’re sure you would’ve remembered him. The first time you’d met him was Christmas, 4 years ago; it was your first time coming round to the Skywalker residence and all you knew was that Leia was raised by a single dad, who was now in his 40s. The moment you laid eyes on him, you were fascinated. He had dark blonde hair which curled into golden ringlets at the ends and a mysterious quality about him you were sure made the women weak at the knees- how he’d managed to stay single for most of his life was beyond you.
Despite your fervent initial attraction to him, you tried your best to put all of it aside. Besides the obvious reasons to restrain yourself, he was also the first positive male figure you’d had in your life. He was a damn good father; always present in Leia’s life and, since you two were joined at the hip, by extension yours too. You ignored every sign, every impulse, every sizzling moment of tension that came between you two- tension you naturally assumed was one sided- he’s a decent, respectable man after all.
You had it all under control- until you received a call confirming the graduate program you’d applied for months ago had been accepted. The subsequent week was spent getting daydrunk while hesitantly packing your entire life into a van full of brown boxes- or rather, directing Leia to do it for you since you were too inebriated. It all boiled down to your final night; one last night in the suburbs you’d felt suffocated by your entire life before you moved to the big city to start your shiny new life.
So why did you feel sad? You suspected you knew the reason but spent the better half of an evening denying it and battling the growing urge to pay him a visit. Eventually, when the reality that you were about to leave him forever sunk in, you found your feet taking you out the door of their own volition. Preparing to ambush him with the help of some liquid courage you’d choked down prior to leaving, you rung the doorbell of his house for what you thought may be the last time.
“Oh, hey honey. Leia just left to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house, you just missed her. I thought you’d already said your goodbyes?”. He innocently questions as he opens the door and lets you in.
“I know, it’s you I came to say goodbye to.” You say anxiously, staring at him intensely through your lashes.
“I see, I’m honoured.” He smiles and approaches you, pulling you into a hug. “Good luck with everything sweetheart, stay safe and above all- remember to have fun! Life passes you by in an instant and one day you’ll wake up as old as I am and kick yourself for not grabbing every opportunity you had.”
“Funny you say that, Sir. That’s the exact mantra I’ve adopted recently. Fuck it, right?” You help yourself to the glass of whiskey he was holding out of his hand and take a sip.
“Can I sit with you for a little while?” You plop onto his cushioned couch before he can reply.
“Erm, yeah of course, make yourself at home.” He says welcomingly, though with a perplexed expression on his slightly wrinkled face. “Are you okay?” He wonders if there’s a reason you’re acting so strange. You don’t usually drink.
“I’m great, thank you Sir.” You bat your lashes. “Just feeling sentimental with the circumstances and all.”
“How many times have I said, call me Anakin. I know I’m old but after so many years I’d say we’re on a first name basis.” He chuckles, taking a seat beside you on the sofa, keeping a respectable distance. “I know I’m nothing much to you but I really do think of you and Leia as my girls. I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.” He says endearingly, smiling at you kindly.
That’s when you’re reminded of the reason you came here tonight. You had every intention of telling him how you truly felt, how you’d had a raging crush on him from the moment you met him- and now that you might never see him again, you saw no reason why you shouldn’t act on those feelings.
But hearing him compare you to his daughter filled a hole you felt inside you ever since your father abandoned you- while simultaneously making you feel sick to your stomach.
You stared into his warm eyes, encased with crows feet and accompanied by two prominent creases on his forehead. You shouldn’t find a man of his age so attractive but you do.
“You know, I don’t think you’re old.” You state simply.
“What?” He asks somewhat confused by your meaning.
“You said one day I’ll wake up as old as you. I don’t think you’re old at all. If anything, you’re in your prime.” You look away. “You’re not nothing to me either.”
He looks visibly stunned, though he tries to mask it by refilling a glass of whiskey, the brown liquid almost spilling everywhere.
“Right back at you, kid. Well I’m sure you’ve got a lot of packing to do so I won’t keep you. You need a ride?” He shuffles in his seat.
“No. Not the kind of ride you’re thinking of anyway.” A wave of boldness overcomes you and you feel the alcohol burning through your veins as you shuffle closer to him.
“Uh, I think that whiskey’s gone straight to your head. Why don’t I get you some water?” He’s about to get up but you grab him by the hand and force him to stay seated, holding onto it longer than necessary.
“You know how I feel about you Anakin. I know you know.” You stare deep into his mature blue eyes as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down with an apprehensive gulp.
“Now that’s enough young lady. You absolutely should not be thinking about me in that way. I’m almost twice your age.” He sternly warns you and you can’t help but wince. The way he’s scolding you is triggering some deep rooted daddy issues. You knew you always had them to some extent but you never knew just how bad they were until you met Anakin.
“I dont mean to make you uncomfortable, I just couldn’t hold it back anymore. I’ll leave right now if you want me to, you’ll never see me again. Just tell me you don’t feel anything towards me and I’ll be on my way.” You’re huddled over him with your legs on the sofa, hand slowly inching its way towards his thigh.
A flash of conflicting emotions run through his eyes- he’s obviously embarrassed, perhaps shocked - though you find it hard to believe he had no clue at all- but there’s something else. He’s debating with himself, you can see the cogs whirring in his mind.
“I can’t say that.” He meets your gaze. “I care about you a lot, you know that. Which is why you need to leave. You’re not in the right state of mind.” He gets up again but you pull him down and climb onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“I have been in love with you for 4 years, Anakin. You are my every waking thought. I know it’s wrong and you’d never be with me but I can’t control myself. If I can’t have you forever, let me have just this one night- please.” You wait for him to object to the way you’re sitting on him but to your surprise, he doesn’t.
“Alright, honey.” He grumbles softly after a little while, looking at you with a subdued expression that conveyed both concern and understanding. “Alright, if that’s what you want, I’ll give you what you want. I’m yours for the night.”
You sit there, stunned. You were fully expecting him to kick you out of the house and tell Leia everything. You were expecting anything other than him giving in. Is he just taking pity on you and thinks this will help you get over your daddy issues? He knows you have them. Or is he as sick and twisted as you are?
“Can…can I…” You lean in, pressing your fingertips against his lips.
“Leave it all to me sweetheart. Daddy will make it all better.” He wastes no time taking your hands into his own and kissing your fingertips softly, before pressing his lips against yours.
You’re too stunned to react so you allow him to kiss your motionless lips, your eyes still wide open in disbelief. You’d never been so grateful to someone for taking the lead.
“Close those pretty eyes for me baby, you’re safe now.” He kisses your eyelids softly and his gentle caresses awaken a deep urge within you.
You grab at his collared shirt, loosening his tie and unbuttoning it. “Been working more late nights at the office?” You mumble into his lips as you push the crisp white shirt off his shoulders, leaving his muscles exposed.
“That’s because I have two women in my life who bleed me dry.” He chuckles and you smile at the memory; he’s shelled out for you on more than one occasion- from plane tickets and birthday gifts to a new MacBook for college because your one broke and you couldn’t afford another since you’d been fired from your waitressing job- he even agreed that that guy deserved to get a drink thrown in his face for grabbing you. He said that if he were there, he would’ve done worse.
Before you freefall into a psychoanalytical hole, Anakin rips your skirt off - it’s as if he can hear your mind working overtime. You gasp a little as he kneads the fat of your ass cheeks roughly, guiding you until you’re grinding against him. You can feel him getting hard, and oh did it feel big. You’d stolen subtle glances at his crotch on numerous occasions, contemplating what it might look like, what colour the tip might be, what it might taste like. You couldn’t bare to be left in the dark any longer so you reached for his belt and impatiently started undoing it- but you were stopped by his large hands cupping yours.
“Not just yet princess. I wanna take my time with you.” He whispered coarsely and the feeling of his warm breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine. Before you knew it, he had spun you around so that you were sitting on his lap with your back facing his front. He traced his tongue in big open kisses along your neck while his hands trailed up and down your thighs, before he hooked his fingers around your panties.
“Lets get these off shall we?” He purred and his words sent sparks straight down to your core. He lowered your underwear only down to your knees, before spreading your legs a little, his hand placed under one of your thighs to keep it up. You felt the cold air hit you and knew instantly that you were soaked.
You breathing was reduced to short little pants as his fingers reached the inner folds of your pussy, and it felt like every caress touched your soul. You started squirming about in his lap as two of his fingers slid into you.
“Goddamn… oh baby, I didnt even mean for that to happen but you’re just so wet they slipped right in.” You mewled at his lustful words as he curled his fingers inside you, rubbing your clit with the base of his thumb.
“Oh Ani…ah fuck!.” You cried. “Anakin!”
“Yes sweetheart, what is it?” Gaining speed, he grabbed your cheeks with his free hand and turned your head to force you to look at him but you were too stimulated to respond.
“Do you hear how wet you are? And here I thought you were a good girl.” He maintains eye contact and your cheeks flush at the lewd sounds coming from your core. You take a glance and see his hand is glistening with your arousal, wetness squelching as it pours down to the Rolex on his wrist.
“Aah…I, I’m sorry daddy! Mm can’t help it” You manage to squeal out, embarassed by how wet and helpless he made you.
“Don’t you dare apologise sweetheart. Daddy loves how wet this pussy gets. Is this all for me?”
“Yes, yes Sir it’s all for you- mm all yours!” You moan as you feel your climax fast approaching. “Please can I cum? Pleasee daddy!”
“Yes princess, cum for me.” He pumps his fingers in and out of you at such a tempo you have to hold onto his arms for stability.
As if someone opened a dam, your orgasm washes over you and you let out a stupified scream- you wanted to say his name but your brain is so scrambled all you can manage is a mumbled moan of incoherent syllables.
“Such a good girl baby, well done honey.” He plants kisses all over your cheek and neck as your heart rate climbs down.
As you come down from your high, the realisation of what you’re doing dawns on you. As if he could read your mind, he takes your face into his hands.
“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours? If you think you’ll regret it, tell me now. I don’t think I could handle it if we made love and you woke up regretting it.” He speaks softly, as if being too harsh might scare you away.
“No, no it’s not you.” You quickly respond. “I just feel a little cheap. I don’t ever have one night stands so I’m kinda out of my depth here… and the guilty thoughts about Leia creeping up on me don’t help either.”
“Hey, you’re not cheap.” You scoff at his attempt to reassure you. “Stop that, I mean it. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you regardless of the outcome of this. But…I mean I’m out of my depth here too. If we’re being honest, I haven’t had sex in years.” Anakin admits and your jaw drops. How could a man this damn fine not get laid for that long?
“It’s a personal choice.” He corrects before you jump to any conclusions about what might be wrong with him. “I don’t like one night stands either and if I’m not in love, I have no real interest in sex.” Your heart leaps at the insinuation- if he’s willing to sleep with you, that must mean…right?
“So let’s not have a one night stand then.” He continues and your heart drops. I guess you thought wrong.
“Let’s keep seeing each other. I ache all over at the thought of this being the last time I see you. I need you in my life. I don’t care if it’s wrong, I don’t care what people say. Leia will come round to the idea eventually, she has to.”
“I love you.” You reply a little too quickly, staring at him with so much admiration you think your heart might burst.
“I love you too, my sweet girl.”
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Part 2
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loveundrwrld · 5 months
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yan bully (past) x gn reader
kinda angsty, wanted to do something different with the concept of a yan bully. do make sure to heed the content warnings on this one as this is a little more dark/potentially triggering than what i typically post.
(cws: bullying, trauma from said bullying, implied childhood trauma, stalking, yandere is kinda self-destructive(?) for lack of a better word, general yandere shenanigans)
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- yandere bully who taunted and tormented you in childhood . . . though, he doesn't initially remember it that way
- when it started, he was just ‘playing’ with you. and as time went on, he started to unconsciously project his complicated feelings onto you. just ‘pranks’ and ‘playing around’ to release some of his stress. and when his friends join in, he sees nothing wrong with it.
- your reactions are funny- and he wants to share that with his friends. why would that be wrong?
- he’s been treated the same way- and to him, he thinks he ‘turned out just fine.’ so it’s ok, isn’t it?
- after all, when you try to get teachers involved . . . they don’t think it’s an issue either. just kids playing around. so why should he feel bad?
- the reader, after a while of being bullied nearly daily, becomes apathetic to it. this irritates him. he wants to be in the forefront of your mind, for better or for worse . . . though, he doesn’t quite know why.
- he becomes more focused after that, more obsessive. he doesn’t really let his friends tease you as much anymore- though, that mercy is short-lived as he solely focuses on you instead.
- after a bit, you graduate from school and go to college, seemingly now only focused on your studies. you don’t reach out to him, or any of his friends for that matter. from what he hears about you, you aren’t interested in getting in touch with anyone from your old school at all.
- this agitates him. he needs, he realizes, to be in your life somehow. perhaps he was a little too mean, he realizes, but surely you’ve gotten over it, right?
- he begins to stalk you, trying to figure out more about what you’re like now, needing to see more about you. he sees, with a sinking pit in his stomach of realization, how paranoid you are now. how scared you are of new people, how jumpy you are when other people surprise you. how resistant you are to make new friends.
- at first he’s in denial. it couldn’t have been him who made you that way, could it? something must have happened.
- but he realizes, over time, that how he treated you was very wrong. he thinks now about treating you like the way he once did . . . and he feels sick. how could he have taken his anger out, on someone like you?
- but despite that, he finds that he absolutely needs to know everything about you now. he can’t let you out of his sight, he has a desperate hunger to see everything he can about you.
- eventually he starts trying to contact you . . . to let you know just how sorry he is. he’ll make it known to you how much he desires your forgiveness, how much of a painful need it is for him. how much he’s changed, and how much he regrets hurting you.
- he lets you know that, if you what you want is revenge? he’s perfectly happy doing anything you want to any of his former “friends.” he can help you . . . and even help you hurt him, if that’s what you want. just so long as he can see you.
- you ignore his letters, dumping them in the trash without reading them. and a part of himself that he doesn’t want to admit still exists . . . is angry. can’t you see how much he needs your forgiveness now?
- despite knowing better, and knowing he’s only going further towards upsetting you once again . . . he still needs to see you, to write to you.
- he just can’t live without you.
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r0ttenhearts · 8 months
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Hello I have a request: Scaramouche/Xiao angst that ends with a happy ending that reader ends up w another character (of your choice!)
cherry flavored kiss
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scaramouche x reader x xiao
sypnosis: after scaramouches affair , you decide to part ways and find something new for yourself.
warnings: angst, arguments, insults, scara being a dick
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“archons, (y/n). why can’t you just listen to me? when have i ever been wrong? whenever you use your own head you get yourself into trouble.”
he followed you around your shared dorm room as you paced around. your mind was a mess. you had caught scaramouche texting another girl things that should have been kept between lovers. photos he sent to you, also being sent to her.
holding his phone in that moment you could have sworn it would have burned you, or you would have broken it. you had a suspicion that he was hiding something. the way he was glued to his phone, the way he wasn’t around as much in your shared space. it all made sense now.
you felt utterly worthless. you had to find out on your third anniversary. your makeup was now smeared, and you felt stupid in your getup. all this before the anniversary dinner. had it ever meant to last if it came out this way?
the worst part was he didn’t seem to care about how you felt about it. not a single apology leaving his lips. only insult after insult about going through his phone.
“you wouldn’t have gotten yourself hurt if you weren’t so damn nosy, (y/n). but now look at you! snotting on yourself.. you look a damn mess.” he grabbed your wrist tightly, forcing you to look at him.
his hair was damp and clung to his forehead as he had been showering while you discovered his secret. his eyes hid no anger as he grit his teeth. “this is your fucking fault. if you hadn’t been so.. you! i would’ve been satisfied. i would have been here. seeing you cry like this makes me feel sick, and not because i love you. but because it’s so pitiful.”
your tearful eyes spilled more tears as you attempted to shake free from his grasp. “you wonder why you have the issues you do scara, when you’re like this! when you treat someone who has loved and devoted themselves to you for years! you’re fucking sick.. you’re a mon-“
before you could finish your sentence a loud slap echoed across the room. the searing hot pain on your cheek was quickly replaced with the sensation of his nails digging into your cheek, grip on your face. “don’t you fucking call me that.”
no words were exchanged as he let go of your sobbing form. with a slam of the front door, it would be the last time you’d see scaramouche for another half year. hastily stuffing your belongings into bags and disappearing that same august night. and just like that, three years of memories were spent wasted.
while scaramouche spent his time in and out of girls dorm rooms, he never found the feeling he was searching for. he had it with you for a brief moment, before another girl caught his eye. but he knew he didn’t want you. he didn’t want the life he had promised you one hot summer day.
with scaramouche becoming known for his scandals around campus, you had devoted yourself to finishing your degree. you managed to pull through your heartbreak and graduate top of your class. you were all smiles that day, surrounded by your friends. the same friends you shared with scaramouche, but he never showed his face around you since that day.
with your college life coming to a close, you had been presented with an opportunity to work at a nearby aquarium, as your degree was based on marine science. you happily accepted as you held many fond memories at the aquarium. but there were some sour ones in the mix, like your first kiss, being with scaramouche, in front of the turtle and fish tank.
you shook your head at the memory, fingers clutching onto the strap of your bag on your shoulder. it was a new start to your life, a life where you were only surrounded by the things you loved.
you didn’t expect to find xiao in the breakroom as you set your bag down in a locker. his eyes seemed to light up the same way yours did as you recognized each other. “xiao? you work here? you didn’t tell us on graduation night.”
xiao softly hummed as he nodded. “i guess it never came up. i work with the penguins, you?” of course it was penguins. no other aquatic animal seemed to suit him more. you bit on your lip to fight a smile at the thought. “i’m with the otters actually.” xiao gave you a small smile, “it’s in the same area. i guess we’ll be seeing each other often, (y/n.)”
you couldn’t hold back your smile at those words. so then began your work relationship. it started with always taking the same breaks, having lunch together, and buying each other snacks from the vending machine. it gradually grew into hand holding before departing to different doors, waiting on each other to enter the aquarium in the parking lot, and late night dinners when you’d have to stay later than usual.
it was a hot day in may when you finally asked him the question that would make or break your current relationship with him. you both sat outside after a long shift, popsicles in hand as you both enjoyed the break. “hey, xiao?” he hummed in response as his popsicle was still in his mouth. “what are we? i mean.. i like you. like, really like you.” you could see his ears redden at your words as he slowly took the popsicle out of his mouth. his teeth marks on the blue ice.
“i.. i really like you too, (y/n).” you smiled gently before leaning in for a kiss hesitantly. you knew xiao was shy, never one for relationships or even being intimate with hugs. but you knew it felt right when his soft lips pressed against yours. you could taste the blueberry from his popsicle, and he could taste the cherry from yours.
you both came out to your friend group about your newly established relationship that same weekend. everyone but scaramouche was there, but they all knew he wouldn’t show. scaramouche would nerve show up if he knew you’d be there.
but word travels fast in teyvat and he saw the post venti had made to celebrate the new relationship. scaramouche scoffed, gritting his teeth as he blew out smoke from his cigarette. you? with xiao? it was unbelievable. it had only been seven months since he.. ended it with you.
that sinking feeling scara always tried to escape from only felt worse as he kept tapping through venti’s story. the video venti had posted of you shyly covering the camera as xiao kissed your cheek, hands around your waist made scara’s blood boil. xiao was scara’s friend! how could he betray him like this? getting with his lover, no— ex lover.
he had to do something. this wasn’t right. you with someone else wasn’t right. scaramouche dropped his cigarette to the ground, smushing it under his foot. the sparks of red dying out as he hastily called kazuha.
the video had been posted three hours ago so it must have been over by now. “hello? scara?” kazuha’s soft voice spoke through his speaker. “yeah. hi kazu, i have a favor to ask you.”
“what is it old friend?”
“could you give me (y/n)’s address?”
kazuha gave scaramouche your address, already knowing he had seen venti’s and posts. kazuha silently hoped this would help bring closure to you both, knowing the way you’d both go quiet at the mention of one another.
it turned out you didn’t live too far from him, only a 10 minute walk. he wondered how he never bumped into you thus far but chalked it up to him being too busy with his girls for the month to have probably even noticed.
he nervously stood in front of your door after ringing the doorbell. he hadn’t faced you since that day and it was untangling feelings he had repressed and pushed down since that day.
“oh.” your voice broke him from his nervous trance as you were swinging the door closed before he reached out. “wait, (y/n). i just want to talk. just give me five minutes and i’ll leave you alone.” you slowly nodded, opening your door so he could slip inside and close it behind him.
he noticed how much more decorated your apartment was compared to your shared dorm room you once had with him. he internally grimaced as he remembered how your face fell when you both went out shopping for furniture for your dorm room, telling you not to clutter the space with junk. the dejected look on your face was still clearly etched into his memory.
as you sat across from him he remembered why he came. it wasn’t to dwell on old memories, but to demand answers. he deserved that at the very least, didn’t he?
“i heard you’re with xiao now.” scaramouche spoke coldly as you nodded. “what of it, scara?”
he huffed as he shifted on your couch, his shoulders tensing. “why? how could you move on so fast? did we mean that little to you?”
you scoffed at his words. so this is what it was about. “seriously scara? how could i? how could YOU? YOU threw us away. YOU cheated on me. YOU ended our relationship.”
you couldn’t hide the anger that was boiling inside of you as you looked at the dark haired boy seated on your couch. you couldn’t believe you had once planned a future with him.
“you know you’re special to me, (y/n). all you had to do was come back, and we would’ve been happy together.”
“oh i was really special to you wasn’t i? special enough for you to cheat on me.” you spat.
“it wasn’t like that, and you know it. we could’ve been happy together right now. this could’ve been our apartment. we.. we could’ve lived out our promise.”
you laughed loudly at his words. the last thing you wanted to be reminded of was the promises you made. the promises you held near and dear to your heart so long ago. the only reason why you held onto him for as long as you did.
“that’s not true scara, and you know it. we wouldn’t have lasted, you weren’t satisfied. and you hated what we had. i have everything and more than i dreamed of when i was with you, now i have that with xiao. i’ve had enough of you and your lies. get the fuck out.” you spoke angrily as he silently walked to your door. you didn’t look at him but felt his eyes on you as he gave you one last glance. another door closed by him, for good.
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taglist: @samarill @whorerificstuff @magica-ren @darliingyu @gh0sts0up @sparklylanddetective @reblog-crazily @foxlover1144 @xiaonscaraswife @beriiov @linkookie197 @msdevilis @aqualesha @ayameei @lelemnh @0kauy @shoheartluv @saeism @dearsumire @astrolomona @sakiimeo
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nuhahani · 7 months
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Desperado
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Bonten Stripper Series
Desperado- Rihanna
Ran Haitani x Fem!Stripper!Reader
2.4k words
Warnings: MDNI, NSFW Content and themes, Stripper, Cheating (from reader), pnv, fingering, oral (m receiving), car sex, semipublic sex, dirty talk, Unprotected sex (please be safe), overstimulation, daddy kink, pet names (princess, babygirl, pretty girl), strong language, size kink, breeding kink, creampie, praise kink.
SMUT under the cut, minors please leave. I’d like to apologize in advance for this being my first smut. Enjoy.
It was safe to say that stripping wasn’t your first choice to get you through paying college tuition, but it did pay and provide. Your parents had made it very clear that they would not be helping you financially after you graduated and that left you in a desperate situation after becoming a legal adult. After sharing your situation with your best friend, she was more than happy to assist in getting you both auditions at a strip club that her aunt was a house mom at. And so, started your long journey of being kicked out of your parents’ home after they discovered the source of your income. As you became more experienced as a dancer the opportunities of working at high-end clubs were endless. That’s how you and your best friend ended up working at Mari, a nightclub that brought in CEO’s, politicians and just in general, the filthy rich. You were aware of the situation were now in of course, Mari was owned and run by Kokonoi Hajime; a Bonten executive. Working for a club owned by a crime syndicate meant you could now only work at their clubs if you wanted a place of employment as a stripper. Not that you would want to quit until you had graduated of course, the money was just too good. 
You and your best friend could afford a place together, groceries, tuition, clothes and anything else your hearts desired. This was a career your boyfriend was unsure about when you first started dating but became more comfortable with your choice as you grew together. He was sweet and understanding with the fact that you would not cross the with your clients. He mainly kept in mind that his major would allow him to take care of you one day and you wouldn’t have to do this. It was a constant topic of conversation between the two of you. Stripping had started as a way to make ends meet but quickly became something you actually enjoyed doing. In all honesty you weren’t sure you wanted to quit after graduating. When you told him this it started another argument. He wanted a wife with a career, at one point in time you had also wanted that, but things change, and you were now feeling suffocated in your relationship. Currently you sat in the dressing room adjusting your makeup letting his missed calls go ignored. You needed to look like a fantasy, smudged lipstick and running mascara would get you sent home without anything. The same conversations and arguments had led you to become emotionally drained to the point you just didn’t care anymore about the relationship or fixing it. The only issue is that you didn’t want to be alone. 
Your house mom poked her head through the dressing room door to let you know it was your time to take the mainstage. The stringy black two piece left nearly nothing to the imagination as you stood up in your platform heels. An ungodly amount of glitter fell off your body with every step you took. Black guarders hugged your thighs as your stage name was called. Every night you and the rest of the girls took shifts on the main stage of the club; while one performed others would be on side stages, private rooms, the VIP lounge or on the main floor. Kokonoi was insistent that the only priority you had was to make him money and you were damn good at it. The only rule was no fucking the clients in the club, Koko had made it clear he didn’t care what or who you did outside the club just not in it. Not that the rule mattered to you, you were of course in a relationship.
Your body hit every beat of the music playing. A group of men sat in front of the stage, Kokonoi being one of them. You had seen the men with Koko many times but had never been given the opportunity to make extra money from them. Your friend and many of the other girls did but never you. One man in a suit with short purple hair had always caught your attention, you had seen him leave the club with some of the girls. You had heard things about him, the girls said he was one of the infamous Haitani brothers. Ran Haitani to be more specific and he was now your new target. You were Koko’s top earner, why didn’t he want you? By chance you caught his gaze towards the end of your time. You kept the overwhelming eye contact as you slid gracefully down the pole. He leaned over to whisper something to Koko who peered over his shoulder to you before calling the house mom over. The three of them looked in your direction once again before exchanging a few words and nods. 
His eyes never left you as you spun around on the pole, money raining down as you danced. Hips swaying to the final song until your time was called. As you exited the stage you were called to the side by your house mom.
“Haitani Ran bought a dance from you, go to room two.” She shooed you away towards the room. Peeking your head out from backstage you saw the purple haired man was gone, only leaving Koko and the other men that had accompanied him. Room two was on the other side of the of the club which meant you would have to walk across the main floor and do your best at not slipping or losing your footing in the heels that adorn your feet. The smell of alcohol and cologne filled the club, cash touched every crevice of the floor. The club constantly looked as if an ATM exploded inside. Neon lights lit the dark path towards the room where he was waiting. 
He sat in the middle of the room on a white couch, legs man spread as scrolled on his phone. Purple lowlights enhanced his features, you had to admit that he was one of the most handsome men you had ever seen. He only looked up from phone when you entered the room, slipping it in his pocket and giving you his full attention. Lavender eyes looked you up and down with a gaze that shot through your nerves. The room and playlist had been setup for you, a setup that you had become accustomed to. 
“Come here pretty girl.” The velvet of his voice was intoxicating, for the first time since starting your career you were nervous. With your legs on the sides on his lap, you straddled his waist with a light grind on his crotch. His hands found their rightful place on your ass the way so many others had before.  You weren’t sure how intimate he would allow you to get. You lightly pressed your hands to his chest feeling the material of his button up shirt under your skin. Allowing more of weight to press down on his clothed crotch you slowly grinded against him. A small gasp left you lips when his fingers started kneading the skin of your ass. “Tell me how a pretty girl like yourself ended up in a place like this?” His words were hot against your ear, sending chills down your spine. Ran had clearly caught your reaction and used it as a chance to pull your body flush against his with a smirk. 
“Would you believe me if I said I enjoy the line of work Mr. Haitani?” That’s exactly how you ended up in the backseat of his car after your shift was over. A bag full money and few extra stacks just to get on your knees with his length in your mouth and his fingers in-between your slick folds. It wasn’t your plan to be bent over in the back seat of his car gagging on all eight inches, it just happened, but you weren’t complaining. Tears welled in your eyes as his free pushed your head against him. His pre-cum was sweet making the desire to give him head even better. Such pretty moans came out of such a violent man. Whimpers vibrated from your mouth around his cock as his fingers hit the spongy soft spot inside you and thumb rubbing circles on your clit. You were so close, tightening around his fingers. Heat pooling in your core until you couldn’t take it anymore.       
“Fuck baby girl, you’re so tight around me. Can’t wait to feel you on my cock.” Your eyes rolled back at the words, your orgasm crashing on you. It was so much better than you imagined. Your mouth was pulled off him as he pulled hingers out of your dripping cunt. You watched as he sucked his fingers clean, you felt so empty; you needed more. Your hands stroked his cock giving you a better view of what you had just choked on. His pre-cum covering your fingers tempting you to taste it again. He was much bigger than your current boyfriend. The thought of Ran fucking you in the backseat was mouthwatering. He pulled you onto his lap, hard cock pressing against your folds as you straddled him. Hands on his bare tattooed chest that was exposed from his unbuttoned shirt to keep your balance as he ravaged your neck with open mouth kisses. His teeth nipped and bit at your soft skin, sucking on the supple flesh, finding your sweet spot before latching on. 
“Fuck Ran that feels amazing,” That comment earned a sharp smack on your ass causing you to yelp. The pain was something new that your boyfriend hadn’t been up to trying before but with Ran it got you wetter. 
“Not my name princess.” One hand kneads the skin of your ass that he just slapped while the other was wrapped around your waist holding you to him as if he was afraid, you’d change your mind and leave. You knew what he wanted you to call him, and you were more than happy to oblige. Daddy fell out of mouth which rewarded you by moving his mouth further down to your chest as he lifted your hips and aligned himself at your entrance. A gasped escaped at the sudden feeling of the tip pushing past your wet folds, slowly entering your heat. The stretch when he finally bottomed out was a new kind of full one that you hadn’t felt with your boyfriend. The same boyfriend that kept calling your phone that sat on the seat next you both. Ran didn’t have look to figure out that you were most likely being unfaithful, or at least according to Koko you had always declined advances for anything more than a private strip show. A smirk etched itself on his face as his tongue swirled around your nipple while you rocked your hips on his. His pants had pulled down just enough for you to ride him comfortably, though it wasn’t an issue since he had already undressed you.  He felt so unbelievably good inside you, so good you didn’t care if there was no condom even though you always used them.         
“He fuck you like this princess? Fuck you as good as I can?” The question with the sloshing sounds of your pussy made you blush as you continued to ride him. He stopped your movements and grabbed your jaw. You were forced to keep eye contact with him. “Asked you a question.” His thumb that helped you still found its ways to your clit once again, the pressure from his motions brought you closer. 
“No daddy,” You whined out, the feeling of your clit being stimulated made your eyes roll when combined with the rough thrust of cock kissing your cervix. He moved your hips back to their previous motion. The hand on your jaw moved to your throat, fingers squeezing the sides. Your pussy clenched him tighter than before. His moans and grunts were music to your ears. You went to shut your eyes and enjoy the feeling of your second orgasm coming closer, but he forced you to keep them open. 
“Eyes on me baby girl,” When you obeyed the order, he moved his lips to your jaw line. The words hot and heavy in your ear. “Good girl.” You were clenching just like before when the first orgasm he gave was on the verge of busting. The words cum for me pretty girl, sent you over the edge. Pretty lavender eyes stayed glued on yours as you came around him screaming the words daddy. Your pretty little expressions and sopping wet cunt were almost too much for him take. You cried out, falling into the crevice of his neck as he fucked you through the second orgasm. His thumb never let up on your clit. He was determined to pull another one out of you. His hips slammed into overstimulated cunt. “Gonna give me another one? Please pretty girl, need another one from you so badly.” And you did, not long after your second you gave him a third. 
His thrusts became sloppy and less paced than before. You knew he was getting close, and you would never forgive yourself if he pulled out. 
“Let me make this pussy mine princess?” You nodded. “Not good enough, need to hear you say it.” 
“Fuck daddy please cum in me, please fuck!” His hand was in your hair pulling your head back and his soft swollen lips were on your neck sucking on your sweet spots. You felt his length twitch inside you, hot sticky cum filling you to the brim. The sound of heavy breathing and hot pants filled the car. He was undeniably the best sex you had ever had. Steam covered the windows. After a moment he pulled out of you, leaving your pussy gaping. He had successfully wrecked you. You slid the side planting yourself on the seat next to him as you got dressed in your street clothes. Eventually you remembered to check your phone only to find 36 missed calls from your boyfriend, God knows how many texts and the time to be 4:08am. “Shit, I have to go.” You breathed out.
“You could dump him and let me take you home.” You hadn’t been expecting to hear those words from Ran’s mouth. “I could keep you up the rest of the night.” Nimble fingers button his shirt back up halfway then moved to adjust himself comfortably in his pants. “He’s clearly not fucking you right.” 
A light chuckle left your lips as you decided. It didn’t take long to agree and soon you were dumping your boyfriend. The passenger seat of his car was by far the nicest one you had ever been in. One hand on the steering wheel, one hand on your thigh, he pulled out of the parking lot of the strip club. When he took a left you quickly let him know you lived in the opposite direction.
“I know, I’m taking you to my place.” 
773 notes · View notes
hannie-dul-set · 7 months
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모기 / MOGI — [c.bg].
SYNOPSIS. in which all of your life, you and beomgyu have been stuck together like glue whether you liked it or not. and as much as you want to change that, life seems to have different plans.
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PAIRING. choi beomgyu x female! reader. GENRE. childhood friends to not quite friends (derogatory) to not quite friends (endearment), romance, humor, very light-barely there angst, pining idiots, college! au with flashes to high school, featuring an ensemble of 01z idols. WARNINGS. swearing, many many (fake) death threats, so much secondhand embarrassment, mentions of sex, mentions of blood and gore, the worldly problems of a teenager, mc has anger issues, gossip. WORD COUNT. 14k.
TAGLIST. @matcha-binz @bgomtori @lotties-posts @bearbeom @bbinwrld @beomies-world @baekberrie @20-cms @jenodreamer
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NOTE. it is here! alternatively titled: all the reasons you don't like choi beomgyu (but maybe you do). this is just a v quick v fun read (i hope HAHHAHA). parts in past tense and within parenthesis are set in the past! hope you enjoy mosquito gyu and please let me know what you think! begging for crumbs of feedback plspls.
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YOU DON’T LIKE CHOI BEOMGYU. He’s been a thorn in your side for as long as you can remember— a far too nimble mosquito for you to catch and swat away, constantly buzzing around your ears like a mild annoyance. Mild, but annoying all the same.
The problem is, you can’t get rid of him. Not when both your families have been friends before either of you were even born. Not when you’ve been half-living in his house for the better part of your life and he’s been half-living in yours. Not when you’ve always been magically assigned to the same class for twelve god damned years and somehow, you’re now even set out to go to the same university.
It’s like the world just wants to stick the both of you together.
“Hey, fuckface.”
“What do you want, dipshit?”
Unfortunately for the world, you don’t want the same thing.
“Remember when I hauled your ass to the emergency room after you broke your leg at the skatepark in 9th grade?”
Beomgyu lets out a grunt upon hearing your question at the same time as he drops down to the ground with a thunk on the playground seesaw. “Right. That happened.” It’s late at night, the streetlights are dimming, and it’s a week before high school graduation. Not the most appropriate time to be playing around the kid-sized rides tucked in the corner of your apartment complex, but things have been penting up, and there currently seems to be no better way to deal with your physical and emotional exhaustion than by being sprung up to the air, down, and back up again.
“You also said— whoa!” You glue your feet firmly to the chalky ground before dangling your legs up once more. “You also said you’d do anything I ask after saving your ass. I’m here to collect your debt.”
The next instance, you aren’t see’d or saw’d back up. Beomgyu stays grounded, looking at with an expression you can only describe as oozing of suspicion. It is weird, you have to admit, bringing up a spur of a moment promise he made three years ago, possibly under the influence of anesthetics. You’d be suspicious of yourself, too. “Alright,” he relents after a long moment of thought. Beomgyu leans forward, resting his arms over the seesaw handle and burying his chin into his sleeves. “Spit it out. What do you want? I’ll buy it for you.”
You press your lips together. “It’s not something you can buy.”
Now, that definitely doesn’t help your case. Your crypticness is causing his brows to furrow, and Beomgyu is deep in thought wondering what the hell kind of favor your fucked up head is thinking of (especially after the shrimp incident). You can save him from misery and just spit it out right then and there, but it’s not easy for you to pull out of your mouth either. Once this night is over, your throat will be littered with sores and cuts and it’ll all be self inflicted.
“Wait.” Beomgyu suddenly jolts up and sits straight, causing the seesaw to wobble a little. His ears are peeking out the mess of his hair. It’s already way past the school policy length— a privilege of a graduating student, he says. And despite the shadowed sky cloaking the playground lot, you can clearly see the tinge of red painting the thin skin. What is he thinking? you narrow your eyes at him. The blush has spread all over his neck. "You—you—you’re not trying to ask—”
“Beomgyu,” you cut him off, sparing him from an aneurysm. “We’re starting college next month, right?”
His expression tells you he’s completely missed the mark. “Yeah...?” he sounds out, confusion riddled in his tongue. You bite down yours— an early repentance before finally throwing it out in the air.
“Can you do me a favor?” you squeak out. “Can you pretend like you don’t know me?”
Quiet washes over. You preemptively wince, expecting the impending torrent of swear words from your friend, but he doesn’t say anything. He says nothing for a long while, filling the quiet with tension-filled agony before finally saying, “I don’t understand.”
You swallow down a lump in your throat.
“What are you saying?”
There are uneasy creaks on the hinges of the seesaw set, as if it’s unsure whether to go up or down. The scent of iron seeps into your palms with how tightly you’re holding the handle. “Please pretend like we aren’t friends when we enter university,” you inhale sharply. “Better yet, act like you don’t know me at all, okay? Treat me like I was a ghost and I’ll do the same with you.” 
You don’t have the guts to look Beomgyu in the eye. You train your eyes to the graveled ground and hold in your breath, listening as the creaks of the rusty hinges slowly come to a still. He’s not saying anything. He isn’t saying anything and you’re starting to grow scared.
The seesaw finally stops rocking, and you finally hear Beomgyu’s response—
“Fine.”
—all while your ass gets dropped to the ground with an even louder thunk when Beomgyu gets off the damned thing. You let out a yelp as your body gets jerked back by the sudden recoil. 
“Hey!” you yell out, stumbling to get off the seesaw in a panic because he’s starting to walk. “Choi Beomgyu— wait up!”
“What?” he snaps his head back, and you flinch. He doesn’t look great. He doesn’t look happy at all. Guilt overhauls your entire being with a single, ringing punch and your tongue is weighed down by sand and soot and it’s difficult to swallow without the threat of choking. “I thought you wanted me to pretend like I don’t know you?”
You frown. “I did, but I didn’t mean it to be—”
Words fail when he turns his back to you once again. You can’t say anything. You can’t bring it in you to justify yourself. You can’t even find the shame to call him back. So all you can do is watch as Beomgyu slowly disappears into the evening, leaving behind more things in the playground than just you.
It’s fine, you inhale sharply. You can give him some space tonight and just talk it out on the way to school tomorrow. And it’s not like you didn’t expect him to be mad at you. It just hurt a lot more than you thought it would.
“I’ll see you tomorrow!” you yell at his disappearing figure.
It stings, sure. But still. It’s something you feel like you need to do, because you don’t like Choi Beomgyu, and all the things he’s cost you.
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#1: YOU DON’T LIKE HIM FOR WASTING SO MUCH OF YOUR TIME. You’re pretty sure at least three years of your lifespan has wilted away into nothingness because of how long it takes for him to answer the door. It takes two rounds of incessant knocking and a yell of his name. Even then, his mom is more likely to answer than the fucker himself.
He’s been like that ever since. Though you can’t exactly pinpoint when that ever since begins— you can’t remember how you met him because his stupid face has always been present in all of your earliest memories.
(Knock, knock, knock!
“Choi Beomgyu!”
Knock, knock, knock!
“Open the door!”
Classes ended early today, and your teachers at the academy are having a seminar so you don’t have to go there today. This was a rare opportunity in your life as a middle schooler— where every day runs from waking up, to eating, to studying, to eating, to studying again, studying some more, and wanting to quit studying. Today you had free time, and you’re going to spend it wisely.
At least that was the plan. But then Beomgyu called your landline while you were watching TV, saying that he had “something super, duper, insanely cool to show you and you’ll regret it if you don’t come over.” 
It’s probably something lame.
You hurried over to the unit right across yours.
But like usual, it took a good five minutes until you heard Beomgyu’s hurried footsteps padding louder and closer and closer. He didn’t give you an opportunity to be annoyed by him— he quickly tugged you into his home and shut the door lock with a kick, running into and out of the living room like it was a racing track, and before you knew it, you were in his room and he was all giddy and excited and it served as a sign that he was up to no good.
“You’re being suspicious,” you leered at him as he dug through his school bag, already taking the liberty to plop down on his bed. “What’s that?”
There was a proud grin on his face when he pulled it out and showed it off to you. You weren’t as impressed. In fact, you were terrified. 
Specifically because of the 18+ label on the CD container he’s holding.
“Why do you have that?!” you screeched. “Holy crap. You idiot. Are you trying to get us into trouble?!”
“We won’t get in trouble as long as you stop freaking out like a little wuss,” he reasoned, already slotting the forbidden CD into his conveniently placed laptop right at the foot of the bed.
Your houses shared an internet line, and most websites have been blocked as per both your parents’ request so it “doesn’t get in the way of your studying,” they say. You thought it was crap. Beomgyu thought  it was crap. So you’d been trying to find ways to subvert that restriction by whatever means you can get your hands on (i.e. going to PC rooms and getting dragged back home by your parents).
But that didn’t mean you were fine with watching a movie you legally weren’t allowed to watch.
This was absurd.
“Yeonjun hyung lent it to me. Hey, stop overreacting. You said you wanted to watch this and wouldn’t quit whining about it the past two weeks. I’m doing you a favor!”
“We’re not allowed to watch this! If our parents find out, they’re gonna—” You made the mistake of letting your eyes wander to the laptop screen. It’s all blood and guts and gore from the very beginning. You were taken. “Whoa. Move over.”
Beomgyu was grinning at his success. The equally bloody CD container found itself tucked underneath his bed, and before you knew it you were both hiding under the blankets, sharing a pair of earphones because there’s too much screaming and squelching from the off-brand slasher film your friend smuggled from a sketchy high schooler. Maybe that was just the right amount of screaming. You wouldn’t know. You’ve never watched anything like this before.)
To be frank, you don’t remember much about the film. You do remember nearly pissing yourself in fear and screaming along to the cries of agony whenever someone was killed on screen. Beomgyu was unfazed though— that freak. How was he not pissing himself when a severed limb flew into the frame?
But he wasn’t as calm when his brother came home early, and your constant screams of terror elicited understandable concern. (“Shut up! You’re going to get us caught,” he hissed, trying to smack his palm over your mouth but you’re already burying your face into his comforter and blindly shoving him off).
Long story short, you both got caught and got grounded for a week.
So much for having free time.
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“Congrats on finishing your last exam!”
You grunt, shoving past Heeseung as you exit the classroom, a stack of scratch papers pressed to your chest. He trails behind you with an evident bounce in his step. You’d be just as excited had you not been brutally murdered by midterms week. It’s only your third month of university and you’re already ready to drop out. Why is this normalized? This is structural, systemic violence.
“Jieun and the rest are planning a night out tomorrow,” he mentions. “You coming?”
“No. I’m going to sleep for forty-eight hours and die.”
He tells you you’re no fun and you flip him off. Three months have passed and you feel like you’ve aged thirty years, but Heeseung is still fucking energetic and you’re sure it’s because the girl from computer science he’d been flirting with for the past two weeks finally agreed to go on a date with him. The stupid grin on his face as he’s typing on his phone is annoying you to no end. “What?” he asks, looking up from his phone, still all smiley and irksome. 
“You’re insufferable,” you deadpan. His expression morphs into confusion, then realization, then pity, then circles back into being incredibly annoying again. 
“If you beg, I can set you up with one of my friends.”
“Eat ass.” 
You smack the top of his head with the stack of papers. He is unfazed. “I know a few guys! C’mon! Instead of being bitter, why don’t I help you out? I don’t do this for everyone, you know. I’m only offering because you’re my friend.”
Well, the past three months haven’t been entirely bad. Your freshman batch was fairly easy to get along with— Heeseung specifically, whom you hit off with during the orientation. You’ve also been doing pretty well with all of your classes despite the back-breaking workload. And now that midterms are over, your uni has this policy to cancel classes for a whole week after every major exam (for the students’ “mental health” they say), so now you have the chance to finally fucking rest.
“Beomgyu!”
You flinch upon hearing Heeseung yell out his name. You can’t get used to it.
The space next to you becomes empty as Heeseung excuses himself for a moment to join Beomgyu and the little group he’s appeared with. You take the opportunity to shove the scratch papers you have into your bag, taking a few glimpses here and there— regretting doing that when Beomgyu happens to meet your gaze at one point, and you quickly avert your eyes to the posters on bulletin boards stuck on the hallway wall. E-Sports Fest 2023. Sign up for your respective departments now! 
“Later,” Heeseung waves them off and runs back to you. “Hey. We’re fucked. Beomgyu’s playing in like half of the games next, next week. The ICT fuckers have practically won already. This is too much of a skill gap. This isn’t fair.”
You give him a look. “Okay?”
Heeseung pouts. “At least pretend like you’re interested. Jeongin said yes, but I still have to get Chenle onboard so we can at least get second place, but he says he doesn’t wanna waste our short break so— hey, are you listening?”
No, you’re not. Because you met eyes with Choi Beomgyu once more before he left with his friends, and even if it’s been three months since you’ve last talked to him, there’s still a weird feeling in your gut every time you happen to cross paths.
It’s been easy for him to keep his promise. The both of you have different majors, and though you two share a few mutual friends, Heeseung doesn’t know shit about your history, and nobody seems to suspect anything. 
Still. You can’t completely avoid him. Not when you two are literally still neighbors. 
The both of you moved out since your campus is a two hour commute from your homes, but you also moved into the same apartment building in the city as per your parents’ request. (“Now, I’m more at ease knowing you’re still living next to her, Beomgyu,” your mother remarked the day his dad drove you both to your new building). Your mom didn’t know how not at ease you are with him still floating around you with a seeming permanence, especially after what happened in the playground that night. 
“Anyway, I have to go,” Heeseung tells you, probably off to meet the compsci girl he refuses to tell you the name and identity of. You fear she may be one of your friends. “How about you?”
“Off to have lunch with Sungchan and Minjeong,” you hum. “Have fun. Don’t come crying to me when you eventually get your heart broken.”
“You’re just bitter. Don’t worry. I’ll get you a date to save you from your misery.”
“Go to hell.”
“See you.”
The both of you part ways, and you meet up with the aforementioned two at the campus cafeteria because fast food is outside of your budget after splurging all your allowance on caffeine and energy drinks this week. Your two friends seem to have also been hard fucked by midterms. Lunch was filled with quiet complaints and you immediately took the first bus home after eating.
“You stopped by?” you speak into your phone, wedging the device between your cheek and shoulder as you punch in the code to your unit’s door. “You should’ve told me. I could’ve come home earlier.”
“It’s alright. I just left you some side dishes for the week. They’re in the fridge. Who knows what kind of junk you’re putting into your body without me on the watch.”
“I am eating perfectly well!” you exclaim, shutting your door with a click. You love your mom and her food but she’s as protective as ever. “I just got home. I’ll send photo evidence of me enjoying your kimchi, madam.”
You hear her laugh a little at the end of the line, and you hum out a smile. “I’m hanging up. You must be tired so get some rest.”
“Yeah, alright.” Upon entering the living room, you can see the familiar, reusable blue shopping bag on the open kitchen counter, its unreasonably gigantic size taking up too much of the space. You narrow your eyes and walk towards it. When you take a peek inside, there are still full containers and tupperwares. The rolled omelets look particularly good. “I thought you put them in the fridge,” you say. Without waiting for your mother’s response, you’ve already produced a pair of chopsticks and have pried a box open, stuffing a roll inside your mouth.
“Oh, those are for Beomgyu.” 
The eggs suddenly taste like sand.
“He mentioned on call last time that he was missing some of my home cooked dishes. Why haven’t you been sharing with him? Greedy child. Anyway, drop them off at his place later when he gets back. He wasn’t around when I visited earlier. Okay?”
First of all, why does your mother keep calling Choi Beomgyu behind your back? Second of all, the guilt of eating what is supposed to be Beomgyu’s food shot your appetite back down into oblivion, so you quickly close the container and stuff it back into the bag in a zip. “Okay. I’ll do that.” You throw the chopsticks into the sink. He isn’t gonna notice that one omelet is missing, right?” “Bye.”
“Come back home during your break.”
Then again. Why do you have to waste this perfectly good food on a guy like him?
The line ends. You fall to the floor with an anguished cry. “Ugh,” you groan, forehead hitting the counter body a few too many times that a bruise could form. “The bastard might snitch on me if I don’t do it. Fuck. Fine.”
You feel like a reanimated corpse when you force yourself back on your feet, a series of grunts as you begrudgingly lug the large bag of side dishes that won’t even end up in your stomach. This is fine, you exhale. You can do this. You’re gonna knock on the door, throw the bag to his face, and say goodbye without talking. This is fine. This is easy. 
But with Beomgyu, it’s never easy. The simplicity of the act ends after you’ve left your unit. What came after was the short, dreadful walk across the hallway because shit— in the past three months you’ve moved here, you have never actually gone up to his door. 
Knock, knock, knock.
No answer.
Knock, knock, knock.
Still no answer. This bastard never fucking grows.
“Choi Beomgyu!” Your light knocks quickly transition to a heavy banging. “Choi Beomgyu, open up—”
There’s a click and a creak. Your knuckles don’t land on the familiar hardwood— they land on his chest because the momentum made you keep knocking even after he’d opened the door. “Oh,” he flatly starts. A brow raised and arms crossed, he leans against the door frame and looks at you like you’re an unwelcome guest. “What do we have here?”
He’s insufferable. He’s totally insufferable.
“Who are you again?”
“Cut the crap, Beomgyu,” you grunt, absolutely not in the mood for this. You know that it’s a pretty shitty thing for you to ask him to pretend to be strangers. You really do, so you didn’t hold it against him for being mad at you at first. He’s been doing his end, sure, but you don’t remember him acting like a big fucking bitch to you in private as a part of the deal. 
You thought his anger would subside after three days. It’s been three months and at this point you’re convinced that this relationship is now irreparable, and neither of you are making the effort to resuscitate it. “You’re the one who came to my door. Why are you swearing at me?” he huffs. You grit your teeth, shoving the bag to him and his act of arrogance falters from surprise. You don’t miss how his eyes widen and how his scrunched up brows suddenly disappear under the messy bangs he’s decided to grow out.
“Here. I’ll take back the containers next week. Make sure you’ve washed them by then. Goodbye.”
That, in fact, wasn’t a good bye because you stomp back into your unit without giving him a second look. 
Dammit, dammit, dammit it all. The door is cold against your back when you retreat inside. You hate him. You really do. This would’ve been easier if your lives weren’t so irrevocably tangled— messed up in all sorts of knots and ties that even a fucking boyscout can’t tear it apart. 
You left your phone on the counter when you left and you can see it buzzing and lighting up. There’s a few messages. Hi, dear. How have you been? It’s from his mother. There is no escape to this. Absolutely none.
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#2: YOU DON’T LIKE HIM FOR FORCING YOU TO SWALLOW SO MUCH OF YOUR PRIDE. Somehow, he’s always there at the lowest points of your life— moments where you wouldn’t even want any of your family to see you, but he’s there. He always is, and you’d always wish to evaporate along with the rain. 
Maybe he has a signal whenever you’re on the verge of doing something stupid. Or losing face. Or being absolutely dumped. Or all of the above at the same time. Maybe he’s there on purpose so he can have one more thing on his belt of things to hold against you.
(“I like you.”
The words squeezed out of your throat like a choke, more than anything. Maybe it was because of the fact that you sounded so pathetic that Jiwoong couldn’t even reject you properly. Maybe if he were to be frank, he was afraid that you’d end up crying.
“Um, there’s...there’s somewhere I have to be for a moment. You don’t mind waiting for a bit, right?”
But it wasn’t you that ended up in tears. It was the sky. You weren’t sure how long you’d been waiting, frozen still in an abandoned corner behind the school where your pink-stained note had asked him to come— him, your desk partner for the semester that you’d been unfortunately struck by— but it was long enough for the afternoon sky to be inked by gray clouds. Long enough for it to start pouring in on your behalf.
You sniffled. Ah, shit. This is stupid. You said you weren’t going to cry but fuck, your eyes suddenly started to sting, and you’re looking up at the clouds because gravity might help in preventing them from falling, but all it did was pool saltwater in your tearducts and now they’ve overflown, mixing into the raindrops cascading down your face.
“Until when are you going to keep standing there like an idiot?”
Instead of the gray, pouring sky, your vision is cloaked by a jarring electric blue. It was the same obnoxious color as the umbrella Beomgyu brings around. Then again— that was just his voice, too. Your cheeks started burning. That was enough to bring you back to your senses. “Did—did you see—”
“Let’s go home.”
It was one thing to be caught crying by your friend-slash-neighbor-slash-annoyance. It was another thing to be caught getting rejected by him. That was double the shame and embarrassment soiled. But Beomgyu hasn’t made a mention of it throughout your walk back to the building, much to your relief and suspicion. This man would make fun of you to the ends of high hell just for keeping a plushie to bed until you were thirteen— you weren’t sure when he started developing the emotional intelligence to stay in the comfort of silence throughout your walk home.
Of course, you didn’t expect him to hold his tongue for too long. It was an empty road, and the rain was still pouring. Beomgyu held up his umbrella above your head, and started with a low voice, “Want me to beat him up?”
Your steps lagged, faltering a little in mild surprise. “You?” An invisible force started tugging on the corners of your lips. “With your lanky ass and noodle arms? Keep dreaming, loser.”
“Hey—” You had to hold back a snort when you saw his face, an evident look of unbridled offense taking over, and he stopped in his tracks just to passionately defend himself. “You take that back. I’m strong. I’m pretty sure I can lift you up with just one arm. I can beat the shit out of Jiwoong if I wanted to.”
“Sure,” you snickered. “That is if you want to end up in the hospital. You’re all skin and bones, Beomgyu. You’re weak as hell. Remember the last time we arm wrestled? I’m pretty sure it ended up with me as the winner, and you as the— eep!”
You yelped, eyes widening. Suddenly, the ground wasn’t touching your feet anymore, you could feel the rain on your skin, and the bright, blue umbrella was now on the ground. You can see nothing but the fabric of Beomgyu’s dark and drenched uniform blazer and glimpses of the upside down pavement. Your face started to heat up. You could feel his firm grip around your waist and legs.
“That was in sixth grade, doofus. Keep up,” he snorted. 
“What the hell? Put me down!” you let out a grunt and tried to wiggle yourself free, but he’s unyielding— continuing the walk back home while carrying you like a sack of potatoes. “If you don’t put me down, I am going to bite you.”
“Nuh-uh.” The bastard gave your body a rough shake as a warning, and you screamed. “Not until you take back what you said earlier.” You balled your hands into a fist and hit his back. “Wow, you’re so ungrateful. I’m giving you a free ride home yet you decide to assault me. Your mother will be so disappointed when she hears this.”
“Your mother will shave your head if she finds out your haircut received a warning this morning.”
“Oooo—kay. Down you go. Ride over.” The moment Beomgyu settled you back on the ground, you gave him the nastiest glare you could muster. He gave you a grin. “Your hair is a mess.”
“Whose fault is it?” you sneer.
“Jiwoong’s,” he answered, matting down the top of your head with his hands. You winced when his fingers got caught between the wet, tangled strands. Beomgyu’s lips pursed as he tried to unravel them, brows furrowed in concentration. “I’m uninviting him to our game night tomorrow. He can eat shit.”
“He’s gonna talk shit if you do that,” you replied.
“Who cares.” He was finished tinkering with your hair. It was still pouring. “Done. Let’s go home.” You didn’t know if he made it better or worse.
“Okay,” you replied, feeling the top of your head. “But your umbrella ran away. Idiot.”
“Does it matter?” his lips quirked. “We’re already drenched, anyway.”)
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The ice in your service water has already melted. You are going to kill a man named Lee Heeseung.
Why isn’t this motherfucker answering your calls? You let out a mental swear. It’s the second Saturday of your one-week break after midterms, and Heeseung organized a blind date for you and his friend today. The problem is, that said friend is nowhere to be seen. The customers next to your table have already changed thrice already. You’re not pathetic. You’re not gonna wait for him.
Right when you muster the willpower to get up, Heeseung finally answers your call. He’s quick to overtake your possible threats by immediately rambling, “Okay. Before you get mad—”
“You’re dead to me.”
“I’m sorry!” he screams-slash-pleads. “Eunseok canceled at the last minute because of this thing with his— nevermind. That’s not important. I’m gonna kick his ass the next time I see him, but please tell me you haven’t left the cafe yet.”
You bite your bottom lip. You want to lie. You want to tell him that you’ve already left thirty minutes ago and are now in your apartment with cozy pajamas and a cucumber face mask. “I’m around the area,” you reply. “Why?”
“Oh, good. Great.”
This is brow raising. The bell above the door entrance rings, catching your attention and you look up. “Why?”
“You’re still going on a date,” he tells you. “I promise you, your time definitely won’t be wasted—”
Heeseung’s voice disappears into the background. Entering the cafe is the person you want to see the least. He’s wearing the hooded sweater you got him for Christmas last year, and around his neck are the headphones you got him for his birthday.
“—so I called another friend. Don’t think of him as just a second option, okay?! I think he’s more your type anyway, and—”
He’s looking around. He still hasn’t noticed you. He’s standing in the middle of the shop and he pulls out his phone. 
“—and he’s headed there right— oh! He says he’s there already!”
Beomgyu has spotted you and you want to kill yourself. Your head drops down and you bite down a scream of agony and despair. “You’ve heard of Choi Beomgyu, right? From BSEMC? I’ve mentioned him a few times. Haha. Anyway. I hope you enjoy your da—”
“Heeseung told me his friend got stood up and needed a backup.” He’s now in front of you. He’s looking down at you from behind the opposite chair. “I didn’t expect that that friend would be you.”
You’re going to kill yourself after you kill Heeseung. Better yet, why not murder Beomgyu as well so you can all rot in bloody fucking hell? 
“Hello?”
“Shut up,” you grunt, trying your best to subtly hide the burning embarrassment on your face without making it obvious that your pride is now in perfectly tattered shambles. Of all people, why him? Why? For the love of god, why? “Just leave. I doubt you even want to be here. Let’s just spare each other the headache, alright?”
Beomgyu stifles a scoff. You watch as his knuckles flex while clutching the back of the chair. “I canceled a game for this.” He pulls it back and plops down on the seat like a petulant child. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Your face contorts into an unabashed grimace. You take your bag and stand up. “Okay. Then, I’m leaving.” 
“You could’ve left an hour ago.”
Pause. He looks up at you, arms crossed and confident. Your upper lip twitches. You sit back down. Heeseung has already died twice in your head.
“I guess even someone as heartless as you is desperate for a little romance,” he hums, leaning back against his seat and completely at ease— a stark contrast to your end of the table: hot and bothered for all the wrong, not very sexy reasons. You’re trying to feign calmness, but the sweat dripping down your forehead from the heat of shame is ratting you out. This is the worst. This is the absolute worst.
You’re only able to breathe again when Beomgyu gets up to order something. Maybe you should order something too because your throat is as dry as bone. He returns not long after with a tray in hand. He settles it down on the table, revealing two glasses of iced tea and a plate of matcha tiramisu.
“Quit sulking,” he says. “You’re ugly when you sulk.”
With one hand, you flip him off. With the other, you use to grab one of the forks and dig into the dessert. Beomgyu mirrors your actions (minus the middle finger part), and grimaces after a spoonful lands in his mouth. “How are you eating this?” You hover a hand over your lips, pressing down a laugh. “It tastes like grass. Are you a cow? Is that it?”
Offended, you pull the plate closer to you. “Then why did you buy matcha if you’re just gonna insult it?”
“Because you like it.” Beomgyu reaches an arm over to get another bite, gags, then continues to try again. “Your tastebuds are really fucking weird. You should get them checked. I think they’re broken.”
You settle with an eye roll before taking a sip from the iced tea. This is odd. This feels like you’ve been transported back into time prior to your three-month long cold war. Choi Beomgyu is sitting in front of you and tapping on his phone laid on the table, and you’re sitting in front of him enjoying a nice piece of dessert he bought. There’s an odd cacophony inside your stomach— like butterflies and glass shards fluttering and cracking in a single enclosed space. 
“I heard you’ll be playing for the E-Sports Fest next week,” you mention, trying to dig a deeper hole into this crack that managed to resurface. Beomgyu gives you a weird, insinuating look in response. “Shut your face. I just keep hearing your name being mentioned. Heeseung is obsessed with you, I think.”
“Why are you asking?” he snorts, passing you a napkin. “You want to cheer for me?”
“Ew. Why would I?” you reply, blindly wiping at the corner of your mouth. “We’re not even from the same department.”
Beomgyu’s eyebrows knit together, trained on the lower half of your face. “Tch. Then why even bring it up, you—”
Time stops. For some reason, Beomgyu has reached his arm over the table and is now touching your face, thumb pressed against the side of your lip with a napkin, the opposite side of where you were trying to wipe off. 
Your eyes meet. It gets warm.
“Sorry,” he coughs out, retracting his hand to wipe the green-dusted cream off his fingers. Now, you know all of Choi Beomgyu’s tells like the back of your hand— and he’s not hiding those blushing ears from anyone. You’ve caught him. You knew his son of a bitch act was gonna crumble at some point (no, you didn’t. You thought he was gonna stay mad at you forever so now your heart is racing in glee). “If you’re done, let’s go. Come pick up your mom’s containers from my place.”
“Oh,” you breathe out. “Right.”
“I washed them.”
“Congratulations.”
He sneers. “Get up. I’m leaving you.”
The one thing you regret about making the deal with Beomgyu is missing out the opportunity of taking advantage of him and the car his parents’ gifted for graduation. Seriously. Had you known he’d be driving a private vehicle to and from campus everyday, you might have never asked for that favor in the first place. Those three months worth of bus fares could’ve been spent on your daily doses of coffee instead.
“Seatbelt,” he reminds while pulling out of the driveway. You’re mildly impressed and your face isn’t hiding it, and neither is the bashful tint on the tips of his ears. “Quit staring, you weirdo.”
“You can be kind of cool after all.” You give him a thumbs up. He grunts, and now you’re on the road back to your apartment.
It’s a quiet drive— the hum of the engine filling the early evening silence. You steal a few glances here and there, sneaking a few peeks at a new side of your friend(?) that you’ve never witnessed before. Since when was he so good at driving? He’s got only one hand on the steering wheel. It’s weird, you think. You’ve known everything about him for as long as you can remember, and finding out something new for the first time in a while— and not being the first one to find out about it— is making odd twists and turns inside your gut.
When you reach the apartment building, it’s still quiet. And when you ride up the elevator all the way to your floor, walking up the space between both of your doors, silence still permeates the walls and it makes you wonder— has it ever been this quiet between you two? 
“I’ll go get the stuff. Stay here.”
You’re left behind with your messy thoughts in the hallway and before things can get even more tangled up, Beomgyu shows up again with the bright blue shopping bag you dropped off last week. “Tell the madam that her seasoned spinach is perfect as usual.” He returns the bag, a faint smile on his face.
“Go tell her that yourself,” you huff, retrieving it from him. “I’m pretty sure she calls you more often than she calls me.” The tupperwares and containers look clean. You should give him a treat for doing a good job.
“Your mother is constantly worried about her young, impressionable daughter taking her first steps of independence, but doesn’t want to be called overbearing by her only child, so she asks me about you instead.” Beomgyu’s tone is nagging. You shoot him a glare and he simply steps closer to jab a finger into your forehead. “You have no idea how hard it is to make up bullshit about what you’ve been up to. You owe me a lot, dipshit.”
You wince, smacking his hand away. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 
The corners of his mouth twitch. His eyes leer away for a moment, and he lets out a huff of air through his nose. “Why? Do I know you?”
Oh god. Here he goes again.
“Why do you keep—” You stop, squeezing your eyes and taking in a deep inhale because for a moment there, you were just about to yell again. “Okay,” you restart. You should do something about your temper. “Okay. I apologize for troubling you, and I’ll tell her to quit bothering you, so—”
It was going well. It was going so well. Only if you had missed the very subtle, very irritating roll of his eyes upon your remark. 
“—so you should quit being an absolute dickhead too, asshole!”
Then maybe you could’ve lived in happy ignorance, and all your progress today wouldn’t have to restart.
“Oh, so I’m the asshole?” he scoffs, incredulous. “You’re the one who told me to distance myself. You’re the one who asked. I’m just doing what you told me to do. Why am I in the wrong?” Your throat tightens, a familiar choke the moment you try to swallow. 
“I never asked you to stop being friends with me, Beomgyu! I just—”
Asked you to keep our friendship hidden because I’m selfish. Because I’m insecure. Because I hate you just as much as you mean the world to me. 
But you can’t tell him any of these things, can’t you?
His disappointment is clear from the look on his face. Beomgyu lets his fingers rake through his hair with a sigh. “Just go home. Thanks for the food.”
There’s something twisting inside your stomach, churning at an uncomfortable pace. It’s gnawing and grating. You’re only able to pinpoint it when Beomgyu turns back to his apartment, prompted by the resounding click of his door lock.
Ah, you realize amid the silence of the now empty hallway. It’s guilt.
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#3: YOU DON’T LIKE HOW MUCH OF YOUR IDENTITY HE’S STRIPPED AWAY. You know it’s not on purpose. You know he doesn’t know. But it’s something that’s plagued you until your last few weeks of high school— the time for last chances, and final opportunities. It’s for this reason that you can’t stand him the most.
(“Hey!”
It was an unfamiliar voice that called out your name from behind you in the hallway, so you ignored it assuming that maybe they were calling someone else. It gets repeated, and you stop in front of your locker to retrieve your shoes, paying no mind to it. You’re going home alone today because Beomgyu’s out with his guy friends. “We’re having dinner together at my house later! Don’t forget!” was the last thing he yelled at you before running off. An unconscious smile crawls onto your face at the thought of it.
You felt a tap on your shoulder and heard the same voice that’d been repeating your name. You spin around, and are a little surprised to see the group standing behind you. “Hi!” 
It was Haena, one of your classmates, and she was joined with two more of the girls from your class, and one that you didn’t quite recognize. 
“Oh, sorry,” you bowed a little. “I didn’t know I was the one you were calling. I wasn’t trying to ignore you, sorry.” Your surprise stemmed from the fact that you weren’t really close with Haena or her friends. Not that you were on bad terms. You greeted each other from time to time, but your friend circle really just consisted of Choi Beomgyu, your deskmate Chaeryeong, and Ryunjin from the broadcasting club.
“It’s alright,” she smiled. “Do you…maybe have any plans today?”
You pulled out your shoes from the locker and closed it tightly. “No, not really.”
“Great! There’s a new cafe that opened near the school. Wanna join us?”
Well. This was unexpected. You didn’t have any other plans besides the joint family dinner you had with the Choi’s, so going on a cafe detour wouldn’t hurt. Beomgyu was also out with his other friends right now. Who says you couldn’t do the same? “Sure,” you replied. “I’ll join.”
It was a cute, cat-themed cafe with the only disappointment being that there were no actual cats— just the cat-shaped whipped cream on your strawberry drink, and the cat-shaped tiramisu on your plate. Cats weren’t usually green or pink, but you digress.
The girls were friendly. Conversation ranged from the universities you’ll all be attending, the classes you’re all about to finish, sprinkled with topics on shopping and clothes and the names of the rest of your classmates here and there. You’d started to zone out after a good while, stirring the contents of your half-empty drink as you stared at the glass windows, tinted orange by the sunset sky.
Haena cleared her throat. “So,” she started. You turned your attention back to your companions, and your eyes widened a little when you were met with all their eyes on you. Haena pronounced your name. “I’ve always been curious about something.”
You blinked. “About what?”
She leaned closer, a smile playing on her lips. “Are you and Beomgyu dating?”
You nearly choked on the sweet, strawberry drink. “What? No!” 
“Really?” Seohyun nudged herself closer next to you on the seat.
“Everyone thinks you’re dating him,” said Bora. “You’re always together.”
“Ah, that’s ridiculous! I’m really not dating him!” Your face has started to warm up. Gosh, what was this? What kind of situation was this? A few of them weren’t convinced, you could tell. You pressed your lips together before breathing out, “We’ve known each other since we were like toddlers. There’s no way in hell I’d be dating him. I don’t know where you're getting all these assumptions from.”
There was a glint in Haena’s eyes that you didn’t fail to notice.
“So, you don’t have any feelings for him?” This was getting weird.
“No. No, I don’t.” And even if you did, what the hell would they be interrogating you about it?
Haena visibly brightened. “Really? Then can you set me up with him?”
You were dumbfounded.
“I’m— I’m sorry?”
Things started to click. Senior high school was almost over, and your classmates whom you’ve barely even shared a conversation with for the past three years, were taking their last chance to start something with their crushes, or some shit, under the guise of half-hearted friendliness. You’ve understood now— and you’re nothing less than offended.
“Actually, I’ve liked Beomgyu for a while now,” Haena bashfully admitted. Seohyun inserted that her friend has had a crush on him since the beginning of the year. “I thought there was something going on between the two of you so I never acted on it. But I’m so happy to hear that you two are just friends!”
You shouldn’t be annoyed. But you were. You were very annoyed.
“You’ll help me right?”
Needless to say, you went home that day with your cat tiramisu in a paper box as takeout. The next morning, the three girls greeted your classroom entrance with unabashed glares. You paid no mind and headed over to your seat at the back, where an out of place box of chocolate milk was gingerly resting on the table.
You were mildly suspicious that Choi Beomgyu was the one who put that there, so you held it in your hands with caution, examining the box closer when you took a seat. 
The alleged perpetrator suddenly showed up from behind you. Your head felt heavier. Beomgyu was resting his arms on the top of your head, leaning down all of his weight onto you. “Oh wow,” he started. “Looks like someone has a secret admirer.”
You elbowed him and he let out a sharp yelp. You could see Haena giving you dirty looks from afar. “Go back to your seat,” you scolded him. “Class is starting soon.” Beomgyu listens to you well, but not after messing up your hair even further and greeting Seungmin who had just walked in.
“Are we still going after class?”
Choi Beomgyu was always surrounded by people. This was something you noticed a few months into your second year of middle school. He was like a lamp, flocked by so many buzzing insects in the night— just like right now, his face barely visible from inside the crowd at the middle of the classroom where his seat was. Even your seating assignments placed him at the center. That’s just where he’s meant to be.
“Hey, did you and Haena get into a fight?” 
You looked up to see Chaeryeong barely arriving in time before the bell, pulling her seat back and plopping down right next to you.
“Don’t mind it.” You sunk your face into your arms on the desk, elbow grazing the still unopened chocolate milk on the line dividing yours and your friend’s desk. “Hey,” you let your face peek out a little from your makeshift cocoon. “From an outsider’s perspective...do Beomgyu and I give the impression that we’re, um, dating?”
She snorted. “Haven’t your parents arranged your marriage, already?”
“This is a serious question!”
Honestly, this has never crossed your mind. Not until Haena mentioned it yesterday. It took a while for things to click inside your brain, but if this misunderstanding was really not singular, then that would really explain why you have never received any confession, any valentine’s day chocolate, or love letter, or anything for the past three years of highschool. It was all Beomgyu’s fault. He’s been unknowingly sabotaging your love life and if you end up sad and dying alone, it’s all on him.
Well, I guess it’s not completely ruined. Your cheeks pressed against your arms, looking at the milk carton on your desk. 
When you got up to your desk the next morning, there was another milk carton on your table.
“Hey.”
You looked up to see Seungmin hovering in front of your table. “What?”
“Not even a good morning? Beomgyu was right. You do have an attitude.” You rolled your eyes and stuffed the drink into your bag, and Seungmin decided to keep talking. “Anyway, where is he? You two usually arrive at the same time.”
“He slept through his alarm,” you replied. Then you furrowed your brows. “Why are you asking me? Couldn’t you just text him?”
“Well, it would be quicker to just ask you. Anyway, thanks.”
With that, he left. The bell rang, and your teacher arrived. You decide to save the drink until lunch time and when you got back to the classroom from the cafeteria, there was another snack on your table. For the next following days, you would find snacks suddenly spawning on your table. It was starting to get curious.
“Whoa. Holy crap. Someone might actually have a crush on you.”
It was now Friday, the end of the week, and you have accumulated a total of four milk boxes, three melon breads, and one pack of cookies all throughout. You and Beomgyu were staring down at the latest addition: a grape juice box and a packet of chocopie. He started muttering, “Does your admirer know that you snore when you—”
You gave him a kick. Beomgyu matched it with a harsh pull on your bag. He quickly ran away before you could retaliate, the rest of his body having already left, and his head peeking from the door to give you one last message.
“I’m going first! We have a raid in a while. What time is dinner later?”
“I’ll message you.”
“Alright,” he hummed. “See you. Text me if something comes up.”
This must be why people think you were dating. You were tired of it. When you were younger, people paid no mind to how much time and space you two were spending together— now that you’ve gotten a little older, maybe some things couldn’t be perceived as platonic forever.
But you don’t have any feelings for him, and neither does he for you. The only feeling you have for him is a penetrating sense of irritation. You mulled it over as you left the school building, clutching your bag straps as you walked. However, you paused upon seeing a familiar face standing at the edge of the entrance stairs. He looked like he was waiting for someone. 
“Oh! Um,” he suddenly exclaimed upon noticing your approaching presence. A cough stifled out from his throat, followed by a nervous smile. “Hi.”
It was Lim Jimin, one of your classmates and one of the boys that were usually rallying up every afternoon after class to the internet cafe with Beomgyu and Seungmin like a bunch of nerds. “Hey?” you greet back. “Didn’t you guys have a raid or something today? I think they already left.”
“No, I uh, I stayed behind,” he mumbled. “Can we talk for a bit?”
The chocolate milk carton he was holding had not gone unnoticed by you. Your narrowed eyes flitted over to his fidgeting fingers. His nerves were spilling right out. “Have you been the one leaving food on my desk?”
He flinched. “Yeah— well—” A smile curled on your lips. “Damn, this is a little embarrassing. Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” you hummed. “I enjoyed them. Thanks.”
There was a tinge of pink on his cheeks, a sheepish hand on the back of his neck and it looked as if he was running through a million thoughts in his head at once. “I’ve...I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he finally started after a moment’s silence. “Can you do me a favor?”
Your heart jumped. Holy shit. This is happening, this is actually happening. 
“Y—yeah?”
Your breath hitched inside your throat. Oh my god. You might actually end your curse of lovelessness today. Oh my fucking god.
“Can you convince Beomgyu to help me get to Platinum in League?”
What?
“I—I know this sounds dumb, and it’s kinda pathetic that I had to bribe you with snacks just to get to this— but he’s been refusing to help any of us because he leaves after like three games!” Jimin exclaimed, and, upon noticing the flat look on your face, quickly gathered himself back together. “Ahem. I thought…maybe you could convince him since you’re like, his girlfriend and all.”
Your brain was a loading screen. You blinked but saw nothing but red. Beomgyu goes home after three games because you guys eat dinner at six in the evening. Jimin was giving you food as a bribe. You were not getting a confession.
All at once, the blood rose to your face,
“W-wait— is that a yes? Are you gonna ask him—”
Your shame couldn’t keep you standing there like an idiot for any longer. Every hurried step you took was a testament of your misery, and you left behind in your wake a fucking wave of turmoil and embarrassment. Fuck, your cheeks were burning. Fuck, why did Beomgyu have to entertain that idea and muddled your brain.
“Oh, you’re home?” your mother greeted the moment you kicked open your apartment door and started stomping to your room. “Where’s Beomgyu? Why didn’t you come home toge—”
“Ugh!” you groaned. “Enough about him, please!”
Did you only exist as an extension of him? As a part of him? As Choi Beomgyu’s friend, girlfriend, whatever, as the girl who’s always been around him for the past seventeen years to the point where that was all you’re known for?
You were fucking sick of it.
Your mom was scolding you for yelling at her, but you were far into your emotions to stay behind and say sorry. Your bag was left on the living room floor, and you were once again stomping out of your apartment unit, only to bump your face into Choi Beomgyu. “Whoa,” he remarked, quickly grabbing onto your shoulders. “Where are you going?”
“Out.” You shoved yourself off him.
“Someone’s cranky,” he mused, trailing behind you as you continued bulldozing down the hallway, down the stairs, out the building and on the dim and chalky path towards the playground. Beomgyu kept chattering. “What’s up? Why are you mad? Did you leave something behind in the classroom? Okay, you aren’t talking to me. That’s fine. I was gonna ask you what flowers you wanted for our graduation ceremony, but I guess I’ll just pick and choose whatever I—”
Smack!
You’ve spun around. You’ve got his face smacked in between your palms, promptly shutting him up. His eyes flew open, mouth firmly and tightly closed. “Can you stop talking for a second?” you guttered out.
Beomgyu stared at you, eyes still wide, then nodded once, still sandwiched between your palms. You bit down your bottom lip. Your ribcage was starting to squeeze in on itself. “Sorry,” you mumbled, arms falling back to your sides and you resumed your march towards the playground. 
He stayed silent for the rest of the time, following you on the see-saws and the both of you exchanged ups and downs for a few moments— quiet moments— until you were the one to break it.
“Hey, fuckface,” you called out,
“What do you want, dipshit?” he replied.
“Remember when I hauled your ass to the emergency room after you broke your leg at the skatepark in 9th grade?”)
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YOUR MORNING STARTED OFF NICELY. It’s the first day back to uni after your one week break. You woke up before your alarm and had the time to make a really stir-fried rice meal for breakfast (your first breakfast in a week, mind you). Your clothes are fresh from the dryer, mascara unclumpy, and you arrive at the bus stop at the same time as your bus to campus arrives, right on the dot. 
Today is going great. That is until Heeseung shows up at the library after sending you a text that he’s on the way, and ruins everything with one, single statement.
“Did you sleep with Beomgyu the other night?”
The orange juice you’re drinking nearly dribbles out of your mouth.
“What the fuck?”
Your voice is louder than you thought. Heeseung shushes you and sits and pulls out the seat next to yours, ready to explain. “The guys from the coding club blew up the GC last night. A few of them saw you come out of his car and enter his apartment building together last Saturday. I think there were pictures.” Your mouth is agape. You’re speechless. “I didn’t tell them anything! Some of the guys were just around the neighborhood and happened to see you.”
Oh, no. Oh, no no no no no no.
“But, I guess...the blind date went well?”
God, fuck no.
Your worst nightmare has finally come crashing into reality.
“We live in the same building, get your mind out of the gutter!” you hiss, pulling him by the collar. Heeseung is very visibly terrified. You never wanted him to find out about your living situation in the first place because you know that he’d force you to hang out with them whenever he’s crashing at Beomgyu’s. You’re starting to regret hitting up a conversation with him during the orientation. These men are the banes of your existence. “Who is it? Who the fuck is spreading that stupid fucking rumor?”
“Please let go of me,” he squeaks out. You grunt, releasing the fabric of his shirt. He takes in a breath and fixes his clothes. “I’m not a snitch. Sorry.”
Heeseung is avoiding your eyes. He’s twiddling with the top button of his button up, nervously pressing together his lips. You run through the members of their “coding club” (it’s just a cover so they can play games in a cushy campus office). It doesn’t take long for you to come up with a name.
“Yang Jeongin.” Your friend’s panic tells you that you’re on the nail. 
“He only sent the photo!” he quickly exclaims. “He never said that you two were hooking up or anything! Please, spare him, please—”
So much for a perfect morning. It’s not even nine and you’re already fucking drained.
You let out a groan, massaging your temples and balancing yourself with your elbows on the study table. Heeseung is spewing out a million apologies and you’re not taking shit. “You’re not gonna go to our clubroom and destroy our computers, right?”
“Thanks for the idea.”
“You’re a demon,” he grumbles. “What’s the big deal, anyway? You yourself said you and Beomgyu didn’t fuck. But you two went home together and you haven’t complained about him yet. That means your date went really, really—”
“Can you please just quit it?!” 
That’s it. You’ve had enough. You shoot up from your seat, quickly gathering your things before you actually start throwing punches. “I’m sick and tired of hearing his name!” Heeseung gulps. He quickly scoots away to evade your haphazardly swinging bag. “Why the fuck do you all keep mentioning that piece of shit? It’s like everyone’s obsessed with him, it’s like everyone wants a chance to ride on his di—”
The words get cut off. Because when you turned around to make your leave, Choi Beomgyu was right there, behind you, and you bump into him and his blank face of terror.
“Oh.”
Yang Jeongin is also there, looking mildly scared of you.
But you’re more horrified than anyone in this hall.
Hiccup!
Your face flushes, searing hot and visibly enflamed.
“I, uh—” hiccup! “I’m about to leave anyway so you guys can—” hiccup! “—shit, fuck, fucking hell—”
You quickly swerve away, head down, but an arm swooshes over to barricade your exit path. There’s a water bottle in front of your heated face. Your line of sight follows towards the owner of the arm. Beomgyu is looking at you straight in the eye.
“Drink some water first.”
Hiccup!
Fuck, this is so embarrassing.
“Whoa. She’s so fast.”
The three boys watch your speedily retreating figure, pausing once or twice because of a hiccup, but your pace is still abnormally fast as you escape from the premises. There is no trace of you, save for the orange juice container you’d been drinking since earlier.
“There’s this tension between the two of you, you know.” Beomgyu turns his head to Heeseung who made the observation, a single eyebrow raised. “Do you two really live in the same building, or is she just making up an excuse? Seriously. Tell me how it went with you two. I was the one who set you up. I think I have the right to know.”
Beomgyu holds back a snort. He leans closer to Heeseung, a subtle smile playing on his lips. “You wanna know?”
Heeseung’s eyes sparkle. “Dude, I’m dying of curiosi—”
Smack!
“That’s none of your business.”
Beomgyu swipes the juice box from the table and promptly leaves the library despite the protests of his two friends. Out in the hallway, he doubts he could catch up to you after running away like a white collar convict, but who knows? He might get lucky— just like last Saturday.
“Hey, dude, wait up!”
An arm is hooked around his neck, and he gets pulled down with a grunt. He might be unable to catch up to you, but his friends definitely can with him. Now all his chances are gone, slipping out of his fingers like the juice container that he drops when caught between Heeseung and Jeongin shoving each other around, and it’s now completely lost upon the arrival of the people from his major.
“Hey, classes are canceled.”
“What are we having for lunch?”
“Are we having a practice run later for the festival?”
“Wait, I have to update my story— hey, look at the camera!”
They talk, but it’s all white noise. He gets carried off by static for the rest of the day. He hopes to bump into you when he gets home, but Beomgyu doesn’t even know what time you usually get home.
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All the years you’ve spent mastering the perfect bitch face have finally come to fruition when you visited the programming club during lunch to make sure none of the bullshit they’re speculated escapes their clubroom doors. They all apologized— apparently Beomgyu also told them to quit their gossiping. 
However not even fear can stop an inherently stupid man. Because the next day, Minjeong suddenly tells you, “hey, I didn’t know you and Choi Beomgyu were a thing!”
Now, which rat managed to slip through the door crack?
“No, we’re not,” you scrunch your nose. “Where did you get that from?”
From a friend of a friend of a friend, she says. Sungchan asked you the same thing earlier. So did some guy from one class whom you don’t even know the name of. Your head is hurting. Crap that blind date was a stupid fucking idea. Seriously, why does no one know how to mind their own business? What is it about Choi Beomgyu that people just can’t keep his name out of their mouths? He’s not even a celebrity. He’s just a freshman with a pretty face and the social skills of an annoyingly loud butterfly.
“I’m going home,” you tell her.
“Why? I thought we were having barbecue with the rest of the guys!”
Not when you’re sure you’re gonna be barraged by another slew of questions about your dumb childhood friend. You bid Minjeong goodbye and exit the campus, hopping on the bus back to your apartment with a dead set agenda in mind. You’re going to fix this. You’r gonna bring things back to normal once and for all. So when you arrive at your floor, you don’t make a left like you usually do— you turn to your right and make three hard knocks on the sturdy door.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Choi Beomgyu.”
Knock, knock, knock.
“Beomgyu, are you ho—”
It gets opened sooner than you’re used to.
“Listen. We need to talk,” you quickly start, ignoring the surprise on his face upon seeing you, ignoring the way he almost shuts the door again right into your face. You hold back a scoff, but a sneer manages to sneak out. “Things have gotten messy since last Saturday. You should’ve kept your clubmates in check. What’s the point of acting like we’re strangers when people I don’t know keep asking me if I’m your fucking girlfriend, and Lee Heeseung keeps badgering me about what’s going on between us, and— oh my fucking god. Heeseung is right there.”
Beomgyu’s body is shielding you from the view of his living room. It’s not doing a good job because Heeseung waves at you from inside. Jeongin is there too. You can’t do this anymore. You’re cursed. You’re cursed with a plague called Choi Beomgyu and his ten million friends.
Your shaking eyes flit over back to Beomgyu. He looks panicked. Your heart is threatening to jump out of your throat and shrivel up like a pathetic dried grape.
“Fuck.”
At this point, running away feels like muscle memory to you now.
“Wait, I— hold on. I’ll be back,” you hear him say right before the door clicks and there’s another pair of pattering footsteps down the hallway right behind yours. The rhythm is familiar— a lag by one step, catching up, then slowing down as if he doesn’t want to overtake you all while you bulldoze through the hallway until you reach the flight of stairs, down three floors, and you’re met with the cold wind of the outside.
It’s only now that you realize your lungs are shaking.
“Hey—”
You smack away his attempt to settle a hand on your shoulder, but you’re far too embarrassed to look up and look him in the eye. Your face is burning. It’s been burnt so many times within the span of two weeks and it’s a miracle it hasn’t been charred. “Go away. Go back upstairs,” you sniffle. All you can see is the cement ground and the worn out slippers on his feet.
He stifles out something sort of a sigh. “No.” There’s a tug on the hem of your shirt. You wobble forward. Beomgyu holds onto your arms. You finally snap your head up and see his face. “You said we needed to talk. Let’s talk.”
It’s a little pathetic how you’re so near to breaking into tears. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to.”
“Is that really what you should be saying after completely screwing yourself over?”
“Shut up.” All the strength you had in your legs has been stripped away. Beomgyu is tugging your limp body to your complex’s gazebo with ease. “How could I have known your friends would be there?” you drawl out, allowing yourself to be dragged under its overhead roof.
He settles you down onto the stairs. “Isn’t Heeseung your friend too?”
“Not anymore.” You plop down on the wood, shoulders slacked, legs outstretched. Beomgyu is standing before you with his arms crossed. “From now on, he is nothing to me.”
There’s a frown on his face. “You should’ve called before deciding to blow up like that. I did my best. You’re the one that ruined your whole stranger agenda.”
“Fuck off, I’m still trying to cope.”
You kick out your foot like a child throwing a tantrum, and Beomgyu definitely doesn’t look impressed. He walks up, signaling you to scoot over, and squeezes right next to you on the narrow stair step of the gazebo. 
Shoulders pressed together, he leans slightly forward, elbows on his lap, and all you can see is the side of his face as you incline backwards so you don’t suffocate from the sudden tightness of air. “Am I like, too lame for you, or something,” he suddenly says. You blink once, failing to comprehend his words the first time. When he cocks his head back, you see the look in his eyes— earnest and raw.
You can’t help but crack out a snort.
“I’m— I’m sorry,” you sputter out. Your plaster your hands over your face, trying to suppress your misplaced chimes. “I just didn’t think you could make that kind of face. Wow, you can be serious too, huh?”
“You’re laughing,” he deadpans. “I’m trying to be serious here and you’re laughing.”
“I said I was sorry! Okay, let’s try again, let’s try again.” You clear your throat, sitting up straight and patting your palms on your lap, but something keeps tugging on the corners of your mouth and it’s hard to sit still. “No, you are not ‘too lame’ for me, Beomgyu. Where did that even come from?”
His expression bitters, unconvinced. “Then are you ashamed of me?”
“No.”
“Did I do anything abhorrently wrong?”
“What? No—”
“Am I not cool enough to be considered your friend?”
“Beomgyu, what are you talking about?” It was funny the first time, but now you’re just concerned. “Would I have stuck around your ass for almost twenty years if I thought any of that? Things haven’t been the best between us lately, but I still think we’re friends, Beomgyu, I—”
There’s a crack in your voice. Your face flushes. He’s looking at you so intently that you instinctively drop your head down before prying out the words that’s been lingering in your throat for months overdue.
“I…I hope we still are,” you mutter. “I really do.”
“Then why did you want to act like we’re not?” 
There it is.
“I didn’t want to keep it up for a long time!” you reason. “I just— I just wanted to keep my distance until I’ve adjusted to uni and until I’ve made a few friends of my own because for most of my life, I’ve only been known as the girl who’s always around you and nothing else.”
It takes a gnaw at your pride to be finally saying this out loud. It’s a bitter taste on your tongue— ugly and unpalatable and you’re glad that you won’t ever have to swallow it ever again. 
When you look up, you see Beomgyu make another new face you never expected from him.
“I doubt you noticed how people would only approach me because of you, but I really don’t blame you for anything. It was an unreasonable request and you had every right to be mad. I might have taken it back had we stayed around on the playground for a little longer.” You take a pause. “But then you started acting like a dick to me so I decided to be a dick to you too.”
You expect him to bite back but he doesn’t and it worries you. Shit, maybe you’ve unhauled too much. Maybe this wasn’t the right time be all vulnerable and crap but Beomgyu isn’t telling you you’re a big fucking idiot, so maybe it’s fine.
Instead, he stays quiet for a little longer, your words simmering in the air. 
“I wasn’t just angry. I was hurt,” he finally says. “Like you said, you’ve been with me for all my life and you suddenly tell me to reverse all of that. How the fuck did you expect me to act like you’re nobody when we both know that at this point I can’t live without you.”
Oh.
“Shit.”
Beomgyu’s eyes widen.
“I didn’t mean— I didn’t want to say—” He’s covering the bottom half of his face with his fist. He’s turning his head away as much as he can but you can still see enough to notice. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to say that. Forget about it.”
You lean closer. “Beomgyu, are you crying?”
“No. Fuck off.”
His right shoulder is serving as his shield as you try to dig your nose further, completely turning away from you, but you don’t miss it. You can’t miss it. “Oh my god, you’re crying.” Beomgyu leers back at you ever the slightest. There’s red tinting his eyes. You expect him to scurry off back into the building after that— but, no. Instead, pulls you by the forearm, and lets his head fall onto your shoulder, his forehead pressed firmly down. 
“Eat shit and die,” he mutters in between sniffles. After your initial surprise, you lift up the arm he isn’t grabbing onto to give him a few pats on the back, circles over his shoulder blades, and you stay like that for a while, for maybe too long because the sky is now darker than when you first went outside.
“Beomgyu,” you start.
“What do you want?” he muffles, as if he isn’t still draped over you like an oversized rag.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was selfish and inconsiderate.”
You hear him sniffle again. Heeseung wouldn’t believe you if you tell him Choi Beomgyu is actually a big baby. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize the way other people were treating you,” he says. “I can’t help being such a cool guy that you get overshadowed, you know. So I’m not sorry for that— ow! Ow, what the heck!”
You pry him off by the hair. You’re sure a few strands got plucked off, but a realization you didn’t expect to glean from this was the fact that his stupid shaggy hair is actually really soft. “I think this is enough. We should head back.”
In spite of his complaining, Beomgyu trails behind you when you stand up and dust yourself before making your way back inside. It’s still quiet, save for the hisses and grunts and swears whenever Beomgyu would step on your shoes, whenever he’d bump into you and feign innocence, whenever he’d get on your nerves immediately after just reconciling with you. 
It’s annoying. It’s annoying and it’s better than everything that’s been these past three months.
“Are you twelve?” you shoot him a glare, ready to punch in your door code before you get the urge to punch him instead.
“Come inside,” he tells you, nosing at his side of the apartment. “Let’s watch a movie.”
You raise a brow and cross your arms. “All of a sudden?”
“Yeah.” He mimics your pose. “Got a problem with that?”
You roll your eyes, but somehow you’re now a few steps away from your front door, and are now a few steps closer to his. “I do have a problem with it. Your fucking friends are in there.”
“I’ll deal with them.”
“Wow,” you snort. “So reliable.”
Still, you follow. Beomgyu twists his door knob and you’re suddenly nervous for the possible bullshit Heeseung would barrage you about your relationship with Beomgyu, but that doesn’t happen. The moment Beomgyu cracks open the door, his voice bounces around the inside of his apartment’s walls. “Anyone who doesn’t leave after the count of five will be banned from my apartment forever. Five. Four—”
Holy crap. You’re more surprised to see it actually work because Heeseung and Jeongin who’d been laying on the floor and tinkering with their playstation controllers have suddenly catapulted from the ground. “Wait, what about her?!” Heeseung protests as he’s being shoved by Jeongin out the door.
“She’s exempted,” Beomgyu responds. “Three. Two—”
“Whatever’s going on between you two, I take credit! You better spill the beans tomorrow. I can’t stand—”
“One.” 
With that, the door is shut.
Quiet washes over. Beomgyu turns to face you. “Good?” he asks. You give him a pat on the head.
“Good.” He’s like a puppy, you think, and retract your arm before spinning around to look around his living space. “What are we watching?”
It’s your first time inside, and the first thing you notice is how freaking dark it is inside his apartment. The windows are covered by blackout curtains, the television’s blue light and the light bulb from the kitchen island being the only light sources inside. You take the liberty to plop down on the floor in front of the sofa, further welcoming yourself to turn off the game the two were playing to scroll through Netflix.
“Remember the movie we got in trouble for watching?” Beomgyu rouses. He’s in the kitchen and cracking open the cupboards. “It was in eighth grade, I think.”
“The one that our parents thought was porn?” you question. Anyone would have thought it was porn with the word Bodies and the 18+ label on the CD case. “I don’t really recall the plot.”
“Me neither. All I can remember were your pissbaby screams.” 
“I was fourteen!”
He throws you a bag of chips and settles down right next to you. “Yeah, and so was I. Gimme the remote, scaredy cat.”
This guy is a perpetual test on your patience, but you continue to let him test you anyway. Before long, the television is shrouded by the familiar graphic imagery that scared you shitless early into your teenhood, and Beomgyu’s warmth is seeping into your side. His face is outlined by the bright red douses onscreen, melting into the contours of his face. “What are you looking at?” he asks, eyes absentmindedly still on the screen, hand mechanically digging into the bag of chips resting on your lap. “Don’t tell me you’re still scared? Wow, what a baby.”
“Coming from you? Your eyes are still red, Beomgyu. Your big baby tears have stained my shirt.” You swat his hand away. A creak rips out from the speakers. “Maybe you’re the one acting all tough.” Suspenseful music builds up. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell your friends and fans that the great Choi Beomgyu is actually— eek!”
There’s a jumpscare. And Beomgyu is laughing his ass off as you unbury your face from his shoulders, ungripping the wrinkled fabric of his shirt with a sharp glare and flushed cheeks. “Not a single word from your whore mouth,” you warn. He’s grinning like crazy as he looks down at you. 
“You haven’t changed a bit.”
“Neither have you,” you sneer, trying to play off how you flinched at the sudden loud noise from the screen, but he’s probably noticed. How could he not notice every jitter from your bones when your legs are practically tangled together, when he keeps reaching out an arm over you to steal from the chip bag you keep nestled on your side away from him. 
The next moments are filled with nothing but the noise of guts ripping, limps splattering, and blood-curdling screams. 
“Can we watch something else?!”
“No way. Quit being lame and suck it up.”
Yet— in spite of the jumps and squirms and suppressed squeaks from your person— you haven’t felt this comfortable in months.
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YOU DON’T LIKE CHOI BEOMGYU. You don’t like how much of your time he’s wasted. You don’t like how much of your pride he’s forced you to swallow. You don’t like how much of your identity he’s inadvertently stripped away.
You don’t like him for all those things, but here you are— dressed in his department’s colors, carrying a sign with his stupid face printed on, and waiting for the past thirty god damned minutes because he was supposed to be here ages ago for the stupid fucking E-Sports Fest that you’re not even remotely interested in.
If you don’t show up in five, I’m going home, you angrily mash on your phone. You’re risking it all here. If Heeseung sees you in this traitor outfit, he’s going to give you the silent treatment for a week. The bastard still owes you two more weeks of lunch to repent. You can’t lose the upper hand. You can’t lose your leverage.
Your phone buzzes. Had to piss. Be there in a bit, his reply says.
“I don’t need to be informed about your bladder activities, you freak,” you grumble to yourself. Your bright orange ensemble has been catching unwanted attention. That or his face on your sign. Any minute longer, you’re going to bury yourself alive.
“Excuse me.”
You feel a tap on your shoulder. You turn around and see an unfamiliar face. He’s wearing the same shirt color as you. “Are— are you friends with Choi Beomgyu?” he asks. The bastard has collected another fanboy. You feel a throb in the side of your head.
“Yes. Yes, I’m fucking friends with Choi Beomgyu. What about it? What do you want?”
“Whoa, there.” 
The said bastard swoops in and swings an arm over your shoulder and presses you to his side. “Sorry about that,” he tells the guy. Your sneer deepens. Beomgyu gives you a subtle pinch on the arm. “My friend is just grumpy because we lost a game to the engineering department earlier. Anyway, how can I help you?”
Orange number two wanted to ask for a picture with him because he was so cool in the Sudden Attack match earlier. Beomgyu excuses himself for a moment and they take a quick photo. “Tangerines are supposed to look pretty, you know,” your stupid friend announces once he gets back to you. You start making your way to the venue for his next match. It’s in a closed classroom. There’s a projector screen outside to livestream it. “Quit scowling. You’re scaring the kids.”
“That’s the plan,” you tell him. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head.
“If you keep acting like that, I might get the wrong idea,” he says. You look at him. There’s a subtle smile on his face and you don’t like it. “It’s like you only want me for yourse— ow! Joking! Joke— it was a joke! Jeez.”
“Go win, or whatever.” You shove him off seeing that you’ve arrived. It’s already pretty crowded. You’re scanning the area for a good spot to squeeze into.
“I better be hearing your cheers from inside the classroom.”
“Don’t bet on it,” you send him off with a smile. “If you lose, I’m unfriending you.”
“Not the first time you’d be doing it.”
“Fuck off. Good luck.”
He nods with a salute and an expression that mirrors yours before disappearing off into the classroom, and you’re left with two dozen bodies uncomfortably wedged in the hallway just to watch him play a game you don’t even know the god damned rules for. 
You don’t like Beomgyu. His face is something you’re sick of seeing after nearly twenty years of being stuck with him.
You don’t like him. Not even when he seems to always pick you despite having a million other options. Not even when he single-mindedly bulldozes straight into you despite having a whole army cheering for him on the sides after he’s won another game for his department, waiting for your praise and the usual swears you spit on his face with a bright smile.
“Congrats, fuckface,” you say, receiving him in your arms as he engulfs you in a tight hug. You give him a few pats on the back for good measure.
“You’re treating me to dinner, dipshit,” he grins, pulling away, but keeping a hold of your shoulders.
“Spoiled brat,” you sneer.
You don’t like him. He keeps buzzing around you like an immortal mosquito that just doesn’t die even after being swatted away tens of thousands of times. 
“Only to you,” he hums, looping an arm around your neck and starting dragging you along forward. “Let’s go. I’m hungry.”
You don’t like Choi Beomgyu. 
“Where do you wanna eat?”
You don’t. You really don’t.
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모기 / MOGI. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.
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onlyhereforthestories · 2 months
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Bumpy History - Part 1 (Aitana x Reader)
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I have just finished a placement for UNI and the first thing I wanted to do was relax and write and so I did. Here is something that I started ages ago and finally finished. Two more parts of this to come!
Being a dual citizen wasn’t easy in the profession you were in, being born in the US to a Spanish mother and an American father also made life a little complicated. You had grown up moving back and forth between the two countries and so you never really felt like one was home over the other. The problem was you were being called up to the under-18s of both national team squads right now due to your performances for your college team.
Deciding that you felt more comfortable in Spanish culture and knowing that you had no plans to go to university in the US after you finished college you decided Spain was the country you were going to commit yourself to. This is where you met Aitana.
She was one of the best players playing for the team when you joined and for some reason you both just couldn’t get on, you were convinced she hated you. It was like she saw you and decided that you were someone who wasn’t worth the time of day. This meant that you didn’t fit in, everyone else looked up to the girl and you were seen as an issue.
This didn’t stop you from playing and playing well. You scored a goal on your debut and got a couple of assists on your first start for the team, one of those assists was for an Aitana goal. It was the first time you both went within arm’s length of each other. It was brief and you could see the realisation dawn on her face when she registered who she was hugging.
After that first time, you went back to the States and continued with your studies. You only ever thought of the woman when camps were coming up and even then it was a fleeting thought, you wanted to make sure you kept her out of your mind. She obviously didn’t think about you.
Two years later you had been signed by Barcelona straight out of college, you got the call the day you graduated to confirm your place for the next season and you moved back over to Spain the following week. What you didn’t know was that Aitana had also been promoted from the Barca B team to the first team at the same time, a fact that you only found out when you stepped into the coach’s office on your first training session of the season.
“Y/n, thank you for coming in slightly early for this. I want you to meet Aitana, I believe you might already know her from both your Spanish youth team days but as you are both new to the team this year I thought it would be a good idea to have you paired up coming into today. I know joining a new team can be scary so I want you two to look out for each other.” He gave you both a pat on the back as he left the office.
“Hola. It’s good to see you.” As you were now going to be teammates you decided it was time to be a bigger person and offer that metaphorical olive branch. You were adults now, the petty youth nature of ignoring each other surely couldn’t happen anymore.
“Hola” She didn’t look at you but at least she replied. You took this as a good sign, maybe you could get on this time around.
“Shall we go get our new stuff? I don’t want us to be late on our first day.” The smaller woman nodded and followed you into the hall and towards the training room. You couldn’t tell if her quiet nature was due to nerves about being on the team or not wanting to speak to you. You were leaning more towards the latter based on your history.
You both got introduced to the players that you would now call your teammates and started training. By the end of the session, you had spoken confidently to a few of the other women on the team and was happy with how you had settled yourself in. You were worried about this the most when accepting the contract, you had not lived in Spain since you were 13. This meant you felt a disconnect from the culture and the people, a disconnect that you were happy was all in your head. Aitana on the other hand had been quiet and reserved and you didn’t know if you could help her, you didn’t know if you wanted to help her.
It shocked you when you thought about it later that night at home, the woman who had been the top dog, the woman who was so confident in her obvious ability was shy and reserved now even though she had made it. You spent that night thinking about what you should do in this situation, you were torn on whether you should try and help the smaller woman or not.
It had been a good year for you, your debut season had been perfect. You were a starter now and got a good amount of game time, you were the joint top scorer in the league and you had made some wonderful friends on the team. You only had one issue, Aitana. The woman wasn’t necessarily mean to you anymore, she hadn’t been the whole season. Well, not like she was back in your youth days anyway. The shorter woman just didn’t speak to you even when you tried to speak to her. She would avoid being in the same room as you if she could, didn’t pair up with you unless asked to and would always steer clear of you if you were on the same team during training games.
After trying to engage her with your new friends at the beginning of the season, she retreated away even more. It was like she was scared to be around you and that seemed to extend to some of the girls you were closest with.
You just didn’t understand what you had done to make her hate you that much, this is what you were currently explaining to Leila and Patri, two of your best friends on the team. She really must hate you to treat you the way she had back in your youth days and to then go on to ignore you now.
“I just don’t get it, when we first met it was like she hated me just for what I looked like or something because she was horrible before we even really spoke. She was so good and everyone looked up to her so I was just on my own, the little American who shouldn’t be there. Now she just doesn’t say anything, I’m confused. I want to get on with her for the sake of the team at the very least, I see her laughing with some of the other girls and I just don’t know why she can’t do that with me?” It was honestly starting to get to you, you just wanted to know what you did wrong so you could fix it.
“She might just not know how to talk to you because of the fact you have a past. You have two options really, you corner her and make her speak to you or you carry on crushing on her from afar.” Your head whipped to the older woman at that.
“I don’t have a crush, what? I. Shut up.” The two women laughed at you. The fact that you found the midfielder a little attractive was the best thing the two of them had heard in weeks. “I hate you both.”
You walked out onto the balcony of Leila’s apartment where you were currently having a girl's evening. The sun was setting in the distance and you could just about make out a group of girls kicking a ball in the park over the road. You don’t know when it happened and you don’t know why it happened but at some point over the last year, your dislike for the woman from your past had turned into affection.
You were screwed.
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wongyuuu · 9 months
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Way Back Home | jww
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pairing: wonwoo x fem!reader genre: angst, fluff towards the end word count: 6.3k summary: after twelve years apart, you finally meet wonwoo again
warnings: this fic is set in the early 2000's (around 2003) so that's why communication is a little complicated
requests are open
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“So, did the two of you have fun playing this stupid game?” you said as you finally took the call. 
The phone in your hotel room had been ringing for hours now. You were sure that the receptionist hated you. They knew you were in the room but still refused to pick up the call, so Jeonghan had been calling nonstop.
“What are we talking about exactly? You know I’m not a great player at anything really,” Jeonghan said, the humor in his voice evident. The fact that he treated the whole situation as a joke angered you even further. 
You and Jeonghan met while you were still in college, during your final internship before graduation. He was the one you were supposed to report to, and you were his first intern. All of it was a mess from the start, but not too much apparently, as they hired you as a full-time employee and he was in charge of training all the new interns. 
Eventually, Jeonghan got tired of being bossed around and decided to leave. He asked you to work for him and you said yes. That was two years before. Jeonghan was your best friend, the one person you trusted with most aspects of your life. So the fact that he did that, that he send you there without letting you know what you’d find waiting for you, hurt more than you could put into words. 
“You know that coming here meant seeing Wonwoo again,” you murmured, the pain in your voice evident.
You couldn’t get the look on Wonwoo’s face out of your mind. As if it had been engraved in your brain, it played back again and again. He looked at you with pure anger, nothing more. While you felt hopeful and happy, all you felt coming from Wonwoo was hatred. 
The last time you saw him, the two of you were sixteen years old. The worse part of your teenage life and probably the worse year of high school for both of you, until that moment. You often found solace in each other’s arms, in the whispered words spoken in the darkest hours of the night. You were each other’s only friend, the only comfort in those years. He was your best friend, the entire reason you found any strength to get out of bed. He was your lifeline, your safe haven.
And then you had to leave him behind and go to a place that could have been a paradise for you, but you hated it with every fiber of your being. Because sure, that life was a living hell, but at least you had him. And then you didn’t have him anymore, and it didn’t matter how many times you tried to contact him. Phone calls, letters, driving to him. All of it. Everything you could think of. The same way you vanished, so did him.
But there he was, looking so much like the boy you remembered, but at the same time completely different. He was taller than the boy in your memory, the sprout years of a boy really hitting him hard after you left. You couldn’t help but wonder if that happened the summer your parents took you away, or if it was the year after that.
Did he make it to college like he wanted, an architecture degree like yours, or he went for something else? Did he even make it to college at all? Judging by the fact that he stood in front of you, the answer was yes to both questions.
But all the while you were happy, thrilled even, to see him, Wonwoo didn’t seem to share the same feeling. His eyes seemed warm and welcoming once he opened the door, but when he realized that it was you, his entire posture changed. His eyes turned cold and avoided yours.
“I thought it was something you wanted,” Jeonghan said softly, quickly realizing that the issue was much bigger than he anticipated. 
You sighed again, watching the bright pink socks on your feet. 
Seeing Wonwoo again, after so many years, was something you had dreamed of and desired, but not without any sort of preparation. You needed time to think of something to say, how to approach him. Truthfully, you had thought about it so many times, had even thought about it the night you boarded the plane to go to him. But once he was in front of you, you froze in place and everything happened in the exact opposite way of what you expected and wished for. 
“It was, but I don’t think it’s something he wanted, Jeonghan. A relationship, in whichever shape or form, needs two people. Although I wanted something like this, to reconnect and maybe even try to be friends again, he needs to want it too”
Jeonghan wanted to say something but chose to stay quiet. He understood what you meant. Even if he had gotten the impression from Mingyu that seeing you again was something Wonwoo wanted, Jeonghan wasn’t about to defend the guy. 
“Do you want to come home?” you shook your head, knowing that Jeonghan couldn’t see you but sure that your silence would be enough of an answer “It’s your call, you say the word and I’ll get you on the next flight out”
“You know I don’t quit jobs, Jeonghan, so I’ll finish this”
And then you’d go home, to the memories you kept.
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Walking inside the office Wonwoo shared with Mingyu was like leaving the warmth of a blanket and facing the raging snowstorm outside with nothing more than a t-shirt. Where Mingyu was bright and talkative, Wonwoo was cold and silent. 
Not once did he talk to you, or even looked your way. In fact, on most days, the second you walked in, Wonwoo closed his door and wouldn’t leave his office — not even for a bathroom break — while you were there.
“I’m sorry about him. He’s usually quiet but never really like this”
Your entire body shuddered at the loud sound of the door closing. Every day, since you arrived, Mingyu tried to find ways to make excuses for Wonwoo’s behavior. “he’s just shy”, “Wonwoo’s stressed out because of a different project, the client is giving him hell”, “he got drunk last night”. 
You just nodded and pretend to hear whatever it was that Mingyu came up with. All of those were valid reasons to be in a bad mood. You had gone through those emotions more than once. But never had you used those situations as ways to be rude to other people. 
And truthfully, you couldn’t even understand why Wonwoo was acting like that. In the twelve years since you last saw each other, it has been your dream to see him again. You never expected to pick up your friendship, but you hoped that you could at least be friendly. Clearly, Wonwoo didn’t feel the same way.
“You should have talked to him about it, before bringing me here,” you said as you rolled up the design in front of you “Jeonghan knew my feelings, but I’m guessing that you didn’t know about Wonwoo’s as well as you thought”
Mingyu sighed and looked at his friend’s closed office door. 
“I thought I knew him, that this was something that he wanted”
It didn’t take long for you to discover that Jeonghan and Mingyu worked together on the plan to make you and Wonwoo work together on the same project. It would have been an okay plan if the two of you could stay in the same room for more than twenty seconds. But the moment Wonwoo found out that you would be in the project, he stepped back and Mingyu was doing all the work in his place. 
It wasn’t like Wonwoo didn’t do anything at all while you were there. He worked on other projects. Or just about anything that made him stay as far away as possible from you. 
“I’m going to work on these at the hotel, okay?” you raised the tube in your hands and smiled “He probably needs to pee or eat at this point”
Mingyu watched as you grabbed your purse and waved goodbye once you reached the door. Less than a minute later, the door to Wonwoo’s office opened and he walked out, after quickly making sure that you were nowhere to be seen. He stretched his arms to the sides and then slowly above his head before heading to the bathroom. 
“Until when exactly will you keep doing this?” Mingyu asked once Wonwoo left the bathroom. He watched as his friend sat in the same spot you were just a few minutes before and went through the blueprints you worked on. His fingers traced the words you had written, slightly smudging them
“Why are you over here longing over a drawing when you could be talking to her, understanding what actually happened back then?”
Wonwoo shook his head.
“You brought her here, you deal with her. If we talk, it won’t be pretty” 
Twelve years' worth of hurt and anger that had been carefully tucked away had been brought back to the surface the second he saw you. He had seen you before you saw him. He was at the window looking at the people moving across the street, hurrying here and there when he saw you. Your face briefly glanced at the notebook in your hands before looking around, as if you were looking for something or someone. It didn’t take him long to realize that you were looking for a place, and that place was exactly where he was. 
Shock, dread, and something else he hadn’t felt in years crept into his body as he watched in absolute horror as you greeted Mingyu, a bright smile on your face. A smile that dropped when you saw him. 
Even from across the room, Wonwoo could tell that your eyes filled with tears, your lips forming his name without ever making a sound. The tears gave room to hope as you smiled at him. Mingyu, who was in front of you talking excitedly, was completely forgotten for a moment.
Still, Wonwoo couldn’t share that happiness with you.
“So you’re going to hold over her head something that happened when the two of you were sixteen?”
“Yeah” was all Wonwoo said.
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By the end of week two, you were exhausted and had had enough of Wonwoo pretending that you didn’t exist and Mingyu making excuses on his behalf. 
You made excuses for him as well. 
Wonwoo, as a teenager, was someone who needed time to understand certain situations and come up with a plan. When talking to Mingyu about him, you understood that part of his personality hadn’t changed. So you gave him time, plenty of it. Tried to not feel hurt over it, all the ways he avoided you, how Mingyu was the one working with you when Wonwoo should be the one doing it. 
But enough was, eventually, enough, and you handled it as best as you could, for as long as you could. The project was far from being done. If you were optimistic and everything went according to plan, there was still a month of work to be done.
“Is that door locked?” you asked Mingyu once you walked inside the office.
Mingyu looked over his shoulder at Wonwoo’s door and at his friend through the glass door. Although he looked focused on whatever it was that he was doing, he was way more concerned about everything that was happening outside.
“Go crazy,” he answered with a smile.
Setting your bag where you usually sat, you marched to Wonwoo’s office. He merely looked at you over his glasses before looking back at his computer.
“I’m busy right now”
“I don’t actually give a fuck” you pushed the screen of his computer until it was closed in front of him “I’ve given you two weeks, allowed you to treat me like shit but I’ve had enough of that”
He leaned back in his chair, a condescending smile on his lips, and he had never quite looked so handsome before.
You tried your best not to stare at him too much, but he was all man now. Every time you looked at him, your heart did the same thing it did when you were a teenager. You tingled everywhere, but you still held yourself back from reaching for him. Just for a second, you wanted to hold his hand and feel his skin against yours.
However, the wall Wonwoo built in front of you was so high that you felt like you were wrong just from breathing in the same room as him.
“I know it’s been twelve years, and I don’t expect things to be how they used to be, but I thought that if this day ever happened, we would at least be friendly. Why are you treating me like this?”
“You left, you couldn’t possibly expect things to be different from what they are now”
Wonwoo was right. You left, but even after twelve years, it was still the hardest thing you ever did. And it was the one thing you had absolutely no control over. You were sixteen and your dad hated Wonwoo so much that he found a job in a different city, so you would move somewhere else.
You found out about it a couple of days before it actually happened. You and Wonwoo came up with a plan to keep in touch until you were eighteen and finally free to do whatever you wanted.
Phone calls are just for emergencies, you and Wonwoo agreed, so let’s communicate through letters, I’ll send the first one because I still don’t know exactly where they’re taking me but we can go back and forth after that.
For months you wrote letters that were never answered, but you thought that delivery was bad and nothing more. Only realizing that something was off once when you started to get the letters back. There was no hint of them being ever opened and the stamp recipient refused correspondence in bright red. 
Then the phone calls started. She asked Jihoon, a friend from school, to make the call, afraid that if whoever answered heard her voice, they would call her dad. The calls were always made in the specific hours Wonwoo instructed you but he was never there to answer.
“You’re right, I left. But what I can’t understand is why you’re acting like this when you were the one who never answered”
An incredulous laugh left Wonwoo’s mouth as he got up. He was still taller than you, the different bigger than in your memory. His shoulders got broader too. Your hands shook as you pushed them inside the pockets of your jacket.
“I never answered because you never wrote or called”
You shook your head, stepping back and hitting the glass wall behind you. You looked over your shoulder for a second to find Mingyu staring at you, probably listening to every word you said.
“For two years I wrote to you, every week as we planned, and every single time the letters were returned to me. I had a guy from school call your house every other week but you never once picked up the call. We had to stop when your brother started to think that you were in trouble” 
The same condescending smile was still on his lips. Wonwoo didn’t believe you, not for a second. There were no letters, no phone calls. You had never tried to reach him in any way.
“You never really cared, y/n. Be honest with me, I was just the guy who gave you some attention when you lacked it from your parents. I’m sure the guy from school you mentioned was happy to fill in for me”
Your entire body shook, out of hurt and anger. You wanted to lash out at him, scream or something, anything at all, that would make him understand. But he was convinced and if he was still anything like the boy you knew, there was no chance of convincing him.
You turned your back to him, your shaky fingers reaching for the door handle. You rested your head on the door for a second, trying your best to push the air back into your lungs.
“You were my best friend” you whispered, so low that Wonwoo almost missed it “You were the most important person in the world to me. There was only you”
You pulled the door open and stepped outside. You were never one to cry in front of people, even if that was all you wanted but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop once Mingyu was in sight again. Or at least a very blurry version of him.
“y/n…” Mingyu reached for you, his hand on your shoulder. And then he felt it, your body shaking so violently that it surprised him that he couldn’t see it happening “Let me drive you back”
You shook your head, stepping away from his touch. Mingyu was nice and kind, his presence was the only source of comfort amidst Wonwoo’s coldness. He did his best to make you feel welcomed but he couldn’t do anything for you anymore.
“I can just call a taxi” you pushed away the tears away and tried to smile at him, trying to assure him, “I’m fine, don’t worry”
Only when you were on the other side of the street, you allowed yourself to let out the sobs that were stuck in your throat. Everything hurt, but most of all, your heart was shattering into a million different pieces once again.
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Throughout the entire weekend Wonwoo felt uncomfortable in his own skin, something that hadn’t happened to him in many years. 
He didn’t expect the way you left his office to affect him so much, or at all, to be honest. What he said to you was part of the little speech he practiced over the years, in case he ever saw you again. What he didn’t practice was the part where you cried and said that you tried to contact him for years.
He realized he was wrong when he saw the shock on your face. He started to think that maybe the things he believed for years were lies 
So he did the only thing that he could think of. He stayed inside his car, outside the hotel you were staying at, building up the courage to get out and talk to you.
It was awfully hard, Wonwoo realized, to admit that he was wrong for so many years. And it was even a little embarrassing to think that he didn’t need any convincing at all. When Mingyu barged into his office, Wonwoo was already fully convinced that he was, in fact, wrong.
He watched as you left the building with nothing but a wallet and your phone and went to the coffee shop on the other side of the street.
“She used to hate coffee,” he said to himself.
He felt like a stalker, watching you in secret. But that feeling wasn’t enough to shake him. He was okay with being a creep for a little while if it meant making sure that you were alright.
Your eyes seemed a little puffy and you looked down at your phone for a second before pressing it to your ear. You were quiet for a moment before you spoke to whoever was on the line. You were on the phone the entire time you waited for your drink.
Wonwoo felt a sharp pain in his chest as the frown on your face eased and a small smile appeared on your lips.
It had never occurred to him that you could have been in a relationship, that there was someone in your life. He was so focused on the memory of you, that he let go of the person in front of him.
“We’ll talk on Monday” he promised himself “Let’s calm down for now”
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Weekends usually went by quickly for Wonwoo, much to his disappointment. He used to love to be by himself, in his apartment, watching TV, or sleeping. 
But that one weekend, in specific, dragged on and on. Never before was he so desperately waiting for Sunday to end. He purposely got to the office later than usual. Wonwoo wanted to make sure that you were already there. He wanted to apologize and maybe have a decent conversation with you for a change, one that didn’t end with you crying.
Wonwoo felt a tingle of disappointment when he noticed that you weren’t anywhere to be seen. Instead, going over the blueprints you were working on friday was a man he had never seen before. 
“Ah, Wonwoo” Mingyu said “This is Jeonghan, y/n works for him”
Jeonghan stood up and reached out to shake Wonwoo’s hand. 
“It may be my name on the door, but she’s the soul of the firm, so I’d say that I work for her”
His smile looked innocent enough, but Wonwoo knew better and it was obvious why Jeonghan was there. You had left.
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“Can we talk?” Jeonghan asked from the door.
He didn’t wait for Wonwoo’s answer and walked in without an invitation.
Wonwoo watched him quietly all morning. The way he interacted with Mingyu, how he moved around the office. It was easy to see personality traits being shared by the two of you, from the way the two of you used the same wording in a sentence to how he even moved around the office.
Wonwoo wondered if he was the person you had been talking with on the phone on Saturday.
“Sure”
Jeonghan moved to sit on the chair in front of Wonwoo. The box in his hand never felt heavier.
“I don’t appreciate y/n calling me, in the middle of the night, in panic, begging me to let her go home” he did his best to keep his voice leveled but it was hard to “I’ve known her years and something like this never happened before” 
Wonwoo’s heart felt tight inside his chest as if someone was squeezing it. He didn’t mean it, he didn’t want to hurt you at all he realized. He was filled with regret the moment he spoke. Jeonghan’s words explained why Mingyu said that you had a family emergency and that’s why you left in a hurry because that’s probably what you told him. Needless to say, neither of them believed it. Wonwoo much less, considering your past relationship with your parents.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things to her”
Sighing, Jeonghan put the box in front of Wonwoo.
“These are letters she wrote. She kept them for the past twelve years. I told her many times to throw them away but I was the one who stopped her this time around”
Jeonghan knew that he was going to regret his decision. Once Wonwoo went through them, there was no way he wouldn’t  want to talk to you. Wonwoo stayed quiet as Jeonghan flexed his fingers on the edges of the shoe box, one that Wonwoo remembered all too well.
“You like her”
“From the moment I saw her” Jeonghan answered with a nod, finally pushing the box away from him “But there was never really a place for me, not like that”
He stood, pushing the chair back, putting his hands deep inside his pockets.
“If you hurt her, even if you don’t mean to, I’ll be sure to make you regret that decision every single day for the rest of your life”
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Hi Wonwoo,
On my way here I kept thinking about how I would write that this place sucks, that the school is awful and absolutely no one here talks to me. It was a plan, you know? But if I did that, I would be lying and sounding like a bratty teenager. So I won’t. 
The house Dad found is so cool, there’s a swing set in the back and my room is also nice. School doesn’t seem too bad either and I’ve made friends. There’s this boy, our age, who I share classes with, Jihoon, who I think you’d like. I’m thinking about asking him to call you when I can’t deal with not hearing your voice anymore. Not now, of course, but at some point in the future.
I’ve been gone for three weeks, and I already miss you like crazy. I started to miss you once we were on the road. Not seeing you or talking to you for three weeks is torture. In a way, I guess, my parents are succeeding. I miss the feeling I had waking up, knowing that I would get to see you, that we would go to the woods behind the school and just talk. About anything and everything. 
Sorry this first letter isn’t long, there isn’t much going on and I still don’t know what to say. Also, I’m sorry it took me so long to write. Dad has been paying attention to what I do, so I’ve been trying to keep quiet so he’ll leave me alone.
I miss you a lot,
yn
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Hi Wonwoo,
So, something weird happened today. All the letters I’ve sent so far, six, came back as if you had refused to receive them. Did something happen? I’m sure it’s just a mistake, but I just want to make sure.
Either way, I’ll keep writing, but I’ll ask Jihoon to make the call tomorrow. We’ll come up with a plan so that no one finds out that I’m the one calling. 
Please be there when we call, and please pick up the phone.
I miss you
yh
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Hi Wonwoo,
It’s been months now and I can’t get a hold of you, the letters are still being rejected and the calls too. You’re never there, not even once. 
I keep holding out the hope that your life just changed, for the better. Now you have new friends and a girlfriend so you’re busy with the new life. If that’s the case and that’s why you pushed me away, then it’s fine. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy and if me not being part of your life helps that happiness then I’ll gladly stay away.
But you’re happy, right?
Please find happiness, Wonwoo. In whatever shape or form that you can find. There’s no one else in this world that deserves it more than you. 
I think I’ll keep writing to you, maybe not as often, but I’ll keep writing either way. Even if you don’t think of me as a friend anymore, you’re still that someone for me.
I hope your college plans didn’t change. I really want to see you again. 
I miss you so much. I think I’m going crazy.
yn
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Wonwoo,
I just got back home. It was such a long drive, and it only made me realize that I hate driving more than anything else. I’d just rather either walk or take the bus. But that’s not really important right now.
For the past few years, I’ve written you letters. A lot at first and then fewer as time went by. It’s not that nice to write letters that will be sent back, never read. But still, I wrote, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this one would be the one you’d accept. You never did, though.
So I made a promise to myself that the second I turned eighteen, when my parents couldn’t hold their power of legal guardians over me, I would get inside my car and drive all the way back to you. If he’s going to reject me, then he has to do it in my face. I think I just like being hurt or something, but honestly, you’re the only one that I’d go this far for.
Anyway.
Four days ago it was my eighteenth birthday so I got in my car at two in the morning and drove back to our hometown. I kept thinking about what I would say to you and not a whole lot came to mind. I just wanted to hug you. That’s the only thought that crossed my mind. Even if he rejects me, I’m going to hug him for 5 entire seconds. I’m sort of pathetic, right? 
It’s okay, only you get to see this version of me. Ever.
So I got there and went straight to your house. Your brother, he’s so tall now, was the only one there and he said that you were gone. Left the week before and he didn’t know where you went.
Obviously, I didn’t believe him. If I had a brother and he left, I’d want to know where he went. So I stayed in town for 3 days. I went to the places you’d usually go to, but mostly to the lake. I parked my car as close as possible and slept inside it. Careless, I know. It was also terrifying. But nothing bad happened, so please give me a pass on the lecture.
As expected, I didn’t find you there either. You know, one would think that you’re dead, considering that there’s no way to find you at all. But I also asked if you were alive and the answer was yes and an incredulous laugh so…
After sitting alone in my car for an hour, crying, I came back home. And I made a decision.
I don’t know what you’ll do with your life, if you’re going to the college we agreed on or if you’re going to college at all. Either way, I won’t look for you. I will do my best to never search for your name anywhere (which I have and there was no Jeon Wonwoo anywhere)
This is also the last letter that I ever write to you. There’s no point in writing to someone who will never read what you want to say to them. There’s no point in loving someone who doesn’t love you back. 
Because I do, Wonwoo. I really do love you. Not as just a friend, as in love with you. I remember thinking that you weren’t accepting my letters because you had a girlfriend and nothing hurt more than that. Because I would have chosen you, even if we were to remain just friends. It was always you for me. Or maybe an idolized version of you.
Because now you are forever the love that never was, one that I just never got to live to the fullest.
I’m sorry if my love for you was suffocating.
I’ll stop loving you now and live the college life to the best of my abilities.  
If we see each other by chance, let’s just smile and move on. Let us be a good memory of our teenage years.
yn
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You felt apologetic towards Jeonghan. He was a friend and also your boss, but he was out there covering for you because you couldn’t bring yourself to not care anymore. 
Twelve years since you last saw Wonwoo, ten since the last letter you wrote to him. Three different relationships, with people that were wildly different from him, and at every single turn the guy was compared to him. Without a fault, no one was as good as him. 
And being honest, it was so stupid to compare grown men to the memory of a teenage boy. For all you knew, Wonwoo could have turned into a completely different person. And he did. It just wasn’t a version of him you liked very much.
So maybe, who Wonwoo had grown to be wasn’t someone you would have loved. Maybe him treating you like that was what you needed to finally get him out of your mind.
The love that never was, you remember writing. Perhaps now you could change that thought to the love that never was because it turns out that Wonwoo is a complete asshole.
You looked at your computer screen, reading the e-mail Jeonghan sent you earlier. 
you| If there’s anything I can help you with, please tell me. Also, apologize to Mingyu for me. I was so desperate to leave that I didn’t say bye to him
jeonghan| He says ‘I heard what Wonwoo said, there’s nothing to apologize for’ and you should focus on the projects there. There’s enough to do on your end as well, now that you’re me for the time being
You smiled lightly, closing your laptop and finally pulling the blankets over your legs. Although you were offering to help, you hoped that Jeonghan would tell you not to do anything for now. You felt bad and working was always a coping mechanism for you but the situation somehow felt like a breakup, the worst kind. So all you wanted to do was lay on your couch, watching a romcom, wondering where it had gone so wrong for you.
How stupid it was that you had gotten your heart broken twice, by the same guy, without ever being in a relationship with him? Without ever kissing him? 
“Jeon Wonwoo, always making me look like a fool”
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Somewhere in the middle of the second movie you had fallen asleep but it wasn’t the light from the TV that woke you. It was the never-ending knocking on your door.
With legs that were yet to wake up, you walked to the door, standing on your tiptoes to reach the peephole. You took a step back, the door suddenly on fire under your palms.
Wonwoo.
You didn’t want to answer the door, didn’t want to fight with him once again because you knew you’d lose. You’d just let him scream, say whatever acid words he had saved for you.
“Please, y/n, open the door. I know you’re in there, I can hear the TV and I see your shadow from under the door”
You leaned your head against the door, the tears already running freely down your cheeks. You did such a good job of not crying. The six hours of crying sessions, that led to the worst migraine ever known to man, had been enough. You decided that you had no more tears left to cry for Wonwoo. And yet there you were, crying over his voice, over the fact that he was at your door, somehow.
“Go away, Wonwoo, please”
“Can you, at least hear me out? You don’t have to open the door at all. Just please, please, hear me out. You can tell me to fuck off later. OK?”
He took your silence as a positive answer. Wonwoo took a deep breath before he started.
“I never got your letters, not one of them. I didn’t reject them as you said, I would have never done that. If there was anything I wanted when I was sixteen was to hear from you. I didn’t know about the phone calls either. If I can be honest, there was once a brief mention of a call to me but nothing other than that and by that point, I was already angry enough to not care. I thought that your parents were holding you back, somehow, from contacting me. So I kept waiting and waiting. I asked at school if they had gotten letters under my name. I thought that maybe you were scared to send the letters to my house but there was nothing there either.
“And with time, I got hurt and angrier and then hurt some more. That silence was like a confirmation of what everyone used to think, but it came from you. And that hurt more than anything else because you were the one person who ever saw me as someone who mattered too. I’m sorry I said those things to you, I really am, you don’t know how sorry I am. I regretted saying them the second the words left my mouth. The last thing I ever want is to hurt you”
There was a pause and a soft knock on the door and, somehow you just know that Wonwoo was crying too. A quiet sob a second later was all the confirmation you needed. You had never seen him cry before. Even back then, while talking about things that obviously hurt him, Wonwoo would still keep that serene and peaceful look in his eyes. Hearing him cry was breaking your heart all over again, in ways that you weren’t even aware were possible. Your fingers moved to the door handle, and you unlocked it, pulling it open.
Wonwoo’s eyes and nose were red, tear paths running down his cheeks. 
Without thinking about it, you stepped outside and wrapped your arms around his waist, your head pressed against his chest. The sound of his heart beating wildly brought some sort of comfort, like listening to this one song you’ve been waiting for your entire life, the one that was always in the back of your mind and you could never quite find it. Until you did. 
It was right there, the sound of his beating heart.
It felt like home.
He was home.
“Look at me,” Wonwoo asked, his voice barely a whisper. 
You looked up at him, your chin on his chest. You refused to take a step back. 
The small smile that overtook your lips was unstoppable once you saw the look in Wonwoo’s eyes. Long gone was the look of pure hatred that he had on that first day. He was suddenly the Wonwoo you knew again.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his fingertips brushing against your cheeks, pushing away the last of your tears, and then his lips were on your cheeks, then your forehead “I’m sorry we lost eleven years, I would do anything to get them back”
You brought his hand to your lips, placing a soft kiss on his knuckles.
“Let’s do our best to not lose the next twelve then”
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a/n: thank you for reading! reblogs, comments and likes are always welcomed
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wnobin · 3 months
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BIT BY BIT… 💭 anton lee socmed! au
pairing: college student! anton x campus crush! reader
genre: college! au, social media! au with written portions, slow burn, pining, strangers to friends to lovers.
series synopsis: in which the quiet girl in anton’s language class who seems to never sit with anyone catches his attention. anton makes it his mission to get closer to her bit by bit and break down her walls. the only issue? she’s the last to arrive and first to leave, never allowing anton the chance to approach her.
series masterlist | 09: eunseok’s toothbrush
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chaewon was currently dragging you by your ear, your whines echoing in the empty corridors as eunchae rubbed her eyes, still tired from the events of last night. events, which consisted of the two of you finishing a whole container of melatonin gummies while watching monsters inc. “it’s literally 1pm and practice starts at 12! it’s your first time meeting the team and you’re gonna start off with a bad impression?”
“i already know eunseok, sungchan and shotaro so it’s not exactly my first time, is it?” you held your ear that was stinging with pain when chaewon finally let go of it, who was now choosing to now drag you and eunchae by your hands into the gymnasium. the three of you were met by the sight of the team members resting by the bleachers and downing their waters, but what caught your eye was your brother and his roommate wrestling on the ground while someone else was videoing it. “what was that about us leaving a bad impression on… them?”
“oh god, not again. y/n, can you grab your brother, i’ll get the other one.”
“how long have you been using my toothbrush?!”
“too long to remember!”
holding in your laughter, you grabbed eunseok by his shoulders and mustered all the strength you had to pry him away from sungchan, who was being held back by chaewon telling shotaro to put his phone down and help her.
“were you losing? seriously, eunseok?”
anton wasn’t paying attention to the fight that was happening in front of him, used to the sight of the two roommates bickering and eventually making up after ten minutes. until he heard a familiar voice, a voice he only ever heard during japanese 101. his head immediately snapped up, eyes no longer glued to his phone screen and instead watching a whining eunseok push your hands away while you laughed. “c’mon y/n, he was using my toothbrush! for god knows how long! let me beat him up!”
seunghan lifted his head at the same time, recognising your voice and elbowing anton’s side excitedly. the younger male simply watched the sight in silence, mouth hanging open slightly in shock.
oh my god. what are you doing here? are you dating eunseok? how do you know eunseok? you’re the new team manager and the captain’s girlfriend? oh god.
a million thoughts raced through anton’s mind, blocking out the sound of chaewon scolding the two roommates for fighting each other and also shotaro for filming and not stopping it. all he could focus on was how wide you were smiling, smiling at eunseok and sungchan.
“anton? hello, earth to anton?” sohee waved his hands in front of anton’s face, bringing him back to reality, the rest of his team going over to chaewon who was about to introduce the new team managers. as much as he wanted to crawl into a hole and die, anton had to act like everything was fine and took a deep breath before joining the rest of his friends.
“as i told you guys, you’ll be getting not one, but two team managers that’ll help you guys out after i graduate. this is eunchae, a first year majoring in early childhood education,” the shorter girl gave a lazy wave to the team, anton recognised her from some of his classes, but they had never interacted before. he turned to look at sohee who had excitedly greeted her, raising an eyebrow to which sohee simply mouthed the word ‘spanish’. “and this one over here is y/n, a first year majoring in nursing so she’ll be the one taking care of you guys when you get injured.”
“she’s also our captain’s little sister, so do be nice to her!”
eunseok’s little sister? anton couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but it didn’t sound all that unbelievable. you and eunseok were both rather tall, and the more he looked at you, he could see the resemblance between you two. same eyebrows and same nose.
you waved at the team but you were looking in anton’s direction, your eyes on him. at this point, his mind had gone blank and he was just absentmindedly waving back at you with the most dazed look on his face. “do you know anton?” eunseok asked, noticing the way you only looked at the youngest in the team. “yeah, we’re in the same japanese class.”
“japanese class? doesn’t anton have a cr—“
before sungchan could finish his sentence, wonbin clasped a hand over his mouth and dragged him away from the conversation, saying they had to go to the bathroom, before he revealed anton’s secret. seunghan who was trying to hold in his snickers eventually couldn’t hold it back anymore, erupting in laughter alongside sohee who was losing it too. everyone else seemed equally as confused as to why sungchan was dragged away mid-sentence and why seunghan and sohee were close to tears while anton looked like his soul just left his body.
he wasn’t sure if he should be thankful or not that you were his sister, and not his girlfriend. but one thing that he was thankful for was the fact that both you and your brother were just as oblivious as each other.
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taglist (closed due to the limit!): @andromedawillburyyou @imsiriuslyreal @beckiiee00 @dreamiestay @babigriin @kyusqult @eumppappaswife @sserafilms @annswwa @lecheugo @llearlert @nyuoqi @thesunoosshining @yangasm @mmsriza @myizhuos @miyawakiblossoms @hyucksdelicate @ilovejungwonandhaechan @snowyseungs @soobiary @ilovejaketoomuch @cla1r20 @darlingz99 @chiiyuuvv @lilacarat @ohmykwonsoonyoung @sonjuyeonnie @nicholasluvbot @haechology @luvnicho @numberonetaleprince @addores @revehosh @jscvhs @istphanie @b-riize @miszes @shnnzsworld @ppoddorii @cowsmicwu @kiwigyuu @chuutaroo @dcvvr @delulu4soobs @l0ve-joy @ffixtionista @would-bee @renjuneoo
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wayfaringhoax · 1 year
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Riddles
Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Female Reader
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Click here for part two
Word count: 12k+
Summary: You and Frankie become ‘friends with benefits’ until you evolve into something more. But when you can’t seem to communicate your needs, you find yourselves in uncharted territory.
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: 18+ Minors Do Not Interact
Explicit sexual content (p in v, female receiving oral, dirty talk, semi-public sex, sexting, sending nude photos), references to sex scattered throughout, swearing, unhealthy relationships, making each other jealous, communication issues, discussions of low self-esteem, conflicted emotions, angst, possessive! Frankie, reader wears Frankie’s t-shirt, consumption of alcohol, references to religion and drugs (purely for metaphorical purposes), public discussions of sex, reader is described as having a vagina and breasts. 
This is a reader insert fic, but there are a few plot details that lean towards an OFC. Reader's mentioned as having two parents, letting their hair 'down' after work, and one of their friends is given a name. If any of these details make you uncomfortable, please refrain from reading.
New to the community, so this hasn’t been beta’d.
Been working on this for a few weeks, please let me know if you enjoy it!
Get coffee, meeting, reply to emails, meeting, lunch, marketing proposal, planning period, meeting.
As you opened your planner that morning, you were greeted by your responsibilities for the day. However, each damn meeting brought you one step closer to the end of the work day, and subsequently one step closer to leaving your office and heading to Benny’s Fight Night.
Due to your busy schedule, you hadn’t been able to make it to one of his fights for a while so you often resorted to wishing him luck via a text message. Having the chance to actually be there and support him in person was therefore a big deal for you. Plus, you’d also have the chance to grill the eldest Miller brother, having set him up on a date with your friend a few weeks ago, only to have her tell you it didn’t work out. You knew Will would be prepared for you to press him, and being as stoic as he was, you anticipated that he wouldn’t reveal much.
How many times had they reprimanded you for attempting to play matchmaker?
You couldn’t help it. It was only natural for you to want the best for them, you’d shared so much of your life with them, and they’d been by your side when it counted.
Of course, you were only a kid when you first met the Miller brothers. When your parents had befriended theirs, you were quick to latch on to them, glad to have two little friends to annoy. You often spent holidays chasing them around their home, and they enjoyed bringing their LEGO to yours, much to the dismay of your poor mother, who wasn’t prepared for how much mess they’d bring.
Sure, shit got real when you got older.
After you graduated from college, you threw yourself into work. You successfully climbed up the ranks, securing enough money to live comfortably. Though you admit, you had to sacrifice a lot in the process, regularly denying yourself the chance to be happy - to be loved - in the name of prioritising your career. 
Every time you wake up in the middle of the night, yearning for the comfort of another body, you’re reminded of the loneliness that sometimes plagues you.
Benny and Will weren’t strangers to the feeling either. You’d been around to see the darkness that followed them home from deployment. The darkness that tarnished some of their ability to accept love. The same darkness that made them hold on to you that little bit tighter, now very much acquainted with the feeling of loss.
You would never be able to understand what it was like for them. Never be able to fully comprehend the extent of their trauma. Some part of you knew that for Benny and Will, relationships weren’t as simple as they used to be.
But that didn’t stop you from trying to set them up. You appreciated that your attempts were futile, they were just gestures of good faith, really. They communicated that you cared. That you wanted them to be happy - and they saw that for what it was: their friend looking out for them.
On the other hand, Benny and Will rarely tried to set you up on dates, understanding that the guys they knew wouldn’t be the right fit for you.
Despite this, they made sure to constantly remind you that you weren’t getting laid.
An issue you were sure they’d raise again, at some point this evening.
It wasn’t as though you weren’t looking. 
Respectfully, you’d found most of the boys’ friends attractive, and perhaps, there was one man from their Delta Force squad, in particular, who’d caught your eye.
A man with a serious attachment to his baseball cap.
A man who seems burdened by his affliction, shouldering the weight of it all by himself. 
A man who was just so gorgeous, yet often chose to play it safe, hanging back when in the presence of the other boys.
Yes, Francisco Morales. Or Frankie, as the boys called him. 
You had looked at Frankie. Many times. He’d definitely caused you to lose your train of thought more than once, having been mesmerised by his features; strong yet with a particular softness. 
Whilst you acknowledged your attraction to this man, you got the sense that he wasn’t available. 
Benny had never mentioned a wife or a girlfriend when he spoke about Frankie, but you still felt as though there was some kind of invisible wall up, preventing you from getting any closer. 
Besides, you were going to support Benny tonight, not ogle his friend. You could keep it under control. 
Or at least you tried, yet the way Frankie let out a soft chuckle as Benny teased you about becoming a crazy cat lady, was testing your patience.
Now, you were avoiding his gaze, afraid of having to confront your attraction to the man across the locker room. This was proving to be quite easy, as Benny’s enquiry into your (lack of a) sex life had you staring up at the ceiling in embarrassment, hoping the ground would swallow you whole. 
“C’mon, I’m only looking out for you here. You gotta break the dry spell soon, else it’ll become even harder to get back out there.”
Benny continues his onslaught, deciding to raise the point that if he didn’t fight for a while, he’d simply have no skill when he got back in the ring.
Frustrated, you roll your eyes at his comparison before telling him, “That’s unfair, Benny.”
Santiago chooses this moment to weigh in, reassuring you, “Bonita, you could have any guy you wanted, huh? What’s stopping you?”, and before you have the chance to speak, Benny jumps in on your behalf.
“That’s what I keep telling her, but she keeps making up all these issues. Worrying too much.”
“Well these issues are real concerns for me. I don’t want a relationship right now, but one-night stands aren’t for me either. There’s too many unknowns with hookups. Do you know how many married guys take their rings off just so they can take girls home for a night?”, you tell Benny incredulously, trying to communicate the extent of your concern.
Benny senses your ire, beginning to back off slightly, yet not before proposing, “Why don’t you just get a fuck buddy? Then you can get laid all you want. Problem solved.”
Sure, the prospect was very appealing to you. Someone you could count on to give you orgasms and not have to worry about the strings attached? 
You’d sign yourself up right now. 
The problem was, where would you find such a man? You shuddered at the thought of returning to the dating apps, having had enough interesting encounters on there to put you off using them again.
Turns out Benny had his own solution to that problem, choosing this moment to turn his attention to his friend who was currently leaning against the lockers, arms folded against his chest. It was almost as though Frankie could sense what was coming next, as he retreated further back into himself, looking down at the floor in a futile attempt to avoid being targeted by his younger friend.
“Hey, Fish is right there. He’s been hard up for god knows how long now. Why don’t you scratch each other’s backs, huh?”
Right now, he was cursing himself for having one too many beers that night at Santi's house, when he’d opened up to the guys about his sexual frustration.
“Jesus Christ”, groans Frankie, his eyes looking at Benny disapprovingly.
Turns out you two did have something in common, as you both looked as though you could kill Benny with your stares. The younger Miller, however, was sporting a grin that would rival the Cheshire Cat’s, thoroughly pleased with himself.
With the attention span of an excitable puppy, Benny was quick to move on. You guess it had something to do with the way Will was looking at him, the subtle tilt of his head gesturing to Benny that he needed to get his head back in the game.
But that didn’t stop you from wanting to die of embarrassment. 
Sure, Benny had a fight to focus on, but you had to survive a couple more hours in Frankie’s presence. 
You pushed the strap of your bag further up your shoulder, hoping that having something to hold on to would quell the anxiety bubbling in your stomach. Straightening your posture, you hazard a glance over at where Frankie’s stood, only to realise he’s not there.
Pushing open the double doors, you exit the locker room and spot Frankie, way ahead of you, and his steps are somewhat urgent as he catches up to Santi.
Shrugging it off, you find your seat and wait for the fight to commence.
****
He’s struggling.
Frankie’s still reeling from Benny’s comment. He knows the only reason Benny said that was to rile you up, and he knows he shouldn’t still be thinking about it now. But he just can’t get the way you looked tonight out of his head.
He grabs himself a beer and settles onto his couch, before allowing images of you to flood his head; the late-night news report swiftly forgotten.
He imagines your hair, slightly tousled after a long day at work. It was extremely sexy, to him; the image of you letting your hair down as you leave the office. It signified you letting loose, and he could only imagine what it would be like to have you lose control around him. God, he’d give anything to run his hands through it as you looked up at him with those eyes. 
Fuck, you were gorgeous. 
Frankie’s got it bad for you. Has done for quite some time now. Ever since he was introduced to you at Benny’s birthday party last year, you had taken over all of his fantasies. Being around you consumed all of his energy, as he often fought hard enough to play it cool whenever you spoke to him; always worrying he’d scare you off with his dark wit. 
And for Benny to joke that he had a chance with you? Well, that was cruel. 
He managed to make an escape from the locker room before you noticed, latching onto Pope in an attempt to recompose himself.
You were far too good for him.
He had baggage; struggles he was still working through. 
You, on the other hand, were stable. With a successful career, a solid group of friends and a pretty house at the end of the block, you intimidated him. 
Frankie often wondered how you had spent so much of your adult life around the Millers, seen the damage that had been done to them, and yet you still had a certain innocence about you. It was like you had seen first-hand just how unforgiving the universe could be, but you still saw purpose beyond the pain.
Yep, he needed to stay away from you.
Deciding to push his demons aside for the moment, Frankie casts his mind back to the times he’d tried, and clearly failed, to put the moves on you.
There had been the brush of his hand on your waist as you walked by him in Will’s kitchen to get another beer. And the time you fell asleep on Benny’s sofa, he had shuffled closer, allowing your head to rest ever so slightly in his lap. Frankie also recalls each time he’d driven you home from the bar, only driving away when he saw you head inside. As you sat in his passenger seat, Frankie came to the conclusion that your presence was downright intoxicating. Therefore, he always volunteered to be the designated driver in the hopes he could drink up more of you.
It was getting late. Late enough that he could put all this down to being some kind of a fever dream.
Frankie’s about to head up to bed, when his phone lights up with a text message.
A text message from you.
Yeah, this was definitely feeling like a surreal experience.
He decides to bite the bullet and glances down at your message.
Hey, Frankie. Just wanna say sorry about before. We all know Benny loves to tease, but I hope he didn’t make you uncomfortable. Hopefully see you soon! x
Frankie’s not quite sure what you have to apologise for, and frankly, his attention was elsewhere; on the last four words of your text. God, he hoped to see you again.
He sends his reply swiftly.
Hey, you don’t need to be sorry. I’ve definitely had worse thrown at me by the boys. Don’t worry about it. Hope you enjoyed the fight?
Frankie knows he’s pushing his luck, but he adds that little question mark hoping you’d take the bait to talk to him for a little longer.
You reply almost instantaneously, much to Frankie’s delight.
Yeah, it was great! Once I stopped wanting to kill Benny. Until then I was kinda rooting for the other guy. Promise you won’t tell him? 
Can’t promise anything, Cariño, came Frankie’s response. 
Your humour almost seemed like flirting, and Frankie would be a fool not to try, so after hitting send, he relaxes back into the couch whilst awaiting your response.
Huh. Knew I couldn’t trust a man with the name Francisco.
Fuck. Frankie was immediately consumed by visions of you - saying his name. 
Imagining how his name would sound coming from those perfect lips of yours caused something to stir deep down in his gut. 
Get it together, Frankie. Get it together. 
He found it a little harder to type his next words.
Not many men you can trust these days. But you deserve to be with one who takes good care of you.
He hadn’t intended to get so deep so quickly, but the thought of you being hurt in the past caused an unpleasant feeling to grow in his chest. You were so beautiful, so good. You had your whole life ahead of you. Whichever asshole had broken your trust in the past didn’t deserve to be breathing right now, Frankie was certain.
You take a little longer to reply, causing Frankie to doubt himself for a moment before his phone lights up again.
Thanks, Frankie. I feel like I really needed to hear that. You deserve to be loved, too. 
The sincerity of your words almost knocked the wind right out of him. Pleasantly surprised at the turn his evening took, Frankie longed to draw more of those confessions from you. 
Pope’s right, you know. You could have any guy you wanted, Bonita. 
The Frankie who hadn’t gotten anywhere with you before was not expecting the response you gave.
Any guy, huh?
And before he has time to process your insinuation, you send another text.
Even you? 
Oh, he wasn’t prepared for you to say that. So understandably, his response is delayed.
Shit, he needs to tread carefully here, he thinks, as he eventually composes his next few words.
Cariño, you need to be careful what you say to me. I don’t do well with riddles. 
On edge, Frankie’s composure is wavering. He’s definitely not prepared when he spots an incoming call from you yet he doesn’t hesitate to pick up.
“Hi…I, uh…I don’t even know what I’m doing Frankie.”, your words are soon followed by a soft, yet nervous, laugh.
“Do you wanna come over?”
Frankie swears he hears the breath leave his lungs, before all but moaning out, “Yeah.”
“Be there in 15.”
****
Of all the things you thought you’d be doing at 2 am on a Friday night, giving Frankie directions to your house wouldn’t have been your first guess. 
What were you thinking? You became a woman possessed. The dark timbre of his voice had caused a warm, fuzzy feeling to grow in your tummy, and before you knew it, you had invited him over for a late-night booty call.
You keep your hands busy, clearing up some of the mess in your bedroom when the realisation hits you. You were going to have sex with Frankie. 
Is this really happening?
The doorbell rings and you soon realise that - yes - this does seem to be happening, and it’s happening right now.
Like the cat about to get its cream, you slink to the door to let him in. You’re hoping your face doesn’t betray your eagerness as you greet Frankie with a smile. 
He takes a moment to assess your features, apprehensive that you may have changed your mind whilst he was driving over. Finding only a hint of shyness in your otherwise confident persona, he knows he’s made the right call. Frankie needs to see you move first. He’s not going to enter your apartment until he knows you want him in there. 
Luckily for him, you turn your body to the side slightly, allowing him to see further into your apartment. You take a step back; it’s an invitation that needs no words - it simply says, chase me. See what you’ll find. 
And he does. But not before looking away from you and rolling his eyes ever so slightly. You don’t know if he’s amused or frustrated, but you know you’ve got him right where you need him when he crosses your welcome mat.
His eyes return to you, then, and he gives you an assured nod. It’s Frankie’s way of asking you what your next move is. After all, he’s on your turf right now. 
Desperate to break the silence, you tell him, “Thanks for coming, I know it’s late.”. Choosing that moment to head to your bedroom, you lead the way. Hoping. Wanting. Praying he’ll follow you.
Frankie follows. He follows you blindly - like a disciple on a mission - trusting that wherever he’ll end up, it will be worth it. 
When he reaches your doorway, he’s greeted by a sight so divine, he’s forced to rethink his stance as an agnostic. 
You’re kneeling on the bed, stretching over to switch on the light, when he admires the way your back is arched like a feline wanting to play. He sees your mischief. And, as your shoulders dip low, he becomes hung up on the view of your ass in this position. He definitely wants to play, too.
The tension gets thicker and thicker as Frankie advances forward. He wants to test the waters; see what you do next. But he also wants to dive in headfirst and lap up your sweetness like a man starved. Frankie is a man starved, and he’s losing resolve with every passing second in your presence.
Of course, he’s delighted when you turn to face him again. You kneel on the bed, right in front of him this time, sitting back on your legs with your hands behind your back. You push your chest forward and sit up tall in a way that almost short-circuits Frankie’s brain. You look so submissive; preening and proud to put your body on display for him. So eager to learn, to please him. 
He knows you’re toying with him. You look so innocent sitting like that, but Frankie also knows you’re playing naughty. 
He wouldn’t have it any other way, though. Your moxie had his cock aching in his pants. 
Cautiously, Frankie rakes his eyes over your body, trying to figure out your next move. The soft glow of light in the room gives you an advantage, however, and you manage to catch him off guard. 
He’s too focused on the way you bite your bottom lip to notice your hands on his belt buckle.
Frankie thinks you’ll unbuckle it, yet you surprise him again as you use it to pull his body flush to yours. You’re on the bed and he’s stood up, and you adore the way he’s making you feel so small and pliant right now.
Sporting a mischievous grin of his own now, Frankie moves his lips to your neck.
“Don’t thank me yet, baby. Not until you’re cumming all over my tongue.” 
How’s a girl supposed to respond to that?
By some miracle, you manage to stay upright on the bed, and you decide you need to regain control of the situation before Franke dirty-talks you to death. 
“Francisco…”, you purr devilishly, toying with the hair at the nape of his neck. 
Frankie lets out a sinful groan; with just enough impatience to let you know he’s yours. There’s nowhere else he’d rather be right now than hanging on to every word you say. He can tell you’re being bratty. He loves it. Loves the way you’re taunting him, waiting for the moment he snaps and fucks you how you need to be fucked.
You repeat Frankie’s earlier words to you. “So…I could have any guy I wanted, huh? You really think so?”
Frankie thinks your smile looks a little bashful, for a second, before he notices the way you’re running your tongue across your bottom lip as you toy with the neck of his t-shirt. There’s a glint of something in your eyes. Your smile. That tells him he’s clueless as to the game you’re playing tonight, yet you’re definitely playing him. 
And, well, Frankie’s down for the ride. At this point, he’d promise you the world just to get a taste of the heaven between your thighs. 
Refocusing, he decides that’s what he needs to do.
“Cariño… so needy. You got my attention. All of it. No need to play up.”, says Frankie in a heady whisper.
You realise, then, that you may have underestimated the man in front of you.
But you definitely aren’t prepared for what he says next.
“On your back, baby. Panties off. Let’s see if you’re still an impatient little brat after you get your pussy eaten.”
Unable to form words, you get to the task at hand, dragging your lacy panties down your legs. You swear you can feel your skin throbbing as your hands skim your thighs. There’s nothing he could ask of you right now that would be too much, you decide, as you settle onto your back. 
He’s still fully clothed, and it’s almost like he senses your concern as he suddenly begins to undress. Starting with his t-shirt, he moves with urgency; afraid he’ll miss something if he takes his eye off you for a second. His hands reach for his belt, and you’re trying your best not to drool at the way he looks right now. Hair ruffled from your touch, chest heaving in anticipation of the pleasure you’re teasing of, and eyes glossy and wide. You’re simply mesmerised by the way this man looks when he’s affected. You’ve only ever seen him composed, playing it cool. You’ve never witnessed Frankie lose it, but you’re hoping that’s subject to change. Soon.
“Frankie…”, you beg. “Don’t keep me waiting, baby.”
Despite the way your impatience amuses Frankie, he decides he can’t wait any longer and dives down, using his hands to pry your legs open.
He nips the inside of your thigh, just far enough from where you need him to have you arching your back already; like a creature in heat.
You’re dying to express that you disapprove of his teasing, but you figure you should probably be a good girl considering he’s about to take care of you.
However, Frankie’s not done. His kisses trail higher, and as he reaches your knee, he places kisses there too, as he huffs out a demand. 
“You’re gonna be a good girl and give me all those pretty moans of yours. Take what I give you. Be grateful.” The way he emphasises those final two words tells you he’s not messing around, and you’re ashamed of the way you moan at the authority in his voice.
“Yes, baby. I’ll try to be good…. for you.”, you say. 
“Try, huh?”, is his response, as he reaches for a pillow, tapping your hip as a signal for you to lift them up. He places the pillow underneath your hips, and you’re ready to melt as he uses his thumb to rub firm circles into the spot just beneath your right breast. He applies a good amount of pressure, and all you can think about is how completely at his mercy you are right now; squirming underneath him in desperation. 
Frankie finally uses that tongue of his. But it’s not where you need it…yet. 
He draws your nipple into his mouth, sporting a smug grin as he does so. You want to scream. You can feel just how puffy and swollen your pussy is from the lack of attention it's receiving. As you feel it clench around nothing, you buck up against him whilst he continues to tease you. He’s sucking the peak into his mouth, drawing his tongue around in torturously slow circles, before releasing it with an audible pop. Frankie moves to continue his ministrations with your other breast, and in your petulance, you make the mistake of fighting him.
You hook your left leg around the back of his, trying to position your aching centre against the rough denim of his jeans; desperate for some friction.
But Frankie had been expecting you to challenge him. He’s seen your spark when you’d both been out with the other guys, it was one of the things that drew him to you in the first place. He recalls how you’d light up when you became competitive, you’d find ways to provoke your opponent yet you were able to mask it well. You’d get all giggly and cute, playing it off like you just got a bit over excited, and Santi, or whatever poor schmuck had gone up against you, would give in to you. Often letting you win. 
Well, Frankie wasn’t giving in that easily.
His hand shoots out to hold your left thigh open, whilst he uses his leg to pin down the other one; keeping you splayed out just how he wanted. You’re taken aback by his strength and you can’t deny it makes your pussy even needier. You need him, and your frustration has made you bold enough to tell him.
“Frankie, baby.”, you whine. “Need your mouth on it. On my pussy.”
He lets out a dark chuckle at that. And he decides to punish your brattiness with silence. You’re easy to read, to him, and he knows you’re liking the way he’s running his mouth whilst in your bed. But you’re reaching for too much, and he’s got to show some resistance for both of your sakes. 
Of course, Frankie would give you anything, but he’s not sure what your intentions were for inviting him into your bed. He assumes you’re after a no-strings-attached arrangement, and he’s gonna need to keep you wanting more if he’s to keep you. 
Pushing the thought aside for now, he focuses on his next move: giving you what you need. 
After what feels like a century, Frankie finally dips his head down to where you’re dripping for him. He’s sure he’s never seen a pussy so sweet and so responsive. He’s not even touched you there and he can see you clenching around nothing. 
His thick fingers part your folds and the way his breath ghosts over you has you crying out to him. 
“Ngghhh…fuck. Need it.”, you draw out in a frustrated giggle, and at this moment, Frankie thinks - no he knows - that you’ve ruined all other women for him. You sound so sexy, like a little vixen, but at the same time, there’s a sweetness about you that’s humbling.
Frankie decides he needs to reassure you. “Shhhh, Cariño. I’ve got you. You’ll get what you need.”
And you do get what you need, as Frankie forces your legs open even wider before licking a thick stripe all the way from your fluttering hole to your throbbing clit with his tongue - and the noise you make is untamed. 
He takes his time, opening you up on his tongue. He knows you need his fingers inside but he’s not sure you deserve it just yet. 
Frankie admires the way your pretty pussy is shy at first - like you - as he uses soft kitten licks to loosen you up. Your juices taste heavenly, and he laps up every ounce that flows from the core of you. Eventually, you relax into his mouth and your moans become more desperate. You need more and you communicate this by pulling Frankie in even deeper, your hands tight in his hair. 
“Jesus Christ”, he groans. “Tell me what you need, baby.”
“Fingers, Frankie. I need your fingers.”, you plead, hoping he’ll take pity on you. 
And he does, by some miracle, pressing two inside you and immediately curling them up. You’re soon ready for another, and he adds a third, causing you to pout at him as your orgasm grows closer. The way you’re trying your best to ride his fingers, yet also sink further back into the bed like a pillow princess, is endearing to Frankie, as he can’t help but watch how you take him. Fuck, you’re beautiful like this. Underneath him. He needs you to come on his fingers and his tongue and he decides he can’t wait much longer.
“There you go, pretty girl. You’ve got something to clench down on. Something to cum on.”, says Frankie, and his words have your eyes rolling back. He’s got a dirty mouth and it’s doing all the right things to you.
He moves his mouth back to your clit, sucking it into his mouth. Applying the perfect amount of pressure, he’s got you whining out his name as you stretch your arms above your head, gripping the pillow you find there to anchor you - otherwise, you’re sure you’ll float away. 
It doesn’t take Frankie much longer to push you to the edge, and he gets a little rougher, much to your delight. You’re suddenly thankful for the pillow you’re grabbing onto, as his hands grip both of your ass cheeks, pulling your cunt up to his mouth and there’s nowhere for you to run. His grip is unrelenting; all you can do is lie there and take it as his tongue lashes against your clit. The absence of his fingers leaves you feeling empty, though you’re not complaining, as the way he’s clutching your hips allows him to really wreck you with his mouth. And what a mouth that man has. 
You’re writhing on the bed, your orgasm so close that your body’s going crazy; arching and stretching as it tries to hit that spot to send you over the edge. It comes as no surprise, however, that Frankie’s words finish you off.
“That’s it, baby. Know you need to cum. Need it so bad you’re whimpering for it.”
“Come on now, give it to me. I know you can. Cum and I’ll give you my fingers to ride it out on.”, he says, and you cum. Hard. 
“Frankie. Oh my god, Frankie”, you moan out like a madwoman and Frankie plunges his fingers back into your pussy as you cum all over his face. 
You can’t help but chase every wave of your high, and you push your cunt down on his fingers like you can’t get enough of what he’s giving you. Somehow, you’re able to remember what Frankie told you before, and you begin to chant “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” as you ride out your orgasm. 
There’s a cheeky smile playing on your lips and Frankie lets out his own throaty chuckle at your sass. And that’s when it hits him. 
One time isn’t enough. 
He can’t give you up just yet. 
****
The two of you soon get into a rhythm. 
You alternate between your place and his, spending most nights together each week. It’s after a few weeks of this routine that you realise: you’ve got yourself a ‘fuck buddy’ after all.
But you wouldn’t dream of telling Benny. Or Will. Or Santi. You weren’t ready to burst the bubble and face reality yet. You were perfectly happy indulging in each other’s bodies, sheltered from the pressures of the outside world. 
The sex is incredible. You know it, and Frankie most definitely knows it too.
You’ve come to know Frankie’s body so intimately, it sends a shiver down your spine just from thinking about it. You know what makes him tick. What makes him abandon his resolve and cum for you. You know how to draw particular sounds from him; his moans, his whimpers, his shouts, even. You had become a Frankie connoisseur in what seemed like no time.
Actually, it had only been a few weeks, yet things seemed to be moving at pace.
Having been friends before all this began, neither of you was inclined to kick the other person out after you were done rolling around in the sheets. So, naturally, then came the lingering. 
You both had taken to lingering a little while longer after the post-coital high faded. 
One time, you had hopped in the shower, and when you were done, you found Frankie on the phone to your local pizzeria. You hadn’t even questioned how he knew your order, putting it down to the fact you were friends before this. Still, it caused an unfamiliar feeling to stir in your chest, and some small part of you didn’t hate the gesture. 
You start showering together, too.
The first time it happened, you were still giggling over something Frankie had said. You’d riled him up and he’d taken you on, finding it way too easy to laugh with you. You’d been poking fun at him after he’d shared quite an embarrassing story from his days in service and he had decided to take a shower to escape your teasing. However, you didn’t want to let the moment go, just yet - so you followed him into the bathroom. 
He had just stepped under the spray of water when he heard your girlish giggle getting louder. Frankie tried his hardest to steel himself, but your happiness was infectious and he couldn’t help but be affected, dropping his head forward with a content smile as you wrapped your arms around him from behind. And since then, this became a frequent part of your routine. 
On several occasions, you slept over at Frankie’s place and he drove you to work the next day. 
You struggled with this. You weren’t going to lie. The thought of one of your colleagues spotting you, and the gossip that would ensue, concerned you. But you brushed it off each time.
After all, it meant that Frankie would take you home as well - and that came with its own benefits.
You’d gotten into the habit of getting him all worked up on those days he was due to pick you up, deciding it was fun to have him show up wrecked and so hard for you. Sometimes he drove a little faster, gripped your thigh a little tighter, and braked a little harder as he rushed to get the two of you to someplace private. Whilst other times he’d take to finding a discreet place to park his car. 
Yeah, those were the days you’d texted him something filthy.
You figured out quite early that you were both into dirty talk, but you weren’t expecting it to escalate in the way it did. 
An incident occurred at the Millers’ BBQ, where everyone in the neighbourhood appeared to be out in full force. Despite you and Frankie pledging to behave yourselves, you couldn’t help but sneak off upstairs when the moment presented itself. You had to remind yourself that Benny had probably done the same, if not much worse, in your own bathroom as you let Frankie sit you up on the counter; his broad frame crowding you against the mirror and your heels digging into his back. He had come to love when you’d communicate how much you needed him by sinking your stilettos into him like a vice. It was a kind of foreplay and he was very much here for it. 
It was at that moment when he said it, as he had you spread out on the counter in your friend’s bathroom, fucking you good. 
You could’ve blamed it on the slight buzz of alcohol running through his veins. Or the fact you had been fucking each other a lot. The latter was more rational, you realised, yet you didn’t want to dwell on how you two got to this point. The anxiety and regret would creep back in, and you were having way too much to let yourself ruin it by overthinking.
“Fuck…Cariño. Feels so good. You like that, huh?”, he said.
You’d mewled out a “Yeah”, knowing Frankie needed to hear the praise, needed you to use your words.
What followed then, was a veiled threat to your dynamic. “Yeah…”, he groaned out. “You like it, huh? Letting me fuck you like this tight little pussy is mine.”
Frankie loved the way you whined at that, and he was perfectly content to watch you go wild as you took his cock like a champion, but you were getting too loud, so he covered your mouth with his; swallowing your cries of pleasure.
You should’ve noticed then that things were changing between the two of you, but you were too far gone at the time to pay it the attention it needed.
However, Frankie had been paying close attention to you. Specifically, you in his t-shirts, wearing only your panties and pottering around his place like you belonged there. 
You were blissfully unaware of how much this particular sight drove him crazy, but each time you wore one, Frankie died a little inside. He was overcome with the need to possess you. To make you his girl, have everyone know you warmed his bed. 
This feeling also reared its head whenever you called him baby. 
He’d never been one to jump to conclusions and he was definitely not one to overestimate a woman’s feelings towards him. But, against all odds, and because this was you, Frankie found himself desperately clinging to the pet name. He latched onto the idea that, maybe, he was your man and there was nobody else. Of course, Frankie knew what he signed up for. But he could still imagine what it would be like if things were different. 
But, afraid it would scare you off, Frankie subdued these urges every time. He’d often shut down when it all got to be too much for him to contemplate, rushing to another room where he’d make himself look busy. Unfortunately, you interpreted his struggle as him being distant. Closed-off. Emotionally unavailable. And in your eyes, this was the reason why you couldn’t let yourself fall for this man.
Despite the doubts you harboured, neither of you was prepared to stop.
The pace at which things were evolving terrified you, if you were being honest. It was as though you were heading towards a cliff edge, but you had taken the scenic route. 
The views were breathtaking, so you went along for the ride; paying no mind to where you were going.
You hated being unable to control the situation and part of you wanted to turn it around and go back to when you were just friends. Back then, you didn’t owe him anything. You could control the version of yourself you presented to him. But in this arrangement, Frankie was able to catch you off guard, sometimes. When he looked at you like you hung the moon, you felt as though you could fall into him with no parachute - give him more. And that scared you.
Frankie was scared, too.
In fact, he’s worried.
You’re currently enjoying a night out with your girlfriends whilst he’s home alone with his anxiety. 
He knows you can handle yourself, but he’s itching to hear from you. You’re having fun and you don’t need him, but he can’t help but keep glancing at his phone, thinking of texting you. Truthfully, Frankie’s afraid he’ll fade into your background. Every second you spend without him - untethered - is a chance for you to find something better and leave him behind.
He wants to be missed. Needs you to miss him.
However, Frankie’s not prepared to get this deep in a text message to you, so he settles for something a bit lighter. 
Releasing a strained sigh, he decides to bite the bullet and so begins to type out a message.
Meanwhile, in the club, you’re nursing your third margarita of the evening when the text comes through. 
Luckily, you’d agreed to watch the booth whilst your friends went to the bar for more drinks, meaning you were able to take a quick peek at your phone, away from prying eyes. 
You hated the way you doted on his every word, yet still, you ran your eyes over the text a few more times than necessary.
Hope you’re having fun. You know there’s a space in my bed if you want to crash here later.
Slightly buzzed from the cocktails you’d had so far, you aren’t sure whether this new sensation you’re feeling is down to the alcohol, or something else entirely. 
Being your usual flirtatious self, your instinct is to tease Frankie a little.
Your bed? Benny usually lets me crash with him after a girls night. Why should it be your bed, Francisco? X
It’s true. Benny did always offer you a place to stay at the end of the night, but it wasn’t like that. Yet Frankie doesn’t need to know that Benny always takes the couch, letting you sleep like a baby in privacy. Besides, you think it’s fun to rile him up. After all, you’re not sure how far he’ll go, to earn your company tonight. 
He doesn’t respond for a while, and you’re tapping your nails against the back of your phone, thankful that the bar service is slow tonight, delaying your friends’ return.
Fuck…is what comes to mind when Frankie reads your message. He’s driven wild by the thought of you in another man’s bed, even if it’s his friend who he knows has only ever been platonic with you. He’s not proud of his jealousy, as he knows what he signed up for. But he can’t help himself - he needs to give you a reason to end the night in his bed. He needs something that will reassure him: he’s not losing you. Thinking on his feet, despite having spent a solid ten minutes figuring out what to say, he replies.
Come on, baby. You know I can give you what you need tonight. Not sure Benny’s going to cut it. 
Kicking himself as he reads over his words, he knows he needs to give you more, so he sends another.
You think I can’t see through your games, Cariño. When you wake up needy in the middle of the night, it’s my cock you’ll be coming on. 
Oh. He’s playing dirty, you realise. You grab your drink and take a generous taste, needing something to cool you down desperately. 
Is he jealous? Your mind is racing with the possibilities of what this could mean for your relationship. 
Panic swirls in your stomach, letting you know that you may be heading into uncharted territory here. And to make matters worse, a glance to your left alerts you to the fact your friends are on their way back to the table.
You intended to reply with something equally as dirty as what he’d been sending you, yet as you spot your friends getting closer, you freak out and lock your phone, hoping they’re tipsy enough to gloss over the way you’re breathing a little harsher, right now.
You couldn’t deny it, Frankie’s way with words had you feeling hot. Heat pools between your thighs as you dwell on the delicious implications of ending the night in his bed, but you remind yourself that you need to appear unaffected or else you’ll be subject to interrogation.
It didn’t work, judging by Cami’s expression, and you take a moment to prepare yourself for the questions. Yet, there’s a look of real understanding on your friend’s face, like she senses your inner turmoil and feels for you. She assumes you’re tearing yourself apart over something, or someone, and she’s not sure that a crowded club is the right place to bring it up. Deciding to buy you some time, Cami suggests you accompany her to the bathroom.
Shooting her a look of gratitude, you let her lead you into a cubicle, before she turns to face you whilst leaning back against the door. 
You stare up at her from where you’re perched on the toilet, and you know she’s waiting for you to fill her in.
After a few seconds, you succumb. 
“I think I’m in too deep. Shit, Cami. Things are changing, and I don’t know if I like it.”
She doesn’t need you to elaborate. She knows you’re referring to a guy, and from the sounds of it, she can assume it’s casual. Well, supposed to be casual. The way you’re frantically chewing on your lip suggests otherwise.
Always in your corner, yet still firm enough to call you out when it’s needed, Cami’s been by your side long enough to tell when a man’s made a serious impression on you. Deciding it’s time to be firm, she weighs in on the situation.
“Being comfortable has never been enough for you. Change can be good. I know you know that, babe.”, she tells you.
“Who is he?”
You figure there’s no point in delaying the inevitable, so you reveal that it’s “A friend of Benny and Will. Uh…Frankie, the pilot.”
It’s hard to miss the proud smirk that Cami gives you. “Well-played.”, she says, chuckling slightly. “And that’s who you were sexting whilst we were at the bar, right?”
You nod, feeling less overwhelmed after opening up to her.
“Are you planning on showing me, then? I can’t help you blow his mind if you don’t let me see the texts.”, she adds smugly. Instantly putting you at ease.
You don’t need to ask her how she knew you were sexting Frankie, you’re just grateful that she’s a girls’ girl through and through, and you welcome her expertise in the matter. 
Cami’s about to suggest that you send him a flirty picture, with an even flirtier caption, until you scroll further down the conversation and you notice two new messages from the man in question.
It turns out that whilst you were stewing over your lover’s salacious messages, Frankie had gone through the motions, ten times over. He thought he’d pushed you too far. Pushed you away with his jealousy. 
He let himself simmer in his frustration before concluding that your lack of a response signified rejection. Frankie knew he’d shown his hand too soon. He’d fallen at your feet like all the other men, acting like a golden retriever in the way he fought for your attention. 
But still, your rejection hurt. It hurt enough for him to become defensive, trying to regain some of the control he’d forfeited to you. He shouldn’t have said what he said, but he let his emotions get the better of him.
You can’t quite believe what you’re reading, and even Cami appears to be shocked at the words staring back at you.
I get it. You don’t owe me anything, huh?  
And after he hadn’t heard from you for fifteen minutes, he sent another text.
You should stay at Benny’s tonight. Wherever you choose to go, I’m sure you’ve got plenty of options. 
All you see is red. All you feel is the unmistakable tinge of betrayal. You hadn’t expected Frankie to jump to conclusions, and you definitely hadn’t expected your Frankie - who was always so sweet and respectful - to degrade you like this. 
Some part of your brain is able to register Cami’s words and you hear her cursing Frankie with some very colourful language. You’re left feeling blindsided, unable to process his sudden resentment towards you, but nonetheless, you can’t allow yourself to get hung up on it, not when you were surrounded by such remarkable friends. 
You switch your phone off, determined to salvage the rest of your night, before letting Cami drag you to the dancefloor for some much needed release.
It’s no surprise, then, when Frankie’s 3 am apology text fails to come through.
****
Frankie becomes an expert at jumping to conclusions when it comes to you.
After you didn’t reply to his apology, and subsequently screened all of his calls, Frankie didn’t know what else he could do. 
He couldn’t reach you and you hadn’t made an effort to contact him. Hell, he knew he’d fucked up; he shouldn’t have spoken to you in the way he did, but he’d tried to make amends and yet you didn’t seem willing to hear him out.
Frankie doesn’t see you for a while. Eight days, to be exact. 
He knows you’re alright, thank god, as he hears from Will that you’d been offered a promotion at work and that he’d taken you out to dinner to celebrate.
And yet, it doesn’t get easier, he comes to accept, and he finds himself wanting to call you on multiple occasions, and he almost does, but something always stops him in his tracks.
Unable to stop replaying your words over in his head, Frankie’s overthought and overanalysed until the point of exhaustion. You were both to blame, considering neither of you had been willing to speak about your relationship. Expectations, boundaries and outcomes had all been forgotten. You’d gotten swept up in the pleasure and failed to address these crucial concerns, and now you were both reaping what you had sewed. 
It was supposed to be casual. It was supposed to be just sex. 
That’s what Frankie told himself when Benny revealed that he had set him up on a blind date with a mutual friend. 
Neither of you had told Benny, or Will and Santi for that matter, about the two of you and Frankie couldn’t have declined the invitation without arousing suspicion from the youngest of the group. He didn’t know where he stood with you, but he wasn’t going to drop you in it with the boys. He was way too protective of you to let that happen.
So, begrudgingly, Frankie agreed to the date.
The first you heard of the date was through Instagram, and Frankie and Imelda were well into their second drink of the evening by the time you’d found out. 
Turns out, Benny had crashed it around forty-five minutes in, having gotten a text from his friend revealing he wasn’t ‘feeling it’. Taking his wingman duties seriously, Benny wasn’t prepared to let Frankie give in just yet, so had shown up in an attempt to encourage him, and to salvage what was left of the night. Benny had brought a girl friend - whom you both had met whilst at college - hoping the double date vibes would put Frankie at ease, and as she had taken to posting on her story, you were able to poke your nose in.
It wasn’t spying, and you weren’t jealous. But when Stacey posted a picture of the group, you couldn’t help but fixate on the way Frankie had his arm around his date, leaning into her ear, and it looked as though she’d caught them during an intimate moment.
Due to the angle at which the photo had been taken, you couldn’t tell whether Frankie’s lips were just hovering over her ear, or whether they were pressed tight against her skin. His baseball cap cleverly hid the majority of his face from view, but you couldn’t deny what was plain to see. And it drove you mad. Though, you knew your anger wasn’t justified.
Preparing for the worst, you conclude that Frankie’s ready to move on from you. 
You wish you could put your phone aside and let it be. You wish you didn’t care. You wish that the thought of Frankie touching another woman didn’t make you want to die, and you wish you could stop yourself from doing what you were planning to do next.
There’s a fire in your eyes and you realise that, perhaps, you are jealous, though you don’t waste time dwelling on it. If you were going to keep Frankie’s interest, you needed to do something that would throw him off balance and you needed to do it soon. And you knew just what would do the trick. 
You practically run to the bedroom, pulling out one of Frankie’s old army t-shirts that you’d snagged from his place. Getting comfy on your bed, you slip the shirt up your skin until it exposes enough skin to drive your man wild. There was no doubt about it. Frankie adored your breasts, and he also adored the way you loved to tease. You are hoping that this sexy little underboob shot would make him forget all about his date. No disrespect to her, as any woman would be crazy to turn down a date with Francisco Morales, and you feel bad - honestly, you really do. But the anxiety in your chest is pulling you towards the action. Your body’s screaming at you to do something, like it senses that it’s about to lose Frankie’s touch, for good.
You angle your phone just right, so the camera focuses on the way your breasts peek out from under his t-shirt. Whilst you make sure to get your face in the shot, too, as you draw your bottom lip between your teeth and widen your eyes; looking all cute and innocent as you look up at the camera positioned above you. You know you’re anything but innocent right now, but you’re anticipating that Frankie will play right into your trap. As you have it on good authority that the man loves how you play coy, only to whine pathetically when he finally stretches you out with his cock. And by good authority, you’re referring to the way he grips your hips like your body gives him oxygen, or the way his big hands cup the back of your neck, fingers skimming over the side of your throat in a way that says, you’re staying right where I’ve got you. 
Throwing caution to the wind, you press send on the photo and you make sure to add a fitting caption. 
Your girl’s feeling a little lonely. Lucky she’s got your shirt to play in. Would be a shame for you to miss out, tonight. x
And you’ve got him. 
Hook, line and sinker; Frankie’s ready to come crawling back to you like a dog.
When he sees your name light up on his phone, notifying him that you’d sent him a photo, he needs to get somewhere private. And fast. 
He gives Imelda, as well as the other couple, some lame excuse about needing to get his jacket from the truck - just in case they decide to go somewhere with outdoor seating later on - and before he even reaches for his keys, he’s got his phone out ready. Somehow, he manages to hold off on opening your message, wanting to give you his full attention from the comfort of his driver’s seat. And he’s glad he did, as he pulls up the text and is greeted with what could only be described as a treat. Your eyes. Those lips. Your tits in… wait. Is that his shirt? Fuck, he doesn’t know where to look. His eyes rapidly move from each focal point in a frenzy to soak up everything you’d given him. You’d bestowed upon him a gift, and he needed to treasure it. Besides, he hadn’t heard from you in a while and he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to touch you, or even look at you, in this way again. 
And then, he casts his eyes down to the text that follows.
Your girl’s feeling a little lonely. Lucky she’s got your shirt to play in. Would be a shame for you to miss out, tonight. x
He takes a minute to process your words, but he’s unable to move past your girl and your shirt. Did you want him dead? Surely, that was your goal in pushing those exact buttons of his. You’d seen his possessiveness, and until now, Frankie was certain it had pushed you away; overwhelmed you. Were you now encouraging it?
Not wanting to miss his chance, Frankie recomposes himself, just enough for him to be able to send a semi-coherent reply. He also texted Benny, asking him to apologise to Imelda on his behalf and tell her he had to head home, as he wasn’t feeling well. Home wasn’t on the cards tonight, however, as he geared up to head to your place. 
Don’t play too hard without me, baby. On my way over now.
Somewhere on the drive over to yours, Frankie finds himself able to reflect on your relationship. 
Relationship. That word felt foreign on his tongue, but he didn’t hate it, he realised, as he allowed himself to fantasise about a version of you two where you dated, held hands, and openly expressed your affection in front of your friends. 
You’d never given him any indication that you wanted more. Until tonight. 
Frankie’s aware that you’ve given him a crumb, and he’s already dreaming about the whole damn thing, but he can’t help himself from pushing forward.
His attraction, and his appreciation for you had grown, and he often found himself doting on the way you held your coffee in the morning like it was precious cargo, just as much as he doted on the way you went all cock-dumb in his bed after he’d worn you out for hours and hours. He’d begun to notice the little things that made you, you. And he knew he could fall in love with you. It would be so easy. 
Frankie considers how he’s probably ruined it for himself, already. He spoke to you in a derogatory way, that night you were out with the girls, and you’d somehow found out he’d been on a date with another woman. He knows that, on paper, the date isn’t something he should feel guilty for, as you two weren’t exclusive. But you were still involved and he has to admit he hasn't handled things in the best way. 
As he turns onto your street, he concludes that he wants you.
Frankie wants to be with you, and he’s willing to have you in whatever capacity you’re prepared to offer him. If you’re not ready. If you can’t give him what he needs, like the self-sabotaging martyr, he’s willing to take whatever he can get if it means he doesn’t have to give this feeling up. 
Then he’s at your door, trying his hardest to stop the tapping of his foot, which would surely give him away.
You appear from behind it, and he’s a fool not to notice the tears staining your cheeks as he makes his way past you. 
He bounds on you, the force of his kisses backing you up against the kitchen counter. And there are so many words on the tip of your tongue, but you haven’t seen this man in over a week and it’s so easy to fall back in again. 
After he’s somewhat satisfied that you’re real, and you’re here in his arms, he pulls back to address you with a needy tone of voice. One that was unfamiliar to both of you. 
“What was that, huh?” he demands. Looking anywhere but at your face, it’s no surprise that he misses the anguish that clouds your usual playful expression.
After a beat of silence, he pushes again.
“You couldn’t let me try to get over you.”, says Frankie, and this time, you notice the pain in his voice.
It’s like you’re frozen. Paralysed by the weight of everything that’s gone unsaid between you. 
Silence follows. It’s the kind of quiet before a storm, and neither of you knows what to do to protect yourselves. 
He’s holding onto your hips like they’re his altar, and he’s staring down at your body like it will lead him to enlightenment; give him the answers he needs. 
When he moves his gaze back to your face, that’s when he sees the absence of light in your eyes. You look troubled. Uncertain. And Frankie’s kicking himself for not noticing the tears that are streaking your soft skin earlier. What had happened between sending him the photo and now?
Cupping your face with a tenderness unlike the way he had just kissed you so roughly, Frankie’s at a loss for what to do. He just knows he wants to soothe the pain; your pain and his, and make it all better. 
Your silence feels like another dose of rejection, so Frankie takes a step back from you.
He’s amazed at his own courage, as he finds himself needing to communicate what he needs, right now. 
“You know what I want.”, he says.
The look in your eyes tells him you were expecting this conversation. And it crushes him, because he needs you to fight for him. But you won’t. He can see that much from your pained expression and the way your body is curling in on itself. You’re retreating.
And you are retreating. You want so badly to run to him; to hold him in your arms and promise that you’ll try, you’ll give him what he needs. 
You know you could love him right. Some mature part of you wants you to acknowledge that you are falling for him, and have been since the first night. But you’re confused, driven by heightened, raw emotion and you haven’t taken the time to process what you’re feeling for him.
His rejection still stings you, and you struggle to bounce back when you’ve been hurt. You know the adult thing to do is to talk about it - patch things up and move past it. But you’re a creature of habit and what you actually did was stew in your irrational anger, before closing yourself off to him. He’d tried to reach out and you’d crawled deeper into your pit of self-sabotage. Yeah, it wasn’t healthy and perhaps Frankie was better off without the hurt you’d most likely cause him if you gave this thing a chance to grow into something more.
A lot of self-work needed to happen before you’d be ready to let him in; let him sink deeper underneath your skin. 
So you stayed put, whilst your words failed you. 
Frankie’s eyes are raking over you so intensely, awaiting your next move, and all you can do is look anywhere but at him. 
The tension in your body has been stretched too far, and so it snaps. And you’re sure that both of you can hear the way the energy in the room shifts just like that. 
“Francisco… I -”, is all that you manage.
And Frankie feels as though he can read your mind. 
What you meant to say, he thinks, was I can’t give you what you want. 
And he gives you a moment to finish your admission. But nothing comes.
Wanting to be anywhere but here - facing your rejection, again, Frankie pivots towards the front door, ready to leave. 
“I shouldn’t have come here.”, he says.
Then as he darts towards the exit, you call out his name, and his movements still completely.
You continue. “I - … “, before releasing a sigh. 
“Frankie”, you whine, though it’s not like he’s used to hearing. It’s a broken whine, telling him all he needs to know.
You’re not ready.
“Tell me to stay. Tell me you want me.”, he pleads. 
And you think it’s kinder to let him go now. As it’s only a matter of time before you break his heart anyway. 
This arrangement was supposed to be casual. It wasn’t supposed to evolve this way, but you had both fallen in a little too deep, with too little communication. 
Fuck, he’s a good guy. Why won’t you let yourself have this? Have him? 
By now, your delicate tears have given way to distressed sobs, and you need him to walk away from you, so you can let it all out. 
After what feels like an age, Frankie leaves. He realises that he’s powerless. He’d handed over all of his control, to you, and you now held the advantage. 
As you watch the door close behind him, you release the hand that’s covering your mouth and unleash your heartache. 
****
It’s not a secret that you miss him.
Your body feels the loss, as you regress into the shell of your hurt. 
You can’t eat or sleep for the first few days, and when your appetite returns, you’re too anxious to make a run for some groceries. You’d called in sick to work, and that should’ve been a sign that Frankie meant more to you than a ‘fuck buddy’. 
You were grieving him. And as cliché as it sounds, you didn’t know what you had until it was gone. Or more so, you didn’t know that you wanted more until you had nothing.
The days that followed that fateful night in your kitchen were filled with longing. You yearned for the comfort of his body: the softness of his hair underneath your fingers, the sound of his voice over the phone, the way he held you like his favourite memory. You couldn’t bring yourself to wash his clothes that appeared in your laundry; you weren’t ready to erase his scent. It was somehow calm and untamed at the same time. Like Frankie.
You also missed the way he made you feel so needed when he’d beg for your touch.
But physical touch aside, you missed his mind, too.
You found yourself wanting to bask in his dark humour; the way he was often quiet and observant in social situations, only to cut in with something downright philosophical when it counted. Truthfully, you thought a lot about the way he’d listen, hands on his hips and mouth slightly ajar, looking like he was sizing you up, though you knew he held nothing but empathy and respect for those he cared about. 
It was down to you now. You needed to be the one to show up, for him. You needed to reach out to him, tell him what he means to you, but you were worried you’d missed your chance. That night in your kitchen couldn’t have been more poetic; he’d come running to you and it would’ve been perfect had you crashed into him with open arms and an open mind. But you didn’t. And that left you playing out scenarios in your head, thinking of all the ways you could confess the depth of your affection to your lover. 
What would he say? 
Would he take you in his arms and vow to forget the past? 
Would he be forgiving? Or would he be guarded, detached?
You imagined the latter was more likely, though you had come to accept that you were the one responsible for the limbo you were both existing in.
And of all the ways you’d imagined seeing Frankie again, you never expected it to be in the grocery store; dressed for comfort and definitely not to impress. 
He’s got a six-pack of beers in his hand as you let your eyes soak him up. He looks good, but also exhausted, and although your heart aches at the thought of him struggling, the needy part of you latches onto it as evidence of him missing you.
Frankie had once revealed that he loved sharing a bottle of wine with a woman, as he enjoyed getting comfortable enough with a partner to share the pleasant buzz it gave. And that was something you had delighted in, too, before taking it for granted. Though as you glanced back down at the beers he was holding, you were so thankful for his choice of beverage, as it signified there wasn’t someone waiting on him tonight.  
You found yourself wanting to be the one waiting on him. Being the one he came home to every night, and the thought sent a gentle thrill through your body.
So you held on tighter to your tub of ice-cream, channeling your trepidation into the object in question as it gave your hands something to do and slightly quelled the urge to reach out and touch Frankie. 
As you pluck up just enough courage to walk over to him, he reaches for a bag of chips, and you believe he's blissfully unaware of the baggage you’re bringing him. 
The distance between you is not enough, as you know you’re only a few steps away from having to confront this thing. Tail between your legs, you slowly move closer to him. 
Of course, as an ex-veteran, Frankie had clocked you before you even considered approaching him. He’s grateful for this, though, as it gave him a sliver of time to compose himself before you had eyes on his weary form. However, he can’t help but think the way you’re slinking towards him, in an attempt to appear discreet, is cute. Despite how much he wishes he could refrain from becoming even more infatuated with you.
Arguably, the anxiety in his stomach tells Frankie he’s not ready to face you. Though he doubts he could ever feel completely ready. So, at the moment when you become too close to ignore, he lifts his head, knowing his time’s up.
Words aren’t exchanged for a while. Rather, you’re preoccupied with assessing each other; devouring with your eyes what you’ve been deprived of for over a week. 
Frankie knows he can’t be the one to break the silence. It has to be you, and if he gives you this, he’ll never know whether you mean to fight for him. He needs to see you step outside your comfort zone and give him the words you’ve held hostage.
And you do, after a poignant pause. 
“Hi, uh - … you look…good, Frankie.” is all you manage to say. You find a little more confidence as you go on, and the way you breathe out his name with poise gives Frankie hope for what’s to come. 
He doesn’t think it’s the right time for him to speak, though, and he doesn’t want to spook you should you be preparing to speak candidly. So, he doesn’t say anything.
You gesture towards the beers and chips in his basket, “Oh, are you seeing the boys tonight?”
Frankie puts the basket down, then, and folds his arms over his chest. He gives you a quick shake of the head, before telling you “No.” 
He’s trying to appear unbothered, but the way his laboured breaths are visible through his chest tells you otherwise.
You’re fighting the instinct to run but you somehow manage to continue.
“I’m sorry that I hurt you.”, you admit, and then you tell him, “I’ve been thinking about everything. About you. A lot.”
Frankie can’t help himself, and he jumps in, craving your honest disclosure. 
“What do you want. Really?”, he says, and he looks so tired - exhausted by your indecision, and it makes you loathe how avoidant you’ve been with him.
Oh, you think. We’re getting to this now.
“I- I’m not used to… used to letting someone in. Y-You-” and Frankie cuts you off.
“Cariño.”, he says sternly. “I need an answer.”, and he’s begging you.
“Francisco!”, you whine petulantly. And if he couldn’t see the pained expression on your face, he’d be offended. You’re conflicted, and he wants to believe that you’re trying. 
“You want me to tell you how I feel, then listen.”, you assert, before adding a softer “Please”, as you look at him like he could break your heart with any sudden moves.
“Frankie… y-you saw me, like actually took the time to learn it all. I couldn’t hide. I thought you’d find something that would make you leave me alone, and I wasn’t prepared to l-lose it.”
He leans closer, ever so slightly and it’s the encouragement you need to continue.
“Didn’t want to lose you, Frankie. You’re a good man. A man I could love, and… and I was happy but I was afraid it couldn’t last. S-so I kept going back and forth, daring you to stay. Seeing if you’d give up.”, you say, and the last five words come out sounding more uncertain than the rest.
Meanwhile, Frankie’s processing. He inhales every word out of your mouth like he’s gasping for breath. He’s needed to hear this - hear you - and it feels long overdue.
Your strength doesn’t fade, as you continue.
“I don’t know if I deserve you.”, you confess softly, before revealing, “You could be better off with someone else.”, and you can’t look him in the eye as you share such a deep-rooted insecurity with the man you’d come to adore.
It’s genuine, everything you’re saying, and Frankie sees that you’re trying, for him. He’s finding it hard not to say fuck mature communication and comfort you, knowing you could do with some physical touch to ground you. He wants to kiss you until all your worries dissipate, hating the thought that you could ever underestimate yourself in this way. If only you saw what Frankie saw when he looked at you, you’d be walking on air.
But he knows he needs to tread carefully. You’re giving him an inch, and he wants a mile, but he knows you. Knows the vulnerability you’re slowly welcoming is a lot for you, right now, and he’s appreciative regardless.
Then, you go and throw him a curveball. 
Taking a risk, you move in even closer, until your feet are practically covering his, and you’re looking up at him with an innocence and vulnerability in your eyes that you reserve for him, only.
And your voice wobbles as you say, “Shit, Frankie. I need you.”
He looks down at you and you appear so small and fragile beneath his gaze. There’s no trace of your usual playfulness or moxie on your expression. And in your voice, there’s no trace of the pretence you sometimes hide behind when forced to confront your emotions. And Frankie registers that you must really mean it this time.
He needs to believe that you mean it. That you really need him, as the alternative is something he’s not prepared to brave.
Arguably, you’ve put yourself out there this time, and Frankie would be lying if he said he wasn’t concerned about you reverting back to reticence, should he give you another chance. Who’s to say you’ll maintain this level of communication with him? He can’t go through this again if you aren’t truly invested in moving forward.
“Fuck, I never thought we’d be stood in a grocery store having this conversation.”, you add to ease the tension, and the way Frankie lets out a breathy chuckle tells you he’s just as grateful for the relief from the heaviness.
After a moment of intense deliberation, Frankie arrives at his choice.
He understands that acknowledgement is only the start, and he needs to see that you’re willing to commit to something more, whatever that may be.
But right there on the confectionery aisle, as the artificial lighting of the store illuminates every emotion on your face - and he sees the fear, the concern, and the tenderness that gives you away, Frankie decides that he needs you. 
And, like an addict, he swears to have you in whatever capacity he can get.
You can’t read him, and you’re on edge awaiting his response.
Then with a newfound sense of ease, Frankie picks up the six-pack from the basket beside you, as you watch his every move; afraid you’ll miss something. 
He gestures to the beers, before the slightest hint of a smirk greets you from beneath his baseball cap.
“How about we swap these for some of that wine you like? Then we can head back to my place. Talk some more.” he says.
And he knows those last three words could scare you off. 
Yet as you take his hand, pulling him over to the aisle you need, Frankie feels hopeful. 
It’s a kind of hope that simultaneously scares and excites him, and right now, he’s okay with that.
Thank you for reading! Please consider commenting, liking or reblogging if you enjoyed it. <3
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chenya-my-love · 5 days
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Malleus x Yuu x Ace
So the fandom as a whole seems to agree on two things. Malleus's feelings for Yuu can easily be interpreted as less than platonic, and that Ace has the fattest crush on Yuu.
And a handful of people have written a love triangle between the three. But almost all can be summarized as "Ace takes an L". But I don't think people see the angst on both sides.
Ace is socially aware, he can tell from a mile away that Malleus has feelings for Yuu and wants to be with Yuu. And he is also aware the he can't compete with Malleus.
Malleus is one of the top 5 mages in the world and literal royalty. What's Ace? An average boy who lives an average life. The most shocking thing he did was manage to get into the prestigous Night Raven College, and he isn't excelling. His grades are nothing impressive and he doesn't even have his unique magic yet. Plus chances are when he graduates, he'll return to having a normal life.
Malleus can give Yuu the comfortable life that Ace just can't. If Yuu marries Malleus they live a great life as royalty. They have riches beyond their comprehension and a powerful dragon willing to go to the ends of the world for them. In the end Ace just can't compare. He's nothing compared to Malleus.
But then you have Malleus, and he can see the difference between the relationship he and Yuu have and the relationship Yuu and Ace have. While Yuu is kind and friendly to Malleus and clearly cares for him. It doesn't take a genius to tell that Yuu is more comfortable with Ace, Ace was their first friend in NRC after all. They have sleepovers and eat lunch together and have study sessions. While him and Yuu just don't. He's aware that Ace and Yuu are closer.
And he's also aware of what the royal life is like beyond the glamor that normal people see. He knows about the struggles and the isolation that comes with it. And he's just a prince, imagine how much worse it is as a king. He's also aware the prejudice the Briar Valley has toward humans. Sebek didn't get his views out of nowhere after all.
He's aware that marrying a human wouldn't magically fix the issues in the valley, it would be a bandage over the issue if not make the issue worse. Especially if him and Yuu managed to have a child, it would likely leave a bad taste in the Valley's mouthes that an average citizen of the valley is more fae then the literal heirs to the kingdom. He's aware of the strife Yuu would face if they entered a relationship with him.
So Malleus knows that Ace can give Yuu something that he simply can't. Normalcy. If Malleus and Yuu entered a relationship, Yuu would be unable to see the world like they want, and even if Malleus managed to take a day or two off to have fun. Him and Yuu wouldn't be normal. They would be stared at as the royalty of the Briar Valley. They couldn't have a normal moment.
While Ace could give Yuu and normal life. If Ace and Yuu got married than they could live in the Queendom of Roses, a place with a high human percentage. They could work normal jobs and be able to squeeze in the life that Yuu deserves. Yuu can be a normal person with Ace. Yuu can live a normal life with Ace.
Both of them are in a battle for Yuu's heart but both think they have already lost. Because they're both so different on a fundamental level, that they know that they could never give Yuu the same life and both think the life the other could provide is better.
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sc0tters · 6 months
Text
Who Thought | Mark Estapa
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summary: wanting to get Marks attention is something you never thought would land you in his bed.
prompt: “you two were practically made for each other.”
request: yes/no
warnings: sexual themes, p in v, swearing, drinking.
word count: 2.41k
authors note: not often do I pay myself on the back after writing smut but i am seriously proud of this one. I almost sent @hischierhaze the entire thing I was so excited for people to see it. If you want to see more from the 500 celly you can do so here!
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Everyone knew you were off limits.
Nick had told everyone the moment you walked onto that campus as a freshman when he was a junior that if they went for you they would have been as good as dead. Yet as he graduated some of the boys began to fancy their chances as they started trying to make moves on you. But you never cared for them as they never came from the one boy who you wanted them from.
Mark had been your partner during freshman orientation and from that moment the two of you hit it off. So to learn that he was in some of your classes too only meant all that much more to you as within months the two of you became friends.
Both of you had been with other people during the first two years of college but now as you were both finally single you prayed he’d finally see you the same way you saw him.
So that was how you landed up in your dorm curling your hair as your friends picked out your outfit “you always look unforgettable in this one!” Josie squealed as she handed you your blue bodycon dress “you sure he’s gonna like it?” Nerves ran through your body as you smacked your lips together fixing the ends of your hair in the process.
Clara nodded as she placed her hand on your shoulder “you two were practically made for each other y/n.” Your two best friends watched how you were able to bounce off of his energy and how you two were known as the couple who weren’t dating “maybe I shouldn’t do this.” Your words were met with another seltzer as the girls were doing predrinking in your dorm.
You were helped up as the dress was placed over your arm “go get dressed because once he sees you he won’t be able to get enough of you.” Josie explained as she tapped your nose making it scrunch.
Little did you know just how right they were. Mark hadn’t let his eyes leave your body from the moment you walked in and got pulled into a conversation with Luca he hated how you stuck to the sophomores side. The way your dress hugged the curves of your body and settled just over your ass would have made Nick kill you if he saw you in it. But tonight almost every guy found themselves taking a second look at you.
You had landed up playing against Mark and Ethan in a game of beer pong and at one point it seemed to be a game between you and Mark. It was the constant glares and smirks as the other person got their balls into the silo cups “drink up princess.” Mark smirked watching the ping pong ball land in the cup as it splashed the beer around the table.
It didn’t take you long to wrap your fingers around the cup as you chugged the dry drink not caring that it dripped down the sides of your mouth as you finished it “your turn Estapa.” You pointed out as you steadied yourself to throw the ball.
Luca met you with a celebration as he raised his hands to high five yours “there you go baby.” The Fantilli boy laughed as he wrapped his hands around your waist lifting you up in the process.
That was surprisingly not your first attempt to get Marks attention. As Mark pushed past you after the game all of a sudden your game plan changed “since when has he had an issue with you?” Luca asked crossing his arms not noticing the way your confused expression turned to a smirk “just a rough day I guess?” You shrugged noting how Mark was staring at you as he listened to something that another girl said.
The night had begun to grow old as you moved to the dance floor with a different boy and as alcohol began to cloud your judgement you let yourself dance against one of the guys on the football team. Mark let himself stare as his fists were clenched.
As tough as it was he let himself watch until you were pulled towards the staircase “I don’t think so.” Your blood went cold as you turned to see Mark stood with his hand on your shoulder.
It made the older boy laugh “don’t think that’s what she would want is it?” He stared down at you making you feel small. As both boys waited for your answer you couldn’t help but sigh “I’m gonna go with Mark.” You knew it was the best as he would have gone to Nick to tell him all about what you had done.
The boy next you didn’t stay for long as you glared at Mark “what are you trying to play at?” You furrowed your eyebrows as you crossed your arms.
Sure you wanted Marks attention on you but in this moment it felt like he was trying to protect you rather than trying to make a move on you “I’m trying to protect you!” His words made you scowl as the two of you pushed passed people to get to the door “god I’m an idiot.” You laughed thinking that he actually could have wanted you.
Mark had to remain hot on your tail all the way until the cool Michigan air hit your face “you make me sick.” As the words left your mouth it made him grab your hand as he pulled you close making your chest hit his “you wouldn’t have a clue how much I think about you.” Mark mumbled looking down at you.
It made you blink “then why the hell don’t you fucking act like that!” As you scoffed it all of a sudden made Mark smirk “you want me to show you how much I think about you?” He licked his lips as you nodded.
He didn’t wait for a second more to go by as the hockey player leaned down to kiss you “you’re gonna get me killed.” Mark moaned using his free hand to cup your cheek so that he could kiss you. Your hands wrapped around his shoulders as his tongue ran over your lips as he kissed you.
The two of you stayed there for a few more moments until you pulled away “I need you Mark, please.” Those words rang through his ears all the way until he pushed you into his room “god you’re gorgeous.” Mark groaned watching as you dropped to his bed.
It didn’t take him long to join you as he continued to let nip at the skin on your neck “Mark.” You whined leaning up to bring his head to yours “I need to taste you.” His words made you moan as you shifted up the bed allowing his hands to travel down your legs.
Mark kissed down your thighs making sure to be painfully slow as he loved each of your legs “god.” You propped yourself up on your elbows as your head dropped feeling your thighs tense.
He watched you as the light from the street lamps stared illuminated your face “is that what you wanted all along? My attention.” His words were soft as his breath fanned against your thong causing your hands to clench into fists.
As your body shook Mark hooked his fingers into the waistband of your panties allowing him to pull them down “I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.” He mumbled finally being faced with your bare cunt “if I was with James I would have already-” Mark didn’t let you finish your words as he licked a stripe up your slit making you yelp.
His hands locked around your thighs trapping you on your spot “dear god.” You gasped slapping your hand over your mouth in an attempt to suppress your moans.
Mark smirked as he pressed a kiss against your clit “it’s just me pretty girl.” The nickname make your body turn to jelly “you’ve got such a sweet cunt.” He mumbled to himself as his tongue swirled around your clit.
You felt trapped as your fingers locked locked in his hair “don’t stop.” You begged feeling his fingers thrust into your cunt “Mark you’re so-” you cut yourself off with a moan as you grinded your hips against his face with the little bit of movement that you could do.
He felt himself grow hard as he replaced his tongue with his free fingers “you know how easily you could have had this?” Mark asked as he kissed the inside of your thigh “all you had to do was be a good girl and come to me.” Your cunt clenched at his words as your cheeks turned red.
The air in the room felt humid as his eyes practically took you apart piece by piece “but instead you wanted to play the hard game huh?” The hockey player curved his fingers causing them to hit deeper into your core “asked you a question sweets.” As the wheels in your brain began to visually turn again Mark lowered his lips back down to your clit as his mind began to grow jealous of what his fingers were doing.
You moaned as your mouth grew wet much like your soaked cunt that Mark treated like his last meal “just wanted your attention.” You mumbled feeling a wave of embarrassment coarsed through your veins as you felt your legs shake.
It made you feel like a fool as you came ever so closer to your high “look at you now having it and you can’t even handle it.” Mark laughed as his nose hit your clit “ah!” You gasped grasping at the sheet beneath you.
Mark wasn’t an idiot, the way your breathing became uneven and how the way you drove your hips became ever more desperate as you clenched your cunt with all of your strength. It was clear, you were close “I’m gonna.” You coughed using your strength to look at him.
What you didn’t expect was that Mark responded by dropping your legs to the side as he retracted himself from the bed earning a whine from your lips “surely you didn’t think I’d let you get away with acting like that this easily?”Mark laughed at you as you nodded swearing that Mark would have been good to you.
But before you could complain further his arms raised the ends of his shirt up to let you see his abs “you like what you see baby?” Mark smirked as you tilted your head up to nod. It took him a few seconds to get down to you as he kneeled in the gap between your legs “please Mark.” Your whines for the first time were met with him actually listening to you as he helped you get out of your dress as he bunched it around your waist “gonna make you feel so good.” His words echoed through your ears as you lay your head down against the mattress.
The sound of his belt unbuckling as his jeans dropped to the floor it made you gulp as you saw him grab the condom “been waiting for this for months baby.” Mark groaned as he teased your clit with the covered head of his cock “Jesus!” You moaned as his cock stretched your cunt out making sure to bottom you out as his torso hit your clit.
It made Mark grunt as his hand pressed against the mattress above you “you only got me in here pretty girl.” The hockey player kissed your neck letting his lips nip at the skin “need you to move.” You begged tapping his arms as you pushed against the sheet of his bed.
His thrusts began as your legs found themselves perfectly locked around his hips “Mark.” You whined feeling his chain hit your chin as he repositioned himself to hover over you.
With each move of his cock it seemed that he was hitting a deeper part of your cunt “making me feel so full.” Your hands found themselves against his back as your nails raked over the skin “god this cunt is perfect.” Marks compliment made you whine in a respond as your lips formed a pout attempting to find his lips.
Your nipples throbbed against the fabric of your dress making you only care about getting your first orgasm of the night “made for you.” You moaned as your eyes screwed shut struggling to remain focused “all yours Mark all yours.” Those words made Mark swear that he was going to die.
Mark groaned feeling your cunt clench around his cock “if you don’t shut up I’m gonna come.” He warned as his free hand went to your clit to try to help you come before him “‘m sorry.” You frowned as your words got caught in your throat.
It made Mark smirk as he shook his head “such a sweet baby aren’t you.” Mark cooed brushing his lips over yours “being such a good girl for me.” He groaned feeling your hands scratch his back sure to leave a mark.
The room felt sweaty as his hands were on you and your moans painted the walls of it “I’m close Mark.” You announced forcing your head against the pillow beneath you “want you to let the whole house hear how good I make you feel.” His words weren’t done kind of request, they were ordering you to be vocal and you weren’t going to deny him of that right.
Your throat felt raw as you cried “please don’t stop Mark.” You begged squeezing your legs tighter around his waist “right there oh!” You cried as you came feeling your body writhe between the boy and his sheets as your eyes screwed shut.
Marks orgasm wasn’t far behind as your cunts sporadic movements made his throbbing cock coat his load into the inside of his condom “that was hot.” You blurted out feeling his lips kiss your shoulder.
As he slid his cock out of your cunt your body shook “I’m just gonna get you a cloth.” Mark explained as he smiled getting up to see you still in your fucked out state as you lay on his bed barely nodding in the process.
Seeing you like that honestly made his day as Mark knew that he had you in just the way he wanted.
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