#them counting the times Buck’s been hurt on/by the ladder truck

[buddiebuckley-diaz]

I need need need a scene where the fire fam is joking about the ladder truck having a vengeance against Buck.

Like we all talk about it, and it would be hilarious for them to acknowledge it on the show.

#them counting the times Buck’s been hurt on/by the ladder truck #someone mentions it’s probably from him stealing it to have sex #cue Eddies jealous face #god I just want to see a scene with them joking about it #even if it’s a quick 10 second scene #I NEEEEED it #evan buckley #911 fox #911 show #911onfox #eddie diaz #buddie #buddie 911 #911 on fox

[rainbow-nerdss]

a lot to live without

Buck/Eddie, 1.2k words MCD/Temporary character death Written for @augustwritingchallenge day 2: Immortals AO3 link

Buck died a hundred and twenty seven times before he stopped keeping count.

Whether it was falling from a tree, being thrown from a horse, illnesses, or infections, he woke up, shook it off, and either pretended it was nothing, or skipped on to the next place, somewhere nobody knew him.

Where nobody had watched him die.

He kept in touch with Maddie, who had her own gift, who kept living where he kept dying. He sent letters, when he knew where to mail them. Sometimes, decades passed with them piling up, until they found each other again.

But everyone else had to be left behind.

It was easier that way. 

Eventually, it was easier to just keep moving, regardless. Knowing he was leaving people behind, leaving people to mourn him — he couldn’t do that. 

So he doesn’t get attached anymore. He has acquaintances, not friends. People he can know for a week, or for a day, or even just an hour or two — people whose company he can enjoy for long enough that he can trick himself into feeling less alone, but who won’t miss him when he leaves.

When he dies, again.

He joins the fire academy in L.A. 

He hasn’t been to California in a long time, and the world has changed since the last time. It’s harder to keep a low profile than it used to be, but he likes it here. The sun on his face, the camaraderie of working on a team. His plan is to be just good enough to keep a job for the next ten years or so, just annoying enough that no station wants to keep him around longer than a few weeks. 

He’ll bounce around, maybe do a little good, throw himself into spots too dangerous for anyone else to face. 

And then he’ll leave, move away again, find somewhere new.

It’s a solid plan.

He doesn’t count on the 118 being almost as stubborn as he is. 

He doesn’t count on Captain Bobby Nash giving him a second chance, doesn’t count on the playful ribbing and easy friendship.

He’ll stay, maybe just for a year.

He doesn’t count on Eddie Diaz. He doesn’t count on Christopher, the sweet trust the pair of them place on Buck’s shoulders 

He doesn’t count on Maddie showing up, on her staying too.

He’ll stay a little longer. He’ll stay until he has no choice but to leave, when they see the real him and run scared, or they have to watch him die.

It hits him when he’s crushed by the ladder truck. He almost dies there, but he holds it back, feeling Eddie’s fingers on his pulse, knowing what will happen if he drifts away.

They’ll grieve for him. They all will.

It hits him harder when he does die, when the water rushes over his head and he breathes in a lungful, drowning in the middle of the street, Christopher’s name on his lips.

He wakes up, and he keeps searching

He sees the trust in Eddie’s eyes, and yes, he sees the love. The love he so desperately wants to return, though he knows he can’t. 

Nobody knows that he died, nobody else was there, but one day they will. And on that day, Buck will have to leave, have to move away and live with the knowledge of the pain he caused them.

Better to cut ties now, to walk away and let them hate him, rather than making them grieve.

The lawsuit seems like the best course of action. 

And it works — they do hate him. Buck listens as the lawyer churns up all of his friends and family’s private hurt, rakes them over the coals for his own gain. He sees the expressions on their face, the hurt, the anger. 

He’s done it. They hate him.

He hates himself.

He dies twice more in that time. The first is alcohol. The second, a punch from some stranger in a bar who Buck felt the need to pick a fight with.

But then the worst happens: they don’t hate him. They miss him. 

They let him back in.

And Buck, the fool that he is, can’t stay away.

He doesn’t know how to be careful, is the thing. Doesn’t know how not to put himself between the people he loves and danger. 

But they all do it too. Every day, they run into burning buildings, face dangers which could kill anyone, and none of them hesitate, even for a moment. 

Everyone Buck knows throws themselves headfirst into danger, and he begins to think it’s no wonder they were the ones who refused to let him go, out of everyone he’s known in his long, long life..

Eddie cuts his own tether at the bottom of a well to save a child, Athena dives into a collapsing building to help a woman who doesn’t want to help herself, Sue Blevins from dispatch puts herself in the path of a moving car because she can see there’s something wrong with the girl in the passenger seat. 

Maddie tells him to take a chance. To open himself up, to tell the truth. 

She tells Chimney, and one by one, the team learns the truth. About her. And about him, by extension.

Buck almost dies again, and they save him. They rush in after him, and they help him, even though they know his death won’t be permanent.

They save him anyway.

They worry anyway.

Buck wishes the bullet hit him instead of Eddie. 

“I’m not dead, Buck.” Eddie takes his hand, and places it over his chest so he can feel the heartbeat below, steady and sure. “I’m alive. It didn’t kill me.”

“It could have, though.”

“But it didn’t. It hurts like a bitch, but I’m okay.”

“You—”

“No, Buck. Just because you come back, it doesn’t mean your life is worth less than any of ours. That your pain is worth less. You deserve to be safe, too.”

“But, Christopher—”

Eddie tells Buck about his will. And it makes sense, for it to be the person Eddie knows for sure will never die. The one who will always be around to take care of him.

But he made the change a year ago. He made the change after the well, before he knew about Buck’s curse, his gift, or whatever you wanted to call it.

Eddie chose Buck because he’s Buck.

For the first time, Buck doesn’t fear the prospect of forcing people to mourn him.

He dreads the day he will be the one who has to leave. When he keeps living, and everyone he loves is gone.

Because he does love them. 

He loves Maddie, like he always has and always will.

He loves his team, the family he’d never known.

He loves Christopher, the way he lights up a room just by walking into it, the way he’d latched onto Buck and never let go.

And he loves Eddie, more than he’s ever loved anyone. 

For the first time, he wants to keep living, for them all.

And maybe, fifty, sixty, seventy years down the line, when he’s finally lived a life to be proud of, his face will begin to look older.  Maybe he’ll finally live long enough to grow old by Eddie’s side. 

Maybe when he dies then, surrounded by his family, old and in love and happy, he won’t wake up again. 

And what a wonder that will be.

#my fic #au gust 2023 #au gust fills #Buddie #Buddie fic #buck/eddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz

[canonicallyobserving911]

Evan "Buck" Buckley: On the job injury in Season 6?

All of the original members of the 118 were physically hurt during seasons 4 and 5 except for Buck. Eddie and Bobby were both shot in 4x13 "Suspicion" and 4x14 "Survivors"; while Hen and Chimney were both drugged and kidnapped in 5x17 "Hero Complex" which resulted in Chimney's heart being stopped twice. 

All of them were targeted because of their jobs.  Eddie and Bobby were shot by a sniper who wanted revenge so he started randomly targeting firefighters; while Hen and Chimney were targeted by a jealous colleague who was temporarily assigned to the 118.  He wanted to replace Chimney so that he could be Hen’s new full-time paramedic partner.  Since all of them were either physically injured on the job and/or because of their jobs and their injuries required a hospital stay, if the narrative continues then season 6 may have some whump and angst in store for Buck.  It seems like he will be next up on the whump wheel at the 118 to be in physical pain.

The Ladder Truck Explosion

Buck hasn't been physically hurt on the job since the ladder truck explosion in 2x18 "This Life We Choose" which resulted in an embolism that affected him in 3x1 "Kids Today".  The embolism caused him to quit his job, file a lawsuit against the LAFD and after he won, he turned the money down and he was allowed to return to work at the 118 in 3x6 "Monsters" while he was on blood thinners. 

The Embolism

Buck had completed his recertification so that he could return to the 118 but he had an embolism during his welcome back party which prevented him from being able to return to work.  He was hospitalized for a few days but Bobby got scared and worried that if Buck returned to work, he could possibly die on the job.  The embolism was the result of the surgery on his leg after it was crushed by a ladder truck while he was on the job in 2x18 “This Life We Choose”.  The rods they placed in his legs caused the blood clots which led to the embolism.  Buck was emotionally hurt when Bobby told him he couldn’t come back and that prompted Buck to quit firefighting.  Afterwards he became depressed and wouldn’t leave his loft. 

The Tsunami  

The Tsunami hit not long after Buck and Christopher arrived at the pier.  Even though he was physically hurt during the Tsunami in 3x1 "Kids Today"-3x3 “The Searchers”, the injuries he experienced don’t count as being received on the job because he quit firefighting which is why he was at home depressed when Eddie brought Christopher over to cheer him up.

The Secret and The Buckley Parents

He wasn't physically hurt in 4x4 “9-1-1 What’s Your Grievance?” or 4x5 "Buck Begins" but he was emotionally destroyed because he learned during his parents visit that he was born for parts to save his dead brother, Daniel.  It was a secret that had been kept from him his entire life.

The Warehouse Fire

Buck wasn’t physically hurt during the warehouse fire in 4x5 “Buck Begins”, however he was mentally struggling and spiraling after he found out about Daniel. He was dealing with the fact that his parents didn’t want him so he was struggling to understand his place in the world.

The Shooting

Even though Buck wasn’t physically injured during the shooting, he was mentally and emotionally damaged for life after watching Eddie get shot right in front of his face.  They can’t live without each other so he was literally watching the other half of his heart and soul bleed out in the middle of an L.A. street.  When it happened, Buck was in a catatonic state of shock and remained that way until he had a chance to talk to his son their son Christopher so that he could explain what happened.  

The Hostage Situation

In 5x6 "Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1″, he got whacked over the head with the butt of a gun by one of the escaped convicts.  They threatened Eddie, Christopher and Buck’s lives while they were being held hostage by Mitchell and Dom. That instance doesn't really count either when it's compared to the types of injuries everyone else at the 118 received during seasons 4 and 5.

Since it’s been more than 3 years since Buck was physically injured on the job, it will be interesting to see what TPTB have in store for Evan “Buck” Buckley in season 6.  If Past is Prologue then it’s certainly possible for him to get seriously injured during a call or some other variation of work related trauma.  It seems like he has been emotionally traumatized enough over the past three seasons, but as a first responder, he knows things can get dangerous really quickly.  He appeared to be spiraling at the start of season 5 while he clung to a woman who did nothing but further his mental trauma.  Therefore the audience will have to wait and see what’s in store for him once the hiatus ends and the next season begins.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 on fox #911 fox #911 season 5 #911onfox #911 s6 #911 s5 #911 spoilers #911 speculation #911fox #911 meta #bobby nash #chimney han #hen wilson #ravi panikkar #anti lucy donato #buck's breakdown 911 #evan buckley character study 911

[sortofanobsession]

In a Flash or Two (9-1-1 Pre-6b Speculative Fic)

911 Masterlist, Ao3

Part 2, Part 3

Summary:

Eddie's POV of the Lightning Strike and aftermath.

Author’s Note: At least 13 of you wanted this, so here it is. We've all seen the promos. This is all speculation and a hint of something else I've been thinking about at the end. Canon compliant, so not exactly Buddie, but hints at it as always.

Tag list:  chitownwolf, @comablog2

Let me know if you want to be added or removed to tags, I’m trying my best guys.

Word Count: 1K+

Content warnings: lightning, emergency, cardiac arrest, pain, lightning strike, electrocution, contact injury, side flash, blast injury, heights, hospitals, passing out, loss of consciousness, panic attacks, anxiety, description of anxiety and panic, manipulation, threats of using a child to gain compliance but not in a violent or hostile way (just them using Christopher to get Buck and Eddie to not be dumb but still deserves a warning because that is kind of a sketchy manipulation tactic).

-----------------

Eddie Diaz is 90% sure his heart stopped when the lightning hit and Buck falls. Then it was beating faster than it has in years when he saw his best friend just dangling there. The safety line is the only thing keeping him from hitting the ground. That's a relief, but unfortunately, it means Buck is clearly unconscious and dangerously hanging from the ladder. The uneasy stillness of Buck's form has an ice-cold grip forming around Eddie's heart and climbing into his throat as he shouts for Buck. He has to do something. Buck needs help. He needs him to do something now.

Eddie is barely thinking about it when he goes to the ladder to help Buck. He can't just do nothing. Why do they let Buck on the ladder truck anymore? How many times has he nearly died because of it? What if he's too late? Buck is too still. Has it been too long? Is that Buck's PASS alarm, or are Eddie's ears just ringing?

Then there is a bright light and pain. Pain that makes the muscles around his old injuries pull tight, and everything hurts like hell. It makes his teeth clench violently, and joints stiffen.

Eddie is 100% sure his heart stopped when he wakes up in a hospital bed. 

He is 100% sure he failed to help Buck. Eddie had pretty much climbed onto a lightning rod shaped like a ladder truck and gotten himself struck by lightning.

He is 100% sure he just made things worse and delayed help for Buck by needing it himself.

He is 100% sure he needs to know if his best friend is alive. 

The heart monitor beside him starts to climb and sets off alarms as he feels panic creep up his spine and his chest tighten painfully. There is pressure behind his eyes, buzzing in his ears, and his pulse in his temples. 

People hurry to his bedside, and voices speak, but he can't process any of it. 

Nothing makes sense until he hears.

"He's okay, Eddie!" Eddie hears the voice to his left say. He can barely hear it above the buzzing in his ears. "Buck is alive." He quits fighting. Quits trying to get up. The panic is still there. The vice grip on his heart is still there. He still hurts everywhere, but something eases just a little bit in his chest. "He'll be okay, Eddie. But he'll be pissed if you don't calm down because your heart can't take it right now. Not this soon after what happened." It takes him a minute to realize it is Hen. Hen is telling him Buck is alive. Buck didn't die because Eddie got in the way. 

He hears Hen sigh as the room quiets and everything settles. 

"Okay, here is what is going to happen," Hen starts. "You are going to take a minute to breathe. Then I'm going to get the doctor. You are going to listen. And then I'm going to get Bobby. Then you're going to stay put. I'm not above getting Christopher in here to-"

Eddie nods, probably too quickly and violently, but he does. His voice is caught in his throat, and he groans but keeps nodding. The faster he gets through with the doctor, the faster Bobby will tell him what he wants to know. How is Buck?

The doctor tells him he has to take it easy. That he has been through a lot and that his heart and body needs time to heal. And Eddie agrees. He can feel how sore and tired his body is. His nerve endings feel fried and old injuries are sore. He feels like he could sleep for days, but the anxiety humming just under his skin is almost as electric as lightning. 

He looks up as Bobby walks in. Without thinking, Eddie asks, "How's Buck?" 

Bobby sighs and shakes his head, but the corners of his lips notch up into an exasperated but fond grin. "I knew that'd be the first thing out of your mouth," Bobby admits. 

"Bobby, pl-" Eddie starts, but Bobby holds a hand up and stops him.

"He is resting," Bobby answers. "Buck's got a lot of the same injuries you do, but he has some extra bruises and such from the safety harness. But the gear did its job. The medics did their job."

"But he's been awake?" Eddie has to know.

"In and out because of the pain meds, but he'll be on the mend in no time."

"But he's not on the mend yet? Meaning-"

"With Buck's history, they are being extra cautious. The history of clots, complications, and everything has the doctors keeping a close eye on him. They hope he is out of the woods-"

"But Buck has to be dramatic about everything," Eddie grumbles.

"He isn't the only one," Bobby says, leveling Eddie with his usual 'Unamused Captain' look. "You both are lucky. This could have been so much worse. I know you were acting more on instinct than anything, but-"

"I know, I should have waited for orders. I know I just slowed down anyone getting to Buck. I know-"

Bobby chuckled. "You should have, but we all know that we'd all have done the same thing. This is Buck, after all." 

Eddie can read between the lines. If Eddie hadn't been their first, Bobby would have been. Bobby would have been in his spot. The one in the hospital bed. That does seem like something Bobby Nash would do. Especially for Buck. Bobby loves Buck like a son. And love makes people do stupid things…like climb on a metal truck to grab the elevated metal ladder while active lightning strikes around them. 

"But he'll be okay," Bobby assures him. "And you will too, if you both let yourselves heal and don't try to rush things."

Eddie lets out an indignant snort. "Buck will never-"

"Oh, he has already caved, Carla and Maddie threatened to get Christopher to convince him, and we all know he can't say no to that kid of yours. So it's now on you." 

Eddie can't help but grin at that. Buck was shockingly, he laughed again at his choice of mental words, easy to manipulate sometimes because of how much he adores Christopher. Eddie should feel guilty about that, but he can't find it in himself at the moment. Probably because they are doing the same thing to him. He knows he'll cave too. Eddie just can't live with the idea of disappointing not only Christopher but also Bobby and Carla, and most likely Buck. Hell, the whole team, Athena, and well, his family, and everyone he knows will lean on him if he doesn't cave. So he nods. He agrees to take it easy. Especially when Bobby points out his history of PTSD and panic attacks. 

"Did they ever suggest a service dog?"

"For Christopher? Yeah, they-"

"I meant for you," Bobby states.

"What?"

"Has Frank ever told you there are programs that train service dogs for PTSD? Trained to deal with nightmares, panic attacks, and more. Or yeah, maybe one for Christopher as he gets older to help him feel more independent. Or even just a companion or visits from a therapy dog could-"

"Maybe…maybe I'll look into it," Eddie says, quick to add, "For Christopher."

------------

Like, reply, ask for a potential Buck or Bobby POV.

I looked up what lightning does to a body and yikes.

I read about it here and here.

#911 fic #911 spoilers #Eddie Diaz #Bobby Nash #hints of Buddie #tw: lightning #tw: lightning strike #tw: emergency #tw: cardiac arrest #tw: pain #tw: electrocution #tw: contact injury #tw: blast injury #tw: side flash injury #tw: panic attack #tw: panic attacks #tw: passing out #tw: loss of consciousness #tw: unconscious #tw: anxiety #tw: fear #tw: manipulation #tw: manipulation using children #tw: children used as leverage #tw: compliance gaining using a child #mentions Buck #Mentions Carla #henrietta hen wilson #hen wilson #tw: heights

[tricksters-captain]

Bucky Barnes imagines - Don’t Flatter Yourself, Doll

AN: I hope you enjoy something a little different 

Summary: You and Bucky have always clashed. After a mission goes wrong things get heated between you two. 

Pairing(s): Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader, Sam xPlatonic!Reader

Word Count: 1,787

Warnings: ANGST, strong language, some violence, Smut, hate sex, unprotected sex, no foreplay, choking

“You’re really gonna storm off like that and say it’s my fault!?” Bucky scoffed at you as he tried to catch up to you. 

“It was completely your fault! If you hadn't gotten in my way then––” 

“––If I hadn’t gotten in your way?!” Bucky threw his leather jacket down on his seat as you separated in the aircraft. “If you had stuck to the plan and did what you were supposed to do we wouldn’t be leaving empty handed.”

“If I had stuck to the plan you would be roadkill right now.” You snapped back at him as you unarmed yourself. “Perhaps that would’ve been better because at least then I wouldn’t have to deal with your miserable ass and constant staring!”  

“Oh please!” Bucky huffed. “If I wasn’t around to constantly save you from one bad guy or another you'd be dead right now.” 

“Save me?!” The words made your head spin round to glare at Bucky. “That’s rich, Buck. If I recall you’re the one who always needs saving whether it was Steve or now Sam!” 

“Sam doesn’t save me!” Bucky’s nostrils flared as he strode towards you. You stood your ground, folding your arms across your chest as you stared up at the man. 

“Oh yeah? Just last week Sam had to tackle you from a speeding truck because a little girl beat you down.” You reminded him of the incident with the flagsmashers. 

“They were super soldiers!” Bucky argued, “And if I remember correctly you were thrown from the same truck.”

“Will you two quit it?!” Sam entered the aircraft finally, folding in his wings as he glowered at the both of you. “It’s both your faults we are in this mess.” 

“But he––!”

“––Shut it, (Y/n)! You know I normally agree with you rather than white panther over there–”

“–White Wolf–”

“–But you messed up. We were this close to finally getting somewhere and you both let it slip away.” Sam didn’t want to hear another argument from either of you so climbed up to the cockpit of the aircraft to get away from you both. 

“See, even your best bud said you were the one who ruined this for us.” Bucky threw his hand up in the direction of the ladder. 

“Shut the hell up, Bucky!” You dropped your arms as your anger jumped out. 

“Not so tough now you haven’t got Sam on your side.” Bucky didn’t stop. 

“I don’t need anyone on my side. He said that you fucked it up too. This just proves that if you weren’t here, the mission would’ve worked out the way it was supposed to.” You growled as you turned away from the man. 

“God you’re so infuriating!” Bucky gripped hold of your upper arm and tugged you around so you would face him. 

“Take your hand off me.” You said in a low voice, warning him. 

“Or what?” Bucky only tightened his grip. 

You shrugged before sending your fist into the man’s jaw.

Bucky stumbled back, chuckling harshly before he finally snapped. 

He surged forward, taking hold of both your arms and slamming you against the wall behind you. 

You stared straight into his eyes. Your chest heaving up and down as you tried to stay calm under his grip. 

“You really think fighting me is going to make this better?” Bucky asked through gritted teeth. 

“No but it’ll sure as hell make me feel better.” You retorted. 

Bucky smirked, sticking his tongue out of his lips as he looked away from you for a moment. 

“I should’ve just left you in the water.” Bucky’s words cut you deeper when you realised what he meant. 

Bucky had pulled both you and Steve from the water that day years ago when the Helicarriers crashed. 

“Well, the only reason I didn’t kill you when I had the chance was because of Steve.” You spat back. “But he isn't here anymore.”

“Like you’d ever have a chance––”Bucky looked back in your eyes and you took that moment to lift your feet and send them into the man’s stomach, pushing him off you. 

Bucky stumbled back, groaning at the impact of the kick in his stomach. 

You went past him, heading towards the ladder when Bucky grabbed your shoulder to keep you there. You staggered backwards at the strength of the pull but knelt down swiftly to swipe your legs under Bucky, sending him to the floor. 

Before you could even lift your foot to continue walking, Bucky’s hand snatched your ankle and brought you down with him. 

His remaining hand grabbed your other foot and pulled you down towards him. He scrambled on top of you but you used the opportunity to roll you both over, linking your legs with his arms to flip you. 

You sat with your thighs either side Bucky’s neck as you sat on his chest. 

Bucky used his enhanced strength to grip hold of your thighs with his arms before flipping you over onto the ground. 

The impact of your back hitting the hard metal floor made you lose your breath for a second but it was enough time for Bucky to secure his place on top of you. 

His legs weighed down your own, his large hands pinned down your wrists above your head and his dog tags were hitting your neck as he glared down at you. 

The air was thick from the both of your panting hot air.

You watched Bucky’s eyes flicker down to your lips and before you realised what was happening, his lips were on your own. 

Your small gasp of surprised allowed Bucky’s tongue to surpass your lips. The taste of him sent an electricity through your entire body and you kissed him back.

“I heard a bang, You guy’s haven’t killed each other down there, have you?” Sam opened the hatch and called down to you both.

Bucky stopped kissing you and you both jumped apart, rushing to your feet. 

“Not that I’d mind at this point because frankly you’re both a pain in my ass but...” Sam continued as he hadn't heard a response. 

“No, we’re fine.” You were the one to speak up as you tried to steady your breath. 

Both you and Bucky had stood apart but you had your eyes locked on each other. 

You felt something stirring inside you at Bucky’s dark gaze.

“Look you guys can hash it out for all I care just don’t hurt each other we still have stuff to do.” Sam said before you heard the hatch close again. 

There was a moment of just silence. A moment that felt like eternity before Bucky rushed towards you once again. 

His lips found yours, you wrapped your hands round the back of his neck as he picked you up and pressed you against the curved steel wall. 

His cold metal hand slid down your side and then pulled your t-shirt up to allow access to your skin. The coolness of the Vibranium sent goosebumps over your skin as he took hold of your breast.

You bit down on Bucky’s lip, scraping your teeth against the soft flesh as you tugged lightly. Bucky growled, his hand finding your neck to keep you pinned against the wall.

There was a devilish glint in your eyes that made Bucky insatiable. 

He kissed you once again, his hands tearing your t-shirt over your head, his mouth then moving to the exposed flesh of your neck and collarbone. 

Your own hands darted to the bottom of Bucky’s shirt and soon it was removed, revealing Bucky’s chiselled torso that you had seen before but never this close. 

Bucky bit down on your shoulder as he tried to undo your pants. He pulled away a moment, setting you back on your feet to help remove the garment. 

You kicked them off, instantly dropping to your knees to help Bucky with his own. 

You unbuttoned his jeans and went to drag them down when Bucky yanked you back to up his face. He kissed you as he removed his own pants, pulling his length free from his boxer briefs. 

As Bucky’s teeth grazed your jaw, you looked down to see how large his member was and you felt your core ache with need. 

“Fuck me already.” You hissed as you pulled the man’s head back by his hair. Bucky groaned at at the sudden pain but then darkly laughed.

“You didn’t say please.” Bucky smirked as he lifted your leg up in a swift motion. Pushing your panties to the side, his member was pressing against your wet sex, he was teasing you.

“Bite me.” You snarled back at him and with that he thrust his whole length inside of you. 

You winced and whined out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. You threw your head back, letting your eyes roll back with it and Bucky soaked in every second of your reaction. 

He only waited a second for you to adjust before he started thrusting inside of you. You gripped onto his shoulders, the cold metal of his left arm seemed to burn against your hot skin as he held onto you and the wall. 

“God...” Bucky moaned as you moved your hips with his. 

You let go of Bucky and found his right hand with your own. Bucky furrowed his brow in confusion as you moved it but didn’t stop pumping in and out of you. 

You placed his hand against your neck and Bucky soon realised what you wanted. 

He squeezed lightly as he fucked you hard. 

He couldn’t stop himself from watching your face twist in pleasure as he roughly thrusted against you. Your nails dug deep into his skin as you felt your stomach begin to tense. 

Bucky’s hips were becoming sloppy as sweat beaded on his forehead. You were both so close. 

His deep thrusts allowed his member to hit that sweet spot inside of you and you cried out as he did. You felt yourself curl around him and you squeezed your eyes shut as your climax rolled over you. Your walls pulsed around Bucky which only encouraged Bucky’s own finish. 

Bucky came inside of you, filling you with his hot speed as he let is forehead drop to your shoulder. 

Bucky let himself catch his breath against before he pulled out of you. He tugged up his pants, moving away from you and tossed you over your t-shirt from the floor. 

“This doesn't mean I like you.” You said through your heavy breaths as you redressed yourself. 

“Don’t flatter yourself, doll.” Bucky retorted as he too put on his t-shirt.

Bucky Barnes Tag List

@florencxs @mystictimetravelcolor @yourphotographyteen16 @shannon-posts​ @darkbluenovember

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #james buchanan barnes #falcon and the winter soldier #falcon and the winter soldier imagines #the winter soldier #marvel #imagines #Sam Wilson #Steve Rogers #Sebastian Stan #Sebastian Stan x reader #Sebastian Stan imagines

[libraryofloveletters]

Cake & Kisses

Evan Buckley x Reader 

Warnings: nothing really 

Category: fluff with like 0.01 angst if you squint 

Word Count: 2.8k (This one kind of ran away from me oops)

Author’s Note: This is for my darling @mrs-dr-reid, when I saw it was your birthday, I had to write a little something for you. Happy birthday again! <3

----

The sun peeked through the curtains just as your alarm went off. Your boyfriend, Buck, had a habit of closing the curtains before he left for work which you didn’t mind on your days off but today, you couldn't wait to get out of bed. 

See, today was a special day. It was your birthday and Buck had been hinting all week that he had a surprise for you. 

“Babe?!” you shouted as you rolled out of bed.

Peering over the railing, you looked around for your boyfriend, but he was nowhere to be found. You picked up your phone to find a few messages, birthday wishes from your mom and your siblings before you came across a text from Buck. 

From Buck: Headed into work early, covering for Eddie. Chris came down with something so he took him to the doctors. See you at work, love you 

To Buck: Okay, love you too 

Huh. No birthday wish. It was a bit strange considering how excited he was but you didn’t think anything of it. Maybe he would tell you at work. You replied to your siblings and just as you were going to reply to your mom, she called you. You spoke with her as you got ready for work. She wished you well before letting you go. 

The drive to the station was quicker than expected. Walking in, it seemed like a normal day, you went through your routine- changing, clock in and head up for breakfast. You braced yourself, hoping that maybe there was a surprise for you but nope, just a regular old day. Hen was sitting on the couch, her legs up on the table with Chimney beside her in the same position, both of them saying good morning as you passed by. You smiled at them on your way to the kitchen, your boyfriend had his back turned to you, he was getting a cup of coffee. 

Your arms wrap around his waist, hugging him from behind. “Hey you” you smile, Buck’s hand comes down to rest on top of yours, “good morning baby. Want some coffee?” he turns, a mug in his other hand. You sigh, looking up at your boyfriend- head tilted slightly with a small smile on your face. 

“What ?” he smiles too, his expression mirroring yours. Shaking your head, you smile, “nothing. You just look cute that's all.” 

“Hm, so do you” he leans, meeting you halfway before giving you a kiss. 

“I’ll be back love, I forgot my phone in my locker” you give his hip a squeeze before unwrapping your arms from him and heading down the stairs. Once you reach the locker room, you see Eddie in there. Knocking on the wall to give him a heads up, he turns to the door. “Oh hey” he smiles and turns back to his locker. 

“Hey, how’s Chris feeling ?” 

“Chris ?” he trails off, he was unsure what you were talking about. 

“Buck said Chris wasn’t feeling well. You took him to the doctors ?” leaning against the lockers, you look at Eddie. You watch as his confusion changes into understanding. 

“Oh yeah, stomach bug he picked up at school. Carla’s at home with him” he says, he gave you another smile before stepping out of the room. 

You find your phone and sit on one of the benches. You find a few more messages from your friends from high school and such - not that you didn’t appreciate them, it was just that none of the messages were from who you really wanted one from. Regardless, you said thank you and moved on. 

Heading back up to the kitchen,  the team had made themselves comfortable at the table and they were having a conversation until they saw you. The conversation stopped, they were all looking at you. 

“Come sit, breakfast is gonna get cold” Bobby smiles, nodding towards the chair beside Buck. 

You take a seat next to your boyfriend, he smiles at you as his hand comes down and rests on your thigh. “Did I interrupt something just now?” questioning, you take a sip of coffee which you soon realized was Buck judging by the overpowering sweetness. 

“We were just talking about the latest episode, Buck said you hadn't seen it yet” Hen tells you, you hum. 

Breakfast was interrupted by the sound of blaring alarms. Everyone loaded up onto the truck, you could feel the awkwardness building by the second. From Buck leaving early this morning, to Eddie seeming confused about taking Chris to the doctors and then the dropped conversation at breakfast- something was off today. 

Nonetheless, you pushed all the awkwardness aside and did your job. There was a little kid who gotten himself stuck at the top of a tree but his father couldn't go up to get him because the branch was about to break. The entire team wasn't exactly needed, Eddie got up on the ladder and got the little boy down. 

You were sitting on the curb of the street when Buck found you. “Hey, we’re about to leave.” the displeasure evident on your face, Buck sat beside you. 

“Are you okay babe ?” 

“What day is it today ?” 

“The 5th, why ?” 

“So you know what day it is then” 

“Well yeah” Buck chuckled, “are you sure you’re alright ?” he asked once more, you hummed before getting up and leaving him at the side of the road.

--- 

The station was quiet, most of the team had left half an hour ago. Hen was on her way home to Karen and the kids, Chimney was going on a date with Maddie and Eddie was on his way home to his little boy. Your boyfriend Buck, also headed home because he was tired.

Bobby had made dinner and it didn’t seem fair for everyone to leave and have him be stuck with paperwork and dishes so you stuck around and tidied up a bit. After clearing the table and washing the dishes, as well as sticking the leftovers in the fridge, you head down to change and then go home. Seeing that it was empty, you took your sweet time changing. You were sitting on the bench, putting on your shoes when you saw Bobby coming towards you. 

“Did you clean the kitchen ?” he asks, stepping further into the locker room. 

“Yeah, I heard that you had some paperwork so it didn’t seem fair that you got stuck cleaning” you tell him. 

“Thank you,” he smiles and sits beside you, “did they all leave ?” 

“Yeah” you hum. 

Bobby nudged your shoulder with his, “Happy birthday y/n” he smiles, you look at him- shocked. “You remembered ?” “Of course, how could I not?” 

“Thanks” you give him another smile, which turns into a sigh. “What’s wrong ?”he asks you. 

“Oh, it’s nothing. Isn't Athena waiting for you at home ?” 

“She’ll be okay if I'm a few minutes late, what’s on your mind kid?”  

“It’s just that you’re the only one that remembered” you admit to him quietly. 

“Your birthday ? Surely at least Buck remembered” he looks at you. 

You shake your head, sighing. “Sorry, I feel like dumb whining about it. It’s just a birthday you know ? I mean they’ve got busy lives, it’s fine” you tell him, you were trying to reassure yourself more than you were trying to convince Bobby. 

“Hey, don’t apologize.” He gives your hand a squeeze, “why don’t you come over? You can have dinner with Athena and I” 

“Thank you, but I couldn’t do that. I can’t crash your plans like that” 

“Y/n, I assure you that you wouldn’t be crashing our plans. Plus, she’s been asking me when she’s going to see you again” he chuckles and gets up, “come on. I’ll call her and let her know that we’re coming” Bobby reaches into his pocket for his phone when you get up, you follow him outside and then the two of you head towards his house. 

The whole drive over, you couldn’t stop thinking about how they forgot your birthday. You could understand everyone else- Hen, she had Karen and her family to think about. Eddie was worried about Chris who wasn't feeling the best right now and Chimney and Maddie had a baby on the way- but Buck, that one hurt. 

Bobby waited for you outside and both headed in. He stepped in first, shouting for Athena as he walked in. “Honey! I’m home! Y/n’s with me!” he shouted, stepping further into the house. Bobby walked down the stairs first, the house was quiet and you hadn't heard Athena answer him either.  You followed him in, shutting the door when you stepped in. As you round the corner, you see the living room was empty, Bobby now by the dining room table with Athena. 

“Y/n, sweetheart!” Athena called for you as she saw you. She made her way over, arms opened for a hug. “Happy birthday!” She pulls you in for a hug, your arms wrapping around her. 

“Thank you Athena,” you give her a smile. “Hopefully, I'm not ruining any plans” She leads you towards the table, her hand now resting on your back. 

“Not at all, actually we were just waiting on you” she says, your brows furrow and head tilts in confusion. She holds your shoulders and spins you towards the kitchen where the team and their families are standing. 

“Happy birthday!” they all shout, you let out a laugh. “I cannot believe y’all” you’re smiling so much, it physically hurts your face. “Thank you, you guys are so sweet - and here I was thinking y’all forgot” 

“How could we forget your birthday?” Chimney asks as he comes over to give you a hug, Maddie following him and repeating his actions. Maddie wasn't far along but just far enough for her bump to start showing, your hand rests on her stomach for a moment, she smiles as her hand comes up to rest on yours. 

A few moments later, Hen and Karen come over, both wishing you a happy birthday as Denny and Nia give you the card they made for you. You crouch down to give them a hug, thanking them for the beautiful card they made you and promising them that it’s going to go up on the fridge when you get home.

Eddie and Chris were next, Chris wrapping his arms around your waist as he leant into your side. Your hand coming to his hair, running your fingers through it. “I thought you had the stomach bug lil man” you look down at the boy who was grinning at you. “No, dad and Buck said that so dad could pick up your birthday cake” he tells you, spilling all of his father and Buck’s secrets. “Is that so?” you ask him, looking at Eddie who was holding back a smile. “Yeah! it’s chocolate cake, I picked the flavour” he says proudly, making you smile. Chris walks off at some point while you and Eddie are talking, making his way over to Denny, Nia and Harry. 

“I know we shouldn’t have lied- are you mad ?” Eddie asks, handing you a cup of a currently unknown liquid. “I mean, kinda but not really ?” you both laugh, “happy birthday y/n” Eddie kisses your cheek before walking off. 

Finally your boyfriend makes his way over to you, slinging his arm over your shoulder. “Happy birthday baby” he smiles, kissing your temple as you lean into his side. 

“Thank you but I’m still mad at you” you huff, turning your face away from him. 

“Oh, what’s wrong ?” he asks, his thumb pushing your head back towards him. You smack his side, not hard enough to hurt him but hard enough to get his attention. “Ow! what was that for?” 

“How could you let me go all day thinking that you forgot my birthday ?!” 

“Because I had to come up with some way to keep this a secret! If I told you happy birthday, you'd realize I was up to something.” he tells you, you hum- not bothering to give his answer a reaction. You weren't actually mad, you were grateful that he took the time to plan a surprise party for you- you were grateful for the entire team, they truly were your family. 

“Don’t be mad, c’mon” he turns towards you, his hands now on your hips and your arms come up to his shoulders. “I couldn’t stay mad at you if I wanted to”  smiling at him, he leans in and kisses you. A chorus of ‘ew’ and ‘gross’ put a halt in your moment as you both look over to see the 3 boys giggling with a very confused Nia beside them. Buck laughs, sending them on their way before turning back to you.

“I hear I have chocolate cake waiting for me somewhere” 

“How’d you know that ?” he asks, obviously confused as to how you deduced the flavour of your birthday cake. 

“Christopher” 

“Ah man, that was supposed to be part of the surprise” 

“What can I say ? My charm is irresistible, he just had to tell me” you joke, Buck chuckles. Buck pulls you closer to him, his body basically pressed against yours. “Can I tell you something ?” he looks down at you- although you weren’t super short, he still towered over you, as he did everyone because he was a giant but that’s besides the point. You hum, waiting for him to tell you whatever it is he wanted to tell you.

“It was killing me not to tell you happy birthday. You have no idea how much I just wanted to pick you up and shout it” he groans and then sighs like he’s let out the biggest secret of his life. You laugh, “well I’m glad you told me anyways” you kiss his cheek, he smiles.

“Can you get me a cupcake, please ? I think they’re in the fridge” he asks, you hum. Letting go of him, you turn to the fridge. You spot your cake in the corner, blue frosting with white lettering. Finding the tray of cupcakes, you pull it out and set it in the counter before picking out one for Buck.

When you turn, Buck was gone - well it seemed like he was until you glanced down. Buck was in front of you on his knee, the black velvet box in his hand opened, a beautiful diamond ring sitting in it.

“Y/n, you make me the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I know I always tell you that I don’t believe in soulmates but with you- it’s different. You are my soulmate, the one I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with. From the first day you walked into the station with your “I’m new but I know my shit” attitude, I was into you because babe, that was so hot.” You both chuckle before he continues.

“You’re my best friend and I would do anything to show you how much I love you - literally anything. I love you and I really hope you love me as much as I love you because this is about really awkward if you don’t- will you marry me ?” he looks up at you, the hope glimmering in his eyes.

When you look at Buck, you saw your whole world, your lover, your future all wrapped up into one.

“Yes, I’ll marry you” you lean down, hands cupping his cheeks as you kiss him. He gets up before sliding the ring onto your finger. You hold your hand out, admiring the ring. 

“Oh baby, it’s beautiful” you smile at him, his arm over your shoulder again. The two of you make your way to the backyard with everyone else.

“Guys!” Buck shouts, everyone stops and looks at the two of you. “We have an announcement to make,” he says, looking at you and smiling.

“We’re getting married!” You both shout simultaneously.

Everyone’s just as shocked as you were moments ago in the kitchen. “What?!” Chimney shouts back, making you laugh. You hold your hand out, showing him the ring. “Holy shit,” he turns back, looking at everyone. “They’re getting married”

Soon enough everyone comes over to congratulate the two of you, one by one. You and Buck stood together, he was talking to Bobby and Athena, his arm still over your shoulder. You look around the backyard, everyone’s smiling and happy.

This was your happy place, these people were your family and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

---- 

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[carocane]

pick me up and hold me close

Flufftober Day 6 - Fireman’s Carry

@flufftober2021

9-1-1

Eddie Diaz/Evan “Buck” Buckley (Buddie)

“You can’t pick me up!”

“Yes I can, Eddie. I’ve done it before.”

“That doesn’t count, you were running on pure adrenaline then, Buck.”

“It doesn’t matter, that still totally counts.”

The argument has been going on for far too long and nobody can really remember how it started anymore. The rest of the firehouse is already tired of Buck and Eddie going back and forth on whether Buck can pick up the other firefighter. And it seems like there’s no end to this in sight. Until Hen steps in to finally settle it.

“Ok, fine Buckaroo. If you think you can pick Eddie up, prove it” Hen challenges. The rest of the crew comes to a standstill and all the attention turns to the pair verbally sparring in the middle of the gym.

Eddie’s eyebrow raises and he smirks at his partner, daring him to take up the challenge. He wants to see what Buck is going to do. 

Buck turns to Hen and Chimney for support at that. “Tell him I picked him up before and I can do it again.”

“You say you did but you were the only one there. Plus, like Eddie said, you were running on fear and adrenaline. I’m not sure you could pick him up now.” Hen is mostly having fun winding up the younger firefighter but kind of wants to see where this goes.

“Yes I can. Eddie, come here so I can show all of you.” 

“Ok, if you think you can pick me up, you come over here and do it.” Eddie feels something new, something weighted in meaning, in the gaze he turns on Buck. It makes Buck pause and go red all over. He’s suddenly not sure what’s happening but he likes it.

Read the rest on AO3 

or

Just then the alarm rings and everyone springs into action, racing toward the trucks and whatever disaster awaits them. Before they climb into the ladder truck, Buck leans close to Eddie. “This isn’t over Diaz,” he whispers before jumping in. Eddie stumbles for a moment before climbing in and closing the door. He tried to play it off but he’s pretty sure Buck noticed.

The rest of the group has seemingly forgotten the argument and Eddie tries his hardest to put it out of his mind as well, at least until they’re done at whatever scene they’re headed to.

The multi-car accident they attend ends up being long but not too terrible. Everyone managed to walk away mostly unhurt but there’s a lot of clean up to do.

The crew finally returns to the fire house with only a few hours left on shift, exhausted and ready to relax until the next call or they’re off duty.

They’re all sprawled around the loft upstairs when Buck remembers the debate from earlier and turns to Eddie. “Hey, I never got to prove that I can pick you up.”

“Yeah cause you deliberately drew it out until the alarm rang. Because you know you can’t.”

“Ok, that’s it. Get up, we’re doing this.”

“No, Buck. This is ridiculous.” Eddie continues to lounge back on the couch and doesn’t see it coming when Buck suddenly lunges for him. He blames not being prepared as the reason Buck is able to lift him over his shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry.

His whole world is turned upside down, literally and figuratively. He’s perched precariously on Buck’s shoulders but has somehow never felt more secure. He knows Buck would never drop him or intentionally hurt him.

Eddie also finds out that he very much likes being picked up and held by Buck, only maybe next time in a slightly different and more intimate position. He’s so caught up in his thoughts he almost misses Buck crowing about his victory.

“See, I told you I could pick you up. It wasn’t just adrenaline.”

“Yeah, ok ok, you can pick me up. Good job Buck,” Eddie says, still distracted by the new thoughts swirling around in his head.

Eddie is deposited gently back onto the couch, his mind still whirling a million miles an hour.

This whole thing started as a stupid argument with his best friend and now Eddie finds himself examining the two of them in a new light. He really liked being picked up and would like to explore that further but Buck is currently too caught up in his victory to notice the revelation Eddie is having.

That’s ok, they plan to hang out tonight and Eddie can use that opportunity to talk Buck into picking him up again.  

He spends most of the rest of the shift examining Buck’s broad shoulders and long legs. He’s never really looked at another man like this but finds himself unable to stop. He’s still not sure what it all means.

Thankfully they aren’t called out anymore and can go home at the time their shift ends.

Buck and Eddie get changed out in the locker room, Eddie trying not to steal glances at Buck as he switches to his civilian clothes. He’s not as successful as he’d like to be. He catches a glimpse of arm muscles as Buck pulls on his hoodie and Eddie remembers what it was like to be picked up and held aloft by them.

Eddie shakes his head to clear those thoughts. Now is not the time for them.

“I’m following you to your place, right?” Buck asks as he grabs his back and lifts it onto his shoulder. Eddie finds himself a little bit jealous of that bag. He wants to be the one casually lifted and carried around by Buck.

“Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

The two men get comfortable on the couch with a couple of beers when they get to the house. Christopher is at a sleepover for a friend's birthday, so they put on an action movie they wouldn’t be able to watch with a kid there.

They halfway pay attention to the movie as they unwind from the day and idly tease each other about various things they’d said and done that day, just like they always do. Until Buck brings up the thing.

The thing Eddie has been fixated on since it happened.

“I told you I could pick you up. You couldn’t even get down. I had you good.” Buck smirks, proud of himself for his win.

“It’s not like I tried very hard,” Eddie replied dryly before he could stop himself, possibly revealing too much.

Buck turns to him with a searching look, like he’s trying to figure out if Eddie meant what he thinks he meant. The air between them feels different, as they lock eyes and have the type of silent communication that’s always come so easily to them. This time it’s different. It means so much more. They’re opening themselves up to each other in ways they never have before.

Buck all of a sudden seems a lot closer than he’s ever been.

“Tell me if this isn’t what you want” Buck whispers just before he leans the rest of the way in and captures Eddie’s lips with his own. The kiss is soft but firm and perfect.

"I want this. With you," Eddie pulls just far enough away to assure his partner before he deepens it, drawing impossibly closer to Buck. Still not close enough, his body screams. Buck seems to know exactly what the problem is and pulls him across the last distance between them and into his lap, his strong arms wrapped securely around Eddie. Eddie felt a moment of incredible weightlessness as he willingly went to his new perch.

This is what he has been waiting for since that first time Buck picked him up. This is what he has been craving for longer than he was letting himself admit. Now all his barriers are down, knocked out by the man currently holding him.

“Do you wanna take this somewhere else?” Buck asks between kisses, barely giving Eddie a chance to think.

It takes Eddie a heartbeat to process the question but he knows instantly what the answer is. “Take me to bed,” he requests with another deep kiss.

Buck stands with Eddie in his arms in one effortless motion, the two of them clinging together.

Buck proved he could pick him up but Eddie feels like he is the real winner here.

#911 fox #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #carocane writes #flufftober2021

[anon911andbuddie]

Prompt: After the ladder truck crushed Buck’s leg he becomes estranged from the team. Buck ends up losing the leg, and Eddie finds out after the fact from Christopher. Buddie h/c ensues

As always, this got away from me. I started this prompt weeks ago but it just kept getting longer and longer, then realized I missed a tiny prompt aspect and reworked it. Then again it got longer and longer. And oops, the word count is now over 7.5k. But it is finished.

So strap in for some angst, hurt/comfort, firefam doing firefam things, and Buddie finally gets their moment. Hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I did writing and rewriting.  

-Scarlet 📕

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of death (Shannon's), Bombing, hostage situations (AKA events of season 2, episode 18), Hospitals, injury, infection, amputation, depression, refusal to eat, anxiety, swearing, nightmares, secret keeping, hints of gaslighting, attempted ghosting, self-deprecation. And all around Buck Drama.

At What Cost?

Everyone kept telling Buck that he was lucky to be alive. That he had survived a bombing and being trapped under a 20-ton truck. Buck didn’t feel lucky. He had survived, but it cost him the use of his leg. Sure his leg was still attached but the muscle damage was enough to force him out of his job. One guy pressed a button and undid Buck’s entire life. His career as a firefighter was over. His parents hadn’t even come to see him. Sure they called, but it was like his ruined life meant nothing to them. He couldn’t live in the apartment he hadn’t even fully moved into yet since he couldn’t use the stairs. Buck was so beyond done.

The most annoying part was that his story was all over the news, Taylor Kelly had seen to that. Eddie had actually been furious about how she played up her so-called “personal connection” for the story. Buck genuinely didn’t care about Taylor Kelly right now. Anywhere he tried to go people would recognize him, pity him, and that wasn’t totally on her. Every news station jumped at the opportunity to showcase the whole disaster. He hated it. He hated everything. He couldn’t do his job. He had no purpose. No matter how his sister, his girlfriend, his team, Carla, or even Christopher tried to tell him it would get better. He didn’t believe them. His leg was useless. There was no going back from this.

He didn’t care if the city and the fire department had compensated him decently for having an on-the-job accident resulting in his inability to work, but Buck knew they only did it because the whole thing had gone viral. The world finally recognized Buck as a hero, too bad he would never feel like one again. He was just a burden now. A burden on the system, a burden on his friends. They had insisted that he might not be on the team anymore, but he was still one of them. He found that hard to believe. They all had their own lives. Bobby and Athena eloping proved it. They didn’t need a cripple ex-firefighter messing things up for them. And Eddie, Christopher, even Maddie, all had their own trauma to deal with. They didn’t need him making things worse. He didn’t want that for his family. So he did the only reasonable thing in his book. As soon as he had any semblance of autonomy back he did what he knew they all probably secretly wished would happen. He pulled away. He had found a new apartment and didn't really tell anyone where he was. They left him messages. They were all worried.

"He needs time," the doctors told them. "He will need to adjust. He just lost his job, his pride is wounded. He might feel like he has lost his independence."

Carla had been the only person able to get to him and even she saw him sparingly because she had her own responsibilities. It was weeks later when Eddie got an unsettling phone call from Carla saying she needed a few days off.

"Everything alright, your family okay?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, they’re fine,” Carla assured him. “It's...well, Buck needs my help for a few days."

"Oh," Eddie tried not to sound hurt that his best friend had called Carla for help and not him. Eddie knew that Carla had been his friend first, but he was his best friend. "I'll see if Abuela can look after Chris. Let Buck know we miss him."

"I will," she assured him again. "Thanks, Eddie."

Eddie felt bad but just two days after he gave Carla the time off she needed he had found out Abuela couldn’t cover one of the days. So Eddie did the only thing he could, he called Carla.

“I know I said I would get Abuela to watch him, but she can’t tomorrow. Is it possible you could at least pick him up and -”

“Let me check and call you back,” Carla told him and hung up. She called back a couple of minutes later. She sighed but told him it was fine. “I can bring him with me, it won't be an issue.”

The next day at work they were all shocked by a surprise visitor.

“Hello?” Ali said as she entered the station loft a few weeks later. Bobby swiftly got to his feet. No one had really seen her since Buck was released.

“Hey, Ali, is everything alright? How’s Buck?” Bobby asked.

“That’s actually why I’m here,” Ali said.

“What about Buck?” Eddie asked as he joined them, drawing the attention of Hen and Chimney.

“Have any of you heard from him recently?” Ali asked.

They looked at each other and shook their heads.

“That’s what I thought,” Ali said. “This probably isn’t my place, but I think someone should check on him.”

“You’re his girlfriend, why wouldn’t it be your place?” Hen asked, confusion clear on her face.

“Was, past tense, he…” Ali sighed. “He broke it off, but that isn’t my point.” She shook her head. “No, after they...I know he has been through something no one can prepare themselves for. I know he is struggling, but he doesn’t want me there.”

"When did you guys split?" Eddie asked.

"A few days ago," Ali admitted.

“Huh,” Eddie said. “Well Chris is with Carla today and I know she’s seen him. I’ll ask her-”

“Yes, Carla,” Ali nodded. “She is the only one he seems to trust these days.”

“What are you trying to say, Ali?” Bobby asked.

“I’m saying he isn’t doing well and needs someone to check in on him, and well, that’s not only part of your job but you’re like his family.” She looked from face to face as she spoke. “I’m sure he’ll be more receptive to you guys.”

“We’ll check on him,” Bobby assured her.

“That’s all I’m asking,” Ali said.

Eddie’s anxiety only grew when Christopher had been unusually silent since Carla dropped him off. His son didn't really want to talk about where he'd been or what he did at school and he didn't really touch his dinner. It had alarm bells going off in Eddie's head. They had made some progress trying to get back some semblance of normal after losing Shannon. It was like all that progress was undone in one afternoon. He had sent Carla a text and she had told him Christopher just needed time to deal with what he went through. She assured him he would talk to Eddie when he was ready, but Eddie had an uneasy feeling he was missing something. It wasn't until he woke up at 3 am and heard sniffling when he went to check on his son did Eddie get really worried.

"Hey, Buddy, have a bad dream?" Eddie asked. Christopher nodded. "Want to tell me about it?" Eddie didn't like the way Christopher hesitated to answer.

"He didn't want anyone to know, but I know and-" Christopher let out a sob and Eddie pulled him into a hug. When Christopher had quieted some Eddie tried to find out what was going on.

"What happened, Bud?" He asked. "What weren't you supposed to know?"

"That Buck's leg is gone," Christopher told him and Eddie didn't know what he expected, but it sure as hell didn't expect that.

"What?" Eddie asked.

Christopher pulled back and looked up at his dad with tear-filled eyes. "Gone, gone. They took it off. From here," Christopher pointed at his dad's knee and down to his toes. "To here is gone."

"It was just a dream, Chris," Eddie told him earning another round of sobs as Christopher shook his head.

"They did in real life too," Christopher cried.

Eddie froze. Was this really happening? The doctors had said Buck needed time to heal and that he would hopefully get back on his feet in time. What the hell had happened? Why hadn't Buck told him? Why didn't Carla? How was he just learning this at 3 am from his son?

"Dad?" Christopher tugged at his arm.

Eddie had to clear his throat before he could speak. "I'm here, bud,” Eddie spoke softly, trying to assure his son that everything would be alright. He held Christopher close. “Whatever is going on with Buck, we'll figure it out, okay? I talk to Carla and Buck, and we'll help him, okay?" Christopher nodded. Eddie smiled and asked, "Think you can try to sleep now?"

"Yeah," Christopher said as he got settled back in his bed. "Thanks, Dad."

Eddie gave his son a kiss on the forehead. "Night, Bud. Love you."

"Love you too."

As soon as Eddie was in his bedroom he pulled out his phone and went to dial Bobby's number but he stopped. It was 3 am and he didn't have any real facts, just what Christopher said. Instead, he sent Carla a text that Christopher had told him and to call him first thing. Then he settled in for what he knew was a sleepless night.

Eddie drank his third cup of coffee after waking up two hours before his alarm from another nightmare about the bombing. He dreamed he'd failed to save Buck and he had buried his best friend right next to his wife. So he was wide awake when his phone rang.

"For the record," Carla said when he did. "I told him he needed to tell at least Maddie, you, and Bobby too."

"What happened?" Eddie asked.

She sighed. "I noticed some discoloration on his leg when I was visiting. We got it checked out and he ended up with a nasty infection and with the amount of tissue damage he already had, well..." Eddie's chest felt painfully tight as Carla spoke. He must have made a noise because when she continued she said, "I'm sorry, Eddie, but you know as well as I do, there wasn't much of an option at that point…"

"They had to amputate it," Eddie finished for her. He gripped the phone tighter as his hands began to shake.

"They did," Carla affirmed.

"Shit," Eddie cursed under his breath, he could feel tears in his eyes.

"I know it is a lot to take in. I was surprised Christopher handled it so well, but he-"

"He really didn't," Eddie sort of blurted out.

"What? Is he okay?" Carla sounded suddenly very alert.

"I woke up to him crying at 3 am. He was telling me that Buck's leg was gone from the knee down and I figured it was just a bad dream, he told me it wasn't, and honestly, it felt like I'd been sucker-punched." Eddie let out a shaking breath as he rubbed at his eyes to keep from crying. "I told him that I'd talk to you, and hopefully Buck and we'd figure something out, but that felt almost like a lie. Why didn't he tell me? Or the team? Or-"

"He wasn't ready," Carla said. "I really hoped he would let you all back in but he was hurting and after watching him push Ali away, I was a bit worried he would do the same with all of you. I was genuinely shocked he agreed to let Christopher come over. Then again, when doesn't he put Christopher's well-being before his own..."

"How...how bad is he?" Eddie felt his nails dig into the palm of the hand that wasn’t gripping the phone.

"Honestly, Eddie," Carla said sadly, "Physically, he is healing. The infection was isolated to an area about mid-calf level. So they could save his knee, and that means a lot for future mobility."

Eddie let out a strangled sob. "God, Carla, he must be a wreck. He must be hurting."

"He is, but he doesn't want to add to anyone else's plate, especially you and Christopher. He-"

"What? No," Eddie said, taken aback. "He is my best friend, my partner, we agreed to always have each other's back."

"That's just it, Eddie. You don't work together anymore. You aren't partners. That was-"

"No, absolutely not," Eddie stated. "Doesn't matter, job or no job, it changes nothing. He is still my best friend. He was there every step after…" Eddie grew quiet.

"Eddie? You still there?" Carla questioned.

"Yeah...I," Eddie said his tone quiet and sorrowful. "He didn't want us to worry, especially so soon after Shannon, didn't he..."

"He was hoping to avoid, well, he was hoping to avoid Christopher being afraid of losing him."

"By pushing us away? Might have meant less horrific Buck-centric nightmares, but he'd still be losing his Buck. It'd be just like when Shannon left the first time. How is that preferable?"

"I hoped with time he would see that, but here we are," Carla admitted.

"I...have to make some phone calls. Call me if anything else happens, and I mean anything, okay?”

"Sure, Eddie. Tell Chris that it'll be okay. That Buck is getting better. He just might need some help feeling better, but he will get there."

"I will. Thanks, Carla."

Eddie looked at the clock and realized he needed to get Christopher up for school. After they had gotten ready, they ate breakfast, and he got Christopher off to school. Eddie pulled his phone out and called Bobby.

"Morning, Eddie, how's Christopher?" Bobby asked.

"Well he had a rough night but that's why I'm calling. Bobby, he told me at 3 am that Buck had lost his leg."

"What?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, at first I thought he was telling me about a dream, but I talked to Carla and they really did have to amputate his leg."

"Why? What happened?"

"Carla said he got an infection, and they couldn't save it. Bobby," Eddie let out a shaking breath.

Bobby had to sit down. This was because of him. Freddie had blown up that truck to hurt Bobby, and he did, more than Freddie could possibly know. He took the heart of 118 and smashed it to pieces. Buck had always been so good at keeping them all light-hearted. The firehouse just didn't feel the same without him. From Buck’s point of view, Freddie had taken everything but his life. Freddie had taken his job, his connection to his friends, and now his leg. Bobby had told Buck that he might not be on the team anymore but he was still part of their family. Bobby had listened to the professionals and trusted that Buck just needed time. Now he was kicking himself. He thinks of all the times he sat beside him as Buck lay in a hospital bed. He was even one of his emergency contacts. Bobby cursed himself. He should have tried harder. He shouldn't have relied on Eddie talking to Carla. He should have just looked after him himself like he had promised himself after that first hospital trip. This was all his fault.

"Bobby?" Eddie called his name.

"I'm still here," Bobby told him. "Does Maddie know?"

"No, she doesn't," Eddie answered. "Carla said she tried to get him to tell her and us."

"I'll call her," Bobby sighed.."

"Thanks, Bobby."

"You okay?" Athena asked as she sat beside her husband. He didn't know how to answer that. He didn't know if he was. Buck had been through so much because of him, and Bobby missed it. He wasn't there when the bomb went off. He wasn't there when he got the infection. He wasn't there when they amputated his leg. He should have been.

"What happened?" Athena asked when it was clear Bobby wasn't going to answer that particular question.

"Buck's injured leg became infected,” Bobby replied. “They had to amputate."

"That poor kid just can't catch a break," Athena said sadly.

"I need to call Maddie," Bobby said.

"Why you?" Athena asked.

"Because I owe them at least that much," Bobby said as he looked through the contacts on his phone.

"Bobby," Athena started but he cut her off.

"He wouldn't be in this mess if It wasn't for me," He told his wife.

Athena shook her head. "You didn't blow up that truck, you didn't get him sick. You-"

"But I wasn't there, Athena. I should have been. If I had been there that night-"

"You didn't have a choice,” a very serious Athena told him, “and you got there as soon as you could. You faced a bomber with a death wish to save him. Freddie is the one to blame. Freddie detonated that bomb. Freddie wouldn't let the medics go to him right away. Freddie made this happen."

"All to hurt me,” Bobby said with remorse, “and Buck paid the price. "

"And the fact it does hurt you, means you are a good person. You would have taken Buck's place in a heartbeat, but Freddie would have killed you. Not giving you the chance to get a word in. You would be dead. Leaving Buck and the rest of us devastated. Losing a leg will be something Buck has to learn to live with, but he will do it and he will live. He will figure it out and we will all help him put his life back together. But losing you would have been so much worse for that kid. You've been down the road of what-ifs and if only’s. He'd be lost down that very same road, just like he is now. The only difference is you are still here to pull him back. You still can. So sure, call Maddie since you did just tell Eddie you would, but do it because you want Buck to feel better and have his sister there with him. Not because you think you deserve to suffer."

"Okay," Bobby sighed, he knew she was right, but he still felt like this was on him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

The call with Maddie did not go well. Bobby was glad that Chimney had been there for her. She had cried and Chim had taken over getting the information for her and she insisted on going to see him immediately. Athena called Hen and filled her in. Hen couldn't figure out how things had gotten so bad and they had missed it. Athena wished she had an answer, but sadly, no one really did.

The next afternoon, Bobby heard shouting as he approached Buck’s new wheelchair-friendly apartment. He had found out from Chim that Maddie had stayed the night at Buck's after refusing to leave her brother’s side. She went as far as crawling into his bed and they had eventually broken down and cried about it. Bobby was quick to offer to come over and spend some time with Buck while Maddie worked that evening. That was how he ended up at Buck’s new place. It would help both of them feel better if someone they knew was there.

“I said I’m FINE!” Bobby heard Buck shout. “You shouldn't have told them!” The door was cracked as he neared it so the captain could hear the more subdued voice of Maddie as he nudged it open.

“Evan please, they just want to know you are okay,” Maddie said. "You lost a leg, they care."

“They got a fucked up way of showing it!” Buck shouted. “But I’m fine. Tell them I’m fine and go.”

“Buck,” Maddie said, her voice filled with sorrow.

“Don’t.” Buck hissed through gritted teeth. “Don’t pity me.”

“It’s not pity, Buck, I-"

“Don’t guilt-trip me either,” Buck said, glaring at her.

“Buck, please,” Maddie started but stopped when she saw Bobby in the doorway. “You have a visitor.” She forced a smile and turned to Bobby. “Hi, Bobby.”

“What’s going on?” Bobby asked as he entered the apartment.

“Buck is...well,” Maddie said, on the verge of tears. “Our parents called me because he won't take their calls. They are worried about him.” Bobby heard Buck snort of derision as he wheeled his chair over.

“Hey Buck,” Bobby said as a distraction. “I brought the stuff for stir fry, figured we could make dinner.”

“That is a great idea,” Maddie smiled. “I have a shift soon, but you guys enjoy dinner.” Maddie kissed the top of her brother’s head. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Not necessary,” Buck said as he turned his chair and started towards the kitchen. “But whatever.”

“Love you,” Maddie half-shouted.

“Mmhmm,” was Buck’s only response and Bobby could tell it pained the sister. Bobby put an arm around her shoulder and walked her to the door.

“He’s adjusting, it can be a jarring process. I’m sure he’ll talk to them soon, the fact he is talking to us now means he is getting better," Bobby tried to reassure her. “Try not to read too much into the thing with your parents. I’ll see if I can cheer him up a bit.”

“Thanks, Bobby,” Maddie gave him a hug and left.

Bobby went to Buck’s kitchen and started getting the ingredients ready. Buck was quiet except for telling Bobby where things were when he asked. Bobby was glad Buck hadn't kicked him out or even ask him to leave at all. It had been months since Bobby had really seen him. They talked a few times, but the guilt Bobby felt now hit him deep down. He nearly lost Buck, then let him drift too far. He needed Buck to be okay. But he had to focus on the here and now, not his past mistakes. So he tried to get a real conversation going, but Buck’s single-word replies didn’t really make it easy. When the meal was done and they were sitting at Buck’s table, Bobby tried again. “How’s PT going?” Bobby asked. “Started working with the prosthetic yet?"

“It’s fine,” Buck answered. “The swelling is finally down enough they can hopefully fit it soon."

“Well that’s progress,” Bobby smiled as he took a bite of his dinner. "You in any pain?" Bobby finally asked now that Buck actually seemed to be speaking in full sentences.

Buck shrugged. “Not as much as there was before.”

“Well that’s not bad, means everything’s healing,” Bobby said with a nod. “Hopefully with time, it will get better, especially once you can get the muscles moving again."

Buck let out a bitter laugh as he poked at a pepper on his plate. “That’s just the thing, it’s not really going to get better.”

“You’ll walk again, Buck,” Bobby tried to assure him. “They didn't know if you would have been able to before, but with a prosthetic, you'll have a fair amount of movement back.”

“Doesn’t matter if I do,” Buck said as he set his fork down. “Thanks for dinner, but I’m not hungry,” Buck said. “I think I’m going to go lay down.”

“Do what you need to, Buck. I’ll take care of this.”

“Thanks,” Buck mumbled, wheeling himself towards his bedroom. Bobby sighed after the bedroom door closed. It broke Bobby’s heart to see Buck like that. The captain got up and started looking around the kitchen until he found some plastic containers to store the stir fry in. He was going to leave it for Buck to eat when he finally felt like eating. He hoped that Buck still had some kind of caregiver that was looking after him and making sure he ate. When he was done he took a few minutes to clean up Buck’s apartment, or really straightened up, there really wasn’t much in the apartment and his caregiver must have been keeping things tidy.

He knocked on the bedroom door when he ran out of things to do. He eased the door open when he didn't get a reply. Buck was awake and sort of staring at the ceiling.

"Hey," Bobby said, his voice quiet. "I put the rest in the fridge."

"Okay," Buck said, without even looking at Bobby.

"I'm going to head out I guess," Bobby didn't really want to leave Buck like that but it was getting late and what else could he do. He didn't want to feel like he was taking away Buck's independence, but he also didn't want him to feel abandoned. It was a tough line to walk. "Call if you need anything."

"Yeah, okay," Buck said as he glanced at Bobby before rolling on his side so his back was to his former captain.

"I'll see you soon," Bobby assured him. He didn't get a reply. It caused him to hesitate but when Buck didn't show any sign of moving he left, locking Buck's front door behind him. It hurt Bobby to leave. He had already lost so many people in his life. Leaving Buck in that way felt wrong but he wasn't Buck's dad, he wasn't even his boss anymore. This was uneasy terrain and Bobby was doing his best to do what was best for Buck. He just hoped he wasn't making the wrong decision.

Eddie knocked on Buck's door on their next day off. Bobby had told him how Buck had seemed so broken. Eddie couldn’t believe Buck still hadn’t answered his calls. He wanted to make sure his best friend was okay, but his best friend wasn’t making it easy. Maddie had assured him it was probably just because Buck didn't want to burden Eddie so soon after losing Shannon. Sure, Eddie had just lost his wife, but now he felt like he was failing his best friend. He shook himself from his thoughts and looked over at Christopher. He was surprised when he tried the handle and it wasn't even locked. This was LA. Was Buck trying to get robbed? Was his caretaker that reckless?

"Hey, Buck," he said as they let themselves in. "It's just us,” Eddie called out. “You stay here,” he told Christopher as he shut the door. “I’m going to check on, Buck.”

“Okay,” Christopher said and went to sit on the couch, turning the tv on as he did.

Eddie headed towards what Christopher had said was the bedroom. He knocked before pushing the door open. "You hear me?" Eddie asked.

"Yes, Eddie," Buck grumbled from where he was on the bed. "I heard you. Honestly, not sure I'm up for it today.”

"That's okay, we can go at whatever speed you want," Eddie said. "Why don't we go out and get something to eat, get some sunshine."

"Not really hungry," Buck told him.

"Okay," Eddie said. "It's like 75 in here, aren't you roasting?" He moved to help Buck pull back some of the blankets back but was stopped when Buck shoved his hand away. "Buck, man aren't you hot?" The medic didn't miss how Buck looked at the spot where his leg would be if he still had it. "Buck, I was an army medic, I know my fair share of amputees. I was there when you were hurt and I am trying to be here now. It's okay."

"It's really not," Buck said. "You want to see it, fine." Buck pulled the cover back to show his wrapped leg. Angry red skin peeking from the wrapping worried the medic. He was also worried by the fact Buck seemed to be avoiding looking at it himself.

"Hey," Eddie knelt down beside the bed. "I know I haven't been around and I’d go back and change that if I could, but nothing you can do is going to scare me off."

"Sure, Eddie," Buck grumbled, clearly not taking him seriously.

"I'm not lying, Buck. I've missed having my best friend around. If you think I didn't ask Carla every damn day how you were, then you are mistaken. Christopher is here too, he’s out watching TV."

"But I can't take care of him like I could before," Buck said.

"Maybe, but if you think Chris cares that you don't have a leg then you clearly need a Christopher Diaz refresher course, because you could literally be in a coma or completely paralyzed and he'd still want to visit you every day and talk your ear off. You always loved him despite the crutches and CP, do you really think he wouldn't do the same. You're his hero, Buck. You survived being blown up and crushed. He damn near thinks your magic."

"But I can't-"

“No buts, now let me take a look at your leg. I want to make sure it is just irritated from PT or something like that," Eddie said as he slowly reached for the bandage. He internally cheered when Buck didn't slap him away. He continued to speak as he did. "Then, you’re going to hang out with Christopher so you can see for yourself that the Diaz boys are stubborn when you try to turn us away. Like shoving a brick wall."

"Talking to one too," Buck grumbled, but Eddie looked over at him he saw the hint of a smile. That was a victory Eddie would take. He finished checking over what was left of Buck's leg. And rebandaged it. "How does it look?" Buck asked him.

"A lot better than anything I saw in the field. So it looks great in my book." Eddie grinned at the eye roll it earned him. “You going to get up?” When Buck hesitated and pulled the blankets back over his leg Eddie nodded. “Okay, we’ll play it your way.” Eddie went and turned off the TV and scooped Christopher up. He ignored the mild protest and confusion from his son as he went back into the bedroom and carefully put his son on the bed.

“Hi Buck,” Christopher said when he’d settled into the bed.

“Hey Bud,” Buck replied.

“See, better already,” Eddie said as he grabbed the remote for the TV that was on Buck’s dresser and went to sit on the other side of Christopher. He found the cartoon Christopher had been watching in the living room and set the remote down. “Everybody good?” he asked, looking between his son and his best friend.

“Yeah,” Christopher said as he cuddled into Buck’s side. Buck gave a silent nod and stared at the TV.

“Good,” Eddie nodded and settled in. An hour or so passed before Christopher complained he was hungry. Only after some encouragement from Christopher did Buck agree to get out of bed, but only if they went and get lunch started. Eddie hesitated, he was there to help Buck. Buck glared and repeated that he’d be out in a minute. Eddie reminded himself that Buck had always been independent. Not always by choice, but he was. So Eddie agreed and after helping Christopher out of the bed, they headed toward the kitchen. He was almost done assembling the sandwiches when Buck rolled in to join them, a blanket covering his legs. Eddie wanted to tell him he’d overheat, but fearing another argument, he kept it to himself. Instead, he sent Christopher out to sit at the table. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to Buck. “Some of those meds will suck you dry if you aren’t careful,” Eddie stated as an excuse.

“So will the medical bills,” Buck grumbled but didn’t refuse the drink.

“Still beats the VA, you’d still be waiting on getting looked at. Not even Carla could manage that red tape,” Eddie said as he put the sandwiches all on one plate.

“Oh I am telling Carla you doubt her awesomeness,” Buck stated, a grin taking over his features.

Eddie damn near cried at how happy he was to see some semblance of joy in his weary best friend. He had to remind himself to say something. “Try scheduling a follow-up at the VA while rehabbing your arm after taking an armor-piercing round. I’m not even sure they know how to answer a phone, and when they do, yikes. So much anger in those receptionists. I think they’re genetically modified to spit venom if you really cross them. I doubt even Carla would want to take them on, even with her awesomeness.”

Buck laughed and Eddie’s pretty sure his heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t really realized how much he missed that sound, or just being around Buck in general.

“Okay, okay, genetically modified receptionists would be a military thing,” Buck grinned. “And, we all know the VA is slower than snails.”

“It is. Here,” Eddie grinned, handing Buck the plate of sandwiches. “Go feed the kid before we all end up in trouble.”

“Can’t have that now can we,” Buck said as he set the plate in his lap and carefully made his way to the table.

“Thanks, Buck,” Christopher smiled when Buck gave him one of the sandwiches. Eddie set a plate with veggies and chips, alongside an open bottle of juice in front of Christopher. The three of them set to eating. Eddie waiting for both Buck and Christopher to start before he did. He knew Buck avoiding meals was probably more him avoiding getting out of bed to eat. He knew Buck loved food. So he was pleased when Buck didn’t put up a fight over the sandwich. After lunch and some coaxing, the three of them decided to go to the park. It was a normal thing for them to do. Get some sun, as fresh of air you could get in a large metropolitan city, and let Christopher play with some kids outside of school. They were both watching Christopher talking with another boy about some action figures when Buck glanced at Eddie.

“So uh...how’s work?” Buck asked.

“It’s work,” Eddie said, unsure of how to handle the topic. He knows it can’t be easy for him.

“You guys find a replacement for me yet?” Buck asked, his eyes trained on Christopher, refusing to show the emotions he felt.

“No one can replace you, Buck,” Eddie told him, squeezing Buck’s shoulder as he did. “I mean, we have a new guy, but if you thought me joining was a pain, this guy has it so much worse.”

“How?” Buck asked, finally looking at Eddie. “How could it be worse than some hotshot decorated army medic stealing all the thunder?” Buck’s joke earning him a small chuckle. “Can’t be worse than when I started,” Buck stated.

“Well he hasn’t stolen the truck, but he’s no you,” Eddie shrugged. “It’s a job to the guy, no passion, no heart. I mean he gets the job done, but it’s not the same. No spark in the guy. Not like you.”

“Like me?” Buck asked.

“Well yeah,” Eddie stated. “I mean, you always had something to tell us about at the start of shift, some exciting thing you saw, or weird thing you learned on the internet. You always had some factoid to keep whoever it is we were helping out of their own head if needed. Sure, it could be annoying at times, but it was endearing and effective when necessary. The dude is practically a robot in comparison.”

A few days later they were all shocked when Bobby stopped in his tracks during a post-call check and restock.

“Buck,” Bobby said, catching everyone’s attention. “Glad to see you out and about.”

“Yeah well, Eddie said this place was downright gloomy without me, so I had to stop by,” Buck stated.

Eddie snorted as he closed one of the compartment doors on the truck. “Okay, that is a bit of an exaggeration.”

“Teeny bit,” Buck smirked.

“Looking good, Buckaroo,” Hen grinned as she came to hug him.

“That’s a lie and we both know it, but thanks for trying,” Buck grinned as he hugged her back.

“Nah, the way these two made it sound, you were a dramatized disaster,” Chim gestured at Bobby and Eddie as he spoke.

“Also an exaggeration,” Eddie stated. “And Ali was the one that said you were in bad shape, not us. We-”

“I still can’t believe she came here,” Buck said. “Was I really that bad?”

“Well,” Chimney started to say. “I mean…”

Eddie shoved Chimney’s shoulder. “You’re dealing with a lot, Buck. No one expects you to be anything but what you are. You didn’t move 800 plus miles to get away from it all, so you’re already handling it better than I did when I left the military.”

“You had family here,” Buck countered.

“So do you,” Bobby stated.

“On the team or not,” Hen stated. “You’re still stuck with us, especially Chimney, your sister likes him too much. And I’m sure we’ll still need a crowbar to separate you two on your days off.” She gestured at Buck and Eddie. “So I don’t see how that much has changed.” She grinned.

“Valid point,” Eddie stated. They turned when they heard someone clear their throat.

“Oh, right,” Bobby said. “Buck this is Nick VanHolden. VanHolden, meet Buck.”

“Nice to meet you,” VanHolden said, holding his hand out. Buck glanced at Eddie and Bobby. Eddie shrugged and Bobby nodded.

“You too,” Buck said as he shook the guy’s hand. You didn’t have to be a mind reader to know that Buck’s greeting was half-hearted.

“Nice to finally put a face with the name, left some big boots to fill,” VanHolden said. The team froze. VanHolden seemed to realize what he said and cringed. “I...sorry, just meant that you’re a big deal in the department. Every firehouse in the city talked about you for days. And these guys, don’t get me started.”

“We wish you hadn’t,” Eddie grumbled under his breath, earning a smack from Hen.

“I uh…” VanHolden went to continue but Buck stopped him.

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Buck shrugged. “I’m sure my shiny new leg with be in more comfortable shoes than you guys are stuck with. Not going to miss the 100° summer turnout gear, I’ll tell you that.” It was uneasily quiet for a minute until Buck chuckled. “Harsh crowd. Well, that one went over better with the assistant when I went to PT the other day, but I guess comedy isn’t for everybody.” Buck smirked.

“Why do we miss him again?” Chim said with a grin.

“Because his jokes are still better than yours,” Hen stated.

“Ouch,” Chim said. “Now that was low.”

Buck’s phone went off. “That’s Carla. I got to go, but was nice to meet you, Nick.”

“Yeah, you too,” VanHolden said, his tone still a bit awkward.

Eddie resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “I’ll walk you out.”

“Good seeing you up and about, Buck.” Bobby said as he patted Buck’s shoulder. “Athena says you’ll have to come over for dinner soon.”

“Well then, who am I to argue with that,” Buck nodded.

“Glad to hear, I’ll talk to her and get it set up,” Bobby agreed. “Take care of yourself, I mean it.”

“I know, I know,” Buck shook his head but grinned. “I’ll do my best.”

When they were finally out in the parking lot Eddie waved at Carla. Carla waved back.

“Sorry about VanHolden,” Eddie said. “That guy is just-”

“Not me?” Buck chuckled.

“Well, yeah,” Eddie said. “Didn’t think it was possible for anyone to stick their foot in their mouth more than you or Chim, but he finds a way. I mean, you heard him. He-”

“Isn’t as bad as you made it sound,” Buck admitted. “I mean you’re acting like me when you joined. Eddie, man,” Buck stopped his chair and made Eddie look at him. “Cut the guy some slack, we got along just fine once I quit being petty.”

“This isn’t like that,” Eddie argued.

“Why? Because it’s you?”

“Because it isn’t you,” Eddie repeated. “I miss having someone I really could trust to have my back. Even when you hated me, I still felt I could trust you to keep me alive. Your annoyance at my existence was funny and a bit adorable, not going to lie. I miss having my partner. I know it’s stupid and petty. I know it isn’t fair to tell you any of this, but I’m not going to lie either, you’ll get even madder about that. I just...I know this is infinitely harder for you than me, but I just...there isn’t a way to really replace you, Buck. There isn’t.”

“Okay, first off, wow, that was...a lot,” Buck said, but when Eddie seemed to start to pull away Buck grabbed his arm. “Not bad, but a lot. Just...give me a second.” Buck was quiet for a beat but kept ahold of Eddie’s wrist so he couldn’t run. “Second, somehow you putting a guy down was probably the nicest thing anyone has said when I wasn’t actively dying.”

Eddie wasn’t sure how to respond to that. So he remained silent.

“Moving on,” Buck said. “This does suck, and it may always suck.”

“Buck,” Eddie started to try and reassure him but was stopped when Buck squeezed at his wrist.

“There is no going back to the job, I know that and you know that. That guy’s on the team now. Don’t be a dick to the guy just because you miss me. That’s supposed to be my job, he’s my replacement.”

“Buck…”

“Yeah, yeah, no replacing. I’m not saying you have to be his best friend. But you do have to be able to trust the guy, and vice versa. You got to play nice, Eddie. I’d say the same thing to Christopher.”

“You seriously going to bring my kid into this?” Eddie shook his head. “That’s low.”

“Yeah well, had to stoop to your level after what I saw in there,” Buck stated.

“Okay fine, so I’ve probably not been the most welcoming,” Eddie finally admitted. “But he thinks he can really take your place that easy. It’s…”

“It’s supposed to be that easy,” Buck said. “People transfer in and out of other houses all the time.”

“Bobby says we’re a family,” Eddie stated.

“And that hasn’t changed,” Buck said, squeezing his wrist again. “You said so yourself, over and over the other day. Nothing changes that. But families get bigger, you know that, right? Like they are meant to. Took me a while to see it, but I did. Why do you think I’m here?”

“About that,” Eddie said, attempting to ignore the way his heart was pounding and the fact Buck still had ahold of his wrist. “Why are you here? I figured you’d be at home, you don’t have PT ‘til tomorrow.”

“Sweet of you to know my schedule,” Buck smirked. “I was bored staring at the same walls and daytime tv sucks. But don’t change the subject. Just give the guy a shot, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Fine,” Eddie grumbled.

“Also, did you just call me adorable and admit to stalking my schedule?” Buck said with a shit-eating grin.

“Of course, that’s the part you zero in on,” Eddie sighed and shook his head. “And it’s not stalking when you’re using me and my son’s caretaker to get to your PT. I kind of need to know this stuff.”

“Uh-huh, sure,” Buck tried not to laugh.

“You are insufferable,” Eddie stated.

“And yet you still miss me,” Buck told him.

“Every day,” Eddie admitted.

“That makes two of us,” Buck said, his tone a bit sheepish. “I miss being your partner too, by the way.”

“Screw it,” Eddie said before shifting their grips so Buck’s hand was in his. “You’ll always be my partner, one way or another.”

“Really?” Buck stared up at him.

“Really,” Eddie chuckled and leaned down so he was on Buck’s level. He captured Buck’s lips with his. He leaned his forehead against Buck’s when they broke for air. “Now, you going to stop trying to push me and Christopher away, right?” He grinned at the way he felt Buck’s nod. “Good.”

“Just don’t go doing that with the new guy, and we’ll be good,” Buck stated, earning a laugh from Eddie.

“Well, he’s no you,” Eddie said with a grin.

“Hey lovebirds.” They both looked up as Carla neared them. “As happy as I am to see you two finally get your moment, I’m going to need to end it. Unless you want your kid waiting at school by himself,” Carla said, grinning.

“Everyone’s always bringing the kid into it.” Eddie shook his head as he stood up.

“Well someone has to,” Carla stated.

“See you later,” Buck told Eddie.

“I’ll get a pizza on the way,” Eddie nodded.

“Works for me,” Buck grinned.

“Then it’s a date,” Eddie smirked. “Bye, Carla,” he called back as he headed back into the station. Sure he was going to get an earful from an eavesdropping team. He was sure they had watched the whole thing play out from the loft window and would have a million questions.

Buck looked up at a grinning Carla. “Don’t say it,” Buck said.

“I wasn’t going to, but you know Christopher will be over the moon when he finds out,” Carla stated as they headed back to the car.

Buck agreed and was finally starting to feel like his life was back on track. It wasn’t perfect, but he had good friends that were more of a family than he ever had before. He might have lost a leg, but he got so much more in return.

#Anonymous #prompt fill #by scarlet #buddie fic #fire fam fic #tw: nightmares #tw: anxiety #tw: depression #tw: hospitals #tw: injury #tw: infection #tw: bombings #tw: hostage situation #tw: swearing #tw: refusal to eat #tw: eating problems #tw: eating mention #tw: amputation #tw: gaslighting #tw: ghosting #tw: self deprecation #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 canon divergent au

[dragonydreams]

911 Fic: Even if you're miles away (I'm by your side) 1/1

Title: Even if you're miles away (I'm by your side) Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star, 9-1-1 Rating: Teen And Up Audience Pairings/Characters: Marjan Marwani, Eddie Diaz, Marjan Marwani & Paul Strickland, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz Summary: After her fight with Paul, Marjan needs someone to talk to. Timeline: S03E09 The Bird Word Count: ~1300 Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over these characters. I am merely borrowing them from Reamworks, Brad Falchuk Teley-Vision, Ryan Murphy Television, and 20th Century Fox Television. Betas: Thank you to shanachie for looking this over for me. Author's Note: This story has been poking at me since I saw the episode and finally demanded to be written. Author's Note 2: Title from "Anytime You Need a Friend" by Mariah Carey

Or read on AO3

Marjan growled in frustration as she threw herself down on her couch. She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her text conversations until she found the one she was looking for.

MM: How did you deal with your boy being so stubborn?

She didn't have to wait long for a response. Ever since the wildfire, she and Eddie Diaz had kept in touch. They texted every few weeks, regaling each other with stories of crazy rescues they'd each performed. And, sometimes, had more personal discussions when they needed someone outside of their teams to talk to.

ED: You're going to have to be more specific. He's always stubborn.

MM: You said he pushed himself too hard after his leg was crushed by the ladder truck.

Instead of seeing the three dots flashing to indicate that Eddie was responding, her phone began to ring. 

Marjan wiped her eyes and cleared her throat before answering. "Didn't expect that question to warrant a phone call."

"What happened?" Eddie asked, his voice laced with concern. "Who got hurt?"

"It wasn't anything like what happened with Buck," Marjan responded, evading.

"Then what did happen?" Eddie pressed.

Marjan blew out a breath. "Paul was having nightmares and his heart was beating way out of control so I made him go to the doctor."

"Was it a panic attack? I hate to admit it, but I've been there," Eddie said.

"I wish," Marjan said. "And I'm sorry to hear that."

"Thanks. Go on."

"The doctor said he has this rare condition, Brugada syndrome, and he needs a thing like a pacemaker."

"A defibrillator," Eddie supplied. "Shit. I'm guessing he's not taking it well?"

Marjan sniffled, blinking back tears. "He said he would rather die as a firefighter than live any other way."

Eddie huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, that sounds like Buck. After the ladder truck fell on him, he had multiple surgeries, some of which weren't really necessary, in his efforts to speed along his recovery. You've never seen anyone attack physical therapy the way he did. He was desperate to get back to work. He didn't know who he was if he wasn't a firefighter."

"Yep, that's Paul."

"Buck pushed himself so hard that he got blood clots and coughed up blood at his welcome back party. If there hadn't been so many paramedics there, he probably would have died. He almost wished he had when he was told he couldn't go back to work because of the blood thinners he was put on."

"So what did you do?"

"I dropped my son off with him to keep him distracted," Eddie said. "Christopher has C.P. and he's the happiest kid that I know. He also has Buck wrapped around his little finger."

Marjan laughed at that image. She'd seen pictures of Christopher on Eddie's Insta, he was a cute kid. "I don't think that's going to work for me."

"Didn't Judd just have a baby?" Eddie asked.

"Yes, but I don't think she's going to be able to do much to cheer up Paul," Marjan said. 

"How long has it been since he got the news?"

"A couple of hours," Marjan said. 

"He could just be in shock. It can take time to process news like this," Eddie said. 

"He seemed pretty sure that he would rather die than get the pacemaker." Tears began to fall. "He's my best friend. I can't lose him."

"You need to tell him that," Eddie insisted. "Give him tonight, then tomorrow go tell him how you feel."

Marjan wiped furiously at her tears. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I'll do that. I am not giving up on him without a fight."

"Let me know how it goes."

"I will," she promised. "And thanks."

"Anytime."

Marjan hung up the phone. She'd do as Eddie suggested. She'd give Paul tonight to wallow and tomorrow she would make him change his mind.

~~*~~

MM: When I got to his apartment he didn't answer and when I didn't hear anything coming from inside except music, I kicked the door in.

ED: You what!?!

MM: He was unconscious and not breathing. I called 9-1-1, started CPR, and he's in surgery now.

ED: Thank goodness you got there in time.

MM: I really hope he sees it that way.

ED: Of course he will. Is your team on their way?

MM: Yeah, they're coming.

ED: Keep talking to me until they get there. You shouldn't be alone.

MM: The nurse just said he's out of surgery. I'm going to wait in his room for him to wake up.

ED: I'm here if you need me.

~~*~~

Marjan sat in her car, tears streaming down her face. With shaking hands, she called Eddie.

"He hates me," she wailed before he could even say anything.

"I'm sure that's not true," Eddie countered.

"No, it's true. He yelled at me to get out after blaming me for them putting in the pacemaker that will keep him alive. As if the doctors would consult me about anything. I'm not his medical proxy."

"I'm sure–"

"Don't you dare say he's just in shock," she said, steel in her voice. "He thinks I betrayed his trust by calling 9-1-1 and saving his life."

"I know this isn't what you want to hear, but give him time. He's been through a lot in a short amount of time and he just needs to wrap his head around it all."

Marjan took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I really hope you're right."

"So do I," Eddie said. "Get some rest. Talk to your team. If Paul's not willing to listen to you, maybe he'll listen to one of them."

"Yeah, alright fine, I'll do that," she reluctantly agreed. "Thanks. Again. You're pretty good at calming people down."

"That's good, since I'll be done with my training at dispatch soon," Eddie said.

"Excuse me?" Marjan exclaimed. 

"Oh, uh, did I forget to tell you? I quit the 118 at Christmas because my son was afraid I was going to be dead by next Christmas," Eddie said, his voice full of fake cheerfulness. 

"Shit, Eddie," Marjan breathed. "He told you that?"

"He did. Almost gave me another panic attack, quite frankly. I talked to Bobby, my captain, and he understood that I needed to do something different so my kid wouldn't have to worry about me so much."

"But you're so good at what you do."

"Thanks for rubbing it in," Eddie teased. "And you're right. I love it, but I love my kid more. And I'll do anything to give him peace of mind."

"You're a good dad," she said. "How'd Buck take it? He seems a bit co-dependent."

"Yeah… he's kinda not speaking to me right now aside from arranging playdates with Christopher," Eddie admitted.

"I think you might need to take some of your own advice," Marjan said.

"How'd I know you were going to say that?" Eddie said with a sigh. 

"Because you are a smart man."

"Don't always feel like it, but thank you for saying so." 

Marjan heard Christopher in the background calling for his dad. 

"I've gotta go," Eddie apologized. "Keep me posted on what's going on with you and Paul."

"Just as long as you tell me what happens when you go talk to Buck," she countered.

"Deal," Eddie said and hung up.

Marjan took a deep breath, let it out, and started the car to head home to take a long bath before bed. She'd talk to the team tomorrow and see if they could intervene with Paul to help him understand that he can still have an active life with the pacemaker. 

She refused to lose her bestie because she saved his life. And he was just going to have to deal with that.

The End

#911 fic #911 lone star fic #911 #911 lone star #marjan marwani #eddie diaz #Fic: Even if you're miles away (I'm by your side)

[ropsus]

I’ve been thinking about episode names again recently (thanks May Day and Hero Complex) and finally thought I’d write a little about the topic, more specifically of how the names of the first episodes of a season seem to fit stuff that happens in the final episode of that season as well. I don’t know if someone has already talked about this before but here goes:

Season 1 doesn’t work quite as well here, because the first episode is simply called Pilot, but if we look at the first episode of the season which has a “proper” name then we have 1x02 Let Go, which is what I’ll be looking into here.

Now, in 1x10 we have a couple instances where the Let Go title could also work. The episode opens at Abby’s mom’s funeral, and we get to see the aftermath of her passing. In a sense, this episode is Abby “letting go” of her mom and the life she has in L.A. (sidenote: Abby’s mom died of a pulmonary embolism?? I never caught that before. Interesting. But I digress). Abby also let go of Buck to some degree at the end of the episode as she left (this is a little debatable as she may have thought she would come back eventually but I would argue that at least some part of her let Buck go at the airport).

Then later on we have Athena having to “let go” of May and Harry as they’re going to be spending time (and the night) at Michael’s new place. Then the episode ends with Athena going out with Bobby for the first time which could be seen as her letting go of the family unit that she had with Michael and the kids in order to build a family again but one that looks a little different than what she envisioned when marrying Michael.

So, in this way we have the start of the season bookending with the end of the season (I love it when shows/books/whatever do this, it’s always so delicious), which also seems to happen in the other seasons as well. (Can y’all guess where I’m going with this already?)

Moving on to season 2 and 2x01 which is called Under Pressure. Then in 2x18 we have the package bombs that have a lot of people “under pressure” to figure out who’s sending them and there’s also the threat of where will a bomb go off next. This of course leads to Buck’s leg being crushed under the pressure of the ladder truck.

Then there’s the Diaz parents of it all aka Ramon and Helena putting Eddie under pressure to go back to El Paso now that Shannon has passed and he’s a single parent again. (Sidenote again: Ramon saying “you could choose another one [life]” to our repressed king Eddie? yeah this hurts).

Then in season 3 we have 3x01 Kids Today. This is probably the flimsiest of these but, eh, whatever. Of course, in 3x18 we have the whole “is Christopher old enough to go to camp” discussion which has Bobby commenting that he started to go to camp when he was 8 and could read a little like “well if I could why not the kid today” (like I said, a little flimsy). Then at the end we have May’s graduation party and later we find out that Maddie’s pregnant. This could be a sort of a “one kid grows up, another is about to be born” sort of circle of life thing that includes some kids today (and tomorrow). I don’t know, this doesn’t fit quite as well as the other seasons but it’s sort of there with the focus on kids in both 3x01 and 3x18.

And finally, we have my beloved season 4 with 4x01 being called The New Abnormal. Now, 4x14 doesn’t exactly have a new abnormal in it because we don’t reach it quite yet in the episode, but it certainly puts some things into motion that bring change, namely Eddie telling Buck about the will and everything else surrounding the shooting. (One could argue that Buck knowing about the will does create a new abnormal and I think so too, I just think we see the effects of that better later on than in the episode itself.) Of course, we do have the “new abnormal” for a brief period of time when Buck stays at the Diaz house with Chris when Eddie’s in the hospital, but it doesn’t last very long so I’m not sure it counts. But the wheels for a new (ab)normal are definitely put into motions especially in regards to Buck, Eddie and Chris. Apart from the Buckley-Diazes, we also start to see the severity of Maddie’s post-partum depression in the episode as she quits her job which then leads her, Chimney and Jee into a new (ab)normal.

I think it’s really interesting how we’ve gotten these types of bookends every season in a show that loves its parallels. And I think the show is likely to continue with this (unless they want to break the pattern but I honestly don’t think it will).

So, what does this mean for season 5? I’d put good money on there being panic in some shape or form for one/some character(s) as 5x01 is called Panic if they continue with the bookends they’ve had going on pretty much the whole time. But what the panic looks like remains to be seen. Maybe we’ll get Bobby panicking over May and/or Harry on the heels of the dispatch fire? Eddie dealing with more panic attacks? Buck having a little gay panic? Something totally different? I honestly have no clue. But I think there will be something. And I can’t wait to see whatever it is.

#911 #911 on fox #911 spoilers #5b speculation #911 meta #i don't know man just something about the episode titles gets me #i do love me some good good names and name analysis #also i don't know how it's taken me this many rewatches to realise abby's mom died of a pulmonary embolism #there's something there about the abby and buck of it all i'm sure but i don't know what #but yeah here have this that may or may not be something #pave rambles

[firemedicdiaz]

Four Minutes - Epilogue

Fandom: 9-1-1. Pairing: Buddie. Word Count: 2212. Genre: angst. Rating: Teen+. Summary: Eddie has a choice to make after nearly losing Buck in the explosion.  Spoilers for 2x17 and 2x18. Warning(s): mentions of Buck’s injuries, minor medical details. Note: Back by popular demand, the thrilling conclusion to my first ever Buddie fic.  Beta’d by @starshiphufflebadger​.  AO3 link here.  Part 1 link here.

Four minutes was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

It had passed in the blink of an eye compared to what had followed, and as he sat beside Buck’s bed keeping silent vigil, Eddie was reminded of just how bad he was at waiting.  Perhaps more accurately, how bad he was at knowing when to stop waiting.  

He’d almost lost Buck earlier that night.  He’d watched the truck get thrown up into the air and consumed by flames, looked on as Buck was ejected from the cab only to be stopped before he could roll too far as the ladder pinned him at the ankle.  He’d heard the blast, Buck’s screaming, the exhausted whimpers of agony and the frighteningly quiet staccato of Buck’s tired heart as he’d assessed him afterward.  Eddie had tasted blood when his anxiety had threatened to overwhelm him and he’d bitten his cheek to stop the tears that stung his eyes.

Eddie had waited.  He’d waited for the rest of the team to arrive and accompany him into the hospital even though he’d wanted nothing more than to chase the trauma team through the sliding doors, to cling onto the stretcher and not let Buck out of his sight.  He’d waited for news from the OR, a cup of bitter, burnt coffee cooling in his hand as the ticking of the clock on the wall nearly drove him mad.  He’d waited, albeit feeling a little less wound up than he had before, after the surgeon had come to tell them Buck was going to pull through.  He’d waited as Buck woke up in recovery, alone, and was transferred to a private room for observation.  He’d waited as everyone else went in to see Buck, just for a moment, to wish him well until Buck was so tired out he fell into a deep sleep.

With everyone gone, Eddie made his way into Buck’s room.  The nurse that came by to check Buck’s vitals shortly after Eddie had settled into a chair next to Buck’s bed looked like she wanted to shoo him off, but for whatever reason she thought better of it and left him to his vigil.  He settled into the hard plastic chair next to the bed and knotted his fingers in his lap to quell the desperate urge to reach out and hold Buck’s hand.

As Buck slept, snoring softly, Eddie watched the saline in the IV bag over Buck’s bed drip slowly into the drip chamber, his mind far away.  He thought about the last time he’d waited on something and about how much it had cost him.  He’d waited for weeks to let Shannon back into Christopher’s life.  He’d pushed her away, compartmentalized his feelings, avoided the difficult conversations.  In the end, by the time he’d decided he was ready to face her, to face the future, she’d had enough of the waiting.  She’d moved on without him, or perhaps in spite of him.

And then she’d died right in front of him.

But it was different with Buck.  It was different, and it had the potential to wind up being far worse.  With Shannon, Eddie had gotten his feelings out, had left things in her hands, had tried, and while it hadn’t absolved him of all of the hurt he’d caused her in the past, it had given him some measure of closure.  With Buck, though, he hadn’t said a word.  He hadn’t even hinted that he had anything more than platonic feelings for him.  He’d never given himself the chance - given Buck the chance - to pursue anything.

And then Buck had nearly died right in front of him.

His PTSD reared its ugly head at the reminder; the thought that it was all happening again was a wake-up call that threatened to pitch him into a panic attack.  Eddie gritted his teeth, staring determinedly ahead, knowing that if he so much as blinked he would see Shannon’s lifeless body; of Buck’s body in her place.  He fought to keep his breathing steady, glancing up at the monitor screen over Buck’s bed to help himself focus.  It was hypnotizing watching the rhythmic dance of waveforms on Buck’s ECG as they appeared and disappeared again, and eventually Eddie felt himself settle a little bit.  

Buck was okay.  He had a long road to recovery ahead of him, but he was okay, and Eddie was determined to be there for him, to walk that path with him.  Eddie took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, turning his attention back to Buck.  Buck’s features were slack, his lips slightly parted as he slept off the anaesthetic.  He was breathing steadily and Eddie tried to breathe with him as a new and different but no less frightening set of emotions filled him.  

Eddie’s heart nearly stopped as Buck made a soft groaning noise.  He jumped to his feet, planting his hands on the railing beside Buck’s bed, waiting for him to wake up.  He wanted - needed - Buck to know he wasn’t alone.  Eddie hated how long he’d been forced to stand back before running in to help Buck back at the scene and he wasn’t going to let another moment go by with Buck feeling like there was no one there when he needed them.

Eddie waited tensely for a few moments, his gaze fixed on Buck, but nothing changed.  Buck was still asleep, clearly having made the noise unconsciously.  Eddie sagged, relieved that he could put off the conversation he needed to have for just a little bit longer.  He’d made up his mind, he was going to tell Buck, but it didn’t mean he was comfortable with the notion just yet.  He’d never been particularly good at being vulnerable, and opening himself up to anyone, even Buck, was terrifying.

After a few minutes passed without any change in Buck’s condition, Eddie sat back down, shifting the chair slightly so he was closer to the bed.  He leaned forward, resting his forehead against the cool metal of the bed rail, closing his eyes.  He was pleasantly surprised that instead of the horror show he was expecting to play out in his mind, there were some happy memories instead.  The first time he’d seen Buck laugh the day they’d pulled the live grenade charge out of a man’s leg.  It was the first time he’d seen Buck’s vulnerability, too.  Sure, he could feel it rolling off the guy in waves with how threatened he’d been by Eddie’s mere presence at first, but the look they’d exchanged just before Eddie had grasped the ordnance to remove it had spoken volumes.

“Eddie?”

Eddie’s head snapped up at the sound of his name on Buck’s lips.  He met the other man’s confused expression with a small smile, leaning in to help Buck focus through the morphine fog.

“Hey, welcome back,” Eddie said softly.  “How’re you feeling?”

“Fuzzy,” Buck replied, slurring slightly.

Eddie chuckled, reaching out before he could stop himself to fix the neckline of Buck’s gown where it had come undone and was sagging.  He thought it might’ve been his imagination, but he could have sworn Buck had relaxed back into the bed a fraction as Eddie’s fingers brushed his shoulder.  Emboldened by Buck’s apparent trust, Eddie reached for Buck’s hand, giving it a squeeze.  Buck smiled, his eyes drifting closed.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Buck murmured.

The words held so much meaning, but Eddie wasn’t ready to let himself hope that he was reading it correctly.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be more than here right now,” Eddie assured him.  “You scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry.”

Eddie shook his head, still floored by Buck’s selflessness even though it was already one of the things he loved most about the other man.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Eddie chided him gently.  “It wasn’t your fault.  I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Buck blinked a couple of times to clear his vision, glancing down at his splinted leg.  He wiggled his toes, wincing as it caused pain to flare in his ankle.

“Mostly okay, anyway,” Buck amended.

As Buck turned to meet Eddie’s gaze, Eddie felt an uncomfortable swell in his vulnerability.  He was looking for an excuse, any excuse, to look away when the IV pump next to the bed sounded an alarm, startling both of them.  Taking the chance to break eye contact, Eddie let go of Buck’s hand and stood, popping open the infusion chamber on the pump and carefully tapping at a single small air bubble that had been obscuring the sensor.  The pump fell silent again and Eddie closed the chamber back up, deciding to stay standing because it made him feel a little less claustrophobic.

Hazarding a glance down, Eddie found Buck watching him.  Buck’s expression was thoughtful, calculating but blunted by the lingering cobwebs of the anaesthesia and pain medication.  Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie saw Buck’s hand come up; a sign for him to take it again.  Eddie chewed his lip for a moment before relenting and taking a seat again, reaching out once more for Buck’s hand.

“Are you okay?”  Buck asked.

Eddie shook his head, smiling a little incredulously.

“You had a ladder truck dropped on  your ankle a few hours ago and you’re asking if I’m okay,” he reiterated.

Buck shrugged, squeezing Eddie’s hand, stroking a thumb over the back of it.

“I can tell something’s on your mind,” Buck explained lightly.  “My leg may be broken, but my empathy still works.  What’s going on?”

Eddie set his jaw, glancing away for a moment again to strengthen his resolve.  He wasn’t sure he could look at Buck when he said it.  He didn’t think he could bear being face to face if Buck didn’t return his feelings.  Reflecting back on everything that had happened that night, though, he borrowed strength from Buck’s show of courage, will, and resilience.

“This, all of it, scared me so badly because I didn’t know if you were going to make it, and that I wouldn’t get the chance to tell you,” Eddie said in a rush, his words nearly garbled by his haste to say them before his determination dried up.  He hadn’t planned on leading with an outright confession when he finally found the courage to admit his feelings, but he’d been too shaken by nearly losing Buck to wait a moment longer or pussyfoot around.  “I love you.”

For a moment, the only sound in the room was the suddenly faster chirping of Buck’s heart monitor.  Eddie frowned, concerned by the new onset of tachycardia, his mind combing through possible causes for it - pain, pulmonary embolism, anaphylactic reaction to one of his medications.  Buck squeezed his hand again, insistently, and Eddie forced himself to look Buck in the eye.

“You served multiple tours in an active war zone, you rappel down cliffs, you run into burning buildings when everyone else is running out,” Buck said, a quiet incredulity weighing on his words.  “But you were afraid to tell me you love me?”

Eddie’s entire world nearly crashed down at that moment as Buck’s glaringly obvious failure to return the sentiment hung in the air between them.  His own heart rate skyrocketed and a strong feeling of fight-or-flight gripped him.  Buck’s soft, wordless noise of disbelief did nothing to help his nerves.

“Eddie,” Buck said so softly that Eddie thought he might crack.  “I love you, too.”

Eddie couldn’t hear anything over the rush of his own heartbeat in  his ears for a moment as Buck’s words registered.  It took him several long seconds to process what just happened and when he did, he could barely believe it.  

“Yeah?”  He asked, his voice reedy, strained.

Buck chuckled, propping himself on an elbow in an attempt to get closer to Eddie.

“Yeah,” he assured him emphatically.  “Yeah.”

The tears came then and Eddie had not been expecting them.  Relief wasn’t something he was used to crying over, but he hadn’t realized until that moment the enormity of the weight that had been on his shoulders as he’d carried those words unsaid around with him.  He laughed softly, almost slightly hysterically, and let out a long, shaky breath.

“Come here,” Buck said gently, patting the bed beside him.

Eddie didn’t need to be asked twice.  He stood, letting go of Buck’s hand just long enough to drop the bed rail before perching himself on the edge of the mattress.  Buck’s palm landed on his thigh, its weight warm and grounding, and Eddie covered it with a hand of his own.  They sat in a companionable silence for a while, Buck’s eyes fluttering closed as the exhaustion from the day’s events caught up with him and Eddie watching him closely, memorizing his face, the moment, replacing the fear and anxiety from earlier with something decidedly better.  

“Glad we had this talk,” Buck said thickly a while later, his head lolling as the morphine reared its head again.  

Eddie chuckled, reaching out to tuck Buck’s blankets in around him to keep him comfortable while he slept.  He reached up, brushing a loose curl away from Buck’s forehead, trailing his fingertips down Buck’s cheek, cupping his face gently.

“Me too.”

#9-1-1 Fox #9-1-1 fanfiction #Buddie #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz

[stellarstacey]

New Years

Buck was laying down in the grass of Bobby and Athena's backyard. He couldn't really see the stars since it was LA but he could make out the full moon. The New Year's party inside the house was loud yet distant.

"What in the world are you doing?" Eddie asked as he showed up in Buck's peripheral vision.

"Contemplating the meaning of human existence." Buck smirked and Eddie snorted.

"Don't hurt yourself." Eddie teased as he laid down next to Buck.

Buck raised an eyebrow at him. Eddie barely ever did anything impulsive like laying in the grass to watch the moon. Well, he did buy a truck out of the blue but that was during his 'phase'.

"So, what did you come up with?" Eddie turned his head to look at Buck.

"What?" Buck asked as he played with the grass between them.

"The meaning of human existence. Got an answer yet?" Eddie teased and Buck smiled.

"I think we exist just to prove that we can." Buck shrugged and Eddie frowned.

"That's it? Mister 'I think a ghost called 911' doesn't believe in cosmic destiny?" Eddie asked and Buck blinked at him.

"Cosmic destiny? Maybe I did once upon a time but after everything that has happened this year with the ladder truck, the tsunami and the lawsuit...Kinda feels like destiny wants me to suffer so I'd rather just call bullshit on the whole destiny thing." Buck muttered and Eddie's frown deepened.

"Did I ever tell you why I chose the 118 and not the 6?" Eddie asked and Buck turned on his side.

"I thought it was because Bobby convinced you?" Buck blinked and Eddie blushed.

"That played a small factor. But I joined the 118 because of you." Eddie was bright red and Buck's eyes widened.

"What?" Buck asked truly confused.

"I was driving home from my last day of certification and ended up stuck in traffic because of a bad pile up. You guys were there." Eddie stated and Buck's breath caught in his throat.

Eddie had never once metioned this.

"I watched you guys do your thing. Part of me wanted to help but I stayed in my car and watched. You had just helped a little girl out of a the backseat of a SUV. She must have been 3 or 4 years old. She was wailing and screaming. I had my windows up but I could still hear her wails. Most people would have passed her off to her parents right away but you held her and started making these funny faces at her. It took you all of a minute to calm her down. You kept her on your hip as you helped other victims sit down. You did your job with a 4 year old in your arms and you didn't even seem phased by it. I remember watching you and thinking 'damn that's a good guy.' That's the kinda guy I want to work with. So I memorized your truck number." Eddie shrugged his cheeks red.

"Alice." Buck smiled and Eddie raised a confused eyebrow.

"The little girl, her name was Alice Rose. I remember thinking it was pretty name." Buck murmured and Eddie stared at him.

"You're really something special, Evan Buckley." Eddie whispered and Buck bit his lip.

"You know, when I first saw you at the station. I was jealous." Buck muttered and Eddie laughed.

"Because of my silver star." Eddie guessed and Buck rolled his eyes.

"No. Because you were the embodiment of human perfection." Buck muttered and Eddie stared at him.

"What do you mean?" Eddie asked slightly breathless.

"I kinda had a moment of gay panic. I'd never been attracted to a man before and then I see you. I see this buff dude with great hair, an amazing smile and these beautiful soulful brown eyes and bam! Next thing I know, I'm having an identity crisis at 27. It threw me for a loop." Buck whispered and Eddie froze.

"You were attracted to me?" Eddie asked in awe.

Buck bit his lip. "Are not were." Buck blushed and Eddie swallowed.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Eddie shuffled closer.

"I'm telling you now aren't I?" Buck smirked as he leaned closer to Eddie.

"Are you? Kinda need to hear it, Buck." Eddie smirked and Buck rolled his eyes at him.

"I'm attracted to you." Buck muttered with slight annoyance and Eddie smiled.

"Is that it? Only into my good looks?" Eddie mused as he brought a hand to trail up and down Buck's arm softly.

Buck resisted a shiver.

"Christopher is an added plus." Buck shrugged and Eddie chuckled as he rubbed small circles into the crook of Buck's arm.

"You're not horrible to look at either, Buckley." Eddie smiled and Buck scoffed.

"I'm also awesome." Buck muttered and Eddie laughed.

"Yeah, you're pretty awesome." Eddie whispered lowly.

Buck blushed as he looked down at Eddie's hand on his arm.

"It's almost midnight." Buck muttered and Eddie bit his lip.

"Yeah." Eddie breathed and Buck licked his lips.

Eddie groaned as he stared at Buck's lips.

"Play fair." Eddie shifted even closer.

"Something wrong, Diaz." Buck licked his lips again.

"You know I hate it when you call me that." Eddie stared at him with hooded eyes.

"Lighten up, Eds." Buck ran a finger over Eddie's jawline.

Eddie closed his eyes.

"About that gay panic, where are we on t-th-that?" Eddie asked but stuttered as Buck traced Eddie's lower lips with his thumb.

"Over it." Buck murmured and Eddie could feel Buck's breath of his lips.

"Good to know." Eddie whispered before opening his eyes to the most wonderful shade of blue.

"Are we doing this?" Buck asked as the count down could be heard from the inside.

Eddie nodded slowly. "I think we are."

7.6.5

"I might lose control." Buck whispered eyes dilated.

4.3.2

"Good." Eddie growled.

1.

Eddie grabbed Buck by the lapels of his coat and slammed their lips together. Buck didn't waste anytime slipping his tongue into Eddie's mouth. Eddie moaned as Buck licked into his mouth like a dying man starving for his last breath. Like everything else in their relationship it became a fun competition. A battle of tongues, that Eddie was happy to lose. When oxygen became a issue they pulled apart both panting heavily.

"That was cosmic." Buck smiled and Eddie leaned his forehead against Buck's.

"Happy New Years, Evan." Eddie smiled and Buck snorted.

"You're lucky I like the way you say Evan." Buck mumbled before kissing Eddie's nose and leaning back down to watch the moon.

#buddie

[cupidmarwani-archive]

Evan Buckley vs The Pool (1/2)

Summary: After the tsunami, Buck isn’t exactly friends with the water.

WC: 1.6k

It’s another blistering day in Los Angeles, and by some miracle, everyone has the day off. However, instead of spending the day alone, the 118 has once again dedicated hours to be together in the form of “the best pool party in LA,” according to Harry when he helped Bobby carry in the pizza. Athena’s backyard pool is more than accommodating to the three children splashing around in the shallows- four if you count Eddie- and the adults drifting in the deeper end, as well as those who are too busy snacking and drinking beer to get in the water. It’s a cheerful sight, one they’ve all earned after the drama of the past year or so.

“Bucky, look!”

Bobby watches the smile break across Buck’s face when Christopher calls for him. He’s gone for that kid, has been since the first day Eddie brought him into the station. “I’m looking!” he yells back, snapping pictures on his phone as he plays marco polo with the other kids. It’s always around Christopher and Eddie that he seems the happiest. He’d be happier in the water, Bobby thinks for a moment, before remembering exactly what he’s been through. Buck was on the pier when the tsunami hit, was jerked around in the waves multiple times as he struggled to protect Christopher and save bystanders. Then he was wandering around in various heights of water for who knows how long, searching for Chris. If he doesn’t feel safe going back into the water, Bobby won’t push him. He’ll talk to him about it on the next shift though. In this city, a firefighter needs to be able to go into the water. 

For now, though, it’s a good day, and Bobby doesn’t mention the fact that Buck stays in his chair in the shade, drinking beer and taking pictures of Eddie and Christopher. Hen and Chimney are playfully teasing him from the pool and occasionally splashing him, but it’s all in good fun, so he doesn’t feel like he has to intervene. This team is like a family. 

“Something on your mind?” Athena asks, nudging him with her elbow. “You’ve been staring at Buck for a minute.”

It’s not his place to talk about Buck’s potential trauma, but Athena knows everything he does anyway. “I’m just worried about him. He won’t get in the water. I mean, it hasn’t been an issue on any calls yet, but…” he doesn’t have to finish the sentence. They both know what he means. “I just don’t think he’s really processed any of it. I mean, he’s learned a lot about natural disasters, I guess to try and reassure himself, but that’s not the same as healing.”

“I can talk to him about it.”

“No, I will. Just not today.”

She nods. Neither of them want to disrupt the good day everyone is having. Bobby leans down to kiss her cheek before going over to the grill to check on the roast. Sure, they’ve had their pizza, but that was for lunch, and it’s starting to near evening, and he’d never send his team home without at least one proper meal. It’s one of the reasons Buck, Hen and Eddie affectionately refer to him as Captain Dad, which he doesn’t mind all that much. Maybe he was born to be a caretaker. It’s certainly the only way he’s ever felt at peace in his life. Providing for his wife and kids, before he lost them, and being a firefighter, and now looking after this gigantic family he stumbled into. There’s just something good about being able to show his love for them in a way as concrete as cooking. He smiles at the grill when he hears the incoming disaster.

Hen and Chimney are getting out of the pool, laughing in low tones. Buck announces he’s getting up for another beer and asks if anyone else wants some. Somehow, Bobby knows something bad is about to happen and he turns around, but he’s not fast enough. None of them are. And he knows that the two of them don’t mean any real harm because it’s something they’d done before the tsunami. Bobby’s four children (and yes, the firefighters are kind of his children sometimes) would push each other into the pool at these parties. The difference is that Buck is now afraid of the water, and Hen and Chimney don’t know that. Out of the corner of his eye, Bobby sees Eddie watching in horror as well from where he’s reaching for a towel for Christopher. There’s nothing they can do to stop it. It all happens so fast.

First, Hen grabs Buck under his arms and lifts, and then Chimney has his legs. In less than five seconds, they’re throwing him the few inches to the pool, and then Buck is in the air. There’s a moment of pure terror on his face before his back hits the water. Then he’s in. Hen and Chimney are laughing, but Eddie and Bobby are both looking at the dark blur in the water where Buck went in.

He doesn’t resurface after a few seconds, even though his body is clearly moving under the water, and the laughter stops. Buck isn’t coming back up. Bobby takes a step forward, about to go in after him, but Eddie is faster, jumping back into the water and grabbing Buck from the deep end. For the brief moment he’s under there, trying to get a hold of his flailing limbs, Bobby wonders if Buck is scared enough to inhale. He can picture it. Just like when Buck collapsed in this backyard before, panicking as he coughed up blood all over himself when he was supposed to be better. 

Then Eddie’s head breaks the water, followed by Buck’s, and he takes them both to the edge so Hen and Chimney can help haul him back out of there. Even back on the concrete, Buck is struggling and despite two yards or so between them, Bobby can hear him gasping for breath and sobbing. He’s not just scared. He’s terrified. Eddie drags himself out of the pool and kneels beside Buck, taking his hand and helping him sit up. 

“Buck, listen to me. I need you to take a deep breath, okay? You’re alright. You’re safe.”

He seems caught between trying to calm Buck down and check him over to make sure he’s not hurt, so Bobby comes over and sits at his other side. Carefully, he presses his fingers to the side of Buck’s neck to feel his pulse. It’s rapid, but in rhythm. It’ll be hard to check his breathing before he calms down, but the lack of coughing or signs of deoxygenating are good signs that he didn’t inhale anything. Physically, he’s just wet. But emotionally is a different story.

One of Buck’s soaked hands grabs Bobby’s shirt as he meets his eyes. The kid looks so scared. More than he’s ever seen him, even when he was pinned under that ladder truck and had no idea why no one was helping him. It’s the sort of look that sends ice through Bobby’s own veins because he doesn’t know how to make all the pain and fear go away.

“Christopher,” Buck gasps out. “I need to- I lost him- I-”

Eddie calls Christopher over, letting him near the chaos and into Buck’s arms. “It’s okay, baby, he’s right here. He’s safe. You’re safe. You’re both safe, I promise.”

Buck wraps his arms around Christopher and buries his face in the child’s wet curls, trying to control his crying in front of him. He’s a natural father, Bobby has always thought, and it shows now in how he’s so visibly distressed and yet focuses first on the comfort of Christopher. In some ways, he is a father. He and Eddie are practically raising Chris together, anyway, and it’s heartbreaking to remember the pure panic and pain on Buck’s face when he had to say he didn’t know where Christopher was. 

Unfortunately for all of them, Christopher has always picked up easily on unsaid cues. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, honey, I’m fine,” Buck says, still with his lips to the crown of Christopher’s head. His voice is shaking almost as bad as his body, but he says it nonetheless. “Just got a little scared, that’s all.”

Karen hands Bobby a towel, which he wraps around Buck’s shoulders, and Christopher by extension. The party is all but over, and when he Bobby looks up, he sees the shock and guilt on Hen and Chimney’s faces. They didn’t mean for this to happen. But they should have thought first, and he’ll talk to them later. For now, it’s more important that Buck is okay.

Always one step ahead when it comes to Buck, Eddie leans in close to him and murmurs, “Do we need to worry about your lungs?”

“I- I don’t know.”

None of them have their kits with them, so it means Buck will probably get a trip to the ER to be sure he won’t dry-drown later on in the night. For now, he seems unwilling to move from his safe spot beside the pool, clinging to Christopher and remembering how to breathe again. Bobby leaves him in Eddie’s capable hands and stands up, looking at Hen and Chimney, 

“I want to speak to you both inside.”

Hen’s face crumples. “Bobby, we didn’t-”

“Inside.”

They both shuffle toward the sliding glass door. Bobby follows after them, but not without one last look over his shoulder at the three boys sitting beside his pool. As Buck starts rocking himself and Christopher back and forth slightly, Eddie nods at Bobby. He’s got it taken care of. They’re safe with him.

#evan buckley #bobby nash #eddie diaz #buddie #mine #fic

[evanbuckley-heartofgold]

I totally get it no worries! What about Bobby getting hurt in the bomber episode? (Saw you sharing the gif set haha)

Sorry this took me so long, but I really wanted to get this right! I had so much fun writing this and I hope you enjoy it!

Bobby feels like he’s in a nightmare. 

The second he realizes the bomb would be in the firehouse, he began to imagine all of the ways that this could end. He hadn’t thought of this one. 

Buck is laying in the street battered and bloody with an entire ladder truck on top of his leg. Other firefighters were thrown from the truck and are laying on the pavement. Freddie stands in the middle of it all, bomb strapped to his chest. Bobby watches as Chimney steps forward as Freddie asks for the captain, his arms raised above his head.

He knows before Freddie says it that Chimney isn’t the captain he’s looking for. He has to do what he needs to do to protect his family. 

“I love you,” Bobby whispers into Athena’s ear as he pushes past the police forming a barricade and into the intersection, ignoring their calls after him. This is his responsibility, now he has to pay up and keep Buck and the rest of his crew safe.

“Freddie,” Bobby calls, getting the boy’s attention.

He turns around and faces Bobby, a manic crazy in his eyes. “Thought you’d be on the truck.” 

“I’m here now.” Bobby cast a glance down at Buck, he’s looking worse and worse by the second. “What’s next? Is this what you wanted?

“I wanted you dead.”

“I get that, but what about them.” Bobby forces himself to focus, it doesn’t matter what happens to him, he’s got to protect his firefighters. “What about him?” Bobby nods at Buck who looks up at him in pain. “He’s got parents, a sister, a girlfriend and he never did anything to you. He wasn’t even a firefighter when your father burned down that restaurant.”

“Collateral damage.” Freddie doesn’t even look at Buck. 

“Is that how you see yourself?” Bobby takes a step forward. “An unintended victim in all this?” Another step.

“Stop!” Freddie tightens his grip on the trigger. Bobby freezes, eyes flashing to the bomb. “One more step, we all go boom.”

“Freddie, you got dealt a bad hand and I am sorry about that,” Bobby treads carefully now. The bomb is going to go off, he just needs to get it far enough away from Buck. “But what you did with it, that’s a choice. You stopped being a victim the moment you left that first bomb.”

“That lawyer she-”

“Did her job,” Bobby cuts in. “We were all doing our jobs.”

“Destroying my family,” Freddie spits. “My mom and I lost everything. She was in so much pain.”

“Wanna make it worse? You wanna make her watch you die?” Bobby sees Athena and another police officer leading Freddie’s mother into the intersection. Athena makes worried eye contact with him, but he shakes his head minutely and quickly mouths, I’m sorry.

“Mom...” 

While Freddie is distracted, Bobby grabs him from behind, trying to wrestle the trigger out of his hand. “No!” Freddie struggles with him and Bobby can feel his finger inching closer and closer to the button. 

He’s not getting out of this alive, not if it’s a choice between him and his firefighters. He holds on tight to Freddie as he uses all of his strength to propel them away from the truck. He swings a leg into Freddie’s knee, making him collapse onto the ground with Bobby still holding onto him. He hears Athena and Chimney and Buck and everyone shout as Freddie presses the trigger and the world goes black.

...

Chimney watches in horror as the bomb explodes, engulfing Freddie and Bobby. He watches his captain thrown a few feet into the air, landing on the ground with a sickening smack. Buck screams hoarsely. 

Then he’s running. He sprints towards them, Eddie and Hen on his heels. 

“Chim, you get Buck, Eddie and I’ll check on Bobby,” Hen tells him. 

He nods quickly and veers right. Buck looks up as he comes closer and it looks a lot worse up close. Chimney shakes off that thought and kneels down next to Buck. His friend groans in pain. Blood covers the left side of Buck’s face, seeming to come from somewhere on his head, but tears carved their way through it and form a puddle on the ground. 

“Bobby...” Buck breathes, clearly struggling through his pain to make words. 

“Hen and Eddie are looking after him,” Chimney tells him. “I need you to focus, okay? How are you feeling?”

“Kinda numb,” Buck tells him. He can see that Buck isn’t looking at him, but instead past him to where Hen and Eddie are. He carefully positions himself so Buck can’t see them anymore. 

Chim reaches down and feels his pulse. It’s fast and his breathing seems to be shallow. “Just hang in there, Buckaroo.” He spares a quick glance at Eddie and Hen and the other paramedics on the scene attending to Bobby and Freddie. “I need hands over here!” He shouts. Two paramedics and firefighters rush over. “Probable crush injury,” he tells them quickly. “We need to get this truck off of him. He presses on his radio, “This is Captain 118, I need all available hands to move this truck and clear a path to the nearest trauma center.”

No response. 

They’re running out of time. 

Bobby and Buck are dying in the street. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Hen running with a stretcher, Bobby on top of it. That gives him a little hope, Bobby’s not gone yet. He catches a flash of white and sees Eddie pulling a white sheet over Freddie’s body. 

“Eddie!” He shouts. “I need help over here.” 

He looks up and immediately runs over to Chim, eyes intense. “What can I do?” 

“I need you to help lift the truck so I can pull him out.” Eddie nods and quickly grabs on to the truck. 

Chimney crouches down beside Buck again. “Bobby?” Buck asks. 

“He’s on his way to the hospital. I need you to hold still, try not to move.” He looks up at Eddie and nods. 

“Lift on three!” Eddie shouts. “One, two, three!” 

The firefighters and paramedics use all their strength to push the truck up. Buck screams in agony, tears streaming down his face. But they’re not strong enough the truck slams back down the few inches it had been lifted, making Buck cry out again. 

“We need more people,” Eddie tells him hopelessly. “There’s no way we can lift this alone.”  

Chimney nods, “Dispatch, this is Captain 118, we-” 

Before he can finish, the bystanders push past the police barricades and run to them. Chimney has never been a praying man, but as everyone puts a hand on the truck and Eddie counts down, he prays that this will work and that this will free his friend. 

This night has been hard enough for them all. 

Edie tightens his grip on Buck’s arms. Buck cries, biting his lip, as the truck is slowly lifted off his foot. Every second Chimney has to wait pains him, but finally, there is enough space for Chimney to drag Buck out from the truck. The truck crashes to the ground and Eddie helps Chimney get Buck onto a stretcher and rushed into the ambulance. 

The last thing Chimney sees before the doors slam shut is blood on the pavements reflecting the flashing lights. 

…

Buck wakes up slowly. He feels floaty, almost like he’s not completely solid. Everything around him is warm and soft. He hears the murmur of voices, but can’t understand any words. Then he feels a soft kiss on his forehead and he sinks right back into sleep. 

When Buck wakes up again he feels more grounded. He digs his fingers into the stiff sheets underneath him and exhales as he forces his eyes open. Blinking a few times to adjust to the brightness, Buck sees someone standing above him. She has tears in her eyes as she smiles down at him. 

“Maddie?” He breathes out. “How long have I been out?” 

“A few days.” 

Buck looks down at himself and finds his left leg in a thick white cast. “The ladder truck?” Buck asks. She nods and a second later he’s holding his crying sister in his arms. His thoughts immediately go to Bobby. The bomb exploded and Bobby was right next to it. Maddie’s crying that must mean… 

Maddie sits up and wipes her tears away with her thumb, “I’m sorry. You’re the one in the hospital bed, I shouldn’t be such a mess.” 

Buck shakes his head and takes a deep breath, “Is Bobby…”

“No, oh my gosh I should have said that first. He’s stable.” Buck exhales a dramatic sigh of relief. “The doctors think he has a good chance of making a full recovery. He’s not awake yet, but they’re hopeful.” 

“How?” Buck asks. “He-He was right next to the bomb.” 

“Call it a miracle,” Maddie smiles. 

“Can I see him?” Buck asks.

“I’ll go ask the doctor,” she pats his hand. “And I need to call Chim, they all got called into work so I’ll let them know that you’re okay.” 

“Thank you,” Buck says as Maddie gets up. She smiles down at him and then kisses his forehead, just like she used to do when he was little. 

Fifteen minutes later, Maddie comes back with a nurse and a wheelchair. The nurse helps Buck out of bed and then starts pushing him towards Bobby’s room. 

Once he’s inside, Buck feels like he can’t breathe. Bobby is laying on the bed, thick gauze covering what Buck can see of his chest as well as some of his forehead. His arms are burned and red, but his chest is rising and falling evenly. That’s what Buck forces himself to focus on. 

And in the chair beside the bed is Athena she looks up at him when the door opens and gives him a sad smile, “You’re a sight for sore eyes, Buckaroo.” 

“Hi,” Buck says. “Um, can I sit with you?”

“Of course, honey,” Athena shifts her chair to give Buck room for the wheelchair to fit. “I think he’ll be glad to know you’re okay.” Buck leans his head on her shoulder and she takes his hand.  “I hope you know that once you’re both out of the hospital, neither of you are leaving my sight until you’re better again,” Athena tells him. 

Buck smiles, “You might have to fight Maddie on that one.” 

“She’ll give in,” Athena says. Buck takes a deep breath as Athena rubs her thumb over his knuckles. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m okay.” He looks down at his leg, “It doesn’t hurt so much.” 

“I’m glad to hear that.” 

Buck sits with Athena for as long as the doctors let him. Eventually, he has to go back to his own room and get looked over again.

Come the next morning, he’s back in Bobby’s room. This time Athena isn’t there, probably because she has to get her kids to school. Buck sits quietly at Bobby’s side, lost in his thoughts. He is pulled out of them by a groan. Bobby shifts on the mattress, his eyes still closed. 

He makes a soft humming sound and then Bobby’s eyes slowly open and he looks right at Buck. “Evan?” Bobby’s voice is dry and scratchy. Buck nods, pretending not to notice Bobby calling him by his given name. “You’re okay?” 

“Yeah,” Buck smiles. “I’m okay. Not as bad as you. I’m not trying to be mean, but you look like shit, Bobby.” 

Bobby rolls his eyes, “Not even a minute after I wake up and you’re already ribbing me?” 

Buck shrugs, “It’s what I do best.” Bobby laughs gently and the two fall into silence for a moment. But something is weighing on Buck’s mind. “Why did you stay? Why didn’t you run as soon as he pushed the trigger?” 

Bobby smiles and reaches out to touch Buck’s hand, “I had to get him away from you. You didn’t deserve to get any more hurt because of my mistakes. If I hadn’t then you would have been in the blast radius. I did what I knew would keep you safe.” 

Buck bites his lip, “You have Athena and May and Harry, you-you could have died trying to protect me, you almost did.” 

“It would have been worth it,” Bobby squeezes Buck’s hand. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I failed another one of my kids. You’re really important to me, Buck. What kind of parent would I be if I stood by and watched you get hurt because of me?” 

His kid. Buck can’t deny that it doesn’t make his heart soar to hear that. He’s never really been anyone’s kid, his parents didn’t love him and he never had anyone who loved him that way until he met Bobby. Buck can’t stop himself from leaning forward and embracing Bobby as much as he can, crying into his neck. 

“Bobby… I...” Buck can’t get all the words he wants to say out, they’re stuck in his throat.

“I know, kid,” Bobby runs a hand over the back of his head. “We’re okay.” Bobby lets Buck stay like that for a few minutes before Buck sits up and quickly dries his tears with the back of his hand. Bobby smiles at him, “I feel like we’re going to be spending a lot of time together for the foreseeable future, so why don’t we just save the rest of the emotional talks for later, and right now just be happy that we’re both alive to tell the tale.”

Buck smiles through his tears, “Sounds good to me.”

#my fic #evan buckley #bobby nash #howard han #howie han #maddie buckley #henrietta wilson #eddie diaz #tw hospital #tw bombing #911 #911 fic #911 on fox

[mychemicalrachel]

Right Now

This is a follow-up to my fic Right Here but can be read as a standalone!

When Eddie had asked Buck to be Christopher’s godfather, he said it was a precaution, just a way of knowing that Chris would be taken care of if anything happened. It was supposed to be a safety net. A contingency plan. It was never supposed to be real.

Part One; The Hospital Word Count: 2140 Read on Ao3

After the ladder truck incident, Buck thought he could say with a great amount of certainty that he knew pain. His leg had been crushed-- it was touch and go for a while whether he would even keep it-- and the pain of not just that moment, lying helpless under the truck, but the many moments that followed were more than just physically painful. They were terrifying. More terror than he had ever known.

And then he’d lost Christopher in the tsunami and Buck understood a different kind of pain, watching his best friend think, however briefly, that his son had been swept away with the waves. Gone forever.

Still, nothing in his life ever prepared him for the sight of Eddie lying unconscious in a hospital bed. 

He was breathing with the help of a cold machine, a tube disappearing down his throat. It was only until he could breathe by himself, Hen had carefully reminded Buck.

If he ever woke up, that is.

Buck decidedly did not cry. His eyes brimmed red and watery, but he couldn’t allow the tears to start, in fear that they might never stop. He stands against the wall, arms hugged tightly to his chest, and watches as Athena swoops in, stoic as ever, to get a succinct report from the doctors; they’d been adamant up until that point that nothing could be disclosed unless they were family. Though he had faced Athena’s wrath many times and knew the effect it had, the fact that she was still in her police uniform probably added to the doctor’s hesitation to follow standard protocol.

“You see these people?” Athena asks, waving a finger in the direction of Buck and Bobby. “They are his family. You want blood relation? His next of kin is a nine-year-old boy. Should I bring him in, let you explain to him that his dad is in a coma?”

Buck closes his eyes. He cant cry. He can’t cry. He can’t--

“Buck?”

He opens his eyes to find Bobby in front of him. His face is blurry behind a cloud of tears.

Dammit. So much for not crying.

“Come on,” Bobby says. It’s his Captain Nash voice; the one he usually reserves for field missions and when someone is in trouble. The one that left no room for argument. And Buck is certainly in no position to argue.

Bobby leads him out of the room-- for a moment he fears he’s being taken back to the waiting room, but he’s not sure he could stand the idea of having this breakdown in a room full of strangers. Thankfully, Bobby finds a line of chairs near the vacant nurse’s station and sits Buck down. He keeps a hand tight on Buck’s wrist, like if he let’s go Buck will run.

Run back into Eddie’s room.

Run through the front doors and far, far away from all of this.

“Buck, you gotta calm down.”

Nothing about this was calm. If there was one perfect time in his life to have a full blown meltdown, he’s pretty certain this is it.

“Eddie’s going to be okay, Buck.”

A sob catches in his throat and he bitterly chokes it down. “You don’t know that.”

“He’s a fighter,” Bobby says and the grip on his arm tightens just a bit. “Look, he’s been in trouble before--”

“Not like this,” Buck interjects.

“--and he always makes it through.”

“Bobby.” Buck sits up, turning to face the older man. The man he’d always looked up to, trusted, believed. Now, he sees the uncertainty in Bobby’s eyes. The fact that he’s not even sure he believes what he’s saying.

Still, there’s a sense of resolve when he says, “Athena will get all of the information from the doctors.” This, at least, they both know is true.

“And then?” Buck asks. The tears he had sworn to withhold are running free down his cheeks. He doesn’t even attempt to stop them, just wipes at them with the sleeve of his shirt. It still smells like fire and a fresh wave of grief and guilt floods him. “Bobby, what if--”

“No,” Bobby says. “Buck, do not go there, okay? Eddie is going to wake up.”

And what if he doesn’t?

Buck can’t form he words, but the mere thought of them has him sinking back into the chair. He wants nothing more than to rush back in to Eddie’s side, and yet something holds him in place. A terror beyond anything he’s ever felt-- the fear of what if.

What if Eddie doesn’t wake up?

What if he’s dying?

What if he’s already dead?

Athena approaches them with caution a few minutes later and Buck immediately stands, prepared for the worst, though she’s smart enough to start with, “Everything is fine.”

A thousand questions pop into Buck’s head and he reaches out, grasping for which one to ask first. He wants to know just how badly Eddie’s hurt, when they expect him to wake up… and yet, the first words out of his mouth are, “Can I see him again?”

Athena sighs, glancing at Bobby, then she nods.

Back in Eddie’s room, Buck forgoes a chair in favor of hovering near the head of the bed. The machines beep too loud in his ears, but he finds comfort in the sound. It means that Eddie is alive.

He reaches out for Eddie’s hand, pressing their palms together. He squeezes and is foolish enough to expect some sort of gesture in return.

“He was right behind me,” Buck says. His grip on Eddie’s hand tightens. “You asshole.” He swipes aggressively at the tears that assault his vision. “You were right behind me.”

A hand settles on his shoulder and Buck looks up to see Athena watching him. Her usually commanding demeanor is slipping, leaving him with a glimpse of the woman he so rarely sees when she’s in uniform; not a cop, but a friend. A concerned person with a heart that hurts, and whether it aches for him or for Eddie he’s unsure.

“What happened?” she asks.

Buck laughs. The sound is wet and sad. “It was a fire in an apartment,” he explains. “Everyone else had already cleared out, but we had to be thorough. We were checking the last room when we got the evac order. And he was right behind me. There was a beam-- I didn’t see it coming down until it was too late.”

“Buck,” Athena says in a motherly voice. “You know that what happened wasn’t your fault.”

He bites down too hard on his lip. “I could have saved him,” Buck argues. “I could have-- I don’t know. I could have pushed him out of the way, or warned him, or--”

“You did save him,” Bobby interrupts. “Buck, you carried him out of there. You got him to the ambulance. You saved his life.”

Buck looks down at Eddie. His chest rises and falls in time with the machine. It doesn’t feel like he saved anything.

“They’ll take him off the ventilator soon,” Athena informs them. She keeps her eyes trained on Buck. “Right now, the biggest concern is his head. They’re not sure yet the extent of the injury, but his brain was swollen and he wasn’t getting enough oxygen.”

“When will he wake up?”

“They’ve induced a coma to reduce the swelling.” Now she shrugs, a gesture both worrying for obvious reasons, and comforting because Buck knows that she’s being completely honest; she’s not handling him with kid gloves or trying to sugar coat the truth. It’s something he appreciates. “Right now, he just needs time.”

Time.

Buck wants to laugh, but he’s afraid he might just end up crying again.

“Buck, there’s something else.”

He looks up to find Bobby frowning.

“A few months ago, you and Eddie signed those papers that named you Christopher’s godfather.”

Buck nods, anticipating where this is going. He recalls, like a distant nightmare, when he had to tell Eddie that Christopher had been lost in the tsunami. And now he’s going to have to tell Christopher that his dad is in a coma. Still, he nods because he knows that, even without the legal aspect, it’s his responsibility. He wouldn't trust anyone else. “Yeah, I’ll tell Chris.”

“Well… it’s not just that,” Bobby explains. “Buck, Eddie isn’t in a position to take care of Christopher at the moment. That leaves you.”

“What?”

“You’re his godfather.”

“Yeah,” Buck remembers that conversation distinctly; how Eddie had come to his apartment after being buried alive, how he’d practically begged Buck to agree to care for his son if anything happened to him. But this isn’t what they had talked about. “No, that’s only if Eddie dies. And you just said--”

“He’s not dying, Buck,” says Bobby, while Athena says, “Not exactly.”

“What does that mean?” his gaze bounces between them like a pinball, waiting for either of them to elaborate. Eventually he lands on Athena. “What do you mean not exactly?”

“When you signed the papers, you agreed to take care of Chris if Eddie dies or is--” she pauses to cast a sad look at Eddie, “--incapacitated.”

Incapacitated. Like a coma.

“So you’re saying that, starting now, I’m Christopher’s legal guardian?”

When Eddie had asked him to be Christopher’s godfather, he said it was a precaution, just a way of knowing that Chris would be taken care of if anything happened.

It was supposed to be a safety net. A contingency plan. It was never supposed to be real.

And yet, staring down at Eddie, the emotions that swell in Buck’s chest are very real. The IVs, the ventilator, the bandage on his head, are all real and Buck isn’t sure how to comprehend that. 

“I have to go,” Buck says suddenly. It takes all of his willpower to let go of Eddie’s hand, but he focuses on what he has to do now. With a glance at his watch, he realizes he’s been here longer than he thought. He’s already running late. “Carla’s probably wondering why Eddie’s not home by now, and I have to go to the station to change before I can go over. I need to call Isabel and Pepa, and--”

“Buck.”

Buck stops.

“Let me give you a ride,” Athena says gently.

But Buck is already shaking his head. “No. No, I have to do this. I can do this.” He very carefully doesn’t look at either of them. He pats down his pockets. “Bobby, I can’t find my keys.”

“They’re at the station,” Bobby tells him, “with your Jeep. You rode here in the ambulance.”

Right. Buck remembers that. He looks back at Eddie.

This can’t be real.

Because if it’s real, then there is a real chance that Eddie won’t wake up. There’s a real chance that Eddie will die here in this hospital bed.

“Bobby,” Buck says. His voice cracks, as does his resolve, and he finds himself trembling. “I can’t do this.”

“Not by yourself,” Athena agrees and wraps him in a hug-- he’s so much bigger than her, and yet in that moment he’s never felt smaller. He leans on her, letting her take some of the weight he’s feeling in his chest. Her hands make circles on his back, a soothing gesture that Maddie used to do when he was younger. It helps him breathe. “This is overwhelming and it’s too much for anyone to handle alone. But you’re not doing this alone.”

Over her shoulder, Buck can see Bobby already pulling the phone from his pocket. “I will call Carla to let her know what’s going on and see if she can stay with Christopher a little longer, then I will call Isabel and Pepa and tell them everything. You--” he points the phone in Buck’s direction, “need to shower and change. Athena will take you back to the station. You need to calm down and collect yourself before you see Christopher. If you’re a wreck, it’s going to scare him.”

As Athena leads him away, Buck looks back in time to see Bobby collapse into the chair next to Eddie’s bed. The phone is still in his hand, but he makes no move to call anyone. Instead, he starts to cry.

In that moment, that fleeting glimpse of Bobby when he thought Buck was out of sight, Buck thinks he understands; Bobby didn’t have it all together. He wasn’t calm or collected. He was pretending because that’s what Buck needed to see.

And now, as Christopher’s godfather, he knows what he needs to do. It doesn’t matter how terrified Buck is feeling, that he’s reeling with guilt and worry and anguish. He has to push all of those emotions down and be strong for Chris. Right now, that was the only thing that mattered.

#eddie's in a coma #but i promise he will live #angst with a happy ending #sad buck #godfather buck #i don't honestly know exactly where I'm going with this fic #but i'll figure it out as i go along #buddie #buck x eddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #my fics #Right Now #and since i will be posting updates spontaneously #Just message me if you want to be tagged in updates #That would make me super happy!

[bangzhasanxiety]

Puppy meets Jealousy

Aka the second instalment of my fluff series: Puppy meets world. As always, I advise to read it on AO3, but just in case, here you go tumblr, that one’s for you.

——————

Of course things couldn’t stop at Princeton. Of course it had to go further than that. Of course there had to be another thing stealing Buck from him. Of course.

Now, Eddie and Princeton aren’t arch nemesis anymore. You can even say they are friends. But Leopold? No way. Leopold is a vicious, manipulative fucker who knows exactly what she’s doing. Eddie is starting to wonder if animals have a thing against him. 

Leopold is a cat. A gracious ragdoll with baby blue eyes that rivaled Buck’s—except it didn’t because Buck’s eyes are the prettiest, that’s a fact, Eddie does not make the rules—. 

Leopold’s name doesn’t suit her—who the fuck names a ragdoll Leopold anyway? Buck, that’s who—but she makes it work by skipping around, head held high and her beautiful collar with her name on it on full display. She loves it, or maybe it’s the attention she gets that she loves. Attention seeker.

Leopold is a cat, Buck’s cat, and she’s only been there for two weeks. Two weeks is too much in Eddie’s book because Leopold is a little shit who has all the Buck privileges and she knows it. She definitely knows because she taunts him all the time.

This time though, Eddie is not the only one who’s jealous, no! This time, Princeton, golden retriever extraordinaire, the greatest boy in Buck’s book—after Christopher but Princeton doesn’t need to know that—, is also incredibly jealous. And while Eddie is a broody jealous, Princeton is the whiney type. The two want Buck’s attention and they will have it.

If it’s a war Leopold wants, a war she will get.

.

Puppy meets jealousy

.

Buck got Leopold as a gift. It was his birthday and everyone was gathered at Eddie’s house because the loft was way too small to have everyone over. 

Maddie, the traitor, had brought with her a medium sized box and when her dear brother had opened it, a beautiful cat had emerged. Alright, more like, a cat had jumped out and almost clawed Buck’s pretty eyes out. Anyone would have been completely scarred and would have demanded for the cat to be brought back from where it had came from. Anyone but Evan fucking Buckley. No, the blond had decided right there and right then, that the cat was his baby and he would love her forever. 

He had also announced her name out loud in the span of five minutes of heavy staring.

Leopold.

Leo-fucking-pold.

Who names their cat Leopold? Who does that?

“You can’t name her Leopold, Buck.”

“Why not?”

“Because...that’s not a name for a cat.”

“You take that back!”, Buck had gasped, completely offended by what Bobby—his father figure, Leopold’s grandfather—had said, “She loves it!”`

The man had simply huffed a laugh and patted Buck’s shoulder with an apologetic smile, used to his antics.

And guess what, Buck named the fucking cat Leopold. 

.

Now at the beginning Leopold hadn’t been a problem. She was welcomed in the family despite being quite passive-aggressive with everyone. They had all thought it was simply because she wasn’t used to them but the thing is, she did warm up. To Buck and only Buck. The rest of them? Enemy. Particularly one Eddie Diaz and one Princeton the golden retriever. 

And she makes sure they know it. Every single day.

.

Princeton is a dog. Leopold is a cat. Naturally their relationship isn’t the best. Princeton is also a golden retriever, one of the nicest and softest dog to exist, happy-go-lucky, energetic, gentle and easy to be around. He is the station mascot and most of the time stays there, but he also leaves with Buck quite often. It’s not a surprise to see him at his apartment, curled up at the foot of Buck’s bed, or lounging on the sofa, his head in his best friend’s lap—yes, Eddie has accepted the fact that he has to share that title with Princeton, reluctantly—.  He wouldn’t hurt a fly, except if you count that one time he ate a butterfly, but he knows better now. He swears.

So can someone please explain to Princeton why is the newcomer, a CAT, looking at him as if he was an intruder in his own home? Buck is Princeton’s human. Who is this squatter and how dare they look down on him as if he was a simple visitor. And also, what are they doing in his best friend’s lap—Princeton’s place, not cat’s place.—The audacity of the feline species never failed to surprise him.

“Prince, stop growling, you’re going to scare Leo.”, Buck looks at him sternly, the kind of gazes that makes Princeton feel guilty. Ouch. That hurt. But it’s alright, because Prince’s human, Bucky-great-cuddles, doesn’t know how mean cat is. Princeton will show him.

.

Princeton’s plan to show Bucky-great-cuddles how mean cat is, failed. Terribly. It backfired on him so badly, he was put on time out. Bucky-great-cuddles is looking at him in disappointment and cat is looking all smug in the background.

Cat is evil, but damn, cat is good at this war thing.

.

Eddie is sitting on Buck’s sofa, waiting for his boyfriend to come back from his errant at the grocery store. His abuela had Christopher for the night. She’d told him that she would take care of Chris and that he should go and have a fun night with Evan. She had also closed the door with a wink and a wide grin. 

Eddie never wants to see that expression on her face ever again. It speaks volume and at that moment? The volume was astronomical.

So here he is, alone in Buck’s apartment waiting for him to come back. Or maybe not so alone if Leopold counts. The cat is laying on a small bed—made just for her—and she’s glaring daggers at him with her piercing blue eyes. He glares right back. It might seem ridiculous, but he knows the little devil. He will never forget the day she broke the glass that was beside him while Buck had his back turned and left with her head high. She’s up to something and it shows.

The room is eerily silent, saved for the faint sound of the TV playing. Eddie and Leopold end up in a staring contest and none of them ever waver.

It’s not until the front door opens and Evan’s pretty smile appears that they stop glaring at each other. Both of their heads snaps and Leopold struts to her master, rubbing her head on his leg. He laughs, and put the bags in his hand on the table before bending down to gather her in his arm. 

“Did you two have fun?”, he walks to Eddie and gently presses a kiss on the corner of his mouth—much to Leopold’s irritation if her sudden mewl was anything to go by. 

“Absolutely.”, Eddie’s smile is strained and he’s glaring dagger at the cat in Buck’s hand. It’s not even in jealousy anymore, just exasperation at her presence. Okay, there’s a little bit of jealousy there still. Just a tiny bit.

No, Eddie does not kiss Buck fervently just so he could drop Leopold. That would be mean and childish. No, he does not put his hands on his boyfriend’s hips and makes him fall on the sofa before following suit. No he does not start a full blown make out session, with Buck under him, Eddie does not let his hands wander, he does not pepper kisses on his cheek, jaw and neck, he does not bite. He does not.

Except he does and it’s great! It’s fantastic, perfect. Things are heating up, the desire for more is building up, their moves are more passionate, frantic and bolder. 

It’s perfect. 

But they can’t go on.

Of course, fucking Leopold would ruin the mood, of course she would stare at them so hard they both feel it. Of course she would take a very, very nice and hot and sexy—emphasis on the sex part—night from Eddie’s hands. Of course.

They could go upstairs and continue their little make out session, but knowing the beast, she would follow them. She oh-so would. And knowing Buck, he would never let Eddie lock her in her cage—useless cage—or in the bathroom or anywhere.

Leopold cockblocked Eddie. 

Fuck. She really is winning the war.

.

“She is the worst.”, Eddie has a deep frown on his face. His hot coffee is sitting in front of him, still untouched., “Even Princeton thinks so and he likes everyone.”

They are at the station. Bobby and Buck are downstairs, possibly with Princeton, checking the ladder truck. Hen and Chimney are both sitting in front of Eddie, listening to his complains, as always. Hen is holding one of those magazine she always have when she pretends she’s not interested in gossip; so he’s sure she’s attentively listening and is already making three plans to help him—or make his life more difficult. Chimney is not hiding his thoughts of how ridiculous Eddie is being, he’s smirking and rolling his eyes and Eddie is pretty sure he’s live texting Maddie at the same time.

“She’s a cat.”, Hen deadpans, looking at him from behind her magazine.

“An evil cat.”

“Still just a cat.”

“You don’t understand Hen, it’s like she just hates me for some reason.”

“The same way you hates her for no reasons?”, Chimney chimes in from his place, still typing furiously on his phone—he was definitely live texting Maddie.

“Am I the only one who remembers all the things she’s done to me? The broken glass? That one time she crapped in my shoe? When her litter box was right where it usually is? Or that time she scratched me because I touched my boyfriend? My own boyfriend?”

“Okay, so maybe she does have some kind of grudge against you—”

“—Exactly—”

“Or maybe she still needs some time to warm up to you, and to the rest of us...”

“But that’s the thing Chim, the rest of you don’t see Buck as much as I do. I mean, we’re dating! And I see her way too often, she should be used to my presence by now! She’s used to Christopher, hell, she loves him!”

“Who doesn’t?”, Hen mutters with a fond smile.

“True but not the point. All I’m saying is I need to find a way to get her back.”

“The cat? You want to get back to...the cat?”, Hen looks at him in disbelief, even putting down her magazine, “And I thought you were one of the sane ones.”

“It’s only us in this case Hen.”, Chim laughs.

“Keep telling yourself that Howie, there are only two sane people in this team and that’s Bobby and me, the rest of you are morons.”

“Hey! Can we go back to the topic at hand? Yes. Thank you. Give me ideas to, I don’t know, get her to tone it down or something.”

“I don’t know what to tell you Eddie, talk to your boyfriend about it?”

“Yeah, no, not doing that.”

“Forgot you were emotionally stunted.”

“What does that have to do with anything? And I’m not emotionally stunted, thank you very much.”

“Obviously.”

.

Modern problems requires modern solutions. That’s what Eddie will say when they will ask him why he did what he did. 

Edmundo Diaz likes to think he’s a very responsible person. Between him and Buck, there’s no doubt about who is the most responsible and level-headed of the two—even though, after the thing with the well, there would be an argument about impulsiveness. But he stands by his point. He’s a responsible adult with a child.

But right now, standing in the middle of Buck’s apartment with a cat in his arms, a cat that is not Leopold, he’s starting to think that maybe, just maybe, his boyfriend’s impulsiveness and tendency of having crazy ideas are starting to rub on him.

Modern problems requires modern solutions. For Eddie, modern solutions means going to the shelter, get a kitten, and coming back to Buck’s with a little companion. The kitten is adorable, grey with big and curious green eyes. Eddie already loves him. Hopefully, Leopold will as well because he got him for her. Or well, to keep her busy at least while he finally gets some alone time with his boyfriend.—Honestly, why did they let Buck rent such an open space apartment? Like? Why?

Eddie sets the kitten on the floor and let it walk around, under Leopold’s wide eyes, and looks around for his boyfriend, only to find him upstairs, rummaging through his closet.

“Hey.”

“Finally you’re here, I need your help with—”

“I have something for you...but don’t get mad.”

Buck raises an eyebrow, thrown off by what Eddie had said. What could he have done to make him mad? He follows Eddie down the stairs only to see a small cat walking around his living room.

“Eddie...why is there another cat here?”

“Modern problems requires modern solutions.”

Edmundo Diaz should really start thinking before talking. That’s usually Evan’s scene. 

Neither of them notice the kitten making his way to them until he rubs his head on Buck’s leg. The young man looks surprise but still takes him in his hands, petting his small head. At this moment, Eddie knows, Buck is completely sold. 

They keep the kitten.

.

In the end, the kitten is a good thing. Buck ends up naming him Charles X. When Eddie asks him if it’s because of X-Men, the young man just looks at him in confusion. Eddie is not surprised. Leopold adores him too, she never let him out of her sight and cuddles with Charles X, like, all the time, and that means that Eddie has Buck way more than he used to when the evil cat that Leopold is, was stealing his attention. She even seems to have mellowed down if the way she doesn’t stare or hiss at him anymore is any way to go by.

So, yes, maybe Eddie suffers Hen’s and Chimney’s endless teasing at any chance they get, and maybe Maddie dies of laughter every time she sees Charles X, and maybe Christopher now wants a pet as well, and maybe Abuela tells him that if he’s going to act like that, he should just marry ‘lovely Evan’, and maybe Bobby shakes his head in desperation every time the kitten comes up in a conversation, and maybe Athena and Karen both call him a drama queen whenever they see him; but Eddie would like you all to know, that he once again won the war for Evan Buckley’s love. Fair and square.

Buck does mock him too when he learns the reason behind the presence of Charles X, and he does tell him that there was no war and that he loves him the most—after Christopher and Maddie thought, which, wow, rude but fair—. 

Ah, and, yes. Princeton and Leopold are still enemies...but that’s a story for another time.

#911 fic #Buddie #evan buckley #Eddie Diaz #meets fluff #humor #long #get your daily dose of irrationally jealous eddie #one day i will write him seriously #but as of now you get fluff #one day i will angst #not today #Princeton the golden retriever #Leopold the ragdoll