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bucketsofmonsters · 1 month

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Deep Water - Part 3

cw: the ocean, almost drowning, kidnapping, more tags to be added as the story continues

merman x fem reader

Word count: 5k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

On your first day of work, you were already regretting not pushing harder to get your siren to promise you he would stay away, glimpses of a snaking tail under the water every few hours stopping your heart for a beat every time.

You ignored your first sighting, reporting into the office, getting a list of duties and of expected intake for the day.

You asked when you’d be paid, part of you worried he’d say at the end of the month and you’d be stuck without a place to stay for weeks. You let out a sigh of relief when he said at the end of the week. Only two more days then. You could manage two more days. You were sent off on your way without much else said.

No one was assigned to help you, to figure out what you were supposed to do or how to start, so you did the only thing you could think of. You went and found Finn.

His face lit up the second he saw you, dropping the box he was holding to run over to your side.

“Hello little lady, how’s your first day going?”

You glanced back at the discarded cargo. “Do you not need to get that?”

“Is this going to take long? Okay, you probably want help, I’ll be right back.”

He rushed over to the dropped box that at the very least didn’t look like it had been damaged and hauled it over to a safer location, amidst some other unpacked boxes.

He was back at your side before the incredulous huff of laughter managed to escape you, giving you a sheepish look. “Sorry if I’m overeager, we don’t get many pretty girls out here, I’ve gotta try and help you before someone else snatches you up.”

You gave him a humoring laugh, more polite than anything.

You had a feeling your intentions with one another did not align, but he seemed pleasant and helpful and whatever his intentions happened to be, you could use that right about now.

And he held true to his word. For the rest of the day, he helped you figure out your various duties, largely abandoning his own, only occasionally popping out to make excuses or run and do something that others laughed and insisted really couldn’t wait.

The day passed quickly. The work wasn’t particularly hard, just repetitive. Finn did his best to help but once you realized he couldn’t read, it became a little more difficult.

He still hovered over your shoulder, something that you appreciated but had the unintended consequence of you having to struggle to pull his attention every time you caught another flash of scales out of the corner of your eye.

They seemed particularly likely to appear whenever Finn set off from his latest task he was ignoring to help you again.

You bristled at the thought, trying to tell yourself you were making up patterns, that it wasn’t anything at all.

At least you hoped you were. If it was a pattern, you were going to kill him.

Even once you got the hang of things, Finn refused to actually leave you, insisting that it was improper to abandon you on your first day. You just smiled and continued on, set on getting everything done. First impressions were important after all, and you needed to look just as valuable as your sister had been.

Before you knew it, the day was over and people had begun filing out. It wasn’t empty, the dock was never really empty, but it had quieted down and you finished the last of your work, marking everything down as neatly and perfectly as you could.

“I can take that back for you!” Finn exclaimed as you carefully looked over your work for any glaring mistakes. He seemed excited to find something he could actually help you with.

Part of you wanted to refuse, to take it back yourself, but he seemed too excited, refusing felt like kicking a puppy. Besides, you imagined he’d have a few kind words to say about you and that couldn't hurt.

He came darting back over in minutes, that persistent, goofy smile plastered across his face as he skidded to a halt. “Mission accomplished, ma’am,” he said with a little salute.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it,” you said, trying to push as much gratitude as you could into your voice.

“Now that that’s done, I was wondering if you wanted to go out or something. I could get you some drinks or food or whatever, celebrate your first day being over.”

There it was, exactly what you’d worried this had all been leading to. “Finn…”

Water came splashing up through the gaps in the wood on the dock, drenching the pair of you.

You jumped, reflexively and far too late to save yourself from any of the water.

As you looked through the slats, you could have sworn you saw the glint of scales.

“Yes,” you blurted out, bringing Finn’s attention back to you. “That sounds great.”

You gave him what felt like a poor approximation of an excited smile.

“Really? That’s amazing. The ocean seems to have something to say about it. She’s nervous, poor girl. Promise I won’t leave you behind.” He spoke down to the waves, attempting to lighten the mood as he saw your face go white in your newly wetted skirts.

You smiled, your heart hammering in your ears, and after another quiet little bit of reassurance, he scurried off, telling you to stay put while he found a coat he’d discarded earlier in the hot sun and promptly forgotten about, and then you could be off.

Simon, you guessed that was what you were calling him now, decided that was an opportune time to breach the surface of the water and look up at you with those big, golden eyes.

An anger that had been simmering quietly inside of you at every flash of scales you’d seen throughout the day came to a head as he had the audacity to simply appear like this. “Go away,” you hissed, the words coming out louder than you meant them to.

This wasn’t like the day before. You knew Finn would be back any moment, you didn’t have time to argue on the shore.

He remained resolutely above the water, looking up at you with a determination that almost frightened you set across his impish features.

When he opened his mouth, you held your hands out, trying to tell him to stop, that it wasn’t safe.

And then he started speaking and your hands fell limp to your sides, warning him not seeming quite so important anymore.

The words sounded different. Maybe he was singing? It was hard to tell. You couldn’t even make out the words, couldn’t understand any of it. All you knew was that he was there. Why were you all the way up here? You should be down there with him. Maybe then you could understand.

Whatever noises he was making, ones you were too far away to really hear, wormed their way right through your ears into your head, snaking their way around inside you, taking up the space where your thoughts were moments ago.

There was nothing but him.

Everything else faded away until all you could see was amber eyes.

And then, walking carefully and intentionally, you tumbled into the water, seemingly of your own accord.

The second you hit the icy water, the warm calm you’d been pulled into dissipated. You weren’t sure if it was the shock of the water or your head going under, no longer able to hear the hypnotic noises from the siren you’d thought was harmless. At least to you.

And what a foolish notion that was. He was a siren. It didn't matter if he'd saved you or not, of course he was dangerous. You weren’t special to him. Why would you be?

As you tried to come up for air his arms met your shoulders and pushed you deeper and you realized, horrifically, just how wrong you’d been.

You didn’t understand why he did what he’d done, why he’d helped you before. Maybe he’d just been playing with his food, toying with you until he got bored.

Your mind newly cleared, you fought to swim up. As you did, his tail wound around your legs and you saw a pout break out across his face.

Panic rose in your chest and he watched, head tilted, examining you carelessly, with your legs still bound together under the water.

He looked at you, eyes big and bright and expectant, flicking across your face as he tried to fight back a smile.

You struggled and his hand grasped yours, keeping it in place, effortlessly keeping you under the waves. The bright look in his eyes shifted to confusion, seeming baffled as to why you’d rather breach the surface than steal a kiss from him and let the cold water invade your lungs.

As he stared expectantly and confused at you, you wiggled just enough to free one leg, something he seemed unconcerned with as he continued to hold you under. He knew he was stronger than you, that you had no real shot of escape. You both did.

That didn’t matter to you. You brought your knee up as swiftly and firmly as you could in the cold water that forced a horrible, sluggish feeling into your limbs, and kneed him right in his gills.

That seemed to activate some instinct in him and he wrapped entirely around you, effortlessly countering you at every point of struggle. They were the movements of a practiced hunter.

You kicked and fought and made every attempt to break away and breach the surface but he was too strong, too practiced at this. At holding people down.

You wondered how you matched up to them, how hard you fought compared to his other prey, if he’d remember this at all once you were gone?

At some point in the struggle you must have kissed, in the loosest sense of the word. You missed it in the flurry of movement, just another brush of skin against skin in the struggle. It must have happened though because as your lungs burned just a bit too much and your brain forced you to inhale, you didn’t choke on water but instead felt the burning soothe and your instincts calm, despite the salt water flooding inside you.

Regardless of your newfound ability to breathe, the fight and lack of oxygen had weakened you and your struggle slowed.

As it did, he rose to the surface

When you breached the waves, the dock was nowhere in sight. You had no idea when in your fight he’d dragged you out to sea or how far you’d gone.

“You can breathe,” he said, looking at you with that same quiet confusion as when you’d fought against him. “I made sure you could breathe. Why do you still worry?”

You inhaled in an attempt to answer him with a screamed admonishment and then, before a word could escape you, you were coughing up water

He sat patiently as you did, his arms wrapped carefully around you.

The last time you’d coughed up water like this, you’d been too relieved to be alive to really notice it. You did not have that luxury this time. The saltwater burned coming up, your lungs feeling heavy in your chest as the water poured out of you.

It felt like you were dying. You didn’t understand how you weren’t.

He didn’t seem concerned, just holding you as you fought to empty your lungs so you could finally inhale, every attempted inhalation just stirred the churning water in your lungs, agitating them further.

As you finally emptied your lungs, you sucked in air. Your chest filled and it hurt more than it brought you relief.

“You have to take me back,” you forced out, the burning in your lungs exhausting you past the point of screaming at him.

His lips pursed into a pout and his eyes darted away from yours. “You don’t even like it there,” he said, sounding openly disappointed, not even attempting to hide it. But then, why would he? You were at his mercy, he could do whatever he wanted to.

“I like it better than I like it here,” you said, gesturing around you at the open ocean.

He looked around at the ocean surrounding you and then returned his gaze intently to your face. “I can take you somewhere else.”

“You know that’s not what I mean, you’d better not…”

And then he was off, swimming quickly through the waves.

He kept your head above water carefully, although you still had to keep your mouth firmly shut to avoid inhaling anything, but even that didn’t slow him down.

And then, with no warning, you were going down, back through thick water. You didn’t have a chance to gather your bearing before it was too dark to see anything, Simon’s grip on your arm was the only thing cutting through the cold black abyss around you.

Your arm brushed against hard rock, scraping painfully before it was gone and you found yourself disoriented in the space around you once more. You could be surrounded by rock for all you knew, inches away from it. There was no way to tell, no way to really know anything about where you were being dragged.

Your fight renewed as your air began to run out and the darkness still imposed itself around you. You knew better, knew you couldn’t get away. Even if you did, you didn’t even know which direction was up anymore. Your instincts, however, were not so easily suppressed by silly things like facts.

You couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to kill you. Even more than that, as your time under the water dragged on, why he was going to kill you? Maybe you’d upset him, made an unforgivable mistake when you kicked him or complained just a little too much. The way it looked now, you guessed you’d never know. You didn’t have the oxygen left to figure it out, your brain starting to get foggy.

And still, it continued. He dragged you down and down and then your head breached the surface and as you gasped in air, the word flipped right side up once more.

You dragged air into your pleading lungs, this time no wretched water biting your throat as you did.

Your lungs still hurt though. A quieter ache.

Your eyes adjusted slowly to the dark and you could barely make him out in what appeared to be a cave, the moon shining in through a few holes riddled in the rock above you.

“You could’ve killed me,” you said, desperation creeping into your voice.

His head tilted. “No. I know how long it takes a human to drown. You were fine.”

His words did nothing to settle your unease

“Is this better?” he asked, gesturing around to the cave you’d approached from beneath.

The water was just a small pool in a larger cave, leading off a few feet before revealing a glimpse of the outside world through the holes that let the light in.

You hauled yourself out of the water to look and saw that there was no other way out, only the horrible, dark path through the water he’d taken you through.

You couldn’t get out of here on your own.

Even if you could, you had nowhere to go. There was probably just more open water outside these walls. Even if there was land, you had no idea where you were.

You wondered if Finn was worried about you yet. Maybe he was. Or maybe he thought you’d abandoned him, left him alone on the dock in lieu of having to go out to dinner with him.

You weren’t sure which you were hoping for, which was better for him to believe. Which would be easier to explain when you returned? If you returned.

“You need to take me back,” you said, trying to force some authority into your tone.

“Can I ask you some questions about humans?” he asked, completely ignoring you.

“No,” you snapped. “You can’t. You can take me back.”

He drifted towards you and you pulled back further onto the patch of dry land.

That seemed to hurt him, like he couldn’t understand why you would possibly be wary of him.

He rested his head on the rocky shore, looking defeated, slowly drying blonde hair curling up around his eyes as it was freed of some of the weight of the water, and you fought to not think that if he hadn’t just done what he did to you, maybe he’d look sweet.

“Who was that?” he blurted out, his head lifting with his words as his jaw moved against the stone below him.

“What?”

“On the dock. He was talking to you, you were leaving with him. Who was that?”

“Who, Finn? Why do you-” A thought began to dawn on you. “His name is Finn. You hang around the dock, do you not know him?”

He shrugged in the water. “I’ve seen him.”

“And you care now? That’s kind of sudden.”

“I guess.”

“Alright. Did you kidn- Did you take me so I wouldn’t go with him.” You did your best to keep your voice measured in an attempt to get an honest response from him.

“You’re supposed to go to the beach. You weren’t going to the beach.”

“No, you rejected my deal, remember? I thought I wasn’t going to the beach because you were just hanging around.”

He rolled his eyes just barely, enough to make a quiet irritation stir in your stomach. “Can’t talk to you when I’m around,” he said, matter of factly. “You said you’d go to the beach.”

“I know, but something came up. I’d have come back. I can’t miss one day?” you said, trying to reason with him.

“One day? It was the first day!” he said with a huff.

“I hadn’t even left yet, how did you know I wasn’t going to go meet you.”

“Were you?” he asked, and you didn’t have a good answer for him.

“We’ll never know, will we? Because you decided to kidnap and almost drown me.”

“I didn’t almost drown you. I would never drown you.”

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. “Alright, well at the very least you decided to hurt me.” Sharp words bounced off the stone walls of the cave.

His eyes widened. “I hurt you?”

“Yeah, of course you did. I couldn’t breathe. And that’s beside how bad coughing up sea water hurts.”

He shook his head. “You’re fine, why would it hurt?”

“Simon,” you said, “It hurts humans when we can’t breathe. And we aren’t meant to have to breathe water, it burns when I have to get it out.”

For someone who presumably had drowned dozens of humans, he seemed to have little idea how drowning actually felt. To be fair, he probably didn’t have many chances to learn about the human side of the experience, you didn’t imagine many survived long enough to tell him about it.

“Oh,” he said, deflating a little. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Right, just to kidnap me.”

He nodded with no air of shame regarding his actions. “Yeah.”

You settled back against the wall of rock behind you, trying to think of what else you could say to get yourself out of there.

He looked up at you and suddenly he seemed unbearably nervous. “You want to leave.”

“I thought we discussed this, I have to leave. I can’t just disappear, there are people waiting for me.”

“Finn,” he asked, saying the name like it tasted rotten in his mouth.

“Yes, Finn. I told you, I can’t just disappear.”

You had to lean closer to him to hear his next words at all, his voice unbearably quiet. “It’ll hurt you.”

You slid back into the water beside him, hope sparking through you. “I’ll be fine, I just want to get out of here.”

His hands snaked around your sides, pulling you close to him. “Do you want to hold your breath or breathe the water?” You could feel his breath on your skin as he spoke. You didn’t understand how breathing worked for him, where his lungs ended and his gills began.

You shivered as you thought back to retching up the water, how it had burned coming up, how the attempted gasps felt inside already heavy lungs. “I’ll hold my breath.”

He nodded solemnly. “I will be fast.”

You sucked in a breath before he pulled you down, a luxury you had not been granted last time.

He was true to his words. You could feel the water rushing past you as you held your breath, clinging to him the whole way.

When you breached the surface, your lungs didn’t hurt quite as much as they had the first time around. His grip on you was tighter than when you’d arrived, a fear present in him that wasn’t before.

Your hands were wrapped around his neck, the desire to get yourself away from him gone now that you were fairly certain he’d bring you back, even if he wasn’t happy about it.

He brought you to the shore, a familiar spot.

Something occurred to you as you found yourself in shallow water. “How’d you even know where to take me? When you first found me, you took me right here.”

“I know where the ships are going. Always to the same spot.” He sounded almost annoyed at the ships’ predictability.

“Well, they have to go to a dock.”

He grumbled in response, his discontent evident. You weren’t sure how much of it was from this grudge against ships and how much was because he’d had to bring you back to shore.

You pulled yourself out of the water and wanted just sit there for a while, regain some of your energy.

The second you hit dry land, Simon was gone, disappearing before you could say so much as another word to him.

You didn’t really have time to talk or rest anyway, running back onto the dock as quickly as you could, hoping Finn hadn’t left yet.

You found him standing alone on the dock, looking dejected right until his eyes drifted towards you. His eyes widened as they met yours and his expression shifted from surprise to concern, rushing towards you.

“What happened?” he asked, pulling the jacket he’d run off to retrieve over your shoulders. “I thought you’d gotten bored and abandoned me but a swim at this time of day hardly seems like a good idea.”

“I fell in. Guess I’m more tired than I thought,” you said with a sheepish smile, hoping it was anything close to convincing.

His hand drifted up to push wet hair away from your face. “I’m sure you’re not feeling up to going out anymore…”

“No,” you said, not thinking of Finn at all but instead set on rebelling against the attempts to stop you from going. It wasn’t fair to Finn, but by the time that occurred to you, you’d already spoken. “I mean, you waited all this time for me, it would be rude not to go.”

He seemed too excited to notice how suspicious you were being. “Alright, but make sure you’re not overextending yourself.”

You nodded with an unenthusiastic smile and let him lead you off to a tavern somewhere.

It was a largely uneventful evening, all things considered. He bought you some soup, something nice and hot that you could feel in your bones, creating a comfortable warmth in your core.

Your reticence to talk was barely noticed. Finn seemed more than happy to fill the silence, letting you bundle up under the thick wool of his coat and focus on your food.

Before you knew it, it was gone and there was nothing left to distract yourself with.

You waited for Finn to finish whatever story he’d been telling that you hadn’t been listening to and said, “This has been lovely, but I should be getting back.”

He laughed. “What, back to work? I’m not that boring, am I?”

You started as he pulled you fully out of your head back into the tavern. “What? No, of course not.”

“So where are you staying then?” he asked.

You shrugged. “Nowhere. I’ll find an inn after I get paid but until then-”

“You could stay with me!” he blurted out before you even had the chance to finish your sentence.

You weren’t quite as enthused. “Look, Finn, I don’t…”

“This isn’t me trying to come onto you, honest. You shouldn’t have to stay out in the cold, it’s not right. I mean, no wonder you're tired. If you don’t get some proper sleep you’ll drown, and then who am I supposed to try and impress every day?”

It was most certainly untoward, but the offer was tempting nonetheless.

You reevaluated Finn, trying to determine how much you really trusted him. Enough for dinner, sure, but enough for this?

You thought about spending another night alone on the cold shore and decided that yes, you did trust him enough for this.

As soon as you nodded your assent, he grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the stairs in the tavern.

You couldn’t help but think that taking you to the tavern he was staying at felt presumptuous but the allure of a warm room and blankets were too strong for you to say anything to that effect.

His room was decently sized, with a large bed pressed against the back wall. Reassuringly, he started to set up a space on the floor for you, moving some blankets from a chair in the corner to the floor.

To your chagrin, he began to settle into the nest of blankets on the ground and you immediately moved to set it right.

“Absolutely not, you will not sleep on the floor in your own room.”

He looked up at you with big, sad eyes. “But-”

“No buts, I will leave.”

He sighed. “Fine. But know that I’m not happy about it.”

You settled onto the floor and he slid another blanket off the bed onto you. You accepted it without argument, allowing him this at least. Besides, you were in no state to be turning down blankets.

It was late and the blankets helped against your still damp form. The calm itself was refreshing and you fought the urge to thank Finn, who seemed like he’d already drifted off to sleep since you’d begun to settle down.

You had no choice but to try and follow him.

You slept restlessly but at least you slept.

#terato #merman x reader #merman x human #monster x reader #monster x human #monster bf #monster boyfriend #merman #Simon is crazy this chapter #Don’t invite a wolf into your home and then be surprised when it bites

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tom-holland-stuff · 2 months

Text

Displeasing Encounters & Passionate Debates // Chapter 2

My Masterlist

// Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 - mood-board // Chapter 3 //

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x Fem!reader

Summery: After returning form district 12 Coriolanus snow has had everything handed to him on a silver platter. Wealth, status, power, he's got it all. What happens when he discovers that Dr Gaul, his mentor, has taken on a new assistant.

Warning: SFW - for now. Swearing. (let me know if i forgot any)

A/N: Hey Hey everyone, i'm so beyond glad that you all like chapter 1!! I honestly couldn't wait to share this next part with you all and i hope you enjoy it just as much if not more. Chapter 3 is actually already done, i just have to proof read and let me just say things will be gettin spicy...

Word Count: 2.3K

The past week has been less than manageable for Coriolanus. Around this time of year the capital enters into a season of continuous social events. From opulent galas to extravagant balls and leisurely brunches, every imaginable type of festivity adorned the calendar. Not that the capital is known for anything less than a good time, but at this time of the year it seems to be occasion after occasion.

Yet, for Coriolanus, these events were more burdensome than enjoyable, especially since the war. There was a time when his family flourished in these festivities, but even with his new found riches and elitist status, Coryo has not developed a likeness for these such things.

To compound matters, the university's exam period loomed over him like a menacing spectre, casting a shadow over his already overwhelmed schedule.

Buried under a mountain of study materials and invitations, Coriolanus finally found a momentary respite as he made his way to visit his mentor, Dr. Gaul. His interactions with her have been limited to brief consultations after her office hours or clandestine meetings in the university's labs, where time for anything beyond academic pursuits was a luxury he couldn't afford. Needless to say, Coryo is keen to return to the lab and commence working with Dr. Gaul.

He makes his way down the sleek hallways of the Citadel. Being a weekday in office hours the building is busier than he is used to seeing it. People clad in white coats smoothly streamline through the halls at a steady pace.

Within no time he is approaching the all too familiar doors to the main lab. The surroundings jog memories from the past few weeks when he has attended brisque meetings with the professor,

because no matter how brief his meeting may have been he always managed to run it her.

Y/n would always be seated in the same position as she was when they first met, and every-time he would walk past they would acknowledge each other with a harsh stare. If Coriolanus didn't know any better he would think her resting face was a constant look of utter displeasure.

What a waste of a pretty face.

He quickly shakes his head, disgusted with the fact that he even conjured those words in his mind.

The distasteful thought prompts him to look to his side ready to engage in the brief - displeasing interaction. But to his surprise, the desk is empty.

A wave of relief washes over him, mingled with a tinge of curiosity..

He tries to affirm to himself that he is relieved to not have to see her face today, but he can’t help but wonder why y/n is not seated in her usual station.

His relief, however, was short-lived, replaced by a sense of unease as he collided with something—or rather, someone—unexpectedly.

It makes a disgruntled huff, causing Coryo to look down in the direction of where his body made impact. There he sees y/n. Kneeling on the floor in front of him…

She scrambles to pick up the papers and folders that are now in a heap on the floor.

Coriolanus makes no attempt to help her, rather he watches in amusement. As she struggles to regain her composure, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss.

He crosses his arms and looks down on her.

Once she has pulled herself together and neatly stacked her paperwork, y/n looks up at Coryo with a piercing gaze, still kneeling at his feet.

His smirk drops as an unfamiliar feeling rushes over him, far to aware of the site he finds himself in. The position he and y/n found themselves in went from funny to…. to….

He can’t think of a word to describe it. (or he'd rather not think of it)

He takes a step back to give her some space to stand, her eyes never leaving his.

“How kind of you to offer me help'' she states, words dripping in sarcasm. Seemingly unaffected the same way he was.

Coriolanus quickly straightens himself and plasters that dumb smirk back on his face.

“You're very welcome,” he grins, matching her tone.

With that, y/n huffs and rolls her eyes, making her way back to her desk.

Coriolanus takes this as his cue to continue his venture into the lab, but he can’t help but look back and examine y/n as she annoyedly rummages through her now disorganised papers. He can’t seem to shake that odd feeling he experienced before. So rather he focuses on how her current displeasure brings him joy.

As the days passed, Coriolanus's encounters with Y/n grew increasingly frequent, each interaction punctuated by a palpable sense of discord. Whether it was their chance collisions in the university halls or their confrontations in Dr. Gaul's lectures, their dynamic seemed fraught with unresolved tension.

That brings us to the present moment. Coryo was attending university, walking through the halls with his fellow peers when he once again hit something hard as he turned a corner

For god's sake, he thinks.

And then he looks down...

For fuck's sake

One the ground once again is y/n scrambling to pick up the papers she had dropped… once again.

“Are you following me?” he asks semi-demandingly, annoyance hidden in the back of his throat.

y/n Stands up and quickly straightens her self “for me to have been following you would require me to watch where you're going, and based off our collision i would say no” she says matter of factly, barely even looking at him as she flicks through her papers to make sure they are all in order.

Coriolanus gives her a once over. Y/n is not dressed in her typical business attire, instead she adorns a crisp white lab coat and red scrub like top and pants.

Before he is able to say anything else, y/n squeezes between Coriolanus and his friends in the direction of Dr. Gauls office he assumes. As she moves she brushes past him, the contact making his nostrils flare in annoyance.

And He Prays that he doesn't have to see her aggravating face again… for at last a while

Coriolanus is not a religious person, but he is certain now if there is a god they definitely do not faver him. Not even a few hours later he is entering one of the university's lecture halls for Dr. Gauls tutorial in (think of a name for a subject that discusses the ethics of the hunger games) and there she is, Y/n, standing in the centre of the room taking notes as Dr. Gaul speaks to her.

The lecture hall is shaped like an amphitheater of sorts. Levels of chairs with desks cascade down and around a flat space in the middle of the room, similar to a stage.

Coriolanus moves quickly to a seat not wanting to give y/n the satisfaction of his attention (not that she was looking anyway).

As the class settles and Dr. Gauls takes her place in the centre to address her eager students, y/n sits down at a small desk on the floor, its space occupied with what looks like an acrylic black box, its colour a stark difference to the rest of the room. Coryo now can’t help but stare now as y/n reaches into the box… no cage, and pulls out a white snake.

y/n holds it softly in her hands as it weaves around her expenditures. She lifts the snake above her head and places it around her neck, it looked to be maybe two feet long, it wrapped it's self easily around her shoulders.

He brings his attention back to Gaul as y/n’s head shoots up in his direction. Quickly settling his gaze away he tunes into what his professor is explaining.

“This new form of technology allows the wearer of the device, similar to a headband, to control their chosen mutt , making them do as they wish. The device scans and mimics the waves made by our brain and delivers them to the chip implanted in the mutt's nervous system through electromagnetic currents.”

Dr Gaul then turns in y/n’s direction, silently giving her a cue to demonstrate. Y/n looks at the snake and it pauses for a second, as if they are having a mental discussion, and then wraps itself around her torso, spiralling down her frame until it reaches the floor.

The reptile makes its way towards the stairs of the auditorium, swiftly slithering off the hardwood floor. Gasps and small squeals can be heard as the snake passes under Students feet, making its way higher and higher. Clemensia Dovecote lets out a blood curdling scream and stands on her table as the snake passes her bye. Unfazed the slithering creature makes a direct line for Coriolanus's table.

The Reptile wraps itself around Coryo’s leg, spiralling upwards until it lays atop his desk.

He is Tensing every muscle in his body, Coriolanus didn't hate snakes but he certainly wasn’t fond of them (not having a great history with them himself). The slithering creature lifts its body up until its face to face with Coryo.

Its stark black tongue darts out rhythmically as it tastes the air, The dark colour contrasts the unnaturally silky white scales that adorn its body.

Coriolanus scrunches his face in unpleasantness.

And then, as if it was able to register Coryo’s distaste for it, the snake let out a violent hiss, spreading its mouth open and flashing its fangs. He tries his best not to flinch, but he can’t help but lean back as the snake halls itself higher arching its body as if it was reading to strike.

“Thank you y/n” Dr Gaul’s voice echoes through the room and the snake freezes.

Coriolanus dosen’t let his gaze fall from the snake until it begins to move. He follows it with his eyes as it slithers away, noticing y/n now positioned directly in front of his desk. The snake curls around her arm and makes its way to her shoulders where it hangs comfortably.

“If i didn’t know any better i’d say you were afraid” Y/n taunts as she strokes the body of the reptilian creature.

“You must be mistaking me for Clemmy here” he deflects her comment and points notedly at his peer who still remains curled up in her chair shaking with her eyes closed.

y/n simply hums, and brings her attention back to the blonde haired boy in front of her.

Just as he thinks she is about to walk away the snake darts out, mere inches from Coriolanus's face. He only allows himself to get a glimpse of its sharp fangs before he screws his eyes shut.

Y/n chuckles deeply, the snakes behaviour clearly still under her command.

“Get that vile creature away from me before I turn into a belt myself” Coriolanus spits out, his words laced with venom.

“Now, now…” y/n tuts, slowly stroking the back of the snake as it resumes its position on her frame.

“... you should know better than to insult your own kind” she smirks.

y/n swiftly walks away before Coryo is able to get a last word in

The nerve on this bitch

He is barely able to focus on the rest of the lecture, far too riled up by the class's previous events. He sits rigid in his chair, nostrils flaring as he stares y/n down for the remainder of the class.

She however, never once looks back in his direction, but oh he knows she can feel his burning gaze by the way she shifts almost awkwardly, forcing herself to place her eyes anywhere other than him.

He barely even registers that the lecture is being dismissed until students begin to push past his desk. He reaches down for his bag and makes an effort to leave his chair, stopped by the sound of Dr. Gauls voice ringing through the almost empty hall.

“Mr. Snow, a moment” she beckons him.

He makes his way steadily down the stairs of the room. Reaching the lower level, he surveys the area quickly, eyes falling on y/n as she whispers something to the black box that now holds the reptilian mutt, eyes locking with his. He refuses to look away, attempting to assert some sort of superiority to her.

y/n narrows her eyes fiercely at him, picking up the cage and walks out of the room.

Coriolanus shifts his attention back to his mentor.

“In such fast paced times, one can only spread themselves so thin” Dr. Gaul plainly states. Unsure what she is vaguely referring too, Coriolanus offers her a curt nod in acknowledgment.

“I have a request,” she continues.

“In the next coming nights there is to be a gala of sorts and i require you to be in attendance”

Coriolanus holds himself higher, the flattery of the innovation overpowering his distaste for such events.

“Thank you, Dr. Gaul. i would be honoured” he asserts.

Dr. Gauls' already wicked grin grows wider, sinister even. She chuckles deeply, amused.

“How wonderful ... y/n and yourself will have the most splendid of times”

Are.

you.

Fucking.

Serious.

His jew clenches, he wishes he was able to protest. Instead he simply offers a strict nod in Dr. Gauls direction and races out of the room.

As he leaves the lecture hall, Coriolanus found himself consumed by a turbulent mix of emotions—anger, frustration, and a gnawing sense of unease.

His interactions with Y/n had left him unsettled, his usual facade of indifference crumbling in the face of their escalating conflict. The prospect of spending more time in her company filled him with a sense of dread, his resentment simmering beneath a veneer of polite acquiescence.

As he swiftly makes his way through the halls of the university, wishing nothing more than to forgot the events of today, he swears he can hear the echoing of Dr. Gauls amused laugh.

what a strange, strange women.

A/N: Soooooooo... what did we think?? what are your guy's thoughts on whats to happen next? please let me know if you have any suggestions ideas or ask me a question x you can do that here.

Also i don't give permission for my work to be posted without credit or whatever.

TAG LIST // Let me know if you want to be tagged!!!

@secretsicanthideanymore

#coryo snow #coriolanus snow #tom blyth #tbosas #coriolanus fanfiction #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus smut #coryo x reader #coriolanus snow x reader #coryo smut #coriolanus snow fanfiction #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow smut

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starsxblazing · 4 months

Text

Pushing the Limits (Part 10)

Summary: Prepping for your mission takes an interesting turn

Azriel x Reader

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 11 - Part 12

----

Cassian banging on your door before the sun was even up had you pulling your covers over your head with a huff. When you didn’t answer, he burst through the door and pulled the covers off of you. You frowned at him when cool air hit you and it was all that you could do to not knock that cocky smirk off of his face.

“Cassian!” you snapped. “I could’ve been naked.”

“I wouldn’t have minded,” he laughed. “Wake your ass up. Rhys wants to see us.”

“Aren’t we supposed to be training in that damn maze that you set up?” you asked as you hesitantly crawled out of bed, rubbing your eyes in the process.

“The girls’ will manage without the two of us for a few hours.”

“Yea but I like doing it with them. Even if it kicks our asses most of the time.”

“Well the sooner you get up, the sooner we can get back.”

You groaned again as you stood to force yourself awake. Knowing your struggle, the House placed a steaming hot cup of coffee on your desk and you had never been more thankful for a house that was essentially alive. Unsure of what to wear, you slipped on your usual loose t-shirt and leggings in hopes of being comfortable.

For all that you wanted to be with your friends, you also didn’t want to be. The three girls going through hell in those obstacles were a lifesaver and it gave you something to think about other than your broken heart. You ignored Azriel any time that you were in seeing distance from the other, refusing to look at him because you couldn’t forgive him. At least not yet. Maybe, just in hindsight, it wasn’t that big of a deal but it was to you.

You had lost your favorite dagger that had been a personalized gift from Rhys whenever you both were free of the underground prison. It was so close to your heart since it was something given from the heart and it really hurt to lose. Not only that, Azriel’s mistrust in you hurt as well. They all knew that you weren’t as good but it left you wondering if the shadowsinger’s harsh words about your training was something that he really thought was true.

Pushing your pain aside, you made your way to the balcony where Cassian was already waiting on you. He gave you a playful scoff paired with an equally playful glare. It eased your pain just a bit and you couldn't be any more thankful for him. Being in his presence was calming so you didn’t mind the close proximity that he moved towards you once you stepped into the fresh air.

“Do you know any good blacksmiths?” you asked as you looked up at him.

“I know plenty,” he chuckled, the sound being off compared to usual.

“No. Not just any blacksmith,” you sighed. “I want the best of the best.”

“To replace the dagger you lost?” You nodded since you weren’t able to form the words. “I will go through all of my sources and find the absolute best.”

You barely caught Azirel’s presence as you grinned up at Cassian before he gently picked you up and moved into the sky at a slower pace than he usually did. Anger was shining in his eyes as he flew and you hated that you were the reason behind the rift between the three brothers. It was the absolute last thing that you would ever want but yet here they all were.

Cassian landed flawlessly as he always did and set you down just as gently had he had when he had picked you up. You had wondered if it was pity that made him do it but you quickly realized that it was his appreciation that you were still alive and with them.

Rhysand was waiting in the office with Amren and no sooner than they could sit down, Azriel was striding through the door behind them. You still refused to even so much as look at him even though you so desperately wanted to. A month after his confession still had your heart hurting and a part of you wanted to let it go just to see if things would work.

“Are you up for some work, Y/N?” Rhys asked, breaking through your thoughts.

“You know I always am,” you agreed as you felt Azriel’s eyes on you. “It’s only been a month and I’m so restless that I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“You just like to fight, girl.”

You grinned at Amren and you were always conflicted if you liked her or Cassian the most but always decided that was almost equal. Amren always encouraged your violence and you found it amusing every single time. Pushing your thoughts to the side, you listened as Rhysand explained the details to Cassian.

“It’s a rival camp of Windhaven,” the High Lord started. “They have snuck in too many times, mostly in the middle of the night, and have done what the worst of the Illyrians have to offer.”

“Actual and true danger then?” you asked and contemplated what exactly they were to do. “I’m guessing that it means sneaking and plotting.”

“Cassian knows what needs to be done and will give you all of the details tonight before you leave in the morning.”

You nodded but was surprised that the shadowsinger had nothing to say, even by the end of the meeting.

Azriel was beside himself with worry as he sat in his room, his shadow leaving him to go check on you in your room. Going to Windhaven to see how things were going was one thing but taking care of rogue Illyrians from a different camp was something different. He had full trust in his brother, who was still highly upset with him, to protect you but the mating bond only had his worry at an all time high.

It would take everything in him to use his senses and not be overbearing. Even though he knew that you didn’t know about the bond, he tried to tug on it anyway. He wanted nothing more than for the both of you to be fully connected so that he could send all of his love and regret in hopes that you would know just how sorry that he was. It was another sleepless night and he waited for a different shadow to tell him that you were getting ready to leave. The one that favored you the most never told him anything about you other than that it wanted to be with you.

He was unsure if he should do what he was planning but he felt that if he didn’t, he would wholeheartedly regret it. Cassian was finishing his breakfast while you were working with the many straps on your leathers so you would be able to place all of the steel on the table in front of you in them. For the first time in a month, you looked at him and all that he could see was sadness and pain before you quickly returned to your task.

Despite the fact that Cassian was still upset with him, he threw him an apologetic glance before watching you struggle with the many weapon holder straps. He took a deep breath and approached you, his heart clenching and aching when you stiffened as he got close. In hopes of appearing smaller and less intimidating, he knelt beside you which caused you to look at him with surprise.

He did his best not to touch you no matter how much that he wanted to as he wrapped the strap around your thigh. You continued to stare down at him as he tightened it so that it fit correctly before adjusting the one around your waist and then the one that would hold the sword behind your back.

Once he was satisfied that it was all correct, he pulled Truth-Teller from its strap on his own thigh and placed it in the strap on your right side so that it would be the first thing that you could grab. From his peripheral vision, he saw his brother completely frozen in shock as he knew he would be.

“I don’t need your weapons,” you muttered, the pain in your voice only breaking him further.

“I know,” he whispered as most of his shadows disappeared other than a few that wanted to stay with you. “But Truth-Teller has never let me down. Ever. And I know that it will help you too if it is needed.”

There were tears lining your eyes whenever he slowly stood and the sight of it had him wanting to pull you into him to comfort you from the pain that he had caused. Before he could say anything else, Rhys appeared on the balcony and his eyes went wide when he noticed the weapon strapped on your side. With a shake of his head, he stepped away so that the High Lord could winnow them to their destination and he prayed to the Mother that you would come back safe and unscathed.

@amara-moonlight @allygrace74 @sidthedollface2 @historygeekqueen @hnyclover @kalulakunundrum @historygeekqueen @i-am-infinite @acourtofbatboydreams @bubybubsters @thisblogisaboutabook @mybestfriendmademe @caroline-books @justvibbinghere @bxm-1012 @justdreamstars

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel shadowsinger #acotar

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fappinreborn · 3 months

Note

Hiya, new anon here. Really love your preggo control app fics. I’ve an idea for one if you’re interested…

Using the app to mess around with a heavily pregnant work colleague/boss (either someone they like / dislike, depending on what vibe you want to go for). Starting and stopping the labor throughout the day, accelerating and pausing it at inconvenient moments. The mother-to-be struggling through her hectic day of board meetings, interviews, client calls, trying not to push and give birth in her clothes in front of all these people (but she does)

Pregnancy Control Part 4: Workaholic

After the date that turned into a car birth, the girl hasn't talked to me yet. I had a feeling that she may have rejected me, but since the answer is still uncertain, I needed a distraction. Luckily, I know someone perfect for my next target.

I was browsing social media, saw a group photo of my old team on my feed, and noticed that my ex-boss's pregnant. She had always been a pain in a butt, micromanaging the team and myself, so I took it upon myself for a fun revenge.

I drove on the weekdays to my old office and the phone pinged me about my boss's status: Name: Clarisse

Pregnancy: 35 weeks, 3 days

Labor: Not yet (First contraction in 34 days, 2 hours, 10 minutes )

Babies: 1 (projected to be 7.5lbs)

Current Activity: Work

Birth plan: Hospital

I linked her up and began to work. As usual, first order of business is to bump her pregnancy to overdue and increasing the baby's size to 10lbs. She's not aware of the changes yet so next, I... entranced? suggested?... hypnotized her to focus on the work and ignore the birthing signs.

With the setting ready, I kicked off her labor... and went straight to the birthing process. She now feel the full brunt of the birthing pain and her own baby's coming down. But she's a trooper and pressed on, working to get calls and potential new clients.

I nudged a bit more and the baby's crowning now into her workpants. A bulge's forming between her legs and getting more visible as her body's pushing. As the head reached fully crowning, I finally paused her birth so she can "enjoy" that burning ring of fire.

This went on for a couple hours until she got a meeting with her superiors, the Board of Directors. Other people was noticing her... tiredness, but she brushed it off. The meeting was long and arduous and when it's time for her to speak, I set her to stand and present with the contraction picking up speed and slowly undo the hypnosis...

Soon enough, she broke free and screamed in front of the directors as the baby's head popped out, panicking as the baby's making a massive bulge between her legs. Before anyone's able to help her out, I made sure that the baby came out into her pant leg so that she fully birthed her baby into her pants.

I was... satisfied with the fun revenge, though I doubt she'll get fired over this.

Anyway, I came a lot and then got a ping from the control app, notifying me that a new feature has been added. I blinked a lot as I did not believe such a feature is possible, but the app has never been wrong so far.

The pregnancy control app is satisfied with the births and has awarded me the ability to give the pregnancy... to myself.

"This... this is gonna be fun." I said.

#birth kink #giving birth #labor kink #birth denial #panty birth #clothing birth #public birth #clothed birth #rapid pregnancy

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hiraeth-ink · 7 months

Text

Could I Be Yours (a Joel Miller fic) Part 3

Pairing - Joel x Married Female Reader

Series Summary - You’ve been married for two years now to your long term man Marcus, but with your dwindling sex life and your marriage on the rocks, you came to an agreement. You're allowed to sleep with other men. The only rules? 1- You have to tell your husband about it. 2- No staying the night, you always leave after sex. And lastly, rule number 3, you can’t sleep with the same man more than once. These rules are in place to avoid feelings blooming, but what happens when you meet Joel, and end up breaking all of the rules? Will it break your marriage too? If faced with a choice between Joel Miller and your husband, who would you choose?

Read part 1 and part 2

Chapter summary - With your feelings for Joel making themselves known you try and make a decision regarding your marriage.

Warnings - infidelity, smut, protected + unprotected piv, oral sex (fem receiving), tiny bit of angst, Joel being a menace, Joel being vulnerable, angry Marcus.

Word Count - 7k+

a/n - Tysm for the continued love and support for this series! So so grateful

Your phone pings with a text notification exactly twenty four hours after you left Joel’s house, exactly twenty four hours after you ran away. You didn’t read it straight away, you couldn’t face what you imagined to be a rejection. So, you turned your phone over so the screen was out of view and busied yourself with a deep clean of the house, you changed bed sheets, cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen, hoovered and mopped the floors but you still saw his face when you blinked, his dark eyes engraved into your eyelids. You showered, washed your hair and aggressively cleaned your body, but you still felt Joel’s trail of lingering kisses burning your skin. Unable to uselessly distract yourself any longer, you picked up your phone and opened the text message from Joel.

Everything ok, sweetheart? You kinda rushed off on me. Call me :)

Reading the text, you struggled to gather your thoughts and make sense of your feelings. It wasn’t a rejection, a hey i don't think we should see eachother anymore text, but it didn’t give you any answers either. He seemed so nonchalant, so blase, as if you hadn’t opened up to him about your feelings at all, as if he hadn't completely and utterly confused you.

Unsure of what to respond, you decide against responding all together, for now, at least. You didn’t feel as though you could call him, you couldn’t even decide on words to send him in a text, there was no way your brain would be able to conjure up a response in real time over the phone. So, you put your phone down again and got through the rest of your weekend, trying not to think about him.

Nothing had changed between you and Marcus, not that you expected it to, you lived like roommates, as if you shared this house and nothing more. He came home late on Saturday night and was out of the house before you woke up on Sunday morning, not even giving you a chance to ask where he was going, although you weren’t sure you would, given the chance.

Monday came and went, with little to no interaction with Marcus, piles of work that you had to get done and a missed call from Joel. You didn’t see the call until an hour later and were too swamped to call back, so you left it. That night after work, you contemplated calling him back, Marcus wasn’t home so you didn't have to worry about him hearing, but you were at a loss for words. You had no idea what to say to Joel, but worse than your lack of words were your nerves. You were nervous as to what his words would be, so you didn’t call.

The next day at work was quieter, you didn’t have to eat your lunch at your desk while you worked so you went for a walk on your lunch break, sitting in the park not far from the office with your lunch. As you sat down, you felt your phone vibrating and, fishing it out of your back pocket, read Joel’s name in bold font across your phone screen. Staring at the writing for a few seconds and taking a deep breath, you answered the phone, unable to avoid him any longer. You held the phone up to your ear and watched a bird fly out of a hole in a tree, internally wondering if it was fleeing the nest, like you wanted to and spoke a quiet, “Hi.”

“Hey, sweetheart,” his gruff voice sent shivers down your back, “what's goin’ on, are you ok?”

“I’m ok,” you sigh, mentally kicking yourself for your inability to just let it out, and pause before continuing, “are you?”

“Yeah, I’m just at work,” there was a brief pause, a beat of silence where you both held your phones to your ears, thinking of the right words to say. “Listen, when we were talking that night, I panicked… I kinda froze, I guess.” His voice was apologetic, his normally confident speech was broken into parts by breaks and pauses, stutters and stammers, as if he had thought of what to say beforehand but had more words on his mind. “I shoulda’ said more, I just got nervous,” you heard him take a sip of a drink before continuing, “it’s been years since I’ve felt anything for anyone and…. It's a little weird feelin’ this way for a married woman,” he released a small chuckle at his words, “but I’d be an idiot not to see what happens.”

“I…. Joel I don’t really know what to say,” you answered truthfully, you wished that words would come to your mind, any words other than the ones you spoke, but none did. You were so taken aback by his speech that nothing was coming out of your mouth. Luckily, Joel filled the silence.

“Sarah’s stayin’ at a friends again on Friday. Do ya’ wanna come over?” He asked before quickly adding, “I’ll cook.” As if you needed any more convincing.

“I’d love to,” you said, your smile steadily widening as you spoke.

“And bring some clothes to sleep in this time,” he added, and although his voice was as deep and gruff as ever, you swore you could hear his smile.

“I’d rather wear your clothes to sleep, honestly,” you retorted before saying your goodbyes, with Joel promising to check in with you in a couple days.

After the conversation, Joel was feeling better. His thoughts were still clouded by you, but they were no longer negative. He no longer worried he’d ruined everything by shutting down that night, but his worries were persistent when it came to his feelings. It had been so long since he had felt anything other than lust for a woman, so long since he had wanted to cater to a woman, so long since the word relationship had crossed his mind. This was terrifying for Joel already, but factoring in the fact that you were married to another man made it so much worse. He knew you were unhappy with your husband but he didn't know your plans, he didn't know what you saw for yourself in the future. He didn’t know if you would leave your husband or stay married to him. Worst of all, he didn’t know if you thought about him, the way he thought about you. Joel could no longer ignore the rush he experienced when you were around. The dam inside him had broken and although vulnerability did not come easily to him, he was willing to be vulnerable for you, willing to be open for you. He was ready to expose his heart to you, rip it out of his chest and hold it up to you to show the speed at which it beat when you were around him. He needed to know that you felt the same. That you had to remind yourself to breathe when you saw him, just like he had to do when you looked his way. He needed to know if your heartbeat quickened when you saw him, if it synced with his when you caught eyes.

Joel had never known a woman like you, a woman so strong, intelligent, funny and witty. Joel had never had sex as good as he did with you and Joel had never felt such a wordless connection. He felt the connection immediately, when he looked around the bar that night and found you already looking at him, he felt compelled to approach you. He felt confident under your gaze, just like he felt dizzy underneath your touch, enchanted beneath your spell.

Joel cringed when his mind circled back to the conversation that was had in his bed, his nervous, thoughtless reaction that caused you to leave so quickly the next morning. Watching you leave like that, almost sprinting out of the house, had him reeling, searching his memories for something that would have caused it. He didn't have to backtrack for long, his short answer and haste kiss on the cheek was now engraved into his brain, his own voice taunting him whenever his mind was quiet. It had been so long since he felt this way that his first reaction was to sabotage himself, but he didn't want to do that anymore, he didn’t want to stand in his own way when he could have you.

After a good day at work on Thursday, you ran into a slight problem after arriving home. You had been relying on Marcus going to his weekly guys night on Friday, so you wouldn’t have to lie about your whereabouts. So, your surprise was evident when he’d asked, almost immediately after you’d walked through the door, “How about we have a night in tomorrow? Just the two of us.”

“I thought you were going to your guys night again?” The first half of your answer was genuine, at least, “I made plans with Carrie for tomorrow,” you lied through your teeth, “think we’re gonna’ have a pamper, self care sort of night. I’m sorry.” Although you really didn’t feel sorry at all. Was he really trying now? Trying to spend more time with you, trying to pay more attention to you again? As soon as you stopped showing signs of sadness at his lack of attention, love and time spent on you, he tried to suck you back in, but when you were upset and trying your hardest to make the marriage work, he was nowhere to be found.

“Guess I’ll go see the guys, then,” he huffed loudly, like a child unable to get their own way, and headed for the stairs. Halfway through the living room, he turned around, pointed towards the bouquet that Joel bought for you, and asked, “By the way, who got you those flowers?”. And fuck, you had completely forgotton that you decided to deal with the flowers later, not realising then that later would be almost a week later, with Marcus shooting daggers at you from across the room.

“Oh… I got them,” you began your lie, “for myself. Saw the florist after work on Friday and, I haven’t had flowers in the house in a while so,” you felt yourself starting to ramble so you cut yourself off with a shrug, your heart beating in your ears as you watched him walk away once again.

That night, when you went to bed, the door to the guest bedroom was closed, and you could see a sliver of light underneath the door. Walking into your bedroom, the bed was empty and completely untouched, confirming your suspicions that Marcus had decided to sleep in the spare bedroom. Months ago, this distance would have clutched tightly at your heart like a fist, your eyes would have welled with tears and you would feel only despair for the end of your marriage. But looking at the empty bed, there were no tears, only a dull ache at the thought of the last 12 years spent with Marcus. A dull ache that solidified that you no longer loved him, a dull ache that announced to you that maybe you were ready to leave him. A dull ache that symbolised your decision finally being made.

Going to sleep that night, you decided that you would talk to Marcus about a divorce as soon as you could, that you would look for your own home to move into, one that wasn’t already filled with your own memories, one that hadn't housed you in your unhappiness for so long. For the first time, you slept soundly that night, and awoke excited at the prospect of being alone, of building and focusing on your own life, rather than building your life around someone else’s.

In a shockingly good mood all throughout Friday, you weren’t surprised that you hadn’t seen Marcus all day, but you figured you would be able to talk to him about going your separate ways later on in the weekend, and instead, focused your efforts and excitement on getting ready to go to Joel’s. Opting for a comfortable outfit of denim shorts and a strappy tank top, you headed to Joel’s, nervous excitement brimming inside you. Parking in his driveway and knocking on his door had your heart almost slamming out of your chest, you thought of the last time you had been here, the way you had wanted to leave as quickly as possible. Faced with the prospect of seeing him again, being in his space, you couldn’t wait to walk through the door.

“Well don’t you look cute,” he smiled as he opened the door, moving to the side, gesturing for you to walk past him and inside the house. Taking a second to take him in, you noticed that his hair was wet, slicked back tidily at the front, but his curls were slowly forming at the back of his head, where his hair was drying quicker. He looked so handsome like this, you loved his hair when it was curly and unruly, but like this, you could see his whole face, completely unobstructed and fuck, he was beautiful.

“You look so handsome,” you said, still taking in his appearance, “did you just get out of the shower?” He wore grey sweatpants and a black, short sleeved t-shirt that was once again, impossibly tight around his shoulders and biceps. His big, broad frame would make any shirt look tight on him, as if it were fighting not to break, not to unravel under the pressure.

“Yeah, I did,” he answered while leading you into the living room, where the tv was playing something you couldn’t quite make out, “shame you missed it.” You were worried that you wouldn’t be able to escape the air of awkwardness, worried that the ending of your last meeting would dull the start of this one, but hearing his words and seeing his smirk reassured you that there would be no such thing.

“There’s always time for that,” you laughed as you sat on the sofa beside him and he quickly placed his arm on the back of the couch, allowing you to sink into him. “I was promised food,” you gave him a pointed look as you spoke, “what are you cooking?”

“About that,” he looked at you sheepishly and paused, a small smile on his face, “the more I thought about what to cook, the more nervous I got so I thought we could just order somethin’.” Your grin widened at his abashed expression, finding his words absolutely adorable, and leaned into kiss him, mumbling against his mouth that you had been craving pizza anyway. Joel hummed in approval against your mouth, leaned into the kiss before pulling away to get up and ordering the pizza. He rolled his eyes when you asked for a hawaiian, but relayed the order over the phone with no complaints.

“Said it’d be around 45 minutes, s’ a busy night,” he held your chin gently with his thumb and forefinger, turned your head to face him and softly slotted his lips with yours. His plump lips moved with yours in an easy, almost lazy rhythm as he opened your legs and moved to settle between them, allowing you to feel his already hard length. You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him deeper into your embrace as he licked deeper into your mouth, you were so close, but you wanted more, you wanted him as close as possible.

“Joel,” you gasped as he started grinding his length into you, the denim of your shorts adding to the friction. His lips moved down to your neck, trailing kisses down your neck to your chest, pulling you top down to expose your breasts before landing his lips on your nipple, lapping his tongue around it and sucking it into his mouth as your breathing picked up, small gasps and whimpers being released from your mouth. “Joel please,” you looked down at him as he moved on to your other breast and repeated the actions, “touch me,” you begged.

“I am touching you, sweetheart,” you whined at his cocky response and moved your hips, grinding upwards to add friction where you needed it most. Joel looked at where you were desperately moving your hips and let out a chuckle, a chuckle that made you feel small and almost pathetic, but also made you all the more wet and needy for him. His hand trailed down your body, from your breast to the top of your denim shorts, dipping beneath the hem and circling your skin with a featherlight touch. “You want me down here, baby?” He asked as he undid the button of your shorts and started pushing them down, you instinctively lifted your hips so he could pull your shorts down completely, leaving you in your underwear, with your hard nipples exposed to Joel’s hungry gaze. Lifting your legs so that your thighs rested against your front, Joel directed your hands to the backs of your thighs and instructed, “Hold em’ right here f’me, baby,” before kneeling on the floor, positioning himself so that his face was level with your clothed pussy. Joel growled as he looked at the wet spot rapidly growing on your underwear, and you watched him with wide eyes as he ran his nose down your seam, from your clit to your hole and back up again and, to your complete surprise, unabashedly inhaling your scent. Your hands moved from holding your legs to holding your face, covering it in embarrassment, but Joel would let you do no such thing. He grabbed your elbows from his position below you and pulled them down. He moved your underwear to the side, licked a stripe up your pussy.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said before harshly sucking your clit into his mouth and stopping to speak again, “I love everything about this pussy, baby. The taste, the smell,” he said in a low growl, before beginning his attack on your centre. He alternated between licking and slurping passionately at your clit, wrapping his lips around it and sucking it into his mouth, and pushing his tongue inside you. You couldn’t keep your moans to yourself, your body was reacting to his touches loudly and openly, your moans loud and high pitched, while your legs shook every time Joel’s mouth wrapped around your clit.

“Joel,” you gasped, your voice shaky as your eyes fluttered shut, unable to keep them open as Joel continued his merciless attack. Your breath hitched and your eyes shot open when you felt a finger prodding at your entrance, before thrusting in and out of you at a fast pace. “Joel, please,” you said, louder this time, “I wanna come, Joel, please,” you continued in an unstable voice as you looked down at him. Joel didn’t answer with words, but with growls and groans of his own as he tasted you. His fingers curled at that spot guaranteed to make you scream, and his hand moved to your lower stomach, sprawled out adding pressure. You were hurtling towards your release, and recognised a feeling only Joel had pulled out of you before. “Joel stop I’m gonna make a mess,” you spoke quickly, the words coming out jumbled together as your breath quickened drastically.

“I want you to make a mess of my face, baby,” Joel said quickly before reattaching his mouth to you, pushing you further towards release, before speaking again, “give me what I want.”

His words made you give in immediately, no longer caring about making a mess, you gave in to Joel’s movements, your whines becoming more and more high pitched as he continued his movements. You couldn’t speak, only let out incoherent whines and pleas, before your mouth opened in a silent scream, the only sound leaving you was that of your breath hitching and the squelch of the wetness between your legs as it gushed out of you. Joel muttered, “good girl,” as you came down, your breath violently being pushed out of you as you watched him rise from his knees, the bottom half of his face soaked with your juices, as was his forearm. You bit your lip at the evidence of your orgasm that covered him, leaving a shine on his skin.

“I need you inside,” you whispered as he hovered above you, overcome with desire to be full of him. He quickly put on a condom and returned to his position.

“You’re so beautiful,” he muttered as he kissed your temple and leaned back to line himself up with your entrance. “Love watching you come for me,” he said as he pushed the tip inside, the last word of the sentence trailing off into a low groan as he felt your warmth enveloping him.

He pushed inside slowly, allowing you to adjust to his size, before wrapping his arms around your thighs and lifting them up, your feet in the air next to his head, leaving only your shoulders and upper back on the sofa. When he was happy with the position, he started thrusting all the way in and out of you quickly as he held you still by your legs, until the sound of your skin slapping could be heard throughout the room. A moan was forced out of your mouth with each thrust, your throat opening up to release a breath each time Joel filled you to the brim, he fucked you hard and fast while he let out grunts and groans of his own, inbetween strings of praise.

“This pussy feels so fuckin’ good,” he exhaled, and while his voice showed signs of fatigue, his body showed no signs of slowing down as he placed your back flat on the sofa and pushed your legs down so that your thighs rested against your stomach once again. This time, he didn’t instruct you to hold them, but held them down himself as he fucked you. The change in angle allowed him to push inside and reach deeper than before, knocking the wind out of you as he brushed the spot only he could reach. He watched as your eyes rolled back and fluttered closed, your mouth opening to let out loud whimpers and whines at how deep you felt him, and he whispered, “that’s it, baby,” before slowing down slightly, allowing you to feel every inch of him grinding into you. “This pussy takes me so fuckin’ good, you’re such a good girl.”

“So deep,” you replied breathlessly, his praise making your head spin. Joel’s hand suddenly settles at your neck, only applying slight pressure, pressure that, mixed with the fullness his cock gave, made you gasp in pleasure.

“I know it’s deep but you can take it, right?” he asked and you nodded your head erratically, as best as you could with his hand around your neck. “That’s right, my good girl takes it all.” You involuntarily clenched around him at his words, his smirk returning to his lips as he felt the effect that he had on you. “Touch your pretty little clit f’me,” he ordered, his voice breathy but still dominant, “make yourself come on my cock.”

You moved your hand down towards your centre and felt where your bodies met, where he was stretching you out like no one had done before, and surely like no one ever would again. Moving your fingers upwards towards your clit, you moved your fingers in tight, steady circles in an effort to make yourself come, wanting to do everything he asked of you, if it meant hearing even a morsel more of his praise. Your moans grew louder as you grew closer with each grind of Joel’s hips and each flick of your fingers. Between whines and gasps you tried to speak, “Joel, fuck, I’m gonna’,” but the words came out jumbled and broken, “Oh my God, you’re gonna make me,” you broke off in a high pitched moan, the noise accompanied by the squelching sound of your wetness gushing out of you as Joel kept thrusting hard, and he didn’t stop until he emptied into the condom with a low grunt and an extended fuuuuck.

Catching your breath, you watched as Joel ran to grab a cloth, still completely naked, and returned to gently clean you up. He put his boxers and sweats back on, but threw his shirt towards you, grumbling about how that would be comfier than, “those tight ass shorts,” before going to the kitchen. While he was gone, you got up to put your underwear back on and slipped his shirt over your head, feeling comfy and safe, enveloped in his clothes that still held his scent. Joel came back with a glass of water in his hand, “Just realised I didn’t even offer you a drink when you came in,” he placed the glass in your hand before sitting next to you and pulling you close.

“Your southern hospitality’s awful,” you giggled, “fucking me without even asking if I was thirsty?”

Joel opened his mouth to answer but was soon stopped by the doorbell ringing. “‘S probably the pizza,” he mumbled as he got up and walked to the door, paying the man and grabbing the pizza boxes in his hands before turning around and kicking the door closed. He settled next to you on the sofa again, placing the pizzas on the table and opening them up.

The tv was on, but you were hardly paying attention to what was playing, some re-run of an old show with an obnoxiously loud laughing track, you preferred to listen to Joel tell you about his week. He told you about his brother's mistakes that angered him to no end and the shock of his daughter asking him if he was seeing anyone.

“She asked you that?” He nodded at your question as he took a huge chunk out of his slice of pizza, chewing obnoxiously.

“Yeah,” he said, “she’s a little suspicious, I think Tommy might’ve mentioned something.”

“You talk to Tommy about me or something?” You asked teasingly, sitting back on the sofa and huffing at how full you felt.

He threw his last crust onto the pizza box, chewing his last bite before answering, “Had to explain why I kept checkin’ my phone somehow.” He sent you a wink as he spoke, smiling at you as you yawned and quickly tried to cover your mouth with your hand.

“You tired?”

“No,” you said sheepishly.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed,” he held your hand and began tugging you up off the sofa.

“I don’t want to sleep yet,” you whined, not wanting the night to end so quickly.

“We can just relax in bed for a while, baby,” he tugged you towards the stairs, gesturing for you to walk up first. He gave your ass a couple light slaps as you walked up, earning giggles from you. You brushed your teeth side by side, stealing glances at each other in the mirror and Joel left for the bedroom while you used the toilet.

Crawling into bed beside Joel, you inched closer towards him and found comfort in his outstretched arms. You lay facing each other, one of his arms resting underneath your body, allowing you to be as close as you could. He held you with a gentle grip, his big hands were outstretched, one spread across your back underneath his shirt and the other rested on your bicep. His hands were momentarily still, allowing you to feel the warmth of his hands, the heat being transferred from Joel’s body to yours through his soft touch. He continued to look at you as he started moving his hands, his fingers gently moving along your skin, as though he was connecting constellations in the stars. Your eyes followed his fingers carefully, your eyes traced their every move, just as the tips of his fingers traced every curve of your body, every bump or scar on your skin. And under the trace of his fingers, under the gaze of his eyes you felt truly seen. Has anybody seen you the way he saw you then? His gaze was heavy, his stare intense, but you didn’t shy away from his eyes, you didn’t flinch from his featherlight touch, you returned his stare and you returned his caress. Your fingers started moving along the skin of his arms, along the lines in his face, as if off their own accord. You subjected him to the same heavy, all consuming gaze as you looked into his eyes. You subjected him to the same featherlight, earnest touch as you ran your hands down his back, his sides, his arms, his face, anywhere you could reach. Because in that moment you saw him and he saw you.

You moved your hand up to Joel’s now dishevelled hair and ran your hand through it but Joel was quick to stop your endeavour. He grasped your wrist in his hand and turned it around, so that your palm was facing you. You watched as he looked at your hand with a furrowed brow. You couldn’t understand why your hand had captivated him so intensely until his other hand came up to join yours in front of his face, and he traced your wedding band with his thumb.You opened your mouth to speak but no words left your throat, and Joel’s words lingered in the air instead.

“Take the ring off.” He was now looking at you rather than at your ring, his eyes bored into yours as a shocked expression overtook your features. “Please,” he added, almost desperately, his voice nothing more than a whimper. “Just for tonight, I wanna’ pretend you're not his, that you’re mine.”

His confession almost broke you. You had struggled while coming to grips with your feelings but hadn’t thought about how Joel must feel, seeing a married woman, sleeping with a married woman, knowing that she was going home to her husband eventually. You carefully slid your wedding ring off your finger and moved from the bed to place it in your bag. When you climbed back into bed, you placed your left hand, now lacking your wedding ring, onto his cheek and, looking into his eyes, told Joel what you wished was true, “I’m yours, Joel.”

Joel’s lips met yours in a tender kiss, and when they departed, Joel spoke into your mouth, “I’m yours too,” his words left his lips, travelled down your throat and into your body, and devastated you from the inside out, “I’ll still be yours when you go back to him.”

You couldn’t speak, no helpful words came to your mind as you looked into Joel’s eyes. They looked into yours with a sad longing, one that you were sure was reflected in your own eyes. Unable to conjure up the words, you put your lips to his and kissed him deeply, pushing all the words you couldn't say into his mouth, willing him to understand you through your touch. His palm came to rest at the back of your neck, softly keeping you in place as he kissed you back, his tongue licking into your mouth as his other hand went to your lower back and pulled you closer towards him until your front was flush with his. His mouth left yours and placed kisses down your neck while his hands went to the ends of the shirt you were wearing, pulling it up and over your head. You did the same to him, wanting to feel his skin on yours, with nothing between your bodies.

He went to position himself further down the bed, further down your body and slowly spread your legs, but the sudden feeling of emptiness that dominated you made your arms lower to his, and your hands pulled at him to bring his face to yours again. The emptiness could be felt throughout your body, and you knew it would only be satisfied by Joel filling you up. “I just want you inside,” you whispered when his face was level with yours again.

“At least let me open you up first,” he said with furrowed brows, not wanting to hurt you, but pain was the last thing on your mind at that moment. You just wanted him. You wanted to feel him everywhere.

“Please,” you asked, “I need it.” He said nothing in response, only reached over your body to get into the bedside drawer, pulling out a condom. Your disappointment was evident in your face, and you let out a quiet, “no,” that was barely above a whisper. He turned his head to look at you and raised an eyebrow.

“I want to feel you, Joel,” you said, your voice still quiet, “all of you.” Suddenly worried about his response, you added, “I’m clean, I got checked last time I was at the gynaecologist.” You took a deep breath before continuing. “I haven’t been with… him since then.” Your voice was timid and nervous, unsure how to explain that it had been weeks, months even, since you had slept with your husband. You were anxious to bring him up in such a conversation, unable to say his name, you knew he would know exactly who you were talking about.

He grimaced at your words, at the mention of your husband, but quickly hid his distaste, “I got tested after the last person I slept with, I’m clean too” his soft voice matched your quiet words as he placed the condom back in the drawer and pulled you close again. “Are you sure?” he asked, his eyes searching yours for any aversion, any discomfort, but only found a pleading want as you nodded your head and whispered a yes.

He positioned himself in between your legs and kissed you softly while running his fingers through your folds, gathering your wetness onto his hand, circling your clit teasingly once, and spreading your juices onto his cock. His lips didn’t leave yours as he positioned his tip at your entrance and pushed himself inside you, moving inch by inch, creating a delicious burn as he stretched you out and filled you to the brim.

“You feel so fuckin’ good, sweetheart,”

You wrapped your legs around him in an attempt to pull him closer, although it felt impossible. He stayed fully seated inside of you, completely enveloped by your warmth as you both let out gasps and groans at the feeling. When Joel started moving, it was a slow, steady grind. Barely a movement, but enough to cause a delicious friction for both of you. You let out high pitched gasps of his name and he released grunts of yours. Your back arched as his tip kissed that spot so deep inside of you and his arms moved smoothly under your body, wrapping around you and holding you tight. You wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers running through his hair and pulling as he pushed heavy breaths out of your lungs.

In a messy, close tangling of limbs that was both greedy and unhurried, needy but not rushed, you felt him deep inside of you. You felt his whole length inside of you as he ground further into you, barely leaving the warmth of your cunt, only wanting to feel close to you, not wanting the separation that came with a full thrust.

“Joel,” you gasped, “Joel, please,” your mouth started to babble, the words involuntarily leaving you as he grunted in your ear, the sounds only heightening your wetness, your pussy clenching around his cock each time you heard him.

“What is it, sweetheart?” He asked with a hard grind of his hips, pushing impossibly deeper inside.

“I want you to fill me up, Joel,” you begged, your voice cracking with need.

“You’re already full o’me, baby,” he chuckled into your ear, taking your earlobe in between his teeth, licking and nibbling while continuing the rhythmic grind of his hips.

“No, Joel,” you were cut off by a loud moan leaving your throat as his hand slipped between your bodies to your clit, his fingers moving in tight, unfaltering circles to match the press of his hips. “I want you to come inside me.”

Joel groaned loudly as soon as the words reached his ears, gasping your name in equal parts shock and contentment. He pulled his head back to look into your eyes, his eyebrows raised in a wordless question.

“I have an IUD,” you said while pressing your hands into his lower back, wanting him, needing him deeper. His fingers moved quicker on your clit as he groaned at your admission, his hips faltering slightly.

“Such a fuckin’ good girl for me,” he grunted out, “lettin’ me stuff you full.” You moaned at his words and clamped down around his cock. The steady grind of his hips had now faltered and he was thrusting in and out of you slowly, but he was just as deep as before. This change in movement caused his tip to brush that spot over and over, in a quick procession. This, mixed with his words and grunts in your ear and his finger running firm circles on your clit made you come completely unannounced. It hit you like a wall and there was nothing you could say, you came with your mouth open in a silent scream, your walls clamped around his cock and fluttered gratefully. Your chest moved up and down with heavy breaths as Joel continued to fuck into you, pushing so deep inside and moaning your praise.

“That’s my good girl, fuck,” his grunts were becoming louder, deeper as he hurtled toward his orgasm, his hips stammering the closer he got. “Tell me you’re mine,” he said, his voice a mix between a plea and a command. “Fuckin tell me you’re mine,” he repeated, louder than before.

“I’m yours, Joel,” you said through moans, he was fucking you hard and deep, messy and hurried. “I’m yours,” you repeated once more before pleading, “come inside me, Joel.”

He let out a low growl at your words, and pushed himself deep, so that he was fully seated inside you, and let go, coming inside of you before pulling out to watch his spend trickle out of you, pushing it back in with his fingers before it could go far.

Exhausted, you lay down and closed your eyes, feeling the absence of his presence for a moment, until he returned to clean you up and got into bed beside you. You had read and read but never understood the feeling expressed in Jane Eyre of feeling so close to a lover, of being bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh. You had certainly never felt that close to Marcus. But in that moment, lying there with Joel, with your wedding ring thrown to the side and forgotten, your skin connected to his, your legs tangled together, as if you had tied yourselves to one another in an effort to keep each other near, you felt it, you understood.

The last thing you remembered before falling completely asleep was Joel placing a soft kiss on your temple.

You woke to an empty bed the next morning, the sheets crumpled and still warm to the touch on Joel’s side. Getting out of bed, you put on Joel’s shirt again and brushed your teeth in the bathroom before walking towards the stairs. At the top of the stairs you were met with the sight of Joel walking up, with a cup of coffee in each hand.

“Go back to bed,” his soft command was met with a look of confusion from you. “My plan was to wake you up with coffee in bed,” he explained, “so go back to bed.” You giggled at his thoughtfulness and upon hearing Joel’s quiet, “please,” turned around and walked back to the bedroom, settling into bed once more. You listened to the patter of his footsteps up the stairs and towards the room and the sexy gruff of his voice wishing you a “Mornin’, darlin’,” as he walked in, as if he hadn’t already seen you that morning.

He placed a cup of coffee in your outstretched hands and sat in bed beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and kissing your forehead.

“Thank you, Joel,” you whispered, smiling up at him, leaning up and pressing your lips against his. Last night was still at the forefront of your mind and you were overcome with emotions you couldn’t quite explain.

“Listen,” Joel began, “I meant what I said last night,” his words came at exactly the right time.

“I want you,” he explained, “and not just like this, I want all of you. But I need to know what your plans are, I need to know I’m not getting invested for nothing.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “You might be mine for now but when you go home to him, I still belong to you. So I just, I need to know.”

“I’m not staying with him Joel. It’s just, it's a big thing, a long process.” You wished you could give him more reassurance, but you weren’t sure what you could say that would put his mind at ease. You looked into his eyes and said, “I want you, not him.”

Joel’s hand came up to your cheek, lightly stroking the skin next to your ear with his thumb, “I don't want to put pressure on you, I just need to know that this is going somewhere.”

“It is,” you promised, “I’ll talk to him.” You pressed a kiss to his lips, as if you were sealing a promise, and felt nothing but happiness and safety.

The rest of the morning passed in pure domestic bliss, Joel cooked breakfast and you both drank another coffee while you talked over the show that was on tv. When it was time for you to leave, you reluctantly got dressed and gathered your things and climbed into the car, rolling the window down. Joel stood next to the window and leaned in to kiss you goodbye. Unable to leave yet, the goodbye kiss turned into an I don’t want to go kiss, full of uncertainty and words you wanted to say but couldn’t quite articulate. Pulling away you settled on a meek, “bye,” while Joel promised to call you soon. Joel watched and waved as you reversed out of his driveway and drove away, both of your minds full of possibilities for the future.

Your drive home was uneventful. You felt positive and excited, you were finally clear on your plans. You knew that you had to speak to Marcus about your marriage, suggest a separation and request a divorce and although you knew this would be difficult, your happiness was worth it, with or without Joel in the picture. You expected to arrive back to an empty house, like you normally did. What you didn’t expect to see was Marcus sitting at the dining table, facing the door, as if he was waiting for your return.

With shock evident in your voice, you let out a weak, “Hi,” but upon noticing the expression on his face you added, “are you ok, Marcus?” He looked disappointed, his hand held the bottom of his face and his brows were furrowed together.

“Where were you last night?” His question threw you off, and you scrambled to answer.

“I was at Carrie-”

“I know you weren’t at Carrie’s so I’ll ask one more time,” his voice was raised and firm, “where were you last night?” He spoke slowly, the anger he felt slowing down his speech. You knew then that the expression on his face wasn’t disappointment, it was anger, fury. You felt frozen on the spot, your mouth sewed shut with shock, you didn’t move or speak, only looked down at your feet, nervously bringing your hands together and fiddling with your thumbs.

Your heart jumped at the next words from Marcus, his booming voice only adding to the thumping acceleration of your heart.

“Why aren’t you wearing your ring?”

Thank you so much for reading!! Comments and reblogs are always appreciated :) Part 4 soon

Taglist - @untamedheart81 @smol-beb @harriedandharassed @southernbe

@urfknlame @sheepdogchick3 @csarab615 @janellesbody @anoverwhelmingdin @milly-louise@joeldjarin@mumma-moonchild@faith-alons26

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thisoneblackjacket · 22 days

Text

🎬 NOW IT'S TIME FOR...

Eddie's notes hour!

I just wanted to take a closer look into all of the notes that we see on Eddie's desk within the hidden video + some input/speculation on them

...

1. Starting with the gift list:

I went into it a bit in a previous post, but I think(?) I now have the full list down (w/some help from others from that post) :

Julie - Chimney Cozy

Frank - Bug Catching Net (?)

Wally - Apple

Howdy - Calculator

Poppy - Doilies (still unsure about that one)

Barnaby - Bones (?)

Sally - Mirror

I will say that these gifts seem very fitting for everyone, but between the few questions marks next to some of the gifts, along with Eddie's doubts about Julie's and Frank's gift in the vid:

Sounds like Eddie HIMSELF is unsure if these gifts will work. It has the same vibes as trying to shop for someone that you sort of know the interests of, but not much else

Which sort of amplifies that he isn't the closest to any of the neighbors (seemingly he only gets to interact with them when they need something from him), so this might play more into the theme of Eddie being alienated from the rest of the neighborhood

...

2. Moving on to the grocery list:

Okay so I'm still struggling w/a few words, but I think it goes as follows:

Grocery (I think?)

Envelopes

Pencil

Construction Paper

Paper {Lined} (I think?)

Eggs

Milk

I don't have too much to say here, but it is a bit interesting that Eddie has to buy supplies for his own business from Howdy. I always figured that another reason why Howdy disliked Eddie was because he might have sold his own paper/stationary items at the post office, hence competition, but maybe not

...

3. It's TIC TAC TOE time!! ❌⭕

Now I am not about to begin to try to count how many games he played through that you can see on the screen (you can't make me!)

BUT, given the scoreboard:

Eddie (his left, I'm guessing the ⭕s): 4...?

Eddie (his right, I'm guessing the ❌s): 14

That's at least 18 games by itself, can you imagine how many if you included the draws ?!

Poor Eddie...

But listen - I'll end this post with something that has been scratching at me - Tic Tac Toe as a potential symbol in the story

Now I don't know HOW significant Tic Tac Toe is to WH, but I think it is significant.

Does anyone remember this post back in October, during the Halloween update? The one where OP had put this one tic tac toe game over the map? (go check it out)

I really do think that's a solid lead towards something big, and it was actually one of the first things that popped in my head when thinking back to this.

But even if it turns out it isn't, Tic Tac Toe has been showing up from time to time via drawings/surroundings, which is already enough to at least consider it moving forward

So here, while it makes sense in context as to why Eddie is playing the game a bunch in the video (waiting around for someone to show up with nothing better to do), and all this can honestly be a stretch, but to have him specifically play THAT game, after its been shown to pop up that often...makes me suspicious for sure...

...

Either way, this has been...

Eddie's notes hour!

(seriously, I'm not good at making title names)

#welcome home #eddie dear #welcome home arg #welcome home spoilers #welcome home update #welcome home speculation #analysis

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rubyreduji · 2 years

Text

Office Hours - csc

summary: you show up to professor choi’s office hours looking for help

tags: smut (minors dni!), college!au, professor!seungcheol warnings: explicit unprotected sex, reader calls him sir but in an unsexual way, age gap, cockwarming, praise, daddy kink, choking, fingering, return of seungcheol’s breeding/impregnation kink wc: 2.4k an: some people were asking me to expand on this universe and ngl i kinda love it so i caved haha. also i took one (1) biology class four years ago so i have no fucking clue how college biology works so dont hate me LOL

pt. 1 | pt. 3 | pt. 4

“Professor Choi?” You stick your head into his office after knocking on the door.

The man is sitting at his desk, his eyes closed, muttering to himself. When he hears your voice he opens his eyes and the pinched look on his face relaxes and he smiles tiredly at you.

“Ah baby girl, come in.”

You follow instructions and close the door as you do before going to sit in the faux leather chair across from him. Weariness still shadows Seungcheol’s face and you frown at this. You don’t like when he looks so exhausted, so different from his normal composed persona. “Is everything okay sir?”

“Oh don’t worry about me,” he lets out a small chuckle. “I think I’m just getting old.”

“You can’t be that old sir,” you insist. “You look too good.”

“I’m nearing forty, that is old enough for me. You’re what? Twenty-two?”

“Twenty sir.”

Seungcheol’s eyebrows shoot up at this. “Aish, I am getting old.”

“Age isn’t everything, professor,” you assure him.

“Maybe not, but enough about my old age. You’ve come into my office hours, what can I help you with?”

“I’m struggling with the out of class work you’ve assigned,” you explain. “Specific yesterday’s worksheet, the one about genetics and heredity.”

“Ah yeah. How about you come over here and we can look at it together.” Seungcheol gestures you over to his side of the desk. Daintily you pick up your worksheet and walk over to him. Once you lay the paper down in front of him you’re about to lean down to look at it but Seungcheol’s rough hands grab at your hips and pull you down onto his lap.

“O-oh!”

“That’s better, isn’t it doll?” Seungcheol says huskily in your ear.

“Y-yes daddy,” you respond.

“Good girl. Now let’s look at this homework.” Seungcheol’s arm wraps loosely around your waist, his hand resting on your thigh, while his other arm rests on his desk. He scans the page and then makes a humming noise like he remembers the assignment. His hand massages at your upper thigh as he looks over your work.

You shift a bit in his lap and you feel his dick rub against your ass. He’s already half hard and you whimper.

It’s been almost a week since you and Seungcheol have had sex, which in theory isn’t that long, but when he fucks you on an every other day basis it feels like a lot. On Monday he had a faculty meeting he had to run off to and then yesterday you promised your friends you would go out with them and they chose the time right after your biology class.

You’ve taken to texting Seungcheol though. Rarely is it ever about school work. It’s mostly pictures, whether it’s a picture of you cuddling with your favorite stuffed animal in bed or the brand new lingerie set you bought with your friends. It always keeps Seungcheol on edge when you text him but he’d never tell you to stop. It only fuels his hunger for you.

“How about this baby girl? If you can listen to me explain this and get five questions right, I’ll fuck you. Do we have a deal?”

“Yes daddy.” You nod at the man enthusiastically.

“That’s my good girl. Now listen while I explain this.”

Seungcheol starts to re-explain the whole lesson about carrying genes and mothers and fathers, but all while he does his fingers flit over your crotch and start to play with you. A singular finger trails across the inseam of your shorts before dipping under the hem and touching you over your panties.

You try to focus on what Seungcheol is telling you and you catch maybe every five words but most of your attention is on the way he’s dampening your panties with just a simple tight circular motion. You’re trying your best not to move around in Seungcheol’s lap so he doesn’t have to punish you. You like being good for him.

By the time your professor is finished talking your panties are drenched and the area between your legs is aching. A small high pitched keening noise comes from your throat when Seungcheol removes his fingers from your clit and runs them along your slit.

“So wet for daddy,” he hums. “I hope you were paying attention though because you have your five questions now.”

“Daddy~” you whine. You’re too needy to focus on the paper.

“I see. Hmm, take your shorts and panties off.” You quickly stand and do that, exposing your bare pussy to the room. As you do that, Seungcheol unzips his trousers and yanks his dick out, fisting it a bit to get it up to full mast. “Now sit on my dick and do your homework.”

“Yes daddy!” You quickly clamber onto his lap and you’re already so wet that you’re able to sink down on him with ease. You both groan at the feeling of his thick cock inside your tight walls and Seungcheol thrusts up into you a couple times before stopping.

“Lee Jimin was in here before you for office hours,” Seungcheol starts, “and just seeing him set me off.” Is that why he was so tense before you came in? “He’s a pervert, staring down your shirt and trying to look up your skirt every day in class. I wish I could just fail him.” His hands knead at your bare hips as he talks, distracting you from the worksheet in front of you.

With shaky hands you pick up your pencil and look down at the first question. You read it at least five times trying to understand. Finally you think you understand.

“B-because only the dad is affected, and i-it’s a, a y-linked inh-heritance, only those assigned m-male at b-birth can be affected,” you can barely stutter your words out, too focused on the way Seungcheol’s dick twitches inside of you.

“Good girl,” Seungcheol purs. “I knew you had it in you. Now do the next one.”

You stare at this one for even longer. After a while you feel like you’re about to cry. You still don’t understand and you just want Seungcheol to fuck you because you’re just so needy.

“I, I don’t understand daddy,” you sob.

“That’s okay baby.” Seungcheol’s large hand rubs over your stomach. “Let’s think about this a different way. I have brown eyes, which is a dominant gene, so when I put my babies inside of you, just from me alone, they will most likely have brown eyes. Would you like that doll? Babies that have my eyes?”

“Yes daddy, would like it so much.”

“So let’s look at this problem again, okay?”

You nod and start to fill out the punnett square and answer the question. Your handwriting is sloppier than normal but you don’t care because you know Seungcheol is going to give you an A anyways.

“Doing so good for me baby girl, you have three more.”

The next three questions are hell. They take far too long to figure out and that’s even with help from Cheol. At one point he just blatantly tells you the answer and has you repeat it to him just so he can claim you figured it out. The whole time he keeps referencing his genes in relation to yours and it floods your mind with thoughts of Seungcheol filling you up with his cum. It doesn’t help your focus, but you think Seungcheol knows this.

It takes you nearly thirty minutes to complete the three questions and by then your pussy is aching for Seungcheol. His hand rubs circles into your skin comfortingly, whispering praise to you everytime you answer a question. When you answer the final question Seungcheol’s hand automatically connects to your clit and he starts to rub at your nub.

“What a good girl. You were so good for me finishing your homework. I’m so proud of you, my pretty girl. I’m going to make you feel good now, okay?”

“Thank you daddy.” Pleasure spreads through your body and you lean back against Seungcheol’s body as he wraps his arm around your waist. He presses a kiss into your neck before shifting his hips under you a bit.

“Daddy is going to fuck you now, okay?” You nod and Seungcheol grips your hips tight and starts to pull you up off of him only to drop you back down. Over the time it took you to do your homework your pussy had molded to the shape of Seungcheol’s cock and he’s able to move freely in you, his tip sliding all the way to your cervix.

“Feels so good daddy~”

“God you fit around me so nice baby girl. Your pussy was made for me and nobody else. All mine.” His hands snake up your shirt and he grabs at your tits through your thin bra. You arch your back into his touch as you continue to bounce on his lap. “Heredity is interesting to think about because it can help you theorize about what your future children might look like. If they’ll have my eyes and your hair color. Or your eyes and my hair? Either way, we’re going to have such pretty children, aren’t we baby?”

“Oh yes daddy,” you whine. “Such cute babies.”

“Just like their mommy,” Seungcheol whispers into your ear, his warm breath fanning over your ear and sending goosebumps down your arm. “You like that as much as I do, don’t you, pretty girl? You wanna carry my babies just as much as I want to put them in you? Am I right?”

“So right daddy,” you tell him as you continue to split yourself onto his cock. “I want you to fill me up with your cum.”

“That’s my good girl. Letting me breed her slutty little pussy. Gonna fill your womb up with babies,” Seungcheol says. “Fuck Y/N.” All of a sudden Seungcheol is pulling you off of him. Your wobbly legs land on the floor and Seungcheol is turning you around and pushing you up onto his desk.

He spreads your thighs with his thick hands and sheaths himself back into you. At the new position he hits into you at a different angle and you have to stop yourself from actually drooling at the feeling.

As Seungcheol’s hips buck into you, you stare up at the man and take in his features. His high cheekbones and full cherry lips and prominent nose. To most people his face would look composed and neutral, but you’ve spent enough time with him to tell he’s concentrating. His eye brows are a bit furrowed and his lips are pressed together more than normal. Your eyes trace against his jawline, looking at the way the muscles are a bit clenched, and then trail up to his eyes. When you finally meet his warm eyes with yours you realize he’s been staring right back at you, his eyes narrowed as they stare down his nose at you. When he realizes that you’ve finally made eye contact with him his face shifts as he smirks.

“So pretty for me,” he murmurs.

He reaches his hand out to grip your jaw. His thumb brushes against your bottom lip before he pushes it fully into your mouth. You close your lips around the digit and suck on it as he presses down on your tongue. The feel of the rough pad in your mouth has you clenching down, your hand shooting up to grab Seungcheol’s bicep.

“Shit baby girl, it drives me crazy when you squeeze me like that.” You can tell he’s close by the tenseness in his voice. His thrusts get more pointed as he snaps into you and his grip on you gets tighter. “Fuck. Sometimes I hope that you miss a day of taking your birth control, just so I can get you pregnant. You’d look so sexy with your belly plump and your tits heavy. I’d have no choice but to dote on you and take care of the woman carrying my babies.” Seungcheol pulls his thumb out of your mouth and drags his hand down your chin so he can grab you around the neck.

“‘M so close daddy,” you whimper out. “Please breed me.”

Seungcheol’s cock digs deep into you until he’s painting your insides white with his seed. The feeling of his semen shooting inside of you tips you over the edge and you clench down on Seungcheol, your back arching off his desk and your legs scrambling around to find purchase. Seungcheol’s grip on your throat is the only thing that grounds you as you climax. When you both finally come down from your orgasms you barely get time to catch your breath because Seungcheol is pulling you to sit up so he can press his lips against yours.

Your lips move in sync with his and he holds you tight against his firm body. His hand tangles into your hair while the other presses into the small of your back. Seungcheol tastes like coffee and mints as he licks into your mouth. Your body is still a bit unstable and you tremble as he kisses you lovingly.

When he pulls away you fall into his chest, finally able to catch your breath. “My good good, so beautiful.” As gingerly as he can, Seungcheol pulls out of you. Some of his cum spills out of you as he pulls out and he reaches down to scoop it up and finger it right back into you. You squirm around as his digits breach your entrance but soon he’s pulling them back out again. He presses the tips to your lips and you wrap your mouth around them, cleaning them off.

When he pulls them away you speak. “Thank you daddy. Always makes me feel so good.”

“Of course baby. I love taking care of my pretty girl.” He leans down to kiss your collar bone before he pulls away from you. As always he hands you your clothes back and helps you get dresses before he hands you one of the water bottles he keeps in his office mini fridge just for you.

You’re curled up in Seungcheol’s lap, sipping on the water, when you look up at the time. “Oh! I have to get going daddy. I’ll see you tomorrow!” With that you press a kiss to his cheek and quickly scramble off his lap before you’re out the door.

Your worksheet is forgotten on Seungcheol’s desk but it was ruined from your guys’ escapades anyways, so it didn’t really matter. Seungcheol is just going to give you an A anyways.

As you rush off to go meet your friends you think back to Seungcheol’s words and start to plan what day to stop taking your birth control.

taglist: @pandorashbox @billboard-singer @leejihoonownsmyheart @soonhoonietrash

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wolffwish · 1 year

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More Than Just A Short Time

Warnings: Distressed reader, miscarriage, mentions of anxiety, panic attack, soft!Toto x reader,

A/N: Personal experience used here, so please be understanding. 2022 was the worst year of my life, losing a baby and my fiancé within 3 months of eachother. I’ve been wanting to write something for months, to try and help me cope with my emotions. This hasn’t been spell checked, I literally have finished it and pressed post. So please bear with me if there’s any mistakes or it’s not that great, or sonically cohesive. It’s literally a coping mechanism. I’ve also tried to incorporate Taylor Swift’s “Bigger Than The Whole Sky” as that song has bought me a lot of comfort. Thank you so much for reading and I hope soft Toto brings you comfort if you need it ♥️ my inbox is open to anyone if you need to talk about anything.

It’s been a long 5 days without Toto, and your physical health was declining by the hour. Your period was the heaviest it had ever been, but you didn’t want to tell Toto, because everyone has periods and usually, they’re nothing to worry about.

Toto knew you were struggling physically, and had been the ever-supporting husband that you could’ve dreamed of. Virtually working instead of heading into the office, skipping races and rescheduling meetings or holding them online— to the point where he’d be sitting on the bed with his laptop perched on his lap on Zoom with people at Brackley, with you sleeping next to him and him not taking his hand off of your head once, constantly stroking it to ease your pain.

He was away in Bahrain for first race of the season and it was the longest amount of time he’d been for a few months. You hadn’t been feeling that great in the lead up to him leaving, a bit run down and not your usual self, extremely tired and incredibly nauseous. You just assumed it was your birth control playing up again.

It was Sunday. Race day. You were feeling rough, and after yesterday’s ordeal in the ER followed by a strict instruction for bed rest and preferably someone with you, all you wanted to do was curl up on the couch, watch the race and wait for your man to come home.

You hadn’t been contacting him much over the past 4 days, mainly just good morning and good night texts, as you knew he was going to be flat out busy with media, meetings and all the other stuff that goes with the job he’d worked so hard for.

11am. You heard your phone ping, with his specific text tone and notification lighting up your screen.

💬 1 New Message: Toto🐺♥️ — Liebling, I have a free half hour. Can you talk? We need to talk.

“We need to talk”? You read it three times, making sure you were reading it right. Need? Panic sets in. Usually, when anybody receives a message of “We need to talk.”, ending abruptly with a full stop, that’s never a good sign, right? Right.

Before you could even start typing, he was ringing. Accidentally, you pressed the green answer button, steadily putting the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” - your voice broke as you awaited his response.

🐺 “Schatzi? Is that you?”

“What do you mean, is it me? You rang my mobile?”

🐺 “Oh. Thank god. I had a missed call from the hospital, they left a message asking me how you were after yesterday. I didn’t— what happened yesterday, I didn’t know you wen—“

“Oh my god, are you kidding?! They rang you?”

Anger that started in your stomach was slowly making its way up your body, flushing your red cheeks and making your hands grip the phone tighter. You were checked into the ER yesterday after having what you thought was a 3 day long, heavy and extremely painful period. You had to call the ambulance because you were bleeding so heavily you couldn’t control anything, and started to feel dizzy and weak. With nobody around, and Toto working, you had nobody to call.

🐺 “Come on baby, talk to me. Why did you visit the ER?”

You paused. You didn’t know what to say to him, but neither did you want to lie. You knew as soon as the ER nurse asked if you’d had any morning sickness or previous experiences of dark red heavy periods that this wasn’t just a period. You were having a miscarriage, not even knowing you were pregnant.

🐺 “Liebling? Whatever it is, you can tell me. It doesn’t matter that I’m here, ok? You are my priority, just let me in.”

“I can’t tell you over the phone, Toto. I’m sorry. Just concentrate on the race, and I’ll see you later. I love y—“

🐺 “No Schatzi, baby please, I can’t concentrate unless you tell me what’s going on.”

You knew that he wasn’t going to give in. Tears started filling your eyes and the pit of your stomach started knotting. Emotions got the better of you, your breathing started to get shorter and faster, even though you were trying to disguise every bit of it, so you didn’t make him panic even more. But you just couldn’t do it. You fell apart. You needed him, now more than ever.

“I’m sorry, Toto. I didn’t know. You know I’m on birth control, it was just a heavy period, and then the nurses started asking all these questions about morning sickness and the colour of it and they rigged me up to the machine and started doing all these scans and I was really scared and I didn’t know what to do and then they kept apologising to me and I was in such a state I didn’t know what they were talking about until they— until they said it wasn’t a heavy period, and I’d lost—“

That was it. Uncontrollable tears streamed from your eyes as you relived the worst day of your life all over again, for the millionth time. Hysteria creeping in and your adrenaline winning, you began to shake. You’d been reliving every second of it since you got home, and it took a lot of persuasion for you to the nurses to let you home on your own. But they all knew your situation, they all knew Toto and who he was, so they made an exception. You didn’t think they’d call him.

🐺 “Oh my go—, baby, I’m so sorry. Shit. I should’ve been there, I knew you weren’t right when I left, but I had no idea it could be this—“

“Don’t apologise Toto please, it’s not your fault, I just, I can’t wait to see you later. Please try and just do the race and I’ll be here when you get home.”

🐺 “I don’t care about the race Schatz, baby. I’m coming home now. I’m walking to Rosa right now, she’ll get me on the next flight darling. Hold tight for me, ok?”

You didn’t want to ruin his day like this, especially the first race, but you were done fighting with yourself.

“Ok.” - through tears streaming and sniffles of your nose to try and control your breathing, a simple ‘ok’ was the last thing you said to Toto before dropping the phone on the bed. You’d almost been in denial about the whole thing, and saying it all out loud made it more real. You pulled your legs to your chest, your body still screaming in pain from miscarrying, back pains so intense you feel like your spine is on fire and a headache strong enough to make you squint at any view of light.

You could hear the television in the background, the race build up had started and you began watching it hoping it would distract you from everything that was happening in your head at that very moment.

The grid walk started, and Martin Brundle was desperately searching around for Toto to ask him where he thinks the two Mercs’ we’re going to finish today’s race. He eventually came across Shov, who was ready for an interview.

MB: “I was hoping to talk to your boss, any idea where I can find him?”

AS: “He’s had to rush off, personal matter, so won’t be able to watch the race today, but I can answer any questions you may have - just not with as much Austrian flare as he does!” he tried to laugh and distract from the situation- but you knew social media was about to blow up.

A few hours passed, and the sheer emotional state you were in made you fall asleep at some point during the race. You woke up as the podium ceremony started, that damn Dutch national anthem again. You flicked over the channels and started watching some random nature show about birds. Anything but that damn podium.

Anxiously waiting for Toto to arrive, you kept drifting off to sleep, losing track of the time, until you heard a key in the door and footsteps running up the stairs.

“Schatzi, where are you baby? I’m ho—“

The bedroom door swung open and there he was, still dressed in his white button down shirt and black trousers, so damn handsome. Your man was home.

“Toto, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Tears streaming, you sat up on the bed, trying to adjust your body to a position you weren’t in pain.

“Baby, it’s okay. Come here, little one.” Toto softly sat down in front of you, cupping your face in both hands and softly brushing the tears on your cheeks away with the pad of his thumbs. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.” He brought his lips up to your forehead, pressing the most gentle kiss just above your left eyebrow, muffling the words “Let go baby, I’m here now. Just let it all out.”

The reassuring words from Toto meant every single emotion waved over you like a tsunami, and you fell apart in his arms. The tears came streaming down your face as you leant forward into him. You adjusted your body so you were sitting side aways on his lap, legs resting on the bed and head resting in his shoulder. His arms wrapped around you like he was protecting the world, his gentle touches making you feel safer than you’d ever felt.

“Let’s get you into bed properly, baby, get you more comfortable.” Without hesitation, Toto stood up with you in his arms as he gently walked around the bed, making sure not to walk into any furniture or make any sudden movements. He slowly leant down, to lay you on his side of the bed. He grabbed a blanket, took his shirt and trousers off, walked round to the other side of the bed and got in with you.

“Are you comfortable? Do you need to move?” He asked as you started rolling over as he got into the bed beside you.

“I can’t get comfy, it’s so frustrating, everything hurts and I can’t move without feeling like I’m making a mess everywhere, it’s horrible.”

“Hey hey baby, it’s okay, don’t cry. It doesn’t matter if there’s mess, we can clean it up, okay? Come here, lay here.” He perched himself up on the headboard, his bare chest gleaming in the night light that was the only light on in the room. The smell of him just felt like home. Lightly tapping his torso, he helped you lay your head on his chest, right on his heart. You moved your arm over his toned tummy, slightly tapping your fingers over the grooves of his muscles.

“There we go baby, you just lay there and relax now. It’s okay, I’ve got you my girl.”

A few minutes of silence passed as Toto gently run his fingers through your hair, up and down your back and over your shoulder.

“Toto?”

“Yes, baby? What is it?”

“We’re never gonna meet her.”

You didn’t know if it was a girl or a boy, but your initial thought was it was a girl. You don’t know why. It’d been playing on your mind all day whenever you caught yourself thinking about what would’ve been, what could’ve been and what should’ve been.

A deep breath came from the pits of his stomach as he saw your heart break in front of him.

“I know darling, I know. But look…” he pointed out towards the night sky, a sky full of stars. A sky so beautiful, that you would’ve thought you’d made it up.

“She’s up there. She knows you’re looking at her. Hey, she’s that really bright one, look” he points to a specific star, that is, quite literally, the brightest one in the sky. “She’s bigger than the whole sky, isn’t she?” he looks down at you, as you’d cocked your head to see the star he was talking about. Making eye contact, one side of his mouth turned into a slight smile, as he leant down to kiss you on the lips. “I love you, little one.”

You kissed him back, finally feeling like a weight had been lifted off of your shoulders now he was home.

“I love you too, Papi.”

He smiled down at you again, bringing his hand up to the side of your face and gently guiding your head to lay on his chest. You heard him snuffle, and felt a teardrop on hairline where your hair meets your forehead.

“Toto?” You looked up at him, tears in his eyes as he looked out of the window.

He responded immediately. “It’s okay, baby. I’m okay, I’m just so sorry I wasn’t here.”

“Don’t be sorry, I’m sorry for not telling you when it happened. I just didn’t want to pull you away from work and—“

“Baby listen to me. You are my world, ok? Nothing is more important than you. I would sail the seven oceans to be with you in a heartbeat. Don’t ever think anything is more important than you, Schatz. I love you so much it hurts.”

He looked down at you again, kissing the top of your head and stroking your hair. “You can rest now, baby. Daddy’s got you.”

You closed your eyes and felt your entire body relax into the indentation of his body, and sunk into the bed with him. The soft strokes of his hands over your arms, hair and back brought you more comfort than you’d ever felt before, and the sound of his slow controlled breathing meant your breathing started syncing with his. You both drifted off to sleep, holding each other close. His arms wrapped around you, you laying on his chest.

This was home. He was home. He is your home.

——

#toto wolff #f1 x reader #toto wolff x reader #toto wolff fic #daddy wolff #f1 #soft toto for once #soft toto wolff #toto wolff fluff

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girlbot666 · 1 year

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advice for university students who have a hard time getting work done aka the things that my ADHD-having ass needed 3 fucking semesters to learn :

1. go to class. GO TO CLASS. yes, even if the lectures are recorded. yes, even if you have other work you really need to do right now. you will fall behind if you don't and it will suck. next time you have class you will think, "I can't go to class today because I still haven't caught up with the material from the previous class" and then you'll do that several times and then you'll haven fallen really far behind and it will really suck. when you show up to class, keeping up with assignments will just naturally follow.

2. do not try to get work done in your room. it will not happen. no matter how much you don't want to leave, you have to do it, you have to leave. go to a library, or a cafe, or even just a different room in your house/dorm if you don't want to change out of your pjs (and even if you're one of those people who *can* get studying done in your room [couldn't be me], separating the environments you work in and relax in will feel so much better, i promise!).

3. go to office hours. if it's one of those STEM class office/peer tutoring hours where lots of people are being helped at once, it's especially important that you go. the material is designed to be challenging and you're not expected to be able to do it on your own. it's also a great way to hold yourself accountable to getting the work done on time. literally just put on some noise-cancelling headphones and work on stuff there until you have a question.

4. start on your big assignments EARLY. working on one essay or project and almost nothing else for 2 days straight leads to burnout. start at least 2 weeks in advance, and work on it everyday for just an hour, maybe 2. setting time-based goals is key here. it makes the assignment feel less intimidating. it's easy to convince yourself to work on it even if you don't want to because, hey, it's only an hour. once you start getting bored or frustrated, it's not too hard to power through, since it's only an hour. and if you're getting super distracted and really struggling to focus you can switch gears to something else guilt-free, and then return to it tomorrow with fresh eyes and a fresh mind.

5. inevitably, you'll fuck up. you'll do poorly on a test, you'll miss an assignment, you'll not understand things you're learning in class, you'll get nervous during a presentation. some days, you might not even fuck up necessarily, you'll just feel bad. when it happens, take a step back. acknowledge and honor your emotions. you might feel sad or disappointed or ashamed. treat yourself with kindness and compassion. try not to judge yourself, recognize that your feelings are natural and normal. take care of yourself like you would take care of a friend who was in your position. do some easy assignments, then wrap up work early. eat something, talk to someone or journal about it, do some cleaning, take a shower, and go to bed early. maybe it feels like you shouldn't because you have too much work to do, but trust that addressing your heavy emotions is more productive than just powering through. personally, if i don't do this, the feeling of shame lingers in my subconscious and i spiral for several days. like, don't get out of bed or eat or do any work kind of spiraling. perhaps the consequences are not as material for you. regardless, honoring your emotions and treating yourself with compassion is a life-long skill that is always worth practicing. your mental health will thank you for it.

#this would normally be a journal entry #but i thought my fellow depression/ADHD queens might benefit from some of this #or anyone else obvs!#studyblr #mental health #ADHD #university #college advice #adhd tips

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ashleyh713fanfics · 2 months

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Dazai X Odasaku!Sister Ch10

Chapter 10: "Maybe With You, This Could Be Home"

Summary: A power struggle between the fifteen year old boy and the demon that lays within him. Which is the truth, and which is a fabrication?

Warning: pm! fifteen year old dazai, dazai self destructing, Odasaku death mentions, dazai torturing himself and everyone around him, manipulative behavior from both sides, mori mentions and grooming themes, underage drinking, talks of suicide. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter ten of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Oda's death has been moved up to when Dazai is fifteen for plot purposes. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 8k total

One Year Ago

Sitting across their usual spots at Bar Lupin, Ango and Oda waited patiently for their other friend to join them only for the glasses-wearing informant to break the silence first. “I still don’t know what to make of that boy..”

Odasaku only raised an eye though, his fingers reaching around the golden colored alcohol in front of him without a care in the world. “Who, Dazai?”

Nodding once, Ango frowned. “Yeah, that kid is like an enigma. I can’t ever understand what he’s thinking. What about you, Odasaku? Do you understand him?”

The red haired man paused then, his head lifting up the ceiling in order to think about his question. He had known Dazai for a couple years now, ever since he had shown up in front of his doorstep covered in blood.

He could still picture it like it was yesterday, the events that brought him here. “Well, I don’t think anyone could ever truly understand him, but I have a couple ideas..”

Leaning forward in interest, Ango coaxed. “Please share..”

And for a moment, Odasaku’s mind traveled back to a certain red haired girl that he had known maybe just as well as the boy. Perhaps that is how he could come to these conclusions, because he was drawing experience from somewhere else.

Pushing his head down to stare back at his liquor, Oda spoke honestly. “He's sharp witted with a mind like a steel trap..”

Stopping himself then, the man pushed his lips in silent thought. Yes, that was common knowledge, something even he was sure Dazai knew already. He was a port mafia executive after all, the youngest in the history of the organization.

But there was something else, something that not even the boy probably realized. Something that he tried to hide, and yet would always be buried deep underneath.

“And he's just a child━a sobbing child abandoned in the darkness of a world far emptier than the one we're seeing.”

------

Present

Hours.

Dazai spent hours with his victims, his fingers sticky with blood as he finally threw the descared knife on the ground of the unmoving and unrecognizable man. He had done what Mori had requested, what he was designed to do with his own horrible monstrous hands.

He had slashed his knife through every single pathetic whining baby that Mori had brought in front of him and made them talk one by one until there was no more.

All the information was received, and now there was nothing left but to stare blankly at the dead body in order for the heart crushing disappointment and guilt to quietly suffocate him with each breath.

He didn’t feel like a man or boy. He didn’t feel any sense of humanity anymore, that fleeting feeling back in Mori’s office now completely and utterly dissipated. Now there was only the demon, the monster that laid beneath it all.

Numb, empty, a hollow shell that’s all he was.

He vaguely heard the sound of footsteps only to feel his boss’ hands grace his shoulders from behind, eyeing the work with satisfaction. “I knew you could do it. Good job, Dazai.”

The boy didn’t respond though, his body unmoving at Mori’s fingers clawed deepered into his jacket with ease. “Oda was a fool to treat you like a child. In fact, it was wrong to assume you could ever be one. You have been and will always be so much more than that.”

His tone was cruel and mocking, like he was proving some kind of sick point and Dazai knew that’s why he did this. The boss was proving to the executive that he was right all along, that he didn’t deserve the term “child” not when it held the connotation of innocence and naivety.

That he could pretend, he could wish for himself to be a fifteen year old boy but in reality that would never be the case. Odasaku’s gentle manner towards him was a lie, that's what Mori wanted to get across.

And he had, he really did, because looking down at the mutilated body and bloodied clothes stuck to his skin, Dazai didn’t feel like anything else but a monster, a demon prodigy and an inhuman machine.

He had desecrated his best friend's final wish, he had mocked Odasaku’s sister’s kind words, he had disappointed and betrayed both of them in the worst way possible. What was wrong with him? Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he change?

Death was the only thing that he deserved now. He deserved to be wiped from this earth completely without a single trace. But even a sweet release seemed unworthy from his grasp now.

Feeling the hands fall from his shoulders, Mori then took a step back before allowing his puppet to be swallowed by the darkness completely. “Now, have a wonderful night. Dazai. You’ve earned it.”

The next few minutes were a blur, the brown haired mafioso robotically moving to the nearby sink in order to run the scalding hot water on his skin to rid of the blood before slowly undoing his bandages around his arms in order to clutch the metal sides with silent despair.

He couldn't even bring himself to look into the mirror, already knowing what he was going to find. A disappointment, a traitor and a lifeless corpse staring back at him. No, he didn’t want to see, he didn’t want to come to terms with such a sight.

Silently re-wrapping the hideous sight with a new batch of gauze, Dazai then stepped back with a sigh. And though the blood was physically gone, he could still feel it. Coating his skin, corrupting his mind like some sort of punishment.

He couldn’t just simply erase what he had done here today.

The world wasn’t ever that kind.

Muscle memory then seemed to bring him back to the familiar apartment buildings he seemed to always slump back to, the demon’s steps slow and silent as he passed by hoards of faces he couldn’t care enough to recognize or acknowledge.

And as the elevator sounded, Dazai knew what he’d find when he stepped into his sad, pathetic and suffocating apartment.

It was the same as always. He knew that he would probably drink himself to sleep, or some sort of equivalent of that while sitting inside his dark isolated space without a single sound.

Always wallowing, always drowning. Nothing more and nothing less.

Pushing open the door to the entryway, Dazai’s blank and clouded body then reached for the black jacket on his body in order to throw the object onto the floor without a single care and fully step inside the place.

And then he was alone, standing in solitude like he always was.

Yet that’s when his foot couldn’t help but tap against something on the floor in front of him, the mafioso stopping for the first time since arriving only to register a small sleeping body curled up into herself.

The move caused her to stir though, groaning before her drunken and sleepy coated expression lazily gazed up at the boy in order for her to yawn through her words. “Oh, you’re back. Sorry, I don’t know how I got here. Guess I got a little sleepy while waiting for you. But look, I’m here as promised!”

Dazai then watched as the red haired girl then scrambled to her knees in order for her lips to curve upwards in adoration for his very presence. “Welcome home, Osamu.”

At the sound of her voice, the boy felt the numb constraint on his body dissipate.

Oh.

That’s right. He wasn’t alone. Oda’s sister was here. He had left her here and she had promised to welcome him back. What a foolish and stupid little thing, and yet she had honored it even so. She had even gone as far as to sleep in front of his door like this so she wouldn’t miss him. What an idiot.

He then watched as she pushed herself back to her feet, stumbling a bit in the process in shaky unreliably before beaming happily. “Oh! Now that you’re here, I gotta show you my surprise! Come on, take a look!”

Reaching forward in order to grab onto his hand, Asa then felt herself freeze before she made contact in order to reel back with an apologetic smile, almost like she had forgotten about his fear of touch in her excitement.

She recovered quickly though, simply skipping away from him in order for the boy to look down at his hand and close it in response. She was always so considerate of him, even while drunk.

Yet, the second Dazai stepped closer into his apartment, the boy couldn’t help but freeze at the sight before him. Gone were the blank and empty walls, replaced by the warm glow of string lights, the sight almost like tiny little fireflies as he couldn’t help but move even closer.

The tables in front of him were filled with various candies and unhealthy junk food, covering the entire surface along with a giant blanket fort in the center of the room, the sheets revealing dozens of pillows and cute stuffed animals inside.

Pushing herself back in front of his vision, Asa then clapped her hands together. “Ta da! It’s a sleepover! I’ve heard about these things from people at my school and I’ve always wanted to try it! Look, there are snacks and pillows and we can even watch movies or tell scary stories!”

Dazai couldn’t help but scoff in disbelief at what she was suggesting though. “You’re inviting a port mafia executive to a sleepover?”

She only laughed at his negative response though, already hurrying over to the small opening just a couple feet away. “Yeah! I mean, why not? We are still kids, you know. Gotta enjoy this stuff before we become boring old grown ups. Now, come on! There is plenty of room in here!”

Kids.

There was that word again. It was like the universe was mocking him with it, taunting him with a term he could never attach himself to. Tonight had proved that.

How dare she, didn’t she know what he did? Didn’t she know about the phantom blood that was coating his hands even now? What a ridiculous statement she had just uttered.

And looking at this display, the warm and welcoming aura was literally the exact opposite of the cold and dark port mafia basement that he had drowned in for the last mind-numbing hours. He didn’t know how to take it, this sudden whiplash and change.

So much so, Dazai felt his unstable mind start to falter, his fingers twitching in response before falling back into the old habits that were familiar and safe. He needed to, he needed to show Asagao that he couldn’t have what she was suggesting.

He didn’t need it. He was far too tainted for it.

Reaching his hands forward, Dazai’s fingers then roughly wrapped against Asa’s wrist before purposely swiping her drunken feet underneath her, the girl falling back onto the waiting pillows only for the boy to appear above her just like with any other whore that wandered into his place.

Asagao’s eyes couldn’t help but widen at the gesture, now finding the bandaged captive holding her down by her wrists, the distance barely breathable between the two.

The executive then smirked deviously in order to twist the tips of his fingers around the longest strand of hair he could find. Anything to corrupt this seemingly innocent construct she had built. “Oh sweetheart, I’d much rather continue where we left off in that elevator.”

Leaning forward, Dazai’s cruel gaze then locked with her confused little eyes before forcing his knee into the space between her legs, pulling them just slightly apart in a tease as he pressed himself deeper into her.

And though he had no plans to actually go through with anything, he needed to get it through her thick head how wrong she was for saying that stupid little phrase. “I mean, you didn’t seriously think that this is what I meant by you spending the night? Oh how innocent you are, darling. So defenseless against a man like me. I guess I have to show you what I mean firsthand. Hmm?”

Then to prove his point, Dazai shifted his head to the left in order to teasingly blow a breath of hot air into her ear before his tongue just barely grazed the side as he felt her chest constrict in surprise at the motion. “Calling the demon prodigy a kid, how wrong you are. Well, tell me. Does this feel like something a kid would do?”

That was it, now she would see that he couldn’t fit in that innocent box she had foolishly built. Just a little more to get his point across, then she would learn her mistake.

As if on cue, he then heard the girl in question whisper, the sound just barely audible, like she was desperate for something. “Osu..”

And because of their position, Dazai assumed it was because of his touch, the boy’s head pulling away cockily in order to look back at her with a small tease. “What is it, love?”

Yet that’s when the two locked eyes as Asagao’s anxious hands moved against his handmade chains, almost like she wanted to touch him. “Did something happen?”

Then all at once, Dazai felt his carefully crafted exterior start to crack ever so slightly. She sensed his distress? No, it couldn’t be. He had hid it so well in his womanizing ways. There was no way she knew about the disgusting thoughts of self hatred inside his head.

Forcing himself to remain calm, the boy then gave her a signature smirk before purposely pushing his hands even tighter around her wrists in order to slam her back into the floor. “Whatever do you mean? I’m just excited to play with my favorite girl.”

And yet, Asagao didn't take the bait, her lips twisting together in conflict before sadly replying. “It’s just...it seems like you're forcing something..”

Forcing something? No, of course not. What could he be forcing? This is who he was. He was just trying to prove to her that he wasn’t a child. He was trying to show her how much of an adult he actually was by seducing her. That’s what he did for everyone else.

For a kid, growing up in the mafia meant no restrictions. It meant killing and drinking and sex and following the lead of everyone else in the organization.

It didn’t matter if he wasn’t old enough for any of it. That didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except forcing himself into the adult box that everyone else around him conformed to easily.

And Dazai did it all. He brought woman back and fucked them just because it was what he thought he had to do. He learned how to seduce and flirt in order to get information for the mafia. He did everything like it was a textbook list in order to seem more grown up and mature and fit into the mold.

It wasn’t about what or desire.

It was a necessity, a skill to use in order to pretend to be a man.

No, he was a man .

He had to be. Since he couldn’t be a child that was the only option.

Feeding her another one of his rehearsed lines, Dazai tried to brush off the accusation. “Well, I can be quite forceful…”

Asa only frowned though, her voice just as sharp as before. “You know that’s not what I mean. How am I wrong? I thought we were both the same age..”

Laughing back at her ridiculously naive statement, he shook his head. Just because they were both fifteen didn’t mean they had the same luxuries and freedoms. “We may be the same age but we are worlds apart, love.”

Asa raised an eye in reply. “How so?”

And at that, Dazai felt his eyes close in that same suffocating shame that he had felt back in the port mafia’s basement. She was so stupid, if only she knew the things he did tonight, if only she saw the way he utterly disregarded Odasaku’s plea for change.

Then she would know why he had to force this right now, why he had to hold onto the routine that he had always fallen back on. Because if he broke out of that now, the boy knew he would break down completely.

Because of that, Dazai decided to be cruel, to unveil his entire evil heart to her in hopes that it would finally get her to understand why he needed to keep that mask on. “Would a kid skin something alive tonight? Would they watch the life leave their eyes, break all their bones and dismember each of their limbs until they were hardly recognizable? I don’t think so.”

He could still feel it, the blood on his fingers, the screaming shouts of his victims to stop and the sound of them choking on their own death over and over again. Whatever imagine she had conjured up in her mind about him was not reality.

And for a moment, he watched that happen, Asa’s eyes widening in shock at his gruesome and horrifying explanation before Dazai forcibly let up on her wrists so that she could run away or slap him for the betrayal.

But even so, it seemed the girl was frozen to the spot, her body and arms unmoving as Dazai cruelly finished above her. “Perhaps you should think twice before you call the demon prodigy something so innocent like a child..”

It was just as Mori had said. Anyone would be foolish to correlate those words together about him. He didn’t deserve that kind of title. He never did.

Yet, that's when Asagao spoke, her voice small and curious. “Why can’t it be both?”

And for the first time at night, Dazai was clueless by her words, his head turning in pure intrigue. That’s not at all what he thought she’d say. “Huh?”

Pausing for a moment, Asagao then thought about her words before blinking her eyes in pure unruly innocence for the situation before her. “You say it like it can only be one or the other, but why can’t you be both the demon prodigy and a kid?”

At that, Dazai felt himself scoff in absurdity

Both? What an idiotic way of thinking. Someone couldn't be a devil and yet an angel, they couldn’t be black and then white. That was impossible. Didn’t she know that those two terms were polar opposites, like fire and water?

Shaking his head, Dazai then leaned back into her body, his fingers latching onto her cheeks in order to pull her closer with a glare. “Don’t be stupid. There is no way those two things can exist in the same universe. They contradict themselves, they are..”

Asagao only smiled though, her words far too honest for him to handle. “You. Both of them. I’ve seen it firsthand. Your goofy/teasing smirks, your carefully thought out scripts, the way your face lights up when you see a letter from my brother, the way you manipulate and take control of every single situation. They are a contradiction yet they are all you, Osamu, and I’ve never seen anything wrong with that.”

And that was something Asa believed wholeheartedly. She had read about this boy for years after all, she knew everything about him and now that she had actually spent time with him, Asagao knew that Dazai wasn’t a simple man.

Yes, he was cruel and controlling with little to no boundaries but there were moments, brief cracks in his exterior that showed another side to him, a softer one. And whether he realized it or not those tiny fractures had shown her glimpses of who he really was.

It was hard to pinpoint exactly with all the masks he wore but pretty quickly Asagao had realized that her claim about Dazai when they first met was no longer valid. She had read him wrong this entire time.

She called him open and real but that wasn’t true at all. No, from the three weeks they had spent together she had learned that the boy was fabrication, a professional shapeshifter in the most impressive form.

He could be so many things at the flip of a hat, going into so many roles that fit his desire. He could be a brutal port mafia executive, a cruel controlling conman and yet a gentle and sensual lover.

But none of those were actually the real Dazai Osamu, not really.

They were just fragments, pieces of him sure, but he had never allowed himself to paint an entire picture.

Perhaps he didn’t know how to, perhaps he had acted and pretended so much that he didn’t know his true self anymore.

But as selfish as it was, Asagao wanted to find him. She wanted to uncover the mystery that was Dazai Osamu and admire him for who he actually was.

Even if it turned out to be a sad, scared little boy that had built up walls to keep himself safe.

It didn’t matter, she would cherish him even so. She wanted to, simply because her big brother had done the same. Brother, did you know the real him? Did you figure out who he was underneath it all? I’ll never know, but if you did..I want the same..

Feeling his hold loosen on her jaw, Asa then continued her explanation, her gaze catching on the self made blanket roof above the two of them before softening. “Just because you grew up in the mafia doesn’t mean you still can’t be a kid. You can still allow that part of yourself to come out, you know. I mean, I get not wanting to show it at work cause you gotta put up a front but don’t think it’s all bad..”

She then turned back at him with admiration, recalling the goofy and child-ish reactions he had given her throughout these past few weeks.

And although she knew that wasn't completely genuine, she wanted him to know how much happiness the fragment had brought her. “Because when I get to see it, I love it every time...”

Dazai couldn’t believe what he was hearing though.

Love? She loved his pathetic weak side? She loved that he was a contradiction of fire and water? What was she saying, of course being a kid was bad. He couldn’t allow such a thing.

Seriously, why couldn’t she just be normal, why couldn’t she just hate him and be stupid like everyone else. Why did she have to read him to his very soul every single time? He hated it, he hated how he could never hide with her.

Of course there was something wrong with it. He was an amalgamation of broken parts, forced to be shoved together with the flimsiest glue in the universe.

But the way she was speaking, the way she looked at him with so much admiration and passion, he couldn’t help but feel his stomach twist and turn with mixed emotions.

Whatever he did, it really didn’t bother her, did it? He could really just murder, torture and explain the darkest parts of himself and still she wouldn’t ever bat a single eye. He knew she wouldn’t.

Now did that make her insane or just way to accepting? That was still up for debate.

But either way, Dazai felt his lips twist upwards into a disbelieving chuckle, his arms growing numb in order to turn and collapse next to the stupid girl with a sigh.

He gave up. Her thinking had stumped him again. “Idiot...you’re a real idiot, Asagao.”

She didn’t seem to mind though, the sound causing her to smile as well, in order for the tense atmosphere to disappear. “Believe it or not I’ve been told that before.”

Dazai only nodded though, not surprised at all. “Oh, I believe it.”

The air was quiet then, coating the two with silence only for Asa to speak first, happy to change the subject.“So, what else did you do tonight? You know, besides the torture.”

She said it so comfortably, like she was talking about the weather and Dazai wondered if she had seen and/or done the same kind of thing when she was a hellhound. That would explain her unbothered air to everything.

Pushing his bandaged arm up in the air, Dazai sighed. “Not much, had a boring talk with Mori and then played around with my dog a bit..”

At his sentence, Asagao felt herself perk up, her eyes practically giddy at the memory of the ginger haired boy that she had encountered just hours ago. “I met him tonight, your dog.”

Then all at once, Dazai felt his entire body turn on his side in disbelief. Hold on, did she just hear that right? She had met Chuuya?

Well, that was unexpected. “What, really?”

Nodding, he then saw as the girl beamed back, pointing an excited finger towards her nose with a goofy smile that filled up her entire face. “Yeah, it was great! He hit me in the face!”

Although that’s when she watched Dazai’s eyes lower into a more dangerous expression, as he felt his throat tick with anger. What did she mean he hit her in the face ?

Just what was that stupid dog doing? Hurting his precious little darling, that guy had a death wish for sure, and not the fun kind.

Reaching his hands up, the boy then placed them on either side of her cheeks before inspecting every inch of her skin. “He hit you..?”

Although that’s when Asa quickly perked up and finished the sentence. Ah, that sounded bad, didn’t it? Sorry, Chuuya. “Oh I mean, accidentally of course! And then he helped me stop my nosebleed.”

The explanation was better, but not by much, the boy softening just slightly when he realized that there were no marks on her face. Chuuya was lucky there wasn’t any too, or else he knew he’d have to have a word with him about it. A very violent word.

Allowing her skin freedom, Dazai’s hand then reeled back before shaking his head with a scoff, still not okay with how things played out. “That idiot, he never looks where he’s going..”

Asagao couldn’t disagree with that though, knowing that Chuuya was distracted when his hand accidentally connected with her face. It was both their faults really, but she was sure Dazai didn’t want to hear that.

So instead, the girl allowed another quiet to overtake them in order for her to recall the kind ginger haired boy that had taken care of her. He was so sweet, cleaning up that blood for her. She kinda wanted to meet him again, to talk to him some more like Dazai did all the time.

Taking in an anxious breath, Asa then began to play with the ends of her skirt in order to turn towards the bandaged boy with a hopeful whisper. “Hey Osu, do you think he’d wanna be friends with me?”

Dazai only twisted his lips in disgust for the idea though, his opinion very known. “Why would you ever want to be friends with that slug?”

Asa only shrugged her shoulders though, recalling the conversation the two had shared in the bathroom's waiting area. “I don’t know, I just figured that if he could handle you then maybe he could handle me.”

It was something that crossed her mind ever since Chuuya had mentioned Dazai’s name. And it was no secret that her and Osu’s mindsets were rather similar in style. Perhaps in some way, she hoped that she had finally found someone that wouldn’t run away for once.

Wishful thinking, she knew, but it was worth a shot to ask.

The mafioso only scoffed though, his feelings not mutual on the subject. “You don’t need to befriend that idiot. His stupid will rub off on you, and you already have enough of that as it is.”

And yes, a part of his answer was because Chuuya was in the mafia which meant another dangerous tie to Mori but that wasn’t completely the reason why Dazai had shut the idea down.

It was insecurity, it was anxiety that the ginger was a much better man than him, and if Asa knew that then she would abandon him for Chuuya without a second thought. Anyone with a brain would do that. He was normal, and Dazai was not.

Sighing heavily, Asa then frowned at the disapproval. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just know I’m a lot to handle and most people can’t really understand it. I just thought that maybe since he already knows what you’re like then there was a chance that..”

The rest of her sentence disappeared due to nerves, and yet her mind finished it even so. Maybe there was a chance I could finally have a friend, that someone could tolerate me enough to finally stick around.

Dazai’s lips couldn’t help but pout at that though, his fears of being abandoned and left behind showing in a jealous and bitter whine. “And what am I, Asa-chan? I understand your twisted little mind better than anyone, especially better than that stupid yapping dog. Trust me, you don’t need him.”

At that, Asagao felt herself smile under her breath. Did he really think she would forget about him? Osamu was and would always be the most important person to her. Even more than a friend, he was her lifeline.

Not wanting him to feel left out, Asa then turned on her side to meet him, her soft gentle gaze meeting his anxious one. “That’s true, you’re plenty enough for me.”

And with that, Dazai’s shoulders began to relax ever so slowly, his breathing retreating back to normal before looking up at the blanketed sky above them. This looked like a lot of work, it seemed to take hours at least.

He could even picture her drunken little stumbles as she carefully crafted each aspected of her little surprise. What a silly little thing she was, doing all of this. He didn’t deserve it.

Feeling his voice come out far more uncertain than he had planned, the bandaged boy whispered apprehensively. “Did you really put all of this together..?”

The rest of the phrase was lost in the air but it was obvious even so.

..for me?

Did she seriously put all of this planning and hard work together just for a pathetic little boy like him? He had never had that before, he had never been surprised with good intentions. He had never had anyone think about him or care about him in this kind of way.

Asa only nodded her head though, like the answer was obvious. “Of course, I wanted to make you happy, like you do for me. So, did it work? Are you happy? Did I make your home a little more fun?”

Happy?

What did that feel like, to be happy? And was that what he was feeling now? He wasn’t sure, but Dazai did feel a strange tumble inside his chest, the feeling so warm that it was almost too nauseating to process.

It was a foreign sensation, one that the boy couldn’t understand in the slightest. How was one supposed to react to that question? He didn’t know.

But what he did know was how utterly wrong she was with that little sentence of hers. She kept calling this place a home, and he knew that wasn’t accurate at all.

Forcing the warmth from his chest, Dazai then narrowed his eyes in order to focus on correcting her absurd sentence. “This place has never been my home. It’s just a building with rooms, that’s all.”

Asagao wasn’t surprised by that though. She had gotten that much from her very first inspection. A home wasn’t supposed to be that sad and lonely after all. That’s why she did all of this in the first place, so he would feel better about coming back here.

And because he had shown her a bit of vulnerability, she wanted to do the same, even if it was hard to talk about. “I get that. Oda’s place doesn’t really feel like home either. So I can understand how you feel, coming back to somewhere that doesn’t feel right, like you're a stranger in your own house..”

Someone else’s place, someone else’s bed, it never did feel right for her to be there, especially since she never knew the previous owner. Maybe if she knew Oda then the walls wouldn’t be as mocking but that wasn’t a luxury she was given.

Dazai remained silent at that, almost like he had wordlessly agreed with her as Asagao closed her eyes in simple thought. Tomorrow their little “freebie” would be done and they would go back to the strangers they were before.

And although it was far past what they had decided, Asagao didn’t want that.

She didn’t want them to go back to being strangers, not after she had gotten a taste of who he was. That lonely, sad and suffocating feeling, she never wanted to go back to that again now that she had found someone that had understood her.

Just a little bit more, that’s all she needed. That’s all she wanted from him. Perhaps it was impossible, but she would never know unless she tried.

And using her drunk confidence, the girl did just that. “Osamu..I..uhh..”

Stopping her failing tongue, Asagao then took a heavy breath before pouring out her feelings. “I know the specifics of our deal are already made and everything but these last two days have been really nice. I’ve never had this before, and I wanted to thank you for it. For giving me Bar Lupin, for showing me that photo, for bringing my brother back to life, and for allowing me to be myself without judgment. It means a lot to me..really..”

It was something she would never forget, the kindness he had shown her tonight. She somehow felt closer than she had ever been before to her big brother and it was all because of him.

Pausing for a moment, Asa then squeezed her eyes shut with anxiety before shoving the words out before she could change her mind. “And I just...I want you to know that if there is a day that you don’t want to come back here, then you can come to me..”

Oh god, she said it. She really said it. Hold on, that sounded creepy, didn’t it? She didn’t want him to think she was creepy. Quickly Asagao, explain yourself before he laughs at you.

Pushing her hands up, Asa then stuttered through her embarrassed pink cheeks, the room suddenly feeling way too warm “I-I don’t mean that in a weird way or anything. I know you’re still gonna come over for the letters but that doesn’t have to be the only reason we have to see each other if you want to. You could always just stay the night and leave right after or hang around the place, or even sit in complete silence if you just need to be near someone. I don’t mind, really.”

Finally taking a much needed breath, she then forced her mouth closed before a small smile crossed her lips. She did it, she had taken a step forward and pushed herself out of her comfort zone.

Speaking mostly to herself, the girl then finished wistfully imagining a perfect world where her dreams could be. “In fact, I’d actually really like it if you did that. Because then, maybe with you, that place could be home.”

And maybe it could, maybe with Osamu there, Oda’s apartment could feel like home, like she could belong there. She had seen small glimpses of it when he came over for her brother’s letters. Perhaps the house could be that lively all the time. She hoped it could.

A heavy silence then appeared between the two, causing Asagao’s head to turn towards Osu only for her eyes to widen at the sight before her.

Because for some reason, the scary port mafia executive, the demon prodigy, looked like the embodiment of a ghost, his skin sickly pale and unmoving as his eyes stared into what seemed like absolutely nothing at all. It was almost like the boy had ceased to function completely, his mind unable to process the offer that Asa had given him.

All at once, Asagao leaned forward in concern, her voice laced with anxiety and fear in order to try and snap him back out of whatever state she had put him in.

Oh no, what had she done? Did she offend him? “...Osamu?”

Yet, before she could process it, Dazai’s fingers had quickly found the edges of the blanket she was laying on and lifted them up in order for her entire body to flop around like fish as the boy beamed happily. “Alright, time for bed!”

Gasping out a squeak in surprise, she then felt her entire body start to get constricted by the blankets in order for Osu to comically roll her up until just her head and wiggling feet were showing. “Whaaa, wait Samu, what are you doing?!”

He only laughed though, picking up the poor wrapped girl before throwing her over his shoulder in order to move over to his bedroom with an over the top air. “I’m making an Asa-chan burrito so that way you can’t escape!”

Asagao then felt her entire body plop onto his bed in order for her to whine in disappointment. “But what about our sleepover? I worked so hard.”

Dazai only placed a finger to her nose though, stopping her self pity party with a teasing smirk. “But isn’t sleeping also a part of a sleepover?”

Nodding apprehensively, Asa frowned. “I guess..”

Reeling back in finality, the boy then clapped his hands goofily before already walking away, almost like he needed to leave this conversation sooner rather than later. “That settles it! Now come on, my drunk princess needs her beauty sleep or else she’s gonna regret it in the morning.”

But as she watched him go, Asa couldn’t help but call back in concern. “What about you, where are you going to sleep?”

She had taken up the entire bed after all, and Asagao didn’t want Dazai to have to sleep on the sofa or something uncomfortable like that. Hell, if she wasn’t tied up like the giant sushi then she would’ve offered to move.

Although that’s when Dazai paused, his overconfidence dropping for a millisecond in order to glance back at the girl with a more genuine, less happy smile. “Aww, don’t you worry, darling. I’m naturally beautiful. It would be impossible to lose my good looks.”

Then before she could argue, he was gone, leaving Asagao to slump against the pillows with a heavy sigh of defeat. He didn't answer her question, now and back under the fort. But what did that mean?

And why did he look so sad when he turned back to her?

------

Carefully closing the door to his bedroom, Dazai waited until he heard the soft click of confirmation before his happy go lucky and cheery exterior dropped away into nothing, leaving only a placid and sunken expression.

He had run away.

One push from Asagao and he had retreated into himself so quickly, it was almost like second nature. Her request to get closer to him, to have him rely on her past their original agreement, just what was she thinking?

Of course, he wanted that.

He wanted to have somewhere he could call a home, he so desperately wanted something to stop the crippling loneliness that he felt whenever he returned back to these sad and hollow walls and floors. He wanted it so badly that it physically hurt him to even think about it.

To have a family, to have a friend, to have something to hold onto when life abused him and kicked him down over and over again. He so desperately wanted someone to hear his cries and reach out their hand so that he could collapse safely and never leave again.

But, Dazai knew that he couldn’t, because he had already done so before.

And it had ruined him.

He had let his walls down around Odasaku, and for a split second, the boy thought that he could have those things too, but then they were taken from him. Just like that, in a blink of an eye, they were gone, leaving him in the dark once more.

What was the point of it all, why did he even do that? Why did he try? It’s not like it mattered in the end, if anything it made everything worse. Because now that he had gotten a taste of companionship, it was like a drug, never leaving him alone.

And Asagao was the worst kind of drug of all.

One that he couldn’t allow himself to indulge in, to addict himself so heavily like before. No, he had learned his lesson, he wouldn’t get his hopes up and destroy himself a second time.

Because it never changed anything, and Dazai knew in his sick little twisted brain that the moment he crumbled and closed their distance, she would be taken away from him as well.

No, he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t lose someone like that again.

That’s why it was better to never know what that warmth was, what that path felt like. Yes, it was better to never know then to find out and have it ripped away in the end.

Moving over to the large window by his living room, Dazai then leaned against the cool glass, allowing it to chill his entire soul.

It would be easier to just let her go completely, to cut ties with Oda’s sister before he was tempted with more.

But just the very thought caused his entire body to tense in response for even thinking about such a thing. No, he couldn’t. He couldn’t let her go, not when she was close to his dear friend, not when she had brought him so many wonderful things.

Even Dazai knew he wasn't that kind. He was far too selfish to give her that kind of mercy, to completely lose her in his life.

And though it was dangerous, though he realized he was walking an extremely thin line over a cavern-like pit, he couldn’t help still balance on it.

Standing still from the distance they had but never taking a step forward, that was the fate the boy that resisted himself to, and he was determined to keep it.

It didn’t matter if that result left him alone, it didn’t matter if twisted his heart and shoved his invisible needs down, it didn’t matter if that result left him screaming in the dark like he had always been, this was the only path for him now.

And he would walk it, simply because he had to.

Taking out his phone from his pocket, Dazai then pushed a very familiar button before he heard the singular ring inside his ear.

And then, after two little sounds, Ango’s voice picked up, just as panicked and anxious as he expected it to be. “Dazai? What is it?”

The mafioso only hummed though, his fingers trailing the glass in front of him. “Oh nothing, I just thought you’d be interested to know that I found our little lost princess.”

Almost immediately, the voice jumped up, the tone growing louder. “Wait, you did? Where is she? Tell me the address and I’ll come over right now..”

Although that’s when Dazai cut him off completely, a suppressed laugh inside his throat. “Oh, that won’t be necessary. You see, Ango. I’ve taken quite a liking to her. I think I’m gonna keep her.”

And from the other side of the phone, Ango felt his face drop. No, this was the worst result he couldn’t ever have imagined. “K-Keep? Dazai, you know you can’t do that. It’s too dangerous. What if Mori..”

Yet that’s when Dazai responded, his voice serious. “He won’t.”

Catching the agent completely off guard, Ango couldn’t help but twist his eyes in confusion. Where was that cruel teasing air he had been using? It had disappeared completely. “What?”

The bandaged boy only narrowed his eyes though, clutching the phone between his fingers before allowing his voice to ring with soft honesty. “Mori won’t find out about her. Odasaku wouldn’t have wanted that, so he won’t.”

And for a moment, Ango felt himself freeze. Was he saying that he was going to protect Asagao, that he was going to keep her safe from Mori and the port mafia? No, it couldn’t be. Dazai wasn’t that kind of man, well at least that’s what he thought.

It was surprising to say the least, suggesting such an out of character thing for him. Was it because of Odasaku, was that why he was going out of his comfort zone? Ango wasn’t completely sure but from his tone of voice it didn't seem like he was lying.

But with Dazai, he could never really tell.

Because of that, the man was still apprehensive. This was such a precious thing they were talking about, this was their friend's dear little sister. He couldn’t let up on such a thing. “I don’t know, I just don’t think that she should..”

Yet that’s when the boy cut him off again, a sharp threatening edge to his voice. “Ango, if you continue then you’ll be my enemy. You know what that means, right?”

And for the first time since their conversation, Ango felt his eyes widen.

Because he knew exactly what that meant, he knew the death sentence that was implied by being labeled the misfortune of the enemy of port mafia executive Dazai Osamu.

But could it really be true? Dazai was threatening war with the government just to keep her? He wanted to risk that much? Perhaps he was wrong, perhaps Asa did mean more to the boy than just a simple plaything.

Could it really be, had the brutal mafia executive finally grown a heart?

He couldn’t really tell for sure but the lethal threat was enough to make Ango close his eyes in unsaid defeat. If Dazai was really that serious about defending her then he knew he couldn’t argue.

But that didn’t mean he was going to let up if that changed. “You better keep your word, Dazai. If anything happens to her, just know Odasaku would never forgive you, and neither will I…”

And just like that, the line went dead, causing Dazai to drop the phone to his side in silent confirmation.

Ango didn’t need to worry about that. He would protect her, from Mori, from the world, but mostly from the most dangerous threat of all.

Himself.

---

(It's been a month since I've started this fic! Thank you so much for all your support and love on my first bsd story!)

I call this chapter "let Dazai be a kid" because in most fanfics I've read a lot of authors focus on either the "fifteen year old boy" aspect of Dazai or a "brutal executive" side of him and although none of them are wrong, in my mind I think he's really a mix of both. The line that Odasaku uses to describe him in the novels really inspired this chapter in order to show both sides of the complex boy. We see this in the expectations and the box that he tries to put himself into to seem more adult (the drinking, the pressure of seduction) but in reality it comes across from of a child playing dress up than the truth.

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demonichikikomori · 6 months

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No Nut November: Bonus Round

All students are written +18

+Round 1 +Round 2 +Round 3 +Round 4

Dire Crowley

Lasts 26/30 days

Dire Crowley is an old man. Even though he doesn't look like it... He still doesn't understand the 'memes' or much of today's comedy.

However, he agrees to participate because he thinks the challenge would be amusing to try.

How could he turn down such a thing with you asking him to try?!

During the first week he was unbothered by the challenge. This was easy enough for a fae like him!

The second week with your scent and presence lingering around his office, he became antsy.

He disliked seeing you roam the halls when he was walking to check on the many classes. The sight of you made him flustered, knowing this was a challenge that needed him to keep his hands to himself. To abstain.

The third week he had become irritable and cold to the other staff and the office visitors that he had. He didn't think this would be such an issue until he spent the days struggling like this...

As you reached the last week of November, you took a trip to Crowley's office with a big smile on your face.

You wanted to try teasing him a little more in hopes of seeing him fail or mess up. You couldn't always let him have a smug victory in everything.

When you sat on his desk after all the students had gone home, the feeling of his metal talons sliding across your waist made you shiver with excitement.

"Why don't we stop this game..? Can't you see how badly I want you?"

You could, and it was your choice to give him what he wants, or leave him hanging.

"Sam"

Lasts 13/30 days

Ohhh his little Imp is so much fun!

Sam agrees on the bet with little to no hesitance. He likes the idea of a gamble with you!~!

With a shake of your hands and his friends watching to make sure that it was official, the test began.

Working shifts with Sam left you breathless when the shadows would pinch and prod at your body. Or when Sam would rest his hands on your body casually to get around you in his organized mess of a shop.

You feared that you may have bitten off more than you can chew with Sam.

You would evade his touches and the shadows with twists and spins that amused the students that came in to shop, but displeased Sam.

On day 13, Divus Crewel came in with a soft smile as he greeted you with a kiss to your knuckles and a compliment. You walked and talked through the shop as he browsed and he eased a few laughs out of you.

Sam didn't seem to be a fan.

Once Professor Crewel left with his purchases, the shadows locked the door to the shop and flipped the sign to say that the two of you would be gone for the day.

You were bent over his counter, whimpering and whining as the sun began to set behind the trees and the lights began to dim. Leaving the light source up the neon signs, and the glowing paint on the decorative masks above.

"Sorry my Little Imp, I can't wait much longer. I miss having you all to myself."

Divus Crewel

Lasts 22/30 days

Such a silly game you asked him to play... But he won't refuse such a gamble with his little puppy!~!

He plays it cool the first few days, happy to see how antsy you look when he summons you to his classroom after hours

Nothing happens of course, just the flirty words of what he plans to do once November was over. How about an early gift for the Xmas season on December 1st?

After a week... Dealing with rowdy boys and a useless Headmage was starting to get to him

His hair becoming frazzled and out of place. He's snippy during class hours. He takes wayyyy more smoke breaks than usual... He's losing his cool with each light caress of your finger against his arm and every late night flirty text.

As the 22nd of November arrived, rushed to his classroom once the students had gone home. Apparently a potion had exploded in his classroom and everyone was evacuated due to the contents.

As you entered you looked around in alarm, inhaling a sweet scent in the air that left your body aching with desire.

Divus was rubbing at his temple with his gloved hand as his coat stayed draped over his chair. The aura in the room was tense and it left your body feeling hotter than before.

He explained to you that it was an old aphrodisiac one of the third years made for their DIY project.

"Now, hurry up and shut the door."

And you did exactly that.

Ashton Vargas

Lasts 2/30 days

Don't forget, he doesn't understand internet culture. That's for the spineless wimps and those who don't understand what it means to build muscle mass!

Although it is a challenge, he isn't sure what it's supposed to train muscle or brain wise but chooses to agree out of pride

And to impress you of course

When he finds out it's a test of 'restraint' he grows unhappy with the concept of participating

What a foolish challenge! He won't participate any longer! This ends day two

Coach Vargas choses to fail out of spite for this wimpy challenge

"A real man won't hold back on his urges! He faces them head on!"

Mozus Trein

Doesn’t Participate

"I am unsure as to where you have found this concept, but I don't think I am a big fan of it."

He doesn't have time for such games, he is an adult! An old man!

Mozus also knows not of internet culture, and isn't sure why doing this was such a challenge

To be driven by desire like some beast is unbecoming of a man like him. However, if you would like to play along, he won't stop you

But please, let him know when you've ended your silly game

He'll be waiting for you on December 1st!~!

#no nut november #mozus trein #ashton vargas #divus crewel #sam twst #dire crowley #nnn twisted wonderland #twst smut headcanons #smut hcs

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blackberrysummerblog · 19 days

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An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

Hey all! Thanks so much for tagging me @wellbelesbian, @aristocratic-otter, @valeffelees, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @ivelovedhimthroughworse and @iamamythologicalcreature! You’ve all correctly determined that I am procrastinating writing.

1. 🐬Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s)

I actually don’t have any that are named at this point. Titles and tags are really difficult for me and I put both off to the last minute and second-guess myself into hell

2. 🍄Decriscribe your wip/one of your wips in the format of “___ + ___=___”

Popular movie retelling + flying goats = Baz and Dev have A Spot of Bother

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your wip(s) need if you intend to share it?

Wraaaugugh, see #1 :P. I don’t know, in seriousness, I think the WIP mentioned above will end up getting a tag for sexual harassment or something like that given the nature of one necessary scene in the movie it’s based on. It’s not going to be worse than the source material, which is PG-13

4. 🧭An alternative title to your/ one of your WIP(s)?

Oh, to have so many ideas for titles that there’s ever an alternative lying around to spare :(

5. ⚠️Which wip your most likely to finish or update next?

I’m pretty likely to finish a sequel to Field Trip of Dreams (SEE WHAT I MEAN about titles?) this week. The eighth years are off on another field trip—this time it’s a weekend training excursion with the Mage. Baz and Simon have been dating for the short time that’s passed since FToD, but they manage to get in a fight on the bus trip to Scafell Pike, and when it turns into a sort-of-tussle the Mage mistakes it for actual animosity and sends them off to a secluded cabin to bang (I mean work🙄) it out. Absolutely everybody but Davy—including the other teachers—knows exactly how much of a “punishment” this is

6. 💾 What is your document of your wip/ a wip called? (not the stories actual title but what you've saved it as)

Practical magic au

7. 🖍️Post Any sentence from your wip

“Shut up, Gareth!” we shout as one, Snow adding a few brutish threats as Gareth pales and turns back around in his seat.

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP

I actually can’t remember. I don’t plot my writing out very extensively so in a sense there’s hundreds of little scrapped thoughts rather than anything huge. I’m eliminating a lot of things with my crucible marriage fic, but it’s hard to say right now what’s actually gone or just being moved around. I know a major one I’ve been battling with is that prior to getting dragged off to Pitch Manor by his new husband Baz, I want Simon to have been living with Penny in a flat of their own, but for another aspect of the story I want him to have been living with the Mage in Watford (which is an au mage’s settlement in the fic) as well. There’s ways to work around it for the results I want, I just haven’t written it out yet.

9. 🤔What's a story you'd love to write but haven't even started yet?

I’m pretty sure I have at least a few lines written down for everything I want to write

10. 🤡How many Wips are you actively working on?

Oh, man…actively, probably the field trip one and my COBB. Somewhat less actively: a reverse COBB fic, a sequel to Monsters Under the Bed, a sequel to After Hours where Simon makes good on his promise to despoil Baz on his office desk, and my unending crucible marriage fic. Less active than that: a fic response to a prompt for Simon being the one kidnapped and Baz has to rescue him. There’s probably (cough*definitely*cough) some pretty messed-up OOC smut stuff lying around in my docs as well, that I add to when I’m in the mood and have zero plans to ever post

11. 🛠️Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

I keep telling myself to just write and stop worrying about this for the moment, but I’m kind of bumming myself out worrying about whether I want to use first or third person, as well as past or present tense, for my COBB. I think the issue is that some scenes are bound to play out better one way while others would be better served differently. This is not usually a thing I struggle with.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

🥰

This was fun! (Once I stopped putting it off, lol). No pressure tagging (and sorry if I get anyone who’s already done it): @cutestkilla, @mooncello, @artsyunderstudy, @prettygoododds, @drowninginships, @hushed-chorus, @bookish-bogwitch, @thewholelemon, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @youarenevertooold, @ileadacharmedlife, @facewithoutheart, @imagineacoolusername, @ic3-que3n

#ask game #ask game for writers #procrastination #tag game #SnowBaz #SnowBaz fanfic #works in progress #wip

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deanwanddamons · 1 year

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Undercover - Chapter One

Summary: Homicide Detective Dean Winchester and Detective Y/F/N Y/L/N go undercover to solve a spate of murders.

Universe: Detective AU

Pairing: None (yet)

Chapter Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: Dark subject matter. Angst.

A/N 1: As always thank you to my beta @winchest09, who helped me with the idea for this story. You are my cheerleader, my bestie and my constant support. I love you. A/N 2: As you may or may not know, I haven’t written anything in an absolute age. I have been struggling with writer's block and life has simply got in the way. But…I started this series a long time ago and a few chapters were just sitting in my docs. So I thought I would post the prologue in the hope that you guys enjoy it, want to read more and it may give me the inspiration to continue with it. I’m happy to say, most of you seemed to enjoy it so here is Chapter One. Please let me know what you think - comment and reblog if possible ❤️ Tag list is open if you wish to be added.

My Masterlist

Undercover Masterlist

3 weeks before Prologue

Dean walked through the winding streets of Pasadena, Los Angeles, making his way towards the precinct where he would now be working.

After spending a week in the hospital after ‘the incident’, he had been ordered by his Captain, Rufus Turner, to take some time off work to recuperate from his ordeal. Dean wasn’t happy with this command, and had been very resistant to agree. The police force was his life, and the idea of just sitting at home doing nothing was alien to him. But he knew that Rufus was not the kind of man you could argue with.

Rufus had been his chief for several years, and Dean knew that he wouldn't back down once he had made up his mind. He had tried to reason with him, explaining the importance of his job as a police officer, but Rufus had already made up his mind.

Flashback

"Look, I know how you feel," the older man had said, his tone firm. "But you need to take some time off. You've been working non-stop for months. You need to recharge your batteries, spend some time with your family, and just relax."

Dean knew that his Captain was right. He had been putting in long hours, working weekends and holidays, and neglecting his personal life. He had missed important family events, and he could feel the strain on his relationships.

"I understand, sir," he said, trying to keep his voice calm. "But what am I supposed to do? I can't just sit at home and do nothing."

Rufus smiled. "I'm not asking you to do that. There are plenty of things you can do. You can take a vacation, travel, catch up on some reading, or do something you've always wanted to do but never had time for. The point is to take a break, clear your head, and come back refreshed."

The officer nodded, silently acknowledging the wisdom in the words he had just heard. He knew he needed a break, and he also knew that his Captain had his best interests at heart. He would take some time off, reconnect with his family, and come back ready to serve and protect.

"Thank you, sir," he said, standing up. "I appreciate your concern, and I'll take your advice."

Rufus nodded, pleased. "Good. Now, go enjoy yourself. That's an order."

When he eventually returned to work, the idea of being given a new identity and to move away from Lawrence, Kansas had been posed to him. He had been furious, but had eventually agreed when he realised if he didn’t, his life could be in danger.

It was going to be strange. A new day, a new station and a new name.

He pulled the badge from his pocket, the one that was mailed to him by his new superior Captain Bobby Singer.

Detective Jon Elliot.

Dean huffed a laugh. He recognised the mixture of names that had been chosen. Jon Bon Jovi and Joe Elliott. He was impressed. Even though he didn’t think he looked anything like a ‘Jon’, the name was something he was going to have to get used to. His life, and many others, were at stake.

Opening the heavy doors of the police station, he walked over to the desk officer.

“Detective Elliot to see Captain Singer,” he announced. The deputy nodded and picked up the phone. Dean turned around, noticing a few chairs to his left and sat down.

He looked around the reception area. It was full of people, coming and going, and was much bigger than the station he had worked in back in Lawrence. It consisted of a large communal area with around twenty desks and three offices. One that belonged to him and his partner Benny, one that had belonged to Captain Turner and one that had been used as a store room. There had been very little crime in the area he had originally worked in.

That was until Michael had come to town.

He shook the memory from his head, determined to not let himself be distracted today.

“Detective Elliott?” A burly, thick set, bearded man in his late 50’s was walking towards him, his hand outstretched.

“Captain Singer.” Dean stood and shook the man's hand.

“Please. Call me Bobby. There’s no formality here,” he said “Come with me if you will,” he continued, gesturing to a corridor on his left.

Dean nodded, and side by side the men walked quietly towards an open door.

Entering the spacious office, Bobby closed the door behind him as Dean took a seat by the large, oak desk. Taking a moment to look around the room, the Detective took a deep breath as he tried to get himself accustomed to the new surroundings. Photo frames filled with smiling faces adorned the wooden space in front of him. He could only assume that it was the family of the older man who he would be reporting into.

"Dean, I was sorry to hear about Benny," the Captain started, taking his place in his plush office chair opposite him before he steepled his fingers. "Terrible situation."

“Thank you,” Dean acquiesced, taking in the grim expression on Bobby’s grizzled features. He appreciated the concern, but was hoping that he wouldn’t be expected to go into too much detail. He wasn’t sure he felt quite ready enough to discuss what happened in depth with a stranger, even if he did mean well.

“Losing one of our own is always a deep blow,” the elder man continued, “And for it to be your partner while you were on a case must make it even harder to bear. I have lost a few colleagues…” Bobby’s words trailed off as he realised Dean was fidgeting in his seat, loosening his tie with his right hand, the fingers of his left hand drumming against the wooden arm of the chair.

“Anyway, I digress,” he went on, mentally kicking himself for making the new Detective feel uncomfortable, “I’m sure you’ll fit right in here. I trust your new accommodation is to your liking?”

Dean was happy that the subject had been changed. As Bobby had been speaking, he could feel his heart rate begin to raise, his palms getting sweaty. He wondered briefly if the Captain had noticed, and that was why he had stopped talking. If that was the case, Dean knew he needed to get himself in check. He could not perform his duties correctly if he couldn’t bring himself to talk about Benny. Even though no one else in the precinct knew his real identity except his superiors, it was enough that Bobby asking him questions had made him react this way for him to realise he may need to take the force up on the offer of a therapist.

“Yes, yes thank you Sir. It’s very nice,” Dean lied. The small apartment he had been supplied was in a rough part of town, above a liquor store, but he was grateful for the relative safety the tiny rooms afforded him.

“Okay so,” his new Captain went on, “I’ll introduce you to the team, using your assumed name of course. They’re a good bunch. A few mavericks that need to be reigned in now and again, but besides that, they behave themselves most of the time.”

Raising from his seat, Bobby buttoned his jacket as he walked past Dean towards the door. He opened it and gestured for the younger man to exit the stuffy office.

He was led through a corridor into a bustling investigation room. Numerous staff were typing away on keyboards, the clack of their fingers creating a cacophony of different rhythms. Desk phones were ringing loudly, most of them being ignored. A large white board containing photographs of suspects in the particular case they were currently investigating stood at the front of the room, words written in different colours of magic marker, some circled, some underlined filling in the gaps between images.

Dean followed his superior as he moved between the desks, the occupants standing up as the Captain passed, nodding at him briefly before taking their seats again and getting on with whatever work they had been doing. Some of them glanced at Dean as he walked closely behind, others ignored his presence.

It was clear that Bobby ran a tight ship and was well respected by his subordinates. The fact that they stood up when he approached their work station was a surprise to Dean, as this was not something anyone did for Rufus back in Lawrence, but he made a mental note to remember this in future.

The duo had reached the desk of an attractive blonde police woman. Her face was open and pleasant, a bright smile on her lips. She rose to her feet, as Bobby introduced her.

“Detective Donna Hanscum, this is Detective Jon Elliott.”

“Pleased to meet ya,” she said, holding her hand out. Dean shook it, warming to her friendly demeanour straight away.

“I’ll leave you in Donna’s capable hands,” the Captain told him, “come by my office before you leave for the evening.”

As Bobby turned away, Donna pulled a chair out and patted it. “Take a seat.”

“Coffee?” she offered, her eyes moving towards a vending machine in the corner of the room. “It’s not gourmet, but it does the job.”

Dean was relieved. He was desperate for some caffeine. “Please. Black, no sugar.”

“You betcha.”

As Donna prepared the beverage, Dean took in more of his surroundings. The staff were a mixture of uniformed and plain clothes officers, male and female, young and old. Some were busy on their desktops, others were leaning back in their seats, cellphones to their ears. Food was being consumed at work stations, papers were being shuffled, names were being yelled.

It was so different to what Dean was used to, but he liked it. It distracted the tumultuous thoughts that haunted him, even in his waking hours.

Donna, returning to her desk, brought him out of his reverie. He took the plastic cup gratefully and gingerly sipped the tepid liquid. She was right. It was far from gourmet, muddy tasting and luke warm, but it provided the caffeine hit he really needed right now.

“Nasty right?” Donna chuckled, obviously noticing Dean’s disdainful expression.

“It’s fine,” he smirked, placing the cup down.

“So, Jon,” Donna said, turning her body towards him, “What brings you here?”

Chapter Two

Tags - @salt-n-burn-em-all / @littlelonewolfgirl/ @krazykelly/ @deans-spinster-witch / @lastcallatrockysbar / @ssimelttilgniht / @123passwort / @winchester-girl67 / @winchestergirl2 / @americasass81 / @jessjad / @akshi8278 / @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior / @waywardbaby / @deanwinchesterswitch / @440mxs-wife / @globetrotter28 / @sexyvixen7 / @hobby27 / @djs8891 / @kickingitwithkirk/ @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden / @kyjey / @lindalouh / @solariklees/ @trektraveler

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #detective!dean #dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #supernatural au

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zero00o0 · 1 year

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Quiet pt 4

Cw: mcyt g/t, cursing, fear play, (major) horror elements, (major) character injury, blood, (major) angst, (major?) violence

Chapter 1 , Chapter 2 , Chapter 3

// OK, I am sorry for disappearing for so long. I should've said something, but to keep it short and simple bad life stuff happened, I had to get more jobs to keep myself up and just didn't have time for social media. Thankfully I'm really close to finishing school now and these past few days I've gotten sick so it gave me time to finally sit down and finish this. I'm not making any guaranteed future promises but I don't plan on staying away forever. At least until I can finish school and get my shit together properly! I'm so so sorry for staying AWOL for months. Please enjoy ^^ I tried to make it more lengthy than I anticipated to make up for the lost time. //

He’s sure that at some point, in his scrambled hyper-energetic mind, he noticed how fidgety and nervous George had been acting while he was in his shop. He’s sure that, even though he wasn’t centered on his clammy hands or sweat-soaked hairline, there was something in him - may that be human instinct or something more profound - that could tell something wasn’t right.

Because if he hadn’t been sure that everything was okay, would he have stopped frantically mopping the juice staining his floor, to make a call that he surely had no business making, because he felt, 'unusual'?

Who knows. Regardless, it was that feeling-driven phone call he made that led him to speak with the county’s entire police force not even half an hour later, regarding the case of a missing vacationer wanted for vandalism and the destruction of private property.

“Like I said, officer; George didn’t steal or threaten my life or anything like that. He just seemed … off. I don’t know how to put it?” Alex struggled to find his words as he shrugged at the big, burly officer towering above him, arms crossed with black shades covering his eyes.

The man hummed and shifted, standing more upright and increasing his height. “Course he seemed off,” he grumbled sternly, “boy just caused a few thousand dollars of damage. He outta be scared. Once we find him he’ll be working for years trying to pay that off.”

The officer glanced over his shoulder towards where his other officers stood around talking by their cars. Then he leaned down slightly, getting closer to Alex's face. "You better not be bullshitting us, Maldonado. I know your history." The clerk clenched his fingers into a fist behind his back. "Officer, I'm not..." he trailed off, frowning nervously. "I'm not trying to imply anything about... 'it'. I didn't even intend to call you, I was just concerned about George. I thought he was sick and called that lady at the resort to connect me to his friends. That's when I realized he was missing and called you to do the 'right thing'." There was an edge to his voice at the final two words. The officer stood back up straight and just nodded. "And it's good you finally have," He said.

"But officer-" Alex was cut off. "Son, I think it'd in yer best interest to stay out of this one. For yours and my station's own sake. Okay? Don't wanna have to take this place away from you, understand?"

Alex bit his tongue and nodded as the cop returned to his car. He disagreed with the man entirely. The officer clearly hadn’t met George in person or had seen him. It didn’t take years of a lasting friendship for the store clerk to know that a little guy like George couldn’t cause damage like that within the span of a few hours. George probably couldn’t do damage like that in a few days.

The sound of car doors shutting pulled Alex away from his thoughts, and he looked over at the source of the sounds. It was Sapnap and Karl, though they didn’t look as cheery nor as rested as they did the last time they met. It was almost intimidating, the manner of the way they approached Alex. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say Sapnap looked ready to beat somebody up.

“Hey, guys..” Alex greeted, raising a hand to give a small, awkward wave. Karl gave him a small smile and waved back, but Sapnap didn't bother with greetings as he bluntly said, “tell us what actually happened.” Alex frowned with confusion. “What do you mean? I haven’t lied to the cops about anything,” he said carefully. Karl stepped forward, his tone much more gentle than Sapnap’s as he said, “We don’t think you’ve lied about anything but..” He trailed off, “we think that there are some... elements you may have left out.”

Alex half-scoffed, half-gasped as he just slightly inched backward. “What? What could I have possibly left out? You haven’t even heard my story yet,” he exclaimed. “Then tell it,” Sapnap said, leaning closer to the clerk.

Alex told them everything that had happened from the moment George entered the shop, to him buying the chocolate for Karl, to him leaving in an odd, rushed manner.

“Alex,” Karl began. “I need you to think about everything you just told us. Yes, it was all very off and weird and whatnot.. but was there anything else that struck something in your mind? Something he did that.. maybe you have seen before? Or something you heard that.. maybe you’ve heard on other quiet nights that you try to explain away but.. you know isn’t right?”

Alex bit his cheek as his gaze refused to meet their eyes. “…No.”

“You’ve felt like something’s been off for years now, haven’t you?” Alex looked up at Sapnap with surprise. “That look in your eye, it’s the same as that woman’s.” Sapnap stepped forward and Alex looked away again. “One might think this place is a vacationer's dream, and you see it happen all the time. Happy tourists stopping by, telling you about their sweet, getaway cabins and going on and on, just like us, and you always wanna say something, but you can’t. You think they’ll think you’re crazy, don’t you? But.. you know something’s wrong. You’ve known it since you started working here, but you never admitted it.” Sapnap’s eyes softened for a moment as if he were reflecting his words on an experience of his own.

Alex frowned and turned his back to the Texan. “I’m sorry about your friend, but I don’t know anything.” He spat as he started to leave.

“Alex, please,” Karl cried, grabbing the clerk’s arm. “George is our best friend, he means everything to us, and his fate could be resting on whatever information you can give!” Alex turned to stare at Karl. “Please,” the man pleaded. “Anything.”

The warm hand left Alex’s arm and the clerk sighed. He glanced around a few times before leaning closer to the men. “My grandma told me to never, ever go into the woods alone, especially at night,” he murmured. "As a matter of fact, it was the last thing she told me." Sapnap and Karl glanced at each other.

“And it’s not like I ever wanted to,” he said slowly, his words shaky. “I always felt watched when I went out there.”

…

It took every ounce of willpower he had to keep himself from gagging. George turned his head and waved the giant’s hand away. “N-no, thank you,” he managed to say without lurching.

The monster, who’d been trying to offer George a bloody lump of raw flesh from god only knows what pushed the raw meat closer to the human. Using its other hand, it pointed to where its mouth was, trying to explain to George that, This is for you to eat.

George shook his head and finally gagged aloud, getting up from where he sat on the grassy ground to lean over a log, his face green with sickness.

It’s now officially been over a day since the monster - who George prefers to call, 'the giant' now, had kidnapped George from his cabin and taken him throughout the woods of this cabin resort he’d unenthusiastically agreed to go to with his two friends, Sapnap and Karl. For their first hours together, George was dead-set that this giant creature had malicious intentions for him, whether that be eating him alive, torturing him, or doing sadistic experiments. But after it had convinced the human to get chocolate and acted very appreciative and domestic towards him after he did, George wasn’t so sure his initial assumptions were correct.

He coughed a few times as he cleared his throat and tried to clear his mind of the thought of that meat. Behind him, the giant watched with interest and confusion as it took the hunk of bleeding flesh away from George and tossed it into the dark cavern of its own maw. A cold finger brushed up against George’s back, doing its best to rub up and down gently, soothingly. It would’ve felt nice if the giant had any body warmth at all.

The more time George spent with this creature, the more curious it was. Though it had a humanoid body, it lacked key details that, as result, made it very inhuman, like a normal mouth or a normal shade of skin. The tar-black color of its body reminded George of the blackness of looking down at a deep well during the night. It was spooky, yes, but very interesting. Things like these set it very clearly apart from people, but it had so many human-like qualities, that discrediting it as a homosapien all together felt wrong. Besides obvious physical similarities, it also displayed human-like intelligence as well as some sort of emotional intelligence. It had to understand emotion to some extent; if it didn’t, it wouldn’t be mocking a back-rub to George right now to calm him down.

George shrugged the finger away, rubbing his hands up and down his forearms to prevent himself from trembling; partly due to the cold and partly due to the intimidation of something of that size being anywhere near you, let alone touching you. Sure, it’s been over 24 hours now spent with the giant, but most of the time had been asleep and or shitting himself in fear. If he had to guess it’s only been an hour or so since he went to the shop. Just because it was showing George domesticity, didn’t mean he was in favor of showing it back. Quite the contrary. He wanted to go home.

He missed his friends.

The giant, who appeared to have grown bored of sitting around and staring at George, suddenly moved to grab the human and lift him, standing a bit too fast for George’s liking as the human hurried to grab onto its thumb for support. Yet again it was walking with purpose in a random direction, and yet again George was forced to tag along for the ride. Although this time George didn’t want to sit in silence.

He knew it couldn’t understand him, but he needed to hear someone’s voice right now, even if it was just his own.

“I hope you’re going somewhere that has food,” George said aloud, crossing his arms over his stomach. “I don’t know how long you can go without eating but I can’t last that long.” He heard a guttural grumble answer him from within the chest behind him. George sighed, “Maybe I should’ve smuggled one of those chocolate bars for myself,” he said airily, longingly. George sat up straighter. “You probably would’ve smelled it out, though. Wouldn’t you’ve?” He asked, glancing up where its head loomed just a few feet from where he sat. It didn’t answer this time. It was just enjoying listening to its human speak gibberish, George figured. “Where are we going, anyway?”

…

“When I was younger, I decided to come live with my grandma and work in her shop; this shop.”

Sapnap focused his sharp gaze on Alex, who was zoned out as he began his account of this place. Though he couldn’t see him, he could also tell that Karl was listening closely as well. (He definitely had that cute, scrunchy face he always made when he focused, Sapnap thought in the back of his mind.)

“I was about 17 when I made that decision,” Alex explained. “Well, the truth is I wanted to come here because I knew grandma couldn’t work much longer, and I wanted to make some easy money. This actually pays pretty well. You know, in one month I make-“ Sapnap cut him off, “Focus.” Alex gave him an apologetic look before continuing,

“Well.. it was after she died, and I inherited the business, that I started noticing weird things. Like, paranormal weirdness.” He rubbed his hands together as he thought for a moment. “But not the kind of paranormal like ghosts.. paranormal like… massive shadows appearing and disappearing faster than you can blink, a loud bird-filled forest becoming suddenly quiet, and.. people.. people going into those woods and never coming out."

Sapnap’s eyes widened. “People? As in… more than one?? Why haven’t we heard anything about other people!?” Alex frowned. “The cops used to try and investigate these cases. But after case after case… person after person, and nothing showing up? They gave up and dusted any new disturbance under the rug. The town has decided that these 'missing persons' are just people doing criminal shit in the woods and then 'disappearing.' The story's different depending on who you ask. The cops tell you that it's a human trafficking ring, while the politicians swear there's a drug empire somewhere out there, all while everyone in town thinks that people go out there to kill themselves in the abandoned lake. There haven't been enough people to come back out of the woods to confirm any of this, so every word is just lost in the whirlwind of conspiracies. The only reason your friend is getting any attention at all is because of the property damage.”

...

This place was untouched by man. Even though he was stories up in the air, George could tell that there wasn't even a single plastic wrapper to be found. It was lovely, of course, but... in a way... kind of offsetting. Litter was bad, obviously, but seeing litter was a telltale sign that humans had been present there at some point in time. So, seeing none now confirmed to George that he truly was alone out here. No one else would see him in the palm of this creature, and no one could call for help.

"You, uh, you keep it nice and clean around these parts, hm?" He said out loud. Of course, the giant didn't answer, but that didn't surprise him. Honestly, he'd be more surprised if it did answer. , 'Why yes, I do keep it quite clean around here, thanks for noticing!' George couldn't stifle an amused snicker at the thought of a British giant. How amazing would having tea with a giant with a British accent be?

A clicking sound from behind him took him away from his thoughts. "Yes?" George said in response. The giant looked down at him, its green gaze shimmered at him with excitement as it pointed ahead of them. George followed its pointed finger and gasped. They were standing right before a huge lake. It had to be the most beautiful body of water George had ever seen, shimmering water so clean you could almost see to the bottom. Fish splashed on the surface, and just a little ways away he could see some deer stopping by for a drink. Disney WISHES they could capture such beauty. This scene was the epitome of nature, no doubt.

"Oh my..." He gasped, fighting to find words to fit how he felt. He looked back up at the giant. It was looking down at George with a gleam in its gaze. It looked proud to show George this place. 'Look, look at what I have that no human has! Are you impressed?' And George would've said, "Yes! I'm impressed. This is amazing!"

"You're telling me that no one else is here? Why isn't the resort capitalizing on this?! It's amazing! I'm not even an outside guy and I would pay to come out here! You can't tell me that nobody else knows about this place!" George beamed, antsy to get down so he could see it up close. But instead of letting him down, the giant held onto George's tiny body as it walked forward, stepping into the water.

…

“You said that some people come out..” Karl’s voice made an appearance suddenly. "... so there are people who come out alive?”

“Yes,” Alex mumbled. “Well, no… I mean- My grandma. She’s- She was the only one." Sapnap cocked a brow. "You're telling me that your grandma - and I don't mean to be rude, but - your elderly grandmother went into those woods, encountered the…” He glanced at Karl in brief hesitation. “...whatever’s out there... and came back alive to tell the story, while no one else has gone in and made it out?" The Texan questioned. “I’m sorry but it sounds made up.” There was an odd tone of hopefulness in Sapnap’s words. A hope that, maybe, the giant wasn’t real. That the lady really was just crazy, and he hadn’t really seen green eyes watching from the trees their first day there.

The clerk bit his nails as his frown deepened in response to Sapnap's words. That sentence resonated with the clerk on a deeper level than the two boys currently understood.

Alex sighed, deep and long. "That's exactly what I told her up to the day she died," he said dryly. "Me and my entire family. It.." his voice ached with hurt, "it was like a family bonding activity to ridicule and make fun of her. Like belittling this little old lady made us superior. It always hurt her feelings, and we knew it."

…

George grasped onto the giant's fingers as they went deeper and deeper into the lake. The lake only reached the giant's waist, but that didn't seem to upset it at all as it bent down until its shoulders were submerged as well. It let go of George and let him gently float in the water. It kept its eyes fixed on the tiny human as he swam around, enjoying the warm water.

Geroge laughed as he held his breath and went under the water. All around them were fish swimming, surely confused about why there was suddenly a ginormous black mass in the center of their home. The gentle rays of sunshine illuminated the space nicely and presented a gorgeous scene for the human to behold.

He resurfaced seconds later and gasped for air. George was never the best at holding his breath. Last he checked he could hold it for about 25 seconds before he started struggling.

…

Karl raised his hand for a moment but put it back down. Seemingly deciding against his initial thought, which Sapnap assumed was to comfort Alex. "Hey," he said softly. "You don't have to go into so much detail if it's too much... we just need to know what's out there, and how she made it back out alive." Alex furrowed his brows and tightened his lips into a thin line. Then, the clerk shook his head slowly. "Karl. I-I…I… I swore I would never talk about it again.” He sharply inhaled a breath of air. “I'm sorry... you guys are cool and I wanna help but..." Alex clasped his hands together and blinked a few times like he was composing himself.

"I... want to help you, tell you what I know, but if those pigs down at the station heard that I was talking about 'it' again, they'd take the shop away from me. They already threatened me earlier." The clerk turned away sharply, his posture suddenly tense. "That's all I have left."

He began to walk away.

But he didn't get far.

Alex gasped in surprise as he was suddenly whipped around and facing Sapnap. He didn't have much time to look at his face before he was hit on the side of the head and staggering to the side, disoriented. Before Alex could stabilize himself, the boy grabbed the clerk by the collar of his shirt and lifted him with adrenaline-driven strength. "Now listen here you pussy," he hissed with venom. "Stop thinking about your own damn self and think about someone else for once!" He shook him a few times, Alex's head lolling back and forth violently. "George is my best fucking friend! He’s all WE have. And whatever you know about your grandma surviving could literally determine if he comes out alive or dead. You've sat by and watched all these other people, just like us, come into the resort and NEVER come back home because you were only concerned for YOURSELF! This is your chance to do the right thing for ONCE and save a goddamn life! What would your grandma say if she knew you were too scared to do anything to help these poor people?!?! What is WRONG WITH YOU??"

"SAPNAP quit that," Karl hissed, pulling his friend backward and away from the clerk, causing Sapnap to let go of his shirt. Once released, Alex fell to the floor with a dull thud, he was whimpering and sniffling, snot and tears running down his face. "Ridiculing him isn't going to help us, you idiot!" Karl snapped.

…

He looked up at the giant. It was just sitting there watching him carefully, content with just observing George's behavior. The human smirked at the giant, gaining a newfound feeling of confidence. "Well, c'mon! Are you just gonna sit there?" It blinked at him. Blank. Unreadable. George laughed as he used his entire arm to splash its chin. It leaned back, surprised by the action. George smiled endearingly at it. It could be so cute when it wasn't a potential threat to your life.

The giant lifted its arm and used it to gently stir the water a bit, making a mini water tornado. George yelped as he was pulled with it, though he quickly composed himself and started laughing. This seemed to spur the giant on, giving it confidence. It cooed at him as it stirred faster, clicking in a manner that reminded him of laughter. George tried to swim against the pull of the water, but as the giant's enthusiasm increased so did the speed of the water. George's laughter turned awkward, and a bit nervous as he was swept with the spinning waves against his will.

…

Alex sniffed and shuddered as he got back onto his feet. He was cowering away from the two now, his face an entourage of emotions, most of which seemed to be old and resurfacing from the protective shadow of his mind. Delirium, guilt, shame, fear. If the man had lost any more stability in the moment, there was no doubt in Sapnap's mind that he would've been screaming right now.

"If I w-would tell you, if I-I warn you about the demon in the woods, about the-the missing bodies, the screams I sometimes hear at night, would you believe me?! Would you REALLY have believed me earlier??" His voice shuddered and cracked with a growing weakness. "I've tried so many times," Alex whispered, "I've tried to warn people, I've tried to explain, to get SOMEBODY to believe me!!" He wiped the snot off of his face. "Eventually I just stopped trying. The cops told me I was inflicting terror onto, and harassing my customers." He bit his bottom lip so hard Sapnap was surprised no blood trickled down his chin. "Sometimes people come and leave without a problem.. so I just started to have wishful thinking. Maybe it's all my fault.. for not being convincing enough. For not following my gut instinct and stopping George before he could run back out there..."

…

The giant didn't seem to notice the human's change in behavior, though. It just made excited noises as it added its other arm into the mix, spinning George around like he was a pool toy. Nervousness turned to panic when George was caught in the waves with no way of escaping. He was losing strength and was becoming weaker and weaker as he was rag-dolled around in the water, unable to prevent himself from going under just to spin right back to the surface. "Wai- Wait," he cried, but his voice was muffled by the water. He could barely see it, but when he surfaced once again, he caught a glimpse of the wide, empty, sadistic glee in the giant's gaze as it toyed with the human, the being that had no power over it, that it could bend to its will and play with like he was nothing but a toy.

And then George went under.

The rays of sunlight illuminating the lake were gone.

And it was dark.

...

"Alex," Karl's voice was a nice calming interruption to Alex's stress and Sapnaps anger. Like a mourning dove sounding over a storm's wind. "We may not have believed you before, but we are here listening to you now and we do believe you. Maybe there is still hope. So please, just tell us what you know."

Alex choked out a whimper as his head fell, his hair falling over his eyes as he tried to calm himself. He sounded defeated.

"I don't know exactly what it is, but I do know that it's big. Really big. Big enough to cast down enormous shadows and tear apart two-story cabins. It has two arms and two legs. It's fast and deathly quiet. Though I’ve never seen them yet, my grandma always said... ‘You don't know it's there until you see its eyes,

And you don't see its green eyes unless it wants you to know that you've been found’."

Karl gasped and Sapnap grabbed his head in panic. Alex blinked in surprise at their unexpected reactions. “Wha-?”

“The old lady,” Karl explained frantically, “the one who you called at the resort. She told us that her wife was killed by a giant green-eyed monster. We believed her but-" “But to hear someone else say it,” Sapnap’s shaky voice interrupted. “To hear someone else say it just… makes it more real.”

For a heartbeat, they were all quiet. Each and everyone one of them was just beginning to truly feel, to truly realize the realness of all this. As if they'd been holding onto a logical blanket of comfort that told them, ‘Monsters aren’t real.’ Now their eyes were forcibly open. There were monsters.

Monsters are real.

Monsters are real, and it took George. It took tons of people like George. Stalked them, hunted them down, and took it for itself.

“Alex, you have to tell us how your grandma escaped.” Sapnap’s voice was as sudden as it was frantic. Once again his hands were clasped around the shirt collar of the store clerk as his pleading eyes stared into Alex’s very soul. “Please, please! Right now! We have to get going and find him before it’s too late!”

Alex clenched his teeth as he held onto Sapnap’s wrists. “The monster’s eyes!” The clerk trembled. “Its eyes are its biggest advantage and biggest weakness. It can’t catch you if it can’t see you. That night when she went in the back to put out the trash and saw them- she threw a can of cola at it and burned its eyes long enough to escape! It never messed with her again.”

The two boys nodded. “Ok,” Karl said. “We have to blind it. But- how and-and where are we even gonna find it, Sapnap??”

Sapnap didn’t answer as he grabbed Karl’s hand and ran back to the car, leaving Alex alone as he watched the two drive back towards their cabin.

Right back towards the heart of the woods.

...

A cold shock pulsed through his body, his heart jumped and he let out a half-gasp, half-scream as he jerked violently, his eyes wide open yet unfocused.

The last thing he remembered was being pulled into the dark abyss of water stirring around him violently, confident that it would be the last sensation he'd ever feel.

And yet... here he was. Breathing, albeit with some struggle.

George sat up and leaned over, coughing and choking as he spat out the water that filled his lungs, desperate to get a clear, uninterrupted breath.

After a few minutes of heaving, gagging, and sputtering the Brit was finally able to get a grip on himself and his surroundings. But he couldn’t say he was pleased with the first thing he saw once he looked around.

The giant - the monster - was there, sitting a few yards away from the boy. Its hand was closer to George than its body was, which indicated to him that it had definitely been the source of the cold shock that woke him up. It looked conflicted- surprised. Like it hadn’t expected George to start back to life. Iits haunting green gaze domineering over all other aspects of it, seizing George’s attention. In a way, it almost looked relieved.

But George didn’t care what the giant felt right now, it just tried to kill him.

His heart raced and his hands began to tremble as he found that he was once again struggling to breathe. He forced his eyes to peel away from the glowing green orbs and to his surroundings. He needed to run. He needed to get away. This… thing… was unstable. It had tricked him into trusting it, and what a fool he had been to feel comfortable around the monster that terrorized him for an entire night- no- that terrorized him since he got here. This thing had been hunting him since he got here! It made him lose his mind, lose his sanity, and make him think he was going insane.

They were back in the monster’s burrow. It looked like he was deeper inside now. He whipped his head around, studying the walls, moss, bramble, and all the different things that were growing inside. Wait, he wasn’t deeper inside. The burrow didn’t go any deeper. His breath came in short gasps as he tried to figure out why he felt different. Why were the surroundings off?

The giant made a move and George screamed, scrambling backward and looking for anything to hold onto for purchase. The giant froze as George moved away from it. It was making sounds reminiscent of the comforting rumbling it had been making hours ago when it saved him from the bobcat, but the Brit could barely hear it over the sound of his heart racing, causing blood to pump through his veins powerfully.

He didn’t stop trying to move away until he felt his hand come down on something hollow, breaking it and causing George to fall on his back. He winced in pain as his neck hit something hard and sharp, making his head spin. George was still holding onto the thing his hand had broken as he forced himself to sit upright, his vision spinning and out of focus. He lifted his hand to shake the thing off, but as he looked down, the only thing he could do was scream.

His hand had broken through a worn-down human skull. And as he turned to look around at where he was sitting, he realized that he had fallen right onto a spine.

His head was spinning, his eyes were unfocused, and his heart threatened to send him into cardiac arrest. He frantically looked around. There were more. Skulls, spines, arms, legs, piles piles PILES. He was sitting in piles of human remains. Dead bodies. People who went into these woods and NEVER came back out. People who saw the monster, and never lived to tell the tale. Dead. Gone. Thrown into a hole and forgotten about forever. Killed. MURDERED.

Cold fingers wrapped around his arms as he violently thrashed, kicking, screaming, biting. He was acting like a feral animal. He was hysterical. George didn’t know what he was doing anymore. It was inaccurate to say that George was even conscious at the moment.

This was nothing but primal human terror fighting to stay alive.

He saw another black hand reach under him and wipe dirt over the exposed graveyard of discarded bodies, covering it up. The hand seemed to shake as well. It had been caught, of course, it was nervous.

Before the monster had a chance to lift him up any higher George managed to reach a hand onto the ground and grab a fistful of dirt. As he was lifted towards its face, he hurled the dry dirt at its eyes with as much power as he could conjure.

The monster wailed as the earth hit its exposed pupils. It wailed so loud, so high pitched, George could feel warm blood trickling out of his ears. The pain distracted the monster long enough for George to struggle his way out of its iron fist, fall to the ground, and sprint around, out of the exit.

He didn’t know where he was going. But he knew that his best bet would be the opposite way that he tried before. It had to work. He HAD to find his way back to his friends. He’d run all the way to Florida if he had to.

He’d do anything just to hear Sapnap’s laugh.

His footsteps pounded on the forest floor, sticks and grass, and leaves were thrown behind him as his powerful steps dug up the ground. The wind felt like thousands of needles pinching his face as he ran through it, his lungs were ice cold with the freezing air.

He’d do anything just to feel one more hug from Karl.

George cried. He cried for warmth, he cried for rest, he cried for safety, he cried for his friends. He wanted to go home. He wanted this hellish nightmare to be over.

And suddenly the ground was gone. And in its place was concrete.

George gasped as he fell over trying to abruptly stop. His face hit the hard surface, and he heard a deep crack from his nose, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t even register the pain. A road. A road! The road to the cabin! To Sapnap and Karl! He laughed as he threw himself to his feet and stomped on the concrete with glee. His path home!

Or maybe home would come to him.

…

Sapnap drove the car as fast as it could go. It could barely make the sharp turns of the backroad at this speed, but they had to get to the cabin. They had to start somewhere. “Sapnap! Please- please just go a little bit slower!” Karl’s terrified voice shook with fear in the passenger seat as he clutched onto Sapnap’s shoulder. “We’re so close…” Sapnap would mumble back. His eyes were glued to the road before them, his thoughts however were miles away. Back in Florida where nothing was wrong. He should’ve just let George play his stupid games. He should’ve just joined him. He should’ve just-

“SAPNAP STOOOPPP! LOOK OUT!”

Karl’s scream snapped Sapnap back into reality as he realized he was racing right towards somebody walking in the road. “Fuck- Wait!”

…

George heard the roaring of an engine coming up from the road. His heart leaped as he turned to wait for it to come. But as he stood with his hands in the air, screaming for attention, he realized that the car was hurtling down the narrow road. He could hear the tires squeaking, the engine roaring with passion. The sounds make him feel scared all at once. Why would someone be driving so fast back here? Unless they saw something…

The Brit became ultra aware of the silence deafening his ringing ears.

His knees felt weak all at once, and he had to strain to keep himself standing. He looked around, his eyes desperately scanning the edge of the trees for that horrible green color, that all too eerie black shadowy form. That’s when the car came speeding down the road right toward him.

All his life he’d never understood why deers would stand so still while a car came right at them. He always assumed it was because they were animals, and animals were dumb.

But this week he’d realized that to that monster, he was an animal. An animal to be hunted. To be found as a prize. And at this moment, he and a deer weren’t really that different. Were they?

…

Deafening ringing filled his ears as Sapnap tried his best to steer the car out of the way, tried to avoid the man in the road, but wasn’t fast enough and still hit half of him. The car came to a screeching halt, all too late, and the men inside were left sitting in a fog of shock.

Red crimson painted the hood.

The body lay limp right on the edge of the road.

The car had stopped right next to a cliff, just feet away from rolling off.

Karl was the first to react. He gasped as if he was holding his breath like he had been drowning in the thick tension of the situation. It was the blonde who was strong enough to get himself out of the car, to walk down the road and toward the body. But it was Sapnap who, after following in pursuit at the sound of Karl’s horrified scream, was strong enough to say the word, “George-”

Karl’s wails became background noise to Sapnap. The Texan didn’t even realize that the blonde had fallen to his hands and knees and crawled over to George’s body and splayed himself over his friend. Hugging him and wailing out for help. The only thing Sapnap could focus on was the horrified look on his friend’s face. Like it was a picture printed right onto George’s face. It didn’t look real. He looked like a wax statue. His fingers ran through his hair as he watched red pour onto the green-turning-yellow grass of mid-autumn. He stared until he couldn’t take it anymore, turning around to look at the murder weapon - the car - with tears spilling from his eyes. It was barely damaged. The only thing wrong was that the trunk had popped open, and the shotgun he had packed had fallen onto the road. It was laying right in a pool of blood. The man trembled, losing balance suddenly as his own sobs threatened to escape his throat.

What. Had. He. Done.

Karl’s screams suddenly got earsplitting louder. So much louder, that it got Sapnap to turn around. His heart stopped beating as he looked up. Up. Up. Up. Up at those green, hollow, evil eyes that glared with a rage readable by any living thing at them. The shadowy body that the eyes belonged to lurched forwards at paranormal speed with inhumane movements. It came out from the trees’ edge and right towards Karl. The blonde wailed with fright as he moved away slightly, but not far enough. The monster put a giant hand over George’s body, blocking him off from the boys’ sight as it used another to hit Karl away.

If it were the size of a human, the slap would’ve been only just strong enough to send a small object a few inches away, but this monster had the strength of a hundred men, and what a flick of a wrist was to it was powerful enough to send Karl right into a trunk of a tree. A snap echoed until it reached Sapnap’s ears, making the boy cringe. A trembling wail escaped his throat as he watched Karl hit the trunk with awful force. It didn’t appear to kill the blonde, thankfully. But Karl definitely wasn’t getting up any time soon. Sapnap’s gaze traveled from Karl to the monster, who was hunched up into a tight ball and curling its fingers around George’s form. There was water spilling from the thing’s cheeks (tears?) that fell and landed on the ground around the unmoving human, staining the road.

There were a few long, drawn-out moments that passed where he just watched the thing coo and grumble at his friend, almost like it was trying to get a response out of him, to the monster finally noticing Sapnap watching it.

The boy breathed out a gasp as he tried to back away, trying to find his footing, but he wasn’t fast enough. The green-eyed monster got to its feet and pounced on him first. It stood over him for not even a moment before he felt the force of its foot kicking him towards where that cliff was by their car. He groaned in agonizing pain as the giant force flung his body like a dog toy. He landed awkwardly on his back, his head hanging over the edge of the cliff. At this angle, he could see how far down the fall was. It looked like a fall straight to the gate of hell. Maybe it was a foreshadow for him. His last sight on Earth would be his first sight in his afterlife. Ironic.

Sapnap didn’t have enough time to laugh cruelly at himself before a horrible force was placed on top of him. He yelled in pain as the giant dug its foot into his body, but not so much as to crush him at once. It did it slowly. It added pressure every second. The pressure changed, but its haunting gaze never did. It stared down at Sapnap with a quiet rage. Pure evil. He couldn’t breathe anymore. He could feel his life draining.. draining… draining.

He fucked everything up. He killed his best friends. Maybe he was the real monster.

“You…”

A weak voice made the pressure killing Sapnap stop. He was whimpering, his voice straining as he tried to call for help. Suddenly the monster moved away altogether. Sapnap choked in a breath, coughing hysterically as he sat up frantically looking around. It wasn’t until he followed the giant’s startled gaze that he saw what had been the source of the voice.

…

He felt no fear. For once in this whole experience, George felt fearless. Awaking to the sounds of his friends crying in pain because of that fucking monster triggered something deep within him. His legs had to be broken. Maybe even his arm. He was losing blood by the second, and there was no way he could be standing right now by every law of nature, no way he could’ve crawled over to the wrecked car. But here he was, standing upright, staring right at the monster as the monster started right at the eye of the shotgun he was aiming at its face.

Its green eyes sparkled when they saw him. Gleeful that he was alive. They made eye contact only for a moment before it realized what George was holding. It didn’t have enough time to react, to move, to do anything at all.

Fuck this monster.

“Go to hell.”

One shot rang and not even a moment later the monster was wailing as it clutched a cold, dark hand over its bleeding eyeball. It screamed and cried with sounds George had never heard it make before. It staggered with imbalance as it fought for purchase on something it could grab- but there was nothing around for it to take as it tripped and descended right off of the cliff's edge.

Relief washed over him as he finally succumbed to his injuries and fell to the ground. Not even a moment later did he feel hands supporting him, lifting him up. “George! George! Oh my god! Holy- I- George you’re alive!” It was muffled by his ears, but he knew it was Sapnap. After a minute he could feel another pair of arms wrap around him. Somehow Karl had managed to drag himself over to the two, as they all embraced with relief and joy.

George frowned as he held onto his friends tighter. He didn’t want to, but he thought about the monster. Why did it take him? Why did it treat him so nicely, only to try and drown him? George let tears wash over his red cheeks as he sobbed. Maybe it didn’t mean to drown him. It was trying to play- trying to make George happy. It wanted to make the old lady and her wife happy. It left gifts, it played pranks. But it got too enthusiastic and killed her. The monster was shunned and was left to be alone again.

George looked at Sapnap and Karl as they lay on the side of the road, not speaking quite yet but just taking in each other’s presence. He loved being around them, loved it more than even talking to them.

And he realized that that’s what it wanted. It wanted a presence to be around. Company. A nice warm body to hug when you felt lonely, someone to go to when you need something. Someone to have fun with.

But it wasn’t human. It was too big. It never realized its own strength. Never meant to have casualties. In a sense it was careless. It was greedy. Going back for more people despite knowing it couldn’t contain itself.

But George couldn’t help from feeling sympathetic. Because all that time away from his friends made him realize how much he missed them.

All it wanted was a friend.

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