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httpsserene · 2 months

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𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 “𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤”𝐞𝐝 - 𝐨𝐩. 𝟖𝟏

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: oscar’s girlfriend is feral on main. 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: crack. this is a shitpost, you have been warned. uh this is completely unrealistic, it’s pure vibes okay. this is not an accurate representation of those mentioned. 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: oscar piastri x fem!black!reader 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smau.

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: i wouldn’t consider myself an oscar girlie but then,,, i opened tumblr and saw the photos of oscar from when he went karting and um…now have another op 81 mess of a smau! this is completely unserious and it’s inspired by the nefarious actions i would do to oscar’s biceps. inspired by @dwarvenchords and @hookhausenschips ‘s reblog lol. it’s short but, enjoy, loves xxx.

insp. 1 | insp. 2 | taglist | feedback & requests | table of contents ↻

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yninstagram • february 28th

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oscarpiastri: love…you couldn’t even save this for the close friends stories? you had to post it on main yninstagram: did you like my joke? oscar “jack”ed piastri LOL im so clever oscarpiastri: ijbol 😐 yninstagram: i’d be pressed but ur muscles are distracting me oscarpiastri: u should cmere and give them a kiss :)

lilymhe: he let u tie a bow around his bicep?!!! omfg i have to do this with alex yninstagram: i don’t think alex has enough muscles to meet the requirement for the bow :/

landonorris: he’s such a simp landonorris: i would never let my girlfriend tie a bow on me 🥱 yninstagram: step 1: have a girlfriend

logansargeant: your freak out on twitter had a slight mentally-ill aura yninstagram: shut the fuck up and get on a podium before you talk to me yninstagram: gangly bitch + not funny didn’t laugh + L

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yninstagram • february 28th • in between my boyfriends tiddies ⚑

liked by, oscarpiastri, mclaren, logansargeant, markwebber, and 1,223,458 others

yninstagram: things to do with your boyfriends muscles; listed in the comments below (a huge thanks to the toto user on twt for FINALLY sending me the photo)

tagged oscarpiastri

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yninstagram 1. tie a bow around them (completed)

➥ user thx for sharing the photo

➥ user FUCK! I CAN’T FIND A PIECE OF PAPER TO WRITE THIS ON

yninstagram 2. kiss them (completed)

➥ user awh how cute! going to nap on the interstate rq

➥ user wait for me!

➥ user omg slumberpartyyyyy

yninstagram 3. touch them (completed)

➥ markwebber there’s a time i thought you were a normal girl

➥ yninstagram who told you to think that??

user i know those arms are rock solid 🥴🤤

user i’m the toto user on twitter !!! she did not kill me y’all !!!

➥ user u were flirting with death babes

➥ user i would not have admitted to this under her post

➥ user you should seek witness protection 🙏🏾

yninstagram 4. have him suffocate you with them (he said no)

➥ oscarpiastri WHY DID YOU INCLUDE THIS ONE

➥ logansargeant i think you’re proving the mentally-ill part y/n

➥ yninstagram u sound jealous logan

➥ user personally, i think if you didn’t want her to say that, you shouldn’t have muscles @/oscarpiastri

➥ oscarpiastri oh! yeah! why didn’t i think of that—lemme just take them off rq 😐 WTH

yninstagram 5. wall sex (?)

➥ oscarpiastri i specifically said not to say #4 and #5 in public

➥ user the question mark is SENDING MEEEEE

➥ yninstagram i mean, i can tell you that he didn’t say no to this one 😈 @/user

➥ landonorris i did not want to see this when i opened ig

➥ yninstagram do us all a favor then and delete ur account x

➥ oscarpiastri what she said^

➥ landonorris :o -> :(

yninstagram 6. draw on them (in progress)

➥ user wait this one is actually cute 🤭

➥ oscarpiastri watching the pure concentration on her face is adorable

➥ user omg she’s so 👉🏼👈🏼 coded

➥ oscarpiastri it tickles lol

➥ yninstagram ur moving around too much

➥ yninstagram might have to tie you to the headboard 😏

➥ user and she’s back on her bs

yninstagram 7. watch him flex for you (ongoing indefinitely)

➥ mclaren do we have your permission to post oscar thirst traps now?

➥ yninstagram i’m sure we could work out something mutually beneficial

oscarpiastri • february 28th • my girl’s basement ⚑

liked by yninstagram, danielricciardo, logansargeant, landonorris, and 1,478,539 others

oscarpiastri she knocked out on my chest halfway through drawing on me. didn’t know this was part of the boyfriend job description, felt like there was some false adverting. overall: 12/10 experience, will be doing this again.

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danielricciardo didn’t know where this was going for a sec but fuck you guys are so cute 🥹

➥ oscarpiastri thank you? i guess

➥ user oh to have my relationship praised by danny ric

➥ user girl ur man responds to your texts two days late

➥ user DAMN u didn’t have to air out my business like thatttt

user WHAT DID SHE USE TO DRAW ON YOU OSCAR??? HELP A GIRL OUT

➥ oscarpiastri its liquid eyeliner 🫡

➥ oscarpiastri she used an eyeshadow palette when she wanted to add colors

➥ user why did i never think of that, she’s so smarttttt

user oscar piastri the MAN that u AREEEE

logansargeant so,,,,are we still getting dinner later orrrrr

➥ user LOL

➥ user omg y/n was right logan IS jealous

➥ logansargeant im not jealous !!!!

➥ user 💀

➥ user okayyyy….we believe you LMAOOOOO

➥ oscarpiastri ijbol 😂

➥ logansargeant stop using ijbol it’s not funny

➥ user this will be the only time that i say i agree with logan on something

➥ logansargeant ur literally a fan account FOR ME?? @/user

➥ user yeah man u didn’t have to bring that up 😒

taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz @vetteltea @tallrock35 @iloveyou3000morgan @smartstupyd @spideybv28 @loomiscorpse @hiireadstuff

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waywardnajsepticeye · 2 years

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You know it sucks when you're happy bring genderfluid and you tell your friends and then they tell you that "you're a girl and you have female private parts blah blah blah blah-"

Like are you fucking kidding me???? Why are you trying to tell me what my gender identity is????

#im sorry like the person im talkin about is one of my close friends at school and it just sucks...#naj's shitpost #edit: it's not like i feel invalid from what she said it's just so fuckin stupid to me #edit 2: if you're genderfluid and someone tells that you're not that i assure you it's not true #edit 3: you are your own person with your own identity and don't let anyone tell you that you're this gender because you look like it #edit 4: if you're genderfluid then you're genderfluid #edit 5: don't let anyone tell you shit

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suiana · 2 months

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(blue-eyed! yandere x gn! darker eyed reader) (shitpost)

"You're so..."

"Can you stop staring at me with those eyes of yours?"

He stares at you, soulless blue eyes staring straight into your soul as you nervously rub your neck. What the fuck? Were all people with blue eyes this creepy?

"What? What's wrong with my eyes?"

He closes the distance between you two, and you can't help but feel a chill go down your spine. You involuntarily move away, feeling a bit creeped out by him.

His eyes were the one thing that always managed to creep you out. No matter how hard you tried, you'd always just be unnerved by them. They're just so... uncanny. Yeah, they're beautiful. The shade is absolutely gorgeous! But...

They're so lifeless. And he's always opening them so wide that you swear they're about to pop out at any time.

"Um... Nothing just... uh, you're a lil close, is all."

You cough out, tearing your gaze away from his as you let out a soft sigh. Damn it, you couldn't keep this up. You had to tell him your true feelings soon-

"Is it because they're blue?"

He suddenly blurts out, still staring at you intently as you feel his eyes stare holes into the back of your head. You choke on air, looking at him with a pale face. Oh no, had he figured you out?

"Don't worry, I think your eyes are absolutely gorgeous. Don't be jealous."

Ah. He hadn't.

"And besides.... your eyes are far more beautiful than mine, especially when in the sun."

He suddenly sighs dreamily, resting his head on his palm as he leans on the table. You can't help but feel slightly on edge at his behaviour. Has he always been this obsessed with your eyes?

"Your eyes are beautiful, like when the sun kisses the sky goodbye."

Your blue eyed friend suddenly smiles eerily wide at you before grabbing your hand in his.

"And I just can't help but want to stare into them for eternity."

....

Man, you knew you should've avoided this blue eyed freak.

#yandere #tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere drabbles #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere concept #blue eyed yandere #blue eyed yandere x reader #gn reader #suiana rambling #suiana brainrotting

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minhosimthings · 5 months

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Chocolate Sauce

Synopsis: In which you lick Jake's abs and leave a very angry Jake with hickeys on his stomach

Pairings: Bf!idol!Jake × fem!idol!reader

Warnings: smut, 18+ MINORS DNI, fingering, reader licks Jake's abs, oral (f and m), overstimulation, rough sex, mean dom Jake, sub reader, swearing, mention of food, choking, angry sex (meow)

A/N: GUESS WHO DROOLED WHILE WATCHING JAKE DO THE GUILTY CHALLENGE. THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE. So blame Jake not me because bitch had to do that shit on my period. I wanna touch those abs so bad it's actually so bad I hate myself. Anyways, enjoy this shitpost y'all peace.

Sim Jaeyun never failed to amaze you. Even as your boyfriend of three years, about whom you knew probably everything about, he always was succesful in pissing you off, or worse, riling you up. And sometimes when both of the phenomenons happened at the same time, it was a time of bliss for Jake.

"What the fuck Jayeun?" You threw your head back to look at your boyfriend, on whose thigh you were currently sleeping. He looked handsome as ever, hair all messy and fluffy, with the usual grin imprinted on his face. "What happened baby?" He pouted as you got up from his thigh and sat in front of him. "Please tell me I did not just see you acting like a whore on stage right now on my for you page." Jake turned his head sideways, an adorable thing he did when he was confused, and peeked into your phone. A devilish smirk formed on his face as he saw what was causing your current state of distress. "Oh that?" He mused, leaning back against the bedframe, "Yeah I did the Guilty challenge. Pretty good right? You know, Riki was saying my dancing impro-" "I don't give a fuck about the dancing Sim Jayeun." You cut him off, eyes faltering at the way he was looking at you, "I'm talking about the way you literally just showed your abs to every fucking person in that room."

To say that you were jealous was an understatement. Of course Jake had officially taken a pledge that he would never show his abs to anyone except you. And you remembered that the pledge also included not showing it to engenes.

"Aww." Jake cooed, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning into your chest, "Is my girl jealous?" Resisting the urge to kiss his strawberry lips, you decided to pick up your phone and scroll through your reels, completely ignoring your boyfriend.

"Come on baby-" Jake smirked, leaning closer to your face, "-you know you can't resist me for more than five minutes." His last words were finished in almost a rough whisper, which knocked you off your wind. "I'll forgive you if you do one thing for me." You finally responded, sitting up straight and crossing your arms. "Order away, princess." Jake cocked his head to the left, smirk ever omnipresent on his stupidly handsome face.

"Let me lick your abs."

You didn't know whether it was out of pure shock, or pure embarrassment that Jake choked on air, but he did and accidentally smacked you in the head. "Jake!" You rubbed the back of your head with your hand. "You wanna do what now?" He spoke in a unusually grave voice, looking at you with bedroom eyes.

"Sim Jayeun I think I said it clear enough." You scoffed, "I want to lick your abs. If you don't wanna do it, that's fine I guess." You shrugged your shoulders and leaned back against the bedframe, getting back to your phone. "Alright then." Jake got up swiftly from the bed, and moved out of the room, walking a pace faster than usual. You tried not to think much about it, as you scrolled through the reels again, your fingers distracting you from wherever Jake was, until you heard the sound of your fridge bang close.

"Jake what are you doing?" You quizzed as Jake walked in, a bottle held tightly in his hands. He plummeted down next to you on the bed, and leaned in, giving you a tiny peck on the cheek. "Here." He nudged the bottle into your hand, forcing you to drop your phone into your lap, which he immediately took and hid in the bedside drawer. "Jaeyun!" You reached for your phone, trying to climb over him, "Give me my phone back." "Not until you read the label of that bottle baby."

You rolled your eyes and took the bottle in your eyes, peering to read the lable written in big glittery letters. "Chocolate Sauce?" You sniggered, "What the fuck do you want me to do with it?"

"Well I figured-" Jake popped open the cap of the bottle, "-since it's not pancake season and you don't use it for anything, why don't you lick it off of my abs?"

Your eyes widened at Jake, as he leaned back further, slowly unbuttoning his white shirt. For perhaps the first time in the entire evening, you noticed how truly scrumptious Jake looked in messy hair. "Jak-" "oh come on princess." Jake leaned closer to your ear, "I know you want to do it so bad like the slut you are."

His rough voice made your legs shiver. Jake had unbuttoned his shirt already, giving you a full display of his carved chest and abs. You held out a hand to stroke it, but Jake was quick to grab it with his. "Not until you lick them baby." He let go of your hand, "Are you scared princess?"

You meekly shook your head, and removed your shirt faster than Jake could blink an eyes. He slid a hand behind to your back, fingers searching to unclasp your bra. "Or should we leave it on?" Jake removed his hand from scratching your upper back, "I wanna see those nice tits bounce around in that cute little fabric which isn't hiding shit by the way." He leaned over to kiss your cheek again, "You could have asked for something new you know. Would have loved to buy you something in pink."

You took the open Hershey's bottle in your hand, and took a deep breath before turning it upside down and letting the gooey liquid come out, drizzling over Jake's abs. Jake let out a wince as it touched his skin, probably from the cold temp of the sauce. Anything for his princess though, he thought, enduring the cold grip.

"It doesn't hurt does it?" You spoke, uncertainty grazing your tone, "Maybe I should get-" "shh princess." Jake cooed at you, lifting a hand to stroke your cheek with his thumb, "Just lick them nothing hurts." His strict tone made you falter again, as you licked your lips, leaning over his body as he settled himself in the bed.

You moved towards his abs, taking in how beautiful they looked under the brown sauce. Lowering your tongue to them, you glanced up at Jake. His eyes were closed, and his eyelids were barely moving. As dead as a fish, you thought.

"Ooh princess-" Jake let out a moan, as your tongue touched his abs. You didn't know if it was the fact that the it was probably expired, or the fact that you were licking it off of Jake's belly, but man did the sauce taste good. You really didn't have a taste for sweet things, preferring your coffee bitter and your waffles without honey. But oh god, did sugar taste good when you were licking it off of Jake's belly, your tongue dying to have a taste of his cock.

"Mm-babe-ah fuck." Jake moaned, his voice grasping for more as he traced your hair with his fingers, unconsciously gripping them harder. Your tongue moved swiftly across the board of Jake's tummy, your fingers digging into the sides of his abdomen, desperately searching for more. You could feel the bulge in Jake's pants, rubbing against your belly as you leaned further in, mouth almost begging to have a taste of your favourite poison A thin line of sweat decorated your brow, as you closed your eyes, sinking into Jake's muttered words. "Mine. All mine." He mumbled in between sweet moans. Drunk on the feathery touch of your tongue on his skin, as it moved slowly, licking up all the sticky sweet substance, he didn't even notice that he was pressing your head further and further down. "J-Jake." "Shut up and go suck my cock right now." He commanded, making you whimper as you wiped off the chocolate from your mouth. You had never seen Jake like this before, eyes akin to a wolf filled with desperate hunger.

You quickly unbuttoned Jake's pants, hands fumbling as you did, while he looked on at your figure, all trembling. He loved seeing you like this, like a lamb going off to the slaughter house. It heightened his ego greatly, seeing his princess be so obedient towards him.

You pull his jeans down and mouth at his clothed dick. You began to suck the tip and run your tongue over the slit. You loved the taste of him in your mouth. He was heavy and warm. "Fuck your mouth feels so good." Jake moaned out, his hand resting on the top of your head. You take more into your mouth and you deep throat him. He touched the back of your throat before you looked at him to start fucking your face. He pulls out before slamming back in. He does this a few times as you sputter around him. You weren't expecting him to be so hard to take as he fucked your throat. He moved against your mouth as you sucked him for everything he had. You wanted him to cum in your mouth. He pressed deeper in your throat as you gripped his thighs in hopes of him letting up.

"Fucking hell, you are such a slut." Jake chuckles as he pulls out, to see your mouth coated in his cum. "Just for you." You pant, wiping your mouth with the towel Jake handed you. "Hmm" Jake groaned, moving slightly to make space for you to rest in his arms. "...'m love you princess." He mumbled as you drifted off into sleep.

"L/N Y/N you are in big trouble." Jake's puppy eyes appeared on the screen of your phone, as you picked up the call. "You know usually people greet their partners with a 'hey babe' or a 'i love you till death'." You giggled, moving on with your laundry. Thank god it was the holidays and your members weren't there to annoy you about Jake, you thought as you slammed the washing machine door close and returned to your boyfriend's angry face. "Y/N I swear to God-" Jake sighed, plopping into a chair, "Do you know how much my stylist scolded me today? And do you wanna know the reason why?" Although you already knew what was going to come out of Jake's mouth, you decided to play innocent, wanting to make him more angry. You did always love when he was angry.

"Why baby?" You pouted, widening your eyes and setting your phone down on the table, at a mischievous angle. "You know why princess." Jake's angry tone came through again, "For all the marks you left on my stomach yesterday? They wanted to put me in a crop top today like all the members but instead, because of you, I had to stay in a fucking jacket." "Hmm" you shrugged your shoulders, "sad." You spoke, before cutting the call abruptly. You giggled in response to nobody's joke as you hopped off of the kitchen counter and opened up the fridge to find something to eat, waiting eagerly for Jake to get back home.

Anger was an emotion which was a rarity for Jake. Even when he did get angry, it would usually be playful anger, with Niki or Jay. But somehow you managed to piss him off to his guts, and as he rode in the car, with Sunghoon side eyeing his furrowed face, he thought of all the ways he could punish you as soon as he got home and layed his hands on your body.

"Ah fuck it." You curse as you burn your toast, having left it on the stove for too long. You had wasted a lot of time admiring yourself in front of the mirror, tracing your eyes over the pretty bra you wore, one of Jake's favourites. And now, as you silently waited for your boyfriend to come home, fumbling with the straps of your bra, you wondered what he was going to do to you.

The keyhole clicked twice at the sound of a key being pushed in. You barely had time to get any words out of your mouth as Jake can stomping in, a dark expression clouding his face. There was little time to brace yourself for Jake's next move. You're pressed against the wall before you can protest, although you wouldn’t dare object to this.

“You love when I make you feel good, don’t you baby? Who’s my good girl?” And that’s what did it for you, your eyes rolled back and you tightened around his fingers, but Jake wasn’t taking just that response this evening. He put his fingers in your mouth, and he asked again with raised eyebrows, “What was that? Who’s my good girl?” His fingers lingered down to your throat, applying just enough pressure so that you could still talk. “Yours, only yours” you replied. He nibbled your ear, smirk still prevalent on his face. He whispered in your ear once more,

Jake grips the backs of your thighs and lifts you up, wedging your hips with his own, keeping you steady. A new hardness presses against your core as he juts his hips into you, pure instinct taking over his movements. His cock twitches in his jeans - he needs to watch his cock sink into you, to watch your face contort in bliss when he bottoms out in your pussy. The friction on your swelling clit was rough and warm, with Jake's cock perfectly nestled atop your drenched slit. Each rough push shot pleasure through your core, but it wasn’t enough for your aching cunt.

He moves the two of you to the couch and putting you on your hands and knees before pulling your pants down. He played with your thong before pulling them off too. His tongue goes straight into your little hole which causes you to scream. He tongue fucks you for a little bit before moving up to your clit. He sucks it into his mouth which has you pushing back on his mouth. Jake continues until you are almost there but he stops.

"No-Jake." You whine, jutting out your bottom lip. "You don't get to fucking cum until I say so, got it?" Jake growls, making you whimper and sink into the couch.

He presses his cock to your hole and presses inside. The stretch felt like it would never end. As he pressed in, you felt full already and he was not even half way in. You moan as Jake whispers about you being his whore and that he isn't going to let you go. He keeps fucking up into you with fever and the only thing you could do was to take it. You had no choice with how good he was fucking you.

"Oh, fuck yes," he groaned, totally entranced by the way your pussy warped with his size, swallowing his cock into your soft walls. He bucked his hips on instinct and struck you deeper. You cried softly against your hand, trying to quiet yourself when the tip of his cock pressed against your cervix.

With another set of thrusts you became undone around him, clenching down onto Jake's cock, letting out a high-pitched moan as your orgasm flowed through you. Jake hissed through his teeth at the warm, fluttering sensation, satisfied at your soft moans falling out of your slacked mouth.

"Attagirl, just keep goin'," Jake said sweetly, pulling and pushing your hips in the same rhythm as before. The overstimulation took you over and left you whimpering, sending soft pleas of slow down, it's too much, to your boyfriend.

Your sweet pussy clenched around him and he rubbed your clit as he bounced you up and down on his dick. You got closer and closer before you climaxed. It felt as if you were drowning. You could only scream as Sam doubled his efforts and you orgasmed again. "Jake please-I"

"One more princess, just one more," he says before thrusting harder. He thrusts one last time before spilling into you. His orgasm triggered yours and you squirted a lot onto his lap. He looked down and smiled at his achievement.

"You look so fucking hot right now," He said as he kissed your neck again. "Jake, I don't think I can go another round." "Don't worry sweetheart, I know you can." He said before circling your clit.

You arch your back as his fingers slip inside of you, along side his dick. He pulled out but left his fingers in. He played with the cum inside as he fucked you with his fingers. He wanted you to cum one last time. It didn't take long before you did and almost fainted in his arms.

Jake swooped you up carefully in his arms, and carried you to the bedroom, where he cleaned you up with a towel, before settling in beside you. You crawled upto him, wrapping your arms around his waist, stroking his abs, as you listened to his heartbeat.

"I'm sorry about the hickeys." You mumbled into his chest, too ashamed to show your face. Jake smiled warmly and stroked your hair, a complete contrast to what he was minutes ago. "it's alright." He kissed the top of your forehead, "Let's not pretend like I never gave you hickeys right before your Inkigayo stages." You chuckled weakly to his words, and buried yourself under the blankets, with the taste of chocolate forever lingering in your mouth.

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silentmoths · 6 months

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A vampires guide to feeding from a hemophobic partner. Ft. Neuvillette

*Pokes head out of the shadows*

Well heya. S'been a while.

What's brought this on? it started as a minor shitpost to @crystalflygeo's musings on vampire Neuv, and her mentionings of hemophobia- you know what it'll be easier to show yall.

So thats it. an elaborate shitpost.

Neuvillete x F! Reader. NSFW. Smut, general vampire goodness, Neuvillete being a fkn routine bitch because lets face it, he is.

Neuvillete could feel it. The…the pull, the desire, the need…the hunger.

The chief justice sighs as he pours over his paperwork. He would have to tell you tonight.

“Be beloved…I am hungry.” He tells you over dinner. Whilst he did not need to eat, He always made sure to prepare and join you for your evening meals…a routine one might say, he simply enjoyed spending time with his love, any spare moments he could get.

“Is that why you made steak for me tonight?” you question, knowing well his penchant for making you more Iron-rich dishes before he himself needed to feed.

Neuvillette nods solemnly, it was for your health after all; he would be remiss if he took and took only for you to become deficient. He doesn’t miss it, the sudden draining of colour from your face, or the increase in your heartbeat.

You were nervous, you always got nervous on feeding nights, and Neuvillette desperately wishes he could give you more time, but his hunger was a fickle thing, sometimes he could go weeks without needing to feed, others it was just a few days, it all hinged on how heavy his workload was. Yet he feels like more warning might be worse, because it would only psyche out his poor darling. Despite your absolute phobia of the very sight of blood, you insisted he feed off of you and you alone, an arrangement he happily complied with.

After all, whose blood better to nourish him than his darling’s?

He was always very organised when it came to this, anything for your comfort after all. After dinner and a bath, you find yourself gently tugged to bed with him, soft, nimble fingers gently massaging over your clammy skin. Sometimes you hated how afraid you were of this process, even though it had happened many many times now, without issue. You trusted Neuvillette.

You trusted the way he spoke to you, the way he held you so gently in his arms, in the way his lips slowly travel the expanse of your throat. His murmuring compliments and praise as he slips behind you, your back pressing against his chest. Considering what he was, he always felt so…warm and inviting, welcoming, despite your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

He always starts with a kiss. Most vampires prefer the side of the throat…it’s generally seen as an easier extraction point…and yet Neuvillette does not, not after discovering your aversion to blood; he instead chooses the nape, not as easy, and a little longer to extract his fill from, but this way, you never had to see a drop, and he could hold you close. “Are you ready, my darling?” At your nod, he hums, thanking you quietly before sinking his fangs in, using the light scarring from the times he’d done this before as a guide.

Your blood tastes like the finest ambrosia to him, like the first sips of water after being stranded in the desert for weeks. If he never tasted another person’s blood again in his life, and only had yours, he would die a happy man.

He rumbles softly as you whimper, it stung, of course it did, even he understood that this was not a comfortable process. His arms cross over your chest, lovingly holding you close and steady, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles into your exposed shoulders.

He drinks and comforts until he’s had his full, until he can feel the warmth in his cheeks return. He watches and listens to you, always keeping a constant eye on your condition, he would never ever forgive himself if he overindulged and made you suffer for it. The next part is a rather rigorous and rushed process. His fangs retract and one of his hands quickly reaches for a disinfecting wipe, the moment he pulls his lips away, he presses the wipe over the wound, cleaning it up as he coo’s softly at you.

“You did well, my darling, it’s over now…let me take care of you.” he whispers in your ear, tone thick with love and joy. He feels much better now, and it was his turn to make you feel better.

He cleans and dresses the wound with careful hands, as he cleans you up, he tries his best to clean himself up, any errant droplet of your blood on his lips is licked away. “Rest a moment my sweet, I will be right back.” He whispers to you before vanishing into the bathroom to brush his teeth and rinse his mouth. Not exactly a necessity, but if it helped abate your fears in any way? He’d do it. You’re still a little shaky when he returns, but now that he’s sure that there is nothing, no sign of blood anywhere, you couldn’t see your wound, and he didn’t smell of it, he can finally descend to pull you into his strong, yet gentle arms, so he can pepper kisses along your face and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

He’ll ask you what you want as a treat, it could be ice cream, it could be a slice of the sixteen-slice a day cake, he didn’t care how late it was, he would procure it no matter what. Anything for his darling.

This was, is and always will be, the usual routine.

However, one day, your dear Iudex, has another idea.

It starts, as all feeding evenings tend to. He cooks you a hearty, iron-rich meal, he warns you. Everything follows the usual, until you’re clean and showered, skin soft and silky from the fancy shower products he always insisted on keeping for you. (He had his own, but he was partial to body products that contained little scents.)

You sit in bed, awaiting your husband, and are taken aback when he walks in totally naked. His slim, yet sculpted physique on full display for you, pale skin unmarred by any scar or scratch, perfect in every way. “N-Neuvie?” you stammer as he crawls along the bed towards you, his gaze…sweet, yet predatory. “I thought-” “Oh my love, make no mistake, I will be feeding tonight…I just thought I’d try something…new to keep your thoughts from straying, hm?” Just what had you gotten yourself into?

Soon enough, you find yourself, face and chest pressed into the pillows your husband absolutely ploughs into you from behind, your cries muffled by the silken sheet, his hands pressing over yours, his fingers tangling between your own. You were trapped, well and truly trapped; you can't even recall the last time he’d destroyed your pussy like this.

You hear his growl from above you, and you moan for it. It wasn’t often Neuvillette lost control like this, but when he did? It was its own form of ecstasy.

You’re so caught in pleasure, you never once felt the prick of his fangs, the only indicator of a change was the way his hands moved to press your chest into the bed further, holding your top half still whilst he continues to thrust into your sopping cunt like it was the last thing he’d ever do. You orgasm with a scream of his name before falling limp, fuzzy and barely-conscious against the sheets, only able to moan weakly when his hips snap forward, burying his cock as deep into you as it can before he cums, filling you with his hot seed.

That’s when you expect him to bite, when you’re in this soft, gauzy space of post orgasm. Yet he simply quietly tends to you, you feel the usual dressing gently press over the back of your neck and you blink in confusion.

“N-neuvie-” you whimper, his response is to gently take your hand and press a kiss to your knuckles.

“It’s all over, my love. You did so well, you didn’t even notice.”

“W-wha..?”

You watch as he slowly rolls you over onto your back, giving your aggrieved spine a break after all that bending and arching. He reaches for the pitcher of water by the bedside, pouring you a glass first and helping you take small sips, before he takes a glass for himself, it wasn't quite his teeth-brushing routine, but for once, he didn’t feel it wholly necessary.

You’re shocked, you really hadn’t felt it, there wasn't any pain.. “So.” He practically purrs as he leans over you to rub his nose against yours “what does my darling beloved want as her reward?” He asks, shifting some of his silky white hair from his face.

“C-could we…do it like this more often?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper. This was so…out of the ordinary for him, to change up the routine…so you figure you might as well change up the reward.

He tilts his head at you before chuckling, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips as his hands move down to your back, massaging at the sore spots and making you groan appreciatively.

“I think that can be arranged.”

Taglist: @stygianoir@meimeimeirin@ainescribe@dustofthedailylife@rjssierjrie@crystalflygeo@asoulsreverie@zomzomb1e@moraxsthrone@mysnowmanandmebaby@inlustris-is-slowly-dying@pvbbyb0y

#Silentmoth writes #man that tag has some dust on it now #Genshin Neuvillette #Neuvilette x reader #Neuvilette x reader smut #moths moots #its crys!!

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dmercer91 · 6 months

Note

could you do nsfw hcs for trevor zegras

nsfw headcanons, tz11

he’s soooo 🥴 like who needs to look like that???

trevor is just a brat.

essentially choosing the vibes of the night every night cause he’s got daydreams of him fucking you a trust they’ll be made real

fucking your throat always

loving on you in a way that makes it known he’s prepping you to be used however he pleases for a better part of the night

chuckling at your requests to slow down or your incoherent babbles

chuckling at literally any of your attempts to assert any kind of power

unless of course he’s politely requesting to do unspeakable (new) things to you- in which case he’s suddenly leaving sweet kisses all over your jaw and tummy

if he’s giving you head and you start to close your legs he just pries them open and mumbles incoherently to make you even worse off

blatant jealousy issues that directly translate to marking you up

blatant jealousy issues that directly translate to having you mark him up. cause he wants everyone to see that he takes good care of you, he’s real proud of his scratch marks

big fan of making you watch him in a mirror while you’re perched up in his lap.

he sends some risky texts/pictures (videos too) while he’s on roadies and if he’s ever graced with some in return he sends voice memos telling you how pretty you are and just overall praising your entire existence

he buys you toys just so he gets to watch you squirm from them

10/10 passtime for him is holding a wand to your clit and watching you writhe. he’s got hooded eyes and parted lips- truly he’s so enamoured with your pleasure

“oh, baby. does that feel good?” while he’s literally about to cream his boxers listening to you whimper his name

you let him train your throat and he thinks it’s the hottest thing on the face of the planet when it pays off

the first time he slid all the way in with no resistance he immediately had to back out and give himself a second

“fuck. you’re molded to fit me, aren’t you? you were carved straight from heaven just for me to have. mine”

he’s just obsessed with you

he’ll never get enough

that shitpost that was like ‘i can’t fix him. i can fuck him though, that’ll calm him down’ that’s trevor

he likes to make you try and ride him after you’ve already come far too many times and when you’re doing an overall questionable job he cooes and teases that you’re too fucked out to be good for him

then he starts meeting the rolls of your hips and you jolt and stop completely so you can grip onto him

he puts on a strong facade to mask how good you make him feel and it’s rare that he slips unless you’re sucking him off

he likes missionary with your legs hooked over his shoulders cause he likes to look down at you when you scream for him.

he usually props a pillow under your back and you always try to rid of it or squirm away to avoid overstimulation and he gets a good chuckle from it

the very first time you guys went all night and every time since he’ll give you ‘intermission’ which to him was just incessant teasing while he desensitized

blowing on your clit to watch you jump from the cool air

nipping at the skin of your thighs

coaxing you into his arms so he can tie your wrists to the headboard and get you ready for more

rewarding you with kisses before telling you he’s getting you a surprise and coming back with an eye cover

him genuinely asking if you trust him and his heart and cock twitching when you say yes and mean it

promising him you’ll tell him when enough’s enough and you need a break or to stop

him promising you he’ll learn you like you’re his major for the rest of his life so he can make you feel like absolute heaven and him doing good at keeping that promise

soft moments or lighthearted jokes when you’re overwhelmed before he asks if you want to clean up or keep going

him always giving the sweetest aftercare even if he was soft that night cause he knows that regardless he draws it out

no seriously quickies are like his personal hell he would rather just be late

cleaning you up with a cool cloth or running you a bath and giving you a scalp massage

drying you off and putting you in loose clothes so you don’t feel constricted

putting a little of his cologne on the neck of his shirt you’re wearing to comfort you

cuddling you up on the couch and putting on a movie while he changes the sheets, puts everything away, sets up some water and ibuprofen for the morning in case, and orders your comfort foods

swaddling you up in his arms while you eat and after you eat and peppering you with so so many kisses

you playing with his hair while you doze off and him carrying you to your bed once the movies over

#e’s headcanons !#trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras smut #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #ohhhhhh my god i hate how bad i need him

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lostuntothisworld · 1 month

Text

Spaghetti theory time:

The "Luka lying to Ladybug about her secret identity after he was so fired up in Truth only to lie to her in Wishmaker" salt has died down for the most part, but I would like to bring it back up.

I'm gonna do you all a favor and copypasta the transcript below, because I know nobody is going to rewatch the episode.

Marinette: I'm sorry about earlier. There were mosquitoes on the boat, I thought we needed some insect repellent but the drug store was closed so I had to- Luka: Shh, listen, the song of the water. If you listen carefully at this very spot under the bridge, you'll hear a melody. (They listen to the river and smile at each other.) You know, I never knew my father and my mom would never bring herself to tell me. So when I just couldn't deal with it all, I would take refuge here and the melody of the water would console me. What about you, Marinette? Where do you go when you disappear? Marinette: Uh- Luka: You tell me, I'll accept it. If you're still in love with Adrien, I'll understand. I won't be jealous you know. Marinette: That's not it, not at all. Luka: Whatever it is, I just want it to be the honest truth. Marinette: The truth, Luka… is the only thing I can't tell you.

Then we get shocked Luka. He get's akumatized/amokized, and the scene continues:

Shadow Moth: Truth, I am Shadow Moth. I'm giving you the power to force people to tell you their most sacred secrets. Luka: (struggling against it) Truth needs to be shared, not taken by force, Shadow Moth! Marinette: (shocked what he just said) Uh! Shadow Moth? No! Luka, please resist, I am so sorry! Shadow Moth: Why should you resist when she doesn't trust you? Luka: Marinette does trust me! Marinette: I do! Of course I do! Shadow Moth: If she trusted you, then she would tell you the truth! (Upon hearing this, Luka becomes shocked, so he kneels.) Accept my power and you will know everything. And all I ask of you in return is to expose Ladybug and Cat Noir's little secrets. Luka: (succumbing) Run, Marinette!

...

Luka does NOT want to force the truth out of Marinette. He tells her to run! And it's very much implied it triggered a traumatic past when his mother wouldn't tell him who his father was. What if his mom used the exact phrasing of "The truth is the one thing I can't tell you," when things got bad? If there's one thing Miraculous is good at is shocking the audience with traumatic backstories. I have my own theories as to what Luka and Juleka's traumatic backstories are... And are we really going to victim blame Luka for not being able to resist, especially when resisting Gabemoth and breaking akumatization was not actually known to be something that can be done at this point? Onto Wishmaker:

Lots of people are upset that Luka lied to Marinette at the end of Wishmaker with regards to hers and Chat's secret identities. They want Marinette to be angry with him, and for Luka to face consequences. Lying is supposed to be bad, isn't it? And Luka got akumatized into a villain who was dead set on finding the Truth, and he just lied to her about it. Inexcusable! Which is a valid interpretation if you take it at face value.

Now let's fast forward to Migration, and a little theory I've had since the episode aired: Secret identities and masks are a metaphor for being queer. Let me explain the metaphor in more detail: by rewinding back to Wishmaker and the metaphor presented to us then.

In Wishmaker, child Alec was bullied for his big hair, which he was very proud of. So he shaved it all off to fit in with what society wanted him to be. His akumatized form had a bald cap, and in the end Alec decides to "live his truth," (Astruc's words not mine), and essentially wear a big wig and become a drag queen. Iconic.

Oh yeah, and his nightmare in the season 5 finale was his father shaving off his hair.

Gonna have to link this shitpost here, just for an interesting comparison.

(It's interesting to note that both Griffe Noire and alternate Adrien have partially shaved heads, and should be included closer to the bald end of the chart in the shitpost)

Anyway, it's a bit of an unwritten rule that you don't out another person, even if you know they are queer. You have to wait for them to come to you with this reveal. It's sensitive information, and could potentially be extremely dangerous for the person being outed. A similar parallel to being a superhero with a secret identity.

Using this logic, it's not surprising the animators made Chat surprised when Luka detransformed in front of him in Ephemeral even tho he had a front row seat to Luka in Miracle Queen.

Onto the next scene of interest:

Marinette: If I tell you, things will never be the same between us again. (shakes her head) It'll mess up everything, maybe even destroy it. Alya:(voice breaking) Marinette, I'm your very best friend. Marinette: And I… I'm Ladybug.

I was actually shocked with this scene back the first time I watched it. Yes, the reveal, but also how everything in it is presented. To the dialogue, to Marinette's reasonings and how it'll mess up everything between the girls, and how everything will change and be destroyed, to Alya's oddly somber reaction to finding out her favorite superhero is her best friend, and then the subsequent hug.

It's framed as a coming out scene.

So let's circle back to Luka lying to Ladybug back in Wishmaker, and keeping that secret until Migration. His choices there make a whole lot more sense with a queer lens.

Don't believe me? Remember, Migration (the episode where Luka's lies and secrets are brought to light), is the episode that Luka shoves Adrien in a closet and he falls out of the closet as Chat Noir.

Those bedroom eyes at Luka sure do make a whole lot more sense here.

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #cat noir #chat noir #luka couffaine #miraculous ladybug theory #ml theory #I can't believe Lukadrien and Marigami is endgame #marigami #lukadrien #viperion

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tartigglez · 1 year

Text

"would you?" pt.1

zhongli x f!reader

・❥・smut with plot, mostly

・❥・1.8k

・❥・16+ light yandere!zhongli, reader is called princess, light brat taming, reader gets picked up, hickeys, aftercare, reader turned adpetus i guess, they get engaged lol, reader gets sick at one point, flashbacks in orange, cliffhanger bc pt.2 will come soon.

・❥・hi folks! new theme, things are gonna be a lot tidier around here from now on, and hopefully a little more serious, i'll be making a new blog for shitposting methinks, enjoy the fic! (ps. sorry celeste, i love you really <3)

rex lapis was not allowed to fall in love with mortals. the laws of the land, of celestia itself, forbade it. but then again, who has ever had the courage to tell the rex lapis that he couldn’t do something? when he has the ability to end them right then and there, who would ever say no to him?

the prime of adepti has, of course, never once doubted his capability to share his power and transform a mortal into an adeptus, but this wouldn’t be right, it wouldn't be proper, now would it?

would it?

if the power of love had blinded even the very strongest of the archons, how could there possibly be any hope for anyone else?

and so, these circumstances resulted in rex lapis, the god of contracts, doing what he does best, writing up a contract. a contract which was not really a contract, one which he knew didn’t have any real value, because it didn’t matter if you signed it or not, he was still going to carry out his end of the bargain. he would change the form of your body, because he knew that he never wanted to let you go. he wanted to become one with you, to merge with you. he never wanted you to leave…

it started with the basics, sharing his power, his authority. he had to consider how to alter your very being, to change you. then it came to him, he needed to ask you something important, something so crucial to his plan that it couldn’t be avoided, something he had wanted to ask you ever since the moment you both met, but he knew he had to restrict himself, to hold himself back. archons, he was so done with holding himself back.

it was on a late night stroll in liyue harbour when he asked you, when he took your hand in his, when he pulled out a small box from his jacket, and dropped down, on to one knee…

was he seriously doing this? was this actually happening? you never would’ve expected it to be right now but…

“darling, will you marry me…?”

you suddenly felt… lightheaded. not because you wanted to say no, simply because you loved him so much, and he was finally ready for the contract.

“y-yes… yes! i will! i will!”

after giving you a gentle kiss on the back of your hand and putting the ring onto your finger, he stood up from his kneeling position. he then grabbed you by the waist, pressed your lips together, and kissed you, to seal your promise to each other.

his plan was finally in action.

when the pair of you finally got home from your walk, the first thing you did was pin him against the front door, pressing your lips upon his, so desperate for his attention, despite the fact that you already knew he rarely ever paid any to things that weren’t you. he gripped your wrists and rapidly pulled them together in order to wrap one of his hands around them, flipping you over and trapping you against the door, and you quickly realised how this was going to go.

“already in need, princess? how lovely” gosh he was a tease. for someone who was normally so reserved and calm, he certainly changed his tune when he wanted you, when he needed you.

you could feel your cheeks heating up when having to admit to your longing for him, “jus’ want you,”

“well i’m right here, aren't i?” the mock fell straight from his lips, dark, lustful, needy.

he tilted his head to the side, closing the gap between you both to breathe hot air near your lips, slowly moving closer, and closer, and closer, until your lips met his, gently locking together as he kissed you. at first he was soft, longing, simply showing his love for you. but, of course, it mustn't be forgotten that zhongli, rather, rex lapis, will always have dragonic instincts, and of course they were going to take over…

still pinned against the door, he became more harsh and needy in his kiss, leaning into you, as you began to feel his fangs brush against your tongue. upon letting go of your hands, he gripped onto your waist with one hand, staring you in the eyes, serious, but loving.

“is this okay, my love?”

“more than okay, ‘li”

“good.”

he quickly viced his lips on your neck, moving his large, veiny hands down your body slowly, listening for your pretty little breaths, until one reached your thigh, the other resting on your ass. he quickly picked you up, moving your legs to encircle his waist, still kissing and biting your neck rapidly, never staying in one place for more than a few seconds. as you wrapped your arms around his neck, sweetly playing with the little curl that sits at the back of his neck, he began manoeuvring you, slowly walking up the stairs to your bedroom.

fuck, it was going to be a long night…

the first thing you felt as you woke up was zhongli’s hands -now larger than usual, having large black and gold talons at the end- carding through the hair on one side of your head, gently massaging your scalp. you were both completely naked, the warm, soft skin of his chest against your cheek as you rested your head upon him. you moved slightly, feeling the sweaty, sticky air between the two of you. truly, whilst zhongli was normally a kind and caring lover, who only ever wanted to make you feel good, this would sometimes prove to be at your own expense later. you were exhausted, and in pain, not horribly, but it was undoubtedly noticeable.

“darling, you're awake” his dark, mahogany voice echoed through your ears, reminding you of the sweet, yet vicious praises it whispered against your neck the night before.

“are you okay?” this time, his tone had changed. he was nothing but sweet, loving, kind. he seemed genuinely worried about you. he always was, after things like this happened between the two of you. he was always so frightened that he would hurt your soft, frail mortal body. he was afraid that he would inflict pain on you when being caught up in the moment.

“i’m okay, just… sore”

you moved slightly, attempting to roll off him, and onto your back upon the mattress. however, this failed, the aching in your muscles taking over as you collapsed back on to him, feeling a sticky fluid near your crotch, and starting to recall the events of last night…

“c’mon pretty girl, you can take it. just one more, hm? just one more. you can do that for me princess, can’t you?” he was thrusting into you at insane, unnatural speeds, hitting the very deepest points inside, teasing you with his words, but giving you everything with his body..

you gently mewled into his shoulder, trying desperately to take his cock, but it was so much, so, so, much. “i can take it ‘li, have to take it fo-”

“i told you, that’s not my name, princess. behave.”

“m’sorry, m-morax. so s-sorry”

just hearing the whisper of the name he had only been called so many moons ago coming from you was enough to send him over the edge, enough to send him spiralling, enough for him to spill globs of sweet, sticky cu-

“should i run you a bath sweetheart? perhaps it would help relieve some of the aching, hm?” his gentle voice interrupted your train of thought, as the pads of his fingers drifted ever so lightly over your back, providing comfort and warmth.

“yeah, yeah that’d be nice, ‘li,” you softened your voice as he gently pulled the duvet off the two of you, sitting up slowly, and helping you move your form off his body, softly placing you on the mattress. you pulled the duvet up over you again, as he made his way to the chest of drawers next to your bed, grabbing a pair of boxer briefs, and putting them on, despite the fact that he was still covered in both your release, and his own.

“i’ll be back soon, darling,”

placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, he left the room, making his way to the bathroom. the acoustics there echoed the sound of water running out of the baths tap, as well as zhongli… lighting candles? he wanted everything to be perfect for you, because although his immediate primal instinct was to mate, the one that came right after was to look after you.

in all truth, he knew that you enjoyed this, of course he did, but there was some part of him that would always feel a pang of culpability deep within his chest. like a warning to himself. he was going to hurt you if he didn’t change you, so changing you was what he had to do…

it happened on an afternoon a few weeks later. zhongli was taking care of you, because you were sick. nothing serious, just a cold, but knowing him, you would be in bed for a week. under normal circumstances he was protective over you, so when you were ill, this was of course going to be extremely amplified.

it would be a lie if zhongli said he understood mortal sickness, but he tried his hardest to, and knew that rest would help. still, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for you, sick and weak. he also couldn’t help but feel that now would be an appropriate time to ask you the question hes been intending to for a very, very long time.

“my darling,” he seated himself on the bed next to you, allowing you to drop your head onto his shoulder, still sniffling, nose red from the silk handkerchiefs he insisted you use, as opposed to tissues, which would be rougher. “i have something to ask you, and i’m not sure how you’ll react,”

“what’s up ‘li?” you move to sit up straight, crossing your legs and looking him in the eye.

“i’ve been thinking…” he trailed off. zhongli only ever trails off when he doesn’t know how to phrase something, when he’s afraid he’s going to say something wrong.

“what is it? y’know nothing you say can ever affect me that badly, right? i mean, i’m literally engaged to an archo-”

“what if i turned you into an adeptus?”

“w-what?”

“what if i could make you stay with me, by my side forever…? would you do it?”

would you?

#cael writes #genshin x reader #zhongli x reader #rex lapis #zhongli #genshin impact #zhongli x you #morax x reader #morax #morax x y/n #here you go celeste #a meal

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streaming-yn · 2 years

Note

can wwe have some shy!streamer and dsmp streamer duo names pls?? :3

yes yes ofc :)!!

p! cc! multiple x shy! y/n

included: Tommy, tubbo, jack manifold, dream

nothing about the reader is specified except they're shy and a streamer, though it was written with minor!reader in mind lol

Tommy

u see fans were gonna go w pressure duo since the first time y'all interacted he carried every convo y'all ever had and you were just like "ah... um, yeah heh;;" so it was like, the pressure to try and make convo cause u felt guilty that he started and carried them all 😭✋

but then someone was like "y'all is that a bit too close to peer pressure duo??", it was split but eventually jitterduo got more popular so everyone switched to that :)

named jitterduo because you both got the jitters!! Tommy is just extroverted so it seems like he has the jitters and you're just super nervous/shy so you do have the jitters

pls ur duo name is cute </3 /pos

Tubbo

pickles duo

allow me to explain:

every pickles duo artist has drawn that pic at least once btw, anyway

at first it was a joke then they were like yes yes so true and bam is was ur genuine duo name

the joke surfaced from one of your first interactions and how that energy lasted through the friendship

you left the voice channel with multiple of the dsmp members to chill in a different vc for a little because all that social stimulation at once was getting overwhelming for you

but you promised chat you'd rejoin after you recharged your social battery (most of them didn't push and were reminding you to take care of yourself first)

after a little bit tubbo realized you were gone, and he knew you were shy, it was basically common knowledge to anyone who has seen any of your content, and ngl he felt a little guilty so he left vc and joined yours!

he asked if you were alright and if you needed him to "tell them to shut their faces", you, of course, declined with a little laugh

alas it was rhetorical and he left your vc anyways 😕 you talked to chat before tubbo rejoined and told you it should be ok to rejoin the main vc without getting a headache now

your defender against Tommy /lh

is it purely bc it is just another reason to bicker? uh, maybe but we don't talk abt it 💀

jack manifold

buffer duo / buffering duo

look at me at tell me I'm wrong

there's a popular hc that c!jack is a cyborg type thing and he's just overall associated with robots

what do electronics (including most robots) do that causes them to pause for a while / stutter?

buffer

as in load

bc ur shy so u stumble over your words a lot and just stay quiet usually at first

aka u buffer

BAM duo name 😌💕

Dream

what if I told u it was end duo 😭

ok let me explain,, dream has defeated the ender dragon many times

he usually wins his manhunts

you're shy, and not very good at socializing

so what do you want to happen to pretty much every social interaction?

you want it to end

another duo name that was 100% satire, literally just a shitpost for laughs and then the fans ran w it 💀

#asked and answered #anon #streamer!reader #streamer!au #streamer!y/n #shy!reader #shy!y/n #dreamwastaken x reader #mcyt x reader #dream x reader #platonic tommy x reader #platonic tommyinnit x reader #platonic x reader #platonic tubbo x reader #tubbo x reader #jack x reader #jack manifold x reader #platonic fanfic

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enzstr · 6 months

Text

Long Live The Queen | K. Bakugo

A story where families of two connects a pair to go through their life together with having no choice. Things get messy, but will their bubble burst? That's one secret you won't know unless you read.

Just a small detail about the reader: Reader loves writing and journaling. It's your passion but as a princess, you only had to make your kingdom proud by serving and marrying a king.

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x reader

💭: This was actually my draft few months ago but I don't really like it so it'll be just a shitpost.

Chapter one: Forgive and Forget

19th May.

Being part of the royal family was not simple but not difficult either. That's how it was for the princess. Every time she's at the kingdom, all she feels is sorrow and spiritlessness while roaming around the kingdom. The queen, also her mother, mentioned that the princess will be the next queen in line to serve her kingdom.. but without a king?

The princess has had her future planned since she was a small girl. She didn’t want a man to be satisfied, hell she didn’t need anyone to make her feel overjoyed. Princess (Y/n) didn’t even want to be a princess, living in a royal environment while having servants to serve her. Most people would think it’s a dream to be living in an environment like royalty, but not her. All she wanted to do was be an aspiring journalist, writer, any career that will not treat her the same as anything related to royalty. That was her dream.

“Her Royal Highness. Her Majesty called me to tell me that the Royal Briefing is starting in an hour. Shall I start the bath now?” Her thoughts were soon disrupted but a smile formed on her face.

“Yes, Roberta. And I told you to not call me that anymore. You’re part of the family, remember?” Y/n had a look of sympathy while speaking to her. Even though Roberta is just a servant, she’s looked out for her since her birth.

“I know.. I know.. But it is a force of habit. If His Majesty or Her Majesty notices me lacking in my work, who knows?” Roberta looked down while she sighs in disappointment. Princess (Y/n) rested her hands on her shoulder as she grinned from ear to ear. Oh Roberta already knows what look she just gave to her.

“Not to worry Roberta! I will not let them harm you and your family, you have my word! Well I’m going to get ready for the brief meeting. Bye!” Before Roberta could speak, (Y/n) had already run off to her chamber with speed. Roberta sighed and smiled then continued with her work.

As Princess (Y/n) arrived at her chamber, she glanced at the time and her eyes widened, she really did take her time and is thus rushing to change for the royal briefing. 5 minutes had passed and she was still struggling to put on her dress, loud grunts could be heard promptly before she walked out of her chamber like nothing happened.

Roberta heard running footsteps from upstairs and chuckled at the clumsy girl. Princess (Y/n) was muttering under her breath while walking into the briefing room.

“Her Royal Highness has arrived!” The Lord Steward announced as everyone's eyes were on her and she smiled awkwardly while walking at a fast pace to The Queen.

“Where on earth were you?! You were supposed to be here 2 minutes ago.” The queen aggressively whispers through her clenched teeth. She hates when (Y/n) arrives late to any meeting. It didn’t matter if it was 1 minute late, or 3 minutes late, it’s still counted as late.

“I’m sorry, I lost track of time...” (Y/n) apologized, Princess (Y/n) never spoke much with her stepmother, they weren’t close, never tried to be. She’d like it to stay that way.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m here to discuss something important. About you.” The queen spoke in the most blunted way to her and turned back to everyone. On the other hand, Princess (Y/n) tilted her head in confusion at what she just said.

“The main reason why I called a brief meeting is about The Princess. I may have made some minor mistake, but as I thought more into it, I figured it would be for her own good.” The more The Queen spoke, the more confused Princess Y/n was.

“As you all know, Princess (Y/n) is going to be the next queen once I retire. But because of the minor mistake, she’s going to be the next queen in line for another kingdom.”

“Kingdom of Orane.”

Princess (Y/n) immediately spat out her water and looked at her mother in shock. She knew that The Queen did this on purpose so that she wouldn’t need to serve her kingdom. Her face was filled with rage and fury.

“How could you, Mother?! You did this on purpose. I know you did! Was this payback from all the things I made you crazy about? I can’t believe you!” Her mother looked into her eyes with a cold stare and shook her head, feeling as though her daughter was acting crazy and immature.

“(Y/n), some things just won’t come easy to you. Look at you, you’re a princess, start acting like one. You should be grateful that you’ve been born into this family. You are to be heading to the Kingdom of Orane first thing in the morning and that is final.” The Queen and the other upperclassmen proceed out of the door leaving her with her emotions holding back. This was never expected from The Queen. Nonetheless, her own mom, sending her away just so she wouldn’t rule her kingdom.

20th May.

This is it. Princess (Y/n) is getting shipped to the Kingdom of Orane for good. No last goodbyes and promises from her family. How cruel could The Queen even be? Especially to her own daughter, her only daughter?

The door creaked and Princess (Y/n)'s head shot up, only to see a sad Roberta dragging her feet towards her. She didn't want her to leave since she was the only thing that kept Roberta positive, other than her family.

"I'm sorry I have to leave this kingdom, Roberta. It all just happened so fast and.. I didn't know this would happen, and you know that too right, Roberta?"

"Please, don't feel sorry Princess (Y/n).. It is my job as a servant.. although I will miss you." Roberta went in for a tight hug and it was really comforting.

(Y/n) hugged her back exuberantly as a response. Soon she had to break away from the hug and had to get going to the Kingdom of Orane.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #mha bakugou #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #dynamight #bakugo x female reader #mha #mha x reader #bnha bakugou #katsuki x reader #my hero academia #fanfic #fanfiction

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

Note

Aita for literally forgetting my mutual? Twitter warning.

So about 4 years ago I made some new friends and acquaintances in a fandom I'm in for many years. They are very cool and intimidating, but this particular person is really the boss. She's a serious social media person and I just go there to shitpost. So I never got that close with her. Let's call her Dana.

In those years she and I barely spoke, we were never close, no real connection besides we're in the same fandom and we have a few friends in common. Dana posts everything on her account, it's like a normie account with tons of discourse and selfies along with all things pop culture. She also deactivates from time to time.

A year ago I made a new side account to talk about a new hyperfixation. Dana was also into that so she followed me along with some of my other mutuals. It's a small fandom so I made a bunch of new friends on this side quickly. Dana followed me but never interacted with me on this side, not even likes, I messaged her a few times and got a grand total of two replies.

I didn't really care about her attention, but just to curate my feed I muted her. This is where my memory is faulty. I have a habit of hard/ softblocking MIA or bot accounts regularly, I also do this to accounts I have followed but muted for a long time. Cause I get anxious.

And I may have softblocked Dana 6-7 months ago.

Cut to last week. I got a message from Dana saying she just reactivated and saw that I wasn't her mutual from my new account, what's going on. Not remembering anyone called Dana, I smartly replied from the notification, "Who is this?"

I'm not sure if she deactivated for 6-7 months soon after I softblocked or if she noticed the change just now. She was out of sight, out of mind. I can't tell you what she did.

Anyway I didn't get a reply, also I was busy and couldn't check at the time. Later when I checked the message in my inbox I saw the older messages and remembered The Dana. I apologized and tried to explain. She replied one lol. Nothing else.

Then a mutual friend asked if something happened because Dana was fuming a little at me in her priv and said something to imply she was really offended. I didn't want to know that, it's her priv, but I do and I feel bad.

So? Did it make sense? How much did I fuck up?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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piived · 4 months

Text

Justice is Swift (Vengeance is Sweet) — Ch.1 Shitposts

master post || chapter 1 || ch.2 memes ->

obligatory memes & shitposts for chapter one of jisvis :)

Danny, finally experiencing the horrors that are ice-breakers: What in the fresh hell is this

Bernard, who has been subjected to miserable ice-breakers his entire life: Don't tell my boyfriend but I would literally rather be kidnapped by the cult I used to be a part of right now

Danny, realizing this guy might be as traumatized as himself: Jazz is going to be so proud of me for making a friend

Danny casually making a morbid joke: Shit, am I being weird?

Bernard, also uses comedy as a coping method: Oh mood.

Danny: Oh cool we're bonding :D

Danny, walking home from orientation dead on his feet: sees a mugging happening

Danny, supposed to be laying low: Well, I have no choice but to stop this

Danny: turns invisible and beats the crap out of the asshole

Mugger: Holy shit did I just get beat up by a ghost?

Oracle, watching surveillance: Holy shit did that dude just get beat up by a ghost?

Jazz: So how’s life going without ghost attacks to worry about?

Danny, actively punching a mugger: Uhhh, yeah it’s so peaceful :)

Jason, on patrol catching sight of a cute guy walking alone through an alley: This guy’s gonna get mugged I better stalk him and make sure he gets home safe

Danny, getting mugged because he was distracted by someone stalking him: uses his powers instinctively despite trying to lay low

Danny: Well, fuck.

Jason: Oh shit he’s a meta, Bruce is going to kill me when I bring him home

Jason, wanting to spend more time with the cute meta he’s intrigued by: I’ll walk you home

Danny: The fuck you will, stalker.

Jason: I must know all of this guy’s secrets, let me interrogate him and hope he knows I’m flirting

Danny, sweating because someone’s getting too close to the truth: TIME TO BULLSHIT MY WAY OUT OF THIS!

Danny: What a fucking discriminatory asshole, how dare you throw baseless accusations at me—

Jason: ABORT ABORT ABORT

Danny, furious: easily pushes Jason Built-Like-A-Tank Todd back with zero effort

Jason, turned on by people that can beat him up: Gee, I really hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

Also Jason: Damn my heart must be beating that fast because that meta is unsettling

Jason, sweating and ignoring his boner: No other reason…

Babs: Tim I need your help

Tim: With what?

Babs: …There might be a ghost.

Tim, having flashbacks to his ghost hunter phase that he dropped because it was bullshit: Bullshit.

Tim, watching the video and already pulling out his whiteboards again: Holy shit there might be a ghost.

#jisvis #jisvis ch.1 shitposts #vee creates

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sailorsenshishitposter · 3 months

Text

Main MGR cast as parents

This started off as a shitpost but by the end I realize I kind of just made it realistic and probably started venting. Not saying which but some of these are based off real events.

I would like to say "You're fucked." on all of them but that would be cheating so I guess this will be best to worst.

Raiden: He already is a father so that puts him way ahead of everyone else. You probably won't see him around much due to "work". Seems like the kind of guy to feel bad about it and then spoil you when he returns. You don't know why he's so secretive but you grow up thinking that he's a spy.

Samuel: His father was murdered while he was young and he hasn't moved on from it. Would probably keep thinking he's going to fuck everything up and worries about you being able to defend yourself. He trains you the same way his family has done for generations and makes sure that you become a skilled fighter. Would tell constant dad jokes.

Armstrong: You'll rarely ever see him and when you do then it will most likely be your family being together in a televised event. Expect to grow up with many security precautions like needing guards while travelling (should he become president) and you'll probably be expected to try out for collage football. At least he makes the mother of all omletes though.

Mistral: She has extra arms that would be helpful with caring for a baby (feeding, changing, rocking etc.). She killed the guys that murdered her parents so she'll probably kill anyone that tries to get close to you. You don't get to complain about not visiting grandma's like everyone else or she hands you a knife and makes you learn how to stab a swarm of dwarf gekkos.

And we have a tie for worst. Sundowner and Monsoon.

In no particular order

Sundowner: Let's be honest. You were probably adopted because let's face it. Who's going near this man and surviving? He picks you out of the rest because he sees all your anger issues and thinks it will be like having his own mini me around. He will encourage you to fight and get bloody even if it's from something as small as squashing a bug to shanking another child on the school yard with a pencil. It doesn't matter to him. After all kids are cruel and he wants a worthy successor that he can mold.

Monsoon: How the he'll did this guy end up becoming a father? You aren't really sure how you ended up existing but that doesn't really matter. It's a similar situation to Raiden but worse. This guy used to work for the mafia so expect to grow up with body guards so that you aren't kidnapped or killed. He'll take his limbs apart and put body parts in your pocket and then complain about a toddler being afraid of him. "Why are kids so weak?" Will be serious one moment probably disociating and then make a joke about memes. Fails to realized that trauma is also passed down genetically meaning you're pretty much fucked.

#mgrr #metal gear rising revengeance #half shitpost #half serious #raiden mgr #raiden #mgr raiden #samuel rodrigues #jetstream sam #senator armstrong #mistral mgr #monsoon mgr #sundowner mgr #Mother of all omletes #mistral using drawf gekko arms to care for baby #raiden neglecting his family #sam telling dad jokes #Sundowner shouldn't be allowed near kids #Monsoon being a genocide survivor and ex mafia member so you're in for a bad time

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