#the second half less because it's 'oh my god we have so many things to tell we're running out of TIME'
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
PART I
Felix x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Felix become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (15,4k words)
Author's note: It's kind of experimental turning this into a fanfic but hope you enjoy it. Part II will be out next week x
Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.
YOU: I think physical appearance is not that important. It's all about confidence. [flips hair] I think all women should carry their self with confidence, stand tall, and always strive to be better.
But when you look at me, I'm pretty much a smoke show [laughs] I'd date myself if I could [laughs]
My ideal type is someone with a distinct charm. I'd love to see a tattoo or two on a man and someone who knows how to keep it exciting, cause I get bored easily [blows kisses to the camera]
-
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That's why you accept your cousin's offer in exchange for money that would save you from getting kicked out of your apartment and from dropping out of college.
She was in a desperate time too when she reached out to you as one of the contestants decided to drop out of the reality show she worked in as the casting director.
Guess desperate times reached out to each other.
But you, as a nobody with less than a hundred followers on Instagram and you believe half of them are bots, have no experience of being in front of the camera, doubting that you'll do well in it.
Other than that, you think reality shows are just a waste of time, they have no educational value but dumb people down.
But what option do you have? You're broke, jobless, and a week away from being homeless when the offer came.
"What's the reality show about again?" You ask your cousin, Sara.
She rolls her eyes at you, it's probably the umpteenth time you asked her about it again. "It's on the description."
It's on the pile of papers she gave you but you're too lazy to read that many pages written in small fonts with single spaces.
You have to bring it close to your face to read it.
A group of determined singles visit paradise to meet, mingle, and remain celibate for their chance to win $200,000.
"So..." you stop reading after seeing the amount of money you can win from it, "it's basically a dating show."
"Yes," she answers, "but... you will not be allowed to kiss or touch or have sex."
"Oh, thank God!" You let out a long sigh of relief.
Yes, you need the money but knowing that you don't have to do such things for a reality show makes you feel relieved. At least when one of your peers knows, you wouldn't have to be embarrassed about it. You can say you did it for the experience, but spare the part that you did it for quick money.
Another question pops into your head, "But then... how are we going to date each other if we're not allowed to kiss or touch and whatnot?"
Sara smiles at you, "See? That's the catch!"
She gets all excited in a second, "you have to resist each other from going at it," she further explains as her eyes turn a little loopy.
"Oh, so they'll be sex in it?"
She chuckles, "Maybe yes. Maybe not. Who knows?"
That's a vague answer and you still don't get how she would make money from making a reality show but doubtfully giving people what they want.
It's not like you're in it to actually find someone to date. You agree to join because she promised you more money once the shooting is done.
You're going to stay at a gorgeous villa on an island with a few people and try not to be in each other's pants, which is not what you intend to do in the first place.
What's so hard about it anyway?
-
Wow!
You might have missed the part that you have to be dressed in provocative swimwear and show as much skin as possible in the papers Sara gave you.
However, there's this one motto that always works to make you through the day.
Fake it till you make it and you have no other option but to fake it.
Your hair is styled into loose waves to make it look like you've been spending time at the beach and thankfully, you're allowed to do your own make-up. You put on a simple one, put a little blush on your cheek, and a layer of shiny gloss over your lips.
You changed into a two-piece bikini and look at yourself in the mirror.
Damn, you don't even have to fake it anymore. You look hot and you think that's why they still passed you as a contestant despite knowing that Sara is a relative of yours.
The first segment of the reality show is contestants entering the villa one by one, but in your case, you have to do it with another gorgeous girl.
"I'm Maeve," she introduced herself in a cute Irish accent.
You might or might have not just checked her out from head to toe before shaking her hand back to introduce yourself back.
You're taller than her but that's what makes her cute. She has that pretty dirty blonde hair and a nice smile, exuding a very positive vibe. You like her already.
The staff gives you the cue to start walking into the gravel path that leads to the villa while the cameras take you from every angle possible to capture your best features.
By best features, you mean your breasts and boobs, anything that possibly makes people think that's how a perfect body should be.
You are against female objectification but again, what other choice do you have? Giving up your principles just so you can live another day in this capitalist world.
Cheers welcoming both of you as the other contestants that have made their entrance before you, watching you step into the scene.
You can feel their eyes on you, either in envy or lust or things in between. You introduce yourself around with hugs and kisses, which is not how you usually introduce yourself.
Once they handed you a welcome drink which is a glass of warm champagne from being under the sun too long, it's when you see each one of them better.
Your confidence deflates in an instant because they're all way hotter and sexier than you. They look good in their bikinis and their hair is perfectly tousled like they rolled out of bed looking that gorgeous.
You're not just talking about the female contestants, the male too are incredibly stunning, their abs are on display since they're only wearing swimming trunks, their skins glowing under the sun.
You find yourself fanning your neck just from stealing glances at it.
"Hot, huh?" The other girl asks you, one with a perfect bone structure and full lips.
You lightly chuckle, "Everyone in here is hot," you carefully with what you said, aware that a mic is attached to your body.
"I know right?" She says with a flirty smile.
After a moment, you learn her name is Laura and she's the epitome of a hot girl. She has the perfect hair, perfect body, perfect nails, and even the way her hair parted is perfectly in the middle. Other than that, Laura, like other pretty girls, has it easy in her life, she's a social media influencer with 300k-something followers and said she's here for 'shit and giggles', her words, not yours.
A lot more male contestants enter the villa and everyone refills their champagne flutes as the temperature raises. You can't tell if it's because you're so close to the beach or there's just a lot of heat in here, or it could be that you're panicking inside and try not to show it.
Your cousin Sara is wrong about one thing.
There's not just one catch, they're all a catch and you can't do anything about them.
-
YOU: I feel like I'm in an ice cream shop and they have all of my favorite flavors. Vanilla, chocolate, salted caramels, cookies, and cream... [bites thumb] I just can't wait to have a scoop of each flavor [chuckles]
-
After the introduction and draining six bottles of champagne in the process, everyone is allowed to explore the place, get familiar with each other, and mingle.
Well, of course, you have to do your part, be flirty with them but you don't intend to go into that yet. Not when your confidence level is at its lowest that you can't even fake it anymore.
You sit by the lounge chair by the beach, enjoying the view of the beach while trying to ignore all the cameras filming you.
One of the cameramen suddenly got closer to get an angle when you notice that one of the male contestants is coming to the beach and you see no one else there but you.
Suddenly, you feel alarmed, immediately check your appearance, and got you wondering why that is your first reaction. This never happens in real life.
"Hi," he says, sitting on the other lounge chair next to you.
You raise yourself from the longue chair, supporting the back of your head with a cushion.
"Hi," you finally say back, trying to sound calm yet sultry like how Laura speaks.
You notice that he speaks in an accent that you can't quite decipher its origin, "may I know what accent is that?"
"It's French, but I do speak German as well," he says.
"And English," you point out.
He chuckles, "That too!"
"I learn that everyone has an exotic accent while I'm here with the most basic accent," you say and it surprises you how well you're doing at being an obnoxious reality show star.
He smiles, showing his perfectly good teeth, "Nah, I think you're cute."
And surprises yourself again at how receptive you are, smiling at his compliment. You laugh to yourself as you try to remember his name, everyone introduced themselves too quickly earlier and gave you no time to memorize them.
"I'm sorry. What's your name again?"
"Alex," he says, taking another step towards you as if he wasn't standing close enough.
Alex is super tall, super attractive, muscles in all the right places and you have never cared about such things in a man before. Alex has nice brown skin and soft curly hair, he's charming in a way that subtly grows in you.
"Well, Alex, how come you're so tall?" You playfully ask him, holding your champagne flute close to your face.
"I play basketball," he answers.
You click your tongue in awe and at the same time, feel afraid that Alex has raised your standards of men to a whole new level.
-
YOU: Alex is hot. Isn't that obvious? That French accent ooh... [whistles] and he plays basketball. He's like a tall glass of water and I'm super thirsty.
-
He's hot, he's tall, he speaks three languages, and he also plays sports. What else can he do? You wonder...
"What about you?" He asks.
You think for a moment, "Well, I only speak English," you answer with giggles.
He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees, looking at you with an intense stare.
"I can speak cat language too if that counts," you add.
He raises an eyebrow at you, "So you're a cat person, huh?"
"Yes, I am."
"I see..." he says, looking at you with an even more intense stare, "you like to be spoiled, huh?"
You turn to lay on your side to show him the curve of your body and bite your lower lip as you bravely stare back at him, "who doesn't like to be spoiled?"
Alex licks his lip as you catch him glancing at your lips, he thought of kissing you for sure but has no idea what stops him.
"What animal person are you?" You ask as the conversation starts to dry up.
He props a hand under his chin, "Why don't you guess?"
You tap your lips with your index finger to subtly tease him, "A puma?" You wildly guess.
He laughs, "Why?"
"I got the impression that you're wild, can't be tamed," you say whatever it is crossed your head at that moment.
You don't think Alex would care anyway with what you're saying because all he can think about is whether he should kiss you or not.
"Am I right? Or am I not wrong?" You dare him by closing the gap a few inches short.
Yet he remains in his seat and you're getting bored of waiting already. You retreat from keeping this going and sit up on the longue chair.
"I think I have to start getting ready for the party," you excuse yourself.
You're not proud that you're back to being such a bitch who plays with men but gosh, something about this reality show that brings out the bad girl in you.
-
YOU: Perhaps it's too early for him to get his move on someone. I think he wants to keep his options open and that's what I'm doing as well, I want to get to know a few of them and see if I... uh can have some fun.
-
The males are already waiting at the beach for the party.
The females are taking longer time to get ready because there is so much to do, hair, make-up and even putting fake acrylic nails.
You have lived as a woman for twenty-three years but only realized now how exhausting it is to be one. Not that you don't like it but people oftentimes don't give women enough credit for it.
"Come here, you sexy!" One of the males says.
Wow. What a way to impress a woman!
Everyone is sitting on the benches set around a bonfire and drinking cocktails with umbrellas in them, sipping and talking, checking each other out in secret or not so secret
A player recognizes another player so there's no use for all contestants to play naive, pretending that they're just here to sit around bonfire and make friends.
Everyone knows that they're here to get wild and becomes famous by doing it on a reality show. Except you thought, you don't want to go that far.
"Icebreaker time!" Says the girl with brunette hair and rosy cheeks. You believe her name is Heidi.
"Each one of us will take turns to stand in the middle with a blindfold on and anyone can do anything to that person. In the end, they have to guess who did it," she explains but more like babbling around the words while seductively chuckling in between words.
You don't get what she's saying but try to learn the game by watching as she takes the first turn to set an example. Heidi is a total babe, it's impossible if no one wants to have a piece of her.
A male comes up to her and has a deep kiss that put everyone to shame. One look and you can tell that it's one hell of a kiss. You sip the drink you've been holding in your hand.
Your heart is drumming the closer it gets to your turn, afraid that someone does things with you but it would be more embarrassing if no one does things with you.
So far, everyone at least has a kiss or a smooch, Laura even lets a guy touch her ample bosoms. You haven't made a move yet and it's kind of a requirement that you show your wild side because that's the idea of the show.
It's Jamie or that's what you remember his name is. He's taking his turn and putting a blindfold on, he looks gorgeous wearing a white shirt and short pants.
Jamie has glowing tan skin and six-pack abs, his hair must have skipped months of a haircut but rocking it all right. He keeps brushing his hair to the back, knowing that it looks better when it's messy.
You take a glance at everyone and none of them seem to make a move on him, impulsively, you get up from the stool and come up to him.
It's when you stand in front of him you have no idea what to do with him or more like, you have tons of ideas of what you want to do but can't choose one.
Everyone else is watching from their seats in anticipation, you shut down your brain from thinking and just go with it. You stand on your tiptoe and kiss him on the neck, covering your lips once you're done to not give him any clue that it's you who kissed him.
You run back to your seat and see what his reaction is once he takes his blindfold off. Next, Jamie has to guess who is it and to avoid looking suspicious, you calmly sip your drink and watch him guess who did it.
After taking too much time observing, he gives up, "I don't know. But whoever it is, I kind of want more," he says.
You try to remain calm and take another sip, looking anywhere but not in his direction.
It's finally your turn, your heart is beating faster and you wonder if the audio guy can hear it too with the mic resting around your neck.
Taking a quiet deep breath, you tie the blindfold over your eyes and around your head. You can only hope for the best now and block every insecurity that tries to reside in your head.
"Ooh..." everyone coos in unison and that only means someone is coming or about to do things to you.
Nervous, you clench and unclench your fists to calm yourself. Then a pair of hands gently cup your face and tilts your head upward.
Not ready for it, this mysterious person kisses your open mouth and proceeds to kiss you more, using his tongue in the most pleasurable way to taste you.
Damn! He's a good kisser and you reflexively respond to his kisses with your hands holding theirs. For a split second, you forget that you're in the middle of shooting a reality show and everyone is going to watch it.
You gasp the second they let go and have you fixing your lipstick because there's no way that phenomenal kiss not smudging it.
"Whoa. Can barely think after that kiss," you shamelessly tell everyone as you act drunk as you walk back to your seat.
Sipping your drink, you secretly assess everyone and try to guess which one of them kissed you. They're all hot anyway, it's not a loss to kiss one of them and you didn't know why you were fussing about it earlier.
Since Laura is taking the last turn and everyone seems to be whipped by her, you can see that all the male contestants anticipated this. You bet they're lining up to get a kiss from her.
It takes only a few seconds for anyone to make a move, the first one to have it is Daniel with half of his body covered in tattoos. He has a lean body and that bad boy attitude, he confidently strides to kiss Laura on the lips, so hard that she gasps in surprise.
You find yourself clapping at two people doing lewd things in front of a group of people. When you think Daniel is the only one succeeding in having a piece of Laura, another one takes his turn.
You almost scoff seeing Alex holds her by the neck and kisses her so deeply. Instant turn off, all those charms he has seems to be wiped off your head in a second.
-
YOU: Well, now we all know why Alex didn't kiss me [laughs] He likes someone else and that's good, I'll stop chasing him from here [sucks air through teeth] and on to the next one! [Raises hand triumphantly]
-
Moving on to the next segment, you prepare yourself for your act.
Sara is nice enough to let you know what the show is really about. When you ask everyone else, they believe that they're on a dating show and are here for partying and having fun and such.
Well, until... the cone-shaped talking pops out of its hiding and stops the party and the fun altogether.
"Hi, I'm Lana, and welcome to Too Hot Too Handle!"
Everyone stops talking and turns serious while deep inside you will find pleasure from their pain.
"You have been specially selected because you are all choosing meaningless sex over genuine relationships."
"That's true, though!" One of the males says and the other chuckles along.
"The purpose of this retreat is to help you gain deeper emotional connections in your personal relationships."
Daniel seems to be taking the news badly, "I'm not here for that!" He comments.
"As always, there are conditions to your stay here. You must abstain from sexual practices for the entirety of your stay."
Everyone is groaning in frustration, covering their eyes as if not having sex will make them die.
"No kissing. No heavy petting. And no sex of any kind."
More groans are spilling out of everyone's mouth.
"This also applies to self-gratification."
Wait! You didn't know that you'll not be allowed to touch yourself. Your body and you can't do anything about it.
-
YOU: The second I saw Lana, I know it's bad. But I didn't know it's that bad. Can't even touch myself? What?
-
"However, to aid your development, I've increased the prize fund to $200.000."
That one gets everyone hyped and jumping in excitement, including you. Thinking of that much money, you can shrug all your financial problems away.
"Each time the rules are broken, money will be deducted from the prize fund."
But this one gets you down immediately, there's a possibility that no money will be left with all these horny people locked in a villa together.
"Everyone, welcome to the retreat!"
"Ugh!"
-
YOU: Everyone is pissed off, including me. But you know, something about being told not to do something only makes me want to do it [bites lip]
-
No, you're not pissed off about it. Sex is something you can easily avoid doing, you just need to keep it in your pants and that's what you're going to do.
You want the prize so much and want to put your focus solely on that.
"How do you feel, babe?" Maeve asks while putting her wavy hair into a messy bun.
You're cleaning up your make-up with her with Heidi in the room, "I'm super bummed!" You lie.
"I'm here to have fun so... I'll continue to do that," Heidi eggs on the conversation.
Maeve nods in agreement, "Right!"
Going to the bedroom, you see the next struggle and that is choosing your bed. A few of them have chosen partners to share the bed with. You don't want to choose yet so you nudge Maeve's elbow, "Want to share a bed?"
She smiles at you, "I thought you'd never ask," she answers.
Everyone else is on the bed and you look around, catching someone staring at you from across your bed. It's Jamie.
"It's you," he points at you.
You raise an eyebrow at him and mouthed, "What?"
He turns his head to the side and shows his neck, "the kiss."
Instead of answering, you slump down the bed and giggle behind the duvet. You bet he can tell from the color of the lipstick mark.
However, from all the males you see, you can't guess yet which one of them kissed you. Alex can't be it, he's sharing the bed with Laura and looking comfortable there.
That leaves Jamie, Daniel, Cole, and Felix. It could be Jamie but...
"Goodnight, babe!" Maeve says as the lights are turned off for the night.
"Night, beautiful!" You greet back and you silently thank her for stopping you to think about boys when you should be thinking about the money.
Eyes on the prize.
-
The first day and you wake up feeling so disoriented. It's the timezone, the weather, and the blinding sun that greets you the moment you get out of the bedroom.
They provide swimwear in the closet for everyone to wear besides your own clothes. You pick a pair and put on your make-up after with Laura and Alex, not sure if either of them is trying to make you jealous.
It's the first day of the rules applied and you already need to remind yourself of the prize fund.
"Who do you like?" You curiously ask Maeve as you're in the pool together with Jamie.
"I like Felix," She answers without a beat.
It's an obvious answer. If this show has two main characters they would be Laura and Felix. The males go for Laura and the females for Felix. You haven't had time to speak to Felix in person then again, everyone in here is attractive.
"I think he's just so hot and cute," Maeve adds.
Jamie splashes her with water, "you're blushing!"
Maeve giggles and splashes water back at him, "what about you? What is your type?"
You didn't expect she'll turn the table at you and that you're like a rabbit about to get hit by a car.
"Come on, you can say it. Brunette with a British accent, nice smile, nice hair," Jamie playfully says with a grin at you.
Maeve chuckles then comments, "I think you two look cute together!"
-
YOU: I think Jamie is cute, he's a goofball. We share a vibe and he always smells so good [laughs] I can't say anything yet but yeah, let's see.
-
There are five males and five females, everyone can pair up and be a couple but things don't work out that way. There are so many things to consider like chemistry and connection, etcetera. However, you believe everyone is just waiting for someone to break the rules to go further.
That seems to be plausible with Lana throwing a party tonight.
"We're matching!" Jamie says.
You chuckle seeing that the only matching thing you have with him is the color of the pants you're wearing.
"You look beautiful," he compliments.
You tease him by jutting your ass at him and looking over your shoulder while batting your eyes at him, "Thank you!"
Doesn't want to be tempted, he turns your body around and puts his arm around you to lounging outside. You bet that he will use the opportunity to tell you about his intention.
You haven't been in relationships for so long that you forget how nerve-wracking it is.
"Cheers!"
"Cheers!" You clink your glass with him before taking a sip.
The sky is so pretty and clear tonight that you can see the stars like pinpricks on the night sky. The breeze is warm and salty, it's not good for your hair, you spent almost an hour straightening your hair and it's ruined in ten minutes.
"So do you have anyone you like?" Jamie asks.
You put your glass away and shake your head, "Nah, not yet."
He stares deeply into your eyes, "well, I like you," he suddenly admits.
"Like it isn't obvious," you jokingly say.
He laughs and licks his lips which makes you glance at his lips, it's round and full, glistening wet. You look away before it gets too creepy.
"You're gorgeous and easygoing and so fun to be around," he starts by complimenting you.
You don't know how he can have that conclusion when you only know each other for one day, you go along with him and nod, "Yeah, I agree."
He shifts on the seat and leans in close, putting his arm on the back of your head, "You're the first that caught my eyes when I came."
It's hard to know if Jamie said that in all honesty or to merely impress you. You saw how Alex jumped from one girl to another in a span of a few hours so you can't just trust his words.
Remember that they're all here for a reason, they're horny and emotionally unavailable. Sadly, that's what your types are for the last few months.
"I was hoping you'd compliment me more," you joke.
He throws his head back as he cracks a laugh, "I think it's your time to compliment me back."
You fold your legs on the sofa and put a cushion on your lap to play with the lint to keep your brain stimulated, to prevent you from zoning out midway.
You look at him as he looks back at you with hopeful eyes, "I think you're absolutely fit, you have a nice smile and are tall enough—"
"Tall enough?" He asks, a little offended.
You chuckle at his reaction, "In the best way. I hate when a guy is too tall," you explain.
"Okay, continue..." he allows.
"And you always smell so good," you lean in to take a whiff of his perfume.
"Good, yeah?"
"Tell me the perfume you're wearing," you playfully ask.
He shakes his head, "Not when there's the chance to make you take a whiff of it from me."
Jamie places his hand on your knee and the gust of wind makes his hair tousled and makes him look double attractive. His light brown eyes pierce right through you with the gaze he locked you in.
"What is there not to like about you?" You conclude.
He props a hand to support his head as he looks down at you, "what do you think about us?"
To be honest, it's too early to say something about this relationship. Not only that you barely know him, you don't have the intention to have a relationship at all.
"There's something there but I don't know, not sure about it yet," you honestly answer.
The hand on your knee moves up to your thigh now. Damn! Jamie is smooth.
"Maybe once I get to know you better, I'd know," you hurriedly add before he gets the wrong idea.
The next thing you know, you get yourself in a pickle as you find him leaning closer to you and his hand that was on your thigh, now resting on your waist.
"Maybe if we kissed, we'd know each other better," his eyes are centered on your lips.
"You want to kiss?" You lower your voice, afraid that there are other people around you.
Jamie leans in closer until his nose meets yours, "So bad," he answers.
Is it why he smells so good? That his perfume isn't just perfume, but it's also pheromones? You hold his chin, unable to choose whether to turn him away or bring him close, finding it hard to resist him.
-
YOU: Jamie looking so good tonight. He's literally too hot to handle [dramatically rolls eyes]
-
Jamie leans in closer and an inch away from your lips when you put your hand on his lips, stopping him from kissing you.
"Stop!" You mewl at him.
Jamie looks a little taken aback, thinking that he can seal the deal tonight.
"I want to kiss you," you tell him with your thumb brushes over his lips.
"But..." You cup his jaw and slowly speak to him so your explanation is not lost in the middle, "I don't want us to be the first to rule break."
If you were out there in the wild, you'd be all over each other by now. However, you think about the money, and spending money this early in the show isn't worth it, well, for you. Other than that, being the first to break the rules will only get you so much shit from everyone.
-
YOU: If we were outside, I would have ripped his clothes already by now [laughs] [facepalm] Lana, you should be proud of me.
-
Jamie sucks air through his teeth and laughs this off, maybe he feels a little rejected, you bruise his ego. Men are fragile like that.
"It's hard for me too," you sincerely tell him and throw your arms around him, consoling him with a hug.
"I'll just give you another kiss on the neck, okay?" you proceed to do it, placing a soft kiss on his neck right below his ear.
You hear him lowly groan with eyes closed, "That's not... uh, make it better."
He puts a hand around you, keeping you close next to him, "what about sharing a bed?"
You laugh at how relentless he is. Not only it means putting you at a bigger risk to break the rules but also, he's being haste about this.
"I'd like that," you answer, earning a grin from him.
"But not tonight," you hurriedly add.
His hand slides down your head to play with the end of your hair, twirling it around his fingers.
"Why not?"
The player recognizes the player and Jamie is giving you the eyes right now. You look away and snug to his side, "I hump in my sleep and I think you'd like that too much."
He cracks a laugh with his hand drawing you closer to him, "More reason to share a bed!"
-
YOU: It's too early to share a bed with anyone. I still want to get to know the other and... [shrugs] keep my options open.
-
The party is far from over but you feel tired from socializing, and worse is, you can't escape them since you're sharing a house with them for the rest of the month.
You decide to excuse yourself, going to the make-up room and powdering your nose, then staying there to sip your drinks in silence.
There are nine other people to get footage from so you don't have to worry about making it interesting for people to watch.
"Hey, I've been looking for you!"
You turn on your seat to see Maeve entering the room, "what's up, babe?"
She drags the chair next to you, then sits on it. She checks her hair in the mirror and brushes the end with her fingers.
"I'm thinking of talking to Felix," she finally answers.
You sip your drink before talking, "And why are you here?"
Maeve laughs at your playful response, she leans back on her seat and sighs, "I don't know I'm so nervous to talk to him," she says.
That should be your question but you know that Maeve doesn't seek an answer from you, she needs some encouragements.
"You're gorgeous and fun, I think he'll like you," you tell her with a gentle squeeze on her shoulder.
She warmly smiles at you and checks herself again in the mirror.
"But if you intend to break the rules, I suggest you apply matte lipstick," you poke fun at her.
"I should do that," she searches for her make-up bag from the cluttering mess on the long vanity table.
After sending Maeve out of the door with another encouragement in a form of a cheeky slap to her butt, you bring your drink with you to the bedroom, feeling so ready to end the day already.
The first thing you see are two bodies going at it on the bed in the corner. You don't know why but you stay there standing in the doorway of the bedroom, watching them kissing on the bed.
After a minute of observation, you're positive it's Heidi and Daniel.
You hear someone coming from behind you, you hurriedly turn around to find Jamie there.
"Get me more drinks?" You immediately ask him, trying to sound natural.
"Sure, yeah, been looking for you," he says, more than eager to take you back to the party.
It's the only right thing to do. He doesn't care about the rules and if he knew that someone has broken the rules, he will be more relentless than he already is.
-
Thankfully, Lana doesn't announce any rulebreaking behaviors for today, the party ends on a good note and everyone has their happy ending, at least for today.
But for you, you're just happy to finally get on the bed.
As Maeve climbs onto the bed after you, you can't wait but ask her about how the talk went.
"So, how's the talk?"
From the lack of her usual radiance on her face, you can tell that it didn't go well. You regret asking about it.
Maeve scoots closer to you on the bed and leans in, keeping her head turns away from Felix's bed.
"I talked to him and he was nice, said he finds me cute and funny," she keeps her voice low.
"Well, that's great!" You comment, a little louder than you intend to.
Maeve puts on a thin smile, "yeah so I asked him if he has eyes for someone," she says.
"Yeah and?"
"He said he likes someone," she answers.
You playfully bump her shoulder, "and it's you."
"Else," she finishes her words, "he likes someone else."
She rests her head on your shoulder and you put your arm around her, comforting her with gentle squeezes on her shoulder.
"Does this mean you're going to stop trying or...?"
"Not sure," she shortly replies.
"He said you're beautiful and funny, you should focus on that and work your way from there," you comfort her.
Men are not only stupid, they're all short-sighted, and that's why they like everything big. Maybe at first glance, Felix didn't see Maeve clearly and that's why you encourage her to try once again so he can take another good look at her because who knows?
-
The morning alarm is ringing.
They set a time to let everyone know when to start their day even though a few of us have woken up earlier. The lights are on and greeting each other, barefaced with eyes still sleepy.
Jamie jumps onto your bed and gets between you and Maeve on the bed.
"Good morning, girls!" His voice is muffled by the pillow underneath.
Maeve gently pats his back, "Cuddles only!" She reminds him.
He lifts his head and looks at you, "Not going to lie but I was about to kiss her until you said that," he tells Maeve.
Jamie looks so fine with a bare face and his bedhead looks extra fluffy when it's tousled.
-
YOU: Good morning! It's a good day, clear sky, nice weather with no chance of sex. [Snorts]
-
When everyone is called to the cabana, you know that it's judgment time.
You feel calm knowing that you successfully refrained from breaking rules but you know that everyone is not going to be pleased that a few people spent a few thousand dollars last night. Including you.
So far, you only knew about Heidi and Daniel but there's a big chance that other people break the rules too. It's a big place, you can't keep track of everyone.
This secret you've been keeping is getting too hard to bear yourself. The only person you can share it with is Maeve and you're positive that she didn't break any rules, not that you know of.
"I walked in on Heidi and Daniel kissing," you whisper to Maeve.
"My Gosh!" She lowly gasps.
The sound of Lana's cone-shaped head chiming and your heart leaps. You're not ready to lose money, not when you have your credit card bills spilling out of your mailbox as you speak.
"I regret to inform that there are several rule breaks."
Several? So that means there's more than one rule break? You're doomed, everyone is doomed.
"Everyone better be telling the truth right now!" Cole says as the resident's sex cop.
Everyone is looking at each other and a few are looking very suspicious right now. You bet that Laura and Daniel broke the rules from the way they avoid everyone's eyes.
Heidi raises her hand like she's in a classroom, "So..."
And everyone groans, knowing that they are about to hear a piece of bad news.
"Daniel and I, we kissed in the bedroom," she admits.
It's good that Heidi decides to come clean but it's a bit upsetting that Daniel just sits there like he didn't take part in it.
"But that was it. Just one kiss!" She assures everyone.
Welp, that's $3000 down the drain. However, Lana continues to press everyone to confess.
"Let's just get it over with, guys!" Cole adds with gritted teeth.
Can't hold it in yourself for long, you call them out by the names, "Laura? Alex? Have anything to say?" You ask with a piercing gaze.
"We uh... we kissed," Alex may have a buff body and the tallest of the bunch but he's bad at being honest like all men are.
"But it's because we're sure we have a connection. That's why we kissed," Laura is, of course, backing her man and ready to claw people with her super-long acrylic nails.
"I don't care what all of you are saying. We—"
"You kissed for how many times?" Cole cuts her off with the most important question of all.
There's a moment of silence and that means it's bad.
"Twice. On the bed and the beach," Laura answers with no apologetic expression whatsoever.
"That's so selfish!" Maeve exclaims next to you and lets out a big sigh after.
The worst is Lana is still here and asking if anyone wants to own up to their shit. You don't even want to count the most you've lost, it's a lot.
"You've got to be kidding!" Jamie groans from the end of the sofa.
Not only that the truth costs everyone money but serves the juiciest drama needed for TV broadcasts.
"Daniel kissed me," Aly finally confesses.
Everyone's eyes dart at Daniel, he kissed two girls yesterday and put them in a fight after this. Heidi looks furious sitting next to him.
"I'm pretty sure he kissed me first then he kissed Heidi," she adds, her eyes throwing daggers at Daniel.
"This is a mess!" You quietly comment and plant your face in your hands.
"These rule breaks have cost the group a total of $12.000," Lana announces.
You groan into your hand thinking that much money can cover a couple of months of your rent and here these fools spending them to satisfy their wild desire.
-
YOU: From now on, I'll be thinking of a Chanel handbag every time I get the urge to kiss someone because that's how much it costs.
-
"There are a total of four rule breaks in the last 24 hours and the fine on any further rule break will be doubled as of this moment," Lana announces another shocking news.
-
YOU: Great! A kiss equals two Chanel handbags now. [Hand against forehead]
-
It was one hell of a way to start the day.
Everyone's mood turns sour after that and Cole, being the sex cop he is, doesn't stop preaching to everyone to not break any rules.
What you fear the most with rules has been broken more than once now, it's allowed everyone else to take their turn and that includes Jamie.
It's only about time that he'll start demanding a kiss from you. Don't get fooled, men are just as insecure as women but they mask it well with their huge egos.
You try to avoid him and hang out with Maeve instead, chilling by the pool.
"I heard Irish people are a great drinking buddy," you want to distract yourself from the reality show you're in.
"I wouldn't call myself a 'buddy' but yeah, we're good drinkers," Maeve answers with her playful laughs.
You dip your fingers in the pool water and mindlessly splash it around.
"Come to Ireland and I'll show you a good time," she says.
You snort thinking that with the debt you have, you can't afford to travel out of the country right now but you can't pass on the invitation.
"Okay, I'll just go there with my winning prize," you jokingly say.
"Oh, yeah, totally," she responds with giggles but her eyes are nowhere in your direction.
Following her line of vision, she is watching Felix working out with Alex and Cole at the beach. You take it that she hesitates to make a move on him after knowing that he likes someone else.
"You're going to talk to him again right?"
Considering that the outside world is off-limits, leaving all of you with no choice but to interact with each other. This also means that Maeve will have to get a move on him or try not to be awkward with Felix walking around the house for the next three weeks.
"Who do you think it is?"
"The one he likes?" You guess.
She nods, glints of curiosity filled her eyes, "yeah."
"Certainly not you," you joke and break into laughter.
"Ouch!" She splashes water at you.
-
YOU: Maeve thinks a lot when she has nothing to worry about. She should just do it.
-
The house is huge even for ten people living in it but you can't keep avoiding Jamie.
After dressing up to hang out in the firepit, you sit next to Jamie at ease with the presence of other people there. But that doesn't stop him from touching you, putting his hand around you to play with your hair and whatnot.
"We should have kissed yesterday," he suddenly says.
You lowly chuckle, "When it was cheaper?"
The wind keeps blowing your way, sending your hair flying around and making it messy. Jamie attentively puts the stray hair away and tucks them behind your ears.
"Do you still want to break the rules?" You ask out of curiosity.
"If you want to," he answers.
He fixes the collar of his shirt and looks at you, "what about you?"
You crinkle your nose at him, conflicted. On one side, you want to kiss him and see if there's a spark between you and him but on the other side, it costs two Chanel handbags.
You rest your head on his shoulder, "I just don't think we should be selfish by spending money recklessly," you honestly answer.
"Yeah..." he agrees but the sigh he lets out at the end tells you otherwise.
-
YOU: Jamie sounds a little disappointed that I don't want to break the rules. I mean, don't hate the player, hate the game!
-
The make-up room is crowded with the girls cleansing their faces and doing their bedtime routine. You decide to take the last turn, lounging on Jamie's bed to make up for not sleeping with him tonight.
"Are you guys going to sleep together tonight?" Aly asks from the bed across the room.
Jamie turns his head with an eyebrow raised at you, asking you the same question.
"Yes, we are," you finally answer.
Jamie can't hide his triumphant smile and it looks adorable on him, you can't help but smile along.
-
YOU: I don't want to feel pressured to do it but I owe it to Jamie to at least try and see if this relationship is going somewhere.
-
It's understandable for them to be nosy, it's what the viewers need, a little drama, a little action but what they need are the juicy details.
Before anyone else gets nosy, you start getting ready for bed. Wipes clean your make-up and go to the bathroom to wash up, someone else is showering inside the stall.
It's a normal occurrence. Honestly, everyone else is just so calm about seeing each other's body at this point.
However, the glass wall is blurry so you don't have to worry about seeing someone's naked body inside. You head to the sink and mind your own business.
As you're brushing your teeth, the shower door opens and a hand reaches out for a towel hanging by the handle. In the mirror, you see Felix steps out of the shower and your eyes eventually meet through the reflection and you reflexively smile with a toothbrush tugged between your teeth.
"Hey," he greets.
It surprises you that the deep voice belongs to him, "Hi," you greet back.
He walks toward you and you scoot to the side knowing that he needs to use the sink.
"You don't mind, right?" He asks, taking his toothbrush out of his toiletry bag.
You shake your head, "not at all."
It's hard to not see his body when he stands close next to you. Everyone in here has a nice body but on the first impression, you see him as this thin and dainty guy.
Now, you've seen him up close, he has one of the best bodies in the house, his muscles are perfectly toned and it shows that he diligently worked on his body.
"How's your day?" He casually asks with the towel hanging low around his hips.
"Alright, I guess," you answer.
"You?" You ask back while washing your toothbrush under the running water.
He looks at you and smiles, "just got better, actually," he answers.
Felix is definitely flirting and you immediately fill your mouth with water before stupid things come out of it. You decide to quickly wrap it up before someone else enters the space even though you're doing nothing.
-
YOU: Felix and I are just talking. There's— [inhales] he's low-key flirting with me and I freaked out, there I said it.
-
Maeve is already on the bed when you enter the bedroom and so is Jamie with a space prepared on the bed for you.
It would be rude to say nothing to Maeve that you'll not be sleeping with her, so you come to her first.
"I'm sleeping with Jamie," you tell her.
She slyly grins at you, "Should I give you the sex talk?"
"No, thank you, mom!" You grab your pillow and walk to Jamie's bed still laughing.
Jamie's smile grows wider the closer you get to his bed, he opens his arms to welcome you.
"Come here, sweet thing!" He playfully says.
You hit him with your pillow before coming into his hug. As you settle on his bed, Felix walks past your bed and flashes you a smile, a little different from the one he gave you earlier.
You forget that he sleeps on the bed next to Jamie's and you don't know how it suddenly feels awkward to you.
"Be good, you two!" Cole warns with a piercing glare.
"Not going to break any rules. You can have my words," you assure him despite Jamie nuzzling his nose onto your shoulder as you speak.
-
YOU: At least, that's what I hope. Being in bed with Jamie and try not to break rules will certainly not going to be easy. Ugh!
-
Once the lights are out, Jamie spoons you from behind with his arms wrapped around you. Not going to lie but it feels nice to be with someone.
"You smell so good," he whispers into your ear.
You don't respond, afraid that it will only encourage him to do more.
"You're so soft," he says again with his hand splayed on your bare stomach.
"Night, Jamie," you put an end to the talk.
That doesn't stop his hand from cuddling you and nuzzling his nose in your neck.
"No goodnight kiss?" He asks.
You take his hand and kiss it as a substitute, earning a low laugh from him.
Jamie kisses you on the neck in return, "Night!"
-
YOU: It's getting a little hot in here [fanning your neck]
-
The first thing Cole does when he wakes up is ask everyone an important question.
"Did anyone break any rules last night?"
You shake your head because as much as it's been hard to refrain from touching Jamie, you didn't do anything but cuddle under the cover.
"I can promise you we've been good in here!" Jamie confidently states and puts his arm around you.
Aly as Maeve's new bedmate, points at Laura and Alex's bed, "I definitely heard noises coming from their bed," she snatches on them.
Alex may have a good poker face but you can't say the same with Laura, she's looking guilty but the kind that tells she's not sorry for doing it.
"You may as well spill the truth now," Daniel eggs in.
Laura nonchalantly shrugs as if she's not been acting selfishly when it's only about time that Lana announces how much money we've lost because of them.
-
YOU: I'm proud that Jamie and I managed to not break any rules last night. I hope that proves that we do have a real connection.
-
It's too late for you to walk out as Felix sees you coming into the bathroom.
You walk to the sink to grab your toiletry bag you forgot to take with you, "I can't believe our meet cute is in the bathroom," you say.
He laughs hearing your words while struggling to put sunblock on his back.
"Need help?"
He considers it for a moment then nods, "Yes!"
You take the tube of sunblock from him, pressing a big dollop of the cream on your hand and slowly lathering it on his honey skin. His skin is smooth and warm with muscles that make his back the perfect spot to lean on.
"So, you and Jamie, huh?" he suddenly asks, looking at you through the reflection in the mirror.
The question snaps you out of your daze. You're thankful that he can't see your face as you're busy making sure the sunblock is covering his back evenly.
"Yes," you shortly reply.
He hums while subtly nodding his head, "And what do you think?"
You play dumb but it's also because your hands wander to his lats and they're distracting, "of what?"
Felix leans forward with hands resting against the sink, "is it serious?"
You silently gulp air because his question only means that he has an interest in your relationship which also means that he has...
"We're still figuring each other out," you settle with a diplomatic answer for him.
You glide your hands back up to lather the sunblock down his shoulder blades.
"I see," he responds with a smile.
And not just a smile, a smile that tells he got the answer he wants.
You slide your hands down his arms and playfully squeeze his biceps, "there! Done!"
He takes the sunblock back from you and checks himself in the mirror, "thank you."
Felix raises his hands for a high-five with you, "Let's have a great day!"
You smile at him and return the high-five, "Let's do it!"
-
YOU: Maeve likes Felix and I'm obviously team hoes before bros. Always!
-
"Blue looks good on you!"
It's another day of Jamie's endeavors to kiss you, starting the conversation by complimenting your bikini. He joined you sunbathing by the pool in the afternoon, sharing a sun lounger.
"Thank you!" You reply with a smile with your eyes squinting under the bright sun.
His hand is squeezing your arm, "you got some muscles here," he says.
"I played volleyball in high school," you share.
Propping a hand under his head, he looks down at you, "I want to see you play volleyball."
You chuckle, "That was years ago. I forgot how to play."
"Must be looking sexy serving ball in tight shorts," he lowers his head into your neck.
You burst out laughing and slip your hand in his soft locks, "that sounds so wrong."
Not only that you're out in the open, it's rather dangerous with how close he is and his lips looking inviting as he plants it on your shoulder.
It's only right that you distract him by giving him a little taste but not too much, enough to make him crave more.
"Do it for me?" You ask with a bottle of sun spray in your head.
"I'd love to," he eagerly says.
Jamie sprays on parts of the body he wants to touch, all over your back as you lay on your stomach and down to your asscheek, excessively kneading on them.
You laugh at how he can't stop himself that you eventually have to turn over so he can continue, spraying your shoulders.
You take off the straps around your neck so he can spray your chest and sneaks his hand on the valley between your breasts.
"Yeah, get in there!" You playfully encourage him.
Jamie grins like a child who got caught taking a cookie out of the cookie jar. He then continues to spray on your abdomen and evenly rub them down your thighs next while glancing into your eyes once in a while.
To say that you don't enjoy teasing him would be a lie.
-
YOU: Jamie becomes more relentless by the day but am I wrong to not want to rule break? Isn't that the purpose of this retreat?
-
As the day turns to night, it's only about time until everyone got called to the cabana.
You feel sick listening to the sound of Lana's cone-shaped body chiming, especially with Laura and Alex acting so suspiciously.
Lana is a computer but she sounds not pleased as she greets everyone. Cut to the announcement, she informs that Laura and Alex did break the rules last night.
You glance at Cole who got speechless that he's just looking at Alex in disbelief.
"These rule breaks cost the group $18.000."
-
YOU: For three kisses? Really? Lana, please, be reasonable with the prices.
-
"That's not the only rule break they committed," Lana spills more truth.
This is what you fear the most, getting riled by the whole group for breaking the rules. Everyone looks at both Laura and Alex waiting for them to confess.
"I touched his willy under the cover," Laura confesses.
Everyone groans in unison.
You don't know how Laura is okay being so selfish and can keep a straight face, but that's probably why her make-up is super thick.
"This rule break costs the group a further $4.000."
"Why would you do that?" Maeve asks and she rarely gets this mad.
"It's not a big deal!" Laura nonchalantly responds.
"Yeah but not for $4.000!" Heidi snaps at her, as furious as everyone.
"Now the prize fund stands at $166.000."
-
YOU: I can use that money as a deposit for a house and here we are, spending it on kisses and a hand down a guy's trouser.
-
The night gets darker not only on the outside but inside the house as well.
Lana sends Laura and Alex to the suite to test if they're building a true connection but everyone is skeptical that they'll pass the test.
You sit on the bed with Jamie resting his head on your lap, brushing his hair to relax you now that you've lost a chunk of money.
"Alex is like the horniest people and Laura is the biggest teaser, it's a recipe for a disaster," Aly comments, lying on her stomach on the bed opposite yours.
"They will rule break once or twice at least," Jamie adds his opinion.
The night ends early but you see that Maeve and Felix haven't returned yet to their respective beds. You hope that things are going well with them.
You nuzzle your head into Jamie's chest and murmur, "We haven't broken any rules," you tell him.
"Yet," Jamie continues your words clasping your hand with his.
You look at him and smile as he looks back at you, "We've been good and I'm proud."
He foolishly smiles and opens his arms to invite you for a hug. You jump right into his embrace and those muscles on his body feel pillowy under you.
Jamie pulls the duvet to cover both of your bodies even though the lights aren't out yet. You squeal as he starts to glide his hands down your sides.
-
YOU: I appreciate Jamie for being so patient because I know, it was hard for me to not throw myself at him.
-
"We don't need another rule break tonight!"
Cole pulls the duvet down to reveal that the two of you are just tickling each other under the cover.
At the same time, Felix makes his way to his bed, seeing you straddling Jamie on the bed which sends you to get off of him immediately.
It's unclear why you do that but your eyes go straight to Maeve's bed, it's empty even when the lights are already out.
You nestle your head in Jamie's neck as he lightly touches up and down your arm and kisses your hand once in a while.
You plant a soft kiss on his neck and whisper, "Night."
He kisses you back on the head, "Goodnight!"
-
YOU: I start to believe that maybe Jamie and I do have a genuine connection [smiles]
-
Everyone is looking restless from the moment they woke up and looks in shambles once they gathered in the cabana, ready for that time of the day.
After a while, Laura and Alex are returning from the suite. You recognize the glow on Laura's face right away but you could be wrong.
God! You hope you're wrong and they didn't do anything selfish last night.
You're spacing out as Lana comes with her anxiety-inducing ping sounds and all you can think about is how much money Laura and Alex spent last night.
"They're looking suspicious," Aly whispers at you.
Indeed, they are, and looking very guilty as well. Everyone waits in anticipation as Lana takes her time to announce whether they pass the test or blow all the money in one night.
"I must tell the group that Laura and Alex did..."
You hold your breath for the worst outcome.
"Not..."
It's getting harder to breathe now.
"Break any rules!"
Everyone shoots up from their seats and congratulates the couple in turns. You got so far in life that you get to celebrate people for not having sex.
-
YOU: So they can keep it in their pants! I'm proud!
-
Lana has another announcement after everyone settled in from the celebration.
"To motivate everyone to grow genuine feelings of connection as opposed to lust, I've prepared gifts for all of you."
You take the box in front of you and open it to reveal a watch inside.
"When I observe two people forming genuine connections, they will be given a green light like this."
Everyone's watch chimes and turns green at the same time.
"While the lights are green, the rules do not apply for a limited amount of time."
Cole claps his hands together to get everyone's attention, "There's no more excuse for anyone to break any more rules!"
-
YOU: This [shows the watch] motivates me to build a connection with Jamie. Hope we get to be the first to get the green light.
-
After a very stressful morning that thankfully ends with a happy ending, you can have the room to breathe since the boys are out of the house to do a workshop at the beach.
The girls are hanging out in the bedroom and with the drama going on earlier, you forgot to ask Maeve why she went to bed late last night.
To get a little privacy, even though you can't get any with cameras placed in every crook and nook of the villa, you take her to the make-up room. You sit next to her while fixing your make-up in the mirror.
"Is everything okay?" You ask.
Maeve sits with both feet up on the chair and looks down at her nails, "not okay, honestly," she answers.
You stop looking at the mirror and turn your chair to face her, "why? What happened?"
Maeve hugs her folded legs and looks at you, a sad smile on her face.
"I just don't know what I'm doing here..."
You place your hand on her knee, "hey, don't say that!"
"I'm not making connections with anyone and I tried, but it's not working. I-I don't know why I'm here," she says with a heavy sigh at the end of the sentence.
It seems like things aren't going well between her and Felix, and Maeve is someone with low self-esteem, which makes her somewhat dejected that things didn't go well.
"You don't have to be a couple to make progress, you know," you comfort her and it's true, Cole is proof that he's fine not being in a pair and dedicates himself as an avid protector of the prize money instead.
"I'm not pretty. No one wants to be with me," she breaks into tears and buries her head in her hands.
You get up from the chair to hug her, "First of all, everyone here is pretty and it's not a beauty pageant, okay?" You comfort her while slightly bending down with your arms around her.
"It's not about look. It's about chemistry, attraction, and stuff," you awkwardly explain.
You have no talent in comforting someone but you try your best. After a moment, Maeve lifts her head and looks at you.
"No one is attracted to me," she says with her fingers carefully dabbing the corner of her eyes to avoid ruining her make-up.
You scoff and turn the chair to face her before sitting on it, "you are so beautiful, Maeve," you assure her with both hands holding hers.
Maeve puts down her feet and your clasped hands dropped onto her lap, "I know," she half-heartedly agrees.
"For you, I'll fly to Ireland and come see you, we'll get drunk and have so much fun," you cheer her up with nice thoughts while shaking her hands.
Maeve cracks a laugh and you can see that she starts to get hopeful again. She's a genuinely kind person which is not someone you expect to meet here, you think of her as a friend despite it happening because you both are in a reality show.
A crazy idea crosses your head, "you know what? We can be a couple and win the money," you tell her.
-
YOU: I'm bad at comforting people and the only thing I know how to comfort someone is through actions [slyly smiles]
-
She laughs at your wild suggestion that it takes her a while to reply to you, "I'd love that, yeah," she jokingly answers.
An even crazier idea crosses your head, "come here then," you tell her, pulling her close until your heads meet in the middle.
Maeve senses your intention but not doing anything to stop you, instead, she leans in first to kiss you.
You kiss her back as she softly brushes her lips on yours over and over again. She tastes so sweet and warm, she knows how to use her tongue and not overdo it, and overall, one hell of a good kisser.
You pull away first as the reality that someone might walk in on you dawns on you.
"Did we just break the rules?" Maeve asks while wiping her smeared lipstick.
"You'd better have a good poker face!" You warn her.
-
YOU: Goodness! Maeve is a good kisser and that kiss... I think that was the best $6.000 I ever spent. No regret at all.
-
The boys are back just in time for another party Lana is throwing tonight.
The theme is Saints and Sinners and there's a box of costumes for everyone to wear. You choose to be an angel with wings even though you've been behaving badly after breaking the rules earlier.
He sits you on his lap even though the sofa is spacy enough for another two persons but you feel safe since Alex and Laura are there, cuddling in the smaller sofa across from yours.
"So, what did you do in the workshop?" You ask Jamie.
He takes a deep breath and his chest heaving along with yours, "we learned how to be more open with our feelings."
You nod along and leer over at him, "And how did it go?"
Jamie rests his chin on your shoulder with a hand resting on your stomach, "Well, I'm never good at it but I think I did alright."
He doesn't sound so convincing but you appreciate the effort.
"You look beautiful, babe!" He compliments you along with a gentle squeeze on your thigh.
You're immune to sweet nothings like this but a compliment is a compliment. You smile and mutter, "Thank you!"
You slip your hand into the opening of his shirt, "I like your shirt," you compliment back with a seductive smile.
He sees your hand slide in further into his shirt, "should have let another button open."
Jamie keeps checking his watch hoping that the light turns green soon.
You doubt that a few compliments can do it and silently laugh at his fruitless effort.
-
YOU: I'll always be physically attracted to Jamie but I don't know. I can't tell if I doubt myself or him, or us, entirely [clicks tongue]
-
The time for doom is here.
You exchange nervous glances with Maeve knowing what we've done would damage the numbers on the prize fund. You doubt that it's what Laura felt when she broke the rules because what you're feeling is a sense of guilt but that's solely because you behaved selfishly, not for the kiss.
"Hours after receiving the gifts of my watches, a couple of you decide to break the rules by kissing," Lana announces.
Everyone's eyes land on Alex and Laura since they're the regular rulebreakers. Just know that they'll be surprised once they found out who did it.
"You know the routine. Just spill it!" Cole sounded so done at this point.
You hate to break his trust but you don't feel bad for breaking the rules, not when you have a good intention. Your heart is pounding for how much shit you'll get either from admitting it or don't, you choose the former.
"It was me," you blurt out with a hand raised.
Jamie snaps his head at you, eyes wide filled with confusion because he knows for damn sure you didn't kiss him or vice versa.
"I'm not going to name names who I did it with and why," you quickly add and it's the only right thing to do, you don't want to force Maeve to speak out unless she wanted to.
"I'm sorry," you apologize.
Jamie looks even more confused but his eyes are scanning the guys one by one even though it isn't any of them you kissed.
"I'm sorry, Cole," you apologize to him personally since he's the one who gets sensitive the most about the money.
Maeve raises her hand and decides to admit it as well, "she did it with me."
They let out a collective gasp, laughter, and sneaky eyes going on after. Jamie squeezes your shoulder but not saying anything to you.
"Another $6.000 has gone from the prize fund, leaving the group with $160.000," Lana furtherly informs.
Funny that you didn't about the money at all when you kiss Maeve. Probably because you know that you intend to rebuild Maeve's confidence, so she's not giving up on herself and continues her journey here.
However, when it comes to Jamie, you're still not sure if you want to spend $6.000 on a kiss with him.
-
The rule break doesn't seem to leave that much impression on everyone.
Maybe because they give you a pass because it's your first time breaking the rule and the night ends in peace or that's what you thought.
You're chatting with Aly in the firepit to avoid the crowded make-up room when suddenly Felix comes behind you. You didn't notice until Aly sends you a signal with her eyes.
"Can I talk to you?" He asks.
Aly gets the hint and decides to leave, "I'll excuse myself then."
You've spent a couple of times alone with him even though they only last for a few minutes, but this time is different, no one is around except for the filming crew lurking in the bushes or somewhere you're not aware of.
The sofa could fit a couple of dozen people but Felix decides to sit next to you.
"Hi," he sweetly greets.
"Hi, how are you?" You ask with a smile.
His legs are spreading wide and he has gaping holes in his jeans, exposing bits of his thighs that you found are surprisingly muscular.
"I'm good," he answers, doing the classic move of putting his arm on the headrest of the sofa, "how about you?"
Your body somehow responds by putting your leg over the other and leaning towards him, "Never been better."
Felix gets quiet but his eyes are deeply looking into your eyes as if he found something fascinating in them. A while later, he clears his throat as he slightly slouched on the sofa, legs spreading wider, sending the holes in his jeans to stretch and expose more of his skin.
"During the workshop, we were taught to open up about our feelings and I–" He pauses to scratch his small nose and continues with an uneasy glance at you, "I know what I want and I want to do it. I know I'll regret it if I don't."
"Okay," you respond while nodding along and at times, getting distracted by the holes in his jeans.
"I know you're with Jamie and I don't mean to break things between the two of you but I feel like... I need you to know that I like you."
Felix talks without a beat and with the intense stare he's giving you, you gulp air feeling nervous but in an exciting kind of way.
"I like you," he says again.
Your heart starts to race because you can feel how much he meant all of his words.
-
YOU: Oh my God! The hottest man in this retreat likes me?!
-
"You don't have to do anything about it," he casually says as if he didn't just put you in a predicament since you're with Jamie.
Felix retracts his hand and accidentally or not, brushes his hand on your shoulder. He gives you the faintest of physical contact but enough to send a shiver down your spine.
Still speechless by his sudden confession, but you know you should have said something to him to avoid him getting the wrong idea.
"Thank you for letting me know," you begin.
"You're very welcome!" He excitedly responds with a wide grin.
"But let me know if you want to do anything about it," he adds with a playful grin.
Something about him makes you warm inside, you can feel your cheeks heating, flustered with his eyes never straying away from yours even for a second.
The night is late and the fireplace is laying low, swaying with the gentle breeze coming from the sea, Felix's lips suddenly look so inviting, enticing you like a forbidden apple.
This is dangerous.
"Let's head inside," he says, thankfully being the one putting a brake on the imminent danger.
-
YOU: This is honestly what I seek with Jamie, that excitement, that sparks and it's a problem that I got it from someone else without any sort of physical contact whatsoever.
-
"So, Maeve, is she a good kisser?" Jamie asks as he sits with you on the bed.
Maeve sips water from her tumbler before answering, "The best!"
She takes another sip before talking again, "You're in for a treat, Jamie."
He glances at you with an impressed smile, "Too bad that I can't confirm that," he says.
That's his way to dig at you for what you did. You understand that he feels betrayed by what you did, you refuse to kiss him but easily kissed someone behind his back.
You put your hand across his chest and look at him, "Are you mad?"
"Nah," he coyly answers.
You bring your mouth close to his ear, "are you jealous?"
Jamie chuckles as your breath tickles his ear, "A bit, yeah."
You kiss his cheek and deliver your apology with a heartfelt whisper, "I'm sorry, baby."
-
YOU: I, of course, feel bad for not giving Jamie the heads up about the kiss I did with Maeve. He looks rather upset but I know I deserve it.
-
It's probably luck that follows you throughout the times you spent in the retreat.
Everyone forgot about your rulebreaking as Daniel decides to get a new bed partner. He used to sleep with Heidi but tonight, he decides to sleep with Aly.
You nudge Jamie who's sleeping with his head nuzzles in your neck to witness the drama happening in the room.
His mouth opens in surprise while you look at Heidi who's slumped down on the bed.
"You okay?" You mouth at her.
"No," she mouths back.
You turn to look at Jamie, "Oh my God!" You lowly gasp.
"I feel bad for Heidi," Jamie whispers.
"Me too," you say back behind the duvet at Jamie.
-
YOU: Let's say we never know what's going to happen next [shrugs]
-
The mood the next morning has been set to gloomy with the drama that happened last night.
The good news is there's no sign of anyone breaking any rules and the bad news is that Jamie seems to not moving on from your kiss with Maeve yet.
Jamie is usually chipper whenever he's with you, except for today, he seems distant even though you're working out together by the beach.
"Tighten your glutes," he instructed.
You play dumb since that's the most successful way to win a guy's heart, "tighten my what?"
Jamie chuckles and enthusiastically shows you the parts of your body you need to work on, the back of your thighs and legs. His hands don't skip the chance to rub over the curve of your ass.
"Can you feel it?" He asks as he guides you to do a proper squat by standing right behind you.
You intentionally nudge his crotch with your ass, "oh yeah, I can feel it," you answer with giggles.
By working out, you hope that it would help to release tension between you and Jamie, it worked but in the process, you're getting that tingling down there with his hands constantly touching you.
You collapse onto the yoga mat from doing a plank and groan, "Ugh... I'm so horny."
Jamie laughs as he helps you get up from the mat.
-
YOU: I realized now that maybe Jamie needs validation, he needs more than just words from me. Maybe I have to do something about it [raises an eyebrow]
-
Before you can set a plan, Lana calls everyone to the cabana.
Not sure if anyone breaks any rules but you feel sick in the stomach whenever you sit down and face her cone-shaped body.
Cole is getting ready to put his laser eyes on anyone who breaks the rules.
"No one break any rules last night," Lana announces.
Everyone seems to be letting out a sigh of relief and you feel guilty just from thinking about doing a rule break later for Jamie.
"With the couples seeming to form deeper bonds, it's time to establish how committed to each other you really are," Lana states.
Couples? You are positive you and Jamie are included in it.
"By sending some of you on dates..." Lana continues.
-
YOU: The question is... Who's going on a date? I would love to go on a date with Jamie.
-
Now everyone starts to hold their breath again with Lana dragging each piece of information just to torture all of you.
"With new arrivals," Lana finally finishes.
This is not a good time for Lana to intervene, not when you plan on taking things further with Jamie. Also, new arrivals mean that they're not adapted to the rules yet, they'll be uncontrollable, horny babies like... well, everyone here a week ago.
"The first arrival is... Mia," Lana announces.
The guys snickered in joy, excited even just from hearing the girl's name.
"I have given her a choice of dating one of the boys currently in couples."
Your mouth hangs open in surprise, you're wrong to underestimate Lana's power and that she owns this game, she's the mastermind.
"She has selected..."
-
YOU: I hate to think about it but I have an inkling that this Mia girl is going to choose Jamie [leans back on the sofa]
-
"... Jamie."
The timing is impeccable.
Things are going well between you and Jamie, then Lana, being the girl boss she is, decides to ruin all of that.
You look at Jamie and he looks slightly pleased that he got chosen.
You're spacing out the rest of the time Lana announces another arrival, a boy who chose Laura to be his date.
It's unclear whether you're jealous about him going on another date or you regret holding yourself back from him all these times.
Jamie rubs his hand up and down your arm, briefly kisses your cheek, then says, "You have nothing to worry about."
How come you trust his words when you've witnessed all these bed hoppings and jumping ships happened overnight?
-
YOU: What Jamie said only makes me even more worried. Lana said it's a test so this Mia girl must be sexy, and speaks three languages or something. You know, like a girl version of Alex.
-
Maeve is helping you style your hair for tonight.
"How do you feel about Jamie going on a date with someone?" She asks.
You shrug and sigh, sending the powder you're holding flying around your face.
"I just hope she's ugly," you jokingly answer.
"Hate to break the news but I think she's hot and a potential rulebreaker," Maeve decides to pour salt on your wound instead of soothing it.
"It's not that I don't care but I decide not to care," you explain.
You finish your make-up with a setting spray and check yourself again in the mirror, "but you know, deep down, I'm scared, shitless," you admit.
It's getting more nerve-wracking waiting for Jamie to come back from his date. Maeve keeps you occupied with happy thoughts, telling you fun things you can do in Ireland with her.
The other girls low-key comfort you by complimenting your looks. It's a nice gesture except that no one died and you're not in mourning, you just want this to get over with.
Laura is the first one to come back, guiding the new arrival by linking her arm with his.
She introduces Killian around, an Irish man who's just the perfect match for Maeve.
Killian is a great distraction, his accent is attractive and so is his smile. You keep nudging Maeve's elbow to send her hints.
Maeve replies by elbowing your side and you thought she was being playful, then turn your head around to see Jamie has came back from his date.
"Oh shit. She's hot!" Aly exclaims.
You bite your tongue and put your lips together, not wanting to lose your calm easily. There are only two possibilities, Jamie stays with you, or not.
As Jamie pulls you to the make-up room, you know it's time for him to decide.
"How was the date?" You ask with a smile.
"It was nice. We had champagne and fruits and cheeses," he gives you an answer that you don't expect.
You silently gulp air and keep on putting on a smile for him, "Sounds lovely!"
The moment passed in silence is deafening and you need to burst it. You clear your throat and hold the hand on his lap.
"So... are you here to tell me I was right for not worrying you?" You joke.
Jamie awkwardly laughs at your question and that you're right for worrying him. A part of you is in denial that you're not chosen but another part of you decides to shut him out right here, right now.
"I want to tell you that Mia and I... I think we have something going on between us and I want to get to know her more," he slowly explains.
This heart is fickle, you decided not to care but you feel a sting in your chest when he told you that.
"You're saying you chose her?" You ask for confirmation.
Jamie takes your other hand, afraid that you run away before he can explain.
"No, I'm staying with you and openly telling you that at the same time, I want to get to know Mia," he refuses your words when it's exactly what he wants.
Other girls would give him the chance but not with you, if Jamie chose her then he should stay with her. There's no use for you and him to stay together if he wants to get to know someone that isn't you.
"Jamie you can't do that. You either stay with me or be with her, you have to choose!" You insist on him settling on a decision.
-
YOU: Apparently, Jamie wants to have his cake and eat it too [shakes head]
-
You get it that Jamie is conflicted because he still likes you but the other girl offers him something that you don't give to him.
"I like you. I still want to be with you," Jamie persists.
His words are not aligned with his action. You shake your head and put his hands away, "it sounds like you're asking me to wait for you while you're getting it on with someone else."
That seems to put the nail in the coffin that he got speechless. The disappointment got to you that you and if you stayed longer, you're afraid you would say something you didn't mean to him.
"You've made your choice, Jamie," you tell him.
-
YOU: To say that I'm disappointed is an understatement. I'm livid, I'm... I was planning to take things further but yeah... [brushes hair to the back] Mia happens.
-
Can't believe that you'll be the one serving drama tonight.
You stall in the make-up room, not wanting to get to the bedroom yet. You're drying your hair after a shower and sitting there for a minute, just taking everything in and trying to let it go.
Taking a deep breath, you keep a straight face as you push the door into the bedroom and have no choice but to share a bed with Heidi since Maeve is sharing the bed with Killian.
"You alright, babe?" She quietly asks.
You hold your forehead and slump down on the bed, "it's shitty."
She gently squeezes your elbow, "yeah."
You lay down on the bed and avoid the eyes looking back and forth between you and Jamie. You may decide not to care but seeing him sleeping with another girl right in front of your eyes, hurts.
You cover your eyes with your hand and mumble, "I just want to get this day over with."
-
YOU: Jamie has decided so he has to live with that decision. Good luck, I guess.
-
If it weren't for her, Jamie would have stayed with you and you wouldn't be waking up to Heidi lowly snoring next to you.
Mia might have seduced him but it wouldn't happen if Jamie remained faithful so you decide to blame him, not her.
This is probably what Maeve felt that day when she cried, defeated, and dejected.
But Jamie has to try harder if he wants to see you cry.
"How are you feeling, sexy?" Maeve asks as she waddles in the swimming pool.
You sit on the edge with your feet dipped in the sun-warm water, "I don't know, really," you shrug.
She holds onto your leg, clinging to it to stay afloat, "You're better than her, trust me, she's not that attractive if you looked at her long enough."
You know that she's not saying that out of spite, she said all that to make you feel better.
"Saying unkind things about her doesn't make me better, Maeve," you tell her with a glare.
"I'm sorry but it's true," she says with a subtle shrug.
-
YOU: Jamie and I [sighs] We hugged, we cuddled, we slept in one bed together. I don't want to care but the truth is... I care.
-
The day drags on and you're more than happy to get to your bed except that you're not ready to see Jamie and Mia cuddling on the bed you used to sleep on.
You're hanging out with Maeve in the make-up room while she's braiding your hair to pass the time.
"We can sleep together. I'll just tell Killian—"
"And risks Heidi stealing him from you?" You cut her off with a joke.
Maeve laughs as she tied the end of your hair with an elastic band and fixes the loose hair on the back of your head.
"Enough about me. How about you and Killian?"
Maeve plops down on the chair next to you and takes a hairbrush from the table, slowly combing the end of her hair.
"We chatted a lot but not sure if we have that connection," she answers.
"But don't worry, we're getting along just fine," she assures you in response to your concerned expression.
"Is it perhaps because you haven't moved on from Felix?"
Asking her that is like walking on eggshells and you're doing it carefully. Mostly because Felix confessed that he likes you that making it seems that way to you.
"Oh come on! I've moved past that," she answers while twirling her hair around her fingers.
You consider telling her about Felix's confession that night but it comes to no use, the retreat has come halfway to finish and you're not sure if Felix still likes you.
It's close to lights out and you step into the bedroom with Maeve.
Heidi is already taking half of the bed with her long legs that you have to scoot close to the edge to lie down.
"Goodnight, everyone!" Aly says to everyone in the room and getting sleepy mumbles in return.
-
YOU: When I think about it, I'm seeing Lana more than my therapist [uneasy smiles]
-
This is not how you want to start the day.
You don't want to hear what Jamie and Mia did or how they spent $20.000 last night. He probably has pent-up tension and finally got to release it with her.
"You got the watches, man!" Cole is coming at him.
You sit back and watch it from the end of the sofa on how Jamie is trying to explain himself.
"I know you won't believe me but Mia and I, we have a connection," he explains.
"Why not act right and get rewarded?" Cole is jabbing him with words.
"You won't understand," Jamie says with a defeated sigh.
-
YOU: Maybe that's why I doubted Jamie. I can see it now, the bright side [smirks]
-
Nothing says a fresh start than doing yoga with Heidi.
Apparently, she is a licensed instructor and you feel a whole lot better after stretching your body to the limit.
You share the shower with Maeve to cut the time and get ready to dress up.
As you're applying your lipstick, Lana chimes in and makes you jolt in your seat.
Maeve's mouth drops open and she stops curling her hair altogether.
"Hello, ladies!"
"Hi, Lana," you nervously answer and push your chair away from the table.
Then she calls your name and you almost choke on air.
"Y-yes?"
"I'm offering the chance to go on a date with Felix " Lana informs out of the blue.
"Me?" You ask in disbelief.
"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks.
You turn to look at Maeve to remind yourself to be a good friend and a good friend avoid hurting her friend's feelings.
"Shouldn't we make them wait for at least 48 hours for an answer, Lana?" You playfully respond.
Maeve kicks your feet under the table, "what are you doing? Say yes!"
"Then how about you?" You blabber, not expecting that she gives you the blessing to go on a date with her former crush.
"What about me?" She asks in pure confusion.
"Don't you like him?"
Maeve excessively sighs, "I told you I've moved on!"
She kicks your feet again, "Hurry! Say yes!"
You turn to look at Lana in her mixed purple-hued lights and hesitate to say yes. Not only it means you have to start it all over again, but also letting yourself open for another heartbreak.
"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks once again.
-
YOU: I'm not sure if I'm ready to try and restart [sighs]
-
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Just friends- (Peter Maximoff X Reader)
Summary: While staying with the Maximoff family, you admit your feelings to your best friend, and he doesn’t seem to feel the same until you inform him that you’re going on a date with another guy
Word count: 4K
Warnings: angst, sad Peter, a brief mention of Unsolicited groping
I’m so thankful for the Maximoffs. They’re allowing to stay with them for a couple months after getting kicked out of my parents’ home. I’m rooming with my best friend of four years, and I’ve never been happier. As soon as he heard about my situation, he welcomed me into his home- into his bedroom- with open arms.
“Honey, I’m home,” The goofball announces as he walks into our temporally shared room holding two pizzas, a 2 liter of dr. pepper, a bag of breadsticks with all the fixings, and a rented copy of The Exorcist.
“Wow, what’s the occasion?” I giggle, sitting up in our his bed, setting down the book I had been reading.
With a fwp, he’s turned down the lights, popped the movie in and arranged the food at the foot of the bed before sitting beside me, now in his pajamas.
“It’s a party!” he gives me a cheesy grin, popping open the pizza box and pulling out two slices, handing one to me.
“Oh god, Peter are we really so lame that this is what we consider a party?” I laugh before taking a bite of the greasy pizza, still hot since Peter was able to get it here in less than three seconds.
“This is the best kind of party! Hanging with your best friend, piggin’ out on junk food, and watching a bitchin’ horror movie? What else could a dude ask for?” He says as he stuffs his face, licking his greasy fingers. I cant help but laugh at the man child sitting beside me, even though it hurts my heart a bit knowing that he only considers me his friend. Don’t get me wrong, I’m more than grateful for Peter (and his mother) being in my life, but I just always hoped for more. It’s been four years and nothing’s escalated despite my many attempts, so I guess it’s time to accept that. I mean, we’re out of high school now, were adults. If he hasn’t shown interest by now then I guess it’s a lost cause. “Besides,” he smacks his lips, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “The main thing that makes this a party is the fact that you’re here,” he gives a goofy wink, making my cheeks tint pink- but he doesn’t seem to notice.
“How flattering,” I nudge him playfully before opening the 2 liter, taking a sip out of the bottle then handing it to Peter. He mimics my action, then lets out a loud belch.
‘how in the hell does this man have me absolutely smitten over him,’ think to myself as he shoves an entire breadstick into his mouth.
“Whatever,” he chuckles looking away for a second.
“God damn Peter,” my eyes go wide when I see that he’s already eaten half a large pizza.
“What?” he asks as he holds his head up, his arm extended as he lets the cheese slide off the crust into his mouth. “Gotta fuel my metabolism, these rock hard abs don’t just appear overnight,” he snickers before lifting up his shirt, revealing his toned stomach, then takes another gulp out of the soda bottle.
“I guess your body does look pretty good for someone whose diet is 50% carbs and 50% sugar,” I tease, thanking whatever deity it is above us that the lights are too dim for him to see the blush rushing over my face as I stare at his bare stomach.
“You’d think the chicks would be all over this,” he wiggles his eyebrows before deepthroating another breadstick. “They wouldn’t know charm if it bit ‘em in the ass,” he mumbles through a mouth full of bread as marinara sauce drips down his face. “I mean come on, how do I not get girls?” He snickers as he wipes his grubby hands on his pants. I roll my eyes at the messy boy.
“Peter, I know you very well,” I reach for my second slice of pizza. “The reason you don’t get girls is because you can never tell when they’re flirting with you,” I tease, but meaning every word. He’s the dullest guy ever when it comes to picking up on social cues.
“I know,” he chuckles as he turns to look at me. “Real shame too. Sometimes I realize it after they’ve already walked away. Sucks cause I probably coulda’ lost my V-card by now if I understood the first thing about gals. I really can’t pick up on flirting” he says matter-o-factly as he takes a sip of soda.
“Oh, I know all too well, Peter,” I laugh out, my eyes focused on the tv screen. He gives a soft, almost confused laugh, then he’s silent for a minute before speaking up.
“Wait a minute,” he sits up straight in the bed. “Are you implying that even you’ve flirted with me?” he asks with wide eyes full of skepticism. I take a deep breath, sitting up to be eye level with him.
“Peter,” I start, he’s staring intently at me with his brows threaded in confusion. “The only reason I talked to you for the first time was because I thought you were cute,” I laugh out. How can he be so dense?! He stares at me in bewilderment in silence. I can see the gears turning in his head as he thinks back to our first encounter all those years ago.
“Oh my god!” he comes to the realization. “You were flirting with me that summer day in the arcade?” he asks still shocked. It makes my heart happy that he remembers the first time we met. “How did I not realize. God I’m stupid,” he slaps his palm to his forehead.
“Only took ya four years, Quickie,” I tease before taking a sip of Dr. Pepper. “Wasn’t the very first thing that I ever said to you: ‘You’re really good at that, handsome’?” I say and he repeats the quote with me, smiling and nodding. He remembers it word for word. “Come on man, how did you not know?” I chuckle. His eyes are still full of disbelief.
“I was really focused on the game!” his face turns red as he has another epiphany: “That probably wasn’t the only time, was it?” he asks, rubbing his hand on the back of neck, letting out a small laugh.
“God no,” I chuckle, a bit embarrassed but enjoying reminiscing on our friendship none the less. “Remember, two weeks after that, I invited you out to go roller skating?” I ask.
“Yeah of course, you were wearing that limited edition ‘Eagles’ shirt that you still to this day won’t let me touch,” he laughs. I thought that having this conversation would help me get over him, but hearing how well he remembers all our fondest memories together makes me swoon.
“Well, when I asked you, I meant it as a date,” I admit, watching his face once again fill with bewilderment. “But the whole time you were calling me dude and roughhousing me, I just assumed you either didn’t like me that way or you were to dumb to realize it was a date. Lucky for you, I had a lot of fun and chose to ignore it,” I nudge him playfully. He face palms himself again.
“Y/n, I had no idea. I never in a million years thought a girl as rad as you would be interested in me in that way, so the idea of a date never even crossed my mind,” he flops back on the bed, processing all of this new information. “Wait do you still flirt with me? How oblivious have I been? Oh my god am I still missing stuff?” he shoots back up in the bed once again..
“Peter,” I say flatly. “Just last week I changed right Infront of you. I literally stripped into just my bra and panties right next to the tv when you were playing Space Invaders,” I can’t believe this guy. He blushes thinking back to that moment.
“I thought we were just really comfortable with each other! We change infront of each other all the time,” he chuckles nervously. “I still tried not to look out of respect, but I’d be lying if I say I didn’t sneak a glance or two though,” he admits but looks away, avoiding eye contact.
“It’s alright Peter,” I sigh as I close up the pizza box before laying back to watch the movie. “Once a girl comes along that you’re actually interested in, I’m sure you’ll pick up on her signals,” I say not looking at him, accepting my defeat. He’s quiet for a moment.
“Well, how do I know?” he asks genuinely. I look at him, raising my eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate. “Like, obviously I know a hot chick when I see one, but how do I know when I’m actually interested. I’m clueless y/n,” he lets out a light laugh after the last part, seeming a bit embarrassed as he intently awaits my answer.
“Well,” I prop myself up on my arm to look at him. “I guess it would have to be more than physical attraction. If you’re genuinely interested, then you’ll want more than her body, but also want more than just her friendship. You’ll want to talk to her, to just be in her presence. You’ll care about what she thinks about you. Stuff like that,” I shrug, not sure how to explain what attraction feels like to someone who claims to have never felt it before. He nods silently, absorbing my words. The fact that he hasn’t laughed in my face yet for admitting to liking him is giving me false hope that he could possibly feel the same way. I need this conversation to end soon.
“So it would have to be someone I can see a future with? Someone that I want to impress? Someone that I genuinely care about? But also someone who’s super smokin’?” he asks, wanting a genuine answer. I smile downwardly.
“You’re getting it now,” I sigh. “I’ll be jealous of whatever girl wins your heart over,” I laugh, holding my breath in anticipation for how he’s going to respond to that, preparing to have my hopes crushed so I can move on.
“Oh don’t worry,” he smirks. Here we go. “I’ll make room for the both of you,” he winks. And there it is. My stomach drops, but it’s out now. Now I know that he’s not interested, I know for sure that I’m going on this date tonight. Part of me hoped that Peter would admit his feelings and I could cancel this stupid date, but I have to get out there. “Oh! No, y/n I didn’t mean-” Peters smile drops, and he reaches for my arm.
“No, I get it. It’s cool, man,” I force a smile, standing from his bed, checking my wristwatch. “I gotta get ready for my date anyway. I didn’t even realize what time it was,” I say honestly as I walk over to my suitcase.
“Woah, what?” he zooms in front of me, blocking my bag. “Date?” he asks, a bit of panic in his voice. I scoff, pushing him to the side.
“Yeah, I went to the arcade yesterday while you were out with your mom, now I have a date,” I smile weakly as I strip, then slip into my dress before I walk over to my mirror that I hung on his wall to fix my makeup.
“No- y/n- i- that’s- who… whos your date with?” his words fall out a stumbled mess as if he can’t sort his thoughts from one another.
“Steve. Ya know, the one from the arcade that’s always trying to beat your high scores,” I explain as I brush my hair.
“Steve!?” He shouts in disbelief. “That asshole? Y/n come on, man!,” he almost sounds angry.
“Yeah?” I shrug as I apply some lip gloss. I see Peter pacing behind me in the reflection of the mirror.
“Steve? Really?” he throws his hands up.
“He’s cute. Plus, you know I have a thing for nerds,” I remind him. His face turns red. Why is he acting like this? He just crushed my dream of being with him and now he wants to act jealous?
“Cute?! You mean you’re not just going to be nice?” He sounds so shocked and almost hurt. I turn around to face him.
“I- of course Peter why would I-,” I’m completely flustered. “No.” I say sternly. “No Peter. You don’t get to do this. You had four years man, and just 15 minutes ago I admitted my feelings for you and you said that you didn’t feel the same,” I’m getting frustrated with him, I can feel my blood pressure raising out of anger and embarrassment.
“But that’s not- I didn’t- no you misunderstood!” he starts to raise his voice, laced with panic. “What if I do have feelings for you?” he asks with pleading eyes.
“Do not do this. Peter please don’t do this to me! You can’t suddenly have feelings for me just because I have a date with you nerd enemy!” I shout as my ears burn red with anger. “Don’t be immature,” I poke my finger to his chest, completely irate. He looks like his mind is running a thousand miles a minute. It takes him a couple seconds to rebuttal.
“No! I never said I don’t have feelings! Y/n I didn’t say that!” he shouts, but his voice isn’t angry, it’s worried as he places a hand on my heated cheek.
“No Peter,” I say calmly even though I’m beyond frustrated as I pull away from his touch. “You’re really hurting me right now. You’re the last guy I ever expected to fuck with my emotions like this,” tears well up in my eyes. I can’t believe what he’s doing. My ego was already bruised when he didn’t respond to my confession and now he’s trying to keep me from a date just because the dude plays video games just as well as him. Peter stares at me, his hand still outstretched in the air where he tried to console me. He doesn’t say anything.
Honk! Honk!
Steves car horn sounds from outside the Maximoff home, beckoning me.
“Please don’t go,” his voice is feeble. “Please just give me some time to think. Just five minutes to figure this out,” he pleads with desperate eyes. I almost give in, but I stay strong.
“Peter, there’s a guy outside this house that already has his feelings sorted. You stay here and figure it out. I’m leaving,” I seethe as I stare at his confused and hurt expression, almost making me apologize, but I’m too hurt and embarrassed. He doesn’t say anything, he just grips his fists so tight that his knuckles turn white, his jaw clenches, and I see that he’s holding back tears. I immediately turn to run up the steps because if I look at him for one more second, I would be holding him in my arms, telling him I’m sorry and letting him cry it out. Not today.
•
•
After Steve picked me up, we went to dinner, then to the drive-in theatre. I’m having… a decent time. He’s a little boring compared to Peter, no one can make me laugh like he can. I’m also a bit distracted at how I left my best friend. I think I may have been too hard on him. Now that I’ve calmed down, I think he really was just trying to sort things out. I know that Peter isn’t the most emotionally mature and definitely doesn’t have a way with words.
‘oh god, what have I done?’ I think to myself in horror.
“What do you say, huh?” Steves deep voice shakes me out of my thoughts.
“I’m sorry,” I smile sweetly. “What was that?” I bat my lashes at him, hoping he doesn’t notice that I’ve been thinking about another guy the whole time he’s been speaking to me.
“I said: Why don’t we move to back?” he smirks motioning towards his back seat.
“Uh,” I know exactly what he’s alluding to. Do I really want to go down that road? “Yeah, okay,” I smile. I guess I do. We get out of the vehicle and hop into the back. He immediately pulls me into his lap. I’m a bit taken back by his sudden grip on my body.
“You ever been touched by a real man?” he asks as he peppers kisses all over my neck as his cold hands slip under my dress without even asking. I’m shocked, disgusted, and confused.
“I-uh- can you stop please?” I pull arm out of his grip and crawl out of his lap.
“Hey, I paid for your food and your ticket. You owe me!” he shouts, grabbing my arm again. I have so much pent up rage from earlier, I didn’t even realize it when my hand shot out to slap him across the face full force. He looked at me stunned before getting out of his car, opening the door and literally throwing me out. He picks me up by shoulders and tosses me onto the dusty, bare, dirt. He drives away without a single word.
“What the fuck,” I mutter to myself as I stand up, brushing the dirt off myself. A young man from the next car over rushes to the scene, asking if I’m okay. I simply thank him for his concern, then take the walk of shame back to Peters house.
Now I remember why I waited for Peter for so long; He’s the only decent guy I’ve ever met. As if the silent, cold, horrifying walk back to the Maximoff house at midnight wasn’t punishment enough, once I arrive and enter his bedroom, the sight I see makes my heart break completely in two. I feel physical pain when I see Peter.
His room is dark as he’s laid on his couch, curled up In a blanket, staring at the starter screen on his Tank video game on the box Television. The flashing light reflects on his blank face, allowing me to see his bloodshot eyes, red nose, and puffy lips from crying. He hasn’t seemed to notice me enter the room. My own eyes immediately fill up with the tears I was trying so hard to hold back.
“Peter,” I let out a somber whisper. He jumps up, looking at me with wide, puffy eyes.
“Are you crying?” he zooms up to me, grabbing my arm. “Did he hurt you?” he asks, putting a hand on my cheek. How can he still care about my feelings after how I left things?
“I’m okay Peter,” I lean into his touch. “I should have listened to you, though. You were right about him,” my tear stained eyes meet his. His face flushes in anger.
“What did he do to you? Is he still here? I swear I’ll kill the guy!” He raises his voice with every sentence, balling his hands into fists.
“It’s- I, uhm, would rather not talk about it,” I look down avoiding his gaze.
“Y/n, did he hurt you, yes or no? That’s all I need to know,” He gently lifts my chin to meet his gaze again but I close my eyes. I can’t look at him with out the guilt from making him cry making me feel sick.
“…Yes,” I Whisper, not wanting to elaborate. With a fwp Peter’s gone. I hear the front door open, I rush out to the sidewalk.
“Where the fuck is he?” Peter screams in a tone that I rarely hear from him. He turns to look at me, his once sad expression now pure unfiltered anger: A look I’ve never seen on him before. I’m almost scared.
“He’s not here Peter, I had to walk home from the drive in,” I sigh. Peter looks at me as if he doesn’t believe what I’m saying. He kicks the neighbor’s trash can in anger. With a loud clang, the metal bin is sent flying down the street, his foot mark now permanently indented in the can.
‘Steve’s lucky he isn’t here right now. Jesus Christ’ I think to myself.
“Let’s just go inside, please. I need to talk to you,” I say softly as I grab his tensed arm. He looks at me, his expression softening before he allows me to lead him inside.
I bring him in and sit him down on the couch, it’s silent for a few beats, neither one of us want to look at the other one.
“I’m sorry,” we both blurt out at the same time, snapping our heads to look at each other. The awkwardness subsides as we smile at each other. We both try to start our apology at the same time, then erupt into giggles.
“Let me go first,” I put a light hand on Peters knee. He shakes his head ‘no’.
“No. I’m going first. I finally got everything sorted out,” he takes a deep breath. “Y/n, I do have feelings for you and I’m sorry. I’m just a stupid boy that never learned how to process emotions. You’re amazing! You’re my best friend and I feel so horrible that I hurt you. When you were explaining what it felt like to be attracted to someone, you just explained word for word how I feel about you. I was just confused, everything happened so fast, and I honestly thought you were joking with me at first. I’ve always kind of had the hots for you, but I never in a million years thought that you could ever be attracted to me, so I locked those thoughts away. I’m sorry that I couldn’t express this sooner. I’m so so sorry,” he says in a rush of words, I almost have trouble keeping up with the words coming out of his mouth. His big brown puppy eyes scan my face for my reaction. I just smile at him, tears once again swelling in my eyes for about the third time tonight.
“Peter, you’re such a sweet guy,” I grin and his face beams with joy. “I was such an asshole to you earlier… I’m sorry. My ego and my heart were hurt and I should not have taken that out on you. The way that you still cared about me when I got back from that awful date even though I had upset you right before I left just shows how amazing of a person you are. You are the best thing in my life,” a tear rolls down my cheek, Peter quickly wipes it away.
“Hey, come here,” he says softly before pulling me into his chest. As he pulls me into his strong arms, the scent of his cologne and the warmth of his body makes me forget about every problem I’ve ever had. The steady rise and fall of his chest and his fingers running though my hair could put me to sleep in an instant. “I don’t blame you for anything. That situion just unfolded really poorly and we both said some things we shouldn’t have, but that’s over now,” he kisses my forehead as I snuggle further into him.
“Thank you, Peter,” I yawn as I wrap my arms around his torso. He continues brushing his fingers through my hair and tracing mindless designs on my back, I feel myself drifting off to sleep, all the stress I had been feeling now completely subsided. I lay in his arms, wrapped in comfort as if he’s a warm towel straight out of the dryer. I hear him whisper,
“Goodnight, beautiful,” as he clicks off the tv with the remote. A small smile creeps onto my lips as I slip off to sleep.
#evan peters#evan peters smut#ahs cult#ahs hotel#jimmy darling smut#kai anderson#kit walker smut#ahs asylum#ahs fandom#ahs murder house#evan peters x reader#peter maximoff smut#peter maximoff#warren lipka smut#warren lipka#tate langdon smut#tate langdon
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This is burning a hole into my brain, but what if new game+ gave you the option to summon Carlo instead of Specter and he offers stupid/witty commentary for each boss you fight with him. Tbh this is just for fun, but I wanted to share in case anybody else might like it
Might have to put this one under a cut it could get long. Also spoiler warning!
Scrapped Watchman
• I never liked cops, this is going to be fun!
• Do we really need a watchman this big?
• Okay Sparky, let’s dance!
• (if he gets picked up) Shit-! -> Ugh- okay that might’ve hurt a little.
• Haha! Good riddance! Don’t know what the local kids saw in that thing.
King’s Flame
• Oh boy, a walking furnace.
• Have I ever mentioned I hate the heat?
• The floor is lava! Shit!
• (if he’s set on fire) I know I’m hot, but this is ridiculous! / Hot! Too hot!
• Sigh, thank god. I could never work alongside that… thing.
Archbishop
• Oh wow, that is… hard to look at.
• Watch the chicken legs!
• Really?! With its tongue?! Disgusting!
During phase 2
• How did he manage to get even uglier?
• You should’ve stayed in your shell!
• God chose you to be an Angel alright. Just not a living one.
Black Rabbit Brotherhood
• Some rabbit, the big guy looks more like a pig to me!
• Would somebody shut her up!
• Half of you aren’t even rabbits! That stupid bucket looks like a dog!
• You are too full of yourself, bunny boy.
• These guys need better fursuits
• Pathetic… And don’t bother coming back!
King of Puppets
• Something feels wrong about this.
• That voice…
• No… It can’t be-!
Second phase
• Romeo?!
• Romeo please! Why won’t you stop, it’s me!
• How do we get through to him?!
• No!!! UGH Why wouldn’t you LISTEN?! *shakey inhale* Damn it, just go! Get out of this damn place.
Victor
• What do you want? Are we killing my best friend in disguise again?
• I finally get to see this guy in action and I’m the one who has to fight him! Seriously?!
• This guy really is all washed up.
• That can’t be good for you.
• Yikes, those fists pack one hell of a punch!
• That Simon guy is a real piece of work. Good luck with that.
Green Monster
• Ohh this thing looks disgusting.
• It sounds disgusting too, I think I’m going hurl!
• It slimed me!
Phase 2
• Not the giant cop again!
• Would you! Just! Sit! Still!
• I can only imagine what it smells like in that puppet chassis.
• That was truly vile. If you ever need help fighting a giant slime monster again PLEASE hesitate to ask.
Black Rabbit Brotherhood 2
• Didn’t you learn your lessons last time?
• Lord, are these guys full of themselves.
• If you couldn’t beat us last time what makes you think you can this time?
• Looks like the pig wants his bacon cooked again!
• You had to mutate yourself because you wouldn’t beat us last time? Now THAT is pathetic.
• Still losers. Still pretentious. Still pathetic. How disappointing.
Laxasia
• Hmm. Big sword.
• Oh and it makes lightning too, great!
• How can she move so fast with all that armour!?
Phase 2
• Ohhhh good, now she’s even faster!
• Weakness to it or not electricity still hurts like hell!
• There she goes into the air again. Coward!
• Well that wasn’t fun, but I suspect it’ll be even less fun in that tower.
Simon
• Isn’t that the guy from the exhibition?
• This guy is a real piece of work.
• And I thought the rabbits were full of themselves!
Phase 2
• I didn’t think it could get any worse!
• Who needs this many hands?!
• God or not this guy is going down!
• The last like after Simon is defeated depends on your playthrough: Truth “Until next we meet. Which will be sooner than you think, I can’t wait.” Punctuated by a dark chuckle. Lie “I’ll see you again soon. For what it’s worth though… I’m sorry.”
Bonus: depending on what playthrough you did the Nameless Puppet will actually talk and have different dialogue
Truth playthrough/Lie playthrough
• I’ve been waiting for this for too damn long. / I didn’t want it to come to this.
• You don’t deserve that heart! It’s rightfully mine! / Please, you have to understand! I need that heart!
• You stupid puppet, I hope you didn’t think father actually cared about YOU! / Gepetto never cared for you, I wish he had, at least you could’ve known love.
• Why won’t you DIE ALREADY!? / I deserve to live too, this isn’t fair for either of us!
• You will NEVER be me, just give up already! / You may not be me, but you deserve better than this.
During Phase 2 the puppet won’t speak, but Carlo’s dialogue will be inserted along everyone else’s, tbh I want to have him say something during phase 2, but there’s already so much going on during that fight. In a truth playthrough the ending will play out as normal and Gepetto will die, calling Pinocchio a useless puppet, Pinocchio will be the one to finish off Carlo’s vessel. In a lie playthrough Carlo will finally be able to control his actions and is unable to finish off Pinocchio, he shuts himself down while giving one final line.
“Maybe in another life we could have been… brothers.”
Gepetto is distraught and instead of shedding tears for his father Pinocchio sheds them for Carlo
A lot of his radient dialogue would consist of laughter that borders on unhinged and the usual exertion and damage taking grunts. Regardless of what playthrough you do he wants to keep either his heart or Pinocchio alive, so if his health falls below half he has a chance of reminding you to heal. Also depending on the playthrough he’ll either compliment perfect blocks, parry’s, dodges or hits for lies and for truths he’ll be a snarky asshole, claiming he could do just as good if not better
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I love love LOVE your bsf to lover stuff with sejanus it's one of my favorite tropes and with himmm?? 🫠
tysm!! here's more just for you anon <3
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
you and sejanus plinth have been best friends ever since he came to the Capitol from district 2. you were the only person who ever stood up to his relentless bullies that were your classmates and he couldn't thank you enough for that. things soon became conflicting, though. after being friends for years, you realized you really really liked him and wanted to be more than friends. you refused to say anything due to not wanting to fuck up a perfectly good friendship. this was your thought process until today.
you were walking down the elegant halls of the academy when you felt a hand grip your shoulder from behind. you turn around panicked, just to see it was sejanus. you lightly punch him in the arm in a joking way. "asshole." you giggle. "oh my god whatever will I do? my best friend just called me an asshole!" he said sarcastically while doing dramatic hand motions. you laugh at his silly antics and step closer to him, closing the distance between you two. "sej I was wondering if you wanted to hang out at the park today? I know it's like really last minute so no worries if you can't!" you say. "of course I do. what else would I be doing anyways?" he smiles. "okay! meet me there in half an hour." you tell him, reaching the exit of the building. he waves to you and you return the gesture, excited to be able to see him. you get in a car that you called and make your way home.
when you arrive, you basically run out of the car to go get changed. you debate several different options before settling on your favorite outfit. while waiting for the appropriate time to leave came, you did some thinking. you decided today was the day to confess your undying love for your best friend. it was the perfect day, truly. not too hot, not too cold and at the park no less. it seemed like the stars had aligned. a wave of nervousness washed over you, realizing that if he didn't feel the same way, you would have no one. many of your classmates refused to talk to you because you were associated with the district born boy. you didn't mind at all though, as long as you had sejanus by your side, everything was perfect. you straighten up your outfit and perfect your hair before heading out to the designated spot.
you sit at you and sej's usual spot, a specific bench that overlooks the large and majestic lake. you were lost in your thoughts when you feel a presence next to you. you turn to see sejanus's beautiful dark curls and matching eyes. "hey." you smile. "hey yourself. you look nice." he returns the gesture and you can physically feel yourself fall more in love with the boy. "you feeling alright?" he asks, worry spreading across his gorgeous features. "oh- yeah I'm fine." you say. "you're not convincing in the slightest. what's wrong?" he puts his hand over yours, his touch addicting. you take a deep breath, knowing it's now or never. "I- uh- just wanted to tell you something." you say, nervousness and anxiety soaking your words. the second you say that you can see worry plastered all over him. you knew from his now rigid stance that he was expecting the worst. "shoot. you can tell me anything." he states with the kind and charming voice you have loved since you met. you take another deep breath, preparing yourself for the absolute worst. "I know this is going to sound completely out of nowhere and I'm so sorry but I'm in love with you. I've loved you since the day we met and every time we talk or even every time I'm around you I just fall more in love and I just needed to get this weight off of my chest." you say, words coming out at lightning speed. you look down in your lap, afraid to make eye contact after admitting something like that. you hear sejanus whisper a "wow" under his breath, not in a malicious way. you finally have the courage to look up at him. he looks at you with absolute adoration. "I love you too." he finally says and you can't help the grin that spreads across your face like wildfire. the man of your dreams just said that he loved you. you were convinced you were dreaming.
sej breaks you out of your trace by putting his hand on your cheek and moving his thumb back and forth over your skin. "I always thought you were the most gorgeous person in all of panem, you know." he says softly. your smile increases tenfold as you put your forehead against his chest. you giggle into him and he does too, his body shaking slightly as he does so, his angelic voice soothing you. you take your face away from his body and kiss him on the cheek. "you missed." he said. you tilt your head slightly and cock and eyebrow. "huh?" he grabs under your chin gently and gives you a soft peck on the lips. you lean into it, feeling at ease. the interaction unfortunately ends and you look up at him and flush red. you then face away and out your head against his shoulder as he wraps his arm around yours. the two of you watch the sun set as you praise each other, neither of you ever feeling so content as in that moment.
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
an: I hope you enjoyed! ik I say that every time but I really mean it. hope this lives up to your best friends to lovers sejanus idea 🙏
#the hunger games x reader#tbosas#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#sejanus plinth x you#sejanus x reader#sejanus plinth x reader#sejanus plinth#tbosas x reader#tbosas x you#plinthpilled
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i dont have all of my sam thots and dean thoughts just yet but I had to send in this bc I completely forgot about meg! sam
and its a damn shame that we didn't see more of that bc it solidified my stance on being a sam girlie
we got at least 3 episodes of demon dean (i have not seen him yet i've only heard about it) but we got like less than half an hour with meg! sam and honestly we deserved more with him
meg! sam made me feel lots of things LOLL
(i wanted to be jo SO BAD in that episode LMAO)
now i need your thots on him please :p
KJDFSJL NO BECAUSE... NOOO I CANT thinking about the amount of meg!sam edits i've seen in the past few days. thinking about the one saved in my camera roll. thinking about throwing up pissing my pants projectile vomiting and passing the fuck out. i reiterate tho, i'm normal!! i'm so so so normal and i don't feel things about it!!!!!!!
i'm honestly still like borderline unsure about how nsfw i want to get on this blog, but uhhh i'm just gonna start typing and see where my dirty fucking mind takes me!
cw : highly suggestive!! no smut, but still absolutely no minors!! MDNI!! contains condescending/mean/possessed sam, but also sweet sam too <33. use of gendered terms, but it is gender inclusive to fem, masc, and gn as much as i could make it! horrible writing it's genuinely just me going feral :))
sooo basically for me the worst (best) part of meg!sam was his voice! it's so bad (never have i ever heard anything hotter in my life). IDK I DONT EVEN THINK I CAN FORM A COHERENT THOUGHT OVER THIS NOT GONNA LIE. uhm uhhh ummmm uhhhh uhmmmm.
so basically so basically, essentially, wwowowowowowowowifjhshf alright lets focus on one thing at a time.
we'll start with that goddamn voice of his. the way it goes from teasing, condescending to deeper, more gravelly and matter-of-fact and then back to condescending LIKE WHOO IM GONNA NEED TO TAKE A LAP. idk just thinking about his large hand on the back of your head, maybe tangled in your hair if the way you wear it allows for that, and his veiny forearm visible through your peripheral vision as he says "open up.. that's a girl" like he did to jo😭😭😭 (or he's says "thaaat's it" to keep things gender neutral, dragging out the "that's" for an extra second, that extra gravel in his condescending tone).
and while this is in possessed!sam context, he'd definitely say things like that normally, i do personally envision him to be less condescending and more sincere. either way, hot as fuck if you ask me. also this isn't meg!sam, but in season seven he says "good girl" and i do listen to that clip several times a day, i am so serious when i say that and i have no shame about it!! i have daddy issues so i do not care!!! so yeah he also says good girl/boy/whatever variation you enjoy best <3 uhmmm yeah but the main point is his hot as fuck voice, right next to your ear with his breath tickling you sensitive skin. especially with that whisper. oh god the whisper😭 and along with "that's a girl," there's atta girl and he'd use that one too so i'll go die in a hole :))) but yeah he genuinely thinks you're so good for him so expect that praise, whether you want it sweet or mean.
then we also have his facial expressions!! the smirk he uses to rile you up or that he flashes you, all mean and haughty because he knows he's getting to you. the fake pity too!! lord help me, once again the utterly fake pity just falls under that condescending persona that was so hot about meg!sam. i'm just gonna use photo evidence and you can imagine him looking at you like that!! enjoy!
last thing i have to say about meg!sam is manhandling!! ahahaahahahaahahah i'm normal and okay!! (this is a cry for help i need him so bad). um yeah while i hate the context of the manhandling of jo in the episode because it's crossing so many boundaries, i will still enjoy the fact that he is hot. so yeah! have fun thinking about sam whirling you around and pinning you between his chest and nearest surface, hand on your forehead to tilt your chin up and give him full access to the skin of your neck. his other hand is pinning your wrist to whatever surface is behind you, and your own free hand is tangled in his hair and he lays wet, desperate kisses all over your neck and collarbone. that's all hahahahaha :)))) feeling so sane right now!!
#spn sam winchester#sam winchester#sam winchester fanfiction#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester supernatural#sam winchester suggestive#supernatural headcanon#sam winchester headcanon#supernatural suggestive#sam winchester smut#supernatural smut#. >> mooties ౨ৎ !#. >> daisy ౨ৎ !
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Dove Cameron’s Alchemical album is so fucking bat coded I feel like a conspiracy theorist.
(This went off the rails at one point, so WARNING: vague mentions of sexual assault and being drugged without consent)
First song: Lethal Woman.
Cass, all over, right? The bridge is “she walks like a saint, floats like an angel, sharp like a knife under the table”
c o m e o n
Second song: Still.
“Man on the screen, they only see whatever you want them to see” and “Supernova self-erasing, hourglass is always draining”
Could be either Tim or Bruce, but I lean toward Tim because of “how dare you, dare me to love you, if you jump I will too” because whenever Tim decides he loves someone, he’s the ride or die, ends of the earth type, even if they don’t even know who he is. A) how and why he became Robin in the first place, B) The Cloning Thing, C) an argument could be made for the Captain Boomerang thing (but now that I think of it, I think I’m mostly basing this off fanon oh well ontotgenextone).
Song Three: Breakfast.
I will admit out the gate that this one’s a reach, so I’m just going to leave Selina here.
Song Four: Sand.
For this I’m thinking Tim or Jason, for different reasons.
For Tim;
“I saw the end when we began, you couldn’t love the way I can, I tried to bargain with the stars, for more than half your heart but you have more pieces of me than the dessert has sand, and I have less pieces of you than I could hold in my hand” and “our love’s misaligned, ‘cause you’re on my mind every night, I stretch out the time, and now I know why.”
I’m just making it obvious I read the Red Robin run, aren’t I?
For Jason:
“What's worse, being wanted but not loved, or loved but not wanted? What's worse, hearing what you wanna hear, or hearing what's honest?” And “What hurts, is the one thing that you wanna do, is the one thing that you shouldn’t do”
Pre-death Jason, but like, right after the Garzonas thing.
Song five: White Glove.
Okay hear me out.
This is part one of the Dick Grayson saga; the persona he shows to the public. This is Richie Wayne. This is every honeypot mission he went on too young, every woman he’s had to seduce for information (it’s one hundred percent happened before don’t fight me) every source of sexual trauma (that one I’m ninety percent sure is canon) that keeps him up at night.
And this guy’s been a vigilante for over twenty years, he can absolutely recognize drugs by sight, smell, and how they feel when he’s too late to notice something slipped in his drink. He’s felt nearly every strain of fear toxin and every one of Ivy’s pollens. If anyone knows their drugs it’s pretty boy Richie Wayne and Robin.
Song six: God’s Game
This one I’m definitely taking some lines out of context, but for Jason, “Just a boy with a man's face, playin' God's game” is when he’s taking over Crime Alley, pit-mad and trigger happy. “I prepare with so much care, I was runnin', it was stunnin', I am desperate from delusions, not much of a solution, never knowin' what the truth is, oh, God” is when hid plans start to fall apart, when Bruce slits his throat with a batarang, when eventually the pit-madness eventually starts to wear off and he realizes what all he did to Tim, who was a child at the time, not to mention Robin.
He nearly became what the Joker was to him to the next Robin, and I feel like at some point that would occur to him.
Song seven: Boyfriend.
(…Admittedly, I don’t think this one has any grounding in canon and if it does, feel free to educate me.)
So, obviously I could mention Kate Kane at this point, but I know basically nothing about her, so instead I’m going to talk about Steph.
So Steph has definitely had some shitty experiences with guys, right? Like, her dad to begin with, but also the guy who got her pregnant (at like fourteen? Maybe I’m just sheltered, but I don’t think anything about that relationship was heathy—again, I haven’t read many of the comics, so correct me if I’m wrong), then Tim, which, I love him as a character, but didn’t he date her in the mask for like, months, and I have some vague recollections of some dickish things he said (i know i know i need to read more comics)—whatever. Men are shitty.
I have a scene in my head. Like, Steph’s in college, at a bar with friends or something, maybe it’s an under cover op, idk, and there’s this girl she’s been lowkey watching all night. She doesn’t quite know why, but she just keeps catching her eye, and okay, it’s not like she’s never questioned her sexuality, she knows Cass. There have been Extensive conversations with Babs on the subject.
Anyway, so at some point, there’s obviously some sort of argument between the girl and the guy she came with and the girl’s crying, and Steph just Can’t Handle That.
She goes up to her, comforts her, makes a new friend, listens to the whole story.
And at some point, she has the thought.
“I could be a better boyfriend than him.”
She doesn’t necessarily do anything about it that night, but now that she’s had the thought, it won’t leave her alone.
Yeah. So. Maybe I’ll write that story later.
Song eight (last song): FRAGILE THINGS.
Dick Grayson part two; So your mentor (dad) just died, leaving you an angry murder child, another one hanging on by a thread after losing eighty percent of his support system, a grieving butler (grandfather), and a mantle the size of the Most Dangerous City in America. Any direction you move is going to hurt someone, and one kid is more likely to snap and murder people than the other, and hey, if you have to be Batman anyway, might as well let your brilliant kid brother be Nightwing, right? Except, whoops, you forgot to mention that last part and now Timmy thinks you just replaced him without telling him and fuck you knew you were forgetting something and now there’s a goddamned imposter Bruce and—
“Love is like a house of fragile things, where hearts can be broken as easy as antiques, and now there’s glass all shattered at my feet, what we built together, you left in smithereens.”
Anyway. This got kind of incoherent (or maybe it was from the start?)
I accidentally added a poll at the bottom and can’t figure out how to remove it, so.
#batfam#batman#cassandra cain#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#stephanie brown headcanon#stephanie brown#damian not included bc he’s baby#dick has so much trauma that just never comes up what must his brain be like#is he on meds? he probably should be#actually all the bats should be but we all knew that#it was so tempting to put tim for breakfast for gender reasons but i think i’ll do that on ao3 instead#this is so long#im so tired#im sorry#is this was a shitpost is? nobody asked for this#i didn’t ask for this#also i maybe running a fever#im going to bed now
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Soooo....
Turnabout Storyteller.
I had already vaguely known about Uendo having DID due to me not necessarily avoiding spoilers when reading fanfic, but...
I have so many thoughts on this as someone who HAS the disorder they're representing here.
Like, one, I definitely appreciated the way they revealed it -- during a Mood Matrix session. Having multiple sets of feelings and having them switch on and off like that is def a thing. I've/we've experienced that before.
But also -- before that, when Uendo was switching between his "characters" and everyone thought he was just putting on a performance? Yeah, see. They did that really well considering that like -- yes, the way alters hold the body/the face can be really different. They certainly felt like different people, which was really cool to see. I liked the different poses they had because as I played I was like, "Huh... is he the character with DID...? He is, right?"
The thing is, I'm like 80% certain that Uendo is the murderer, and THAT annoys me -- but I'm not done playing through the case, yet. I just started the second half of the trial, so.... I'll comment as I go.
But if I'm right and Uendo IS the murderer, I'm gonna have to roll my eyes because soooo many pieces of media use my disorder to show HEY SOMEONE WITH THIS COULD BE A KILLER AND NOT KNOWWWWW and I hate that. Because like.... no.
OH THANK GOD. Like 3 seconds into the send half of the trial and it's NOT Uendo. Yay. Yayyyyy. I'm actually really glad they did that subversion of the person-with-DID-is-the-killer trope. Thank fucking GOD.
SIMON GRABBING ATHENA when she starts to doubt she can prove Bucky's innocence is just -- fuck. Okay. Yeah, I see why the fandom loves that particular moment. (I love Simon so much omfg).
I am honestly loving this case and I actually really like the way they've presented Uendo -- it's simplified a bit for the sake of the audience, but at the same time, switching DO be like that. And you can certainly be co-conscious and share memory.
Like.... that's legitimately how our System works -- there's usually 2-3 of us up front at any given time, with someone generally more forward, while the other(s) listens / watches. Sometimes others push to the front. And there are 4 of us who more or less have access to the continual life happenings even if we don't always recollect specific details (or what we were feeling) later.
Also Owen being a LITTLE makes so much damn sense? Fuck, idk man, I love it. I kinda adore them.
I really really really got weary when Uendo's diagnosis was revealed because, y'know, the whole oh God pls tell me you're not the murderer even if it was kinda looking like you were.
That fucking balloon girl did it, didn't she? Jesus fucking Christ. I love that, but I also hate that. Also it's so unfair they made this chick so goddamned pretty.
Also man can I also say just how like.... they legitimately refer to Owen as a child, and Kisegawa with Ms., and -- that's actually a nice little piece of the writing here. Like... is it absolutely perfect? No. It's not. But let me tell you -- as someone with this disorder? Writing it and showing it for an audience is hard.
That whole, "everyone is unique" thing applies here -- every System is different. They all develop ways of functioning in order to blend in and protect themselves. Uendo may not have the denial bit that comes with this disorder (do you know how many times I find myself asking if I'm sure I'm not faking this thing? do you??? because like, it's a "rare" disorder, right? and was my trauma REALLY bad enough for me to have alters???? etc) -- but considering the confident way he, Patches, and Kisegawa speak about their experience with the disorder, I would imagine they've been in therapy for it for a while, now.
But also -- the three of them not being aware of Owen? Or denying his existence, at least? Well, they were either protecting him because he's so young, or they legitimately did not know since apparently he may only come forward when the body is drunk.
idk I love that Uendo et al was not the killer. Like so much. Thank FUCK.
Also that was a really fun case even if it was like, not entirely relevant to the overall story happening here in SOJ. I definitely enjoyed it.
#ace attorney#spoilers#spirit of justice#uendo toneido#thoughts of a person with DID#idk I ain't mad at the representation even if I was gonna be pissed#if Uendo had ended up being the culprit#thank God they did not do that
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The mercs dating reader with noise sensitivity
I'm autistic with noise sensitivity. Most of my overstimulation comes from multiple people talking at once, yelling, fireworks, sirens, etc. I just wanted to write some of my favorite mercs reacting to reader who has noise sensitivity. Not all of these will be romantic because I don't feel that for some of them, but oh well. I'm writing this for myself anyway.
Content: negative stimming, more autistic medic. Scout is trying. Blood and gore warning for medics section. Sorry some parts are longer than others. Also I left out pyro and heavy, I'm sorry I just don't know how to write them.
Scout:
He's a loud guy. He's has little volume control. A very bousty fella. But that's until he met you. I'm not gonna lie to you and say he's quit being a routy guy, but he tries to. Oftentimes, he'll catch himself shouting or arguing with someone, but then he looks over to see you overwhelmed, squeezing your eyes shut, covering your ears, slimming, etc, and immediately tries to quiet down. He'll try to get close to you and ask if you're alright and apologize.
"Oh shit. Babes, are you alright? I got too loud again, didn't I? I'm sorry. Hold on." He'll give you a quick hug and kiss and then take the person he's arguing with to another room and try to "quietly" solve the situation. Aka cut out the yelling and skip to the fighting. You'll even hear him occasionally im the other room shouting, "I said, keep it down, chump!" He'll come back all bruised, and if you're still having trouble calming down, he'll take you somewhere more private and try to help you relax. Blankets, music, TV, etc. He's not great and volume control, but he's trying.
Medic:
He's one of the quieter mercs. Usually, writing or spending time in his lab fittling with whatever experiment he has. Aside from the occasional burst of God complexual claims or mad laughter or loud singing, he's pretty chill. But one thing that's incredibly grating, the sounds of his equipment. is easy to get overwhelmed by. So many drills and saws vurring. It's incredibly overwhelming and scary. You like to hang out in his lab alot, you two can talk while he works, and it's a great system. Especially, with how lonely he gets in the lab by himself. Your usually fine when he uses scopuples and other fairly silent tools, but when he pulls out the machine powered equipment, it's overwhelming. You can usually handle it through vigorous stimming.
One time, you two were talking, medic was busy with surgery, so he couldn't look at you too often. He pulled out the saw blade and began to wistfully cut through bone while continuing your conversion. You start stimming, trying to keep up with the conversation, but it's hard. Eventually, he turns his head to see your reaction to whatever he was talking about. And he sees you graiting your teeth, shaking your hands (or whatever you do) and asks, "Are you alright?" "Yeah I'm just a bit... overwhelmed." "Why?" "The saws. I don't like the sound." "Ohh. I see." He turns it off and abandons the body, walking up to you, covered in blood. "We certainly can't have that. Is there anything I can do to help?" "I'd like to drink some tea and watch (insert comfort show) if that's alright." "Of corse mein liebling." You'll both be half sitting, half laying down, and he'll do or get you whatever you need. "I'm sorry for asking so much, ludwig." You'd say after he's handed you your second cup of tea. "It's no problem, liebling. I get problems like that, too." You take the cup and he sits down next to you,"less so about volume and more about too much happening at once. Usually, when it's multiple people talking at once, reading and listening to any music with lyrics. Textures aren't any better, too." "Huh" you reply. "Thanks for telling me, I'll keep that mind."
Spy:
He's omw of the quietest of the mercs. Usually loud if he's trying to grab the attention of the rest of the team, but aside from that, he's quiet. It's his job, after all. Even in his stride, his breath, the sipping of his drinks are very soft. More normally than not, he's not the one inflicting the noise issues. Not to say it doesn't happen. Often, when he's scolding another merc. He'll lose his temper at Scout or soldier, and you happen to be walking into the room while it's happening.
"How many times do I have to tell you?? Grenades are NOT toys! You can't just toss them around as a prank!" His gaze quickly flashes over to you, trying to quickly cross through the room to get to where you need to, covering your ears. He face palms, dragging his fingers down his face and grumbles. Shit. He thinks. "Boys, I'll continue this conversation later. Don't be idiots." And quickly shoves past them. He doesn't rush to you. Quite the opposite. Slow strides. He tries to make it look like he casually bumped into you, but you both know that's false. Not that you mind. "Hello, y/n. Sorry about earlier." You shrig and give him a "it's alright." He knows you're fine now. The interaction wasn't very long, so you should be fine for the most part and are more than competent to deal with it yourself if there is still a problem. But he loves any excuse to pamper you. "That may be so, but I still owe you some form of apology." You chuckle, "Oh? And what may that be?" "Perhaps some... private time?" "Really? And in what way are you suggesting?" "Any way you'd like, ma colombe." He smiled back. God, he's to smoothe. Suddenly, an explosion is heard at the other end of the base, followed by scout and soldier laughing. You see, spy Rev up to scream, but he stops mid breath. Slowly letting out the air in his lungs as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "crétins" he whispers. He takes a moment to calm before speaking to you "let's go, shall we?" You both cuddle in his smoking lounge in front of the fire, sipping on your favorite drinks and peacefully talk about your days.
engineer:
he's one of the sweetest ones out there. Let me just tell you right now. whatever you are most comfortable with, he'll go all out keeping you alright. he always keeps his voice down around you, never raises his tone, he always senses when something is wrong immediately. one issue, though, is the sound of... engineering. normally able to handle smaller sounds like wrenches, but the fact is when he's welding or using other power tools, it gets overwhelming. he usually insists on you leaving before he starts up work, but once or twice, he forgot. lost in conversation with you while setting up shop absent mindedly. he didn't realize till he looked up and saw you fidgeting your fingers and clenching your jaw. he almost immediately turned off the tool and started apologizing. "I'm so sorry, pumpkin. how ya doin'?" You tell him you're fine. didn't last too long. it'll take a couple of minutes for your nerves to go down, but you're fine. Because he knows you can handle it on your own, he kisses you on the cheek and told you he'd be out as soon as he's done. if it was a bigger reaction or longer run time on the noise, he'd immediately pack up shop and ask if you want his assistance.
i feel like he's less pushy about taking care of you. of course he does but he also has a lot of faith in you taking care of yourself. i mean they all do its just. with dell its easier to see. he worries he's to much of a nag tbh but he cares about you deeply. if you ever want or need him for calming down he's immediately on it.
demo
he's a loud dude .probably one of the loudest in the group. but he manages to keep quiet around you mostly. it takes him quite a bit to getting used to volume control tbh. i imagine he's kinda similar to scout in this scenario. he's trying. he keeps forgetting but he's trying and he immediately apologizes every time. also similar to scout when he does remember and some ones being loud he's gonna beat their ass lmao. "oi, bloke! me partner don't do well with volume keep it down!" he declares while shouting. he remembers when other people are doing it but is completely unaware when he's loud. just have patience he'll get it eventually lmao
soldier
oh boy.
there's no denying he's the loudest of the group. he doesn't even know he's screaming most of the time, it's just become how he speaks, so when he starts dating someone who's practically allergic to loud noise, he sweats bullets in realization he immediately thinks "I'm gonna be a shit boyfriend." he takes a while to quiet down for sure. again, no grasp on volume control, but he feels so bad about it it.
he'll say the sweetest things to you while shouting and you're trying to listen and show appreciation but its volume it to grating. he sees how you respond he he just panics "IM SORRY CADET" and your forcing a smile and telling him its alright but he sees your still fidgiting and stimming and goes "IM STILL YELLING ARNT I?" you nod trying to keep calm. "IM SORRY" and then he panics and walks off. i feel like there was a moment after that he just tried to avoid you. he didnt like that feeling of being the cause of harm to the person he loved. it made you worry after a while. after days of him completly avoiding you you confront him. about why hes been acting so strange. he hands you a letter stating hes sorry. hes worried to talk to you cause he dosnt want to hurt you. There's gonna be a good bit in your relationship where he communicates to you strictly through pen and paper lmao
Sniper
You never have issues with him being loud. He always has his voice at a neutral tone, he's very patient and understanding when you get overstimulated. He's not the issue here. Bless him. It's the guns. Guns are kinda his whole thing. He knows not to use them around you, but there's been a few times you drove to the shooting range to drop off lunch cause he forgot to pack, and it was just incredibly jarring and overwhelming. When he eventually spotted you he came over as soon as he could and checked if you're alright.
"Thanks for coming over, love. Sorry about the noise, you alright?" You nod handing him the lunch. "I'm fine. Feeling a bit anxious and probably a little irritable but I'll recover enough soon." He fidgited with his hat before responding "d' ya want to hang out with me for a little bit? The scenery should help." "Yes, I'd like that."
#tf2#tf2 fics#tf2 concepts#scout x reader#spy x reader#engineer x reader#medic x reader#sniper x reader#demo x reader#autistic reader#sensory issues#soldier x reader
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hello! i'd love to hear your thoughts on hazbin hotel's writing :] i really like the show, but i'm not really sure if i think it's...good? if that makes sense. so i'd love a second opinion :O
oh my god thank you so much for sending this ask bc ive been thinking about this for sooooo long ive got a lot to say about this show. picture that scene in the first episode where charlie whips out her longass pile of drawings to explain the hotel. that's me rn i have many things good and bad to say about this show. first off im gonna keep it a buck fifty with you anyone genuinely saying this show is really bad needs to watch more shows. watch supernatural season 13 or something. this was not by any stretch of the imagination a bad show for me writing-wise and even the criticisms i have here are mostly nitpicks
i actually think they did a pretty good job given the constraints they had. 8 episodes with 25 minutes each is a ridiculously small amount of time. that's less than 4 hours total to tell this whole story and develop, what, 6 main characters? and introduce major antagonists and the minor antagonists for the next season. i don't know how much they had to cut but i'm willing to bet it was a substantial amount since the show in-universe takes place over the span of 6 months. like i know everyone says this about the show but i really do feel bad that they were given such a short amount of time because it's pretty clear to me that there's a lot of passion put behind this project
i've heard a lot of people say that they have issues with the pacing of the show and i kind of agree. i think the timeline of the plot is kind of weird with episode 1 taking place 6 months from the extermination and episode 2 taking place very soon after. if i remember correctly we don't know when episodes 3 and 4 take place but episodes 5, 6, and 7 all take place back to back probably because they didn't want to shove angel, husk, and sir pentious' major character development right at the end of the series as the plot came to its climax. i think i can understand that reasoning but it does make for a very odd structure and leave the story feeling rushed near the end. i don't know what could have fixed this because having vaggie and charlie visit heaven earlier would have meant that a lot of the show had a higher sense of tension and i think that would've been worse. idk. i understand the criticism and i agree with it i just don't know what could have fixed it
the songs are banger. obviously. that's what happens when you hire half of the living tombstone to write your songs theyre just going to be sick as hell. loser, baby was my favorite and the one from dad beat dad was a close second i liked it a lot. i also think they did a great job developing all of the characters and giving them really solid character arcs with a couple exceptions, mostly alastor, niffty, and vaggie. i'll touch on that in a second. to me angel dust is the emotional core of the show and i really like him and husk. theyre my favorites ill b so sad if they get wrenched apart next season
i have some thoughts on vaggie and this comes from a place of love because i think she's an example of a really great character concept with a not-so-great execution. here's what i think. the writers seem to have a tendency of only giving vaggie big character moments that are tied to her relationship with charlie. and it bugs me a little bit. im not saying that vaggie being charlie's girlfriend has to be a smaller part of her character but every time we get a moment with her like her song in episode 3 it's about how she wants to protect charlie. as much as i love 'out for love' in episode 7 it was kind of unnecessary because we already know how devoted vaggie is to charlie. that was never called into question. for her to go to heaven, knowing that they would recognize her there as a fallen angel, just because charlie wanted her to be there really shows how much she loves her. and i think that part of episode 7 could have been better devoted to exploring the reason why she put her faith in the hotel and what charlie was doing in the first place, because she wants to believe that she can find redemption for the crimes she committed as an exorcist. i don't think they talked enough about the idea that vaggie was cast out of heaven for showing mercy to a sinner. and how this shows the very black-and-white view of morality that heaven has. i think i would like vaggie as a character more if the show stopped trying to frame her belief in the hotel as loyalty to her girlfriend and instead talked about how she's trying to find redemption herself, not in trying to get into heaven but in atoning for the many sinners she killed during the exterminations. that's a really big part of her character that i think should be touched on more often
if you follow me you already know my nitpicks about alastor. theyre problems that will almost certainly be fixed in the next season and theyre incredibly minor, i just dont like characters who seem to always inexplicably one step ahead of everyone else and above all sense of consequence. and to me this is made worse by the fact that alastor appears so often in season 1 without having any character development right next to characters like husk and angel who are going through such horrible, horrible things in their lives. and i think the longer we get alastor as a mysterious 5d chessmaster type of character without knowing his true motivations the more annoying it gets. again, nitpicks that almost certainly won't be a problem next season given the way they're setting up his character. you might not have even considered this to be a problem and think that i'm just being a fucked up little whiny bitch. lmao. it's just a personal thing. niffty i think doesn't have to have character development, as it stands she's entertaining enough by herself and i'm fine with having her run around the hotel with no discernible motivations. she's just havin fun
i think the vees are some really strong love to hate them villains. val obviously is a despicable piece of shit and im looking forward to seeing him get what's coming to him. i have no complaints in regards to them i think their moments were tied into the series very well and theyre interesting antagonists already. it's gonna be great seeing them come more into the spotlight in season 2. i will say that i think some of the time dedicated to exploring their characters could have been put towards the actual main villains of this season, heaven and the rest of the angels, but whatever. as i said before i think a lot of the major plot exposition could have been spread out. but in general i think the vees are really interesting
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i won't do the dance (but we can dance together)
[Good Omens Season 2 Spoilers - 2,559k words - read on AO3]
“Oh, excuse me. Sorry, I must- Oh, please be careful, sir, I’ve kept this coat in pristine condition until now, I- Oh, my.” The angel sighed in defeat. Of course, no demon would ever care about how clean his suit have been for years, or would ever do the kindness of stepping aside so he could get around easier.
Aziraphale really couldn’t blame them. He too would be grumpy if he were to live under these situations. The smell was awful, in a way no human or divine language could describe. And it was hot, but not just “temperature” hot. More like the train on a hot day with no air conditioning or windows, during rush hour, full of constructor workers who haven’t showered in forever, millennia after millennia.
The first, and only, time he was here, his mind was somewhere else entirely. He was so focused on not ruining things, on following the plan, and not being discovered that everything else faded from existence. But now he was an outsider and incredibly lost, so everything was overwhelming.
For half a second, Aziraphale thought about taking a deep breath to calm himself down — a habit he had developed after so many years living within humans, even if oxygen was unnecessary for him — but was able to stop himself by the miracle act of “thinking things through”. He settled for only counting to 7 in his mind. He got this.
He walked through the crowded corridor for… he doesn’t know how long, honestly. Time in Hell is substantially different from time in Heaven or Earth. Felt like a lot, though. Too much.
But then, finally, he reached a more open (not less crowded) space, a bigger hall that led to multiple directions. “Oh, bugger. Maybe this is a terrible idea. He couldn’t be… He wouldn’t be-”
“Angel.”
Aziraphale shuddered. How wrong it was coming out of anyone’s but his mouth. He turned around. “Hello, yes?”
“You are an angel. You are not supposed to be here” The demon was a few inches shorter than Aziraphale, skin pale like an albino lizard.
Aziraphale smiled politely. “Yes, I’m highly aware of that.”
“How did you get here?”
“You see, it was actually quite easy, I always thought it would be harder. All I had to do was take the elevator down, and it led straight here. A huge security breach, if you ask me. For both our sides.”
“Right, yeah, sure. What do you want?”
“Oh, right!” Aziraphale shifted his weight from one foot to the other, “I-”
“He’s probably looking for his boyfriend.” A voice came from behind him. Aziraphale had to give his all to now roll his eyes to the back of his head as he turned once more to face another demon, one familiar this time.
“I- I wouldn’t put it like that. He’s not-”
“Heh, of course you wouldn’t. Neither would he, I believe.” Furfur grinned, the two tips of his tongue flaring out for a second. “Hello, Aziraphill.”
The angel’s jaw locked. He didn’t like the demon’s tone. “For the last time, it’s Azirap-”
“Don’t care. So, was I right?” Furfur rounded him with a mocking interest. “Are you here for you dear, well, ex?”
Aziraphale took a deep breath, too angry to even care about the foul odor that made his eyes sting. He had to, or all his angelicness would go down the drain as soon as he closed his fist. “Is Crowley here?”
“What if he is?”
“Is he, or not?” The angel’s tone came out harsh, and as he spoke, a tiny eye opened with an incandescent blue iris staring down the demon, right below his right eye. It blinked, and it was gone just as fast. But Furfur saw the rage it held.
“Y- Yes. He is.”
“Take me to him.”
The demon grimaced. “Follow me.”
As the demon turned away, Aziraphale deflated. So Crowley is here, after all. He wasn't sure how to feel about that.
For years, he had followed Crowley's steps from Heaven, looking after him the best way he could. And god, was it hard. Maybe the hardest thing he had done in ages. Because in the first few years they were apart, Crowley slept. He got his apartment back and as soon as it was all back into place, he got under the covers and slept.
It broke Aziraphale to see it happening. It broke him when he would check on him and he had tears accumulated at the corner of his eyes. But there was nothing he could do. Both have chosen their path, and Aziraphate wasn't going to back down on his decision. He couldn't, not when he knew what was at stake.
So he settled for this torturing "routine" for 3 years. He would do his work and then, once a month (or a week) (or day, depending on how anxious he was feeling), he would check on Crowley.
But then, one day, when he tuned in to check on Crowley, he was gone. He then tried the bookshop, then the park, then the Ritz, then TaddfieId, then everywhere they had the tiniest history together, then the stars. He even went as far as to check a few zoos for a particular black snake. But every time, everywhere, all he found was nothing.
After 4 years of fruitless searching he had to face his least favorite outcome (of course, his real least favorite was actually far too terrible to even think about and, therefore was completely ignored): Crowley was back in hell.
Well. Fine. Again, they both made their choice.
But then, a meeting with the archangels and the Metraton happened, and their plan was laid out, and it was terrible, and all his opinion and thoughts were dismissed as nothing, and then, finally, after 7 years, he understood. And God, how he hated himself. How he despised how stupid he had been. He had been played with beautifully, and everyone else had seen the strings but him.
"Supreme Archangel". Nothing supreme about it. He had less power than the queen of England.
So as soon as he left the meeting, he made a B-line to the elevator and pressed "Down" with a capital D.
As he followed Furfur, his mind raced with billions of scenarios, a few more likely than others. What would it be like, to see Crowley after all this time? Sure, this wasn't the longest period of time they had apart, but their separation was very… unique this time. What would Crowley do? Would he turn him away?
And what would he even say? Where would, could, he even start?
"Here we are," Furfur's voice brought him back to the present.
"Oh," The angel stopped almost too late, not bumping into the demon by an inch.
Aziraphale looked up. They were in front of an old large wooden door, with rusty iron patterns adorning it. It was antique and resembled the old doors they had in heaven before the place took a more clean design approach. It must have been beautiful, once. Maybe it was still beautiful even if it was almost falling apart, but Aziraphale didn't know if calling something beautiful in Hell even made sense.
"Worst of luck, Azripastel," Furfur grinned before opening the door.
Aziraphale rolled his eyes. "Okay, now you are doing it on-"
"Oh, what now, you blithering idiot?”
Oh, lord. His voice. Aziraphale didn't know what it felt like to be suffocating. To have your lungs prived from the oxygen it needs to service. So he also didn't know how it felt to finally be able to breathe again, how hopeful, desperate, and relieving that first intake of air actually is. But if he could guess, it must feel something like that.
Listening to Crowley's voice was like breathing again. But then, he looked ahead, and he was breathless again.
"Crowley?” He spoke tentatively, as if he wasn't close to discorporating. Because Crowley… God. Crowley.
He was… Was divine a word he could use? Was it allowed? No, right? Because he had refrained from even using "beautiful" to describe a door in hell, so certainly… But what else could he call him? What else would be even fitting for the scene he had before him? Of course, there were other words, but they were not words he used. He couldn't use them or else he would lose his mind and all sense of self.
Well, it didn’t matter. All he knew and cared for was that right there, in front of him, sitting shir- oh, god- shirtless and leg-spread on a throne, one leg over thrown over its arm, hiding absolutely nothing in those sinful (may She forgive me) leather pants, sipping mindlessly from a glass of red wine, was Crowley. Crowley, Duke of Hell. No sunglasses.
The demon smirked at him, and his eyes were cold. "Well, if it isn't the Ssssupreme Archangel!" Crowley hissed his title.
“Crowley,” Aziraphale spoke again, and like an asteroid trapped in the sun's gravity, he took a step further into the room without even realizing it.
“Stop,” Crowley spat at him like Aziraphale was an overexcited dog, ready to jump. And like an obedient dog, Aziraphale stopped. Crowley shifted, sitting up straighter, and as he did, the sound of the several chains and necklaces he wore tingled. For some reason, that made Aziraphale shiver.
Aziraphale had never, in the history of forever, seen Crowley hold himself like that. Not as an angel, when he was the most adorable creature She has ever made. Not as a demon, or as the snake of Eden. Not even when they faced Satan together. Because Crowley, no matter how powerful he was, he never wore it like a crown. But here… Now? Oh, here he understood why people sinned.
“Why are you even here?” Crowley turned up his nose.
“Oh, I’m-”
“Not you, you idiot. Him” Crowley signed with his head behind the angel. “This isn’t a fucking party. Fuck off, Furfur.”
When Aziraphale looked back to see the demon leave with several complaints on his tongue, he was able to finally take a look at the place. It was crowded with stuff, but not like Hell crowded. It was… Almost like Aziraphale crowded. There were books, and instruments, and plants, and notebooks, and furniture, and ammulates, and paintings, and all sorts of things. All in bad shape, of course, it was almost like the air in Hell consumed things, but… it was there nonetheless. The style. He couldn’t help but smile when he looked back at Crowley.
“Oh, you are sssso full of nerve, aren’t you?” Crowley showed his fangs.
“Sorry,” the angel grimaced. Aziraphale didn’t remember ever even seeing them. They made him look so… Pretty. “I just-”
“Stop, stop, stop. Sssstop.” Crowley shifted again, leaning forward on his elbows, resting them on his knees, the wine glass hanging loosely between his hands. The chains tingled again. “I don’t know why you’re here, but if the best apology ever invented by… I don’t know, someone, doesn’t come out of your mouth right now, you can take your fanssscy grey suit back to where it belongs and leave me alone for the rest of eternity.”
“Oh, Crowley.” Aziraphale stepped closer. At each step, Crowley’s eyes gave away a bit. One tiny sparkle, one at a time.
“I mean it.” Aziraphale was now within his reach. “And it’s not just a little dance! Because you can have the whole Royal Ballet dancing with you and that wouldn’t cut it.”
“I know, darling. I know.” Aziraphale was now so close that Crowley had to look up, but not for long.
Aziraphale was oddly proud for an angel, he would admit. But as he knelt before Crowley on that throne, he didn’t feel one ounce of pride. He knelt, one knee then the other, and sat on his heels. He gently took the glass of wine from Crowley’s hand and sat it aside, then took the demon’s hand in his.
He took his time feeling it this time. It was so fast, at the ball. But now he could feel it and see it properly. It was a beautiful hand. The black nail polish and the rings were a new addition, but it was slender, surprisingly smooth, and cold. So cold. He unconsciously tried to rub it a bit.
“Snake blood.” Crowley’s voice was low on his throat now. Quiet.
“Right, of course.” Aziraphale looked up and met his eyes.
It was like a different being completely from mere seconds ago. His eyes shone with the most pure tone of gold to exist in the universe. Hope suited him well. “Crowley, I am deeply sorry. I am sorry for the things I said. And for how I have said them. But I won’t do the dance, I’m afraid. Because I wasn’t wrong, but neither were you. But we weren’t right either. It’s a mess, really. But you were right about something. Heaven is not- Not what I thought it was. And they have something bad planned, and I- I need you.”
“So… That’s it? A couple of not-even-that-pretty words and you expect me to help you? After everything?”
“Yes.”
They stared at each other’s eyes for a couple of moments before Crowley sighed, taking his hands off Aziraphale’s. The angel didn’t understand how his hands felt colder at the lack of the touch. Crowley reached for the glass of wine, and got up, rounding Aziraphale, who followed him with his eyes from the floor, brows furrowed as he tried to understand if Crowley had or hadn’t forgiven him.
Crowley went to a shelf near the exit and grabbed something. The place was so messy Aziraphale took a while to see what it was, but when he did, he sighed in relief.
“You are unbelievable, you know that?” the demon said, opening his sunglasses temples with his chin.
“Y-Yes!” Aziraphale jumped to his feet. But before Crowley could put his glasses on, Aziraphale stopped him, holding his wrist back. “Wait.”
“What?”
“Thank you. And I- I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He stepped closer and put his hand on Crowley’s chest. He was warmer here.
Crowley’s pupil widened and he swallowed dry. Aziraphale couldn’t help but follow his Adam’s apple and wettening his lips. Crowley must have noticed because when he spoke, his voice had the tiniest glint of a smile behind it.
“Oh, I’ll hold you up to that promise, Angel.” Crowley smiled, really smiled, for the first time in seven years.
Crowley put on his sunglasses and snapped his fingers. The huge door stormed open, hitting the walls on the corridor, and nearly not killing Furfur, who was stubbornly waiting outside. “Furfur! My guy!”
“Me?” The demon glowed.
“Yeah, go tell Shax she can have her room back.”
“Wh-What?”
Crowley gulped down the wine, and threw it over to the side, near Furfur’s head. “I’m off this shit hole!” He turned around with an easy smile on his face. Oh, how smiling came easy when Aziraphale was near him. “You coming, Angel?”
He reached out his hand, and without a second thought, Aziraphale took it. “Of course.”
When their hands were securely interlaced, Crowley snapped his fingers and they were out of there. They had a world to save.
END?
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>> This short fic was inspired by Joops's Art.
#good omens season 2#good omens fanfic#fic by pidge it up#good omens#crowley as duke of hell is so hot#inspired by art#ineffable husbands#ineffable idiots#crowley is a simp for Aziraphale#aziraphale x crowley
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Anna Milton
I'm watching the Anna episode, and I've got so many thoughts for this one.
My first watch through, I struggled to like Anna after she remembered she was an angel. In part because she becomes a lot more stoic - she became who she used to be, and the human version of her seemed to just be...gone. I think Anna would have been way more interesting as a mix of human with a lifetime of angelic memory.
And she gets a little more like that while she's talking to Dean on that car trunk in the Yard. But there's still too little of that human she used to be left in her personality for me. It made that whole sex scene between her and Dean feel...empty? Anna had so little personality once she became an angel, and approached Dean with the same lack of personality, so it didn't feel...erm...passionate. Let's call it that. As someone who identifies as ACE and also thinks there is way too much sex-for-sex's-sake in our media/entertainment, it bothered me on my first watch through. It bothered me less with time, but it always seemed out of place.
(OMG, also, can we PLEASE talk about how she puts her hand over Cas's handprint? Like?!!? SHE WOULD KNOW WHAT THAT WAS. That made the whole thing seem very...hmm...like a pointed message to her former suboridnate 🤣)
((As does the kiss she gives Dean, which the show very purposefully cut to Cas's reaction for. Like. You don't cut to another guy's face mid-kiss for no reason.))
(((Personally, I think it was a way to start showing Castiel's...weakness for humanity. Not necessarily romantically, but for sure in curiosity. It fits too when later everyone shuts their eyes when Anna gets her grace back expect Cas. He's staring at her with such open curiosity and awe. I'm pretty sure it took way fewer episodes for me to fall in love with Cas, but this one cemented it)))
Anyhoo, back to Anna! I struggled with her more and more every episode she was in because she just went more and more stoic-angel. And what a bummer! She had soooo much potential to be a cool, involved character. I never understood why they didn't use her more.
Second thought - Part of me wants to have gone further into why Anna chose to fell, especially with the possible rising tension in the upper ranks of Heaven with the Apocalypse coming. It seemed like a perfect opportunity to lay groundwork for Heaven being the bad guy. Anna either found out more than she wanted to know or just got a sense Heaven wasn't what it was supposed to be. They show could have sprinkled a bit of that in and made Anna more of a key player in being on the humans' side when the time came.
Third part! Oh My God. Why was Dean sooo damn interested in her after he found out she was an angel. He was a bit flirty when she was human, but guys, it like...tripples once she reveals she's an angel. He does the whole half-smirk, green-doe-eyed smile around her allllll the time. Guys. Dean is so hot for angels, and the second one came along with them female looks, he was ON THAT 👀
Aaaaaangel kiiiiiiiiiiink. That's our boy!
Lastly, can we talk about Alistair knowing how to exorcise Cas? I don't fully know why that hit me in the good-storytelling bits, but oh boy did it. And I love that Dean saves him from it. You could argue it's kinda just nature for Dean in a fight, but that was Alistair he was taking on. The whole point of that battle was to let the angels and demons fight each other (and get out of the way), and he couldn't let Alistair "kill" Cas. I love how early on that friendship was being written. They could have had it be Sam or Dean or Anna who got Alistair off Cas, but nope! They picked Dean 😁
Anyhoo, that's my ramble for tonight! I'm supposed to be writing (I haven't written anything in two weeks 😭) but since I'm stuck on the damn Morton House (seriously - have I ever told you guys I don't like writing Sam when he's away from Dean? THEY are supposed to be the co-dependent ones, dammit 🙄) I thought hey, I'll post here! At least I'm keeping those writing/Supernatural/fangirl vibes flowing.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
So! Help me get some planning gears in motion. What do you all want to see out of Anna in TRSF?
I have one idea at the moment, but I don't know if I'll go that way, as it conveniently takes Anna out of the story. And I juuust ranted about how much I did not like the show for doing that🤦♀️ She'd get to live happily as a human at least! But the more I think about it, the more I know she has potential as a character.
I also know that the Muse and I have a habit of shying away from the women on the show Dean gets busy with. A small part of me thinks "NO, he's for Cas, back off ladies!", but that's me fangirling and I know that. A bigger part of me doesn't want to write him getting intimate with other characters (although for some reason, Cassie and Lisa don't trigger this at all - just Bela and Anna). The largest part yet is actually just angry and holding a grudge against the show writers for the amount of queer-baiting we got followed by under-developed and sometimes forced-on-us relationships, particularly with Dean.
Hmm, that's probably why Cassie and Lisa don't trigger this issue. Those relationships well developed and had purpose/fullfillment in them. Plus, the characters were well written and had depth! But Anna's relationship with Dean felt especially forced. And so my default planning definitely went towards avoiding her.
Heeey, look at me writing out my thought process until I reached an understanding! Now I know why I want to avoid Anna, which means it's time to get the Muse working on the exact opposite 🤣
And that ramble got away from me. Go back to telling me what you all want to see from an Anna story arc in TRSF! Please and Thank you in Advance for all ideas and inspiration! 😁
#supernatural#8.years.of.silence#fanfiction#the road so far (this time around)#dean winchester#castiel#anna milton#s4e10#spn
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hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii so I absolutely love your fic on ao3 (so excited for part 2) and I wanted to ask what your opinions on the finale were! I personally think that the rat grinders were deeply robbed and that it was honestly such a unkind and mean way to end that season. like was the overarching theme not redemption and that unrestrained violence isn't the answer? anyway ye would love to hear your thoughts on it
(sorry if you've already made posts about it also, feel free to ignore this if so)
ahhh!!! oh man i have SO many thoughts on it, and i’ve kind of tried to keep them to dms and stuff but whoo boy. whoooo boy!!!
this got SO much longer than i expected so sorry in advance
i have sort of hit the point of reflection where i’m just sad about it now. sophomore year was SUCH a lovely piece of art, and the choices and lessons made and gained were something that resonated so deeply. i’ll start by saying that yeah, it’s fairly obvious the second half of the season was rushed through production, and specifically after “baron’s game” (which i expected to love but i can get into on a different post) the tone completely shifted.
the point i’ve finally come to is that brennan had a LOT of ideas for this season, but ultimately it went the way it did because he wasn’t dming the season for the fans. he was doing it for his friends, and they all had fun, and if the topics had been changed or certain plot points had been altered or different it wouldn’t have seemed so flippant and disappointing when the overarching themes got missed. from a meta standpoint (and also taking into account the interview he did that came out within the past few days discussing the season) it was never supposed to be that serious, so egg on our faces for reading into things that weren’t supposed to be there.
the season specifically suffered because it had so much stuffed into it, in my opinion? plots and threads were dropped early on in favor of following the bits—and for a dnd show run by comedians, i’m sure it was really fun for everyone involved! but i could tell after a certain point that discussions were overloading and way more stuff was getting missed than being followed up on, so i think brennan got caught up in trying to tie the story up neatly for his friends, and i think some of the plot may have changed from what it was first envisioned to be (though that may just be me being waaaaay too hopeful)
it is, however, WHOLLY disappointing to me that the bad kids were so rewarded for being literal bullies all season except to each other. it was in the name of bits, sure, but god, i would have loved for the solution to have been for them to reach out to the rat grinders in that final fight with something—a dispel magic maybe, or a really strong persuasion check, to prove that rage isn’t always the fucking answer, especially when faced with something like this. but that was never how it was going to go and i’m less mad now than just straight up sad about it. the rat grinders were just npcs made to be annoyances and obstacles and threads to follow, and we definitely as a collective tried to have more faith in the story. it’s just…i mean, it’s a dnd game. he’s running it for his friends, he’s lucky to get paid for it, it wasn’t about us reading the whole narrative like a book.
if the whole season had been scripted and unrushed—if it had been an actual series, for example—i think we would have gotten a lovely ending that satisfied almost everyone. but we got the fun ending for the players and at least half the fandom had an amazing time (maybe more—i definitely am at fault for only really following the rat grinder fans, lbr, but i don’t feel like having to curb my feelings about them every time i see a new post about how they deserved it).
i think for me, the ending was kind of rushed and filled with cheap cop outs, but i don’t think it was meant to be any more than that. it was supposed to be fun for the players, and it was, and that’s what they were happy with. i’ve really had to think about it a LOT this week though
(side note: as i’ve been working on part 2 and the prequel for it, i’m having to take the canon as milestones but not necessarily as fact, because there was so much unexplored there that i need to make sense when i’m writing it, but i fully disagree with just completely dismissing the implications. kipperlilly’s whole arc and her choosing this path wasn’t something i predicted, but it doesn’t necessarily go against what i wrote—it’s just that now, with context and reflection, i’m really having to sit down and explore her not as a many faceted character but instead as something that can still appear one dimensional. i’m not going to completely ignore the nuances, but i’m having a difficult time writing it, knowing now where the story is going to end up.)
(and fun fact, if you’ve read this far—it’s going to end up three parts instead of two, so publishing may be pushed off a bit longer than i wanted for the sole fact of wanting to put out parts 2&3 out at the same time. the prequel i’m gonna put on the back burner for a bit though :( so if you think part 2 is going to be good, i can’t wait for the reaction to part 3, if it goes the way i want!!!)
#the box writes#d20 fhjy spoilers#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG#i hope this makes sense#it got a bit rambley i think but i don’t wanna sit on this ask because otherwise it’ll triple in length LOL#inbox
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Forged in Love
Hephaestus x Aphrodite!reader
Page break credits @firefly-graphics
Master list
Merry Christmas!
Part 4
taglist: @streets-in-paradise @floraroselaughter
taglist open :)
You and Athena dispersed with everyone back to the main decorated room.“Okay, what’s up?” Athena asked you.
“What do you mean?” You responded.
“I saw you looking at Hephaestus”
“I looked at him like everyone did when he walked up, what is your point?”
“Oh please, I have known you too long for that. That wasn’t a ‘I’m a gossip whore, what more drama can this guy bring?’ that was a ‘I am interested in this guy’ look”. Your cheeks grew red.
“No it wasn’t, I don’t know him and I barely saw him, he covered himself up so even if I wanted to see him, not that I do, it wouldn’t matter anyway because he left.” You responded defensively.
“He left the room, but not the party.” You could tell she was trying to bait you and you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.
“Oh, I didn’t even notice.” You tried to sound casual even though it was the truth.
“I have met him, you know.” She told you. This got your attention.
“What? How have you never told me?”
“I didn’t say anything because it wasn’t relevant and you are always telling me how much you don’t like to gossip.” She gave you a pointed look. You rolled your eyes because she was right.
“Okay, but at least tell me why the rumors depict him as a gruesome figure, when I couldn’t see any. I am no trying to gossip, just set the record straight.” You took a sip from your glass. She gave you a look that said, I don’t believe you for a second.
“He doesn’t meet the Olympic standard of beauty and if you want to know why, you will have to see for yourself.”
“I only would care out of professional curiosity.” You told her.
“Sure.” She took a sip and looked around. “Oh, I need to say hello to Hecate, so while I do that you go find your mystery man.”
“He is not my mystery man, ‘Thena. And even so, he isn’t here.”
“Sure he is, he is right out there on the balcony.” You followed where she motioned and sure enough, there he was, a cloaked figure that you could barely make out.
“How did you even see him? I barely see him and I am looking for him.” You looked at her amazed.
“I see things many don’t.” She responded. And that was the truth, which made sense given she was the goddess of strategic warfare and wisdom. “Now, I must go save Hecate from Apollo, she is much too nice to save herself.” With that she grabbed your glass from your hands and nudged you towards the balcony.
You walked slowly, trying to think of something to say. Usually you didn’t have to start conversations as gods tripped over themselves to win your attention but you knew he was no ordinary god.
“Well, here goes nothing” You thought to yourself, and stepped into the night air.
The figure didn't move so you cleared your throat. He turned slightly, acknowledging your presence.
“Not one for parties?” You asked as lightly as you could. You cringed thinking duh, he never comes to any. You stayed slightly behind him, and far enough way to seem like less of a threat.
“No.” He finally responded. The voice was deep, gruff, and sexier than you expected.
“Honestly, me either.” You told him honestly.
He half turned, and you saw his hair peek out of his hood. You wanted to look but did your best to not stare so you looked out at the beautiful night sky. Nyx really outdid herself, even for a party.
He breathed a short laugh. “I seriously doubt that.”
“Why do you doubt it?” You half turned to him.
“Because you are the goddess of love and beauty, isn’t your whole thing being admired?” It was the most he had said to you yet. But it wasn’t accusatory, merely an observation
“Maybe once upon a time, eons ago. But there is more to me than meets the eye, and I think we should judge others based on their actions and personalities, and not based on rumors or looks.” You now looked at him pointedly. He faced you but you couldn’t see his face given the night and he was in a shadow so any light coming from inside did not shine on him.
“If only everyone thought that.” You weren’t sure if he meant that for you or not so you changed the subject.
“Sounds like you know who I am then.” You continued.
“Who doesn’t? Just because I don’t know everyone in that room doesn’t mean I don’t know of them.” He placed his hand in view on the ledge.
“I suppose that is fair. I guess we are on the same page, then. I only know rumors of you, and you only know the same of me.” You took the slightest step closer. He didn’t miss it and stiffened but didn’t move.
“I suppose. Although my rumors are worse.”
“I don’t know, you just told me you thought I was self obsessed, selfish, and shallow.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you thought it.”
“True.” You laughed and the tension eased slightly.
“I appreciate your honesty. It is hard to come by.”
“Lying isn’t productive or helpful.”
“I agree.” You told him. He sighed.
“Am I bothering you?” A pause.
“No.”
“Then I am flattered. Again, since what I know of you is speculation, I would think that I am one of the few who at the least, you don’t hate.”
“What makes you think I don’t hate you?” You detected humor in his deep voice.
“Are you making jokes now?”
“I suppose I am.”
“Then I am even more flattered. But what else would you expect from a shallow goddess?” You said with humor.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” You asked curiously.
“For taking a few moments without trying to discover my secrets. By now someone would have mentioned my appearance.” You could hear the hurt and vulnerability in his voice.
“I will be honest with you Hephaestus,” You began softly. “I am curious about the rumors and your cloak only adds to your mystery, but looks aren’t everything.” He couldn’t see your face, but you hoped he heard the smile in your voice.
“Hmm, of all the gods, it is not from your lips I would have expected to hear the statement.”
“I wonder who you would expect to hear it from?” You gently probed.
“Athena. Or Artemis, one of the abstinent gods.” He responded quickly.
“Athena is my closest friend.” You offered, “She is very wise, but that is unsurprising.”
“She is also kind when she wants to be. She talks about you.” He offered.
“Oh really? No wonder you had the idea of me you did.” You nervously chuckled.
“On the contrary, she had nothing but kind words for her friend. She thinks highly of you and she is wise, so there might be something to it.” You swore you saw a smile.
“I have to say, if I didn’t know better I would think you were smitten with her.” You teased. This was the wrong thing to say you quickly discovered. He tensed and took a step further into the shadows.
“No. She is nothing more than someone I have talked to on no more than a few occasions. I don’t bother with those kinds of feelings.”
“I can’t help but wonder why you wouldn’t consider her a friend if you have talked on more than one occasion. Especially since you both have decided romance is a waste of time.” You wanted to be kind, but the way he said the comment irked you.
“Not to offend the goddess of romance, but yes, it is a waste of time.” He said sarcastically. He clearly could care less if he offended you. This gave you the courage to say,
“I’ll have you know that she doesn’t think it is waste, but something unimportant to herself. She has never once made me feel that my purpose is unimportant. In fact, she can see the beauty in many things including love, and since she is wise maybe there is something to that opinion, as you say.” You let out a sharp breath.
Calmly he stated, “She is wise, but in my experience loving someone never ends well.” You had heard some of his history so you wanted to be careful.
“No, it doesn’t always end well, but does that mean it wasn’t worth it?” You could tell he was thinking.
“In my experience, yes, it is better to not get hurt.”
“Being alone can also hurt, so is there really winning that?” You quietly asked.
“It hurts less.” He stated.
“I am sorry. No one deserves to feel alone. Even if they are alone.”
“You are not at all what I expected.” You could tell he was looking at you and you badly wanted to see his face.
“And neither are you. But you have an unfair advantage.”
“And what advantage is that?” He asked unbelievingly.
“You get to see my face, but I do not get to see yours.” You tried to sound more bold than you felt. He seemed to bristle.
“And you never will.” He said darkly.
“Why not?” You wouldn’t back down now.
“Not all rumors are false.” He stated.
“Not all rumors are true.” You countered. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.
“This one is true.”
“Which one is true?” You wanted him to be clear.
“The one where I am a hideous beast.” He said it in such a way that made you think he had heard it many times from others and himself. And it broke your heart.
“Do I get to decide for myself if that is true, or do I just have to believe the rumor?” You asked softly, moving towards him slightly. He didn’t move away and you considered that a small win.
“You really want to see?” He asked softly.
“I do.” You answered kindly.
“I guess it wouldn’t change anything if you were as repulsed as everyone else.” He said so in such a vulnerable brokenness you wanted to cry for him. You didn’t say anything, just let him continue to make his decision. After a pause,
“Hephaestus, you have a choice here. I won’t pressure you, but know I do want to see you, not for fuel to gossip about, but because I am genuinely curious about you now. But you have no reason to trust me and I understand that so if you want me to walk away, I will.” He took a deep breath and stepped close to you out of the shadows. He slowly pulled his hood back and you saw his face for the first time and your breath hitched. Not because he repulsed you but the opposite. He was beautiful. Your first glimpse of him earlier was correct. He had a chiseled jaw, intense stare, hardened features, and his eyes seemed like they bore into your soul. The only difference was that he had stubble on his face, like he didn’t care how he appeared, except it only added to his appeal. Your mouth opened slightly.
“I told you.” He muttered. Before he could back away you took a step closer.
“No, not at all. The opposite. I am trying to understand why you hide your face at all. I see no imperfections.”
“You flatter.”
“I don’t flatter, I am to be flattered, remember?” Any humor vanished quickly given the moment. And how close he was, yet he moved impossibly closer. He was so close you could feel his breath. He pulled some of his hair away to show a scar above his eye. You couldn’t help but reach up and touch it. This caused him to close his eyes.
“This is a scar, not a grotesque imperfection. This is not something to cause such a horrid rumor.” You said so softly you didn’t know if you said it out loud or not. You must have because he opened his eyes and continued his intense stare. You weren’t sure if he knew how to do anything less intense. He reached down to put his hand on your cheek causing your eyes to flutter, but you kept eye contact. He had a way about him that you couldn’t look away, not because it was like a train wreck, but because he commanded that respect. You didn’t think he even knew it.
“Maybe, but you missed the most obvious part.” You frowned, not understanding. He backed away and you missed his warmth. He then showed you his arm. Or rather, where an arm would be. In its place was a metallic arm that radiated power, and it ended at his shoulder. You stared in awe.
“Did you make it?” You asked.
“Yes.”
“It’s beautiful. The craftsmanship is divine.”
“Glad you like it,” He said, a little confused and amused.
“Someday you will have to tell me the story.” You didn’t push for it now, knowing this had to be more than he was ready for, but thankful he complied with your probing.
“Hmm someday.” He said distractedly, still gazing.
You slowly reached for him.
“Can you feel this?” You questioned, lightly putting your hand on his ‘arm’.
“Yes.” He closed his eyes. His arm was cool, as metal would be on a cold night but it didn’t bother you.
“Fascinating. You truly are talented to be able to create such a masterpiece.”
“You don’t have to say things you think I want to hear.” His eyes were once again peering into your soul.
“I thought we were always being honest?” You countered. “I know what beauty is, remember.”
He smirked.
“I suppose you would.” You smiled at him but shivered, as the air was getting much cooler. You took your hand away and wrapped it around yourself, frustrated for the lack of contact with this mysterious man.
“You’re cold.” It was a statement, and he took his cloak off and wrapped it around you. It was warm, and smelled like fire metal, and something so manly, so lovely, so divine; so like him. You liked it.
“Thank you.” You said sincerely. “You must spend a lot of time in your forges, your cloak smells of fire and metal.” You smiled jovially. His smile lessened.
“I am sorry, I wasn't thinking.” He made a move to take it but you sheltered it from his grasp.
“It was not an insult, and you are not taking away my warmth.” He chuckled,
“I am sorry my lady, I meant no harm.”
“Good, otherwise I would have to leave for such insolence” You mocked, throwing your nose in the air.
“My apologies, please don’t leave.” And you knew he meant it.
“Why would I, when I am sincerely enjoying getting to know you?” You answered seriously.
He made a move to put his arm on yours but stopped.
“Why do you hesitate?” You asked.
“My presence, my touch, is not usually wanted, I am not used to such warmth.”
“Well…get used to it.” You answered by looking him straight on. He smiled for real, and you could tell this genuinely meant something to him.
“Aphrodite, there you are!” Zeus interrupted. “I see you have met Hephaestus, He doesn’t like these things but I made him promise to stay for awhile, I am glad you trapped him into staying haha!” he clearly was enjoying the ambrosia a bit too much.
“Yes, my lord, I have kept him here longer than I am sure he wanted to stay.” You said mostly looking at Hephaestus. He just kept looking at you, no expression to be found so you didn’t know what he was feeling.
“Well, come join the party! Have you said hello to Ares?” He wiggled his eyebrows and laughed at what he thought was clever. Ever full of tact.
“I will, my lord, in a moment.”
“No now, we must enjoy the evening otherwise Demeter might not like it.” He said half bitterly. You knew he wanted everyone to enjoy the night that he put on to snub her, and you just weren’t in the mood but meekly nodded. He nodded satisfactorily, and walked back inside.
“I guess I have to go.” You told Hephaestus.
“So it seems.” His voice never revealed how he felt and you wished you could read him better.
“I suppose I will see you at the next gathering?” You asked more hopeful than you meant to betray.
“I suppose you will.” He said.
“Until the next time then” You said, turning to go inside.
He grabbed your hand and kissed it, causing your stomach to flip. You didn’t trust your voice to respond to such tenderness ironically, but halfway back towards the room you thought to say,
“You lied, by the way.”
“I did?” He questioned.
“You said this rumor was true. It is not” You smiled and turned to go back inside. You missed the heartfelt smile he wouldn’t be dropping any time soon.
#aphrodite x hephaestus#Hephaestus!Bucky#hephaestus x aphrodite!reader#Hephaestus#hephaestus greek god#aphrodite!reader#Aphrodite#Greek#Greek Mythology#greek gods#greek fic#Forged in Love
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This is seriously the coolest blog idea EVER and I cannot wait for more info oh my god.
As for questions, what was this nerd's first dig?
"Nerd!? I resemble that remark!"
...
"As for my first dig...well...allow me to be a little sentimental: Jamestowne. I may be young by Nation standards, but my memory of that early place is fuzzy. And I think it was first because I was that little, and second, Arthur ferried me back and forth between my land and England a few times. I ain't entirely sure. Jamestowne also really struggled for years in the beginning. I think Lord Father kept me under wing when he could, though I know he had his own issues in the 17th century!
"I have-I have vague memories of pain and hunger from the Starving Time between 1609 and 1610, I think...or maybe it was a somewhat worried Arthur watching over me during then. The early Fort period really eludes me. That's why I went. Of course, I remember later things from Jamestowne by feeling such as Bacon's Rebellion in 1676. The burning of what was then still technically a capital stung like a bitch. And I remember hearing about the abandonment of the city for Williamsburg - or Middle Plantation, then - after Jamestown once again faced trial by fire in 1698. Word to the wise, y'all: Apparently Virginians attract fire! Williamsburg has burned a few times through my history, too.
"So that's all a really long-winded way to say I assumed a mild-mannered alter ego and worked for a short time at the Historic Jamestowne site. Can you believe there were possibly as many as six churches through Jamestowne's occupation? Six? I don't even remember half of them, Good Lord! And doing a dig there cleared up a few memories, too. We screened a fragmentary Robert Cotton pipe from one of the units and I felt like I had a brain blast. I remembered Arthur owning just one of Cotton's pipes, but it was the only pipe he dared to own that was made from Virginian clay. The rest of his I distinctly remember being from white English clay. Nothing less for Sir Arthur Kirkland if you can believe it."
...
"I didn't get to volunteer there too long, since of course, my government owns my ass half the time, but I got sentimental real quick. I still follow their archaeological news when I can! Just this summer, their field school uncovered a Fort-era ditch north of the Civil War earthworks from Fort Pocahontas, on-site at Jamestown. And reading their Dig Update, it was weirdly familiar! Good people there doing work. Very awesome people! And Jamestown is damn close to the Colonial Williamsburg museum and archaeological site, as well as maybe half an hour's drive from Yorktown, and then so much more. I don't visit there but damn if I don't sometimes forget how much happened in Virginia.
"Also sheesh, once again I've rambled! Sorry about that, dude. I promise there will be NORMAL UPDATES soon. I'm hoping to do a human anatomy lesson dudes! And not what you guys are thinking, you're nasty. It'll be me, Mr. Jones, here to teach about bones!"
#ask archaeology boy#archaeology f jones#hetalia#hetalia ask blog#aph america#hws america#alfred f jones
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Hello and happy STS! :D This would be especially hilarious for The Astral Chronicles, but feel free to choose which WIP you inflict this question onto. ;)
If your main characters were sucked into our world, The Devil Is a Part-Timer-style (i.e., dropped into our world without the resources/status they had in theirs, transformed into basically human with no powers, and the only thing they've got are the clothes on their back and their memories), how well would they fare? What would they do to survive, who's failing at adapting and how, and most importantly, who is working at McDonald's?
Oh my god this question is great
The funny thing about this for Astral is that I actually have a half-canon storyline where this actually happens. And considering Aiden is from our world, the answer ends up being "find Aiden and enlist his help in getting back to Astral"
If they're tossed into our world with no way of getting back tho, hmm... Rose would be doing her best to adapt, but also be having several breakdowns of "oh god I left my brother behind D:". Jared would absolutely get fired from most minimum wage jobs because he has a problem with authority, but he also has the energy of "will scavenge garbage cans if that's what it takes."
Will and Finn would be the ones to end up working at a McDonald's, as an "ok, this is what we have to do to survive I guess." There would definitely be a lot of I'm so done with this shit looks happening between them though. Customer service yo *jazz hands*
I also thought of Space Pirates for this question, because there's a lot more differences between that world and ours and it's very entertaining, so here goes:
Reizora, Artemis, and Deva adapt the best. Reizora spends the first hour or so straight up crying because Artemis has her body back, then she kicks Artemis onto bed rest and starts figuring out how the hell to make sure she and her crew survive this new world.
The answer is basically the same way they survived their world: Robin-Hood-type piracy XD They'd end up with a reputation for fucking with corporations and helping out the local community of wherever they end up.
Artemis would accept the bed rest mandate for maybe a week before she gets tired of Reizora's overprotectiveness and insists on joining the shenanigans. There are things she misses about her old world, but she can't deny she likes having a body again and seeing that associated guilt lifted from Reizora.
Syl (the Medic, alien with many tentacles) and the Engineer (unnamed so far, round and fluffy with many arms) are both annoyed with their lack of appendages. The Engineer will use her mouth and feet to hold things instead.
Aeryz has the hardest time adapting. She has a hard time adjusting to the fact she can't shapeshift anymore, she hates not being amongst the stars, and depending on where they all end up, she might not even be able to see them. She really just wants to go home :(
As for the Imperial kids, I think it would be really funny for Caelan and Rossano to be working at McDonald's in this scenario. I just have this image of Rossano as a wannabe influencer who's always like "I'm gonna quit the second I get enough followers, just you wait." Meanwhile Caelan is just like "ya know what? This is 10 million times less stressful than the rest of my life has been. I'm content staying here forever."
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The Capstone of Star Trek
(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com, Steve's Tumblr, and Pillowfort. Find out more at my newsletter, and all my social media at my linktr.ee)
I haven’t been interested in anything Star Trek in years. I mean, we’re kinda Voyager here. Yes I’ve heard great things about Discovery, I can appreciate the ideas behind Strange New Worlds retro-forward work. It’s just that I’m tired of Star Trek despite the fact that like many a geek, it was formative in my life.
But now Trek seems over-saturated and overdone. I mean it’s not Star Wars level and definitely not Marvel, but you know, haven’t we kind have done all of this? Do we have to keep rehashing things? What the hell is up with the various Spock plots and time travel? Can’t we, I dunno, move on for awhile?
So you’d think I’d be incredibility indifferent to the animated Trek dramedy, Lower Decks. I mean I even tried to get into it twice, and though I appreciated it, the show just didn’t do it for me. Well, didn’t do anything until a friend got into it, and I gave it one more spin.
Then I was hooked. On a Star Trek show.
If you’re not familiar with Lower Decks – and maybe you are, it’s fine – it’s an animated half hour show set in “recent” Star Trek continuity, the 24th century of the imagined future. The show doesn’t involve glamorous front-line flagships, but the Cerritos, a class of starship used for support, transport, “second contact” and less spectacular activities. The story also focuses on four friends who are “Lower Deckers,” relatively new spacefarers of low rank stuck with uninteresting and menial tasks, even if those drag them into adventures.
It’s Star Trek from the bottom up, but it doesn’t stop there.
The show is steeped in Trek lore, sometimes carrying concepts and even entire past episodes to their logical-if-ridiculous conclusions. People are used to strange energies evolving others into insane gods or temporarily switching bodies. First contact with aliens has to be followed up by someone doing the real work of shuffling around annoying diplomats and hooking planets up to communications network. For that matter, what do you do with all those monomaniacal computers endlessly plaguing alien civilizations – oh and has anyone checked up on those societies lately?
It’s every Trek trope and plenty of obscure lore falling on capable-if-neurotic shoulders of the Lower Deckers and the Cerritos crew. In many ways it’s akin to the Venture Brothers, which seemed to be a parody of cartoons, but was more of a heartfelt homage. Lower Decks just operates with a more defined property, the entire Star Trek janky extended universe.
It’s probably the most Star Trek of any Star Trek if you get my drift. I enjoy it because it’s not just another Star Trek show but an extrapolation by some talented writers.. The decades of continuity sort of roll downhill to the back-of-the-line Cerritos and the Lower Deckers.
It’s a kind of capstone for Star Trek, summing so much if it up in a way both funny and sometimes touching.
However, when it is done, I also can’t see Star Trek interesting me again. Lower Decks really does feel like a capstone, that there’s nothing more to do beyond this. Maybe that’s why the fact there’s even a Lower Decks RPG resonated with me – it feels like Trek has been done so often it’s best in everyone’s hands.
Thus I approach Lower Decks with a kind of bitersweet sadness. I’ve got the same Trek rush I got with TOS and Net Gen – but also it’s the end of that as well. I also know people will try to keep Trek going as its an institution – I just won’t be interested.
But I’m glad to have Lower Decks as a way to rediscover and close out a love of Star Trek.
Steven Savage
www.StevenSavage.com
www.InformoTron.com
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