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taexoxosgf · 5 months

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DO IT AGAIN

PAIRING brother’s best friend!park jisung x fem!reader

WORDS 3.7k

SYNOPSIS your brother’s best friend can never get you alone. that’s why he won’t miss an opportunity— even if your brother’s on the other side of the walls.

WARNINGS reader is tyong’s sister, jealousy, vaginal fingering, unprotected sex, creampie

NOTES this smut is actually from a super long fic i posted on my old account! i’m not sure if i’m gonna post the whole thing because i’m cringing rereading it lol

“So, how’s your big bro’s parties? It’s better than frat parties huh?” Taeyong dangles the red cup charged with alcohol in front of your face just for you to swat away in annoyance. “No musty bathrooms and paint peeling off the walls! Woooooooo!”

You’re going to have to have a jolly time cleaning his vomit in the morning. “Stop drinking you little shit. I’m not gonna take care of you tomorrow, just so you know.”

He does a little dance that has you suppressing a laugh, “The night is still young! Loosen up a little! Won’t stop until you’re having as much fun as me!” Your brother is so out of it, that he bumps into a million corners of the home and an attendee urges him to the couch.

“Actually… I’m not feeling so good,” he shushes the person helping before running out of the main room.

“Oh my god,” you pinch the sides of your nose bridge, unable to understand how Taeyong’s motto is always all or nothing.

You're nothing near Taeyong's level of intoxication, and whether it's the devil on your shoulder or the drink, you want Jisung. Excruciatingly so. Whoever claimed that drinking made you act like a bitch in heat wasn't kidding. It's more than true now that you know he's nearby– wanting to look for Jisung because if he wasn't going to make a move tonight, you would.

“Y/n?” a familiar voice calls you, prompting you to turn around.

“Hyuck? Oh my god! How are you?” you’re already bringing your arms out for a hug and he’s quick to immediately accept.

You both went to high school together before he left for university thousands of miles away. He still texts you now and then, but due to the time difference, you never had the opportunity to properly catch up.

“Not doing too bad. It’s so good to finally talk face-to-face babe, holy shit,” he chuckles.

“How’s the East Coast? Did you find a girlfriend at Columbia yet?”

“Nah, you know me. Girls there are way too preppy for me. Plus, I can’t stand another minute of freshmen thinking they’re living through Gossip Girl,” he pretends to gag, swaying his body from side to side.

“Hey! Don’t hate. That show was ahead of its time,” you comment, brows raised.

“It IS! But I’m talking about the people acting as if they were a part of the show themselves. Like come on, you were probably five when it came out!” he exclaims.

"Fair enough," you nod. "You know who you should go for?" an idea flashes across your mind as you speak.

“Who?” he shifts closer, genuinely curious.

You wave towards you as another way of telling him to step even closer and cup your hand behind his ear before whispering, “Yuna.”

“What?! There’s no way!” he steps away, not expecting you would say your best friend’s name.

“Come on! You guys would look so hot together! What’s so ‘no way’ about that idea?”

Your old friend momentarily pauses, like he didn’t know what kind of question you asked. “She’d never go for me.”

“What? She used to have a crush on you! You were always around different girls so she never made a move,” you affirm. “You know how she was in high school,” you remind him of the girl who was once afraid to step out of her comfort zone.

“Are you serious? There’s no way that’s true! You’re straight up lying to my face right now,” he groans, looking as if he was going through a mental crisis due to the news.

“I swear on my Loubitons that it’s true! Just talk to her,” you point to the back door. “She’s in the backyard. I’m sure she would love to catch up.”

He brings a hand to his chin, soothingly rubbing with his index, “You do love those shoes…”

“More than myself, so come on! The times ticking!” you press him further, and his eyes light up when he realizes the words you’re feeding him might actually be true.

“You know what, fuck it.”

“That’s what I like to hear! Acting like a true alpha male!” you jump up and down, probably with more excitement than he has.

He chuckles at your words, “Okay. Okay. Let’s hang out and catch up this week. Let me know when you’re free.”

“Okay now go!” you try not to hold him back longer than he needs to be.

“I”m go-”

Before you can properly bid goodbye, you feel a hand wrap around your wrist, pulling you away towards the narrow hallway of the home.

You see it’s Jisung after checking, and he’s definitely on a mission by the way he doesn’t utter a word. Instead, he drags you through the hallway and finally halts his steps at the sign of your bedroom door.

“Jisung, what are you doing?”

He doesn’t answer, he doesn’t let up on your wrist, and definitely doesn’t spare you a glance until you’re both in the room with the door shut behind your back. It’s almost pitch black in the room, and the only light source is the hallway lights illuminating underneath the crack of the door. Jisung finally lets go of your wrist when it’s just you two in your own space, and he brings that same arm above your head to anchor himself.

“Jisung.”

“Y/n,” his voice comes out hoarse, more playful. This was just what you wanted. He’s right here on a silver platter and you hadn’t even come close to building up the courage to approach him first.

Too bad you love to act dumb for the hell of it.

“What are you doing?” your eyes were slowly adjusting to the darkness, noticing how close his face was to yours. It was the perfect opportunity. Taeyong was probably passed out along with the loud music all throughout the house. There’s no way anyone could hear a thing from inside the room.

“Just wanted you to myself,” he comments. You can smell the alcohol on his lips, assuming it was the reason behind his impatience– but don’t think he’s drunk due to his coherent speech and careful movements.

“You have me to yourself now. So what is it?” you gloat, acting as if you don’t notice him struggling to control himself.

“Sorry, I took you away from your little boyfriend. Look’s like you guys were having fun,” you can hear the slight anger in his voice, jaw clenching following the statement.

You roll your eyes in order to suppress a grin, the alcohol influencing you to play games, “Hyuck isn’t my boyfriend, just an old friend. Remember him?”

He notices the hint of playfulness in your eyes, wanting to just fuck it out of you. But he’s waited too long to do this, and there have been too many interrupted moments, so he leans into patience for resolve. “Oh, I must have missed something babe.”

You shift your face closer to him to prove your point once again, “He calls everyone that! Go up to him, he’ll literally call you babe.”

“Hmm,” Jisung hums. “Should I call him Hyuck too?”

Your eyes shoot to his plushy lips, his jealousy turning you on, but you don’t back down just yet, “If you heard that, then you must’ve heard the part where I told him to go for Yuna.”

“I checked out the moment you were calling each other pet names, baby,” he leans his hips against you, eyes evident with desire even in the darkness.

“Well, it’s definitely different coming from you,” you give him what he wants to hear, but it’s ultimately the truth.

Jisung pulls back just to lean down against your ear, “Different, how?”

It’s like he knows the power he has over you when he’s using that tone, including the fact that you feel him between your legs only slightly hard. It’s definitely bigger than you previously thought, the excitement shooting to your core, “I’m not spelling it out for you, baby.”

The name has him bringing his face back to where it was before, cocking a brow. “Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Play games. Don’t fuck with me because if you are, I’m gonna lose it,” he seethes, all control he previously displayed being lost in an instant.

You began narrowing the gap between the two of you even more, your noses brushing against each other. Jisung falters slightly as you do so, his hand landing on your hip. He's noticeably less in control than when he initially encircled you in the room, taking in every inch of you as you jut your hips forward.

He groans, struggling to keep up with what you've been doing.

"I'm not fucking with you," you say, holding his chin with your thumb and index finger, tilting his head and maintaining eye contact. "Just giving you what you want."

Jisung doesn’t know how you tempt while looking so innocent. If he’s being honest with himself, he never holds a sliver of command when you’re present. “You’re hot as fuck,” he mutters, trying to maintain a normal breathing pattern.

"You're hotter," your lips nearly touch at the movement. You're grinning ear-to-ear, but it's short-lived as Jisung grabs your nape and presses his lips to yours. This kiss is nothing like the previous one, and you want to drown in him. You press your mouth even harder on his, and he responds by positioning his entire weight against your body. You’re actually somewhat sober this time around and take notice of the piercing at the corner of his lips. The silver metal grazing over your lips provides a cold sensation to the hot atmosphere, and you push down a moan at the feeling.

He’s such a good kisser, it surprises you but doesn’t at the same time. The boy you used to know was so different than the one in front of you now.

When you set your arms around his neck to play with his locks, he grabs a hold of your waist. You're drowning, arching your back to relieve the tension in your body as the kiss deepens. Jisung licks your lips, and you easily accept his tongue, lips fighting against his. His tongue dances with yours, getting sloppier by the minute, ready to rip each other's clothes off.

He taps the back of your leg with his hand, signaling for you to jump. You do so without breaking contact with his lips, and he smiles against yours. The taste of alcohol in his mouth ignites something within you, along with the scent of his washed hair intertwined with the cologne he’s wearing.

Jisung slowly sets you down against the mattress, slotting himself between your legs before he pulls back for air. “You look submissive as fuck right now. Is that what you’re into? Being dominated?” he purrs, fingers playing with the waistline of your pants.

“Only if you like to dominate.”

The switch in his head flips, and he uses one hand to unzip your jeans to slowly run his fingers over your clothed clit. Your toes curl at the sudden pressure to your sensitive core that's been begging to be touched. The thin material of your panties doesn’t do much to shield his touch, but one thing’s for sure, if it feels this good, you can’t imagine how it’d feel when it’s not just a tease.

“Fuck,” you pant, moving your hands underneath Jisung’s shirt.

“What?” he asks, moving down to your neck. The sensation of his warm tongue against your neck has your skin igniting goosebumps all over. “I can’t hear you. Already falling apart?”

“N-no,” you stutter, knowing damn well that anything done to you will be the actual end. It seems like he wants to win the moment he brings his red and swollen lips back onto yours, sparing any niceties. He’s smothering you, ruthlessly kissing you to no end. But when you become lost in his lips once again, Jisung slips his hand underneath the band of your underwear to touch your pussy head-on.

“Jisungg,” you say against his mouth.

Of course, he doesn’t let up, circling your bud, knowing exactly where to touch you even though this is the first time you’ve done this with him. It’s nothing, but feels like so much, your thighs attempting to close around his hand.

He’s still attacking your mouth with his, fingers trailing in an up-and-down motion between your folds. It surprises you, and you moan against his mouth, unable to maintain the same pattern with your lips. “Fuck, you’re already so wet,” he lets go of your mouth with a pop, groaning at the arousal coating his fingers.

“Please, Jisung. I need you,” you whimper, unable to take any more of the mere seconds of pleasure he’s giving you. You don’t even look down as he slides your pants off along with your panties in one motion. He tsks, lowly enunciating a small, “So impatient.”

Without anything in the way, he doesn’t waste time plunging his fingers into your pussy, groaning at the way the muscle tightly clamps around his fingers– and it shoots straight down to your core, never getting enough of how deep his voice is.

The pleasure you’ve been trying to grasp is finally reached, a gasp spilling from your lips once he curls his fingers inside you. Your hands have found their way to his back, fingers digging deep into his skin and he hisses at the slight pain.

“Tell me you want this,” he murmurs against your ear while his fingers begin to speed up in pace. You’re bucking your hips up, wanting to meet him halfway in order to reach euphoria. “I w-want it,” you cry.

“Want what?” he asks, voice too soft for the motions he’s enacting.

“Want you. Want you so bad,” you moan, throwing your head back when he hits a certain spot. It feels too good to stop, and every part of your body tingles at the pleasure.

You want to sob at the feeling it brings you, his fingers, mercilessly driving in and out of your cunt, while his thumb circles your clit. Your stomach feels tight from all the stimulation, and his body pressed against yours makes you feel hot all over. What you don’t notice is Jisung’s watching every movement on your facial features, loving the way your brows scrunch and how your pretty lips open up every time he hits a certain spot.

The band in your lower abdomen is on the verge of snapping, and the fact that he's above you doesn't help. Jisung's hair still falls perfectly, occasionally brushing the tip of his nose. He’s so fucking hot, you can’t hold back. You can't stop the orgasm from reaching your body simply by the way he feels on your body and looks above you.

“P-please,” you beg.

At the feeling of your pussy tightening around your fingers, he digs into your cheek, bringing your face back towards his. “Come on, you can do it. Cum,” he demands.

“F-fuck! I-I’m gonna–” you scream, body convulsing as your orgasm washes over you. He doesn’t stop his movements until you’re whining for him to stop. Pulling his coated fingers out, just to bring it to his lips.

As the climactic high wears off, your body becomes limp, but the image of Jisung bringing his plump lips to wrap around his fingers leaves you wanting more. You nearly squeak when he groans at the taste, letting go of his fingers with a pop. "Mmm," Jisung moans. "You taste so good."

“Here, have a taste baby,” he smirks, bringing those same digits to swipe motions at your core. You whimper at the sensitivity, the buzzing feeling still present. “Open,” he commands.

You listen, sticking out your tongue for him to insert them into your mouth. The wet muscle swirls around his fingers, finally closing around them, and you gag when he presses further into your mouth, teasing your throat. “Good girl.”

It’s so arousing that you intend to get up from your original position beneath him, but he catches your wrists and pins them over your head to keep you in place. Maybe it's the unfulfilled horniness from all the other times he’s tried to get you under him, but it's got you whining and squirming beneath him for his tolerance. “Fuck, it’s like you knew this was gonna happen,” he murmurs, not taking his eyes off your body.

His hot breath fans against your face, “Did you?” He begins to trace the contours of your body, slipping underneath your shirt on his way up. “No,” it’s a weak response, body twitching when he starts massaging your breasts. You had just experienced an unearthly orgasm, but everything Jisung does just causes your cunt to clench around nothing, and it’s only once out of a million times since he walked through the door.

“Just fuck me,” you plead, feeling his thick cock prodding at the side of your thigh.

“You sure?” he asks once more for confirmation.

“Yes, now hurry,” your whine turns into a pout, and he chuckles at your impatience.

“Do you have a condom in your room?”

“Fuck no, I’m on birth control.” He groans at the information, already quick to tug his cock out of its confines.

And just like that, Jisung slowly inches his cock into you. “Oh,” you cry at the fullness. He’s stretching you out so well, and the slight burn just adds fuel to the fire.

“Holy shit,” he sighs. “You’re so tight,” to ease the tightness, his fingers are already making their way back to your bud, circling in slow motions, “Relax for me pretty.”

You nod, eyes rolling back into your head when he slowly begins to move. “Fffuck,” he curses, his grip moving to your waist the moment your legs instinctively wrap around his. He feels so fucking good inside you and you regret with every ounce of your being you both didn’t do this sooner. You should’ve jumped him when you had the chance because fuck. How are you going to stop now? “You feel so fucking good,” he groans at the sensation.

“Ji–sung,” you moan, “Faster.” Your walls clench around his hard cock dragging against your walls, speeding up in pace and you fully lose it. The lewd sounds of skin slapping echo through the bedroom, and Jisung just swallows your pour of moans. He eventually listens to your request, practically nailing you into the mattress. It feels so good, the sounds coming from him, the feel of his cock pulling out, leaving the tip, just to roughly thrust back inside. You don’t know how much more you can take.

The thin silver chain he always wears around his neck dangles right before your eyes, and even in your fucked out state, you can’t stop looking at Jisung. The sweat on his forehead causes the front pieces to stick, the glow of sex already peeking through. “This is what you get,” he spits, but you can tell he’s slightly holding back. “This is what you get for all the times you fucking ran away. When I could’ve fucked you dumb like you want.”

Jisung’s name was the only thing coherent as he drills into you, squealing at a particular thrust of his hips. He’s so deep inside you, tip faintly against your cervix. “You’re cock’s s-so big,” you gasp, tears blurring your vision. The higher the tension builds in your stomach, the more Jisung continues to destroy you. “Jisung, fuck!”

“You like it hard huh? Want me to make your pussy mine?” His dirty words only have you holding onto him tighter, digging the heel of your feet into his spine. It’s too bad you can’t respond, your brain a puddle of mush at this point, cock going too fast for you to think about anything else. The bed frame knocks against the walls as the bed shakes but there’s no room to worry about that. Especially when he’s hitting every spot inside you perfectly.

“Answer me,” he grunts as your moans grow higher in pitch, unable to take it much longer.

“Y-yes, it’s a-all yours,” your body jolts after every movement, carving pleasure all over his skin. The thread that holds on for dear life is on the verge of snapping, and you wail before your second orgasm can send you crashing down.

It was so easy for Jisung to slide in and out of your pussy, your dripping arousal coating his cock perfectly. “Ji–” you attempt to warn him, but he already made his way back to your clit, pressing rough circles. You begin to babble random sounds, unable to form coherent words when he’s impaling you.

“Yes!” A shriek tears itself from your throat at your orgasm, and your toes curl at the high that takes over you yet again tonight. Your body spasms, and your mind stuck in a haze when he continues stuffing your achy cunt with him.

“Holy shit,” it’s almost impossible for Jisung to keep going when you’re clamping down on him like a vice, keeping him from completely being able to leave.

“Inside, cum inside, Jisung,” you plead when his hips begin to stutter. After a few more thrusts, he fully moans, painting your insides. “Fuck,” It feels even more full than before, if that was even possible and you whimper from the overstimulation from the last few movements. After his orgasm is at its resolution, he slumps into your form, not bothering to pull out.

You’re both just lying there trying to catch your breath, and it’s somewhat serene. The music combined with the vague sound of murmurs could be heard from outside and that’s when you remember that there were indeed a bunch of individuals present too. Maybe they heard you guys fucking, and Jisung seems to have similar thoughts when he raises his head to murmur something. “I forgot to lock the door.”

Your eyes shoot wide open in response, “What? Are you serious? Someone could walk in to you butt-ass naked!”

You’re actually alarmed, but he just stares back at you, his mouth turning into a wide grin. “Nah, I’m just playin',” he laughs.

You chuckle along with him, playfully slapping his shoulder because of his unseriousness. “You’re so annoying.”

“Get used to it baby, I’m not going anywhere.”

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tobiasdrake · 3 months

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Tactical Story Time? Tactical Story Time.

Shit, I don't really have a pen on me. If only there was a way to preserve a still image of your words for future reference or something.

I dunno, maybe rip out the pages and give those to me. You seemed bizarrely okay with that idea earlier.

Does it say anything in there about what she is? Like, I have a vague understanding of what she is in the sense that she's an ominous force that menaces Repine. She used to be their queen but then she betrayed them, possibly to the Soul Curator?

But. Like. Literally, what is she? A robot? A monster? Just some asshole in the desert? What are we dealing with here and, more importantly, what kind of dimensions are we going to need to dig for the grave?

There is one thing in this entry that is no longer true. I aim to create further contradictions.

Oh cool, a logic puzzle. I can decipher this.

I mean, you could probably decipher it yourself. I've played the quiz game. I know you have all of the answers to everything because you're the smartest person ever.

But I wanna take a spin at it.

That's stupid. That would just put them one march east of their starting point.

That will take them a bit further, but you could do it in three steps if you went south instead of southwest and then east.

So one march northeast and then one march east. The goldilocks of poor navigation.

You realized how bad these directions are?

...so you all had the right directions for part of your trek and you somehow know which part even though you were in the wildly wrong areas of the map. Sure. That makes sense.

There's no way this can be literally true. This is a coded map. So we need to go:

NE SE NE E

Bit convoluted with the norths and souths but at least it's consistently moving east instead of winding stupidly in circles.

Wait, there's a speedball station? Why didn't it come back online with the others? There better be a good reason or I'm going to punch B'st very hard in the shoulder.

I don't want to have to do that. He can't actually be hurt because he only experiences the conscious suggestion to behave as though he's been hurt, but also he is very hard and I might injure my hand. Please do not make me have to do that.

Known and noted. Your sacrifice is now part of a larger effort to tear the Queen That Was from her throne and leave her lifeless body in the sands.

Rest in Vengeance, Joce.

Alright, team! It's going to be a four day hike through those sands so we need to make sure we've stocked plenty of food for.....

...glass golem....

...haunted puppet....

...Serai, do you actually eat food? That could go either way. Have you been not eating food this whole time, and your crew just never noticed because of your suave mystique?

Huh. I. Guess. We only have three mouths to feed. That will make this simpler.

Oh my god I am actually sick of the color blue. I didn't think I could get sick of the color blue. I love blue. It's such a great color. But four straight days of nothing but blue is too much blue. It's way too much blue. How do you people live among all this blue?

Oh. So it's a private Speedball station. That makes sense. Congratulations, B'st, you've been spared from having to break my hand.

It's fucking empty. Did we just spend four days wandering aimlessly through an ocean of blue only to find out that the queen's been dead all this time? Are your people living in fear of a memory?

...maybe the real Queen That Was is actually the sand that got in my fucking pants along the way.

What, to murder someone? I'm always ready for that. It's been, like, my default state of being ever since we lost Garl.

I should probably see a therapist about it but I'm not going to because I might kill them.

...you know what, unfurled like that, you're actually really beautiful. I'm going to beat you to death, but I want you to know that you're making the whole "abomination of wires and guns" thing really work for you. I especially love the hand made of cord fingers, and the way your neck forms the handle of a gun.

Are you able to combine into, like, a hand holding a gun that then shoots-- Sorry, I'm getting distracted to the point that Serai's starting to give me stink-eye. We came here to murder.

Oh, you CAN!? AHHHH YES, THAT IS SO FUCKING COO--

OW. FUCK.

Why do I say things? T-T

You know what? Fine. You want to go? Let's go. My artillery is better than yours.

The puppet isn't good for much but he can carry out a fine carpet bombing.

Fuck her up, Serai. This is your moment. I'm just glad we could be here to help make it happen.

Revenge is underrated; That felt great.

We can mark that off as another great menace your people no longer have to live under, thanks to the magic of excessive amounts of violence. I think your world is just about fully liberated at this point.

There's just one malefactor still lingering in the realm.

#sea of stars #drake plays sea of stars

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starwalker03 · 6 months

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I realized WMLP Dick’s position in that army unit is similar to his early experience with the team. He’s the youngest has a lot of experience and skills his squad mates don’t, among peers for the first time in a while, hiding his true identity, gets pushed out of his comfort zone by the people he was with. Expect this time is was true war. And he came away without bonding with his team and looking down on them. Would this experience effect how he views his memories of The Team?

Huh. Actually that's a good point.

It would definitely make him remember how unprepared they were for That Whole Situation, just thrown into missions having never worked together except for the Cadmus mission which ended with an exploded building like. Bruh. I know they weren't giving the league many options but also what the fUCK guys y'all just sent them off on their merry way like that. The fact they didn't die in episode three is a miracle.

But then also he's so aware of the difference between working with people who are fighting because they're genuinely good people with a desire to help others, as opposed to... Well. People who wanna shoot guns, had no other options, want the military to pay off their degree, et cetera et cetera so on so forth. Like this team is so different to his old one it's almost distracting. It's almost problematic. It's almost enough to snap Dick out of the constant unrelenting need to do as he's told and question Slade because 'uh hey yeah what the fUCK is up with these people'

Dick has to force a level of indifference between himself and his new team because if he doesn't he can't focus on the task at hand. He can't help but think about the fact that these people should not be running around armed with thousands of lives in their hands.

It doesn't help that they're all unaware of half of the shit that goes down in the world. Even Dick's superiors have only the smallest understandings of figures like Count Vertigo and Gorilla Grod and none of them have any idea who Vandal Savage is. Queen Bee? Uh you mean the dictator of that small kick of desert in the middle east?

(CW for conversations about the "war on terror" ahead)

Oh my god. I didn't even consider that if Bialya and Qurac are middle eastern countries they're surprisingly close by during the wars of the early 2000s. Like I've hand waved and said 'yeah going off timeline Dick probably got sent around the middle east' but completely failed to realise he might have even been in Bialya or Qurac for missions.

I wonder how those countries engaged with wars in the area in lore. It's apparently north of Saudi Arabia and Iran in wider DC lore? But YJ isn't specific?

Here's a Reddit thread I found where people start getting into nitty gritty details:

Essentially they're depi ting Bialya and Qurac as west and east Iran, respectively. And also offering theories as to how those countries could have come to be.

If I continue to use Australia as the example (which I suppose I should cause I've essentially canonized it in the fic at this point), Australia was only particularly involved with Afghanistan and Yemen I believe, but I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge.

Bialya and Qurac could, possibly, border operations in Afghanistan. Young justice lore states that Bialya is a part of the UN and therefore may not be particularly open to military operations but very well could have housed a few bases on the borders.

Jesus. Getting this into the lore of YJ feels so strange and I'm honestly not sure if it's inappropriate or not. I could believe Queen Bee being involved with the war on terror, whether it's a part of Savage's plans or not, just because she enjoys conflict. Moreover it helps with the anti-Quraci thing she has going. From what I can tell of the show, Qurac seems to be a majority Islamic country? So I could see her manipulating the image of things to benefit her attempts to take back Qurac.

Well this spiralled. Uh I might end this answer here actually.

#dc comics #fanfiction #dick grayson #young justice #with morality like a polynomial #wmlp #deathstroke #angst #cw war #cw war on terror

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diamondangelkitten · 3 days

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Vierapril Day 24: Perform

“We should do a Scion Talent Show!” Tataru exclaims proudly one morning. The collected group of Scions all turn to face her with various expressions ranging from amusement to terror and to disbelief.

“And why would we subject ourselves to that?” Y’shtola asks calmly, though her swaying tail belies her unease.

“Well, currently there’s no crisis going on, and we finally have everyone back here! What better way to spend the time?” Tataru has started to give her pleading eyes, making everyone feel uncomfortable.

Alira pipes up from where she’s lounging on the sofa, “Sure you’re not just trying to find a new way to market us to the people?” She suddenly feels a very intense gaze on her and she opens her eyes to find Tataru staring above her.

“How could you say that? I care about you deeply!”

“Uh-huh. So I heard about this range of books while in the Far East. Something about the WoL’s and their supposed love lives?” Alira raises her brow at the Lalafell, who squeaks at the accusation. “Alright, that’s fair, but they were tastefully done. I promise!”

Alinea gives a bit of a scoff, but quickly covers it with a cough. Annabeth laughs at the scene playing out, before saying, “Alright Tataru. We’ll do your talent show. Any rules/limits?”

“None at all! Though I’d prefer that Mor Dhona still be intact once we’re done. You have 3 days to prepare.”

The Scions sigh, but they soon depart, either by themselves or in groups to decide what they’ll be performing. Alira plops down next to Annabeth, sighing dramatically, “Whatever am I going to do?”

Annabeth laughs, flicking Alira’s nose, “I’m sure you’ll come up with something. Though maybe keep the fire to a minimum.”

“Fire, you say? Hm..”

Alira is soon lost in thought, so Annabeth turns to Alinea and Aurora, “Do you girls have ideas?” Aurora nods her head immediately, while Alinea shakes her head.

“I have no idea what talents I have that I can show on stage.”

“Can’t you play any musical instrument you want?” Aurora quips.

“I don’t know that! I just was playing around on the piano the other day… I didn’t actually know what I was doing.” Alinea sighs, “Dumb amnesia.”

Annabeth laughs, “Well, I’m sure we’ll all manage to be great. But I for one, am going to go rest now. See y’all in a couple of days.”

In three days time the Scions have gathered at the Ironworks workshop across from the Rising Stones. Nero decided to invite himself after hearing Annabeth talk about it, and was watching from the rafters. He wasn’t sure what to expect, but he was looking forward to the spectacle. He had to admit, it was better than expected. The boy and the tall Elezen, Urianger, he thinks, done a dramatic reading of something from Sharlyan’s history. The girl done a performance with her flying pig familiar that had everyone clapping, though she seemed to not like it when everyone called her cute. G'raha Tia and the other Lalafell acted out a scene from Allagan history. Thancred done a rather impressive display with knives, while the scary cat lady done a rather impressive performance with marionettes. He noted that Tataru seemed to not be participating, though this was because she was apparently the only judge.

Finally it was time for the WoL’s to go. Alinea went first and played a rather fun melody on the violin. He never knew she played that instrument. Then went Aurora, who had everyone clapping along to a sea shanty. He was surprised at the strong voice the little Au’Ra had, but she sang beautifully. Then Alira went on stage and he bet to himself that it would definitely include fire. And he was right. Like Thancred did a dazzling knife display, with twirls and juggling, so too did Alira, but this time with balls of flame. Occasionally, she’d throw in a sphere of ice, but her flames were dazzling. Then it was Annabeth’s turn. He really was rather disappointed that she hadn’t shared her plans. As if she knew what he was thinking, she turned to look at him when she took the stage and winked. And then she sang. It was a rather haunting melody, sung in a language he had never heard before. It seemed to reach right into your soul and hang there. He looked at the Scions and saw they were also enraptured by her performance, with Alira silently crying. He deduced it must have been a language of the Forest, so the true meaning was lost on the rest of them. As Annabeth finished the song, Alira rushed up to the stage to hug her. Both girls held on to the embrace for quite a while.

Tataru eventually got everyone back into their seats. “Well done, everyone! That was incredible!! And now to pick a winner…” All the Scions leaned forwards. “Everyone wins! We’re going to Costa de Sol for two nights to relax under the sun.”

“What?!” Exclamations went up all around the group. Tataru nodded, “Pack your bags! We leave in an hour!” Hurriedly everyone up and left to go grab what they needed, and Nero made his way down to Tataru.

“Well, that was something,” he said in way of greeting. Tataru looked him up and down, “Annabeth won that hands down, with Aurora a close second, but in truth, I just wanted them to have fun. They’ve been through so much. I just want them to remember what it is to live in the moment.” Laughter came from the Rising Stones and Nero had to smile at the Lalafell.

“Your devious plan has paid off I’d say. Congratulations. Continue to take care of our girls, won’t you?”

“I will!”

#ffxiv #alira thorne #annabeth rose #vierapril #I had to rewrite this but my first thought was karaoke - this is close to that and stuck to the theme :D

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beardedmrbean · 13 days

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Oh dear, two weeks of hospital food? Damn

Oh yes i understand white people don’t want to be told they are inherently racist just like I don’t want to be told I’m a eternal victim

Actually you help fixed some stuff with the native wizards

So most natives wizards are usually from or left the reservations, but still have strong tribe roots. And they have traditional garbs, but I decided use Victorian area because I learn many Native Americans adapted to that style of clothing and mixed it with their traditional looks. And my natives wizards are usually young to middle age. So it much easier to carry around colonial or Victorian style clothing for repairs to easily fix very old stuff.

Now they are full blown shamans, but they are usually old and often on the reservations. Now I don’t want to be rude, but my native wizards tackle modern topics of what the tribe is now vs what more can they do. I would also make sure to have proper consalutes to the individual tribes I use

Side note, the other disporia are taught their parents traditions. But of course over the generations and years they have been modified. Also they usually have…outposts, think of Chinatown. Now the outpost’s usually have to make a compromise with the American Wizarding system. Though the ancestral wizards are often under persecution and in hiding, but they can’t leave their sources of energy

Ugh shit I’m mumbling

Now for traditional garb for the wizards and magical users across the Americas perhaps a century prior to the American revolution and later the other countries. Realized they are too different from the magical users from the old world. And they say glimpses into the future the colonial empires will fall.

Now these guilds eventually became American and Mexican wizards societies. Of course they had like local guilds that left, merge and such. So traditional garb….very from person to place

Like east coast wizards may have better connections to colonial era stuff. But…FUCK, word building hard. But it was decided that early modern age particularly Victorian. So the stand idea of an American wizard is Victorian-1920’s. Because I love art deco and the prohibition is where most of the country united against the government which created the proper American magic

Thanks for liking my jokes, see not all Gen z have that Whedon snark or Rick and Morty Nilihism

Oh here another one

Black American necromancer: Yes! I finally brought back my civil war ancestor! Now he can tell me how he fought for the…

Confederate zombie: ugh where am I? Wait is this yankee land?!

BN: W-What?! How?! What slave you force yourself onto?!

CZ looking at his descendant: Oh hey me and Susie kids did make it out alive!

BN: Is that the slave you abused?!

CZ: Huh? She was my wife!

The other American wizard who also a civil war historian: wait hold on let me check my records…oh I think I found your ancestor. Is this you?

CZ: yep

AW: Alright, do some echo magic…Ah! This soldier married a freed slave after the war. They had 6 kids, 4 that have modern offsprings. Huh it says here they lived for for 60 years

BN : HOW THE FUCK AM I RELATED TO A CONFEDERATE?!

AW: 🙄, many Americans have both union and confederation ancestry. It was called a brother fighting brother war for a reason

BN: We’re in New York!

CZ: Oh it is yankee land, my youngest son said he was going to New York for work. But after Susie died, I was heartbroken and died shortly afterwards

AW: Ah, this must be him, it says here after your funeral. He stayed and died in New York due to the difficulty of the Great Depression

BN: Wait that my great great grandpa! Why I wasn’t told this?

AW: Oh your family knows, but your father told me to come with you as it seem your family confederate ancestry is told when the children comes to age

BN: How can I live with it?

AW: The Chinese American wizards have to deal with cannibalism urges due to a stupid spell a sorcerer did. And Andre 3000 wore a confederate belt in the Ms Jackson music video

Sorry for the long dialogue, it seem that a lot of African Americans are getting mindfuck with the ancestry dna tests

Um my fellow blacks…not every white genes is because of slave owners abusing slave women…and while we are mostly black, we aren’t inbred as hell.

Ya I don't think there's much of anything that won't taste good after this

Oh yes i understand white people don’t want to be told they are inherently racist just like I don’t want to be told I’m a eternal victim

Now if only the people making media could figure that out, was watching a episode of the 2019 revival of Twilight Zone since Amazon took X-Files away from me, but the whole tone of the episode was so heavy handed with the racist white cop narrative in that one I had trouble enjoying it, Rod Sterling was a master of getting the point across without jamming it into your face, usually the one about the commies was pretty in your face.

Actually you help fixed some stuff with the native wizards ect.....

So it was decided to make local I want to guilds or societies as they were very different from the old world and can control local ancient beings better. IE the 13 colonies guild wanted to have the lovecraft users “loyalty” Now these guilds eventually became American and Mexican wizards societies. Of course they had like local guilds that left, merge and such. So traditional garb….very from person to place

That works, gonna need to be a "school" uniform but this is America we can be a bit unique in the working world, at least in some industries.

Thanks for liking my jokes, see not all Gen z have that Whedon snark or Rick and Morty Nilihism

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that I will do my level best to treat people as individuals and not part of a group, unless they're scientologists because bleh, or communists because they've chosen to identify as part of a collective and respecting that means collective responsibility for the whole collective.

Oh here another one (scroll up to read)

AW: The Chinese American wizards have to deal with cannibalism urges due to a stupid spell a sorcerer did. And Andre 3000 wore a confederate belt in the Ms Jackson music video

Quality ending, wondering how this will work out, since you brought cannibalism into it, some of the various African wizards, potion makers really as well, no real gentle way to put it other than life would be hell for a albino African wizard, or complicated at least.

That or if they found a spell for regrowing fingers and such they could make a ton of money.

Suppose the choice would be if you wanted to go tragedy or comedy on that.

Cajuns in Louisiana probably would have a beef with the Haitians and possibly the Dominicans too.

Sorry for the long dialogue, it seem that a lot of African Americans are getting mindfuck with the ancestry dna tests Um my fellow blacks…not every white genes is because of slave owners abusing slave women…and while we are mostly black, we aren’t inbred as hell.

Jungle fever is a thing, also history goes a ways back and you really don't know who was trotting round in the Congo 2000 years ago, that and the Boers are a thing there was mixing there I don't care how racist people were or illegal it was, folks fall in love.

Humans been bumpin uglies a long time and if you think the only way it could happen between people of different skin colours was by rape you lack the capacity to understand love and are likely racist as well.

Come on now

Love these two

Most fun part is she's actually African so it's not like folks can speak over her on all the stuff she talks about

Video I saw "the coon and the colonizer" directed at her, they hate her cuz they ain't her.

#zoomer huey anon

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spitblaze · 1 year

Text

ever start writing something and then drop it because you don't know how to write it, and also don't really know where you're going with it?

Anyway here's like four or five paragraphs of Neku and Beat hanging out and talking about writing rap lyrics

The sun beat down on the bustling city, a city full of art, full of culture, full of people. The unexpected heat wave sent a ripple through the crowds, redirecting destinations, changing plans, as people crowded towards shade, towards the inside of buildings, cafes and restaurants that offered cold drinks, shops that offered air conditioning, awnings and underpasses that offered shade. And as the living inhabitants of the Shibuya ward sought refuge from the sun, the less-than-alive followed suit in their own realm, the ‘Underground’ plane of existence that- while Neku wasn’t completely sure how or why- experienced the same weather as its ‘Realground’ counterpart, heat waves included.

At any rate, physics, metaphysics, thermodynamics, or meta-thermodynamics be damned, the two partners found themselves avoiding the sun by squatting in the shady alleyway of A-East. Being undead (or just regular dead? He wasn’t very sure) thankfully meant no need for hydration, but that didn’t necessarily translate to ‘no want’. Neku took another sip of the soda in his hands, still somewhat shocked that he never thought to try the vending machines while in the UG. He had assumed that the only places he could purchase things were storefronts with Reaper decals, but it wasn’t like a vending machine cares if it can see you or not. As long as it gets the money, it’ll give you what you want.

It was Beat’s idea, really- he saw a vending machine, stuck a few hundred yen in, and got a sports drink. He hadn’t even considered the fact that he was dead, he just walked right up and did it. That was the thing about Beat- he was impulsive, and rarely thought before he did anything, assuming he had the mental capacity to do so. Neku could try and talk some sense into him, but it was hard to argue with the kind of results Beat got by just...doing what he does. Well. Most of the time, anyway.

“Shibuya...blew ya...nah, no…” Beat muttered under his breath, tapping intently on his phone. Neku raised an eyebrow in his direction, completely unnoticed. “Shot through ya...yeah, okay, hm…”

“Beat?” Neku finally asked.

“Whuh-huh?” Beat snapped to attention, almost startled.

Neku rolled his eyes. “You’ve been talking to yourself all afternoon. After Joshua, the last thing I need is for my partner to go insane on me.”

“Nah, yo, you got it all wrong.” Beat moved his legs from a squat to a crisscross on the ground, turning to face Neku rather than the street. “I’m thinkin’ up some rhymes.”

“What?”

“Aw, c’mon, Phones,” Beat sighed. “Rhymes, lyrics, somethin’ I can put to a rhythm. How you gonna wear those things on ya head all day and still not know what I’m talkin’ bout?”

Neku glared in response.

“Well, anyway,” he continued, completely undeterred, “I got struck with a bit of inspiration a while back, and I got some music stuff stewin’ now.”

Awfully big word for Beat, Neku thought. “What kind of stuff?”

“Aw, it ain’t much.” Beat looked up and scratched his head through his beanie. “When I get real stressed I like to put it into somethin’ more creative. Punchin’s cool, but sometimes you gotta use ya brain, right?”

#spitblaze says things #if its not clear. what i dont know how to write is rap lyrics #i have no earthly idea how to write music and no amount of research has helped #also i had no idea what i was building to with this so. eh #twewy #neku sakuraba #daisukenojo bito #beat twewy #nekubeat #if you squint lmao #spitblaze writes things #the world ends with you #if anyone wants to take this and actually do something with it ur welcome to. just @ me

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purplepiratefaerywitchthing · 1 year

Text

I Clean Houses and Write Stuff (Sometimes)

Blog Post #1

1/7/23

I hate the holidays. But I like New Years. I like the idea of starting fresh, of turning a new page. Perhaps it's a little consumerist of me, but I like the idea of new-ness all together.

But of course, the only "new" thing is the calendar on the wall. Because in the immortally wise words of my otherwise muddle-minded mother, "you take yourself with you wherever you go."

There is no "new year, new you."

You're still just... You. And I think people forget that. They make their goal list too long, they stay up til midnight, drink champagne, set off fireworks, maybe even dance around their living room and then... Suddenly it's a few minutes past midnight. The first few minutes of a "new year."

But nothing is new.

Everything is the same.

I know so many people who have what I, in my ever armchair-therpaist way, call "Grass-Is-Aways-Greener Syndrome." I'm thinking of one in particular, who has struggled in life more than anyone's fair share. They live here in Cleveland, Ohio just a few minutes from me, but their family is in sunny, concrete-and-wildfire infested LA. And they have not settled here, not really. Perhaps because they can't settle anywhere. So they pine for their family, think everything will just be better if they were out west or their family came east and then someone gets on a plane and goes somewhere to visit and... Nothing is better. All the things they struggle with are still there. Sometimes they're made worse by the proximity of old, toxic routines they fell into in teens and early twenties.

It makes me sad just as much as it pisses me off, because I watch them fall into this pattern over and over again, over years and years. It never gets better. I want to take them by their shoulders and go "don't you see?"

The environment can change, but you're still the same. And even if you try to change and manage to succeed, it will happen so gradually you probably won't even notice it until years have gone by, and you find yourself doing something that may be you would not have been able to do years before, or would have done it differently had you tried.

Or maybe you'll be so caught up in the Now, whatever and whenever that is, that you will lose that bit of introspection, and be unable to sit back on your heels and go, "huh, that's interesting" before continuing.

I think it's so easy to go, "this year, I'm going to do X." Because we all like the idea of new-ness, of a fresh start.... But by February we'll fall back into our old routines, struggle the same struggles, and "not get anything done."

But then again, maybe we won't.

It is a new year, after all.

#new years #blog post #writing blog #writing community #on writing #on life #2023 #personal post #writeblr #I Clean Houses and Write Stuff Blog

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rendevousz · 3 years

Text

not a secret anymore

natasha romanoff x fem!teen!reader

summary: nat reveals a secret to the public when your class takes a learning journey to the tower.

requested: yes

warnings: might come off as half assed writing because this probably is one of my worst works i'm so sorry 😭😭

word count: 1681

notes: i'm so sorry i haven't been writing much, i've recently just gotten extremely busy so i had no time to sit down and write (this one was literally written between all the short breaks i had 😫) and i have a few requests piling up so i hope you guys can understand if they come later <3

"hi, y/n!" ally, an agent, greeted you as you, along with your classmates, walked through the east wing hallway of the tower. your classmates—except for peter, ned and mj— turned to look at you with confused looks.

your class was having a learning journey at the avengers tower and you had contemplated on calling in sick to avoid people who worked in the tower acknowledging you around your classmates.

you were actually an avenger—yeah, crazy—, having been rescued during one of the many avengers' hostage rescue missions few years ago. you were able to single-handedly take down a few of your captors, hence why the team took interest in you then.

now, though you had been trained enough, they decided to keep you a secret in order to protect you. lord knows how many people would try hurt you if they ever found out the avengers had a new, teenage recruit. peter was technically still safe as his alter-ego is masked so you had no choice but to only go on missions that weren't in the public eye.

you also lived in the tower so the agents and staff were undoubtedly familiar with you, some even friends with you, just like ally, who had just passed by with a wave of her hand at you before turning the corner.

"did that lady just acknowledge you?" an annoying voice spoke from beside you in a mocking tone. you gulped, not wanting to respond to flash's irrelevant question.

"hey, loser, i'm talking to you," he nudged your arm with his elbow and you held the urge to grab it and flip his whole body upside down. it's not like you couldn't—you had the skills, obviously— but it's the fact that you didn't want to get in trouble for that.

you ended up keeping quiet, like you always did whenever the boy taunted you. peter taught you to do just that. if it were up to you, flash's stupid face wouldn't even dare to show itself in front of you anymore.

speaking of peter, he was nowhere to be seen by now. you internally rolled your eyes. it had only been two minutes and they were already gone. peter was probably showing them around the place. you had no idea how your teacher didn't notice the three of them missing from your group. you were so going to kill them for ditching you and leaving you alone when they knew they were your only friends. they were also the reason why flash still had his head to this day because they'd stop you from doing anything rash. now you weren't sure if flash would be safe from your fury.

"you probably work here as a cleaner on the weekends or something, huh? that's the only way people here would know you," flash jeered. you let out a breath, trying to control your anger towards the boy.

you rolled your eyes, opting to deliberately ignore his insults and walk away instead, hoping you'll bump into those three idiots of friends of yours.

"did you just ignore me?" flash asked incredulously, as if it was a crime to ignore his annoying ass. he pulled you back by your back collar, effectively halting you in your spot.

by instinct, you grabbed his hand that was on your collar, twisting it and turning his whole body around, pinning him against the wall with his twisted arm pressed against his back. it happened in just two seconds which totally caught flash off guard, the boy groaning in pain as he begged you to let him free.

you could hear a series of gasps from all around you and you internally groaned. this is why you always ignored flash's taunting. you didn't want to attract attention to yourself and have people wonder how you could defend yourself so well. but flash just had to provoke you. especially here, out of all places.

"what's going on here?" you heard a familiar voice ask and you sighed.

"oh my gosh! it's the black widow!"

"miss romanoff!"

"oh my gosh, i'm gonna need to get a picture for my mum later, she's gonna freak out!"

you stepped away from flash, releasing him as he dramatically kept rubbing at his arm. as if you even put that much pressure. flash smirked, seeing this as a chance to complain about you to an official avenger.

"this girl right here," flash points an accusing finger at you with a glare, like he wasn't just practically begging for his life twenty seconds ago. "attacked me."

you rolled your eyes, unamused. "i hardly attacked him." you told nat. the woman turned to you, an eyebrow raised as she gave you a knowing look. "this...?" she trailed off and you nodded, knowing what she was insinuating. you'd told her about flash one too many times for her not to immediately figure out who he is from a crowd of students.

"flash thompson. heard a lot about you," she turned to the boy. flash's face lit up, thinking he must've made a name for himself or something that even the black widow knew him. little did he know he did, but not for good reasons.

"i would prefer if you stop messing with y/n/n." nat gave him a sharp look and that grin was immediately wiped off his face. "i– y/n/n?" he stuttered, confused that the natasha romanoff is calling you by a nickname.

"you do know she can kick your ass if she wanted to, right? she's been silent all this while because she didn't want to hurt you but you just never seem to learn, huh?" nat took slow, calculated steps towards him until she was towering over him.

"she doesn't need anyone to protect her because she's fully capable of that but i'm just here to warn you, kid, that she, is not to be meddled with. i'm saying this for your own good, flash thompson. she's capable of much worse than whatever she just did to you. so if i hear you messing around with her or any of her friends," she pauses before continuing with a whisper. "i'll close one eye on whatever she wants to do with you."

you wished you could've taken a picture of the dead scared look on flash's face; it was priceless. you turned to nat once she stepped away from him and she put an arm around your shoulder, leading you both away from the watching crowd.

"i–i'm sorry, miss romanoff," you could hear one of your teachers say and nat stopped, effectively stopping you too as she had you in her hold. "but miss y/l/n is on a learning journey with us and she'll miss the tour of the tower if she leaves with you. we'll be discussing a lot regarding this trip in class and she won't understand what we talk about if she misses this tour. i hope you understand." he spoke nervously.

"with all due respect, y/n's seen the whole tower already," she smiles at him but you could tell it was fake. "even the avengers' residential floors which are closed to the public and most employees of the tower."

your teacher looked at her wide-eyed, mouth open but nothing coming out. nat smiles a fake one once again. "now if you'll excuse us, the both of us have avenger duties to attend to."

gasps could be heard all around you and in the midst of it all, your best friends came back and you made eye contact with them, all of them having the same shocked look on their face.

"avenger duties?! nat, what are you doing?!" you whisper-yelled at the woman who seemed to be enjoying the reactions of your classmates and teachers.

"y/n!" peter ran over to you, your other friends following suit. "oh, um hi miss romanoff," he greets shyly. "thanks a lot, guys, look what happened." you spoke sarcastically, rolling your eyes at them. nat proceeded to drag you away from your friends and the last thing you saw was them mouthing apologies and you half-heartedly mouthing to them back that it was fine.

"relax, y/n/n, the public were about to find out soon anyways." nat said nonchalantly. "what?!" you exclaimed once you two were in a different hallway.

"yeah, you're gonna have press this weekend for this. we're gonna officially announce you to the world as an avenger." she once again says nonchalantly, as if this wasn't the first time you were hearing this. "wait, wait, wait, seriously?" you asked in disbelief. no one had told you anything.

"yeah, i—ohh yeah, you don't know yet," nat remembers and you give her an unimpressed look. she wasn't usually this dumb; she only showed this side of her to you. "sorry, i uh, yeah.. i was supposed to come get you for this. meeting with fury and the rest, yknow?" she tells you and you nodded slowly, taking in the information.

"but tell me it didn't feel good that you got to do that to flash," the woman states excitedly and you playfully rolled your eyes at her. "you got to do something. i'm practically an empty threat to him," you stated matter-of-factly.

"not after this weekend you're not. he'll be afraid of you after. that's what you get for being a smelly bully." you couldn't help the little smile on your face. she really sounded like a child right now and it was adorable.

"alright, natty, whatever you say. let's go before fury releases his fury." you look at her hopefully, waiting for her to laugh at your joke which she responded with an unimpressed look. that of course didn't work as you two burst out laughing looking at each other's faces.

you walked alongside her, the woman resting an arm around your shoulder. you smiled up at her as she talked about her day.

god, you couldn't wait to be able to finally walk out in public with these people you considered family.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa @rqmanoff @abitofeverythinggg @andreasworlsboring101 @cay-writes-fan-fiction514 @teenwonder @sevenmorningstars @fleurlovesbucky @marauvdersfate

#marvel x teen!reader #avengers x reader #avengers x teen!reader #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #avengers #avenger!reader #mcu x teen!reader #mcu x reader #avengers x avenger!reader #natasha romanoff x avenger!reader #peter parker x reader

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zuko-always-lies · 3 years

Text

Unpopular Opinion: Zuko’s treatment of Mai is deeply toxic.

Mai is a character who is often maligned in the fandom, with it even occasionally being claimed that she was “abusive” toward Zuko. Any objective analysis of Mai’s behavior in her relationship with Zuko will instead find that she was, in fact, a shockingly good romantic partner, generally treating Zuko very well and being loyal to him far beyond reasonable expectation. Claims that Mai behaved toxically toward Zuko seem to be instead founded in misogynistic expectations that women be perfect caretakers for the men in their lives.

That is not to say that the Zuko-Mai relationship isn’t still deeply toxic. However, its toxicity stems from the manner which Zuko badly mistreats Mai, often in ways which devalue her. Much more under the cut.

Our story begins in the first half of Book 3. The vast majority of episodes there don’t show anything particularly toxic going on in the relationship. The most you can say is that they suggest that Zuko tends to dump his problems on others and doesn’t have best understanding of his girlfriend.

However, inevitably we must turn to “The Beach,” the episode which, by far, gets the most into the Zuko-Mai relationship. To say that Zuko doesn’t behave well toward Mai in this episode would be an understatement. I don’t speak here of Zuko’s unsuccessful attempts to please Mai early in the episode, but instead how badly he starts treating her beginning at the party:

Ruon Jian: Hey, first ones here, huh? Zuko: (cut to shot of Zuko and Mai walking side by side) Pft. He thinks he's so great. (to Mai) Well, what do you think of him? (they stop walking) Mai: I don't have any opinion about him. I hardly know him. Zuko: You like him, don't you? (Mai sighs and walks away, as Zuko looks angrily in the direction of Ruon Jian. The camera zooms in on Ruon Jian)

And

(Cut to shot of Ruon Jian leaning over Mai. Zuko rushes toward them angrily and pushes Ruon Jian away from her. Cut to shot of Ruon Jian straightening his hair.) Ruon Jian: Whoa. What are you doing? Zuko: (close-up shot of Zuko, angry) Stop talking to my girlfriend! Ruon Jian: (Ruon Jian approaches Zuko) Relax, it's just a party. (Zuko pushes Ruon Jian hard, sending him flying across the room, breaking a giant vase.) Mai: (Mai stands up and grabs Zuko's shoulder. He turns towards her.) Zuko, what is wrong with you?! Zuko: What's wrong with me?! Mai: (angrily) Your temper's out of control. You blow up over every little thing. You're so impatient and hot-headed and angry. Zuko: Well, at least I feel something...as opposed to you. You have no passion for anything. (raising his arms is the air) You're just a big "blah". Mai: (turning away from him) It's over, Zuko. We're done.

And:

(Zuko follows her and the camera pans down to the handprint, left alone on the porch. Cut to wide view of the camera panning down Ember Island Beach. Zuko and Azula are walking side by side toward Mai and Ty Lee. Close shot of Zuko looking toward Mai and then looking away. Close shot of Mai looking angry and a bit sad.) Mai: Hey... (Interrupted) Zuko: (close shot of Zuko) Where's your new boyfriend? (Mai turns away angrily. Zuko comes and sits next to her) Are you cold? (he puts his arm around her, but she slaps it away)

Zuko is acting in a massively controlling fashion toward Mai, motivated by his violent and rage-filled jealously. She literally can’t talk to a boy without Zuko flying into a jealous rage, trying to separate her from the person she’s talking to, and accusing her of emotional infidelity. In real life, this is considered a warning sign for an abusive relationship(although I don’t think Zuko has crossed the line into abusive yet).

“The Beach” also gives us this:

Mai: Oh, well, I'm sorry I can't be as high-strung and crazy as the rest of you. (Cut to over-head shot of the four teens. Zuko walks closer to the fire and Mai.) Zuko: I'm sorry, too. I wish you would be high-strung and crazy for once, (Close shot of Mai looking away and Zuko standing over her) instead of keeping all your feelings bottled up inside. She just called your aura dingy. Are you gonna take that?

Zuko tries to provoke Mai into having a fight with her best friend Ty Lee just so he can watch her express strong emotions. Zuko very much wants to Mai to be and act like someone she’s not, which has its own issues.

Overall, Zuko treats Mai quite poorly in “The Beach.” The episode ends with this:

Mai: I know one thing I care about... (Cut to shot of Mai smiling at Zuko) I care about you. (Mai and Zuko kiss. Azula claps, causing them to separate and turn toward Azula. The camera pans left to include her.)

Mai forgives Zuko and accepts him back without him acknowledging his behavior was wrong, apologizing for it, or giving her any guarantee that he will treat her better in the future. That’s unfortunate, as Zuko soon ends up treating her far, far worse than he ever did in this episode.

Zuko’s disregard for Mai cumulates with the manner he commits treason on the Day of Black Sun. Let us start our understanding of what he did wrong from the beginning. Breaking up with Mai via a letter which didn’t give her a real explanation was a real asshole move, but it’s not at the core of what he did wrong. For that, we need to turn to this conversation from “The Headband”:

Zuko: Can't you see we're busy? (He and Mai resume their "business".) Azula: (not to be put off) Oh, Mai... Ty Lee needs your help untangling her braid. Mai: (complaisantly) Sounds pretty serious. (She gets up and leaves. Walking past Azula, towards the camera, she shoots the princess a quick, poisonous glance behind her back.) Azula: So...I hear you've been to visit your Uncle Fatso in the prison tower. Zuko: (standing, incensed) That guard told you. Azula: (smugly) No, you did. Just now. Zuko: (sitting back down) Okay, you caught me. What is it that you want, Azula? Azula: (solicitiously) Actually, nothing. Believe it or not, I'm looking out for you. If people find out you've been to see Uncle, they'll think you're plotting with him. Just be careful, dum-dum.

Zuko has proven his loyalty to the Fire Nation beyond doubt, yet Azula is still very worried that him spending time with Iroh will get him accused of treason, because having a close association with traitors puts oneself under almost automatic suspicion of treason.

“Day of Black Sun, Part II”:

Zuko: First of all, in Ba Sing Se, it was Azula who took down the Avatar, not me. Fire Lord Ozai: Why would she lie to me about that? Zuko: Because the Avatar is not dead. He survived. Fire Lord Ozai: (alarmed) What?!

Zuko deliberately throws Azula under the bus, hurting her and reducing her status with Ozai as much possible while effectively accusing her of deliberately committing treason. He also deliberately pisses off Ozai as much as possible.

So where does this leave us? Mai is Zuko’s known girlfriend and extremely close associate. Automatically, the suspicion of knowing of Zuko’s treason ahead of time or being involved falls upon her. She’s in grave risk of being imprisoned, tortured, or executed, especially since Ozai seems not the type to be strictly concerned with ensuring those he punishes are guilty beyond reasonable doubt. The Fire Nation seems like a society which might have collective punishment(as historical East Asian societies, Nazi Germany, and the Stalinist Soviet Union did), and Mai might be under risk from that direction. Finally, Ozai might hurt her simply as way of retaliating against Zuko.

Normally Azula would almost certainly be able to protect her friend, even under these trying circumstances, given Azula’s prestige and accomplishments. However, Zuko has deliberately undermined Azula as much as possible and effectively accused her of committing treason herself, dramatically reducing the probability that she will be able to protect Mai. In fact, Mai stands risk of being accused of being involved in Azula’s effort to “conceal the fact that the Avatar survived,” given Mai’s close association with Azula and her close involvement in the events where the Avatar “died.” She’s thus under danger from two different directions.

“But Zuko had to betray his father and become good through aiding Team Avatar.” Yes, it’s a good thing he did so. But Zuko had other options than the course he adopted. He could have avoided confronting Ozai at all and instead focused on rescuing Iroh(interesting AU idea right here). He could have confronted Ozai but not thrown Azula under the bus, and that alone would have vastly reduced the risk to Mai(and also made Zuko out to be a better person, because deliberately throwing your younger sister under the bus and then abandoning her to the mercy of your abusive father is not a good look). Zuko could have killed Ozai right then and there during the eclipse. He even could have tried to lead Team Avatar to the bunker and tried to end the war right then and there.

“Zuko didn’t understand that he was placing Mai in danger.” Quite possible, but Zuko being so self-centered that he is unable of understanding that his actions can have negative effects on other people is a mark against him, not for him.

Now we turn to the Zuko’s behavior toward Mai in the rest of the third season. Let us start with “The Boiling Rock, Part 1”:

Sokka: (emphatically) I think your Uncle would be proud of you. Leaving your home to come help us, that's hard. Zuko: It wasn't that hard. Sokka: (Cut to a side view of the basket) Really? You didn't leave behind anyone you cared about? Zuko: Well I did have a girlfriend. Mai. Sokka: (He goes closer to Zuko with a surprised look on his face) That gloomy girl who sighs a lot? Zuko: (Cut back to show Zuko grinning goofily) Yeah. (his face turns serious) Everyone in the Fire Nation thinks I'm a traitor. I couldn't drag her into it. Sokka: (Cut back to Sokka who leans back on the basket) My first girlfriend turned into the Moon. Zuko: (looks up) That's rough buddy

There are two things to unpack here. First, Zuko claims he “couldn’t drag her into it,” yet he already did, as I’ve illustrated above. Second, Zuko seems to expect that Mai would have followed him into treason if he asked her, that she would be willing to betray her nation, ideology, family, and friends just for the sake of her love for him. That’s an insane and pretty toxic expectation for Zuko to have for her relationship with him, especially since he wouldn’t do the same for her.

We also get more confirmation that Zuko doesn’t care at all about Ty Lee or Azula.

I don’t have a lot to say about the Zuko-Mai conversation during Boiling Rock, Part 2. The only things I would like to note are that Zuko is not very sorry for what he did, not very empathetic toward Mai’s pain, and doesn’t give Mai a real apology for his actions.

Of course, Mai proceeds to save Zuko’s life through committing treason in front of dozens of witnesses at Boiling Rock, something which places her own life in serous jeopardy. How does Zuko react to this?

Zuko: (Cut to a shocked Zuko) It's Mai. Azula: (Cut to a furious Azula) What is she doing?! (Cut to the backs of Azula and Ty Lee as Ty Lee shrugs and makes a "I don't know" noise. Cut to the gondola as it reaches the outer part of the crater. Cut to the inside of the entrance tower as the door opens and Suki rushes out followed by Sokka, Zuko, Hakoda and Chit Sang. Hakoda turns towards Chit Sang and points to the inside of the gondola. Chit Sang proceeds to throw the warden back in.) Hakoda: (Cut to the back of Hakoda's head looking at the warden lying on the floor) Sorry Warden, your record is officially broken. (Hakoda walks off screen while the warden continues to struggle on the floor. Cut to a front shot of the group as they run up a rocky incline.) Suki: Well, we made it out. Now what? Sokka: (Sokka stops and looks back at Zuko who pauses in his tracks, thinking) Zuko, what are you doing? Zuko: My sister was on that island. Sokka: Yeah and she's probably right behind us. So let's not stop. Zuko: What I mean is she must have come here somehow. (He runs to the edge of the rocks and looks down) There. (Cut to an area looking up at the edge of the cliff) That's our way out of here. (Camera pans down to reveal a Fire Nation zeppelin docked at the shore.

Zuko says Mai’s name once and then abandons her (to die?) with zero hesitation. This is probably objectively the correct decision. It would probably be extremely difficult and dangerous if not outright impossible to save Mai. The prison-break crew do have access to an airship, but it’s difficult to fly an airship over the lake’s thermals.

Yet that’s not my point. Zuko abandons Mai with zero hesitation, with zero anguish, with zero angst. He doesn’t even to seem consider the possibility that he should save her. Something tells me if Iroh had just saved Zuko’s life under identical circumstances and then was in imminent risk of harm, Zuko would act very differently, that Sokka, Suki, and Hakoda would have to drag him off that island.

Zuko’s complete disregard for Mai continues for the rest the series. Remember this exchange from “The Cave of Two Lovers”?

Zuko: (losing his patience) We're not taking any more chances with these plants! We need to get help. Iroh: But where are we going to go? We're enemies of the Earth Kingdom, and fugitives from the Fire Nation. Zuko: (musingly) If the Earth Kingdom, discovers us, they'll have us killed. Iroh: But if the Fire Nation discovers us, we'll be turned over to Azula.

Zuko considers being captured by Azula a worse fate than death!

But do we see Zuko worry once about Mai’s fate? Do we see angst about what might have happened to her? Do we see him make any effort to even discover her fate, much less rescue her?

No. In fact, Zuko launches a sophisticated operation to infiltrate a Fire Nation information center so that he can gain intelligence in order to help Katara murder someone so that she’ll like him, but he doesn’t even consider doing the same to find out about Mai’s fate so that he could potentially rescue her. Zuko doesn’t even mention Mai once after Boiling Rock until the very end of the series finale, even though she sacrificed herself to save him. Remember this exchange(“Sozin’s Comet, Part 3”):

Zuko: Sorry, but you're not going to become Fire Lord today. (jumps off Appa) I am. Azula: (laughs) You're hilarious. Katara: (standing beside Zuko) And you're going down. (The fire sage motions to crown Azula, but she raises her hand, signalling him to stop.) Azula: Wait. You want to be Fire Lord Fine. Let's settle this. Just you and me, brother. The showdown that was always meant to be. Agni Kai! Zuko: You're on. (Katara turns to Zuko, surprised. Cut to a close up of Azula's lips as the curls into a smile. Cut back to Katara and Zuko.) Katara: What are you doing? She's playing you. She knows she can't take us both so she is trying to separate us. Zuko: I know. But I can take her this time. Katara: But even you admitted to your Uncle that you would need help facing Azula. Zuko: There's something off about her, I can't explain it but she's slipping. And this way, no one else has to get hurt. (Fade to a shot of the courtyard from the side. The camera pans from Zuko kneeling on the right end to Azula kneeling on the left end. Cut to a shot of Zuko rising and turning around, then cut to a shot of Azula rising. Each can be seen behind the other. Cut to a shot of Azula from the front turning and removing the Fire Lord robes.) Azula: I'm sorry it has to end this way, brother. Zuko: (in his stance) No, you're not.

Notice something? Zuko doesn’t demand to know what happened to Mai! It’s almost like he forgot she existed!

Now we turn to the final infamous exchange(“Sozin’s Comet, Part 4”):

Mai:(off screen) You need some help with that? (He looks up surprised and moves aside to reveal Mai leaning against the doorway. Cut to a close up of Mai as she walks towards Zuko.) Zuko: (Cut to a delighted Zuko) Mai! (Walks off screen) You're ok. (Cut to an area behind Mai's back as Zuko opens his arms out in a hug) They let you out of prison? (Mai walks behind Zuko and lifts up his empty robe sleeve.) Mai: My uncle (Zuko puts his arms through the sleeve) pulled some strings, (she proceeds to fasten his robe) and it doesn't hurt when the new Fire Lord is your boyfriend. (She walks in front of Zuko and places a hand on his chest) Zuko: So does this mean you don't hate me anymore? Mai: (she blushes) I think it means... (Cut to a close up of the couple) I actually (places a hand on Zuko's cheek) kind of like you. (They lean in for a kiss and part a fewseconds later, looking into each other's eyes happily) But don't ever (She jabs a finger into Zuko's shoulder and Zuko's eye traces the movement of her finger) break up (She lifts her finger into the air and Zuko's eyes still follows it) with me again. (She jabs her finger into Zuko's shoulder one last time and Zuko smiles goofily. They embrace and the camera zooms out slowly.

Zuko seems surprised to learn that Mai is OK, almost like he made no effort to find out her fate once he took charge of the Fire Nation. And indeed, his first acts as leader of the Fire Nation were not to find out what happened to her or, if he actually knew, to get her released from prison. Mai only got released from prison when her uncle and his connections got sufficiently confident that Zuko had been completely accepted as the new leader to release a massive traitor completely on their own initiative. This was quite possibly weeks after Azula-Zuko Agni Kai, yet he made no apparent effort to get her released. It’s almost like Zuko completely forgot about Mai, even though she sacrificed herself to save him.

And, of course, Zuko doesn’t accept responsibility for any of the awful ways he treated Mai, much less apologize to her or offer any guarantee he will behave better in the future. Mai still forgives him anyways, just like she did in “The Beach,” only for Zuko to continue to screw her over. There is something deeply depressing here, as there’s every reason to believe that Zuko will screw over Mai over, devalue her, and disregard her well-being, desires, and interests again the moment it’s convenient for him to do so. He certainly has not recognized that his toxic behavior here is something he needs to stop doing. Ironically, the comics get this right by having Zuko try to use his power as Firelord to order Mai to stay his girlfriend.

Ultimately, Zuko loves Mai and cares about her deeply, yet he still treats her as a tool and acts like she exists to serve him. It reminds me how show! canon Ozai genuinely loved show! canon Ursa, but still used her as a tool and threw her away. Honestly, I doubt 16-year-old Zuko is really ready for any romantic relationship at all, given his often toxic behavior, his trauma, and the incredibly stressful position he’s placed in at the end of the series.

#Azula #Zuko #Mai #Ty Lee #Dangerous Ladies #Ozai #Zuko meta #ATLA meta #meta #Unpopular opinion

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nightfoot · 3 years

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So I’m not a historian, but I just finished posting my medieval AU fanfic that included a medieval trans character, so I thought I’d ramble a bit about some of the research I did prior to writing it. There’s this idea that Western society believed in an absolute binary of men and women until Stonewall happened and introduced Western cis people to the concept of gender not being rigidly set in stone, but that’s just not the case. So here’s a brief overview of some specific cases I found along the lines of “Medieval and early modern people were thinking about gender too.”

The first is the one I think about most often. This is actually a little bit after the medieval period, in the 16th century, but still interesting. There was a person in the little town of Vitry-le-Fran ois who lived as a man. He was married to a woman and worked as a weaver. Tragically, his marriage lasted only 5 months before someone recognized him as “[birth name]” and he was tried and condemned (for the crime of using a dildo). But, he was given the option to go back to wearing skirts and live as a respectable woman. He rejected the offer, and chose to be hanged rather than live as a woman.

I just think about him a lot, and how much I wish he could come to the 21st century and see how the world has changed. He is also the person I always think about when I see the claim that all trans men in history were just “women trying to live with more freedom.” Because if it was only about trying to live a better life, then choosing any life at all would be better than death.

The second story involves another person from France in 1601. Thankfully, his chosen name was recorded - Marin began sleeping with a woman while they were both working as chambermaids in Rouen, but after a few weeks, he told her he was in fact a man, and proposed marriage. Before their marriage, though, Marin was accused of sodomy for being a “woman” trying to marry another women. However, he plead his case and asked for a medical examination, and after a genital exam, the doctor declared Marin had “a hidden but functional penis.” I read this as him being intersex. The court demanded he dress as a woman for 4 years in hope that the situation would clear up, but after those 4 years passed, he was allowed to go back to presenting as male, married his wife, and lived the rest of his life as a man.

This story is interesting because it demonstrated that people in 1601 were ready to accept “huh! sex and gender are complicated! I guess it is possible for someone to change from one thing to another!”

And the reason they accepted this is because of the “one sex model,” the idea that male and female are just two ends of a spectrum and all humans fall somewhere on that spectrum with the potential to shift position. This model is not exactly correct, because they also believed that it had to do with body temperature and that if a woman’s body temperature raised too much she would spontaneously grow a penis, but it is very interesting that 400 years ago, academics realized that sex is much more complicated than “you’re either A or B” but in our enlightened 21st century, we have to argue about that again.

Cross-dressing saints are also common in hagiography. One example is Joseph von Schönau, a celebrated monk who joined the abbey of Schönau in 1187 after a life of travel in Europe and the Middle East. What’s interesting is that during his deathbed confession, when he came clean to the priest about all his other secrets and sins in life, he said nothing about his sex.

There is another story I recall that, for the life of me, I can’t find the source for now. In that one, a saint lives his entire life in an abbey as a man. During his life, a local woman accused him of fathering her child. He could have easily disproved the accusation by explaining that he didn’t have a penis, but instead accepted the child as his and accepted the shame and disdain from his fellow monks. They only realized he couldn’t have been the father after his death.

My next two stories are fictional:

The first is the 13th century French story Roman de Silence. This is the story of a woman whose father needed a son to inherit, so when she was born, he decided to raise her as a boy. Throughout the story, personifications of “Nature” and “Nurture” argue over which of them determines who a person is. Throughout the story, Silence becomes a knight, captures Merlin in a prophecy twist (of the “no man can defeat Merlin” sort), reveals her sex in the end and marries a king. I actually think it’s more interesting to read Silence as a trans woman, despite being what we today would “assign female.” She was assigned male by her father, and grows up feeling conflicted about this.

Silence isn’t an example of a real life trans masc knight, but the story overall is exploring the question, “What exactly is it that makes someone a man vs a woman?” This says to me that Medieval People Were Thinking About This Too, and the idea that man and woman could be more complicated than looking at a baby’s genitals has been around for a long, long time.

My favourite fictional story is Yde et Olive, another 13th century French romance. This one tells the story of Yde, a princess being forced into a marriage she hates. Rather than go through with it, they dress as a man and run away. Over the course of Yde’s adventures, they learn how to fight with a sword, take down bandits, and end up as a knight in a foreign king’s court. The king is so impressed with Yde that he arranges for them to marry his daughter, Olive. Yde confesses to Olive that the marriage will never work because of his sex, but Olive says she doesn’t mind and will keep their secret, which, y’know, #Bi Princess. But someone overheard the conversation! And now the king will have them put to death for same-sex relations! (even though... he’s the one who insisted they marry). Yde prays to God for a miracle, and God responds by magically transforming Yde into a cis man. The day is saved and Yde lives happily ever after as a man with his wife. They have a son named Croissant.

My research mostly focused on transmasc stories, but I have to at least add the suggestion to read up on Choisy, an 18th century French transfem person. She wrote a novel (Histoire) about a child who was raised as a girl with no idea that having a penis meant people would think she was a boy. When her mother eventually tells her that she is “male,” she simply does not believe it. She goes on to marry a Marquis, and realizes she must tell him that she is allegedly male, only for the Marquis to tell her that he is, in fact, "female.” They go on to live happily ever after as a t4t couple.

Anyway, as I said, I am not a historian and this is not academically rigorous, but some interesting stories I came across while researching. I wouldn’t say any of these suggest that trans people were common and accepted by broader society throughout history, but they do show that people over the centuries have been thinking about gender, what it means to be a man or woman, and how the line between those can be blurry. This is far from being a 21st century exclusive discussion.

Unfortunately, hand-wringing hysteria about trans people is also nothing new, because I also came across several instances of medieval writers fretting about the idea of “men disguising themselves as women to sneak into convents and have sex with nuns.” Truly, the world never changes.

Sources:

Ferguson, Gary. "Early Modern Transitions: From Montaigne to Choisy." L'Esprit Créateur 53, no. 1 (2013): 145-57.

Hotchkiss, Valerie. “Clothes Make the Man: Female Cross Dressing in Medieval Europe.” Garland Publishing, 1996.

#trans history

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genshin-impacted · 3 years

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close proximity // Zhongli x Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Notes: gender neutral reader “you”, MAJOR Pining in Zhongli’s POV, touch-starved? Zhongli, domesticity

in the long haul, this would be one part of a(n indulgent self-insert) long-fic where Zhongli finds out that you (adventurer/traveler) have been camping out in the wilderness, so he invites you to crash at his place for an indeterminate amount of time

also, happy birthday zhongli :)

Zhongli thinks that he should have known that welcoming someone so late at night into his home would invite the worst of the gossip. It only grows worse when people see that you continue to come back into his house and that you even have your own key to enter with.

Luckily, the change from your original Mondstadt attire was the decisive factor that allowed you to walk the streets of Liyue relatively unseen, for you are no longer associated with being foreign or wanted by the Millelith. Instead, you are known to be the one that now apparently resides permanently (or so it seems) in Mr. Zhongli’s apartment, and the attention is now directed toward him.

You’ve even suggested that you float down and enter through an unsuspecting open window in hopes of abating the rumors, but Zhongli thinks about the implications of entering in any way other than the front door and saves himself the trouble.

You apologize every time he closes the door on a particularly chatty neighbor, but Zhongli always waves it away. He feels more than justified inviting you into his abode. After all, he has caused you the most trouble, despite what you may think of Childe, with his plans for the harbor. Allowing you to share a space with him is nothing short of a fair trade.

The feeling is only bolstered by the fact that you moved in with only the backpack hauled on your shoulder and nothing else, with Paimon wailing about how good it feels to finally have a pillow to lie on-- much to your embarrassment. (He waves your apologies to this away as well and does not speak of how the bashful expression on your face is rather endearing to see.)

It’s been a few days since the original hubbub, and the rumors have died down after numerous explanations that ‘they are a friend; yes, only a friend, and yes, we are both unmarried and the walls are thin, but you will not need to worry about any unsavory noises, as is routine.’ It’s evident that the nosiest of neighbors believe that he is lying, but he takes his words as seriously as the contracts that bind him.

If anything, the noises that can be heard are the random bursts of laughter or the playful arguments between you and Paimon. If the neighbors expected anything other than this, Zhongli cannot find it in himself to be apologetic because he cannot remember the last time his apartment was filled with so much sound or ever be so lively. The conversations seem ceaseless at times: whether he is sharing facts about Liyue Harbor or the random story he can remember that he thinks you would enjoy or whether you are the ones sharing stories of your own home-- or simply when Paimon asks a question that takes the entire night to explain.

Zhongli likes the way his stories can make you laugh. It sounded sweet on the week's journey to Daudapa Gorge, and it sounds sweeter now in the confines of his home. Sometimes, when your laughter is all spent and your eyes wet from mirth, he sees you look up at him behind a shy smile with cheeks warm from something other than osmanthus wine, and he finds that he cannot stop watching you.

That is not to say that he is lacking in amusement. Paimon herself would be fine entertainment from her ideas and dreams and strange train of thoughts, but with your quick witted humor and easy-going banter, there seems to be no end to his smiles. Even Hu Tao has pointed out that he smiles more during work in the funeral parlor, and that it was, quite frankly, a little weird. Zhongli has no problems not letting that get to him, considering her boisterous demeanor as the head of the parlor herself.

Another unexpected but not necessarily unwelcome change is the domesticity. Zhongli has always had his own routine: wake up at dawn to watch the ships leave the harbor, head over to the funeral parlor if he has been called in, peruse (and if he remembers his wallet, purchase) the new shipments, and come home for evening tea. With your presence, he finds himself waking up to sleepy Paimon and an even sleepier you, cracking an egg over the stone stove to cook breakfast. He eats in the morning now and receives an eagerly given lunchbox for him to take around when he goes to work.

The times in which you leave the apartment differs, just as the time you happen to come back, but you never fail to bid him farewell or greet him when he comes back. You tap his shoulder to call him over for dinner, and you pat his head when you head to sleep.

With you and Paimon, Zhongli gains a new routine-- one that he grows used to at an almost alarming rate, considering how unused he is to change. It’s almost a shame that this is a temporary set-up-- just until the drama dies down when Rex Lapis’ body is finally given its respects, and you can find a place to stay without being afraid of arrest. But as he has learned recently, some things are bound to change, whether he wants to or not.

Which is not a bad thing, per say, he thinks to himself, as he cuts through the onions you have asked of him. If there is anything his time as Zhongli has taught him and of his journey with you, the beauty in many things is that they do not last-- which is why it is ever more important to enjoy it while it does.

“Wow, you really don’t get bothered by the onions, huh.”

Zhongli chuckles, carefully cutting the onions for the stirfry Paimon has requested to eat tonight. He would have suggested eating at Wanmin Restaurant, but a grimace from you when you look at your wallet convinces him to suggest a home cooked meal tonight instead. “It is one of my many talents, it seems,” he says as you put your hands on your hips defiantly.

“You’re going to be cutting all the onions under this roof,” you announce, walking behind him to turn on the stove. “Ack, I can feel myself wanting to tear up just from walking past that. How do you stand that, Zhongli?”

The smell of sesame oil permeates the kitchen nicely when you pour it into the wok, the sizzling a rather pleasant sound to accompany it. “Aren’t you going to tell me where the onions come from?” You ask as he dices the volatile vegetable.

He turns his head ever so slightly at your question, surprised. He prefers to tell you inane, though fun facts and stories he thinks you would be interested in, but he is surprised every time you come to him for things about Teyvat or of Liyuen culture. Though, he would be lying to himself if that does not please him. “Is that something you would be interested in hearing?”

“Yeah,” you say, slightly distracted as you take out the ingredients from the cupboards, “I mean, Paimon and I can never find them in the wild, so I figured it doesn’t really grow naturally… so it must be from a farm?” He sees you wave a wooden spoon in question. “But where? Oh-- by the way, are the onions ready? The wok's ready."

“Ah, the onions are actually grown in the villages north of Liyue Harbor,” Zhongli replies, finishing the last of the dicing on the cutting board. “Though most of farms focus on exporting rice, there are some that farm mainly onions-- which is where you see most of the wares being brought in--”

“Oh shit, I put the fire up too high-- Zhongli, I’m going to grab the onions!”

“Ah, yes, apologies, here--”

He does not realize you are right behind him until he feels your body press against his for a moment, your hair brushing against his cheek as your arm reaches out for the cutting board. He cannot help but feel himself tense, only able to turn his head slightly just to see your face as close as it has ever been to his.

“Sorry, sorry,” you say quickly, taking note of his surprised expression. “Nice cutting-- okay, time to cook--” The moment is brief as you rush to slide the onions off the board and into the flames, if the crackling is anything to go on.

But he finds that he cannot stop thinking about how ticklish your hair was on his face or how warm you were. He remembers the longest embrace in your trembling arms and of your trailing fingertips on his shoulder for a wound that does not exist.

The kitchen is at a comfortable temperature with the stove going on high, but it is by no means hot by any standards. Yet Zhongli feels his ears burn.

“Zhongli?”

He should set the table, he thinks, but for some reason, he feels an ache in a chest every time he thinks of doing anything other than feeling your warmth again.

“Zhongli?” You ask again, shaking him from his thoughts. His hand curls into itself in a moment of panic as he turns around, wondering if his distraction was obvious. If he were not a God himself, he would have thanked the higher beings that you didn't notice. “Sorry,” you say instead, “I interrupted you last time. What were you saying about the onions? Something after onion farms?”

“Ah, yes, ahem,” he starts again. “Most of the wares the Second Life sells is mainly from the villages themselves, and…”

You continue to indulge him as Zhongli speaks about the farmlands of the north and about the mountain trade routes in the east when the two of you set up supper. He tries not to think about the way your fingers brush against his when he passes you a bowl of rice or about the way your bodies press together when you wash the dishes.

(Touch-starved.

He is touch-starved, he finds out much later down the road, when he is able to hold you in his arms without needing to ask. It is why he wishes your hand would linger on his shoulder when you call him to dinner or why he finds himself relaxing at your touch.

Or why he had started hoping that you would never decide to leave.

It seems almost too obvious now, in retrospect, but Zhongli does not mind that he is constantly learning something new about what it means to be human-- not when it means he can finally hold your hand walking down Liyue Harbor and squeeze your hand and feel you squeeze back.)

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin impact imagine #my writing

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aotxfan · 3 years

Text

Snakes in the Garden (Porco)

Summary: Unnamed female character is a spy sent to Marley by the Scouts. Her mission is to extract information from the Jaw Titan. Rated: M (Suggestive themes but nothing explicit)

Long Post under cut.

Nestled away in a quiet business district with the lights turned low and the music a soft hum in the night, she almost believed she had entered the wrong place before she had a chance to look around. The bar was not the kind of establishment she was used to back in Paradis. Unlike the bars back in her island with their loud music and slurring strangers, the Eldian bar in Marley was quiet.

A low song was playing from a live band and the people inside were each speaking quietly to their neighbor. A lifetime of secrecy in a country that despised the blood in their veins had taught each Eldian to be as meek as a dormouse. The Eldians at the bar were painfully aware of the guards stationed nearby and desperately sought to fly under the radar to escape notice.

Her frame lingered by the bar a second longer as her eyes scanned every which way.

This late in the evening, with the moon peeking behind the clouds, there were very few souls around. Most Eldians had retreated inside their homes by now leaving the bar mostly empty. Asides from a few stragglers still trying to squeeze out some last few moments from the night, the place was quiet.

Sliding into a stool at the bar, she bit the inside of her cheek.

Zeke had told her he would be here. According to the Eldian defector, Porco Galliard frequented the place more often than not. Zeke was convinced she would find him here nursing a pint of something at the bar with his head down and his walls firmly up.

Thus far, she couldn’t find him anywhere. She had memorized his photograph before leaving Paradis, had studied him and the other Warriors fervently before making the long voyage, but had, had little luck finding any of them.

The Mid-East War had just ended and most soldiers had returned. Zeke had told her Galliard had returned along with the other Warriors, but she had, had no luck finding him. He hadn’t dropped by his family home yet and his favorite haunts were devoid of his presence.

This bar was the last place she could think of scoping out before giving up. Hopefully he’d show up here and end her one way game of cat and mouse.

Motioning for a bartender, she drummed her nails against the wooden countertop. Being this exposed in Marley made her nervous. The hairs at the back of her neck were almost standing up as she bristled with every stare.

Since she had come to Marley on a spying mission from Paradis, she had been utterly careful on who she talked to and where she went. She never lingered in one area of Liberio for too long and was always sure to keep her head down whenever the Marleyan soldiers walked past.

Being at a bar in plain view and not tucked away in some alleyway was a change she wasn’t sure she liked.

Still, she was growing desperate.

Her orders back in Paradis had been very clear. She was to find the Warriors and approach them. The intel they offered could be valuable and a chance to learn more about their abilities could easily sway things in Paradis’ favor.

The bartender startled her out of her reverie when he appeared and asked for her order. She had no idea what names they used for alcohol here and hesitated as she tried to think of something.

Thankfully, she was spared a chance to answer.

A lone figure slid into the stool next to her and asked for a cocktail she had never heard of in a bored tone. The bartender accepted his order, and she asked for the same in response.

As he left to prepare their drinks, she eyed the stranger next to her.

The young man was tall with blonde hair and an aloof expression on his face. He slumped against his chair as if tired and yawned into his hand. When he moved his arm, she caught sight of a red armband against his black jacket.

Her breath hitched just slightly and she was glad he was facing away from her and paid her little mind.

She had studied each Warrior’s photograph and knew exactly who he was. Porco Galliard. Her target.

Well, I’ll be damned.

She quietly took stock of him as he waited for his drink. He had yet to notice her presence and was preoccupied with picking a piece of lint off his pants. He seemed to have no weapons on him and made no indication of being with a partner or friend for the night. That was good. If he was alone, she would only have to worry about chatting him up and not an acquaintance.

When the bartender returned with their drinks, she saw her opening.

Reaching for hers, she let her hand move just slightly. ‘Accidentally’ knocking into his glass, she jerked her hand to the side and sent it tumbling off the bar counter. His drink splashed all over his pants and sent ice cubes rolling down onto the floor.

He jerked up with a curse, and she jumped up too with napkins in hand.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” She offered him a napkin and widened her eyes just slightly to seem nervous.

“-uck, that’s cold!” He tore the napkins out of her grip and scrubbed them against the front of his pants. Whatever drink had been in the glass had stained the white fabric, and the napkin only made things worse.

Irritated, he jerked his head towards her and she was met with his cold gaze.

“Nice going!” He growled out the words and bit back whatever other insult was forming on his mouth when he saw her shrink back.

She bowed her head and made sure to let him see how her hands shook when she extended another napkin his way.

“I’m so, so sorry sir! I didn’t mean to,” she offered another apology.

Sending a pointed look at his red armband, she made herself shrink in. Stepping into the role of her character, she led the charade fall into place all around her.

In this moment, she was a quiet Eldian girl who was terrified of being reprimanded. Having just spilled her drink on the lap of an Honorary Marleyan, she could only imagine the fall out. Her eyes were wide with fright and her hands shook as more apologies spilled out of her lips.

When his eyes softened at the display, she hid her smirk. It seemed the acting classes she had taken as a child in Paradis had served a purpose after all.

He accepted her apology and waved her away when she offered to give him her drink.

“Ok, I get it. It was an accident,” he sat back down and threw the used napkins away in a nearby bin, “Did you get any on you?”

His voice was still rough when he spoke to her, but her earlier display had gotten through to him. His eyes were no longer cold and she could tell she was chipping away at his walls. If she played her cards right, she could knock them right down the way the Colossal had knocked down Wall Maria in her childhood.

“I’m fine,” she offered him her drink again, “Here. An amend. I really didn’t mean to.”

Setting the glass in front of him, she didn’t give him a chance to reject her again.

Galliard opened his mouth to disagree then shrugged and accepted the piece offering.

“I haven’t seen you before,” he eyed, “Is this your first time here?”

She bit her lip the way she had seen other girls do when they were timid.

“It is, I usually don’t drink.”

He drained his glass in one gulp and motioned for the bartender to give him a refill. Without asking, he also purchased a new glass for her. She accepted him with a thank you.

“What made you come here of all places? This isn’t exactly a place where I would expect someone like you,” Porco asked. He motioned towards the bar to highlight his point.

By now, the live band had stopped playing and started packing their instruments. The last few stragglers were older men with white armbands on their coats looking for some last few moments of peace before returning home to their families.

Zeke had mentioned this bar was mainly for soldiers and men who needed a quiet place to wind down after a long deployment. It really wasn’t the kind of place a young girl like her would frequent.

“I wanted to try this place out. My dad spent a lot of time here before he-”

She cut herself off then and bit her lip again. The silence grew as she hesitated and he seemed to understand the hidden meaning. Her fingers tightened on her glass.

“The Mid-East War?” He eyed her out of the corner of his eye.

She nodded. “Yeah, we got the letter last month.”

His jaw tightened and he set his second empty glass down on the counter top. “Shit. Sorry.”

A gruff sympathy but still a sympathy. She looked away to hide the satisfaction burning in her eyes.

In preparation for the voyage, Zeke and Yelena had offered plenty about Marley and the Warriors. They had each taken the time to teach her about how to act and what to say to cruise under the radar.

It was Zeke who had stressed how to behave with the Warriors to her. He had spoken about each person at length and given her firm instructions as to how to proceed. She could almost hear his voice inside her head now repeating one of his many lessons.

“Galliard is a tough one, but he’s not impossible. He’s prickly like a cactus-huh, guess you don’t know what that is but whatever-it just means he has a harsh exterior. He’s going to be closed off when you meet and will probably not let you in easily if you just approach him. He’s naturally selective with who he surrounds himself with and suspicion comes to him second nature. If you flirt with him or try to get too close right off the bat, he’ll back off from you and assume you’re just another Eldian desperate to marry into Marleyan citizenship. Instead, you have to use his weaknesses against him. He’s still mourning the loss of Marcel. The wound is fresh, and he’ll be more likely to sympathize with someone who he thinks lost family to war too...”

So far, it seemed he had been right.

She let her shoulders droop and thought about her own father. Her real father was buried somewhere under the rubble of Shinganshina. He had died years ago when the Colossal had knocked down the wall and led all the Titans in. She had seen him and her mother get swallowed before running away.

Sorrow filled her and she clenched her teeth together. Beneath the pain there was anger. She let the rage steel her in her mission and reminded herself of why she was doing this.

Marley had destroyed her home and killed her family. She promised she would do the same to it. If Porco was her way to fight back, then she would play him like a song and wield him like a knife.

“Did you return from your deployment?”

She allowed herself to ask him a question. He had been swirling the last few drops of his liquor around in his glass and the ice made a melody as it thumped against the sides.

He shrugged and leaned back in his chair. “Came back some time ago. I was stationed in Fort Slava.”

She let some surprise register on her face although she had known that already. She knew a lot of things about him.

“Then you helped in the victory. I should be the one buying you drinks,” she offered him a soft smile.

Under the dim light, she thought she saw the faintest hint of color on his cheeks.

Unsure if it was her or the alcohol, she slid her second untouched glass his way. When he raised an eyebrow, she offered him a light smile.

“I’m not one for alcohol. Take it.”

He accepted the glass and took a long sip. She hoped the alcohol would make him buzzed. Maybe some liquid courage would help her loosen his lips.

The Jaw Titan had to have some intel she could gather. Compared to the others, his rank was lower since he was still brand new in inheriting his abilities, but he could be useful. Maybe she could use him as an in. Growing close to him might just let her have access to the Cart Titan and the others.

“You’re not going to ask?” His eyes met hers over the rim of his glass.

“Ask?” She tilted her head to the side inquisitively. Yelena had told her the action made her seem more innocent and less deceitful.

It worked. Some of the remaining tension in his shoulders receded and he wiped at his mouth with his sleeve.

“About the battle. All everyone wants to ask about is how the battle played out and what happened. I’m like a personal history book to these people.”

His tone was dry and he glared at the far wall. She stared at her hands.

”Galliard is bitter about Marley and the war efforts. He’s not obedient like other soldiers and will complain and bad mouth the efforts when he thinks no one will hear him. Don’t let that shock you. Just let him vent and make yourself a sympathetic ear, but don’t add anything to the fire. He’s likely to grow even more suspicious if he finds an ally in you so quickly.”

Zeke’s counsel replayed in her mind and she let the silence linger just a second longer than necessary. Feigning a wince, she tapped her knuckles nervously against the counter.

“To be honest, I’m sick of hearing about the war. All of the soldiers that fought with my dad keep writing about the battles he fought in and how brave he was. I could do with a different topic.”

He glanced at her and some of the ire melted away out of his gaze. He grunted under his breath something that sounded like a “good” and shook his head.

“I just realized I never got your name,” he eyed her.

The fake name Yelena had come up for her spilled past her lips easily. It was a common Eldian name that wasn’t likely to raise any suspicions. He accepted it without much thought.

“Porco,” he mumbled in turn.

The last few customers at the bar made their way out the door. She glanced out the window and realized it was almost pitch black. One glance at the bartender, and she realized he was just waiting on them to close up.

“I should probably get going, I start my job tomorrow.”

Porco stood up too and threw some Marleyan bills at the counter. She noticed he had paid for her too.

“You don’t have to-”

“I drank them, you didn’t touch them,” he shoved his hands into his pockets and waited.

She realized he was waiting for her to lead the way, and she finished buttoning up her coat.

“I’ll walk you home, yeah? Liberio isn’t exactly safe for a girl all alone at night,” He didn’t wait for her this time and left out the door in front of her.

She was glad his back was turned. It meant he missed the small smirk that played on her lips.

- - -

Despite the alcohol he had consumed, his steps were measured and easy. She apologized to him for being such a bother and making him walk so far.

He shrugged his shoulders and cut her off.

“I’m headed this way anyway,” he looked away.

He was definitely not headed that way. His family home was a good fifteen minute walk from where they were, but she didn’t say anything. Perhaps it was the liquor on his breath, but the tips of his ears had reddened just slightly.

Some confidence filled her and she ‘accidentally’ bumped their hands together. Withdrawing them with an apology, she caught the way his breath hitched.

Yelena had told her she was beautiful, and that she could use that to suit her mission. Galliard was a man same like any other. He had his weaknesses and a pretty face would help her.

The streets were dark which made her next move easy.

Pretending to trip on an uneven piece of the sidewalk, she let herself collide with his back. He managed to catch her before she could fall face first and his arm wrapped around her waist in surprise. She felt more than saw the way his face burned at the realization that she was now in his grasp.

Feigning embarrassment, she pressed her hand to her mouth and widened her eyes. “I’m so sorry! First I spill my drink and then I almost knock you over!”

She looked away and made her eyes water on command the way she had been taught in acting classes all those years ago. It was her experience that men tended to melt when they saw a woman prepared to cry. Some tears and a quiet sniffle got them to lower their guard down every time.

Porco was no different.

He shook his head and looked away. “It’s okay, you’re fine. Did you hurt your ankle?”

He seemed concerned as he traced his hand down her leg. It was an excuse to touch her, and she was grateful he hadn’t seen the way her eyes lit up in success.

She had him. Hook, line, and sinker.

Still, she couldn’t rush her hand. Zeke had warned her about seeming too eager to get close to the Warriors. They were a close, private bunch and wouldn’t let an outsider in too easily. She had to play her cards close to the chest.

She thanked him for his concern and placed her hand over his. His skin was hot to the touch and his arm tensed in surprise at the contact. He wasn’t used to being touched, yet he didn’t move his arm.

“My house is over there,” she pointed to a random neighborhood, “You can just leave me here. I don’t want you to have to walk all this way.”

He seemed like he didn’t want to leave, and she was smug. She really did have him in her web. Just a little more and he would fall in head first.

“Are you sure?”

He seemed like he wanted her to ask him to stay. Perhaps he was hoping to score her for the night. Maybe he had some pent up stress and figured a pretty girl was a nice way to relax.

But that wasn’t her mission. Her mission was much deeper than just a quick night.

She released his hand and moved away from him letting some formality fall between them. Her smile was polite as she shook her head and waved him off.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry,” she turned away.

She feigned taking a step away from him before stopping. Moving fast, she leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. It was a coy move she had learned worked well on men. It was innocent enough to be dismissed as a platitude, but the way her lips lingered on his skin just slightly could be easily interpreted as interest.

He made a sound at the back of his throat and burned bright red. She moved her head away and offered him a quiet thank you for walking all this way.

As she turned away from him, he called her name.

“Wait. Can I see you again?”

He sounded awestruck and she was glad she had managed to trick him into drinking all that alcohol. His walls had lowered enough for her to sneak her way in like a Trojan Horse.

Lowering her head in a meek and shy way, she gave a polite smile. “Maybe.”

Then, purposefully leaving him wanting, she walked away.

- - -

After that first introduction, it was easy to continue playing him. Working her magic, she played him like an instrument.

The next day after that she arrived at the hospital to check on the returning soldiers. Zeke had forged some paperwork and gotten her a job as a civilian nurse. She assumed it was easy for him to do so since his grandfather had once been a doctor.

She had arrived to her first shift the next day-

Coincidentally when the Warriors were due for their checkup. Porco had frozen in shock at the door when he had walked in and seen her. He had hesitated and asked her what she was doing before she had feigned her own surprise and told her she was a nurse.

The entire time she worked alongside the doctor performing his physical, she had been aware of the looks he threw her. It seemed her little kiss last night was still on his mind. His cheeks were almost a permanent red, and the doctor had to ask him if he had a fever which only made them further redden.

After the check up, he had followed her out into the hallway and asked her to wait for him. He had struck up a conversation and a persona had slipped into place. Now he seemed much more confident than before, and he boldly asked her to get a coffee with him.

She turned him down.

The look on his face was priceless when she expressed her regret that it was unprofessional. After all, she was a nurse and he was a patient. She could get in trouble and lose the job she had just started.

Her rejection was a clever ploy. Just as Yelena had said, some men liked the challenge. He was one of them.

After her rejection, he further fell in to her trap. He continued to seek her out and ask her again and again. He always found some excuse to go to the hospital. He would walk in for the smallest of accidents, a cut he sustained during training or an ankle he swore was swollen despite being able to walk just fine. The doctors and other nurses seemed exasperated when they reminded him that he was a Titan and could heal on his own, but she always made sure to show up for every one of his visits rewarding his efforts.

Finally, when she was confident she had made him wait enough, she accepted his offer.

“One coffee, just one, and you don’t tell my boss, yeah?” She tried to hide her embarrassed smile behind her medical charts.

Triumphant he grinned. “Sure, just one.”

- - -

It wasn’t just one. They both knew it although each of them had their own reasons for thinking there would be more than one date.

One coffee turned into two which then gave way to three until they made it a regular habit to meet at the coffee shop after her shift. She was a pleasant person on their dates and they clicked well. Pretty soon, he was falling fast and she could tell.

It was like magic the way they clicked. They had the same tastes, the same hobbies, the same feeling about the war and Marley. They fit together like a puzzle and clicked so well that she could tell he was falling hard with every date.

Of course, none of it was luck. She knew him like the back of her hand. Zeke had made sure that she knew everything there was to know about him before she had left Paradis. She had studied him as if he were material for a major exam and had memorized everything.

She was his dream girl thanks to repeated efforts to mold herself to his tastes.

Finally, after maybe a month of dates, he bit the bullet. Blushing and showing up to one date with a bouquet of flowers she was certain Pieck had chosen for him, he asked her to be his girlfriend.

Making her eyes water on command, she had thrown her arms around his neck in reply and that was that.

- - -

Once she had managed to reel him in, she scored big.

Having a Warrior at her side was just the thing she needed to collect intel on Marley. Porco trusted her implicitly and thought nothing about telling her about his job. He made offhanded comments about some of the things he did for the military and thought nothing of the questions she asked. In his mind, she was just his loving girlfriend eager to learn more about his day.

She catalogued everything he said and kept a journal of information tucked underneath her bed. When he would leave after a long day together, she’d scribble down new secrets gained and walk towards the rendezvous location.

There, she would bump into a mysterious man on accident and slip the piece of paper from the notebook into his jacket as she apologized. The man, Jean, would pretend not to recognize her as he accepted the intel and would move aside.

Then, she would go about her day as if nothing had happened and be back at her home when Porco had returned from a long day of military training.

Exhausted, he would spill more secrets into her ear and ignore the way she always seemed a little too eager for him to share. Confident in his trust of her, his guard was down and he never put two and two together.

It was a shame really, his trust would only prove his undoing.

- - -

She hit the major jackpot when he forgot his lunch for the day. He had spent the night over and had woken up late. Forgetting to grab something to take with him, he had dashed out the door and left for his military training before she could remind him.

She had waited for him to return for something yet was relieved when she realized he hadn’t remembered. That gave her the perfect opening.

Preparing his favorite dish, the one Yelena had made Niccolo teach her over and over again back in Paradis to make sure she got the flavor just right, she had made her way to the military headquarters.

As a nurse, none of the stationed soldiers gave her a second glance as she walked inside the compound. When she asked to enter the wing where the Warriors trained, the men seemed more hesitant however. Still, a soft smile and some batted eyelashes worked their charm.

It is the weakness of men to consider women weak. They underestimated her ability and let her in easily. Her charm had managed to lower their guards.

They pointed her towards the area where the Warriors trained and let her freely walk there.

Zeke met her at the door. Sweat covered his brow as he panted from the workout he had just finished. He walked right past her as if he didn’t knew her and she pretended not to know him too.

To an outsider, it would have looked just like two complete strangers walking past each other to different destinations. A coincidental meet with nothing out of the ordinary.

However, the outsider would have missed the way Zeke’s hand had pointed to the left behind his back. Without glancing back, he had indicated where she could find Porco to help her in her quest.

She followed his directions down a corridor to the left and was rewarded with Porco.

His back to her, he was talking to some kids with yellow armbands. Warrior candidates.

She recognized them from the files she had memorized in Paradis.

Colt and Falco Grice.

At the sight of her, the eldest, Colt, frowned. “Nurse?”

He tilted his head wondering who had gotten injured and Porco turned. Surprise registered in his gaze for half a second before he extended a hand towards her. Affection replaced the shock and he nodded at her.

“What are you doing here?” He took the offered lunch from her hands, and she saw that he looked like he had been sweating. His face was flushed and he was wearing what looked like a combat uniform. It seemed like they had just wrapped up practice because the two candidates behind him were just as tired.

“You forgot your lunch, so I figured I’d bring you one,” she looked past Porco to the two boys still staring dumbfounded, “There’s plenty for you too, guys. I know how hard you all are working.”

The eldest one stumbled out a thank you as his cheeks flush. His younger brother thanked her with a charming smile.

Porco opened the bag and saw his favorite. His eyes lit up, but he cleared the emotion from his expression when he realized he was still in public. He handed the two boys their share of what was in a clear container then motioned for her to follow him alone down another corridor.

The room he led her to seemed like a break room. There were water bottles set up for the candidates and some tables. He plopped down and motioned for her to join him.

“How’d you know this was my favorite?” He popped a piece of the food in his mouth.

She smiled.

“Lucky guess.”

She was grateful Yelena had made her repeat the recipe until she could do it with her eyes closed. It seemed she had nailed the taste and Porco’s guard had fallen. He’d been letting her in more and more. If she had to guess, he’d become putty in her hands.

“You look tired,” she brushed some of his hair that had gotten stuck to his forehead, “No rest for the wicked? I thought they’d let you all take a break after the war.”

He hummed irritated.

“Nope. The candidates are back to competing. Colt, the oldest kid back there, has his spot set for the Beast Titan, but the other Titans are up in the air. I think Gabi Braun might become the Armored if she keeps it up.”

Gabi Braun.

She let the name flit around her head until she attached information to it. Zeke had mentioned that Reiner might be passing on his titan to his cousin.

Her lips pressed together. She was never close with Reiner back when he and the others were in Paradis. She was friends with Jean and Sasha, but the rest of their friends never truly became hers. That’s why Zeke had selected her for the mission. She was someone the others trusted, but not someone that would be recognized by Reiner the moment he laid eyes on her.

Still, none of this is the information she needed. She tried to think of another way to ask Porco for more intel. There had to be something he knew that Zeke didn’t. Something that can give some insight into what Marley had planned-

The door opened behind them. For a moment, she stilled panicked that it’s Reiner. Her hair color has been changed and cut and her eyes are a different color through the help of contact lenses, but she wasn’t sure the disguise would hold up. He might just recognize her at a glance-

“Pieck?” Porco raised an eyebrow at the new person.

A young woman supporting herself on a crutch hobbled inside the room. She offered Porco a smile of greeting then her eyes settled on her.

Pieck Finger, she realized. She knew a lot about her too. Zeke’s words replayed in her mind.

“Pieck Finger. She’s the current holder of the Cart Titan. Be careful with her. She seems friendly and polite when you meet her, but she’s clever and quick on her feet. She’ll smile at you in greeting all while suspecting you. Don’t be too over excited to be her friend. Just let her naturally come to trust you.”

Pieck’s eyes lit up and the smile that graced her face is rehearsed. Even as the girl grinned and joined them, she could sense that she was being picked apart. Clever as she was, Pieck had already started suspecting her.

“Is this the girl you’ve been going on about?” Pieck called her name and extended her hand.

She introduced herself and gave Pieck a polite smile. She hoped she seemed shy and awestruck. After all, it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for a regular Eldian to be nervous when meeting a Warrior.

Porco ate the last of the food and introduced the two of them. He explained a little bit about how they met and Pieck paid rapt attention. A little too much attention.

She tried not to appear nervous as she felt her gaze. Hopefully she would be able to throw Pieck off her trail. Zeke had offered to help out if she gave the word.

“It’s nice to meet you,” she offered Pieck a warm smile.

Pieck returned it and leaned against her crutch. She seemed exhausted, more so than the others, and she recalled what Zeke and Yelena had informed her. Pieck’s titan moved on four feet. Because she was so used to spending months on end in titan form, returning to walking on two feet was always taxing.

Remembering that her cover was a nurse, she stood. “Are you in pain? I can get some ice.”

Pieck waved her away and eased herself into a chair. Her leg stretched out and she rubbed at her knee. “Getting used to walking on two legs, that’s all. If I had it my way, I’d just crawl everywhere.”

“She would,” Porco scoffed, “She scared the shit out of me the other day. I caught her crawling across the floor. For a second I thought she was an overgrown bug.”

“Ha, ha.”

Pieck turned away from Porco with a roll of her eyes and trained her gaze on her. The little spark of suspicion was there again. Zeke wasn’t kidding when he had said she was clever.

“I didn’t know you were a nurse. You look a little young to have completed the training already.”

The question was innocent and her voice casual. Still, she noted the inquiring tone there.

Porco isn’t someone who let others in easily. If he had suddenly brought in a girl into his life and let her in to the military headquarters, it’d be bound to raise some eyebrows. Pieck seemed suspicious although she wasn’t sure if it was because the girl was naturally slow to trust or if maybe her cover had already been found out.

“My mother was a nurse,” she answered finally, “She taught me some things. I managed to pass my certification with her help a year ago.”

“Was?” Pieck tilted her head and her gaze was now sympathetic.

She’d read Pieck’s file. Pieck had a sick father who she was supporting through the Warrior program. She was partial to those who knew what that was like to lose a parent.

She lowered her gaze to the table and feigned some sadness. “Was. She passed last year. An illness. The doctors refused to treat an Eldian.”

Quiet.

Porco bit his lip and anger burned in his gaze. Pieck had been reminded of her own father and the suspicion that had previously lurked disappeared replaced by empathy.

“I’m so sorry. I know what that feels like,” she closed her eyes, “My dad is ill too. I became a Warrior to help him.”

She nodded her head and pretended to brush away a tear. There came more quiet where no one knew what to say.

Suddenly, from outside, they heard two voices. The first she recognized as Zeke. The next made her tense.

That voice. It had been years, but she could recognize it anywhere. Reiner.

Nervousness clawed at the pit of her stomach. Her disguise was good, but it woud not have held up on closer examination. Reiner may not have been all that close with her all those years ago, but he would have been able to recognize her.

Porco glanced at the clock and groaned. “Looks like we have to get back to training. Do you want me to walk you back to the hospital?”

She shook her head just as Pieck stood up. “No, it’s fine.”

The voices grew closer. She could imagine Zeke trying to lead Reiner away, surely Colt and Falco had told them that the three of them were in there. However, she wasn’t sure she’d be out in time.

An idea sparked in her and she turned to Pieck.

“Sorry, Pieck, is there a bathroom nearby?”

Pieck glanced at her. “Sure, I’ll take you.”

She waved goodbye to Porco and followed Pieck as she limped down the hallway. They passed by a smaller set of rooms where she could see the back of Reiner’s head.

A sigh of relief left her when she realized she hadn’t been spotted by them. Pieck nodded to a door at the end of the corridor and offered her a friendly smile.

“There you go.”

She waved her hand and went back to where the other Warriors were. That time, her movements had been genuine. Whatever suspicion she had, had earlier had been erased. It seemed the little lie about her mother had earned her enough sympathy points to overcome whatever alarm bells had been ringing in her mind.

For some reason, a prickle of guilt had filled her as she bypassed the bathroom and left out a side door.

- - -

Some few days later, Porco had been in bed next to her. His hand had run through his hair and he’d tried to fight off sleep. He had been exhausted, they both were, and he slumped against her frame.

“Staying here again?” She lifted the blanket higher on his torso.

He glanced out the window and saw the dark outside. “Too dark to walk. That’s okay, right?”

She gave him a kiss in response and he smirked into it. He almost looked like he could go for another round, but ultimately his exhaustion won out. Reaching over, he flicked the lamp off and darkness filled the room.

“Goodnight,” she told him. She heard him whisper it back although his voice was muffled through the blanket.

The good thing about exhausting Porco was that he went out like a light afterwords. He fell asleep easily once he’d been tired out and became dead to the world.

She only had to wait a few minutes until his soft snores had filled the room.

She counted to 100 in her mind then stood up. While the information he had relayed to her had still been fresh in her mind, she scribbled it down on her journal. Then, she glanced back to verify that he was still asleep before slipping out into the night.

- - -

Jean waited for her at the usual place. His form overlooked the pier, and he accepted the journal page from her. He he slipped it into his pocket as she leaned over the rail.

“You’re doing okay, right? No one has suspected a thing?” He examined her out of the corner of his eye.

She ran a hand through her disheveled hair and hoped the love bites Porco left on her neck weren’t too obvious. A part of her always filled with guilt whenever she saw them in the morning although she was never sure why.

If he could tell what she had been up to, he did her the favor of not mentioning it.

“He’s not giving me anything really. He knows what Zeke knows and that’s it. Marley isn’t dividing up intel between the Warriors. They’re all briefed on the same thing,” she sighed.

Jean huffed and shoved his hands in his pocket. “You’re telling me. I’m not getting anywhere either. I can’t find the little suicidal maniac anywhere, and I’m sick of following random soldiers around. Maybe there isn’t much intel to be gained here.”

They grew quiet, and she bit her lip. Frustration gnawed at her coupled with something else. It pricked her and filled her with a sense of exhaustion.

It had been weeks and she’d gotten nowhere. Porco had completely fallen for her, he spent every waking moment with her, and Pieck teased him about how much he mentioned her in conversation. However, she hadn’t getting anything out of it. He hadn’t known anything more than what Paradis already knew, and she hadn’t been close enough to Pieck to question her.

It almost felt like all the scheming and lying was for nothing. The thought made her stomach turn.

There’s been a change in her, she knew. She’d been more hesitant to lie. When Porco asked about her mother, wanting to know about how a sick nurse could have been rejected by a doctor, she had felt the lie weigh on her. A mad thought had filled her, and she had almost broken down crying. For some reason, using him just didn’t feel like some exciting secret anymore.

Luckily, he thought her tears were a result of grief for her fictional mother and dropped the matter. Still, that had been close. For a second she had worried she would break character.

“I’m tired, Jean,” she closed her eyes, “Should I just go back to Paradis? It doesn’t feel like it’s worth it.”

Jean examined her and his jaw clenched. “What’s not worth it?”

Being away from home, having to watch every word she said in case she accidentally blew her cover, lying to Porco.

“I just want to go home. Don’t you get homesick?”

Jean sighed and closed his eyes. “I get what you mean. Hang in there, though. You’re doing great so far. You may not have a lot of top secrets to report, but Hange says your information has been really beneficial. They know how many fleets are in the military and where they’re kept. Galliard may not have Zeke’s top secret clearance, but he knows enough. Hopefully he’ll unlock Marcel’s memories soon and give us more.”

She bit her cheek. Porco had only unlocked Ymir’s memories so far, and those hadn’t been useful. He learned some things about Paradis and it’s military, but it wasn’t anything that put them at a disadvantage.

Thankfully, she had never been close to Ymir, so Porco never recognized her from the memories. Her identity remained a secret.

She glanced at the skyline. The stars had been bright and she realized she’d been out too long.

“Gotta go,” she shoved her hands in her pockets, “Before Pock wakes up.”

Jean froze and turns to look at her. “Pock?”

She stopped too. The nickname had just fallen out of her mouth. She could only imagine it was Pieck rubbing off on her.

“Must’ve slipped,” she rubbed her lip.

“Don’t,” Jean’s gaze was a warning in itself, “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

She knew the answer. It was written plainly on his face. His arms crossed and his jaw tightened. She felt like she was being scolded.

“Don’t get too close. You’re a spy not a lover. Don’t forget your place. Once this whole place gets attacked, he’ll try to kill you. If you get too close, you just might hesitate on defending yourself.”

- - -

She realized too late that she should have listened to Jean. After that night, her cover became harder and harder to keep. It seemed like every time she had to lie, the words got caught in her throat. Maintaining her cover became more difficult.

A few days after that conversation, she made her first mistake.

Or, as Zeke would call it, strike one.

It had been nighttime and sleep wouldn’t grace her. She’d stared up at the ceiling running over every interaction between her and the others. Her teeth had clamped on her bottom lip as she realized that she’d let them get too close.

By then, she’d befriended some of the Warrior Candidates. The kids were adorable when they teased Porco about his girlfriend, and she had found herself wanting to make them some sweets as she had watched them train. The idea hadn’t come out of a desire to get intel. It had just sprung up suddenly without cause or motivation.

The thought that maybe she was in too deep filled her with fear. Jean was right to scold her. She felt herself getting too close to the abyss.

Now she wasn’t quite sure if Porco had fallen into her web, or if she’d been caught in his.

Still, she had no time to dwell on it. Suddenly, Porco had jerked up next to her. A harsh gasp left his throat and he clutched at it. Panic rolled off him in waves and he swung himself out of bed.

A nightmare. He’d get those a lot. He often woke up screaming and bathed in sweat.

He bent over the bed as he caught his breath. She flicked the lamp on and called his name.

Wearily, he recovered. His breathing was harsh and some sweat ran down his forehead, but he ambled back into bed. He’d left a water glass for himself on the nightstand and downed it in one gulp.

“A nightmare?”

She ran her hand down his back without thinking about it. The movement had been performed as an instinct. It wasn’t a part of some grand scheme to manipulate him or keep her cover.

The thought worried her, but she shoved it aside.

Porco ran a hand through his face. She knew he hated being seen like this, but he’d learned to trust her. He eased into her touch and groaned.

“My brother. I saw that girl’s memories again. She ate him. I can’t get it out of my head,” he clutched at his temples.

Ymir. He was referring to Ymir’s memories. Ymir had been the Titan to consume Marcel all those years ago. It must have been torture for him to have to relive it over and over again.

“Want to talk about it?”

She knew the answer was no. He would much rather pretend it never happened and curl back into bed. Still, she asked him automatically.

As she predicted, he shook his head.

“Nah, sorry to wake you,” he raised the blanket back over himself and closed his eyes.

“Try to think of the good memories with Marcel instead, yeah?”

She didn’t realize she’d said anything wrong until she felt Porco tense next to her. She blinked for a moment before the color drained from her face.

Marcel

Porco had never once told her his name before. He always referred to him as his brother, but had never given a name.

She supposed maybe she could get him to believe that the names of the Warriors were well known to everyone, but she had already lied before that she didn’t know the other Warriors. She had feigned not knowing who Reiner and Zeke were before in a conversation earlier, so she doubted he would believe she now knew the names of the Warriors from town gossip.

“How did you know he was named Marcel?”

Porco’s eyes scanned her. For a second, there’d been a spark of something suspicious. It looked like he’d been tensing up, and she imagined his natural inclination to be weary of people was rising.

She feigned being nonchalant as she lifted the blanket to her chin. Faking sleepiness, she yawned.

“You call his name in your sleep a lot. Whenever you have nightmares, you scream it.”

She was glad her voice sounded normal because her heart was pounding in her chest. If he didn’t buy that, her cover might be blown.

She could feel him staring at her. The gears were working in his head, and she could imagine the internal battle. He didn’t sleep talk, years of sleeping in the barracks would have given it away if he did, but he wanted to believe her.

Guilt gnawed at her as she realized that he really did want to believe her. He trusted her, cared for her, and told himself that she was credible.

The suspicion faded from his eyes as the love in him won out against the warning signs. He eased back into bed and curled an arm around her waist. Nuzzling into her, he closed his eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t know I talk in my sleep. I hope I don’t wake you.”

She didn’t relax until after his breathing against her neck had evened out. Once he’d slipped into the realm of sleep, she squeezed her eyes shut.

She’d messed up, and the thought filled her with dread. She would have never made a mistake like that before, so why now? Why was it suddenly growing harder to keep the charade going?

She slumped against his form and squeezed her hands into a fist. She needed to be more careful from now on.

- - -

Strike two happened some days later. She and Porco had gone to the pier to watch the kids train. Pieck had been waiting for them when they arrived.

Gabi was competing with Falco for the lead while Udo and Zofia hung back. Pieck laughed quietly to herself as Porco leaned against the rail.

“Think she’ll win?” Pieck asked.

“Doesn’t she always?” Porco responded.

He yawned into his hand. Lately, his nightmares had been troubling him more and more. Between Ymir’s memories and the stress of having lived through the Mid-East War, there was always some vision that tormented him.

“I’m way too tired. I should go get some coffee,” he groaned.

“Get me one too?” Pieck blinked up at him.

“I didn’t offer to buy you one-”

“Buy us some, Pock? Please?” She helped Pieck beg.

Stuck between the two of them, Porco groaned. He fished around for his wallet, made sure he had enough, and scoffed.

“Fine. I’ll buy YOU one, but Pieck has to pay me back later for hers.”

Pieck laughed quietly and called him mean. He offered her a rude gesture as he walked away in search for a coffee place.

Once he was gone, Pieck was quiet once more. The kids had finished and Gabi had pulled through again. Falco dropped down and panted as Zofia and Udo joined him.

“She’s good. I think she’ll inherit her cousin’s titan eventually. The Brauns are really proud,” she leaned against the rail.

“I can’t imagine it’s easy though. Knowing that your daughter or niece is going to take over her cousin. It must be hard,” she rested her chin on her hand.

Pieck sighed quietly. “It is, but being an Honorary Marleyan is worth it. I’m surprised you never joined the Warrior Program. I’ve seen you run and carry heavy boxes. You’re strong and could have made it far.”

She ground her teeth and hoped that Pieck hadn’t caught on to the fact that she had military training. She wasn’t a war nurse, so she wouldn’t be able to excuse why she was strong. Maybe she’d have to let Porco carry a few heavy things in the future. She should let herself appear weaker.

“My parents didn’t want me to.”

Pieck raised an eyebrow. “Your parents missed out on a chance to get citizenship? Why’s that?”

Without thinking, she sighed. “My mother would have hated the idea of me joining the military. She only ever wanted me to be safe. She was squeamish about blood and would have hated imagining me covered in it had she been alive to see it.”

She thought back to her real mother. The woman that died in Shinganshina would have hated that her daughter became a soldier for the Corps. All she ever wanted was for her to daughter to live a peaceful life as a seamstress just like she had been. If she could see her daughter now, she’d be appalled.

Pieck was quiet for a second and a frown crossed her features. She realized too late her mistake and stilled her movements.

“Blood made her squeamish? I thought she was a nurse?” She turned to her and the suspicion that had previously been erased sparked back to life. “And you talked about her in the past tense when you would have been offered to be a Warrior as a kid. I thought she died last year?”

“I-”

Her brain stopped working and she tried to come up with some excuse. She needed lie that would make the suspicion die down. Her thoughts were in disarray and she panicked.

In the end, she never got a chance. Porco returned with three coffees and grumbled about how he was sure the barista over charged him. He passed them out to the two of them and eyed them.

Pieck was still looking at her with weariness, and she’d tried not to let her fear show.

“Did something happen?” Porco gazed at her with concern.

It was Pieck who recovered first. She raised her coffee to her lips and looked away towards where the kids had started running again. She dropped the matter although she was sure she hadn’t forgotten her little slip up.

“Nothing, but I should head back. Don’t forget we have a meeting.”

She waved goodbye and left.

She watched her go and felt dread pool at her stomach. Zeke had warned her to be careful near Pieck. She was clever and would pick up on stuff if she wasn’t careful.

Strike two.

- - -

Strike three came two weeks later. Porto dropped something and searched underneath her bed for it. His hands groped blindly for the item when he suddenly stopped.

Her heart froze in her chest when he pulls out her journal.

He raised an eyebrow and got cocky grin. “What is this? Your diary or something?”

Before she could stop him, he cracked it open.

She dove for it, but he snatched it up and raised it over his head. He was taller than her and he laughed as she jumped. She tried to get to it, but he would only bring it up higher the more she struggled.

“Are you that embarrassed to let me read it? What, is it full of your fantasies?” He laughed.

Panic filled her and she turned on him.

“Give it back!”

Her voice came out harsher than she intended. The fear in her stomach had turned to lead, and her tone sounded cold.

Porco stopped and realized that she was serious. He lowered his hand and handed her the journal back. “Woah, I was kidding. I wouldn’t really invade your privacy like that. You okay?”

She huffed and shoved the journal back under the bed. Her ears burned and she felt like crying from the residual panic.

She had been so close to getting her cover blown. She hadn’t had time to rendezvous with Jean yet, so the previous few notes she’d collected were still tucked inside. If he had read them-

She shivered and turned to him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell,” she let a tear slip down and was grateful when she saw him soften at the sight, “It’s just that I’ve had my journals read before and it’s a violation of privacy.”

She sniffed again and he wiped the tear away. He wasn’t one to openly show affection, but she knew that her tears were a good way to get him to soften. It felt awful to manipulate him in that way, but everything about the mission had felt awful for a while.

“I wouldn’t have actually read it,” he looked away, “I was just messing around.”

She nodded and decided to let the matter drop. Turning away, she offered to make them both dinner.

He accepted the change in conversation and went back to his search for his missing item.

As she left the room, she missed when he calls her name. One of the loose sheets of paper had fallen out of the journal in the kerfuffle. He picked it up to hand it back to her, but she was already gone.

Sighing, he intended to shove it under the bed with the journal when he spotted his name on it. Confused, he unrolled it and glanced at its contents. Inside was a collection of notes regarding troop placements.

Confusion and something cold filled him and he shoved it into his pocket intending to look at it more closely later.

From the kitchen, she missed the way his eyes seemed to darken.

Strike three. You’re out.

- - -

She met with Jean that day and decided to give him the entire journal. The fear of almost being found out had left a bad taste in her mouth. To make matters worse, Porco had been acting off all afternoon. Rather than spending the night like he usually did, he had left mumbling something about a late night meeting with the other Warriors. She hadn’t been sure if he had forgiven her for yelling yet.

Jean took the journal with a raised eyebrow.

“All of it? You don’t want to keep writing notes?” He slipped it into the inside of his coat.

She rubbed at her arms and shook her head. “He almost read it, Jean. I managed to take it in time, but what if he had read it? Our cover would have been blown. I’ve never been that scared before.”

Jean hissed under his breath. He pinched the bridge of his nose and his voice grew cold.

“Be more fucking careful next time! If he had read it, all of this would have been over. You have any idea what they’ll do to you if they find out? What he’ll do to you?”

“He wouldn’t hurt me,” she spilled it out without thinking.

Jean openly gaped at her and she paled.

“I mean-”

“Fuck, listen to yourself. Are you sure you’re not the one wrapped around his finger?” Jean kicked at the pier in frustration, “This is getting too bad. You almost got caught and now you’re in over your head. The last thing we need is you turning coats because you caught feelings.”

“I didn’t!” She hissed it at him and hit him in the arm hard.

She wasn’t sure why she lashed out, but the pent up anger and fear from before suddenly rushed out. She hit him again and hissed into his ear. “Stop doubting me. I’m a soldier same as you. Don’t underestimate me.”

He shoved her arms to the side and pinned them down. His arms held her steady and she was suddenly pinned into his embrace. His gaze burned with rage and a warning.

“Yeah, well act like a soldier. Stop letting him get too close and stop forgetting what you’re here for. Get the intel and that’s it. No more dates or fantasizing. Don’t forget why we’re here and be more fucking careful next time.”

He let her go and she rubbed at her arms in anxiety. “I’m sorry for hitting you.”

“Whatever,” he shrugged off her apology, “Just don’t lose your head. Your life is on the line. Paradis is on the line. Don’t forget that. Don’t let your feelings cloud your judgement.”

She stared after him as he left. Her eyes burned and she felt some tears run down her face. He was right and she knew it.

She was on a mission. This wasn’t a game. Her life was on the line, and her home would pay the price if she failed. This wasn’t some romance novel. If her cover was blown, she was sure Porco wouldn’t hesitate to turn her in.

Her hands covered her eyes and she leaned against the railing of the pier. The wind blew her hair back. She stayed there thinking about everything and how it was all going wrong-

And she never noticed the girl staring from yards away with pursed lips.

- - -

A hand suddenly yanked her into a room, and she almost screamed. The only thing that kept her from shrieking was the hand that clamped her mouth shut.

Someone made a ‘shushing’ sound. Their finger pressed to their lips and she blinked.

Zeke.

She shoved him off shocked. “The hell are you doing? What if someone saw?”

They were in the military headquarters. She came to meet Porco for lunch when suddenly she was abducted.

Zeke had yanked her into some sort office. He shook his head and locked the door. His face was tense.

“We had a meeting earlier in my office. I left afterwords to deliver some paperwork and heard talking when I got back. It was Pieck and Porco. Something happened.”

Dread filled her.

“What?” She breathed out the word and knew what he was going to say before he said it.

“Pieck saw you last night with a man. She told Porco he had you in an embrace. She’s concerned you haven’t been honest with them,” he plopped down on a chair, “Something about your mother too?”

Grinding her teeth, she felt a sense of dread.

Jean. Pieck had seen her with Jean. She felt lightheaded as she realized that. Did she overhear their conversation too or just spot them from a distance? Either way, this was really bad.

“And what did Porco say?”

“He told her she was wrong. Sounded like he was trying to convince himself though. I couldn’t hear more than that because Colt called my name and gave my presence away. Once they heard I was back, they stopped talking. I don’t know what else they know, but I think you’re cover is breaking.”

He seemed irritated as he pushed his glasses up.

“I thought you were more careful? We trained you for months. What happened?”

She ran a hand through her hair. She knew exactly what had been happening and it frightened her. Jean had been right this entire time. This mission had been messing with her head in ways she never imagined. She needed to get out of Marley as soon as possible.

Ignoring Zeke, she opened the door to the office. Taking a step forward, she spotted Porco stalking angrily through the halls. His face was flushed in irritation and he clenched his fists in his pockets.

“Pock?” She called out to him and closed the door behind her. Hopefully, Zeke would get the message and know to stay inside. They shouldn’t be seen together considering they hadn’t formally met before.

Porco stopped at her voice and spun around. Something passed through his eyes, something cold, and she tensed. A fight or flight instinct rose in her. If he’d caught on to things already, this was really bad.

But the moment passed quickly, and his arm draped around her shoulder.

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“Came to invite you to lunch,” she replied.

She tried to steer him away from the room. He glanced behind the door in thought.

A ball of fear sank in her stomach. She’d had no idea that he was outside the hall when she stepped out. Hopefully he hadn’t seen what room she emerged from.

She found herself talking in order to fill the silence. “There’s a restaurant you like around the corner right? We should eat there?”

He blinked slowly. “Yeah, how’d you know? Have I ever taken you there?”

“Pieck told me,” she lied. She didn’t wait for him, she took his hand and tugged him behind her. Her thoughts were buzzing in her head, and she clamped her teeth down on her tongue.

Zeke had been right. She was trained for this mission, so why did she keep making stupid mistakes? At what point did she stop being the confident spy?

As they left, she heard the door open behind them. Zeke emerged fixing the collar of his shirt.

Behind her, she saw Porco turn around. When his eyes landed on Zeke’s retreating figure, he tensed. She and Zeke hadn’t been introduced yet. There was no reason for the two of them to have been in the same room together.

She waited for him to ask, to question, but he never did. Instead, he turned back around and moved in front of her. He let her lead him away to that favorite restaurant of his that she had no way of knowing about. His gaze the entire time was full of distrust, but he never voiced it out.

Still, she felt the widening distance between them and held back her wince. Jean and Zeke were right. Her cover was cracking.

- - -

She waited for Porco to initiate a conversation. The entire day she’d felt the gap between them widening. He felt tense and kept glancing at her almost as if he wanted to gear himself up to ask her something.

But the confrontation never came. Instead, he let her ramble about her day and responded with small snippets of conversation. In the end, they returned to her home and he let her lead him to her room.

When they made love, something felt off. His thoughts were a million miles away from her, and he seemed distracted. His movements felt robotic, and she couldn’t help but notice the walls he’d slowly brought up.

The conversation with Pieck had done a number on him. She knew he was desperate to ask about the mysterious man she had embraced. He also probably wondered about a million other things that didn’t fit, mistakes she’d made that would give anyone pause, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak them out loud. Perhaps he thought that, if he said something, it would make everything more real.

She almost wished he would say something. Even if it meant that her cover was exposed and she had to flee, she figured anything was better than this uncomfortable chasm that had widened between them.

Still, he never said anything. He slept with her the way he had in the past and only ever said her name in the heights of pleasure. Even though he couldn’t bring himself to look at her in the eyes, he kept his mouth shut.

The only time that night that he spoke was when he reached his limit. Groaning as he finished, he presses a harsh kiss to her lips. Then he sounded out something that made her blood freeze.

“I love you.”

Three little words and her world fell apart. He’d never said it before. She never imagined he’d be the type to say it.

As he started to drift off exhausted, she ran a hand through her hair. Her heart was racing, and there was an awful pain somewhere in her chest. She felt like crying but fought it off.

After he’d fallen asleep, she put her head in her hands.

“I love you too, Pock.”

With growing horror, she realized she was telling the truth.

- - -

He didn’t bring it back up again. She wondered if he even remembered saying it. Maybe it had slipped out in a moment of pleasure, and he didn’t really mean it.

She wasn’t sure which alternative she preferred. The one where Porco loved her or the one where he had just said it on instinct in the middle of sex. Both made her feel sick.

The festival came faster than it should. The kids laughed and had fun as they raced from stall to stall.

The Warriors had separated into groups. She and Porco had joined Pieck to walk along the displays while Reiner had gone with the kids. She was glad that Porco in his possessiveness had not wanted them to meet. She wasn’t sure whether Reiner would recognize her or not, and she couldn’t risk it with Pieck around.

Pieck had grown distant. Gone was the friendly girl who smiled and laughed. After seeing her with Jean that night she had been openly suspicious.

The thought made her nervous. Best case scenario, Pieck just thought she was unfaithful. Worse case scenario, however, she knew she was lying about who she was. Still, both options were awful.

“Wanna try those foods over there?” Porco nodded at the booth selling something that smelt spicy and exotic. The name of it was in some language she didn’t know.

“Sure, we can eat them by the music area,” Pieck hummed.

Porco offered to go buy them some of it and left. Left alone with Pieck, she shifted uncomfortably.

Pieck eyed another stand nearby selling some dessert. It was covered in chocolate and strawberries. It looked good and was within their price range.

“We should get some of that too. It isn’t every day Liberio has a festival,” Pieck motioned for her to join.

“Anything catch your eye?” She asked Pieck. The booth had individually wrapped each sweet and had a flavor tag in front displaying the various kinds. There were berries and nuts and a bunch of other little toppings that they could choose from.

“What do you think Pock would like? Does he have any allergies?” Pieck glanced at her.

She thought back to the file that she read in Paradis.

“Nuts, I think.”

Pieck hummed and grabbed the one with nuts anyway. When she gave her a questioning glance, she realized Pieck’s eyes had turned cold. She’d failed some type of test, and she realized it too late.

“Really? Because I saw him eat some walnuts the other day. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure he outgrew that allergy years ago. I don’t know why he would mention it to you now.”

She froze.

The file Zeke gave her must not have been up to date. Some kids outgrew allergies as they grew older. The stupid Marleyan record keepers must not have known to update Porco‘s file once he was an adult.

“Really? I thought he mentioned it earlier,” she tried to sound nonchalant.

It did nothing to help her. This time, Pieck had completely turned cold. Her eyes were harsh and she took a step forward.

“How did your mother really die? Your file at the hospital doesn’t make sense. The name listed under her doesn’t exist-”

“You looked through my file?” Her voice sounded faraway.

Pieck glanced to the side. Porco was returning with the food. Her cold gaze disappeared replaced by something that looked friendly yet false.

“We should join Pock before he eats our share too,” she replied. She slipped a hand around her shoulder and led her away.

She didn’t miss the quiet little whisper Pieck offered her way as they walked. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears.

“Don’t be mad at me for looking through your file. After all, you looked through mine.”

- - -

She found Jean at the rendezvous location that night. She grabbed onto his arm in panic. He startled and his eyes widened.

“What happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

“My cover’s blown. The Cart Titan is smarter than we thought. She’s guessed I’m lying. I need to leave Marley before she tells the military.”

Jean swore.

“Ok, ok, I can send a letter to the Scouts. We can send you back in a few days from now. Just wait until Tybur’s speech. Eren sent a letter and told us he plans to attack Liberio then. Just wait for the zeppelin to pass by. I’ll get someone to send you some ODM gear and you can use it to shoot yourself up. Just play everything normal.”

She pressed her hands to her face.

“Pieck found out. I fucked up. She was already starting to trust me, but then I opened my mouth. I bet she’s already told the others.”

Jean glanced around them. The pier looked empty, but they shouldn’t hang around too often.

“Just relax, alright? As long as the Marleyan soldiers don’t pound down your door, you’ll be fine. Just a few more days. In the meantime, just avoid her.”

He shoved his hands in his pocket and turned to leave.

She watched him go and felt like vomiting. Her mission had fallen apart, and she was terrified of what was coming. Either she would be dragged out by soldiers in the morning, or she would have to wait for an attack that would kill many civilians.

Frightened, she realized Porco would fight in that attack too. As a Warrior, he would be there when his people were killed. Would he realize then that Pieck was right? Realize that she had been a spy this whole time? Would it hurt him the way it was hurting her?

Once upon a time, she wanted to break him and the other Eldians just like they had broken through Wall Maria. She wanted them to hurt as much as she had hurt when her family had been killed in Shinganshina.

But now, with the rage fading to a dull roar and a searing pain in her chest taking its place, she couldn’t help but feel like the only thing she had managed to break was her own heart.

- - -

He was awake when she returned to her home. The lamp light was turned on as she entered the room. He blinked sleepily at her and cleared his throat to rid his vocal chords of sleep.

“Where were you? I woke up from a nightmare and you were gone. You didn’t answer when I called your name,” he eyed her.

She kicked off her shoes under the bed.

“I was getting some water downstairs. Sorry, I didn’t hear you,” she replied.

He didn’t believe her. She knew it when she looked at him. Her hair was disheveled from the wind, her shoes had sand from the pier, and her skin smelt like saltwater. He didn’t believe her-

But he wanted to.

She saw how he closed his eyes and let himself believe her. Every instinct of his warned him that she was lying, surely Pieck had warned him a thousand times too, but his heart triumphed over his brain. He accepted the lie from her and let it cloud his judgement.

Easing himself back into bed, he let out a soft sigh that sounded defeated and pained. Her heart gave a lurch.

“Yeah, yeah, maybe I was wrong.”

As he fell back asleep, she knew he didn’t just mean about her whereabouts.

- - -

Tybur’s speech came before she realized it. Jean had warned her not to stay for it. A day earlier, Yelena had stopped by dressed as a Marleyan soldier and provided her a black uniform and ODM gear. Everything was in place for her escape and Liberio’s attack.

The Warriors had been invited to the speech. It was a grand affair with many dignitaries from foreign nations joining. Porco grumbled as he put on his uniform claiming that he felt like Willy Tybur’s little circus monkey. It was obvious he meant to parade the big and terrifying Eldian Warriors for all the world to see.

She wasn’t allowed to sit with him at the speech which was a relief. The Warriors had their own section separate with the military. As a civilian nurse, her row of seats was far away from his.

They arrived to the locale as more people had started to sit down. There was chatter and buzz as people arrived.

Porco stopped halfway to the Warrior section and ran a hand through his hair. She glimpsed past him and saw the other Warriors already there. Zeke lounged in his seat looking bored while Pieck played with Zofia and the other candidates.

“I’ll see you after the speech, right?”

His voice was quiet, unusual for him, and she wondered if maybe he had a feeling things weren’t what they seemed.

Pieck had pulled him aside yesterday too. Zeke had warned her that they were whispering to each other again. Her cover had been blown wide open. Pieck was sure she was a spy, but hadn’t made a move.

She’s waited for days for the Marley soldiers to come and drag her out kicking and screaming, but no one had shown up. Jean theorized that Pieck was being held at bay by Porco. Maybe he wanted to handle things first before they called in the cavalry.

Still, Porco never confronted her. He just blindly accepted her lies although it looked like his eyes grew more and more suspicious. The way he quietly observed her spoke volumes as to how his trust in her had dwindled.

That hurt more than she would like to admit, and she scolded herself for being such an awful spy.

“Yeah, I’ll see you,” she responded.

She turned to leave, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

“I mean it,” his face was serious, “We have to talk. I need to speak to you. It’s really important.”

She swallowed. Those four little words were never good for any relationship. She supposed a fake one wasn’t any different.

“Yeah, okay.”

Suddenly the black uniform she wore under her large overcoat felt like it was suffocating her. With any luck, she’d be gone before he had a chance to realize she was a spy. She didn’t think she could stomach the look of betrayal that would be on his face when he realized it.

“See you then,” he kept searching her eyes for something but let her go.

“Goodbye,” she responded, “I love you, Pock.”

She meant it as she said it, and her own heart broke into a million pieces. He paused as he walked away and she saw his entire body tense. A look of agony flickered in his eyes for half a second before it was cleared away.

He knew now this was the last time they’d ever see each other. She saw him realize it. All of a sudden, his eyes were opened to the truth. Every warning Pieck had given him had just now hit home.

“I love you too,” he closed his eyes and wished it wasn’t true when he said it, “Goodbye.”

- - -

Yelena’s plan failed. She was supposed to lock Pieck and Porco in a trapdoor to keep them from the battle. However, despite all of her warnings about Pieck being clever, she underestimated her.

Pieck caught on to her and suspected her from the beginning. She warned the Panzer squad right before being led into a trap. Her team was able to rescue them both, and they joined the fight.

Still, it was not her problem anymore. She discarded her overcoat somewhere else and her uniform was exposed. The wings of freedom proudly winked in the night light.

She was a scout, a citizen of Paradis, and she had bigger things to worry about. She buried her emotions down somewhere deep inside and readied her ODM gear.

The zeppelin arrived just as Jean had predicted. She took one final look as Liberio burned and steeled herself.

Her hooks shot up and landed on the blimp. She rose into the air.

As she made her ascent, she caught sight of two Titans at the far end of the area. One was a Titan on four legs with tanks on its back. The other was a Titan with streaming hair and a wide jaw.

They both rose their heads as the Scouts zipped along the sky firing thunder spears in their wake. They saw her lifting herself up on the blimp.

Sasha appeared at the entrance and offered her hand. She took it and let herself get pulled up. As she stood, she turned back down to see the two Titans below.

The Cart Titan was glaring openly, her suspicions confirmed. The Jaw Titan was frozen as his world fell apart around him.

She apologized to him in her head and gave him her back. The rest of the Scouts surged to her and asked her if she was okay. She wasn’t, and tears ran down her face much to their shock.

Behind her, she could hear the Jaw Titan’s agonized roar.

#porco x reader #aot x reader #porco galliard #porco galliard x reader #attack on titan

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midnightsconspiracy · 3 years

Text

Office Romance?

Office Romance? - @midnightsconspiracy

Summary: It's Mouse’s first day in the 21st district. Jay introduces him to the whole team, except you who seems to always be out until you finally meet at Molly’s and completely hit it off

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2193

Requested: Nope but my requests are currently open

A/N: This is my first time writing for Mouse and the longest fic I’ve written, so hopefully everyone likes it! :)

Masterlist

It was Mouse’s first day in Intelligence, it was finally the day that he was going to turn his life around. No longer living in sketchy areas and gaining felonies but instead becoming a legit member of society and working for a reputable institution, the Chicago police department. He had been recommended to the boss by his friend and former military buddy Jay Halstead, who unlike himself, had managed to get a proper holding in society after being discharged from the Rangers. This was finally his chance to show Jay and everyone else who cares about him that he could do something else good with his life and that he was more than just his time in the military.

Meeting Jay outside the district, the two men embrace in a warm hug, briefing saying their hellos and reminiscing on old times before they ascended the stairs. They pasted Sergeant Platt, Jay giving her a small hello in which she ignored and Mouse, despite having only met her once, gave her a polite smile. Punching in the passcode alongside his handprint, he unlocked the door climbing the second set of stairs up to the place he would call ‘home’ for hopefully years to come. Reaching the top Jay paused, Mouse quick to follow his actions.

“Guys this is Mouse, Mouse this is the Unit. That’s Dawson, Lindsay, Olinsky, Atwater, Nadia, and Sergeant Voight’s in his office.” The people in the room all averted their gaze from their own individual work, with Voight even exiting his office to greet him as well, to greet the newest member of the team, all presenting him with a momentary smile, short greeting, or handshake.

“Oh and Y/LN and Ruzek are currently out chasing up a lead right now but should be back soon,” Jay quickly followed up, trying to familiarise his buddy up with as much as possible to make him as comfortable as he could, knowing mouse struggled with rejoining society.

“Ok-k, well it's good meeting everyone, and I hope I can be of assistance to you all,” he mumbled out nervously, he admired Jay and Voight for giving him this opportunity but it still didn’t stop the feelings that they had a level of superiority over him due to their jobs. Taking him downstairs to his own tech room, he prompted Mouse to take a look around to get accustomed to his surroundings.

“What do you think buddy?

“I think it will do the job just fine,” he smiled back to jay reassuring him that he could do this.

“Ok, well if you’re all good I’ve got work to do myself,” Jay announced before turning and leaving Mouse to his own devices, finally leaving him to prove himself worthy.

—————

Mouse’s day was hectic, to say the least. Members of the team were constantly in and out of the tech room or calling him, getting him to give them vital information as quickly as he possibly could. But he thrived in the conditions present, what previously was extreme anxiety when he first entered turned into adrenaline. He hadn’t experienced such a high-intensity situation since his time at the Rangers, but he loved it. The Rangers was the place he felt most at home and alive, but the ‘accident’ had caused him to be honourably discharged. He wanted to be back in Afghanistan with Jay and his other military buddies desperately, feeling as though he had a place there, that he was actually contributing something good to the world, but this would do for the time, this was the best thing for him right now.

From what he could figure out, the unit was dealing with a human trafficking case in which multiple girls were found dead by the Docks, thrown into a container, and starved to death. Pulling up the names of multiple different men, he stared into their eyes as the pictures came up on his screen and felt no remorse for them as he heard each man be dragged into the cage one by one. The team managed to successfully find lead after lead, deciding to either all roll out together or keep sending Ruzek and Y/LN out. It was already about halfway through the day and Mouse still had not met the said people, only occasionally hearing their voices or being told to send them the information he was finding.

—————

As the day further progressed things started to flatline, leads found previously being a bust and nobody seeming to find anything worthwhile. The whole team worked tireless upstairs as Mouse found them the material they needed downstairs. Finally, after an hour of absolutely nothing, Dawson managed to get vital information from a CI and so a feasible lead was afoot. As the others were gearing up and getting ready to finally make some arrests, Jay popped his head into Mouse’s tech cave.

“Mouse I need you to send me the information on Spencer Phillips ASAP,” he was just about to walk out when he turned his head slightly to utter a few final words to his friend,

“And good job buddy, we really appreciate it.” Mouse smiled as he looked up the information for Jay, maybe he was going something good for the world, especially if his dearest friend thought so.

—————

The lead had been successful and two arrests of notable people in a human trafficking ring were arrested. The case was not fully closed, the organisation still up and running, but the perpetrators of the murders were put away to never see a day in the sun again. That was enough for Voight to warrant the members of his team a break to go home, rest and in the younger detective's case visit the local bar, Molly’s. Coming back up to the main room Jay greeted Mouse, patting him on the back for a job well done, he had underestimated his friend, thinking that he may struggle with his job just as he had coped with his anxiety and PTSD after coming back from the Middle East. Walking further into the room Mouse finally got to see the infamous man who had manage to evade his line of sight for the whole working day, Adam Ruzek. Approaching him he finally got to introduce himself.

“Hi, it's nice to finally meet you”

“Yeah, you too Mouse, I feel like I’ve been swept off my feet the whole day, you coming to Molly’s”

“I wasn’t planning to but sure why not?” Mouse had a vague idea of what Molly’s was, Jay sometimes talking about the bar run by first responders, but he was excited to finally see it for himself. Turning to Jay, who was packing his stuff up at his desk, he assumed he would want to go to the bar alongside the rest of the team,

“Molly’s then?” He smirked knowing Jay would never turn him or drinking down,

“Of course.” Leaving the district together, the two guys headed in the direction of the bar relieved to finally get away from work and have some downtime. Unbeknown to them you were in the changing room with Kim chatting away, excited to go for a drink and ready to go upstairs to meet the new tech guy. Little did you know you would be very disappointed when you did so.

—————

Arriving at the bar the men settled into the unit's usual booth at the back of the bar, flagging down Hermann to get two beers so that they could finally unwind from a long day of stressful events.

“The rest of the team should be here shortly, but how was your first day buddy, tell me all,” Jay asked hoping that his friend liked the position so that he could work towards becoming an outstanding member of the community and chuffed that he was working alongside his best friend once more.

“It was good man, I don’t really know what else to say about it. Um..I finally felt as if I was doing something with myself, I felt that adrenaline I missed from the Rangers, but I miss it, the thrill, the relationships, everything really Jay.” Jay sighed not knowing what to say, annoyed at his friend for missing it, he had spent so long trying to pull Mouse out of that bad place, a constant cycle of anxiety, depression, and PTSD, that it hurt him that he wanted to go back. The tense situation was interrupted by the rest of the team arriving, taking up the rest of the room in the booth with Erin snuggling up to Jay and Adam getting up to buy a round for the table. All the usual suspects were there enjoying themselves, except one, you.

You had gone home to shower and get out of your work clothes before making your way to meet the rest of the team for some rest and relaxation, maybe nestling a few beers throughout the night. Making your way into the bar, you passed members of firehouse 51, making small talk with them before moving towards Hermann to get yourself an alcoholic beverage. Thanking him you turned to walk over to your unit's table, spotting an unfamiliar figure in the corner of the booth next to jay, which you could assume was the new tech guy Mouse.

“Christ Y/LN where have you been?” Your partner Adam boomed, already a little tipsy from the two beers he had consumed.

“Sorry I had to go home first, wanted to freshen up,” you smiled amused at how much of a lightweight Adam really was, despite claiming otherwise.

“Y/N this is Mouse, I don’t think you’ve met yet,” Jay interrupted you, drawing your attention away to introduce you to the nervous man beside him. Looking him dead in the eyes, you noticed how attractive he was, you had just presumed that Mouse would be less than average looking considering his measly nickname, but no, the man in front of you was undeniably handsome with a charming smile and deep blue eyes.

“Hi, it's nice to meet you, sorry I didn’t meet you earlier, seems like we were both at the wrong place at the wrong time,” you gave a shy smile, sitting down next to Kevin trying to look confident despite the nervousness you felt inside.

“I-its good to meet you to Y/N, seems like the universe is not in our favour huh?” He stuttered equally as nervous, for what you assumed was first-time jitters, but little did you know it was because he found you equally as attractive.

——————

Throughout the night you continued talking with all members of your unit but especially Mouse. You felt naturally drawn to him, not just because of your attraction but also the stories he told that fascinated you, some from his days in the rangers and other ones from his childhood. By the end of the night, you too had managed to move to sit next to each other, with the members of your unit seeing you hit it off immediately and so pushed you together hoping for another office romance. Completely enamoured by him, you didn’t even notice that the other people in the bar were starting to trickle out slowly and Hermann’s last order was thirty minutes ago. Finally noticing your surroundings after the bartender had called your name and told you it was closing time, you checked your watch noticing the late time. Turning to Mouse you smiled and softly spoke about the revelation,

“I didn’t even realise how late it was, maybe we should get out of here, wait wait! Not like that, well unless you want you.” Noticing what you had said, you shyly smiled hoping he wouldn’t think you were too weird.

“That sounds good,” he cheekily smirked moving out of the booth, allowing you to get out too and heading towards the doors of the bar, saying a brief goodnight to Hermann on your way out. You walked down the street together to where your cars were parked, going at a slow pace, trying to extend your time together for as long as possible. Locating your car you stood next to it as you went to say your goodbyes to the handsome man in front of you.

“Thank you for keeping me company tonight, I really enjoyed it”

“Yeah me too, but I was hoping we could do it again sometime, just you and me?” Completely taken aback you stuttered to think of your response, you weren’t not thrilled about it at all, just completely surprised that he liked you as you did him.

“I’d love to Mouse, give me your phone,” handing you his phone you put your number in, silently hoping he would be one of those guys that actually use your number instead of ignoring it completely. Proceeding to hand it back, you both stood in silence not knowing what to say. But in this situation, no words were needed, only actions. So when he leaned in to place his lips, you gladly reciprocated the affection, wrapping your arms around his neck and deepening the kiss. Little did you know this would lead to a lifetime of desire and devotion.

#chicago pd #chicago pd imagines #chicago pd x reader #one chicago #greg gerwitz #greg gerwitz x reader #greg gerwitz imagines #greg mouse gerwitz

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mooniefics · 3 years

Text

— first impressions

pairing : zeke jaeger / fem reader / reiner braun

word count : 7.5k

tags : sorta fluff (i can’t help myself i love reiner), eventual smut, threesome (f/m/m), situational humiliation, one night stand, spitroasting, drunk + unsafe sex

warnings : nsfw, mild sexual coercion

summary : a chance meeting between you and reiner leaves you enjoying an evening with the warriors upon their much anticipated return from the war. but doing your new friends a favor leads to a night you'll never forget.

— originally posted 12 / 22 / 20 on ao3 —

"reiner! is that really you?!"

you stood quickly from your place at the booth, unable to stop yourself from scrambling up to the small group of soldiers, who were all looking down at you with a mixture of confusion and amusment.

"you didn't tell us you had a girlfriend back home, braun." the dark-haired woman to his right teased, earning a crossed frown from your friend.

"not my girlfriend." he muttered, ignoring their chuckles as he turned his attention back to you, "i haven't changed that much in a few months, have i?"

you sighed, a relieved grin breaking out across your face as he opened his arms to you, gratefully accepting his invitation and squeezing him tight, face pressing into his shoulder. the scent of gunpowder that usually clung to him in his uniform was absent on his civilian clothes, replaced instead with the pleasant smell of fresh linen. "a few months? felt more like a whole year to me."

you stayed cognizant of the people behind him, now exchanging curious glances at the sight of their comrade's affection, the woman who'd initially teased him whispering something to the stern looking man by her side that made his expression crack into a small grin. he pulled away from you after a moment, a soft smile warming his usually sullen features, which dampened at a hand being placed on his shoulder.

"would you care to introduce us, reiner?" a low voice asked, the speaker stepping to reiner's side to get a good look at you.

you instantly recognized the man, face flushing with embarrassment as you scrambled to find your words. "c-captain jaeger! i apologize for interrupting your evening, p-please forgive-"

"nonsense." he said, holding out his hand for you to shake, "and no need for the formalities, feel free to call me zeke."

you clasped your hands gratefully around his, shaking vibrantly much to his amusement. you exchanged names with the remaining three, the tired looking but jovial woman, pieck, insisting that you join them on their night out. seeing as you had already planned to be at the old bar for the rest of the night by yourself, you had no qualms with inviting them all to fill the remaining seats of the booth you'd been occupying before they entered.

"pock here isn't much of a talker," she said after everyone got themselves situated, poking the cheek of the man she'd been whispering to earlier, "he's a little shy, but don't hold it against him."

"i thought i told you not to call me that.." he grumbled in reply, smacking away her hand and earning a small round of laughter from everyone at the table. the freshest face among them, colt, flagged down the barmaiden that was milling about the tavern floor, ordering a beer for everyone at the table with a kind smile.

"this'll be the only one for me tonight." you told him across the table after the woman had sauntered away, "i kinda didn't budget to be drinking more than one beer tonight anyways.."

"don't worry about it." you turned at reiner's voice beside you, gaze flitting down to see him thumbing through the bills in his wallet, "i'll pay for you tonight. my treat."

"nice to see that you know how to treat a lady." zeke quipped with a grin from his place on your left, earning another unreadable frown from reiner, but you could see the flush creeping up on his cheeks as a result of the implication.

before he could dismiss his friend, the barmaiden had returned, toting six mugs filled to the brim with beer on her serving platter. everyone murmured their thanks as she passed them around the table, her eyes lingered on colt before she slipped away to attend to another awaiting party.

"look at you, colt! haven't even been here for thirty minutes and you've already got the ladies swooning." pieck drawled, taking a long sip from her mug with a smile on her lips as she watched the young man stammer out an excuse.

you couldn't help but laugh along at the display, taking a generous drink of your own as you watched the conversation pick up around you. pieck seemed to be more than comfortable with everyone at the table, fueling the majority of the discussion with her playful words. porco, as she'd said, didn't seem to be much of a talker, but nodded along to what the others said, contributing a brief input when he saw fit and staying silent for the rest of the time. colt wasn't naive, but he was easy to tease, the perfect target for little jabs here and there from around the table that drew irritated, flustered protests from him and made everyone laugh.

the dynamic that had intrigued you the most was that between zeke and reiner. they didn't speak directly to the other often, mostly relaying remarks through their responses to the others, but when they did, there seemed to be an odd sort of tension between them. not exactly rivals, but not exactly friends either. they were on the same team, but there was a clear disconnect between them despite that. you felt every slight shift that reiner made when zeke addressed him, debating on whether you should request to move from your place between them for your sake or stay as a buffer for reiner's.

everyone was on their third glass—the only exception being reiner, who was nearly through his fourth—definitely loosened up though not quite drunk yet, but before you could put much thought into how you'd go about doing that, porco spoke to you for the first time. "so, how do you even know reiner?"

"oh! i'd also like to know too!" pieck piped up between sips, downing the rest of her mug in one go and resting her chin in her hands. everyone's attention had turned to you in an instant, intently waiting for your response, making your posture stiffen as you twisted your hands in your lap.

"well, it was a few years ago, when the war with the mid-east had just started ramping up." you began, tensing up the slightest bit when you felt your hand brush reiner's under the table, "i was working at the produce shop down on kaiser lane, and one day reiner came by with his mother on one of her grocery visits, she had always spoken to me about him when i was counting up her total. i asked her if this was son she was always talking about, and she said yes and introduced us. reiner looked tired," pieck giggled at that. "so i tried to hurry it up a little for his sake, and then she paid and they both went on their way. later that day i came here, and i saw him sitting alone at the counter, so i decided to sit down next to him and see if he could put up with my insufferable small talk for a little while. we ended up talking all night, and we've been great friends since then."

"well, isn't that the sweetest thing," pieck smiled warmly at you from across the table, balancing her head on one hand so could pensively drum her fingers across the wood, "if i didn't know any better, i'd say you two made a lovely couple!"

"pieck, would you stop bothering reiner." porco chided, waving a hand at your friend, "just look at him, he looks like he's one more girlfriend comment away from popping a blood vessel."

reiner grumbled out a low 'fuck you', gulping down the rest of his beer and flagging down the barmaiden as the rest of the warriors shared a hearty laugh at his expense. you yourself were similarly blushing at their constant assertions of something more between the two of you. it's not as if you hadn't mulled the idea over in your head many times before on all the previous outings you'd been on together, and the few times the two of you had gotten drunk enough to fool around a bit before one of you came to your senses and excused yourself for the night.

there were some days where you were glad you kept a modest distance between yourselves, and there were others where you wanted to do nothing more than throw all caution to the window and just enjoy one irresponsible night of doing whatever came to mind, no doubts or worries or responsibilities to get in the way, politics and the war be damned. you started to shake away those unnecessary thoughts, but zeke did a much better job of distracting you when his arm fell around your shoulders, giving you a friendly squeeze as he spoke.

"i see that even in good company, my colleagues' manners still aren't up to par," he said, directing his words at you but talking loud enough for anyone to hear, "allow me to apologize on their behalf."

"oh hush, zeke, you're the worst out of all of us!" pieck argued through her laughter, playfully kicking his shin under the table, "you're only playing nice because she's here."

her words didn't draw his attention away from your face, gleaming grey eyes intently drinking in the emotions passing over your flushed features. you laughed nervously, turning away to face the rest of the table, sneaking a glance at reiner as the barmaiden swept by to clean up the empty glasses and replace them with filled mugs. he had an irritated frown drawn across his lips, worry lines creasing his face as he gulped down half of his mug in seconds.

"look's like you're finally not the one overdoing it, huh colt?" you heard pieck whisper into the young man's ear, snickering at him when he turned away from her and huffed.

just glancing around at them all made you forget that everyone of them were living on borrowed time, that in less than a month they would most likely be shipped out on their next assignment to defend marley against any one of the neighboring nations that were just waiting to pounce at the slightest slip up. aside from reiner, they all seemed to be forgetting that fact as well in favor of just enjoying this night while it was still young.

another banter-filled hour passed, your table not noticing how the bar had been steadily emptying as closing time drew near. zeke had kept his grasp around you for the entire time, much to reiner's dismay, which was evident on his face each time you tried to coax him back into the conversation, always faltering each time zeke peered over you to repeat your question to him with a thinly veiled haughtiness. reiner had gone through more beer than anyone at the table, his flushed face and low-lidded gaze along with his slurring words letting you know just how drunk he'd really become. but aside from his borderline unpleasant exchanges with your friend, zeke was incredibly charismatic, almost overbearingly so, your own intoxication making it easy for you give in to his infectious energy and laugh along with him and everyone else at the table.

sure, you were worried about reiner, but he knew that you would always be friends at the end of the day, and you had to make a good impression on these newly introduced people who were so kind as to invite you in on one of their rare leisurely getaways from the military barracks. so you let yourself lean into zeke's side, relishing in the warmth that you'd been craving for so long—a warmth that the alcohol only made you want more and more—the break in your routine that you'd been searching for in an evening alone turning into a night that you were sure you wouldn't forget for a long time. they didn't even seem to care that you weren't an honorary marleyan, or even that you were a lowly blue-collar worker that made a measly sum at her meaningless job on a forgettable street corner.

but alas, the blissfully ignorant fun of the table's atmosphere was dampened by the arrival of the barmaiden with your table's tab, setting it down in front of colt with a coy smile as she gathered up the rest of your empty glasses and disappeared into the back of the tavern.

"aw colt, you never made your move!" pieck chided, giggling as she dug into the pocket of her skirt to reach for her wallet just as everyone else around the table was doing.

"reiner.. are you okay?" you gently nudged his arm, looking over with concern at the sight of him. his elbow was propped on the table, forehead resting in the heel of his palm as he stared down at his lap, mouth drawn into a slight frown.

"shit, he's loaded." porco commented snarkily.

"we can't let magath see him like this!" colt said nervously, looking around at his colleagues, waiting for one of them to come up with a plan to deal with this new issue.

you glanced from colt to reiner, then up at zeke, turning back to everyone as you made an offer. "well.. i have a guest room at my house, he could stay there for the night if it makes things any easier for you all."

"oh, you're an angel!" pieck sighed, reaching across the table and clasping your hands in hers, "and if the commander asks, i could say that he decided to stay with his family!!"

"sharp as always, pieck." zeke chimed from beside you, "though, i don't think it'd be fair to make her watch him all by herself, so i think it'd be best if i help her out with him for the evening, just to be sure he doesn't cause her any trouble."

he met eyes with pieck, and for a moment you thought you saw the briefest flash of realization cross her features, the slightest smirk perking up at her lips before her face relaxed back into its natural smile and she nodded at him. "great idea." she said, tugging at porco and colt's sleeves, "i'll deal with these two, and i'll tell the commander that you had a change of heart as well. reiner, hand me your wallet if you can't count the bills."

"i've got it." he grunted, fumbling with his wallet for a few moments before slamming a fistful of bills down in front of her.

"thank you very much!" she sang happily, getting all the money in order and putting her own small tip for the barmaiden before she slapped colt's arm a few times, prompting him to start scooting out of the booth.

zeke finally retracted his arm to begin leaving the booth, standing out on the floor and offering his hand out to you. you flushed, taking it and allowing him to help you to your feet. everyone got themselves situated, stepping out of the bar and saying their goodbyes, pieck, colt, and porco turning to make their way back to the barracks, zeke slinging reiner's arm over his shoulder and following you along as you gave directions on how to get to your home.

there wasn't many words exchanged between the three of you on your short walk, only having some small talk with zeke between the bouts of comfortable silence hanging around you in the warm night air. you arrived home within minutes, wrestling the key into the old lock and holding open the door for zeke to help reiner in.

"i can walk myself, jaeger." he muttered while kicking his shoes off, earning a low chuckle from the older man.

"then why aren't you doing it right now?"

he didn't get a response as you directed them to your bedroom, hoping to settle him down as soon as you could in the hopes of him being able to get enough rest to sleep off the worst parts of his hangover. while zeke assisted him, you scampered over to the guest bedroom to get it ready for your other, less intoxicated guest. but as you opened the door to the bedroom, you were mortified at the sight of your mess upon looking into the room. in the moment of wanting to do something nice for your friends, you'd completely forget about how you'd basically turned your spare room into more of a storage closet.

looking around to try and think about where to get started, hopefully make it look like you didn't completely neglect this room for the past few months before zeke finished putting his friend to bed, you felt a hand on your shoulder, stiffening in surprise as you slowly turned to look at him.

"i-i'm really sorry, i totally wasn't expecting guests tonight, and i promise i've been meaning to move everything to the basement-"

"don't worry about it, really." he stopped you before you could continue to profusely apologize, offering you another one of those warm smiles that made your knees feel weak, "let me help you, it's the least i could do after you opened your home to a couple of irresponsible soldiers." to your surprise, he brushed past you, picking up one of the many boxes that had accumulated on the bed and floor over the months. "you said you had a basement, right? would you mind showing me where it is exactly?"

unable to find your words, you pointed halfheartedly to the door at the end of the hall, watching him carry one of the few boxes that had left you panting by the time you'd transported them across the house with ease, not even having to set it down to open the door and begin descending the steps. his quick return up the steps finally spurred you into action, hauling another box into your arms and repeating his path of depositing it down in your basement and returning to your room to grab another, making sure to take it slow on your way down the steps from how heavy the alcohol made your limbs feel.

within a few minutes, you both had everything squared away. you let yourself take a seat on the now empty bed, breathing out a sigh of relief and wiping the sweat that had begun to bead around your forehead with the back of your hand, watching as he settled down next to you. "sheesh, you made all that heavy lifting look so easy! and thank you again, for doing such a generous favor for me."

"there's no need to thank me." he replied earnestly, a hand settling on your thigh, making you suppress a small flinch, "you have a lovely home, do you really live all on your own?"

you tried to laugh off the warmth of his hand on your skin through your long skirt. "y-yeah, it's just been me for a while. sometimes friends come over for the night, but for the most part, it's just me."

zeke hummed pensively, grey eyes shining with something dangerous as he gazed down at you. "makes sense that someone such as yourself hasn't found anybody qualified enough to settle down with," he grinned at your flustered expression, openly appreciating the way your eyes widened and you breathed out a soft, indecisive 'thank you', "though, i was so sure that you and reiner had something between you.."

"n-no! it's not like that." the words spilled out of your mouth before you could even think about them, the desire to answer him overriding any clear thought that might cut through your intoxicated embarrassment, "i'm sure s-soldiers such as him and yourself don't really have time to play around with people l-like me."

you mentally slapped yourself for coming to such a conclusion, let alone allowing it to actually exit your brain and be heard by the most esteemed guest you'd probably ever have the honor of hosting.

"oh?" he peered curiously at you, thumb rubbing a slow stroke over your leg, face seeming much closer than it was a few blinks ago, "and what exactly is that supposed to mean?" you knew just how intentional his word choice was, practically setting up a verbal trap for you to fall into, but how could you not take the bait when it was marley's strongest warrior dangling it before you?

"i-i-i'm sorry, s-sir— zeke!"

you scrambled to correct yourself, looking any place except his face and wanting to do nothing more than hide away somewhere where neither him nor reiner could find you to sober yourself up before you could humiliate yourself any further. but you felt the desperation that was now gripping your pounding heart start to squeeze like a vice around it when a rough hand found your chin, gently turning your head to face him again.

"again with the apologies.. what am i going to do with you?"

your bottom lip quivered, more frantic sorries threatening to spill out, but stopped by the lack of air that you were able to take in from his proximity. you hadn't even realized you were holding your breath until you felt a tight ache seize your chest, exhaling an alarmed breath as you stared up into the glinting grey irises studying your face, mirroring their actions at the tavern but containing all of the hunger he'd been hiding in front of his comrades. the hand of your thigh slid up your leg just an inch, zeke breathing out a chuckle at the feeling of you tensing under his touch.

"if you must know," his face was so close that you could even see the pale freckles dotting across his sharp cheekbones and the bridge of his nose, the shadowed contour of his face looking even deeper in the dim light of the guest room, parted lips exhaling a warm breath that fanned across your face, the scent of alcohol still evident as he slowly spoke, "a soldier such as myself can make plenty of time to play around with someone like you."

you couldn't barely contain your awe, drawing in another shaky, shallow breath at the feeling of his lips brushing across your own, just daring you to indulge in his offer. you could barely form a cohesive thought before your brain forced a new topic into your conscious, confusion and shock and abrupt desire drowning out all the rationality that you were so desperately grasping for in this moment.

you'd just met this man tonight, it didn't matter that you'd known of his grand legacy even from when you were a young girl or felt like you'd gotten to know him quite a bit in that short amount of time, you'd only shaken his hand and drank with him and sat face-to-face with him for the first time just a few hours ago. not to mention how the person you were truly familiar with, the one who wasn't nearly a decade your senior, the one you had really been yearning for was just down the hall in your bed, only two shut doors and a few thin walls away from this spectacle. but, zeke was right in front of you, and he was offering out an opportunity that was impossible to refuse—an offer that you really, really didn't want to refuse.

so you didn't. you gave in to the sinful temptation of his warmth, his skin, his soft touches with calloused, work-roughened hands, the knowledge that this kiss was only just the beginning of something unforgettable.

in contrast to his hands, his lips were soft, ridiculously soft as they pressed over yours, the fingers at your chin unfurling to cup the length of your jaw. you leaned into his touch, earning a pleased grunt from him when your trembling hand found his hair, slowly carding through it as you focused on maintaining the easy rhythm of his kiss. you stifled a small sound when the hand on your leg smoothed up to your inner thigh, not pressing any further, just gently stroking and giving the occasional squeeze to the pliant flesh through your skirt.

you could feel the light flutter in your chest heavy and knot into something familiar, twisting deep in your stomach as he sucked at your bottom lip, nipping at it before his attention wandered across your cheek, the hand at your jaw tilting your head up to expose more of your neck to his eager mouth. faint kisses gave way to teasing bites and licks, drawing a soft whimper as he sucked with the intent to bruise where your shoulder met your neck. he seemed to appreciate the way your grasp in his hair tightened, the hand on your thigh traveling across your waist to find the knotted string holding up your skirt.

the progression of his actions felt natural, but almost too fast at the same time, your hand giving an apprehensive tug to his hair when you felt the waistline of your skirt go slack with the undoing of its lacing. he groaned lowly at the sensation, spurring you to do it again when his teeth grazed over the forming redness just right. you could feel the haze of arousal fogged your mind already, all rationale dissipating under the influence of the alcohol and the hands that were now roaming your body, searching for a moment for the top button of your shirt before they began to messily undo those as well. each brush of his fingers across your bare skin sent goosebumps across the expanse of your chest, making quick work of your blouse as he pushed it over your shoulders, guiding your arms out of the sleeves before tossing it aside in favor of working on the clasp of your bra, never pulling away from his place at your neck for more than a moment before returning the bruising attention of his mouth back over the flushed skin.

you breathed out a weak whimper at the feeling of his thumb and forefinger taking one of your nipples between them, bra forgotten somewhere on the floor with your shirt, baring the entirety of your naked torso to him. he could feel how you squirmed when another hand smoothed down your stomach, slipping beneath your skirt's waistline and settling just between your legs, only a sheer barrier provided by your thin underwear, the arousal threatening to soak through the fabric leaving it clinging to every fold. he hummed appreciatively at the welcome surprise, drawing more stifled sounds out of you when his fingers slowly stroked over your clothed cunt.

"all this just for me?" he murmured lowly in your ear, thumb pressing down on your clit, rubbing slow circles over the sensitive nub.

his touch was electrifying, almost overwhelmingly good as you arched into it, the hand at your breast now groping at the supple flesh, palm offering a much-needed friction over your nipple. you finally registered his teasing question, barely managing a disoriented 'mhm' and a small nod, unable to think of anything else besides your heartbeat pounding loud enough that you though he might be able to hear, and the fingers prodded at you and teasing your body as they pleased.

your half-lidded gaze drifted to the door, blinking away the fogginess when you realized it wasn't actually properly shut. you opened your mouth to try and murmur out your observation, but the words in your head spilled out as an incoherent moan, feeling his mouth detach from your bruised neck before he urged you down onto the mattress. but the sight of him standing above you, tugging off his shirt and revealing the impressively toned physique of his stomach and chest, made you forget the ajar door behind him entirely. your hands moved without a second thought, pushing your skirt and underwear down your legs as far as you could, kicking them the rest of the way off as he began to unbuckle his belt.

you couldn't help the way your eyes widened when he shoved down his pants and underwear in one go, unable to choose between focusing your gaze on the smug smirk drawing across his lips or his achingly hard cock, already looking like more than you could handle even at a distance. he plucked his glasses off his face, setting them on the bedside table before he moved over you in bed, your hands tugging him down into a kiss and earning a low chuckle against your lips.

"eager little thing, aren't you?" he only pulled away for a moment to speak, knuckles dragging down the swell of your breast and curving down your waist. your legs spread in anticipation, back arching off the bed when his fingers finally trailed down between your thighs to smooth a finger down your pussy. "and so, so wet."

you squeaked at the intrusion of two thick fingers pumping into you, sliding in easily with a soft, wet sound. the rhythm of your lips faltered, whimpering as his tongue slid between your teeth, tangling with yours, mouth greedily swallowing every desperate sound you made for him. you were grateful for how he was muffling you, just barely remembering that there was another presence in your house besides you and zeke that you had to worry about, heat sparking up your spine at the feeling of his fingers curling just right inside you.

the thought of reiner finding you in here with the captain of his squad, so pathetically obedient and practically dripping from just his fingers, was horrifying and unnervingly thrilling all at once. would he be angry with you? why would he be? what did he even consider you as?

you couldn't dwell on that thought for too long, hips bucking and toes curling when his thumb rubbed firm circles over your clit, wordlessly begging for more. he seemed to be just as impatient as you were in the face of your desperation, pulling away from your lips and removing his touch from between your legs, rolling himself onto his back and tugging you on top of him in one swift motion. you flush even deeper as you watched him drink in the sight of your naked figure, large hands finding your hips, pupils blown wide enough to nearly swallow up the silvery grey of his irises as he eased you down so his cock was just at your aching cunt, offering a sliver of mercy by allowing you to seat yourself onto him as fast or slow as you'd like.

just the first few inches had you whimpering, hands settling on his chest to steady yourself, teeth worrying the skin of your bottom lip, trying to contain the borderline humiliating sounds that were making him grin so smugly up at you. you could feel tears pricking your eyes by the time you finally sank all the way down, deep, shaky breaths giving away your lack of composure even more so than the way the thighs on either side of him tremble, or the nails now digging into the toned muscles of his shoulders. he gave you just a moment of respite, letting you get used to the feeling of something so big before his grip on your hips fastened, fingers sinking into the soft flesh as he began to guide you up and down on his cock.

the low groan your motion earned from him was enough to make your already pounding heart race even faster, heat echoing through you in a way that made it impossible to silence the heated whines that were spilling out of you. the bed squeaked in protest beneath you, but you could care less as you quickened the pace he'd started you at all on your own, admiring the flush that had darkened over his handsome features and the parted lips breathing out low curses and appraising groans.

his eyes fell shut, head falling back before he forced it back up, gaze wandering across your face, then your body, then flitting elsewhere for the briefest moment before they returned to you, hips now thrusting up with even more vigor to meet your own. you moaned openly, struggling out a meaningless string of pleas, the ache beginning to burn in your legs drowned out when he reached out to rub tight, fast circles around your clit. he was grinning now, licking his lips before he spoke in a knowing slur, "you're gonna cum soon, aren't you?"

"yes, f-fuck yes..!" it took you a moment to find your words, embarrassed by how fast he'd managed to work you up to this point but unable to be dishonest in your current position.

his motions didn't falter in the slightest, only seeming to grow more and more urgent as you quivered and whined, bouncing yourself up and down on his cock like it was the last time you'll ever get the chance to do it. and while that's likely the case, you don't care to think about it, too wrapped up in the way you could feel that pressure that had been welling in your stomach finally reach a breaking point, stammered curses devolving into breathless cries as you came hard around him.

you could feel the movement of his hips slow significantly, still rocking up into you to let you ride out your high but not nearly enough for him to push himself over the edge along with you. but you're grateful for his mercy, knowing that if he'd continued at the pace he was going you probably wouldn't be able to walk the next morning. so you took it as a testament to his goodwill, falling forward onto his chest in a whimpering heap, trying to steady your breathing and calm your heart rate, remaining seated on his still hard cock.

you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist, the other resting across your shoulder so he could settle his hand on the back of your head, fingers working their way into your hair and gently carding through it. the attention was comforting, unexpected but definitely comforting as you pressed your face into the crook of his neck, still too hazy off of your post-orgasm bliss to have any shame about wanting to be close to his warmth. you didn't think about whether he was expecting you to get him off at some point, or if he was just content letting you rest on top of him like this, but you soon found that he had a much different answer—or rather, a question—that didn't at all take you into consideration.

"so, reiner, are you just going to stand there and watch all night?"

there was confusion for a brief moment, then a horrifying realization that made an ice-cold fear prick under your spine, blood draining from your face as you felt the fine hairs on the back of your neck raise, completely frozen at the knowledge that the worst of the night you had imagined had come true. zeke's hand didn't stop its slow petting across your head, arm fastening around your body, seemingly in preparation for you to start squirming or fighting to get away. but you couldn't move an inch, not even enough to turn your head and risk a glance at your friend who was apparently right at the door.

"well?" his voice rumbled low in his chest once more, dripping with arrogance, entirely absent of any shame, just tempting him to step past the unseen boundary that had kept him there for however long he'd been watching, "i know, i know, you haven't your fair share all night. it's just so, sohard to let go once you finally get your hands on her. you should know all about that feeling, right?"

"fuck you."

you felt a warm curl in your stomach at the sound of his voice, breathing short and fast as your heart skipped anxiously, but mentally almost enjoying the fact that he was feeling something for you, even if it was some sort of possessive envy. the sound of his heavy, uneven footsteps making their way towards the bed.

he clearly still sounded drunk—who wouldn't be after so many beers in one sitting—and that was probably why he didn't hesitate at all to start tugging his clothes off, the ruffle of fabric and clinking metal of a belt being unbuckled finally snapping out of your compliant state, shaky arms trying to push yourself in bed. zeke allowed you to sit up, hands dropping to your thighs as your foggy gaze wandered from his face over to reiner at the bedside, heartbeat nearly drowning out the other sounds in the room as it drummed loudly in your ears.

"you don't mind, do you?" zeke called your attention back to him, gently stroking up and down your thigh just as he had been when you'd first accepted his offer.

your mouth had gone dry, leaving you struggling to get enough saliva back for your tongue not to stick to the roof of your mouth, feeling the heat of arousal flickering back to life when his cock twitched inside of you. did you mind? well you definitely minded the humiliation, the anxiety taut within your chest that made each breath an effort, the fact that you had no idea what was going on or would happen next. but did you mind enough to force yourself off of him, to struggle to collect your clothes from the ground and stagger out of the room with shaky legs that you weren't sure were capable of doing even that right now? did you really want this?

but it seemed that the choice had already been made in both of their minds, your answer—or lack thereof— speaking for your choice in the matter as zeke's hands lifted you up off of his lap, enough for him to slip out from under you. the sudden emptiness after being so full made you whimper, falling back down onto your calves in the middle of the bed and staring down at zeke's cock, slick with your arousal and still aching to be tended to.

the sinking weight of reiner clambering onto the bed behind you made you exhale a shaky breath, still in disbelief as his hand settled on your cheek, turning your head to face over his shoulder to press his lips onto yours. his kiss was messy but familiar, his low moan making you shiver alongside the feeling of zeke's stare wandering across the display before him. your exchange didn't last long before he pulled away, gazing at you with an unreadable look in his golden eyes for a moment, hand moving to the back of your head to push you down onto your hands and knees.

you obediently complied, met with the sight of zeke's cock once more, peering up to meet his gaze, features showing a mixture of eager expectancy and relaxed pride, just knowing that you were willing to do whatever he asked of you. and he relished in the changes your expressions went through in the next few seconds, the way your eyes widened when reiner's hands grasped your soft hips, how you swallowed thickly to try and get enough saliva down your tongue to get your mouth ready, and finally your mouth falling open and face twisting when reiner eased himself entirely into you in one solid thrust, finding little resistance from how soaked you were. you whimpered out a shaky curse, fists bunching up the sheets under you as he picked up a steady rhythm from behind you, zeke's fingers tangling into your hair and guiding onto your parted lips onto his awaiting cock.

he groaned out at the wet heat of your mouth engulfing him, tongue laving up over the underside of his length as you did your best to take as much of him in as possible without gagging. you wanted to be ashamed of how much you were enjoying the feeling of being entirely overwhelming, fuller than you'd ever felt in your entire life, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said that you'd made a mistake by giving in to the lustful temptations. you could feel your eyes water as zeke hit the back of your throat, your teary gaze and muffled moans against him only seeming to enthrall him further. reiner's hands felt up your waist, one reaching down your front to pinch and roll a nipple between his fingers, driving more stifled sounds and shaky breaths through your nose out of you.

you felt yourself squeezing around his cock, earning yourself a few low, muttered curses as he began to pound even faster into you, evidently approaching his limit just as fast as you are. the hand in your hair was guiding you up and down on the cock in your mouth, the tip of your nose just brushing zeke's stomach each time you surged forward with the momentum of the thrusts from behind you. it was all far too much in the best way possible, vision going hazy at the edges from the lack of proper air you could get into your lungs, insides aching from overusing alongside the tight knotting deep in your gut that was threatening to send you over the edge.

it was zeke that came first, heat pooling over your tongue and spilling down your throat, nearly too much for you to swallow as you tried not to choke. but he kept himself in your mouth and his hand firmly grasping your hair, if not to feel the hum of your desperate whines across your skin then to admire your pathetic expression, half-lidded eyes barely able to hold themselves open enough to stare back at him as you came hard for the second time that night. you could hear reiner give a generous groan of your name, thrusting as deep as he could go just a few times more, having enough sense to not cum inside you, pulling out and making a sticky mess of your trembling thighs.

only after you'd blinked away the glossiness in your eyes did zeke pull himself out of your mouth with a wet pop, holding your head up to appreciate the way your mouth still hung open to gasp in much needed gulps of air, tears and saliva dripping down your chin, halfhearted whimpers still escaping you as you trembled.

"you have good taste, reiner." zeke said, releasing your hair and letting you rest your cheek down against the mattress under you, grabbing his glasses off the side table and putting them back onto his face.

you watched as he stepped off the bed, picking out his clothes from the messy array of garments strewn about on the floor and tugging them on. he fished a handkerchief out of the the pocket of his pants, tossing it at reiner's side and glancing over your body, offering you a lazy smile when he caught your gaze.

"clean her up," he instructed, reaching out to give one last soft touch down your back, "and don't give her anymore trouble, alright? i expect to see you bright and early tomorrow."

you assumed that reiner nodded, since zeke turned without another word and exited the bedroom, making sure to shut the door behind him. for a moment, there was uneasy silence, only occupied by your breaths and the faint sound of zeke pulling on his boots somewhere in the living room and leaving out the front door. you gave a low hiss at the feeling of the fabric smoothing down the backs of your thighs, skin far too sensitive for your liking and legs aching uncomfortably.

you lifted your head up enough to wipe your chin with the back of your hand, eyes and limbs heavy with the desire to sleep. there were no words exchanged as he helped you move to lay down on your back, his face just as tired as he'd looked at the bar, but there was something else weighing down his expression as you took his face in your hands, staring up at him with a soft look of concern.

and though he still said nothing, he kissed you, so much gentler than he'd ever kissed you, with a tenderness that made you want savor this brief moment for as long as you could. but he eventually pulled away, and the brief worry that he might leave just as his captain had minutes before, but he rested down beside you with a low sigh. he didn't protest when you curled into the warmth of his body, head finding a comfortable place on his chest, not even bothering to try and venture out onto the floor to turn off the lamp before you settled down and let your eyes fall shut.

it was easy to fall asleep after he wrapped his arms around you, firm chest rising and falling with steady breaths, heart slow in your ear. you didn't think about the fact that you'd probably wake up alone in the morning, or that walking properly would be a monumental task on its own without even considering going to work to stay on your feet for the entire day—just appreciated this night while he couldn't slip away from you like all the other times before.

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