#the men who stare at goats | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

c-schroed · 1 year

Text

Gosh I Need Movies Like "Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves"!

Frankly, I'm still a bit surprised by how much I love "Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves". I mean, I was very much looking forward to the movie because everything about it just felt right, and I even noticed some fear of disappointment when finally entering the cinema. But it did not disappoint. Gosh, how it did not disappoint.

There's so much for me to love about this movie. To name just three things, it has

a marvelously told story (the exposition was quite nice, but the escape from Revel's End prison really set the stage for that hell of a ride which followed),

a very inspired cast playing absolutely dashing characters (I now have a crush on at least two of the main characters! 😅), and

visual effects and set designs with creativity and attention to detail that I have not seen in what feels like an eternity (the very first shot of Neverwinter already made me want to see this city in all its lovely details).

So yes, I left the cinema as overwhelmed and enthusiastic as I had hoped to be. And much to my personal joy you guys here at Tumblr opened up just another level on which this lovely little movie could excel: I have never played "Dungeons and Dragons" (I know a lot about the mechanics and lore thanks to "Munchkin", though 😅), so reading about how much the movie feels like a true DnD session was very insightful, and it even made me see some of its flaws in a new light.

And then it struck me: "Honor Among Thieves" is that very rare type of movie that I really, really need from time to time. A true feel-good movie whose production process brought people together to tell a special story that usually has already been around in some form before. A fantastic, entertaining tale that can be enjoyed - and I cannot stress enough how important that is - utterly unironically and unapologetically.

The first movie of this type that I remember watching is "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" from 2004, and it has been one of my absolute favorites for a long, long, time. So much energy, and so much fun! But there are more. I'm talking about movies like "The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy" (2005), "The Men Who Stare at Goats" (2009), "Tron: Legacy" (2010), "Real Steel" (2011), "John Carter" (2012), and "Booksmart" (2019). Yeah, that kinda was an advertisement for films I still have a crush on. Sorry not sorry.

The downside of this type of movie, because of course there's a downside: They only seldom make a profit. And "Honor Among Thieves" is not an exception to this rule, having grossed about 125 Million USD worldwide at the box office so far, while costing roughly 150 Million. But you know what? That's fine. Big Hollywood studios regularly make a fortune with mainstream blockbuster stuff that I don't even care to remember after I skipped the advertisement promoting it, so it's only fair for them to make a monetarily stupid decision from time to time that will make me oh so happy.

So, long story short: As long as studios like Paramount Pictures keep making marvellous darlings of a potential (or actual) flop like "Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves", I will not even begin to begrudge the obscene amounts of money they get from too-big-to-fail box office hits like "Top Gun: Maverick".

#dungeons and dragons honor among thieves #dungeons and dragons #honor among thieves #dnd: honor among thieves #dnd:hat #i really love this movie #sky captain and the world of tomorrow #the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy #the men who stare at goats #tron legacy #real steel #john carter #booksmart #top gun maverick #feel good movies #movie review #movie recommendation #schroed's thoughts

33 notes · View notes

nimuetheseawitch · 5 months

Text

2009 was a very specific time, and The Men Who Stare at Goats is a perfect comedy for 2009. A mix of nostalgia for the films the main cast were in alongside the fatigue of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Just the right amount of absurdity. And I fucking love it.

#the men who stare at goats

5 notes · View notes

kenobky · 7 months

Text

i watched the men who stare at goats and besides the movie being completely bonkers all the way through, the jedi references with ewan playing the main character was the worst best thing

#the men who stare at goats #ewan mcgregor #it gets even worse when i say that i normally am into all that parapsychology bullshit #at least in a research sense #great movie #i'm gonna start recommending it to people unironically #txt

2 notes · View notes

nature-in-movies · 2 years

Photo

The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)

#movie #screencap #landscape #dunes #desert #the men who stare at goats

3 notes · View notes

sspacegodd · 1 year

Text

They must have fallen onto this wall from a tree.

#goats #men who stare #tree goats

3 notes · View notes

brandon-wills-blog · 2 years

Text

Cinema, CIA, and the military!

As Top Gun Maverick breaks records at the box office. I would like to discuss a trend I have seen throughout the years in movies.

If you werent aware the Military and the CIA back some movies that come out if it gives them a good look. The Military has backed films in Marvel movies with tax payer paid use of military equipment and jets. The CIA backed movies including The Recruit. So it isn't surprising when movies like Battleship, Top Gun, and Marvel movies were backed by the military. Nothing says, "Join our forces" than a six pack, tan, aviator wearing, smiling gentlemen or young lady in uniform. Doing moves in jets, or standing next to Captain America in The first Avenger movie. Certain movies help boost recruitment during tough times.

But Im here to discuss another trend. A dark history of the military and CIA. Have you seen The Men Who Stare at Goats? or American Made? those are just two movies that make my point! They take a wide range of cast members such as George Clooney, Tom Cruise, Jeff Bridges, etc. They take the dark history of Advanced Interrogation, and put a spin on torture. This allows them to wash away the dark parts of our military with comedic relief! Why? Maybe people wouldnt want to watch a realistic movie about how our own military tortured people and used drugs on them?

Now what about the CIA? There are many positive movies out there like Spy Game that made the CIA look good, but it doesn't want you to see the truth. How the CIA has toppled regimes, countries, and assasinated people just for corporate wealth. Distablizing countries to keep the cost down for products, and paying their citizens a low wage. Now the movie American Made is one of many stories\true events that the CIA helped bring in illegal drugs into our country during War on Drugs. The CIA has helped bring in Heroin during Vietnam, Cocaine through pilots during Reagon Era. It has tested drugs on civilians in different countries, our own military, people in asylums, the list goes on.

Even during Afghanistan War when the Taliban was buring the opiate plants down. The military stept in to protect the fields. Afghanistan accounts for 80 percent for the worlds supply. Sure you will see our Military spent billions to stop the growth because it supplied Taliban with money, but then you will find another article saying Taliban stopped to produce the plant. So which is it?

So the next time you watch a movie about our governement agencies or the military. Look to see if they helped making the film?

#CIA #marvel universe #Marvel #captain america #American made #Military #Top Gun #Maverick #top gun maverick #Darkhistory #History #advanced interrogation #interrogation #cocaine #first avenger #men who stare at goats #the recruit

11 notes · View notes

incorrectlooneytunesquotes · 2 years

Quote

I'm your commanding officer, and I'm ordering you to dance. DANCE, DOGGONE IT!

Commander X2 to Centurions

#marvin the martian #source: the men who stare at goats

8 notes · View notes

buckyalpine · 4 months

Text

Crack drabble, imagine after Bucky gets healed from Wakanda and all that, he moves into the compound with everyone else. Life is honestly pretty good. Except one thing. At first he was going to just leave it but the more he thinks about it, the more its settled.

He's going to do it.

It's the one thing he really misses and its risky given how big the compound is, would Tony really even notice if there was a little 4 legged friend running around? Technically there wasn't a no pets policy in place anyway and it wasn't that different from a dog...not really.

One secret mission and 2 half eaten Henley's later

It wasn't easy. Bucky had to make 3 excuses that were only semi believable when he left and that was the easy part. The hard part was after he returned. Bucky groaned, stepping off the jet seeing that everyone was home, not a single person away for a mission to make his job easier.

"You better be quiet or we'll both get caught" Bucky hissed to his friend who was stuffed into a giant duffle tucked under his arm. He sped right through the living room without giving anyone a second glance, breathing a sigh of relief once he got to his room. He let his friend out, who didn't waste a second skipping over to the bed and hopping on, curling up onto a pillow. "Just like old times, huh" Bucky snorted before showering and going to bed himself.

Of course it was only going to be a matter of time before his secret came to light. Which happened to be the very next day when the stealthy super soldier when down with his new pet for a snack around midnight, his eye growing wide when Sam, Steve and Tony were also munching by the kitchen island.

"What the hell"

"Barnes..."

"Yes?" Bucky blinked innocently as if his friend hadn't made his way over to chew Steve's shorts.

"Is-is that a-

"BAAAA" the little goat blinked up at Tony before slowly walking up to him, letting his head bump against his hand.

"Aww, he likes you" Bucky smiled like a proud parent while the other three men stared at him in disbelief. It didn't take long for Sam to cave, scratching him behind the ears and cooing at him.

"Where did you get a goat"

"Wakanda"

"Oh- wait- YOU STOLE A GOAT FROM WAKANDA??!"

1K notes · View notes

imamcactus · 8 months

Text

TF2 mercers with a reader from the future/our time

So, tf2 canonically happens in 1968. Imagine what it would be like if you got thrown into the late 60s after bumping into Merasmus, who somehow got to our time via some magic shit he did

Slight TW: (serious)mentions of war, political activity throughout the ages (specifically USSR), and mention of racism, (joking)my horrible writing of accents and sayings

Also, the reader in this doesn’t have a specified gender, aside from Scout calling the reader “toots” once

You woke up tied up to a chair in the middle of an empty room

And then 9 men enter room and start asking you all sorts of questions

“Who are you?” “How did you find this place?” “Why are you dressed so weird?”

So you just try to explain that the last thing you remember is going about your day when a weird guy with a with a goat skull on his head did some weird abracadabra shit and now you’re here

The only thing they understood out of all that was weird guy with a goat skull on his head

Spy gets a hold of your bag/purse to look for something like a tracker or a weapon you could have on you (despite your protests) and finds your ID, and looks fairly confused

Slowly, that confusion turned into realisation and slight shock

“Say, ms/mr (Y/N),” The man with a mask on his face starts, tearing his gaze away from the ID card, his brows furrowed and eyes stern. “What year is it to you?”

You stared up at him, slightly confused and uneasy with how seriously he asked that. “Uhh, it’s 2023.” You answer carefully, observing how the rest of the men exchanged looks, each looking more confused than last. The man in a doctor's coat took a look at the ID as well, realisation washing over his face just as fast. “Mein Gott…”

“What?? Why are you all looking at me like that?”

The group stays quiet, disbelief and confusion still in the air, until finally the one in construction helmet speaks up in a southern accent. “Well, I’m afraid you might be over yonder in the wrong day and age, pardner.”

Soooo, you’re in the past

About 50 years into the past

Your parents are not even born yet

After they untied you, you spent the next half an hour just walking back and forth panicking and trying to understand what to do next

The entire time you’re muttering to yourself stuff like “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to get back? Can I even get back?? Has anyone noticed that I’m missing yet? How long have I even been here? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I’m doomed I’m doomed I’m doomed I’m doomed”

Meanwhile the mercers are just looking at you slowly losing your mind

Eventually, the southern on (who told you to call him engineer) broke you out of your little panic circle, proposing that you stay at the red base for a while until they figure out how to help you get back, or until Merasmus shows up again and he can send you back

“Does he hang around here often?” “Well…” “...I’m doomed I’m doomed I’m doomed-”

Nonetheless, you accept the offer (Despite some of the mercers being against this, they’re still vary of you, unsure if you can be trusted or not), and you’ve been chilling with them since, learning about each and every mercer (as much as you can that is, some wouldn’t budge)

Even getting to spend time with them individually

Scout

Scout would most likely be the one of, if not the most, curious about what the future is like

Will ask like 3000 questions at once

“What’s it like in the future? Do flying cars exist? How does bonk taste in the future?” “What is bonk???”

From that moment he doesn't want to know more about the future, the mere knowledge that bonk has been discontinued ruined him

Still thinks it’s pretty cool despite the fact that you don’t tell him much

You know, first rule of time travel, don’t reveal shit

You do give him subtle clues that leave him wondering cause he’s not smart enough to figure it out

“Heyyyy, toots, question. I know you can’t tell me much, but do you happen to know if I get married to certain assistant-” “Scout for the last time I don’t even know you in the future”

Soldier

“Tell me, maggot, is America still the greatest country in the world?” “...I’m legally not obligated to answer that question.”

At some point you do want to tell him about all the shit that America has done over the years and how knee deep in shit it currently is, but you can’t for two reasons

One, the time travel rules

Two, he seems so genuinely happy and proud to be an american that you don’t want to burst his bubble

Expect a LOT of history lessons about America and everything to do with it that you didn’t know about. He will tell you everything

Hey on the plus side, you’ll pass any american history test

Also fun fact, the construction of the twin towers started on August 6th of 1968, he’ll be telling you all about it while you just sit there sweating

Pyro

Does he even know what year he lives in??? I feel like he doesn’t have a proper concept of time because of the goggles

But in all seriousness, I feel like he wouldn’t really care that much about a lot of real life stuff

He’ll most likely just wonder if we figured out how to make cotton candy grows on trees

Honestly, he’s kind of a fresh breath of air to you

He thinks life is just sunshine and lollipops in the future, just like he sees it now, and you just let him live that fantasy, wishing the world actually was the way he sees it

(Aside from the time you saw him on the battlefield. In that moment you wondered if cotton candy really was the only thing on his mind)

Demo

“Aye have to know, did me pa succeed in bombing the Queen of England?” “...Well-”

He’s probably more interested in what assortment of alcoholic drinks you have in the future

You can tell him that much at least, and that satisfies him

When he gets drunk, however, he asks about the rights of black people in the future and if they still face just as much shit as they do now

In that moment, you weigh your options between telling him the truth and tell him that black people still face discrimination but have significantly more rights and are actively fighting for them everyday, or tell him yet again that you can’t tell him anything

you choose to tell him the truth

he is probably the only mercer who you’ve told about the future in such detail

he won’t remember it in the morning, mostly just asking if he said or did anything stupid and laugh off whatever excuse you came up with

And you don’t know whether to feel happiness and relief that you didn’t screw up the future, or feel sad that he doesn’t remember the answer to his question that is probably bugging him a lot

Engineer

One of those who asks the least questions

Don’t get me wrong, this man is very curious and wants to know how the technology evolves in the future

But he also understands that you can’t reveal anything for everyone's sake to not cause a butterfly effect

He has 11PhDs, he can figure that the future might change drastically if you reveal anything that will happen

And you want to tell him everything

All the stuff that we have, even if not as impressive as what he makes for this team, some of the stuff would still leave him surprised

You would show him your phone and how it works on a condition that he doesn’t do anything with this knowledge

He also figures a few things along the way the longer you stay there

Like your surprise that teleportation is possible

Heavy

You wanna tell this man so badly that USSR doesn’t exist anymore

If you are from one of the post soviet countries, he will apologise so much about what his country has done to yours and your people

You’d probably give him a whole speech how what is happening right now is not his fault as he is an anti communist

(Bonus, if you happen to be from one of those countries and know Russian, you’ll most likely sometimes speak in his native tongue)

My personal headcanon is that Heavy most likely spent his free time with people who were deported from their countries to Siberia to labour camps, learning about their cultures and even a little of their languages, so, surprise! He can somewhat communicate with you in your native tongue!

If you’re not from one of the post soviet countries, you still feel bad for the big fellow, especially with what is happening in the world right now

You simply tell him that the system is so flawed it will cause its own downfall. You don’t tell him how or when, but it will

You definitely don’t tell him about the current mess his home land has caused, but you’re pretty sure he would be against it as well.

Medic

Another case of wants to know more, but understands you can’t say much

He’s insane not stupid, he did have a medical licence once upon a time, so there is a smart brain up there

He’d be the most interested in how the medical field has advanced though

But after hearing all about the crazy messed up shit he has done, you tell him there’s nothing interesting in the future that would amaze him

This man has revived people, cut them open while they stay awake and managed to keep them alive when their organs explode, replaced their vital organs with animal ones, created mpreg, has a Spys head in his fridge that is begging for the sweet release of death, figured out how to make people bulletproof, HAS A GUN THAT HEALS UP ANY AND ALL INJURIES

And we’ve done a surgery on a grape and turned a woolly mammoth into a meatball

Yeah he would not be impressed

Maybe by some of the technologies we now have for surgeries and all the possibilities for people to live past their expected lifespan

But mostly no

Sniper

“Is being an assassin still a good job?”

I feel like Sniper wouldn’t really care all that much

Hey, what happens, happens, not his place to do or change anything even if he wanted to

So you two mostly just chill, not having access to the internet has made you appreciate nature more that’s for sure. You can’t check the latest news and how horrible things are in the world, so you just chill without a worry

He once caught you recording a voice message for your friend/family member, thought you were akin to spy after all and was ready to attack

Until he got closer and heard you saying to whoever the message was meant for that you are unsure when you’d be back, if you ever made it back, saying how you’re doing and to take care

After you sigh as yet another message doesn’t go through, he sat down next to you and you two just talked

Since then you two just kind of hang out in the wild

He’ll tell you all about the creature and plants you two happen to see

He’s also smart enough to figure a few things out on his own

“oooh, I’ve never seen this (plant/animal) in real life!” “probably cause at the moment these are endangered, probably won’t see those again when you go back”

And sadly, he’s right almost 85% of the time

Spy

oooooooooh boy

This guy doesn’t want to know what happens in the future for personal gain or to do something about it, no no no, he just wants to get as much of the information out of you as possible for fun

he’s used to the fact that he can get information about anyone and anything, it’s just a matter of a few strings pulled

But the fact that he couldn’t get any information about you (like who you were, where you’re from, your background and family information) drove this usually calm and collected man insane

He doesn’t show it, but it’s there

So he made it his personal goal to get as much info about you and the future as he possibly can

Which isn’t a lot, and that drives him up the wall even more

If you are a vaper and happened to have one on you while in this whole mess, congratulations, you just confused the living shit out of Spy with this refillable cigarette that runs on juice and electricity

Doesn’t understand why anyone would choose …that…over good old fashioned tobacco

Is however amazed by the variety in flavours when you tell him about those

He does smoke menthol cigarettes after all

Admittedly, not my best work out of everything I’ve ever written, but hopefully I’ll post something better soon enough

Also, let me know if you wanna see more story-like scenarios rather than headcanons of this same concept!

#tf2 #tf2 x reader #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 soldier #tf2 heavy #tf2 demoman #tf2 spy #tf2 pyro #tf2 headcanons #team fortress 2

254 notes · View notes

nimuetheseawitch · 5 months

Text

Attack bees.

#the men who stare at goats

0 notes

bluexiao · 2 years

Note

Hello and good day! (≡^∇^≡) I SAW YOUR SCARA AND CYNO REQUESTS POST 😈.. IM HERE FOR POSSESSIVE!CYNO X READER BCZ IT SOUNDS SO .. 😍😍😍😍

—pre-relationship; written before release:); fluff? slightly suggestive

This is pretty long,, i wonder why.

CYNO

He’d deny that he’s possessive, mostly because he had never really experienced the feeling aside from being protective to people that he considered to be special to him.

By “special” means that he cares about them to a certain extent, but not to the point he’d consider them “friends”—does he even have one? Who knows? “Friends” are very difficult to come by considering his role, identity, and personality—one look from his scarlet eyes would be enough to make someone quiver to their knees.

You coming inside of the picture would be a big of a surprise not only to others, but also to him. You whirring up these feelings and making his heart pound like this so constantly—is he sick? Ah, he must be.

He’s sickly in love with you. (Haha just kidding… maybe?)

Well, at first he thought he was, but as soon as he realized—and although highly unlikely at first—that he likes you very much, he didn’t know what to do.

Thankfully, you liked him too, and were the one that initiated most of the romantic gestures, to which he was not used to receiving, but always ends up letting you do them.

Because of this, most people around him or who had seen you do such things would be utterly curious. Why in the world would someone like you like someone like the General Mahamatra Cyno? And that pretty much urged others to be interested in you.

And Cyno noticed them all.

And he knew—he knew very well that he did not have a single reason for him to tell them off, he wasn’t your lover.

But it does bother him.

To see others flocking over you and trying to claim your attention after all the days and moments you’ve spent it with him—unnerving, he thinks.

There was an imminent frown on his face, and even if the intensity in his eyes were high on default, by now, it was even stronger, you swore you could feel it on the back of your head even if you weren’t the one they were directed to.

And that was why you turned around and how you found yourself eye to eye with his scarlet eyes, only for your own to brighten up and ignore everyone else.

“Cyno! You came!” you excitedly hopped his way, eyes glittering and smile as bright as any other sunlight, “with your busy schedule, even! Are you sure it’s alright? I mean, I can wait…”

All of a sudden, the elatedness in your voice turns bashful, even fidgeting with your fingers as you look down at the ground, avoiding his gaze.

He glances at the other men behind you quickly before gently lifting your chin with his fingers, just so you could meet his eyes once again. Unconsciously, he swipes his thumb on your bottom lip, enticed with how you stopped biting them as you stared bewildered at him with those beautiful eyes of yours.

He smiles. Almost grins, even.

“How can I make you wait? It’s our date, after all.”

No one was really aware that you two were dating. And apparently, you too. After all, this was the first time he did initiate taking you on one.

So ever since he had shown clear interest in you, of course, others had backed away. Saved for the other few who was too persistent, but they’re of no match against the General Mahamatra.

Reblogs and comments are very appreciated~

TAGLIST (fill the form to be added/removed)

@catcze @softlybeloved @icecappa @sushiyay @scaraslover @beastielevi @rviden @thesatanofpizza @izayanna @stellumi @coco-goat-milk @nonniechan @m3gitsune @chuubear @kiyoobi @catisnerd @ventislatte @weakestpoint @pinkfeiry @aweebstuff @zhongchi14 @windwheel-aster @irethepotato @squiddaloo @scaramunch @cruxdou @favonius-captain @aqualesha @kazuhas-alphabet @astreankitsune @lordbugs @itsghostgirlyo @his-simp @meumorio @tkooooop @fiona782 @my-goldfish-is-not-gold @lisalanding @ezra0000 @extrakuli @kazu-topia @rayskyee @b1loop @kanattac @basicsofdying @windwheel-aster @serenenation @hadesgift @kazewhara @lilikags @solaaresque @yuremini @chichikoi @mooonluv @cloudysky0 @lunaeire @corlapisminer @hahakoharu @myrenbworks @brazilian-anon @k-a-z-u-h-a @kaeyaheart @irethepotato @disa-ster @hoshikistarlette @astrothighology @sinhasfluffyheadfur @nejibot @myaaki @kaedelove @nejibot @sarahyumiko2 @kaerui-kaisen @loyal-to-my-dilf @yaexure @random-names-stuff @yumekos-gamble @nejibot @emperatris-rinaka @starforecasts @dai-tsukki-desu @xiaogens @stygianoir @the-midnightskies @apricot-shark @genshinparty @katsumikumo @deathkat657 @bl6o6dy @aikochan4859 @q1ngx1n @scaramouchesfootstool @jaynahh @afchicken @theother-victoria @ynxalynx @ksjjkthpjm @nleedingwhiteroses222 @momoewn @mave-in @akinokisetsu @animexotaku @elianalovesu @dolfay @klawsblr @yuipersonalblog @yeonatingz @observation-subject-753 @yuuki4646 @shaneruarumonte-blog @vortxx @1one1person1 @koalaray @noragami-ghost @d-a-r-k-s-w-a-n @duskimoo @maya1-5-0 @csukcsuk @bleedingwhiteroses222 @jiminscarmex @ngwhiteroses222 @apric-t @kiolet-exe @kitsunekanojo @sherlyss @serenity_ren_bliss @yuki1s--note @sunniewrites @fiannee @magica-ren @kissventii @yur1x-1 @psycho-nightrose@monicahar @0Annoying_gemini0 @yeonwoomyheartbelongstoyou @justerica @kazuzux @yukiipc @kltira @vvworlds

#genshin x reader #cyno x reader #genshin cyno #genshin fluff #cyno x y/n #blue's works

1K notes · View notes

nature-in-movies · 2 years

Photo

The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)

#movie #screencap #landscape #moon #night sky #the men who stare at goats

1 note · View note

sspacegodd · 2 years

Text

Messiahs who stare at goats.

#jesus #goats #esp #military #men who stare at goats

1 note · View note

jae-bummer · 10 months

Text

A Kiss for Everyone

Request: Can I have 18 and 5..? With Svt Minghao? And the members invites themselves to the date..? And it’s cute and funny? If you do it! Thank you sm I love you😭🫶

Prompts:

5) "I don't think I've ever seen anyone screw something up that fast before."

18) Going for a day out with your bias when somehow all of the other group members invite themselves.

Pairing: Seventeen The8 x reader

Genre: Fluff

Tucking the rolled yoga mat under your arm, you readjusted your stance, and stared out the window of the studio. Butterflies nosedived in your abdomen, making it nearly impossible to stand still. You took a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth, trying to remember the small tricks Hao had given you to calm yourself down. It was awfully ironic that you were using them now, when he was the reason that you needed to find peace.

It wasn't that you were panicked at the thought of your first date, just anxious about all of the ways it could go wrong. Hao was thoroughly invested in both meditation and fitness, so suggesting a yoga class seemed like the perfect way to marry two of his interests. You weren't sure if he had ever been before, but you assumed it would be something he was good at.

You on the other hand? Maybe not so much.

"I knew I should have paid extra for the baby goats," you muttered, running a hand through your hair. At least if you had done goat yoga, you could play off any mistakes as excitement for being around so many small and furry things.

You checked the time on your phone again before worrying your lip. Only a few minutes until class started and you still hadn't seen Minghao coming from either end of the street. Just as you were about to shoot him a text, you saw his thin frame bobbing down the sidewalk.

Putting on your best smile, you moved toward the door and opened it as he strolled in. Grinning at you in return, he pulled you into a quick hug before letting go. "Sorry I was late, the guys-"

"It's okay," you nodded, immediately wanting to absolve him of any worry. He looked great today (but then again, when did he not?) Dressed in a simple tank top and sweatpants, it was difficult to even maintain focus. He was just that beautiful.

"Jeonghan slept in," he chuckled. "And it started this whole chain reaction of things going wrong. Everyone should be right behind me though."

"Everyone?" you croaked, furrowing your brows. Surely, he didn't mean...

The small bell above the entryway chimed as familiar voices began to flood the small space. You blinked up at Minghao, trying to tamper down the shock flooding your system. "I-I didn't reserve their spots."

"What?" Hao asked, now his turn to grow confused as his friends began to filter in. Their small talk was equivalent to a roar as you felt your body growing hot with embarrassment.

Coming to a stop beside you, Mingyu draped a long arm around your neck. "Heeey."

DK shuffled over as well, trying to assess the looks on both you and Hao's faces. "Y/N?"

"I...I thought today was going to be just us," you admitted, feeling foolish. You couldn't even chance a glance toward the two other men who had inserted themselves in your conversation. It was mortifying.

Minghao's eyes grew wide as he looked from you and then back to all the members.

DK let out a nervous laugh as he patted Hao across the back. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone screw something up that fast before."

"We can leave," Mingyu blurted, unwinding himself from your body.

"No, no," you said quickly, shaking your head. Plastering on what positivity you could, you began to nod instead. "Let me double check and make sure there's enough spots for everyone."

Wandering over to the counter you had checked in at, you could feel your face grow flush before you even started speaking. "Sorry, um...the class that's about to start? You wouldn't happen to have twelve additional spots, would you?"

The girl behind the counter blanched before taking a moment to respond. "I could look?"

"Thank you," you said quietly, glancing over your shoulder. You couldn't help but feel awkward as you watched several of the members surround Minghao, shoving him in the shoulders as the pointed vehemently toward you. Just great, now they all knew you had expected this to be a date.

"Actually," the studio receptionist hummed, getting your attention again. "It looks like we have another class starting in a few minutes that has room for you all. Do you want me to switch you over to that one?"

"Sure, that would be great," you sighed in relief. Placing your elbows on the counter, you dropped your face into your hands and tried to focus on your breathing again.

"Okay," the girl continued. "That's going to be ₩621,981.50."

Lifting your face, you tried not to cringe. While that wasn't the largest amount of money you had ever spent, it was still more than you had expected to pay today.

"I got it," Hao said quietly as his body joined yours at the counter. Looking up, you found him avoiding eye contact and gnawing at the skin on the side of his thumb.

"No, really," you tried, trying to salvage any chance at normality. "I invited you guys out here, let me pay."

"No, Y/N," he asserted. "You invited me. Then I was the one who went and fumbled the situation. Badly."

Sliding his card across the counter, he moved to face you. Leaning against the edge of the tabletop, he looked at you directly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," you grimaced. It was hard to meet his eyes. "I should have told you I expected it...that I wanted it to be..."

"A date?" he finished, lifting a brow.

"A date," you repeated numbly. How horrifying was it that you had to admit it out loud?

After a moment of silence, Hao cleared his throat. "It can still be a date."

"You don't have to humor me," you groaned, still avoiding eye contact.

"Y/N," he murmured. "Please look at me."

Moodily acquiescing, your eyes found his.

"If I had realized this was meant to be something special for just the two of us," he said slowly. "You know I would have been more than okay with that, right?"

"I just thought..."

"Looking back, you did everything right," he said, nodding encouragingly. "I was the one who obviously thought there was no universe in which you would actually want to go on a date with me."

"What?"

"I'm weird, Y/N," he chuckled. "Good looking, but weird."

"Hao," you choked out on a laugh. "At least you're self-aware?"

Breaking into a wide smile, he reached up to rub his hand along your arm. "I'll make this up to you. I promise."

Inhaling deeply, you gave a short nod. It was hard to maintain your cool when he finally set the record straight. He did want to go on a date, he just didn't realize that you had wanted that as well.

Bringing you into his side for a quick hug, his hands lingered on your lower back when you pulled away again. Cutting your eyes toward him, you tried not to spontaneously combust as he licked his lips.

"Sir?" the girl behind the counter asked, waving Hao's card in the air. "You can move to Studio 3 now."

"Oh my god, it's fucking goats," Vernon called over his shoulder, stumbling into the room first.

Minghao looked toward you, an alarmed expression clear on his face.

"They're babies!" Dino gasped, surging forward to cuddle one of the small goats roaming the room.

"What happens if they poop?" Seungkwan muttered, side eying the members closest to him. "Specifically, on us?"

"A little goat poop never hurt anyone," Seungcheol chuckled, somehow already holding a goat and allowing it to lick his chin.

"Did you originally book us for this?" Minghao whispered, his breath hot on your ear.

Trying to ignore the shiver caused by his proximity, you shrugged. "Nope, I didn't spring for goat yoga...but apparently you did."

"Perfect," he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. "I did not foresee any of the events today coming to fruition."

Sliding his fingers between yours, he gave them a small squeeze. Motioning to the room with his free hand, he grimaced. "Thank you for dealing with...all of this."

You looked out at the boys who had joined you today, settling themselves on their chosen yoga mats. Their wide smiles and laughter were enough to turn your mood from disappointment to something significantly warmer. Seeing them this happy made your heart feel like it could burst.

"While both the goats and the guys were a surprise," you nodded. "It's definitely become a welcome one."

"Oh?" Hao smirked. "Sooo I don't have to make it up to you after all?"

"Now I never said that," you giggled.

"Fine," he said, giving a dramatic eye roll. "I guess I was looking forward to making it up to you anyway."

"This is the best date I've ever been on," DK cried. Laying on his back and covered by baby goats, you thought he would simply explode from happiness.

"More like the best day of my life!" Jun chimed from beside him, a goat chewing lazily on the ends of his hair.

"At least you made them happy," Minghao chuckled, pushing his shoulder into yours. After what was an extremely interesting session, you had both ended up on the same yoga mat, leaning against each other as you watched the interactions around you.

Petting absent-mindedly at the small goat that had settled into your lap, you smiled at him. "And I didn't make you happy?"

"Of course, you did," he smiled. "You're really good at it too." Bending toward you, he pressed a light kiss to your temple.

"Don't kiss our date!" Jeonghan gasped, pointing an accusing finger at Minghao. "If you kiss Y/N, we all kiss Y/N!"

Nodding vehemently, Hoshi sprang to his feet as he began to circle the pair of you. This startled the goat you had been holding, causing him to spring away from you and jump roughly onto Dino's stomach.

"I promise you," Minghao said, wrapping his arms protectively around you. "If your lips even get near Y/N, you will fear my wrath."

"Wrath?" Wonwoo chuckled. "Someone needs more goat yoga."

"No more goat yoga," Woozi said definitively from his spot in the corner. "Next time, can't we just...get a meal? Do as the mentally sound people do?"

"That's asking a lot," Joshua grinned, aggressively petting a goat that had taken up residence on Mingyu's chest.

"No next times," Minghao sighed into the top of your head, still not letting you go. "I have a date to take you on first."

"What do you mean?" you teased, looking up at him through your lashes. "This is a date. And honestly, it's going to be hard to top."

250 notes · View notes

silverskye13 · 6 months

Text

So there's this thing about technology, and complexity, and fear. Technology is a tool, innovation is good, time passes. Change is, well, everyone is a stubborn goat about change at some point but ahm, change happens. Change is neutral, but the little animal living in the brain of wise men likes to think change is bad, and so all things that bring change are bad.

Doc, for his part, is glad he's built mostly of change. It makes embracing change... Easier. He looks in the mirror and he sees all the complex gadgets that augment his life and, yes, change was scary once. Not anymore. Technology, vessel of change, complex, is a scary thing but Doc is scarier. Well, not really. He doesn't think he's scary. But he does scary things you know, dramatic, and ahm, well, the other Hermits do give him those wary animal looks sometimes. Not scared, just a little off-balance, like they saw movement on the horizon and can't tell if it's heat off the ground or something... Scary.

Doc thinks they're scared of his tech mostly -- not scared, wary. He changes things. Shakes them up. Well -- they all do. But he changes things in complex, dramatic ways. Shadow tech. The Perimeter. The anvil canon. The tunnel bore. Big. Complex. Technology.

It's funny almost. Technology isn't bad. An axe is tech, technically, and they use those every day. Netherite is an upgrade. They make simple farms all the time. And those farms are far more complex than an axe. Though he supposes most mules balk at their first step down a steep ledge too.

Doc isn't frightened of technology. It is a tool. It is a vessel for change and most change is neutral. It's people that make it one thing or another, good and bad. Axes don't have opinions on good and evil, they just swing. They're tools. His flying bombing machines are tools, and he uses them goodly. He uses them to break -- but only so he can build. It's not like he's hurting people with them. Intentionally. The Buttercup thing doesn't count. They're like very big shovels really, and you wouldn't get mad at a shovel for digging.

.........

Doc is standing in front of a mural. It is a mural in his Perimeter. It is beautiful and impressive and, most importantly, it is a mural he didn't make. It is a mural none of the Hermits made. It is on a wall he arbitrarily uncovered, because of a leveling in the terrain when he first mapped out this location. He thought at the time it was a fortunate happenstance in geography. But, you know, geography isn't ordered. People put things to order -- the first shapes we drew when we first started making societies were squares. Squares, well, they happen naturally sometimes but, never perfect ones. He should have known --

Well. He's not an archeologist. He couldn't have known. He didn't even know when he first blasted the hole. The mural didn't reveal itself on the wall for months. It was too... Big. Impressive. He doesn't have an eye for inorganic stone. Plaster just looks like smooth stone to him. But the rain washed away what the explosions didn't and now he's standing beneath a beautiful mural of a goddess he's never seen before. He feels... Irreverent. It's not intentional it's just. It's. It's that feeling of standing on a mountaintop and knowing you were never meant to be there. It's the feeling of elytra wings it's -- it's like trespassing. He is staring up at a goddess he doesn't know and she is staring down at him and he is smaller than an ant, and she looks. She looks. Bone-deep familiar, and rugged, and forgiving and. Sad. Yes, he thinks she looks sad. Not sad like weeping but sad like an unused thing that is bleached under countless sunrises. Her facade is cracked. By him. By... Not him. By pipes and irreverences he didn't make, old ones, made by people who knew better and he wonders how she got here. He wonders who buried her. He wonders who cracked her plaster with their ugly pipes.

Ugly? Yes. Ugly. She's holding fruits of the earth and she's made of natural things and those pipes aren't natural. Vessels for change.

Doc is standing beneath a mural he didn't make with a goddess who looks neglected whose facade has been cracked by the vessels of change and her hands cup the fruits of her labor and they're red like blood and he wonders who put her there. He wonders why he found her. He wonders what she thinks of him, of his arm lit with redstone and his vessels of change and his him that isn't her and he wonders who worshipped her. Where they went. Why they broke her and why she was buried and she is dirt smudged from her unburying but the rain reveals her more day by day and he thinks the rain is hers. And the earth. And he thinks beneath his feet if he dug he might find what was left of the people who forgot her and he wonders what rage that would bring and he wonders if they looked like him, with his vessels of change.

"It is a tool," Doc tells the mural. He doesn't know why. It's something about the way she stares at him, measuring his worth. Superstition. The little animal in the back of his brain that shies stubbornly away from cliffs. "It does no harm on its own."

The mural watches him.

It doesn't seem to be the answer she was looking for.

"Ahm, the first tools we made," Doc tells her, "we made to survive, you know. Cracking nuts, taking meat off bones and things. They were simple. Mine are... A little less simple."

Doc places a hand on his redstone arm. "But I survive."

The mural watches him, and he thinks he can feel the weight of oceans and storms in her gaze. Then, he feels nothing. Overhead, clouds he hadn't noticed gathering part for wary sunlight.

The next day, Doc returns to the mural with a shovel, and at the goddess's feet he digs. He plants the seeds of one of his best tomato plants, and a row of flowers to attract butterflies, and he wires a simple redstone circuit to bells, that will chime when it all needs watered. The sky is cloudy when his work begins, but it clears by the time he wipes the dirt onto his pants. Doc stands beneath the mural, in front of the work of his hands done with simple tools, and waits for... Something. Superstition.

Nothing happens.

Doc takes to the sky on his elytra, and belatedly begins work on another redstone project.

He is glad he's built mostly of change. He thinks his goddess is as well.

#the barking writer #hermitcraft #docm77 #hermitcraft season 9 #the goatmother #[shrugs] just thinking thoughts

104 notes · View notes