#the lyrics are not completely matching but it's pretty close

[lordandladywhistledown]

polin 🤝 taylor swift songs

#listen #i was just listening to betty #does that song not have an early s3 polin vibe #the lyrics are not completely matching but it's pretty close #the 'i don't know anything but i know i miss you' #and also imagine that pen is betty #colin is james #and marina is augustine #way too good #polin #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton season 3 #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #colin x penelope #taylor swift #betty #folklore #bridgerton

[russellsppttemplates]

Uh oh, I'm falling in love (Lando Norris)

Y/N and Lando both have jobs that require good sight and attention to detail and yet they're oblivious to their feelings for eachother

Note: english is not my first language. I'm in a very fluffy mood, so I got really excited when I got this request! This also makes my expectations even higher and calls me single in about seventeen different languages at once...

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions a needle (for sewing)

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Hey guys! How's everyone?", Max said to the camera as you made sure the set up was right, the screen showing his and Lando's faces on one screen and the table on the other like it was supposed to.

"As per your many, many requests, we have brought our graphic designer at Quadrant, Y/N", Lando announced as you appeared on camera, sending a very awkward first wave to the camera, "today's stream is little different than our usual programming, but it was the only way she agreed to be in one! You guys really wanted to see her, so we had to be creative!", Max said as he moved the friendship bracelets making kit into view on the table.

"Hey, Queen Taylor said we should make the friendship bracelets, so we're just following her!", you chuckled, looking at all the coloured threads and colourful beads, sorting them out and grabbing a pen and paper so you could draw your ideas.

"Since you guys wanted to get to know Y/N, can I tell them to send in questions?", Lando questioned you, "sure, I'll answer them to the best of mu ability", you smiled.

You were picking the letters you needed for the bracelet you were making when Max spoke up, "first one: how did you start working with Quadrant? I'd love to work on the team when I finish my degree!".

"I saw the job offer, and I must admit at first I didn't really know much about the company. I looked it up, looked cool enough and I sent my CV and portfolio in. So keep your eyes peeled for any offers, I guess? We have them now on the website, which was my doing, so you can check them out there if you want to be part of the team", you offered.

"I need help, guys", Lando said as he fiddled with his bracelet, the orange and grey beads with his initials sliding on the elasticated material, I can't do the closing knot on my own", he pouted as you placed your bracelet down.

"You have to flip it like this, here. Just put it on your wrist and I'll do the rest", you ushered him, your fingertips gingerly touching his hand and wrist as you quietly laced it, "this way we don't get frilly bits out and it looks pretty, see? Pretty!", you smiled, modelling his wrist for the camera.

Pretty, that's what he often thought about you. Not only pretty, but it was one of the first physical traits that came to mind.

"We should all have matching ones!", Max said as he completed his bracelet, impressively on his own, revealing the colourful beads with Quadrant spelled in white round beads with black letters, "I'll make one for each of you", he said as he watched you show your own, pink beads and a lyric he assumed was from a Taylor Swift song.

"I'll make Y/N's, she helped me after all", Lando said as one brave fan sent a comment into the chat.

He's so giddy to make Y/N a bracelet, it's a shame it will snap because of his lack of skills

Am I delusional if I say that they'd make a great couple?

If you're delusional, then what do I call myself? I still think they're making heart eyes at eachother whenever they catch the slightest glimpse!

We're joining forces, I think it's a noble pursuit!

He's a dork, Y/N, but you should give him a chance

Have you always known you wanted to be a graphic designer?

"I thought about different careers before I settled on this one, for now at least", you explained, "engineering was in the running up, but then I figured out that I was curious about how things worked, but that didn't mean that I wanted to be the one working on it. And this was a way to express my creativity, my strategy planning as well, and at the moment it's been quite good", you smiled as Lando grabbed your wrist softly, "I need to make sure this fits", he interrupted, "and it won't snap because I've learnt how to do it, thank you very much", he blushed. So he, too, was reading the comments, choosing not to dwell in them.

"Look, this way you always have a lucky charm with you everywhere you go, even if we're not together. We're eachothers lucky charms!", Lando announced as Max mafe a fake gagging noise.

.

"Are you all ready?", you said as you and Tara walked inside the room, clasping your watch on your wrist and hoping to find the boys ready.

Quadrant had been invited to a gala dinner that celebrated the companies in the same line of business, inviting five people to take part in the meal. After some team members politely declining the invitation since they had things booked already, the group ended up being Lando, Max, Callum, Tara and yourself.

The dress required everyone to up their usual style, hence the long dress you were wearing. Even though it was far from your usual everyday attire, you felt beautiful in the dress you ended up with after browsing the online shops for a while. The cut was simple, the skirt widening from your waist down and complimenting your curves as the sheen from the midnight blue fabric looked soft and sweet against your skin.

Lando seemed to think the same, trying his best to not let his mouth hang open when you and Tara walked inside their room, heels clicking on the wooden floor as you hurried them, "does it really take that long to put on a suit? I had to help Tara with the laces on her back and we still got ready faster than the three of you?", you asked, shaking your wrist to check if the dainty watch wasn't going to fall and that it wasn't too tight either.

Looking up to meet Lando's eyes, you were sure you physically and audibly gulped. No one should look that good in a plain white shirt. The cuffs were still unbuttoned, but the shirt itself was tucked in his black pants. He didn't have any jewellery, so his tanned skin caught your eye as it contrasted with his clothes.

"Lando has a problem with his shirt and we are trying to solve it", Max said, a little bit too antsy given that, at the naked eye, there didn't seem to be a big issue with the piece of clothing you had been inspecting quite closely.

"There was a loose button, and I tried to fix it, but I made it worse", Lando said as he pointed to the button on his hand, the slight movement showing you the place where it was supposed to he holding the piece together and closed.

"Three people in this room and no one thought about grabbing the sewing kit from the amenities?", Tara suggested, looking for it in the box that was the same as it was in your room, "see? Simple as that! Can you sew it, Y/N? My hand isn't fully healed yet, I can't quite grasp something that small yet".

Tara had injured herself earlier on in the week, prompting her to ask to tag out of the gala until you pleaded her to go so you wouldn't be alone, so she couldn't do it. None of the other guys seemed to even know how to pull the thread through the needle, so you grabbed the kit from Tara's hand, "sure, I'll do it", you said, "if that's okay with you, that is", you looked over at Lando.

"Sure, anything to solve this. Do I keep it on or should I take it off?", he questioned, wanting to slap himself straight after at his offer. Why would he volunteer to be shirtless in front of you? It certainly wasn't the way to go, shoving himself like that.

"On should be fine", you muttered, missing the snickers going on behind you as you wet the thread with your tongue, careful to not transfer any of the lipstick on it and ruining the piece without point of return for good, easily looping it through and adjusting the size of the ends.

"Button", you put your hand out so Lando could place it in your fingers, "I will do my best not to poke you, let me know if I do so accidentally", you mumbled at the closeness to him you found yourself in. It was the third button from the top, and as much as you loved the sight of the shirt slightly undone, the dinner required his shirt to be done up. Looping the thread on the button a few times, you moved to pierce the crisp white fabric so it would be secure, your hands dangerously close to his skin as you could hear his laboured breath. Lando still remembered and thought constantly about your fingers touching his hand and wrist when you did the friendship bracelets video for the YouTube channel, and right now, it only added to his predicament.

"It's done, all good!", you exclaimed, looking up as you cut the thread and seeing Lando's eyes on you. The intensity nearly threw you off of your balance as you stood the tiniest bit crouched down on your high heels.

Scrambling to further the distance between your bodies, you smoothed out the non existent wrinkles on your dress, storing the supplies back in the kit as Lando managed to utter out a thank you, too stunned and intoxicated by your scent to say anything else.

"I sewed a button as neither of you look any more ready that you were when we got here? We're going to be late!", you hurried, sitting next to Tara and ignoring her smirk as you scrolled through your phone.

.

"That shoot will have to wait since Lando won't be back here soon, then", you said, moving things around in the online shared calendar, "when did you say you could again? I'm sorry", you asked, rubbing your forehead and squeezing your eyes, adjusting your glasses and looking at him through the screen.

"The first weekend of the next month", Lando assured, "are you okay, Y/N?", he asked. The bags under your eyes didn't fool anyone and you looked tired. And sick, he guessed by the layers of clothing you had on.

"I had a pretty shit day, actually", you admitted, "I had to go with the guys from storage because there was an issue. The supplier sent the samples and we wanted to get things moving so I could have some ideas for the description and the social media team also wanted to prep the draft for the whole story telling, but it all went under. I also think I caught some bug, so it's been a fun day", you exaggeratingly smiled, mocking your own misery.

"You look like you need a hug, Y/N. Do you need a hug?", Lando asked as you nodded, "Actually, that would be pretty good, but I live alone. The neighbours would think I'm pretty weird if I went around like this asking for one, too", you reasoned.

Even though he wasn't next to you, Lando still managed to pull a smile out of you as he got up from the chair he was sitting in, hugging his laptop, "did you feel that hug?", he loudly wondered, "it's full of Get well soon fairy dust!", he smiled charmingly.

"Fairy dust, mate?", Callum wondered, reminding you of his presence in the videocall, "you try and spend more than a few hours with a little girl and you let me know. Mila has taught me all about fairy dust and princess magic", Lando added.

.

"How will we get out of here?", you wondered, starting to regret joining Lando, Max and Pietra when they said they were going to watch a football game. You loved the sport and you figured it would be a nice distraction after a work loaded week, but now, things were looking less than a distraction.

"We will let them space out once the game finishes, free up the roads as well because getting out of here will be a pain, too", Lando suggested.

The game granted your team a win and three points in the championship, the crowd going wild as they clapped, whistled and waved their scarfs, slowly leaving the stadium.

"Should we make a run for it now?", Pietra said, holding her boyfriend's hand as she allowed him to pull her away.

You followed Lando, thanking his choice of a colourful hoodie to wear today as it made it easier for you to spot him, "go in front of me, I'll back you up", he switched positions. You weren't having too much trouble until you were met with a ramp, people carelessly shoving others as they tried to leave as quick as they could, all with the same intent of avoiding traffic and crowded roads.

"Here, Y/N", you heard Lando as he grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers in his and pulling you along, excusing you two as you approached Max and Pietra again, "we're here", you tapped the blonde woman's shoulder with your free hand.

"Goodness, that was and adventure", she said once you reached the stadium car park, the crowd clearing up significantly as there was maybe another ten people headed the same way as you were now, "is everyone alright? I think someone stepped on my foot quite a few times, or many people stepped on it at various different times", you reasoned, walking alongside Lando still.

"Don't we need to hand the bracelets back?", Max said as he looked at the sign, taking his bracelet off and depositing it in the box in the booth, Pietra doing the same as you seemed distracted.

"Are you okay, Y/N?", Max asked, seeing you and Lando were still holding hands and, because of that, not taking off your bracelets.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?", you scrunched your eyebrows, "we need to hand the bracelets back in, so I kind of need to have yours, too", he teased, looking at your hand still entwined with Lando's.

Removing your hand from Lando's as if it har started burning all of a sudden, you removed the bracelet, apologising quietly to the stadium employee as you thanked him, "shall we go now?".

"Dinner out?", Lando gulped, getting into the driver's seat, "Good idea, yes", Max added, sitting in the passenger's seat as you and Pietra sat in the back, your hand rubbing your other hand that had been laced with Lando's own one for a long time. Uh oh, you were falling in love.

.

The launch was finally over after an amazing response from the fans, leaving your heart happy and warm with a sense of mission accomplished.

"Is everything packed into the van?", you asked Tara, "yes, it's just this box. It has fragile things, so do you think you guys can take it in the car with you? It probably only fits at the front, so you'll have to squeeze in with the boys on the back", she smiled apologetically, "it's fine, we'll keep eachother warm like penguins do", you chuckled, holding the door open as she set the box safely.

Saying goodbye to her and the rest of the team, Max and Lando joined you, "You sit in the middle seat", Max pointed at you, opening the door ao you could scoot closer to Lando and he could get in.

"Could you tell me how long we have until get back?", Lando asked the driver, "with traffic at this hour, I'd say around 90 minutes", he smiled, turning on the blinker so he could leave the car park.

"Plenty of time for me to catch up on sleep, then!", you cheered, making yourself comfortable in the space you had, folding your scarf into an impromptu travel pillow, closing your eyes.

"Are you a snorer?", Max asked, making you blindly swat his thigh, "only when I'm sick, and lucky for you, I'm in presteen health, no blocked nose", you grumbled.

It didn't take you long to fall asleep. In the last week, all of the nights combined, you probably slept less than thirty hours, so your body was indeed in need of rest.

"And there it goes", Max said as your pillow undid itself, Lando lifting his shoulder in reflex so your head wouldn't drop drastically, landing on top of him, "Good thing she isn't our engineer, hm?", he chuckled, looking at how his bestfriend was looking at you like you hung the stars and the moon.

"I think I'm in love with Y/N", Lando whispered after he took your appearance in. You had forgone wearing make-up today, so he could see all your moles and scars, your pouty lips and the darkened skin under your eyes. It took everything in him to not bend down and kiss your forehead.

"Congrats on being the last one to find out, mate", Max added, shaking his head, "I genuinely thought you had some issue processing information, I'm glad to find out you don't.

"Now you just have to act on it, which is going to take you, what? Two, three more months?".

#lando norris imagine #lando norris fluff #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fluff

[trashcigs]

watching their girlfriend perform ・ 보이넥스트도어 idol!female reader + word count 0.7k genre est relationship fluff idol au cw not proof-read — more 🍀

jaehyun

literally a die-hard fan of your group! the loudest and most dedicated fanboy to ever exist???? watches on the big screen to observe every cute and pretty expression you make. jaehyun can't stay in one place, he's practically jumping in his seat, mouthing lyrics while doing small movements of your choreography (cutie). smiles too wide his cheeks start to hurt :(( gives up halfway and stands up from his seat to dance with you, knowing your part by heart but does end up doing the adlibs ( other groups around him find him so cute ).

the camera has caught him so many times he doesn't even care at this point, looking at the camera while pointing to the stage where your group is and giving it a double thumbs up ( don't be surprised when he's going viral again for his obvious adoration for you ). so many videos of him eyes tearing up with a loverboy grin on his face when your singing on stage goes viral cause the boy is just so clearly whipped

sungho

you cannot tear sungho's attention away from the stage. eyes always following you, whoever you may be, with a proud smile on his face. he's just so amazed! i mean imagine not having a super-talented idol s/o!?!? the camera literally catches him at the worst moments bc tell me why he's on-screen with his jaw agaped, hand over mouth, laughing, giggling kicking his feet. always staring at you with a stunned expression, hand over mouth, slapping jaehyun's arm ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

whenever you do something cute, his ears turn red. whenever you do something even remotely amazing he'd just gasp! ( celebration afterward ) notes to buy you a gift after the performance and treat you to an amazing dinner because you deserve it.

riwoo

tries not to make it too obvious or draw attention from your performance, but you can tell how happy he is. riwoo is literally losing his composure almost immediately after youre on the stage. his facial expressions range from 'damn that's good' to eyes widening to a very warm grin when you appear on the big screen. would subtly sing along, some parts (yours specifically) of the song he'll mouth. every once in a while you'd see him clapping along to the beat -- from the instruments to the stage, the dance break, and you-- all so captivating. ( /// ○ _ ○)

smile would grow twice in size once it's your part. stares are you with an 'o' shaped mouth and eyes filled with admiration. already knows your choreo by heart, would find himself on the big screen dancing along to the song then gets a bit shy and sits down. loverboy fr

taesan

will try to keep his reactions to a minimum but can't. I mean how could he? when someone as beautiful as you are belting their heart out onstage, who looks fabulous I might add, who wouldn't want to dance along with you? dongmin's eyes would follow your movements in complete awe, eyes never tearing away from the stage. <(■-■)>

trying to maintain his composure pt2 but FAILS MISERABLY AND is caught on camera literally melting to your stunning smile, finds himself smiling back. dancing to your parts and mirroring your moves in like tiny (?). he is completely whipped, having been told by woonhak that the camera is on him. hiding behind his hands while the others laugh at the way the blush creeps up. ( he's such a cutie)

leehan

always staring at you with so much adoration and love. donghyun loves hearing your voice and at times he'd just close his eyes and sway from side to side and give you such a love-sick smile it's insane. his dimples are so visible from a mile away. eyes glowing at you, when you hit that high note he's so mesmerized, like damn my baby can do that?? you’re the most gorgeous, breathtakingly beautiful idol to him. you have the looks matched with the voice gifted by angels. and he tells you this every day but it's so evident with the way he looks at you. ~(^ ▫ ^)~

you have him wrapped around your finger whether you like it or not. when the camera focuses on you after the end for the performance for the ending fairy, he's on his feet clapping for you. you can hear him cheering so loud from the crowd, so blow a kiss to the camera, and watch him giggle like a school girl. (he'll blow a kiss back and the audience goes wild )

woonhak

is smiling dancing singing -- just everything! woonhak is so excited to see you perform. thinks you look absolutely gorgeous. can't stay in his seat pt2. fighting the urge to dance along and of course, he loses when he finds himself dancing with jaehyun during the chorus. staff members from the side are telling him to calm down, which he does, but not really. has way too much energy (^⸝⸝> ·̫ <⸝⸝ ^)

does your fanchant and fans are literally recording him doing it, calling him ( your group ) best boy, best fanboy. jaw drops to the floor when you wink at the camera and the boy freezes in place. it's like he's falling in love all over again. turns to his hyungs to show them that he knows your choreography, he's adorable. gosh he loves you so much.

taglist open ⁉️ @in2fly @leehanist

#⠀ ── diary entry ✶ #boynextdoor #boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor fluff #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor headcanons #boynextdoor scenarios #bnd fluff #bnd imagines #bnd headcanons #bnd x reader #myung jaehyun fluff #sungho fluff #myung jaehun x reader #sungho x reader #riwoo x reader #riwoo fluff #taesan x reader #taesan fluff #leehan fluff #leehan x reader #woonhak fluff #woonhak x reader

[niceboyeds]

little black dress (e.m.)

Eddie Munson x female reader

summary: Eddie is completely oblivious that you've been crushing on him, getting mad when you dress up for a party but has no idea it’s for him.

contains: 18+ minors DNI drinking, language, angst, fluff, eddie being a dick, smut: oral (m&f receiving), fingering, unprotected PIV, semi-public sex, please let me know if i missed anything!

word count: 2.5K

a/n: inspired by the lyrics “i don’t want you like a best friend, only bought this dress so you could take it off” from Dress by Taylor Swift. this is different than my other Eddie posts and i’m kinda nervy about it so i hope you like it xx

nav

~~~~~~

Steve Harrington’s birthday bash was going to be the party of the year, everyone already knew it. and to say you we’re excited would be an understatement.

“are you picking me up tonight, Ed?” you ask your best friend, sitting across from him from the restaurant table.

“for...?”

“the party for Steve? the one Robin’s been planning for over a month...”

“right! yeah i’ll pick you up at 9.”

“perfect.” you throw a fry at him and laugh as it gets caught in his hair before tossing a $10 bill on the table to cover the bill. “see ya later.”

you rush home, giddy with excitement knowing you have the perfect outfit planned for tonight. you've been aching for your best friend to notice your feelings, but he seems to be oblivious. if this little black dress doesn't get his attention, you're out of ideas.

you forced Nancy and Robin to go shopping with you for hours the weekend prior to this party, searching for the perfect thing to wear. of course the girls know exactly why your wanted to buy a new dress, Nancy was the one who pointed out your feelings to begin with. you never even realized it yourself, but once she said something you couldn't stop thinking about it.

since then, everything he does seems to give you butterflies. the constant nicknames like sweetie and pretty girl. always checking in on you, making sure you ate or got enough sleep. how could you not fall for him?

you spend the evening dolling yourself up. even painting your nails a new shade of red to match your lipstick. feeling hot as fuck and confident, if Eddie didn’t want you surely someone else would.

but that’s not what you wanted. you wanted him.

9 o’clock rolls around and you hear a familiar horn in your driveway. you look in the mirror one last time, taking a deep breath before smiling at how good you look.

slipping on your shoes, you open the door and walk confidently to the van. but your confidence slowly sinks away as soon as you open the door to the vehicle.

“what are you wearing?” he asks, looking you up and down with a strange look on his face before you sit in the passenger seat.

“a dress? why is something wrong with it?”

“just not something I expected from you I guess.”

what the fuck does that mean?

“oh.” you look out the window, avoiding any possible eye contact with him. the girls swore he was going to love the dress and now you’re stuck thinking it was all a big mistake.

you’re quiet the rest of the drive, but he doesn’t seem to notice. you hop out of the van quickly when you arrive, closing the door and adjusting the dress that has ridden up your thighs when you sat down.

“ready to party?” Eddie asks, catching up to you at the door.

“yeah.” you just don’t have the desire to attempt to flirt with him at the moment, clearly he doesn’t want you.

“you goin’ home with someone tonight or do you want a ride later?” he asks as soon as he sees the crowded party, knowing you’d surely be separated from him.

“what?” why the hell would he think you’d go home with someone other than him?

“well you know, you’re dressed like you want to go slut around or something.”

“okay, i’m going to pretend you didn’t just fucking say that to me. asshole.” you walk away from him, mumbling the last word. as if you weren’t embarrassed enough that he didn’t like seeing you in the dress, now he thinks your intentions were to get laid tonight?

well… maybe they were. but you wanted him to fuck you. not some random drunk person at the party.

“Y/N!! you made it!” Robin waves you down from the kitchen, holding out a red cup to you and you smile at the familiar exchange.

“you look hot!” Nancy praises and you feel your confidence growing again. “how’d he like it?”

“he didn’t. said I look like I want to slut around.”

“what the fuck?? no, you look sexy as hell and it’s honestly his loss!” Robin continues you hype you up, making you smile.

“it’s whatever. I guess I was wrong to think he might actually like me back.”

“aw babe… don’t be sad! c’mon, let’s go dance with the birthday boy!!”

and you do without hesitation, refilling your cup before taking one of Nancy’s hands in yours as she leads you into the living room. the couches all pushed to the side of the room to make a makeshift dance floor.

“happy birthday Stevie!!” you call out to him, wrapping your arms around him in a hug.

“thanks! you look nice!” he shouts over the music after giving you a kiss on the top of your head, something you’ve grown accustomed to. he’s like a brother to you, someone who always tries to protect you like he does with literally everyone else.

you continue dancing with your friends, but you can’t help but look around for Eddie. you spot him across the room, almost glaring in your direction but his eyes never meet yours. instead they’re locked on Steve, who’s holding your hand and twirling you around.

“i’m gonna go get another drink.” you lean into Robin’s ear to inform her, she nods, and you weave through the crowd to the kitchen. a familiar presence lurking behind you causes you to turn around.

“hey Eds.” you sigh, still annoyed with him but not wanting to be. how was he supposed to know your feelings if you never bothered to tell him? “having fun?”

“I guess. wish you’d come hang out with me but you’re grumpy.”

“i’m not grumpy. you were just being a dick.” you defend yourself, getting worked up once again. he rolls his eyes and it takes everything in you to walk away without causing a scene. “whatever Eddie. come find me when you’re finished with whatever this is.”

you go back to the group, taking a drink from your cup before dancing somewhat provocatively with the girls again. Steve shows up with shots and passes them around, making all of you cheers before pouring them into your mouths.

tipsy and now unfazed by Eddie’s reaction to your dress you begin dancing and singing with Steve, putting his hands on your hips as the two of you move to the popular song from the mix Robin made specially for him.

you turn your head to look in Eddie’s direction, seeing him immediately looking away from you and at this point you’re over his moping and want him to come dance with you. you never could stay mad at him for long. you wander over to him and hold out your hand, wiggling your fingers as if to say, “you better take my hand boy”.

but he doesn’t, and it pisses you off even more. you refuse to put up with his attitude any longer, not when you’ve been pining for him for so long. forcing his hand into yours and pulling him into a random bedroom, you lock the door behind you.

“okay what is going on??”

“nothing.” he mumbles, and you call him out on his lie.

“bullshit! what the fuck is your problem?”

“my problem? what, so i’m just supposed to sit and watch you flirt and dance with Harrington all night long in that fucking dress?!”

“Eddie, I bought this dress for you.”

“what?” his face softens and then he looks at you with instant regret. “oh my god. and I called you a slut. i’m so sorry I didn’t mean it at all and—” everything clicked right there.

“were… were you jealous?”

he’s silent. and your answer is right in front of you. had it been there all along and you were just too busy stuffing down your feelings to see it?

the confidence you had before the party comes back to you, feeling almost happy that you made him jealous.

“so here’s what we can do, Eds. we can pretend this isn’t happening right now and go back to the party… or you can take this dress off of me. your choice.”

he doesn’t hesitate, pushing his lips against yours with a force you didn’t expect.

“you have no idea how long i’ve been wanting to do that.” he says, looking at you as if to see if you still want this.

“ditto, baby.” you immediately reach for the button on his jeans, but your eager fingers cannot seem to get it undone and you groan with frustration.

“aw do you need help, sweet thing?”

“if you don’t shut up and just take your fucking pants off Eddie I swear—”

he cuts you off with another kiss, “always so mean to me.”

“you love it.” you tease, palming at his growing bulge through the jeans he still hasn’t taken off.

he hurries to take his pants off, finally, stumbling when they get down to his ankles and he kicks them off somewhere in the room along with his shirt.

you look over him, practically drooling when he walks closer to you. “you gonna help me?” you ask, reaching for your zipper and he smirks.

“what if I want you to keep the dress on?”

“this dress cost me a whole paycheck. you are going to take it off carefully and not make a mess on it.”

“yes ma’am.” he grins ear to ear, smashing his lips onto yours again while reaching his hands behind your back and pulling the zipper down. as the dress pools around your feet, he takes a step back to admire you, mumbling a “beautiful” before lifting you up and tossing you on the bed.

he’s quick to join you, laying on top of you and you grind yourself up on his boxer covered bulge, earning a groan from his lips. the sounds he’s making turning you on even more. he begins dragging kisses down your body from your lips to my stomach. he stops just at your panty line, you sit up slightly waiting to see his next move. he continues leaving little pecks, right over where you’re soaking through your panties, making you squirm.

“Eddie.” you groan, making eye contact with him.

“what do you want? tell me.”

“please touch me.” you whine, so desperate.

“touch you where?” he teases more, making you groan again. “here?” he asks, kissing the inside of your thigh. you whine, making him move on. “or here?” he kisses the fabric, right over your sensitive bud, receiving a moan in reply.

“hey! i don’t think your attitude tonight allows for you to be such a tease.” he chuckles at your words, yanking your panties down to leave you completely naked. a needy mess underneath his touch. his fingers part your folds, the cold metal of his rings making you clench around nothing.

“completely soaked… did I do this to you?” he smiles, running his fingers through the sensitive area. his fingers play with your clit, making you moan loudly, not caring if the entire party can hear you over the booming music. he plays with it between his fingers for a moment, before removing them and replacing it with his mouth.

“oh god, Eds! yes!” you cry, feeling him sucking you, swirling his tongue and gently bringing one finger into your hole. he continues, adding in a second finger after a moment. you continue to be vocal, making him pump his fingers faster. you whimper in pleasure, grinding against him to get more. “baby i’m so close!” you yell out, making him suck harder and you let go, finishing all over his thick fingers.

“good girl.” he whispers, licking you one more time before removing his fingers from you.

panting, you bring yourself to your knees and reach your hands over to remove his boxers, pulling them down and smirking at how hard you made him. he begins to lay back onto the mattress as you look up and make eye contact, licking just the tip, making him moan.

“please.” you smile knowing he’s just as needy as you. you lick from the base to the tip before taking in as much of him as you can without gagging. bringing your hand up to stroke the rest as you move your head around him.

“holy fuck- just like that baby.” his hand finds its way into your hair and he takes a handful of it, strong but not forceful. you continue, sometimes removing him completely to lick the tip before taking him in again.

you remove your mouth to suck just the tip and stroke his whole length with your hand, but he pulls away before he can finish. you look up confused.

“don’t wanna cum like this baby, wanna cum inside you.” you gasp at his words, feeling yourself dripping down your thighs again.

you move down to lay your head on a pillow as he follows, laying on top of your body and kissing your swollen lips. he makes his way to your neck and you can’t help but moan loudly as he sucks on the sweet spot behind your ear.

“please Eds, need you in me.” you whine, and he finally begins to slip inside, your walls clenching as he does. he brings his lips to yours once again, kissing you though his thrust.

“fuck baby, so tight.” he moans into your ear, “not gonna last long.” but he continues, making you feel better than anyone else you’ve ever been with.

you cry out as he pushes into you harder, his thumb finding your little bud again. “cum Eds, please baby. cum for me.” and he does, sputtering his full load into you, bringing you closer to your own release again.

“holy shit Eddie! i’m- i’m so close.” you bring your hands to his back, scratching and no doubt leaving long red marks all the way down.

“c’mon pretty girl.” he pushes you, rubbing your clit faster and you feel the familiar knot in your stomach right before you finish again, crying his name as loud as possible. he pulls himself out, still rubbing your swollen bud slowly until you push his hand off of you.

“so…” he whispers after a moment, lying beside you on the mattress.

“so…” you repeat, trying to catch your breath.

“did you mean it? you really bought that dress for me?”

“couldn’t think of anything else that would get your attention.” you smile, rolling over to face him.

“hun, I have been trying to get your attention since I met you.”

“you’ve got to be joking.” you laugh, smacking his arm playfully.

“I guess we were both worried about ruining our friendship, huh?”

“I don’t want to be your best friend anymore, Eds.” you kiss him one more time before he can say anything else. you stand up and slip your dress back on, moving your hair over to one side and motioning for him to zip you up.

“wh- where are you going?”

“we are going home. and tomorrow you’re taking me to breakfast.”

“oh yeah? what are we doing at home?” he smirks, and you laugh in response.

“I guess we’ll decide when we get there, won’t we?”

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #stranger things fic #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fics #eddie munson fluff #eddie x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson angst #eddie x y/n #eddie munson x y/n

[vax-merstappen]

F1 boys as reputation songs

bc rep is my favorite era 🖤

Lando Norris

So It Goes:

Lando is absolutely the kind of guy who can “make everyone disappear” and mesmerize someone. He also screams “I’m not a bad girl but I do bad things with you” energy. He absolutely could make me cave and do literally anything and maybe that says more about me than him but 🤷. Also I think he is definitely a bit rough when it comes to love and “scratches down your back” would really fit with him.

Oscar Piastri

New Year’s Day:

He is so soft and sweet and the type that would definitely feel sentimental towards his girlfriend. He is absolutely the type of guy who would want to spend time with someone even if it was just cleaning up a party after new year’s. One of the sweetest guys on the grid absolutely fits the sweetest song on reputation. I adore imagining soft moments with Oscar and this song just fits that so well.

Max Verstappen

End Game:

Max gives big end game energy. He currently has the biggest reputation on the grid to uphold and a lot of haters, which resonates a lot with this song. I feel like people are also always trying to make drama about Max, which fits the line “I swear I don’t love the drama, it loves me.” I think he is just such a first-string, A-team driver on the grid that end game just has to go to him, at least as of right now.

Charles Leclerc

Gorgeous:

Like look at this man. He is stunning. Also “ocean blue eyes, lookin in mine.” He also screams boyfriend I can’t have energy and I think that he just fits this song so perfectly. Can absolutely imagine staring at this man and longing for this pretty boy. He is gorgeous and I question anyone who says otherwise.

Carlos Sainz

Don’t Blame Me:

He would be such a passionate lover that would inspire lyrics like “I get so high every time you’re loving me.” He is the diver that I can see driving someone crazy with love. I also believe he would fall from grace just for his lover. He would be fully committed to a partner and would stay with them for “the rest of my life.” Maybe it’s the ferrari red that makes me think of him as such a deep and passionate lover, but I really think he fits this song so well.

Lewis Hamilton

Call It What You Want:

Absolutely think this song belongs to Lewis. I feel like any girlfriend of his would be a priority in his life and he would make her feel so special, à la “loves me like I’m brand new.” I also feel like he absolutely is a chill guy who is “high above the whole scene.” Lewis is the type of guy who wouldn’t want to strictly define his relationships and would want to simply focus on making his partner happy. Also me personally I think he has “starry eyes.”

Daniel Ricciardo

Dress:

He gives off major best friend who you’ve been pining for energy. I can imagine him looking at you in a brand new dress and noticing how he really feels for you for the first time. Also his positive energy really fits the lyric “even in my worst times, you could see the best in me.” The golden tattoo line fits with his tattoos as well and I can imagine getting matching tattoos with Daniel. He would be willing to take off your pretty dress you bought.

Yuki Tsunoda

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Yuki seems like the most devoted boyfriend who would do everything he could to prevent the world from splitting you up like the line “you said there was nothing in the world that could stop it.” Yuki would also be the type of guy who would tune the world out for his girlfriend, like “can we dance through an avalanche.” If you wanted to keep dancing through an avalanche, Yuki would be right there with you. He would never want to leave your side.

Alex Albon

Delicate:

He is totally the kind of sweet guy who would not care about his girl’s reputation and would love her for herself. I can picture making a late night confession to him and him just pulling you close and letting you know that everything will be okay. I could also completely imagine looking into his eyes to “pretend you’re mine all the damn time.” Just the sweetest guy who would hear you out if you needed him to listen.

Logan Sargeant

King of My Heart:

Ok so this one might be a bit of stretch to some, but to me it just seems right. Logan is absolutely the driver I can imagine “drinking beer out of plastic cups” on a roof with. I also think the American Queen line fits perfectly because Logan is such an American king on the grid. With the “never took me quite where you do” line, Logan definitely is the guy to know a spot and take his girl there and make the place their own special meeting place.

#f1 #formula 1 #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 fluff #f1 x reader #lando norris x reader #oscar piastri x reader #f1 girl #max verstappen x reader #charles leclerc x reader #carlos sainz x reader #daniel ricciardo x reader #lewis hamilton x reader #yuki tsunoda x reader #alex albon x reader #logan sargeant x reader

[roseofdarknessblog]

Night Changes (Postwar!Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Word count: 3 506

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes

A/N: The song Nigh Changes by One Direction popped into my head while I was thinking about the title of this story. So I put it on after a pretty long time and realized that the lyrics kind of match the vibe I was trying to go for. Mainly the lines:

"But there's nothing to be afraid of

Even when the night changes

It will never change me and you"

Summary: The Rumbling happened more than half a year ago. Yet you and Levi are still adjusting to the new reality and the chance to live in peace despite all the hardships you're facing daily.

This story can be read on its own or as a part of my little post-war series: Learn to live again

Night Changes

Another day was slowly coming to an end. Thankfully. It was a long and stressful one, just like every single time you and Levi had to be reminded of your past. Of the war, the Rumbling, and everything that came with it. Half a year had already passed and so many things in your personal lives had changed.

„Here, your tea, my love,“ you said and closed the bedroom door, making your way to the bed where Levi was resting. After a few days, he was finally back home from the hospital after another knee surgery. „Do you need anything else?“

He shook his head and took the cup, barely looking at you in the process. You didn’t think anything about it, because you knew Levi. And most importantly, you knew how he was after every hospital stay – anxious, uncomfortable, and stressed out.

„I closed the kitchen and living room windows for the night. It looks like a storm is closing in, I saw lightning from the direction of the ocean.“ You walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down, resting your back against the headrest. It wasn’t too late but you were already pretty tired. „Hope it won’t be as bad as the last one.“

Levi didn’t utter a word, he kept drinking his tea in silence. You felt great relief about him being back home. All of this... was still brand new and scary. Life in the outside world was much different than the one you were used to on Paradis. And not even the trips you took to Marley before the Rumbling could prepare you for it. Or at least not for everything, that became essential for your new everyday life.

Medical care, for example.

While you didn’t suffer any long-term injuries during the last battle against Eren, Levi took many hits for both of you. Since then he had to spend every single day in pain. And the worst part was, that you couldn’t do much to help him. You were no doctor or nurse, only a former member of the Survey Corps and Levi’s now fiancée. All you could do were the most basic and everyday things.

Just like today, after you brought him home from the hospital once again, after his third knee surgery in only six months. The doctors tried to reassure you, that if everything goes well, this could be the last surgery for a very long time, maybe even forever. At least when it came to his knee. His right eye was a completely different story, sadly.

„Do you... want to talk? Maybe?“ you asked after a short while, hugging one of the pillows to your chest.

The apartment where you lived now was... still unfamiliar and didn’t feel like home at all. The only positive thing was, that it was situated on the ground floor so Levi didn’t have troubles with his wheelchair, which he still needed to use. Nobody was able to tell you for how long it will stay that way or if he will ever get rid of it. He was able to walk using a cane, but it was causing him too much unnecessary pain. So getting around with a bit of additional help was much better and even safer for him.

And that was totally okay, you kept reassuring him, that it’s nothing catastrophic. Even though... even though it was. Horrible and so unnatural for the both of you. Still so new and hard to get used to.

You hoped it would get easier. Seeing him like this – weaker and more vulnerable than probably ever before. But it wasn’t getting even a tiny bit easier. There were still moments you had to hide somewhere and cry your eyes out without Levi noticing, because you felt horrible about his health and because you were so worried about what the future held in stock for you and the man you loved so dearly since the days both of you were still living in the Underground on Paradis.

„This isn’t the life I hoped we would have after all the shit we went through,“ Levi said quietly after he finished his tea and put the cup on the nightstand. It seemed that you finally mastered the art of making the perfect cup of his favorite drink. Not to say that you were trying to get to this level since you were a teenager and started living under the same roof with Levi.

„Yeah, this doesn’t look like the life we fought so hard for. But...“ you shrugged and moved closer to him, gently grabbing his left hand and interlocking your fingers, „we still have each other, that matters the most, right? At least something is the way we always wanted.“

„You always wanted to take care of me?“ Levi teased you with an annoyed tone.

„I did, yes. Maybe not exactly in the way I do it now, but I do it with love,“ you assured him and squeezed his hand, running your thumb over his knuckles.

Your life was far from easy or perfect, but you tried to have hope that everything would get better soon. Both of you were making slow but steady progress. Learning along the way with the help of one another, or the people closest to you.

„I hate all of this with burning passion, every single thing.“

„What exactly do you mean?“ you asked, resting your head on his shoulder.

„This...“ he hissed and gestured to his left knee, which was bandaged after the surgery and propped with a pillow underneath it to help the pain and swelling.

„Nobody said it’s forever. They have a much more advanced medical system here than we have on Paradis. We just... have to trust them.“

And that was the hardest part. For both of you. Every single doctor visit and hospital stay was nerve-wracking and anxiety-inducing for you and for Levi even more. It was hard to trust the world that was so different from everything you knew your whole life. And it was even harder to trust all the new people you kept meeting. Just a few months back, they saw your kind as their enemy.

And now...

Well, even if almost nobody knew, who you and Levi were, it felt strange walking down the streets of the little town you were living in. Anxiety kept telling you, that everyone was watching and judging your every move. For a few weeks, you could barely walk outside at all, because you were sure everyone was after you and wanted you dead. Onyankopon was the one, who helped you overcome this irrational fear and get used to so many new things.

„We’re making progress, even if it hurts,“ you said quietly, turning your head and pressing your lips to Levi’s neck lovingly.

When you looked down at your left ring finger, you could see a simple but beautiful engagement ring. You dreamed about it for years and it seemed like a miracle that you even lived long enough to soon become Mrs. Ackerman. There was no rush to get married now. Finally, after so many years, you had all the time in the world. Time to think it through and get everything as perfect as possible.

The storm came within the next hour. Both of you were still awake – while Levi was resting with his eyes closed, you were reading a book out loud. It was a silly adventure story about a group of friends who decided to explore a magical kingdom. Gabi was the one, who gifted you this book a few weeks ago, saying it was one of her favorites. So you decided to give it a try.

„Guess I’m starting to understand why Gabi loves this story,“ Levi said after a little while.

„Yeah, me too. I’ve never read anything similar. It’s very nice to get lost in such a magical world.“ The characters were nice and the magical kingdom sounded like the perfect place to get lost for a while and go exploring.

„We should ask for more book recommendations.“ You smiled at his words, brushing strands of hair from his forehead. He finally looked relaxed and that always put a smile on your face.

Anxiety from seeing doctors sometimes got the best of him. He didn’t trust them fully and hated to admit, that he needed their help. Somebody, who was known as Humanity's strongest soldier hated to appear weak or dependent on anyone or anything. The only person, to whom he was willing to show his suffering, was you.

But he was getting better at it. Better at seeking help and better at adjusting to all the new circumstances. Better at understanding, that his life changed very drastically. Better at living in peace with the new reality.

„We will, she and Falco are coming over to see us on Friday. And Onyankopon wants to stop by during the weekend as well.“

„Tch, so many noisy people coming and going, asking stupid questions.“

You smirked and leaned down to kiss his lips gently. „Shut up, you like them. Mainly Falco, when you get to kick his ass in chess.“

„The little brat has a lot to learn if he wants to win against me one day.“

„But he’s a fast learner, he’ll beat you in a couple of months,“ you teased him and closed the book. Loud thunder was heard from outside, while the rain was drumming against the windows. „We should go for a little walk tomorrow, to get some fresh air. What do you say?“

„Hope it will rain the whole day,“ he mumbled and looked at you, reaching his hand out to stroke your cheek.

„In that case, we’ll just take our umbrellas,“ you joked, keeping his hand on your cheek for a little longer. With a loving look, you bent down for another kiss, keeping your lips pressed together for a little longer. Just when you wanted to pull away, Levi moved his hand on the back of your head, keeping you close for a moment longer. His mouth made contact with yours once again and when your lips slightly parted, his tongue found its way inside, meeting yours.

„I hate your snarky little answers,“ he whispered into your lips, kissing you again before pulling you down next to him. With a satisfied grin, you made yourself comfortable and rested your head on Levi’s chest. „I would be so lost without you.“

„You would do just fine, Levi. But I’m glad I got to survive it all alongside you.“ Through the years you had a few close calls, but you always made it out in one piece. Thankfully. „Years back, we were just two teenagers in the Underground and today... we’re living in a world outside Paradis. It’s still so unbelievable to me.“

„We don’t even seem like those people anymore.“

„But deep down we’re still those two, just a little older and wiser. And happier.“

„Happier,“ he said almost too quietly, his lips pressing against your forehead.

Soon, you turned off the lights and tried going to sleep. The storm outside slowly died down and even the rain stopped. You and Levi were resting in each other’s arms, talking quietly and enjoying a peaceful night. Sleeping alone while he was in the hospital was always horrible. The bed felt too empty and cold when he wasn’t right there next to you.

After an hour, Levi started getting restless once again. His leg was hurting and staying in bed seemed like the worst possible thing to do. Some nights used to be like that – and Levi hated that more than anything. He hated keeping you up and not letting you rest. But you never said even a single bad word. Every time, you took care of him with love and patience, just like when he had nightmares and used to wake up screaming or sometimes even crying.

Not that... not that things like that never happened to you. Quite the opposite. Shortly after the Rumbling, it was you, who needed Levi’s help with managing your mental health. Your anxiety was through the roof almost 24/7 and most nights you simply weren’t able to fall asleep. You were scared of having another nightmare full of terror and blood. On top of everything that was happening around you, your mind simply decided to push you as far as possible, trying to break you for good.

If it wasn’t for Levi’s love and patience, you would never make it out of those dark places. While he was physically and mentally suffering himself, he always made sure you were doing as well as possible. If anything, you two always had each other to lean on. When one of you fell down, the other helped them up and made sure both of you could continue walking forward. Hand in hand, trusting and loving each other more and more every day.

„Should we get some fresh air? The storm’s gone and there are no people in the streets in the middle of the night,“ you suggested, coming back to the bedroom with another cup of tea for Levi. After he took it, you knelt down before him as he was sitting on the edge of the bed. You smiled at him with all the love you felt in your heart and put your hand on his healthy knee, squeezing it reassuringly.

„You can just open the windows,“ he said without an ounce of interest in his voice.

„Nah, that’s not the same.“ It was more than obvious, that none of you would get any sleep in the coming hours. And staying here wasn’t the best idea. During similar nights the small bedroom simply felt too suffocating. „We don’t have to be long, just a couple of minutes. It will help.“

You could see the pain in his features, in the way he was gripping the edge of the bed with his free hand, or in the way he was trying to avoid eye contact. You could hear it in his voice, in the way he was breathing. And it was killing you, even after six months of living like this. It hurt more than anything that ever happened to you directly.

„Okay, come on. We’re going out!“ you commanded after taking a couple of deep breaths and stood up, making your way to the closet to get some clothes for the both of you.

Levi tried protesting, but it was you, who won in the end. A change of scenery was very much needed and Levi started to agree with you as soon as you got out and into the fresh night air – him sitting in his wheelchair with you pushing him. It only took a couple of short minutes until you felt a strong wave of calmness filling your entire being.

„Okay, this wasn’t your worst idea,“ Levi said eventually, finally relaxing and resting his back once the painkillers started to kick in. You could clearly see how his entire posture changed, his shoulder muscles releasing all the tension. He even stopped clutching his hurting knee, hoping it would help him ease the pain.

„See, you should listen to me more often,“ you laughed and kissed the top of his head. There wasn’t a place you wanted to get to, just careless wandering around the night streets of your new home was what your soul craved.

The two of you ended up taking the route straight to the docks and to the beach next to it. The fresh salty breeze felt more than nice after another storm. Even the sky above your head became clear once again, shining with millions of tiny little stars. Surprisingly, the sky looked even clearer than on Paradis, when you used to stargaze on top of the Walls.

„Stop there by the bench,“ Levi said, as you were making your way along the sidewalk next to the beach. You did as he said, sitting down on the wooded bench and taking his hand in your once more.

„What are we going to do here?“ you asked, looking at him in the light from the nearby street lamp.

His face changed so much, but he was just as handsome as before. You loved every little detail about his face, even the new scars and his blind eye. After all, they were a reminder of how hard he fought for humanity. How he gave his all for the world, that did nothing but hurt him since he was just a little kid. 

Levi Ackerman has always been the only man you truly wanted. The only man you’ve ever shown interest in. You met him when you were only fifteen and since then, you couldn’t imagine living your life with anyone else.

„We’re going to sit here, watch the ocean, and listen to the waves,“ Levi answered and pulled your hand to his lips, kissing your left ring finger just under your ring.

„Maybe we should come here more often. Even if just during the night when no one’s around. We should go out more and explore, see as much as we can. Live like we said we would... you know, back at Fort Salta, the first night after the Rumbling.“

„We’ll get there, I promise,“ he tried reassuring you, just like many times before.

„I know we will. Sooner or later, in a month or maybe in a year.“

„When I’m a bit more put together,“ he chuckled quietly and looked at you, a tiny smirk on his lips. Despite the pain and trauma, he started smiling a little more often in your company. And you used to tease him, that it took you almost two decades, to achieve this. „Thank you for being so patient with me. For doing all the things you do for me and for us.“

So many different emotions were running through your mind and heart. You felt more than grateful for the life you had, despite everything. After all, this was all you ever dreamed of – a quiet and simple life with the man you loved more than anything or anyone. You wanted a warm and cozy home, a family of your own. You wanted what most ordinary people your age had.

„Do you think...“ you asked, feeling a lump forming in your throat. „Do you think they’re watching us right now? And maybe... maybe smiling because we’re doing good?“ Not a day went by without thinking of your late friends and comrades. You still missed them dearly and felt thankful for all their effort, that helped you get here.

„Let’s hope so,“ Levi said quietly and squeezed your hand lovingly. Talking about Hange, Erwin and the others was still very challenging, but you both wanted to remember them for the rest of your lives. So it was important to talk about them, to remember the nice memories you had with them. „Did I tell you before the surgery? The brats are coming to see us next month, Connie sent a letter.“

You smiled happily upon hearing his words. „Really? Oh, I’m so happy, I miss them all every day. I know they have their own lives and responsibilities, but I wish they could come visit us more often.“

You truly missed them – the kids, as you used to call them since your very first meeting all those years ago. Not having them around daily felt unnatural, but it made their every visit even more special.

„Do they know we’re engaged?“

„No, I haven’t mentioned it in any of the letters.“

„Me neither,“ you shook your head with a smile.

Writing letters... that and similar things were a challenge on their own. Levi was still getting used to doing activities like that with his non-dominant hand. Missing two fingers made a lot of mundane tasks unnecessarily difficult. But Levi was resilient. A man, who was able to use ODM gear, fire thunder spears and fight Titans with missing fingers, a blind eye, an injured knee, and pain unimaginable to you, would not give up over stupid little things. All he needed, was time and a little help from you, to show him how to do things differently.

„I think they’ll be happy about it,“ Levi said quietly, his voice almost too quiet compared to the relaxing sound of the waves.

„I think so too,“ you agreed and reached out your free hand. Gently, you grabbed Levi’s chin and turned his head in your direction. „You have no idea how crazy in love I am with you. More and more after each day we spend together. You truly are all that I want and need, Levi.“

He was the first to erase all the space between you, when he leaned in for a kiss, pressing his lips hard against yours. In Levi’s case, actions always spoke louder than words, mostly during such intimate moments, which showed just how much he valued, cherished, and loved you. 

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x female reader #aot x reader #aot x you #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin

[in3rci4]

maybe you could do TBP boys x GN reader who is always serious and calm and doesn't have the habit of smiling, smiling for the first time

Thank you for the request and for giving an idea too 😊🥹 ! I appreciate it , hope it's not too bad ❤️‍🩹

" And then they smiled , that's what i'm after . A smile on their eyes , the sound of their laugher"

The title comes from a small piece of the lyrics of the song " Drift away" from Steven Universe

Prompt : The Black Phone boys reaction at the reader who's always serious and calm , smile and laugh for the first time

Characters included: Vance Hopper , Bruce Yamada , Billy Showalter , Robin Arellano , Griffin Stagg , Finney Blake

WARNINGS !! : Character x reader content , no use of y/n , idk what else to say , Gn ! Reader , Reader might have some backstory I guess ¿? maybe a mix of Fluff and Angst ¿? Some gonna be shorter than others

Vance Hopper

You two knew each other for some time now , you were home schooled not so long ago so you didn't had an idea of Pin Ball Vance Hopper reputation . The moment the teacher assigned the both of you for a project , you weren't walking on eggshells like everybody else did with him while talking , you didn't expect anything from him , for you , Vance was just ... Vance . That's the exact reason why you befriend him in no time , your non judgmental personality , and you were completely unaware he wasn't like this with anyone , anyone but you . Even if your words were nice and honest he noticed how cautious you were with your movements and expressions , he thought it was weird at first , your voice didn't matched with the look in your face in his opinion , but Vance got used to it pretty quick , he's not a smiley guy either , he was ... A little more grumpy person than you . Just like usual , in the weekend you would stay by his side watching him play his Pin Ball game , and also making sure he didn't beat anyone if anything went wrong with it , but those are details . You got hungry and decided to buy Mrs Ellen a small snack bag , when you went back to the side of the machine ( not too close to possibly bump it though ) he started to get close to beating his high score . You gasped in excitement and then he heard the sound of the machine saving his new record on the top of it . Vance let go of the arcade game machine and started to shake you excited as well by your arms , you doing the exact same thing with the snack bag still in your hands

" You did it Vance , you finally beat your high score !"

You said with a smile while laughing of enjoyment

" See !? Told ya , told ya I would fucking beat that shit , didn't I !? "

You kept laughing and smiling from the happiness of had seen it happening after so long , so many failed tries were worth for this day to happen . Vance in the other hand stopped moving your body to stare at you instead .

You were smiling , smiling in a genuine , happy and .... He would say in a beautiful way too . Is this how you look like when you're happy ? The real you ?

Maybe he should try to get you to smile more often .

Confused about the sudden change of attitude you asked him with a small giggle

" Vance , are you ok ? "

Yes , he would be ok , as long as you are with him for a little longer like this .

Bruce Yamada

He was a popular and loved guy , he didn't had trouble hanging with almost everybody in school, and Bruce didn't have to do any effort in finding someone to date either . And yet , a particular classmate of his , you , was the one that had all his attention . A person that minded their own business and never had smile in front of anybody before , and still looks like a magazine model .

Bruce wanted to get close to you for years , but he never had the opportunity , ironically , he never had the courage to go straight at you and tell how good looking you are , you look so serious that you kinda scared him , but not enough to stop liking you .

The biology teacher didn't had a clue how happy he made Bruce the day he paired you and him in a project for the science , finally he could have his opportunity , his chance with you . Dying of anxiety inside like his first baseball game , he asked you

" Hey , I know we never talked before and stuff , but would you like to stop at my house tomorrow to speed up things ? For the project , you know ? Maybe we could go out somewhere in the weekend if everything goes well "

Looking into his eyes and with suspicion in yours you asked as well

" As a date ?"

He wasn't expecting you to be straightforward as well , so he fidget with his fingers a little and with a nervous yet bright smile he said

" Yeah , I mean , if you want to of course "

The recess bell rang and everybody stood up to be free again , you grabbed your book and walked towards the door , but before you leave you said looking at him

" it's a date then "

With a smile that could've killed Bruce if he didn't want to stay alive to see you tomorrow , God bless the biology teachers man .

Billy Showalter

His dog Harper was Billy's loyal companion , a very well behaved girl too , never biting things that she shouldn't , no barking unless there's danger or she's commanded to , not jumping into people in excitement , in general , a really good girl . The mornings delivering News Papers are much better with her by his side , at that hour people are still processing their awakening and there's little people on the street , but the ones that are outside never got a complain about her , in fact , they usually want to ask for permission to pet her instead . Lately someone that he seen outside at early morning was you , sometimes with groceries in your hand , sometimes only walking by yourself . You were one of Billy's classmate , but he doesn't talk with anybody in it , at least not anymore , and you were no exception . Sometimes he founds himself staring at you and then snapping out of it , trying to ignore whatever feeling he had to do such thing , but something about you , that mysterious unexpressive charm , the stern look in your eyes , is something that he can't quite describe with words and is afraid of digging for a definition in his mind . Unfortunately for this boy one of those mornings you decided to walk your rescued male dog and Harper for the first time ran away towards the dog to meet him , both with waggy happy tails sniffing each other . Billy stops his bike at a mailbox and runs towards her , to you

" Harper ! Harper ! I'm Sorry , she's never like that , I don't know what's up with her "

The female dog comes close to you waiting to be petted , and you were more than happy to give her what she wanted

" it's ok , she's a really good girl , she just wanted to meet the new handsome boy here "

Billy knew you were referring about your dog , but his stupid brain still made his cheeks burn from the blush , why's he's being like this ?

Harper licks your hand and you giggle from the tickle feeling in your palm , you smile , and he smiles too . More pleased about the morning you said

" You want me to walk with you while you deliver your papers ? Then we can both take the dogs for a walk "

Something more mysterious about you was how quickly you made Billy accepted the fact once for all about his crush about you , maybe the moment your face light up with your smile enchanted him

" Yeah , I don't mind , Harper hasn't seen that many dogs around anyway "

Harper always helping him in the simple things , she's for sure getting a special treat today after you're gone .

Robin Arellano

He may not seem like that , but he's a person with a good memory and remembers a bunch of people even they don't remember him ( Difficult to say since almost everybody in school knows his name ) . He remembers you from elementary school , Robin thought you were the cute one of the class , although his classmates prefer to call you the " quiet " one . He noticed how you never changed , always focusing on your studies and never smiling , not even for the photos , not even for politeness , always keeping your expressions neutral and seriousness in your way of acting .

Life crossed your paths the day a bully that didn't find his victim who didn't showed up in school decided to go after you instead , poor choice of decision , because Robin did , he showed up , and beat him up .

After he was done , he walked on his way to the boy's bathroom , but you stopped him , and Robin was deep down afraid he messed up things instead of making them better between both of you

" Robin ! "

Trying to keep his cool when he hears your voice behind him , he turns around and responds

" yeah ?"

Without finding more words to describe your gratitude , you kept it simple and said with a gentle smile

" Thank you "

Yes ! He did impressed you ! It was all damn worth it !

" No problem "

Robin walked again feeling like the main character of an action movie , and you smiled at him too ? You ? The good looking and serious you ? Nah he ain't forgetting this day for nothing !

Finney Blake

This year he wasn't sitting alone on the back on the class , well , he was still on the back on the class , but he was sharing his desk this time , with you . Finney had to admit it was hella awkward , I mean , he can't complain that much since it could be worse or Finney himself is too much of a shy guy to start a conversation or keep it on with a stranger . You , his desk mate , never talked to him , not even once , and your cold serious personality didn't make things easier , the two of you introverts , teachers never had to complain about the noise that you guys could make in class . A regular day in math class the teacher talked about the possibility of numbers being negative and being under the 0 , this got the interest of the students because it was something relatively new so far .

Finney murmured to himself casually

" Damn , not even numbers can't stay positive "

It was a bad joke ? Yes , but it was so unexpected he stole a snort and giggle from you , you had to shut yourself up with your hand or else more laughing would be heard by the teacher .

In Finney's opinion it was a terrible one , he's not even that funny , he was surprised yet amused at your sudden change of expression . Maybe he could push his a little further ?

" I guess we can't be negative if we just started "

You stopped from escaping a laugh from your mouth once again , maybe Finney couldn't see your complete smile , but your half closed happy eyes got his ego fly over the roof .

They say " stay with the one that makes you laugh "

So don't worry , laugh all you want from now on , he's good at math anyway , he can always teach you if you got too distracted for him .

Not like Finney minds your company at all .

Griffin Stagg

The day he saw you smile after 2 years of watching you keeping your face as unexpressed as possible , was the day a older group of bullies bumped into him , and God , he was so fine with being invisible for other students and not dealing with being a punch bag , that he tried to run away before they could do anything . Stronger and experts on making kid's lives hell , they grabbed his shirt and started to mock him and test him in front of everybody in the cafeteria . Griffin didn't say anything , he couldn't , or else it would be worse , he knows that like the back of his hand . 3 tall dudes , 1 grabbing his shirt , 2 grabbing each of the boy's arms , it seemed like everything was lost , but you pulled up the one in front of Griffin by the shirt and tucked him to the ground . The two boys left pushed Griffin to the ground as well , and went straight to attack you .

But you dodge all of them easily .

After giving the whole cafeteria a show to watch , the boys got up and swore that it wasn't over , but you couldn't care less . You walked towards Griffin and offered him your hand , he stays still without knowing what to say or do more than stare in confusion , until he spoke

" Thank you ... For helping me "

With a big bright smile that didn't fit someone like you , so serious and capable of defeating 3 guys , you responded

" It's nothing , now get up Griff "

Griff ? No one has called him like that before . But , it doesn't sound bad , right ? He kinda likes the nickname .

#the black phone #tbp headcanons #tbp fandom #tbp #the black phone x reader #finney blake #bruce yamada #billy showalter #griffin stagg #robin arellano #vance hopper #finney blake x reader #robin arellano x reader #vance hopper x reader #billy showalter x reader #tbp griffin #bruce yamada x reader

[sturnsgirl]

LES-CHILDISH GAMBINO

IN WHICH-Chris and Y/n are in a toxic relationship. (inspo by the song les)

THERE WILL BE ANOTHER VERSION INSPIRED BY LES

warnings-Smut,use of mama,ma,baby,princess,dollface, toxic relationship, arguments,use of y/n,song lyrics,nsfw

| for better experience song is recommended and linked |

⟡C. STURNIOLO.⟡

⟡•STURNSGIRL •⟡

It was dark with only colored and flashing illuminating lights around. People drunk and wasted, others making out, and some smoking.

I was at a party I don't know whos but who evers it was it didnt matter. I was in an argument with my boyfriend before we came here but not to mention he was also here sneaking glances at me and smirking even staring me dead up and down holding a red solo cup. He was pissing me off more than I already was, girls dancing on him and touching all up on him, kissing them even. I did the same at this point. Grinding my hips and swaying on other guys, drunk. Sitting on another man's lap smoking a blunt leaving my dark red lipstick stains on the mouth of the blunt and other guys face's.

FLASHBACK.

"YOU'RE A FUCKING MESS? YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS AND IM ALWAYS IN THE MIX OF IT."

"IM A MESS? YOU'RE HERE FUCKING WITH OTHER GIRLS?" I yell at chris with my mascara running down my cheeks wondering how i got into this in the first place.

"YEAH? AND I CAN BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS, ABOUT.. US!?" He saying swinging his hand

"CHRIS REALLY? WHAT EVEN ARE 'WE' AT ONE POINT YOU WERE SOME ONE I REALLY LOVED. WHEN IM DEPRESSED YOU'RE SOMEONE I'LL RUN TO, BUT NOW I CANT EVEN TALK TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING!"

I say silencing him as i wipe tears and run out the door with my purse hanging off my shoulder and my matching black and red out fit in my hand.

Chris chose my outfit, dressing me as a complete slut.

The outfit was a tight black corset with red accents within the ribbons that laced the top with the back of it only being a the ribbon, so my back was fully exposed. Topped with a small red bow at the middle of the corset between my boobs. The matching extreme short and tight shiny skirt it came with not even fully covering my ass also topped with a red bow at the, and see through black tinted tights that only dimmed my shade of legs. I decided with a red bow in my hair and red bottom platform heels with red bows in the back.

I got ready at my friend Maya's house for the party not seeing Chris until we got there.

END OF FLASHBACK.

I get off the boys lap im in, walking to the bar stumbling, and barely managing to walk ordering a lemonade and vodka mix, and dowing it within seconds on my way to the dance floor, but im stopped.

"Hey pretty lady, can i make you my toy tonight?" A man says coming to me trying to slide his hands to my waist.

*les by childish gambino starts to play*

"No she wont and shes not a fucking toy asshole." Chris says coming up from my side snaking his arm around my waist pulling me towards his side and moving me away.

"Oh your claiming me again?" i say rolling my eyes crossing my arms.

"Fuck you. Can i have this dance?" he says sliding both his hands to my waist down to my ass gripping it causing me sway around him.

Lights flashing

Chris's arms around me

Spinning me around

Gripping and grabbing on me

Kissing me.

colors everywhere.

My vision lost around and everywhere.

"C'mon Doll." He says in a more demanding way grabbing my wrist to a room upstairs closing the door behind us as we enter.

He immediatly starts gliding his tounge on my mouth giving his own enterance picking me up from my ass not breaking the sloppy makeout we were in. I could taste the alcohol, and weed in him and I know he could taste the same in me. He starts to kiss down my neck and down my boobs til he reached the top of my corset his arms curling around my back lifting me up pulling the strings of my corset as well as my corset it’s self off throwing them off. Childish gambino muffled still playing outside of the red dim lit room with candles.

'Baby you're the baddest. Baby you're the baddest girl and uh-'

Trailing off as Chris has ripped off my skirt, and tights already while I kick off my heels. Chris groaning against my skin kissing, and rubbing up my thigh. Pulling my red thong to the side wiping his two finger up, and down a few times still kissing on me before licking a stripe onto my wet core making him groan, causing vibrations to be sent through my body allowing me to moan. His tounge flicking up, sliding his fingers into me curling up, and down,pumping in and out,sucking and kissing on my pussy, muffled groans and high pitched moans tugging on his hair ever so lightly while his other hand rubs the top of my clit. Til I feel the knot in my stomach.

"oh sh-shiiittt..umph c-hri..FUCKK..MM-gonna c-" I moan not even finishing before I release on chris

"Fuck baby you did so good mmph mama." He huffs out breathless.

He cleans me up. Tying my corset, and putting my skirt and thong back on. He pulls me into his chest from my waist standing me up.

"look baby im sorry. i wanna try,and i know, im an awful guy and im always but i wanna try and i know im a piece of shit but we can make this work."

"make it work by fucking our ways into apologies everytime?!" I reply

"no mama please listen. we can work i know it. im sorry baby. forgive me please?" He apologizes

I dont reply and just kiss him as a 'its okay'. but really we knew it wasnt. Our relationship is a mess and always has been. Hes out with other girls hurting me, but 'he will change' according to him.

2 days pass and again chris is away somewhere. Until I get a text.

CHRIS🫀

Chris🫀- hey dollface can i come over ?

why?-me

Chris🫀- cs i want too?

Sorry. Yeah u can-me

^- loved by CHRIS🫀

I put my phone down and huffed. I got up off the couch and got ready for chris. about 15 minutes had passed and there was a knock at my door. I run downstairs to go open the door and to no one's surprise it was chris.

"Hey mamas" He says hugging me by my waist.

"Hey baby" I say taking in his embrace while he lets go and walks away, I close the door and walk over to chris.

"why'd u wanna come over?" I ask

"so I can see my pretty girl?" he says in a duh tone

I chuckle as I straddle his lap and lean into his soft lips for a small kiss.

"why dont we go to my house, hm?" he says holding my lower waist

"but chris-"

"I know, I know, every time we see each other im taking you home but cmon"

"fine."I sigh.

They get home

"Mmph chris!" I moan into the kiss. As soon as we got home we were kissing in the bathroom making out and moaning. I hope nobody catch us.. but I kinda hope they catch us.

"shh baby their gonna catch us."

"sorry." i whisper

We went on for around an hour fucking in the bathroom while nick and matt were home still.

"fuuck you did so good princess" he breaths out kissing my temple, cleaning me up.

I cant manage any words still huffing out catching my breath

"did i fuck u dumb ma?" he chuckles picking me up and laying me in bed dressing me in his fresh love set.

"th..thank you baby" I managed as he dressed me.

He just kissed my head and walks to the closet changing

"wanna go get food mama?" he asks

"please" I say softly still dumb fucked.

"can you even walk?" he giggles

I try to stand up he fail almost falling as he grabs me holding me up he chuckles softly before speaking.

"c'mon mama i got you dont worry" he says holding me stable as i take step after step hoping nick and matt dont see us.

we walk out the house and he sits me down in the passenger seat and buckles my seat belt for me kissing my temple before going to his side

"can we get chic fil a?" i ask softly

"yes mama" he says intertwining our fingers and resting them on my thigh.

"you know i love you right?" chris speaks up

i look at him confused as because our 'relationship' if you can even call it that is a mess. Hes out kissing and sleeping with other people and everytime he sees me hes taking me home. As if im one of his hoes. We were a mess mentally. Both of us and us together.

"baby your the baddest girl i know. i love you so much and im so sorry for everything ive done i love you and care about you. no body else matters. only you ma." he says

"what?.. i- chris.. you mean that?" i say on the verge of tears.

"yes my princess." he says squeezing my hand

"i love you too. im sorry for everything and-"

"dont be sorry ma" he says cutting me off stopping at a red light giving me a quick but sweet and passionate kiss.

Madi speaks- this took so long and its short nd sucks ass im gonna cry.. but i love this song sooo..

request are open feel free to leave them!

@is4belle and I's tiktokt acc-sturnsma.

#Spotify #les childish gambino #childish gambino #favorite songs #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #fanfic #eventual smut #smut

[0509-brainrot]

POST THE DOUBKE PARALLELS PLSPLSPLS

HNGH OKAY SO,

First of all just some General Visual Parallels (ones that while I don't have any particular Thoughts or Deep Analysis on they're Neat :) (also they fit more into the overarching smoking trio parallels since Kazui has a matching one too) I'm sorry Kazui my blog is so biased orz)

Mfs when they hold the left side of their face while forcing out a pained smile (Although with Mikoto it's just his general lying/trying to brush off his own suffering while with Shidou we're looking at him at his most painfully honest) ((Also they both have phone calls in their songs which I think is Great))

Cool eye shots :) (Am I the only one who thinks Mikoto's eyes are very pretty :sob: ((Also now the entire smoking trio has one of these close up eye shots, I also love that Mikoto and Orekoto both get individual shots nobody gets left out (Ignoring the fact that they Disbanded)))

Okay but time for. My Actual Shitty Parallels Analysis bear with me guys here this is gonna get Messy,

Idk if I talked about this Before but Shidou and John (I'm sorry guys I Need to adjust to it I'm gonna call him John here) are both obviously extremely tied to their "purpose" of protecting people, specifically their loved ones (Shidou's Family/Mikoto). However they obviously go at it very Differently, John's method Is harmful (violence/killing) while Shidou's is supposed to be the complete Opposite (treating/healing).

There's also something interesting about their victims. I can't say for sure from Double if Multiple people were Actually murdered, but it seems to be portrayed that way by John at least; he and Shidou both portray themselves as having multiple victims, and they're also portrayed completely differently than their loved ones (Flowers/Tags, Mannequins, they're not entirely portrayed as people and have little to no identity, their lives were set aside to protect/save the ones they cared about)

(The environment in Shidou's MV is also very sterile and clean looking while John's is covered in blood. They're both surrounded by their representations of the lives they took)

From what we've seen this purpose is currently what basically makes or breaks their will/reason to live, these people are their entire worlds, if they can't even save the ones they care about they may as well have nothing, and what happened with that purpose of protecting?

Well. They failed.

Shidou's fails to protect/save his family and John fails to protect/save Mikoto, and their arcs with how they go Forward with this failure completely Kills Me

I fucking. Hrmghsdflbds these shots at the ends of their respective mvs are the shots that pretty much prompted this post. Shidou reaches out and, despite his failures, tries to push past his self-hatred and resolves to continue living and protecting others. Meanwhile, John closes in on himself with renewed self-hatred, and decides that it would be better off if he disappeared/went dormant.

Just. Aheem aheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem

GOD, GOD (while the shots themselves don't exactly parallel, the lyrics. Oh The Lyrics)

"So hey, prolong my life" / "If only I were never born, if only"

"I'm Dispensable" / "I'm So Sorry"

Minus the "Why, why" in Double, these are the Last Two Lines for both of their songs and,

I'M GONNA HIT SOMETHING,

We see John with the most Openly Distressed expression we've seen on him meanwhile Shidou has almost Cold Resolve

Shidou and John's arcs are going in completely opposite directions and that Breaks my Fucking Heart Man oh my God get me Out of here Get Me Out (I hope these shots also helps articulate that parallel I tried to make earlier about the different ways they go at protecting people? Shidou puts on new white, clean gloves meanwhile John's hands are completely coated in blood and just. Man,).

Just. Yeah. Yeah,

Pain

God I hope this makes sense to Someone I'm going Insane

Most miserable guys ever I love them so much </333

#milgram #milgram project #mikoto kayano #shidou kirisaki #0509 #0905 #0509 ramblings #admittedly i'm very apprehensive about posting this to the main tags #while all the Real theories are rolling in and stuff #i'm kinda worried about people looking at me like i'm Insane and like Yeah I Am but also orz orz #praying this stays with my audience you guys see the Vision Right #they make me So Ill i'm gonna Throw Something Goddddddd #guys pleaseplaspelape if you have thoughts or a response to this Let Me Know we Need to feed each other Thoughts me thinks

[writingcold]

Welcome to Chapter Eleven and Twelve of Best Laid Plans

A/N:  We’re nearing the finish of this sad little story, and getting closer to that happy ending.  I appreciate everyone that has taken a bit of their time to read this one.  Amanda and Jake are important to me.  It’s been a story that came together so naturally and I hope that even though they experience so much heartbreak, that perhaps you can see the good bits that they’ve had as well.  Little pieces of happiness and strength and just life.

This is a complete fiction - totally made up.  I do not, nor will I ever know Jake or any member of GVF.  That said, this story is mine.  Please respect that.

@takenbythemaddness deserves all the love here.  She really did a lot of screaming at me, but those screams guided me.  Thank you my friend.

Content warnings: Language.  Alcohol.  Hints of sex, and sexual situations.  Adult relationships.  Talk of old trauma and old trauma caused by relationships.

Word count: approx. 7000

Chapter 11: August, 1992: Amanda POV        

     The swoon of The Black Crowes filled the air of Sparrow as I moved around, dusting, shifting books on the displays, adding new stock to the shelves.  It must’ve been close to midnight.  I was belting out “Seeing Things” like it was my entire life.  Funny how lyrics can match your spirit coming and going with whatever is happening in your life.  I had found strength.  I had found life without Roger was better than with him.  I had found my smile and the ability to stand on my own.  Sparrow was flourishing.  And in it all, I became my own woman.

     A tap at my door caught my attention, my cheeks blushing over the possibility of being caught singing so far off key, I might’ve found it again.  Jake stood, his body leaning down so as to see below the closed curtain.  

     “Having a party?”  he asked lightly as I let him in.

     “Naw, just doing chores,”  I said as I hurried to the stereo.  “You want a beer?”

     I held up my two down six pack from the open cooler.  He grinned and reached out in answer.  I opened my third and took a sip before pausing to listen to the new song roll out of the speakers.  Jake grinned.  Joe Cocker.  Of course.  “You are So Beautiful” leaked in the air between us.  He laughed as he took a long drink before setting the can aside.

     “Come here, beautiful,”  he whispered, holding his hand out and sweeping me into him.

     I was instantly overwhelmed by his warmth, his sounds, the way he hummed and murmured the lyrics.  I pressed my cheek to his chest when he brought his fingers up to stroke my hair.  Call it muscle memory.  Call it a siren call.  Call it whatever the fuck you want but I shuffled my feet in between his in perfect time, just like always.  My heart was swelling beyond the capacity of my chest.  My very soul was crying out for this man that held me for all of two minutes and forty some odd seconds.  

     We stopped moving as a stupid restaurant commercial started jingling from the speakers.  I felt my throat constrict as his fingers pressed into my back.  My brows pinched as I breathed in one more time before I moved away.

     “I have missed you,”  he said quietly.

     I was sniffling and running towards the counter to hide my emotions behind a tissue.  Instead of waffling, I plastered my best smile on and shook off the anxiousness of the moment.  When I turned back to him, the only thought that struck me was “I desperately want to be yours once more”, but I did not allow the words to dance across my tongue and be spoken into truth.  They could remain my dream for now.  

     “How is Jeanette?”  I asked instead, reaching for my can to take a drink.

     His mouth scrunched to the side, capturing the hint that ‘us’ was not a topic to discuss.  “She’s good.  We’ve gotta get-away coming up after Labor Day.  Heading up to Sault Saint Marie.  Should be pretty.”

     I grinned and nodded.  “It’ll be gorgeous this time of year.  Must be getting serious, surely.”

     I turned to grab my duster and to hide my eyes rolling closed.  I may not have wanted to broach the topic of ‘us’ but I sure as shit did not want to be talking about Jeanette either.  I knew they were dating.  I knew they might as well be dating exclusively from what the town gossip rags were raging about.  

     Jake shrugged.  “We are just enjoying each other’s company, I guess.  I don’t know.”     I shot him a questioning look.  “Are you serious?  Jake, you two have been ‘dating’ for what, at least 18 months?”

     He shrugged again.  “She likes how things are right now.  It’s comfortable.”

     I nodded as I started getting back to work.  He chatted about the pending meetings with the Fall Street Fair committee.  Of course, I had been approached to chair the group this year, although I am sure I didn’t quite agree to being said chair.  It was fine though.  I had some ideas to expand things and incorporate a dance to bring in more people to the evening events.

     We finished the six pack and Jake left with a wave.  Into my apartment, I was sure that I was going to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion.  Instead, my mind swirled, latching on how he called me ‘beautiful’.  How he had held me.  It wasn’t that I was not dating.  I had been out more than a few times with nice men.  They just weren't Jake.  I took what I could, selfishly at times.  And that was all right.  Whatever happened between us - falling back together or remaining friends, it would be enough to sustain me.  Probably.

Jake POV

     I woke up in her bed.  My dream had placed me squarely in Mandy’s arms, but instead, I smiled into the sleepy face of Jeanette.  I traced her cheek before planting a kiss to her forehead with a promise of making pancakes for breakfast.  

     “You’re too good, Jake,”  she moaned as she yanked the blankets up to her chin and snuggled in.

      She really was a lovely woman.  She cared for me in a way that satisfied me.  Was it love?  In a fashion it was.  But it was a shadow compared to what once had been mine.  What was still with Amanda.  I felt it the previous night.  That heat that echoed between us - acknowledged but unnoted.  Our steady return to friendship meant everything. I listened to Jeanette as she bumped around on her way to the shower.  She was about to be on shift at the hospital for the weekend.  I had promised her a good breakfast as well as dropping her off supper tonight.  I promised to stay away after that, a request she had to keep her focused as she entered her second fourteen hour shift.  She’d just laugh and say that the super bitch would emerge, so best to not see her in that condition.  

     I heard her calling me from the beyond and I put a pause on flipping pancakes.  I grinned as I was met with a mountain of steam and a sigh.  

     “You need something?”  I asked as my fingers wrapped around the shower curtain. 

     I will admit all I could see was how her fingers ghosted up the curve of her hips to the swell of her breasts, the bubbles of the soap leaving trails down her lush skin.  I don’t think I even bothered taking my clothes off before I jumped in with her.  But that was what we had.  That moment sums up our relationship quite well.  Spontaneous.  Fun.  

     “You’ll be busy with the festival committee, yeah?”  she was asking as she buttered up her pancakes.  

     I was nodding as I dragged a towel across my hair.  “Not looking forward to it, but it is what it is.  Should be good though.  We’re bringing back the dancefloor since that was such a hit last year.  But instead of a DJ this year, I’ve gotten the Jewel boys lined up to play.”

     “Ooo, sounds romantic,”  she said before taking a big bite.  

     “Should be,”  I agreed as I reached for my mug.

     She followed me out her front door and we parted with a warm kiss, lingering over the glow that we had given to each other.  It was easy with Jeanette.  

     I stopped in Martin’s to get Bugger and Meg set up to start the day before I headed out to the meeting at the hotel.  Mandy was already there, her smile wide and filled with energy.  She gave me a little wave as she was listening to a group talk at her at rapid speed.  I edged the perimeter, making sure I was seen without having to interact just yet.   Mrs. Button latched onto my arm and practically dragged me over to her business partner, Mrs. Olsen, with suggestions on flowers and plants that they just needed my opinion on.  Mandy had pointed out they just liked me in particular - young, single, and handsome.  I smiled as they bubbled over their pictures all spread out in an array of color.

     “I happen to like the stonecrops, petunias and hydrangeas, ladies,”  Mandy remarked, her eyes on me as she walked up to us.  “The bolder the better, eh?”

     The two ladies cackled like crows as they began to shuffle through the photos to bring together the suggested fauna.  She tucked in close to me, all the while nodding and agreeing - ferns? Sure.  Perhaps we need to feature local grown…  Coneflowers?  How lovely.  I stood and absorbed her presence.  For the first time in a very long while, I felt it.  The gentle tug starting at the very tips of my toes reaching out as her gravity beckoned me.

     I sat across from her during the actual meeting.  Everything from the grand opening at noon on Saturday to the dance Sunday evening was discussed.  The carnival rides would be making a return to the park, and main street would be turned into a walking only venue for two whole days.  I watched her as she presented costs and features and alternate plans in case of bad weather.  And yet.

     The thoughts that tumbled through my mind was the fact that I had been in love with the woman before me since I was seventeen.  She had given me direction, motivation, and purpose.  She gave me memories and solace when I thought times could not get worse.  We knew each other without a singular touch or word between us.  I could recall in a fraction of a second every smile, every hushed moan, every ounce of touch she had ever given me.  In her current state, she was healing.  Her wounds are still visible, but closing.  Nearly a year away from Roger had given her inklings of confidence that I had been privy to so long before.  Nearly a year, and she was visibly healing.

      Jeanette and I had stopped at Babcia’s for dinner when I saw Mandy in the corner booth with a guy I did not know.  That was back in April, close to my birthday.  I teased her about it the next day.  I was given a blush across her cheeks and an instant withdrawal by her, but I will not lie, I was a little hurt that I had not been her first date.  I had wondered at the time if she realized it.  When I saw her walking into the diner with Adam Walker the following week, I knew.  She was trying to find a path away from all of her hurt.  Seeking comfort with those she did not have such an extended history with.  And that was fine.  I could continue to live off our friendship.  I would survive on our walled off and restrained notions of love.

     Our trip up north had been amazing.  Jeanette was truly a partner for my curiosity.  We were a good match in our shared interests and we both had a desire to find adventure in the little daily pieces of life.  She brought me a smile that I could not deny in that manner.  She took me on the lock tour, while I wanted to walk the downtown for window shopping.  She dragged me out to hike the park, and I made us go to a few of the taverns.  We both enjoyed the music shop and the book store.  Not unlike our town, they happened to be side by side.  

      “I bet best friends do not own those,”  Jeanette said, her tone light as we were walking away, her eyes full of warmth.

      I had paused at her comment.  It was not the first time that she had brought up Mandy in such a fashion.  There was no intent there other than to acknowledge the closeness I had with Amanda.  There wasn't any suggestion that there was anything other than friendship.  I had glanced back at the two shops and smiled.  

      I had not shared anything of what Georgia had dropped upon me two years prior with anyone.  It took six months just to process the information that she had so totally duped me into believing I was horrible for betraying my girl.  Jeanette knew enough about Georgia, and the reason I could not stay in the marriage.  She had listened to me while I had expressed my doubts that Liam was my child, though in my heart he would always have a residence.  I listened to her and her heartbreak.  The loss of her husband, Gabriel, in a car accident that had left her hospitalized for three weeks and him in the ground.  I guess we were a pair.  Each finding solace in the other over the level of loss that had been tattooed on our spirits.  We certainly found a way to extend comfort and patience to the other across the many times of need.

      Once returned to Frankenmuth, we parted ways with a promise to see each other soon.  I was unsure if the committed non-committal thing was what kept me right with her.  Or maybe, we were just two similar souls that were in a holding pattern for the next big event that would pull us apart.  Regardless, once home, laundry done with a beer in my hand, I was ready to start the work week relaxed.

     Morning coffee had turned into Mandy’s coffee since her completion of the coffee bar and treat case.  The idea was a hit.  She had people waiting for shop opening at eight every morning and the morning pastries were gone within the first hour.  I would show up about nine, to which she would have my cup at the ready and a saved cafe table that was closer to the back door.  When I walked in the morning after the trip, her face was a mix of relief and question.  When I prodded her, she just shook her head and pointed out that she had a new round of biographies that I would be interested in.

      The cooler weather was kissing the air and tickling the town.  I invited Jeanette to supper at my place a few weeks after our trip away.  She brought the wine and I cooked way too much shrimp and pasta, but it did actually come out amazingly.  We sat on the deck to eat and drink and laugh.  I had put on an album inside so it could drift outside in the background.  She looked lovely that night.  Her smile was inviting.  Her mood was light.  So when the question came around, I was caught off guard.

      “So, am I just your placeholder for Mandy?  I mean, are you just waiting for her at this point?”  

      “Placeholder?”  I repeated the word.  The fact that she used it to describe herself struck a chord.  “No…?  I’m not sure where this is coming from.  I just thought we were…”

      She puffed out her cheeks before taking a sip of her wine.  “Relax, Jake.  Just a conversation that I think we’re overdue for.”

      “Why would you call yourself a placeholder?  What does that even mean?”  I asked, still not liking the direction.

      She stayed quiet for a few beats that chewed into my system.  “Don’t mind me.  I think I’m just off tonight.”

      I watched her confidence evaporate instantly, leaving her near silent in her rush to leave.  “Jeanette, wait.  Pardon me being dense here.  Why would you think you were a placeholder?  Like what we have doesn’t mean anything?”

      “Forget it. I gotta get going anyway.  I’m on at seven tomorrow morning,”  she started grabbing plates and standing up.  

      I reached out but couldn’t stop her.  I grabbed the rest of the dishes and caught her inside the kitchen.  “Just stop, please.  It hurts that you would think this whole time you thought I was just waiting things out for Mandy.  You’ve been very important to me.  I thought we…”

      Her eyes glistened as she was reaching for her purse and keys.  “Jake, now I’m just embarrassed.  Please.  I’m just going to go and we’ll forget I said anything.”

      I caught her around the wrist to stop her.  “Jean, hey, stop.  Just for a minute.  I don’t like seeing you like this.”

      “Really,”  she huffed, shaking her head.  “It’s fine.  Just let me go.”

      I watched as she left, pulling out of the driveway quickly to make her escape.  I called her place to make sure she got home, but she did not answer.  Fuck.  I left a quick message on her machine to call me.  Instead of losing the night in her skin, I lost the night in thoughts of me not making her feel special enough.  For not making her feel like she was important enough.  For that I was…. Fuck, I was an idiot.

Chapter 12: October, 1992: Amanda POV

      The first week of October had arrived.  The carnival trucks rolled into town on Tuesday and the park was being set up quickly for the launch on Saturday at noon.  Main Street was being cleaned up and prepped for all the fixings to be set out.  The tents had arrived.  Assignments and locations were marked and mapped.  This thing was ready to launch.  

     Jake seemed off for more than a few days.  Distracted seemed to be a good word for him.  I was too busy - words I felt guilty saying even to myself - to stop long enough to check in on him.  Instead, we continued our paths, side by side, just like always.  

     I blinked and Friday appeared.  The street was blocked off so shop owners could start setting up their tents along the wide sidewalks.  Saturday morning was a flurry of activity.  Mick and Robin were manning the shop while I brought on a few extra hands to be in the booth with me.  I noticed that Jake was all set, a wide collection of tables set out with old wooden beer case bins holding vintage albums.  I caught his eye and gave a wave as I was running down towards the park to make sure the stalls for the Farmer’s Market were in place.  It was enough to give me a little flutter.  He had his hair pulled back just at the crown of his head, allowing the length that now spilled over his shoulders to hang loose.  I might’ve looked a little too long and ran into the flower power girls and their carts of ferns.  

      Once I untangled from Mrs. Button and Mrs. Olsen, I marched down to the park to see the carnival rides and game row all in place, being given their final safety clearance.  The Farmer’s Market corner was lovely and filled with all sorts of cool stuff.  At noon, the wagons were sent out for those parked at a distance for free hayrides into the event.  The local 4H manned that helm and the kids were given an avenue to talk about their club and animals and whatever the hell else they wanted to.

      People were lined up for the late afternoon parade.  It seemed like nonstop activity.  The high school band led the festivities and the amount of candy thrown was shocking.  The evening was ushered in with the end of the parade.  The carnival would stay open until midnight, while the shops on main street closed up at seven.  In the midst of carrying coolers and pitchers, I caught sight of Jake dragging tables back towards Martin’s.  I started to smile until I saw Jeanette appear, stepping into his waiting touch, his waiting kiss.  My heart clenched at the sight of how lovely they looked.

      Whipping myself around before I was caught, I cleaned up quickly.  I could feel the yearning in my skin for his touch.  For his singular attention.  The way he would clench his jaw as he watched his fingers trace the line of my thigh haunted my dreams.  I was on the verge of rupture when I was blessed with Mick stepping out to start helping carry the heavy trays.  I retreated upstairs after lights out and put on a CD of something instrumental to fill the air with something other than my lingering thoughts of a man who I had no claim to.  Pouring out a cup of hot chamomile, I worked through my night routine - locking the door, washing up, jammies, book, tea and my bed covered with a million cute pillows.  

      My book landed next to me while my thoughts swirled around.  I had dated a grand total of four men - all of them nice.  I even slept with two of them.  I had nearly forgotten what it was to be desired.  Jake had been the first to remind me.   Adam had been the second.  Chris was just… strange and I’ll leave it at that.  No - really.  Not strange.  That’s the wrong word.  It just kind of happened and I was not hurt when I did not feel the need to return that man’s call.  But now…  My eyes closed as the heat of Jake’s touch crept through my memory.  He had a way of making me feel like I could fly.  Like I could set the world on fire and he would gladly supply the gasoline.  The way he would smile so softly as he explored my body, and how the corners of his eyes would crinkle when I pressed kisses to those places he couldn’t stop the moan from escaping from his lips.  Fuck.

      I rolled to my side and snapped the light off, discovering the dark only made things worse.  I slipped out from the bed with a strangled huff, latching on to my mug and retreating to my kitchen table.  My eyes caught sight of a long forgotten navy blue spine with little silver stars that had been carelessly tossed on top of the fridge.  In all the crazy of the summer, I had forgotten that Jenni had brought a box of stuff from our room.  She was helping Mom repaint and prepare the house for sale.  The folks were officially downsizing.  Odd to think that our home would be host to someone other than the Fischer family.  

      I reached and grabbed the journal that I had so brokenly discarded more than a decade before.  I chewed the corner of my mouth as I sat down, instantly spilling out a bunch of photographs.  I smiled as I pushed them together in a pile with careful hands.  My smile began to twist and curl as I looked upon the joy that was stretched across our youthful faces.  I looked upon fond memories of days down by the river, cuddle moments in his parent’s basement, a picture snapped of us being total idiots at Miller’s.  Each one I could tell you the day, the time, the occasion, the feel, the smell, the tenderness, the laughter that happened.  My eyes skated over my tumbled out thoughts and trilled secrets.  I re-read passages of hope and love and desires.  I giggled over sketchy ideas of what it would be like to have sex with Jake, followed by ‘holy shit’ revelations.  It was all there.  My eighteen year old self was so right when I said that “Jake was the joy of the sun, the soul of the moon, the river between my toes, the breath in my lungs, the love of my life.”

     I paused.  I knew what the last entry was.  I knew the words that I had scrawled; the tear marks that blotched the heavy paper.  I ran my finger over the edge, allowing myself to feel the stain of the memory.  To go from such a high of seeing him coming home to see me, to celebrate us, and then to fall to such waste and anger in seconds was enough to make me feel like I had snapped my spine and broke my spirit.

      Another moment of hesitation and I turned the page to find that picture of Jake in the red swim trunks, his mouth stretched wide in an open smile.  I dragged in a breath.  There were the splotches in the ink from my angry, leaked out tears.  There was the wrinkled corner from where I nearly shredded the page from the book.  I did not read the words that I had written in such a blind rage, but more so took in the heavy slant, the hard press into the paper, the sloppiness, the carelessness…  But then at the bottom, my eyes froze.  I did not remember writing the last sentences and my heart broke all the more for my young self.  “I do not believe with all that is of me that Jake betrayed me.  It is just not in him to be so reckless, so thoughtless of what we had as to be with another woman.  I don’t care if he was drunk.  I just cannot believe he could be so not loyal to us.”

      There it was again.  A stubbornness to not believe what was, and not heal from the wound that had buried itself so deep.  Breathing in, I knew there was still scar tissue, still marks from that first swipe of ‘forever’.  Roger had blazed across every nerve ending and exposed brain cells.  He had ruined my confidence and eroded my edges that made me - me.  I admit, I dwelled on how I had allowed that man to run me over and obliterate what I thought were the best parts of me.  I thought I would never heal.  I thought the damage done would be permanent.  It was not lost on me that this situation had been a repeated one.  While Jake’s trespass had been a mistake, Roger’s had been intentional.  Intentional harm.  Intentional destruction.  In order to get beyond Roger’s damage, I had to also recognize the older, persistent trauma that had been entombed in the recesses of myself behind a wall of doubt.  Had I allowed my perceived goodness in Jake to cover what had been done?  Maybe.  A little bit of me still wanted to believe that what Jake had done was not real.  

     I am totally not sure how I had finally wrestled myself to rest, but I did.  Day one of the Fall Festival was a success.  Now, just to live through day two.  I fixed myself a fast breakfast and was downstairs, setting up for the day within a half an hour.  The day was chilly but clear.  Mick dragged himself through the door, while Robin flitted in with a huge smile and a breakfast casserole to share.  Festivities for the day were more focused on the farmer’s market, carnival rides, and the ending with the dance and live music.  I had gotten the insulated pitchers of hot chocolate to the counter when Jake appeared.  

     “Good morning,”  I chirped as I plugged in the big coffee percolators to get to work.  “I have coffee inside…”

     He grinned and followed me in, a sleepy glance to his tent next door.  “We did really good yesterday, Mandy.  Everyone is saying that their foot traffic may have been near double of what it was last year.”

      I nodded as I poured him a cup.  “Taking Jeanette to the dance tonight?”

      I hid the internal groan that I chomped down in my throat.  Why would I ask that kind of a question other than to divert my thoughts that he would never know were going on in the first place.  Damn I am an idiot at times.

      “I guess.  She’s going with a group and I told her I’d meet her there,”  he answered before blowing across the heat of the coffee.  “You?  Are you taking anyone?”

      “Just myself.  No one wanted this hot little number today,”  I said, shimmying my hips like an idiot.  I mean really?  Who was this person, for surely it was not me.

      He frowned for a moment.  Thankfully, Mick and Robin were banging around as they struggled with filling coolers for the day.  Of course, Robin shoved a hunk of casserole under his nose to share with Bugger in particular, and Meg.  We fell into routine as if both of us just needed to retreat into the comfortable instead of my awkwardness.  The day rolled through with lots of visitors from out of town as well as residents.  The street music that Jake provided was a fun addition, setting a tone that was light and put people at an ease.  The day was feeling its Autumn self - mostly cloudy and a little breezy.  We had to rush to refill our hot chocolate and coffee more than a few times.  But it was fun.  It was fun to see our town awash in pumpkins and flannel and little clear twinkle lights and just everything.  It made me love the town all over again.  To know I had a hand in it… yeah.

     The evening brought our shops to close at five, even though our foot traffic was still heavy.  We moved our operation down the street to the park for the dance and ending with fireworks.  The Jewel Boys were a large farm family that were renowned for their musical talents.  The seven brothers came together to play a variety of music from bluegrass, to country, to hillbilly rock and of course old time ballads and standards.  They had been a local draw for years.  I smiled as I watched Jake helping them set up, eyes just twinkling as he looked over their gear and guitars.  The dark navy of his blazer set off the auburn that was in his hair as it fell across his shoulders and back.  I had not seen him smile like that in a very long time.  It was his realm.  Music.  He belonged to it in such a way that although we all saw it in Martin’s, but on the few occasions I had seen him on a gig - it made me wonder if he belonged in another life.  A life that he was born to be on the stage for all to see.

      He waved at me while I gathered up the mayor for their big thank you for coming speech.  Mayor Pauley smiled and waved as Jake tried to hand her a microphone, giving up and just grabbing hold of her hand to place it directly in her palm.  Everyone laughed as he backed away dramatically and she continued on with the task of introductions and welcomes and thank yous.  I took my bow when she mentioned me and the business committee that made the whole event possible.  Upon completion, she introduced the Jewel Boys to an uproar of applause.  People crowded the dancefloor and the surrounding area just to watch the spectacle.  I admit, I rode the edge.  It was enough to just watch everyone else have fun.

      I took note that Jeanette was dancing with friends, her face all lit with light as Jake stayed on stage, playing mandolin for the first few songs.  I wondered if she saw what I did when he played like this.  He was not just Jake.  He was the kind of beautiful that you could see the music was seeping out of his pores and absolute joy shone in his eyes.  He was effortlessly golden.  

      I chatted with those around me, just appreciating the music and the happy mood that clung to the air.  Jake took his bow and introduced the next song before taking off to be at Jeanette’s side.  I caught his gaze for a few moments.  His gravity was strong, yanking me across the distance.  I forced myself to move away and instead, I turned to find Mr. Henry, asking me to dance.  How could I say no to that handsome man?

      I found myself belly laughing as Henry serenaded me as we danced.  He was amazing.  Somehow, just before the song ended, though, I found myself face to face with Jake.  He had tapped on Henry’s shoulder to interrupt.  The band slipped into some bouncy pop song that we were completely silly to.  It just felt good to see my friend cut loose.  Just as I was about to bow out, the next song swooned across the masses.  The space on the floor suddenly widened as a slow melody took root to swish away the singles and welcome the couples.

     “The Nearness of You” was a soft spot for me, and Jake knew it.  He glanced over his shoulder for a moment before stepping in close to bring my body close to his.  We shuffled across the floor, our eyes upon each other as he hummed along the notes.  To be held to him so close made my heart feel sick.  My skin longed for his caress.  I let out a nervous laugh as he softly sang the first words…

     It’s not the pale moon that excites me

     That thrills or delights me

     Oh no

     It’s the nearness of you…

     He turned me gently.  He held me tenderly.  When I looked at his face, I could see our path stretch out, coming back together just as it was supposed to be.  His gravity wrapped around me and mingled with mine.  For a moment, I thought for sure we were the only ones dancing within that most perfect of memory.  I could feel his heart racing as my fingers came to rest on his chest.  I’m sure he knew my breath was coming way too fast.  I smiled as a soft hum rippled through him - familiar and warm and…  As the notes faded, he closed his eyes as a breath escaped from between his lips.  

     And then it was done.  That moment.  It was like one of those moments where you’re instantly questioning if it happened the second it is over.  Our bodies stopped and started to move away from each other.

     “Mandy, look at me,”  he whispered when I could not lift my chin to even smile a thank you.

      “I can’t,”  I said, my chest choking on so many words that wanted to pour out.  It was neither the time, nor the venue to do so.  “I have to go, Jake.”

      The last words of my little girl journal struck me as I walked away.  You would think that these words were full of venom and hate and betrayal and confusion.  Though the words were full of fire, they contained none of it.  It was lament.  Lament for what was in front of Jake at that time.  A sorrow.  A concern for only him in what he was facing.  Nothing of me.  Nothing of my hurt.  It was like the moment of cauterization of our relationship all over again.  We were both healthy.  We were both happy.  Was there just too much scar tissue to allow us a way back to each other?  It was undeniable that there was still love.  A deep love that flowed like an underground current through us both.  

     I drifted away feeling very much like I had left myself behind with him.  I had to focus on my next task to finish the night and leave the moment behind.  The chill in the air danced across my skin and realized that there was dampness on my face.  Wiping at my cheeks, I had no idea why there needed to be tears.  I caught sight of Jeanette as she and Jake were walking towards the staging for the fireworks.  She had a smile that seemed off.  I wondered if she had seen it.  Seen me being an absolute juvenile while dancing with a man she was obviously so right for, even if I did not want to admit it to myself.

      When the night was over, and I was sliding into my bed, I grabbed hold of my pillow and hugged it tight.  I was feeling those threads, that current strangling me in a way that was forcing me to see very clearly:  I needed to say goodbye.  It was time.  My relationship with Jake had shaped me for over twelve years.  Twelve years that we were not together.  It was foolhardy to hold a standard of what I had for a fleeting six months to anything that I could possibly treasure now.  Treasure that I could have as my own and grow away from Jake.  He needed to have what was right in front of him - a good woman who so loved him in a way that was nice to see him have.  I did not need to fuck with that.  Perhaps it was time to finally heal the last bit of wound that was there and move on.

Jake POV

     To watch Amanda walk away from me with tears in her eyes hurt.  Deeply.  I yanked myself together like a patchwork quilt and returned to my spot to watch the rest of the music set.  Jeanette seemed to sense a drift and stayed away until it was time for fireworks.  Her touch was warm as we walked side by side down into the park by the river.  We found my folks and Ronnie, Dave and the kids.  I was knee deep in my nephews and niece; a welcomed respite from the thoughts that troubled me.

     I had taken Jeanette home after the festivities, leaving her with a kiss at her door as she was supposed to be on shift at seven the next morning.  I took a moment, standing in my boxers in my kitchen, a glass of water between my fingers, to play back the moment that I had her next to me, against me.  I could feel her warmth still.  My heart was angry with it.  My breath was tainted with it.

     I pretended to be normal for a week.  Jeanette was on a week from hell, covering shifts while working her own.  Our contact was me dropping off plates of food and phone calls that lasted moments.  I could tell she was holding something back.  We had not taken the time to really get into her upset from a few weeks back.  We merely had fallen back in step of our comfort.  

      Saturday evening brought her around to my place for a dinner date.  I was going to take her to a little cafe that we had stumbled upon closer to Flint.  I figured getting out of town would be good.  Just a little space and a long evening would be good.  However, when she landed on my doorstep, I knew we were going nowhere.  Instead, I made a pot of coffee and sat with her in the living room.  I could feel her defenses were up, despite her smile and warmth that danced in her eyes.  

      After our pleasantries and catching up from a busy week, the silence beat for a bit too long.  She seemed to be mulling over her words.  I did not want to tread forward until she was ready because I truly did not know how to broach the subject that seemed to weigh on her and I did not want to force it.

      “You know, Jake,”  she started, the corner of her mouth pulling up into a half smile, “when I was young, I watched how my grandparents looked at each other.  My grandfather had the absolute audacity to look at my grandmother like she was the queen of his whole world.  I was brought up to think I deserved that kind of love.  And there are so many around here that have that.  You ever notice that?  Mr. Henry and Ada.  Lord, your folks have it in spades.  I’ve dreamt of being that for someone.  I know I had it with Gabe.  I don’t want to be selfish, but I would like to have that again.”

      I felt my stomach drop to my feet.  I knew what she was talking about.  It clicked.

      “You have to admit, these past few years have been amazing,”  she said quietly.  “I’ve hoped to have…  I’ve hoped that you could have been my person, Jake.  But truth is, that’s not going to happen.”

      “Jeanette,”  I managed, trying to reach for her hand.

      “I love you, Jake,”  she breathed out, the words tangling up in her throat.  “I know you care very much for me-”

      “Hey.”  I stopped her, my heart swelling as I reached for her hand.  “You can’t say I’ve not loved you.”

      She grinned sadly.  “Thank you.  You’re right.  You have.  But Sunday I realized something.  Amanda Fischer has been your person for so long.  You still want her.  And that’s okay.  I know that what we have has been so special to me.  I think we’ve been good to get over some pretty hard stuff, haven’t we?”

      I perked my eyebrow at her sentiment.  She was correct.  It had been years since I had felt as whole as I had in recent days and weeks.  It was like I was a clean slate with only hints of fissures and glued together cracks of what I was in the past that were just barely visible.  She had made that possible.

      “I better go,”  she said, her voice growing strong.  “Thank you for everything, Jacob.”

      I tugged on her hand to bring her close.  “Thank you, Jeannette.”

      I kissed her softly and pulled her into a hug.  It was not a mourning of parting that I felt.  Instead, it was the opposite.  I felt like we were celebrating.  Like we were graduating beyond our grief; our damage.  She felt it, too.  I watched as she left and absorbed the quietness that she left behind.  It was not a bad thing.  It was mine.

I’ll see you next Wednesday for the final chapter and epilogue.  💚  

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[venus-is-thinking]

Deciphering the DRDT Character Playlist

Hello DRDT community! @accirax and I took a look at the official character song playlist [remade version bc it got deleted or privated] and decided to take our own shot at figuring out whose is whose and what it means. It's pretty late, but we have at least some sort of a guess with reasoning for every song!

We used a combination of Genius lyrics, the vocaloid lyrics wiki, and google translation of Japanese lyrics in the YouTube description to get a decently functional interpretation of every song. Our theory goes through the songs in the order they show up on the playlist (we're pretty positive it isn't kill order), which means our confidence varies heavily from song to song. With that being said, let's go!

Diamond is Unbreakable by Yunno Kago: Ace Markey

This song does not have many lyrics, so a lot of our guess is based on vibes (though it gives much more than some other songs). The rock instrumental with more yell-based vocals feels like it suits Ace though, and I feel safe to say that Ace has had a breakdown (and may have many more in the future).

Sing Along by Sturgill Simpson: Teruko Tawaki

This song fits Teruko quite well. It has an edgier sound to it, but it isn't completely uncaring if you look at the lyrics.

I can't go on living alone now that you're gone You done me wrong, so here's your song

It reminds me of the scene where she plays with the cacti. She clearly misses Xander (and possibly others in her past), but that obviously doesn't stop her from feeling betrayed by them either.

There are a lot of lyrics about bitterness too (ex. "words can stab as deep as night," "bitter air and the winds of spite"), which reflect how Teruko has been treating the rest of the cast in Chapter 2. It's a duality of caring too much and acknowledging the harshness of the world, which encapsulates Teruko's character quite well.

RUNAWAY by half alive: Hu Jing

Not gonna lie, we were struggling on this one. This song is pretty much entirely predictive of a character arc that Hu might have later on. We're predicting this based on Hu's secret quote, which is basically the only reason we gave this song to her: "I want to pay for what I've done. But even then, I still want to live."

This implies that she has not paid for "what [she's] done," which probably relates to her secret. I know a lot of people think she might be the hopeless child, but I'm far more partial to the theory that Hu is the one who poisoned her competition. If she hasn't paid for it, it's possible she feels like she ran away, from the situation which could open the door for her handling those feelings later on.

cartoons by Louie Zong: Rose Lacroix

This entire song is about drawing and thought processes, which both relate to Rose's character pretty strongly. The recurring lyric of "it's all just cartoons in [her] head" makes me think of her photographic memory, which takes real life and permanently stores it in her mind.

There are also lyrics like "feeling every day the same" and "trying to make that old deadline" that strongly relate to her background with the Spurling Foundation. She feels like she's just watching the rest of her life go by as a corporate slave, and those feelings are wrapped up in a light and airy song, matching Rose's demeanor.

asymptotic by Louie Zong: Charles Cuevas

This is a silly little nerd love song. As a CharWhit shipper, I definitely think that there's a strong chance that this relates to Charles' feelings about Whit, calling him a "cutie face in x-y space" and other such things. It's pretty simple, but it's true that, romantic or not, a lot of Charles' character arc thus far has revolved around his relationship with Whit and realizing that he does enjoy spending time with his classmates.

However, notably, there's also the lyric "I'll forget," which made me start thinking about Charles' past he forgot about.

Asymptotic, obliquely Here's the point of this speech As close as we could ever get, you'll be just out of reach

This reads to me as being about Charles' memories or the older brother he doesn't remember losing. As close as he can get to remembering or understanding what happened through things like the secrets motive, it won't be the same as actually returning to that past or remembering it in full. Maybe that's reading into things a little too hard, but I think the interpretation is there to be read.

A Mistaken Belief of Love by Niru Kajitsu: Eden Tobisa

I'll be direct: this relates to our theories about how Eden is the Chapter 2 killer. I'm a particular proponent of the interpretation that Eden didn't believe Arei when she said she wanted to be friends and decided she wanted to escape back to her old life, to the girl she kissed. I'm not going to go into that Eden theory now, but @/1moreff-creator and @/thebadjoe have a great thread going back and forth which goes over a lot of what I personally believe to be true.

If you assume that Eden is the killer and wanted to be Arei's friend but gave up on the possibility when Arei snapped at her, the lyrics start to make sense. "Then I'll kill you at our rendezvous" would clearly relate to Eden summoning Arei to the playground just to kill her. "I just wanted to mistakenly believe that you loved me" relates to Eden's feelings towards Arei and the rest of the class, but that "mistaken belief" was shattered, causing her to kill.

Shunran by John/TOOBOE: Arei Nageishi

This song chronicles Arei's entire character arc, from prologue to death. It starts out much more aggressive and unfriendly, saying things like "I won't pay attention to small fry" and "I become angry easily." However, there's a recurring lyric that shows how she actually feels.

They say that praying to be loved is a sin. It has such a sweet scent.

Arei desperately wants to be loved, for people to be nice to her, but she's learned over the course of her life that she couldn't have that. Still, she can't help but want to be loved, so even when she knows that David is a manipulator, she still listens to his words. Even when she knows she's been awful to Eden, she swears she'll do anything to prove to Eden that she's serious, that she really does want to be her friend.

I pledged a ceasefire. My personality peeled off and fell because I have the courage to accept disappointment

As the song progresses, that desperate desire to be loved creeps its way into the actions the singer takes as well. Arei was willing to put aside her meanness she learned as a defense and try to stop the fighting, try to become friends, because she's strong enough to try even if she might fail. Through it all, all she wants is to be loved.

Yesman by Niru Kajitsu and Hachiya Nanashi: Nico Hakobyan

This song has a lot of lyrics relating to how the singer expresses scorn or insults. We know that this is a focal point of Nico's struggles with communication: they don't know what comes across as hostile or helpful.

However, as the song progresses, it gets more purposefully aggressive. There's a particular set of lines that seem to relate to how Nico interacts with Ace. They can tell Ace that they hate him, directly, and no one even blames them.

You could say that and you're still just a kid. How amazing!

This, in my mind, relates to Nico saying that they'll kill Ace (and clearly meaning it), but Hu still babies them. They can get away with all kinds of things.

There's no reason for me to turn back now, huh? I was caught in my own trap

Nico then, realizing that they can get away with a lot, goes after Ace, trying to literally kill him. They were caught, though, explaining the second lyric here.

The song also has a prominent lyric: "I'm an introvert, just waiting." There are variations on this, but I think it gets across the core idea: Nico is quiet, but they're still a part of the story the whole time, waiting for an opportunity to get their way.

Undead Enemy by Suzumu and Giga P: David Chiem

This song hinges around David's false persona of smiles and motivation and his true self who hates everything and everyone.

For whatever reason, he put on a mask symbolizing The leading role he had yearned for in the past.

Here, David is choosing to put on that motivational speaker persona.

And, from the next day onward, The unhappy boy's smile did not falter, He was even loved by someone

David then keeps up that happy and inspirational self, without fail, so that the world will love and accept him as the Ultimate they expect him to be.

However, the lyrics are filled with more hateful lines that sound more like him in Episode 11.

Slander and criticize, and then, I won't need anyone else. Just leave me alone

I act spitefully in disgust and force a smile

While he pretends to be happy and good, he knows himself to be much worse. This song focuses on those true colors.

Drawing Pins by Nothing but Thieves: Levi Fontana

Levi is a very pensive character. The main line of the song is "tell me what you did it for, 'cause I can't figure it out." That could relate to Levi's apparent struggles to understand others and what the "correct" thing to do in social situations is, like when he asks others how to handle the situation with Ace. I also like the interpretation that he could be talking to himself, wondering why he did what he did in the past. (Whatever mysterious past Levi has, it's clear that he did some things he's not thrilled about, and he seems to have a lot of feelings surrounding it.)

What do I have to do To be loved, loved by you

I'm personally not an AceVi shipper, but this line would definitely relate to Ace. Levi messed up in the first trial, threatening Ace, but in Chapter 2, he's trying to make up for it. Nothing he seems to do works, though, so he's at a loss as to what he could possibly do to make it up to him.

Hi-Fi Evolution Theory by Keu Studio: Veronika Grebenshchikova

Disclaimer, we had to put this song through google translate, so our lyrics might not be entirely correct.

Given that, though, I'm pretty confident this song must be Veronika's. There are a lot of lyrics that indicate her, but the most important ones surround what we've most recently learned about her: she can't stand boredom and will do just about anything for fun.

But is it selfish to have fun?

The one who laughs last is the winner

Even though Veronika knows that enjoying the killing game or possibly even working against the group's best interests in it is stupid at best and evil at worst, she'll still do it as long as it keeps her entertained. If she's selfish, she's selfish; she'll do it either way.

tip toes by half alive: Min Jeung

This song heavily ties into Min's outlook which she explains in her bonus episode. The lyrics mention a "need to be known," or a "pride" that's "screaming." She internalized a core need to become an Ultimate to keep her going forward and to preserve her hope.

She does want to change her behavior, though.

My future will listen to me, Listen to me, listen to me

Min is trying desperately to find a life for herself now that she's become an Ultimate. She wants to learn how to live after she's achieved the goal that her entire life has centered around. This song is her searching for the life that she wants to live in spite of her previous experience.

The song also sounds sort of desperate with its repetition of "listen to me" and the overall vibe of the instrumental. This fits in with Min's increasing desperation as she realizes, at the end of the first trial, that she won't have a future to figure out anymore.

Polygonal by fallstay (ふぁるすてぃ): Xander Matthews

This one was also put through google translate, so apologies for any mistranslations!

This song makes sense for Xander if you consider his clear survivor's guilt, visible through both his bonus episode and his secret quote, which is, in the most literal way possible, the dictionary definition of survivor's guilt. It mentions a "life full of mistakes" and describes other similar thoughts.

I'm dizzy and it hurts so much that I feel like throwing up

The urge to scream and someone's loud sobbing

That's my pain

These all feel like ways Xander interprets his past, which is his pain. We already know that Teruko accidentally running into him and hitting his eye hurt so badly he passed out, which is a step beyond "dizzy." Someone could be sobbing about his past; maybe it's even him. The things in his past that haunt him are what shape who he is and his actions, and that's what this song is about.

Spitfire (05 Version) by The Prodigy: J Rosales

This one has like one lyric. The vibes fit J though, and I don't really know who else's it would be or what other song would be hers, so it stays.

desk rotation by RQ laji-2: Arturo Giles

I'm not gonna lie. This is an instrumental. We have no idea what it means. This was process of elimination. I don't know what other song Arturo's would be so he gets this one.

(In all seriousness, you COULD give this one to Hu because it's music and she's a musician, give Arei the more hopeful RUNAWAY and give Arturo Shunran. The beginning of Shunran fits him decently, but I think the interpretation sort of falls apart in the middle of the song, at least given what I know about his character, and I think it fits Arei much better.

After we read some other theories, too, we think there's a viable shuffle that goes like this:

desk rotation: Hu (musical connection) tip toes: Arturo (generally prideful, future emphasis contrasting with his secret forcing him to think about the past) asymptotic: Min (abstracted to apply to the life she wants to seek out, math works as Ultimate Student) RUNAWAY: Charles (relating to him "running" from his past memories, positive growth arc)

While I still like our initial interpretations for Charles asymptotic and Min tip toes, I like the handling of RUNAWAY and desk rotation better with this one.)

For whatever it's worth, I also think there's a slight possibility that desk rotation is a placeholder song. It's a complete instrumental (all other songs have at least SOME lyrics), so it wouldn't be too insane to me if they had a song that they decided was just too spoiler-y to be released to the public. In that case, I think it's possible desk rotation will one day be replaced with a different song. Realistically, though, it's probably just here and we have to figure out what the hell it means.

Good Grief by Bastille: Whit Young

Whit obviously lost his mother at some point, who he clearly idolizes. You can see the glowing way he talks about her in the laundry room with Teruko and Charles, and his secret quote is literally "We tend to idolize the dead." He loves his mother, but given his secret, it's clear that she is dead.

This song is about grief. Whit represses a lot of his emotions, so I expect he hasn't yet felt his grief in full and hasn't processed it. He has, however, made it very clear that he struggles with loneliness, and that has a lot to do with his loss. I think that, over the course of the story, he's going to have to actually process grief and experience sadness. While it's possible that'll just be due to the feelings he has surrounding his mother, given that he's in a killing game, I think that he'll have to confront personal loss again to have this arc.

Regrettably, I think that that'll probably come in the form of Charles dying, likely as a Chapter 3 victim. Others have theorized on that, but suffice it to say that, narratively and based on hints they've dropped, I think it's probably true ( :( ). Whit, as he clearly cares about Charles, would then be confronted with grief again. He'd have to endure it and learn to deal with the loss.

On the plus side, I'd expect he'd be likely to survive afterwards.

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #ace markey #teruko tawaki #hu jing #rose lacroix #charles cuevas #eden tobisa #arei nageishi #nico hakobyan #david chiem #levi fontana #veronika grebenshchikova #min jeung #xander matthews #j rosales #arturo giles #whit young #theory #long post #fanganronpa #drdt spoilers #accirax collab #accirax made the graphics and we wrote this together so shout out to her #we literally screamed over desk rotation for like half an hour #if i listen to good grief one more time i WILL cry

[panda-writes-kpop]

Can you do a Billlie as your gf please? Thank you

Billie as Your GF

a/n: thank you for the request anon!! also, happy 2024 (first post of the year wooo!). ❤️ hope you love this request.

tw: none!

♡ Masterlist ♡

Moon Sua:

the best hype woman, she's always cheering you on in school, in your professional life, or at home (the latter is to mostly tease/annoy you)

incredibly sweet and caring, she's doting to an extreme extent at some points. You'll have to remind her to take care of herself instead of always focusing on you

will make the first move to hold your hand or hug/kiss you if you're too shy to do so

Suhyeon:

she’s always trying to make you laugh with her impersonations, but she ends up getting shy or making herself laugh before she can even crack you.

you’re a sucker for her smile, and you’d do or buy anything in order to keep her happy. (she’s so pretty!!)

sometimes she’ll just hold your hand or loop your arm in hers so she can be close to you

Haram:

she will forever adore you if you get her a gift in pink, especially if it matches with something that you own!

likes to offer you her food if she has any, but she'll insist on feeding it to you herself

she's a big jokester and tease - if you're a good sport about it, she may allow you to kiss her after the third attempt instead of the fourth

Tsuki:

a cute disaster of a person - if she's going to do something with you, it has to be done with as much chaos and cuteness as possible.

she's an extrovert at heart, meaning that you two are either twin souls that love being around people all of the or you're two completely different people who adore each other regardless

Tsuki is a natural model - she looks fabulous in every picture you take of her (your photo gallery is filled with her), and she tries (and ultimately fails) to give you tips on how to look just as good as she does.

Sheon:

ever the planner, Sheon is the one executing every date night, making sure that everything goes to plan and you'll both have a fun night together

Sheon likes to practice writing lyrics about your relationship and will happily serenade you with love songs while playing the guitar or piano

due to her puppy-like personality, she's always clinging to you or making cute faces at you in order to get what she wants (it always works because you're a sucker for her)

Siyoon:

she's much calmer than her other members, so dates are low-key and casual, like walks through a park or coffee shop meet-ups

if you watch movies with anything sad in it, she'll be clinging onto you for dear life while sniffling. (she swears that cuddles are the only thing that makes her feel better)

loves to do self-care for not only you, but herself as well. Before you know it, you'll be wearing a skin mask and drinking herbal tea while you watch a movie together.

Haruna:

will pull you back to bed if you try to get up. If you two are together, it's rare that you're up before noon if Haruna has anything to say about it.

naturally adorable in the way she acts, you can't help but give into her demands for more kisses and cuddles when she just acts as she does

loves to go shopping with you, but you two end up buying things for each other instead of getting anything on your shopping list

#kpop x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop #kpopidol #kpop fanfic #kpop gg #girl group imagines #girl group scenarios #girl group x reader #girl group #girl group fanfic #kpop girls #billlie scenarios #billlie x reader #billlie imagines #billlie #moon sua x reader #suhyeon x reader #haram x reader #tsuki x reader #sheon x reader #siyoon x reader #haruna x reader

[brassknucklespeirs]

Nᴏ Sʜᴀᴍᴇ [Jᴏsᴇᴘʜ Lɪᴇʙɢᴏᴛᴛ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ]

Genre: Angst and smut with a smidge of fluff

Warning: Smut (18+), general HBO war warnings so language, pretty bad family upbringings (haha mommy and daddy issues am i right?), reader does walk all over Joe ngl but she’s learning, if you read between the lines then talks of using sex as a coping mechanism, borderline cheating? idk

Prompt: Requested by @softguarnere​ “No Shame (also by 5SOS because I'm obsessed) with Liebgott?”

A/N: I’m real sorry this isn’t edited or even proof read yet so bare with me, just wanted to post the damn thing cause it’s driving me insane. Isn’t quite as good as i wanted it to be so it’s got me going mad

This is based from the lyrics of ‘No Shame’ by 5 Seconds of Summer but i have cut some of the lines that i couldn’t work with so be aware, the song is not complete. This is the first attempt at me using song lyrics as prompts so please enjoy. 

Angel, with the gun in your hand,

pointing my direction, giving me affection

Joe had been taken immediately by the new female replacement that walked through the pub door that night, a look of awe crossing his face as she sauntered in, flashing a smug smirk at all of the men who watched her with shock. Most of them had met the woman prior to her appearance at their usual drinking spot in Aldbourne but most had not wrapped their heads around it all, especially when the military grade skirt distracted them from processing anything. 

Y/N wandered slowly over to a table that sat Guarnere, Toye and Babe after grabbing a drink from the bar, jumping into a conversation with them immediately after pushing herself under Babe’s arm. The two were close after training together for so long, their friendship staying sound after their combined placement into Easy company. Babe had made quick friends with Bill Guarnere and with that came the acceptance of the woman into the man’s good books before she had even been fully introduced to him. Joe Toye had been hesitant about Y/N but took to her quickly after watching her smack the attitude out of a private from Fox company who had spoken down to her, the two clicked instantly after that. 

The group of mix and match soldiers at the table grew as the night went on, men coming and going to converse with her as she accepted drink after drink, mostly thanks to George Luz and Floyd Talbert. The original four of them sat together laughing like old friends reunited, with Babe blushing while under the scrutiny of Bill when asked why he friend-zoned such a darling dame such as Y/N. The woman in question smirked into her drink while watching him glance at her for help before deciding to tease the poor boy.

“Why did you decide to do that Babe? Damn near broke my heart.” He shot her a pointed look after she said it, giving her a gentle squeeze to the waist.

“You’re a piece of work.” He muttered to her.

It was between these comments being passed around that she had caught a pair of eyes watching her from the corner of the bar, with his companion, Skinny Sisk, failing to turn his eyes away from the woman no matter how much he tried to. She turned away, taking another sip of her drink, once again hiding her smirk before she made direct eye contact with Toye, who licked his tongue over his lips while he sent her a sly smile. She squinted her eyes at hi teasingly to which he just raised an eyebrow in question. The woman shrugged, taking another quick glance over to see Liebgott was still watching her in interest. Toye and Y/N silent conversation went unnoticed by the others, who were too busy seeing Babe turn more red by the second as Bill hounded him with vulgar questions.

The night continued on like this for a while, and aside from the dance or two that Y/N shared with Luz, the woman barely left her seat, so engrossed in the atmosphere she was enjoying. The rush of alcohol hadn’t taken over her completely but it certainly made her feel good as she chatted happily to the men before her. It was in that moment that she’d been talking animatedly to Tab that she saw Liebgott over the man’s shoulder. She nodded her head as if she was listening to the Kokomo boy when really her focus had been on the man behind him. Their gazes met for a moment, enough time for her to send a smirk his way before he slipped out the door. The woman turned back to Tab before politely excusing herself for some ‘fresh air’. 

The cool english air hit the exposed skin on her neck as soon as she left the comfort of the bar causing a shiver to trail her spine. It was mostly dark outside aside from a flicker of flame that came from beside her, her eyes curiously turning to the figure she knew was there.

“Are you going to continue watching me for the rest of the night or will you be finding the balls to come and talk to me?” Y/N spoke so confidently, yet the darkness shrouded the smirk that fell on the man’s lips in that moment.

“Trust me darlin’, I ain’t needing to find no balls. I haven’t lost ‘em you see. You can even check if you want?” The woman let out a quiet snort which led to Joe letting out an amused huff.

“That was bad.” She replied, stepping towards him while lighting her own cigarette. The man inhaled while nodding his head, sticking the unoccupied hand in his pocket.

“Yeah it certainly wasn’t my best.” He said with a chuckle. She smiled at him then, no longer a sly smirk but more an amused curl of her lips.

“Give me another one then.” The man looked as pensive as he could before a yawn suddenly escaped his mouth, the hand holding his cigarette moving to cover it. Y/N raised an eyebrow at him, amused by what she thought was his lack of focus on her.

“Tired already? Or is my presence boring you?” She teased.

“Nah, it’s not you doll-face. You see I’ve been having trouble sleeping recently.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, can’t sleep by myself you see. Maybe you could sleep with me?” Joe said before looking up at her, his eyebrows raised as he waited for her consensus.

“Ah, you had me there for a minute.”

“Was it better though?” He pushed, bumping his hip into hers while she took a drag of her smoke.

“Eh, it wasn’t the worst I’ve heard.”

“Damn, the lady has high standards.”

“No, not high standards, just lots of experience.” Y/N said with a unbothered shrug.

“Maybe you’d like to share some experience with me?”

“That one was a little better.” She said while laughing, causing the man to look at her with his own genuine smile.

“I’ll be here all night.” He exclaimed, giving a small bow for effect.

“Or you could be in my bed all night?” She threw his way, her lips pursed to withhold her smirk.

“Oh, we have a competition here?” His smirk widened across his face as he pulled the cigarette away from his face, dropping it to the ground to smoulder.

“As I said, lots of experience.” She replied, a smirk rivalling his growing over her lips. Joe shook his head in amusement before moving to stand directly before her, his warm breath making her cold cheeks tingle. 

“Well doll-face, me and you are definitely gonna get along.” He flashed her a wink before stepping towards the door of the pub once more. He turned to glance at her over his shoulder as he realised she hadn’t moved from her spot. “Coming?” 

Love is fatal, 

won't you give it a chance?

Y/N clutched the letter between tense fingers, her nails slowly tearing into the paper as a sneer made it’s way to her blue lips. Another day, another letter from her mother, and another from her father. Seperate letters from seperate people yet holding almost identical messages. There was no questions of how she was, where she was, what she’d been up to. She was great by the way, freezing her ass off in a blizzard of a forest with the constant blasts of artillery blowing the trees to smithereens, thanks for asking. Hell, she would have been happier to recount every gruesome and traumatising kill she’d made since dropping into the war in intense detail than have to reply to them regarding their problems. 

Your mother did this again; I wish i’d never met him; She’s getting on my last fucking nerve; He’s the worst man i’ve ever met; She’s lucky I go away so often on business trips; Business trips my ass, he’s still cheating so i’ll be sure to do the same; Nasty piece of work she is; He’s lucky his money is more attractive than he is.

An aching pain enveloped her chest, causing her to bite into her lip to hold back the emotions that threatened to spill from her eyes. She could never understand it, why a child should have to listen to the immaturities of their parents who were in no means compatible, it wasn’t like she’d asked for them to birth her in a bid to save their already abysmal marriage. Fat lot that did anyway. She was the kid for fuck sake, so why must she be the one that has to baby them. 

Her parents had always been like this; jealous, spiteful, childish people. Once she had believed it had been her fault, maybe her appearance on the family tree had caused a rift between them. Now she knew that wasn’t the case, especially after the history lessons from extended family members that they’d always been like that, they were just heedless to one another; always had been, always would be. The question had been asked so many times, whispers in the dark of why they even bothered to stay if it wasn’t working. There were two reason for this, one from each side and sadly neither being her. Her mother was a beautiful woman, covered in beautiful garments, driving beautiful cars, seen at only the most beautiful of places; beautifully expensive. Her father was a successful man, with a successful job, a successful marriage and a successful reputation; a successful lie. Her mother was greedy, money hungry and spiteful while her father was envious, power hungry and short tempered. The money was enough for her mother to stay and the dazzling reputation with the chance to be dominant was enough for her father. 

Now don’t go getting her wrong, her parents weren’t bad people, mostly. They both had many redeeming qualities, ones that seemed to shine through in their daughter, however, the bad qualities just happened to be seen more commonly from her point of view. They did love her underneath all of that malice. She often asked how she, herself, could be so selfish as to think her life was hard when they’d given her a home, all the clothes and trinkets she’d asked for, and paid for an expensive private school. Some may have looked at this with raised eyebrows and questioned whether that was for her or for their reputation, however, Y/N would continue to turn a blind eye, refusing to tarnish the views she had of her parents more than they already do themselves. They’d given her everything she’d ever asked for except for one thing; a loving family. They gave her a home but it was broken, spoilt her with things but they were meaningless, given her an education many would kill for but it was pointless. They were selfish, and they always would be. They may have loved her but they loved themselves more. 

Y/N had woken up to this now, no longer pulling a cover over her eyes in hopes she could keep the good parts of her parents and ignoring the bad. Now, she had her own feeling of malice. Her upper lip twitched as she let the anger take over, grasping at the top of the paper with both hands and tearing it down the middle. She continued to rip the letter until it was just tiny pieces in her palms, letting it blow away with the wind that swept past her with a huff of resentment. She’d gone so long pretending things were okay in hopes they would be eventually, but she had grown up now, seeing death and war and hatred on a scale she never thought she’d ever have to. Growing up wasn’t a choice here, it was a requirement; just another condition of war.

“Can practically see the steam coming outta your ears, must be a hot mess up in that head of yours.” Came a voice from behind her, a pair of boots coming to a halt at the edge of the dug in pit.

“You know me Joey, just fighting the enemies in my brain the same as I do in the field.” She teased with a smirk, trying to throw him off asking further as to her sudden burst of rage. He rolled his eyes at her, knowing her enough to know what she was doing, dropping down into the frozen foxhole beside her and pulling her into his side. Her eyes stayed on the line, yet her rifle lowered as she let herself slip under his arm for a bit of warmth and comfort.

“What’s eatin’ yah doll?” He muttered into her hair, her eyes unseeing to the way he looked down at her with such adoration.

“The less you know the better.” She hadn’t meant the comment in anyway against him, quite the opposite actually yet the words seemed to sting like salt in a wound. A part of her was trying to protect him from the absolute chaos of her broken family, but all he could hear was a woman in refusal of his care. He ran his tongue across his teeth, holding himself back from snarking something at her like he usually would to anyone else. The problem was that she wanted him to say something, anything to ease her aching chest, however both seemed to be met with disappointment. They’d continued to sit there together, pressed against one another for just a little bit of heat while they both found themselves lost in their own thoughts; her about her fucked up family and him about the woman snuggled against his side.

Center of attention,

don't you ask me any questions

The fight in Foy had been rough and though it had rewarded them with the show of a new CO in Captain Speirs, it had also taken from them several casualties, one of which was Y/N. It hadn’t been a big deal compared to others but the ricochet wound to the shoulder and bullet graze to the neck had the woman cursing the most colourful words as she shoved herself to the wall of a building, away from sight of the sniper.

The aid station had been worse than the pain of her wounds. The cries of dying men calling from their mothers, the squelching of blood as nurses were stuck up to their elbows in someone’s torso to pinch an artery, and the mumbled prayers to God to save the men who were honestly already too far gone made up a harmonious symphony of pain and suffering. A sour taste invaded Y/N’s mouth as she sat there getting her wounds wrapped, her eyes travelling over as many of the men around her as she could before settling on the nurse in front of her. She was beautiful, and aside from the dirt, grime and blood that covered certain parts of her skin and uniform, the woman had looked like an angel sent from the heavens. Y/N had watched her closely as she worked on mending her injured shoulder, whispering sweet nothings into her ear as she’d winced in pain. She had imagined the feeling of this woman being her mother, caring, tentative, gentle, throwing her own mind into a world completely made up to ease the pain that plagued her mind. 

Y/N returned to her company the three days later after an argument with the same nurse she’d watched with awe. She fought with her words rather than her rifle but fight she did to be let go from the aid station, using the point that if she was able to stand, move, and grasp at things without difficulty and only a little pain than she was simply a wasted body taking up a bed needed for someone else. The nurse had pursed her lips with an angry huff and shake of her head before storming off, letting the woman walk off with a smirk on her face. That was more like the actions of the mother she knew.

She looked on as the trucks pulled up in the distance before her, a smile rising to her lips as she caught sight of her platoon jumping from them. She spotted Joe and Babe chatting to one another and sighed in relief about her best two boys being safe before jumping from the jeep that had pulled up behind the line of four wheelers. The urge to run to the two men had filled her but she held herself back and focussed on her mission to find Winters or Speirs and inform them of her inevitable return. 

The woman made her way into the building that had been pointed out to her to be headquarters, her feet stomping against the wood to rid herself of the icy snow that caked itself to her boots as she entered. Three familiar faces were present in the room she walked into, as well as one unfamiliar one. 

“Lip, I told you those cigarettes were going to catch up to you.” Y/N teased as she witnessed the man hack up the mucus from his lungs, moving to him to gently pat his back and run her fingers through his slightly damp hair. He smiled up at the woman, pulling her onto the couch beside his legs to keep her down.

“Very funny Y/N. Now what the hell are you doing back here? You should be at the aid station.” He replied, his voice tired and husky. She shrugged her shoulders, wincing as she forgot about the stitched wound on one before tucking Lip in with the blanket Luz had just placed over the man’s body.

“Nurses said I had to come back and look after my boys before they lost it without me. Though in all honesty, George looks like he’s taken the mantle of ultimate mother hen in our absences.” The man in question raised his hand with a smile from the small kitchenette attached to the room where he had been making Lip a coffee.

“Just making sure you didn’t have a bigger mess to come back to Y/N.”

“How very thoughtful of you sweetheart.” She flashed him a cheeky grin before her eyes moved to the two other figures in the room, her expression dropping slowly.

“Hey Web, long time, no see.” The man nodded at her while replying with a greeting of hello, his eyes looking towards the Lieutenant who stood abnormally upright in the corner, her gaze following. The officer had already been staring at the woman in a well-hidden look of shock or awe, she didn’t know. A small smirk overtook her lips as she eyed him up and down, standing slowly with a hand outstretched.

“You must be the new lieutenant, pleased to meet you Sir.” She almost purred, trying to rile up the fresh meat for a little bit of entertainment. He seemed to stand even straighter as he took her hand, shaking firmly while discreetly trying to figure the woman out with his eyes. He went to open his mouth to reply only for their CO to saunter in, his gaze finding her immediately. Speirs sighed, stopping before her.

“You just can’t stay away can you.”

“You can take the woman out of the war but can’t take the war out of the woman Sir.” He shook his head with the faintest of smirks before nodding towards the door.

“Head back to second, i’m sure they’ll be happy to have you back.”

“Yes Sir.” She said with one final salute before heading towards the door, but not without a last smirk at the new kid, who watched her until she had completely disappeared. Lipton and Luz made eye contact, both with looks of amusement, with Speirs glancing at the two before following their moving gazes to the man. A smirk drew to his lips as he clicked to his eyes following the woman, opening his mouth to voice his thoughts.

“She will eat you up and spit you back out lieutenant. Best not to go there.”

The woman had made it to second platoon’s housing without an issue, ignoring the sound of explosions that weren’t close enough to disrupt her. Following the voices she could hear, she trailed up the stairs, wandering into the room with one shoulder pulled back slightly more than the other as she tried to square them off with confidence. A quiet snort left her nose as she listened to some of the men in a playful argument about who knows what before stepping towards them, unnoticed.

“Ladies, ladies, you’re all pretty, now stop arguing.” She exclaimed causing all the men to turn to her, smiles tugging to their lips as they moved towards her, each with something different to say.

“AYE, she’s back from the dead.”

“How was your vacation sunshine?”

“Looks like you forgot to rest up during your stay at the day spa.”

The woman chuckled at their words before she was cut short by someone tugging her into their arms, careful of her injuries. She inhaled his scent immediately, relaxing under his arm yet her eyes were held squinted over his shoulder at the men behind quietly snickering to themselves. She sent them all a warning with her gaze while he pulled away from her, her expression changing to a dazzling smile as soon as he could see her face once more.

“You miss me Joey?” 

“Piss off doll-face, you know I did.” He replied with a snarky tone but the smile on the corner of his lips said otherwise about his mood. She just looked back at him with a sly tilt of her lips that could rival even his infamous smirk.

“I certainly do.”

Go on and light me like a cigarette,

even if it might be something you regret,

you got me now, now, now,

swallow me down, down, down, down

The new officer had been in Liebgott’s bad books as soon as he’d wandered up the stairs behind Webster. His constantly straying gaze would find the only woman in the room a little too often for Joe’s liking, leading him to hold a unwavering sneer on his face for the rest of the day. His bad mood had impacted everyone, except Y/N of course, with his snarky comments and biting looks giving them a heads up to not push him any further. This lieutenant, however, did not know the solider enough to be able to read the expression of aggravation upon his face. 

Y/N had picked up on the pair of eyes that watched her, a tell tale sign being the smirk that barely left her lips, this sending an even deeper feeling of resentment through Joe’s body. There hadn’t been any meaning behind her previous look at the new kid, it was more of a sizing up of what she had to work with. She had simply been playing a game, no harm done, aside from the fact that there had, in fact, been some harm done. 

Joe had trudged back up the stairs after being dismissed from the patrol across the river in favour of Webster, his mood boosted just the slightest. Y/N had been propped up on a bed upstairs, book in hand as she had been ordered to rest by the extremely persistent Doc Roe. She jumped when Joe threw himself down beside her, so engrossed in the words on the page before her to realise he’d arrived.

“Hey Joey, what’re you doing back here so soon? Thought they needed you for prep for tonight’s patrol?” The man laid his chin on the woman’s shoulder as she asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to understand the words splayed in the book before him.

“Hm? Oh they don’t need me anymore. Looks like you don’t get any ‘me time’ after all. Yah stuck with me for the night.”

“Oh how very disappointing.” She teased. He let out a huff as he side-eyed her over her shoulder. The woman’s mind reeled as she pretended to read her book, her thoughts of the man beside her clearly being pissed at the new kid, and all the reasons that could be for. She made up her mind in that moment, her eyes squinted as she chose her words carefully. 

“I would have loved to spend some one on one time with the greenie in all honesty. That’s a shame.” She tested teasingly, but Joe’s eyes had turned dark immediately, his lips twitching to hold back the sneer that threatened to come back.

“Oh yeah? What’s so interesting about him anyway?”

“Hm, well he’s an officer, a man with power is pretty attractive. He’s got such dreamy eyes too, he really has me blushing any time i catch him staring. And oh my goodness he’s clean and doesn’t smell like shit like the rest of you sorry sods.” The man’s face slowly relaxed as he realised she had been playing with him, rolling his eyes before giving her a gentle shove to her uninjured shoulder.

“You’re such a little tease.” He muttered as he looked down at the woman who’d let her body fall to the bed dramatically as if he’d pushed her much harder. She turned her eyes to him as he made the comment, the slyest of smirks slinking to her lips.

“You haven’t seen nothing yet Joey.” His eyebrows raised at this while discreetly gulping down words he would love to say to her in that moment. His mind tried desperately to capture the imagine of the woman in front of him, her hair splayed out around her like a halo, a cheeky smile pulled to her lips. She watched him carefully, trying to gauge where his head was at as she seemed to lose him for a minute or two. “Joey? Come back to me honey.” She said while sitting up, her face close to his as her eyes wandered his face. He blinked several times, clearing away the haze of his thoughts only to realise how close she had gotten to him. 

Her breath had hitched slightly while their eyes stayed locked, both with pupils blown. He leant down so suddenly to capture her lips that she barely had a chance to react when he pulled away again, his eyes asking if this was okay. She was the one to initiate the second kiss, her hands moving to grasp at his neck to pull him to her, their lips meeting harshly. They lay there for a minute, melting together in their own little world. She had stopped herself short then, her bottom lip grazing his when she pulled back as they stared at each other with wild eyes. I am so going to regret this.

I only light up when cameras are flashing,

never enough and no satisfaction

got no shame,

I love the way you're screaming my name

The room felt significantly warmer than she was used to as she let out another breathy sigh. Her skin was slightly damp, hair sticking to her forehead while she withered under his touch. His fingers had gripped so tightly at her hips that bruises were sure to form, holding her to the bed as she so desperately tried to grind herself forwards to where his head had been tucked in between her thighs. He worshipped the woman, praying to her on his knees like she was a god, her moaning becoming more frequent and higher in pitch as he did.

“JOE!” She screamed his name as she reached her peak, a sharp inhale sounding as her back arched, ignoring the slight pain that she could feel in her shoulder while it pressed into the bed as it added more to the sensations she was feeling. She threw her head back against the mattress, her eyes screwing shut in pure bliss. He had smirked from his place still between her legs while watching her wriggle under his grasp, a proud look on his features. A woman like her deserved only the best, so his best is what he gave her. 

Y/N came down from her high slowly, her breath becoming more regular before her eyes finally opened again. She had glanced down to him just in time to see him wipe his thumb across his lips before taking it in his mouth, sucking it clean. Her stomach clenched hungrily before she leant forward to grab him by the front of his neck, tugging him to her lips. Neither were gentle with each other as their tongues fought harshly against one another. Joe had groaned at the thought of her tasting herself on his lips as his own hand came to grab at her throat. Her naked body lay below the man, the only thing between them being the pair of pants that he had yet to take off himself. Her hands had crept slowly down his body before one slipped under the waistband of the fabric keeping them apart, his breath catching in his throat as she took ahold of him. 

Joe hadn’t been patient, and as soon as her hand had come in contact with him, he had jumped back, ripping the clothes from his body before pressing back against her, completely nude. Y/N moaned as his hardened cock had come in contact with her core, quiet begging leaving her mouth shortly after. The man smirked down at her, his eyes softening at the beauty that was this woman, her pretty pink lips pleading for him to take her. She reached up again, wanting the feeling of his lips on hers once more while her legs moved to wrap around his hips, opening herself up to him fully. They had let out simultaneous moans, and Joe a following curse, as he eased his way into her, hands moving to cup at her breasts, squeezing like his life depended on it. His head came down to rest on her collarbone, her hands moving to the hair on the back of his neck as they sat for a moment, both getting use to the feeling of each other.

“Look so pretty underneath me doll. Taking me so well.” He managed to mutter into her shoulder as he began to thrust carefully, using her face as a gauge of how hard he could push. A curse left her lips, followed shortly by a moan, her mouth hanging open in pleasure causing Joe’s eyes to roll back into his head as he bit at her uninjured shoulder. 

The room echoed with the sounds of heavy breathing and his hips meeting hers as he became relentless, pushing in and out of her with so much power it was almost on the verge of pain. She had relished in the feeling though, her fingernails running down his back harshly as she tried to pull him as close as possible. 

“Fuck Joey.” Y/N mumbled into his ear, his lips pulling to a smirk as his name left her lips so lustfully. 

“Say it again Y/N.”

“Hm?” Was all she could say as it mixed with a moan.

“I want you to say my name again. Scream it.” He said with a particularly harsh thrust, her breath catching in her throat half way through her inhale. A whine left her lips as she proceeded to do as she was told, letting his name tumble from her mouth in between senseless moans as she found herself growing closer and closer to her high. He groaned greedily at the sound, while savouring the feeling of her beginning to clench around him. His hand came to rest back over her throat as he lowered his face to her, pressing a firm kiss to her lips. “Such a good girl for me.” He whispered against her mouth to which she just replied with a whimper and a soft bite to his lower lip. He smiled down at her as he pulled away, his thumb moving from her jugular to her lower lip. 

They had both passed the point of sweaty as the air around them hung with moisture. Joe had felt it as she neared her peak, her body clenching so deliciously around his cock as he continued to pound into her. He whispered to her for her to cum for him while his unoccupied hand moved to rub at her clit. His head had thrown back at the same time as her as he felt a shudder ripple through her body accompanied by a loud scream of his name as she had before. His hips had stuttered while he felt her come undone for him, as he too reached his high, pulling out to release on her breasts. 

Y/N had been the first to come down from her high as she opened her eyes to see Joe fallen beside her, breathing heavily. She had reached over to the floor, picking up the dirty tshirt she had replaced that day with a new uniform, and using it to wipe down her chest. She placed herself back down beside the man as he came back to earth, his eyes turning to meet hers. 

“You, Joey, are one hell of a man.” They smiled at each other before a giggle left her lips as he grabbed her, pulling her to his chest.

“Only for you doll.” He’d mumbled and if she hadn’t have already been so tired from their previous activities, she might have let herself be worried about the sentiment that came with that comment but instead decided to ignore the weird feeling in her stomach. They lay there for several hours, naked bodies pressed to one another as they basked in the feeling of warmth and satisfaction. Joe had watched her as she fell asleep, her head tucked away in his neck while her breath tickled his chest. He had pressed a delicate kiss to her head as he felt himself beginning to slip away; oh how she had caught this man in her web.

Diggin' my grave to get a reaction

changing my face and calling it fashion

got no shame,

I love the way you're screaming my name

Second platoon were finally given some form of respite for a fleeting moment when they arrived to Germany as the trucks drove along the road to their new location. Joe and Y/N sat pressed against one another, exchanging amused small talk and making fun of Webster who sat on the opposite side of the man. The man in question rolled his eyes dramatically before turning to Perconte beside him and muttering a frustrated ‘there’s fucking two of them’, to which they traded similar smirks of entertainment. 

It was when Joe begun talking to Webster about home that Y/N felt herself shrivel up into herself, dismay making a home under her skin. She tried her best to listen while pushing to suppress the feelings that welled up inside her, yet her ears seemed to subconsciously pick up on a piece of conversation leaving Joe’s mouth.

“-then i’m gonna buy a house, a big house, for all the little Liebgott’s we’re gonna be making.” Her stomach seemed to twist with something she couldn’t quite understand at that comment, a strange sense of envy of someone who was but an idea in Joe’s current life. She racked her mind for reasons as to why she was so uneasy, flashes of her parents coming to mind. Memories of the jealousy fuelled fights emerged in front of her, painting a saddening story of two people who shouldn’t be together, thus sending a spike of worry to snake its way to her heart.

He glanced at her after the words left his mouth yet she seemed completely oblivious and stuck in her own head, an action not missed by Webster as he lowered his head to smirk at the two. Joe’s look of longing had quickly turned to a look of concern as he watched her brows crease in confusion and a flicker of something sad seemed to dull her eyes for a moment. An idea made its way to his head while a smile suddenly rose to Joe’s lips as he reached out, proceeding to grab her gently by the waist, his fingers wiggling. A surprised screech left her lips as the tickling sensation began, her mind leaving its tunnel visioned scene to pull her harshly back to reality. She swatted at his hands but he was relentless as laughter filled the air from the both of them, though hers had been forced from her in the cruelest of ways.

“JOE!” Y/N yelped through choked laughter as his fingers dug into her sides, her body jerking to get away from the man and his tickling hands. She pushed herself away from him, trying to jump across the truck towards Luz only to be pulled once again into his arms. More laughter came from her lips as tears began to fall from her eyes, her sides aching from how much she had been giggling. “JOE! HA! STOP! I’M CRYING.” The sound of the man in question chuckled in amusement, causing most of the men to look at the two with sly smirks while others, like Webster, rolled their eyes with expressions of frustration, hiding the delight they had from the two’s laughter. He called to them, causing them to pull away from one another as he asked for a timeout. Joe sent one last poke into the woman’s side before pulling himself back to his seat, his eyes never leaving her figure. She glanced at him with squinted eyes, recovering her breathing slowly while sending a swift smack to the side of his head. Joe laughed as his head turned from her for second before he came right back, his eyes glistening with an unspoken mirth.

“You are a pain in the ass.” Y/N mumbled, crossing her arms in front of her with a pout while looking away from the man. 

“Awh, don’t be like that doll.” He replied, sending a gentle poke to her cheek. Joe continued this to the point of annoyance when she finally threw her hand up to smack his hand away with a hiss. He laughed again, causing a warm feeling to swell in her chest, the smallest of smiles tugging on her lips as she tried desperately to stay looking mad. He caught the look, regardless of her attempt to cover it, his arm throwing itself over her shoulder before pulling her to his chest, exclaiming a loud ‘mwah’ as he pressed a kiss to her hair. “You fucking love me, don’t deny it.” He meant it as a tease, yet the immediate seizing up of her muscles and the shoot of discomfort in her stomach showed she’d caught more in the words. A sense of bitterness crept up in her spine at the sentiment, yet her body fought with her mind to let his arm stay where it was. Don’t tell me not to deny it, because I will.

Lay me in the palm of your hand,

I'll give you my permission,

you'll always be forgiven

Austria was beautiful; the scenery, the peace and quiet, but most importantly to the men was the women. The trucks had pulled in that day, driving past several local women who stood smiling brightly, as if the sun was projecting light from their glowing faces. Y/N felt the discomfort settle even deeper in her stomach, much stronger than it had earlier on the trucks, her mind throwing insults at her, comparing their fresh faces and softly flowing hair to her constantly grimy cheeks and lost cause of a hairdo. The feeling only grew as she watched Joe holler loudly at them as the other men were, a sly smirk on his lips. 

The woman was almost at a breaking point, the confusion, frustration, jealousy, dismay, and sadness constantly setting such an unknown and uncomfortable feeling in her body. And yet, it was the added confusion, joy, comfort, pleasure, and warmth that made her feel even worse, like fuel thrown over wood to start a fire; and Joe Liebgott was the fucking match.

Joe’s head had whipped around to make a snarky comment at the woman but he stopped short seeing the look that covered her features. He watched her for a minute, taking note of the tension in her jaw, the way it clenched and relaxed every few seconds, as well as the way her teeth chewed on her bottom lip. The smallest of smiles accompanied with a the common look of adoration covered the man’s face again as his eyes never left the plumpness of her lips.

“Don’t look at me like that.” She muttered lowly, Joe’s brows creasing in confusion at the statement. She had glanced at him while he was lost in his own world, admiring the way she looked while thinking, and recognised the way he was gazing at her all starry eyed. It scared her, feeling like an unnecessary punch to the gut.

“Look at you like what?” He asked, his eyes swimming with concern and confusion yet an undertone of pure adoration flickered the longer he stared at her. She clenched her fists by her side, trying to ease the tension she felt building in her as she swallowed the need to just grab him by the shoulders and yell at him to stop.

“Like that.” She replied after a gulp, her head nodding towards him as she did.

“I’m just looking at you Y/N. I’m confused.”

Go on, replace me,

when you're craving something sweeter

than the words I left in your mouth,

go on and spit me out

The local Austrian bar half the company found themselves in that afternoon while off duty was a warm comfort unlike any place they’d seen in recent months. The liquor flowed plentifully down the throats of many of the joyful men that sat talking to one another, their eyes following the figures of several women who had come to say they’d been smiled at by the American soldiers. Y/N perched herself on a stool beside Grant, and previously Floyd who had left them to flirt with a local girl, as they chatted animatedly while sharing a pint, smiles never leaving their faces. 

Y/N’s gaze fell over the environment with a look of curiosity at the idea of the oncoming peace that swept over everyone before it had even arrived. Her eyes  strayed several times to the man seated by Skinny and Webster by the window, painting a similar scene of enjoyment as her and Grant had found themselves. This was something the man beside her picked up on as he snorted into her beer in amusement, pulling her eyes to him. She screwed up her face in confusion at his behaviour before taking a sip of her own drink.

“Do tell what’s got you giggling Grant?”

“I just think it funny, you and Liebgott.” The man said, flicking his gaze between the two of them.

“What do you mean ‘you and Liebgott’? Me and Liebgott what?” Y/N asked, her eyebrows drawing further towards one another, her forehead creasing with frown lines.

“You guys...together. It’s an interesting pairing.” 

“Together? The fuck does that mean?”

"You guys being together...as a couple?" Grant looked confused and borderline uncomfortable at this point, unsure where the conversation was going and why the woman was reacting as she was.

"What? You nuts?" She all but screeched, a few heads turning before looking away quickly after receiving a sneering glare from the woman who was growing more stressed by the second.

"What? So you're not?" 

"How long-how long you been thinking this?" 

"I don’t know, I overheard Luz saying to Perconte bout how he’s talked about it with most of the other guys, just kinda assumed..." Y/N’s heart dropped to her stomach for some reason at this revelation, panic setting into her bones as she scrounged up some kind of escape plan. Her fight or flight seemed to flare up almost as much as it would while in the field, her breath increasing in growing worry. This is what she wanted...was it?

“Everyone...thinks Joe and I are together...more than friends?” She muttered to herself, her brain running thoughts through her head at speed, like a bullet from a chamber until it could hit the centre of a target. Her spine straightened suddenly, giving Grant the slightest of frights as his eyes continued to watch her movements as she stood quickly. Her feet took a step forward towards Floyd who stood leaning against a wall, smiling down at a woman who seemed to be fluttering her lashes at him. He spun around in a flash as Y/N had shouted his name, heads turning to look at her from all angles of the bar. He barely had a chance to mutter a word before she pulled his face to hers, planting a firm kiss to his lips. Her panic drove her to madness as she clutched at the idea of anything to calm her frightened nerves. Floyd hummed in shock for a moment before melting to the woman’s lips, his hands moving to grasp her waist almost aggressively. The two had stood wrapped up in each other even after they’d heard the harsh slam of the bar door, until eventually a voice called to her gently. 

Y/N was reluctant to pull away as she savoured the feeling of another’s lips on hers, the taste of cigarettes and beer inhaling her fully for a split second from the reality of things. She pulled away at another call of her name, recognising the voice to be Babe, Floyd’s eyes asking so many questions as she stared at him for a moment. He let worry take over him as she saw the almost distraught look on her face, her mind running so fast that she couldn’t distinguish any of her emotions from each other; and god was it driving her mad.

Y/N barely glanced at Babe or anyone else for that matter as she stumbled backwards and sprinted out of the bar back to her room, only taking notice of the absence of one man. Babe looked at where she disappeared from for a moment before making eye contact with an equally confused Floyd whoo simply shrugged his shoulders in defeat. The man sighed before shaking his head, inevitably knowing she wanted him to follow her as he took off in a run out the door.

Y/N let out a loud sigh as she wandered down the hallway to her room, Babe close on her heels as he tried to talk to her to calm the frustrated woman. She felt his presence yet heard nothing that came from his lips as her mind swallowed itself whole, throwing her into a swirling pool of ‘what ifs’ and ‘why the fucks’. More flashes of her parents came to her, hard and so goddamn fast that she almost felt dizzy; a technicolour of jealousy, spite, pain, misery. It ate at her, and she wanted nothing more than for it to just stop. She just wanted to feel anything but this; anything. They approached the door quickly as the woman let out a huff, throwing the door open and taking a step inside. She turned towards the man with her, her hand resting on the edge of the door, holding it open for him while he hesitated to step in.

“You coming in or you just going to stand there like an idiot?”

“Is this really a good idea, I mean, isn’t Joe already upset enough.”

“That isn’t my problem, he knows we’re nothing more than friends just like I am with you. You didn’t get jealous when I kissed Tab so why should he have the right to?” She all but spat, growing impatient as she tried to ignore every other feeling in her brain, guilt from her harsh words about Joe now added on top of that. The young man sighed when he realised nothing he was going to say was going to change her mind, throwing his head back to look at the ceiling as if asking God for forgiveness in advance. 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you Y/N.” He replied, looking back at her as she stepped towards him, grasping at his tie and tugging him to her.

“Stop talking and fuck me already Babe.”

There hadn’t been any talking from that point on aside from the occasional mumble of slurred curses from Babe as she grabbed at him, allowing her to have her way with him in a way he shouldn’t have. The two of them had always been so carefree about their little arrangement, just another plus of their close friendship and nothing more, but as he took her how he always had he felt the guilt build up in his stomach. Joe had become one of his closest friends bar the woman who was currently withering in ecstasy underneath him and the feeling ate him alive as much as he tried not to think about it. Babe had been the one Joe had confined in about Y/N and his feelings towards him and yet here he was, groaning in pleasure as he touched the woman in ways good friends should not. 

Y/N was in a similar state of confusion and guilt. Her mind ran a thousand miles an hour as she tried to suppress the urge to compare the two men she had been rolling around the sheets with, yet it had constantly come back to the man who had plagued her thoughts for weeks in ways he shouldn’t. Her confusion stemmed from the emotion that bubbled in her chest at the idea of the day she’d had, the green-eyed monster that had stirred in her at the sight of the pretty, blonde Austrian girl so close to someone who wasn’t hers. All this flew through her head as she lay beneath the body of another and it infuriated her. Why? Why was she so caught up on the man? Why was he any different to the men she’d been with before and why was she so wrapped up in the idea of him?

Y/N and Babe spent the rest of the afternoon pressed against one another’s bodies, both trying to gulp down the torturous feelings of guilt that nagged at them. When the man pulled his clothes back on slowly, his eyes wandered to the figure still lying on the bed, her chin resting on her hand with a far away look on her face. He pursed his lips, wondering if he should bring up Joe and continue their previous argument but had decided against it, finishing lacing his boots up before walking towards the door. His back faced her, his hand resting on the doorknob as he paused for a moment. Running his tongue over his top teeth, he glanced back one more time, staring at the woman who hadn’t moved since he’d stood to get dressed before shaking his head and ripping the door open. Y/N didn’t even look towards the door as he shut it, her lip pulling between her teeth as she tried to fight the feelings of disgust and guilt she had towards herself. Babe took two steps away from her door fixing his hair and straightening his clothes before he looked up from his shoes. His eyes found their place on a figure standing at the end of the hall, hands clenched into fists and nostrils flaring in rage. Joe shook his head while letting out a chuckle of disappointment, an unamused smirk pulling to his lips before turning and storming off down the stairs, leaving Babe standing wide eyed and deflated.

I only light up when cameras are flashing,

never enough and no satisfaction

Y/N had been feeling the weight of her emotions beginning to tip dangerously far to one side of the scale, her mind ready to explode at the addition of any extra stress. Joe had yet to speak to the woman in a few days, so it was to everyones shock and surprise that he had been the first to jump at the chance to defend her honour. In the state of chaos, Y/N followed the man outside to talk to him as he rushed out the door of the bar, her mouth opening to yell as soon as she left the warm of the indoors.

“Why the fuck did you do that Joe? He was twice your size.” She yelled after him, her feeting picking up the pace to reach him. Joe spun around immediately, his face still red from rage.

“You should have heard the things he said about you Y/N. What else was I supposed to do?” He countered, fists clenched at his side. 

“You don’t need to defend me like that for fucks sake, i’m not a child.” She replied harshly, feeling the scales tip as the emotions begun to slid off the uneven surface and escape her mouth. Joe let out a huff, an unamused smile on his face as he ran a hand through his hair, tugging the ends harshly.

“Nothing I do ever seems to be enough for you.” He spat, surprising her as he’d never spoken to her with such a tone.

“Wh-what?” She stuttered out quietly. He just stood still, staring directly at her without an answer. Her frustration grew as everything started to implode on itself. “What do you want from me?” 

“What do I want from you? I’ve given you fucking everything, Y/N. Everything I have, everything I am, I’ve given it to you.” Joe said with his voice raising higher in volume with every word he spoke.

“I never asked you to do that for me Joe. I’m not fucking yours so stop acting like I am.” Y/N replied, pointing at herself as she did. The man let out a yell of frustration to the sky before taking several steps closer to her.

“LOVING YOU HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH POSSESSING YOU! I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME BACK.” He screamed at her, a visible vein popping along his forehead at the tension he held in his body. He stopped short at her taken aback look, his body loosening slightly while his eyes seemed to begin to swim with tears. “Just-just a little bit of your love, that’s all I want. Fuck Y/N, i’d continue to let you walk all over me, be with these other guys no matter how much it fucking hurts just for the sake of being able to see that there’s a little space on your heart with my name written on it.” He all but whispered the last part to her while watching her face so intently for a reaction. The woman didn’t know what to say, her mouth only opening and closing like a fish out of water as she pondered his words. “Forget it. This was a mistake and I really can’t do it anymore.”

Y/N thought she had been forcing herself to bleed so he wouldn’t have to, yet it had been him taking a knife to the heart, and even a few to the back, the whole time while she stood with her hand clutching the handle. She’d told herself to stay away from him when he started getting too close, played around with other guys in hopes he would leave before he’d have to see the ugly side she hid away. She’d gotten jealous about someone who was yet to be in Joe’s life yet kissed Tab in front of everyone to prove a point she wasn’t even sure she needed to make, continued to sleep with Babe even after he’d brought up that it wasn’t a good idea. She’d done all of it in hopes that he would lose the adoration in his eyes when he looked at her so she wouldn’t get the chance to act like the abysmal role models of ‘love’ that were her parents; and yet that is exactly what she did. 

She knew in that moment she should let him go, for the both of them, yet something inside of her seemed to jump out and take ahold of the reigns, pushing her body to throw a hand out to grab his shoulder.

“No, no Joe please. I don’t want you to go, I want you to stay, please stay.” Her eyes were swimming with tears at this point, much like the set of eyes that turned to looked back at her. He shook his head, screwing his face up as a single tear fell along his cheek. 

“Just another thing you want in spite of how others are feeling, huh Y/N?”

He walked away from her with hast, another hidden tear slipping down his cheek while he got lost in his own thoughts. The problem with a woman like Y/N is that he knew he would continue to love her, even if it had to be from afar.

Got no shame,

I love the way you're screaming my name

“JOE! PLEASE!” Y/N screamed after him as she felt the sudden burst of emotion flowing out of her, taking long strides to grab at him again. He threw his arm out of her grasp, spinning around to tell her to piss off but stopped short with a gulp. The broken look on her face is something he hadn’t seen on her before; pain and sadness, happiness and joy, anger and malice all yes but never such a shattered look. A sob left her throat as she looked up at him, her fingers gripping at the sleeves of her shirt out of anxious habit. “Please, stay. Listen, that’s all I’m asking. If you still wanna walk away after that then I’ll-I’ll let you go, please. I can’t let you leave without trying.” She stuttered out, causing Joe to nod his slowly, taking his tongue between his teeth to stop him from biting back. “I can’t take back the shit i’ve done no matter how much I wish I could, but i’m trying my best to do better and I’m starting with this.” She continued before taking a deep breath. She recounted it all, the lies, the cheating, jealousy, spite, pain, grief, loneliness, greed, confusion, loss, solitude; all of it. Joe listened to it, taking it in as well as he could as she told him of her parents, her childhood and how she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing half the time but how she didn’t have any choice but to learn. His heart ached for the woman he loved and the emotion she was expressing to him, watched as every single thing she’d been holding in for so long was finally slipping from her eyes and down her face. He fell in love with her again, all over again, as he saw her now, raw and vulnerable, his Y/N. 

“If-if i could be a different person, could have lived a different life, trust me, I would have. I’ve never had good role models, never been shown how to love people without being greedy and hateful. I’ve only ever known how to take the good from people and spit them back out when I’m done with them. I’m-i’m still learning how to not be that person, but I am, I promise. I just-I just need someone to show me how.” Y/N said, several tears running down her cheeks as she did. Joe let his hand move to run his thumb over them to clear the salty liquid from her face, not liking the way she looked so lost.

“I was kinda hoping it would be you. If you’d have me.” She whispered to him, looking up at him almost sheepishly to see the smile that was slowly moving to his lips. 

“I thought you’d never ask. Cause god knows you’ve had me since day one.” He reached out in that moment, taking a hold of her waist before dipping down to meet her lips with his. They stood wrapped in one another arms for a few minutes, giving in to the feelings, giving in to each other. They pulled away from one another for a moment, their eyes never leaving each other as she muttered the next words, her lips ghosting over his.

“Take it. Take all of it. I don’t want the heart beating in my chest if your name isn’t written all over it.” 

#this took me way too long #not my best work #but it will bloody do #i kinda wish this was better but i am not sure what else to do with it #so like be gentle cause this was kinda hard #anywayyy #band of brothers #band of brothers x reader #babe heffron #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers fluff #joe liebgott #joe liebgott x reader #joseph liebgott #joseph liebgott x reader #this isn't edited or proofread either #so don't come for my throat #i am very fragile rn #so plz be nice to a fragile bitch like me #joe liebgott smut #joseph liebgott smut

[taylor-on-your-dash]

GIRLZ HOLLAND - PUBLISHED ON JANUARY 7, 2011

I'm slowly (very slowly) transcribing Taylor's interviews for my Interviews Timeline, and I came across some interviews in foreign languages on TaylorPictures.net, like this one. This is an experiment, I randomly picked one and I "translated" them with Google Translate (I can translate Italian and German but I can't speak any more languages).

An interesting thing about this interview is Taylor saying that all of her relationship from the previous year had failed. It's crazy to think that All Too Well was in the making. Translation below the cut, and Happy belated Easter!

-The boys lie in rows at your feet. Has it always been that way?

LOVETALK MEETS TAYLOR SWIFT

Taylor Swift (21) is a tough chick who is not afraid to approach nice guys. After relationships with Taylor Lautner and Joe Jonas, she is now often spotted with Jake Gyllenhaal, but Taylor is saying nothing about it for the time being. She does talk a lot about one of her favorite topics: loooove!

-'Not actually, no. I really didn't have much success in love in the past. It was so bad that out of insecurity I paired the boys I liked with my girlfriends. I managed to arrange dates for everyone except myself. The advantage of this was that I became friends with all the boys at school, but on the other hand, that was of course not really fun. Sometimes I fell in love with a boy who mainly saw me as a BFF and then fell in love with someone else. Then I could cry..."

-You must have been very popular at school with all that matching work!

-'No. it was not! The girls at my school were a bit bitchy and they were very jealous because I was so good with the boys. They also bullied me because of my... glasses with thick lenses. I have pretty bad eyesight and was regularly called 'Jampot'. Actually, I didn't really fit in anywhere, because I was very different from all my classmates. I was pretty quiet in class and kept busy writing lyrics. I didn't really care what they thought of me. Somehow I was just sure that I would eventually go further than everyone else.

-Which type of guys do you actually like?

-'I don't have one specific type, but I mainly like guys who have a passion. I find someone who loves his job or is completely absorbed in a certain hobby very attractive. I used to think it was especially cool if a boy had a nice car, wore cool clothes and all that. looked good. Now none of that matters to me anymore. I am especially looking for a boy with a strong character, whom I can trust completely."

-But your famous ex-boyfriends aren't exactly ugly, right?

-'Um… that's true. But I find someone Not really ugly anyway. And of course it's no problem if my future boyfriend is the biggest hunk in town. I just want to point out that the appearance is not the first thing I fall for. On the other hand, Chace Crawford is a guy I won't say no to! In short, like everyone else, appearance is partly decisive for me, but in a bad way I lose character very quickly. And besides, in the end, handsome boys just become old grandpas with dentures."

-Are famous boys an advantage or a turn-off for you?

-That in itself doesn't really matter to me. It usually clicks more quickly with someone who is also in the world. For other boys, my fame is often clearly something puts them off a bit. It makes me very uncomfortable when they find out who I am and then start praising me. Boys who are also in the spotlight will understand that faster. I'd rather be treated like an ordinary girl than a superstar.

-What kind of guys can't stand you?

-'I am very sensitive and I talk a lot. What I really hate are guys who have nothing to say and just say "yes" or "hmm" to everything. Those closed types who don't talk about anything are of no use to you. And what I also find a turn-off are guys who drink a lot and want to go out every weekend. I'm a bit of a homebody and I like it if the other person can be the same every now and then.'

-Do you dare to tell your friends if you don't like their new lover?

-'Absolutely! Isn't that why you're friends? When you are in love, you often look through rose-colored glasses. Then some properties are not noticeable. My friends are everything to me. If done right, they will last longer than any crush."

-As a former queen of couples, do you have any good tips for seducing someone?

-'Just because I'm a good matchmaker doesn't mean I'll make anything of it, right? Last year all my relationships failed. When it comes to love, I have no idea how to go about it. That is different in every situation, so I would actually advise: just go with your feeling. Last time I jumped straight into the deep end. That was great and very exciting, but in the end it also hurt me a lot. The time before I worked carefully and exploratively and it didn't yield anything for me. That also hurts quite a lot, I can tell you.'

-What do you think is the best cure for a broken heart?

-'You just have to do a lot of things that make you very happy. I am also very optimistic. A sad day. being is fine, but inside I know that the sun will shine again. For the rest I write everything down. That's why so many of my songs are about broken loves.'

-Do you regret some things that have happened to you in the area of ​​love?

-'No, I wouldn't have missed all my adventures for anything. These were all important life lessons that I will benefit from in the future. So I don't regret anything.

Which love lesson has been the most important so far?

-"I've learned that nothing is set in stone. That's a terrible conclusion for someone like me, who likes to plan and organize. But love can't be forced. You can want it to last forever, but before you know it, it can It has to come from both sides and both parties have to be fully committed to it.'

-In other words: love is...

-'Like a dice. Love cannot be predicted. Sometimes you roll a six in one go, sometimes only after ten rolls!'

#taylor swift #taylor swift interviews #girlz holland 2011

[yua-nism]

Kaleido- A kaleidoscope or Pandora’s box? An analysis of Kaleido’s lyrics

Note: This is a translation of 互口互's theory on Weibo! Please go check it out!

First of all, the song name, the Japanese name for it is カレヰド, this term comes from the Greek term Kaleido, meaning kaleidoscope. KALOS means beauty, and EIDOS means shape. Ever-changing beautiful shapes, which is what a kaleidoscope is. But as to why the Greek term for kaleidoscope is used, we’ll leave this question for later.

Next, to put it clearly, the perspective of the song in the first half is from a woman’s view. (Before 01:48) The JP fans on Twitter, the courtesan setting in Awauta, and the female ghost in Uwasanometsukosan (Momochi is pretty used to writing lyrics from a woman’s perspective at this point), plus the lyrics of the song itself can prove this. As to the role he’s playing this time, I personally think it’s a caged woman waiting for her husband to come home desperately. Doesn’t that mean it’s from Momochi's kano’s perspective though? Nope. In my opinion, I think this song is about Momochi's feelings for his kano, which means he’s singing about himself. Details below.

"There’s nothing I don’t need, let me ask about everything.” These words are said by the wife waiting eagerly for her husband to come home: Did anything happen outside? Please tell me everything, every little thing matters to me, don’t miss anything. Now let’s think about something, even though the one staying at home is Momochi's kano, who’s the one actually doing the asking? Yep, it’s mmc. Did you behave? Anything you need? Did you stay at home? You didn’t go out, right? (Sometimes he’ll even look at her phone call history, cross this) Will Momochi's kano go up to him of her own accord after he opens the 4-layer lock and ask him a ton of questions at once? Probably not, she’s mostly the one being asked, like the husband in this song.

”You’ll be coming back late again, right? My suspicions go round and round” The literal translation, “the bugs’ messages keep coming” is a saying in Japanese, usually meaning a bad premonition. This part of the lyrics is about the wife feeling anxious and insecure about the possibility of her husband coming home later. Now, if her emotions reach a breaking point, what would she do? Is it possible that she’ll think of a way to let her husband stay at home so she can see him whenever without needing to wait? The answer is: putting a lock on the door. Just like Momochi putting a 4 layer lock on the door in reality and locking his kano in at home so he won’t have to be anxious about her returning home at a late time. At this point Momochi's way of thinking is completely matches up with the wife, of course mmc won’t have to wait long, he’ll call a lot and even threaten you to pick up within 2 rings (lol).

“A burning heart going from red to blue, it won’t cool down." These flames of love start to reflect” The color on the outer layer of the flames is red, while the inner one is blue, and the inner flames burn hotter than the outer ones, which means the temperature of his heart is getting higher and higher, it’ll burn and never cool. To put it simply, he loves her a lot, only more, and his love won’t ever become rational.

“’Please don’t go’ You’re all I have” In the lyrics, “anata” is used which is how wives usually address their husbands or seniors that they’re very close with as a sign of respect. If you don’t know what this one is about, you can think about how in S2 Momochi asked his kano in the rain why he left her, at that point in time, this is what he was thinking. “Hanging on with clawed fingers, hurting everything that they touch.” For one, clawed might refer to how the wife might have long fingernails, but it could also mean how the way Momochi asks to stay by his side is sharp and hurting. (In S2 he said his kano betrayed her promise, in S4 he said the opposite of his thoughts, talking about how he wouldn’t forgive her, saying she’s dumb, saying nobody except him would love her, incredibly offensive) Hurting everything that he touches, Momochi has done a lot of physically harming actions on his kano, biting, gripping her neck, punching earholes, in conclusion, he wants to say that he has a desire for destruction and dominance, that he can’t control or doesn’t want to control. Kind of feels like “the more beautiful something is the more I can’t touch it” kinda thing.

"Drunk on these colors, a mutual destruction.” You can’t really have mutual destruction if both parties have a clear mind, right?  “Ah, hold me in your embrace (This night once more), for my self-satisfaction” The “for my self-satisfaction” part can also be translated as “I’m alone tonight again”, it means a sense of self-righteousness. This basically brings out a feeling of loneliness yet a persisting unwillingness to admit it, so we’ll just translate it to Momochi’s constant denial of what he says, “Please hug me tonight, if you’re not willing to, then being alone tonight again sounds nice” In a nutshell, this part writes about a stubborn yet confusing wife, you guys can listen to the song itself to feel it.

“The more I call out, the further away you become. Losing even a place to belong.” This part has nothing to do with the story of Pandora’s box, probably Momochi’s thoughts on his relationship with his kano. Because of problems with expression plus his kano being a shy and passive person, though his love is only increasing, the distance between them isn’t closing in, perhaps even pushing his kano further away. If he loses his place of belonging, then on a physical meaning Momochi can be said to no longer have a home, except that house he lived in with his kano. (As to how twisted Momochi’s expressions can get, go look at Yakouka, literally no one can understand it) Now we’re in the second half of the lyrics. A repeating symbolism is a box. You can’t open the box, if you do you’ll lose all you have. As to which box is referred to, there are two boxes that fulfill the condition above, one is a Japanese legend in which a man opens the box, becoming an old man and losing everything he once had. This story is pretty simple so no analysis. The other one is Pandora’s box. Pandora, pan means everything, dora means gift, the gods created Pandora as an invincible woman who has everything, (mmc’s musical talent is also once in a hundred years), yet Zeus’ box that he gave to Pandora is filled with greed, lies, jealousy, pain, and defamation. (These qualities are all shown on Momochi).

Back to the question at the start of this, if KALOS means beauty in Greek, then why is evil mentioned? Is it because of this pandora full of bitterness because of revenge? Perhaps kaleido is the opposite of pandora.

Thank you for reading! That is all :D

notes: i'm dying. btw please go actually check out yakouka's lyrics they're on the wiki and yes the english translation for the lyrics is from the wiki...!! thank you so much to 互口互 for letting me translate their post!

#dear vocalist #dearvo #dear vocalist momochi #momochi #oh my hands

[pandoraslxna]

Hi Luna baby! I hope you’re doing good and you’ve been taking care of yourself 🥺🖤

I was listening to a song and it reminded me of Quaritch and if he were to have a redemption arc. (There are many yes but they are so cute.) Basically I’m in my head at the moment. Something sweet and cute. But definitely how I see the man sometimes and this song definitely brings it out. Accident or not.

The song is called “When the night is over” by Lord Huron.

“My one and only love

I've been lonely long enough

Will I find you when the night is over?

Tell me where did you go?

I've been searching high and low

I have only 'til the night is over”

You’re so pretty. Prettier than anything he’s ever come to know, and he knows he’s in deep shit. Never in his fucked up life had he ever thought he’d fall in love, especially not with you. A soul so pure and beautiful, so innocent compared to his fucked up and tainted soul. He despises that he’d taint you if he ever got to close, but god good lord he can’t help himself.

“In every window, I pass

Your reflection in the glass

Makes me wonder if my mind is going

Shadows shifting in the rain

Slowly driving me insane

By the stars above, I know we were in love

I have only 'til the night is over”

He can’t help how you’ve embedded yourself into his everyday task, task that he knows he needs to complete to accomplish but fuck he can’t even think. You are everywhere, all over. Your scent seeped into his bones and your words and touched stitched into his skin like a tattoo. Never fading away never leaving. He hates himself for this, for getting to close for letting you in, he cant change it now. He wished he could he’d change and push you away demand the general to find you someone else to work with.

“I feel the weather change

I hear the river say your name

I watch the birds fly by

I see an emerald in the sky”

He finds himself craving the welcomed changed, wanting to be better do better. He can’t help how he listens to your stories and knowledge, he finds himself learning to embrace the ways of the Na’vi. He hates it yet he can’t change it, he fights with himself. The older version the one whose memories envade his brain mixing and fighting for dominance with that of who he is now. And he knows he can’t fight it for long. Part of him has to win.

“Now how the trail has gone cold

I don't know where else to go

And my time, I fear, is nearly over

When the ocean drinks the sky

And the city winks its eye

When the night is done, you'll vanish in the sun

Will I hold you when the night is over?”

As he fights the inner battles of good and bad he spends his days and nights surrounded by you, taking in your light. Letting the warmth of you blanket over him so all his worries fade, in the back of his mind he’s made up what he’s going to do. Give up everything for you. He finds himself entangled with you holding you, loving you, tasting you. He gives into the way your soul calls to him and he’s hooked for good. He can’t leave now. No matter what he’s yours in every aspect and every bit of the way. You’re his one and only love. Something good despite all the bad. The changes are too deep already made and set into plan. For you he’d give it all away.

“Am I lost inside my mind?

There's an emerald in the sky

I hear the river say your name

By the stars above, I know we were in love

I hear the river say your name

I have only 'til the night is over.”

Oh my goddd Xyliana I just woke up and that’s so cute!! You really have a way with words, your writing is so so beautiful and I love how you matched everything to the lyrics 🥹

I love it bby, thank you for this and I hope you have a great day!! 🩵🩵

#ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ asks 💌 #𝕃𝕦𝕟𝕒 𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕜𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤 ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ #miles quaritch x reader