Of Healing and Breaking Again
Summary: On a mission for Cid The Batch encounter an unlikely potential ally. Assuming they can come to trust each other.
Pairing: Tech x FemJedi!OC
Word Count: 2668
Warnings: trauma, nightmares/night terrors, death of younglings, Order 66
A/N: this has gone through many iterations so far. Expect this to be a bit of a slow burn because 1. I love in depth relationship building. And 2. I have ADHD and a kid so I WILL get distracted at some point. I’ll be pulling lore from Legends because I love those damn books so much. Also some timeline fudging to make things work. I am pretty fond of this OC. If you like her and want more info I can create a separate post detailing more of her history to link with this. Also not proofread so apologies and advance for any mistakes. Dreams and internal monologues will be italicized.
Finished this one? Here is Chapter 2!
REVISED: 02/21/24
Chapter 1 Or The One Where We All Met
The weather of the island Clone Force 99 made their landing on was balmy and tropical. The morning sun shining through the viewport warmed Tech and Echo’s faces as Tech skillfully maneuvered the Havoc Marauder into a tight clearing amidst the lush and fragrant flora.
Hunter patiently waited as Tech chattered to Echo about modifications he was planning on making to the hyperdrive of the Marauder and the name, genus, and importance of a nearby tree that was visible from his seat. Once Tech paused long enough to catch his breath, Hunter began to brief them on the scant information Cid gave him for their mission.
“So far all Cid has said is the planet has a higher than usual Empire presence right now. She says she will contact us in seven rotations with more instructions.” He grunted as his mounting frustration with Cid’s ‘need to know’ method of feeding them crucial information gnawed at him.
Omega spun in the seat behind Echo, the excitement of exploring a new environment practically oozed from her. Hunter smiled softly at her before continuing, “While we wait, we will replenish what we need and Tech will take care of any repairs. Lay low, please.” Hunter paused and looked Omega in the eye with a cocked eyebrow.
She sighed and rolled her eyes as she pulled her knees to her chin. “Fine,” she grumbled before catching Wrecker’s mischievous glance over Hunter’s shoulder.
Hunter nodded. “Thank you. Tech? What can you tell us about this place?”
“Iveon IV. According to the available information, we have landed on one of the smaller islands, Aiti. It is the only island that is inhabited. The majority of the population lives on the proper continent which is approximately 3,756 klicks east of here. It stands to reason that our target will be located on the mainland, however this island is going to be an ideal location to lay low. Iveon IV remained neutral during the war, however it is unknown if they have maintained that stance with the Empire. I am not confident with the increase in Empire occupation.” Tech returned his attention to the control panel, running diagnostics while noting what enhancements he could make to the ship while they waited to hear from Cid.
“At least we landed somewhere with good weather this time,” Echo said dryly with a cheeky grin.
“Lucky us,” Hunter huffed with an amused smile.
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“What a beautiful day. Perfect for meditating in the gardens.”
“Why hello there, Doctor Leto!”
“Master Kenobi! How are you today?”
“I’m well! Taking a break from medbay and nursery minding duties I see.”
“Yes, master! I am on night shift for medbay this evening and then night shift tomorrow for the nursery.”
“Avery, you are a brave soul voluntarily taking on nursery duty.”
“They’re fun. I enjoy it!”
“You may also be a little insane my dear.”
“Very funny, master.”
“I’ll leave you to your meditation!”
“Good-bye master Kenobi!”
She waved as she sat cross-legged in the shade of the Icus leaf. She heard the older younglings laughing as they trained in the nearby courtyard. She breathed in the sweet breeze as it blew her cool ashy brown curls around her face. She reached out into the Force and immediately recoiled.
The breeze shifted from fresh and sweet to sour and heavy almost instantly. The Jedi Temple was silent. Too silent. And then the screams began.
“The younglings!”
Leaping to her feet, she drew her saber, the teal plasma blade igniting with a hum. She raced to the courtyard but she was too late. At her feet lay several slain younglings. She trembled at the scene before her. Another cold wave gripped her stomach when she had a realization.
“The nursery! I have to get to the nursery! They’re too small! I have to get to them!” She raced toward the Jedi Temple to get to the youngest of the residents. As she skidded into a corridor, she came face to face with a clone trooper she didn’t recognize.
“Trooper! Thank the Force! Are you okay? What’s happening?” Instead of an answer, she was met with the business end of a blaster. She recoiled, throwing her hands in the air instinctively, “Whoa, trooper! We’re on the same side! I am your ally!” She glanced at the weapon pointed in her face and could see an uncharacteristic tremor. “Lower your weapon,” she continued, “We are on the same side.”
“In accordance with Order 66, all Jedi are to be executed for treason against the Galactic Republic,” the trooper recited, voice quaking.
“Treason? What are you talking about? We are on the same side!” she repeated, becoming frantic.
“I’m sorry, general,” the trooper whispered. Instinctively, she Force pushed him into a wall, knocking him unconscious but not killing him. “And I am sorry too, trooper.” Then she ran.
The corridors of the temple felt like an impossible maze. It was as if she had never set foot inside despite having lived there her entire life. After what felt like an eternity, she was at the door of the temple nursery where the youngest of the younglings stayed. It was silent and she felt ill. Slowly she opened the door already knowing what she would see. Small beds overturned, toys scattered, and not a single living soul within those walls. It appeared that some were lucky enough to have escaped. But others were not. She collapsed to her knees, tears flowed, and she screamed in agony. She should have saved them. She was too late.
Hyperventilating, Avery threw herself upright in bed, her pillow soaked with sweat and tears. The few belongings she had were strewn across her room as she had Force thrown it all in the brief, violently fitful moment between waking and sleep. On the windowsill perched a small loth-cat, swishing her tail in agitation.
“Sorry Nuna. Seems like the nightmares are back,” she huffed as she caught her breath again. “And I was doing so well there for a bit. At least I had the wherewithal to remove the heavy furniture after the last time. We were cleaning up wood splinters for days after that one, weren’t we, girl?”
She climbed out of bed and gave her companion a hearty ear rub. Grateful that this time she’d only launched some clothing and a few pillows, she tidied up and made her way to the kitchen. She started the caf while she fed Nuna but she couldn’t shake the nagging anxiety that lingered. She stared blankly as her mind weaved endless questions and stirred up old fears. The feeling of Nuna’s soft fur wrapping around her ankles grounded her again.
“Let’s take it easy today, okay?”
She scratched the tooka’s head again and she purred happily. After pouring her cup of caf, she shuffled out the front door and plopped into the small chair she kept next to the small tree in front of her home. The fluffy canopy of leaves filtered the morning sun into soft kisses along her face. The beauty of the morning did nothing to ease the crushing ache of grief permeating her chest like a rancor standing on her. Grief. An emotion she’d never learned to process. An emotion she’d rarely experienced until three years ago. And every nightmare reopened those wounds anew, forcing her to relive and reshove the pain deep into the box in her mind.
Distraction and redirection. That was her plan. She’d check the intel she was secretly gathering, and if the Empire knew her locale, she’d leave. After several unsuccessful minutes of trying to decode Imperial chatter, she pulled up a holonovel. If she couldn’t focus on the work, she’d focus on some light entertainment. Anything to ignore the crushing pain in her chest. Too sensitive, they’d told her. She was too sensitive. She cursed herself for feeling so deeply, especially in moments when she felt the pain burrowing down into the deepest parts of her soul.
She managed a chuckle as Nuna dashed out the door and toward the nearby wooded area. She sipped her caf as Nuna’s fluffy tail vanished into the brush, assuming a rat had caught the runty loth-cat’s nose. However, Nuna’s hunt was for something much larger.
Nuna weaved under bushes and through the trees chasing insects and small birds. She emerged in the clearing where the Marauder was resting. She was keenly aware of where she was going and who she needed to find. It was said that the loth-cats of Lothal were Force sensitive and the tiny furry terror was no exception.
She cautiously approached, sniffing the air curiously. Her ears twitched, hearing the voices coming from inside. She stealthily made her way up the boarding ramp. Peeking her head inside the ship, she sniffed again and took inventory of her surroundings. She crept to the open cockpit door and slipped inside. After a brief inspection of the boots of the men seated in the pilot and copilot seats she made a leap of faith into Echo’s lap. Echo flinched, throwing his arms up in shock.
“Whoa! What the—! Uuuh, Tech?”
Tech glanced over at the co-pilot seat and saw the small loth-cat rubbing her face contentedly into Echo’s chest plate.
Adjusting his goggles, Tech quipped “It would appear, Echo, that you have made a new friend.” He reached over and gave the critter a friendly chin scratch.
Echo sat still, staring wide-eyed at the loth-cat purring in his lap, “Yeah, but where did it come from?”
The brothers pondered for a moment and in a moment of realization looked at each other and in unison exclaimed “Omega!”
“Yeah?” she answered, poking her blonde head in the doorway.
Echo lifted the loth-cat gently and held her out, “Did you let this on the ship?”
Nuna purred louder, trying to communicate that she meant no harm.
“No way! Is that a tooka? Wrecker! Wrecker come see this! Echo has a tooka!” she yelled.
Echo scrunched his nose as he gestured with his scomp, Nuna still purring in his left hand. “Wait what? No! Echo does NOT have a tooka! I mean, yes technically I have a tooka, but someone else let it in here!”
Omega bounded into the cockpit and snatched Nuna from Echo, rubbing her face in her soft fur.
Tech turned his head to face them, “Specifically, that is a loth-cat, a subspecies of the tooka. It is not indigenous to this planet which means one of two things: it is someone’s missing pet or loth-cats were brought here, reproduced, and are now considered part of the local fauna.” Nuna wriggled free of Omega. She jumped to Tech’s shoulder, rubbing against his goggles and cheek purring. “Judging by how friendly this one is, I postulate this is someone’s pet.”
“Did someone say ‘tooka’?!” Wrecker bellowed excitedly as he stepped into the cockpit, Hunter right behind him.
Nuna was enthralled by the new humans the Force had guided her to and was determined to meet each one. Jumping from Tech’s shoulder, to the armrest, and then the floor she trotted up to Wrecker and climbed his leg like she was climbing a tree.
“Bahaha, that tickles!” Wrecker scooped up Nuna and brought her in for a cuddle. She chirped and gave his cheek a lick. Hunter chuckled as he flanked Wrecker’s left.
Hunter reached over to give her a pet, “So which one of you let this on the ship? Echo?”
“Not me! We were just trying to figure that out. Tech and I thought Omega did.” Echo pointedly replied.
“Not me either! But if she’s lost we need to help her find her way home!” Omega’s face was filled with concern.
“Kid, it’s great you want to help but we have a mission for Cid to prepare for. We have no idea where this came from. It would be like finding a skud in a krill pond.”
“We could always...keep it,” Wrecker sheepishly suggested.
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Awww come on Hunter! Wook how cute it is!” Wrecker cooed as he pressed the loth-cat in his hands to his face. True to her feline nature, Nuna finally had enough attention and jumped to the floor. She wrapped herself around the legs of each member of the Batch and made her way to the door. She stopped and looked back, mewing enthusiastically.
“I think she wants us to follow her!”
“Omega, you want us to follow a loth-cat?”
“Yes!”
“Omega! Wait!”
Nuna bounded out of the thicket with Omega close behind her. Her excited chirps and meows pulled Avery from her reading. She laughed softly at the sight of a young blond girl trailing Nuna with a brilliant smile. Avery dipped her hand down to greet her little companion and Nuna licked her fingers affectionately.
“Welcome home Nuna! It seems you’ve made a new friend.” Scooping up Nuna she smiled at Omega, “Hello there! I’m Avery. Thanks for getting this little troublemaker home! She’s a little too curious for her own good.”
“You’re welcome! She’s really cute! I’m Ome—“
“OMEGA!” The Batch came barreling from the tree line, wide-eyed and out of breath. “Kid, we really need you to stop running off like that. Please for the love of all that is good please stop doing that.”
“Sorry Hunter, but I found out her name is Nuna!”
The Batch stood immobile, sharing glances between each other before Wrecker spoke up, “Uuuhhh hi Nuna?”
Avery let a giggle slip as he hesitantly extended his hand to her.
“Actually this is Nuna,” she lifted the loth-cat to eye level, “My name is Avery, Doctor Avery Leto to be precise. Resident physician for our little village.”
Avery put Nuna back down and placed her hands on her hips, gingerly reaching out with the Force.
They’re…family. Siblings. They are…clones! Kriff.
Her stomach lurched. The nightmares. Had they been warning her? Was her connection to the Force so battered she missed the message entirely? Her eyes darted to each of them, quickly scanning for any sign of recognition that she was a Jedi.
Avery shrank back slightly before regaining her composure. The tall one with goggles glanced up from his datapad and scrutinized her reaction as Hunter’s shoulders relaxed and the deep furrow in his brow softened. He donned a warm smile and stepped forward, “I’m Hunter. This is Echo, Tech, Wrecker, and—“
She stepped backward, only slightly, as Hunter moved toward her.
“Omega, right? She and I were just getting acquainted when you boys arrived,” Avery answered, just a bit too quickly as her nerves bled through her voice. She forced a smile through her quickly fraying composure.
“Yeah that’s right. Sorry if we caused you any trouble. We are just planet side for a…package retrieval. The kid just got excited about your—er— Nuna.” Hunter’s voice was soft, in an attempt to be reassuring.
“No trouble at all.” Avery’s shoulders relaxed. She didn’t realize she’d been so tense. “Would you like to come in? You all look exhausted and starving.”
“Appreciate the offer but we do have to get back to our ship. We have work to do.” Wrecker grumbled and Hunter jabbed him with an elbow before continuing, “We will be here a few more days though, so maybe we can take you up on that later.”
Hunter affably waved and Echo gave a polite “ma’am” as they turned to make their departure. She stood frozen, not daring to move until she was certain they were out of sight. She heaved a deep sigh, relieved they hadn’t taken her up on her offer.
“Well Nuna, they seem very kind. And they didn’t seem like any clones I’ve met before.” Avery paused and breathed heavily. “I—-I don’t think they recognize me as a Jedi. Let’s try to keep it that way.” She scooped up the loth-cat and ambled back inside. “I think I need some serious meditation tonight, my furry friend. The Force and I need to have a lengthy conversation.”
Reblog graphic image courtesy of @vimse & @freesia-writes
Star dividers from @saradika
Tech helmet from @djarrex
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@ataraxicphilocalist part of the answer to your question about the Jedi Purge is here, because the other part is … long and getting longer.
Malachor V’s destruction by the Mass Shadow Generator’s impact on the Jedi fighting on and above the planet was shockingly severe. The Jedi who dealt best in the aftermath was the Jedi Exile, whose coping mechanism was tearing out their connection with the Force by the root. All the other Jedi at similar or closer proximity went on uncontrolled spirals into the Dark-Side or were straight up killed by the shock. The untrained Force-sensitives present seem to have been unscathed beyond what can be attributed to normal PTSD. Malachor V represents the upper ceiling of what Force-transmitted trauma can do to a person.
Our Force-sensitives’ reactions to the destruction of Alderaan is, by comparison, subdued. Obi-Wan feels it and is deeply shaken by what he has sensed. Though he knows something terrible has happened he does not know what terrible thing; he knows many people have died but not which people. Luke doesn’t feel anything. Leia – who is Alderaani, whose family and friends were down on the planet, who is right there watching – almost certainly feels something through the Force. Fortunately for her, her lack of training means that she isn’t exposed to the full brunt of that horror. Darth Vader is a walking suit of pain, grief, rage, and self-loathing; while it undoubtedly affected him, he’s such a mess already it doesn’t make any noticeable difference.
From these two events, we can determine that how Force-sensitives’ experience events resulting in massive loss of life varies by proximity, connection, and training.
Jedi like Cal Kestis and Caleb Dume, whose Masters are killed saving their lives, I think experienced Order 66 through that lens. Because they were Force-bonded to Jaro Tapal and Depa Billaba and because they were physically close, they experienced those deaths keenly. The rest of the Purge was like a terrible corona haloing their personal tragedies, driving the stake deeper into them.
For Yoda, it is different. He feels the loss of the Jedi as a whole, as a terrible mass of death, rather than the distinct snapping of individual threads. Teaching in the creche, taking after mission reports as part of the Council, Yoda has met every single Jedi in the Order. He knows some better than others, but he knows them all. And then they’re gone.
It would have been worst in the Temple. It’s awful thinking about the Temple.
On planets like Alpherides and Dathomir, people feel it. They have their own local Force-practices and the miraluka in particular strive to improve their Force-senses, to push their ability to see through the Force further. They know the Jedi of old; the presence of the Jedi in the galaxy had been a constant for thousands of years. Many Jedi were miraluka and Alpherides has long been politically aligned with the Order. The miraluka were outraged and demanded evidence of the Jedi’s purported crimes and accountability from those who had enacted the Purge which put them directly in the new empire’s sights.
I don’t think the untrained Force-sensitives scattered around the galaxy felt the Jedi Purge. That was for the best. Experiencing mass murder through the Force – feeling other people’s deaths as if they were your own – is not enlightening or inspirational or even cautionary. It’s just awful. It screws people up.
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