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illuminatedquill · 8 months

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Well, that was certainly a finale.

Initial thoughts below (SPOILERS AHEAD):

Ahsoka 1x08:

THE JEDI, THE WITCH, AND THE WARLORD

I’m a bundle of many emotions but first -

Look, nothing’s over. Okay? Filoni is clearly playing a long game here with these characters. So let’s all calm down and wait for the next season.

There was simply too much to show in this final episode for it to be satisfying on every front. I think, for the most part, he succeeded in ending this first season and setting up What Comes Next.

But I do feel like some of the character stuff was resolved a little too neatly, in my opinion.

There’s such potential in these relationships and I feel like Filoni was laser focused on getting the groundwork laid down for the future. And it’s Big.

(THE MORTIS GODS ON PERIDEA. ANAKIN FORCE GHOST. I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW IT.)

I’m not 100% pleased with where Sabine ended up and the fact that she just irrevocably altered the fabric of her home galaxy due to her decision seemed to have been glossed over by Ahsoka and STILL not found out by Ezra.

I mean, there’s HUGE ramifications from what she did. And I’m worried that none of it will be played out to it’s proper devastating conclusion.

Yet, I’m willing to let it slide because it’s clear that there will be more. So, we just have to wait.

Also, the exploration of why Sabine made her choice was never addressed. At least, not in a way that was satisfactory to me. Again, I’m hoping that’s explored in the future . . . but I don’t know.

Even Thrawn was confused about her decision! He couldn’t understand it. And this is Thrawn we’re talking about.

How can you not interpret everything Sabine did in this season as being driven by something more than just friendship. Even the casual fans picked up on it.

(It’s me! I’m the casual fan. Didn’t ship it before and then I saw the first Ahsoka trailer and it suddenly clicked.)

She officially cemented her place in the Disaster Lineage when she made the choice to hand over the map to Baylan! Gambled the fate of an entire galaxy just for the chance to see Ezra again!

That’s peak romance! Literally have not seen a character’s choice forever alter the future on a galactic scale of this magnitude since the main man, Anakin Skywalker, himself!

All for love!

And, yeah, I know the Wolfwren fans are pleased with Shin also being on Peridea. I know Filoni is on the record being against an Ezra/Sabine romance (at least during Rebels, which made sense at the time to me) but I don’t see that pairing being a thing.

We’ve gotten prime examples of healthy, loving, supportive romance from him: Sabine’s parents, Kanan and Hera, Ezra’s parents.

Shin would need to mellow out her murderous nature by 100% to be friends with Sabine. If that happens, I would be cool with it.

Don’t see her doing that anytime soon with her last scene being that. She’s too power hungry.

Other thoughts:

Fantastic battle scenes - highlight being the final duel between Morgan and Ashoka. She went out like a fighter.

Thrawn was excellent, as always. Lars Mikkelsen was born to play this role. His cold, calculating menace is balanced perfectly by some flickers of emotion here and there; the regret when he asked Morgan to stay and his annoyance at Ahsoka escaping his hellfire.

Eman is Ezra. Fantastic casting.

As for Natasha as Sabine . . .

I want more from her. Just more of her as Sabine, forever and always. Still my favorite character on the show. I think there’s more emotional depths to be explored (LIKE HER FEELINGS FOR EZRA) but I’m putting that on Filoni.

(. . . This post is a mess. Sorry for rambling. I’m sure a lot of you feel the same.)

Just want to emphasize that it’ll probably be fine. Nothing’s been decided, one way or the other. And the success of this season should hopefully guarantee more of these beloved characters on our screens soon enough.

And, well, there’s nothing a good fanfic can’t fix. I expect we’ll be seeing plenty of those after this.

#sabezra #ezra bridger #ezrabine #sabine wren #ahsoka #ahsoka show #star wars #star wars rebels #ahsoka show spoilers

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countlessrealities · 6 months

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@petalsxfallen sent: "Don't make a big deal out of this. I'm still pissed at you and I'd like to continue being pissed." for Morty (her saving his ass with her scythe during the 'fuck Morty' arc)

In hindsight, Morty had to admit that he had been a little too sloppy. Rick had dragged him out of bed in the middle of the night again, rambling about some chemical mixture he had to get his hands on.

The boy had initially protested, because he hadn't been allowed a proper night of sleep in over a week by now, but his complaints had instantly ceased once he had found out that Petal would be tagging along too. The pearl had been giving him the cold shoulder since she had found out that he had not just a crush he hadn't mentioned, but a boyfriend. One that he had been dating for almost a year now.

The teen understood why she had gotten mad. The Gem had showed him the most vulnerable parts of herself and he had kept something important from her. He had meant to tell her, at some point, but between how confusing explaining the split of the timeline was and with Petal having spent months without memories, he had never gotten around to do it.

And, of course, his friend had found out from someone else. Because that was just his luck.

Between the exhaustion and the fact that his focus had been more on trying to get the pearl to talk to him, he hadn't noticed the alien coming up to him from behind.

What had happened next had been too fast for him to follow. All he knew was that he had seen Petal's scythe flashing into existence and the next moment there was hot, sticky blood hitting his face. The two halves of the attacker had tumbled on the ground and the Gem was standing between Morty and the corpse, having not just stopped the alien, but also shielded the boy.

The frown on her face betrayed her deep annoyance, even if the teen wasn't sure about how much of it was truly directed at him. From the words that followed, he was tempted to assume that it was a lot, but it was always hard to tell with Petal. Besides, she had gone as far as using her scythe, so that had to mean something, right?

"I-I know you're mad an-and...stuff, b-but still...thanks. For...you know. S-Stepping in and saving me," he managed to force himself to say, swallowing thickly. "An-And...if you don't want to talk to me, tha-that's your decision an-and I know that I messed up by not telling you a-about FM and all that, b-but...I didn't do it because I didn't want to. I-I was planning to! I-It's just..."

His voice trailed off. He was tempted to blurt out his whole explanation since she seemed to be listening for the first time in ages, but he held the impulse back. It wouldn't have helped. Petal had to agree to listen to his point of view. Forcing it on her would have just angered her more.

"A-As I said it's your choice," he resumed in a quieter voice. "B-But if you ever give me the chance, I-I really want to explain w-why I didn't tell you sooner. J-Just putting this out there."

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and stiffly.

"Uh, s-so, thanks again for..." He gestured vaguely in the direction of the dead alien. "...that."

#[ ic :: Morty ]#&& Petal #[ v. MortRick and the Gems: a Summerfall of Petals ; su xover :: Morty ]#[ ᵀᴿᵁˢᵀ ᴵˢ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼˢᵀ ᴰᴬᴺᴳᴱᴿᴼᵁˢ ᴰᴱᶜᴵˢᴵᴼᴺ ᴬᴺᴰ ᴵ ᶜᴴᴼᴼˢᴱ ᵀᴼ ᴹᴬᴷᴱ ᴵᵀ ᵂᴵᵀᴴ ʸᴼᵁ :: ᴍᴏʀᴛʏ & ᴘᴇᴛᴀʟ ]#petalsxfallen #;; queue

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sam-lives-story · 5 years

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#SamLives - Chapter 4

“Paranoia”

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Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

It was on Day 11 that Jack got a message from Robin that sent a chill down his spine. He’d been sitting on the couch at the time, watching some Rick and Morty with Sam curled up asleep in his lap. The little eyeball was as comfortable as could be with Jack gently petting his “head”...and that’s when his phone went off.

Robin: Hey Jack...did you have plans for the Egos that I didn’t know about? Lmao

Jack blinked, staring at the screen. He frowned and typed a message back.

Jack: No...? Only what we’ve talked about, but I thought that wasn’t until next month. Why? Robin: Nice job on the editing practice then. Looks like your Anti skills are improving.

And now Jack was very, very confused.

Jack: What are you talking about? Robin: That last recording you sent me, for Subnautica. It looked great!

Jack sat up straighter, making Sam stir from his sleep, but he barely noticed.

Jack: Robin, I didn’t edit that recording at all. I haven’t recorded anything for Anti in ages. Robin: What are you talking about it? I’m watching it right now. Jack: Send it to me?

A few minutes later, Jack was at his computer with Sam on his shoulder, watching the short clip that Robin had sent him, playing it on a loop. That...wasn’t possible. No. What the hell...?

“...heeeey Reefies!” On-screen Jack was saying. “Aww, I love you guys. Be back soon! Alright, heading to the Deep Down Dark Deep Down. Gotta visit my base, visit my lockers, ‘cause I’m a stupid who forgot all the valuable stuff and left it in a place that takes FUCKIN’ FOREVER TO GET TO! Fuuuuck it so muuuuuch! Heheh...” Video-Jack chuckled at his own reference to Simulacra, and it was at that moment that a shadow appeared, glitching, behind him on screen. Just over his shoulder, against the wall. A familiar face grinned from the shadows, and a high-pitched, distorted laugh played in the recording. The video itself glitched, Jack included. Then Video-Jack shivered, glancing over his shoulder, and the figure - Anti - was gone. It was so quick that he wouldn’t have caught it in his brief skim-through of the recorded footage before he sent it to Robin. And it looked just like all those hints he had dropped in his videos during October before Anti had first shown up in “Say Goodbye”.

Except...except Jack hadn’t recorded that. Jack hadn’t done that. Jack hadn’t...made that face, laughed that laugh. He hadn’t done that...and suddenly he felt very, very scared. Then rationality kicked in and he giggled hysterically, running a hand through his hair.

He was being stupid. He was being dramatic. Obviously Robin had edited this, and was making a joke of it. That bit with Anti...it had to be part of the unused footage from a previous project. It had to be. He shook his phone free from his hoodie pocket and tapped out a shaky text.

Jack: Haha, very funny. You got me! I was actually scared there for a second! Jack: You’re such a troll lol

But Robin’s next message didn’t make him feel any better.

Robin: Man I’m not trolling you. I thought you edited that?

Jack could barely keep his hands from shaking as he tried to respond. He swallowed thickly, a dull fear washing over him.

Jack: No, I didn’t. That...I never did that. Unless I’ve learned to edit in my sleep I have no idea how that got into the video

Unless...

“Belief. I’m talking about belief....and how it can do amazing, impossible things...”

The words Mark had spoken to him a few days prior were bouncing around in his head again, echoing and repeating and playing on loop. Mark had been about to tell him something, before the call had ended. Something about belief. Something about Sam, but kind of not. Something that he didn’t get to finish saying because...he swallowed, both hands clutching at his hair as he sank in his desk chair.

Because the call had started to flood with static, and then his phone had shocked him. Which he wasn’t even aware a smartphone could do, not when it was mostly unharmed like Jack’s was.

Another buzz from his phone alerted him to another message from Robin.

Robin: Wait, so you didn’t put that bit with Anti in the other video either?

Jack scrambled to pick up his phone, fumbling with it for a moment.

Jack: What video? Robin: The upload from this morning, the first one. The “Reading Your Comments” video. Robin: You were answering some question about the egos...? I thought you were just messing with the community so I left it in. Robin: But when I saw the second one in the Subnautica recording you sent me I thought I should ask.

Jack rapidly pulled up the video on his computer, scrubbing through it until he found the question Robin was talking about, because he already knew which one it was. He’d responded with something totally off-topic, something unrelated, just to be funny...and sure enough, as Video-Jack was reading the question aloud, there was a little visual distortion. Not much, but if you were looking for it, you’d see it. And way in the background, in the shadows in the corner...a silhouette. Brief. Barely there. A fraction of a second. A few frames, maybe. And it knocked all of Jack’s breath from him.

“Jack? Are you okay?”

Sam had bounced onto the desk, into Jack’s line of sight, and the little eyeball was eyeing him with a look of innocent concern. Jack took a breath. Then another. He forced a smile.

“Y-Yeah. Yeah, o’ course. Fine.”

“You’re scared.”

“...a little,” Jack admitted sheepishly. Sam could always read him, better than anyone. Having a mental link probably had something to do with it. “Sorry bud. I didn’t mean ta scare you.”

“Why are you scared?”

Jack had no answer for him, not really. He couldn’t think of a way to say it. So instead he thought it. He pictured Anti, pictured the videos he’d made with him. And he let his fear seep through...just a little. Enough for Sam to get the idea. And Sam...his pupil widened a little and he squeaked.

“He’s real too?”

“I dunno,” Jack shrugged, sinking further in his seat. He leaned forward, propping his elbow on the desk and burying his face in his hands, reverting to thinking from here on out. ‘I dunno. It sounds stupid, sounds impossible. But...I dunno how else he’s showing up in videos, unless Robin’s lying. And I don’t think he would. Not this far.’

Sam made a worried little noise and nudged Jack’s arm, nuzzling up against his hoodie sleeve. Trying to help. And it did, a little...because Jack managed to smile.

“C’mon, c’mon...” Jack was muttering at his phone and pacing, as though urging it on would somehow will the person on the other end to pick up the phone any faster. It was taking far too long. It was only as he finally heard someone on the line that it occurred to him what time it was in California.

“...h’lo?”

Jack winced, hearing the sleepiness in Mark’s voice, knowing he must have woken him up.

“Mark. Hi. God, sorry, I totally forgot what time it was over there...”

“Yeah, it’s...” There was a rustle of fabric, a muffled grumble. “...three in the fuckin’ morning.”

“Sorry. Shite. I didn’t think, I just called...I can...I can call back later...”

“Woah, wait, no, ‘s cool,” Mark mumbled. There was more movement on the other end, a light clicking on, a door opening and closing. A yawn. “Wassup?”

“...”

And now that he was actually talking to Mark, Jack began to realize how stupid he would sound the minute he opened his mouth.

“...Seán?”

“It’s...nothin’. Nevermind. I shouldn’t’ve called.” The words spilled out of him faster than he could think them, a hand dragging through his already-unkempt hair. Sam made a little noise of question from where he was sitting on the arm of the couch.

“Dude you sound like you saw a ghost.” Jack could hear the worried frown in his words. “Hold up, once sec...”

The call ended abruptly, but as soon as it had gone Jack’s phone was ringing again, this time for a Skype call. Jack sighed and answered it. His screen lit up with the rather sleepy-looking face of Mark, his hair a chaotic mess of bedhead and his mouth pulled down in a worried frown. Jack could only imagine how he looked himself. He’d been running his hands through his hair nonstop since he’d woken up, he’d had four cups of coffee, and he’d been jumping at shadows all morning. Mark blinked.

“Holy shit. You look like hell.”

Jack rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, thanks, I kinda figured that,” he grumbled, looking away for a moment.

“Are you okay? You seem...stressed. I’ve seen it in your videos too...”

Jack let a small, hysterical laugh bubble past his lips.

"I'm fine! Toootally great!” He said sarcastically. “I'm being held together by coffee and redbull and cookies and prayers! What could possibly be wrong?!"

“Jesus.” Mark stared at him like he was nuts. “The hell happened to you?”

And Jack just let out a slow breath, deflating.

“...just...a lot. Recently.”

“Is it Sam still?”

Jack didn’t even feel annoyed this time when Mark mentioned it, just sighing resignedly.

“...sort of. I mean that’s part of it, sure, but...” He trailed off, chewing his lip. Wondering if this was even a good idea in the first place.

“But what?” Mark asked. Jack looked at his screen again to see Mark sitting on a couch now, a soft light illuminating his tired features. Would Mark think he was fretting over nothing? Mark had his own dark persona on the internet, Darkiplier, and Jack was certain he was aware of Antisepticeye. But thinking that Anti was a real, living thing...or whatever Anti’s version of “living” would be...

“Jack?” Mark’s brow furrowed in concern.

“...I...eh...” Jack stared at his screen for another long moment. Then he sighed. “...I’m bein’ paranoid. That’s all.”

“Paranoid about what...?”

“Anti.”

A pause.

“...you mean, like, Evil-You? That Anti?”

“Yeah. That Anti. He...” Another pause, another sigh, a huff of frustration. Jack, running his hands through his hair for the umpteenth time. “...he’s shown up in a few o’ my videos, an’ I didn’t put ‘im there. I didn’t record stuff for it. I didn’t tell Robin to do it, an’ Robin claims he thought I was editing it like that. And I keep...I keep thinking he’s right behind me, right over my shoulder. And I started thinkin’ about what you were saying about “belief” before and I started to think it might be possible and I wanted to call you and ask and – you...probably think I’m absolutely off my rocker.” Jack flopped back onto the couch, his head thunking back against the wall behind it. He closed his eyes, expression strained. God, he sounded insane. Sam slipped off the armrest to snuggle up in Jack’s lap, out of sight of the camera. Trying to make him feel better.

“...would you call me crazy if I said I believed you?”

And just like that, Jack’s eyes were glued to the screen again, where he could see Mark avoiding looking at the camera, rubbing a hand over his mouth. Looking concerned.

“You’re joking.”

“Not...not this time, no.”

There was a seriousness to his tone that Jack wasn’t used to, that made him think maybe Mark really did mean what he was saying.

“Why?”

“Why do I believe you?” Mark asked, finally looking up to the camera. “Because I think–”

There was an odd, glitched distortion on the screen, the lighting around Mark changing and shifting for a brief, almost unnoticeable moment....and judging by the slight widening of Mark’s eyes and the way Jack gasped softly, they both knew that the other had just seen the same thing.

“...I think...I can’t talk about it. Not now. Not...” Mark glanced over his shoulder, his eyes landing on something off-screen, something near the ground. “You alright? It’s okay, I promise. I’m right here.” The camera’s angle changed, going lopsided as Mark leaned over to reach toward whatever was on the floor. Jack assumed it was probably his dog, Chica. Poor pup. He smiled softly in sympathy. Then Mark was back in the frame, and he looked a little strained.

“Look. I can’t...talk about it over the phone. Obviously he doesn’t want you knowing. But I’ll be in Europe for a tour soon. A few weeks from now. Just...hold out ‘till then, and we can talk then. I’ll stop by, or we can meet up–”

“Wait, who?” Jack interrupted, frowning. A minute fear seemed to build in his chest, a tension there that hadn’t been there before, and he found himself glancing over his shoulder despite the fact that it was broad daylight and he was sitting against a wall. Sam made a quiet noise of distress and cuddled closer to him, looking up at him. Jack’s free, shaking hand fell to his lap to pet the little eyeball. “Who doesn’t want me to know what?”

“Later,” Mark insisted. “Not now. It’s not safe.”

“Why?!”

“Later!”

And Mark hung up. Jack tried, twice, to call him again - but both times Mark ignored him. He gritted his teeth and held Sam a little closer, suddenly scared to be alone.

[A/N] I swear, when I began this story, this was not the direction I was planning on taking it. It was going to be a cute little fluff-friendship piece with Sam thrown into the mix, then...the story took on a mind of its own. So even I don’t know where it’d headed...but I promise there will be cutes ahead as well. That, at the very least, is still a part of the plan. <3

Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

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[Chapter List]

#SamLives #Sam Lives #Markiplier #Jacksepticeye #JSE #Jacksepticeye FanFic #JSE FanFic #Sam Septiceye #Sam #Jack #Mark #Robin #Chapters #4 #Paranoia

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kingofattolia · 6 years

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hi grace im rewatching the mortis arc and I want very specifically to get uhhh literally all your thoughts on it please go off

OKAY UHHHHHHHH BOY WHAT A QUESTION. SO i love Mortis honestly. it makes no sense and allows me to do WHATEVER i want with theories and fanfiction and have it be canonically plausible.

absolute random thoughts:

1. when Obi-Wan goes “hello there” as soon as the Daughter shows up 👌👌 i hate him.

2. BOY I SURE DO LOVE THAT SHOWDOWN WHERE ANAKIN GRIPS BOTH THE DAUGHTER AND THE SON IN A FORCE GRIP AND THE LIGHT GOES OUT AND STARLIGHT SURROUNDS THEM IN A COSMIC SHOW OF POWER

3. kind of really uncomfortable with the whole dark!Ahsoka part. the Son, in his guise as a sniveling weird animal, makes me REAL uncomfortable and also is it just me or do they make dark!Ahsoka act in an ooc, overly sexy~~ way. like i know it’s a trope that all evil females have to be femme fatale sex objects but Ahsoka is what, FIFTEEN? and Anakin doesn’t act ooc when he’s using the Dark Side – he acts just like himself, but angrier. don’t like this at all

4. HOWEVER i am very interested in the fact that the Son poisoned Ahsoka with the Dark Side and i think that potentially has a lot of strange implications. so how you use the Force isn’t always a choice? if you can be poisoned with the dark, can you be poisoned with the light? we know about normal sith poison that just increases negative emotion & encourages rage, making someone weaker to the dark side and more likely to use it. but it seemed like the Son’s poison was more than just that? interesting that he didn’t poison Anakin

5. the part where dark!Anakin clomps onto the ship and Ahsoka hides from him and then escapes. it gives me the shivers every time because honestly the possibility of Anakin hurting Ahsoka feels REALLY bad. also it is very interesting to me how Ahsoka doesn’t even seem that surprised. maybe im wrong or maybe its the surreality of Mortis as a whole? but it always seems like she’s not particularly shocked by dark!Anakin for some reason

6. forever astounded & confused that all it took for the Son to turn Anakin was showing him a vision of the future.

anakin: *sees a vision of himself killing everyone* NO!!!

anakin 2 seconds later: i have seen that it is THE JEDI who will stand in the way of peace

like??? it’s a constant of both Falls that he wants to end the war and bring peace. its a constant that he wants the power to protect people he loves from harm. it ALSO seems to be a constant that mere instants after falling to the Dark Side he forgets his original aims and becomes unhinged. he literally sees a vision of HIMSELF, specifically, individually, standing in the way of peace. and then is inexplicably like RAUGUGHRHFJHGHF THE JEDI.

this seems to be the same transition that happens at the end of ROTS between him leaving for mustafar and when Obi-Wan finds him there. is this a facet of the corrupting, perverse nature of the Dark Side itself? i assume its like drugs or something where you’re like “yeah just wanna get buzzed once” and then suddenly a year later you find yourself homeless and stealing from all your relatives?

7. when the Son visits Anakin and pretends to be Shmi?? Anakin’s like “the only love in my heart is haunted by what would happen should i let go” and Shmi/the Son is like “then it is not love. it is a prison.” LIKE WOW UH? the Son is apparently a true bro, dishing out some solid therapeutic advice. i cry because Anakin is genuinely trying so hard & also needs mental health support

8. love it when Anakin just stabs the Son in the back and kills him

9. WHEN THE FATHER RESTORES ANAKIN TO THE LIGHT BY WIPING HIS MEMORIES. RRHGJGJRHFJFJGHFJRVHGghhHH. i hate moments like this. like in “thrawn: alliances” when thrawn tells anakin “you’ll want to watch out for someone messing with your clone troopers. that’s gonna be really dangerous to you” and anakin is just like “yeah yeah, whatever.” OH MY GGGOSH HE LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT ORDER 66.

theoretical speculations:

first of all, it’s absolutely iconic that the way Anakin brings balance to Mortis is by leaving no one there alive. which is basically the same way he later brings balance to the galaxy. classic Anakin.

what’s weird to me is that the Father seems to think balance NEEDS to be kept between the Son and Daughter on Mortis for the galaxy itself to not fall out of balance. this would make one think that all three of the Ones are simply personified manifestations of the Force itself, right? but:

a) they straight up died and thus were mortal

b) the lore seems to indicate they began life as mortals way way way way way back at the beginning of time and just drank some elixir of life that turned them into Force demigods

c) according to some dumb legends book about Luke Skywalker, all three of them were necessary to entrap and defeat some hideous primordial dark side force beast called Abeloth that lived in the Maw and escaped every so often. except when Abeloth escaped during luke’s lifetime, oh whoops, the Ones are all dead (thanks dad)

obviously this last is not canon anymore, but the combination of all of this still makes me think that they were actually just massively OP individual beings who drank the wrooong magic elixir five thousand years ago and had a theory of Force balance influenced by their own lived experiences.

i’m not convinced by the theory that they were never real and were just Force apparitions the whole time. as a “shared vision” Mortis kind of makes sense, except for the fact that it makes NO sense at all?!? what kind of a useless vision, honestly. the Force is going to impart something monumental to three of the most important players in the whole “balance” storyline SIMULTANEOUSLY, and it chooses THIS?!?! that’s like trying to deliver an urgent message by just yelling GRHKEAHAAAAAGRGHRHAHGHHRGHAAAA in the person’s ear.

the Force isn’t exactly known for delivering explicitly clear visions, but i’ve never heard of one this complex and weirdly, pointlessly creative either. to me, it makes much more sense that the Ones were all real individuals. and if the whole thing was just a vision, that means they’re all having visions inside of visions inside of visions, when Ahsoka sees herself and Obi-Wan sees Qui-Gon, plus Anakin’s vision of the future from the Son. that’s pretty wack and OTT.

maybe ALL OF REALITY IS SIMPLY A SHARED VISION

my inclination is simply to think of them as crazily powerful, insanely old Force users that died when they met Anakin Skywalker (a very universal experience) and evidence of the diversity of how the Force manifests in the galaxy. the biggest problem with this is the gosh darn time travel episode from Rebels.

the ~world between worlds~ and access to every moment in time, past present and future, is entered through a mystical portal painting of the Ones. why the HECK would this be the case?! did they create the portal? did they discover it? they clearly had some knowledge of weird dimension stuff, given that Mortis itself was kind of an alternate dimension. are they ACTUALLY Force gods of some kind? technically, everyone is a manifestation of the Force! what makes them different?!

what secrets do they know about “the balance”? it seems like they must know SOMETHING to be so powerful and so inextricably linked to time and space itself. and yet….. everything they CLAIMED about the balance in the actual Mortis episodes seems a) stupid and b) mostly wrong. so…….. WHAT then?

honestly, i have no idea what conclusion to take away from Mortis. we JUST don’t KNOW and it drives me nuts. on the one hand, why is all of star wars about the Force and yet we have no information about the Force that makes sense?!?! on the other hand, it is absolutely accurate to irl theology to have no real concrete answers and all of it is just “well some say this” or “some interpret it this way.”

tbqh Mortis is the blank check Dave Filoni wrote me so that i can make up whatever the heck i want and it’s not wrong

#grace for ts #long post for ts #illuminirk #talking #UHHHH I DID NOT KNOW whether you wanted this #in your inbox or on the dash so i just put it here #here are my random ramblings and nonsensical force theories #sw fandom: you cant do that #me: yo remember mortis? i can do ANYTHING #star wars #tcw #mortis

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thefudge · 6 years

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TLJ thoughts, post-viewing

sooo, i have a lot of feelings about a lot of things. also the subtitles didn’t prepare me. for a lot.

this movie is made up of many quiet, non-verbal moments and rian johnson lets those moments sink in and dwell with you and that’s great

rey exploring the workings of the force, for example. there’s a really cool sequence where she’s trying to find out who her parents are and she lowers herself in the embodiment of the dark side and it’s very trippy and cool. it’s not rushed and it’s v atmospheric. she gets the incentive to do that thanks to kylo. his revelations about luke and his general aura of “troubled darkness” inspire her to dig deeper.

i think what i liked most about reylo was its sense of gratuitous intimacy. what i mean by this is that they seemed to connect without effort, without having to manipulate the plot to make it fit. they seemed be in their own little movie, dealing with things beyond the usual surface level of star wars ‘good vs. evil’. kylo’s philosophy about letting the past go is definitely flawed, but the way the movie frames reylo, they do seem to “let go” of their surroundings and circumstances when they’re together. it’s sort of timeless.

i will say, i don’t think the romance was that "romantic”, if that makes sense? and i think it’s a good thing. their bond is very real, but it goes beyond “romantic drama” and your usual hero/villain trope. it has shades of that, ofc, and there is palpable sexual and romantic tension, imo. but i sensed something more mature and interesting between them. it could go either way. do i want reylo to have a future in ep 9 and after? yep. is it possible they won’t? also yep. mainly because kylo let rey down. and here’s the kicker: it’s not rey that really rejects him. it’s him that rejects rey. because she tries quite a few times to bring him over to her side, and i think her anger and sadness stem from the fact that, ultimately, kylo didn’t choose her, and ergo the light. he’s still v much conflicted and i think she can sense that. but rey is hungry. she wants all or nothing. she can’t have half of him. so she doesn’t reject him as much as tell him straight up that she won’t stand for being second. for instance, she expects him to fold to her side immediately after taking down snoke. when he doesn’t, she’s quite literally in tears. this hurts her on a deeper level than “oh no, the dark side won and the resistance lost an important ally.” no, this feels like her parents all over. leaving her, deserting her. that’s how i read it, tbh.

and kylo does some reprehensible shit in the latter quarter of the movie, lol, like i won’t woobify him, since i like my antiheroes to be antiheroes. but he's not quite villain level? if u look at snoke, if u take that cool, collected snarky asshole - that’s a villain. he knows who he is, and what he wants. kylo is hopelessly confused and always looking for validation. he tells rey that she’s the one always looking for father figures - but oh, benny ben. it’s actually you. he wants someone to really see him, and that’s why he’s drawn to rey. but just to clarify: he doesn’t have it in him to kill his mother. he has an open, unambiguous chance and he stops. he is willing to destroy her when she stands behind walls and is shielded by the resistance. yet when she’s in the open, no. that was my read on it.

his fight with luke is...very much one-sided. luke appears as a force-hologram to fight him and kylo just wants to obliterate him for very, very personal reasons. kylo is not the cool, collected new emperor who is going to “kill the past”. he lives so much in the past that he doesn’t even realize luke isn’t even there.

and btw, kylo doesn’t kill luke, though he wishes he had. early on we get this foreshadowing. when the first force-bond happens between him and rey, he goes “no, you’re not doing this. the effort would kill you.” meaning that, to transport yourself through space via force (without a bond) takes a looooot of energy. luke goes on a suicide mission, basically. he knows using the force like this will kill him. he’s almost having fun toying with kylo at the end.

when kylo realizes he’s a force-hologram, luke smiles and says “see you around, kid.” not exactly anakin vs obi-wan, if u know what i mean.

and then back on the island, we see luke peacefully give himself over to the force and vanish. it’s v tranquil and quite satisfying and the original star wars theme is used so well, imo. do i think we could’ve had more of luke? sure. but he went out on his own terms. that’s the whole point - kylo didn’t kill him. he killed himself.

again, i want to emphasize that kylo is still very much an antihero, dipping his toe into villainy (and failing - which makes him more angry, which only makes it harder to be the villain he wants to be haha). he’s not a Good Guy. many posts will crop up in the tag about what a poor, lost soul he is. yes and no. rey actually understands him when she closes the falcon door on him. she knows him and appreciates him. he will never really be ben solo and that’s a good thing. trying to be ben solo so hard is what got him in this mess. he isn’t supposed to be a Good Guy. so no, i don’t want him to “turn” (see my thoughts on “turning” below). i want him to truly move beyond the past and reform himself on his own terms, just like luke. because hey fam, luke isn’t a Good Guy in this movie either AND THAT’S GREAT. anyway, i certainly won’t be romanticizing him (kylo). he’s a compelling antihero who definitely has baggage and trauma (luke did try to kill him as a boy, though he has a wildly dramatized version of the event lol) but he is also someone who has to help himself. ultimately, rey’s goal isn’t to “save” him but to push him to save himself. honestly, if kylo had followed her and “turned” and reluctantly joined the resistance, it would’ve been a total let down and a betrayal of his character. him “turning” wouldn’t help him. he’d still have that darkness and that anger inside of him, multiplied. boy needs therapy - aka working through his issues, not ignoring them and joining the Good Side.

Other things I liked:

- admiral holdo’s arc - beautiful, well-done and surprising. laura dern kills it.

- benicio del toro!!!!! no small parts with this man. he is delightful. imagine rick from “rick and morty” but way hotter lol. he was probably my favorite addition, after rose. he’s the middle-ground guy, he’s more han solo than fucking han solo. he doesn’t believe in good guys vs bad guys and he shows both finn and the audience that the two sides err because they believe their path is the only path. he perfectly encapsulates the very real contradictions in modern-day ethics and how our “pure and wholesome” activism often shields us from some terrible truths. he does have a semblance of a heart underneath his cynicism but i love that in the end he doesn’t suddenly discover the power of friendship with finn and rose. he’s a jaded asshole with shades of good, who’s probably seen some rough shit. BUT, he has this super cute moment with rose before things go to shit regarding her necklace and it’s !!!!!! it shows how much he understands human nature. i kinda ship them. aaaanyway. i definitely think he will return, his arc is not done.

- ROSE TICO SMILING AND BEING HAPPY. ROSE TICO RIDING THAT KANGAROO CREATURE AND ENJOYING LIFE. i treasured those scenes a lot. she’s a great combo of feisty and childlike, tough and innocent. gosh, she reminds me of bonnie bennett so much ;___;

- general hux. yall, it’s true. it’s all true. hux may have won me over. hux in TFA was just a lite over-the-top villain imo. but here??? he’s such a fun, dynamic character, rian gave him a lot of fun, humorous moments. and honest to god, he’s also given some humanity. when kylo takes over, he is genuinely affected and disturbed by his level of aggression. and he’s....idk, much less evil in this one. probably because of the humor. he just seems like a man dead-set on fulfilling his mission, brainwashed to the core. and underneath the brainwashing, he seems to be your average overwhelmed white dude. i don’t think he’ll be redeemed or anything but...it’s weird how at the end of TLJ he is probably the MOST reasonable dude from the first order???

- there’s this great little message about failure. i think here TLJ was inspired by Rogue One. because a lot of the characters in this movie learn to let go and accept defeat. you can’t always save everyone, you can’t always fight back. sometimes, the brave thing is to retreat and treasure the ppl you love. so i def liked that.

- GODDAMN GHOST YODA. i honestly thought i’d hate it because...gimmick, amirite? but that scene with luke was SO emotional and also funny and visceral and just - i was a bit teary-eyed, ME, THE GRINCH. i was suddenly nine again, watching star wars for the first time. ANYWAY.

- luke skywalker deserves a separate entry. mark hamill did so much with this character in the last few scenes. also some of the stuff he says about the force in this movie is legit beautiful and i love how he criticizes the vanity of the jedi - because this was what was missing from the prequels. anakin fell because the council was tone-deaf. the jedi are often responsible for their own doom and so they must always be vigilant - which is a goddamn thankless job. i love that luke acknowledges this.

-luke/leia moment. GAAAAH. HE KISSES HER FOREHEAD GOODBYE AND SHE KNOWS HE’S NOT COMING BACK FROM THIS. I DIED.

- in that order of business, leia finally FIIIINALLY gets to show off a bit and use the force in a pro-active manner. it’s also clear to me that episode 9 would’ve been the story of her and “ben” and i think she would have been the catalyst for his eventual development. but sadly, we’ll never see that ;____;

-there is some gorgeous cinematography and visual direction in this movie. particularly in the third act, on that salt planet? the red trails? shivers.

-i didn’t hate any of the new creatures like i thought i would??? probably because they were used sparingly and with a sense of humor.

Stuff i kind of didn’t like:

- phasma. phasma, phasma, phasma. WHAT was that??? like tell me that wasn’t anticlimactic as hell. she was, sadly, a pointless character. unless she somehow survived the fire and destruction, which i doubt, i really don’t see the point of casting wonderful gwendolyn christie just to stand there in armor.

- MAZ KANATA. is barely in this. i call bullshit.

-sigh, okay so i loved rose to death, but her arc revolved way too much around finn. on the one hand i get it, on the other hand.... i was hyped because ppl were saying she gets this big moment to shine. and granted, imo, she shines every moment she’s on screen. but i think her climactic scene was... *fart noises*. it’s completely centered around finn. she saves him basically, and it’s definitely heartfelt and lovely but also...it’s finn’s moment 100%. because it’s him who has to learn about his own worth. i do think they make a good team and i ship them a little bit, but the one-sided kiss was not satisfying and i’m tired of having to watch my darling woc give their love and devotion freely, only to be tertiary characters in their own story. like, imo, it should’ve been rose who flew straight into that cannon and tried to take it down for her sister. she should’ve been the one determined to take it down. and it should’ve been finn to save her and tell her they must find meaning in other things. finn definitely cares for her and in the last scene we have of him, he’s tending over rose and waiting for her to wake up BUT. will rose ever be number one for anyone, like the white girls, i wonder? eh, i’m probably just grumpy old aunt. she does get to have an internal world, she’s a believable human being, she matters. the thing is, white girls in these movies can bend their little finger and they’re considered worthy and complex. rose has to jump through hoops to be seen the same way. anyway.

- i liked poe dameron’s arc, which is “hey, maybe i should stop posturing and listen to women more lol” which is “learn when to retreat and stand down” but...honestly, you hire gorgeous oscar isaac who can give you real emotional weight and you just...kinda under-utilize him. yes, he did a lot of stuff, but he...didn’t take time to internalize it. this dude feels like he’s got a lot of demons and conflicting desires and a rich inner life, yet we only skim the surface of that. like, he’s aways in go-mode, we rarely get a quiet moment with him. like pls fix this, episode 9.

-luke’s reaction to han’s death is pfffffffffffff. maybe we’ll get more in a deleted scene?

- also....can we stop pussyfooting and legit talk about han as a dad? because they keep hinting he wasn’t a good one, nor a very good husband to leia. but...it’s very unsatisfying to keep hearing about it without good storytelling to back it up.

- the world-building & the origins of the first order. i had problems with this in TFA and, big surprise, i still have problems with it here. basically, why has the first order taken over the new republic? how did they gain support? were there remnants of the old empire that survived and thrived as the first order? what about the knights of ren? luke mentions kylo took some students with him when he destroyed the jedi temple, so....what about those guys? like, this very fraught and war-torn landscape doesn’t have a solid history. how did A become B? why is every corner of the galaxy oppressed? why are some planets thriving more? are they all arm-dealers??? i find that hard to believe. yeah, we have the expanded universe for that, we have books and comics etc. but i need these movies to give us a sense of their own universe. i’m...still not convinced.

-lolol, snoke dies like a bitch. and it’s so anticlimactic and duuuumb. dude, a five-year old coulda seen that coming but your ancient super powerful ass couldn’t? laaaame. he’s like “oh, yes, i sense no more conflict in you, kylo ren. just a deep certainty”. YES FOOL, because he’s decided to remove u, because he’s confident he wants rey, and not you, by his side. it was soooo lame. but i guess we had to remove him to make the audience think kylo was turning good for a second there.

-which reminds me... and you probably saw this coming, i hate the idea of “turning”. rey keeps talking about ben turning to the light. and this verb annoys me to no end. it’s made clear that they both already have a lot of light and darkness in each other. it’s about finding balance. where’s my grey jedi??? episode 9 pls????

Extra Reylo stuff i didn’t see mentioned which i adored:

- during their first force-bond moment when they sense each other, kylo ren runs out of the medical unit and into the corridor like a goddamn luckless teenager, expecting to see rey pop up in a prom dress. it’s precious. i love awkward!kylo. also rey tries to shoot him bc she thinks he’s actually there and kylo bends down, thinking he was shot. it’s a rly cool moment. and it doesn’t feel malicious like, he doesn’t expect anything less from her.

- there’s so much charged electricity between them and it’s not all sexual. it’s kinda mystical and i dig it. i’m weirdly reminded of xavier and magneto??? as in two enemies who have such a rich history and whose bond transcends human morality.

-OKAY. i saw no one talking about this but THAT GODDAMN SNOW WHITE SCENE. so rey decides she’s going to turn kylo to the light because that’s their one hope of defeating the first order etc. luke tries to stop her, but she’s like i’m going after my man. okay. she gets on the falcon, then she puts herself in this casket-like pod and AND. we get this lovely, breath-taking sequence of her arriving at the first order base, slipping gently into the hangar in her casket. and she’s def nervous. AND THEN. she looks up through the glass and there’s steam at first and through the steam we see kylo’s face, looking down at her wistfully. IT’S SO WEIRDLY FAIRY-TALE WTF. and then ofc the guards come in to shackle her. BUT JESUS. the prince looking into the casket to find snow-white WHAT ARE THESE AESTHETICS. it felt like a nod to the infamous scene in TFA where he carries her bridal style. it’s very fairy-tale-esque.

- i love that in the scene with the multiple reys, when she reaches through the mirror to see her parents, the shadowy figure who appears and touches her hand seems at first to be kylo and then she realizes it’s herself. i also love that she talks to kylo about that experience. GAH.

- i just rly loved that there was so much humanity in their interactions.

Reylo stuff which sort of bothered me/left me wanting more:

- like excuse u rian, during the praetorian guards fight, i needed more moments where kylo looks at rey and is worried for her sake. i needed that fight to be a bit more visceral and about the two of them and their survival. they do fight together and it’s great but then...they’re sort of separated and carry their own small battles (i did love how rey saved him with that lightsaber throw)

- the whole “you come from nothing, you are nothing.” yea yeah, he’s a dummy who doesnt know how to express his feelings, he’s mr. darcy x 1000 of faux pas. but i still think adam driver’s acting went a little much there. the way he delivered that line was a bit off for me. ofc, he follows it with “but not to me”, because he’s basically proposing to her, but i needed a bit more, an extra line from him confirming her importance. or maybe no extra line, but a bit more feeling. did i mention i love wrecked!kylo? the “please” killed me haha.

Final thoughts:

- enjoyed it more than i expected to, and it does operate with way more nuance than TFA but it stiiiill fell short with some characters. it didn’t have the weight of rogue one for me, but it’s more lighthearted and entertaining, which i appreciate, cuz it reminded me of my childhood. and ultimately, whether we like it or not, disney does operate on nostalgia. all in all, it’s a worthy star wars movie, 8/10. rian deserves an A-. (he also wrote this thing and whoaaa...i wonder how much more ambiguous and dark this movie woulda been if he’d been given full non-disney freedom)

#tlj #tlj spoilers #reylo #i also talk about other characters and plots but i'm a reylo person so ppl are gonna probably be annoyed if i tag the characters sigh #tlj review #my thoughts

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blapisblogs · 7 years

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Okay, this isn’t what I usually post on here, but since this considers a movie I recently added to my blacklist, and has been cluttering my thoughts since I saw it, I figured fuck it, I have to write something about this.

Recently I made the decision to join a group of people online to watch a bootleg recording of the Emoji Movie.

It’s bad.

Shocking, I know, but I mean it. It is bad. Not even funny bad, just bad. As in it exceeded my already low expectations. I set the bar on the ground and it burrowed under it.

I may not ever liveblog this movie (because Jesus Christ, why would I even if I didn’t watch it already), but I will talk about why I felt it was bad.

Spoilers below the cut. Not spoilers for the Emoji Movie (because it really doesn’t deserve a spoiler-free rant(?)), but for other, better animated movies that others have already pointed out that it at least vaguely resembles (namely Wreck-It Ralph and The Lego Movie).

For starters, the overall pacing of this movie is hands-down the worst I’ve ever seen for anything. It literally fucked up the perception of time for the other people who were watching it, myself included. I can’t even find words to describe what terrible pacing this has, or even find an apt comparison for it because it’s just that unbelievably incompetent. There were three writers working on this thing, and it seemed like none of them had a single idea of how basic story flow works.

Speaking of the story, it’s just as dull and confusing of a mess as most people had feared. It has all the trademarks of your formulaic animated kids movie. Male protagonist who doesn’t fit in but wants to change that? Yep. Annoying best friend (who doesn’t act like one in this at all) sidekick that’s supposed to be funny and charming (but in this movie actually isn’t either of those things)? Yeah. Girl character who’s “not your typical girl” who ends up being the love interest to the main protagonist? Oh you better believe that’s there. Main Protagonist does something that puts multiple people in danger and now he and his newfound friends have to go out to save everyone, and in the end he defeats the bad guy and gets to be himself? Oh yes. Bland cishet romance? Duh. Jokes that try to appeal to millennials but fall flat? Definitely. Bathroom jokes? There’s a freaking poop emoji (two, actually), of course there is. Oh, and so much blatant product placement that it’d make an Adam Sandler movie blush.

The internal logic of this movie’s world just doesn’t make sense. In this film, whenever someone wants to use an emoji, that emoji gets scanned, and the ones with expressions have to make and hold the right face while they’re being scanned, and apparently they have to go through this process every time the phone user wants to use an emoji. Why do they need to be re-scanned every time? Wouldn’t it be a lot easier to just take a picture of everyone once and use that? Why do they all have to act “in character” for their whole lives even when they’re not going to be scanned? (You know how the characters in Wreck-It Ralph “break character” once the arcade closes? Yeah, that’s definitely not what happens in this movie; what you see is what you get.) There are animal, food and object emojis in this world, so do they get to have different emotions while others don’t? Emoticons exist in this universe (as elderly people), so what happens if the user wants to send one of those instead of an emoji? The emojis with expressions definitely have parents since at least three of the characters are parents, so how does that even work? If two different emojis have a kid together, what does that kid turn out to be? Are two different emojis even allowed to be together in this fucked up universe? Why do the poop emojis need to use the bathroom?! There are so many questions that this movie raises, and pretty much none of them are answered. I mean, as bad as the Cars films can be with a similar “how is that even possible in this universe” logic problem, even those aren’t quite as in-your-face questionable as the ones this movie brings up. (Plus, there are at least minor attempts at getting around some things in the Cars series, whereas the Emoji Movie doesn’t even try.)

The characters are all pretty much one-dimensional, even the ones that are supposed to be more “complex” than the others. It’d be one thing if they were at least enjoyable to watch, but they’re not. Gene, the main character, is supposed to be someone the audience likes, but the moment that his confession of forced heterosexual feelings “love” for Jailbreak is rejected by her, he leaves both her and High-Five, and while the writers obviously want people to feel bad for him, it comes off as him acting like an asshole just because his spontaneous feelings weren’t reciprocated by the woman he didn’t even know for a whole day (I think it was a day anyway; like I said, the pacing and sense of time in this movie is fucked up). The writers want you to believe that Gene and High-Five are friends, but given that High-Five initially wanted to go with him for selfish purposes (he’s a “loser” emoji who doesn’t get used much at all and thus gets excluded from some kind of after-party thing, which also brings up a lot of questions), and given the lack of any sort of interaction between the two to imply that they’re growing closer as friends, it comes off as completely false and forced. (Also, I know in most animated stuff they record the actors separately, but dear lord, you should not be able to easily tell that the voice actors for the characters interacting with each other on screen were never in the same room together. In this film it’s painfully obvious that High Five’s voice actor had little to no interactions with the other actors because he has so many moments of solo ad-libbing that make no sense and nobody bothered to stop him or leave any of it out despite it not even being funny.) There’s a moment where Gene’s father, Mehl (haha), reveals that he also has more than one emotion but he’s learned to suppress it, and it’s supposed to be emotional, but given that the earlier scenes he had with his wife, Mehry (HAHA), had him blaming her for why Gene is the way he is, it doesn’t quite make up for what he said in those earlier scenes, and in a way seems to make it worse since he knew it was “his fault” yet blamed her for it anyway. At the end of the movie, Jailbreak goes from being a character who ran away to pursue her dream of being more than what she is supposed to be, to... well, love interest. Yeah, she does other stuff, but at the end she’s basically just a love interest for Gene. Oh, and she also rudely brushed off her mom who was no doubt worried sick about her for who knows how long rather than give her any sort of comfort, which doesn’t make her very likable either. Also, the actual humans that exist outside the phone are barely in this, and their subplot is pretty pointless. (It’s also a forced heterosexual subplot too, because one just wasn’t enough I guess.)

You know how one of the biggest rules of writing is “Show, Don’t Tell”? Apparently none of the three writers working on this movie have heard of that, or they have and they completely ignored it, because there is a lot of telling in this movie and not much showing, especially in the opening with Gene narrating for several minutes.

I don’t think any of the writers know anything about how the internet or smartphones work, or anything at all. The child has a disguised “piracy” app on his phone? They think that it’s possible to reverse the deletion process on a phone, while it’s happening no less? (Factory reset? What’s that?) I am pretty sure that they don’t understand that internet trolls are actual people and not a thing the internet itself makes up? The kid calls the store so he can make an “appointment” for his malfunctioning phone instead of just going there? There are several points where the kid with the phone could’ve just turned off or muted his phone, but didn’t because I don’t know?

(Wreck-It Ralph spoilers ahead) There are revelations that come out of nowhere with absolutely no build-up and are poorly timed, and the biggest example of this has to be the scene it’s randomly revealed that Jailbreak is the missing princess emoji that was only briefly brought up one time before that. I knew that this twist was coming due to it being spoiled in other reviews, and I’ve seen badly-handled reveals before, but I’ve never seen it handled this poorly before. Say what you will about Wreck-It Ralph, but the reveal that Vanellope was the actual ruler of Sugar Rush had hints and build-up to it, and it waited until the time was right to confirm that information to the audience, unlike this movie where the reveal is dropped on the audience somewhere in the second act without much if any build-up to it because the writers just threw their hands up into the air and said “Fuck it! I don’t know! Who cares!”

Sir Patrick Stewart as the poop emoji was completely pointless. I don’t think he even got that much screentime, and the only thing they really did with it is a random Star Trek joke that makes zero sense in the context of the movie itself. (He’s sitting in a chair in his “assigned cube” like Picard does in Star Trek TNG, even though none of the other emojis have chairs in their cubes and this reference is just there because... really forced voice actor reference.) Of course that’s not even getting into the fact that there’s a character who is literally sentient feces. I know it seems ridiculous for me to criticize this part since one of my favorite guest characters from Rick and Morty is Fart, but Rick and Morty is already a weird show with side character names that are even weirder than that, the casting of a decently-known actor for that small part made sense (Fart’s very Bowie-inspired, and Clement is well known for his “rough impersonation” of Bowie), and wasn’t just “we got this well-acclaimed actor to voice a literal turd; that’s the joke”. Plus, at least the writers of Rick and Morty can at least, you know, write characters and a story.

Speaking of characters, there’s something I find unsettling about how the women in this movie are portrayed. Jailbreak starts off as a character with a goal to make it to The Cloud (literally shown as a cloud, of course), but by the end of the movie it seems she completely gave up that dream because she fell victim to the writers’ need to make her a heterosexual love interest to the boring male protagonist for no reason realized she loved Gene for no reason. Gene’s mother, Mehry, is the only one in the family who doesn’t have any “unusual emotions”, while her son and husband do. The only human girl in the real world that I know has a name is just a love interest (though to be fair, the rest of the human characters aren’t very well defined either). The only female character in the cast who isn’t a love interest is the villain, and she’s clearly meant to be an unlikable bitch who wants people to either conform or die. All of the characters are written badly, but something about how these writers portrayed their female characters really doesn’t sit well with me. I doubt this was intentional (at least I really hope it wasn’t), but still.

Like I said, the product placement in this movie is horribly blatant, with probably the most painful example being Candy Crush (which is now adding Emoji Movie levels). I’ve heard that someone in charge of production said that the apps shown in this were going to be shown front and center in this movie, but christ. You’d think that maybe there would be some creativity as to how these apps look and work inside the phone from the perspective of a character who exists inside it, but... no, not really. Hell, the Candy Crush app just made me think of Sugar Rush from Wreck-It Ralph and remind me of how much better that movie is in comparison. Or lots of other movies, for that matter.

(Wreck-It Ralph and LEGO Movie spoilers ahead, and possibly Inside Out too) Speaking of which, early on people were already crying “ripoff” because the basic premise already sounded so similar to that of Wreck-It Ralph (only it’s a phone rather than video games), LEGO Movie (at the very least with Jailbreak resembling Wyldstyle), and Inside Out. I haven’t seen the latter film (yet), but I can say that the accusations about it ripping off the other two aren’t far off. For starters, the basic premise is similar to The LEGO Movie (male protagonist goes on an adventure with his newfound funny friends and eventual love interest and saves the world from a bad guy), with some elements of Wreck-It Ralph mixed in (set inside something humans play with, protagonist is treated differently from others but learns to believe in himself, his newfound friend doesn’t fit in either, one friend turns out to be royalty, in a way it even kinda rips off how the opening was narrated by the main protagonist). However, what made Wreck-It Ralph and The LEGO Movie both more successful than this one (among multiple other things) was that they actually did something with their settings and plot, and they featured characters that were written so that people would want to see them succeed. Emmet’s relatable because there are people who don’t think they’re special or talented in a world where everybody else is. Ralph is relatable because there are people who are judged for what they do for a living without knowing them on a more personal level. We’re supposed to like Gene because... well, because the movie said so. Yeah, he’s different, but unlike Ralph and Emmet, there’s no sense of charm or wit to him (or anyone else in this movie, for that matter). What it also lacks that the other two have (again, among many other things) is heart, and at least some subtle forms of creativity. I can tell that the people who worked behind both of those movies had fun with what they were doing and believed in it. The Emoji Movie just... doesn’t. It feels like cheap, poorly-handled advertisement first and a movie dead last. I couldn’t think of anything I saw in it that didn’t make me think of something else that handled it better.

Also, this has nothing to do with the movie itself, but I’ve come to hate the people who use the “kids might like it” argument to justify this movie’s existence. Kids deserve better than movies like this, and in this day and age there’s plenty of things that kids would like that have more respect for their intelligence than this movie does.

This, however, I will blame the movie for: the people behind it have been shown saying stuff like “it has a good message” and it’s “feminist,” but it’s all just blatant lies; nothing about this movie is progressive or has a good, well thought-out message in general. I’ve heard men who hate this movie claim that the “feminism” in this movie is forced, and it is, just not in the way they say it is (considering they usually imply that feminism in general is bad and unnecessary). Look, Wonder Woman (as a comic book series and a character; I haven’t seen the movie yet) is feminist; the Emoji Movie is not. The Emoji Movie is trying to disguise itself as feminist (or rather what some doofuses think feminism is) as a tactic to get people to see it because that’s what people these days want to see, and the execution makes it obvious that they don’t really care about actually being feminist or even understand what it means. One person in the stream said that one of the creators claimed that Gene’s inability to handle just having one single emotion and his dad’s suppressed multiple emotions was supposed to be a metaphor about being gay (though I found it to be more akin to being a metaphor about being neurodivergent), but if that’s supposed to be true, then why not just actually make Gene gay? (Not like anybody in the LGBT+ and/or neurodivergent community would want to be associated with this garbage movie; I’m bi and autistic and I know I wouldn’t.) I honestly think that they just said it so that they could sucker people into seeing it. In fact, that’s how it seems to be for all the other “good messages” it wants to send as well: they say they’re there, but they’re just saying it because they know that’s part of what sells these days, and they think that if they just say that then people will give it their attention and money, and I honestly find that despicable.

In short, this movie offers nothing to most everyone (I say “most” only because this could be used as an example of how not to make a good movie), and the people who green-lit this should be embarrassed. I know some people want to see it ironically, but please don’t go out and see it, especially not in theaters. It’s not worth your time, and especially not worth your money.

#not a liveblog #long post #Lego Movie spoilers #Wreck-It Ralph spoilers #Emoji Movie //

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