#the announcement is basically 'we talked about the members goals for a year and came to this decision'

[daily-utsu-p]

Zsasz, Utsu-P's idol group, will be disbanding at their last live on November 4th.

Prior to this, Shino, Rom, and Saku will all have birthday live shows. There will be a late night performance on October 28th and a special event on November 3rd.

At some point in October, they will release their final album.

Thank you for supporting Zsasz.

#utsu p #utsu-p #utsup #zsasz #idol #zsasz idol #zsaszjp #saku #shuugetsu shino #tim vincent #rom #nagase ritsu #the announcement is basically 'we talked about the members goals for a year and came to this decision' #I'm really sad about it

[itsagrimm]

Imperial!Tech 3

Summary: Tech's chip activated instead of Crosshairs so Tech is now an imperial commander tasked to serve the Empire at any cost. But is he willing to do so? And are you, dear Y/N as member of the experimental Elite Squad, willing to follow any order your commander Tech gives?

CN: self-harm, talk of death murder and war crimes, stalker behaviour, soldier life in a fascist state, power imbalance, overreaching behaviour, structural violence, sexually predatory behaviour and the likes, sensual overload, insomnia, references of drug abuse, depression and mental health issues, trauma

Imperial!tech X they*them Y/N reader, afab

Thanks a lot to @eyecandyeoz for your insight, feedback and thoughts. Check out their lovely blog!

I am sorry it took me so long. next part will be faster. I already started writing it.

And feel free to criticise especially concerning my use of CN and if the reader perspective is inclusive for you.

2800 words

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Tech collapsed into the chair as soon as Y/N had left the room. He was tired, so tired. He leaned back and put on his glasses. Him taking off his visual aids around Y/N was a degree of trust Tech rarely allowed. He was nearly blind without his glasses and the Kaminoans had considered terminating him for that. Tech was sure Y/N did not even know how much he had surrendered himself to Y/N and their touch. Their oh so soft touch. The memory of it was still fresh on his skin. It raced through is mind which for once was craving to match his body with the need to slow down and take a rest.

But it didn’t.

Y/N was pleasant to be around. Their touch was careful and considered. Only his brothers used to treat him like his. – His brothers, the former clone force 99, had left him behind after they refused to comply with order 66. Due to their divergence the inhibitor chip had not worked while he, Tech, had tried to kill the Jedi. – He had tried to kill a child. – The effect of the inhibitor chip was decreasing. His wound received on Bracca had an 84,743 % chance of damaging the inhibitor chip. But he should investigate further and get the chip out to stop any possible interference with his superior thought process. - Y/N was not aware of the inhibitor chips. He felt the need to tell them. Why? – The Havoc Marauder had not been mentioned on the imperial comm chatter for a while. – Echo was likely to take care of the ship now. – He should get some sustenance. He felt hunger. – Y/N – The Empire expected a degree of loyalty, uniformity, and compliance he was unsure he could deliver for long considering his diverging mind. – what would Hunter do? – the kaminoan proverb “yn’ja tha vaí m°O” was untranslatable into Basic but could be understood in Sit Bisti as “it needs tö be döne för the betterment öf äll”- The Empire was unlikely to grant him the freedom to find his brothers or in fact any freedom. – The canteen might serve Tiingilar tonight – He was a child slave destined to die in approximately 34,6 standard yearly rotations from old age if not sooner. – maybe the canteen will serve uj’alayi too. – Does Y/N speak Mando’an? He should enquire. – Of course, there will be no uj’alayi today. The Kaminoans did not allow sweet foods. – Y/N – How did the atmospheric controls work that ensured breathable air even for the highest floors of coruscanti buildings? - He knew why his brothers left him behind, but why did it feel so painful. – The empire was likely to kill him if he out served his usefulness for them. - He had tried to kill a child. He had killed several children on Onderon. How could he live with that? How could-

Tech forced his thoughts to stop by digging his fingers into his bloody scar.

The sharp pain felt soothing.

“Let’s consider making a list of the most pressing tasks for now.”

He starred at the ceiling.

“The Empire. It is the closest threat to my demise, but it can be my salvation if I am useful. Am I willing and capable to do that?”

His head started spinning again just at the thought of killing another child for the Empire. And yet serving the Empire gave him purpose he wasn’t sure he could muster on his own.

“Where are my brothers? How are they? How do I feel about them?”

Another unpleasant wave of thoughts and feelings washed over Tech before he continued.

“What is with the inhibitor chip inside my head?”

He nodded to himself. That was a rational and containable problem with fixed variables and clear answers. He felt comfortable with that question, pushing aside all the things he might have done due to being under the chips influence.

Only one question was left now.

“Why do I enjoy Y/N presence?”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ryloth had a warm and dusty climate during daytime. Y/N felt sweat dripping under the dark armour. The elite squad, including a new ES-03, was ordered to stand close by to Admiral Rampart, the highest imperial officer on Ryloth. And so, they had spent the last rotations following the Admiral around, doing tedious security work and presenting themselves like the Admirals favourite guard dogs to a public very much disliking their military presence. For once, even commander Tech looked annoyed about their not spec-ops appropriate services.

Today they were on the outlook. The Admiral wanted them scanning a large crowd for troublemakers and resistance fighters during a public announcement. Y/N couldn’t blame them. The Twi’lek of Ryloth had spent years fighting for their independence and spilled an ocean of blood on the dusty planet’s surface only to face an Empire now. Half a life ago Y/N would have hated themselves for being a soldier in service of a suppressing ruler. But now it was paid work.

“ES-01?”, Commander Tech brought Y/N back from their thoughts

“I am in position before the crowd.”

“ES-02?”

“Yes sir, I am on the building as you ordered.”

“ES-03?”

“Any nonimperial transmissions are being blocked now.”

“ES-04?”

“The war hawk is ready for take-off in case we need it.”

“Good. Do you register any noteworthy activity?

Y/N gazed through the crowd. They were mostly Twi’lek, waiting to hear from their leaders. All of them were in civilian clothing, none came with visible weapons.

“I can’t spot anything, sir.”

Tech said nothing. But Y/N could hear him type something.

“Analysing previous rebel fighter behaviour and strategies in similar situations they are likely to appear at these coordinates within the crowd today. I am sending you a list for you to especially pay attention to, ONCE.”, he finally said using the moniker the elite squad had given Y/N.

“Yes sir.”

Y/N looked at their holopad and started checking the coordinates commander Tech had calculated. At entry four they spotted their targets.

“Commander. I have a visual about 40 meters from my position, 10 o’clock. There are two fighters. Twi’lek. One female and one male passing. Shade of blue and orange.”

A moment everyone was silent.

“Confirmed.”, ES-02 stated.

Another moment passed.

“Observe them for now. Stay alert.”, Tech ordered before ending the transmission.

High above the Twi’lek senator started to talk. Y/N could not remember his name and paid little attention to his words. Unlike the Twi’lek.

“They are not happy.”, ES-02 stated flatly.

“Yeah thanks, I would not have noticed without you.”

“Always a pleasure to help out, ONCE.”

ES-02 was right. The crowd was angry. The imperial presence, the empty words of some disaffected politician, the fresh memories of the clone war. It was no surprise that the Twi’lek called out for their resistance leaders to speak.

“We want Syndulla! We want Syndulla!”, the crowd chanted.

A different voice from above started speaking. The crowd calmed down, not entirely happy but at least not a raging mob.

“At least we will not have to gun them down, now.”, ES-02 mumbled with a bitter voice.

“Would you really do that, two?”

“You know what they say, good soldiers follow orders, ONCE. And I intend to be one. Especially when I’m getting paid for it.”

XXXXXXXXXXX

Rampart was an asshole. He was a smug little administrator, willing to lie, back-stab and sacrifice whatever needed to achieve his goals. Rampart was the perfect general to handle a loaded situation like the one on Ryloth. And he was no fool.

Y/N hat noticed that he had kept both commander Tech and Howzer, the commanding clone trooper in charge of the regular clone troopers on Ryloth, close. A strategic move. Spec-ops commandos like the elite squad and regular commandos were in constant competition and mistrust to each other. Should one commander not deliver or even consider treason the other would interfere. And Rampart would always end up on the winning side of their clone infighting.

Y/N could here their arguing inside the office.

Commander Tech had ordered for Y/N to wait outside the office for new orders.

More arguing from the office was audible until finally Ramparts voice cut their bickering short.

The door opened and Howzer left. His expression was that of a practised reserved solider hiding his worries.

The door opened again, and commander Tech stepped outside of Ramparts office.

He looked tense.

Instead of a greeting or an order he just started walking. They followed him.

“Clone force 99 is here. But we are kept on a short leash. As always.”, Tech stated, “It is implausible to not use the best tools possible when confronted with a problem. Howzers troopers will not be able to beat them if necessary. Just like they won’t be able or unwilling to beat the Twi’lek should the need arise.”

Since Kamino the commander had started to share more of his thoughts with Y/N. All they had left to do was to listen and ask the right questions.

“Sir, you think Howzer will commit subordination?”

“There is a possibility of him and his men disagreeing with the new imperial leadership and it’s methods. Howzers unit has fought alongside the Twi’leks the past years. Bounds forged in the trenches can be stronger than loyalty to an administrator from Coruscant. But I require further data to assess the likelihood of treason.”

“What about clone force 99?”

“Their abilities and erratic strategies will be a challenge should we … no, should I have to face them.”

“So, we did not get the order to hunt them down?”

“No. Not yet.”

“And yet you already imply them as of importance.”

“It would be a grave strategic mistake to dismiss their presence.”

“So, what is the elite squad going to do about them? What are your orders, sir?”

Tech paused and adjusted his glasses.

“We are going to do nothing.”

“Sir!?”

“Don’t.” There was a warning in his voice. A signal to Y/N not to cross a line, invisible yet perceptible. He was after all a commander and Y/N just a soldier.

“I am sorry. I overstepped. You are in charge.”

He turned, stepped away and looked at Y/N. His eyes scrutinized them like a scientist inspecting a rare specimen of remarkable value.

They shivered.

His gaze was intriguing. It was painful to feel on display like that. And yet it was nearly intimate to be studied by Tech. Unsure if he would finally hit Y/N for their countless discretions or if he just contemplated their objections.

Finally, Tech nodded appeased and continued his walking without any further talk.

“What do you want us to do now, sir?”

Tech stopped.

“What do I want you to do now?”, Tech repeated as if the question had a different meaning to him than it had to Y/N.

He took out his holopad only to put it away again. He cleared his throat.

“I need you to stay alert. The situation is complicated. For now, get some sleep. The chances are below 4,65 % that there will be a significant development within the next two hours. After that I except the elite squad to be combat ready.”

“Yes sir.”

XXXXXXXXX

The Refresher room was empty. Most clones avoided the elite squad, and all the other members of their unit were taking a nap before the night shift which left Y/N to have the large washroom for themselves.

They signed.

Taking a shower and having some alone time to think and feel before finally taking a rest was what they needed.

Y/N started to strip out of the armour.

First, they took of the helmet, then the vambraces and shin guards before getting the shoulder pieces and lifting the heavy breast armour off before finally getting out of the abdomen armour. The black katarn fell to the floor, making loud echoing noises.

Y/N didn’t care. No one was to correct them on their improper handling of equipment here.

And as much as the armour was a useful necessity, it was a heavy burden in more than one way.

Their blacks followed and soon Y/N was standing under the refresher, naked and alone.

The water was hot and painful.

It was a welcome distraction to all the feelings of … well what exactly?

Y/N felt tears running down their face.

No, no, no. It’s just the refresher.

An uptight sob escaped Y/Ns throat. It was all so different from what they imagined. They had entered imperial service for the payment during a desperate time. And ended up witnessing murder after murder, committing murder.

Today they could have become accomplices to killing a crowd of innocent Twi’leks. And Y/N knew that they would have complied with the order to open fire on the civilians if given. How could they not? Surrounded by troopers like them, ordered around by heartless and calculating commanders.

Would Tech give a killing order like this?

Was he that heartless?

He had done so before.

He had killed so many times before their eyes and yet a piece of Y/N refused to see him as a murderer. In fact, they felt shameful about feeling and thinking about Tech – about their commanding officer – at all.

Y/N stopped fighting the tears and cried out loud.

Nobody would know about this.

Nobody would know about their doubt and vulnerability.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As always sleep had been an unwilling friend to visit Tech. With a sigh he gave up and got up from the cot. As always, his mind was racing. He had tried the breathing techniques Crosshair taught him after a particular long stretch of insomnia, but it didn’t work.

And Tech wasn’t in the mood to experiment with the vast collection of sedatives to force his body to sleep right before possibly facing his brothers and definitely meeting admiral Rampart soon.

Work it was then.

His holopad listed only unchallenging administrative tasks.

The new Shuttle was in top shape.

His weapons were cleaned.

Tech had nothing to keep is overthinking brain in check.

Kriff, his life really was miserable. A never-ending effort to bringing his spiralling mind some peace.

A notification came in.

What a blessing.

Tech looked at the holopad again. It was just a reminder to check on his subordinates, to listen in on their private talks and vital signs.

The order from Imperial Command was an uncomfortable task but it was the best he had to do right now. And listing in on some snoring was better than listening to the elite squads talk like last time. At least it felt less overreaching.

He started with ES-04 and workout down from there. Four was in deep slumber, nothing of interest to note. ES-03 was still new and his sleep was restless, a few murmurs about his home planet and family escaped his lips. ES-02 was dreaming. His heartrate was accelerated. Tech turned his observation of, not interested in the rutting sounds of ES-02.

ES-01 was left. ONCE. Y/N. The thought of peeping into their private life was not only uncomfortable, but it also felt violent to strip Y/N of their peace and privacy.

And yet, Y/N was the only one Tech WANTED to know more about. He felt his desire to learn more about Y/N like a physical need, an addicting obsession Tech knew he needed to be careful with not to indulge.

Was their slumber peaceful and sweet?

Did they have dreams about home?

Or did they fight their nightmares in sleep just like they did awake?

He swallowed.

He was just following an order.

He will do nothing more.

He was just a good soldier.

Y/N wasn’t asleep. Their bucket was off and there were no vital signs coming of them. But the acoustic signal was working.

Y/N was somewhere with a lot of echoes and running water.

Tech felt himself blushing and getting hot.

They were in the shower.

It felt so right to listen in on Y/N. Tech felt bad about it.

The thought of water running down their bare and naked body made Techs mind slow like nothing ever before. The pleasure of a calm mind made him groan.

He hesitated. This was not okay. He shouldn’t listen. He shouldn’t imagine a subordinate like that. He hated that he had to. He hated that the Empire gave him order to do so. But more than that he hated himself for following that order so willingly.

He reached for the off button on his holopad.

A sob.

Was that Y/N? Were they crying?

Tech’s mind went from zero into overdrive. He needed to know who or whatever made you feel like crying. He would find out. And he would remove whatever it was from your life.

Part 4

#the sad batch #the bad batch #imperial!tech #imperial tech #tbb #the bad batch tech #tbb tech #tbb toxic tech #star wars fanfiction #star wars the clone wars #swtcw #swtbb #sw: tbb #good soldiers follow orders #tech x you #tech x y/n #tech bad batch #tbb x you #tbb x reader #grimmwriting

[mcwriting]

The Marriage Project (2)

part 2 is already here! fun fact, I’ve actually written like 16 chapters and I probs won’t always be posting weekly but I really wanted to put out part 2 sooooo... yeah. The Tom Holland x reader high school AU continues

Story Masterlist

Warnings: mild language

Word Count: 2365 (shorter than before, I know)

% approximately 1st week of September %

The next week had been relatively uneventful. Mrs. Flynn gave you both an A on your budget for the first week.

She also drew the next weekly condition, which for you was a $300 doctor’s visit of one family member.

“Well that’s stupid. If this were real life, we wouldn’t even need to take our kids to the doctor as PA’s,” Tom argued.

“First off, it’s not real life, and secondly, what if the kid broke a bone? Who’s gonna cast it, genius?”

“Well we probably wouldn’t have to pay,” he grumbled

When Friday afternoon hit, you were almost disappointed to see Tom not in the stands for your game, but remembered that the team had to start all their pregame rituals a couple hours before kickoff.

After crushing the competition, you took a quick shower and put on the shirt every senior was supposed to wear and walked to the field, where some of your friends had already claimed a spot on the bleachers. 

It was still a half hour before kickoff, so you talked as they helped put paint streaks on your cheeks and tie ribbons in your hair to show school spirit. You also watched the boys run drills until they were called to the sidelines for the national anthem. 

The team captains met for the coin toss, and as Tom and his co captain headed back to the team huddle, Tom spotted you in the crowd and pointed directly at you.

You didn’t know what he was doing so you quickly flipped him off and went back to your conversation.

They ended up winning the game by a field goal, and true to his word, Tom had actually played pretty well, aside from getting sacked towards the end of the game. 

You and the girls, not yet wanting to go home, hung out in the parking lot as families left.

“Hey, look. It’s your husband,” Alexis pointed out as Tom and a couple other players came limping down the lot with bags in tow. They were still wearing their football pants but had removed their jerseys, leaving on sleeveless compression shirts.

“Ugh. Don’t remind me. But I will say, his mom already loves me. We’re on a first name basis.”

She gave you a little low-five out of pride.

You couldn’t help but notice Tom pull the necklace out from under his shirt’s collar, the ring still attached.

Did he wear that the whole game?

He spotted you from a few yards away and yelled out,

“Hey hey hey. What did I tell you? Swooning yet?” he held his arms out as if to show he was right.

“Not quite, bub. But I’ll give you that touchdown pass. Don’t forget we have to work on the budget tomorrow!”

“Yeah yeah, see you then, princess.” He waved a hand as he continued on to his car.

Ugh. Princess.

Tom had been calling you that ever since the time freshman year you were the leading princess in a school play. 

You had hated the role for many reasons. 

For one, the character had no development and was basically dumb and defenseless (aka the exact opposite of you and everything you stood for). On top of that, the costumes were hideous, and what should have been a couple of pretty ballgowns and flowing skirts ended up being completely unflattering in color, shape, and style.

Everyone knew you hated it, and Tom loved to rub that in your face.

Eventually, you decided to retire home for the night since you had had such a taxing day.

%

You rang the Holland’s doorbell again, and this time it was opened by Tom’s youngest brother, Paddy. He was in the 5th grade, so you didn’t know him well. 

A perfect opportunity to make a good impression.

“Hey there, Paddy. Is Tom around? We’re supposed to work on our project today.”

“I’m not sure where he is, but I’m sure I can find him. Come on in.”

“Oh thank you. So polite.”

He sheepishly looked down as his face reddened. 

“I’ll be right back.”

He ran to the stairs and disappeared up them. A few minutes later an exhausted looking Tom appeared at the top of the stairs next to his brother.

“Come on up, I need to take a piss before we get started.” he called down, ever the charmer. He rubbed his eyes. He was only wearing a pair of sweats.

You followed his word and sat down on his bedroom floor, pulling up the documents on your computer as you waited. He came back wearing a shirt, a mug of coffee in hand.

“Want some? I made it fresh. I just woke up if you couldn’t tell.”

“No thanks. I don’t drink coffee, I find it disgusting. Caffeine addiction’s bad for you anyways.”

He looked down at the drink and back at you.

“Well we can’t all be perfect little princesses.”

You wanted to slap him, but just fired back with an insult and got to work. There wasn’t as much to do today other than reallocate the funds for the appointment and make up a story of what could have happened.

You both laid on your stomachs looking at the screen. As you typed, you heard heavy breathing and glanced over to see Tom had fallen back asleep.

Wow. He almost looks nice when he’s sleeping. What a disappointment.

You finished your paragraph and shook him awake.

“Ugh. sorry. I told you I’m a mess after game days.”

He went to push up to a sitting position when he winced, inhaling sharply. He put his head back on the ground.

“Woah there. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just pulled a muscle in my back last night. I think it’s from that sack.”

“Do you need me to get you something? LIke icy hot or some advil? I carry both at all times.”

“Icy hot would be perfect. I already took some painkillers.”

You shifted up and grabbed your backpack, pulling out the tube. You tossed it next to him to use.

“I hate to ask this, because you’re you, but could you put it on for me? I don’t think I can reach.”

You hesitated, but agreed since you knew what it felt like to be in pain like that. 

“Okay. Give me a general idea of where it is and I’ll poke around to find it.”

“Just under my shoulder blades on the right.”

He pulled up his shirt and you went to touch his back lightly. He flinched when your fingers graced his skin.

“Oh yeah, my hands are cold by the way.”

“No shit.”

You put your hand back, pressing lightly until he winced again, then you put a small amount of the ointment on your hand, massaging it in.

 You rhythmically rubbed your hand over the area in little circles, trying to loosen the tight muscle with your palm. You didn’t think much about it until he let out a moan, and you pulled your hand back like he was on fire.

“Oh my God I’m so sorry. It just felt so good on that spot and it just slipped out-”

“Let’s just agree to never mention this again. I’m gonna go wash my hands. And hopefully my brain while I’m at it. Where’s your bathroom?”

“Just across the hall. Can’t miss it.”

A little bit later and you were finally done for the day, so you helped Tom up and again packed your things.

“Sorry again about earlier. Thanks, though. It really helped.”

“Like I said, we don’t need to talk about it. Just never make that sound again, please. See you Monday.”

And with that you were out the door.

%

Another week, and Mrs. Flynn gave you another A and a budget condition.

Both you and Tom again won at your respective sporting events, and you again went to Tom’s.

Throughout the week, you and Tom had been on your usual game, firing shots. But at home it was like he was a different person. Sure you still jabbed at each other occasionally, but there was a more friendly aspect to it this week.

You were sitting on the floor when you felt a familiar pain in your lower abdomen.

You ignored it for a minute, but then it hit twice as strong. Immediately you shot up.

“I'm going to the bathroom,” you stated, speaking quickly.

“Uh. Okay?”

You rushed in and as you sat down pulled up your period tracker app. 

You weren’t supposed to start for 4 more days.

Well that’s a lie you thought as you caught a streak of red upon wiping.

You dug through the under-sink cabinet, hoping and praying to find something, anything you could use. When that came up dry, you just stuffed up some toilet paper and resigned to getting a tampon from your backpack.

A sense of panic filled your chest, however, when you realized the little bag you kept with extra supplies was nowhere to be found. That’s when you remembered that you had taken it out to replenish and apparently never put it back.

“Oh no. Oh no no no!”

There wasn’t even a single liner at the bottom of the bag.

“What’s got you in a tiff, princess? Don’t we have everything we need already?”

You sighed. You weren’t one to announce when you were on your period, since guys liked to believe that all women become bitches when they bleed. But you were desperate.

“Look, I know you’re gonna make fun of me, but I just started my period and don’t have anything to deal with it and I don’t know what to do.”

“Can’t you just hold it?”

“Ha ha good one. Seriously though I don’t know what I’m gonna do. If I don’t figure out something fast, I’ll bleed through my pants.”

Tom looked at you confused.

“Wait a second,” you started. “You weren’t serious right then, right? Like you do know it’s something women can’t control?”

“WHAT?” he exclaimed. “You can’t?”

“You know, for someone who calls himself so smart you sure are a dumbass. How do you know nothing about periods? You play football, haven’t you had a girlfriend before?”

He got quiet.

“No. I’m too busy competing with you that when I do get free time, everyone gets really intimidated by you.”

“Oh... “ you didn’t know what to say, but then a cramp hit you like a ton of bricks and you doubled over. “Ugh. could you just go get your mom? I need to go back to the bathroom and try not to throw up.”

Eventually, Nikki came and left some midol, tampons, and a heating pad for you and you were able to go back to Tom’s room, finding him leaning against his bed. He sat up straight when you walked in.

“Are- are you okay? You seemed to be in a lot of pain earlier.”

You plugged in the heating pad and turned it on, laying down on your back so you could drape it across your stomach. The midol hadn’t yet kicked in.

“Yeah, I’m good. It was early this month and I just wasn’t prepared,” you said staring at the ceiling, but turned your head to look at him. 

“Sorry if what I said was insensitive. I just figured you knew more about it than the average guy and I was so panicked that I wasn’t thinking straight. I’ve never had a boyfriend either. Same situation.”

“Hah, nerd.” 

You rolled your eyes and threw a nearby pillow at him. 

“Like you have room to talk. Now let’s just finish this so I can go home and take a nap.”

%

When you got to home ec Monday, you hadn’t spoken to Tom since leaving his house Saturday. Frankly, you were embarrassed about the situation still and figured he felt awkward too. 

Then, of course, you learned that Mrs. Flynn had decided to throw the class a curveball to tie the marriage project into regular class assignments.

For a unit on sewing, she was making each couple work together to make a small “marriage quilt” approximately the size of a baby blanket. Partners would have to work together to choose the colors, make a design, and sew it together within 2 weeks in class.

So there you were, sitting in the back corner of the room discussing design options and drawing up a pattern with Tom.

Upon realizing you both loved blue, you decided to make a blue based quilt. There would be little teal and pink accents as well in a couple of the fabrics you chose.

You sat in silence as you both cut small squares of fabric and batting. Other groups were talking, but things still felt heavy.

“Hey, uh. About Saturday…” Tom began quietly from the right of you.

“Please don’t bring it up. Everything turned out fine so let’s just keep it that way. I don’t need you to embarrass me more.”

“No, it’s not that. I just… what you said got me thinking. I know about all kinds of stuff and I’d like to go into medicine one day, but I know nothing about women’s health. So, I spent a good portion of yesterday researching and honestly, I had no idea how much you all go through. We may hate each other, but I respect you a lot more than before.”

“Oh. Wow. You know, I’m sure you read about it yesterday, but it’s super different for everyone. I wouldn’t even consider mine nearly as bad to some peoples’. But that’s really nice of you. And just because we hate each other doesn’t mean I won’t offer to let you ask me questions whenever. Education is way more important than any rivalry.” 

He smiled slightly and looked down at his desk, then back up, putting out his left fist. 

“Is a fist bump a good enough agreement to let each other ask any kinds of questions like that, no malice intended?” he asked.

You smiled back and hit your right fist to his left one. Eventually you went back to your normal arguing, but you couldn’t stop replaying the scene in your head.

%

A/N: thanks for reading guys! I’m so so busy with school right now that it’s going to be hard to release chapters weekly but I am trying to keep a somewhat regular upload schedule! I’ve written about 16 chapters so I have a lot of content to share already and there’s still more before I finish. As always, I can’t reply to post replies but my messages and asks are always open! 

Tag List: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06

#The Marriage Project #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland au #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #high school!tom holland #sam holland #Harry Holland #paddy holland

[sinagrace]

Iceman’s been back on my mind lately. It started with the internet rumor that Shia Labeouf was being considered to play the role of Bobby Drake in a Marvel Cinematic Universe version of the X-Men. My DMs and @Mentions on social media were a mixture of intense reaction and then asking my take on who would make a great Bobby Drake (for the record: in my head I always saw him as a younger Antoni Porowski with a theater background, ‘cuz playing the funny guy with a vulnerable streak requires serious acting shops). My mind went back to the time of BC, when I was doing a lot of touring, and answering this very question because of my work on the Iceman book at Marvel. One thing led to another, and I decided to take a trip further down memory lane to look at my favorite volume of the series: Amazing Friends. Now, I know I’ve spent equal amounts of time publicly stating what a gift working on Iceman was, while also calling out the challenges that came with the experience, but the third volume really was a pure blessing. I was able to take every valuable lesson I learned as a writer, and apply it to telling a story that would be interesting to one person: Me. I’ve been a lifelong X-Men fan, I live and breathe comics, so my own expectations for a return to the series seemed like the only ones to really worry about meeting/ surpassing. The first two volumes had been so bogged down by rotating editors, complex continuity, company-wide events, multiple artists… The third volume was my chance to focus on what an Iceman series was outside of so much context. All that mattered was challenging myself to do an X-Men story that focused on the aspects of the franchise I felt were valuable and relevant, meaning: excuses to have Emma Frost be an asshole and finding an opportunity to make fun of Kitty Pryde’s haircut. Before moving on from Marvel, Axel Alonso made time to call me for a pep talk about the series. I wanted to get the series extended, and he wanted to help me succeed with the ten issues he could commit to. First, he offered an eleventh issue to give me more time on the stands. He took a look at everything I had planned, and basically told me to restructure with an eye for ramping up the pace. My writing background comes from prose and essays/ think pieces… both of which are methodical and provide some allowance from the reader to really take your time and set up the world before diving into the meat. That’s not the case with comics. You gotta work fast. Especially in today’s market, there is less and less room for a retailer to say, “give it two volumes, because shit starts really coming together by the third trade.” That was literally my speech for hooking people on such iconic series as Invincible, Fables, and Strangers in Paradise. Nowadays, every single issue is not a brick to be laid down as foundation so much as a bullet in your gun. Conflicting imagery, but that’s the point. Axel told me to think about the Big Moments in my life and sort out how to inject the mutant metaphor into it and make the most compelling comic book story I could. This was epic advice that I took with me into the new arc, but I struggled a bit with what could be bigger than the “coming out” storyline in volume one. Love was off the table because I wanted to keep Bobby single and ready to mingle. Death was off the table too, because my editor felt like we’d done enough with Bobby’s parents in the first two volumes. Upon looking at my own life, and considering the stuff me and my friends were dealing with, I landed on something a bit more reflective than LIFE or DEATH. I wanted to focus on that moment when a gay guy looks outside of himself and realizes the folks around him may not have it so easy. After everything we’ve been dealing with this summer, Iceman’s “big issue” of the arc feels oddly prescient. Bobby Drake had to reconcile his accidental complicit role in keeping the Morlocks down, and he has to investigate new approaches to being a better ally to those who don’t want to or can’t live under the protection of the X-Men. I used the Morlocks to allegorically speak to the issues that the trans/ NB community face today. Considering that trans folks are facing higher rates of homelessness and murder than other members of the LGBTQIA+ community, all I needed to do was find a perfect villain to treat the Morlocks as “lesser-than.” Cue Mister Sinister, who I wrote as particularly Darwinist with a major flair for interactive theater. While Amazing Friends definitely is the most fun I’ve had working on the book, it was also full of the heaviest shit I’ve written about. I’m so grateful that my editor let me use Emma Frost for a story about the trauma of gay conversion therapy with her brother Christian, but I’m still annoyed he wouldn’t let me put her in a sickening Givenchy outfit for her reveal. Similarly, creating the Madin character required that I chat with several mental healthcare professionals and members of the NB community to respectfully portray them as a resilient and fleshed out hero. I included personal lessons that I learned from years of the therapy (the sandcastle / sea image, a Jay Edidin fave moment). My editor and I weren’t always aligned, but we definitely were on each other’s side. He understood what I was trying to do and asked questions when something flew over his head, and he even had the good instincts to stop me from going too heavy handed with the ending. My original idea for the arc’s finale was to have Bobby become permanently scarred in his fight with Sinister, where he’d have a cool ice gash running across his face or something, a la Squall from Final Fantasy 8. The goal was to show Iceman stripping himself of his ability to pass as non-mutant to save the Morlocks, but the Mutant Pride fight scene being a stand-in for the Stonewall Riots kind of already made enough of a statement. Plus, no one in editorial wanted to deal with remembering to track his scar in other books. At first I tried to balk at his point of view, but when I looked over my original notes for the series, the point was to focus on optimism and hope. Giving Bobby a permanent scar and emphasizing the notion of sacrifice was too bleak a message for a series wherein the hero carbo-loads hoagies while riding an ice scooter and mutant drag queens emcee local festivals. Of course, the crowning achievement of the series… my mutant drag queen :) I’ve witnessed a lot when it comes to the world of pop culture and myth-making, and I 100% believe that you can’t plan the success of something. I’ve seen bands forced into breaking up because labels spend six figures failing at making listeners connect with an album. I witnessed firsthand how The Walking Dead was built from relatively humble beginnings as a buzzy cable drama into a literal international phenomenon over the course of its first three seasons. Everyone hopes for the best, but you never know how something will land with audiences. When the Shade character took off, I was truly astounded. Things I posted on Instagram while half-asleep became official quotes on major news sites. Queens and cosplayers were interpreting her like Margot Robbie had unveiled a new Harley Quinn lewk. The impact was so legit and immediate that we had to jump in and give Shade a proper Marvel hero alias, to truly welcome her into the X-Men canon. Hence the name change to Darkveil. (Funny story: I tried to fight hard for Madame X as an alias, but CB didn’t want another Agent X / “X-Name” character. Three months later, Madonna announced the Madame X album. Phew!) There was a time where I felt uncertain that the folks in charge at Marvel would bring Darkveil into any stories outside of the ones I wrote. My understanding was that Hickman was like the Cylons and had A Plan-- one that didn’t include her character. I made peace with my contribution to the Marvel Universe being contained, but then someone on social media pointed out that Darkveil showed up in an issue of Marvel Voices. After breaking down and reading Hickman’s House of X, I saw that his Plan was one of endless possibilities, and that he was moving EVERY character into new and dynamic places. I have hope now that he sees the possibilities with Darkveil, and takes advantage of her and all of her many body pouches. Amazing Friends really is my favorite thing I’ve done for the Big Two. I made a lifelong friend out of artist Nate Stockman (DC, please hire us for a Plasticman book), and I got to run a victory lap with the most encouraging and supportive readers out there. It was worth every dreadful conversation, every shitty thing a person said to me online, and all of the fun nonsense that goes into being creative for a living. Being stuck at home in quarantine has given me a lot of time to reflect on the gift that my career to date has been, and I feel so grateful to be where I am today. Other people may groan when they have to talk about something they’ve moved on from, but not me. I made people happier, I got to work with my favorite characters at Marvel, and and I'll say it again: it’s a frickin’ gift to make people move from your work. So, I will engage every tweet or message asking me my thoughts about who should play Bobby Drake in the Marvel Cinematic Universe… I’ll just never have a good answer.

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH31

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4,782

- Author Note: Happy new year! the beginning of the year has always been crazy, hahaha sorry for late update~ my goals are still similar, to finish posting BTS caretaker before 2021 endss. stay safe everyone <3

Previous | Next

Chapter 31

“Nuna!” Hoon announced while making his way inside the shop with a bright smile. “You seem happy” Seul popped out behind the counter with a huge smile. Wongeun looked at Hoon quizzically, from the corner of his eyes he caught a glimpse of giggly high schoolers swooning over the young man in front of him.

He let out a small chuckle “Someone earns bunch of fangirls” Seul followed his gaze and cringed instantly at the sight.

“What is so good about Hoon?” she slanted a look his ways and found him frowning as he gazed up Seul’s face. His eyes narrowed as he sneered sarcastically “Do I need to remind you I appeared in a show which is insanely famous with bunch of other good-looking men on planet. Technically, I am a celebrity now” Wongeun stared at him in amazement, more like because of Hoon’s confidence.

“Celebrity my foot. The only good-looking about you is your smart brain. Drinks?” she repressed her giggle watching the younger guy pulled a long face, looking petulant. “Mango smoothies. Your treat” he trailed off to his seat before his sister could protest.

Wongeun nudged her, laughing heartily “I wonder where he got that attitude, he is a male version of you” she had a dissatisfied look on her face, and he couldn’t stop teasing her until she had enough. Seul ditched Wongeun and prepared Hoon’s drink as she was excited to hear the good news from him.

She prepared the drink with extra care and love knowing how things had changed between them. These days had been nothing but rainbows. Hoon opened up to her more, and they learned how to respect each other. That was more than enough to foster this relationship.

“Boo!” Hwasa came up behind her unannounced with hope to startle the girl, but only to get twisted on ears by Seul. “Ow, Ji Seul! You, horrible woman” she swatted her hand, rubbing her ears with a slight pout.

“That is what you get for fooling around like a kid. Why are you late today?” she pressed.

“There you go acting like a mom. I had to submit my final project. I will take over the night shift today, so you can head back early to meet your oppas” she was teasing Seul, wiggling her brows up and down.

Seul rolled her eyes at her “Meet my my oppas” she mirrored her making the latter to throw a nasty glare. “The only oppas that I approve is Jeon Jungkook, have you made up your mind yet?” Hwasa’s question paused her beating heart. It continued to pump not long after a little quicker and wilder than earlier. She was affected by it though she tried her best to get used to the fact that there were men lined up behind her.

Clearing her dry throat, she placed the drink on the tray along with a plate of brownies. She avoided her best friend wary glance, just when she thought Hwasa finally took her discomfort seriously, the girl spoke up again. “Lucky woman. You have Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around your little finger. You are basically living the dreams of every girl on planet” she pursed her lips.

“You don’t need to emphasize my small fingers. Gosh, if and only you know how hard it is to deal with those hormonal men” Hwasa choke up as her ears caught the last phrase clearly. She let out a high pitch squeal surprising everyone in the shop. Panickily, Seul covered her loud mouth with her hand hushing her down.

Hwasa was exaggerating her reaction which annoyed the hell out of her, “Oh my god, what do you mean by hormonal men? What did they do to you?” her voice was muffled underneath Seul’s palm. She pulled away her hand, glaring at her best friend signalling her to stop asking questions. To her dismay, questions after questions came from her without stop.

“Did you do it with any of the members?”

“If yes then who?”

“Goodness! Could it be Min Yoongi! I knew it since he is the most aggressive one!”

“Wait-Wait could it be Jeon Jungkook? He may be innocent, but I wonder what is hidden under those shirt”

Seul’s cheeks reddened like a ripe tomato as Hwasa continued to harass her mind with those wild imagination “Yah! It is not like what you think. Stop stop, I am getting dizzy. This is not working. Our conversation ends right now. Cover for me, I need to talk to Hoon” she shook her head and flee from the scene before her precious best friend explored another topic to annoy her.

Hwasa gawked in disbelief watching the girl disappeared from her sight without giving her any answers.

 --------------

“Guess what!” he clasped his hand, resting his elbows on the table. Seul scrutinized his face with a questionable look “You got dumped by a girl?” he reached out and flicked her forehead earning a nasty scowl from the girl.

Hoon frowned “No, you silly! Remember I went for an audition today?” he chortled excitedly.

“So, you got kicked out before you could even open your dirty mouth?” she joked.

Gasping dramatically, he placed a hand over his chest as if he just got shot by a bullet “Of course not meanie! I got in. Well, not officially as a trainee but I passed the first and second stage. Next month, I will be meeting them again for the final stage” Seul smiled fondly at her brother. He continued to share his story and his face lit up with a bright smile.

Just seeing the smile on his face was enough to keep her satisfied for the rest of her life. Hoon’s happiness meant the world to her. “Are you happy Hoon-ah?” he nodded without any hesitation.

“Then that is enough. As long as you are happy, I will always be with you. I promise..” she brightens her smile, grasping his hand in hers.

His large hand began stroking hers “Thank you nuna for having a faith in me. I will not waste this opportunity and make you and mother proud! Oh, by the time I become a big star like BTS, I am hiring you as my personal caretaker. You can quit your job at BTS” he cracked a silly grin.

“I am so not babysitting you Ji Hoon! Ew, that sounds torturous and hellish” she cringed at the thought.

“It is not that bad. I am your brother, so it is better to look after your own flesh rather than strangers. Wait, don’t tell me you are dating one of the members since you seem reluctant to leave them?” his eyes bore into hers, mentally judging his sister.

“Are you here to pick a fight? Don’t you dare to have those wicked ideas in your head. Now finish your drinks and brownies, I need to work” she whacked him on the back of his head making the latter to hiss in pain.

“What is that for?! I am stating the obvious! Just so you know I like someone dependable like Jin hyung or Namjoon hyung to look after a clumsy woman like you” rubbing his head, he pouted slightly.

Seul gritted his teeth “What is with everyone invading my personal life?! You and Hwasa need to mind your own business, my god. Give me a break will you!” she leaned back into the seat and squeezed her eyes.

She waggled at his direction, gesturing the innocent guy to leave “Don’t stay, you only bring more harm than good. I will pack your brownies and enjoy it at home instead. You’re giving me a major headache” she massaged her temples, groaning lowly.

“Yah you evil witch! I am still your customer. Should I report you to your manager?”

She rose out of her seat, shooting daggers at his way “You don’t even pay for your drinks. Get ready to leave, Ji Hoon-ssi” Hoon pursed his lips before muttering something just to annoy Seul again. “If you don’t want Jin hyung or Namjoon hyung. Yoongi hyung would suffice. He is a cool hyung.” she walloped his head again, cussing in her head.

“Ji Seul-ssi that is rude!”

“You deserve that”

 --------------

When the clock struck six, Seul’s shift ended and she was ready to meet the boys at their dorm. They spammed their group chat in the last two hours with tons of selfies and irrelevant messages just to get her attention. Scanning the messages briefly, she scoffed at their childishness and shoved her phone inside her sling bag.

She fixed her hair one last time before heading out, bidding farewell to her fellow colleagues. Wongeun who noticed her presence at the counter, stopped whatever he was doing and shifted his attention on her “Do you have to work again after this?” his eyes disappeared as he smiled.

“No, I am meeting my friend. Are you staying until the closing?” Wongeun pressed his lips, glancing at the round clock on the wall. “Seems like it. Our boss plans to pay a visit” her mouth agape in horror.

“Oppa! Why didn’t you tell me that our boss is coming? I can’t leave if he is planning to come. Would it be rude to leave since this is his first time visiting us?” out of habit, she chewed her nails and started to freak out.

Wongeun chuckled lightly “You are overreacting. That old man doesn’t even know who is working here, all he knows is the number of the employee. Don’t worry, your shift already ends. You don’t need to stay though. Enjoy your time with your friend” Seul stared at him suspiciously.

“But, what if he is not in a good mood and-“ the tall guy cut her off once again, chuckling softly. “That won’t happen, can you just leave peacefully and stop worrying about him” he said firmly.

Placing the dry dishes on the island, Hwasa nodded in agreement “We will handle him. Go and meet your oppas. They must be waiting!” Wongeun crossed his arms, gazing tenderly at Seul.

“Oppas? How many oppas that you have which isn’t me?” she let out a tired sigh, glaring at her best friend who had put her innocent façade. Sneaky woman.

“I am not going to have this talk again. Hwasa if I hear you spread another rumour about me, I will strangle you to death. It is a promise” she said, exchanging a hard stare with her. “I will see you guys tomorrow. Have fun meeting the boss. Take photos for me, bye!” she winked cheekily, making her way to the entrance.

Seul bumped into someone as she got close to the entrance and looked up into the stranger’s eyes. To her distaste, the stranger is not really a stranger at least to her. She remembered those eyes. Her mind and body froze suddenly. Every muscle in her body tightened as a flash of memories gushed in her mind. It was him.

She could tell his eyes flickered in amusement and confusion. He had aged since the last time she saw him. His face got thinner, there was an obvious wrinkled at the corner of his sharp eyes, but she remembered those cruel eyes. The evil eyes had thrusted into her iris causing her to squirm under his cold gaze.

Her face contorted in pain and disgust. She felt the need to escape from this place immediately, or else the horrible memories might come attacking her again. This time there’s no Jin’s kisses to save her.

His hands almost rested on her body but shield away before they could. He gazed at her with heavy eyes that gleamed darkly “It has been a long time” this man’s voice disgusted her and sent chills down her spine. How was it possible to meet him again after years?  

Seul clenched and unclenched her fists. Seul’s silent treatment caused him to frown in disapproval. He disliked her coldness and rudeness. “You never change, I can see..” he sneered with a smirk.

Fighting dizziness, she managed to get back her sense and walked pass the man avoiding his fiery gaze. The only thing matters right now was to escape from this evil man. She would not allow him to control her life or worse claiming her as his. Wongeun and Hwasa were left in daze as they watched her figure disappeared from their vicinity.

Realizing that he had been staring way too long at the older man, Wongeun gathered his thought and hurriedly welcoming the man, forcing a smile on his face “Good evening Sir” Hwasa eyes widened upon hearing the greetings. Her body automatically bended over into a deep bow mirroring Wongeun, showing respect to their employer.

The man moved his eyes down scrutinizing the young man before him as he finally straightened up “The young lady just now, is she one of the employee here?” his questions startled Wongeun.

“Yes, Sir! Ji Seul has been working here for two years. Please forgive her cold demeanour, she has no idea that you will be coming. And, she doesn’t know you are the owner” said Wongeun. He sounded like he’s pleading the old man to spare Seul’s life.

A small smirk edged the corners of his mouth “Interesting. Let’s get back to business. Bring out the annual report” he ordered.

 -------------------

7 Years Ago

Scanning the dark room, Seul squeezed the hot tears out in despair. She had tried to open the oak door using every ounce of her strength. Unfortunately, it came to no avail. There was no sign of Mr Kwon coming to mentally and physically tortured her today.

Every day was hell.

She suffered an intense psychological harassment, which drained her energy.

The cruel man would tie her up to the bedpost leaving her only in her undergarments. He would use different toys or equipment just to torture her. To see her body squirm and writhed under his touch was driving him up the walls. Even so, he had never go beyond the boundaries. As much as he wanted to take her in that manner, yet he had a better plan for the young girl.

He must make sure she’s ready to receive him.

He liked it raw and rough, so he cared of her ability to take him in fully one day.

And, that one day happened to be sooner than he thought.

He was satisfied with his work of art, Seul was not an easy girl but she handled the torture so well which made him even more eager to taste her.

Mr Kwon was not a normal paedophile but a sadist. He was sick in the head.

The sound of the door opening made her squirm in fear, she backed away, until her back hit the brick wall. She shuddered as she heard the faint footsteps approaching. Seul couldn’t feel her body anymore knowing what would happen to her in a minute.

The usual torture.

The usual pain.

She collected her knees to her chest, burying her face in her knees and started to bawl her eyes out. Screaming in her head, she wanted to push the old man away from her only with her powerful screaming. How she wished it worked that way?

The man kneeled in front of her, oddly he didn’t smell reek alcohol and tobacco. That was very unusual since she was used to his dirty scent. She could tell from few feet away with her eyes closed with a mere smell. This time around the person in front of her showed no sign of Mr Kwon’s signature smile and horrible breath.

“Hey..Are you alright?” at the sound of his voice, she lifted her head with an effort. Tilting her head confusedly, she stared at the individual in bafflement. He looked around his age with his cute bangs almost covering his eyes. For some reason, he gave away some kind of glowing aura that made her feel secured and safe.

The young boy spoke up once again garnering her attention “You are Seul right? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he reached out to touch her arms but watching her flinched and ducked away from his touch, he murmured a soft sorry.

“We have to get you out from here. Can you trust me?” she averted her gaze and shook her head like he expected.

He sighed softly “Look, Mr Kwon is my uncle. Yeah, I know I have a bastard uncle.  Hell, he is not even my real uncle but a week ago, I saw him brought you in. I thought he finally adopted a kid from the orphanage, but I was wrong. I..watched how he tortured you every day. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I planned to save you from this house. Trust me, I don’t like him either. If there is one person that you can trust in this house, then it is me. I will help you to escape” as soon as he began to talk of this, her lips trembled, and her tears began to fall.

“Seul.. please give me a chance. I can help you. I can help your mother and your brother. Your father won’t be able to bother you anymore”

Seul croaked “H-ow.. you find out about my family?” she shifted her gaze away from her afraid this was another way for the old man to fool her.

“Let’s just say. I.. pretty much spied on my uncle. I went through his office, I saw the contract that he made with your father. I knew about his money issues that he sold you in exchanged of freedom from his debt. I am sorry Seul that you have to suffer this way, but I am here to help. Trust me please. We don’t have much time..” he muttered desperately as he eyes darted at the door in case his evil uncled made an appearance there.

Seul bit her chapped lips, feeling remorseful at this sudden appearance of her knight and shining armour. She had nothing to lose anyway.

Reluctantly, she nodded weakly “Okay. Let’s go! He will be back in 10 minutes. I managed to distract him for a bit, so I can sneak in. Brace yourself this escape will be nasty” Seul blinked her eyes cluelessly watching him grabbing clothes from the closet.

He bended forwards and whispered “Can you stand?” she palmed the wall behind her for support as she pulled her strength to stand on her own feet. The latter flashed a quick smile and helped her to put the grey sweater on.

Reaching out to her hand, he interlaced their hand together. She flinched at the contact of their skin and looked up at him with a glint of hope. Their gaze locked, and he gave her an assuring smile “Let’s go Seul” Seul nodded obediently following his every step, exiting the dreadful room.

I will trust you. I will follow you. Seul chanted in her head encouraging herself to do this without regret.

 ------------------------------

Present Day

There was no text or call from Seul causing the boys to have cold feet. They had planned to watch movies together with Seul before they flew to Japan tomorrow. God knows when they will be able to meet her again once the tour starts.

Jimin had brilliantly suggested to have a movie marathon today and thankfully Seul didn’t have to serve her usual night shift.

8PM.

9PM.

12AM and there was no sign of Seul.

Tired of waiting, some of the boys ended up falling asleep on the couch whilst Jungkook stayed up waiting for her arrival.

He tried to reach her numerous times, yet it brought him straight to the voicemail. Yoongi sat up groggily and his eyes landed on Jungkook whom looking anxious at the corner “Any news from Seul?” his rough voice brought the maknae back to reality.

“Still can’t reach her” his lips emitted a heavy sigh.

Yoongi glanced at his phone “It is unusual for her to leave us hanging without a text. Don’t worry she will be fine gukkie, something must come up. Head to bed. It is late” he stretched a little, running his hand to his sore back.

Jungkook smiled meekly “Hyung, sleep in your room. I will clean this up and head to bed right after” he stood up from his seat with distressed face. Yoongi bid him a goodnight and went straight to his room though deep down inside he’s worried sick of Seul. The least that he could do was to be optimist about the whole thing. She is a strong lady, nothing would happen to her.

 Seul wandered aimlessly around the city dragging her soulless body to find peace. An escape from this awful reality is all she needed. Recollecting the memories back only to pain her even more and it reopened the wounds. She had somehow ended up in front of Bangtan’s apartment, with a single move she will be reunited with the seven sunshine.

It dawned on her, that she was in no place to burden them with her problems. They had enough things to deal in life. Her hand curled into a tight fist, as she turned her heels to leave the place right way.

This wasn’t right.

She shouldn’t come here.

She must go.

“Seul…I know you will come” she heard her name being called. Seul turned around to find the owner of the voice stood at the entrance handsomely in his oversized white tshirt. Just when she assumed her world was dark and loney, there were Jungkook presence radiating love and grace transported her to a higher place called, hope.

He closed their distant, looking at her confused “Seul.. Where were you? God, you are worrying us” Jungkook’s voice rang in her ears, weakened her knees. The young man noticed her puffy eyes, and his brows furrowed in concern.

Giving her no time to respond, he inquired “Have you been crying? What happened baby?” he reached his finger to caress her wet cheeks. Little did he know, his little action made her to cry her heart out again. This emotion is overpowering her. She couldn’t handle it.

His eyes rounded in sheer surprised, and like a reflex he wounded his arms around her tight, embracing the girl closely. “Baby, what is wrong” he whispered. Jungkook lower down to match his height with her, running his hand up and down on her back. He hummed softly to calm her down “I am here. It is alright” her body trembled due to the intensity.

Sera ran his finger to his chest, clutching onto his shirt listening to his beating heartbeat. They stayed like that for a while, embracing each other before Jungkook led her inside the apartment quietly. The couple reside in his room, while Jungkook went out to get a warm drink for Seul.

He came back few minutes a later with a cup of warm water which she gladly took and gulped it down in one shot. Jungkook chuckled lightly and place a gentle kiss on top of her head “Cute. Now mind telling me, what happened to you?” she looked down, feeling the sadness came creeping in again.

Jungkook took her small hands in his, as he stroked it affectionately “Look, I wont force you to tell me if you are not ready. But, I will always be here to listen to your worries. Tell me whenever you are ready. Don’t bear the pain alone, it is meant to be shared” he tucked the strand of hair behind her hears.

She looked sadly at him, and mumbled “Will you listen to me till the end? Will you promise me that you will never hate me?” the despair and sorrow in her eyes were evident making the latter to frown in his seat. Just what happened to her that she looked this soulless?

He pecked her lips, smiling genuinely “I promise I will listen to you till the end. It is impossible to hate you Seul, I am listening” he stroked her hair, admiring her feature. She took a deep breath before finally revealing the pain that she kept to herself for years. Seul spoke to no one about her dark past making Jungkook as the first outsider to know about it. Telling him this was not easy but seeing how Jungkook would listen attentively to her story, with unreadable expression, Seul mustered up her courage until she reached the end of it.

“I…am not the girl that you think I would be Jungkook”

There was a long pause and silence, a cold silence. Her stomach sank. Did Jungkook feel disgusted of her? Dread and fear saturated her sense.

“Scumbag..” he said it at last. “He’s a snobby old ratbag. How could he do that to a fifteen years old girl?! Fuck, if I get my hands on him. I will fucking kill him without mercy” all this time, she never heard Jungkook spouting some nasty remarks and it really scared her to see this side of him.

Seul embraced him out of fear, baffling the furious guy in process “I..dont want to be reminded with this memory. Now, that I met him again.. I am scared Jungkook.. I am scared” she buried her face in his shoulder, damping his shirt with her tears.

“I will protect you from him” he encircled one of his arm around her waist, holding her close to his body. “I vow to protect you, I won’t let him touch even a strand of your hair” his voice was soothing even the promises that he made convinced her that she had nothing to fear as long as Jungkook’s there for her.

“Thank you..” she rubbed her face in his shoulder, leaving a soft kiss on his shoulder blade. He sighed deeply, pulling away from the hug, resting his forehead against her “You have me. No matter what happen, I will never leave you in the dark, baby” he whispered romantically causing her face reddened.

Baby. She made a mental note that Jungkook had been calling her baby for the umpteenth time tonight.

He rubbed their nose together, smiling handsomely which melted her cold heart. Jungkook slowly smiled before leaning down to take her mouth in a soft kiss. It turned passionate as they let their emotions took over. He was ticked off that the old man ruined her life just to fulfil his rotten lust. His sense of responsibility towards Seul thickened. Security and love, that’s what he’s willing to provide for her.

They stopped moving and looked into each other’s eyes. He rubbed his nose up against hers, blowing wisps of hair from her eyes before he moved in again. Jungkook gave her waist a deep stroke and dropped his head forward, moving swiftly and capturing her bottom lips devouring her sweetness. This time the kisses were not slow, they were hard and hungry.

Their lips moved together, overlapping each other’s. He pushed her body lightly onto the soft mattress, as he hovered over her. Seul moaned into the kisses, pulling him closer to her desperate to feel his warmth all over her body again.

His hand roamed down to cup her bottoms, bringing her flush against him. They gasped softly, feeling their body burn up to the sensation. He inhaled her sweet scent and moved to kiss down her jaw as his hand sliding down to her throat, caressing the skin gently.

Jungkook trailed a string of kisses across her shoulder, and inched closer to her neck. Pressing a kiss to her neck, he brushed his lips down over her soft skin drinking in the sweet scent of her. She thought her heart exploded from this ministration.

Seul stroked his chest over the clothes, moving down to his obvious abs. His biceps flexed as she skimmed her hand beneath the shirt, rubbing his hard muscle in the most torturous way earning a low groan from the man. Warmth spread throughout her as he stripped her blouse away, pressing their heated body together.

He returned to love every inch of her skin.

Every tug of his mouth on her sensitive skin sent a sweet spike of pleasure in her.

Jungkook never thought being closed to a girl like this sent wild spiral of sensual magic through him. Watching how she wrecked with pleasure under him, made him wanted to love her all night.

He wanted to make her feel special.

He wanted her to himself.

He wanted her so desperately.

The darkness of the night was not the clean blackness but a thick darkness which swallowed the sound of their desperate grunts.

 This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2021. All Rights Reserved

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[dailyaudiobible]

01/13/2021 DAB Transcript

Genesis 28:1-29:35, Matthew 9:18-38, Psalms 11:1-7, Proverbs 3:11-12

Today is the 13th day of January welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is a delight to be here with you today as we move through the middle of the week and continue our journey forward. And, so, let's get into the Scriptures. We’re reading from the New Living translation and we’ve been reading from the book of Genesis, obviously and we have met Abraham then we’ve met his son of promise, Isaac, we have met Isaac's children, Jacob and Esau and we are transitioning into that generation, the grand children of Abraham. Genesis chapter 28 and 29 today.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the book of Genesis today we have encountered a very famous story, the stairway to Heaven story, where Jacob sees a stairway to heaven. And he is in a place called Bethel. And, so, many of us know the story of have heard the story, you know, from Sunday school, or whatever, but the context is that Jacob is on the run from Esau, having left his family, moving north to find Laban who’s his mother's brother's, his uncle. That's when he sees this stairway to heaven and it won’t be the last time that Jacob comes by this way, but it will be quite a long time. We spanned some 14 years in our reading today. So, Jacob gets to Laban and then the trickery begins. And we we’re mentioning that. There’s like this kind of trickery in this family going on and it spans many generations. So, Jacob's in love with Rachel, He makes a deal that he'll work for his uncle for seven years, in order to marry Rachel and the deal is done. Seven years goes by, right? The wedding happens and a wedding night happens, and Jacob wakes up to find the wrong girl. So, he's going to get both of the sisters as wives in the end but he’s gonna have to work another seven years for the woman that he loves. 14 years for two wives who are sisters. Like we’re in a different time right now. This is thousands of years ago but even thousands of years ago, you can only imagine the family dynamics there. And it's even more complicated because Jacob loves Rachel. This is the woman that he wanted to be with, but Rachel isn't having any children. It's Leah the firstborn sister who is having children. So, you can only imagine the animosity and the bitterness that is beginning to build, and we will see it unfold. But by the time we finished our reading in Genesis today Jacob had not only left his family and made it all the way to Laban, he had been there for 14 years and children were born to him - Ruben, Simeon, Levi, Judah. These names should sound somewhat familiar if we have any familiarity with the Bible at all. These children will grow up to become adults and have tribes of their own. We have met the beginning of four of the 12 tribes of Israel today.

In the book of Matthew today we’re…we’re seeing Jesus move around the countryside and in…and in and among the villages and the villagers and he does quite a bit of healing today, many miraculous things. And…and by the way, these stories that we’re reading in the book of Matthew, most of them we will also encounter, nuanced a little bit differently, but we will also see them in Mark and in Luke. So, we have plenty of time as we take our journey together through the Bible, but also as we move through the Gospels for several months just sitting at the feet of Jesus. We’ll have plenty of time to examine lots of things from lots of perspectives. But what we see is Jesus healing. So, that like there's a resurrection story today, there’s the one with the issue of blood, which is a very famous story today, and then we encounter two blind men who were just screaming to Jesus to “have mercy, would he have mercy” and…and he heals them. One thing of note about the miraculous, at least as it relates to Jesus is what he says to the blind men, “don't tell anyone about this.” And the Bible says, but instead, they went out and told everybody basically. But what we need to notice is Jesus posture. Like you would think a miracle worker, that could get something really going quick. News could spread very, very quickly and Jesus could get an enormous amount of power very very quickly, but He's not looking for that. What we see is Jesus isn't playing the world's game at all. It’s like He's marching to the beat of a different drummer. He’s…he’s living as a human being was intended to live. Yes, we know where the story goes, and we know that Jesus will…will hang from across and die and be resurrected and we…we often make that the long and short of the story with Jesus, like that…that He came to die, He did and that was that. But there's these three decades of His life, right? And there's these three years of his ministry, before all of that happened. And, so, looking into what Jesus message was about and looking into the way that He conducted Himself reveals something really profound. Let's think about it. It was just less than two weeks ago that we began this journey and we got to the book of Genesis chapter 3 and we…we saw the…the serpent in the tree and member that story and how the whole complexion of the story changed when mankind realized that it was naked and ashamed and so it's been hiding ever since. We talked about deception and then as we've continued through the book of Genesis and all of the readings that we've done so far we've…we've seen the results. Like we’ve seen the flood. We've seen all kinds of really difficult things, and we will continue to see them. We see the effects of mankind's trade. God, union with God and perfection was what we were intended to have. Instead, we change…traded it for knowledge, a knowledge of good and evil. And, so, what we see beginning to happen upon the earth in the Bible is mankind's knowledge doing what man's kinds knowledge can do. Here's an example from the book of Matthew. Jesus is doing these miracles and the religious people, they were known as Pharisees or Sadducees, but the Pharisees out and among the people, the leaders, the spiritual caretakers of the people say about Jesus, “He casts out demons, because He's empowered by the prince of demons.” Okay. They have lost the plot and they are in charge of the spiritual welfare of the people. They do not in any way recognize this is God made flesh right in front of them. They can only see that He has some surprising powers and they're trying to figure out what His game is. And, so, they're saying these things not understanding that they're saying them about the God they serve and the God that they are leading people to worship. Like that’s how twisted the trade was. Like we can have all the knowledge of good and evil that we want but if we don't have God we are just here trying to make it work and we make it work by subjugating each other. And that doesn't work. So, Jesus, He's here doing something totally different looking for something completely different. For Jesus, healing the miraculous, the restoration of things is just normal. He doesn't need it broadcasted all over the place. It's just normal. Wholeness is supposed to be normal. Healing and health is supposed to be normal. So, I encourage us to continue to listen closely, listen closely to the words of the Savior. Listen closely to the stories. Look into those stories and watch what Jesus is doing. Remember this. Before that tree incident with the serpent in Genesis 3 sin was not a category and Adam and Eve were upon this earth sinless and in perfect union with God. It was as it was supposed to be. Thousands of years, thousands of years passed and that had not happened again until Jesus came. Jesus shows us what a restored sinless, integrated, humanity looks like in union with God. He didn't only come to die. He also showed us how to live.

Prayer:

Jesus, we enter into that. We so often want You as an add-on. We want to live the life that we want to live but we want You in our back pocket as a get out…a get out of jail free card or some kind of insurance of something or another when You have invited us out of the world and in and to actual life. But it's…a transition is...is gonna be rocky. We’re gonna have to surrender so many things and learn how much we are clinging to and how little faith we might have. But we’re ready to learn. And we’re gonna have to learn that moving in this direction, the path of restoration, the path of sanctification, the path that leads, the path that leads to wholeness, that is going to by default set us apart. By default we are simply not going to be playing the same game anymore. And that can be a lonely path. And we see that borne out in Your ministry and in Your life. So, Come Holy Spirit, show us what it's gonna look like to become Christlike and what that's gonna mean. As we begin to just ponder surrender. We pray this in the name of Jesus our Savior. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it…it's the websites, it’s where you find out what's going on around here. I say that most every day.

I mentioned yesterday the Promised Land films and just the opportunity to kinda zoom in and see some of these places and I mean, like I can’t ignore it. We were in Bethel today, right? With the stairway to heaven, and Jacob seeing this and setting up a memorial stone. This is a place. This is an actual place. We have filmed this actual place. And the geography is so fascinating because indeed the geography looks like a stairway all around. All around the area, the tiered kind of staircase steps of the of the earth rising up. And, so, these are places that you can see. We've created this resource for that purpose. I mean all of the resources we create at the Daily Audio Bible are to take the journey of the Bible in a year deeper, more comprehensive. How much can we learn about ourselves and about the Bible and about the God of the Bible and about the God that's beyond it all, the most-high God who is our Father? This is the goal. So, kind of seeing some of these places and knowing, “yeah, this is a place on earth. This isn't a fairytale I’m reading. This is an actual archaeological place.” And seeing what it looks like is really helpful, at least it has been for me. So, reminding you the Promised Land films are available in the Daily Audio Bible Shop. We will send you the DVD edition. You will instantly have access to the downloads, to the high-definition downloads of the films. And, yeah, dive deeper. Check that out. It's in the Daily Audio Bible Shop in the music and films section.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage, and I thank you humbly and profoundly as we get launched into this new year for your partnership. We wouldn't be here. And this is year 16. So, we’ve been a community for a long time but we wouldn't exist if we were not in this together. And that has always been true. And, so, the beautiful thing is that we have been in this together. So, if Daily Audio Bible is bringing life to you, if it's bringing like some kind of awakening, the Bible is actually doing what the Bible does, then thank you for your partnership. There’s a link on the homepage. If you are using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if you prefer, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app, the little red button at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello, my names Alexis I’m 15 I just started listening to Daily Audio Bible in about the middle of last year and I am really appreciative for this platform and for Brian and it’s really helped me grow closer to God. And lately I’ve just been feeling like a failure to be honest. Like, I’m fearing man more than I’m fearing God and it’s really been hindering me from like…there’s so many things that I know God wants me to do but I just care more about what the world thinks of me than what God thinks of me and it’s just not good. So, I’d really appreciate your prayers for spiritual maturity and boldness of the Spirit. Yeah, that’s what I really need. And I’m sure my mom is listening to this. So, hi mom. Love you. Okay, thank you. Bye.

Good afternoon everybody this is God’s Smile here. Well, it’s chucking it down with rain again. Well, I like a fine mist. But I woke up this morning when I coddled to the bathroom really early hours and there was this beautiful…I…I often look out of the front bedroom window when I’m up for a few minutes and try and stretch my legs a little…and so I was looking at this beautiful layer of frost because we don’t really get snow especially where we are in England because we’re by…by the sea…by Southport sea and not far from the salt there. You know it doesn’t really last unless we get a lot of snow which is nothing compared to the Canadians. So, what was I saying? Oh, losing me train of thought. So, it was really nice. And I thought, I’ll take a photograph of that later on. And, so, later on I get up and it’s all gone. Our weather is so unpredictable. But I just wanted to call in and say thank you Facebook DAB Friends for Peter’s request for prayer. Thank you, thank you, thank you for holding me. I’m up today, the first time in weeks. Isn’t that wonderful? I’ve been up with Tom a little bit, but I haven’t been up and been able to color. Now that Tom’s back home the Lord’s said, “go on, get up there or get down there.” And, so, I’ve had two hours where I’ve been doing my two most favorite things which is the color and listen to DAB. So, isn’t that wonderful? Isn’t God just wonderful? Times ticking away again. So, I send you my love. I send you so much love. Kiss kiss. Love God’s Smile.

Hello everyone I am Rachel from Oregon and I’ve been with you guys for a few months now and I have been listening even more consistently for this last month and I’ve only called in one other time to pray for a couple people but I just want to say that I really really appreciate this community. And I usually don’t get into podcasts or anything audio or videos whenever people refer me to all of them, but I discovered this one on my own and I’m so glad I did because it really encourages me and ministers to me a lot and I just appreciate it. Brian thank you so much for ministering to us so faithfully every day so many years of your life now. And all you guys out there, thank you so much for being so vulnerable and honest and open and genuine. I can hear people’s heart cries for the Lord and just really encourages me as another broken human that there’s this wonderful community of people out there who love Jesus who really really need Jesus and aren’t afraid to admit it because I really really need Jesus. I am so broken, but I really appreciate all you guys and just know that I’ve been praying for so many of you even though I don’t call in, even though you guys feel so…so low/ And all the things that some of you are going through. I’m praying right there with you. I am your sister in prayer and Christ is interceding for you and I look forward to meeting all of you in the kingdom of heaven someday. I feel like you guys are actually my family. And it’s amazing. I love you. Thank you for everything.

Good morning this is Steve from South Carolina. I just started listening to the Daily Audio Bible just a couple of days ago, beginning of the year and I feel like I found a brand-new community and I thank you for that. I thank you for welcoming me. Two things I’d like to share I’d like you to pray about with me if you would. One is, today is my last day of official work after many, many, many years in Christian ministry. I’d appreciate your prayers for God’s reassignment and new adventures ahead. And secondly, my daughter has aggressive breast cancer. And as you might imagine I’m very concerned for her and her well-being. So, pray for a miracle of healing if you would please. And thank you so very much for doing what you’re doing. Thanks for being a praying community and a caring community. And thanks for believing God for great things in 2021.

Hello DAB family this is Greg and on behalf of my wife Begita from southwest Sweden. There’s snow on the ground here and that speaks of God’s promises. We thank you Brian for the promise of this year and thank you for the past year of your and China’s readings. China congratulations on the imminent arrival of your first baby a few months to go and we are really glad about that. And to hear Jill’s voice. I listen to DAB chronological today. Sorry I’m still working on being a double DABber. And she’s such a bright spot. The…the…the warmth and the light of the DAB campfire definitely flows through her voice as it does yours Brian and did through China. So, yeah, my prayer request was regarding how to reach people in a small community here where we live where people are largely indoors. You know, it’s northern country Sweden, so it gets dark early and so on. And even as I was making the prayer request wondering what to say DAB here a knock came at the door and it was a local businessman who wanted some carton boxes that we had. And I’m just thanking God for the He answers prayer even before it’s out of our months. You know, so we had a good chat with him, and I was able to ask him what His faith in Jesus is. But I’m just praying for different ways of outreach, whether it’s making tracks or community events anything such that we can do. But that’s partly why…why we’re here. And I just want to thank you once again for this community and what God has done through you in my life and my wife. All right, God bless and will catch up later in the year. But I will be listening. I now.

Hi this is Emerald Stone. I’m gonna call myself Emerald Stone because I’m from the Emerald Island of Ireland. I think this is my fifth year since I began to listen to the Daily Audio Bible. It’s so lovely to hear so many accents from around the world. I’ve heard Australian and English accents and lots of American accents. I don’t know if I’ve heard many Irish accents but I think I heard Brian before saying he was in Ireland. I just wanted to introduce myself and say happy new year to everybody. And I’m on day five. I’m two days behind but it’s just great to hear everyone and to start something fresh and new. And God bless the Hardin family. God bless our world at this time. Praying for our nation of Ireland going through level V lockdown again and the numbers are increasing. So, just very aware of that in these days and to be praying for the world at this time and in particular America as well. And thank you for your prayers in the past. And I just want to wish everyone a happy new year and I’ll call in again. It’s great to download the new app and see this new feature on it as well, which I’ve never tried before in order to give the prayer requests in. So, that’s really handy. So, God bless, and I’ll be praying for those people who have rang in with the prayers. Bye.

[hempedward36]

Facilities Administration Ireland, Facilities Management Company Dublin, Ireland.

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[cabbage-juice]

The Legend of Korra... good or bad?

This has been an argued topic for a long time in the avatar fandom. So much so that it’s basically split us into two separate fandoms: the Legend of Korra fandom and the Avatar the Last Airbender fandom.

And for the most part, that makes sense. The two shows are almost completely separate from each other in story and in characters; people are going to like one and not the other.

What I want to know is why—aside from different taste—people didn’t like Korra as much as Avatar the Last Airbender.

The first thing people look to is their personalities. While Aang is spiritual and a pacifist, Korra tends to take things head on and bites off more than she can chew. This is a pretty big difference and may be the biggest reason people prefer the former avatar rather than the latter.

The next item is timing. Avatar the Last Airbender ended July 19, 2008, giving the Legend of Korra about four years in between shows when it came out in 2012. At this time the target audience (ages ten to eleven) was a little older, and had different taste in content.

After timing comes plot. Lok was intended only to have one season, and therefore when they were announced to have another season, bryke had to come up with another story, and then another two after that. This explains why there was never one individual plot like in Atla, but viewers often look past that.

Now to the love triangle. Even I have to admit that the triangle was hard to watch, and that the show could have done without it, but we have to remember that the characters are teenagers, still sorting out their feelings towards the world and others. It’s an overdone plot line, but the writers were smart to put it in, as it shows the reality in these characters.

Korra starts out as a headstrong teenager whose main goal in life is to be the best and most fearsome avatar there is. She’s determined, but lets her feelings/insecurities affect her judgement at times, such as when she challenged Amon to a duel instead of admitting her fear of him. The audience seemed to dislike this part of her character, but once again the writers were just sticking the landing with her realistic and relatable self.

Korra also accomplishes many things, such as saving republic city multiple times, keeping the world from chaos, and restoring balance to the earth kingdom. Not only that, but she was willing to lay down her life so that the new air nation would be safe. While people acknowledge this, they mainly look to her faults, such as losing her connection to her past lives and “allowing herself” to be poisoned and out of commission for three years. The audience likes to point out that Aang would never have failed the way Korra did, but then again, they ignore that Korra is an entirely different person and avatar.

The villains in Lok are completely different from Ozai of Atla. While Ozai is seen as someone evil and obsessed with world domination, the villains in Lok are all relatable in their ultimate goals. Amon wanted equality, Unalaq wanted people to be more spiritual, Zaheer wanted people to be free, and Kuvira wanted order. While some people don’t like that we didn’t have one main villain throughout the series like in atla, these characters are all exciting and compelling villains for the storyline.

The character development is also astonishing. While it is not anything like Zuko’s character arc in atla, it is amazing in its own way. Korra starts off wishing harm to anyone who poses any threat, such as the gang members in the series premiere, and continues doing so for the next two seasons. In the final season, though, she refuses to fight Kuvira without talking to her first to try and sort things out peacefully. She only attacks when she sees no other choice. “I needed to understand what true suffering was so I could become more compassionate to others, even to people like Kuvira.”

Now to the representation. Atla presents strong and likable characters with disabilities, such as Toph and Teo, but people mainly focus on that and not the disabled people in Lok, physical and mental. Take Ming Hua for example. Born with no arms, Ming Hua actually finds a way to use that to her advantage with her water bending. Korra also became paralyzed for three years, and experienced several mental disorders, including depression, ptsd, and panic attacks. “I’m tired, Katara,” she said at one point, “I’m so tired.”

Not only that, but at the end of season one, it seems that Korra was contemplating suicide. To my knowledge, this has not been confirmed, but I believe it to be true. Aang says himself, “when we hit our lowest point”. The lowest point of someone’s life is usually seen as when they find no value in it, but that’s an item up for discussion.

Finally, we come to the last scene of Korra, where we are shown that Asami and Korra have gotten together and are both bisexual. This is a great moment, for both the characters, the people watching, and Nickelodeon, finally releasing lgbt+ characters. This we do not see from Avatar the Last Airbender, and is a testament to how different the shows are.

There is a lot more to discuss on this topic, but only so much that I can fit in one post. I’d like to clarify that I have nothing against the first series; in fact, I love it more than any show I’ve ever seen. I made this post because I’m tired of hearing how bad Korra was, and of people only focusing on the bad stuff.

Thanks for reading!!!

#avatar the last airbender #atla #avatar #korra #avatar korra #legend of korra #avatar aang #zuko #katara #asami avatar #korrasami #zaheer #amon korra #unalaq #raava #vaatu #kuvira

[thelazyhermits]

Apprehensive

This takes place the morning after chapter 4 of @euan112358‘s fic, A Bright Celebration. I finally came up with an idea for a certain student I know y’all have been wanting to see more of ;)

I hope y’all enjoy it! ^-^

Considering what an exciting day you had yesterday, you had thought you’d end up sleeping in today, but that was not the case. Just goes to show that your internal alarm clock is still as strong as ever.

That’s why you’re currently in the kitchen working on breakfast for the students. Wanting to show your appreciation for them making your first birthday so amazing and unforgettable, you go all out with the breakfast preparations.

Normally, you have helpers when you make breakfast, usually the students who are always early to rise. However, you figure after all the excitement of yesterday that even those students will have a hard time waking up early today.

However, you’re soon proven wrong when a familiar voice announces his presence. “Good morning, Y/N-sensei! I see you are hard at work as always! Please allow me to lend you my assistance!”

The corners of your lips curve upwards as you turn to see Iida standing in the kitchen doorway. “Good morning, Iida. I see your internal alarm clock wasn’t affected by yesterday’s festivities either.”

He quickly moves to put on his apron. “While I did go to bed later than usual last night, I would never allow myself to oversleep on a school day. A hero must always be punctual!”

As he says that last sentence, your student does a strong chopping motion with his hand to add emphasis. Your smile grows at his actions. “Of course. I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Iida.”

And, with that, the two of you get to work preparing breakfast. Silence soon permeates the air since the two of you are so focused on cooking, but it’s a comfortable silence. So, you don’t feel the need to break it.

Much to your surprise, Iida, who usually keeps quiet when he’s cooking, decides to start up a conversation with you about fifteen minutes after his arrival. For some reason, his expression appears nervous. “Sensei, about the letter you received from my brother yesterday…”

Realizing he’s referring to the invitation to the Iida family ball, you tilt your head curiously. “Yes?”

He adjusts his glasses. “I wanted to apologize again for my brother accidentally revealing your identity to our mother. Rest assured, I made sure to properly lecture him for his carelessness.”

Your expression turns amused. “It’s really not a big deal, Iida. After all, I am the TA for your class, so it makes sense that the parents of the students would eventually find out about me.”

Iida shakes his head. “No, she already knew about your identity beforehand since I always gave detailed reports of my days at school to my parents back before I moved into the dorm. Naturally, I didn’t fail to mention that my class had a very impressive TA.”

Beaming, you immediately move to give the boy a quick hug. “Aww, Iida, you sweet talker!”

When you pull away from him, you notice the bright blush coloring his cheeks. He quickly turns away and awkwardly coughs into his fist.

Rather than tease him, you return to your cooking and give him a chance to compose himself. Once he does, the bespectacled boy continues where he left off before you hugged him. “While our mother knew about you, she was unaware of the role you played in saving my brother as well as myself. We decided to keep that a secret since, after finding out about the villains targeting you, we thought that the less that was known about you the better.”

The taller boy turns to meet your gaze. “If our parents had found out, they would’ve done everything to ensure you received the credit you deserved for saving us and would’ve spared no expense in rewarding you. However, receiving such attention from my family, which is very well known in the hero world, would’ve earned you a lot of attention from others as well which my brother and I were sure you would’ve liked to avoid.”

No wonder Iida had been so rattled when he discovered that his mother had found out about you. He had been worried that it would bring you a lot of unwanted attention. What a thoughtful boy.

Smiling, you reach over to pat his shoulder. “I appreciate you being so concerned on my behalf, Iida. While I can’t deny that receiving a lot of attention like that would definitely make me nervous, I think things would be fine if we just properly explained my situation to your parents. Surely, they’d understand.”

He quickly nods his head. “Oh, of course! My parents are both very understanding people. If you were to ask them not to publicly thank you for your grand deeds, they would respect your wishes. However…”

Noticing his hesitant expression, you give him a curious look. “However?”

After a long pause, Iida releases a deep sigh. “Do you recall my words yesterday about our mother being greatly interested in our social lives?”

When you nod your head, he pinches the bridge of his nose. “In addition to finding out about your role in saving my brother and I, my mother also discovered that you are frequently in contact with my brother. That’s how she first took an interest in you since my brother, while being an amazing hero, does not have much of a social life as far as romance is concerned since he is currently more interested in focusing on his hero work which I do not fault him for. Dedication to one’s work is an admirable quality to have.”

Another sigh escapes him. “Unfortunately, our mother doesn’t share that mindset. While she is obviously very proud of my brother for his dedication to his work, she wishes that he would take more interest in his social life. Every year she always tries to convince him to find himself a date to the Iida family ball but has never been successful.”

Once you hear that, you begin connecting the dots. “So, after finding out that he’s been in contact with me for awhile and then learning about my role in helping to save you and him, she wanted him to take me as his date to the ball. That way she could meet me for herself and ensure he actually came with a date this year. Basically, killing two birds with one stone.”

Iida hangs his head. “Yes. Words cannot describe how much regret I feel for allowing you to be put in such a position. I am truly sorry for all of this.”

Before you can reassure the younger boy, he suddenly raises his head, revealing his now determined expression. “That is why I wanted to speak with you about this. I wanted you to know that you should not feel obligated to accept the invitation. While I know you’ve already said you do not mind attending, I wanted to make sure that you truly were alright with it after hearing the whole situation. If you are having any second thoughts, please do not hesitate to tell me. I promise I will do everything in my power to ensure that you do not have to go against your will.”

A warm smile forms on your lips. “I appreciate you being so considerate of my feelings, Iida, but I really don’t mind going. I’ve never been to a ball before, so it sounds like it’d be a fun experience. Besides, I can’t blame your parents for wanting to meet me after finding out the whole situation with the Stain incident. If I were in their shoes, I’m sure I’d feel the same way.”

Appearing overcome with emotion, Iida clenches his eyes shut as he clenches one of his hands into a tight fist. “Your kindness and understanding truly know no bounds! As expected of the teacher I so greatly respect!”

Your smile grows as you move to ruffle his hair. “While I think you’re exaggerating a little there, I do appreciate the compliment.”

Returning your attention to the food you’re preparing, you ask, “So, according to Yaoyorozu, the Iida family ball is a huge deal. Does it typically involve just the members of your family, or will there be other guests like me?”

Iida makes a chopping motion with one of his hands. “While it is intended to be a family gathering, it is not unusual for my relatives to bring guests. Usually, the guest list consists of pro heroes and support item developers that either work with or are well acquainted with my relatives.”

In other words, you’ll definitely be the odd one out since you don’t fall into either of those categories. Hopefully, that won’t result in you earning a lot of unwanted attention.

At that thought, another question pops into your mind after you remember your student’s earlier words. “You mentioned how your parents would want to thank me for helping you and your brother. Do you think they’re planning on doing it publicly at the ball?”

The bespectacled boy winces, “It is....a possibility. However, I will do everything in my power to convince them not to since neither my brother nor I want you to be put in an uncomfortable position. I plan on visiting home in the near future and having a proper talk with my parents with the goal of convincing them to simply thank you in private.”

You pat his back. “I’m sure everything will work out, and I know I’ll enjoy meeting your parents since they’re obviously amazing people 'cause they’re the ones responsible for raising a wonderful kid like you.”

His expression brightens as he vigorously nods his head. “They are! My parents are both incredible people whom I greatly admire, and I couldn’t be more proud to be called their son!”

Your expression softens as Iida continues to tell you more about his parents and their many impressive accomplishments. Just from looking at him you can tell that he loves his family a great deal. 

While you can’t deny feeling a little nervous about attending such a prestigious event, you’re also excited about this new experience. Plus, you’re looking forward to meeting Iida’s parents and seeing what they’re like firsthand.

Just as you think that, Iida’s nervous voice draws you out of your thoughts. “I forgot to mention one thing. While my mother is a wonderful person through and through, there is one worrisome habit that she has that I feel I must warn you about.”

Curious, you tilt your head. “What kind of habit?”

Appearing resigned, the taller boy sighs, “She’s a very enthusiastic matchmaker. She’s always going out of her way to help anyone who is single in our family find their perfect match. Naturally, that also extends to my brother and myself.”

For several seconds, you just stare at him uncomprehending, and then, understanding dawns your features after you realize what he’s insinuating. “Oh boy.”

Maybe you should be a little more worried about the Iida family ball after all.

#TABF #TABF post scene #iida tenya #my writing #I've been meaning to write something with iida #but I couldn't decide what #then I thought that he'd definitely wanna talk in private with her #after her birthday about the family ball #iida is very concerned about this situation #and honestly so is tensei #he's just better at hiding it #cause one of them has to be the calm one #their mom is gonna have so much fun at their expense #those poor boys lol

[queenmuzz]

Deep Blue Sea: Chapter V

Prisoner’s Dilemma

Full story is on Ao3 here.

“...and we're expected to reach 4 percent growth this quarter,” the chief officer of finance droned on, “with a goal of ten percent growth at the end of the year. The Asian markets are causing immense growth, and our acquisition of Mallet Fisheries has opened us to the European markets, particularly among with herring and cod”

Your head nodded, and you were failing the to fight the urge to doze off, when you felt your knee being squeezed. You jerked, and looked to your right, to a apologetically smiling Fredrick. Hastily, you checked around at the other men and women at the mahogany table, to see if anyone else had noticed. Thankfully, they seemed all engrossed at the woman at the podium.

“Unfortunately, we may not reach our projected growth this year, due to unforeseen circumstances regarding mechanical issues with our ships, and especially the sinking of the Phantom.” You felt heat creep up your neck and face, you knew exactly what they were talking about. (The Phantom was one of the larger ships the company owned, to think Vergil could have single-handedly taken it down...wow, you were impressed).

“But nevertheless,” she continued, “We've been personally assured that the cause of these malfunctions have been taken care of, and we should not face anymore issues.” You grimaced, and then quickly checked if anyone else had seen your reaction, but even Fredrick hadn't seen anything, thank God.

“And with that,” she said, “I leave the last words to our wonderful owner.” A round of polite clapping followed as your father walked up up to podium, a big grin on his face. He adjusted his reading glasses, as he checked his notes. “As you know, my Father started this business as a small humble fleet of boats, set on the east coast, and was very happy at how it grew and prospered. When he passed it down to me, he told me, 'Son, this is your family legacy. Take care of it as if it was your own child. Nurture it, support it, watch it grow and succeed. And one day, you will see it grow up more than you could have ever hoped.'” He smiled and looked up. “When my father handed me the company, it was large, a dominant fishing fleet that covered the east coast. And several decades later, we've managed to make our family business fully live up to it's name. Mundus is the Latin word for 'The World', and I am proud to see the the company I've worked hard to build has truly lived to it's name. Mundus Ltd has truly become a worldwide company.”

He looked straight at you “Which is why I'm happy to announce that as of today, I'll be letting my daughter, and future son-in-law slowly take over the business.” Surprised murmurings came from the suits, which your father quickly quieted down. “Now don't worry, this transitional period will be at least five years, and possibly a whole decade, to make it as smooth as possible, and I'll be in charge up until the very end. No one's job is at risk. All I ask is that you would treat them as hospitably as you can, help them learn the ropes of this business, and by the time my daughter is ready to take the reins, you'll barely notice the difference. Does anyone have any questions, for me or for our future leaders?”

Thankfully, the boardroom was full of people who were thinking exactly like you, and wanting to get out, asap, so no hands were raised. “Well, that about wraps this meeting up, thank you all for attending, we'll meet up in a few weeks time.” Your father said, as the board members attempted to not look to eager to leave the room. You attempted to do the same, but unfortunately, your dad intercepted you, “I know it's a lot of pressure, to live up to this responsibility, but I'm sure with just a few years of training, you'll be ready to take over your legacy. After all, it's in the blood, right?” He laughed as he placed his hand on your shoulder, “Let's go out for a business lunch, I can show you the basics”

You wanted to decline, but Fredrick saved the day. “Sorry sir, but we've already planned our lunch together,” which you father seemingly was fine with.

“Have fun, you lovebirds!” he called out as you left the building, causing you to blush immensely.

*****

You sat in the booth, poking at your salad. You'd at first been happy that Fredrick had 'rescued' you from the attentions of your father, but now you were regretting it, since your fiance was a bit nervous, a bit distant. He kept glancing at his phone, like he was expecting a call, and it was getting a bit annoying.

“So, you expecting someone?” you attempted to ask nonchalantly, after his sixth checkup.

He sighed apologetically, “I'm sorry, my dad is expecting me home soon, he has business dealings with a Japanese engineering firm he wants me to be a part of, but we're not sure when they will show up, their flight might be a bit early. He paused, took a drink of his water, and stiffened, “which is what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What does this have to do with me?” you asked, somewhat nervously.

He sighed, as if he really didn't want this conversation. “It looks like my father wants me to head with the engineering team back to Japan to oversee the construction and operation of the new fish processing plant.”

You were relieved. It wasn't something bad at all, he was just nervous about the 'promotion' “Oh that's great! It's wonderful that you're father trusts you with such an important task. I'm sure you'll do great at it.”

He grimaced, “Yeah... that's the problem. I'll be out of the country for nearly ten and half months...”

You mentally calculated... you'd been engaged for a month, and in that time you'd seen Fredrick a grand total of... four days. That would leave...

“You'll only have a half a month to get ready before the wedding?!”

“Yeah, I know, I brought this up with my dad, but he said that this couldn't wait.... this was the perfect opportunity to get my feet wet in the business, and that I'd be a fool to miss this,” he said sheepishly.

“But the planning... I thought we were going to do this together!”

“We can, I won't be in the middle of nowhere, I'll have 24/7 internet access.”

“That won't help me with contacting vendors, caterers, and convention areas... it won't help me choose flowers or who to invite and who's persona non grata to the ceremony,” you protested.

Your fiance gritted his teeth as his head “Look, my father said that was usually the reserve of the ladies, and you're getting a top notch wedding planner, so how hard could it be? By the time I come back, the only thing we'll need is the tuxedo fitting, and we'll be good to go.”

“How hard could it be!?” you wanted to scream, but you couldn't start a scene in public. Besides, he had a point, how many months had he gone without seeing you while you were busy on you studies? He deserved this chance to make something of himself, even if it put more of a burden on you. It wouldn't be fair to him to deny him this, not when you were comfortable at home, no expectations... just arrange a wedding, and learn how your father's business ran. Still, you had hoped that both of you would be able to do this as a team....

“Alright, I guess. I mean, I won't deny that I'm disappointed...but do you really want this?”

He placed his hand on yours, and smiled apologetically. “Yes, although I wish it was at any other time of my life. It's a shame how life likes to throw curve balls at us. Now,” he said as he waved a passing waiter for the check, “Let me drive you home, and I'll get you my future contact info.”

*****

Fredrick pulled into your driveway, and hurriedly got out to open the door for you. He was always so gentlemanly about it, and even when it occasionally annoyed you, you couldn't bear to tell him to stop.

“We've arrived, milady” he joked as he escorted you to your front door. As you went through your keys to get the correct one, you paused. Your fiance had not been to your place since the aquarium was set up, and hadn't been told about Vergil. In fact, aside from your father and 'Doctor' Griffon, you were pretty sure no one knew about the merman.

What was strange was that you weren't worried about what Fredrick would think of Vergil, it was more of what Vergil would Fredrick. Would he see him as an intruder? What nonsense! In the past month, with your daily conversations, you'd told him many things about yourself, your family (although you had wisley steered away from talking about your father) friends, and... your fiance. What had Vergil called him? Ah, yes, 'Future Bondmate'. Merfolk seemed to have the romantic terms for everything. Surely he would be understanding enough that he would see Fredrick was no threat.

“Having trouble, honey?” Fredrick's voice intruded into your thoughts.

“I'm sorry, between all the keys from the estate, it's always hard to find the right one.” You fingered each key on the ring. One for your father's place, one for the warehouse on the estate, one to you mother's... and of course, one to Fredrick's place. Not to mention the ones to the private dock where you and your father kept your boats.

“Ah, here it is” you pulled it out in victory, and you inserted the key, and turned. “Now I must warn you, my place is a bit different since you last came over...” but by then it was too late, your fiance had inadvertently pushed you aside to get a better look at the aquarium. Could you really blame him? He didn't quite share the same fascination of the oceans as you, but only a curmudgeon would fail to appreciate the beauty of such an extravagant aquarium. He marveled at the coral, the rocks, the fish...

But not Vergil.

The merman was nowhere to be seen. You panicked for a brief moment, worried that Vergil had attempted an escape, and was currently stuck or hurt. But then you saw just a flicker of movement, from behind one of the farther rocks, nearly imperceptible to anyone who didn't know there was something there in the first place. Vergil, cautious as ever (and could you blame him?) had obviously heard a stranger, and decided retreat was the wisest course of action. “Amazing, your father really has outdone himself this time.” He observed a school of angelfish swim past. “It will be a bit of a hassle to move it to my place after the wedding...”

“Wait” you interrupted, jokingly “Who's to say I'm moving in with you?”

“I need to be close to my business, and close to the airport should I need to make an emergency trip to one of the factories.” he said, straight faced.

You realized he wasn't joking, and you protested “But this is my place, my home... we haven't even discussed our living arrangements yet.”

He seemed to have grasped quickly what you were talking about. “Sorry, I really shouldn't have assumed....Look, we don't have to move in all the way, you can keep this place as your home, live at my place part time, it's not really going to be that far, just a half hour drive if the traffic is good. We can even-” he was interrupted by a incessant buzzing, and he grabbed his phone, looking at message. “Aw damn, looks like their flight has arrived.” He began walking to the door, with you following. “Look, I'll try to call you every night, you work out all the arrangements, and I'll say yes to everything and anything you want. I want this to be the day you always dreamed about.” He gave you a quick kiss on the lips, before opening the front door, and running to his car. He pulled out at an alarming rate of speed, waving to you the entire time. You reciprocated, smiling and waving all the while until he was out of sight. Only then did your arm slowly fall down, and your smile fade.

Slowly closing the door, you trudged inside, before flopping down on the couch. It was only early afternoon, and yet you were exhausted. You were could only deal with so much personal interaction for so long without starting to break down. And now you were expected to take care of every single detail of this wedding. And it was going to be big wedding, you knew that. It would have been nice if the workload had been sha-

“So that is your bondmate to be?”  Vergil's inner voice gently prodded you from your anxiety inducing thoughts. You looked back at the aquarium glass, where he floated silently. Only now did you notice that his once pale tale was now speckled with blue scales, and his fins now had more of a blueish tint to them, unrelated to the lights of the aquarium.

“Yeah, that's Fredrick,” you waited for his judgement, no doubt negative, as Vergil had a very low opinion of humans in general.

“He seems like a good man” he responded, and you smiled. Perhaps he wasn't the curmudgeon you thought he was.

“But you do not love him.”

You did a double take, “Wait, what do you mean?”

He kept his eyes on you, but not in a judgmental way, “The way you talk to him, the physical gestures, the way you smile...” you thought about how he was watching you smile, and you felt bubbly inside, before shoving it back down.  “You do not hate him, nor dislike him, but as a bondmate....” he hesitated before continuing on “he is not what you wish for the rest of your life. Which perplexes me, why do you go through with this?”

You thought about the first part. Vergil was correct, while you and Fredrick were good friends, almost best friends, you couldn't really take it to the next level. But the wedding... once you were married, things would work out.

“It's more complicated than that, Vergil. Humans don't always marry for love, it's actually a relatively new concept, especially among upper classes. We usually married to bind families together, whether property, land, or power. Hopefully, love was added benefit.”

“Strange” the merman mused, “Perhaps it is due to humans and their need for possessions has superseded other concerns. We merfolk do not have such concerns, and as such, we value our connections, with out family, friends, our... bondmates. To create such a connection” he said seriously, and you realized this was the first you'd heard about mer culture, “is a life long commitment, one that has power that is.... inexplicable” You hesitated, worried at that you would bring up bad memories, “Vergil...do you...have a bondmate?”

He was taken aback, and he backed up for a tense moment, “No.... I was a bit of an oddity, I preferred to go my way for the past few years. Perhaps in a few years... if ...” his eyes seemed to dim, and he looked like he was staring at nothing.

“Vergil,” you said softly, and the alertness returned, but not to the same exact level as before, “The offer is still on the table, if you want to leave, I'll get you to the ocean.” You had expected him to either happily take the offer, or return to his angry state and denial. You didn't expect a small, sad smile.

“The offer is appreciated whether you place it on a table or in the aquarium, but I must decline...for now.”

“Well, if you ever change your mind, at any time, I'll do it. I don't want you to be a prisoner here.”

“We seem to have that in common...” he chuckled without mirth, causing you to cock your head in confusion. “You do not wish to see me a prisoner of this cage and I...” he paused, “I do not wish to see you a prisoner of expectations....”

And with that, he (rapidly) swam away, leaving you flummoxed, confused, and suddenly rather disconcerted.

#Devil May Cry #Deep Blue Sea #Vergil #Vergil x Reader #Mergil #Vergill

[zukalations]

Former Takarazuka Top Star Sagiri Seina reveals her struggles 2 years post-retirement

This interview with Sagiri Seina, former Top Star of Snow Troupe, was published by Oricon on October 5th. The original article was written by Uehara Kahori, and there are many pictures on the original website, so please click through!

Former Takarazuka Top Star Sagiri Seina reveals her struggles 2 years post-retirement

Sagiri Seina was formerly the otokoyaku Top Star of the Takarazuka Revue’s Snow Troupe, and currently has a career as an actress and TV personality. While in the Revue, she was an otokoyaku beloved of many Takarazuka fans, setting historic records such as ‘5 successive [Grand Theatre] shows selling over 100% capacity’. Now, 2 years after retiring from Takarazuka, she is beginning to increase the breadth of her professional activities, including announcing that she has signed with a talent agency and the publication of her first book. We asked her about aspects of her time in Takarazuka that she can only talk about now, the difference between ideals and reality as regarding the otokoyaku she longed to be, how she spent the first two years after her retirement, and her plans for the future.

2 years post-retirement spent being active and recharging

Oricon: In August of this year, you announced that you had signed to a talent agency. Can you explain your motivations for the timing of this ‘new start’, 2 years after your retirement?

Sagiri: Ever since I was 14, I had been pouring all my passion into my dream of “I want to be an otokoyaku” come true, so I had to deal with the idea of “do I really have passion left to put into anything else?” for a while after retiring. After 2 years, I discovered a new ‘future self’, and I realized that I could go at my own pace without stressing about just ‘passion’, so I started to think that it was fine to just be flexible with what I was doing. A big part of it is that I realized I want to do more different things, and that I should do more things, I think.

Oricon: We heard that in the 2 years after you retired, you tried a lot of different challenging things you weren’t able to do before.

Sagiri: I tried kickboxing and bouldering. I think I want to try learning karate next. I had to avoid skiing while I was in Takarazuka. Therefore, I’d like to try going skiing again sometime. Basically I’ve been enjoying lots of physical activity. Also, while I was a member of Takarazuka, I didn’t have the spiritual composure, or the time, to go and see non-Takarazuka stage productions. After retiring, it made me happy just to sit and watch a movie while eating popcorn, and I also went to watch a lot of musicals and prose plays. Also, I was able to go hang out at Disneyland after holding myself back while I was in Takarazuka!

Oricon: You hadn’t been able to go until then?

Sagiri: While I was a junior actress, I would go as many times as I felt like, but once I was put in a position where I had responsibilities, I started to think that it would be better to take the energy I’d spend on a Disneyland excursion and use it in performance instead (laughs). Now I’m able to put that energy towards other things. I’m relaxing and enjoying myself to the utmost. That’s how I’m spending my time. The 2 years after my retirement were like a recharging period for me.

Oricon: So it took you 2 years to recharge fully, is that it?

Sagiri: Now that I think about it, I did need all of that time. The first year, I whole-heartedly enjoyed just feeling the four seasons change. “Wow, the Japanese summer is so hot!” and “The cherry blossoms are incredibly beautiful,” and “It’s so great to see everyone out enjoying their flower viewing,” I’d think about all of that. It took about a year to regain my identity as a Japanese person and as a human being.

Oricon: How did you spend the second year?

Sagiri: During that time I was trying to regain my original self as a woman. While I was already doing some stage performances and TV appearances right after retiring, I kept thinking “I have to make sure I live in a way that doesn’t disappoint my fans as a former otokoyaku”, so I think I was straining myself a bit. Once I got to the second year, I was able to relax and realize “even without the ‘backbone’ I gained from Takarazuka, I’m still me.”

If I hadn’t become Top Star, I might have stayed in Takarazuka as long as they would let me

Oricon: In any case, it seems that retiring from Takarazuka after 17 years in the company must have been a huge decision.

Sagiri: Retiring from Takarazuka was a huge turning point in my life. In Takarazuka, passing things down to the next generation is very important. That’s something that I felt while I was in Takarazuka as I saw watched various Top Stars and would see them off as their junior, so I feel that as Top, the timing in which I passed that baton on wasn’t merely up to my own desires…

Oricon: If you had been able to choose your own time of retirement…?

Sagiri: If I’d had to choose for myself, I think I would have gone forever without being able to make the decision to quit. Maybe I was only able to retire because as Top Star I had to pass on that baton to the next generation… I felt that Takarazuka was the only place that would let me be the ‘otokoyaku’ I had always admired, so I might still be there forever (laughs).

Being praised on things I felt were my weak points gave me confidence

Oricon: Upon becoming Top Star, you set a record by having 5 successive shows in the Takarazuka Grand Theatre run at over 100% capacity. Due to your making a record like that for the first time in Takarazuka, just hearing the name Sagiri Seina makes me think of your brilliant career, but what do you think looking back on it?

Sagiri: When I was younger, I had an internal concept of the ideal otokoyaku I wanted to perform as. I wanted to be a really dependable, powerful kind of man. But no matter how much effort I put into performing, I realized that I couldn’t play the kind of male characters that I admired. It took me some time to accept that there was a difference between what I wanted to perform, and what I was capable of performing.

Oricon: Did you try things to become closer to your ideal?

Sagiri: In Takarazuka, [otokoyaku] dance wearing 7-cm heels, but since I was so self-conscious about my short height I would add another 1 or 2 centimeters on top of that. I felt like just that wasn’t enough, so during my first couple of years, I would also do my hair so it stood up really high. The more energy I was putting into seeming tall, the higher my bangs would get (laughs). But little by little I realized that this looked really imbalanced and wasn’t doing me any favors. I was putting too much effort into the wrong things while trying to cover for my height.

Oricon: What was it that led to you accepting ‘the difference between ideals and reality’?

Sagiri: When I received praise for attributes that I had considered by shortcomings. When people would tell me “You’re so small, but your dancing is so big!” I thought “I look big even though I’m being compared to really large people!” and gained a lot of confidence. Also, when a hometown friend came to see me, they said “Since you’re little, I can spot where you are right away!” which made me think “Maybe this is actually a lucky thing!?” and start to see what I had such a complex about as an advantage.

I want to show my juniors that you can do well for yourself even after leaving Takarazuka

Oricon: Now that you have retired from Takarazuka, is there someone you see as a goal to emulate?

Sagiri: If you asked me “What kind of person do you want to become”, I actually don’t have anyone I could point to and say “this person”. Of course there are lots of people I think are amazing, and lots of people I admire, but as for my ‘ideal’, since I’ve had so many experiences of failure to achieve an ideal, I think I want to find what only I can do and aim for that.

Oricon: From talking to you today, it sounds like you might demonstrate a new path for life as a Takarazuka graduate.

Sagiri: I want to walk a path that lets all the girls who are currently in Takarazuka look at what I’m doing and think “Even after leaving Takarazuka we’ll be alright.” Since I served as the ‘face’ of Takarazuka for three years, I want to fulfill that responsibility thoroughly.

She dreams of marriage to someone she can walk through life with while mutually encouraging each other

Oricon: Can you tell us about your prospects for the future or things you want to challenge yourself with?

Sagiri: There are still tons of people who have never heard of Sagiri Seina, so I want to take on work that lets me appear where those people can see me. I’m being taken good care of by an agency that seems like they’ll be able to help me achieve that reality, so it’s exciting to think that I’ll have more of those opportunities coming up. I’m determined to do everything I can as an expressive performer, so my current dream is to challenge myself in all kinds of ways and have more people know me.

Oricon: Finally, is there something you want for your private life?

Sagiri: Marriage! (laughs) Before I signed with the agency, I told them “One day, I hope to get married.” I think being married would feel really different compared to my current unmarried state. I want to experience that feeling. I think having someone I could walk through life with, mutually encouraging each other, and personally creating a new group of companions called a ‘family’ with someone would definitely be a joyful experience.

#takarazuka #article translation #OG materials #troupe: snow #sienne: sagiri seina

[valkyrieelysia18]

RWBY Rewrite: Pyrrha Nikos

Hello again! And this time I get to use that for the right post. Today we are taking a look at one of the characters that got severely short changed when it came to character development Pyrrha Nikos.

Pyrrha is perhaps one of the more popular characters of RWBY and her background and fighting abilities gave her immense potential. Her personality was rather sweet too. Unfortunately, the first two volumes didn’t really give her much outside of Jaune and when we finally got something in the third volume, she got killed off. Here’s the thing....I don’t actually mind that she got killed off.

Now before you all crucify me, let me explain. Volume 3 was a mixed bag of storytelling, but I don’t have any problems with the deaths and losses. It was a good way of setting the tone going forward: People are going to die, characters we have grown close to aren’t safe, and even our main team is not untouchable. Pyrrha’s death, the death of the seemingly untouchable perfect hero that seemed fated for success, was honestly a good idea.....executed poorly.

To get what I’m going on about, I’m going to talk about one of the few things I think the original Fullmetal Alchemist anime did better Brotherhood; the buildup and death of Maes Hughes. We get introduced to him a couple of years prior to the story’s present and when we come back to the current time, we see Maes quite a bit whether it helping the other characters or just him being his loveable self. We know him and his family very well. We see him as a father, a husband, a soldier, and a friend. When he dies, its a genuine gut punch. Especially because we know he had a life prior to the plot.

That was never something I got from Pyrrha. For someone who hates her fame, we don’t really see her deal with it all that much outside of her first conversation with Weiss and the Pumpkin Pete’s advertising which one episode in early Volume 1. We only get her talking about one member of her family (her mother) and it’s never brought up again. No, that scene in Argus does not count. Show, don’t tell is a very much a problem with Pyrrha’s story arc.

Then of course there is the biggest problem of all this: her relationship with Jaune. Now, I’m going to get into this more when we get to the Rewrite for the Jaunedice Arc, but I’ll give you a brief overview of feelings on him. I like Jaune and I don’t think that he’s an inherently bad character. He does have some good qualities and potential. Unfortunately, even though I like Jaune, I recognize that he has gotten way too much screen time (to the detriment of many other characters including Ruby and Pyrrha) and he has gotten away with a lot of things with little blowback to himself. I guess I’m more inclined to blame the writers than Jaune because everyone is done in by the writing. So, it’s still going to be there, but majorly changed to make it a lot more balanced and believable. Basically, the relationship is important to her, but it doesn’t define who she is as a character.

I feel this writing is going to get a bit more in depth so prepare yourself accordingly. Also note that I dropped RWBY after Volume 6 so anything introduced or mentioned in Volume 7 and beyond will be disregarded. So let’s get into it!

Before Beacon: Prophecy and Fame

In this Rewrite, Pyrrha was born in a port city in Southern Anima that draws heavily from the Ancient Greco-Roman culture. She was the only child of very prosperous merchants, her family having gained great wealth following the Great War due to their ties to other kingdoms in trade. Much like Weiss’s family, they’re relatively noveau rich. Her parents doted on her and when she got older, they saw she was a natural in the art of combat. They took her to a seer in the city, an older woman by the name of Laurel Visione who as you might guess is a reference to the Oracle of Delphi. Laurel tells Pyrrha and her parents that she was blessed with great strength and talent. That her star is bright and she has the ability to become a great warrior with a great destiny.

Her parents are pleased by these words, but Pyrrha notices the woman seems to be holding something back. As her parents leave, she lingers behind and asks the woman about it. Laurel smiles and tells that those gifted with that much brightness, also tend to burn out young. She goes on and tells Pyrrha that if she chooses the path of a hero, she will save many lives and inspire many more, but it will also take her away from what she truly wants. It doesn’t mean that she will die, free will should always be taken into account, but if she chooses this path she will meet death sooner rather than later. She’s telling Pyrrha this because it’s her destiny, not her parents, and its up to her to choose how she’s going to face that destiny. As a parting piece of advice, she tells her that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t see that reason until much later.

Pyrrha keeps this all in mind, as well as keeping it a secret from her parents. We’ll get back to Laurel later.

Her parents, unaware of this, go all out in supporting her in her training. With every new tournament and success, their pride grows even more. They do however realize, that the success is affecting her standing among her peers, her fame making it all but impossible for her to have friends. There is an also accident with Pyrrha’s semblance that almost permanently injured someone because Pyrrha lost control. As a result, Pyrrha only uses a fraction of her semblance’s power and that gives more context to when she got upset during Volume 3 when she used it on Jaune in the courtyard.

When she announces to her parents she’s applying for Beacon, they’re shocked. Not everyone who graduates from a combat school ends up at the Academies (such institutes are super competitive) and with Pyrrha’s semblance mainly geared towards fighting people, throwing away her tournament career when she’s at the top of her game seems rash. Tournament fighting isn’t easy and isn’t as prestigious as being a Huntress, but it’s also much safer with sanctioned rules and the paycheck being just as lucrative. Not to mention, she’d be doing her schooling on a completely different continent. As parents, they love their daughter and want what's best for her, but they honestly can’t understand why she’s doing this. Nevertheless, she’s made her decision and there’s nothing they can say to change her mind. All they can do is see her off with a smile and wish her well.

Beacon: Fame, Friendship, and Love

Now a somewhat constant thing that comes up with Pyrrha during her school days is that her fame is very much hanging over her. Students are constantly trying to get her autograph, people like Cardin try to rile her up, and during the tournament some Haven students openly disparage her for transferring to another kingdom. This will eventually allow her and Weiss to get closer, as Weiss has had to deal with fame and even higher expectations since she was younger than Pyrrha.

Her relationship with her teammates become the first genuine experiences she has with friendship; Nora is a great workout buddy who makes everyone laugh and Ren is someone she can talk a lot of things over with such as the differences between Central Anima and Southern Anima. However, she is new to working with a team and it takes her a little while to get used to it. This is part of the reason why she’s so trusting of Jaune’s leadership at the beginning until it is shaken by him revealing the truth about his transcripts.

Of course, being a rewrite she also gets a lot more interaction with Team RWBY. Her relationship with Ruby is very much highlighted with the younger girl being a tad more idealistic and naïve with Pyrrha being a bit more reserved and more knowledgeable about her future goals. These two are very much foils to each other, which I will get to later on.

Then of course there is her relationship with Jaune. In the show, she says that Jaune was the first person to treat her as a regular girl and this rewrite will be showing that. While others will be interested in her accolades and fame, Jaune will show interest in Pyrrha as a person like the things she enjoys and what growing up for her was like. They start on a strong friendship with Pyrrha’s feelings developing into something more and Jaune a tad more oblivious to it. This will definitely change their relationship from Volumes 1 and 2, but not 3. Though I would probably cut out one of the Arkos songs because there are two more than it needs to be. It gives off the impression that Pyrrha defined herself solely by her relationship with Jaune and you never want to make a character come off as just a love interest to another character. And there are so many other people who would probably benefit with a song POV.

Death: Aftermath and Distrust

The main difference about Pyrrha’s death in canon and this rewrite is that her death affects everyone in the main group, especially her teammates and Ruby. Jaune is still very affected as he was her partner and friend and still has very conflicted thoughts over her romantic feelings towards him, but Ren and Nora are also noticeably grieving her in their own ways. Ruby tries to bottle it up most of the time, much like how she treats a lot of her negative emotions and that comes back to bite her much later on when she is at her lowest and reaches her emotional breaking point. For most of the story, she gets very haunting dreams about Pyrrha (occasionally accompanied by Penny) saying that she has accepted her destiny and questions what Ruby is going to do. This will be foreshadowing for what I’ll talk about in the next section.

The biggest effect that Pyrrha’s death has is that JNR is much more distrusting of Ozpin than RWBY. While they will recognize that Pyrrha made her own decision and they blame Cinder and the others for her death, they still see the whole choice presented to Pyrrha as extremely sketchy and questionable. Pyrrha was the type of person who would not have said no if it meant saving people. And more than just what could have been the result of the transfer, its the fact that they chose a first year student for the job when there should have been better candidates with more experience and a better understanding of what they were getting into (especially as we know the cut off date for Maiden powers is 30).

Jaune, Ren, and Nora still see Salem and her group as the biggest threat to humanity, but that doesn’t mean they like or trust Ozpin (this is not the same for Oscar, but that’s another post). And given that this rewrite will make Oz a much more morally gray character who HAS done some pretty reprehensible things in his conflict with Salem, this distrust will turn out to be very much justified.

Another change to the story is that after Mistral Arc, JNR would actually split off from the main group. Getting the Relic to Atlas is definitely a priority, but this also leaves Shade Academy in a bit of the dark with how things are going. So RWBY, Qrow, and Ozcar would head to Atlas with the Relic while JNR accompanied by Team SSSN would head to Vacuo (which doesn’t have closed borders and therefore would be easier to travel to) after a taking a short detour to Pyrrha’s hometown to give the news to her parents in person. This would make writing the Atlas Arc easier by trimming down the size of the group.

The meeting with Pyrrha’s parents....does not go well. The actual confirmation of their daughter’s death is heartbreaking and their grief and anger is focused on the immediate targets: her teammates. They angrily ask why they didn’t try to stop her or get professional help. They especially treat Jaune harshly when he tells them she sent him away before going to confront Cinder. The three very much realize that they’re not welcome and present what’s left of Pyrrha’s personal things (including her circlet). The two calm down a bit as they see these things and accept them with thanks, but politely tell the group to leave and allow them to grieve alone. They disapproved of her choice and this result makes them feel justified in their opinion. They feel cheated of their only child, who could have done so much...had she not chosen to become a Huntress. 

As JNR leaves the house, they’re greeted by Laurel Visione. After a brief conversation about her past with Pyrrha in Laurel’s home, they question why she would tell Pyrrha about her destiny if that destiny would lead to her death. Laurel would tell them that she wanted to Pyrrha to understand the full risks of the path she was walking towards. If she wanted to turn back from that, she could have, she’d have more than enough time to come to the decision, but she choose not to. She accepted her destiny and had viewed it with a measure of peace. Laurel states that she probably died with some regrets, very few people don’t, but she made her own decision to that end and she wouldn’t have blamed anyone for it.

Before the group leave to meet up with Team SSSN to head to Shade, Laurel tells them one last thing: That the choice that Pyrrha had in front of her is the same one that Ruby is also going to deal with.

Destiny: Ruby

Perhaps the best way to summarize the foil relationship between Pyrrha and Ruby is a quote from one of my favorite animes of all time Princess Tutu: “Those who accept their fate find happiness; those who defy it, glory.”

Pyrrha knew from practically the beginning that her destiny as a hero would lead to an early end. And she accepted it. If it meant saving others and doing what was right, she would gladly give her life to do so. During Volume 3 with the Maiden choice hanging over is when she actually considers walking away from everything and staying with her friends, realizing what Laurel meant all those years ago. But in the end, she still chose her path even if she didn’t know everything about what was going on.

As for Ruby, I mentioned Raven giving a warning to Ruby about using her eyes would lead to an early grave like her mother and grandfather (who are posthumous characters who will play a role in the greater story). I’m not going into specifics right now, but the Silver Eyes bear a great cost in this Rewrite and almost all Silver Eyed Warriors die extremely young. The path of a Silver Eye, of a great hero that Ruby had wanted to emulate, will turn out to have a dark price to it. 

The difference between Ruby and Pyrrha is that Ruby does not accept this fate. She will not walk away from the fight, but she is not going to readily sacrifice herself either. She is going to take a look at her fate, her people’s history, Ozpin and Salem’s conflict, and tell them to screw destiny. Screw people making assumptions and choices for her. The only person who gets decide who she is and what she stands for is her. And everyone has the right to make that same decision.

OKAY, that post took longer than I thought it was going to. At least I got it out before I went with my family on our Christmas vacation. The next post will probably get out in 2020. As for the topic, let’s just say it’s not about a person....

#rwde #pyrrha nikos #Jaune Arc #ruby rose #rwby rewrite #lie ren #nora valkyrie #arkos

[venomsvl]

Your Fault

Pt.1 || Pt.2 || Pt.3 || Pt.4

Summary: Betty copper, a  perfect girl next door, wants to reflect back the anger and hurt feelings, back to Jughead. In order to reach her main goal; Revenge.

Warning: tbh I don't know

Betty's POV

The first day of school started as any school day, boring. Absolutely boring with a little bit of nothing new.

But around the middle of second class I heard the worst news I could ever hear. In the microphone Principal Weatherbee announcing that Southside High is indeed closing down. And since we only have two schools in Riverdale and one is closing down; the the students would be coming here!

I didn't really think to much into it until I remembered who we saw (more like bumped) yesterday, Jughead Jones. Jughead Freaking Jones is coming here! He's going to go to school with Me!

Who would want to be stuck with their ex-best friend in a small classroom probably most of the day?! It would truly be a living hell.

Am sure it would be because I don't think I would like a whole bunch of annoying comments come my way. He always appeared to be annoying when we were friends am not sure if that changed, but I hope it did. Yet I still plan on ignoring him.

Even though I have been only telling his bad side, he sure did have a heart of gold. He did help me a lot with my homework or studies. And would always make sure I had a smile on my face and if not he would come up with the stupidest ideas just to hear me laugh. He did that a lot special when I come visit him from my house. And I would forever be grateful for that.

I soon became suspicious about him trying to hear my laugh, because even if I was happy he would still try and make me laugh. I even one-time came to a conclusion that he liked me. I was young and naive to know anything so I dropped it. Thinking nothing of it except one of my stupid theories.

It had been almost 4 years since I talked to him or seen him in that matter. At first I was depressed but soon after I moved on because I shouldn't drool over the past. I don't know how he looks and I hope he doesn't recognize me, to not talk to me.

And if am being honest am a nervous wreck. But am also thanking God that I have time to adjust for about a week or two til they come.

Jughead's POV

I and Toni were sitting in the Red and Black office thinking and thinking for ideas on what to write on our next article, that was 'til Sweet pea and Fangs came in rushing towards us.

Mumbling incoherent words while thing to catch their breath, neither me nor Toni understood a word.

Asking them to calm down first and to take a deep breath. But what they said next made me regret that.

"Jug, Jughead. We got I don't know if it's bad or good news to you but we're all going to Riverdale High" both Fangs and Sweet Pea uttered.

Now that is just the worst news ever. You may ask why would you hate going to a school with better facilities?

Easy, let me explain. I have to endure my old friends 24/7. And I don't want to do that.

I think they saw the shocked expression that was on my face. I had to see all three of them during classes and lunch. Even maybe the hallways.

If am being honest I miss them ever so much. Especially Betty; she was and will always be my crush. You may call me stalker but I almost know everything about her and her life.

And the worse part was, that she was crushing so ad on Archie. I mean why not he was the perfect guy next door.

I stayed but and ignored my feelings.

To this day I don't regret leaving them.

Ever, because if I didn't they would all be dead.

I was sad and broken for not being able to see them anymore. And the only way to cut them out of my book was by writing a fight with them.

The first time I saw them was yesterday; were we bumped into each other. I was to focused on my phone to notice them walking in. I couldn't look at their eyes or even bring myself to utter the word 'hey'. I just acted as if I never took notice in them.

I had contained myself so well the last few years but I just couldn't handle it anymore when I saw them holding hands and laughing together.

When I got home, a choking sob broke through my throat. Tears racing down my face, hitting the floor. Knees getting weaker bring me towards the floor, sobbing like there is no tomorrow.

Out of my anger and sadness, I had trashed the whole trailer upside down. Tables were flips, couch pillows thrown God knows where, vases broken on the floor, shelves taken out of the wall, damaged books... You get the picture.

The show was two days way. The grand finally to the Pep rally. They would be playing as a band at the show but one of the band members was refusing to go up the stage.

I got a flash back to when we were all still friends, maybe a month or two before the grand fight had happened.

FLASH BACK

That person was Jughead; he had lost his beloved beanie. He could go up the stage without it because it meant everything to him; it was basically his lucky charm. Without it he couldn't think straight.

"Until Jug's real hat turns up, I'll make a look like substitute for our show date's" Betty had offered Jughead to make him a duplicate of his hat just for him to feel happy and relieved.

"Great. But it just won't be the same" that was the reply he had said. He had a huge frown on his face showing how he felt about loosing his hat.

"Jug. It's just for a day you would be wearing that. Til we find your hat. I know how much it means to you"

Even when they were little she would look after me. The thought of her learning knitting just for me to feel happy again made my heart flutter.

Am guessing because of the breakdown, I had passed out on the floor. Since that was where I had woken up rudely might I say; by a phone call from Toni making sure I wasn't late.

Tag your username

#Bughead #jughead x veronica #jughead x archie #jughead x betty #jughead jones #betty cooper #betty x jughead #betty x veronica #betty x kevin #archie andrews #archie x betty #archie x veronica #archie x kevin #archie x jughead #veronica lodge #veronica x jughead #veronica x archie #veronica x betty #veronica and archie #veronca and betty #riverdale #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale fandom #bughead- your fault

[tumblingdoe]

FULL INTERVIEW WITH DR. KIT STUBBS the founder of the Effing Foundation. 

1. How did the Effing Foundation start? Why? Why you?

I started getting the idea for what would eventually become the Effing Foundation back around 2012. I had started making some very nerdy sex toys -- my first dildo, the Tardis Tickler, is a copy of my favorite toy with a small Tardis suspended inside it; I also made The Hammer, a rainbow light-up dildo controlled by an Arduino microcontroller. People really enjoyed those toys! They made people laugh, and they encouraged people to talk about sex and sexuality in a way that wasn't sexualizing or objectifying. So I started giving talks about DIY sex toys and sex/tech, which meant I started meeting all kinds of cool artists, educators, and other sex-positive folk. And I realized that there was a growing community of creators who were trying to start these conversations, but that it's incredibly difficult to get financial support to do so. I realized that changing the world requires money. It takes a lot of other things, too, but if you don't have money, it's hard to get very far. So the Foundation grew out of the desire to move money from, say, my friends in tech who are sex-positive, and get it to sex-positive artists and educators who really need the support to do their work.

Why me? Well, after I got my Ph.D. in robotics and had been working in that field for a couple of years, I realized that there were already a lot of people doing great work in robotics. But there weren't very many people doing sex-positive activism, and I have a lot of privileges that make it easier for me -- I'm white, I'm well-educated, I have financial support, and I can use my wallet name with the fancy letters after it. I felt that I could make better use of those advantages, and make a bigger impact on the world, if I moved from robotics to sex-positive activism.

2. Why do you keep it going? How long would you like it to live on for?

I work so hard to keep the Foundation alive not only because I love doing this work -- I have met so many amazing people, and I have had the honor of helping to bring some absolutely fabulous projects into the world -- but also because it's so desperately needed. We've made a lot of progress, but we are still a ways away from a world where every person has access to pleasure-focused, scientifically accurate, age-appropriate, queer, trans, and disability-inclusive sexual education; a world where we can have open conversations about sex, sexuality and asexuality, about consent and relationships, without fear, shame, or stigma.

I want the Effing Foundation to live on until it's no longer needed, to be honest! But I think we have a lot of work to get there.

3. What's your big dream with it?

I want us to be able to give away hundreds of thousands of dollars every year, to be able to offer ongoing funding to projects we support, and to have a small staff of folks who are doing this full time and getting paid for their work. Right now we can only make grants in the US, but eventually I'd love for us to gain the skills and people we need in order to make grants internationally, too.

4. Is there a way for the public to have a say on who is granted funding?

No, not really, and that's an intentional choice. The folks who have the most say right now are our Board and our Advisory Council, which is made up of sex-positive artists, educators and activists -- as much as possible, we want funding decisions to be made by people who represent the communities we are trying to support.

If you're a member of the public, you can get involved by donating and by telling your favorite sex-positive educators, artists, or organizations about our grant program so they can apply!

5. When is the application for funding deadline?

We haven't announced next year's calendar yet, but generally submissions open in late spring and close in the summer. If you want to get emails about the grant program, you can go to

https://www.effing.org/join

and sign up for grant updates there.

6. How do you decide who to give the money to?

Our submission process starts with an online survey, where someone tells us a bit about who they are and what they would like to do. We first rule out submissions that aren't really about sex or that aren't #ownvoices (meaning the person doing the work doesn't share the same life experiences as the people the work is focused on). We also rule out projects where there are other funding agencies available, like projects that are about public health. We look at how well the work supports our mission and our values, and we have a number of demographic goals to make sure we are getting funding to people with (multiple) marginalized identities. We also have a set of special topics that we're particularly interested in -- this year, those topics included supporting intersex people and supporting neurodiverse people.  Based on all of those goals, our staff and Advisory Council narrow those initial surveys down to the top dozen or so, and then those projects move to the next round where they give us more details and things like a budget. The Advisory Council reviews that information more closely and provides feedback to the applicants, who have an opportunity to edit their applications before the Advisory Council reviews them and make recommendations to the Board, who make the final funding decisions.

We try to balance supporting projects and organizations that are well-established with supporting people who may be relatively new to the sexuality space; and we try to make sure we are funding projects from a lot of different parts of the US.

7. Is sexuality underfunded!?!

The sexuality field is extremely underfunded! If you start looking at an area like public health -- HIV and STI prevention and treatment -- those  have some funding, but they're still really underfunded. If you look at things like queer- and trans-inclusive, pleasure-focused sex education, or support for art that celebrates sexuality, or for resources supporting fat folks or disabled folks with respect to sex, there's basically nothing. Sadface!

We're extremely proud that the Effing Foundation funds the kinds of work that almost no one else will. Award-winning, ethically produced queer feminist porn? An anthology of erotic live-action games? Phenomenal fat-positive nude photography shoots? Yep, we fund that.

8. How much of an impact do you think it makes? Do you have statistics?

In our first two years, we've awarded over $100,000 in grants. That has helped us reach over 2,400 people directly as audience members, workshop participants, and performers, and we've reached over 240,000 people via the web (including social media, web visits, and podcast downloads). That doesn't include the impacts that are harder to measure -- the work that couldn't have been done with out our support, and the difference that we've made in the lives of individual artists and educators, where we've helped fund new equipment that will help them keep doing their awesome work for years to come.

9. Why did you choose to partner with Sexplanations?

Choosing to partner with Sexplanations was a really exciting opportunity for us. Sexplanations works to provide inclusive, scientifically accurate, pleasure-focused sex education, which is exactly the kind of work that our organization wants to support! We're a relatively young and small organization, so this partnership also gives us the opportunity to tell the Sexplanations audience about our mission and our awesome grantees.

10. What do you want my audience to know about the Effing Foundation?

The Effing Foundation is a new non-profit whose entire purpose is to help bring more sex-positive art and education into the world. If you like Sexplanations, you might also like some of the other projects we're supporting! And if you want to support awesome sexuality educators and artists, your donations will help us make even more grants.

11. What other names did you come up with for it before choosing the Effing Foundation?

Oh, geez! I am so horrible at naming things. So originally my idea had been to build a crowdfunding site for sexuality projects (this was back before you could put much of anything relating to sex on Kickstarter or IndieGoGo), and the best name I could come up with for that site was "Passionate Produce." It was a very weird garden metaphor. Once I realized that it made more sense to build a not-for-profit, The Effing Foundation was actually almost the first name that I came up with, but I was like, "lol, that would never actually work." So I spent another six or eight months trying to come up with a name, but I never found anything that was as good or memorable as The Effing Foundation. So here we are!

12. What is your fundraising goal?

We are trying to raise $150,000 this year, which will let us make more grants and help build our organization's capacity for the future. Our stretch goal is closer to $250,000. (More specific time frame: $75,000 by the end of November and $150,000 by the end of May.)

13. What is the best way for people to donate?

Go to

www.effing.org/donate

! We accept PayPal, checks, credit or debit cards directly on our site, and more.

14. Can they donate in someone else's honor? Like a gift for the holidays?

That's a great idea! Unfortunately we don't have a way to do that on the website yet.

15. How do you feel when you inform people they are grant recipients?

Telling people that they've been awarded a grant is The. Best. It's absolutely the highlight of my year. I'm so excited, and they're so excited! And what's great is, it's really just the beginning of a new collaboration -- now we get to provide support and watch as grantees start doing fabulous things.

16. How can people get in ways?

My guess is this question is, how can people get involved?

- Sign up for our newsletter (www.effing.org/join) and follow us on social media (@Twitter, facebook.com/EffingFoundation)- Donate if you can.- Please help us spread the word! If you have friends who are into sex-positivity, please tell them about us. If you are doing sex-positive activism, or you know someone else who is, please check out our grant program (www.effing.org/grants).- If you're interested in running a fundraiser for us, or you have other skills to volunteer, drop us a line ([email protected]).

17. What gap is the Effing Foundation filling? Is there anything else helping to fill this gap?

There are some awesome groups out there doing sex-positive education and activism, and activism in support of sex workers, and we hope you'll consider supporting them as well. Here are just a few to get started:

- Scarleteen (https://www.scarleteen.com/)

- The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (https://ncsfreedom.org/)- The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health (http://www.thecsph.org/)- Sex Workers Outreach Project USA (https://swopusa.org/)

Honestly, I don't know any other organization with a grant program that's supporting sex-positive art and education. And unlike a lot of grant givers, we don't require our applicants to have 501(c)(3) status or a fiscal sponsor -- literally anyone in the US doing sex-positive work can apply for a grant from us, and we absolutely fund folks who have never applied for a grant before.

[nerdygaymormon]

The Expanded Role of Youth in the Church

I was asked to speak to all the holders of the Aaronic & Melchizedek priesthood in my stake about all the changes the church has made in recent years to the youth programs. I’m putting a copy of the talk here for myself. 

Plus I felt inspired to say something about being gay. It wasn’t in my original plans but the spirit said “what’s the point of having you in church if you don’t address this? No one in that room can speak to it like you can”

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An Analogy

Tonight’s organist is Brother Bradshaw. Brother Bradshaw, how would you respond if you received this message:

Hi. I am David and I need to learn how to play the organ before Saturday. My parents have been paying for me to get organ lessons every week for the last 6 years but I never actually attended any of the lessons and I spent the money on other stuff. Now they want me to play a Toccata by Bach at their wedding anniversary on Saturday.

If you can teach me, be here tomorrow at 11:00 am with a keyboard. I am a fast learner so I am pretty sure I will pick it up quickly.

That’s a ridiculous letter, right? 6 years of lessons and practicing can’t be replicated in a single day. Such a shortcut is not available for someone to gain the knowledge and develop the skills to play the piano beautifully. This is also true of things like learning to speak a language, become an agile athlete, a competent & expressive dancer, or a proficient lawyer.  

Putting in consistent effort over time is what brings skills and knowledge. The church experience of our youth has been changing so as to use these teenage years as a time of growth and training in the gospel and in leadership.

If you’re a dad, you should know that the church experience for your sons & daughters is different than it was for you and me. They are being asked to be an active participant in their faith and their religious experience, not just observers. When they turn 18 and are adults, they’ll be prepared to make positive contributions.

Christ already has shown us He has confidence in teens to do great things. As a church we’re showing confidence in our teenagers.

Jesus works with teens

Joseph Smith

How old was Joseph Smith when he had a vision in which God & Jesus visited him? 14.

How old was Joseph when an angel named Moroni appeared and told him about the Book of Mormon and where to find it? 17.

How old was Joseph when he was allowed to begin translating the Book of Mormon and essentially begin his life’s ministry? 21.

How old were Jesus’ twelve apostles?

When Jesus began His ministry at age 30, He chose 12 disciples. We know a little about them. We know 4 of them were fishermen, 1 was a tax collector. 2 were brothers. While we don’t know exactly how old they were, we have some clues as to their ages. Have you ever thought about how old the original apostles were when Jesus called them?

The temple tax

In Exodus 30:14-15, we learn that Jewish law was that every man over the age of 20 is to pay a half-shekel when they visit the temple. In Matthew 17:24-27, when Jesus and His disciples were headed to the temple, Jesus instructed Peter to catch a fish in order to pay this tax. Peter finds a shekel in the mouth of the fish he catches; enough to pay the temple tax for two men. That’s all that this group would owe. It’s an indication that 11 of the disciples were under the age of 20.

They were unmarried

We know that Peter had a wife because Jesus healed his mother-in-law (Matthew 8:14-15). In those times, a Jewish man receives a wife after the age of 18. Again, no other disciples’ wives are mentioned. So Peter was likely the eldest of the 12 apostles and owed the temple tax.

The use of the term “little ones”

Several times in the New Testament (Matthew 11:25, Luke 10:21, and John 13:33) Jesus calls his disciples little children; this term of endearment makes more sense if they were half his age.

The zeal and folly of youth

If it’s true that they were mostly teenagers, some of their comments and actions make more sense and fit well with the zeal, energy and goofiness of adolescence.

Expanded role of youth in the church

The sun seems so huge and bright to us and it’s obvious to place it as the most greatest object in the heavens. However, we now have the technology to compare it to other stars and find that it’s not particularly large or hot or bright compared to others. Our sun doesn’t need to be like other stars, it’s good as it is in its circumstances, especially to us on earth.  

Like the stars, we’re not all the same and trying to force us all to be the same will not bring us real happiness or fulfill our purposes.

Over the past 7 years the church has been inspired to dramatically change the church experience for the youth. I love that it now allows for a customization of lessons, experiences and goals to help us become the best “stars” that we can be.

Come, Follow Me

When I was growing up, there was a manual and the leaders just followed it, did whatever the next lesson was and covered all the points made in the manual’s lesson.

A big change occurred in 2013 when the youth implemented the Come, Follow Me style of lessons. By way of comparison, the adults only got it this year.

Come, Follow Me meant no more manual, it’s all online. The youth presidencies are asked to choose which lessons would most benefit their class or quorum. And the lessons have multiple components for the person teaching to choose what parts to include.

Come, Follow Me encouraged the youth to start teaching. A 12-year-old could be invited to prepare and share part of the lesson, a 17-year-old might be responsible for the entire lesson.

Part of Come, Follow Me is that we study at home. This year we’ve been doing New Testament, next year will be Book of Mormon. We study at home and we share things we learned on Sunday, or at seminary.

Family History

The next big change for youth was Family History.

When I was growing up, genealogy was something old people did. They came to the family history library and scrolled through microfiche, recorded info onto paper forms that they turned in to the temple.

Things moved online and it was clear youth would be more comfortable in this environment. Youth were encouraged to do “indexing,” which is looking at old records and typing the information so these records can be searched electronically.

They also were asked to work on their own family history and find ancestors who need temple work done.

Temple

When I was a youth, we usually took 1 or 2 trips to the temple with our ward to do baptism work. The bishop went on those trips and brought a list of names of youth who were allowed to participate, basically a one-time group recommend. It was essentially the ONLY time teenagers could go to the temple.  

Today, teenagers can have their own temple recommend! Their recommend is good for a year and they can choose to go multiple times to the temple. This month in General Conference, President Nelson announced some changes in the temple recommend questions. Youth now get asked the same questions as the adults.

To get a temple recommend, we meet with a member of the bishopric and he asks us these questions. A change from when I was a youth is that we don’t have to go in alone to see the bishop, or any other leader. This past Thursday I accompanied a friend when they met with their stake president. I wish more people felt comfortable doing this, asking someone to come along.

If you’re in an interview and anything said is making you feel uncomfortable, it is perfectly fine to ask if he should be asking about that or to ask if you could invite another adult to join you. Having someone else there is for your benefit, and it also protects the bishop. It’s a good practice.  

When I was a teen and went on ward trips to do baptisms, the temple provided the names of people for us to do their work. Today, youth are encouraged to do temple work for their own ancestors and can bring the names they find while doing family history work.

When I was a teenager, the only thing I could do at the temple was be baptized and be confirmed. Today someone who is a priest can baptize others. Any person with a recommend, including youth, can serve as witnesses.

Ministering

A few years ago we replaced Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching with Ministerng. The young men & young women are invited to participate. They have a role to play. Their presence makes a difference.  

Age

It’s been many decades since the Church last jiggered with the ages for when people could be put in the different offices of the priesthood. This year a change took place, we might even have an 11-year-old here tonight with us. A year ago everyone would’ve been 12 or older.

Missionaries

It used to be that to serve a mission, young men had to be age 19 and young women age 21. A few years ago that changed. Young men have the option of starting a mission at age 18 and the young women at age 19. Let me emphasize, this is an option, some people do better with a year or two of life experience out of high school. But this younger age is a testament to the preparation that today’s youth are receiving.

Some important changes in the mission experience has occurred. Sister missionaries get to be leaders, that wasn’t the case when I served.

When I was a missionary, I was allowed to make 2 phone calls home per year. Now missionaries can skype home each week. That’s a huge blessing for them and for their families. I’m actually jealous of that. And why do they get to call home? Because they have a positive impact on their families.

Not everyone is able to serve a traditional proselyting mission, and that’s okay. There’s plenty of opportunities to serve and now Service Missions are available. These can be customized to fit the capabilities of the missionary. It’s wonderful that more faithful members are able to serve and receive the blessings of dedicating their time to the Lord.

Duty to God and Personal Progress

At the end of the year Duty to God and Personal Progress are being retired. The new program is youth will choose their own goals to work towards in 4 areas:  Spiritual, Social, Physical and Intellectual. This allows for customization for where each youth is at and what their interests are.

Also, Boy Scouts isn’t the official mid-week activity for young men. Now we have flexibility to plan activities that can meet the needs & interests of the young men.

Presidencies

I have a story, when I was a teenager, we got a new quorum president. The leaders explained that he held the priesthood keys for the quorum and the adults were there to help him. This new president said, “So I’m in charge? Okay, then we’re done with Scouting. Who votes of favor of ditching Scouts?” All the young men voted to end it. The leaders stepped in and said, this isn’t how it works. They would continue planning our Scouting activities and teaching the lessons on Sunday.

On paper the quorum president was in charge, but in reality it was the Young Men Presidency. The adults decided everything of any importance.

Guess what? President Nelson in General Conference announced no more ward young men presidencies, they will all be released by the end of the year. So who is responsible for the young men? The young men & the bishopric.

What does this mean?

In presidency meeting the bishopric trains and mentors the quorum presidency. The young men will learn about their responsibilities and be coached in how to be better at them.

They’ll review the purpose of a quorum, such as teaching, doing service, building unity and spreading the gospel. And they’ll plan activities related to these things.

The presidency will discuss each member of the quorum. They can discuss what is going on in the lives of the quorum members, what their interests are, things they struggle with.

With this in mind, the presidency chooses the lessons that the quorum or class will study on Sundays, and plans mid-week activities. The adults will help the young men think through the details of planning activities, what needs to be done, making assignments, and so on.

The ward young women presidency isn’t being eliminated, but they will follow the same model as the young men with the bishopric

Conclusion

At baptism we covenanted to take Christ's name upon us. Part of that is building community with other believers, and also doing things that Christ would do. That includes looking out for others, seeking to lift the burdens of others.

There are many circumstances we can be aware of and adjust our lessons & activities to accommodate them. I’ll give you two examples.

If we have someone who’s on the autism spectrum in our quorum and they’re sensitive to loud noise, we need to be mindful of that as we plan our activities, we don’t want to exclude them or cause them stress. 

Most of you know I’m gay, if you know a member of the class is gay, give them a heads up about a lesson or activity that revolves around dating & celestial marriage, trust me that this is likely a sensitive subject for them. It gives them the choice to participate or avoid what could be a hard time.

We need to make sure our youth know they are loved, they are heard and seen, they are understood. The focus of our youth program is meeting the needs of the youth so they can grow in the gospel in a way that works for them.

A lot is being asked of our teens

Over the past decade, more is asked of teenagers in the church and they are showing they are capable. Jesus showed faith in youth, we are following His example in giving youth more opportunities to lead, teach and develop their abilities.

Testimony

I’ve been fortunate to have involvement with the youth of our stake over the past 7 years. 3 years were as a member of the stake young men presidency and 4 just because they keep inviting me to participate in youth conferences, mini-MTC’s, dances, and so on.

I have found this generation to be remarkable in several ways.

They are far more tolerant. They accept others and allow people to express differences in how their appearance and dress. They are much better at inclusion than my generation.

They are service oriented. They like doing service and seek out opportunities. They would much rather go and do good in the world than sit in a class hearing about doing good in the world. They are more conscious that there are people with needs who they can assist.

They can tell when someone is fake, they highly value trust and authenticity.  

They have the potential for greatness. There is plenty of work to do in the Lord’s kingdom and they’re capable of joining in the work. Serving them and serving with them has strengthened my testimony.

#tumblrstake