#thats literally the only thing i gathered from the entire post

[narcissa-black-supermacy]

me, @heartofspells @veriableflowers and the gang on our way to bully people for writing Sirius the wrong way

#i cant believe they called us THE GANG #thats literally the only thing i gathered from the entire post #people are insane

[savefrog]

Dude the human body is crazy

That post about T giving you too much blood, and how thats a genetic condition passed down mainly through cis men (hemachromatosis). And how its a risk for going on T because someone can have inherited the gene but not know until going on T triggers the issues. I need to do more research, because I cant find a lot of information on how it reacts to T (besides it often resulting in lower T), but it almost looks like the body gets T and is like "Oh cool we're going dude mode now, heres that condition you were missing!"

Makes me think of how people who have had a hysterectomy can still experience the menstruation cycle even without a Uterus. Like PMS and the soreness and bloating associated with cramps. And its hard to find research on because its a newly recorded phenomenon with a lot of bias against it, but trans women on E may also experience a monthly cycle (PMS and the soreness and bloating associated with cramps) even without a Uterus as well. The body gets estrogen and is like "oh sick i know what to do with this! Pain!!!!!"

Like it really drives in how the human body is made of analogous structures. The reproductive system is all the same parts, just given different instructions. The clitoris can get erections! Hormones can change BONES even though its limited! (Horomonal changes also affect the bones during menopause for example, something archaeologists or forensic scientists can notice)

And speaking of, that whole thing about "when archaeologists see your skeleton THEN they will know" is bullshit! (ON SO MANY LEVELS)! Sex determination with bones is typically based on the measurement of literally ONE bone. And the field of archaeology has, for quite some time, acknowledged how innaccurate this can be. (And honestly, this assumption shows a lack of science knowledge in general, where in my experience researchers like to lean more towards "probably" rather than "definitely" when making ANY kind of assertion about something because there are ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS!)

Thanks to X-rays, we have classifications for different types of pelvis shapes. Do you know what may cause someone to have a C-section???? Having an Android (or "male-shaped") pelvis. Yes. A cis woman LITERALLY GIVING BIRTH, may have a pelvic shape that is labeled as having a masculine shape. AND IT IS NOT THAT RARE!!!! (A brief search says 20% of cis women)

But consider that people usually only get X-rays or other scans when absolutely needed. There could be so much more overlap that we arent even aware of. Things that are "rare instances" may not be that rare. We arent analyzing the dna of every person in existence, we only see what we are looking for and research has only just opened up past our cultural biases towards gender!

We know from studies of the brain that a lot of gendered assumptions (women are good at sorting colors because they were gatherers, etc) are not well-defined AT ALL. A lot of it may be learned during development. There are some stereotyped trends, but they're just small percentage trends such that its impossible to look at a brain and 100% say "yup thats male!", only at the most "well, statistically, its Slightly More Likely male" and still be very wrong. Exceptions are the NORM.

(And that whole evolutionary psychology thing of "women are better at colors because gatherers?"...based on what ancestors?!?!?!?!? Different groups of ancient people had different gender norms!!! There wasn't just one big caveman family for the entire paleolithic!!!! There are SO MANY recorded remains of what are most likely female hunters!!!!! Why would they not take advantage of having MORE HUNTERS during a hunting season?!?!!)

"Its simple biology" is quite possibly the most ignorant statement one can make, its a paradox. Biology is INHERENTLY complex, varied, and difficult to categorize. If you say it's simple even just for the sake of categorization, you are literally admitting to not knowing SHIT. Ask anyone into taxonomy. Categorizing animals seems easy if youve never actually done it, and meanwhile there are appparently heated debates on river dolphin teeth and whether or not river dolphins with no visible differences except slightly different teeth are different species or not. Birds are reptiles!!! Everything is a fucking fish!!!! Rigid thought based on societal bias is antithetical to science (though it has SURE affected science!)

Its that bias where the less you know about something, the easier you think it is. Someone may think they already know everything about a topic if they never actually researched it because they dont know whats out there. Whereas someone actually knowledgeable in that field KNOWS that its complicated and feels LESS like they know everything about it. Cis people who have never thought deeply about gender THINK it is simple because they lack any experience. They THINK its the same as they believed in preschool because they never challenged it - when everything else you learn in grade school is obviously simplified!!!

Its so blatantly apparent how little transphobes want to actually consider facts. Its all "just ask a biologist" until real biologists tell them its complex, then its "science is woke". They'll talk about gender all day and yet mock anyone actually studying it. It's all about rigid definitions, until someone tells them the literal definition of gender makes it seperate from sex. They pretend to care so much about the literal definitions of words and what you can and can't call something due to biology...but still call a seastar a "starFISH".

The WORLD is amorphous! Words are merely tools! Biology hates rigid categorization! EXCEPTIONS ARE THE NORM! live your damn life!

#dullblogging #disclaimer #i can add sources if asked but ill never get around to posting this if i try gathering them now #on mobile lol #my drafts are FILLED bc of that lol #so dont take my rambling as a source do research keep in mind bias exists #these are all rambling based on research i have done #for example that first thing ive only just heard of today and so i feel my understanding of it is shaky #but everything in the latter half of the post about biology being weird and amorphous #thats just true like. that is what biology is lol #if you insist on rigidity you are not doing biology

[volthcworld]

First post! The world so far.

Hello Tumblr

This blog is gonna be about my Hardcore world, the things I do in it and the things surrounding it! This ranges from building farms in game to making the Youtube videos about them and everything else I do for this world.

From start to end

The beginning

Apologies for the clickbaity thumbnail, i dont like it either.

This is my 10th Hardcore world, hence S10. There was really only 1 other noteworthy world, S9, but its boring ahh hell compared to S10. The death of that world is what is referenced in the first clip of the vid

As usual the first thing i did was get to the End asap and beat the dragon. Lowkey speedrunning means if i die during the hardest part of the game, i lose pretty much no progress.

The video is literally just me beating the game relatively fast, and instantly getting like 3 elytras cus of sheer luck. Nothing super interesting compared to the kind of shit thats coming up.

"Early" game

Early game for me is probably not like the casual Minecraft, i pretty much start with an elytra and loot from the End cities.

Video speaks for itself mostly, i looted an Ancient city for Swift Sneak, made an xp farm, got more gear etc. all necessary to do basic stuff. Theres also a tutorial for an iron farm :DDD its very in depth and amazing! Oh and also a "stone farm" (stone generator), mob farm and yeah its still not that interesting.

The wither skeleton skull gathering compilation at the end is one of my favourite sequences ive made in a while now. Hades music is so perfect for them.

Time for farming

Hooooly shit i can barely even begin to tell you just how many farms are in this episode, its probaby best to just watch it and see for yourself.

Noteworthy is the ancient city i neutralize, you might think thats an impressive feat or that its brave. Thing is, im not brave, just fearless. Anyways like i say in the video pretty much all farms that i built are materials for a storage system somehow

Turning point

This is around the time shit hits the fan. I built a medium sized storage system that sorts out literally almost everything in the game. It features a whole bunch of sick storage tech from the storage tech discord, wired up together by myself. Right around this time, not mentioned in the video, i also switched to loading all of my farms into boxes automatically. Thats right, shulker boxes. Almost every farm i have and build load their stuff into boxes by now. This allows me to bring actual metric tons of items around without needing to load and unload everything out of shulker boxes first.

The Hole

The massive hole i made with the funny machine in the video is for a purely decorative build. The plan is to build the entire terrain from bedrock up to custom mountaintops. This is quite the task and overwhelms me constantly so i have barely worked on it.

The present

This is where the video series ends, but like you can probably tell, theres a whole lot of stuff i do for 1 video. The next video will be on its way, and it will contain 3 farms and some work on the massive building project in the hole.

If this image overwhelms you, dont worry, me too. The monster of concrete and redstone components on the left is a massive and overpowered dirt farm, that happens to also produce cobblestone, spruce logs, moss and azalea as byproducts. Designed by CUANS_FANG its more insane than i ever need it to be, which is what i strive for now. On the right side, the tower made out of moss, is a bonemeal farm, specifically Chromoss cubes by Hexatron (?). It produces enough bonemeal to keep up with the dirt farm and dumbs its overflow into shulker boxes in the storage.

The storage of this farm, shown in this image, sorts out every item. Theres a mass crafting station to turn clay balls into clay blocks, a super smelter to turn those clay blocks into terracotta and a small bone meal powered wheat farm directly fed by the bonemeal output.

Clay balls? you might ask, but the dirt farm doesnt produce those?

Thats where the clay/mud converter comes in. You can stand at the input, get fed dirt directly from the dirt farm output and place it into the converter, which pushes the dirt through the converter, turning it into mud and optionally converting it to clay. The output is send up via a water column to the central storage of the farm.

This took me like a month to put together and build, and ive used like, none of the things i got from it LMAO. But it will be useful in the future im sure (coping).

And the latest and greatest, the bamboo farm. Its ilmangos hopper minecart flying machine thing with box loader thing. Its uuh, a bit fast. Gives me the new bamboo wood really quickly tho! Dont ask me why this was the first thing i did for the new update, i havent gotten any cherry wood or armor trims LMAO, thats up next tho :).

The future

This is the latest thing that happened to the world. Next up is getting armor trims. Then ill probably be building another tree farm that lets me farm cherry and azalea as well! Will be posting stuff about it here :3

#mineblr #technicalmc #minecraft #youtube #Youtube

[mageofminge]

sowwy 4 da lack of weezer posting, i am rlly into this guy and hes the only thing ive been thinking about so skip this post if y'all aren't that interested in my personal life;

ANYWAYS

since you're still here, lemme vent/delusionally ramble for a bit.

i really like this guy. like really like him. plus we get on rlly well, and i feel comfy talking to him, plus he even told me he's surprised nobody ever asked me out which was rlly sweet of him. plus he straight up told me 'yea if ur nice 2 me i'll prolly fall 4 u' so like.... i actually have hope this time. and honestly this is the first guy ive gotten pure giddy and giggly ab in ages, and thats rlly smth ! but im kinda afraid i might be taking it the wrong way and i dont rlly wanna ruin anything or come off as a creep (keep in mind there have been issues in the past where i misread social cues, caught feelings, only to kinda mess up the friendship dynamics and then get forced to backtrack).

i also feel very conscious of the fact that i am the only person out of that entire friend group that has never been in a relationship, and thus feel a bit anxious and unprepared.

im also kinda afraid of the whole coming off as delusional/a creep since ik hes also been talking to other ppl and bc of childhood issues i always feel like everyone else is a far nicer/better person than me and far more attractive than i am, esp if they're extroverted and socially competent and double esp if they're white. so basically i feel like i'd never be good enough for him to even be an option, despite (at least from what i gather, i am very bad with social cues and according to a geriatric neurologist would be on the spectrum if i was amab), him literally saying stuff that meant he could see me in more than a platonic light.

somehow at the same time, if he does like me i kinda have this perverse desire to be the one option. i don't just want him to settle for me, i want to be his first choice, i want him to be falling for me and pining after me as much as i'm pining after him. like... i want to be the only one.

and jeez i just rlly like this guy, i want to ask him out (or preferably for him to ask me out), i want to date him and buy him gifts, the whole shebang. i was going 2 write more but then i realised that might be getting way too personal, even for me. but yeah this is just a ramble, if you wanna offer advice(?) feel free to do so as well.

#bro i am down bad #maybe its a cuffing season thing #but it was never this bad before #despite me being single my whole life #relationship nonsense #jean's vents #please god 😭😭😭 #let him ask me out #i beg of you 😔✊

[dylanobrienisbatman]

The main problem with the whole mal vs the darkling thing in regards to being possessive (or really when it comes to any of their traits) is the fact that throughout, the darkling is clearly framed as the villain and his actions reflect that, whereas Mal as supposed to be the good guy and best romantic partner for Alina, and yet he has all these awful character traits and tendencies. So its less about how awful the Bad Guy is (since he's supposed to be), and more about how awful the person that we're supposed to believe is the best option for Alina is. I don't ship either, just my two cents.

Okay well... two things. First, your comment about "its less about how awful the bad guy is, since he's supposed to be", takes every comment I've made about Darkles out of context, which seems fitting since everything Darklina's spout about Mal is out of context. Him being the Bad Guy is fine, and if you like him AS A VILLAIN, and acknowledge all the bad shit he does, then my posts aren't for you. I think he's a very interesting villain, and a lot of the terrible shit he does that I have to keep making posts about make him a good villain, the problem is when the terrible shit the "Bad Guy" does is romanticized and viewed as the reasons why Alina SHOULD have picked him. So, don't assume everyone gets that "hes supposed to be awful". The point my post was making is that Darklina's love to call Mal possessive, but then turn around and act like Darkles literally enslaving her in somehow sexy and romantic. It's fucking not, and it's transparent as hell that y'all romanticize and sexualize the actually possessive character, and then project false character traits onto Mal. It's so transparent, it's almost funny.

But, more importantly, to your second, very wrong point, I wonder how much of the narrative about Mal having "awful character traits and tendencies" is actually a commentary on Mal as a character, or is it just Darklina's lying about things Mal has done and everyone accepting that misinterpretation as canon. Because, if were making a list...

Fuck boy - False! Mal was not a fuck boy! He was an attractive teenager who hooked up with consenting girls his age when he could, and he was not in a relationship during that time. Alina had never told him how she felt, so he is not beholden to her. (Also, nobody seems to have an issue with the fact that Darkles hooked up with Zoya in the show, that doesn't make HIM a fuckboy... interesting) (also also, nobody seems to discuss Darkles literally sexually assaulting Alina, and lying and manipulating her to get her to be physically intimate with him so he can use her... double interesting).

Slut Shames Alina - FALSE! The ever favourite callout line from Darklina's "He's all over you" isn't him slut shaming her. First, he has no idea what their relationship is like at that point, but more importantly, he is making an observation of her status in the little palace and how she has become his tool. He has dressed her up in his colors, made her put on a show for his benefit, and has created a situation where Alina appears to be his. Mal is noting that after months of searching for her, believing she was being hurt, tortured, or worse, when he arrives to save her, she looks like the Darkling's pet. (and, even if he WAS angry because he perceived them to be romantically involved, boy just spent months fighting for his life, lost multiple friends, and almost died to find her, all while coming to the realisation that he was in love with her, and then he shows up, after not hearing from her for months... I'd be pissed as hell too.) Important Note: He even acknowledges that what he said was wrong and tries to apologise, before Alina tells him that he was right. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 286). He also then apologizes, completely unprompted, for what he said. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 297).

Fat Shames Alina - False! This one is particularly laughable to me, because its one of the Darklina arguments that falls apart the second you actually read the scene. They are running for their lives in the forest, and Mal has to hunt and gather to feed them. He is noting that Alina's appetite has increased since he last saw her, and he makes a joke (ya know, how you do with friends) about how it would be easier to keep her fed if she still had her more meager appetite from before. He makes no comment on her weight, or her size, and he is not actually commenting on her appetite in a negative way, he is just acknowledging that it's a lot more work for him now that she eats more. Right before he says the line, the quote even proves that he isn't shaming her or thinking badly of her: "With a bemused expression, he watched as I gobbled down my portion and then sighed, still hungry". He is noting a change in her, and complaining that its made more work for him. If you think thats the same as fat shaming, well... thats a you problem.

Hates Alina's Powers - FALSE!!!! How to begin... do we talk about it was Mal's idea to hunt the stag in S&B, because he knew she needed it to be more powerful so she could stop the darkling? Do we talk about how he vowed to find the firebird for her, even though he was terrified of what all that power would do to her? Do we talk about how he literally died so she could achieve the power she needed to save the world? Or maybe we could talk about how he believed in her power more than anyone else, like when everyone was making bets about her abilities with the Cut and he knew she'd go further and better than anyone else expected her too, or when he tells her that he was never afraid of her powers, only what seeking all that power would do to her (which is literally the theme of the books, that power corrupts and seeking unmatched power can destroy you)? Mal being afraid of what is going to happen to Alina, being protective of her and worrying over her, is not the same as him hating her powers. He exists to help remind Alina of the themes of the story, and to guide her into maintaining her humanity.

Abusive - ... Do I even need to explain this one? Must I deign an explanation as to why this favourite Darklina lie is so fucking stupid, and also totally hypocrisy? No? Because we all know Darkles is actually the abusive one and they're trying to project their own shit onto Mal to further their abuse apologist agenda? Cool. Moving on.

Possessive of Alina - False! Throughout the entire series, Mal is quite literally the opposite of possessive, but yall just cant read. Not only does he quite literally step out of the way and allow Nikolai to court Alina without argument, which is the most direct example of him not being possessive, he also spends two full books believing, and repeatedly saying over and over and over, that they can't be together because he is not good enough for her. Mal believes, fully, that Alina deserves more than him, better than him, because he's just a tracker and a soldier, just a regular man with nothing to offer her but his love and his protection, and she is a Saint and should be a Queen. Possessiveness is the wish to own and control someone, it is literally the opposite of Mal believing that he's not good enough and doing everything he can to ensure that Alina achieves everything and gets everything he believes she is owed. A possessive character would not tell her to tell him to leave because he has nothing he can offer her, no title or land or country or crown. A possessive character would not promise to be the blade in her hand, because he believed he had nothing but the blood he could spill to offer her.

Angry - True! Yeah, omg, you caught us, Mal is ANGRY! Heaven forbid a teenager who is traumatized beyond belief and has to give up everything in his life, his position in the military (he deserted for her), his friends and the job he loved (Mikhail and Dubrov died for him, and he can't be a tracker in the army... because he deserted... for Alina), and, most importantly, he has to give up Alina (she should be Queen, he believes, and he has to give up the future he imagined with the girl he loves, who he was pretty sure loved him back, because she's a saint and queen and he's just a man), and more, is ANGRY. He has to be the one to find the amplifiers that he knows will end up hurting her, because thats what she needs to save the world. He has to sit by while Nikolai treats him like the dirt on his shoe and tries to woo Alina for his own personal gain (because Nikoalai did not love Alina. Maybe he came to care for her, but he proposed and spent all of S&S trying to get her to marry him when it was obvious they were not in love. He straight up says its so that the next King of Ravka can be married to the Sun Summoner. It's a power grab.) and he can't do anything about it. So yeah, Mal is angry. And yeah, sometimes he's even angry at Alina, just like sometimes she's angry at him. But they always find their way back, always apologize and try to be better for each other, and if you think anger is a toxic trait, and not simply a natural human emotion, might I suggest touching some fucking grass?

Idk why you thought I'd stand for Mal slander on my blog, cuz I will not. So, I'm gonna stop there, because I have shit to do today, but I really do wonder how much of Mal's 'toxic' or 'terrible' traits, that make him such a 'bad' love interest for Alina, really comes from Darklina's who refuse to actually read the text critically at all, and instead take everything he does and says out of context to further their agenda that Alina should have ended up as the Darkling's fucking slave forever, because thats the "girl power feminist" ending somehow. Mal supports her, loves her, sacrifices for her at every turn, and does everything he can do, to the point of literally dying for her, to ensure that she can defeat Darkles and save the world. He protects her, and when they end up happy and safe together on the orphange that they've rebuilt to help the children that were victims of Darkles war and genocide, he spends his days bringing her tea and cakes and flowers, kissing her silly under the stairs in the view of all the teachers, and calling her names like beauty, beloved, cherished, my heart for the rest of their ordinary life together, if love can ever be called that.

#Malina #anti darklina #malyen oretsev #mal oretsev #shadow and bone #if yall could just learn to fucking read... i am begging you

[transboykirito]

i love how we all collectively gathered to share our kirisuna brainrot

Mind if I add anything to the cause?

Asuna used to be a Rhythmic gymnast (didn’t you post something about her being a former gymnast?) she’s tall, flexible and quick on her feet. Her best event was ribbon

Kazuto is a fan of shitty indie horror movies that are so niche he’s basically the only one who’s heard of them. “Yeah this movie was made in somebody’s basement.” 99% of the time Asuna isn’t even scared because she’s looking at him with total confusion

They no longer share headphones cause their definitions of ‘nice relaxing music’ vary

Every paycheck Kazuto makes sure to buy Asuna something

Kazuto is a very emotional person so most of the time whenever fights get bad he just breaks down sobbing. That’s the only way he knows how to handle it

(Eating disorder TW for this one)

Both of them have eating disorders. Have you heard how often they fret over each other’s eating issues? During ordinal scale Asuna is constantly reminding him to eat even if he’s alone, at the start of season three she comments on how thin he is, ect. It’s also canon that Asuna’s doctor is concerned about her weight and her eating habits as well.

thank you for coming to my Ted talk

this is the ask about asuna doing gymnastics and i agree with this!! her doing some kind of gymnastics makes sense since she's hella flexible and speedy

sdkjfsjdkfhsdf kazuto's one of those guys thats like "come watch this movie with me it's banned in most countries and has an 8 hour extended cut of the slasher scene" and asuna looks at him like "......... what the fuck happened in your childhood"

they share headphones one time while they study and asuna has classical music and the stereotypical music to study to, then kazuto's songs come on and it's aggressive heavy metal or the most depressing emo music asuna's heard in her entire life <3 me too buddy <3

HE WOULD and asuna would get mad at him for spending money on her so she makes it up to him buy making him nice things to eat

thats literally so sad omg my poor baby - i feel like he goes cold and shuts down until they reach like, a breaking point, and then he starts crying and doesn't know how to process anything

quietly i've always thought maybe asuna makes him food so she can monitor how much he eats while he's recovering from sao but it honestly slipped my mind that that's kinda canon. i actually totally forgot her doctor mentioned her weight too, poor babies :(

#anon #asks #headcanons #kirisuna #eating disorder tw #wheres that post about clowntown 4 dkjfhsdkjfsdf that's kirito

[karanoid]

about top joe discord

LET ME ADDRESS A FEW POINTS:

There has been many fear and anxiety regardless the top!joe discord I made. I understand how it gives my discord a bad reputation. Somebody has kindly reached out to me to ask me addressing several points, which I’m now gonna clarify:

1. I am racist, I asked why, and they said mostly because of my dismissive behavior to people who called me out for drawing yusuf adorned in gold jewelry which made their friends feel unsafe. So, I am a muslim and was raised in a muslim household and community. I am fucking brown.

I didn’t say it because you don’t need to know that about me. What bothers me is how some people feel the need to come to my inbox informing me “maam yusuf is a religious muslim who prays 5 times a day and do all the supplementary prayers all while he drinks alcohol and fuck nicky in the dailies, he wouldnt be wearing gold maam no maam.” as if I didn’t know any better. so please, now don’t do that. If you care so much about the littlest details like wearing gold then you’ll also call out yusuf because he draws living beings and drinks champagne. yes it’s true muslim men are forbidden from wearing gold AND silk but let’s not forget, nothing in the comic and movies imply yusuf has ever been religious. It’s easier to see nicolo as religious because he was a fucking priest. Yusuf was a fucking merchant, it’s easy to see that he’d be less faithful because he would have been travelling and seen many kind of people to broaden his horizons and not contained to a little bubble of hyper religious community. However, let me remind you: whether yusuf AND nicolo are religious or not is entirely UP TO THE AUTHOR/ARTIST. It’s totally fine to make him religious and if you can respect it THATS GREAT, I ALSO LIKE HIM THAT WAY, but please remember it’s not even canon and hey sometimes I just draw things because I like the aesthetics. Also please, do not harass writers for getting a thing or two incorrect, even white people cannot get christianity correct, even between two muslims could be a disagreement whether this fic’s yusuf is problematic or not. I wouldn’t even expect anything more and THAT’S OKAY. Just don’t be an ass to muslims of color in real life and don’t fall into the believe that it’s a religion of violence. you can say that greg made him that way bc he knew nothing better but hey, I have no problem with that. again, it’s fine to make him religious, I’d be delighted but it’s ALSO fine to make him not religious.

2. I think that people only write Top!Nicky out of political correctness. OKAY. I apologize for this. I thought like this because I have accounts telling me that they were pressured into writing top!nicky or they wanted more readerships so I make a BIG assumption. I realized this is only a small part of switch and top!nicky fics and the big bulk of this must be out of genuine care. So yeah, I apologize for thinking that people only write top!nicky out of political correctness. I think writers should be allowed to write whatever they want. Yes this includes top!Nicky. And in whatever kinks they want it. However, this still doesn’t change that the discourses do scare people away from writing top!joe. Write top!nicky however you want, but stop vague-blogging about top!joe. racism isn’t inherent to top!joe and you can always remind people to be mindful with their writings but discouraging people from writing top!joe is not the solution. 

3. Top!joe is racist and people in the discord are racist. Okay, I am gonna touch several aspects why top!joe discord is considered racist: (1) because I don’t like to switch them, therefore I am racist. Sorry that’s not how it works. I have a clear preference and that’s just how I roll. Besides, a lot of people in the discord (including me) think either they switch (because they are 900 yo) or joe just doesn’t like bottoming. I’m not the kind of people who refers to reality for fiction I consume but people who prefer to top or to bottom exist (2) i want to be away from accountability and responsibility. Nope. The reason I made it is because I wanted to gather people with same interest as mine. 

4. I paint Yusuf as aggressive and the whole discord like him being an aggressive top. I think this is the only reason why the discord is seen in a negative light. Because wow what a coincidence that someone vagueblogged my discord at the day I celebrated about Nicky suggesting 20 years and wrote a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry. And beside someone made the WRONG assumption that we are focusing on Joe’s anger and violence (what). Okay, I don’t know how to break this down. But I will try. First, yes I was overjoyed at the news. Because I’m one of the people that do not like feral!nicky headcanon. I liked it at first bc it was funny but then it was twisted into Nicky being cold. So I don’t like it (lol), I still like it though but like I don’t seriously think that way. However, I never liked the idea that Nicky suggested higher than Joe. Because then his character just doesn’t click with me, there was a cognitive dissonance for me because joe clearly says nicky’s heart overflows kindness, you can see nicky as a medic in the credit montage. Also, from their body language and from the way the movie set em up, I think Joe is the one who suggested higher and I am glad to be proven right. Second, I did write a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry at Booker. People agreed with me, so I was not alone. But the reason I wrote that post is not because I wanted to paint yusuf as aggressive, but because I’m tired at people who think Joe shouldn’t display any negative emotions. I think it’s out of character. I do NOT think Joe is aggressive. That is NOT his wholeass personality. If you looked at my tog art tag, never once I portrayed Joe as anything aggressive. If I do, please show me. Third, people are conflating this with my post where I reblogged with a comment that implies aggressive Joe isn’t racism. Okay in this, the context is IN BED. It’s Joe being aggressive in BED. It’s literally BED ROLES AND FANTASY. I don’t even have a particular scenario in my head when I reblogged that, the original post clearly refers to bed roles with manhandling and kinks etc. like, why would you spank someone in public? Lastly, about the discord, NOPE, most people in the discord agree that Joe is either a GENTLE DOM or SERVICE TOP. But in my opinion, if someone likes Joe as an aggressive top (again, bed roles baby) I really don’t think it’s racism. It’s just... projection? 

anyway, back to joe’s emotions, these are posts from a moroccan man (paragraph #7) and a brown woman whose posts I agree with. Let’s be real, people of color are expected to shut up in favor of white people’s fragile feelings.

Now, about racism in fandom. I understand the concern because muslim men are painted as violent and aggressive. You know what I will never forgive those radicals for taking away innocents lives and to leave a lasting damage in how muslims are perceived in the west. However, you have to keep in mind, Joe in the movie is far from being stereotyped. I mean, Gina and Marwan practically greenlit him? Now, you might have concerns that writers are gonna turn him into a walking stereotype which is... okay, I understand that concern. But the solution is to communicate this ‘hey I think you make him too stereotypical in this etc etc’ not “write more top!nicky AND shame top!joe” because again, top!joe is not inherently racist.

also some people mentioned that they hope I recognize racial bias in the ship. dude, that goes without saying, all aspects of your life will be influenced by racial biases. however, this kind of thing is not specific to fandom/shipping. Like I said I’m fucking brown, friends and families with facial features that cater to white expectation are treated better. I did say at the bottom of this post, yeah I did notice why it’s always a brown character who’s always openly mad. And that’s in itself a form of racial bias. Racial biases affect everyone, white or POC, it doesn’t matter. But I got an issue with how people think this is racism. like how convenient, if by falling to racial biases mean you are a racist then what about those white people who created this racial biases in the first place? and I noticed the persons who got the audacity to cry about everything in this fandom is white?? I mean okay, they don’t know what I am, but not everyone is comfortable with sharing their private information like ethnic group, faith, etc. what if they really don’t want to share it? Because like you said, racial bias, whether good or bad will affect me. Now, I don’t know what white people are feeling, I’m not white. However, based on my interactions with them. We’re all just people sharing same interest, it could be they fall into racial biases, but all we shared about are just regular HCs. Even people making a conscious effort to combat racial bias still in essence fall for racial bias. You just cannot escape it.

According to this post, fandom assumes that the bottom is the proxy of writers, I don’t think this is applicable to everyone but let’s just say it’s true and people tend to write about their projection better so I’m gonna assume the racism part comes from the fact that..yeah I do think the bottom usually gets more fleshed out as a result of them being the writers proxy, so somebody posted this in the discord which I agree because yes I do think there’s a lack about yusuf’s background especially when it comes to crusade era:

but since I know most writers aren’t muslims, to me it’s not so much about racism but they simply know nothing about it, and not always out of ignorance either but in this climate, if you get a thing or two wrong you’d get harassed. so *shrugs* I understand the reluctancy. But here’s the thing, this is not about top/bottom issue but because most of the fandom are white so they have more freedom in writing the white character. Anyway, plenty of people have projected themselves into yusuf already, the whole “top/bottom” thing in this fandom is not even a thing. Yes, some writers project on the bottom so if you prefer bottom!joe that’s fine, somebody in the discord is doing a research and it turned out top!joe wasn’t even a CLEAR majority in JULY. So clearly they got their share already?

so please, let’s stop with the vitriol. if people are preferring top!joe it’s clearly because of different preferences. it’s not that deep. it’s the same way with how some people are preferring top!nicky. But we’re being driven out based on a hypothetical scenarios? like what do you want? for us to cease existing??? don’t be ridiculous.

I know people won’t listen to me. So this is my suggestion: LETS JUST IGNORE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE. LET’S ALL JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE. 

#discourse #the old guard #joe x nicky #kaysanova #immortal husbands

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

Emotober Day 6: Insecurity, “We are not having this conversation.” (Otherwise known as some conversations are worst had on a fire escape drunk at three in the morning)

(Otherwise otherwise known as this post I made like a year ago)

Stan should have gotten someone else to deal with this. She knows it after the fact, and the secret, badly hidden part of her that's selfish knew it before the fact too.

Bev was good with Ben, or, at the very least, Ben could never say no to him, which, now that she’s thinking about it, isn’t always ideal in sensitive situations; you don’t usually want to shove the person you want to comfort with the person they’ll intrinsically feel forced to talk to, but at least she’d probably open up.

Or she could have gotten Bill, they all feel better after talking to Bill, she’s Bill. Not that Bill gives particularly good advice, she just makes you feel safe and then later when you’ve already been tricked into feeling better you realize what she said actually didn’t make that much sense.

Or Mike, probably Mike, because Mike is literally always the safest bet for when someone looks sad. Mike always knows what to say in the moment and gives great hugs because she’s got farm muscles (a Bill-Bev-Richie patented title that, unfortunately, has stuck).

Honestly, though, anyone else probably would have been better for this very specific situation, Richie could say the right things when she really tried, and be a masterful distraction when she couldn’t, and when Eddie got gentle it was world rearranging.

But the small, selfish part of Stan that looked out the window and saw Ben Hanscom with her legs dangling off the fire escape, clutching a water bottle like it’s the only thing keeping her tethered, and just looking so goddamn sad, didn’t go get Beverly, or Bill, or Mike, or anyone else, no, she wanted to fix it herself.

(The best bet when someone is upset, for the most part, is Ben Hanscom. But that one feels like a nonstarter.)

The window out to the fire escape is a quarter of a centimeter too big for it’s frame and the lock on top is broken, partially because the landlord had painted over it entirely before they moved in, but mostly because a week after they’d settled Bev and Richie had thought it would be an excellent idea to purchase something called a fruit slingshot from a gag gift website and try it out in the middle of their kitchen. They’d sent a rock hard, incredibly unripe pear directly into the top of their window pane less than two minute into playing with it. (Stan had, in fact, been there and fully within her rights and abilities to stop it, but thats neither here nor there; it had been really stupid but also, admittedly, fucking hilarious.) That's why she’s sure Ben had heard her coming, the window panes scraped on their way up and then banged into place, as aforementioned shitty windows do, but she doesn’t turn around to look at her until Stan has carefully slotted herself across from her.

“Hey,” she says, gently, because this is uncharted territory and she isn’t quite sure how heavily to tread upon it. Ben lets out a huff of air that could have been a laugh, though it’s certainly not Ben’s laugh and Stan would love to know who she stole it from.

Ben leans her forehead against the railing, setting her water bottle down on top of an open notebook Stan hadn’t noticed was there before. It’s one of her graph paper ones, the kind that she keeps extras of in messy, forgotten piles around their apartment because she fills them up too fast with designs and ideas and assignments and then forgets she has more when she goes to the store.

It’s homework.

Ben is out pouting on the fire escape at three in the morning doing fucking homework, which is not helping the part of Stan that is desperate to gather the facts of the situation and then sort them out in her brain until she comes to a logical conclusion and, more importantly, a logical solution. It’s certainly not out of character, but it also is, because Ben usually gets her homework done well ahead of time and she doesn’t even have a ruler or one of her six compasses (she lost the first one, bought a second, found the first one again, and then found an online store that made them with fun patterns the one time they ‘accidentally’ hotboxed in Bev’s room and bought four), she’s clearly just been using the edge of her calculator to draw wonky-straight lines.

“Hey. Why are you up? S’late.” Her voice comes out rougher than normal, which Stan is certain someone like Eddie, whose isn’t the best at social cues but fucking impeccable at vocal ones (a thanks to Sonia goddamn Kaspbrak Stan would like to present like a fuck you) would have fixated on; but Stan isn’t Eddie and thats not how she does things so she bulldozes right over it.

“National Geographic is doing a bird week and, like, it’s mostly been shit like ostriches and penguins, which are great and all, but they were finally doing one about non fucking flightless ones and I—”

“Got distracted?” Ben tilts her head a little, grinning in a halfway crooked way that makes Stan’s whole face, she’s sure, go pink; not because she’s embarrassed, her Losers are notoriously bad at embarrassing her, and even then Ben has literally fucking never embaressed her once in their entire almost-decade of friendship, but because it’s so genuinely Ben.

“Exactly.”

“Mmmm. Birds,” she snorts, dropping her forehead from the railing to bury her face into her hands. Which is kind of odd. Or, at least, Stan thinks it’s kind of odd. Certainly not a very Ben like response.

“Yes. Birds.”

“Fuckin’ birds.” Mhm. Yeah. Incredibly odd.

She takes advantage of Ben’s current bent-over-her-knees, face-in-hands position to look her over for more things that don’t seem to quite line up with the reality Stan is pretty solidly sure she exists under; like one of those ‘find what's wrong with the picture’ games they have in magazines for children.

“Why are you up?” She tries, carefully, after a long considering moment of trying to sort what’s changed from Ben A to make this Ben B.

“Got back from a date, gotta finish shit for… shit,” she twists to glance at her notebook, “Environmental planning. Fucking hate that class.”

Date. Stan tries to remember if she knew that that's where Ben had been tonight, and comes to the consensus that she’d probably been informed but she had work and then, afterwards, National Geographic to watch so she hadn’t really processed it.

It made sense though, when she put the puzzle pieces together;

Bev’s shitty sewing machine had been rattling on, then off, than on, then off, then he did a frustrated lap around the apartment and went back to on, then off—

Bill and Eddie had been irritable enough that Bill was pouting in her room with Virgina Woolf before Stan even came home from work and Eddie was outside in their singular allotted garage spot working on something to do with her car engine.

Mike had made bread with dinner, a dense ass brick of unpleasant wheat and yeast, because she’d gotten too overzealous kneading and beat the shit out of her dough before baking it.

Richie had spent the whole night overcompensating. Without context Stan had pretty much assumed she was the impetus for Bill and Eddie’s self imposed angry exile, but now she’s pretty damn certain she was just the final push.

All of that added up to ‘Ben’s on a date with her fucking boyfriend.’

Becuase everyone hated Ben’s stupid, asshole boyfriend, Stan violently included.

His name was Jason (shitty name), and he was a kind of gross looking guy (one of those chin strap beard douchebags) from her Intro to Art History class (he didn’t even like art, though, he was a fucking business major who needed to fill his arts credit); but that wasn’t why the Losers didn’t like him. The Losers didn’t like him because he was a fucking asshole, and all around lovely, incredible individuals like Bonnie Hanscom do not deserve to be dating assholes.

(The fact that they deserve to be dating people like the Losers goes incredibly unsaid.)

(They’re all thinking it though.)

“Where’d you go?”

“What?”

“On your… date?” Ben patters her free hand on her knee; she’s wearing a pair of jeans Stan knows she doesn’t like, but she wears them when she needs to look good because they make her ass look nice. Not that Stans is paying attention to things like that or anything.

“Oh, there was a party on the other side of campus.”

“How was that?”

“Bad. I don’t know, not like bad, but I didn’t really wanna go.”

“Why’d you go then, could have watched the birds with me,” Stan asks but it's an empty question.

Ben’s always been more of a follower than anything, it’s part of her ‘immediate-die-for-you puppy loyalty’ thing and something the Losers have long since learned they need to look out for because she’ll almost never actually say if she’s uncomfortable with something. She’ll just do it.

Someone who doesn’t care enough to pay attention to things like that wouldn’t have even known she didn’t want to do it at all.

“He wanted to.”

“Mhm.”

Ben and Stan tend to work under a blanket of incredibly comfortable silence when they’re alone together; the two of them have spent their fair share of hours, well before they were roommates, sitting on one of the other’s bedroom floors doing homework or reading in peaceful, pleasant quiet. This is… not that. Something in Stan’s stomach feels too tight for comfort.

“Are you drunk?” She smells drunk, but smelling drunk and smelling like a party are very similar things.

“I mean kinda.” It had been a stupid question; it seems Ben, voluntary DD of the fucking century, doesn’t get drunk unless it’s with her boyfriend.

“Jesus.” She rubs a hand down her face, “At least you’re drinking water.”

“Oh, this is not water,” she giggles a little bit when she says it, like it’s a fucking joke, and Stan’s whole chest goes freezer-burn cold.

“Ben.”

“What.” She whines back with the same intonation.

“Ben. Are you okay?” This is so incredibly out of character, or at least it was before Jason and Stan hated inconsistency just as much as she hates things not making sense; two things that seem to be prevalent themes on the fire escape tonight.

“Ugh.” She flops backwards with enough fervour that the grating rattles around them, “‘m fine, Stanny.”

“I don’t think you are.” She takes the opportunity to wrestle the water bottle out of her hands, throwing it over the railing and watching it bounce off the brick wall of the alleyway across from them. (She figures it’s alright as long as there isn’t a fucking flash fire, which seems unlikely.)

“Hey!” Ben whines, staring forlornly at the wall from under her bottom lashes without really lifting her head, “I was drinking that.”

“Mhm. We’re gonna try this again. What's wrong?”

“Nothing. Not really. I don’t know, he wanted me to drink more so we could go back to his place and I didn’t wanna and so he got pissed and took me home. It’s not a big deal.”

“Does he only… you know, when you're drunk?” They haven’t really discussed things like that, mostly because any discussion about Ben’s boyfriend as a collective ended either desperately awkward or with yelling, but now Stan’s wondering with a certain level of abject terror whether or not they fucking should have.

“No-p-e, this was the first time he’s brought it up. But he was drunk too so it’s fine.”

“No it’s fucking not fine, Ben, what the fuck.” “I mean I can’t really blame him.”

“What the fuck does that mean.”

“I mean,” she huffs out a laugh, tipsy and unamused, “Look at me.”

The terror and the frustration and whatever the fuck is coursing it’s way through Stan’s circulatory system stops, abrupt and frozen stiff in her veins. Something’s shifted in the conversation, this is worse than Ben being tipsy and late on her homework, this is worse in a way Stan can’t even really name.

“What?”

Ben doesn’t even say anything, she just buries her arm over her face and sad-laughs again, like she hasn’t just dropped a whole ass bombshell on Stan’s lap.

“Ben, what the hell does that mean?”

“Can we… can we not have this conversation right now?” She groans, muffled through her sweater sleeve.

“Yeah, no, we’re not fucking dropping what you just said what does that mean?”

“I’m fat.” She drags her arms away from her face, glaring, “Happy?”

“I- no, I’m not happy, I’m confused.” She says, flat where she’s sure she should be gentle, but she’s just so genuinely baffled she can’t manage it. And maybe that’s because Ben is just drunk and not making any sense, but she’s not dropping it yet.

“Oh, come on, don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Act… act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.” Her bottom lip wobbles a little, but she jams her hand up her face roughly and once she drops it her whole expression is smoothed out and sort of angry again.

“I sincerely do not.”

“Fuck off. I’m fat and ugly and it’s fucking obvious.”

“Did he—” She has to stop and take a second to even her breathing, “Did he tell you that you were ugly?”

The thing is, Stan was aware coming into this conversation she fucking hated Ben’s boyfriend, that just the mention of him made her feel the faintest sort of warm and shaky feeling all over; like she was coming down with something. But picturing him having the audacity to look at Ben Hanscom, of all people, and call her ugly has her so fucking pissed she doesn’t even know what to do with her hands; they flex themselves in her lap for a few seconds before reaching back to grab one guardrail at the back of the fire escape, stabalizing her to the spot she’s sitting so she doesn’t hug Ben so hard they topple several hundred feet to the ground or leave Ben all alone, drunk and upset at two in the morning on the fire escape, to go murder her boyfriend.

“He didn’t need to,” Ben snaps, not answering the goddamn question. Stan’s starting to realize she’s good at that.

“You're not ugly, Ben.” It feels empty, like she should be saying more, but she doesn’t know that more, she just knows that Ben Hanscom is not fucking ugly, “And you should break up with your boyfriend.”

Because she should.

“Jesus Christ. We are super not having that conversation right now.”

And maybe she’s right, maybe drunk and upset Ben isn’t the right Ben to be discussing things this important with, but Stan, unfortunately, is secretly one of the most stubborn of her friends. The only person less likely to stop was fucking Eddie.

“If you want me to not bring shit up, stop being so concerning.”

“I’m not being concerning, you’re just not fucking getting it.”

“Then say something that makes sense!”

“I'm trying to!”

“Well try again because this isn’t it!”

“He’s the only person who's ever gonna want to ever date me. There.” She sits up abruptly, and shuffles all the way back against the wall under the window, and for a second Stan’s worried she’s just going to leave; storm through their kitchen and into her shared room with Mike (whose certainly still waiting up for her, and who will certainly try to do what Stan is doing with far more grace, but Stan’s fucked it so she’ll just be ignored), door locked in her face; but she just curls half up over her knees and buries her face in her hands.

For a startling second she looks like twelve year old new kid, Bonnie ‘Please call me Ben but if you don’t want to it’s fine I really don’t care’ Hanscom hiding in the back row of Stan’s eighth grade English class.

(When Ben had first come home from her Intro to Art History class demanding someone tell her what the fuck you wear to a date, Richie had made a shitty joke— as Richie Toziers are wont to do.

��Who’d have guessed Haystack would be the one to score a college boyfriend first?’

Stan doesn’t think she’s ever seen Ben get so immediately angry, face going entirely red as she snapped ‘what the fucks that supposed to mean’ and stormed into her bedroom.

Richie hadn’t meant anything by it, they all knew Richie never meant anything by it, hell, Richie had looked like someone had slapped her for the rest of the night, because no one had ever seen Ben get so tetchy about this kind of shit that it almost felt like they’d entered a parallel universe.

They’d just figured she’d had a bad day, though. Those happen and they didn’t read too much into it. Richie had apologized, Ben had, unnecessarily, apologized, and Bev had very awkwardly helped Ben pick a date outfit.

Now Stan’s starting to think they should have asked more questions.)

“That’s not true.”

Ben scoffs, like she’s joking, and she really doesn’t know how to explain how little humor she’s finding in the world of their fire escape right now.

“It’s not.”

“Sure, whatever, this fucking bit your doing where you pretend you don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about isn’t goddamn funny, Stan, it’s mean.” Her word choice is angry, like she’s crafting sentences that can be best yelled to win an argument, but her voice has fallen out of her, quiet and sad and small. Twelve year old new kid in the back row of English again.

And something clicks.

It’s a something Stan could really have done without having clicked into place, and she has to wonder, just a little bit, why everything seems to go back to fucking Derry, Maine.

Fucking Jason didn’t need to tell Ben that he thought she was ugly. Of course he didn’t. Their entire graduating fucking class already had. Their entire goddamn hometown had made it clear from day one they did not think Ben Hanscom was the type of person who deserved to be in a relationship, they’d just all assumed she didn’t let it get to her, but of course it had.

Derry, Maine had mastered the art of digging its way under your skin well before any of them were born.

But... the Losers have never been a well acclimated part of Derry, that’s why they're all the way across the country right now, that's why they’d built a club-house below the town, and Stan had just assumed Ben knew that they were different.

“Ben you are one of the smartest fucking people I’ve ever met you can’t be this stupid.”

Now, in retrospect Stan really wants to make it clear she didn’t mean to kiss Ben. That wasn’t really the plan.

But when has anything involving the Losers Club ever gone to plan?

“What the fuck.”

“I- sorry. Fuck. I should have asked—”

“That's not funny, Stan. Thats- I- why are you being so fucking awful tonight?” She shoves herself upward into a wobbly standing position, actually going for the window this time but Stan had accidentally closed it behind her; it's a generally unspoken rule that you don’t because it’s almost impossible to open from the outside sober, and Ben’s fingers keep slipping. Privately Stan gives her past self a semi-guilty high five, “You can’t just do that when you don’t mean it.”

“Who says I didn’t mean it? I've wanted to kiss you like that since we were thirteen.” It’s sort of a big confession, one none of the Losers have really been ballsy enough to make even though, honestly, Stan gets the feeling they’ve all been thinking it since high school, to some extent, but it doesn’t come out the way she thinks a love confession is supposed to. Because Stan is getting pissed. Not at Ben, absolutely not at Ben, but at Derry, and at the world, and at Jason, and at the Losers for not noticing sooner that Ben was feeling like this.

“Bullshit.”

“Ben, I don’t do bullshit.” She doesn’t, unless it's for very, very special occasions like getting ten bucks out of Richie for finding her glasses when they’re just on top of her head. This is something Ben knows, and she can see how her logical little brain is trying to backflips to deny it.

“I—” And then she doubles over and vomits on her shoes.

When she un-doubles she’s crying, and there's something earth-shattering in it, because Stan knows she’s drunk, even if part of her forgot until she was stuck staring at Ben vomit dripping between the slats of their fire escape to the one below (Mr. Willis, their downstair’s neighbor and the biggest dick any of them have ever met, is gonna be pissed), but regardless, Ben doesn’t cry.

That’s stupid though, a stupid, silly, idealistic-but-not-really, idea; everyone fucking cries. Stan cries more than she’d like to, and Richie, who bottles all her shit up, always ends up sobbing into Stan’s shoulder eventually. Everyone cries, and now Stan’s stuck wondering where Ben has been going to do it where none of them could see, because she was too stupid to realize.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay—” This is something she generally knows how to do, this is something not Ben-distress specific, this is rubbing the back of someone who just puked and forcing their fucked up window open and grabbing ibuprofen from where they, inexplicably, keep it in the breadbox.

Ben curls herself around the glass over water Stan hands her, rubbing a hand rough enough over her eyes Stan feels the need to catch her wrist and hold it.

“You should get some sleep, we can talk tomorrow when you're less fucked up.” The ‘with everyone’ goes unsaid, because this is the kind of thing that they both know requires a ‘with everyone’ kind of conversation.

“I don’t wanna ever talk about it. It’s embarrassing.”

Stan squeezes her wrist, careful, gentle, and let's go.

“It’s not embarrassing.”

Ben just hums and slams her forehead against the kitchen counter.

“Why’d you kiss me,” She whispers, against the fake-marble, and Stan is secretly grateful they’re not looking at each other. She presses her fingertips into the ridges on the cap of the ibuprofen bottle just hard enough that it stings and tries to think of how to simplify ‘I’m desperately and entirely gone for each and every one of our friends in a way that both defies logic and makes the most sense in the world and you are included in that group of friend’s I’m in love with and hearing you be so mean about yourself genuinely made me want to break something because I think you are incredible and brilliant and sweet and beautiful and the only thing I could think to do was kiss you.’

She settles for: “I don’t know. I wanted to.”

“I think you felt bad for me.”

“Once again, you’re too goddamn smart to be this dumb.”

“I’m drunk,” She states, like an out of place reminder and Stan makes a point to set the painkillers back in the bread box quietly.

“Let's get you in bed, then. We can talk tomorrow.”

She kicks Richie out of their room to share with Mike, she doesn’t totally need to, she trusts Mike to make sure Ben doesn’t choke on her own puke or something, but this is Stan’s problem she’s inserted herself into, she’s going to carry it out.

And, anyway, it’s much more complicated to have to kickstart an awkward conversation about Ben’s deep rooted insecurities out of nowhere than to shoot Richie a look over Ben’s head, and know that she’s going to carry it over to Mike, which will, by tomorrow morning, result in it being carried over to the rest of the Losers, who will be clamoring to have a ‘oh my god, is Ben alright’ conversation because they always are when something is wrong with one of their seven. That's part of why Stan loves them so desperately.

Richie comes back for a second with a balled up armful of Ben’s pajamas, because she’s the kind of perceptive bastard who thinks about things like that, and Stan busies herself changing the sheets on Richie’s crapped out twin while Ben tugs off her party jeans.

She’s gentle guiding Ben under the sheets of her own, only slightly better, twin, folding half the blankets off of her because Ben always gets hot in the middle of the night, but keeping them at the foot of the bed just in case she gets cold tonight.

She’s less gentle maneuvering herself under Richie’s blankets, slamming punches into Richie’s flat-ass pillow to force it into any semblance of a shape with fists she wants to slam into Jason’s dumb ass chin strap for being such a garbage boyfriend and into herself for not noticing what was wrong and into the Welcome To Derry sign on the town line of their hometown they’d driven away from a year and a half ago and never drove towards ever again for being the worst place to grow up ever.

And Stan is angry.

And Stan’s lips still feel kind of buzzy, in a guilty, incredible way, from her frat-party-beer-soured, ill-advised Ben kiss.

She can’t, totally, bring herself to regret it, though.

But that’s all shit to unpack tomorrow, sat in their designated seats in the living room (she’s pinned between Richie and Bill on the couch, Eddie’s got the beanbag, Bev, by choice, is on the floor against the wall, Mike gets the recliner, Ben sits where there is a seat available. Tomorrow, Stan gets a feeling that should be her couch cushion, in the center of everything, she can share the beanbag with Eddie), probably with coffee from a can poured into the same mug as something stupid like red bull because all seven of them make absolutely garbage decisions when they need to have serious conversations.

Tonight she just has to watch Ben, eyebrows scrunched up unconsciously, and lips cracked open a little, drift off to sleep, and try not to dream about the fire escape. (She’s more successful with one of those missions than the other.)

#otherwise otherwise otherwise known as if u mention that its technically day 14 ur Blocked #/j #tw emetophobia #tw unhealthy relationship #tw fatphobia #tw internalized fatphobia #tw alchohol mention #fem ben hanscom #fem stan uris #ben hanscom #stan uris #poly losers club #stanscom #sorry ben love u #emotober2021

[tenshindon]

Different anon but you know what else is genuinely total bs? Yamcha beat that saibaman!! He beat it with barely any scratches!! Sure he pulled out a kamehameha which is seen at times to be a big weapon but he still won easily and was even willing to take on more! Not to mention he's an actual genius since he developed a move thats a literal ball of energy that he freely moves around! piccolo only had a move kinda similar to that after yamcha displayed his! People regard both these fights as his worst moments yet only because they see the outcome and never the progress he actually made! He was literally stronger than Goku and Piccolo when they first fought Raditz, and that may not have even been his full power! Man. Damn you tfs I'll never forgive thy

I have a lot of feelings about the saiyan saga but of course Yamcha’s death is a big part of it for me- that’s a post for another day though entirely. Yamcha’s fight with the saibaman was probably one of the best ways DBZ could have shown one of his biggest weaknesses: his overconfidence. The only thing that prevented him from completely winning the fight was ensuring the saibaman was actually down- but because he was so sure of himself, he was blind sighted and the rest is history. It’s lame that instead of that moment being taken as a point of where yamcha realizes he probably has to change how he thinks from henceforth, it’s just constantly played up for laughs and is cemented in infamy

A thing it feels like everyone forgets is that not only did goku need to sacrifice himself for raditz to be defeated- just narrowly at that, but it was stated that the saibaman were about- if not a tad stronger- than raditz. The fact tien, krillin, and yamcha had relatively no issues whatsoever in clearing them out lends great insight as to how far all of them had come in training, and its a shame that’s forgotten real easily

The spirit ball is a whole new ball park in its own right. In concept, it really is like a tiny spirit bomb: both attacks gather surround ki. It just so happens that due to its size, the spirit ball is more versatile- not to mention yamcha can dictate whenever it explodes once he’s done with it. Not to mention he smacked god with the thing like should champ get points for that.

#long post #snap chats #everything hurts and I’m tired so I’m prob not as articulate and clear headed as I could be 🤧 #but like the saiyan saga as a whole is overlooked in how far tien yamcha and krillin has come in their training #spirit ball sick as fuck I still stand by it being my favorite technique

[koishua]

I am not great at theorizing but I would love to hear about your favorite characters from atla!

oh my, i am SO down for this. let me take a look, okay

i wont rank them or anything bc i love them all, but my top five would be uncle iroh, sokka, toph, suki, and azula.

UNCLE IROH. is the story's source of lesson and of wisdom. he is such an icon and he is loved by all istg he is the best man ever i love him so much i wish i was related to him as a niece like zuko or something. he truly is so wise and kind against all.

he is one of a kind, he was such a gem and held a strong view of what was wrong and what was right. i think people underestimate how great of a bender he is, tho. he was a member of the order of the lotus (eyyy the oldies but goldies gang basically lmao) aka the strongest people ever hello?? he represented the fire nation in that group and my GOd is he an amazing one.

he is different from most, because unlike other firebenders, his skills and abilities aren't directly derived from anger and fury. that's why he isn't as hot headed as regular firebenders and even teaches zuko about this (which works bc zuko is considerably calmer later in the series)

and then there is his legacy. mans beat an entire dragon in a battle of flames?? he breathes fire too so that's always the coolest thing ever and his diligence while working himself back to prepare for war in that prison absolutely took me out omg the way he strategizes??? explains why he was a general. he has a heart of gold unlike any.

SOKKA. now for him, i have the biggest amount of respect and adoration for. let's adress the elephant in the room here. he singlehandedly devised a ginormous plan to defeat am empire that has been raising tyranny for over a century. how fucking awsome can one get?? mr sexy brain amirite?

plus, he was completely skilless the first part of the series and his entire growth just blows me away every single time. sure, he had his little boomerang but that was it. after they created gaang tho, his potential was so fully exploited i cant even express how proud i am oml he was diamond in the rough.

he acted so brash and was the comedic relief character a lot of the times, so his subtle feats of intelligence didn't get noticed a lot, but oml the way i am down bad for him. his determination and desperation to become god at a skill is so enjoyable to watch like,,, the piandao episode where he learns how to wield a sword is one of my favorite episodes of all time!! anyways, this is getting alittle long so lets move on to....

TOPH BEIFONG. listen. lis-ten. thats my girl right there. i was eight when i first watched atla and she was twelve and the amount of confidence she instilled in little-me is just- *sobs* (also i realized that she is literlly the only character in this with an official lastname lmfao)

toph is forever going to remain as THAT icon. her mindset is as stable and stubborn as they go because of her earthbending lmao i love how self-assured she is. she is the definition of born into riches, growing to become greatness.

her heritage is not at all important to who she is as a character and most people even forget that she is insanely wealthy because she never mentions it. but anyway that is beside my point idk why i touched on this aspect. moving on!!

i feel like they portrayed her childish nature so well in this series like?? sure, she was the greatest earthbender of all time and still is, she was also a twelve year old tween lmao she was something else istg

and her sass, humor and just her entire attitude was so solid oml she was THAT bitch and i mean it in the most awed way possible. i can talk about her more but imma keep it short for this post's sake.

SUKI. my idol right here y'all. this is my og feminist queen right here. badass woman i love her so much. embodies courage, hard work and strength in oneself. man, kyoshi warriors are super awesome i literlly do not have any other words about her other than "woah"

obviously, she couldnt bend at all but growing up on kyoshi island, one made by avatar kyoshi herself by literally parting an entire section of land away to carry them back to make an island by spouting out lava hundreds of miles down the ocean floor is just???? but we aren't here to talk about the blood-thirsty woman rn-

she learned how to deal damage on benders who dared to attack their homeland and she is just- just- idk ugh she is so gorgeous too like?? forget about sokka please, come marry me instead i beg you ;-;

suki is so quick to react to danger and doesn't wait for anyone to save the day. she knows what she can do and she does her best to help ;-; im thinking about that once moment when toph fell into the ocean and suki was the first one to dive right in their to save her while everyone else was just literally standing there lmao even katara who could literally bend water

AZULA. now, this is where shit goes down. i lover her as a character that has been developed to show what a bad childhood environment could lead to in children who are particularly cunning and born a little sharper than others.

azula was a threat to all at the age of fifteen. fif-teen. she was a mastermind in countless incredible plans that overtake populations and she is so incredible quick-witted. perfectly evil for the sake of being evil, but also not at the same time.

the azula we last see in the agni kai between her and zuko, her own bilogical older brother whom she had tormented pretty much their entire life, was the product of accumulated trauma and pressure that she had been subject to ever since she had learned bending fire. blue fire.

she had shown from the start that she was gifted and strong and was on a league of her own compared to other kids. all of her childhood was spent garnering the approval of her father and grandfather who were toxic and evil and bad role models for her. anyone who grows up in bad environments are guaranteed to turn out messed up.

her mother preferred the softer zuko than her sadistic daughter and not receiving her mother's affection enough really showed its consequences in the last few episodes where you get to see her breaking down. she hallucinates about her mother and it was so heartbreaking to watch for me as a seventeen year old. i didn't really get the extent of her pschotic breakdown as an eight year old.

for heaven's sake, she was a devil. idk my thought are so scattered rn but i feel like i can make a post about her complicated character later when i gather my thoughts properly bahaha

tldr for azula: gifted child gone horribly wrong

anyhow, this was super fun omg

#“(?)” ⸻ letters from friend. #feyre × 🍂

[ningdungi]

fairy prince!yeonjun

this has been in my draft for so long since CYSM i decided to just post it...lengthy and messy because originally it was just a prompt :D also inspired by she-ra and the princesses of power lol i love that show

pairing: yeonjun x reader (fem)

genre: fantasy, a little angsty

summary: you got captured by yeonjun, the crown prince of the fairy kingdom in the magic forest

choi yeonjun, the crown prince of the fairy kingdom deep in the magic forest

the fairy kingdom has been one of the greatest protectors of the forest for thousands of years, along with other kingdoms in the magic island

the island being covered almost 1/3 by the forest, the fairy kingdom remains one of the biggest and strongest kingdom to ever exist

however, it is also not the friendliest kingdom as it is hidden deep in the forest to protect the ancient magic and stones

the foreign organization exploits the hell out of the island but never get to touch the forest as it is protected by magic and ancient spirit of the ecosystems

the leader of the evil interstellar organization wasn’t so dumb either, they waited for years preparing the best strategy to get what they want: the ancient magic and (said to be) stolen stones to combine with their crazy technology so they can conquer the universe

the leader of the evil interstellar organization wasn’t so dumb either, they waited for years preparing the best strategy to get what they want: the ancient magic and (said to be) stolen stones to combine with their crazy technology so they can conquer the universe

mistaken for a new kingdom, the evil organization is known for their evil sinister king. When rlly he’s just a capitalist asshole that only cares abt money and power... and his precious daughter—or what the locals call—the evil princess, you

he also has a younger son, prince taehyun, your half-brother, who happens to be a genius and good with technologies. But his father wanted him to be a warrior, not some nerd. So he’s never really fond of him :(

one day you grew tired of being seen as a delicate doll that needs protection, you’re a trained warrior that’s always at least on the top 3 in class. Plus you’re older than taehyun so you need to prove yourself to your father if you want to be force captain and to take the throne one day (yes i’ve been watching a lot of she-ra) but your father just couldn’t risk it

one day, the your kingdom poisoned the forest and unlike any previous failed attempt, this time it finally worked

the day the invasion occurred, you sneaked out of the evil kingdom to join the force that your half-brother co-lead... i mean, you have lots of knowledge about the history and ecosystem of the magic forest, thanks to the help of your best friend, healer elf prince!soobin, whose kingdom had been corrupted by your father (but he still hangs around bc they did no harm to the elf kingdom, just taking over the whole region)

i mean, what could possibly go wrong?

well thee answer is: everything

you got captured IMMEDIATELY by the fairies

even better, you’re captured by the fairy prince!yeonjun himself. you were sneaking in the trees under the moon light, in the dark dark forest. and thats how you ended up being strangled by the prince himself and tied up with vines and thorns

you were in an awe the entire time bc you had no idea that the fairy prince would be this beautiful and ethereal. he just looks so... delicate and magical and soft, despite the fact that he almost choked you to death

you’ve just never seen any creature as beautiful as him, all glowing and sparkling softly under the moonlight

the glimmering luxurious pastel dress that he wore fits him perfectly, and the flower crown on his blonde locks made little butterflies fly upon him. His eyes cold but shines brightly, and everywhere he goes, he leaves trails of fairy dust and sparkles

but to your surprise, he’s kinda mean and short tempered. A frown never leaves his soft peachy lips

one look at you and he goes "... and what could the infamous little princess of the evil kingdom be doing in MY land? doing MEAN and EVIL stuff? hm??”

you’ve heard about the fairies not being the most friendly creature but you thhought they were just vicious, not sarcastic and seems angry all the time

and strangely enough, unlike other fairies, he didn’t have wings. And the flower crown on his blonde hair looked more like horns growing out of his head

he grew impatient from your lack of response but he couldn’t kill you yet, he needed you to get back at the evil kingdom

so he brought you to his kingdom—the kingdom’s prison, to be exact. But it’s just a beautiful chamber filled with wild plants and flowers and glowing fireflies underneath the moonlight, you were kinda confused when he said it’s a prison since the concept of prison that you grew up with is practically just a cold dark chamber of torture

“THIS is your PRISON? you sure you’re not taking me on a fairy date just now? to meet your pretty little fairy friends?” you said with a smug on your face, knowing that he wouldnt dare to intentionally hurt you, as he is a creature of natural protector despite his short temper

so you use this opportunity to annoy the hell out of him

“pretty flower crowns you got there” “btw where are your wings? aren’t all fairies supposed to have sparkly translucent wings?” “honestly i thought prisons are supposed to be a little more dark and intimidating you know, not like this pretty fairy garden”

you’d give him headache and the urge to use some forbidden magic curse on you but he didn’t because your corpse wouldn’t do any good

“these are HORNS! and not every fairy have the same physical features, stop stereotyping us! it’s disrespectful” he snapped

you were just complimenting him why is he always so cranky

i mean his horns look so beautiful they could easily be mistaken as a crown...

after gathering some information, you broke out of the prison with the help of the dying forest and weakening magic force

but you didn’t want to return just yet. you needed to gather more information as the forest started to heal

also you’re kinda lost your way back home lol

your father was FURIOUS, he blamed everyone for your abduction. even your little brother got enough beating for that

as days gone by, you feel like you’re getting closer to the secrets of the island, and also the fairy prince

and every encounter with him it’s just consist of a lot of bickering and sword fighting and being angry at each other

one time your faces were far too close to each other it made you let your guards down, but you snapped out of it quickly and proceed to strangle him

for some reason he never try to actually kill you and you never seem to get the right chance to kill him. it’s weird coming from you bc that’s literally what’s you’re trained for, to kill the prince. you still gotta prove yourself, remember?

but you’re getting used to each other’s presence so much that it became amusing for him

“wow (y/n) this is actually a fun date idea. I’m giving it a 4/10. could’ve been a solid 10 if you didn’t try to stab me in the ribs tho :/“ he said in the middle of a sword fight

one day you’re battling in some strange part in the forest, you were spying on him but got caught

but little did you know, it was one of the forest’s sacred sites. It’s filled with the strongest magic and ancient technology and guarded by forces you don’t know yet

you got struck by some ancient magic, resulting in some strange event to happen. which led you to be captured by the fairy prince yeonjun himself, again

you were kinda weak from the struck so most of the time he’s the one guarding you in the prison, keeping an eye on you and limiting your suspicious moves

so all you can do in the meantime is to either insult his annoyingly beautiful prison or annoy the prince himself

he always seems pissed and suspicious for no reason so it’s kinda fun to you

“are you in pain or something? did you get struck by some strange magic too? why are you always so mean and angry?? are you hurting somewhere ??"

“excuse YOU? am i supposed NOT TO ?? maybe i wouldn’t be so mean and angry all the time if the evil kingdom DON’T try to exploit the forest ALL THE TIME, every think of that? does that ring a bell? here's a hint: i’m talking about YOU, princess (y/n)” he’d roll his eyes, angrily walking in circles. kinda mad at his dad for making him guard you

i mean... there should be enough guards in this castle, right?

little did you know, the magic is actually weakening... leaving the royal bloods’ magic the only force that can protect the forest, for now

“for the hundreth time, i am NOT a princess! i’m a fucking warrior, so stop calling me that!” sometimes you get pissed for his sarcastic remarks and his attitudes in general too. also this time you’re not really feeling well after the struck

“whatever you say, my princess” he’d blow flower petals on your face before giving you a smirk, dancing away gracefully as he picks flowers and tuck them into his flower crown... dozens of flowers immediately grows back for every single flower he picks from the ground, what a sight

you’d blush and try to look away. he never used his magic and charms for this type of things, usually it’s just for some silly pranks or weak attempts temporary torture in the battlefield (bc using magic drains his energy quickly)... so why now? was he really using magic or was is it just you?

after so many encounters and chances of being alone together, you sure know how to get on each other’s nerves... and each other’s head

you were there for a couple days, it’s kinda weird that you didn’t try to escape

turned out you were kinda sick, the strange magic struck weakened your senses and abilities. but you didnt want to admit it nor let him know that you’re literally vulnerable right now

you were smart enough to use this opportunity to get close to him, telling lies about how pitiful your life’s been as a princess and how you just want to prove yourself to your father, you don’t even care about conquering the universe

he didn’t buy that at first, not until you told him about how the evil kingdom sees the forest. you’d say your father thinks the fairies are the bad guys bc they stole the stones from the ancestors of your father’s planet thousands of years ago and that they’re just trying to get it back to heal their dying planet

you didn’t lie at that part, it was true... at least for the invaders. that’s how he kinda get surprised he had to tell the fairies’ version of the story

turned out that it’s all just a misunderstanding between the two parties, but unlike yeonjun being the democratic soon-to-be leader that he is, you still want approval

which you can only get by killing the fairy crown prince yeonjun before his coronation

but jokes on you, you kinda have feelings for him too. you didnt even try to kill him when he fell asleep holding you in his arms... you’d always say to yourself that ‘it wasn’t the right time’ to kill him just yet

of course it wasn’t. there never was, and never will be. you love him, dumbass. even the moon shining upon you the two of you could easily tell

he’d start to tell you secrets... secrets of the forest, his ancestors and families, the kingdom, the magic island, everything

you knew the forest is dying, but what you didn’t know is that he never wanted to be king,, he doesn’t feel like he’s qualified to be one. hell, he doesn’t even have wings, and he’s got horns growing out of his head. no fairy king or queen written in history of the magic island to not have wings, ever

“but it’s not required, right? literally nobody said you’ve got to be born with wings in order to be a fairy king. it’s already in your blood, yeonjun.” you would reassure him as you lift his chin so you can clearly see his eyes... all shaky and scared

he’d kiss you and you swore you almost forgot about your personal mission of luring and getting him into your trap

he told you about when he was just a fairy child... other young fairies and forest creatures bullied him for having horns and no wings,, i mean... he’s a fairy after all. it’s actually really natural, it’s just unusual among the immature creatures

one day he ran away way too far out of the forest... to the giant thorned vine bushes that looked like a cavern... it was dark and scary, he’s never seen this part of the island before

he didn’t know that it’s an entrance to the darker side of the island, where your father landed the ship and invaded a whole region of natural resources and innocent creatures, including the elf kingdom

and then he met a little girl, holding a basket full of flowers and wild berries, with a messy flower crown made of wild flowers on her head. she approached him and asked him softly if he’s lost and why is he crying

he was scared at first because she’s dressed like human, but after a while he learned that she’s harmless. he told her he’s scared that one day he’s gonna turn into a monster bc of his growing horns

“horns? i thought these were a crown... a very peculiar one, i must admit. but didn’t you say you’re a prince? a prince is supposed to wear a crown, right?” the little girl said brightly

“here, let me tuck these flowers in between your hairs and horns... now it’s a flower crown! it’s always been a crown, but now you have flowers!” she would jump around happily, which made the little prince smiled a little too

the story kinda shocked you... could it be that...?

no, snap out of it! it’s not even important nor relevant to your current circumstances

but you never thought that the crown that he proudly wore all the time has been... a growing pain for him

speaking of pain, the part of your back that’s got struck by the strange magic the other day keeps hurting you, and that night it started to get worse, two vertical scars started to form, followed by black liquid running down from each one

“you’re hurt! why didn’t you tell me?” he snapped, his voice filled with worries and anger. maybe it’s because of the fact that black blood could only mean one thing... dark magic

he took care of you and looked after you all the time

and yet you’d still tell him lies... and giving him false hopes

“let’s run away, together... to somewhere far, somewhere safe, we can build our own forever...”

#lol sorry english isnt my first language #also this is my first txt au so sorry if its a bit off lol #but fairy prince!yeonjun been on my mind 24/7 ever since they dropped the eternally mv #the thought of it makes me go :((((( #txt scenarios #txt imagines #txt angst #tomorrow x together #ningdungi writes #txt au #alternate universe #fairy prince!yeonjun #choi yeonjun #txt magic au #txt fantasy #txt fanfic #tomorrow x tomorrow #fairy prince au #magic island au #txt fluff #i guess #txt eternally

[thehomierobbstark]

Eat Your Dinner

Requested by @ljstraightnochaser​!!

Pairing: Erik Killmonger x Reader [#TeamErikDon’tDateWhiteChicks]

A/N: Lmaooooo ummmm I???? Don’t know what this is????? Like the warnings are at the bottom but like i don’t even know if this is a thing and if it is whats its called I literally just had a thought and this is the result anyway hi again you guys I got yelled at last time i posted so @l-auteuse​ heres your tag ma’am!! I literally have no explanation for this story but i hope yall enjoy it!!!  Imma go 🙈 in shame now bye.

Warnings: At the bottom 👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿.

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!!  x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The carpet was nice.  

Almost a little too nice, though, you thought as you eye the delicate fabric on the floor. It was a beautiful velvet red faux fur rug that laid underneath the glass dinner table, which gave a nice contrast against the dark hardwood flooring.

Erik was so extra for that.  You never thought you could meet a man who would be too bougie for even your taste, but here he was. Acting high siddity.

You snort at your own mental commentary, rolling your eyes at Erik’s home decor.  It catches the attention of the man in question, whose eyes glance away from the iPad he was holding to regard you.

“Something funny?”

Your face immediately drops from the small smirk it was holding, and you shake your head from side to side.

“Good, thats what I thought.  Now sit there and be quiet like the good girl you’re supposed to be.”  He brings the iPad back in front of his face, swiping the stylus across the screen as he starts typing again.

You whimper a little, lips quivering and poking out more than they already were.  This was the first time in the last 20 minutes he’d acknowledged your presence, but he was still being so cold and mean.  

You didn’t want to lose his attention now that you’d gotten it back, so you desperately scoot forward a little closer, trying to make eye contact again.

You even add a little shine to your eyes, looking up at him as innocently as you could.  

Eyes flicking from the screen, he narrows them at you testingly, and you can feel your metaphorical tail tuck between your legs as you shrink back, gulping and looking back down at the carpet.  

Erik shifts himself in his seat, biting his lip with a muffled groan.  You didn’t know it, but you had the cutest little pout of disappointment and frustration on your face that made him want to fuck the shit out of it.

He loved telling you no just so he could see that adorable look on your face, right before caving in and giving you whatever you wanted. His Precious Pouty Princess.

“Look at me babygirl.”

You eyes quickly spring back up to him, wide and hopeful.

“You want my attention?”

“Mmm-hm!” You hum, nodding your head eagerly.  Erik bites his lip, your wanton desperation making him hard.

“Alright, tell you what babygirl.  You eat all your dinner like a good girl, and Daddy will let you have dessert.  How does that sound?”

You nod your head again, wiggling around excitedly.

Pushing himself away from the table, he leans back in his chair, arching a brow at you with a grin.

“Well? Start eating.”

Taking a deep inhale through your nose, you move your head back, slowly letting Erik’s thick fat dick slide out of your throat.  You try to swallow some of the streams of saliva that trail from your lips as you fully release him, but you can’t, and they split, dripping down both his shaft and your chin.  

Finally able to fill your lungs with breath, you clear your throat, flexing your jaw and feeling around the inside of your mouth with your tongue.  

This was the longest you’d throat trained for him, having been on punishment since you got home for your bad behavior earlier.  Usually it was only 10 or 15 minutes you’d spend on your knees keeping his cock warm in your mouth, but this time it was a whole 45 minutes.

20 minutes for your brattiness, and an extra 5 for every time you talked back on the car ride home.

You don’t know when it happened, but you do know at some point in your punishment you’d lost your voice.

It was pretty safe to say you’d learned your lesson.

Pulling your lips into your mouth with a with a swift lick, you reach forward to pick up his heavy dick, smoothly working your hand up towards the tip.  You flick your wrist gently, careful not to tug too hard at his already soggy foreskin.

Returning your mouth to him, you poke out your tongue and flick at the base of his dick, stiffening it as you draw all the way to the top.  Encompassing the tip between your lips, you generously suck and slurp at his cock, savoring the taste of the salty precum leaking from his slit.  

You swallow it hungrily, twisting your hand and milking him as you spend a few more seconds there bobbing up and down.

Erik’s head falls back, the pupils of his eyes pointed somewhere in the back of his skull as he lets out a throaty groan.

The sound tickles at the nerves of your bud, and you squeeze your legs together to try and keep your own excitement at bay.

Like a vacuum seal, you hollow out your cheeks as you come back up, sucking at him tightly before freeing him from your mouth with a wet slurp.  

You look at his tip,  seeing it so swollen and red with arousal.  It almost looked was if it were crying, silky precum once again leaking out and down the length of his shaft and over your gripping fingers.

Leaning forward, you swipe your tongue over your thumb, cleaning it of the mess.  You peek up at Erik and see him staring down at you with a fierce intensity, desire written all over his face.

Biting your lip, you bring his dick to your lips, poking them out to place a soft kiss to his frenulum.  You keep eye contact as you bend down, sticking out your tongue to lap against the underside of his balls as you swallow them into your mouth.

Erik’s eyelids flutter at the feeling, and he can’t help but to close his eyes and let his head fall back again when you start to suck and massage his sac in your mouth.  

“Fuckkkk meeee.”  He moans, whimpering as you let them fall out of your mouth to make circles with your tongue at the skin of his taint before gobbling them back up.

Unbeknownst to him, all that time you’d spent on your knees with him in your mouth gave you the opportunity to get very creative with your plans of apologizing.  And since you weren’t able to use your voice, you had to make use of your mouth in other ways.

“Shiiiiit,”  He hisses and grips your head as you return your attention to his chocolate bar, pumping and twisting your hand around him vigorously as you chase it with your mouth, salivating around him greedily.

You reach with your other hand to push his shirt up and massage his stomach, loving the feeling of his keloids running across your palm as you rub his abs.

The sloppy degrading noises coming from your mouth wrapping around him made his muscles tense, and he clutches his hand in your hair tighter, making you moan out in delicious pain.

“It’s almost time for dessert babygirl. You ready?”  He can barely say the words in between his own groans, his wide eyes looking down at yours to let you know he’s about to burst.

You give an enthusiastic nod one more time, humming and whimpering sweetly for your treat.

He pulls you off of him all of a sudden, giving you three seconds to gather your breath before shoving you back down, holding your head in place as he fucks up into your mouth rough and quick.  

Your hands struggle to hold onto his thighs for leverage as he uses your mouth like a toy, praising you the entire time.

“Fuck, look at you princess.”

“You look so good with my dick down your throat, you know that?”

“Daddy gonna give you a reward. You did such a good job, I’m so proud of you baby.”

“You gonna swallow all this cum like a good little girl? Huh?”

With four more harsh pumps, he was balls deep down your throat, and you feel the first splash of cum hit the back of your throat.

Immediately swallowing, you nudge your head forward, burying your face into his crotch to get every single inch of him in your mouth.

He continues to shoot spurts of his load into you, and you focus on breathing through your nose, relaxing and opening up your throat as you let all his nut slide down it.

When you finally feel the need to swallow, you slowly come off of him inch by inch, guzzling down every drop of his seed and making sure not to let any of it go to waste.

You were so into finishing your mission you didn’t even realize Erik was whining and twitching, the stimulation of your tongue cleaning up and down his pole getting to be too much for him.

Needing to take back some control, he grips your throat, shoving your dangerous mouth away from him, and he bends down, putting his face in yours.

“Open.”

You smile, opening your mouth wide to show him your clean pink mouth, not a drop of white to found anywhere.  You even lift your tongue up to show him the underside.

He smirks at your cockiness, reaching down to pick you up and plop you into his lap, his mouth immediately attaching to yours.  

He kisses you deeply, exploring your mouth with his tongue in both gratitude and eroticism.  That mouth of yours was the best and worst thing about you, and he loved them both equally.

Finally pulling away from the heated make out session, he rests his forehead against yours, breathing heavy as he lets a lazy smile engulf his lips.

“You did a great job with your food, babygirl, I’m so proud of you.  Now let Daddy put his princess to bed.”

With one arm around your back, he lifts you up in his lap, angling himself before slowly letting you descend onto his soaked meaty member, the sound of your choked moan echoing through the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings: Smut, Cock Warming, Throat Training?? is that a thing? Daddy!Kink

#erik killmonger #erik killmonger x reader #erik killmonger x black!reader #thehomiefics #black panther fandom #black panther fanfiction #bp #uhhh yeah its 12:45 and i have work tomorrow lolol bye yall

[thenextchapterbegins]

a mun rants

so my friend just brought myself attention to “rolescapes” and after a brief look at @rolescape​

I HAVE SOME CONCERNS.

1. you guys dont have a fucking income planned out? maybe this has changed in ur discord but from ur page and guys i want you to really know what they have planned for ideas on how to generate income. 

Ads: Pay to promote your RPH, creator blog, character blog, Instagram art, deviant art, etc and we will feature you!

Ads: For Etsy artists, redbubble artists, critical role, etc.

SPONSORS!!!

Pay to buy points — points can be earned by using the site, or they can be purchased and used to buy promotion space and some types of collectible badges.

Content creators can sell themes, and Rolescape will take a very small percentage

There will be an entire section for cosplayers, who generate a lot of traffic and are an important part of the RPC in their own area. They can advertise.

Community fundraisers — talent show. Every week, we will ask for submissions for the talent show. Talent shows will consist of dramatic readings of stories/fanfiction, acted-out cosplay scenes, impressions, fandom songs, skits, fan art reel, and whatever the community sends in that they can think of. Buy a $1 ticket to the show and receive a one-time access code to enter the page. All money collected goes back into making Rolescape possible and pays for the storage space to host all those gifs of Adelaide Kane.

The bottom 3 are perfectly fine the top 3 are incredibly worrying. 

thats right folks

you can pay to win RP

nothing says like causing descivness in the rping community by allowing rpers with money overtake promotional spots because they can literally pay to promo their blog across the site whilst a poor struggling blog can only watch as they gather no interactions. IM SURE THAT WILL GO WELL.

also as you know rolescapes exists already. its a tabletop rpg website do you wanna hear their response to this. 

While Rolescape is not a trademarked name, we are looking into this further and will post any updates if changes to the name should be made.

Thats right boys and girls they legit went “WELL ITS NOT TRADEMARKED SO IF WE EVER GOT MORE POPULAR THEN THE OTHER SITE I SUPPOSE WE WOULD HAVE TO CHANGE IT.”  Like what the fuck is this?

also

just the cherry on this sundae

“ Made FOR roleplayers, BY roleplayers “

you guys remember this saying

lettme remind you

“DASHCON. a con made for tumble users MADE by tumble users.” and dashcon as u kno, was a great success. 

oop just came across this as i was reading on security concerns.

“We do not have a formal security specialist on board at the moment, but as Rolescape continues to progress and grow, there is room to designate specialists to further our commitment to user security.“

what the fuck is this?

do they have anything planned out? are people donating to a literal empty shell of a website?

so far they have plan for income, no real security in place besides the creator which means nothing because the creator will be too busy with the thousand other things and they need a security head, they have plans to make a hyper-agressive rping community by adding pay to win mechanics. 

also an incredible worry for me is how diverse is the staff making the website. is it truly a website for rpers? even with tumble as it is with its desciveness on characters, aging up muses, you know genderbends, dubious situations from evil muses gaslighting to abuse, etc etc. people all over the spectrum on what they think is ok or not ok of course within legal limits its incredibly worrying for me because a site made by rpers when i dont know these rpers could be a site that could be heavy on “badthought” rping  punishing those that rp what they think isnt ok and yeeting them from the platform or it could truly be an open place for everyone no matter their opinions or styles of rping and i would like to hope they know this going in but so far on their page im not seeing anything that would alleviate this fear.

#ooc #mun things #long post

[noorengels]

reasons i am sad (friendship edition)

in year 4 my best friend invited everyone to her birthday party and not me and they all actually kept it a secret really well they almost pulled it off except she held her party in la plaza which basically is the hangout spot for families in that area i spent all my fridays there playing until midnight bc literally everyone from school would go. so i was walking home with my entire family inc grandparents and uncles and we went through la plaza and there they were! every single one of my friends at her party! apparently her mum didnt let her invite me bc apparently i hit her which i didn’t i hit another girl so her excuse is invalid and its the first time ive been so publicly excluded i cried on a bench.

in year 7 we hated this girl bc she was so fake i genuinely believe she is a psychopath like she has all the symptoms except shes in set 5 maths lol so my friend was like what if i spread a rumour about her and i was like lol do it and she did and for some reason i was blamed??? and lost all of my friends and she bullied me so hard but i didnt realise bc i was “friends” with her bc our mums were friends so shed like walk with me to lessons and talk to me while belittleing me and idk she was just a fucking bitch she made me feel so horrible like it was emotional bullying but also like telling everyone who i liked and saying lmao you literally have no friends “count how many friends you have? omg you literally cant even reach ten can you???” like in front of everyone but then shed also be really nice to me at the same time like idk it was like she was my friend but she bullied me it was so horrible saffa i hate you and the original friend who spread the rumour went on to become her best friend for like 6 years so uh hate that

managed to make friends with people not in my class in year 8! which sucked bc saffa had alienated people in my class so now they all just didnt like me i was the weird girl with no friends because of her and it was so horrible bc id always be forced to join the ready made groups between friends by the teacher  bc i didnt have a group to work with or id get paired with the weird girl like i was only the weird girl after saffa made everyone hate me this girl was weird bc she just is idk 

in year 10 they made a gc without me! i basically created that group tho like i gathered these friends i hade made in different lessons (obviously not in my main class lol) and they literally just??? decided to exclude me for no reason. and then theyd talk about what they talked about in the gc in front of me like “omg remember last night on the gc” isha ur so fucking boring no normal person talks about their gc with the same people again do u have no other conversational points smh

in year 11 it got so bad to the point where once i sat with them and they all just left! like they took their stuff and moved to the table behind me i wanted to cry so bad i did at home i think its the worst one out of all of these because it happened to my face? idk saffa was horrible too but this was just “were leaving” idk like ive never felt as horrible as i did in that moment i cant even describe how im feeling rn reliving it

its okay bc i made friends with my best friend from sciences + history bc our surnames are next to each other so we always sat together! i honestly clung to this girl after that bc i refused to spend a second longer with that other group after 3 years of enduring not even being liked by ur friends so i made friends with her friends which was easy bc yes! 

so by the first term of year 12 i had three friends! in fact one of them was like ur not having a birthday party??? im taking u out to eat so my first birthday event thing in literally years was all thanks to arun i am honestly so grateful for him he didnt even go bc he was busy and we planned it the day before my birthday but it was literally me and two friends eating pizza at zizzis and im crying so much rn but year 12 was when i found people who genuinely cared about me

we established a group of like 8 lol and were planning a holiday for the end of year 13! very skam of us! we had a gc and everything! we were gonna go to spain bc im spanish so i could speak!

this trip was unspoken of in year 13 and i was like lol kinda weird um okay but nope nothing weird about it they just created a chat without me and were still going to spain!!! one of them even sent me screenshots of their airbnb to translate its like u want me to know lol

i did complain to one of them but thats it i was just hurt on my own and coronavirus happened so it got cancelled anyways so i won really

in yr 13 i also got closer to this boy called adam! i remember my friend was like you two would get on so well idk why ur not friends and i was like idk its adam lol do i really want to and yes i did bc he is in fact the isak to my sana! but anyways i hate him but i love him we have that kinda friendship where were alwAYS trying to beat the other one up and honestly the most heart felt goodbye when schools shut was between us both bc at first we were fighting and then he just stopped and his eyes softened and i was like whats wrong with you why arent u punching me and he went come here and we hugged and its like wow despite being a dick ill miss you

anyways so uhhh quarantine we skyped often it was fun and then restrictions were lifted i went to spain and the second i land they all stop talking in the gc????? like im abroad not dead why are u creating a new one??? this gc was agressively spammed so i know for a fact theres another im not stupid

i come back from spain and theyre like can we meet!!! we meet three weeks later and theyr like i missed u so much im so happy uou came i love you and it felt really genuine like they genuinely missed me

two days later i find out through snapchat theyve all gone on holiday together!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of them and just ofc didnt invite me they went to the beach for two days and kept posting about it and im so bitter about it like bro???????? why so secretive????? like i cried so much when i saw bc they still just idk why does every single friendgroup ive ever been in exclude me like i must be the problem theres no other explanation for it i am not the kind of person people want to have around i am so funny but im a bitch and will come for ur ass because i have the inability to lie i have no filter either which i know makes them dislike me i know it does but thats the price you oay for being my friend i just say things as it is becauxe i hate secrets bc secrets are always about excluding me so i rather be honest and upfront but that clearly puts people off bc im too upfront and im not getting a personality transplant im not tryna be boring but im so sick of always being the one on her own

adam was relevant uh hews my only friend rn he checked up on me the other day so cheers adam for making sure im not completely isolated

the funny thing is that all my friends hate adam bc “hes a dick” hes not he just says things how it is were so similar so if they hate adam they hate me and im over being hated lol bye!

i start uni next week and i clearly have no social skills so im not gonna make friends im so scared of being lonely i hate being left out

this went from sad to full on angry like i was crying at some point and now im fuming like im so hot rn my blood pressure isnt doing okay

#my manifesto #sua: extreme #venting #xoxo #no ones had more friendship drama than me i refuse to believe it #this is 1526 words long #shut up ali

[virgilantejustice]

Taking a side

I just really wanted to post something for the three year anniversary, so, here you go!

Word count: approx 850

Warnings: A little tiny bit of shouting and cursing, and i think thats it (:D)

Ship: Loceit (romantic or, just, close platonic)

Yeah, enjoy!! Also, i wrote this in a day from a random idea i had at school, so, yeah.. (Psst, please be nice and leave a comment....)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

After the events of SvS

"What the FUCK Deceit?!"

The side in question spun his leather chair around to see Logan standing on the other side of the room, rubbing his fingers together at his sides, his face set.

"Very eloquent," he quipped dryly.

"I'm serious," Logan snapped, gesturing to his necktie in a motion that Deceit thought was incredibly ironic, but he also thought that it wasn't the best time to mention it. "Why did you move me right to the back?

Suddenly his face fell, and Deceit was taken aback by the tears that he could see gathering in his eyes. He swept across the room and stood in front of the teary logical side, not entirely sure what to do.

What? Logan wasn't the only one bad with emotions!

"We could have worked together," Logan said, in a voice that sounded like it was being held together by a plethora of band-aids.

Deceit reached out a hand, then snatched it back. He didn't have on his gloves, and scales glittered up his fingers. Not ashamed, but wary.

"You're too valuable to be on the other side," he said, raising an eyebrow. "And I wasn't sure which side you would take."

"How flattering," Logan retorted, the snarl in his voice more accustomed to Virgil than him. Deceit could feel his face fall at the sarcasm in his words.

"I thought so," he muttered, trying to sound like he was above it all rather than on the ground, figuratively.

Logan stared at the wall for a moment longer before shaking himself and frowning. "Im logic," he said, and Deceit wondered who he was trying to convince. "Im neutral. I don't take sides."

"I thought that I was the liar here," Deceit sighed.

"What do you mean?"

A sudden flow of anger filled Deceit's veins. "When it comes down to it," he hissed, taking a step forwards towards the startled logical side, "you would choose your little 'family' over me." He clasped his hand together under his chin in a mockery of Patton's oh so adorable gesture as he spat out that poisonous word.

"That's not true," Logan said in a low voice, holding his hands out in front of him which did nothing to sedate the bitter taste in Deceit's mouth.

"And since you love to take things literally," he spat, noting Logan's slight flinch but not caring, "virgil used to be a part of my family," his voice died and turned into more of a whine than he would admit as he remembered that hoodie clad figure sitting on the staircase in the dark sides' commons, loping around, smiling from underneath that black hood, agonising over his eyeshadow, "and you took him." He said onto his bed, looking pointedly at the wall.

Logan sat down next to him and Deceit's heart did not flutter when he put his hand just an inch away from his leg.

"I am sorry." Logan's voice was measured and, well, calming. "That was never my intention."

Deceit didn't turn to look at him. He kept his eyes fixed on the wall and his back towards him.

"I deal with a stropping Virgil all the time," the twinge in Deceit's heart was muted somewhat by the feeling of a hand on his shoulder, "I think I can handle a stropping Deceit."

"I'm not stropping," Deceit said in an admittedly petulant voice, and crossing his arms despite himself.

"Liar," Logan said quietly, and so close that Deceit could feel the warmth of his breath on his neck. "I could be with Patton right now, or with Roman" Logan continued. "Or Virgil" he added in a slightly choked voice. Deceit felt his lips tense into a thin line. "But i'm here."

Deceit remembered Logan's greeting with a small laugh before the weight of it all pulled his lips back into a frown. "To complain at me," he muttered, his shoulders falling a little bit further.

"To be with you."

Deceit spun around to find Logan's face mere inches from his own, and on it, it was a smile. A smile that Deceit wanted to bottle and keep forever, but in the moment he could do nothing but stare.

"Since when did we start talking about me?" he said with a small laugh and no he was not staring at Logan's lips he just happened to notice that he was smiling!

Logan leant away with a chuckle of his own and Deceit could feel the cool air rush back between them. "Since I didn't want to talk about me anymore," he said, staring at his ever-moving hands in his lap.

"You're an idiot," Deceit said, laying his head on Logan's shoulder.

"By that logic, so are you." Logan retorted, leaning into Deceit's chest.

Judging by the way Deceit could feel his cheeks pulling tight in a grin, Logan had a point goddamn it. "Well, I can't argue against logic," he murmured.

"Sssssssuck up," Logan hissed, nudging Deceit's shoulder with his own and grinning back.

"Bitch."

"You know that you love it."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist (tell me if you want to be added or removed):

@celeste-tyrrell @uwillbeefoundtonight @stop-it-anxiety @combine-the-kitchens @soakinforsif @randomavengersquotes

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #fandom #ts fandom #logan sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #patton sanders #e speaks #fanfic #fan fic writing #fan fiction #ts fanfic #fan fic #fiction #my fic #story #writing #fantasy #short story #storytelling #loceit #romantic loceit #platonic loceit

[shhhhyoursister]

Hey what are you favourite davenzi scenes/moments and what are your favourite Matteo scenes/moments? Hope you’re well!

okay okay okay this has been in my inbox for a lil while and i feel like ive been building up to it but im going to watch some clips and gather some thoughts.....i asked @theyellowcurtains to give me a number limit for each and he said 3 so im gonna do 3 of each otherwise id just write a frame by frame analysis of all of season 3 (im so sorry for how long this post is i have so many thoughts all the time)

im gonna start with matteo moments and im gonna list the season/episode/clip just for clarity okay?? okay (im doing matteo moments that dont include david because i have to go off about that later on)

1. s3ep10cl2- okay okay so the morning after clip is perfect in every single way and i could go off about it for years but beyond all of the davenzi stuff there is the moment when matteo leaves davids room and hes wearing the gray sweater, when laura is dancing??? which is also iconic all on its own but im talking specifically about matteo here, so you know he sits down on that stool thing and hes smiling SO big and hes blushin really hard and then laura sees him and they LAUGH??? and then he claps for her???? if i had to pick id absolutely say that that whole sequence is my fave matteo moment and also kind of interesting and makes me think about the fact that matteo is definitely very shy and quiet but he also has that like,, brat confidence?? i could make an entire post about that but ANYWAY yeah that is the fucking best matteo moment hes so cute and nervous but also totally fine being obvious about the fact that him and david fucked which i think is hilarious but i digress and i MUST move on

2. s3ep8cl2- i do have to say that while im not a HUGE fan of the explanation the video he watched gave of like,, what being trans is, im really glad they included this clip?? like its so obvious that matteo wants to talk to david but doesnt really know what to say, and i love that his first instinct was to start looking stuff up?? like if i was into a cis guy and he told me that he didnt really know about trans stuff but he did RESEARCH?? like thats just really sweet and shows that he really fucking loves david already and just wants to be more informed about what hes,, not to say signing up for but i cant think of a better phrase but yall know what i mean ya know??? its just very very sweet of him!!!!!

3. s3ep8cl4- i think people know about my deep love for hans so of course this clip is going to be one of my favorites?? im going to narrow it down a bit though because the part of this clip that hit me the fucking hardest was when hans asks “what do you like about him?” because the way matteo reacts is just?? so sweet?? at first he looks a little unsure but then when hans repeats himself matteo licks his lips and goes “well, i love his smile” like????? is that not the cutest fucking shit?? he literally swoons and collapses back into the chair cause hes probably imagining it and then he goes off about it being “beautiful” with david and im sure hans is trying not to cry?? and hans ending it with “thats the only thing that really matters, everything else is secondary” and matteo going “thats true” and then laughing a little bit?? i feel like that whole thing was a bit of a turning point for matteo and wow i am,,, so emotional about it

oh my god im so sorry im going off but im about to go off more cause,,, im gonna talk about davenzi moments now

1. s3ep10cl1- okay im just gonna start strong even though i feel like everyone talks about this clip i REALLY wanna talk about it because??? the fact that they showed a fucking sex scene between a trans boy and a gay cis boy is still so fucking iconic and legendary?? while this whole season really changed my life, this scene in particular is so.......it just feels so good to see. like its so nice watching that and seeing someone who looks like me ya know?? not that i look like david god i wish i was that lucky but like,, someone wearing a binder?? someone whos body looks more like mine than any other trans rep ive seen?? and seeing that body being portrayed as DESIRABLE??? i think thats one of the things that gets me the most is just how like,, just how much matteo is into david lol it just feels good feels organic but im gonna stop myself here before i talk for 1000 years about a less than 4min long clip lmao

2. s3ep10cl4- okay so this clip really just highlights the cute beginning flirting stages of their relationship?? like matteo doesnt want to host the party but then he sees david and smiles and then hes smiling like a fool when he hands david the beanie back and theyre both just so awkward but obviously crushing?? and he wants to keep talking so of course hes gonna bring up the time they hung out, and he looks a lil shocked after david says “it was cool with you” and then he like,, stutters through inviting him to the party cause hes probably so nervous!!! theyre both just such big losers with such BIG crushes on each other its really just the cutest fucking clip and also kinda shows that david isnt necessarily just this,, cool dude?? hes also a stuttery blushy dork with a crush?? wow wow its just such a good underrated clip WOW

3. s3ep9cl7- okay okay okay okay okay im sure there are like lenghty analyses about this clip already but i dont care because holy FUCK??? something i didnt really notice about it before was once matteo finally goes up to david hes like “are you fucking serious” but then he sees that david is fuckin spiraling so his voice gets softer and he asks him like “hey whats wrong” and its just a really good set up to the conversation?? and its nice to see that despite matteo probably being kinda angry hes mostly just worried about david?? and then matteo just lets david go OFF at him and only talks when hes trying to tell him that it isnt going to be the same as it was last time but then once he sees that david is getting angrier and louder hes like okay how am i going to get him to listen so of course matteo, the quietest boy in the world, yells back!!!! and yeah thats the thing that finally stops david from working himself up!! and matteo realizes that hes gonna need to be a lil loud and pushy to make david listen to him and then he goes back to being soft once david is paying attention to him!!! and then he talks and he says so much, like much more than he usually does at one time, and god GOD the way they did that was jsut so GOOD!!!!! and the fact that matteo, who appears to be either depressed or apathetic like 90% of the season, is the one that says i love you first??? and during such an emotional and important moment like?? like after going off about how david isnt alone and that hes really great and jsut needs to stop hiding himself away LIKE???? guys its jsut so so good its just so good i could talk for years but im gonna cut myself off here

honorable mentions cause i cant shut the fuck UP:

1. when theyre looking at davids sketchbook and david is like “these are private actually all of them are private” and matteo is like “well you already showed them to me it doesnt matter” and then he giggles like damn no question why david had such a huge crush on him immediately hes such a cutie

2. “its not a girl”

3. ill just say the whole cuddle clip?? the tender/feral dichotomy?? absolutely *chefs kiss* just fucking perfect

4. THE FIRST KISS??? also gotta say i noticed something for the first time the other night but matteo SMILES and i hadnt seen it before its right after david says “i bet i can hold my breath longer than you” and then the angle changes and he smiles before holding his breath and it killed me when i saw it whoops

5. final shout out along the same lines as ^^ that one but just?? anytime matteo smiles?? fills me with serotonin. the smile in the final clip right before david runs over to kiss him?? the smiles when hes fuckin around with the boys?? every single lil nervous crushy smile with david??? i could go on but im going to stop this now before i say any more this is already too long

#noggins #davenzi #david schreibner #matteo florenzi #matteo x david #sorry this is so long should i tag it #long reads #just in case #i just have so much to say all the time and this?? this is me holding myself back #i have so many words yall so many words