#that means there are probably going to be barriers to community spaces. that some people might not trust you any longer. if you are

[trans-axolotl2]

In my last residential treatment stay, I did have one psychiatrist who I trusted and had a positive relationship with. Her name was Dr. R, and when I came in on the first day of treatment and told her that I would not take any psych meds and that I had a lot of past psych trauma, she validated me and told me that she would not bring up meds unless I did. Throughout my stay there, she was empathetic, listened to my concerns, helped advocate for me, and generally made me feel heard. At the same time, when management took away our doors-she did nothing. When I needed to get a feeding tube--she lied to me about how long it would be in, and what I needed to do to get it out. She enforced policies about restricting outside breaks, restrictions on items, and contributed to treatment plans that my friends felt were unfair and damaging.

She was a good person and I liked her, but she was choosing to work within a system where she could not control the dozens of things happening there that harmed us every single day. This is what I mean when I say there is no such thing as a good psychiatrist in inpatient units--she was a progressive, validating, nice person --but her very job description made it impossible for a “good provider” to exist. To be a provider who wasn’t a part of the harm that was occurring on that unit, she would have had to quit, because the very requirements of her job required committing ethical violations, restricting peoples autonomy, and perpetrating iatrogenic harm. If she had stopped enforcing harmful policies and challenged her coworkers publically, she probably would have gotten fired. And that really is the problem--causing iatrogenic harm has essentially become a job requirement on inpatient units, and being a “good provider” by the metrics of the system require you to participate in that harm. 

I think Dr. R did a better job than most inpatient psychs in mitigating the harms she participated in, and finding ways to resist shitty systems when possible. I was glad she was there and I think she made my treatment better, but the two of us had a lot of conversations together where she acknowledged the fucked up things happening in the treatment center, acknowledged her role in them, and also stated that she did not have any power to change them. She could not fix the system by working within the system. 

I get a lot of questions by people who are interested in careers in the mental health system, and asking me on whether I think it’s okay for them to work there. My first response is usually if you’re asking because you’re feeling guilty after seeing what psych survivors say, I’m not someone who’s going to give you permission to ignore that guilt. The second thing I usually say is this: you need to go into this job aware with the fact that you will cause people harm, you will get into ethical dilemmas, and there will be times where you will either have to betray your personal values or quit. There isn’t one right answer on how to engage with mental healthcare as a provider, with the reality that until we build up alternative systems of care, the current structures still exist and have people who need support inside of them.  If that’s something that you think you can navigate in a way that lets you create the least harm possible, then that’s something you need to decide for yourself, and to think really deeply about if the reality of the psych system matches up with your goals.

#antipsychiatry #antipsych #mad studies #disability justice #psych ward tw #i think u also need to understand that if u go to school to work professionally in mental health #if u become a psychiatrist or a therapist or a social worker #even if you're one who does it outpatientt. even if you're an abolitionist social worker #that means there are probably going to be barriers to community spaces. that some people might not trust you any longer. if you are #coming into spaces as a professional #part of that decision might be grappling with the fact that even as you gain legitmacy from a societal side. that as u gain #new opportunities for jobs. to work within systems #you might also lose community trust. opportunities within activism spaces. opportunities #to share and be in those spaces as a survivor and patient #and im not saying this as a judgemnt or to put moral value on it #but i think that's just something you Also need to understand and weigh. sure you will gain something. by getting liscenced #but what will you lose? why might people not trust you in community spaces any longer? #what trade offs will you be making and are they worth it to you? what new communities can you build #what matters to you and what are your passions #<- all things i am really grappling with right now as i decide whether or not i want to go get my masters in social work

[drdemonprince]

The article regarding about annoying queer people sparked a by now long forgotten memory.

When I went to my first pride I snuck out secretly and thus was there after the parade. Most people were already some form of drunk or high(didn't know that at the time, I was 15 and naive beyond hope)

That was also the first time I saw puppies ever. In retrospect I must have stared and seemed like one of those annoying "no kink at pride" puriteens. They probably just wanted to allow themselves a small joke but what happened in praxis was, that a grown, white man in only puppy mask and boxers crawled up to me, stood up, started sniffing my breasts and when I started panicking and running away he run after me and everyone else watched and laughed. I think I screamed for help or cryed to please leave me be and was ignored but I can't remember much past the fear.

To them it was probably a small joke but to me it set me back for years. I didn't go to pride in that city ever again and took years to move past "no kink at pride" opinions, an opinion I didn't even have before that.

I felt incredibly isolated and wearing a small rainbow bracelet and cutting my hair took so much bravery. And it earned a lot of backlash too?

So often I see coloured hair and pins as this cutesy cringe thing of no consequence, but for me it resulted in hours upon of arguments and insults. It was worth it, because it helped me built my own identity apart from my families bigotry, but it sure wasn't fun or cutesy. Ultimately it led me to becoming brave enough to actually discover who I am and start making connections with the wider queer community.

Thankfully I had no social media accounts or I would have had some truly stupid arguments.

What I'm saying is, yes young queers can be annoying and it can be tiring to deal with them but being an asshole and vilifying them isn't the solution.

Making fun of teenagers doesn't make yourself more valid and doesn't give you the status of being an old experienced queer.

I'm saying teenagers here but the fun thing about queer people is that we can discover ourselves at any point in time. So it's less teenagers and more people newly discovering themselves as queer.

I get how annoying they can be very well now, doing voluntary work at pride does that.

Do many of those we consider annoying queers hold some harmful opinions? Yeah sure. (The amount of white queers, teens or adults, not dealing with systemic oppression beyond their own is staggering and they more than deserve to be called out. Just to be very clear, when I talk about annoying behaviour I do NOT mean microagressions or discrimination in any way)

But annoying behaviour is not synonymous to that and maybe we should all just start being less mean in public spaces? I get how satisfying it can be to get a hit tweet via a bitchy twitter reply now, but quite honestly I am more ashamed of that now than when I was running around in hoodies and short hair being painfully naive.

Because then I wasn't being mean to anyone. I had some stupid takes sure but no outlet. On twitter I was making fun of people to validate my own queer-ness. (Personally I think I was covering up for the fact that I was afraid the queer people I worked so hard to be part of wouldn't consider me one of their own. So I worked hard to show how I'm not one of "those queers".)

Either way, thanks for reading all this and thank you for sharing the article because it is something I strongly agree with. Just let people be annoying without making fun of them for it. It doesn't need to be a big deal.

Thank you for this wonderful, vulnerable, honest message about your slow path to self-acceptance in the face of a lot of barriers, anon. I'm glad that despite everything you've found your way.

Yeah, I think queer people have many reasons to feel terrified at the rising "no kink at pride" discourse, but sometimes when we lash out at puriteens we sound a bit like the childfree people who say that they hate kids?? Like, we're blaming literal children for an ideology of protecting "The Family" that has been foisted upon us.

I'm guilty of it. I was HAUNTED by the social pressure to get married and pregnant and raise a bunch of kids. It caused me massive dysphoria and didn't jibe with my queer identity. But I rebelled against it for far too long by saying that I hated kids.

It was not the kids' fault! It was the ideological specter of The Family as an institution that isolates and attacks all nonconformity and 'deviant' sexuality! Me being an asshole to children was not gonna set me free, kids were even more disinfranchised than I was!! I don't think I was ever overtly cruel to children, just kind of aloof and freaked out by them, but I definitely *did* say some numbskulled shit to my friends with kids a few times. Completely missing how disempowered mothers (and it was usually mothers) are in society BECAUSE of these same forces .

And I think something similar is going on here. Queer people are tired of having "Family Friendliness" shoved down our throats by corporations and conservatives, and so then we lash out... at young queer people. it's fine to have 18+ areas and events; It's very, very important to me that spaces like Furfest have them. But that's not the same thing as claiming young people have no space in our community as a whole. And I do think we need to erode the barriers between the adult and child worlds in a whole lot of ways, and reorient our attitudes toward nudity, sexuality, roleplaying, etc in public life. but that also doesn't mean a pup should run you out of a pride parade actually fucking sexually harassing you.

It feels great to be able to talk about this stuff! Thanks for your message.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Switching Tips and Info

Hello! We’ve often said here that for our system, switching is involuntary and happens automatically or with the help of our gatekeeper. However, we often get asked here about switching, how it works, how to practice switching, and how to switch for the very first time. In general, we’re probably unequipped to confidently answer these questions. But we’ve decided to put together this post with information we’ve picked up from therapy, research, and learning from other systems. We hope this can help you and your system learn to switch more effortlessly!

Disclaimer: We are not an expert or clinician by any stretch of the word! We are one DID system sharing our experience and information we’ve picked up during our time in treatment and system spaces. This post comes from the perspective of a system with DID, though much of this advice could be potentially useful for all sorts of systems!

What is switching?

Switching is a common occurrence in systems when one headmate swaps places with another in order to perceive and interact with the world. Systems of all sorts can switch, not just those with dissociative disorders like DID or OSDD! Switching can look incredibly different from system to system, and may vary based on a wide variety of factors such as:

System origin

Previous history with switching

Degree of dissociative barriers

Comfort levels with fronting and switching for each headmate

The presence of a system manager or gatekeeper

Safety of the system overall

And more!

Do all systems switch?

No, not every system wants to switch or is capable of switching! Many systems exist with one primary fronter and many headmates who either cofront, are coconscious, or never front to experience the outside world at all. Switching is not a requirement to be a system, and it’s not even a requirement to have a dissociative disorder.

Many systems may find that headmates have switched before without noticing it! Before a system’s “syscovery,” headmates may lose time, experience identity shifts, or interact with other system members without ever realizing that they’re plural. In fact, an overwhelming majority of systems with disorders like DID and OSDD are covert, meaning their switches and other symptoms often go unnoticed by other people or the systems themselves!

How can I switch with my headmates?

We don’t have any surefire way to guarantee switching, as every system is unique and no two systems function in exactly the same way! However, here are some ideas for you and your headmates to try in order to help a switch occur.

1. Open communication

Communicate with as many headmates as you can on a regular basis. Keep an open dialogue, and talk to your headmates about fronting, what that might look like for them, and any worries they have about potentially fronting in the future. Try to address each headmate’s fears and concerns to the best of your ability before expecting them to front. Imagine together what it might look like for other headmates to front. Try to understand what happens to headmates in your system who aren’t fronting: do they enter your system’s headspace/inner world? Do they stop fully existing or enter a sort of stasis? Are they still able to perceive the outside world at all? Having a stable, steady line of communication and an understanding of how your system works can help make it easier to allow other headmates to front when the time comes!

2. Seek out a gatekeeper or system manager

Many, but not all, systems have members whose role is specifically to manage who fronts and control switches. Our own system has a gatekeeper who handles the majority of our switches! If you haven’t already, try to learn whether or not your system already has an established gatekeeper. If you do, establishing a connection with that headmate and communicating with them will be essential for switching in the future.

If your system doesn’t have a gatekeeper/manager, that’s fine! A headmate with this role is not required for system to experience switches. For those who do have them, however, cooperating with managers and gatekeepers can help make switching a smoother, more painless process!

3. Ensure safety

Don’t attempt to switch if your system is not 100% safe, and only try to switch after all headmates involved feel comfortable and secure. NEVER try to force a headmate to switch who doesn’t want to. Respect each other’s boundaries and rights to personal autonomy.

When you’re ready to try and purposefully switch, do so in a safe, comfortable, secluded environment. Try to limit distractions and opportunities for interruptions. Check in with headmates that you have access to, and ensure that everyone feels safe and comfortable before attempting to switch.

For minors, traumagenic systems, and those who currently live with abusers or those who have harmed them: it may be for the best to not attempt to switch until you’re in a situation where you are distanced from those who have caused you harm (be them parents, friends, loved ones, or anyone else). Unfortunately for many systems, this may mean waiting until you have moved out of your family’s home in order to put some space between you and your system’s abusers.

Trying to switch when you’re not 100% sure of your system’s safety could absolutely cause more harm than good! The safety and well-being of your system is more important than providing headmates with opportunities to purposefully switch. There will be plenty of time in your future to learn more about your system and attempt to manage switches! Until then, it’s probably best to allow your system to function in ways that ensure your safety and the safety of your headmates.

4. Use positive triggers

Positive triggers are external stimuli that can help bring certain headmates closer to the front by reminding the system about that headmate and what they enjoy. Having a wide range of positive triggers at your disposal can help make it easier to get a headmate to switch with you! Here are some examples of what positive triggers can look like:

Music for each headmate, including playlists, albums, artists, and songs

Stimboards, moodboards, inspiration boards, and other collections of images that speak out to each headmate

Cooking, preparing, or eating a food, snack, or beverage that a particular headmate enjoys

Engaging with hobbies, media, and activities that a particular headmate is known to like

And more! Get creative with your system and brainstorm different positive triggers you can incorporate into your lives in order to help facilitate switches in the future!

5. Manage expectations

Unfortunately, not all systems are able to switch. Some hosts and other frontstuck headmates may never be able to fully leave the front. Cofronting with another headmate and allowing them to make decisions and treat the body as their own can be a great way to allow other system members to front, even if it’s not a full-fledged “switch.” Switching can look incredibly different for different systems, and even for different headmates in the same system! So don’t be too discouraged if you or your frontstuck members aren’t able to switch out fully - cofronting and being coconscious are both valid ways for other headmates to experience the world.

Where can I learn more about switching?

There’s lots of information out there to help all kinds of systems start learning about or managing switches! Here are some links to websites where you can learn more.

Note: some sites which are geared towards created, spontaneous, or endogenic systems may suggest purposeful dissociation as a way to trigger a switch. While this may be useful for some systems, adding more dissociation to the lives of those already struggling with dissociative disorders is a very bad idea and should be avoided! So if you are diagnosed with a dissociative disorder (DID, OSDD, DPDR, etc.), suspect you may have a dissociative disorder, or suspect your system is trauma-formed, it may be best to avoid following advice from sites aimed towards paromacers, those with thoughtforms, and nontraumagenic systems. For everyone’s convenience, we have starred (*) links to guides which involve purposeful dissociation so systems who already have trouble with dissociation can avoid them! If you’re not sure whether or not your system has dissociation issues, it’s best to PLAY IT SAFE and avoid these kinds of guides. Please use critical thinking and your own discretion when reading about switching online!

Terminology note: some of these sites use “tulpa” language, which is known to be racist and culturally appropriative. Please keep this in mind when browsing these sites. In our personal life, we use “paro/paromancy” language instead to avoid causing further harm to marginalized groups.

Intentional Switching (DID) from DIS-SOS

Switching and Passive Influence from DID-Research.org

*Fuliam’s Guide on how to switch from Tulpa.info*

*Malfael’s Guide to Switching from Tulpanomicon*

Our own resource post for questioning systems has lots of links to resources on dissociative disorders and other forms of plurality, many of which may have sections or advice on switching!

Questions? Comments? Something we missed?

We could write whole books on the many different aspects of switching, and how switches can vary from system to system and headmate to headmate. We’re sorry if we’ve left something out here that you or your system thinks is important! This post didn’t touch on passive influence, rapid switching, physical symptoms of switching, and many other switching-related topics. This is just a general overview with some advice on switching intentionally and voluntarily!

If you have any further questions, feel free to comment on this post or send us an ask and we’d be happy to answer to the best of our ability! We may not have all the answers, but we’re happy to share what we know. If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! Stay well, and have a great day!

#multiplicity #plurality #pluralgang #actuallyplural #long post #dissociative identity disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #partial did #osdd #did #p did #switching #trauma mention #abuse mention

[ggomos-maribat]

Soul-Stitching: The Heir and the Guardian

Masterlist

Chapter 3: to remember and forget | AO3

CW: Panic attack, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of death

If Marinette can put it in simple words, the Justice League's prison doesn't look like a prison at all.  

The neatly-done bed, a queen size perhaps, leans against a large headboard. There's a desk positioned at one corner with a rolling chair tucked into it; at the center sits a sofa set on top of a comfy rug. In the other corner, a narrow door leads to the bathroom. The room is well lit, the palette is quite friendly, and the golden accents speak of lavishness. 

She barely caught onto what the Justice League discussed with the Parisian Government, but suddenly she found herself escorted into the Watchtower. Into space. If he had not already known where she was taken, Adrien would've freaked out.  

Speaking of Adrien, her biggest inconvenience is her lack of direct communication with the others. She trusts that her second-in-command will take care of things while she's gone but if they do get into non-guardian-permitted trips, it's not her problem if they incur more expenses.  

She looks down on the special handcuffs they put on her. Apparently, they are supposed to suppress powers, whether of the meta kind or the magical kind, but as soon as the metal hits her skin, she realizes that the cuffs don't do anything to her. Next, she stares up at the two heroes ordered to escort her. They stare back at her.  

“Um . . .” The shorter one breaks silence, rubbing the back of his head, “You're not actually a bad person, are you?”  

Marinette blinks. “What do you mean?”  

“Are you actually Hawkmoth?”  

“What difference does that make?” She asks. “If I say no, will you let me go?”  

“I—um, no we can't but why didn't you insist that you're innocent?” The masked man asks, “With the right evidence you could've won, but you weren't saying anything. How do you not care about being imprisoned?”  

“I'm not the only one falsely convicted because of the flawed justice system, you know,” says Marinette with practiced nonchalance. “The judge said I'm guilty, so I'm guilty. Nothing I can do about that.”  

“But this is a serious crime. Terrorizing Paris? Causing widespread trauma?” This time, the taller leather jacket-clad one interjects.  

“How is this any different from the situation of the ones wrongfully accused? Does that mean I deserve freedom and they don't?” She tips her head towards the room. “Ironic, how you're imprisoning me, a supposed ‘world threat’, in a luxurious room. If you ask the people in Paris, they'd probably tell you I deserve a death penalty, so this is actually a light punishment.”  

The two seem to have difficulty replying to her words, until the shorter one sighs and tells her, “Still, keep in mind that you still have a chance. The members of the JL are still half-and-half about what to do with you. Some of them want to keep you here under close watch while you're serving your sentence. The others are pretty convinced you didn't do anything—they're having a pretty heated debate right now.”  

“What do you guys think?”  

“I dunno, really. You're weird,” says the tall one.  

“Cool. I'll take that as a compliment.” 

“As a detective, I'm taught to consider every clue first before I act,” says the other. “For now, I still can't say for sure.” 

“Okay, that's reasonable.” She gives a flitting smile. “Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt.”  

She can tell they're feeling awkward based on their expressions and stances. She holds out a cuffed hand. “I'm Marinette, by the way. Nice meeting you both.”  

Marinette nearly laughs at their astonishment. She's aware she's unexpectedly direct even though she's the criminal. The brightly-dressed man steps forward to shake her hand first. “I'm Superboy.”  

And the other tentatively follows: “Nightwing.”  

“Superboy. Nightwing.” She nods, finally stepping into the wide threshold of her room and activating the automatic barrier. “I like you both. Before you go, can I ask when I can eat?”  

The two share a look before Nightwing replies. “Your meals will be delivered at set times. There's some kind of chute over there.” 

“Thanks. See you around?”  

---

Marinette easily falls into a rhythmic routine inside her ‘prison cell’. Though the bed is beyond comfortable, and the meals are filling, she finds that she has nothing to quell her boredom. So instead of walking around aimlessly, she decides to make use of the space to exercise. The other heroes don't seem bothered by this; in fact, in the first two days, rarely anyone stopped by her room. Later on, she wonders if she can request a sketchbook or two.  

Finally, on the third day, she's taken out of her cell, bound into handcuffs again, and brought to what looks like an interrogation room. There is only one occupant—Superman—but the glass panel on one of the walls tells her otherwise.  

She looks up and down at the hero, who gives a polite smile and motions for her to sit. 

“I think you're already aware of the situation you're in?” Superman asks.  

Marinette nods. If unfair treatment and injustice is her current situation then, yes, she is very well aware of that.  

“I know there are things you cannot simply say in court.” His face is grim. “I was there the whole time. But you can tell me, and we'll see what we can do for you. It's safe here.”  

Her eyes stray towards the glass panel, wordlessly saying, ‘Is this what you call safe?’  

“Fine,” Superman sighs, “But can you at least elaborate on why you can't tell us. Is this a binding secret? Will you be harmed if you divulge anything or are there drastic consequences for it?”  

“I'd say a little bit of all three.”  

“Is there anything that will make you talk?”  

She shakes her head. “By keeping silent on the matter, I'm not lying, but I'm not giving the full truth either. I can't tell you because this is what I think is the best course of action to protect you and many other people.”  

“What do you mean?” he presses.  

“You know about what happened to Paris, yes?”  

“Hawkmoth and the akuma attacks . . .”  

“Let's say Ladybug and Chat Noir decided to globally broadcast the existence of miraculi, magical jewels that can grant anyone immense power. What do you think will happen?”  

“It will be chaos. Everyone would be fighting to get a miraculous for themselves.”  

“A perfect example of why knowledge is dangerous.”  

Superman looks like he's thinking it over; she can only predict that he's trying to guess what kind of knowledge she holds, and how far worse it is than the Paris situation.  

“Fine,” he relents, “Can you at least tell us about Hawkmoth's reign?”  

Marinette notes how he said Hawkmoth's reign, which leads her to inwardly ask if he's one of those who believes in her innocence.  

“Why?”  

“What?”  

“Why do I owe you my trauma?” She makes her tone calm but her words impactful. “I've set my expectations for the Justice League, and now I can say that you've gone below it.”  

“What are—”  

“What gives you the right to persecute someone from Paris when you neglected our city when it mattered?” Her eyes narrow slightly. “Much less ask that someone for intel you can't be bothered to find yourself?”  

It's already common knowledge for the Parisians: at one point, the young heroes had called on the JL for aid during Hawkmoth's time, but they were unanswered again and again. It’s just bemusing, how in the most urgent of times, they haven’t responded at all, but when a random girl is convicted of terrorism, suddenly they're all up in their feet.  

The silence in the room is deafening, and Marinette can tell the onlookers outside are speechless as well.  

Superman's voice is painted with deep regret. “I'm sorry. We’re trying to extend our help to the city, even if that doesn't make up for our mistake. We want to do that with you as well, but why do you want to be in prison?”  

Partly, it's because she owes Paris that much. The city never found out who Hawkmoth was, so their anguish was directed at the heroes instead for keeping them in the dark. Then a year later, they find a girl fitting into the profile of their villain. If she's the convenient scapegoat they choose to blame, then so be it.  

“I didn't go here on my own. You guys brought me here,” Marinette says pointedly.  

“That's not what I meant.”  

“You know I can't cooperate even if you try to convince me.” She looks at the window, even if she can only see her reflection. “I think it's best for you to spend your energy elsewhere.”  

---

“That sign is flickering,” Adrien comments with a mouthful of burger in his mouth.  

Eating double-decker burgers in a Batburger parking lot at nearly two in the morning certainly isn't their usual gig. But Adrien gathered from the reliable internet that the Batburgers are a must-try during a Gotham visit, so he decides to hunt for them. Kagami surreptitiously heard about his plans and wanted to tag along, as did Luka. Fei has to join to babysit them.  

“Here, Gami, flip it upside down. The bun will absorb the sauce,” Luka suggests to the girl beside him, who has been attempting to bite down on her burger for a minute already.  

“Seriously, we are being americanized,” quips Fei, who squeezes out some more ketchup on hers.  

“Aw come on, it's a celebration for Adrien,” Luka says, “He did a good job in his defense attorney debut.”  

The boy in question groans, pausing mid-bite to drop down his head on his free hand. “I did so badly! Even when I spent all night reading that textbook on French law and making my cute little badge. She was still proclaimed guilty!”  

“We all know Marinette doesn't mind.” Fei picked up her soda from beside her to let Adrien have a sip. “You could've, you know, told her you'll be representing her. To get the trial running more smoothly.”  

“I had it under control,” the blond insists, “It's just that they brought up the childhood issues card, which is a foul by the way, they basically breached her privacy. I'm still so mad about that!”  

“If I could give my critique, I'd say you should've done a worse number on Rossi,” says Kagami.  

“I couldn't. They would've kicked me out of that trial and disbarred me.”  

“Adrien, you're not a real lawyer in the first place,” Luka reminds him.  

“Whatever. That trial's done and we just have to think about what to do next.” Fei makes a face at the grease on her fingers and furiously rubs them into a napkin. “Marinette's aboard the Watchtower now, so we have to do our work down here—”  

“Marinette's in the Watchtower?!”  

“Yes, Adrien, the JL took her away, remember?”  

“Do you think if I turn myself in for fraud, the JL will take me there too?”  

“Adrien—”  

“What if I say my father's the supervillain, do you think they'll take me? That earns me criminal points, right?”  

Kagami delivers a light slap to his arm. “I thought we agreed that you would not joke about that.”  

Adrien lets out a huff of defeat, focusing back on his burger. Just then a noise sounds out from above them—looking up, he sees that a vigilante has landed on top of the restaurant, partially cloaked by the night. The figure offers a friendly wave, which Fei snorts at.  

“Did we do something?” Adrien whispers as he looks at his friends. “If this is about the camembert stash in our hotel room, I swear to kwamis, it's not me.”  

“What does the infamous Red Robin want with us?” Fei yells up at the stranger.  

“Oh good. You know me.” Red Robin drops down to a ledge, much closer so they can hear him.  

“This is about Marinette, isn't it?” Luka guesses out loud.  

The vigilante nods. “The Justice League is conducting its own investigation for her case. I was hoping to hear from you, since you four are her closest friends.”  

“What's there to hear from us?” Adrien asks. “I already gave my statements to the court.” 

“Before you ask us, we knew nothing about her involvement with the Butterfly miraculous before the whole thing blew up,” Fei supplies firmly.  

Red Robin taps his fingers on his leg. Adrien wishes he can see him better, because he's pretty sure the Gothamite is buzzing with eagerness. Entertainment. “This isn't a formal interrogation so I call your bullshit. You're obviously lying.”  

“Even if we are, you don't have the evidence for that claim.” Adrien licks the sauce that has gathered on his thumb. “The police already asked us. They got nothing from us.”  

“But aren't you concerned that your friend just got thrown into jail?”  

Ah. All the while, they've been munching on fast food in a deserted parking lot. Adrien can tell there's something wrong with that picture. 

Kagami smiles wryly. “Marinette assured us she'll be fine before she was arrested. Unless the Justice League has turned inhumane and is currently torturing her?”  

“No—no, of course not! A handful of the heroes want to prove her innocence, in fact. Don't you want to help out?”  

“Even if we do want to fight for her freedom,” Fei replies, “Are you insinuating that we try to break her out of space prison?”  

And Luka adds, “Marinette's very stubborn if you haven't seen yourself already. We can't help her if she doesn't want to be helped.” 

“Any idea why she's like that?”  

The four of them simultaneously shrug.  

“So your lips are sealed like hers. Got it.” Red Robin sighs. “Why are you in Gotham?”  

“Oh? Did tourists need clearance from the Bats before vacationing in Gotham?” Adrien quips, raising an eyebrow.  

“No, I thought you'll be in Paris. Imagine my surprise tracking you down here.”  

Fei crosses her arms. “Marinette's trial opened up fresh wounds in that city. Of course anyone would want to escape for a short while.”  

“You're not from Paris.”  

“I was close enough to Marinette to understand what it was like. I'm from Shanghai, which Hawkmoth also targeted once, in case you haven't done your research.”  

“You're having a getaway in Gotham, though. Why in Gotham?”  

“Why does that matter?” Adrien rakes a hand through his hair. “If you're concerned about our safety here, don't be. We have experience beating up akumas while half-awake.”  

“Actually we wanted to see what's so great about Gotham that Batman chose to neglect Paris all this time,” says Kagami casually.  

That seems to have struck a nerve. “We didn't know—!”  

“You ignored a city crying for help,” Fei says, “Sorry birdy, but this is a touchy subject if you ask all Parisians. They may have given Marinette to the JL, but everyone still holds a grudge. It's not just us.”  

Later on, they finally chase off the talkative bird, but Adrien has grown quiet. While the burger did lift his mood a little, Red Robin's appearance has soured it again. He angrily sips on the last of Fei's drink (which he promises to replace at another time), leaning against one hand on the pavement.  

“The nerve of them,” he mutters. “Now I don't want to stay in Gotham anymore. Let's go back to base.”  

---

Damian's heart is practically leaping out of his chest. The incidents in Paris and the convicted girl are all the talk in the Wayne manor. At first, he had no mind of looking into it himself until he saw a picture of her.  

Before he knows it, he's suited up, headed towards the Zeta tubes and the Watchtower, breathless but persistent. He knows that face from his dreams. He has memorized that girl in his memories. If there is a chance she's alive after all, he doesn't care how; he just needs to confirm it with his own eyes.  

Finally he's there and he sees her sitting on the foot of the bed. Her blue eyes widen when they meet his, and she presses herself against the wall when he subconsciously opens up the barrier himself. That's when it dawns on Damian that it is her, it's Marie in the flesh, the girl he killed when he was a child. Overwhelmed with the tightness in his chest, he drops on the ground, trembling. 

“Hey, are you okay? What's going on?”  

He feels her presence nearby but her voice seems warped, like he's hearing her underwater. He tries to blink his eyes back into focus, only to be met with a hazy double vision. Hot tears run down the sides of his face; he doesn't notice the hands holding onto his arms.  

“You—you . . .I don't—” he chokes out.  

The voice is closer now. “Stay with me, okay? You're going to be okay. Come on, deep breaths.”  

Damian cannot even control himself, which is such a foreign feeling. His body is wracked with sobs as he holds onto her tightly in the fear she'll disappear before him again. He can't form coherent words, nor stop the shaky cries from his throat. It's as if all the grief he's bottled up in his childhood is coming out all at once.  

She slowly shushes him. “It's okay. I'm going to touch your back now, is that okay?”  

He nods against her shoulder, hearing his heartbeat become less erratic. A small hand presses against his suit and rubs circles on it. He starts to savor the warmth— 

“What are you doing?!”  

He's suddenly separated from that warmth, but he can't register what's happening. He can hear loud yelling and footsteps rushing, and from the corner of his eye, he catches the movement of his father's cape. Damian whimpers, clutching his head.  

“I don't know! He suddenly came in and—”  

I needed to see her! 

“You used magic on him!”  

No, she didn’t harm me. I need to talk to her! 

“No, I did not, he's having a panic attack—”  

Stop, please—the words seem to dissolve on his lips.

“Stay away from my son!”  Damian doesn't know how or when, but he's being carried away from the warmth, from her. His body struggles to break free, but he's forcefully held down. The tears come again, unstoppable as his whole body shakes. 

←Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →

Fun Fact! The idea of Adrien being Marinette's defense lawyer came from a joke between him and Kagami. If you ask Luka, he'll say he had no part in it. They carefully kept the secret from Fei and Marinette until the day of the trial . . . for obvious reasons Taglist: @noisydreamlandkoala

#tw child abuse #tw suicide #maribat fanfic #dc x mlb #mlb x dc #maribat #maribat fic #daminette #marinette dupain cheng x damian wayne #tw blood #ggomoz #maribat damian wayne #maribat marinette dupain cheng #SS:H&G #tw panic attack

[max1461]

Scattered thoughts on "let's have a universal language for the economic benefits".

So like, ok, some object level considerations: languages are not dying out (mostly) in favor of English. Like, English is not naturally becoming a universal language. Languages die out in favor of local majority languages, and there's hundreds of those. I feel pretty confident in saying that the only way to achieve a universal language within a couple of centuries would be some sort of highly authoritarian set of language policies that I think everyone in this discussion is against. So we're not getting a universal language naturally any time soon—in particular, not within the present technological horizon.

I think once we look outside the present technological horizon the issue is probably mostly moot. Like, machine translation is already getting very good. I suspect it will be within my lifetime that the job of real-time interpreters can basically be totally automated, at least outside of particularly high stakes contexts. And maybe in the far future we'll all be a hive mind or some shit, I don't know.

So anyway, I don't think "we're going to get a universal language naturally soon, and that's something that will have large economic benefits" actually stands up very well to scrutiny on the object level. I would bet against this.

Worth noting also that I don't think that at present language barriers are a large source of economic friction in the industrialized world. Like from naive observation that just doesn't seem to be the case. Maybe it is, I don't know. It would be cool if someone had stats on this.

Anyway, I think the large-scale "linguistic homogenization will be really good" thing is probably not likely.

The more thorny issues are local (in both time and space). Being a member of a minority speech community has various economic downsides, and in exchange speakers often report intangible benefits like a sense of pride, a feeling of connection to ancestors, access to works (such as oral or written literature) that are composed in the language, etc.

Obviously I'm a big fan of vague intangible benefits because I'm one of those Gender Havers, and the idea of sacrificing some practical utility in exchange for like, achieving my desired expression is very close to home for me. So I'm always big on defending the value of intangible benefits.

Of course not all members of minority speech communities report intangible benefits. I think this correlates a lot with, you know, ideology, just like gender stuff does. The point is that people have complicated feelings about their relationship with language and you can't always predict what they will be. This is why I compared the ethics of minority language immersion schooling to population ethics questions about ending autism. See that post for elaboration.

Anyway, you could probably predict I was going to say this, but the point I keep coming back to is "languages matter a lot to people, and once they die you can't get them back, so you probably should not throw them away lightly". And when I say that languages matter a lot to people, I don't mean to linguists. I mean like... if you ever listen to someone from a moribund speech community, here in the states at least, the relationship between language and personal identity is something you'll hear about immediately. I've heard some version of "when a people loses their language, they've lost everything" about a thousand times. And like, sure, the concept of identifying with "a people" might not hold much stock for you, but the concept of identifying with a gender doesn't hold much stock for a lot of people. I think it's important to take people's word for the intangible benefits they say they derive from stuff.

So like, I guess the upshot is:

My strong hope is that within my lifetime, redistributive economic policy and the advancement of machine translation will make all ethical debates around language policy absolutely trivial. In the meantime I think it's worth supporting policies that support the existence and continued use of minority languages. Obviously not if it impinges on individual rights—you know, I'm not saying anybody should be forced to speak their parents' language, that's fantastically beside the point.

I'm not just saying this because I'm a linguist and, clearly, find language to have aesthetic value in themselves. Although, you know, I do think that. It's just not the most salient fact here.

#society

[our-aplatonic-experience]

it's half a question n half a vent because am trying to figure out if my experience is aplatonic/in aplatonic spectrum or it has other reasons.

am autistic, have did (dissociative identity disorder) and avpd (avoidant personality disorder). tell this because it's important for this question. (also am semiverbal so sorry for poor grammar and probably poor wording).

am aroace. but have always thought that have platonic attraction. love seeing friendship in media. include friendship (or thing that i mistake as friendship, because of my weird relationships with relationships) in daydreaming. so at first time thought aplatonic is not abt me.

but. before coming to aroace label, thought am definitely alloromantic. then understood that have misunderstood romantic attraction. that people don't exaggerate their feelings in media n verbal descriptions. (know bad thoughts bad to think that someone is exaggerating but was child n thought abt it more like abt metaphors). n other things abt romantic attraction. so understood it's not abt me and came to label aro.

but what abt platonic attraction? am not sure can feel it.

never was good at befriending. all close people came to my life because we were in the same space. n usually they started communication. when i started communication it was because have some common work or interest. have general problem with communication. can't communicate not abt interesting topics n can't communicate without solid purpose. like "need to do this n that with someone so will communicate with them" or "interested in their experience/have shared interest with them so can discuss it". autistic thing. but maybe also aplatonic thing.

have difficulties with being actually emotionally close with someone. have low empathy. but can compass n can support. but usually feel like my vulnerable parts are behind barriers. like keep distance. like there's a barrier between me n them. have a window for communication, but other parts of me are closed. communication doesn't reach me inside. can't explain better. avpd thing n maybe did thing and n partially autistic thing. but maybe also aplatonic thing. have only one person with who am actually open as a whole. n it's abt trust, not abt feelings (but have feelings to him, just not sure what kind of).

can adapt to people leaving fast. mourning a couple of days, but after that feel nothing. like "okay, go on". forget them easily. did thing, but may be aplatonic thing.

have always worried abt being bad friend. because have difficulties with starting n supporting communication, with checking on people, with remembering abt them first. need to be asked to start communicating. or have to push myself. n it's not because don't wanna talk with them or not interested in. may be interested when already am asked. may feel good during all communication. just don't feel an impulse to start it. if know they are okay, may not communicate for really long time. autistic thing, but may be also aplatonic thing.

have always known that any kind of relationship for me will be less important than work. work may mean job, activism, n so on. may mean special interests. can live without close relationships n with little-to-no personal communication n be happy. but can't live without work. without doing morally important things for me. autistic thing, but may be also aplatonic thing.

definitely feel love. the reason why thought can't be aro and why doubt in aplatonic label. (not mean aplatonics can't feel love. talk abt myself only. am trying to figure our my own feelings. am not trying to police others' feelings).

but what kind of love it is? my love is big n includes a lot of things. love the universe. love chemistry. have cried because of plank's constant physical meaning. have cried because of how world is meaningful n beautiful in its meaningfulness. love logics. love words. really really love words because they are so meaningful. love understand things. love activism. love when someone is good. love that world is built to be good. love love love it all. and love people. because are also built to be good. because are so meaningful. because have done so many great things. because are so unimaginable. hard to explain, don't have better words. and love close people in somehow same way. because they are so adorable. because they are so complicated n so meaningful n so good n so great. like reflection of all beautifullness of the world.

love to them isn't unique for me. so it may be aplatonic thing. but may be autistic thing or just me being weird thing.

but close people are special to me. but is it in a platonic way? when become closer with someone, don't feel something special until reach some point. don't feel specific attraction. communicate abt our common themes. support when they need. may be interested in topics of our communication, but don't feel something special to them. n after some point, when start communicate more frequently, start to feel responsibility. like they are a part of my life. not random strangers. care abt them n their life. feel protectiveness to them personally. can't explain better. at this point used to consider people friends (ask them to be friends, yes i do this).

n there's another point after that one. when start to wanna invite people in my home. usually ask them to be in relationships (used to call these relationships queerplatonic). it's abt trust n abt influence (their influence on my life) n abt responsibility n protectiveness. so can reproduce "standart relationships forming" model: strangers – acquaintances – friends – partners. but in some non-standart way?

also need to mention that feel sensual attraction. n use it as indicator of getting closer.

when think abt it, understand that for me friendship is like alliance? like in adventure stories. a team of heroes who support one another and move together through the plot? it's like i see all of it friendship concept. they are my allies, my team, people who i care abt and who am responsible for. have strong feelings to them. but not sure these feelings look like platonic attraction.

my favorite form of interaction is when there's a small group of my close people who talk one another n me sitting with them, listening n sometimes comment or infodump. that's why like polyamorous relationships. (know every polyamorous relationships are different n they don't have to look this way. talk abt my experience n my wishes). always introduce my partners to each other n love when they become closer. don't push them, just look n hope. no enforcement. autistic thing (need support for communication) n avpd thing, but also may be aplatonic thing.

am not sure how to consider my feelings n relationships. am not sure why feel n act this way. am not sure if it's normal alloplatonic experience, normal alloplatonic neurodivergent experience, or aplatonic experience. don't know standards.

also fakeclaim myself. think that maybe am just trying to pick up new (for me) identity, just wanna be quirky, just overthinking n so on. but it happens with every identity n every diagnosis (including official ones). (don't mean self-diagnosis isn't valid just showing the depth of my denial because for me personally official diagnosis feels like approval. a big one. n i still can doubt n deny). (any fakeclaiming thoughts are directed only to me. i would never doubt someone's identity except mine. i would never think this way abt anyone except me. you all are valid n your all identities, including aplatonic one, are absolutely valid n i feel it as strong as possible).

thank you for reading this for so long. sorry if it was inconvenient. also thank you for this blog n thank you for sharing info n helping people to discover themselves n for being so cool.

.

#aplatonic #aspec #apples

[soul-dwelling]

Best place to read the English translation of Soul Eater online? I’ve been warned that online translations are incomplete, out of order, or generally bad…

Short version before I rant:

If you're reading online, buy the Yen Press translations; if you have the money and want more accuracy and are fine not reading online and instead with a hard copy, I guess you have to buy the Square Enix "Perfect Edition" (although fuck Square for not having an ebook version); I'm not going to link to scanlations here.

Now, the long rant:

I'm not up for sharing scanlation sites and unofficial translations, even as I think they are necessary in manga distribution and discourse.

Nothing against scanlators, who do and have done important work, especially for works that never get licensed in other languages. But I tend to have more confidence in the translations coming from Square Enix working with Yen Press or other North American distributors, rather than fans who are not in communication with the original creators to make sure intended meaning is retained as closely as possible across different languages.

A scanlation gets you by in between the leak of a chapter in Japan and the official translation that comes out within a few days or at worst months; a scanlation is not a good substitute for an official translation.

(And that's not ignoring that some scanlations can get it more accurate than the official source, or that a scanlation works as an alternate translation that may bring out additional meaning that the official translation failed to.)

2. Get the Yen Press versions if you are reading online.

The best place for reading online is from the publishers themselves, such as the Yen Press translation that you can get from Yen Press as an ebook or on the Manga Up app.

(Granted, Manga Up does the stupid black censor bars: look, I rant against the shitty fanservice in Soul Eater, but blacking it out and acting like it's not there is also stupid.)

The problem is that the Yen Press translation feels outdated, not only due to the more recent translation by Square Enix (more on that in a moment), but because the Square Enix translation updates Crona's pronouns.

3. What the fuck is wrong with Square Enix?

And that leads to my rant:

I have not picked up the Square Enix "Perfect Edition." And I appreciate that they have updated art, updated translation, etc. But there is such an accessibility / price barrier there: it's probably going to be more than $300 to read the updated translation because it's only a hardcover edition, no ebook version available.

What kind of bullshit is this? I know buying the Yen Press versions as ebooks is also an investment, but at least I can have those as ebooks and not pay more than $300. With the "Perfect Edition," I now have to clear bookshelf space. I get it, it's a better print, it has the color artwork--that's all fine. But what if I don't want another physical book taking up space?

Maybe Square Enix will eventually release these in ebook format, or maybe I just haven't seen that announcement yet. But it is galling that the only way you can get the updated translation is by purchasing the hardcovers only.

Hey, Square Enix? People wouldn't be asking about online translations if you actually made the newly translated books available online and affordable (or even free temporarily on Manga Up--with the updated Crona pronouns and no stupid black bars) instead of charging an Elric limb for them. Viz may have too much of a monopoly on publishing, but they aren't charging this much. Yen Press has managed to make some simul-published chapters affordable as ebooks. Why is an updated translation of Soul Eater priced so high?

#soul eater

[flightofthedragon]

1899 theories at 3 am

Just have to ramble about some 1899 observations/ theories.

So first off, they’re obviously still in a simulation at the end of the show, when we see Maura wake up on the spaceship:

She wakes up on the same date she wakes up on the steamship: 19th October, just precisely 100 years later.

The simulation is also pretty much the same one as the one in 1899: namely, you have a group of people on a ship, crossing a wide unexplored darkness to reach a new world. It’s just in space this time. It’s just another immigrant ship.

There are more people on the spaceship than the Kerberos, BUT the captain says the Kerberos isn’t fully occupied. I’m guessing that means there are people who are already in the spaceship level of the simulation, who never went deeper (or got trapped) in the Kerberos simulation.

Several people are already dead and only live in the simulation.

Elliot is almost certainly one of them, as the show pretty much tells us Maura created this whole place for him. But I don’t think he’s the only one.

I’m almost certain Daniel is dead in the real world as well, BUT I think he started out alive. As in, he entered the simulation and his body died *somehow* while he was in the simulation and now his consciousness lives on in there. He pretty much warns Maura for this possibility, when he is trying to convince her to try and wake up from the simulation: he says she has to or there will be nothing for her to go back to. I’m presuming he knows that something or someone is endangering her body. Interestingly, when Daniel warns her, he says ‘you’ will have nothing to go back to, not ‘we’, he’s not including himself. Probably because he knows it’s too late for him. We also have the way he answers Maura’s question of if he will be there when she wakes up. He says ‘always’, in the same way people say they’ll always be with their loved ones once they pass.

There might be more people who just exist in the simulation.

Ciaran, Maura’s brother is probably an AI she developed.

Her remembering ‘losing her brother’ is probably him escaping her control. He’s in control of the simulation, according to her father. Maura’s instinct to find her brother is her trying to find him to regain control over him and the simulation.

I’m thinking Maura developed Ciaran to be in charge of the simulation, under her instruction, but somehow he broke free from her control. I think when Maura’s father tells her Ciaran is the last person she should be worried about right now, it isn’t because he’s safely in the real world, or not worth her empathy, but because he is an AI.

The whole setup of the Kerberos simulation is to stop the people in it from finding out what is going on.

The simulation only runs for 8 days, that’s not a lot of time to figure out what is happening before having your memory wiped again. The passengers have been disadvantaged at every point to prevent them from figuring things out.

First off, they’ve all been put in a simulation set in a time where they have none of the fundamental knowledge needed to figure out that they’re in a simulation. They don’t even have knowledge of computers, never mind the possibility of simulated realities.

On top of that, they’re all set on an immigrant ship where there are huge language barriers. I think the origin of the characters are probably true to reality (i.e. they’re really from the countries they come from in the simulation), but they probably all speak a common language in the real world. (Think about it, they’re all in a simulation they most likely signed up for, and this takes place in the far future, it makes sense they share a language or at least have an easy way of communicating across language barriers.) They’ve been made to forget this in the simulation to prevent cooperation as much as possible.

In that same vein, the original bonds between the characters have been obscured to them. Most people on the ship gravitate towards people they don’t start the journey with. For example: Olek and Ling Yi, Jérome and Clémence and Eyk and Maura. This is again probably done to make them figuring out what is happening that much harder, by isolating them from each other. This means they have to reforge this connections before they can even start working together to figure things out.

And than we have the mysterious letters. We know Maura’s letter tells her not to trust anyone and that is partly the reason why she is so distant with Eyk at first. If she had trusted him from the start, like she later does, they could’ve gotten a lot further in figuring things out. Maybe everyone’s letter said something similar? To make forging bonds that much harder.

Maura’s father has (maybe limited) control over the Kerberos level of the simulation, but not the spaceship level of the simulation.

I think this level of the simulation might be a part of the simulation he’s managed to wrestle out of Ciaran’s control. And he is the one keeping the passengers ignorant, and especially hindering Maura’s ability to find out what is happening, to find the key to escape the simulation. I don’t think Maura’s father realises the key won’t take him out of the simulation, but rather just out of his dominion. Ciaran might have changed the key to stop it from waking its user up, and instead just trapping it in another level. Similar to how Daniel changed the object that was the key to prevent Maura’s father from using it. Daniel also doesn’t seem to know this, or I assume he would’ve warned Maura.

The key was probably the ‘emergency brake’ Maura built into the simulation in case she needed to be able to leave it when the normal way wouldn’t work.I think the normal way of waking up would involve the caretaker AI - Ciaran - to wake the user up, but as he’s not playing ball, she needs the emergency exit. Maura doesn’t know this exit even exists, because she doesn’t remember, but Daniel knows it exists and that it will be closely tied to Maura. Which I’m guessing is how she programmed it.

Maura’s memory of her father building the hospital is actually her memory of her building the original simulation.

What is this simulation? Something Maura built to have Elliot live on in. But why are all these other people here?

What if the reality is that what is now the simulation, started as a simpler place, a place where Maura could find a way to figure out the human brain and how to fix it. Her memory of her father building the hospital after her mother’s illness to find a way to understand the human mind, was really just a distorted memory of HER building the simulation as a way to understand the human mind.

Maybe Elliot was dying from something in his brain. And Maura built the original simulation to try and find a way to fix it. (Maybe that’s why Lucien volunteered.) Maybe it only evolved into a simulation you can live in, when it became clear to Maura that she couldn’t save Elliot. So she created a world for him to live on in. Maybe after his death it became a new experiment, one where Maura tried to find a cure for grief or trauma. And that’s why everyone in the simulation has such heavy backstories. Their memories are all distorted, but rooted in real trauma (we’ve already been told that some memories cannot be truly erased because they are an ingrained part of someone.) This is why the passengers and crew we see entered the simulation in the first place.

Then at some point Ciaran - the AI Maura created to run the place so she could forget the truth of her own situation - took over and effectively trapped everyone in the simulation inside.

Ramble over, just had to stop bothering SO with my theories ;)

#obviously tell me if you have anything to add or if you think i'm completely wrong lol #1899 #1899 theories #maura franklin #1899 netflix

[kirkegaardpeters31]

Doing the landscaping on your home can seem like a menial task that no one else will ever appreciate more than you. The issue is, that the landscaping on your home will affect how your neighbors, passersby, guests and even, potential buyers view your home. It says a lot about the condition and care that the home has received. Use this article to make sure that you are showing off, just how much you care for your home.Do not settle for a cheap design such as a patio or a deck if you are not going to use it. It might be worth it to pay a professional designer to help you create the kind of space and design you will use and enjoy throughout different seasons.<br/><br/>You do not have to hire a professional to design your landscape for you, but it might be worth your time and money to quickly meet with an architect. You will get a better idea of how much your project will cost and perhaps avoid mistakes that would end up costing you money.<br/><br/>Think about whether or not you need to have a design for your project. It might cost less money to create a deck that is in a rectangular shape, but if you do not like the end result, you probably won't use the space. Spending a bit of money to hire a designer could help you get exactly what you want.<br/><br/>Landscaping is more than just planting flowers, grasses and trees. Landscaping also incorporates decorative elements like benches or garden structures. Use decks, archways and pergolas to create attractive looks that are complex, beautiful and visually interesting. You can purchase these things in many different price ranges to accommodate your budget.<br/><br/>Contrary to what most people believe, it isn't necessary to have a designer or landscaper do your landscape. You will probably end up paying far more than necessary, especially if you are capable of doing the labor yourself. However, it can never hurt to speak with landscaper who can set you in the right direction as far as what you should do.<br/><br/>Think about the existing structures around the landscaping project before starting on it. Check out where your gutters, cables, air conditioning units, and things of that sort are located; you want to make sure you don't interfere with where they're at. Check with your city or county prior to digging so that you know you won't be damaging any underground lines.<br/><br/>Consider growing a hedge or bamboo plants to add privacy to your hard. Bamboo is a hardy grass, and it grows very quickly. It can add a lot of beauty to your property, and also give you a privacy barrier from neighbors or noisy streets. Just be cautious when growing bamboo as it does grow very quickly, meaning you will have to prune it regularly to keep it from becoming over grown.<br/><br/>Whenever you are landscaping yourself, it is important to include things other than plant life in your landscape. Things like decorative stones, bird baths, and lighting can really enhance the look of your landscape. Make sure you don't make your space too crowded, by adding to many extras.<br/><br/>Always use odd numbers of plant groupings. <a href="https://opencbc.com/home.php?mod=space&uid=2028034">deck lights nz</a> is more pleasing to the eye and more natural looking to see groups of 3, 5 or 7 plants than groups of 2, 4 or 6. Aim for plantings that are more triangle-shaped than square-shaped, and your landscaping will have more eye appeal.<br/><br/>Create a softer look in your yard with curved borders. Curves are more visually appealing and can add interest and depth to your yard. The curved landscape borders offer a nice complement to the rigidity of the sides of your driveway and house.<br/><br/>If you are a pet owner, and you will be using chemicals to take care of your landscaping needs, be aware of which products you are using. Many of these chemical can make your pet sick, and some could even kill them. If you are unsure of which products are safe, ask the store in which you are purchasing them.<br/><br/>You know what you want people to think about you and your home, but sometimes, that is hard to communicate the way you want to. By using landscaping, you can show the world just how much pride you take in your home and how well you care for it. This article has shown you lots of great ways to make sure this happens.

[lauridsenibsen49]

Doing the landscaping on your home can seem like a menial task that no one else will ever appreciate more than you. The issue is, that the landscaping on your home will affect how your neighbors, passersby, guests and even, potential buyers view your home. It says a lot about the condition and care that the home has received. Use this article to make sure that you are showing off, just how much you care for your home.

Do not settle for a cheap design such as a patio or a deck if you are not going to use it. It might be worth it to pay a professional designer to help you create the kind of space and design you will use and enjoy throughout different seasons. You do not have to hire a professional to design your landscape for you, but it might be worth your time and money to quickly meet with an architect. You will get a better idea of how much your project will cost and perhaps avoid mistakes that would end up costing you money. Think about whether or not you need to have a design for your project. It might cost less money to create a deck that is in a rectangular shape, but if you do not like the end result, you probably won't use the space. Spending a bit of money to hire a designer could help you get exactly what you want. Landscaping is more than just planting flowers, grasses and trees. Landscaping also incorporates decorative elements like benches or garden structures. Use decks, archways and pergolas to create attractive looks that are complex, beautiful and visually interesting. You can purchase these things in many different price ranges to accommodate your budget. Contrary to what most people believe, it isn't necessary to have a designer or landscaper do your landscape. You will probably end up paying far more than necessary, especially if you are capable of doing the labor yourself. However, it can never hurt to speak with landscaper who can set you in the right direction as far as what you should do. Think about the existing structures around the landscaping project before starting on it. Check out where your gutters, cables, air conditioning units, and things of that sort are located; you want to make sure you don't interfere with where they're at. Check with your city or county prior to digging so that you know you won't be damaging any underground lines. Consider growing a hedge or bamboo plants to add privacy to your hard. Bamboo is a hardy grass, and it grows very quickly. It can add a lot of beauty to your property, and also give you a privacy barrier from neighbors or noisy streets. Just be cautious when growing bamboo as it does grow very quickly, meaning you will have to prune it regularly to keep it from becoming over grown. Whenever outdoor security lights nz are landscaping yourself, it is important to include things other than plant life in your landscape. Things like decorative stones, bird baths, and lighting can really enhance the look of your landscape. Make sure you don't make your space too crowded, by adding to many extras. Always use odd numbers of plant groupings. It is more pleasing to the eye and more natural looking to see groups of 3, 5 or 7 plants than groups of 2, 4 or 6. Aim for plantings that are more triangle-shaped than square-shaped, and your landscaping will have more eye appeal. Create a softer look in your yard with curved borders. Curves are more visually appealing and can add interest and depth to your yard. The curved landscape borders offer a nice complement to the rigidity of the sides of your driveway and house. If you are a pet owner, and you will be using chemicals to take care of your landscaping needs, be aware of which products you are using. Many of these chemical can make your pet sick, and some could even kill them. If you are unsure of which products are safe, ask the store in which you are purchasing them. You know what you want people to think about you and your home, but sometimes, that is hard to communicate the way you want to. By using landscaping, you can show the world just how much pride you take in your home and how well you care for it. This article has shown you lots of great ways to make sure this happens.

#outdoor security lights nz

[mnoonthego]

Day 9- Off to Tsavo East National Park

In an effort to miss the highway to Mombasa, we took a less travelled route which I am pretty sure has never been paved nor seen a grader! We drove through a number of towns that seemed like those I had mentioned earlier. A lot going on at the same time that not much is going on. Mark went with JD in his truck and the girls and I travelled with Robinson. As I mentioned previously, Robinson is great at answering all of my questions and talking about issues that are relevant to the people today. We talked about the role of churches (and mosques) and the vast discrepancy between these huge, very showy buildings and the modest (to say the least) homes and stores around them. The education system and how so many of the schools are private businesses which in many cases mean people can’t afford to send their children; how the schools tell the kids how to cut their hair; the bringing up the role of women in the communities and how education is opening up doors and changing thoughts on the gender roles; the impacts of drought on the domestic animals and therefore on the people; the role of water and the ‘water stations’ and so much more. He was even willing to tell me about his family. He has 22 brothers and sisters, and this influenced his decision with his partner (they aren’t married as she is Kikuyu and he is Maasi and therefore a wedding couldn’t occur) to only have one child. He went university and studied Wildlife Management and works for 7 different tour companies!?! The countryside around here had lots of small scale farming. We saw tomatoes, sisal, cabbages, papayas and mangos crops as we drove through the area and of course herds of cattle and goats.

After a quick lunch of chicken and chips at a little outdoor restaurant, we headed into the park- Tsavo East National Park, the largest park in Kenya. The land is mostly flat so it feels like you can see for miles and due to how try it is, there aren’t a lot of big trees blocking your view. I am reading a book right now called An African Love Story by Daphne Sheldrick, that is the story of her and her husband as they created this piece of land into the park. The big draw to Tsavo East is the Red Elephants- their colour comes from bathing in the red dirt which provides sunscreen and bug repellent for them. Tsavo didn’t disappoint, we were probably in the park for 5 minutes, when a huge bull elephant came into view! Of course we also saw giraffes, zebras, ostriches, too many birds to list, antelope and more.

We headed to our camp site at Lugard Falls which is along the Galana River and looks out to the Yatta Plateau/Escarpment the longest lava flow in the world. Surrounded by Duom Palms and the baboons that live in and around them, the trees were alive as we set up camp. Once we had our tent set up, we did a safety check with the girls, showing them the scorpions and where they like to hang out, pointing out the crocodiles in the river and along the banks, thank-fully on the other side as well as the hippos, some with young ones. Look up the sound Hippos make, it is quite distinctive!  What an experience! This is where the girls marvelled that they had to pee in a hole. The camp ground is one site and there are no services, just a road to it and the rudimentary makings of a fire pit. I had expected that there would be some kind of barrier to keep wild life out but no, they just stayed away for some reasons. Even the baboons were very respectful in sharing the space. Although one did pee on Mark which the girls thought was hilarious!

Another great day and a new adventure!

#familiesthattravel #tsavo

[dritakk]

Warhammer stupid game

#Warhammer stupid game full

The science fiction version rapidly became more popular, and the guy who made Laserburn went on to join the company and then take it over in some kind of wasp eggs in a caterpillar type scenario. By 1985 they had a virtual stranglehold on the entire United Kingdom gaming community, and they decided in 1987 to steal a bunch of shit from Laserburn of all fucking things and make a science fiction spinoff of their fantasy monopoly. When they realized that they could become a vertical monopoly they did so in 1984 – becoming their own distributor, producer, and store. Games Workshop made shit for D&D in the 70s and in 1983 they decided that they should probably release some half assed rules for playing games with their fantasy minis. The origins of 40K are basically pretty stupid. In all reality, I believe we're going to run out and drink “whatever is left in the cupboard.” The label says “Premium British Beer” and I definitely agree that is British. For this I nominate Trooper, the Iron Maiden flavored beer. In any case, we should probably be drinking something appropriately British.

#Warhammer stupid game full

You don't fucking know enough people who have Full Thrust or Critter Commandos miniatures to have a league so those games might as well be written in Farsi. Was it good? Bad? Compared to what? In table top miniatures, most games are literally unplayable outside of gaming conventions. So right around the start of the 90s, WH40K eclipsed Warhammer Fantasy Battles as the biggest minis game, and that meant that when the third edition of 40K came out in 1998 it was already going to be the best minis game by definition just because of playability. Without another player who has spent hundreds of dollars on their miniature army, this is all you can do with your toy soldiers. You need other players and other players are only going to exist if they know there are other players for them and so on. This means that it very much isn't like an RPG that one of your friends can lend you the book after badgering you to give it a shot. The sad fact of that matter is that the barrier to entry to start playing is hundreds of dollars worth of little army guys, and if you want your army to not look like ass it's going to take hundreds of hours painting and assembling it. And in the tabletop minis business, popularity is quality. Probably the biggest questions you have going into this are probably “What the hell is Warhammer?” and of course “Why should I care?” Well, WH40K is a sci-fi spinoff of a fantasy tabletop miniatures game, and you care because it's the biggest game in the tabletop minis sector and has been for more than twenty fucking years. With Koumei taking the heavy lifting of someone for whom 3rd edition was a gateway drug, I guess I'll be playing the part of someone who had already been playing 40K when 3rd edition came out. Seriously, check out the individual vehicle damage tables back then. Looking over old Codices, which had crazy shit. Various tales and references by others.Ģ. So the take-away of this is that my knowledge of prior editions comes mostly from three sources: It was actually an exciting time in Warhams, because a new faction was released (and was spiky and edgy even before goth turned into “new” emo, and their basic Troops were multi-pose with lots of bits) and the iconic SPACE MARINES were getting new plastic kits with all sorts of bits and pieces. What this means is my first purchase included some plastic palm trees, the rules, dice and templates, two plastic measuring sticks that really hurt when you whack someone on the forearm with them (probably why they stopped using these), and two Tactical Squads, a Land Speeder and some number of Dark Eldar Warriors. Your average army probably had 30+ of those. I first walked into the store and asked about getting started just a few weeks before 3rd Edition 40K hit, so they set me up to pre-order the box set, and an extra Tactical Squad (the exciting new one that wasn’t all snap-fit mono-pose!) Also elves are almost always better than orks in both games (regardless of edition). Warhammer 40k and D&D both have some interesting similarities: I started with 3rd Edition in both cases, and 3rd Edition is the best Edition in both cases.

#Warhammer stupid game

[oopshisaygoodnight]

queerbaiting allegations

ok there are so many little things so i’m sorry if i contradict myself here but it’s a major cover story by a prominent writer, of course it’s not going to give larries any love! and that’s for the best- press about us never goes well. but that doesn’t mean anyone should feel weak or guilty. we are not a monolith and can’t account for individual behavior which of course includes the whole gamut of feelings and some young people making silly public mistakes 

twitter is a wonderful space for finding like-minded people. i’m so happy to be here, and i do not find any satisfaction in participating in hateful or mean girl behavior. there are many people who are still learning how to be held accountable for their public views but it’s not worth 

i don’t take any pleasure in participating in mean girl behavior but i stand behind everyone on the front lines calling out BS and ha

harry was loud loud loud! and contradicting even himself! the whole “never been publicly with anyone” and his “gf” being interviewed??? 

then this is a small thing but the whole “gay sex two dudes going at it” is like… what movies have you been watching my friend. maybe i’m a biased viewer because i watch a lot of arthouse but MOST queer love stories on film are either lacking in lovemaking representation at all or handled with tenderness. but what i’m actually hearing from that quote is that MP cut the more explicit stuff (i saw a rumor specifically saying the books BJ scene was cut from the film) 💀

honestly what gay sex on film is he watching. like no, gay sex on film is not two dudes going at it??? what i’m hearing is that they cut Tom’s bj scene 💔💀

when we talk about queerbaiting we forget the context of its cultural birth- in shows and movies that played up romantic and sexual undertones between characters of the same sex to INSINUATE queerness without ever seeing it through to ACTUAL representation

famous examples are all the 2010-era tumblr favorites, sherlock probably chief amongst them in terms of heavy, heavy implication of codependent romantic feelings between the two leads

supernatural also comes to mind- huge community of castiel & dean shippers, until, in season 15 and the year of our lord 2020, castiel confesses his love in one scene and phew, you know the show beat the queerbaiting allegations by asserting he was gay all along!

the other big example for me is the social network (2010), where jesse eisenberg and andrew garfield intentionally capitalized on romantic undertones to explain the characters motivations and boy oh boy did we notice.

andrew garfield has had queerbaiter allegations leveled for a long time, and thats where the breakdown of barriers between fiction and fanfiction began culturally, in my eyes. the rise of "queerbaiting" went hand-in-hand with the argument that queer people should play queer roles

regardless of andrew garfield's actual sexual orientation (as of latest, heterosexual), he is a talented actor who knew that accessing romantic motivations for scenework made them much more compelling. but is that not the exact definition of queerbaiting as i described above?

regardless, i have found reading this piece immensely insightful and reflective of the problems at the heart of insinuated and extratextual queer romance between real people (and the joys of observing such things and processing them in fiction)

[goffilolo]

TWO AND A HALF DEVILS AU (part 2)

It’s about time I wrote a continuation of this post. And I got a lot of things to say about the setting of this AU, namely whatever the fuck is going on in Hage after Astaroth moves there pernamently.

So here’s the deal. A devil living in the village? Not an issue by itself because Hage residents already got used to the guy and see him as a mostly harmless simp who is surprisingly good at knitting if baby Asta’s clothes are anything to go by. The problem is that literally anyone outside of Hage would freak the fuck out if they saw him, and this is where things start getting funny.

My man Astaroth in all of his very limited magic - because even with a marriage contract, accessing his own mana from the underworld is an absolute bitch - has proposed a barrier around the village. The barrier acts as a bubble that makes the village almost impossible to notice from the outside and confuses perception of time and space for anyone who crosses the barrier. So you’d end up with people walking around lost and confused for days at a time, unless you know your way around the barrier, which all residents of Hage do. The barrier is maintained 364 days a year by Astaroth himself and only goes down once a year due to outsiders having to access the grimoire tower for the annual ceremony.

You think this is crazy? Bestie it’s just the beginning. Hage has collectively agreed to a self imposed isolation and it only gets better. Hage is semi-officially off the grid as far as the Clover Kingdom is concerned so the village had to re-organise itself somehow. All resources are pooled together and distributed equally amongst the households, crops are doing better than ever after Asta awakens his prophecies, old buildings/ruins got restored and early on they stopped using money because they legit had no use of it with how the village runs itself. These people invented communism and are living in their little utopian bubble. Also had this idea that due to long exposure (literal years) to devil’s mana through the barrier spell the village and the area surrounding it gets odd phenomena happening - that’s right we’re pulling the shimmer from annihilation because it’s hilarious and because i say so and i do believe that hage deserves to have fucked up ecosystem, you know as a treat.

This means several things:

Hage becomes an entire ‘welcome to the nightvale’ level of a cryptid place amongst the forsaken realm. When Asta joins magic knights and says he’s from Hage, Magna legit thinks he’s lying.

This also means that due to how the village runs neither Asta nor Yuno know how money works, and when they get their first pay as magic knights they got no fuckin idea what to do with it and someone, probably Noelle, has to introduce them to capitalism. This is then followed by a montage of 2 fifteen year olds being left to their own devices to do shopping for the first time in their lives and Vanessa is running around to make sure they don’t get scammed.

The one time when Asta has to go to Owen for a routine check up and gets his blood drawn Owen ends up legit crying over his blood results because they don’t look normal at all, they don’t even look human! Asta’s only excuse is “people in hage are just built different”. Owen calls bullshit and asks for Yuno to be sent over for blood tests, but because this bitch spent his whole life in Hage and is in constant close proximity to Asta his blood results also come out looking fucked up. Owen ends up crying even more.

By the time Liebe gets adopted the village already runs on weird vibes and communism and no one even bats an eye at another devil child. Some villagers were convinced that Astaroth and Licita had 2 kids this entire time and they just kept one of them home until now and they made up this whole story in their heads about Liebe being the ‘sickly twin’ (sister lily’s words, not mine) that was kept indoors until he got better.

Also just to make things clear, Hage still ‘exists’ in the kingdom’s records, it’s just that the common and noble realm give no shit about some village in the boonies near the border, which makes it very easy for them to remain unnoticed to the higher authority. The mayor of Hage is legit the cover guy who fills out all the official paperwork that needs to be sent off like ‘how many people live in the village’ and what have you. This also has the added comedic value of both Astaroth and Liebe being officially on the records. Clover Kingdom has 2 whole devils as their official citizens and they don't even know it.

More absurdities will come.

#black clover #two and a half devils au

[avissapiens]

Avis' Subject Symposium

A Crash Course in Trance Pt 1: Files.

(Art by Acro @sodalite96/https://twitter.com/sodalite96 Used with their permission. Go check them out!)

So often new subjects come to me and they don’t know the first thing about trance. None of its mechanics or methods, and so it can be very daunting for them; to step into such a wide abyss without knowing what to expect and what is expected of you. Many of them, even experienced subjects, expect that 100% of the work is and should be done by the Hypnotist. In truth both parties, the hypnotist and the subject, must be willing and able. But while it’s more readily apparent what must be done in order for a tist to be successful in their endeavors, many subjects/potential subjects can have a hard time understanding what it takes to get the most out of their trance, both from pre-recorded files, and from live sessions with a hypnotist. So, I’m here to give you what is in my opinion, the essential Crash Course to Trance, starting first with trancing to files.

Location

Find yourself somewhere nice, darkened and quiet, where you know you won’t be disturbed. This is already a hard task for a lot of subjects, living with other people always increases the chance that one might barge in on you, eyes glazed over, drooling all over yourself. Or that someone’s reckless pounding from above might shake the abyss so thoroughly that it takes you out of trance. But here is the thing I will stress. While physical quiet is a good idea as it allows you to focus on the words and suggestions streaming into your head. What matters so much more is internal peace and quiet. A location where you can feel at ease and safe and secure in yourself. A locked bedroom surrounded by mountains of pillows. Your favorite plush armchair that threatens to swallow you almost as well as the Abyss of Trance. The peaceful morning route on the train whose path you know so well that you can be lulled into trance just by the rumbling vibrations of the tracks beneath your seat. Wherever you can be comfortable.

The ideal location for trance I'm sure does exist in some government facility or therapists office somewhere, where you can be dropped into an isolation tank and be brainwashed clean. But most of us will never encounter that. So what matters then is the ideal mindset for trance, which is one of peace, safety, trust and assurance.

Equipment

This is one of the reasons so many love using files. Because its barrier to entry is so low. All you really need is something to play the file on and a place to listen. This is in contrast to working directly with a tist where you need, at the very least, A good internet connection, maybe a camera, Another person who you trust and who might be wildly inconsistent. Or working in person which probably will require a whole location and time-table to get set up. No, Files are relatively simple and they are no better or worse than live sessions for certain purposes. However, like all simple things, they can be elevated by improving its ingredients. A box cake from the store and a home-made chiffon are functionally the same, but their difference comes in the ingredients and technique.

So for trance I recommend spoiling yourself a little, at the very least buy yourself some decent quality over-ear headphones. Many file-makers (myself included) add frequencies and binaural beats underneath the main track. These serve the purpose of training your own brain’s waveforms to a certain frequency, thus more easily taking you into trance. But they can only be detected and properly registered with some good headphones. Additionally, The encapsulation of headphones provides a more immersive experience, isolating you and transporting you through the trance experience like you are in your own little world. Trust me. $600 studio headphones aren’t needed, But a good quality wired $40 headset goes a long way and is multi-purpose. A decent quality chair or mattress also will serve you well, not just in trance but in life.

Focus

Trance is a very tricky state that, like all things, requires practice and patience to master. Staying in trance is like a tightrope walk, teetering gently between the realm of consciousness and awareness, and the oblivion of total subconscious and sleep. It is the liminal space between the two, that subconscious space that makes trance and hypnosis possible. It is the state where your mind is most open to total suggestion and where magical things can happen. So how does one walk the line between these two modes of being? The answer is focus. Or rather Half-focus. Focusing without focusing. With descriptions like that it can sound like some kind of Zen riddle, but that is often what it feels like sometimes. Now this is not a laser focus like you would expect in a classroom setting, no one is being tested here. It's a more gentle and subtle focus. Like focusing on the world around you. Focusing on the wind on your face, the rise and fall of your lungs; On the way your body just goes loose and slumps over. The trick is to go in and to follow along, to listen and pay attention and try to comply with the suggestions given at first. Suspend your disbelief and engage with it unironically and without pretense. If you notice yourself drifting, don’t try to force it back to focus. Simply let it explore where it wants and to carry on organically. Nothing in trance needs to be forced. Simply focused on and allowed to happen.

Many subs oscillate in trance, their minds ebbing and flowing like a Sine wave; wavering in and out of trance, one minute aware, the next minute completely blank and asleep, and then for a brief moment in bliss. But it averages out to trance at the end of it. One must also not fear dropping out of trance. Focusing too much on that eventuality makes it a self fulfilling prophecy. Just Focus-not-focus-half-focus and enjoy yourself.

Apprehension

So many subjects look at files and their mind begins to spin with endless questions and anxieties. Worries about “losing themselves” or “changing too much” or “doing things they don’t want to do.” It’s a valid set of concerns for a new subject, uninitiated in the true mechanics of trance and only knowing of hypnosis what is shown in the media. Evil villains and monsters brainwashing our heroes to do horribly enticing and arousing things. So ingrained is this idea that it even crossed over into the allure of hypnosis files. And while I won’t say it's impossible for that to happen, I have 3 comments on it to ease your mind. First, with Files, one of the best things about it is that the subject gets to control practically every single aspect of the experience. When you do it, how many times you listen, and whether you listen at all to begin with. While all files should be clearly labelled with Content and trigger warnings and given an explicit summary of what they are and what they do, we know that is not the case. The amount of “Mystery files” I've seen on various forums irks me to no end. But it appeals to some people. However, for those who are not particularly fond of surprises you have the absolute power to review the file before you trance to it. You can give it a fully aware walk through, or just jump through segments to look for anything that doesn’t suit your taste.

Once you’ve done that however you might still be conflicted about some content. Not openly averse to it, but unsure. Dumbing down and IQ reduction are probably number one on this list. People are so terrified of somehow losing everything when they learn to stop overthinking things. For these concerns my second point suggests Introspection. Ask yourself “Why do I/Don’t I want this?” “Is it really as bad as my anxiety is making it out to be?” Because if you like something a lot, and really want it, then why should you deny yourself it out of fear? Even aside from dumbing, many desires are tinged with this air of guilt or fear. Terrified to acknowledge or grab hold of what we truly want and own up to it. In my estimation Hypnosis can be one of the best ways of dabbling with those desires because in trance there is no shame or judgement. Finally, my 3rd point says you don’t have to worry. If you really don’t like a suggestion you can always leave it behind. Your mind has built in fail-safes to reject suggestions you haven’t agreed to. A file cannot make you do something unless you want it, at least subconsciously. The old cliche goes “All Hypnosis is Self-Hypnosis” and what that fundamentally means is that as a subject you are the one who decides what happens. You consent and go along with things and allow them to happen to you. It is your desire, your focus, your arousal and your own subconscious that allows hypnosis to work. Subjects have more power than they know. I really hope it assists some people in vibing better with trance and files. I’ll be putting out another version for Live hypnotists later this month.

Thanks again to Acro for letting me use their Art, definitely go and support them on twitter. And If you want to support the creation of more hypnotic experiences that might help you practice that balance of focus then you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon, or to my Youtube channel. And if you want to interact more closely with me and my supportive community you can join my Discord server.

#Hypnosis #trance #gay hypnosis #brainwashing #caption #hypnotized #hypnokink

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

just some hawks headcanons

he loves doing your eyeliner and loves when you point out how good he is at it

he’ll do cool designs too not just normal eyeliner and if you ever wanna do his eyeliner he’s so down (but if you’re not super good at it he will playfully make fun of you, while giving you little tips here and there it’s cute)

he’s such a morning person it’s annoying at times, but it’s generally because he’s been working nonstop for years on a schedule that had him up early 

but on the bright side, if he has time before he has to go to work, he’ll make you breakfast and you’ll get wholesome morning cuddles before he goes 

or if it’s a day off you’ll wake up to him pressing soft kisses all over your cheeks and nose and jawline and a few stray ones on your lips while he whispers ‘come on baby, time to wake up’ all pouty like

he likes to sleep on top of your chest, mainly because it’s easier for him to sleep on his stomach cause of his wings, but he’ll wrap his arms around your waist tightly and bury his face in your chest or neck

he also nuzzles into you a lot, both asleep and awake, he thinks its comforting

he wants to stay up late with you so badly because he’ll take essentially any time he can get with you, but no matter what he wakes up early so he knows he needs to sleep early too, would probably knock out at midnight at the latest anyways

he whistles all the time, he hums a lot too, he’s got a pretty decent voice 

his hair, while it looks good, is probably pretty tangled and messy all the time since he’s always flying around, so he’d love it if you helped him brush his hair gently

also he loves when you help him take care of his wings, he’s kinda hesitant to let other people touch them because they’re so sensitive but if you’re gentle then he’s ecstatic 

when you kiss he lets out little hums from the back of his throat

whenever he gets hurt doing hero work he tries to stay away from you until his injuries dont look bad/he can function fairly normally, one reason for this is that he doesn’t like being seen as weak and vulnerable, he likes people thinking he’s indestructible almost, especially you, and the second reason is that he hates worrying you. he’s so thankful for you and just wants you to be happy so he hates worrying you in any way

but you will catch on eventually, and he begins to grow out of this when you start taking care of his injuries and coddling him a bit 

at the beginning of the relationship it was kinda rocky in an emotional sense, he was physically there and from an outside perspective everything seemed great considering how busy he is and all that, but you knew there were some barriers there that took a while for you two to communicate about

thing is you’re likely keigo’s first relationship, he’s never had the time or care to even think about one but you came along and he just couldn’t resist, but he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do outside of things he’s heard and he still isnt sure how much trust he should give you

and he knows there’s something up, but he’s still careful about bringing it up, sometimes he thinks that maybe it’d be better for the both of you if you broke up but he knows he’d miss you and doesn’t want to

so eventually you’d have to bring it up, just ask him if things are okay and help him to understand that you’re there for him and that even if it takes time you want to learn about him - even while dating it could take a bit to fully earn his trust, but through various vulnerable moments he’d begin to open up more

he’s insanely protective of you, he tries not to let the media know too much about you if you’re not a hero, and even if you are he tries to make sure your relationship isn’t made into this huge publicity thing - and if anyone ever bothers you he isn’t shy to stand up for you and hurt somebody, he cares more about you than his reputation and he’ll deal with the consequences later

he’s jealous in a possessive you’re mine kind of way, but he does like to show you off, it’s just he has kind of a look but don’t interact policy, as soon as someone tries getting too friendly he’s backing them off, but he loves people knowing that youre with him

if you’re a hero he’ll definitely try to work with you often if your quirks allow it (mainly meaning if you have a quirk that has you out on the field capable of doing intense fighting rather than a quirk that would keep you in a different field than him)

he can be extremely touchy but he can also have moments of not wanting to be touched at all, sometimes he feels better being in his own space, he doesn’t like feeling crowded even if it’s just you, but during these times he’ll still want to be around you, maybe even having your pinkies laced but that’s it

he ruffles your hair all the time

he probably loves going to the park late at night to play on the playground, he likes a lot of more ‘childish’ seeming things mainly because he didn’t have a normal childhood, but he’d love running around the playground with you

asks you to race to who can swing the highest faster and then uses his wings and cheats (he’s probably caused the swing and him to swing around the actual pole at the top doing that before, his life flashed before his eyes, he never did it again)

he absolutely loves carrying you around while flying, if you’re afraid of heights or just don’t like it he understands but if you’re into it then he’ll do it all the time, he thinks of the sky way above the clouds as a safe space where it’s just him and his thoughts and no problems, and he’s so happy to bring you there - now it’s just you two in the whole world and he wants nothing more 

he has dreams of just being able to live freely with you, going around the world just being happy doing whatever you want, maybe eventually settling down, doesn’t matter where - he’s not all too sure if it’ll ever happen since it feels kinda impossible to him to have a life where he isnt stuck doing hero work, but he craves it a lot 

if you don’t want to get married or have kids that’s perfectly fine, keigo would be happy either way, but he probably dreams of those things too - he seems like the type of kid who imagined a pretty wedding with the love of his life one day, and he just knows that if it’s going to be anyone it’s going to be you 

always flirts with you super confidently, tells you stupid pick up lines as if you weren’t dating, but if you ever turn that back on him he gets super flustered

he’d probably cry if you ever pointed out how beautiful you think he is, like his face and body and everything - it’s not that he’s never been told it before, he’s literally a model, he knows he’s attractive, but he probably thinks people view him more so as an object to look at rather than actually appreciating him, so knowing how much you love him for him means so much 

it was a big thing for him even just telling you his name, everyone (at least for a while) only knew him as hawks, so if you start dating before his name was made public, it’d take a lot. he’d probably do it before asking you out, but he was still very nervous about it. he probably only told you his first name at that time, his last name came later, maybe even into you dating

though he instantly fell in love with the way his name sounds coming from your lips

there might be a lot of petty arguments, he can get agitated fairly easily when he’s been working a lot which is most of the time, and at the beginning of the relationship he didn’t know how to talk this through and would get annoyed by little things - he’s gotten better at it over time though and now he calms down quicker and talks to you about it 

would think it’s funny if you bought any stupid merch of him - he walks in and you have a blanket covered in his face and you’re wearing shorts with his hands on the ass, he’d think it’s hilarious. 

#for anyone that reads tags #i know ive basically died but i wanna come back so i'm gonna try #im probably gonna clean out my inbox too #so sorry if i delete yours it's just a lot of the requests idk how to answer and theyve been there for months now #also - i gotta come clean #shinsous not my fav anymore :( i'm still in love with him but stupid keigo came and demanded my hand in marriage or whatever #but idk how to rebrand my blog so hoe for shinsou stays for now #anyways #hawks #hawks headcanons #hawks x reader #hawks fluff #keigo takami #takami keigo #keigo takami x reader