#thanks for the info anon! sorry you had to suffer through that
Note
Like yeah, I know John had a wife, but sex still played no role in his films, just pure love. So it was disappointing for the first episode of ‘The Continental’ to have three sex scenes — one happening off to the side in the most lifeless 1970s New Year’s Party I’ve ever seen (people looked more shuffling than dancing), then young Winston has one mostly kept offscreen, so I though ‘okay, that’s a little better’, but then they have two detectives outright naked, showing their backsides and doing the act onscreen for a solid minute, and I was like WHY. This is the ‘John Wick’ franchise. You’re appealing to the wrong people here, we really don’t need to see that. It literally had nothing to do with the plot. And my non-asexual friend hated it too, so I know it’s not just an ace thought in this case. The opening fight was pretty good though.
So I have not seen any part of the Continental TV show, nor will I ever watch it, so I can't give my 100% Verified Critic TM opinions, and thus I will be going off your testimony, Anon. And uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah. It sounds exactly as bad as I expected it to be.
First, just for context for others who maybe haven't seen the films - sex is not at all a thing in JW quadriology. There are no sex scenes, John has no love interests, I don't even think there's an instance where a character catcalls or makes a reference to getting laid. The most sexually charged scene, arguably, is a quick shot of Ares touching John's butt during a patdown. Even the scene where a woman removes all her clothes is written and shot intentionally un-sexually charged as possible and is instead far more sad and tragic. So yeah, throwing sex scenes and sexually-charged nudity into a """""John Wick"""" tv series is. fuckin stupid.
The real problem here, though, isn't that the creators are making unnecessary sex scenes, that's a symptom of a bigger issue. The issue is that the show is not at all interested in what made the John Wick movies work. The John Wick movies are pure action camp, they are over-the-top depictions of guys fighting each other in brutal and violent ways, just done artistically. Rule of Cool is law, and that makes for some of the most stunningly gorgeous visual cinema to date. The JW films can be summarized as "pretty man in suit do murder" and as long as it looks good, that's all that it needs to be. Sure, Kolstad and Stahelski added some crazy worldbuilding that gets more and more ridiculous as the movies go, but again, this is just an excuse for Keanu Reeves to get in a black suit and pretend to shoot a fuckton of stunt guys. None of this needs to make sense. The world John lives in does not need to be logical or realistic, it just needs to service the next action scene. Because, let's face it, this is a classic Greek tragedy unfolding before our eyes, John nor anyone else is gonna have a character arc, there aren't subplots that need to be tied up by the end. We're just here for the spectacle. And that's ok.
However, we live in a disgusting timeline where studios feel the need to a make cinematic universe out of everything, so instead of just fuckin…. giving Kolstad or Stahelski or literally anyone the money and resources to make more projects, they try to come up with shit from an IP. And all Lionsgate really has going for it right now is The Hunger Games and John Wick, so they want something with JW franchise names we know. Hence, a backstory about Winston and the Continental, which literally?? no one asked for?? ever????? If anyone actually cares about Winston's original rise to power, or what John did to hide Sofia's daughter, or what exactly happened in the three-men-in-a-bar-with-a-pencil story, we fanfic writers have already gotten to work on that, I don't need a panel of executives doing that for me. And a part of the appeal of the John Wick underworld is that it's there, it exists, it's just how the world works, and we do not question it. The moment we start asking questions about how it works proves that we've lost the point, which is YO BRO JOHN'S SWORDFIGHTING THE IRON CHEF GUY WITH KATANA IN A GLASS ROOM THIS IS SO SICK
So. yeah. doesn't surprise me at all the sex scenes felt out of place and don't work for a John Wick spin off. Nothing about this premise works as a John Wick spin off. Put shit in, get shit out.
#this is a very small section of a full essay about john wick and ace coding and female gaze me and besties had#which i'd also be happy to talk about if anyone's interested#thanks for the info anon! sorry you had to suffer through that#john wick#sen thinks she's interesting#<-- new tag bc this isn't funny but just me rambling
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello :)
First off I’d like to apologize because I only recently discovered your blog at a time of great need, and have been reblogging so many posts lol so sorry if that’s annoying.
I’m in my early twenties, it’s almost my birthday, and I was born into a family with two affirming Catholic parents and three affirming siblings of various beliefs. I’ve pretty much always been comfortable with the fact that I am not heterosexual, and tend to have some beliefs that are not reallllllly accepted by mainstream American Christianity. Because of this, your blog has been incredibly comforting, informative, and thought provoking, so I thank you for that.
I was wondering if you had any resources for how different denominations thought of nature and wild spaces. I know there’s a lot of garden imagery within the Bible, such as in the Song of Songs, but I was always taught in my religious teaching that wild spaces, such as mountains and forests, were like realms of the devil or something. One verse that was pretty common in my local church is something about filling the deserts and leveling mountains to make a path for God (sorry if I’m remembering that incorrectly). Because I’ve only been to Catholic Churches, I was wondering if other groups and denominations had different views on nature rather than untamed = bad and taming the environment = good.
Thank you and have a nice day
Hey there, anon! Not annoying at all to reblog posts, that's what they're here for ^-^
My Catholic self is so happy to hear that your Catholic family is affirming of who you are!
I'm sadder to hear that you were taught much less affirming things about the created world. You are so right to have noticed that the Bible is chock-full of praise for creation! The twisting of Christianity to say otherwise has a long history with an intentional agenda of justifying settler colonialism and environmental devastation.
___
I wish I had more time to look through specific denominations' points of view for you, but if I wait till I do have time I'll probably never get around to answering this, alas! I can provide this much, at least:
One term that some use when describing their support of environmental justice is "Creation Care" (or "earth care"), so that's a good key phrase to use when researching.
For example, here's the Episcopal Church's page on creation care; and the UMC's, and a Catholic site; and a PCUSA site; and the UCC's...
However, I'm not sure that views on the natural world always split neatly on denominational lines anyway. Moving beyond the denominational, I'll loosely describe some of the viewpoints in Christianity around Creation:
Thanks to Paul incorporating a lot of Greco-Roman ideology into his letters that made it into the Bible, and thanks to Christianity getting entangled in Roman Empire shit in like the 400s CE, some Christianity uplifts a strong dualism between the spiritual and the material. When you pit the spiritual and material against each other in this way, it tends to be bad news for the natural world.
The belief expressed throughout the rest of the Bible — so the Hebrew Bible + much of the Gospels — doesn't construct this binary between the spiritual and the physical. The created world is declared good by God in Genesis 1, and Creation is praised throughout the Psalms and other scripture. The place of human beings in the created world is explored in various parts of the Bible, with various conclusions being drawn — are we in charge? What's it mean to be in charge? Is the whole planet ours to do with as we please, or are are we meant to care for it?
A major example of Christians deciding that the planet is ours to do with as we will comes in the form of the settlers who colonized the Americas. Research manifest destiny for lots of info on the consequences of these views. The Americas, and this whole planet, are suffering greatly because of this way of interpreting the Bible. Thankfully, there are other ways.
The Catholic Church itself actually has a healthier way of understanding Creation in theory, even if the institution doesn't always make choices that practice what they preach. Here's a bit of what the Roman Catholic Catechism says about the natural world:
339 Each creature possesses its own particular goodness and perfection. For each one of the works of the "six days" it is said: "And God saw that it was good." "By the very nature of creation, material being is endowed with its own stability, truth and excellence, its own order and laws." Each of the various creatures, willed in its own being, reflects in its own way a ray of God's infinite wisdom and goodness. Man must therefore respect the particular goodness of every creature, to avoid any disordered use of things which would be in contempt of the Creator and would bring disastrous consequences for human beings and their environment.
340 God wills the interdependence of creatures. The sun and the moon, the cedar and the little flower, the eagle and the sparrow: the spectacle of their countless diversities and inequalities tells us that no creature is self-sufficient. Creatures exist only in dependence on each other, to complete each other, in the service of each other.
341 The beauty of the universe: The order and harmony of the created world results from the diversity of beings and from the relationships which exist among them. Man discovers them progressively as the laws of nature. They call forth the admiration of scholars. The beauty of creation reflects the infinite beauty of the Creator and ought to inspire the respect and submission of man's intellect and will.
There's a lot more — check out the Catechism's section on "the visible world" (you have to scroll to it) on this webpage.
_____
Ultimately, in the search for interpretations of Christianity that uplift the goodness of Creation, and our role not as masters but as stewards of it, I highly recommend digging into the works of Indigenous Christians. As white Christianity colludes with empire and wreaks having on the land, Indigenous Christians speak up for the goodness of God's creation.
A fabulous starting point is Native: Identity, Belonging, and Rediscovering God by Kaitlin B. Curtice. It's a short memoir, very readable and powerful.
Rescuing the Gospel from the Cowboys by Richard Twiss is a little denser, but extremely informative. You can also find interviews and the like with Twiss online, if reading is less your thing.
My own Christian faith has also been deeply enriched by non-Christian Indigenous authors — especially Robin Wall Kimmerer, whose book Braiding Sweetgrass changed my life. I was so inspired by her description of human beings not as the masters of creation but as the "little siblings of Creation" that I wrote this poem about it.
Many Black and Latine theologians have also been integral to me in shaping my understanding of Creation and humanity's place in it. Another memoir I highly recommend is This Here Flesh by Cole Arthur Riley, which talks about a variety of things, including a bit on the natural world. Take this passage, for example.
Finally, there are some gorgeous writings on Creation from Medieval Christians like Francis of Assisi and Hildegard von Bingen.
One last couple of book recs for a look at the holiness of creation: Barbara Brown Taylor's An Altar in the World and Sister Macrina Wiederkehr's A Tree Full of Angels.
___
I hope this helps somewhat! If you haven't already, you might enjoy wandering through my #Creation tag too.
#creation#sorry this is messier and not well cited like most of my posts#but it should provide a good starting point for further exploration!
62 notes
·
View notes
Note
I had a 20 hours shift and after I woke up I saw the notification of the new IKEA chapter ❤️. It made my day so much better ❤️❤️❤️❤️
The hurt-comfort chapter is something I needed❤️❤️❤️❤️
“He knows it's not an excuse but at the time Nace had acted out on instinct. For those few seconds kissing Jan felt right. Like the easiest thing he's ever done.”
“Tries to come up with a scenario that doesn't end in tears and a smack to the face.” Poor baby.
“Why did he kiss Jan? Because it felt good. Because Jan makes him feel safe. Because.....because he loves him. What he initially thought was just a crush has derailed into something else entirely. Crush doesn't even come close to describing his complex feelings for the guitarist.” It’s a bad circumstance but he finally realised what Jan means to him❤️
Love how Nace’s priority is Ollie. To keep him safe and loved. I’m also sad that he didn’t dare to consider the same treatment for himself, didn’t have the self-confidence to allow it for himself.
“How could he have been this blind? Did he just never see how manipulative she is or did he subconsciously know all along but refuse to acknowledge it? Most of all he's disappointed in himself for only seeing it once Ollie got unfairly involved. Now everything is blowing up right in his face and his dog is the one suffering most from it.”
“He just doesn't understand. Legitimately can't comprehend why Maja would treat an animal like this. Christ, how did he not see this coming? Nace thought that being hit by her is the worst thing she could do but what she's done to Ollie tonight is a hundred times worse in comparison.”
Accepting and realising that she is no longer a safe place for him BUT Jan is❤️❤️❤️
Kris is a hero for driving Jan to Nace’s place. Although I think Jan would have spent money on taxi to get Nace’s place as soon as possible.
Jan is being a sweetheart❤️❤️❤️ (can’t wait to see his inner thoughts of Nace’s call and the things happened after)(can Jan fix the controller? Does Nace wants it to get fixed?)
“Nace doesn't even realize that Jan is checking for bruises until he's blatantly asked” "Are you hurt?"” “Nace starts to cry, unable to help himself, giving up on wiping the tears away pretty quickly when they just keep on coming.”
Asking for what he wants/needs is such a huge thing.❤️❤️❤️❤️
“"C-can you wa....wait f-for me-?"” “Nace can't be with him until he's sorted out his own shit. It's only fair to Jan.” “Eventually, Jan promises: ".....of course. I'll wait forever if you want, Nace."”
Why do you have to end the chapter with “And for the second time that night, Nace thinks that just maybe, things will be okay.” Why can’t Nace have some peace? Also Maja still has the keyes to his place? Will Nace have a breakdown in front of Jan just to be surprised how much better and kinder Jan helps him to get through and recover from it?
Only 5 more chapters left 😭😭😭😭
AAAAH ANON THANK U SM FOR THE LONG MESSAGE!! I LOVE getting long comments eee 🥰🥰 Sorry for putting Nace, Ollie and you through it reader 😅 The most important but jarring thing about this chapter to me was really driving the point home that Nace would have likely and unfortunately still stayed with Maja if she hadn't neglected Ollie like that. Because he won't tolerate any abuse towards anyone that isn't him :( He definitely has a lot of reflection and healing to do before starting anything with Jan.
Also I'll probably add at least one more chapter because there'll only be like 4 chapters of Jance actually being together which isn't a lot so I'm planning on having some more happy content at the end to compensate for all the angst
Thanks so much for the message anon and just for you, I'll give some info about the next chapter (whenever it comes out lmao): the whole thing will be one big flashback that adds a lot of context to Nace's character in the fic 👀
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
Let’s see the Olivia 911 song list
thank youuuuu for asking i love you!! i know i said five but i didn’t want to stop at five so i did ten. also im gonna try and refrain myself from just saying every song is a buck song but it’s hard
1. Brutal- seasons 1-3 May. I feel like we as a collective don’t talk about the early seasons of may grant enough. she was just a kid! and she was being bullied so bad she thought she didn’t have any way out of it, it’s so heartbreaking. and then she just kept going through stuff in her family life and… i just care for her so much and this is HER song fr.
2. Deja Vu- Buddie. there’s no like actual moment of buddie for deja vu but i just feel like this is what’s going through both of their heads every single time the other person has a date with someone else. like this is the one and only buddie jealousy song to me!
3. Vampire- Buck/abby. like i’m sorry you can’t convince me buck abby was an ethical relationship and im NOT talking about the age gap even though that’s the main point of this song. like she got his info in a sketchy way and then basically used him to help her heal until she was ready to move on but then didn’t even have the guts to do an actual breakup and left the kid hanging for months. call me a bitch but i feel very comfortable saying she sucked so much of his energy and life. it took two full seasons for him to fully find closure from that while she had started a whole new life! :/
4. Stranger- Buck/abby again lol. this is like the other side of that argument where it’s like, buck was totally crushed but now in season seven who the fuck cares about her! she’s just a stranger now! and the lyric “you are the best thing i keep so far out of my life” is very them. because she did change his outlook on life in MANY ways but his healing from her was the best thing he could have ever done.
5. logical & enough for you- maddie. my heart breaks listening to these songs from a maddie perspective. thinking about how long she suffered and dealt with so much she didn’t deserve,,, these are the best songs for her imo especially the lyric “one day i’ll be everything for somebody else” because she is she really is! and she’s getting married to the person who looks at her like she hung the moon and i love her!!!
6. Making the bed- eddie, specifically pre canon eddie. idk how to explain this one but it’s very much just the idea of him getting back to his son realizing how shit things are and being like … i had a part in making this problem and now i need to fix my shit. and then he did!
7. 1sf3sb- henren in the early seasons/precanon. the cheating storyline is one of my least favs but i love how they showed them rebuilding from it and coming back even stronger. but in the midst of it all this song is truly very them from karen’s perspective. she was valid for everything during that time btw karen is a literal saint for her patience.
8. boahsg- ravi, our little clumsy socially awkward darling
9. Love is embarrassing- Bisexual buck!!!!!! this is my fav liv song and it’s so buck it’s not even funny. the anthem for the give more than they get hopeless romantics oh god i love him and it became way way more buck when he kissed a man who’s kind of a loser. i bet he’s planning out his wedding with a guy he’s never marrying right now!
10. finally, the newest addition to my list and the most important in my mind: Scared of my guitar the most buddie song to ever buddie (other than good luck babe). I love this song so much coming from the perspective of them literally not being able to lie to each other but they can lie to significant others like it’s nothing. oh there’s so much good stuff in there it’s amazing.
thank you for letting me do this anon ily
#i have a lot of other artists i could do this with lmao listening to music is a 911 activity for me#911 abc
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
I really don't mean to come off as mean or demanding because it's insane to expect people to know everything about... everything - the only thing that made me a little upset about your original post was the fact that you really can't be sure of overwolf's statements, since they're probably trying really hard to avoid being subject to a boycott, and you have a lot of followers. I'm sad people were mean about it since you obviously didn't mean anything bad by it and are going through tough times as well. If you have a kofi I'd be more than happy to donate 🩷 we all deserve help, no matter the size of our problems, Ceci
Thank you dear nonny, I apologize that I made you upset! Clearly I just don't know enough about this subject, and obviously have bias by the situation I am in too. But it's so tough when people look to you to make a statement immediately, you know? If you don't say anything quick enough, people get fucking furious and say you're ignoring it. I had anons within hours of that tweet saying I support literal genocide because I had posts on cf which is absolutely ridiculous. But I hate jumping into a statement fast, because as we saw here, half the time new stuff comes to your attention afterward that makes you look like a jackass, people attack you like you're the devil incarnate for not knowing everything, etc. I've been really confused and conflicted by all this, I see one thing and then more info that conflicts that and then more that conflicts that. I trusted the original poster that added Overwolf's statements because they were the one to bring this up in the first place, and I didn't see anything conflicting that on their tweet (Like additional sources etc). But immediately after I posted their tweet, well, you see how that one turned out. I was thinking about privating that post but I don't want anyone to think I deleted it- but should I? I don't want it to be misleading. Or should I reblog it with additional/updated info? Yall, please let me know. I am so lost these days mentally.
I am really sorry that I upset people though with that. And I was being honest when I said I've lost sleep over this and all this suffering weighs heavy on my heart. I think most of yall that have been with me for a long time know that I'm one of those people that just wants to fix everything and when I can't it's just devastating and I can't get it off my mind. And choosing between participating in a boycott and being able to pay for meds is not something I would wish on anybody. Especially when you got people coming on your post calling you privileged, disgusting, hypocrite, etc because you didn't delete your cc posts fast enough for their liking. The money i'm waiting on from cf is money I already earned. They already got the damn ad revenue. I aint earning them more money because I aint uploading anything else there, I'm waiting for what's already owed to me. But to people on simblr who likely don't even pay their own bills, that's worthy of some goofy callout post calling you genocidal. Over freaking sims 4 cc. It's mind boggling.
Anyway, I'm going on too long again lmfao. Let me say again, thank you nonny, I appreciate you. I think I have an old ko-fi account somewhere, I'm going to get it set up so people can tip here and there if they like my cc and don't care for patreon. I'm also gonna start doing commissions soon. And on that note if anyone has any suggestions for how to format that feel free to send them to my inbox. Along with any other related suggestions. ...alright, I think I'm done rambling fr 😂 love you nonny 💜
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
[WAVES MY HAND AROUND AGAIN] hai it's me the person who almost ate your golden freddy (sorry q,q) I finally got around to reading your post about what your AU is all about and AFHJKHFSUKNBFDSGKK NO VFJNN NO CHX ... FX,CZ,.. Sorry for dying. It was SO COOL, in all my years of reading about fnaf aus I don't think I've ever heard about anything quite like that :0
Question question!!!! [Waves my hand around so fast my hand falls off] if this isn't too much information to reveal yet , I'm wondering if there's a deeper reason that he randomly got trapped in his game, like did he write all of the stuff that Springtrap did himself and maybe perhaps all the other characters were angry that he wrote all of that and made them go through that suffering (since you said Cassidy does exist in this so I assume he wrote about the MCI incident as the backstory for his game), does that have anything to do with the reason he got trapped in his game? Were they punishing him for what he accidentally and unknowingly put them through? Or did they put him in it so they could have a chance to get revenge ..
I have more questions than just this actually but I don't want to overwhelm ya AFHJHGFIJHUFRK also I'm going to come up with an anon name for myself cus I'm gonna stalk your page from now on for info about your au (/lh)
~spooks
(Five nights at Freddy’s is an indie horror game series created by Scott Cawthon)
Please feel free to ask any questions about my FNAF au!
OK #1 THANK YOU SO MUCH, I WAS LITERALLY SOBBING TEARS OF JOY READING THIS-
AND #2 TO ANSWER UR QUESTION- ::
William made Springtrap to be somewhat inspired by himself, He had bad intentions but never acted on them. So more like an intrusive thought 24/7 kind of thing, but how William actually got there was through a dream, a kind of vision if you will, the animatronics stuck in the game with their pain and anger, were getting RESTLESS. But the one that truly brought him through to the dimension of the game was Cassidy. She had been the one to suffer the most being the first victim, they had taken years in the backstory to adapt to life stuck inside. She struggled to move. Struggled to breath, and was stuck for a very long time, so out of pure anger and spite of her creator keeping them trapped like this she thought of a way that they could make William understand her suffering. SOMEHOW, Cassidy managed to make a way through worlds, a portal of some kind (giving me Minecraft portal vibes 😭) (Cassidy had coded the portal herself (I like to imagine she really didn’t know what she was doing but after like hours and hours of work she FINALLY got it) Cassidy taunted William in the dream/vision he backed up. Cassidy knows that she can’t hurt him from his dimension, but if she could bring him to hers, she could. And She PUSHES William through, he stumbles back and falls through (wow, what a nice dream) and then, he woke up, relieved it was “just a nightmare”, but everything seemed way more colourful and well, not like earth at all! He was then stuck in the game, and the only way to get back was through the portal. (Cassidy had more likely gone through and arrived back to where she started, literally having NO IDEA where William was, and thats when she started searching.)
Also, heres a fun fact about my Golden freddy in my au
The design I made for them was inspired by
The nowhere king - Centaurworld and
Death- Puss in boots and the last wish SO THERE YA GO
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE QUESTION! I HOPE THIS HELPED YOU UNDERSTAND THE AU A LITTLE BETTER!
I will try to release sketch concepts of the portal and maybe even some concept art of the setting/backgrounds!
thank you! <33
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay so im back for a minute since i saw some stuff you had posted
1. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR IMBIBITOR LUNAE. IM SO GLAD HE ALSO CAME HOME FOR YOU. So about Bailu and the Vidyadhara in general, im going to try my best to generalise it and also not to accidently spoil anything so 1. They can reincarnate infinitely but at the cost of their own memories. So once they self reincarnate, they wont keep their old memories, although there are some exceptions for some vidyadhara but i wont elborate on that since that is something you’ll learn eventually. 2. They cannot have children, so if any vidyadhara dies, it is a big deal. 3. Yeah they are immortal in a way, they simply self reincarnate to continue their life albeit at the cost of their memories. 4. Bailu is an interesting case but im afraid if i talk more i might spoil you so just enjoy the story
Also about Luocha, well there isnt much information about him. All we know about him is that he seems to be blessed by Yaoshi and he looks eerily similar to a antagonist from Mihoyo’s other game, Honkai Impact 3rd. There is also one other piece of info i left out about him that we currently have but judging from where you are at the story, i dont wanna spoil it and want you to have the joy of witnessing it. The Xianzhou Luofu arc is honestly exposition arc for the overarching story of HSR so you will get much more lore about them (i think we will get to know more about the vidyadhara more in the future since there are still the other Xianzhou ships)
2. OMG the idea of an Ex fatui agent reader & wanderer would be an cute and excellent idea. Both of were victims of The Doctor and suffered immensely because of him. Even when they don’t seem like it, they have many similarities and with Nahida Therapy, i think both of them will eventually be their closest friend for each other because of their dark history with the doctor, they both understand each other because of that history. Also i cant help but imagine a very cute family with reader being the parent, Wanderer being a snarky older brother, while Collei is the baby of the family. They may be very traumatized but they will still kill anyone that hurts their little family :)
3. OOOOO PLATONIC HSR X READER THOUGHTS! Ok since im currently running a bit late rn, i will simply give one thought i have. Qingque and their workaholic older sibling, so we know Qingque is lazy as hell right? Why not give her an older sibling who is very strict and stern with her and would nag Qingque to stop being a slacker. I imagine this sibling to be an Amicassador for the Sky Faring Commision like Tingyun, so they would be out a lot, which let Qingque slack as much as possible but dw the reader had someone to keep an eye on her :)
That is all for now and i hope you have a good day/night!
- 🐱 Anon
HI 🐱 ANON HELLO <33 THANK YOU DEAR HE IS SOMETHING LIKE MY MAIN DPS NOW AND I ADORE HIM... HE CARRIES ME THROUGH JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING EVEN THOUGH HE'S 10 LEVELS LOWER THAN THE REST OF MY TEAM
i want to inject vidyadhara lore into my blood i am so fascinated by them....
I KNEW IT I KNEW THERE WERE DRAWBACKS that is so fascinating though and it makes so much sense because i imagine it being something like shedding an old shell. so much pain and angst potential there with that concept too. if the vidyadharas are aware of the fact that they will experience memory loss with new incarnations... hear me out: what if they had diaries and scrapbooks from previous incarnations because they knew they would forget and and RAAGRGEHGHWG i'm so (ab)normal about them sorry AND THEY CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN? that is so fascinating. i imagine by that you mean they can't pass on their vidyadhara lineage (or have children in general, but focusing on the idea that they can't pass down their lineage)... no wonder it would be a huge deal if/when one died then.
luocha could commit serious crimes and it would not change how i feel about him LMFAO bro is majestic? he gives off wine uncle vibes. comes around once a year and tells you things you aren't supposed to know and then leaves again to do god knows what. i am very much enjoying this arc. it's so... lore-heavy. and i love that. it is feeding my fanfic writer and oc creator brain.
AND YES YOU'RE SO RIGHT. [name] is collei's parent, in a way. the wanderer is simultaneously both [name]'s and collei's guard dog older brother... he is older than both of them, after all. all three of them are capable of committing serious crimes--the wanderer can and will commit a violent crime in defense of his little traumatized family, [name] can and will commit a violent crime in defense of their little traumatized family BUT would only do so if seriously needed, and collei could but won't.
OHHHHHHHH LAJSKWHAKSHJ QINGQUE WITH A WORKAHOLIC OLDER SIBLING....... HELP ME i love this dynamic. [name] always chiding her and bullying her (in the most affectionate way possible)... telling her she needs to work more. telling her to stop complaining about being "unreliable qingque" because she wouldn't be if she worked harder. but [name] also gives her credit and praise for when she does pull through! now hear me out--[name] who does not know how to relax. qingque having to actually teach them that there is more to life than work. BUT ALSO [NAME] SCOLDING THE HELL OUT OF HER IF AND WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT SHE WAS SLACKING OFF IN THEIR ABSENCE AND JUST GOING "qingque." IN THE MOST EVIL SCARY TONE EVER WHEN THEY RETURN
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi Love, I hope you're doing alright. I saw both of your posts about not doing well and getting medicine for your panic disorder.
And I wanna say. I'm so proud of you for taking that step. The first step of getting a doctor and getting the meds is always the hardest.
I do have a few tips, although I don't have a panic disorder. I have severe depression, anxiety and adhd.
(Down below is quite a bit of info. Perhaps even scary/nervewracking. And I'm not trying to scare you so I'm so sorry if I do. I just want you to know some things that I didn't personally know when I first started taking meds)
I want to note though. Keep your head up. Don't stop trying. The first medicine doesn't always work for everyone. The whole process is trial and error to find the one that works for you. So if it doesn't help, don't feel too bad yeah?
I know that for me, it took 5 different types before getting to Zoloft which works for me. And I'm currently on my 4th attempt to find one for my Adhd.
I read in your thing of if get weightloss from meds. I'm sure your doctor mentioned it but I want to mention it. If you're someone whose weight fluctuates and you find your self lose or gain 10 pounds. It's not bad. But keep an eye on it, make sure it's not a constant and only a sudden one and done.
For me. Zoloft made me gain 15 pounds. And after trying so many times to get a med to work. I honestly don't care. I'd rather be mentally okay. Ofc it's different for everyone but just know it's normal.
Something my doctor never mentioned, was be absolutely careful when it comes to missing your meds. Some meds it's totally okay to just drop it. But others like Zoloft and high dosages, If you cold turkey it, it can Hurt a lot.
If you get any symptoms of feeling sick within first two days of taking a new med. Stop. Idc what a doctor says "you'll get used to it" or "it's a gradual thing" absolutely not. The pain and suffering of getting sick from a medicine is not worth it. I tried powering through once before and I severely regret it.
There's good doctors and bad doctors. Good who actually do the research on meds and bad who go based off of old informational packets.
Idk about most meds. But if a doc says "this used to be used for this. But it's not anymore cause it doesn't work" DONT. if you get prescribed it. Research it before taking one.
I got prescribed blood pressure meds that my doctor said "isn't used to treat that anymore" and said it will help me sleep. I probably almost died cause I already have low blood pressure and got given meds to lower blood pressure.
That's all I can remember at the moment. But If you have any questions, you're more than welcome to come to my DMs.
I really hope you have a safe experience and find something that helps you. We all care for you and wish you the best.
Hello my sweet kind anon🤍 Whoever you are, this means lot to me, you coming into my askbox to encourage me. You're sweetheart🤍🤍
No worrries, you didn't scare me at all !! I am thankful for these tips!!
Yes, you're totally right!! I know, mental health is more important than number of your weight and I need to learn that. If I will be heavier but happier, I won't care too!!
Oh my, I didn't know that!!! That it isn't good to feel sick when taking meds! My doctor didn't tell me about it😶 Thank you so much for telling me, oh my god!! I just need to talk about my doctor about it! And I need to change my meds probably too! 🤔
Oh my god, I am sorry for you that you almost died!!! That's horrible but it's doctor's fault!! How could this happen??!! This stuff shouldn't NEVER happen. Some doctors really should think before saying!!!
But you know what, I am happy for you that you found meds - Zoloft and that it helped you!!
i just had phone call with my doctor, i am gonna take other meds!!
Thank you so much sweet nonnie, you're an angel!! And I am here for you too, if you needed me, anytime. I'll try to help you. I love you so much!
And you're damn strong!! Know that
We all can do that!!!!
1 note
·
View note
Note
ROSE I SWEAR TO GOD WHAT THE HELL ITS HAPPENING????? AT THIS POINT I JUST THINK THEY JUST FORGOT TO COME OUT????? THEY ARE ACTING LIKE THAT AND BEING “WAIT WHY ARE PEOPLE FREAKING OUT SO MUCH”???? OH MY LITERAL GOD HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAP
y'all weren't kidding when you said you could feel something big was coming huh. sigh. hi! welcome to: the gang freaks out about misha's text in my inbox
instantly my first thought upon seeing misha’s text: “he sounds like that in the morning.”
they woke up together on the regular <3
GUNSHOTS WAKE UP DID YOU SEE MISHA’S TEXT??? he misses jensen so much :(((
yes :(( and me too :((
*adjusts tinhat* d-do you think misha originally took that photo to send to jensen? like a “hurry up and come in here, the pink blankey and i miss you.” ...
oh my god anon its too early for this i dont need to get emotional!!! on god i believe he texts him pics like this every day
have you seen misha's text yet??
no
girl wake up new cockles content
july is gonna be our month i can feel it!!!!!!!!
hi did anybody else get the fact that he never said that pic was while filming supernatural. like it was a little weird to not add 'in vancouver while filming [episode title]' My theory is that its a little joke because that pic is ACTUALLY in jensens apartment NOW when hes filming the boys from like a week ago. It seems like something he would do amen
oh my god i cant do 'cockles are living together rn' truthing today but you are very brave <3
ROSE ROSE ROSE ARE YOU AWAKE????? MISHA’S JENSEN TEXT!!! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I’M SCREAMING????? HELP!!! what 👏🏽 was 👏🏽 the 👏🏽 reason 👏🏽 misha ??? he really said i miss my march 1st baby OUTLOUD without really saying it outright i- MISHA WHATS UR @ SERIOUSLY!! - 🦋 anon
misha said happy pride to my husband and our perceivers and i thank him for that <3
Rose I hope you have a very nice sleep and are not suffering throughout this major cockles event in the middle of the night. ANYWAYS I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY I CAN'T BREATHE 'SPARE ROOM' 'HIS BLANKY' SIR - anon anon
*looks into the camera* so anyways i woke up pretty much around the time you messaged me this and i am dead tired now
hehehe once again you've made the mistake of going to bed. I think imma stay up to see your reaction to the sleepover in a few hours ;) -🐢
hope i didnt dissapoint dsjhfsjfhsjhf
I’m just here to apologize that once again you were asleep when the fandom decided to start on fire <3
thank you darling i feel like i deserve some financiel compensation tbh
To all of the other anons who will undoubtedly be in gunshot's traditional freak out post with me (looking forward to all of y'alls reactions 😂), I really hope you've enjoyed this fantastic ending to pride month. Misha really chose to share that info wth us!! I haven't slept much this week because each night gets crazier. We're all thriving in this dumpster right now - 🐢
god bless we ARE all thriving!!!!
i cant deal with the Love You script dropping on the same day that misha posts both a t&s pride post and That Text. so misha is invested enough to know that the script dropped today in all likelihood. and. i. help. help. help.
🍭
yeah yeah yeah exactly nonnie exactly
my tumblr has been crazy, i haven't been able to send you asks until now 🥺 my posts are not showing in the tags...anyway tumblr staff already fix the problem with the asks so at least I can be loud in here.
crazy everything is just crazy! Misha's post, Misha's message, Goodbye Stranger script...all I'm missing is for Jensen to pull a heller!Jensen on main and i'm dead
Hope you have a beautiful day!!
-🐣
yeah tumblr fucked up and turned on my asks yesterday wtf, i hope your problem gets fixed soon!
and i hope you have the best day too!!!
we get to see misha today too i can't do this
oh god me neither
THEY WERE DOING LAUNDRY TOGETHER AFTER ALL
JDFHJSHFHSJ YEAH FUCKING HELLLL
this is just me speculating but is it a coincidence Misha is thinking about “lasts” especially the last night sleeping at Jensen’s, on the last day of pride????? *insert incredibles coincidence I think not gif*
its never a coincidence, everything this chaos machine does is on purpose
You woke up much earlier than expected! I legit thought that I had lost track of time scrolling through the madness that is the cockles tag right now. Sorry that you're going to be dragging for the rest of your day. Misha ensures that only he gets sleep when he pulls these stunts -🐢
lmao it was already light outside and i kept thinking about the misha text so i thought fuck it lets forget sleep, i need to cockles truth on main before i have to go to work <3
I’m sorry. I died. 🦚
me too!
*head in hands*, affectionate - tea anon
happy second month of pride everyone
cheers to that!!
had a thought: that one time the fan asked misha about them sharing clothes in 2018 and he joked, “it’s easy for our clothes to get mixed up, that’s all. whose is whose, you know, when you’re putting it on.” and “now everyone’s like ‘hmm, how’d the laundry get mixed up, guys?’” i hate him. i hate that it’s not implausible now. i hate.
how many times do i have to tell y'all that misha uses jokes to mask the truth <3 he was telling us the truth!
#butterfly anon#anon anon#turtle anon#lollipop anon#hatching chick anon#peacock anon#tea anon#anyways gotta get ready for work now lmaooooo
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Huge Ego?
Pairing: Thor x Male Reader
Word Count: 800 (short, sorry!)
Warnings: Anxiety, Sadness, angst, lots of self doubt Fluff and Happy endings (mentions of offscreen sex towards the end)
Requested by: Anon-Hey sorry to bother you, but would you be able to write a fic of Bucky or Thor? If you want to know any info about me for the fic incase you want to put me in as the y/n. I’m 5’, I have below shoulder length hair, my friends say I have a feminine body for being male as well. I’m not good with requests so sorry if I’m all over the place...
Storyline: Anxiety riddled witch male reader is still a badass with a hot boyfriend (sadly badassery is offscreen)
A/N: I was yet again listening to Marina and the Diamonds and I got double inspired. Also anon I included some of your descriptions but I tried to make the rest of the story general for other readers. I hope you enjoy!!!
Okay most of this was though of/ written in September of 2018. It is August of 2020, I’m so sorry it took me forever to release this. I think I made it angstier but hopefully it pays off in the end. I’m now listening to Ribs by Lorde but thanks Marina. Also this totally disregards endgame.
------------------------------------------------------------
You were reluctant to join the avengers. Especially after hearing about how confrontational they were. It was weird how much they argued or how they sometimes acted like the world revolved around them. Like come on, you are superheroes with no secret identities, everything you do will be broadcasted all over the news. Reporters will scrutinize your every behavior, every change in your look, every curve of your body, and you’re just okay with it? Okay with embarrassing yourselves publicly by squabbling like a married couple?
It’s like having a huge ego was a requirement to become an avenger. One box you couldn’t check. With that being said you did want to be an avenger. You needed to be an avenger. So what else could you do but fake it. Act like you're better than everyone else otherwise you have to face reality. You didn’t want to admit that you felt a need to be an avenger so your life could have purpose. And you definitely didn’t want to admit that I was afraid that no one would ever need me in their life.
So far faking it has relatively worked out great. You joined the avengers, kicked some ass, and got a hot boyfriend. Yeah, hot boyfriend.
Thor has made you feel like I’ve never felt before. He makes you feel loved and appreciated. NEEDED. He needs your love because he wants it, he relishes in it. And you honestly can’t deny you feel the same way. Yet you’re terrified that everyone else will realize I’m not as confident as I seem and I’m scared that they’ll figure out that they don’t need me. And the bolder I pretend to be the safer I feel.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
“How does so much ego fit in a body so short? I mean come on he’s shorter than Tony but acts just like him” clint asks as soon as Y/N is out of earshot
“That’s because it’s fake” thor answers
“What?”
“The confidence, it’s all fake”
“Tony’s or Y/N’s?”
“Both! Have you not been paying attention? They’re like loki just divided in two. Tony has deeply rooted psychological problems most probably stemming from his father and Y/n has been suffering from anxiety. He’s been afraid that we’ll leave him because of his faults. He’s afraid we don’t love him like he loves us and I’ve just about had enough. I’ve quietly tried to show him that he means the world to me and the rest of the team would suffer without him but he doesn’t believe it. I can’t convince him on my own so everyone needs to find a way to let Y/N know how you really feel about him.” Thor explained
---------------------------------------
You laid in bed next to the god you had the pleasure of calling your boyfriend. You ran your hand through his hair while looking in his eyes. Thor rested his forehead on yours placing his hand behind your head, slowly rubbing his thumb behind your ear before inhaling deeply.
“My love” thor began “I have told the others about your issues with anxiety. I’m sorry for betraying your trust but I’m not sorry for letting your friends know you’re struggling. Now that they know they can help and I want you to get all the help there is”
“Thor I don’t know what you want to say. I’m not sorry that you told them. I’m not sorry that I hid it and I’m not sorry that you told me. Everything that has happened led me to this moment. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m surrounded by love and doing good in the world. The only thing I’m sorry about is making you suffer with me. I love you and I love our friends. To me there is nothing better than just lying here in your arms, thinking one day I’ll marry this man. That day may not be today but it’ll come soon. In the meantime I want you to make love to me. I want you to set every nerve in my body on fire while you whisper sweet nothings in my ear.”
You woke up the next morning so appreciative of the world for finally allowing something to go right for once. Thor had been the reason the team had been more expressive, and not even just because he made them, you could tell they meant it. It didn’t chase off every negative thought but it did make you feel like you had a safe space to be yourself, confident day or not.
Thor may not have been perfect, but in between explaining the most simple of ‘midgardian’ customs and tools, he paid attention.
You sighed as your eyes fluttered closed once more. The last thought before your consciousness slipped away
“Himbo Rights.”
#thor x male reader#x male reader#male reader#male reader insert#marvel x male reader#thor odinson x male reader#x you#x y/n#thor x y/n#male#that-bi-bitch-writes
173 notes
·
View notes
Note
I absolutely ♥️ADORE♥️ Scripted and would love to read your director’s commentary for it!
Oh, anon!! 😍 I'm SO THRILLED that you loved Scripted so much, that makes me so happy!! 🥰 Especially that you loved it enough to want to read my "director's commentary" (that phrase makes me laugh, you'd think I created a feature length film all by myself 🤣), so I think I'll skim through the fic - it's been a while since I re-read it - & make a bullet-point list of any special BTS info I can think of 😊 Anddd I'll also put it under a read more cause you know me, I never use one word when one hundred will do 😂
So, the fic itself was inspired by the ending of 5.08 where Liz wakes from her coma to Red reading to her in an armchair as he had been for the past 10 months, it's fine, I'm fine but she still has a ventilator in so she can't talk & instead has to write "how long?" on a piece of paper & her handwriting is super shake-y bc her muscles are so weak (I think Red even helps her hold the pen? It's clearly been a while since I re-watched the ep whoops but ugh, be still my heart.) For some reason, I just latched onto the idea of a mute Liz, really suffering with the implications of everything she went through (since her recovery was so glossed over in the show boo) & Red 1000% being there for her. Mostly, I just wanted to dive into the dynamic of Liz letting Red care for her the way he's always wanted to (without Tom & Agnes btw) to the point where their relationship is unhealthy in its reliance, but neither can see it bc Liz is blocking things out (& unknowingly falling in love with him) & Red is just so thrilled to be able to love & care for her (while already deeply in love with her obvi). So yeah, that was the kind of dynamic & closeness I wanted to explore between them & it was... really fun 😊
The idea of the coma providing the perspective Liz needed to see that Red has always had her best interests at heart & clearly loves her (in addition to the fact that he never left her side or gave up during those 10 months lol peak romance tbh) seemed very organic & logical to me.
I liked the idea of Red & Liz playing board games as a way to pass the time & get to know each other better. It's the kind of casual interaction we were never gifted with in the show & I think they're both competitive in the right circumstances, even if its playfully so.
I liked the idea of Liz being urged to learn ASL, as I'm deaf in one ear & would dearly love to learn it at some point.
The detail of Red sleeping on a cot close enough to Liz's hospital bed that they can hold hands in their sleep was a total guilty pleasure addition & I'm not sorry.
I loved the scene in the beginning where Red is talking to Dembe on the phone in the hallway & Liz is practicing her letters. She's purely doing it so Red doesn't worry & I loved the idea of her being apathetic to everything except Red's concerns, plus I added in the parenthetical of (Red sometimes squints at her k's.) bc I thought it represented that well, but also bc it was just cute af. I also added the little detail of him waving at her through the window at the last minute bc I thought the scene needed something else & once I pictured that, it was too adorable to leave out.
Red handling all the details of Liz's care & transportation without asking (bc he instinctively knew that's what Liz wanted) only to turn around & panic about excluding her seemed like a very RED thing to do & I like how it emphasizes his well-meaning intentions, respect for her preferences, & desire to see her happy, even if she did actually want to leave him lol as if.
I liked the visual of Liz stumbling into Red's arms as she stands from her hospital bed to leave with him (sets a precedent for later) & I also loved the visual of a pen in her ponytail & of course Red using it to flirt a little bc come on.
I remember struggling to write the car ride transition to the lake house. I usually get ideas & visions for specific scenes, moments, or bits of dialogue, so those kind of transition moments are hard for me sometimes. But I liked that I settled on Red helping to ground Liz through touch (again, sets a precedent for later).
Red & Liz playing hangman in the car with Red using the word "fedora" & drawing a suited hangman made me giggle.
I can see the lake house very clearly in my mind, complete with the willow tree, bench, & tiny house (included bc I desperately want a tiny house in real life) & I really enjoyed describing the interior & imagining the joy Red would get out of decorating it with Liz in mind.
Their first night in the house where Liz has her nightmare & Red comforts her - that was a scene I had in mind very early on & I love how it turned out, especially with Liz mouthing "stay with me" into Red's neck, that part gave me All The Feels™.
The "morning after" scene where Liz realizes on some level that she's too dependent on Red is an important moment in the fic & the off-hand detail that at least "she's not going around murdering people & calling it therapy" was a bit of shade to Ruin (which I don't think I ever saw bc I was kind of appalled with the idea lol) I think I posted Scripted after Ruin aired... if not, I guess I'm psychic?? LOL
The breakfast scene - & the fact that Red is preparing every breakfast food known to man bc he's nervous too - is near & dear to my heart. I think that's a pretty pivotal scene since they kind of reach an unspoken agreement & peace &... "things settle after that first breakfast."
I liked the teeny little parenthetical section that comes next as well, which acts as a sort of middle point for the fic.
The next large chunk of the fic was pure indulgence for me. I LOVED writing about all the different things they would do together when it was just the two of them, it was basically a collection of Lizzington headcanons & that's how I sketched them out LOL Here's some notes on them:
I came up with the jigsaw puzzle headcanon (that Liz is bored by them bc they're easy for her bc she's a trained psychologist & easily sees patterns in things) late in the editing process but loved it so much that I included it.
Liz's sandwich preference is actually mine LOL
The Monopoly banter was fun af to write bc I love that game.
The love notes Liz leaves around the house for Red is still an all-time favorite headcanon of mine.
I loved the idea of Red reading to Liz in a foreign language, holding the book only for looks, but not actually reading from it at all & instead professing his love for her. I think I've even used that headcanon in another fic LOL
Their movie nights were also something I was dying to include, especially since they include snacks & cuddles.
Their co-sleeping habits were also something I wanted to include & Liz's newly tactile nature is both a symptom of her dependence on Red & also a guilty pleasure thing for me bc we all wanted more of Red & Liz touching on screen, plus I felt obligated to explain through Red that it wasn't sexual in nature (though if I ever get around to writing part 2, that will change 😉)
Dembe being the one to observe & interfere in their situation was an early scene I imagined as well, that was always going to be the climax of the fic (or at least part 1). I so enjoyed writing about Red & Liz's relationship through his eyes bc he just loves them both & only wants to help them.
Another pivotal scene I imagined early on was Liz having a panic attack with Dembe when she discovers Red has left & that was super engaging to write, as well as the reunion between them which... I pretty much wrote the whole fic with the goal of getting to that lovely angst LOL
Red's resolve to finally urge Liz to speak was heart-breaking to write (so naturally I loved it lol what's wrong with me) & in particular the detail of them eating fruit for lunch before he broaches the topic with her & the parenthetical about it being "a sign from the cosmos that they are meant to be together just because they don't eat each other's favorite fruit" made my heart happy even tho it's stupid LOL & when Red asks her if she would ever try to speak again & she responds with a simple written "Why?" that was a huge moment that I loved the angst of, of course. As well as the absolutely gutting: "Lizzie, I miss your voice."
I liked that Liz needs some time to think & accept everything Red forces her to realize at the end, that was super important to me in the resolution of the fic/part 1 & I tried really hard to include both their mentalities there at the end.
The fact that Red hasn't had a drink since he started caring for Liz also made my shipping heart happy.
And - lastly - the fact that the only thing Liz actually says in the whole fic is Red's name? Yeah 🥲🥲🥲
Welp, there you go, anon, I'm not sure if that was interesting to you at all, but I certainly hope so!! I know that was a lot but... it's a long fic, my longest ever, so I figure it's warranted, right?? 😂 Anyway, thank you so much, both for the compliment of loving Scripted AND for wanting to read more about it, anon, you are so sweet!! 🥰 I hope you enjoyed this & much, much love to you, my friend!! ❤️
Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut
#The Blacklist#Lizzington#fanfic#Scripted#ask game#fanfic writers: director's cut#mine#ask#anon#thank you so much for this my friend!!#:D#i hope you enjoyed this#:)#much much love to you!!#<3
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello there :) if this is too out of place then please don’t feel obligated to answer. You mentioned somewhere that you suffer from DDD and I’m currently writing a fanfiction (Gallavich, so it should interest you ;)) where Ian has it. I’ve done my research and my intention is not to use you as a info point, I was just curious how it came about in your case and possibly what are the worst days or how do you make light of the situation? Sending love ❤️
anon! i’m sorry it took me so long to answer, i was kinda debating on whether or not I should share some specific things but i’m ultimately gonna share what i’m comfortable with, hope it helps nonetheless 💙
thank you for thinking of me! i’m already interested in this fic of yours ngl 👀 so DDD is one of those disorders that’s actually pretty well researched and informations about it can be easily found online, so i’m glad you’ve been digging around for them!
if you haven’t already, i’d suggest checking out this article, as well as this one!
as for my own personal experience, i’m gonna put some tws first!
(tws: ddd, derealization, dissociation, bipolar disorder)
also I’m not a medical expert!! this is just my experience with it so don’t take it as advice/the ultimate DDD guide lmao
i’ve personally experienced DDD’s prodrome right when I was going through my first (and hopefully last) psychotic episode, so it was pretty confusing for everyone involved lmao at the time I wasn’t diagnosed with bipolar yet (not type I anyway), so my therapist and psychiatrist decided to assess that before addressing my supposed DDD—they did that because at first, they thought it was just a result of mania. but because it stuck with me well past my recovery from psychosis (I still have it to this day!) they ultimately diagnosed me with it.
apart from what can already be found online—so you might already know the gist of it (in my case, it was caused by the incredible amount of stress my paranoia and delusion were putting me through at that time)—, it was very hard in the beginning to even begin to grasp what was happening to me. it’s such a bizarre way of perceiving the world and the people around you it throws you for a loop. plus, it had happened so quickly I was in denial for a good six months after. then like with most things in life, I just got used to it.
there are good days and bad days. like I could wake up one day dissociated as hell and not recognize my own mom, and maybe the next day wake up with a full face of make-up I have no recollection of doing the night before—or something lighthearted like that. it’s a lot of ups and downs (ironically lmao) but once you stop fighting against it and just let yourself experience it, no matter how scary and isolating it feels, you will eventually accept it.
for Ian (if you’re going with a canon-like Ian that is) i think it would be pretty rough and challenging at first. he’s so empathetic and such a go-getter he would probably have a hard time with how debilitating DDD is in the beginning, what with seemingly not being able to care or connect as deeply or as in technicolor (idk how to describe the feeling!) as he always does with everyone or not being able to do something with himself because of the dissociation.
hope this helped! if you need anything else my DMs are open 😌
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
1) about the social class headcanon that you write, that’s actually makes sense, but isn’t exactly what i meant. According to Isayama, Hange when she was young looked very much like Eren in the way of acting (even more with the titans), and (this part I am not sure if it is true) she lost her family at the fall of the maria wall. Eren looked like a rebellious teenager angry at everything, and recently I found out that depression in teenagers and children tends to manifest itself that way
2) (anger and rebellion), well, we know Eren was depressed (it only got worse with time) but what about Hange? seems to me she learned to hide her feelings so it wouldn't be between her and her job. We don't know her past, she probably didn't grow up in a violent place like Levi but it doesn't mean that her life was all joy and happiness you know..
--------------------------------------------- MY ANSWER --------------------------------------
Hello Anon,
Thank you again for your ask! Woops, sorry if I didn’t answer your questions. I answered those two asks in a row so I ended up just building off of the last one.
I don’t think it was ever confirmed if Hange lost her family at the fall of Wall Maria. I did some research and couldn’t find stuff on my end. If you could send me some on that, I’d love to read it.
I am aware at least that no one’s life is all joy or happiness. I think there is a difference though with growing up without ever having to consider your next meal and living in abject poverty.
There are people who have had time to be a child and there are people who haven’t. So I think to a degree, Hange had more of a childhood than Levi. And a normal childhood is incredibly important for every single child. The early years are crucial because that’s where children build wonder, curiosity. That’s one of the psychological reasons behind children’s books. They make everything so fantastical to heighten the senses of the children. Because in fact, children only get full control of their senses later in life. Before they are even able to make sense of everything, everything is just a huge bubble or conglomeration of senses. That’s why children are so perceptive, imaginative and quick to learn things like languages. Their view of the world isn’t set yet by the rules and norms of the society they live in.
That’s why asking children questions and exposing them to so many different things at a young age and providing for them is important. Children need to see the wonder of the world while not having to consider their next meal, their danger. A childhood is generally where curiosity and imaginative thinking is most easily built.
And that’s why I say, that Hange somehow is a lot more curious, sees a lot more wonder than Levi. Similar to Erwin, he had a pretty comfortable existence, he went to a good school, he had a father who engaged him and that’s why Erwin was able to think beyond what was within the walls. Same for both Eren and Armin. Eren had his father who probably fed him some info and Armin had his parents books and his parents who were curious enough to build that hot air balloon
And, I know about that scene in the manga that explained that it was the lightness of the titan head that got Hange curious about titans. I think kicking the titan head was a good catalyst for titan research but I suspect that even before that, Hange was curious about the outside world. Hange’s interest extends beyond titans for sure because it was confirmed by Isayama already that Hange would have been studying botany outside the walls if it wasn’t for the titans. Also, the way Hange is handling the new world where she’s constantly on top of developments in Paradis etc, also shows that titans are only one facet of her scientist personality.
Besides, if she didn’t have that wonder and curiosity about the outside world, I don’t think she would have done something as ridiculous as join the survey corps in the first place.
“Eren looked like a rebellious teenager angry at everything, and recently I found out that depression in teenagers and children tends to manifest itself that way”
Although depression can manifest itself in anger, similar to Eren’s probably, there’s no exact formula for how humans react to anything. It’s incredibly complex that the field of psychology (or any other field) is just a conglomerate of people and a bunch of reports and the people trying to make sense of all the results of the experiments they made. This is particularly true in the social sciences where any findings won’t point to anything as exact as those in the pure sciences.
Anger and rebellion could also stem from someone having grown up in a rich family with strict rules on how to go about this and that is generally how it fits into my head canon. Someone can have a good relationship with their family while at the same time have qualms about how they were raised. To be honest, I’m probably the same way. I grew up in a relatively well off family, I was a generally angry teenager but I admittedly have a generally positive relationship with my family.
Okay to tackle the issue on depression
<Trigger Warning on Depression>
I don’t want to be quick as to define any action or any emotional analysis as depression. Depression is an incredibly complex subject, there are biological causes, life events and it manifests itself in so many different ways. So many different ways in fact, that people are rarely diagnosed with just depression. There are always diagnoses which accompany it.
To be honest, I went through a period in time also where I was considering ending it. I was sleeping a lot. I quit everything. I went straight home from school. Barely talked to anyone. I talked to a counselor about it, then a therapist but it took them months before they wanted to give the diagnosis of depression. I actually never pushed through with the sessions after a while, got busy with school and eventually, this cleared up on its own weirdly. I’ll never know actually if I was depressed during that period in time. Was I going through very stressful life events, definitely. Were my answers to the tests they were giving me alarming then? Probably. They could have pointed to depression. But I generally got past it and am generally a happier person now without much intervention. So was it even considered depression? I’ll never know. Some people who are probably much stronger than me needed interventions to stay functional. They needed to make radical life decisions, like move out from their parents place, change their courses to keep going. They needed meds to keep functioning everyday.
Depression is a complex and terrifying condition and manifests itself in so many different ways. In fact, talking to some friends who really watched their life spiral down because of this shitty condition. Towards the later stages of depression, they weren’t even feeling anything anymore.
Could Hange have been experiencing symptoms similar to depression? Definitely. General teenage anger and hormones can manifest as symptoms of depression. Grief can manifest with symptoms of depression. Loss can manifest with symptoms of depression. Trauma can manifest with symptoms of depression. Hange will have experienced a lot of things that
Note : Also Eren’s depression? I honestly think given the experiences he had, inheriting the founding titan and inheriting centuries worth of trauma, I think his experience is beyond fathomable for the average person so I chalk that as completely something else.
Okay, to answer your question, Hange was probably not in the best mental state late into Season 4.
Of course she wasn’t, she lost Moblit, she lost Erwin and suddenly she was pulled into a place with so much responsibility. And she was probably suffering from a case of survivor’s guilt on top of that.
Hiding emotions comes down a lot to discipline, self control and the general strength of your inhibitions.. Emotions are manageable like I could say, I have successfully stopped myself many times from punching someone in the face. Someone’s ability to stop themselves from acting on impulses, someone’s ability to manage their inhibitions is dependent on numerous factors like home environment etc. It is also dependent on the context of that moment where someone has to choose between punching someone in the face or walking away, on the context of that moment where people choose between lying in bed and letting the day go by and standing up and plastering a smile on their face. I guess, that’s the point I wanted to make in a previous post. If Hange did grow up rich, she probably found it a little easier, to plaster a smile on her face because not ever having to experience desperation at an early age, coming to the realization that you’ve had it easier than a lot of people growing up, can do that to people.
But yes, towards the end of season 4, she was going through something. She was struggling, despite her smiling face. But really, in attack on titan, who is happy post chapter 122? Like I cannot think of a single person in that manga who is happy at that point. Please tell me if you can think of anyone.
Would I chalk up Hange’s true feelings to depression?
Manifestations of depression maybe? Post traumatic stress? Stress with little time to process anything or rest? Exhaustion? Not being in the best mental state? Maybe.
I wouldn’t use the word depression definitely.
Depression is an incredibly heavy world with so many implications. In fact, it’s a medical condition which needs to be diagnosed thus, I wouldn’t use that at all to describe anyone’s situation unless they have had multiple consultations with multiple doctors and have been laid a final diagnosis.
I hope this clears things up.
Thank you for the ask again. I appreciate it :D
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hello!! I see that your matchups are open and I was wondering if I could get a Living Room and Bedroom one? Living Room would be more preferable if u can’t do both. I’m not sure if this is enough to cover both…I’m sorry agdhshdhejdbjdj
I’m not sure if u can do this but could u make this anon too? You can associate me by this emoji: 🕺
Here’s the info:
PRONOUNS: she/her
PERSONALITY (Living Room): I am generally very shy and closed off, always making sure I avoid people. I stay away from large crowds because I’m a ball of anxiety (I get anxiety easy) and I get really nervous whenever someone approaches me, especially around guys like I usually won’t look at them in the eyes because I become a blushy mess and lose my words. I am also usually very quiet too and don’t talk a lot.
However, when I talk to my close friends, I literally become Hinata (no joke). I get so hyped, energetic, cheerful, make my friends laugh, and help them a lot too. I am also very passionate about things. When I am suffering with a problem, I don’t like telling friends because I don’t wanna worry them because I feel bad. I end up telling my best friend (they are literally Kageyama to me LOL). I also apologize a lot if I felt I did something wrong and I am quite odd to my friends. I end up getting into playful banter with my close friends where I tease them with playful jokes. I am quite observant too since I don’t usually talk to people, so I notice things from afar. I can tell if a friend of mine has a slight change in their behavior and I will ask if they are ok to be sure. I am also very honest, straightforward and pretty blunt about things.
Do not get me upset. It takes a lot for someone to make me upset and actually angry. The most I would get is being annoyed. However, if you managed to get me angry, I lose my temper and yell and my friends have mentioned it’s as if I would snap someone in two. I do curse like crazy so people get surprised since I am usually quiet. Again it is rare, but I’ve been told it’s scary when I get angry. I will eventually be alone to recharge and wouldn’t want anybody to talk to me.
When it comes to relationships, I don’t have that much experience…I hate PDA so I’m really private. I’m actually afraid to love somebody because I’m afraid I won’t be good at all so if somebody was crushing on me and shows affection, I try to divert that attention to something else because I get shy and get so scared. Again it’s hard to look at someone I like in the eyes because I blush so much. It’s hard to show affection by words so I show it by actions like hugs. I would love to hold their hands, caressing them or squeezing them just to feel the comfort and warmth. I think I might be very tender and gentle but I think as I open up, I might get cheery and energetic but that’s a theory. I do try my best to make them happy even if it takes me a while to get comfortable and I’ll try to shower them with love by physical actions. Maybe I’ll draw for them too to make them happy…
I love art. I love to draw for my friends because I love seeing them get so excited for the finished product. I also love listening to music every day so when I’m alone and away from everyone, I just blast music through my headphones. I love gaming too so you’d find me playing the Switch!
I am a perfectionist, hardworking and always try my best even if I get put down. Sometimes I might overwork when it comes to drawing but that’s because I get so eager to improve every day. I also love to give support to my friends for their dreams and but I am not an optimist or pessimist, I am a realist.
IN BEDROOM: Pretty much the same when it comes down to relationships. I get extremely flustered and shy about physical affection and worry if I’m not good at all. I might be a bottom aagdhhshdhsjdjd I just don’t see myself having confidence in these kinds of experiences. I would love if somebody was gentle and passionate with me tho…Since I don’t rly interact with people in the public, I think I might be touch starved so any physical affection might drive me crazy (in the good way). As flustered as I get, I am pretty dirty-minded.
ZODIAC: Aries
THINGS I LOOK FOR IN A PARTNER: quiet, calm, observant, passionate, playful, a tease, cold yet caring, strong, emotional, empathetic, kind, understanding, respectful, and not afraid to speak their mind
HOGWARTS HOUSE: Gryffindor!!
FAV FOOD: I loveeee food. I am always hungry for food. I love spicy food especially. I love pasta/spaghetti, pizza, sushi, and I love chicken burgers
FUTURE PLANS/DREAMS: I just hope to be successful and actually feel happy. I hope I’ll land a good position for art like for animation or games (especially if it’s anime-related!) I’m not sure if I’ll find someone to settle down with but only time will tell.
MUSIC TASTE: Rock, J-Rock, Future Funk, Lofi, and I adore anime and video game OST
LOOKS: I’m smol like 5'3. I have light skin but not pale (it’s like Hinata’s) and I have red/brown hair and brown eyes. I also have little freckles on my cheeks
I’m so sorry if it’s so much but maybe it helps ; __ ; Thank u for doing these and make sure to take breaks!!
————————————————-
Hello and welcome, dear! This is wonderful - thank you for all the details, it gives me a lot to work with! ❤️ I’m so excited to get started with this. Let’s go to the living room! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶
For you, I’ve invited over…
Kita Shinsuke! (Runner up: Sugawara Koushi)
Our lovely Inarizaki captain may come off as cold and stoic, but he’s really just unbothered my trivial things. He strives for improvement daily, and ensures he goes through the motions before reaching perfection.
- When you two first meet, I don’t think there will be a lot of interaction there - but when there is, it’s definitely more comfortable than it is awkward. Kita has the effect on people that makes them feel safe and secure, like all the pressures of life just disappear for a moment
- This is how your friendship starts. He proves himself more and more approachable by the day. You’re both straightforward and observant people, so you two would probably tag-team when interacting with other people. He’ll make you feel secure in the friendship despite his no-nonsense bluntness, while he appreciates that you aren’t a flashy person
- The fact that you’re a hardworking perfectionist helps him relate to you on a deeper level. He’d be so happy to find someone who understands this part of him
- He will probably make himself more present in your life by doing little things - helping you clean up after class, sending you tips on how to study for a subject you’re having trouble with, offering an ear for you to rant if he notices something’s off
- He does everything slowly and with very close precision, all in the hopes of you becoming more comfortable around him
- the man is near perfect, what more can I say
- OF COURSE he succeeds. He’s Kita Shinsuke
- Don’t worry, he won’t be thrown off by your more playful side once it comes out. Kita most likely already got hints of your sunshine here and there while he was slowly gaining your trust
- Once he feels like it’s the perfect time, only THEN will he ask you out
- Let out your inner gremlin!!!!! He can 100% handle it, since he’s so used to the chaos of his team by now and he has somehow remained?? completely SANE?? what a man
- AND the difference is, he LIKES YOU!!!1!!!!!!!1!!
- He will adore all your little quirks, and may even participate in your playful banter
- Does not mind that you’re not into PDA. Hell, he might even be relieved–
- He’d notice how you try to divert affection, and will try to talk to you about it. You won’t have to say much, he’ll be able to tell from your body language that it’s because you’re anxious to love somebody, and will never take that against you
- Will work on trying to break through those walls, but wouldn’t ever force it
- Prepare for a beautiful domestic future 🥺🥺🥺 a simple life on a farm in the Japanese countryside with the man of your dreams?? You, an artist, and him, a farmer???? The absolute PUREST domestic dream 😭😭😭
~
You were sat in your worktable, sketching away the morning. A deadline was fast approaching, so you could hardly allow yourself to rest - so the first thing you did today, as with most days, was work.
The art block hit a few days back. Your nights have recently been filled with drooping eyes paired with a throbbing headache, and they were now slowly eating up your mornings, too. You massaged your neck, sore from hunching over your desk so much - all you could at the moment was stare at the now blank sheet in front of you. You weren’t satisfied with any of the pieces you made, so you always ended up scrapping whatever it is that you were doing.
You were snapped out of your daze at the sound of the cuckoo clock. You noticed that you were gripping the pen a little too hard, causing some redness on your fingertips. A frustrated groan escaped you as your hands rubbed circles into your temples. The morning felt so dull.
The time read 7AM. Two hours on the desk and not a single thing, you thought to yourself. Like clockwork, you heard the door open and close as Kita came back from field work. He stopped in his tracks upon seeing you.
“You’re awake?” His tone was more concerned than surprised. He had witnessed your restlessness these past few days, doing whatever he can to ease your frustration a a little bit. This wasn’t anything new to him, seeing as you were both workaholics, but he couldn’t help but worry about how this deadline was treating you.
You managed a weak smile as you met his eyes. He looked pretty in the morning light - sweat trickling down his neck, some of his hair clinging to his forehead, lips slightly parted to allow better breathing. It was rare for you to see him like this since he usually gets up and finishes work before you get up. The sight comforted you a bit, as if the bleakness dissipated for a little while.
He walked over to the coffee machine to run it. “Still no luck?”
“I’ve been at it since 5AM.” You let out an exasperated sigh. “I woke up when you went out to work. I couldn’t go back to sleep thinking about it.”
He hummed in acknowledgment. The two of you stayed quiet for a while, with only the sounds of the coffee machine and birds chirping. The peacefulness almost sunk in until you were reminded of the stress looming over your head. You let out another sigh.
You were staring down the blank sheet again, sick of the emptiness it posed. With a pen in hand, you tried to mimic the motions of drawing strokes, hoping for a sudden burst of inspiration. Nothing.
Kita laid a cup of coffee next to you. “You barely slept, y/n. At least eat a bit.” That elicited no response from you - all you could do was lean back in your chair, feet put up onto the seat.
Your boyfriend placed his finger under your chin, making you look up at him standing next to you. “Y/n.”
He examined your expression - you were so tired; redness peaked from the corners of your eyes, and your lips were almost pale. “You need food in your system, y/n.”
“I don’t have time to eat, Shin, this is–”
“Food is what the brain runs on. Even a child knows that,” he teased as he pulled you on your feet and led you to the kitchen table, “Eat.”
You had no choice but to oblige. You plucked a banana from its bunch, munching away while Shin scrambled some eggs. Before you knew it, a breakfast was spread out in front of you. The brown-eyed boy pressed a kiss at the top of your head as you praised him. “I don’t deserve you,” you said with a smile.
“It’s just breakfast,” he chuckled, “and you do deserve me. You deserve the world.”
The world suddenly felt full of color again, and you were ready to face the dreary white that’s been mocking you the whole week.
~
I hope that was alright with you, dear! Let’s head over to the bedroom ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶
Look who’s here for some alone time!
Semi Eita! (Runner up: Kageyama Tobio)
One of the prettiest setters to date, Semi here has his moments of sincerity despite the scary attitude he puts up. He comes off as a domineering personality, but I feel like in the bedroom, he’d be incredibly tender.
- Don’t believe the mask he puts up. Semi bb is a big softie for his s/o!!!!! CHANGE MY MIND
- In the bedroom, you well-being would be TOP priority - he would constantly ask you if this or that is okay, and make sure your comfortable with whatever the two of you are doing
- Your first time would be SO intimate: if you planned it beforehand, he’d go as far as laying out candles, setting up a fragrance to fill the room, and maybe even laying out roses; if it isn’t planned, he’d hold you close the whole time, and won’t really get rough with how he handles you
- Has enough confidence to take the lead. He’s pretty self-assured, and this will really translate in the bedroom
- Knows where to touch you and is gentle about it, making sure to test things out first before going at it
- When he gets to know your more dirty side, that’s when he brings up stuff he’d like to try out. Try surprising him every now and then by telling him you want to try something new ( ･ิω･ิ)
- Oh, his moans. SO GOOD. They’re soft, but so raw, and it would almost sound melodic. Would also chant your name a lot
- I can’t imagine him being loud in the bedroom, but he’d definitely be into dirty talk - I imagine it’s one of his top kinks - more praising than degrading
- He’s also into choking, unless you’re not comfortable with it, then for sure, he wouldn’t force it on you
- MAKES THE PRETTIEST O FACES. WHAT I’D GIVE TO SEE IT
- Would lay on top of you (or under, whichever position you were in) for a while before aftercare. He wants some time to hold you while winding down
- Aftercare would be quick but careful - he wants to ensure that he’s got everything covered
- The epitome of Making Love, as opposed to simply “having sex”
~
Sorry for the long wait, darling! I hope you enjoyed all of that, and thank you so much for your patience. Feel free to pay me another visit, or just sit and chat with me anytime :D
Thanks for stopping by! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ
#livingroom#bedroom#haikyuu!!#haikyuu matchups#haikyu matchups#hq matchups#haikyuu matchup#haikyu matchup#hq matchup#haikyu x reader#haikyu requests#haikyuu requests#haikyu smut#haikyuu smut#hq requests#hq request#haikyu request#haikyuu request#inarizaki#shiratorizawa#kita shinsuke#shinsuke kita#semi eita#eita semi#kita x reader#shinsuke x reader#semi eita x reader#semi eita smut#submission
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fan Fic Tag Game 2020
Ao3 Name: dorypop
Fandoms: hm mostly the raven cycle but i’ve also written for all for the game, harry potter and avatar this year
1. Fic that was the hardest to write/you spent the most time on: skinny fleas. i started writing it before summer, but then i had trouble finding aurora’s voice, and then i started writing other stuff that came easier to me so i just kept procrastinating on this one. but it’s literally the only adam & aurora fic currently up on ao3 and i love the idea and the first 2k words, so i just had to write to be able to read it, you know? i had two weeks of leave from work in october and i spent them finishing wips, and even though i needed some more time after that for the finishing touches i really applied myself to this one.
2. Fic you spent the least time on/easiest to write: the snow is melting (aftg). i honestly had the idea and started typing at a break at work and i didn’t bother to fix plot holes and stuff. i just wrote it in like two days and posted it and moved on with my life.
3. Longest Fic: i’m going to consider all 5 parts in my fifteen years later series as different fics, so it’ll be the miracle came with a pop (52379 words | hp). i didn’t write all that in 2020 but i did finish it this year so let’s say it counts.
4. Shortest Fic: i don't want to screw this up (536 words | atla). it was a short ficlet born from a tumblr prompt.
5. Fic you were nervous to post: hm so i wrote a kinda quarantine/covid fic back in march and at first it was supposed to be this cute “and they were quarantined together” thing but then my brain started providing unhelpful info and the only way i found to deal with how scary everything felt was to write that. i then got a very angry anon comment which was probably my first ever anon hate? so i’m now a bit ashamed of that fic? but i’m not taking it down bc ao3 is an archive so it’ll stay there. plus i like the title (spring will be spring)
6. How do you choose your titles: oh boy. ok so in summer 2019 i started reading haiku poetry from a very pretty bilingual edition of poems by akutagawa. i just fell in love with the format bc it’s normally very visual and evocative but also super short, so my attention span doesn’t suffer. since then i’ve bought a few more books in the same collection and i dog-ear the pages of the poems that i like or that i think could work as titles while i read them. later, when looking for a title, i sit myself to think what the fic is about and browse those dog-eared poems in search of the perfect one. sometimes i’ll also google “spring+haiku” or something if i can’t find the perfect one. then i just choose a line from the poem. i know it’s a lot of work and probably nobody notices but! it makes me happy!
7. Fave Fic you read: oh i got so many! i bookmark all my fav finished fics
8. Fave Fic you wrote: in vino veritas (drunk pynch). it looks really similar to what i was picturing in my mind.
9. Fave comment: i appreciate and love all my comments but i especially like the few i’ve got with requests/suggestions of things to possibly include in my fifteen years later series, bc then i get to plan around those things to maybe put them in the text and it’s super fun!
10. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: i don’t want to rewrite it at all, but one of the aus that i’ve written that i think has space to grow is there is a world (my hogwarts au)
11. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning:
(it’s from part 6 of the fifteen years later series!)
Adam’s phone vibrated in his pocket. It was a text from Harvey.
ronan says to tell u foods ready
Adam snorted. Ronan usually yelled at him to come down.
Adam got up and washed his hands, feeling a pang of shame curl around his ribs. Ronan was probably as freaked out as Adam was, and Adam was here feeling sorry for himself and having a mild anxiety attack while Ronan was braving the fort downstairs. He should be supporting him instead, kissing away the wrinkle he always got between his eyebrows when he worried. This was all Adam’s idea to begin with.
12. What was your goal for your fics this year? Did you meet it?: i didn’t really have a goal? i wasn’t planning on writing so much this year actually! back in january i was only thinking i wanted to finish the miracle came with a pop and then never write long fic ever again, and i’ve mostly succeeded—i just need to think of the installments in my harvey series as separate fics, and i’m good to go!
13. What is your goal for your fics next year?: i have the idea for one more installment for harvey that i’m definitely going to write, and after that i think i might take a break for a while (but maybe i’ll get new ideas?? so i’ll never stop???)
14. Highlight of your fandom year: i’ve met really wonderful people through fandom this year. it’s been hellish and i’ve mostly fled every other social media/platform except from tumblr and ao3, so it’s really wonderful that i still want to come here and talk about fictional stuff
15. Highlight of your personal year: oh well it’s been quite bad? mostly due to covid, sure, but i also had some major things come up back in february and early march that were quite hard, and then i had to learn to live with constant changes of plans. i’ve redecorated my whole room though and it feels really welcoming and cozy so that’s a great thing 2020 has brought.
thank you very much to @creativefiend19 for tagging me!! i’m tagging @ailec-12 @pumpkinpadparadscha & everyone else who feels like doing it!
#trc#fic#aftg#hp#d#tag game#skinny fleas#the snow is melting#the miracle came with a pop#15 years later#spring will be spring#there is a world#snow on bamboo grass#in vino veritas
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi Colour! This is going to be a long one, so buckle up!
Oh wow, that's so precious! You've definitely earned the "real life Dani" nickname haha I wish I could find something meaningful like that to do with my life. I'm actually autistic and have ADHD so hearing you do this kind of work makes me really happy! Keep up the good work Ms. Clayton! 😁 Haha
You sound like a lot of fun to hang out with at pubs! Haha I'm glad you identify with that bit of info on your star placements. I had a lot of fun doing it too!
The thing about Hozier is that some of his lyrics are incredibly sapphic to me for some reason, I'm still trying to figure it out. NFWMB is one of the songs that feels like that to me. Don't know if you've heard it before but give it a try if you haven't. If you close your eyes it sounds like you're in an epic romantic story and there are swords, pretty gowns, and rooms lit by torches. Haha
The beginning of this song was inspired by a poem written by W.B Yeats called "The Second Coming" in 1920, and it talks about an apocalypse of sorts, alluding to all of the horrors men inflicted upon the world which ends up awakening this beast that goes to Jesus's place of birth in the Bible (Bethlehem) to be born. The last lines being:
"And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?"
So the song starts with:
"When I first saw you
The end was soon
To Bethlehem it slouched
And then, it must've caught a good look at you"
And oh boy do I think of Dani when I hear that. Especially bc of that scene where Viola accepts Dani's invitation to live inside her. And nobody knows why she accepts it (but I do!).
And yeah at first glance you might not think much of Dani. in the beginning she's just a tiny frail small-town girl with a lot of anxiety, running away from her past traumas. But she proves us wrong again and again and again. She moves to a country she's never been before entirely by herself, sees an opportunity, and doesn't let go of it even when it looks like it went wrong. Then is very loving and tender with these children who have gone through so much and are still going through so much. Tries to fight (with a fire poker!!) the threatening man that keeps harassing her, the children, and her friends. THEN manages to soften the angry, grumpy lesbian who's given up on people after A LOT of trauma (too much in my opinion) and doesn't give up on her when she rejects her either. Freaking exorcises her ex and makes him stop haunting her so she can be with the love of her life. And then finally as if all of that didn't make her the bravest hero in this story, she literally stops an apocalypse from happening and saves everyone from this beast by sacrificing herself without even thinking twice. Saves everyone that came before her and then the ones who'll come after for the rest of eternity. I mean the P-O-W-E-R this girl has. 💪 so hell yeah the lady in the lake wanted to take her.
When Hozier says:
"Ain't it a gentle sound, the rollin' in the graves?
Ain't it like thunder under earth, the sound it makes?
Ain't it exciting you, the rumble where you lay?
Ain't you my baby? ain't you my baby?"
I can only think of Dani at the bottom of the lake laying on top of all the bones of the people Viola killed and how she's at peace living forever in a dark place like that. That's kinda hardcore y'know?
After the first verses, Hozier goes on to talk abt his lover, someone so utterly terrifying even the beast of the end of the world can't stand to look at them. But this song is also about being proud to be this person's lover bc nothing can fuck with them, not bc you are there to protect them and wouldn't let anyone harm them, but bc they're more than capable of protecting themselves and you too. So in my head, this song is Jamie's declaration of love to Dani.
And then I think of Jamie's devotion to Dani when she said "If you can't feel anything, then I'll feel everything for the both of us." shown in this verse:
"If I was born as a blackthorn tree
I'd wanna be felled by you
Held by you
Fuel the pyre of your enemies"
And the fact that she took what she could get just to be with Dani. She knew she'd have to suffer for/bc of her at some point, but chose to be with her anyway. I have no doubts in my mind she'd want to be anything for her as long as they could be together in any way, shape, or form. In all the lives they happened to meet one another too.
Wouldn't it be cool to see them in an AU where Dani is like a medieval princess who's supposed to marry Edmund to form an alliance between kingdoms or something and Jamie is an assassin who is hired to kill the princess so she has to pretend to be Dani's personal guard or wtever but they fall in love and run away together and Jamie teaches her how to fight so Dani becomes this warrior but turns out Dani is naturally good at it and then she becomes a legend? Hahaha I can see her riding a horse in the winter with paint on her face and her blonde hair falling over this fur-lined cloak, fierce look on her face, and Jamie riding next to her (always). Then they come across Viola who's a witch and puts a curse on Dani and then Dani and Jamie have to travel to all sorts of places and fight all sorts of people and go on this whole adventure to rid Dani of this curse. Maybe Dani has to go back to her kingdom bc her father dies and there are other people trying to take her kingdom so there's a lot of angst and suffering but then they win at the end after a lot of sweat and tears and they live happily ever after! 😎Hahaha
Anyway, I hope you're having a great week so far and hope you had fun with your niece today! (I know if I was her and you had us make fudge and paint I'd worship you haha) I'm sorry for the very (very) long ask, but I've been obsessing over this idea for months and I just had to share it with someone! ✌️✨
(And you can call me Libby or wtever since I'm not anon anymore 🤗)
Awwh thank you so much for saying I have earned my 'real life Dani' title is means a lot to me that you guys see that in me!! I am sure you do so many meaningful things in life without even realising it!! I honestly just want to make a difference and I love helping people so going into a career like this just seemed so natural to me and I really do love what I do!! Thank you so much I really hope I can keep up the good work!!
I hope I'm a lot of fun- I know I have helped win a few pub quizzes and there's been a few times I've won games of trivial pursuit as well so that really did make so much sense to me and learning about all the placements of my chart was so much fun and was so interesting so thank you very much!!
I have heard some of Hozier's lyrics are quite sapphic and I always mean to look into more of his songs and then just never do but I will definitely look in to NFWMB because the lyrics you have sent me here are incredible and definitely give of Dani x Jamie vibes
I definitely agree with you in everything you have said about why Viola accepted Dani's invitation- Dani and Viola are similar in some ways and this was something I was explaining to my niece when she watched it with me. I explained to her that both Viola and Dani are strong willed, and stubborn, and would do anything to fiercely protect the people they care about.
We saw that time and time again with Dani, how within days of knowing Miles and Flora she was out with a fire poker trying to protect them from a strange man that she kept seeing around the manor. And how Viola would've done anything to protect her daughter.
One major difference between them though is that Viola seemed to have a slight selfish streak where as Dani is entirely selfless, she was selfless for the longest time in even agreeing to marry Eddie so she wouldn't hurt him, she was selfless in protecting Miles and Flora, and even more selfless in saving Flora's life and freeing all the trapped spirits of Bly Manor and then she is selfless in the fact that she won't drag anyone down and won't hurt anyone else at Bly ever again. The one thing she did for herself was being with Jamie- and she was able to make Jamie open up and trust people in way she probably hadn't for the longest time. Dani is a truly strong person as was Viola and I can see why she would accept Dani's invitation.
I will have to listen to this song to see it from a Jamie perspective which I will definitely do tomorrow but from the lyrics you have sent me I can definitely see it being a love declaration to Dani from Jamie.
Jamie knew in the end she would suffer because she knew she wouldn't be able to keep Dani forever, and knew that one day she would have to leave her- but she knew loving Dani for as long as she was allowed to would be worth that pain in the end and Jamie is a truly strong person as well for knowing this and staying by Dani's side anyway when that must have been such a hard thing for Jamie to ever have to accept. Jamie would've been anything for Dani and would've one anything for her as Dani would've for Jamie and that's why I love them so much. They loved each other so purely and without conditions and so wholeheartedly and it really was such a lovely thing to watch play out in front of us (even if it did hurt us all at the end).
I think it would be so cool to see an AU like that I think medieval stuff is always so fun and so interesting and a good enemies to lovers start never fails either because there's so much tension there between them. And Jamie being undercover as someone to get close to Dani and them slowly falling in love with each other would just be a great thing to see!! And I am all for warrior Dani and Jamie (women with weapons is a little bit of a weakness of mine)!! This whole AU just sounds incredible I love a good curse in fantasy stories and the curse slowly taking over and you thinking they're going to run out of time but everything works out in the end!! Dani going back to her kingdom because of her sick Dad dying would be great for angst because it would look
like she would have to marry someone to create an alliance and that she would have to take over a kingdom (perhaps something she never wanted to do in the first place)!! I think this could be a very angsty one shot and could be so interesting and fun and the happy ending would definitely make all the angst worth it in the end!!
I am having a good week so far thank you and I had so much fun with my niece today, making fudge went great and she was happy that I was able to show her how to do it because she'd never made it before so now that's something she knows how to do (I think she thinks I'm way cooler than I actually am haha thank you for saying you'd worship me though if you were my niece haha 😂) but tomorrow she is teaching me how to do something because I taught her how to make fudge today... she's gonna teach me how to draw in an anime style- which is something she is really into and even though I'm not she loves drawing so I've asked if she can teach me since I taught her something today!!
There's no need to apologise I loved this long angst and I loved this idea I think it's really great and interesting and that song just seems amazing and I am definitely gonna listen to it tomorrow when I get chance!! Thank you for sharing this idea with me I loved it!! ☺️
Haha oki doki then as long as that's alright with you Libby is what I'll call you!! Like I said you can seriously call me anything!! ☺️
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
bowwed
HOPE.
shortloanbrisbane-blog
Short Term Loans Brisbane- Get Fast Cash Loans with Poor Credit
izmarvelous
Make Mine Dofus
hellish-boyo
Chaos Rules
gadgetvisiosblog-blog
Untitled