#thank you so much alyssa | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trashlie · 2 years

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Please tell me about your shoujo journey. Do you think Skip Beat will outlast ILY? 😂 The pacing is on a whole other level of slow, I gave up on it, two decades running and Kyoko's only aged a year damn! I understand the frustration with the flashback, it is quite sluggish, but we're seeing the true impact Alyssa had on Shinae's trust, how it affects her relationship with Nol now, and what it means for them in the future. Plus we're getting some vital Alyssa content. I feel like she's become even more ambiguous to me. I have no idea where her head is at. I miss reading your analysis. I'd love discuss to her with you after the arc ends and we get our long awaited Shinae x Nol moment. It's been so loooong since we've seen them.

OOOOOHHHHHHH MY GOD ANON LMAO that question just made me pause HARD lmaooooooo. Listen. For alllllll the shit people say about ILY, I just feel it in my BONES that Skip Beat will outlast EVERYTHING lmaoooooooooooo GOD. Like, I'm sorry but ANY TIME people talk about slow pacing I'm just like.... I'll read this whole 30, 50? page chapter and WHAT HAPPENS? HOW MUCH TIME PASSES? NONE! lmao I like to do an annual "catch up" on Skip Beat now and then (when I remember lol). Like I LOVE that the mangka made it about more than just Kyoko's love life but also MAN each acting project is literally years long for us as readers!!!!!!!! lmao thanks to Skip Beat I have the patience to weather ANYYYYTHIIIIIIING hahahahahaha. Taking three months to get through a flashback arc? I can handle it! ILY could take 10 years to reach completion and I'd be, frankly, okay, because at least it could wrap up faster than Skip Beat ever could LMAO (and honestly like... 10 years of solid story telling is pretty ace in my book but that's a whole other thing lmao)

As for my shoujo journey, I'll be honest, it's not SUPER long! I didn't start reading manga until I was graduating high school, so by the time I started to dig into things, after some time I found myself growing out of it? Or, rather no it was more like... there's just a lot of tropes that were present in shoujo I was finding I wasn't into? (Like, oh my god so many triangles where I'd be like MEH I actually prefer the second lead. I learned very fast that a lot of your typical "first leads", at least back in the day, were NOT my style.) I still have a soft spot for a lot of stories that I loved, though! I haven't read Lovely Complex since god probably 2014, 2015? But I STILL loved it back then and I'm really eager for a re-read. I uh.... I really went through a Hirunaka no Ryuusei phase? Like.... lmaoooo it was a Big Thing for me hahhaha (I own the series in Korean, actually!!!!) My first two manga, though, were Skip Beat and Hana Kimi; my friend bought me the first Skip Beat volume at our school book fair and another friend bought the first few volumes of Hana Kimi and shared them with me! Hana Kimi is one of those that like.... you know it doesn't hold up over time, it leans heavily on tropes that are considered ethically nonos these days, but it stays special to me because in spite of all of that, idk I just! Enjoyed it! And now that I'm older I am okay saying "I LIKE THIS THING THAT IS FLAWED AND IMPERFECT AND I DO NOT NEED TO DEFEND IT" lol you know? There was the obligatory Vampire Knight phase that I finally fell out of but OOOF that was A Thing. (I was SO obsessed with it at first lol and I LOVED the art sooooo much that I read another series by the mangaka, MeruPuri which, frankly, was REALLY weird so nothing about Vampire Knight actually surprised me ngl LMAOOOOOO) You know I remember once starting Special A but I do not think I ever finished that! I put myself all the way through Ao Haru Ride even though I kept telling myself I needed to drop it and pretend it didn't exist. God what a trainwreck that one was lol like.... idk I'm not saying this as a dig to people who did enjoy it! There were just times I wanted to enter that story and punch people lmaoooo but I wonder what I would think if I went back and read it again now in the vein of like.... sometimes people are selfish and make bad choices because they are human? lol I also REALLY loved Orange but I'm going to admit I haaaaaaaaaaaaaated the ending and to this daaaaaay I haaaaaaaaaaaated it so much but that's a whole other post lol. LOVED the story, LOVED the art, was super into the theme, but just hated the execution of the ending SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH ;A;

lol I said it's not super long but look at me, rambling on and on!

I know no one is surprised that I wound up talking A LOT and just.... following, there's so much ILY rambling going on about why I appreciate and enjoy this flashback arc, and how I think it boosts the rest of the story so far lol so here's a read more, haaaha.......

I definitely feel you on how Alyssa feels even more ambiguous lol which is so funny. I love the insight and having a better idea of who she is as a person, even if we still don't fully know all of her motives. Just seeing her as a complex character like everyone else has been great. We all know I'm a sucker for parallels lol and seeing how everyone has their own traumas, that everyone has a root for who they are, is the stuff that keeps me hooked on ILY. Alyssa was very easily written off by people and I don't defend her or anything - I really hope we get to see her take responsibility for her actions and ownership for the hurt she has caused, whether on purpose or not - but also, it always felt like she was suuuuuuuper reduced down by fandom on a whole. I think a very human thing quimchee is good at capturing is that we don't always mean to hurt the people we do, but it still happens, and that sometimes good intentions can make things worse in the longrun - and this can go for Alyssa towards Nol or Shinae, frankly.

Honestly, too, something I love about her is like... like you know how if you read a novel, the protagonist is supposed* to be the character who makes the right choices and does good things? And when people are presented an "unlikable protagonist" it's usually a character who is acting on their emotions and responding to their experiences - it's a character making the choices that we ourselves might make. (* I'm saying "supposed" here because a protagonist DOESN'T have to make the right choices, but it turns out people really hate media where female characters make selfish choices lmaoooo) I guess that's what I like seeing about Alyssa in this flashback. I've seen a lot of people say that Alyssa is weak for caving to peer pressure or something but like... was that not the middle school experience? I don't know a lot of people who were super self-assured and full of confidence in middle school - but especially someone in Alyssa's position who has never really interacted with kids her own age and is so afraid of ostracization. Like a lot of the woven storylines of ILY, something I love is that we are shaped by our experiences, right? Most people never faulted Shinae for shutting down and putting up strong defenses when we first met her in the story, because we know she'd been screwed over by life and people and as people who have been there before, we understand self-preservation tactics. She even basically admits it herself that she WANTED to open up to people. Shinae wasn't guarded because she hated people, she lied to herself because of how much she'd been hurt and she was afraid to take that chance again and try it. Shinae is afraid to be burned, Alyssa is afraid for people to ever have a chance to burn her. It's so inherently HUMAN to be afraid of being alienated, to want to BELONG, to want to feel like you fit in. She faces a daily crisis in how she is desperate to belong with people who might not accept her if they knew what she was truly like.

And idk, I cannot fault her for that completely, because it took me until my early-to-mid-20s to learn to be okay on my own and that it was better to be myself than try to fit in where I wasn't wanted. I put up with shitty friendships for a long time because I had myself convinced that it was all worth it. So a middle schooler struggling with this is SO VERY real, and it's wild to me to see people fault her for this. Alyssa has done some things worth being mad about, but seeing her written off for being a human middle schooler is WILD to me.

That's a whole other tangent LOL but it's something I haven't really gotten around to ever talking about. Like, whatever, I cannot - and I won't even try lol to - convince people to like Alyssa, but frankly, I think all of the characters of ILY are SO dimensional and fascinating, how can I not enjoy exploring parts of their story? I think sometimes people think that if I say "I enjoy a character" it means I endorse everything they do. I DO like Kousuke and Alyssa. Would I want to be their friends? Good grief, no. But I'm here as an observer of a story and I think it's fascinating to see how their experiences bring about the circumstances of this story. That moment of dramatic irony when Alyssa promises that she won't stop being Shinae's friend, but we know how it all ends, we all know that's a promise she does not keep, and we know how those events affect Shinae and much of the story that unfolds!

how it affects her relationship with Nol now

I feel like this is something that doesn't come up a lot? Or maybe I just missed any period of fandom when they might have discussed it? Like.... if Shinae hadn't been burned like this by Alyssa, she wouldn't carry the paranoia she does - not about Maya and Rika and certainly not about Minhyuk. Even to this day, we saw that Shinae worries that even the people she trusts are humoring her - because she's been there, she trusted someone who hurt her. The entire trajectory of her relationship with Nol would be completely different! A really beautiful aspect of Nol and Shiane's friendship to me is not just that he managed to make Shinae open up - it's that now that we know how Shinae lied to herself, how she was hurt in the past, how trusting people burned her so badly - but the fact that despite everything she'd been through, she WANTED him to be someone she could trust, she WANTED him to be worth letting down her guard.

Like, again!!!!! Everything that happens in this story only does so because of circumstances and events that precede it. Shinae going to Nol's school was not just because she wanted to check on and see her friend - she was desperate to prove herself wrong, desperate for Nol to prove that he was worth the chances she took, that trusting him was not another mistake she knew better than to make.

I think a flashback arc shows us more than just insight into her relationship with Alyssa, which we've established was something very important, something special that was destroyed. It's the juxtaposition of pre-accident Shinae, who was willing to open herself up, who was plucky and bullheaded and just wanted to be appreciated it. Contrast that with the Shinae we meet early in the story, who has herself convinced it's okay to be alone, when now we know she was yearning to be appreciated, maybe yearning for someone to fight for her the way she fought for Alyssa but believed that something like that wasn't possible. I think we also see the flashback because while we've seen some of the ugly moments of Shinae's life, we never really saw how we went from this point to that point, you know? How there are small pockets of things in her life that make her want to keep believing in what she knows better than to believe - in teachers who listen to her when she tells the truth, in friends who stand up for her and defend in - even as her life starts to crumble. She can't escape her past, she's literally being haunted by it, even as she tried to put it all behind her. Her father is falling more and more into alcoholism due to stress from school plus his job, and soon he's going to be saddled with medical bills and having to take care of Shinae, which is probably what derailed school completely. THESE are the experiences that made the Shinae we know - a Shinae who is TERRIFIED of being hurt but also LONGS to be proven wrong, a Shinae who wants to share an experience she thought maybe she doesn't deserve, a Shinae who quietly believed maybe the universe just wanted to punish her for existing but still tries so hard to defy it.

Idk like yes we get that sense of Shinae without the backstory, but I think it really emphasizes this so much more? And I think it's also some kind of proof, maybe, that Alyssa IS more important than people have given her credit for, not just in the past but also in the future of the story. She doesn't exist just to move plot and drive wedges between relationships or something lol she, too, a complex character with complex experiences and god isn't that the sum of so many moments of people headbutting? That we are complex and sometimes struggle to see beyond our own issues, because what we deal with blinds us? Alyssa is blinded by her desire to escape her family and experience something NORMAL and be liked. Maybe she DOES want attention! Kousuke is blinded by a sense of destiny instilled in him since he was young, blinded by paranoia that fed off of this "destiny", blinded by his inability to accept his father's human nature, blinded by his fear that the only thing that makes him matter to his father is threatened. We met Nol thinking he was a character who looked out for others but even he's been blinded by his misery and by the feelings of worthlessness that has been punched down into him.

We butt heads with people because sometimes we are so caught up in our own struggles that it's hard to understand that others struggle, too, and I think that's where some of the best conflict comes. Like yeah there's good conflict in "Shinae has been roped into attending this horrible formal" but there's something poignant and painful in "Shinae unintentionally repeated the Alyssa cycle when she let Nol in" and even BETTER we get to see how she's grown from it!

This is, as always, lmao a very rambling tangential departure from the main point lol but!!!!! I have had a lot of feelings here and I know part of peoples' irritation is they want to get back to Nol and Shinae right now, but I think seeing Shinae's past helps create even MORE appreciation for what Nol means to her - that he is someone who hurt her but she is still willing to give another chance - and moreover, that we can see that though Shinae came from a loving home, she, too, has suffered her own abuse, was battered and beaten down by people, and unlike Nol, she was able to conclude it doesn't make her bad. Idk it's so beautiful to me and I get really overwhelmed lol it makes me appreciate their friendship SO MUCH more, for what they mean to each other and what they can be, you know? Seeing Shinae's resilience, through the new girl at middle school hoping to start all over to failing at that to putting up that guarded wall to finally taking a chance, finally giving in and accepting that yes, she still has hope, there's still faith, and Nol was that spark. UGH!

ANYWAY lol I do think we are probably nearing the end of this flashback arc. I don't know how many episodes I think remain - I generously said less than 10 a week or two ago lol but I think that was very generous. The timeline (and Alyssa's behavior) feels like we are approaching the point of Alyssa pushing Shinae and YES i will be so happy to go over the whole arc with you!!! I've been wanting to make a post that I keep holding off on, because I don't know if it would be better to do it now or wait for the whole arc to end, but I think there's a good conversation to be had about how a lot of Alyssa's behavior is directly tied to her homelife - how it's implied her father is someone who, at the very least, shouts a lot - and how that ties into her deflective, people-pleasing nature. Again, Alyssa is not really a spineless, MEAN-spirited person. She, like everyone else, is just the sum of her experiences, and I don't think she's learned to deal with them in a healthy way. (And frankly speaking, what about her relationship with Nol IS healthy anyway?)

I know this is so much more than you bargained for lol but you KNOOOOWWWW I love these asks and it HAS been so long since I got to just.... ENTHUSE about this - not just try to analyze or talk about what an episode has revealed but just GUSH about it lol so I could not help myself! But yes, once this arc ends, I will be READY to dissect and discuss EVERYTHING. I feel so emotionally invested, knowing that Shinae is about to experience the worst burn of her life, while she's still so trusting and earnest and aaaahhhhhhhh it's going to HURT so much ;~; But in a maybe cathartic way. (Also, and this is something I should get to later, I think something big about this flashback is that, y'know, it's kind of implied that Shinae has repressed a lot of this. Her memories of the moment are hazy, Alyssa appeared in a series of people Shinae was shocked to realize she harbored so much anger towards. I think as much as this is for US to see exactly what happened, I think it's also kind of a wake up call for Shinae, who has repressed and ignored so much of this, and I'm really REALLY curious to see how she reacts after return to the present. Is she angry? Sad? Sad for her younger self? Is it cathartic for her? How raw is it? Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh)

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #Shinae Yoo #Alyssa Cho #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #lol what was my nol tag? I just gotta create one for him i swear!#GOD it's been so long since I just gushed and rambled lol I AM SO SORRY FOR HOW MUCH I WROTE i do not know how to restrain myself #also just talking about shoujo again!!!!!!! i haven't really read a lot in a long time but i'd be liking if i pretended it wasn't a #sort of formative foundation you know? part of what was so fun about early ILY was the homage it paid to shoujo manga before it evolved #i'm sure i left off LOTS of manga too #i randomly think about heroine shikaku because i don't think there were many manga i saw as far through as that one that i HATED as much #LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #IT WAS A COOL CONEPT AND IT WAS SO FOILED AND DISAPPOINTED?! i love the idea of girl believes she's the heroine of her life but SIKE SHE'S #NOT and has to learn to resolve that and yknow LET GO OF THE DUDE SHE OBSESSIVELY LOVES but they did not give me that story!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway look i have really missed ILY asks like i just feel? weirdly? rejuvenated?#sometimes i receive an ask and i have to let it sit for a couple hours so i can mull over it and prepare myself but with this one i just #launched right in lol i was so excited to yell about shoujo and my eternal patience thanks to Skip Beat and this whole flashback and YES #what it means for her relationship with Nol! what it means for her as a person! what it means for the Shinae we first met vs who she is now #GOD i love her so much ;_____________; Shinae is so wonderful ;~;

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moireia · 1 year

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so, I found your blog a few hours ago and I have to tell you how obsessed I’m with alyssa snow???? fucks sake it’s a crime how good it is and I applaud your mind for creating such a compelling story aaand stunning gifs. Do you have anything at all more on her, pretty pretty please?

thank you so much for such a lovely ask!!! I'm so sorry it took so long to respond but i'm so so glad you are interested in alyssa! watching hotd reminded me of how much I do love alyssa and all the arcs in her story. since in this ask I went through what Alyssa goes through pre-series and in season one, how about I share ideas from season two. under a read more because it got long lol.

Ohhhhhh man. SO season two starts off incredibly rough for Alyssa. It is one of the darkest times in Alyssa's life. Her father was executed and now she has to survive court as a traitor's bastard. Even though Alyssa was legitimized by Robert and is now considered trueborn by law, she is still treated like a bastard. The court calls her Lady Snow and she also earns the name Lady of Ice for the way she refuses to cry or scream through the torments she experiences.The last time Alyssa spoke with her father, Ned asked her to look after Sansa, and that became Alyssa's sole motivation for the start of season two. Alyssa deliberately takes on the physical abuse Sansa suffered in canon. Sansa of course still goes through the psychological torment of witnessing Alyssa be constantly hurt (and knowing Alyssa deliberately provokes Joffery and Cersei as a way to protect Sansa) and also Sansa helps treat Alyssa's wounds because they don't trust Maester Pycelle. Alyssa and Sansa, who always had a rocky relationship before, are now closer than ever, but its because of all the trauma. They look out for each other in ways no one else will.

When Tyrion arrives at court as Hand of the King, he tries to put a stop the abuse, but he doesn't have much success. Cersei in particular despises Alyssa, because she is a bastard and a living reminder of Lyanna, so all that pent up rage towards Lyanna is being unleashed on Alyssa. Tyrion and Alyssa, who sorta already had a bond from talking in the Winterfell library months ago, become wine-drinking buddies and play Cyvass. Alyssa's situation doesn't change until Oberyn arrives in King's Landing. I'm justifying Oberyn appearing so early with the idea that Doran sent Oberyn to survey the state of the court now that Robert is dead and Joffery is king. Oberyn is also there to find the names of the men who killed Eila and her children (which is a plot detail from the books). The Martell party comes under the guise of reaffirming the 'understanding' between the Crown and Dorne, and also to negotiate with Tyrion the betrothal of Myrcella and Trystane. Oberyn and Alyssa have the closest thing to a meet-cute that can exist in GoT. Oberyn walks through the palace gardens when a shoe suddenly falls in front of him. He looks up and it's Alyssa hiding in a tree. She comes down to speak with him, recognizing him as Dornish, (since she learned of Ashara Dayne, Alyssa has studied everything in the Red Keep's library about Dorne). Once Oberyn introduces himself, he asks Alyssa why she was in the tree and she takes a calculated risk and says it was because in the tree she could pretend she was anywhere else but here. Oberyn and Alyssa start to spend time with each other, forming a friendship based on hating King's Landing and the Lannisters. Also, Alyssa asks him so many questions about Dorne and she enjoys his stories about his daughters. Oberyn "we don't hurt little girls in Dorne" Martell quickly starts to see the parallels between Alyssa and Elia—hostages trapped in King's Landing and suffering because of the King. He, like Tyrion and Sansa and Varys, realize that Alyssa will probably end up dying in King's Landing if she stays because Cersei really hates her that much and Joffery's violence against her is escalating. So the plotting and scheming begin. Tyrion and Oberyn come up with the plan to betroth Alyssa to Oberyn and have her leave for Dorne with Myrcella and the rest of the Dornish Party. As a Martell Prince, Oberyn has enough power to protect Alyssa from Joffery and Cersei, but Oberyn would make it clear to Alyssa that she doesn't actually have to marry him. This is just so she can escape King's Landing. Alyssa initially refuses this idea because she won't leave Sansa behind in King's Landing. Alyssa will martyr herself trying to keep her promise to protect Sansa. But Sansa is told about the plot and she convinces Alyssa to go because Sansa cannot watch Alyssa die like how she had to watch Ned die. So Alyssa agrees to the fake betrothal. Of course, no scheme in King's Landing ever goes perfectly. Before the plan is enacted, Joffery decides Alyssa should be beaten in front of the court. Oberyn hears about it and is furious. He storms in and stops it, declaring Alyssa under his protection as his betrothed. Joffery, being a shit, decides if Oberyn wants Alyssa, he can have the bastard, but only if they are married that very night. So Oberyn and Alyssa are forced to marry and there's a feast thrown together. Oberyn is fuming through the entire ordeal. He tries to refuse, but Alyssa stops him. She convinces Oberyn that they have to play along. Joffery will only let them marry if he can humiliate her. Once they are married, not even Cersei will be able to keep Alyssa in King's Landing since Alyssa will then be a Princess of Dorne. I wanted to write more about their wedding and them in Dorne, but the new post editor hates me. Apparently, I rambled too much lol.

#alyssa asks #alyssa snow #fic: lost and only led by stars #again thank you so so so much for this ask #i do love alyssa a lot even though i put her through so much #and i adore her relationship with oberyn and ellaria #there is a lot of happiness in dorne

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thedeadthree · 1 year

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🎵🎵 + Olga, 🎵🎵 + Logan x Olga 🥺🫶🏼

AHH YOU DEAR YOU ! they my babies the dears of the hour ty ty so much alyssa! 🥀✨🦢🐺

OCS + SHIPS SONG ASKS

⚕️— OLGA

YOUR TEETH IN MY NECK — kali uchis

is it worth it? // is it worth it? // what do i do it for? // ive been working so hard just to give you more // gotta get right // what do you do it for?

NEW PERSON, SAME OLD MISTAKES — tame impala

i can just hear them now // “how could you let us down?” // but they don’t know what i found // or see it from this way ‘round

🐺🦢 — WOLF x SWAN; olga x logan

OLD MONEY — lana del rey

but if you send for me you know // i’ll come // and if you call for me, you know // i’ll run // i’ll run to you, i’ll run to you

THE FIRST TASTE — fiona apple

darling, just start the chase, i’ll let you win // but you must make the endeavor

#oc: olga litvinchuck #x: wolf x swan #x: olga x logan #🌞: alyssa #friends ocs #leg.ocs #leg.asks #leg.txt #THANK YOU M’DEAR 🥀 they’re the babies they’re my dears i love them AHH #theres also a version of once upon a december thats in russian that i think would be so cute for sasha to sing to her when she was little ✨🥺#OH THESE WERE SO CUTE ty ty so much for the ask!#teehee i hunted down the song from her section / his ship section in the board it’s old money <3 #THAT LINE ESPECIALLY THAT ONE ! it makes me crazy! they make me crazy!

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shayyprasad · 3 months

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intellectual | peter parker

summary: you overhear something you weren't supposed to, but it shouldn't have been said in the first place. in result, you can't help but wonder if peter wants something different.

warnings: implied smut, mentions of sex, insecurity, use of y/n

pairing: bimbo!reader x frat!peter

word count: 3.0k+ words (my longest fic yet-)

a/n: in no way is use of "bimbo" meant to be a patriarchal stereotype. please do not take it offensively, this is a work of fiction.

M.LIST | RULES/REQUESTING | ABOUT ME

peter was totally smitten by you. really, he was. after all he's been through, it was kind of nice having someone who adores him as much as he does, even if you are... a tad bit dim-witted.

while he grew up surrounded by death, trauma, and more, you were raised sheltered, hidden away from all the bad things. and even though peter's been through some shit, he finds it to hold you so gently, like the pretty thing you are, as if you were stained glass; fragile, but so beautiful.

when he's holding you, all his soft, brown eyes can focus on are how your soft, manicured hands wrap around his rough, calloused ones. you're always careful not to hurt him with your acrylics.

even though you can be slow at times, it's almost impossible not to admire the way your clothes always hug your curves, glossed lips pulled into a pretty pout.

peter could have just about any girl he wanted on campus, but he didn't want any of them.

he wanted you, and only you.

maybe it's because you were different, and no, not in dim-witted nature. but because of how soft you were. you didn't know, and even if you did, understand the horrors he wittnessed out there everyday.

you were protected by a little (very pink) bubble that you lived in, so when he came home to you, it felt as if he was in a different world altogether. you were so damn good at distracting peter, and you didn't even know it.

you were in your own dorm room, watching a silly rom-com while peter was with his friends, he told you not to wait up for him, given that he would be up 'til the early hours of the morning. but you decided that peter and his goodnight kisses were slightly more important than your beauty sleep.

slightly.

you furrowed your neatly shaped eyebrows at something that one of the characters said, tilting your head.

ram-i-fic-a-tion? you thought, humming. pulling out your phone, you googled the word.

noun plural noun: ramifications

a consequence of an action or event, especially when complex or unwelcome. "any change is bound to have legal ramifications"

"legal ram-i-fic-a-tions?" you wondered aloud.

you skimmed the rest of the definitions, still confused. surely peter wouldn't mind if you gave him a quick ring? so you went ahead in did that, letting the sound echo in the room.

when he didn't pick up, you frowned.

"ummm..." you trailed off, calling one of his friends, spencer, instead. you weren't a stranger to him, but more of a mutual. after all, your roommate was dating him. actually, you'd ask alyssa, your roomie, but she wasn't here.

much to your happiness, spencer did pick up. "hiii, spence."

"y/n?" he said, slurring slightly.

"what does, like, ram-i-fic-a-tion mean?" you asked, careful to enunciate.

spencer was aware of... how your brain worked, and he wasn't a jerk about it (unlike some people). he was one of peter's closer friends, so you felt comfortable around him.

"ramification? oh, uh, it's like a consequence."

you frowned dumbly, "to what?"

"to an action. if you don't study for the final, you might not do well. that's a consequence to your action. a ramification."

"oh. oh! okay. thank you!"

he didn't disconnect right away, and you could hear one of his frat brothers, you were unsure who, talking. and of course, you strained your ears to listen.

"it doesn't get annoying or anything?"

you heard peter's voice come next, and instantly perked up. "what?"

"dude, be so for real. she's hot, but like, as dumb as a third grader. do you have to talk to her like that too?" he laughed.

oof, you thought, sucks to be whoever it was they were talking about.

"sometimes. she's good in bed, though."

wait. he was talking about you. your jaw dropped. i mean, you were stupid, but not this stupid. so this is what "saturday night with the boys" was all about?

you heard collective laughing. you did stupid things sometimes, but never had the mental compacity to be embarrased by them. this, though? this was different.

you trusted peter.

he was the only person who never, ever, spoke to or about you like that. in fact, it was one of the reasons you'd grown to like him so much. because he was patient, he was kind, and never did he once judge you.

well, that's what you thought.

but you were dumb enough to think that just because he never spoke about it to you, he never spoke about it all.

you immediately disconnected the call, dropping your phone. trying to focus back on the movie, you nibbled on a piece of popcorn.

but you just couldn't get over it. did it bother him?

all the questions? the dim-witted stupidity? all the pink?

reluctantly, you glanced the hot pink bowl that held your snack.

you didn't mean to be so... like that. you were just being yourself. did peter not like you being yourself? no, no, of course not. if he didn't, then why would he be with you?

a little voice in the back of your head rang out; "because you're good in bed."

maybe it wouldn't hurt to try and raise your iq?

you turned off the tv, hot pink popcorn bowl forgotten. alyssa wouldn't mind if you borrowed something, right?

you opened her room door, walking over to her bookself. wrinkling up your nose, you scanned her shelf. how could someone like reading so much?

it was so... gross.

oh, well. maybe peter was into intellectuals. and you had better become before he left you for someone like that.

your eyes paused at a book titled "the hobbit".

"what's a... hobbit?" you asked, not to anyone in particular. you skipped it, looking at her other ones.

"'twisted love', 'the fault in our stars'... what'd the stars do?" picking up the book, you read the back. "huh," you remarked, putting it back.

instead, you grabbed a couple self-help books, struggling to hold them with your acrylic nails, which, of course, were bright pink... accentuated with big charms; bows and hearts.

you went back over to your room, dumping them on your bed. checking your nails again, you drummed them against your palm to make sure they were intact.

you started reading the first one, curling up in a blanket, but you kept getting distracted. every five seconds, you look up to make sure your lashes were still in place, or that your skin wasn't to shiny, or that your hair was still perfect. and to be honest, you didn't really understand any of it.

like, who actually had the patience to read through all of it? how could a book cure all your crap?

and why would you read a book to feel better, when you could go to a spa, or a shopping spree.

credit cards were invented for a reason.

but you powered through, at the very least, you skimmed the words. there was no way you could read it word for word. but you wanted to try... for peter.

you wanted him to stick around, to love you, but not superficially. not for sex.

you stayed up until 1:30 (mostly reading, and you still didn't understand how people did this for fun), but didn't call peter. you'd talk to him tomorrow, maybe. first, you needed to get your facts straight. eventually, you got ready for bed.

this included showering, taking off your makeup, putting your hair in rollers, and your fifteen-step skincare routine.

you may have been half asleep, but you'd never skip a step.

peter came over around noon monday, when neither of you had classes. "jeez, babe," he groaned, you in his lap, "i've got so much to do. seriously, i'm never gonna get it done."

you twirled your hair, appearing nonchalant, "your mindset is either your best friend, or worst enemy."

you kept your eyes trained on your phone, waiting for peter to respond. looking up, you saw him blink. "uh... yeah. that was- that was very... un-y/n-like."

to be honest, you didn't even know what the saying meant. you just memorized it from your book. "was it dumb?"

"no, it was smart," peter replied, kissing your hairline.

"i'm normally dumb?" you asked, tearing up. lips pouted, voice moist, you made eye contact with him. you knew you were a little slow, but dumb? really?

"no! that's not what i meant. it just sounded- well, i- cause you never say stuff like that. you're my smart, pretty girl."

"oh, okay," you said, your nails tracing the curve of his back. you pecked him on the lips, but he brought you back for a longer kiss.

you giggled as he flipped your positions, peter on top.

"can i show you just how pretty you are?"

he didn't have to ask twice.

you were in the dining hall, sitting with some of your friends, mixed with some of peter's.

they were talking as you picked at your salad, leaning into peter.

"ugh," sarah, you kind-of friend started, "my boss gave me a premotion."

"what the fuck are you complaining about?" alyssa scoffed.

"because! it means that i have to do more...! like, i'll have to get up earlier. i dunno if i'll take it. it's cooler than the one i have now, but but it's not as comforting."

you spoke up, completely confident, "commit to change. either embrace the challenge of pursuing your destiny or shy way and live in regret."

collective "oohs" and "damns" were heard around the table, and you reveled in it.

"okay, girl, you go."

"parker, when did your girlfriend get a braincell upgrade?" you looked at peter, waiting for him to shoot something back, but he didn't. you frowned slightly, going back to the salad.

it went on like that, you would pipe in and offer self-help advice (not really knowing what it meant) hoping for peter's attention. sometimes you got it, and sometimes you didn't.

it was fine, you wanted him to notice you. after all, you weren't reading for fun. you were doing it for him, so... just, like, notice already.

you'd been focusing so much on the self-help books, your nails had grown out, leaving space between your nail bed and acrylics. deciding to take some time away from the books and all their un-understandable wisdom, you wanted to paint your nails.

nothing to big, but more simple. you were finding it hard to turn the page with the large charms on the acrylics you normally had to.

you found some 100% acetone in your bathroom, so you soaked your nails, waiting for the acrylics to come off. once they got loose enough, they came off easily.

you did some prepping, then picked out two different shades of pink. you were about to start when you heard two long knocks, then two short ones.

(it was peter's special knock, so you'd always know when it was him.)

"come in!" you called out, and you saw a head of fluffy brown hair peek in.

"hey," he said, slipping in your room.

"hi, petey!"

he came up from behind you, hugging your waist. "whatcha doing?"

you opened a bottle of nail paint, "painting my nails."

"cute colors," he kissed your cheek, and you leaned in.

"right? pink is so pretty," you gushed.

"what are these?" peter asked, and you looked over curious as to what he was talking about.

"oh, just, like, lyss' books."

"yeah, but why're they in here?" he read the back of one, raising a brow.

you continued painting your nails, trying to appear chill. "i was reading them."

he seemed to do a double-take, and you frowned, "what?"

"nothing- nothing, i just..."

"i know how to read," you said, shoulders sagging. "i'm smarter than a third-grader," you didn't catch the slip-up, but he did.

that caught him off guard there, "what?"

"what?" looking up, you finally met his eyes.

"you said you- well, yeah, i know. you just don't-" he paused, "self-help books didn't seem like your thing is all. oh, is that why've you been saying all that?"

"saying what?"

"all the-" he didn't want to hurt your feelings, but if he was right, he already had. "the, um, advice?" he stammered. peter didn't trip over his words often, and you knew that.

you were sure that he knew that you knew, but you weren't sure if he knew for sure.

you shrugged, "doesn't it sound smart?"

"no, yeah, it does." he's treading very carefully. it was quiet for a brief moment; "did you hear?"

"hear what?"

"the... the comment i made?"

"oh, that one about me being stupid, but good in bed?" you said it so casually, as if it didn't bother you at all.

but it did. he knew it did.

he sighed, "i'm really sorry, baby."

"for what?"

"for saying that."

"no, you're sorry you got caught. you wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it."

"i didn't- i was drunk," peter tried again.

"drunk words are sober thoughts," something else you read, you aren't sure where.

he was starting to get really nervous. he didn't know what was going through your head, normally he had a good idea, but it wasn't anything like this. it didn't seem like you hated him, but he wasn't about to take advantage.

"no, i-"

"it's okay. i'm working on it," you said, trying to make him feel better. as if you were the one who'd messed up, not peter. the idea itself was insane to him, and it only made him feel worse.

"angel," peter started, "this is not your fault. please don't make it your fault. i'm the one who messed up, and what i said was not okay. it was a stupid, drunk joke, and i shouldn't said it."

you blew on your nails, blinking back your tears. mascara, the good stuff, was expensive. you looked up, shocked to see tears in his eyes. you don't think you've ever seen him cry before. well, maybe once, when you watched "titanic" with him.

peter wasn't one to get emotional, he still denied ever crying over that movie.

"it's okay," you repeated again. you were dumb, you knew that. it really wasn't his fault, you shouldn't have pushed him to feel like that.

"but it's not. and i know you know that, please tell me what i can do to make it better."

"but-"

"no, it's not," he said sternly, "and i cannot stress that enough. i'm really sorry, baby."

you capped the polish, you didn't know what to say. it wasn't your fault? okay, fine.

maybe he was right.

"i got really upset," you admitted.

"i know, baby," the tears are falling, he quickly wipes them away.

"did you really mean it?"

"no, no, no, of course not. i absolutely love you the way you are, and you shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone- especially not for me."

"so you don't think i'm only good for sex?"

"baby, no, baby, no!" baby, he used that word for affection; when he was guilty, trying to prove something to you... in this case, how sorry he was. "you are good for so many other things," he paused, "okay, that didn't sound great."

he took a deep breath, taking your freshly painted hands in yours, "don't mess up the polish," you warned, even though you were tearing up.

peter smiled slightly, that meant you weren't too upset, right? that he hadn't fucked everything up by great means?

"i haven't ever met someone like you, who loves me the same back. and i don't mean generally, but romantically. lots of people can't put up with me," he started, "but you do, and jesus, baby, i'm so greatful for that- and you," peter added.

"you are the bright pink light of my life. you're so different from other girls i've been with, you see me. you don't look at me, you see me. like, okay, maybe you aren't the greatest at math, but you don't have to be a s.t.e.m. genius to be smart."

peter was getting raw, he was getting vunerable. "i don't know how to use a curling iron for the life of me, i don't know the difference between mascara and eyeliner. well, i do, but i didn't before you."

you looked at him, opening your mouth to speak. you wanted to tell him he'd lost you somewhere along the line, but figured it was important for him to get this out.

"you've got a different mindset than me, and i love that. you're the biggest feminist i've ever met, and wait until you meet may. i think it's interesting that your entire personality doesn't revolve around your degrees and resumes, because, god, people like that are annoying. most of all, you're confidence is amazing. i never had anything like that in high school."

you knew that he was a nerd, kept his head down, shoulders sagging. "i just... i'm sorry. i don't know why i said it. i'm a huge insecure jerk that thinks he can get away with crap by projecting it onto his lovely, amazing, wonderful girlfriend. you're my favorite person, and i can't help but think you'll leave me one day. i thought that if i acted like i didn't care... i don't know. i- i don't... i'm sorry."

you took moment, that's the longest he's ever spoken to you, but he wasn't done, apparently.

"also, i don't care about sex. i mean, it's nice and whatever, but what's the point of it if i don't have you. what i'm trying to say is, i'd pick you over that any day, okay? it doesn't matter to me. i'm not with you for that."

"thank you," you said, it seemed appropriate. basically, he just compliented you a whole lot, and it worked; you seem to have a thing for praising. "and i forgive you. also, i hated those stupid books, and if they weren't, like, alyssa's, i'd burn them."

you shuddered, "i can't believe i read them."

"really?" peter asked, hopeful. you kissed away a stray tear, looking into his wet eyes. "we're okay?"

"we're so okay," you paused, "but you have to watch bridgerton with me."

he groaned, "fine." (you knew he liked it, he just wouldn't ever admit to it.)

"wait, so just checking, you aren't into, like, intellectuals or whatever?"

"i'm into you," he said, "whether or not you idenify as one."

taglist: @whatsupstark @ell0ra-br3kk3r @idli-dosa @susvale @kdbsr-h @littlemsbumblebee @sflame15-blog @twinsunkithies @chocolateshepherddreamclod

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #peter parker #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #spiderman #angst #tom holland x you #fluff #peter parker imagine #bimbo!reader #frat!peter #frat!peter x bimbo!reader #frat!peter x reader #peter x bimbo!reader

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marlenesluv · 6 months

Text

Denial is a Man’s Bestfriend. (MV)

summary: Y/n and Max have been friends since karting years, and now? Now, they’re teammates at Redbull. They are one of the best teammate duos in the Grid, but what happens when Max catches feelings?…Or when everyone but them notices they are in love but themselves?

pairing: max verstappen x fem!reader

warnings: cussing, a little suggestive at the end?

masterlist here -> masterlist link

^ check my list for all posts! ^

liked by: maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 512,011 others

y/n.user: disappointing day in japan. from a p3 quali to a race day dnf. we lost out this week, i’m sorry. i’ll do better in qatar 🇶🇦 see you then.

view comments…

f1updates: not a great race, but you’ll bounce back!! we love youuuu

maxverstappen1: the dnf wasn’t your fault. we’ll do better next week💙 you got this

↳ y/n.user: 💙💙

user2: soooo….we all seeing those hearts?

y/nfp8: don’t be too hard on yourself :( we <3 u

redbullracing: you got this next week!

racerbia: you’re gonna do amazing next week!! i cant wait to see you race. you’re amazing

↳ y/n.user: thanks bianca

f1fp33: omgggg y/n and bia?! she’s my fav f4 driver

↳ y/nsedits9: yessss, they are good friends :)

mv1wc6: i’m not breezing past the fact that max was so quick to comment like seconds after she posted…whipped

formula1pg: you got this‼️

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

twitter:

F1 News @f1news • 3hr ago

Redbull Racer, Y/n Y/l/n, was seen getting on her flight quickly after the Japan race last night where she dnfed.

The dnf was confusing at first, but it was not her fault. It seems that something went wrong with the car, which is rare for Redbull. They posted earlier on their story, “We are not sure what caused Y/n to dnf, but we are working with her car now to figure it out.” Not much, right?

Well, luckily she has her teammate and friend, Max Verstappen, to cheer her up in her comments. She was seen this morning, 1 hour before she posted her Instagram post about Japan, with Max. They were getting breakfast in Monaco….what do you think?

↳ Alyssa @lyssastalks • 3hr ago

Bro. Y/n did so good before the race. The car was fucked tbh. Its not her fault. As for her and Max? Shipppppp😋

↳ F1 Stat Page @stats4f1 • 2hr ago

I’m not sure if it was her or the car, but I lean towards the car. Her progress has been so good until last night. Unfortunately, that’s the game. If the car is fucked, so is the driver 🤷‍♂️

↳ Y/n and Max Pics @maxy/nship • 2hr ago

I ship them so hard, like pls pls pls. They are both so hot, funny, and the best drivers, imo. Power couple!!!!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

your instagram story:

seen by: maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 481,028 others

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

texts with max after media day, both of you in your hotels:

your pov:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

max texting daniel after he texts you goodnight:

maxs pov:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: maxverstappen1, lilymhe, and 567,139 others

y/n.user: so excited for the race tomorrow!! we start p1🥳 tune in to watch me beat max😋

view comments…

maxverstappen1: i wont let you win, but i would be okay with you winning

↳ landonorris: simp

↳ danielricciardo: such a simp

↳ charles_leclerc: hard core simping

user3: not the guys just calling max out LMAO

f1editpgs: you got thissssss!!! lfggggg

racerbia: you got it in the bag!

↳ y/n.user: tyy💓

redbullracing: 💙💙 woohoo!!

papayanews: not a redbull fan… BUT I AM A Y/N FAN🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳😋😋😋😋😋🤭🤭🤭💙💙💙

lailahasanovic: you got this babes!! mick and i will be cheering you on from the mercedes garage

↳ mickschumacher: i mean, i’ll be cheering lewis and george on but i’ll cheer y/n on too!

↳ lailahasanovic: yes, you will. loudly

↳ y/n.user: thank you?….

f1feministslay: beat the men!!

user7: calling in sick to watch this because it’s gonna be so good

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: y/n.user, danielricciardo, and 712,004 others

tagged: y/n.user

maxverstappen1: congratulations on the qatar win, y/n!! p1 on one of the hardest tracks, i’m so proud of you. it feels like just yesterday we were karting together and dreaming of our first wins, and here we are. we’ve made it

view comments…

maxfp1: PROPOSE ALREADY WTFFF SOBBING

y/n.user: i’m actually sobbing. thank you max😭❤️💙

↳ maxverstappen1: oh no

landonorris: check ur texts rn

user4: lando😭 guys the drama is dramaing

f1fp68: so cuteeee stopppp

wc20d: they’re gonna date, i’m calling it

y/nandmax1: FAVSSSSSSS

f1wags: our fav driver is gonna turn into a wag, guys

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

gc from max’s pov:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: y/n.user, danielricciardo, and 732,147 others

maxverstappen1: let’s play a game, teammates or dating?

view comments…

y/n.user: hmmmm🤔

redbull19: stoppppp this is too cute. i love them

user3: DONT EVEN. I LIVE

danielricciardo: FINALLY

↳ y/n.user: wdym “finally”?

↳ landonorris: max is a muppet and didn’t ask you out for agesssss

↳ maxverstappen1: im going to block you all, not y/n, but everyone else

↳ landonorris: 🖕

booktoks777: grumpy x sunshine fr

↳ anahuangsfanss: workplace romance !!

↳ reading4ever: forbidden romance?!

carmenmmundt: yesssss, i love you guys together 💓

↳ y/n.user: tyyy carm💓

user1: yupppp. adorable

charles_leclerc: so glad you two are together!😘

*liked by creator*

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: maxverstappen1, carlossainz55, and 604,134 others

y/n.user: austin dump🖤

view comments…

user2: “austin dump” of max?

charlottesine: okkkk, love🔥

↳ y/n.user: love you

↳ charlottesine: i love you😘

f1wags: brooooo stoppp that’s too HOT

rbw88: my fav drivers are literally dating 😩🩷

user7: butterflies 🦋💗

maxverstappen1: 🖤❤️🖤

↳ y/n.user: ❤️🖤❤️

landonorris: hm. partial slay bc that second one is tmi

321lightsout: austin is my fav track now🇺🇸🦅

form1234edits: let’s talk about how fit they are wtfff🫠

francisca.cgomes: love you two together

↳ y/n.user: ty kika💓

user5: obsessed 🔥🔥🔥

edits4f1: can’t wait to edit them cuz they are the hottest couple fr

danielricciardo: YESSIR 🦅🇺🇸 the power of austin brought everyone these pictures (we didn’t need the middle one)

↳ y/n.user: ugh but we look so good

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

1K notes · View notes

broadway-and-books-love · 2 years

Text

Just thinking about when I was an orientation leader my sophomore year of college and one of my supervisory tasks was movie night. They’d picked The Parent Trap (1998), which I had never seen. When I disclosed this, I was met by horrified disbelief from both my fellow OLs and our bosses (women in their 30s/40s). We had maybe 3 incoming freshmen come watch, it was a really hot night, and the mosquitos were out IN FORCE, but after the movie, I was cornered by one of my bosses (she sat next to me the whole time to gauge my reaction) so she could get my thoughts on it. And that’s how I ended up having a detailed discussion of a kids’ movie at midnight with a really nice lady after an exhausting week :)

#genuinely i love her so much #and this conversation was what got me the okay to take 23 credits that semester (she was in charge of that)#so thank you alyssa!!!

0 notes

twobluejeans · 11 months

Text

HEARTBREAK ON TOUR!

charles leclerc x famous!reader

summary: in which the lavender haze has been lifted. or in which america’s it couple splits.

part 5: relevancy, part 4: emo ponytail girl, part 3: dupeee, part 2: wtf does ET know?, part 1: don’t start

faceclaim: madison beer

ally’s radio 📻: PART 5! the drama goes on. a lot of tswift references 🫶

INSTAGRAM, july 12

liked by tchalamet, tomholland2013, and 7,456,134 others

yourinstagram. thank u amsterdam for an incredible 2 nights, had so much fun here. also thank u to alyssa and cami who allowed me to post these photos of them on here, great song choice btw💋

Comments on this post haven been limited.

INSTAGRAM, july 13

liked by kaliuchis, landonorris, and 9,555,164 others

yourinstagram you asked for it, we listened: mother and i went back into the studio specifically to record more lana on snow on the beach. love u @honeymoon. it will be a part of the new midnights (til dawn edition) deluxe album that you can preorder now at my online website (link in bio!)

as many of you know, when i released midnights 7 months ago, the original concept was fun, dreamy, n honestly a reflection of how i felt at the time. after going through a rather tragic breakup, i cannot see the album the same anymore because it isn't how i feel. it's not me. i revised the entire project during some free time between tour with some amazing people, and in a way, i'm grateful for that breakup! it inspired two, beautiful songs and an edition of the album that you will all be hearing soon. to make a long story short: my new single you’re losing me will be out midnight, 7/17!

Comments on this post have been limited.

TWITTER, july 13

INSTAGRAM, july 13

liked by charlesleclerc, lolaxcharles16, and 678,456 others

lolaransdell unapologetic

View all 234 comments

y/nslastkiss girl we can tell💀

grapejuicebluesy/n BYEEEE

verstappensainz55 girl u know what ur doing atp

selenagomezfan31 u wanna be her so bad 😭

INSTAGRAM STORIES, july 13

yourinstagram 29m

viewed by judebellingham, masonmount, and 456,782 others

yourinstagram 7m

viewed by fernandoalonso, landonorris, and 196,738 others

INSTAGRAM, july 14

liked by sweetcreaturey/n, honeymoonleclerc, and 543,123 others

lolaransdell just an appreciation post 🤍

View all 367 comments

charlidamelio i love you both so much!!

lolaleclerc16 you two are so adorable charles is so lucky

lolaransdell lolaleclerc16 i don't know ... I'm feeling like i hit the jackpot a bit more than he did :)

zenday/n lolaransdell definitely not babe 🔥🔥🔥

emmachamerlain my favorite couple i'm living for this

charlesandlolaupdates i still don't know who i wanna be more

lolaforce happy lola is my fave 🤍

daviastylessx you two are so cute 🥲 i'm glad you guys found each other especially after charles’s last relationship

lolaransdell davinastylessx i'm glad we found each other too! he makes me so happy and i try my best to do the same for him. we both have never felt love like this before

charlesforever lolaransdell ^ was that shade?

lolaransdell charlesforver no shade at all ! just being honest :)

TWITTER, july 14

ally’s radio 📻: thus the birth of the revenge era. sorry this was a short chapter, but i couldn’t leave my children starved. next one is better.

taglist 🦢🪩: @incoherenciass@dakotali@405rry@topaz125@sassyheroneckgiant@hevburn@itsmytimetoodream@ivegotparticulartaste@crowdedimagines @asterianax @haydee5010@scenesofobx@christinabae@magical-spit@dessxoxsworld@myareadsbooks@honethatty12@hopefulinlove@diasnohibng@gentlemonsterjennie1@hummusxx@eugene-emt-roe@taestrwbrry @pejarma @cxcewg@chimchimjiminie16@glow-ish@allywthsr @millyswife @mrsmaybank13 @black-swan-blog27

2K notes · View notes

theywhowriteandknowthings · 5 months

Note

frankie is a long time friend of a friend/runs in the same circles as you, and you both have a hate boner for one another. it all comes to a head bc he's the only one in the group chat who answers your call for aid when your [insert some busted appliance/plumbing fixture] and you're going to either fight, fuck or fumble this night.

WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE.

You ask, ye shall recieve. Thank you "nonnie" ;)

This blog is a 18+ space, Minors, do not engage. If you are under the age of 18 you are not welcome here. Your reading and consumption of my work is your responsibility but I will endeavour to mitigate any discomfort for you, the reader, as possible. Once again, this is a 18+ space and minors should not interact. Specific warnings: Enemies to Lovers, Angst, alcohol consumption, drug addiction, coke addiction, Frankie being mean/an asshole, Whiny Frankie Supremacy, weed smoking (medicinal), Ken Burns?, Country Music?, pining, angst, M!Masturbation, sub!Frankie.

Thank you @angelofsmalldeath-codeine for beta-ing this real quick. Word count: 2.3k

Frankie Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Part 2 | Part 3

Frankie pops his first beer of the night as he starts the next episode of the Ken Burns ‘Country Music’ documentary. He started it out of sheer lack of something better to do a few nights back, but now he’s hooked. He’s ready to settle in for the night, rolling a joint as a new message in the group chat comes in.

He checks it, only to see its you.

He locks his phone and turns it over; no way is he entertaining your bullshit tonight.

~*~

You sit there for what seems like forever, not a soul answering your cry for help in the group chat. You know it’s Friday night, you know everyone is likely to have plans, but the way water has flooded your kitchen is no joke.

So much for the joys of home ownership.

You lament as you wish there was a super contractually obliged to fix this mess. But it’s a week away from your next paycheque and you cannot afford to call in an emergency plumber. You’re about to give in and get your credit card out when a message comes through.

~*~

The credits roll at the end of the documentary and Frankie hums in approval, he realises he’s barely touched his beer, and his joint is similarly untouched, long gone out. He’s ready to put the next episode on and re-light as his modest buzz settles him into the recliner. Since quitting coke he’s found weed to be a welcome mellow fix that never tempts him too far but lets him mute the cravings otherwise. It has meant he’s gained a few pounds from all the munchies, but he takes that as a win. He was getting too skinny and working out is near impossible when so under-fuelled.

Absently he checks his phone again and his stomach drops.

No-one has answered your call for help, it’s been almost two hours. He shouldn’t care, the two of you butt heads on everything, you’re the Lex Luthor to his Superman. He hates you, at least, that’s what he tells himself. You challenge him in a way the other guys don’t. You don’t take his bullshit.

He swipes the message across to reveal the “Seen” tab, and his stomach drops. Everyone in the group chat has seen it, Alyssa, Barry, Benny, Santi, Will… the list goes on. There’s a pang of guilt in his gut as he realises just how desperate you must be right now.

He grumbles as he turns off the TV and snaps his lighter shut, putting his ashtray and joint aside. He’ll be damned if he leaves you hanging like this, no matter how much he claims to hate you.

~*~

You pace your hallway, waiting for the bane of your existence to arrive. You’re trying to put on a brave face, trying to ignore the coil in your gut. You play it off as anxiety, but you know it’s more than that.

You’re nervous because as much as you try and hate Frankie, he always gets under your skin. You’re always left wondering what his scruff would feel like on your skin, grazing your jaw, your neck. You hate Francisco Morales, but only as much as you secretly find him hotter than the sun.

He’s not a bad guy, you know he’s struggled with addiction, you know he and the guys saw some shit in the military. But there’s a rudeness reserved only for you when it came to social gatherings and interactions in the group chat.

You’d initially put it down to you being a new addition to the group – by way of Santi – after you two hit it off at a quiz night last year. But in that year, he has only seemed to close you off more and more. You’re almost at the point of looking for a new group of friends, if you’re completely honest with yourself. And you resent him for it.

You’re jolted from your thoughts as a fist pounding on your front door signals his arrival.

I have a doorbell asshole.

You grumble inwardly, but you tell yourself to play nice, Frankie’s doing you a favour here.

“Coming!”

You pause at the door, not wanting to seem too eager as you feel a nervous flutter in your stomach. You take a deep breath and swing it open to reveal Frankie in all his glory. Your chest constricts as you feel the inevitable bloom of desire in your core.

He’s wearing a floral pink and white Hawaiian shirt with a dark tank underneath that stretches across his soft belly. His sinful calves are on display under his tan cargo shorts and you try not to ogle him further as you welcome him into your home.

“Hey, thanks for doing this,” you start as he steps over the threshold, eyeing up your house with a methodical gaze, “Look, I know we’re not-,”

“Don’t worry about it, just show me where the sink is.”

He cuts you off, not looking at you as he speaks, and you bristle at his tone. It’s like he’s speaking down to a child, scolding you no less.

“This way,” you snap as you lead him into the kitchen and gesture at the sink, the cabinets below open ready for him. You feel his gaze on you. It makes you squirm, but you do your best to ignore the pooling of arousal in your panties.

“You turn the water off?” Frankie asks as he notices the multiple bath towels on the floor, sodden in your failed attempt to try and dry the place out. You’re just glad the kitchen is tiled.

“Yup.”

“Good,” he says almost to himself as he strips off his shirt, throwing it onto a countertop before getting on his knees. You prop yourself against the counter and wait, trying very hard not to stare as he gets on his back. He bends his knees to brace himself as he grabs the adjustable wrench that you’d been battling the U-bend with for the last hour. You try not to imagine how he’d look similarly stretched out on your sheets upstairs.

“Ok so good news, it’s not the U-bend,” Frankie says with a huff as he pops the entire faucet unit up and out of the basin, he rolls up onto his feet. You’re a little annoyed that he was able to determine the issue in minutes after you had spent over an hour googling and trying to fix it yourself.

“Oh?”

You are genuinely curious, so you push off from the counter to see what Frankie’s doing. He holds up the underside of the faucet, showing you a broken rubber ring sat at the neck of the mechanism. His shoulder brushes yours and you feel the fizzle of heat under your skin. Your heart flutters and you think he’s going to move away at the contact, but he seems only to lean in further.

He smells good. A faint hint of weed, which you know he has a prescription for, and his cologne, earthy and rich. It blends together into a smell you know by heart, something so uniquely Frankie, it makes you salivate. You hate how much you want a man who seemingly thinks so little of you.

“This happened to me last month,” he explains as he brings the offending washer into your eyeline, “Damn contractors used cheap fittings so they’re all going, Santi’s went last week.”

“So, I need a new tap? It’s that simple?” You groan in frustration, you’d been ready to spend hundreds of dollars to get this fixed, and here’s Frankie swooping in to save the day.

“Yup, but you’re not likely to get anything now,” Frankie looks at his phone, it’s way too late to be getting something decent. His eyes flick up to meet yours and you see his pupils dilate. There’s something in his deep, sinfully dark eyes that makes you wonder if you’ve been wrong about his feelings towards you all this time. But you avert your gaze, you’re probably just reading into things too heavily.

“Yeah, shit,” you sigh, “At least I’ve got bottled water, so I won’t die of thirst.”

“I can come by tomorrow to pick up and fit a new one if you want?”

The offer is out of Frankie’s mouth before he can stop it, his good nature tumbling out in an unusual display of kindness towards you. You furrow your brow, shocked by the sudden good will from him. It makes you nervous.

“Why’re you being nice to me all of a sudden?” You scoff, something about Frankie being so cold to you for the last year, only to play nice when you’re in distress makes your stomach turn. Like he’s trying to take advantage – or worse – pitying you.

“You needed help and no-one else was responding so I thought it was the right thing to do.”

He grumbles bitterly as he turns his back to you grabbing his shirt from the counter and hastily pulling it on as he turns to leave.

“You could have just left me hanging,” you snap, “What’s different today? Is it so you can lord this over me? Saving the poor little damsel in distress, another tool with which you can ridicule me with?”

“Ridicule you?” Frankie snaps, turning to face you, his face pained as if you’d struck him with a physical blow.

“Don’t play dumb,” you growl as you square up to him, “I hear the snide comments you make about me when we’re out with the others. Desperate this, lonely that.”

Frankie winces, he remembers exactly what you’re talking about now. That night months ago at a club in Orlando. You were dancing with someone you’d met at the bar, and he’d gotten jealous. He brushed it off to Will and Alyssa, going on the offensive instead of letting slip that he’d have done anything for it to be him you were grinding against. He just didn’t know you’d heard him as you went to get another drink.

“That was one time,” he growls but it’s a weak rebuttal and he knows it, “I was in a bad place.”

You know that; you know he was only a few months sober. He wasn’t in a good place when he first met you. But that’s no excuse to continue to treat you like he has ever since.

“Sure, but ever since you’ve looked at me like I don’t belong,” you hold his gaze, even as your eyes start to fill with tears, “Always dismissing my comments, rolling your eyes if I dare speak up in your presence, it gets tiring Frank- Francisco. You don’t have to like me, but they’re my friends too, don’t make me lose them just because you can’t stand me.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel that way I swear.”

“Yeah well, save it,” you say, pointing to the door, “I don’t need you to save me Francisco, and I sure as hell don’t need your pity. Get out of my house.”

“That’s not how it is, I promise,” he pleads but you’re not looking at him now, your cheeks are hot with embarrassment and you’re trying not to say something you’ll regret.

“Please, just leave,” you snap as you feel tears welling in your eyes.

“Yeah, ok.”

Frankie sighs as he runs his fingers through his hair, he brushes past you, and you hear a soft “I’m sorry.” As the door clicks shut behind him.

You feel your body tremble with rage as you find yourself unable to process the whole interaction. You pull out your phone and message the group chat.

You: Crisis averted.

You think you should add that it was Frankie who helped, but you’re feeling petty. All he did was show you the problem, he didn’t actually fix anything.

If anything he made things so much worse.

~*~

Frankie slumps back down in his recliner but he doesn’t turn the TV back on. Instead, he sits in silence and broods. He re-reads your message to the group chat and scowls. He has no right to be mad, not really, he knows that. But he really wishes he’d dealt with the situation better.

He looks down to his tented shorts and curses himself, the moment he showed you the faucet you were so close to him. The moment your arms touched he felt the rush of desire he suppresses every time he sees you. Now he’s worried he’s fucked it up completely. He can still smell you, the scent your bodywash he’s committed to memory now clings to his skin.

He forces himself upstairs and into the shower, running it ice cold, just to try and make his erection go away. But it doesn’t help. He’s painfully hard as he tries to think of anything else.

All he can think of is the way your skin felt against his, the way you called him Francisco. It was meant to spurn him, but he loved it. The way his name rolled off your tongue with derision. It’s all he can think of as he turns on the hot water and grips his cock. He pumps himself slowly as he feels the hot burn in his gut, he’s already so fucking close.

“Fuck,” he groans under the hot stream, “I’m sorry.”

He growls as he fucks himself harder to the thought of you putting him in his place. He’s never considered himself a sub, but it’s all he can think of now. He’s whimpering as he fucks his fist faster and faster at the memory of you chewing him out. He deserved it, and that makes it all the sweeter.

He wants you to make him suffer. Atone.

He comes with a whine as his spend splatters against the tiles and slowly washes away down the drain. He pants desperately for some time before washing himself off. He heads back downstairs to re-light his joint and watch another episode of his documentary. On a need-fuelled whim he texts you.

Frankie: If you want me to fix your sink, let me know, I’m free all day.

Frankie Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Part 2 | Part 3

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