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theodora3022 · 3 years

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Good Morning, Or Good Night(Pt.3)

Summary: Night and morning series part three! This time for my favourite boys + a little gift for a friend!

Notes: These are probably even more self indulgent than others since I love them too much. Sigma and Tetchou especially, soft but strong boys are my weakness-

Next part I will cover Yosano, Higuchi and Kouyou since I recently noticed there is a lack of content for the beautiful BSD ladies around here…

Tags: @rose-tragedy I hope you like this surprise gift! I included Lovecraft for you if that’s okay! I tried my best to write him... @dragoning1 here’s sigma as you asked!

Adding a cut for the last two boys since there will be manga spoilers.

Warnings: Fluff, self indulgent content, spoilers for the manga for anyone who only seen the anime!

Edgar Allan Poe

Bedtime: Whenever you go to sleep, or he may just stay up all night reading or writing novels.

Sometimes(it happens a lot) Edgar would get too invested in a book to eat dinner or sleep, you’ll have to remind him! Make sure he stays healthy and fed :) Brew him some of his favorite tea blends to make sure he stays hydrated!

“Ah, it’s dinnertime already? Thank you my dear, I will come right after I finish this paragraph. No Karl, you cannot go first.”

His ideal way to spend the nights would include :snuggling under a blanket with you and Karl, reading books under dim candle lights near a fireplace(if it’s winter of course).

But if you insist, Edgar will come shopping with you! As long as he gets to stop by a bookstore on the way. Be prepared to drag him out of there after two hours-

Since he lives alone in canon, I imagine Edgar usually orders takeout or buy bulks of frozen dinner at a time to avoid cooking himself. If you are willing to eat these with him, that’s no problem! But if you want to cook up things yourself, Edgar would be happy to eat them. He doesn’t strike me as the picky type, so as long it’s edible he won’t complain and will just swallow. His face would lit up if it’s delicious though!

Edgar doesn’t need to “Go to work” per se, being the guild’s planner allows him to work from home, as long as the plans are available for pick up by the end of the week. So you bet him likes to sleep in. Unless you have a regular job he will want you to stay in bed with him and Karl.

If you decide to urge him to get up, however, Edgar will grumble like a little kid. He would only begrudgingly get up after thirty minutes of you lecturing the benefits of being an early riser.

Help him brush that messy hair, tie his tie in different styles, much like Ranpo he loves being taken care of. Edgar will pack a lunch for you if you have to leave for work!

Howard Phillps Lovecraft

Bedtime:...Bold of you to assume he has one. Like he won’t just fall asleep randomly on the couch or anywhere really. It would be more useful to know about his conscious schedule.

I assume you work in the Guild along with him, if they have 9-5 work days he will try to get enough sleep in the evening but no promises. (A/N: I seriously cannot find any info on this forgive me ahhh)

He doesn’t mind if you play with his hair, in fact he loves it when you buy all kinds of elastic and hairclips for them. Howard never bothered to keep it tidy himself, but it feels...quite nice. Maybe he is just too lazy to care.

Regular shopping?Like for clothes? Buy him some chocolates on your way home, he’s going to bed. If you want to go grocery shopping? Howard is putting his coat on and ready to go. He might not have much passion for other things, but when it comes to food consider him interested.

“No, we don’t have space for this much of Icecream? That’s disappointing. Maybe we just need a bigger fridge.”

Do not be surprised if you two come home with fifty boxes of ice cream of different flavours. His tencicles will help to carry them!

If work calls for early risings, you would need to get Howard out of bed and get him dressed. How he managed to keep his position in the Guild before is a mystery. Fitzgerald didn’t fire him for being late to work this much?

(A/N: An attempt was made, please don’t criticize me too harshly ahhhh)

Proceed with caution! The following section contains manga spoilers!

Suehiro Tetchou

Bedtime:10pm, but on days off he is willing to push it to 11pm.

As soldiers, Tetchou and you have to follow a healthy sleeping schedule, to preserve yourselves in best condition for any emergencies. But he cannot say no to your watery eyes when you plead on holidays. One hour is all he will compromise.

Like Tachihara, this guy loves to work out! Be his workout buddy, time his planks and count his pushups! Tetchou would even let you sit on his back while doing push ups just to get some extra weight and to hear your giggle.

While he prefers to exercise the evenings away, Tetchou is not opposed to watching some cheesy rom coms maybe twice a week. Expect him to make odd remarks to the storyline and the characters though.

“Why is her hair braided that way? Oh, it’s not important to the plot? Alright. Wait, there is a dog, and he is not important either? Then why include him at all?”

Tetchou loves cuddling, would often bury his face on the crook of your neck and tickle you with his breath and unruly hair.

An Emergency mission in the middle of the night is nothing foreign to him. But you won’t hear him if you are not needed. Tetchou knows his way of being stealthy! But if you are needed, expect him to carry you out of bed an hour before, dressing you in your uniforms and putting your hair into a quick ponytail if you are still sleepy.

He is not like the last two lazy ones, Tetchou got training to do! The mornings you two would go for a daily run in the base gym, followed by a set of stretch exercises. Then if you are lazy and would just prefer to eat in the base cafeteria, Tetchou would come along. But if you want to cook something in the little kitchen of your shared quarters, let him help with the food preparation!

Learn some reasonable dishes of his favorite color combo, and you will have a Tetchou smiling non-stop while stuffing himself. He will try to cook some regular food too, but the taste...I won’t comment on it.

Sigma

Bedtime:??? most nights you literally have to force him to go to bed at a reasonable hour!

Life as a casino manager is a busy one, with overtimes. Even with your help, Sigma would overload himself with work and get into a bit of a workaholic state often.

You cannot count how many times you had to carry him to bed at midnight. He would always apologize for bothering you, and even when you insist he is not, Sigma would still buy you something to make it up. Maybe a nice dress or another set of colorful fountain pens.

“I know I get crazy sometimes, but you and the casino is all I have, love. Please forgive me for letting you worry. Thank you for bearing with me.”

When he is actually free, or you convinced him to relax for a bit, Sigma would probably be willing to accompany you to anywhere you want. The world is still new to him, so many things to explore and try. If you take him to an amusement park he would probably scream on the rollercoasters but want to try them again!

Saying Sigma is the dictionary definition of clingy would be an understatement. Can’t blame him though, he got major abandonment issues, or separation anxiety, whichever you wish to call it. Even when he is working, you need to be somewhere in sight. It gets even harder when you two are in bed, since Sigma will not let you go to the washroom even if he is deep in the dream realm. You know he cannot control himself while sleeping, so just remember to not drink too much water before bed!

He would have the chef of the Casino restaurant to cook the meals since he does not wish to bother himself or you with these time consuming things. But if you baked some chocolate chip cookies, be ready for this man trailing after you like a needy puppy!

Part 1 for ADA

Part 2 for Port Mafia

#bsd #bsd x reader #bsd fanfic #bsd headcanons #bsd fluff #bsd poe #bsd edgar allan poe #bsd lovecraft #bsd howard phillips lovecraft #bsd tecchou #bsd suehiro tetchou #bsd sigma #bsd poe x reader #bsd lovecraft x reader #bsd tetchou x reader #bsd tecchou x reader #bsd sigma x reader

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cloud9in · 3 years

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Driving Lessons Pt 2 (Poppy x Bea)

Long awaited. I hope you all enjoy. This is the finale of the series but I think that Bea and Poppy’s high school stories should be continued.....

Read Part 1 HERE

Tags: @samanthadalton @somewillwin @baexpoppy @poppysmc @clowneryme @thedaft1 @zigxryanz @aleiramacaii

Word Count: 2.6k

Pt 2: The Date

Friday night had arrived and Bea’s nerves were at an all time high. She practiced breathing exercises that conveniently popped up on Youtube, there was no room for thoughts other than that of a blonde cheerleader. The buzz of her phone prompted her to jump up in excitement.

1 message from Poppy🙄

Poppy: I’m 99% sure that you haven’t forgotten about our “date” tonight. But if you did I’m not here to remind you. I’ll be here in 5 minutes. Remember, dress casual. ❣

A familiar grin crept its way onto Bea’s lips as she reread the message about twenty times, taking note of the heart at the end. It may seem conventional, but even that was a lot coming from Poppy. Another message popped up which induced a smirk from the brunette.

Poppy: No, I am not driving the Benz.

Bea set her phone down and spun around to check herself out in the mirror. She wore black ripped jeans with a red plaid design in the holes, red converse, and an oversized grey and black long sleeve. This should definitely fit Poppy’s definition of casual, right?

The blonde arrived outside of Bea’s house just as she reached the front door. Poppy was the first to react, her jaw threatening to drop open as she took in Bea’s appearance, all of it. Luckily, she was the queen of poker face’s and masked her thirsty expression….Bea on the other hand, failed horribly. She stood there wide eyed, her hands hanging uselessly by her sides as she studied the blonde. Poppy wore a white and pink checkered wool skirt, a knitted pink sweater, and a white crop top. Her jewelry also dazzled brightly against her neck. The blonde watched Bea amusingly, “you can quit ogling me now...:”

Bea darts her eyes away self consciously. “Your uh...jewelry is distracting.” Really Bea. Nice going. She winces at her excuse and Poppy arches an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the flustered mess of the brunette in the moment.

“Hmm..well come now. I don’t like to waste time.”

Like a puppy being offered food, Bea follows Poppy into her silver Range Rover. She gapes at the pristine interior and the stars on the ceiling. “I thought those star things only existed in Rolls Royce’s.” Poppy smirks appreciatively, her fingers flexing on the steering wheel, “Oh they do, but I have my ways.”

Bea tries to convince Poppy to tell her where they’re going, but she scoffs immediately, not even turning her head in the brunette’s direction. “It’s a surprise.”

“I didn’t take you for a girl that likes surprises to be honest.”

“Well then there’s a lot you don’t know about me, Hughes.”

Bea fought the urge to ask Poppy to elaborate, to tell her every last detail about her. What flavor of ice cream she liked, what she loved to do on a rainy day, but there’s that moment of insecurity that pushes her away from indulging in those thoughts. She didn’t want to seem overly-interested.

But maybe that’s what Poppy wanted.

The sudden quietness becomes obvious and Poppy peers over at the brunette, “I could always let you test drive this one. Maybe brush up on your driving skills?” Bea side eyes Poppy suspiciously, memories of Monday night’s driving lessons infiltrating her mind. “I can’t tell if you’re being serious right now..”

“Of course I’m not! You don’t think I remember what you did to my other baby?! You’re lucky you were hurt in the process, otherwise who knows what I would have done…” Poppy glances quietly over at Bea, her eyes carefully scanning the scar that sits on her forehead.

Bea smiles sheepishly, her hand reaching up to move her locks back. “I don’t think I wanna know- wait hey! What do you mean I was lucky-”

“Oh please, you were lucky that I took you to a hospital. You are crazy Hughes, you know that?”

“Crazy for you? Well now that you mention it…”

Poppy rolls her eyes but can’t stop the smile that erupts on her face. “...Just let me take a look at it later. I need to make sure it’s healing right.”

“Whatever you say doctor!” Bea mock salutes the blonde which earns another heavy eye roll, emphasis on heavy, but she didn’t mind. The opportunity to be less than an inch away from Poppy’s luscious lips again? Hell yes.

“Okay, but what did your dad say? I’m sure he understood it was a complete accident.”

“Mhm tell that to the insurance company. Which reminds me, you will be receiving a bill in the mail sometime next week for all the damages.”

Bea nearly leaped out of her seat as her head snapped towards the blonde, who looked like she was having a great time. “Pop...you’re joking right...that is a thing you are doing right now.” Poppy rolls her eyes with enjoyment, letting out a soft chuckle. “Don’t get your panties in a twist, Farmsville, I know you can’t even afford a tire.

“Wha-...hey!”

***

After continuous bickering which almost prompted Poppy to unlock the passenger side door and kick Bea out...psychically, while they were doing 80 on the freeway, she eventually pulled into a parking lot. The only main source of light was the huge sign illuminating the words, “Animal Shelter”. Bea blinks in confusion for a few seconds before realizing she was the only one in the car. Poppy had already started walking towards the entrance, greeting a man with a….smile? Oh yeah, Bea was definitely curious now. Poppy actually looked relaxed when Bea had finally caught up with her. The blonde noticed her approach and hummed to herself, “took you long enough, hurry lets go inside.”

“Pops-did you take a wrong turn...this is an animal shelter...”

The blonde rolls her eyes so far back into her brain as she grasps onto Bea’s words. “No I did not take a wrong turn you imb--.....this..this is the place I picked.” The brunette flicks her eyes continuously between Poppy and the entrance before shrugging, a surprised expression on her face. Before Bea could say anything else, Poppy grabs her hand and pulls them into the store and into the column where cute puppies reached for them. A beautiful smile immediately lit up Poppy’s features as she bent down to pet one of the baby bulldogs. This gesture immediately enraptured Bea as she watched...Poppy? Or whoever this was.

Not wanting to disturb the moment Bea leans down to the cage next to her and picks up the golden retriever who happily licks her face. “Woah okay there boy, a little too much tongue.” She holds up the puppy as he barks playfully and wiggles in her arms.

“I’m definitely not complaining about your destination of choice, but can you tell me why you picked it?”

Bea gazes over at Poppy who looks like she’s in her true element. The blonde sighs and stands up, brushing her skirt down. “Well my parents own the place…and well to put it bluntly, some of these animals don’t have much time left.”

She turns towards Bea, watching her safely caress the puppy in her arms, and smiles, “I figured you have a close connection with animals and would want to make them feel loved before they go.”

Bea watches Poppy with a warm look in her eyes, and it was funny because Bea had been around the cheerleader a lot, but this...was different. Almost incredible. And Bea knew that this was the start of a feeling that she would never get enough of.

“I would. Thank you.”

The two girls spend a good amount of time playing with the animals. Poppy helped Bea feed newborn strays with a bottle of milk, more than often grabbing a hold of the brunette’s hand to steady the slight tremble. Bea didn’t want to admit she was nervous because Poppy was very close to her. And Poppy would never admit that Bea was doing everything right, but she wanted to hold her hand because it felt incredibly soft for a girl who worked on a farm everyday.

But she wasn’t the only one who was very observant that night. Bea kept her mouth shut about the situation, but this new side of Poppy blew her mind. There was so much to ask, to say, but the moment was too valuable to ruin.

The time seemed to go by quickly as the shelter started to close down. The time they spent with the animals felt fulfilling but Bea never missed the solemn look on Poppy’s face as she watched one of the older cats rest peacefully. There was so much to learn about the girl, and Bea thought it was best that she kept this date going.

Food. That could work.

“Hey pops...I know I said you could pick the place but there’s somewhere else I want to take you. If you’re up for it.”

If it was anyone else, Poppy probably would have cussed at them for taking up too much of her time. But this was Bea, and something in her couldn’t say no. “As long as it doesn’t involve you and I in a forest alone.” The brunette laughs easily, wrapping her arm around Poppy’s waist without a second thought. “Oh please, do you really think that’s how I’d get rid of you?”

Poppy seems to lean into her touch, letting her strawberry blonde locks brush up against Bea’s cheeks, “I doubt you’d be the one getting rid of me darling, but sure.”

***

“....Alright I take it back! I’ll even let you drive the car because I am not eating at a diner.”

“Oh come on, they have the best milkshakes in town!”

The brunette drags Poppy towards the diner without letting go because if she did, Poppy would probably scream bloody murder in the middle of the lot.

Bea led her towards a booth in the back, only then freeing her arm. Poppy plops into the seat after realizing there was no way she could charm her way out of this. “Don’t look so bummed out, you’ll change your mind when you try the famous strawberry milkshake.”

“I have never had a milkshake in my life.” Poppy visibly cringes, her posture stiffening at the thought of a sugary liquid infiltrating her body.

“Well today is your lucky day baby.” Bea winks at her and calls over a waitress who seems too comfortable with laying a hand on the brunette’s shoulder. It wasn’t evident whether the severe blush on Poppy’s face was because of Bea unknowingly using a pet name or because of the mystery girl who decided to do the most in her presence.

“We’ll have the regular Tasha, oh and the strawberry milkshake please.”

“Just one? What about your friend over here?”

Poppy snaps her head up at the waitress who seemed to scan her every move. Something Poppy was definitely used to. Her hands are the first to make a move, slowly trailing their way up Bea’s arm from across the table. She doesn’t take her eyes off the waitress as she speaks softly. “Oh we’ll be sharing it honey. Put a cherry on top too okay?”

The waitress reverts her eyes from the two and walks away without a word. Poppy watches her leave, biting her lip with satisfaction.

Bea can’t help but smirk to herself. “Oh you cannot take your eyes off of her can you? Relax, she’s an old friend.”

The blonde scoffs, keeping her hands on the surface of Bea’s skin. “I don’t care who she is. Does she flirt with every customer in here? What happened to having class? Or some sort of decent? I mean do you talk to pigs like this?

Bea squints her eyes and sighs warily. “Poppy this is not a five star restaurant, and that’s what you call being polite and kind to well known customers. People here are normal, not trained robots.”

Poppy shrugs to herself, her eyes darting around to the wall decorations and other people who are chatting happily with their families. The atmosphere did feel warm and peaceful, nobody sat up straight and practiced proper table manners. Nobody judged her for who she was or what designer she wore. There was room to actually breathe. Bea could sense the blonde slowly starting to adapt and relax in their new environment and she couldn’t be more grateful for making the right decision. When their food had come, Bea slid the milkshake towards Poppy and smiled shyly. “It’s all yours if you like it, we don’t have to share.”

“Nonsense Hughes, I can’t possibly drink this all by myself…but I call dibs on the cherry.” She steals the cherry from the top and plops it into her mouth, eyes sparkling from the burst of flavor. It was nothing compared to the milkshake though, Poppy swore she saw stars when tasting the sweet liquid. Bea laughs as a whipped cream mustache develops on the blonde’s lips after hogging the shake for herself.

***

“I’m paying for our next date by the way.”

Bea peers over at Poppy who walked her to her front door, “oh so there’s gonna be another one?” She can’t help but smile at Poppy’s sudden shyness.

“Well I enjoyed tonight, a lot. Maybe more than a lot.”

“I did too.”

The silence that consumed them wasn’t exactly uncomfortable but it was enough to make them stare at each other. Bea’s mind started to fog as she thought about finally closing the distance between them. She wanted nothing more than to mask the silence with a kiss. Bea looks at Poppy, who seems to be lost in thought.

“What are you thinking?”

“What?”

“You’re usually deep in thought when your eyebrows scrunch together like that. Or maybe you’re just planning on jumping me as soon as I turn around.”

Poppy smiles softly. “Do you know the feeling when the thing you wanted the most is right in front of you, yet it still feels unreal and almost impossible.”

Bea takes a deep breath and nods, “I do.”

Okay Hughes you’re gonna kiss her in 3. You’re gonna make the move. Come on.

But of course Poppy had other plans.

“Mmh!”

The feeling of Poppy’s soft lips had caught Bea completely off guard. A hum of pleasure escaped her mouth as the heat started to increase between them. Bea grabbed hold of Poppy’s cheek and steadied the kiss, her eyes slowly started to shut as she sunk into the warm, smooth feeling. Bea smiles into the kiss as Poppy’s tongue begins exploring the depths of her mouth, and she bites back a moan when the blonde takes her bottom lip between her teeth, tugging it slightly, feeling the desire pooling in the pit of her stomach. Poppy places her lips back on Bea’s, passion igniting once more as Bea begins to dominate the kiss, her hands finding her way to the blonde’s waist, pulling her in even closer.

Poppy felt like she could kiss Bea forever, if it wasn’t for the need of oxygen. When they both finally pulled back, the blonde laughed with joy. “That felt so amazing.”

Bea wanted to blow a huge sigh of relief that Poppy initiated the kiss, because imagine fucking that up. She just held her close and basked in the moment. Her lips swelled with excitement as she still felt the ghost of Poppy’s tongue tracing it. Poppy always had something to say, but right now there was so much more she could do. And the first thing she would do is finally make Bea hers.

***

if you want to be tagged in any Poppy fics let me know.

#poppy x mc #poppy min sinclair #mc x poppy #playchoices #queen b #choices stories you play

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gojoscloset · 3 years

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“Hello, I just read your writing d**k appointment and I like it very much. And suddenly, I saw that you open the request NSFW dialogue prompts. Would you please write prompt 60 “Looks like someone wants to be a dad/mom” with Gojo or Megumi please 🥺”

Bahaha omg I’m so sorry I’m late as hell I’ve been busy with a lot mentally cause I have the attention span of a goldfish.

Please please enjoy, thank you so much for requesting lol. I’m back on my bullshit ✨

60. “Looks like someone wants to be a mom/dad”

WARNINGS: N S F W

Reposted from previous account

Smut obvs.

Breeding kink???? (if you squint)

Cream pie

Mentions of Pregnancy

No proofread??

————-

“Looks like someone wants to be a mom.”

You didn’t dare look away from what you thought had to be one of the cutest pairs of baby shoes you have ever laid your eyes on.

“Hmm? What do you mean? I just thought they were cute!” you lifted the pair of shoes up and gave your boyfriend a grin.

But Satoru was no idiot.

You see, these past few months have been filled with nothing but waves of emotions and ideas that you would have never thought you would have contemplated this early in life, but a pregnancy scare earlier in the year shook your world and turned it on its axis.

Of course you had imagined a life with Satoru, possibly married in the later years, and a potential family way wayyy down the line. However, you were content with where you two stood. A strong and healthy relationship, 2 consenting adults in love. But you also had to remember you were 2 powerful sorcerers in love. So even with your line of work, kids at the moment seemed really out of the question. Hell, even being in a relationship with someone like Satoru was a blessing with the lives you two lived. So even the idea of bearing his child seemed like you were asking for a lot from the universe.

When your period came late, all your little fantasies and thoughts of having a family took a step closer to becoming reality, you melted at the idea of becoming a mother and all your fears and doubts were thrown out the window.

But alas, the joy left just as fast as it came you were back on your regular schedule the day before your doctor's appointment. Relieved of course, but things weren’t the same.

Day after day you caught yourself indulging more and more in the idea of what your life would be like with a child. Would your first child be a girl or a boy? Whose features would they take on the most? Oh how you prayed to the gods that they would look more like Satoru than anything.

Would you be a good mother? Would Satoru be a good father? There was no doubt in your mind that he would be.

Don’t even get started on the names.

Your gaze would linger when you would pass up children and their parents at a park. Or when you would pass up baby clothes at the shopping strip, you would stop in your tracks and imagine your future child wearing that outfit.

Secretly you would shop for clothes online just to ‘see what they look like’ Or secretly read first time mom forums on breddit just to ‘See how it feels’ but it was so much more than just a passing curiosity.

And of course, You weren’t the only one who noticed the change.

You and Satoru have been in the love game for a respectable amount of time, and have spent the seconds, hours,days,weeks,months,years, in each other's presence. He would absolutely be able to acknowledge when you’d turn your head in the kids section or when your gaze would linger on the little girls in princess dresses at the market, corners of your lips curling just a little.

Or when a toddler at the grocery store handed him a fake phone,in which he pretended to answer with such enthusiasm you would almost believe he was actually on the phone with someone,he could visibly see how your heart melted at the sight. You looked at him like you wanted to marry him on the spot for the rest of the day. A personal favorite memory of his.

Satoru was a dumbass, but he was not stupid.

You didn’t know how much he loved seeing these little things, the little changes in you. Behind his tinted shades and through his long lashes, he would carefully watch your duality go from powerful sorcerer to something maternal.Something you never did in all the time he has known you until after the scare.

It made him want to jump your bones on the spot and put a baby in you every time, but you never brought up the topic despite seeming to be interested in motherhood, and respectfully he left it alone. But you had been caught red handed almost always.

Satoru held himself back when he had various opportunities to talk about it, do you know how hard that is to do as Satoru?

He wanted to press on. He wanted to pry and ask you all kinds of questions regarding the sudden change, but he knew that there was a time and place for everything, and now was definitely not the time nor location.

“Hey, not bad!” He allowed his glasses to slip off the bridge if his nose ever so slightly to get a better view.

“I would wear these if they came in my size”

He joked, you smacked his arm playfully and laughed.

“Cmon lets g-“

You were about to place the shoes back on the rack but he stopped you before you did. He pulled out his phone and snapped a few photos of the shoes and tag.

“I was being serious” he stated plainly, earning another laugh from the both of you.

——

The rest of the day went on as normal, for the most part. The little interaction at the store replayed not only in your mind but Satoru’s as well.

‘Did I make it too obvious?’

‘Did I overdo it with the shoes?’

‘Is it time to talk about it?’

—-

‘Toru..’ you whined but that didn’t stop him from continuing to bend you like a pretzel while plowing into you.

“Don’t be shy now, you look so good like this. ...And those faces you make....” he licked his lips reaching out to grab your jaw, thumb running across your lip.

Even though you were whining about the embarrassing positions he kept putting you in, your body was on fire and didn’t want this to end.

With every position he managed to go deeper and deeper, hitting places only he knew how to hit. He utilized the curve of his dick just how you liked it, grazing your favorite spots with every thrust.

The way your walls fluttered and clenched against his made them his favorite spots too.

It was crazy to you how Satoru knew your body like nobody else did. He knew every curve, every dip, every corner. He knew what made you weak in the knees and what you disliked with a passion. He knew what made you cream, what made you wet, what made your back arch and your toes curl.

“You like that Hmm?” He bucked his hips, folding your legs up, pushing your knees as close to your chest as possible.

He gazed into your eyes, watching the way your face wrenched in pleasure. He needed that, he loved that. Being able to see your expression contour and twist because of him, god it got him off.

He looked down at you, his usually spiky hair now flattened with sweat, strands sticking to the side of his face. He bit his lip, and gripped your hips with force, bruises were guaranteed.

He brought you closer, you slowed your breathing to control the ride. You two had been fucking long enough to know the Cues, the way your body twitched and the little sounds you would make when you were close triggered the muscle memory and he moved in the way he knew would push you over the edge.

“D..Don't slow down!” You commanded, throwing your head back into the sheets, the familiar tingling sensation starting at your core, his pace picking up, hands trailing down your abdomen, fingers circling around your clit, wet with its own slick.

He couldn’t help but suck on his own bottom lip watching your body rock in rhythm with his, the way your breast bounced, he couldn’t help but grab a handful.

“That’s right baby….” he spoke softly, voice just above the lewd sounds you two we’re making. The squelching, skin slapping skin, the gasping sounds when he would thrust back into you.

He was getting carried away, letting the words just spill from his lips. “Mmmm fuck yeah baby, you feel so fucking good.” He groaned “fuck around and put a baby in you-“

You had been with this man for many many moons, had been through thick and thin, but nothing had prepared you two for that awkward moment.

All movements ceased the second he stopped talking. Both of you pulled away and just looked at each other, embarrassment demonstrated on both of your faces.

Both of you seemed to think about the Barget incident, and then every other incident which made the dirty talk hit different.

“Sorry” Quickly he spoke, in hopes of somehow saving his ass in case things went south.

“W-what for?” You continued to try and mask your feelings about the situation(s), but nothing could get past his eyes.

He was no idiot, you knew that, but you still tried him, because sometimes he lets your shit slide. But not this time.

“Please y/n, I’ve seen the change in you.”

The air was thick, momentarily, but the smile on his face gave you clarity.

“The lingering looks, the shoes at the store… I’ve noticed” his large hands cupped your face, thumb brushing calming shapes against your cheek.

“Is there something we need to talk about?”

He released you from your position and sat up straight.

“Toru…do you really wanna talk about this now?????” Sheepish under the circumstances

“Don’t give me that. We’ve been together too long for you to try and play this game with me.”

His hands found their way to you once again. Pulling you by the wrists, he sat you up and made you look at him as he continued to speak.

“Communication remember?” He was soft, yet stern.

“You haven’t been the same since the missed period incident.” Your jaw dropped, he was on it even with the timing.

There was no sense in hiding anything anymore, this man knows all, this man sees all.

“I’d be lying if I said you were wrong….you see..” you began to pour your heart out, trying your hardest to keep eye contact with him.

“The pregnancy scare heightened the want for a family with you, Satoru. I envision a lot of things, and you being in my future for a long long time is one of them...”

He held your gaze while looking at you like you were the most beautiful thing in the world. He listened intently like you were whispering the secrets of the universe to him.

“But I never brought up the topic of family because we’re-“

“Sorcerers” He finished the sentence for you, the small smile he held earlier now turned into a flat line.

The speed in which he did was almost enough to make you flinch. Bittersweet in a way,at least this confirmed that he too thought about a family with you at one point but considered the circumstances.

A“Exactly..” you continued. “And the scare made me realize what I want in life..with you. But it’s out of reach and it’s not something I wanted to project onto- “

His large hands placed themselves in either side of your face and Satoru showered you with kisses.

“I. Love. You. So. Much.” He spoke in between kisses.

“I love you too, but- AH!!! What are you doing??!”

Satoru pulled you by your ankles, placing himself in between your legs once again.

“Putting a baby in you, that's what.” He gave you such a sweet and loving look, it didn’t match the words that spewed from his lips.

“T-that’s not funny…” Quickly, you covered your entrance before he even thought about it.

“Exactly, because it wasn’t a joke sweetheart.”

“Wait, but what about-”

“We’ll be fine, i’m the strongest, remember?” he gave you a playful wink and grabbed your wrists, playfully prying your hands away, he wasn’t going to do anything though, not without your consent, but seeing how flustered he could make you fed the already enlarged ego he owned.

“Now tell me, do you want a boy or girl? Ooh, what about their names?”

“ Satoru… wait… are you sure? Don’t you wanna think about it a little more?”

He let out a playful laugh and pointed a finger dramatically at you, “Are you sure?”

Without missing a beat you nodded, you wanted this so bad, and by the looks of it, so did he.

“That’s all you had to say, let me take care of you, my pillow princess”

-------------

The sultry night was young.How many times have you came already? It didn’t matter.

His arms were wrapped around your entire body, holding you in place as he bounced you up and down his shaft.

“My pretty girl… my sweet sweet princess.” He whispered against your skin, tongue grazing from your collar bone up to your jaw, tasting your sweat. He wanted to breathe you in, and make you his air. The words replayed in his mind as he fucked you senseless.

“and you being in my future for a long long time is one of them...”

“Toru…” Your breathing hitched,, his praise made your walls twitch around him. He got the hint and immediately went to work. In a swift movement you were beneath his form. His skin glistening with a layer of sweat.

“ How do you want it?” he groaned, draping your leg over his shoulder while grabbing the other one, spreading you wider. You were grateful for the change of position, you have been wanting to touch him for a while now but the grip he had you in earlier was not letting it happen.

Your hands hungrily made his way to his chest and arms.

“As long...as I get it…” you managed to mutter through moans. His thrusts became erratic, a sign that he was coming undone as well.

“Look at me..tell me how you want it....tell me how you need it” he licked his lips with desire. You managed to look at him through half lidded eyes, giving him exactly what he wanted, he always did the same for you.

You lifted your hips up some, grinding harder against him, letting more of him fill you up, you could swear you felt his head kiss your cervix. You did a kegel, walls giving his dick a hug.

The actions earned you a breathy moan, he almost lost his cool, it threw off his pace momentarily but when he picked back up, the speed was doubled.

“You like to play dirty, hmm? “

“The only way I like to play…”

“Very well then” he said through grit teeth, finger moving to where you were connected, rubbing your clit in circles without mercy. You were pushed over the edge quickly, mouth Ajar, and body convulsing against him, his movements did not falter.

“That’s my good girl”

He lowered his body down mouth to cage you between his arms, droplets of sweat falling onto the sheets as he tried to avoid sweat falling into your eyes.

“Are you sure?”

He asked once again, not moving an inch until you gave him the go.

You simply stared up at him, goofy grin he always carried on him plastered onto his handsome face.

You gave him the go once again and he bucked his hips.

This particular moment was sweet sweet bliss. Normally Satoru would be careless with his movements when it came to chasing his orgasm, but not this particular one. His touches would linger, fingertips burning themselves into your skin with passion, making their way from your hips to your hands, large fingers filling in the gaps between your own.

His kisses were oh so immaculate. Sweet and soft, but most importantly, abundant.

And the way he spoke your name. Only Satoru could make his words come out like they were coated in honey.

His hips snapped and he gave your hand a squeeze, face in the crook of your neck, the hot breath against your skin forced chills down your spine, with you

“I love you so much…” he groaned into your ear. With a few more bucks of his hips you felt his seed spill into you. You were running on fumes at this point, overkill with the overstim, but that’s how you liked it.

You felt your clit throb, your walls still fluttering against him from your previous climax like they were sucking every last drop of out of him.

He looked down at you silently, but the look on his face, the calm waters in his eyes said everything he needed to say. You couldn’t tear away your gaze, you were already high off the blue dream.

His eyes moved from yours to your lips, they looked needy to him. He bent his head down and planted a kiss, despite the scenario, it was chaste. Innocent. Refreshing.

“I love you.” He repeated, though he had no doubt you felt the same. “I know you do...there is not a single doubt in my mind...and I love you oh so very much, more than I could ever put in words.”

There was another comfortable silence, however, the small smile that was on your face quickly turned into a flustered look when he pulled out of you and spread your legs open, looking at the mess he made inside of you.

“W-what the fuck are you doing?!!”

You laughed nervously and tried closing your legs, but he held them open, too strong for you to try and fight against it.

“I just wanted to see the masterpiece I made. Plus-“ he positioned himself between your legs again

“I’m not done, I want to make sure I get the job done right.”

He gave you a wink, and immediately you knew you were in for a long night.

A very very long night.

#jjk headcanons #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x y/n #gojo satoru #gojo x y/n #gojo x you #gojo x reader #satoru gojō x reader #satoru gojo #Nasty Nept✨

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gravegroves · 3 years

Note

Can I ask about 2 and 8 for the wip tag game?

I've already talked about 8 (search #tag game in my tags and you'll find it).

But omg thank you for asking about 2!!

2. Like a Bat Out of Hell, Indiana

Oh man, oh man. This. This right here? This is my baby. My precious. The one I wrote so self indulgently that even if no one else likes it, I LIKE IT. And I'm completely okay with that.

El and Hopper fail at closing the gate at the end of s2, Billy appears at the Byers' house just in time and so begins a mad dash across the country, trying to outrun the end of the fucking world.

Tw: death (no one we care about though)

Excerpt:

The sound of a car roaring into the driveway has Steve's heart crashing up into his throat and they all turn to watch as headlights dance across the living room walls, sharp and blinding, like a goddamn beacon of hope.

And Steve doesn't have time to think about why the deep rumbling of the engine sounds so familiar.

He moves the kids now or they die.

"Get to the car, now!" Steve screams, just as the window at the end of the hall explodes inward.

Max gets to the door first and tears out of the house, sprinting toward the high beam lights with the boys hot on her heels.

"Billy!" She screams and goddamnit she can't mean--

She reaches the car, yanks the passenger side door open and pushes the front seat forward, shoving Dustin, Mike and Lucas into the back before diving in herself, righting the front seat in a practised move just in time for Steve to jump in after her.

And yep. There he is.

Hargrove's expression would be hilarious if they weren't seconds away from being overrun by a horde of carnivorous monster dogs.

"What the fuck do you losers think you're doing?!" Billy roars, eyes bugging slightly when he recognises Steve.

"Harrington?!"

Steve grabs him by the collar and screams into his face: "Just fucking drive!"

A loud crash has them both snapping their heads to the side just in time to watch as a hundred Demodogs or more come rushing out from behind the Byers' house, heading straight for them.

Without another word, Billy yanks the car into reverse and accelerates before hitting the breaks. Steve's stomach swoops as their momentum lets the wheels slide over the gravel to land perfectly on the road.

He grabs Billy's arm, yanks on it like it might shake some urgency into him.

"Hargrove, go!"

"Seatbelts! Get the seatbelts" Max yells at the others.

That's what she's worried about? Steve thinks, even as he reaches over his shoulder to strap himself in.

Then Billy puts the car into gear and guns it forward and they go from 0 to 70 mph in ten seconds flat, zooming down old, twisting back roads and Steve honestly can't believe that Hargrove's insane, wannabe NASCAR driving is gonna be what saves their asses tonight.

"What the hell are you doing all the way out here with my sister, huh?" Billy yells, taking his eyes off the road to look over at him and Steve might seriously have a fucking heart attack.

"Eyes on the road!" He exclaims, foot searching the footwell for a break pedal that isn't there, "For real, man? You want to do this now?!"

"Or you can get out and fucking walk, amigo," Billy snarls, swerving around another Demodog leaping for the hood of his car, "What the hell is up with these dogs?"

"Billy, stop it! Can you jus-- look out!" Max shrieks, her arm shooting between them to point straight ahead and the kids all begin yelling as the flower-in-bloom-faced ugly fuck grows larger in the windscreen at an alarming speed.

Smooth as butter, Billy avoids the gaping creature in their path, not taking his foot off the accelerator for even a second. Steve's heart beats a drum solo against his adam's apple. His fingers feel fused to the edges of the seat, holding on for dear life.

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck was that?" Billy turns to look behind him and Steve clenches his teeth so hard his jaw hurts, barely restraining himself from yanking Billy around to face forward again.

"Hargrove, I swear to God--"

"Oh god, look."

Steve turns his head the slightest amount to see Lucas pointing out of the window at the treeline to their right.

Demodogs.

Lots of them.

So many slimy, greyish bodies that the forest floor has all but disappeared and transformed into a churning sea of dark, slick oil.

More worryingly, they're all running in the same direction as the Camaro.

Fuck.

"What the…" Billy falters when he looks out of the window at the treeline, then seems to shake it off, placing his undivided attention back on the road for once.

He speeds up to pass a whole group of the beasts trying to cross to the other side, narrowly misses being cut off entirely by the mass of Demodog bodies. Steve releases a hand from the seat only to clutch at the grab handle on the door. He closes his eyes, swears he can feel his stomach fall out of his ass when the wheels on his side of the car lift into the air for half a beat.

"Shit, we're gonna die!" Dustin wails, voice wobbly as Billy jerks the wheel again to avoid a creature charging straight for them. If the kids weren't already packed in like sardines they'd be sliding around back there, seatbelt or no. "We're definitely gonna die! This psycho is gonna kill us before the monsters do!"

Billy scowls into the rear-view mirror and grits out "Hey kid, you're welcome to get out and walk."

"You literally tried to run us off the road a week ago--"

"Not the time, Dustin!" Max snaps and shushes him.

"We need to get to the gate!" Mike blurts out, leaning forward to speak directly at Steve. Demanding. "We need to help El!"

Steve doesn't even have the faintest idea of how to begin doing any of that.

"Dude, we can't just go back there, are you crazy--" Lucas pulls him back and they continue to argue in harsh whispers.

"If you losers don't shut the fuck up, I'll crash this goddamn car just so I can take you all with me." Billy barks, knuckles white on the wheel.

"Oh my god, see! What did I tell you?" Dustin exclaims, "He's dangerous, Steve!"

Yeah, well, he's all that we've got, Steve doesn’t say. "Shut up, Dustin."

They turn into the first proper residential street and Billy misses a tree by an inch as he tries to avoid colliding with five demodogs hunched over something on the road.

Oh god, was that a body?

"Harrington, where the fuck am I going?"

Steve closes his eyes, overwhelmed and completely out of his depth. They might have been the B team, but there hadn't actually been a plan B--

"Fuck, fuck! I don't know--"

"Billy," Max pleads, voice shaky with terror, silencing them all, "My mom…"

Billy sighs explosively before turning down a side street, barely slowing down.

"Shit."

*****

It's not just Max's mom, but Dustin's mom, too. Lucas's family. Mike's family.

They reach Old Cherry Road first and Billy barely allows the car to come to a full stop, Demodogs further down the street are taking notice of them already, stalking forward, mouths blooming excitedly. Steve eyes them warily until a garbled oh fuck from the back seat draws his attention to the other side of the street and--

It's bad.

The porch light sets the stage for a grizzly scene at the Hargrove residence. A woman lies directly beneath it, like the opening shot to a fucked up play, her head of red hair spilling over the top step.

She's very obviously dead. Steve can see where she must have tripped on the welcome rug -- awkwardly stiff and upturned between her feet -- and he can only hope she got knocked out in the fall and didn't feel a thing that came after. There isn't much left between her head and her knees except for a dark patch of gøre.

The headless body of a man lies slumped against a truck parked in the driveway, one arm stuck through the open car door, half torn off within his jacket. Blood still running down the concrete incline, pooling in the roadside gutter.

"Oh, you Bastard," Billy spits, barely a whisper.

The longer Steve stares, the more horrifying the scene becomes.

He doesn't want Max to see this. Or Billy.

Max doesn't make a sound.

Billy slams his fist against the steering wheel a couple of times, then peels away from the curb before the Demodogs can get too close.

*****

Dustin's house is dark. There's no car in the driveway.

"I told her Mews had been seen in Loch Nora. She must still be out looking..." Dustin trails off quietly. Shellshocked.

It's almost midnight. Steve doubts she's still out looking for a cat. And if she is...

"I wanted to keep her out of the way."

No one says anything.

They drive.

*****

The Sinclair house is dark, too, no lights on except for the motion sensor activated ones over the empty carport.

Billy doesn't bother slowing down. The area is absolutely swarming with creatures already.

"It's so late. Where..." Lucas falters, scanning the houses they pass, like he made a mistake and his home will appear any minute now. "Where did they go?"

"I'm sure they're okay, man," Steve tries, but it feels flat, false, "If they're in a car they could make it out. Your mom too, Dustin."

Billy grimaces, but says nothing.

"What?" Steve demands.

"I was just here looking for Max. They were home."

He keeps a laser focus on the road now, on avoiding the monsters spilling out onto their path, growling when he's forced to change down a gear before aggressively working his way up in speed once more, jaw clenched tight.

"You probably caught them on their way out." Steve insists.

Billy looks doubtful, but he nods anyway. Neither of them enough of an asshole to take a kid's hopes away like that.

They move on.

*****

"Let me out," Mike says, quietly. Trembling. Hands pushing against the back of Steve's seat like he'll be able to bend it out of the way through sheer force of will.

No one moves.

The front door to the Wheeler home is open, door splintered where the deadbolt held, but the wood didn't. The car is parked in the carport. All the lights are on.

Karen Wheeler's corpse lies forgotten and half devoured on the front lawn.

In the driveway, a tiny yellow sock lies next to bloody drag marks disappearing into the grass--

Oh god...

"Let me out."

Steve's lips move, but he can't seem to draw breath enough to produce sound..

Billy seems to shake himself out of a daze, takes a deep breath beside him. "Nah, kid."

And Mike just snaps.

"Fuck you! Fuck you!" He screams, punching and kicking the seat in front of him.

Steve leans forward out of the seat and puts his head in his hands.

"Let me out! LET ME OUT!" Mike shrieks, begs.

"No." Billy says again, evenly.

Mike's voice breaks on a wordless scream.

Steve wants to do his own bit of kicking and screaming, but someone needs to keep their fucking head in the game or they're all going to end up dead.

By some twisted turn of fate that someone is turning out to be Billy fucking Hargrove.

Hysterically, he remembers hearing about Billy abandoning Carla Green to walk home alone from the quarry after she'd scratched the Camaro's dashboard with her fake nails by accident.

Mike kicks the back of the seat again. Billy says nothing.

All the kids are crying, now.

Mike's screams eventually taper off into babbling sobs and Dustin does his best to comfort him through his own half-choked cries. Lucas is whispering to a sobbing Max, his own breaths hitching and heaving uncontrollably, on the edge of breaking.

Steve's eyes sting, hidden behind his hands.

He lifts his head up and glances over at Billy, still tracking the side of the road, the edge of the trees. He looks so normal that it almost throws Steve for a loop. He wants to grab Billy by the collar again. Shake him. Scream: what part of this aren't you getting?

"The fuck is going on?" Billy hisses, almost to himself and oh, right.

"Later," Steve promises, hoarsely, digs the heels of his hands into his eyes hard enough to see stars.

"You know what they are?"

"Yeah." Steve says after a great deal of swallowing past the lump in his throat.

If Hargrove's voice betrays even a hint of emotion Steve knows he's gonna fucking lose it. Luckily, the guy keeps his shit together so Steve can keep a lid on his.

"You know what kills them?" Billy continues.

"Heat," Dustin says, voice thick, "And, like, bullets."

Billy nods, "Alright, how warm are we talking?"

"They don't like warm weather or daylight, but I don't think it kills them. Weakens them, maybe. Sends them underground."

"Fire will." Steve says, pulling at his hair until it hurts, dragging himself out of foggy despair and into the present where he's needed. He accidentally runs his gaze past Karen's body and tries not to dry-heave.

Mike is still crying behind him and god fuck, they should get out of here. The kid shouldn't be seeing this.

"Where do we go?" Max whispers, like she read his mind. She sounds as lost as Steve feels.

Billy revs the engine and turns to Steve, "Any requests?"

Steve thinks about the huge empty house waiting for him, a gaping nightmare at the edge of the woods. He balks at the thought.

Where the fuck do we go?

"Just get us out of Hawkins."

#anon ask #tag game #my precious #gravegroves writes #harringrove

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latetaektalk · 3 years

Note

hi there ^^' i'm... kinda new to this whole tumblr thing and have been wanting to write on here for a while but this huge place is kinda scary sometimes haha ;; do you have any writing tips or tricks that would be good to know for newcomers? (also your music taste is immaculate, i love it)

hey love 💕 first of all, welcome to tumblr!! its a fun place,, youre gonna love it, and learn to hate it lol second of all, thank you for complimenting my music taste 😳

now im not quite sure if you want only writing tips or writing blog tips, so ive included tips and tricks for both!

WRITING BLOG TIPS :

have a masterlist. this might seem stupid and obvious, but ive seen people with no masterlist. people are lazy, so if they cant access your writing easily, they will just click away.

have a clean theme. aesthetics are important. they are. people love clean and easy to navigate themes. again, people are lazy, so if you make it easy to click through your blog and get to your writing, youll increase the chance of people reading your stuff!

how to get your work show up in general. putting links in your fanfic might lead to your story not showing up in the search. ive also heard that a banner thats too big can cause that. even using too many tags can lead to your work not showing up. its complicated.

the first five tags. im sure youve heard abt this already but the first five tags are the tags that will actually show up! so if someone follows #bts fluff and you tag your fic with that, your fic can show up on people's dashes as a recommended post!

tag accordingly. speaking of tags, please tag accordingly! theres nothing more annoying than finding a jimin fanfic in the taehyung fanfic tag. i really discourage you from mistagging your stories. if im scrolling through the taehyung fanfic tag and find a jimin fanfic, it makes me want to not read it. just tag your fics accordingly.

reblog your fics. i mean it. seriously, reblog them as much as you want! people live in different time zones or sometimes forget abt wanting to read your stuff, so reblogging it consistently for a week or so to get it on people's dashes helps!

teasers and taglists. i recommend doing both! teasers help to get people excited for your story and taglists ensure that people will read it, or at least remember to!

dont stress abt notes. now, this is less of a tip but rather something i just really really really want to tell you! i know youve heard this before, but please do not stress about notes. tumblr fame does not exists! it doesnt matter if your writing gets 2 notes or 300 or 5k notes! i do understand how getting a lot of notes can be motivating (every fics deserve all the love in the world by the way!!) but in the end, it should not be your motiviation to write. focusing on notes will ruin writing for you. it will. the amount of notes your fic will reach has nothing to do with how good your writing is. dont let something as superficial as notes ruin the fun of writing for you. its seriously not worth it! write for you and no one else!

WRITING TIPS :

write self indulgent fics. i seriously think all fics should be self indulgent. writing fics should be fun, so please write whatever you want! also, theres no such thing as an overdone trope. if you want to write a fake dating enemies to lovers fic, please write it! you might think there are already a bunch out there and its not worth writing another one, but youre wrong! there isnt one out there thats been written by you yet. go write it!

make playlists. now this is a bit specific to me because im absolutely obsessed with music, but making playlists that fit the mood of the fic has always helped me while writing and gotten me out of writers block before!

take your time. writing is freaking hard and when writers block hits, theres rarely ever something that you can do. try not to stress too much abt it! it happens to the best of us!

balance dialogue and detail. its important to find a middle. if im reading a fic and theres paragraph after paragraph after paragraph of detail, the chance of me just skipping that part is really high. because even though i love detail, it does get boring. so use dialogue to spice it up!

reading. okay, this sounds weird because youre asking for writing tips, but reading seriously help your writing so much! if you wanna improve your writing skills, reading a lot is going to be key. now, im not saying reading is necessary, but i do think that it can help you to better! whats even more important though is that you try to analyse people’s writing while reading. when i say you should analyse people’s writing, i do not mean you should write an entire analysis of a book, but to take a second and think to yourself how the authors just did that. how did they convey oc’s sadness? why did they just describe the weather? whats the purpose of this scene?

switch up sentence/paragraph length. shorter sentences/paragraphs = emphasise something and pick up the pace. longer sentences/paragraphs = slow down the story and allow for more detail. its important that you do a mix of both. utilise the length to your advantage. a well placed short sentence/paragraph can pack a lot of punch and turn your sad story in a heartbreaking one.

outline your fics. look this is very personal again because some people dont like to outline their fics, but i recommend outlining your fics. and when i say outline your fics, you can do it as little or as much as you want! it can be a few notes, or a long list of every detail you want to include. i just want you to know where this story is headed. its so easy to write yourself in a corner and trust me, you dont wanna end up there.

allow yourself to be free. this connects to the previous point i just made. even though i do recommend outlining your fics, i am also a firm believer of taking the story somewhere else if you feel like it. ive scrapped complete outlines before. half of the scenes i write also arent in my outline at all. you dont have to stick to the outline. if you think that a specific scene would add something to your story, then please go ahead and write that scene. just always remember where youre headed and dont loose focus.

have fun. i just really wanna reiterate this point again. its just so important to me that you have fun while writing! seriously. its just fanfiction. it should be fun. go crazy. i support you!

okay bub i hope this was helpful 💕 if you have any other questions/want more tips/want me to elaborate on something, please just hit me up! my ask box is always open!

#writing tips #jimintopia #linh.ask

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myaekingheart · 3 years

Text

20 [Fanfic Writer] Questions Game

Thank you so much for tagging me, @lemony-snickers! This is tons of fun, I love answering these kinds of big questionnaires 😂💕 Also putting mine under a cut because there’s a lot of questions and I like to ramble.

Also gonna go ahead and just tag whoever wants to do this! 😅💕

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

As of August 27, 2021, I have a total of 77 works on my AO3!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Funny enough, I was just looking at this, specifically, earlier today and kind of laughing about it. Right now, my total word count across all my works is 1,148,941 😬

3. How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Apparently 12, but some of them I don’t really consider “big” in my fandom repertoire. Naruto is my greatest fandom with a total of 60 fics so far, followed by The Chronicles of Narnia and Rise of the Guardians. The rest are ones I either did crossover fics with or just did one-off little pieces with--The Incredibles, Tangled, Brave, How to Train Your Dragon, Arthurian Mythology, Disney Princesses, Fairy Tales and Related Fandoms, Back to the Future, and Frozen.

4. What are your Top Five fics by kudos?

The Scarecrow and The Bell (Naruto) - 470 kudos The Day Kakashi’s Mask Slipped (Naruto) - 139 kudos Sunflowers (Naruto) - 92 kudos Sakumo the House Husband (Naruto) - 81 kudos Someone to Lean On (Naruto) - 67 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to respond to comments, because I like to acknowledge when people respond to my work. I cherish comments like nobody’s business, especially when they’re kind and reactionary. I just really love seeing/hearing what people think of the way a story is progressing, or what they thought of a one-shot. Comments keep me going especially when it comes to longfic so I want to be able to let readers know that I do in fact see their comments, that I’m acknowledging what they’re saying, and that I appreciate them. Plus, it can be kind of fun to tease upcoming events in a fic through responses to people’s comments, too. Because I’m mean.

6. What fic have you written with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Hothouse (Rise of the Guardians/The Incredibles; Jack Frost x Violet Parr; American Horror Story AU). This was the first multi-chaptered fic I ever wrote to completion and I honestly cringe when I remember it exists both because it’s so poorly organized (and full of nasty plot holes) and because I just went ham on the gore factor. It definitely has a really bittersweet and heartbreaking ending to it, too.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think I’ll definitely have to say Temptation. The story itself was kind of a ride, and it’s only the first installment in a series, but it follows the plot of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe but remixed due to the presence of an original character, but the ending is still roughly the same as the original: they defeat the evil, the Pevensies are all crowned kings and queens, happy days. Reading the last few paragraphs of the last chapter honestly still gets me all up in my feelings.

8. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I used to be more of a crossover writer due to one of my main ships being a crossover ship. They weren’t super crazy, though, because they were both CGI-animated films. The craziest crossover I’ve ever written is an in-progress/unfinished multichapter piece, Kakashi, Enchanted, that sees our favorite Copy Ninja get kamui’d into the Disney princess dimension and has to help the likes of Snow White, Cinderella, and Rapunzel on his journey to find a way back to his own world. It’s a super weird premise but definitely one of my more lighthearted works and fun to revisit when I need to decompress.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t think I’ve ever received hate so much as I’ve received criticism. The closest I ever got to hate on a fic, I think, was someone left an overly personal and mentally disturbed comment on a chapter of my main fic that made me convinced they needed to seek therapy and deal with their own personal issues rather than take it out on a fanfic about animated ninjas.

10. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Maybe 👀 I’m super vanilla when it comes to smut, though. I think the wildest thing I’ve ever written in smut is breeding kink.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, and I hope I never will.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet! I had someone ask to translate a one-shot of mine in Russian but I never got a response back when I laid out my terms and conditions.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not! I used to do paragraph-style roleplay which was kind of like cowriting fanfiction but writing is so personal and sacred to me that I don’t know if I could ever actually cowrite a fic with someone. I like brainstorming with other people, but writing for me is more of a deeply personal and independent endeavour.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Oh god, this is a tricky question because it depends on fandom. I absolutely love New Dream (Rapunzel x Eugene, Tangled) and have for the past ten years, and my love for them as only grown since watching Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure. I don’t write or even really read a ton of fanfiction for them, though. I’m also still highly dedicated to my favorite crossover crackship, Frostfield (Jack Frost x Violet Parr, Rise of the Guardians/The Incredibles) and to this day, if you search for that ship on AO3, I am the sole provider of every single fic about them so far. I’m not as active with them as I used to be, but they got me through some really rough times back in the day and still mean so much to me. A lot of my favorite ships across fandoms, though, are honestly canon x OC ships of mine because I am a self-indulgent bitch who needs to project. So Peter Pevensie x Eilonwy (The Chronicles of Narnia) and Kakashi Hatake x Rei Natsuki (Naruto) are really important to me and I’ve poured so much of myself specifically into their stories. I think it’s safe to say Kakashi and Rei is my all-time favorite ship across all fandoms, though, just because of how much their story means to me. The Scarecrow and The Bell is my magnum opus, my pride and joy, and I’m sure it will be my biggest fandom footprint of my entire life. I’ve dedicated the past three years to this story and these characters and I intend to continue doing it until it no longer brings me joy (which I hope it always will). There’s just so much I could say about this story and Kakashi and Rei’s relationship but I don’t think we have enough time or space in this post for that 😅 Just know that they mean the world to me and I will always hold them in the highest regard as a beautifully messy, flawed, passionate, soulmate-y ship that I love with all of my heart 🥺

EDIT: I also feel obligated to tack on some of my absolute favorite Naruto ships because I may not have written for all of them (yet) but they still make me unbelievably happy or I find them really compelling and enjoy the idea of exploring them:

Naruhina is precious happy sunshine and The Last honestly felt like a wonderful Disney princess movie to me, it was so cute and the romance was so on-point, Naruhina just makes me so incredibly happy and I love them with all my heart.

MinaKushi also gets me all up in my feels and I adore them with every fiber of my being. Their romance also gave me Disney princess movie vibes which I love, their story is just so damn sweet as is their character dynamic and I am still so heartbroken that they never got to be a happy family with Naruto because you know what? It’s what they deserved!

SasuSaku is so compelling to me and I really feel like we were cheated out of seeing their relationship develop and evolve postwar in the same way The Last did for Naruhina. They’re my favorite angst ship and while I don’t think they were written that well in canon, I love the possibility and potential of them together and am excited to explore them more in-depth in my own writing.

NejiTen is just too cute, I really love the way Neji and Tenten’s personalities compliment each other? I don’t have much else to say about them except that I really love them together and think they have so much untapped potential that I also can’t wait to explore in more depth in my own writing.

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Paper Hearts and Impromptu Bookmarks, probably. I love the premise of this story a lot and I have so many interesting ideas for it but at the same time, it also feels kind of cheap and cringey to me, in a way? It takes all of these ideas I probably would have had if I had been into Naruto when I was a kid and kind of compiles them all into one big story. Kakashi and Aiko’s relationship and story is still really important to me and I want to continue it someday but for right now, I just haven’t had the motivation or desire to write any more of it. I think I’m just so overwhelmingly preoccupied with writing Kakashi and Rei’s story that I can’t imagine writing any other Kakashi x OC fics right now.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I want to say that I’m really good at capturing complex emotion? I don’t know, I write a lot of angst and mental upheaval in my fics which can be really difficult to try and capture, but I think I do a decent enough job of it? And just writing difficult subjects in general. I think it’s really important to address difficult topics such as mental illness and relationship difficulties and everything but I also want to try and write those topics in a way that is both authentic to the experience while also still tasteful. I don’t want to drive readers away with heavy subject matter but rather present a situation that feels real and authentic while also still being digestible. I may not be doing a very good job of that during the current arc of my fic that I’m working on, but I’m trying haha

EDIT 2: I also want to add onto this to say that I’m really proud of my organizational techniques for writing longfic. It’s not necessarily a strength in terms of the prose itself but it’s something that’s taken me years to really get a grasp on and find a method that works perfectly for me and so far, it’s been extremely helpful and beneficial to me. I don’t know where I would be now as a writer without these essential tools in my pocket.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel like I do a really bad job of the “show, don’t tell” thing. It can be really hard to balance descriptive prose with straightforward writing that moves things along. I don’t want to dwell on mental dialogue to the point where you lose track of what’s going on, but I also don’t want my stuff to read like “Character A did xyz. Character B said abc. They went to 123″, whatever. Another thing I struggle with is sentence variation. I always fall into the same patterns when I’m writing prose and I get really self-conscious about it because I don’t want to sound repetitive or disrupt the flow of the writing. One of my favorite things about prose is focusing on the cadence of the words, I think it’s one of the most beautiful things about writing in general, but it can just be really difficult to get a good grip on that. I’ve been told in the past that I apparently have a really good grasp/control of the language or whatever but sometimes I just find that really hard to believe when I look at my work with such scrutiny. I think one of my biggest pet peeves with my own writing, too, is feeling like I start all of my sentences the same five different ways. I’ll read other people’s works and they’ll write sentences like “Glass-blue water lapped against the shores of a deserted beach as a lonely woman gazed off into the distance” and I can just never figure out how to realistically write sentences that start like that in the context of my prose and it drives me fucking crazy, like I’m definitely jealous 😅

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never really thought much about it before, but I think there are pros and cons! For bilingual/multilingual readers, I think it can be a really enriching reading experience because they know what’s being said in both languages. For people who only know one language, however, unless a translation is provided, I feel like it can be really alienating. I think the best use of that for both worlds is using it as a means for miscommunication humor. Other than that, I think it can be a slippery slope that depends on what kind of reader you are and how it’s written.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Chronicles of Narnia! My very first fanfiction was a Narnia fanfic that I barely remember except that it laid the basis for Temptation and my Narnia fanfic series as a whole. I never posted this first iteration anyway, but I remember it was 2008/2009 and I wrote a solid 80 pages (which was wild for me at the time) and had gotten halfway through remixing the events of Prince Caspian when my computer crashed and I lost absolutely everything. I’m still heartbroken that it’s gone forever, not because I’d want to go back and read it necessarily (since I’m sure it was actually hot garbage) but at least for nostalgia’s sake. Either way, like I said, this long-lost fic laid the basis for the very first fanfiction I ever posted, the first published (and never finished) iteration of Temptation back in 2011 on deviantART and the since-defunct Figment. I fell out of the fandom around 2012/2013 and left the story alone for a while before ultimately deciding to completely redux and rewrite the story when the fixation swung back around again between 2016 and 2018.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Despite the fact that it’s still in-progress, definitely The Scarecrow and The Bell. This fic just genuinely means so damn much to me and I will cherish it for the rest of my life because of how much it’s given me, how much love and passion and time and even parts of myself that I have poured into this, and also just how expansive of a story this is. Not only does it touch on some very dark and heavy topics, but I’ve also created so much of my own characters and meta for this story that it’s almost an entire universe in and of itself. I’ve just contributed so much additional world-building and created so many new OCs to fill important roles in this story and in Rei’s life, and they’ve all become so deeply important to me as they’ve developed further over the years. I’ve come up with so many interesting ideas for everyone and their lives, which are all slowly becoming so rich and varied. Not to mention that it’s my most popular fic to date as well as my longest fic at 632k and counting. I’ve really just genuinely poured so much of my heart and soul into this story, it’s my absolute favorite thing I’ve ever done and I really mean it when I say that I will cherish it for the rest of my life.

#tag games #ramblings

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falloutglow · 3 years

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Writer Tag

Tagged by @glitchvault74 & @valkyriejack thanks yo!

Tagging: @roachvalentine, @its-sixxers, @memailikesnukacola, @bigwinged, @deacons-wig, @saintdeanthomas AND ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS!!! If you see this I TAG THEE

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just recently 74 total!

For just Fallout its 26

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Total: 163,825

For Fallout: about 55k

...I wrote so goddamn much for Pnat years ago its unreal XD

3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

I’m ignoring the overall fics and just going by Fallout only HAHA

1- Wrong (Its Hancock/Nick Valentine so I’m not surprised)

2- Waking Up (for whumptober 2020; Deacon/Nick Valentine)

3- Sensors and Sensations (Mysterious Stranger/Nick Valentine....are yall seeing a pattern here?)

4- Take Me Out With the Crowds (Nick Valentine & Echo (oc) ;w; hell yea 1st fic where they interact haha!!)

5- On Top of Sanctuary Hills and Far Away (my chapter fic that introduces my psyker gal Echo!)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Sometimes, so long as I can remember! If I’m on mobile...usually harder to respond haha but if I’m on my computer its much easier. I’ll do it mostly cause I wanna let the commenter know I appreciate the kind words and having them take the time out of their day to tell me how they feel about my fics! Plus, its a way to build a bit of a community on ao3

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

In my personal opinion....either Lee’s Library (Walking Dead Telltale video game) oooor one of the many bad endings in Counterbalance (Paranatural) because ya gurl wrote a Choose Your Own Adventure fic and boy howdy. it depends on which end you get XD

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Hmmmm, honestly not sure? Hella subjective honestly.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

*SIIIIIGH* I used to. I’m not as obsessed with crossovers like I was as a kid. Technically, the craziest one I wrote when I was like 12 (damn preteen me had such a drive) was some wild and hella ambitious Camp au of sorts with a bunch of cartoon shows mixed with some ocs. There were...soooooo many characters to keep track of, easily like 30. Possibly more, maybe less.

I never published it cause it was for me to be super self indulgent and back then I also had to share a computer/laptop with my sisters and mom. I did not have access to flashdrive/usb yet, but damn did I fill like a notebook and half up with that goddamn wild au.

I wonder if its in one of the totes in the basement....hmmmm....

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. It was a long time ago and I don’t remember it nor do I care to remember that shit. Anyone who leaves hate on fics? Keep it to your damn self. Don’t hate read. That’s such a childish thing to do and you don’t like it? Why waste time on something you hate? It makes 0 sense! Go find something self indulgent and learn how to be nice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I...have... No I will not elaborate...

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No idea.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Bold of you to think I’m that popular lol

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

...Yes? I think so???? But it was a long while ago. I’m mostly a solo act lol

13. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

PTH I’m a multishipper I cannot!!! Okay fine Nick Valentine x HAPPINESS LET HIM BE HAPPY I say while putting him through shit HAHA

(u_u I like to also ship him with my psyker oc Echo... why write fic if yaint being self indulgent?)

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

That’s like all my WIPs tbh. The fact that I finish a wip is a goddamn miracle.

Though I’d LOVE to do my fallout haunted house fic with the END squad I’ve called “Follow You Down”. However, dunno if or when I’ll ever actually make it more than some massive chapter fic idea involving haunted mannequins, literature references, ghosts, and eldritch horrors.

15. What are your writing strengths?

My brain is a goddamn corkboard. I can slap down ideas like crazy and somehow create an elaborate way to make it work.

16. What are you writing weaknesses?

... *leans against a closet door that won’t close* Haha funny thing. You know how I just said I have a fuck ton of ideas? >_>;

I’m also a slow writer, but mostly cause I think my words through.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Nah. I don’t think I’m qualified. Now if its a bilingual joke? I’m aaaaall over that shit haha My personal fav: “Why do French people prefer to have small breakfasts? Because one egg is un oeuf!”

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Danny Phantom. It is also the first fandom I looked up fics for LOL

19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

OOF that’s a hard one... It’d have to be between On Top of Sanctuary Hills and Far Away (fo4) aaaand my most recently posted fic The Crooked Tooth (fo4)

The former cause istg it felt like I unlocked something while writing that fic. Pre-Sanctuary Hills fic I STRUGGLED at getting a higher word count. 1-2k was my maximum. 3k was an achievement! Both of these fics I’ve hit over 5k for!!! I’m still flabbergasted by this development! And... the latter is sooooo self indulgent hahahaha got that cute cute comfort, mutual pining (while both being idiots about it), while also slapping in that good good spooky shit >:3c

#as told by glow #tag meme #long post #read my shit pls thanks <3

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illumynare · 4 years

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How the Enneagram explains all of Ford and Stan’s problems

….well, most of them, anyway.

So in my ongoing quest to learn all personality typing systems ever, I’ve recently started reading about the Enneagram, and it struck me that Ford and Stan both fit extremely neatly into the system, and it provides a great framework for analyzing why these two idiots can love each other so much and yet continually hurt/trigger/drive each other crazy.

(descriptions taken from the Enneagram Institute website, not linked because apparently that means this post won’t show up in the tags??)

Stan: Type 2, “The Helper”

The Caring, Interpersonal Type: Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive

Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.

Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved Basic Desire: To feel loved

This is Stan in a nutshell: somebody who loves deeply and unconditionally, sacrifices himself without a second thought, but also easily becomes possessive, and whose “helper” actions are often in some way an attempt to earn people’s love. He rescues Waddles from the pterodactyl so that Mabel will stop being mad at him, and he rescues Ford from the portal hoping that will restore the relationship they had as children. It’s not that Stan doesn’t genuinely care about Mabel or Ford’s suffering, it’s just that, on some level, he’s always trying to earn the love of the people he cares about.

Ford: Type 4, “The Individualist”

The Sensitive, Introspective Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental

Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)

Feeling vulnerable and defective, yet disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living: if you looked up “Stanford Filbrick Pines” in the dictionary, that’s the first thing you’d see. People have argued a lot about whether Ford is arrogant and how much, but I don’t think that’s actually the most helpful way to analyze his character. Ford has, at different times, considered himself a genius, a fool, a hero, a puppet; but what never changes is that he’s obsessed with the question of his own identity, and driven by the fear he’s either a freak or a non-entity. Even at the end of Journal 3, when he finally starts to chillax, he doesn’t abandon the question of his identity and say, “Who cares if I’m a hero or not.” Instead he chooses a new identity: “I’m a hero’s brother, and I’m okay with that.”

So how does this explain their problems?

Because, as much as these two dumb idiots love each other, they have primal fears that are often at cross-purposes, and that make them hypersensitive to each other’s worst tendencies. Stan fears being unloved and alone, and at his most desperate he is willing to do anything—including literally immolate his identity—to keep his loved ones around him, or bring them back. Ford fears having no separate identity or personal significance, and at his most desperate he is willing to do anything—including cut his twin out of his life, and summon unknown spirits of insane power—to grasp that identity.

This is why I think that, even if the whole science fair debacle had never happened, they would have still had some kind of major rift. They both grew up bullied by other children, emotionally abused by their father, and without any kind of support network or healthy relationship models; I don’t think either of them had the resources, at that point, to deal with their issues in a healthy way. Stan would have tried to cling to Ford no matter what, without realizing Ford experienced it as suffocation; Ford would have tried to strike out on his own no matter what, without realizing that Stan experienced it as complete rejection.

And this dynamic is also what drives their conflict after Ford comes back through the portal. I’m thinking, particularly, of their scene at the end of “Tale of Two Stans”:

Ford: Okay, Stanley, here’s the deal. You can stay here the rest of the summer to watch the kids. I’ll stay down in the basement and try to contain any remaining damage. But when the summer’s over, you give me my house back, you give me my name back, and this Mystery Shack junk is over forever. You got it?

Stan: You really aren’t gonna thank me, are you? Fine. On one condition: you stay away from the kids; I don’t want them in danger. Cause as far as I’m concerned, they’re the only family I have left.

A lot of people have interpreted this scene as Ford planning to kick Stan out of his life and onto the streets (and written angsty fanfics accordingly). This may indeed be how Stan saw it, but I don’t think that’s a fully accurate perception. A moment before this, they’re laughing about being old men. Ford’s voice in delivering his ultimatum doesn’t read as angry or cold so much as somebody trying to put his foot down.

I think the key to Ford’s speech is the implicit link between “you can stay here the rest of the summer” and “I’ll stay down in the basement.” Ford is primarily thinking about the issue of his stolen identity: there can only be one Stanford Pines, so while he’s willing hide himself away and let Stan keep playing the role for the rest of the summer, he wants to be Stanford Pines again. He wants his own identity, and to have a say in what goes on in his house. Which is completely reasonable!

But of course, Stan is approaching this conversation from a completely different direction. He’s spent thirty years trying to save Ford, not just because of his own guilt but also because he wants their relationship back: think of how he throws his arms wide and shouts “Brother!” when Ford steps through the portal. From Stan’s point of view, Ford is saying that everything Stan suffered and accomplished is still not enough to earn his love. Which is why Stan lashes out, having finally reached the limits of his willingness to martyr himself. Objectively, it’s kind of terrible to disown your brother for not saying “thank you,” but in context it completely makes sense for Stan to react this way. (And honestly, it’s really good that he has managed to discover ONE boundary, even if he’s being petty about it.)

….but of course, Ford still doesn’t understand what’s going on in his brother’s head, so he interprets Stan’s anger as something along the lines of “how dare you want to make decisions, you should just live in my basement for the rest your life to make me happy.” Which in turn drives his hostility and posturing in later episodes (like the DD&MD game—yes, Ford was swept away by enthusiasm, but I think he was also very much trying to mark his territory when he covered the TV room in graphs.) And that just escalates Stan’s hurt and anger, creating his determination Not To Care even when the world is ending and Ford is a prisoner, and culminating in the Zodiac Fight which is hands-down the pettiest thing either of them has ever done.

What saves them is Dipper and Mabel, who remind them it’s possible for two radically different siblings to work together—and who give them something to care about outside their own tumultuous dyad. Threatened by the loss of Dipper and Mabel, they find they can still trust and understand each other well enough to pull off a desperate, last-minute con. In one way, their final gambit seems to echo their earlier patterns: Stan burns up his identity to save his family, Ford grimly makes a choice that will cut him off from his brother. But there’s an important difference: Stan doesn’t expect to get anything back from this, not admiration from the kids or love from his brother, because he doesn’t expect to be himself after. He burns the dream of the Stan-o-War along with all the rest of his memories. Ford, on the other hand, gives up all claim to being the hero, The Man Who Killed Bill Cipher; more than that, he trusts Stan to carry out that role for him.

And that’s how, after everything, they’re able to reconcile and be at peace with each other.

#stanford pines #stanley pines #gravity falls #stan pines #ford pines #enneagram #reposting to see if i can get this in the tags

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godofplumsandthunder · 4 years

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In Sickness and In Health - Chapter 1

Pairings: Bucky x Dot; Bucky x Reader

Summary: When Bucky gets diagnosed with a life threatening disease, his whole life gets turned upside down. Will Bucky be able to salvage his personal life while fighting for his life?

A/N: This is a very self indulgent fic. Both Bucky and reader will have cancer. I’m a cancer patient so this is like my way of therapy. There will be cancer talk and experiecnes throughout the whole series. If this is triggering please don’t read. Take care of your mental health. I’m putting trigger warnings in every chapter. If there is something that is triggering for you that I didn’t tag, please send me an ask or a message so I can fix it and know for the future.

Warnings: Doctor offices, Cancer Diagnosis, Some Body/Fat Shaming

Bucky loved Dot. He really did. They were high school sweethearts, and despite what everyone said, their relationship grew stronger. In Bucky's mind, nothing would destroy that. In his mind, they were end game. Who would have guessed that a lump, a barely noticeable lump, could cause his world to come crashing down.

Bucky's been hurting for a few weeks now. It started after an especially strenuous work out routine. Naturally, Bucky thought that it was just a sprain or something. But, it's been about a month and his arms not getting better. If anything it's getting worse with it swelling in size. Bucky's also put on a substantial amount of weight in that last month, losing the cut figure he had. He didn't mind the added weight, Dot sure didn't mind it, but it meant that somethings not right.

So when Bucky woke up the next morning, finding his arm more swollen than ever, and extremely purple, his mind explodes into pandaemonium.

"DOT!" Bucky yells for his girlfriend as he makes his way to the bathroom to get a better look at his arm.

"What Bucky? What's so important to come and interrupt me? I was doin my hair, ya know?" Dot comes into Bucky's bathroom because she had to have her own, with her over-inflated hair and her cheap skanky smelling perfume.

"Look!" Is all that Bucky was able to stutter out while gesturing to his arm.

"Oh my God, Bucky, we need to get you to the emergency room now!" Dot screams as she grabs Bucky's hand and drags him to the car. The car ride is silent, except for the quite sniffles of Bucky.

Dot thought that with how Bucky's arm is, he'd been seen right away. Yet, the couple has been waiting over 2 hours to see a damn doctor! And Dot's fuse has run out, and she is bout ready to explode.

Storming over the receptionist's desk, Dot pounces. "Look, Karen, my boyfriend has been sitting here for over 2 hours and we still haven't seen a doctor. Now he better see a doctor soon, or I will have to speak to your manager!" Bucky feels mortified for the poor receptionist. He tried to tell Dot not to make a scene, but she wouldn't listen. Of course, they wouldn't see him right away, because he isn't in a grave condition. Bucky gets that, and he is more than willing to wait. The receptionist says something to Dot that only makes her angrier, and she storms back over to Bucky.

"I swear Buck, this has got to be the worst hospital ever! There are hospitals in Venezuela that are better!" Bucky can't deal with her right now. When she gets like this.

"Dot, I think you're overexaggerating. Can you do me a favor though? Can you call Steve and let him know I'll be late getting into the precinct? You always seem to be able to get through to him." This makes Dot go quiet. She always acts weird whenever Bucky mentions Steve. But, she goes and makes the call. And thankfully by the time she gets back, Bucky's name is called and the two of them are escorted back to an examination room. The doctor, who's just the run of the mill E.R. doc, comes in fairly quickly and Bucky's diagnosis seems to be a straight forward one. Taking a couple of looks at his arm, the doctor seems to know what's the matter.

"Mr. Barnes, you are clearly suffering from a major infection. I'm going to put you on an antibiotic and things should clear up in a couple of days. Do you have any questions?" the doctor asked.

"No, I don't' think so," Bucky responded, a little relieved that it isn't anything to grave.

Three weeks passed, and Bucky has finally lost it. He's going crazy. The antibiotics healed up the infection, but his arm was still swollen, and it was just getting worse. Bucky decides he needs to go to the doctor's again, but this time without Dot. So, he calls Steve to let him know he'll be late getting into work again. Thank goodness he's a sergeant at the police department, and his childhood best friend is his officer.

This time Bucky is being seen by a new doctor: Doctor Banner. Bucky's first impression of him was not great. It didn't help that Dr. Banner was 45 minutes late. It also didn't help that he insulted Bucky. Instead of looking at his arm or ordering an x-ray or MRI, Dr. Banner comments about Bucky's weight. Banner lays out a diet and exercise plan for Bucky and leaves the room. Not bothering to see if Bucky has any questions or to do any further examinations. Bucky's utterly confused now. Sure, Bucky knows he is a little on the chubby side and doesn't work out as much as he probably should, but for it to be the problem to cause his swelling? He's no doctor, but even this doesn't add up

For the next month, Bucky has followed the doctor's order to the letter. He has been waking up at the crack of dawn to go to the gym. Not only has he cut out salt, but he has also cut out most sugar, gluten, and even dairy. It's clear that he is dedicated to his doctor's plan and wanted his arm to get better. Dot is happy that Bucky's following his doctor's orders, except she doesn't know that they are doctor's orders. So the first time that Bucky decided to go back to the gym, Dot was kind of a bitch.

"It's about time that you get back to the gym. Sitting on your ass all day was making you fat!" Bucky tried to ignore her comment the best he could. He was doing this for his health, not his looks.

This went on for about a month. During that month, Bucky lost about 5 of the 30 lbs that he gained. Yet, despite his weight loss, his arm was still getting worse. And no matter how much he complained to Dot or Steve, no one believed him. They all just told him to take ibuprofen and toughen up. But Bucky knew deep down that something wasn't right. So, he decided to go to the doctors again.

This time, the doctor is quick to arrive. And Bucky's surprised to see that it isn't Banner. Part of him is relieved that the doctor that comes in isn't Dr. Banner. This time it is a younger doctor, who you see his name is Dr. Strange. What an odd name, he thinks. Dr. Strange goes on to poke and prod Bucky's arm, causing Bucky to wince out in pain. Dr. Strange checks Bucky's notes and write somethings down. Sighing, Dr. Strange says "I really can't believe what Dr. Banner advised you to do. While I always say we can get healthier, changing your diet and exercising will not get rid of a lump on your arm! Any first-year medical student would know this. I can definitely feel a lump on the back of your arm." Dr. Strange continues to look and feel Bucky's arm.

"I'm very concerned that it could be a cyst or a blood clot, so I want you to get an ultrasound and x-ray as soon as possible. I'm going to write up the orders, and a nurse will be in here shortly to take you to the imaging center." Dr. Strange gets up shakes your hands and leaves the room.

After a few tears of fear are shed, an x-ray and an ultrasound later, Bucky finds himself back in an exam room waiting for Dr. Strange. Part of him is worried and wonders if he should call Dot or not. But it's probably going to be nothing and he'd just be interrupting her day. She doesn't even know that he's at the doctor's. Shaking from the stress, Dr. Strange knocks on the door and comes in. He pulls up the x-ray and ultrasound on his computer, with a solemn face on.

"I have some good news and some bad news. Before I start, I want you to know that I will never lie to you and I will tell you how it is. With that being said, let me start with the good news. I believe we know what is causing your arm pains..."

"So you can treat it then, right?" Bucky interrupts the doctor. Grasping his thighs with a death grip.

"That's what I'm getting to," Dr. Strange continues. " I would like to schedule a biopsy immediately. Both I and my colleague both agree that you have cancer. We want to know what kind so we can start treatment right away."

#bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #Bucky Barnes #in sickness and in health

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skzsauce01 · 5 years

Text

Magic Words

Description: You resurrect Hyunjin while studying for your exams. There’s no way you’re telling him the first thing you thought of his cold, dead body was that he’s hot.

Warning: dead bodies, criminal activity

Word count: 6.3k

Pairing: Hyunjin x fem!reader, bestfriend!Chan

Special thanks to ad.gold who helped edit and write!

Maybe breaking into the university hospital in the middle of the night isn’t the best idea, you think to yourself. Although is it really breaking in if you have a key?

You scan the area around you for security guards one last time before you reach into hoodie pocket for the set of keys Chan gave you. Being friends with one of the work study janitorial staff has its perks. You still can’t believe he let you borrow them without a fight. This is a terrible idea, you think to yourself. A terrible, awful, extremely illegal idea that could land both you and Chan into jail.

The one marked with blue painter’s tape fits into the lock just like Chan said, and you hear a small click as you turn the key.

You let out a sigh of relief and hurry inside, making sure to quietly close the door. Your backpack hits the frame, and the sound echoes across the empty hallway. You dart into the stairwell, hoping no one heard the noise. Thankfully, no one comes running, and you can breathe again.

Alright. All you need to do is get down into the morgue, open up a couple of body bags, and study the dead bodies.

This is a really bad idea.

Why did Chan let you do this?

After a few more glances around, you take the stairs down, taking slow and quiet steps. Your heart pounds with every move. One hand grips the bannister, and the other hand covers your mouth in an attempt to muffle your hyperventilation.

A few agonizing minutes later, you arrive at the entrance. The other key Chan lent you opens it, and you get a face full of cold air when you walk in. You shut the door behind you, ensuring that it is locked. There are no bodies on the examining table, so you clear a cart and open the morgue fridge closest to you. You pick a random body bag and slide it onto the cart. The corpse is a little too heavy and tall for your small frame, and you wish you recruited someone to come with you.

With a lot of effort, you manage to get your study subject onto the examining table. You drop your backpack onto the floor before unwrapping the shroud. There’s a blue tag stating the cause of death attached to the wrapping, but you don’t look at it. You need to find out on your own.

You take a step back to get a full view of the corpse. It’s a male about your age, and it looks like he just recently died.

“Wow, he’s hot.” You never knew a dead person could be so… well, attractive. You shake your head, dissipating the thought of developing necrophilia.

“Hello there,” you say. You always feel that you should treat the dead with respect, so you speak to them as if they were still alive and present. “I have an exam tomorrow, and I need some practice. I hope you don’t mind me studying you.”

You take out your notebook and pen from your backpack. First, you write down observations (“face swelling,” “bumps on neck,” and “rash on arm”). When you can no longer find anything else of significance from merely looking at it, you take some gloves from the box in the wall and approach the body.

“I’m really sorry,” you whisper, “but I have to pass that exam. I’m just going to take a closer look at you.”

You gently poke his skin. He’s still firm, confirming your suspicion of it being a recent death. Upon closer inspection, you can see that his skin is tinted a very pale blue.

Realization hits you. “I bet I know how you died!” you excitedly whisper. You write down “allergic reaction” on your notebook and check the blue tag, which says “anaphylaxis”. “I was right!” you cheer. You make a mental note to use proper medical terms on your exam.

Before you can look at other bodies, you need to put this one back into the fridge.

“Thank you”– you check the tag for the body’s name– “Hwang Hyunjin.”

You drape the shroud over him and tie the binding back together in a butterfly knot and prepare to push the body onto the cart.

It’s a struggle to get it on without making any loud noises. The cart won’t stay still, and Hwang Hyunjin is too heavy for you to handle, so he keeps slipping out of your grip.

“Stop moving!” you hiss at nothing in particular.

“Let me out then!”

You freeze. The body bag moves in your arms, and you drop it. You back away– far, far away.

Breathe, you tell yourself. It’s late at night, and you drank way too much coffee before coming here. It’s just a hallucination caused by your paranoia.

“Let me out!” the same voice repeats.

“Y/N, pull it together!” you say out loud. “It’s not real.” You slap your cheeks a few times. “Okay, let’s do this.”

“You’ll let me out?”

You walk back to the examining table. “Nice try, guilty conscience,” you mutter to yourself. You resume trying to load the body onto the cart.

“Wait! I’m actually alive!”

“You’re a dead body. Tag says you died.” Goodness, it’s moving again. Chan was right; no more caffeine after 8 PM.

“Just open the bag and check!”

“You’re a figment of my imagination.”

“I’m moving around!”

“Could you move yourself back into the fridge?” Look at yourself, having full-on conversations with a corpse. Your classmates would have a field day if they saw you.

“Only after you open the bag.”

Maybe if you indulge in this stupid hallucination, it will go away. You untie the bindings and throw the shroud off.

“See? It’s…” You trail off when you see that his eyes are open and staring back at you.

He already looks terrifying, but then he waves and gives you a teasing smile. “I told you so.”

The normal thing to do would be to run out of the morgue and back into your apartment where you would bury yourself under a pile of blankets and convince yourself that it was all a caffeine-and-stress induced nightmare.

Instead, you stand there and say “You’re supposed to be dead” in a strangled voice.

He stands up, not realizing he’s completely naked. Now that you know he’s no longer dead, the sight becomes too awkward. You quickly dart your eyes elsewhere, stammering incoherent nothings to try to ease your nervousness. He’s naked and he’s very attractive, you think. He, just as flustered, scrambles to lift his body bag in front of himself.

“So, why aren’t you dead?” you cough.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? You must have done something!”

“Maybe you did something,” he suggests. “Are you a med student? Med students know how to do weird things.”

“Pre-med,” you correct. “And we can’t bring people back to life.”

He gasps. “I bet you’re a necromancer! That’s it!”

You ignore his nonsensical babbling and pull out your phone. You have to call Chan. It’s only 2 AM, thankfully; he’s still going to be awake.

“Hello?” you say.

He greets you with, “Are you in trouble?”

“Not really? It’s debatable.” There’s a not-so-dead body in front of you, and he’s going on and on about witchcraft and bringing the dead back. Why did you have to pick a crazy one?

“What did you do?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” He yells something, but you continue. “Can you come to the morgue? And can you bring some pants?”

“Y/N, if you did something with a dead body-”

“I didn’t do anything!” you shriek.

Hwang Hyunjin takes this opportunity to chime in with “Yes, you did.”

You groan and glare at him. “Do you want to die again? I can make it happen.”

“Who is that?!” Chan shouts. You can hear him moving around, presumably to leave your shared apartment. “And what do you mean ‘again?’ Y/N, what are you doing?”

“I’ll explain it when you get here. And make sure to bring some pants with you.”

“Why do you need pants?!” You hear a door slam shut and Chan running.

“Just bring them.” You look over to the boy on the table, remember he’s naked, and switch your gaze back to the floor. “And come quick.”

“Did you hook up with someone? Geez, Y/N! Why would you even do it at the morgue!”

“It’s nothing like that!” you wail. “I’ll explain it all later.”

“Seriously, if you did something, tell me! I won’t judge!”

“Yeah, just tell him!” Hyunjin adds. “She did something really cool to a dead body! Guess what it is!” he says a little louder.

“You really have a death wish, don’t you?” you hiss over Chan’s screaming.

Chan won’t stop shouting, Hwang Hyunjin won’t shut up, and you can’t decide who you want dead more– the one who keeps accusing you of necrophilia or the one who keeps making the situation worse.

“See you later, Chan!” you say as cheerfully as you can. Before he can argue, you end the call.

You turn to Hyunjin and stab a finger at his chest. “I am going to kill you very painfully and slowly and make you wish you were dead again.” Your voice loses its venom when you realize that you have a bigger problem on your hands. “How did this even happen?”

“I think you brought me back to life,” he quietly says. “It sounds dumb, but there’s no other explanation. According to my tag, I’ve been dead for a week now; this can’t just be a Lazarus phenomenon.”

“If that’s true, then I should have brought back at least ten other dead bodies in my anatomy class. But guess what? There’s not.” You sigh. “Dang it, I promised Chan that I wouldn’t get into trouble. He’s going to be so mad at me.”

“That’s partially my fault.” He pats your head in you think is supposed to be a reassuring matter. “Sorry for pissing him off. I just wanted to get back at you for not letting me out sooner.”

Normally, you would say something like “It’s fine” or “It’s no big deal,” but you are tired and the additional stress of not knowing what is happening rains on your mood, so you instead mutter, “I’m going to kill you.”

The door swings open, and Chan stands hunched over in the frame, breathing heavily. When he takes in the scene in front of him, he groans.

“Y/N, I thought you said you didn’t hook up with anyone.” He walks over to you and tosses the pair of pants to Hyunjin.

“I didn’t!” You turn the other way and let Hyunjin dress himself.

“Why is he naked then?”

“She just brought me back to life. I told you she did something really cool to a dead body,” Hyunjin answers. “I’m decent now,” he tells you to cue you to turn back around.

“Is this a prank?” Chan asks. “Is this why you wanted my key? Who is this guy anyway?”

Animosity forgotten, Hyunjin asks Chan, “How did you get in if Y/N has the key? And I’m Hyunjin.” He sticks out his hand for the other male to shake.

Chan shakes his hand and flashes a thin silver key. “I’m Chan. I’m also the head janitor here, so I have a universal key.”

Is this really happening? You blink a few times to make sure you’re seeing things right. The two guys that were screaming at each other earlier are having a civil conversation, and you’re pretty sure they’re exchanging work out tips now.

“Can we focus on the issue here?” you interrupt. “He was dead and now he’s alive.”

“So, it’s not a prank?” He looks at Hyunjin. “You were actually dead?”

“Yeah.” Hyunjin replies. “I have a cat allergy. A cat scratched me, and I didn’t realize until it was too late.”

You’re standing in-between them, so you wave your arms and get both of their attention. “Back to the main subject: what do we do?”

“You study for the exam, and Hyunjin and I will figure it out,” Chan suggests.

The exam. In the midst of the drama, you almost forgot about it. Your grade is on the line, but Hyunjin seems to be the bigger issue here.

“We need to figure out what to do with this guy first,” you protest.

Chan shakes his head and pulls out another body. “You came here for this; you need to finish it. I’ll figure Hyunjin out.”

“But–”

“No but’s,” Chan says with such finality in his voice that you give in. You try to eavesdrop on the two males and their discussion on how Hyunjin is alive and what to do with him, but Chan catches you staring and scolds you until you turn back to your work with a huff.

It’s 4 AM, and your head is filled with medical terminology and the whisperings of Chan and Hyunjin. For the past two hours, you identified causes of death for nearly fifteen corpses, none of which came alive. Meanwhile, the two made themselves comfortable on another examining table and chatted about solutions. They sometimes put back and pull out more bodies for you, but they always stop talking when they do so as to not distract you.

When the words start blurring on your notebook pages, you announce that you’re done and that it’s time to leave.

Chan seems satisfied with your work and agrees. “Hyunjin, you can stay with us.”

You shake your head. “What if they find out they’re missing a body? He can’t leave.”

“We can’t tie him back up and shove him back in the fridge either.”

“Yes, we can.”

“Y/N!” they both yell.

Chan pauses to think. “How about I’ll tell the higher-ups that I was taking the trash from the morgue tomorrow morning and when I came in, I heard banging from the inside of the fridge?”

“I don’t want to stay here all night,” Hyunjin complains. “Or appear on the evening news for being a medical miracle either.”

“What else can we do? We can’t just steal you!” you argue.

Hyunjin seems rather enthused about the idea. “Just do that! You guys don’t even have to carry me! I’ll walk out with you guys!”

“Chan, say something!”

“He can stay with us. At least until we figure this out.”

It’s 4 AM; you don’t have time for this. You stretch and gather your things. “Fine. But if we get caught, I’m telling the police it was all your idea,” you tell Chan.

“Thanks for letting me stay!” He heads for the door, but you stop him.

“Well just pants isn’t going to cut it,” you sigh. You thrust your hoodie towards him. “Here.”

He looks at it with a frown. “But you’re going to be cold.”

“I have a shirt at least,” you rebuttal. “Just take it. You’re the one who came out a freezer.”

“Just take it,” Chan supports. “She’ll be fine.”

You feel a soft weight plop on your head and recognize the sleeve of Chan’s gray jacket draping over your vision.

“You could have given it to me normally,” you grumble. You thread your hands into the sleeves anyway, liking how they can cover your hands.

Chan just sticks his tongue out at you, and Hyunjin quickly pulls your hoodie over himself now that he knows you will be fine.

“You smell nice,” he mumbles as his nose barely peaks out of your clothing.

“Thanks, I guess? Alright, let’s go.”

The walk back is the most stressful trip you’ve ever taken in your life. Every five seconds, you turn your head around to check for security guards while trying to look natural at the same time. You let out a sigh of relief when all three of you manage to make it to the front door of your and Chan’s shared apartment without getting thrown into jail.

Once inside, you and Chan wave goodnight to Hyunjin who makes himself comfortable on the couch. You and Chan head in yourselves, you ask him, “Did you figure out why he’s alive?”

“Not yet,” he replies. When you yawn, he chuckles. “Let’s just have you focus on getting some sleep and doing well tomorrow, okay?”

“I know, I know. Good night.”

“Good luck on your exam, Y/N!” Hyunjin calls.

He gives you an encouraging smile with a blanket under his chin, and your breath suddenly hitches.

“Yeah, thanks,” you reply while turning to the side to try to forget his unfairly beautiful face. Why is your heart speeding up? You curse at yourself. He was literally dead flesh not a tenth of a day ago; he shouldn’t be able to have this effect on you.

Despite getting only three hours of sleep, you think you did well on the exam. You almost fell asleep during the first five minutes, but you caught yourself thinking about Hyunjin’s smile, and that thought alone jolted you awake.

As you walk out of the lab, you see Chan waiting for you outside.

“Hey,” you greet. You look behind him but your other roommate isn’t there. “Where’s Hyunjin?”

He tosses you a granola bar. “At a job interview. How was the exam?”

“Not too bad. Spending two hours in the morgue last night helped. Thanks, by the way.” You gratefully unwrap and start eating the snack. “So, you just left Hyunjin alone?”

“He’ll be fine. It’s not like he’ll get attacked or anything.”

“And how the heck is he going to get hired when he’s technically dead?”

“I’m a criminal who burned his death certificate. He’s still alive now.”

You nearly choke on your granola bar. “What? Aren’t you supposed to be the responsible one?”

“Look, we already stole his body. Foot in the door phenomenon.”

“Have you been reading my psych book over my shoulder?”

He shrugs. “I didn’t have anything else to do.”

“Are you sure this is okay? We could get into so much trouble.”

Chan flashes you an assuring smile. “When has anything I’ve done ever gone wrong. Besides, you can just tell the police it was all my doing if it does,” he adds with a wink, referring to what you said that morning.

You open your mouth to point out a time he did mess up only to discover you can’t remember a time he did.

“Can you come to the library with me?” he asks. “I want to do some necromancy research.”

You groan and roll your eyes, but follow him anyway. “You seriously bought into his conspiracy theory?”

“It doesn’t hurt to check.”

“What are we supposed to do?” you whisper to Chan once you are there. “Go up to the librarian and ask if they have any books about raising the dead?”

“Yeah, we can do that.”

Chan drags you to the circulation desk, and you frantically pull his jacket sleeve to stop him.

“I was kidding!

“It’s RACHA U. They’ll just think we’re a bunch of weird kids.”

You sigh and let go of his sleeve. “Whatever.” You wait for him to continue walking, but he doesn’t. “What’s wrong?”

“Y/N, you have to go ask. You look like you’re into occult stuff more than I do.” He gestures to your oversized sweater and black combat boots. “Besides, you have a weird enough face for it.”

You glare at him, but that only further justifies his point. He gently shoves you forward, and you smile brightly at the librarian. Chan owes you big time.

“Good morning!” you say in a chipper voice that you can hardly believe is yours. You can see Chan wincing at the sound.“I was wondering if you have any books about raising the dead or witchcraft?”

The middle-aged lady only glances at you before telling you, “Third floor, 100-199. Make sure you put the books back in the right place.”

You enthusiastically nod and say in the same bright voice, “Thank you so much!”

The bookshelves labelled 100 to 199 are tucked in the back corner of the floor. You pick a random one and scan the selection. It’s mostly books on philosophy, and you wonder if the librarian sent you here to tell you to reconsider your life choices.

“I’m done with this,” you groan after a few minutes.

“Fine.” Chan sweeps your book towards himself.

You let out a sigh of relief and pull out your textbook, something actually worthwhile and realistic. You and Chan fall silent as you both dive into your respective texts. He drops a few books onto the table, and every time he does, you scoff at the titles.

“You nonbeliever,” enters a new voice. “Shame the nonbeliever.”

You and Chan look up to see Hyunjin who moves to sit by Y/N. He slides you both a coffee and your fingers brush as you take it from him.

“The interview went well then?” Chan asks while raising up his cup in thanks.

Your hand burns in the spots where he touched you. You place the fingertips of your other hand on it to try to ease the alien feeling to no avail.

“Yeah, I got the job, and they gave me some coffee as congrats.”

“Oh, nice. Make sure to give us discounts when we go over to the cafe.”

“Which cafe?” you ask to distract yourself from your still burning hand.

“Yellow Wood. It’s pretty quiet there, so you can study there sometime.”

You nod, suddenly gaining an interest the corner cafe you usually pass without notice.

“So, what have we found so far?” Hyunjin inquires, peering at Chan’s book.

“Not much. Although I think a recurring point in these books is that necromancers all need to say a spell before their magic works. It’s different for everyone,” Chan answers.

You can feel their attention shift to you.

“Y/N,” Hyunjin begins, “Do you remember saying something before you said hello to me? That was the first thing I heard.”

You thought for a second and then nearly spit out your coffee when you remember the one and only thing you said in the morgue before greeting him. There is no way you are admitting to saying that. No way.

“No,” you squeak out, your voice even higher than it was when you were talking to the librarian. “I don’t remember anything.”

“She’s lying,” Chan calls you out. “She pulls her sleeves over her hands like that when she lies.”

You quickly hide your hands under the table. Dang it, Chan knew you too well.

Hyunjin chuckles. “Aww.”

“If you heard me say hello, why didn’t you move then?” you ask in an attempt to change the subject.

“I couldn’t move yet,” Hyunjin answers. “And because you said you had an exam to study for. I wanted to help.”

“What did you say?” Chan tries again. “Don’t dodge the question.”

“I’m not going to tell you,” you reply as you heat creep up your cheeks. “It’s something personal.”

“We’ve been friends for ages,” Chan reminds. “You can tell me. I won’t judge.”

Yes, you will, you think. Because even you’re judging your poor choice of words.

“It doesn’t matter. This ‘necromancy’ thing is a load of bull, anyway.” The last part comes out louder and harsher than you intended, and you awkwardly sip your coffee and try to ignore the stares from the both of them.

Chan sees your discomfort and decides to drop the subject. He goes back to gathering books, but Hyunjin stays by your side, with his head resting on his forearms.

“You’re not going to help him?” you ask, taking care to sound nonchalant.

“I’m just trying to figure out how to apologize to you.”

You laugh. “Shouldn’t you be thanking me? I supposedly brought you back after all.”

His voice is soft when he says, “I know I’m a bother. I want to know why I’m here, but I don’t want to make you stress over it.”

“Chan’s the one stressing over it, not me.”

“Then what did you say before you said hello?”

You shut your textbook and stuff your papers in your bag. You can’t tell him, and there’s no way he’s going to give it up like Chan did.

“Thanks for the coffee. I just remembered I gotta go… buy a new notebook. I’m running out of pages in mine,” you make up. “Bye.”

You practically run out of the library, and you hear him call your name. He doesn’t follow you, thank goodness.

When you’re finally outside, you pause to rest. With nowhere else to go and because you need to keep up the lie, you head to the campus store and buy an overpriced notebook. Your bank account cries, but it’s better than Hyunjin finding out.

Returning to the library isn’t an option, so you go back home. You’d have to face the two boys again later, but at least for now you can relish in your moment of not being under an interrogation light. It doesn’t last long, however. You only get through reading half of the next chapter of your textbook when you hear Chan’s keys jiggling in the doorknob.

“Did you buy your notebook already?” Chan asks, raising one eyebrow.

Jokes on him though. You smirk and hold up your brand new purchase. “Isn’t it nice?”

“Not nice enough for fifteen dollars.”

You silently agree. “Are you guys done with your ‘research?’”

Chan ignores your sarcasm. Or maybe he doesn’t care. “Almost. We just need you to test out our idea.”

“I already told you. It’s not gonna work anyway.”

You swear you hear them murmur, “Nonbeliever.”

“You can try on your own and tell us if it works or not after,” Hyunjin offers.

There’s a very big flaw to his plan, but you don’t say anything about it. “Look, even if I believed in this theory of yours, we can’t exactly go back to the morgue and bring back another dead body.”

“What if you tried on an animal?” Hyunjin suggests. “RACHA U has a lot of animals around.”

“Great. You can kill a squirrel for me then.”

“Roadkill, Y/N,” Chan sighs. “We’ll just find some roadkill.”

“Even better. You can run over a squirrel, and I’ll wait on the sidelane.”

Chan sighs again, but you can see Hyunjin suppressing a smile. You and Hyunjin exchange looks, and he gives you a small, secretive grin.

“Dinner?” Chan changes the subject. “We can go to Yellow Wood and make Hyunjin give us a discount.”

You start packing as Hyunjin says, “I’m not even working the evening shift!”

“What? They don’t give out employee discounts?” Chan looks to you. “Ready?”

“You’re buying me dinner for making me ask the librarian.”

Hyunjin interjects, “It’s okay, Y/N. I’ll buy you dinner.”

“I didn’t give you $50 for you to do stuff like this,” Chan tsks.

“I’ll buy yours too.”

“Now we’re talking.”

Much to Chan’s disappointment, there are no employee discounts. Much to Chan’s pleasure, he doesn’t need to pay today.

“Thanks, Hyunjin,” you say as he places a turkey sandwich in front of you.

“No problem,” he replies and immediately turns to get you a cup of water.

“Is this the roadkill you were talking about, Chan?” you tease as you flip open the sandwich to add a few stripes of mayo.

“Try saying the words loud and clear if that’s what you think,” he shoots back.

“Abracadabra,” you humor him with a scoff.

Before Chan can retort back, Hyunjin returns with the cup of water.

“Where’s my water?” asks Chan with a childish pout.

“Get your own.” You stick your tongue out at him before thanking Hyunjin with a smile.

“No problem,” replies Hyunjin. You think you see him blush, but you don’t want to believe he would do that because of you.

The three of you eat your sandwiches while making light conversation. About halfway through your sandwich, Chan’s phone rings, and he excuses himself from the table. When he comes back, he doesn’t sit down but instead stuffs his sandwich in his mouth.

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

“I have a shift right now. I have to go,” he apologizes.

You and Hyunjin wave goodbye. It’s just the two of you, alone. You avoid eye contact with Hyunjin while still trying to maintain a normal, friendly conversation.

Hyunjin, however, has other ideas. “Is this a date?”

You flush red and try to cover your face with your hair. “No. It’s just two people eating together.”

“So, a date?”

“Two people eating together is not a date.” The back of your neck feels hot, and you focus on the traffic lights outside.

He senses your discomfort and offers you a smile which makes you lose your sense of objection.

“Ask me out properly next time,” you grumble into your bread.

Hyunjin’s face lights up like a puppy but then falters. “Will Chan be okay with it?”

“Yeah, I think so,” you blink, confused. “Why wouldn’t he?”

“I thought maybe–” You can see him visibly relax. “Nevermind.”

You are relaxing with some BGA music when Chan rudely obscures your vision by dropping a dissection tray in front of you.

“Chan!” you yell. “What the heck!”

In the tray is a very-much dead squirrel.

“I found it while on my shift. We can test out the necromancy theory now,” Chan grins victoriously.

“And you bring it into my room?!” You bring a hand in front of your face. The dead animal smell is going to permanently taint your room now.

“Unless you wanna do it in the living room? Hyunjin’s there getting ready to sleep,” shrugs Chan.

“Restroom,” you propose while pushing past him. “I’ll try it there.”

You slam the door behind you and turn on all the faucets to drown out the noise. “No eavesdropping!” you yell.

You look at the rodent in front of you with a sigh. You tuck your nose inside your hoodie and begin with, “Hi Mr. Squirrel. I’m sorry I have to use you to indulge in Chan’s stupid plans. You could’ve been resting peacefully in some compost bin right now.”

You let out a huff of air and place your hands above it. “Here we go.” You close your eyes and whisper, “Wow, he’s hot.”

You quickly tap the corpse with your fingers for some extra magic before opening your eyes. Sure enough, the little brown animal begins to blink awake. A yelp of surprise leaves your lips and you jump, bumping into the towel rack.

“Y/N! Are you okay?” Hyunjin bursts through the door with worry evident in his eyes.

“I-it–”

“It worked!” Chan exclaims from outside.

The squirrel twitches, and you hide behind Hyunjin.

“There’s another problem now! We have a squirrel in our bathroom!” you squeak out. “What do we do?”

The squirrel moves again, and Hyunjin reaches for a towel. You and Chan watch as he wraps the towel around the creature. He picks the squirrel up and runs outside to release it.

“So, it worked,” Chan repeats.

“It did work,” you echo.

“What did you say?”

“I told you many times! It’s something personal! It’s none of your concern.”

“It’s about Hyunjin, isn’t it?”

Caught off guard, you pause for a brief moment. “Pft, no, it’s not.”

“You’re doing the sleeve thing again.” When you don’t say a word, he continues with, “What was the spell?”

There’s no point in hiding it from your longtime friend. You check to make sure Hyunjin’s not back before answering in a whisper, “Wow, he’s hot.”

You expect him to laugh, to threaten to tell Hyunjin, but he just gives you a look of disgust.

“You saw a dead body and the first thing you thought was that he’s hot?“

“I’m not proud of it either! Please don’t tell him.”

“I won’t. Because you will.”

You stammer some incoherent sentences before getting out, “No!”

“What’s the problem? Aren’t you two gonna start going out?”

“How do you know about that?”

“He called me during my shift and rambled on and on about it. He’s so excited. It’s a little concerning that he’s so happy to date you. I should teach him to have better taste.”

“Rude. But that’s not the point! It’s such an embarrassing thing to say!”

The front door opens, and Hyunjin walks back into the bathroom with the towel and a few scratches on his arm. You jump, and Chan gives you a look.

“Hey, I’m back,” he announces. “That squirrel seemed pretty mad that he was alive again.”

Conversation with Chan forgotten, you reach for the first-aid kit under the sink and hurry to help Hyunjin. While you’re busy disinfecting the wounds, Chan keeps trying to send you signals.

“Chan,” you ask to interrupt his eyebrow raising and nodding, “can you put the towel in the hamper?”

“Yeah.” He takes the towel from Hyunjin and suddenly pauses. “Oh, Hyunjin. Y/N said she wanted to tell you something.”

“I wanted to let you know that I think we should get ice-cream for our first date.” It’s a good thing your hands are busy, otherwise you would be hiding them with your sleeves again.

“No. The other thing.”

“Oh, right.” He is going to get it now. “Chan said he would personally fund our date, so I think we should try that gourmet ice-cream parlor.”

Chan chokes and starts coughing. The two of you stopped by in the beginning of the year to check it out, and the two of you immediately left after seeing the absurdly high prices.

“That’s really nice of you, but I’ll treat Y/N with my own money. I’ll pay you back the $50, too,” Hyunjin adds.

Chan smirks at you and thanks Hyunjin for being such a gentleman and treating you so well.

You finish patching up Hyunjin, and he thanks you in appreciation. When he goes to lie down on the couch, Chan pulls you aside.

“Just tell him!”

“Only if you fund the date!” You know he’ll never agree.

“I don’t have that kind of money!”

“And I don’t have that kind of courage!”

You head back into your room and bury yourself in your blankets. Without meaning to, scenarios of you admitting to Hyunjin the words run through your mind. All of them end with Hyunjin mercilessly teasing you, and for some strange reason, Chan is there as well, laughing.

You groan and put your headphones on.

The first official date with Hyunjin happens after Hyunjin receives his first paycheck. As promised, he pays back Chan, who is still won’t stop pestering you.

He laces his fingers with yours as the two of you walk down the street to the less expensive ice-cream parlor. You’re shocked at his boldness but don’t let go. It’s only when he wraps his arms around your shoulders at a stoplight do flinch and look at him uncertainly.

He apologizes with one of his warm smiles and holds your hand again.

He buys you an ice-cream cone, and no matter how much you insist on paying for it, he ignores you and drops his money on the counter.

“I’ll pay you back,” you promise.

“Y/N, you’re my girlfriend now. I’ll buy you anything you want.”

“How about a house?”

“Only if we can live together.”

As the two of you, still holding hands and eating ice-cream, stroll through a park, he points out a dead bird.

“Look! You can bring it back to life!”

After all the squirrel commotion, no one ever really brought up the necromancy thing again. Well, Chan kept bothering you to tell Hyunjin the spell words, but that didn’t really count. Hyunjin, on the other hand, just seemed glad that his hypothesis was right and that he could spend time with you. And you just pushed the newfound part of yourself away and kept quiet during anatomy classes.

“I’m not doing that again.” You try to drag him away from the tiny corpse, but he’s rooted to the ground. “Let’s go.”

“You don’t want to help it?”

“It’s dead already. I just want to forget my powers and let nature take its course. Besides, you said the squirrel was angry when I brought it back.” You try moving him again. “Let’s go get coffee.”

He gives in and lets you lead the way to Yellow Wood. “You know, you never told me what you first said to me.”

“It’s personal.”

“Fine. You don’t have to tell me the exact words. What was it about?”

“I’m not telling you,” you say with the most childlike voice you can muster.

“Y/N.”

“If I let you hug me, will drop the subject?”

He pouts, “Don’t think you’re getting out of this,” but he’s more than excited to hug you and bury his nose in your hair. Your face heats up, and he grins at your bright red cheeks. He’s happy which makes you happy, and you don’t even have to tell him the words yet.

And you never will. Or so you think.

You cried when he proposed, and you cry now when he reads his vows. At some point, you can no longer hear him speak because he’s sobbing as well.

It takes several breaks and some throat-clearing before he can end his speech with, “And I know people usually promise ‘until death do us part,’ but I know I’ll love and be with you to death and beyond. Literally.”

You laugh at the inside joke and reach forward to brush his tears away.

“Hyunjin,” you choke out, “I love you so much.”

Chan, who is both the best man and the maid of honor, is the first to start cheering at your statement, but the rest of the guests soon join in.

“So, will you tell me now?” he jokingly whispers into your ear.

With the loud noise from the guests and the euphoria you feel, you murmur, “Wow, he’s hot.”

For some strange reason, he’s surprised. “You think I’m hot?”

“Of course I do.”

His eyes are bright as he gently lifts your chin up. “I love you, too,” he replies back right before he kisses you.

~ ad.gray

#hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #skz #stray kids #bang chan #chan #necromancer #college au #20190910

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ladywhitetower · 5 years

Text

Damien is a monster and I will NOT be convinced otherwise

But I WILL convince you

I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE I’M CRAZY BUT I SWEAR I AM NOT

You call all thank @chadarum for indulging my nonsense which I now set upon you

@podcastlimbo this is my main theory, @jakkubrat, @shorter-than-her-tbr-pile, @a-green-bean and @onesmoothassendoplasmicretilum, you all showed interest in this post, so now y’all get tagged. @cryptidie, this is the theory in full!

Long post because this is a hell of a ride.

Alright so basically:

Part 1- Damien has a sensitivity to the Other (divine/monstrous)

Part 2- The saints are all monsters, actually

Part 3- Damien himself is part monster

Part 4- Damien is connected/descended from SD himself

(Could I make several posts instead of the one? Yes. Will I? No. @chadarum, you have given me Too Much power.)

Now, let’s begin:

PART 1:

ABSOLUTELY NO ONE TALKS ABOUT HOW DAMIEN TALKED TO A LITERAL SAINT

AND PERFORMED A GODDAMN MIRACLE

BUT HE DID

AND THIS IS! IMPORTANT

Battle at World’s End Part 4 is The pinnacle of Damien’s conflicted dilemma, but the thing is. He talked to Saint Damien. Actually talked!!! SD was answering him!!!

We hear Rilla admitting to Sir Caroline that he thinks all the saints talk is nonsense, but it’s important to Damien so she doesn’t mind it in The Spiral Sage, Part 2, after being told by the Judge that there’s no rules in his court.

Sir Caroline thinks it’s all stupid bullshit in the same conversation

And no one else seems to really believe in them? The Queen makes a few “saints help us” comments but, for a city built on the principle of three saints building their citadel, why is Damien the only one who really seems to believe in them? He is the only one who actually prays

Battle at World’s End Part 4, from Damien’s monologue: In days when you spoke to me, in days when you didn’t leave me to linger, lonely at your heel.

He says “days”. Plural. P L U R A L. And we KNOW SD spoke to him that day at the river (SD ACTUALLY HELPED HIM) plus we Just heard them talking!!!

Damien also makes a big deal about SD forsaking him, and about losing his tranquility. Why, in Lady of the Lake he thinks SD just might drown him in the poisoned water.

Actually, let’s count the times Damien asks his saint for help and is delivered:

Knight of the Crown, Lord of the Swamp, part 2: In part 1 we hear Damien saying the tranquility bit before striking Arum, but in part 2… while being chased by the rat monster, he asks SD for help, and the rat’s growls shift into the sound of waves!!!!!

Lady of the Lake: While drunk, Damien says he asked SD for guidance once he was about to drown, and the waves around him Stilled, lulling him to sleep

Battle at World’s End, part 4: THE PRAYER! HE PRAYS AND SD, IN HIS FIRST INTERFERENCE IN A WHILE, OPENS A WHOLE PORTAL TO THE KEEP, PRETTY FAR AWAY PLACE, INSIDE FORT TERMINUS. WHICH WAS SUPPOSEDLY IMPOSSIBLE

AND the conversation. SD helping him regain his tranquility at last.

May I bring up, “But isn’t that your way? No true wisdom can be told, only learned.” Damien has had several talks with SD, we all know and agree right? He knows well enough to know he won’t receive an answer. But the fact that he did not show ANY shock at hearing SD‘s voice, rather about hearing it in monster territory, means it has happened before

I am ALSO going to bring up “there’s something Human in his eyes” because while it is a very nice turn of phrase and all, isn’t it curious how he is the only one to say anything of the sort? Damien immediately notices this from bantering with Arum ONCE, and like. Arum hot. But Damien saw this and was Right. He is Perceptive!

So, Damien talks to SD several times and receives help, plus sees things in monsters that no one else does and is strangely sensitive to them (only one to hear the howling in LOTL, anyone? Only one to see it at first?)

PART 2:

THE SAINTS ARE ALL MONSTERS

LET US DISCUSS THIS

Let’s talk about how Damien’s explanation about monsters vs saints is shaky at best

Taken from his exchange with Talfryn in The Spiral Sage, part 2

Talfryn: But don’t monsters have that kind of power?

Damien: Monsters And Saints, my friend! It’s actually quite simple. Monsters break the divine rules that govern all things. Saints ask for permission from the powers above to bend those rules. And with that permission granted, they know their acts are good!

Talfryn: But… how are you supposed to tell the difference?

Damien: Faith, my friend.

But… there’s a few problems with this theory

The monsters have a court. They have their “anyone can do anything they want rule” and apparently things like censorship are taboo. And we Know “Judge Helicoid” was absolute bullshit but we Also know everyone took his word and genuinely thought he Was asking the universe for verdicts, and everyone followed and respected them.

This communication and dealings with the universe lead us to believe that…. actually, the monsters are more connected to the universe than the humans are

In their explanations, Quanyii and Arum BOTH say that magic is unpredictable and depends entirely on the universe. Rilla even calls Arum out on Not Knowing how the universe works exactly, and he disdains her desire to understand things completely.

Exchange from The Moonlit Hermit, part 2, after attempting to use it to heal Arum’s Keep:

Arum: ... that is how magic operates. When you reach for the cosmos, there are no guarantees. What didn’t work then may work now. We will not know unless we try.

Rilla: So magic is inconsistent.

Arum: Exactly.

The Hallowed Halls of Helicoid, part 1, after Quanyii saves Sir Caroline:

Quanyii: And that, sweets, is how you make magic work for you. Magical spells, commands, etceteras and so-ons only feels like answering them.

Therefore, if monsters could Just break the rules of the universe… wouldn’t their magic be more reliable?

By Damien’s explanation, Arum and quite possibly Quanyii could be saints. The only difference is that they don’t care about their acts being good. Arum reaches for the impossible. Quanyii just… likes the power.

Because of this, we can dismiss his explanation being 100% accurate.

His tale of the Three, the one the whole citadel apparently tells, has them display abilities that make them either witches or monsters

But I’m gonna say monsters because of a few things:

The Spiral Sage debacle. Is he human? Is he monster? Is he… both?

Quanyii saying “No. No matter how hard I try” when asked by Rilla whether she is a monster after revealing she can change forma, implying there Could be a way for a human to become a monster, and possibly viceversa. (More on this later)

These two quotes:

Head of the Janus Beast, Talfryn to Marc: “SIR CAROLINE IS A JANUS BEAST?”

Lady of the Lake, Sir Damien to Sir Angelo: “Sir Angelo! She could be a monster herself!”

Those lines, plus the fact that BOTH the nymphs and the fungi monster could take human forms, both So accurate that everyone thought they were real at first (NO ONE realized the nymphs WEREN’T human until THEY said so!), outright make it evident that some monsters, at least, are capable of taking human forms. The Nymphs are the most relevant, obviously, because they didn’t take the forms as illusions or separate entities, they Wore those shapes and were comfortable with them.

Finally, the tapestries Damien sees in The Hallowed Halls of Helicoid, part 2, of monsters and humans “living together… lying together!” (Pix and David, anyone?)

(Actually Pix, David and the tapestries, including Spiral Sage’s, make it clear there was a time before the first citadel being destroyed where monsters and humans not only mingled, but lived peacefully… at least in some places) (On that note… I don’t think Fort Terminus really belonged to these monsters… I think they broke in, too.)

Also, from LOTL, “Knights… slay monsters, don’t they? Seems convenient. And there’s a witch right in front of you.” PLUS Rilla’s backstory, The Moonlit Hermit, part 1, with her parents being exiled and Quanyii’s presence in the court means that witches and monsters often associate or are lumped together.

SD PERFORMED A MIRACLE IN OLD MONSTER TERRITORY. HE IS A POWERFUL MONSTER. MAY HAVE KNOWN THE KEEP, BECAUSE HEY THAT WAS THE KEEP’S DIRT

I know I sound like a crazy person, but the saints are CLEARLY either monsters who took human form or monster/human descendants

But pray tell, Ria, why would they fight for the humans?

WELL MY DEAR, CAPTIVE READER: while we have Heard that the destruction of the first citadel was the only time the monsters unified, it isn’t difficult to believe that some, like Arum, were rather indifferent/on the outskirts of the conflict. I suspect some, also like Arum, may have forged connections with humans. Or perhaps they were horrified by how much destruction and death they caused. If they were monster descendants, the root might have been love.

PART 3:

(We’re almost near the end I promise)

Damien is a monster

Because I say so

Okay actual evidence:

SD’s constant interference

May I direct you to this exchange in The Caves of Discord, when Damien is late to the meeting (thank you, Sir Caroline)

Sir Angelo: Sir Damien? You’ve called Both of your greatest knights for one little monster?

Queen Mira: I never said there was a monster. Now, sit.

Sir Angelo: A monster that is not a monster? Intriguing.

FORESHADOWING, ANYONE?

Knight of the Crown, Lord of the Swamp, part 1, Arum, upon being told by Damien there’s something human in his eyes: You’d never considered they might be something… monstrous in yours?

He isn’t saying it because he Sees anything, he’s saying it bc he’s cornered, but… Damien takes it pretty seriously.

Also from Knight of the Crown, Lord of the Swamp part 2, Damien to Angelo upon giving him his last poem for Rilla: After all, it’s easier, is it not? To mourn a man who was a monster all along.

If Damien is sensitive to the divine, and the divine is monstrous, then Damien is sensitive to the monstrous. I’m gonna say he is a monster, too. His arc is Way too full of that theme for there to be any other choice.

Damien was also the most sensitive to the Monster from the cocoon, and yes, we can attribute that solely to his anxiety and already rippling fear but… after Part 4, he stops being that sensitive. Rilla Screams and nearly dies from its impact, but Damien is…. strangely fine? He is sensitive but overcomes it anyway, and was at never point physically affected. Could just be tranquility… could also be… monster.

PART 4:

But Ria, you ask, How are SD and Damien connected? Well.

Did you notice NO ONE knew about the Spiral Sage?

Absolutely no one.

NO ONE

NOR DID THEY KNOW ABOUT THE WORLDS’ ENDS.

Literally the only reason Rilla knew was Because of Damien.

Everyone else was completely unfamiliar with these myths, br Sir Caroline who mentioned the South World’s End but had never seen the North, including the existence of Fort Terminus, and while we know Damien comes from a scholar family, at least from his father’s side…. couldn’t it be possible that his family is made of scholars Precisely because of that link to SD?

I mean Damien knew the Whole BAWE poem which was… so long.

They could have very well have kept these three thousand year old myths if they were SD descendants. Because it Has been about a long time? At least “centuries passed” (KotC, part 1) between the First Citadel and the Second Citadel as we know it. And in THHOH Part 1, Rilla confirms three thousand years have passed. How do they have access to such well preserved myths??

Even Sage Helicoid could be explained away as the family protecting themselves but still wanting to keep those myths.

Maybe Damien’s mother was a monster? I lean more on far descendants tho.

Plus, Quanyii, in the same episode, says the one time the monster attack was completely unified, it was “so bad it wiped out most of recorded history before that.” So… how does Damien know?

Plus, why Else would SD interfere so many times in Damien’s behalf? There’s no other instance of any character receiving saintly help, but several where Damien does.

Remember Damien’s prayer?

Damien: Saint Damien, we beg that you lend us your spear to pierce the veil that keeps this beast from home. If it be your will, if it be your will… as it is mine.

And that last line? THAT is when the portal stabilizes!!!

They are connected FIGHT ME.

Damien says SD had forsaken him and was looking for a reason, but SD kept interfering for him in minor ways when he was in serious peril, however stops talking to him entirely UNTIL Damien is questioning his purpose after opening the portal.

Damien also says, in LOTL, “It is our sworn duty to kill monsters. To cleanse the monsters’ blight upon this land.”

Could it be that SD, a monster, stopped outright talking to SD once his focus shifter from helping people into just. assuming he had changed enough and mindlessly killing monsters to the point where he saw it as a competition with Angelo? Then, he performed a miracle once Damien not only wanted to help someone else, but wanted to help a monster (that he loved, for his beloved Rilla). And finally, once he saw Damien could still be saved because he was doubting, talked to him and guided him back to tranquility?

AND ONE FINAL PIECE OF WHAT I AM CALLING EVIDENCE, from The Spiral Sage part 2

The Spiral Sage, Part 2, Quanyii introducing herself: [My name] is always Quanyii, no matter how much of my physical form I change, so pease don’t get confused. Oh, I know that sounds boring, sweets, but even when you’re trying to keep things fresh something has to stay the same or you might lose yourself entirely.

Notice how Damien is the only character to have a Saint as a namesake?

I’m not saying Damien is a reincarnation of Saint Damien or anything, but I Am writing fic about it and this tidbit is a Blessing to have.

But as to my is Damien a monster question?

I say Yes. Damien is a monster and connected to Saint Damien.

#tpp #the penumbra podcast #the penumbra #sir damien #quanyii #sir caroline #rilla #lord arum #sir damien the pious #tpp damien #second citadel #tpp season 3 #saint damien #I won't be majorly upset if this doesn't happen #but i Will write all the fanfic if it doesn´t #sirs angelo #queen mira

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zoe-oneesama · 5 years

Note

I'm sorry if this seems rude, but your treatment of Alya makes me very uncomfortable. This isn't something you're entirely to blame for, as a good chunk of the fandom treats her very poorly (with either ignoring her or reducing her role to "ships the lovesquare"), but the amount of comics and posts you've made about punishing Alya feels a little extreme to me at this point. I understand the salt after chameleon, but everyone was ooc in that ep. Also it's been over a month. (1/2)

I will start by saying thank you for coming to me with your complaints in honestly the nicest way you possibly could, I really appreciate you taking a very calm and critical tone in approaching me with a genuine concern.

I will also point out I can’t think of any comics I’ve made attacking Alya or punishing her, so I’m not sure what you mean by that, but maybe I’ve re blogged someone else’s comic and it’s not coming to mind right now. But I also try hard to tag stuff so people can block the rants they don’t want to see. I guess the probelm is I use the #alya salt tag instead of #anti alya.

And I can agree that Alya’s characterization has gotten out of hand in the fanon vs canon, particularly when we had that long hiatus so fanon Alya bled into the consciousness and confused what actually is canon Alya.

However I won’t apologize for being critical of Alya. I will try to explain my own reasoning for you though so maybe you can understand where I’m coming from.

My two main criticisms of Alya are 1) She’s not a good journalist and 2) She disregards Marinette’s feelings even though she’s her best friend.

The Good Journalist is something that I personally think is a fanon idea. Her being an ethical, searches only for the truth reporter who has integrity about the facts came from the hiatus, and my position on this is supported in canon.

When Marinette’s identity, the secret she holds most dear, is in jeopardy, because it’s Alya who is making the claim, she is unconcerned. If Alya was a threat to her identity (i.e. someone who often had evidence to support their claims) she would be worried, but instead she brushes it off. Like it’s not the first time Alya’s pitched a theory from left field at her. Even Nino laughs right in her face.

Volpina backs this up with her posting an unverified video of Lila claiming to be best friends with Ladybug without getting any sources or evidence that it could be true. In doing this, not only is she reducing her blog to a gossip column, but she is directly endangering this girl by blasting her relationship with a Superhero where anyone could see it. Because her scoop is more important that truth.

There’s also her crusade to find out Ladybug’s secret identity, something that, having established she’s a huge superhero comic fan, she should know the repercussions of. Endangerment of self, friends, and family in the face of a very dangerous super villain. It continues to prove where Alya’s priorities are.

But I actually want to make something clear: Being a bad journalist is not something I hate Alya for. She’s a young, immature girl. She’s wrapped in the excitement of magic and superheroes and is riding the hype to it’s conclusion. It’s partially Ladybug’s fault for indulging in Alya and being biased towards her friend that Alya has the platform she has and the belief in her abilities. And Alya does put a lot of hard work into her journalism, she just needs to do more growing and get a better understanding of what ethical journalism is.

I’m just critical of it because of the fanon warping her into this amazing journalist when she’s just a kid with no self preservation and tenacity.

The Bad Friend thing is what imagine you mostly came here for. And I want to make it clear here as well: I don’t think Alya is a terrible friend. Most of the time I don’t think she’s even a bad friend. But what happened in Volpina, Heroes Day, and Chameleon hit me in a bad way.

In Volpina, we see Marinette express concern about Lila hanging over Adrien and Alya dismisses her to gush over her blog.

I didn’t have a problem with this when it first came out. Marinette knows Lila is a liar only because she is Ladybug and so she knows Lila is lying in her interview. Marinette has a problem with liars AND a jealousy problem that has gone unchecked by Volpina. But from Alya’s perspective, Marinette is being unreasonably possessive and is prone to over reacting. She has no obligation to interfere with Adrien and Lila just because Marinette is feeling territorial.

This only becomes an issue in addition to the other two episodes.

In Heroes Day we get this gem of a line, which is really irritating, esPECIALLY because as a series finale it had to come after Frozer, which proved that Marinette has made great strides in overcoming her jealousy. As her best friend, Alya should be giving Marinette the benefit of the doubt, not Lila. But instead, she doesn’t ask what Marinette’s problem is with Lila she just assumes it without opening discussion about what could be bothering her usually kind and accommodating best friend. Compound it with her dismissal of Marinette in Volpina, and I’m beginning to get weary.

But then Chameleon. Ooooooh Chameleon. Let me count the ways Alya specifically failed as a friend:

1) Kicked Marinette out if her seat without asking

2) Replaced Marinette as her seatmate with her boyfriend without asking

3) Pushing Marinette to the back row seat alone without asking

4) When Marinette claims Lila is lying, Alya asks for Marinette to prove Lila isn’t telling the truth instead of investigating if Lila is telling the truth.

5) Pulls that not apology apology that puts the blame on Marinette for getting upset about the situation.

(gif by @oui-ladybug)

That last on is subject to interpretation, but look at it closely, There’s no “I’m sorry for putting you in that situation without your consent.” No “I’m sorry for not taking your feelings into account.”

This throw away line is like someone saying “I’m sorry YOU got upset.” Like you overreacted. Like it’s your fault you got hurt.

You may say I’m reaching, and I’ll admit my interpretation is probably not a universal one. I’ve made no secret of it in past posts. I have a personal issue with how Alya acts in regard to Marinette’s feelings.

I had a best friend from the age of 5 to 20. Looking back I can find a lot of flaws in our friendship but at the time I thought it was great, mutually supportive and filled with love. Until she started dating. She had a boyfriend her last two years of high school and up to around the time we stopped being friends. She was attached at the hip to him, spending all her free time with him instead of me and bringing him to outings with us without asking me first. I tried to hide my discomfort because I had already almost lost her friendship by throwing up a fuss over her dating him - because he was my ex (first!) boyfriend. But I put my feelings aside because she was really into him and I valued our friendship more than this dumb guy. But apparently I was the only one.

Things went downhill fast when we graduated high school. She and her boyfriend stayed at home and went to a local college (no shame there) and I went to a university 3 hours away. We weren’t going to see each other near as often obviously, but we had always been very good at texting and calling each other so I wasn’t worried. But she didn’t text me anymore. She never called. All contact I had to initiate first. She never made the drive up to see me unless she needed something (she stayed at my place when she wanted to go to the Renaissance Fair nearby my college).

But what hurt most is when I would drive down to see her. I’d drive the three hours, having made plans weeks in advance to make sure it worked around our schedules, only for her to cancel last minute on me. Because she wanted to hang out with her boyfriend instead. The same boyfriend she saw LITERALLY everyday. And it happened multiple times.

She didn’t care what I did for her. She didn’t respect my time or effort or feelings. She assumed I’d be fine with it. She assumed I wouldn’t mind or if I did I’d “get over it” like I always do (get over it as in grin and bear it). She made decisions for me and without regard to what I thought. She just wanted a cardboard cutout to call Best Friend without actually putting in any of the work.

There are plenty of other things that started to bother me about our friendship, but because this is what ultimately ended it it’s what bothers me the most. So I take personal offense with Alya making assumptions about Marinette’s feelings and justifications without asking. I have issues with Alya making decisions for Marinette without asking. And I especially have issues with Alya choosing her boyfriend over her best friend because that hits me personally.

I know Chameleon was OOc for the characters…for MOST of the characters. But Alya? This has been building up. It’s not the first time. It’s just the most egregious time.

And a bonus it’s really annoying that Alya assumes Marinette is crazy jealous when a few of Marinette’s craziest moments are a result of Alya’s insistence or pushing OR Alya tries to steer her away from making mature decisions.

Marinette stealing Adrien’s phone?

Marinette making an elaborate scheme to separate Adrien from his bodyguard to go on a date with him?

Marinette tries to be realistic and help Adrien on his date while simultaneously letting him go?

Alya was one of those cases where one event made me think back really hard about her role as Marinette’s best friend and just what kind of hand she’s had in shaping Marinette’s behavior, and honestly? She’s not the amazing friend I remembered her as in Season 1. Which sucks! Because I lOVEd Alya. A sassy mom friend who takes no shit and gets shit done? A gorgeous POC that pushed her friend to make things happen for herself?! Yes please!

So I still hate on Chameleon, not just for the episode, but for the wakeup call I DIDN’t ask for!!

p.s. the reason I’m still salting on it is because the episode totally failed to resolve Alya’s issues in this episode. i.e. being a hypocrite.

#alya salt #ml salt #my opinion #ask zoe #ml #miraculous ladybug

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hollyhomburg · 5 years

Text

Emergency Contact (PJM)

(Wrecked Pt.2) ( Part One)

Summary: Months after your break up, Jimin gets a call from you. Why are you passed out at a bar alone? And why is Jimin still listed as your emergency contact?

Tags: Pining, Alcohol, Vomiting, mentions of emotional infidelity,

W/c: 3.8K

A/n: I’ve been a little out of sorts recently; this might be the first thing I release for a little while. I have a lot of stuff that still needs to be edited and put out, but I think I might need to take a short break from being so active. Shouldn’t take more than a week though! Just need to get myself on track!

also, I got a little fed up with people not reading my works because the first part wasn’t linked! I don't know if this will pop up in the search results but idgaf anymore! please consider reblogging this more than liking because I still want people to see my work but want to make it easier for them to read!

Jimin is just about to fall asleep after a long day of practice when he gets the call. The one he always wanted to get and the one he never expected to come. He sees your name and picks it up instantly, fumbling for his phone in his covers, suddenly out of breath though he’s been lying down for at least 5 minutes.

“Y/n” he breathes your name like a prayer- like it’s very utterance will shatter the illusion and plunge the moment into dreamland. How many times has the exact same thing happened to him in his dreams?

“Uhm no?” an unfamiliar male voice says. “Is this Jimin?”

“Is this Woojin?” Jimin replies uneasily, remembering your boyfriend's name from the countless times he’d stalked him on social media after Seokjin’s initial prodding.

Seokjin and Taehyung had convinced to do it, even if it feels too much like stalking for jimin to agree with. ‘don't you want to know what you’re up against?’ Taehyung had asked him, finally making Jimin cave. And I mean maybe Jimin was just being petty but your new boyfriend wasn’t even cute. though he was taller than Jimin- but that's beside the point.

Jimin pushes his own insecurity and pushes himself up off the bed. drowned out music filters through the phone muffling their reply to the point where jimin can't understand them beyond a frustrated sigh.

“I’m sorry what did you say?” it’s now been two months since you started dating Woojin. Jimin has only just gotten back to Korea and settled in after a tour. No more plans in his future besides a distant but looming comeback. He’d been unable to act yet on his desire to win you back, or even make a concrete plan no matter seokjin and Taehyung’s urgings.

“Uhm no…to be honest…I found the owner of this phone, Y/n right? almost passed out at the club I bartend at, you were her emergency contact. normally we’d just put her in a cab but-” the man sighs, “it’s my first day on the job and her phone was unlocked so I thought I’d give it a try.” Jimin’s heart jumps with concern and sudden dread, Jimin is already pulling on a sweatshirt and a facemask to cover his identity by the time the bartender is finishing his speech.

“Thank you for calling me and not doing that. I’ll come to get her, what is the name of the bar?”

The ride there is longer than Jimin anticipates, and he taps his hands against the steering wheel of his car while he waits in traffic (the car is expensive and freshly purchased after their promotional video at a serious discount). He parks the car on the curb and gets out to a few gawking faces that he equates to his expensive car ( freshly purchased after their promotional video at a serious discount) And not a breach of his identity as he rushes to the bouncers cutting the line, but they let him through once he explains the situation, one of them guiding him to you.

A young looking black-haired man is sighing as you slouch in a leather booth- looking far too underdressed for this sort of club. “Will you at least drink some water?” he says aggravatedly.

You giggle and boop him on the nose, “nope- I want vodka.” the bartender resists the urge to slap your hand away. Jimin knows why knows it’s hard to be upset at someone so cute and charismatic as you. He can even see the anger deflating from his shoulders with an aggravated sigh.

Jimin remembers the first night you ever met, at a ritzy party at a rooftop bar in Gangnam that Taehyung and Jungkook had made him go too. Taehyung was always making foreign friends with expensive connections. Not that they really were wanting for anything, but Taehyung and Jungkook liked getting out into the party scene as a distraction from their busy schedules.

He remembers sneaking out onto a closed balcony after Taehyung tried to make him play a new stupid American drinking game. Only to find it already occupied. Someone was playing a pop song over the speakers and Jimin had indulged in your voice for a moment as you sang along to the song.

“With a voice like that-”, he commented when your last note faded, your head whipped around to see who had overheard you, “-You could be an idol,” Jimin remembers thinking how cute you looked with your blushing cheeks, so put out to be caught singing by a stranger.

“Are you kidding me?” You say scandalized, as Jimin leans over the edge of the balcony and tries to be casual as he blatantly admires you. he waits to be chastised unintentionally, by your admission of knowing his identity. to have you say, oh my god famous Park Jimin thinks I could be an idol and the illusion of normalcy be shattered. but instead, you snort, raising an eyebrow at the incredibly hot stranger over the lip of your drink. “I could never lose enough weight to be even considered by an agency.”

You’d both been suitably plied with alcohol that evening, as you both stayed out on that balcony all night instead of going back into the private party. Sitting next to you against the railing, looking out over the rooftops of Seoul, often finding himself looking at your smile over the glittering lights. The truth had come out later that evening when one of your friends had opened the door hiding Jimin behind it but almost squishing him too.

“Oh my god Y/n, I didn’t bring you to this part to sulk about Mark, you have to come- those K-pop guys are doing one of their dances, no idea where the other one went- but the youngest one is the cutest.”

“I’ll be there in a second.” You said, when she closed the door, you’d been raising your eye at Jimin. “The other one huh?”

“Mark huh?” Jimin had parried effortlessly.

“He’s just my ex.” You say, shriveling your nose as you took a sip of your glass. “Those guys in there?” Jimin grimaces and downs the last of his drink.

“They’re my group members.” you don't ask him again about being an idol. though in the relationship that follows you become more than accustomed to the other boys, his family, who were your friends by extension.

Jimin and you had left soon after that, piling into a taxicab, you leaned your head on the seat and looked in his direction and he’d mirrored you. Sometimes when I’m in a taxi I close my eyes and pretend I’m rushing somewhere fantastic in some sort of ship.” You say giggling, your words ringing out something musical, but drunk and undescribably fantastic. Jimin had nodded along rapt with the way you were talking, low and tired.

“Come on,” you tugged at his arm, “pretend with me” your hand stays intertwined with his on the middle seat of the taxi, slotting into his feeling absolutely perfect and Jimin had found himself unable to look away from you at all, unable to close his eyes for even a second transfixed with the sight of your head tipped back against the seat, your soft smile, eyes closed, eyelashes pillowed against your cheek.

Jimin had felt what you felt like you were rushing towards something fantastic and awe-inspiring, but something different than a place. A feeling that was all of that, but so much more: like the warmth spiking on his tongue from cinnamon in fireball and kind of like something molten and golden filling him. Different than the exultation of being on stage but twice as hot, and slower acting like syrup through his veins, but savored none the less, addictive in its sweetness.

He’d felt that, but only after he leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours, softly parted under his own in surprise, tasting like champagne and vanilla lip balm. Sweet- So sweet and Jimin could only want more and more, even as the taxi driver cleared his throat as Jimin’s hand curled around your thigh and squeezed making you whine breathless and needy.

That one night stand had turned into coffee and breakfast. Which turned into a date, and then another, and then many more before Jimin had finally made you his. Many more drunken nights, days spent in bliss in your arms, No matter how hung-over you were.

You’d both grown up a little in your relationship and by the end of it, you had preferred to spend the nights sober in each other’s arms as opposed to slinking in some club just to make out in the bathroom. Jimin had barely been around enough to do just that by then, his crazy schedule had been a death sentence to your relationship.

Jimin has never seen you this drunk before though- you’re barely holding yourself up. You don’t get this drunk ever or at least not often.

Over the bartender’s shoulder you spot Jimin, and surprisingly you shout, “baby!” and move to throw yourself into his arms. He catches you, barely managing to get his arms under yours before you nearly fall out of the leather booth.

This is about as far as from what Jimin anticipated as possible. This reunion is so different from the one he’d imagined in his head. he always thought that maybe he’d run into you by accident at a party or at a convenience store, or bumping into you at your favorite park. And Maybe after that conversation would flourish and he’d invite you to a coffee to catch up with him.

But not this, not you in his arms again and calling him baby.

“Woojin” you babble against his ear, your hands linking around his neck. Of course, this is just his luck, you’re so drunk that you can’t even recognize Jimin- it’s obvious that you think Jimin is your current boyfriend. Jimin tells himself not to be hurt, to just appreciate having you in his arms again after so long spent apart. He swallows down the disappointment because he wishes you were that happy to see him.

You pull yourself out of the booth far enough almost falling forward. The bartender sends a scalding look Jimin’s way. he makes himself scarce before Jimin can even thank him. “Let's get you home.” Jimin hauls you up onto your feet but you sink further into his arms, for all intents and purposes you seem not to have heard him. Jimin Grabs your jacket and shoving your keys and wallet into the pocket of his coat.

You talk on, not realizing that the arms around you are not the arms of your current boyfriends but the arms of your ex. “I know you’re mad at me because I said I was still in love with my Ex but I promise- I promise I’m really really gonna try to get over him this time.”

Jimin freezes, in the middle of a crowded club somewhere in Hongdae. The words freezing the muted annoyance in his belly like Novocain. Jimin feels numb; hope claws it’s way through his chest, a desperate animal nearly dead but suddenly thriving. “What was your ex’s name again?” his voice shakes, even as he half carries you through the club, the roiling bodies dancing drunkenly, the lights flashing low and red.

“You know,” you say with a hushed voice, as Jimin stops for a moment before pulling his mask up around his face and getting his keys out propping you up against a wall before he continues walking you out of the crowded club “he’s the idol, Park Jimin.” Jimin stumbles almost losing grip on you as his feet hit the side of the curb, his heart is stuttering out an uneven choppy rhythm as his head rings with your words.

Still, in love, idol, Park Jimin, me, she’s still in love with me, he barely manages to grab onto you, swinging you to a stop pressed against him right in front of his car.

You look up at him, and he sees real recognition run in your face, “I think I’m going to be sick” you say, and Jimin can just tilt you against his car (to prevent you from vomiting on his shoes) and hold back your hair like a makeshift ponytail, before you lean against the side of his car and vomit over his wheel well.

“Shit,” Jimin curses, one hand going around your shoulders, he didn't realize you were that wasted, he’s never seen you this drunk before. Even now, the weight of your body against his is something supple and sublime, it doesn’t matter that you’re vomiting on his car- just that you still love him, maybe you never stopped loving him.

When you’re done vomiting you sway, and Jimin has to stoop to catch you so that you don’t fall against the concrete. “Hey hey hey- don’t pass out on me,” your eyes roll a little but then you come back again more lucid. Jimin manages to open the car door while supporting you with one shoulder before he lifts you into his car and buckles you in.

“Why are you being so sweet to me W-Woojin.” You bop Jimin on the nose, and he smiles, despite the fact that you might (definitely do) have a little bit of vomit in some of the hair in front of your face. Jimin must have missed when he was trying to make sure you didn’t vomit over yourself. But while it should be disgusting, it just warms Jimin’s heart to lean over and use a tissue to wipe it away, because he gets the chance to take care of you again.

“I’m always sweet to you Y/n and I think you know by now that I’m not Woojin.” Your breath hitches and you look over at Jimin with wide eyes as he pulls away from the curb.

“Jimin I-“ you rush to cover your mouth with your hand, it makes sense that you would be wordless when confronted by him. He knows you probably didn't mean to admit your secret to Jimin of all people- but you did and those words can't be taken back. But then he looks at your face, your pale cheeks, holding your stomach, and he realizes it’s just another wave of nausea. “Can you open the window I think I’m going to vomit again.” You dry heave out the side of Jimin’s car but don’t actually vomit, which is good- It means that you’ve gotten all of the alcohol out of your system.

You tilt your head a little outside of the window, good to feel the breeze on your sweaty face and Jimin turns the heat on high so that you stop shivering. He can’t stop staring at you, leaning out the window, your eyes closed, so much like the first night, you met him. And now here you are more than 2 years later, and on the precipice of something else, something completely different. your chest rises softly and your body goes limp with sleep. Jimin lets you drift off as he drives. Unable to stop himself from looking over you at every stop light.

He’s upset that he has to wake you up when you finally arrive at your apartment but he tries to avoid it. he hopes that you haven’t changed the code for your front door. Miraculously you haven’t but you wake anyway when he kicks the door open too hard and it slams against your opposite wall. “you can put me down you know” you murmur against his leather jacket. Jimin startles, smiling down at you as he pushes your door closed with his foot.

Jimin sets you down waiting for you to sway but the short nap you took and the vomiting seemed to have sobered you up. “Jimin you didn’t have too- like come get me I could have handled it.” Jimin just shakes his head and goes to get you a glass of water, passing it off to you before getting his own.

“I wasn’t just going to let them put you in a cab Y/n,” and you almost try to argue, but you know they would have. You sway and catch yourself against the counter, and Jimin’s already there, picking you up again, “let's get you to bed.”

“Sorry, you had to deal with me like this.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, the hangover you have tomorrow will be punishment enough” Jimin deposits you on your bed, it’s still the same queen you had and probably the same bed that Jimin would make love to you on. He doesn’t let his mind linger long on the memories he has of your room, a different color now, but the bedspread is that same muted off white.

The coffee stain near the lip is from when Jimin tried to bring you coffee in bed. you’d spilled it after he accidentally discovered you where ticklish across your stomach. A spot he’d routinely abused for the rest of your relationship. seeing it there. the evidence of him still in your life makes him hope for things he shouldn't be wanting anymore. Not when he treated you like he did in your relationship.

Maybe Jimin is selfish because even though he knows you needed better than what he could give you then, he still wants this. He still wants to be the one set as your emergency contact and Wants to be in your life even if it means being the one who has to clean the vomit out of your hair. Now that he knows how wrecked he is without you- he’s willing to do more to keep you- he’s willing to try. before he’d thought that maybe it’s was too late to win you back, but after hearing your words tonight he’s not as sure.

He tucks you under those sheets now, and slips off your knee-high boots, tugging them off your calf’s and giving the muscle there a short squeeze. You make a noise in the back of your throat and he does it again, and more with the other leg. You seem content to lie there and fall asleep but Jimin doesn’t let you, his hand tilting your face away from your pillow, producing a makeup wipe from your bedside table.

“Come on you hate waking up with makeup on” you make a surprised noise, your eyes not opening as you let Jimin take off your makeup.

“You always did such a good job of caring for me.” You murmur hushes as Jimin wipes over your eyelids. Apparently, you’re not as sober as Jimin initially thought.

“When I was around you mean,” Jimin says harshly, his anger directed at himself, making you fall silent and open your eyes a little before you close them so Jimin can finish taking off your eye makeup. Jimin finishes studying your face, your breath evening out and your eyes closed. He smiles softly, turns you on your side so that if you pass out you won’t choke on your own vomit and shuts the lights off on his way out.

He gets a spare pillow and a blanket from the cupboard where you keep them and makes your wide couch, it’s the only thing that’s noticeably different in your apartment from what he remembers. It’s a lot longer than the old thread bear couch you and Jimin used to make out on while you pretended to watch TV so he can stretch out completely instead of crunching up.

The lights from a passing car cast shadows on the wall periodically as Jimin tries to sleep but he can’t, your words play over and over in his head keeping him awake like a song stuck on repeat. “I’m still in love with my ex, the idol Park Jimin,” Jimin can’t breath around the emotions growing like weeds in his chest, and as much as Jimin tries not to name them, they feel a lot like hope.

Jimin wakes when it’s probably far into the next day- only getting a few hours of sleep after his eyelids finally dragged him mind down but he feels like he’s barely closed his eyes. Thank god you didn’t choke on your own vomit in your sleep because Jimin’s not sure he would have woken up for anything short of you dropping a pan in the kitchen adjacent to your living room. which it sounds like you did just do when he leans up and watches you slouch to pick it up with Your back turned to him.

“Morn-“ but you let out a shrill shriek, wiping around, your pan clutched in your hands like a weapon as Jimin yawns, stands, and stretches.

“Jesus Jimin you scared me. What the hell are you still doing here anyway?”

“What do you mean,” Jimin says, standing up and helping himself to your coffee maker. He scratches his stomach, lifting up a little bit of his shirt. He catches you looking at his chest before your gaze flits away, the coffee maker gurgles as it turns on, sending you through the awkward silence.

“I thought that after last night you would have cleared off.”

“I wasn’t just gonna go- you know I’m not like that,” Jimin says, still looking at you as you busy yourself getting some eggs out of the fridge, he remembers how you used to tell him to stop staring at you when he would watch you in the mornings, his hair all messed over his forehead and his eyes puffy. “And besides I thought we could talk about last night.”

“What’s there to talk about?” Jimin shakes his head, not letting you get away with it.

“Don't try to pull that shit right now. I know you remember what you said to me.”

“What If I say I don’t, and I’ll make you breakfast for a thank you, and then we can go back to our lives like before” Jimin shakes his head, taking the carton of eggs from you and putting them on the counter.

“I don’t want that- and judging by what you said you don’t want that either.”

“Jimin, I’m in a relationship. I’ve moved on.” You stress the words, trying to take the eggs back but he holds them out of your reach. Now that he has you close, looking conflicted and sleep-addled in your kitchen, in the kitchen where he fell in love with you. Really your entire apartment was where he’d fallen in love with you.

It was your sleepy little hideaway, the hideaway from Jimin’s real life. But really- he’d never been more himself than the version he was with you, which was why the last few months had been so hard. He’d been missing apart of himself and here it was trying to grab the eggs out of his hands.

“Y/n- don’t tell me that, don’t lie,” Jimin says lowly like a curse, and your gaze flickers down to his, and you take in how you are, almost pressed to him in the midday light of your kitchen. Too close to his chest.

You try to turn away but Jimin catches your hand. “Jimin,” you say, his name a warning, but he continues before you can.

“Don’t tell me that you don’t still feel what I feel Y/n” Jimin says, holding your hand against his chest, trapping it there so that you can feel his heart beat unevenly against your palm. “I still care about you, I still want to make it work, and I promise you with everything I’ve got that I will try harder, be better, and put you first this time if you only let me. If you only give me one more chance”

Jimin barely processes the hot tears rippling down his cheeks, his lips bitten and red from the night he spent lying awake. “I still love you, I love you so much, I need you in my life, and I know that now more than I did before, I’ve lived without you and I don’t- please don’t make me go back to that. Don't make me hope for it and then tear that hope away.”

“Do you regret it?” you ask softly, biting your lip as a tear catches on the curve of your lower lip. jimin imagines kissing the salt off of them, licking into your mouth and pressing you against the counter, the image hitting him so hard that he was to forcefully restrain himself from actually doing it. Jimin is soothed, even though he knows he shouldn’t be, to see you as conflicted as he is.

“Do I regret how I treated you?” Jimin lifts your fist to his face and punctuating every word with a kiss to your knuckles. “Every. Single. damn. day.” your mouth opens once then closes as you're lost for words. “I know I don’t deserve another chance, not by a long shot, and that you’ve already given me so many, but if you walk away from us now, that’s on you this time. I’m here. And I’m ready to give you my all.” Jimin resists tugging you back when you withdraw your hand from his hold.

He resists letting it go. his heart collapses in on its self, it feels like a burning star collapsing into a black hole as you put on your jacket and grab your keys. Jimin swallows; see’s your mouth open once and then again, as you press back to him.

Your arms feel like a battering ram, as they wrap around Jimin, clutching him to you, harsh and quick. The hug just as fleeting at the brush of your lips against his collarbones that makes him jump. Your hands are hard as you cup his cheeks in your hands, you look up at him, fainting a small smile blinking away tears as your fingers pushing away his.

He wants to kiss you so so badly- but he won’t when you’re not his, he doesn’t know what this means, that tender and judging look in your eyes as they flick over Jimin’s face, not saying anything.

“Y/n” Jimin pleads unable to handle the closeness for much longer without acting.

“Just Stay right here, I need to go talk to Woojin- but please,” you head towards the door but can’t resist turning back to him to look, to drink him in standing in your kitchen again. You almost fall over trying to put on your shoes while you look at him. “Please don’t go anywhere.” Jimin swallows back something that feels too much like disappointment to feel good, and nods.

“Here” He agrees, watching as your large jacket bunches around your wrists. He tosses you his set of keys to his car. “You left your car at the bar last night- take mine.”

You wrap Jimin’s keys around your fingers and your smile is a little bit heartbreaking, as you smile back and say “Okay.” looking back at him once more before you leave.

It’s been a few months since Jimin was in your apartment but he still knows your system well enough to find some cereal and some milk for breakfast. He waits around for an hour watching some news and lounging on his mock bed on your couch. Trying to distract himself from where he is, where you are, and what he hopes you’re doing right now.

He makes it through half an episode of some reality tv show before some mid-morning drowsiness and tiredness from the night make his eyes slide closed.

When he wakes from his nap, his first indication to the fact that you’re home is the fact that the tv is off. You're sitting on the other end of the couch as Jimin straightens up. Your head is tipped back against the edge of the couch, your eyes are red-rimmed from crying and you don't respond when he says your name.

“Are you okay?“ Jimin cuts off, he wants to reach out and pull you into his arms. Your hand tips down and drops his keys against the couch your hand falls open. Jimin reaches out, lacing his fingers slowly with yours. giving you the chance to pull away. It takes a second but then you’re gripping Jimin’s hand like you’re afraid he’s the one who’s going to let go. You open your eyes, your gaze sliding to his.

“It wasn’t easy, none of this is easy” you stress, “but yeah… I broke up with Woojin.”

#park jimin #bts #park jimin x reader #bts fluff #bts angst #jimin x reader #bangtan sonyeodan #bangtan boys #bts scenarios #bts reactions #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts one-shot #or two-shot #bts imagines

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