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objectumnonsense · 6 months

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robot oneshot, as requested VwV

The lab was dark, save for the dim neon light filtering in through the curtains and a singular work lamp in the corner of the room. Every few minutes, a train passed overhead, making the ceiling groan with the weight, but it was otherwise quiet. The lab's only two occupants sat without speaking, one in maintenance mode on a table and the other wearing thick, elbow-length rubber gloves and wielding a variety of delicate tools.

The Mechanic worked diligently and in near silence, save for softly humming a tune and occasionally blowing their hair out of their face while they worked on SN-0407-67. The only sounds coming from 67 were the hum of its fans and the occasional buzz of a wire being put in the wrong place, quickly corrected by the Mechanic.

After about half an hour, the Mechanic said, in a voice rough with disuse, "Exit maintenance mode," and a line of small lights blinked to life on the back of 67's neck. Its shutters flicked open and it turned its head right around to face the Mechanic.

"Is there a problem?" it buzzed.

"Well, I don't wanna catastrophize, but I'm lookin' through your lower back complex and I'm seein' some stuff that looks an awful lot like buzz bug eggs. Can you run a diagnostics check for me real quick?"

"Affirmative." In a blink of its shutters, it received data from all of its main systems and most of its secondary and tertiary programs and responded.

"Small loop errors in primary memory arrays. Minimal damage to recursive power wiring. Buzz bugs may be a possibility. Suggestion: analyze sample of offending material."

"Will do. Wanna go back to sleep?"

"Negative. We are almost done, correct?"

"If this don't turn out to be an infestation, yeah. What's got you so eager to leave?"

"Nothing. I simply do not enjoy being in maintenance mode for extended periods of time."

"Oh? Why's that?"

67 turned back around and allowed the Mechanic to pry open its back panel and delicately reach through its wiring with a pair of tweezers.

"I dislike being unaware of my surroundings for so long. It is against my purpose."

"It's necessary though, ain't it?"

"As is sleeping. But you are avoiding that now."

"Fair 'nuff."

The silence returned for a few minutes. The Mechanic extricated some pieces of material from 67's wiring and the gaps in their chassis while it sat perfectly still and nearly silent.

Abruptly, a small yellow light on their shoulder lit up and they said, "Your heart rate and breathing have increased."

"Huh?"

"Are you in distress? Is the infestation worse than you expected?"

"Oh, no, nothin' like that. If this is buzz bugs, we caught 'em real early. I could probably get all of this outta you before dawn."

"That is good."

They continued without speaking for a few moments more, the yellow light still turning on and off rhythmically, before 67 spoke up again.

"Your heart rate has not decreased."

"And I suppose I can't ask you to ignore that?"

"Negative. It is against my purpose."

"Right. First aid robot."

The Mechanic pursed their lips and tried to continue their work, but 67 kept talking.

"You hands are shaking slightly. Allow me to check your blood sugar content."

Before the Mechanic could respond, 67 had already completed the check.

"Blood sugar content within healthy range. Brain scan indicates higher than normal levels of oxytocin. Heart rate and breathing rate are increased, but have plateaued."

"Can't keep anythin' secret from you, huh?"

"Negative. You have poor control over your responses to emotion."

"Well, can't say I didn't try."

"Correct. You are still avoiding telling me the reason for your heightened emotional state."

"Would it hurt so bad to let this one go unmentioned?"

"A key to maintaining healthy relationships is communication between constituents. I am curious why you are acting differently."

"It's... complicated. It's a human thing."

"Mechanic, "human things" are my area of expertise. I will understand whatever you tell me."

"I just..." They sighed, but set their tweezers aside and brushed their fingers along a piece of 67's circuitry. "Can you feel this? When I'm workin' on you?"

"To an extent, yes."

"And does it... hurt?"

"Not unless something is damaged. It feels almost the same as when my exterior is touched."

"Almost?"

"There is a level of... trust involved. I trust that you will not break me, you trust that I will not close myself or shock you to injure you."

"When I do this..." the Mechanic traced the column of 67's spine with their index finger, "what is that like?"

"I fail to see why you are asking me again. Did I not just explain it?"

"I know, I know, just.. tell me what you feel me doin'."

"Alright."

A moment's pause.

"I feel you touching the outer shell of my spine. It holds much of my central processing power, which is why it's covered by thick metal plating. But I know you will not try to damage it."

"And now?"

"Now you're moving towards my power cell. It's a very powerful battery, and very fragile. But you will not damage it."

"Now?"

"You're reaching up through my chest cavity towards my transform arrays. This is where most of my proprioceptive senses are processed. It's also highly sensitive to touch. But you will not damage it."

The Mechanic let out a shaky sigh. The blinking yellow light on 67's shoulder began flashing more quickly. They noticed it was in time with their heartbeat.

"Your breathing and heart rate have increased steadily. Is there something you aren't telling me?"

They abruptly pulled their hand out of 67's back and stammered an apology.

"Sorry, I'm - sorry, that - that was kinda weird. I shouldn'ta -"

"It was not unpleasant."

Their words ground to a halt and they stared at the back of 67's head.

"You... motherfucker, you knew this whole time, didn't you?"

67 made a beep that sounded like a laugh.

"Negative. I only realized when I scanned you."

The Mechanic leaned their head against 67's shoulder with a clunk.

"And I couldn't get you to delete this whole interaction from your memories?"

"Negative."

The Mechanic sighed again and leaned back, rubbing their temples.

"Well, that's about it for your checkup anyways. We should probably get goin'."

"Mechanic, I would not refuse if you wanted to take this further."

The Mechanic froze. "Whuh?"

"I do not have the capacity to feel it the same way you do. But I understand it would be enjoyable for you. My purpose, after all, is to ease suffering."

"Wh - but - I - I'm not sufferin' about it, I just -"

"Mechanic."

67 rose and walked around the table, standing very close to the Mechanic and resting a careful hand on their hip. They swallowed thickly.

"We are the only ones in here. We have time."

The Mechanic let out a nervous, breathy chuckle. They raised a hand to 67's face plate and brushed their thumb along it.

"You're amazin', you know that? Just... incredible."

"I know," 67 replied, a playful lilt in its voice. "Tell me if you want me to stop at any point."

"Alright."

67 stepped even closer so that one of its legs was between both of the Mechanic's and they had to lean back against the table. One of their hands rested on 67's shoulder and the other settled on its hip.

67 hooked a thumb over the Mechanic's waistband and tugged down. Its other hand worked its way up their shirt and cupped their chest. It leaned its head down and bonked it gently on the top of theirs.

"Was that supposed to be a kiss?"

"Affirmative."

"You're such a dork."

67 hummed. Its movements remained smooth and steady, but the Mechanic distinctly heard its cooling fans pick up when it tugged their underwear aside.

"Could it be you're enjoyin' this too, 67?" they purred, lifting the hand that was on its shoulder to the back of its head, where they brushed over some of the exposed wires there. Its lower shutter twitched upwards.

"You do look... very nice. Under me like this."

"Mmm. Kinky." They spread their legs further and gasped when 67's searching hands found their bare skin.

"Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah. It's just been a while. Go slow."

"Understood."

Gently, 67 started working its hand, and the Mechanic let out a quiet groan. They rolled their hips into 67's touch, grip tightening on its neck and making its shutter twitch again.

"Is - fuck - is that hurtin' you?" they asked.

"Negative."

"Want me to - to stop?"

"Nnegative."

At the stalling of 67's voice, the Mechanic raised an eyebrow. "Is it gettin' you off or s-something?

"N N N N - Unsure. My proproprocessor has encountered an error."

Experimentally, the Mechanic chose a wire and tugged on it - not enough to break it, but with enough force to pull it partially out of line. 67 jolted forward, making a buzzing sound the Mechanic had never heard before, and its hand dug harshly into their flesh, making them gasp.

"Arrre you alright?" it asked, stopping all motion. The Mechanic whined and pushed against its hand.

"Don't stop," they pleaded.

"One moment. I nnneed to check -"

The Mechanic tugged on the same wire again, creating the same reaction, and sighed with satisfaction.

"Memememechanic," 67 scolded, though the effect was somewhat lost due to the skipping in its voice.

"Keep goin'. I didn't tell you to stop."

"Make me."

The defiance caught the Mechanic off guard, but only for a moment. They glared up at 67.

"Y'know, you're real disobedient for a robot," they growled, finding a different wire and wrapping it around their finger. 67's shutters closed completely this time, its entire body jerking randomly for a moment before the Mechanic let the wire go again. "I thought you were s'posed to follow directions?"

"Youyouyou haven't said the magic word yet," 67 replied, though their hand had begun to move again.

"Make me cum, 67. That's an order."

"Affirmativvve."

The Mechanic cried out at the dizzying pace 67 suddenly set, hips rocking helplessly into its touch. Its name flowed from their lips like a hymn. 67 bore down on them, chest pressed to theirs, free hand supporting their back so they didn't fall.

"Yesyesyesyes, just like that, yes -!"

With a drawn-out moan, the Mechanic came hard, slumping back so that 67 had to adjust its hold on them, completely at its mercy as it kept up the harsh pace of its hand. It slowed to a stop the moment the feeling became too much and their groans of pleasure turned into whimpers.

The pair stayed like that for a moment, the Mechanic struggling to catch their breath and clinging to 67, whose fans were still going at top speed. It stared adoringly down at them, privately recording a short clip to replay later.

"Holy shit," the Mechanic finally breathed, pushing themself upward off of 67's arm. "That was... wow."

"I trust you enjoyed yourself?"

"Yeah. Jesus Christ. Are you... can I - is there anythin' I can do for you?"

"Negative. No part of me can experience anything close to sexual arousal, but I appreciate the consideration."

"So, just outta curiosity, what were the wires doin' to ya?"

That gave 67 pause.

"I'm... unsure. It's not a sensation I've ever felt before."

"Was it bad?"

"Negative. It was... novel. I'm not sure what to make of it."

"So what... would it be okay if I did it again?"

Another pause.

"...Affirmative. Please be careful."

"You know careful's my middle name."

The Mechanic lifted both of their hands and rested them on 67's neck. One slid its fingers over the exposed wires, still slightly out of place, making 67 beep and twitch.

"Why don't you try tellin' me what you feel?" they purred, finding a wire and winding it around their finger. 67 took a moment to respond, its voicebox making nonsense sounds before it could gather it to something intelligible.

"I I I I feel... dizzzzy? I think that wiwiwire has a role in proprioceptive data transfer. It's hard to to to to rrrecall at the moment."

"Mmm. And what about now?" the Mechanic asked, parting the wires and reaching deeper into 67's neck. They felt their finger make contact with cool metal, and 67 made a long, low tone until they lifted it.

"My my my my my centrrrral spinal casinnnnng. It's very sensensensitive to touch, which is is is why it's underrrrneath everything ellllse."

"You're startin' to sound pretty rough, 67."

"Hard to to to prrrocess speech at the momoment. Unsure how to parrrrse sensory dadadadata."

"Still don't want me to stop?"

"Affirrrmative. Want you you you touch furrrrther in me."

"Fuck, that's hot."

The Mechanic moved upward this time, under the plating on the back of 67's head with a muttered "keep your head down." 67's head briefly dropped limply downward, chin hitting its chest with a dull thunk, before the Mechanic hastily removed their hand and it looked back up at them.

"Why did you you stop?"

"That wasn't bad?"

"Negative. Want morrre."

"Oh, I see how it is." They resumed their probing, 67's head falling again, its voice struggling to express exactly what it was feeling.

"Hannnds in my in me touch ch ch ch mind feel I feel your hands," it managed, and the Mechanic bit their lip, looking up at it with adoration in their eyes.

"God, you sound fuckin' wrecked. I wish I knew I could do this to you sooner," they confessed. 67's optic flickered.

"Want want hands want touch morrre so so so much so want want want wannnnnnt -"

Abruptly, its voice dropped so low it was almost a buzz, its optic blinking out, hands in a vise grip on the Mechanic's hips while the lights on its body turned off all at once. Its fans continued on high for a moment more before they lowered to a more normal level and a noise like a dial-up played.

"Shit."

The Mechanic waited nervously while 67 rebooted, slowly releasing their hips before its optic blinked back to life, immediately zeroing in on them.

"Are you okay? Did I touch something I shouldn't've?"

"Negative. I am still processing. Please give me a moment."

After a second or two, 67 spoke again.

"Last sensation recorded before shutdown: foreign object inside cranial casing. Pressure applied to central tactile nerve. Systems overwhelmed." It blinked. "No memory lost. I am in no pain."

"So that tactile nerve thing -"

"I felt... everything. It's hard to explain."

"I think I get it. Don't worry."

"It was... good. I felt good. I would like to do this again sometime."

"Is right now a good sometime? 'Cause that was fuckin' hot."

67's optic widened slightly, disbelief creeping into its voice.

"Causing a temporary shutdown... made you aroused again?"

"It was more like making you get there. But yeah."

"Interesting. In that case..."

67 opened the maintenance panel on its chest, exposing a crisscrossing maze of wires and circuits to the Mechanic, who practically drooled.

"Help yourself to me."

#ty for your patience!#lmk what you thought... i havent really written anything creative in like four years '^^#nsft writing #wireplay #robophilia

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cerastes · 7 months

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Hey. It's been a while. I think it's right to update you on stuff so tl;dr I'm probably not going to be around for some time, and if I am, it'll be in a diminished capacity, but if you're interested, do check under the cut. I'll also immediately state that I am not in any dangerous situation, it's other stuff, but I'll immediately dispel that before the cut just in case you just wanted to know that in particular.

Let's talk for a bit.

Long story short, the economy here is in shambles. The idea was for me to already have a new job, but that's not gone according to plan. I've been eating into my savings for a while now, and the people that told me that I had a job lined up for me September or at the latest October, meaning, this month, have been ghosting me. It seems to not be an option anymore, and no explanation was ever given to me. A shame, because it came from a place of relative trust.

This has eaten away at my nerves somewhat, and though it is the month of my birthday, I can't help but notice that, between the economy being this bad here, how hard it's been to land another job, and the fact that I'm eating into my savings, well, it's got me more than a bit worried. I'm not in any immediate danger of losing the roof over my head, or starving, or anything like that, but after a few months of "well, my savings take yet another hit this month with no end in sight", it's been rather rough, you'll understand, and it's compounded a bit. For just a second, and not as a primary, secondary, or even tertiary plan, more like a twenty-eighth measure if anything, I did entertain the dark idea of maybe asking for a bit of help here, and the moment that thought came up, I realized, "Ok, this is truly and well affecting me, I never want to do that", because, again, it's not like I'm in any immediate danger of homelessness or anything that grave, but it's been weighting on me enough that, even as a distant glint in the horizon of an idea, I did consider it. I don't want to sound like I'm blowing my own horn here, but for over a decade that I've had this blog, and the community/following/whatever you want to call it that has grown around it, I've never once asked for something like monetary help, because I think that can be a slippery slope. I've seen people far bigger than me, and some smaller, too, get addicted to asking for donations or help, or simply start taking it for granted when they ask for such a thing. My friends will tell you I writhe in agony when I receive a gift such as a game or something over the mail. My logic is that I don't need it, not in a proud way, but rather, in a "I wish you would spend this money on yourself instead, or on someone that truly needed it". With this in mind, I realized that, for me to even slightly consider that as an option, for the first time in my life, it meant that it was biting away at me far, far more severely than I thought. It's translated to other parts of my life as of late; I've not been depressed or anything, but I've felt this itch, this remarkably implacable feeling of "my man, you don't deserve to be taking it easy right now, something has to change, progress needs to be made".

I went out to wander for a few days, then arrived at my cousin's farm. He and his wife live a humble, hard working life, he invited me to stay for a while, I accepted, it was real nice, we hanged out, went exploring creeks and mountainsides while knocking back a few beers, the whole shebang for two guys that grew up in the middle of nowhere. Anyhow, it's true that the whole exposition that was the previous paragraph is something at play, but I also just... Haven't really wanted to be online at all. I don't want to check anything, read anything, and I feel a deep sense of alienation that I've not really felt in a long time. I suppose this is one of those good ol' Bro Is Going Through It, if we're to summarize it in a few words. It's easy for me to dispel negative thoughts and bounce back normally, because I've done a great deal of personal building and homework on knowing myself inside out, but not even this black belt in Drimobrain has helped this time around, and well, it bothers me, obviously, bwahaha. It's the first time in a few years that I really sincerely do not understand what's up with me, and while it's not really something I would consider me being rock bottom or anywhere near those depths, I do think I'm still below surface level, which is something I don't admit to easily, but have no choice to. I would love to be able to give this malaise shape and firmness through written or spoken word, but right now, it's a work in progress.

What bothers me the most is the sense of alienation I spoke of before: It makes no sense for me to feel this way, I'm treated with love and kindness every day, no one's silencing me in any way, I don't deal with barbs or hostility. So why is it that that's how I feel? Or perhaps it's something that feels similar, but I've no clue what it is, so I'm compounding it with alienation?

Regardless, it's all compounded into me just... Not wanting to be online. In the words of a friend of mine, "Dreamer has a fetish for self-development and growth", and, well, yeah, she's got that right despite the wording, I like to feel as if I'm improving every day and becoming better every day, even if slightly, and right now I feel like I'm just degenerating. Is it because my mood has been sour overall? Maybe. It might as well just be the fact that I Just Don't Want To Be Online For A While, and capricious clown that I am, if I want to do something, I do it, and if I don't want to do something, I don't do it. I'm tied to nothing and no one except my desire and drive to do or not do things. I can't change that, nor do I want to change that. And in this case, my heart's said to me, "fuck going online, go out, do things, try to get a job".

I also almost got recruited into something fucking vile that I thankfully noticed in time to avoid, but that's a story for another time.

There you have it. Am I leaving the internet/blue website forever? No, of course not, I like it here. Are things hard right now? They are, to be honest. Are they the worst it could be? Not at all. Do I have complete clarity of what's up with this fog inside of my head? No, and that bother me quite a bit. Are things going to be alright? Yeah, I think they will be.

I do regret it's in October of all months that this is going on, because it's where my shitposting power is at its apex due to my birthday, but hey, things happen, not necessarily for a reason, but they can be handled in such a way that it gives them meaning. I'm a fervent believer in that. I'm sorry this isn't the update you may have been hoping for, full of Lucina cosplayer blowjobs and other such hijinks, but hey, they can't all be Rainbow Road, haha.

So in case we don't see each other for a while, I hope you're all doing fine and dandy. I'm alive, I'm trying to be well, and most importantly, most fundamentally, most quintessentially,

I stay silly.

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heich0e · 6 months

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Trick or treat!! :3 may I come to you humbly asking about choso… have a lovely night Liv!

happy halloween to u both!! he is the greatest treat of all <3

"We don't have to watch this, you know."

At the other end of the sofa, Choso sits incredibly stiffly. He's as close to the edge of his seat as he could possibly be, his knees very nearly knocking against the edge of the coffee table which sits in the centre of your living room—poised halfway between the couch and your television, which is currently a mere twenty minutes into the horror movie the two of you had decided to sit down and watch that evening.

Well, maybe saying the two of you decided is a bit generous; but when you had suggested it—having heard nothing but rave reviews about it from one of your coworkers a few days prior—Choso had obliged you without question.

"No," Choso replies, his voice a little strained. He peeks over at you from the corner of his eye, his lips curling up in an unconvincing little smile. His eyes return back to the screen where one of the tertiary characters is in the process of being brutally slain. "It's alright. I'm... enjoying it."

But perhaps therein the issue lies.

Choso always obliges you. And now, you recognize it may be to his own detriment.

"Choso," you call to him softly, and he peeks over at you again. Your living room is dark save for the cool blue light from the television screen, and it bathes him in a gentle, almost ethereal glow. You push yourself up on your hands and knees, creeping down to the other end of the couch towards him. He welcomes your intrusion without any reservation, effortlessly accommodating the way you curl into his side and toss your legs into his lap so they drape over his own.

Another nameless character on the screen meets their bloody demise, but this time Choso doesn't stifle a flinch—his attention is on you.

"It's kinda scary," you say, letting your lip jut out just enough that it doesn't seem overly feigned. You scrunch up your nose and then lean further into him, burying your face in the collar of his hoodie. You mumble a quiet, I don't think I like this, into the fabric for good measure.

Choso's hand creeps upwards, his thumb tracing a delicate shape into your skin as his sweeps his palm along your back comfortingly. You grip the material of his sweatshirt in your fist as you turn your body into his just a little bit more, practically chest-to-chest and straddling one of his strong thighs now as he holds you.

When you peek up towards him, lifting your face from the crook of his neck, you see the way his lips are parted and glossy—like his tongue only just laved across them—and his dark eyes are fixed raptly to you.

"You were so excited about watching this, though," he murmurs softly, his deep voice reverberating through his chest and into yours, and the sound makes something kindle in the pit of your stomach. His lashes flutter in a blink, and you inch a bit closer to him unconsciously until your lips are almost level with his own.

"Yeah," you sigh the word softly, and Choso inhales responsively as if to share the breath. You use your grip on his hoodie to pull yourself a bit more firmly against him, a subtle but intentional roll of your hips that makes the highest points of his cheeks stain in a pretty pink blush that's stark in contrast to the television's blue light. "But there are other things I'm excited about too, y'know."

(@antique-remains)

#liv got mail #trick or treat!!#divider credit @djarrex

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project-sekai-facts · 7 months

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Is it me or are the new outfits simpler? Like old ones had a lot of tiny useless details all around, the new ones look "cleaner" in comparison. It's not bad I kinda like it but it definitely feels weird

Before we start I just wanna say that I kinda critically analysed the costume designs instead of you know. just talking about the details. cool here we go

Yeah aside from VBS they all feel so. Plain, I guess? MMJ’s outfits probably the worst instance, imo they felt more same-y than before and I get they’re an idol unit so they were gonna be uniform but there’s something off. It’s the blue, I get that it’s probably a nod to the blue penlights, but using green or their respective image colors would’ve been better I think. You can barely even see Haruka or Shizuku's image colors on the skirts. Honestly I don’t think the accessories are that bad, they’re pretty cute and fit the group, though the costume being so plain outside of them just makes it look like there should be more. the thing is the outfits aren't the same, they have different skirts and shirts like the original it's just the fact that they all have the same color scheme and similar-enough accessories that it makes the differences less noticable. their image colors should've been the primary or secondary color not the tertiary color.

Leo/need I can get being more uniform, it goes with their whole thing, and I liked how there’s still a lot of details to differentiate them and give them personality. Honestly their original color scheme was pretty basic but making their image colors the secondary colors instead of of the primary colors of their outfit? it just wasn't it. honestly it wouldn't be too bad if the grey wasn't such an ugly color it looks really bad. if they'd gone with black or a much darker grey for the blazers it would've looked so much better and made the accents stand out more. also, the lack of accessories... i get they're more "professional and mature" but their outfits are quite boring, especially next to Miku's. If all of them had a big star armband like Honami or even had a bigger star buckle anywhere (like on a belt) it would look a bit nicer.

WxS was an improvement from Leo/need maybe? The outfits are definitely the most detailed so far, and they had a lot of personality. I like that they kept the original theme of character types (Rui being a villain, Nene being a fairy, etc), and it's not hard to tell what role each of them are meant to be (except emu but it wasn't obvious what hers was in the first place). I think Tsukasa's fits his personality quite well; he plays hero roles so he has a prince sort of outfit, he's the leader so he's got the sash, and he usually dresses very smart. it's very plain though, definitely could've done with brighter colors on the accessories, and maybe keeping the belt charm. also the jacket and trousers being the same color without much to separate them and balance it out doesn't look great. emu and nene's are both better, the color palettes are really nice and their outfits aren't plain holy shit. Emu's fits her personality really well - just by looking you can tell she's a fun and positive person. Rui's is probably the one i'd say is best out of the bunch. I know we can't see the front but the asymmetry and use of black in the color palette makes it stand out a lot and really adds something that the others were lacking. it's a very good villain outfit as well.

N25's were simple, but managed to actually pull it off. they didn't feel really plain compared to some of the other units despite actually being pretty plain. their outfits were always dark, and that hasn't changed, but making the colors more murky adds an extra layer to it. the addition of the flower patterns really adds something to take away the plainess of the original outfits, as well as adding relevant symbolism. Mafuyu's especially stands out being the lightest color and being the most ragged. It tells you she's different, she appears bright and perfect at first, but when you look further down, she's damaged. The image colors could've done with being a bit brighter maybe but other than that these are pretty good.

VBS outfits are actually really good. There I said it. They're able to feel cohesive as a group while still managing to reflect the individuality of each members and not be plain. The outfits fit their personal styles really well, Kohane's more girly, An's more cool and mature, Akito's sporty and active and Toya's more smart but still has the street look. Despite their outfits looking totally different, you can tell they're a unit because of the reddish-pink accents on all their outfits and also using white as a unifying color. i know i complained about the white making the other outfits plain but it's far more balanced out here and isn't as in-your-face. it isn't like MMJ and WxS that have white as their main outfit color. With VBS it's just one white item of clothing: Kohane's sweater, An's cargos, Akito's hoodie and Toya's tshirt. it's incorporated in a very natural way and isn't overly prominent. their image colors and other colors are used just as much in the outfits to balance it out. they have the best balance undoubtedly. even the accessories, they aren't big and there's not a whole lot of them, but the outfits already have a lot going on so they don't need to be complex, they're just there to add something extra.

There’s too much white.

#asks #mod talks #sorry

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vaspider · 1 year

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yeah, my bad, that was incredibly vague. specifically I'm mostly interested in the aids crisis, but again, I'd like to avoid any overly sanitized sources if I can

I'm not actually sure why I sent you specifically that ask in the first place? I can find my own research just fine haha. thank you for the help but feel free to just delete my earlier ask!

It's okay! That's just a huge category.

I would start with And The Band Played On by Randy Shilts. It tracks the discovery and spread of AIDS/HIV. Shilts was gay & died from complications of AIDS 7 years after the book's publication in 1987.

We Both Laughed In Pleasure, the journals of Lou Sullivan, covers his diagnosis and death from AIDS, though that's a tertiary part of the journals in relation to his life as a trans man.

If you're looking for media, there's a movie made from And The Band Played On, but I haven't watched it in a very long time. Pose is a very good fictional depiction of a lot of things, and one of the things it's quite good about is its depiction of the AIDS crisis.

That's just the first couple of things that came to mind.

#AIDS crisis #AIDS #hiv

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 8 months

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It's kind of sad to me how so many queer communities have their own cultures and symbolism that you can choose to connect with or not, but most aspec communities don't have a choice.

So many ace people I've met didn't even have a clue about the cake symbol or the dragons and all that. And aromantic symbolism/culture is even more ignored!! And I won't even name the poor apl and other tertiary attraction aspec culture/symbolism.

So many of us are so proud of our identities, but what about culture? The symbolism? We don't have those privileges.

I miss the time I found out I was ace and every time I saw a cake I would giggle and whisper to myself "look, it's like my identity!", I wanted to feel it back, and I also wanted other aspec people (both young acespec who just discovered themselves AND aspec who aren't (only) ace) to feel it too.

I don't know how to explain it, I was just thinking about it...

(Apologies for even bringing this up but) I feel like the so-called ace discourse* really did a number on our community, because one of the big things they did was shame ace and a-spec culture and symbols. It got very hard to post cute things like purple dragons and cake the same colours as the ace flag without someone showing up and yelling at you and accusing you of all kinds of things. It died down on Tumblr years ago, but I'm still seeing the effects.

I think one of the best things we can though is spread and share these things, share ace dragons, make jokes, teach people about community culture things like the asexual ring and aromantic ring. And of course we can always create more symbols, more cultural things, and often that happens from connecting as a community. Community building is something any of us can do if we want to.

All the best, Anon!

*I know that's not a good name for it since what it actually was was a large scale harassment campaign, and generally targeted the entire a-spec community, but not sure if there's an alternate recognizable name for it.

#the so called discourse cw #aspec antagonism

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mylittleredgirl · 10 days

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Least favorite Star Trek character in each series?

i love all my children equally how could you do this to me!!!!

slightly more rational answer: i have been thinking about this since yesterday when i got the ask and it's like every time i think i have an answer i immediately go "oh but i love them for XYZ" and they move up in the ranks. ultimately most treks are ensemble shows and removing anybody from the ensemble makes it all fall apart!

gun to my head, though, bearing in mind that i love all of them:

tos: gun to my head it's chapel i'm afraid and i feel bad about it. she doesn't really get to grow much and the other most-static character is probably chekov and i had a massive crush on him. in 1967 when they went "you know this show should add a mop top for the teenyboppers out there" they were talking specifically about me 30 years later.

tng: i would take the bullet for real.

ds9: man i'm going through main characters and then secondary characters and then tertiary characters and how are they all so essential and good????? literally i have gone thru a list of characters and a list of episodes and am coming up blank. even the villains are fantastic. eddington is annoying but he's supposed to be and his episodes are all great. sloan himself is fun it's just what section 31 did to star trek in general that sucks. like????? there's not a single name that shows up in the credits that doesn't make me go YEAHHHHHH.

voy: if we can count recurring characters i'm saying barclay. i liked him a lot as a character in tng and but go "for fuck's sake" whenever i see "guest star dwight schultz" on the voyager credits. i dislike pretty much every earth-contact episode after "message in a bottle" so maybe i don't like voyager-barclay because he just happens to be there?? for main cast it'd be neelix shut up shut up i love him in the ensemble but sometimes when they give him his own episode it's too much.

ent: sorry malcolm lovers this was the only show that was an easy choice. like we SHOULD dig into the fact that essentially his greatest wish is to sacrifice himself and he won't be happy until he dies on the job. klingon behavior but not at all for the fun and glory of it just because he kind of just doesn't enjoy being alive???? archer is terrible in so many ways but he's also much more enjoyable to watch being terrible.

disco: this is actually a very weird show to even know who to choose from. the cast changes every year! we barely even know the bridge crew! who is interesting enough to count as a main character?? of the main title cast i'm kind of hot and cold with adira. i like them but the sheer amount of anxiety radiating off them at all times makes me tense up whenever they come on screen. (i just realized it's kind of ironic to say adira because they're basically a mix of wesley and ezri, who would probably make this list for most other trekkies but are two of my absolute faves.) (i will think long and hard about this)

snw: i don't know that i have enough of a read on any of them? i still haven't finished it. chapel (again?? oh no) is the one i had the hardest time warming up to early on because she seemed the most wink-y and out of place in a franchise that usually takes silly things very seriously, but i did warm up to her!

lower decks: if we can go with guest characters i hate badgey (only one on here that gathers the "hate" rating!!). i don't find him (it??) funny and i know i SHOULD find it funny which means whenever it shows up i am both not having a good time and feel bad about not having a good time. the main characters are all brilliant. gun to my head it's boims but it's a close one i love them all.

i don't even know what other shows we have i've run out of steam???

oh right picard. captain shaw??? why is such a large subset of fandom so horny for him??? and shipping him with seven of nine of all things???? is it just White Guy With Trauma because there are like. a lot of other white guys with trauma in this franchise to choose from.

#chatter post #anonymous friend #star trek thoughts #this killed me i'm going to eat ice cream straight from the container now and i didn't even get them all

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salvagesmha · 2 months

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Some Vain Attempt At Giving Every Member of Class 1-A (plus one more) a 'Nemesis' Pt. 1 of 3 - Jailbreakers...and Slidn' Go.

Now this is something that's been on my mind since like, what, a year now? Back before this blog existed a comment from @stillness-in-green asked why I thought Tsu should have been Spinner's 'Nemesis' instead of Shoji...

However, due to a combination of shyness, scattered thoughts and business, not only did I pretty much hold off on giving my thoughts, I also got hit with an idea that I'm both loving...and deeply regretting!!!

"Say, instead of just doing why I think Spinner and Shoji aren't a good match-up...why not give legit everyone in Class A (and a certain someone else), a Nemesis. Because what I'm doing isn't hard enough to explain as is!"

So I did, and have practically everyone else mapped out. What you see below are basically, most of the tertiary squad of Class A get their due facing against a Villain that I feel would be roughly on par with them and still be a meaningful clash (though not as important to those that got the League/upper MLA executives).

In addition, I added pretty much how I would write their 'arcs' so to speak concerning their clashes with these Villains. Nothing full blown, but just a bit of concepts had in mind that I feel would make their last battle meaningful.

Now, concerning these pairs I did have some rules going in place (because I can't make it easy in myself, why...) First rule is that the Villains chose have to be members of the League of Villains or its alliances. For example, Paranormal Liberation Front or whatever the Hell the Final War villains are called, are game. That said, I can't use Villains from spin-off or movie material, and Nomu's aren't allowed either (the former due to just wanting to contain things to the manga as much as possible, and the latter is more for balancing reaons).

Also, on that note, concerning the likes of Dabi/Shoto, Toga/Ochaco, and Deku/Shigaraki, they aren't going to be listed since...well, they're pretty much established enemies in canon! No real need to re-state them here. Also, AFO is hard locked to All Might if you were wondering, so he's not making an appearance here either. Neither is Gigantomachia or the Advisors (except one), due to balance and just being way too easy to fill up the roster with.

So with that stated, here we go!

Slidin’ Go - Sato

It’s speed vs power with this one, a match between the traitorous Hero who can, ideally, weave himself away from heavy blows against someone who can be stronger to take him down, but has to find a way to get that solid hit in.

Character wise, I want to imagine this being a storyline where Sato becomes insecure over his Quirk’s weaknesses and how unreliable he feels it might be. In a class where people can harness the elements, shoot intense soundwaves, and warp gravity - having a Quirk with a cognitive drawback and intense fatigue + being yet another strength Quirk would actually be a good way to explore the inner doubts of feeling redundant or unneeded.

As a foil to Sato, Slidin Go could be a Villain with heroic intentions at one point. However, Slidin Go was eventually overshadowed by speed/mobility Quirks that were functionally better (like Ingenium) and his popularity dropped to the point he became borderline poor given how low he was in the Hero rankings. S.G. joined the MLA as their man on the inside, in exchange for promoting him to rise higher in the rankings. Because, at his lowest point, all he cared about was just being able to sustain himself. The price to pay for being seen as redundant and how he sympathizes with Sato.

Assuming this takes place in a timeline where S.G. is participating in the Final War, Sato thinks outside the box to best S.G. With the last of his cognitive strength, he shatters the ground to trip SG up before taking him out in one strike. Sure, his Quirk might be ‘redundant’ in the face of others, but what matters in the moment is not caring about one’s status but doing the right thing, in spite of it. A lesson that Slidin’ Go forgot long ago...though maybe, in time, after his arrest he can regain that spark?

Kunieda - Aoyama

Now this is one that, really, already played out in the manga, but will restate it here briefly since there is an interesting dynamic here, if brief. Aoyama and Kunieda offer a unique spin on the ‘loyal ally versus the traitor’ plot. Aoyama is the Traitor, a double agent for the Villains that goes against them for the bonds he made undercover and to make up for his wrongs. In contrast, Kunieda is someone actually loyal and grateful to All For One - his liberator (heck, one of the few that seems to genuinely be loyal to AFO in the Second War) and hates Aoyama for switching sides. It’s to the point Kunieda personally wants to kill Aoyama just to keep up AFO’s streak (which, to me, gives credence to Kunieda being a former associate to AFO and not just a random Jailbreaker).

In media, I always found it interesting when the heroes are people who betrayed their former allegiance for someone else, and their rival end up being someone fanatically loyal to their old group. I think its because, if alignments were reversed, it’d be easy to portray the Traitor as being self-serving and cowardly, compared to those who remain whose loyalty to their boss who would be seen as virtuous. Given both of their personalities, with Aoyama actually struggling with cowardice and Kunieda being fiercely behind AFO, its not an unreasonable thing to consider at all.

Here? It’s pretty much saying that not only is it okay to betray someone who you work for, if they’re as toxic and awful as AFO, but the virtuous thing in this instance is to go against them to save others, with loyalty to the ‘boss’ being a vice that’ll just bring you down. If I were to make their fight stronger storywise, perhaps Kunieda could have been someone that got the better end of AFO giving out Quirks. Perhaps, he was also Quirkless or had a weakish Plant Quirk before running across AFO one day. In exchange for the Quirk he currently had, he swore loyalty to AFO to be a supplier of corpses for him, before being arrested by Endeavor.

Gashly - Sero

At the time of this writing, Gashly is likely slated to be Sero’s opponent. Can’t really get into too much specifics since I don’t know how that’ll play. So I’ll just give brief thoughts on why I think they’ll work, how I’d write Sero to make it evern more appropriate, and what Gashly deal might be.

Sero is the laidback, witty guy of the Class A who provides support and levity to his allies. In contrast, I imagine Gashly to be the type that only wants levity for himself in the form of his crimes: making twisted stories that involve brutal deaths of kids. If I were to write Sero’s arc, I’d probably make his jokey side both his reason to be a Hero and a bit of a front for insecurities of people taking ‘the guy who shoots tape’ seriously (especially after Shoto beats him in the Sports Festival). His victory against Gashly is him proving to the Villain and himself that it’s far more of a threat than people give it credit for.

For the Top Ten that beat Gashly before, I want to imagine Ryukyu did the deed. A fantasy creature Hero beating a storyteller is just fitting.

"Fang"/2nd Hired Gun - Ojiro

Yep, its Ojiro against the second Tartarus Jailbreaker AFO sent after Deku…who got his ass beat so very quickly. Name and power? Nope - just a reminder that Deku is so OP now not many can compare, because that certainly helps brings out the threat of even escaped criminals. Distaste aside, Fang (for lack of a better name) was chosen because, design wise, I feel a gangster type contrasts well against Ojiro being a disciplined martial artist.

Ojiro always had to face people criticizing for fighting ‘plainly’ with his Tail Quirk, and his own arc here could be accepting that, yeah, while not as flashy, as his peers, his Tail is more versatile in its simplicity and incredibly effective. Fang, as a dark reflection, could be what could have happened if Ojiro had a ‘flashier’ Quirk and let the fame of it go to his head. Since he’s a Tartarus Jailbreaker, and had quite a bit of jewelry on him, I’m going to give him something like a Metal Absorption Quirk. Something that, in theory, could pose a problem to Deku (if Fang didn’t get his ass beat so quickly). Whatever metallic substance he touches, his skin reflects it. In this case, befitting his chain around his neck, he skin becomes gold. I like to imagine Fang was originally overconfident and based too much of his pride in his Quirk. So much so that he was a bully that turned to a life of crime as head of his own crime gang. A gang that I imagined was stopped by one of the Top Ten heroes like Edgeshot.

Fang’s downfall, assumign he made it to the Final War, could be that arrogance biting him in the ass. He’s so cocky he fails to realize that, while Ojiro can’t necessarily hurt physically due to his Quirk, he can still use his tail to take him out by other means. Such as restraining Fang and knocking him out by suffocating him with his tail. Is Ojiro’s Quirk flashy as the others? No way, but he doesn’t need for it to be flashy to be effective. He just needs a chance to make that ‘plainess’ work extremely well for him. Leading for Fang to once again be defeated by someone both more humble and creative than him.

Dictator - Hagakure

It’s everyones least favorite clown villain - Dictator! But now he gets to face off against our perky spy!

So what would Hagakure’s storyline be for this? Before Sato and Ojiro's dealt with issues of the world such as feeling of being Outclassed or Plainness. So I figured an interesting contrast for Hagakure is to deal with personality and powers not really mixing. Her arc could be struggling to be an efficient espionage Hero when she longed to be in the spotlight, getting praises and such from the crowd like her friends If I were to rewrite the story, Hagakure's personality would be tweaked to be more of a cocky type, inspired by her bout of overconfidence during her 1B battle.

Early on she'd be extremely boastul & playful concerning her invisibility, blinding her enemies and taunting them throughout her fights...up until people eventually wisened up either by paying close attention to her voice, laying traps to trip up Hagakure or just using AOE moves if they had it. I could see another change could be that she might volunteer to go after Mustard in the Training Camp attack but ended up losing because she overestimated her own ability and her cockiness gave him an opening to knock out her out. Following that, her training under Yoroi Musha could be to grant herself more discipline and find different ways to channel her mischeviousness into being a better spy - one that can get a victory worth celebrating for and cheers at that!

So how would this relate to Dictator? Well, given his Despot Quirk and clown theming, I’d expand on this short guy as him being a ringmaster that wanted to put on the best show in Japan…problem is that he forcibly recruited/enslaved those he saw potential in his ‘circus’ via his Quirk. He’d trained them to Hell and back under very dangerous performances, up until an investigation was enacted. Something that lead to him taking over everyone, cops who came to arrest him and panicking audience, until Crust defeated him. In short he’s a tiny fella that wants to be in absolute full control from start to finish.

A control freak to the core against someone whose a master of surprise, it works out surprisingly well. For their fight, and to show how Hagakure’s grown, she’d silently wallop Dictator who’d be in utter panic over getting hit by seemingly no one. Enough that he loses his grip on Despot and release his prisoners by accident. Thus, giving Hagakure enough time to blind him before knocking him out with an uppercut…and celebrating with an appreciative audience for good measure.

"Neptune"/Hired Gun No# 3 - Shoji

Finally, Shoji would have Neptune, for lack of a better name, as his Rival for the War fight. Now, why? Especially given that Shoji was meant to reflect Spinner. Now, on this end, I have said I disliked their pairing and I think that reason has to do with importance at the end of the day. Storywise, meaning. On Spinner's end, on the Villains side, he's had load of character development from his beginning as our lovable Stain cosplayer, to reluctant leader just trying to help out the one who cares about most. It's actually a remarkably clear and steady growth that leads up to his role in the Final War...

Yet, his Rival in this instance is Shoji. While Shoji's whole arc did have a few crumbs (such as his Pony fight), let's be honest he hasn't had any near enough importance or build-up in the story that really feels earned to be Spinner's Rival, nor do I feel that, given both of their roles in their respective groups, do I think they made even a natural match. Neptune here is meant to be a substitute for him that gives him a climatic finish and Spinner someone different to butt heads with (and will it be Tsu still?! Who knows!!!!)

Neptune here would be a mutant rights activist, though was dubbed a Villain after his protests involved taking a violent stance against those that harmed him and his shipping crew. In his case, I imagine Gang Orca was the one to defeat him, and given Gang Orca’s whole deal with being considered one of the scariest Heroes, Neptune might consider this a betrayal from someone in the same boat.

His role in the Final War arc would be assisting in the freedom of Kurogiri, and intercepting Shoji. Neptune would be the stance of physical rebellion - that change can not occur unless those affected fight back physically and showing their discontentment. Shoji would represent emotional rebellion - that change can not occur unless you show others by your character that you are different. Both aren’t really wrong in their ideals or their feelings on the matter, but it's Shoji that recognizes that working under All For One, someone who has no one but his own interests in heart, is not going to give the Heteromorphs the better treatment that they yearn for.

For Shoji's character arc in particular, I would change things so that the Heteromorph discrimination would be more out in the open in UA, likely in a history class that covers the great Jeda purge or 6/6 incident, and him being a bit more vocal concerning the reputation of mutants. Have it be a case where the class, naturally, is disgusted by such genocide, but seemingly think that its just a case of evil in a bygone era…up until its Shoji who ends up doing a report on just how many Heteromorphs make up the majority of the arrests in Japan kind and victim reports out in the slums, boonies and even the case of the cities they thought were safe from such prejudice. He isn’t condemning them for not knowing, but it is his words that get them to consider how they’ve been acting towards those who were like Shoji so far (like Shoto and how he treated the police chief). Just something to help boost the plotline a bit more.

I also think Neptune just fits with Shoji given their sea animal/monster theme, too. As for their fight, I imagine it’d go similar to Spinner fighting against Shoji, although in this case, I imagine Neptune’s need for water might eventually make him lose a battle of attrition against Shoji in the end. Though compared to Dictator or Fang, he’d be a Nemesis that Shoji does actually succeed in getting him to stand down and possibly even get rehabilitated for the future.

But, yeah, this has been the first part of the series, so far. Hope its been at least an interesting read through, and these match-ups make sense from your views.

I was very conflicted when it came to giving these guys Nemesis since they didn't really fit/other people in the Class were more fitting to get the likes of the League or MLA guys. I originally was going to pair the likes of Sato, Ojiro, Hagakure and Shoji with the High End Nomu, but a combo of the realism concerning them facing one, and just feeling iffy on them had me scrap the idea and put up the Nomu rule in effect. I wanted the Villain they face to not really be a monster like a Nomu.

I also did toy around with the movie stuff, namely the Heroes Rising Villains coming into play, though it would have been just Shoji, Hagakure, and Ojiro going against Chimera, Mummy and Slice, but figured it'd be best to stick to just the manga.

If you're wondering about Slidin Go', he's like the only exception to the Advisors showing up here due to being a thing before the group. He also was supposed to be who remained of Sato, Ojiro or even Sero as like a filler choice if I couldn't find a suitable villain. Sato happened to get the short end of the stick. SG is also here because still writing about the MLA guys, who are next, and had his completed first.

I actually had Hagakure locked into facing Mustard, but once it hit me to use the Jailbreakers, thought it'd be best for Mustard to face someone with more story importance and who could be a better contrast too. Aoyama was considered to but it felt awkward for me.

Here's hoping the next part comes out soon...or at least this year!

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polarpace · 7 months

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The Elements

(shoutout to @shiftingshade for helping me with certain aspects of this, like getting down the symbol for Spirit! They have a Spyro the Dragon AU of their own that I highly recommend checking out.)

After nearly a year of work, I would like to introduce you to the six elements of my Spyro AU, The Legend of Fire and Ice. Alongside the elements are their secondary abilities, which are extensions of the main elements that allow the user to utilize a wider range of abilities. There are also tertiary abilities, sometimes referred to as a fury, that combine their primary and secondary abilities into a powerful elemental attack.

Any element can be any color, including white and black. The culmination of every element is called Aether, a special ability that can only be controlled by special creatures who are born once every ten generations. However, Aether can also be created artificially via crystals, or if one user of each element were to combine their magic. Aether is a black and white beam that glows with every color of the rainbow.

None of the elements are inherently good, and none are inherently evil. Each have their own set of unique abilities that could be used for a variety of purposes. This concept is represented by the circular shape of the, well, wheel, speaking to the fact that no one element is superior to the others. Additionally, every creature is born with an element, whether they can wield it or not.

A process called enchantment causes a creature’s secondary ability to be different from their birth element, allowing them to use certain parts of a second element, but preventing them from using the secondary ability of their birth element. For example, a Fire creature enchanted with Ice would get Water as their secondary, but still primarily breathe Fire. Enchanted creatures have furies that combine both elements.

And now… onto the elements themselves!

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Fire is a combustive element, defined by its scorching heat. Creatures of this element can create and control flames, with the most advanced users able to engulf and shield themselves within the blaze. They are able to swim through lava or walk through a forest fire without being burned. It may also be used as a light source.

-SECONDARY: Magma manifests primarily in the form of fiery rocks that explode into a wave of lava. At its most powerful, these fireballs will create a shockwave that sprays bits of igneous rock and lava in a wide range.

-FURY: The user forces a strong burst of fire magic from within, creating a blazing inferno with flames that throw exploding fireballs in every direction.

Electricity is a wild and unpredictable element, quick and energetic. Those that wield this element can conduct bolts of electricity, with the most experienced and sharp users able to tame this fierce element into a controlled stream. This element can also speed up its caster, allowing them to zip around, though this is difficult to control. Electricity can also be used to power machinery and other inanimate objects.

-SECONDARY: Gravity casters can wield static electricity, swathing their bodies in it or shooting arcs of it to create charged tornadoes that can lift objects or creatures into the air.

-FURY: Zapping electricity surges from the user’s body, creating a shockwave that trails off into bolts of static that can trigger mini tornadoes. Anything caught within is often forced into the sky!

Earth is the ability to harness the earth itself, from the soil on the ground to currents in the air. Creatures of this element can fire shots of energy that call dirt and stone and wind to their aid. These energy shots can either be shot out directly, or manifest as a flail that can be thrown about. The caster can also use this energy to physically push things away, or to make a natural shield around themselves.

-SECONDARY: Wind users specialize in controlling the air, or even summoning powerful gusts of wind. These currents can be influenced more directly when high amounts of Earth energy are forced together. When this compressed energy is fired, it unleashes tornadoes filled with various debris, which can protect the user or keep foes trapped within.

-FURY: The caster calls to the earth itself, causing boulders to rain from the sky and summoning mighty whirlwinds that pick up as much debris as possible before flinging it in any direction. The power of the debris landing back onto the ground is said to feel almost like an earthquake.

Spirit is an energy that can revive the dead and influence the emotions of the living. This element manifests as a beam, and can easily be transferred into crystals. Creatures with Spirit can more easily soothe a sad friend, or compel their foes to hesitate before an attack. Those brought back to life by a Spirit caster can have their minds altered or controlled by the one who revived them. Spirit users also have a connection to dreams, with powerful ones being able to contact anyone – living or dead – through the use of visions.

-SECONDARY: Although those who have this secondary appear to control Time itself, it more specifically influences the perception of everything around them. While the user appears faster to others, the creature themselves sees everything around them moving slower.

-FURY: Beams refract from the body of the caster, affecting the emotions of anyone hit by them. Any emotion can be influenced by this fury, but it will manifest as overwhelmingly intense. Time also slows the closer someone is to the “heart” of the fury.

Shadow is a sticky element that can be used to slow down or stop creatures and objects. Those with this element can cover themselves and others with it, temporarily allowing them to take on a shadowy form. This offers them camouflage and allows them to “jump” into any shadows around them. Physical shade can also be influenced, with casters able to manifest tendrils that can keep anything rooted to the shadow. Creatures with this element specialize in stealth.

-SECONDARY: Poison users can inject anything with a venom that makes creatures sluggish or sleepy. This venom isn’t lethal and wears off after a short time, but can stop attackers in their tracks. Sometimes this toxin is given to insomniacs to aid in sleep.

-FURY: The caster covers everything in shadow, pulling anything caught in the blast into the shade and trapping them there. The outer edges of the fury are surrounded by tendrils that poison anyone who comes near.

Ice is a stinging cold element that can manifest in many forms, from the gentlest flurry to the sharpest icicle. Ice creatures can use streams of ice to freeze other creatures or objects, either using small bits of frost to temporarily stop them, or encasing them entirely in ice. They can also partially cover themselves in ice, functioning as either a shield or a weapon. This element can also be fired out in sharp but brittle icicles.

-SECONDARY: Creatures can pull moisture from around them or even from within their own bodies to use Water. It is able to be shot out as a pressurized surge, or compressed into explosive bubbles. Those with this secondary sometimes have gills to breathe underwater.

-FURY: Shards of ice explode from the caster and shatter, scattering bits of ice around them. A mini blizzard forms in the vicinity, making it difficult to escape. Water spurts up from the ground and is instantly frozen by the frigid conditions. Anyone or anything caught within is generally frozen, too!

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There are a couple of additional details that I want to elaborate on in the future (for example, trying to explain how furies work on enchanted creatures) but this is already getting long enough so I’ll leave it here! I eventually plan on drawing and writing in-depth posts for each individual element, as well as covering the concept of Enchantment. For now, these brief descriptions of each element’s abilities should at least give you a rough idea of their usage within the story.

I’ve had this AU in the works for a long time and I’m really excited to show off more in the future!

More TLoFaI: @thelegendoffireandice

TLoFaI on deviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/polarpace/gallery/86685877/tlofai

#spyro the dragon #the legend of spyro #tlos #elements #tlofai au

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aheathen-conceivably · 4 months

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Hello! Merry Christmas and good luck in the new year! I have a question, I don’t know if it’s been asked already, but I’m interested to know which of your characters is closest to you in spirit? What traits do you have in common with him? And vice versa. Which character is the most difficult for you to write, which you do not always understand: his actions, words and motivation, because you are a real writer and are probably good at the psychology of heroes (I really apologize for the distorted sentences, because I am a foreign subscriber and use a translator)

Absolutely no need to apologize, Nonny! Everything looks great and thank you so much for taking the time to send these thoughtful questions 💕

Y’all already know the rambler in me is getting all excited, so prepare y’all selves! Though I must say, it’s quite hard to pinpoint an answer, mostly because there’s at least a small bit of myself in each of the characters and who’s easiest to write is not always who is the most like me? So naturally, let’s go below the cut, and I’ll split this into sections to make it easier for us to read 😘

1. My spirit characters:

Honesty time. I think that it’s easier for me to put my “negative” qualities into characters and thus also easier to recognize them in hindsight. This is probably because it’s simply often easier to see what needs to be improved in yourself than vice versa, but also probably because I’m a dramatic broad who likes giving her characters flaws.

So although I could probably find a bit of myself in most characters, I would say those who are most like me are Rosella, Zelda, and Violette. Just down to sims traits, Rosella and my simself actually both have the self-absorbed trait (oops). I think this manifests in different ways, but at its core I’m just as likely to follow my wants and cut ties as she is. I also have a ~rather strong~ proclivity for the aesthetic and vain, enjoying beautiful things for their own sake often to the point of distraction. However, I like to think that this is tertiary to me, and my pursuit of them is not as detrimental as it was for her.

Which brings us to, of course, Zelda. Zelda shares this love of the beautiful with her sister, although for her it can extend into the ephemeral and artistic rather than simply the mundane. I would say I share that tendency toward internal existentialism with her, as well as the proclivity to separate from my immediate surroundings rather than live in the present moment. I, like her, can thus often seem “out of it” but in reality we’re just interpreting our surroundings through a distorted, if not tinted lens. However, I’m by no means as artistically talented or reserved as Zelda, which brings us to….

Our little heiress, Violette. Now I’ll try not to get too deep into spoilers here, but Little Lottie and I definitely share some core tendencies. I, like her, despise being told what to do, and will usually become more stubborn or do the opposite simply because of what someone said (whether it’s well intentioned or not). I can also be gregarious, dramatic, and loud when I want to be, and enjoy being the center of attention. However, I think the Zelda in me tempers that so that I need to retreat back into my cave after a while, while Violette thrives on it. I was also raised an only child, so a lot of Lottie’s experience with loneliness and not knowing how to relate to other children is coming from my own childhood.

2. The easiest to write:

So oddly, I don’t think there’s a clear connection between the characters who are most like me and those I find easiest to write. Rather I think that comes from the historical situation that is currently inspiring me, which character fits into that inspiration the best, and how clear of a grasp I have on that character’s personality. This often comes in the form of scenes just appearing in my head, and as I write it’s like the sentences already exist? So there’s this natural understanding between the character and me, where I don’t really have to sort through thought rubble or force their perspective quite as much?

This answer is highly dependent on what part of the story we are currently in. As in, there have been times I have found a character easy to write, and then it will suddenly switch. Zelda is absolutely one of those characters, as her perspective came very naturally to me in parts of the 1910s and then again after motherhood. Now, I find it easier to write the characters surrounding her, and I’m sure it will switch again at some point in the future.

Currently? I find Josephine easiest to write (although she is not very similar to me at all, and her deep fear of commitment is something that I don’t share in the slightest), with Antoine coming in as a close second. Violette’s perspective in the 1940s has also kind of begun presenting itself to me, although at various points I would say that Adelia, Virginia, and Florence have all also been the easiest characters to write for, and those who’s voices have inspired me to come up with new scenes and plotlines.

3. Who even is she?

Now for the characters who are least like me? That one has gotta probably gotta go to Florence, Virginia, and Antoine. As much as I may want to be like Florence, I’m gunna be honest with y’all and say that is not the case. Starting with the fact that I strongly dislike the great outdoors. Farming? Nah. Camping? Absolutely not. Living of the land? What a pleasant dream. What can I say, I am absolutely a Rosella; I enjoy being fancy and comfortable, and Florence in some ways is the antithesis of this. She also embodies selfless generosity and a sort of steady love, which are not things that I would say I really relate to (I once again point you to answer 1 😅).

Now Virginia is a strange one. I was actually very concerned with writing her, because I share none of the righteousness or quickness to action that define her. Likewise, I don’t think that I am able to remain as steady and surefire in tragedy and trauma as she does. So when I first conceived her character I thought I would have great difficulty writing her, but as I mentioned above, despite the fact that she is probably the least similar to me of all the Darlingtons, I found her easy and almost natural to write once we began her storyline.

Which brings us to my baby boy. Sigh. I say this next because Antoine has easily been one of the most natural characters for me to write. I think this is because I had such a clear vision of him from the start that has really been able to grow through the story. So he’s remained who he is through it all, and why I still find him so easy to write.

Despite this, there is very little to none of me in his character, despite the fact that I maybe sorta have a thing for the broken artist stereotype (hello, hubs, I know you’re out there ��). So there may be some ways in which I wrote my partner into his character’s talent and approach to the world around him, but he is heavily inspired by these ideas of “old fashioned masculinity”, of self-imposed stoicism and protection and fatherhood. These are feelings that I have to imagine rather than pull from experience, but somehow the more I write him the more real they become to me as well.

4. The ~struggle~

Hands down the hardest characters for me to write have been Oliver and Isaiah. I think that Oliver really suffered from the fact that he was my first gen heir, so I was at a place in the story and my writing process where I wasn’t as sure in what I was doing or as good at honing into what I wanted to do. Then by the time this became more clear to me, I had really begun to lean into writing Florence’s character and then his children. So he kind of became less of a focus, and the less I focused on him the harder it was for me to define his voice, which then became a cycle.

I think if I could go back, I would lean more into the connection that I see between him and the romantic poets, really kind of exploring that juxtaposition between idealized nature and reality. I also think his position as a pseudo-wealthy aristocratic and failed businessman had a lot of potential, but alas, you live and you learn.

Now onto the Forgotten Child. Y’all (and I) call him that for a reason, and I think next to his sisters it’s no secret that Isaiah received much less focus (I even have a post about him realizing this 😂). Part of this is just that he’s the youngest, so I really didn’t get much time to explore his adult life or even his teenage years. It’s also because trying to juggle six perspectives all at once means that some are going to suffer more than others.

Now that being said, I am happy with his storylines. However, they often felt more like I was exploring plots I had come up with rather than really viewing things through his perspective. I think this is the biggest challenge to me when having trouble writing a character: it’s that their voice is just for whatever reason not really clear in my mind. Even in the subsequent decades, our English Darlington updates are mostly going to come from Summer, because I still have never really gotten my finger on exactly who Isaiah is. For that reason, my poor forgotten baby boy is probably the most difficult character for me to write.

—

ALSO if you made it this far please know that turning your delightful questions into a multi-paragraph rant about myself is a very self absorbed and very Rosella/Violette thing to do so in the end…I think you have all the answer you need right there 🤣

#thank you all for coming to my Ted Talk 🫡#which is basically a demonstration of why the answer is Rosella #real cute look Alexis kill off your spirit character huh #also a very merry Christmas to you too Nonny!!#I hope that it was lovely ❤️🎄#ask #answered #Darlington extras

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system-of-a-feather · 8 months

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Okay so like, we started talking to an old friend again that we haven't talked to in like over a year, almost a year and a half honestly and it naturally has me having to go through the "aight what have you missed in the Feathers Saga" and thinking about it made me go "ok its a good chance to make a list of Total Ws in life and recovery to celebrate a year and a half of progress" cause god damn theres been a lot

Lets GO. 1.5 Year "we got this bread" positivity post to just go "God DAMN we are doing GOOD" (not an exhaustive list though cause that requires me to remember and go through every event over a year and a half and I may be at functional multiplicity but my memory is still garbage)

Trauma, DID, and Recovery Achievements:

Identified and got a system consensus that our oldest sister is a piece of shit and basically our life long "handler" and HARD cut her off out of our life

Rebuilt really good relationship (neutral but pleasant to supportive and reliable) with our other direct family members who don't try to force us to interact with her

Identified that we are probably considered polyfragmented and very quickly accepted it cause quite frankly we don't really care

Got most parts to acknowledge that we aren't faking being Asian (I know but that was a long one I swear to god)

Basically entirely got over our 6 year long difficulty driving cars SO much to the point we have multiple parts ARGUING who gets to drive and actively WANTING to drive

Largely let go of a lot of the anger and hurt directed at our parents for their role in our childhood trauma

Largely helped our main CSA trauma holder basically fully go into PTSD remission to the point hes now an uber helpful tertiary host and arguably one of our most comfortable parts talking about CSA related topics

Cleared stabilization phase of recovery and achieved functional multiplicity as confirmed by our DID specialist at the time

Fused like so many parts ngl. I don't know if Riku 1.0 and XIV 1.0 fused with their respective parts to be Riku 2.0 and XIV 2.0 around then cause it was about the time we stopped talking but there was that, the whole Data subsystem and shit, integrating Chunn into the system and helping him renavigate that crap, Lin fusing with an inner world part and shit - lots of that XD

Became a (Zen-leaning) Buddhist which plays a decent role in how we approach our mental health and cultural identity

Finally went from "undiagnosable autistic" to "Yeah you are autistic" because functional multiplicity enabled a more clear diagnosis

LOTS of gender dysphoria shit and gender shit that is too much work to break into main bullet points

Gained massive insight into how we intend to approach our reclaiming of sexuality

Learned to literally meditate and just enjoy existing

Realized we reaaaaaalllllly have a low threshold for dealing with people who we don't actively and strongly enjoy being around

Career and Direction Wise:

Graduated our undergrad - woot woot

Got a job supporting special ed - enjoyed it made good connections but also noted that god no dealing with people so much is not our cup of tea

Got a BETTER job at a reputable university to support research on aging memory with mice that has really good benefits - really like this job but also its not our cup of tea because we don't really enjoy the monotony

Came to the decision that research wise we really would rather deal with people on the "less" than the "more" end, scratching off a lot of human-focused research interests at least for the time being and greatly narrowing our previously wide scope down to the more animal heavy side

Sitting on old topics we researched and found interest in, realized the one thing our brain kept going back to was metrics of studying animal mental states and that we really probably would enjoy that as a nice balance between our interest and what we have the personal ability to engage in sustainably

Decided we are in fact going back to our PhD now that we have decided that 1) working life as a gear in a machine is cool and relaxing and shit, but it lowkey makes us depressed with how stagnant it is and we need more going on in our work life to keep us happy so "ok we tried that, we don't like it, back to the plan" 2) we have a pretty good idea of what we want to study at least for the beginning of a PhD career that could go in different directions organically

Scheduling currently a Zoom meeting with a professor we are interested in to informally discuss graduate studies

Independence, Hobbies and Other Shit:

We live on our own, sustain our life on our own and live with our fiance who - despite being currently unable to work due to disabilities - we are able to support and sustain (also bless zen Buddhism making it easy to be happy and enjoy life on a lower income)

Made some really nice mutuals - you know who you are - yall are good company love yall

Between the parts that are co-hosting, we have so many hobbies and interests its ridiculous; but we added electric guitar, ukelele, and recently a drum pad to our musical repertoire; gardening and plant care (which we suck at which is fine) added to the hobby

Became painful morning people as a result to our job and kinda realized we prefer it sorry for being that guy

Lost the ability to do the peacock call due to T dropping our voice range like a BITCH but in returned gained Raven calls and duck / goose noises

Also learned to do finch calls

Rescued two lovebirds when we moved to an apartment with our fiance - they are lesbians and very confused about it

Adopted a cat my fiance's mom was fostering from a kitten cause shes a shoulder cat (bird) and also now because of XIV she is also a dog who plays fetch and loves belly rubs (she also has extra toes)

Consistently continued doing art, developing the story world, encouraging my writing partner to get into art, aggressively shaking all my friends to art with me

Got Lin to be obsessed with art with me as well

Kept up a 230 day duolingo streak juggling like 6 or 7 different languages (the last like 120~ days or so have been a lot more 'just keeping it up' and me just doing one lesson of Japanese a day since its the one I know the best but it HAS been kept up)

Transitioning:

Started T and stayed taking T

Got a hysterectomy GOOD BYE PCOS

Am charted for seeing a surgeon to discuss bottom surgery this month

Am charted for seeing consult for top surgery at Some Point when the insurance stuff goes through

Have long since forgone our Dead Name in almost every area and got comfortable with our Chosen Name

Considering participating in Transmasculine No Shave November out of Transpride

#alter: riku #recovery #healing #progress #recovery progress #system update #transitioning #ptsd #c-ptsd

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hyunbunlix · 6 months

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Ceasefire [hitman!Felix]

Characters: Felix, older fem!OC, Hyunjin (mentioned), Jeongin (mentioned) Rating: A/O for Adults Only Content Warnings/Tags: preexisting polyamory with HyunIn, enemies to lovers, narcotics for pain management, sex while under the influence of narcotics (m), submissive Felix, establishment of safe word, bondage (restrained hands and arms), cunt eating, unprotected penetration, consensual non-consent, raw male orgasm, crying during sex (m), thorough aftercare Word Count: 5,808 Summary: Tired of fighting, Felix follows through on his promise to lay down arms for good. It wasn't his intention to get quite this vulnerable, though... Note: This is part of a larger John Wick AU, which can be found here.

Felix spent three long days at the New York Continental Hotel in a painkiller haze. He did little more than eat, sleep, and bathe, which was fine with him. The narcotics even ensured he didn’t dream, which was great for his already heavy conscience. It had been a long time since he’d well and truly rested.

When a knock came at his door on the third day, he hauled himself out of bed, feeling slightly disconnected from his body. The only reason he felt confident in knowing this wasn’t a dream was due to their general absence while he was medicated.

It became a little harder to trust that, though, when he saw Blackbox in his doorway. Thus far, Hyun Jin had been playing errand boy between them; she’d never come to see Felix personally.

“Hitting them a little hard, wouldn’t you say?” she asked, taking in his rumpled appearance as Felix shoved his blond curtain bangs back out of his face. Felix was grateful she spoke in English; he wasn’t sure how well his secondary and tertiary languages would fire right then.

“Just taking the edge off,” he said, his voice a little rough from sleep. His thoughts were ping-ponging between English and Korean, and he was grateful Blackbox was fluent in both in case he couldn’t come up with the right word in one or the other. “Don’t worry, if I was going to get hooked on a substance it would have happened a long time ago.”

“May I come in?” she said. He nodded, moving aside.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, taking a seat on the sofa. Felix shrugged and chose to remain standing.

“I’ve been worse,” he said. “I’m bored, but at least I’m not in agony anymore. I’m grateful for that.”

He couldn’t quite bring himself to thank her directly, but the slight softening in her gaze said she took it that way.

“Well, you’re in luck then, because I’ve come to take you away from purgatory for a bit,” she said. “If you’re feeling up for it, that is.”

“I can barely feel a thing right now, so I can probably handle it,” he said. “Where are we going?”

“The aquarium,” she said. He stared at her, sure he’d misheard.

“The . . . aquarium?” he repeated.

“Mmhmm. It’s about an hour away by train, but I think you’ll like it. I always have,” she said.

Felix blamed the narcotics entirely for his lack of filter when he asked, “Is this a date?”

She laughed. “Please. You haven’t earned that privilege. No, think of this like an interview.”

“Fair enough,” Felix sighed. “Give me a minute, will you?”

She leaned back on the hotel sofa, looking more at home in the room than he’d felt all week. “Take all the time you need.”

As Felix went to brush his teeth, tidy his hair, and change his clothes, he wondered if the reason she had given him the narcotics in the first place was to impair his judgment and make him less dangerous. He didn’t know how to tell her that he didn’t have any fight left in him. She was a smart woman; he supposed she would simply figure it out.

There was no reason for her to take Felix to the aquarium. No reason except she was going to have to talk to him eventually, and she really wanted to go to the aquarium.

The facility was enormous. There was an entire outdoor section that was half garden, half wildlife sanctuary; the aquarium building itself had two floors and exhibits of ridiculous sizes and scales.

The first thing she hauled him to was the petting tank, where smaller sharks and rays swam in an oval-shaped pool for visitors to gently touch.

“Two fingers,” she said, before reaching down to stroke along the back of a passing shark. After pausing to remove the rings from his right hand, one of which she recognized as hers, Felix reached into the pool as well.

“They’re so smooth,” Felix muttered, his voice even and pleasant. It was peculiar to see him in a situation where he passed for a regular person.

“Right? At least, they are when you follow the rules and pet from front to back,” she said, feeling pretty pleasant herself. “I remember being so surprised when I first did this as a kid.”

Felix hummed in acknowledgment, touching a ray next. A smile turned the corners of his lips up. She cursed herself for thinking he was pretty. This man had tried to kill her twice. He didn’t get to be pretty. Then again, he had also written his surrender in his own blood, so maybe he was allowed to be a little pretty.

After they’d gotten their fill and washed their hands, they continued through the aquarium, peering at horseshoe crabs, eels, jellies. Finally, they passed through a few exhibits that grew progressively dimmer and eventually came to the ocean realm theater.

The ocean realm theater was exactly what it sounded like, where instead of a movie screen the tiered seating looked onto a massive pane of glass the size of one. It was just one window into the largest tank in the entire aquarium, holding over seven hundred thousand gallons of water.

“Holy shit,” Felix muttered as they descended the steps to get closer. “How did this not terrify you when you were little?”

She laughed quietly. “Who says it didn’t? I had at least a couple vivid nightmares about the glass breaking and drowning before a shark could even get to me.”

“Gruesome,” he said, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asked him. “Do you need to sit for a while?”

“That would be nice,” he answered, and they moved back to find a seat while she checked her phone.

“Looks like one of the presentations will be starting in a little bit. We can stay for that, and you can use the time to rest,” she said, glancing at him. Even in the dim lighting, she caught the peculiar look he was giving her.

“You should want to see me suffer,” he said, averting his eyes.

“I have seen you suffer,” she said quietly. “I didn’t enjoy it.”

His gaze shifted back up to meet hers, and his remorse settled in her chest like a physical weight. He’d almost killed her, and she’d grievously wounded him in return. She wouldn’t apologize for it, but she hadn’t liked it, either. His eyes dipped to the floor before he turned his attention back to the tank. A hammerhead shark swam leisurely by.

“I can see why Hyun Jin likes you,” he said softly. “He’s always been attracted to kindness, as though by being near it he might make up for what he lacks. He’s had trouble in the past differentiating between ‘nice’ and ‘kind,’ though. I think he finally got it right with you.”

“I’m not that kind,” she deferred.

“Maybe not,” Felix said, “but you’re fair, and that feels like the same thing in this fucked up world of ours.”

She said nothing to that because there wasn’t anything to say. They let several minutes of silence tick past.

Finally, Felix broke it, his voice softer still, like he wasn’t sure he wanted her to hear. “I feel like you’re going to forgive me before I deserve it.”

She watched his side profile carefully. He gave nothing away, but he wouldn’t look at her. He sounded bone tired, his normally squared shoulders caving a little.

“I’ll try not to,” she said. He bowed his head a little at that. Mercifully, the presenter arrived then and started talking about sharks and sea turtles.

After they finished touring the aquarium, they went back to the Continental, where she offered to treat Felix to dinner.

“You said earlier this wasn’t a date, right?” Felix asked after they had put their orders in. “Or did I hallucinate that?”

“As much as I want to say you hallucinated it simply to fuck with your perception of reality, I’m not feeling particularly cruel today. It’s not a date. But it has been a nice day, and I do feel a little bad about leaving you cooped up in here,” she said.

“I think boredom is the least of the punishments you deserve to give me,” he said.

“You’ve already given me your entire databank and a Marker representing your blood oath to me. I’m not sure there’s much more I could do to punish you short of death or mutilation,” she said.

“Are you feeling terribly macabre today?” he asked in an even tone like they were talking about something trivial, like internet service providers.

“Not really,” she said just as flippantly.

“Then I live to die another day,” he said, sipping water through a straw. He knew better than to mix alcohol and narcotics. He did not know better than to push the limits of this tentative alliance.

“There’s something else that’s been bothering me,” he said after letting the quiet linger for a minute. She looked at him, inquisitive. “The night of the extraction operation, you sucked me off. But I still haven’t returned the favor, and I actually feel really bad about it.”

She laughed, bewildered. “You guys always have that one thing, don’t you?”

Felix stared at her, deeply confused. “What do you mean?”

“Like Hwang’s thing with cheaters. He literally kills people for a living, but he draws the line at infidelity. Then there’s you, who tried to kill me not once but twice, and the thing you feel bad about is being perceived as a selfish lover? It’s madness,” she said.

“To be fair,” Felix said, sobering a little more, “I also feel bad about trying to kill you. Hence the blood oath.”

She watched him closely, probably looking for any sign of deceit. She wouldn’t find any.

“You know I don’t need anything of the sort from you, right? I have two perfectly functional men at home that give great head,” she said.

“Of course I know that. I wouldn’t delude myself into thinking you need anything from me, sexual or otherwise. I just wanted you to know that should you want to even the score, I’m willing,” he said. Her gaze was steel.

“You must realize how suspicious that sounds. The last time you tried to kill me we were literally in bed together. Why would I trust you enough to be vulnerable in front of you ever again?” she demanded.

“Don’t trust me, then,” he said, the easiest answer in the world. “Just cuff me or something.”

He could have sat there and feigned nonchalance, but they both knew he’d had nothing but too much time to think about things over the last several days.

Something in her eyes sharpened, darkened, giving away her interest as she leaned back in her seat. “I’ll think about it,” she said. She then promptly took out her phone and typed for a minute. Probably fielding opinions from Hyun Jin and I.N. Felix didn’t have a full grasp on their exact relationship dynamic, but it made sense to him that they would have full veto power, especially in a situation like this.

Their food came, and Felix focused on that, giving her the mental time and space she deserved.

“If we’re going to be working together for the foreseeable future,” she said eventually, changing the subject, “then we’re going to have to figure out somewhere to put you up other than here.”

“I can talk to Hyun Jin,” Felix said. “He’s probably looking into getting a place around here so he can be closer to you while on this side of the world. Maybe he and I could be roommates again.”

“You two used to live together?” she asked, incredulous. Felix supposed that made sense; when she’d first come into contact with them they’d already been feuding.

“Yeah,” Felix said. “We used to do a lot of things together.”

She hummed in acknowledgment but didn’t pry. Felix appreciated it.

When Felix unlocked the door to his suite and let Blackbox inside, he honestly couldn’t believe it was happening. He closed the door, bolted it, and watched her stride to the bed like this was her room and he was the visitor.

“Do you even have cuffs?” she asked skeptically, perching on the bed and crossing her legs at the knee.

“Not with me,” he said. “I packed light and that was the last thing I thought I was going to need.”

“Oh well,” she said. “We’ll just have to make do.”

“Do you know how to do cuffs with a belt?” he asked her. She snorted.

“Of course I do.”

He unbuckled his belt, crossing the room while pulling it through the loops. He handed it to her, and she looked him up and down for a moment before taking it.

“What’s your safe word?” she asked.

“Ryzen,” he said. She laughed out loud.

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Yeah,” he said, his lips pulling into a grin. “Nothing is more deeply unsexy than mentioning computer parts mid-fuck. It’s literally guaranteed to make it all stop.”

“How often does it make people want to not fuck you in the first place?” she teased, twisting his belt in her hands, forming double-loop cuffs like she’d done it a hundred times before. She had the air of an experienced domme, and she clearly had a lot of sex, so Felix wouldn’t have been surprised if that was the case.

“Most people don’t recognize the name. More people know about the Intel processor line, but not as many are familiar with AMD. Now, if my safe word was Pentium I’d probably get a much stronger reaction. I’m kind of surprised you knew the Ryzen series right off,” he said.

“I know everything. It’s my job,” she said, trying to suppress her grin. “Now stop talking and get naked, you big nerd.”

Maybe he should have felt embarrassed, stripping all the way down while she watched his every move, but this woman had already swallowed his cum once so it felt like a pointless reaction. He dropped his clothes into a pile at the foot of the bed, and when he turned his attention back to her, she was looking him over with a gaze meant to devour.

Peculiar, since tonight was supposed to be the other way around.

She stood up and walked a slow circle around him, surveying him from every angle. Despite his resolution, that kind of attention made his ears flush pink, luckily hidden by his shaggy blond hair. He wondered how he stacked up to Hyun Jin and I.N in her eyes.

Coming to a stop in front of him, she held up the cuffs she’d made from his belt and he obediently slipped his wrists into the loops. She adjusted the fit, testing the band with her finger on each side to make sure it didn’t bite into his skin.

Even so, she still asked, “Is it too tight?”

He shook his head. “No. It feels fine.”

“Good,” she said, and then she started to strip. For what Felix meant to do, she really didn’t need to take off as much as she did. A minute later, the only thing that remained on her body was a black racerback bra that made her cleavage look amazing.

“Fuck,” Felix muttered. As far as torment went, this was a damn good option.

She settled a pillow on the floor next to the bed for his knees, and then glanced at him one more time, taking in his half-hard length in the process.

“You get off on serving?” she asked him.

“I get off on my partner’s happiness,” he amended. The left corner of her mouth picked up at that.

“Come here, Yong Bok.”

He knelt on the pillow.

“When was your last dose of oxy?” she asked him.

“Hours ago, before we left for the aquarium,” he answered, gazing up at her.

“Will you take another half for me now?”

He nodded, not bothering to ask why. If she wanted to put him through his paces, he wouldn’t complain. She plucked the bottle off the nightstand and placed the tiny half-moon on his tongue. He swallowed it.

“Have you ever had sex on narcotics before?” she asked next. He shook his head, unable to take his eyes off her. When he’d said he was surrendering, he’d meant it.

“No,” he said. She chuckled.

“I’ll make sure you have a good experience.”

“I thought this was about you,” he murmured.

“It’ll certainly start that way,” she said, fanning her legs open for him.

He didn’t have to be verbally convinced. An eager throb went through his length as he leaned forward to swipe long licks up her center, acquainting himself with her taste. He made a soft sound of approval. The taste of her heat forced him to recall the taste of her tongue, which made him think of the blowjob she’d given him. His cock twitched up again, the memory of that night (before he’d ruined it) making her taste that much sweeter, his determination to please her that much more intense.

He delved his tongue into her pussy, making her moan sweetly, alternating his efforts between her cunt and her clit, eager to make her unwind. He knew it would take time and considerable effort, but that didn’t deter or intimidate him; if anything, he relished the opportunity to grovel like this. What she’d said earlier had been true—she didn’t need him. So her consenting to be with him at all had to mean something, and he didn’t want to fuck up.

By concentrating on the sounds she made, on the flinching of her thighs, on her fingers in his hair, he quickly learned what she liked and kept the pressure up. It would have been easier if he’d been able to use his hands, but she didn’t want this to be easy on him, and that was just as well. Having to work this hard to please made him all the more desperate to do it, to prove that he could.

When she came, it was extremely obvious. Not only did her sounds completely change, her hips fidgeting against his mouth, but her taste shifted slightly, just enough for him to know what a good job he’d done. He curled his tongue inside her to take what he’d earned, which had the added bonus of stimulating her further, prolonging the orgasm. Finally, she started to taper and he pulled back. His face was damp with her wet, and he didn’t care. He stared up at her, waiting for direction.

She brushed his hair out of his eyes, her gaze doing a slow sweep of him. His darkened eyes, his glistening chin, his bound wrists, and finally his aching erection. Her attention lingered there, her eyebrows rising slightly. He looked down at himself to see what had prompted that reaction, only to flush when he noticed. Not only was his tip leaking pre-cum, but it had drooled so profusely that a little puddle had formed on the pillow below him.

“You want me that badly?” she asked him, her voice so soft, the opposite of what he’d expected. He looked up at her again.

“Yes,” he answered honestly. What point was there in lying when the evidence was so obvious?

“Do you think you deserve it?” she asked next.

“No,” he answered without hesitation. A faint smile ghosted against her lips.

“Good boy,” she said. Crossing her legs at the knee again, she took the tissue box off the nightstand and started cleaning up his face. Felix let his eyes close halfway, enjoying the tender attention.

“How are you feeling?” she asked him.

“Fine,” he said.

“No pain anywhere?”

“No pain,” he confirmed. He felt a little lightheaded, but that had nothing to do with his physical durability.

“Would you like to keep going?”

“Yes,” he said, opening his eyes to meet hers. “Please.”

She stood and disposed of the tissues, then pulled the case off one of the pillows, winding it in her hands until it resembled a rope. “Lie down on the bed, Felix.”

He did as she said, not an ounce of fight in him as she tied his bound wrists to the headboard above him. “You know how to make this all stop,” she reminded as she checked the tightness, ensuring he couldn’t escape. Felix appreciated the check-in.

“I don’t want it to stop,” he said. She toyed with the rose gold band on his right ring finger, her first acknowledgment of him wearing the ring she’d left on his finger the night she’d knocked him out, the night he’d tried to smother her.

“I suppose you wouldn’t,” she said, thoughtful. Then she kissed him, and Felix melted. She pressed her tongue into his mouth, no doubt tasting herself, and he moaned. He was unable to hold still, his hips twitching up, but she was positioned in such a way that he couldn’t rub his cock on any part of her, couldn’t get any friction, any relief.

“Poor baby,” she said, drawing back. The kindness from a few minutes ago was gone; Felix was equally attracted to both halves of her. Pampering or punishment, he didn’t care so long as he had her attention. “If only you could use your cock on something.”

“Please,” he moaned. Her attention was split between his length and his face, his cock twitching whenever she looked at it.

“Please what?” she asked, meeting his eyes.

“Please use me,” he said. “Please treat me like a human dildo. Please use my body to get off. It’s there and ready and begging for you, so please just take it.”

She brushed his hair aside and kissed him again. Then she took her bra off as she straddled his hips. He sighed raggedly, his only regret that he couldn’t touch or taste her tits now that they were free.

“I’m going to hold you to that,” she said, her cunt dangerously close to the head of his cock now. He fidgeted, but she’d accounted for it, staying just barely out of reach. He whined in frustration. “A good toy would stay hard until I’m finished . . . A good toy won’t come in the middle of my fun and ruin it . . . Do you understand?”

“Yes,” he said. “I won’t come without permission. I’ll be good.”

He said it confidently, but with how badly he wanted her, he wasn’t certain it was a promise he could actually keep.

She sank down onto him bit by slick, glorious bit, and both the sight and feeling of it drew a throaty moan out of him. She showed off for him after that, drawing all the way up and sliding all the way down, giving him a flawless view of her cunt swallowing his cock. He was already feeling dizzy, whether from his arousal or the narcotics kicking in or some combination he couldn’t be sure, and he almost couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

His expression must have said as much because she laughed softly. “I hope you’re aware of how lucky you are,” she said. He nodded, managing to rip his gaze away from the place their bodies met long enough to look her in the face.

“I’m well aware,” he said. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you.”

It was a loaded statement, but a true one. He was acutely aware not only of the pleasure of her on his cock, but of the way she refused to use his torso for support, the way she was doing her best to keep her weight off him, relying wholly on her own strength. After everything he’d put her through, she was trying not to hurt him.

He wasn’t sure how much pain she could have caused him right then anyway, blitzed as he was, but her efforts didn’t go unnoticed. It was consideration he felt he hadn’t earned yet craved all the same.

“Will you kiss me again?” he asked impulsively. She blinked, caught off guard, but leaned over him, moving one hand from where it’d been planted onto the bed to cup the back of his neck and claim his lips with hers. He moaned at that, enveloping her lips as ardently as he could, flirting with the idea of his tongue, surprised when she let him slip it into her mouth. She kept rocking on his cock the entire time.

When they finally broke apart there was spit connecting their lips. Felix felt dazed. She remained leaning over his body, enjoying the angle, continuing to fuck herself back onto him. She didn’t slow down, not a single stutter in her hips, just an onslaught of hard, deep strokes.

With a distant sense of alarm, Felix realized he wasn’t going to be able to take it. Somewhere between the painkillers and the pleasure and his inability to move or get away, his mind and body both felt on the verge of shattering.

And he liked it.

He started to struggle.

“You’re gonna make me come,” he protested, trying to shift his hips to lessen her pressure, but it was no use, not with his arms strung up the way they were. “You told me not to come without permission but you’re going to make me do it anyway, you’re going to force me.”

“Don’t you fucking dare, Felix,” she warned, her eyes sharp on his face, though her voice wasn’t unkind. He trusted her to honor his safe word, but he didn’t want to use it. He liked feeling out of control, fully at the mercy of someone else.

“I’m trying,” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut. The sensation of her around his cock was intense, addling his already scrambled thoughts. “Fuck I’m trying but I can’t— I can’t—”

“Figure it the fuck out, Felix,” she said, her voice a little harsher now, slipping further into her own role as Felix drowned in his. “I’m not done with you so don’t you dare come inside me.”

Felix wasn’t aware of when he’d started to tear up, but when he opened his eyes to look at her again, they ran down his face unbidden. “Please, I can’t stop it, you have to stop,” he begged. Her expression was unmoved as she gazed down at him, no hesitation in her, forcing his cock as deeply inside her as she could. Her expression repeated what she’d said earlier: You know how to make this all stop.

But he didn’t want it to, and she wouldn’t break the character of the scene by saying it out loud a second time.

“Stop, I’m—”

And that was the end of him. With tears streaming down his face, his eyes rolled back in his skull, his hips twitching up violently against her. The sounds he made were guttural, animal. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d come this hard, his orgasm tearing through his whole body, making him shake. Still she didn’t stop, riding him hard through his orgasm, driving him mad with stimulation. That’s when he heard her whine, coupled with the feeling of her cunt spasming around his cock telling him she’d found her orgasm, too.

But Felix only barely registered any of that. He was too far gone.

She was never going to recover from seeing Felix cry. At first, she thought it was simply because he was a gorgeous crier, but as they came down from their orgasms and he didn’t calm in the slightest, she realized this had to do with a lot more than just sex.

It had happened to her before, where an exceptionally demanding sex session had opened the floodgates for every emotion she’d been keeping inside for weeks or more, bawling her eyes out long after the high had passed. She recognized it in Felix now for what it was.

She pulled off him, both of them dripping, trembling messes, and quickly undid his restraints. She guided his arms back down to their proper position and immediately started rubbing his shoulders and extremities to soothe any stiffness or numbness he may have sustained. Felix couldn’t take his eyes off her while she did it, but he couldn’t pull himself together, either, and that was fine.

“It’s okay, Felix,” she murmured. “You’re all right. You’re safe. I promise you’re safe. Let it out, sweetheart.”

The pet name pulled a different kind of sob from him, and she drew him into her arms, where he promptly buried his face in her neck and cried harder. She ran soothing hands up and down his back, noticing with her touch for the first time the scar along his spine: the old bullet wound that had first devastated him.

“Please don’t make me sleep alone tonight,” he pleaded.

“I won’t,” she said without hesitation. “I would never leave you alone like this. I’m not going anywhere until you’re all right. I promised to take care of you, and I will.”

He nodded against her neck, pressing closer to her until he was basically in her lap. She couldn’t imagine pushing him away, not right now, and she tried not to think about the potentially far-reaching implications of that.

She let one hand play with his hair, murmuring placations to him until he started to calm down.

“We need to clean up now,” she said gently. “Can you handle taking a shower?”

“Not by myself,” he said. God, she hadn’t meant to fracture him so deeply.

“Of course not, lovely. I’ll be right there to help you,” she assured. He nodded and let her escort him to the washroom, but not before she’d grabbed a couple of water bottles from the mini-fridge. He guzzled his while she got the shower going.

Once they were comfortable in the water and steam, she gently took stock of him while she washed his body. She made sure he was clean of sex residue, of course, but looked over his scars and wounds, too. She was pleased to see his forearm healing nicely from where she’d bitten him weeks ago during their first altercation. She lifted his arm and gently kissed both sides of the closed wound.

She didn’t apologize because she wasn’t sorry about defending herself, but she hoped it was clear that she didn’t want to cause him any more pain. He looked at her then like she was the sun after a long night, and she wished he wouldn’t.

“Can I tell you something?” he said softly. He traded place with her, giving her time under the water, and leaned against the tiled shower wall.

“Of course,” she said. He looked at the floor for a moment, like he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to speak at all. She reached to brush his cheek with her fingertips and he looked at her again. “You can tell me.”

“While you were infiltrating Lee Know’s ranks . . . Before you got caught . . . I wished I had gotten to you before Hyun Jin did,” he said. “During the extraction op, while we were on watch together . . . I never should have tried to hurt you. Not just because it was wrong, but because I liked you . . . I felt twice as upset because I liked you. I liked you, and Hyun Jin replaced me with you and I.N, and I didn’t know how to handle it, so I tried to shut my brain off and just follow orders. But I’m happy you stopped me. I’m happy Hyun Jin has you. And I’m happy for whatever time I’m able to be near you both, in whatever role you need me to play. It doesn’t matter to me. I just . . . I don’t want to be alone again.”

It was so much more than she expected, so much more than she felt equipped to handle. So instead she moved closer to him and gently kissed his forehead, his starry cheeks, his lips.

“We’ll figure it out,” she said, because it was the only thing she knew for sure. “We’re in this together now . . . I don’t want to hurt you anymore, and I don’t think you want to hurt me, either.”

“I don’t,” he confirmed, and he looked so earnest, so remorseful, that it almost thawed her heart. “You don’t know how relieved I am that I didn’t succeed . . . I’ve never been so happy to fail at something in my entire life.”

She smiled, chuckling a little. “That makes two of us,” she said, as though she wasn’t joking about her life itself.

When they got out of the shower, she helped Felix dry off, relieved that he seemed to be coming back to himself. They got dressed and she ordered food up to his suite, and they ate sitting atop the bed (minus the topmost blanket, which was basically ruined).

“I’m feeling a lot better now,” Felix said as they finished up their meal. “You don’t have to stay with me if you don’t want to.”

“I said I would stay, so I’ll stay,” she said. “Unless you really want me to go, that is. I’ll respect your wishes either way.”

“I don’t want to sleep alone,” he reiterated. The way he looked at her was so vulnerable, and she got the idea she could have tried to stab him with her fork and he wouldn’t have put much effort into fighting her off.

“Then I’ll stay.”

After letting Jeong In and Hyun Jin know she wouldn’t be coming home that night and why (which Jeong In seemed deeply uncertain about), she quickly discovered Felix liked to cuddle. Once they were under the sheets, he wanted to be as close to her as possible. Maybe he hadn’t fully recovered, after all. Or maybe this was just the way he truly was underneath his killer’s veneer.

“Is this okay?” he asked her. They were curled close together, face to face, with their legs tangled and Felix’s head resting on her arm. Her free hand trailed gingerly along his bare side, and he shivered a little, his eyes looking abruptly shy.

“It’s okay,” she confirmed. “As long as it doesn’t aggravate your back.”

“It’s fine,” he assured. “I’d tell you if it wasn’t.”

“Wake me if you need anything,” she said. He nodded, before shifting his body a little so he could tuck his head under her chin.

“Good night,” he said, his breath warm against her sternum, “and thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she murmured, fighting the desire to bury her nose in his hair.

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