#telling teens completely incorrect and wrong information

[violentviolette]

"telling someone incorrect information about a media franchise will never have the same potential for harm the way telling someone incorrect information about their mental health or illness or their loved ones murder will and i think its important to keep that perspective in these discussions. especially because i think the blurred line between media and real world topics, and people consuming real world topics the same way they do media, and treating them like they're essentially the same and approach researching them in the same way is a big part of this problem." I've been saying this for ages you are so real for this. It's genuinely a big issue that people have grown the tendency to compare every form of media that they consume to real life issues, which then desensitizes them to said real life issues. It's a big issue that people compare content relating to fictional characters who do not exist and are not sentient as on the same level as real, living and breathing people. Is it annoying when people mix fanon with canon to the point that the entire message behind a media has lost itself ? Yes, it very much is. But does that loss harm anyone on a physical, mental, emotional or psychological level ? Nowhere close. This technological age makes me so uneasy because of the ever increasing comparison of media to real life events, and the continuous belief that "fiction affects reality" + "fiction = reality." If fiction *does* genuinely affect reality, then that would mean violent video games inherently make someone violent and horror movies inherently make someone a murderer. I say that: if you already struggle with anger issues, exposing yourself to more violent forms of media without critical consumption will obviously worsen the symptoms, along with horror movies giving you ideas on how to kill that one relative you've fantasized killing for the past half decade—the only thing that affects reality are idiots who lack critical thinking. A comparison I can think of that people bring up to debate that "fiction affects reality" are the trends of fictional cats and rabbits consuming milk and carrots respectively. It's so silly because if you're planning to become a parent to an animal, it is your JOB to do research into that animal's diet, livelihood, habitat, body language etcetera. Why are you trusting the livelihood of a talking cartoon character ? Sorry for the long ask, but what you said is so important and I hope people adopt that mindset more, especially with this growing technological social media age.

no apologies neccessary anon u are absolutely correct and u should say it

media should not be where people are getting actual real life applicaple information. *no one* should look at a work of fiction in any form and just assume that whats being said or done is accurate information that they can just apply to their real life. and the same goes the other way around. when u want to research mental health topics or world history or a science, no one should be approaching it the same way as digging through their favorite shows wiki.

but there's been this huge kind of like. fandomification of social justice and social science and other topics like this where instead of understanding the critical nuance of these things and approaching them with a research minded perspective and an understanding of the nuance needed because so many things in real life are contradictory and complex and have eons of context, people approach them like tv shows. they think if they just read enough information and consume enough of the "content" surrounding it then they'll be able to fully understand and grasp them and then be able to educate others about them as some kind of authority and it just makes me want to scream from the rooftops that *thats not how any of this works*

the desensitization thing is also so real. u genuinely cannot have a single conversation about a real world topic without someone bringing up media and i dont know how else to nicely tell people that that is in no way relevent and actually actively harmful. trying to relate everything in life back to media and not being able to talk about a topic without including media will genuinely rot ur brain because it completely desensitizes u to the issue of harm. being wrong about media will never ever have the same impact that being wrong about mental health or physical health or animal welfare or public wellbeing will

#jack.speaks #anon #the original thing that prompted me to make that post was someone who was literally in mental health discord servers #telling teens completely incorrect and wrong information #about mental illnesses they thought they might have #and essentially misdiagnosing kids #and when i was like hey so ur completely wrong and what ur doing is really dangerous and potentially harmful to these ppl #they were like well my special interest is personalitty disorders so i know what im talking about #like!! bruh u are not a doctor because u read 20 wikipedia articles my guy!! #and then when i did criticize that response someone told me that i should at least be giving them credit and not devalue the hard work #they put in to learn that #and its like that is deranged!!! im not going to praise someone for spreading complete horseshit because their ego told them #that theyre essentially a dr now cause they did a lot of googling

[phalacrocoraxdreams]

as a child i read a lot and listened to adults speak and generally knew a lot of things, more than most kids, and its like my parents completely forgot or never realized that i was still a child and that they were one of my primary sources of information about the world and certainly thee primary source of information about our family and our plans. they wouldnt tell us anything and yet they somehow expected me to know everything—many times they would have planned a day trip or a vacation or just an outing that i was involved in and they told my siblings but they did not tell me until the day before or the day of because they assumed i would “just know.” (an extremely stressful and upsetting pattern for an autistic child, but i wasnt allowed to be upset about it.) or they would tell me the wrong information then get upset with me for acting on it or for being upset when i found out the information was incorrect. it felt totally unpredictable whether or not i knew the right things and i didnt trust my perceptions of the world because of heavy gaslighting so i was permanently confused and terrified that anyone would find out that i was confused because of course i was also not allowed to ask questions or for clarification, and i was not allowed to show confusion or struggle to understand how to do things (of course i did struggle but i got really good at hiding it from everyone because i knew i was not supposed to ask questions.)

when i was a teen i would get so angry when people asked clarifying questions because dont you know thats not allowed? dont you know how to just figure it out as you go along? dont you know to just go along??? :(

[barkkletshunt]

Those Worth Fighting For Part seven

Part one          Part two

Part three        Part four

Part five           Part six

Part Seven (You’re here)       Part eight 

Taglist:

@ladybug-182 @fruit-snacc-ace @miraculous-simmer7 @lavenderjunes 

@use-flamethrower @fan-written @all-mights-asscheeks @birdie-posts

Sorry if the tags aren’t working, I tried and I’m not sure where I went wrong with it? 

If I have time the next part will come out with some art! Don’t expect the art to be any good though lol

“So then, I go to the window and there is Adrien on Kagami’s front lawn with a big sign that says prom on it, and by the way neither of us knew he was going to be in France at all. It was a total surprise. So I’m so shocked my mind completely blanks out and I shout down to him that yes, I’ll go to prom with him. He yells back ‘tall Kagami’ and I turn around and just ‘your boyfriend just asked to go to prom with me.’ Without skipping a beat she leans out of the window and tells him he’s too late, she already asked me.” Marinette laughed, wiping a stray tear from her eye that began to form from how hard she was trying to not burst into a fit of giggles until the story ended. “In the end the three of us went to prom together.”

The four around the table shook their heads. “Mari, dude, if you can’t get through that story without laughing how are you supposed to do your toast?”

“I’ll just practice it a lot until it’s no longer funny to me, simple. I’m not even going to worry about it anymore.” The blue haired girl shrugged. When she was younger she would have worried about that, but she was long since past that. At least, she hoped she was. She had done enough interviews with Alya in her teen years, and then enough speeches as Ladybug to fill her with a confidence she lacked as a teen. She was nervous, but instead of the all consuming nervousness that would make her fumble and trip over her words it was now an excited nervousness. She was excited about it. 

“I think you’ll do fine,” Felix winked at her, his face never changing from the impartial look he had on since he came into the restaurant.

They all had made their way back to the same place after the amok, even if Felix was late once again. The blond had made his excuses of needing to take care of some errands that he had forgotten, but it hadn’t mattered much to any of them. Marinette had saved a seat next to her for him and he was more than happy to take it.

“Why not talk about the moment you realized those two were perfect for each other?” Nathaniel asked, playing with the straw in his drink. “I know you have a million stories about that.”

“Something like Adrien saving Kagami from a bully, or a dance of just the two of them where they lock eyes and suddenly the whole room disappears?” Marc hummed, their author brain going into overdrive at the thought of romance. “Maybe you saw him protect her against an akuma or amok?”

Marinette thought for a moment. What was it that made her realize that they belonged together? After all those years fawning over Adrien, it was Kagami’s love for him that made her step down, but what was the exact moment? 

“It was at Chloe’s fifteenth birthday party.” Marinette started, recalling the time before Hawkmoth had lost and her world began to fall apart and fix itself simultaneously. “Adrien’s dad thought it would be a good idea for Kagami to go with him and keep an eye on his son, and they started the evening miserable because the paparazzi outside the hotel told them that they always looked so perfect that it made sense that they would be perfect together. I only got to spend a few minutes with them before being pulled away by Chloe, but when I went to find them and bring them some hot chocolate they were on the roof ruffling each other's hair and talking about anime, and goofing around like I hadn’t seen either of them do before.” 

“They saw that the other understood their background and chose to help break out of that image with each other and just be kids.” Felix’s words surprised her, but he understood exactly what had happened. 

“They were so embarrassed when they saw me that I challenged them both to hot chocolate drinking contests to ease the awkwardness. They didn’t even realize I didn’t have one for myself before chugging theirs and burning their mouths at the same time.” Her two messy friends meant the world to her, and she knew no one would understand them like they understood each other. Both of them had strict parents that would only let them escape and be kids when they were with the other, and they took those opportunities and made every moment count. They were what each other needed, and then when they got their freedoms they were still the ones they chose. “I think that’s also when they stopped acting perfect in front of me. Adrien really started to bug me to watch anime so he could talk about it with someone other than his girlfriend, and Kagami soon demanded to be my dress up doll because she never got to do that growing up. They became my best friends and honestly, I think I’m better for it too.”

“How romantic.” Marc swooned, leaning against Nathaniel who caught his significant other with a laugh. “Childhood friends, to rivals, to lovers. 50K slowburn.”

“Once there was an akuma trying to hurt Adrien and Kagami picked up the nearest weapon she could find and just went at ‘em and I have never seen Adrien’s face light up like that. The boy just wants to be loved and protected.” Nino joined in. “Alya and I were shocked, we both had our money on Adrien ending up with someone else, but we’re both happy about it. Speaking of which, I gotta update her on what’s going on here. She’ll flip.”

Felix shifted in his seat, catching Marinette’s eye as Nathaniel and Marc continued talking about Kagami and Adrien’s relationship. He wasn’t there for all those moments, he wasn’t a long term friend of everyone so he didn’t know Alya or Chloe and she wouldn’t doubt it if he had felt out of place in the conversation. 

“Pst,” she scooted herself over, getting closer to him and leaning over to whisper at him. “You look nice today.”

Felix blinked in surprise. Within seconds his face was growing warm and he used his hand to cover the lower half of his face as inconspicuously as possible. “Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to say that, Miss. Dupain-Cheng?”

“I’m afraid I beat you to it, Mr. Graham De Vanily.” She whispered back. “But it’s okay, you might get me next time.”

How long had it been since she was able to flirt with someone without losing herself in the what-if’s and teenaged anxiety that had plagued her? How had one battle fighting side by side with Ryuko, Alley Cat, and the others given her so much confidence that she hadn’t had even during the fight itself? Was it that damned cat’s words? He had unknowingly complimented her to her face and she was still beaming with pride over being called brilliant. Being complimented on her looks was nice, but the way he had complimented her on her mind was something else. She supposed that was what did it, after all. Being told that she was great because of who she was and not because of how she looked filled her with a pride she didn’t even want to describe lest it dampened the feeling inside her chest. 

“Well then, until next time, you look wonderful. You’re outfit choice is on point, as always.” His comment hit straight to her heart. There it was again. A comment on something she chose being good. “And although you are trying to start a fire with my face, I am enjoying this time with you away from colour pallets and order forms. I like seeing this other side of you, Marinette.”

“I’d like to say the same thing, but it has come to my attention that you seem to only wear suits, Felix. This is the same side of you I always see.” She couldn’t help her grin. There was a strange formal banter between them that she found exhilarating. In it’s own way it made her feel like part of the aristocratic world that he and Adrian and Kagami belonged to, without having to deal with the fakeness that the latter two often complained about. “Dare I say, I don’t believe you own anything that isn’t a suit.”

“I’d hate to inform you of this, but you’re incorrect on that front.” Felix moved the hand that was covering his face to let himself rest his chin upon it. “I do, and I’d prefer it if you don’t go to the press with this, own a few sets of pajamas.”

“And are they silk and made to look like a suit?” She asked, now leaning against him to softly poke at his arm. “I bet you had them custom made so that you would never appear unprofessional.” 

“Well, well, aren’t you curious to see my pajamas? Shame you won’t get to see them until our fourth date.” Felix leaned his head against hers, and her heart began to race. 

“So, are you two actually a thing?” Nino’s voice broke them out of their moment. Marinette and Felix realized how it must have looked to the others and immediately sat straight in their seats. 

Nathaniel elbowed Nino in the ribs. “Dude!”

“What? I’m just trying to clear things up for my daily Alya report.” Nino tried to defend himself from the onslaught of hands trying to hit him from Marc and Nathaniel. “It gets complicated sometimes and you know my girl won’t let anything rest until she has all the info!”

“If Miss. Dupain-Cheng would like to, as you put it, actually be a thing, then I would be honoured to.” He said it so simply that Marinette wasn’t sure why she had hesitated before. He did like her. 

“Only if you wear your pajamas to our next late night planning session.” Marinette wasn’t willing to let the pajamas slide. “I have to see you out of a suit before we get all lovey dovey. It’s a rule.”

“Did you make that rule just for me?”

“Of course.”

“Well, don’t I feel special.” Felix thought to himself, making a bit of a show of it as he tossed his head side to hide. His braid that previously rested on his shoulder now swinging back and forth behind him, looking like a cat's tail as it got ready to play. “I think I have room to negotiate here, so if I may I am going to put the added condition that you must also wear your pajamas.”

“I don’t think this is supposed to be a business transaction, dude,” Nino tried, but Marinette held her hand up. She could negotiate. 

“I’ll accept those terms on the condition that you buy coffee, and we get to watch a movie together with some popcorn.” Marinette raised her brow, daring Felix to try to get a better deal out of her. 

“If I am purchasing coffee, popcorn, and a movie, then I will push for some baked goods from your parents bakery.” Felix held out his hand. “Well?”

“You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Graham De Vanily, but I accept your terms.” Marinette took his hand and shook it. That was the most fun she had ever had while figuring out plans for a date, and she knew she’d have more fun watching the movie with Felix than she just did. “A movie date in our pajamas with snacks it is.”

“I’ll pick you up friday night at eight?” 

“I can’t wait to see your suit pajamas.”

“I bet you have frills on yours.”

“And you don’t?”

#felix x marinette #felinette #fanon felix #felix graham de vanily #Marinette #marinette dupain cheng #marc anciel #nathaniel kurtzberg #Nino lahiffe #adrigami #adrien x kagami #Those worth fighting for #twff

[wizkiddx]

Forget the world

I really really hope everyones okay at the moment. The world is truly fucking shit, but sending all my love, and it is okay to feel completely done at this point (I do hence why I wrote this instead of meeting my deadlines :/)

Summary: readerxtomholland -- pure fluff when everything gets a bit much for Y/n

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

A third lockdown in the UK. More than 1000 deaths in a day. US capitol riots highlighting just how stark the white privilege is. The worlds a scary place and sometimes it gets too much. It’s good to be informed, to be politically and socially active, fighting the good fight… right? Well yes, but we are humans.

Humans are more complex than that. We ruminate we feel and we empathise. None of these issues have directly affected you, but that doesn't mean these things don’t hurt you - even a little. Bit by bit, a person can so easily get chipped away until there’s not a lot of fight left.

These daily 5 o’clock briefing, the prime minister in all his stupid oafish idiocy invading your living rooms with his persistent if oh so incorrect chat of ‘how well the UK has handled this crisis’. Then going on to spout more and more bad news. It was like a scheduled form of torture that Brits just had to through. And it just got a lot.

What didn’t help at all to you, was the fact your boyfriend was leaving for work again. You’d barely had him for two weeks before he was being whisked away in his private jet again. And even that time, it wasn’t really couple quality time… not by a long shot. Because of the complicated and ever-changing laws in the UK, you had both moved into his parents' house rather than being stuck just the two of you over Christmas. Don’t get the wrong impression, you lovvvveeeeeddddd his family - it was crazy, chaotic and infuriating in the best way.

That, however, didn’t get away from the fact you missed him. You missed lying in till the afternoon. You missed having breakfast for dinner after cooking it up in your skimpy pyjamas. You missed silence - of the two of you just coexisting. You missed your Tom.

SO fair to say you were not feeling particularly over-enthused on this overcast Tuesday morning. Somehow sensing this while you were still asleep, Tom chose not to wake you and instead crept out the room to go golfing with his brothers and dad for the last time before he left. Having woke up a couple of hours ago, you made the executive decision to just stay there - just feeling like the energy it’d take up to move was too torturous to expend. When Tom and the boys got back then, they immediately recounted the whole experience to Nikki - Harry showing off at his particularly good round - before Tom naturally started searching for you. His mum, being almost psychic, instantly noticed and just shook her head over Harry’s droning voice as she pointed upstairs. And with a thankful nod, he snuck away - if anything grateful for the escape.

“Love…. Love?” Tom hesitantly crept into the room, your body facing away and still wrapped like a burrito in the duvet. You rolled over and gave him a small smile, to which he grinned at and immediately leapt on to the bed. Land directly on your stomach. With force. You let out an ‘ooof’ as his not so petite body knocked all the air out of you, making you groan and recoil to your side as he laughed pitifully at you. “I missed you” He just grinned, worming his way from lying horizontally across you until he was lying completely on top of you his chin resting on your chest bone as he smiled at you. “And you thought you’d jump on me to show that?” “I couldn’t help it you just looked so peaceful” You quirked your head, not seeing his point. “And your not allowed to look like that without me!” He huffed, finally rolling off you as you giggled at his stupidity. “But seriously you good? Its 12 and you’ve not moved yet.” “Mhmm just… just.” “You're just just?” He teased, now leaning up on his elbow as he smiled down at you. “Exactly. I just can’t deal with today.” You sighed as you spoke, looking up to him with eyes as if asking him to help. It made his jokey and teasing demeanour take a serious turn, his eyebrows furrowing as he really inspected your face - as if trying to the find the answer written in small print under your nose. He whispered a ‘what do you mean’ asking you to go on. “I don’t know …it’s just lockdown and America and…and you going. I’m just self-pitying really.” “No” Tom stated rather adamantly, as he sat up and then pulled you up by the arms earning yet another groan from you as he interrupted your cocoon of warmth. “You're allowed to feel shitty because it is all actually very shitty indeed.” You rolled your eyes at that, even if you did agree because you didn’t want to be the mopey desperate girlfriend who can’t handle when he goes away. “Y/n/n I’m serious. The news and everything… it’s a lot and you're allowed to feel like you can’t comprehend whats going on.” In response you just nodded, averting your eyes away from his because, for no real reason at that moment, his eye contact seemed to be forcing you to cry. But the boy did not let up. Instead, he crawled up to you, his legs sandwiching yours as he kneeled in front of you. “And… I’m going to miss you a lot when I go.” Tom gently pushed your chin up so his locked eyeline with your watery ones that instantly started to overflow. Tom murmured an ‘oh love’ as he threw his arms around you, letting you cry into his shoulder - most probably ruining his new fancy golf shirt.

You stayed like that for some time, him gently hushing you and stroking the back of your messy bed head. Until you’d finally calmed into little hiccups and Tom arched back. He cupped his hands around your cheeks, his thumbs brushing away your tear tracks. “Let's have a just us day huh? We can… forget the world.” “Forget the world?” Your laugh was a little wet and sad sounding but it was music to Tom’s ears and only spurred him on more. “Yeh! Fuck the world. It’s just you and me and we can do whatever you want!” “You’re stupid” you just giggled, trying to hide your face because he had you blushing like a lovestruck teen… which was exactly how he made you feel. “I know! So come on what should we do… movie or something isn’t right because you still can think about- I got it!” He leapt off you and started looking around the room, first pulling the chair out from its position in the corner and then whipping the duvet cover off your legs. “TOM! what-“ “We are building a fort!” And his stupid grin said it all. It took next to no convincing before you were running downstairs with him, ransacking the sitting room of all blankets (earning you some comically quizzical gazes from his Dad and Sam) before running back up.

This stupid stupid boy that you had to pleasure of calling your boyfriend had you revert to a seven-year-old as the two of you attempted to construct this fort. Attempted being the keyword, it kept collapsing when one of you accidentally stubbed your toe on the chair holding all the structural integrity of your creation (*Tom). However, after a ridiculous amount of attempts you were adding the piste de resistance - aka fairy lights - to the interior while Tom set up a game of Harry Potter monopoly on the next floor you’d made.

And that’s how you burned the day away; laughing whilst getting overly competitive at your Harry Potter knowledge; ordering pizza that you forced Harry to delivery to the entrance of your fort from the front door (you even managed to make Harry knock on the makeshift blanket door, which had the two of you cracking up no end); generally just being stupid together. Before you knew it, the time had ticked to half eleven and the both of you knew it was time to bed down for the night. With a sigh, signifying the beginning of the end of Tom’s last day in the UK, you went to crawl out of the fort - expect your boyfriend had other plans. Rather, he yanked you back towards him so you almost fell into his front and then proceeded to roll you both, so now you were lying flat on the ground while he leaned above you. “You … little miss… are not going anywhere.” You hummed at him about to ask why, before being rudely interrupted as he pressed his lips against yours. You didn't fight it though, immediately relaxing into it and wrapping your legs round his waist to pull him impossibly closer. After a few moments, you broke the kiss staring up at him with the softest eyes. “Sorry I just had to stop you from ruining the moment.” He jibed, and again you went to scowl but were cut off by his soft lips on yours once again. Tom only pulled away when both of your lungs had started to burn a little, needing to come up for air. With a whisper telling you not to move, Tom bolted out the fort. You could hear him scurrying around in the room - to be honest, it sounded like he was ransacking it- before the big light was flicked off and he crawled back in in the darkness.

This time you’d learned your lesson, waiting patiently until he spoke first. “I got a surprise… it was uh- supposed to be for when I was already away but I think now works too” You couldn’t see his face through the darkness, but what you knew, either way, was the excitement that’d be on his face - he loved revealing stuff like this to you because he is, as previously mentioned a child. And then he flicked the switch and the interior of the tent was illuminated by a pattern of stars, projecting upwards and swirling around on the blanket roof. The sight had you audible gasping, this time the dim light it gave meaning Tom could see your eyes widen in delight. “Tom its-“ “Not as beautiful as you.”

Hell, you knew how fucking corny this was. And how if any of your mates ever recounted the story you’d be recoiling is dismay at the cliche-ness of it. But at that moment you swore your heart could burst, looking between the twinkling projections and Tom’s dimly glowing features - the blue light bouncing off his cheekbones and making him look just even more divine. “We are sleeping here tonight because I just don’t want this moment to end” You whispered making Tom chuckle as he lay back down next to you, letting you curl into his side and resting your head on his chest - so you were watching the swirling walls whilst listening to his heartbeat. “This fort… will always be ours.” He spoke lowly, reaching for your hands and entwining his fingers with yours slowly. “I’m going to mis-“ “Shhhhh” He blocked you from finishing the phrase, pressing a kiss to the top of your head before continuing. “ Don’t forget we’re forgetting the world yeh? It’s just you and me.” “Just you and me isn’t half bad.” You whispered, using your thumb to draw little meaningless patterns on the top of his palm. “No… not half bad at all.” His voice was so quiet, so calming he barely even used his voice - rather just breathing the words out as he squeezed you into his chest. You knew he was trying to make you fall asleep. This is what he always did, a kiss to the head, his voice barely existing, him squeezing you just a little tighter. But you didn’t want to. Because that meant that he’d leave when you woke.

You desperately tried to fight the waves of relaxation, trying to pay attention to each little swirl and tinkle of the projector but it was hypnotic, and that coupled with the steady beat of his heart had you soon losing the battle. Tom could tell you were fighting, Tom could always tell. So he gently shifted his arm under you baggy t-shirt, allowing Tom to trace little circles on your bare skin. That was enough to have force your eyes to become deadweights as they locked shut.

“I got you…I’ll still be here when you wake up” You hummed, pressing yourself into his side a little more. “‘hankyou for… for…” Tom grinned, knowing you weren’t going to make it to the end of the sentence. But that didn’t matter. At that moment, the only thing in the world that matters was having you in his arms.

“I’ll always forget the world when I’m with you.”

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #fluff

[anyu-blue]

So a friendship ended... But luckily in this case it's absence leaves room for better things to grow.

I was rambling in the tags of my previous reblog, but yeah...

'friend' decided that Empathy and Sympathy mean the same thing, that I am not, in fact, an empath/able to put myself in others' shoes/sometimes unwilling pulled or made to feel things against my will (experience things that aren't may own), that NO ONE could feel what he feels or know what he's going through, that I have a messiah complex, that he 100% wants something (that I, being me, cannot/will not provide), and that families and friends cannot possible hold one another accountable/truly be honest with each other.

I have tried very hard for months to be patient with this man. Tried very hard to be a good friend and more. Tried very hard to give him the benefit of the doubt too. But, well, he isn't worth my time and effort I've decided.

Maybe I'm wrong in that I'm an empath and I've just got another form of psychosis. I fully admitted it was a possibility... But I was honestly helped by people being willing and able to kindly explain how they could put themselves into my shoes almost perfectly and WERE me at one point- with all my experiences and feelings... Not with the same names and faces of course, but knowing my experiences aren't so unique and I wasn't so alone as I thought was such a comfort to me. And it certainly feels like I can do the same that they were describing of being in others' shoes.. and that sometimes too it's involuntary..

Of course I was a stubborn teenager at the time I was being told all of this and going through that teenagery 'you don't know what it's like!!' stage... But I learned. I was able to step back and take stock when my hormones weren't flying all over the place (made worse by an undiagnosed hormone disorder at the time (woo nonbinary body!), but I still managed with help and good role models)... I'm sad my former friend never got that and can't clearly draw understanding of stuff like that. He's into his 30s so, well.. it's harder. I get that. In a few years almost on the dot I'll be 30 myself. I know how much harder some of this stuff is now that I'm very much an adult vs when I was a teen.

According to him though... Yes. Empathy and Sympathy are the same thing. Completely overlooking that Sympathy is having a common feeling and being able to feel sorry for someone... And empathy is SHARING a feeling and being able to experience/feel what it is that's being gone through- not just feel sorry (And I'm explaining it this way because he pulled up Definition number two of Sympathy and Definition one of empathy from google and demanded to know how they were different- common vs sharing is definitely a key difference in those Definitions... And Empathy's specified it was an ability on top of that so... Hmm). I wasn't there for that type of ignorance.

Next is the idea that his experience is SO unique I couldn't possibly understand and then his demand of me to explain how he felt if I 'thought I could'. Okay, first of all it's is heckin' RUDE to demand your friends explain how they could 'possibly know' how/why you're bothered by Something... But I did try- after telling him I wanted an apology for him being so rude as to demand that... he half apologised and mostly went into detail about his woeful feelings.... And yet when I told him I made my reply/explanation much earlier in the day and copy/pasted it to our chat from my Docs (which, to be fair, matched what he said incredibly well) he told me that I was 'just regurgitating' what he told me about how he felt. Um... You asked me how you felt and then I told you what it feels like to go through what you're going through and why it's so bothersome (because I've BEEN there myself?)... Only for you to tell me I don't understand and I'm just echoing you rather than feeling anything? Um?? Empathy is FEELING what YOU feel??? Hello??? And you asked me to describe it??? WTF? I wasn't there for THAT either.

And then he had the idea to accuse me of having a messiah complex (because he 'had one too when [he] was younger and had to learn People weren't worth saving'). Okay. I didn't 100% get what that was/didn't entirely trust my gut feeling on the Google Definition... So what did I do? I googled it. And then I asked my sister (without context) if she thought the description matched me before I replied. According to Google and my sister and the rest of my family... I do not have a messiah complex. Not the first Definition of believing to have some calling or right to heal people, nor the second Definition of believing to be responsible for helping people... As I told him I only offer bits and pieces of advice and different outlooks on the same situation because I am trying to be a good friend. Sure I HOPE it'll be helpful or someone might gain Something from it- but I'm not Sharing because I BELIEVE it will solve the problem or that I'm responsible for fixing someone (I know the line is fine and blurry, but I s2g caring for a friend by sharing stuff and believing you HAVE to help someone are TOTALLY different things)... People sharing their experiences and what works for them to help them not be so miserable is what has helped me throughout my life... it's a mark of my best friends. And I truly don't understand some social cues of how sometimes sharing advice or ideas or memories even ISN'T needed, wanted, or helpful... Obviously. (Because I'm clearly neurodivergent- uh, hello?! Can't 100% help it but trying my hardest?!)....

But according to him... I'm just blind and needed to be knocked down a few pegs rather than thinking I'm so great and could possibly understand him/anyone else... Okay. Not here for that.

I admitted to him that sure... Some of my own experiences bleed into empathetic episodes. It happens!! Like when he's told me multiple times that he's been left out with his family (no one shares information or events beyond what's ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED with him- won't tell him a family member is dying but will talk about Christmas sort of deal) and is a black sheep (different political/life views and feelings of only being tolerated) the ways he has... I put my own experiences of being neglected/abandoned into that. He swears he had always been loved and never felt alone/mistreated by his family (even though he's the one who described these things and Is partially why the feelings of abandonment popped up as I went into his shoes more or less-- but hey. Mistakes happen as do unintentional bleeds. I get that it's not perfect because ultimately I'm still me even when experiencing others. I can and will admit to skewing some things like so on accident if it's true.. but I refuse to believe I understand absolutely nothing at all when we are ALL human and typically have emotions and certain reactions to certain things. Most of us REALLY aren't THAT unique!! Sorry.. it's extremely true based on science's understanding/research anyway).

One of the last things he said to me after accusing me of the messiah complex was he just wants me to 'listen and agree' with him about stuff instead of telling him about my/other ways of looking at things, telling him he's off the mark, or trying to help with the misery.... When previously (and over and over and over) having demanded my absolute honesty and having said he appreciates what I do.... I will not lie to him and say he's right in what he's doing or does with a given situation if he's wrong or looking at it through a lens. Duh. That's 'bad' friend stuff. And sure I can listen no problem!! IF I am told outright/first that what he's saying is JUST a vent and not supposed to be a conversation at all. I've mentioned I need that sort of thing!! If it's just a vent, tell me!!! I'll stfu and listen knowing that... But I'm SORRY I CANNOT just outright TELL. It's not a skill I have!! I HAVE been attempting to get better at it... But anyone can tell you text is especially HARD. Especially when we DO have a conversation about it? A back and forth? And you NEVER once say 'i don't want your take. I just want you to listen.' Even my own sisters and I have to stop ourselves and go... Hey... I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but I'm just venting. And then everything gets so much easier!!! And if we can open with that- 'hey, can I vent to you?' OMFGGGGGGGG it's SO much EASIER!!!

... and yet still.. following that... I am INCREDIBLY LUCKY... Because in venting or in sharing and asking for advice and more... MY family is made up of the type of people who can step back and be unbiased!!! And we can stop each other and TELL each other if we are, in fact, fucking up!!! I mean sure... There's always going to be that love and desire for better for one another... Be ALL of us are under the impression that sometimes the people we love are WRONG and sometimes they are BAD no matter how much we don't want them to be.. and it's far kinder to be honest and take the 'right' side than to give each other all the quarters we want. We cannot learn and/or grow if we cannot hold each other accountable... And Sharing experiences and saying why is designed to be a kindness no matter if it actually helps them or not.. But guess what my 'friend' thought of that? ROFL I was obviously under the incorrect impression and my family will always take MY side simply because I'm family...

In the end...

I do NOT need a 'friend' like that. Who questions everything I do, demands more of me/everyone than I/anyone can provide, who cannot and will not learn or be open to learn in any form, and who takes - dude, you're pissing me off. Fuck off for the night and maybe we can talk again in the morning once we've both gotten sleep- as a 'challenge' to prove this that or the other thing and attack their friend... What the ever loving FUCK is WRONG with you?!

... if you want to know what started this whole thing... He was complaining that none of his friends 'will' hang out with him anymore. Totally understandable to feel awful and lonely (and everything I described to him that he demanded I do)...

But he kept taking it father saying people always changed their schedules on purpose or clearly had nothing else going on in their lives but avoided him anyway and stuff like that... And I dared to question and suggest that some of us DO have good reasons for canceling and not spending the time he wants/needs... That some of us have offered compromises that have never been enough but we still try and SOMETIMES life really DOES just get in the way!!! Like my being sick all the time!! I don't WANT to stay cooped up in my house every day fearing even a passing cold will knock me off my feet!! But dude!! I HAVE to!! And People don't USUALLY demand schedule changes!! It usually kinda gets thrust upon them!! Hello??? Don't we live in america where that's WIDELY KNOWN?! Where sometimes people CAN'T take what little spare time they have and spend it on YOU?? ESPECIALLY during a PANDEMIC and other big changes??? That sometimes that time NEEDS to be taken up with simple pleasures like a single player game in their own home?! Don't People USUALLY have reasons for their habits too? Prerogatives/needs that they don't or can't share with others during those habits because MAYBE it's what they need and you just happen not to be a part of it but could be if you actually ASKED what was going on?! Or idk... LISTENED to what they're telling you about WHY-- especially when you yourself admit you are the ODD one who needs other people physically around to recharge (where most other people don't/only get more exhausted)?!

In the end... I did tell him that sure... If he's treating his other friends like this (which clearly he was treating me pretty darn awfully) then maybe YEAH some of them do it on purpose. We already know how younger brother (my ex) does and that he's not exactly shy about that. Friends may do it on purpose eventually- especially if he's treating People awfully and accusing them of doing it on purpose when they DON'T have control over it... Maybe they WILL migrate to doing it on purpose because of the accusations and inability to make him believe life is just messy sometimes!! But they don't want to lose an occasionally really great friend (because good or bad losing a friend is HARD on the mind and body) and/or don't see how manipulated they are?

In which case... He deserves it. Just like he deserved my wrath (at least in part- I was told I took it a bit too far in that I didn't block him sooner. I did make that mistake for sure XP) when he decided to be so fucking rude to me and then piss all over my efforts to try and be what constitutes a good friend.

Fuck you, dude. You're clearly not worth my time.

And of course the very very last word he had was 'you deserve better friends than I am right now.'

Which, while true and would have been sweet, is something I know (and he has admitted to in the past) is a 'feel sorry for me' tactic. It's not 100% true remorse any more than 'oh no I fucked up and don't want to deal with the consequences of my fucking up, maybe this will get them to feel sorry and let me do it again/get away with it.' I've used it too and understand the tactic all too well. So again I say and know he's not worth my damn time.

Without him in that space of my life... I have more room for others and especially more for myself. I don't need that toxicity. I've been that person too and I know it. I still have my days. And yet it's still okay and good I've walked away.

Fuck you, dude. You're clearly not a friend for me.

#personal #random #ignore me #life in general #drama #long post #text post #bad friends #bad match #tw arguing #anger tw #I'm not perfect. and i dont say that so i can get away with shit #i mean it. I'm not perfect. i will never be even as i strive for more/better things #I'm just as human and just as flawed and no higher or lower than anyone else #but that doesn't mean i have to take this konda stuff laying down #good riddance #drama tw #unhealthy relationships

[crispipaper]

A polite letter to J.K. Rowling By a transgender fan of Harry Potter (TW. Suicide and trauma)

Dear JKR, 

My name is Alex Hernandez, and I have identified as a Harry Potter fan since I was six years old, and a non-binary/ transgender individual since I was sixteen. I recently read your essay concerning your opinions about transgender individuals, and your claim that by providing information you were ‘protecting natal girls and women.’ I was extremely disappointed when I read your piece, both as a queer person and as a Harry Potter fan. The factual information you provided was ill-informed and often taken out of context. The opinions you shared were harmful to many members of the trans community, and perpetuated stereotypes that we have been trying to dismantle for years. 

What stood out to me most in your essay was the insinuation that the only way a person could truly be considered transgender is if they underwent hormone replacement therapy and/or gender confirmation surgery. This is simply incorrect, as there are many people (myself included) who happily identify as trans that have chosen to or cannot undergo those types of treatments. It also completely leaves out the identity of non-binary, a-gender and gender fluid individuals, who do not subscribe to the binary gender identities that accompany these types of treatment. It is also not as simple to gain access to these procedures as you seem suggest, even within your home country of the United Kingdom.

In your writing, you state that “a man who intends to have no surgery and take no hormones may now secure himself a Gender Recognition Certificate and be a woman in the sight of the law.” According to the official website for the government of the United Kingdom, a person who wishes to obtain a Gender Recognition Certificate must be over the age of 18, have documented proof of a diagnoses of gender dysphoria, have lived as their intended gender for at least two years, and intend to live as this gender for the rest of their life (https://www.gov.uk/apply-gender-recognition-certificate). This clearly shows that a person must provide more than just their word in order to gain legal recognition of their gender by the British government. You are correct that surgery and hormones are not prerequisites for obtaining a GRC, however, medically transitioning is not a prerequisite for being a trans person. 

You also cited a very controversial study performed by Doctor Lisa Littman the supports the theory of Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria. According to this study, children and young adults are more likely to come out to their parents as transgender after engaging online with other trans individuals. Dr. Littman claims that according to the survey she conducted (which was directed at parents of children who had recently come out as trans), gender dysphoria can just appears out of nowhere during puberty, and that internet forums and peer pressure is a large contributing factor to this. However, there are several things wrong with her writing. To start, the survey she conducted in order to obtain her data was targeted at parents of children who had recently come out as trans and only posted to websites that were about parents questioning their teen’s recent coming out. She asked irrelevant questions about the child’s mental health, including whether or not they had been diagnosed with a mental illness prior to coming out, or if they had experienced trauma at some past point in their life. Although I understand that the article was taken down and re-reviewed, the author did not rescind her findings, and simply used the republication as a way to clarify what she had previously stated.  

The other aspect of your writing that stood out to me as particularly harmful to the trans community and those questioning their gender identity was the supposition that one could just “choose” to be trans because they have experienced trauma. Your experience as a survivor of domestic and sexual assault are real and valid, and your trauma regarding these situations is real and valid. However, this does not give you the right to suggest that you might have chosen to transition during these times in order to escape abuse. Transitioning (in your case) from an Assigned-Female-At-Birth (AFAB) individual to a male identifying individual does not automatically exempt you from abuse and violence typically experienced by cis-gendered women. It is not a choice people make because they have experienced a trauma. It is a recognition of what has always been true to them, that they were previously unable to freely express. 

Here’s where you seem to be missing the point. People who choose to transition from a female to a male are not trying to “escape womanhood.” What they are doing is finding ways to freely express themselves in the most authentic and truest way. For example, say you were born with red hair. But for years and years your family was dying your hair brown because it was more “socially acceptable” to have brown hair. You knew that you had red hair, and that wasn’t something that anyone could take away from you, even if they were trying to cover it up or pretend like it was brown. And one day, you meet a group of people who have naturally red hair, who are flaunting their red hair and making a point of not dying it to fit societal standards. And maybe you don’t agree with what these people are doing, and you continue to dye your hair. Or maybe, you realize that you’ve always preferred having red hair, and now you’ve come across a space where it’s ok to be a red head. These people understand what it’s like to have their hair dyed for years and years, and want to embrace their naturally red hair. That’s how it is for trans people. A trans man was always a man, he was just born into a woman’s body, and socialized as a woman. But once they encounter other trans people, and realize that these people will accept and love him for his true self, then he will “come out” because he realizes that he was always a man and now finally feels comfortable expressing that. 

I also want to take this opportunity to share with you my own personal journey of gender exploration, since the stories of non-binary trans people are often overlooked and rarely heard. I was assigned female at birth. I was given a traditionally female first name, and socialized as a girl for the first sixteen years of my life. However, even as a little kid I had a sense that something wasn’t quite right. When I was younger, I really didn’t like my name, and always wished I could have been called Amber or Ashley. I knew that I was not the person I wanted to be, but I didn’t have the language or understanding to really figure out how I was feeling. As I grew up, I came to embrace my feminine name, and to enjoy traditionally feminine things such as princesses and makeup.

Fast forward to high school, when I was beginning to learn more about the LGBTQ+ community. Before I got to high school, I didn’t know a single queer person my own age. Existing on the internet at the time, I encountered many stories of trans people, but the only ones I ever saw were of binary trans individuals. I knew that I didn’t want to be a man, but I also knew that I didn’t really want to be a woman either. So I cut my hair short and started wearing clothes that showed off less of my figure and that attempted to obscure my female form. When I was fifteen, I was doing a presentation on LGBTQ+ identities for school, and came across the term “non-binary individual.” At the same time, I was taking a class where we were learning about the history of feminism, and how many ancient cultures saw femininity and masculinity less as physical forms and appearances, but rather as energies that a person could embrace. Both of these streams of information collided, and I suddenly realized I had words to describe how I’d been feeling this whole time. I didn’t want to identify as a binary woman, and I didn’t want to identify as a binary male. Instead, I wanted the language that would allow me to feel comfortable traveling between these two energies. 

My personal definition of what it means to be a non-binary individual is a person who embraces both masculine and feminine energies, and can express themselves as one, neither or both. I keep my hair long and have chosen not to go on hormones or have reconstructive surgery partially due to trauma I experienced as a child, but also because I want to keep these aspects of feminine energy close to me. There are days where I feel more masculine, where I wear “mens” clothes and attempt to present as a more masculine individual. There are days where I want to feel more feminine, and I choose to wear skirts and makeup because that is what helps me to embrace my feminine energy. And there are days when I want to combine energies, so I will present myself as some combination of masculine and feminine presentations. 

All of this is just to say that when you, a person who has considerable influence especially on younger children, make these inflammatory statements and harmful claims, you are effectively telling children that this is not a world where they can be as authentic to themselves as possible. You are creating a hostile environment that encourages other people who share your ideas to be more vocal, which honestly does more harm than good. Many of those statistics that you quote about rising rates in teen and transgender suicide are often because people who feel forced to conceal their true identity would rather not exist in a world that won’t allow them to be who they really are. So if you are truly interested in changing public perception of transgender individuals, while continuing to support the education of children and the protection of women, I would suggest reading literature that directly opposes your view points, and having conversations with people (particularly trans people) who have real experiences and are willing to share them with you. 

Sincerely, 

Alex Hernandez (they/them)

#tw suicide #tw trauma #tw transphobia #Harry Potter #HP #JKR #JKRowling #trans #lgbtq

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

I saw you reblogged gifs from Sex Education (so I assume you watch it) and I just recently binged it, after hearing so much about it and I didn’t quite know what to expect going into it. But I found myself liking it and I was surprised and happy about how many important questions and topics it actually deals with, like the important of consent, STD’s, equality, LGBT rights and so on. So I just wonder what your thoughts is on it? (Oh and I love how well written the characters are too)

I really like Sex Education. I was the same as you and didn’t really know what to expect going into it. One of my friends described it as a “classier version of Skins” and I’d say that description is somewhat accurate. It’s similar to Skins in the way that it explores the lives of college students and how realistic and honest it is in doing that. There are a lot of shows that have a young cast and are set at high school or college such Gossip Girl, PLL, TVD, OTH, BtVS, but these shows are completely unrealistic in what they portray. Most of the characters on those shows are supposed to be 17 years old but are being played by actors and actresses in their 20s or 30s, and aside from going to school they live their lives like adults rather than teens. That’s what separates Sex Ed (and Skins) from other shows in the same genre, because it is realistic. All of the young characters on Sex Ed are living their lives as teenagers and not adults. They go to college, they hang out with friends, they go to work part-time, they struggle with their sexuality, they take part in extra-curricular activities, they have difficulties at home in their personal lives and they’re trying to figure out who they are. It’s the stuff that most of us do and go through when we’re that age.

The characters are great. In fact, I think I like every single character on Sex Ed because they’re authentic characters with complexity. Most of them are built on tropes but they all exceed those tropes. Jackson is the perfect example. He’s a handsome jock, star athlete, popular and intelligent. Yet, he shatters any other tropes that would be associated with this type of character. The first trope we’d expect to see is for him to screw around, date loads of girls, be a dick and hurt them and break their heart because he’s scared of commitment. But Jackson truly falls for Maeve and cares about her. He isn’t scared of getting his heart-broken or dating around, he walks into a relationship with Maeve with his eyes and his heart wide open. When he realises Maeve doesn’t feel the same as him, he never lashes out, shames/guilts her or resents her. He continues to be respectful and kind to her. We’d also expect him to be shallow and to judge everything on looks and popularity, but his friendship (and I expect romance, in the future) with Viv shows that Jackson judges individuals based on the person they are rather than how popular they are or how conventionally “hot” they are. Again, we’d expect a character like Jackson to be hung up on his image and what others think, but he doesn’t care. Swimming is part of his image, but he doesn’t care. He decides that he doesn’t want to swim and that he’d rather act instead, and although he’s worried what his mom will say, he doesn’t care what anyone else will think. And Jackson is just one example of a character built on cliched tropes that goes way beyond them and shatters them. Otis fulfils the awkward, shy virgin trope, but he actually has such a deep understanding of sex and relationships which allows him to relate to and connect with a wide range of people. Maeve is fulfils the cool, badass stereotype but is actually very sensitive, caring, empathetic and not afraid to show kindness or love to others.

It’s not just the characters I like either, it’s also the relationships between the characters. Otis and Eric’s friendship is so beautiful. It instantly stood out to me as being special based purely on the fact that it’s a close and intimate friendship between a straight and gay guy. In my experience, I have never known a gay guy to be best friends with a straight guy. This is because of the misconceptions and stereotypes built around masculinity and homosexuality. A lot of straight guys wouldn’t be best friends with a gay guy because they’d be afraid that they would then be labelled as being gay by association. They also think that if a guy is gay that automatically means he must fancy every guy he comes into contact with and would be a sex monster. It’s so silly, incorrect and such backwards thinking, but I’ve seen it so much throughout my life. Yet Otis and Eric love each other so much and they’re so close too. Eric can talk openly to Otis about his romantic and sexual relationships without feeling like Otis is judging him or is embarassed or grossed out (again, a common theme amongst straight guys when they interact with gay guys about sex). It’s just such a great relationship. But then there’s also Jackson and Viv, Maeve and Aimee, Adam and Eric, Otis and Maeve that are all wonderful relationships to watch evolve on-screen. Even seeing Otis and Nicole come together after having sex to address the fact that she may be pregnant was refreshing. Not only does this deal with unwanted and unplanned pregnancy, it shows that when two people come together and have sex it is the responsibility of both of those individuals to deal with the consequences.

The LGBTQA+ representation is brilliant, and it’s so necessary. Even with the increased representation in recent years, there’s still no where near enough exploration of sexuality in television and how it impacts young people. So many teenagers question their sexuality or struggle to understand how they’re feeling or who they are, and shows like this can make all the difference. If young people can relate to the characters they see on-screen, it gives them a way to understand and process their own feelings. People think we’ve come so far and there’s so much understanding around sexuality, but as someone that works in high schools, let me tell you, there isn’t. A lot of young people have never heard the words bisexual, pansexual or asexual, they also don’t understand that sexuality is often fluid or that gender identity and sexuality aren’t the same thing or even necessarily connected. My only issue with the way sexuality is explored on the show is that it’s not as in-depth as it could be. For example, Ola starts to have sex dreams about Lily, takes an online quiz which says she’s pansexual and she just goes with it. It’s usually a lot more complex than that and if someone is questioning their sexuality it can take months and even years to come to terms with that and find a label that they feel comfortable with (if they want to label themselves at all). It was similar with Adam too. He develops feelings for Eric and we know he struggles with that, but then he just turns up at the party and tells Eric he thinks he’s bisexual. How does he come to this conclusion? He’s had sexual relationships with females in the past, we know this, but actually at the start of the show he’s struggling to perform sexually with his girlfriend. So why does he feel that he’s bisexual rather than gay? This is really just me being picky, because in a way I think it’s a little lazy. If a character states that they are something, then that is what they are, but I think more time should be devoted to following these characters as they try to figure out what their sexuality is and how they want to label themselves, instead of the character developing feelings for one character of the same sex and then suddenly jumping to “okay, I’m bi/pan”. Regardless, the LGBTQA+ representation in Sex Ed is amazing and defintiely somethinng that I give a lot of praise to.

Aimee’s story is also a brilliant exploration of the importance of consent and sexual assault. You can read more about my thoughts on this here. But also, hearing Jean tell the kids that it is always their right to say no is very, very important. Throughout my life I’ve had so many people tell me that they had sex when they didn’t want to because they were “just going along with it” but they tell themselves it was okay because they didn’t actually say “no” out loud and therefore it’s not rape. People don’t realise that they can start having sex with someone and change their mind, and if that person doesn’t stop, it’s unconsensual sex and therefore rape. People don’t realise that if a couple have been married for 10 years and the wife wakes up to her husband having sex with her, it’s unconensual and therefore rape. People don’t realise that if someone is drunk out of their mind and barely concious, it’s unconsesual sex and therefore rape. There are so many more scenarios like these that I see people describe as being “grey areas” and it makes me so angry, because they are not fucking grey areas at all. Consent is such a simple concept but people try to over-complicate it. People will often use the “but people don’t verbally give consent when they have sex, they just do it, so how do you know that they’ve actually given consent” - bloody ask them! There is nothing wrong with asking someone, “Do you want to do this”, “Are you sure?”, “Do you feel like this is the right thing?” or saying, “If you want to stop at anytime we can”, “Tell me if I’m hurting you or do something wrong.” If two people are having sex there should be that open communication and trust present to be able to ask these questions and have these conversations, and if there isn’t, then there has to be question as to whether they should be having sex at all. I’ll discuss the importance of communication around sex below. But when it comes to consent, I find it really alarming how much misunderstanding there is around it and how much incorrect information is given out. Consent is probably one of the most important issues around sex that young people should be educated on. It’s the very foundation of sexual relationships, because no consent = no sex.

Overall, the show explores a lot of very important topics that aren’t always featured in shows to the extent that it should be. It could definitley go further with some of the themes it explores, but it covers a lot of ground in a limited time-frame and does more justice to it than a lot of other shows I’ve seen, so I have to give credit where it’s due.

(below the cut is less an analysis of Sex Education and more of a discussion around sex/relationships, stereotypes and misconceptions around them and how poor sex education is in school).

I think it’s important for shows like Sex Education to be made not only because it portrays life as a teenager in a more realistic way (instead of creating unrealistic expectations for young people that they should be living lives of glitz and glamour where they’re at extravagant house parties every week and dating hot older men/women that are doctors or lawyers or business owners), but because it specifically tackles the topic of sex. Let’s be honest here: sex education in schools is really, really, really bad. Kids simply aren’t taught what they need to know about sex and as a result their well-being, safety, happiness and identity is often compromised. If you’re 12 years old (in the UK that’s the age you are in your first year at high school) and experiencing an attraction to someone of the same sex but haven’t been told what that means, why it’s happening or that it’s okay, how is that going to make you feel? If you’re 14 years old and in a relationship with an older guy who’s pressuring you for sex and has told you that he doesn’t want to wear a condom because it’s not as pleasurable for him, how are you going to understand that asking you to do that is not okay or articulate how you feel to your parnter? If you’re 16 and have been in a long-term relationship sexual relationship with a partner that is kind, respectful and loving but you don’t find sex enjoyable or pleasurable, how are you going to know why you feel this way or how to rectify it and discuss it with your partner? And these are just a few scenarios that I can think of off the top of my head. There are so many scenarios, topics, experiences, questions and concerns that teenagers have when it comes to sex and relationships, and unless they’re lucky and have super open, supportive and expressive parents, they most likely won’t have answers to any of their questions.

That’s because sex education (in the UK at least), is all focused on the biology; how the body changes during puberty, how sexual intercourse leads to pregnancy and the health ramifications of contracting an STI. There’s nothing about the mental, emotional and physical side of it, which in my opinion, is the most important part because that’s what directly impacts teenagers. Young people should be prepared and have absolute understanding of the kinds of experiences they may have, what to do if they ever find themselves in a situation that they feel uncomfortable with or that has made them feel insecure, upset, afraid, hurt etc., how to navigate healthy sexual/romantic relationships, what consent is and how to communicate with others about sex. For a lot of young people (and even adults!), sex is treated as such a taboo subject; they’re either too awkward, embarassed or ashamed to talk about it or have been told they should keep those sort of things to themselves. But open communication is so important when it comes to sex, particularly with your partner. I don’t agree with teenagers (below 18 at least) being in serious romantic and sexual relationships, it’s a part of life and it’s always going to happen, so young people should know how to navigate those relationships and be able to communicate with their partner effectively.

This is part of what I love about Sex Ed so much - there’s a complete openness around sex. Jean is a brilliant character and although she’s not a perfect mother, the openness she has around sex is refreshing. Sex is a part of life and it should be treated as such. Adults have this notion that they need to protect kids from sex and not give them all of the facts, but this is more likely to cause more harm in the future when these children grow up and start having sexual experiences. Jean’s openness with Otis is sometimes mortifying, but it’s also a positive thing, because she wants him to feel safe and comfortable to come to her if he’s ever struggling or confused about anything related to sex/relationships. And every child should have that; an adult that they can trust and confide in and even ask for advice on these things, because it is difficult for young people.

I also love that Jean is that she’s not afraid to talk about sex and pleasure. Again, this all stems from the embarassment and shame around sex, but people have such a problem with talking about sex (again, even adults still struggle with it) in terms of being a pleasurable and gratifying act. Kids are usually told sex is between two people who love each other to make a baby. But actually, how true is that? Sex and love aren’t mutually exclusive and it’s more likely for a couple to use contraception to prevent reproduction than it is to be trying to reproduce. Not to mention that same sex couples can’t reproduce naturally, so this explanation completely shuts down the idea of sex between individuals of the same sex, which is ridiculous. The simple fact is that a lot of the time sex is about pleasure. But as Jean discusses, pleasure is so taboo and especially when it comes to females.

I’m so glad the show shed light on this, because as a woman with female friends I’ve definitley noticed this. I’ve had female friends that have been sexually active for 10 years and that have never had an orgasm with their partner. It’s a common occurence for women to go without orgasms for most or the whole of their life, not understanding how to have one or even realising that they’re not having them. In the 21st century, sex is still defined by men and their pleasure. When people think about sex, they think about penetration, they think it begins with insertion and ends when the man has climaxed. Any porn video you watch involving a man and woman will be geared towards men. General perceptions of sex are still built around penises, because apparently they’re just so important that sex can’t be sex without them, right? Wrong! Sex is much broader than this. Women have sex with each other with no penises involved, and let me tell you, it’s still sex. Men and women can have sex without having intercourse. Men and men can have sex without having intercourse. Likewise, for women, penal penetration is not the only way to orgasm, in fact, it’s scientifically proven that it’s the hardest way to have an orgasm. Even today women don’t understand their own bodies or engage in masturbation because they feel that it’s shameful or wrong. We’re still expected to supress and ignore our sexuality and be demure and prudish. Jean absolutely smashes this notion to pieces and I love it, because women have every right to be sexually open and to enjoy sex and derive pleasure from it as men. All women should feel comfortable to masturabte, all women should be able to have pleasure from sex, all women deserve to have a partner who takes the time to understand their bodies and wants to please them, all women deserve to have the freedom to express themselves sexually in whichever way they feel comfortable with without fear of judgement or ridicule.

Sex Education is an important show because it raises questions around these topics and tackles them head-on. I’ve heard people describe it as being too “PC” and trying too hard to be “trendy”, but it’s not. All it’s doing is addressing the experiences, feelings, thoughts and struggles that young people all over the world are going through every day that are misunderstood and not spoken about. The show may not always address this issues in the best way, but it does tackle them and that’s what counts. And I, for one, am glad that shows like this are being made. The title “Sex Education” is the perfect title for this show, because it will educate many of its viewers on sex and teach them things that they didn’t know before watching. 

#answered #anonymous #my meta #sex education meta #sex education #wow this is so long sorry lol

[fugaciousgloom]

Oumeno Day 2 - Part 1

Warning: Crying, angst, mentioning of guns.

Prompt: Royalty

     Himiko stands on her room's balcony, crying. Her nightgown sleeves were soaked all the way through, leaving her even more miserable and cold than before.

     Tenko, her guard, her best friend, took a bullet for her.

     And now she was fighting for her life in the hospital. All because if some sloppy assasination attempt.

     The princess wasn't even allowed to visit her. Something about her being 'below the royal family'. She wanted to scream, she wanted to run away.

     Maybe she should.

     "I wouldn't recommend it princess."

     Spinning her head around, Himiko was suddenly face-to-face with a boy with purple hair. It was tied back into a ponytail and he was wearing scruffy clothing. Obviously he came from the town below the castle's hill.

     "Who are you?" She asked suspiciously. She already had one thing happen today and she didn't need something else to be taken from her.

     He looked at her for a moment before replying, "Angie sent me." He explains, "She wanted me to tell you that Tenko's in stable condition."

     Wiping her eyes, Himiko took a few moments to process the information. Suddenly, she was crying for a different reason.

     The boy shifted a bit on the banister, looking a bit out of his element.

     "Hey," he said, "Don't cry, it makes your face uglier!"

     Himiko wiped her damp cheeks once again, giggling a bit, "Is that the best you got?"

     "Not at all, princess." He winks at her.

     She flicks his arm, "Pervert."

     Contorting his face into faux hurt and sadness, he leaned back precariously, "You're so mean, Himiko!"

     "Don't do that, you might fall!" She paused, "Wait, how do you know my name?"

     He gave her a blank look, "Duh, everyone knows who you are."

     "No, my first name!"

     He laughed, "Nishishi, I'm a friend of a friend of Tenko and Angie. I'll admit, that girl definitely has spunk. She says your name all the time."

      "Tenko, Tenko, Tenko." Himiko shook her head, leaning on the banister, "What am I going to do with you."

     "Well, you could give her a humongous thanks and a hug. Maybe even a medal" The boy pointed at her, "You know, for saving your life."

     Looking up at the night sky, Himiko thought for moment, "I wish my parents would let me see her. Apparently not even saving their own daughter is good enough."

     "She's practically revered down below the hill." Kokichi stated, "Practically everyone's going to see her."

     Himiko smiled, "Good, she deserves it."

     "Then again, they are wondering where their dear princess Himiko is and why she isn't visiting her knight in shining armour." He smirked, "I bet you they're coming up with a plan to overthrow the royals right at this moment!"

     The princess's eyes widened.

      He laughed, "Or that could be a lie."

     Sighing again, Himiko let her head fall into her arms.

     "I wish I wasn't a princess." She stated flatly.

     The boy's head perked up, "What's this? The perfect princess wants to be a lowly peasant?"

     She let out a frustrated groan, "No! That's not it." She turned to look at him, "It's just... I can't have a private life. I can't go to school with the other children. I have to marry whoever my parents set me up with..."

     She leaned over the ledge to look at the ground below, "I have to act a certain way or else people will hate me for the rest of my existence. Without ever talking to me, people will assume they have me all figured out."

     The purple haired boy scooted towards the princess, "Hey, people suck." He declares, shrugging his shoulders, "I guess the best thing you can do is address the problem directly, or ignore it completely."

     Suddenly, Himiko climbed up and sat on the ledge of the balcony. Her feet dangled over the side and she kicked them back and forth.

     "Woah, Ms. Perfect." He said sarcastically, "We wouldn't want your folks to see you like this, would we?"

     She hummed, closing her eyes and letting the breeze flow through her hair. She smiled, "If I could stay here in this moment forever, I would."

     When she opened her eyes, the boy was staring at her. He blushed and looked away.

     Giggling, she spun around to face her room. A moment of comfortable silence fell between them.

      "Well," Himiko stated, "My maid will be coming to help me get ready for bed soon."

     The boy nodded, "Alright, then I'll go."

     Just as he was about to hop into a nearby tree, Himiko turned back, "Wait!"

     He paused, looking over his shoulder.

     "What's your name?"

     He smirked, giving her a two finger salute, "Call me Kokichi Oma!"

      She hesitated, "Will I ever see you again?"

     All he did was smirk before disappearing.

-----------------------------------------------------------

     "Himiko, are you listening to me?"

      The princess snapped her head up at the mention of her name.

     Her father rolled his eyes, giving the man next to him a bewildered look, "We're discussing your marriage with Prince Idabashi, so I suggest you listen."

     Repressing the urge to get up and walk away, she clenched her fists in her lap. Her father always talked to her like she was five. He did the same with her mother as well. It was as if he believed woman were lesser than himself.

     As soon as the meeting ended, she rushed up to her room.

     As she shut the doors, she flopped down on her bed. Her dress was itchy and tight. Her mother had wanted her to make a good impression, so she had the seamstress from town make Himiko a new dress.

     Suddenly, there was a tapping on the balcony doors. She looked up to see Oma standing there.

      Rushing to stand up, she opened the doors and smiled, "You came back!"

     He did jazz hands, "I came back!"

      Giggling, Himiko calmed herself down. She gestured for him to come inside and sat on her bed.

     The boy looked amazed at the inside if her room. His hands twitched, as if they were itching to touch something.

     "Go ahead." Himiko said, "Look at anything you want."

     He had a field day looking at her luxurious items.

     About twenty minutes later, she was saying goodbye again. He climbed up on the balcony ledge, ready to leave when Himiko thrust her hand toward him.

     She held a silver locket, gesturing for him to take it.

     "But, I can't." He said, putting his hands up like he was surrendering, "It's your locket!"

     Himiko shrugged, "I have a ton of jewelry, go ahead. I haven't worn this thing in years."

     He hesitantly took it from her. He immediately unhooked it, hanging it around his neck.

     "Thank you, princess." It was a whisper, but she knew it meant the world to him.

-----------------------------------------------------------

     Idabashi rocked on his feet in front of Himiko, "So... what do you do for fun?"

     All she did was raise her eyebrow at him. He didn't seem even a little bit comfortable talking to her.

     She blinked at him, "Look, if we're getting married, I'd like to know something about you."

     He sat in a nearby chair, crossing his leg at the knee, "Well." He began, "I like robotics and reading, but I'll never get to pursue that anyways."

     The redhead gave him an understanding look, "I get that completely." She sighed, "I can do magic."

     His eyes lit up, "Wow, that's so cool!"

     She giggled. It felt like gossiping with a high school friend. Or at least, what she imagined it was like to gossip with a high school friend. The closest she's ever gotten to that is Tenko.

     The two talk for a while, becoming quick friends.

     "Hey, if we really have to do this, I wanna know. What's your deepest secret." She stated, "The key to a healthy relationship is honesty, after all."

     She felt weird, calling it a relationship. It wasn't exactly wrong, just... incorrect.

     He fiddled with his thumbs before lowering his voice, "I'm gay."

     Himiko nodded, "Cool."

      "You don't care?" He smiled widely.

      "Nope."

      He hugged her, "Okay, okay, that's enough."

     He pulled back, "Sorry."

     "Anyways, my secret..."

     She thought for a moment, but only one came to her mind, "Every night, a boy from the village comes to my balcony and we talk."

     Idabashi's eyes widened, "Isn't that against the rules?"

     She nodded, "Yeah, please don't tell anyone!"

     He nodded, faking zipping up a zipper on his lips.

     He sighed again, "Can I confess another thing?"

     She nodded.

      "I... I'm in love with one of the servants at my castle."

      Himiko smiled, "Ooh, who is it?"

      Now she definitely felt like a teen gossiping with her girlfriends.

      "Rantaro Amami."

     She beamed at him, "Well, I wish you luck with that, Prince Idabashi."

     "Call me Kiibo."

-----------------------------------------------------------

     That night, Oma and Himiko sat on the ledge of the balcony again. There was a comfortable silence between them. The only sound was the whispering of a few jokes from Oma and the quiet giggling of Himiko.

     As he got up to leave, the princess noticed the necklace still hanging around his neck.

     "You're still wearing it."

     He looked at the necklace, "Yeah, I guess I still am."

     Walking up to him, Himiko held the locket in one hand. She flipped it open and saw a small picture inside.

     "Who's that?"

     "That's my baby sister."

      The redhead smiled, "She's adorable!"

     "Thanks." He grinned.

     Before he turned to leave, Himiko planted a small kiss on his cheek, "Bye."

     He touched his face where she kissed him, "Uh, yeah, bye..."

-----------------------------------------------------------

      The princess rested her head on her fist. She was in a wedding planning meeting, and she wasn't interested in the slightest. She kept letting her mind wander, mostly to him.

     Kokichi Oma...

     She couldn't get him out of her head.

      "Princess Yumeno?"

      A soft voice called for her. She turned to see Tojo walking up to her.

     "The queen requests your presence."

     Crap. What did I do?

     Nodding and thanking Tojo, she made her way towards the throne room.

     Her mother sat in a tall throne next to her father's empty one. He was probably out doing business somewhere.

     "Himiko."

     "Mother."

     She looked at her nails for a moment before looking back at Himiko, "Why did King Idabashi call and tell me to call off the wedding?"

     Himiko felt a flutter in her stomach. He called off the wedding! She was free!

#I reached the word limit #part 1 #part 1 of 2 #oumeno #oumeno week #ouma #ouma kokichi #kokichi oma #himiko yumeno #oma x himiko #drv3 himiko #drv3 #danganronpa

[fixdreviews1-blog]

Finest Diagnostic Sensor Evaluation: FIXD Analysis Sensor

You will find handful of points much more aggravating than experiencing the check out engine light-weight come on with your automobile. This typically suggests you need to check out the mechanic or maybe the retail outlet and acquire a whole workup accomplished on your car. Due to FIXD, you have an alternative to that go shopping pay a visit to. This analysis resource allows you to carry out a swift skim in your automobile to see why that light-weight is on. It requires a short period of time to perform the check out, that can then let you know exactly what it found and what you should swap or because of your automobile.

Best Analysis Sensor Review FIXD Analytical Sensor

A fantastic benefit from picking FIXD is you can use various detectors with each of your vehicles and entry each one with the application that you employ on the phone. Given that individuals cars are powered by gasoline and came out in 1996 or afterwards, you can utilize FIXD. Once plugged in, this indicator will continue to check your car and recognize any issues that occur afterwards. Also you can make use of the detector to setup reminders of when you must do regimen maintenance like modifying your gas. This instrument works without any specific tools or components.

What you ought to Do in order to Maintain Your Automobile

The check motor lighting on your own dash panel may come on should there be a small or even a serious issue with your engine. This could function as a forewarning of the electric issue that will become worse after a while. Most people who acquire FIXD is going to do so because they want to reduce your cost in the end. When you keep an engine issue without treatment, it may cost 1000s of dollars or maybe more to correct it in the foreseeable future. We strongly suggest this analysis indicator for anybody who wishes to maintain and take care of their cars. It’s also a good instrument for anybody who drives a more modern version automobile and wants to understand what the check out motor light implies.

FIXD is likewise best for people who forget about the standard servicing that the autos call for. Depending on the make and model of your respective motor vehicle, you may need an gas change every 3,000 to 6,000 a long way or maybe more. Even if you place alerts inside your mobile phone, you could still forget about to change your oil as required. This device has an iphone app that permits you to create your own personal alerts of when you have to do that maintenance. Anyone that desires to deal with their automobiles may benefit with this instrument and app.

How Can FIXD Work?

If you buy this instrument, you obtain both the diagnostic indicator that acts as a scanner and also the FIXD mobile app. In order to operate a check out in your auto, you have to connect the tool into the motor vehicle. If you employed one of the boxes that insurance firms offer to help lower your rates, you’ll may have learned how this works. You will then need to open up the store on the mobile phone the place you purchase and acquire applications.

Anybody having an Google android phone will use the Google Engage in Retail store. When the retailer loads, perform a search for FIXD and download the state app through the maker. You should click the name from the application after which find the install key well before waiting for it to download.

When you plug in the instrument, open the FIXD mobile app. You should use the Bluetooth on the cell phone to find the sensing unit and make up the connection that you need.

How Does FIXD Function

After you develop this connection, you are going to click on your display screen and inform the iphone app that you would like to check your vehicle. Following the check coatings, the mobile app will highlight every thing it located. This enables you to know what is incorrect with your vehicle and what you should do or talk to your auto mechanic about later.

Should You Buy it?

As important as your current wellness is, the health of your vehicle can be just as important. Simple things like a loosened wire in the electric motor might cause your verify motor gentle in the future on and remain on for days at any given time.

There is not any ensure that this light-weight emerged on as a result of something basic even though, which explains why you will need a analysis scanning device like FIXD. FIXD comes with a detector that one could plug in and set up in seconds along with an app that really works with that instrument.

Should You Buy it

A single advantage of this instrument is that it is not going to demand asking or new electric batteries. The ability out of your engine gives each of the energy that this tool itself needs. As long as you have got a Wireless bluetooth connection between the tool plus your cell phone, you get total accessibility app. FIXD does need that you simply create your account when you acquire the app. Should you improve into a better phone later, you are able to sign in with your details and gain access to your account yet again. Even though this is an instrument we advise and another we believe you should get, we desired to show you a number of the pros and cons with this design to assist you to feel assured relating to your obtain.

Professionals

Big Array of Concerns

The main reason why you’ll would like to use FIXD is that of the large range of issues that it will find in your car or truck. The business claims that it will discover and determine more than 6,000 problems that involve both smaller sized things you can look after residence and significant repairs which require professional guidance. Additionally, it statements that this will tell you completely whether you ought to have a auto technician perform the job. The tool can tell you when your air sensing unit passed away, in case your oils heat reaches a critical degree or if you wish to tighten up your gas limit. Once you discover and fix the problem, the mobile app allows you to remove the dash gentle too.

Expense Quotes

Maybe you have been in a vehicle accident and needed a fix? Your insurance company probably suggested a number of shops that you might use and also recommended that you get quotes using their company retailers too. This may occupy time and effort and leave you feeling frustrated as to what all those stores explained. FIXD has a great attribute in its mobile app that actually offers you estimations based on your present local zip code or area. Not only does the mobile app let you know just how much you could pay for the various components that you require, but it also lets you know the standard cost of labour for all those work too.

Speedy Scan

While there are many of other analysis equipment that can be used at home, FIXD functions much faster than a few of these other equipment do. It often takes just a couple minutes or so to accomplish a complete scan and look at the outcome in the included mobile app. FIXD also offers you the choice of carrying out a check out when you’re at home or the go. It is possible to open the application and initiate the check when you’re sitting in your auto or standing on your front yard way too. If you are taking your car to some retail outlet, you could possibly wait one hour or longer for any auto technician to connect your car or truck and execute a analysis skim.

A number of Automobiles, 1 Accounts

If you happen to applied a diagnostic scanning tool and application prior to, it is likely you found that you could use only that instrument in a single auto. Although FIXD also needs that you employ the device in just one car, it enables you to use one accounts to monitor any other scanners that you use. Let’s state that you primarily generate a single automobile however your loved one and teen have automobiles of their own. You can get and put in scanning equipment in each and every car and use the mobile app on your own telephone to perform tests on every one. That same mobile app also allows you to create alerts about any long term routine maintenance that people autos need.

Concerns Identified

A very important factor we like about FIXD is definitely how clearly it reveals any concerns identified. Right after performing a scan, the application will available a fresh windowpane that explains just how many problems it discovered. Additionally, it informs you how serious these concerns are, which will let you know whether you should immediately deal with individuals troubles or if you can postpone the repairs for a few days. Repaired utilizes reddish, yellow-colored and natural to tell you which issues are small and that happen to be much more serious. You can do other tests right after creating those maintenance also.

Cost-effective Winning prize

Numerous stores offer you free analytical tests for consumers nowadays. The theory is the fact that you will may be found in to your totally free skim and really feel so thankful that you just concur to pay for costly fixes on the spot. Some automobile parts merchants supply totally free scans too simply because they believe that you’ll find the pieces that you desire from their store. Totally free scans will often need that you simply wait and deal with pushy product sales reps however. FIXD provides you with the choice of doing all of your personal scans in the home when you need to have. It gives you its analysis combination for about $60 and possesses a lot of money that accompany two scanning devices for just $100.

Remove the Lighting

If you find yourself struggling with a verify generator gentle that comes on and continues to be on for days or weeks at any given time, you’ll want to find out what’s wrong and fix it without delay. If you find out that it is one thing simple like a cracked lid on your own fuel container, you might really feel a little absurd that you enable the difficulty continue on for such a long time. When you conduct a scan but don’t have enough time to repair the problem on the spot, FIXD will give you the option of washing the light-weight. This will turn off the lighting on your own dash whilst keeping it from returning on later.

Android os and iOS Help

1 dilemma that people identified when examining FIXD options is a few of these goods only work with one sort of operating-system. In case you have an Android mobile phone or even an iPhone now but think you should alter techniques later on, FIXD is a great choice for you since it is suitable for both methods. The manufacturer delivers totally free software that work well featuring its resources, that you can down load from your Google Perform Shop or even the Apple inc Retailer. After you produce your account, you may log back into it if you modify telephones in the future too.

Maintenance Reminders

However professionals often assert that you should change your essential oil every 3,000 a long way, some models and makes can go for 8,000 to ten thousand mls well before they need an essential oil alter. FIXD may be the only tool of its sort that allows you to create maintenance alerts. The application will send you notifications when you really need to change your oils and substitute your essential fluids or check your car tires and braking system patches (don’t forget about to consider a portable air flow compressor if you’re getting a streets-journey which means you don’t get captured a long way coming from a service station with a toned). It explains the best way numerous mls you put on your car and which varieties of routine maintenance you have to do in the near future. Individuals reminders could save you 1000s of dollars later on maintenance.

Constant Keeping track of

Another characteristic that units Repaired apart from the levels of competition is it offers continuous tracking. Have you had your examine motor light-weight come on and after that transform itself off when you moved over a bump from the road? This often happens because of loose engine wire. These lumps in the streets can temporarily fix the problem till you deal with one more hit. FIXD will work the skim that you need but will then keep checking your automobile till you unplug the tool. If it discovers any upcoming issues, the iphone app will immediately alert you of what it discovered.

Suited to A lot less Experienced Users

Whilst you could buy an experienced diagnostic instrument through the vehicle store, individuals tools are usually hard to use. Not merely are you looking to figure out exactly where to connect the tool, but you will also have to see the difficult codes that turn up. Individuals regulations need that you entry a database and use the information offered to decide what you can do after that. Set usually takes the uncertainty from identifying and fixing your automobile. Once you perform a check out, it shows you in obvious and easy English just what it founds and what which means to your vehicle. After that you can get a fix completed without working with a data bank.

Vehicle Background

Dependant upon your age, you could possibly bear in mind your folks keeping a complete log of how many mls they drove as well as other information. The more aged age group often stored those specifics in a small laptop computer they stored in the glovebox. FIXD lets you record your vehicle’s record on your mobile phone and in a log that one could easily go through and access. Whenever that you just manage a check, it is going to create a report that reveals every thing it found. You have access to each of all those past tests and view all the information that you have to understand the reputation of your car.

Secure Data

Any moment which you use a wireless gadget, you may worry about your individual data. This is especially frequent among individuals who use the internet as a result of info breaches experienced by Target and other major retailers. When using FIXD though, you never be concerned about information breaches. Though the app and instrument really do work with Bluetooth, as soon as you create a link between the tool and your cell phone, no one else can access that identical link. This makes certain that no one else can gain access to your analytical scans.

Money Back Refund

FIXD supplies a promise that essentially suggests the corporation isn’t satisfied until you are content. Once you get this device on-line from Amazon or some other shop, you possess as much as 1 month to try it out yourself. When you choose that you aren’t delighted, you can return it within that time for any total return. This is a wonderful way for you to make certain that the tool not just works with your model and make but which it will discover the information that you require. You might find that you prefer a analytical tool capable of tracking and scanning other places of your engine.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Cars/Fixd-Reviews-102691621108992/

#Finest Diagnostic Sensor Evaluation: FIXD Analysis Sensor

[mayadusenbery-blog]

12 questions about that article on treating chronic pain with more pain

Edited to add: Some thoughts on Invisibilia's response to the criticism:

They say the piece was about a "small subset of chronic pain sufferers": young people with the "rare condition" Amplified Musculoskeletal Pain Syndrome (AMPS). First, AMPS is not a "condition"—it's an umbrella term (one that, as far as I can tell, is not widely used outside of these type of treatment programs). According to Hoffart, it covers “juvenile fibromyalgia, complex regional pain syndrome, localized pain, neuropathic pain, central sensitization syndrome.” So it appears to cover basically any unexplained/idiopathic neuropathic or functional pain syndrome in children and teens. I do not know how the pediatric versions of these syndromes may differ in prevalence (or anything else) from the adult versions. But, collectively, the adult versions are not rare in the least. Fibromyalgia alone is estimated to affect at least 4 million people (most of them women) in the U.S.

This story was clearly framed as part of a broader exploration of "how our culture's attitude towards pain has shifted over the past fifty years" so the idea that it was just about one condition and one program and "was not meant to serve as a commentary on all chronic pain experiences" is hard to buy. Plus, this story is part of a larger conversation about chronic pain. While these particular treatment programs are extreme and rare, the basic theory that unexplained chronic pain is caused by patients focusing too much attention on their pain/"conversion” of emotional distress into physical symptoms/reinforcement through “secondary gain”/etc. is one that much of the medical community still holds.

It is not some radical new theory; it is a very old theory. More to the point, it has been the default theory until quite recently. The long history of just assuming that unexplained pain syndromes (that, not incidentally, mostly affect women) are psychogenic or fabricated and, consequently, not scientifically researching them and dismissing sufferers as “malingerers, liars and hysterics” has had implications for our understanding of chronic pain in general. And how we understand what is now variously called "amplified" or "centralized" pain has implications for many, if not all, people with chronic pain.

I am not against interdisciplinary pain treatment programs. I'm not against behavioral pain management techniques. I am certainly not against incorporating psychotherapy into any pain management approach.

I am against pretending we understand what is happening in "the mind" when what we really mean is that we don't understand what is happening in the body. I am against accepting unfalsifiable and highly implausible theories by default instead of doing actual science. I'm against treating patients on the basis of those unproven theories with unbelievably little regard for the potential harm to them if we are wrong.

Original post:

I don’t know what questions the journalists asked the experts in this NPR story about programs that treat unexplained chronic pain conditions in kids by forcing them “to push their bodies until they are in tons of pain” in order to retrain their brains to ignore pain.

But these are the questions I would have asked them:

1) What evaluations do patients undergo before the program to determine that there isn't an undiagnosed condition or injury that explains their pain? Literally, what lab tests and imaging is ordered? How many specialists have independently reviewed their case? How sure are you (as a percentage) that you have ruled out every possible underlying cause of the pain before accepting a patient into your program? 2) Your program is based on the theory that the pain persists because patients focus on it. But what is your theory for how the pain begins? How do you explain experiences like Devyn's in which the pain began suddenly out of the blue?

3) There are many pain experts who believe that what you call "amplified pain" is indeed caused by an amplification of the pain processing system but is due to sensitization at the level of neuron, not mediated by psychological factors like attentional focus. What evidence specifically convinces you that your theory is the more likely one? And what evidence would convince you that your theory is incorrect? Is your theory falsifiable?

4) You theorize that the pain is an expression of emotional distress in kids who are "not in touch with their feelings" and "don't have the sophisticated emotional skills they need to manage in an increasingly stressful world." Given that girls are generally more emotionally intelligent and in touch with their feelings than boys, what is your explanation for why girls are disproportionately affected by these pain syndromes? And if your theory about the root cause of the pain is correct, wouldn't the factor that explains the gender difference then need to be something nearly universal—like, say, sex-based genetic or hormonal differences—to produce such a marked gender imbalance in the opposite direction? And if that’s the case, wouldn’t that suggest that biological factors play a more important role than your theory allows for? 5) Many other experts in what you call amplified pain recommend exercise because of its physiological effect on the pain processing system. What makes you believe that any benefit from your program is due to the experience of pain and not the direct effect of the exercise itself? Have you done a study in which one control group got the exercise only (or the exercise, therapy, and breathing exercises) but without the focus on ignoring the pain? 6) Similarly, learning to distract yourself or even disassociate from the pain is a common way of coping with pain, both acute pain and chronic pain explained by an underlying disease or injury. Have you done a study in which you put patients with "explained" chronic pain conditions (say, rheumatoid arthritis patients) through the same treatment program? If patients with "explained" chronic pain report comparable reductions in pain wouldn't that suggest that what you are offering is not a treatment of the root cause of the pain but simply a (very unpleasant) way of teaching patients some pain coping skills? 7) Your program is rooted in a belief that you should not give more attention to patients' pain complaints. An asthma attack and a nosebleed are not pain complaints. What possible justification was there to ignore these problems in Devyn? 8) Upon completion of your program, what training do you provide to patients and their parents about how to differentiate between their existing pain, which they are instructed to ignore, and new pain complaints that may be a warning sign of an unrelated potentially life-threatening medical problem? 9) How did you get permission to implement this treatment program if the approach has never been proven safe and effective in large controlled studies? Do you inform patients and their parents of the untested, experimental nature of the program?

10) You believe that the alarmingly high and rising rates of chronic pain in the US are caused by the fact that American society has "focused way too much attention on aggressively relieving pain" and our medical system "asks patients to rate their pain on a scale of 1 to 10, and treats it like an emergency." How does this theory square with the overwhelming amount of evidence that pain is frequently undertreated in the US medical system, physicians get little training on pain management, and most continue to see pain as a diagnostic clue and not a problem in and of itself?

11) As our understanding of the neurobiology of pain has gotten progressively more sophisticated over the decades, many other previously inexplicable aspects of pain that we resorted to explaining in psychological terms have become explained in physiological ones (for example, phantom limb pain). Doesn’t this history give you pause about the wisdom of resorting to psychological theories for pain that is currently “unexplained”?

12) You clearly believe wholeheartedly that your theory is correct. What if you are wrong?

[bettsfic]

Hey so like...how do u justify romanticising a minor/adult relationship bc as a minor it kinda makes me uncomfortable. You’re an amazing writer, I just don’t quite get why you chose the age gap

before i address your question directly, and i will, i want to point out a few things that confuse me about this ask.

first, the admission of being a minor with the implication you’ve read my work, and now outright interacting with me. i’ve written maybe half a dozen g- and t-rated fics, and none of them are particularly popular, which i’m guessing means you’ve read my explicit fics, which means you’ve clicked past Ao3′s polite “18+ only” warning. my apologies if this assumption is incorrect – maybe you really have only read my three or four gen/teen-rated fics. that just seems very unlikely to me because all of my more popular fics are mature and explicit.

now, while admitting you are a minor made uncomfortable by minor/adult relationships, you have directly approached me, a 29 year old woman, to ask me why i’ve made the choices i’ve made. granted, by going on anon, you’ve ensured that this is a public forum, but if you’d PM’d me, i wouldn’t have responded, because i am not here to interact with minors.

which brings me to my conclusion of this portion of the ask, which is: i am not writing for minors and i do not want to interact with minors. i can’t control what you read or don’t read and it’s absolutely not my responsibility to cater to you in any way, especially if you knowingly and voluntarily click past the 18+ warning. but i can control my personal interactions, and i urge you not to reach out to me again. 

next i’m going to nitpick the word “romanticize” which is a word heavy in the current moral rhetoric. literally speaking, you are right. i am making an age gap romance romantic. rhetorically speaking, to “romanticize” something means to flatten or gloss over it, sweep potential consequences under the rug. to romanticize abuse, for example, is to make it beautiful, to ignore all the trauma and pain that comes along with it. (i think it is a worthy artistic endeavor to attempt to romanticize abuse in fiction, if for only the ability to highlight how fucked up abusive relationships can feel in the moment, but that’s a rant for another time).

since you haven’t read training wheels, i can tell you outright i am not romanticizing a minor/adult relationship. there are certainly unrealistic/porny moments, but i’m not shying away from the actual emotional consequences of being a 17yo* girl dating a 25yo man. i’m doing my best to depict this relationship the way these relationships are actually felt, because they do happen, and i have been in them. they can be very romantic, but that doesn’t mean i’m romanticizing them. though we’re not in his pov, bellamy is acutely aware of the greater context of their relationship. and clarke, who has no context, is doing her best to navigate the difficulty of her situation, semi-aware that it’s something that will be haunting her for a long, long time. 

i am not beautifying the ugliness of their relationship; i am not fetishizing (another word i take issue with) the minor body. being in clarke’s pov means that bellamy is object of desire, and meanwhile we get, through clarke’s thoughts, the sometimes awkward and confusing realization of what it means to be wanted, loved, used, seen, broken, trespassed, and all the other things teenage girls sometimes have to navigate. 

and i have one more thing to say before i answer your actual question: you are allowed to be uncomfortable reading fiction. in fact, i think you should be uncomfortable reading fiction. all art should make us uncomfortable, because in discomfort lies broader awareness. by consuming things which push at the boundaries of our narrow reality, we are capable of widening that reality, and that’s what it means to learn and grow and become the people we want to be. you cannot become a better, stronger, wiser person without facing and overcoming that which makes you uncomfortable. 

i also resent a bit the implication that i, a fanfic writer, a queer woman, am beholden to appeasing your comfort when straight white male writers are not. i assume you’re not sending jroth letters about how murphy’s sex slavery arc in s3 made you uncomfortable. or that the entire premise of the show revolves around putting a hundred minors in a ship and dropping them onto a potentially lethal planet. or raven, a teenager, sleeping with bellamy, an adult, in s1. and that’s not even mentioning the violence perpetuated against minors in the show. they die! and they bleed! like, a lot!! charlotte, a 12yo girl, dies a gruesome death in s1. they are minors forced to kill or be killed in exceedingly violent ways, and you’re in my inbox asking why i’m writing a fic that depicts a loving and consensual relationship between a 17yo (clarke’s canonical age in s1) and a 25yo. 

now i’ll answer your actual ask.

you use the word “justify” as if i had to do some kind of logistical puzzle to make this fic morally okay in my eyes. i can tell you now, i did not, because the story exists to navigate that logistical puzzle on its own. the conflict poses the question: is this okay? is this wrong? what about it is wrong? for what reasons is it wrong? and i also attempt (in a clunky way because it’s a bit rough, plot-wise) to navigate what “informed consent” really means to a 17yo who has no information to go off of. for me it’s an experiment in what consent really is. clarke wants bellamy, but she doesn’t have a full awareness of the consequences of that want, so is it truly consensual? what does bellamy have to do to fully inform her of those consequences? is it even his responsibility, or should clarke take more agency over her experiences? and lastly, the most interesting question of them all to me – what happens to the minors in consensual age gap relationships? how do they cope with that experience years later? in what ways does it change them?

though it’s not my responsibility to indulge my personal ties to this conflict in order to further “justify” it, i can assure you, i am writing this from clarke’s pov having been the younger party in many age gap relationships, at times a minor. at times coerced. at times completely uninformed. but each time, consensual. i sought out the men i dated. i took the lead. i propositioned them. and i consider: how has that affected me and the way i love now? 

my mom at 20, married my dad, 32. my older sister at 16, met her (now ex) husband, her then-boss, at 23 (they waited until she was 18 to start dating). i dated an 18yo and then a 19yo when i was 14. a 21yo when i was 16. a 32yo when i was 19. a 47yo when i was 22. but i also had a long-term relationship with someone who was just three months younger than me. age gap is not the only way i know how to love, but it is certainly a way to love, and one i find, in lieu of seeking it out in reality, narratively compelling. so i write about those experiences in order to better understand them now that i’m older. in order to take them apart and piece them back together. in order to, in some cases, relive them, because i enjoyed so much about them. 

i don’t pursue older men anymore because i no longer seek male validation. i don’t meet a handsome middle-aged man and need him to love me to feel like my existence in the world is warranted. but that doesn’t mitigate all the old habits and drive and potentially genetic disposition that led me to relentlessly pursuing them in the first place. so now i sublimate that into fiction and offer my experience and understanding to others who might be predisposed in the same way, or people who are not and curious about what that experience is like. and that’s what fiction does.

lastly, i’ve sort of saturated myself in age gap stories. i’ve watched every age gap movie i can get my hands on, read every book. i dive through google and ao3 looking for age gap recs, seeking out the one story or fic or movie that not only gets the relationship right, but figures out how to make it work. that’s all i want – a realistic, plausible solution to this very delicate and complicated kind of relationship. and i can’t find that story, so i’ve decided to write it myself. 

training wheels is an uncomfortable story about a romantic minor/adult relationship and the realistic psychological consequences of it, both in the immediate present and long-term, and you are supposed to be made uncomfortable by it, regardless of your age. it makes romantic but does not romanticize age gap relationships. i do not take the morality of this story lightly, nor its meaning or intentions. whether i succeed in this is up to interpretation, and i can’t control that interpretation, but i can tell you with certainty what my intentions have been going into this story, and exactly why i’ve made the decisions i’ve made regarding it. 

*the age of consent in ohio, where training wheels is set, is 16. i recognize the current rhetoric around this is “legality is not morality” or whatever, but again – the purpose of training wheels is in part to directly address this conflict

#training wheels #crybaby verse #discourse #tsatp #Anonymous

[everyonesfavouritealiens]

Interview with Tyler Blackburn from Pretty Little Liars | By Maranda Pleasant

Maranda Pleasant: What inspires you the most?

Tyler Blackburn: I know this might sound a little cliche but, I feel like everybody is searching for the same thing, and that is truth. I think that’s sort of the journey to define that which is most inspirational. Even in acting, when I watch an actor who I find to be so truthful in their craft, or a musician who gets up there and sings so truthfully—I like that. I really like individualism based on truth. That’s something I try to think about. What do I actually think about that, what do I actually feel right now? As opposed what should I feel.

MP: Love that. Powerful. What is it that makes you vulnerable?

TB: I’m very sensitive. It’s always been something I’m very in tune with. I am very emotional. Sometimes to the point of where I just want to hide away, because I can’t get a handle on myself. I don’t mind that idea. Vulnerability is kind of one of those things of, how do I really feel in this moment?

Wow, this is when I’m the most vulnerable. Obviously when I’m put in a situation where there is a lot of attention on me, it’s this weird dichotomy—I like it, because I feel like I’m a natural born performer. But I do feel the most vulnerable.

As life goes on I’m learning to trust myself more, so I am more comfortable— you have to be, doing things in front of people, especially when there’s lots of pressure. I have to make decisions. When you’re put in a position where you’re having to decide, Is this a good decision? Is this the right decision for everybody involved?—it makes me feel a little unsteady, unsure.

MP: Wow. I really appreciate that level of honesty. How do you process pain?

TB: I don’t have one go-to way to deal because circumstances change. One thing I’m recognizing more and more in myself—and looking to change—is going down more of a self-destructive path when I feel pain. I’m trying to avoid that as much as possible. That is an impulse, when I feel out of control. We don’t really understand why we feel what we do in that moment, so it’s almost like I’m trying to take control, even if it’s bad control. I do try to experience the emotions as they come, but sometimes it becomes just too much.

I lost my cousin. It’s been about a month. He’s a year younger than me. He OD’d. It was three days before my birthday. I grew up with this guy. It was such an intense scenario. I went through so many emotions. It kind of ran the gamut of anger and sadness and self-destruction and all those things.

MP: I understand.

TB: Even just talking about it, that’s very cathartic, too. That’s one way of doing that. Actually putting it out as a truth as opposed to trying to conceal it from yourself.

MP: I’m with you. I tend to isolate. Put on the Damien Rice and go paint and isolate for days and drink too much. [laughing] I get it. I’m learning more positive ways of handling myself.

TB: Absolutely. I don’t know about you but I look back at my sort of wilder days where I was doing lots of drugs, and I thought I was just trying to have a good time, but I was covering up so much pain. I haven’t done any drugs for five years now. Now I’m actually presented with these problems and I’m looking at them differently. I see even the small things. Like you said, Damien Rice—he’s perfect for those moments!

MP: You can get really f*cked up on Damien Rice!

TB: Oh my god, I know! I love the album O.

MP: When you run out of Damien Rice you always switch over to Glen Hansard. You said you’ve been clean for five years?

TB: I haven’t done any drugs for five years. I don’t even smoke pot anymore.

MP: That’s great. How was that process for you? Was there a wake up call?

TB: It mostly starts with a decision. I was inching towards making that final decision but I would always retract. It became a vicious cycle. I started realizing that I was no longer having fun with it. It was all-consuming. I had support from my girlfriend at the time. She didn’t do drugs. That was really helpful. I did do a sort of a detox program. I didn’t go to rehab or anything like that. It was a lighter detox program that really eliminates drugs and toxins from your body. Keeps the cravings and stuff from coming back. That made it a lot easier. And then just really reshaping myself.

It’s just so funny—as soon as I did that, that’s when I started booking acting work, which was my dream. So many things have gotten so much better. My life is just in a completely different place and I’m so happy about that.

MP: Deep bow. That is not an easy thing to do. Tell me what you’re passionate about? I heard you speak out against bullying?

TB: My interests lie in nurturing children. That’s part of the reason why the bullying thing has become an aspect of my life. I was bullied a lot growing up. I know firsthand the amount of life that is sucked out of you every time that happens, and how it affected me as a young adult. I was asked if I wanted to do a campaign through Seventeen magazine. And I was like, “Wow, yeah, I would like to.”

It was one of the first moments that I realized that being on a TV show didn’t stop when the director says, “Cut.” There’s a responsibility level that comes along with being a public figure. I can use this for really cool things. That really [allows] me to be very honest about my experiences.

I used to want to kill myself because I had lost so much of who I knew I was because of all the other invalidation from people. It sends you spiraling where you’re like, Wait, I know I have this quality, I know what my integrity is—until you’re being fed all this false information about yourself. You start to wonder why. You don’t feel good about yourself because you no longer believe in yourself.

It’s so important for everybody at every age, but especially kids. High school is a really strange time—you’re not a kid, you’re not an adult. You’re about to be an adult, you’re going to have to make some really intense decisions. It’s a really pivotal time to have as much self-confidence as you possibly can. Even if that means you have one friend who supports you completely. I’m sort of ranting but…

MP: I like your rant! Keep going.

TB: Thanks! I just feel like that spoke to me a lot. I know that the demographic for the show [Pretty Little Liars is pretty much high school students. Not all, but I know that’s a big part of it. I find that again, it’s beneficial to be as truthful as possible. I know that when that magazine issue came out, I got so many tweets about that, saying, Thank you for being honest. It was just really great.

I got to go to an anti-bullying rally in Washington, DC. That was really cool. Parents spoke whose kids have killed themselves because of bullying. It makes me sad. I was there and all the people on the panel were there to raise awareness about that. It’s fulfilling to me in a way that I had never experienced before. I love to act, I love that aspect of my life, but the fact that that sort of parlayed into this other sort of feeling of fulfillment was unbelievable. Now I’m Global Ambassador for Stomp Out Bully. I don’t get to do as much work with them as I would like to.

MP: Thank you for that, by the way. I was suicidal for years in my teens and even almost up into college. Just because of bullying. It doesn’t take long to start believing that stuff. Just living in fear and all kinds of self-worth issues—you don’t shake that off. It takes years to clear that.

TB: It does. In a lot of ways, certain things, it feels like they’re never going to go away. The best thing to do is continue to ask questions, look that fear in the eye.

I feel like from a very early age, we know who we are as individuals. I love when I see parents with their kids in these crazy outfits and they’re like, “That’s what they wanted to wear.” Those small things are so important.

That’s why I think children need to be nurtured for what they are as opposed to what you want them to be. I think that’s when those ideas come into your head of like, What should I feel in this moment? It’s because someone told you, “Your instinct was incorrect.” And you’re like, Why? Why is that wrong?

MP: What projects can we support you in right now?

TB: We just wrapped up the season of Pretty Little Liars. We’ve been working pretty hard on that. I am working on music presently, also through ABC Family. I’m recording some really great tracks right now.

MP: That’s right, you’re a musician.

TB: Mostly a singer. I just recently started writing lyrics. It’s been a new venture for me. I’m really proud of [what] I’m doing musically. The new season of Pretty Little Liars comes out around January 5th.

#tyler blackburn #this is an interview he did in 2013 for origin magazin #this is a real interview #I love him #he's a beautiful human being #interview #tw bullying #tw suicide

[sashagreypocket-blog]

Masturbate and Feel Good

male stroker "Masturbation... is simply not approved of the actual Lord not this religious organization, regardless of what can be said by those as their 'norms' are lower", Chief executive Kimball of the Religious organization involving Jesus Christ connected with Latter-Day Bienheureux (1981)

male stroker

"Every sperm is usually sacred. Each and every sperm is wonderful. If some sort of sperm is thrown away, Lord gets quite irate. very well Monty Python's The real meaning associated with Life.

A quotation generally used by various chapels in an effort for you to contain illicit serves amidst its people. Every single monserga on masturbation would likely estimate it, at least all of the sermons I have listened to. Within the circumstances, is the idea difficult to envision fleshlight as one of the particular biggest taboos in each of our society? Even today? Research education has done a new little to switch it. Can that mean people no longer masturbate? Certainly not. 00% of men and 70 percent of girls masturbate according to help various reports. The difficulty lies in the endorsement of the fact in which you masturbate. Clearly the story... a story regarding you.

A single night anyone were sitting on your own within your apartment eating lasagna. You decided to verify out a few new web sites on the net whilst you eat. So you journal on to the speed of your internet connection as well as start surfing. Inadvertently, you locate some piece of pornography(yes, online is quite entire of it! ) Shopping at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingley amongst the legs. One issue leads to an additional and also you end up going bad your own underpants. Now enable me tell you one more story.

One night you are sitting alone in any pub drinking beer. Along with then some sort of most wonderful person penetrates the club. The person that reasons tingley between your lower limbs just investigating him or even her. You decide this you can't release this kind of opportunity to get in order to know this creation regarding god. And that means you move to this person and initiate little talk. One thing contributes to another and you conclusion up in your current condo.

Whether you are a new woman or possibly a man, typically the next morning you actually more than likely be jumping using delight in the first event. When you go out and about in the nighttime to be able to meet your friends, a person would not necessarily tell these people about the hot website you found and precisely how an individual jerked off for you to it. Even so, in often the second case, less complicated sharing with anyone who cared for to help listen how you possessed by far the most wonderful experience involving your life you get. The reason why? Well, maybe simply because self applied pleasure is, effectively, practically nothing special. You can accomplish the item anytime you would like. Of course influencing the actual person of your ambitions is very an accomplishment. Zero wonder you may need an market. But what when you have the friend like me. A pal who is crazy plenty of individuals you did anyone wank off yesterday evening? Ended up being it good? Precisely what could you do then? Would likely you inform your friend concerning the hot web site along with your experience? Would you actually merely say, "Yeah! The idea was wonderful! What with regards to you? " Or maybe will you pretend nothing acquired happened and lie... similar to you were somewhere different yesterday night time, or perhaps lead your pal in order to believe you got happy having someone?

I in the morning guessing you would probably do the particular latter. Most certainly you'll not acknowledge the act connected with masturbation. Rather you might elude the question in addition to alter the topic. And any time your close friend tells a person about a hot cure the same night, an individual would want a jar of water when you could possibly drown. Shame as well as shame would come over anyone and you would transform the issue in two times quick time period. Are you actually crazy? Noway! You will be simply one of the vast majority. And an amazing majority with that! Way more bulk that what George Rose bush had in the very last elections! The reason why -social fitness!

You are the same as the child who ran outside the movies hall that was screening process an adult film (mind a person, he had absolutely no business that they are there inside the first place! However each of the cinemas care in relation to is the good discounts associated with their tickets! )

After in the day, typically the buddy who had also been at the movies along with him, caught up together with him or her and asked, "Why from the hell's name does an individual run out? micron The youngster answered, "My mom explained if My spouse and i watched a woman acquiring naked I would switch to gemstone. And darn you Harry, a aspect of me was actually becoming stone! "

Unfortunately, often the social conditioning is definitely inappropriate. It is while wrong for the reason that social issue in 18-19th hundred years Of india, where widows were being compelled to burn well using their husbands. As drastically wrong as the church ended up being in using up Galileo with regard to implying everything was definitely not the centre from the whole world. Lily Tomlin placed it ideal, "We have reason why you should consider that man first strolled upright to free the hands for masturbation! inch If god didn't desire us to masturbate, possibly we would still become walking such as dogs and also horses!

Typically the social health and fitness is a result regarding several myths, lies along with hoaxes perpetrated by many individuals regarding personal gain. Unfortunately, that conditioning is actually like a hard enthusiast, very tough to fracture. However, with effort in addition to chanelising your energies, you may break it. Remember, the actual nuts that crack the toughest, are often the versions that taste the top! Anyone must be wondering, what sort of hell does it subject if you are guilty about fleshlight. Why wouldn't you spend time smashing this housing?

Certain objective believe that guiltiness cognizant, whether sexual remorse or perhaps in any other application form, is the most detrimental element on your mental well being. Others find that it is one involving the most destructive. Yet the biggest effect connected with guilt conscious in my opinion offers been a lack associated with confidence throughout self. At this point you are an brilliant reader. I don't want to clarify you the particular importance of self self-confidence. Specific your career, romantic relationships or any some other feature of life, lack regarding self-assurance can bring your own personal downfall. I am not really implying which will you start off to feel more secure regarding masturbation, you would certainly succeed in almost all features of life. But this will be nice step to be able to take. A useless sense of guilt that should, and they are eliminated from your mind. Recall, an ocean is built of tiny droplets involving water. Eradicate a decline at a time since due time, the water would be empty! Involving course it will take numerous millennia! The good news is, you have a tendency have an ocean rich in guily! Just some naggings occasionally!

The first action towards eradication with this shame is knowledge. There are actually hundreds and hundreds of myths around fleshlight. Most of them perpetrated by certitude, unfortunately. Nevertheless some perpetrated by simply con runners. Lets look into typically the most important ones.

one particular. Fleshlight is against often the will connected with god.

Hokum. At a single point the actual church regarded as anyone who else was overtly ardent for you to his wife a adultrater. Follow that instructing as well as your wife would end up being doing adultery! Several clergymen have become on record to help say which not merely the church's coaching concerning sexuality were not related in order to the scriptures, but that they can caused more harm when compared with good amongst people. Aside from, nowhere in the non secular instruction of any key foi is masturbation regarded incorrect.

2. Masturbation can cause erectile dysfunction.

Most men and even several girls seem to think and so. Wrong again. Lets undertake the repair of the males first. Its understandable that seeing their very own sperm flow out associated with themselves, they think that may end sometimes. Effectively, it will end eventually... maybe when you are generally 100 years old. Although until then don't be anxious. Your sperm bank is fairly unlike Standard Chartered. You could have unlimited credit here! Ejaculate is a completely replenishable useful resource, renewable on the hourly foundation! For girls, well, there is simply no schedule in the hypothesis. Probably perpetrated by outdated ladies who also never experienced an ejaculation in all their entire life!

several. Fleshlight causes acne, hairloss, skin area diseases.

This one will be my favorite. Mainly due to the fact it is one of several a great deal better scams of all occasions! Your own personal social conditioning would likely have you feel that fleshlight is not particularly healthy. But awful how? No person would present you a satisfying reply! Now some scam music artists saw this as a good fine opportunity to will sell their products just like frizzy hair growth lotions, etc. Considering that most people start masturbating throughout their teens, (the periods of pimple and additional skin problems), they'd possess you believe that this particular is a result of masturbation! Unfortunately for them, it is seeing that untrue as the direct sun light rising from the western world! Fleshlight has no actual side effects!

some. Masturbating will make you slender and skinny!

Then there is no need for diet program pills and exercise routines my friend! And almost all surely 70% of US would not be overweight!

your five. Merely Kids masturbate!

Exactly why can you say that? My partner and i wonder! Very well quite not true, most grownups masturbate... yes even after marital life!

some. Masturbation is for guys.

And it is intended for 70% in the women way too. That's right, 2/3 regarding all females masturbate!

8. Only losers masturbate!

Yet another of my favorites. Simply goes to show merely how much of the taboo is masturbation! Right off the bat, 00% of males and also seventy percent of females have got masturbated at least once with their existence. Now that will is a hell of your lot of losers avoid you feel! Nothing far more that I can also add genuinely... this is really the particular supreme insecurity amongst men and women with regards to self pleasure.

6. Fleshlight is for homosexuals.

Wow. Exactly where did in which one originate! An individual have to make a etymology of the myths, would make to get an intriguing read! Merely as untrue because just about all these myths, masturbation along with homosexuality have nothing in accordance. Some people masturbate to be able to their dreams of contrary sex, some others to their own fantasies of similar sexual. That's it.

being unfaithful. Fleshlight will make you impaired!

Others claim that fleshlight is usually bad for your personal eyesight. Nonetheless their states are unsupported by specifics and health care advice. We suggest you talk for you to your standard physician in addition to he will describe anyone what a load involving bull this is.

twelve. Fleshlight changes the appearance of your manhood

Nicely, it does make the idea firm. But believe us, after you orgasm, the firmness fully gone! So no. Fleshlight provides absolutely no influence on how the penis appears to be.

[brigdh]

Book Blogging

A Tyranny of Queens by Foz Meadows. The sequel to the portal fantasy I read last month. Most of the plot here is fallout from the climax of that book: Saffron has returned back to Earth from the fantasy world of Kena, but can she re-adjust to a 'normal' life? And if not, what choices will she make? Yena's adopted sister died in the final battle, but can Yena reclaim religious rights for her sister's funeral and learn more about her mysterious heritage? The evil king has been overthrown, but escaped – where is he and what caused his actions? What's up with the mysterious magic artifact he left behind in the castle? Sadly, I didn't like this book nearly as much as its predecessor. The biggest problem is simply a shift in the use of characters; whereas the first book divided its pages fairly evenly among a vast cast, A Tyranny of Queens is hugely dominated by Saffron and Yena. And I'm sorry to say it, but they're the most boring characters in this series. Both are an example of the 'normal teen girl dealing with events outside her experience' archetype, which is a fine enough archetype as far as it goes, but not one that's particularly exciting unless you give her some sort of distinctive personality trait, anything other than 'determined', 'hard-working', 'smart'. Buffy wanted to date boys and wear cute clothes; Katniss wanted to be left alone and was unexpectedly ruthless; Saffron wants... ? The characters who did grab my attention in An Accident of Stars are pushed mostly off-screen here. Yasha, the grumpy, staff-wielding elderly matriarch who was revealed late in the first book to be an exiled queen, gets something like ten lines of dialogue in this entire book. Viya, the young, spoiled but trying hard to improve noblewoman who is named co-ruler of Kena at the end of the first book, and thus should be navigating the delicate balance of maintaining equality of power while still learning to handle so much responsibility, gets literally two scenes out of three hundred pages. And so on through a whole list of really cool characters. Instead we get multiple chapters of Saffron arguing with her guidance counselor, then her parents, then her social worker over whether she should apologize to one of her high school teachers over a minor incident caused by a bully. Exciting fantasy! My second problem with the book, unfortunately, is much more fundamental. The plot revolves around discovering that the evil king wasn't really evil after all, but was brainwashed. I'm sure this is an attempt to do an interesting redemption arc, or to look at how even the worst-seeming villains have their reasons, but it didn't work for me at all. It felt like a cop-out to remove blame from the king by passing it on to a historic figure from centuries ago (who never gets an explanation for his evil actions, so Meadows hasn't really complicated the role of villains so much as pushed the question a few steps outside the main narrative). None of the many people who died in the wars he started or were tortured in his pursuit of knowledge get a voice in this second book, so I kept feeling as though the suffering he caused was conveniently being swept under the rug to get readers to feel sorry for him. In addition, for a book that tries so hard to be progressive, ending with 'it's not the king's fault! He was manipulated by a foreign woman who made him fall in love with her!' is, uh... not a great look. All in all, a disappointing book. But there was enough good about the series that I'll give the author another chance. The Written World: How Literature Shaped Civilization by Martin Puchner. A nonfiction book that makes its way through human history via the medium of literature. Each of sixteen chapters focuses on a particular classic and shows how it both influenced and was influenced by contemporary events, from Homer's Odyssey giving Alexander the Great a hero to model himself after to The Communist Manifesto inspiring revolutions across the world. A subthread is the development of the technologies of literature itself – the inventions of the alphabet, paper, the printing press, ebooks, etc. It's a pretty neat idea for a book! Unfortunately the execution is terrible. I started off being annoyed that Puchner never seems quite clear on what he means by the term 'literature'. He implies it only includes written works (in the Introduction he says, "It was only when storytelling intersected with writing that literature was born."), and yet many of the pieces he choses to focus on were primarily composed orally (The Odyssey and the Iliad, The Epic of Sunjata, the Popul Vuh, probably the Epic of Gilgamesh, certainly at least parts of One Thousand and One Nights). And yet there's never any discussion of what it means to go from an oral mode to a written one, a topic I was eagerly awaiting to see analyzed. It's just... never addressed beyond a passing mention here and there. Okay, fine, I thought to myself, Puchner means 'literature' as in 'stories'. But that doesn't work either, since once again many of his choices don't tell any sort of narrative (Saint Paul's letters, Martin Luther's theses, Benjamin Franklin's 'Poor Richard's Almanac', Confucius's Analects, Mao's 'Little Red Book'). So what does Puchner mean by literature, the central organizing principle of his whole book? God alone knows. My irritation with the book deepened when I got to Chapter Four, where Puchner claims credit for inventing the concept of the Axial Age: "It was only in the course of trying to understand the story of literature that I noticed a striking pattern in the teaching of the Buddha, Confucius, Socrates, and Jesus. Living within a span of a few hundred years but without knowing of one another, these teachers revolutionized the world of ideas. Many of today’s philosophical and religious schools—Indian philosophy, Chinese philosophy, Western philosophy, and Christianity—were shaped by these charismatic teachers. It was almost as if in the five centuries before the Common Era, the world was waiting to be instructed, eager to learn new ways of thinking and being. But why? And what explained the emergence of these teachers?" Sure, dude, sure. You came up with this vastly original idea all on your own. (To be fair, if one choses to read through the endnotes, Puchner does cite Karl Jaspers, though he still insists his own version is ~so different~.) He then proceeds to get basic information about the Buddha completely wrong. For example: Some form of writing may have existed in India during the Buddha’s time (the so-called Indus Valley script may not have been a full writing system and remains undeciphered). This sentence. I can't even. I almost stopped reading the book right here, it's so incredibly incorrect. It's like saying, "Thomas Jefferson may have been literate, but since we find no Latin engravings in his house, we can't be sure." Let me lay out the problems. The Buddha lived around 500BCE; the last known well-accepted use of the Indus script was in 1900BCE. That's a gap of nearly two millennia. The Indus script was used on the western edge of South Asia, in Pakistan and the Indian states of Gujarat and Haryana; the Buddha lived on the eastern edge, in Nepal. At minimum, they're 500 miles apart. There is no chance in hell the Indus script was remotely relevant to writing about the Buddha. And in fact, we don't need to guess at the script of the Buddha's time and place. It's called Brahmi and it's quite well attested – though Puchner doesn't once mention it. He does include a photo of an Indus seal, because why not waste more space on utterly irrelevant information. Let's quickly go through the problems on the rest of this single page: What mattered above all were the age-old hymns and stories of the Vedas, which were transmitted orally by specially appointed Brahmans for whom remembering the Vedas was an obligation and a privilege. Though the Vedas do have an important oral history, they were certainly written down by the time of the Buddha, and possibly as early as 1000BCE. The oldest Indian epic, the Ramayana, was also orally composed and only later written down, much like Homeric epics. The Mahabharata is generally considered to be the older of the two epics. Despite my disillusionment at this point, I continued on with the book. And to be fair, I noticed many fewer mistakes! Though possibly because I know much less about Renaissance Germany or Soviet Russia than I do about Indian history. I did hit several problems again in the chapter on the Popul Vuh, the Mayan epic. To begin with, the chapter opens with a long dramatic scene recreating the Spanish conquistadores' capture of Atahualpa, the Incan emperor. Incan. Who lived in Peru, in South America. The Classic Mayan culture was based in Mexico, Guatemala, and Belize – North America and a bit of Central America. This time Puchner is literally on the wrong continent. Once he finally makes his way up to the Mayan homeland, he focuses his narration on Diego de Landa, a Spanish priest who did indeed write an important ethnography of the Mayans of the 1500s. The Classic Mayan Era was over by 950CE, introducing a discrepancy Puchner does not deign to acknowledge. Even aside from that small problem, Puchner describes Landa's writings multiple times as "an account [...] that has remained the primary source of information on Maya culture." This entirely ignores not only the Popul Vuh itself; but the multiple other Mayan codices that survived Spanish colonialism; the many Mayan writings carved on their pyramids, palaces, and stele, and painted on their pottery; their murals of war, sport, and history; the enormous archaeological record of their cities, technology, and diet; and, oh yeah, the fact that Mayan people are still around today. Oh, my bad – Puchner does remember the Mayans still exist. Here's what he has to say about them: "My journey began in the Lacandon jungle. A bus dropped me at the border of the Maya territory, where a beat-up truck picked me up at the side of the road. The village of several dozen huts was located in a clearing in the jungle. Everyone but me was dressed in what looked like long white nightgowns. Men and women both wore their black hair shoulder length (I thought of the shipwrecked sailor who had gone native), and most of them walked around barefoot, sometimes donning rubber boots." That's it. That's literally the only mention of the modern Mayan people. (Puchner's in the area to learn about the Zapatista uprising, to which he devotes the rest of the chapter.) I'm so glad he spent ages detailing that and de Landa's biography instead of devoting any space at all to the contemporary persistence of Mayan beliefs, language, or rituals. When I first read its blurb, I looked forward to the rest of The Written World. Unfortunately it's the closest I've come to hurling a book at the wall in a long, long time. I read this as an ARC via NetGalley.

[DW link for ease of commenting]

#books #book reviews #foz meadows #martin puchner #netgalley

[bestseopackage56-blog]

Masturbate and Feel Good

Masturbate and Feel Good

masturbator "Masturbation... is not approved of often the Lord or this ceremony, regardless of what may be said by those whoever 'norms' are lower", Director Kimball of the Religious organization regarding Jesus Christ involving Latter-Day New orleans saints (1981) "Every sperm will be sacred. Each sperm is fantastic. If a new sperm is sacrificed, The almighty gets quite irate. " Monty Python's What it is really all about involving Life. A price usually used by various church buildings in an effort to contain illicit serves among its people. Every arenga on masturbation would offer it, at least each of the sermons I have noticed. Underneath the circumstances, is the idea difficult to imagine masturbation as one of typically the biggest taboos in all of our society? Even today? Research education has done a new little to change it. Does that mean people no longer masturbate? Certainly not. 00% of men and seventy percent of girls masturbate according for you to various research. The difficulty lies in the acknowledgement of the fact in which you masturbate. Without a doubt a story... a story with regards to you. A single night an individual were sitting by yourself in your apartment eating nachos. You decided to check out out many new web sites on the net whilst you eat. So you log on to your internet connection and start surfing. Inadvertently, you come across some piece of pornography(yes, the web is quite entire of it! ) Looking at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingley regarding the legs. One matter leads to one more along with you end up ruining your own personal underpants. Now permit me tell you another story. masturbator One night that you were sitting alone in some sort of pub drinking beer. In addition to then a new most gorgeous person gets into the bar. The person that will cause tingley between your hip and legs just investigating him as well as her. You decide that will you can't forget about this specific opportunity to get to help know this creation involving god. Therefore you move in direction of this person and start smaller talk. One thing causes another and you end up in your residence. Whether you are some sort of woman or maybe a man, typically the next morning anyone didn't be jumping with pleasure in the first case. When you go away in the night time to help meet your friends, a person would definitely not tell these individuals about the hot internet site you found and the way you actually jerked off to help it. Nevertheless, in typically the second case, you'd be better with informing anyone who cared to listen how you had by far the most wonderful experience regarding your life you get. The reason why? Well, maybe because self applied pleasure is, effectively, practically nothing special. You can complete that anytime you would like. Of course influencing the person of your aspirations is fairly an accomplishment. Simply no wonder you require an visitors. But what if you have a new friend like me. A buddy who is crazy ample might you did you actually wank off yesterday night? Seemed to be it good? Precisely what would you do then? Would certainly you inform your friend concerning the hot web site and also your experience? Would an individual simply say, "Yeah! The idea was wonderful! What with regards to you? " Or even would likely you pretend nothing experienced happened and lie... something such as you were somewhere else yesterday night time, or possibly lead your friend for you to believe you got blessed together with someone? I feel guessing you would do the actual latter. Most certainly you will not acknowledge the act associated with masturbation. Rather you would likely elude the question along with replace the topic. And when your buddy tells you actually about a hot cure the same night, a person would wish you had a bowl of water when you might drown. Shame and also remorse would come over anyone and you would adjust the issue in two times quick period. Are an individual crazy? Noway! That you are just simply one of the vast majority. And a serious majority at that! Way more majority that what George Bush had in the previous elections! The main reason -social physical fitness! You are just like the child who ran from the movies hall that was screening an adult film (mind you actually, he had no business of a person there in the first place! Nevertheless the many cinemas care regarding is the great deals associated with their tickets! ) After in the day, often the buddy who had been at the movies having him, caught up together with your pet and asked, "Why inside the hell's name have anyone run out? micron The boy answered, "My mom told me if We watched a woman getting naked I would change to gemstone. And damn you Harry, a element of me was currently getting to be stone! " Unfortunately, the social conditioning is definitely wrong. It is while wrong for the reason that social ailment in 18-19th hundred years The indian subcontinent, where widows ended up pressured to burn living having their husbands. As inappropriate as the church was in using up Galileo for implying everything was definitely not the centre in the galaxy. Lily Tomlin place it ideal, "We have reason why you should believe that man first stepped upright to free his / her hands for masturbation! very well If god didn't need us to masturbate, maybe we would still always be walking such as dogs along with horses! The particular social fitness is a result connected with many myths, lies in addition to scams perpetrated by quite a few individuals with regard to personal help. Unfortunately, this specific conditioning is usually like a hard enthusiast, very tough to crack. However, with effort along with chanelising your energies, you may break it. Remember, often the nuts that crack the hardest, are often the kinds that taste the very best! You must be wondering, what sort of hell does it issue if you think guilty about masturbation. Why should you spend time breaking this case? Certain research psychologists believe that remorse informed, whether sexual sense of guilt or in any other form, is the most destructive element to your mental wellness. Others still find it one associated with the most destructive. However the finest effect associated with guilt conscious in my experience possesses been a lack involving confidence with self. Right now you are an sensible reader. I don't have to have to clarify you typically the importance of self self-confidence. Whether it be your career, human relationships or any some other aspect of life, lack of assurance can bring your current downfall. Now I am definitely not implying which will you start off to feel more comfortable in relation to masturbation, you would succeed in most elements of life. But it would be a nice step in order to take. A useless guilt that should, and is eliminated from your mind. Take into account, an ocean is built of smaller droplets regarding water. Remove a decline at a time and in due time, the marine would be empty! Involving course it will take many millennia! The good thing is, you have a tendency have an ocean brimming with guily! Just some naggings here and there! The first phase towards eradication on this guiltiness is knowledge. You will discover countless numbers of myths around fleshlight. Most of them perpetrated by religious beliefs, unfortunately. But some perpetrated by simply con runners. Lets check out the most important ones. just one. Fleshlight is against often the will of god. Bullshit. At 1 point typically the church regarded anyone who else was overtly enthusiastic in order to his wife the adultrater. Follow that instructing along with your wife would become choosing adultery! Several clergymen have been put on record in order to say that not solely the church's theories in relation to sexuality were unconnected for you to the scriptures, but they will caused more harm than good amongst people. Furthermore, nowhere in the strict theories of any key certitude is masturbation viewed as incorrect. 2. Masturbation may cause impotency. Most adult men and even a number of ladies seem to think therefore. Wrong again. Lets undertake the repair of the males first. It is understandable that seeing their own sperm flow out involving their body, they think this may end someday. Nicely, it will end eventually... maybe when you are usually 100 years old. Yet until then don't get worried. Your sperm bank is very unlike Standard Chartered. You could have unlimited credit here! Semen is a completely replenishable learning resource, renewable on the hourly foundation! For females, well, there is no foundation in the hypothesis. Probably perpetrated by old ladies who have never experienced an orgasmic pleasure in their very own entire life! 3. Masturbation causes acne, hair thinning, skin diseases. This one is definitely my favorite. Mainly mainly because it is one of many a great deal better scams of all times! Your own social conditioning would likely have you imagine that fleshlight is not particularly healthy. But poor how? No-one would present you a satisfying answer! Now some scam music artists saw this as a good excellent opportunity to easily sell their products such as locks growth lotions, etc. Given that most people start masturbating throughout their teens, (the occasions of acne breakouts and additional skin problems), they would have you believe that this kind of is a result of masturbation! Unluckily for them, this is as untrue as the sun rising from the to the west! Fleshlight has no actual physical side effects! four. Masturbating will make you slender and skinny! Then there would be no need for diet program pills and health and fitness routines my friend! And the majority of certainly 70% of USA more than likely be overweight! a few. Simply Kids masturbate! Precisely why would you say that? My spouse and i wonder! Nicely quite untrue, most older people masturbate... you got it even after matrimony! some. Masturbation is for males. And it is for 70% with the women too. That's right, 2/3 involving all females masturbate! 8. Only losers masturbate! A different of my favorites. Just goes to show simply how much of the taboo is masturbation! Initial thing, 99% of males and 70% of females have got masturbated at least once throughout their existence. Now in which is a hell of a lot of losers avoid you believe! Nothing much more that I can also add actually... this is really often the supreme insecurity amongst men and women about self pleasure. main. Masturbation is for homosexuals. Wow. Exactly where did that one originate! An individual must make a etymology of the myths, would make regarding an exciting read! Simply as untrue as just about all these myths, masturbation and homosexuality have nothing in keeping. Some people masturbate to help their fantasies of opposite sex, other folks to their fantasies of very same sexual. That's it. on the lookout for. Fleshlight will make you shutter! Others claim that masturbation is actually bad for your own personal eyesight. Nonetheless their statements are unsupported by specifics and medical advice. I suggest you talk to your general physician and he will reveal anyone what a load regarding bull this is. 15. Fleshlight changes the condition of your shaft Well, it does make this rock solid. But believe myself, when you orgasm, the firmness is dead! So no. Fleshlight provides absolutely no result on how your penis looks.

[traveltips41]

Masturbate and Feel Good

Masturbate and Feel Good

best masturbator "Masturbation... is not really approved of the particular Lord not this cathedral, regardless of what may be said by those whose 'norms' are lower", President Kimball of the Church regarding Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (1981) "Every sperm is actually sacred. Each and every sperm is extremely good. If some sort of sperm is wasted, The almighty gets quite irate. inch Monty Python's This is regarding Life. A offer generally used by various churches in an effort to help contain illicit works amongst its people. Every rollo on masturbation would price it, at least the many sermons I have been told. Under the circumstances, is that difficult to imagine masturbation as one of the biggest taboos in the society? Even today? Research education has done some sort of little to alter it. Really does that mean people avoid masturbate? Certainly not. 00% of men and 70% of girls masturbate according for you to various experiments. The problem lies in the approval of the fact this you masturbate. Let me tell you any story... a story about you. A single night a person were sitting solely in your apartment eating pizza. You decided to look at out several new sites on the net when you eat. So you record on to your ISP and start surfing. Inadvertently, you discover some piece of pornography(yes, online is quite entire of it! ) Hunting at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingling regarding the legs. One issue leads to a different and also you end up spoiling your underpants. Now let me tell you a different story. male masturbator One night you had been sitting alone in some sort of nightclub drinking beer. Along with then some sort of most wonderful person makes its way into the pub. The person that will cause tingley between your hip and legs just taking a look at him or maybe her. You decide in which you can't let go of this particular opportunity to get in order to know fantastic creation involving god. So you move in direction of this person and start small talk. One thing leads to another and you finish up in your current house. Whether you are some sort of woman or possibly a man, typically the next morning a person probably would not be jumping with delight in the first circumstance. When you go available in the evening for you to meet your friends, an individual would not really tell these about the hot web site you found and exactly how you actually jerked off for you to it. Even so, in typically the second case, it would be eaiest revealing anyone who cared for you to listen how you had one of the most wonderful experience connected with your life yesterday. The reason why? Well, maybe due to the fact self applied pleasure is, nicely, absolutely nothing special. You can perform the item anytime you need. Of course influencing the particular person of your aspirations is very an accomplishment. No wonder you need an audience. But what if you have any friend like me. A buddy who is crazy sufficient might you did an individual wank off yesterday nighttime? Had been it good? Just what do you do then? Would likely you inform your friend with regards to the hot web site in addition to your experience? Would you just say, "Yeah! This was great! What regarding you? " Or even might you pretend nothing got happened and lie... something similar to you were somewhere else yesterday nighttime, or might be lead your good friend to be able to believe you got lucky together with someone? I was guessing you would probably do often the latter. Most certainly you won't acknowledge the act associated with masturbation. Rather you will evade the question as well as alter the topic. And while your buddy tells you about a hot cure the same night, an individual would want a dish of water in which you may drown. Shame and also guilt would come over you actually and you would adjust the theme in two times quick time period. Are you crazy? Noway! You are just one of the the vast majority. And an amazing majority in that! Way more the vast majority that what George Rose bush had in the final elections! The reason -social health! You are identical to the youngster who ran outside the movie theater hall that was screening an adult film (mind you, he had absolutely no business that they are there in the first place! However the many cinemas care with regards to is the purchase regarding their tickets! ) Afterwards in the day, typically the close friend who had been recently at the movies together with him, caught up together with the pup and asked, "Why in the hell's name do you run out? micron The boy answered, "My mom declared if We watched a woman obtaining naked I would change to gemstone. And darn you Harry, a portion of me was already evolving into stone! " Unfortunately, the social conditioning is wrong. It is seeing that wrong for the reason that social condition in 18-19th one hundred year The indian subcontinent, where widows had been pushed to burn living together with their husbands. As wrong as the church has been in getting rid of Galileo regarding implying everything was certainly not the centre with the market. Lily Tomlin put it very best, "We have great believe that man first strolled upright to free his / her hands for masturbation! inches If god didn't wish us to masturbate, possibly we would still become walking such as dogs as well as horses! The social health is a result regarding a number of myths, lies in addition to hoaxes perpetrated by a number of individuals intended for personal profit. Unfortunately, this kind of conditioning is definitely like a hard enthusiast, very tough to split. However, with effort in addition to chanelising your energies, you are able to break it. Remember, typically the nuts that crack the toughest, are often the ones that taste the top! You actually must be wondering, how the hell does it make a difference if you are guilty about fleshlight. Why wouldn't you spend time bursting this casing? Certain research psychologists believe that shame cognizant, whether sexual guilt as well as in any other form, is the most damaging element for the mental wellness. Others believe it is one of the most destructive. Nevertheless the greatest effect involving guilt conscious in my experience offers been a lack regarding confidence throughout self. Now you are an sensible reader. I don't have to have to make clear you often the importance of self self-confidence. Whether it is your career, romantic relationships or any additional aspect of life, lack regarding confidence can bring your personal downfall. Now I am definitely not implying which will you get started to feel more comfortable with regards to masturbation, you would certainly succeed in all of elements of life. But the idea will be a nice step to help take. A useless sense of guilt that should, and will be eliminated from your mind. Remember, an ocean is manufactured of small droplets of water. Get rid of a decline at a time and in due time, the ocean would be empty! Associated with course it will take many millennia! The good news is, you avoid have an ocean rich in guily! Just some naggings every now and then! The first action towards eradication of the guilt is knowledge. You will discover hundreds and hundreds of myths around masturbation. Most of them perpetrated by certitude, unfortunately. But some perpetrated simply by hoax runners. Lets look into typically the most important ones. 1. Masturbation is against typically the will associated with god. Hoke. At just one point the church regarded as anyone who else was overtly excited to help his wife the adultrater. Follow that training in addition to your wife would end up being doing adultery! Several clergymen have hot on record in order to say in which not merely the church's coaching regarding sexuality were unconnected for you to the scriptures, but they caused more harm as compared to good amongst people. Furthermore, nowhere in the spiritual theories of any important made use of is masturbation considered incorrect. 2. Masturbation will probably cause erectile dysfunction. Most adult males and even several ladies seem to think and so. Wrong again. Lets take on the males first. It is understandable that seeing their own sperm flow out of their body, they think this may end at some point. Properly, it will end eventually... maybe when you usually are 100 years old. Although until then don't be anxious. Your sperm bank is very unlike Standard Chartered. You might have unlimited credit here! Orgasm is a completely alternative learning resource, renewable on a hourly basis! For girls, well, there is absolutely no time frame in the idea. Probably perpetrated by previous ladies who also never acquired an ejaculation in their particular entire life! three. Masturbation causes acne, thinning hair, pores and skin diseases. This one is definitely my favorite. Mainly since it is on the list of far better scams of all times! Your own social conditioning might have you think that masturbation is not particularly healthy. But bad how? Nobody would provide you a satisfying answer! Now some scam musicians saw this as the very good opportunity to will sell their products including locks growth lotions, etc. Given that most people start masturbating in their teens, (the occasions of zits and some other skin problems), they might get you believe that this specific is a result of masturbation! Unfortunately for them, this is while untrue as the sun rising from the western world! Fleshlight has no bodily side effects! four. Masturbating will make you skinny and skinny! Then there would be no need for diet program pills and health and fitness routines my friend! And many definitely 70% of STATES would not be overweight! your five. Just Kids masturbate! Exactly why will you say that? I wonder! Effectively quite untrue, most people masturbate... you got it even after relationship! six. Masturbation is for adult men. And it is for 70% on the women also. That's right, 2/3 involving all females masturbate! 8. Only losers masturbate! A different of my favorites. Merely goes to show simply how much of any taboo is masturbation! Very first thing, 00% of males and also 70% of females get masturbated at least once within their existence. Now in which is a hell of the lot of losers don't you think! Nothing considerably more that I can also add truly... this is really often the quintessential insecurity amongst men and women relating to self pleasure. 7. Masturbation is for homosexuals. Wow. Where did that will one originate! Someone need to make a etymology of those myths, would make with regard to an interesting read! Merely as untrue as all of these myths, masturbation and also homosexuality have nothing in accordance. Some people masturbate to their fantasies of other sex, other individuals to their own fantasies of same love-making. That's it. in search of. Masturbation will make you blind! Others claim that masturbation is actually bad for your own personal eyesight. But their says are unsupported by facts and medical advice. My partner and i suggest you talk to your common physician in addition to he will clarify anyone what a load connected with bull this is. 15. Masturbation changes the appearance of your male organ Nicely, it does make this rock solid. But believe myself, as soon as you orgasm, the solidity fully gone! So no. Fleshlight provides absolutely no effect on how your penis seems.