#technically he had it sort of treated in saw 3 but idk if you can really call that treating it. it just minimized his pain. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eroticcannibal · 2 years

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Hey Risu I think ud have some sound advice about this... I want to learn to draw n be an artist (digitally) but my brain screams when I try cos I'm new n not good at all and idk how to counteract the brain so I can draw shitty things until I get good.... It's hard to have fun when my brain is saying I'm shit and should quit :( Any advice? (I love ur art on ur art blog BTW... Ur art is good but like, not what I'm used to seeing and it's kinda nice to see how a hobby artist art looks cos I'm so used to more professional artists who take comms on twitter)

I was thinking of doing some of my shitty art to song lyrics (they're some of my fav, I draw my ocs in some sort of pose and then slap the lyrics on top in fancy font text or write it on my drawing tablet by hand) - and just don't care how bad it looks but I'm unsure if I can get my brain to not scream at me for not being enough long enough to do it :(

Any advice would be nice <3 p.s. My art is so bad it's like a kid trying to draw (derogatory but only at me) n I don't really have anyone in my life for support cos if it's not good they don't care :/// (well I have one friend, he's also a hobbyist as well, rarely draws cos he has the same issue of not being good and perfect type deal)

Oh hey its how I feel about my art 24/7 (and how most artists do!) So I will run u through all the things I find helpful

Listen. Brains are little bitches, ok? They LIE. They are MEAN. You need to practice telling ur brain to shut up. Like "hey, thats not fucking nice, I'm not listening to u until u have something helpful to say!" And its hard, cus its you, but with practice it gets easier to ignore ur brain being on one. Treat it like a toddler who is kicking off and calling u mean names cus u won't give it chocolate. "Thats nice dear im busy with my art". Like u gotta remember, for anyone trying to get started with art, it looks like a kid trying to draw because that's when most people stopped drawing. Same with any other skill u stop in childhood. My kid struggled so much with handwriting due to being ND that it switched to typing and guess what? Still has the handwriting u would expect from a small child. Because it stopped writing as a small child. I have the coordination with running and throwing of a young kid cus thats when I stopped doing sports. People who stop reading books young will find it harder to read books for an older audience. U do those kiddy drawings, do lots of them, you WILL get better.

Another thing. Heres a secret. For every artist, the majority of what they produce is shit. No really, all of them. Not just the crap you have to produce to git gud, but like, every amazing piece of art you have seen has like at least 5 fucked up sketches that got scrapped. Whole bits of painting that got covered up. All art is made up of mistakes and fuck ups. And even if u are sat there going wow this is perfect! The artist is DYING because they can see a hundred little mistakes that u cant. Art is all about perspective and honestly the perspective of the artist is the worst one. We are too familiar with the details to see our art for what it really is.

The thing that helped me most tho was when I went to art museums in Paris. I saw so much "good" art and im like. OK. This is technically good I guess? But it was kinda meh. The museum of modern art was the most disappointing cus, and listen I stan modern art ok there was some good shit in there, but there was a fucking rack of skis. Someone gone bought some skis and put them away and thats art. Hello? Oh someone painted some squares and came up with some deep meaning and im meant to be impressed. And then I go outside for a fag and I open tumblr and see some crappy 2 minute MSpaint vent art and u know what? It made me fucking feel. It make me feel like NOTHING in that museum had. Who is fucking deciding what "good" art is? I dont remember being consulted! I dont think I fucking agree that "good" art is good! I think shit art is good! Some fucking ship art scribbles has more meaning for me than the fucking mona Lisa, yknow?

And then I went to an exhibit of Picasso's sketches and doodles. Napkins with little scribbles on and shit. And they were so normal. Nothing impressive. And it was wonderful. I've done better sketches! I promise u u have done better than some of that stuff. Honestly so many artists aren't even "better", they're just successful. And idk but I think success is a poor way to measure arts worth.

There is a genuine magic to a hobby artist just. Doodling what makes them happy. Not for money, not for fame, not for skill, just because they want to. Art for arts sake, yknow?

Also I understand it can be very hard to share ur work but I would encourage u to do so with ppl u trust to give u fair feedback. Feel free to send me what u make I will be more than happy to tell u how great it is

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leviiattacks · 3 years

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hi hi hi i really really really loved your jealous headcanon of levi and your teacher levi!!! i was wondering if i could maybe request something where you kinda mix the two(?) so like theres this event going on in school and the reader is very occupied and busy because shes paying attention to her students and then maybe she talks to some teachers about the event and then levi is just there secretly sulking cause he wants her attention too?? or idk you do you because your works are always soooooooo good thank you<3333

author note :: i did not stick to the prompt which was honestly an accident?/£/):7 but there is jealous levi and reader so i hope it workssss, it’s not that great and isn’t edited...but i hope you enjoy it :-( also thank you for the request you were very kind <3

for this to make more sense you’ll probably have to read my first ever teacher levi post which you can find here !!!!!

requests are always open :-)

word count :: 4.3k ???? longer than i expected ????

levi groans at the mention of sports day before turning to look at you dead in the eyes

he knows this is your doing, you’ve always been big on getting the children into sport and other extracurriculars

now see, he has no actual issue with sports day?? he’s pretty fit if he says so himself!!!

it’s just that he frankly does not have the effort to participate.

another part of him also feels frustrated seeing mike flock around you like an annoying bee

he’s asking all sorts of questions

“are we doing the three legged race again this year?”

“how about javelin?”

“HAHA...mike...”

levi takes one look at you and knows you’re trying to let him down softly, it is his favourite event after all.

“since last year’s fiasco and the way you nearly hit one of the sixth graders i think not.” you awkwardly chuckle patting his shoulder as if it’s any consolation

mike loves sports day, he’s competitive in all of the teacher only events and last year he even tripped you and levi up ON PURPOSE might you add

either way he still lost the teacher’s three legged race last year and ever since he’s been out to gain his title back.

levi remembers, he’s unsure if you do but he remembers vividly having to carry you on his back because you had sprained your ankle pretty badly after your collision with mike.

back then you and levi were still in the middle of your little math vs english debate meaning the whole walk to the infirmary was filled with bickering.

and when levi had placed you onto one of the beds you insisted you could treat yourself when you really couldn’t

the way that scenario ended had been with levi forcing you to place your foot onto his knee as he iced and tended to it

this year levi is not having any repeats of that. yes, he quite liked having some alone time with you, in fact it was one of the first times he stopped to wonder if he liked you.

BUT!!!! having you limp around the corridors wasn’t the best either and you were highly irritable until you were fully healed

“why don’t you actually try this year?” hange stifles a laugh, they’re stood to levi’s left and upon hearing their voice his shoulders sag. he knows he’s in for one hell of an earful

“i do try–”

“yeah whatever. anyway, you want a cupcake?” hange’s gesturing to the haphazardly iced buns in the four plastic containers in their hands

“these are for the bake sale!!” they add in enthusiastically.

levi’s about to shake his head, he’s already donated to the bake sale’s charity fund without paying for any of the baked goods. yes it is purely because he doesn’t trust hange to feed him anything edible

“they’re y/n’s batch :-)” hange’s wickedly grinning knowing they’ve hit their colleagues weakness

without another thought levi’s right hand dives into one of his pockets, fishing his wallet out. he places a few spare coins into hange’s palm

“wOAH, you’re pretty eager aren’t ya??”

their remark flies over levi’s head as he tries to pick out two of the most presentable cupcakes

“you’re so fond of y/n, why not try a little harder like i said?” hange’s thrown the bait in the river and levi completely falls for it. he turns ninety degrees completely forgetting about the cupcakes.

“i’m talking about sport’s day if it isn’t obvious.”

he faces hange directly. he scowls twisted in fake disgust and confusion all at once

“and why would i care about that?” he shoots back

“after walking in on the both of you touching each other up in the janitor’s closet i’m really surprised you’re — mMMPH—” levi’s shoved one of the cupcakes into hange’s mouth

“you’re gonna have to pay for that–”

levi smacks some more money into their palm to appease the issue

“when did you see that and have you told anyone else?” he’s seething right now, there’s no way he or you were unable to notice someone as loud as hange prance into the storage cupboard accidentally

“i haven’t told anyone but it has only been three days since i saw so who knowsss...”

“i’ll do anything for you to keep your mouth shut.” levi’s practically begging at this point

“i think you should buy a whole box of cupcakes as compensation. my eyes will never be the same again.”

levi hands over more than enough money, he’s probably handed over enough for two boxes just for extra measure

it’s not that he’s embarrassed of you or anything no, no, not at all. he just, this sounds so stupid but he isn’t sure what the two of you are????

you’ve kissed, A LOT but the only problem is that there’s never actually been confirmation of... something more? than that?

he’s simply horrible at asking, and seeing the way you’re talking to mike it’s almost getting to the stage of borderline flirting

he’s currently flexing one of his muscles and levi’s unsure if you’re actually gawking at them or feigning interest so mike can get bored and leave sooner

his bets are on you pretending for the sake of mike leaving until you reach out to squeeze his arm appreciatively

...

what is this feeling??

insecurity?? a low self esteem??? levi isn’t entirely sure what the emotion that surges through him at that moment is

but hange sure does, grinning at the scene playing out they shove moblit with their elbow

well, well, well levi getting jealous is certainly something new.

when levi knocks on the door of your classroom you assume he’s come to bother you and ask for the spreadsheet with grade averages and all that technical stuff

english and math grades need to be compared side by side and even though it’s your job to help with the data analysis you’re pretty bad at it so levi’s the one who USUALLY picks up the pieces and does it for the two of you

occasionally mike steps in and helps when levi’s got other stuff in the way

“oh levi!! mike told me he’d be doing this month’s spreadsheet?” you’ve poked your head out of the door to talk to him

levi’s eyes narrow at that because he hasn’t asked mike for help at all.

“i didn’t come here for the spreadsheet but i haven’t even told mike to assist me this month... i wonder why he’s so passionate.” he mumbles the last part under his breath

opening the door up you wave for him to come inside “what you here for then?” you ask, oOoh maybe he’s finished reading an inspector calls?? finally you can talk to someone about the twist at the end

“i’m taking part in sports day properly.” the statement is unexpected and ?? levi ?? take anything other than math seriously ??

“woah... i’m proud of you?? i’m glad you’re seeing it’s important to show the children physical activity is fun.” your smile brightens up the entire room and he begins to feel a little more confident

peering up at him your curiosity doesn’t go unnoticed and he clears his throat, he knows you’re expecting him to say something else

ok, ok, ok. he thinks he’s built enough courage up to ask you

“i’ve never got the chance to ask but would you like to go on a date?” on reflex levi screws his eyes shut, suddenly he’s convinced you’ll say no and reject him. why would you accept??

“sure!”

his eyes flutter open and he feels you grip at the sleeve of his shirt.

well? that went better than he expected?

“where do you want to go?” you ask

“doesn’t matter, but let’s go somewhere after sports day finishes up.”

“are you barely going to try like last year?” you’re munching away at a granola bar - it’s rather bland and makes your throat feel kinda scratchy

you’re midway through drinking some water to deal with the dryness but you nearly spit it out when levi responds

“no. i plan on winning every single teacher event.”

HE WANTS TO??? beat???? everyone???

“you’re planning on beating mike too?” you tilt your head to the side incredulously

levi purses his lips at the mention of his name

“why does that sound so absurd to you?”

“he’s um, very good at sport that’s all.”

“i am too.” levi’s adamant to prove his point to you

“fine, here’s a deal. win at least one teacher event and i’ll try and solve one of your funny math problems or whatever.”

“what kind of deal is that??”

“you’ll be able to see me struggle with numbers, for free!!”

“no. i have something better in mind.” levi bites his smile back, he can’t let you know the idea makes him feel

“and that would be?”

he takes a step forward decreasing the space between the two of you.

“how about you kiss me in front of everyone?”

your mouth falls open because oh wow....? you have no actual problem with the task you’re simply surprised that levi is willing to put the both of you out there like that. the spectacle is bound to raise some eyebrows

“deal?” he holds his hand out for you to shake

you nod your head. “it’s a pleasure doing business with you.”

and so your deal is sealed with a firm handshake.

the big day has ARRIVED!!!

all of the students are flooding in through the gates. some carry footballs, other basketballs. you’ve been here for less than ten minutes and had to save a ball from crashing right into an expensive window.

everyone’s wearing active gear, udo walks in with a ski mask on?? which is peculiar but it’s humorous so you don’t tell him off for it

you’ve chosen a comfortable olive green tracksuit, you don’t think you’re in the mood for ski masks like udo is

coincidentally levi happens to show up in the EXACT same type of tracksuit?? everything’s the same to the colour. you both stare at each other for a moment trying to figure out how exactly you managed that but give up, you guess you have similar tastes

the accidental coordinated outfits have a few of your students pointing and chuckling together

gabi and falco are laughing heartily and whispering god knows what about the two of you

“three legged race partner?” levi asks as he fills up some water bottles for the water stand

“oh? mike asked me to be his partner.”

levi doesn’t make it obvious that he’s jealous about it because what adult would be jealous over a three legged race??

but even if you can’t tell levi is pissed mike sure can

he’s walking past the two of you, hands shoved into his pockets when he spots you a few meters away. his eyes sparkle when he sees you. it’s at that moment he senses the dark piercing glare coming from your right.

you’ve yet to notice mike but levi’s seen him approaching from a mile away and he isn’t particularly happy about it.

the good thing about mike is that he knows not to mess with levi.

the two have known each other for years and by now mike knows messing with levi is a death wish in itself.

so when the poor physical ed teacher notices the way levi glowers at him he calls out your name to get your attention - he’s much too afraid to get anywhere near you

“Y/N!!”

whipping your head around you wave at your race partner, why does it look like he’s seen a ghost?? you shove that thought to the back of your mind, he’s probably just tired

“petra doesn’t have a partner and uhh... i think levi’s free. could you work with him instead?”

levi turns away to smile to himself. ah how the tables have turned!!!

“but i want to work with you? it’s always y/n and levi do this. y/n and levi do that!! i wanna try with someone else.”

what you’ve said is a lie. honestly you’d just like to see levi get worked up again

but levi doesn’t get the memo at all. it flies over his head and he huffs thinking if that’s what you want he doesn’t mind. he’ll just show you how he feels.

“it’s okay. i’ll go with petra.” levi nonchalantly salutes at both you and mike as he walks backwards before turning around to locate the ginger in question

WHY DID HE GIVE IN SO EASILY???? YOU WERE JOKING?????

with your mouth open wide mike looks at you once and puts the pieces together

“guessing you wanted him to stick around?” you suddenly hear and god, you feel kinda bad

“oh no!!! i would love to be your partner.” looping your arm with his you smile up at him

whether or not mike believes you isn’t clear but he does return your smile.

there’s a few minutes till the three legged race starts, everyone’s running around. erwin’s knelt down to tie yours and mike’s legs together

as he’s doing so you can’t help but hear a high pitched windshieldy giggle leave petra and you visibly seem annoyed. that’s if your arms crossed over your chest and clenched jaw are anything to go by

levi hasn’t even said anything notably funny ???? what is she laughing at ????

he’s quite literally just standing there making awkward small talk with her

it goes something like this

“have you marked your exams yet?”

levi doesn��t realise she’s said anything till she taps his shoulder and he asks for her to repeat her question

“oh.” he thinks for a while. “no not yet. i’ve got better shit to do. i don’t see them till next week either way.”

and then she just starts laughing so hard that she has to hold her knees and when that isn’t enough she holds onto a nearby pole for support

you see where this is going

when her breathing gets even more uneven she reaches out to grab levi’s upper arm

YUP. you knew it. you can’t be mad at her really. no one knows you and levi are sort of a thing.

a thing? is that the term? well, whatever late night calls discussing books and a few heated kisses in private mean that’s what you are

levi stares at the hold she has on his arm and you expect him to shrug her off. instead he sees you look, smirks a little and waves all the while letting her hand stay there

and the icing on the cake is petra waving at you too and her eyes are much more expressive than she thinks they are

she’s internally laughing at you for sure.

ok, not a big deal, NOT a big deal!!!

this is just him getting back at you for before.

flipping your head back your sad expression probably catches mike’s attention because he seems to cave in

“want to make him jealous back?”

his suggestion is interesting but you catch yourself second guessing

“he’s doing that because he’s jealous.” you mumble shaking your leg to test the strength of erwin’s knot

“and? don’t let him win.” he glances at his shoulder gesturing for you to make the next move

nodding your head vigorously you throw your arm over mike’s shoulder but find he’s too tall to make that work so instead you settle on holding him by the side

it takes you a little to adjust to the close proximity but in the time it takes you to do that mike informs you of levi glaring at the two of you

“mind if i hold onto you here? we can coordinate our moves faster!!!” petra doesn’t even wait for levi to agree to what she says. she just flings one of her arms around his torso

again, he lets her just as last time.

this game of cat and mouse is getting tiring, maybe you should have kept your mouth shut when mike approached you.

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

your senses snap back to where you are. your grip on mike’s torso firms and he turns to nod at you.

you nod back.

you’ll win this.

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!”

okay, SO.

something in your game plan must have gone wrong but mike’s strength is something you’ve clearly underestimated. his first step is so powerful you don’t even have the time to start moving

you assume that’s how you collapse to the ground behind him and scrape your hands onto the cement of the track

so much for winning. all you’re doing is bleeding and hissing trying to cope with the stinging sensation

“mike?!?? not again??” hange groans and jogs over to the two of you untying the ropes at your legs.

“do we have to ban you from another event??? you’re too reckless sometimes.” hange smacks his chest and then hurriedly whispers “levi’s coming this way if you value your life you better bolt and use the first aid kit as an excuse.”

mike doesn’t even debate with himself, that’s his best bet at staying alive and so he dashes away as if he’s left the shower on at home for five hours unattended

some students are murmuring under their breaths and luckily for you the forever reliable gabi and falco have come to your rescue with bandages

“show me your hands.” levi’s hard voice interrupts all discussion. petra’s stood peering over his shoulder and you swear you catch her muffling a laugh

levi frowns. “you good?” he asks. you assume this answer will be the deciding factor regarding whether or not he makes this an issue with mike

“i’m great – trust me!! just a few scrapes.”

levi doesn’t look convinced but he let’s it go.

he helps you get up and takes the bandages from gabi thanking her.

“i’ll patch y/n up.” he tells hange pointedly and they agree. moblit at that moment happens to run over with a megaphone in hand.

“SHOWS OVER FOLKS!! WE’LL MOVE ON TO THE JUMP ROPE EVENT FOR NOW!!!”

“i’ll make him lose the one hundred meter sprint so badly he won’t know what hit him.” levi’s been grumbling the entire time he’s sat down to bandage your hands.

now that you’re both sat close to each other again murmurs of “matching tracksuits??” are back

“you don’t have to it was a mistake levi.”

levi shrugs eyes scanning his handiwork. “i want to. i’ve got to earn my kiss in front of a crowd anyway.”

gently letting go of your hand he looks out onto the track waiting to be called.

you’ve never seen levi give his full effort into sports day but even then you’re unsure if he’ll ever be able to beat mike.

honestly mike sure is fast and you recall one of the children referring to him with the nickname lightening bolt

and speak of the devil. a group of children walk past and are talking about the teacher’s race

“mr bolt’s gonna win for sure. you seen him run?? he could be an olympian!!!!” zofia’s gushing about him, she happens to be a big fan

the only nickname you’ve ever heard for levi is ursula – “ursula sure is evil for giving us that much work >:(” you had heard udo say once during class but after the earful he got from gabi he never used the name again, neither did anyone else

a few more minutes pass in a comfortable silence and levi’s called over to his lane. you’ve accepted the fact that there’s no changing his mind and he’s bound to compete now

“wait for me by the finish line.” he instructs and so you do. you go your separate paths. he to his lane (he’s in the lane two) and you to the finish line

petra’s already standing there waiting. her elbows are propped onto the railing peering out towards the contestants.

making your way to stand with her you see her sigh dreamily at levi in the distance

“hey, i know you don’t like levi a whole lot. you know your fued and all but do you think he’d say yes if i asked him out?”

well.

that sure is unexpected.

you fight the urge to scoff because you know you and levi are starting to drop more hints. is this her way of finding out the truth?

“me and levi don’t hate each other actually.”

“oh, well dislike.”

“we don’t dislike each other.”

“tolerate?” she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth trying to control her frustration

“petra. i like levi.” your confession knocks the wind out of her. you both silently exchange looks. she’s very clearly in disbelief.

the next time she speaks the previous playful lilt in her voice is long gone

“as soon as you noticed i liked him you just had to decide you liked him too. people like you make my skin crawl.”

?????????

why is she so bitter?.)/&£:

you can’t help liking levi and he likes you too,, so what now??

“he likes me back petra. can we be civil about this? i don’t like workplace drama. i had no idea you were into him.” you’re hoping that this will happen to shut her up but NO!!! it doesn’t she’s only more mouthy now

“prove it.” she points one of her manicured fingers into your chest and demands evidence she doesn’t even deserve to see

“what???”

“if he likes you back so much he should be able to show it.”

you know, if it were any day, any other time or any other person asking you this you would have out right refused, but given the circumstances and levi already waiting on you to kiss him in front of the entirety of the school you see no issue with having the last laugh in this argument

“fair enough.” you mutter and lean over to see hange announce the countdown

“ON YOUR MARKS.”

“GET SET.”

“AND GO!!!”

you swear you blink because GOD what on EARTH????? you don’t understand why previous to this levi balked at the thought of participating because he’s made it look so easy.

he’s not bolted he may as well have TELEPORTED to the finish line. mike is breaking out in a sweat far behind him and the boyish grin on levi’s face is enough to tell how he feels

gasps and applause can be heard from the children. zofia and udo are passionately arguing about some bet they’ve made - you make a mental note to tell them that making deals is fun as long as they don’t bet large amounts of money

levi’s jogging up to you completely ignoring petra’s presence

“told you i’d do it. i avenged you didn’t i?” you don’t think you’ve ever seen him smile so confidently in public

you acknowledge what he’s said with a cartoon like thumbs up and then you’re staring at him unable to locate your courage

oh fuck it

you lean in hurriedly and steal a peck from him. he blinks and then scowls much to petra’s amusement. she has to think he’s about to curse you out but unbeknownst to her she’s read the situation wrong

“is that your idea of a kiss??”

and then he takes matters into his own hands – no literally into his own hands. he cups your face in his palms and captures your lips with his own. as you reciprocate petra can be heard choking on her saliva.

“OH well who would’ve guessed the english and math department had an alliance????? not me???” next is hange, they’re feigning shock even though they’ve known what the two of you have been up to this entire time

the whispers have now become full on shouts

“i KNEW it they were dating?!?!”

“MAN??? I HAD A CRUSH ON MR ACKERMAN WHAT NOW???”

gabi and falco are audibly cheering, you’re quite sure they realised what was up long ago

“DON’T BE UPSET BUT I THINK THIS IS WAYYY BETTER THAN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!!!!” falco’s comment makes your heart rise in your chest

and you know what? you think so too.

as levi’s hand travels to the back of your neck pressing you further into him you come to the conclusion that maybe just maybe this is far better than pride and prejudice ever will be :-)

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droplet-dread-cat · 4 years

Text

Okay, so... idk why that came to my mind but I’ll roll with it.

Also there are surely some discrepancies in timelines and such but it’s an AU and I don’t really look for accuracy here

WifeSwap!AU

- The chief of the Southern Water Tribe is like “Oh shit, we have only like seven benders left. We can’t afford another attack of the Fire Nation” and he meets up with Fire Lord Azulon to propose a peace treaty. Only Azulon’s an asshat and he’s like “Peace and no further attacks on you? Well, you can have that, no problem, but for that we’ll need tokens. You can still have your benders but we will trade nonbending people between our two cultures... sort of a slave trade deal. You can do whatever you want with the people we send you and we can do whatever we want with those you send us. Oh! And of course, the Southern Water Tribe will raise our flag additionally to yours and, before I forget it, you’re obligated to send us Water Tribe specialities as our nobility finds them quite... interesting.”

And the chief is overwhelmed and can’t quite understand why the slave trade thing has to happen (it’s because Azulon’s eager to see if he can manipulate the genetics into his favours so that they’ll end up building a waterbending force additionally to a firebending one (which they can use as healers if they have that gift), firebenders born into the Southern Water Tribe also are sort of lifetime test subjects who show whether they can remain in such conditions or not (also if they can be trained to withstand the cold and become better benders that way) and most of his war council consists of those creepy old men who are weirdly obsessed with “exotic” features) but he has no other choice but to agree because he knows another (last) attack is on the horizon. It’s better to essentially become a Fire Nation colony than to lose all of their benders for good, he thinks.

- Fast forward a couple of years. Azulon has managed to gain forty waterbenders by mostly trading men from the Water Tribe for women from the Fire Nation. As you know men can um... make a lot more children in a short period of time than women. The Southerners aren’t really treated as people and more as concubines while the Fire Nation people in the south are treated as equals (and become enamoured with the culture - because they’ve always known only the strictness of the Fire Nation.) and they bring equality for men and women because now there are more women than men => leads to a fighting force consisting of men and women.

- One day Ozai really pisses off his father. It’s a minor thing, really, but it leads to his fiancé getting shipped off to the Southern Water Tribe and he gets the most fierce nonbending warrior woman of the Water Tribe as his wife instead - Kya. She is straight up able to make him eat dirt and refuses to be treated as a slave. Hakoda gets Ursa - this meek, shy girl who refuses to raise her voice or look him in the eyes. There’s a whole subplot for Hakoda and Ursa slowly getting together while Kya dominates the shit out of Ozai because she wants kids and has no hope of ever returning to Hakoda (her true love). She sort of takes over the Fire Nation after Azulon’s... unfortunate death.

=> Kya and Ozai’s children are Zuko and Katara while Ursa and Hakoda’s are Sokka and Azula (who Ursa names after the man who essentially set her free)

- just. think. of. the. implications.

- Zuko is allowed to be a soft boi and because Kya all but overtakes the government, there’s never an Agni Kai between Ozai and Zuko. Also Ozai’s forced to love his children. Kya won’t take a no.

- Kya loves her two children equally. She doesn’t mind that Zuko’s a firebender. It’s just the way things are.

- When Ozai foolishly asks his father if he can have the throne after Prince Lu Ten’s death and Azulon asks for Zuko to die Kya fucking explodes and stealthily poisons the Fire Lord but with such a slow acting poison that nobody can trace it. => Ozai’s like “DAmn wife, poisoning my dad?? Kinda hot ngl...”

- So, like, Ozai’s more and more showing his human side because Kya just yeets the throne out of his hand (”No, someone unstable like you is not going to reign a freaking country, what the hell? Gimme those documents, husband.”) and after being manhandled into caring for his kids he has those little moments in which he shows that he can, in fact, love but it’s burrowed under layers upon layers of jealousy, hatred, anger and manipulative demeanour. Kya’s not one to turn down a challenge, though.

=> so. many. trips. to. ember island.

- Katara’s a fierce thing. She loves her brother, feels conflicted on her country and gives like a speech a day to the personnel who cowered under Azulon. Her waterbending is treated as something desirable by Ozai who, in turn, makes sure she gets teachers but he’ll also imitate Iroh (only this once, of course, and he’d never say he saw a merit in an idea his brother of all people had) by also teaching her firebending forms. Katara’s so dangerous but she’s still herself. In this AU, her healing abilities come when Zuko falls from a roof and breaks his leg.

- Ursa and Hakoda take things slowly. Initially, there’s a major heartbreak on Hakoda’s side, of course, because he really loved Kya wholeheartedly but slowly (and I’m talking real slow - like slow burn times 3) he starts warming up to Ursa who doesn’t know how to act in this new society she’s been thrown into. Hakoda shows her how to fight... ugh, that’s so cute I CAN’T and then she someday is gifted a bethrotal necklace but it’s dark red and omg utreghuigheguhenffberfievbhue

- Sokka and Azula are siblings. This is interesting on different levels because for one, Sokka’s a nonbender. Meaning that he only can impress with his boomerang and intelligence while his little sister’s a goddamn firebending prodigy who can?? Shoot lightning??? Wtf???

- Hakoda is Best Dad and instantly sees Azula’s unhealthy desire of perfectionism early on and sends her to the tribe’s psychiatrist. She still has anger outbursts but she is a lot more stable than in canon. Also, she’s obsessed with Sokka learning new fighting styles. She won’t stop arguing about the merits of him learning the sword or him learning the bow or him learning the art of chi blocking or him learning... basically, it’s Azula’s form of care but it annoys Sokka to no end (even though he loves his little sister too, obviously).

- There is not an ounce of sexism in Sokka because... um... have you seen his sister?!

- So, one day, there’s a letter from the Fire Nation. To Hakoda. Saying “Hey, what’s up, my old fiancé? I took over the Fire Nation - how about we meet up some time for a renewed peace treaty and to show off our kids?” And Hakoda’s like “Omg, Kya. What the hell?” but he grins the whole time and is so glad that his almost-wife is thriving. He wouldn’t have thought she’d give in easily but to hear the good news lifts a rock off his heart. Ursa’s a little bit hesitant but Hakoda tells her that she’s his wife now and a meeting between the two couples won’t change that.

- They all meet up when Sokka & Zuko are 14 and Katara & Azula 12-ish; surprisingly, it goes super well? Oh, well... apart from the fact that Katara and Azula begin arguing like crazy when they’re on Southern Water Tribe territory and accidentally free the Avatar.

- So now they have the Avatar.

- But Aang’s kinda not needed all that much because Ozai sure as hell won’t do anything to capture him - not when Kya’s been stopping a war that he slowly begins to see was totally f-ed up

- Aang grows up with Katara, Sokka, Zuko and Azula at his side. They then later on stumble upon a lemur, a Kyoshi warrior and Toph during one of their trips (which they can do only when they’re at least 14 because Kya isn’t going to let her kids roam around when they barely hit puberty yet.)

- Sozin’s Comet comes and goes. Ozai guesses he could have technically taken out the Earth Kingdom but who the hell does that kinda stuff? He’s not a villain in some theatrical play or something.

- The war ends for sure when Ozai finally gives in and signs the peace treaty between the different remaining nations (and Aang as the last airbender). It’s not like everything’s alright now that they’re not attacking but it’s a lot better than before.

#atla au #atla #avatar #avatar the legend of aang #avatar the last airbender #zuko #sokka #azula #katara #kya #hakoda #chief hakoda #water tribe #fire nation #ozai #atla ozai #fire lord azulon #azulon #fire lord ozai

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miraculouscontent · 4 years

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Ask Explosion #9:

Asks answering previous posts:

Sabrina, I have one word of advice for you...

R U N

“Chat, please stop talking.”

“But that’s my thing!”

“YOU JINX EVERYTHING!!”

Ayyyyyy~

Well, it’s something, I suppose?

Answered this here.

It absolutely did. Bless you, kind and hilarious citizien. ;P

I’m torn because... on one hand, I want to give proper mythology and such for like--anything that’d be put into the show, but on the other, I liked the idea that Alix’s brother was just sort of a conspiracy who thought of stupid stuff (which is why I kept the concept for MC Jalil Kubdel).

Zoe did it really well in Scarlet Lady where Alix knew the actual mythology and started blurting it out whenever Jalil got it wrong.

New Asks:

Considering “Ikari Gozen,” I imagine Alya and Kagami don’t get along as well. I agree with basically everyone that Marinette and Kagami not getting along is bad, but Alya and Kagami not really getting along makes more sense and is more tolerable.

Since Alya is Marinette’s “““BFF”““ (supposedly), I could see her kind of being like, “You’re competing with my girl over the same guy,” and keeping Kagami at arm’s length, worried that keeping Kagami close will allow Kagami to be closer to Adrien since Adrien is an extension of their friend group (kinda, sorta, not really, but Marinette calling him a friend so technically--)

You know, Alya trying to be a good friend and help Marinette with Adrien in more subtle ways. It’s the wrong way to go about it but she’s trying.

LUKANETTE IS AMAZING IN TERMS OF PROGRESSION KDJNGJDFG, I ADORE IT. Every episode they share together, we either learn something new about them or see more details on their relationship.

I think I was already all-in before “Silencer,” but man, that episode just sealed it even more. I was like well dang, why does the love square even EXIST???

jfdngjkfdjgfdg

Incredible. Only problem is that the creator doesn’t know how to use it properly.

You mean fourteen year olds aren’t perfect human beings???? :o

(no, but really, that’s me all the time; like, she’s barely a teen!)

He’ll believe it if it’s Chat Noir who’s doing it. If Marinette ever does it though, he’ll be sure to shut it down. ;P

Ugggggh, the worst part is that I have the same exact fear that they really are going to be like yeah Ladybug you silly fool Chat Noir has been with you since the beginning!

I mean, we’re already basically getting that with the New York special; Chat was supposed to protect Paris and then didn’t tell Ladybug that he “had to” leave for New York (and the New York thing is inadvertently Marinette’s fault and parts of the fandom actually did blame her for it even though it was Chat’s choice not to say anything), then Ladybug gets upset with him when she discovers it mid-battle, which leads to Chat being distracted and Cataclysming someone (another thing that Ladybug can be “inadvertently” blamed for), then Chat gives up his miraculous so Ladybug isn’t even allowed to be angry and cue the later line of “I can’t imagine being Ladybug without... him.”

So clearly that’s saying something. Adrien doesn’t get anything close to that level and Marinette is chewed out for not asking him to stay when Nino had already asked him too.

It’s like--Marinette chooses to go after Adrien and then gets either nothing in return, or humiliated by the narrative, and then in the New York special, she decides to do nothing and everything still goes wrong while Alya yells at her for it. The “damned if she does, damned if she don’t,” on display is stunning. The girl tries to confess and it’s like, “no, not allowed, but Chat is allowed to confess.”

I still don’t understand this logic of his overarching plot but also “there’s not much of a timeline.” I think the only solid thing we’ve ever gotten was something about all the episodes in one season coming after all the episodes in a previous one, but there are still things that don’t add up? The only thing the season 3 production order will give is making sure the hero debuts work out (so no Viperion or Pegase before “Party Crasher,” for example).

It’s not really reliable. I mean, like--I’ve been experimenting with timelines for a while, and stuff like “Miraculer” baffles me. It’s basically non-canon with no value whatsoever. All it does is make “Heart Hunter” look even more confusing and treats Marinette even more horribly for not picking Chloe when she explicitly told Chloe that she wasn’t getting it back.

I’m not familiar with that one! Is it any good?

(Okay, I actually was too curious and ended up looking it up; fancy! I couldn’t have guessed that it was a webtoon! I started reading the 1st issue and before I knew it, I was on the 6th! Oops~)

Lila is totally Rashta, 100% agree. The fact that the comments have a nickname of “Trashta” for her, equivalent to Liar Rossi, says as much ;P

Because lessons that involve telling someone that they’re valid and allowed to feel a certain way don’t apply to Marinette. Isn’t it nice? :3

Not that I know of? Though I also don’t look for that kind of thing, so it’s possible that it exists and I just don’t know about it.

Even if it did exist thought, I don’t see a problem with you doing your own regardless. Good luck if you do!

No. No I do not. ;P

GREETINGS FELLOW INTJ!

And yeah, I’m not really capable of not analyzing shows. There are some small exceptions, but they’re usually not full shows in the normal sense. If there’s an ongoing plot, my mind tends to be working at all times.

In terms of Miraculous, Season 1 was harmless enough where I was bothered but pretty quiet about it, but then it just got progressively worse. It really feels like one of those things you can’t unsee when it finally hits you, y’know?

I’m glad I was able to help you get that satisfaction you need (and appreciate Lukanette, of course ;3)!

Non-Miraculous Asks:

(some heavy Puella Magi Madoka Magica salt below)

Wow, this is a really dedicated ask! Nice!

Gonna go point by point here:

1 - Yeah, the whole thing with Homura not “being able” to save everyone... kinda questionable, and I didn’t really buy the arguments they used to explain it away. I think there was this one PSP game or something with Madoka Magica where you could kind of choose what happened (like, there were bad ends where Sayaka didn’t get her soul gem back in time and her body was partially decayed; ick) and I think there’s a good end where Homura saves everyone but--yeah, not canon.

I just don’t care for twisted stories like that unless there is actually a good end on the horizon (and I mean like “Everyone Lives and is Happy” good end). Angst is just so exhausting so the second I saw Mami’s head being bitten I was just like, “Ah, okay, so we’re doing this then.”

2 - Eugh, the sexism thing. It’s so... yeah, and especially this because the whole “girls are emotional” thing, I don’t really care whether or not the show is trying to “subvert” or “explain” anything, it just feels like poor taste and I don’t like it. (I also didn’t know about that Death Note thing because I didn’t watch it, but geez.)

3 - Wow, I’ve been away from the show for so long that I forgot what Mami’s wish was; I thought it was to “not be alone” or something (or maybe not die alone?? I really don’t remember), but either way, the fact that it follows some sort of genie wish logic is just--*sigh*--they’re teenage girls, come on (plus, the “genie wish logic” is really overdone to me anyway).

4 - The other thing about Sayaka is that it’s really predictable that she’d “die so quickly.” Basically everything was pointing to her just being annihilated at some point, and being Madoka’s best friend, it was pretty inevitable that she’d go.

((semi-unrelated, but someone also asked me which character’s name was lied about before episode 3 hit and they wondered if it was Sayaka’s; it was Kyubey’s))

Yikes. Sorry you had to experience that.

Anyway, I guess I’m not experienced enough in multiple fandoms to say for sure? If I was ever in a fandom, I would just blacklist the people/stuff I didn’t like, so I didn’t get to see a tong of “bad things” going on.

+ I try really hard not to generalize fandoms into one thing.

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓝𝓸𝓻𝓶𝓼 𝓐𝓻𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓾𝓹𝓲𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓑𝓸𝔂𝓼 𝓐𝓻𝓮 𝓐𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓛𝓲𝓴𝓮 “𝓖𝓲𝓻𝓵𝔂” 𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼

Oof, uhhh, shows, huh? That’s tough.

I think the main ship from Given (Mafuyu and Ritsuka) is really adorable (you might’ve seen the amusing video of their love being mutual before), and while I would’ve said the same thing for the kinda-sorta side ship, it gets--uh... really bad during the movie/rest of the manga, I’ll just say that much.

Mafuyu and Ritsuka though, totally adorable.

Inuyasha kinda? Though Inuyasha and Kagome are definitely not the kind of romantic chemistry that I lean towards (I find “the bickering couple” to be rather exhausting). Plus, Cardcaptor Sakura did the “male tsundere” better than Inuyasha did (though the Clear Card Arc was terrible, at least it’s not canon kinda-sorta? idk it seems like a mix of the anime and manga so...).

After that there’s...

...

hm.

I mean, there’s probably a couple more examples somewhere, but--yeah, I’ve got nothing. Maybe if I thought back to all the generic children shows I watched when I was little (like those old Disney live-action shows; I had no taste when I was younger), there might’ve been something that satisfied kid me but idk.

I don’t remember what post inspired this, but I have no problem answering regardless, ahaha~

My main issue is Aang’s attitude about the whole thing. I’m not saying it was right of Katara to go out and get “revenge via murder” exactly, but I also think that Zuko had the right idea with allowing her to go and face the man who killed her mother so she could get some form of closure (also note that Zuko doesn’t express any sort of opinion when Katara decides not to kill him; he just wanted her to have whatever she thought she needed to heal).

It’s also the episode where Zuko directly confronts Aang on his “violence isn’t the answer” rhetoric which then goes completely ignored as Aang lionturtles his way out of the conflict. Aang is also not confronted on his point of “forgiveness is the first step to healing” (when Katara has a right not to forgive and Aang isn’t challenged outside of Katara commenting on it) and was permitted to ride his high horse when Katara “steals” Appa like, “It's okay, because I forgive you... that give you any ideas?” which is just--

reaaaaaally "holier than thou”-esque when Aang is like, ten, and Katara is a sort of motherly figure to him. The episode even has Sokka praise Aang for how “wise” he is and I groaned through the entire thing.

Another smaller thing is that it sort of makes the air kingdom look way too “perfect” by having Aang be the “source of wisedom,” especially when it’s like “violence isn’t the answer” while all the other airbenders are dead.

#((Guess who lost asks AGAIN.))#((Ugh I'm so annoyed this laptop is really giving up on me I swear.))#((I lost like fifteen.))#((Most of them were ones I was really looking forward to answering as well.))#((Basically needed an emergency restart while I was saving all of them.))#((Really sorry about that for the last fifteen or so asks I had.))#((I remember one from emikogale that involved the ideal ending of the show and that one was great.))#((and another about the fandom not really getting along that said particularly nice things but UGH.))#((If you sent me an ask recently and it's not here then it probably got washed out.))#((Because I don't recall just outright deleting anything because I didn't want to answer it.))#((I'll try to save a whole snapshot of my inbox beforehand so this won't happen again.))#((Seriously sorry.))#((Know that I saw it and likely approved of it but stuff happened and I acknowledge it's my bad.))#((Winter is just really out to get me isn't it? ugh))#character: Sabrina Raincomprix #character: Alya Cesaire #character: Marinette Dupain Cheng #character: Chat Noir #character: Sabine Cheng #category: staff #category: salt #other: non ml talk #other: ask and answer

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ones-delight · 3 years

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I unfortunately won’t have therapy until the end of this month (I should have scheduled one earlier this month ugh lmao I thought one later this month would be better) so I’m doing what my therapist suggested, write down all what’s going through my head even if it doesn’t make sense to help bring myself back to reality. lol. I’m very much lost in my own sauce of feelings and thoughts. it’s allllll about my ex again so ugh lmao. My main anxieties are just feelings about my ex and what’s coming up this semester.

I’m currently in my apartment in Iowa City since we’re about to start back up my usual routine. I’ve been here for almost two weeks now which is nice because I’ve been trying to take my time to relax and get myself mentally prepared for this upcoming semester. I’m also low key glad I’m having these overwhelming anxieties right now instead of later this week. I need to ask my therapist again what exactly I am feeling (if it’s like a panic attack because i truly dont know) because I’ve been feeling hella anxious the past few days (in general) and yesterday my anxiety was so intense that I barely ate and I felt sick to my stomach. idk if others have the same too but when I also get hella anxious, all I want to do is go to the bathroom so tmi lmao. I feel this way now and I just cannot stop crying so again, I’m just writing everything that’s going through my mind lmao.

#1) Related to my ex, heart break

Yeah.. I literally keep talking about this/him and I’m glad I have multiple outlets that I can say what’s going through my mind because if I keep these thoughts to myself, I keep spiraling. I’m also very thankful I have multiple strong support systems from people where it truly doesn’t get annoying to them when I keep talking about him/my overall heart break/healing journey. I know I don’t want to burden my friends with my own thoughts (it can be a lot) so overall very thankful for friends, family, and my therapist lmao.

I think the last time I talked about my heart break was the letter I wrote to him. I wrote it and sent it to him lmao. I also wrote his mom a letter in Spanish because I want to stay connected with her and very thankful she reciprocates the same energy, Apparently, he never received the letter even though I sent it over 3 weeks ago, but anyways yeah that’s a story I will tell later in this post. Anyways, it’s legit easier said than done to completely stop checking on his social media. I was doing great before winter break. Now that winter break has happened (still kind of is for a few more days), I have relapsed where I was checking very often. The break was great since I got to spend quality time with family, however, unfortunately being back in Wichita still floods a lot of my emotions where there are still a lot of memories of him and I that still makes me feel sad (luckily no longer sobbing about but I do still feel some type of way. It’s getting better thankfully). It also hurts that he’s making new memories with his new girlfriend Kylie so I was def feeling all sorts of things. Sorry, I’m trying to go onto chronologize order of events that have happened. I’m jumping back and forth lmao

First, did I mention his mom called me the day before Christmas? I was SHOOOOOK when I saw her name on my phone. I legit froze because I wasn’t sure if it was actually her so I accidently missed her call. I’m so glad she left a voicemail so I could listen first and immediately call her back LMAO. But basically, she wanted to check in to see how I was doing, wish me and my family a merry christmas/happy new year, and asked if I could come see her. We joked a bit back and forth like how she was learning English for me while I’m learning Spanish for her. lmao. so after this phone call, I wrote her a letter to update her on what I’ve been doing. I wrote it all in Spanish since that’s her primary language so thank god for google translate. overall, I told her about how I’m about to earn my masters degree in may, I’ve lost now 30 lbs of weight/having a better relationship with food, how I’m honestly still hurt about her son cheating on me (I was in my feels. You know if you ever get those feelings like you want your mom? She legit is like a mom to me since my mom isn’t an active part of my life so yeah I guess you can say I got mommy issues but anyways) I also told her that if she’d still like me to come over, I’d love to come over and see her.

Few days go by, I’ve been creeping onto his social media, it stings to see how he has flaunted his relationship with Kylie. It hurts because I keep playing this comparison game because he truly has NEVER allowed me to post about us and he would himself refuse to post about us on his social media. So, just to see how he’s been basically spending every single day with her and posting her throughout all of his social media, makes me feel an extreme type of way. during new years, she had a party at her house where it was him, her, his brother paco (which I was SHOOOK because she met paco and not everyone has ever met paco, who is his oldest brother), miguel and his girlfriend (both are super cute btw), Blake (surprisingly), and Erik. I felt some kind of way because obviously I know they would share a new years kiss even tho they’ve only been dating for literally a month. I dated him for 3 years and NEVER got a new years kiss (because he wanted to be with bros). Valentines day is coming up and it’d be their “two month” anniversary and I just KNOW he’d actually put EFFORT into spending that day with her. 3 years I dated this guy and he never ONCE did ANYTHING for me for valentines day. ok I’m getting more hurt thinking how he’s treating his other girls better than me so anyways BACK TO THE TOPIC

few days go by and I got another call from his mom. I actually picked up this time because I was really excited to hear her voice again. I legit would die for this woman legit #1 mom. She asked if she could see me and I happily said yes. It really means a lot that she still gives me the same energy that she gave me when I was still dating her son. One of the hardest parts of us breaking up was the potential of losing his family too because they are all truly good people and I am NOT the CEO of letting people go lmao. okay back to subject, I had TONS of anxiety driving over to her house because I had so many thoughts. I asked on the phone if 1.) is Lalo there. She said no. 2.) Is Paco there. No, he apparently flew back to California that morning. I was low key hoping paco would be there still because it would be cool to catch up with him but anyways my main concern was if eduardo was there so since he wasn’t, I was like “ok vroom vroom let’s go” lmao. WOWOWOWWO seeing her just made my heart so happy. She def has a lot more gray hairs since the last time I saw her lmao she’s the cutest anyways, I’m really shook that HIS DAD FREAKING HUGGED ME. THIS MAN NEVER USUALLY HUGS ANYONEEEEEEEEEEE. Typically how we greet each other, it’s like a wave from a distance and we obvi acknowledge each other. so WOOOOW I was very thankful and shook he hugged me. Anyways, his mom showed me around the house with the Christmas decorations, I noticed her birds were still doing well, she even showed me her new plants she got lmao. We sat at the dining room table and talked and ate mexican snacks. She has broken English and I have broken Spanish so literally thank god for dualingo because it has helped me. I love how when we are together, we talk really slow and try to annunciate for each other LMAOOO. Anyways, THIS WOMAN ALSO GOT ME A STOCKING filled with Mexican Candy. omg this woman i love her so much. Anyways, I showed my tattoos to her and she legit wanted to murder me lmao but she says she likes them but hates them at the same time. She also sat me down and we had a serious conversation in terms of how she sees me. She said that I am no longer known as lalo’s novia, what I am to her is a daughter. I am evelyn’s sister and yo boi that got me crying in the club because that’s what I would love to have, to maintain my relationship with them . Okay, to kind of speed things up, basically we kept talking about Evelyn’s quinceanera that’s happening this year AHHHHHH, dropped Evelyn off and her friend to a friend’s quince, and his mom took me to eat at paleterias tropicana where I tried elote for the first time and had a jugo verde WOOOOOW SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD. literally cannot stop thinking about it. Anyways, random note, I noticed my old K-State beanie in the car and his mom said it was Evelyn’s. It gave me a weird feeling because it was originally mine that he gifted me on our first Christmas together but obviously I knew he wouldn’t keep it so I’m not suprised he gave it to Evelyn. It made me wonder then what did he do to the other gifts that he originally gave me but I gave it back to him once we broke up.. okay that was a tangent, anyways, that was it with the night with his mom and ughhh it was a really fun night and I really am looking forward to seeing her again.

Now fast forward to now-ish, me not doing good of not checking his social media, I got triggered because they now made it “facebook officlal” that they are dating. it triggered me because again, he refused to publicize our relationship and it really threw me off that they’ve only been dating for a month (technically interested in each other since October, started dating November) and already publicizing they are together. they moving hella quick and basically, I got hella bitter. I felt reckless and I texted him. I KNOW I shouldn’t have texted him because I immediately felt a sense of regret after but also low key glad I did text him. ugh i hate me lmao. Anyways, i texted him and he asked if he could call me so I said yes. Luckily, the conversation was better than I expected because it was simply like two old friends catching up. It was a really good feeling even tho I’m honestly still hurt about the way that he treated me. It caught me by suprised when he said that he has talked about me with Kylie and he actually stated that he knows what he did and feels regretful for the choices he made. That was a huge shocker and I do still have trust issues because I try to take things that he says with a grain of salt. He may be saying things to me that I want to hear but it’s not the truth so anyways lmao. Our conversation was good and it really got me thinking what exactly am I doing/how am I really feeling.

I really am happy for him. Yes i’m still deeply hurt and feel a type of way about how he treated me, but I can’t do anything about the past and all I can do is just simply be happy for him. I will always love him without a doubt, but he isn’t my person. I hope this doesn’t come off as selfish but he will never find someone better than me, he is simply finding someone better suited for him. What helps me the most about this is thinking about ME because that’s the situation for him, however, I know I will find someone better than him because I deserve the best.

I felt bad for asking because I am just fucking nosy and I’m glad he was okay with me asking about what happened with his relationship with Lila (the girl he left me for) and how did he start dating Kylie. He shared with with me that even though it was all great in the beginning with Lila (and let me tell you dude, he totally was hella infatuated with her lmao), they started becoming two different people. She apparently wasn’t emotionally there for him when he needed her (IRONICCCCCCCCCCCCC BECAUSE THAT’S EXACTLY HOW HE WAS WITH ME THROUGHOUT OUR 3 YEARS TOGETHER) and she ended the relationship. It did make me sad to hear because everyone needs support and it is sad when you go to someone for support and they don’t give you it, ya know? anyways, he said with Kylie, they’ve been friends for two years (I knew who she was when we were together but they’ve always only been friends since they worked at the Sunflower together. This will sound extremely bad but I never thought about her being a girl to worry about because she did a lot of “white” things that we make fun of white people for and so it kind of shocked me that he is dating her now but anyways) apparently he said that “they were hanging out and next thing he knows is that he kissed her and that’s how they started dating.” dude didn’t want to go into detail which was fine but I’m also in my head like “ok lmao you literally just got broken up by your ex and then immediately start hanging out with another girl? ok” ANYWAYS, I really am happy for him and wish him the best.

It was cool to hear about what he’s hoping to do. He shared a lot more detail than usual which again caught me by surprise. Anyways, he shared that he is currently looking for a new place to live (a house to rent) somewhere in college hill (conveniently where Kylie also lives lmao) with Erik. He is also hoping to find another job soon because things at KWCH are no longer making him feel happier so he’s looking to see if he can work for a non-profit org which makes me happy for him because I’d also want to do the same. If I’m at a job where I’m not excited to be, I’d want to also try to make a switch. He also shared that junior (martin, his little brother) will be moving to Cali in May to move close to paco which wow made me really happy for them all. Anyways, he shared that he is hoping to stay in Wichita for about one more year and then possibly relocating to KC or somewhere in Oklahoma. i did encourage him KC because it seems that KC has much more opportunities than Wichita and Oklahoma. Only thing we both hate is driving in KC lmao

Okay, so overall, I’m still really hurt about how our relationship was and how it ended but I’m very grateful that I’m doing what is best for me to make progress because this is not an overall easy thing to do, move on. I do feel low key embarrassed that I still am not over our break up but I’m very glad that I know that He isn’t my person. we will and I cannot get back together with him even if he stated that he has “changed” Yes i invested so much in him to be my forever partner and it didn’t work out but that’s okay. I’m always willing to invest in people to be the best version of themselves and it really makes me happy to see people thrive. I truly cannot and will not take him back if there was ever a time where he wanted to give us a second try because I need to remember how he treated me. If he really was always thinking it was me, then he shouldn’t have cheated on me, treated me so poorly. I’m okay with us remaining friends, but as partners in life? that isn’t it. I deserve so much better and the man of my dreams will come. I’m 10000000% okay with being single because I know I need to work on myself so that I can be fully ready for my next. I really wish my next relationship is my one and only, but hey we’ll see.

so this is already extremely long but I’m very glad I got this all out of me. I know I have other anxieties such as starting school again, which will be my last semester before I earn my masters (FINALLY), RA training coming back up (so me working is coming back), JOB SEARCH. So much is coming up and AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I need to get my head into gear.

#personal

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pocketsizedquasar · 5 years

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So, Dave Malloy’s Moby Dick Musical.

Soooo I have a long and weirdly personal relationship with this musical, in the sense that I have been following it and its production super closely for the past several months & interacted with Dave on a very memorable occasion re: potentially problematic elements of the show, and just generally have spent a ridiculous amount of emotional energy worrying about this for the past two months (I’ll get into that more later).

I went to see the dress rehearsal on Sunday, and saw the previews again Friday night. Here’s my thoughts! This will be slightly spoilery, and very long. TLDR at the bottom!

1.) Artistic/technical aspects: needless to say, wonderful. The cast all performed phenomenally, the music was great, the set was beautiful. They were such a delight to watch & you could really tell they were all having a good time and /I/ had such a good time watching them! Both shows I genuinely had fun and enjoyed myself (also shoutout to the lighting and set design, the orchestra, and really everyone involved). The show really excelled here, which really was to be expected — the songs were SO so wonderful. even though I had issues with the way some of the characters were treated, I still absolutely adored watching the actors and the performances, even if the material wasn’t always my favorite. But more on that in a bit. Like, off the top of my head? Starr Busby made me cry in Dusk, Manik and his raw nerdy energy was such a perfect Ishmael, Andrew & Manik were lovely as Queequeg & Ishmael together, Tom’s Ahab floored me, Matt’s voice as Tashtego literally transcended me from this mortal plane... on Sunday I went onstage for the audience participation bit and everyone was just so wonderful and lovely (and like I got to hold hands w some of the cast and I think I can honestly die happy now)... like seriously, shoutout to this whole cast for being perfect human beings (and so sweet to interact with after the shows!)

Anyways.

2.) Race & Moby Dick, in general, and with this musical:

So... I will preface this section with the fact that Moby Dick is already very much a story about race. It’s not always handled well, of course, but Melville deals with race and racism and white supremacy a lot in the novel. So, ANY adaptation of Moby Dick is inherently also going to be about race, and by extension, any adaptation is going to be Relevant to race in modern America. Some adaptations have dealt with it by just whitewashing the characters or otherwise ignoring the racial issues, but ignoring it is still making a powerful statement on it as it is. Cool? Cool.

The way Dave has spoken about the show in interviews & such sounds like he’s wanted to really specifically address & comment on race in modern America. Which, like, okay, cool. A little bit weird since you don’t really have to try to make MD about race, and I question the ability of a white male writer in general to comment on race and racism in the modern US, but I digress.

Around June this year, some friends & I find out about potential plans to change the races of several of the characters — white men being played instead by woc (w/ the exception of ahab), characters of color having races swapped, etc. — sort of similarly to how Great Comet was cast. This raised a few red flags, since MD and GC are Very different source materials and a lot of the characters’ of color’s stories are Inherently About Their Races (re: Pip, Queequeg) & the white characters are Explicitly Racist (re: Stubb, and to a lesser extent the other mates) — changing around characters’ races doesn’t make sense in a story so intrinsically tied to race. A couple of friends go to the preview concert in NYC, where they saw ‘the tambourine’ — a long segment of the show that was then sung by “Pip-Not-Pip” (played by a nonblack actor) and also contained a lot of racist and ableist elements, and just generally...yikes.

Soooo this is where my weird personal story comes in. I won’t get too much into it, but the TLDR of it is, I talked about my concerns w the racial casting a few times here and on twitter; I tried to go meet Dave Malloy in person at the A.R.T.’s open house in October and give him a letter that @starbuck and I wrote with our concerns, and he recognized me as That Person Who Made Those Posts on twitter/tumblr, and I was just overall a very awkward human being.

Anyway.

There Have been improvements made since then, since October, and even since Sunday, so I’m optimistic — most of the changes have been fixing the casting. However, the bulk of tambourine is still there in the show (though it has been changed), & all the mates are still played by WOC, even though they are referred to in the show as white men (I don’t strictly have a problem with this; it’s just an interesting take to have them be ‘metatextually’ white). l’m very glad for the changes that have been made thus far, & I hope he continues to take things like this into consideration. I would have loved it if Dave were a little more transparent about some of the racial issues and their changes (if only for my peace of mind because, truly, the amount of emotional energy I’ve expended worrying about this gd musical is... astounding), but also so that? His audience could know that he’s willing & able to accept critique and make changes? I don’t know; I feel like transparency with issues like this is pretty important.

And then we have... Fedallah.

In the book, fedallah is a very poorly represented Parsi Zoroastrian man — melville really just went ham with the orientalism here. He’s just this badly written mystical exotified mess, and it’s awful.

In the musical, Fedallah’s actor gets a monologue where he talks about his experiences as a Black Muslim man & calls out both Dave & Melville on their respective racism, and just generally goes off about religion & racism. It’s not... terrible? But I’m curious as to a) who it was written BY (the actor? Or Dave? Bc it’s questionable at best if Dave) and who it was written FOR. It felt very self-congratulatory, very “hey look I’m woke for writing this and calling myself out like this, and you’re woke for hearing this.” I as a POC in the audience (specifically an ethnically persian person, so like, literally the group that fedallah is from) felt extremely uncomfortable, (1) with the erasure of Fedallah’s race & religion, (2) with his lumping of all religions together as “bad” and “fucked up” (which like, yikes, yeah you can criticize religion without lumping in indigenous religions, Islam, Judaism, etc with Christianity like that and implying that they’re all on the same level), (3) with the fact that this speech seemed to be taken as a free pass for the audience to just, like. Exonerate themselves of their own racism?? It felt like it was Dave congratulating himself for being “better” than melville (which congrats ?? You’re less racist than a white man from the nineteenth century), it felt like he was trying to Prove Something to a presumed white audience, and in doing so, alienating the audience of color. Like I distinctly remember the feeling of like “this show is not meant for me. I’m not the target audience.” And (4) because the actor did an accent whenever he was actually acting as fedallah and that just really rubbed my persian ass the wrong way.

Anyways.

Idk, I’m still on the fence about the whole thing there. Again, part of my discomfort stems from the ambiguity on who wrote it? And parts of it — calling out Melville’s racism, the actor talking about his own experience — were actually quite good. I just think it needs to be reworked, both from a racial and just a general writing perspective (which I’ll talk about next).

That and cut tambourine. The rest of the Ballad of Pip was fine, even great, without it.

3.) Writing: I’m pretty torn on this one, because there were a lot of things I really really liked, but a lot of things I really didn’t like. A lot of the added dialogue felt a bit clunky and unnatural, for one. I’m really happy with how Tashtego and Daggoo both got more development — their scenes together were great to watch — but it felt like it came at the expense of Queequeg’s character, who felt underdeveloped and like he was played off for laughs, especially in his intro. I ADORED how ishmael was characterized / acted, and I loved how he broke the fourth wall and went in and out of the show like he goes in and out of the narrative of the book, but I feel like his and Queequeg’s relationship (while, again, was acted so so sweetly & honestly made me cry) didn’t get, like, the narrative or emotional treatment it deserved? I felt baited the first time I went to see it, and I felt better the second time, but I still would’ve loved at least some kind of explicit narrative confirmation.

And I’ve talked about this before, but I really do believe that any take that reduces Ahab to just “privilege” is wont to flatten his character — and in this case it did. The performance was phenomenal, like I said, but from a writing standpoint, Ahab doesn’t really get the depth that the book gives him. I figured this would be the case going into this, especially given that he is the only white man on stage and Dave’s apparent take of “white man leading America to its doom,” but still.

So from a character standpoint I wasn’t too happy with how either Ahab or Queequeg were narratively handled (again, they were performed beautifully!)

And then both of the segments I had issues with race-wise (fedallah & the tambourine) also just from a writing perspective felt incredibly out of place and tonally dissonant from the rest of the story, to the point where they jarred me out of the show and even had a negative impact on the parts of the music that I DID like.

I think, ultimately, the show is trying hard to be too many things at once. It’s trying to be a faithful adaptation and a modernized retelling at the same time; it can’t decide which it wants to be and so it fails at both. It feels like at times Dave is trying too hard to prove a point (a point that it’s questionable whether he should even be making at all, as a white writer), and in doing so, loses us on the story. Storytelling should be about posing a question, not proving a thesis.

Anyway...TLDR:

Overall? It was a good show. I had a Lot of fun both times I went. I know the show is still changing a lot in previews, even more than the changes I’ve already seen between Sunday and Friday (apparently they’re adding an entire musical number? holy shit this cast is superhuman); I’m curious to see where it goes and what gets changed before it officially opens. Im much more optimistic about it now than I was.

But I think there’s still some pretty glaring racial issues that sort of drag the rest of it down for me, and from a writing perspective, I don’t believe that it can do the book justice without revisiting some of the characters and the way of approaching the storytelling.

So, yeah.

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 5 years

Text

Something There || Mike Wheeler x Fem!Reader

Requested: "Hey! Can you make a Mike Wheeler imagine where the reader is looking for Dart instead of Max and Mike walks in and it's basically the same scene but with more fluff! Also, if it's too much to ask, can you involve Eleven being jealous (because she's so cute that way) and the reader without a skateboard? Thank you <3"

A//N: I tried my best to follow the scene but also make it just different enough. Like with the whole skateboard thing it was harder than I thought for this scene not to have a skateboard in it, what with the whole zoomer thing, and long story short you have skates. That’s your thing. You like skating in your free time, you always have, you’re better than most. You’re abnormally good at them. Idk, when your not going between classes, (basically, when it’s any sort of emergency, or you have nowhere you need to be, or both, what have you) you strap them on so you can go places quicker. You love skating you would do it 24/7 if you could. Sorry if that’s not the case for you in real life. But yeah, its the kind that you can like attach to your shoes and you carry them around in your backpack and when you guys went looking for dart you decided now would be as good a time as nay so yeah... Not my best idea, I know but I couldn’t think of any alternative to zoomer so... here we are!

Pairings: Mike Wheeler x Reader

Warnings: Jealous Eleven. If your a hardcore Mileven fan this might not be for you.

Make friends, she said.

It’ll be worth it, she said.

When you and your mom moved to Hawkins Indiana, you figured it would be like any other typical cheesy movie plot where the girl moves to a shiny new town, has to make new friends, is a little angsty about it, but then everything falls into place later.

Well, not so much.

And by not so much, I mean, not at all.

Your first day at a new school, you figured you get into the routine of things before even trying to make new friends. No big deal, you just needed some time to settle in is all. But then two boys caught your scent and they practically follow you everywhere like puppy dogs and show no signs of stopping any time soon.

Normally, you’d be creeped out. And you’d admit, you were a little at first. But you soon realized they were harmless enough. They even made the effort to invite you into their friend group.

And boy, were they persistent.

After giving it lots of thought, you figured what could be the harm in giving them a try. It could be fun.

Boy, were you wrong.

You were beginning to get sick of all the hushed whispering and secret ‘party meetings’ they were determined to keep you out of.

Now there was a weird lizard frog that Dustin - one of the two boys, who would not stop drooling over you - discovered. His friend Mike, wanted nothing to do with you, insisting you stay out of everything. Will the other boy, who was quite shy, but the nicest of the bunch. And Lucas, the second boy who had shown quite a liking to you. You figured that at least Dustin and Lucas would stick up for you against Mike.

You know, given that they pestered you to join making you believe you were actually wanted at this school. And now, they were being all weird and secretive and letting Mike kick you out.

You were starting to think it was more of a cult type situation than a friend group given all the hushed whispers and exclusive meetings.

And one strange thing after another kept happening and now you were all spread out across the school looking for the weird lizard-frog thing that escaped. Knowing you’d personally cover more ground if you were your skates and given school was technically over you pulled out your strap on skates from your backpack and attached them to your shoes, leaving the rest of your belongings in your locker util you found the thing, you got to work.

After checking the gym and coming up empty you found yourself in the boys' locker room. You were kneeling down looking towards the back of an empty locker shelf that had the potential to be hiding Dart. When you found nothing, you rose to your feet, moving on to the next open locker. You stuck your hand inside and felt around, pushing some objects which you gathered to be cleaning supplies, that knocked each other over.

You cringed at the sound, hoping you didn’t scare Dart away if he was in here.

Out of nowhere, someone starts screaming behind you. You flinched at the sound but quickly whipped your head around to see Mike pointing the end of a broom threateningly. His face fell into a frown when he realized it was just you.

“The hell is your problem?” You demanded, heart, pounding against your chest.

“What are you doing? Why are you in here?” He asked angrily.

“Looking for Dart.”

“This is the boys’ room.”

“And?” You asked, matter-of-factly.

“So you should go home!” He spits out the words, threw the broom to the ground, and stormed back out to the gym.

Oh, that is it!

You were not going to let him treat you like this. You had done nothing wrong.

You quickly maneuver your way out of the room and after the boy.

“What is your problem with me, Mike? Why do you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you. How can I hate you? I don’t even know you.”

“Exactly! So why don’t you give me a chance?” You had to bring yourself to halting stop to avoid crashing into him when he suddenly stopped in his tracks and whipped around to face you.

“Because you’re annoying! Also, we don’t need another party member. I’m our paladin, Will’s our cleric, Dustin’s our bard, Lucas is our ranger, and El is our mage.”

A look of confusion crossed your face.

“El? Who’s El?”

“Someone. No one.” The words tumbled out of his mouth nervously.

Oh. So this about a girl.

You don’t know why, but the thought inflicts a small pang of jealousy that you quickly try to dismiss.

“Is it someone, or no one? Well?”

He seemed to have many thoughts clouding his brain but he quickly shook his head to rid himself of the thought.

“She was in our party a long time ago. She moved away, okay?” He said, voice leveling out.

You considered this and glided after him as he began making his way across the gym again.

“So she was a mage, huh?”

“Well, what could she do? Like, magic tricks or something?”

You considered your talents and a smirk crossed your face and you ran in pushed yourself off and gracefully positioned yourself so that you were now skating backward as you made conversation with the boy.

“I could be your zoomer.” You offered with a smirk.

He gave you an odd look like he wanted to be mad but he didn’t have the energy. You considered this a win.

“That’s not even a real thing.”

“It could be. I’m kinda an expert on wheels.” You offered amused, clearly hinting at your feet.

He gave you a look that said he couldn’t care less.

Feeling a new sense of confidence you began striding gracefully around him.

“You know, skating. See?” You teased.

You felt a sense of victory when you caught him fighting a small smile that tugged on the ends his lips as he tried to play it off with an annoyed eye roll.

You smirked at this.

“See? Zoomer!” You continued the charade by making strides in circles around him.

“Yeah, sure. Mind-blowing.” He scoffed, as you continued this, yet his eyes couldn’t seem to leave you as you as you circled around him. It came second nature to you, it was as easy as breathing.

Mike couldn’t help but silently note the subtle look of concentration that came naturally to your face when you weren’t looking at him. Or the way you smiled as you glided across the gym floor with no effort at all.

He even admired it. He refused to admit it of course, but he did admire it.

“Come on, you know you’re impressed.” You teased with a warm smirk.

A chuckle almost escaped from his lips but he choked it back in time.

+++

El strode through the halls, trying to recall the layout of the school from when she last visited over a year ago.

She made her way around a corner and passed some double doors.

“I don’t see anything impressive. You’re just going in a bunch of circles,” His words were critical but his tone carried a hint of amusement.

El stopped dead in her tracks. It was him.

Mike.

She was elated. She finally found him. But her happiness was cut short when she heard a soft lilting laugh float down the hall from the same source.

“Well, I’d like to see you give it a try. Now, THAT would be funny.” El did not know this voice.

All El knew was she did not recognize it, and she definitely did not like the feeling that accompanied it.

Her head peaked around the corner as the Mike and the unknown person continued talking.

“Come on, Mikey. Just give it a try” The voice teased.

The tone of voice and the silly nickname for Mike sparked something in El.

“No!” He argued. “And please, don’t ever, ever call me that, like ever again.” He couldn’t stop the small chuckle that escaped his mouth at the name.

“I stand corrected, you can smile.” The voice teased. “Come on, you can do it. If it’s not as hard as it seems, why don't you give it a try?”

“I don’t know how!” He said defensively.

“So, then you admit, it does take some skill.” The voice said.

“Well, I think that if I spent, like, all day practicing, I could do that.”

She slowly crept towards the double doors she had passed that appeared to be the source of the voices, afraid of what she might see.

“Ahh, mhmm. I’m sure.” The voice continued.

Even though El had yet to lay eyes on the mystery person she could tell that those words were said with a coy smile.

“Okay, you’re making me dizzy,” Mike said softly. “Please just stop. OR better yet, don’t. If you do this long enough, you’ll make yourself dizzy and fall and break something,” Mike teased.

Bracing herself El peeked through the small glass windows of the double doors and she was overwhelmed with emotion.

There he was. Mike. She missed him so much. Her heart was in her throat when she saw him. He looked older. He still had the same boyish charm that made her feel safe, but his features were more defined and he was much taller. She smiled when she saw him, but the smile quickly vanished.

“I wouldn’t worry about that.”

When she saw the source of the mystery voice, it felt like someone punched her in the chest. It was a girl, roughly the same age as herself. She had (h/l) (h/c) that framed her face perfectly and moved gracefully with her as she circled Mike playfully. She glided gracefully on her feet, she smiled warmly and leaned forward, expertly bringing one foot up in the air behind her so that she was now gliding on one foot, her eyes now closed. But that was not what hurt El. What hurt, was the expression Mike wore. He watched the girl with a smile on his face.

El couldn’t name the emotion expressed on his face but she did know that he had looked at her like that once before.

It stirred something in her and made her furious. Anger quickly overcame her and she tilted her head and focused all of her attention on the four wheels that supported the girl’s foot. And with a simple flick of the head, the girl was now lying on the floor in a daze, the wind knocked out of her.

The girl laying on the ground, hissing in pain. Mike quickly came to her aid much to El’s dismay. She turned on her heels and stormed out.

Meanwhile, Mike bent down to help you up. You gratefully took his arm and let him help you up. “So, you were saying?” He teased.

It was your turn to roll your eyes.

“That wasn’t me. I can skate like that in my sleep, but I swear it felt like something, I don’t know... Tugged on my wheels. I know that doesn’t make sense.”

Mike seemed taken aback by your words and he slowly looked over his shoulder to the doors to the hallway.

“What? What is it?”

Mike seemed distracted and also torn. Eventually, his words seemed to spill out of his mouth.

“Look, sorry, but I gotta go.” He then broke out into a jog and stormed through the doors into the hallway leaving you bewildered, and surprisingly disappointed.

You felt like you had finally gotten through to him. You almost could have sworn that you felt something between you two.

Something there, that wasn’t there before.

#mike wheeler #mike wheeler x reader #requested #stranger things #stranger things 2 #stranger things season 2 #zoomer #something there #beauty and the beast reference that was actually not planned at all #beauty and the beast #finn wolfhard #finn wolfhard x reader #mileven #eleven #one shot #stranger things one shot #stranger things imagine

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plush-anon · 6 years

Text

SU Theory: Pink Diamond never planned on taking the rebellion all the way to Homeworld

(Spoilers up to the recent Steven Bomb, ‘Heart of the Crystal Gems’ - you’ve been warned).

Giddy up folks, this one’s a doozy.

And when I say doozy, I mean freakishly long. Enjoy!

Something’s clicked into place for me after watching this bomb - particularly in ‘Made of Honor’. When Steven first unbubbles Bismuth, he says this:

“You know how you fought mom because her whole war strategy didn't make any sense? Well... you were right!”

This got the ol’ gears a’grindin’ for me. What exactly WAS Rose Diamond’s strategy in the war? We already knew that she highly disliked the idea of shattering gems, to the point of (potentially?) banning her army from doing it to the other side... even while the other side had no compunction on doing the same. Some of what Bismuth says in her title episode lends credence to this theory:

I designed this sword for a fair fight. It can cut through a Gem's physical form in an instant! Destroying the body, but never the Gem. But... Homeworld doesn't fight fair. I was working on a weapon that would've been a gamechanger. Homeworld knows how to hit us where it counts, but we can do everything they can do, and better.

This is actually emphasized later on in ‘Back to the Moon’ by what Eyeball says about Jasper when she first emerged:

“ I was on the ground in Facet 6 when I heard the tale of the Facet 9 Kindergarten Quartz that could. They said you popped out of the ground with your helmet on, and took out 80 Crystal Gems before the sun went down.”

(Note: this could refer to poofing, but given Jasper’s status now with Homeworld [in spite of being from Earth] if this only came from poofing Gems, especially since destabilizers exist now, that wouldn’t quite match up to what we’ve seen - at least in my opinion, feel free to disagree).

And when Steven brings up that shattering the gems of the enemy makes them the same as Homeworld, and that it’s not what a Crystal Gem would do (which I HEAVILY disagree with, but I digress), Bismuth brings up this:

“That's exactly what she said... What type of leader doesn't give her army the best chance to win?! How could you value the gems of our enemies more than our own?”

Now combine this with what we learn in ‘Now We’re Only Falling Apart’ - what Rose’s initial intentions started out being when she began her Rebellion:

“So she decided to make a stand as someone they couldn’t ignore. She was going to scare every Gem off the planet.”

Scare, NOT shatter. Rose Diamond never intended on killing ANYONE to get her point across. She never planned on going beyond Homeworld. Her initial goal was ONLY to protect the Earth - and, when Garnet came into the picture and changed things, her new focus was ‘Protect all life on Earth AND all Gems on Earth, so that both can change and flourish and grow’.

...There was never any mention of going beyond Earth to Homeworld with this. Hell, Rose’s initial plan to ONLY reclaim the Earth and... idk, make it some sort of free Gem/Human Paradise (seriously, what WOULD have happened? Would they have established trade with the humans, kept to themselves like what they did after the Corruption Event, made their own country somewhere, refurnished the Kindergartens, repurposed the floating arenas/courts/buildings to live in... what?) can be seen as far back as Rose’s Scabbard in Season 1:

“ Please, please understand: if we lose, we'll be killed, and if we win, we can never go home.”

NEVER. GO. HOME.

THERE WAS NEVER ANY PLAN TO TAKE THIS BEYOND EARTH.

EVER.

So, to sum up: the original plan was to scare off all gems from Earth to cease colonization. Then, after meeting Garnet, the goal expanded to making a safe haven for Gems to grow, and change, and go beyond their intended purpose.

More importantly, however? This highlights not only Pink Diamond’s foolishness (as if the Diamonds would REALLY let their Gems live freely from them in ANY capacity), it highlights her selfishness. ONLY saving Earth and those who are on its surface, huh? This would explain why no one ever made plans to retrieve the humans in the Zoo, or why no thought whatsoever was put towards taking this to other Gem Colonies, even to Homeworld itself.

Except...

someone did.

Bismuth wanted to take this war full on to Homeworld. She wanted to fight back directly against the source of everything they’d been taught - she wanted to go to the heart of the fight and go against the Diamonds themselves, the source of their entire hierarchy.

And when, she took this to Rose, someone who was extremely anti-violence, and, at the time, anti-escalation (no shattering, no focus on anything except those on Earth), it... ended poorly.

But as we can see, the idea itself, while it has merit, really did end poorly for the Gems. Rose ‘shattered’ Pink Diamond to end the war and scare off Homeworld for good...

...only for the Corruption Event to happen, and mutilate EVERYONE who was left to monstrosity.

To clarify, however: NO ONE KNEW THE DIAMONDS COULD DO THIS. NO ONE KNEW THAT THEY WOULD REACT THIS WAY EITHER. THIS SHOCKED EVERYONE.

(Although Bismuth in ‘Made of Honor’ made a very interesting remark: “ Only a Diamond could do something like this” - that may just allude to the fact that only a Diamond could alter a Gem so much, rather than actually recognizing this as something they had specifically done before.)

Now, would things have gone differently, say, if Bismuth had been able to shatter a different Diamond than the designated ‘child Diamond’ of the family, like Blue or Yellow, or heck, even White Diamond? Well, it’s hard to say. If all 3 had been shattered, the system would have collapsed, with high-ranking Gems fighting to either fill the void and take control, or fighting for vengeance against their Diamonds.

If only one had been shattered, say White? I can see civil war breaking out between Blue and Yellow as they vie for control OR: they band together and try to rule in her stead, becoming even WORSE.

BUT: that’s just in the possible future that the Rebellion stayed the size it was on Earth, and never grew. Who knows what would have happened had Rose actually reached out to other colonies?

In fact, why didn’t she, again?

“So, like a coward, she called for her Diamond allies, Yellow and Blue, to help.”

Pink Diamond was terrified of the other Diamonds. She had a better idea than anyone else what they were capable of (thought probably not the Corruption Blast), and knew from the beginning what might happen if she pushed too far in the Rebellion.

She kept it to Earth, to what she knew and could control - she had insight as to what ‘her’ armies (aka Blue and Yellow’s reinforcements) were about to do because, as this was technically her planet, she was allowed to be fully briefed on the war plans, and thus could best oppose it, highlighting Rose Quartz’s apparently incredible military skill and tactical brilliance.

But once they move off planet, to one of Blue or Yellow’s (or stars forbid, one of White’s) colonies? All of that insight goes down the drain. They treated Pink like a child and only informed her of what was happening on Earth because it was her first colony - and we all saw how Yellow treated a Pink who was interested in what she was doing with basic curiosity in Jungle Moon.

Pink would NOT be allowed to know anything about their military action, ESPECIALLY after failing so miserably with her first colony.

THAT was why Pink made no move to go beyond Earth, or to fight for other colonies. At that point, her facade as an ultra-capable Quartz would crumble, and so would the resistance.

Even the reasoning behind faking her shattering comes from that last moment she had with Blue and Yellow in ‘Can’t Go Back’:

“You don't even have to do anything. Just smile, and wave. Show everyone you are unfazed by this little uprising. Your gems will fall into line, and these Crystal Gems will be no more. As long as you are there to rule, this colony will be completed.”

(Personally, I believe this is when they started construction on the Cluster, but the timeline for that is all over the place, so I won’t even try to go in depth on that here)

At this point, Blue and Yellow are stepping in completely to finish the colony after Pink has ‘failed’ time and again. She has no more control over her colony, no reason to believe that either Blue or Yellow will keep her in any way shape or form up to date on what happens from here on out. She’s backed herself into a corner, and takes the only way out she can see:

And from there?

Everything changes.

“We're the only ones left. Homeworld. They were all leaving. We thought we'd won. There was a bright light and everyone was-why did I do it?”

This whole congruence falls together to truly highlight not only Pink’s naivety, but her selfishness and her desperation to cling to this image she’d created of a flawless Quartz (when she could never be a flawless Diamond). She wanted to keep her planet at all costs, even if not as intended. She didn’t want to lose face in her own rebellion, or even risk losing at all - to the point of denying other gems the right to use similar weapons to lead other rebellions on other colonies. She just wanted her own oasis for Gems and Humankind to exist, and never once thought about how the other Diamonds would react to that - how they may not want to have one solitary colony going against everything they stand for, everything they’ve ever worked for in creating their great Diamond Authority. After all, with a place like that, how many of their lower class workers, the ones who build and serve - how many of the masses would actually want to stay with them if a place like that existed in their empire? Who would actually stay to listen to them if one of their own - a runt, an Off-Color Diamond no less - had a colony like that? Why would they want to stay?

Why indeed.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Pink Diamond is the childish incarnation of ‘The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions’ - only she buried her head in the sand when it started to get too serious, when the actual implications of their rebellion - what she stood for - threatened to spread across the Diamond Authority and lead to a war that wasn’t clean, that didn’t have easy answers or paths to take, that couldn’t be fought without shattering others, that would end with the deaths of millions of gems and other life forms.

In the end, she was left with the shell of a planet she begged for, and the twisted forms of the gems who fought for her as a permanent reminder of everything she lost when she “won” the war, both friend and foe.

Now, after all this I still can’t say if going in as Pink Diamond instead of Rose Quartz would have helped much - the other Diamonds clearly have no issues with coming in and pushing her out, or taking over entirely. IF she’d come out in open support of the Rebellion, chances are high she would have been whisked away without her Pearl (likely as punishment) to White, and not been able to do much of anything from there.

Ultimately, there aren’t any clear answers here, except that the enemy is wrong and their way of life must change - as millions of lifeforms, Gem and intelligent mortal, are in danger if they are allowed to continue. Protests, diplomacy, begging from the one person in power who thought that way - who, out of all of them would be respected the most - was ignored entirely.

In cases like this, war seemed to be the only answer.

But as many of us know, there are no easy paths in war.

Shame that Pink Diamond didn’t until it was too late.

#su spoilers #su theory #fan theory #character analysis #analysis #steven universe #pink diamond #rose quartz #rose diamond #bismuth #diamond authority #christ this turned out to be massive #may come back and put in a read more line later #not sure where to right now #enjoy though!#also tagging this as #su critical #juuuuuuust to be safe

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

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Skam Italia episode 9 reaction

shout out to the sheer number of snake emojis in the comments on any clip featuring or mentioning Martino

Episode 9

Clip 1 - Silvia spills the beans

Skam Italia being educational, kinda! I’m going to try out this headache technique.

According to the subs I found, Sana’s janitor told her about it? … her housekeeper? That’s probably closer to what it was but I just like the idea of Sana going around striking up conversations with janitors.

But another version of the subs didn’t have that part at all so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dear Lord, Silvia, chill the hell out. Someone sitting in someone else’s car doesn’t mean they’re dating. Although lmao, Eva and Noora could have stood to learn that in season 2.

Actually, I do get how Silvia would be upset? She’s really jumping the gun but Edoardo just treated her like crap in front of people. I would probably be a little hurt that my friend was maybe hanging out with someone who hurt me. The problem with Silvia is that her motivation is less, “Eva, how could you associate with someone who’s treated me like garbage?” and more, “Eva, what were you doing with my mans???”

Evaaaaa, why did you trade that completely obvious look with Eleonora??? Just make it seem the most suspicious you can. I mean, if you don’t want to spill the whole truth about Edoardo digging for info on Eleonora, you can literally say “I studied for my exam in the car and he asked me about it” and technically that’s not a lie.

The flashbacks with Eva and Laura were pretty cute. Aesthetic hair-braiding!

I do like Sana immediately being like “lol why would you trust Laura” and bringing up the water throwing incident as a sort of logical evidence why Laura isn’t the greatest, as opposed to Vilde/Silvia saying something dumb and Islamophobic and Sana having to mention the water incident as proof of her loyalty. Also Silvia looks humbled by Sana mentioning she was defending Silvia’s honor.

Sana asking Silvia whether she has to meet her mother was a nice way of calming the situation for Eva’s sake while getting Silvia to leave before the problem can escalate. It was thoughtful for Silvia, too, as it gave her a chance to escape instead of digging the hole deeper.

I'm glad that the Edoardo lift had more plot relevance than just ship teasing (multi-tasking is A+) and I think that it’s good to illustrate how much it would break Eva is to lose a friend again. Her offering to let Silvia listen to the message she left Martino as proof is rather heartbreaking in its desperation. On the other hand, I don’t know how I feel about the emotional impact of this scene having to be more about poor Eva weeping and having to beg Silvia for forgiveness over something that was ultimately trivial and meant nothing, and that we as the audience know meant nothing, rather than Eva dealing with the guilt that she’s been carrying around for months over destroying her relationship with her best friend. That is the Big Secret Eva has been hiding from both her new friends and the audience so it probably needs more focus (which to be fair, is elaborated on in the bathroom scene later).

I saw some talk of how people thought it was an improvement that Silvia didn’t call Eva a slut, and while of course it’s nice that she didn’t do so, I don’t get why it’s better for Silvia not to call Eva a slut in this version since Noora directly confronts Vilde about it in the moment, it’s not like it was this casual misogyny in the show that went unaddressed. That was the point, it was a teachable moment. It’s certainly not worse that the moment wasn’t there, I just think it’s more about how it’s handled than anything else. (Also, I mean … Vilde being a jerk was specifically a tip off that something was going on with her.)

Clip 2 - Eva talks to a friendly serpent

Martino knows all the school drama and social scene. It is pretty damn shady of him to be like oh yeah, they didn’t invite you because that girl whose boyfriend you kissed, her friend is organizing it, when he is responsible for the apparent non-invite in the first place, or so he would think. But he’s so casual about it. Not much guilt when he tells her that. Maaaaybe a little more when she starts to tell him about what she’s dealing with at school? IDK.

Eva sounds less angry or frustrated, more defeated.

I’m still wondering what her arc is going to be? Because there isn’t that pressing question of “who are you?” and her not having her own identity, it’s like … I guess she’s questioning whether she’s become a bad person? Sort of? She has Silvia making assumptions about her being a bad person, Laura thinks she is a bad person based on events that really happened, and Gio is questioning why she hangs around with bad people. That could be an area to explore in terms of her relationship with Laura but I’m not all that sure how it would play regarding her and Gio since Gio has made many of the same mistakes she has, he can’t exactly talk.

Martino trying to pull some reverse psychology is cute because he can’t quite keep a straight face.

Sucks that this friendship is about to go down the toilet!

Clip 3 - Eva and the older girls

Heh, this angsty song gets cut off as soon as we establish that Maria does not give a crap who Eva is.

I always enjoy this scene and this advice. It’s one of the most underrated parts of season 1. These girls didn’t seem as invested as giving Eva some friendly advice but again, love that they get interested in their own sexual exploits rather than Eva’s and she ends up just walking away.

It’s nice that there was a totally logical, boring reason they didn’t get invites though how were they planning to invite everyone else once they stopped on Facebook? Word of mouth?

Mmm, I don’t know if I totally buy that Alice’s BFF doesn’t give a shit at all who Eva is? Of course her maturity is nice, and I can certainly buy that she doesn’t care enough to keep Eva from being invited to the party, but Alice got in a physical fight with this girl because she was that upset. . Like who were those girls accompanying Alice in the fight if not her friends? (At first they seemed like they wanted to hold Alice back but by the end it seemed like they were fighting as well.)

I think I’d have preferred if Maria was like, “Just between you and me, Federico is a fuckboy and I’m glad Alice can see the truth now,” or “I don’t like that my best friend was hurt, but I’m not petty enough to keep you off the list” or “I love Alice but she overreacts to everything and makes a lot of drama.” Or just some explanation for her total lack of fucks. The older Norwegian girls weren’t like, Iben’s best friends, correct? They weren’t even in the same grade? Maria has her BFF involved.

Clip 4 - Hippogriff

Fede, teach me your ways of absorbing information just as Sana showed us how to get rid of headaches.

Sana having an uncharacteristically soft moment and trying to deny it. She’s been really blunt with Silvia but their relationship has been all about helping Silvia with no apparent gain for Sana, except friendship.

Also she’s very reluctant to spread rumors, like this Sana goes from hard to soft pretty fast.

Federico and Laura leaving the men’s bathroom together sure adds a layer to Edoardo’s comment about Silvia hanging around the boy’s bathroom! That is just a thing these characters do, hook up in bathrooms. In S3 Martino can just wander into any men’s bathroom and find a girl to pretend to like.

Clip 5 - Eva and Laura and Alice

Nice use of music with the tense beat going as Eva drags off Laura, then it cuts off abruptly as Eva is about to get real and vulnerable.

This is easily the best acting Italian Eva has done so far. There have been a few “emotional” scenes where I thought she seemed too theatrical and not natural for the material but this was very good. I almost wanted them to stretch it out longer, as in the original, so we could get more of this performance.

And I’m pretty sure Laura was crying too by the end, which is very touching. I do think it’s one of S1’s best aspects how the Ingrid/Laura is not the villain, is actually the wronged party, but that she and Eva are able to come to a peaceful resolution.

It’s pretty sad that Eva made that little attempt at a wave back in the first clip. She really missed Laura.

Ha, I didn’t care for that Alice intro, though! Seeing her come up in the hallway definitely distracted from this intense, emotional acting between Eva and Laura. Especially because the moving music keeps going as she’s spying on them, and only cuts off when she throws her books down. I think it would’ve been more effective to keep the Eva-Laura shots going and keep us really engrossed in their dialogue, and then when Laura mentions Fede, suddenly cut to Alice standing like right there in the doorway and cut off the music, for a true jolt and change in the scene’s energy.

Alice’s actress looks so defeated as she realizes what a piece of shit her boyfriend is. And it’s nice that she apologizes and asks how Eva is doing. You know, before she inadvertently reveals Eva has been betrayed by a good friend.

“He looks like he cares about you” does that mean Martino looked pained when he told Alice about Eva and Fede? Boyyyy, why did you do such a stupid thing? (I know why, it’s still stupid.)

General Comments:

This has been a solid remake and overall they’re handling Eva’s emotional turmoil well. The point I’m wondering about is what Eva’s ultimate conclusion/personal statement is going to be since they’ve left out a lot of the questioning of her identity and insinuations that she is a follower not making her own choices. Season one’s strength lay a lot in that finale so I hope they have something cohesive for her character.

I am not Italian so if I misunderstood something or missed context, feel free to correct me.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamit reactions #skam italia reactions

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surveysonfleek · 7 years

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309.

1. What is your birth name? What name do you use? i go by my birth name. my name is pretty different so i don’t want to post it since a google search would probably bring this tumblr up haha. 2. Do you have a nickname? What is it, and where did you get it? yes. it’s a mix of my first and middle name and it’s also super different. my mum came up with it.

3. What do you look like? (Include height, hair, eyes, skin, apparent age, and distinguishing features) i’m 5′4″, dark brown hair with lighter ends, brown eyes, sorta tanned skin, i guess i look my age (26). 4. How do you dress most of the time? these days pretty comfortably. during winter i stick to leggings, sweaters or a tee with a jacket/coat. in summer i wear a lot of dresses.

5. How do you “dress up?” usually by wearing a dress and wearing more makeup than usual.

6. How do you “dress down?” trackpants and oversized tees.

7. What do you wear when you go to sleep? pyjamas or old clothes i wouldn’t wear out anymore.

8. Do you wear any jewelry? yes. earring, nose rings and bracelet. 9. In your opinion, what is your best feature? my skin. 10. What’s your real birth date? dec 5. 11. Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.? i live in the suburbs in a typical two storey home with a big backyard. 12. Do you own a car? Describe it. yeah, a black 2011 suzuki alto. 13. What is your most prized mundane possession? Why do you value it so much? my perfumes. i just collect them and they really do remind me of different eras of my life haha.

14. What one word best describes you? easygoing.

Familial Questions 1. What was your family like? i love my immediate family. my parents did separate when i was 18 so that was hard but i’m just making the most of it now.

2. Who was your father, and what was he like? my dad is the kind and patient one of the family. i was spoilt silly by him but he also taught me how to be humble. my dad kinda goes to me for his problems now which is actually pretty hard on me but whatever, he’s my dad.

3. Who was your mother, and what was she like? my mum is really hard working and still insists on doing everything for me and my sister. she’s a really strong woman.

4. What was your parents marriage like? Were they married? Did they remain married? nah they separated back in 2008. technically they’re still married. honestly their entire marriage was fine but after a year of arguing in 2008 they decided to go their separate ways.

5. What were your siblings names? What were they like? i have one younger sister, dana. she’s the typical 19yo, still loves bieber, loves kylie jenner etc. we didn’t really get along growing up but now we’re getting closer which is nice.

7. When’s the last time you saw any member of your family? Where are they now? question 6 is missing grrr. umm i saw my mum a couple hours ago for dinner. she’s probably sleeping now.

8. Did you ever meet any other family members? Who were they? What did you think of them? yeah i’ve met all of my aunts, uncles and first cousins. there’s plenty of them. idk they’re all different, i get along with some more than others but i don’t hate anyone.

Childhood Questions 1. What is your first memory? i was on vacation in the philippines at 2yo, i remember going to a zoo and riding in a boat? 2. It is common for one’s view of authority to develop in their adolescent years. What is your view of authority, and what event most affected it? eh, i didn’t really notice i was always good to my parents. my teachers, not so much. 3. What were/are you like in high school? What “cliché” did/do you best fit in with? i was in the group that were friends with everyone. they were friends with the popular people even though i wasn’t lol. there’s honestly no cliche for it. 4. What were/are your high school goals? my main goal was to get into uni, which i did. 5. Who was/is your idol when you were growing up? no one. 6. What is your favorite memory from adolescence? just those nights where i’d be on the phone until the early hours of the morning. and being on msn until late too lol. 7. What is your worst memory from adolescence? none that i can think of. probably my parents separating. Occupational Questions 1. Do you have a job? What is it? Do you like it? If no job, where does your money come from? yeah i have a job that i hate so much lol. i need to find a new job asap and i keep fkn telling myself that but it’s seriously time. 2. What is your boss or employer like? If a Student what are your teachers like? every night it’s a different supervisor so there isn’t one person that i have to report to all the time which is good. 3. What are your co-workers or fellow students like? Do you get along with them? Any in particular? i love some of my coworkers, they make the shift go faster. 4. What is something you had to learn that you hated? a lot of math. 5. Do you tend to save or spend your money? Why? a bit of both. i treat myself sometimes. Likes & Dislikes Questions 1. What hobbies do you have? traveling, reading, board games, shopping. 2. Who is your closest friend? Describe them and how you relate to them. definitely my boyfriend. he’s the only person that knows the most about me. 3. Who is your worst enemy? Describe them and why you don’t get along. i don’t really have one. 4. What bands do you like? Do you even pay attention? i don’t pay attention lol. 5. What tape or CD hasn’t left your player since your purchased it? Why? i have neither right now. 6. What song is “your song?” Why? i could probably make a list of 20 songs that are so ‘me’. 7. What’s been your favorite movie of all time? a couple. i usually stick to aladdin though. 8. Read any good books? What were they? yes plenty. 9. What do you watch on the television? i binge watch all sorts of shows. right now it’s skin wars and the handmaid’s tale. 10. When it comes to mundane politics, do you care? If so, which way do you tend to vote? If not, why don’t you care? i care to a certain extent. it’s compulsory to vote here. 11. What type of places do you hang out in when you are on your own? my room. 12. What type of places do you hang out in with your friends? restaurants, bars, each other’s houses. 13. What annoys you more than anything else? rudeness. 14. What would be the perfect gift for you? money. 15. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? scenery? idk.

16. What time of day is your favorite? night. 17. What kind of weather is your favorite? sunny without a cloud in the sky. warm in the sun, cool in the shade. 18. What is your favorite food? What is your least favorite food? sushi, ribs and hotdogs. my least fave is probably curry, even though there are some curries i do enjoy. 19. What is your favorite drink? (Coffee, Coke, Juice, Beer, Wine, etc.) root beer. 20. What’s your favorite Pokémon? Why? eevee only coz it’s cute. 21. Do you have any pets? Do you want any pets? What kind? yeah i have a dog named sky. 22. What do you find most relaxing? (Not as in stress relief, but as something that actually calms you down.) naps and massages. 23. What habit that others have annoys you most? coughing without covering their mouths. 24. What kind of things embarrass you? Why? anything that brings attention to myself. 25. What don’t you like about yourself? i laugh too loud. 26. How would you like to look? me but better haha.

Morality Questions 1. What one act in your past are you most ashamed of? What one act in your past are you most proud of? i’m not really ashamed of anything. i’m proud of graduating uni. 2. Have you ever been in an argument before? Over what, with who, and who won? plenty. usually with my boyfriend. no one wins or loses lol. 3. Have you ever been in a physical fight before? Over what, with who, and who won? nope. 5. What trait do you find most admirable, and how often do you find it? intelligence. i don’t find it that often these days. 6. What’s the worst thing that can be done to another person? Why? slow torture. 7. Are you a better leader or follower? Why do you think that? i prefer to be a leader but tbh i don’t know what that’s like either lol. 8. What is your responsibility to the world, if any? Why do you think that? tbh i have no idea. 9. Is it okay for you to cry? When was the last time you cried? hell yeah. idk maybe a couple days ago but just a tear.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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lavender-buck · 7 years

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Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by: @mikanseidest!

The Last

1. drink: Water! 2. phone call: It was my mom asking me if I needed anything from the store! 3. text message: My girlfriend Megan <3 4. song you listened to: This Pomp And Circumstance cover 5. time you cried: Last night/Early AM hours this morning 6. dated someone twice: Yes technically and he was awful both fucking times 7. kissed someone and regretted it: I mean... It wasn’t really consented to on my part, so I regret not decking him for it. 8. been cheated on: Probably, but he would never admit it 9. lost someone special: Yes. 10. been depressed: It’s been.... A doozy lately. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: No, never been drunk! I hate alcohol, actually.

3 Favourite Colours

12. Baby blue 13. Pastel yellow 14. Pastel pink

In the Last year have you

15. made new friends: Yes! 16. fallen out of love: Nope! 17. laughed until you cried: Yeah! It happens a lot actually! 18. found out someone was talking about you: Mhmmmm 19. met someone who changed you: I sort of... Re-met somebody. 20. found out who your friends are: Yes. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nope!

General

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Uhhhh like.... Probably around 12, but they’re family. 23. do you have any pets: I have Stihl and he’s actually a service dog so not really a pet, but he’s still an animal I own. He’s half German shepherd and half husky. I also have a male delta tail betta named Levi, he’s black and green/blue with white. I have a marimo I consider a pet too named Armin... 24. do you want to change your name: Well legally yes, since I’m transgender and my deadname is my legal name. I also try to consider a middle name for myself often, but Carter always seems to be my favorite. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I cleaned my room.... And baked myself a cake that was secretly for it (My parents are JWs, birthdays are forbidden), and bought myself an Armin figure with a gift card my girlfriend gave me. <3 26. what time did you wake up: Oh, like a quarter to noon. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping... But I woke up later that night. 28. name something you can’t wait for: To live with my girlfriend! 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Just a little while ago, she was falling asleep on the couch rather than eating the food I made her... She’s very tired. 31. what are you listening to right now: My dog is barking in his sleep and my fish tank’s bubbler... 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Wh????? YEAH 33. something that is getting on your nerves: People screaming “DOGGY” and pointing and squealing like they’re 2 when I’m out with my service dog, making me look like a circus act or some sort of freak 34. most visited website: Tumblrrrrr 35. hair colour: Auburn 36. long or short hair: Short, but I really need a trim... It’s getting out of control! 37. do you have a crush on someone: Armin Arlert My girlfriend! 38. what do you like about yourself: I like that I’m very soft(TM) and full of love! I wish others were more like that! 39. piercings: Just my ears! I keep small silver studs in them! 40. blood type: I dunno.... 41. nickname: Laurie, Bunny, and some people know me by Ingo. 42. relationship status: Taken in a monogamous relationship! 43. zodiac: Capricorn 44. pronouns: He/him/his 45. favourite tv show: Attack On Titan and Medabots and Pokemon and MLP!!!! ALL OF THOSE!!!! 46. tattoos: None, but if I were to get one I’d want a tiny bunny somewhere cute. 47. right or left handed: Right! 48. surgery: Nope! 50. sport: Nuh-uh! I’m a momma’s boy, I don’t do sports! ....Running with my dog maybe? 51. vacation: Near the ocean on a beach with lots of sand and salty seawater and ocean air and cool food vendors!!!!!!!!!!!!

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: I just finished making and eating vegetarian chili with garlic bread, and had some rice crispy treats for dessert! 54. drinking: Water, just water! 55. I’m about to: Watch Game Grumps and talk to my loving girlfriend until bedtime! 56. waiting for: When I get to see my girlfriend irl! And when I can hopefully buy more amano shrimp for my aquarium some time in the future! 57. want: Lots of Armin Arlert, Pokemon, and MLP merch! 58. get married: If my girlfriend wants to down the road! 59. career: I wanna train dogs or groom them!

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: HUGS. 61. lips or eyes: Eyes! 62. shorter or taller: I’m really used to people being taller, Idk what I’d do if I met somebody shorter honestly.... I’m not ready to be the alpha... 63. older or younger: Older, for sure! I really have a thing for older partners. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Tummy! But my definition of a nice stomach is a big round chubby one... 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, definitely.

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: Absolutely not. 68. drank hard liquor: I was forced to and it’s part of my PTSD :’)))))) 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose my glasses all the time, aaahh.... 70. turned someone down: A lot, sadly. 71. sex on the first date: Sadly yes because past me is fucking stupid. (I’m an irl virgin but if long-distance shit counts....) 72. broken someone’s heart: Definitely, but we’re still good friends because we made up! 73. had your heart broken: I’m not sure uhhhhhhh does trauma count and abuse 74. been arrested: Nope 75. cried when someone died: ...I cried when my favorite betta died actually, he had some sort of infection and a huge tumor that he had when I got him. His name was Geranium and I called him Gerry (Jerry) for short. I still miss him because I’d spend literal hours by his tank when I was depressed. But no humans close to me have ever died actually, not ever. 76. fallen for a friend: All of my lasting relationships were friendships to romance.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: No, to put it simply... 78. miracles: My girlfriend and my dog are miracles! 79. love at first sight: No. 80. santa claus: I was raised as a JW lmaoooo 81. kiss on the first date: Not unless they were already a friend first!

OTHER:

84. eye colour: Hazel! 85. favourite movies: All the Pokemon ones and BAMBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAMBI BAMBI BAMBI BAMBI AND WINNIE! THE! POOH! I also like this one movie called Felidae, but I dissociated the entire time so LOLLL WHO KNOWS IF IT’S ACTUALLY GOOD

I tag: @stupid-things-and-armin-arlert, @joeyarlert, and @stardust-moth if you guys wanna do it! No pressure if you don’t wanna!

#buckpost #tagged

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acaranna · 7 years

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From the Genfic Prompt list "10. Two people meet and one says to the other, “I’m adopting you. We’re friends now.” Later they add, “You think I’m kidding.” for Tony Stark aaaaand.. idk, Rhodey, Bruce Banner, anyone that will treat him with the love he deserves??

Okay Darling! I liked that idea of yours and I hope that I could at least somewhat portrait my take on it? I mean, I could take this idea and let my muse run wild with it. In fact - she would take it in three different directions if I let her. Which I can’t do, because otherwise you will never get your birthday present.^^ Happy Birthday (again), Love!

Gen-fic ---- Tony Stark/ Bruce Banner

“Okay, that’s it. I’madopting you – we’re friends now!”

Tony still remembersthose words as if they had been spoked hours ago and not years. He remembersbeing left to his own devices in a huge research facility with too many ideasin his head and too much time on his hands. His head is filled with peopletalking at him instead of to him.

“You think, I’mkidding. Right?” Those words were said only two hours later when Tony had managedto recalibrate two different machines and was being chased out of the lab. Hisnew ‘friend’ running right by his side and grinning mischiviously.

It all comes back in arush and his head starts pounding like there is no tomorrow. He slides down thewall and pulls his knees close, just so he can rest his head on them. It shouldhave been easy. His calculations weren’t wrong. He knows that they had beenright. He double checked them – no, he triple - checked them and they allworked out properly.

So why then, is hehiding inside the small storage room that lies forgotten beside his ownresearch lab?

Because something waswrong in his calculations. That is the only plausible answer he can come upwith. The only thing that can explain why his body isn’t that of a man in hislate thirties anymore but of a boy of barely thirteen years old. It shouldn’thave happened.

“Tony?”

He doesn’t reply.Instead he pulls his knees closer to his chest in order to keep himself assmall and quiet as he can be. Time. He only needs a little more time to calmback down and then he can go back to the drawing board and try to redo all ofit. He needs to fix this mistake.

“There you are!”

Tony stays quiet. Hetries not to react to the other person or the relief in their voice. It won’tbe there for long. The happiness never lasted when he truly was a child so whyshould it last now? There are even more reasons for the others to be annoyed oreven angry at him. Oh, he doesn’t mind it and sometimes even tries his hardestto get just that reaction out of theothers.

This time was different,though. This time he really messed up.

A body slides downbeside him and the warmth it radiates out makes him want to just lean in. Onlyfor a few minutes until his mind finishes sorting through the mess. But hedoesn’t move. He keeps his eyes closed and his face pressed against his knees.

“Tony,” the voice isquiet now. “Everything is going to be okay. We will figure out what went wrong.It could be a fault in the machine. I mean, your calculations were all correct.Jarvis and I looked them over twice and neither of us could find a mistake inthem.”

“I didn’t make amistake?” He hates how his voice breaks but even more than that he hates thefact that a weight seems to fall off his shoulders. “I was right?”

“Look at me, Tony,please.” It is not the answer he wants to hear but Tony obliges anyway. Brucelooks tired but he always does. Heck, even back when they were both in theirtwenties he looked tired.

“Your calculations wereall done correctly. You tried to imagine everything that could go wrong andtried to prevent that from happening. The only thing that can be at fault hereis either something technical – which we can figure out quickly enough – or oneof Thor’s friends felt it would be time to play a prank on us. In which case I’dlike to have a long, long chat with them.”

Tony chuckles. He can’thelp it. Bruce’s presence is soothing and the, obviously faked, irritated scowlon his face is funny.

They sit in silence fora while and Tony finally allows himself to slide closer to the bigger bulk ofhis friend’s body. The room really isn’t warm enough. Bruce wraps his armaround his shoulders and gives them a friendly squeeze.

“So, what now?” Tonyasks after a long while. He looks up from where he is busy pulling hisshoelaces loose.

“Now?” Bruce’s eyebrowsrise in thought. “Well, we should get you something fitting to wear. Then weshould get something to eat – because let’s face it – you don’t eat enough,Tony. And then we will start goingover your experiment again.”

“But I’m not hungry,”Tony whines playfully just when his stomach decides to rumble. Loudly.

“Right,” Bruce nods. “Wewill get some food. And you will eat.” He stands up and winces when his backpops audibly.

“Why should I do whatyou tell me?” Tony takes the offered hand but can’t fight the pout that settleson his lips.

“Because I adopted you,remember?”

And Tony does.

#marvel #tony stark #bruce banner #birthday present #calendar #p:marvelgen #ohfuckthisshit #ask reply

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beccas-a-cipher · 5 years

Text

What is Up With LuLu? (Theory)

Originally posted: 21 September, 2018

Ironically this theory isn’t outdated, it just needs to be reworked with new evidence.

I wrote this at a ridiculously late hour and the first line was “I guess this is a theory I guess” I should NOT write close to midnight

Like the title says it's 11 PM on a Thursday and there was just a Magiclicas talk show and now I'm all spooled up about LuLu

She's so inconsistent!

Like, I know she's meant to be that way, but at the same time, some things literally DONT ADD UP.

First off, when Kai was leaving the Winter Ball he ran into her and called her Misuki. I can understand her nickname being LuLu, the name doesn't bother me.

What bothers me is that in one of the following episodes, LuLu implies she knew Kai in the past as a Cipher (and as a close family friend?) and that she seemed rather unsure about Kai being a Spero

1. This means Kai joined the Spero fairly recently, unless it's been several years since they last saw each other. I don't quite remember the details of that conversation tbh

2. This means LuLu doesn't know she's a Spero herself at this point in time?!

When Kagae was first introduced (I'm fairly sure it's actually spelled Kage but is people can’t spell Ichiro I'm just spelling it pheonetically) we all noticed she had the same streaks of pink and purple hair as LuLu, but her hair was grey. I remember asking Jakey about it in an after party stream, and he said that it was a combination of the lighting in the Spero hideout and the shaders and that they decided to do her skin differently as a Spero

But as shown in the finale, either Principal Laurens hooked LuLu up with her wig store or Kagae's hair color literally changed before our eyes into LuLu's. So there's clearly some unanswered questions about this still.

Not to mention that LuLu and Kagae don't seem to be aware of each other. LuLu doesn't realize she's been acting strange, only that she has periods of amnesia and strange exhaustion before Kaya discovers... whatever she technically discovered because episode 23 threw all that out the window.

At the same time, Kagae doesn't know HOW she knows which potion is the one needed to treat Jax while he's having complications in the demone scuro ceremony. But LuLu is rather excellent with potions, so although LuLu's knowledge comes through subconsciously to Kagae, she doesn't realize what is actually going on.

From this recent livestream (which I only caught the last minutes of) Jakey said that Ichiro does care for LuLu, although whether it's for the potential of the White Stone or if it's a true father-daughter relationship it wasn't exactly clear. But Jakey DID say that LuLu's mother is Ichiro's wife?! (That honestly surprised me but alright) so despite all this, LuLu HAS to know who her father really is, right? But then how would she not really know she's a Spero? Is Kagae the one he calls his daughter so that's why she's the Spero, and LuLu the Magiclica spy in Everston?

I also just realized why Ichiro and Reina pretended to be LuLu's parents during the musical I guess THAT makes sense now...

I had one theory on this but thinking about it now I have several-

1. LuLu has schizophrenia (a multiple personality disorder where often personalities don't remember what the other has done, or something to that effect) this would explain her not remembering her time as Kagae, or Kagae as LuLu.

2. Ichiro has some sort of spell on her that as Kagae, she is a Spero and is loyal to him and that is why at the reveal in episode 23, Ichiro said what he said how he said it and LuLu's reaction to this, which for me was hard to interpret. Was she confused? Silently guilty? Determined? I couldn't tell. It's kinda like all the kiss scenes with their eyes open XD

Also this could also explain that Ichiro was shown to use LuLu's shadow ability to possess Melissa

3. LuLu/Kagae have two souls in one body. Idk how this could happen, but it kind of seems like it could fit. And considering the particle scene at the end of episode 23, if the theories that there's gonna be some sort of Chase/Ichiro fusion (even though it's confirmed Ichiro will not be seen nor heard again (alive) in the series) is it not possible that LuLu and Kagae died in similar ways to Chase and Ichiro and their remains fused to create this sort of split-lived person?

4. Ichiro has managed, along with both of the previous theories somewhat, to make LuLu and Kagae think they are to completely different people. LuLu is a Magiclica going to Everston Academy and lives with her normal-enough mother and father, while Kagae is a Spero who is a devout follower of Ichiro and is often his right-hand woman. It could even be that Ichiro has convinced the Kagae side that he isn't even her father, only her superior, to further differentiate the two lives. It would be cruel and evil thing to do, especially to his own daughter and would most definitely cause a serious existential crisis and probably some sort of depression, but Ichiro has also been shown several times to be very cruel to get what he wants; threatening Melissa's family and friends, giving Kai a horrible test to convert Quinston unwillingly, and trapping Mr. Foley in his own portal for all eternity (or until Ichiro died :D)

Or maybe I'm insane since it's 11:35 at night and I've missed some serious details

Although all I do have to say for sure is that the truth about LuLu has been hinted at for a VERY long time, we just never knew it!

I added this later, it should really go up at the part where I first mentioned LuLu’s parents but it’s too much work to copy/paste more than one paragraph in the Tumblr mobile app :/

In the episode "Home," we get a glimpse of LuLu's home life.

AND THERE IS BOTH ICHIRO WITH BROWN HAIR AND EYES AND HER MOM. AND LULU. IN THE SAME ROOM.

And yknow that's fine, EXCEPT-

Ichiro is a full-blooded Magiclica.

LuLu is a miscela

Both of them have powers

But for LuLu to be a miscela, her mother would have to be a Cipher.

Cipher-Magiclica relationships are illegal

So either at home LuLu and Ichiro pretend to be Ciphers (which STILL wouldn't make sense because LuLu is enrolled in Everston as a Magiclica?) or her mom is pretending to be a Magiclica, which is a pretty hard thing to pretend to be if you're not a Spero

And I'm 99% sure she doesn't know her daughter and husband are Spero because their appearances are different and they go by different names and in the scene they said they were going to a convention when they were actually going to the Spero Hideout

So I could say she knows and is alright with their illegal activity but I don't think that's the case.

So Ichiro, lying to your wife isn't good. I don't know HOW you're pulling it off, but when she finds out, you're chopped liver.

Oh wait you're already chopped liver you got owned by Sarah never mind

————————

Word count: 1020

To this day I still have these questions

#magiclicas theory #magiclicas #qutejakey #spero #ichiro what did you do to your daughter

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not-poignant · 7 years

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even though north and jack are both from the creches, i get the vibe that they weren't raised the same way? like maybe north is from a different part or they were much different in his day? cause pitch was like "there are no darkrooms in the creches" as if for a fact (probably got this info from someone who was FROM there, re: why he thought it was reliable info). 1/3

and also the fact that no one REALLY seems to understand the extent of Out Of His Depth jack is made to feel, like how he was basically conditioned during childhood to think that he's inherently less important as a peasant. which doesn't seem to be the same for north, who seems quite proud of his heritage. // he seems to sort of empathize with jack's ignorance of lune's inner workings, but he doesn't seem to fully grasp that it's almost been beaten into jack that the things he's been taught must be true or he might have focused on how jack feels personally about himself than just how he thinks of lune and the tsar? i'm sorry if i'm reading too much into things!!

Yeah, some awesome observations, anon. :D And now I’m gonna ramble about them, heh.

There’s a reason that when Jack says he’s an Overland, people/Jack have this reaction:

* ‘An Overland,’ another one said, derisive. ‘He’s one of the creche kids.’* ‘This young, unlikely soldier. An Overland at that, to give the peasants hope.’* He remembered his brown hair being shaved short a few times in his life, so that they could give the Overland creche children the delousing that they didn’t need, all because they were certain that anyone poor enough to be in the Overland creche had to be infected with crawling things.*‘I don’t get why [me having bruises is] a big deal all of a sudden. It’s not like this kind of stuff hasn’t happened all the time. I’m an Overland, remember?’* ‘You think it was easy for an Overland to get to where I got to?”* If they didn’t understand that he was just a peasant – a creche kid, an Overland, then how could he even explain it to them?* You know, with the whole me being useless and a peasant – like oh no not another Overland - and everything else.* (from North) ‘I would love to simply tell you my way of seeing the world, like it is what you should believe, but Jack, you are an Overland. The entire world has always told you how to think and what to think’

The upshot of all of this is that not all creches are created equal, and the Overland creche is the worst.

North came from the North creche, which focused on mechanics and industry (i.e. grooming children into these careers via unpaid/state labour). His creche did have a ‘quiet room’ (i.e. isolation) but North never saw the inside of it, and nor did anyone else he knew in his time there, because in most of the creches, children are raised once they’re weaned and still infants, and don’t have sibling attachments etc. to break the rules like Jack did.

The Overland creche is at the furthest populated reaches of Lune (before you’re going into uncharted waters and potential Asylum territory). Those children are raised to farm the least arable land with crops that have poor nutriment, and certain animals (like glacier goats, lol). Because the farms are so isolated from each other, and because no one wants to work in the Overland creche as a ‘team leader,’ it is actually possible to hide children from the creches for some time. So Jack was taken from his parents very late by creche standards - late enough to have a sister, and to have bonded to her. (None of this is in the story yet, and may never be in the story, though Toothiana knows).

Overlands typically never rise above their station. They never see the City of Lune - to them it’s like a fantasy, or a myth. They never see the Tsar except on coins and brightly coloured posters - and it’s the only access to bright colours they have. There are harsh weather considerations that they’re not equipped enough to deal with and so death from hypothermia etc. isn’t uncommon (like, there’s a reason Jack got the powers of winter).

And because they’re so far from the core of Lune, they’re also further from idk...general regulation? The punishments are more extreme, the team leaders are often the worst that Lune has to offer and are more likely to be unethical and do whatever they feel is necessary to create order. Because Overlands as adults are often more desperate for food / warmth / resources than even other creche kids-turned-adults, they are more likely to resort to situational crime. So they have a reputation - even among peasants - as being ‘criminal stock.’

Literacy is not taught beyond a basic ability to comprehend a farming manual, and numeracy is not taught beyond the ability to calculate land / seeds needed / etc. Crtical thinking is discouraged, and no kid is ever taught about free will, autonomy or agency as a positive thing. Free will is dangerous, it makes you more likely to disobey the Tsar and personally hurt Lune, y’know? (Whee).

Mortality rates are high, and infant mortality rates are very high. Jack pushing to become a Warrior as an Overland was not a decision that was encouraged, and he fought so hard for it. Technically, in a creche, you can choose to become a Warrior if you don’t want to you know, do whatever the creche specialises in. But the Overland creche is so under-resourced they strongly, strongly discourage it by any means necessary (which usually means increased discipline of the ‘that would be considered a human rights violation’ kind).

So when Jack says ‘You think it was easy for an Overland to get to where I got to?’ he really means that. It’s more than just... ‘oh but Overlands don’t become Warriors.’ It’s also that they’re discouraged from pursuing it as a career. So from the time his sister died, to the time he left the creche (at about 13/14) he had to fight tooth and nail to go to the Barracks.

So basically you’re spot on, anon, they definitely weren’t raised the same way (North and Jack). North had access to the City of Lune and was raised with more privilege by comparison, and had more education under his belt by the time he was ready to work as a mechanic or a Warrior (they happily trained him in both skills when he showed an interest). North even has the privilege that his name can be ‘North’ and he won’t be disparaged for it. Jack can’t have ‘Overland’ as a nickname, and it not damn his character. Toothiana says: ‘You can depend on a Jack. I’m not sure you can depend on a Jackson Overland.’ -> At the time I wanted readers to assume that you can’t depend on a Jackson Overland because he’s a troublemaker (as Jack assumes), but the reality is, Toothiana is making an observation about his heritage, essentially, and what names mean.

I’m not sure how much of this I’ll end up revealing in the story. This isn’t the story of ‘saving the Overland kids’ and Jack thinks of his upbringing as pretty normal because he knows no other. He knows other creche kids don’t have it as bad, but he’s internalised the message ‘we treat you this bad because you’re Overlands’ and it’s never occurred to him it could be other reasons. So he wouldn’t complain to someone about it, because that would be like revealing how awful he is fundamentally. You don’t go ‘they’re punishing me and it’s wrong’ if you believe you really deserve it. There’s a lot of reasons he feels he’s ‘made wrong’ you know? He’s more likely to think ‘they’re punishing me and I’m wrong.’

Anyway, yeah, I can ramble about this forever. I’ve thought a lot about the social structure of Lune. A lot of citizens are kind of...blind to it? Even North doesn’t really get what Jack’s lived through. He has no idea Overlands are discouraged from being Warriors, for example. No one would have taught him that, and he’s never met an Overland before to know - and he wouldn’t know what questions to ask anyway, and creche kids are encouraged to keep their upbringing pretty secret. The whole system is designed to keep people ignorant, and people communicate in ways that often facilitate that, even when they think of themselves as very open-minded and willing to be challenged.

Shutting up now. O.O

#asks and answers #TGATNW #TGATNW worldbuilding #The Golden Age that Never Was #institutionalised abuse #abuse #but yeah even though we may never learn all of this in the actual story #we will learn bits and pieces #and thanks for your posts anon #it was fun to write all this stuff out #*pets Jack quietly for all I put him through*#administrator Gwyn wants this in the queue #Anonymous

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