#tbh im not sure i cant handle that angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gweyson · 6 years

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how much would u hate me if i asked u to do every single uncommon question for an oc of ur choice?

the absolute madman he actually did it

im gonna put this under the cut sdjkfhsdjfsjkl also im answering for pascal because. Thats My Boy

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

he’s gotten really good at it since he had to start hiding from murder robots... but even before then he was never a super fidgety person so he could sit very still !

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

he’s good at pretending everything’s fine when it’s all actually Rather Shit so. yeah pretty easy

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

thinking mostly.... sometimes he’ll talk to someone and drift off from there but it depends on who’s on lookout or how quiet the group has to stay

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

he tries to remain suspicious of people he meets but at heart he’s too trusting for his own good tbh.... he does try to hold off on trusting stangers these days but hes still a little soft

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

yeah pretty easy. like it’s easy enough to get him to trust you in the first place but once you do something to fuck that up then good luck getting it back lmao

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

laws arent really. a thing anymore djkfhdljk but when they were he’d like... say laws are immovable and very needed and then do stuff that completely contradicted that view

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

cooking !! it reminds him of when he used to help his mum out with houseowrk/cooking. he. doesnt really like the feeling because it reminds him that he has no idea if his family is actually still alive or not :(

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

“stop playing in the dirt”

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

he doesnt swear heaps but he does enough that it’s not super shocking whenever he does. he sweras more the angrier/more agitated he gets

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

he’d regularly lie to his mum just so he could get out of the house and go to parties lol. he’s not super haunted by it or anything (& he was a pretty good kid otherwise so he figures he was allowed at least this one not great thing)

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

he’ll try to play along until he can figure stuff out but if he cant he’ll just go “what tf is happening”

12. How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

either gets someone to scratch it or uses like. a ruler or smth

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

he thinks he looks best in green but it’s... not his best colour

14. What animal do they fear most?

big dogs... scarey :(

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

he usually just says whatever comes to his mind tbh. idk how to properly descrive it but like... the way he talks makes him sound smart but not arrogant about it yknow. like you hear him talk and youre like “yeah this is a guy who knows what hes doing”

16. What makes their stomach turn?

not much tbh?? like before everything turned Awful he was studying forensic entomology so like. hes got a bit of an iron stomach lmao. the smell of rotting meat maybe

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

not really? if he does get embarrassed he’s pretty decent at hiding it

18. What embarrasses them?

when he’s the centre of attention in a big group and he can feel everyone staring at him and his face goes all red and aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA

19. What is their favorite number?

7 !!

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

he’d go on a really long tangent about it and possibly not even answer the question at hand tbh

21. Why do they get up in the morning?

to not die, mostly

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

he’ll become pretty aloof and just. not wanna talk. he’ll avoid the target of jealousy a bit as well oops

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

he’ll do everything in his power to one-up whatever’s making him envious. it rarely works

24. Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

he is comfortable talking about it !! really the only thing that ever stops him talking about it is if someone else is uncomfortable with it

25. What are their thoughts on marriage?

he likes the idea ! if he does get married though he wants to do it wayyyyy in the future he’s not ready to settle down

26. What is their preferred mode of transportation?

before everything went shit he preferred driving, now he walks everywhere

27. What causes them to feel dread?

robots. or when astrid is pissed

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

he says he’d prefer an unpleasant truth but when it actually comes time to deal with it he doesnt go too great lol

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

he tries... whether he succeeds is another question

30. Who do they most regret meeting?

[redacted for spoilers]

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

astrid !! as much as he loves everyine else in the group she’s the only one who could realistically protect him if something were to go wrong. shes just more secure

32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

not really ??

33. Could they be considered lazy?

nah not really !! he’s always been a hard worker

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

it follows him around for a loooooong time. whether it goes away or just fades into background noise really depends on the situation but it’s not easy for him

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

he always tries to be supportive !! unless it’s something like. morally disgusting then No but he tries to support his friends even if he thinks whateber theyre talking about is kinda dumb

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?

he just kinda waits it out !! when the world was Not Shit his friends would be regularly trying to set him up with people so he never had to work super hard for it :’)

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

i cant remember the name for it but he does the thing where like. he’ll associate thing a with thing b by finding something that connects them togehter? like a syllable in thing a sounds like thing b so. yeah. im good at explaining

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

either when astrid helped him bust out of the factory he was trapped working in or just miscellaneous memories of his mum & siblings

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?

he tends to ignore people’s flaws which can lead to issues

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

he tries to be self critical but he’s not really self critical enough for it to make a solid difference. usually he has to be told what he’s doing before he consciously realises it

41. How do they feel about children?

he likes them !! he was the oldest of a lot of siblings so he knows how to handle them & he’s pretty good with them

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

his end goal is to stop robots killing everything & for everything to go back to normal so id say he wants that pretty fuckin bad

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

“hey pascal are you into--” “yes”

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS (I wasnt sure if you wanted me to do these ones too so. shrug emoji)

A) Why are you excited about this character?

i made him for my comic which. i will start one day fdklgjdlkjgd..... also hes just fun to develop ! i gave him a bunch of traits i rlly like and also i made him like bugs a lot so. i am biased

B) What inspired you to create them?

uh. needed characters for the comic hehe.....i cant remember the exact process i went thru when making him?? i wanted someone who was close to astrid/who she could trust, plus i had the idea for a backstory (i think. like i said i cant remember my exact process)

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

not really, i came up with the concept before i actually made his character

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

he’s always had the same appearance !! even though i should probably change it a little because he looks different every time i try drawing him but shhhhh

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

hes someone i would think is super cool but then. would never actually talk to jkdsfhsdjkhfsdjk. he’d be nice to my face but i’m....not sure what he’d genuinely think of me oops

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

THATS MY FACKING BOY BABEYEYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also excited bc i have angst planned ^____^

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

he’s too gullible and willing to trust strangers. he should know better but he’s too much of an optimist for his own good !!

H) What trait do you admire most?

he’s always able to put on a happy face when he’s feeling awful because he doesnt want anyone to worry & he doesnt wanna bring anyone down !! he’s always thinking ahout everyone else before himself

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

i dont know what this means..... yes??

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

uhh technically not ?? in his original concept he was gonna be in a poly relationship with 2 others but i cut the other members of the relationship. not because of pascal it’s because i thought the group would get too big and like. they value stealth and sneakiness. plus it’s harder for big groups to travel undetected

#im too lazy tp check for typos fdgjdlkjDFLGJDLFJGDK #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK. I AM DEAD #ask #ocs #daudside-r #one day ill start this comic. i was gonna aim for this month but. hm #anyway i lvoe my boy #and also all my kids #ok bye its 2.30am

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doriansbutt · 6 years

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gaming meme

im wayy late to this but ye so i was tagged by @karanan and im tagging whoever else wants to do this bc...yeah im late to the party as usual

1. Favourite game from the last 5 years?

Oh, man. SWTOR and Dragon Age for sure.

2. Most nostalgic game?

Star Wars Battlefront II (the original one aka probably my favorite game of all time i literally still remember the cheats on ps2 lol)

3. Game that deserves a sequel?

hmmm I would love another Portal game. Not necessarily a sequel since I’m not really sure where that would go, but another game in the Portal franschise would be excellent.

4. Game that deserves a remaster?

Dragon Age: Origins, for sure. Or KotOR 1 and 2!

5. Favourite game series?

Dragon Age. which is not a surprise at all probably.

6. Favourite genre?

Probably RPGs, including MMORPGs.

7. Least favourite genre?

ooh fps games along the line of call of duty. im just so bad at them and theyre all the same

8. Favourite song from a game?

ooh shit hmm...i love the mando’a songs from republic commando...uhm god i just fkin love video game music i have a lot of favorites....

9. Favourite character from a game?

you cant make me pick!

10. Favourite ship from a game?

dorian/inq, definitely. i just cant help myself when it comes to dorian.

11. Favourite voice actor from a game?

ooh shit i have a weakness for the male agent in swtor when he has an american/”republic” accent....is that weird? does that count? it does now.

12. Favourite cutscene?

....scenes where people get hurt? should i admit that? i am the angst master general, after all....im blanking right now on like actual favorites, though...but a lot of ffxv ones were really good!! i cried!!

13. Favourite boss?

GLaDOS was a fun boss. the boss battles may have not been super memorable, but as a boss thru the games she was good. Also Ardyn in ffxv. He was just not your typical boss and I had no idea what to expect from him which I liked.

14. First console?

playstation 2. we had an atari but never used it.

15. Current console or consoles?

i mostly use pc, but i also have an xbone bc my laptop is...in bad shape and probably should definitely not be used for gaming anymore but does that stop me?? no absolutely not.

16. Console you want?

i would love a switch. or a vr headset though im not sure how id handle that with my sensitivity to just everything w migraines

17. Place from a game that you’d like to visit?

oh man i’d love to visit thedas. or aya in mass effect andromeda. or skyrim.

18. Place from a game that you’d like to live in?

hmmmm maybe somewhere in thedas i guess

19. Ridiculous crossover that would never happen but would be super fun?

hmmm idk like dragon age and swtor lol

20. Book that would make a good game?

ooh uhm what about the chaos walking books? i think thatd be interesting.

21. Show/Movie that would make a good game?

hmm hmm hmmmmmm i think coraline would make an interesting game. like you play as coraline (or even like just a kid and you can pick an “origin” so to speak) and you discover the beldam’s world etc etc it seems cool at first but then things seem weird etc you gotta figure out whats up w this dimension and defeat the beldam idk i think thatd make a cool game.

22. Games you want to play?

uhm idrk tbh im kinda picky about games and im p good with what i’ve got rn

23. Have you gotten 100% completion in a game?

ugh no. i was working on it w dai but some of that is just gathering shit or grinding like fuck and thats all the achievements i have left. i mean ive probably got something 100% but idk. im so close to 100% in skyrim too...

24. Have you cried over a game?

uh absolutely. i cried several times over ffxv most recently.

25. What power-up or ability would you want IRL?

im stealing this answer bc fuck yes the force would be sweet af

#who let this butt speak #long post #gaming meme #tagged me

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kaertrolde · 7 years

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thanks @maarrow for the tag! :)

1. Coke or Pepsi: Coke 2. Disney or DreamWorks: Disney 3. Coffee or Tea: Tea 4. Books or Movies: hard to choose, i love reading but its hard to find stories i really get hooked on. but i also like to watch movies, usually i will watch the same few over and over 5. Windows or Mac: Windows, just bc thats what ive always used, although i love my iphone 6. Dc or Marvel: i dont know enough about either to really pick 7. Xbox or Playstation: PlayStation since birth 8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: Dragon age, although i do love certain parts of mass effect and the characters. the story and gameplay for me is just much better in dragon age. 9. Night Owl or Early Riser: Night Owl 10. Cards or Chess: Cards, when i practice chess tho i do have fun although there really isnt many people i know to play with 11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla for sure 12. Vans or Converse: VAns, yeee boi 13. Lavellan, Trevelyn, Cadash, or Adaar: Cadash 4 lyfe 14. FLUFF or Angst: Fluff 15. Beach or Forest: um yikes, beachs, both, idk hard to pick 16. Cats or Dogs: i love them both but im a dog person at heart 17. Clear skies or Rain: Clear skies def 18. Cooking or Eating out: Depends on where, or the complexitiy of the meal im cooking, i guess take out tho 19. Spicy Food or mild food: Spicy 20. Halloween/ Samhain or solstice/ Yule/ Christmas: Christmas 21. Would you rather forever be a little bit too cold or a little bit too hot: although i hate the cold and winter probably cold bc when i overheat i get super sweaty and light headed 22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: maybe the ability to absorb knowledge way faster and be able to learn and do things much quicker, but maybe as a basic super power, omniligualism (being able to understand any language), or force fields. healing also seems cool 23. Animation or Live Action: Animation 24. Paragon or Renegade: Paragon mostly, i can go renegade if i think the character is really out of line tho. its hard for me to be mean in video games 25. Baths or Showers: Both, depends on the day 26. Team Cap or Team Iron man: Team iron man, i really dont care and have seen like only like 2% of the movies, hes just cuter lol 27. Sci-fi or Fantasy: Fantasy but Sci-fi is a close second 28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: i have many but i cant think of so many right now but one of my current faves is, well uh its from a poem (by dylan thomas) but,

“do not go gentle into that good night. rage, rage against the dying of the light”

29. YouTube or Netflix: Netflix 30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: im not really fond of either but if i had to pick then probably Harry Pothead 31. When did you feel accomplished: when I get planned tasks done quickly and efficiently 32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Star Trek duh 33. Paper back books or hardcover: i do like having both but i prefer softback bc they are easier to handle imo 34. Horror or Rom com: Horror probably 35. Tv shows or Movies: Movies probably 36. Favourite animal: dogs, coyotes, hyenas, and elephants 37. Favourite genre of music: folksy/punk/alt/ rock 38. Least favourite book: i dont know if i have one tbh 39. Favourite season: late spring/early summer, but summer 40. Sparkly or Shiny: Shiny AND Sparkly 41. Favourite character in a tv show: geez um probably Leslie Knope 42. Do have/want any tattoos, and if you do what are they: i dont yet but i have several ideas including an dedication to my dog, something star trek, an astronaut, flower dedications for my grandmas

#about #jessica just stop

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lesbian1oser · 7 years

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okay so I was tagged by @alyciasclvrke, so here we go

rules: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions

1. coke or pepsi: i don’t drink dark pop, but uh diet pepsi and spiced rum

2. disney or dreamworks: ok not sure if i have much of an opinion tbh

3. coffee or tea: coffee, but lactose free milk with 2 sugars

4. books or movies: movies i guess but i love a good book

5. windows or mac: mac, i dont think i can ever go back

6. dc or marvel: deadpool. just deadpool

7. x-box or playstation: wow how is this a question. obvs playstation

8. dragon age or mass effect: mass effect

9. night owl or early riser: night owl for sure omg

10. cards or chess: cards by a landslide

11. chocolate or vanilla: chocolate but i like mixes as well

12. vans or converse: i dont own either but my girlfriend has some pretty sick vans i believe

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: who...?

14. fluff or angst: fluff my heart cant take angst

15. beach or forest: beach in the summer, forest in the fall

16. dogs or cats: cats but i really want an italian greyhound

17. clear skies or rain: i like the smell of rain but def prefer clear skies

18. cooking or eating out: eating out.... 😉

19. spicy food or mild food: mild but i can handle spice really well

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: christmas dinner and halloween night

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too hot. my life is already an eternity of being a little too cold so i might as well switch it up

22. if you could have any superpower, what would it be?: invisibility, or invincibility. being able to be good at anything would be cool too

23. animation or live action: live action

24. paragon or renegade: wat

25. baths or showers: showers but occasionally i just really need a good soak. especially with my girlfriend

26. team cap or team ironman: i dont follow this so i dont have an opinion

27: fantasy or sci-fi: i used to really like dr who but thats about it

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: uhhh just from memory? i like the quote “dont worry, just breathe. if its meant to be, itll find a way” but thats all i can remember rn sorry

29. netflix or youtube: youre really asking me to pick? no

30. harry potter or percy jackson: harry potter, never got into percy jackson that much

31. when you feel accomplished: well a great example is this: so im doin a placement rn for college at a childcare centre and felt like i was having a rough day and not doin so well and it was taking forever for me to put a child down (like... naptime not murder) and one of the ECE’s told me i did a great job. i just laughed a nervous lil laugh and said thanks while looking down. felt great though, i was ecstatic and couldnt stop smiling

32. star wars or star trek: star twraerks... idk no opinion

33. paperback or hardback: paperback, i always lose the hardback sleeves

34. horror or rom-com: rom-com im the biggest fuckin sap for a good rom-com

35: tv shows or movies: tv shows for sure

36. spotify or pandora: spotify!!

37. zootopia or inside out: zootopia though i havent seen either

38. favourite book: don’t really have any fiction books im reading rn but im super into 99: Stories of the Game

39. favourite flower: fuck idk, i want a favourite flower but i dont have one

40. what field of study are you in (or aspire to be in): Early Childhood Education :)

41. favourite subject: child development, health & safety & nutrition, nutrition & diety (non child related), budgeting, interpersonal development

42. gale or peeta: peeta i guess

43. favourite disney princess: mmm.... idk, can i say lilo

44. only child or nah: nah

45. what do you wish you were better at: time management, managing my depression and anxiety (lol), not asking stupid questions

46. if you work, where do you work: dominos, best western is waiting for me to come back too

im not gonna tag 46 people so if you see this, you’re tagged

#questions #tagged by #if you read this youre tagged #shit i post

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lilietsblog · 7 years

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Strike Witches episode 1: first impression

so im gonna try strike witches: the unknown anime i chose to not familiarize myself with the premise beyond 'something like fighter pilots i think?' that i picked up by osmosis

oh hey look a discarded doll. def war is hell vibes here

cant say im a fan of the visuals from the first several seconds, the color scheme and everything seems kinda bland? the only reason im making this observation is bc i had to pause to let it load tho

oh look Very Noticable CGI

(i have a headache and am vaguely nauseous and basically am Very Cranky as a result)

man, there aren't even characters yet. it's been almost two minuets and there still aren't people for me to relate too that's a crime by which i dont mean that literally but just 'this might not be the thing i want to watch right now'

oh hey monsters okay this is better than just straight up war is hell between humans omfg in 1939 subtle 'we wanna play with ww2 era toys but without bringing up the fact japan was on the side of nazi germany' i assume sure im onboard if thats the premise

magitech??? magitech!!!

that's. their legs. in those things. are they evoking Baba Yaga and her travels in a stupa bc thats okay panty shots i think imma quit at the end of this episode

oh i. just realized this is the movie that actually makes it a bit better and gives me more hope lets try the actual first episode first

ok the first shot is of the sky and not a discarded doll that's already better

holy shit whatever this video player is it allows to load external captions from pc or url. technology progresses at an incredible pace

i love that the fighter planes are clearly shown attacking the vortex first 9u9

opening has so many girls wearing shoes but no pants. im just. this entire device's entire point is clearly to fanservice that does not mean this is bad character-wise yet ofc. i watched and liked fucking rosario+vampire. this show has a chance yet. lets see what its got

the op song is nice its also very straightforward about aesthetic of this show being 'girls without pants in absolutely non-sexual situaitons' and i can respect that

and oh look it actually does start with characters interacting right after exposition that's what im talking about

okay so now might be a good time to mention that the first context i heard of strike witches was uh. misogynist porn. like the kind that doesnt go for 'look at these relatable characters being kinky' but for 'consider: what if powerful girls got hurt instead'. so thats the context in my brain and i want to fucking overwrite it

military uniforms+panties are definitely an aesthetic and im incredibly amused by it okay every single girl here doesnt wear pants sure that actually looks like a swimsuit rather than panties and thats nice

also they are characterizing the protagonist! like i know thats not much to ask for but im going into this straight off blogging about madoka and this is just such a relief! she is kind and brave and plucky and talks gently to a scared kitten and I love her also she Does Not Think Things Through shes like the typical shonen protagonist but a girl. im in

Yoshika her name is Yoshika

and her motivation is her dad but eh sure whatever I kind of like the touch of 'it was classified military information' not sure why

theres nothing about Yoshika that qualifies her other than her personality and magic powers huh

yep thats a swimsuit aww shes a healer!

I love that the military observers rush to help as soon as they see something is off theres work and then theres helping emergencies

oh!!!! her mom and grandma are around!!! and teaching her!!! im happy!!!

Yoshika why is all that a 'but' to 'you should learn to control your power' i dont think there was any subtext of 'you shouldnt even try' there? or was it? maybe i should just trust her for now

awww Yoshika actually doesn't want to go to war <3 but this woman thinks she will because she wants to help people and she'll help people the most there I I like this ;~; I'm so happy I like this I love Yoshika's 'fuck war' instinct I love her drive to help everyone and in fact the trope of magical healer almost killing themselves to help a patient (despite it being professionally inadvisable) is actually the thing i made my very first rp character sooo :> you know. stuff something is fishy about that letter. its no coincidence it was sent just now... I love Sakamoto and her A+ social skills HA HA HA HA HA also huh... she's not in on whatever's up with that letter

Yoshika so uh alright she'll take her without enlisting her huh interesting but uh what about school I guess military and witches can override all that and it kind of makes sense to me thematically

'Britannia' gee how familiar that name sounds and i dont mean geographically

so hm could Yoshika be a military doctor without actually enlisting? how do the formalities work there i like that Sakamoto doesnt question her dislike of all things military like its unexpected but mostly bc Sakamoto's got a one track mind that has a hard time expecting anything other than what she wants to happen and beyond that its like 'sure ok a conscientous objector got it' even though its weird how there would be conscientous objectors to fighting MONSTERS its not like theres an alternative to not fight I mean also clearly Yoshika is a kid and theres room left for that in other characters' treatment of her opinions and I love that they dont get Offended that she doesn't understand and Have Proper Respect well Sakamoto doesn't at least not sure about how other people will react

man that raccoon on the road sure was convenient though. like i first thought it was Sakamoto's deliberate tactic to gauge Yoshiko's powers. she was opening her eye to i guess do just that visually and then the raccoon appeared and it just felt very natural that one follows from the other? is this foreshadowing or are the writers of this anime just unfamiliar with the concept of 'subtle' i dont mind if its the latter tbh

(im writing a ton of reflection bc the episode broke after i tried to rewind a little and i decided to download it after all, and its doing that)

so far, this show seeems nicely straightforward and fast paced. like, really straightforward. yoshiko's introduction? saving a kitten. making a ww2 era anime without difficult shit? monsters attacked in 1939. motivations and revelations are handled with all the subtlety of a hammer to the face, from the raccoon to the letter. even fanservice has the same charming quality that makes me actually be okay with the entire point of their outfits being gratuitous panty shots. making sense and having pretense is for the weak. this anime knows what it wants to be and is going straight for that. i respect that approach

also its p clear that what it wants is to be character driven and its been Delivering on that since its only half episode one and i already Love two characters personally and also some supporting cast (Yoshiko's entire family)

and like you know that in some other show GASP MIGHT MY DAD BE STILL ALIVE would be a reveal saved for like. the halfway point. but here its literally the starting point spurring everything into action bc all other motivation was just too slow to get the character where she was supposed to go. good job yo

there's this trope where the main character doesn't want to go into the main conflict (Refusal of the Call)... and very often it's handled by either 1) letting them wallow until everything goes to shit showing how wrong they were or 2) immediately conveniently wrecking everything so they have no choice now I uh. am really glad this show went a different way if just joining the conflict isnt a good enough motivation GET A BETTER ONE and IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE ANGST (and it doesn't have to be romance, either!!! why are those two the only things writers seem to be able to think of jfc)

...okay I was more like two thirds through the episode rather than half but my points stand

okay so I think what just happened was Yoshiko realized the parallel between herself and her dad leaving and got scared and her response was to comfort other people and I love that <3

I love that Sakamoto doesn't have a doubt in her mind that Yoshiko isn't going to be useless and will definitely help and also comes to her to discuss this explicitly <3

man I love Sakamoto and her absolute lack of social graces and sense of when enough is enough

and the fact that Yoshiko is working chores now and seems to enjoy it too <3

and it's when it's established that she's part of the team that Sakamoto starts showing off <3 she clearly has a dedicated well thought out campaign of convincing Yoshiko going on and its borne out not of manipulation but of clear conviction that she is right and she just has to show the girl what she doesnt know yet <3

ahaha of course showing off worked <3

so I paused and imma make a bet with myself on whether Sakamoto is going to tell her 'if you liked that you can join' right now or leave that unsaid subtly my bet is that she is, bc subtlety is an entirely foreign concept to this wonderful human being, and if i lose im going to make my bed right now not even waiting for the end of the episode let's see

oh she starts with education huh, this is not widely known? i had no idea anyway lets see if she says the thing

I love that it's her dad and it's this kind thing of 'this is what he said he was going to do, and he did' <3

huh so that was slightly more subtlety than I expected, she offered her to try them rather than trying to recruit her directly so I lost the bet gotta go make the bed now

BAM DONE YAY GOOD SELF CARE

hey more main characters!!!! I love all of you already!!! you have personality and discuss things that make sense!!! including their outfits!!! I love them!!!! the parasol girl is my favorite but also the tiny girl and the red-haired girl they are all my favorites!!!

omfg a month of travel and half a day early Yoshiko gets impatient I love her

YOU ARE A NONCOMBATANT she said with the steely confidence of a commanding officer <3

I love so much that Sakamoto respects Yoshiko's boundaries re: fighting???

OMG THE ENDING SONG I LOVE IT

I love the upbeat and airy tone this show manages to have despite the premise??? like I had trepidations at the start bc I dislike doom&gloom-heaviness of 'war is hell' narratives and I'm not a WW2 affictionado. but instead of shiny boom boom toys and angst it's all character adorableness and so much sky??? even the lack of pants ends up feeling like freedom this is the anime we all deserve

#strike witches #anime #liliet watches strike witches

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heydragonfly · 7 years

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rules: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. I was tagged by the friggin cutie @zacbartowskii who is super adorable and you should all follow her

1. coke or pepsi: coke i have taste buds

2. disney or dreamworks: disney i guess??? like dreamworks used to be super great but in recent memory i dont think theyve made much good stuff???? but my memory is shitty so like dont count on it

3. coffee or tea: i have a strong hate dislike against shitty flavored water tea, so coffee. i dont drink coffee that much, only when like i go to a cafe with a friend or i stayed up super late to finish homework or smth

4. books or movies: my gut says books but tbh i just really love both???? like books are so immersive and nice but movies are sure as hell time savers and just get to the emotions quickly and idk i just have a lot of love for both

5. windows or mac: honestly i have a mac and it cant handle anything thats more than a minor video game or writing so like I’d say windows other than the fact that I’ve never owned a windows computer so like. mac, but begrudgingly

6. dc or marvel: marvel i guess but ive gotten more into dc and its pretty darn cool

7. x-box or playstation: xbox i guess, but i p much solely play games on my laptop

8. dragon age or mass effect: mass effect! mass effect! mass effect!! i love mass effect so much, the first game was so good. I started the second one a long time ago and i just have had no time to finish it which suuucks and then i got caught up in other games, but i really wanna finish the series, especially before mass effect andromeda comes out ( also to dragons age defense i have never played it, so i cant give a good judgement of it)

9. night owl or early riser: night owl but i wish i was an early riser desperately

10. cards or chess: i play cards so much more often but chess tbh???? its got a special place in my heart

11. chocolate or vanilla: vanilla im lame lmao

12. vans or converse: i dont fuckgin know i dont own either i dont think i ever have honestly i wear boots

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: what?? the fuck????????

14. fluff or angst: angst but like. not shitty type of toxic angst.

15. beach or forest: forest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love trees!

16. dogs or cats: i hate this question so much i love both equally!!! let me love my pets equally in peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

17. clear skies or rain: rainnnnnn it makes my anxiety disappear

18. cooking or eating out: eating out its so nice, like cooking is great but eating out is more social and i get to go to the places around town which i love

19. spicy food or mild food: mild food im too white for anything else

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: christmas is rad

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: deeeefinitely a little too cold. I live in a Hot Soup State and it tires me

22. if you could have any superpower, what would it be?: freezing time!!!! i could learn so many things and get so many things done and just god itd be so useful

23. animation or live action: animation!!! it has such a warm place in my heart

24. paragon or renegade: paragon, but like, ive seen these used in different contexts so it could mean various things

25. baths or showers: showers baths make me feel gross

26. team cap or team ironman: honestly i really dont care about most superhero stuffs anymore but team cap i guess like tony is gr8 but i love steve

27: fantasy or sci-fi: i love sci fi but fantasy!!!!!!!!! i love writing fantasy its fun

28. do you have three or four favorite quotes, if so what are they: uhhHHHHH well i have so many like fave lines of poetry but i dont think those count so like

“ Ask yourself this question: Will it matter one year from now?” - Anonymous

“ Character is what you do when nobody is looking.” - John Wooden

“ Be the change you want to see in the world.” - Ghandi ( v basic quote but so, so important )

“ If you’re going through hell, keep going.” - Churchill

“ They called me the hyacinth girl.” - T.S Eliot from The Waste Land ( I couldn’t resist lol)

“ Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.” - e.e cummings from somewhere i have never travelled ( from my fave poet and poem so like. i had to)

29. netflix or youtube: ohhhhhh both are so goood i cant choose. netflix overall is better but the niches of youtube are so niiiiice

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: so like i cant answer this question and if you put a gun to my head i still could not answer it

31. when you feel accomplished: whenever i write a lot or i make my friends really happy

32. star wars or star trek: star wars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! star trek is cool but i just prefer star wars so much more

33. paperback or hardback: meh both are nice. like alright i realize the point of this whole thing is for me to have to pick one and i havent picked one for like a lot of these but whatever no ones dying over it

34. horror or rom-com: horror but like. Good Story horror not Slasher Murder Fucking Disgusting horror. altho romcoms can be p p p good ( i love you’ve got mail and ten things i hate about you)

35: Tv shows or movies: movies tbh, most tv shows are dragged out and have lots of filler. the only show i can think of that does not do that is GOT.

36. spotify or pandora: spotify definitely, even though their ads are satan spawns its still much better

37. zootopia or inside out: oh god these were both such amazingly well made and powerful movie but im gonna have to go with zootopia

38. favorite book: ‘Love Letters to the Dead’ by Ava Delaira, ‘Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe’ by Benjamin Alire-Saenz and ‘The Outsiders’ by S.E Hinton

39. favourite flower: bluebells and hyacinths

40. what field of study are you in (or aspire to be in): I wanna go into creative writing, but if not that then astrophysics or whatever field of study you be to be an astronaut

41. favorite subject: World History is my fave, its so interesting

42: Would you rather have to move every 2 weeks, or have to stay within a 2 hour radius of your home forever?: so as someone whose had to move a lot I can firmly say the two hour radius thing. having to move that often sounds exhausting and just sad.

My question: Would you try and save a stranger even though it has a chance of you dying?

I think im supposed to tag like 43 people but thats so stupid so just @ladyophelia @weve-broken-down @marmorakeith @lol-fandoms-freak @read-a-round and idfk im tired and lazy ya’ll dont have to do this at all but if theres someone who does want to do it and hasnt been tagged then here, im tagging u

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otomeduck · 6 years

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i'm bored HAHAH lol it's a saturday morning,, i woke up unexpectedly early at like 7am ??! it's nearing 9am now HAHAH maybe i should try to do something productive to start off the day ~~ i don't know what to do though LOL

it's so unexpected that i woke up this early bcs i expected myself to wake up at 11am or something HAHAH now i'm at a loss, pondering how to spend my remaining time HAHAHA.

i'm legit so bored omg hahaha what should i do right now LOL errrrmmm ugh since i've so much time to kill i might as well watch anime LOL ok i'll be doing that hahahah bless

hakuouki reimeiroku time hehehehehe 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 i cant wait ☺☺☺ pity it's the last ep though 😔😔😔😔 yikes i feel so jittery thinking about it HAHAHA

I've got bad vibes from this episode lol i got a feeling dat the shinsengumi men r plotting sth to kill serizawa or something and it hurts me

I knew it i knew it i predicted & forseen this coming. Ugh why lol. Why do something like this @ hiji & friends ?!?!?!? Omggg wtf. The aizu domain higher ups r all so sneaky ok first the water of life or whatever that stupid potion is called. Now ordering them to rid off serizawa? What insanity. Serizawa brought this bunch so far wtf. Omg im cringing ugh this is not even ugh

What kind of last episode is this what the fuck lol i can't help crying what the fuck omg what is this lololol wtf how could it have ended this way ????? This is so unbelievable and unconceivable i am about to punch somebody's guts out lmao wtf

I still can't believe this is the last episode like i can't believe ???? What kind of ending is this ??? Wtf????omg

Wtf im in so much pain watching this wtf omg ok fine what???? What???? WHAT???????????????????????????????????? so ryunosuke gets separated from the rest of the shinsengumi men??? is that FAIR ???? OH MY FUCKING GOD IM IN SO MUCH HURT

Ok great my bro just saw me in a bawling mess lmao but what kind of ending is this omg fck nooooooo omg

Omg this is so bad and painful for my heart i cant wtf is thisss skinaiwjqow wtf????? Omg wtf....ajwjajwjwjjw omg 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 heartwreching bittersweet ending ????? Wtf???? I cant believe ibuki is alone from now wtf like wtf friendless ok wtf 😭😭😭😭😭😭 wtf 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 serizawa wasnt the despicable guy i thought he was????? Wtf???? Ugh i'm so done and unhappy i mean i'm pretty sure after he became the rasetsu he would be able to kill off sannan and everyone else who were ganging up on them. But he didn't. I got that sensing.

IT SUCKS. HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE KILLED. Wtf? And ibuki?!?@??@?@,omg wtf ok wtf????????? Omg...... ok fine he survived but hes all alone now wtf.....he's back where he first started, just that now he wants to live.........

............

And ya there's chizuru at the end but lol. Ugh. I'm so done i liked the 2 female characters of this season so much. Ugh.... i cant. I cant. Why do they listen to the aizu orders so readily?????wtf?????? Is it not against their principles or.....?????? ???? I need to seek some understanding about this. To some extent they let ibuki live but it's so cruel, the way they parted ????fck and my ship for heisuke and ibuki was so strong ??? Omfg.

It is so hurtful to even type and process everything. I can't. I can't understand or comprehend anything (just like ibuki) and it's so sadddddd omg what kind of ending is this,,,,,,, ugh omg ...... ok wow time flies now it's 10am and i need to leave my home in 15minutes. I am still super conflicted and done over this ending.

Come on skwakwjw 0 healing omg this just shown how shinsengumi men hardened themselves for the future omg wtf it's more grim than positive for me ??? Okita became the "sword" (more like killer) for shinsengumi omg so twisted and hijikata decided to be the devil commander and kondou toughened his resolve and sannan proved himself to have plenty of willpower while harada & saito shown themselves to be guys with very high eq while heisuke affirmed his set of values while shinpachi has let others seen him as someone who is trustworthy for shinsengumi.

I realise more than a plot progression, this season serves to let us see how the characters in hakuouki have grown? Character development? Bc the characters that appeared in this season eg serizawa they dont play any role afterwards. So they were simply put in this season to portray the character growth of ultimately, the shinsengumi.

I still got bad vibes from the bakufu like the authorities r so sneaky i cant ????? I dont get it ???? But ok. Im just like ryunosuke lol unable to get anything. But its ok. Ugh the life in japan before is so cruel with wars and stuff? What even? Its so heartbreaking to watch?

........

I love ibuki so much i really do. Inoue is a really lovely old dude as well. :----((((( im glad i watched this season, but at the same time im going to be so pissed at the ending for a long, long time....... ..... :(((

Unfair unfair unfairrrr :(( ok i know life isnt fair but the ending is not even lighthearted ok omg ok fine i mean what was i expecting??? Look at how they decided to end the season 2 anyway lol everyone dying LOL what, i couldnt have possibly expected a wholesome ending for a historical anime right ???? Ha ha ha.

Im so pained. Fml. This is a wreck im feeling so awful i cant :((((((( omg???? I mean in a sense i got to know more about each of the characters' past (except for harada heisuke shinpachi sannan idk ok fine i only got to know about the past of a few shinsengumi men) so ya i got to know some of them better through this season.... but it's still so painful omg the era back then is so painful ugh :((

😭😭😭😭😭 i got a feeling im going to be so attached so im going to read up about the characters of this season. On hakuouki wiki or something.

Ok fine lol now i know. He is an original character role created for the storyline and does not exist historically. Ugh no wonder lol. #all planned to get him gone when the main season starts 😒😒😒😒😒 ughhhh hmph......

Gah skkwankwkaw oume was such a loveable character lol i really wanted to see more of her????? But ok.... ugh... fml.... lololol ;; 12 eps lol junna what did u expect. Ha ha ha. #broken lol

I feel so uncomfortable akeianwkwj i want a fluffy ending bcs of my personalityyy ughhh dksnejjwjjjwwb dying lol out of temptation i decided to read about okita's character (bc i love him yeah????but he seemed so coldhearted this season) and i was reminded of the BLOODY hekketsuroku season which was so bad omg i was so pained just seeing okita bæ bedridden ???? Omg ??? Fck this definitely categorises under "angst" right????? Wow ouch ugh omg when my character baes feel pain so do i ok??? Ugh skwksiwjwej

Sighs ighs igh. Omg hakuouki ssl looks so nice lmao hahaha wtf souji's obsession is smartphone photography and image editting???? That sounds so hilarious lmao hahaha omg 10/10.

Omg so annoying lol am i the only one who cant handle drilling noises bcs omg at where i live i keep hearing drilling sounds and its so deafening ugh im going to slap someone LOL anyway im so tempted to play hakuouki ssl omg lol it looks so nice. Well i guess thats it for hakuouki reimeiroku :((( now i can go back to watching hakuouki sekkaroku HAHA i stopped that midway last time. I will resume....... my pain for hakuouki shall remain for eternity LMAO hahah <///////3 i feel like someone just slashed my heart lol it could be the swords of any of the shinsengumi men tbh.

Im still maddened like ibuki learnt swords skills from saitou but the results of it were not visibly displayed in the anime????? Udjajjwnaja so many questions not answered but i guess it's also a blank plate that allows us to imagine for what happens in the future for ibuki i guess. He's so precious. He deserves a good life ;; mxjankwnsjqnajw

Sjwjqjqjq ok hahah aft talking so much im about to run late for my school group project oops hahah and the bus is taking forever to come too aaahhh hahah ok ok nsjqjjw :)) ok although i complained so much, i still dont regret watching hakuouki reimeiroku a single bit. It was inspirational, awesome and 💯💯💯 hehehe. Im thankful i watched it actually :)) 😊😊 hahah hopefully i dont burst into tears when i see my friend later as i tell her all about this amazing anime with a melodramatic ending hahah

My eyes r so sore i look just like a zombie lmao hahahahah slwkwwiwkwj hakuouki reimeiroku ep 12 wad a blast :))))

#hakuouki spoilers

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lesoleilxjulien · 6 years

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life in pink: the aftermath.

TBH Jerome probably tries to tell him that they should stop in a small moment of clarity. Against his lips would he murmur "we shouldn't-" but the words die in the back of his throat when Juliens hips move and their tongues brush together, his mind turning hazy again. and oh my god. He'd realize and Jerome is still asleep but on the verge of waking up- the sun melts through the window panes and into the bedroom and it dances in front of his eyelids forcing him to awaken. Jerome's vision is all blurry with the aftermath of intoxication burning the edges of his brain and it takes a while for him to realize Julien lays next to him. And that Julien lays next to him /naked/. It dawns on him that something happened as he looks at him and it happened in a drunken haze when self control was at a minimum. He'd tense, instant regret settling right in the pit of his stomach. Like he tries so hard to keep Julien just that bit distant. He already treats him like someone he loves, he already allows him to get so close, the lack of physical intimacy kept him from giving the full package without saying I love you. Because he knows how he gets when he is intimate with someone he loves. He knows he gets talkative. He knows he pours everything in it. And he never wanted to touch Julien like this because he knows things would shift. The teasing and tension behind their friendship wouldn't be just friendly anymore, or, be pushed to friendly skinship, it would mean something then, something different. He'd be faced with the dilemma of not being able to tell him he loves him but also unable to assure Julien is not just another name in a sea of many, that he's special. He'd be faced with the question if Julien wanted him, just his body, or he regrets this mistake. But now it happened and everything he wanted lays far forgotten in the moments of blissful intimacy his drunken self experienced as now everything unwanted hits him like a stack of bricks. He can't remember much in the moment. He doesn't remember how far they went, what he said, why Julien allowed it to happen. He just feels the sting of scratches on his skin, tastes the flavours of liquor and /Julien/ on his tongue and it gives him the questions his hungover head is not able to handle. Oh my god. Jerome would want to bolt out of the bedroom so fast. Like his hand would slide off Juliens stomach after they'd have this staring contest that wordlessly says /this shouldn't have happened/. And he throws on some boxerbriefs, wanting to escape. But either Julien calls out his name or he just turns around and he stops. Freezing just three steps away from the edge of the bed. And he looks at Julien. "What did we do." WOWWW. ok OK. I FEEL PAIN. (also sorry not sorry but i thought. during it jerome tells him he loves him but its against his skin and its muffled and julien is too consumed in rolling his hips and he's way too drunk to hear. jerome forgets he even said it as a groan rips from his throat and sORRY nOT sORRY) and wow. Jerome leaves for Indonesia a few days later and if Julien watches the honeymoon episode he just gets greeted with a Jerome who looks totally out of it. He's not himself. Or, well, he's not his public self. And it's strange. During the days in Indonesia he pieces together parts of what happened that night too and even though he can't place everything, he remembers how he felt. He remembers how Julien felt. Scenes of the night flashes through his mind during the honeymoon, leaving him breathless. And oh catch him zoning out during activities and Jiyong having to pull him out of it. MULTIPLE TIMES. And Yoonah was there too and she's known Jerome since before debut and he's acting really weird and wow? He seems a bit emotionally charged. But omg yes. Marie is that extra scoop. It gets their feelings going. The fact that Julien got upset he went home with her makes him wonder but his mind immediately tries to get rid of those thoughts. He gets scared and defensive. They almost end up fighting because no answers are being told. (also extra. during the talk with Marie something happens eye emoji and.. he compares Marie to Julien. WHICH FUCKS HIM UP SO MUCH because Marie was always the source of his comparisons, always having others not being good enough, not being /her/. and now /she wasn't him/ HEAVES Jerome almost breaks down in her hotelroom then.) Oh and would the last day of Tokyo sleeping together thing still happen? Because that would fuck with Jerome even more. Its a different kind of intimacy and because he can't admit to himself Julien might want him too, he doesn't know what to think of it. He just knows his mind goes to the negatives. Jerome just wants to tell Julien to stop doing this to him bUT HE CANT? BECAUSE IF HE DOES HE'D ADMIT THINGS. and then Indonesia and Julien wants to talk about it and Jerome doesn't. He wants to avoid like he did around the phone call but they are forced together by their companies, they have the song together, their hotelrooms are probably small spaces apart and Jerome gets frustrated. And omg. what if it slips out. Jerome gets heated. Julien pulls and pulls because he wants to talk it out and "Julien, don't do this to me." omg. and oh it just dives into ANGST and thEY JUST HURT EACH OTHER. BECAUSE ONE CANT ADMIT SHIT AND THE OTHER IS STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HE FEELS AND WOW IM CRYING. also ok literally the ash/jerome thread got me so upset bc it's all so intertwined. Jerome pushes Ash to hang out with Julien more, Ash questions Jerome how he could be so sure Julien doesnt want to be his. Meanwhile Julien is just wakes up at 3am /ouo my spidey senses are tingling./ no but honestly. If they ever find out from each other that Jerome is Zhiwu and Ash is Taki RIPPP bc if i look from Jerome's perspective he really goes IN on his descriptions of Julien. Plus the pronoun dropped. He doesn't have many friends to begin with and no one is as close as Julien. ITS ALSO FUNNY THOUGH. bc Julien is someone who brings him back to old Jerome sometimes because he's in love but feels comfortable. And Julien is ALSO someone who brings Ash back to his childhood and those old memories like damn Julien is a time machine. also. look. Lena. imagine if Julien ever stayed over and they are fast asleep but Julien awakes from the buzzing of Jeromes phone bc Ash is texting him and the screen of the phone just says something vague about Jerome's love life and its gone before you know it because the screen locks again and darkens the room once more. omg.

That sounds about right. Julien would hear that and wouldn't even pay attention to it, he's too far gone already. If there was any part of him that was coherent, that part would have told him to stop before he ends up making a big mess, which is what he's already doing. But that next morning... Julien feels horrible, to say the least. The liquor left him with a gnarly hangover, his head spinning a little and the light slipping in through the windows too bright for him right now. He feels like his limbs are heavy, and his lower back has a dull throb to it that he hasn't felt in a really long time. He's had one of these mornings before, usually a signifier of a really great night, but this time around, he's feeling dread pool into the depths of his stomach. He's hoping that the gaze he's going to meet isn't one of pure regret, and that alone worries him to the core. Julien's frustrated, because he's wanted Jerome this whole time, but not like this. He regrets it, but only in the sense that he did it before even letting his feelings be known to Jerome. And he starts to project all these things, especially from their first meeting and the way Jerome said he'd have to try something extra special. He shouldn't think that far, but it makes an appearance in his mind, and he tosses it aside before it festers. And looking at jerome, he sobered up quickly. He'd be speechless, tongue tied, his dizzying mind trying to get his mouth to open but no words are coming out. They both believe it shouldn't have happened, but they both think that the other has that feeling for a different reason. And Julien tries to say something, but Jerome is already clambering out of the bed, and that's enough to have him so afraid that /okay. Jerome regrets it. This isn't what he wanted./ he'd try to salvage it, sitting up in bed as the sheets pool at his hips and he has such a scared and anxious look on his face. Jerome sees the disheveled hair, the bloodshot eyes, the marks and bites scattered all over Julien's neck and collarbones and chest. "...what does it look like we did?" And his voice is hoarse and he looks... there's a look of disbelief and regret clear on his face but it's aimed toward himself more than Jerome and UGHFJJFJFJFJ. (wow okay fuck me up. Julien also drunkenly tells Jerome how much he's wanted him but how he doesn't want to fuck it all up) Julien would probably hole himself up in his apartment with miso and edi. When it comes to things, Jerome is Julien's confidant, but what happens when the situation is about Jerome? Who does he talk to then? Cue Julien calling Jisoo and crying his eyes out about it while Jerome is in Indonesia. He'd watch the episode after Jerome gets back and he'd pick up on it, but he's not sure if it's bc there's a shift in his head or if Jerome is actually affected by it. He'd probably text Jiyoung and ask her to keep an eye on him. He's a mess the next few days and probably even cries to the cats. Yep. Marie is the one that ends up being the catalyst. Julien and Jerome really end up nearly fighting because Julien is crying and not explaining everything and Jerome is crying and not explaining everything either. Julien isn't asking the right questions either. Instead of asking if Jerome and Marie are together and the rumors are true, he asks if Jerome went home with Marie (to which Jerome's answer is not the answer Julien wants). When Jerome answers him, Julien doesn't even want to talk at this point ("why does it matter what happens with me at this point? You have a girlfriend now, don't you?") which of course sets off Jerome because Julien doesn't know what he's talking about, but it's also not completely Julien's fault either. And they either they argue or sort out enough of the mess that it puts them on speaking terms again. (BIIIITCH I'm screaming over Jerome rn my poor son) Also for that last day, it can still happen but we'd have to switch things around. The calendar for the event had everyone heading back to Korea at night right after the concert on a red eye. So they could have slept together beforehand and went to the concert then slept on the plane or they could have ended up at the airport together and on the plane and after landing in Korea one of them goes home with the other to sleep. But we could go either way! And the next few weeks after that Julien is just throwing himself into work. He's released a song with sooyeon, and then there's the song with Jerome (but for plot's sake we can say they worked on this song beforehand? Unless we plot something out with it), and he's releasing another song with jisoo soon too. But Indonesia is going to be a mess. With just the two of them, there's a lack of buffer, which frustrates the hell out of Julien and he just wants things to be okay between them. He misses Jerome so much, and if Jerome doesn't answer the door, best believe Julien is going to sit outside and threaten to make a scene unless Jerome lets him in. IM ALREADY SAD IN ANTICIPATION OF THIS. UGH OK BUT I READ IT AND I AGREE. Julien wakes up at 3am and those big ass ears of his are ringing ok. He just looks around and blinks wearily before curling back up in bed next to miso. But tbh Julien just makes an off-handed comment like "wow Ash is someone making you hang out with me or do you just miss me?" bc he sees ash more. Oh god. And also from Ash's perspective he doesn't have many friends from childhood and Julien is the only one really. And then you have Julien sitting there all ouo/ Julien is forever a time machine ok he likes to bring people back to how they were when they were happiest. It's his little skill uwu omg RIGHT. Julien just blinks and looks at it. Or if instead of Taki, the phone number shows up and he's just blinking like /why is Jerome texting Ashton?/ but he's half asleep and it disappears and he sighs before flopping back in bed and /I'll tell him in the morning/

Oh my god. I just thought about it. And Jerome basically chooses this. Julien gets drunker quicker and normally when he gets a bit handsy Jerome always stops him, has self restraint. Even when Julien is on his lap moving slightly and Jerome feels like he’s about to break, he just quiets him down with arms wrapped around his waist and chin on his shoulder, telling him to stay put. He always keeps his resolve. He always stops drinking when he’s metaphorically half way through the door, even if Julien continues. And now, he doesn’t. After the blurring of lines he hears no inner voice telling him he should stop anymore. Instead of staying just that bit sober his lips find the rim of the bottle with the auburn liquor that knocks the sense out of him. Depending on who it is that initiates the kiss, Jerome could’ve stopped either of them. He could’ve turned his head if it was himself leaning in, he could’ve leaned back. If the heat of the moment already had their lips touching Jerome could’ve still stopped it, bask in the sweet taste of them but stop nonetheless. If Julien leaned in and pressed their lips together he, with every fibre in his body telling him to relax against the pillowy lips, could’ve stopped it. But instead he licks into his mouth, his hand curls into his shirt on the small of his back just so he could instinctively press him closer and they seal their fate. Jerome might later on think he took advantage of the situation, something he didn’t want to do. He should’ve been responsible. He should’ve stopped. Julien already drank himself into a hiccuping mess on his wedding day and that same tension carried over when he entered his home. He should’ve known. He should’ve carried him to his bedroom when Julien neared his undressing phase, he should’ve laughed when Julien tells him he’s not tired and that the blankets are too hot, he should’ve pressed a kiss to his forehead before leaving him to fall asleep on the couch. He should’ve done what he normally did. But he didn’t. And the repercussions are imminent.

It was a rhetorical question. Or maybe just a question to himself. /What did they do?/ They crossed /that/ line. Jerome still can’t wrap his head around it. He still can’t pinpoint when rationality got thrown out of the window. He just knows he regrets it. So much. And now with him standing he feels so cold. He misses the blissful warmth he felt when he was not yet awaken. With his arm slung around Juliens waist and his nose nuzzled up against his shoulder like he belonged to be in his arms, his scent being everything he wants to be engulfed with, but he couldn’t return now. He couldn’t climb back, be pressed up against the warm nude body again because things are different now. They woke up. So he just stands there, looking so vulnerable half naked in the boxers he grabbed haphazardly to cover himself the most he could as before sliding out of the bed. He just stares at Julien when the question gets thrown back at him, the hoarseness of his voice sending a deadly shiver down his spine. /what does it look like we did?/ His eyes slide over his neck, the marks on his skin contrasting so beautifully like they’re meant to be there. And normally he’d feel pride. Though he doesn’t mark easily, he sometimes does it to tease the girls he’s with, to know they have to walk in embarrassment to the make up chair and have the artist cover it up. But as his eyes trail down his neck it looks like he had a purpose, like he wanted to claim him, like he wanted to remember what its like for Julien to be his. And his hazy brain shows him, shows him how aggressive he had been with his kisses and his biting, like every mark on the softly tanned skin was him proclaiming “You’re mine.” without verbally saying it. He remembers the way Julien had been gripping on his hair then, allowing him to leave the red and purple bruises on his skin whilst the elegant fingers uncurled from his hair, slipping over his neck only to end up digging half moons into his broad shoulders. He almost chokes, a faint noise heard from the back of his throat as he stared so intensely, a stare that would leave anyone selfconcious. He says nothing in that moment, just stands there looking like a mess himself post intimacy. It’s a rare sight, the morning after, not many people getting the chance to see it but it’s beautiful. The sunrays pouring through the window melt like honey on his olive complexion, showing the signs of love making clear on his skin. Somewhere in the depths of his mind where the romantic and the hedonist meet, he gets told to bath in what had happened. Their true nature comes out when they get drunk. Filters disappear when they get drunk. Julien was his when they got drunk. It was real. It was raw. But he’s too terrified. Eyes fall onto Julien expression and they mirror each other so well, both regretful, both scared, both so uncertain. But the fact is that both of them can’t know what the other is thinking. And false truths get formed. He reads his expression wrongly, and it breaks him.

Blanching, the subtle red hue that stays on his skin after alcohol and sex drains completely. The regret that lingers on the visage, that normally blossomed flowers in his chest, feels like it’s knives digging straight in his heart. Why is he regretful? Is it because he got drunk and slept with his best friend? Is it because the endless flirting ended up in disappointment? Was he not good enough? The uncertainty throws him in the negatives. Strange was it, that if Julien was looking at him with nothing but love and adoration, he’d be just as scared. Just for another reason. “It looks like-” As soon as he starts talking the words die in the back of his throat. He can’t say it. He can’t say what’s on the tip of his tongue. His aching head isn’t letting him. Eyes tear away from Juliens face, but not before they flashed with something Julien was unfamiliar with. Fingers run through the dark brown locks atop his head as he looked at anything that wasn’t the source of his affection and his troubles, his Adams apple bopping up and down to swallow away the rest of the sentence he couldn’t vocalize, replacing it with a harsher one. “-Like something we shouldn’t have done.” It hurts to say, but wasn’t it true? They shouldn’t have. And the sentence contrast so much with the way he was last night. When every fibre in his body said he should do it. When he was so sure of pouring everything into it, into loving him and having him and making him shout his name. So hungrily, so needy, like he’d been deprived from it for too long. With their mouths bruising from rough kisses that would betray if they could watch it back, their bodies molding together like they’d belong against each other, their voices vocalizing their most inner desires and hidden truths about one another and it all felt so right. But now..

Jerome turns around when the words left his lips and the pretty red lines that ran down his back in fives where still so vibrant after the nights sleep, connecting all the unique moles that kissed his skin with one another. He’s distraught. He remembers telling Julien to be his special someone, he remembers Julien suggesting to be his, to marry him even, but just for a song. He remembers slowdancing through the livingroom with Julien, head on his shoulder and fingers intertwined as he sang, just to him. He remembers the kiss, pressed so unexpectedly but so welcomed and needed and the second their mouths connected all he wanted was to keep tasting, like he had nectar on his lips. And Jerome lets his tongue swipe across his lips nervously, breath almost hitching when he did, like he still tasted Julien on them. He feels like he’s suffocating in the room, even with his body turned away from Julien he could feel him and it breaks him apart. He feels stupid. He feels scared. He feels like he betrayed himself again. Don’t fall in love. He finds Julien. Don’t let people get too close. He has Julien. Don’t do anything stupid. He touches Julien. Don’t get intimate with him. He kisses Julien. Don’t love him. He loves him. Oh, he needs to breathe. “I-I’m getting you some aspirins and water. Stay here.” He tells him, genuine care mixed with excuses to leave the room heavy with tension and regret. As he walks to the door that leads outside of his bedroom, Julien has the chance to say something if he so pleases, the month younger male stumbling to the door with a way too clouded mind. What he wanted to vocalize was left unsaid but it rang more true than the words of regret that escaped his lips after observing Juliens skin. /It looks like… like I loved you/ W O O P S. WELL. WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT. I REGRET. I REGRET. AS MUCH AS JEROME AND JULIEN. I’M CRYING. (but- ohmygod. Catch Jerome’s hips stuttering or his teeth just biting down a bit harder onto his skin when Julien says that, admits that. Because he has this weird thing with being wanted and being unwanted because of everything that happened in his life and to have Julien tell him that he’s wanted him, ohmygod Jerome almost comes right there and then lbr here. It’s canon that Julien can break him by either telling him he loves him or telling him how much he wants him btw. Like it’s powerful. BUT OHMYGOD THOUGH Jerome remembers this when they are arguing together and Julien just says something with the word /want/ in his sentence and the night hits him like a stack of bricks. He hears Julien tell him that he wanted him between the heavy breathing and the sounds and oh shit Jerome ends up kicking Julien out of his hotel room)

Oh my god. I’m in so much pain. Would Julien name drop? I don’t think he would but I gotta ask because wow if he did that would be messy. Like. Jisoo is Jerome’s company mate they see each other often and it would be.. oh lord. The visual of Julien crying w the cats though I’m so pained. The only person in Korea he could talk to would be Ash and he’d probably blow up the poor boys phone with it. Freddy is also someone he could talk to be he suspects too much already. If he comes online saying a friend had sex with a friend he’d just “So you finally had sex with the love of your life huh?” and he cant have that. But, in Indonesia he’d have this odd conversation with Yoonah who thinks he’s trying to hit on her again after years of him not doing so but he’s just needs advice. He asks her something along the lines of /what if we got really drunk and fucked right now. how would we fix it./ and he knows whatever answer he gets wont help because Yoonah isn’t Julien but he needs to talk without explicitly stating he made love to Julien in a drunken haze and now he feels hopeless. They don’t talk for a few days, maybe Yo. I’d feel like they’d argue. Like. A lot. Because neither of them are that smart when heated. And all this tension just builds up and up with the moments of not speaking to the avoiding to Jerome going home with a way too pretty French girl (from Dax’s descriptions “He totally scored. She was eyeing him the whole night. He even ditched me to talk to her privately somewhere and lord knows what they did there.” and the photos of them walking almost hand in hand to the pictures from a disheveled Jerome leaving the hotel like an hour later) after proclaiming their night together was something they shouldn’t have done and wow. They need a cooling period. And that cooling period are the last few days. But then. THE AIRPORT. (also. YES. IM WRITING IT NOW AND I WANT TO CRY 1000000 TEARS)

Ok. But. They are both exhausted after Tokyo, physically and emotionally because damn these poor boys. They half avoid each other with silent glances during rehearsal and the concert. They bump into each other at the airport and even though they’ve seen each other, it feel like they haven’t. Both look so drained Jerome doesn’t fall asleep on the plane in this scenario. He stays awake and Julien tries to read his book whilst glancing at Jerome sometimes whilst Jerome has his earbuds in listening to an album (literally if it was out it wouldve been Joji’s In Tongues but XXXTentacion’s 17 is angst af too.) whilst looking out of the window. And if they sit next to their managers they just glance at each other sometimes, gaining eyecontact before breaking it because emotions spill. But if they sit next to each other their arms bump sometimes, their hands do too, and these subtle touches are accidental. or maybe not. And it allows them to look at each other with reasons. Jerome mumbles a sorry. Or Julien does. But their hands don’t migrate. They stay put. Their fingers crawl together until at the end of the plane ride and they are even more tired than before, their fingers are intertwined. They are too exhausted to think clearly when they get off the plane and end up driving home together only for Jerome to crash at Juliens (Jerome’s bedroom is tainted now. cries. Let’s taint Juliens.) and because they’re so tired it’s all so soft. They don’t have the energy to be angsty or frustrated against each other. Jerome suggests he can fall asleep on the couch, or Julien offers his bed to Jerome. Just- they sleep apart first. But they miss each other. They can’t fall asleep. And Julien ends up crawling next to him on the couch or the bed because he misses him and he can’t sleep. Jerome couldn’t sleep either even if exhaustion is pulling his eyelids shut, he wants to be hold by Julien. They lay there nose to nose and in the moment it’s all so innocent. so serene. Julien mumbles stuff in his sleepy state and Jerome listens. He’s so calm listening to the voice. His hands rest against Juliens chest and Juliens arms are around his waist. With a single kiss on the forehead followed by their noses brushing together, they fall asleep. WOW And Jerome wakes up first hours later when the sun melts through the blinds. He notices he’s not in his own bedroom, he notices two arms slung around his waist holding him tightly against the warm frame the arms belonged to, he feels the warmth of breathing against the nape of his neck and its Julien. Alarmed he goes to check under the blankets, it can’t happen twice right? Not drunk on alcohol but drunk on exhaustion. But he relaxes when he sees the sweatpants hugging his waist but tenses at the sight of Juliens hands locking just on his abdomen. He turns his head, barely able to see Julien but he catches a glimpse. And he looks heart-achingly beautiful, all disheveled hair and calm expression with still the faint tan that carried over from the summer months when life was good and Jerome lets out a quiet gasp before turning to face head on again. He swallows, squeezing his eyes shut and decided not to wake Julien, not to remove the arms around his waist and slide out of bed. He decides to stay put, pretend to be asleep until Julien would wake up. Because, that morning after the drunken night, he regretted waking up. The warmth had been so nice, even if the dull pulsing of a massive headache made itself known in his dreams. It was so nice. And even if it’ll hurt so much if Julien regrets having him sleep over, he is listening to his romantic side now. Bath in it. This serene ethereal moment undisturbed by real life problems. RIP i’m SO SORRY.

But.. what if they worked on it beforehand (because Jerome wrote part of the song and came to Julien originally for him to sing it and it ended in “Let’s sing it together.”) but had to record it afterwards- and its tension city in the recording studio because the topic of the song, and everything happening, and them unable to speak to one another normally. BUT ITS RAW AS FUCK. LIKE. LOOK. THE CONTENTS OF THE SONG. Jerome messes up way too many times when he looks at Julien, his voice breaking, but then, one take goes flawless. Because in that take he realizes he’s still clawing at the sun. He still lets it melt his wax wings. He still falls but wont give up because he fell in love with the sun. NO IM REALLY SORRY. looks at the live version of Icarus and sobs because JB looks like he’s in his own world and JEROME. BUT. Jerome is busy with his new album and he goes so far into it. (im so interested whats its about bc it has Revenge in the title and im eye emoji x100 dean pls give my son something i can work with) they don’t see each other at all (#rip birthday headcanon ur safe in our hearts) and then indonesia. just them. they have to talk. And okay Jerome is like being stabbed in the heart from all sides but deep down he just wants Julien to make it better, like he always does even if he doesn’t realizes it. Oh my god though. Cue Jerome anxiously watching the door like /i cant talk about this NO/ and daring him to say anything but when julien takes him up on his dare he just opens the door and pulls him inside ohmygod iM CRYING. I CANT. OUR BOYS. OUR BEAUTIFUL BOYS. BIG ASS EARS. BIGGER THAN THE SUN. I love this sm. Like. Ash influencing Jerome to snatch Julien up and Jerome influencing Ash to hang out with Julien more whilst Julien is just o3o hello and they are just oblivious that its them doing it and im crying.

AGAIN. ok but. cue the slow motion Ash and Rome turning to Julien before looking at each other and back at julien like “holy shit.” the day. It’s funny too that Jerome lit hates Daeun for NO REASON other than her sounding like Marie (is he the worst or nah?) and kind of being friends with Hansol after a rough start of him basically insulting Origin after his smtm thing. jfc. It’s all connected. and look. can you feel my love from across the oceans for julien rn. because im radiating. He’s my soft lil son in law and idk what to do with myself. When Julien is actually the sun because sunshine makes you happy. Julien Shin, Korea’s personal vitamine D supplement ;u; oh my god though. if he not yet knows its Ash and Julien sees the number and asks Jerome. Jerome just. “Ash texted me?” and checks but he still has Ash’s old number saved as Ashton and he never calls him anyway so he just doesn’t put two and two together when he sees the texts from Taki. “Getting my hopes up for a text from THE Taeyong and I get disappointed. Tsk Tsk Tsk.” He says as he messes up Juliens hair-

oh god this hurts me. this hurts me so much holy shit. And there have been times that julien gets like that when he’s drunk. those times where he plops himself in jerome’s lap and “don’t you want to kiss me?” mumbling while his hands clumsily card through jerome’s locks and jerome has to just rest his chin on his shoulder and hold him. julien challenges him too often, but there’s a playfulness to it that’s different from this time around. this time, he’s clear about his desire instead of teasing. he’s drunk but he’s wrapped up in jerome’s arms and in the moment and “i’m your special someone, aren’t i?” murmuring while leaning in closer until they’re barely millimeters apart. “won’t you remind me just how special i am?” he’d breathe out, breathy words against jerome’s mouth before julien moves in to continue the kiss. and jerome doesn’t stop him, but julien wouldn’t have wanted him to stop. julien wants jerome to be his, has wanted it for longer than he’d like to admit. he’d love to blame his lack of sleep and intoxication for his actions but he really can’t, because at the end of the day this is what he wanted, even if it wasn’t the way he wanted it to happen. and even at jerome’s wedding day just having jerome close to him like that had julien drinking himself into jisoo’s car to get him home. all these times that julien flirted with him while drunk, every time that julien hinted at wanting jerome. that one time that jerome finally didn’t push him away, with arms wrapping around him and guiding him toward the bedroom, there’s a part of julien that for a moment wonders if jerome will still want him after that night. all the senseless flirting and lingering touches and eye contact… would jerome still want julien when they wake up? a drunk julien is a genuine one, brutally honest and doing things that julien has wanted to do but never had the courage to do so.

as they stare at each other from across the room, there’s a lot that’s going on in both of their heads. julien’s gaze runs from the way jerome’s hair is disheveled and sticking out in different directions, down to the way his skin looks in the morning light, and at that moment julien is already worried about what jerome’s back is going to look like the second he sees it. julien doesn’t even realize just how marked up he is, but he can feel that his lips are sore, possibly bruised from the way they were kissing the night before. while julien can’t remember minute details from the night before, he can remember enough to know what happened. the way he asked jerome to be his, the way they danced in the living room, the way he dared jerome to kiss him, and how one thing happened after another. julien can even remember moments in the middle of it; the way he let his head fall back against the pillows to bare his neck at the other to mark up to his heart’s content, the way his fingers clawed at the other’s back with each thrust and mark on his skin, even the way jerome’s mouth was right up next to his ear, nibbling and breathing hotly in his ear between words. as much as julien regrets this happening in a way that he didn’t have any control over, he also regrets that he can’t remember every touch and kiss. but he waits, wondering how jerome is going to answer him. he’s not quite happy to hear jerome’s response. /like something we shouldn’t have done/. it’s one thing for julien to think about it, but for him to hear the other say it has him feeling some type of way. “…yeah. something we shouldn’t have done.” he’d reply in a soft murmur, fingers absentmindedly playing with the sheets in his lap.

it feels like there’s poison in julien’s system, making it’s way to his stomach and working into his system. those words that jerome spoke felt like daggers piercing through him but he can’t figure out why he’s so hurt. he thinks the same thing, right? that it was something they shouldn’t have done, but then again for jerome to say that implies that jerome regretted it. that in itself has julien’s breathing getting harder to do. his heart seizes, his breath catches, and his head drops down for him to stare at his fingers in his lap. he sits wordlessly, trying to fight the tears from welling up in his eyes as he realizes just how badly this turned out. with jerome out of the room, julien finally works on climbing out of bed, feet hitting the floor and room starting to spin but he just wants to get out of there. he can’t stand to see jerome looking at him like that, saying they did something they shouldn’t have done. it doesn’t help that his clothes are scattered all over the place, and he exits the room wearing his briefs and the first shirt on the floor, probably jerome’s. he haphazardly buttons it up as he exits the bedroom, the buttons not even aligning with the openings on the shirt, but it’s a shirt and it’s something he can walk out with. he makes it far enough to pass the bathroom where jerome emerges, and julien is mumbling quickly and “i-i have to go… just drop edith off on your way to the airport,” he’d crack out, voice hoarse still from the night before. “have fun on your honeymoon.” and he’s saying this while avoiding eye contact but he just needs to get out of there. (oh god. when julien actually confesses that, he truly means it. he can’t quite figure out when the moment was that he realized he loves jerome, but he can say that the moment he first wanted jerome was when they first met. while yes, he’s wanted jerome in a physical way from the get-go, a simple attraction to someone, it’s only been recently that julien’s wanted all of jerome. he’s drunk and doesn’t quite articulate it more than saying he wants him, but when he’s sober and he finally realizes that his words truly affect jerome, he starts to be more vocal about it. he’d go into detail about how much he loves and wants jerome, talk about what he’d give up just to have jerome to himself, how selfish he wants to be with jerome because he loves and wants him so much. but they’d be arguing in japan in jerome’s hotel room about the situation and jerome won’t tell him anything but tell julien he’s misunderstanding the situation and julien just “what do you want from me, jerome? what do you want?” and it stops jerome dead in his tracks, the sound of julien’s voice resonating in his head and BREATHES.)

nah, julien wouldn’t name drop. he’d probably cry to jisoo and he wouldn’t be specific but just “i fucked up so badly, i don’t know what to do;;;;” and he’d try to keep it as vague as possible. ofc he’d probably just lie in bed with the two cats and looking at edi and “i’m sorry i took your spot in your dad’s bed last night… i really shouldn’t have bc now i feel like shit.” but omg imagine julien ended up crying to ash instead and ash is just somehow getting both sides of the story OH GOD. but tbh julien just needs to try and talk himself through it and as great as the cats are, they don’t exactly provide advice, they just listen to him. and julien already knew that they weren’t going to talk much while jerome was gone bc he would be filming, but even after he returns there’s only a super brief conversation between them when jerome comes and picks up edi from julien’s place. and since then it’s just small talk between them bc they’re best friends but they’re also in this strange territory with their relationship. they’ll message each other once in a while to say hello but that’s about it; they don’t go into their deep conversations like they used to, don’t spend nearly an hour on the phone talking about everything and nothing at the same time. it’s as if they do’t know how to talk to each other anymore. and it’s the japan trip that nearly breaks them because of marie. the marie situation provides both a trainwreck but also a way to salvage the relationship. there’s so much arguing in tokyo, especially with julien losing it over the fact that jerome left with marie but also jerome refusing to explain anything to julien.

by the end of the trip, julien is so exhausted, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. they didn’t speak for the entire day, and even during the rehearsals julien just went and did his performance, then got off the stage. when jerome passed julien just backstage, julien looked at jerome with his facade in full force. usually, he saves his genuine expressions and smiles for jerome, leaves his polite public image behind for the other, but this time around it’s just a simple, polite smile. the smile looks perfect, but that’s exactly what julien doesn’t do with jerome. and it happens again when he gets off stage during the concert, only keeping the expression on his face in case anyone else is looking at them; he has to keep up appearances, despite his current mood and situation. but at the end of the concert, they’re already en route to the airport and julien probably hopped in with the other soloists or with element or something, too lost in his own world. there’s his facade up again, a black mask on his face and tired eyes behind his spectacles. and the entire plane ride is tense to say the least. they end up sitting next to each other, their managers suggesting they do because they’re best friends and also promotes the bc/gold star partnership that everyone wants so badly. but they sit there, jerome with his mask and headphones while julien is curled up in his seat trying to read. he can’t seem to focus though, his eyes are skimming over the pages but he’s not comprehending any of the words. at one point, he just closes the book and rests it in his lap before turning off the overhead light and staring out the window, not caring that it’s pitch black outside. the thing with the red eye flights is that most people are sleeping on the flight, but julien can’t seem to sleep, even though he’s so tired. when their fingers gravitate toward each other, julien lets out a sigh before dropping his head to gently rest on jerome’s shoulder. as their fingers intertwine, julien can’t help but give the other’s hand a squeeze. it’s a faint squeeze, but it speaks volumes. despite the fact that they aren’t talking, julien still cares for jerome more than ever. when the plane lands, julien lifts his head from jerome’s shoulder, giving his hand one more squeeze before unraveling his fingers and rubbing his eyes. they end up at julien’s place instead, simply because it’s closer to the airport, and jerome’s had his own toothbrush and clothes at julien’s place after spending a lot of nights there in the first place. jerome insists that julien sleeps in his bed (”it’s your bed. the best feeling after coming back from a work trip is sleeping in your bed.”) while jerome sleeps on the couch. but twenty minutes pass before julien emerges from the room, turning on one of the lamps in his living room and heading toward the couch. approaching where jerome is lying, julien lowers himself to the floor at the spot in front of the couch, folding his arms on the kitchen and resting his chin on his forearms to look at him. he’d reach a hand out, fingers gently running through jerome’s hair “there’s room for two people on the bed… please?” mumbling softly. he wants to continue, to say that he sleeps best with jerome next to him, but it’s one of those things that can remain unspoken for now. they end up under the covers in julien’s bed, arms wrapped around each other and julien’s sleepily mumbling about how much he misses jerome and his eyes are just watery from exhaustion. “i’m tired of fighting… i just want to be with you, why is that so hard?” and he’s nearly asleep to the point that he becomes way too honest just like when he’s drunk, but it’s the last thing he says really, before he ends up falling asleep. when julien finally wakes up the next morning, eyes fluttering open, it takes him a few moments to remember what happened the night before. despite it being late fall, it’s late enough in the morning that the sun is filtering through the window, rays falling upon jerome’s dark locks. with a soft sigh, julien would lean in, lips gently pressing to the nape of jerome’s neck in a soft kiss, before pressing one more kiss and closing his eyes once more. he just wants to relax and recover from the past week of events, and it feels like he’s just waking up from a nightmare.

i like this idea. like jerome brought it up to him before the whole mess that was life in pink. like maybe over the summer before they did the we got married thing. because i’d imagine them to still be happy and affectionate as ever but before they started to cross the line. because life in pink happened right after the wedding and they definitely had that cool down period between jerome’s honeymoon and the triple fantasy concert in japan. maybe they started working on it a little between the honeymoon and concert in japan because it’s still tension and the hookup after life in pink is still pretty fresh in their minds. and it takes so long to get the song recorded bc they both are trying to avoid the other especially since it hurts too much for both of them to continue acting like nothing happened that night and that their feelings aren’t obvious. jerome messes up and julien has a hard time focusing because of the lyrics behind it and he seriously wants to just confront the situation but neither of them are in the condition to do so just yet. and in one moment, julien begins to sing his part, fingers clutching to keep the headphones snug over his ears as he stares at jerome head on from in the recording area. like he’s staring at jerome so hard while he sings his lines, daring jerome to break the eye contact as he continues to sing. but when they finally finish recording the song, it’s super awkward and quiet between them and julien packs up his things before “…are you okay getting home?” he asks, voice unsure as if he was searching for a reason to speak to jerome. (ALSO PLS I ALREADY KNOW THIS NEW ALBUM IS GONNA BE LIT AF BUT ALSO @ ERIC NAM WHERE IS THE NEW ALBUM??) julien probably gets really fucked up on halloween and sleeps through half of his birthday bc he’s not really feeling it this year and wants to stay home. BUT. indonesia is going to be a m e s s. at that point, it’s been radio silence from jerome for a long time and julien is actually hitting his breaking point. he couldn’t stand jerome not talking to him when the phone call thing happened, and this is so much worse than that. julien misses jerome terribly, and while they ended up just going home together after triple fantasy just to sleep, their relationship is in a state of flux and there’s a lot of push and pull. there’s the cover that they do for the mbc song festival, which is already tension bc it’s after triple fantasy and they’re not exactly great yet bc of the marie thing. but indonesia happens literally those next few days and it’s after icarus releases and they haven’t even talked since then and julien’s just beyond frustrated. jerome finally yanks julien into the hotel room and when the door closes julien looks at him while breathing and he lets out a sigh before plopping down on the floor. “i just want to talk to you. please. i’m tired of this, jerome.”

MY BABY’S BIG EARS. when julien sees cute little edi he gets smitten with her because her ears are big too;;;;; okay tbh though? jerome would come over to julien’s and julien and ash are sprawled out watching ‘your name’ and jerome plops down on the couch with them and ofc jerome is curious and asks who chose the movie and julien just “ouo this is ash’s favorite movie.” and they’re continuing to watch but jerome is just like /ok interesting/ and later on when the movie is over jerome asks them how they know each other and “us? ash and i have known each other since we were kids, actually. we still try to hang out, even though ash here has the busiest schedule ever” and jerome is starting to piece it together. julien just “let’s hang out again sometime? i’ll start a group text ouo” and right as he sends the messages the pair just stop and look at the group chat and who’s in it and “……….” IDK I STARTED THINKING ABOUT THIS BUT IT’S HELLA CUTE ; W ;

#&&. 2017.11;#&&. verse: canon;

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