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https-florals · 1 year

Text

you said, baby, no attachments - r.c.

part one || part two

word count: 2k

summary: after a very stupid, very impulsive night with rafe, you make a lot of questionable decisions.

warnings: mentions of sex, suggestive!!! friends-with-benefits but without the friends, mentions of drinking, cursing, little angst, little fluff.

a/n: FIRST EVER RAFE FIC!!!!! i have such a massive crush on drew starkey and tbh i’m shocked ive waited this long to write my bae rafe. anywayssss if this doesnt flop lol there may or may not be a pt 2 im working on!!! my plan is for this to have four parts, but that could change and i might condense it. this is based on casual by chappell roan!!

Stupid things have good outcomes all the time. JJ lives by that phrase, and after hearing it for years, it’s rubbed off on you. But apparently, that’s not a good excuse in an argument with him, and here you are, palms sweaty and slipping off your bike handles, repeating the words over and over and over like you’re trying to convince yourself they’re true.

Today’s stupid thing? Responding to a text from none other than Rafe Cameron. Okay, that’s been your stupid thing for about a month.

You had a little thing going with Rafe. It started at a party, a drunk hookup, neither participant quite realizing who the other was until they woke up in bed together. You had practically run from Tannyhill like the house was on fire, only after both of you fought a little, fucked a little more, and then promised never to speak of it again. You had thought that this pact also entailed speaking to each other, but about a week later Rafe caught you at work, smiled at you, and hit you with some stupid line you couldn’t quite remember. Something about being the prettiest girl in the room, which wasn’t exactly hard, considering you were indeed the only girl in the room as you worked the counter at the country club’s pro shop. When he slipped back his signed receipt to you, there were 10 digits scrawled across the bottom below his signature.

“Rafe, what is this?” you had to ask, tone a mix between a laugh and a sigh.

He shrugged, and attempted to grab his bag and run out, but you slid the fancy paper bag away from him. “I thought that we said we weren’t gonna talk to each other anymore,” you had stated softly, smiling at the way his cheeks tinted a little pink.

“Nah, I said I didn’t wanna talk about it,” he stressed, “But talking to you is way different.”

You just rolled your eyes and pushed the bag back to him, and he waved you goodbye as he left.

You can count on one hand all the interactions you’ve had with that boy, and that had to be the oddest. Well, maybe not as odd as having sex with him.

A week passed before you texted him. It wasn’t for anything really important, a scolding, if anything. All you did was remind him that again, he can’t just randomly take his shirt off while golfing. It’s a sophisticated establishment, the old ladies complain, blah, blah, blah. His response?

rafe c. - so you’re saying i distract you?

Yes, unfortunately, that is exactly what you’re saying.

The situations just get weirder, when the first time the two of you hang out is when you call him for a ride to the grocery store. No one’s at the Chateau, you’re out of gas, and every form of transportation you could possibly steal for a bit is with their respective owners. You doubt you could’ve balanced on JJ’s bike anyways.

The ride is a little awkward, but by the end you feel.. Comfortable. At peace, almost, in the Kook prince’s passenger seat with his hand ghosting over your knee. In the grocery store, it’s painfully obvious Rafe has never been shopping for food in The Cut. He’s wrinkling his nose at the cheap prepackaged salmon you buy, with generic bread crumbs. But then he helps you comb through the bell peppers to find decent ones, and carries your groceries to his truck. He even lets you play whatever you want over the aux.

You’re waking up with him in your bed the next morning, pushing him out the window so no one sees him.

And that’s how it starts, and how it continues- brief text convos, long hangouts, good sex and fake nonchalance. He stays true to what he said, and you don’t talk about it. To anybody. That was the whole thing- it was understood that it was a secret. No strings attached, forbidden kind of kook and pogue relations that would have your friends livid.

So why are you so nervous on this particular evening? Maybe it’s because Rafe let it slip to Sarah that you’re hooking up. Maybe cause Sarah just had to say something to John B, who then told JJ, who then fought with you in front of the entire group. Everyone knows, and everyone is telling you you’re crazy. It’s not something you can handle, so when you see that Rafe asked you to come over, you’re hopping on your bike and speeding to Tannyhill.

When you get there, you automatically rush into Rafe’s room, a sweaty mess.

He’s laying on his bed, in just boxers as he scrolls on his phone. He jumps when you walk in, setting his phone down quick and standing up like you’re the queen or something.

Your gaze tracks to a bottle of lotion and a box of tissues on his nightstand, and you groan and fake gag as you flop facedown onto the mattress.

There’s an almost soundless little intake of air, but you do hear it, and cut Rafe off before he can even speak.

“I’m not helping you get off!” you declare loudly, and the boy visibly deflates.

“Come on,” he whines, like a little kid not getting his way. “You came in at the perfect time.”

You roll over so he’s in your peripheral vision, and huff. “I’m mad at you.”

He sticks his bottom lip out, a little mocking as he crawls onto the bed beside you. “Awe, what’d I do now?” Rafe lays on his side, head propped up on his hand as he watches you. He likes to watch the way his lamp reflects in your eyes, and how you roll your eyes everytime you catch him staring at you. His fingers creep up your side, but you push him off. Oh. You really are mad, he thinks.

“Why would you tell Sarah?” you ask, voice quiet as you stare him down. The apples of his cheeks turn a little pink, and his eyes widen.

“Uh, what did I tell her?” Rafe lies, because he remembers exactly what he said to Sarah, and the way her jaw dropped after he spoke.

“I just- I really like her, Sarah. Forget about the sex and all that shit. When I’m talking to her, it feels like…” He’s stumbling over his words, not quite able to say what he wants. “She’s fresh air, and I feel like I’ve been stuck in a room without windows, or some shit.”

He was never much of a poet. He also remembers the vise-like grip she had on his arm as she told him she would kill him if he ever hurt you. Rafe promised he could never.

But right now he lies, lies and tries to level his voice. He’s a little shocked that you believe him, or at least don’t press the topic further.

“You told her we were sleeping together!” You hiss, lightly smacking him on the side of his head.

He winces, but internally he’s heaving a sigh of relief. He makes a mental note to never get drunk with his sister ever again as you continue to rant. It’s something about the Pogues wanting to kill him (nothing new), along with a couple of jabs about how he’s just the worst, and that he's annoying, and blah, blah, blah. Rafe isn’t really listening, rather just thinking about his stupid decisions. One of which is looking real pretty as she yells at him. Pretty enough to fall in love with. He absentmindedly tucks your hair behind your ear and you instantly exhale, losing your train of thought altogether in record time. It’s like you have the attention span of a damn goldfish around him.

You just groan again, and murmur, “I can’t stand you,” right before you press your lips to his.

Rafe laughs against you, pulling you on top of him in one smooth motion. “Good thing you’re sitting on top of me then.”

His hands slip under your shirt, and your fingers push through his hair. The calluses on his hands scrape against the soft skin of your stomach and catch on the lace of your bra. Hard hands for daddy’s money, you think. Your fingers tuck against his jawline, cradling his face while his tongue slips against yours, his lips curling up when you make any little noise.

You pull back to catch your breath, and Rafe just stares up at you, kind of punchdrunk.

“Rafe?”

“Mhm?” He reaches up to brush his thumb over your lips.

You’re silent for a second as you think about what you’re about to say. ‘What- What are we doing?”

Rafe’s mouth is parted, and you can’t quite decipher his expression as you watch his eyes flick over your face. He swallows, and says, “Whatever you want.”

You don’t really hear him, and blurt out, “I need this to be casual.”

“Casual?” he repeats.

“Strictly like, sex. No strings attached.”

He sits up, pulling you with him so you’re still on his lap but he’s eye level to you. He’s hard underneath you, but you ignore it as you continue to speak.

“Okay, just sex. Why?”

It’s actually very hard to ignore, literally and figuratively. Rafe is thinking the same thing when you clear your throat and move a little on him, subconsciously.

You shrug. “Listen, I don’t have the time for anything more than that. Plus, we know we couldn’t date, like ever.”

He nods, fake-stretching as a means to buck up against you. “And why couldn’t we date?” When you give him an incredulous look, he continues, “Just to play devil’s advocate. Not that I don’t agree with you, cause I totally do. I just wanna know what you’re like, thinking, if we’re on the same wavelength, or whatever…” He trails off, knowing he’s babbling and should stop.

You laugh a little nervously. “Okay, Cameron.” You take a deep breath, and hope that what you’re about to say makes sense. “I have an itch to scratch, and the only thing I want to do is scratch that itch.” You pause to think. “Itch that scratch?”

“You had it right the first time,” Rafe laughs, but the lilt of it is a little annoyed.

“Okay, whatever. Anyway, you’re good at scratching that itch.”

He grins with pride, bottom lip tucked between his teeth, and just the way he’s looking at you makes you squirm.

“Really good at scratching that itch,” you exhale a little shaky. “But y’know, I don’t really like you as a person.”

His eyebrows shoot up, eyes wide. “The fuck? Thanks a lot.”

“You’re an asshole, Rafe. Plain and simple. I’m not trying to be a bitch, but come on.” You’re thinking of all the times he’s been an absolute dick to your friends.

He’s thinking about all the things he’d lay down for you. “Not to you.”

Your words evidently sting him a bit, and you go red. You hadn’t really meant to hurt him.

You groan. “You know what I mean. My friends hate you. We just couldn’t work.”

Rafe doesn’t really know what to say. This isn’t really the way he thought this would go, but then again, what did he really expect? Everything is jumbled in his head, and all he wants to do is get high and forget about the conversation. But, even though you basically just told him that he's unlikable, you’re still regrettably pretty, and still on top of him. He grips your hips hard, holding you in place as he rolls against you. “So fuck buddies, but we can’t stand each other?” One hand snakes underneath your shirt to unclip your bra, and he does it faster than you can blink.

“Exactly,” you say somewhere in between both of your shirts coming off. “Just stress relief.”

His hands are hot all over you. There’s a hardness in his gaze that’s so different from the softness of his touch.

“We have to have rules,” you manage to state when you’re shimmying out of your shorts, breathing hard while Rafe toys with the little pink bow on your panties.

“Whatever you want, pretty girl.”

It’s a filler phrase, you think. He must desperate for you to shut up and fuck him, so he’s saying anything.

He’s still thinking about how he’d do anything for you. Anything.

You still for a second to catch your breath, and say, “No feelings. No staying overnight. And we can’t go anywhere together that we would be seen.”

“Why not?” Rafe groans as your clothed heat slips over him.

“Rafe! People will talk. They’ll think…”

He presses a finger to your lips, effectively shushing you. “That we’re fucking? Well, hate to break it to ya, baby, but we kinda already are.”

“And no calling me baby.”

Rafe ignores you and slips his hand between your legs, and you forget that you’re supposed to hate him.

likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

#outer banks fanfiction #outer banks #outer banks imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron smut #obx fanfiction #obx2 #obx fic #obx netflix

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rinbowaman · 11 months

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tbh it seems like yn doesn't have to try in like seducing hee cuz duh he always wants her... but I would honestly think it would so fun to see her try doing it on purpose cuz either heeseung would lose it after 5s or he would play dumb cuz he just loving this too much

oh you're so right. y/n doesn't have to try, in fact, she's seducing him without even realizing or thinking of it because he's just so enamored and in love with her...like we're talking headoverheels-smitridden-overthetopofanymountain-heavenandhell-cupidpissinginyourmouth-pureblissfullyinlove with y/n. to the max.

”How am I Doing?”

You smiled and chuckled at seeing Heeseung's text. Just as you placed your phone down, you received another ding, it was H/N.

Upon reading her texts, you started to wonder what the scenario would be...if you HAD put forth some effort. H/N spoke the truth, you didn't have to try at all. As far as everyone was concerned, Heeseung, and Ethan for that matter, were totally obsessed with you....possibly in a very abnormal and unhealthy way, yet you actually enjoyed it since it brought out the vigor of their love for you.

Still.....

'I want to see...what would he be like if I...."

Pondering, you decided to put it to action. Looking through the dresser that was filled with all of your clothes, since Heeseung was adamant of you moving into his room with him after you both hit your third month of dating, so adamant in fact, that he moved in one of the spare dressers from an empty room and had you move all of your belongings in. He even cleared out one half of his rather large walk in closet, so that you could hang most of your clothes.

Digging into all of the top drawers to look through your lingerie pieces that you haven't worn before him....yet.

Looking through the contents of each drawer, you found a set that you knew he would love. It was a set that you had gotten shortly after you came to live in the dorm, when you were out shopping with Vicky and the girls, before you even had met Heeseung.

Originally with the intent to wear it for Samuel since at the time, you were still dating him. Since things hadn't worked out between you two, you had buried the set in with the rest of your undergarments and completely forgotten about it.

Stepping into the bathroom, you stripped yourself down and placed on the delicate material of lace and mesh, with the bright and dark coloring reflecting nicely off your skin tone.

Knowing full well that he would like it, you wanted to surprise him with it on, so you decided to remain in the bathroom, noting the time on the clock which indicated that he would be well on his way home by now.

Sitting on the sink counter top, you felt your heartbeat escalating as the minutes drew nearer...when suddenly you heard the front door downstairs open and shut. The keys jingling as you heard footsteps making their way up the stairway.

'Oh my God...he's here.'

At this point, your heart was pounding through your ears. You turned on the faucet, thinking the sound of the water trickle would help calm your nerves.

It wasn't until you heard him open the door to his room and the sound of his keys being tossed on the console table, that you felt the heat of your blood rushing through every extremity in your body.

"Pretty baby? Where aaaaaaare yoooou?" he teases as he makes his way to the bathroom door, noting that the light was on.

You remained seated on the counter, wondering if you should back out and quickly put your clothes back on. Especially when you heard him lightly scratching the door on his side, coaxing you to come out.

"Come out, i miss you. I want to see my pretty baby's face."

"O-okay..."

'....Did i make a mistake. He already misses me, what is he going to do to me if he sees me in this?'

Taking a gulp, you put on your brave face and swooped all of your hair over to one shoulder, revealing as much of the lingerie as much as possible.

"Babe?...."

"mmm yeah?" he answers, from what you could tell, he had his mouth right against the door as he answered, tapping his fingertips along the paneling of it. His eagerness to get to you was expressed in his usual way, yet this time you felt beyond thrilled as well as fearful upon hearing it.

"I...wanted to ask you something...which is why i'm inside here...i'll come out if you answer with a surprise but you have to answer honestly, okay?"

You could tell he was intrigued by the way he issued one hard knock on the door, yet stood with his chest, practically glued against it as he responded. "Okay, what's up?"

"What if...i tried to seduce you?"

".........."

He remained silent for a moment, then chuckled when he finally decided to answer.

"What do you mean? You don't need to do that, i'm always wanting you. Don't I show it? Mmm...or do i need to give you more attention?"

You could just tell by the tone of his deep and teasing voice, along with his choice of words that he was smirking.

"Why? Are you trying to seduce me? Because, seeing you hiding from me..."

You heard him lean into his side of the door. Whispering in a low and deep tone, it was faint, yet he made it clear to issue just a bit of it so you could hear as he finished his sentence.

"Is kind of already doing something....pretty baby....come out."

You swore your heart stopped beating for a second as a chill ran through your spine. You couldn't tell if you were scared, excited, or nervous...maybe even all of the above.

"O-okay I'm going to." hopping off the counter, you walked over to the door and placed your hand on the knob.

You stood still, it was hard...no, it was impossible for you to unlock and turn it open.

"Pretty baaaaaaby..." his voice was low as he teased out his petname for you. "I want my girl....right....now."

'Oh....God...how does Eden do it?'

Putting on your brave face once more, this time being as alluring as you can as you narrowed your eyes and slightly smacked your lips, you opened the door.

Upon the door gently swinging open, you stood and presented yourself...shyly, as the moment you saw his frame appear you loosely crossed your arms over your torso....somehow you immediately regretted your decision. However, you already in too deep, you needed to stay committed in seeing how far you could seduce him, what the triggering points were.

He stood...pushing his cap off, he merely froze and stared at you as he placed his hand over his mouth, peeking in between his fingers with one eye.

......................

Everything was silent.

"N-no....no touching.."

His eyes widened, possibly the widest you've ever seen him do as the iris in his eyes shrank, he almost looked...

'Demonic.'

Noting the expansion of the white around his iris, taking over and eliminating the black color of his eyes, you quickly added in to your remark.

"Not yet! You can...but i just...i want to....seduce you." you shyly remarked as you looked off to the side at the ground. You weren't really good at this as you thought you would be, it was kind of hard with how he would stare and stand before you. All of the confidence you had initially, went away the moment he appeared in front of you.

Finally, he speaks out.

"You really....want me to act normal....with you looking like....THAT?"

You nodded with slight fear in your expression as he growled at the last bit of his sentence.

"....Okay." clearing his throat, he turns around, picks up his cap, took off his jacket and conducts his routine of settling in and sitting at his desk, starting his laptop.

Walking over to him from behind, you started to feel your confidence come back as you placed your hand on his far shoulder, as you walked around and placed your hip over by his ear.

He clears his throat once more, trying to abide by your request as he looks into his computer screen, slowly typing in his password, which was of course, the numbers that outlined the lettering of your name.

You lean in, slightly hovering over his shoulder with your hair draping down, falling onto his keyboard as you place a hand over his on the mouse. Leaning your face into his ear, you quietly spoke.

"How am I doing?"

He places an elbow on the desk right in front of him as he buries his face into his palm, covering his eyes and his nose, his mouth remained exposed. He stayed silent.

"Aren't you going to answer me?" you softly asked as you noted his silence and his struggle, which made you smirk.

Finally, he quietly speaks out.

"....You're doing better than you think..." his tone was low and deep.

"yeah?"

"......yeah." he whispered out. So quiet, you barely even caught it.

Just as you looked away, faintly giggling to yourself, you felt him strongly grip your wrist, while his other arm loops around your waist.

Jolting your gaze right back at him, you saw Heeseung smirking at you, though he hadn't switched to his Ethan side, his gaze had a slight bit of devious fervor in his expression.

".....you done?" He smirks out as you asks you, biting down on his lip, eyes wide at you.

You looked at him with your own wide eyes, mouth slightly parting open as you felt yourself quivering.

Feeling your body trembling, his arm tugs you in closer, as he bites down on his lip a little harder and chuckles. Looking at you dead straight in the face, he tells you.

"Once i'm done..."

he tilts his head down, eyeballing your hips, your waist, and your breasts.

"Then its my turn." Ethan growls as he looks back up at your face.

Pulling you in he stands up and catches you as he tightly embraces you. From what you could sense, by the manner of his kisses and the way his voice sounded, he was Heeseung again.

Fishing his hand under your thigh, he pulls it up to his waist as he wraps your ankle around his back.

Engaging you in a passionate and deep kiss, he pauses as he keeps his lips plastered onto you, you felt the movement of them as he tells you,

"Jump."

Without breaking the contact of your lips against his, you do as he bids. He catches you effortlessly as he loops his other hand around your remaining thigh, straddling you against his groin as he walks over a wider, cushioned chair with wide, loop hole arm rests.

Sitting back on it, he kisses you as he feeds your feet through the wide loops, your upper thighs rubbing up against the top bit of the arm rest from underneath. There, you felt his hands roam from your lower back, and on to your rear as he grabs and squeezes on your cheeks, conducting motions of slightly lifting them, and then caving them downward, rotating back and forth between each movement. Meanwhile, his lips coated your cleavage with his saliva as he licked, bit, and kissed the skin of your flesh that was right in front of his face.

At the feel of his hips slightly bucking upwards to your pelvis, the soft spot in between your legs, your hands instinctively grab onto the base of his thick neck, where he groaned at feeling your touch. The vibration of his vocal cords could be felt with your hands cupping his skin.

Breaking from his oral assault on your chest, he looks up with his lips pressed right under your chin, he lets out a vocal gasp and clicked his tongue as his mouth remained parted against your neck.

"Did you accomplish your goal?" he breathlessly asked, as he squeezed a little harder on the plumpness of your rear cheeks.

Nodding, the feeling of your long hair draped over his shoulder and around his face, tapping against his shoulders as you issued your non-verbal response made him only more enamored as he smirked against your neck.

"Mmm..good....now let me accomplish mine."

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Authors note: I'm sure....you all know what had transpired afterwards ;)

#heeseung hard hours #heeseung x reader #heeseung smut #heeseung scenarios #enha x reader #heeseung hard thoughts #heeseung fanfic #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enha heeseung

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speedofsoundsketches · 1 year

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I like you’re shadow and jolt comic giving me insperstion to create my own comic with my oc and shadow tbh I pictured my oc and shadow doing the same as shadow and jolt which is giving me courage to do my own comic with them fancomic obviously but do you have any tips on how development of a comic would work how long did it take for you to plan the comic

I've been working on this comic for about five years this coming November. From the start of developing the story to when the first comics were posted, it was about a three or four month long period of early development.

To be honest, I'm never NOT developing the comic. Each update is sort of treated as a self-contained session and while I have a plan of how everything connects, you don't really know how it'll actually work out until you're making the pages themselves and piecing the puzzle pieces together to make it all coherent. If you go to my Patreon, you'll see all the raw, first drafts of my comics and how much they changed in the final pages.

The following are my personal tips but I highly recommend also reading this post by the creator of Lackadaisy on the same subject. I followed her example for my work a lot and thankfully she's open about her secrets. :)

Tip #1: Know what your End Goal is for your comic

A lot of eager hopefuls start with a strong passion for their stories and it seems clear in your head how it will pan out. Over time, your interest starts to dwindle, passion is replaced with procrastination, writer's block occurs and you wonder why this thing you loved so much has become a total chore.

This is often due to not knowing the overall POINT to making your comic at all. What's the theme? The message? What do you and your audience GET out of it?

Shadow and Jolt has a clear progression and ending in mind that all relates to the Themes and Messages I want to impart to my readers. Try dissecting your favorite Sonic stories (or any story in general) and analyze why you like them and what made them impactful to you. Determine their themes and messages then observe how each part of the story, character arcs and such were written to serve them. What were the creators trying to tell you or make you experience?

That's the difference between a story with intention versus one that's confused or directionless. Because even during writer's block, if you know what message you're trying to tell, it gives you a lighthouse to paddle towards and keep you from getting lost in the ocean of vague notions.

Tip #2: Script It Out!

Before I ever drew a single comic for Shadow and Jolt, the first thing I did to help me develop a more solid plan was to write scripts. Some were fully realized with dialogue and action sequences. Others were outlines to help me see the full picture from beginning to end.

I've written over 30 different scripts. Many are just a few pages each but some are about 50+ pages.

And guess what? Every single one of them STINK.

These are not my best work because they don't need to be. They're meant for playing around with character dialogues, motivations, relationships and manner of speech. If a script resonates with me enough, I'll try doing a draft of it in comic form to see how it feels on paper and continue tweaking things from there. It was such a horribly cliche story at first but it's ok because to determine what's wrong, I need to see it actually in front of me and not as some ethereal mess of images in my mind.

Tip #3: Gather, Research and Conceptualize

I cannot stress enough how much doing this has helped with this project.

References I used included the games I liked the most, their production history, interviews with Sonic Team, compiled images/inspirations I found around the internet, etc. I used all this material to strengthen the ideas I had so I could start drawing concepts.

Characters, vehicles, environments.... everything and anything gets concepts. Lots of sketches, sometimes with color. I've possibly gone through almost 10+ sketchbooks for just Shadow and Jolt alone. There were a lot of things that needed testing and fleshing out, especially because it's such a big project. (and I'm just one little ol' me ;-;)

From the beginning, the plan was that Shadow and Jolt would be based on the games so my research was spent digging into the entire timeline and reminding myself of what the games are about and how to capture their essence as close as I can. I'm not sure what setting you plan to base this story on but you'll have a different set of research to do if you plan to include things from something else like Archie, Boom or whatever.

Tip #4: BEWARE SCOPE CREEP

In game development, teams start by deciding on the full scope of the project and settle on what's going to be in the game. The team makes projections on how long it'll take to complete it, set deadlines and then move to act on it.

A few weeks into production, maybe you decide to add a new animated action for the main character. Maybe then you add in a new weapon that will require another full move set to program and animate. Maybe you want to add a new character that you came up with during lunch. Maybe you have a whole extra side quest that adds a whole new plot point that adds even MORE characters who all have unique functions and animations you'll have to make-

See how quickly that can happen? That's scope creep. You start adding way more than was initially planned, thus it ends up extending the time it takes to actually finish the project.

Obviously, it's less dire than a product meant for sale but the lessons are the same. With any changes you make, be mindful of how that's going to effect you getting the story done and if it even really adds anything to your End Goal.

Remember, you only have so much energy in a given day to dedicate to your comic. Manage it wisely!

Tip #5: Live life!

This is a bit of an odd one maybe but for me at least, it's super valuable.

I've mentioned in previous posts how real world experiences helped inspire my comic. Part of what makes Sonic's world feel so lived in is the dedication the team put into making each level feel that way! Sonic Unleashed is maybe the best example of this point. I feel that Sonic was made by people who not only wanted to make a fun game series but who use it to celebrate the actual act of adventure. Living life, seeing new sights, meeting new people, eating unique cuisine, you catch my drift!

Some of my best ideas came from having a lived experience. You won't be able to write authentic stories staying in a bubble of your own making. Outside of my fancomic, I like going on long walks, exploring places or simply hanging out with my friends. So my final suggestion for you is to live a full life and be inspired by it! Nothing beats reality anyway. :)

#art help #Shadow and Jolt #fancomic #comic #Sonic #thoughts #asks #ramble #webcomics #advice

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jtl07 · 4 months

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jtl07 fics, 2023 round up(ish)

So I do an admittedly intense EOY reflection / SOY preparation every December but I’ve never really done a review of my writing for the year. Part of it is that, after over a decade of not writing fic, I didn’t start writing fic again until 2021. Crazy enough, my output this year was more than those two years combined (almost twice over!).

Tbh part of me almost felt guilty to realize that. I mean, here I am, recovering from one of the hardest times in my life, writing fic. But then a small part of me whispered, what’s wrong with that? Just because I’m healing doesn’t mean I have to suffer.

So I’m trying to take joy in what I’ve done this year and honestly, I’m proud what I’ve written. I truly cannot pick out a favorite because all of them mean so much to me. As I mentioned in the last fic review, reading and writing fic has played a huge role in how I process things and express myself; to have had this time to relearn how to write (with all its frustration and joy), to discover new things, to explore new characters, to connect with so many folks, it’s meant a lot. It’s helped me move forward, it’s helped me hold on.

So thank you - you, reading this, y’all who’ve read anything I’ve written, who’ve liked and left kudos and comments and messages - thank you, so, so much.

[some stats and random thoughts under the cut]

Because I’m me, I went into nerd-mode and used Flamebyrd’s ao3 bookmarklet to pull my fic stats earlier this month. I drew up some tables and charts and used lots of colors (what’s a spreadsheet without conditional formatting?)

(just one of the many sheets in the workbook I drew up lol)

After looking at different interactions (hits, kudos, comments, percentages of each), I came up roughly with my “top” fics and “bottom” fics (focusing on avatrice fics because that was the bulk of my writing this year).

Top 5:

Customer feedback surveys for Bar La Vasseur

past tense, future perfect

that melts the blood inside our veins

looks for you in everything (finds you there)

propose (now am found)

I’m not surprised by the surveys fic being at the top - I still giggle at that one and it gets kudos pretty regularly. It’s easy to read with a unique premise and I’m generally happy with the execution.

I am surprised, however, that propose shot up so high so quickly - the top three had been published early in the year (Feb-Mar) but propose was posted just last month. I suppose there was something about the premise - a different take on an Avatrice proposal - that must have resonated with folks.

Bottom 5: 18. so different now from what it seemed 19. we both know how this ends 20. the long, delirious, burning blue 21. late night vigil 22. can’t go back

I’m curious about the ranking of some of these fics - for example, that melts the blood inside our veins was my first amnesia fic and is in the top 5, but my second amnesia fic, so different now from what it seemed, is in the bottom 5. Perhaps it’s the difference in premise, perhaps the execution - who knows. (I’m not mad, just “huh.”)

I’m not surprised about the others though: a video game crossover, a military propaganda movie AU, an Avatrice+Cam threesome (fun fact: the doc title was simply “ABC” for a while lol), and a moody “what if” speculation - none of them fit the mold of “popular” lol

Now that I think of it, though, I did try new things with some of these fics: the tone and action of we both know how this ends is one I don’t usually do; I rarely do a retelling of other media (I know the long, delirious, burning blue doesn’t follow the Maverick movie exactly but still), not to mention having that twist at the end; I’m still very much learning how to be comfortable writing intimacy (I still don’t know where late night vigil came from lol); and can’t go back was an exercise that stretched my brain thinking of the different ways Beatrice’s life could have changed.

Slight tangent: I am, however, surprised that pocketful was so low - it’s #17 in the rankings (it’s just shy of 900 hits as of this writing) - only because I thought it got quite the heartwarming response initially. I received some of my favorite comments on that one (though to be clear, I love all the comments I receive! Such gifts, comments) That said, I can acknowledge that the premise does sound a bit odd. I mean, cmon, a fic about pockets? What even?

That said, I can’t promise that my ideas won’t be any less weird next year lol. There are some ideas that I think will carry over but I’m certain there will be plenty of new and unusual ideas that will pop into my head in the year to come.

I also can’t promise that my output will be as high as it was this year, what with some upcoming changes to my life (new job! moving, hopefully relatively soon, to a new state!) and general life-ness. I do intend to keep writing, though, at least that’s the goal.

Anyway, I think I’ll wrap this up here - if you have any questions or comments, feel free to reply here or drop an ask or DM. In any case, thanks again for hanging out with me and I hope your holidays and new year is safe and full of light <3

#jt writes fic #jt's fic recap #words about my words

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ruelin024 · 26 days

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*apppears in your askbox like the absolute gremlin i am* mmm a few questions heuehhuehehue fav sans? fav ship (if oyu have one, that includes self insert)? and will you ever do ditys and if so, how long do you think?

😖You've been in my inbox for 5+ days, since for some reason, as simple as the questions are, I couldn't seem to pinpoint my favorites.

Like if you asked me my favorite anime, book, etc. My head goes whoosh then my damn brain turns into a smooth mofo.

Sorry if the reply is too long, I dunno if I went off topic, I probably did?

I love a lot of things… Yes. I would make a list… but then I wouldn’t stop. If I had to settle for one Sans, it’d be OG Classic. The Origin, The Legend, The #1 Tumblr Sexyman, Sans the Skeleton. The other top fav Sans at the top of my list would be Fell, Horror, Lust, and Nightmare, and it goes on.

But to tell yah the truth I am more of a Papyrus Simp, I realize this sometimes whenever I come across any type of OG or AU Papyrus art. It’s a hard choice. My mind and body goes to Sans, but in a way my affection is with both, but mostly Papyrus. I don't know if that makes sense, it feels like two-timing. I should draw more of Papyrus, even out the simping scales. $￣︶￣*$

I just love drawings Sans a lot tbh. q(≧▽≦q)

In terms of ships? (I heard the topic of shipping can be complicated or an issue) ... So. Hmm. from what I've self-evaluated to myself. I don't really have a favorite... :D I think? Cause most of the time I choose to neither like nor dislike because love and hate are too strong of an emotion for me to deal with. Disliking things makes me feel tired and I can only handle so much fangirling/boying before my feral emotional levels exceed my capacity to remain conscious. With the amount of words I’ve said so far, I am proving I am a walking contradiction.

Anyway, I'm a welcome all-type of person, I'm neutral as long as no harm is being done. Meaning I am the type to also dabble in a ton of things. (゜-゜) (´◑ω◐`)

(Either I am what I say I am🤔, or I just haven't known/met the wrong people enough in my life to feel the need/want to make a whole DNI list 😅.)

The first ship I drew was y/n x sans au and I have drawn Error and Blue together for a cute ditys. I've been meaning to attempt drawing more ships, but not at the moment.

One insert ship I'm into at this time, that I can recall at the top of my head is an artist called @/mothiepixie (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) 😆💖

Also! I actually made it to 100 followers last month! I wanted to make a dtiys on such an occasion, but someone did a wrist twist move on me and now I can't exert my fingers or wrist that much, so I'm doing doodles or working on past WIP I've already started on ever so slowly.

I haven't gotten the chance to figure out what I’d draw exactly for a dtiys. If I were to make one now, it’d be at least 2-4 months to maybe a whole year in duration, depends.

Would I make prizes? I'd probably give everyone who participated a simple drawn prize for my first DTIYS (maybe☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)), then for the next DTIYSs I would do top 3 or 4-5 five winners.

Welp, tis my answer you absolute gremlin, handing me the most complicated question which I indeed sure overcomplicated and being in the back of my head for the past few days. 🤣👌💕 Thank you! 😂

#answered #thank you for the ask!#i talk too much #sorry for the late reply #hopefully you've got yer answers :D #hopefully this makes sense

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sir-kuroo · 6 months

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SINCE ITS TETSUREIII SZN!!!! I AM HEREEE WITHHHH TEH A LITTOL Q/A EHEHEH

WHERE DID ALL THIS BEGINNN FROMMM !!! TEH FRIST PAGE OF TETSUREIII STORYYY <33

TELLL MEEEEEEEE EVERYTHINGGG!!!!!!!!

For how it all began:

It was love at first sight for the both of us. Like you see a person and you just fit like missing puzzle pieces. We talked like it wasn't our first time seeing each other. The crowd just faded and it seemed like it's just the two of us. We knew we would never forget that moment but we have to part ways. Days or months passed maybe even a year and it became just a distant memory. Maybe something I drew an inspiration from for my story, until we met again at a different circumstance. This time it's no longer a one time thing and he won't allow it to be a one-time thing either. We just picked up where we left off and we both knew that this was it. It might be an ordinary story for some but it was serendipitous for us, knowing that all the heartaches, loneliness and solitude we endured are what led us to each other. Finally, we're at the right place and right time with the right person.

We're friends first, because I came off a little detached he knew it would take time but he was patient. Started with sending funny memes and reels until he gauged what I liked. Scheduled phone calls bc I dont do well in chats until it became a habit for us to call each other at that specific time and day. We talked about anything that we could expand, our theories, our day, rant abt officemates. He debated with me for fun throwing what ifs scenarios. Then he began being more physically present. Going to my office to pick me up. Taking me out on a friendly date. He wasn't flirty at first until he smoothly transitioned being INTJ x ENTP friendship to lovers bc the chemistry and the hidden tension can't be denied anyway. He made me feel secured to be with him. Like I'm free. Free to fall, to love and to be myself.

below the cut is how I ended up simping for him teheee

I was really into Oikawa. He's my first love which I learned to get over just now bc I miss Kuroo in a way I don't miss Oikawa. (Why does this sound so real?) Ngl, it's Kuroo I found to be most attractive but he seemed so unattainable for me that I did a pass. At first, I just love writing for him because a mutual loves him very much and my readers always fangirl for him in my fics and all the requests I'm getting are for Kuroo Kuroo Kuroo even if I even voluntarily write for Oikawa. Lol. I was like okaaay. Until I asked for match ups and ask games and I ended up getting him over and over again too. Tell me about it. Haha. Then I posted some selfship stuff abt Oikawa and I got nothing. I posted that I got Kuroo for an ask game and everyone just idk interacted and I was like uhmm what? Even my moots from other fandom are into the tetsurei agenda. What are these people seeing that I'm not seeing? Like yeah he's handsome and he wears suit and tie which I love but...anyway lol just lol hahaha. (Gosh, I sounded so in denial on this) It's funny that we even work in the same field. A follower even pointed it out. Tbh I still can't understand where they are coming from. As time passed by, I enjoyed our ship more than anything else. He's all I can think to write about. TBH IDK! Hahaha! This made me reread all my kuroo fics and wondered howww? I reread the oldest one back in Dec 2020. It didn't do things for me then but it gave me the feels now. I even forgot what it was but the way I wrote for him never changed. I realized that in all the Y/Ns I wrote for all the characters, I've been writing myself whenever it's with Kuroo. I just realized it now. Maybe that's why it's easier for ppl to associate him with me too bc it shows. I still dk! But whatever I love him. I'd love to have a Kuroo just for me.

I think I'm oblivious like real life oblivious. Oh well. (Good luck to all the intj simps out there: I'm talkin for Rin, Tsukki, Akaashi, Geto, Niko) We're dense af and in denial. Good luck.

#tetsurei #AHHHHHHHHH I SQUEALLLLL BC IF THIS ASK #sml 💗💗💗#—💟 zen #—💌 mail #TYSM BBY ZEN HUHUHUHU THABK YOU FOR INDULGING MEE

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auspicious-manner · 2 years

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My request comes with a mini rant. So, something that's always bothered me in Episode 2 of Panic is that not ONCE does anyone ask Dodge if he's okay. That man just fought for his life trying not to fall to his death—which HAD to hurt his shoulder hanging by one arm like that. No one may have known why he was upset with Ray, but he CLEARLY was. So everyone just watches him go through physical pain, then emotional pain, then MORE physical pain when Ray hits him back, and NO ONE thinks to ask him if he's alright. Not Natalie. Not Heather. NO ONE. All of the attention goes to Natalie when she hurts her ankle, which I understand, but it still makes me so sad for Dodge. That brings me to my request. Do you think you could write an alternative ending where the reader asks Dodge if he's okay after all of that and he lets his guard down? (PS, sorry for ranting at you.)

FACTS. after that happened literally everyone forgot about how dodge was mere inches from death 😭 he deserved so much better tbh

female reader x dodge

warnings: none

Grounded

•

dodge mason wasn’t known for being much of a people person. there were very few people he talked to in town, one of them being Y/N.

they weren’t really even friends. but, if they happened to run into each other, they had some nice conversations. Y/N liked the chill energy he carried, and dodge liked that she was very comfortable and confident with herself and her abilities. maybe they found solace in each other because both of them weren’t exactly popular.

Y/N entered panic to earn money so she could get out of carp and attend college. her family was definitely not rich, or even middle class. every month, her family barely had enough money to survive.

going into the challenge at the granary, Y/N was oddly excited. the challenge was going to be scary, but that energized her. she reveled in that feeling as she thought it made her perform better.

she hung to the back of the crowd when the challenge begun. as she wasn’t the most popular in school, she preferred to be on her own.

they all watched the first player, drew santiago, cross the beam. although she didn’t realize it, she held her breath the entire time drew was walking across. when he made it to the end, she let out a sigh of relief.

summer reached in to the hat she was pulling names out of, and she unfolded the slip of paper she had picked.

“Y/N L/N, you’re up!”

a few people within the crowd gave short pity claps. the crowd didn’t give her the cheers like they gave everyone else. however, she met eyes with dodge, and he was one of the few clapping. Y/N smiled to herself.

she confidently walked to the ladder and climbed up, not looking down. if she hesitated even for a second, she would chicken out. it was higher than it seemed from below.

she planted her feet on the beam, and kept her focus on the the stretch ahead of her.

“okay Y/N, your time starts now!”

she took carefully planned steps, and she tightened her core to keep her from wobbling. she took deep breaths to calm her mind as she walked. before she knew it, she was across to the other side.

the crowd let out a few cheers. “congrats, you made it across in 30 seconds, which means you’re still in the game!”

she smiled and climbed down the ladder. when her feet touched the ground, she savored the solid dirt below her.

a few more people went and succeeded, and finally, it was dodge’s turn. like her, he boldly walked to the ladder and made his way up, fear not present anywhere in his body.

diggins announced his time had started, and dodge remained collected upon the towering beam. all was going well until dodge violently wobbled, and caught himself on the beam before he could fall to the ground.

Y/N gasped along with everyone else. she wasn’t sure what made dodge wobble, but it had to have been something on ground level. knowing dodge, he wouldn’t have just lost his balance over nothing.

he held on for his life with one arm, and slowly but surely, he was able to bring his other arm up and swung himself back onto the beam before getting settled and standing up, resulting in cheer from the crowd. finally, dodge made it across safely. dodge was still in the game.

the crowd erupted in cheers, and as soon as dodge’s feet touched the ground, he walked over to ray before pushing him back. Y/N wasn’t sure what ray did, but she knew it had something to do with dodge almost plummeting to his death.

dodge pulled away, but ray made a snarky remark causing dodge to turn back around and punch him in the face, kickstarting a brawl between the two boys.

the energy only intensified when police sirens and lights filled everyone’s eyesight. the red and blue lights reflected off of every surface, and Y/N felt like she couldn’t move. she was a deer in headlights.

then, before she could react, dodge took her arm and ran away with her into the trees in the distance.

when they reached a clearing and were finally far enough way, they stopped and sat down side by side on a fallen tree, catching their breath.

“thanks for dragging me away. when i saw the lights my body just… froze. i didn’t know what to do.”

dodge nodded. “it was nothing, don’t worry about it.”

there was a pause. “you did really good up there,” dodge told her. “you didn’t look afraid at all.”

“i shouldn’t be getting the praise. you saved yourself from near death, that is a true feat.”

there was more silence, and then Y/N spoke up again. “by the way, are you okay? i mean, hanging from a beam way above the ground like that couldn’t have been easy.”

dodge turned to look at her. “why do you care?”

“because i can tell it’s weighing on your conscience more than you even realize, and i’m the only one that seems to notice it.”

dodge looked straight forward again. “i didn’t ask you to delve into the inner workings of my mind, you know.”

“you didn’t have to ask, i did it anyway.” Y/N replied.

“only a handful of us got to experience that walk. it wasn’t easy, it was a lot scarier up there than one would think. i get what you’re feeling, more than anyone.” she continued.

“i appreciate the unsolicited concern, but genuinely, i’m fine.” dodge said sharply.

Y/N thought about it. “then why are you deflecting?”

dodge gave her a small smile. “you really are relentless, aren’t you?” Y/N nodded happily, prompting a laugh from dodge.

“fine, you win. i was content up until ray hall used a laser pointer on my chest. i got distracted, and i fell. since you’re not going to let me say otherwise, i guess i was scared when i was hanging on to the beam. it was a split second of pure fear, only when i was only able to hang on with one arm though.”

he took a shallow breath. “and i was even more worried about being out of the game. i need to win, Y/N, and if i got eliminated from the second challenge based on time simply because ray hall is an asshole, i wouldn’t have forgiven myself. you don’t know it, but there’s a lot riding on me winning.”

dodge sighed. “when i got down, all the anger in my body accidentally exploded on to ray. he deserved it, no doubt about it, but it didn’t work out great for me in the end because he did land a good punch or two.”

Y/N soaked in all the information. she took note of dodge rubbing his arm. “is your arm okay?”

“this? oh yeah, i’m okay. sure, it does hurt, but nothing i can’t handle. i might have torn the muscle a bit from holding onto the beam.”

“you’re stronger than i ever could be. i couldn’t dream of doing something like that.” she told him.

“when you’re in panic, you have to be prepared for anything. especially laser pointers on your chest when you’re trying not to fall off a suspended beam way above the ground.” dodge joked, causing Y/N to laugh.

Y/N turned to look at dodge, and when he noticed her, he turned to look at her as well.

“i appreciate you asking if i was okay. i know i was cold at first, and i’m sorry about that, but i guess i’m thankful for your persistence. not many people in this town have actually asked me if i��m okay, or have cared to actually talk to me about this.”

“it’s nothing, i was just helping out a friend. i would do it for you any time.” Y/N said back.

dodge smiled. “so we’re friends now?”

“yeah, why not?” she asked. “it’s not like we have other friends we can talk to.”

“you didn’t need to remind me of my sad reality.” dodge said, lightly shoving her with his shoulder.

“it’s not just your reality, it’s mine too. us outcasts have to stick together, right?”

dodge grinned. “right.”

#mike faist #mike faist imagine #panic on prime #mike faist x reader #dodge mason imagine #dodge mason x reader #dodge mason

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system-of-a-feather · 10 months

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God, yesterday my middle sister (lets call her B; the one that used to bully me and honestly if you asked our like 14 year old self "Who is your main abuser" theyd PROBABLY say our middle sister) messaged me and asked "Would you be mad if I talked to [other sister (lets call M; who tbh if you asked us now who was the most harmful abuser, she'd probably be the one wed pick)]"

And I had a whole positive whiplash moment cause I had NEVER asked her (B) not to and I had assumed she still was (despite her also not really enjoying my M's company and conversation) and to both find out she hadn't been talking to her since AT LEAST christmas 2022 AND that she was genuinely checking that I'd be okay before starting was just

An unexpected and astounding level of allyship, consideration, and care that I never thought I'd ever see demonstrated without prompting from someone in my family cause it really never did until yesterday

Apparently the complex abuse and what not is "between us" in the sense that on its own shed refrain from being a part of it while supporting me - but she drew the line at her blatant transphobia and Im just like

.....

Am I being taken into consideration???

Like I really don't care (i mean a part of me has schadenfreude over realizing its been 6 months since she had any sibling contact, but that is a feeling I will acknowledge and respect cause its fair, but not feed cause it serves me little benefit beyong acknowledging where I am compared to where I was before) about who and what is interacting with M so long as M doesn't get any details on my life and existence and stays out of it until shes ready to be a worthwhile person. While schadenfreude exists, I (XIV does though) don't have any malice or hopes that she suffers anymore than her own life choices naturally creates and so I have no need to bar any family members in a me vs her manner beyond the basic "keep her in the dark about my life cause that is a privilege shes lost" so her asking is a "Whatever" to me

But... to be asked about something I dont care about when there is fair reason for me to care is so... nice?

Honestly my middle sister has long since made up for the literal 16-20 years of bullying, harrassment, and honestly adding gas to the fire that is the neglect we went through at our parents hand - all on just the like year and half that we've been on good / decent terms

She made my childhood overtly hellish, but honestly, as overt as her shit was, it had one of the least long lasting effects due to it being, well, overt compared to a lot of the others that were far more insidious

Either way, its just me going to say that Im astounded at this experience and development and am glad to see my family starting to heal and grow from the cycle of abuse and leave our trauma authentically behind us for a better life overall

#alter: riku #riku rambles #recovery #ptsd #c-ptsd

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gimmethatagustd · 2 years

Text

only here to sin (final teaser) | kth

When your genius of a boyfriend returns to Harvard for his sophomore year of college, you never would have expected to have his worst enemy keeping you entertained in his absence.

She text me I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you But how the fuck can you hate me?

When I ain't did shit, but be the real thing She know I'm the real, that'll never change I never been the one, to try to explain While you catch them feels I'ma sip on this drank

» pairing: fuckboy!taehyung x fem!reader (ft. namjoon)

» genre: BTS | 18+ | enemies to lovers | smut | angst

» release date: september 17, 2022

» teaser wc: 689

» notes: i know i've taken AGES to finish this series. tbh i was just gonna leave it as a 3-part, but i realized i wanted more ~closure~ for the characters. i hope part 4 also answers some questions i left unanswered *cough*whythefuckistaehyunglikethis*cough* pls enjoy this teaser to remind you of the mess that is ohts!

» series masterlist | join my taglist

» what was jai listening to? a fuckboy spotify playlist

“Jagiya,” Taehyung murmured, running his hand along your thigh in a soothing massage. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You shook your head and dried your tears. All you felt was a deep-rooted numbness that started in the middle of your chest, seeping into every crevice and limb. Brynn said sometimes with emotions there was nothing to do but ride the wave.

You were going to ride the wave.

Taehyung led you to his apartment, his fingers intertwined with yours to make sure you were keeping up. Nothing passed before your eyes as you stumbled behind him; you barely saw or heard anything but the back of Taehyung’s leather jacket and white noise flooding your ears. There was nothing else for you.

Inside, Taehyung watched you stand frozen in the doorway for a few seconds too long before it eventually unnerved him.

“Y/N, take your shoes off and come here,” he said in a strong voice, hoping to cut through whatever was going on in your head.

With a sigh, you kicked your shoes off and dragged yourself towards Taehyung. You pressed your face against his broad chest and loosely wrapped your arms around his waist. Just as the night you’d broken up with Namjoon, you felt Taehyung tense beneath the hug, and it took him a moment to ease up. His hands found your waist and drew you flush against his body.

“I hate that you’re the only person I can go to.”

“I know.”

Taehyung’s hands tucked inside of your cardigan to find the hem of your shirt. He slipped his hands beneath the fabric, giving himself access to your bare waist. You shivered as he traced patterns into your skin with his fingertips.

“Wanna smoke?”

You tilted your head back to look at his face, admiring his muscular neck and sharp jawline. In the past couple of months when the two of you hadn’t spent much time together, Taehyung had changed. His lanky body had filled in more, seemingly more muscular. He also lived alone; Jungkook moved in with his girlfriend. You found it interesting that Taehyung’s friends were beginning to settle down. You wondered if he was still fucking other people.

Smoking with him was a really bad idea.

“Sure.”

You followed Taehyung to the living room, plopping down on his couch while you watched him grind up weed he plucked from a glass jar. The veins in his hands popped as he twisted the grinder and picked out the pieces he wanted. Those long fingers expertly rolled a joint with a rolling paper that had little cartoon grapes printed on it. You couldn’t stop yourself from remembering the last time you had those hands on you when Taehyung fingered you during your picnic at the local forest reserve. You remembered how secure you’d felt with your back leaned against his chest, your legs hooked around his so he could keep you spread open for him. The way you licked and sucked his fingers clean when he was done.

“Here.” Taehyung’s deep voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You took the now lit joint from his fingers and brought it to your lips. “You still like the grape, right?”

You nodded, exhaling a thick cloud of smoke that made Taehyung’s figure waver in front of you. “I haven’t smoked with anyone else.”

He nodded, taking the joint back from you. The two of you sat in relative silence, only murmuring comments about the weed or for you to get an update about Jungkook’s new place. It was nice to sit, to simply exist, and let the high lift your mood and have your body buzz.

“You can do whatever you want now,” Taehyung commented, tapping the joint against an ashtray on the coffee table. “Go where you want, do what you want, see who you want.”

“But not with you, right?” You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his bloodshot eyes with yours, instead choosing to inspect the glass jar of weed on the table.

“You can do whatever you want with me, baby girl,” Taehyung countered.

Whatever you wanted. With one condition.

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winecupwars · 1 year

Text

progress report: year-end edition

we went a full year without one of these funky little things, can you believe it? well let's get back into it. here's my 2022, all wrapped up :)

some neat things that happened this year:

my 28th birthday! i remember looking for songs that mention being 28 and they were all forlorn, with lyrics like "i'm 28... is it too late?" like. hello? you're in your late twenties, not turning into dust. i swear, society's obsession with being young and thinking that life ends at 30 is the cause of so much unnessary pain and worry. aging is a gift! let yourself grow old!!

first time to vote in a national election!! the one i voted for didn't win, sadly, and the one who won is an inept corrupt piece of shit who i wish would get the comeuppance he and his entire family deserves. i hate them so much. but enough about that.

my first work anniversary! as of now, this is the longest i've worked at any company. and i still like my job, amazingly. i can see myself working here for the next few years.

went through a battery of blood tests and doctors appointments, which all came down to this conclusion: i need to lose weight and fix my diet. which i am doing now! i am eating somewhat better, and exercising semi-regularly. i'm working on it.

i have a girlfriend now!!!!! we've been together a month and a few weeks as of this december hehe. i'm happy :)

i took a pottery class and realized that it's challenging and expensive. on the fence about pursuing it as a hobby, tbh

wrote some moz/ulysses stuff that i posted on ao3 and on my fallout tumblr!! drew a bunch of fallout oc art as well. finally made an oc page with all new art, for example. check it out if you want!

got my first tattoo!! it's of the skull from the skeleton on the cover of the black parade, with lyrics from famous last words. it's so nice and now i want another one. they can be addicting!

started a vinyl collection finally!!!!

wrote up an entire thing about my plans for kapitan kwek kwek, as well as a script for the first story!! i was about to draw when i got distracted by my gf ahahahahhaha

learned how to make browned butter horlicks cookies! i think they're going to be my signature cookies now.

there are definitely more things that happened that i've forgotten about lmao but those are the big ones that immediately came to mind.

as for the media that i experienced this year - i dedicated an entire notebook to it, with ratings and little blurbs of how the thing made me feel. it's cool, and i recommend doing it. reading back on those entries, i think here's my top pieces of media for this year:

book: i'm glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy

i didn't read a lot of books this year, but this was the one that i fully enjoyed the most, despite its subject matter. after reading, i just want the best for jennette. her life has been nothing short of tragic, and she writes about it so simply and yet so impactfully.

series: amc's interview with the vampire

there were soooo many good shows that i watched this year. our flag means death, the bear, abbott elementary, arcane, etc etc, but this one. this one. kept me on the edge of my seat for the few weeks it was on air. my cousins and i were hooked! it's doing its own thing and that's what makes it a great adaptation. best show of the year, by a mile.

movie: nocebo (2022) dir. lorcan finnegan

i watched this with my girlfriend in the cinema, during the qcinema festival. i honestly only wanted to watch it because i was curious about whether it'll be racist towards filipinos, but surprisingly, it wasn't! it's a filipino-irish (!) film that is ugh so good and so subtle and so magical and heavy. justice for all kentex workers, and for all workers like them, who are being paid poverty wages and worked to the bone in terrible conditions, all for foreign bosses who could not care less about thier wellbeing. we will have our justice.

youtube

album: the loneliest time by carly rae jepsen

it was a toss-up between this, laurel hell by mitski, and dance fever by florence and the machine, but in the end, carly rae jepsen's pop masterpiece won. it's just fun, and more of carly's signature pop flavor. top three songs: sideways, bends, and bad thing twice. though, honestly? all songs are top-tier.

i'm happy to be doing this again! i need to get back in the groove of writing, to be honest. and what is the point of a blog if i don't, well, blog? so. here. see you all again in a week!

#progress report #shh peri shhh

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manifestingmatcha · 2 years

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Okay, so my team lead (47m) was making me (26f) super uncomfortable touching and caressing me every time he walked past my desk. He’s always given me a gross vibe since we’ve been here but today he really turned it up cause it’s his last day before changing sites. I dreaded asking him for help and the last time I did he came and laid his head on my shoulder and asked to see me without my mask on and was just wildly inappropriate. He KNOWS I don’t like it, I always pull away and am visibly disgusted and say stop! We are independent contractors doing travel contracts 🌎✈️, and getting someone in HR’s attention can be so tedious. Pretty much a different state (or 3) each month. I tell the girl next to me who I had befriended that he was making me uncomfortable and she just gives me a blank stare and as soon as I take my lunch she ran to him to tell him and warn him of any repercussions if i were to take action! I was shocked. Turns out altho she has a bf she cheats on him constantly and I think she may be fucking the team lead as well. Things I wish I had taken note of that may have tipped me off that we were incompatible as friends and do not share the same moral compass before I befriended her:

- she prides herself on being tomboyish and LOVES sports and watching the game at bars with men like ‘one of the guys’. When we went out to a bar she was screaming at the tv watching the game like a man.

- I now realize she thinks it’s cute to have a roster of men (low value included) and to have sex with them on a rotation, like being a player or a pimp. Female pumps are so classless and tasteless to me. She was annoyed one of her bfs was sending her paragraphs of adoration and asked me if I WANTED him. Like an old pair of sneakers! Just offered up her boyfriend 😨

- she constantly says she is ‘so private’ but you can learn way too much from her IG bio and posts!

- she thinks it’s cute to be in her mind 30s and constantly clubbing and bar hopping

- yesterday she tried to make me feel bad for not being ‘hood enough’, speaking proper English and overall being bougie and constantly commented aloud and drew attention to how I’d drink Diet Coke, avoid processed sugars/junk food, and I eat charcuterie boards. So I started hiding my Diet Cokes in my lunchbox.

I thought because we are both in a six figure job and starting up small businesses that we’d mesh well and just have different personalities. But I may be wrong and I think it’s time to reel it in and re evaluate friendships on my journey. I have a very small circle with only the closest of friends and I think this was a reminder to continue to focus on me in my journey. The wrong friendships can cause us to regress.

Do you have any advice on approaching friendships and relationships as a young and affluent hypergamous woman from your experiences so far? It’s okay if not! I am the youngest by far on every travel contract and only older nasty men seem to have eyes for me, and it’s difficult to find equally minded young women to befriend. I am luxury apt hunting now, and looking to build my social circle to debut as an artist in a nicer area soon hopefully, and am trying to become a full time content creator eventually.🤍 and thank you for listening because I’m so private and this was really my only way to vent to someone🤍✨ have the *best* day.

Tbh I had to google the definition of hypergamy I don’t really subscribe to labels. I think it’s a red flag that she went and told your boss about the inappropriate conduct like women are supposed to support each other. There’s no such thing as being “not hood enough” or “too white” you’re literally just being yourself. She sounds like a toxic pick me that should mind her own business. I would just keep your distance from her keep it professional and cordial don’t tell her anything more than she needs to know. Focus on yourself your work and cultivating your other female friendships. I hope this helps good luck with your work and finding a beautiful apartment.🤍

#personal

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seahdalune · 4 months

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SeahDaLune's 2019 art recap

(Note: this is a reupload of a thread i did on twitter a few years back. so these are really old.)

Since the decade of 2010 is almost over, I decided to make a thread of my best drawings from 2019! (Yes, 2019. I didn’t like the others, sooooo...)

January! I still lined my drawings with a pen back then... I would’ve lined my drawings now, but I’m now way too used at not lining XD The character I drew was a Pokémon FC called Sam, and was originally going to be one of the protagonists of an unmade comic.

February! I stopped lining my drawings starting from this one! Let’s just say I didn’t feel like erasing the lines that day. The character I drew here belongs to Sashley on YouTube! I remember being super proud of the fanart I made. I find it terrible TBH. [2023 note: wow, that's a name i haven't thought of in a while. does she still make animation memes? wait, she does still make animation memes.]

March! Nothing much to say, as nothing interesting happened that month. I remember being extremely busy with drawing someone’s OC for payment on DeviantArt though. This is one of the payments I drew! Still quite messy, even if it’s relevantly cleaner than the Sashley fanart.

April! This is where my coloring FINALLY starts looking better (If you just looked at one of my pre-May arts, you might see it) This character is actually a whale version of my OC, Yevi-Wii! Or maybe she’s a FC? I don’t know! I kinda want to redraw her soon. [2023 note: i never drew her ever again]

May! AKA my birth month! I drew a lot of my Deltarune AU characters on that month. This is one of the AU characters! He’s just a younger version of canon Seam. I should draw young Seam again.

June! I drew Ralsei a lot for some reason. I don’t think I knew how to draw goat bois back then. Not that I know how to now. This is one of the many Ralsei’s I drew! I, uh... don’t like it as much as I did then.

July! This is one of my top 3 favorites of 2019! The character here is Jevil! I used to like Jevil a lot. I like him now, just not as much as back then. I honestly like how happy he looks.

August! As I had just came back from America, my drawings were looking rusty. Thankfully, I managed to warm myself back. This is smol Muffet. She is very very smol. I now realize that I drew tons of child versions of Deltarune/Undertale characters.

September! As it was the month of Undertale’s anniversary, I drew something Undertale related! Yes, this is an Undertale character. I honestly cannot get enough of Undertale. Play Undertale. Praise Undertale. And don’t forget to pat the dog.

October! A month after that, is Deltarune’s anniversary! I drew Kris for this, as Kris is... very intriguing to me. I am rather proud of this one! I also love how it was captured by my phone too, as most of the time the drawing looks super crappy when taken picture.

November! Unfortunately, art block happened that month, so I couldn’t get anything properly done that month. So have a scribble of my BNHA OC, made on November.

December! The reason I have two here is because I couldn’t decide which one to choose! I modeled the clay figure after my camp friend J chan, who loved Todoroki! As for the drawing, it’s my OC Jei. He was originally an adopt I made, but I loved him so much so now he’s my son. [2023 note: i lost contact with J chan around 2020, when she deactivated her discord. that was my only form of contact with her so i basically lost her for good... though, i never talked to her much outside of camp after getting her discord so it was probably for the best. playground friends stay as playground memories, yaknow.]

And that’s the all the art highlights of 2019! (And the 2010s decade TBH) Thank you for supporting me on Twitter for the last 2 years! Mutuals, followers, or even the rando’s who retweeted my art! I appreciate all of what you did, as you helped me push my art to what it is now!

People I’d like to specially thank: [the many names that i either still talk to or have lost contact since] And many others I might have forgotten.

That’s all I have to say, so have a great New Years! And hope you have a great 2020s as well! Bye, 2010s! We will miss you!

#dalune recap 2019 #dalune recap #you can tell this was before the internet truely jaded me #because you could still see the light in my..... not eyes. but something like that in these words.

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xxsabitoxx · 2 years

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Sanemi Falls in Love for the First Time

Rengoku Version

Warnings: none

A/N: thank you for the request anon! Tbh this was so cute to write, I’m down to make it a series with other Hashira if people are interested~

The moment he saw you he was hooked

He just didn’t realize why

Something about you definitely drew him to you, but he’d sooner die than actually admit it

He’s absolutely oblivious to why he felt the things he did

He decided to go to Obanai just to chat and ended up taking about you. When he asked Obanai why you made him feel these “things” Obanai started laughing

“…you’re in love.” Sanemi is blinking at him with parted lips. “What?” No way, certainly Obanai was fucking with him. “Those things you described? That’s love. However, you’ve barely talked to them so let’s just say it’s a crush.”

Sanemi dead ass walked away from him after that.

He tries to act like Obanai’s words didn’t effect him…but they did.

Sanemi is now in the awkward stage of trying to talk to you but also dancing around you.

Mitsuri is the second person to notice his crush, this maybe the best or worst thing that’s ever happened to him

She actually starts taking to you about the wind pillar

While she’s too afraid to go tell Sanemi herself, she kinda plants the seeds in your mind that he has a thing for you

This causes you to go out of your way to try and talk to him

“S-shinazugawa sir?” You were petrified him, silently praying Mitsuri hadn’t been talking out of her ass. “Hmm?” He recognized your voice right away. “I was wondering if you’d like to go get a meal with me?” start bold start bold, don’t panic you’re fine…

you are having a low key mental breakdown Ngl

Sanemi is too tho, don’t worry

He gives you a little nod to say yes

Meanwhile he’s literally jumping through hoops and running marathons in his mind

Surprisingly it actually goes well for the two of you.

Definitely a little awkward but the intentions are clear

Sanemi definitely had a slow start to the whole romance thing since he likes to act big and tough

It isn’t until three months later of lunch dates and talking that he properly asks you out

Even after this though?? He gets so defensive any time someone asks him if he likes you

Like his feelings are so clear to you. Bit to everyone else?? Man is a sending mixed signals left and right

“So, you must really like her to ask her out.” Kyojuro’s booming voice made the white haired man flinch. “I don’t like her.” Huh? Kyojuro’s eyebrows raised in obvious confusion

It takes forever for Sanemi to get out of his own way tbh

It isn’t until you’ve been officially dating for a year that he realizes he can say he loves you around other people and not get embarrassed by it

He still gets super defensive when people point it out

That’s something that will most likely never change

He’s so clueless when it comes to love, that doesn’t stop him from trying to make you happy

#kny #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer imagines #demon slayer fanfic #demon slayer fluff #hashira #sanemi x y/n #sanemi x you #shinazugawa sanemi #sanemi imagines #kny sanemi #sanemi shinazugawa #demon slayer headcanons #demon slayer hashira

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redfoxwritesstuff · 2 years

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Of Dust and Ashes, Chapter 36

AN: Sorry for the delay. As I've said, I've got friends in both Russia and Ukraine, thus I've been a wee bit distracted. None of my Russian friends are for this war- one is still arrested for protesting and some of my Ukrainian friends are fighting. Glory to Ukraine- wish I could help..

Find my other work on the Masterlist- some angst, some fluff, some sexy smut for all flavors.

pairing: Clint x OFC Series rating: M Series warnings: adult themes, occasional smut, violence, mental health struggles- if it can be warned for, it’s probably in here at some point tbh Chapter warnings: implied smut, grief, drinking, misplaced anger and blame.

Kofi and Cashtag: $leeanneduyn (please never call me Leeanne- I hate my name)-

All donations and Kofi purchased and sent my way will go toward paying down my student loan debt. If every follower were to donate even just 75 cents each month, I could make my monthly payments when it resumes. I don’t expect nor hope for every follower to donate. But as the USA government won’t follow through on student loan forgiveness, I’m not above asking for help as this is a debt I was forced to take on by my abusive ex-husband. I wasn't able to pay much on my credit cards this week as gas prices have exploded and my husbands been our of work for a week ill.

Current balance as of 3/5/22: $45,612.83

Chapter 36: Hollow Anger

“And if I’m not?”

The words echoed in her head and heart. He was the one she counted on. It was him that she relied on. When the darkness of night was too much, when the sounds of screams and the bitter smell of smoke chased her to the realm of wakefulness, it was him she clung to.

It had been so long since Clint had shown the same weakness. So often, it seemed like she alone saw the ghosts of the house. She ignored them alone, assuming that she was the only one haunted.

Now, she could see what he had hid from her for so long. He was haunted just as much as she. How could she expect any less?

There was a reason she loved him and this was it. She loved him because he loved. He loved with all the strength he had. His love didn’t forget. His love didn’t replace. He didn’t need to replace the love for others with the love for her because he had an infinite amount of love.

But now, that love he couldn’t let go had left him sitting in the dark of what had once been the family home, hollow. Could she love him enough to fill that void, now that she saw it? She would try. She would try for as long as he would have her. She would try until he was tired of her. She would try until he sent her away. She would try until one of them died- preferably of old age.

“You can go back to bed.” The soft words drew her out of her thoughts.

“No.” She whispered and scooted the lamp to the far edge of the stair, making room for herself to sit close to him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” He said, knowing he should. “I can’t seem to put them to rest.”

“They where your kids.” She rested her head against his shoulder, wrapping her hand around his wrist lightly. “She was your wife.”

“Its not-” Words started and died in his throat. With a heavy sigh, he started again. “I’m not holding onto her. I’m not still-”

“I know. I believe you.” Reassuring words that she didn’t fully believe.

“I want to break it.” Clint said. It took her a moment to realize he was referring to the wooden shovel in his hands. “Snap it in half. Throw it in the fire. Burn it.”

“Okay.”

“But I can’t. I’ve been sitting here for fucking hours and I just- I can’t.”

“You don’t have to.” Dee whispers.

“I know you don’t feel… whatever here. At home?” His words slurred.

“I do.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Maybe at home isn’t exactly it. But I am home here. I feel at home here, with you, on the land and in the barn. But this house?”

“This damn house.”

“It’s not your fault. And for everything this house gives us, it’s worth it to me. You’re worth it to me.”

He let go of the shovel, letting it clatter to his feet, knocking the nearly empty bottle of whiskey over in the process. The sound of wood and glass clattering against the ground seemed far too loud in the dead of night.

Running his hands over his face and pushing his fingers back through his hair, he said “God, I’m being an idiot.”

Scooting closer to him, she rested her head on his knee, looking down at the date and names glaring up at her “You’re not. You’re hurting and that’s okay. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you should burn it.” Though in her heart, she wanted him to “Maybe take it upstairs and put it to bed. Maybe it’s time to stop going upstairs.”

“Maybe it’s time to leave the farm.” He whispered.

“Is that safe?” The idea terrified her and thrilled her.

“Safer than it was.” He signed, “Let’s go to bed. Sleep the whiskey off.”

She followed him, holding his hand as he left the shovel on the ground. She set the lamp on the dresser as he swung the door partially closed. They slipped into bed next to each other and he reached for her as soon as her body settled onto the mattress. His heart thumped under her fingertips and the smell of whiskey wafted down with each breath.

“Clint?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t ever leave me?”

“Never.”

~~~~~<3

After that night, she never saw the shovel again. She stopped hearing the squeak of boards above her head as he moved in the upper floor. Time passed and the weather warmed slowly. The ghosts seemed to fade, ever present but lingering deeper in the shadows, easier to ignore.

With the last traces of snow melted and a bright spring day, Dee set to work opening windows and doors while Clint worked in the yard. Spring was firmly in the air and she felt at peace, for the most part.

She cleaned the main floor from top to bottom. She scrubbed counters, washed the morning’s dishes. She dusted, swept and mopped. When all was said and done, she was feeling good. She was feeling hopeful.

After there was nothing else, she went into the bedroom they shared. The sunlight was strong through the window. She folded the little blanket that she had carried to bed with her every night into a neat square and picked up the stuffed fox she clutched to her chest as she slept.

Sitting on the bed, she simply held these items for some time. Then she stood and made her way to the dresser. She’d cleaned it off earlier and had set out two candles. In between them, she set folded blanket and atop it, the fox.

“Looks cute.” She hadn’t heard him come in. As his arms wrapped around her waist, she leaned into him.

“I think it’s time.” She said and felt him nod softly,

“If you’re ready.”

She had opened her mouth to tell him that if he was moving on and healing, she needed to as well but instead, as a strange sound seemed to fill the house, she asked “What is that?”

“A quinjet.”

His hands dropped from around her and she expected him to tell her to stay inside. While he rushed out of the room, he said nothing. She followed him into the living room and watched as he grabbed his bow from where it hung by the door, slinging the quiver of arrows over his shoulder. She still expected him to tell her to stay where she lingered in the hall but even as his hand wrapped around the doorknob, he did not. Even as he walked out the door, he did not tell her to stay.

And so she didn’t, though she did hesitate for a few moments. She listened as the tone of the rumble of engines changed. As she passed through the doorway and onto the porch, the sound cut off. An eerie silence fell over the field as Clint made his way closer, bow gripped in his hand and back straight.

She kept her distance but followed just the same. He didn’t look back at her and she wondered if he knew she was there. Should she go back for her own bow? Or maybe a gun?

The rear of the jet began to lower. Clint adjusted his grip on the bow. She watched, feeling fear flood her along side curiosity.

The Avengers used quinjets frequently but it was hard not to ask what if. How could they know it wasn’t some random person out to get them. Clint was clearly not sure based on the grip on his bow alone. The urge to run back to the safety of the house hit her like a wave as the ramp that made up the back door hit the ground.

A woman, tall and lean stepped out and confidently walked down. Blonde and red rooted hair was ablaze in the morning sunlight. She was as beautiful as ever., though stress had aged her since she had last graced a press release. Clint stood at a distance, hand relaxing around the bow but not rushing to her.

“Natasha”

“Hey,” She said, friendly and warm. “How’s it been going? Tried calling you.”

“I lost my phone.”

“Lost it, right.” She didn’t sound convinced. “We- I could use your help.”

She looked tired. Her skin was paler than Dee had remembered seeing in photographs. Dark circles marred the skin under her eyes, telling of many sleepless nights without a word. Her shoulders were sagged slightly, as if she were carrying the weight of the world on them and yet tried to hide it.

“You don’t need my help.”

“Clint-” Natasha tried to protest.

“You didn’t need my help to kill Thanos. You had that under control just fine.” Dee reached out and her fingers grazed his shirt sleeve as he snapped at Natasha.

“It wasn’t like that-”

“It doesn’t matter what it was like. You did it and you’re cleaning up the mess he made of our world just fine too.”

“Clint?” Dee whispered. His hand reached behind him and squeezed hers but he otherwise did not redirect his attention.

“Who’s your friend?” A friendly change of subject could serve them well.

The question was quickly shot down before it had a chance to be more than a passing thought, “Someone who needs me. Beyond that- Not your business.”

“She can come if you’re worried about that.”

“I’m not, because I’m not going anywhere.” Clint snapped.

“I need help, Clint. I-”

“You have help. Plenty of it.”

“-can’t do it alone. We need help-”

“No.”

“-vetting people, trying to fill the ranks as best we can. We’re-”

“God, it’s like she’s not listening.” Though he didn't turn his attention away from Natasha, Dee know the statement was for her. She was not forgotten.

“Clint.” Natasha sighed, giving up on what she had been attempting to communicate.

“No. I’m not going to have any part of putting idiots and power hungry bullies in roles where they can hurt people. Enough people have been hurt. Nat, I’m tired. I lost everyone I had, let me have the farmhouse and the one person I managed to gain in all this.”

“You didn’t lose me.” Natasha offered, knowing it wasn’t enough. “And you won’t lose her.”

“And if the next Mayor of Fuckville decides he’s going to gather the women up and make them his playthings, the government is going to be on the ball and stop him before more than a few women get hurt? Ha! Nat, I’ve seen what happens when a monster takes a little bit of power and runs with it. You’re giving them they keys just to fill positions.”

“That’s why-”

“Why you want help.” Clint was on a roll. “Yeah, because putting the best shitty options in power is better than leaving a void. Have fun, Natasha. I’m done.”

Clint turned and after squeezing Dee’s hand, marched toward the farmhouse. “Leave.”

Dee stood, rooted in place. She was face to face with a second Avenger and much of her was numb to it. Deep down though, there was an ember of anger.

“You were there.” Dee whispered the statement before repeating it a second time, louder.

“Yes.” She answered carefully.

“You were heroes. You were supposed to keep us safe from things like that.”

“We’re human. Most of us, at least. We're not Gods.”

“You failed.” Dee’s voice was climbing now as she repeated the statement again and again before dropping deathly low. “You failed and my children are dead.”

“We did our best. We tried-”

“You failed. My kids- they burned to death on a bus because you failed. It’s your fault. All of you so called heroes.” Finally, she had a place to direct her rage. Months of anger, bottled inside.

“We couldn’t have known-”

“Planes dropped out of the sky. Cars and trucks and busses lost their drivers. Doctors disappeared in the middle of operations, of birthing babies! You gave us hope. You said you’d protect us and you failed.” Again, her voice was climbing and tears began to stream down her eyes. “You failed. You failed and we all payed.”

“I paid too.” Natasha tried to protest only to have that accusation of failure repeated over and over, cutting deeper each time. “I lost friends. I lost the only family-”

“And where where you when my children’s teachers shot a boy right in front of me to take his supplies? Where were you when men called themselves Kings? Where where you? Where where you?” She was screaming now, fingernails digging deep into the palms of her hands.

“Where where you when a baby was left in the snow to die? Where? Where?”

Warm arms wrapped around her. She was pulled into a firm chest. Comforting warmth. Strength. Permission to be weak.

She clung to him, fingers digging, bunching the shirt, and digging into his chest. The smell of him enveloped her. Her knees where weak. It only took a few ripping sobs to buckle them. It was his gentle strength that kept her standing.

How much did he hear? Did he hear? Did it matter? Did any of it matter?

“You need to leave, Natasha.” Clint’s voice was soft yet firm.

It was clear that Natasha wanted to ask questions. If she asked, he would answer. Laura was gone and while he hadn’t moved on, he could love another without betraying his love for his wife. Surely, that wasn't impossible for her to understand.

It had been long, painful months and the woman in his arms had brought him light. Natasha could understand how important it was to have light. To have kindness. To have love. To have something to look forward to. To have someone to look to the future with. If anyone could understand, she had to.

“Clint…” Natasha stepped closer.

“Go.” There was a hardness in his voice that he had never directed toward her before.

They where friends, best friends. Yet he was sending her away when she came asking for help. What else could she do?

“Okay.” Was all she said, though she hesitated as she watched the man she thought she knew better than anyone else in the world lead a woman who voiced every one of the terrible thoughts that haunted her in the black of the night. “Okay.”

~~~~~<3

She was hyperventilating. When did that start? She couldn’t remember. Clinging to him, she rode the waves of panic that so quickly filled the void left as her anger burned through all the strength she had.

His arm swept up her legs but she hardly noticed. Where was the woman? Natasha was Clint’s friend, she was important to him. Had she crossed a line? Would he be angry?

It didn’t seem like it. What it seemed like was that he was picking her and the life they made surrounded by the ghosts over his friend from before, over what remained of his life from before.

He was all she was aware of as he kicked the door shut behind them. The safety of the home relaxed her. The weight of his hand rubbing her back and thighs after he sat them on the couch did much to calm her. Directions to breath were lost in the waves of panic. Reminders of how to breath filtered, whispered over and over.

“I’m sorry.” She choked out, the word stuttered by her shaking breaths only to be hushed.

She sat that way for some time. How long, she couldn’t say. Long enough that Clint’s legs surely had gone numb but he didn’t usher her off. Slowly, she calmed. Perhaps she dozed at times. Eventually, she slipped off his lap and instead cuddled into his side.

“Better?” Clint whispered into the top of her head.

“You didn’t have to stay for me.”

“I didn’t.” She looked up at him, “I stayed because I can’t bring myself to knowingly put people who will hurt others in power.”

“Oh.” She felt silly for feeling disappointed. Part of her, a very selfish part, wanted him to say he stayed because of her. But that’s not what he said. Would he leave her behind if the mission had been something he wanted to help with?

“I would have taken you with, if I went.” He squeezed her shoulder and she wondered if she was that transparent or if he could simply read her mind. “It’s you and me versus the world. Have been since the moment I found some crazy woman who twisted her ankle and her crazy dog facing off against the world all alone.”

“We were not crazy.” She protested, a laugh slipping from her as the reassurance washed over her.

“You’re right- Trust clearly was sane. You were the crazy one.”

She leaned back and laughed, full and hearty. That was it- everything was fixed between them once again. Clint laughed with her, his arm tightening around her waist as he leaned into her, keeping her close.

“Trust is pretty sane.” She managed between giggles.

“He’s the only one.” Clint answered, leaning down and capturing her lips in his.

Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pulled him close. His weight settled, pushing into the couch and bunching the old cushion. They connected in a way they hadn’t since the night that should have been his and his wife’s anniversary.

Nails raked through his hair, scratching lightly down his neck as his fingers gripped her waist, somehow working under the fabric of her shirt. Lips caressed her jaw then made their way down her neck. The scratch of stubble lingered as his hand inched higher.

This is what they needed. This is what she needed. “I need you.” He whispered into her neck and she did not doubt of his need.

She tugged and pulled at his shirt. Despite her best efforts, it bunched around his shoulders. Changing tactics, she let her fingers explore the familiar planes of his abdomen and chest before slipping around his back and taking in every twitch of muscle as he held himself over her.

Finally he sat up and she followed him, peppering his chest with light kisses as he removed his shirt only to be interrupted as he slipped her shirt up and over her head, discarding it to the side with his.

Large hands cupped her breasts through the fabric of her bra as she set to work on his buckle. Desire made her hands shake as she tore it free. Would she ever not want him this way?

He stood, slipping his pants and boxers both down in a smooth motion. Leaning over her, he unbuttoned her jeans and yanked them free from her legs. As he covered her newly naked body with his, neither paid any mind to the sound of the quinjet taking off from the field.

~~~~~<3

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