#suspected bipolar

[narcvampp]

` I don't give a fuck 'cuz I'm a millionare! `

INTRODUCTION POST

Nonhuman nightmare(godkin, vampkin, and therian)

HEAVILY disordered; Npd. Bpd. Hpd. Autism. Did. Ptsd

Memory loss. Psychosis. Depression

Anxiety. Suspected bipolar. Aspd traits. Hypersexual. Paraphile(Anti-contact, have multiple.)

'Obsessive love disorder' . StPD . + more

Proudly 'claimed' /ij, but in all seriousness, do not try to engage in a "friendship" unless we do so first. Our guard dog bites.

Taken² + dating someone in my thoughts tbh

Minor. MDNI blogs can int, but we also do not check blogs before we int/follow back.

CW for some of our posts; we will post/rb shit about drugs, possible sexual content, violence, and ocassionally triggering topics(e.g., self harm, sa)

All of our names + pronouns.

No DNI, block us if we fit yours, we'll block you if we want. However, some of our stances are; anti-endo(of all breeds), anti-transid/radqueer/whatever you call yourselves, anti-contact paraphile for harming or non consenting actions.(e.g., acting on pedophilia or zoophilia)

Tags for posts; #vamp diary - all basic posts, #vamp sillies - responding to asks, #utterly insane - vent posts, #millionare - reblogs, #bf posting - wes asks/posts, #fiancé posting - posts abt fiancé, #holy spirit - The Chosen One™️ aks/posts, #coffinshipping brainrot - exactly whar ir sounds like.

If you have any questions, our asks are open.

(Div creds @/mmadeinheavenn)

14+ npd centered srv

#intro post #introduction #actually npd #actually bpd #actually hpd #actually autistic #actually ptsd #actually did #actually depressed #actually anxious #suspected bipolar #aspd traits #cluster b #actually cluster b #narcissistic personality disorder #histronic personality disorder #borderline personality disorder #bpd safe #npd safe #hpd safe #aspd safe #personality disorder safe #love all pds #paraphile safe #paraphile #anti contact #godkin #vampkin #otherkin #therian

[ooppo]

Btw for anyone who needs to hear it: thinking that people are reading your mind/your thoughts are being heard by everyone is not normal. It's a symptom of psychosis and could be linked to a psychiatric disorder. This, too, goes with hallucinations.

This may seem like a no-brainer, but to teens who don't know what symptoms look like, they may jog it off for a number of reasons. I did, too, when I was in highschool! As a freshman I was having delusions/hallucinations and I didn't tell anyone because I thought they were cringe and weird. I chalked up my hallucinations to me being "tired". People who have psychosis often don't realize that what they're experiencing IS psychosis. This goes the same with other classmates/friends/loved ones. If someone comes to you with concerning behavior (even if they are joking about it) you should take note of it.

In highschool I remember a kid talking about how he could go into the matrix and he had a whole other world to protect/do missions in. He would also go still for long periods of time randomly. I thought he was weird and didn't think much of it, but those are symptoms of schizophrenia (delusions/catatonia).

I would appreciate it if this got a reblog so it could potentially help those recognize these symptoms in either themselves or others!

I wish I could have seen a post like this when I was younger. Then I could have avoided a lot of hardships and would have gotten treatment a lot sooner

#mental health awareness #i know if i saw a post like this on tumblr when i was a teenager it would have helped me out so bad #there are probably a lot of teenagers (and even adults) out there that dont realize what theyre experiencing #then they can get one step closer to a diagnosis and get treatment #it took 7 years for me to even suspect that i had bipolar disorder #i wish i had realized sooner than later that i was experiencing symptoms so i could have avoided a lot of bad experiences #due to episodes

[borderline-culture-is]

suspected bpd and bp culture is meeting diagnostic criteria for bipolar that isn't in bpd, but meeting criteria for bpd that isn't in bipolar. kill me 😭😭

( may i claim 🎰 as a sign off? :3 )

yes u can

#suspected bpd + bipolar culture is #suspected bpd + bipolar culture #suspected bpd + bipolar #borderline culture is #borderline personality disorder #bpd culture is #bpd culture #bpd safe #bpd #actually bpd #actually borderline #bipolar #- 🎰

[ghostampede]

“you were fine two seconds ago, what are you, bipolar or something?” “he was just a sociopathic and psychopathic weirdo so of course he killed people” “she’s such a fucking narcissist, what a bitch”

im on my knees begging to please just do the smallest bit of research into psychological issues before using them jn conversation cause what the FUCK

#the first two weren’t exact things said to me #but the entire sentiment of all three #have been said #multiple times #last week i literally said i had felt every emotion known to man in 24 hours #and my favourite well meaning white male friend TM said #Oh #So You’re Bipolar #and walked away laughing #and i stood there feeling disgusting cause that’s not even close to what bipolar is #but guess what #i have ‘highly suspected’ bpd #which IS what that sounds like #but yeah no #bpd does not mean im gonna manipulate and kill people #narcissistic is not a synonym for egotistical #and sociopathy 1) isn’t a disorder on it’s own it refers to antisocial personality disorder #and 2) it doesn’t mean they’re extremely violent because they struggle with empathy jesus christ #society if cluster b personality disorders were less stigmatized like even by a margin #maybe i could actually get help #but no #instead i hear people practically sing about how people with certain disorders #people i have KNOWN that are wonderful but have those disorders #are fucking evil because they’re struggling with some of the hardest shit #i should start yelling at people to shut up #but then i’ll look like im ~Crazy~ #and nobody will listen so whatever i guess #dorian talks #destigmatize mental illness #until god forbid someone has anything other than fuckinh anxiety and depression cause then they’re a violent serial killer :|

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#me for forever: i probably have ocd. that would make a lot of sense. psychologist: u seem to meet the diagnostic criteria for ocd. me: >:-O #so yeah. i officially have ocd. shocking. i know. its only exactly as i suspected #i did not expect to get so much investigation into bipolar tho. checked a lot of boxes on a bipolar checklist sheet #and like yeah this issue probably goes back to hs but like its not that obstructive. i mean. it is but like. its not that bad #and yes. the fact that i had a fucked up reaction to Lexapro may support that diagnosis. but like i dont really remember what happened that #well. it could just b how ocd and anxiety along with whatever spectrum problems i have manifest. it could just b pmdd #i do have recorded spells of high energy outside the expected phases of my cycle. but like ya kno #it would just truely truely shock me if i was bipolar #but what i described was apparently fucked up enough that my counselor was like hm have u looked at a physical medical issue? #and im like. ive not been to a doctor in 6 years. so i have a doctors appointment next week lol #yeah. so interesting so far. this does mean exposure therapy which im gonna hate but i mean #its the thing that works with ocd and i wanna get better so lets fucking go i guess #unrelated

[loumands]

Had a psychiatrist appointment today we're going to try meds again to treat my ambiguous disorder(tm)

#i stopped taking my ssri antidepressant a couple of years ago because i suspected it caused hypomania #but doctors don't think i'm bipolar so i was prescribed snri this time #we shall see what happens! #.txt

[danceworshipper]

The undiagnosed neurodivergence has really been kicking in these past few days I've listened to this singular song for like 5 hours now

#BURN - Written By Wolves #stellar fucking song I need it injected into my veins thanks #personal #my therapist referenced me as if I had adhd the other week and I was like um. well that's new #suspected bipolar autism all this other shit and somehow hadn't gotten adhd until now #idk what to tell you but I feel like this is the type of thing that would make a professional go 'hm'

[stephaniedola]

today i finally had the follow-up with behavioral health to end the consult about my bipolar meds and it was so wild for the first time ever to be able to tell a psych "yeah no i feel great i actually feel better than i realistically have in my entire life"

like i told her its actually been really weird because ive been having to re-learn everyday life now that everything isnt always at 1000 percent intensity. like its kinda wild tbh

i described it as like, theres still ups and downs, but they're significantly below the bars on either side for distress and instability, whereas before the ups and downs would regularly fluctuate past those bars and it took a LOT of energy out of me. more than i even knew

anyway all this to say, as i left i said "thanks for fixing me"

#thots et al #if you suspect that you might be even slightly bipolar get your doctor to give you lamictal RIGHT NOW

[reggie-black-is-my-gender]

Hey all :)

Idk how many ppl will see this but I’m having a really hard day in the middle of a depressive episode and think it would be really cool if maybe someone could tell me something nice or fun? Or even leave a smiley face in the comments, I’m just having a really hard day :(

Sorry if I dragged you down with this, but just thought I’d reach out and see if I could feel a bit better :|

<3

(Small edit: I’m now listening to folklore and idk if it’s helping??)

#mental health #mentally unstable #mental issues #depression #suspected bipolar disorder #my adhd #I kin Barty crouch jr what did I expect #hope ur having a good day

[caffeinatedopossum]

Starting to wonder if I have bipolar but then I would literally have almost every mental illness. Like fr I'm not kidding you, I'm a collector and I never chose this

#it does run in my family since my mom had it #i just wonder because while im almost always suicidal the way that prevents itself can greatly change very quickly #like periodically ill be stuck to my bed very sad very mopy for like 3 weeks to 3 months #and then sudden i get this burst of false energy that is actually severe restlessness #and i NEED to do something when that happens. sometimes i just cannot sleep because ive gotta do something #sometimes i frantically draw or write and ill have these moments where i feel ecstatic and when i come back to normal levels of sadness #im convinced i mustve been delusional to think the thoughts that i had then #usually the sadness isnt as bad during those periods but the suicidality is much worse actually because i become very frantic #and have so much more energy #idk. my theory thus far has been either 1) adhd causing mood dysregulation and hyperactivity #2) fluctuations in my depression and anxiety combating each other. actually both of these. #or 3) DID. just DID. i think thats lretty self explanatory #the interesting thing is that i think what i described with point 1 and 2 would be clinically considered bipolar...? #listen clinicians dont always consider the other factors that contribute to what symptoms the person is having #especially in psychology where the lines are very blurry since diagnosis tends to be made on behavioral observations #and also on self reported symptoms.i suspect im one of the only people who would describe symptoms like 'im having x because i have y' #and not just 'im having x symptom' #skfjfh sorry to everyone who reads my tags 👍 psychology special interest go brr

[zainmalik]

.

#bit of a rant/vent #new logan lore: i do not have ocd or bipolar disorder #but i’ve been officially diagnosed with adhd and ptsd #i’m so nonchalant about it as if hearing the words ptsd didn’t rock my whole world #for almost three years ​i’ve been like. yeah this event caused me a lot of distress and nothing has been the same since and it was traumatic #but surely i’m okay like it’s not a big deal i’m doing fine #turns out. not doing fine!!! #talking about it made me feel so horrible as if i was reliving it again #it hurts so much it was such a horrible experience and i never dealt with it and it’s been festering #and it’s caused all these intrusive thoughts and physical pain and i wanted to pretend that it was nothing serious but. it is isn’t it? #at the same time it feels liberating to just admit to myself that this affected me deeply to the point it’s affecting my life #i’ve been suspecting i’ve had adhd for a while now so i wasn’t very surprised about that #but yeah i’m starting proper treatment for the actual things that are happening #here’s to healing!!! #logan.txt

[barkingangelbaby]

*inhales* *exhales* AAAAHHHHHH

#THERAPY @ 11 TODAY #i know it's just the first session but idek what to dive into first #do i focus on my attachment issues that stem from being an orphan the entire time #do i talk about my strained relationship with my sister #do i talk about how i went nonverbal for almost 2 years after (redacted) #do i talk about my suspected adhd #do i talk about being worried im bipolar #do i talk about how desperately i want to be a good person and friend and lover but find myself isolating instead #AHHHHH #it will be good and fine i know it's only session one and it takes time to repair urself #thank u for coming 2 my tedtalk #things will be ok #rAMbles

[superdumbfan]

I've been up for hours. I have always had the sensory issues but it wasn't until I got out of my dad's abusive house that they really hit me and now I'm up right now literally coughing up loogies that are pink from blood and fighting the urge to literally claw my skin off. It sounds like some edgy thing some kid would have put here on Tumblr in 2008. I hate everything I want to die it sucks so fucking bad. I clean and clean and clean off my bed before laying on it I make my bed I make sure everything is to a tee. And no matter how many fucking time to do with the bed still has something on it it could be as clean as marble and it's still feels like I'm laying in the fucking desert. Always starts off feeling like I'm laying on Sand then it gets itchy to the point that it's unbearable and I just want to claw my skin off and it hurts it stops being itchy and just straight up hurts. I am so tired and I'm just crying Non-Stop and I can't even stop myself from crying and it sucks. I'm tired I'm always you never feeling comfortable in my own skin in a literal way not metaphorical not oh I look in the mirror and I'm ugly literally feeling uncomfortable in my skin I want to be skin I would pay for someone to find a way to live without skin. This is literal agony and it's always hits me when I'm vulnerable. It never hits me in the middle of the day when I'm just chilling relaxing it's always when I'm trying to go to sleep or do something important it's always in the middle of a test or some other bull like that. It's always there I don't know what I did I'm not a good person I know I haven't taken it. And no matter how much I look stuff up we can't find any way to fix this I don't have money to buy a weighted blanket. And my next therapy appointment in this until Wednesday. Sometimes I think if I didn't make a promise that I made my mom I probably be dead. I just said melatonin and I'm hoping that I've been to just get worn out from crying and fall asleep. But it sucks that I even have to do that I want to be a normal person so waiting to sit on my bed and go to sleep. No crying no tantrum no painful itching sensation no need to literally sit as still as possible just hope that it can fall asleep without literally crying so hard that I can't speak anymore.

I just want to be "normal" person i feel bad I don't want to be neurodivergent. I want to be able to do things normally without my brain trying to punish me. This is like living hell. And it's so much worse cuz I never never the problem when I'm like distracted throughout the day I sit on the same bed all day and watch TV and do other things I work on my bed because it's the only thing I have and there's no problem the second that I actually got to go to sleep it's like oh no now your bed is made out of needles and sand and bugs. If I didn't promise my mom I wouldn't kill myself I probably do that right now. I hate everything I hate this I'm going to sleep so badly I'm literally writing this while crying and so tired that I could fall asleep but my body won't let me I'm so so tired this isn't fair.

Please please please please please please if anyone knows anything that can help please tell me I am literally having panic attacks and I can't do this. I am on the verge of just scratching all my skin off Jesus Christ and I don't even know why my brain would act like this why am I so faulty that my brain actively makes my life worse what is the possible reason that my brain would act like this

#autism sensory issues #autism #sensory #tw selfharm speak #sensory issues #my diagnosis of autism is still very early on my doctors have been suspecting it for a while but I have yet to take an official test #I don't know what this problem is and I don't care I just want it fucking fixed I cannot live like this #actually mentally ill #actually autistic #actually bipolar

[failbaby]

I really do think psychiatrists should follow up the question about a history of mental illness in your family with like. Screening questions to see if your family members have traits of hereditary mental illness or something. Idk if that’s actually a proper solution but there are not very many people who can confidently say “yeah, my mom and grandpa both have [X]” because mental health care is so inaccessible

#oc #both of my parents are white so this is only a slice of this issue but like #I only knew my mom’s family’s history of mental illness because she comes from a middle class white family who can afford mental health care #and trust doctors #(to be clear being able to trust doctors is a privilege not a matter of intelligence/morality. marginalized people have good reason #to distrust doctors) #and on the other hand I suspect my dad’s mom was bipolar but his parents were poor and she could never afford to see a therapist #and even if she could she wouldn’t want to because she didn’t trust doctors #so even privileged people like me won’t know their family history of mental illness if they don’t come from a long line of privileged people #it’s just not really a good system

[ramblinseahorsey]

Me: Why r my adhd meds making me feel worse not better :( Also I am the meanest person alive I shall hide in my room and sleep forever from guilt

A few weeks later

*Gets diagnosed with Bipolar* OHHHHHHHH

#NOW WERE GETTIN SOMEWHERE #now: to find out if the issues focusing are all bipolar or also adhd #and how the heck to get adhd meds thst dont ruin the help of the bipolar meds im trying #if these meds are even the ones but i have high hopes cause they work for mom! #THIS COULD BE IT #rambles #disabilities #i always suspected bipolar a little bit cause genetics but thought most likely not #suspected a lot MORE 2020 on as all the stress exacerbated symptoms #but i really didnt want it to be true #and now even looking back to being a kid #so many things clicking i feel so STUPID #its like realizin all my cryin & procrastinatin & feelin stuck doin things i hate wasnt me just bein lazy but mental health issues as a kid #realizing i might not be evil after all! TWO!! #still should stay in my room until i can wean off the adhd meds though just because i understand my outbursts doesnt mean i can excuse em #all i can think to do lol #the thing that scares me is how it comes out of nowhere it didnt happen very often as a kid and was a lot of bottled up anger #or run around the yard about it #i wonder if i have mixed affective state #it just goes from manic to depressed and vice versa on a DIME its scary

[ozymoron]

god im so fucking tired i keep switching from hyper to depressed and i just want to fucking sleep istg theres something wrong with me

#personal #vent #im starting to suspect i was right about me having bipolar #what with how last week i was depressed yet suddenly i feel like im on top of the world #im so tired #its just constant ''i want to get up and do something!'' then immediately followed by ''actually id rather be dead right now'' #good lord