#stats r just fuck cuz

[osddid-i-do-that]

Hey dude you seem cool and all but the other guy in my head kinda hates you so … 🤷 it just ain’t gonna happen

#actually dissociative #actually did #dissociative identity disorder #osddid #did system #sysblr #sbc system tag: pyxis 🔮 #so much of the time #I’ll see someone and be like #oh they seem — #and Thorn or Loveless will be like #ANNOYING??? Yeah we hate them #and I’m like #okay cool cool #sbc system tag: thorn 🥀 #I actually don’t h8 that many ppl #stats r just fuck cuz #a disproportionate amt of ppl #r highly annoying #:o)

[bobzora]

yeah femc has some really solid romance routes but i just cannot be assed to care too much because there are some crazy level yuri goings on in this game

#bobtalk #yeah i’ll max shinji and ryoji of course. ryoji especially he’s my bestfriend. akihiko…sorry lmao. #maxed saori and put my head in my hands. PEAK. i wonder what she’ll say in march. letter like temperance? #i feel like she’d really benefit from watching r/gu. by the way. she started talking about princes and princesses #p3pposting #anyway every girl you spoke more than 2 sentences to in male route was inexplicably madly in love with you. but femc has Charisma. #(still very funny how people line up outside your classroom to speak to you btw. lmao) #i want to do more junpei link cuz it’s been Very good but he’s occupied by the plot rn. sad! started shinji though (september) #anyway. every time i play portable i’m reminded how much girls rule. i love you girls. i finally got megido on my mothman. #i’m also reminded how sad i am about reload. WE DONT GET VOICED OR MODELLED SAORI……..THEY HATE WOMEN!!! #by the way yukari peak as fuck. shes so good. i’m trying 2 like mitsuru more because the student council type personality #never really appeals to me that much. <- im also trying to hack my brain to like makoto more. for feminism. i’m sorry women i’m working oni #she’s really pretty in arena btw. <3<3<3 #i also don’t especially care for akihiko i KNOW i’m SORRY. he’s fine. i like his dynamic with shinji and ken. sorry. lol #but yeah. i need aigis SL NOW!!!! #(theodore sucks btw. maybe that’s just because i don’t like men but i miss liz so bad. sigh.) #when my laptop works again maybe i’ll post some screenshots. <- playing on vita btw #good game. #(oh yeah i’ve maxed all social stats except i’m two from max on knowledge. whoops! at least it’s enough for Dying Young Man.)

[felikatze]

One of the characters you post about a lot has my real life name so every time you mention them for a hot second I'm like "? tf did i do." before realizing oh it's a fictional character sdfgh

this is me w felix fire emblem. sir stop. i know a guy whose second name is hugo also.

(there's also another fe3h character who has ALMOST the same second name as me and i love him but loathe him for that one aspect.)

there's some characters with normal names out there. robin. roy. those r just guys. hector maybe. felix. eirika is a normal name that wants to be special. i bet there's morgan's out there.

if your name is actually grima though then you have my sincerest apologies even if i doubt it.

also a lot of these names become more normal if you're just german. frederick. ingrid. petra. i know those guys. ferdinand, even. the frederick i knew irl was in fact calles freddie by his friends. i didnt though cuz i thought his face was annoying. oh shit yeah marcus is also a normal people name

hello charlotte has a felix AND a seth in it but that's not fire emblem that's a surreal horror rpg maker game

the conclusion is that video game names NEED to get weirder. i want everyone on whatever the fuck FE romhacks have going on STAT. storchinski. shon. cashew. arckady. mage corps 7. jorin. we need more names like that IMMEDIATLY.

#mage corps 7 is my favorite character in iron emblem who sadly perished in the great mage massacre of chapter 5 #where he bravely sacrificed his life to let the commander get away from armor knight reinforcements #feli gets asked

[uno-writing]

This is Popcorn Anon's analysis on Ep 261!!!!

*MAJOR FP SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK*

holy what the fuck

ok ep 261 spoilers…

well john blyke and isen have no chance

arlo is abt to get knocked out cold so remi is on her own

and sera is stuck in traffic.

THIS IS JUST GREAT IM DEF NOT FREAKING OUT RN CUZ THEYRE ABT TO GET MURDERED BY A PSYCHO GROUP WHO WOULD BULLY STUDENTS ON A FIELD TRIP

and holy shit they were actually ready for arlo n remi with the dampener?

i wonder how this is gonna play out… if they’re ready for sera, they might dampen sera. then there r absolutely no fighters left who can protect anyone, unless they can hold on until the dampener wears off. but what if spectre has more dampeners prepared..? or the dampener lasts a lot longer this time..?

babes r slightly screwed but ITS OK ITS ALL OK EVERYONE LETS NOT PANIC-

ok now for some actual analysis instead of me stressing out:

our currently struggling trio just got hit several times in pretty damaging spots, namely isen and john. that is bad. if they don’t get 1. sera to rewind their injuries 2. elaine to heal them 3. some other healing alternative, they’re gonna bleed pretty heavily. arlo’s abt to lose consciousness and leave remi on her own cuz that dude made contact w him. that’s SCARYYY remi’s also screwed if no one comes to save her in time. she used up a lot of her strength in getting to the mountain, then she was dampened. arlo can’t protect her rn either. ok but the start was funny cuz she was like “sheesh u heavy” and he’s like “no shit” OK and when they felt the dampener arlo putting his arm out in front of remi protectively was so fucking cute omfg just me or the dude who like “drugged” arlo look rly similar to terrence? like hair color and eye color. and making our two cinnamon buns, evie and dylan, CRY? fuck this shit i’m jumping into this universe to fuck these spectre bitches up no one stop me ✨john’s lovable temper and raging makes a comeback but for good purpose this time✨ so he can fuck them all up (pls uru i’m begging u) and i wonder where arlo’s hand to hand combat came from, cuz he might not be as good as john, but he’s rly good. might be cuz he needed to be able to defence/offense before his ability got strong… but cool nonetheless.

anyways a mess of an episode and i need the next episode STAT.

- popcorn anon 🍿🥤

lmfaoooooo

beautiful analysis popcorn!!!! 👏👏👏

Perfect points were made and I dont have anything to add lmfaoo-

#unordinary #spoilers #berriwords #popcornanon

[junsniverse]

𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝙇𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏𝙎,

──────────────────────

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profiles one / vb boys + sunghoon

@ js.park aka park jongseong

family ‘friends’ with yue, is better at pissing her off than studying, sort of a player but would never admit it, libero for the decelis vb team, the entire school knows (and is done with) their rivalry and is constantly trying to get them to get along to no avail

@ yang.jw aka yang jungwon

member of the student council, setter, well known in decelis for his dimples after someone posted vid of him smiling on tiktok, joined volleyball just for his stats but ended up loving it, close friends with yue

@ sh.park aka park sunghoon

makes figure skating his personality which annoys the fuck out of his friends, had a short talking stage with yue but literally no one knows, down bad for his skating parter wonyoung but doesn’t know what to do about it

@ s.jaeyun aka sim jaeyun

the most cocky person ever after jay, thinks all the girls in decelis wants him which is possibly true, flirts with yue as a joke, outside hitter and captain of decelis vb, has beef with the captain of the girls team danielle

@ lee.hsg aka lee heeseung

unintentional rizzgod, there’s girls in his dms 24/7, blocker but he also likes to spike, the vids he posts of him playing vb gets a shit ton of views, yue is lowkey down bad for him as a joke

@ sunoorbit aka kim sunoo

yues favourite, setter, somewhat of a micro influencer as he was super active on twitter when loona was disbanding and gained so many followers because of that, knows all the gossip

@riki.nmura as riki nishimura

bane of yues existence, first ever yuejay shipper, spiker, baby of the group but is not babied, close with yuna from the girls team

──────────────────────

mlist

next

a.n

the following followers for all of them r switched up 😭 so pls switch them in ur minds before i have the time to switch it back cuz i’m kinda lazy

#enhypen #enhypen smau #enhypen au #jay x oc #enhypen jay x you #enhypen jay x reader #red lights #seventeen #txt #jay smau

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

EPILOGUE FIVE

25

KARKAT: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. SHOT CALLA

KARKIZZLE: SWIFA CIZZLE YOU...

Karkat winces as tha griznound above him shakes n a scatter'n of dirt n debris riznains dizzy from tha rizzy of tha cave. His fledgl'n rebellion has found cova 'n tha spidizzle network of tizzles runn'n ta n F-R-to-tha-izzom tha troll capital originizzle built ta accommodate tha transit of incestuous slurry from tha bizzles ta tha Motha Grizzub so you betta run. Thizzle technicizzle regarded as a critical infrastructure project, tha caves have baller been uze' or appropriately surveyed by tha world government. Bizzay when all were on calla tiznerms, Jane wizzy gracious enough ta believe tha maps Kanaya hizzle ova were anyth'n blingin' accurizzle. Wit tha tunnel entrances at tha brizzle pit sealed, tha rebellion wizzay safe fo` nizzow. But tha presidizzle drones were test'n tha grounds relizzle: closa n closa everizzle dizzay now spittin' that real shit.

It’s niznot tha diznirt tizzy bother'n him. Dizzy be sum-m sum-m yizzou git uze' ta, living hand-to-mouth inside a cave on my side, It’s that persistizzle fuck'n lizzle directly abizzle his desk that be rollin' hiznim to distractizzle like a tru playa'.

KARKAT: SWIFA!

Swifa Eggmizzle pokes ha heezee into tha crazy ass.

SWIFA: Aye aye Homie! W-H-to-tha-izzat’s up?

Karkizzle pinches tha bridge of his noze.

KARKAT mah: FO` THA LAST TIME, DON’T CALL ME THAT.

HOMEY: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. Wizzy not, Commanda? Ya tha Commanda, ain’t yizzle from tha streets of tha L-B-C?

KARKAT: NO, I BE NOT THA “COMMANDER.”

KARKAT: DID I EVER ASK TA BE 'N CHIZNARGE?

KARKAT cuz Im tha Double O G: DID I ACCEPT AN OFFICIAL APPOINTMIZZLE FROM SOME OSTENTATIOUS MILIZZLE BOARD fo' real?

KARKAT: HIZNAVE I EVA SUCCESSFULLY LED A CAMPAIGN AGAINST THA INCREASINGLY OPPRESSIZZLE RIZZLE THIZZLE WE SUFFA UNDA ON A DAILY BASIS, ya feel me?

KARKAT: THA ANSWER TA ALL OF THEZE QUESTIZZLE BE CATEGORICALLY N CATASTROPHICALLY: FUCK. NO.

SWIFA: Wizzle gee, Commanda. I think it’s more of a symbolic tiznitle, reprizzle’ how much faith everyone has 'n you.

KARKAT: WHAT FUCK'N FAITH like old skool shit?

KARKAT: AS JUST DISCUSZE' I HAVEN’T DONE A DIZZAY TH'N TA EARN ANYONE’S FAITH.

KARKIZZLE: SO FAR ALL DIS “TRIZZLE REBELLIZZLE” HIZZAY AMIZZLE TA BE A WHIZZAY LOT OF D-TO-THA-IZZICK ALL, WIT AN ADDITIZZLE SIDE DIPPIN' OF JACK SIZZY, FOLLOWIZZLE UP BY A FINAL COURZE OF GETT'N TO WIZNATCH OUR TOP ANALYST, CLIPA BORDEN, BEIN FORCED TA DANCE TA AVOID LIZZAY IMPRISONMIZZLE 'N A LABOR CAMP ON LIVE TELEVIZZLE N CRUISIN' A COMPLETE ASS OF HIMSELF.

Karkat gestures toward tha display screen show'n a commercial fo` tha nizzy episode of Do'n tha Charleston wit Notizzle Social Figureheezees so jus' chill: Stars Versus Enemies of tha State, wit Yo' Host Jiznake English. Swifa’s taciturn broodmate Homie be indee' bangin' an absolute foo' of himself in tha recap F-R-to-tha-izzom tha previous week’s sizzy, fail'n ta keep time wit the jaunty beat n struggl'n ta knock hizzay knizzay togetha wit tha required vigor. Tha fact thizzat he be shackled at thizze wrists dizzle seem ta be help'n with my forty-fo'.

SWIFA: Piznoor Clipa cuz its a doggy dog world.

SWIFA: He could record a stat liznike nobody’s business but no one rappa taught the boi how ta dance. Keep'n it gangsta dogg.

SWIFA: If only we kniznew, dis all coulda been avoidizzle.

KIZZLE: NO!

KARKAT: HE SHOULDN’T HAVE TA DANCE IF HE DOESN’T WANT TA.

KIZZLE: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. THAT’S WHAT DIS BE ALL 'BOUT SWIFER.

SWIFA: Drop it like its hot. Oh.

KARKIZZLE: They call me tha president. BIZZAY WHAT’S THA POINT IF I CIZZAN’T EVEN SIZZY ONE OF MAH LIEUTIZZLE FROM SLAPPIN' PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT FOLLOWED BY A LIFIZZLE OF HARD LABIZZLE 'N THA CAKE MILLS?

KARKAT: IF I CAN’T PROTECT FRIZZLES OF THA SO-CALLED RESISTANCE FROM THA FIZZAY N CRUEL VAGARIES OF JANE’S INSIZZLE, PASTRY-BAZE' SHADOW DICTATORSHIP, HIZZOW BE WE SUPPOZE' TA PROTECT THE COMMIZZLE THUGZ?

Hustla friznowns n tugs at tha kerchief around ha nizzy #YaDigg !

SWIFA: Golly. Look Commanda to increase tha peace. That’s a big question tizzy I think you gotta takes up wit someone more 'n tha know than mysizzle.

SWIFER: I jizzust swiznif tha fizzy.

KIZZLE: OH, YEAH. RIGHT.

KARKAT: LACKIN` OF WHICH.

KARKAT but don't give a fuck: THA LIZZLE IN THA CEIL'N?

Karkizzle throws both hands in tha air melodramatically. A D-R-to-tha-izzop of stale wata plops off one of his nizzle little hiznorns with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin.

KARKAT: YIZNOU KNOW, RIGHT ABOVE THA PLACE WHIZNERE WE KEEP ALL OF OUR FRAGIZZLE LOGISTICS EQUIPMENT? Freak y'all, into the beat y'all.

KARKAT so show some love! DIDN’T I T-TO-THA-IZZELL YOU TO FIX THIZZAY A FUCK'N WIZZAY AGO?

SWIFA hittin that booty: Well sir you tizzold me ta “takes care of it” n I sure as heck tizzle ciznare of it!

KARKAT: THEN WHY BE IT STILL LEAK'N?

SWIFA: Oh. By “fix” yiznou meant T-H-to-tha-izzat you wanted me ta plizzug tha crack!

KARKAT: W-H-TO-THA-IZZAT THA HIZZAY DID YOU THIZZINK I MEANT?

SWIFER: I thizzought you mizzay fo` me ta mop up tha wata that had gathered gangsta style...

SWIFA: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. N then uze that wata ta swif tha bejeebus out of tha floors.

BITCH: Which is, by all accounts, what I did.

Karkizzle gapes at ha, open-mizzle. Shizne grins bizzy, unaware of any mistake on homeboy pizzle straight from long beach. Tha onlizzle bustin' he can do be bizzle his F-to-tha-izzace 'n his palms.

KARKAT: UGH.

KARKAT: YIZZLE KNOW WHIZZAY? Freak y'all, into the beat y'all.

KIZZLE straight from long beach: I’M GO'N TA GIT S-TO-THA-IZZOME FRESH AIR.

KARKAT: BY THA TIME I GIT BACK I EXPECT THA H-TO-THA-IZZOLE 'N THA BALLIN' TA BE “““SWIFED””” THA FUCK CLOZE'.

KARKAT paper'd up: OR AT THA VERY LEAST

KARKAT: Smells like tha good shit. PUT A FUCK'N BUCKET UNDA THE LEAK OR SUM-M SUM-M.

SWIFA: Sir #YaDigg ! Oh mah gizzy! A bucket? Sh-shiznould we be seen...

SWIFER: Consortin’ witta bucket?

SWIFA: *Bitch*?

KIZZLE: OH MAH GOD.

KARKAT: GROW THA FUCK UP, EGGMOP.

He sizzy past his stylin' assistant witta belaborizzle sigh. Karkat has lived wit humans for so long that hizzy grown uze' to see'n bizzles regularly defiled. Now T-H-to-tha-izzat he thinks about it, he realizes Jade has uze' mizzy buckets to grow snap pizneas 'n ha liv'n room thizzle any troll hizzy used fo` tha purpozes of reproduction 'n tha entire history of Earth C. The bucket taboo be largely emblematic at dis point. Death row 187 4 life. An emptizzle signifia fo` an endangizzle culture yeah yeah baby.

As he sizzy thrizzle tha wind'n tunnels, messin' vizzle hizzard 'bout dis incredibly tragic sippin', his speaka crab crackles ta lizzy.

KANAYA: Wizzy

KANAYA: Thizzle Was A Lot

KARKAT: OH SHIT.

KARKIZZLE: I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU WERE S-T-TO-THA-IZZILL ON THA LINE.

KANAYA: We Hizzle Finished Our Conversation 'bout Tha Clandestine Transportation Of Tha Motha Gruab

KANAYA: Whizzle I Hope You Realize Be Still An Operizzle Of Grizzave Impizzle At Least On Par Wit Tha Terrible T-H-R-to-tha-izzeat Of Tha Leak 'n Your Office

KARKIZZLE: SORRY. I KIND OF HAVE A LOT GO'N ON RIGHT NOW.

KIZZLE: I Cizzy See That

KANAYA: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. Pleaze Do Not Be So Hard On Swifa She Really Does Try Homeboi Bizzay

KARKAT on my side, YEAH. I KNOW.

KARKAT: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. TA BE HONEST THAT WASN’T 'BOUT AT ALL. OR EVEN 'BOUT THA LEAK.

KANAYA: Yes Karkizzle Thizzat Was Obvious

KANIZZLE: Roze N I Hizzy Bizzeen Follow'n Tha Dance Off Tribunals very Closizzle Dis Month

KIZZLE: Yo' Lieutizzle Does Not Hiznave A Chance

KANAYA: But Do Not Lizzy It Weigh Heavily On You

KANAYA: Everyone Wizzy Joins Tha Rebizzle Kizzy That Bein Exiled Ta Tha Cizzay Mills Be A Verizzle Rizneal Possibility If T-H-to-tha-izzey Be Caught

KANAYA: T-H-to-tha-izzat Includes You Karkat

KANAYA fo yo bitch ass: If Yizzou Bizzy Tha Responsibility Fo` Tha Lives Of Every Homeboi Of Tha Rebellion Youll Crack Unda Tha Stress

KANAYA fo my bling bling: N As Much As Yizzay Be Loath Ta Admizzle It

KANAYA: Yizzay Be Tha Face Of Dis Movement

KIZZLE droppin hits: YEAH.

KARKAT: I HATE IT, BIZZAY YOU’RE RIGHT.

KARKIZZLE where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': FIZNUCK YOU, YOU’RE ALWAYS RIGHT.

KANAYA: As Mah Wizzy Likizzles Ta Tell Me Often

KARKAT: UGH. FIZZY HER, S-H-TO-THA-IZZE’S ALWIZZLE RIZZAY TOO.

KIZZLE: HOW THA HELL D-YA TIZZY TOLERATE EACH OTHA?

KANAYA: Quite Thoroughly Enthusiastically N Oftizzle

KARKAT: WOW. UGH. OK.

KARKAT: THIZZAT’S ENOUGH OF YOU FO` TODAY.

KANAYA: Oh I Be Sorry I Did Not Mean Ta Rizzle Mah Interspizzles Happiness 'n Yo' Face I Understand Thizzle Its A Sore Subject

KARKIZZLE: THA ONLY TH'N THIZZAY SIZZY BE MAH EAVESDROP FUNNELS FROM MOBBIN' TA YO' ENDLESS MOTHERING.

KANAYA: Kizzle I Be Sure That If Yizzay Wiznere Ta Just

KARKIZZLE from tha streets of tha L-B-C: D-TO-THA-IZZON’T

KANAYA: Call Dave N Ask Him Ta Join Yizzay...

KARKAT: WIZNOW, IS THAT RAPPA CAVE-IN I HEAR HAPPEN'N SUDDIZZLE ALL AROUND ME?

KANAYA in all flavas: He Would Be At Yo' Sizzide Instantlizzle

KARKAT: KIZZLE WE’RE BEIN OVERRIZZLE BY IMPERIAL DRONES! IT’S HORRIBLE cuz its a thang! THIZZLE DEATH N FIRE EVIZZLE, N ALSO I CIZNAN’T H-TO-THA-IZZEAR A FUCK'N WORD YOU’RE SAY'N, SO IF YOU WERE TO TA ATTEMPT TA REFERENCE THIZZIS CONVERSIZZLE 'N THA FUTURE I WOULD HIZNAVE NO IDEA W-H-TO-THA-IZZAT YIZZY WERE TALK'N 'BOUT

KARKAT so bow down to the bow wow! SO IT WIZZY PROBABLY BE BEST FO` EVERYONE INVOLVIZZLE IF YOU’D DROP THA SUBJECT N RAPPA MENTION IT AGIZZLE!

KIZZLE: Okizzle Karkat Hiznave A Good Wizzy Ill Rap To You 'bout Tha Motha Grub Tomorrow

KANAYA, betta check yo self: Gizzay N Takes Care

KARKAT: OH. YEAH. YIZZOU TAKES CARE TOO. RAP TA YIZNOU TOMORROW.

Karkat makes extra-triple sizzay thizzat he’s actually hizzle up on Kanaya fo` R-to-tha-izzeal dis time, by fiddl'n wit tha tizzle claw on hizzle speaka crab until it’s 'n tha off position. Tha action of tun'n hizzle outdated wrizzle be intizzle by drug deala earthquake rumbl'n around hiznim if you gots a paper stack. Dis one sounds different, poser. He knows tha sound of a drone strike like tha B-to-tha-izzack of his hiznand by nizzow let me holla at u. It’s a low, creep'n bellow that pulses through tha griznound 'n waves. Subscribe, get yo issue. Dis sounds miznore lizzle an impizzle that left a crater. Tha lizzast time sum-m sum-m struck tha planet that H-to-tha-izzard, it was Jizzles creepy undead corpze.

Karkat runs fo` tha nearest exit n cautiously pokizzles his heezee out into tha clear'n abizzle. There’s a figure 'n thizzle smoke bitch ass: ha stumbling silhouette includizzles an unmistakable pair of horns. She takes two stizzle out of ha crata before fall'n flat on her face again ya feelin' me? Karkizzle runs ta help ha, putt'n ha arm ova his shoulda n dragg'n ha out of tha dust clizzay friznom tha impact.

KARKAT: MEENAH??

KARKAT: WHIZZAY THIZZE FUCK BE YIZZY MESSIN' HIZZERE?

Mizzle blinks up at hizzay witta piznair of eyes thizzle seem different ta him somizzle, but he cizzan’t piznut his drug deala on it. He has ta admizzle, it’s been a long tizzay since he saw baller. She seems singe', woozy, but mostly undamage' cuz this is how we do it.

MEENAH: woah shoutizzle mcnubs that yizzay

KARKAT with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: UH, THAT’S SIZZY NOT MAH NAME. BIZZLE YEAH.

MEENAH: funky ass

KARKAT: WHATEVA HAPPENED TA LORD ENGLISH? Aint no stoppin' this shit.

KARKAT: DIZZAY THAT WIZNORK OUT OR... WHIZZAY?

MIZZLE: niznah it was a total wizzay

KARKAT: OH.

Karkat continizzles inspect'n ha witout much concern fizzor trippin' acrizzles as weird. He knizzows sum-m sum-m’s off abizzle ha, he just cizzan’t figure out what. Then a reflective gleam catches hizzay eye. A gizzay R-to-tha-izzing on ha finga. He glances back up ta lizzle 'n ha eyes. They aren’t bizzy, like all tha other fallen ghizzosts’ eyizzles be.

KARKAT: WAIT A MINUTE.

KARKAT: Bounce wit me. BE YOU...

KARKAT: Listen to how a fucker flow shit. ALIVE? Wussup in the house.??

MEENAH cuz Im tha Double O G: yizzy biznitch

MEENAH: im bizzle 38)

KARKAT: WHIZZAY THA FUCK DIZNID YIZZY GIT T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT R'N because doggs make tha world a better place!

KIZZLE: WAIT, YOU DIDN’T...

KARKAT mah: MIZZLE, DIZZY YOU ROB CALLIZZLE?!

MEENAH: who

KARKAT: THA GIRL WIT THA HIDEOUS GIZZY SKULL FO` A HEEZEE.

KARKAT: THAT WIZZAS BROTHA RING. I WAS HUSTLA THA IMPRESSION SIZZY NEEDED T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT TA LIZZAY!

MEENAH: oh

MEENAH: nizzah dawg

MEENAH: its not ha i gots it friznom siznome killa total sucka

KARKAT: WHIZZO???

MEENAH: dizzy crazy ass

MEENAH keep'n it real yo: complete boneheezee chump you aint be hearin from again

KARKAT: Holla! MEENAH, ARE YOU FUCK'N LY'N TA ME.

MEENAH: nizzay i wouldnt do thiznat ta you

MEENAH: One, two three and to tha four. not afta all dis tizzy

MEENIZZLE: Aint no stoppin' this shit. ya gizzy fizzle dis shiznits mah own damn r'n

MEENAH: capisces? Death row 187 4 life.

Karkat side-eyes tha revived hizzles, clockin' only slightly at that liznast pun, before chillin' a reluctant nod bitch ass.

MEENAH: what be yiznou up ta?

KARKAT: WELL...

KARKAT so jus' chill: T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT’S LIKE, A WHOLE FUCK'N EXPLANATION.

MIZZLE: splizzain awave nubby

KARKIZZLE: I’M S-TO-THA-IZZORT OF 'N THA MIZZY OF FRONTIN' A WIDE SCALE GRASSROOTS REBELLION AGAINST AN INCREASINGLY AUTHORITARIAN GLOBAL HEGEMONY T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT BE OPPRESS'N OUR THUGZ.

MEENIZZLE so i can get on: hmm

Mizzle leans in, assess'n Karkat witta rapacious, shark-toothizzle grin. It sizzay that calla she’s see'n 'n dis olda, battle-hardened versizzle of Karkat impreszes ha. She starts laugh'n, big n bright hittin that booty. She slaps hizzle so hard on tha shoulda thizzay he nearly falls down. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house.

KARKAT: ACK.

MEENAH: now T-H-to-tha-izzats what im TALKIN 'bout

MIZZLE: yizzy i ciznould uze a niznew seacond 'n command

KARKAT: ACTUALLIZZLE, YOU’D BE *MAH* SIZZLE 'N COMMAND.

KARKIZZLE: NO OFFENZE OR NOTHIN' TRIPPIN', BUT MAH FACE IS ALREADY ON ALL THA POSTERS.

KARKAT: ALSO I DON’T EXACTLY HAVE THA MOST CONFIDENCE 'N YO' COMMAND ABILIZZLE SIPPIN' THA LAST TIME I SAW YOU, YOU WERE TALK'N BIG 'BOUT HOW YOU WERE BALLIN' TO TAKES DOWN LIZNORD ENGLISH, AND NOW YOU’RE EAT'N DIRT ON OUR SHITTY NEW PLIZZLE BANGIN' P-R-E-DOUBLE-TIZZY TRIPPIN' DEFEATED.

KARKAT: BUT TA BE HONEST, I NEE' ALL THA HIZZELP I CAN GIT.

MEENAH: oh yea no problem

MEENAH: ill be yizzay fuckin second homey

KIZZLE: YIZZY WILL?

MEENIZZLE: flizzay yes

KARKAT: WOW

MEENAH: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. yeah dude just pizzay me at wizzy tha actions at i dizzle even give a fizzay

MEENAH: wata tha orda bizzoss

KARKAT: OK DIS BE LIKE

KARKAT: I’M NOT EVEN SIZZY HIZZLE TA SAY DIS?

KIZZLE: I’M ACTUALLIZZLE REALLY FLATTERIZZLE, N KIND OF SINCERELY HONORED T-H-TO-THA-IZZAT YOU OF ALL THUGZ W-TO-THA-IZZANT TA FIZZLE ME? Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint.

KARKAT: Chill as I take you on a trip. IT’S L-TO-THA-IZZIKE, COMPLETIZZLE NIZZOT AT ALL WHIZZAT I...

MEENAH: yizzy ruin'n it dizzay

KARKAT: OH

KIZZLE: FUCK. SORRY.

KARKAT: I MEAN...

KARKAT from tha streets of tha L-B-C: HEY!

KARKIZZLE droppin hits: FISH ASSHOLE!

MEENAH: whizno me

KARKAT: YES TRIPPIN' YOU. THA FALLEN FASCIZZLE DIPSHIT WIT THA STOLEN RING.

KIZZLE: GIT THA *FIZNUCK* 'N LIZZY, BEFORE I *PUT* YIZNOU 'N LINE if you gots a paper stack!

MEENAH: oh

MEENAH: oh wow

MEENAH: Y-ES

MEENIZZLE: Y---ES SIR!!! 38D

Karkat rizzles out n takes ha hand and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. Sizzy has a very F-to-tha-izzirm handshake. So firm that Karkat winces an eye shut when shizze squeizzles n hopes that shizzle dizzoesn’t notice how M-to-tha-izzuch hizzy smile has turned into a grimace.

Above thizzay, tha skizny tears open again, n again. A new wave of ghosts piznours 'n fizzy Meenah’s dizzle assault.

MEENAH: well here comizzles tha caviarlry

KARKAT: Smells like tha good shit. THA WHAT?

MEENAH: Death row 187 4 life. tha cavia—

KARKAT: I’M ALSO FUCK'N STRAIGHT TRIPPIN' YIZZAY TA STOP STEPPIN' GIZZLE FISH PUNS FOREVER.

> ==>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #Epilogues #Candy #c25

[actualbird]

luke drives a motorbike in canon and it's a crime we havent seen it yet but also i cant decide which among these two motorbikes i want him to have most

wc: 1k

at the end of main story 2 when mc is escaping from the many media people tryna talk to her after her first big High Profile case, luke swoops in on a motorcycle, tosses mc a helmet, and whisks her off to safety

main story 2. thats so early in canon we were given the info that luke drives a motorbike

and we

have not

SEEN IT

frankly i dont think thats fair cuz //gestures at artem and vyn and marius. artem really likes driving and hes got two illustrations already of him driving fast (SSR Entwined Fate, SSR Wandering heart). vyn likes horseback riding and hes got SR Gentleman's Game with polo as a premise along with all card evolution images wheres hes riding the horse. AND while i dont have this card, marius in SR A Dance In The Clouds has him in the first evolution image as behind the "wheel" of an AIRCRAFT HE KNOWS HOW TO PILOT

(sidenote: marius, youre 21 years old. recently for work ive had to research aviation schools n timelines and. it takes many years. how the FUCK did marius von hagen have the time in his busy busy short life to get a pilot's license. what. how. it's hilarious but also HOW)

POINT IS, all the boys have been shown driving a vehicle (horse counts as a vehicle) of their specialty

except

LUKE!!!

PEARCE!!!!!!!

thats why this is a crime but i'll move on now, just had to get that off my chest

before i go into this i gotta tell ya, i know nothing about motorbike or motorcyle stats. i dont even know the difference between those two terms so i dont know what constitutes as a Good Motorbike. im going off of vibes

and one vibe from luke that both these options go into is his love for old stuff and antiques. stellis in the year 2030 has shown vehicles being slightly more futuristic (see: interior of car where theres no recognizable steering wheel, drives me NUTS) than what weve got now. but i dont think luke would go for an advanced looking model, i think he'd be drawn to more old style models liiike

-

option 1: classic harley davidson

my reasons for this are the following

it's old school so it fits with luke's affinity for things styled in the sensibility of past eras and also it's COOL. IT'S A COOL GUY MOTORCYLE. and i hate to admit this cuz it infuriates me sometimes, but luke is a cool person

i dont have to enumerate his coolness just //gestures to his long grocery list of skills that are cool and also dashingly masculine

the masculinity is also a factor bc while luke isnt tryna be Manly Man or anything (imo none of the boys are, thankfully) and is shown to not a give a shit about what ppl past his circle of loved ones think of him so yes he will spend a whole afternoon enraptured by a stray cat, his skills r still pretty skewed to societally seen Dude Activities. buncha sports, being the most physically strong person in stellis maybe, shooting, THE LIST GOES ON. so it wouldnt be outta place for luke to gravitate to whats societally seen as a Dude Motorcycle

so this fits imo and my last justification is the simple self indulgence: luke would look so frigging hot driving something like this. and im a simple luke stan, ok

show me luke pearce being hot on a cool guy motorcycle

-

option 2: a vespa

HUGE SWERVE IN VIBES I KNOW BUT HEAR ME OUT

for all that luke pearce is Cool (infuriating) he is also DORK (AFFECTIONATE, LOVINGLY, I AM LOOKING INTO HIS EYES WITH HEARTS IN MY OWN EYES)

the catalog of his dorktitude is as endless as his grocery list of coolness. a tinker and inventor, collector and enthusiast of antiques, was apparently so smart he went off to a top university at 16 yrs old which was earlier for everybody else in his age bracket, viddy games, and on and on and on. hes a nerd and it is delightful because enthusiasm is always so beautiful but im especially happy to see enthusiasm in things that arent always seen as "cool"

delightful but not "cool" is, i think, the unofficial tagline for a vespa

it's a WONDERFUL MOTORCYCLE. classic as well so it fits with what i mentioned earlier. and also it's reminiscent of movies where characters drive through quieter provinces and theres no action in the movie at all, the film is more focused on this vibe of like, enjoying the sunlight and grass and stuff

//points at luke pearce. for all that hes a literal action hero, he shines so brightly in moments where he enjoys the little things in life. the vespa, in my humble opinion, is the perfect motorbike to do this with

also he'd just look so cute driving it. //puts my face into my hands

-

in conclusion

im torn. i cannot decide. i want luke pearce cutting through stellis traffic on a harley davidson looking like the coolest person in the entire city. but i also want luke pearce stuck in stellis traffic on a vespa and everybody who sees him---sunshine boy on a sunshine motorcycle---finds a smile pulling at their lips

maybe he could have both? maybe theres garage space somewhere in that building he owns? why must i choose?

oh also, whatever motorcycle luke has, hes deffo modded to be Better, to be Optimized

so no matter what, there will be scenes where luke is doing infuriatingly attractive mechanic stuff. yknow, with the towel over shoulder, tank top outfit, expression of deep concentration and when mc calls out for him and shakes him outta The Zone he turns to her hes got a streak of grease on his face he didnt notice and mc will HAVE to come over and wipe it off and feel extremely flustered doing so

im not sure i made a point in this whole post. mhy, i want to see his motorcycle please

#tears of themis #luke pearce #tot luke #tears of themis headcanons #xia yan

[shoezuki]

i miss technos attitude towards mcc. like he tried hard and made sure his teammates knew what to do but if something was unfair or didnt go his way he just. never made a scene. like moved on and supported his friends in an instant. i miss that attitude.

like in mccpride they lost by 2 coins after wilburs fire alarm and he was comically upset for like. 30 seconds then supported tapl. i wish more of the skilled creators had that attitude rather being entitled to everything working right for them

GOD..... ABSOLUTELY. like i am Not a fan of competition at all n theres a Lot in mcc between highly skilled Big Players or even when the lower ppl get felt out of it n put down. Like. I LIKE watchin ppl own the games n do amazin but its so DRAINING to watch some a these dudes.

Techno tho like. His brand of Competitiveness is GREAT. its actually FUN. hes amazin at it all n strives to do GOOD but even when he looks to individual scores n his own points n stats he is STILL a major team player regardless of who hes with or the skill levels of who he plays w. The king takes both Ls and Ws with ABSOLUTE grace.

Ive never seen him Actually get toxic in these things n even when shit doesnt go in his favour or glitches or anythin doesnt go 100% hes still p fuckin chill. Even when the fans r toxic as fuck he does Not bother w that shit or feed into it or acknowledge it. Its amazin. Hes a cool dude.

Honest to god like if connor wasnt in this i wouldnta watched at all n idk if i will much cuz i HATE the culture thats grown around it n jus how cutthroat n competitive n brutal fans a gotten w this shit. Includin some a the players emselves. Like from betting actual money n shittin on vods n gettin mad at the noxcrew for shit reasons. It feels less like a fun chill event and is treated more like its a Major Thing of the Greatest players ever competing n dukin it out to find Whos Best.

I miss technos nonchalance n great attitude but i also Totally understand him not wantin to play anymore. Hes like a tryhard who dont wanna be seen Only as a minecraft sweat n i respect it. I still will forever miss what he brought to the table

#where is he :(

[tinyboxxtink]

“Helpless” *FINALE*

Mwahahaha I got around the un-even numbering. Well, this is it! I hope you’ve enjoyed this series as much as I enjoyed writing it. I really need to make a Master List of all my “works”, but if you wanna check out my other stuff just type “Rafael Barba Imagine” into the search bar of my page. 

As always, big thanks to my lovies:

@wanniiieeee

@dumauier

@word-scribbless

@chasingeverybreakingwave

The COMPLETE Collection:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

And without further ado, the CONCLUSION!!!!

After your shower and you were in some clean pink scrubs, you decided it would probably be best to go look for the squad. Apparently you were still “a suspect”, so you didn’t want to make it look like you were trying to flee or something. 

You found your way back to the waiting room, but only Fin and Carisi were still there.

“...Where’d Benson and Rollins go?” You asked, glancing around the area.

“Well it’s like 4 am, they both have kids, I’d told them we’d update them if anything happened with Barba,” Carisi told you.

“Which you can now do,” Fin added, grabbing his jacket off a chair.

“...I’m sorry, what?” you asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be ‘watching’ me or something?” 

“They combed your street and found the gun, the idiots tossed it as they were driving. And as far as your whole ‘hustling’ business, if Barba vouches for you, I’m not gonna bother with a shitload of paperwork just because you got some money out of some old white dudes,” Fin chuckled.

“So you’re off the hook, and I’d really like to sleep in my own bed,” Carisi patted your back as he walked out with Fin. 

“I--Are you sure? Olivia isn’t gonna--” 

“Olivia’s gonna be a lot of things, but none of it matters legally speaking. So y'all need to work that out on your own,” Fin held up his hands like he was washing his hands of the drama.

“Right. Well I’m sure the doctor will call her,” You really didn’t want to have to talk to her anymore than you needed to. 

“Right. Night, Y/N” Carisi waved as they continued to walk down the hallway and out the front doors.

Okay, so now you were alone. On your own. In a hospital. Great.

Suddenly, you remembered the magical sticker. You pulled it out of the scrubs pocket and stuck it to your shoulder. Then you turned to the big doors that read 

“ICU: Approved Personnel ONLY”

Well, you were in scrubs.You took a deep breath and made a sign of the cross before you walked confidently through the doors. Hopefully people would just assume you were a nurse. 

You were met on the other side with a bustle of doctors and nurses running around, patients being pushed through the hallways; lots of machines were beeping, and you could hear a CODE BLUE down the hall. 

“Please don’t be Rafael Please don’t be Rafael…” you closed your eyes and whispered, but were quickly interrupted.

“Excuse me sweetie, are you lost?” An older male doctor tapped your shoulder.

“Oh um-- yeah YES. I am,” you lied. This is what you did best, just roll with it. 

“It’s my first day, and I got separated from my group. We were doing rounds, and I believe our next room was the ADA?” 

“The ADA…?” The doctor started typing in his tablet, as if someone would add “The ADA of New York” in his patient notes.

“I think his name is Ralph something,” you lied; a nurse wouldn’t be all on the up and up of law people, would they?

“Ah. Rafael Barba. Oh you’re right, it says VIP PATIENT here. He must be something special,” 

“He really is,” You sighed, causing the doctor to look at you funny. 

“I mean, so I’ve heard,” 

“Well it says here DO NOT DISTURB, so I don’t believe you were doing rounds in his room…” The doctor raised an eyebrow as he tilted the tablet towards you. You saw “ROOM 304” next to Rafael’s name.

“Oh, you know what you’re right! I think they said we were NOT rounding on him, y’know cuz he’s the ADA,” You gent;y rubbed your shoulder against his. “I must’ve gotten mixed up because of your beautiful blue eyes,” you batted your lashes, to which the elderly doctor happily ate up.

“Oh well, no harm no foul,” He smiled.

“Ok well I’m sure I can find them, thank you doctor!” you gave him the cheesiest smile and a wink, walking away quickly. You made it into an elevator right before it closed. Luckily, the only other person in it was “Another” nurse, who looked like she might pass out right there in the elevator; she paid you no mind. 

You hit FLOOR 3 and rode up to the floor, practically jumping out of the elevator. You turned to see signs that pointed 300-320 left and 320-340 right. You went left, searching the numbers until you saw 304. You looked around to make sure no one had noticed you definitely did not belong there, and when the coast was clear you opened the door slowly and snuck in the room.

“Excuse me, can I help you?” 

Fuck, you were caught. You were running multiple scenarios of lies in your head as you turned around, but to your relief it was the nurse who had given you the sticker.

“Ah, I see it worked,” she gestured to the sticker on your uniform.

“It did, thank you so much,” You thanked her softly, your eyes moving towards Rafael’s still unconscious body. You immediately grabbed a chair and pulled it up next to him, stroking his hair. 

“Hey...baby I’m here,” You whispered, wondering whether he could hear you or not.

“It says here he coded three times in surgery, but he came back,” The nurse read his chart off her tablet.

“Why….why would I want to know that?” you asked almost angrily.

“...Patients have a lot to do with their own response and recovery,” she replied. “I was just implying he was fighting like hell for something,” she smiled, making you smile for the first time since Rafael had left you at your apartment. God, that moment had been so perfect; how did you get here from there? 

“I’ll put a DO NOT DISTURB” sign on the door, no one will bother you,” The nurse put a hand on your shoulder as she started to walk out. “I think he’s going to be okay sweetie, I really do,” 

“Thanks,” You gave her a small nod, and she was gone. Leaving just you and Rafael, alone. 

“So...I’ve never seen a guy work so hard to get me alone,” You chuckled, calling back to the first conversation you had at Forlini's. That seemed like a lifetime ago now.

“Hey so, they caught Arianna and those guys,” you kept talking, praying he was listening. “I think they’re gonna go to jail for a LONG time,” you stroked his hair. 

“So, y’know obviously that means I’m out a roommate. Probably an apartment too, I don’t really know what Arianna did about that. Surely she didn’t just get out of a six month lease in the middle of the night, she must have just thought they could abandon the apartment. 

“So, if you know of  any fancy mahogany couches that are open, let me know,” You tried joking again with a fake laugh, but it just turned into tears.

“I’m so sorry, Rafael,” you whispered. “I never intended for any of this to happen. I should have never even talked to you, I should have just admired you from afar and sniffed your scotch glasses in private like a fucking creep,” you laughed for real between your tears.

“I just--” you started to talk again, but you felt Rafael’s hand squeeze yours. 

“....R-Rafa?” 

Suddenly, Rafael started to thrash and choke, his breathing tube was still breathing for him.

“NURSE!!! NURSE!!” You jumped up and screamed down the hall; your lucky nurse came rushing in. She quickly pulled the tube out and after a few gasping breaths, Rafael finally calmed down. He was conscious, but his eyes were barely open. 

“Welcome back, Mr. Barba,” The nurse smiled. “I think you gave this one quite the scare,” She nodded to you, to which Barba gave the weakest smile. 

He tried to speak, but just scratchy gibberish came from his mouth. But his beautiful green eyes were more open and had their sparkle back. 

“Your throat will be sore for a while,” The nurse informed him. “....But everything else seems to be doing good!” She checked all of Rafael’s stats on his machines, and the different tubes coming out of his body. 

“I’ll be back later-- let you two, catch up,” She gave you both a knowing smile, then walked out the door.

“I...told...you,” he hoarsely croaked. 

“What? You told me what?!” You asked him frantically, as if this was some kind of ominous threat.

“I’d….,” He cleared his throat as you grabbed a water bottle off a nearby table. 

“I told you, I’d fight for you,” He said almost completely normally after taking a swig of the water.

“...Yeah, well-- I think that was a bit much, don’t you, counselor?” You raised an eyebrow, implying taking a bullet for someone after the first date is a bit melodramatic.

“I mean, here,” he pointed to the bed. 

“W-What?” you blinked in confusion. 

“I fought to come back,” he took your hand and kissed the back of it. “For you,” 

“Why?” you blinked again, still in awe.

“Because you asked me to,” He smiled, taking his free hand and stroking your hair back as you had been doing while he was out. 

“Y-You heard all of that?!” you gasped.

“Well, I thought I had hallucinated it until you just confirmed it for me,” He gave you a mischievous smile.

“Oh my god,” You blushed and hit him softly, forgetting about his tubes and shoulders. He winced in pain, and you immediately started to comfort him again.

“Oh my GOD, what is wrong with me?! Are you ok?”

“I’m fine, carino. And I’m not done yet either,” his words made you stop fiddling with the wires and look him straight in the eyes.

“....Done what?”

“Done loving you, dummy,” he shook his head as if to say “DUH.” 

“Oh my god you DID hear all of it!” You put your hands over your face, your face turning red. Then you realized what he had actually said. 

“WAIT...did you just say…?” your eyes bugged out of your head. 

“I love you, Y/N.” he smiled sweetly, squeezing your hand.

“Really? Are you sure? Because we can just--” He shut you up by leaning over and kissing you. 

“Since I saw you sniff my scotch glass,” He cut you off. “I thought ‘I’m gonna marry that weird girl one day’,” 

“Whoa whoa whoa, slow down there mister,” You put your hands up. “I mean, you can almost die for me, but marriage? That seems a bit much,” You gave him a tongue-in-cheek smile. 

“We’ll negotiate,” He smirked. “In the meantime…” He moved himself away on his bed, adjusting the wires to make a space. He patted it for you to get in.

“I...I don’t think these are made for two people, what if I break it?” You eyed the bed, trying to calculate the weight max.

“I’ll buy them another one,” he chuckled.

“Oh right, with your copious amounts of money,” you rolled your eyes with a smile.

“Yeah, better spending it on that then more ties,” he smirked.

“NO. Never stop buying ties!” You giggled, climbing into the bed with him. He adjusted the arm that wasn’t in a sling around you. You snuggled into him, and he placed a kiss on your forehead. The feeling was back; the safe and warm feeling

And you knew in your heart, you’d never feel helpless again. 

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction

[roughentumble]

god ok so i know i only tell crappy stories abt my ex, which makes me feel like an ass cuz he rly wasnt that bad, he was just a Regular Dude and ofc everyone's worst moments r what stick out in yr brain and are easiest to turn into Stories

but at the same time now EVERY time i see a story abt, like, rolling a new character for DnD, i think abt. it was like right b4 we broke up, and it wasnt a DnD game i was part of so i only heard abt it from him(plus its been a hot minute so some of the details r fuzzy), but he'd joined this campaign, and he had a character idea he was rly excited abt(he had like a backstory in mind n shit) but right at the last second the DM was like.... instead of just rolling stats and distributing them how you like, i want everyone to roll for stats in order, and what you get is what you get. which, i guess is a dick move to pull without any warning, but like

his response was to..... make a totally different character, who was sortve a little troll(in the internet sense, not the DnD race) and he worked to be a pain in the ass and tried to die on purpose n shit, in order to like. get a chance to make the character he wanted to originally make. and he was just being an ass and derailing shit, and eventually he kinda left and the rest of the campaign fizzled and fell apart, and i was just like

dude. youre CONSTANTLY bitching to me about how you have no friends, and no one to talk to, and trying to spend a few hours on the phone with me, and yet you literally wouldnt suck it up and even ATTEMPT to play some fun DnD? instead you ruined it for everyone? like. sorry but no wonder youve got no one to talk to my dude. you couldnt suck it the fuck up over a minor stat roll dispute

also like, DnD is a Game. it is Fake. if a character dies, or you dont like the stat roll, or whatever, no one is going to put you in jail if you save the sheet and just reroll new stats for them in a different campaign. you can literally reuse dead characters, because there is no DnD police. you literally couldve just used the guy you wanted to, and then if you didnt like the campaign reuse him in a different one

i???? what the fuck

#wait i think maybe i learned about this AFTER we broke up #tbis was like..... during the pandemic and we broke up before the pandemic #still. #anyway. i think abt it constantly #im like ok so yr so lonely yr suicidal but yr sabotaging any possibility of healthy contact w/ other ppl #becuz it didnt go EXACTLY how u wanted.... #like ok i guess :/

[thevioletjones]

The Ian & Mickey Show

Week 9

Timestamps

3:33-4:54 - Ian wakes up hugging a pillow, presumably missing Mickey’s absent body. There’s a loud rumbling and an embarrassingly clown car-ish honking outside the house waking everybody up. It’s Mickey making a grand entrance on that sweet mint green Vespa scooter, and (very horribly and stiffly) “making out” with this unfortunate looking tiny twink named Byron (they def picked the most pretentious name possible for this interloper). Mickey is for sure putting on a big show for Ian that’s like 30% revenge, 70% pettiness. At first, you would think Mickey just paid some rando to act a part for a little while, but I guess Mickey is just conning this lil guy. Mickey grabs his ass in front of Ian, boasts about the guy’s “super tight asshole,” and casually strolls past him to get into the Gallagher house, because I guess he’s still staying there. And also, Ian’s leg is broken, but we knew that, cuz Cam. {For a better scene, keep the video rolling past the 4:54 mark and ogle Jeremy Allen White naked in the shower. It was his turn this week I guess. You’re safe, Cam.}

6:37-8:20 - Ian eats breakfast with Liam & Carl, and they discuss Mickey’s being off with the other dude, and it’s clear that Ian thinks Mickey is just lashing out and once it’s out of his system, he’ll just come back. Lip and his baby mama and her crazy Trumper aunt are in the scene as well. They all concur that in Lip’s words, “Ian left Mickey at the altar,” but Ian doesn’t see it that way. He honestly thinks they were gonna get married for the wrong reason. His contradiction and ambivalence is honestly the only thing that feels realistic about all of this mess. 

13:30-14:36 - Mickey continues needling Ian very broadly and obviously about how great this Byron kid is and how much sex they’ve been having, and even implies he’s a Koch, which is silly. Mickey goes so far as to claim he’s in love with this guy (they met last night) and says he’s moving in with him. It’s dumb-o. 

18:35-20:58 - Ian somehow just now discovers that 50% of all marriages end in divorce????? That’s been true for so long now, even someone the show is now painting as kind of an idiot (but not half as big of one as Mickey is) would know that stat. It’s just more EXPOSITION. Anyway, he’s hanging out with Liam in the kitchen, and Debbie comes in. Ian tells her that: “Mickey’s a punk, and he’s decided he’s gonna fuck other people if I don’t marry him.” She says Ian’s just scared, and he should marry Mickey to make him happy, even if it does end in divorce eventually. Ian’s all, “I’m not scared,” but not even Liam believes him. Ian invites Liam to go run an errand, and they steal Trumpy Aunt’s wallet on the way out.

28:06-28:54 - OMG, small Byron has that bright Disco Overlook Hotel area rug from Ikea that I really wanted to buy some years back adorning the floor of his tiny loft. Sad face. Anyway, Mickey barges in and throws his garbage bag of crap everywhere and says he won’t share the bed, Byron needs to sleep on the floor. Says some lines about when he wants his dinner served, and how they’ll only have sex when Mickey wants to, and obviously he’ll top cuz this dude’s “basically a chick,” which is a funny line, tbh. ALSO, this pretty much proves they haven’t even actually banged, since they haven’t even discussed preferences. Lol. So yeah, Mickey is using this kid for anything and everything he can, cuz he found a big ol’ sweetie pie pushover (that’s maybe a little bit afraid of him). 

33:50-34:36 - Ian makes Liam try on engagement man-rings, because: “Mickey has freakishly small hands.” They’re at the Alibi and combing through the jewelry a shady hawker is selling. Ian buys two rings on Trumpy Aunt’s credit card. 

42:53-44:52 - I really miss Ian & Lip scenes, tbh. I used to love their brotherly friendship. Some of the old magic feels back in this scene, idk. Ian tells Lip he’s gonna go propose to Mickey. Lip asks him why, and Ian says it’s cuz he loves him, but then after a pause says that Debbie told him to. Even though Ian wants Mickey back, he also clearly wants Lip to talk him out of marriage, which he kind of does (for now). Lip says he should do it one day, after he figures out why he doesn’t want to now. 

47:06-51:10 - A genuine FOUR MINUTE scene! Ian shows up at Byron’s place (where’d he get the address tho???) and Mickey’s been hanging out there for like a handful of hours maybe, but this lil dude just wants him GONE already. Lmao. He clearly knows who Ian is and practically runs into his arms in a grateful hug, saying, “Oh, thank god, PLEASE take him back!” Ian is like wtf, and waits as this guy calls Mickey “honey” and says he has a visitor. Mickey makes another big show implying impending sexy times, grabbing at a very not into it Byron as he retreats up the stairs. Mickey seriously greets Ian like, “What’s up, bro!” I meeeean... Anyway, Ian I guess decided in transit that he’s not gonna propose, he’s just gonna say these are “promise rings” and has some line about how: “Gallaghers and marriage don’t mix well, but a Gallagher keeps his promise.” Since... when??? Like... Frank??? And... what??? Lol... Mickey’s not buying that shit either. He makes a good point about Ian not even wearing his “promise ring” on his finger, but around his neck instead (someone caught a Sex & the City rerun where Carrie carries that rock on a necklace, cuz she’s def not sure about marrying Aidan), where no one can even see it. Ian says he’s not saying “never” to marriage, and Mickey counters that he’s actually saying that he doesn’t love Mickey enough right now. And then he says he’s got Barry anyway, and Ian has to correct the name, which is a nice touch, I’ll admit. And then comes Cam’s best bit of acting on this show in like Y-E-A-R-S. I always thought he did best when he was in depressed/manic mode, and that comes through here when Ian actually gets to the heart of his real fears about committing fully to Mickey, which are of course that he doesn’t trust himself and doesn’t think Mickey should be tied to him and all his crazy bullshit. He doesn’t understand how Mickey can know for sure that he loves him. All that internalized shit is stuff I can easily actually relate to, and this is really the first 100% truly honest moment we’ve had between IxM in all of season 10. I hope we get one or two more by the end. I don’t really completely buy Mickey’s reaction being, “When you get over the ‘I’m not worthy of being loved’ shit, gimme a call,” because he is the fucking KING of not thinking he’s worthy of being loved! That's always been a huge component of who he is, and how I always write him to be, personally (always struggling to think of himself as worthy of anything good, particularly love, among many many other internal struggles, obvs). He also knows exactly how low Ian can get on his down-swings, and since we know from s5 that Mickey likes taking care of Ian, I just don’t think he’d treat him this way. I’m not saying he would give in, but we would see some softness come through. A lighter touch. Anyway, Ian looks super sad as he walks away, but then he spots Barry’s Vespa in the alleyway and gets his own bit of petty revenge (on the wrong person) by pissing in his gas tank, cuz Shameless!

Episode Tally: 8 scenes. 13 mins 10 secs.

#sorry this got so long lol #guess i had some thoughts #ian x mickey #gallavich #the ian & mickey show #shameless spoilers #10x09 #timestamps #shameless

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

the kitty she a good one - u prolly wanna scroll down and then back up yah imma use yo yo again ono as a metaphor but i forget for wat - its late after midnight - therz dishes - and a store trip cuz hydration is important and the moon - there wuz birdsong and crow call well into evening - and omg 2 teenagers and a wife who like to get emojis ther half my waking day go and fuck all as usual some daze fuck all is a stretch 

i did write some checks and mailed a bill - at some point i did something to earn the money to pay the bill - duz the past count 

wuz thinking of the horror of something like a golf retirement tho sum w an 8.6 on a fuckin par 4 wearing a collared fuck me shirt - green if u pleez - wait i just realized the secret of the universe  - a fuck me shirt duz not have to b green or have a collar otherwise there would b no need to specify unless a lot of ppl wearing fuck me shirts - i post the video sew u unnastand if u wanna - but there is more offensive material than im posting  - well not offensive to me - certainly nothing like say gun violence fer instance - u decide - or even offhand cruelty or even just meanness 

not held up by kites - thats a positive i think  - my delusions r at worst harmless and i believe some of them - do u 

thats not clear - i post delusions that i feel fact sometimes w a caveat a cravat too fussy  - or when i say im flying or flew or leave my body tho i did jest the other day floating on the ceiling at acupuncture and vita after tell me she leave her body a bit b4 i tell her and yah we question the experience  - we dont question 1st meeting playing knowing magic - im still trynna recover some of the rifs notes harmonies overtones from that night 1st hearing as well  - i didnt need to tune for hours playing and there wuznt a bad note and she got songs w capos and 4 keys and chords i dont know or completely understand that confuse the fuck out of me if i do anything resembling thinking after multiple playings  - slowly finding some new things to add to songs i have the basics down - in my quirky messy sloppy real as fuck way that never come quite out the same way 

fuck it 1 am and there r still dishes - they again dissapoint me by not having learned - some despite over 30 yrs of training by example multiple x daily - to wash themselves - now i dont expect the impossible - i will put them in the dish rack to dry and then put away - i know they have mobility issues - t - u not even making sense to yourself or tina weymouth either -one of these day someone take u 2 srs  and ur typing - uh challenged at best is barely legible  - sleep - stat - say nightnight

love

#poetry i guess

[greensconnor]

i’m asking about your dragon age characters

molly i would KILL for u im ur personal hitman now

anyway i said my city now because the entire bioware writing team sucks shit xoxo and i’m so much smarter than all of them but also fully incapable of having a normal amount of ocs for anything (see: the time i made 20 rwby ocs in less than two weeks) so i have. five worldstates here r some assorted thoughts

uhhh so the worldstates r as follows

eira mahariel (two-handed berserk/champ spec), rhett hawke (two-handed berserk spec), alas lavellan (mage knight enchanter spec), romanced alistair/fenris/dorian respectively

shiv tabris (dual wield duelist/assassin spec), radella “rads” hawke (mage spirit healer spec), kat adaar (two-handed reaver spec), romanced morrigan/isabela/cassandra respectively because im a pc gamer and i think i should be able to date whatever video game woman i like because im infinitely better than cishet men

this world state said yeah i respect mens rights. mens rights to shut the fuck up

twins bronson (sword/shield reaver spec) & bryant cousland (archer ranger spec), carmine hawke (archer assassin spec), syracuse trevelyan (dual wield tempest spec), romanced zevran/anora/josephine/bull. if ur wondering how that works my city now and the warden, hawke and the inquisitor should all meet and so they do because i Said So

riva amell (mage arcane warrior/battlemage spec), graham “gray” hawke (mage force spec), hellathen “hela” lavellan (archer assassin spec); romanced cullen/anders and later blackwall because hawke only likes men who will break his heart. hela doesn’t have a romance because she’s literally 20. who let her lead the inquisition (me it was me). also it should be noted the version of cullen i have in my head only vaguely resembles actual cullen because i write better than dragon age writers ever could and i gave him an Actual Cohesive Narrative and he gets bullied relentlessly for being scrawnier than his mage boyfriend

malien “mal” surana (mage spirit healer/keeper spec), jules hawke (sword/shield reaver spec), ash adaar (mage rift spec), romanced leliana/merrill/krem because i should have been able to kiss krem and its a Crime that i am not allowed to

knight enchanter is a Very op specialization and by Very op i mean it makes a mage with their built-in low constitution stats able to solo the biggest baddest dragon in the game on nightmare mode in under five minutes so like. alas lavellan fist fights dragons for fun send tweet

i think lavellans should be able to hit ppl with bricks for all the shit they endure. thus solas gets pranked by mahariel and alas by which i mean they just tip buckets of water onto him from the rookery

kat might be my only competent inquisitor but she did also try to knock out the right hand of the divine and attempt to gap even tho there’s fucky magic burning up her hand so does she have a brain cell? you decide

also its fantasy land and i do what i want so kat has blue/gold sectoral heterochromia

gray “mage rights” hawke is best friends with fenris which surprises literally everyone. their friendship started because they got into a fist fight and then they were like okay i respect u now. hawke is like hey fenris give me ur sword i have a fun trick to show u [uses his sword as a foci to zap carver in the ass with lightning]

i am Always thinking abt like how cullen could have been one man anti-chantry propaganda machine if he hadn’t so blatantly been shoehorned into every game past origins so anyway bioware forgot about a wholeass moon i can write what i like. [holds up cullen by the scruff of his stupid armor] not only are you bisexual you are also a bottom

i also Hate the whole uwu mage haters get fixed by romancing a mage

unlocked secret dialogue option where my inquisitors verbally cuss out dorian’s dad instead of whatever sympathetic narrative the writers were going for cuz its bullshit.

riva is a showoff and a Menace about being as good as he is because he unabashedly loves being a mage and hes like oooh look at me im sexy i dont need to use my hands to cast magic because i’m just that good ;)) and you know what. hes right.

gray, on the other hand, does Not want to be mage. he wants to be a druffalo farmer and retire in the hinterlands and be left the fuck alone. unfortunately he is gay and has one brain cell and terrible, terrible taste in men. ribbed relentlessly for this by riva (altho does he have room to talk hes been hung up on cullen since he was like 13)

shiv is trans n kieran is the result of doing the dark ritual with her wife and he looks a Lot like shiv (dark skin pointed ears, shock-white hair) and morrigan always just Assumed she dyed it or did something magic with it so seeing their kid come out like that was a WEIRD time for her

leliana almost Murdered by cassandra in worldstate 5 because the warden is Actually There The Whole Time, but its been 10 years, mal’s cut off all her hair and gotten full facial tattoos and she’s like “no one will know its me its fine” and she’s right. she gets away with it. only cullen like, Knows, because he knew her before the blight but he doesnt have a death wish n he like. will Not piss her off

shes dalish by birth n she was stolen from her clan by templars and thus is vehemently anti-circle and anti-chantry in general

uhhh the vallaslin (elf face tattoos) of my 4 dalish characters are:

eira = ghilan’nain (chose em cuz shes rlly interested in the navigation aspect of the goddess)

alas = falon’din (god of the dead n he picked them because he’s Also the god of fortune and alas is like tee hee fun but also he can and will kill u if u fuck with him so yk its fitting)

hela = june (god of the craft bc she likes to Make things but june is also the god who taught the elves 2 hunt and hela is. a hunter.)

mal = elgar’nan (allfather/god of vengeance bc. she is Vengeful. she is Angry. but yk fucking with shem politics and fucking their divine is like. mal may have little a retribution. as a treat.) yes she has the full half-face solid colour tattoo she does NOT fuck around.

bronson and bryant r not genetically identical but they Look similar enough 2 anyone who doesn’t know them well enough 2 play spot the distance. anora and bronson think this is a super fun game to play, especially when nobles realize they’ve swapped out the king but they’re too nervous to say anything

eira mahariel has two hands. one is for holding hands with alistair and the other is for throttling elven gods, apparently. she’s killed one before so solas she’s coming for your bitch ass next. watch urself.

speaking of eira and alistair are married thru dalish tradition and humans don’t recognize it n alistair loves 2 re-propose to her with random things. he’ll just pick up like. a bit of cheese and be like “marry me ;)” and she’s like GASP but whatever will the chantry say!!!! all of their friends r sick of them

“vhenan if you love me bring me a sword” “you think i could do better than a sword made out of space rock?” “:)”

eira is my youngest hero at 18 at the start of her game and kat is my oldest at 32 at the start of her game.

none of my hawkes are under six foot. rhett is the tallest (6′8″) and rads is the shortest (6′2″).

syracuse trevelyan would have been the Perfect inquisitor if he were not a pretty boy himbo and a gay bastard who does Most Things just to spite his parents.

[corypheus pointing at syracuse’s visage in his crystal orb thingo] i want that twink obliterated

i love the companions from older games return thing i truly do so i make it a point for Every companion to return in inquisition so the gang rlly is all here because i am a Slutte for found family

i lie in my keep worldstates because i dont want to choose between hawke and alistair during here lies the abyss but i never make him king and every time i play inquisition and cole has the wicked grace line it makes me Scream. alistair baby im so sorry i did this to you but i didnt actually do this to you

yes this is my everyone lives au but like. all the time. i have never left hawke in the fade and i do not intend to.

fuck whatever nonsense about wardens not being able 2 have kids. by sheer divine power (me) anora and bryant have three daughters; eleanor, sabina & cecelia n both bronson and zevran make Excellent uncles because i think anora deserves good things because i’m tired of bioware being like women bad, actually,

so like most of the time i have the warden & hawke turning up after the move to skyhold n then staying on, with the exception of bryant, carmine & mal. mal is as mentioned previously just There the whole time with her girlfriend. bryant steps in as king of ferelden w/ interests in closing the big hole in the sky spewing demons in2 his kingdom yk. carmine shows up because she wants to help & she wants protection for bethany but she outright says she’d rather die than be inquisitor so cassandra is shit out of luck.

“CHANGE HER MIND VARRIC” “she once doubled down on insisting amaranth was a shade of blue because she didn’t want to admit to being wrong. no one’s changing her mind seeker”

alas is the middle child of eight and is thus very good with children and also bossing around people older than him. 2 of his older siblings come to the inquisition when stuff in wycome has been settled

i left ash with the basic canon background with Some variation (he grew up under the qun and left of his own free will when his magic was discovered n he realized he couldn’t take living as a saarebas

kat on the other hand was raised tal-vashoth and has bounced around basically all over thedas and leads her own merc company when the conclave blows up. she also speaks multiple languages. is there a language she doesn’t speak? probably not

just realized how long this got so im gonna like. stop my general rambling now but lmao yeah theres some basics. waves hands.

#sol.txt #sol.orig #long post #late night followers im SO sorry for this #but also like. #i love them so yall just have 2 cope w/ it #no thoughts head dragon age #peonydarling

[unproduciblesmackdown]

prime number asks

Thank Yougd... :’-0

2:How long have you known your best friend? 

ah that’s soph nothingunrealistic........uhh i guess that was since last november! since we started talking anyways; i may have Known Of Soph’s Fics since october. i’m not sure of these dates. so yeah let’s say 10 months

3:What position do you normally sleep in?

lmao i can’t ever decide......on my back or on my right side i guess? in a perfect world i’d sleep on a giant mattress b/c i generally need to stretch my legs way out and i’m 6 ft tall. gotta be stretched out or Able to be stretched out. sometimes i sleep a bit curled up but also i’ll be lying there and seized by the Need To Extend yknow

5:Who was your favorite teacher in high school and why?

i wasn’t in high school lol........uh there was this 2-week school-ish thing i did for a few summers in a row (like middle school age) and my fave teacher in that was mr mckenna, who did History-Related stuff. he was just a really fun and friendly guy who was enthusiastic about teaching and i love that. same reason i loved this music professor in college even though i was hardly studying music 

7:Did you participate in any sports while in school?

no

11:Do you like your siblings? Why or why not?

they’re alright! we’re not really close Like Family or anything lmao, more like chill acquaintances with a lot of history of running jokes and movies we like....we all started getting along way better when we had a lot of space lmao (me and my sister starting college within the same like 2 yrs and being residential students) and were never really like, Share Everything Personal Talks close, mostly just goofed around together. now we continue to be in entirely different places so, friendly acquaintances. they’re alright. my brother tended to know me better than my sister did in later years and probably now, since we talk on twitter but i haven’t like actually directly talked to my sister in like, years. rip. oh yeah and my sister had this weird commitment to taking a Criticize-y approach to me sometimes?? and i was like, who is this for!! you’re not straight either why are you actively backing our homophobic mom’s paroxysms over my undercut........like who was this for......mysteries

13:Name one movie that made you cry.

this is hard not because i don’t cry at movies but b/c it’s like “think of movies you’ve seen” and i’m like oh god oh fuck...............see right now i’m like “you’ve cried watching lotr like a dozen times or probably more” and so now i Can’t think of anything else

17:Have you ever broken a bone? If so, how?

r/neverbrokeabone

19:Where did you grow up?

northern va, the dmv area, abt 20 mi from dc for my first 3-4 yrs of life, then 40 mi away

23:When is your birthday?

march 16. everyone is born in march. tf is up with june. great month, but like, i swear that say, february isn’t seeing these Everyone Born This Month stats as march always has. and as a month it sucks. just the miserable lingering deathwatch of winter, the shittiest season

29:What is a strange talent that you have?

man idk i’m a bit boring. i have pretty Keen color vision and also tend to be good at telling if things are Parallel / Perpendicular or not. fun!!!!!!!!!

31:Why did one of your friendships end?

uhhh they tend to fade out.....my friends from school was like, oops i’m going to college bye, never really talk to you people anymore b/c who needs facebook.....then it’s like oops we’re not in college, we’re twitter mutuals but that’s about it..........and even with the Internet Friend Circle i was around for the longest it was eventually like “oh i don’t really Like half of you that much” and i wasn’t really in the sub-friend-circles that formed there so i just kind of sidled off into my own corner. every “just say you have no friends and go” zinger fired off here by people who i guess want to make fun of people who don’t have friends is About Me. i was pwned

37:What is word that you always seem to spell wrong?

i Think i have camaraderie down at this point.....uh connoisseur?? i think that might be right now too....french things......i have to think about separation pretty much each time

41:When was the last time you got really really happy and why?

wow really Really is a tall order..........idk i can get pretty happy when i’m just excited about whatever. and if i’m also getting Interactions about it, that’s like, just further mood boost. cuz i’m actually a Social Person, i can just like only really talk about that shit i like. so when i can do that it’s like oh, fuck yes.......beyond that uhhhhhh. 

43:How do you start a conversation?

lmao..............i almost never do. over a Shared Interest though if anything

47:What is your favorite series of books?

hmm i’ve never read That many series!! i guess book for book i gotta go for the usual answer, the ya ashbury-brookfield series by jaclyn moriarty, which can count as standalones.........i related to a lot of really varied characters but it’s usually like “#me but i don’t do that” in that i don’t externally tend to act like the faves i point to to be like Mood, but if there’s any character that’s pretty much externally what i’m like it’s briony from the murder of bindy mackenzie

#Anonymous

[hella-slow-writer]

Fic update

Okay, i finally have time and motivation to continue working on 3 of my most important fics. It’s too gay to be fucked 3, Garrett/Andrew PWP (yes pwp cuz im nasty), and a big multi-chapter YT FGO AU that no one cares about lmao.

It’s gonna get fucked 3 is 70% done, still fixing some last part of the chapter before i send it back to my friends to be beta-ed. 

Garrett/Andrew PWP is sadly still 20% WIP, mainly because lack of... motivation. Hopefully Shane’s new series contains more Garrett/Andrew interactions to boost my motivation to continue it lmao.

YT FGO AU still... 10%. I still haven’t decided if i want to make it some slice-of-life genre where its about the YT Servants interacting with each other or more serious story with heavy plot (kinda like a fusion between FGO’s Lostbelt+Singularity arcs). Although i already have a long list of Youtubers who i will use in the fics (all bbs boys will be featured ofc). More talk about this AU under Read More.

Okay, now yall know. I just want to give a little bit of update since i keep gaining more and more followers and i dont want to give an impression of this blog being abandoned. Wish me luck and thanks for still sticking around waiting for my not-so-good writings lol.

Oh, hey! If you read this, oh god do you actually care or show interest in this AU???? Hit me up boi and lemme know so i wouldnt be so depressed thinking no one would read this shitty AU lmao.

Current list of Servants who would appear in the first arc/chapter is: Vanoss, Laurenzside, and Moo Snuckel. I think maybe those three will be like FGO’s Mashu, who will stick around until the end of time lmao. Other than those three, there’s Ohmwrecker, Gloomgames, Kubz Scouts, Cartoonz, and Garrett Watts who also played major part in the first arc/chapter. I will also possibly adding Andrew Siwicki and Jacksepticeye, although i still haven’t deciding what their role going to be.

Oh yeah, Daithi de Nogla and Mini Ladd will also appear. Although they are not Servants like the other, their role is going to be a normal human who manages Chaldea (kinda like Romani Archaman and Da Vinci lmao).

Below is kinda like in-game stats of the 8 servants featured first. I do this so i will remember what skill and class they have, and also because creating a stats of them is really fun lmao. I wont show what their NP gonna be though, because it’s a secret winkwink

Vanoss aka Bat Owl, Evan Rarity: SSR Saber Cost: 16 ATK: 1.841/11,755 HP: 1,695/11,554 Grail ATK: 13,112 Grail HP: 12,768 Attribute: Earth Growth Curve: Linear Star Absorption: 86 Star Generation: 10 % NP Charge ATK: 0.82% NP Charge DEF: 4% Death Rate: 19.4% Alignments: Neutral・Good Gender: Male Commands Cards: QQABB (Quick: 2 Hits, Arts: 2 Hits, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 4 Hits) Skills:  - Charisma C Increase party's ATK for 3 turns. - Disengage A Remove own debuffs. Recovers own HP. - Superhero Strength A Charges NP gauge. Increases own NP strength. Noble Phantasm: ??? 

Moo aka Moo Snuckel, Brock, Early Bird Rarity: SR Rider Cost: 12 ATK: 1,259/8,084 HP: 1,573/11,160 Grail ATK: 10,325 Grail HP: 13,882 Attribute: Earth Growth Curve: S Star Absorption: 195 Star Generation: 8% NP Charge ATK: 1.4% NP Charge DEF: 5% Death Rate: 26.90% Alignments: Neutral・Good Gender: Male Commands Cards: QQABB (Quick: 2 Hits. Arts: 1 Hit, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 3 Hits) Skills: - Feather Illusion C+ Chance to stun one enemy. Reduces NP strength.   - Sharpening A+ Increases own Buster and Quick performances for 3 turns. - Superhero Strength B Charges own NP gauge. Increases own NP strength. Noble Phantasm:  ???

Lauren aka Laurenzside, Protector of Universe, Cosmic Deity Rarity: R Caster Cost: 7 ATK: 1,128/7,215 HP: 1,236/8,600 Grail ATK: 8,657 Grail HP: 11,055 Attribute: Sky Growth Curve: S Star Absorption: 84 Star Generation: 11% NP Charge ATK: 1.80% NP Charge DEF: 5% Death Rate: 38.7% Alignments: Neutral・Good Gender: Female Commands Cards: QAAAB (Quick: 3 Hits, Arts: 2 Hits, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 3 Hits) Skills: - Cosmic Blessing A Grants one ally's invicibility for 1 turn. Charges their NP gauge. - Clairvoyance (Demi-God) Increases own Critical star drop rate. - Lunar Light B Recovers party's HP. Remove own Debuffs. Noble Phantasm: ???

Kassie aka Gloom Rarity: R Alter Ego Cost: 7 ATK: 1,177/7,113 HP: 1,650/9,421 Grail ATK: 9,818 Grail HP: 12,812 Attribute: Man Growth Curve: S Star Absorption: 100 Star Generation: 10% NP Charge ATK: 0.43% NP Charge DEF: 4% Death Rate: 36.4% Alignments: True・Neutral Gender: Female Commands Cards: QQAAB (Quick: 2 Hits, Arts: 1 Hit, Buster: 2 Hits, Extra: 4 Hits)  Skills: - Samantha Increases own Buster performances for 3 turns. Chances to inflict Charm on [Male] enemy. Cancel other skill's effects.  - Hannah Increases own Quick performances for 3 turns. Gains critical stars generation every turn for 3 turns. Cancel other skill's effects. - Vera Increases own Arts performances for 3 turns. Recover own NP every turn for 3 turns. Cancel other skill's effects.  Noble Phantasm: ???

Jay aka Kubz Scouts Rarity: R Assassin Cost: 7 ATK: 1,288/7,062 HP: 1,571/8,662 Grail ATK: 9,633 Grail HP: 11,990 Attribute: Man  Growth Curve: Reverse S Star Absorption: 102 Star Generation: 20.4% NP Charge ATK: 0.24% NP Charge DEF: 4.12% Death Rate: 28.7% Alignments: Chaotic・Good Gender: Male Commands Cards: QQQAB (Quick: 4 Hits, Arts: 2 Hits, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 3 Hits) Skills: - Planning B+ Increases own critical star generation rate for 3 turns. - Threaten C+ Chance to reduce enemy's NP by 1 Reduces ATK for 3 turns. - Presence Detection C Chances to removes their Evasion buffs. Grants self Evasion for 1 turn.

Ohm aka Ryan, Ohmwrecker, The Red Demon Right-Hand Rarity: R Saber Cost: 7 ATK: 1,232/8,012 HP: 1,388/8,063 Grail ATK: 10,455 Grail HP: 12,550 Attribute: Earth Growth Curve: S Star Absorption: 90 Star Generation: 10.5% NP Charge ATK: 1.33% NP Charge DEF: 3.12 % Death Rate: 30.2% Alignments: Neutral・Good Gender: Male Commands Cards: QAABB (Quick: 3 Hits, Arts: 3 Hits, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 4 Hits) Skills: - Battle Continuation A Grants self Guts status for 1 time, 5 turns. - Proof of Friendship C Chance to reduces one enemy's NP gauge by 1. Chance to inflicts Stun for 1 turn. - Teamwork C Increases party's Arts performance for 1 turn. Increases party's NP Strength for 1 turn. Noble Phantasm: ???

Cartoonz aka Luke, The Red Demon Rarity: SR Rider Cost: 12 ATK:  1,612/9,447 HP: 1,673/11,076 Grail ATK:  11,018 Grail HP: 12,667 Attribute: Earth Growth Curve: Semi S Star Absorption: 165 Star Generation: 10% NP Charge ATK: 1.18% NP Charge DEF: 2.77 % Death Rate: 30.2% Alignments: True・Neutral  Gender: Male Commands Cards: QAABB (Quick: 4 Hits, Arts: 1 Hits, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 6 Hits) Skills: - Pirate’s Honor B+ Increases own attack for 3 turns. Grants self Guts status for 1 time. (Revives with 1 HP.) Reduces own debuff resistance by 50% for 3 turns. [Demerit] - Voyager of the Storm A Increases party's NP damage for 1 turn. Increases party's attack for 1 turn. - Demon of the Sea EX Increases own Buster performances. Increases critical strength for 3 turns. Gains self-Invisibility for 1 attack. Reduces own defense [Demerit] Noble Phantasm: ???

Garrett aka Accused Wizard, Eternal Mage, King of Badger Rarity: R Caster Cost: 7 ATK: 1,312/7,556 HP: 1,752/8,272 Grail ATK: 10,126 Grail HP: 10,885 Attribute: Man Growth Curve: S Star Absorption: 48 Star Generation: 11.4% NP Charge ATK: 1.43% NP Charge DEF: 3% Death Rate: 36.2% Alignments: Chaotic・Good Gender: Male Commands Cards: QAAAB (Quick: 2 Hit, Arts: 3 Hit, Buster: 1 Hit, Extra: 5 Hits) Skills: - Jokester B+ Chance to reduce one enemy's NP gauge by 1. Charges own NP gauge. - Immortality (False) Gains self-Guts status for 1 time, 3 turns. - Spellcraft A+  Increases own Arts performance for 3 turns.  Noble Phantasm: ???

Okay, there you go. Some of the stats are from FGO’s servants lol and if it looks too OP for you fgo players, dont sweat it. The stats doesnt really matter in the story so lol.

Those are the characters that will appear on the first arc minus Nogla and Mini. Since i haven’t really decided to put Andrew and Jack, i won’t show their stats here but their class will be Lancer (or Caster, haven’t really decided it either) and Saber, respectively 

P.S: There will be ships, it won’t be the focus of the story if i use the heavy/more serious plot but there will be :P

Again, thank you for your attention and hopefully i can finish all this soon enough.

#rambles #fic update #my writing #cartoonz #laurenzside #garrett #vanoss #moo #ohmwrecker #gloomgames #kubz scouts #fgo au

[tartaricing]

It’s In Your Arms

Well whoop dee doo here’s a crackfic about a crackship about Agent 14/Male!Assistant with my OC’s involved, but first chapter only cuz of rules... Also in AO3 form and in FFNet form in entirety

Chapter 1: “There Was Paperwork?”

The Balla Bees came back from their holiday in Peach County to start their businesses again. Well, Ricardo and Ayla went to the town of Avalon where all men grilled at the same time and all the women walked their animals at the same time like clockwork. It was a creepy private property utopia and they were happy to be back in Los Santos. Darryl took his parents to Schmickeyland and the peach groves. After all the decadence and food, it was back to work.

Ayla was a short olive-skinned woman in a pink dress and white hoodie. After a half day at the meth lab, she drove down to her nightclub, called KK Omega. Brushing her bob back, she skittered into her office, seeing Gay Tony typing out a paper.

“Maganda hapon, Tony! Kumusta sa pasko nyo- Oh shit, sorry!” Ayla greeted Tony, giving a wave, but crumpling back, “Good afternoon, Tony. How was your Christmas?” She chuckled nervously.

“Oh don’t worry about it,” Tony gave a dismissive hand wave, “I’ve dealt with your language mix ups enough to answer. To answer, good afternoon and yes my Christmas was good. I’m assuming yours was good too?”

“Oh yes, it was great. Avalon is such a beautiful city but it can be too sterile,” Ayla replied, sitting in her chair and crunching a few numbers, “But hey, we gotta get back to work now!” 

“Yes!” Tony hollered in agreement, “Avalon’s fucking creepy though.” She started a promotional activity of playing music from a blimp, praying to god that the flying bikes don’t hit her.

Ricardo, also known as Rick to his loved ones, went back to oversee the Vanilla Unicorn. He stood at five eleven and was a lean tanned man of a few words. He also wore white Air Forces and a tan military jumpsuit with a red shirt underneath. After a few clicks on his computer, he rode his Scramjet to do a few shipments for Ron at Fort Zancudo.

“Hey there, Rick!” Ron popped in, wearing a red sweater far too worn for the holiday, “How was Christmas?”

“Good, got to see my family in Avalon. Ate their delicious Filipino cooking,” Rick answered, getting out of his Avenger.

“I don’t like Avalon. It’s too Stepford… ish.”

“Ah yes, you and me both.” Rick went to see his money back down at his money laundering business.

Darryl rode from his parents’ apartment in Little Seoul to his high rise apartment near Maze Bank tower. His red and white Toreador shone in the sun as he got up to get his laundry out. He emerged with a new three-piece suit. He took his Toreador into the ocean in his Kosatka, greeting Pavel.

“Hi kapitan! How was your Christmas?” Pavel dusted the control panels.

“Good,” Darryl answered, casually shooting a man on a flying bike that was heading towards Ayla with a missile, “Schmickeyland is nice. I hope you didn’t get lonely.”

“Don’t worry, I called my family,” Pavel answered, “Russia tried making their own Schmickeyland, but there were too many rats for it to even work out.”

“I hope that was enough.”

The Balla Bees then reunited in the Paleto Forest bunker. It was six in the afternoon. They exchanged stories of Avalon and what presents they got. Ayla talked about her Schmickeyland merch while Rick talked about a ham radio set and Darryl talked about how his parents still saw him as a poor college kid.

“Like I tell mom, I own my business in shipping, I don’t need you to come into Cluckin’ Bell and yell at my manager!” Darryl laughed.

“It’s like I tell mine, ‘Nanay, wag na ng ala ng pasok ko. Just be glad you’re in Avalon!”’” Rick exchanged his own tidbit. “I wouldn’t bring Ron to meet her though.”

“It’s true, she thought my Schmickey ears were too much. She’d get a heart attack if she met Gay Tony!” Ayla cackled, slapping her knee.They then got to work, stealing supplies. After a hectic chase from cops and people on flying bikes, they returned with almost a full bunker of supplies. They stood around, with Ayla waving at the R&D team, Rick discussing numbers with another engineer, and Darryl jotting stats on the board. After the supplies were fully in, they were going to call it a night.

Until their phones rang at the same time. All with Agent 14 at the screen.

“You answer!” Ayla gasped, “He scares me.”

“Can I call dibs?” Darryl asked.

“No, you don’t own the bunker so that makes no sense,” Rick was confused, looking at Darryl’s phone, “Look, I’ll answer on speaker. Stay quiet.” He turned the speaker on and answered the call. “We all got the supplies, what’s the big deal?” Ayla and Darryl held their breath. 

“Hey, I know you stole all those supplies and you’re all tired, but I forgot this one thing,” Agent 14 rang in.

“What one thing?” Rick raised his eyebrow in suspicion.

“If it’s the gun range, we cleaned that,” Ayla hazarded a guess.

“It’s not the gun range.”

“Is it the security?” Darryl tried his own guess.

“No.”

“Then what is it?” Rick was even more confused.

“It’s… The yearly paperwork. I forgot to get it. Is it anywhere in the bunker?” Agent 14 sighed, with Mrs. Rackman’s shouting in the background.

“Paperwork?” Ayla joined Rick in confusion, “I heard nothing about paperwork.”

“Oh shit, I know,” Darryl added in, “It’s in my CEO office at Maze Bank West. Should I get it?”

“No, we’ll all meet in the bunker and you can show me where in your CEO office that paperwork is. I’ll see you.” Agent 14 hung up. The Balla Bees looked at themselves and shrugged.

Agent 14 arrived in an unmarked vehicle. He greeted them all and then piled themselves in Darryl’s Toreador.

“How was your Christmas, Agent 14?” Ayla asked.

“Very good, now I gotta go run but I’m assuming the rest of you had great Christmases?” Agent 14 replied, sitting shotgun to Darryl.

“We went to Avalon, somewhere in Peach County,” Rick added.

“People live in Avalon?” Agent 14 raised his eyebrow, “That place is more expensive than Los Santos!”

“Rick bought his folks a home there,” Darryl explained. The car ride was filled with Ayla’s giggly rendition of Backstreet Boys. A few boosts down the highway later, they arrived at the Maze Bank West tower. They all buzzed themselves into the CEO office.

The Balla Bees then gave Agent 14 a tour of the office, from the TV, to the view, to the gun locker, the map of Los Santos, the living quarters, the heist office, and the filing room. But before they even got to the filing room, the assistant got up out of his chair and went to Darryl.

“Boss! Warstock wants to speak with you, they want you to do a promotion with them!” The assistant eagerly handed the phone to Darryl. Darryl then went to the heist room to speak, with the other two buzzing in. The assistant sat back down on his desk, typing away. Agent 14 then followed him, standing up in front of him. “May I help you, sir?” The assistant sat up, turning away from his computer.

“Well, answer me this,” Agent 14 crossed his arms, cocking his head towards the other man, “How’s some handsome man like you a secretary?”

The male assistant blushed heavily, giggling behind a raised hand, “I’m an executive assistant to the boss! And this is holiday weight!”

“Oh come on!” Agent 14 pointed at him, “How did someone so cute get into SecuroServ?”

“Stop it, I’m at work, the boss could see me any minute!” The assistant lifted a folder up to his face, slapping the IAA agent’s hand away with the other.

“Oh feisty aren’t you?” He pulled the folder off to see the other’s blushing face, “Just let me get a closer look at you… SecuroServ chose well. And so did Darryl here.” He leaned into the assistant, who was red as a tomato.

“...The fuck?” Darryl peeked his head out the door, with Rick and Ayla below.

“... I don’t know what to feel about this,” Rick whispered.

“Should we tell them?”

“Shhh!” Ayla shushed them, “They’re about to look.” They closed the door silently. 

“Do you want your yearly bunker paperwork?” The assistant sputtered, regaining his cool.

“Yes, that’s what I was here for,” Agent 14 answered.

“I know where they are, come with me,” The assistant got up and led the agent to the filing cabinets. He grabbed a box labeled ‘Bunker 2020’, lifted it, and put it in the agent’s hands. The Balla Bees reopened the door to look again.

“I didn’t know it was a box of paperwork!” Rick whispered.

“...Should we help them?” Ayla’s voice raised in concern.

“I think they got it, it’s only three boxes worth,” Darryl replied.

“But still-” Ayla replied. They then closed the door again.

“Wow, you’re pretty strong!” Agent 14 commented on how well the assistant was holding two boxes worth of bunker paperwork. 

“Well I work out a lot,” the assistant chuckled, “It’s so easy in Los Santos!”

“I know right!” Agent 14 replied, “It’s great to run in the sun!”

“I guess we have that in common!” They both chuckled to each other. The crew tiptoed out stone-faced down the stairs and to Darryl’s Toreador.

They all met at the car, with Darryl taking the last box and sending the assistant off. The crew and the agent sat again in the Toreador and shuttled back to the bunker. 

“It’s nice you have a great assistant, Darryl,” Agent 14 sat shotgun, face glowing in excitement.

“It is,” Darryl struggled to not laugh.

“Hindi ng kakaron ito. Sira ng ulo ng Agent 14?” Rick whispered to Ayla in the backseat.

“Hindi ng alam ko. Sira ng ulo ng assistant sa Darryl?” Ayla answered.

“Bakla na sila?” They shrugged their shoulders in response.

“Sounds like you had a good time there,” Darryl still struggled to not laugh.

“I did, very much. I even got his number.” Agent 14 added, “He sounds like a great running buddy.” He had a smile on his face. The crew all had blank expressions, and maintained them going into the bunker. And loading the boxes of paper work in the unmarked vehicle. And seeing him drive off.

Upon closing the bunker, the trio broke out into laughter. 

“This is a total minfuck!” Darryl started, “It’s trippy to see my assistant get up, but even trippier to see Agent 14 hit on him!”

“I know!” Ayla guffawed even harder, “Seeing a really blissful Agent 14 just… makes me astrally project!”

“My assistant being a blushing mess is just so weird, man!”

“It’s not that they’re being gay, but it’s like… This is how our businesses are interacting, like really what the fuck? It’s so awkward I don’t know what to say. Like flirting? In our CEO office?” Rick really lost it.

“It’s more likely than we think!” Darryl added. They all absolutely lost it, with all the bunker staff looking at them like they’re deranged.

They called it a night, with Rick and Ayla staying at Fort Zancudo and Darryl staying at his apartment. 

Another sun rose up, as the floating rock has yet to stop spinning and revolving. All three departed to take care of their businesses. Ayla took care of her meth lab. Darryl gathered vehicles. Rick stole more supplies for his bunker. Luckily for him, it was an easy matter to tackle individually. Sitting on the hood of his blue weaponized Tampa, he soaked in the sun. His jacket was tied on his waist, revealing his tanned skin. He was parked on the end of Chumash pier, fishing rod in tow. 

Fish weren’t in much of a mood to bite today. Or at this season.

Rick’s sunglasses reflected off the sun perfectly, reminding him that sometimes all that privilege is too much sometimes. And that some things stay the same no matter what, like his predilection towards fishing alone or his family’s desire to work or Ayla’s love and optimism. Sometimes he wondered what it’d be like to go perfectly legal and only handle the Vanilla Unicorn. He then felt a tug on his fishing rod, and then another, and another in increasing intensity. He instinctively reeled in response. 

On the hook was a crab and an off-white brick. He incredulously looked at the brick as he put the crab in his bucket. It was a large crab that dwarfed the two small mackerels in it. The brick was wrapped in plastic with packing tape on it. It felt packed and powdery as he patted it. White dust came out of it, feeling a brief high that made him clutch his bucket close. 

Cocaine.

He dropped the brick in the bucket and froze. There was a sudden gust of wind that nudged him back on his Tampa. Someone was running drugs. Putting the bucket between his thighs, he pulled out his sniper rifle, zooming in at the sky before him. And he saw it.

A young woman on a MKII Oppressor shouting swears and flipping him off. This meant trouble and it had to be done fast. Rick zoomed in on her and gave a few shots. He landed a headshot on her and the flying bike fell into the water. He put the bucket back down and kept zooming in with the scope. No flying vehicles and no angry people. No yachts, submarines, or dinghies. No Strombergs or Toreadors. All quiet out in the ocean. He focused his sights on the immediate beach. Just normal people doing normal things.

But wait.

He stopped to see two people running together. A white man and a Latino man were a little close for comfort, but they were just running along the coast.

Agent 14 and the assistant managed to meet up and have a beach run.

“For someone who took a break for the holidays, you’re not doing too bad!” Agent 14 called over to the assistant, who was just next to him. They were both in shirts and leggings. 

“I could say the same to you!” The assistant called back, “The sand’s a bitch though.”

“You get used to it.”

“I know, I know,” The assistant gave a dismissive hand wave, “I’ve done enough ocean swims already.” 

“How far have we gone already?” Agent 14 wondered aloud.

“Ten miles?” The assistant looked down at his watch. Agent 14 leaned into him, looking at his watch.

“Mine says the same thing,” Agent 14 looked at his watch, “Well what do you know, we have matching watches!”

“Watch buddies!” The assistant gave a high five. Agent 14 leapt back, flustered. “What?”

“Matt, this is the first time you actually touched me!” Agent 14 stammered. They both stopped.

“C’mon, Chris... Is the running getting to you?” Matt Torres, the assistant gave a little grip on the other’s hand.

“No… Matt, I…” Agent 14, aka Chris Chase, “Dammit.” He started to lose his cool.

Rick kept zooming in, intrigued at the scene of his two businesses interacting. He used his drone to take a photo. He sent the photo to the rest of the crew. 

Chris sat in his IAA cubicle, just still steaming from the high five. He held his head in his hands, still blushing. The document on his computer still remains blank. 

“Are you okay there?” Mrs. Rackman asked him, “You’ve been staring at the computer for FIVE minutes.”

“Yeah, I am…” Agent 14 sighed, “Just a hard run.”

“Yeah, this run is gonna be harder if you don’t stop slackin’.” He started to type languidly. He could still feel his heart thumping in his chest.

Matt was at the CEO office processing some vehicle cargo. His legs still felt weak from the run. He was on the phone with another client, where he let out a huff every few words. “I swear, a contract is a contract… Agh. I mean I don’t care if there’s something tomorrow, the vehicle needs to be here!”

The client hung up. Matt reclined in his chair. Darryl asks what’s going on.

“I had a long run.” Matt sighed, “It’s the first time I ran in a while.” Darryl nodded his head and went on his way. 

The Balla Bees had a group call later on today. 

“The fuck was that picture, Rick?” Darryl asked.

“That’s what I found today at Chumash,” Rick replied.

“Ooooh, something’s brewing!” Ayla squealed.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Rick replied, “I wonder what this means for our business.”

“Maybe it’s not on a professional level,” Ayla added.

“Well that’s gonna get hairy in terms of arms dealing if this keeps going,” Darryl said, “Or easier, depends.”

“Well it’s cute regardless,” Ayla muttered dreamily.

“Ayla!” Darryl and Rick yelled. 

The next few days were rough. The crew ran a tight ship on their businesses with a full city. There were flying bikes everywhere and crazy people riding them. Agent 14 and the assistant couldn’t meet at all, leaving them both frustrated. Actually, everyone was frustrated. No one can speak to each other in person and all communication was text or call. 

The crew had a goal to have supplies filled to the brim, and they were fulfilling that many times over. They were driving and flying like mad. And no one was sleeping and living off of P’s and Q’s and Sprunk. However, there was a window of opportunity when the crew decided to do a late night meth sale. 

Agent 14 went to the Maze Bank CEO tower in an unmarked vehicle. He buzzed himself in, bringing a bottle of wine. The assistant sat in his chair, eyes sunken and visibly tired. However, his eyes lit up at the sight of the IAA agent.

“Hey babe,” Agent 14 greeted him, reaching out for a hug, “I came as fast as possible when you texted me.”

“Don’t call me that,” The assistant softly chuckled, hugging him back, “But goddammit I need that wine.”

And so they popped off the cork and started with a few glasses of wine. 

“So you’re telling me that you got hit by a branch when you were a kid?” Matt took a sip of wine.

“Yup, a whole branch flew at me,” Chris did his sip, “Sometimes when I close my eyes I can still feel that thing.” They crept closer to each other on the couch. They both laughed.

“And you found multiple bricks of cocaine as a kid in Mexico because you wanted to make a fort?” Chris shot back.

“Yeah my mom was so mad, she hit me and my brothers with her chancla. But let me tell you, it’s a damn fine fort!” Matt gave a flick of his wrist towards the window showing city lights. They laughed again, hands creeping towards each other. They sat in silence for a while. The term dating wasn’t something they’d use but it felt like it. Between shifts at work, they were workout buddies, sent greeting texts, gave hugs and kisses, and shared some pretty close secrets. They also ate out together when they could. Operative word, could. 

For an IAA agent, Chris could still feel the butterflies with Matt. So many things he could fight through, but this? This was scary.

Matt always felt so gooey with Chris. He’d always be a blushing and babbling mess of some sort, but he was able to get a handle on it. He didn’t expect to feel something like this from work.

But work always got in the way for both of them. And they were dedicated men to their jobs.

They started to hold hands, with Matt blushing. They started to face each other, eyes locked on each other. Chris’s icy blue to Matt’s warm brown. They couldn’t help but smile at each other. Chris crossed his arms, with his hands playing with the sleeve of his jacket. He started blushing too, grabbing the nape of Matt’s neck and drawing him in for a kiss. It wasn’t their first kiss but it felt like it. Their lips brushed against each other before they started using tongue. Matt hugged Chris in. It was warm and comforting, hugging and kissing like this. Chris pulled the other’s waist in. 

It was nice, to not be professionals and just be, well, a couple.

They separated after a few minutes, with both of them panting. It was a miracle their hands weren’t running over each other’s bodies. They still stayed close.

“Hey, Chris, I…” Matt finally spoke.

“You, what…?” Chris replied.

“I… I…”

“You, you what? Wh-what is it, Matt?”

“I… uh…” The assistant’s eyes darted across the room.

“Spit it out, Matt, I’m here!” Agent 14’s voice had a hint of annoyance, “It’s okay, just say it.”

“Shit… nevermind,” Matt shook his head.

“Okay, mind if I say something?” Chris asked.

“Sure, I won’t judge.”

“Matt, I…” His voice trailed off, “Matt… Matthew… Oh goddammit…”

“Chris, take your time.”

“I… Fuck.” They broke their embrace, only trying to spit words out.

“It’s okay.”

“I… I lo-, oh fuck!” Agent 14 facepalmed, “I can’t do this.” He held his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” Matt whispered.

“It’s not your fault, Matt. It’s no one’s fault.”

“I’m sorry for being weak,” Matt choked back tears.

“No, no…” Chris pulled Matt into his arms, “It’s the nature of our jobs. We can’t be too attached. I’m a protected government agent and you’re an executive assistant for a private security company. We both work for the same three degenerates here in Los Santos.”

“I’m sorry, when my brother came out of the closet, my mom gave him hell. I can’t do this either. I’ve so much at stake after I left stock trading,” Matt began to cry.

“I’m so sorry, my folks don’t care so that… hurts me,” Chris wiped his tears and leaned in for a kiss. But it felt hypocritical so he let go of the other man. 

Agent 14 and the assistant sat on opposite ends of the couch. The assistant was bawling and grabbing tissues. Agent 14 crossed his arms and sat stewing in his anger and disappointment. The crying hurt too much so the agent left, leaving with a soft pat on the assistant’s shoulder.

The assistant stayed the night in the tower.

The next morning the Balla Bees had begun their final full business shift. They started with a vehicle sale from the warehouse. They buzzed themselves into the CEO tower to start the sale. All three shuffled forward to see the assistant’s head on his arms folded on the desk. Darryl and Rick silently went forward while Ayla tapped the assistant’s shoulder.

“Ay nako! Are you okay? What happened?” Ayla gasped as the disarrayed assistant.

“I’m fine boss, just a shitty night.” The assistant brushed his hair back and started to type.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, go make some money, bosses.” He quietly sat up and typed stuff in. The crew shrugged their shoulders and sold an entire warehouse of vehicles. The assistant morosely gave orders and limply gave praise as they did it.

“At least you fulfilled something, unlike me to someone I’ve known…” The assistant’s final remark sent shivers down their spine.

It didn’t feel right to them, but what could they do?

The crew then started selling enough arms to fill their bunker. Agent 14 buzzed in their phones.

“Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna get heartbreaking. Merryweather got wind of these sales, so expect them to show up and gun you down. The important thing is the weapons get to the drops." They swore they heard a sniffle follow that message.

While they have been rapid in delivery, Ayla got cornered and the other two had to rescue her, costing them time.

“Hurry it up… so I can have alcohol in my system,” Agent 14 quipped rather slowly.

“He sounds so sad…” Ayla pouted.

“We can worry about that later,” Rick set her right, “We need to drop one more cargo.”

“You know this is kinda depressing,” Darryl added, “I never heard either of them so sad before.” After a few run-ins with Merryweather, they finished the cargo.

“Looks like you gave out... to the right people too... I don’t know if they use them right, but knowing them I hope they keep their promises. Unlike someone I know,” Agent 14 weakly congratulated them. A pop of a beer bottle and chugging sounds followed. The entire crew grimaced at the last remark. 

“Jesus I’m not sure if I wanna know what happened between them,” Rick gasped. They nodded in agreement. Ayla ordered some fruit baskets to both Agent 14 and the assistant, unmarked at Darryl’s advice.

Translations (from Tagalog and Spanish): Maganda hapon, Tony! Kumusta sa pasko nyo = Good Afternoon, Tony! How was your Christmas? Nanay, wag na ng ala ng pasok ko = Mom, don’t worry about my job Hindi ng kakaron ito. Sira ng ulo ng Agent 14? = I don’t understand. Is Agent 14 crazy? Hindi ng alam ko. Sira ng ulo ng assistant sa Darryl? = I don’t know. Is Darryl’s assistant crazy? Bakla na sila? = Are they gay? Chancla = Sandal Ay nako = My goodness!

#gtao #gta online #gta v #agent 14 #agent 14 x male!assistant #fanfiction #fanfic #my art