osddid-i-do-that

[osddid-i-do-that]

My therapist recommended doing an outpatient intensive therapy thing but she totally framed it like a cool little hangout of other chronically ill plural people and a chance to make friends but also with a side catharsis.

Idk man I’m like kinda sold on it? 🤷

#our roommate has been super ableist towards us #on top of refusing to help do anything about the health hazards in the house #despite it being THEIR FAMILY that owns the fucking place #no one listens to me #including roommate #who is now saying it’s our fault we’re sick #anyways yeah #friends who care would be nice #actually did #actually dissociative #osddid #sysblr #dissociative identity disorder #did system #actually osdd #sbc system tag: kash ❤️‍🔥 #sbc system tag: pyxis 🔮

[osddid-i-do-that]

Hey if I don't talk to you or respond it's not cause I hate you I'm just depressed and can only respond to a certain amount of people a day and those people are random

[osddid-i-do-that]

#one of them at least

[osddid-i-do-that]

When you gotta explain that you’re not playing devil’s advocate, you really just have several totally different opinions arguing in your head :c

#that OSDDID feel when … #actually did #actually dissociative #osddid #sysblr #dissociative identity disorder #did system #actually osdd #sbc system tag: ciel 🌈

[osddid-i-do-that]

you ever get surprised by your own recurring issues. like come on man. I thought we were past this.

[osddid-i-do-that]

I’m aware of our system and have been to some degree for a while, but I’ve never spoken to people as like, myself and not under the guise of “what are you talking about OF COURSE I’m the same person as the host!”

So when it was time for therapy yesterday and our gatekeeper didn’t swap in as planned and it was clear I was going to have to do our therapy session, I was so nervous and shaking that I dropped a glass of juice all over the desk/computer/the cat right as I was about to sign in 🤦

I guess all that to say that even though some of us seem like we’ve got this and we’ve known about the system for a while, we can be just as out of our depth as the main ANPs/Hosts who are just finding out about this now. Complex dissociative disorders can be paradoxically lonely but know that you’re probably not the only person in your system who feels like you have no idea what’s going on.

#sbc system tag: kash ❤️‍🔥 #actually did #actually dissociative #osddid #sysblr #dissociative identity disorder #did system #actually osdd

[osddid-i-do-that]

Any time it’s been quiet in my brain for more than 5 minutes:

I’m a faker and I’ve tricked everyone into thinking I have people in my head but this isn’t real and oh my gawd I’ve been lying to my therapist —!!!

#actually did #actually dissociative #osddid #sysblr #dissociative identity disorder #did system #actually osdd #sbc system tag: pyxis 🔮

[osddid-i-do-that]

#maybe #comic #a mood

[osddid-i-do-that]

Neil Banged out his tunes today, on a train you have the comfort and relaxation to bang out your own tunes

[osddid-i-do-that]

#sbc system tag: ender ❌

[osddid-i-do-that]

I think for a while I thought, if I REALLY had DID, I would be so much better at … everything, right?

I’d handle conflict perfectly and resolve conflict and never lose any friends.

I’d handle emergencies perfectly. I’d never freeze up.

I’d always do the hard self-care things when life got dire.

I’d never have a panic attack during an exam.

I’d never shut down because someone yelled.

I’d always make the right choice, do the right thing, make everyone happy, take care of myself.

It took until now to realize that you don’t end up with the alters who flawlessly handled every single possible situation.

You end up with the alters who successfully kept you alive.

Please … Thank them for that.

#actually did #actually dissociative #osddid #sysblr #dissociative identity disorder #did system #actually osdd #sbc system tag: pyxis 🔮

[osddid-i-do-that]

Normalize parts being so different that they don’t always get along.

I think we all know tons of system experiences such as being introject/fictive heavy, or having a well-made innerworld, or have active inner-conversations..

But let's normalize not having introject dominant alters in a system,

Normalize not having innerworlds stereotypically,

Normalize having silent periods despite being plural,

Normalize change of hosts, or others who interacts outside with the world,

Normalize change of roles, that can happen for reasons,

Normalize having parts that doesn't front or contribute much,

Normalize not fitting to any roles that are mainly depicted (host, etc),

Normalize smaller headmate count of a system,

Normalize experiencing difficulties communicating between parts, some are not naturally having this aspect perfect right off the bat and need to practice a lot,

Normalize having difficult alters, they're not a burden and needs lots of care and patience,

Normalize having ups and downs as in feeling blurry or doing a bit worser with internal communication that fluctuates throughout the days,

Normalize not knowing who you are when you wake up,

And lastly, normalize your own system experiences because many always asks for assurance or fear of faking (even if it is helpful once in a while), even if learning to accept them without doubt can be something difficult to achieve, everything you experience is still as real even if you think it doesn't fit the image of what a system should be like,

We should normalize about anything else that is not usually potrayed or talked about.

What else needs to be normalized more? Let's make the list longer!

- j

#honestly the moment we accepted that #we started to see the things #the others brought to the table #I (Ciel) didn’t used to get along with Kash #we still don’t LOVE each other #but we see each others strengths #and we respect that #and the more I’ve trusted Kash to front #the more I’ve seen I can trust her #and I don’t always need to block her from fronting #sbc system tag: ciel 🌈 #sbc system tag: kash ❤️‍🔥

[osddid-i-do-that]

Shoutout to all the hosts who thought arguing with the guys in your head was a normal way of “thinking about things” 😭

#actually did #actually dissociative #osddid #sysblr #dissociative identity disorder #did system #sbc system tag: pyxis 🔮 #sbc system tag: kash ❤️‍🔥 #I didn’t understand how anyone could easily make decisions #don’t you need the jury in your head to all agree???

[osddid-i-do-that]

It’s so hard trying to explain to people that I can be feeling a dozen conflicting things at once. Multiple completely unique views and opinions and reactions to things that are happening. That I can think a situation is a terrible idea AND be excited for it. That I can be angry about something and also not care. That you can see glimpses of both emotions or more and it doesn’t mean I’m lying to you.

That the reason I “don’t tell you anything” is because you always ask, “well, which is it?”

#actually did #actually dissociative #osddid #sysblr #dissociative identity disorder #did system #sbc system tag: pyxis 🔮 #actually osdd

[osddid-i-do-that]

Alright. I’m curious …

Choose your option and if you can, explain a bit in the notes what your understanding is/why you chose a certain option.

I’ll explain why I’m asking this once the poll is over. I don’t wanna affect results.

FULLY understand == someone explains to you what their symptoms are like, and you feel like you have a good understanding of why the person is behaving/doing/not doing/reacting the way they are. Basically: do you think you “get it”.

* Mentally ill folks without physical chronic illness: I am genuinely curious how your experience informs your worldview!

PLEASE REBLOG FOR LARGER SAMPLE SIZE!!!! ILY!!! 🤟💖

#poll #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #chronically ill #spoonie #disability #ehlers danlos #pots syndrome #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #MCAS #fibromyalgia #rare disease #endometriosis #arthritis #lupus #autoimmune #chronic lyme #chronic migraine #it’s not limited to these #it’s any condition that persistently affects your Physical wellbeing

[osddid-i-do-that]

you deserve someone who’s good for your mental health and who never stops trying

[osddid-i-do-that]

It’s really neat how you can be in treatment or have proof that you’re dealing with OSDDID and STILL get absolutely clobbered with denial when you least expect it —

I must have made up these guys in my head

Maybe I’m doing this on purpose …

My childhood wasn’t THAT bad … right?

I probably imagined [really awful thing]

Lots of people argue with the multiple “opinions” in their head that have very distinct personalities … that has to be a normal thing …

I’m just really forgetful

Memory is super fallible so I can’t even believe myself

Do I just want to be special …?

If I really had this, they would have caught it sooner

This can’t be real …

#not saying you HAVE to be in treatment to deal with denial #just saying #EVEN IF professionals acknowledge your OSDDID #you can STILL deal with really awful denial #denial #actually did #actually dissociative #osddid #sysblr #dissociative identity disorder #did system #actually osdd #sbc system tag: pyxis 🔮