Hazbin hotel songs rated by whether or not they happened diegetically
Always chasing rainbows
While this is background music, it does not strain credibility to think that this song exists and has been sung before by Charlie in the hazbin universe.
5/10 not diegetic but not entirely metaphorical
Inside of every demon is a rainbow
The singing for sure happened. Some of the visuals strain credibility for what could have happened in a news room.
7/10
Inside of every demon is a lost cause
This literally happened.
10/10
Happy day in hell
Charlie is for real just like that.
10/10
Hell is forever
It's possible that Charlie did just start singing to Adam, and if that part is diegetic than Adam's lyrics are too. The visuals do get pretty metaphorical, however.
6/10
Stayed gone
Vox spent 7 years writing a disstrack for alastor, only for alastor to come up with a cutting rebuttal in all of 2 minutes. They are iconic. The metaphorical parts of the visuals happen in clearly marked metaphorical spaces.
8/10
It starts with sorry
I'm at a point where I'm assuming any singing done by Charlie is literal. The background strays from the world of the show, but the characters never do.
9/10
Respectless
For the songs that we know for a fact to have happened to have happened, one of the givens of the world is that there is musical magic in hell. With this in mind, there is no reason why this song couldn't have happened.
10/10
Whatever it takes
They are having a duet from miles away. No matter what magic is in play, I just don't buy that that is a thing they can do.
3/10
Poison
The only way this song could be diegetic is if Valentino spent all night filming an erotic music video, and the idea the song didn't come from angel diminishes it's impact.
2/10
Loser, baby
An outside observer comments on the song
7/10
Hells greatest dad
The singing happened. Absolutely none of the visuals did.
4/10
More than anything
Charlie takes after her father, who will also appearantly just start singing. Where the visuals differ from reality, it is flashback, not a metaphor. The singing is still happening in physical space, the audience just doesn't get to see it.
9.5/10
Welcome to heaven
This happened, and it's interesting because it implies that heaven might have the same song magic. But at the same time, it almost feels like a rehersed routine.
10/10
You didn't know
What the hell. Heaven has song magic too. That might as well be true.
10/10
Out for love
It adds meaning to say that this happened. Carmine is dancer. The rhythm is part of her characterization.
10/10
Ready for this
We are explicitly told that this happens several times.
11/10
More than anything 2.0
As a couple, this is just how they have important conversations.
10/10
The show must go on
Ok so if the spatial distance broke my suspension of disbelief in whatever it takes, and the timespan the song takes place over broke it in poison, there is no way this song can get a pass. It takes place over at least several days, between characters that are miles apart, and it happens out of chronological order. This did not fuckin' happen. Like at all.
-1000000000/10
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slow dancing with ike
turning up to luca’s 12 minutes stream early in the game when you can dance with your wife got me in the mood to listen to some romantic oldies while writing my next request but then blue moon by dean martin came up, and i made the connection that ike is blue, and that he sings, and that you can dance with your wife and agh argh aggh just take the fluffy warmup
update from the day after i wrote that author’s note: just finished the 12 minutes stream. no spoilers but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AUAUGH AUGH GGGHAHHH AAAAGGAAAH GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH [distant minecraft injury noise]
anyways check this out while you read i promise it’s worth it
tags: fluff, just straight unadulterated fluff, yeah okay i finally used älskling are you happy now, gender neutral reader
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Hey. Hug me?”
Ike wraps himself around your body, and you sink into his embrace. As gentle as the novelist is, when he holds you it’s always just enough that you feel sensitive but secure, like a treasured plushie.
You aren’t sure exactly what got you in a clingy mood today. You both spent the day on errands by yourselves, and by the time Ike got home after you, you were both too pooped to cook, so you called a delivery pizza and called it a day.
Maybe the candles had done it? Earlier that afternoon, you met up with a friend and he dumped some unused votives on you as thanks for a favor. When you got home, you figured you’d light them and try out the scent. Sure enough, your home was filled with an aroma that smelled something divine, and when the pizza arrived, neither of you bothered to flick the overhead light on and instead dined in the romantic candlelight with a decidedly unromantic dinner.
Doesn’t matter now. Your appetite was satisfied, and with Ike around your grasp, you were at peace. What a beautiful night, and what a beautiful man. He’s got to be an angel on Earth, there’s no way there’s someone this perfectly kind, perfectly witty, perfectly handsome just shows up naturally. And for you, no less, what a gift it is to be held by Ike!
You lift your head off his shoulder to aim for his lips, and when he meets your kiss you’re certain, this is your heaven.
The space in the crook of his neck is the perfect resting place for your head, and you lean back into him as you sway from one foot to another. A hand trails down his arm to meet his fingers and rises with his palm in yours, and just like that you’ve got him in a position perfect for slow dancing. In fact, he’s picked up what you’re trying to do already, and goes along with your lead.
“This is what we’re doing now?” Ike asks the question innocently, like he doesn’t know the answer.
“If you’d have me.”
“I’m not much of a dancer.”
“Me neither.” With the next step, you circle around your living room by the candlelight and sweet scent in the air. “I don’t really care for the complex styles of dancing with a partner. I just like doing it.”
“Well, I can’t complain about that.” Ike wasn’t lying about his inexperience. His first steps are unconfident, but he follows your initiative relatively well, and soon enough you move as one, simple but in sync.
The steps are slow, and when the circle is complete Ike lets go of one hand. You unravel yourself in a flourish, and before a moment passes you’re back in his grasp. The light tailwind brushes a lock of his hair to the side, and his seaglass eyes crinkle in quiet delight. “This is nice.”
“I’m surprised it took me this long to goad you into it,” you say. “I wish I played some music before we started, though. I don’t wanna leave, but dancing in silence is tough.”
“Let me remember something.”
Ike’s eyes close, and he squeezes your hand as if a silent plea to keep him safe, to never let him go. You keep a predictable rhythm and hold him closer. You’re leading, after all, and it wouldn’t do if you lost track of him when he trusts you to keep him steady.
When he returns to you there’s a faraway look in his seaglass, the type of foggy clarity that only comes to him when he has a song in mind. “Blue moon, you saw me standing alone with a dream in my heart, without a love of my own…”
You dance, and Ike sings. His voice meshes well with the rhythm you lead him in. The candlelight casts shadows upon his features as you place your lips along his cheek down his neck.
“Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for-” You don’t miss how his breath catches when your kiss falls right under his earlobe. “You heard me saying a prayer for someone I really could care for.”
The song pauses as you toy with his sensitive ears. You look up at him with a mix of pouting and pleading.
“Darling, if you want me to sing, then don’t tease me. That comes later.”
“Party pooper,” you joke.
But you obey, and weave your arms around his neck in a new embrace, more intimate than the last. Your head rests against his collar, and you catch a hint of his cologne. Coffee and traces of fruit follow you as you feel his heartbeat.
The song continues. “And then there suddenly appeared before me, the only one my arms will hold.”
Ike’s hands reposition. One curls around your waist to keep you stable, while the other cards through your hair. “I heard somebody whisper, ‘please adore me,’ and when I looked, the moon had turned to gold.”
The hand on your head tilts you to meet Ike’s eyes, glistening with tenderness through the green and blue. His gaze goes straight through your heart and into your core, until his long lashes flutter closed and his lips are against yours.
Ike is soft. He always has been, and there’s so much strength in being so soft. His mouth fits against yours perfectly, and every little movement enchants you more and more.
The hand on your waist pulls you closer, tighter, and travels up the small of your back along your spine to your shoulder while keeping your head in place even as you shift to get closer to him. You’re never close enough. But you still have him by the neck, and your nails glide along the nape of his neck as you cling to him. Just like that, his sweet kiss is even more magnetic.
Your eyes are slow to open once you part, but when they regain their vision Ike is the handsomest man in the world, and everything apart from him blurs away.
“Please don’t let me go,” you whisper. “Please don’t stop. I need you.”
“Älskling,” Ike purrs, and you can’t even pretend to resist anymore. You return another kiss like a second life. You pulse in pure adoration when you meet the other side of his mouth, so warm and inviting. Ike intoxicates you until every last thought is how he plays with your hair, how gorgeous his little noises are, how good it all feels.
You’ve never felt more loved.
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The creation of the universe
Sequestered
Among softest silhouettes shaped in
Unbridled imagination,
Behind
The comfort of
C l o s e d e y e s,
Where, liquefied,
The phantasmagoria play.
Shape-shifting
Figments of adoration, created to dance
Upon the
Stage, burgundy red;
Undulating
To the pulses
Of creation's catalyst,
Till, reached,
A cataclysmic beat;
Ever intensifying, seeking
The primordial breath;
That first sigh of thermal air,
Expelled as an answer to the beckoning
Heavens.
Fingers stretch out indefinitely,
Shaping silken ribbon galaxies,
Flowing, as of yet,
Covertly; unseen,
Yet
Shimmering, like silver rivulets,
At the deepest thuds
Of the core-drum,
Light's herald.
Ascension.
Shadow dancers, with
Twinkling toes, and tantalising fingers,
Lift
And carry,
Till weightless
Levitation; a flight, beyond
The universe's ever-expanding veil,
Where the soul abolishes all tangibility,
Propelled paroxysmically
As rhythm conjoins
With hymn.
A song
Like a thousand voices
Deeply reverberating; awaiting
That one crystalline tone to
Release the all-time's first incantation
Into
Reignition.
The light.
The light,
A fervorous flame
Surging sweltering supernova,
Unleashed from within, and within is now
At the heart of a whole
New world.
Time halts
At the beat of the core-drum, crescendo,
As the primordial breath
Escapes the desperate lungs
As an aria, shaking
Reality's
Foundation.
Eyes open.
Uncountable stars
Flash forward, illuminating
What once was little more
Than the void of space; shadows
And shadow play.
Now, it is
All.
In wanton wonder. In sanctified
Song, upon the altar of creation.
Collapsed, the cynosure of sparkles,
Flows over the sleek marble,
Holy in afterglow.
Reborn, the sole deity,
Worshiped.
Loved.
---
28-8-2023, M.A. Tempels ©
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Which side are you on?
Father of Music with his army of Stepswitchers, or the Music Train Conductor with his fellow dancers ft. Buff Paddler?
Recently, TwoSetViolin dropped a banger about 5 music composers and it inspired me to draw this!
The person on the left is Bach with his Stepswitchers! Bach is a bit different than the one that appears in Rhythm Heaven since I referenced him from the historical Bach.
The person on the right is The Conductor (Dvorak) with the space & cosmic dancers! He is also Cosmic girl's father!
I can't say that he is my OC since he is heavily inspired by a character from Classicaloid named Dvorak (human form), his abilities are also similar enough. It's more of a crossover-
The style of the artwork is also inspired by Classicaloid's album covers. I also provide the colored version as well, but I prefer the monochrome version since it looks more pleasing imo.
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