#sorry just imagine me flexing on all the haters | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

st0rmyskies · 9 months

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Renault Avantime

Acura Legend

Nissan Skyline

Renault Wind

Ford Ranger Wildtrack

Toyota FourRunner

Renault Twizy

Eagle Malon TSi

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow

Mitsubishi L200 Warriors

Ducati Diavel Dark

Range Roolie

This anon knows that I am secretly a Car Guy™.

Renault Avantime

Look at this thing. Look at this European-ass Ford Flex wannabe bullshit. It gets some points for being a coupe, somehow - Time would rather not drive around with a back door that someone could pop into at will - but even a sick set of tints isn't going to hide his embarrassment at this beaky profile. There's a nose joke in there somewhere. 3/10.

Acura Legend

Impeccable. Looks like someone's first car so that they can haul ass back and forth to college several times a year. Ravio and Legend rip out the back seats to make room for as much product as this shitty 2.5L can manage. The back is also positively PLASTERED in the most amazing sarcastic bumper stickers you can imagine (Bestie Please Let Me Merge, I Fucked Bigfoot, etc.). 10/10

Nissan Skyline

Some part of me hurts to think that Sky would be a Nissan driver, but that's my own personal bias. Does look like something he would take out for weekend track days or the odd drag strip competition and wipe the floor with others. When Groose pulls up he parks entirely too close and gets Sky's rare scowl for even joking about having scratched the paint. 8/10

Renault Wind

Look at this fuckin thing. Wind hates it. Daddy bought it for him as a "Sorry I missed your 16th birthday!" gift. The only saving grace is that it's not the powder blue version; Wind would have turned those keys right over to Aryll SO FAST. It's hardly big enough for him to bring a surfboard to the beach in. The convertible is a nice touch for sunset beach drives though. 5/10.

Ford Ranger Wildtrak

Can you imagine??? Can you imagine?????? Wild wakes up one morning after a night of hard partying to suddenly remember, "I have a car." He digs through his old belongings to produce a nondescript keychain - which he promptly switches out for a big sparkly white puffball - and wanders off into the world to find where he parked THIS truck of Champion's. The ENERGY of seeing tiny Wild with his long hair blowing out the side window as he rolls up in THIS THING is hysterical to me. He will literally never be able to double-park it and just pull it up over the sidewalk to leave it in Time's yard. 11/10.

Toyota FourRunner

If one person - if ONE PERSON - makes a short joke Four is gonna flip the fuck out. He'll need the version with side rails so he can actually get into the damn thing, probably, and the seat adjuster is aftermarket so that he can bring the driver's seat up high enough to see over the steering wheel. Bonus points, though, that he can drive right over all the haters. However, I would argue that this isn't the best city car for someone like Four. Yes it can haul lots of junk in the back for his work needs, but a pickup truck - and something older that he can service himself - would suit him a bit better. 7/10

Renault Twizy

Sure, let's put the anxious kid on the highway between two 18-wheelers in this little Fisher Price death trap. His shoulders wouldn't fit inside this thing, let alone his ass. 0/10

Eagle Malon TSi

Well if this isn't a divorcee car then I don't know what is. Does get some points since it looks like it would run badly forever, which is the solid basis of any good farmer's errand car. I do like to think, though, that Malon would have a bit more self respect than this. 1/10.

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow

I had to include the photo with the text because that's so something Shadow would make himself. Four loudly and vehemently disagrees; he's spent more time on his back beneath that engine bay fixing electrical issues nearly as quickly as Shadow can cause them. Perhaps the aftermarket tablet screen he had installed in the center console at some dubious backyard mechanic was a bad idea. Also I bet that engine is so fucking loud and puts out NO power. 7/10

Mitsubishi L200 Warriors

What the hell and fuck is this? What are all the antennae for, so he can be tuned in to the latest Sephora sale?? And the extra lighting, is that for his Instagram photoshoots??? Ew, do you think Wars is an Instagram influencer???? -0.5/10

Ducati Diavel Dark

Oh, this is canon. 15/10

Range Roolie

I just had a visceral reaction picturing our own Doctor Hyrule, MD, rolling around town in this thing hopelessly lost. He somehow keeps missing all the turns on his GPS. The OnStar dispatcher eventually gets to know him by name. They just talk while he's on his way to work in the morning. 10/10

#stormy asks #hsh #townhouse au #i love that you gave a Renault for all three of the relatives #the points are all entirely arbitrary #hello i love this ask

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papirouge · 11 months

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Omg why is that coquette girl STILL pressed about you lmao she’s fighting now other og coquette girls over involving black girls being too “woke” in the aesthetic. Wait until she finds non white girls involved in the cottagecore scene.

She has such an aggressive spirit to her behavior, very masculine

I lowkey think she's singling me out bc I'm one of the few who've managed to properly read her to filth. Her haters calls her slurs and other stupid gibberish so it's easy for her to act like a victim and be like "eww stop saying these dirty words on my blog!!1!1! ùwù"

Meanwhile, I am rationally calling out how much of a deceptive lying joke she is point-to-point. Note she never bothers arguing back to my reply to her messages, when she's usually so fond of having back & forth with people criticizing her - that's because she has no way to deny what I say cause that's the truth.

Look at her dunking on abortive women, stating they'll always be murderer, but the moment someone reminds her she's a homwrecker she's like "sToP rEmIndIng Me oF My PasT iT wAs tHe DemOns I aM a DiFeRenT pErSoN NoW" ...okay so why couldn't the women who aborted be granted the same mercy as you do? Can you imagine if we told her "unpopular opinion but I think all the women who had sex outside of marriage are whores, and will always be whoresuwu" ?? ....This girl is soooooo delusional.

She acts like we calling her own for being a hypocrite racist piece of crap makes her "obsessed with her". We're not - we're just appealed by the gigantic space between what she professes about herself (smol uwu angel from God uwu) and how she actually behaves. There are plentiful of nasty people on tumblr, yet they don't get half the shot she gets because they don't pretend to be pure virginal uwu angels. That's what makes people angry : people LYING for clout & attention. And also as Christian, many of us refuse to let a foolish weirdo claim being one when she's not. So that legitimately becomes OUR problem too.

And yes, you're not the one to feel she has a very masculine energy. Always being into petty drama, foul-mouthed, calling women misogynist slurs ("c*nt" is her favorite one).... There's no wonder she's trying to compensate constantly reminding how smol & tiny uwu she is - because everything about her personality is masculine and ugly.

It's so funny to see them racist American White chicks gatekeep coquette from Black women when they themselves are appropriating the OG french coquette (unsurprisingly she's been flexing about having french heritage - which might be a lie considering what a pathological liar she is...🥴). Sorry, but you can't be a real coquette unless you're an under 20 years old French girl with a BMI below 18, that's the rule💅🏾 Yankee wannabe will NEVER be able to pull out that effortless tiny french girl swag.

#answered

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incarnateirony · 1 year

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Neat update: While the parts I was personally waiting for are done, the Winchesters crew is now *not* considered done filming.

The last... 3 weeks or so were a bit odd. A week of carnival, and the following week uh--well, someone (I'm sorry to have to Trust Me Bro thsi one) said that like some 13 was being filmed with 12.

And you'll remember I was counting weeks. And I was like. Huh. I thought we were a week or so short. Must have lost track. And nonnies tried to be like HAHA U WERE WRONG and I was like. No? I just... adjust to new information? And at least the stuff I wanted was done.

But when I said a few more pieces out there not accounted for, they're not. I don't know how many days of filming is considered left (probably 5 or less). And this actually means they're confident about coming back.

See, a crew that senses doom or knows they're being cut can just go, screw this. I ain't coming back after Christmas. Anyone opposed to pushing Saturday and a few longer days and just wrapping?

But they didn't do that. Instead, they're coming back. Jojo, Drake and Meg come back for something this week. Nida, next week. Is it even contiguous filming, or availability based, I don't know.

When I talk about flex scripts or accordions, it's kinda for things like this. When you leave your Cliffhanger Potential with just enough you can adjust it smoothly like it was always going to stretch there.

The majority story morals, plot, original season destination, all of that is still in play, for what that's worth. No, I don't know the next road beyond that. Still landing where we're landing for this season, so sorry to any haters that imagined that goalpost was something they could run around another year.

So, adjusting to new information again, it seems I was correct before, and we're several days of filming short. It just. Wasn't on the schedule for me anywhere yet cuz Christmas. Unless we've got a surprise backorder but I don't think so, there just isn't the real estate for it.

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prsk-krow · 1 year

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Fun idea!

How about a fun scenario where Ena, and Mizuki -seperately- is playing a Gacha game that features the Reader as one of the units and Ena and Mizuki are just completely bias towards Reader that they are ready to fight them haters. Then when a new banner comes out and Reader is the featured character and looks completely gorgeous in the splash art of their card, Ena or Mizuki probbably spends all of their savings just to get Reader and when they did, Ena and Mizuki are running straight to their phone/computer to fangirl about them and maybe flex about it. Not really sure if I can request something like this and if this is a Platonic or Romantic ask so I'll leave it up to you :)!

Um, update on this request... It's honestly too detailed for me... It's really hard to not only fit all of this into the headcanons, but also combine it with how they would react and imagining how would the reader be... Um, it's a little bit too much for me! If you could reduce the details, perhaps I could give it a shot! But at this state, it's just a lot... Sorry...

#/cawcaw

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mulletmitsuya · 2 years

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Toman groupchat

Warnings: just Toman being silly, swearing, akward texting, its really long (im so sorry idk how to do the read more thing)

Desc: Draken's confession doesn't go as planned

Draken: hey

Draken: so uhm

Draken: i'd rather just get all my feelings out at once so don't type or say anything till im done

Draken: so i've been thinking about our relationship as friends

Draken: and how we've know each other so long

Draken: and i've realized that i kinda don't see you that way anymore, as just a friend

Draken: when i found out i was bi, you were the first person i told, and i dont think it was just because i trusted you, but cause you were like, the reason?? sorry it's hard to put my thoughts into words

Draken: and i realized that you dont feel that way about a 'friend'

Draken: i didn't wanna tell you cause i don't wanna ruin our friendship but i feel i need to tell you the truth cause iv'e felt this way for a while

Draken: i really like you, and not just as my best friend, i like you romantically

Draken: you just mean a lot to me, and tbh i dont think i could imagine myself without you cause i feel that you're my other half

Draken: i hope im not freaking you out, and i hope this doesnt change anything between us just because you dont feel the same way

Draken: yeah

Draken: i'm done

Baji: ...😧

Mikey: HELLO????????????

Mikey: WHO WAS THAT FOR

Kazutora: wrong chat Draken💀

Chifuyu: aww😊

Mitsuya: Draken i think you pressed the wrong chat

Mikey: HOLD UP, PAUSE

Draken: ...

Draken: fuck

*Draken has gone offline*

Baji: WHAT JUST HAPPENED SJWKWJNSN

Kazutora: nah cause if that happend to me i would not be okay

Mitsuya: maybe we should check on him

Angry: who did he mean to send it to??

Mikey: I THINK IT WAS ME NGL

Baji: KJSBMSHSKBM??????

Smiley: STOP

Smiley: WHY WOULD U THINK ITS YOU

Mikey: NO HEAR ME OUT

Mikey: HE WAS GOING ON A RANT LAST NIGHT ABOUT HOW ROMANTIC FEELINGS RUIN FRIENDSHIPS

Mikey: AND I GAVE HIM SOME ADVICE

Baji: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????

Kazutora: Mikey your not capable of love why would you give someone relationship advice

Mikey: STFU

Mikey: SO I TOLD HIM TO BOTTLE UP ALL HIS EMOTIONS AND ISOLATE HIMSELF IN ORDER TO DEAL WITH IT RIGHT

Smiley: ????

Chifuyu: that explains a lot actually

Baji: is that how you think??

Kazutora: ohhhhhhhh

Mikey: AND THEN HE TOLD ME THAT HE COULDN'T KEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS FEELINGS

Mikey: THEN I STRONGLY DISAGREED CAUSE YOU CAN IF YOU RUN REALLY FAST

Mikey: THEN I GAVE HIM "HALF" OF MY DORAYAKI

Mikey: HE SAID "OTHER HALF" IN THE CONFESSION

Mikey: AND IM HIS BEST FRIEND

Mikey: ITS ME ISN'T IT

Baji: im worried about your thought process

Smiley: are you stupid?😁

Kazutora: Mikey that literally made zero fucking sense what are you talking about

Mitsuya: that's bullshit bro

Mitsuya: its makes no sense

Mikey: haters

Mikey: you're just mad that Ken-chin's in love with me and not you

Baji: wait

Baji: omg it's Mitsuya

Smiley: OHHHHH

Smiley: THAT MAKES SENSE ACTUALLY

Angry: OMG OTHER HALF CAUSE TWIN DRAGONS

Mikey: you guys are misunderstanding the situation

Kazutora: MIKEY STFU

Kazutora: MITSUYA??

Mitsuya: stop making assumptions

Mikey: :/

Baji: WHY ARE U MAD DONT U HAVE A BOYFRIEND

Mikey: yeah but Ken-chin being in love with me would have been such a huge flex

Kazutora: k guys if you read back a lot of shit points to Mitsuya

Kazutora: it just makes sense

Mitsuya: guys stop, let's stop talking about this, its his business. okay?

Baji: no

Baji: so anyway, Mitsuya is the person he's known longest

Baji: and he told him he was bi first

Baji: and they're best friends

Baji: BROOOOO

Smiley: Mitsuya go ask him

Mitsuya: no??

Kazutora: what do you have to lose

Mitsuya: my pride

Kazutora: if its not you??

Kazutora: we've established it is

Mitsuya: let's stop talking about this

Chifuyu: but its very obviously you Mitsuya-kun

Mitsuya: you guys are reaching

Mitsuya: i'm kinda busy with smth so im just gonna

*Mitsuya has left the chat*

Baji: hmmmm

Baji: suspicious

Kazutora: how do you confess your undying love for your best friend in a groupchat by mistake lmao

Mikey: is Mitsuya okay tho he seemed kinda upset

Dm between Mitsuya and Draken

Mitsuya: hey

Mitsuya: are you okay?

Mitsuya: sorry i didn't check up on you earlier i was trying to deal with those jerks

Draken: thanks man, dont worry about it

Draken: ..what did they say?

Mitsuya: they were mainly just trying to find out who it was meant for

Draken: oh

Mitsuya: yeahhh

Mitsuya: you sure you're okay tho?

Draken: yeah i am, just kinda embarrassed since i worked up all that courage

Mitsuya: you shouldn't be, it was sweet

Mitsuya: a shame it didn't get to the intended person tho

Draken: ....yeahh

Draken: you think it was sweet?

Draken: i was scared that it would be cheesy

Mitsuya: doesn't matter if its cheesy. they're your honest feelings and there's nothing wrong with them

Draken: thanks Mitsuya

Draken: really means a lot

Mitsuya: don't worry about it <3

Mitsuya: sorry, the heart was weird lol

Draken: no it wasn't don't apologize. i like it

Draken: also don't you wanna know who it is..?

Mitsuya: i do, but only if you're ready to tell me. dont wanna make you uncomfortable or anything.

Draken: ...

Draken: you're making this really hard for me

Draken: my palms are sweating and i can't type properly

Draken: fuck

Mitsuya: why are you sweating???

Draken: cause i'm texting the person i like

Mitsuya: you are???

Mitsuya: then why are you texting me?? focus on THAT conversation first

Draken: ...

Draken: i mean you

Draken: you're the person i like

Draken: sorry if that wasn't clear

Draken: the confession was meant for you

Mitsuya: ...

Mitsuya: oh

Draken: ...

Mitsuya: sorry just give me a sec im freaking out

Draken: i'm sorry that wasn't my intention we can just forget about it if you like

Draken: actually no, i can't just forget about it

Draken: i have really strong feelings towards you and i can't just forget them

Draken: i tried, the first time i found out that i liked you i really tried but i can't

Draken: i get like, zero sleep cause i'm thinking about you

Draken: i wish i could have said this in person

Draken: i'm sorry

Mitsuya: i really like you too

Mitsuya: i just thought it would be unrealistic for you to like me back

Mitsuya: so i didnt say anything

Draken: ...

Draken: really?

Draken: thank god

Draken: i was about to cry

Draken: this was really stressing me out

Draken: do you really??

Mitsuya: yeah

Mitsuya: a lot

Mitsuya: i really like you

Draken: ........

Draken: can i come over? so i can see and talk to you in person?

Mitsuya: yeah, that'd be really nice

Draken: ok

Draken: see you soon Kashi

Mitsuya: <3

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makoandharu · 3 years

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Imagine makoto holding therapy sessions with sousuke and hiyori and makoto is like "what do we do when our best friend gets closer with another person?" And they were like "threaten them to fuck off" "badmouth them to make them realize they don't deserve to be with my friend" and makoto is like "NOOO!!!"

Then one day he invites a guest speaker and they were like "nanase-kun? How is he a victim?" "No offense but he's the offender in our cases" and haru was like " i was also a victim...kisumi kept draping himself all over makoto and had the nerve to smugly leer at me. Did i wring his neck or call him a strawberry slut? Apparently not" and makoto is like "now settle down we're all victims here"

Meanwhile kisumi is holding a different session with rin haru and ikuya and is like "so this how you don't neglect your best friend so that i don't have to console them with playing basketball" and ikuya is like "is he really just here to flex that he can seduce our bfs?" Rin is like "whoring yourself with our bfs is not something to be proud of" And haru is like "now you know what i suffered for 3 years in middle school" then kisumi is like "y'all have no room to talk asahi was cities away from me and we didn't lose contact nor did he feel getting replaced I'm the best 'best friend' here"

Bfjdjdjjfidjsjajsj EXCELLENT!!!! Hiyori and Sousuke bonding over their distaste of Haru. Haru being absolutely unaware that these people not only think about him in their free time but actively dislike him, when he forgets they exist as soon as he turns away. Makoto's like yeah they kinda just complain about you, sorry! And Haru's like??? I am a delight?? We need to all band together and destroy the actual enemy which is Shigino??

But also IT'S NOT KISUMI'S FAULT HE'S SUCH A WELL ADJUSTED AND EMOTIONALLY STABLE BISEXUL KING??? Everyone's a hater and they absolutely should all be in these therapy groups and learn to be more like Kisumi, overdramatic emo swimmers 😂

#ask #anon #headcanons #sano squad #hiyoiku #makoharu

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psycho-slytherin · 5 years

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Strangers ch. 34

Yoongi finds your phone– and so does someone else...

Pairing: Yoongi x (female) Reader

Word count: 1.8k

Genre: fluff, angst

|mlist|

<–– Prev Next ––>

You force a laugh. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t lie to me, y/n,” Yoongi says softly, his voice a knife in your back. “These– Jesus.” He exhales sharply as your phone buzzes again, again, again. You would’ve turned your notifications off months ago, but you need Twitter for your jobs. “How long has it been like this?”

@satanhasaholdoffrance: hey @yourname make like a tree and die

@queenynuwu: I hope y/n knows we love her!! <3 @yourname

@gummyyoongi: has anyone found @yourname‘s address yet?

“I don’t know what you mean,” you reply stubbornly. You don’t want your weight on Yoongi’s shoulders, not when you know he’ll blame himself.

“Bullshit. You said this wasn’t happening! You told me that my fans weren’t coming after you.”

“And you never checked,” you reply, your throat tight. “You know what I am. I’m a liar. And you trusted me– that’s your mistake.”

Yoongi flinches. “I know you don’t mean that.”

You begin trembling, your hands and arms and shoulders tensing against your will. “You shouldn’t trust me, Yoongi.” I’ve kept too many secrets from you.

“Well, I do trust you. I know you too well, y/n, and you don’t mean that. But this?” He taps your phone. “This is messed up.”

You take a step back, shrinking into yourself. “I-I’m sorry.”

“What? No. Why are you apologizing?” Yoongi gets up and walks towards you, his eyes intense. “My fans– the stuff they’re saying– that’s what’s messed up. And y/n, I’m so, so sorry this happened. You don’t deserve it.”

“I, uh...” you mumble, confused. Why isn’t he angry at you? You lied to him, again and again and again. “Sorry...”

Yoongi sighs, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “What are you even apologizing for?”

“I don’t know!” You cry. “I thought you’d be mad at me!”

“I’m not mad at you, y/n-ie.” Yoongi raises his arm and brushes a loose strand of hair out of your face. “I’m just worried. The comments you’re getting, the haters... they’re too much for anyone.”

Your mind drifts to the nightmares, the thoughts that your hate comments have inspired within you.

Yoongi’s gaze darkens, but he’s not looking at you– he’s staring far off, at something beyond. “I’ve seen idols, trainees– friends– that internalized those things, and they didn’t see an escape... no one is equipped to deal with this shit alone, no one.” Yoongi swallows, and his voice wavers. “So don’t try, y/n. You’re not alone, and I can’t lose you.”

You blink hard before drawing back and punching Yoongi in the arm.

“Ow!” Yoongi yelps, rubbing his arm. “What the hell?”

“That’s for being dramatic,” you say, using all your willpower to keep your voice light. “And this–” you poke him in the ribs– “is for being selfish. I don’t wanna lose me either, nerd. It’s not all about you.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Yoongi laughs. “My bad, I almost forgot that you’re a force to be reckoned with.”

“Just don’t let it happen again,” you sniff haughtily.

“I won’t, promise. Hey, do you need a lift to your next job?”

“Nah, I’ll take the bus. I’m not famous like you,” you reply. Besides, you want to be alone with your thoughts.

“Suit yourself. I have to go to the studio anyways.”

“Another BTS comeback already?” You muse, and Yoongi winks.

“Nope.”

~~~

Once Yoongi leaves, you wriggle into another sweater and shrug your coat on over it. You can’t help but feel chilly lately, and you can’t afford to get a cold.

You leave your apartment building and quickly walk towards the bus stop. Your afternoon will be spent on a photoshoot for a new makeup line, and Lisa said you’d be able to keep some of the merchandise.

You adjust your face mask and pop in your earphones, your mind a whirling dervish of thoughts. You imagined Yoongi would be furious– after all, you’d promised no more secrets. You couldn’t help but keep your Twitter mess to yourself, because you didn’t want your friend to stress about it.

Friend... the word seems strange to you, almost wrong.

Well, we’re ‘dating’ now, you think, so I guess he’s my fake-boyfriend instead.

It’s weird; for years you were completely in love with Yoongi, besotted with his face and voice and laugh and lyrics. His shy, goofy nature. His irresistible charm. You remember when you and Lisa would scream together at every new music video, each concept photo, any hint or clue or theory. It seems so long ago now.

Speaking of Lisa... your phone begins buzzing with a call from your manager/friend.

“Y/n, darling, how are you doing? How’s the leg?”

“All healed up now,” you reply, flexing and unflexing your left leg. You lost a lot of blood, but your injury missed all the arteries and important stuff.

“Great. Hey, I lined up a job, it’s yours for the taking if you’re interested. They need an extra in a cologne commercial, it should only be a two-day shoot and we can plan around Moon Over The Sea. What do you think?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” you murmur absentmindedly. “How much does it pay?”

“Pretty well, your cut would be only a little less than you’re making on the makeup shoot today.”

“Alright, sign me up.”

“Great. And... how’s it going with Yoongi?”

You jolt. “What?”

“C’mon, y/n, you can’t expect me not to ask. You’re dating your idol!”

“I-I’m not, really...”

“Oh, shush. It’s official, isn’t it? BigHit confirmed it last week. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were together!”

You grit your teeth– you have to tell her the truth. “Lisa, seriously, it’s not real.”

“I know, I bet it totally feels like a fairy tale, huh? I’m so jealous.” Lisa’s voice gets quieter, pouty. “We have to hang out soon, it’s been ages since we’ve had a proper gossip sesh!”

“But...”

“No buts! I’m ordering you as your manager to hang out with your best friend... who is also your manager... who is also me.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Yes ma’am, just pencil me in.”

“Will do! See you soon.”

“See ya.

Humming to yourself, you continue your bus ride, arriving at the studio a few minutes early. A fashionable young man strides up to you bearing shorts and a shirt.

“Ah, you’re here. L/n y/n, right? Perfect, perfect, put these on and we’ll get you straight into hair and makeup.”

“Uhh...” you examine the outfit he gave you. “Are you sure this is for me?”

“Of course I am, what are you talking about?”

“It’s black, these shorts are made of leather, and...” you trail off, gulping. “It’s all very tight.” That’s right, clothes like these will only hug the curves you don’t have. You’re not a sex icon like some of the female idols you’ve seen Yoongi with on TV. You know as someone in the entertainment industry, you’re supposed to be fashionable– but you’re too much a fan of oversized sweaters and soft pants to let them go. “I don’t know if this outfit suits me.”

“Nonsense, you’re beautiful– you just need the confidence! Besides, you’re gonna have to get used to this type of stuff if you want to get anywhere in your career,” the man chuckles. “Changing room is over there. When you’re ready, head to hair and makeup.”

“R-right,” you mumble, taking the clothes. They look so cold, you shiver just thinking about putting them on.

Ten minutes later, you stare at yourself in the mirror. Staring back at you seems to be a child, a little girl who doesn’t belong, who can barely fill out the tight crop top or shorts. And you’re supposed to be dating Yoongi? You don’t know if you want to laugh or cry. Yoongi deserves better, someone prettier, smarter, who looks like they belong at his side. In your mind’s eye, you can see Yoongi next to you in the mirror– black-haired, a brow raised, his mouth quirking upwards in a lazy smirk. He looks like a prince, a god, and you look like you’re playing dress-up next to him. No wonder so many people are upset; you’re doing Yoongi no favors by being with him.

You sigh and shake your head. You’re cold, so cold, and you hate it. You turn away from the mirror to get your hair and makeup done.

“Okay, can you give me a little lip bite? Something cheeky? Oh, perfect! Yes, hold like that!” The camera flashes while you sit frozen in place. “Cross your legs now, hold the lipstick closer to your face... can you give me bedroom eyes?”

Face flushed, you lower your lashes and pout your lips like you’ve seen real models do, and the camera flashes again and again. The lipstick you’ve got on is a brighter red than you’ve ever dared to wear, and combined with the outfit and your bold eyeliner, you look a little edgy.

“Great, y/n, you’re doing wonderfully. We need one more photo for the spread...” the photographer looks around the photo studio, which is a rather minimalist set. “Can someone get me that chair? Y/n, sit on it backwards and try for a smirk– like an ‘I’m-better-than-you’ face.”

But I’m not. Still you try, channeling your inner Seokjin as you fix the camera with your best downward stare, and then half smiling as though you’ve got a secret– which you do, too many to count. Half a dozen shots later, you’re dismissed with the promise that the money will be wired to your account by Friday.

The next morning, you wake up to the familiar buzzing of your notifications, again and again and again. You haven’t overslept, have you? No, your clock informs you that it’s not even six AM. You groan and flip your phone over to read your new mentions.

@beautyoftheseoul: Check out our new line of matte lipsticks, modeled by #MoonOverTheSea’s @yourname!

@chimyoongles: Omg @2460sunshine did you see that @yourname liked a yoongi thirst tweet? Lmaooo I’m dying she’s rly all of us

@scarletwitchisjunghoseok: I think I love @yourname now that she’s exposed herself as an army lololol

@captainkookie21: why are ppl stanning @yourname for her fuckup lol it just goes to show what a liar and a slut she is.

You blink sleepily. You liked a tweet about Yoongi? You’ve been careful about doing that ever since you became a public figure, in case Yoongi noticed. You tap through your likes and gasp:

@slutfordionysus: rt if you want Suga to crush you between his thighs, like if you want him to use his tongue technology on you ;)

Oh, fuck. You never liked that. You’ve never even seen that tweet. Which means... you’ve been hacked?

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shizuumi151 · 6 years

Text

A day in the life of an activist

I won’t lie, it’s tough work.

The weight of people’s sins do make me question, at times, the integrity of humanity. The goodness of people. There are times I look up and the trek to righteousness seems endless. A light at the end of the tunnel I can never seem to reach, no matter how much I try. And I try. So hard.

But I know that the work of a true activist never ends. I know that, for a single moment I rest, there goes another sinner astray. One I must personally rend back into the light, lest they feel the cold, parching flames of Hell grace their skin, to teach them too late. And what am I if not their saviour? Their guiding light? Whom else would they rely upon, if not me?

That’s why I go back. Every day, without fail, I flex my fingers, wipe the grime off my computer screen...

And start writing a callout post.

The things that I’ve seen...make me retch. I see pixels, coloured and arranged in lines resembling a courgette, and bile rises in my throat. It may not even be that; they may just be lying horizontal, holding hands and smiling, and already the warning sirens flash within my head. And not just in images. Words describing horrible, awful things, of 18 year olds (or older but who weren’t that age in the source material because that is the point why would they taint these non-existent characters that don’t exist ever with their adult imagination) doing, more than...

...kissing.

I’m sorry, I got away from myself there. I usually save that for my callouts. Forgive me.

At times they---god, I might get sick---they have this time travel Ay-Yu, where...where they have one of someone’s fictional creation interact with the other someone’s fictional creation when one’s in middle school, and the other is in high school?

That isn’t the worst of it.

And sometimes (Lord save me now) these people have these non-existent lines...touch.

Uglies.

It’s morally wrong! Morally wrong, I tell you! It’s paedophilia! I mean yeah there are kids around the world being traumatised by acts of twisted, foul, actual paedophiles who would think of preying and damaging the lives and psyches of real children who will grow with the stains of their trauma clinging onto them indelibly, requiring the most delicate and vigilant of professional help to ensure their recovery and prevent their suffering.

But we’re talking about the real issues here.

Escapist fantasy? No one’s getting hurt? People can tell between fiction and reality? It’s a work of fiction and at the production for and consumption by and large by adults who are legally able to view porn of real people which is somehow more normalised in society than the depiction of sex in erotica or fanart?

I don’t even bother deigning a response to that BS.

Lies beget lies, and you start to wonder when it ever gets old. All the dissent, all the haters clinging on and making excuses for the true perpetrators (an apologist for a rape apologist; their kind tend to flock, don’t they?).

They even flag their content as the NSFW atrocities they are, the twisted bastards. And tag all their content, too.

Have they no shame?

Don’t they know children are on the sites where they disseminate their vile creed? Don’t they know the creator is responsible for who decides to view and engage with their work, and that even though options like blocking and safe mode exist the consumer has zero, absolutely rock-bottom responsibility in maintaining and controlling the sort of content they view?

Child abuse at its finest I tell you.

I’ve turned down job offers before. Interviews where they ask me why I don’t dedicate my activism to paedophilia, rape, and abusive relationships in the real world because of how madly, deeply I care about what I think it is in derivative works of fiction. They ask me how I have the time to dedicate myself so passionately to other people’s business in the figments of their imagination about other figments of imagination.

But you know what they say. An activist’s...

...Nay.

A hero’s work is never done.

#satire #bc let's face it on a site like here i'll have to slap a tag of satire on this #make it crystal clear #lol what do i even tag this as #dear minors who care too much about what other people do w your beloved lines and colours #here's to all the butthurt ones #personal #the face of true activism

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maskydoo · 5 years

Text

Nightmare Neighbors 1

(I’m writing out scripts for upcoming storytime style youtube videos, and posting what I have here. Note that this is a true story. Feedback is welcome.)

For the first year after we left the Army and got booted into the real world to fend for ourselves, my boyfriend and I didn’t have the luxury of being too picky about where we lived. In a hurry, we rented what we thought was a decent condo, but it’s not like we knew what we were doing.

It was a learning experience. What I learned is that I will never live anywhere with shared walls or communal areas ever again, and I’m sure not renting.

One of several things that put me off was dealing with people. Ugh. People. People just – they just ruin everything. And with condo life, they’re inescapable.

My ideal home now is a mountain cabin, deep in woods somewhere, where I never have to hear anyone or see a human face if I don’t want to.

That’s heaven to me.

How bad do neighbors have to be that I’d literally rather replace them with wild bears?

Being stuck in a 12-month lease in Entitled Parents Village will do that to you. The neighborhood kids, the parents, everyone, they all just sucked to deal with.

I don’t even know why it attracted people like this in the first place. Rent was not cheap, we weren’t near a school, and there was nothing around that should say “child-friendly” to anyone. Only about half the condos had yard, and these “yards,” weren’t much bigger than a small bedroom. Just a tiny fenced area just big enough for a small dog to do their business, and not much else.

There was a somewhat large common greenspace between the condo rows, but it wasn’t fenced, and there was no playground and nothing to do.

No surprise the kids were unbearable, they often are.

And before anyone calls me a child-hater…

Yeah. Kinda.

Being a kid is awesome, being stuck around kids sucks. Just ask any kid. They might object, right up until they’re forced to deal with their own younger siblings.

It’s the parents’ own fault, I know. And I’m using the word “parent” very loosely here, since they never actually did any parenting - verb. They never supervised their kids or taught them to behave. They just shove their kids outside to be everyone else’s problem, because watching TV is more important than actually spending any time at all with the children they chose to force into the world. There is a world of difference between people who actually parent, and people who just breed.

This isn’t simply a matter of kids being kids, it’s parents not being parents.

Letting kids play outside in the common green space would have been one thing, but this was way out of hand. The kid just ran around in feral packs with absolutely no one watching or controlling them in any way, wreaking havoc and tearing up all in their path. Fighting each other, playing chicken with cars, and destroying anything they could get their hands on, with absolutely no parents even so much as occasionally glancing away from Facebook to stop them, like they just expected kids to raise themselves.

I think I read this book before, it’s called Lord Of The Flies and it is not a how-to manual!

And how does anyone ignore all the racket these meat sirens make?! I’m not talking about normal kids playing noises here either – no, that would have been one thing – No, I mean the screamed at the top if their lungs for no reason all the time just because they could. I don’t even know how they did it – they’re kids – their lungs are only so big!

I can only assume their parents found teaching their kids to have some volume control was just too much effort to bother with, so they send them outside to scream. Because why should parents suffer alone? Misery loves company, right? If hey haven’t had a moment of peace since the condom broke, why should anyone else?

I never understood that saying “screaming blood murder.” It was just such an overused chiche it didn’t mean anything one more. But after this, I got it.

Not long after moving in, I heard blood-curdling screaming so loud and terrible that I rushed outside legitimately expecting to find a child being brutally skinned alive. Why else would a human make such a horrible sound? I don’t know what my plan was, like I was gunna fight some axe murderer or something, when I’m barely bigger than a kid myself.

But I rush out there and what do I find? Some brat, more than old enough to know better, just standing out there, alone, completely unharmed, just screaming his stupid head off, for no doggamn reason at all.

No one was even trying to murder him.

Yet.

This brat seriously had the nerve to stare at me with a look like ‘what’s your problem?’

Oh, I’m sorry. Am I bothering you?!

Kids screaming all the time over nothing was a constant thing. I stopped checking to see if they were OK. No one else was bothering to check either, certainly not their PARENTS.

The plot of a horror movie could seriously unfold right outside everyone’s home, and no one would even glance out their window. They’d all just assume it’s brats being brats, as usual. That’s what happens when you cry wolf.

At least there would be quiet.

It didn’t stop at noise, either. I’ve tripped in holes they dug in the greenspace, chased off brats who were pulling apart my fence boards trying to harass my dog, and I even found them climbing on people’s cars.

That’s not a jungle gym!

Just tell their parents?

These parents don’t care. If they did, they’d recognize that their kids are bored and lonely and need to do something with their energy, so they’d take their kids to the park and -ya know – take an active role in their lives and give them some actual structure, and then this crap wouldn’t even happen in the first place.

But apart from that,

The parents are on my car too! Where do you think the brats get it from?!

I’m heading to work one day. And lucky me, it was one of the few days I actually got to park in my own spot that I pay for without one if these entitled parents taking it - again, and this is what I find:

Some dude just causally resting his butt on my car while he chats up one of the moms.

Imagine feeling so entitled to just sit on other people’s things. Just rubbing your butt all over their property. I just. I can’t. Clearly these people weren’t properly raised by their own parents either.

And like, what are you even doing here, dude? Are you trying to pretend that’s your ride? You’re really trying to impress her with this? My car is even older than I am. How shitty is your car if this is your flex?

Me: “Move.”

(unlocks)

(Guy gives dirty looks, lady giggles.)

Oh, sorry dude. Am I bothering you?

Totally ruined what I assume is that dude’s pickup attempt.

Good. There’s enough neglected screaming kids here as it is, no need to add to the cacophony.

When the adults of the area were as bad as the kids. They’d have loud, trashy arguments arguments with each other, leave their trash all over, scream at their dogs rather than ever actually bring them inside when they bark.

Yelling at your dog only makes them bark more! How about actually taking him for a WALK once in a while – your tiny yard is not enough! Take your dog, take your kids, and go to the park and you’ll all be happier and healthier.

Speaking of dogs, there was this one neighbor who would leave their dog, just a little pitbull puppy, chained up outside in the common green. Yeah. In the common green. Even though they had a a yard they could have had the pup in. Admittedly it was tiny, but it’s not like being on the chain gave him any extra space. His line was just long enough for him to wander into my parking space, so I’d have to be careful to avoid running him over. The poor thing would be out there alone, with no water, all day every day no matter the weather. Yeah, they were as bad dog owners as they were parents.

But even that was an improvement on the other neighbor who had the older pitt. He lived in one of the condos without even the tiny yards others had. But he didn’t let that stop him from just opening the door and letting his dog run free when he wanted out. It wasn’t even like his dog was getting out on accident, dude was doing it on purpose. Yeah, really. Forget a leash, this guy couldn’t even be bothered to go outside with his dog. So this big loose, untrained, energetic pitt would tear around, tackling people, taking out everyone’s legs, bothering other dogs, and running off into traffic. Bad parenting here included furkids too.

Pitts are such good dogs! They deserve to be treated better than this! If you’re not going to take care of your dogs, if you’re not going to take care of your kids – DON’T HAVE ANY!

The most baffling thing I saw was the honking dude. It was like 10PM, and I couldn’t sleep because someone just kept honking their damn horn. It wasn’t a car alarm, either. This dude was just honking angrily and laying on the horn.

I assumed he was just someone here to pick up a neighbor, and too lazy and inconsiderate to just knock on a door. Or fing text like EVERYONE. After 10 minutes of this crap, I had enough.

When I got outside to tell him off, I realized this guy isn’t even stopped in one place. He is slowly, very slowly, driving his car round and round on the road that encircles the condo area.

Amazing. I was expecting to deal with a douche-bag, but this is some extra next-level douchery.

I cut him off and yell

“HEY!”

He stopped his car, and his honking, and stared at me like ‘what’s your problem?’

Oh, am I bothering you?!

“What are you honking for?”

“Cus.”

Seriously?!

“Cut it out or I’m calling the cops!”

He swears at me a bit, but peels out when I pull up my phone. Still had to honk some more on his way out. Douche. I wonder if this is what the random screaming kid evolves into when he collects enough douche exp.

The unit that shared walls with us used to house a couple in it who would keep us awake, and quite concerned, with their loud domestics. But even when they were evicted, that didn’t bring us quiet either. After the landlord spent weeks of his own hard work and who knows how much money repairing the walls that the last family put so many holes in, the next tenants’ kid immediately set to creating brand new ones.

It’s the kind of thing I think of when I remember that I have to struggle to find a place that even allows pets at all, and then pay a pet deposit for my perfect quiet dog who does nothing wrong in her whole life, but there’s literally nothing landlords can do about renting to people with kids. Also puts me off any thoughts of being a landlord myself.

(tap tap tap tap bang! Rattle)

Me: “WTF is that?”

(tap tap tap tap bang! Rattle)

This kid next door was running, full speed, to body slam our wall. Then, not learning any lessons from pain, doubling back to charge again.

Me: “Why…?”

I saw this kid outside with the others sometimes, not a parent in sight as usual. He looked like he was maybe 5, but acted more like he was 2. He didn’t seem to be able to speak, just did this gargle scream thing and that was it for communication. I think the poor guy may have had a disability of some kind, but his parents were literally never anywhere to be found to say so.

His assaults on the wall would go on for like half an hour at a time until the kid would wear himself out, or maybe hurt himself enough to finally stop. No adults ever stopped him, I know that. Either his parents were leaving him home alone, or they were home and just ignored him doing this, like they just don’t care if he gets hurt. Either way, they should have never been parents.

Special needs isn’t just a cutesy euphemism, it means you need to do extra work to raise a kid, not less. His needs are special, he needs more.

More than once I’ve seen this wandering around outside completely naked, and looking lost. No parents trying to wrangle him, no parents looking for him, nothing. I guess they just didn’t care if he got hit by a car or picked up by a creeper.

A number of people called CPS, but I don’t know if anything ever came of it. I felt bad for the kid. He deserves competent parents who actually care about him. I hope he eventually got some, and got the help he needs.

(tap tap tap tap bang! Rattle)

But sympathy didn’t make me hate living next door any less.

I couldn’t be happier when our year was up and my boyfriend and I bought our house. We made sure to pick a house with space between the neighbors, and avoided any place too near to playgrounds, schools, or daycares. Eventually we settled on place in a nice neighborhood on the north end of town and I thought our neighbor problems were over.

I thought wrong.

The neighbors I just spent this whole video complaining about definitely suck. Crappy-garbage-trash-heaps! But these aren’t THE nightmare neighbors of the title. Oh-no. I haven’t got to them yet.

This is just the prologue. The set up.

Buying a house in a nice neighborhood didn’t solve the problem like I expected. No. It’s about to get worse.

#maskydoo #nightmare neighbors #storytime #script #feedback welcome

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sl7ventime · 6 years

Link

SIGN UP Hot 97 Freestyle Black Thought HOT 97 FREESTYLE LYRICS [Verse] Uh, I'm sorry for your loss It's a body dead in the car and it's probably one of yours The writing all across the window and the walls Whether it was true or false, we shouldn't have got involved Remember, we walked past the teacher, take the chalk and laugh We wrote punishments: "I will not talk in class" Now it's pistols punishing people for talking fast And all these innocent bystanders is hauling ass I hate to say I told y'all, but I told y'all Things fall apart when the center too weak to hold ya'll I'm just collecting what you owed to my old jawn You 'bout to get swooped down on and stoled on Fools swear they wise, wise men know they foolish Well, we was headed for the web even before computers I never thought you'd give me a reason to do this Cain and Abel, Jesus and Judas Caesar and Brutus, I see intruders, avert your eyes I told you keep out of the hood, circumcise How could you sleep? I thought you always was the first to rise Ay, yo, you heard the line, "Everybody plays the fool"? Well, I'll be that exception to the rule The principal that hand-deliver lessons to the school I was making major moves, my dollar déjà vu My mission was my ambition was brandishing a tool To be a' icon, wearing slippers made of python Get mine quicker 'cause I'm slick as a pipeline Transportin' the oil, tribulation and toil Hit the operation, but I'm back in the soil Got my crown tilted, my gown quilted, silk with cashmere Burning Rome down in a minute, built it last year Newsflash, I dodged the bullet that killed the cashier My homie told me to come with him to the masjid Them brothers said, "Don't go from written bars filled with rage To primetime television and your gilded cage Then forget it's people in the world still enslaved" I barbwired my wrist, and let it fill the page Gun fire n' flares, sirens glare I'm in a iron chair where people who care Don't get the lion's share When I don't give a fuck, then I ain't fair I'm on a higher tier with people gettin' money like the financier Cash the herald I'm fresh chopped, A Bevel Rap on a doctorate level, so F. Scott Fitzgerald Maybe I'm the new Rakim, maybe I'm fat Pharaohe Undergarments or armor be my intimate apparel Pre-Kardashian Kanye, my rhymeplay immaculate Same cadence as D.O.C. pre-accident Maybe, my acumen's on par with Kool G. Rap and them Give me the proper respect, mothafucka', we back again For a couple things we lost in a fire The drive, the desire to perform on a higher plateau I'm at that show, lost in a mire Wondering how we got so far from inspired Look, when photos were sepia-toned And record players were somethin' you would keep in your home Yo, the traveler, the meaning of Tariq, he was known For the exemplary performance, uniquely his own I made the twenty-one pound for some a newfound religion Where money's put down, it's only one sound that make OGs and young lions equally proud to listen The secret amalgamism, a algorithm Coming from where only kings and crowns permitted the darkness Where archaeologists found my image in parchment Rolled into a scroll, holding a message for you It said, "The only thing for sure is taxes, death, and trouble" The anomaly sworn solemnly, high snobbidy Freakonomics and war policy, dichotomy That's Heaven and Hades, Tigris and Euphrates His highness, the apple of the Iris to you ladies As babies, we went from Similac and Enfamil To the internet and Fentanyl When all consent was still against the will I got that detox for y'all The microphone doctor, black Deepak Chopra I'm a griot that make you wanna peacock your arm Every heavy dignitary paying me top, regards Boy, I'm three optics far from your binoculars So, that smart money finna get the heat out the car Yo, I'm K-Dot Lamar meets 2Pac Shakur Got profiled by a few cops, too hot to charge Listen, somebody said a price tag was on a rapper's head So we gon' see a nice bag when the rapper dead The mask black, the flag green, black, and red They'll probably wave a white flag after plasma shed No doubt, yo, the game went they own route I can't explain what these lame kids is talkin' 'bout Or how they fit they whole foot into they own mouth I put a couple bodies in a brown bag, then I'm on route I'm sneaker shoppin' with my son, a size 8 Prior to they release, 'cause why wait? Look, in my estate I got electrified gates For these blasé guys hating at a high rate 'Cause I dodged fate then got great, the fly's straight If we ain't family or friends, then we don't vibrate And I'm that gun in y'all face, none of y'all safe If I catch you at the right time in the wrong place, slippin' Sippin' on something with a strong taste Like Whiskey or bootleg Bourbon with a corn base My Levante resemble a vehicular threat The mic I spray, resemblin' the sickle of death It ain't strenuous to come from a continuous breath I set fire to the venue, I'ma spin you and step Rinse, repeat You checkin' for the sound of the beast I'm the hound, I'ma creep, I get down, I'ma eat I'ma keep somethin' to lay a naysayer to sleep Playin' with heat, nobody and nothin' fucking with 'Riq Yo, these weaklings is claiming they cutting up in the street Nigga, peace, you ain't working with nothin' but the police Listen, you ain't finna be nothing but the deceased Listen, you in a tournament with a permanent crease I strike fear in the hearts of rap figures Who mind bare the stigmas of time, no black privilege From boom bap niggas to trap niggas You in the trap with us, when the lines is as Vivid as the walls on the graph Autographed by the Lord of Wrath I reside between the seconds on the chronograph How much more CB4 can we afford? It's like a Shariah Law on "My Cherie Amour" How much hypocrisy can people possibly endure? But ain't nobody working on a cure, my young boul Y'all just regular, I'm a' apex predator Brim stay fresh, feathered up, etcetera Nevertheless, I got a message and left One dead messenger, yep My pen is Henry Kissinger, Buzz Bissinger Look, my caporegime is to no redeem And my oldest son Ahmir Saleem out of New Orleans Took a golf cart to the Baccarat from the Waldorf What was on the wall? That depend on what you call art I'ma say 300k ain't even in the ballpark I charge more just for awkward small talk So yes, who's fucking with it if it's not the best? I get the lobby painted fresh upon my request It's Kafka-esque, His Holiness, stop the press That Cobalt blue, reminiscent of Makkaresh Lord, we got Padma Lakshmi for you Let her massage your back with black seed oil The foundation is firm, the flags need soil Me? I need Royal Tea because I bleed royal Go through the vein to the brain, fabulous and strange My journalistic range is a catalyst for change It got anybody that listen pissin' flame And 'cause the Hall of Fame got so many missing names I'll acknowledge the original People's not Oliver Y'all will get the next challenger for Excalibur I'm more policed for my core beliefs They tried to capture me and brand me on the cheek With a fleur-de-lis The side of my heart'll be more discreet I'm international, my passport page is like War and Peace I've always played my part from the start Back in Philly where the triggers is mandatory to spark With a slightest inflammatory remark I have you enter living a category apart Listen, a grain of salt'll tip the scales, it never fails Walk on egg shells, sleep on a bed of nails Criminal records like record sales Making heads or tails We like Henrietta Lacks up in the cells My mother was a working class, very loving woman Who struggled, every dinner could've been the last supper I come home, chasing good-for-nothing half-cousins And then walk in the crib to the smell of crack cooking She was introduced to that substance abuse On some of the strongest drugs that the government produced Look, I even got excused by the principal My story is out of the dub dub interview I've seen some ice cold summers, hot winters too I never thought I'd win Grammy Awards with The Roots I never thought I would be getting long in the tooth My OGs told me, ''Boy you better go and live your truth'' I am a walking affirmation, that imagination And focus and patience gets you closer to your aspiration And just 'cause they give you shit don't mean you have to take it My words capture greatness, sworn affidavits Yours truly, the celestial being You stay seeing pulling up in the fresh European High-stepping out of it, dressed to a T And not another got more soul, 'less you Korean I’ve been having visions of Nat Turner holding his master’s head Like Yorick and Horatio in Hamlet Smacking it like a tennis racket, underhanded Send a message through the Gram: ''The Eagle has landed'' Dressed in a military jacket made of canvas I am no gorilla, I just make 'em go bananas Outstanding, red, black, and green bandanas Cocked hammers, hairs on my chin is outstandin' Can't manage the weight of war, they're just out ballin' Look, I'll fall up from the sky to see my calling I'm not crawling, I'm a free man like Morgan Seeing manhood in the hood is a damn good bargain If a black man don't tap dance And every girl that got a fat booty don't lapdance Well, I guess it's somethin' wrong, huh? Niggas completely uninformed I don't burn bridges, yo, I keep the haters' runnin' for em' I ain't one of y'all peers, I'm the sum of all fears Somebody stronger than me? Who that? I'm all ears Like Obama, I wish he had another four years Y'all some jolly good Hollywood Squares I'm like, ahem, approach the altar with your offering I spoil rappers rotten like my only offspring Being His Excellency gets to be exhausting You in the residency of the one they call King Dada, Ali Baba, the talented Mr. Trotter Inside of my right palm, the mark of the stigmata Big Poppa, wig chopper, emperor Jaffe Joffer, mufucka' I'm stronger than the coffee out in Kafa All y'all niggas vagina hop, remind me of Icona Pop I step in the booth, I'm a bull inside a China shop, mollywhoppin' Watch another cotton pickin' body drop Every time we rock, yo, they acting like it's Mardi Gras 'Til the party stop, skirt off like she that Ferrari drop Soul Cycle pumping that Earth, Wind and Fire ba-di-ah Coolin' 'pon the dock, à la marina, hard body yacht You seen another rapper cleaner, mami? Probably not How it feel to be the best that did it, I admit it I'm visiting from planet Bring-These-Niggas-Death-In-Minutes And y'all know I'm exquisite, wicked as Wilson Pickett The sickness I exhibit, I'm too legit to quit it I don't fake it 'til I make it, I take it to the limit and break it Never timid, what I'm about, I represent it Infinite just like Chace is, been a million places Conversation is how beautiful my face is People hated on how sophisticated my taste is Then I pulled up on these mothafuckas in a spaceship Panther mind, I'm made of elements you can't combine I'm at a level of intelligence you can't define Einstein, Shakespeare, Voltaire, Tesla Recording artist slash psychology professor I preach for the East, never fold under pressure The beast from the East and I glide like Clyde Drexler Ay, yo, my new name is eighty five X's 'Cause I'm the rap game certified specialist When I was reckless I was worried 'bout the guest list I'm helping rappers everywhere fulfill a death wish Yo Flex, I'm glad we made contact My nigga also know this shit for Combat Brain matter contain too much data I tell a story like fingerprints and blood splatta' WATCH MORE BELOW https://youtu.be/tiRPlCguqEc

#black thought funk flex freestyle lyrics #black thought #best funk flex freestyle #hot 97 Freestyle

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