#sorry i cant be bothered to do any more dialogue than this

[walrus-death-noises]

#sorry i cant be bothered to do any more dialogue than this #but im sure you can imagine it #mgs #metal gear solid #goncharov #unreality

[ravilson23]

New ep of Helluva Boss just came out and i actually want to talk about that one. I didnt even bother with the third one cause somehow I didnt have any strong feelings about it. Anyway, lets start.

First of course pacing. I was really suprised how fast we got into the main action, it starts literally a minute into the episode. We didnt even get a proper introduction of Andrealphus ( or however his name is written, i will just call him Andre) and its his first offical apperance. Its quite insane honestly. I really think it might have been better to do this in some other episode where plot would be focused on the divorce. It feels like they didnt know how to start this whole assasination businnes.

Also for me he seems... really boring? There isnt anything about him that we havent seen before. I dislike how Stella was portrayed too. She may have gotten a bit dumber than at the beginning, i mean she cares so much about killing Stolas that she isnt even thinking logically. Its a little weird when you consider how loveless their marriage was, it doesnt look like she has strong enough reason to hate him this much.

Another thing, her relationship with Andre seems as normal as it can be in hell. I hoped for some emotional manipulation or other toxic behaviour that may explain why Stella is such a bitch. But hell no, there was nothing super weird about them though it may be because there were shown for like 2-3 minutes in the whole ep. On one hand i am glad he is not ( at least yet) another villain, but still he felt important enough to get a proper introduction.

What also bothered me about pacing was the structure of plot A and B. Especially in the fight scene where they are paralleled. Its not a bad thing per se but it dissolves the tension. It also felt like there was no need for plot B except for keeping Blitz occupied and unable to rescue Stolas.

Now lets talk about characters. First Moxxie, as much as i am glad that he became a badass i cannot help but feel like it should have happened in 3rd ep. Him fighting his dad would be so much more powerful than dealing with three random guys on gus station and fighting Striker with Millie. This change would feel more natural. I am not saying he is weak, but his skills were mostly with guns, not physical violence. But in this ep he suddenly is very capable of that, he is also less anxious and more reliable (which is a good thing, thats the development from ep 6). Despite all that i was still suprised.

Both Blitz and Stolas feel pretty much in character, so i wont talk much about them. I just wanna say that i liked them. I am kinda sorry that i wont sing praises, even though there was some good stuff but there is still much to cover.

So lets talk about Striker. Oh boy, not gonna lie watching him sometimes felt like fever dream. I dont know if its so bad that its hilarious or just hilarious, i really cant say. First his sudden apperance in the middle of a restaurant with a whole crowd of witnesses, than his theme song. THEME SONG. I am crying, its just so ridiculous. Its a pretty cool joke but also so surreal. Like up until now it feels like writers tried to find a reason for adding songs. Be it jingles, intros or full stage performences the songs were always a part of an actual action. However here its more of a montage, and it can be barely counted as sth else thanks to a few lines in a dialogue. As i said, not sure if its genius or just bad. Then we have all the jokes about Strikers ego, its not out of character, but it also feels like he stopped being anything more. At first he was a genuine threat and someone who Blitz could have chose to be. Here he still tries to be, but cant because of all the jokes. The big dick statue went too far for me. Its also becoming too repetitive. However i really liked when he started choking Moxxie, he looked really wild with all the drolling. It made him look feral, which is cool. The harder joke also caught me of guard. Last thing about Striker, he is well animated. It may seem obvious but i feel like its really not, especially not in season two.

I dont have much to say about Millie, Loona and Stella. Really, my only thought is that Stella looks kinda weird in this ep. Her head feels to big, especially when Andre is next her. Fortunetly Loona and Millie look alright.

Short note about worldbuilding, it gets more and more messed up. What at first looked like nice little clues for creating a bigger picture now is more like random stuff mixed together so they can pretend to be whole. Hell looks more and more like a structured society with jails, hospitals, offices and so on and yet it makes it hard to ignore how absolutely insane this idea is. At first hell looked like a total lack of rules, then we got some info that IMP using Grimouir is illegal, then human disguises, lawsuits and even jail which overall makes an impression that there is some law. But what is this, how does it work? No idea whatsoever. Then we have hierarchy with imps being at the very bottom of it. Now it seems like they arent really so different if they can afford places like Asmodeus or restaurants Stella is willing to go to. Blitzo having a bussines was a big deal but nothing really came out of it. Also whats with their sizes?? They can be as big as Loona or small enough to fit in a bag. It gets more and more confusing. I wont even talk about Moxxies dad, an imp being a literal mob boss ( mafia exists in hell???). Its all a right mess.

Another thing thats is a mess is a quality of sound design and sometimes animation. I felt so disconected from fight scene in this episode because music didnt fit at all. The tension that should have been there went and never came back. Though the animation was gorgeous. However its not so pretty in many other moments where anatomy of characters becomes a mere suggestion. Sometimes the problem is in proportions, sometimes in perspective but also how some scenes are connected and how the mood isnt appropriate for the overall action.

But since we are getting to the end of this post, let me tell about some good things. And by that i mean the end scene. Its really good, it made me feel what i have felt while watching first season. It was emotional but in a quiet, honest way. We got some small gesture that was meaningfull in a context. We also got some explanation about what happened after Ozzie (a little too late, but better than never) and in such a way that i can appreciate. I like small clues, that u have to focus on to fully understand whats happening. Its one of the things that got me into Helluva, it was fascinating to use small things to create bigger pictures. I loved that, and i wish there was more of that in this season.

To finish, i think the biggest problem of this season is that it doesnt know how to build up on what was shown before. It got lost with all the characters, dramas and possible plots and in the end lost the core idea that was at the beggining - IMP bussines. Now it rushes into different plot points and mucks up most of them because of that. It also doesnt give us anything new? First ep was a sensation with mixed response, but despite other ones having important moments it never got up anywhere near the excitment that started with 5 ep of season 1. I really miss that feeling but i am losing hope that Helluva will return to its former quality and charm.

If u read all of this, thank u very much. :3

#helluva boss #english is not my native language #helluva disscussion #helluva spoilers #helluva critical

[centi-pedve]

been scouring the regretevator wiki cause i was curious (terrible wiki btw i am so sorry. one page has a citation that just links to some discord bullshit which people who are not in the server obviously cant see) anyways i am getting a terrible impression of the creator(?) and i would be interested in your thoughts on this business if youd be willing to share :3

oh goodness gracious... well we do have Some thoughts and we dunno if they match your own concerns since, we purposefully don't go out looking for whatever the creator has said but yeah even from a distance it's. Not looking good. (Already mentioned some of these before but for the sake of putting it in one place we'll be redundant)

definitely has his own takes on certain characters, headcanons, and the like. it was silly at first but as time went on and the more effort he put into pushing negativity over certain things the less fun it became. we think, if you want people to dislike a character, you try and make them dislikeable within the context of the story and then let people form those opinions. rather than being weird about the fact that there are still people who do like the character and punishing them by denying them the most basic things or even involving them in the story at all because Doesn't Deserve It. yes this is primarily about unple/asant

related but... too much of a reliance on telling stories with twitter or other unofficial platforms. did we learn nothing from the dumbledore is gay tweet. like a huge amount of information on the wiki that is very important to understanding the characters are just is NOT in the game, like if you played the game fully you'd still need to rely on the wiki to be able to participate in fandom. honestly a large part of that is why we're so biased towards certain characters! unple/asant and infe/cted are the only characters with lore and trivia and such that we've bothered to go on the wiki for and memorize. we've played the game for hours and hours but that doesnt mean much lol. once again, unple/asant especially, it literally DOESN'T TALK or participate in ANY of the active dynamic story because Doesn't Deserve It but there's still things to know about unple/asant and people who like the game just want something!! like dunno the overuse of social media in storytelling just makes it so much more unfun, we don't like how information is released and the fact that we need to rely on external material that... is sometimes taken back because the creator has gone on record Just Saying Shit. favorite example vv

Which is really funny considering it has 1 piece of dialogue on the game. So it can physically speak, and is also not "mewing 24/7" by result of having that dialogue (pretty sure the creator was just encouraged to say that without giving a fuck but, whatever). but the things that happen in game are second to the creator's twitter feed AMIRIGHTFELLAS

3. the,. the ableism. we've heard people tried to bring it up with the creator in the past and they were ignored so we feel comfortable mentioning it lol. bi/ve is a stereotype of someone who suffers from paranoia really, we mean we love her but... lol... and we will say it again pe/st should not canonically have npd or aspd. like omggg the evil character that robs people has two pds negatively stereotyped as belonging to evil people we're sure there was no bias in this decision. maybe we'd be less bothered if people didn't treat it as so serious and pretend to be cluster b allies like "you have to give him some understanding cuz he has aspd and npd 🥺" like no because he's evil, also maybe it wouldn't hurt to care about real people with those pds instead of a caricature. also the half-hearted throwing around of the word "mute" for unple/asant has been pointed out as ableist by a lot of people.

tldr uhhh wuhgghh NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK nobody get us (: nobody talk us...

#asks #good morning! (starts bitching

[pillowenvelopchair]

Felt a little silly today, soooooo I might have compiled all of Rogier's dialogue (that is in the game) under the cut

STORMVEIL CASTLE:

(MEETING ROGIER FIRST IN STORMVEIL CASTLE)

“Ah, nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure's mine. Rogier's the name. A sorcerer, as you might have guessed.”

“I'm looking for a little something, here in the castle.”

“When I'm not hot-footing it from the troops, that is.”

“But enough about me, what are you doing here in Stormveil Castle?”

“This place is bristling with Tarnished hunters, you know. They sacrifice our kind, for grafting.”

“Not exactly a place I'd stroll into without a purpose in mind…”

(“I’M HERE TO DEFEAT GODRICK.”)

“I see. Here to challenge Godrick, and lay your hands upon a Great Rune, are you?”

“You can see it then, I take it? The guidance of grace.”

“Well, enjoy it while you can.”

“I'm Tarnished, like you.”

“But unlike you, I've seen neither hide nor hair of this guidance for the longest time.”

“Still, I won't forget how it felt when I first came here, to the Lands Between.”

“I'm privy to a few magical battle arts.”

“Would you care to learn one?”

“As a fellow Tarnished, once guided by grace. I'd love to help you out, if it please.”

( “I CAN’T TELL YOU.”)

“Of course. I understand.”

“Why place trust in a perfect stranger?”

“Be safe, then, stranger.

“Watch you don't get sacrificed, eh. I'll do the same.”

(SPEAKING WITH ROGIER AFTER YOU SAY “I CANT TELL YOU”)

“Oh? Something bothering you?”

“Or are you just trying to pass the time?”

“I'm curious how you ended up inside this castle.”

(SEEING ROGIER AGAIN)

“Oh? Keen to learn another battle art, are we?”

(SEEING ROGIER AGAIN AGAIN)

“Oh hello there, good to see you safe.”

(SEEING ROGIER AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN)

“Stopping by to learn a battle art or two?”

(AFTER LEARNING ROGIER'S BATTLE ARTS)

“The battle art you've learned is of the glintstone family.”

“They were conceived at the great Academy of Raya Lucaria, to the north of this castle.”

“In the past, they obeyed laws which contravened the Golden Order, or so I'm told.”

“Fascinating, isn't it?”

“That the Golden Order was pliable enough to absorb practices that contradicted itself in the past.”

“With the Order broken, twisted, and in need of repair,”

“Such adaptability is more important now than ever.”

ROUNDTABLE HOLD:

(MEETING ROGIER FIRST IN THE ROUNDTABLE HOLD)

“Pleased to meet you.”

“The name's Rogier. A sorcerer, by trade.”

“But now I'm in this sorry state.”

“I had a little mishap, and now I can't move.”

“As you might guess, it's far from ideal...”

“Ah, I know.”

“I'm privy to a few magical battle arts.”

“Would you care to learn one?”

“Time can move rather slowly, stuck here, you know.”

“A little conversation goes a long way.”

(MEETING ROGIER IN ROUNDTABLE HOLD, AFTER STORMVEIL CASTLE)

“Ah, we meet again after all.”

“I apologise for any offence given by my bearing, but I'm quite unable to move, you see.”

“So. What do you need? ”

(“I’VE DEFEATED GODRICK.”)

“Ah, you defeated Godrick and claimed yourself a Great Rune.”

“Mm, looks like we both got we wanted out of Stormveil, didn't we?”

“Well done, friend.”

“Something to mark the occasion. Go on, take it.”

“As you might've guessed, I still can't move. My fighting days are behind me.”

“No need to be polite, I've no use for it anymore.”

(“ABOUT THE MISSHAPEN CORPSE UNDER STORMVEIL”)

“The misshapen corpse under Stormveil?”

“That is a sacred relic. Of the black knives plot. As that famed night of assassination is known.”

“It happened during the Golden Age of the Erdtree, long before the shattering of the Elden Ring.”

“Someone stole a fragment of the Rune of Death from Maliketh, the Black Blade.”

“And on a bitter night, murdered Godwyn the Golden.”

“That was the first recorded Death of a demigod in all history.”

“And it became the catalyst. Soon, the Elden Ring was smashed, and thus sprang forth the war known as the Shattering.”

“I once wished to become a scholar, you see. I've spent many an hour scouring the archives for knowledge of that fateful plot.”

“The world has grown crooked, and if you intend to put it to rights,”

“You'd better understand what happened to make it this way, mm?”

(GIVE THE BLACK KNIFEPRINT)

“This...is a black knifeprint!”

“I can scarcely believe you managed to get your hands on this!”

“You recall our conversation about the Night of the Black Knives, yes?”

“They say the assassins who carried out the deed were scions of the Eternal City.”

“A group entirely of women, arrayed in armour of silver under cloaks which fooled the eye.”

“The knives they wielded though, were imparted with the power of the Rune of Death through sinister rite.”

“Please, I beg of you, lend me the knifeprint for a time.”

“I'd love nothing more than to tease out its secrets.”

“Though only a fragment, a very specific ritual had to be performed to impart the power of the Rune of Death.”

“Traces of the one who performed the rite are sure to remain in the imprint..”

“Half my body has been suffused with Death. I'm certain it will help me see.”

(TALKING TO ROGIER IN ROUNDTABLE HOLD)

“Always good to see you safe.”

“So. What do you need?”

(TALKING TO ROGIER AGAIN IN ROUNDTABLE HOLD)

“Oh, still need something?”

(“ABOUT D.”)

“Ah, so you've met D.”

“D is an old friend.”

“We found ourselves journeying together for a time, bound by our exploration of Death.”

“But our paths have since diverged. Never again to cross.”

“Though that's hardly an uncommon fate for two friends.”

(SECOND “ABOUT D”)

“D was telling me.”

“That he discovered the mark of the centipede.”

“The centipede is an ancient symbol of the cursemark.”

“As long as whoever finds and uses it is not nefarious by nature,”

“then we may be able to form an alliance.”

“If only I could speak to them in person.”

“And if they were like you, all the better.”

(AFTER ROGIER HAS EXAMINED THE KNIFEPRINT)

“Ahh, hello. I was hoping to see you.”

“My examination is complete. Here's the knifeprint back, with my thanks.”

“Now, I have a fairly good idea who performed the rite upon the blade. The person who orchestrated the Night of the Black Knives.”

“Lunar Princess Ranni. One of the children born to King Consort Radagon and his first wife, Renalla.”

“Demigod and sister to General Radahn and Praetor Rykard.”

“Her's was the name I discovered in the imprint.”

“Truly, you have my thanks.”

“But, if I might be so bold, I would also like to ask something more of you.”

“If Ranni truly is the one who plotted that fateful night,”

“then she should bear the cursemark of Destined Death somewhere upon her flesh.“

“I would like you to procure it for me.“

“And then all will be laid bare. I will have the answers I have sought for so long.”

“Don't fret, it is entirely in accordance with the guidance of grace.”

“If you seek to stand before the Elden Ring and become Elden Lord,”

“The answers you find will surely bolster your chances.”

(RANNI’S WHEREABOUTS)

“I have some idea of Ranni's potential whereabouts.”

“There's a manor to the north of the Academy of Raya Lucaria.”

“It is the familial home of the Carian royals from whom Ranni descends.”

“There's been talk of the old royals' vassals gathering there in recent years.”

“Ranni's whereabouts since the Shattering are a well-kept secret. She hasn't been seen even once.”

“But I suspect she might have returned to the manor in which she was born…”

“If Lunar Princess Ranni truly is the one who plotted that fateful night,”

“then she should bear the cursemark of Destined Death somewhere upon her flesh.”

“Would you be willing to procure it for me?”

“She may have returned to the manor that is her home.”

“The Royal Carian residence to the north of the Academy of Raya Lucaria.

(“WHY DO YOU WANT A CURSEMARK”)

“I'm afraid there's something I must tell you.”

“Do you know of Those Who Live in Death?”

“The very notion of life in death defies the Golden Order.”

“By D's account, these defiled fiends must be expunged.”

“But truth be told, I seek the cursemark to save them.”

“You may find this peculiar,”

“but I discovered something in my examination of the Night of the Black Knives.”

“These souls have committed no offence. They have every right to life, only, they happened to touch upon a flaw in the Order.”

(AFTER ROGIER TELLS YOU HIS INTENTIONS: “ABOUT D”)

“Yes, indeed.”

“If D knew what drives me now,”

“he would surely boil over with rage.”

“Or perhaps, he would even feel some pity.”

“But no need to fret, none of that will come to pass.”

“I can tell a good lie when I need to.”

“And...that thing is to blame for the shape I'm in now…”

“I urge the utmost caution. Don't disturb the corpse more than necessary…”

(TALKING TO ROGIER AGAIN IN THE ROUNDTABLE HOLD)

“Oh? Forgot something, did you?”

“Alright there. Good to see you safe.”

(“RANNI CAST OFF HER CURSEMARK”)

“I see…”

“When Ranni shed her flesh, she shed the cursemark, too.”

“You know, not everyone would trust such a tale...”

“But, if she in her current form is nothing more than the living doll you profess...”

“Then perhaps it's true after all.”

“Hmm.”

“Forgive the bluntness of the notion, but...”

“How would you like to become one of Ranni's vassals?”

“Ah, only in order to get what we want, of course.”

“The location of the body which bore the cursemark, which right now I haven't the faintest.”

“And the best way to find out is for you to enter her service and take a poke around on the sly.”

“I know you've got what it takes.”

“Not only are you a superb fighter, but people want to trust you. I've seen it.”

(ROGIER’S PROPOSITION)

“Can you become Ranni's vassal to advance our agenda?”

“While in her service, you'll be able to take a poke around on the sly.”

“And determine the location of her original body that bears the cursemark.”

“I realise that I'm asking you to put yourself in grave danger.”

“But I know you've got what it takes. Quite possibly the only one, in fact.”

“Not only are you a superb fighter, but people want to trust you. I've seen it.”

(AFTER BECOMING RANNI’S VASSAL)

“Hmm. Maybe I should tell you.”

“Lately, I feel I'm on the precipice…”

“Of falling into a deep...fathomless slumber.”

“And I have an inkling it could spell trouble for you, somehow.”

“So I just wanted to get the apology out of the way, beforehand.”

“Since you're so scary and all.”

#feel free to use this in your analysis or in your fics or like in anything really #im just a little crazy for this little guy #maybe I'll do this with other characters but who knows #if someone asks me I'll think about it #rogier #sorcerer rogier #elden ring #dialogue text #dialogue references #envelop extractions #dont worry about his cut dialogue cuz I’ll be putting it in another post :•]

[gayaristocrat]

My beautiful Husband

Pairing: Chris Evans x Male Reader

‼Author’s Note‼: I hope you all enjoy this😅 Also I didn't proofread this. If there are any spelling mistakes or errors, please let me know so I can fix it

Summary: Chris' husband wanted nothing more than to cater to to him and show him how much he loved him. But what happens when Chris says something to his husband that he'll deeply regret saying?

Rating: Angst to Fluff

Request: Can i request Chris Evans Angst/Fluff X male reader, so Chris and Male reader have a fight and chris said something that he shouldn't said to reader, and when reader heard it, he's shocked and just run to bedroom and lock the door, amd after realizing what he said chris went to reader and try to say his sorry and keep trying until reader want to talk him or forgive him. Also have a great day 💙

Tags: @evansphnx12

Word Count: 1,740

Word Key:

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You and Chris always hated arguing with each other, so you both tried your best to avoid it as much as possible

But sometimes, like any normal couple, things just happened that just made you two fight

This fight, for instance was all because you decided to show up on the set that Chris was at when he was filming for an upcoming movie

Usually it would always make him super happy, but this time, it didn't

You really wanted to surprise him this week at work by bringing him small gifts and snacks when you visited

When he comes home, he is obviously dead tired and wants nothing more than to sleep the rest of the day, leaving you all alone and cuddling with Dodger

Unbeknownst to you, this particular week had been a very rough week, and every time you showed up, it didn't seem to make things better

When Chris got home, you ran straight up to him with Dodger following close behind, and engulfed him in a tight hug only to be shoved off

"Jesus fucking Christ (M/n), cant you just leave me alone when I come home for once?"

"B..but Chris, I'm sorry. I just thou-"

"I honestly don't give a shit what you thought. God man, you're so fucking annoying, just shut up and leave me alone. Fuck! All I wan to do is just come home and lay down without you following me around and bothering me like you're some lost fucking puppy! Sometimes I can't fucking stand being married to you"

Chris walked stormed past you before you were able to respond and went to the kitchen with Dodger behind him with no comprehension of the dialogue between you and Chris. ".....I understand...I'm sorry for bothering you." You quickly ran to the bedroom and locked the door behind you, and finally you let your tears spill. Did he really mean what he said to you? Did he really get tired of being with you? All of these thoughts going through your head made you cry harder, your breath was stuttering in an uneven pace as you fell onto the bed which only made you cry harder. After a while, you could hear footsteps approaching the room and stopping in front of the door. The doorknob twists a little before it was stopped by the lock. On the other side of the door, you heard a deep sigh before a knock on the door. "Baby, please open the door. I'm...i'm so sorry for saying those horrible things to you. Please...please just let me in" You sat in silence for what felt like forever, cuddling your pillow closer to you, pushing your face in it in an attempt to silence your cries. Chris eventually got the hint and let out another sigh, muttering another 'i'm sorry' before walking away to go sleep on the couch. You didn't know what else to do besides cry yourself to sleep that night. You thought you were a very good husband to Chris, and did everything right, but it seems like you were wrong.

The next day, you woke up and felt the bed to cuddle close to Chris, but when you felt the bed for him, it was cold and empty. Suddenly you remembered what happened the other day. The things Chris said to you, it really hurt you. You lay in the bed for a couple of hours and scrolled though your phone to take your mind off of things, until you decided to get up and doing your morning routine. You made your bed, used the bathroom, took a shower, and washed your face. You didn't have much energy to brush your teeth, so you grabbed one of your toothpaste tablets, chewed it, and then grabbed your toothbrush and gently brushed your teeth. The whole time you couldn't help but replay for the second time this morning everything Chris said to you yesterday. You pushed his voice aside and spit out the toothpaste and rinsed out your mouth, then you spit out the water and turned of the water faucet. Using your bath towel next to you and wiped your mouth dry and made your way out of the bathroom. Not bothering to get dressed, you unlocked the bedroom door and slowly opened it, cringing at the echoing squeak the hinges let out into the hallway, taking a mental note to ask Chris to fix that later if things cooled down between the both of you.

You tip-toed into the hallway and made your way to pass the living room, but stopping as you see Chris slumped over the couch. His hair was disheveled, eyebrows furrowed, face stained with dry white tear marks that ran down his face along with drool. His mouth was wide open and he was lightly snoring, you looked down and saw about six empty beer bottles on the floor below him, he looked like a complete mess.

The sound of thumping started towards your direction and you felt rough paw pads gently push your leg and a whine which made you draw your attention down to it. Looking down, you saw it was Dodger. He began walking away and looking back at you every so often to make sure you were following him into the kitchen. When you made it there, you were careful as to make sure to not wake Chris up from his sleep, poor baby, you really hoped he enjoyed his sleep. Dodger dragged you over to his food bowl and sat down next to it and patiently waited for you to serve him his food and water. "Your such a good boy Dodger, yes you are." You say, he starts eating his food and you give him a little rub on his back, making his tail swing back and forth from enjoying your praise and attention. Walking towards the refrigerator, you wondered what you were going to make yourself. Eventually, you make your decision on (f/b/f), and grab those ingredients needed. As you are cooking, you start humming to yourself a happy little tune, completely forgetting about what happened the other day. Without warning, you feel two muscular arms gradually wrap around your waist and you then are pulled into a strong hard chest. "I'm so fucking sorry baby." Chris says as he lays his head in the crook of your neck, the stubble on his face was scratching against your skin. "(M/n), please...please forgive me." He says in between kisses, "I was a fucking idiot to say all of those nasty things to you, and I'm so sorry."

You took the pan of food off of the burner and set it aside before turning around with his arms still around you. You looked into his eyes, shocked at his state of being. Chris looked horrible, and the change in his looks happened to quickly overnight. His eyes were baggy with dark circles, his hair sticking in every direction, his eyes were bloodshot red as tears pored out of them. Chris dropped to his knees and started sobbing and hugged your leg closer to him. In all the years you were his boyfriend, and even when you became his husband, you have never seen Chris so broken down like this before. You've never seem him on his knees, begging for your forgiveness. Chris cried as though your marriage was hanging on a single thread, he felt like this was his last chance to make things right, and he would do anything for you to forgive him. He screwed up...no...he majorly fucked up, and he wanted to make things right. You kneeled down to his height and held him into your arms as he cried even harder at how gentle you were being with him. "H-how can yo-you s-still love me (M/n)...a-after how I treated you?" He questioned

"Chris, you are my husband. What you said to me yesterday was really messed up, and it hurt me a lot. But I see that you're telling the truth when you apologize, so I do forgive you. Plus I know that you will find some way to make it up to me. I love you and I will never stop loving you. Now, lets go lay on the couch and eat some of the food I made us."

Chris hugged you tighter and nodded into your shoulder before getting up and making his way to the couch. He knew he would have to do some serious work to fix things one hundred percent, but he was willing to do anything, not matter how long it took. You both reached the couch and sat down, sitting close to each other with Dodger next to you. After eating, you both put the dishes in the sink to wash them later, and cuddled tightly together and shared a blanked while watching tv. Soon after you ended up falling asleep in Chris' arms and he kissed your forehead, missing moments like these. He hated sleeping on the couch without you in his arms. He hated sleeping without you next to him at all. He couldn't stand hearing you cry upstairs in the room by yourself because of him. But, now, he was glad you were here, that you stayed with him. You both loved each other dearly, and nothing would change that. You both were now able to sleep in peach, and you both liked it that way. "I love you baby, and I love being married to you, my beautiful husband."

Let's just say the Chris now looks forward to you being the first one to greet him when he gets home, and he loves when you surprise him at work. Especially when you bring food you cooked for him to eat when he's on his lunch break. Chris always tells you how he loves seeing the jealous faces of the other actors and the tech crew when they see the delicious food you cooked for him.

Production Crew Member: "Bro, Chris you have an amazing husband man!"

Chris: "Yep, I know, and he's all mine too"

Production Crew Member: "Yeah...so uhhh...do you think (M/n) could cook me some of that food too PLEASE!!!🥺I'm so fucking hungry and I'm tired of eating the nasty stale food they give us. Your husband's cooking smells so god damn good!😭"

Chris: "Nope, sorry dude. No can do man, his delicious food is only for me and my tummy😊"

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#chris evans x male reader #chris evans x male #chris evans #chris #evans #male reader #x male reader #male #chris x male reader angst #chris evans x male reader angst #chris x male reader #evans x male reader #angst male reader #angst #mlm #chris evans mlm #mlm male reader #mlm reader #mlm chris #evans mlm #mlm evans #chris mlm #male mlm #male mlm reader #chris evans angst #angst male #chris evans fanfiction #gay chris evans fanfiction #gay chris evans fic #chris evans fanfic

[antiloreolympus]

7 Anti LO Asks

1. Do you know what really gets my blood boiling about this comic? Persephone and Demeter's relationship.

In the myths, Demeter and Persephone loved each other more than anything. Their reunion is so important - it marked the coming of spring and growth. A whole cult was dedicated to this for crying out loud. Yes, the myths were far from perfect, but the Persephone and Demeter myth showed the strength of a loving mother-daughter relationship with Demeter searching endlessly to find her child that was ripped away and had her innocence forcibly taken.

Now, RS is not the only author to make Demeter this over-bearing mother type in order to put more positivity onto the Hades-Persephone relationship. However, RS takes this trend to a whole new level - to the point where I would even consider it misogyny.

How is it, she takes this beautiful mother-daughter relationship and makes it out to be an abusive and controlling one, and then takes the Hades-Persephone relationship from a forceful one to a loving, perfect relationship with no problems? How is it ok to ruin one relationship to elevate another?

I understand that many versions of the myth try to downplay Hades' actions, and even make it so Persephone actually falls in love with him and there is no rape. But it doesn't change that this relationship was problematic, and meant to represent the loss of innocence.

Then fans have the gall to claim this comic is feminist and then claim on top of that that Demeter and Persephone's relationship was the same in the myth? These fans clearly don't know the myths, and neither does RS.

Making Hades a good person is fine. Changing it up a bit to make Persephone's loss of innocence something else is also fine. But ruining Demeter and Persephone's relationship? Especially when Persephone has to spend half the year with her? So horrible. 

2. im sorry, but rachel cant introduce KRONOS coming back and then dropping it for several episodes to focus on a stake-less trail and persephone not knowing what lingerie to seduce hades in. like thats too much of an earth shaking development and huge stake plot point to just ignore for months to focus instead on something as minor as hxp's relationship, which only points out a huge flaw: why is hxp's relationship so minor in this? isnt the whole point supposed to be about them?

3. I think LO completely dropped the ball over Hades’ characterization. 

From the first ep I thought ok, this is good, we have some bones to see he’s not that lucky in love and is just tired and lonely, and while ignoring the creepy actions towards Persephone, I thought ok, Artemis hates him, Hestia hates, even Ares hates him, maybe once Persephone finally sees the underworld and probably gets to know him it’ll be a clever twist and they’ll be proven wrong. The underworld will turn out to be fair and just, the citizens will love Hades, he’ll be revealed to be a good leader and king and not like his brothers, it’ll be like everyone saying Hades of myth isn’t actually that bad, and it’ll help reinforce why this sweet and bubbly Persephone wants him, she sees the real him, not the mean rumors and assumptions, this is perfect.

And then it just didn’t happen. The exact opposite happened, actually.

We’re shown the LO underworld is cruel and unjust, where the poor dead are forced into slavery and Hades created a harsh class divide with him and him only on top, the citizens hate him, the underworld gods don’t trust him and openly seem ok if he’s taken out of power, he’s not a good leader and king and doesn’t even want the job yet keeps it for his own ego and grip of power m, and on top of it all he is just like his brothers, if not worse. He loves to get violent over any little slight against him, he hoards wealth and resources to enrich himself while his citizens starve and struggle to survive, he’s corrupt, he controls all the media and laws to bend to his will, sleeps with his brothers wife for centuries behind his back while claiming to be holier than thou, he has sex with his secretaries who are made dependent on him for any way to survive, and now he lusts after his barely legal intern who is also now dependent on him for her way to survive, and that’s only what I remember off the top of my head.

LO perfectly set up to prove Hades isn’t the devil or the false pop culture assumption that he’s evil and to show some actual facts from myth, and yet Rachel only ended up reinforcing exactly that and even making him even worse with her made up ideas, all while thinking having Persephone ignore or excuse it somehow makes it not bad or even a good thing. It’s honestly kind of impressive just how bad of writing that actually is. 

4. Chapter 172 is not that interesting. It’s setup had me excited to see Hephaestus and Hera and learning more about echo, but it’s cut so short. Because again the story can’t leave HXP out for 2 seconds.

I can also see why Zeus is gonna go insane. 

5. i agree w/ other anon. LO should have pulled a PJO or a BoZ and just made up OCs and have them interact with the gods than whatever Rachel thinks shes doing, which is lying she's being accurate and faithful while completely changing all of it, removing what is needed, and adding what isnt so that it lines up with no actual myth besides like, various 50 shades fanfic she read in 2015 and some popular tumblr text posts.

6 . the animation studio behind blood of zeus literally can only draw one face for the men and one face for the women and they were still able to make the gods all look distinct and hot while LO can't even bother to use more than 6 colors and can only have the women look as tiny as possible with the biggest boobs while the men are all just lego men.

7. ////FP SPOILERS////

Okay so like I stopped reading LO way back before season 1 ended, and a majority of my knowledge of the series comes from what I read here on your blog which is enough for me lol and I decided to read the latest 5 chapters just to see what's up (on zahard. I refuse to give the actual series any views)

And I just. Could not take the whole scene with Daphne running from Apollo seriously? The anatomy and art inconsistency was so distracting that i genuinely could not find it serious. Even when Thanatos discovers her hibernated body I couldn't take it seriously because of how she looked?

And when Hades had that call (??? Was it a call? Or his inner dialogue? I couldn't really tell ngl) with Zeus and said he's causing Persephone unnecessary distress, and that she didn't pose any threat. B!tch??? She killed a ton of mortals??? She has no control over her powers???? She's literally a fugitive for the aforementioned things??? She apparently woke Kronos up? (Idk if anyone knows about that, again my knowledge only spans to whatever I read here) Hello????

And I have a lot to say about the chapters starting the trial but I'll only mention one thing; Hades saying "I don't think blindly supporting my little brother would be doing him any favours (as a ruler)" had me cackling. This is coming from a guy blindly supporting a girl he's literally only known for a few weeks, who's like what, only recently turned 20? Sit tf down Hades you're not cool, you creepy ass overgrown smurf.

Overall I still hate this series lmao. Regarding art though I feel like I wouldn't be so miffed about the anatomy much if the character designs were consistent and the story was compelling. They literally change hairstyles and body types frame by frame, and it's distracting.

The timeline from what I read here is laughable. 4 years in publication with almost 200 chapters and you're telling me only like a month has passed canonically. That's wild and such poor writing.

And as someone who literally will sympathise with any lead character pretty quickly, the story makes me hate them. It makes me want to root against them. I also hate the fact this trash is somehow top ranked on webtoons when so many other stories are far better then it.

Anyway, many thanks to this blog for existing and allowing me to dump so much text here to vent out my hate for this series lmao. You the mvp fam, hope you're having a good day 🥂🥂🥂

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

[romangodfreyswifee]

What about “Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen.” with JPM (with reader saying it to him) because I know that man cannot cook for shit! thanks xx

- this is a little canon because imma make the bar a bit like a kitchen as well lol

-this is my first time writing a prompt and i dont really know how to incorporate dialogue very well-

- im still answering i just need time to think of some ideas- this one took me 2 hours or so so i hope you like it <3

In the decades that the ghost James Patrick March had been haunting the Cortez he had grown used to being used by various women, often getting affiliated with them and left heartbroken by all so when you came around and showed him that there was somebody who could see past his money and material possessions it wasnt hard for him to quickly fall in love with you.

You loved him as well even after finding out that he was a ghost.  The fact that James was a ghost never bothered you, after all growing up in the environment you did in the murder house, befriending a kind but quiet ghost like Violet did take away any shock value from him revealing this to you when he finally proposed.

You moved out of the murder house long ago and found your way to the cortez only planning to stay for a 2 week trip now somehow a few months later being wedded to a 150 year old ghost in the golden great front hall of the hotel cortez.

James being your husband didnt make you expect anything more from him other than his loyalty and love because being the independent woman you are you didnt depend on him for anything, finding comfort in it and giving you a sense of control over all aspects of your life.  Although being extremely proud of you this heightened his insecurities from his previous relationships, feeling like he was no use to you past his money even if he knew you just loved him for who he was not what he had he worried you would leave him unless he could be responsible for at least a small aspect of your life and he was determined to do even the most insignificant of things for you in order to prove this to you.

//

You awoke to the sun shone directly into your eyes and rolled over to an empty bed (not something you usually roll over to) wondering where your husband had wandered off to you quickly dressed yourself and made your way downstairs

As you reached the bottom of the stairs the smell of smoke gradually got stronger and stronger as the well as the cloud fumes. A loud boom coming from the direction of the bar-kitchen made you jump. More smoke billowed out of there and you wasted no time quickly running to see what the commotion was all about, covering your mouth and coughing from the smoke that had made its into you nostrils and lungs practically strangling you. As you ushered away the heavy smoke shrouding the area away with a few waves of your hand, things started coming into view and you were met by your husband with his head resting in the crook of his arm as he violently coughed into it. He was covered with streaks of soot and what looked like batter all over his face. He gave a nervous laugh that was followed by another cough as he turned around and met your confused and frightened face.

“Goodmorning, my love” he said rather sheepishly

“James, what in fucks name are you up to?” you asked albeit harshly

“I thought it would be nice to switch things up a little dear, and make you a nice breakfast for a change”

Your hard expression faltered as you heard him say that and a smile started to creep up on your face “James” throwing back your head and chuckling slightly “you know you dont cook- just-” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose “Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen” as you gestured for him to make way so you can step into the kitchen. He moved aside as you pushed past him and started cleaning.

“Im really sorry Y/N, I didnt mean for this to happen its just-” he stood silent for a moment trying to find the perfect words to say “I cant help but feel like there isnt much I can do for you and this was the only thing I could think of and I-” his hands dropping to his sides as he finished.

You dropped the soot covered rag you were holding with a loud plop and turned around to meet his saddened expression. You cupped his face in your hands a lowered his face down to yours. “What do you mean there isnt much you do for me?” you asked with a mix of confusion and worriedness “What or who would lead you to believe something as stupid as that my love?”

He let out a hefty sigh and continued. “Nothing and nobody but myself” he admitted. “Sometimes I just feel like I am not good enough for you. Youre so perfect and I love you so much Y/N, the thought of you leaving scares me greatly, but i fear you may some days because I feel like im not enough for you-”

“darling” you said cutting his rambling short. “There is nobody more perfect for me than you, you are enough for me and youll never have to worry about me leaving you. “Ill be here, always.” You finished off bringing his forehead to rest against yours.

Your lips met as he reached in for a kiss which you reciprocated. You smiled against his lips as you pulled away. “Now lets clean up this mess”

#james patrick march #ahs hotel #ahs x reader #american horror story

[wokestraightpuffy]

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

#captain puffy #tea speaks #god this is so long the brainrot is concerning ANYWAY #clownon

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Home Sweet Home: Catch ‘Em

Summary- 3.9k Andy Barber x You. You and Andy almost have it all, married and with a jointed family consisting of Andy’s teenage son Jacob, as well as your two younger children John and Cassidy. Looking to add another member, your family is in need of a bigger house, a forever home. You find just the place, 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville Long Island.    Home Sweet Home

Written for @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ Spooky Scary Stories challenge. Divider by @firefly-graphics​

Warnings- Child Endangerment, Hints of Smut (nothing graphic) Swears.

A/N- I chose Amityville Horror for the challenge because its one of my favorite Spook Stories growing up. When reading you will find a lot of similarities to the 2005 Movie, some of the scenarios and dialogue are specifically from that film. Other parts of it are from the book itself. The family name was changed for my own personal reasons. Happy Haunting!  🎃

A/N 2- We’re halfway through! 

Chapter 2 / Masterlist

The family settled and a few weeks later, morning started out normal for the rest of the household , but didn't start that way for Andy. His coughing never seemed to break and he was covered in a light sheen of sweat. You were already up to make breakfast for everyone, and Andy came down the stairs, rubbing at his chest. 

“Coffee Andy?” You ask while holding the coffee pot over his mug but he shook his head. 

“No, I actually came down hoping to find some cough syrup? Or pain medicine? Anything really. We don't have any upstairs.” 

“Oh I tossed out the old stuff. But I will pick some up when I go out today. I told Jacob that I would drop him off at the high school today after I got John on the bus.” 

Just as you were saying this, a stampede of footsteps came down the stairs making Andy wince a bit and all three kids came around the corner into the kitchen. Andy barked out a bit sharply, which even surprised you. “Y’all don’t need to be running on the stairs.” He coughed again and shivered. “Fuck its cold… I'm going down to check on the heater. If you could get that stuff, that would be great.” 

He snapped the door open and disappeared from sight while you were staring after him in surprise. Even all three of the kids seem to be in shock. Jacob just shrugged at his father's weird behavior and went to sit on a stool at the kitchen bar, the other two following him while you set plates with some scrambled eggs on them in front of them. Jacob just took toast nibbling on the edge of it a bit. 

“My phone cant keep any kind of charge whatsoever! I just got this thing to.” Jacob flipped it around to show you, and you saw it was already at 50 percent. You frowned at that, because of course he had one of the better styles of phones. Much better than anything you've ever had. 

“Your charging cord is working and everything?” You question and he nods, slipping it in his pocket. 

“Works just fine. It charges it to one hundred percent, twenty minutes later it is back down to fifty.” 

You shrug at Jacob at a loss and happen to glance at a small clock on the kitchen windowsill. “Shit.” you hiss out and down the last of your coffee. “Come on, time for the bus before we're late. Jake, meet you in the car.” You grab your car keys and open the door to call down to Andy. “I'm taking the kids to school.” 

You heard nothing more than a resounding deep cough and frowned reminding yourself to pick up that cough medicine for Andy on your way home. “Got your backpack John? Alright, lets go.” The whole pack of kids ushered out the door, leaving Andy all alone. 

Andy is pacing downstairs, waiting for the heater to kick on, cursing it out. 

“Spent all this money and the damn thing wont work.” he mutters while pulling the chair from his desk to it to sit in front of it, messing with the buttons on the front till a groaning protest came from the heater, and it clicked on to blast a bit of cool air, and quickly switched to warm. Rolling his chair back to his desk, he pulled out files from the bottom drawer to contact his clients and inform them that he was back in business at his new location. 

He was so tired though, having felt like he was up half the night feeling ill, and within a few moments he simply closed his eyes to rest them, he would use as an excuse to himself. Within moments he nodded off, and the creeping shadow came out of hiding, solidifying in front of his desk. Sharp clicking steps echoed against the cement floor and claws seared when they touched the wood of Andy's desk. It leaned forward to loom over the desk, over Andy whose chin rested against his chest. Forked tongue slithered along Andy's face, making him twitch in his sleep, whispering “Catch ‘em, Kill ‘em” Red eyes watched his victim for a moment, seemingly at peace in this state. It flexed its hands, claws scratching into the wood before giving a hard shake, sending  papers and pens flying, Andy’s laptop skidding across the surface and a picture that you had set on there yesterday crashing loudly to the floor. Cracking the glass into shattering pieces across the floor to glint wickedly. Andy’s eyes sprang open and he tipped forward to grab his shaking desk in surprise to see glowing red eyes and the scream of “Catch ‘em!” 

Then it all stopped, and he shoved back from his desk, pressing his heels to his eyes thinking he was seeing things. “What the fuck, what the fuck.” when he lifted his head, his breathing shaky to look at his desk, it was all normal. His papers were still exactly where he had set them before, his laptop in sleep mode ready to be used, pens all neatly lined up how he liked, and his family looking at him with wide happy smiles and laughs at the beach, the glass shining slightly in the light. 

“Jesus Christ Andy, get it together.” he shivered, cold once more and started coughing again. The door at the top of the stairs opened and your soft footsteps brought you down, Andy glanced up to see you carrying a steaming mug with the string of a tea bag wrapped around the handle and a paper bag that he assumed must have been the med’s he asked for. You reached the bottom and started approaching him, seeing his flushed face, the way he was heavy breathing with the rise of his chest, and you frowned while sitting the mug in front of him. 

“Baby, you don't look so good.” Your hand brushed against the side of his face, and it felt ice cold to him. Jerking out of your touch a bit, he wrapped his hands around the mug and sipped from it, scowling at the taste. 

“Don't talk to me like one of the kids Y/N.” he bit out of nowhere and he could see your face flash in a bit of hurt. “Sorry- sorry… I don't know what's wrong. Just a head cold is all. Are those the med’s?” 

“I got you a bit of everything.” your voice was colder towards him now, turned off from his offhand comment, and you set those down to, Andy knew he had to make it up to you, that was twice in the same morning he had been short, completely out of character for him. His hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you into his lap, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. 

“I’m sorry I have been an ass this morning.” He said, hoping you would ease up a bit. Which you did, he felt you relax on his thigh and your hand lifted to brush through his hair, tilting your head. 

“I know you're not feeling good. Come up soon and lay back down though? I am worried about you.” you confess, and he nods. “I gotta go back up and check on Cassidy.” 

You leave him at his work, and going up the stairs, you leave the door open to let the kitchen's sunshine at least shine down the dark stairs. Maybe it will remind Andy to come back up you think to yourself as you leave the kitchen. 

As soon as you do, the door eases shut, closing him back down in the dark belly of the house. Up the stairs, you walk the long hallway towards Cassidy’s room, gazing along the walls, imagining the photos you wanted to hang along the way when you heard Cassidy’s soft voice seemingly talking to someone. 

“No Jody, I cant. Mommy wouldn't like that, and neither would Andy.” You tilt your head curiously hearing this now, recalling her mentioning someone by that name a few times now since moving in. 

“Well, okay Jody, that doesn't sound too bad. And it is really cool. He took me out on it a few times. Even let me drive it once.” 

You eased her door open to see her standing in the middle of her room, and she jumped when she saw you. 

“Oh mommy! You scared me.” She giggled, and you poked your head around the door to see what she was talking to. Nothing, there was nothing there. 

“Who are you talking to, Babygirl?” You ask, and Cassidy looks once more where she had been talking before answering. 

“Jody, but they are gone now.” she hummed and turned towards her box of toys to dig through it. You come into the room and go to sit on the edge of her bed, watching as she pulled out a few of her dolls and brought out her tea set. 

You wiggle your nose a bit, knowing imaginary friends were not uncommon. You pull up to a stand as she is setting up her dolls around a small table. “Do you want me to have tea with you?” 

“No Mommy, I wanna just play by myself.” She said happily and you lean down to kiss the top of her head. Walking out, Cassidy followed behind you, peeking out to see you heading off to go back down the stairs. 

“Okay Jody, she's gone. You still wanna go down to see the boat?” Cassidy looked over her shoulder to see the closet door easing open on its own. Cassidy giggled, and raced out of her bedroom, one goal in mind. Going to the boathouse. 

You're in the kitchen, unpacking the last few boxes when you hear Cassidy’s feet thumping down the stairs. Luckily Andy is still down in the basement and hopefully can't hear the thumps that seemed to bother him. You were surprised in finding the door, but figured he must have had to shut it if he was talking to a client. Opening it back up to hear Andy was still downstairs, typing away on his laptop now with the clicking noise that worked its way up the stairs. Humming you lift another box on the table and start to unpack the contents. Turning your back from the fridge, you hop up to sit on the edge of the counter so you could fit the dishes together and put them on the upper shelf you couldn't reach. Unnoticed by you, the alphabet letters on the fridge start shifting around, letters coming together to fit together in a couple words. 

When you finish, you hop off the counter and turn back to catch sight of the refrigerator door, your eyes widening at the horrible words spelled on the door. 

Katch ‘em Kill ‘em 

You gasp in shock at them, wondering who would have possibly written that. Thumps on the stairs distracted you half a second and Andy appeared with his mug for a refill. “Andy, did you write that on the fridge?” you say in a slightly accusing voice, and he frowns while glancing at you as he heads to put the kettle on the stove. 

“What are you talking about Y/N?” 

“The magnets on the fridge.” You answer and you both turn to the fridge door to see the letters scattered all over the place, not spelling anything. You scowl in frustration, because you know what you saw and Andy gives you a strange look. 

“What words?” he asks while he's at the sink, filling up the kettle with water and you just shake your head. 

“Nothing, I thought I saw something, but I didn't.” you brush it off, now unsure of what you saw. While you're unwrapping more dishes, you suddenly hear Andy utter. “Oh shit, Cassidy!” and the tin sound of the kettle crashing in the sink while Andy is sprinting to the back door and outside. You drop what you're doing and follow him out, right on his heels as he's running down the wooden deck steps and headed straight for the boat house. “ANDY?” You shout from behind him as he's running full out across the deck. “What's wrong?!” your panicked, unsure what is going on while Andy is trying to wrench the door open. 

“Cassidy, I saw her go in here.” He rushed out as he wrenched on the handle, trying to get it to unclasp. You start pounding on the door now in a frantic way, Cassidy couldn't swim, and the boat house was stretched over the lake, should she slip in, there was a good chance she would drown. Your fear builds as Andy continues trying to get the door open. “What the fuck. CASS! OPEN THE DOOR.” he yells while trying to push it open.

“Oh god Andy, get it open, get it open.” tears start to well up in your eyes as you picture your daughter slipping under the water out of sight. 

Andy growls out and pushes you aside to slam against the door, hoping to wrench it open. “I'm trying Y/N, get out of the way.” 

Your just about to jump in to swim around to the other side of the boat house when the door sprang open and you both race in, looking around the dim interior to see Cassidy standing on the nose of the motor boat just staring out over the lake, you gasp in surprise seeing her like that as Andy made his way carefully along the edge of the deck not to startle her. 

“Cass, Babygirl, look at me.” Andy says softly as he makes his way towards her. Your right behind him. 

“Cassidy, look at Andy.” you whimper out, watching as she gets closer to the edge of the boat, and her gaze was so far away out over the lake, like she never noticed you or Andy trying to get to her.

“Cass!” He says more urgently, and she jumps to look at him, slipping a bit as the boat rocks from her movements. “Take my hand baby.” He stretches his hand out and she shakes her head a bit. 

“I can’t, I gotta go.” Cass say’s with certainty, tilting her head like she was listening to someone else. “Jody want’s to take me to play.” 

“Take his hand Cass!” your panic rushing your voice and Andy stretches out further over the water, his voice turning hard and authoritative. 

“Cassidy I’m not asking again. Take my hand.” When Cassidy heard him this time, she snapped her head to look at him and her eyes grew wide with surprise. She stretched for his hand, her fingers trying to reach for his. Andy is quick to snatch her and pull her off the boat to safety, falling back against the wall from the momentum. You gather your daughter in your arms, giving a sob. 

“Cassidy what were you doing, you could have drowned.” 

Now the girl is caught up in Andy's and yours fear, giving her own sob as tears burst from her eyes while you and Andy rush out of the boat house with her strongly clutched in your arms, stopping just outside as she wails out. “Jody wanted to see the boat Mommy! Jody wanted me to go with them.” 

“Cass, there is no Jody!” your nerves shook so you shout at her in anger and fear, and Andy reaches to take Cassidy from your arms. 

“She's scared Y/N and didn't know any better, yelling isn't going to help.” He turns the little girl in his arms as she sobs into his shoulder, his hand smoothing along her back to calm her down. “Hey Kiddo, it's going to be okay.” He tried calming Cassidy who’s sobs wracked her body in Andy’s arms, and you walked away a bit to take a shuddering inhale. You know he's right, you're just upsetting her more, but your fear outweighed that right now. 

“Just lock that damn door Andy, so this doesn't happen again.” you look back at the door and he nods. 

“I will go pick up a lock at the hardware store, I promise.” He assured you and you nodded, wiping away your tears. Now your daughters crying in Andy’s shoulder upset you, made you feel guilty for yelling at her. You move to press your hand against her back and say her name. She tilts her head to look at you through teary eyes and you try giving her a shaky smile. 

“I’m sorry baby, I didn't mean to yell. You just really scared me and Andy.” 

She gave a sniffle and Andy eased her back so she could wipe her face dry and look at both of them. 

“I’m-i’m sorry. Next time I will ask.” She said, and you nodded. Andy shifted her once more to rest on his hip. 

“Cassidy, the boathouse is dangerous and you know off limits to you and John. If Jody tells you to do something you're not supposed to, what do you tell Jody?” he asked and the little girl lifted her arm to wipe her face again, hiccuping as she tried to catch her breath. 

“I tell Jody no Andy.” she said, his hand still rubbing against her back. 

“That's right, if you're not sure if you're allowed, you come ask Mommy, Me, or Jacob if it's okay.” he smiled at her to reassure her that it was all okay.

She gave a nod and he held up a pinkie finger, which she hooked her finger around and Andy kissed her forehead. “Pinky promise I swear Andy.” 

“Can't break a pinky promise. You know… I think I have some cookies up at the house.” He said, his hand coming up to brush the last tears away with his thumb on her cheeks. “You wanna get a snack before I have to go back to work?” 

Cassidy seemed to consider it. “Oreos?” 

“Of course they are oreos!” Andy winked as you all headed back up to the house. “Best cookie there is, right?” 

Cassidy gave a firm nod, and you let out a relieved breath. Crisis averted. 

Later that afternoon, Andy came back out of the basement just as you were finishing the kitchen, Cassidy coloring at the table while he grabbed his keys. 

“I will go pick up Jacob and stop at the hardware store.” He pecked a kiss on your cheek, and you looked at him. 

“You sure you're feeling up for it?” 

Andy nodded and flashed a smile. “I feel much better Love, those meds kicked in and some fresh air will do me good.” 

You happen to agree since he's been in that basement most of the day, and you wave a goodbye, deciding you should probably figure out what's gonna be for dinner later in the day. “How about tacos tonight Cass?” 

She cheers and  you double check to make sure there was enough ingredients, which there was. No need to send Andy a text to pick up anything. “Come on kiddo, lets go pick John up from the bus stop.” you snap the door shut, bluntly ignoring the letters scattered over the fridge. 

Heading down the driveway, the house groaned, all alone once again. There was a shattering through the kitchen, your finest dishes being flung from the cupboard and against the wall, fine china dust settling in the air as the scattered pieces spread across the linoleum for you to find later. The basement door wrenched open and the yawning darkness going down the stairs turned darker, more ominous. 

When you came back, you stared in shock, stopping both John and Cassidy from going in to save them from stepping on shattered broken shards. “How about you two go on up to your rooms to play while I clean this up?” 

Both children went upstairs, and you grabbed a broom to start sweeping, as you passed the basement door, you slammed it shut in frustration and anger. 

Night fell and you got the kids settled in. Settling in bed yourself to lean against the headboard, massaging your temples while Andy was in the bathroom getting ready for bed.

You were beat after having to help John with his homework and Cassidy suddenly changed her mind and just hated tacos. Andy seemed to be feeling better, helping where he could. Offering to take over the dishes when John called you back to the kitchen table, and afterwards he hugged you from behind, kissing your neck while whispering in your ear that he couldn't wait to put a baby in you before he went back down to the basement to finish up with a few things.  

Thinking back on his idea made you warm up and when Andy came back in the bedroom and stretched out next to you, you looked at him, biting your lip while looking at him.

“You really wanna tonight?” you asked hopeful, since moving your and Andy’s sexual escapades had diminished a bit and you put it all to the stress of moving a whole family to a new house.

“Make you a baby momma? Of course, come on over Pretty Girl.” He reached up to click off the lights and bathe the room in the moonlight when you gently eased into his lap, the two of you starting with gentle affectionate kisses before they turned deeper and needier. Andy's hands slid up and down your back through your tank top, and you would sigh against his lips at how good it felt. Andy chained kisses from your mouth to your jaw and you tilted your head back to let him chain those kisses of his down your neck. He pulled you in closer to feel more of you when his glance lifted to look in the mirror just behind you at the end of the bed. 

At first Andy had no idea what he was actually looking at, a grotesque face appeared above him in the mirror, like it was balancing on the headboard behind him. Crouching in place, its clawed hands dug into the wood, its muscled body flexing as it swayed slightly on the head board. Up to its face, a forked tongue slithered out and red eyes glared at him in the mirror. How could something from a nightmare be here right now? He wasn't asleep, he was just about to make love to his wife. His head jerked back in shock, banging against the headboard with a loud crack as he looked up to see nothing above him. “Fuck!” 

You yanked up in surprise, running your hands down his chest. “Handsome, what's wrong?” your head tilted and you looked where he was staring, feeling his heart starting to race under your hands. 

“You didn't see that?” He grasped your hips, making you go still as you frowned. 

“See what Andy?” his gaze fell back to ours and then back up. 

“There was something there, fuck I saw it in the mirror. I don’t even know what it was. It looked like a- ” He grasped your hips and sat up to look around, your hands grabbing onto the front of his tee shirt in surprise. Looking back to the mirror and then to Andy who was still trying to figure it out. 

“Like what Andy?” You are studying him trying to figure out what he was talking about. 

“Fuck it I know Y/N.” His hold tightened on you a moment, like whatever was going to rip you away while he still looked around the room. 

“Hey hey, Andy.” you cup his face and make him look at you, kissing his forehead and down till you leaned your forehead against his. “It's okay, there is nothing there, I promise.” Your lips brushed against his. His breathing slowly started to settle back down, and your hands rubbed against his shoulders and the back of his neck as he started to sink back against the pillows, rubbing at his face. 

“It was so real though Y/N. These past few weeks, I feel like I'm losing my mind.” 

You tilt your head and brace your hands against his chest. “Stress Andy, we’ve had a lot going on. It will get better, I promise.” 

His blue eyes shined up at yours and softened seeing you looking down at him, his hands going back to tracing your thighs clasped at his sides. “You know I love you right Pretty Girl?” 

You nodded and he twisted you two around till you were underneath him, and tilted your head up to kiss you deeply. “I think I was just about to put a baby in you.” 

You giggled against his lips, wrapping your arms around his neck and whispering. “Yes you were Andy.”

#home sweet home #DinoScaryStories2020 #andy barber x reader #andy barber x you #andy barber au #amber writes #sweater writes #halloween #halloween 2020 #writing challenge #amityville horror

[kitkatopinions]

Is it bad that i want ironwood to be alive in the show and travel with the ace ops and have a redemption? I know most of his fans are happy that he is dead so they cant ruin him anymore but still, his ending is so wrong to me like they redeemed cordo, emerald, FUCKING HAZEL, but not james? I was pulled back into rwby because of james and the atlas arc. v6 last episodes pissed me off so much i didnt even watched the finale to this day but then i saw scenes of james and winter and the ace ops in v7... and now i just want him to swim up from the ruins and be the amazing character he was before v8. His death is so fucking sad to me even with how much they ruined the character... he deserved a redemption arc the most (and better writers, sorry the ask got so long but james ironwood gives me so much feels)

You know, I am right there with you, anon. Here's the thing about James. We didn't see an on screen death and the writers kept his semblance completely unmentioned in volumes seven and eight, but made it public. Yes, Miles Luna said 'rest in pieces' (the total douche) when talking about him in a cameo, but tbh, Miles Luna is sloppy and unprofessional, he could straight up say whatever to try and make the next 'twist' in RWBY surprising.

In fact SPOILER ALERT. I don't remember who, but after Avengers Infinity War when Loki died, people in the project 'confirmed' that Loki was good and truly dead this time, and of course no one believed them and of course no one was surprised to see some version of Loki escape alive in End Game. They had a better ability to twist a not-quite lie out there, due to multiple universes and time travel or whatever (idk the details, I stopped paying attention after I watched and hated Thor Ragnarok.) But still, it stands that if you want to make a character death believable in today's day and age when 'character death' is taken back so regularly and sometimes multiple times per character, writers should A. show the death/show a body (which they didn't do for Ironwood or Watts,) and B. Not leave any character threads hanging.

With Ironwood, they didn't delve into enough emotional responses to things (like Oscar/Oz getting shot off a cliff, or Qrow ever confronting him,) which leaves his story feeling like it lacks a solution and like there's still a lot to be resolved there already. But confirming his semblance outside of the show proper, which seems to act as a form of at least partial mind control, is obviously one giant thread too. Of course, this is MKEK, so the likelihood that they were foolish enough to give Ironwood a semblance that forced his actions at least in part and then not address it, kill him off, and expect everyone to just be happy with that on top of the lack of emotional depth they bothered to give other characters in regards to his 'fall' is high. However, that doesn't make James feel dead, he still doesn't feel like a dead character to me, yet, even if I know a lot of the reasons for that feeling stem from bad writing.

But on top of his semblance being a very big thread that was left untouched, his semblance also would be a very easy out if the writers did want to bring him back or if they wanted to bring him back and redeem him. His semblance could help him survive Atlas and Mantle falling, and it could easily be explained as having pushed him into his acts of villainy. It would still feel like a big ol' retcon (especially with how hard they tried to convince everyone he's pure evil,) but for once, I would like a retcon that actually goes my way in this show. XD

On top of that, you're absolutely right that in the show where Hazel can get 'death equals redemptioned' and tell life lessons to Oscar, Ironwood could be able to be redeemed even without the semblance. In the show where Hazel can beat a child while victim blaming the already-a-victim-of-abuse guy in the kid's head for *checks notes* training young women to be able to fight the soulless monsters who will devour anyone (four to six year old child or not,) and then get redeemed within 24 hours of that... yeah, Ironwood could be able to be redeemed. Emerald can murder Penny, try to kill everyone else at Haven, try to murder Penny again in Atlas, and then join the friend group enough that everyone good naturedly ribs her, including Penny who giggles over Emerald saying 'switched sides' despite the fact that Emerald never once apologized for literally murdering her in cold blood. So yeah, I don't think it'd be off brand of the show to have the 'does bad for good reasons' guy get redeemed even if they did make him express regret that he hadn't tortured children. Clearly, the standard isn't 'if they apologize they're worthy of redemption,' and the standard isn't 'if they only always had good intentions they're worthy of redemption' or 'only kids who are villains can get redeemed,' or even 'so long as they haven't tortured or tried to kill children they're worthy of redemption.'

However, here's where things get a little tricky. Because the standard in RWBY seems to have much more to do with what was done personally against the main group that made them mad or sad, rather than actual moral standings, harm done to the world, intentions, etc. I've talked about that idea in another post, that the show (whether intentionally or otherwise) is treating going against Ruby and her team as worse than actual criminal acts. Emerald's actions are easily brushed aside without her ever admitting she was wrong or trying to apologize, but Ozpin's act of not explicitly trusting Team RWBY with dire secrets months after knowing them is so unquestioningly bad that he has to give an in-depth and very serious apology while explicitly saying he was in the wrong, which the mains then begrudgingly and seriously accept (even though they were laughing with Emerald mere seconds before.) Which isn't to say that I don't think Ozpin had anything to apologize for, just that the framing of Ozpin's dialogue and reception versus Emerald's is ridiculous. Therefore Ironwood being redeemed after wishing he could torture, shooting a child off a high place, and threatening to destroy a town... In the narrative of the show, that can be brushed aside fairly easily. But both the show and the FNDM at large have constructed a narrative where going against the mains is what's treated as hard to come back from and worthy of all the ire and disgust in the world - unless the character comes crawling back, bowing to Ruby's whims in every plan, and regretting ever doubting Ruby's amazing simple soul and the protagonist approved goals she's decided on.

If the price of Ironwood coming back and being redeemed is him kissing up to Ruby and joining the gang of people who just pat her on the back and assure her she doesn't ever need to change or listen to others... I might kindly ask MKEK to keep him dead. Ironwood belongs to his fans now as far as I'm concerned.

They can bring James back, and they even have an easy way to redeem him in their back pocket. But I don't trust them as far as I can throw them, and with the way they've been writing their show, I'd just as soon let James rest.

#rwde #anti rwby #pro james ironwood #pro ironwood #ironwood defense #good ironwood #pro general ironwood #pro IW #IW antis please leave me alone #rwby hate #anti mkek #anti fndm #rwby bashing

[watermelonselfship]

Self Ship Dialogue Prompt #2!

Requested by @abandonedhearts ! The second one is in another post!

Prompt: “I love you, but please stop whatever it is that you’re doing.”

Click. Click click. Click. Click click click.

Raymond looked up from where he was reading, cozy in a pillow pile on the corner of his bed. His first, and irrational, instinct was that he was under attack somehow, but a quick glance around proved that definitely wrong. Barney would have looked up from his spot reading at the desk, his senses more sharp than Raymond's.

Probably someone walking down the hallway, he figured, and went back to reading.

Click. Click. Click click click.

This time, as Raymond's train of thought was interrupted, he didn't look up, instead trying to see if the sound was coming closer or farther down the hallway.

Click. Click. Click.

It wasn't actually moving, Raymond realized, and furrowed his brow. Now he wasn't going to be able to get back to his book at all with this sound driving him crazy. It was going off in sporadic intervals, random rhythms, and not in a large enough frequency for him to pinpoint it right away. Most infuriatingly of all, Barney didn't seem to notice the sound at all.

That's when it, well, clicked. Barney didn't notice the sound because he was making the sound.

"Hey babe," Raymond called, sitting up a bit from his cozy pillow corner. "“I love you, but please stop whatever it is that you’re doing.”

Barney stopped mid-click and looked back at Raymond, confused. "I'm reading?" That's when Raymond noticed the pen in Barney's left hand.

"Yeah babe no, that's fine," Raymond clarified, and pointed at the pen, "You've been clicking that pen the whole time while you were doing it.

Barney looked, a little surprized at the pen in his hand. "Oh huh, my bad." He set the pen down, out of his reach, and went back to reading.

"Thanks babe, I love you!" Raymond chimed, turning back to his book.

That lasted about five minutes.

Tap. Tap tap. Tap. Tap.

Raymond paused, and listened for the sound to repeat itself, then sighed.

"Barn."

"Huh?" Barney asked, turning again.

"Do you know you're tapping?"

"Tapping?"

Raymond sat up, and crawled to the edge of the bed closest to Barney. "Yeah love you're tapping. Do you even notice?"

Barney gave a half hearted shrug. "I mean, I think I kind of did, but I didn't think I was bein' too loud. Sorry." He sounded pretty guilty, and looked a little stress. That worried Raymond, and he took his boyfriend's hand in his.

"Hey, hey what's wrong?"

"It's not that big a deal," Barney tried deflecting, but Raymond's gaze said he was going to push if he didn't elaborate. "I just uh. It feels real bad not to do something with my hands? When I'm reading. I get real stressed out, like I've got an energy stuck in me that I gotta let out. But I don't wanna bother you any, so..." He trailed off.

"So," Raymond began, "You're stimming? If that's the case babe I can help you find something that works for both of us."

Barney tipped his head slightly. "What's stimming?"

Raymond had to blink a few times to process the question. How in the absolute hell had Barney spent all his time with him, Alyx and Gordon and not figured out what stimming was.

"It's like..." Raymond began, trying to find the best words to explain it. "You know how when Alyx has two band-aids on her hands, she'll rub 'em together over and over? Or how Gordon will do that thing where he takes a string in his mouth and pulls it, then like, plucks it like a harp? Or taps his knuckles on the side of his head when frustrated? Or like, you know when I get real excited I flap my hands real fast, sometimes my whole arms?"

Barney nodded, and smiled. "Yeah, it's real cute when you do that."

Raymond stuck his tongue out bashfully for a second, then continued. "It's all types of stimming. It's a sensory-seeking thing, really common in neurodivergent people, but I think neurotypicals do it too? But if you're doing it because it sounds good, or feels nice to do, and it feels real bad if you don't, that's probably stimming."

Barney paused for a second, thinking. "Does ADHD count as neurodivergent?"

"...Yeah, absolutely Barn. Like, one of the big two that people tend to think of when they think about neurodivergency, though they're for SURE not the only ones. The other one's autism- that's me and Gordon, probably Alyx too but I don't know if she's said so or not so I don't wanna assume. I just know that me and Gordon have talked about it before, so I know for sure with him."

Barney nodded slowly, as if some pieces were clicking into place. "Have I ever told you about the time I went to college?"

Raymond also started putting together the pieces, and grinned. "Yeah, you said you suddenly couldn't manage anything going on and had to drop out your second year. Are you about to tell me you got a diagnosis."

Barney laughed, and grinned bashfully. "Yeah, I sure am! I didn't know that was part of the whole deal! They weren't very clear.... An' I never bothered doin' the research because all of it was in these. Impossible to read huge blocks of text with a bunch of technical bullshit, and it always talked about kids?"

Raymond rolled his eyes dramatically, not at Barney but the situation, and nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, a lot of texts like that are really... just inaccessible to the people who need 'em most! It's crazy frustrating, and I don't have the focus problem. God, Barney this legitimately explains so much about you right now, I love you so much."

Barney went red and chuckled softly. "It that noticeable?" He asked, a bit insecure suddenly.

"Only if you know what you're looking for," Raymond admitted. "I sort of have a special interest in mental health stuff, specifically neurodiversity, remember? And I know you real well, and it like... explains so much. I cant believe this never came up before!"

"Well," Barney admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, "I didn't think it mattered any. I was good at my job and I've managed, so why bring it up? Didn't wanna trouble anyone with it..."

Raymond shook his head. "It's not trouble babe, I promise!" he insisted. "Just like Gordon being nonspeaking isn't trouble, any symptoms you've got going aren't going to be any trouble."

Barney shrugged. "Guess I don't know what my symptoms are? It's been so long since I read anything about it, an like I said, it was really too dense for me to work through..."

Raymond nodded. "That's fine babe! Step one, for sure, you stim, and thinking about it I can think of other examples, but the clicking tonight for sure. Step two, what I'll do is see if I've got any books on ADHD, especially in adults, and I'll run through it and help you get some info." He was beaming, doing his slightly excited wiggles at the prospect of helping his boyfriend along with something that related directly to his special interest.

"I'd like that," Barney replied with a smile, then shrugged halfheartedly. "Sorry for bugging you with the stimming thing though."

Raymond shook his head again, emphatically. "No babe! It's not the fact you stim that was bugging me, it was that it was getting distracting for sensory reasons. But that just means I gotta find you like, one of those buttons that you can push but its quiet? But still gives the satisfying give. Like a remote! Or some other way to stim. You shouldn't suppress that sort of thing, yknow? It's normal, and also good for you."

Barney thought for a moment, before marking his place in his book and closing it. "Thanks, Ray," he replied with a grin. "You're so damn good to me."

Raymond stuck his tongue out again and chuckled. "You're good to me first."

"Nah, that's you. Can we cuddle a bit?"

Raymond grinned. "Absolutely, so yes."

Over the next few days, Raymond found Barney starting to cautiously stim more openly, and while he didn't directly address it, he could tell that Gordon and Alyx were excited by the prospect in turn. The group took turns showing their favorite sensory seeking behavior, and gradually Barney settled into a comfortable routine of a few core stims, even if he didn't always display them as publically as the rest.

After a while, Raymond started falling asleep to a soft click click click.

#self ship ask game #self ship writing #canon x oc #writing promt #my writing #Good Books Good Beer #a little long I think and dialogue heavy but MAN #it is time for that good neurodivergent heacanons in MY fucking chilis

[a-trying-writer]

cap stuff, because i want some happy juice that im happy to make for myself.

as i often wrote before, cap loves to pet kosch, but she also loves physical attention herself. no one knows why, not even herself, but she enjoys it. sometimes she purrs or sighs and/or sleeps on the person petting her. racter does this often to get her to stop having anxiety for a time, much to duncans chagrin.

cap is definitely a big eater, but she doesnt have an iron stomach like gobbet. still, the two do challenge each other over meals, and sometimes tries to pick each others meals, like uneaten fries or wings. more often than not, this leaves to a utensil fight, from chopsticks to forks and spoons. more often than not, no one wins, because they had spilled their meals.

cap enjoys challenging is0 in the matrix, even tho she knows that is0 is a master compared to her. she is kinda envious that is0 has huge servers in her room to do whatever she can, while cap has to rely on outdated software that she does try to tune up, despite the risks of it breaking. cap’s computer is also just a brick, but its still p useful. is0 doesnt mind helping her update it, tho some of the pieces dont fit the casing of the computer, so they have to do some further digging.

cap sucks at writing haikus, but she enjoys listening to gaichu recite them and japanese poems and books. tho she doesnt speak the language, she learns about some phrases and how they are valued in his culture. on a different note, being aware that he needs to eat people to sustain himself, she does feel very uncomfortable by it, due to her childhood trauma as the game states for seattle, which applies to her, but she does sometimes help hunt down the worst kind of people for him. otherwise, she minds her own business and stays away from that.

being siblings, cap and duncan are p cool with each other, sometimes getting into fist fights to practice, tho she is much smaller and lighter than him, ofc. he still helps her get better, even if she cant get the hang of it properly, buts its only for her to be safe than sorry. they also watch trideo programs together when they are bored, and joke around about it. esp around action flicks and dramas. (cap hates dramas funny enough, so she only watches them with duncan.)

cap enjoys hanging around heoi, to talk to some of the residents, or party in club 88. she is an awful dancer and singer, but its a blast. she also helps reliable matt with his drones by fixing them, thanks to racter teaching her. and while she doesnt approve of him using a chip to keep up a facade, she lets it be as long as it doesnt cause any harm. she also jokes around by calling him “beautiful” in return for all the times he said it to her.

since she is a decker much like is0, cap spends time around max law to scan through his wares, while bantering with him. she tends to forget he is a lot older than she thinks, so she tends to treat him like a younger brother or kid, before remembering that lil fact. they also talk about the journey to the west novels, and various adaptions, like video games, because of his boat that is referenced to the monkey king.

cap is p chill with ka fai family, and as i said before, enjoys partying in the club. tho, sometimes, if she becomes too rowdy, henry picks her up and drags her out where duncan waits for her to bring her back to the dowager empress. duncan is never surprised, but is often disappointed.

on a funny note, cap is frightened by both kindly and bao, so she never dares to enter the mahjong palor. the same could be said with crafty xu, but for a different reason. she adores xu, but the smell of sage gives her migraines and reminds her of her time in prison. otherwise, she does like to take a sneak peek at some of the books xu sends to her, and often talks about gobbet’s particular ways of cooking.

cap finds ambrose the most mysterious, given that what he says about himself, may or may not be entirely true. but at least he helps her and the crew a lot by supplying them with medicine. ofc, since she is sometimes up to shenanigans that leaves her with a few injuries, he is the one she always goes to, or has to go to, no matter how much she tries to assure the crew that she is all right. esp when she gets sick.

on a side note, tho it isnt canon to the game, but in my stories, cap often speaks to lucky strike, because of their relations to racter, and cap’s own past. there are some things lucky keeps secret, esp about bleak, caps old friend that went missing, if not had passed. its also hard for cap to hide that she finds lucky very attractive, but she believes its because some of her mannerisms reminds her of racter. thing is, she always has been attractive to the dangerous ones, much like how she was attracted to some of her exes in the past.

least to say, cap never really had a healthy relationship. but it is what it is, living the kind of life she has.

there are some things about lucky and cap that i might explore in the future, as i feel there is a lot of potential there, esp given her attitude in srd. but i need more dialogue refs of lucky to capture her character for them. im not too big of a fan to get back into srd, but ill be glad to do it for those refs, and other things, so i can get a better idea on how to write her. but this is a huge if.

[maybe ill write some rac/cap/lucky bits, because im starting to ship lucky and ract, but i deeply loathe the love triangle trope. and i never like the idea of cheating relationships, plus, ract did say that leaving their old crew made lucky hate his guts to the point that she was howling for blood. im not one to write unhealthy relationships unless there is a point to it. i also keep thinking its canon for some reason, but racter cant connect with someone like that, tho i do think its entirely possible for him to had slept with a few people, lucky included... hm. i guess it depends on how i feel about it... sometimes, tho, i feel like im obligated to write it too. like, is this what people want? i wont lie, i did touch up on this sort of thing before, but only between lucky and cap, but it was entirely consensual between cap and ract to allow her to spend time with lucky. and cap is something of a saucy individual. im okay with poly/open relationships, only because its the best alt than cheating couples and stupid love triangles... tho, in this case, i assume lucky nor racter connect with people like that. well, i appreciate any thoughts about this, tbh. i know i wrote about it before, this sort of thing, but what are others thoughts on this case? will it be okay for me to leave the relationship just between racter and cap, or put lucky into the picture as well, given their history? or maybe just keep lucky as a side character that is not afraid of speaking her mind to cap, about how things go in heoi and how racter may just leave her like he did before.

honestly speaking, id much rather let racter deal with cap only, instead of getting into something intense with lucky. ive read too many stories about unprompted hate kisses and rebounds, and i want to do something that isnt that. i just worry ill disappoint people... tho i have no reason as to why i do. i just feel that this is something i *have* to do, if that makes sense.

sigh i rambled on for too long. sorry. i just dont want to write any sort of hate s-x based things. it bothers me a lot. idk.]

#i didnt mean to ramble on into that #but i do wonder what do others think about that last bit. #am i allowed to just do what i want? #i never want to seem like im bashing on characters for stupid reasons #because i grew up like that through some fandoms. #im tired of being petty. #i just... want to break that mold im so used to #but i wanna do something that makes me happy and comfortable with. #idk sorry. #im probably not making any sense. #hmph.

[fairy-made]

I dont think I ever said anything about this, but when I replayed the skyrim romance mod after it got an update a while back, it seemed like someone read my random comments about it and like....actually tweaked the mod?? which is really cool imo. putting this under a cut since I think the mod still generally has a bad rep, even though it seems like theyre working on that in some capacity. I didnt really even know what the drama was about in the first place.

literally everything I talked about that could be fixed within a reasonable amount of time was fixed. back then (~3-4 yrs ago) I was a little more tolerant of the “bad boy, borderline abusive” type and while the character himself seems to be intentionally pushy, it seems to be a bit better. if I remember correctly, I think they cut the rapey bits and just worked around it so that bishop was still a brat about your player not wanting to have sex, but not a scary horny nutcase. theres a big difference between “youre gonna have sex with me one of these days wench!!” and “ugh, fine, be like that!” its def not A+, but it is an improvement that still suits the character. I obviously wasnt too bothered with the earlier version back then (had some stuff I was going through), but now I can see the concern, and to me its less cringey. Id have to replay it again to see how I feel exactly, but Im sure its better at least.

they re-did the whole interaction with cael so instead of him talking about how he could give you orgasms like youve never seen, hes cautious of you yet still kind of flirty. a real sweetie. I mean, I like the new bit, but he could also let me know hes dtf a little bit. lmao thats just me though. 

the one thing I did not like too much was that they added animations for the sex scenes, and that you had no choice but to sit through them (unless you said no to sex altogether). since I literally set the camera so that I could not see the sex anims, I did get to hear bishops VA during the scenes and Imma just say.......... you should hear them. even if its just the once. lmao. I read that theyre gonna cut out the sex mod dependencies so that you can just have fade to black scenes, and I am for that 1000000%. 

now I just hope it gets ported it to the special edition, because it seems waaay too hard and time consuming to do it myself. I tried to start but the list of tasks was just too long to justify working on when I have homework and other stuff to do.

outside all that, I can see why there was such a bad vibe surrounding the mod at first. it all made sense when I read about the drama on reddit, but the harshness  was a bit... much?? from what I read, the creator made some bad choices and eventually acknowledged/fixed them. her reasoning and intentions for making them could be questionable, but people are human, idk what else to say. Im just... not grabbing a pitchfork over this and I fail to see any reason to continue that now lmao. she obviously still wants to hold everything together for the mod and do things better so... Im not gonna hold a grudge even if she made bad choices. she ultimately canceled the kickstarter, and this is all ultimately over a mod. a skyrim mod. you either wanna play and support it or you dont because of very valid reasons. its up to you. but either way it just will never be that serious.

I honestly got the impression that she might be a bad person from stuff I read until I got the chance to read about everything, and then I was like wow.. she fucked up, but the worst thing she did was undone the same day it happened so...like... yall couldve just went on about your lives and left this woman alone. 

anyway, long talk. it seems like the mods at a standstill, since it hasnt been ported to the SE yet and I dont think the creator herself has made any announcements about actual updates coming soon. but I actually hope things stay positive for the mod. 

(also psa, this is for my followers/mutuals if there interested in talking about it. Ive tagged this for the sole purpose of being able to be filtered by those who dont want to hear anything about it.)

Update: so I downloaded the beta for the SE. it wasnt working for me as the dialogue would seem to break anytime after I used racemenu. I literally cant play skyrim without changing my hair, and the person in charge of the beta said to try playing it on a no-rush new game so... I kind of gave up. I had started over twice after already sinking 4-8 hours into those 2 new games, specifically for the mod, and I just didnt feel like doing it again.

Replaying the bits that I could, I will say it is... kind of cheesy. Doesnt bother me much though. I used to write bad fanfiction, so its not the worst. Its just not impervious to being... cheesy at times. Idk how to put it lol. Maybe you could say its tropey? Like something youd read in a romance novel with those dramatic traditional cover illustrations. Not bad. Just, if you hate that kinda thing, you might not be into it. Im not very critical because the alternative is like. 1 other mod? So I just dont mind.

Outside of that I kind of have no idea what my complete opinion is on it now. I intended to find out, but gave up due to modding issues. I was a little younger when I first played it, so I may have different opinions on it now. As I mentioned before my opinion of sex and certain character traits used to be different, and its changed a lot since then. Its still kind of changing even now. I still go “yeah... that was the trauma” about stuff I used to think was not so bad.

To be honest I didnt even remember having an opinion of it as cheesy a few years ago, but now after replaying for the 3rd time Im like... from what little Ive seen so far, its some pretty sharp cheddar lol. So if it is a lot worse than you felt you were led to believe from reading this, Im sorry, and you can inbox me about it. Especially since I may not ever even play the newest version.

#skyrim romance mod #long post

[spell406]

So, a friend of mine basically forced me to watch at least one episode of Netflix Castlevania.

(Disc - I am new to tumblr and had a little problems with posting this thing correctly. Sorry for spam)

So I watched one. And then another. And another… When I finished it was 3 a.m., my eyes were burned out, my brain fried, and my soul forever forfeited, but whatever, who need it anyway.

I am new to the universe, and I know that I am something like 10 months late to the review party, so instead I decided to just share a bunch of thoughts of mine. [UPDATE – Because I am extremely heavy procrastinator and it took me almost two weeks to write this thing I am already at 50% of SoTN right now I’ve finished SoTN by now]

First of all – Castlevania looks like anime, but shares almost nothing common with it. It was a relief, to be honest, as I was a little afraid of show being just another shounen with specific set of clichés and similarities that might quite not bad (or even enjoyable), but I’ve seen them too many times before – better or worse executed – to watch without a mild nausea another Bleach/Naruto in a darker scenario.

I would never demand a fantasy world to be realistic. Like, who would do, fantasy world is supposed to be… fantasy, right? I am fine with lack of realism but I can’t say the same about lack of common sense, and there is a matter of logic that I personally find quite funny. When you are about to fight in close quarters with someone, with both of you lives on stake you’ll want to use every possible advantage. In general there are two kinds of battle armors – first one is focused on providing maximum protection (like typical medieval plate armor) and second one designed to grant freedom of movement especially critical in usually legwork-heavy duels. And here are our “battle” priests in gowns. Gowns, that manage to provide neither aforementioned advantage and downsides of both. Heh. It just bothers me too much, honestly.

I really love the flow of narration; the way that every character including antagonists has its own set of motives and reasons, even Carmilla has her own background that is convicting to justify her bitchery (Well, she has seen it before, right? And Dracula wasn’t even trying to hide his apathy, so why would she like to watch as dead man wages his hollow war)(Is it only me or Dracula shows typical signs of severe depression? Apathy, lack of strength to take any decision, not taking care of himself, loss of interest – even in his own war – well, to be honest he has a good reason to do so).

Animations. Ah, that one is unquestionably excellent, although you Powerhouse Animation guys could have make use of an additional 4-5 fps – from time to time I had a feeling that there is a cat sitting on my keyboard’s space bar, pausing and starting show over and over - it happened something like two or three times. If it comes to favorite scenes – for me, it would be first meeting and fight between Trevor and Alucard. The dialogue and music is so good at reflecting rising pressure and tension between those two – let put oneself in Trevor’s boots – just day before he was rather concerned about getting some food/drink and move on and now he is standing against something that he now considers to be last boss of his life, or perhaps not, he doesn’t even know how does Dracula looks like and he doesn’t seem to be openly aggressive, or perhaps yes, he is obviously vampire and he seems to doesn’t like Belmont name, on the other hand even lesser vampire might be not so easy foe and he is kinda out of practice, and Sypha doesn’t feel like helping out, at least for now… It is all just perfect, and the sound track alone is stuff of legends. (Season 2 OST on Spotify WHEN??”)

Second best would be first phase of Dracula fight – the way which they are team working fluently to not let eachother get killed pleases my inner maniac in best possible way, although the 1 vs 1 part is kinda downgrade - but still ok.

But there is one thing that really stands out in best possible way from things I’ve seen before and that’s utilization of facial expression and body language. Like seriously, this combined with really outstanding voice acting bring interactions between characters to another damned level. (Unfortunately, national translation and voice acting is so awful that I couldn’t bear myself to finish even first season). There are few thing I consider more important in creating credible character than combining overall expressiveness and voice acting, the ability to tell words without actually using any (Finding Ciri cinematic in Witcher 3 is perhaps best known to me example) - and Castlevania does it just soooo good.

Dracula generals. When they were shown for the first time I was like “oh boy he has summoned generals, (Generals! Master tactician, the artists of war!) the oldest, most cunning and powerful beasts from entire world, now things are going to get rough.” And how did it turned out? I can understand that Dracula tasked his forge masters with overseeing the war (Although his reasoning was kind of ok, good job Dracula for nominating for executives two people, that knew least about proceeding war) Did they were incompetent so much? Then how did they managed to get their titles, if they were just a bunch of endlessly whining mischief-makers? They were supposed to know how war looks like, and how to do one, but instead they did literally nothing for war effort! If you ask me, that is at least one risen eyebrow. Excluding Godbrand, the only member of council that did anything more than grate his teeth in silent anger, killed some civilians and got taken care of quite effortlessly. Also, Godbrand wasn’t made to be the sharpest knife in a closet, but he still was bright enough to ask himself “What will we do when we’ll win a war?” Also, he managed to notice that there were no real plan to follow... That is +1 to you Godbrand, I’ll miss you my vikingy boi. In the end, if they were meant to be just a background, they did get a little too much of screen time, and if they were not, they got faaaaaar from enough of it.

By the way – not sure if it’s only me but I personally think that Trevor might be keenest (or – at least – not dumbest) of protagonist trio. He might lack classic education, but he is careful watcher (he noticed fresh oil in torch and overall state of Alucard’s hideout), he correctly chosen and quite successfully executed strategy at Gresit square (isolate, divide and destroy) and quite steadfastly shrugged  off Alucard bickering (well, most of times). Also, his plan for battle with vampire generals was quite logical – avoid close quarter cause humans are in general more fragile than vampires, and Alucard as frontline. My inner maniac was most pleased.

As I said before, I really enjoy Castlevania’s overall character design but with an exception of bishop of Gresit. There is no reason for his work, I know that he is insane and reasoning usually does not apply to those like him but I feel like there is no reason in villainy (this entire talking about making a God’s own country – well, I don’t buy it), aside of being genuinely baaaaad, which kinda stands out in negative way in comparison to the rest of characters.

To highlight the issue, lets do some roleplaying here:

The night creatures are ravaging the land that you had sworn to protect in unholy war against humanity, killing women, men even your subordinates alike. The citizens are growing restless, and demand taking an action. How do you proceed?

a) Find the last descendant of family known for their prowess in fighting those beasts; but be wary – he doesn’t seem to like you very much after you branded him as heretic, exterminated his entire family and burned down his home (probably with some of aforementioned family still inside it). However, if you nicely ask for help, reverse the curse, apology for making mistake and return the estate it actually might work. (to be honest that could be quite interesting moral choice for Trevor, to help people of Wallachia and let bishop take all glory or decline the bishop proposition and screw people over in the process)

b) You can fight them, you are the Holy Church after all. You have access to unlimited supply of holy water, relics, you have enough money and authority to arm and train people’s militia properly. Your knowledge of those beasts might be as wide as Belmont family, but at least should be sufficient to minimalize the damage. Killing the Dracula, however, might be impossible for you.

c) You spent most of your time on biting, trashing, or looking for anyone to cast entire blame upon; it doesn’t matter who is that poor bastard as long as it is not you. In addition, you…

AAAAARGH I CAN’T CONTAIN MYSELF ANY LONGER! BROTHER, I DON’T FEEL LIKE I AM   WICKED ENOUGH! I REQUIRE TO SEE SOME SUFFERING OF INNOCENT TO FEAST UPON! WHAT DO YOU SAY, BROTHER? I CANT HEAR YOU OVER RAGE BOILING IN MY VEINS! WHAT, SPEAKERS? OF COURSE THEY WILL DO RAAAAAARRGARGAJGIOGJIHKBYIUOL

Oh well.

Well, looks like I am done here. By the way, sorry for my English, I am not a native speaker (If I’ve commited any spectacular crime against vocabulary/grammar let me know on priv).

Now I’m going back to rewatching show and torturing SoTN

No TL:DR, just read it if you want, it is not an entire book, you know.

#castlevania #trevor belmont #sypha belnades #alucard

[tinygaysheep-blog]

THIS MIGHT BE A REACH BUT I THINK I’M ONTO SOMETHING HERE.

OKAY OKAY SO LISTEN  There’s a lot of discorse about the new season and that’s understandable BUT I want you guys to look at something with me for a second. 

 I wanna talk about Keith and Lance. We all know Keith’s going through a lot, the blade of marmora is convincing him his own life matters less than the mission, that if he died it would just be for the greater good of the cause. So he’s pulling away, trying to make it so that Voltron doesn’t need him so that he could be... disposable. 

So Keith talks to Shiro and tries to get him to go back to being the black paladin. And *cough cough* fake *cough* Shiro tells him to buckle the heck up and stop whining and just be the black paladin. He doesn’t see, in that moment just what Keith is trying to do. So he gets mad. 

This is a face of pure dissapointment in Shiro. And Keith sees it. He really sees it, and feels it too. But he doesnt know what to do about it.

He’s the lone wolf, right? He doesn’t know how to function in a team properly. In the B.O.M he’s much more independant. Yes, he gets orders and people he goes on with missions but if you really watch most of those missions involve very little teamwork. 

So Keith is pulling away, but at the same time he’s getting the rejection from everyone in the team that’s pushing him away. When he shows up late in the begining of episode one Hunk, Pidge and Lance are super pissed at him, right? 

Right? 

No, go back and look at Lance. He’s not angry. He’s worried. 

Yeah, he says “Are you even taking this seriously?” But think about it. Keith is someone who throws himself into missions. He takes everything he does seriously and he puts a 100% of himself into what he does. He doesn’t half ass things, and it pays off. He gets results. 

Lance is used to seeing Keith do well. At the Garrison he was top of the class, when he was still with Voltron he usually spent his free time training. And now, all of a sudden he’s late to missions, falling behind while he’s the leader. 

Not only that but remember this scene? 

 Again,everyone looks super pissed right? No look at Lance. 

And remember the dialogue?  Allura:You keep saying you’re sorry but your actions say otherwise. Do you realise that your actions put the entire team in jeoprady?  Lance: And not Just the team but the refugees too. 

and again, look at his face as he says it. 

He’s not angry. He’s confused there. Think about it. What did Keith tell Pidge when she tried to leave? That other people’s lives were at stake if she left. Keith cares about the people he’s out there protecting. Lance understands that this is not how Keith normally is. 

We know that they got closer in season 3 with Lance opening up to Keith and all and you might even call them friends. Sure he’s not as close as (the real) Shiro is to Keith, but he’s close enough to see Keith isn’t himself. 

But what if... what if Keith did open up. 

I get that this might be somewhat of a reach BUT if you watch Keith’s vlog, it’s very likely he wasn’t alone when he filmed it (he looks like he’s talking to someone off camera. but also tells them to get them out of there. Not only that but the camera turns off and from how emotional he got and the way he was walking its unlikely he turned it off and if you watch Allura’s vlog, she definitely gets closer to turn it off). Now my first thought would be that seeming it’s tech related it would be likely that Pidge would be with him. 

But it doesn’t seem like something that Pidge would be into. Sitting and making vlogs with the paladins. Not her style. 

Okay so maybe Coran? He was the first to upload a vlog, and the camera might be some castle gear? Sounds reasonable enough. But why only be there for Keith’s vlog? Allura was definitely alone during her’s. Also, I dont see them having the kind of bond where Keith would say any of that to Coran. No offense Space unc, we love you. 

OKAY so not Coran or Pidge... so maybe Allura? 

No, the bond isn’t strong enough. As someone who is pretty similar to Keith in defense mechanisms, I don’t see him trusting her to a point where he’s this open with her especially after what happened the last time he opened up about his Galra identity. 

(We all know where I’m going with this, but for argument’s sake; I will keep going. Feel free to skip ahead.) 

Okay so Hunk maybe? He has the tech know-how and stood up for Keith during the whole Galra thing. Even if he did tease him a little... Okay but even then they haven’t really had much bonding since then. I suppose it’s possible if Keith was feeling particularly vulnerable and whatever. But... Would Hunk really bother Keith to make a vlog? and would Keith ask Hunk to help with a vlog? 

It doesn’t really seem in character. Yes, they’re closer but still... not close enough. 

So that leaves Shiro and Lance. First, lets look at why I don’t think it’s Shiro. 

As we know Shiro is someone Keith looks up to. He’s always extremely respectful towards him and it shows in his facial expressions and way of speaking. 

but then look at this; 

Thats not a face Keith would make at Shiro.

You know who he does make faces like that at? 

L A N C E 

So lets think about this. Does Lance have the tech know how? Well he’s always stealing Pidge’s shit so I’mma go ahead and say, yeah to that one. Allura seems equally technically inclined as Lance, so seeming she has no trouble with it that makes sense. 

And even if Keith didn’t ask Lance to help him with his vlog, you know what does seem Lance like? Suggesting Keith makes a vlog. 

So lets asume here, for a moment that Lance knows about Keith’s abandonment issues. That would explain why he looks so worried in the screenshot from before, right? He knows Keith is feeling rejected by his team and he knows that Keith’s behaviour has changed since he started working more with the blade. 

But while they got closer in season 3, and Lance has a better understanding of Keith now, I also think Keith was eager to put some distance between them after that outburst. So he starts working with the blade a lot, right? Meaning Lance hardly sees him. 

So they take a few steps back in their friendship.

And then Kolivan calls Keith to a mission that they all know will be dangerous and look at Lance’s face. 

Yes, you could read it as Lance not wanting his spotlight gone BUT remember that Lance isn’t as shallow as he seems at first glance. He’s not the loverboy he pretends to be and few realise it, but he masks a lot of his emotions. 

Yes, Lance thrives on attention. But do you really think that he would prioritise a show over a mission that could give them a great boost in power? No, this isn’t about the show, this goes deeper. He’s worried. He’s worried about Keith. 

He doesn’t want him to go. He needs him around. But he cant tell him that. Especially not in front of everyone. 

So what does Lance do? 

He makes a stupid argument, its not much, but it’s all he’s got. “We can’t razzle dazzle the crowd with four lions.”  We need you, I need you. Thats what he’s trying to say. 

And Keith refuses. 

So Lance has that same expression. He’s looking at Shiro in dissbelief this time because he can’t believe he’s letting him go. 

So what we’ve established thus far is the following; 

-Lance definitely feels closer to Keith than he used to.  -Lance was probably there during Keith’s vlog. -Lance isn’t as straight forward as people think he is.  -There’s probably some distance between them right now.  -Lance has noticed Keith’s change in behaviour. 

So with all that in mind, do you really think Lance doesn’t see that Keith is in a bad place. He knows something is up. He can feel Keith pulling and he’s trying to tell him that they need him around but he doesn’t know how to say it. And then... then Keith tells them he’s leaving. 

yeah, everyone looks sad, but look at Lance. He looks deep in thought. What do you think he’s thinking? He just realised he lost Keith. And he gets it. Suddenly it all makes sense. Keith more or less reforced the bond between Black and Shiro and he was acting strange, showing up late. This is what’s been up with Keith and Lance finally figure out that this whole time, he was losing Keith. 

But he gives it one last try. 

Who am I going to make fun of? 

It’s so much more than a playfull jab. Think about it. Really think about it. 

“Who am I going to make fun of?”

Who am I gonna talk to? 

Don’t go. 

#klance #Voltron legendary defender #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #feels #voltron season four #voltron theory

[pink1031]

You’ve Woken Up the Demon In Me-Part 3

Characters: Demon!Dean x Reader, Crowley, Castiel, Cole

Warnings: Violence, non-con, dub-con, language, rough sex, oral (male and female receiving),angst, smut, choking, general abuse, fluff (just a little)  

A/n: This is not for the faint of heart.  It is very dark (like my soul). Demon Dean is by no means fluffy at all.  This follows Season 10, episodes 1, 2, 3 with a reader insert. I did not follow everything exactly, but much of the dialogue is there and the same premise. Sorry if this is pure trash. Gifs not mine. (Sorry about all the Gifs in this one but there are just so many out there from this episode that are so good!). 

Word Count: 6004

Part 1, Part 2

@build-a-pyre

@wildefire

Sam had managed to wrangle Dean into the dungeon of the bunker and secure him to a chair inside the devil’s trap. Dean had cussed and ranted the entire time but the cuffs did their job and made him virtually helpless.  You had locked yourself into your bedroom while Sam left to gather the blessed blood that he would need to cure Dean.  Your nerves were on edge the whole time Sam was gone, so much so that when you heard a knock on your bedroom door it actually made you jump and squeak in fear before grabbing your gun from your nightstand and point it at the door. “Y/n it’s me.” Sam called to you through the door. You took a deep breath and laid the gun back down before making your way to the door and unlocking it.  You smiled softly as you craned your neck to look up at Sam as you opened the door. Sam returned your soft smile with a small one of his own. “Just wanted to let you know I was back and I am heading down to get started.”  Sam held up the small cooler in his left hand. You nodded your response but weren’t sure exactly what to say.  You knew this was going to be rough, rougher than anything Sam had had to do before. “Do you want to…” Sam trailed off before clearing his throat. “I mean you don’t have to and I understand if you don’t want to see him.” “I’ll come with you, Sammy.” You nodded in understanding, knowing Sam didn’t want to face his demon brother alone.   He smiled a tight lip smile at you as you moved out of the room.  You both made your way down to the dungeon where Dean was waiting. Sam opened the dungeon door and made his way inside.  You held back, trying to calm your nerves and give yourself a pep talk before heading into the room.  “You can do this.” You told yourself. “You can do this for Sam and for Dean.” You made your way around the corner.  Dean sat strapped into the chair in the center of the devil’s trap.  Sam was standing at the small metal table opening the cooler that contained the blessed bags of blood. “Really?” You heard Dean scoff as he stared at Sam’s back. “For whatever it’s worth I got your blood type.” Sam spoke as he began to prepare the needles.   You walked silently and slowly into the room.  Keeping your distance and honestly hoping Dean didn’t notice you.   “Sam, I know you think you are gonna try and fix me, but…did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t want to be fixed? Just let me and Y/n go live our lives.  I won’t bother you. What do you care?” Dean spoke as Sam turned and made his way to the edge of the devil’s trap. “What do I care?” Sam asked staring at his brother in disbelief before sprinkling holy water onto the circle while he chanted in Latin. “Wait, it’s not me you care about is it Sammy?  You are worried about me taking Y/n away again aren’t you?” Dean glared at Sam. Sam shot a look back at Dean as he finished the chant. “Yeah, that’s it.  You think I am gonna sit here like Crowley? Getting all weepy while you shoot me up? Well, screw that. I don’t want this.” Dean yelled.   “Yeah, I pretty much figured that out.” Sam shook his head and turned to go back to the table. You inched a little further into the room as Sam moved. “You don’t even know if this is gonna work do you? You know, I got a hell of a lot more running through me than just demon juice.” Dean continued to try to reason with Sam. Sam’s eyes met yours as he held up the syringe. You watched him as he took a deep breath and turned to face his brother once more. “Mark of Cain, got it.” “That’s right.” “Buckle up.” Sam canted his head as he looked at his brother and then moved forward.   “Sammy,” Dean growled a warning. “ You know I hate shots.” “I hate demons.” Sam said sternly before entering the circle. Dean’s eyes immediately turned black and he tried to lunge at Sam.  Sam was quick to hit Dean with holy water causing him to cry out in pain and his skin to sizzle.  Before you could blink Sam had drove the needle into Dean’s skin and emptied the contents.  Dean’s eyes went wide as the blood began to course through him.  His head snapped up as a roar filled his throat.  It was like a sound you had never heard before as Dean snarled and growled.  You stumbled back in fear as you watched, a cry of surprise and fear leaving your throat.

   Dean’s black gaze snapped to you as the little scream left your lips. He was panting, his fists clenching and unclenching in his restraints. “Look, we got a whole more of these to go. You could make it a lot easier on yourself.” Sam looked down at Dean as he groaned in pain.   “What’s the matter, brat,” Dean brought his gaze back to you as you stood lingering against the doorframe, “don’t want to come give your man a hello kiss?” he tried to chuckle but groaned as Sam shoved another needle into his arm. “Leave her alone.” Sam barked as he yanked the needle back out. “For all you know you could be killing me.” Dean rolled his eyes to look up at Sam. “Or…you’re just messing with me. Either way the lore doesn’t say anything about exceptions to the cure.” Sam made his way back to the table and dropped down the empty syringe. “The lore, hunters, Men of Letters, what a load of crap it all is.” Dean scoffed. “Oh, you got nothing?” Sam sighed exasperated as he turned to face Dean, leaning back against the table. “You want me to debate you?” Sam raised an eyebrow. “This isn’t even the real you I am talking to.” You looked at Sam, he looked so tired and almost defeated. This was really taking it’s toll on him.  You made yourself cross the room the few feet until you were standing on the opposite side of the table from Sam, trying to offer him what little support you could without getting any closer to Dean. Dean watched you, letting you know he was still very aware of your presence. “Oh, it’s the real me alright. Isn’t that right sweetheart?” Dean smirked at you. 

Sam glanced back over his shoulder at you as he followed Dean’s gaze. You stood silently, chewing at your full bottom lip as Dean continued his bullshit speech. “The new real me, the me that sees things for what they really are. Winchesters. Do-gooders. Fighting the natural order. Let me tell you something, guys like me, we are the natural order. It’s the way it was set up.” Seeing you standing behind him in support gave Sam the encouragement he needed to continue. “Guys like me still got to do what we can.” “Don’t be so full of yourself Sammy. ‘Cause, see, from where I’m sitting, there ain’t much difference from what I turned into to what you already are.” Dean cocked his head and grinned. “And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” Sam asked, a confused look furrowing his brows. “I know what you did when you went looking for me. I know how far you went. Crowley told me all about it. So let me ask you…” Dean smirked. “Which one of us is really the monster? Hmm? Starting to come back to you now?” Sam took a deep shaky breath and turned his back to Dean. His eyes closed and he leaned heavily on the table.  You looked at Sam, a frown creasing your features. “Sam?” You asked softly wondering what Dean was talking about. Sam just shook his head but wouldn’t look at you. “Oh, wait, Sammy didn’t tell you did he baby?” Dean laughed. “He was trying to get a twenty on Crowley, me, and you from any demon he could snag. But Crowley didn’t want to be found, and no one showed when he summoned.“ Dean’s gaze moved from you back to his brother. “But you found a way, didn’t you, Sam?” “You would have liked to have gotten there before the deal went down, but you didn’t really care about poor ol’ Lester, did you?” Dean continued to taunt his brother. “Oh, and so you know, I killed Lester myself. And that wife of his married the tattooed guy.” You still didn’t know what Dean was talking about but you knew Sam and you knew that whatever he did was because he had to do it. He had to do it to find you and Dean and save you both. You moved around the table so you could stand at Sam’s side. Your small hand reached out to gently grip Sam’s arm. “Sammy?” Your voice was soft and soothing. Sam turned his head and looked down at you. His hazel eyes were so sad, like they carried the weight of the world. “ I never meant,” His words were cut off by a now angry Dean. “Who cares what you meant?! That line that we thought was so clear between us and the things that we hunted, ain’t so clear is it? Wow. You might actually be worse than me! I mean, you took a guy at his lowest, used him, and it cost him his life and his soul. Nice work.” Dean huffed angrily. “Yeah well,” Sam’s gaze turned angry as he looked down at you, he grabbed another needle and turned towards Dean, stomping over to his side. “At least I didn’t kidnap and rape my best friend.” 

Sam shoved the needle hard into Dean’s neck before walking back to the table as Dean screamed in pain.  Sam threw the syringe down on the table.  Sam’s face was covered with a mix of emotions: anger, sadness, regret.   Dean’s chest rose and fell with his heavy breathing. His head drooped forward. “Let me ask you this, Sammy: If this doesn’t work, we both know what you got to do to me, right? You got the stomach for that, Sam?” Sam couldn’t answer that question.  Instead he pushed himself from the table and made his way out the door.   You watched Dean as you waited for Sam to return.  Dean did not look good.  He truly looked like he was in pain.  Soft groans fell from his lips as he sat with his eyes closed and his head slumped forward.  What if this really was killing him? You brain and emotions were still a giant jumble of confusion.  You hated the demon that Dean had become, but the man in front of you was still Dean.  Every ounce of your being still wanted to save that man.  You still wanted your Dean back.  You suddenly realized that Dean was too quiet. No more groaning or growling. His breathing was more shallow. “Sammy!” You yelled as you rushed over to Dean.  You shook Dean’s shoulders but got no response. “Dean!” You yelled at him and did the only thing you could think and slapped Dean across his scruffy cheek. “Hey! Hey! Dean! Come on, come back!” Dean’s voice came out a hoarse whisper. “No.” “Come back to me. You there? Hey! Dean, you okay?” You asked as your hands cupped his cheeks and lifted his head so you could look at him. Dean’s head lolled in your hands. “Yeah brat, if you consider drowning in your own sweat while your blood boils okay.” Dean coughed softly and you gently stroked his cheek.  You heard Sam rushing back into the room so you stood and moved back away from Dean. You looked at Sam with worried pleading eyes. “Look I can’t just stop doing this.” Sam said to both you and Dean. “Sure you can. You just stop! There’s no point in trying to bring your brother back now.” Dean glared up at his brother. “Oh, I will bring him back.” Sam seemed more determined now. “In fact, your uh… guilt-ridden, weight-of-the-world bro has been M.I.A. for quite some time now. But I’m loving the new model: Lean, mean, Dean” Dean chuckled. “Right.” Sam scoffed. “You like the new me too, don’t ya sweetheart?” Dean licked his full lips as he looked you up and down.  “In fact you love the new me, the way I make you scream so loud when you cum on my cock.” “Stop it Dean.” Sam barked at his brother. “You notice I tried to get as far away from you as possible Sammy? Away from your whining, your complaining. I chose the King of Hell over you! Maybe I was just … tired of babysitting you. Or always having to yank your lame ass out of the fire since …” Dean laughed. “Forever. Or maybe … Maybe it was the fact that you wanted my girl, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let that happen.  Or it could be that my mother would still be alive if it wasn’t for you. That your very existence sucked the life out of my life!” Your eyes grew wide as you listened to Dean rant.  You couldn’t believe the words spilling from his mouth.  You looked between the brothers.  Sam’s jaw was clenched and his nostrils flared as the anger flooded through him. “This isn’t my brother talking.” Sam took a deep breath as he tried to calm himself. “You never had a brother! Just an excuse for not manning up. But guess what: I quit.” “No. No, you don’t. You don’t get to quit. We don’t get to quit in this family! This family is all we have ever had!” Sam yelled back at Dean, his anger finally getting the best of him. “Well, then, we got nothin’.” Dean snarled. “Would you say that to Dad?” Sam asked, continue to hold on to hope that Dean was still in there somewhere. “Dad? Oh, there’s a prize. There’s a man who brainwashed us into wasting our lives fighting his losing battle!” Dean replied knowing that was the way Sam had always felt about their father. Sam shook his head and turned his back to Dean, moving back over to the table to load up another syringe with sanctified blood.   “Oh, ooh is this you manning up?” Dean poked at his brother. “This is me yanking your lame ass out of the fire.” Sam spoke as he jammed the needle into Dean’s arm once again. “You’re welcome.” Dean immediately began gasping and groaning in pain as Sam turned away again throwing the syringe onto the table before his long stride carried him out of the room.  You stared for a moment at Sam’s back and then looked back at Dean. “Sammy wait.” You called out as you turn and jog out of the room to catch up with the younger Winchester. You moved down the hallway in search of Sam and found him standing in Dean’s room. “Sam?” you asked softly.

Sam turned at the sound of your voice. His normally bright eyes were red and tear filled and it broke your heart.  You quickly moved to him throwing your arms around him and hugging him tight.  Sam’s good arm wrapped around you as he tucked his head to the curve of your neck and you could feel him sob softly.   “It’s going to be okay Sammy.”  You gently stroked your fingers through his hair. “We are going to get Dean back.  It’s going to work.” You tried to soothe him.  Sam let you hold him for a minute longer before he stood to his full height and wiped the remaining tears from his cheeks. “Yeah, it’s gotta work.” He nodded, saying it more to himself than to you.  He smiled down at you and gently cupped your cheek in his large hand.  “I should be the one taking care of you Y/n, not the other way around.” “We are taking care of each other Sammy.” You smiled and nuzzled against his palm. “Yeah but after everything you went through.” a deep frown formed on Sam’s face. “After what Dean did to you.” “Hey,” you cut him off. “That was not Dean. That was and is a monster pretending to be Dean.” You felt your eyes sting with unshed tears. “Dean could never do…he would have never…”  You couldn’t finish. “I know.” Sam leaned down and placed a soft kiss against your forehead.  “I called Cas. I am hoping he gets here soon. I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” You nodded softly wiping your eyes before reaching your hand out and lacing your fingers with Sams’ “We can do this, together Sammy.” Sam gave you a soft smile and you walked out of the room hand in hand together. You both rounded the corner to head into the dungeon when you were stopped in your tracks. Dean’s chair was empty.  He was gone. Your eyes went wide and instantly your heart began to race as the fear coursed through you. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” You cursed under your breath as you looked up at Sam. Sam’s eyes were just as wide as he looked down at you. “Go back to your room. Lock yourself in. Don’t unlock the door until I tell you.” Sam spoke quickly and softly. “Sammy, I..I..shit…” You began to panic. Your brain wasn’t fully comprehending Sam’s instructions as the fear coursed through you. “Y/n, go, now!” Sam shook your shoulder for emphasis. You nodded and turned back from the way you had come struggling to make your feet move faster down the hallway as you looked back over your shoulder to make sure Sam was still behind you. Sam made his way silently through the bunker. He tried to listen carefully for movement to pinpoint Dean’s location.  He eased himself down the hall with his back against the wall.  He heard doors opening and the sound of Dean’s boots but it was further away. Sam quickly slipped over to the desk drawer, opening it as quietly as he could and retrieved the set of master keys to the bunker.   You were crouched down in the corner of your room. You had locked the door like Sam told you but it didn‘t make you feel any safer. Your gun was in your trembling hand and your eyes trained on the door.  Your heart raced and you could hear it thudding in your ears. “Come on. Don’t you guys want to hang out? Spend a little quality time?” Dean’s voice echoed in the halls.

Sam made his way to the control room and as quietly as he could he unlocked the door. He ran across the room and quickly pulled the lever to lockdown the bunker.  The lights went out just as the lever was pulled and now the bunker was illuminated in the red glow of the alarm lights. “Smart, Sam! Locking the place down. Doors won’t open. I get it. But here’s the thing: I don’t want to leave! Not ‘til I find Y/n and take care of you!” Dean called as he walked calmly down the hallway with a newfound hammer in hand. Dean stopped walking as he found himself outside of your bedroom.  He stood looking at the door for only a moment before kicking it in with one muscled leg. You squealed and jumped as the door crashed open. You stood to your full height holding your gun out in front of you pointed at Dean’s chest. “There you are, brat.” Dean grinned. He canted his head to the side as he looked at the gun you were holding. “You really think that is going to do any good sweetheart?” He chuckled softly. “Pretty sure you’d need the demon blade for me.” Dean’s eyes flashed black as he quickly rushed you. You didn’t even have time to fire before he had knocked the gun from your hand and wrenched your arm behind your back making you cry out. “Come on brat. Let’s go find Sammy huh? Then we can get out of here.” You winced as Dean forced you out of the room.  He stopped to listen and as he heard a clatter in the distance then he steered you down the hall towards the noise.   “Sammy! You’re just making this worse for yourself, man!“ Dean called out to his brother, “Oh, by the way, you can, uh… blame yourself for me getting loose. All that blood you pumped into me to make me human… Well. The less demon I was, the less the cuffs worked. And that Devil’s Trap? Well, I just walked right across it. It smarted, but still.” Dean forced you to continue walking as he continued to try to taunt Sam out of hiding. “I found Y/n Sammy, why don’t you come get her if you think you are man enough.” Sam’s eyes closed and he cursed under his breath at Dean’s words. “Shit.” he mumbled as he leaned back against the wall.  “Dean just let her go.  We can work this out man.” Sam yelled out to his brother. Dean stopped at the sound of Sam’s voice trying to discern what direction it came from.  “I’m going to need you to scream for me now, brat.” Dean whispered low in your ear. “What?” Your brows furrowed. “Need to flush Sammy out. Scream.” Dean grinned down at you. “No.” Your words turned into a cry of pain as Dean wrenched your arm back harder behind your back. You were almost sure he had dislocated your shoulder. The tears streamed down your cheeks as the pain rushed through you. Dean’s head snapped up as he heard Sam roar in frustration at the sound of your scream.  “Good girl.” Dean whispered against your ear before placing a kiss to your temple. Dean shoved you forward in the direction you both now knew Sam to be in.  He kept a brutal grip on your arm as he shoved you along.  You soon found yourself outside of the control room.  The door was standing ajar and Dean smirked as he looked down at you.  With his hold on you he quickly spun you around and shoved you back against the wall pressing his own body tight against yours. “I need you to be a good girl and wait right here for me.” Dean looked down at you, licking his full lips that merely inches from yours. “If you run off and I have to find you again you are not going to like what happens next.” he growled softly before crushing his lips against yours in a brutally hard kiss. 

Dean let go of his grip on you and slipped inside the control room.  Within seconds the lights in the bunker came back to life. “Yeah, that’s more like it.” Dean smiled to himself as he made his way back to the door only for it to slam in his face and lock from the outside. Sam was by your side again as he locked the door trapping Dean inside.  Sam quickly took a moment to pull you in against his side in a gentle hug before looking back at the door. “That’s your big move?” Dean scoffed as he tried to doorknob. Sam yelled through the door at Dean. “Listen to me, Dean! We were getting close, okay? I know you’re still in there somewhere. Just let me finish the treatments.” When there was no answer Sam took a step closer, pressing his ear against the door. “Dean?” Sam suddenly jumped back as a loud thud mixed with the splintering of wood resounded in the quite corridor. “You act like I want to be cured!” Dean yelled from the other side of the door as he continued to drive the hammer into the wood causing pieces to splinter and fly off. “Personally, I like the disease.” Dean grinned through the small hole that was now in the door. “Dean, stop that! Look, I don’t want to use this blade on you!” Sam yelled as he held the demon blade out in front of him.  You had moved from the wall and stood half behind Sam now. “That sucks for you, doesn’t it? ‘Cause you really mean that!” Dean continued as more and more wood broke away from the door.   “Look, if you come out of that room, I won’t have a choice!” Sam continued to argue with his brother. You stepped closer to Sam placing a trembling hand on his right arm as you both tried to stand your ground against the demon. “Sure you will! And I know which one you’ll make. Isn’t that right, Sammy? But see … Here’s the thing: I’m lucky.” The hole had gotten much bigger now as Dean continued to hammer away at it.  “Oh, hell, I’m blessed! ‘Cause there’s just enough demon left in me that killing you? Ain’t no choice at all.” Dean’s cold eyes turned to you and you immediately let your hand fall away from Sam’s body. “Remember what I told you, brat.” Dean scowled. “You’re mine.” With those words Dean managed to bust through the door. Sam grabbed you quickly and spun you both around.  You sprinted down the hallway with Sam at your side as you heard the rest of the wood shatter and then Dean’s heavy boot falls on the tile floor. “Sammy? Y/n?” Dean called out as you and Sam moved down yet another hallway and hid around a corner. Both of you breathing heavily.  “Come on! Let’s have a beer, talk about it. I’m tired of playing. Let’s finish this game!” Sam glanced down at you before slowly and hesitantly peering out around the corner to look down the adjacent hallway.  His attention was pulled back as he heard a yelp fall from your lips. He turned back around and ducked just in time as Dean’s hammer went flying at his head getting stuck in the wall. Dean had his free hand around your throat as held you against the wall. You were frozen in fear as Dean choked you even while staring at his brother.  Your soft gasps for air and Sam’s heavy breathing the only sounds as Sam quickly had the demon blade against his brother’s throat. “Well … Look at you.” Dean smirked and tilted his chin pressing his throat tighter against the cold blade. “You want to save her? Do it. It’s all you.”

Your eyes were fluttering closed, the blackness drowning you as you struggled to breathe.  You heard the sound of metal clattering to the floor and then Dean growling and roaring. His hand fell from your throat and your body crumpled to the floor.  As you lay there you thought you could hear Castiel’s voice but it sounded faint and far away. “It’s over.” Castiel growled as his arms wrapped tight around Dean’s. “Dean, it’s over.” Dean continued to struggle against the angel but Cas held him tight. “It’s over.” Sam was kneeling by your side. His large warm hand gently stroking your pale cheek. “Y/n, sweetheart. Can you hear me?”  Sam pushed the stray strands of hair away from your face as your eyes slowly opened. “There you are.” He held your cheek softly in his palm. You groaned and tried to sit up but your head pounded and the world seem to spin. “No, no.  Don’t get up.” Sam cooed softly. “Cas will be back in a minute to heal you. Just wait.” Sam smiled softly down at you.   Just as Sam had said Castiel was at your side a moment later. “Let me heal you Y/n.” His deep gravelly voice music to your ears as he placed his fingers on your forehead. “No Cas, wait. Your grace.” You choked out your voice hoarse and raspy. “Don’t waste it on me.” “I’m okay now Y/n. I can heal you.” Cas stated and before you could protest you felt the warmth of his healing powers move over your body.  You closed your eyes and sighed. “Thank you Cas.” you smiled up at him as your body felt renewed. You hugged the angel tight as he helped you up to your feet. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The three of you stood in the dungeon looking at Dean’s limp body strapped down the chair once more. “What the hell are we doing to him, Cas? I mean, even after I gave him all that blood, he still said he didn’t want to be cured, that he didn’t want to be human, and this obsession with Y/n.” Sam glanced down at you as he said your name and looked back at Castiel. “Well… I see his point. You know, only humans can feel real joy, but … also such profound pain. This is easier.” Castiel looked from Dean then to you. “He has always had feelings for you but he never allowed himself to act on them. So, as a demon he allowed himself to have what he wanted most.” You bit your bottom lip as you took in Cas’s words.  You had never known Dean felt anything for you. He had always treated you like his little sister and nothing more. You opened your mouth to speak but movement from Dean caught your attention. Dean raised his head, his eyes were solid pulls of black and you felt your heart sink but suddenly the black slowly faded to reveal tired moss green eyes. Dean groaned softly and let out a shakey breath. His eyes moving over the three of you. “You look worried, fellas.” he said with a raspy voice. Sam took a hesitant step forward and reached out his good arm splashing Dean across the face with holy water. Dean flinched and blinked but nothing happened. No pain, no sizzle, no smoke.   You and Sam both released a breath that you had been holding and Sam smiled brightly. “Welcome back, Dean.” Dean nodded softly but then his eyes met yours and his heart broke as me memories came flooding back to him. “Y/n.” He whispered softly. You couldn’t look at the pain in his eyes.  You didn’t know how either of you were going to get past what had happened. Tears flooded your eyes and you stared at the man in front of you, your Dean.  Your lips parted but you couldn’t find any words. You choked back a sob and quickly turned, running from the room. You found yourself a little while later sitting in the library with Castiel at your side. Cas was flipping through the “Practiners Guide to Exorcism” book as Sam walked into the room. “Hey.” Sam greeted you both as you looked up at him. “How’s he doing?” Cas asked as he sat the book back down on the table. “He’s uh … He’s still a little out of it, but better, I think. I mean, I think this whole thing, the blood cure, and the … “ Sam stole a glance at you. “all of it…really wrecked him, you know?” “Yeah.” Cas replied and gave you a soft sad smile.  You couldn’t take the look of pity on both of your friends’ faces so you stared down at your hands. “On the plus side, he’s hungry again, so I’m just going to go pick him up a big ol’ bag of crap food and stuff it in his face myself. You mind keeping an eye?” Sam looked at Cas with a questioning look. “Yeah.” Cas nodded as Sam turned to walk away. “Sam?” Cas called after him. “Yeah?” Sam turned back to look at the angel. “You realize one problem is solved, but one still remains. Dean is no longer a demon, that’s true. But the Mark of Cain… that, he still has. And sooner or later, that’s going to be an issue.” Sam sighed. “You know what, Cas? I’m beat, man. One battle at a time, you know? So I’m just gonna go grab my brother some cholesterol. And then, I’m gonna get drunk.” he nodded before turning and sprinting up the steps to the bunker door. Castiel turned his attention to you after Sam had left the room. “Are you alright Y/n?” “I honestly don’t know.” You smiled a tight lipped smile. “I’m not sure how to deal with all this.”   “You know that was not Dean who hurt you?” Cas looked at you with concerned eyes. “I know that Cas but…” you closed your eyes, feeling a headache beginning to start you pinched the bridge of your nose between your fingers. “Can’t you just wipe my memories or something? Make it all just go away?” Castiel smiled and chortled. “I wish it was that simple Y/n.  You need to talk to Dean.” “I don’t know if I can Cas.” “I’m going to go check on him.” Cas nodded to you as he rose from his seat and turned to leave the room. Castiel knocked softly on Dean’s bedroom door. “Yeah.” Dean called out as he sat on his bed thumbing through pictures. Picture of you and Sam, and the three of you together.  He wiped a tear away from his eye as the door swung open. “You look terrible.” Cas deadpanned as he walked into the room. “You know, it wouldn’t kill you to lie every now and again.” Dean looked at Cas as he laid the pictures on his nightstand. “No, it wouldn’t kill me. I just … You …” Castiel looked at Dean with a confused expression on his face. “Forget it. Well, you, on the other hand, you…” Dean gestured to Cas’s appearance as he rose from the bed. “Looking good. So… Are you back?” Cas smiled and nodded. “At least temporarily. It’s a long story. Crowley, stolen grace. There’s a female outside in the car.” Dean raised his eyebrows and Cas just shook his head. “Another time.” “Well, thank you for, um… Stepping in when you did.” Dean looked down at the floor then, suddenly thinking about what could have happened if Cas hadn’t shown up when he did. Cas nodded his reply. “What did Sam say? Does he want a divorce?” Dean looked up at Cas, the worry evident in his green eyes. “And Y/n? Is she?” “I’m sure Sam knows that whatever you said or what you did, it wasn’t really you. It certainly wasn’t all you.” Cas paused. “Y/n, she is really struggling Dean.  I don’t know how to help her with this.” “I tired to kill him, Cas.” Dean felt the tears well up in his eyes. “But that’s nothing compared to what I did to her.  How can she ever forgive me for that? How am I supposed to forgive myself?” “Dean. You and Sam and Y/n have been through so much. Look, you and Sam are brothers. It’d take a lot more than trying to kill Sam with a hammer to make him want to walk away.” “You realize how screwed up our lives are that that even makes sense?” Dean chuckled a little to himself. Cas laughed softly then placed a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “You and Y/n need to talk.  You both love each other, that is obvious. You will find a way to work through this.” “I’m glad you’re here, man.” Dean smiled softly and clapped Cas on the shoulder. Cas nodded and turned towards the door, turning back to Dean just before heading out. “Hey, maybe you should um … take some time before you get back to work. Allow yourself to heal. It’s, uh … I don’t know. The timing might be right. Heaven and Hell, they seem reasonably back in order. It’s quiet out there.”

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