#sometimes i think haha will youre so funny | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bunnyathy · 14 hours

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my favorite and funny silly headcannons (not rlly) and ooc ideas about the batfamily:

Damian Wayne:

- has a dedicated social media accounts for his pets. he gets income and sponsorship from luxury pet brands all the time because of it. he doesn’t really care about the money he’s just happy his pets get to have free stuff that give them a better and spoiled life.

- bro’s a gen alpha he’s probably a brainrot humor kind of kid but he hides it well but it comes out at random times

- he’s a dedicated hater, he loved kendrick lamar’s drake diss songs

- his personal/ official Damian Wayne tiktok account is literally just a hate page for his brothers (but in an endearing way he still loves them)

- prefers watching reels over tiktok bcs of the funny comments and the unhinged reels that come out there

- Damian Wayne is a weeb… he was absolutely there during the Anime tiktok lockdown era (if he was even born yet idk) so he knows all the cringe weeb shit.. he quotes it at random times….

- Damian was strictly shoujo mangas and anime but Jon showed him My Hero Academia and he LOVED it. he respects Koda and likes his quirk. MHA was one of the only mangas he read that’s not shoujo lol. (lets ignore the part where there was official damian wayne art where there was a chainsaw man manga with him (i dislike csm))

- he probably did one of those kpop pc decora things out of a printed picture of his fave anime character cough bakugo and tamaki suoh cough (he got influenced by flatline nika)

- he most likely listens to Twice bcs Flatline suggested it to him (this is not bcs I am a once (yes it is))

Batfam:

- to be able to keep up with Brucie Wayne’s diva it boy appearance he occasionally does those derma clinic facials and time to time he invites his kids. Stephanie absolutely is always with him, Cass as well but she’s only there because Steph seems to love it so she’ll always do what Steph loves. It came to a point where Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson, Duke Thomas started to become pretty boys (Jason is not there he could not stand Brucie persona)

- there has been rumors of Brucie Wayne having a bbl and to prove them all wrong Brucie posted a gym workout where his focus was his ass. lets just say BRUCIE JUICY ASS?? on twitter was trending and the kids HATED it. maybe haha certain heroes liked it a little more than others lmfao

- Damian got hyperfixated on into the spiderverse and across the spiderverse he forced his whole family to rewatch it with him

- Jason got asked to come over to the manor by one of the siblings and took a sneaky pic of his whole body just to put it in one of those “dance if you love your family” ai dancing thing on tiktok. he never came back to the manor….

- Tim and Damian have this online feud in tiktok where they comment unhinge and insulting comments to their public official account each other but ofc its filtered so it can cross the tos. Damian once commented “I hope to see you hanging in the streets” and almost got banned from tiktok

- whenever any of the fam asks something from Cass that she doesn’t wanna do she goes “sorry I’m mute” (she takes advantage of her not so disability) Stephanie taught her that she said it would be funny. it works sometimes bcs the other was probably too tired to notice or just goes along bcs they think Cass learning gen Z humor is funny.

aight ive ran out of ideas they were just mostly damian and batfam AHAHAHAH

#dc #dc comics #batman #batfamily #batfam #damian wayne #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #duke thomas #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #if the cass offended u guys pls no i’m disabled bruh its funny to me <//3

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culiehua · 21 days

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"you will live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension" not Will Herondale, my man just noped out of existence before this apocalypse

#sometimes i think haha will youre so funny #but then i see a picture of howard duck and im just like. i get it #why in the godsdamed FUXKDS is it smouldering #??????????#pay the damages for my pain and suffering #will herondale #the infernal devices #cassandra clare #the last hours #james herondale #jace herondale #the shadowhunter chronicles #the mortal instruments #i thought of marvel's what if again and it made me physically shudder #what the FUCK is quak-fu #i hate this guy #will im sorry i every doubted you

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croakings · 2 months

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i apologize for mithrunposting incessantly but honestly if any of you expected better of me you shouldn't have

anyway i get it and some of the failguy jokes are funny. i can tell that nothing i've run into is even malicious. but also it would be really cool and awesome if there were simply less posts calling a disabled person a failure or baby or a dog or whatever for needing accommodation or extra help, especially when like. hey did you know the source material very on purpose did not do anything remotely like that. critical thinking question: could there be some reasons these phrases are not great, potentially

#*#mithrun #dungeon meshi #people are being weird about laois and falin wrt autism also but this is a separate issue #the downside of rep outside of like Average Action Movie Protagonist #which is to say. rep at all. as we would think of it.#is that you get to see not in-group folks talk about those characters. also.#and sometimes. people have. let us say. unexamined. or unacknowledged. biases. perhaps prejudices. at times.#ANYWAY #DISABLED PEOPLE HOWEVER DISABLED ARE NOT INFANTS OR ANIMALS. THANK YOU.#ALSO JUST FOR THE RECORD NOT THAT IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO MY POINT #BUT MITHRUN IS SAID IN THE STORY TO BE FAIRLY SELF SUFFICIENT OUTSIDE OF DUNGEON CRAWLING.#his intelligence and strength stats are both extremely high. hey. hey. hey guys. what about him compels you to portray him #as weak or bumbling or unintelligent. quickly.#edit:#like look. if your whole joke is just ''ooooh he's so fucked up. he's so fucked up he's basically a goofy dog''. think about some things.#talking about/including a character's disability: 👍✅#exclusively talking about how fucked up it makes them/how fucked up it is to be disabled: 😕❌#double anyway. fucking. please for the love of god if nothing else. understand that real life disabled people see how you talk about #and portray those with disabilities. and sometimes! it does not feel good. thank you.#this isn't no fun alloweding. just THINK before you say shit PLEASE.#the only character ive seen get called a dog as much as mithrun is fucking laois. which. yk? ykwim here? would u call chilchuck a pursedog.#would that be fucked up‚ maybe. can you tell me why. are you reading me.#ok. i'm done. just. god. negative sims interaction bubble. JUST THINK ABOUT IT THATS ALL.#''its funny to ship mithrun with beautiful people bc he looks so fucked up now haha'' PLEASE CAN ANYONE HEAR ME.#actually i have more to say. rbing this. god. God.

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koifsssh · 7 months

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the very first meeting!

due to shenanigans, Rainy technically met maverick twice! of course, with that mask of his, and Rainy's foggy memory, it can be difficult to remember such things, especially when one party wants to keep themselves at an arm's length, to a certain extent!

but anyways! it's just something cute i like!

when maverick was a guest, I'd like to think it was a silly banter between them... they're just two guys talking about whatever nonsense...

...yes, Maverick got to keep the hat... Rainy doesn't wear them much anyway, it's not like they stay on during his performances! (and no, he's not going to try and glue them on!) (dialogue is in the image descriptions by the way! in case it's hard to read our handwriting!)

maverick belongs to @thatthirstyweirdo! bwah!

#your honor they are very silly...#welcome home oc #rainy dewdrop #maverick mic #dewdrop circus #micdrop #there are many silly shenanigans in the circus au... i wish to tell You about all of them!#they are so very funny to think about...#one of my favourite aus... and its just them... haha!#this is just me self indulging honestly...#welcome home au #clown rainy... my beloved clownnnn...#he is so very dear to me... as well as maverick! they are both such a pairrrr...#oh... they make me sad sometimes #theyre just so... its hard to explain...#just two guys... trying to make you laugh...#(pensive...)

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averlym · 7 months

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" just...come here. just sit here with me" (...that one scene from princess momonoke, click for better resolution)

#tw death mentioned for the tag rambles!! (sorry)#meme redraw gone wrong (high effort). don't ask me how i did this- i don't know either. consider this perhaps an AU of the pyre scene?#or more accurately just my internal wonderings visualised. sometimes the vibes from the implications don't pan out the same way #i also lost the original sketch somewhere in my papers. alas. i vaguely recall thinking this would be haha funny and then somewhere down #the line it turned to angst. other quotes that inspired this from the show were 'ily. i'm sorry' and 'i will always be so proud of you'.#smth smth they met on the roof!! vincent stops quincy from jumping off and then. vincent tries to die + eventually quincy kills him on the #very same roof. anyway the quincent death scene was spinning around for a bit in my head and out of the miscellaneous sketches this won out #wanted to play w the strong blue lighting + bg + silhouette things that you get w stage lighting // replaced the knife w vincent's scalpel #quincy is kneeling bc poses + idk why it's fun staging for him ;-; // also the proximity + intimacy.. // the pyre is also in the bg #but it's silhouetted behind quincy. i think the last quincy post made me associate symbolism (help??) bc as i was painting i was thinking o #angel wings ksdjfh // not to mention the halos. halos are always fun to paint.. shiny stuff...#and from the last vincent art. i guess the star and eye imagery carried over. hm. tried to get the quincy halo to match so its like a #rounder less spiky star? which hehe aligns w the sun vibes (that i??can't explain??) but more importantly here i was thinking about #binary stars for the glowy parts. two in orbit in pull to one another.. tension.. ue. also the glow for vincent goes to stabby eye so like #behind the face shown to viewer. meanwhile for quincy it goes in front of the face #and of course u have the downward linking implied line from quincy's tears +scalpel + glowy eye.#this is supposed to be rotatable.. in landscape form u can have either quincy or vincent upright (pov) + it should work both ways #//bonus stuff is vincent holding the skask w bloody hands + shadow looks like blood spatters. like it would if quincy did the stabby.#hhhh this is the most. confused i have been making a piece lately.. just toss in a lot of fun visual stuff and mix..#if the rambling analysis here seems pointless and confused i think that's why. this is why u should plan out your essays o.O..#oh. stuff i just remembered: the whole impetus for vincent planning his own death was so quincy would be happy / it's already #mentioned before quincy kills vincent that he's severely injured- vincent says it's fine- ig u could intepret it as a finishing blow?#hastened over the phaethon announcement- when they make the second announcement quincy looks up smiling until the admin gives it to #beatrix-he didn't know.. // <- so for this it's possible to infer that vincent wasn't very attached to living anymore.. hence why they look #more accepting above. while quincy is looking very angsty and conflicted. yeah.. // tldr! don't look into it too deeply it's a meme redraw #adamandi #quincy cynthius martin #vincent aurelius lin #tw knife

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worstloki · 16 days

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Mu Qing with a giant anti-horse sword while everyone else gets to use conventionally sized weapons like regular length swords and fans 🤝 Ling Wen as a civil official having the brocade immortal making her strong enough to rival martial ones

#sometimes people make Feng Xin’s bow huge probably for poetic reasons but let’s be real #mu qing is objectively funny #like he’s seriously using a 3m long weapon. how is he even carrying that around #he’s not 3m tall it’s taller than him if he sticks it to his back #this stuff is hilarious #mu qing objectively so funny #imagine being Xie Lian and Feng Xin and youRE just sweating like ‘haha don’t mind him everyone he wasn’t raised the same way... haha’#and it’s some guy using cavalry weapons on regular opponents #I don’t think mu qing is a recluse I think the other generals get along with him fine #and I think they have an agreement to not question the strange weapon because it’s not like he has any issue using it fine???#it’s just a wild decision #it’s allowed it’s just very strange #not illegal or forbidden or anything. no one else is doing it tho #iconic tbh #I don’t recall anyone else doing this sort of thing #Xie Lian has Ruoye but the ribbon isn’t strictly a weapon and isn’t alarming to have around generally #tgcf #do you think Feng Xin gets annoyed about the giant sword #like come on I know you could be using a normal saber stop showing off???#he and Ling Wen would get along well I think #good for them both tbh #both came from low standing and all #they deserve to slay.... just a little........#you could argue Ming Yi’s shovel isn’t conventional but I fear that’s a moot point

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crimsongrimoire · 1 year

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hi ive been sick so of course that means ive been thinking about kaeya being sick and sooo pathetic about it again

#crow.txt #kaeluc #genshin #snippets #fluff #slowly chipping away at this even more. Ugh #tbh the bulk of this was written like. last night and just now. i was letting the thoughts microwave with my weird intermittent fever #literally got two vaccines at once and got attacked by a secret third thing (the common cold for the first time in like 4 years)#it was somehow the best week i couldve picked to just COMPLETELY miss work apparently so its fine i guess #sidebote dont try to do taxes while sick. i didnt end up completing them but it was funny i even thought i was capable #is this comprehensivle is this legible idk i just want to make kaeya be miserable and forced to let someone take care of him abt it #that is soup for Me. in my Soul.#kaeya be like 'wtf treating me like a little kid' when he said he wanted to be taken care of in the summer event like 2 yrs ago #other people may have forgotten but i have Not i will Never. this man will complain about having adult responsibilities #and then when someone tries to take care of him or do things for him out of kindness hes like HAHA WAIT NOW HOLD ON-#little fool make up your mind. why are you so everything always #kaeya be like relying on someone for something under no guise of professional matters? in MY life? i dont think so #(diluc jean lisa and rosaria will remember this (and not let him get away with it))#and klee too but like shes little baby she doesnt even understand any of this and he would feel extremely mean rejecting kindness from #a little kid. so sometimes she brings him her funny little toast for breakfast and he says awwww thank you :)

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maeamian · 2 years

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No disrespect I get where those posts are coming from, but a bit of self deprecating humor can be good for you actually. It can help you not take yourself too seriously or help deflect from awkward situations. It's a good idea not to like, believe it very hard or anything, and it definitely can't be the centerpiece of your joke-telling, but it's a delightful spice to sometimes tell your friends "I do not think" when they all know you're lying.

It's hard to do like, a prescriptive rule about it, which is why it's probably easier to start from the position of "Don't" and work backwards, but I think a better place to end up in than never being able to poke fun at yourself is where you can tell some self-depreciating jokes about yourself without believing them, and you have to figure out for yourself what the best way to get there is.

#IDK like for me a lot my life has been about the expectation of being 'smart'#in the sense that I've got a strong intuition for math and physical processes #so being able to sometimes relieve that pressure by saying 'haha I'm a dumb dumb' is great #It doesn't make me believe it but it does help me in managing my own expectations #It opens the doorway for failing to be okay if that makes sense #Anyhow just see those posts going around all the time #And I think they're a good starting point but a bad ending point as it were #Be nice to yourself but that can include poking fun at yourself if you do it responsibly I guess?#IDK my dad's side of the family had a lot of very playful teasing that was mixed in with lots of real love #And in my opinion that worked better than never being able to joke about yourself or family members #The love's important tho #Like in a family context it meant 'their love is not conditional on my successes' as much as it meant 'we know what won't actually hurt'#It's the same reason playful friend dickishness is cool but only if you've got the relationship where it works first #Gotta get to a place where you can be playfully dickish towards yourself if you find a spot it'll be funny in #But only where it won't actually affect your relationship with yourself as it were

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sysig · 2 years

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What if DAX was a cat (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #DAX #ZEX #The Captain #I don't know lol #I just thought it'd be funny and I still think that #Obviously I was inspired by VUX turning into different species - usually human but hey cat isn't /that/ far off! Right? Yeahhhh #But then also thinking about how DAX especially prefers to cover one eye and then I was like #Wait. It's not uncommon for cats to have just one eye anyway - from fighting or birth defects or what have you #So just put him in a cat body like that lol #I guess it'd have to be a ''birth'' defect or else he'd have switched bodies with a cat?? No he's just a cat lol #I also thought he'd suit a cat because he's very aloof and opinionated and sometimes petty and wants attention but in subtle ways haha #He's very catlike!#It was mostly the middle minicomic idea - DAX specifically going out of his way to knock the Captain's glass off a table - that convinced me #''Oh that was yours was it oh well'' lol #It's the Garfield pipe comic all over again haha #I also thought ZEX would get something of a kick out of it - his Sub-Commander keeps turning into weird creatures! Lol #Of course DAX would pick his favourite person of the two of them very easily #''I only want to sit in the lap of and be pet by one person and it's not the Captain'' so mercurial haha #ZEX is only too happy to get more time with the small fluffy creature - the Captain knows cats already it's fine if ZEX gets a little extra!#Little conspirator haha

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silverselfshippingchaos · 1 year

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m.axi thoughts. they don't stop, huh?

#okay but theyve never stopped- ive liked this guy since i was a very small ash aksjaksj #he's just so... 😳 yeah #he's so handsome and funny and cute.. and he's so strong! he's a little dumb but i love that about him too!#i've been thinking about them in the 5th game a lot #so much older now and theyve sorta sorted through everything. ash has her guy back. theyre both pretty messed up from #(gestures to the previous games) but theyre together #also you know how his aging slowed down bcs of the cursed sword? yeah ash doesnt have that shit going on #she very much looks like a woman in her 40s- the kids (l.exia x.iba and n.atsu) are all :O when she mumbles that hes actually older #i especially love thinking about them at night. their cuddles are so soft. ash has a scar on her back from a.staroth #and sometimes he just gets lost in the past seeing that scar #he thinks about everything he lost. and ash just holds him #oh but mostly theyre just the cool aunt and uncle in 5- love that for them. they had more than enough angst in the 4th game LMAO #oh okay alright real quick. story time. okay so i have a m.axi keychain on my bag (i'm gonna add my k.ilik and x.ianghua one too!)#(gotta complete the trio! s.c4 may have separated them but im better than that! muahaha!)#and this guy stops me and is like 'o shit is that maxi?' 'oh haha yeah! hes my favorite 🥰'#and the guy just looks at me for a second. then looks all disappointed. 'oh.. oh youre a m.axi main..'#yes??? so sorry if hes annoying to play against- hes so fun! anyways @that random stranger #not only do i play him #i smooch him too 🤭#(i didnt say that part out loud)#anyways where was i #right. m.axi. what a guy am i right?#oh and dont even get me started on his voice-#we're down bad this afternoon!#i love him so much akdjqksj he really is the funky pirate guy of my dreams #ash rambles 💚#okay yeah this one was actually a ramble LMAO

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astrxealis · 1 year

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"get off my chair, jester. the king sits there."

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxv ໒꒱ *·˚#god. with all of its imperfections i still definitely love ffxv so goddamn much.#the last half of the game is really uhm yeah but also? yeah? still love it. especially because of the chocobros..........#the game really makes you attached through them throughout your journey and wow there really is a lot to be improved with ffxv #and yeah i know the dlc content (haven't played properly them though) but i suppose yeah hmm my experience with ffxv #is better than those who waited... so many years for it. as i only got into it sometime 2018/2019. and then as a kid i didn't know the #criticism people had about xv and it was one of the first games that i actually went really far into? and then i was really obsessed so.#yeah i ended up knowing dlc content lol but i think my young mind not thinking as critically as i do right now is one big reason as to why #i really enjoyed xv! i had no expectations and no outside influence. so it was absolutely amazing.#even then i could see the imperfections but. yeah. anyways uh what was the point of this post.#RIGHT. man i really love noct and prom and gladio and iggy. idk. they all mean so much to me.#the campfire makes me so sad and then noct's words to his friends at the end and just. wow. yeah.#fun fact when fighting against the final boss? i was able to call upon a summon and that was really fucking funny to me because #heyy yeah garuda (?) haha thank you for helping me bring his health down to half and oops okay wow quickly next phase time!

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averlym · 9 months

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"careful, or i'll quote that"

#adamandi #was going to be normal but then this scene popped into my head and played on loop and like #guys this scene just makes me Miserable. they're so friends now they're so happy and funny and then later in the show #she manipulates him and he tries to kill her and like. my god beatrix vincent friendship. omg.#im so. it kills me. i realise these arent the most accurate character styles but i Had to get it out. oh my god. literally the other day i #i was like ''oh haha im not going to directly draw scenes from the show im going to be Thinky and Extra'' but no actually sometimes the #the scenes from the show just hit. this line the delivery the Situations it kills me. im so hnnghghf about them #something also maybe about rewatching media knowing the whole plot and the extra Tragedy it all brings also. like to know the ending will #break your heart (but be also some sort of stunning catharsis) and to watch it all!!! again!!!! aaagh.#fun facts about the first time i watched adamandi proper after looking through the tumblrs and half-spoiling it for myself.. i went in with #the strangest assumptions of portia dies/ vincent makes a virus that kills the other nominees instead of actually stabby stabby and the #new invented biological thing would make him the winner a-la frankenstein style //. quincy cuts off his hand????? i am not sure where any #of these came from T-T but im glad i was wrong on literally every count.#miscellaneous brainrots from re-watching.. in the very very start i think vincent is wearing a mask in word to the wise?? like it was probs #a covid safety thing but it makes me go teehee for some reason. like the whole infectious thing was foreshadowed LMAO (approx 35 seconds in #also the balloons. and the admin. and the balloons. the way it's horrific and the balloons gently rain down #and you can see them bounce in the stunned silence. ooo that little detail. what a moment.#also at this point? i have been noticing the little inconsistencies in actions btwn shots but a) they're not seeable unless you're looking #Closely like i was for specific moments as references.. and b) it makes u think about the inconsistency of theatre as a medium and how nth #is ever delivered the same two ways which is really just !!!! to me. smth smth so so many ways to intepret characters and how everything is #always in flux every single cycle. theatre medium my beloved.#last side note from now: i am so abnormal about the marmorius society members who were phaethon nominees in their own right and instead #perished helping ambrose with HIS project. like. that is some sort of love there isn't it? like???? yes they're all bullies and awful but.#i've been reaching tag limit really quickly with all the recent posts. rambles i guess. so so many thoughts. well actual tags now i guess!#vincent aurelius lin #beatrix valeria campbell

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augustinewrites · 8 months

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“itadori, please respect his personal space—”

“kugisaki! stop hitting him—”

“megumi, don’t you dare bring that elephant out in my classroom—”

peace and quiet is short-lived whenever the first years are around.

you manage to quiet them down with the threat of assigning an essay, allowing you a moment’s respite to massage your temples and lean back in your seat, glancing at your phone to check just how many minutes you have left with them.

a notification pops up as you do, bringing on a whole new headache.

[satoru]: send nudes?

you quickly turn your phone over so it’s screen-down, face burning as you look around to make sure no one had seen.

peace and quiet is also short-lived whenever satoru calls out sick. because the strongest sorcerer of your time…currently has a cold.

he is, predictably, very dramatic whenever he’s sick. a mild fever means he puts himself on bedrest. a sore throat means he needs to be spoon fed a very specific homemade soup.

but the worst…oh, the worst is when he has a cold.

when satoru’s sinuses are clogged, he’s an absolute menace to deal with. his sneezes shake the apartment and his whines about sinus pressure are all you hear at the dinner table.

luckily, the students have resorted to quietly bothering each other, so you slowly turn your phone back around to deal with the man child who is likely littering the living room floor with tissues.

he’s stuck at home, which means he’s got nothing to do but annoy you.

[satoru]: haha jk

[satoru]: unless…?

huffing, you quickly type back a response.

[you]: NOT funny. i’m at work.

[satoru]: so what you’re saying is you’ll send them during lunch right ;)

“miss!” itadori shouts, his arm raised. “can fushiguro come to the arcade with us after class?”

“of course,” you say. “but please don’t forget to finish your essays on cursed technique origins. it’s due on monday.”

yuuji’s practically bouncing in his seat as he grabs megumi’s arm. hear that, fushiguro? you hear as you pick up your phone. your mom said yes!

megumi, who usually comes home on the weekends, still looks to you for approval. you assure him with a small nod and smile.

sometimes you just want to wrap him up in your arms and never let go. he may have been another couple’s blessing, but ultimately he’s yours and gojo’s pride and joy. possibly the only one you have left, as it stands.

thought you’re a little sad that he won’t be home for dinner tonight, you remind yourself that he’s growing up. for as long as you’ve known him, he’s always been a sort of lone wolf. but a lone wolf is still a wolf, and a wolf needs a pack.

he’s finally found friends he’s comfortable with, and it’s good that he wants to spend time with them and vice versa.

your phone buzzes insistently in your hand.

[satoru]: pleeeeeaaaase?

[satoru]: i think it’ll really help with my recovery…

[satoru]: if this cold kills me the last thing i want to see is a picture of you

oh, that’s actually kind of—

[satoru]: nude, preferably

maybe it’s a good thing megumi won’t be home tonight. you don’t need any witnesses to the crime you’re about to commit.

[you]: what’ll help with your recovery is a visit to the infirmary.

there’s a short pause, then you watch the little bubble appear and disappear about six times.

[satoru]: shit

[satoru]: is this a scene?

you roll your eyes, waving at the kids as they head out to catch the train.

[you]: i hate you

he doesn’t answer, so you get up to hurry over to your office, shutting and locking the door behind you.

you wait a moment, opening the camera on your phone as you do so.

once the sound of footsteps echoing through the hall disappears, you start unbuttoning the first few buttons of your shirt—

you scream when a loud sneeze startles you, satoru suddenly appearing at your side.

he doesn’t miss a beat, plucking a tissue from your desk and blowing his nose loudly. he throws it in the general direction of the bin before slapping his palm onto your desk.

you can tell he’s attempting to be some sort of seductive, but it’s dampened bu the way he sniffles loudly, his face a little red.

“hello, doctor,” he says, a lazy grin spread across his face. “i’m here for my physical.”

“honey,” you laugh, gently cupping the sides of his face. “you need to rest.”

“but ‘m not tired,” he pouts, leaning in to nose at your neck. his skin is warm against yours, much too warm for your liking.

you tangle your fingers in his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. “since i’m your doctor, i’m prescribing a nap.”

“a nap does sound kind of nice…”

he gets up, taking your hand and dragging you over to the couch with him. he locks you within his embrace, sighing contentedly as he presses you to his chest.

“wait, satoru i have to supervise the second years’ training—”

it’s too late. he’s already asleep, snoring loudly in your ear.

so you take out your phone and text nanami, asking if he can cover for you this afternoon.

because a sick satoru is a needy satoru, and you won’t be leaving this couch for a while.

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #keeping up with the fushigojos

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weirdmageddon · 9 months

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i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

#homestuck #homestuck meta #dave strider #mom lalonde #roxy lalonde #hs #strilonde guardian swap

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unhingedgirlythings · 2 months

Text

FUCK IT

SUMMERY : Reader gets her date interrupted when Hotch calls up asking for her to get to the BAU. Reader rushes over still dressed up and a certain dr can’t keep her eyes off her teehee.

Tags:fem reader , a huge amount of awkwardness, reader is over her love life

A/N: I WANTED AWKWARD SPENCER REID, bare with me tho cuz I haven’t written a fanfic since I was 13 and it was horrible so please be kind and let me know your thoughts :))) enjoyyy.

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You were used to your phone ringing at the WORST possible times, I mean with your job that was something you just had to prepare yourself for. Serial killers don’t take a break just so you can have a girls night out or take a nice relaxing bath after a long day. Although never in your life did you imagine the wave of relief that would wash over you as the all too familiar ringtone blared from your phone. Normally you would groan and feel your body grow more exhausted whilst hesitantly picking up the phone, but not tonight. Nope. Fortunately for hotch, you couldn’t have answered the phone faster. “what’s up” low and behold hotch was on the other end requesting your presence ASAP!

You tried to hide your glee as you glanced over at the douche-ist blind date that the great quote on quote “matchmaker” of the century Garcia, had raved on about the week before. To be fair the date didn’t start off bad, it was actually the most decent one you’ve had yet. Honestly you were ready to finally praise Penelope for actually finding you a decent man to take your mind off the unrequited school girl crush that you had on a certain “kid” genius. somehow you escaped the dude who clearly was stuck in some frat boy mindset, well not without some snarky comment made towards you which you shut down a little harsher then needed but seriously you couldn’t hold back anymore, you had no idea what possessed Penelope into thinking you would EVER consider going home with the king of fucking douchebags (most likely the biceps and tight clothing that the man sported). Nevertheless here you were speeding down the freeway, thinking way too hard about your love life completely blanking and forgetting to drop by your apartment to quickly change into something more work appropriate.

Before you knew it you’ve parked your car, walking into the cold air. A shiver runs down your body and the shock hits you when you realize. Here you are in a little skimpy black dress that clings to your curves in “just the right way” according to Penelope before shoving you out into your car heading to that horrible excuse of a date, “ahh shit. Fucken seriously! Of course this is just my luck … I mean at least I look good” groaning and mumbling to yourself, you make your way into the building. You knew Hotch would be understanding, I mean you never know when you’re gonna be called in and it sounded urgent so yeah, sometimes you and your coworkers walk in with inappropriate work wear. You will never forget the time he called everyone in at god knows what time, Spencer had walked into the room with his pjs sporting a fluffy dress robe, you seriously thought someone was going to have to perform cpr on you that night.

Walking into the building in heels was definitely a pain in your ass, but you managed as you pushed the briefing room door open. A low wolf whistle from Derek Morgan was the last thing you needed right now “damn sweetheart, who knew you could clean up so nicely“ As you make your way into the room, you playfully roll your eyes at him.“haha very funny” you cringed as everyone’s attention was now drawn to you. while taking a seat next to JJ, wishing to be wearing literally anything else “Sorry Hotch, i came straight from..” you hesitate for a second, glancing around before continuing “A date, but this sounded important so I didn’t have time to change”The stoned faced man simply nods at you “It’s fine. You're here, right now we have a lot to cover” He starts debriefing the team, leaving no detail out of the case, no matter how brutal, you tried your hardest to give him your unwavering attention, but you could feel someone’s eyes on you. And out of the corner of your eye see him. Spencer.

His stare was hot and intense, and fuck was it making you become a flustered mess. You glanced at him from your peripheral trying your best to be subtle about it, it was getting harder and harder to focus on Hotch and the case, not Reid. But when his puppy dog eyes drifted up, down and all over your body, your body involuntarily reacted, slightly squirming in your seat. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes turn and lock onto his gorgeous brown ones, a smirk graces your lips as he finally notices your eyes now on him. Looking like a kid being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he turns pink from the embarrassment and shame of being caught, and god did that make your head spin. Now it was his turn to awkwardly squirm in his seat while staring at Hotch with all his attention. You giggle under your breath at his fumbling awkwardness. Before you know it everyone around you starts to pack up their things and stand up, leaving you confused. Of course you spent the whole debriefing paying so little attention to the case and more on Spencer.

Sighing, you pull the hem of your dress down as you stand trying to save yourself from even more embarrassment. “soooo how did it go? Was he as yummy as you’d hoped?” Garcia wraps her arms around yours as you try not to stumble down the stairs towards your desk “you, my love are officially banned from meddling in my love life” you could already hear the trail of complaints bouncing around in her head as you plopped down onto your desk chair, reaching for the new case folder hoping to catch yourself up before take off in the morning “aww come on I for sure thought you’d be jumping his bones, all those rippling muscles, who In Their right mind could resist” the thought of the man you had seen a few hours prior put a foul taste in your mouth, causing your face to scrunch up in disgust “he was a complete dick, he legit referred to himself as an “alpha male” AN ALPHA ,Only thing I wanted to jump , was off a building at that point” a defeated look from her was all the conformation you needed, no longer were you going on blind dates, and your love life was back to being non existent and sad “sorry Pen I tried, I really really tried, you just have horrific taste in men like my god do we need to get you some help. These guys are basically human garbage” whilst looking up your eyes naturally drift and settle on Spencers desk frowning as you watch him, his heads buried in the case file whilst obsessively jotting down notes like some multitasking god, your heart couldn’t help but pine after his more, the looks you shared moments before didn’t help your case either. Resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you drag your eyes away trying to spare yourself from going into one of your Spencer Reid spirals. You look up at Penelope already disliking the pitiful look she was giving you “are you sure your ready to give up?, I mean I know this cute guy who would be super into you, he's just your type “the new voice startled you, turning in your seat you’re met with Emily smirking down at you whilst leaning against your desk inserting herself into the conversation with JJ beside her “wow ok fun, are we all just gonna just dive head first into my personal life?, don’t we have a case to work on?” trying to deter the subject of the conversation off of you was a bust, as the women you call friends gleam down at you with a shared look “yeah no this is too entertaining to sit out on.” you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation right now, letting out a groan you leaned back in your chair covering your face in hopes of hiding the redness in your cheeks “sweetheart, what you need is a good ol one night stand, get a certain pretty boy out of your system” if you weren’t already melting into a puddle of embarrassment, you definitely were now “Morgan shut up please for the love of everything holy”

you could only pray Spencer wasn’t paying attention to the little group that was forming at your desk, maybe he was being good and reading the case file like the rest of them should be doing but of course luck wasn’t in your favor tonight “what are we talking about?” Before you could shut the whole conversation down Morgan happily answered Spencer “oh, we were just discussing Y/L/N’s love life. I think she needs a good root, what do you think?” that stupid smirk Morgan was happily wearing was enough to make your blood boil, now you truly wished to disappear “ok ok that’s enough” you shoot up from your seat avoiding any eye contact with Spencer not wanting to see his reaction to your humiliating red face “conversation over, my love life is going back to being non existent, thank you for your concern but it’s over, officially dead so no more talking about it.” you snatch the file off your desk ready to get the hell out of whatever situation you found yourself in “i'm going home to at least get some sleep before we leave tomorrow or I’ll be a zombie all day” with that you hastily made your way out of the building and into the cool night air once again.

wrapping your arms around yourself in hopes to provide some warmth, you slowly make your way to the car park. Before you could make it to your car you could hear foot steps getting closer and closer until they were right behind you, stopping along with yours once you had reached front of your car. Quickly spinning around you slam them onto the car's hood, arm in your hand, face down and pinned.

“Ow ow ow ow Ow!” Shit. It was Spencer. The man you’ve been daydreaming about and here you were pinning him to the hood of your car. “oh shit sorry, my god, don’t walk up on me like that holy shit Spence you scared me” you pull away off him whilst letting go of his arm and backing away a little. Spencer lets out a hiss of pain as he pushes himself off the hood, rubbing his arm to try and relieve the pain “sorry I was just trying to make sure you got to your car safely. It’s late a-and” he looks at your dress whilst clearing his throat looking away awkwardly “are you ok? you seemed upset in there” he looks back at you whilst giving you a smile that made you wanna pass away on the spot “yeah I’m ok, just having your dating life put on full blast in front of the team like that can be a tad embarrassing” silence was the only response you were met with, you glance up at Spencer trying to think of something, anything to say in this moment “you look really nice by the way, it’s unfortunate your date turned out that way.” His eyes meet yours, your breath gets caught in your throat as heat creeps up your neck to your face “t-thanks” tugging on the hem of your dress you smile sheepishly “not the most comfortable outfit, honestly wish Pen let me wear my sweater but you know”

“Penelope” you both say, you giggle as Spencer chuckles. “Oh by the way, I thought you may want these, may help a little tomorrow” he hands you the notes he took from the briefing, Your fingertips brush against his, the feeling of warmth from his hands sends a shiver down your spine. “Thanks Spence. I appreciate it” you stand there longer than needed before you start to turn away from him. “You know, that even though there aren't any hard statistics, it’s roughly estimated that every 1 in 3 or 4 blind dates actually end up as a success” he rambles on, looking back at him you try to pay attention but you can’t stop your eyes from sifting down towards his lips “so there is a chance” his voice fades away as his words become background noise and your thoughts become louder and louder, all you could think about was him, the feeling of wanting only grew stronger with each passing minute. It didn’t help that his lips were tempting you, calling you in. you couldn’t hold yourself back much longer, will power growing weaker and weaker “fuck it” your body moves before commen sense had its time to put a stop to whatever ridiculous thoughts you had muster up, suddenly your lips press onto his without thinking it through. It was short and one sided yet sweet, the faint taste of coffee and sugar overwhelmed your senses

The sudden realization hits you hard as you push yourself off Reid, the feelings of regret and fear settles itself in your stomach making you feel sick “Sorry I wasn’t thinking, shit sorry, forget that happened ok” you back away keeping your eyes glued to the ground in fear that you’ll look up and only see rejection written on his face. What in the hell possessed you to do that?, why the fuck did you do that, the only reason you kept your feelings shoved down was to protect your friendship with Spencer, nothing meant more to you then the bond you both shared and now you’ve ruined it and for what? A stupid kiss? “wait, uh No no it was just unexpected I didn’t hate it actually quite the opposite” your head snaps back up at a red faced flustered Spencer Reid “don't apologize“ his warm hands warp around your cold ones as he steps closer to you once again “did you um maybe want to try that again? Only if you want to though I don’t want you to regret anything” you giggle as he starts to nervously stumble over his words, this time more confident in your actions your lips find his for the second time tonight.

The taste of coffee meets your lips again as your body relaxes into the kiss, which is very reciprocated this time. The warmth radiating from Spencer chases the cold night air away. As your bodies shuffle closer together. you both hesitantly pull away from each, you wanted to stay here in this moment for as long as possible but of course your bed was calling your name along with the early flight departure. “I should go” you really didn’t want to “I know“ his hands stayed on your waist for a moment before slipping away “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” the sweet look on his face drove you crazy, the urge to say fuck it and stay with him for the remainder of the night was overpowered by the sleepless night before, you settle for placing a goodnight kiss on his cheek instead “night Spence” winking you open your car door and make your way in, you turn the car on and roll the window down to call out to him as he backs away with a smug smirk on his face “sweet dreams pretty boy” with that you drive away replaying the events of tonight in your mind, god you couldn’t wait to get the case over with so you could finally have a date that wasn’t going to end in ruins, especially with the man you’ve been crushing on since your first day, yeah no you weren’t going to get any sleep tonight now.

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!readr #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds x reader

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