#something something lesbian loneliness

[buildabot]

The Well of Loneliness, Radclyffe Hall / Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

#something something lesbian loneliness #the well of loneliness #little women #mine

[maddy-ferguson]

women will literally accuse women and esp lesbian circles of "not unpacking ""man-hating""" alleged ""misandry" sweetie xo" getting offended ppl aren't appropriately uplifting how "men are amazing and awesome and attractive and i won't be shamed for thinking so" as if appreciating men is a real counter opinion than blame whatever gave women of every sexuality instance to be jaded weary cautious and tired and who'll complain every now and then and continue on with her life until she dies putting up with patriarchy. just welcome to the "woke" internet where misogyny's over and "man-hate" "shamed for not hating men" is worth springing to defences for

yeah i've only seen people talk like men's rights activists and think they're being unbelievably progressive on tumblr it's kind of fascinating. like i can see how seeing people hate on men could mess with people and stuff but you can't demand men appreciation posts that's literally the whole world outside of idk your tumblr dash (or even on your tumblr dash because fandom misogyny from people who think they're not misogynistic at all is really something). men get praised for "babysitting" their own kids like be serious? it's very let men be masculine

i don't think being like men are soooo gross and we hate them is actually constructive and it can definitely veer into transphobia (you'll always be a man/"a male" and thus a danger to women/why would you ever want to become a man they're the enemy and the bane of society etc) and homophobia relatively quickly?

but the way people ON TUMBLR ""combat that"" is often so off to me like if the most basic feminist principles offend you then i'm not really sure where to go from here. i remember seeing a post that was like "men aren't your enemy. they're your friend/brother/father/colleague/neighbor" with a lot of notes and like i don't know how to tell you this but that's literally who's most likely to harm a woman, the men she knows?😭 and obviously not every system of oppression is exactly the same but would you say the same thing to someone criticizing white people like...just very weird

i think women who are attracted to men and dating them making jokes about how they only tolerate being attracted to men because they have no choice and especially the whole i'm bi so i love every woman and only find 1 in a 1000 men attractive (very often said while in a relationship with a man) thing is obnoxious and annoying for like everyone who has to hear it lmao but also when women who date men make jokes about it (not about them being ugly or unattractive or whatever but about them being bad partners in general) it's like. what else are they going to do like you said they're gonna endure patriarchy for the rest of their lives and as girlfriends/wives/mothers they go through the most it's very bleak? idk. it's not like you can date a better man yourself out of patriarchy

of course men aren't a all as bad as the worst guy you can imagine and they're not all out to get you or whatever but saying things like "men don't all benefit from the patriarchy rich men benefit from the patriarchy but jake, 23, is not oppressing you" is like. kind of insane. jake, 14, was oppressing me like have you never interacted with boys in school😭 and it's not like it was entirely their fault we all have to outgrow misogyny it's just you know society etc but some of them never outgrow it lmao and just...the takes you see on feminism on tumblr are astounding i hate it here

#and like i do think that young guys who feel bad about themselves only having people who make them feel worse and who actively make them #worse like incels and idk youtube algorithms to turn to is a problem but like. again it's the same thing as white people who feel bad about #being white to me in a way like are women and GIRLS supposed to coddle them and say it's gonna be okay you're great even when they're #like actually harming them by being misogynistic to them? that's already what they're taught to do always #the notes on that male loneliness epidemic post i reblogged a few weeks ago still haunt me like OH MY GOD #and if you think misogyny isn't as prevalent anymore you're very naive. and probably misogynistic yourself #i'm not even sure young men being more feminist is true (well it's probably true when you compare it to like the 50s) but even #when men ARE like yeah women shouldn't have to do everything i can help with chores (the use of the word help is already a red flag lmao) #when you look at what they actually do they still do way less like i don't have links because these are tags on a tumblr ask but i read #somewhere that men think chores are 50/50 when they're only doing like 30% of the work? like it just seems hopeless #sometimes i'm happy and then i think about the mental load #sorry for not uplifting men 24/7 you can just hang out on the steve harrington tag or something there's actually a lot of people doing that #when someone said um does the ronance fandom not seem terfy to you...because of a post that was like can the lesbian ship ronance #be about the lesbian ship ronance not about steve A MAN #like you can't make this up #i meant it when i said the average tumblr user would benefit from being exposed to more misogyny like i swear they forget it's even a thing #like obviously they wouldn't BENEFIT from it lmao but their posts wouldn't be as dumb and that would benefit me🙏 #ask

[snowangeldotmp3]

thinking....

#this is really just a test to see how this looks #something something robin and lesbian loneliness idk im too tired to make a cohesive thought about it #i loveeee being sad about robin tho #i have Plans for this #robin buckley #and also robin's loneliness and isolation that she talks about in her podcast + the book. but mostly the podcast

[discoidal]

i just finished penance by eliza clark and i have thoughts that can only be communicated out loud in person through speech with an accompanying slideshow of pics of me in maxi skirts from 5th to 10th grade

#i liked it :)) #do yall have thoughts #also finished something that may shock and discredit you by daniel m lavery it is also very very good for me #started on bunny by mona awad not liking it very much so far. #trying to do more longform fiction.. the era of the short story is OVER! i have an attention span and the ability to read now! #by ''do'' i mean read btw im only capable of writing poetry and short stories at the moment #OH also finished mortal trash by kim addonizio and my lesbian experience with loneliness by nagata kabi #couldnt get thru tampa by alissa nutting #what else have i read this year... pretty mug just those and mostly within the last 2 weeks btw #mug* = much #different form of media but ive also watched until ep7 of dungeon meshi i like it very much it is mostly chill and there is a lot of food po #rn and thats always my fav part in books and movies anyways #also finished mentopolis.. havent caught up on fhsy.. rewatching neverafter to sleep on and off

[asshole-rebel-psycho]

Normally I don't post faces because of privacy and morals but these are the guys bi girls choose over hot lesbians! These guys! lmao

Gurl, no wonder why you are still shopping. You are with "Norm the Pizza Delivery Dude" from "There's Something about Mary".

#help #loneliness #gay dating #lesbian dating #bisexuality #bi girls #enm #polyamory #poly #bumble #tinder #unicorn hunters #theres something about mary #comedy #lmao #metal heads

[darkprincecait]

Dad bluntly asked me today if I needed a companion and/or wanted to try dating apps. Even he knows.

#cait rambles #something has to change #lesbian loneliness #it sucks

[vimceite]

Y'know, i'd say that i'm currently "re-reading Demian" but frankly i just wanted to read Eva's chapter again

#vimcei.text. #kind of suggestive text i guess?? #<-for the pne on the right #rereading it right after reading “my lesbian experience with loneliness” also adds to it. i think thwres something wrong with me . #but im not unpacking all of that #“and thats the topic for another video” as the guy says or whatever

[violentlysapphic]

i try to let pride poke its head through all of my cracks. every missing spot painted over in pink white and orange as if all my lesbian flag colored jewelry will fill the emptiness this identity brings. but they’re just colors and painting over something doesn’t make it go away. the loneliness remains, its ingrained in every part of me and i feel it everywhere i go. im reminded of it when my friends gush about their crushes on boys. i’m reminded of it when my mother talks of my future boyfriend. i’m reminded of it when i find a girl attractive and i’m reminded of it when i feel nothing for the guys that like me.

most days i carry the lesbian label with grace but what no one knows is how many nights i spend wishing i could be normal. all my attempts at liking boys leave me feeling worn out.

#something ive been working on #prose poetry #prose poem #lesbian #sapphic #wlw #wlw poetry #lesbian poetry #lesbian loneliness #internalized lesbophobia #poetry #writing #pride

[kjell-e]

Just finished Our Dreams at Dusk by Yūki Kamatani and tbh I don’t know if I will ever be ok again

#our dreams at dusk #shimanami tasogare #the last time I felt that much was when I read my lesbian experience with loneliness #seems like queer art is the last thing that makes me feel something

[biromanticbookbabe]

#okay so I looked up something on Radclyffe Hall and Virginia Woolf and the site gave me this poem #it's part of the site's function to do that btw #talk about saying girl you've arrived #it's a self love/acceptance poem #for those who don't know Radclyffe Hall wrote the 1928 Lesbian Classic The Well of Loneliness #she got major shit for it from the English public #including censorship which lasted until almost a decade after her death #Virginia Woolf and the bloomsbury Circle attempted to defend her in the name of freedom of expression #also you know Woolf was bisexual and Hall was a lesbian so she was trying to defend her in that way #it was 1920s sapphic solidarity #I'm probably going to do my next paper on them and I have a few other ideas #so prepare to hear about both of them a lot in the coming few months #love after love #derek walcott #poem #do you believe in signs? #someone is saying hey girl for sure #what a nice poem <3 #it's also saying go for it #my tags for this probably make no sense oh well

[snowangeldotmp3]

'i don't belong here' is poking at my curiosity pls 👀

hi dot!! <3

'i don't belong here' is a one shot i wanted to write a few months ago (and never got around to lol) and this post here from like 2 months ago is from the wip hehe.

basically: based on radiohead's creep, bc nobody knows that song better than a sad lesbian. idk i was feeling Sad and Lonely and needed to get it out before it ate me alive. so i decided to put robin through it as well. she feels like a creep for staring at nancy at a dnd game they'd all been roped into, but nancy is staring back, and robin's been feeling like even more of an outsider lately. i wanted to also play with robin's "my whole life feels like one big error" from season 3 and her lines from the podcast that are like "what if there's something about me that drives people away?" and the other line where she talks about there being something rotted inside of her.

that got longer than i thought. anyway, here's some stuff from that wip!

Robin’s dilemma is that Nancy won’t stop staring at her. She can feel Nancy’s stare on her, how it’s lighting her aflame and her body burns under Nancy’s stare. Robin refuses to look at her, to look back at her. Which is funny, because most of the time Robin can’t tear her eyes away from Nancy. Which… always makes Robin feel…weird. Gross. Like it’s Tammy Thompson all over again. She couldn’t help but stare, either, which was the worst part. Nancy was…for lack of a better word, gorgeous. Robin wished she could think of a better word, one that was better suited for Nancy, with her wild brunette curls and her big doe eyes and her determination and the way she can handle a gun and the way that her face scrunches up as she considers what choices Eddie’s laid out for the Party. It feels like the reverse of ‘I wanted her to look at me,’ because Nancy is indeed, looking, and it’s all Robin can do to not shrink further and further into the folding chair she’s in. Normally, she isn’t so intimidated by this. Robin and Nancy have been hanging out recently, too, and Robin’s learned the many micro expressions of Nancy Wheeler. This look, it feels different. Robin really doesn’t know how to explain it, she’s seen a similar look on Nancy’s face, but that one usually comes with knitted brows and a scowl. This one is free from that, Nancy’s face remains blank, unreadable. It’s almost a soft, yet still terrifying, intense stare; a contradiction in its own right, but one that perfectly describes her. This isn’t the first time Nancy’s eyes have burned into Robin, either, if her calculations are correct (which they are) this is the fourth time she’s caught Nancy staring at her this week. And it’s only Thursday.

#got mail! 📩 #fastcardotmp3 #ronance #something something lesbian loneliness and feeling weird and alienated bc of a crush. u know how it is. #oh and also Sadness. #writing some of this brought back a lot of what i'd felt in high school abt being one of the only lesbians and trying not to have a crush #and failing miserably. and trying to keep it low on the radar lol

[catboykacchan]

.

#20 years on this planet several breakdowns one intervention and med treatment period and im still this bad at being alive #like how do people just do it #where is the support group for people who LITERALLY literally cant do anything have no talents and physically/mentally cant bear uni #like everyone says yes i get you i feel this way too and yeah i dont want to undermine anyone's feelings but EVERY person who has said this #has SOMETHING #that i dont #even that manga lady who wrote my lesbian experience with loneliness and gets me on a very personal level had her art she was making manga #when will it end #vent #vent post #if you are someone who knows me irl and come to me dms like nooo this is not true plz dont i just might block u

[17timesananus]

All I want in the whole world is to put my head in the lap of someone who loves me and have them play with my hair and scratch my head and rub my back until I fall asleep.

#chit chats #it’s not often but sometimes I am crushed by the weight of my own loneliness #it’s hard to feel like you’re on your own side #and that no one else is in your corner #and sometimes all I dream about is being cared for #it’s not something I had and then suddenly I woke up one day and had it and now it’s gone and it’s hard to manage loneliness #once you know what it feels like to not be lonesome all the time #I read my books and I go on walks and I make my art and I’m happy #but sometimes I wish I could have someone to share my joy with #I was desperately in love with this girl for many years #in the way that you are as a lesbian when you’re dating a friend without benifits #but at the end of the day she didn’t love me and I lost that love and our friendship #and we did everything together #we shared all of our joy with eachother #I miss that more than anything #i didn’t think I was capable of loving someone so deeply #more than myself #more than anything #and now I’m just back to square one #I feel like I did as a kid #alone with my books to keep me company #removed from everyone else

[venus111]

Astrology observations

🦋 Virgo rising women attract lesbians,Pisces in the 7H can indicate this it makes things blurry same as Aquarius in 7H

🦋 water signs hate talking on the phone especially if it’s small talk

🦋 Pisces sun like to be chased I’ve noticed they are quick to block someone and disappear for good

🦋 Capricorn men are bachelors some don’t mind the loneliness

🦋 Leo Lilith have traumatic childhood can attract toxic men

🦋 Aries and Sagittarius placements are known for their lack of filter

🦋 Pluto in 6th house if undeveloped will only contact you if they want something from you they can use people

🦋 Capricorn placements age gracefully

🦋 Venus in the 6th house have elf like ears

🦋 Taurus placements are either gym obsessed or overweight

🦋 Taurus,Scorpio and Aquarius placements have unique nose shapes

🦋 people born on the 22nd always face difficulties in their lives they can end up being completely shut from the world several times. A lot of failures and rejections and love failures, family relationship breaks you name it. It leads such people to a lane that normal people won't be able to sustain. Yes they are a tough cookie. celebrities who have this Amber heard, Selena Gomez and Hailey bieber

🦋 Lilith in 2nd house/Taurus Sometimes it can seem like people are so quick to touch you, have sex with you or get access to what you have that you can feel like they don’t really see you for who you are.

🦋 I have Chiron in Scorpio 2° I find myself breaking things and also things will stop working when I use them phones,cars,laptops, tv remotes,kitchen utensils

🦋 Leo placements love spoiling their partners and family with gifts

🦋 Pluto in the 2nd house love saving up and are stingy with their money

🦋Jupiter in the 2nd house are the recipients of good fortune

🦋Gemini placements own many pets

🦋 Libra women love to dye their hair blonde

🦋 All the members of the royal family have Leo placements and degrees

#astro notes #astro observations #astrology #astrology placements #astrology signs #fyp #fypシ #horoscope #zodic signs #zodiac #birth chart #astrology observations #astrology notes #astro placements #astro community #kpop #rising sign #natal chart #scorpio #sagittarius #aquarius #capricorn #libra #cancer #gemini moon #leo rising #virgo #lgbtq #bts #blackpink

[forthelostones]

𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ➺ 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 #4

anderson construction and landscaping had been parked outside your door since you returned home from university. as if the summer couldn't get any hotter, the business owner works overtime in your area. anderson is collecting new, loyal clients of your neighbors, cementing her permanence in your life for the next few months. what's to come of your girlish crush when she keeps showing up?

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜. 18+ (mdni); age-gap, young!reader, older!abby, butch!abby, slow-burn, suggestive language, thoughts of infidelity, ellie ft, smoking/drinking, mentions of parents, nickname: sweetheart, and modern au.

𝚊𝚗. everyone wow thank you so much for the love on for your eyes only! it means so much. here’s something a little different, hope you enjoy. any requests don’t hesitate to drop ‘em, xx jstar.

♫ 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝. hypotheticals by lake street drive ♫

https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/

I didn’t bother looking at my watch during our session and somehow I noticed the sun was nearly gone. A fist tightened in my stomach when I realized how long she had been in my presence without me being aware of the fact. I can’t remember a time when my social battery grew instead of depleting. 

Technically, I should be tired since I stayed up filtering through applications and cleaning my entire place simultaneously. But it was something about her that energized me. Even motivated me and made me excited about this project. She gave me a sense of agency, which I haven't felt in the last decade.

“You built these bookshelves, didn't you?” She snorted in disbelief as we traveled to the living room before her departure. 

“I did,” I said, in the kitchen as I fetched myself a beer, feeling proud at the recognition. 

I followed her manicured finger trace at the edge of the panels. She twisted her head sideways to read the dusty titles on the shelf. Even though I only saw her back, I knew her mouth was open in astonishment at my first edition copies of classic books, something I’ve been cultivating for twenty years. I bring the tinted bottle to my lips and stand with my free hand on my chin. 

She tucked her index into an original print of The Well of Loneliness. She looked over her shoulder quickly to check if I was watching her, which I was. I quickly diverted my gaze towards the floor and sipped. “I’ve had that book for a while,” I say. 

“Is it okay if I…” 

Her voice became silent, almost a whisper as if she’d be in trouble if she muttered a word about the novel. 

“Of course. Please.” 

I gesture towards the couch and she pulls the untouched book from the shelf as if it were delicate china and sits on my worn sofa. I bit the corner of my mouth as I saw her sit right where I lay my head and I took a seat on the farthest end away from her. She crossed her legs and brought the grey-shaded book onto her lap. The pages were stale and yellow-ish, almost crumbling under her careful touch. She followed the inside of the spine with her thumb, straightening the first page and a shiver traveled down my spine to my toes. 

“From the library of Abigail Anderson.” Her voice drops an octave, loose and saturated in a sexy chuckle. I wanted her to repeat my name just like that until her voice was hoarse.

I knew my cheeks grew bright red and I had the inclination to press the bottle to my face to cool my embarrassment. The embosser was a gift from an ex-girlfriend and she took the liberty of pressing it into every book I owned, even my most valuable ones. 

“You like that?” I smile, concealing my trembling lip with the neck of the bottle and thumb. 

“I wish I had one but my books aren’t special enough.” 

“What do you like to read?” 

“Same stuff you do.” 

That stuff is novels that exclusively includes women.

Her eyes linger with a glint that can only be described as fervor like she never met someone who read lesbian fiction. I didn’t break eye contact like I had been for the last three hours. I took another sip to hold back a large, toothy grin. Her phone vibrated with another ricochet of text messages, which she continuously ignored. But soon she broke our quiet pact by reading the messages and excusing herself to the next room. Her voice has a quiver in it although hushed. 

“Ellie. I’m sorry I just—okay. Okay. I know I am sorry. It just… Of course, I love you are you—alright. I’ll see you soon.” 

She comes back into the living room without moving back to her original spot. Her face was thick with an emotion I knew all too well. Dread. Maybe she needed an excuse to stay longer and I felt okay with that.

“I don’t know if you’re hungry or anything—” / “I’m gonna go—”. 

The jumble of words flusters us both and her grip tightens around her phone. The sight makes me think she could snap it in half right there. Ellie, her girlfriend, definitely gave her a stern talking to. The little cat-like girl I met on the street couldn't have made her feel so small. She brushes a stray hair from her face that wasn’t there. Instead of confidence, I saw her shrink down twice in size. 

“Oh, yea of course,” I rub my hot neck.

Her eyes dart towards the copy of The Well of Loneliness. 

“You can borrow it if you want to.” 

Instead of traveling around the couch, she let her body swipe past me as I rose from the couch. Our clothes mingled in a private dance just before she slipped on her shoes and fiddled with the door. With the book pressed to her chest, she turned to me, a mere two feet away, and thanked me. A silence fell between us. It wasn't awkward, but comfortable. I felt comfortable.

“Anytime, I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

What I wanted to come out as a statement became a question and I resented myself for it. I wanted her to know that I was going to see her.

“Hopefully. ‘Night Ms. Anderson.” 

“Drive safe, sweetheart.” 

A soft I will left her solemn lips and I watched the twinkle of her headlights illuminate my body. I raise my hand to wave her off but she turns her head before I can. I quickly tucked it away in my back pocket. My throat hardened seeing her car drive away.

As I closed the door, the lingering silence of the house struck me strongly. The missing book from the shelf made me feel hollow in a way. I was glad that she took it but I wish... I don't know. I finish my last sip of beer and toss the bottle out. I walk to the bathroom and turn on the shower.

The water offered me a clarity the cool breeze outside could not. I was relishing in a former life that I wish I had done differently. Craving someone who truly understood me and appreciated who I was. I never got that. My heart pumped with anxiety-ridden blood. Painful memories that I shoved away threatened to —

My hands are on the sparkling tiles, spread with 2 inches in between. I press my eyes shut and try to understand where I stand. It feels like the calm beads of water transformed into pebbles. Hitting my skin with an angry vengeance I could not place. The steam inhibits me from getting a deep inhale. I can't move. I open my eyes and soften my knees. I find the strength to reach for the knob and draw my body onto the floor. My knees come to my chest and I count until the water turns cold.

I opened the windows in my bedroom and listened to the chirping of cicadas. I close my eyes and walk backward onto the perfectly made bed. Instantly, my back melted. Why was I denying myself this? I lay with my feet dangling and was disrupted from the lingering sleep by my phone in the living room.

7:30 PM: What have you gotten me into Ms. Anderson?

She sat with the book in her lap, the only blankets around being a plum-colored top sheet. Her legs held the book and a small light illuminated the first page. Her thumb held the right page and her index and middle in the crease. I could imagine how she rubbed them against the paper like earlier. I stared at the photo and fell deeper into the elements of it.

7:35 PM: 400 pages is nothing, You'll do fine.

A bubble appears and vanishes.

7:36 PM: It's actually 448 pages, thank you very much.

7:37 PM: My apologies. 48 extra pages won't kill you.

7:38 PM: You don't know that...

7:40 PM: I think I do.

7:41 PM: Well, we can discuss what you think you know tomorrow...

My fingers twitched to reply but it was clear that she desired to be left alone. I couldn't determine why these casual conversations left my face aching, but they did. I reflected on how long it's been since I went on a date. The number enters my mind and burns slowly like a forest fire. The sides of my head throb as I slip under the blankets.

to be continued...

#abby x reader #abby anderson x you #lesbian #abby anderson tlou2 #abby the last of us #abby tlou #abby anderson #the last of us part two #abby anderson x reader #wlw ns/fw #wlw and nblw only

[lesbian-kyoru]

something i love so dearly about yuzumako is how the lesbian coding of their relationship is so healing, rather than self-destructive?? by that i mean, so much queer coding is filtered through the lens of, here is this character whose queer identity is so fraught that it often leads them to lashing out and misery, & you always think how much happier they'd be if they could make peace with themselves..... but with yuzuki and makoto, the safety and peace they feel around each other always serves as the anecdote to their struggles, ESPECIALLY with boys.

in ch 20 yuzuki is disappointed with boys endlessly complimenting her painting w/o looking at it—seeing her as a romantic conquest rather than caring abt her as a person. the same chapter, it's makoto who actually cares about her painting & yuzuki's artistry EXACTLY how she hoped. the loneliness & resentment yuzu experiences is directly tied to heteronormativity, with boys assuming that they can disrespect her boundaries since she's a pretty girl to be "won over"—only for makoto's actions to parallel the same set up BUT she always demonstrates a truer understanding of yuzu as a person & friend throughout the process, and every time it brings yuzu such a sense of safety & comfort that she NEVERRRRR feels around boys pursuing her!!

there's such an intense lesbian coding to yuzu's avoidance of male romantic advances as opposed to how she leans into not only female friendship but specifically to makoto's own feelings for her shining through—and again, i love this because it's so positive & warm. rather than queerness being a source of anguish, makoto brings yuzu more joy than heteronormativity ever does.

next, after mako's date that she calls a battle, it's yuzu who says she looks cute & cheers her up! mako ALSO decides she doesn't care about being boyfriendless bc yuzu makes her so happy which is sooooo baby lesbian like are you serious! the same as the scene with yuzu's artwork, makoto's date with a boy that only brought her discomfort & feelings of unworthiness is followed by joy & affirmation found in yuzu's company—again, queerness & female connection shown as the anecdote to comphet/mako forcing herself to present hyperfeminine to fit what's expected.

also of note is makoto's recurring jealousy of yuzu's beauty—even though this is a negative emotion, i love how it's ultimately overpowered by her affection for yuzu. also the lesbian pipeline from i want to be her -> i want to kiss her is alive & well for makoto. so so obviously.

then finally, probably the crowning example of my point is yuzu's arc of being set up on a date w her new classmate against her will! as an aside these chapters depict such a common lesbian experience, where to avoid being socially isolated, we give into comphet & just go along with boys' feelings for us, thinking it's best if we don't cause issues & eventually we can get ourselves to reciprocate, giving them what they want at the expense of our repressed identities—yuzu is taught that her feelings don't matter; her beauty was made for male consumption.

now in high school, yuzu decides to speak up for herself & reject the role she's been placed into, again as a beautiful prize to be won—it's common for closeted lesbians to think they can convince themselves to like men back, but yuzu won't go along with this forced set up again. after she rejects this boy, her classmates make yuzu feel like SHE'S the one who has done something wrong & don't take her discomfort into account—it's hard for them to understand why, as a pretty girl, she isn't willing to just go along with men's attraction. ENTER MAKOTO!!!

sorry makoto is frankly so smooth for this. when yuzu leaves school early & makoto hears about her date, she brings yuzu pudding & tells her that she wants yuzu to be honest with her about when she's feeling down, even though their experiences are different. when reading both characters through a queer lens, it's very interesting to see how they've had different experiences w heteronormativity & gender up to now—yuzu is constantly fighting comphet demons whereas makoto feels less than for not being as feminine or gorgeous as yuzu.

but even though their experiences with lesbianism & girlhood have been different, makoto wants to hear how yuzu truly feels and comfort her. once again, after seeing the horrible pressures & pains yuzu has experienced through heteronormative dating & misogyny, it is her incredibly queer-coded friendship with makoto that makes her feel safe enough to cry openly in front of her!!!!! yuzu's peers, but particularly boys, show a disregard for her emotions, and then we see makoto fill that role of support & care so easily. like the dream boyfriend she is :)

there's a lot more i could say about yuzumako & their individual arcs, but to tie everything up, it is so common in lesbian (or queer coded) media for a character's lesbianism to be something that brings them nothing but pain and suffering, either in its repression or awareness—so i absolutely love how skip & loafer showcases (through yuzumako but also the ENTIRE cast) that embracing your queer identity can be so healing & positive. the story doesn't shy away from presenting a lot of the pain that closeted lesbians go through, like struggles with their gender & how socially ingrained heteronormativity is—but these struggles are always followed up by such intentional examples of yuzumako's connection (+ lesbian yearning) being so comfortable & happy to them! i love angst too but seeing them, time and time again, know exactly what the other needs & be able to be that for each other is soooooo rewarding!!!

happiness in queer media does not need to erase the struggles of our lives, but rather showing authentic queerness not as the problem but as the SOLUTION is unbelievably impactful. long live yuzumako

#skip and loafer #sukirofa #yuzumako #yuzuki murashige #makoto kurume #skip and loafer meta #my meta #from now on my excuse of why i can spend hours writing meta about gay people is because its just brainstorming for my senior capstone LMAO #zoe.txt