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gallawitchxx · 7 months

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hi gallabitches (fond),

i am feeling very sappy as kinktober is halfway over & i continue to sit it out this year due to health & work-load & brain blips. so i just wanted to name an emotional experience i'm having because maybe you're having it too?

things are changing around here. things have changed. interests, time, desires, energy levels, schedules, lives have changed. the bubble that was 2020-2022? 23? has burst for real. people have moved on. that is ok. this is ok. this is life. (woof!) but it's that last one that's been getting to me lately -- the people.

this fandom is so special & there's something really loving about the people that are drawn to this space. my god, the talented, warm, big-hearted, nurturing, genius, creative, expansive, vulnerable, perfectly made people that find their way here!! & all because we happen to love these two fucked-up, growing, frustrating, devoted, horny, idiot felons and soulmates so deeply we want to fucking scream about it on tumblr dot com. my best friends are here.

so yes, what's happened/is happening is sad. i am Sad about it! & also the people keep coming! there's been this new wave of incredible, talented, lovely people who have showed up to take the unhinged baton & do their own lap around the windy city. that is the cycle! it's delightful! my sweet fresh danny devitos, i love your work!! & the best news is i/you/we don't have to fucking go anywhere at all! we can write & make & scream & lose our goddamn minds over these fools for a lifetime. i'm certainly not done. just switching up the pace.

but if you're someone who's moved on or is moving on, go, go, go & may you let love lead you to your next soft place to land. thank you for being such a huge part of my life for the past few years. what we all created together is nothing short of a miracle. thank you. i love you. thank you. ALSO SHOW BACK UP ON MY DASH AT ANYTIME. STAY IN TOUCH. TELL ME YOU ARE SAFE. I AM WORRIED ABOUT YO--

i love this place. thank you to the pals who are feeding us so good this kinktober. community makes me emotional!!!!!!

bee xx

#i don't know what happened #i really should be working #but instead i wrote this #honestly i think that's very anti-capitalist of me #i'm actually not spending enough business hours writing my feelings on this hellsite #anywayyyyyyyy #i love you i love this place i love us #if i owe you a kinktober comment or reblog please feel free to yell at me #just include the link 😉#community makes me emotional #<- my forever tag

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lieslab · 8 months

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Fifty-fifty

Summary: You run into Minho (quite literally) and learn what friendship is all about.

Pairing: Minho X platonic gn reader

Genre: Comfort/hurt & fluff

Word count: 2.2K

_ _ _

You had spent your teenage years building up a fortress. Every single day after school, you went into your room and pulled out another brick. You made sure it was strong and sturdy. You took your time slathering those bricks with cement and placing them together. Day by day, brick by brick, you had created yourself a prison. You had trapped yourself inside without a door.

Isolating yourself from the world was reckless and you knew it. The first foundation of a solid relationship is communication and the second is trust, but you had trusted far too much. Too lenient, too forgiving, too many second chances which turned to thirds and fourths and suddenly there were eighths.

It was easier to make excuses and allow people to walk all over you. It’s easy to fall into a pile of shattered glass, but it’s harder to pull the pieces back out. The shards are too small. It stings. It aches. The glass scrapes along the bone. The tweezers hurt too much. Let the skin regrow over them no matter how much it’ll internally hurt.

You had lived your childhood with your head in the clouds. Believing that people wouldn’t take advantage of your kindness because wasn’t that how everyone was? Wasn’t everyone sweet? Didn’t everyone have empathy?

You had been told you were gullible, but you never understood it until you got older. Gullible. Naive. Ignorant. An idiotic impressionable fool who held too much empathy inside them. The world was never meant for so much altruism.

You had given and given and given. No matter how tired you were, you offered your advice. You offered compassion. You spent so many nights staying up late reassuring your friends that their problems would be okay. Everything would be fine.

With your parents dumping their problems onto you, it only added to the weight on your shoulders. Parents. Friends. School. While searching for the answers for everyone else, you never had time for yourself. You pushed your own problems off to the side.

You couldn’t bring them up now. No way. Not when everyone else was already dealing with other issues. What kind of asshole adds to other people’s problems? You couldn’t do that to them. You wouldn’t.

That’s how it went until you crumbled. Your glass shoulders had shattered. Your legs collapsed. Exhaustion hung over you like a storm cloud. You can give and give and give, but it will eventually catch up to you. The human body was only made for so much.

Something inside of you had broken along the way. You created your walls and that was your home. You pushed people away. You stopped coming out of your room. As much as you had once loved people, it was so much easier to be alone.

It felt better to drown in your problems by yourself. At least, you weren’t hurting anyone this way. You could suffer alone and nobody else would be hurt besides yourself. It didn’t feel right going to people and taking up so much space. Being vulnerable with people was something you could never seem to grasp.

You turned inward on yourself. Even after you finished school, you spent your days pacing around in that brick wall that you built. Studying every brick and trying to figure out how to get out. How could you face the world when you had been closed off for so long?

You had met Minho by accident. He had quite literally bumped into you and knocked you to the ground while in a rush to get to the JYP building. He had apologized non-stop and offered to disinfect and bandage your scraped palms.

You were about to turn down his offer until you had a change of heart. It had been years since you had distanced yourself from past friendships and let them die. You had never known how to befriend someone, but now was your chance.

You followed him into the JYP building and let him lead you to an office. He pulled out his phone to send a text to Chan announcing that he’d be late to a recording session and that’s when you had seen his lockscreen with his cats.

The moment you brought it up, his whole face lit up. The conversation shifted to the three cats. His warm brown eyes twinkled with delight. He spoke softly while he disinfected and bandaged your hands. Once he was finished, he led you back towards the entrance.

He apologized for having to leave so soon, but he had to go to work. He gave you his number and insisted that if you texted him, the two of you could make plans and he’d buy you a coffee to make up for it.

It took you a few days to finally work up the courage to text him. When you agreed on a time and a date, you showed up at the coffee shop the day of. You had arrived twenty minutes early, but he was already sitting at an empty table waiting.

He grinned upon seeing you and made a joke about how desperate you must have been to see him again for showing up so early. You had rolled your eyes and told him to get over his pride.

You had been away from people for so long that you had forgotten how to have proper conversations. You often used sarcasm and said things that some people considered to be rude. You were worried that you had offended him, but he had only laughed at your remark.

As the two of you went up to the counter to order drinks, your playful banter had only continued. Your conversations didn’t feel forced. Your cold remarks had been returned with Minho’s own version. You weren’t uncomfortable, you were thrilled.

You didn’t know his story and you didn’t know his past, but he was so much like you that it hurt. The two of you started hanging out more and more. Your sarcasm and playful comments were continuously met with his own, but you could easily have serious conversations when you needed to.

At one point, you had been having an awful day. You woke up late for work and someone backed into your car while you were on the way there. When you finally arrived, it was announced that your favorite co-worker was transferring jobs to another company building.

The company internet, which all of you needed, had gone out for a few hours. Your boss yelled at you for something that wasn’t your fault. The list kept growing and growing and then you met up for coffee with Minho.

When he joked that you looked like a raccoon with your eye bags, tears filled your eyes. He was right, you hadn’t been sleeping well lately. Your depression had spiked back up because of the cold weather and you felt so miserable. No matter how much sleep you got, it never seemed to be enough.

He was expecting to receive a snide remark, but when he saw tears in your eyes, his face fell. He apologized instantly, but you shook your head. Blinking rapidly, you forced the tears back. You apologized for ruining the atmosphere and his heart broke.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because this is supposed to be a stress-free time period. I’m not supposed to be crying and ruining it.” You wiped a stray tear away with the side of your finger.

“You’re not ruining anything by crying. Why are you crying anyway? What’s wrong? We should talk about it.”

You frantically shook your head and insisted that it was nothing. You hadn’t been sleeping very well, but you refused to tell him anymore. The conversation went to his cats and then he began talking about his day at work.

You pushed your problems down. Your thumb ran across the lid of your coffee cup as you listened. You nodded and commented here and there. He had even gotten you to laugh.

He finished by taking a sip of coffee and then gestured towards you. “Okay, now it’s your turn. What did you do today? How did your day go?”

You shrugged, “I went to work. It was just like every other day. I went to work and came home.”

“What did you have for breakfast?”

“Nothing.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t have time because I was running late.”

“Oh, so you were late to work? Why? Did your boss get mad?”

You continued to vaguely answer his questions, but you hadn’t realized that he was slowly figuring out why you had cried at his comment. You did have a shitty day and his innocent comment had been the final nail in the coffin.

“You know, when two people are in a friendship, the relationship is fifty-fifty. I tell you my problems, you tell me yours. We give each other advice. We make each other laugh, but we’re also there when one of us is struggling.”

Your gaze shifted down to your coffee cup, “I know.”

“So why do you find it hard to open up to me? I want to hear about your days. I like hearing about the things you do. No matter how boring, I like to know about it.”

You shrugged, “I don’t like bothering people.”

“Do you like hearing about what I do?”

“Of course.”

“Then why is it different when you do it?”

You shrugged again not wanting to dive into the topic deeper and began playing with your fingers. It was a topic that you didn’t want to talk about. Sensing this, Minho pulled out his phone to cheer you up.

“Let me show you this new photo of my cats that I took this past weekend.”

You brightened up and quickly picked your head up to coo over his cats. You had always been a fan of animals, but cats had always been your favorite. Growing up, you often had them as pets.

Eventually, the two of you left the coffee place and headed home. You continued to regularly meet up for coffee. Every time you talked, it slowly became easier and easier to open up. You had finally met someone who understood.

You didn’t have to be vulnerable in front of people, but having just one person to open up and relate to made it far easier to deal with life. Over time, your relationship became fully fifty-fifty. You talked about things and he talked about things. The two of you bickered like an old married couple.

Eventually, he finally let you meet his band, they didn’t understand how the two of you did it. Minho would complain about something and you’d tease him for it. He’d threaten to fight you and you’d dare him to do it.

The first time you met them, you had gotten into a pillow fight that left the two of you giggling and breathless while everyone else was bewildered. Minho quickly turned the pillow to Changbin to break the ice. He ripped it away and started beating Minho back.

Minho stole your pillow and continued to fight Changbin. Wanting to join in on the fun, Chan grabbed his pillow from his room and thwacked Minho on the back of the head. The death glare that Minho gave him caused you to laugh.

That’s when his attention had turned to you. Chan vowed to save you and soon everyone had pillows. Hyunjin shrieked with his hands up in the air as Felix chased him around the couch. I.N was on the floor with his hands over his head as Seungmin beat his head relentlessly.

Han had ended up on the back of Changbin’s shoulders. Changbin had his arms tightened around Han’s legs and Han raised two pillows above his head. The two of them were after Chan. Han threw one right after another which caused Chan to slip and stumble into Seungmin.

“Get yourself a cane, old man.”

The words directed at Chan had caused enough of a distraction that I.N could get up. He slammed his pillow into the front of Seungmin’s face which caused him to yelp in shock. Felix screamed after Hyunjin had finally turned around to face him and began chasing him back.

Minho’s eyes darted around wildly until they locked on you. He flew over towards you and started beating on you. Tired and breathless, you fell onto the ground laughing while he beat your torso.

After a while, he dropped himself to the ground, laid his pillow on your stomach and laid down. “Alright, that’s enough of that, I’m tired.”

“Me too!” Hyunjin sighed and plopped down onto Minho’s thigh.

He shot Hyunjin a glare, but dropped it when Felix curled up on his other leg. Soon they were all gathered around you. Everyone struggled to catch their breaths as sweat dripped down their faces.

You let your eyes close at the quiet conversations around you. A friendship is fifty-fifty. Sure, it can be terrifying opening up and being vulnerable. It’s hard to break out of the walls you’ve placed around yourself, but having a friend is important.

Who knows. Maybe you might find someone who is just like you. Maybe taking a chance is the bravest thing you can do for yourself. You never know what adventures you might experience when you step out of your room and begin to break down your walls.

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #lee know fanfic #lee know fic #lee know #minho #lee know comfort #stray kids drabbles #fanfic writing #fanficwriter #kpop fanfic #lee know fluff

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katyspersonal · 3 months

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Collision, Family, Volcano, Crown, Ruler and Fire for Izzy! (Her character has such a cool concept yet there is so little about her character in this fandom i need more of her,,,,)

Hey!! Thank you for asking! And also your ask made me want to finally do another quick doodle of her x)

Baby boy. Baby. vs Evil

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with? 🌋 VOLCANO - how bad is their temper? is it a slow boil, or a instant explosion?

I am combining these questions because the answers to both are quite connected, hope this is okay!

Izzy will go feral, figurally and literally, when someone either threatens people she is willing to protect or knows which regrets of hers to turn outside. Although she thinks reasonably and tries her best to have a grasp on her impulses and "be an animal responsibly!", she unfortunately is vulnerable to provocation. You know that one smug asshole that simply knows all of your insecurities and will lead you in public (friends or families) so they could humiliate you or dig through your dirt? ...no? Well, it is the worst kind of parental/authority figure, and Izzy is likely to see red and even physically attack a person like this. If she is around someone who knows how to get under her skin, she needs a more collected friend to ground her and remind her this is not worth her passion and anger.

Conclusion: slow boil, unless you pull the right strings! He can pile up grudges and anger- heck, it took a while for Izzy to "explode" at Ludwig with telling him in exact detail how much of a dumbass he was fhfhdsfd Yet on the other hand, Ashton (a crucial OC for the story) infuriated Izzy upon like, second significant interaction!

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

I envisioned her as the only child and someone growing without mom, raised just by father who was also quite harsh on her. A hell lot of emotional problems that never got resolved, just piling up over the years. She never tried to earn her dad's approval, nor strongly rebelled against him, but simply tried to coexist with little to no trust to the irrational fool that never knew what did he want.

The father had plenty of siblings on the other hand, so Izzy got to see various uncles, aunts and cousins often! With most of them Izzy was friendly and they felt more like a family than his dad, but still it was a little soured since for them her dad was the best person even with no flaw whatsoever and in her kid and teens she lacked the nerve to ruin the good picture. Izzy stopped writing any letters to her father or cousins from Yharnam in the end. There were just too many absolutely batshit things happening that letters would not cover, but he didn't want to bother with 'fake' and shallow letters either.

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

Izzy simply wanted to have his place amongst other significant people in Yharnam, whether it'd be as a great hunter or as a significant researcher! In a way, this wish came true.. you know, discovering a whole new philosophy in all that... mess of Kin, Beasts and humans, that STILL (!!!) has people like Josef diving into Loran dungeons to get at least close to the revelation about beasthood Izzy found? Izzy died as a monster, not knowing her legacy would live on beyond cursing Yamamura's homeland with beasthood, but she'd be very content to know she left the potential of "better humankind" open :')

📏 RULER - is your oc well educated? where did they get their learning from?

Izzy is actually well-versed in subjects like math, history, chemistry and biology! She knows a lot of literature and art too, it is just not a forefront and only brought up accidentally, when she tries to recite a poem that no one recognises. Doesn't help that her manner of talking is really "simple" for the lack of better term, and her education is only obvious when she IS discussing the topic! I always joke that she is a jock+nerd hybrid xD

She went the self-taught road as soon as she gained enough maturity to understand the teachers at the school tended to abuse their authority and the educational system itself was sketchy and with propaganda of certain ideas baked in it! If they wanted to overreact at her reasonable curiosity, then whatever! Calling them out on their bullshit and doing her own thing at the library it is, then! Because of how she studied everything "unofficially" she never had any certificate for her rich knowledge. But out of all Hunters visiting Byrgenwerth, only Izzy took a whole room to conduct researches, not to mention giving good lectures..... until Willem finally walked in and shooed her with a broom fdhfdjdsd

🔥 FIRE - do they have any self destructive tendencies? what habits do they have that hinder them from becoming their best self?

If you count self-inflicted beastly evolution and accelerating Vermin she got inside herself to properly become a part of her blood as self-destruction, then I guess so xD But in her defence, her choice of path to evolution preserved the humanity in its true nature the best!! Filth of humanity is not something to "cleanse" but something to cherish and protect from Great Ones who abuse it!

I'd say a flaw that guarantees his "failures" is inability to control the way arrogance grows as soon as his ideological enemies are marked. Izzy gets commentaries on being too stubborn from friends often, even when he is objectively right! She is actually quite similar to Laurence with the whole "I know what's best for humanity!".. Izzy is actually a strong competition to Mico in terms of being Laurence's rival: they both have these grand plans, whereas Micolash largerly doesn't care about humanity and sees most as cattle. But God FORBID you TELL Izzy this fhdhfdshds

Also:

I want to present.. the sequel

Izzy: Unlike you fanatics I am able to listen to the ideas that contradict mine without losing my shit uwu

Caryll: Embracing beasthood is not the rebellion against the vicious cycle of Moon Presence that you think it is but a truthful part of her plan same as Star Kin that receive redemption from her, the only way to win is to not play.

Izzy:

Ok ok I am done now fhhdshfdhf Thank you for the ask again!!

#bloodborne #irreverent izzy #bloodborne headcanons #ask replies #I use both she and he for Izzy ever since I've learned in Japanese original his name is unambiguously masculine #I am also very normal about her and Laurence #their mutual loathing is legendary *sobs*#but yes I agree this character has hella potential

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suhmayzooka · 1 year

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19–Rant about a change they made to a character of your choice.

jason todd's everything

OKAY i mentioned this briefly here but i do think one of the worst things done to jason was actually done to willis and catherine todd: namely, making willis a basic abusive drunk deadbeat criminal, and making catherine...Just an Addict

i hate RHATO for many reasons (i only touched the tip of the surface here but tldr I Hate Scott Lobdell so fucking MUCH), only one of them being the absolute disgusting retcons to the todd family. thank god for RCO so i don't have to give a sexual harasser a cent providing these screenshots

from rhato 2011 #0, our introduction to catherine and willis was catherine in labor crying "get it out already" because she "really needed a cigarette" and willis already jumping out of the picture to flirt with the hospital staff

willis drives drunk and runs someone over, goes back to catherine, fights, gets arrested, leaving jason to take care of catherine who's addicted to drugs, etc. this is all a very, very basic story that has been told over and over, because (unfortunately) many people have experience growing up in this kind of environment. especially in poverty. perhaps if written by someone who understood poverty, crime, drugs, addiction, the cyclical nature of it all, this may have been told well. unfortunately scott lobdell is a piece of shit and DC can't handle sensitive subject matter, so DC has given us the backstory that, i reiterate, REAL PEOPLE EXPERIENCE (i know because i know real people who had this upbringing—poverty, drugs, abuse, violence) as an excuse to make jason 'street trash' and dehumanize low income families.

but lynx, you just said that you know real people whose lives are reflected by this, shouldn't this be valid representation for them? isn't it realistic?

sure.... maybe, if all the surrounding stuff about jason's story doesn't make this all so CLASSIST and gross in retrospect.

it's not enough that jason escaped the cycle of poverty.... he had to be saved by batman lest he become a Bad Criminal like his father, because that's the only possible outcome to this. there's no reason willis was abusive or drunk or a criminal beyond the fact that he's poor, that he's a 'street rat.'

(side note, can some fans like,,, cool off calling jason a 'street rat' all the time? it's dehumanizing, and like. you know. there are real life people in these situations, they're not 'street rats,' they're the results of a failing system that perpetuates poverty. your anger should not be with 'street rats' but with the governments and the system that leaves vulnerable people behind while lining the pockets of millionaires and billionaires who won't ever step foot into east harlem or brownsville. go serve soup at the bowery for one day and look into the eyes of people stuck into the failing systems, of families coming in with their kids who are trying to do what they can to survive, they're not 'street rats' they're evidence that leaders don't give a shit. your privilege is showing. i digress).

the thing is... making willis and catherine like this isn't bad on its face. before i read DITF, i assumed this characterization was always like that, since both canon and fanon never seemed to indicate any differently.

OH how wrong i was. as i mentioned before, one thing about DC comics that i find... weird... is how comics from before 2000 can be more progressive or sympathetic than comics from the past 20 years.

THIS is how catherine and willis todd were APPARENTLY introduced originally, from batman #426 (part one of DITF):

"her name was catherine todd, a good woman who probably loved her son deeply, only wanted the best for him. willis todd probably loved jason also. maybe that's why he drifted into crime, hoping to give his son a better life. the poor fool realized too late that those kinds of shortcuts never pan out. catherine todd's life was cut short by a disease that didn't care just how much love she had in her heart. jason's dad fell victim to the vicious gangster he was working for, two-face."

wow! so from this... it seems that willis todd wasn't a piece of shit criminal, but someone who turned to crime out of desperation. to give jason a "better life." shocking.... this is ..... more in line with how poverty actually makes people turn to crime. being poor doesn't make someone turn evil just to be evil.

POV you're willis todd. your wife is terminally ill (and, i want to remind international DC fans, gotham is based in new jersey. no free healthcare. no universal basic income. if you want to be precise about when this specific comic was written, RONALD REAGAN was president. think about the circumstances going on). you have a kid. you are unemployed, and there aren't many work opportunities around you.

do you relocate to metropolis, since that city seems better than gotham? with what money?? most of what you do have is pooled with your wife's money to fund her medical bills, but remember this is america and the costs are piling up. additionally, you have to pay for your kid's necessities like food and clothes. you're not going to find an office job making more than minimum wage.

two-face comes along and, being a criminal, can pay you better than working at a random warehouse can. you just go along and follow his orders, and sure it's dangerous and you know you can be arrested but your priorities in life are catherine (until she dies) and then after that, your kid. to willis, and indeed many real parents who find themselves in this situation, crime is probably the most immediate solution; whether willis dies or gets arrested isn't as important as making sure he can put food on the table for just one more night.

let's just go back to catherine—i've seen some people speculate that "the disease" was actually just a euphemism for drugs and the comic was trying to be vague about that. here's how I would handle it if I worked at DC: catherine was sick from some terminal illness, but couldn't afford to pay the ungodly medical bills, so she turns to illegal drugs. you think living in high poverty just makes people turn to nonmedical opioid (the 'opioid crisis') because they're evil ne'er-do-well drug addicts? no!

NOW let's get to jason. he's already an orphan when bruce meets him, stealing the batmobile's tires not out of an inherent evilness within him but because he needs money to survive. he says it himself, he doesn't want to be a criminal! did willis want to be a criminal? did catherine want to die? no! from batman #409:

"i don't wanna learn to be no crook. i just boost what it takes to survive..."

everything about this could make for a compelling story and why i hated HATED HATED cheer so much. jason KNOWS the relationship between poverty and crime because he's LIVED IT, more than bruce could ever understand.

jason is adamantly AGAINST the systems in power BECAUSE HE'S SEEN oppression and injustice. he's lived it.

making willis abusive severely diminishes any sort of sympathetic connection jason could have to petty criminals...which makes no sense because he was one. jason should not be killing random thieves or henchmen, his issues should always be with the people in power. including in crime. note that he DOESN'T go on an anti-drug, anti-crime crusade in UTRH (which, as a whole comic, does contain some war on crime propaganda, but overall miles better than the bad parents retcon). he DOESN'T think that all criminals deserve death; his issue with batman ISN'T that gotham is too full of criminals that should be killed, but if you read the retcons and the abusive willis todd it's easy to interpret that (URBAN LEGENDS CHEER MY BEHATED).

i think lost days should be included in every printing of UTRH because of how much emphasis it places on jason's compassion for the downtrodden; he's not just murdering people because hee hee the lazarus pit made him evillll but because they're oppressing others; he kills people in positions of power who are abusing the systems in place. (NIGHTWING ANNUAL 2021 MY BEHATED)

so much of that is just... it just doesn't come off the same if willis was abusive at the start.

now. even after my rant, i want to say there's an upcoming fan film about jason's upbringing as an "abused street kid", HOWEVER the creator has discussed many times that this is based on his own personal experience so i have a lot of hope that it'll be less misery porn than what DC wrote.

salty comics ask game!

#yes i watch many red hood fan films i have a whole playlist. some are pretty fun!#if anyone wants fan film recs i can provide a list. i think i've watched enough to do so #dc #lynxreadscomics #meta #asked #jason todd #benbamboozled #moots

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foxes-that-run · 6 months

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From the Dining Table

youtube

Note the subtle tattoo kiss. Like MMIH, Harry hasn't played FTDT live since 2018. Harry told the Grammy Museum:

Styles’ favorite track on the album is “From the Dining Table,” which he said is, “The one that makes me feel the most,” adding that, “it’s the most different than what I expected myself to write and it’s probably the most honest that I’ve been in a song as well.”

To Rolling Stone he said:

"The more vulnerable the song, he learned, the better. “The one subject that hits the hardest is love,” he says, “whether it’s platonic, romantic, loving it, gaining it, losing it … it always hits you hardest. I don’t think people want to hear me talk about going to bars, and how great everything is. The champagne popping … who wants to hear about it? I don’t want to hear my favorite artists talk about all the amazing shit they get to do. I want to hear, ‘How did you feel when you were alone in that hotel room, because you chose to be alone?'”

This quote is interesting because the song is self-aware of the wrong choice to be with be with someone who looked like his muse.

Why is it called from the Dining Table

When performing the album in his first ever solo show Harry introduced from the dining table by explaining it was written at the dining table in Jamaica and it kept the name.

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Woke up alone in this hotel room Played with myself, where were you? Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon I've never felt less cool

The open is remicinet of his comments to Rolling Stone above. So many One Direction songs, in particular Perfect portrayed that fun image of "trouble up in hotel rooms". FTDT strips it away to leave a lonely 22 year old guy who lost someone he loves and misses and does not feel cool. To me, what's special here is addressing some misconceptions about his life and what being that guy cost him.

[Chorus] We haven't spoke since you went away Comfortable silence is so overrated Why won't you ever be the first one to break? Even my phone misses your call, by the way

Harry and Taylor sing a lot about never communicating, and have said in interviews that they can say things to an instrument but not each other.

[Verse 2] I saw your friend that you know from work He said you feel just fine I see you gave him my old t-shirt More of what was once mine

Taylor's friend from work is often thought to be Ed, however Ed was Harry's friend first, and more a personal than a work friend to both.

When Harry was starting his Debut album he worked with a lot of music producers, including Max Martin, who worked in 1989. Harry spent a week with him in November 2016 before starting to work Tom and Tyler.

There are several shirts of Harry's that Taylor's worn and could have given to Max. To me, it's this Genius Jumper, which Max has worn, she lent to to lots of friends before it disappeared. have no reason to think Harry ever wore it though, other than it is a UK high street brand and it looks like the Cardigan-cardigan.

[Bridge] Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too x3 But you, you never do Woke up the girl who looked just like you I almost said your name

1989 largely focuses on Taylors experience, in her later work she has reflected more on how things played out in tracks like Afterglow, Coney Island and The 1.

At the end of 2014:

October 1989 was released, Taylor jaded in interviews, November 1D released Four with Stockholm Syndrome and Fool's Gold. Harry and Taylor had been hanging out, made heart eyes at the AMAs

2 December may have left the VS Secret show together, (So it Goes, Pick you up). On that, this is the closing track, Ready for it is the opening track of the next album in order.

22 December - HS pictured with VS model Nadine Leopold, this was in NYC before he bought an apartment there. She looks well...

So I think this song is set in late 2014 rather than the boat, though I must admit I still imagine it in the Virgin Islands.

#haylor #ftdt #from the dining table #harry styles #now that we don’t talk #harry styles debut #hs1

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sleep-can-wait · 7 months

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could you like, deep dive into why you think uloopi hated Aru sm?

Ok I've thought about this long and hard so here I go:

There is the obvious fact that Takshaka has manipulated her and that due to her loss of that jewel thing that helped her see all those who lie to her, she couldn't see that he was obviously manipulating her. I think that she would not be used to being lied to and so couldn't see why someone of her own kind would do that to her. She was vulnerable and so would obviously trust the first person to come and comfort her, which happened to be Takshaka.

Adding onto the above point, both Takshaka and Uloopi both lost something because of Arjuna, and so sympathised with each other. This most definitely caused their connection to grow stronger. Because of Arjuna, they both went blind. Literally in Takshaka's case where his eyesight was taken from him, or metaphorically in Uloopi's case as she lost the ability to see people's true meanings when she lost her gem. They were both made blind to the world because of him, so they would obviously connect.

Also, they both hate Arjuna, but are probably the only people who are still living who do. People would mock them for hating the greatest warrior of all time, but not each other. This made it extremely easy for Takshaka to manipulate Uloopi. You could see she was naive when she easily gave up her heart jewel to save Arjuna only to be ignored.

Moving on from Takshaka she absolutely projected all her hate onto Aru that she had for Arjuna in all these years. She had given everything up for him, only to be cast aside for someone else. She grew bitter and old. She was separated from all the other naga loka people because she was the only one who looked her age and she could be easily fooled without her jewel. She had nowhere to put all that hate because she was the one to blame until now. She could finally take that anger out on someone and make Arjuna in one way or another pay for what he did so long back.

Adding onto this, Aru is a lot like Arjuna with her wit and ability to see outside the box. Seeing Aru must have brought back really awful memories for Uloopi and so she lashed out like that without thinking too much. It must be really painful to see the person you love the most and the one who also hurt you the most back in front of your eyes after such a long time.

At the same time, Aru is not at all like Arjuna - so even if Uloopi hates him, he was still the most important person in her life. And so it feels like the guy she loved was replaced with someone entirely different and I can bet you all my non-existent pocket money that no matter how mad she was at him, she would give anything for the real thing to come back. But he's gone and she's here. And in Uloopi's eyes Aru must seem like a bratty and obnoxious replacement, a puny mortal who just arrogantly took Arjuna's place as the unworthy younger generation child she is. Not at all grateful and already messing up. If it were the real and perfect Arjuna, this entire mess would have never occurred. If it were the real Arjuna, there would be no Sleeper, because he would not mess up, but Aru did the moment she awakened as a pandava. She was a step down for Uloopi.

Lastly, supposedly it is believed that Aru stole Kamadeva's bow from HER. And Uloopi would obviously believe it was Aru who was the one to take it, after all, her predecessor already took something just as precious from her already. Arjuna stole her jewel, Aru stole the arrow. Naturally, this would happen. And she could finaly make Arjuna pay for taking what was hers. Even though it was technically her who willingly gave him his jewel, she may have developed an idea in her head that he had actually taken it himself without her consent as a way to cope with the heartbreak and resentment. And here he was doing it again in another life and body.

I don't think Uloopi will ever forgive Aru/Arjuna, even after she gave back the jewel and took back the arrow and explained the situation. Her heart has been broken for centuries, and it may take much longer for the wounds on it to heal. And even then, there will still always be scars.

Anyway these are my thoughts on why Uloopi hates Aru so much, but what do you all think?

#aru shah #the pandava quintet #tpq #roshani chokshi #rick riordan presents #uloopi #queen uloopi of naga loka

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ladsofsorrow24 · 1 year

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get ready to read me dumping all of my feelings for makima here (spoilers in the read more!)

while i was doing laundry just now, i'm reminded of how i felt when i first read chainsaw man, and how... empty i felt after finishing part 1. i can't remember when did i first read it, because it's been... a while but i do remember at the time, what really caught me off guard about makima is how... much i excused her behavior towards denji and everyone around her just because she's in a form of a woman.

god, that's the biggest mistake i made right there.

i actually felt betrayed by fujimoto when i finished reading chapter 74 for the first time. seeing makima laughed at denji's face for naively putting his faith on her. it felt like i was the one being mocked. i actually had to take a break after reading it because i felt so angry at makima.

but now, after... going through some traumatic shit myself that's pretty similar to what happened to denji... i kinda felt like a fool for believing makima's... facade in the first two chapters. and i think that also has something to do with the current climate of feminism and how... asian culture had this weird gender essentialism thing where people can't process the thought of women being evil without being outright obnoxious/rude about it. combined the two, and you got people reading fictional works and thought "ah there's no way this female character is evil, she's too nice"

hell, just like me, there are people out there who think of this when it comes to women in their lives too.

and to see this manga tackle such... sensitive issue in this very subtle way, i'm also grateful to fujimoto for not... ridiculing denji too much for believing makima. he's not at fault here, no matter how much stupid mistakes he made, i can never blame him for falling into makima's traps. because he is starving for affection, for acceptance, for kindness. just like a lot of people, he have difficulty understanding that not all kindness, acceptance and affection are unconditional.

but we always tried our best to think positively of other people. so no, it's not your fault if you ended up trusting the wrong person, things... happened. for a reason, i hope so.

and just like i mentioned before about asian's gender essentialism bs and the current social climate regarding gender equality etc, it is very rare to see women, especially evil women represented in a way that isn't a) obnoxiously loud, b) boldly sexual and c) stupidly weak when confronted with men

so, really, i'm glad i picked up the manga again after i throw it away from my first reading. because now i get to appreciate just how... complex makima as a character is. in my current mindset, i'm able to enjoy how cool yet terrifying she is. but also how... surprisingly vulnerable her inner mind is, after knowing that what she really desires is nothing more than just an equal-footing relationship with another person. it makes me realized that... really even abusers are still human beings.

i'm not trying to forgive abusers here, they're actively doing things for their own selfish reasons, but. i think there is merit in understanding how... bad people can become bad. "nature vs nurture" and all that.

tldr'; i just think makima is pretty fucking neat and people who be like "oh she's truly evil" can benefit from looking at her character in a more nuanced way. especially if you're someone aspiring to write complex character with subtle mannerisms.

#chainsaw man spoilers #makima #chainsaw man meta #kinda? idk #but yeah if you can't guess yet #i love makima #yet i also hate her #you get what i mean

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outeremissary · 9 months

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Balthazar 1, 9, 19, 41, 48

Hi Winter! What a fun list you've sent, ehehe. Thank you for your patience.

[prompt]

What is your character's reaction to a minor inconvenience? Such as getting their jumper caught on a door handle?

Depends on whether or not anyone is there to witness it. If he's alone, it's gritted teeth and hissed curses. He adapts to inconvenience quickly, sure, but he certainly doesn't take it gracefully by nature. If anyone is around to observe he tries to be far more restrained. It wouldn't do to let others see him lose his composure over something so trivial. Although the counterpart to that is that if he does let out that frustration in front of someone without thought, it's a sign of trust... or else a sign that they aren't going to be around much longer. Always two things with him.

9. What is your character's trigger point? What makes them angry, sad or makes them go off?

Oh, there are far too many things that anger him: the incompetence of his allies, being outmaneuvered by a foe, his own weakness, the horrible experience of having to trek through the wilderness, the inconvenience of being expected to take care of things himself, dealing with naive fools, anyone who treats him like an aasimar first and anything else second, being insulted even in small ways... the list goes on and on. But it's fine! He can hold it in. He's been bearing insults his entire life. Really setting him off takes some pushing. Continuing to chase the worst points of insecurity about his ancestry, his vulnerability, or his past will certainly draw it out. He's also angered on Tristian's behalf uncomfortably easily- even before he was aware of why.

He'd like to think that not much makes him sad, but that's not true. Thinking about his father makes him sad. Remember Absalom for too long makes him sad- he misses the city, but he doesn't think he can ever return. When he imagines his future failures, there's a bitter feeling that he wants to call anger, but isn't quite that. His confidence in himself lapses easily: he's always mourning what he's sure he's about to lose. Becoming distant from someone he genuinely cares about sends him spiraling as well- how fortunate that he can keep people at a safe distance!

19. What does your character consider to be their lowest point?

Before the Stolen Lands? Absolutely the period around the loss of his apprenticeship. Everything in his life suddenly went wrong all at once and he found himself with a reputation in tatters, no friends or allies, no reliable shelter, and no plan. He realized quickly that no one was willing to listen to his side of the story whether they believed or not. Between the shame of his failures and the insinuation that a certain enemy knew where his father lived, he didn't feel he had anywhere he could return to either. The scope of misery inflicted on him by falling into that trap is hard to measure. But he came back in the end- once he had a handle on the shock, he was already plotting his revenge. Unfortunately, even at the time he couldn't call the fulfillment of that vengeance more than a hollow victory.

In terms of the Stolen Lands... certainly entering the House. He was already wallowing in despair beforehand. The entrapment, separation, and desperate period of surviving on his own made him feel terribly, terribly small. But the details of that are for another day.

41. Your character has been punched into the face. What's their reaction?

Seething!! He's not well-equipped to do anything about it except try to bite back his rage. He's too weak to hit back, and his magic isn't exactly well equipped for retaliation much of the time as well. He'd already be thinking of how to repay the humiliation before his head even stopped spinning. On a related note, he truly hates Irovetti for the drunken melee incident.

Learning domination was certainly a game changer for making fools regret laying a hand on him. Still, it's far more limited than he'd like...

48. Is your character easy to make cry? Or angry? Or annoyed?

It's hard to make him genuinely cry, although it's not hard to draw out crocodile tears by seeming like the kind of bleeding heart they'd work on. The actual tearful breakdown would take a level of emotional overwhelm he's certain he'll never suffer again- before Kingmaker it had been years since the last time he could remember really losing it. Something that coincided with an incident previously mentioned in this post.

Anger and annoyance are far easier. See above. He tries not to express them too openly though- don't want anyone taking advantage.

#I think this managed to get out some things that were either previously not mentioned on this blog or not talked about much #ask game #ask me emithing #balthazar lucienne #prettycatgirlwinter #that was fun to type.

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lesbiancolumbo · 2 years

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katharine hepburn, if you havent already done her?

this entry seems to have been written while kate was still alive, so keep that in mind:

Survival alone might have enshrined Hepburn as one of the cinema’s greatest actresses, or characters. Add to that twelve Academy Award nominations and four Oscars, three of them when she was past sixty. She is so remarkable, she may have given the misleading impression that Hollywood is interested in old people. There was also the sentimental appeal of her long friendship offscreen (and the affectionate bantering on it) with Spencer Tracy.

She is no longer quite here (her health has been bad for several years), but it’s no wonder she is regarded with reverence. She has become an institution, claiming to be mystified that so many millions of strangers adore her. But she has avoided scandal and those eccentric flights of folly that beset so many elderly stars. When she came to do her autobiography, she took it for granted that we would know who Me was. The book was as brisk as a swim before breakfast, full of omissions and commissions, blissfully egocentric, and glowingly proud of her tomboy fondness for “strong” men like Tracy, George Stevens, John Ford, Howard Hughes, John Huston, and Louis B. Mayer (who never had a better champion). The book was bought by just about anyone who had two hours to read it. But maybe it changed Hepburn a little in our eyes. The vanity was breathtaking—from another age.

Hepburn was long regarded by Hollywood as an outsider, partly because she could not conceal her disdain or her healthy superiority. She did not work that much: after seventeen films in her first ten years, she made only twenty-one in the next thirty years. That sounds like discrimination, yet she made plenty of clinkers. It is likely that in the 1940s and 1950s she was hurt and perplexed that her best work so often confirmed her reputation as box-office poison. She smacked of class; her very voice rose above the mainstream, like a lace hem being lifted above mud. But there is something else: she had character, wit, intelligence, and moral being, and those things can seem cold and sexless on camera. She was most romantic when busy, doing things; not for her the passionate stillness of close-ups, rapt kissing, or worse. There are many women who like her just because she refused such “nonsense.” But the neglect had to do with her coldness, too. She is a true loner, someone who concentrates on herself.

The young Hepburn was a creature of enormous imaginative potency and showy breeding. It was said that she was not beautiful. Nonsense: she was ravishing despite thoroughbred features, a skinny body, and a deliberately, if not aggressively, emphasized Bryn Mawr accent. Her beauty grew out of her own belief in herself and from the viewer’s sense that she was living dangerously, exposing her own nerves and vulnerability along with her intelligence and sensibility. Like Jane Austen’s Emma Woodhouse, she was a moral being, sometimes at odds with herself, deluded or mistaken, but able to correct herself out of a grave and resilient honesty. Nobody on the screen could be so funny and so moving in making a fool of herself, or so touching in reclaiming her dignity. That is why screwball comedy seemed in her hands one of Hollywood’s most civilized forms and it is why Bringing Up Baby is so serious a film—without ever losing the status of being one of the funniest.

Her best work has not dated a fraction of an inch: from 1932 to 1945, she had it in her to be the most interesting, difficult, challenging woman in American pictures. Why? I’d guess it has to do with her confusion, for she loved movies while disapproving of them.

#asks #thomson meme

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bifuriouswaterbender · 1 year

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Fuck it i have no impulse control. Banity, 26.

Send me a ship (or fandom) and a number between 1 & 100, and I’ll use my Spotify Wrapped as fic inspo

26 - A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me - Fall Out Boy

This... got away from me. Note for random readers: This is based on a very specific version of Edgar Bones and Emma Vanity from the Recreancy rp that closed this fall.

“We can’t trust her.”

“She’s already betrayed us.”

“She came here with the plan to betray us!”

“Who’s to say she didn’t come clean now because she knew we’d catch her soon.”

“I don’t buy her story either. Seems like she just wanted the boy without consequences.”

Edgar flinched. It didn’t matter what kind of gains he’d made recently. How many missions he’d already run successfully. How much people trusted him to do the right thing in a tough situation. He’d fallen for the spy and suddenly wasn’t anything more than the boy.

“That’s not fair,” Amelia snapped, and Edgar could have hugged her for it. “If she came clean because of Edgar, it’s because she knew he’d figure her out sooner or later.”

As eyes turned to him, Edgar cleared his throat. “For what it’s worth… I don’t think it was always the case, but I do think she genuinely wants to flip now. We’ve shown her the truth of the war. And besides, she’s terrified of them. She wouldn’t risk crossing them if she didn’t fully believe in our cause.”

He didn’t add that perhaps it was really because her brother fully believed in their cause, and she’d do anything to try and keep Elliot safe. The other Order members might think it was about Edgar, but it wasn’t. Of course, it wasn’t. He was just the fool she’d convinced to let her in.

After the meeting, someone decided he should be the one to tell her, so Edgar strode across the house to where Emma had been made to stay, undoing the locks passed over her bedroom door.

“You’ll be staying here for a while,” he said, trying not to look at her directly. Every time he did, Edgar wanted to cry, and he was sick of feeling weak, of feeling vulnerable. “They want to get information first and verify it, figure out if you can really be trusted anymore.”

There was a lump in his throat, but Edgar forced himself to talk through it.

“You’ll see Moody the most probably. Caradoc too. Perhaps Robyn if she has something deemed safe enough to try.” He really didn’t want to look at Emma as he said that. He’d been against the idea. It had been tabled as a ‘we’ll see’ scenario. Elliot will be allowed to see you on occasion but only with supervision.”

He hesitated, finally looking at her directly. “No one wants you to feel like a captive, but… Well, it’ll take time before you can be trusted again. If you can be. I hope you understand.”

Emma was looking at the ground, but she finally glanced up, those large eyes that had initially drawn him in capturing his heart all over again. “And you?” she asked softly. “Will I see you?”

“I…” Edgar squeezed his eyes shut and took a breath. “I don’t know. I have a lot to think about.”

Emma nodded, though it seemed more for her own benefit than his. Her voice was shaky as she added, “I’m sorry. But you’ll take care of Duke?”

Edgar turned away. He couldn’t do this. He was about to start sobbing. “Yeah,” he managed, his voice cracking. “I’ll take care of Duke.”

He kept to his word. It was clear the big oaf didn’t know where Emma had gone, but he’d always been a loving dog. He’d taken to Edgar right from the beginning, and perhaps that was why he seemed to content to hang out at Edgar’s, to go without seeing his owner. Duke probably thought it was some kind of vacation filled with walks and a new bed.

Eventually Emma had proved herself. Edgar tried not to count the days.

“Can he… Can he keep staying with you?” she asked quietly. “I’m going to be living here still for a while. Moody thought it would be— He wants me to check in every day. To stay close.” Those damned eyes. “Duke needs more freedom than he could have here where he’d have to stay cooped up to avoid being under foot.

“Yeah,” Edgar said, not letting his eyes linger on her mouth. “He can stay with me a little longer. Elliot comes to visit him sometimes.”

She made a noise like he’d just shattered her heart. “Good. They both deserve it. I… I’m sorry.”

He brought Duke to headquarters sometimes. No one was heartless enough to suggest Emma didn’t deserve to see her dog. They did suggest Edgar should untangle himself.

“You’re going to get your heart broken,” James advised. “It can’t be easy seeing her this often.”

Edgar just snorted. “You of all people should know I can’t walk away.”

James didn’t say anything in return. He did throw a box of dog biscuits Edgar’s way the next time they crossed paths.

It was Amelia almost a month later who pulled him aside and asked, “Are you going to give her another chance?”

“I doubt that’s a good idea.”

His sister’s expression softened. “That doesn’t mean you don’t want to.”

He closed his eyes and let her pull him into a hug. She may have been shorter than him, but Edgar did a good job of curling himself up against her shoulder. “I keep wishing I could go back in time, but I can’t even settle on what for. Do I want to stop her from joining us? From joining them? From ever entering my life?” He hesistated but forced himself on. “Do I want to stop myself from falling in love?”

“You’ve always cared too much too easily,” Amelia said.

“Trusted too much too.”

She squeezed him hard, the hug reassuring in its ability to push the air from his lungs. “Kindness isn’t a weakness. You’re too good for this. I don’t mean better than. I mean too good.”

Edgar was sobbing in his sister’s arms before he had time to process.

He still brought Duke to see Emma the next day.

“I’m sorry,” she said as he clipped the leash back on to leave. She always did.

“I’ll see you later.”

“It’s too late, isn’t it? I’m not going to get another chance.” Emma’s breath sounded like she was on the verge of tears. Edgar couldn’t even bring himself to be mad at her for it. “I’ve already made you hate me.

“I couldn’t hate you if I tried.” He had. He couldn’t even manage to stop loving her.

#rp writing #banity #my writing

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wiedzmacienia · 6 months

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@everythingheard asked: “i’m gonna fucking kill them.” (kasper)

when you’re as old as she is, centuries used to develop and hone not just magical skills but those in combat and stealth, it is not often that someone is able to get the drop on you. and yet, even she is fallible. even she, as walled off as she can keep herself, could begin to fall in love again (or was it her simply trying to capture an echo and kidding herself into believing it was love? maybe she really was a foolish girl). even she with immortality remains vulnerable to harm. can be taken out, though difficultly, by a well aimed bullet or magical attack. immorality and invulnerability were two different gifts. magic could heal her of many things, this time, however, she knows the extent of the damage is not something to brush off. it’s not something she’s going to mentally be able to bounce back from for a long while either-- though she refuses to even allow herself to go there yet.

she looks too many shades too pale, body littered with dark marks and fresh wounds that she’d woken up to a few moments before though she has vague memories of her brother finding her. of her trying to fight him weakly before realizing it was him. both her and kasper have lived long enough for him to know something of what horrors witch hunters-- especially ones from this order who enjoyed the old tortures-- subjected witches to without her needing to say it. it’s made worse by the knowledge that one of those which had inflicted them upon her had been a man she believed had loved her. how bitter a pill that was to swallow.

(yet maybe a part of her had doubted him all along for she had refused him any knowledge of her own order or her family that had been bore from her union with the man she had truly loved in an all encompassing way.)

it hurts to move and yet she forces herself into a sitting position as if to spite the very injuries that threaten her. it’s going to take fucking weeks for her to recover even with magical intervention.

she supposed part of that was due to how depleted of her power she had become. and it had been so much worse than the one other time such had happened to her because if she had ever believed simcoe a cruel man for his actions toward her during her capture in the past, james had been so much worse. how could she, of all people, let herself get taken down? how could she have allowed herself to be fooled in such an intimate fashion? by someone filled with hatred he poured into the enjoyment he took at her screams as that brand touched her skin-- hatred that had previously hidden behind sweet words. hatred toward witches and who was entirely too well-versed in how to keep a witch from using their abilities. you’d think they were back in the inquisition.

they’d certainly enjoyed their torture techniques-- james certainly had.

it was people like those who had taken her that gave her work purpose, to protect their world from those who would take the knowledge of the eldritch and seek to destroy it. it was something that should never have happened in the world that had been shaped by the war she'd fought in, by the partnership that had been cultivated.

“not before i do. i want their heads on a fucking spire!” she wants to do a lot more than that, wants, in the fury of her emotions, to see their blood stain the floor, everything they love to be wiped from the world, and them to hurt as much as they’d made her to suffer. and she wants to be the one to bring judgement down upon them. to bring judgement upon james. perhaps she’ll save him for last, so that he can cower in fear with the knowledge that his friends were being picked off one by one leading to him. it’d just help if she didn’t feel like shit and her body would cease with the tremble that ran through her of it’s own traitorous volition.

#everythingheard #v; main #time period; turn of the century #answered asks;

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fcb3 · 1 year

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Dating is when we find out who our partner really is, and if we have a foundation worth continuing. This article contains many good insights.

Time to let go - Is is time?

Letting go is one of the hardest things to figure out in life. As your emotions usually cloud your logic, and because your feelings make it harder for you to concentrate, it seems like the art of letting go can be confusing and complicated.

1. You’re expected to sacrifice your personal values and change into someone you’re really not. In this life, your personal values and your vision are the things that make you who you are fundamentally. If your job or your lover or your friend forces you to be someone you’re not, let go.

2. Your trust is continuously broken. You’re vulnerable when you’re in love with an idea, a person, an event, or an accomplishment. They say that loving is letting the other party hurt you, but you’re trusting them not to do this, right? Well, if your lover consistently hurts you, or your loved ones consistently don’t care about your feelings, let go. You’ve already been hurt countless times; what makes you think the pain will stop if you continue holding on? 3. Staying in it always makes you feel broken, depressed and frustrated.

4. You feel inferior. Your self-worth is always under-appreciated. It seems like you never feel good anymore. You’re always taken for granted. Everyone expects you to show up, but when you’re already there, you’re not even respected! When it seems like you’re the only one doing the chasing, please do yourself a favor and just stop. Doing this is like beating yourself up everyday—just let go.

5. You justify that it’s worth holding on, when it’s really not. 6. You can’t remember the last time you were happy. When was the last time you were truly happy—as in really content, really satisfied and really comfortable with yourself? Don’t force yourself, my friend. If you really can’t remember, it’s time to let go and move on.

7. You find that you’re always the one making sacrifices. Are you always the one who has to give up more time? More money? More input? Are you consistently the one who experiences more pain? More frustration? More anxiety? Go ahead and do yourself a favor and stop chasing.

8. Express yourself—when was the last time you did that? If you find that your opinions are always suppressed and your feelings are never acknowledged, why are you still holding on? You know you’re better than this.

9. You refuse to acknowledge the present because it hurts too much. Instead of facing the present situation, you choose to live in the past because in the past, happy memories are there to comfort you. You live in a delusion and you try to fool yourself into thinking that everything will work out in the end, even though every fiber in your being knows that it’s not.

10. There’s inconsistency. Every single time. When the person you’re dealing with has a gift with words, it’s so easy to take the back seat and allow yourself to be swayed. However, keep in mind that not everything can be fixed via words. If he’s saying one thing and then acting another way, it’s usually a bad sign. Your lover promises that he’ll never cheat again, but he does. Let go. Your loved ones promise that they’ll act according to what makes you happy, but they don’t? Let go.

11. You’ve already exhausted all your efforts but everything stays the same. When you’ve done everything that you could, when all the promises that were made are just empty words, when it’s not worth your time, your money, your tears or your frustration anymore… Let go. You’re not living in a fairy tale. People break promises. Lovers hurt you. Not everyone out there is looking out for you. Remove the toxic thought that holding on can change things. Let go and let live. You know you deserve to.

Certainly a shared faith that encourages, builds up, and motivates is a significant factor.

#faith #romance

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funniestsimpalive · 1 year

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Solitude has affect me in so many fucking degrading ways

I get why people feel their only way is killing themselves

I don’t mean to say I would, but it’s obvious that there’s a feeling for never attatching too much to anyone cause ppl just don’t give a shit

I hate that the moment I am alone I remember how fucking miserable I am

I can be surrounded by people feeling empty, and bored, and that I loose my time

But the moment am alone, I crave so much the interaction, the speaking and getting a response, the commenting or whatever

I get sad craving shit that makes me sick too

I say solitude has made trash of me, I can’t believe the person I used to be and who I thought I would be to this age

I believe am close to the time I get too upset to start doing shit even when I always took care not to bother anyone too much

It’s funny how until you don’t market yourself as some way or another you don’t get respect and are taken as some indie weird kid who never settled with reality and just lives in their own mind

It’s so fucking bullshit seeing until you sell yourself to the people who make you less until they can get to understand then it’s okay to be that way even admirable

Lmao

Am not even mad mad, am not actually angry I could make fun of people like that and I wouldn’t mind if they make fun of me, I wouldn’t get offended and am not really sure why, I would say that because I’ve been fooled off too much all my life and I risk to sound such as a crybaby but I am pretty confident that being vulnerable gives you the strength to not loose your mind when someone tries to make fun of your beliefs

And it’s sad I guess

These people get too quickly in not letting anyone fool them or treat them as less or stupid

It’s fucking sad lmao

I hate being with people like that

I wish I was smart enough to be completely able to hang out with people capable of dealing with themselves, with their surroundings and with others people behavior without being rude or irrational

I wish I could understand myself so much I could go that way

I’ve met interesting people this year I wish they could continue in my life

But I know am too much of a coward to talk to them anyways let along keeping that connection

Even if it’s not really hard

I know am a coward because of how much I can get to admire and respect someone

I am simply just a simp more in life

I seriously am so much of a little sibling admiring and blindly following my older sibling

Who would have thought this link would define my life so fucking hard

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nastiiuu · 3 years

Text

Tommy doesn't like touch.

Wilbur came to realise this recently, after coming back from death.

No. Tommy doesn't like touch ANYMORE, he corrects himself as he notices that Tommy doesn't lean on anyone anymore. How he doesn't run up to Tubbo for a hug or how he will not pat Jack on the back with a "It's fine. You suck. Not everyone is a big man like me.". How he just looks sad when little Micheal wants to be picked up and starts trembling when someone get's too close, hand always on his sword.

Tommy hates touch.

But Wilbur wonders if that's true.

They broke into the pool area in Las Nevadas. Wilbur suggested it when they both couldn't sleep and were only boring their asses of sitting there and staring at the ceiling.

So here they were. Under watchful stars and in a city that had a party going on somewhere. Wilbur sitting at the edge of the pool, feet in the water and looking over Tommy who by the likes of it wanted to drown himself.

The blond was currently underwater hands and arms spread out like a starfish, slowly floating up and staying on top of the water for a quick moment before he repeated the procedure. Diving underwater and becoming a starfish. He looked oddly peaceful during it too.

"Why are you doing that?", he asked eventually after watching Tommy do it two more times and getting curious. Tommy never did that. The blond disliked water from what he remembered, always hissing like the gremlin he is when asked to take a bath. But then again, Wilbur missed a lot of Tommy's growth and forgot some parts of Ghostbur's life.

"Doing what?" Wilbur made wild gestures to the water to elaborate. "Ah." Tommy looked down sadly into the lit up pool.

Oh no...emotional stuff we don't do that, thought the brunette and was ready to backpaddle if it wasn't for the quiet " 'is nice" from the other.

"What?"

"It's nice. You know, it's everywhere. Kinda. Doesn't hurt me and I don't know. Just nice."

OK we will do the emotional stuff then. Fucking. Alright. Doesn't hurt. Everywhere.

Tommy. Hates. Touch.

Well that is a lie then. A miscalculation. A misinterpretation. Wilbur is a fool.

"Tommy come here. Sit. Sit fucking down. Out of the water"

"What. Why?

"Just do it come on. Here." He pats the place besides him.

He waits for Tommy to sit down. It was so awkward. It hadn't been this awkward before Wilbur died, before he went insane, before Tommy stopped receiving touch and finding comfort under the fucking water instead of in another living breathing being.

"OK bitch, I'm sitting what do you- "

"Can I hug you?"

"Wilbur what are you-"

"Can I hug you?"

"I-" Wilbur watched as the other started to tremble, bringing his arms up to hug himself or to protect himself. Fuck. Ok. He can do this.

He stood up and ignored the little flinch from Tommy. Went to get one of the big towels people used to lay down on to sunbath. Came back and started wrapping Tommy into it like a sushi, careful not to touch any skin. "I will not touch you directly or hurt you or anything just. Fuck. Can I hug you?"

If it were for different circumstances he would have coooed at the wide blue eyed stare he got from Tommy. Tommy, who looked so innocent staring from a towel and looking confused. Who's blond locks escaped the towel and were in his face. Who looked soft and vulnerable and not like a soldier but a tired kid.

"Sure?"

Good enough, thinks Wilbur and brings his arms up to slowly hold Tommy close. He is still tembeling and Wilbur makes sure to stand still and not to fucking move or else Tommy will bolt and the bonding time will be over and he will not be able to give his little brother the hug, he so desperately needed, or that he himself needed but no one was here to judge that.

And if Tommy moved at some point and nuzzled into Wilbur's chest and his clothes started to get wet, then it was because Tommy just splashed around in the pool and it had no connection to the quiete sobs that could be heard from him.

And if Wilbur joined in on the sobs and held his little brother closer then it was no one else's business but their own.

#wilbur #tommyinnit #crime boys #dsmp #dsmp fanfic #i never write #like never #so pls be gentle with me lmao #but yes #touchstarved tommy and wilbur go brr i guess

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