#so. im in a new school and. wow. first off. hate to say it but man mexico really is a third world country huh. it fuckin hurts to admit it -

[bellflower-goat]

hm.

#okay so #didnt really feel like saying it but its fine now so yeah #like. tumblr's supposed to b used like a journal of sorts so yeah feel like i can say that there #so. im in a new school and. wow. first off. hate to say it but man mexico really is a third world country huh. it fuckin hurts to admit it - #-but like its.painfully obvious now just. man. it sorta sucks to realize just how little resources ma old school had to work with n stuff #and now im going to an equally “bad” school and. it looks so. its so. its so much man! like i couldnt even dream of shit like this #and theyre just like yrah its nice not the best best but its nice :) when this is so so much more than ive ever seen in ma damn life like #what???? it confuses me a lot but alright #also outta topic but. man this shits got me very tired like yeasterday finished school went to eat at a cool place got home and. #and i just.slept till the next day like what?? ive done that maybe once. or twice before but those times were on purpose #like man. so like i fell asleep for a ''nap'' like at 5. and woke up the next day at like 8 hm. #that makes for 16 hours. inchresting

[hotchs-big-hands]

oh oh oh!!! and if jack liked you!!! ooooooh my god that lady would have a fucking conniption frrrr. jack coming home from aaron and yours place all happy like "look mommy!! reader helped me draw this for you!!" and shes soooo angry because she hs to smile at jack and be like "oh wow honey thats amazing. that a really nice picture!" but her hands are shaking with rage.

or when he comes home from school one day and hes like "reader did my hair and helped me picj out my outfit for picture day today because daddy said i looked too messy" and shes pissed tf off bc she hates you and is trying to paint you as this evil bad influence meanwhile jack fucking LOVES YOUUUUU.

"reader makes her pancakes into heart shapes because she says the only way for boys to grow strong is with love" and now jack wont eat her pancakes if they arent heart shaped. jack has to make a family tree for school and he made his as HB - AH+R and includes your family since aaron only has sean and haley cracks and yells at him that "reader isnt his family. reader isnt aarons family. reader has no place in their family tree and he needs to accept that mommy and daddy are his only real family" and ooooh boy when aaron finds out hes fookin fumin babes. and she tries to accuse you of trying to replace her but aaron shuts that shit down like "youre the only woman in the world that could think your kid being loved and cared for is a bad thing. would you rather she abused him? she loves him and he love her. im going to marry that woman eventually so she has every right to be on that family tree and you need to get used to it."

and when he tells you what he said you literally do not let that man out of bed for hours like uuuggghh yesss hottie tottie defend my honor and tell off your ex? youve earned yourself 5 free orgasms for surree

😭😭😭😭😭 JACKKKKKKKK he's such a cutie I love himmmmmm!!!!!!! Haley yelling at him over the family tree is so fucking evil like she rly is the type to rather have her kid be hated and abused by his stepmother than be adored and loved.

Aaron finds out cuz Jack is crying in his room and the family tree has been ripped up. You tell Aaron that Jack wouldn't let you in the room, but it's killing you knowing he's so distraught abt smth. So Aaron sits with him on the bed and asks him what's going on? At first Jack is hesitant but then he full on wails abt what Haley said and Aaron sits quietly and tries not to show he's fucking abt to explode with anger. So he comforts him and says Jack can choose his family. It's entirely his choice and if he wants you in his life then that's okay.

So Jack cries even harder cuz now he's like well my family tree is ruined now :((( so yknow what Aaron does? Gets his office supplies and he and Jack make a new family tree. But Jack wants you to join in too! And so when you're called into the room it's hard not to cry when Jack says he wants you to help with the project 😭😭😭😭😭😭 the new one is on sturdy paper, and Aaron frames it so Jack can hang it on his wall 🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖💖💖

As for the last bit? Aaron absolutely earned all those orgasms 🫣🫣🫣🫣

#cutie kenzie #💌 ah asks #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader

[moonlitlex]

i have so much to say abt chalice of the gods so im just gonna copy paste my review from goodreads here. you can also read it on goodreads

ok. i promised i would hate this book. and i do. i hate this book. i also hate rick riordan. in addition, i hate capitalism. i promise that’s relevant.

let’s talk about the book now. i’ll cover the things i love first. i love percy jackson. i love grover. i love annabeth. i love sally. i love paul. i love percy annabeth and grover together. all of these things are very obvious and self-explanatory. percy is hands down THE main character of all time. i have nothing bad to say about him. his literal fatal flaw is loyalty. he’s actually perfect and has no flaws. this is expected from the son of sally jackson, the perfect person. paul is sweet and kind to sally and that’s really all that matters. annabeth is awesome and supportive and so is grover and they’re all besties forever. you get it. you’ve read percy jackson.

the jokes are better than before. there are definitely some legitimately funny jokes in this book, which i was really missing from the last few rick riordan installments. and i don’t think this is because rick suddenly got funnier. i think it’s because this style of joke works for percy. of all of rick’s protagonists, percy seems the most natural fit for these jokes.

sally is great. grover and annabeth are generally on form. so is percy, as much as can be expected from rick riordan at this point. i will elaborate on this later.

now to complain. this is the stupidest premise i’ve ever heard of. percy is a high school senior. he is going to go to new rome university. he needs 3 divine recommendations. this is already a stupid premise but don’t worry, it gets worse. poseidon reveals that the reason percy needs these recommendations is that it’s a special requirement for him specifically made by zeus. and the reason he gets to have this stupid requirement is that he’s a child of the big three and shouldn’t exist.

hello. zeus. yes, lord zeus, it’s me. alexis.

what the absolute FUCK are you saying.

this doesn’t MAKE SENSE. the only reason percy shouldn’t have existed was that the gods had a stupid pact to not have any kids because of a stupid prophecy. two things here. one - that prophecy is OVER. everything turned out fine. thanks to percy jackson. you’re welcome, gods of olympus. two - percy has literally saved olympus TWICE now. two times. this is genuinely such a dumb and made up reason to send percy on a quest that i can’t even turn my brain off and enjoy it. it’s not fun. leave percy alone. LEAVE HIM ALONE.

it’s literally insane how stupid this setup is. rick keeps writing books about how the gods are horrible and take advantage of the demigods and the demigods live terrible lives. in this book, percy has LITERALLY saved olympus TWICE and motherfucking zeus (literally) had to be talked down from making him get 25 letters of recommendation to 3. this is AFTER percy spent 3 years in pjo almost being killed and got his memory wiped for 6-8 months depending on which book you read in hoo and then got sent on a quest to save the entire world AGAIN. this CHILD got like a 2-4 month break (depending on which book you’re reading) and he woke up with no fucking memory and had to spend like 2 more months fighting monsters and the literal primordial earth goddess. and now he has to go on literally pointless quests that someone who didn’t just get back home from saving the actual world could ALSO just do. because he needs to get some fucking letters of recommendation.

look. genuinely. percy jackson should snap at this point in the story. this boy should’ve snapped like at least 5 books ago. at minimum. rick wrote the perfect setup to show us percy’s instant descent into madness. he should LOSE it. all the gods have done for the ENTIRE time he’s known he’s a demigod is treat demigods like disposable tools. this is the point in the story where percy goes. wow. luke was right. you guys are all assholes who don’t care about us even a little bit. i am NOT saying what needs to follow is a fanfic-esque dark!percy story where he successfully destroys olympus or something. what i AM saying. is at bare minimum this is where percy goes you know what fuck you i hate you guys and washes his hands of being a demigod at least temporarily. at the very least he should sit back and think yeah, i don’t really want to go to new rome university. it’s not worth it. i will just go to a different university. look. it’s percy jackson. he can literally one shot all but the most fearsome monsters (typhon, the giants, a drakon, etc). he is literally going to be 100% completely fine going to mortal university AND he wont have to deal with zeus’s annoying ass.

listen. MY percy jackson wanted to kill smelly gabe as a 12 year old because he abused his mother. MY percy jackson doesn’t like bullies. MY percy jackson challenged ares to a fight just on the basis that ares was a fucking asshole.

MY percy jackson is not going on useless fucking quests to go to new rome university of all places.

which reminds me. why DOES he want to go to new rome university. this is percy jackson. he LOVES new york. why is percy “what did they do to my city” jackson going to university ACROSS THE COUNTRY from the city he loves. why is he doing that. and hey look. sally and paul (and soon estelle) are ALSO going to be in new york. so like WHY is he leaving for real. percy my fatal flaw is loyalty jackson. IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE OK! it’s percy he is seriously not going to have issues with common monsters attacking him. we literally saw him fight off titans and giants a fucking hellhound isn’t gonna get his ass. WHY is he leaving. it does NOT make sense.

there’s this scene ok. where sally tells them she’s pregnant. and percy’s like oh my god…. i’m going to be in california…. and my sister is going to be here…. and i was just sitting there going. yeah bro. why are you going to california. i literally do not understand. you literally are from nyc. you live here. your family is here. your friends from chb are like a short pegasus ride away. there are like 50 universities in new york. just go here. why are you leaving. you are percy jackson. being a new yorker is literally one of your defining traits. stay here. WHY AR EYOU LEAVING I DO NOT UNDERSTAND PERSEUS

and listen. if your argument is that annabeth is going to be in nru. why the FUCK is ANNABETH going to nru!!!!! WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT!!!! EXPLAIN IT!!!! percy LITERALLY says annabeth is such an overachiever she’s already run out of ap classes to take. he literally says that. why the fuck is this girl going to nru where let’s be real her admission is guaranteed. annabeth is 100% someone who would want to go to an ivy. and would you fucking believe it there’s an ivy right here in nyc. like let’s be fucking realistic here. annabeth started her architecture career at SIXTEEN designing the city the fucking GODS live in. so like. don’t you think she’d want to be a bit more challenged. don’t you think she’d want to go to a university that is actually recognizable to mortals. annabeth did NOT love new rome that much like did richard forget what he wrote. this girl was freaking out about new rome until percy said he only likes it because they could live together there. she literally does not care about new rome and she is WAY too ambitious and academically inclined to be happy with going to some small as uni 99% of employers have never heard of.

this isn’t even the worst character assassination in the book. that award goes to the way rick wrote percy. percy. my darling percy. my beloved percy. perseus jackson. light of my life. as i said before, he is MOSTLY on form. the him really wanting to cali thing is definitely ooc for him but it is NOTHING compared to the sheer amount of times rick portrays percy as stupid in this accursed novel. his internal monologue is constantly shit like i’m always so behind annabeth and omg i’m being so dumb right now and annabeth calls me seaweed brain because i’m an idiot and blah blah fucking blah.

dick riordan has forgotten that perseus jackson is, in fact, not stupid at all. he is INCREDIBLY clever. he is just not particularly academically inclined/not very book smart and it would also be perfectly understandable given the fucking books that riordan wrote to interpret that as percy being very discouraged from engaging with his studies. he genuinely enjoys chiron’s class at yancy because chiron is an engaging teacher and encourages him. he spends 90% of his time in pjo deducing what’s going on with extremely limited information because rick decided none of the characters can tell him anything because of plot and exposition reasons. in son of neptune he literally just coasts on having sherlockian (not bbc that’s a whole other angry review) powers of deduction. to the point where the characters around him are amazed at how he’s figuring stuff out. literally in house of hades annabeth’s pov’s are constantly her commenting on how she gives percy shit for being a dumbass but he’s actually really clever.

it genuinely feels like at some point during the writing of mark of athena rick decided to just slowly start making various fanon ideas canon. percy being stupid is very commonly accepted fanon because he doesn’t realize how smart he is (and fans don’t realize he’s an unreliable narrator) and the fans also love to infantilize characters with more in your face adhd (leo is another victim of this phenomenon). we’ve spent 5 books in percy’s head and he doesn’t think he’s particularly clever so it makes sense to ignore the mountains of evidence pointing towards his quick and creative thought process in favour of haha percy is dumb jokes.

the wild thing is, percy isn’t even that hard on himself in pjo. he obviously doesn’t see himself in the same way we later come to find out other people see him (mainly thinking about hazel and frank in son of neptune, which is the only time in hoo he genuinely feels like the same character as pjo percy) but he’s not really dealing with crazy self doubt and self esteem issues. he does have his down on himself moments but they’re all extremely understandable given the context because he literally faces impossible odds in every single pjo book. at one point he’s disappointed he couldn’t tell that ares and luke manipulated him… like yes bestie that’s a very valid thing to feel upset and betrayed about. it doesn’t mean that he’s actually stupid though and genuinely he comes across more as humble and not realizing just how awesome and cool and interesting he is than anything else. percy consistently shows that he is really clever. half of pjo is percy figuring out a new and interesting way of defeating his enemies and the other half is percy figuring out how to bait his enemies into a duel to improve his odds. it’s horrible what rick does to percy in his internal monologue.

it’s to an insane degree. yes i realize i have already written 500 words about percy not being stupid alone but i must stress how egregious this is. it’s literally characters who have previously acknowledged percy’s intelligence who start remarking about how he’s stupid. in house of hades percy and annabeth get out of fucking TARTARUS and reyna makes a jab about how percy wouldn’t be able to find his way out of a paper bag without annabeth. that is an INSANE thing to say for reyna and for rick. rick has not written a stupid character so it’s weird to make that something a character does without really trying to show them being wrong. from reyna’s perspective, this is a guy she was complimenting a few short weeks ago. this is a guy she immediately wanted to make a leader at the camp that she loves and is her home. this is guy she barely knows and she pretty much immediately proposes to him. WHY would she suddenly start making jokes about how dumb he is? it’s not like she actually knows him better now. he came to the battle with reinforcements and basically immediately dipped after the feast. how are we to accept reyna treating our beloved perseus in this horrific manner? we simply cannot. it is unnacceptable. this is inaccurate.

it’s so WRONG to do this to percy. yES I UNDERSTAND I HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR TOO LONG. I DON’T CARE. PERCY JACKSON IS MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE AND I NEED TO DEFEND HIM FROM THIS SLANDER. I AM ONLY PARTIALLY JOKING. listen. liSTEN. this is the guy whose signature move is manipulate your enemy into dueling with you when you’re outnumbered or outmatched. he very coolly manipulated bob into killing his own brother (btw this was very hot and sexy and clever and attractive perseus is king of gaslight gatekeep girlboss). he is NOT stupid. he is impulsive. he is extremely oblivious about some things. he is NOT stupid. i watched perseus jackson grow up for 5 books and he is not stupid. i always say this. i always say that percy is not stupid and richard riordan refuses to listen to me.

there are such horrendous lines as “i am a guy of limited talents. if i can’t kill it with water, a sword, or sarcasm, i’m basically defenseless.” richard how DARE you say this about my beloved perseus. he is NEVER like this. he literally would never say that. even at absolute worst percy’s internal monologue was “this plan is stupid and will get us killed. but it’s the plan i have.” he’s NOT a being defenseless guy. what hte fuck are you saying. richard did you read your own books. RICHARD. DID YOU. at one point he says that he is constantly several steps behind annabeth’s thought process. he has literally never thought this before and it is also untrue. richard. i hate you. read your own fucking books oh my god.

ok. i think i have sufficiently harped on the fact that percy is not stupid. now i will complain about another thing. and this was just in one part but it bothered me and this is my review so i get to talk about whatever i want. if you don’t like it read someone else’s review. don’t hate read my review. i didn't charge you money to read it

at one point, percy has to wrestle a god who hercules once wrestled. and annabeth says something about hercules brute forcing it. and look. i GET that hercules was freakishly strong. i get that. i understand it. but when annabeth says hercules just brute forced it they’re both like ah shit i can’t do that. perseus. beloved. you ripped the minotaurs horn off its head with your bare hands as a 12 year old with no training. you are literally insanely strong as is. that is an insane thing for a 12 year old to be able to do. hell, that would be an insane thing for a grown adult to do. i don’t think rick realizes how op percy is. he was so caught up in making percy cool (which is, you know, extremely understandable and right and correct percy jackson is the coolest man in fiction for a reason i get it) that he forgot that he made percy extremely unbelievably powerful too. with the curse of achilles he was potentially matching minor gods in power level. he fights while sustaining mini-hurricanes and explodes glaciers and shit.

some more things. the prose is… acceptable. the plot reads like a fever dream. there is a smoothie shop called himbo juice that annabeth percy and grover are evidently regulars at. and there are. himbos. that serve. juice. so you can imagine what this fever dream looks like. like the last couple rick riordan releases, this one reads like published fanfiction too, just with better quality of writing than the sun and the star.

there are some WEIRD continuity errors in here. one of them is fairly minor but i still noticed it - percy says his father compared his mother to a princess. this is not true. poseidon compared sally to a queen. specifically, he called her “a queen among women”. i know this because i am sally jackson’s number 1 fan.

more egregiously, however, is annabeth’s yankees cap heebie jeebies. percy puts on annabeths’s cap and gets the heebie jeebies while using it. and then he goes wow annabeth. you never told me that using the cap is like this. and annabeth is like yeah well. power is like that. richard. riordan. did you fucking FORGET that percy has, in fact, worn annabeth’s cap before. and it was literally completely. once again, richard, did you read your own books.

one more good thing - when percy fights geras/gary, who is the god/personification of old age, the way he does it is by imagining him and his friends getting older and embracing it. this was a genuinely good and sweet moment and it was very touching. the trio’s talks about this after the fact are also absolutely a return to form from riordan. for like, a few paragraphs. but still.

the biggest problem is just how obvious it is that this book is a cash grab. we had pjo. then we had a sequel series. then we had ANOTHER sequel series. and now we’re getting random standalone novels that are extremely unnecessary and don’t add anything. rick riordan has dollar signs in his eyes. these are not stories that make sense. these are not stories rick genuinely wanted to tell. these are stories that are being told because the purpose of publishing books now is to maximize profit. (sidebar - i told you the capitalism thing would be relevant. you should believe me more often. smh) the only reason rick is still writing these books is that they make money. they feel extremely empty and hollow.

percy is trapped as a teenager forever because rick refuses to let him age up. percy accepting old age would make FAR more sense for a percy who’s in his 20’s and just now realizing that he lived past all the shit he thought was going to kill him and he has a real life that he likes and he could actually grow old now. but percy must be a child for marketing purposes, so he stays a child. the world itself is trapped in a cycle of the gods promising they’ll be better and the gods literally not changing at all. and for the sake of the book series, it can’t change. if we had real change in the world, that would actually mean something, silly. we can’t have consequences. we have to reset every 5 years like a fucking comic book so that we can make infinite money. this is the infinite money glitch irl. just make trash that doesn’t need to be made. the end point of capitalism is making trash no one asked for that has no artistic merit just because you can make money off of it.

by the way, dr emily wilson’s iliad translation, which was also out on the same day, is LESS expensive than this book. this cashgrab nonsense novel is MORE expensive than a book a professor in classics who has a phd spent 4 years on. this is just wrong. the fun and stupid cashgrab book should NOT be more expensive than a book that someone spent 4 years meticulously translating from ancient greek. it’s just so clear and in your face. trials of apollo absolutely felt like a cashgrab but at least there was SOME semblance of effort there. this is literally just the most plain and simple cashgrab novel you can make.

hey. you know the infinite monkey theorem? the infinite monkey theorem is that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type any given text including shakespeare. richard riordan is a monkey with a typewriter. you get it. you’ve read percy jackson.

rick riordan struck gold with pjo. it’s genuinely to this day one of my favourite things i’ve ever read, flaws and all. it’s FUN. it’s COOL. it’s THEMATICALLY COHESIVE. the characters grow and change. they feel like real people with personalities. it literally doesn’t even matter how op percy is because THAT’S how good of a character he is. he is so compelling that you want to read about him anyway even though you can tell right from the minotaur fight that this kid can decimate whatever opponent he has. the books are funny and moving because you can genuinely connect to these characters. the more i read rick riordan’s work, the more certain i am that pjo was a fluke. i don’t think he knows what he’s doing. i think he should retire from writing.

unfortunately for me, richard riordan seems to have no intention of retiring. he has announced another percy jackson book that will be released next year. i assume there will be at least 2 more books based on the setup in this one.

rick. listen. i know you’re listening because what else will you do with your time. rick, why are you doing this. hasn’t percy been through enough. when will it end. give it a rest. stop it. get some help. at the very least, read your own books before writing percy. i am right about him and you are wrong about him. you are the author and i’m killing you right now. i am strangling you and i am hitting you with weapons. all at once. i am very proficient at causing deaths. (this is a metaphor referring to roland barthes’ death of the author. i wish no bodily harm to richard riordan).

this book is… alright. percy is my smart king. sally jackson is queen of my heart. it’s a fun read but you do have to turn your brain off completely and read through some serious percy defamation.

[edit: i am downgrading this book to one star (was at 2). the more i think about it, the more angry i am. there is literally a paragraph tailor made to rub jason's death in our faces. it's about how he looks forward to getting old being married to piper and having grandchildren. it's a very low blow. jason is literally rick riordan's biggest missed opportunity and he's rubbing in how poorly he treated jason even after killing him off for apollo's character development.

annabeth still keeps putting percy down because rick doesn't realize how mean she is i guess. she's still scared of him. canonically. which is a really weird and fucked up thing to write imo. this relationship doesn't seem healthy in canon (they are healthy in my head, however, because i know what women are like) but rick refuses to address it or let them break up. i LOVE annabeth. i love her. but she is an extremely flawed character and rick never treats her as such. and it just makes it exhausting to read about her.

percy IS on form but it genuinely feels like he's tlt percy, not post hoo percy. his inner voice sounds way more immature than it has for most of pjo and in son. riordan also repurposes the "look, i didn't want to be a half-blood" line from tlt to make a dumb little joke about how high school is hard. it was a GOOD opening line. it immediately set the tone and told us so much about percy in literally just a handful of words. now it's a joke about how being a senior in high school sucks. it's this mcu-esque allergy to being sincere that pjo never had.

there is BARELY any grover in this book. i love grover so much that i was cheering any time he was there, but there is very little of him. he's in like 2 or 3 scenes and has his own side plot going on with juniper and being bad at understanding what his girlfriend wants or whatever. extremely unnecessary and not what i want for grover. this book kind of ends up feeling like it's about annabeth but from percy's perspective. she gets good moments at percy's expense. percy spends the book monologuing about how annabeth is way smarter than him and all he has is his sick ass water powers and the best swordfighting skill in 300 years, both of which are very downplayed. percy explodes a river and it's treated like this crazy freaky scary thing but two years ago in universe he made a volcano erupt and everyone was like yeah this makes sense percy is that powerful. in son he explodes a glacier and it's just a normal tuesday for him. he literally doesn't even react to it. and now we're supposed to believe his exploding and purifying a river feat is some unbelievable feat.]

in conclusion, i want a refund. no i did not purchase this book. however, i would like to be reimbursed about $5000 in emotional damages. i will also be suing richard riordan for defamation on percy’s behalf. good night new york city. and my beloved perseus jackson who lives in new york city.

#alexis.exe #pjo #cotg crit #rr crit #cotg spoilers #cotg #i hope yall who dont want negative stuff have the crit tag blacklisted lol dont come at me

[thatflatenedfrogontheroad]

I made a tier list...

please make your own!! I need to see boomer nations opinions on our man!!!! I know the tiers are actually so vile so change them if you desire :)))

OK so my quick blurb on why they are their!! (working worst to best)

28. Identity Crisis #5 - HE WOULD KILL ME FOR THE FUN OF IT. It did bring about the most random rivalry between Tim drake’s fandom and boomer's which is very funny

27. Black Lantern - Oh no… he's back… like a boomerang. Ate his own son... RIP…. L skill issue

26. Sliver Age - Would actually call me a slur and say that I don't deserve rights. He would hate crime me and then solicit me for sex. He looks like he's wearing a dress… what a pretty lady.

25. Flash TV Show - EWWWWWWWW, he though he ate...

24. DC Online - He looks like he would punch me in face at a NYC bus stop

23. White Lantern - Don't look at me like that… stop. He's back from the dead like a boomerang?? Something about most of the New 52 boomerangs don't hit the same. the bride all in white :’)

22. Young Justice - Gave me the ick. You might be thinking... he looks identical to SS hell to pay, why is he down here?? Great question… HE WAS SO CREEPY TO ONE OF THE GIRLS IN YOUNG JUSTICE….. WHO IS A MINOR!

21. Injustice Movie - Just because your in the background… doesn't save you from this list!!!

20. New 52 - Ok he's kinda hot if you look through your peripherals…Why are you wearing skinny jeans… you millennial

19. Harley Quinn TV Show - He's fine… just fine. “We’ll stack out bingo… Boomer loves an older woman” NO HE MUST LOVE ME! I AM VERY VERY MATURE FOR MY AGE

18. Flash: Sins of the Father - Can you please stop talking in the 3rd person… you are starting to sound crazy.

17. Most Wanted - I know jack shit about him. That's probably because he is barely in a comic issues THATS NAMED AFTER HIM!

16. Flash Point Paradox - His fight scene actually ate. I'm a sucker for Boomer being with the Rogues. If cyborg can take his belt off… so can I

15. Suicide Squad 2021 - Wow they somehow gave him even less lines than his first movie. 1. He doesnt look like boomer. 2. His accent is so bad… and hes AUSTRALIAN 3. His acting low key kinda mid 4. They killed off two of the only OG suicide squad members they had on the cast 5. He dies in the first 20min and in the most disrespectful way

14. Suicide Squad 2016 - The only good thing to come from this man is the fanfiction he brought. THIS FUCKING MOVIE MADE HIM A CANON BRONY WHICH I CAN NOT FORGIVE. GET THIS OUT OF MY SMUT BEFORE FREAK THE FUCK OUT >:( Fuck him and pinky too, you son of a bitch!!!! (its not that serious lol... i just want him to stop fucking a toy horse... please guys)

13. This Goober Alien Guy - I know nothing. He just kinda showed up… and I'm not mad just a little confused. He looks like he needs a hot chocolate and a hug :)))) 

12. Lego Batman Movie - Low key an icon. What I would do to get my hands on one of these sets… I would come close to killing someone for it

11. DC Lego Super Villains - If he wasn't Lego I would propose (Shane Dawson style) Once again what I would do for the very discontinued Lego set tie in…

10. Batman: Brave and The Bold - Those cheekbones could cut someone. Why are you wear a mini skirt… take it off ;)

9. Suicide Squad (comic) - Yes I know he was drinking and driving but he's not real so it doesn't count!!! The beginning of the Boomer Mobile! THE GAP TOOTH DUDE!

8. Justice League Unlimited S1 - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ok the hairline is… bad…. But so is mine twin!! I LOVE THAT THEY GAVE HIM PROPER CLOTHES AND NOT RAGS DUDE

7. Agent of Oz - is this picture is my school profile pic...yes… and??HE'S COVERED IN BLOOD AND IM GIGGLING!!!!!!!!!!!

6. Stjepan Sejic's Boomer - Choke hold and choke me...  I want to hear his voice but he can't break his mewing streak…The ungodly things I would let him do to me

5. Dark: Apocalypse War - Constantine! Boomer! GIRLS! GIRLS!! ILL SLEEP WITH BOTH OF YOU!!! I was not expecting him in this movie so I started to freak out when he showed up DUDE. PLEASE LET ME SIT ON IT

4. Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay - I'm a ride he wouldn't survive… I DONT HAVE WORDS TO DECRIBE HOW I FEEL DUDE… I WOULD DO ANYTHING HE ASKED FOR NO JOKE. Dead on the floor

3. Justice League Unlimited S2 - The glow up in REAL... had me on my hands and knees as a 3rd grader… and still on my knees today. I have never wanted someone to fuck me in the back alleyway of a shit bar so bad in my life

2. Batman: Assault on Arkham - The one that started it all… he is the reason I am this way. no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom BUT GREG ELLIS IS PUBLIC ENIME NUMDER ONE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!!

AND THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!! WE ALL SAW IT COMING

1. Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League - I AM GNAWING ON THE IRON BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!!!! He has it all, the face, the VOICE, the look, the character!!!!! It is hands down the most consistently good representation of captain boomerang out their… and its canon that's he has a big dick :D I would sell my first born to get one night…

Thank you all for reading this word vom, I am sick in the head <3

if any of the comic issues are off or something please let me know :)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your our and tag me!! i need to see them <3<3<3

#captain boomerang #dc villains #digger harkness #george digger harkness #rouges #kill the justice league #captain boomerang x reader

[creative-caramel-coffee]

The Ebony Wings of Hydra - CH 2

Pairings: Wanda x R

Word count: 2.2K

Summary: you have a nightmare and Wanda and nat help you.

TW: panic attack, flashback, death (mentioned), nightmares, touch deprivation, touch therapy

A/n a very fluffy (and kinda short) chapter for y’all :)

They had given you a room. Not a cell. A whole room to yourself. When Wanda had shown it to you, she watched with an amused grin as you paced and inspected every small part of it.

After your shopping spree you had a set of coloured pencils, paints, markers and a whole host of mechanical pencils, rubbers and even a premium sketchbook. Wanda had insisted after she caught you drawing in the communal lounge.

*flashback*

“Hey y/n have you seen my-“ Wanda said walking into the room pausing by your shoulder. You were sat drawing on a piece of scrap paper. So involved in it you hadn’t noticed her presence. “Wow.” Wanda said unintentionally. You flinched, not having heard her get closer.

“Sorry.” Wanda said with a small smile cross grimace. “That’s really amazing y/n” she said pointing. You grinned sheepishly and cover it with spread fingers the tips of your ears turning pink. Wanda reached over your shoulder and pried your fingers away with little resistance. The drawing was Wanda in the kitchen cooking pancakes from earlier that morning. “You really have a skill y/n.” Wanda said smiling softly. “Im defiantly talking to Steve about getting you some more art supplies. You cant keep using this” she gestured to the 50c mechanical pencil you were holding. You frowned “why not?” You said and Wanda laughed.

“Its not very artist-y i honestly don’t even know where you found that. Tony hates cheap stationary.” She grinned.

“I think pepper keeps replacing Tony’s fancy pens with them. I caught her swapping them and she explained his pet peeve and how hers is him not turning up to meetings so this is her payback.” You grinned. Wanda looked slightly shocked.

“You met pepper?”

“Yeah after breakfast i was looking for tony to thank him. She gave me one of them” you grinned.

*end flashback*

It had now been almost 24 hours since you first arrived. The team was adjusting to your presence but most weren’t at the compound. Clint was with his kids. Nat was on a mission but was supposed to be getting home soon. Bruce was in his lab. Bucky and Sam had to go on a mission with Steve. Wanda and you had been spending time together. And tony seemed to be getting mad about something and had locked himself in his lab where pepper had been bringing him food between her meetings claiming he can’t live off coffee. Peter was busy with school and Kate and Yelena were who knows where.

The last 24 hours had been frustrating for tony, he was desperate to know how you were enhanced. But Friday didn’t know either just saying you had modified genetics and since tony had freaked you out in the med bay, aside from thanking him, Wanda and Natasha had barred him from seeing you until you were better.

It was now 11pm, you had stayed up late and started a new drawing. You tossed and turned for a bit, as nice as it was you were unused to a bed and it was too soft to sleep on. After a few minutes you grabbed the blanket and a pillow and moved to the floor. Sighing it felt more familiar. It wasn’t long until the exhaustion caught up and you drifted off.

Nat had just gotten back. She had a drink of water in the kitchen and had showered at the safe house before coming back. Now she just wanted to slip into something comfy and go to sleep. She caught the elevator back to her floor. She shared the level with the other girls, you and Wanda and sometimes Yelena when she stayed at the tower. There was also the spare room which was Kate’s when she was here.

Stepping off the elevator nat chuckled at the flickering lights and muffled sounds from under Wanda’s door. She had obviously fallen asleep watching sitcoms again. Nat carefully opened the door, whispering to Friday to turn it off once she saw Wanda asleep. Friday turned it off and nat turned out the light before leaving. Wandas little red nightlight glowed softly. Since Pietro died she found the dark suffocating and it was always so much worse when she woke in a cold sweat from a nightmare in the dark. Nat was the only one who knew as she suggested and bought it for Wanda after calming her down one night.

Nat’s feet carried her down the hall she pausing at your door listening for movement to see if you were sleeping. She frowned. Small whimpers could be heard past the door. Just as nat placed her hand on the door knob a blood curdling scream came from within the room. Nat was inside in an instance. Almost panicking when she saw the empty bed until her gaze lowered to where you sat shaking on the floor. She slowly came to your side. Tears were streaming down your face. White knuckled hands gripped the blanket as you shuddered with each uneven breath you drew. Your eyes were flitting fast around the room the darkness drowning you.

Nat was by your side carefully she pried your hands from the blanket replacing them with her own hands. She squeezed them to try and draw you back. Nat looked into your eyes, her mouth was moving but you heard no words. Nat’s breathing was exaggerated and subconsciously you began to mimic it.

“Good thats good. Your doing so well y/n.” She said and you nodded tears still streaming down your face. “Fri, lights at 20%” then the lights began to slowly become brighter. You flinched and nat went back to comforting you. Neither of you had noticed Wanda standing in the doorway. After a few moments you threw yourself at nat. She stiffened not expecting it before relaxing and wrapping her arms around you. You sniffled and buried your teary face in her chest.

“Shh shh shhh” nat said rubbing her hand up and down your back softly. Nat looked up for the first time nodding to Wanda. Wanda nodded back mouthing “is she ok?” Nat nodded mouthing back.

“Nightmare.” Wanda nodded again and came and sat beside nat. Wanda began drawing shapes on your thigh. Soon small snores came from Nat’s lap as the two realised you were asleep.

“Should we move her to the bed?” Wanda asked.

“Its more comfortable than the floor. But for some reason she was sleeping on the floor when i came in.” Nat frowned.

“Understandable i did the same when I first came here. Its more like a cell. Shes more used to it than the bed.” Wanda explained. Carefully nat shifted to stand with you in her arms. Sleepily you clung to her. Wanda chuckled.

“Need any help?”

“No. But i think i am going to stay here tonight in case she has another nightmare. Can you watch her while i get changed? Ill only be a minute.” Nat said, carefully placing you on the bed.

“Sure no problem.” Wanda said watching you start wriggling on the bed. Wanda sat down rubbing a hand on your back you sought her out and snuggled into her leg and went still once more aside from the steady rise and fall for your chest.

“Thanks Wanda.” Nat said. She left quickly and changed. Returning to find Wanda asleep with you curled into her side. Nat chuckled quietly slipping out and unplugging Wanda’s night light from her room and plugging it in into your room instead. She pull the sheets over the three of you and went to sleep. You slept the rest of the night. Waking in the cold darkness had been a bit too much like your cell and it had been what triggered the panic attack after the nightmare you had because it was like you were still there.

The next morning you woke to the feeling of arms around you. You stiffened before last night came back to you. You groaned softly and opened your eyes. Nat looked down at you from where she sat against the headboard of the bed reading.

“Morning sleepy head.” She whispered and grinned down at you. It must be Wanda’s arms around your midsection then you thought to yourself.

“Morning.” You said, morning voice quiet gravelly with the absence of moisture.

You noticed the soft red glow from the table by Nat’s side of the bed.

“Um. Nat?” You whispered.

“Yes y/n?” She said looking up again from the book tucked between her knees.

“You didn’t need to bring in a night light.” You blushed unsure how she knew about what you felt last night.

“Oh. Its Wanda’s.” Nat said and you seemed to deflate. “Why? Do you want one?” Nat said softly. You merely swallowed and her gaze softened more. “There’s nothing wrong with it y/n.”

“Its just… last night after i woke i couldn’t see and i felt like… like… I was back there.” You said. Wandas arms seemed to tighten around you.

“Thank you for telling me y/n I’ll be sure to order anther one today. Do you have a colour your prefer?” She asked placing in a bookmark to the spine of her book.

“Um not really. Just not yellow or orange. Red is ok. But the alarm lights in the cell. The ones that came on during attacks or when the siren went on was, were yellow and orange. So, please not those colours if thats ok.”

“That’s perfectly fine thank you for telling me.” Nat said.

“I said the same thing.” Wanda said from behind you and you chuckled slightly. Wanda withdrew her arms seemingly unbothered by the previous contact. You missed it almost. No. You defiantly missed it. Years without friendly contact had left you severely touch starved. So much so that you craved even the most basic touch. Wanda seemed to sense your change in mood.

“Y/n?” She asked slowly.

“Yeah?” You swallowed.

“Did you share a cell in hydra.”

“No? Why?” You said and Wanda frowned.

“Not once?” She asked and nat seemed to catch on but you still hadn’t.

“No.” You shook your head propping yourself up on your elbows.

“Y/n do you know what touch starvation is?” Nat asked placing her book on the bedside.

“Vaguely?” You said.

“Well you should expect a lot more contact from the both of us from now on sweetie. And daily cuddles from whichever one of us you would prefer.” Nat said softly.

“Ok.” You said softly averting you gaze.

“Hey.” Nat said softly using her finger to guide your head up by the underside of your chin until you locked eyes. “Its ok. Your safe now.” She said and after the moment passed Wanda slipped out from behind you. She walked over to the bathroom.

“Hey y/n do you mind if i use your bathroom.”

“Not at all. Go ahead.” You said. And Wanda smiled slipping inside and shutting the door. After a couple of moments the door opened again and Wanda’s head popped out.

“Y/n you don’t have any toiletries?”

“Um yeah? Hydra didn’t really send us many care packages.” You said.

“Friday order everything off my list on Amazon called basic toiletries.”

“Yes Ms Maximoff right away.”

“We will not have you using Tony’s tiny Ironman branded hotel soaps.” She said and grinned before disappearing inside again and shutting the door once more.

“So? Which ones did you get?” Nat said with a grin.

“What do you mean?”

“Tony being tony has made his shampoo and conditioners a collectable set. There are twelve different pictures of tony in his suit. He made some harder to find than others. Don’t tell anyone but I’ve been trying to complete the set since i first came here.” She grinned and you laughed behind you hand.

“I don’t know. Its his suit but its not. Its blue kinda?” You said.

“Omg you have the pepper set.”

“The pepper set?”

“Pepper would only let tony do something so self centred if she was allowed to be on one of them in her suit.” Nat grinned. “I’ll defiantly be taking them because i don’t have that one yet. Tony being petty made it one of the less common ones just to spite pepper.” Nat giggled. Your jaw dropped.

“Pepper has a suit?”

“Yeah but she doesn’t fight or anything. Tony wont let her. Its more a security measure. Just in case she needs to be protected.” Nat nodded. A moment later Wanda emerged from the bathroom.

“Im going to go start on breakfast.” She said.

“Don’t bother.” Nat said “Clint’s been in the kitchen since 5am. He wanted to surprise us with a visit and rub it in Tony’s face that he can cook without burning it.”

Wanda giggled. “Well in that case.” She said slipping back under the sheets. “Its time to start y/n’s daily cuddles.” You blushed deeply as Wanda snuggled up to your side.

“Is this ok y/n?” Wanda asked.

“Y-yes.” You said and Wanda smiled.

“Good.” She draped an arm over your stomach as she buried her face in your side.

“Wandas very cuddly in the mornings.” Nat chuckled. “Normally I’m the one who gets the cuddles.” She said.

“Well feel free to join.” Wanda mumbled and nat smiled placing a hand on your leg.

MASTERLIST

#marvel #the avengers #wanda maximoff #natasha romanov #sicfic #wanda marvel #natasha romaoff #wandanat comfort #comfort #comfort fic #panic attack #flashback #reader #self insert #y/n #wanda x reader #nightmare #avengers #steve rogers #tony stark #Ironman #pepper potts #Bucky Barnes #clint Barton #Bruce banner #traumatised reader #fluff #slight angst #wandanat #whump

[binkszamsstuff]

Cindy Lou who

I know it’s past Christmas but life got in the way of me editing this fic so pretend it’s Christmas Day still okay? Sorry 🩵❄️🎅 merry Christmas and happy holidays! I’ll see you in the new year!

Warnings:angst, kissing, Bucky and reader are idiots this fic is safe for work but I’m putting this ⬇️ here because my blog is strictly no minors! 🔞

“Wow plum look at you go!” Bucky laughed as you almost hit a rail skating too fast to come to an easy stop.

Just as you got your balance back and stopped laughing at your clumsyness you looked up to see Bucky on his phone again. Lately, for the past two months, bucky has been possessive of his phone and always on it. Smiling at it too. It made you uneasy, Bucky had had plenty of girlfriends in the past but he was always present when hanging out with you. You had lightly asked him last week if he was seeing anyone, he didn't hear you the first time because he was on his phone.

“W-whatcha’ you say plum?”

“I asked if you were seeing anyone, you’re constantly on your phone” you repeated

“No, what? no! why would you think that? You’re my best friend you know i wouldn't hide anything like that from you” james spoke nonchalantly, he patted your head like a child right before he went back to smiling at his phone and texting.

It worried you. This year after ice skating you and him were gonna go get dinner (this usually isn’t a part of your tradition) you wanted to admit your feelings for him tonight but his recent behavior had you second guessing, for one he was always on his phone texting and he sure as hell doesn't look like a giddy school girl from texting sam or steve, and secondly when you asked him if he wanted to go to dinner afterward he was suspiciously happy. He said that it was great that you asked actually because he could “kill two birds with one stone” When you asked him what he meant he brushed you off and now he’s saying he has a surprise.

You had a feeling that he was seeing a girl and you hoped and prayed that you were wrong but the way he was acting proved you right, but you tried to take his word for it because he was Bucky your best friend and he would never lie to you. Right?

Wrong. As you walked into the small restaurant bucky’s smile grew 10 times wider, he waved to a blonde girl sitting at a four-person table. He walked over to her you followed a desperate feeling coming over you where you wished this wasn't what you thought it was. ‘No not tonight! the night I was going to confess my undying love for you no. bucky why?! Why do you have to be a stupid man?’ you thought.

She stood out of her seat he put his hand on her lower waist, lower than a friend would. She pecked his lips. You noticed everything he did or didn't do, you watched as your personal hell ripped itself into the small restaurant.

“y/n this is Polly, my girlfriend,” Bucky said him and her still standing in front of you. You wanted to cry and run away, she was perfect the opposite of everything that made you. You stared in shock.

“Uh um, h-hi im y/n” you swallowed thickly after speaking. You hated yourself you should have listened to your gut.

Bucky looked at you confused, he didn't expect your reaction to be so flat. He thought you would be so happy but now you looked pale and uncomfortable.

“It's too nice to meet you y/n I've heard so much about you” Oh god she was nice too!

The three of you sat, you wanted to puke.

“I thought you weren't seeing anyone bucky?” you asked shakily

“Well, bucky and I wanted to keep it a secret. We just wanted to live in our little bubble for longer ya know” she answered for him

“How long have you two been together?” you asked, anger creeping in towards yourself and Bucky. Yourself forever thinking Bucky could love and him for lying.

“Two and a half months” she answered again. you abruptly pushed your chair out from under the table you hadn't even taken off your coat but you felt cold like you were dying in the North Pole. You grabbed your coat in a haste. Bucky's confused eyes follow you.

“Hey! Hey y/n what are you doing?” he asked as you walked towards the exit you didn't respond. You felt humiliated and heartbroken. ‘God the man I've loved like a fool for seven years! How could I be so stupid!’ you though to yourself

“y/n get back here! Whats wrong with you?!” Bucky yelled after you while he tried to catch up with you as you walked down the street. Finally, he did, he grabbed your arm yanking you around to face him.

“What the hells matter with you?!” he said angry now too.

“I have to leave! I-i cant be friends with you anymore!” you screamed

Bucky's face dropped “Wh-what why?” he said confused and sad.

“B-because I-I just can’t okay!”

“Bullshit tell me. Now!” he demanded

“I-I’m in love with you okay!?”

“What!”

“I invited you to dinner tonight because i wanted to confess my feeling an- it doesn’t matter anymore okay. You have a girlfriend an-and she seems so lovely and im sorry that i made her uncomfortable i-i need to leave.” you said

“How long?” his tone stoic and hard, he wouldn’t let you go

“Since high school b-but i didnt realize what my feelings for you were until this past summer when we went on our trip to the ocean” you whispered ashamed.

“I-i dont know what to say” you broke his hold walking away as fast as you could. Tears finally falling. He didn’t need to say anything because you already knew he didn’t hold the same feelings you did for him.

“Wait wait y/n” you were gone.

December 21st

You got on a flight back home for the holidays usually you would take this flight home with bucky but you couldnt face him. He called and texted you all night, but the pain and embarrassment was to much.

The flight was horrible and your mom picking you up from the airport was spent listening to her cheer on and on about how bucky had a new girlfriend. Your familes were very close.

You wanted to the ground to suck you under itself.

Sitting in your mom’s livling room while your family and buckys talked and laughed was awful. You could feel his sorrowful looks on your skin and thats what really ate you alive. After some point of faking smiles you went up to you old bedroom. It was just like you left it last year and before you left to explore the world with bucky. The laughs you and him had in your old room made you tear up. When you used to get sad or when his parents fought he would climb in your window in the middle of the night. You two would watch movies, cuddle one another whichever one of you who needed the comfort. Just two kids trying to find peace in the world they share with everyone but also their own. the two of you cheering eachother up. As you looked back you scoffed towards yourself for being so stupid because how could you not tell you were selfishly in love him? Holding him while he cried or when he was angry, cuddling while watching movies or playing bored games in secret so your parents wouldn’t find out. The shorting pain in your chest when he would introduce you to one of his new girlfriends was not normal friend behavior.

Then tears fell as you sat on your bed holding a pillow to your chest. You hated that you ruined your friendship, you hated yourself for thinking bucky, the play boy who got women who looked like models could ever love you back. You beat yourself up for not shutting up and sitting through that stupid dinner and at least being ale to keep him in some way even if its just as a friend it would be better than nothing.

Just as yout thoughts of self hatred were stacking up bucky walked in.

“What are you doing in here?” you asked trying to swipe you tears away before he could see them

He sat at the foot of your bed looking at you. “Hey hey, plum,” he reached forward bringing your hands into his “you never have to hide from me”

“I-im so so sorry bucky. You must hate me” you cried

“How could i hate the girl im in love with?” he brought his hand to cup your wet cheek lifting up your face so your eyes could meet his.

“ no no” you shook your head refusing to believe him. 

“Ive been hiding my feelings for a lot longer then you plum” he chuckled sadly. “i ruined the dinner you planned it was stupid of me to surprise you with me having a girlfriend. Every girl ive ever been with as always been me trying to distract myself from not being able to be with you. I thought i wouldnt have a chance with you in a million years, i thought having you as a friend was all i was going to get and thats better then not having you at all so i never told you and last night was was the best night and the worst night of my life because i found out that you loved me and i hurt you. Last night i broke up with polly. I only want you plum, i love you too”

You pulled bucky into a kiss, it was soft, new, it held every word the two of you have ever wanted to say to each other but thought you couldnt. It was love.

“I love you bucky”

“I love you too plum” bucky smiled pulling you back into a kiss.

#bucky barnes #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshots #marvel #james bucky barnes #friends to lovers #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky fanfiction #bucky fanfic #beefy bucky #bucky barnes fluff #christmas #Spotify

[thisnevermeantnothingtoyou]

Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess first listen though!!

Femininomenon: I am not 100% sure but i think that femininomenon, got a new mix (the music video is deleted/unlisted now, plus a few weeks back i listened to the music video and the track on apple music side by side and the one on apple music was pretty clearly different), it has more oomph now, but it still retains the charm of the original. as always I love this song!

Red Wine Supernova: I love this song to death, its so fun the backing vocals are muah muah muah "put her canine teeth in the side of my neck!!" the final "i don't care that you're a stoner" is just muah, beautiful delivery, loves it!

After Midnight: YES SOFT POP!!!!! aughhhhh the delivery on all the lyrics is beautifull, chappell said "chaos bisexual anthem" and i LOVE it!!!! when the tracklist was released i was a slight bit miffed that so many of the tracks were previously released, but hearing the quality of what was kept for the album i am less pressed.

Coffee: live cassie reaction

im fine, im fine, my heart hurts, but im fine. this song is. wow, makes me hurt, i love it "I'll meet you for coffee, Cause if we have wine, You'll say that you're sorry, I know that's a lie" oh god and the final chorus, oh my heart cant take this.

Casual: I love this song, but hearing it after coffee, just makes it so much MORE, like coffee is the aftermath of the relationship, but causal is what the relationship WAS, and GOD IT HURTS, still a bop tho, the ending few lines always get me, like i will yell the bride but i SOB the last few verses "I fucked you in the bathroom when we went to dinner, Your parents at the table, you wonder why I'm bitter, Bragging to your friends I get off when you hit it, I hate to tell the truth but I'm sorry dude you didn't, I hate that I let this drag on so long, now I hate myself, I hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell" but my heart

Ultra Graphic Super Modern Girl: OH MY GOD YESSSSSS "fugly jeans!!" i though that would be the bridge, but it being the opening is SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!! OH MY GOD, this is how chappell charts, if this doesn't crack top 50 im rioting!!!!!!!

HOT TO GO!: I LOVE this song so much, for months before its release i'd listen to love recordings of it, and it is so infectious, chappell you are a genius!! this song makes ME want to be a cheerleader in a mid 2010s chick flick with heavy homoerotic undertones.

My Kink Is Karma: This song is for girls who watched a few too many "shipname yandere edits" in middle school, its just so good, the music video is so fun.

Picture You: yee haw??? YEE HAW???? oh those strings??? hellOOOOO??? This song is for girls who think too much about men who do not think about them, and i respect that because i am one of those girls.

Kaleidoscope: this song makes me cry so much, i can't really write anything about it i love it but i will cry if i think to much about it.

Pink Pony Club: What can i say about this song that hasn't been said before, it is amazing, i love every second, I especially love the bridge, especially the last line "i can hear your southern drawl a thousand miles away saying-" leading into the more striped down start of the last chorus. muah muah muah amazing!!!

Naked in Manhattan: the fact that Chappell had never kissed a girl when she wrote this, is just muah 10/10 lmao, seriously i love this so much. "wont you fuckin touch me?? i just want to touch you!!"

California: I love this song so fucking much, seriously its so good, it makes me happy, its just muah so good, i love how its depressing. But like yeah, i have never signed to a label at 17 and moved across country just be be dropped from my label and move back to my small town and work at a drive though while effectively looking at my dreams and hopes in the rearview mirror. but like i have felt like my failures are affecting my parents more then me, so.....

Guilty Pleasure: okay a slow one, i'm liking this resurgence of pop records ending on an introspective slow note. NOPE NOT A SLOW SONG WHAT HUH what just happened??? "I want this like a cigarette, lets drag this out and never quit" OH MY GOD IS THAT COWBELL??? wait no its electronic, this is so fucking fun!!! I love me a good 80s inspired bop about sapphic lust!!

Conclusion, this Album is amazing, and i really hope Chappell receives the accolades that she rightfully deserves for this piece of pure pop perfection, it is amazing, and I know exactly why Dan Nigro started an entire imprint for Chappell, seriously, this is an amazing project, and it slots so nicely into Dan's catalogue of amazingly produced albums. I won't be able to make it to chappels naked in north america tour stops near me, so I am now waiting patiently to see if i get off the waitlist for guts tour tickets so I can see her open for Liv (I really hope her and Chappell sing lacy together for the dates where chappell is opening)

anyways right now my rankings of the new tracks are

ultra graphic super modern girl

after midnight

guilty pleaure

coffee

picture you

(im just not in my sad song era, mkay)

#chappell roan #the rise and fall of a midwest princess

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 10 Transmission (Kwami’s Choice Part 1)

(Spoilers below)

-Okay so Marinette is hella depressed. I think this is the morning after Elation

-Wow she sounds so done

-Honestly summed up Adrien never started, Luka couldnt have started, and Chat noir shouldnt have started.

-Girl quoted her theme song and dissed herself. Damn

-And before I see posts saying she shouldnt be so focused on her love life... She is 13 f*** off

-Alya’s message was ignored by Marinette because she really in the dumps. And tikki saw the second call from Adrien and was like “Yea... she wouldnt want that call right now”

-EVEN THE VOICE MAIL IS DEPRESSED!

-Well Bustier is really showing the baby bump now

-Nino helping alya wing woman. Now thats cute

-Adrien blames himself specifically chat noir for Marinette feeling bad. And Plagg is like “Yea pretty much”

-Adrien realizing the consequences of his actions

-She took down all the photos of adrien. Not to be that guy, but if the is was about all her failed love life, luka’s photos would be removed to. Just saying

-Adrien really going up there to try and cheer her up. Boy knows what she is going through (and is mainly at fault for it)

-Look this angst is absolutely delicious and I am eating it up...

-How can they not hear the kwami. Plagg literally yelled

-Marinette was about to tell him... but then the trashcan

-I mean... we know he has seen the photos but seeing them in the trash... baby boy no

-Adrien just confessed! Damn! That is an angry yet touching confession. Boy is pissed the girl he loves is hating on herself. Dude... I can relate. (Ah memories of teen angst)

-She turned him down. Ouch.

______________________________________________________________

-oh look its zoe. After all the angst she is ... certainly a person to see

-Did they seriously throw a party without them even there?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

-Im sorry but no. I do not need to see this right now.

-Wow... Alya your brain cells are like negative right now. You should PROBABLY check before you think a party is a good idea.

-Zoe being the only one with a brain cell right now. The rest of the class I get... they sort of have horde mentality when the plot is involved.

-And Nora be calling. I wonder why

__________________________________________________________________

-And now just rubbing salt in the wounds

-Boy be depressed.

-And now its monarch. Because only when he can exploit his son does he actually care

-Wait... oh he didnt. Well it isnt the first time he didnt do it. He only tries to akumatize adrien when he knows he is chat noir. So I guess not as big of a prick as you could have been Gabe

-Plagg is like “My boy is destroying himself over this. Fu was wrong to do this”

-Plagg suggesting they find new holders for themselves to save them.

_____________________________________________________________________

-Zoe continuing to show that she is the only one with a braincell.

-286 days since adrien came to school?

-Wait a f***ing minute. IT HASNT BEEN A YEAR? ITS ONLY BEEN 9 MONTHS. WHAT THE S*** ASTRUC

-Adrien is depressed and his mom is checking up on him. (I mean Nathalie)

-And now they realize that their party was a dumb idea

-Nathalie sees Gabriel and is already in Mama Bear mode

-Gabriel... what are you planning?

-Did he just come in here to give him an alliance ring?

-Lila heart ache rating? Gabriel... what the s***

-YOU PIECE HUMAN FECAL MATTER! THIS WAS ALL TO GIVE HIM AN ALLIANCE RING AND MAKE HIM A DEADLIER AKUMA. YOU INSUFFERABLE SAKE OF SHIT! I AM GLAD YOU ARE DYING AND I HOPE EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE EXISTS AS PURE AGONY FROM THE CATACLYSM.

-The Kwami! The kwami took back the miraculous. I mean i knew they would cause spoilers but... damn. This hurt more than expected

-That mother f***er. YOU WOULD AKUMATIZE YOUR OWN SON!?

-Adrien realizes he has a chance now. Boy is going to try! And it ruined his father’s plans

-But now Marinette and Adrien arent feeling the crushing burden of their hero lives.

-Like I feel like they would still be depressed for a bit longer... But that is just me

-Guy is wearing 5 rings at once? Like why that many?

-He realized he forgot to give her the homework. And sees she is in better spirits. A good sign

-She cant say it. She is trying to say she loves him. But she struggling. I think it might be a mental block or something at this point

-The parents went to go check and they both realized what was happening and Immediately went back down. Now if it were me. That door stays open. I dont care if the boy is literal sunshine. No closed doors when boys are over. But enough about parenting. Back to the adorablw

-Okay the hand thing was cute. Also... was the music for this show ALWAYS this on point?

-THEY CANON! THEY KNOW! BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE!!!!

-Party turned back into a strategy meeting

-Wait.... Is his name Boubi. What did Nora do?

-OMG THATS HILARIOUS!

-Tikki and Plagg shopping for holders

-DAMN IT! NOW WE WILL NEVER GET CAT NINO! I HATE THIS

-Okay while I am not crazy about Nino getting shafted. I do find it funny that Plagg sees a blond yell at people and is like “Yep, thats my next holder”

-HE JUST THREW THE RING AT HER!

-look at him!

-At least Tikki talked to alya first.

-Though in hindsight, Tikki is being  dumb. Marinette Knows that Alya was Scarabella. So she would know Alya was Ladybug. Would that be smart?

-Okay Alya, i will forgive your stupidity earlier in the episode

-Wait... is he giant now?!

-So he has rocket fists

-Okay so... yea I am still not sold on Cat!Zou’s look. I hate the lips stick. And How come SHE can have yellow eyes but Ladynoir couldnt have blue?

-Man, Imagine getting to be new heroes and your first bad guy has 5 miraculous powers plus his own giant size and rocket fists

-Wait... Did he resist CATACLYSM?! OHHHHH... He got the bull miraculous too

-Now he can multipy!

-Im confused... whats the plan?

-Ah yes, the firemen are the real heroes

-OH I GET IT. MAKE HIM BLIND SO HE BRINGS THE SHIELD DOWN. Clever

-Well played

-Wait... why does this guy look like a mix of Blingbling boy and Mr.T?

-Adrien and Marinette had a cute moment

-Oh no... Zoe and Alya had their Alliances on them. Well s***

______________________________________________________________________

so for part one.

I will say I enjoyed every scene involving Marinette and Adrien in it. It was precious and now they canon!.

Outside of that it was... well mid.

Gabriel proved he deserves death

Alya’s mental capacity was questioned.

Zoe’s personality seems to be Only braincell in existence

And the cliff hanger was kind of expected but not in a bad way.

That being said

6.5/10

More pros then cons but it is probably the episode I had the least enjoyment of outside of the Adrinette

#gale reviews #ml spoilers #ml transmission #ml transmission spoilers #adrinette #AHHHHHHHH

[pollstuck]

Alright let's get back on track.

There we go.

AG: What is it now! EB: fuck.

?CG AT ?:?? opened memo on board FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY.

CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CTG: what CURRENT ectoBiologist [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo. CEB: ok, i am here. CEB: oh, hi insufferable! CTG: hey CEB: what is going on in here? CTG: some kinda asshole rumpus looks like ?CG: EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP, I HATE YOU BOTH, ETC. ETC. ETC. ?CG: NOW THAT THE PLEASANTRIES ARE OUT OF THE WAY, THERE IS IMPORTANT BUSINESS TO DISCUSS. ?CG: THIS MEMO IS NOT ABOUT WHICH GUY CAN MANAGE TO BE THE HEFTIEST SACK OF SHAME GLOBES TO ONE ANOTHER. ?CG: IT IS NOT ABOUT WHICH ONE OF US WILL MOST DECISIVELY ESCORT THE OTHERS "TO SCHOOL", WHERE THEY WILL RECEIVE A VAST HELPING OF "OH SNAP" RAMMED DOWN THEIR INSATIABLE IGNORANCE SHAFTS. ?CG: THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION WHICH I BELIEVE NEEDS TO TAKE PLACE HERE AND NOW, SO YOU WILL BOTH SHAPE YOUR SHIT UP AND PERHAPS BEGIN TO APPROXIMATE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T EXCRUCIATINGLY RETARDED. CTG: ok later windbag ?CG: PRICK FUCK OFF ?CG: AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU SANCTIMONIOUS BASTARD. CEB: yeah, insufferable, don't go! CEB: i think we should listen to what he has to say. ?CG: YES, LISTEN TO YOUR LEADER INSUFFERABLE. ?CG: AS DUMB AS POOPLORD IS, HE IS SMARTER THAN YOU AND IS THE RIGHTFUL SUPERIOR AMONG YOUR DREARY LITTLE PARTY. ?CG: BUT I AM THE SUPERIOR OF BOTH OF YOU AND WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO BE DOING IS LISTENING TO ME. ?CG: SO INSUFFERABLE, TRY TO KEEP ALL THOSE SICK FIRES CHECKED AND THOSE STOIC LIPS PURSED FOR A GOD DAMNED SECOND ?CG: AND TAKE THIS SIMPLE BIT OF HATEFRIENDLY ADVICE: ?CG: STOP HITTING ON BLART IMMEDIATELY, IT'S FUCKING EMBARRASSING TO WATCH. CTG: nah CEB: haha, insufferable you're hitting on blart? really??

CTG: no CTG: but whatever he thinks im doing im not going to stop CTG: the guys jealous obviously he thinks his girlfriend has a thing for me and you know what hes probably right CTG: but what else is new just another lady from outer space mackin on me whatever chance she gets ?CG: OH, HA HA! IF SMUG WAS A MOTORCYCLE, IT JUST JUMPED OVER A FUCKING CANYON. ?CG: THE CROWD GOES WILD WITH DISMAY, AND THEN COMMITS MASS SUICIDE. CEB: crab, is blart really your girlfriend? ?CG: GUESS WHAT THIS CONVERSATION IS ABOUT! NOT THAT PARTICULAR TOPIC. ?CG: ALSO GUESS WHOSE BUSINESS THAT STILL ISN'T, FUCKING YOURS, THAT'S RIGHT. CTG: pretty sure she is CTG: or he thinks she is or something CTG: made it pretty obvious when he started ranting at me months ago CTG: back when i suspected these trolls were full of shit CTG: but now look how far weve come CTG: theres not any doubt left about that at all ?CG: EVEN IF THERE WAS ANYTHING GOING ON, WHICH THERE DEFINITELY [OOPS TIME TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AGAIN, ASSHOLE!] ?CG: OUR ROMANCE IS MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THAN THE JOKE THAT PASSES FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE CONCEPT. ?CG: YOU ONLY HAVE ONE QUADRANT! THAT'S JUST ABSURD. CTG: right CTG: sounds like its time to get a clue she is over you dude CEB: what is so different about your romance? CEB: what's a quadrant? how many do you have? CTG: zoosmell god dammit stop embarrassing us CTG: first of all weve got to be on record here as not giving a shit about that CTG: second obviously theres gonna be 4 quadrants come on

?CG: ZOOSMELL, I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT YOU BEING THE SMART ONE. ?CG: INSUFFERABLE IS NOW THE LEADER, EVEN THOUGH HE'S A SMUG SHITSTAIN WITH SHADES AND A POKER FACE. ?CG: IF THERE WERE FIVE, THEY'D BE CALLED QUINTDRANTS, GET IT??? CEB: wow, okay! CEB: who cares, jeeeeeeeez. ?CG: YES, EXACTLY. WHO CARES? ?CG: AS FASCINATING AS A LECTURE ON ALL THAT WOULD BE, IT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. ?CG: WHICH BRINGS ME TO A RELATED POINT OF BUSINESS. ?CG: ZOOSMELL, DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE HOW MANY E'S YOU JUST TYPED THERE. ?CG: THAT'S GOT TO STOP TOO. CEB: what does? ?CG: STOP TALKING TO VRISKA. I'M FUCKING SERIOUS. CEB: what! CEB: no way. vriska's cool, i'll talk to her all i want! ?CG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ?CG: YOU JACKASSES HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELVES INTO. ?CG: THEY'RE DANGEROUS, AND YOU'RE JUST BLUNDERING RIGHT INTO THEIR HYPERCOMPETITIVE MINDFUCK MURDER-THICKET. ?CG: THESE PSYCHO GIRLS HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN EACH OF YOU KILLED AT LEAST ONCE TO MY KNOWLEDGE. CEB: well, yeah... CEB: but blart killed me in an alternate timeline, so that isn't too bad i guess. CEB: plus, i am pretty sure that she is sorry about it. ?CG: OH GOD, YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT? ?CG: AND YOU'RE STILL GETTING UP TO THESE ANTICS ?CG: YOU ARE BOTH FUCKING HOPELESS, I GIVE UP. CTG: k then bye ?CG: SHUT YOUR SQUAWK GAPER AND STAY PUT. ?CG: I'M NOT DONE. CTG: sounds like a loudmouth inferiority thing going on here to me CTG: like you dont want to acknowledge that your troll ladies find a couple of human dudes irresistible ?CG: YOU DON'T GET IT. ?CG: I DO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT AS MUCH AS IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY VARIOUS BITS OF ALIEN PHYSIOLOGY YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF, THESE GIRLS ARE CLEARLY FLIRTING WITH BOTH OF YOU PRETTY HARD. ?CG: THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE SWEPT YOU BOTH INTO THEIR SICK ASSASSINATION GAMES IS SADLY WHAT MAKES THIS OBVIOUS. ?CG: THAT'S WHAT THEY DO. CEB: wait... CEB: are you saying that vriska is interested in me? CEB: like, romantically? ?CG: POOPLORD JUST EARNED A FEW BRAIN POINTS! ?CG: HE HAS REACHED A NEW RUNG ON HIS ECHELADDER, "EASILY OUTFOXED BY SIMPLE UTENSILS" ?CG: "BUCKAROO" ?CG: OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT CTG: smooth CEB: oh man. CEB: uh... ?CG: YES LET'S ALL HAVE A GREAT BIG OH MAN OVER THAT ?CG: AND THEN FUCKING CUT THE HORSESHIT FOREVER. SOUND GOOD?

CEB: i'm not sure what to think about this. CEB: insufferable, what do you think i should do? CTG: i dunno CTG: do you like her CEB: well, like i said, i thought she was pretty cool... CEB: kinda bossy! but also pretty friendly. CTG: yeah ok CTG: but i mean CTG: anything more than that CTG: like CTG: if earth wasnt destroyed and she werent in some other universe on a planet full of unspeakable frothing dipshits CTG: and she was on earth visiting your town or something CTG: would you want to ask her to go see one of your dumbass movies CTG: like the new maconnohey jam where he smirks and like all but deliberately draws the audiences ire like a goddamn magnetron CEB: mcconaughey!!!!!!!! CEB: um, wow, i don't know. CEB: i mean, yeah, sure it would be fun to do something like that with her, i think. CEB: but... CEB: beyond that, it's a little confusing! CEB: i don't think i have ever actually liked a girl before in that way, so i am not really sure what i am supposed to feel or do... ?CG: HOLY FUCK WHAT AM I EVEN READING HERE????? CTG: doesnt concern you dude ?CG: OK ZOOSMELL, ARE YOUR FEELINGS QUITE SORTED OUT YET? ?CG: ARE YOU QUITE DONE SLOGGING THROUGH THE EMOTIONAL MORASS OF ADOLESCENCE, EMERGING FROM THE SLUDGE IN YOUR JUNIOR ECTOBIOLOGY WADERS? ?CG: ARE WE FEELING JUST A LITTLE BIT WISER? DID WE GROW TODAY? THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL! ?CG: YOU WOULD THINK WARNING YOU GUYS THAT FRATERNIZING WITH THESE FEMALES IS PUTTING YOUR LIVES IN DANGER WOULD BE ENOUGH. ?CG: REALLY, DANGER YOU SAY? OH GOODNESS, WE NEARLY MADE A HUGE MISTAKE! WHY THANK YOU, MR. TROLL, HOW GRACIOUS OF YOU TO ALERT US TO OUR FOOLISHNESS. CTG: i dunno man doesnt sound like you really got our interests in mind here CTG: you just sound kinda bitter CTG: did one of the human ladies reject you ?CG: OF COURSE NOT. CTG: how did it go did you stand in a quadrant like you were playing four square CTG: holding a bucket full of flowers or slime or whatever and farmstink was like no thanks bro CTG: is that how it went down ?CG: YES, YOU FIGURED IT OUT! YOU ARE A SAVANT OF XENOBIOLOGY INSUFFERABLE AND I SALUTE YOU WITH ONE OF MY MANY INTERGALACTIC SPACE TENDRILS ?CG: (THAT'S FAKE, I MADE THAT UP TO FUCK WITH YOU) CTG: or maybe it was a guy who rejected you ?CG: FUCK OFF. CTG: haha wow bingo CTG: see how i look right now thats a poker face might want to take some notes

?CG: I SEE NOTHING BUT A COWARD BEHIND DARK EYEWEAR CLEARLY DESIGNED FOR WOMEN AND A PAIR OF IMPUDENT LIPS PURSED SO TIGHT IT'LL SOUND LIKE AIR SQUEALING OUT OF A BALLOON WHEN I PUNCH YOU IN THE GUT. CTG: oh god stop talking about my lips thats the second time CTG: ok youre clearly gay and youve probably got some issues about it dude CTG: zoosmell just a heads up in the future i think youre gonna spurn one of his awkward advances CEB: uh oh! ?CG: ZOOSMELL DON'T LISTEN TO THIS FUCKER, HE'S THE WORST GUY AT GIVING ADVICE I'VE EVER SEEN. CEB: yeah, i dunno insufferable, i have talked to crab a lot and i really don't think he has a thing for me. ?CG: EXACTLY. ZOOSMELL ONCE AGAIN IS FLYING HIGH AS SMARTEST HUMAN. ?CG: AND ZOOSMELL, PURELY HYPOTHETICALLY, IF ONE OF US IN THE FUTURE DOES MAKE SOME SORT OF SOLICITATION YOU DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND... ?CG: BECAUSE OF PERHAPS SOME CULTURAL DIFFERENCES ?CG: I MEAN NO ONE IN PARTICULAR HERE ?CG: MAYBE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT PERSON MIGHT NOT BE THINKING TOO CLEARLY AT THAT MOMENT CEB: uh... ?CG: IT MIGHT BE THE CASE THAT THIS PERSON HAS GOTTEN TOO WRAPPED UP IN A SORT OF CALIGINOUS IDEAL ?CG: AND GET CARRIED AWAY, POSSIBLY SO MUCH SO THEY WERE BLIND TO HOW COMPLETELY FUCKED UP AND WEIRD IT WOULD BE TO PURSUE ANYTHING LIKE THAT WITH ANOTHER SPECIES ?CG: ESPECIALLY ONE THAT DIDN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF A CALIGINIOUS RELATIONSHIP CTG: what CTG: the fuck CTG: are you talking about ?CG: BUT I'M NOT THAT PERSON. I HAVE A FIRM GRASP ON HOW DERANGED AND UNNATURAL ANY SORT OF INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIP WOULD BE, WHETHER CALIGINOUS OR CONCUPISCENT. ?CG: SO I ASK ?CG: NO I'M FUCKING BEGGING YOU BOTH ?CG: TO QUIT CHATTING UP THESE SHITHIVE BROADS AND LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE. CTG: thats obviously not gonna happen ?CG: FUCK. ?CG: LOOK. ?CG: ALRIGHT I ADMIT THIS ISN'T PURELY MAGNANIMOUS CONCERN FOR YOUR SAFETY HERE. ?CG: WE'RE ALL SORT OF COOKING UP A PLAN RIGHT NOW. ?CG: MY RIGHT NOW. ?CG: WHICH IF SUCCESSFUL, MAY, AND I DO STRESS MAY, END UP WITH ALL OF US MEETING FACE TO FACE. ?CG: AND WHAT I'D LIKE TO AVOID IF AT ALL POSSIBLE ?CG: IS TO HAVE THIS RENDEZVOUS INSTANTLY DETERIORATE INTO A LOT OF REVOLTING TROLL/HUMAN SLOPPY MAKEOUTS. ?CG: THAT WOULD JUST RUIN IT FOR ME, OK? ?CG: REALLY THE ONLY SCENARIO THAT I AM SURE WOULD CAUSE ME TO REGRET SUCCESS. GOT IT?

CEB: er... CEB: do... CEB: you think that vriska is going to try to make out with me? ?CG: SHUT UP. ?CG: I'M NOT ANSWERING YOUR DUMB QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW MUCH SNOGGING YOU'RE IN FOR AND I'M NOT PLAYING INTERSPECIES MATCH MAKER HERE. ?CG: SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS? ?CG: I SHOULDN'T EVEN NEED TO BE SAYING THIS. ?CG: GOD DAMMIT, IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE ACTUAL HUMAN FEMALES NEARBY FOR ACTUAL BIOLOGICALLY VIABLE MATESPRITSHIPS! ?CG: DO I HAVE TO DRAW YOU A DIAGRAM??? CEB: flighty and farmstink? CEB: so, uh... CEB: you want us to like, date them? ?CG: WOULD IT REALLY FUCKING KILL YOU TO CONSIDER IT?????? ?CG: I MEAN GOD. WHAT DO YOU EVEN THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE IN THIS GAME? ?CG: YOU'RE CREATING YOUR OWN UNIVERSE TO GO LIVE IN. ?CG: AND JUST HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR SPECIES IS SUPPOSED TO REPOPULATE ITSELF??????????? IDIOTS. CTG: dude CTG: no CTG: just CTG: stop ?CG: OH OK, SO THE ALIEN HERE IS THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED WITH THE PROPAGATION OF YOUR SPECIES. ?CG: THAT MAKES A LOT OF FUCKING SENSE. WHY DON'T YOU WISE THE FUCK UP, COOLDOUCHE? CEB: i think he is right, i think we are all a little young to be thinking about that! ?CG: WELL NO SHIT, NOW YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY. ?CG: BUT WHAT ABOUT LATER? THINK ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE. ?CG: HOW DID HUMANITY GET AS FAR AS IT GOT BEING SO DUMB? CEB: um, also, CEB: we are kinda all related! sort of. through shared ghost slime genes. right? CEB: so, uh... ?CG: OH RIGHT, THE BIZARRE HUMAN ANATHEMA OF INCEST, I FORGOT. CTG: oh my fucking god CTG: please let this conversation not be taking place ?CG: OK WELL LET'S SAY THAT'S HYPOTHETICALLY A PROBLEM, EVEN THOUGH I'M RACKING MY BRAIN TO UNDERSTAND WHY IT WOULD BE. ?CG: I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO DRAW YOU A DIAGRAM, BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST THAT STUPID. ?CG: HERE ?CG: http://tinyurl.com/MATINGDIAGRAMFORMORONS CTG: ok youre by far the worst artist out of any of us CTG: and thats saying something ?CG: SHUT UP I DREW IT FAST ?CG: NOW

?CG: AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE, THERE ARE ONLY TWO SETS OF COMPATIBLE QUADRANTS HERE FOR LEGITIMATE CONCUPISCENT PAIRINGS. ?CG: INSUFFERABLE AND FLIGHTY ARE "RELATED" ?CG: FARMSTINK AND ZOOSMELL ARE "RELATED" ?CG: THAT ONLY LEAVES TWO PAIRS. ?CG: ONCE AGAIN, THE DECISIONS PERTAINING TO HUMAN ROMANCE REMAIN STUNNINGLY SIMPLE. ?CG: AND YET I STILL HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME. ?CG: NOW GO HASSLE YOUR FUTURE MATESPRITS AND LEAVE THE TROLL GIRLS ALONE. CTG: thx for the shipping grid bro imma drop everything and go have a baby with farmstink right now CTG: no peeking k CEB: wow, i have to marry flighty? CEB: uh... CEB: wow. ?CG: AND NOW THAT I HAVE SAVED YOUR ENTIRE WORTHLESS SPECIES WITH MY IMPECCABLE ROMANCE BROKERING SKILLS ?CG: I WILL BID YOU A BITTER FUCKING FAREWELL. ?CG: JEGUS I AM SO TIRED. CTG: you should go back to sleep CTG: it was so much cooler when you were asleep and i basically never had to listen to you ever ?CG: I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP CEB: why not? ?CG: BECAUSE I'M TOO TIRED TO EXPLAIN WHY IS WHY. ?CG: YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT LATER. ?CG: MEMO OVER. ?CG: GET OUTTA HERE. ?CG banned CEB from responding to memo. ?CG banned CTG from responding to memo. ?CG closed memo.

#homestuck #pollstuck #karkat vantas #john egbert #dave strider #vriska serket #ough this one was messy

[apollo-gate]

I tap on the keyboard just soo darn close.

In reality Im busy catching up with my bestie. Yes guilty.

I also want to help a friend with some character descriptions as I hate making a commitment and not doing it. (To my mysterious friend I apologize. I had a migraine.)

Anyways I'll do this below will be a few new characters that will be mentioned. So ask will be open for them. I'll make a separate character list of important characters and some minor ones later.

Why am I doing this well I just want to.

Also to the one who sent the ask about Daniella. You made me fracking blush. But I'll do it.

(So spoilers below sorta. It's just the name and just a sentence or two of what they are or do. But ask are welcome. But I will say this three are Ros. Not the poly/harm as they won't be shared till after the demo update.)

The update is mainly getting pushed back as I currently have a guest in my home (she is very important to me as she helped me come out and I did the same for her.) and I meeting my advisor at school about an issue I had with an exam. I don't like sharing but shit has happened and it's so damn close. Plus I sorta allow a person to read it all first before giving it to you all. So

Alright starting off

Atlas- Yes I've mentioned her and you get to meet her. She is a part of Vanessa's elite strike team and a teacher of dimensions and portals. She is tall and has long blonde hair. She always wears a visor that just covers her face. Just the front of it. She always has her sights on the Mc when they are in the room. Always has a candy bar on hand.

Atargatis or Attina- Is the crown princess to the Atlanteans. She is a half-breed. She has black hair and a few tattoos. Attina has light grey skin and scales like a mermaid. She has markings on her back as it deals with her Atlantean magic.

Vomox- Current king of Atlantis. Has ruled for over 3 thousand years. Has several children and is close friends with Noah and Vanessa. He is tall but he almost is never seen as angry. Doesn't wear a crown but a breastplate that symbolizes his title. Has a tendency to use a morning star.

Hecate- Naamhas daughter. She's also a vampire. Oh and hates your guts too.

Thea- Naamahs daughter. She's well a demon but you would never know unless she tells you. She is more accepting of her mother's obsession love for you.

Psyche (Not her real name.)- A villain that was hurt by a hero when she was a child. Lost the ability to speak. She has taken an interest in the nonpowered instructor(Mc).

So who is the chaotic dumbass looking at you Atlas. She can be an idiot sometimes. (She is a dumbass. Was reading over her scenes today and like wow.)

#I aplogize as Easter is sorta cazy #got the variables in #little update #Yes I've kept the chaotic one on the down low

[skiniibuniii]

probably never got fasting insomnia cuz i kept "recovering" before i reached the point im at rn. heres some shit abt me, my history of eds, and why i think and have been told i have EDNOS. added a read more thing so you dont have to read it if you dont want to.

wow someone likes me lmao jk but,,

when i was 9-10 i had to take one of those tests in school for BMI and i was the heaviest person there. all the kids compared bmis and i just stayed quiet when i was asked. so the very next day i did a week long fast without knowing what the fuck i was doing. i barely drank anything, fainted once and couldnt stand up without my legs giving out. yeahh my mom almost took me to the hospital, and i wanted that til my mom said id be poked with needles so i "recovered". off and on over those next few years, i tried to watch what i ate but didnt count cals (tbh cuz i didnt know how).

I started smoking weed around 11-12 and i started binging B A D. my stomach hurt constantly but i never stopped eating. to the point that my mom finally told me that i was eating too much cuz we didnt have the money for me to keep that up any longer than a few months. and my mom saying "youre eating too much", even though she was worried about me and i knew she was just worried, it totally triggered me again. still didnt know jack shit about eds. i tried to restrict and got into a fast-binge cycle for a couple months. "recovered" again.

tried to die right after i turned 13, got sent to a hospital for 2 months and thats when i learned about eds. started going to this LGBTQ club, met my bf and discovered my gender identity (didnt know abt trans people before that either, thought i was just really crazy), and started to learn about how to be safer. aand this is when it stopped being 100% about how i look, but now it was a 50/50 on looks and weight. got back in that fast-binge bull. got my first Tumblr page somewhere around this time too and was in LOVE loved my blog so much. got into ed tumblr for inspo but obvy that didnt last long. stayed on my main for a long while til (i think) i was abt to turn 16. "recovered".

about to be 14 years old, got back into my shit cuz i got pregnant and didnt know it and freaked out about how ugly i was, dropped to 130 cuz the morning sickness made it so easy to purge (i was and have not since been able to purge via vomit) and i barely ate anyway with cal counting, nausea, fasting, and chainsmoking. i did some drugs aside from smoking around this time and drank a fair amount too. found out i was pregnant, "recovered" AGAIN, stopped doing all that bad stuff and was tormented by my body for another 4-5 months. got up to 225lbs, apparently i gained 85lbs from month 5 to birth. popped out a baby, kid was healthy thank god, tried to breastfeed, yo-yoed between 200-225 for about 2 months, breastfeeding wasnt working and made me want to die with the gender dysphoria, switched to bottles, 2 months after that now we're back. didnt do crazy restriction but exercised like a madman. hated myself really bad. fast-binge you know the deal. bf force-fed me regularly. i fucking gave up. reached 175 before i bounced right back to 200.

now we're 16 its the first of june, gonna be 17 in 14 days. i havent been able to look in a mirror for any reason besides to do my makeup in several years. still 200lbs. havent worn anything that could remotely show how fat i am in years. out of nowhere i decided, "imma get back on my fucking shit. I REFUSE TO HATE MY BODY ANYMORE. I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME AN ADULT AND FUCKING HATE MYSELF LIKE THIS"

"hey, youre 17 now! happy birthday. i know your phone just broke, i bought you a computer! it was a great deal and they said it worked for games too! you said youve been wanting to play that java server, right?"

i remembered, tumblr is a thing! i loved my blog, maybe if i get back into that id be happier.

"ghost blog", gone. i cried quite a bit lmao, but lets start a new one!

and here we are. and i am not doing any fake recovery shit this time.

from what i know, EDNOS includes the off-and-on stuff and i was told by a couple people on my og blog that i dont have ana i have EDNOS.

boom thats my ed life story. and if thats kinda bad yall should hear my whole fucking life story. ive been thinking abt writing a book about it cuz it is actually fucking crazy.

[spatio-rift]

His feelings for the team run deeper than anyone else’s!

Kurofes: Imayoshi | Wakamatsu | Sakurai | Susa

Wakamatsus kurofes pages (2!! wow!) now fully translated and put together all nicely!! because i love him and he deserves it!! using alisayamins scans again for the pages above!

Below the cut is the transcription + some notes and comments!! Hope you enjoy it!!💝

The short-tempered, hot-blooded, aggressive center!!

PROFILE ●Height: 193cm ●Weight: 85kg ●Birthday: April 16 (aries) ●Blood type: A ●Motto: Where there is a will, there is a way ●Favorite food: Yakisoba ●Hobby: Cycling ●Special skill: Chugging milk (i really do love that its specifically milk. He could just be good at chugging drinks but it has to be milk) ●Best school subject: Geography ●Committee: Disciplinary committee -> if youre curious about what they do like i was, according to a quick search, their main tasks seem to be checking uniforms, belongings and tardy students; acting as security during school festivals by patrolling the grounds; organizing bicycles every morning (checking if theyre in the right spot for each grade and class); giving traffic safety instructions at the crosswalk next to the school; greet students in the morning like the student council... theyre generally asked to act as role models to the students or to substitute for homeroom teachers so apparently theyre not very popular ●Family: Father, mother, younger brother ●Not good at: Getting along with Aomine ●Special skill (basketball): High post -> spin move ●Type of girls he likes: Slightly airheaded girls -> i dont know if 'airhead' would be the exact word, but when i looked up the term online i found an article calling these people similar to the exact kind of people imayoshis profile says hes not good with, so im using the same word (i think its absolutely hilarious). its apparently more like, someone who looks smart and reliable but is actually quite clumsy in reality. People who often make mistakes without any bad intentions and despite their best efforts. A little careless. ●How he spends his time off: Cycling ●Why he started playing basketball: On a gut feeling ●Player he has his eye on: Kiyoshi Teppei

This center supports the team's offense and defense with his strong body! He's a player full of youthful vigor who wears his emotions on his face.

A center combining speed and power! He's a player who can boast of both height and a strong body! The combination of speed and power makes him a formidable opponent who not only provides a stable defense for his team, but is also quick on the counterattack—his scoring ability is not to be underestimated!

Wakamatsu Kousuke’s memorable line: During the first round of the Winter Cup, he takes possession of the ball with a unique shout in a rebound battle against Seirin's Kiyoshi! His burning fighting spirit shines through his words!!

Fans’ favorite characteristic: He tends to rush forward recklessly, yet his simple character fires up those watching him! Although he can't see eye to eye with Aomine, he still gives his all for the sake of bringing victory to the team.

His feelings for the team run deeper than anyone else's His love for his team is strong, and he always pays attention to those around him. He is set to become the new captain after the 3rd years' retirement.

Power that rivals Kagami's! His reaction speed and strength under the hoop are top-class.

He hates Aomine... He can't stand Aomine's selfish behavior, but he acknowledges his skill when it comes to basketball.

A word from Fujimaki-sensei! You could say I like him the best out of everyone in Touou. I hope he can get along with Aomine. -> his comment in wakamatsus character bible entry was also like 'i like that hes simple. ah, but he really is noisy.' i love that hes loved by fujimaki haha

KUROtter!! I love him!!! (Mx. M, Kanagawa Prefecture) Doseeei!! I love passionate characters! (Mx. K, Akita Prefecture)

#kuroko no basket #wakamatsu kousuke #knb #trucs #imayoshinobasuke #just like him his entry was pretty straightforward. 2 pages about how strong his body & hate for aomine are #its killing me that his memorable quote is his weirdo shout. never change i love you #still the part about loving the team more than anyone :') so true. i love him so much #also i wonder if he actually gets good grades in geography or if thats just the best of the worst #i also added some more tl notes to imayoshis page so... if ur curious...

[dearlyjun]

I’ll just have to take you to the next concert with me 🫶🏼wow was txt your first group? I’ve been a kpop stan since 2016 and let me tell you I’ve seen it all 😩 the drama the chaos everything! I go to the LA concerts (i get scared telling people that because of the LA concert Treatment 😬) I’ve said this before and I’ll say it over and over again people here in California don’t know how to drive at all…like how are you in a Tesla and a shit driver??

I am the same way!! Like sorry if you get offended but that’s just how it is with me…been told mh stubbornness will get me in trouble some day but here I am 23 turning 24 and still no trouble! Like SORRU you can’t handle me?? I’m also very extroverted especially in person online I am a bit scared to show my wild side but I’m very very extroverted lol

I will say this being from California I don’t not own any winter warm clothes hahaha I was wearing a shirt and shorts the other day with the fan on because it’s just not cold here and yesterday I woke up freezing my ass off like wdym it’s 38° for what??? I started turning the heater on in my office because there’s no way I can work properly in the cold! SNOW??? I want to experience snow (not me saying this when you said you hate it) the only time I’ve seen snow is in Big Bear 😩 I would say move to Cali but it’s too expensive here 🥲

dawwww stop because id be so down 🥲 actually, no! bts was my first group! and after that was newjeans, then txt and so on (multi stan vibes). I’ve actually known about kpop for quite a while, but it didn’t get me until I was older. if I was in high school liking kpop…..id get roasted to no end. as if I didn’t get made fun of enough for being a metalhead lollll.

irl and on the internet im very introverted until im comfy with you (lol proof here that i love to run my mouth) my mbti is infj!! even though i feel i should take the test again.

I say this with love but it’s so funny to see on the internet like the california girlies traveling to new york in the winter time 😭 like GIRL BRING A COAT! ah it’s definitely fun to experience. like if you can travel to it and then leave it….like driving in it is NOT fun. ah cali would be so fun and cool but…yeah expensive $$$ I would like to live in AZ or TX tbh or japan if we’re going BIG

#ash replies #angie ☆

[tyonfs]

okay my updates r gonna have to be split in like chronological order bc this is just too much for one ANYWAYS. let’s start with new york.

so as we know i used to live in new york and i have a couple childhood friends who live there. my one friend who’s a girl we were inseparable and at first i was scared to meet her when we went but oh boy do i DESPISE HER. she’s such a pick me and she likes to act so fucking different. her humor is like 2020 AND SHE DRESSES LIKE IT TOO.

one thing about me is i’m a family girl and for some reason my mom was like oh let’s take to the cemetery with us to see your grandparents and i’m like??? anyways when we went and we were there praying i noticed she kept looking around and trying not to laugh and my mom sent me and her to the car she literally was like why r u so serious they’ve been dead 12 years like wow! just wow!

enough of that girl i’m already getting mad.

let’s talk about the one who’s a boy… oh boy. his name is arsal and oh my god when i saw him in new jersey it’s like i swept off my feet back to when we were kids. when i first got to his house he didn’t say much besides hi and how are you and when our parents forced to go on that walk oh my god. alice i swear i can count to you everytime he looked down at me as i talked and everytime our hands brushed and flinched away. we caught up with school and our lives.

then he said what i was so scared of hearing. he talked about the time we were kids and he had the fattest crush on me and the way he looked at me was like i was the only girl in the entire world. after said incident as i left his house his instagram popped up on my thing and i followed him. HE FOLLOWED RIGHR BACK.

after this we saw each other in the city when our families planned to get together. we went on a ferry ride and i got seasick but so did he and everyone was doting on him but he was like “but she’s sick too!” and while we walked he deliberately stopped WAITED FOR ME then started walking with me and matching my steps. and when we were gonna go on the double decker buses he wanted to sit next to me but i was sitting with that horrible terrible friend and he was like oh no biggie and sat across from us and i could feel his eyes burning into my head all the time like the view was gorgeous and he was looking only at me.

and you’ll never guess it. right as i land back in texas all this energy just stops. from 100 - 0. the little times we talked in dms was just so dry and terrible and it doesn’t make sense to me so honestly i’ve just stopped trying. i haven’t texted him in over a month so i’d say that’s going okay.

and briefly let’s talk about cam bc ohhhhhhhh man. basically he transferred schools bc he got capped at ut and so he moved to austin which doesn’t bother me bc after new york i was like i rlly don’t wanna commit to him but we talk from time to time and recently we talked on ft and oh my god it was bad. i was complaining abt classes and stuff as one does and he literally says “yeah.. ur so beautiful i wanna kiss u rn” DAWGGGGG 😭😭😭😭😭 i hate guys like that so bad like that was just my breaking point and i haven’t talked to him since.

but in the next update i’ll talk about school and stuff bc ohbmy god so much is going on.

i know some of ur followers r probs like who is this insane chick with an insane life liek trust me i hate it too. - 🎀

seated for the lore ☕️

oh no i am not liking this girl already :// who says that about someone's grandparents at a GRAVEYARD?? 😭 that's so messed up, im so sorry she said that love :(

OHHH THATS A CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS WAITING TO HAPPEN 🤭🤭 and he admitted he liked you as a kid so??? feel like that entails that he would be interested in something happening in the future 🤭 but why is the friend cockblocking im so 🫥

BUT NOOOO WHAT :( he didn't reciprocate the energy after you moved back ?? that's .. if he's still ghosting i feel like i wouldn't want to waste any more energy on him 😪 some guys are soo..... also cam??? ew why does he sound so shallow there 😭 listen to a girl when she wants to rant !!! but as you should 🤝

HAHAHA dw im sure they're nodding along with the responses 🫂

#asks #🎀 anon

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, John Egbert, Karkat Vantas

Act 5, page 2790

?CG AT ?:?? opened memo on board FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY.

CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CTG: what

CURRENT ectoBiologist [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.

CEB: ok, i am here.

CEB: oh, hi dave!

CTG: hey

CEB: what is going on in here?

CTG: some kinda asshole rumpus looks like

?CG: EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP, I HATE YOU BOTH, ETC. ETC. ETC.

?CG: NOW THAT THE PLEASANTRIES ARE OUT OF THE WAY, THERE IS IMPORTANT BUSINESS TO DISCUSS.

?CG: THIS MEMO IS NOT ABOUT WHICH GUY CAN MANAGE TO BE THE HEFTIEST SACK OF SHAME GLOBES TO ONE ANOTHER.

?CG: IT IS NOT ABOUT WHICH ONE OF US WILL MOST DECISIVELY ESCORT THE OTHERS "TO SCHOOL", WHERE THEY WILL RECEIVE A VAST HELPING OF "OH SNAP" RAMMED DOWN THEIR INSATIABLE IGNORANCE SHAFTS.

?CG: THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION WHICH I BELIEVE NEEDS TO TAKE PLACE HERE AND NOW, SO YOU WILL BOTH SHAPE YOUR SHIT UP AND PERHAPS BEGIN TO APPROXIMATE PEOPLE WHO AREN'T EXCRUCIATINGLY RETARDED.

CTG: ok later windbag

?CG: STRIDER FUCK OFF

?CG: AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK.

CEB: yeah, dave, don't go!

CEB: i think we should listen to what he has to say.

?CG: YES, LISTEN TO YOUR LEADER DAVE.

?CG: AS DUMB AS EGBERT IS, HE IS SMARTER THAN YOU AND IS THE RIGHTFUL SUPERIOR AMONG YOUR DREARY LITTLE PARTY.

?CG: BUT I AM THE SUPERIOR OF BOTH OF YOU AND WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO BE DOING IS LISTENING TO ME.

?CG: SO DAVE, TRY TO KEEP ALL THOSE SICK FIRES CHECKED AND THOSE STOIC LIPS PURSED FOR A GOD DAMNED SECOND

?CG: AND TAKE THIS SIMPLE BIT OF HATEFRIENDLY ADVICE:

?CG: STOP HITTING ON TEREZI IMMEDIATELY, IT'S FUCKING EMBARRASSING TO WATCH.

CTG: nah

CEB: haha, dave you're hitting on terezi? really??

CTG: no

CTG: but whatever he thinks im doing im not going to stop

CTG: the guys jealous obviously he thinks his girlfriend has a thing for me and you know what hes probably right

CTG: but what else is new just another lady from outer space mackin on me whatever chance she gets

?CG: OH, HA HA! IF SMUG WAS A MOTORCYCLE, IT JUST JUMPED OVER A FUCKING CANYON.

?CG: THE CROWD GOES WILD WITH DISMAY, AND THEN COMMITS MASS SUICIDE.

CEB: karkat, is terezi really your girlfriend?

?CG: GUESS WHAT THIS CONVERSATION IS ABOUT! NOT THAT PARTICULAR TOPIC.

?CG: ALSO GUESS WHOSE BUSINESS THAT STILL ISN'T, FUCKING YOURS, THAT'S RIGHT.

CTG: pretty sure she is

CTG: or he thinks she is or something

CTG: made it pretty obvious when he started ranting at me months ago

CTG: back when i suspected these trolls were full of shit

CTG: but now look how far weve come

CTG: theres not any doubt left about that at all

?CG: EVEN IF THERE WAS ANYTHING GOING ON, WHICH THERE DEFINITELY [OOPS TIME TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AGAIN, ASSHOLE!]

?CG: OUR ROMANCE IS MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THAN THE JOKE THAT PASSES FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE CONCEPT.

?CG: YOU ONLY HAVE ONE QUADRANT! THAT'S JUST ABSURD.

CTG: right

CTG: sounds like its time to get a clue she is over you dude

CEB: what is so different about your romance?

CEB: what's a quadrant? how many do you have?

CTG: john god dammit stop embarrassing us

CTG: first of all weve got to be on record here as not giving a shit about that

CTG: second obviously theres gonna be 4 quadrants come on

?CG: JOHN, I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT YOU BEING THE SMART ONE.

?CG: DAVE IS NOW THE LEADER, EVEN THOUGH HE'S A SMUG SHITSTAIN WITH SHADES AND A POKER FACE.

?CG: IF THERE WERE FIVE, THEY'D BE CALLED QUINTDRANTS, GET IT???

CEB: wow, okay!

CEB: who cares, jeeeeeeeez.

?CG: YES, EXACTLY. WHO CARES?

?CG: AS FASCINATING AS A LECTURE ON ALL THAT WOULD BE, IT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT.

?CG: WHICH BRINGS ME TO A RELATED POINT OF BUSINESS.

?CG: JOHN, DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE HOW MANY E'S YOU JUST TYPED THERE.

?CG: THAT'S GOT TO STOP TOO.

CEB: what does?

?CG: STOP TALKING TO VRISKA. I'M FUCKING SERIOUS.

CEB: what!

CEB: no way. vriska's cool, i'll talk to her all i want!

?CG: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

?CG: YOU JACKASSES HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELVES INTO.

?CG: THEY'RE DANGEROUS, AND YOU'RE JUST BLUNDERING RIGHT INTO THEIR HYPERCOMPETITIVE MINDFUCK MURDER-THICKET.

?CG: THESE PSYCHO GIRLS HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN EACH OF YOU KILLED AT LEAST ONCE TO MY KNOWLEDGE.

CEB: well, yeah...

CEB: but terezi killed me in an alternate timeline, so that isn't too bad i guess.

CEB: plus, i am pretty sure that she is sorry about it.

?CG: OH GOD, YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT?

?CG: AND YOU'RE STILL GETTING UP TO THESE ANTICS

?CG: YOU ARE BOTH FUCKING HOPELESS, I GIVE UP.

CTG: k then bye

?CG: SHUT YOUR SQUAWK GAPER AND STAY PUT.

?CG: I'M NOT DONE.

CTG: sounds like a loudmouth inferiority thing going on here to me

CTG: like you dont want to acknowledge that your troll ladies find a couple of human dudes irresistible

?CG: YOU DON'T GET IT.

?CG: I DO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT AS MUCH AS IT MAKES ME SICK TO MY VARIOUS BITS OF ALIEN PHYSIOLOGY YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF, THESE GIRLS ARE CLEARLY FLIRTING WITH BOTH OF YOU PRETTY HARD.

?CG: THE FACT THAT THEY HAVE SWEPT YOU BOTH INTO THEIR SICK ASSASSINATION GAMES IS SADLY WHAT MAKES THIS OBVIOUS.

?CG: THAT'S WHAT THEY DO.

CEB: wait...

CEB: are you saying that vriska is interested in me?

CEB: like, romantically?

?CG: EGBERT JUST EARNED A FEW BRAIN POINTS!

?CG: HE HAS REACHED A NEW RUNG ON HIS ECHELADDER, "EASILY OUTFOXED BY SIMPLE UTENSILS"

?CG: "BUCKAROO"

?CG: OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

CTG: smooth

CEB: oh man.

CEB: uh...

?CG: YES LET'S ALL HAVE A GREAT BIG OH MAN OVER THAT

?CG: AND THEN FUCKING CUT THE HORSESHIT FOREVER. SOUND GOOD?

CEB: i'm not sure what to think about this.

CEB: dave, what do you think i should do?

CTG: i dunno

CTG: do you like her

CEB: well, like i said, i thought she was pretty cool...

CEB: kinda bossy! but also pretty friendly.

CTG: yeah ok

CTG: but i mean

CTG: anything more than that

CTG: like

CTG: if earth wasnt destroyed and she werent in some other universe on a planet full of unspeakable frothing dipshits

CTG: and she was on earth visiting your town or something

CTG: would you want to ask her to go see one of your dumbass movies

CTG: like the new maconnohey jam where he smirks and like all but deliberately draws the audiences ire like a goddamn magnetron

CEB: mcconaughey!!!!!!!!

CEB: um, wow, i don't know.

CEB: i mean, yeah, sure it would be fun to do something like that with her, i think.

CEB: but...

CEB: beyond that, it's a little confusing!

CEB: i don't think i have ever actually liked a girl before in that way, so i am not really sure what i am supposed to feel or do...

?CG: HOLY FUCK WHAT AM I EVEN READING HERE?????

CTG: doesnt concern you dude

?CG: OK JOHN, ARE YOUR FEELINGS QUITE SORTED OUT YET?

?CG: ARE YOU QUITE DONE SLOGGING THROUGH THE EMOTIONAL MORASS OF ADOLESCENCE, EMERGING FROM THE SLUDGE IN YOUR JUNIOR ECTOBIOLOGY WADERS?

?CG: ARE WE FEELING JUST A LITTLE BIT WISER? DID WE GROW TODAY? THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL!

?CG: YOU WOULD THINK WARNING YOU GUYS THAT FRATERNIZING WITH THESE FEMALES IS PUTTING YOUR LIVES IN DANGER WOULD BE ENOUGH.

?CG: REALLY, DANGER YOU SAY? OH GOODNESS, WE NEARLY MADE A HUGE MISTAKE! WHY THANK YOU, MR. TROLL, HOW GRACIOUS OF YOU TO ALERT US TO OUR FOOLISHNESS.

CTG: i dunno man doesnt sound like you really got our interests in mind here

CTG: you just sound kinda bitter

CTG: did one of the human ladies reject you

?CG: OF COURSE NOT.

CTG: how did it go did you stand in a quadrant like you were playing four square

CTG: holding a bucket full of flowers or slime or whatever and jade was like no thanks bro

CTG: is that how it went down

?CG: YES, YOU FIGURED IT OUT! YOU ARE A SAVANT OF XENOBIOLOGY DAVE AND I SALUTE YOU WITH ONE OF MY MANY INTERGALACTIC SPACE TENDRILS

?CG: (THAT'S FAKE, I MADE THAT UP TO FUCK WITH YOU)

CTG: or maybe it was a guy who rejected you

?CG: FUCK OFF.

CTG: haha wow bingo

CTG: see how i look right now thats a poker face might want to take some notes

?CG: I SEE NOTHING BUT A COWARD BEHIND DARK EYEWEAR CLEARLY DESIGNED FOR WOMEN AND A PAIR OF IMPUDENT LIPS PURSED SO TIGHT IT'LL SOUND LIKE AIR SQUEALING OUT OF A BALLOON WHEN I PUNCH YOU IN THE GUT.

CTG: oh god stop talking about my lips thats the second time

CTG: ok youre clearly gay and youve probably got some issues about it dude

CTG: john just a heads up in the future i think youre gonna spurn one of his awkward advances

CEB: uh oh!

?CG: JOHN DON'T LISTEN TO THIS FUCKER, HE'S THE WORST GUY AT GIVING ADVICE I'VE EVER SEEN.

CEB: yeah, i dunno dave, i have talked to karkat a lot and i really don't think he has a thing for me.

?CG: EXACTLY. JOHN ONCE AGAIN IS FLYING HIGH AS SMARTEST HUMAN.

?CG: AND JOHN, PURELY HYPOTHETICALLY, IF ONE OF US IN THE FUTURE DOES MAKE SOME SORT OF SOLICITATION YOU DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND...

?CG: BECAUSE OF PERHAPS SOME CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

?CG: I MEAN NO ONE IN PARTICULAR HERE

?CG: MAYBE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THAT PERSON MIGHT NOT BE THINKING TOO CLEARLY AT THAT MOMENT

CEB: uh...

?CG: IT MIGHT BE THE CASE THAT THIS PERSON HAS GOTTEN TOO WRAPPED UP IN A SORT OF CALIGINOUS IDEAL

?CG: AND GET CARRIED AWAY, POSSIBLY SO MUCH SO THEY WERE BLIND TO HOW COMPLETELY FUCKED UP AND WEIRD IT WOULD BE TO PURSUE ANYTHING LIKE THAT WITH ANOTHER SPECIES

?CG: ESPECIALLY ONE THAT DIDN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF A CALIGINIOUS RELATIONSHIP

CTG: what

CTG: the fuck

CTG: are you talking about

?CG: BUT I'M NOT THAT PERSON. I HAVE A FIRM GRASP ON HOW DERANGED AND UNNATURAL ANY SORT OF INTERSPECIES RELATIONSHIP WOULD BE, WHETHER CALIGINOUS OR CONCUPISCENT.

?CG: SO I ASK

?CG: NO I'M FUCKING BEGGING YOU BOTH

?CG: TO QUIT CHATTING UP THESE SHITHIVE BROADS AND LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE.

CTG: thats obviously not gonna happen

?CG: FUCK.

?CG: LOOK.

?CG: ALRIGHT I ADMIT THIS ISN'T PURELY MAGNANIMOUS CONCERN FOR YOUR SAFETY HERE.

?CG: WE'RE ALL SORT OF COOKING UP A PLAN RIGHT NOW.

?CG: MY RIGHT NOW.

?CG: WHICH IF SUCCESSFUL, MAY, AND I DO STRESS MAY, END UP WITH ALL OF US MEETING FACE TO FACE.

?CG: AND WHAT I'D LIKE TO AVOID IF AT ALL POSSIBLE

?CG: IS TO HAVE THIS RENDEZVOUS INSTANTLY DETERIORATE INTO A LOT OF REVOLTING TROLL/HUMAN SLOPPY MAKEOUTS.

?CG: THAT WOULD JUST RUIN IT FOR ME, OK?

?CG: REALLY THE ONLY SCENARIO THAT I AM SURE WOULD CAUSE ME TO REGRET SUCCESS. GOT IT?

CEB: er...

CEB: do...

CEB: you think that vriska is going to try to make out with me?

?CG: SHUT UP.

?CG: I'M NOT ANSWERING YOUR DUMB QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW MUCH SNOGGING YOU'RE IN FOR AND I'M NOT PLAYING INTERSPECIES MATCH MAKER HERE.

?CG: SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?

?CG: I SHOULDN'T EVEN NEED TO BE SAYING THIS.

?CG: GOD DAMMIT, IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE ACTUAL HUMAN FEMALES NEARBY FOR ACTUAL BIOLOGICALLY VIABLE MATESPRITSHIPS!

?CG: DO I HAVE TO DRAW YOU A DIAGRAM???

CEB: rose and jade?

CEB: so, uh...

CEB: you want us to like, date them?

?CG: WOULD IT REALLY FUCKING KILL YOU TO CONSIDER IT??????

?CG: I MEAN GOD. WHAT DO YOU EVEN THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE IN THIS GAME?

?CG: YOU'RE CREATING YOUR OWN UNIVERSE TO GO LIVE IN.

?CG: AND JUST HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR SPECIES IS SUPPOSED TO REPOPULATE ITSELF??????????? IDIOTS.

CTG: dude

CTG: no

CTG: just

CTG: stop

?CG: OH OK, SO THE ALIEN HERE IS THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED WITH THE PROPAGATION OF YOUR SPECIES.

?CG: THAT MAKES A LOT OF FUCKING SENSE. WHY DON'T YOU WISE THE FUCK UP, COOLDOUCHE?

CEB: i think he is right, i think we are all a little young to be thinking about that!

?CG: WELL NO SHIT, NOW YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY.

?CG: BUT WHAT ABOUT LATER? THINK ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE.

?CG: HOW DID HUMANITY GET AS FAR AS IT GOT BEING SO DUMB?

CEB: um, also,

CEB: we are kinda all related! sort of. through shared ghost slime genes. right?

CEB: so, uh...

?CG: OH RIGHT, THE BIZARRE HUMAN ANATHEMA OF INCEST, I FORGOT.

CTG: oh my fucking god

CTG: please let this conversation not be taking place

?CG: OK WELL LET'S SAY THAT'S HYPOTHETICALLY A PROBLEM, EVEN THOUGH I'M RACKING MY BRAIN TO UNDERSTAND WHY IT WOULD BE.

?CG: I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO DRAW YOU A DIAGRAM, BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST THAT STUPID.

?CG: HERE

?CG: http://tinyurl.com/MATINGDIAGRAMFORMORONS

CTG: ok youre by far the worst artist out of any of us

CTG: and thats saying something

?CG: SHUT UP I DREW IT FAST

?CG: NOW

?CG: AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE, THERE ARE ONLY TWO SETS OF COMPATIBLE QUADRANTS HERE FOR LEGITIMATE CONCUPISCENT PAIRINGS.

?CG: DAVE AND ROSE ARE "RELATED"

?CG: JADE AND JOHN ARE "RELATED"

?CG: THAT ONLY LEAVES TWO PAIRS.

?CG: ONCE AGAIN, THE DECISIONS PERTAINING TO HUMAN ROMANCE REMAIN STUNNINGLY SIMPLE.

?CG: AND YET I STILL HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.

?CG: NOW GO HASSLE YOUR FUTURE MATESPRITS AND LEAVE THE TROLL GIRLS ALONE.

CTG: thx for the shipping grid bro imma drop everything and go have a baby with jade right now

CTG: no peeking k

CEB: wow, i have to marry rose?

CEB: uh...

CEB: wow.

?CG: AND NOW THAT I HAVE SAVED YOUR ENTIRE WORTHLESS SPECIES WITH MY IMPECCABLE ROMANCE BROKERING SKILLS

?CG: I WILL BID YOU A BITTER FUCKING FAREWELL.

?CG: JEGUS I AM SO TIRED.

CTG: you should go back to sleep

CTG: it was so much cooler when you were asleep and i basically never had to listen to you ever

?CG: I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP

CEB: why not?

?CG: BECAUSE I'M TOO TIRED TO EXPLAIN WHY IS WHY.

?CG: YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT LATER.

?CG: MEMO OVER.

?CG: GET OUTTA HERE.

?CG banned CEB from responding to memo.

?CG banned CTG from responding to memo.

?CG closed memo.

#homestuck #dave strider #john egbert #karkat vantas #homestuck act 5 #page 2790 #homestuck act 5 act 2

[olivedoesmagic]

I stipped a school shooter then brought back their victims, met an old friend of mine who shot up a school. I was there imaginary friend, he had a list. I drank tea and time traveled when all of that was over to the historical period. They instantly recognized me as "zone capot" and "the doctor" as I met Churchville. He thanked me for helping with his presidency despite disagreeing on everything and as always I know nothing of history so going in blind I gave suggestions! I fcuked over red hood via DC comics by bringing him back with my selective insanity in the Lazarus pit so I took beatings and a punishment of the tanack as a gift here. Then I gave this world's beast boy his powers after they were bestowed upon me by a magick monkey! Long story. I am the multiverse as a human being. A concept breathed life into. And my ex friends snowf the salt queen and Morgan Hoffman keep trying to enslave me as Snow yanderefreak and her boyfriend Ricky and morgan have astral raped me via tearing my mind apart for answers and actually physically adjusting me through magick. 

Same with Haru twice now, after I told IT sorry sorry him, I understood his shitty as dollkin. I have learned that I am the God of toys Amirtia or Agzontay lots of names and every play pretend is in part how the gods divine fate and learn of prophecy sometimes even choose it as souls, every child gets a choice, and that choice is on bhelaf and in line with the soul via games. Children are so much closer to new souls and spirits and God then anything relative to adult humanity.  And divinity often feels like sexuality. Did I ever tell you about how I sculpted the cosmos in the mental ward?

Anyways I've initiated a curse war between snow Oliver and I via the ego of her rapist father. Regardless! It's so awkward when people who worship your aspects hate you! Like bitch I am erideil, lucofer, and Samiel and if you can't acsept that you can't acsept lucifer! It's literal!!!!!

Anyways! The multiverse as a person is me and I'm slowly but surley bestowing upon people superpowers in this reality I really got to introduce Garfield and Roy they kept their names bloody hell! As the god Shiro every self harm marka ND cut on my arm indicates a life or problem solved or saved. I am the Kami suciide and my human sacrifices are school shootings which I've been saving people from. This is the one time I sugest searching the dorm.

Also to be noted, I've been taking a paint brush to several cults fixing what was harming people and what was wrong with them. Meeting Japanese parliament as Yi and singing shitty Hamilton.

Anyways! I've been borrowing bad people's karma in order to save the world and them and improve the record and still save. I have learned how to change my face upon death. 

Also I've learned I have trippy dream Demon powers where I can cause hallucinations, madness, delusions compeling straight up vampire style and save people through it. So that's what I've been doing! Saving people! Alot of people!!!!!!! I am Zone first Captor! 

Anyways I took Kami/dj on my student and it was the biggest mistake of my life! One, a racist asshole towards me calling me transatlantic, 2 a huge ableist using his disability to harm others 3, made from of my alter Ehmo who is an aztec king! Who hoped to become a fashion and music and Wene one day. He's a piece of shit and he's no longer my student also used magick to sexually and phychically assault me in a bubble but then claimed it was "magick" so it didn't matter. Then back tracked saying it was an alter so "there white niger im off scot free" it…it…it wasn't an alter it was the main personality you homestuck Dave strider wanabe.

Anyways! All that inclined with everyone stealing each others shoes and snow getting red pulled quickly down an alt right rabbit hole and swatsticing a syngog wow fuck yanderefreak! I've made sure the proper channels know but they plan on framing me as being with them if I report it. Bitch I was home and I did report it! Also haru taped it you cunts! I'm not on that video!

Anywaaaaaays. Kami Strilonde wanwbe, kid swap homestuck wanabe, is attempting to learn voodoo curse magick to hex me to fall inkove with him and I have a reversal spell to turn him into my dog should that occur.

Haru is a bad doll!

Anyways the thing with voodoo is that it always comes back. Enjoy being raped Kami that's how voodoo fucking works. It's karmic and you can't "get around it via dave strider powers" you can't outsmart a karmic clock it will only tick forward faster.

Also unfortunately thr gods have made me imortal via Thor and zues and anti and Eruis and now I can only die one of two ways and you probably won't figure it out. I've taken 74 sleeping pills, spilt gallons of blood in both my wrists, taken alchual and 7 sleeping pills which Braiden Summers friend challenged me to do claiming they were with haru medusastuck laughing in the background, all while they deny even knowing me. Shitty puzzlingkazoo and Crocker. Who all enjoyed that they told me as much. Crocker calls me a suicidal manic "bitch your one to talk! Joke might be an asshole but you certainly aren't any better truescum stick together you two would be perfect hatemates you both abuse your partners!" And we all knew SHE KNEW that gun was loaded she told me as much.

 But that was all magick how am I supposed to tell the cops? Oh yeah the dream bubbles and I visited in a memory!

Regardless Morgan has been raping me via his offerings of sex and assaulting in my temple himself and other "but it's not real magick and your not a fake God it's so okay!" Wow what a fucking sociopath!!!!?

Snow was to right to hate claire she's just as bad as Morgan if not more so but snow the salt queens eating disorder curse she casted on claire was a little much! Totally babe!

Anyways, I've been saving people but I'm undoing bringing back Jazz for revelations, Snow doesn't deserve and quite frankly even though she's back and my friend now? NEITHER DO I! take that sincerely your loving necromancer yous crewed over!

E.a Koetting was right about you.

Olive brimstone student to acrians, Adam and lucifer

1:12 Tuesday September 13th 2022

If This text is canceled so may be innocent-12 -5

Define 5 = truthbeleive else Ricky = jail or equivalent 

Balme and foul expose = Calliope dirk Claiborne Marshall Lee Tereza and sign less and Malick tous and Lucy lue justice .57 - 12 ÷ parse = and eye for 13 limbs! 

An eye for an eye I forsee when you go blind so does your memory should you be rewarded per curse per hit may the car crash of your mommy and Daniel do it and should that fail per armage a fate worse then death issue your straight jacket etc derange!!!!

-1

= + 12

Final death = true

Sincerely your lovely ever pusling olive brimstone! Seriously kin me again Kami weaker see how far you fucking go!!!

#yanderefreak #black magick #reality shifting #homestuck #time travel #bill cipher #HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGAGAG #buy silver.... #love will #Youtube