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#so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it
inkskinned · 3 months
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yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."
i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.
the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.
mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.
later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.
sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.
but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.
i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.
every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.
wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?
the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:
he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.
every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.
mahler's fifth still makes me sick.
give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.
give me back what you took from me.
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enderwoah · 3 years
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ORIGINS SMP HEADCANONS (because i love them): SEASON TWO EDITION BAYBEEE
(this is really long ENJOY :gun:)
tommy
he is phil's son smile
phil's most recent son at least
he's got like one more somewhere
he picked this one up off the dangerous streets a few years ago and he's been sticking with phil ever since
his wings are small- not too small to fly, but they're untrained to the point where it would take a lot or work to get him off the ground
but at first, he didn't really seem to want to learn all that much?
(he has three scars on his face- all from trying to learn how to fly when he was younger)
(he gave up after the third one)
("if at first you don't succeed; try, try again" is his motto, and he tried all three times)
but!! phil and wilbur are very persuasive :) and now that he knows he can fly, he's not going to rest until he does
he's a little manipulative to get what he wants sometimes, but can you blame someone that lived on the street for so long?
he had to do that to survive! it's not his fault.
(it's a great excuse.)
he laughs like a kookaburra amen
he squawks when he gets scared
he chirps. he tries not to because it makes phil go absolutely bird-brained but he does sometimes and he hates it.
tubbo
NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A B[GUNSHOTS]
god he is. so fucking annoying (/rp)
he simply does not know when to stop
he ignores social cues to see when someone is annoyed
(see: he can read social cues. he does read social cues. when you get annoyed that's when he starts being more annoying, because you're more likely to give him what he wants to get him to shut the fuck up.)
he loves talking to (at) people, especially people he doesn't really know that well
so he's trying to be friends with ranboo, but the absolute prick keeps trying to avoid any actual conversations, so that's not working
he buzzes when he gets excited-happy
his fingertips are completely blackened and horrendously sharp, functioning as ten individual stingers
they don't do any actual damage but he's working on that
techno
wither hybrid (??)
how can you be a wither hybrid?? nobody got down and dirty with the wither
he's an experiment
the reason we haven't seen him yet? he's staying away from the main area of the smp
he doesn't want to ruin its natural beauty with his withering effect, so he keeps to himself on the outskirts of the smp
which sucks
withers get health from killing things
he's not fully a wither, so he gets energy from being around people and sort of draining their life force a little bit
he feels terrible when he's with just one person because they are Literally his life support and it makes the person feel like shit
when he's with a big group of people its great!! he only has to take a little bit from everyone and its barely noticable!!
but then there's the wither part. so he has to stay away.
he's always tired
always exhausted
he's a farmer, so taking it from animals works, but god does he miss people
but he can only visit a few times and for very short
(he's afraid that one of these days he'll get so bad that the next time he sees someone he'll accidentally kill them)
(it already happened once. he's blessed that he's been forgiven, even made friends with by the victims, but he doubts he'll be able to pull that off again with no consequences like last time)
wilbur
phantlings are dead elytrians, and given that wilbur was phil's son...he's a phantling
he died in the late 50s and was a librarian when he was alive, so he's very possessive (ha) over all of his things
you should never ask to "borrow" anything from him, he will hound you about it until you give it back
it's best to just say that you want something from him to keep
even if youre going to give it back
just for your own peace of mind
phantlings can feel fear and get a genuine feeling of elation from scaring people
of course, sometimes its unwelcome (feeling large amounts of fear from someone they care about in a bad way just makes them pissed)
but for the most part, wilbur loves appearing in the corner of people's visions just to jumpscare them a few minutes later
all in good fun, of course!! it's just hilarious :)
being the lighthearted, fun guy he is, he's not particularly secretive about his method of death
"how did i die? well, it all started -- ended -- on november 16th, 1958!"
"i walked out of the library late, since i took the shift for my wife since she was feeling sick and i worked there anyways,"
"the streets were dark and only lit up by gaslamps...and out of an alley...appeared..........."
techno.
he didn't mean it. wilbur isn't at all mad at him (anymore)
he was starving. he didn't know that one touch would be enough to fully revitalize him...
and murder wilbur where he stood.
sneeg
has details on everyone on the server
you Cannot Hide Shit From Sneeg
its impossible
if you find of his any shittly little mouse holes then you're doomed
you find one and there are twenty more
he's under your floorboards while you're having your important discussion about trapping the nether roof
sucks to suck ig??
he seems to be the favourite of many, which is weird since he rarely goes out of his way to actually talk to many people
he's the only person that tubbo doesn't actively try to annoy (or maybe he just doesn't find tubbo's antics all that annoying)
he's the only person that ranboo stays around (or maybe he stays around ranboo- he and Phil seem to be the only ones not off-put by his slightly sadistic and whiny demeanour (not counting tubbo, who annoys him anyways)
phil seems to be more protective of him than he thinks is normal (he lets sneeg ride on his shoulder while travelling, so he doesn't really complain)
niki is completely protective over him (again, not complaining)
contrary to popular believe, he does not get high from sugar
if anything he gets
high-per
(get it)
(high-per)
(hyper)
he's literally just a nine-year old getting a sugar rush leave him alone
phil
take the normal "bird-brain" headcanons and multiply it by like sixty-four
and you've got origins phil
he can't see glass- or, rather, he can, but it doesn't register that 'hey, this is a solid surface i am going to slam into'
its very funny for everyone else but he's pretty sure he has permanent brain damage from the blunt force trauma
if there is ANYONE on the server who dares to chirp, bird or no, they must understand that they are signing away their privacy and giving phil the right to go absolutely bonkers over them momma bird style
(shoutout to tommy, wilbur, ranboo, and fundy for having to suffer through this)
"oh??? you don't have wings?? you don't have feathers?? omg?? then what's this im preening?? what do you mean im just braiding your hair?? nono this is preening smile"
god help you if you dare to have wings
poor tommy, wilbur, sneeg, and tubbo
phil can't help himself alright
do you think he wants to be any sort of protective over sneegsnag?
no!! but he cant stop himself!! sneeg might damage his wings if he keeps flying those super long distances!!! nnnno! carry the bug man!!!
it's weird, he's always had that protective sense over ranboo, too
but ranboo very obviously doesn't have wings, so he doesn't get it...
ranboo
yes ur a peasant
yes ur poor
yes im cooler than u
what r u gonna do about it
the enderdragon's son! partially a dragon, partially enderman, partially human (don't ask, his other mom is a hybrid), all spoiled brat!
given that he has a ton of dragon genes, he's extremely possessive over his stuff and Yes He Does Do The Hoarding Thing
he has a pile of rings and gold chains and necklaces and most of his jewellery hidden underneath his bed
(if you ask him, no, he doesn't)
not to wear
just to Have
one time, fundy stole one (1) bracelet from the hoard and ranboo was sent into a panic for a good 24 hours
he wouldn't leave his cave and kept counting and recounting as if that'd make the missing piece reappear
(when fundy had to give it back because of the guilt, he expected to get his face bitten off)
(instead, he just watched as the prince was flooded with relief, telling him to get the hell out and nothing more)
it's weird, he has so much gold and even a crown, and yet here he is
living with all those people ^^^
truth be told, the enderdragon isn't a very nice dragon
nor is she a very kind queen
nor was the other queen
nor was her son
there was a mutiny in the end, leading to the dragon queen and her wife being killed brutally by the crowd of angered people
they went after their son next, who had ordered executions and worked servants to the bone just as much as they had
they cut off his wings in the middle of the square
he was sure he was going to die until a random person (a peasant) jumped up and yelled at them for publicly torturing a child
but ranboo didn't really catch all of it, given he was delirious from pain
he got to get some stuff quickly and escape with his life
this wasn't too long ago, either, so he's still trying to...adjust...to people talking rudely to him
(he's also trying to adjust to not having wings)
(hence why he hurls himself off the edges of cliffs and then has to teleport to the bottom instead of glide. he keeps forgetting.)
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chrolloctrl · 3 years
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hello~! can i request for Adultrio who fell in love with fem crime hunter Reader? also have a nice day/evening💘
thank you for the request! i tried my best to make all of these different from each other, but i also tried to stay true to how the characters would sincerely react:) oh and sorry for the late post, school’s been tough :( but yknow it be like that
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note(s)/warning(s): some mentions of blood and violence, but other than that nothing you wouldn’t see on hxh though
fandom(s)/character(s): hunter x hunter, adultrio, aka illumi, hisoka, and chrollo
for dialogue purposes, italics are you, and bold is the character :)
i l l u m i
since you’re a crime hunter and he is a literal trained assassin, the relationship is pretty much seemingly doomed for failure
however i imagine that you guys meet in an a very unexpected way
he’s on a mission to kill someone who had stolen from the zoldycks, and you’re on a mission to take out a thief
yeah it’s the same guy you got it
illumi gets there first and gets the job done
much to your dismay
you’re standing right behind him as he’s covered in blood over the body
all you say is “since when does the assassin do something morally correct?”
“when it benefits him.” he responds.
i think he recognizes you before you recognize him
“you’re y/n, right? crime hunter?”
“you could say that.”
“we aren’t so different you know..”
“we are incredibly different. i don’t kill for sport.”
“you still kill, though.”
you’re so pissed off because he kind of has a point
oh and that emotionless stupid little face of his pisses you off even more
it’s all love we know i love illumi
illumi’s bloodlust is out of control at this point, your interaction with him just increased that
“what are you going to do? kill me?”
“no. it doesn’t benefit me now does it?”
“what do you want from me illumi?”
“ a deal.”
somehow he ropes you into helping him on missions as long as it corresponds with your own morals
i think the moment he realizes he’s in love with you is when you explain morality to him
like obviously he has no idea wtf good morals are lmao
you act as his therapist in a way, comforting him about his past and telling him that his bad actions don’t make him a bad person, just a person who used to do bad things
sorry guys i love soft illumi, and i genuinely think he has the capability to be good
one day he breaks down after a mission, and he is so embarrassed that you’re the first person he shows his deep, buried emotions to
you just hold him and comfort him, telling him its not his fault
after that he doesn’t want to talk to you because he’s embarrassed
“i think emotions make you a better assassin.”
“how does that make sense?”
“makes you think twice.”
and now he knows why killua loves gon so much.
h i s o k a
we already know this bitch is obsessed with you
probably keeps tabs on you to see what you’re up to
every headline involving you “taking down another lowlife” catches his attention so fast
he wants a fight so bad
so he creates a plan
commit a crime so terribly that they HAVE to send you to take him out
just another amazing idea from hisoka!
so he figures out who you’re working for, and kills someone close to them, obviously leaving behind a trace so they have somewhat of an idea as to who he is, but still making it a hunt
he probably leaves a star and tear behind, something that only those who knew him would recognize
and so he watches you hunt him while he hunts you
you’re asking anyone and everyone if they recognize the star and tear, most people either having no clue, or recognizing it but keeping quiet about it in fear of what hisoka would do
eventually, someone says they know a person who draws a star and tear on their face — hisoka morrow
once hisoka hears that you know his name he is absolutely ecstatic, he probably reveals himself to you right after
“it has been so fun watching you search for me.”
“if you knew i was looking, why be a coward and hide?”
“there’s no fun if there’s no chase, darling.”
you guys battle it out, i imagine the fight is very close, but evidently you just can’t keep up with him
“you put up a beautiful fight…hmm, perhaps i’ll let you survive if you join me?”
out of breath and on the brink of death, he assumes you’re saying no
right as he goes for the finishing blow, you hold your hands up, and whisper through a mouth full of blood a small “i’ll do it.”
he has a huge grin on his face, so excited to have successfully “corrupted” you
sorry y’all added a little corruption kink in their my b
once he takes you to machi so she can heal you, you both go on ur little killing ppl missions together cos what else does hisoka do lol
he realizes he’s in love once you finish someone off, a crazed look in your eyes, smile on display, covered in blood.
“you’ve never looked as beautiful as you do now.”
you and hisoka’s love is weird. but it’s intense, and it is real. just not...normal.
you guys are crazy killers, but it works
he probably draws a star and tear on you just so u guys can match
after u.. murder people <3
yandere reader vibes sorry
c h r o l l o
for this, we are going to assume that you are the “weakest” link of the crime hunter agency
so they make you the bait
sorry i just want to cover all of our bases
you definitely have a lot of potential, you are just incredibly clumsy, and taking down the phantom troupe is something that requires plenty of people on the job
chrollo already knows you’re a crime hunter when he “runs into you” at a bar, as well as the fact that you aren’t working alone
but he entertains you, just because he’s bored lol
i can already picture you being caught off guard by how handsome chrollo is, because honestly im sorry who wouldn’t be
you kind of even forget you’re there on a job
but, when chrollo asks if you know about nen and what type of nen you use, you quickly remember why you’re there
you smile, “yes, i’m a specialist.”
he asks you to show him, but you decline
“i will lose it if i do.”
chrollo smirks, “smart girl.”
with that, you feel a sharp pain on the side closest to chrollo, and everything goes dark as you tumble into his arms
once you wake up, all the spiders surround you, chrollo in the center
“caught in the web.” you say, as chrollo’s eyes lighten up.
“precisely.”
“is there any way to escape a spider’s web?”
“prove to be worthy.”
there he went again, begging to see your nen so he could steal it
but just because you were thought to be the weakest link, didn’t mean it was true
“i mean, you’re looking at it right now.”
the troupe stares in confusion, and before chrollo can respond, one of the spiders falls to the ground, beheaded. (i can’t pick who so just pretend its ur least favorite <3)
the spiders stand there in shock
there were two of you.
the real you, free and unbounded, makes the clone disappear
“you said you were a specialist, but this seems to be a conjurer technique?”
“the speciality is that you can’t steal it. it isn’t exactly nen.”
this is the first time someone’s caught chrollo off guard, he has no idea what to do, i mean how did he know that this you wasn't a clone?
“now, i’ve heard once a leg is missing, there needs to be a replacement. what does the head think?”
you weren’t just a crime hunter, you were a double agent who wanted in on the phantom troupe
the moment chrollo realized your abilities weren’t nen, i think that’s when he fell in love
hear me out
he knows he’s going to be indebted to you forever
and we all know those books he reads...mf is a hopeless romantic who if in love, pretty much is absolutely obsessed
and boy is he obsessed already
of course, he is unable to steal it from you which is quite a drag
but, with you there, and your undiscovered abilities, the phantom troupe was basically unbeatable
something he wanted so badly
“welcome to the troupe number ___.” (once again i can’t decide who LOL you guys can pick)
you protect him and he protects you. 
if any of the troupe questions you and your decisions, he defends you so fast
eventually the troupe is referred to as “a spider with two heads”
kinda cute, kinda funky fresh name for thieves and murderers<3 at least u guys r passionately in love <3 
i hope this was good!! im kind of rusty so sorry :( im finishing up some other requests, and im thinking of crossposting a fic on here and on ao3, inspired by my dr strange/hxh hcs :) but requests are still open! guidelines right here  (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡ thank you to everyone who shows love to my posts!
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flowersofjannah · 2 years
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salaam sis, jazakallah khayr for your response <333 So, there is someone who may know but this mutual colleague is on leave and i'm leaving this place in 2 weeks (but i'll be back again in january iA for 1-2 months, then again for 1-2 months in the summer months - after which idk where i'll end up) but the colleague will also be back in january. i did want to just confirm things before then though as i dont want to be in a limbo and want to get over this all if he ends up being married/ figure out what to do if he's still single etc. I'm also incredibly shy like yourself and can't even imagine the thought of even saying hi to him as many people have suggested. most of my life if i have thought of someone for marriage/ liked them, i've kept it to myself. alhamdullilah it has meant i've saved myself from lots of pointless drama but at this age, im now wondering if i should take some initiative - but this is so tough as i become very shy around men generally and can't even look them in the eye. i also only continue conversations with men/ respond only if they initiate it so feel strange in this case if i have to start something myself. i dont want to get anyone involved at this stage - all i'm trying to do is figure out somehow if he's married but even asking this mutual colleague will mean that someone will know im interested and i'd rather not have anyone know but what can i do i guess?? idk sis, but it's been hard to focus. i have a tendency to get ahead of myself and imagine the future/ idea of a person before even making my interest/ myself known to them as im scared of what will happen if i become known to them. im more of a 'like them from a distance and hope they notice miraculously that i liked them, and maybe they like me back and will approach me first' kind of person. I will do istikhara as u said iA and see if i somehow bump into him again before i leave within the next 2 week. i may just drop a 'does your wife also work here as a XYZ as yourself?' (to which he could respond Y/N i do/not even have a wife) although this seems too daring for me to do and idk if this will make it obvious to him but in a shameless way ahhhh. even thinking about him makes me nervous as he's so serious and manly and private and ahh. i did try and look for his linkedin but he has no connections/ hasnt added anyone from work and it hasnt got his workplace on there, just his uni and profession (so im sure its him) - so he's not active on it or anything and it'd be weird to add him like that. he also doesnt seem to have any socials, then again im not on socials either besides this place and facebook which i dont use tbh. idk sis but i cant stop thinking about all of this really. i guess my issue is that whenever someone stands out somehow, i always wonder to myself 'is it him? will he end up being my husband?' but then end up finding out usually that they recently got married/ end up being a different person to what i thought etc :// jazakallah khayr again tho sis for ur words, i guess it's nice having some reassurance xx
Wa ‘alaykum assalam, wa iyyakki <3
There is no harm in talking to the mutual if you know that they are trustworthy and won’t spread your confiding. There’s nothing wrong in being interested in someone sis! It’s okay sis, you reminded me of a hadith:
Narrated `Abdullah bin `Umar:
The Prophet (ﷺ) passed by a man who was admonishing his brother regarding Haya' (pious shyness from committing religeous indiscretions) and was saying, "You are very shy, and I am afraid that might harm you." On that, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Leave him, for Haya' is (a part) of Faith."
[Sahih Bukhari]
Lol, you sound just like me 😂 plan out the wedding and baby names too early haha
Trust your intuition sis, if you feel he may be the one, perhaps you should bring 6 seconds of courage and ask of his relationship status. He obviously won’t mind, he’ll be nothing but flattered!
Just make sure to always keep things halal ^-^
Oh yeah, did you check if he's wearing a ring???
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rogueninja · 3 years
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gonna type up my thoughts on mando season 2 and the finale for anyone who’s interested and so I can process it....... (this is gonna be mostly negative thoughts sooo... thats your warning haha)
the mandalorian season 1 is something that brought me an immense amount of joy a year ago. i’ve always “liked” star wars but i’ve never really “loved” star wars, but I loved the mandalorian.... something about it. the small, western vibe, the mysterious main character with sexy armor, dad vibes, and a heart of gold. THE BABY YODA. the mandoLORE. the fact that it was completely its own little thing without having to be majorly connected to the massive star wars universe that we’re used to. and for sure it was a little clunky at times, but i loved it so much that i overlooked those things easily and even found it to be endearing.
i loved that it was created by people who knew star wars, had a passion for it, and a story they wanted to tell. they weren’t expecting to make a ton of money off it... like obviously it’s star wars, but i don’t think anyone truly predicted how majorly baby yoda would blow up or how popular the show would be with star wars fans. but of course.... then it did. and i hate to be that person but i think that’s when it all started to go downhill. like as soon as something becomes more about money and popularity than the story you’re actually trying to tell, you’ve already lost.
i won’t lie that just leading up to the mandalorian season 2, a lot of my excitement had fizzled out, but this was mainly due to the fact that other things have caught my attention in the meantime... but i was fully prepared to embrace the mando brainworms again. and like. the episodes were good! they were fine. i got enjoyment out of them. but something honestly felt.... missing? and it wasn’t until chapter 15 that i realized what that was.
season 2 is barely about din. it’s about... whatever else. boba fett. bo katan. ahsoka. luke skywalker. and these characters are fine on their own! and like... i honestly expected boba fett and other mandos to show up at some point (and i enjoyed boba’s time on the show, plus it makes the most sense for him to be there). but..... every episode became that thing that i hate that star wars and every other stupid reboot of every franchise does where they’re like. LOOK! look at this thing!!! u know this thing! well WE know this thing too!! and HERE IT IS!!! and it honestly upset me because YES there were a ton of star wars references in s1 but it was tasteful, yanno? it was more like easter eggs that the really dedicated star wars fans could appreciate and everyone else who didn’t get them weren’t really missing anything important and could still enjoy the show. but apparently now you also need to be familiar with hundreds of star wars tv show episodes so you can understand ahsoka and bo katan and it’s just ??? literally what is this even about anymore because it doesn’t seem to be about a mandalorian and his adoptive son. (dont get me wrong im fine with it referencing other star wars shows but i didn’t like the way it centered on these characters the majority of the time)
and then chapter 15 happened. you’ll notice that chapter 15 had no references to external star wars media (aside from boba fett, who was barely there), and was about din. it was about din and how far he would go to protect the child. doing the one thing they’d been building up to for almost two seasons by removing his helmet in order to accomplish this. it was awesome and i loved that episode so much and it really hit me during that episode how much i missed the show being about that. so yanno, i had high hopes for the finale....
which WAS... yanno..... fine.... like honestly i was having a good time there for a while. I liked seeing din go up against gideon... the buildup with the darksaber and the spear..... his only priority being the baby.... like, even seeing luke fight the bad guys i was like oh! ok neat i’m not against meeting luke right now and obviously he won’t run away with the baby because how would that make sense? there’s still definitely gonna be at least one more season and it would be insane for din to give up the baby and heck, we KNOW how luke’s jedi school went, after all  🤡...    🤡 🤡 ....🤡 🤡 🤡
so uh yeah. we get bad CGI luke (this is a whole other rant but like.... can we stop CGIing actors like just get a lookalike i am happy to suspend my disbelief save ur fx budget i promise it will suck no matter what). and we get.... we get a moment that i know others have already talked to death about but like.... din taking off his helmet in front of the entire room.... means what exactly?? he’s not a mandalorian anymore? he’s just gonna forsake his creed? that’s what we’re leading up to?? and it makes you realize that the helmet buildup they were going for this entire show really was that surface level. to the writers it was just about “yeah lets get din to tear down his walls! he loves his son so he’ll remove his metaphorical mask!!!” and not taking into account like. how they could have set that up so he wasn’t just straight up forsaking his creed....That should have been a private moment. Mandalorians are about family, and they could easily have made it about that. Grogu is his family. Din is accepting that at last. but.... nah
And then yeah he just yeets baby yoda off to luke skywalker who just like.... have i mentioned i really liked that this show wasn’t about the skywalkers..... it was a nice streak we had goin.... like if he had just come and gone without taking the literal lifeblood of the show I honestly would have been fine with it but.. nahhhh
and of course seven minutes left at that point had me hoping they would show din changing his mind but nope LOL they just were gonna tease the next star wars show..... and like last week when they announced like ten different star wars shows everything really clicked into place for me. like, oh, so that’s why this season felt more like an ad than a show about the mandalorian. we don’t even know if there will be a season 3 and honestly like... even if they do how would they go from here.... like without grogu what even is this show. either he’s totally gone which would be a huge mistake for obvious reasons, or they have to contrive some reason for din to get him back from luke, which will feel cheap. the only other option is... the show is over lol. neat. i guess they could make it about din becoming the mandalaore but uhh... pass.
overall just like. i was pretty disappointed with this season overall and for a while i thought I was just being grumpy until the last 2 episodes made me understand exactly why i haven’t gotten the same enjoyment i used to. FEELSBADMAN!!
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flowerslightning · 4 years
Text
The OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in FF7
This thing actually caught my eyes while reading a few theory about FF7R and the word OCD appear in their certain analysis, in IG, youtube comments and some posts in tumblr too. Dunno why but they always relate Biggs with OCD. I looked back to the scenes where Biggs appear and... Okay, i understand why they thinj Biggs has OCD or perfectionist
A lot of people, including the psych students themselves easily confused with OCD and perfectionist (I got confused by it quite often too). Now, is Biggs OCD or is he just a perfectionist? Let's take a deeper look at it
Biggs is not a famous character. So fans dont really care about him, but I do
Disclaimer : i'm not a psychologist. Im an intern and still studying. Psychiatric is not my major field but i got assigned there as an intern for quite a time and we got exposed a lot about psychology too. We didnt learn them professionally like the real psyche students, we learned (and still under training) through real life experience + a little bit from the books.
So there might be wrong interpretation here and there. Pls correct me if I'm misleading u. And pardon my english. Pls dont use any of these terms to diagnose urself. Remember, I'm a student, not a professional.
I kins of blame the social media for portraying OCD in such a nasty way, when someone with OCD is actually suffering inside.
OCD is not just about 'clean clean, must clean this place till squeaky clean' and OCD is not about being perfectionist. OCD and perfectionist are two different thing.
Perfectionist is more to a demand demeanour, eg "I want the cake to be like this. I want it to be pink. No, not that pink, it must be neon pink with slight purple. Do it again. No, i dont want that pink. Do it again. Ahhh yess, nice pink." Someone with perfectionist, after they got their result, they will immediately bcome calm and satisfied. Perfectionist is obviously different from OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). OCPD falls under Personality Disorder and it is different from OCD. Im not going to talk about that
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Credit goes to crazyheadcomics.
Look at how OCD got spoken from the media perspective. It is very much resemble to Biggs, dont u think? In reality, someone with OCD always feel stress about everything around them, and they will find it hard to complete their task.
OCD has two components - Obsessive and Compulsive
| 1. Obsessive. It is a repeating thoughts about something and often occur until it makes someone feel stress about it. Eg, u think that ur hand will get bacteria infection if u touch a chair, door, fridge or when holding someone's hand. This thought always appear in ur mind everytime u touch the door, chair, fridge or somebody's hand, but when u touch ur shoes, u never think about the bacteria (in certain cases, some patients become scare of everything they touch)
| 2. Compulsive. It is a repeating of the same actions to fulfill the 'obsession' in order to reduce the stress acted upon them. Usually the 'action' has a specific ways in which the patient believe he has to do it like this or that way or else he will fail. Eg, after touching the chair, he will immediately wash his hand 10x from left to right. He believes the hand washing wont be effective if he starts from right to left
Another sign of OCD is when someone re-checking the door lock few times. Its normal for us to re-check once/twice the door lock for confirmation, but for people with OCD, they will re-check the door lock for about 6-10 times and still not feel satisfied and later they stress out. And also the OCD people, they tend to get annoyed when something is not in particular order and they will immediately fix it eventhough they know they're wrong.
I met a funny woman at the hosp arranging our students' books according to its thickness, when I asked her why did she arranged our books like that,
She replied : "Doctor said I have CDO"
Me : "Sorry, CDO? Never heard of it"
She : "It is actually OCD but I feel so stress hearing that term so I put it in alphabetical order. CDO, much better"
We both had a good laugh. Her case was not serious though, but she was feeling miserable with her thoughts and decided to meet a psychiatrist. I would say she was still in early stage for someone with OCD, but may lead to severe if left untreated
It is really hard to satisfy and convince someone with OCD and they always feel stress about something they shouldnt care too much about. U can say OCD is a fastidious type, and they're actually more than that
If we want to relate this condition with Bigg's case., urmm. The only time where I can spot him being different than the other characters is when he's busy sweeping his front house and when he pat Cloud's head during the Sector 7 plate fall.
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The cleaning stuff isnt exactly weird thing for a human to do. But it is something odd, I mean, he just finished his mission with Jessie and survived a jump from the plate, and yet he still have the energy to sweep dry leaves, AT NIGHT! He can wait till tomorrow though and should get himself a proper rest.
Wedge says Biggs has a habit of overthinking stuff
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And there we see Biggs sweeping the dry leaves. It might be because he is trying to distract himself from doing his bad habit - overthinking. But urm , i think there'll be higher chance for someone to overthink when doing house chore like Biggs is doing. This is where lots of people say Biggs cleaning the house at night is bcause he has OCD or he's a perfectionist.
But I dont think thats the case. For real, he is completely normal. No sign of him acting weird in that scene. If he really does have OCD or he's a perfectionist, we'll see more of him arguing with Barret about unnecessary stuff. He cant become one of Avalanche's strongest member (not exactly strong, but hey, he's trustworthy). Also, if u notice, Biggs have one earring on his right ear. Someone with OCD will feel irritated by it bcause his ear doesnt look 'balance'. OCD people, even in mild case, they want everything about them to be balance and in good order.
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After trying to understand Biggs way of thinking and style through his short screentime, I strongly believe this guy has no such thing as OCD or being a perfectionist. Biggs just cares tooooo much about his friends, he thinks 10 times ahead from the bigger picture in which it frightens him about the bad consequences that will occur to people he cherish.
He is the type that always have a back up plan in his mind. He thinks of 5 possible bad things and comes out with 10 solutions. That's the power of an overthinker like Biggs I'll tell ya
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Biggs probably cleaning his front house area at night bcause the next early morning, he will need to leave his house for the bombing mission. Better take care of things the night before the big day. He can ditch the cleaning work but he wont do it, not bcause he's a perfectionist/OCD, but try to imagine this, if ur front house is full with dry leaves and rubbish, it will be unpleasant for the neighbours next to ur house to see. Living in the slum means higher chance for u to get sick if u dont take care of ur surrounding hygiene. Biggs is a kind man, and I believe he doesnt want to upset his neighbours
He probably has overthink this matter like "If i dont do this now, I probably dont have time for doing it tomorrow. Maybe I'll broke my leg from the mission and this trash will be left untouched, then there'll be high chance for the children around here to get sick. What if they get infectious disease bcause of this dry leaves? And then the parents will be worried and the Sector 7 Slum will be in chaos etc etc. Time for plan A. Let's clean this place"
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Besides, remember the post where I mentioned about Mental Health First Aid? Biggs, as the side character gives the best MFA to Cloud even without knowing what Cloud had gone through. Biggs is just toooo kind with his friends, he cares too much causing him to overthinks about his friends conditions. He can notice even the slightest change in his friend's behaviour and with his own instinct, he cheers for them
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Aww man, how can u not love his personality? He's the sweetest side character ever (and kinda hot too).
Soo as the conclusion for my post here, Biggs does not have OCD. He's a side character with a big heart who cares tooooooo deeply about his friends that leads him to overthink too much.
However, if the devs say Biggs really has OCD then my statement about him will be invalid. I'm sure they have put everything in a very close detail look.
Btw, I personally think Biggs kind of portrays the other small side of Cloud, the overthinking part for their romantic partner. But Biggs express his worry through words while Cloud express it through his actions, eg - like how he always keep an eye on Tifa. He never speak it directly like "I'm worry about Tifa, I must help her", he just simply be with her either she needs a help or not. While Biggs clearly says "Jessie been acting weird, I should go if she needs any - help -"
Action speaks louder than words but sometimes our eyes failed to listen.
Alright, that's it. Thanks for being with me till the end.
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smellysluna · 5 years
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The one where Luka is a clown | Fictober19 #1
Prompt number: 「 one 」“It will be fun, trust me.”
Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug
Pairing: Luka Couffaine & [YOU]
Rating: T (Teens And Up)
Warnings/Tags: none
Summary: you’ve always had a crush on him bcs he simply was your type but nothing really happened unitl You & Luka get set up as project mates
Side note: I know that it’s the twelth of october but i just started it, i’ll write some more for fictober but i’ll use the prompts as i see fit bcs i’m just like that so yeah. anyways i hope this makes some kind of sense, its been a long time since i finished something i began writing. okay so i also wanted to write luka because there’s not many fics with him with an “x reader” tag. okay talk over, enjoy the story babes!!!!
"Hey."
I turned around in my seat and smiled. "Hi, Luka."
"So... how'd you wanna do this?"
I cocked an eyebrow. "Do what?" Luka shared an amused smile. "Oh!" I face-palm. "The project! Right." I picked up the notebook with my notes from my desk and slammed it on his desk. Then I rotated it in his direction. "This is how we're going to do it."
"Wow, you've really thought this through already."
I rest my face on my hand and smirk. "It's no coincidence that I ace my presentations."
"I guess I'm lucky then."
"More than you think." I straighten my back. "Okay, no funny business tho. You fuck up and I'll make you suffer all the way to June. Take a picture of them notes so you have a copy and have a slight idea of what's going on."
He puts up a half-amused smile, "this ain't my first rodeo."
"But it's your first bullfight, so keep up." He laughed and I bit my lip. I might've gone overboard. 
"I'll do my best," he assured in a soft voice. Holy shit. He's so mellow. As soon as I was sure he had a picture of my notes, I took his phone. I entered into his contacts and added my number then dialed myself. 
I show him the screen of my phone. "Now we have each other's numbers." He smiled before I turned around just in time for the teacher to get in. 
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
I was watching dessert recipes on YouTube when I received a message from Luka. The popup appeared from an Unknown number which reminded me that I forgot to add him to my contacts.
"hey"
     "hi"
    "what's up?"
"i went through ur notes"
    "yeah?"
    "they're amazing, aren't they"
"u made those in class"
"how???"
"they're too good"
You sent an image:
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Unknown sent an image:
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"anyhow"
"i wanted to know when you want to get the project finished"
"i thought that you'd want to finish it asap"
"u look like you have a busy schedule"
    "i'm free whenever, really"
    "but i don't want to finish it in one go"
    "so we'll spend a couple of days on it"
    "if u dont mind that is"
    "btw you give me too much credit"
"right"
"it's fine, yeah"
"more time to clown around"
Unknown sent an image:
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    "> AUDIO (laughter)"
    "IM DYING"
    "WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY"
"i took clown courses in my childhood"
    "where's the diploma huh?"
"wait, lemme look"
"wait"
    "ur serious???"
"photo(clown certificate)"
    "I CAN'T BREATHE"
"clown code: never joke about being a clown"
    "AND HERE I WAS"
    "THINKING YOU WERE THE COOLEST GUY AT SCHOOL"
    "BUT ALL THIS TIME YOU WERE JUST A CLOWN"
    "I WAS SO FOOLISH"
    "ur now officially added to my contacts as clown boy 🤡"
"coolest guy huh? ;)"
    "don't let it get to your head, clown boy"
    "as much as i'd love to know about your clown career, i have to go make dinner"
    "we'll talk more about it at school"
    "don't vanish on me"
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    "i'll snap my fingers into Thanos' ass if i have to"
"right 😂"
At dinner, I couldn't stop thinking about Luka. We might've never talked much to each other but I always had the hots for him. He was just my type: tall, supposedly long hair for a boy, dyed hair, punk-like feel and especially (these just get me going) those black gauges in his ears. Anyways, I'd lie if I said I never got distracted in class because of the smell of his cologne.
"Thank you for dinner, [Y/N]," said my mom after she cleaned the table.
"Don't forget to do the dishes, love."
"Yes, Dad," I chuckled.
"We're off to bed, then. Goodnight, [Y/N]."
"Goodnight, mum. Goodnight, dad."
That night, I fell asleep thinking about how nice that chat conversation with Luka was.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
I groaned loudly when I got into class. I ran because I was late for geography. When I got to class, the lack of a teacher at the desk made me want to kill myself. My classmates were scattered around the classroom in groups, as usual when a teacher was absent. Done with life, I walk to my desk, drop my backpack and accommodate my face on the desk. Suddenly, somebody is standing next to me. But I really just wanted some sleep so my first intention was to ignore whomever until well, it's self-explanatory.
"Looks like someone spent all night thinking about me."
"What!?" I see Luka. Now fully energized and heart pumping, I stutter: "No, no. What are you even saying?"
He laughs and takes a seat on the vacant spot in front of me. He rests his arms on my desk. "I'm just messing with you, wanted to see the reaction I'd get out of you. I wasn't expecting to fully wake you up." He smiles broadly and I stare into his eyes.
Have you ever met that person, no matter who they are, their eyes are so enthralling that you just can't help but keep staring at them? These kinds of eyes just have something... Something I'm unable to describe. And when I stare at them, they're so glossy and shiny.
"I think you'd look amazing if you wore eyeliner."
"Huh?" Half of his face moves upwards in sync. "That's very random."
"I mean, yeah." I look away, fidget with my bracelet and then look back. "I just thought it'd bring your eyes out even more."
"Ooh," he exhales knowingly. "Because they're blue, right?"
I knit my eyebrows together. "No," I say offended. Had this boy never realized how nice his eyes are?
"Why then?" He asks and nods his head onto his arms.
"Well," I lick my lips, "I don't know." I shrug "It's not because of the color, which is beautiful just so you know." I caress my arm and try very hard to maintain eye contact, occasionally looking away. "Your eyes, I don't know, they just have something."
He smiles at my words, "look who's talking."
"Not a clown, that's for sure." He groans in a boyish way and it melts my insides so warm I almost let it show.
"You won't let it go, won’t you?" He lays defeated on my desk, arms sprawled.
"You did that to yourself." He hummed in a way that seemed a mixture of displeasure and annoyance. His long hair was sprawled in every direction of my desk. I could tell that he washed his hair either last night or this morning —it smelled so nice. Luka smelled really nice and I couldn't help but bite my lip to restrain myself from sniffing him all over like I was some kind of dog-bred. I started playing with his hair and it was so much softer than I expected it to be, it was dyed after all. He let a pleasurable groan slip through.
"Does this bother you?"
Luka abruptly opened his eyes and forced my head to rest on the desk as well. With very soft caresses he ran his hand through my locks and I understood what it was that he intended.
"What about you?"
I stared into his eyes for a moment and closed them, then resumed playing with his hair as he did the same. We were so close, I could hear his silent breathes. I wondered if this could be considered as cuddling. Honestly? I didn't care because I was enjoying it.
"Hey, guys, look at [Y/N] and Luka."
"Woah, when did that happen."
"Never thought [Y/N] liked that type of guy."
"You're kidding, right? Luka's definitely her type."
We spent the rest of the hour like that. Somewhere in between, the rest of the class noticed us but, frankly, we paid them no mind. But it made me anxious. Not because of what they said but about what Luka might've thought about it.
"I kind of like this," he whimpers softly as if scared he'd break whatever we had going on.
I agree with him softly, just as scared to ruin the mood.
When the bell rang, we hesitantly broke apart. Luka returned to his assigned seat behind me and then class started. The moments the teacher repeated subjects the class already went through, Luka played with the ends of my hair.
After the school bell rang for the last time that day, Luka approached me. He asked if I wanted to start on the project today. Luka was so cute while he asked. He didn't do anything particularly cute but the way he looked when he leaned on the wall had sent me flying. Obviously, I said that it was a good idea. Not desperately, of course, even though I wanted to grab him and steal him away. I kept my cool.
"What time?"
He grimaced to hide a grin. "I was hoping, like, right now?"
"Uh, well... On any other particular month, I'd agree and take you to my house. But we're getting reformations done so it's a very big mess."
"We can go to my place." He states like it's a universal fact.
"But all my shit's at home, and I'd want to empty my backpack, grab some money, etcetera."
"Okay, I get it. I can take you home and we'll head right over to mine?"
Even though I might pass out any moment out of pure embarrassment, I cross my arms in an 'X' in front of his face.
"No way that's happening, clown boy."
"What? Why?" He frowns.
"No way in hell I'm letting you drive me on your motorbike."
A small laugh escapes his lips. "You've never been on a motorcycle?"
I act displeased.
Luka laughs with a hand on his stomach. "You haven't!" I scowl and his laughter subdues. He waves his hands in front of him and apologizes for laughing. "I'll be careful, just for you." He assures.
"Even if I agreed... I doubt you'd have a second helmet. And we all know that police officer which has an obsession for the law."
"I got us covered on that one, I have two."
I stare at him. "You had this all planned out, didn't you?"
"No," he grins, "it just happens to be that I usually pick my sister up from her school."
"Oh, so she's gonna have to walk all the way back to your house. We can't let her do that, can we?" No matter how much I crush on Luka, anything that can get me out of sitting on that devil's contraption, I'd go with.
"I said 'usually', didn't I?" I can feel his smirk soaking right through me but in a much more softer tone he said "it'll be fun," and smiles "trust me."
It was his goddamn smile that convinced me to agree.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
"I never knew you could live in a boat."
I looked around the main deck and, for some reason, I felt very lightweight and free.
"You don't like it?"
"The contrary, I love it!" I smile at him, "it adds to your charm."
Luka smiles back, "thanks."
Both of us walked inside the boat. I took everything all at once. You rarely get the chance to be inside a boat-home. But the most surprising thing was that it was stable —at least more than I thought.
"My room's the one at the end. Get yourself comfy —I'll be right there."
I bite the inside of my cheek. "Okay."
Once I get into his room, I relax and take a look around. I leave my backpack by the door and head straight for the most valuable thing to me in his room. Luka had one of the nicest guitar stands available on which laid the most basic electric guitar ever... but since looks can deceive, I pick it up.
I make myself comfortable on his bed along with Luka's guitar and a guitar pick I snatched from the wall. Without thinking twice, I started to play. It didn't matter to me that I hadn't plugged the guitar into an amplifier, this particular tab didn't need the magic of electricity. I suppose I should have asked first if I could play but it's too late now-
"That's 'Lonely Day', right?"
"Ah! Shit! Sorry!" I stood up hastily, the guitar pick went flying to the floor and I placed the guitar back where it was supposed to be. I turn to him to apologize, "I should've asked-."
Luka walks past me, grabs the guitar by its fretboard and puts the strap around himself. He shuffles around me and I was too confused to realize what he was doing. Then he hands me the guitar fully-tuned-connected-to-an-amplifier guitar. He lifts it by the fretboard again and hands it over to me as if telling me to take it. I stare into his eyes and do exactly that.
At that moment, we didn't need any words as I accepted his silent offer. I strum dumbly and then start fidgeting with the knobs on his amplifier. I bite my lip, it doesn't have as many options as mine and it's smaller than the one I have at home but I managed to get the right sound.
I started playing a song that I had played countless times and felt very confident. This moment was about impressing Luka and I was determined to blow him away. But the moment I started playing, I couldn't keep up the cool-girl act and grinned as I played around the room.
"Wow," he said amazed after I finished. "I never knew you played guitar, let alone that well."
"I'm amazing, I know," I wink.
"What did you play?"
"You don't recognize it!?" I gasp loudly. I put my hands over my heart. "Oh, my heart! It hurts! I have never been so hurt before!"
He holds back an embarrassed smile. "Guilty as charged."
"It's Crowd Chant, by Satriani," an exaggerated sad smile adorns my lips.
"Oh, right! The guy from 'Surfing with the Alien'!"
"Yes, that one! I love him, he's my idol!"
"He's good."
"Good? He's a GOD." I pout at him. "Your idol is Jagged Stone, that's why you have so little appreciation for him."
"Right."
I playfully punch him. "Just kidding."
"I thought I was supposed to be the clown around here."
I laugh very loud at that. "Yes! I will - haha - leave - ha - the rest to you."
During the week we were making the project we had gotten really close and we kept hanging out at each other's houses even when the project was long ago finished. I met his very cool mum, and his sister, who is physically exactly like him but both of them don't seem to admit it. And he met my small family too.
"I keep telling you! You do look alike! Genetics is no joke."
"I agree with [Y/N]!" Juleka's friend said one day over dinner. I can't remember what her name was but I always thought there was more than 'friends' between her and Juleka.
"We do not look alike; you both must be very blind," Luka jokes and I pinch him very hard. "Ow! Stop!" He pinches back.
"No! Luka! That was payback for yesterday!" He stuck his tongue out at me and I growl. "You're very mean."
He shrugs, "whatever you say, [Y/N]."
"Oh, 'whatever I say' it is, is it?" I crossed my arms and pondered without breaking my staring contest with Luka. "So if I said you're ugly, you'd agree?"
He smirked, "sure." I felt how triumph tasted and literally a second later I tasted defeat. "But it won't affect the fact that my eyes have 'something'."
I became a blushing mess and everyone at the table stared at us.
"So..." Juleka started, unsure. "Does that mean that [Y/N] confessed first?"
Juleka's blonde friend nodded, "I knew it!"
"I'm happy for the both of you," Mrs. Couffaine cheered with a very sweet smile.
There was a problem with their cheers which made Luka and me quite uncomfortable. It was wrong. Nothing had happened between us.
"It's...! It's not like that!" I attempt to defend ourselves and turn to Luka. "That's not what that was, right, Luka?"
He was looking in the opposite direction, scratching his crimson red neck. "I mean..."
I hide my face in my hands. "Oh my God, I want to kill myself."
"You know what? We will leave you both to work out whatever misunderstanding there might be, okay?" And with no answer, all three of them left.
"Let's go outside." With no warning, Luka took me by the hand and guided me to the main deck. It was chilly outside and I shivered but kept it to myself. "Here." Luka handed me his jacket.
"Thanks," I smile and put it on. It still smells like his cologne.
"About what Juleka said..." He avoided my gaze by looking into the river. "I might've told her that I like you," he turns to me and takes my hands, "a lot." Luka squeezes my hands out of nervousness. "The way you and I understand each other, without any words, just the music is enough. I feel like we're connected through it like we are the power-chords to any rock song."
My heart was melting, I always knew deep down that Luka's a very sweet romantic and he was killing me with his cuteness. I never knew you could look cute and hot during a confession. "Luka, I-"
"Remember when we sang 'Anything better than you'?"
"Yeah."
I recalled the memory. At the end of the song, when the part that goes "I can sing anything sweeter than you" our lips were so close... I couldn't stop thinking about it before I fell asleep every night.
"I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I just couldn't do it." Luka pulled me in and we were as close as that other time, my heart was beating so hard I could hear it in my ears. "Until now."
Luka kissed me and I kissed back. We kissed each other so desperately and I ran my hand through his hair. Fuck, how I loved the softness of his hair. We break apart for a kiss and stare at each other's eyes, dumbfounded. We kiss again except this time it wasn't as desperate. It was softer, a kiss only Luka could make amazing. Luka had thin lips but made up for it with the way he kissed. I wanted to kiss him more, I wanted more from Luka so I kissed him harsher. Then he broke apart the kiss, clearly taken aback from it.
My heart stopped, "I... I'm sorry-!" He cut me off by kissing me harsher than I did and I loved every second of his harshness. I began feeling his neck, his back, his chest and pushed myself closer to him as every second that passed it became hotter.
We broke the make-out apart. Our flushed faces appreciated the cool night breeze. We keep wrapped around each other. "I think we should get back inside."
I listened to his pounding heart through his chest. "Not yet, clown boy."
"Whatever you say, love."
774 notes · View notes
bucksbisexual · 4 years
Text
okay here goes my reaction to ep7+8 of where your eyes linger without subs,,,,, theres obviously spoilers after the cut so read at ur own will
episode 7
just gook and his milk and something about a fight being in the voiceover
oh shit taejoo isn't responding HE'S RUNNING THERE
is he in those sheets
OH HE'S CALLING TAEJOOS DAD
he called pilhyeon too???
OH SHIT HIS PHONE IS THERE AND BROKEN BUT WHERE IS TAEJOO
IS THAT ONE OF THE "BAD" GUYS WHO ARE FRIENDS WITH PILHYEON
???????????? DID HE DO IT ???????????? WAS GOOKS MIND RIGHT ABOUT HIM ??????????????
okay he didn't kick his ass so it looks like he didn't
OH HE JUST HIT HI MSJDHSKDMS
VROOM VROOM GOOK IS GOING SOMEWHERE
TAEJOO HI BABY
i understood kang gook and punch what-
HOLDUP DID HE JUST TELL HIS DAD THAT HE LIKES KANG GOOK
OH NO TAEJOOS PUPPY EYES WHEN THE GUARD SAID KANG GOOK WAS THERE
KANG GOOK BRO
GOOK VS EVERY SINGLE GUARD
THE VOICE OVER JUST SAID SARANG AAAAAAAAA WHAT DID HE SAY
AGAIN SARANG
gOOK U LOOK SO H*T BRO
WAIT THAT'S THE EPISODE?????
oh shit extra scene???
what even-
yall can't see me but I'm literally like this
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that was the epilogue holy fucking shit........... im scared for ep8 now
gooks hair on the thumbnail tho,,,,,,,,, my mans sexc
episode 8
bABY YOUUUUUUU ONEUL DARA NUNIBUSHYEO SENGAKCHIDO MODEUN SUNGAAAAAAAAAAN
half of that is wrong i know
he said let him in oh boi oh boi oh boiiiiiiii
am i the only one who HATES when older people talk like that in kdramas or-
taejoo can't watch oh my god this hurts
DID HE JUST SAY THAT GOOK SHOULD LEAVE????? OR IS MY KOREAN REALLY BAD
IS HE DEFENDING GOOK??????? OR IS HE SAVING BOTH OF THEIR ASSES??????????
OH WAIT
WAIT WHAT
hand holding and hugging KDFKDNFKSDNMD
im a weak woman and it looks like taejoo either saved both of their asses or he said fuck u dad im responsible enough to live by myself without ur help
HE SAID JOHAHAEEEEEEEEBTICJSSJDDJAKSJSKSKS
ENGLAND????? UH????????????
IS TAEJOO TELLING HIM TO NOT KISS HIM BECAUSE OF THE BLOOD IN HIS LIP I HATE HIM CKSJSJSJFMSSKKS
they're talking about dreams i think???? the closeups are Really close now which means Something Romantic And Intimate Is Happening
huh????????
something about looks/gazes ??? im guessing it was something like i gaze at u idk
is taejoo packing to go to england? :-(
HE IS
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THE VOICEOVER SAID BECAUSE I LIKE YOUBTICJDKAJSAKAJAKALENSKSLS
GOOK BABY :-((((((((((((
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE TOOK ONE OF GOOKS FIGURINES STODPSPDKDKSKDKDSKDJFKS
HE GAVE HIS HOUSE TO GOOK IN EXCHANGE OF HIM GOING TO ENGLAND??????????? I HATE IT HERE
back to the present (?)
gook is leaving the job ? or leaving to go home lol
HE'S GOING TO JAPAN??????????
WILL THERE BE A TAEJOOXGOOK REUNION IN JAPAN?????????
aw the mom gave him money
pilhyeon????
OH?????????????
they're in good terms now that's nice (?)
lmao pilhyeon just said something in japanese sjsjsjs
okay but the only times we see gook hug someone is when he hugs taejoo and he looks so comfortable in his arms :'(((((((
complete contrary to right now with these farewell hugs lmao
?????? WHAT IS HAPPENING LMAO
heemis mom straight up sobbing over gook leaving is a mood
TAEJOO?????????????????
oh it's not
goddamn it my ass was excited to see him be like WHERE'S GOOK I CAME BACK TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM
sam nyeonie omg bitch 3 years since taejoo left and this man still has a big fat crush on him
okay damn son u look way too good for just leaving like it's a trip 👀👀👀👀
the scenery tho.. chef's kiss
oh?????
TAEJOO?????????????????????
BTIVHSKSDJSKSKSKS
THERE'S A LITERAL RAINBOW BEHIND HIM THIS SHIT IS GAY GAY
HE SAID HE LOOKS NICE DAMN RIGHT HE DOES
i think he just told him that the tteokbokki in japan is different bitch stfu they don't even have tteokbeokki in england 😭😭
SOMETHING ABOUT WISH WHICH IS RELATED TO THAT LAST NIGHT THEY SPENT TOGETHEE THREE YEARS AGO DON'T TPUCH ME DON'T YOUCH ME I'M A WEAK BITH WHEN IT COMES TO CHARACTERS REMEMBERING CUTE SHJT
OHHHHH THE PART FROM THE POSTER BABYYYY
BTJFIXJAKDISSKSOAODJSKSKSKSKSKSKDJSKSJDKSKSJDKSKSKADKDKSKSKSKS
KISSS KISS KSISSISISISISS AAAAAAAA FINALLY BTICHD
THEY'RE SMILING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
love how in that second kiss gook didn't even move his lips in kiss motion lmaosnfjksdjkskd
IT ENDED LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
i took a whole hour to watch two episodes......... they are 10 and 16 mins long.............. no comments
behind the scenes moments :'((((
:-(((((( i will miss these dumbasses a lot :-((((( what a cute but lovely (even if it was filled with angst) drama :-(((((((
honestly im just glad they actually kissed on camera instead of it being like teased and not actually done lol it's korean so i wouldn't doubt it if they did so because its lgbt and not """"family friendly""""
but yeah im really happy with this drama
of course i wish there was more of it but oh well
i hope korea does more lgbt kdramas because this one was so different from thai bls
and there's something about kdramas that would be sooooo nice to see in lgbt media
but yeah this is too long already and it's 11:17am and I still haven't slept so bYE
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mikkock · 4 years
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Hey hi your murder mystery art is super totally cool and amazing and I'd like to Extra! Extra! hear all about it *rattles bells*
haha wow i cant believe ud ask me THIS! unbelievable! now im gonna have to make a long post!
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all info under the cut cause im kind like that ♥
For reasons I felt like making a Fancy Ass murder mystery story, with you know, hella complex secret storylines and everyone having drama and shit, and one person died but the more the story goes the less people care about who did the murder and the more they want tHE JUICY DETAILs. X and Y had an afFAIR you say!!! well that’s thousands time more interesting than that murder that happened, who cares about the culprit its not like any of us are going anywhere anyway! tell me more about the marital issues!
The ultimate Vibes are Clue (the game, ya kno, it had a movie too, and that movie was shot with three different endings -fun fact- so that movie theatres could play one alternatively that way people wouldnt get spoiled or even if they did they would not get the ending they were spoiled or even if all three were spoiled you couldnt know which ending you were getting anyway, big dick move, cause its an old movie and film is expensive, also that movie stupid and campy, ALSO I ONLY LEARNED MAKING THIS AU THAT IN ENGLISH THE GAME’S CALLED “CLUE” wE CALL IT CLUEDO therefore my wip playlist is called cluedo. because. fuck it.)(i just have an emotional attachment to that game i even had a cd rom video game version and it was the spookiest shit for a 6 years old, trust me, i played it so much tho i didnt even understand the rULES i was just making scenarios like gathering the characters in rooms n making conversations outloud cause honestly the banter is the best part of a murder mystery) ANYWAY that sure is a whole paragraph of tangent. 
BUT YE the inspo from the Clue game. you can tell it from the Colours obviously, everyone’s colour codded.(even everyone’s name is colours as well you’ll see it’s real dang fancy! im just remaking that game but with 2932020 characters and more behind the scenes drama and also for gay people.)
So BASIC PLOT!
Sir Belyy, the dude in white, is The Rich Powerful Respected Fancy Boss, and he throws a Fancy Reception Party with his closest friends and associates to celebrate the opening of a new branch of his business. All the lads gather in his wonderful little very isolated mansion in the middle of nowhere, like ok he got a death wish or something or he’s very trusting of his business partners, but not a good move, cause in the middle of the reception, as A Phat Storm Starts (for plot convenience, we going with a campy vibe if you couldnt tell), his body is found, it’s awful, there’s a killer on the loose! All the guests gather, and attempt to maybe contact the authorities, to not avail, since The Storm ya know, phone lines are Broken my dude. Its clear that the culprit is among them, since no one could have entered the house, or left it (cuz once again, ThE sTORm). And then it’s all about interrogating each other, distrust, alliances and betrayal, revealing one’s deepest secrets when they form an alibi and revealing someone else’s deepest secret for they could be a motive! Meanwhile there’s a dead body in the mansion just chillin there. 
.
So as I mentioned, I changed everyone’s name to be colour related (or ya know, food or flowers of that colour cause sometimes a colour in a language would not work as a name given the way names work in that culture all that jazz) which is the trippiest thing cause tHATS NOT YALLS USUAL NAMES but its fun (also changed so many ages hgfhs it was a trip)(still no one’s really old i guess i got boomerphobia). The “Cast” is clearly the most important part, and if ur a True “My OCs” Connaisseur (hdfghd the most useful skill to have, knowing *MY* Charactersdshgd) you may have recognised some faces and can already read some vibes and predict who will be progressing the plot and who will be yelling at people throwing accusations ghdfgd.
(god i wish i hadnt slacked off making the portraits of everyone in that AU i only have 3 tho that’s so sad so ill just make little sketches just cause <3 only text??? i got too many hoes with no attention span for that)
.
Sir BELYY (the one who dIEs lmao)
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(bust shot missing the fact that this man is the tallest beefiest lad around)
Intimidating, powerful, composed, wealthy, carries the name of a family who has generations of control to it’s reputation, he’s The Man that hoes who believe in the economy wishes they were. As in, the “self made” man who only just happened to benefit from having a wealthy background to uplift his plans. In his youth, he wanted to prove his worth, seperated himself from his father, started a business, that business became big, then got attached to the family’s business, bam back to square one but with Reputation now. There seemed to be VERY big tension between him and The Father, some speculate it had to do with his unknown mother, and some family drama there, and it never got resolved as old man Belyy died quite young (the jUICY speculations are that current sir Belyy mURDEREd old man sir Belyy, fucked up if true!). People love him though in general, as he has that reputation of “Cold Lad With a Gold Heart” aka he takes people under his wings, donates, doesnt treat his employees like the absolute worst garbage etc... you know, he’s rich and a half decent person, so obviously he’s an angel on earth. But does it matter though, he’s dead! that’s the concept of the story!  
Mr.GRAY (the grey guest)(who could have guessed from the name)
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He’s one of Sir Belyy’s oldest employees, and benefits from a high rank in the company. But, sadly for him, he’s been stagnating lately, as newer, youngest employees seem to have Belyy’s favours, and are his prefered associates for important tasks and positions. Therefore he has Some Bitterness, Some Salt, Some Distaste, some unbriddled but professionally muted hatred for Specific people in the company. He can be an antagonistic figure, but the amount of time he spent in Belyy’s circle grants him an immense quantity of information about the man, but mostly, about his business. Anything about the company’s history, dealings, operations, he’s aware of, either having been told of them, or having snooped around to obtain, immune to being questioned due to his legitimacy in the company.
Mr.LIM (the green guest)
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Remember when it was said that Gray had beef with some employees cause they were younger and rose to high ranks faster than him and became Belyy’s favourite over him? Yeah well here comes the one he hates the most for that (ofc he’s belyys fave cuz he’s Mine <3) Our lad caught Belyy’s attention for his Exploits in like, em fancy high school tournaments of smart people, it’s a thing its ridiculous, making kids compete on Smart stuff for the pride of their schools n shit, well homie Lim got clout when doing that, and Belyy was extremely interested cause that kid’s main thing was how “this young lad got mad strategic skills tf are u a war general or smth how fancy”, and that’s a coveted skill for ruthless business. So as soon as the kid is an adult, bam, join the company my dude. And because he’s just that Cool n Sexy ofc he met the expectations Belyy had, and old man Belyy got attached cuz it do be such a young lad, a kid, mentally i am adopting. That’s how you get a youngas employee becoming the right hand man of one the phatest CEO in a few years, and even make your way into being a Good Lad on top of a business partner. And that’s how you get Gray to hate your ass too. Now though, fine lad with mad strategic skills, rising to power that fast, and even infiltrating Belyy’s private life? If I were Gray I’d call suspicion there’s surely some shady stuff going no way we’re just dealing with a nice fella who just happens to work good and be friendly to the boss right?
Herra MUSTA (the black “guest”)
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Belyy’s newest butler, assistant, house keeper, he multitasks. His family has been tied to Belyy’s for generations, fullfilling roles of help, but also of confidents. He’s been the head butler since only a short time, after his mother passed, and as such is still “in training” you could say, despite having served the family his whole life. There are rumours going around that the contract tying his family to the Belyys may end on his generation and need to be resigned. He known the manor by heart, and carries all keys to any locked room (and mostly, The Master Key, cause in an old house, some doors may be locked beyond all still existing keys). He also knows secrets of the family that no one else knows, but good luck getting em out of him, he’s under contract not to divulge em bro.
Mr. HASSEL (the brown guest)
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Belyy’s childhood friend. They grew up together, pictured their dreams together, sworn to flourish together, worked together when starting the company, and then Hassel felt he should create his own thing instead of depending on his friend’s existing wealth, and while Belyy’s business went wild, his never took off. They still stayed very close, despite the massive difference in wealth. Belyy considers him his closest friend, the one person he can trust (fucked if hassel did the murder lemme tell u). So of course, he’s still always invited to the Prestigious meet ups where’s he’s free to feel uncomfortably out of place amongst all the rich and powerful people that he could have been a part of had he had a tiny bit of luck and a small loan from a wealthy relative...People LOVE saying he’s still hanging out with Belyy so much to leech off his wealth, cause of course they do! His bestie status means he has a whole different brand of information of Belyy than his butler does, the Most Intimate Stuff, the Childhood Stuff. The Juicy stuff ya kno...But Bro Code, its all secrets...
Sir RUZH (the red “guest”)
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Deep dive into Belyy’s personnal history, the man has many employees working at his house keeping it working, clean, ya know the vibe. They live on the premice, one has a kid who’s just a Joy to be around, all the employees just vibe with that lad, he’s just a born socialite you know? Belyy gets to meet the kid, and also hella vibes with him. And because human are influenced by their feelings, he gives the kid’s mum a bit of a preferencial treatment, in the tasks she fullfils and all, til he gives her an important-as mission, and then there’s an accident n mama dies, and now Belyy got guilt and there’s this kid who just Vibes. So naturally the move is to take the kid in, and play on how his vibes are just so clean, and raise him to be the Perfect Entertainer for guests, bam, its soft power propaganda, if everyone loves your now son’s vibes, they associate them with you too. And also that’s kind of a clean rep, the selfless man who adopted his employee’s son to not have him fall to the streets, how heartwarming. Not at all traumatising for the kid too I bet! But anyway now the lad is just the most charming young adult, mission accomplished. He’s always present at any reception, ready to work his people-pleasing magic, and then going back to a gigantic empty manor to wait for the next and curate the perfect vibes to meet the expectations of dad. On the plus side, he knows everyone, and those who don’t know him cannot wAIT to, he’s just got that aura ya know. People skills for miles, and the insider knowledge that comes with being the son of the CEO, all this hidden behind the personna of the fresh innocent bashful party lad. 
Dr.FEN (the pink guest)
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Do not get mistaken by the title, he’s no doc, he will not diagnose you with anything, he just studied long enough to get the sexy title. Study in what? Haha. Nothing shady. Just toxicology. He’s a world reknown poison expert basically, that’s his main thing. Oh but don’t worry, of course studying substances that may kill people is only for finding out how to cure them from it of course. What brings him in this circle? Simple, Belyy may or may not have started to suffer some weird illness that no doctor has been able to find the source, let alone cure, of. Him and Dr.Fen had met previously on some event, cause some rich man also love flexing how smart they are and attending sciencey shit, and he was contacted as sort of a shot in the dark. The lad does know how to treat some things, maybe he can treat The Mysterious Unwellness, since no traditional doctor was able to. He knows science, he’s trustworthy, bam, you’re hired to work on My Case Exclusively. Thanks to this, Dr.Fen has access to the whole health history of Belyy and his family, to many mANY dangerous substances, and also has The Respect of the hoes at the party. He HAS a doctorate after all. Epitome of knowledge. And he’s a kind to people and he wears pink like dang how can you nOT pour your wHOLE trust in him. 
Sir MOREVITCH (the blue guest)
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Youngest son of an affluent family, who used to be close the the Belyys. The two families fell slightly appart after the death of the previous head of the family on the Belyy side, as they do nOT vibe with the current one (well current, til the first night of the story ig). But, unbeknownst to all, one strong link had been kept, between the youngest of the Morevitch, who dislikes his family and wishes to emancipate himself from them while also assuring his depart will not throw him basically in the streets, and our beloved Sir Belyy, who also dislikes the Morevitches but loves to see the rebellious energy of the young one (and ya know, my enemy’s enemy’s my friend or however you say that). So Belyy’s basically offering tips and helping Morevitch plant himself safely out of his family’s grasp, but it’s all taking quite some time isn’t it, slow and steady is fine until your parents try to arrange a wedding to secure more political power, and suddenly it is all quite urgent that you escape that situation because No Thank You Parents I Do Not Want A Wife I’m Too Young And Also Huh <3 Stuff You Won’t Like Hearing For Sure <3. The people who know they’re working together also know that it’s a big point of argument between them, the difference in vision between “you have to go slow and steady to be safe” and “I have very limited time to get to that safety anyway so I gotta risk it” “hell no you cant i can’t follow through if we’re going that quick that’ll put me at risk and you’re family’s gonna send gunmen to take me down”. A mess, it’d be much quicker to just obtain a few million bucks out of nowhere and bolt for sure...
Mr.GANG (the orange guest)
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Morevitch’s trusted assistant. He hears the concerns, he helps the secret businesses, he lies to the parents about the whereabouts, and mostly, he’s basically a budget spy. The lad got that talent where people just don’t notice him popping behind them and catching all their dirty laundry as they confess it to someone they trust, and he always manages to break into places, get the intel he was looking for, and escape, putting everything back into place as if no one was ever there (wonder where he got all those skills from damn!). But what he’s even better at is being sneaky not only to benefit his boss, but himself as well <3. If he can catch all the info in the world, go any places, nothing’s stopping him from playing double agent and also going behind Morevitch’s back. After all the assistant life isn’t the most glamourous and rewarding, who can blame him from going and using his talents to build his own little exit route, right? Everybody sort of knows he cannot be trusted, but also no one managed to really incriminate or stop him, and as much as he has tea on many people, no has it on him, but bet once found that would be heeeella juicy.
M.MOUTARDE (the yellow guest)(this one is straight up the name of the yellow player in the french edition of clue too when i say its my main vibe)
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Moutarde was an influential celebrity. He had a big break acting in a movie that the whole country stanned so hard they basically turned the script into their national anthem (they would have if it was a true democracy where the people really decide), he was so handsome and elegant, everyone’s dream husband. And then the fame fiddled out because it’s how fame is, one moment you’re the sexiest dish on the table and the next someone brings in dessert and baam, its all about that fresh cake, and no one pays any mind to your delightful aroma anymore, you’ve gone cold, they had a bite, their interest is somewhere else. Belyy really admires his work though, and mostly finds his image fits with the brand of his company, therefore the two are working on a collaboration to make Moutarde a representative. This WOULD boost Moutarde’s reputation, for his ads would be displayed on every imaginable surface of the country, and it would also benefit the company cause being represented by thAT sexy motherfucker? clearly that’s a deal. The freshness of the partnership means Moutarde is a newcomer in the guests, a fresh face, with no reputation, no relationships, no unfair biases against him. He’s just the new handsome charismatic lad with a squeaky clean image. Emphasis on “image”. After all, no one really knows anything of his background, right?
Kun.LAWENDER (the purple guest)
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Private investigator, very useful to be around at a party it’s almost like it was expected there’d be a body to investigate, he’s a very close associate of Belyy, as there’s nothing more important to business than investigating the rivals and finding dirt on them to make them fall through infamy. He’s not exactly the PI who goes look for justice to be served, he’s just here for cash bro. He’s got intel on everyone, and will only let it out if offered the right thing in return (money, or sometimes other pieces of very secret intel, trade is good). Wouldn’t advise letting him and Gang team up tbh but they probably wouldnt, as Lawender is really more of a lone wolf player, going on his own for himself. The one thing that negates his usefulness as a PI on an accidental crime of scene is that even if he knew the whole truth of the event he would not spit it out unless he benefitted from saying it. He sure is a polarising lad, but at the same time, an untouchable one, he’s too knowledgeable to be taken down. Rather than sneaky, he’s extremely observant, noticing the tiniest details and engraving them in his memory, ready to be linked up to other details to deduct the big picture. He’s the upfront tea gathered basically (as opposed to Gang’s shadow tea gathering if you will, they are similar forces but using opposite methods)(also one of em got a licence n the other does not hAH).
~~~~
Now the secrets, all of em have them. One of em at least got the secret of having KILLED Belyy that’s that. But that’s to be kept for later (for if i ever use this story for more than daydream material gfhjgh) bet you can imagine what some of em may be just out of Knowing what i do, from having seen the characters in other contexts, or just because you’re a genius and reading the character profiles immediatly lit up the bulbs in your head forming the perfect theory, props to you, mad genius.
Honestly my thoughts are just how lit of a game that would be, you get to pick one hoe (maybe sum are locked til u find their secrets for juicy purposes) and you do your invetigation using your character’s perks and disadvantages, and maybe there could even be Multiple scenarios and outcomes, to spice it up, give replay value, i just think it’d be a game id spend hours on. tryin to get the spicy details of everyone’s life. walking around n digging through a rich man’s stuff, witnessing the drAMA of people fighting cause they’re locked in with a murderer and that’s stressful ngl. That or a long ass show @ netflix wanna give me a show maybe? give me hella budget we’re making it animated cause im too cultured for live action. 
whatever i make of it though, i hope i can make this story Flourish, just so that i can lay down all those secret backstories i’ve written. i want the satisfaction of throwing out the craziest secret drama between character n seeing peeps loose their minds, it just is a tasty experience.
also i gotta say, i plug the hell out of Clue for an inspo but when i was building the basics of the story my mind immediatly went “oH MY GOD THE VIBES,, THE BACKSTABBING AND tEAMING UP and all,,, its The Genius, that one tv show where peeps have to do the wildest games that require strategy n they’re in that fancy set that looks like a rich ppl mansion oh god the vibes” so yeah, i rewatched the whole first two seasons cause they’re my faves and that had an impact if only minimal in the aesthetic.
Anyway hope that quick presentation gave you a lil taste of the story, and maybe,,,, got you curious,,, craving to learn more like you never did before (im exaggerating the only real question we all got is just “so who’s fuckin with whom then how many of yall secretly dating” this the real deal)
#doodlin every lad's face at one rly be like 'welcome to the cheekbone festival'#they got antti AND said at once like the cheekbonage is out of this world!#that's musta n gang btw#also every single time i draw cream (blue lad) im like 'i havent drawn u in ages' n it isnt#that i dont draw him much anymore#but that ive drawn only this bitch for months back in the days#him bein in this without his lover....criminal#cuz his boo wouldnt fit a murder mystery au like#hoes would find the corpse he'd just be like 'welp on that imma go to bed aight bye'#anyway u can tell which of my ocs i simp for v easely#like fr#they the ones i spend the longest drawfigfdj cuz i draw em n then go 'not hot enough do it again'#a struggle!#anyway the secret is that i prepares a motive AND an alibi for all of em#so that i can pick who murdered belyy at the last moment <3#its all abt the contextual clues on the scene of crime <3#none of the drama tells u anything its all for the treat of gossip <3#sad part of this project is how much ive planned n written yet i can barely tell anythin if i want to make it#n ive drawn nothingbhd#i hav a dari n a weiwei in their coloured clothes lookin handsome cuz ofc i do#im predictable i have faves#ask if they're in love in this one too take a fuckin guess#u rly think hoe going to his boss's house so much to see the ceo ???? HAH#the real question isnt if theyre smooshin we all kno that answer the question is if dad white suit knows thATs whats important#are yall secret lovers or is green boy climbing the ladder of the company cuz he's smashing the boss's son#who knows#i do i aint telling pay me
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theokotrain · 3 years
Text
Vestige - Interlude: The Party
Wattpad Version
As the night fills the sky
All my fears are dissipating
'Cause I feel reassured
That I might make it through
And if all my luck should burn
Then I guess it burned for you
---
April 13th, 2012
I was sitting on my bed, back against the bed frame with my knees raised in front of me, holding up my laptop. I had been spending the last few hours writing an essay for my English class, specifically answering the topic question my teacher had given everybody: "How do our past experiences influence our decisions?". The question was simple enough, it's a pretty universally recognized idea that stuff that happens to us has an effect on our decision making. I mean, that's what it means to grow, right? You gain more knowledge as you live through life and form new memories, and that helps you make more informed decisions in the future.
I've never really been too good at writing anything analytical, especially non-fiction. Essays and research papers that required informed arguments that helped to prove your point? Those were an entirely unknown game to me, one which I had never managed to breeze through. Of course, we were supposed to use some of the books we've read this year as evidence for our arguments, so that at least made it a bit easier, even if most of the books were ones from nearly five decades ago and definitely out of touch at this point. The sound of my laptop's keys clicking as I typed away were the only sounds I could pick up in the room. I had my earphones in for a bit, but those always hurt my ears after a while, so I had taken them out.
Looking at the time in the corner of my laptop screen, it was 4:43 PM. I started writing as soon as I got home from class, so I've only been going for about an hour. Unfortunately, this essay is a non-insignificant amount of my course grade, so I needed to finish this as soon as possible.
God, it's a Friday! I could be out doing something actually fun with Shae and the other guys. Isn't that the whole point of high school? That's what it always seemed like in movies, at least, but I guess I've been a victim of false advertising.
After a bit more time passes, the sound of my phone ringing from my desk brings me out of my writing trance. I sigh, setting my laptop next to me on the bed, not wanting to get out of bed, but eventually forcing myself into maneuvering over to the desk, I grab the phone and flip it open, looking to see the Caller ID.
Shaela.
I instantly accept the call, it's almost second nature at this point. She calls me at least once a day so she can tell me about whatever person is pissing her off that day, or whatever drama she's heard from her other friends. I was never really one for gossip, or whatever, but I did appreciate talking to her.
I put the phone up to my ear, "What's up?" I say, a tinge of fatigue in my voice.
"Hey! Just warning you that I'm like five minutes from your place and you don't have a say in the matter." She replied bluntly. I can hear the sound of cars driving by on the other side of the phone, so she's obviously outside, confirming her words.
I take a deep breath before speaking, "...Why?" I said with exasperated sarcasm.
"Because! I have something to tell you, and if I say it over the phone then I seriously doubt it'll work out in the way I'm hoping it does."
"That clears up nothing, actually, and now I regret picking up."
"Even if you didn't answer, that doesn't stop your parents from letting their son's lovely goody-two-shoes of a friend stop by for a visit!" She exclaimed, a mischievous tone subtly layered in her voice.
She's not wrong.
"Wow, you make this sound like you're sneaking into a high-security building or something." I say, utterly confused at her motives. "Obviously you can come over, but I'm not exactly filled with confidence at whatever you're planning."
"Like I said, I can't tell you yet, but it's gonna be awesome!" She said. There was an unusual perkiness to her that made itself pretty clear over the phone.
Before I can say anything, I'm met with the dial tone, signalling that she had hung up. The only thing I can do at this point is wait for her to get here, I guess. She always lets herself in when she comes over, so I don't make the effort to meet her downstairs. A sudden ping sound fills the quiet room, seeming to come from my laptop. I get back into bed, looking to see where the notification came from.
It's a message from Tyler.
He's definitely the newest member of our little group, if even that. I'm the only person in the group that he's actually friends with so far, despite my efforts to bring him along on any plans we all make. I only met the Grey Wolf back in February, at the beginning of the second semester, in the school's photography class. Nobody I knew signed up for it, and due to our prestigious high school's advanced budget for technology, we were forced to be paired up for shared computer use in the Photography Room. I suppose Tyler was also fortunate enough to not know anybody in the class, as we ended up being paired together by the teacher. He was definitely someone I could only describe as uninterested, as the first week or two I spent with him in that class consisted of him either giving me one word answers or answering in the most blunt, bored tone he could manage. Though, it seemed that it took a bit of persistence on my part to push him to be more open, and since then he's grown to be a pretty great friend.
Tyler: u goin to that party tonight ive been hearin about?
Party? I wasn't made aware of anything like that, at least... not yet. Something in the back of my brain was telling me that Shae had ulterior motives about coming to my place so suddenly, but I'm still hoping that I'm wrong. I hate parties.
Jake: party? havent heard anything, are u going?
Tyler: thinkin about it
think its gonna be over at chris's place, guess his parents r gone for the weekend or somethin
Jake: chrisssss? ughh that guy is such an asshole
Tyler: yeah u dont havee to go, but itd prob be more fun to have someone u actually know there
The way he worded that was directed at me, but I could tell he didn't want to go on his own.
Jake: i guess ill think about it
Tyler: sickk, call me if u make up ur mind
Before I can type my farewells over IM, Shaela energetically bursts through the door.
"Jesus! You scared the shit outta me, don't you knock?" I said, mildly exasperated.
"Oh come on, I literally called you a few minutes ago, you had plenty of time to not make a situation where it'd be a bad idea for me to barge in," She replies, laughing, before setting her bag on the ground and dramatically falling into my bed. "Today was garbage."
"What happened?"
"Ugh, Claire decided to just not show up, I guess, on the day we're supposed to present that stupid History project? And, obviously, she didn't give me her part of the project or anything, so I had tell Mr Thomas about the situation, which was fucking embarrassing." She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Luckily, he said he wouldn't reduce my grade for handing it in late, since I actually had my part finished. God, what a bitch- I must've called her like thirty times before class to get her to email me her part, and every time it went straight to voicemail - and she told me last night that she'd have it ready for today!"
"Have you gotten a hold of her yet?" I asked, closing my laptop and setting it beside me.
Shae turns her head to me, shaking her head, "Nope, she's been ghosting me all day."
"Sounds like typical Claire."
"Yeah, I shouldn't have partnered with her, but apparently I can't say no to anyone, so..." I chuckle lightly in response. "Anyways! I didn't just come here to complain to you!" She says, sitting up on the bed, now facing towards me.
"Right... So what was so important that you just had to tell me in person?" I say, sarcastically.
"Like I said, if I asked you over the phone you would've definitely said no, and my ability to pressure you into doing things isn't as effective unless it's in person!" She responded.
I subtly rolled my eyes, but it's clear she noticed from the stare-down she gave me, "Okay, so what is it?"
"Soooooo..." She says, trying to find the rest of the words, "There's a party."
Wow.
"Wh- did everybody know about that party except for me?!?" I exclaimed.
Shaela's face quickly turns to an expression of shock, "Who told you?"
"Tyler did, like, not even five minutes ago." I say, bluntly.
"What? How does he know Chris?"
"Friend-of-a-friend, I'm guessing?"
"Hmm..." She hummed, thinking about something, "So, did you tell him you were going?"
"I specifically said I'd think about it, nothing definite." I made it clear in my tone that I wasn't particularly interested.
"Oh, come on, dude! It'll be fun!"
I didn't really have an interest in going, but I know it'd make Shae happy, plus it'd be nice to hang out with Tyler again even if we've only known each other for a couple months.
"...Fine. But, if Chris or any of his buddies start shit, I'm leaving."
"Awesome!"
"Lemme just call Tyler and let him know," I said as I grabbed my phone and flipped it open, finding Tyler in my contact list and dialling.
"You gonna bring him with-" The phone rings a few times before he picks up and I extend my hand out towards Shae in a shushing motion. She rolls her eyes, smirking.
"Hey? So are ya gonna go?" He said eagerly.
"Well, Shae showed up at my door literally right after you messaged me, asking the same thing!" I exclaimed in a fake-preppy voice. "So, I guess I have no choice since she'll probably just drag me there if I say no," I joked. She nods her head toward me in response.
"Oh, is she going too?" He inquired.
"Yeah, I guess so! Your place is kinda on the way to Chris', so we could probably meet you at your place and go from there."
"Yeah! Sounds good!" He quickly responded.
I laughed, "Okay, we'll call you when we get there?"
"Sure thing!"
We exchanged our farewells, and hung up. The party wasn't for at least another hour or two, so Shae and I had some time to burn, of which I was entirely out of ideas. I figured I could at least spend this time actually being productive, so I grabbed my laptop and continued on writing my English essay as Shae resumed her previous conversation topic of stuff at school that was pissing her off. It was pretty entertaining, to be fair. She was telling me about how Chris had gotten in a fight with this other kid in our grade yesterday after class, which I wasn't lucky enough to witness, but it was obviously all anyone would talk about for basically the entire day today so word spread around fast. The part I hadn't heard about was that both Chris and the other guy, Nathan, got suspended for a week because of it. Chris was generally an asshole to everybody, including myself, so I didn't feel too bad about that. Although, I didn't know Nathan all that well. Other than having a few classes together, I don't think I've ever held an actual conversation with the guy. I think it was safe to assume that Chris was the one who started it, and Shae seemed to agree with me, even though she hadn't seen the fight either.
"But, apparently Nathan's gonna show up tonight!" She exclaimed coyly.
"...Remind me again why you want me to go to this specific party?"
"You'll have a great time! It's not like we'll be involved in the drama anyway so think of it more as entertainment!"
"I think you and I have different definitions of the word 'entertainment'," I joked.
"I'm sure you can go run off somewhere with Tyler if you're not having fun," She said, her tone reminding me of my mom.
"Oh yeah? What about you?"
"I can't just leave Alex at a party with Chris, those two start shit between each other so much and I'd rather not deal with the aftermath of that today."
"I'm guessing it's safe to assume that Elliot's going too, then?"
"He's not big on parties, but he'll usually go if everyone else is, unlike somebody," She says, gesturing towards me.
"Good one," I reply, unmoving as I keep typing away at my assignment.
"Well, we should probably leave soon since we're stopping at Tyler's place on the way.
I saved the document I had been working on, closing my laptop. "Sounds good to me!"
---
"I can't believe you actually agreed to go." Tyler joked as we walked towards the road from his house.
"Yeah, me either." I replied. I definitely didn't put in any effort in dressing up for the party, opting for a snug space-themed graphic tee, along with black jeans and a white zip-up hoodie. Shae and Tyler both stand on opposite sides of me as we walk down the sidewalk.
"Luckily I learned the subtle techniques in convincing you to do things against your better judgement, so now you get to have fun for once!" Shae exclaimed.
"It's not my fault that going to a party is literally the last thing on earth I'd do for fun in any normal situation." I retorted, putting my hands in the pockets of my jacket.
"Oh yeah? And what do you consider a 'normal situation'?" Shae asks.
"Any situation where you guys aren't the ones trying to get me to go! I'm only doing this for you two, y'know." I said, looking over at both of them.
"What about Elliot and Alex?" Tyler chimed in.
"They aren't the ones asking me to go to this party." I sarcastically remarked, trying to keep the conversation light-hearted. "Speaking of the party- this is Chris we're talking about, there's gonna be beer, right?"
"Uh, duh?" Shae replied.
"Yeah, that's a definite no for me, I'm already enough of a disappointment to my parents,"
"No one's making you drink, Jake. At least you'd be safe if some old hag called the cops about the noise." Shae said.
"I think at that point we're guilty by association, so we'd just make a run for it if that happens," Tyler joked.
"Dude, the chance of me outrunning a police officer successfully is about as likely as me not wanting to punch Chris tonight."
"And the chance of you winning that fight is just as low!" Shae retorted, Tyler laughing in response.
"I specifically said 'want' because of that very reason!"
"Wow, I'd pay money to see you fight that guy." Tyler said, nudging his elbow into my side.
It isn't a secret that I'm not exactly athletic. I mean, I'm definitely not weak, but fighting basically any animal of a similar size to mine was not a situation that favoured my victory.
"That sounds more like just getting the shit kicked outta me for your entertainment." I remarked, lightly punching Tyler's shoulder in return.
"Absolutely worth every penny!" Shae exclaimed. Luckily, the place wasn't any more than ten minutes away from Tyler's place, so I didn't have to endure listening to these two talk about me getting beat up for much longer.
We finally make it to Chris' house, and I'm suddenly filled with an impending sense of regret. Obviously, my parents would never in a million years agree to me going to a party like this. As far as they know, I'm just spending the evening hanging out with Shae at Tyler's house. So yeah, this entire night had a lot of potential for disaster.
Shae can clearly see my hesitation, because she grabs my hand, leading me up the walkway, Tyler following closely behind.
"I wonder if Elliot and Alex beat us here?" She says, knocking on the front door.
"I doubt they had anything to do earlier, hell they probably came straight here after school, knowing Alex." I said, laughing.
Our conversation is cut short by the opening door, revealing the familiar black cat.
"Oh, look, the Stephenson kid brought his girlfriend!" Chris exclaimed mockingly, looking back into the house, before peering around my shoulder, "And... Tyler?" He said, inquisitively.
I lean over, blocking Tyler from his line of sight, "Yeah, hey, not dating by the way!" I said. I've known Shae since I first moved to Vestige, around the time I turned five years old, so it wasn't uncommon for rumours to go around that we were dating. I've always thought of her more as a sister, if anything.
"I asked them to come!" Tyler said. That was only partly true, but according to Tyler, they've been 'somewhat-friends' for quite a while now, so saying that would at least mean less mild-harassment from Chris for tonight.
"Oh, uh, okay... come on in! But you're on the hook for any shit they pull, Tyler!" He said, opening the door wider.
---
The party had been going on for a few hours at this point. I could recognize most of the animals here from school, but not enough to actually hold a conversation with any of them, so most of my time here had just been spent with Shae and Tyler. The place hasn't been incredibly crowded luckily, but there were easily about forty others in this part of the house alone. I'm assuming only high school grades were invited, but there were a considerable number of students to meet that requirement. The issue at hand for me, other than how crowded this place is, is that both Shae and Tyler ditched me to go... somewhere? I think Shae saw some of her friends and went somewhere with them, but Tyler was pretty secretive about where he was going, only telling me that he'd be back in a bit. So I've been standing here in this random corner of the house with a drink in hand, trying to make myself look busy and not awkward, which is exactly why I didn't want to go to this party in the first place!
"Jake!" A voice shouted from a ways away.
I turn my head in confusion, revealing Alex, walking towards me from across the room.
"Oh, Alex! Hey! What's up dude!" I finish the last bit of my soda, waving at him. Because this was Chris' party, there was obviously beer too, but I didn't feel like coming home drunk and my parents finding out.
"I didn't think you'd wanna come to something like this! Feeling the regret yet?"
"I like parties! It's the times like these when I'm standing in a corner by myself with nothing to do that I hate, which seems to happen every time I go to a party!" I exclaimed, pausing for a moment. "Okay, maybe I do hate parties- I've had to explain this so many times today I'm about ready to jump into Lake Ambuscade."
' "Wow, sounds like somebody needs to socialize instead of stewing in a corner for the rest of the night!"
"Socialize? Really? I know just about everybody here and just about none of them are worth talking-"
"Hang with me and Elliot, then? Justin set up some racing games in the other room, we were gonna join, but we could use a fourth... You in?" He said, his tone obviously trying to sound coercing.
"God, please, anything to get me out of this corner for the next three hours." I said, Alex returning my words with a laugh.
"Well, come on then! We'll have to hurry if we want to get one of the good controllers!" He exclaimed, motioning to follow him.
As we move through the various cliques, I recognize a few faces here and there, though not enough to actually want to talk to them. There's been music playing since we got here, and I have yet to recognize a single song, they all seem to be some form of drone-y bass-heavy music that I can't say I've heard in any normal situations. I'm doing my best to follow Alex, although he keeps weaving between the other animals faster than I can keep up, resulting in me having to shove past everyone near me in an effort to speed myself up. Luckily, it seems that no one notices me anyway.
When we arrive in the other room, it seems to just be another living room, but decorated with a galore of punk band posters, shelves holding more DVD cases than I would ever care to count, and even a mini-fridge. Maybe Chris is the type to have a 'man cave' or something? Just hearing that phrase almost makes me want to vomit, but there aren't any more accurate words that come to mind. The room isn't massive or anything, but the TV resting upon the wall across the room seems to challenge that idea, looking almost eighty inches in size. Luckily no randoms from the party were in here, sitting about ten feet away from the TV is Elliot, leaning back in a purple bean bag chair that seems almost three times bigger than him, and Justin, the cougar I'd only known slightly through Alex, laying down sideways on the couch directly in front of the gigantic screen.
"Whatttt! You took the bean bag chair? Lameee..." Alex whined.
"You're the one who wanted to go get Jake, you snooze you lose!" Elliot retorted, looking oddly proud of himself.
"Damn, wish I had a room like this at my house..." I mumbled, looking around the room.
"Are we gonna play or what?" Justin said, cutting through the momentary silence.
"Duh!" Alex claimed.
Justin sits up, taking the spot on the couch closest to Elliot. I opt for the leftmost seat, and Alex sits in-between the both of us. Elliot grabs the other three controllers and tosses them over at us, one by one. Luckily, there weren't any garbage third-party controllers, so at least none of us would have to deal with that. I will admit, it did feel kinda weird going to someone's party just to play games away from everybody, but I would be lying if I said I didn't prefer that, even though I rarely play games, if ever.
After Justin turns the console on, he goes through the menus, launching the game. I can't say I recognize the title, but it seems to be a pretty standard racing game. He goes into the custom mode, opting for a four-player split-screen match, choosing 'R1' as the category of cars to race in. As everyone chooses their cars, I scroll through the list, not really knowing what to pick. I've never been good with car stuff, so I pick an 'Aston Martin Lola' just based on the number-rating system the game ranks the cars with.
"You guys ready?" Justin asks.
"Oh yeah, get ready to eat my dust you guys!" Elliot exclaims, challengingly.
"Oddly prideful words for someone about to lose!" Alex replies, laughing.
The countdown begins, as the cameras slowly show the view of each car as it moves to the rear. When it starts, I somehow manage the fuckup of spinning my tires out, leaving me a few seconds behind the others as the car swerves back and forth. I curse under my breath as I try to regain control of the car, and swiftly pick up speed. The track seems like nothing I haven't seen before, a typical professional track, with rows and rows of audience seating to the side. Unfortunately, I'm now in last place. The next few moments of the track are a few quick corners, allowing me the chance to catch up, at least a little.
Unexpectedly, the track turns off of the main road, going into a forested area. The road is considerably more narrow at this point, so it takes a conscious effort to not drive into the trees by the asphalt. It looks like the road stretches on forever, as I still can't make out any upcoming turns. I guess the car I chose for the race had a better top speed than Justin's, as I'm quickly catching up to him, moving into third place. I'm gripping my controller to an uncomfortable degree, but I can't seem to relax the tension as I try to make my way into second place. I don't think I can pick up any more speed in this car, so me moving up is reliant on the road staying straight for just a bit longer. After what feels like a lifetime, the front of my car finally starts making it past Elliot's, then the midsection, and finally, I'm in second. The sound of all four car engines is drowning out any remnants of the video game music, and I feel the sudden urge to curse out whoever turned the TV volume up this high. My eyes are focused entirely on Alex's car as I make my final push into first place. If I were actually driving this fast in the real world, I'd be scared out of my fucking mind. Out of nowhere, Alex, and the others, begins to slow down considerably.
Oh fuck.
It's at that point I notice that there is a sharp right turn rapidly approaching. I've been pushing the top-speed of this car since the beginning of this stretch of road, and now I'm going too quickly to stop in time. What's the button to use the handbrake, again? I figure that the only way for me to not fuck up this race for myself is to try to drift around the corner. Considering I've never played this game before, it's going to prove to be a challenge. But, it's either that, or just ending up in dead-last again.
I hold down the A button, and pull the joystick as far to the right as possible. Suddenly, all I can hear from the game is the loud skidding sounds of my tires against the asphalt. To my surprise, I cut the corner a bit early, now going over the grass. I try to do a bit of directional-corrections and start heading back onto the track. Going over the grass definitely slowed me down a fair bit, but it definitely was a significantly better outcome over just crashing into the wall. And, to my surprise, the corner of my screen reads... first?!?
"How the fuck...?" Alex questions, seemingly in disbelief.
"I wish I could tell you." I replied, eyes wide at whatever the fuck just happened.
The distance I managed to gain on Alex isn't by a whole lot, but there's only about a quarter of the track left before we reach the finish line, so I have a chance at winning this. The track hurriedly changes from the forest as it reenters the main track. The long, straight roads seem to end as the road becomes a slow series of sharp turns, never giving me the opportunity to get back up to speed. It seems like the high top speed was my only advantage, because at every corner we take, I turn my camera around, revealing the other cars inching closer and closer to me.
I can see the finish line on the mini-map, just a few more turns away. I know that I'm not gonna be able to distance myself from Alex and the others at this point, so my only feasible strategy is to keep moving, cutting the corners as fast as I can, and getting to the finish line before they can pass me. Unfortunately, Alex's car seems to be getting too close for comfort now, meaning I might have to take some risks to ensure I can stay in first. As we approach the final turn, leading into the finish line, I realise I'm gonna have to try to drift this corner. I can feel my pointer finger practically cracking the plastic on the controller from the amount of pressure I'm putting on the right trigger. In a final plea to win, I push down on the A button, pulling the handbrake. The car starts to smoothly skid around the corner. Luckily, there are barriers on the sides of the road this time, preventing me from sliding onto the grass. To my surprise, the drift seems to work better than expected. That is, until, like the fucking idiot I am, make a slight overcorrection towards the left barriers as I exit the drift. I managed to avoid driving directly into the wall, but it did slow me down a bit.
Alex is immediately behind me, and I put all of my strength into accelerating towards the finish line. I'd be fucked if I broke the controller, cause I can't really afford the fifty dollars to buy a new one, but winning this race is more important to me at the moment. The finish line is only about five-hundred metres away, and Alex is slowly beginning to pass. All I can do at this point is push the gas as much as I can, and pray that I can cross the finish line before he can get back into first place. The finish line gets closer and closer, and it seems like it's gonna be too close for me to accurately tell the winner. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest from how stressful this fucking game has been, and now, we're about to find out whose efforts paid off. As each car makes its way over the finish line, each of our dedicated sections of the screen turns to slow motion. When it's finally over, the text fades in on each screen, revealing our place...
...
...
...Second?!?
"FUCK!" I shouted, realising I had been holding my breath since the final stretch of the race.
"HA! Dude, you suck!" Alex exclaimed, playfully shoving me.
"I think that was the most effort I've put into anything in my life." I said, setting my controller on the coffee table in front of me.
"Wow, that's dramatic," Justin remarked.
"Yeah, that's the usual for Jake," Elliot replied, laughing.
"You probably woulda won if you picked a better car, dude. That track was way too close-quarters so you should've gone with a car with better acceleration." Alex said.
"Wha- do you own this game?" I questioned, looking accusatory.
"...Yeah? It came out a few months ago, pretty popular right now." He replied.
"Ugh, this is what I get for playing with a bunch of gamers." I exclaimed, applying a disgusted tone to the last word.
"Not my fault you only play like one game a month!" Alex joked.
"Even then, I was like this close to beating you anyway!" I said, gesturing a minuscule distance between my thumb and pointer finger.
A voice interrupts our argument, coming from right outside the room, "Uh huh...
...
Really? That's bullshit! Come on...
...
Dude, give me a couple of days, I'll make it right!
...
Yeah, I swear."
It seems that we all stopped talking to listen in at the same time. "That sounds like Tyler... who's he arguing with?" Elliot asked. I can't make out the voice of whoever he's talking to, it just sounds like mumbling.
They seem to pause for a moment, and the sound of a single set of footsteps can be heard.
"Fuck..." Tyler says to himself, still out of view.
"...I should probably see what's up, you guys can keep playing without me." I say, getting up from my spot on the couch.
"Yeah, you do that! Less competition for me," Alex exclaims, laughing to himself.
"Hey, I can still beat your ass at this game, I know exactly which car to pick this time!" Elliot argued.
"Yeah, right! Guess we'll find out!"
I leave as the three start up another game, kind of glad I don't have to have another near-heart attack from playing again. When I get back into the dimly-lit hallway, Tyler is nowhere to be seen.
I look around, heading into the main room of the house to see if I can spot him. It's pretty difficult to see anything, because of how dim it is here, plus the sheer amount of animals crowding up the place. Despite that, I manage to spot the Grey Wolf a ways away, hurrying quickly into the bathroom.
As I shove my way through a few groups of teens, I almost fall over a few times, gaining confused stares from a few in the room. I lightly knock on the bathroom door, waiting for a response, "Hey, you okay Tyler?" After a few moments, I'm returned with no answer, "...Tyler-" Before I can finish my sentence, Tyler swiftly pulls open the bathroom door, pulling me in and shutting the door behind me, before sitting down on the side of the bathtub. As I'm about to say something, I hear the sound of him sniffling.
...Is he crying?
He's looking towards the floor, so I can't confirm it visually, but the sound definitely gives it away.
"Whoa, what's wrong? Did something happen?" I asked worriedly, not yet choosing to bring up the argument we overheard.
There's a few seconds of silence as he tries to bring himself together, not very successfully. "I- I... I don't- I don't think I can-"
"It's fine, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I tried to reassure him. He raises his head for a moment to look at me, trying to find words to say, instead opting to go back to crying, head in his hands. I've never been good with situations like this, so I sit down next to him, putting my hand on his upper back, softly patting.
"I'm sorry- I'm a fucking idiot. I shouldn't have asked you to come."
"Hey! I've been having fun! Don't worry about me, it seems like you're the one who shouldn't have come." I joke, in some effort to lighten the mood.
Shit, was that inconsiderate of me to say?
To my surprise, he manages to let out a light laugh, "Yeah, I'm starting to realise that."
"...Do you wanna leave, then? They know I didn't want to go here in the first place, so you could just say you're being nice and walking me home." I didn't know if he would actually take up that offer, but I know some guys have a weird thing about not wanting to seem 'uncool' and leaving a party early was definitely considered that.
He thinks for a moment, still sniffling pretty noticeably. "...okay, just- give me a minute, I don't want to go out there looking like this." He mumbles, looking towards the door.
"Yeah, that's fine." I said, continuing to rub around his neck area.
This definitely wasn't how I expected the night to go. But it was a sort of 'two-birds-with-one-stone' kind of situation. I get to help out Tyler, which is usually the other way around, I get to leave early, and hopefully Shae stops bugging me about going to parties, at least for a while.
Now that I think about it, that analogy is pretty messed up.
A few silent minutes go by as I sit next to the still-crying Tyler, waiting for him to recollect himself. Even though he hasn't actually said anything here, in the two months I've known him, this is probably the most vulnerable I've ever seen him. When I first met him, it was pretty accurate to describe him as the kind of guy who acts like he never feels emotion. Hell, even I refuse to be open about my feelings, but most of my friends see through that nowadays. Even now, I don't really understand why I do that. I guess it's just easier to not talk about shit like that? Is that why Tyler does it?
"I think I'm good now," He said, shaking his hands as he stood up.
"Okay, let's get out of this dumpster fire." I sarcastically remarked. Tyler shot me a confused look in return. "Whatever, let's just go."
I open the bathroom door, grabbing his arm as I lead him out into the main room. Almost immediately the voice of a certain black cat perks up behind us.
"Oh? And what did you two get up to in there?" Chris remarked, laughing, "I didn't know you guys were THAT kind of friends!"
God damnit. This stupid fucking feline.
"Yeah, it's too loud out here for me, I needed a break, he came with." I explained, Tyler standing closely behind me with a confused look on his face. Just roll with it, dude, I think to myself, knowing I probably shouldn't say that out loud.
"You know, I would believe that, but normal guys actually just go outside when they need a break." He replied.
"Well, hey! That's where we're going right now, so it all checks out!" I say in the bitchiest voice I can muster.
"Heh, sure thing, Jake." He said, sounding weirdly satisfied with himself. I didn't want to spend any more time in this fucking house than I needed to, especially while talking to Chris, so I continue on, pulling Tyler by the hand towards the exit. After a few moments, we make it to the front door. I promptly open it and we both head outside.
We're immediately greeted by the light of the moon and the starry sky as we head down the walkway toward the street. One of the few benefits of living in such a backwater town was the absence of any significant light pollution. I've been to Portland a few times for school field trips and such, and seeing the sheer difference in visible stars was absolutely staggering. I could only imagine what it would be like to go stargazing in the middle of nowhere.
"At least it's a nice night out." I said.
"Yeah..." Tyler replied, his mind clearly in a completely different place.
"I should probably tell Shae where we went, so she doesn't freak out trying to find us back there." I joked, pulling out my cell phone. Texting on my flip phone was an arduous task, but I didn't want to call her, so I had not much of a choice.
I send the text, and close my phone, returning it to my pocket. As we walk down the road, we stew in the silence, the only auditory sounds coming from the party still close by, and the local crickets chirping.
I won't lie, as much as I usually appreciate quiet, this is the loudest silence I've ever been stuck in. It goes on for more than five minutes. I could tell he wanted to say something, and I was eager to find out whatever was going on that started this in the first place. But, like the coward I am, I try to lighten the mood.
"Hopefully that satisfied your quota of me going to parties with you for a while, cause I do not plan on having the energy for something like that again for at least a few months." I said, awkwardly laughing. He doesn't respond, at least for a while, as he raises his hand, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "...Uhh, are you sure you don't wanna talk about it? I mean-"
"Can I tell you something?" He interrupted, his voice still cracking like it was in the bathroom.
"...Sure?" I replied, slightly confused.
"It's just that- I don't really know- like what-"
"-to say? Just think for a minute. No rush." That's what my dad always says whenever my mind spirals. I used to be really anxious, although I've been getting better at controlling my thoughts in the past few years.
When I went to text Shae a few minutes ago, my phone's clock read 9:48 PM. I'm supposed to be home at ten and we're still at least twenty minutes away, not even including the detour we'll take to get to Tyler's place. Which brings me to the realisation that, when we get to his house, I'm gonna have to walk the rest of the way home by myself, in the dark. If I get murdered by some serial killer this late at night I'm gonna fucking haunt Shae from the afterlife-
"I think I'm gay," He quickly says, his voice holding a noticeable increase in energy compared to what I've been used to tonight.
Well... can't say that's exactly what I was expecting. Was I expecting anything in particular? I honestly don't know anymore. His words took me by surprise, my brain is kind of scrambled right now. I look over at him - he's looking back at me, probably trying to gauge my reaction. I did my best to conceal any facial reaction, but it's pretty clear that my lack of a response is starting to become noticeable.
"...You... think?"
"Well, like- I don't know. I guess I've just been thinking for a while, and it makes sense... all things considered." He replied anxiously.
"That- That's great! Does anyone else know?"
"I only really realised a few weeks ago, so... no. But compared to anyone else, I probably trust you the most to not like- tell anyone?" He said, looking over at me again.
"Well, I appreciate the completely undeserved confidence you have in me," I joked, realising too late that now probably isn't the time for that, "Yeah, I promise I won't tell anyone."
"Thank you," He replies, a genuine smile strewn across his face.
A few minutes go by as we walk down the road, absorbing the positive energy we created. Having only known Tyler for a little over two months, it definitely surprised me knowing that he trusted me more than anyone else to keep a secret like that... I mean, despite the short amount of time since I met him, I'm as close to him as I've been to Shaela for the past eight years. Maybe even closer? I barely even tell Shae about my actual problems, at least the non-surface level stuff. So yeah, I guess it makes sense that he would trust me with something so important, I know I would absolutely trust him if it were me in that situation.
"...So, do you think you're gonna tell your dad?"
He didn't say anything for a moment as he stared down at the ground beneath him, "I'll probably have to tell him soon, if he has to find out from some asshole that isn't me it'd make it ten times more difficult than if I just said it myself."
I agreed, and we let the conversation cut itself off as we finally approached Tyler's house. I followed him up the walkway and stood on the patio, making sure he actually got inside. He tries the doorknob eagerly, to no avail. Realising that it was locked, he reaches into his pocket for his key - again, to no avail.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," Tyler mumbled under his breath, clearly done with tonight. All of the lights were off in the house, signalling that his dad was not awake.
"Maybe you'll wake him up if you knock? Then he can let you in."
"Nonono, he thinks I'm staying at your place! If he finds out I went to a party I'm in deep shit," He whispered.
Of course. If I had to lie to my parents, why would I expect anything different from anyone else?
"Okay, uhh... maybe we can make that lie... not a lie?" I said, sounding weirder than I'd like.
Tyler looked at me, confused for a moment, eyes widening as he realised what I meant, "I can't let you do that, I've already forced you through too much shit tonight."
"Oh, come on, of course you can sleep at my place for the night! My parents think I'm at your house right now, so I can just tell them that we both went over there early in the morning. They love you anyway, so it won't be a problem!"
He didn't move at all, still looking reluctant, "Are you sure it won't be... weird? I don't want to put you in an awkward situation cause of w- what I told you."
"Dude, that couch in my room has a hide-a-bed if you don't want to share mine. Either way, we're friends, aren't we? I trust you."
After a few moments of silence, he speaks up, "...I guess so-"
"Great, then it's settled!" I said, putting my arm around his shoulder as I led him back down the walkway.
---
Once we make it to my place, walk up the creaky wooden steps of my patio as I fish the house key out of my pocket. Tyler's standing closely behind me, looking awkward as ever, clearly not knowing what to do with his hands as he switches between putting them in his pockets and clasping them together.
I turn the key on the lock and try the door, noticing that It's completely pitch black inside the house. My parents usually go to bed at 10 PM, and it was well past that at this point. I lock the door behind us as I reach for my pocket, grabbing my phone and flipping it open to use as a barely-useful flashlight. I take Tyler's wrist as I lead him through the furniture of my living room and up the stairs. The only sounds in the house come from the soft ticking of a clock in the kitchen, the sound of which has always freaked me out whenever I'd come downstairs at three in the morning. Despite my best efforts to be as quiet as possible, the old wooden boards of the stairs prove my effort to be futile as they creak with every step. I can only hope that both of my parents have fallen asleep by now, or else they'd definitely have heard us. As I take Tyler down the hallway, walls strung with various family photos and art fit for a motel, I hear no sounds coming from the master bedroom, relaxing some of my tension.
Once we make it to my room, I breathe a sigh of relief as I turn on the overhead light, hoping my mom doesn't find out and try to lecture me in the morning, "Okay, hide-a-bed or mine, your choice!"
"Hide-a-bed." He replies.
"Sure thing, lemme show you how to set it up," I say as I remove each couch cushion one by one. The couch is sitting directly under my massive bedroom window, illuminated by the glow of the moon. Under the cushions is a black folded-up contraption, bearing a metal handle. I grab the handle and start pulling the bed out from the couch. As the first section of the bed comes out, Tyler stands next to me and helps unfold the second section, and finally the third.
I move over to open the closet door, "I have some spare pillows and blankets in here."
"So, why do you have a spare bed... thingy... in your room anyway?" He asked.
"My cousins' family came to visit from the other side of the country a few years back, so my parents made the cousins stay in my room and gave me our old couch that used to be in the living room. They were here for like two weeks, it was fucking awful," I remarked, pulling a comforter out of the closet and unfolding it out on the mattress.
"That sounds miserable," Tyler sympathized.
"It was, but hey, now I got a sick as fuck couch in my room! And it works as a great place for certain friends to sleep when they wanna spend the night," I said sarcastically, looking over at Tyler as I grabbed the pillows from the closet, tossing them to one end of the bed.
He turned his head, baffled, "Was that a dig on me?" He questioned.
"Depends on how you took it I suppose," I replied, smiling cunningly.
"You're the one who offered, dude- are you sure you didn't drink at the party? You've at least doubled your usual level of sarcasm." He retorted.
"Nope, unless somebody spiked my soda!" I joked, but the realisation slowly set in, "Oh shit- maybe someone spiked my soda?!?"
"Don't freak out, I seriously doubt someone would spike your drink,"
"God, I hope so, if my parents found out I went to that party, that'd be one thing, but if I got drunk? I doubt I'd see the outside world for months," I sighed.
"Even if you were drunk, it's not like you would still be drunk in the morning for them to find out, anyway."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," I said, letting out a yawn shortly thereafter. "Fuck, I didn't realise how tired I am." Looking at my alarm clock, it was 10:37 PM. That wasn't terribly late, I've definitely stayed up later when there was an assignment due the next day that I forgot about, but even before I met up with Alex and Elliot, that party was just wearing me down. "At least I can sleep in 'till like noon tomorrow. You sure you don't need anything before I pass out from exhaustion?"
"No, I'm okay, I think. And, thank you... Jake." He replied, smiling at me.
"No problem, dude!" I quietly exclaimed as I turned off the bedroom lights and hopped into bed. I can practically feel my muscles dissolve as I lean into the mattress, pulling the heavy blankets over me as I close my eyes.
I can't help but feel something itching in the back of my brain. I never did find out why Tyler was even crying back at the party. Was it related to what he told me after? He sounded pretty upset when he was talking to whoever it was in the hallway, too, so maybe that was why? We've already talked about so much shit tonight, though, and I definitely did not have the energy to have another huge conversation about something like that. It could definitely wait until tomorrow.
Soon, I feel my consciousness drift away, the only sound I can make out being the slow breathing of Tyler, across the room.
---
As I wake up, I'm blinded by the bright sun shining in through my windows, directly into my eyes. I glance over at my alarm clock, feeling incredibly groggy and sore, noticing that it's 11:13 AM. Usually, the latest I'd sleep in on weekends was only around ten, but I guess it took a lot of my energy yesterday to try to tune the party out. At least it's over.
I slowly sit up, yawning as I lean back against the bed frame. I glanced around the room, noticing that the hide-a-bed had been folded back into the couch, Tyler nowhere to be seen. I reach over to my bedside table to check my phone, finding an unread text from him, sent a few hours ago.
Tyler: hey
woke up early, figured youd want 2 sleep in.
will call u later, might have somthin big i wanna share, will see
A pair of oddly cryptic messages. Guess that confirms he isn't here anymore.
At least it was a Saturday, meaning that I had full permission to be a slob. I get out of bed, deciding to skip my usual shower until after breakfast. Other than the snacks that were out at the party, I ate practically nothing last night. I could almost feel my stomach turning itself inside out, so I hurried out of my room and downstairs to the kitchen to have some breakfast.
The first thing I notice when I get downstairs is my mom, sitting on the couch with a book. I head straight to the kitchen, trying not to make myself stand out.
"Jake! Finally woken up, I see." She remarked, still looking at her book.
"Hey, mom!" There's a moment of silence as I grab a bowl out of the cupboard, as well as a box of cereal, and begin to pour.
She speaks up, "Your friend, Tyler, seemed to be in a hurry to leave this morning, anything I should know about?"
"...Not that I know of? Like what?" I questioned as I poured some milk from the fridge, grabbed a spoon, and sat at the kitchen counter.
"Well, it's not like we didn't notice that you weren't home by ten like your father asked you to be, so obviously you must have a good excuse for why you didn't at least call to let us know you'd be late?" She replied. I could tell when she started talking all responsible-parent-like, it meant that she was gonna lecture me about something.
I sighed, thinking of the right thing to say. "...Well, Tyler was going through some things... so I was trying to help him with that, I guess. Time just kinda flew by and I wasn't able to get home 'till later."
"So he spent the night here? Weren't you at his house?" She asked as I ate a spoonful of cereal.
"Yeah... we went out for a bit and once I noticed how late it was I offered to let him spend the night at our house since it was closer," I said. Almost entirely a lie, but definitely preferable to the truth.
"Jake..." She said, setting her book down on the coffee table in front of the couch, walking over to me, and resting a hand on my shoulder. "You're sixteen now, obviously we don't expect you to tell us everything you're up to nowadays. But we worry about you! I worry about you. Just for future reference, please let us know if you're gonna be home late or anything like that."
"Okay, I'll keep that in mind," I said, looking up at her.
"Great! Now, I have to go meet a friend for lunch, please try not to burn the house down while I'm out!" She said as she grabbed her purse and keys off of the counter, hurring out the door.
"No promises, love you!" I said as she closed the door behind her.
Well, I guess that went... better than expected? I doubt she believed that story I made up, but I guess as long as I don't break curfew without telling them, I should be fine.
Having the house to myself wasn't totally uncommon. Considering my dad was gone during the day five days a week, and my mom would head out to go meet friends or run errands pretty often, I got some much needed alone time often enough to not go mad.
As I finish my bowl of cereal, I realise that I probably should go shower as soon as possible, considering the night I had. I put my bowl and spoon in the dishwasher and head back upstairs. I grab a towel from my room and head into the bathroom, grabbing my various fur care products out of the cabinet for after the shower. As I turn the shower on, I hear the sound of my ringtone going off in the pocket of my pants on the floor. I sigh annoyedly, walking over and trying to figure out which pocket my phone was in. When I flip open the phone, the Caller ID reads out Tyler's name.
"Tyler! What's up?" I ask eagerly, hoping to find out what the news he cryptically texted about was.
"Jake- fuck, I messed up, I shouldn't have- what am I gonna do?" He said anxiously, sounding almost out of breath.
"Hey! Slow down, what's wrong?" I questioned.
"I'm such a fucking idiot! Why did I think this would be a good idea? Jake, I'm so sorry-"
"Tyler! Calm. Down. Just take a few deep breaths," I said. After a few moments, I can hear his breathing steadying on the other side of the call. "Okay, good. Now, what's wrong?"
There's a short pause as he tries to find the right words to say. It sounds like he's been crying. What even the fuck has been the past twenty-four hours?
"Can- do you think I could crash at y- your place for a few more nights? I don't know what to do."
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I remember reading a fic, it was bottom Alec admittedly, but one of the things that stuck with me was how it mentioned that he didn't bottom often because it was overwhelming. Which then got me thinking about autistic Alec and sensory overload and maybe that's a thing you'd find interesting and put your own spin on? I don't know.
jsbsisnsisnssjdn i love how u guys always come to me and talk about bottom alec like it's the greatest sin you've ever partaken in udbdudndudndid really its fine, i mean its not my preference or hc but to each their own
anyway! i did like this question a lot and i tried to think a little about how autism and kink might intersect for alec specifically
tbh idk if i can give a good take on that because- im a bottom, so jdndudbdidnd. i mean of course I've topped but i think it's fundamentally different to top when thats something that you actually enjoy. like not that i dread topping and just the thought of it makes me cry or something but the pleasure i derive from it is...... way less. and more focused on the other parts of it that arent the act of topping itself
so due to that, i dont really know how topping, like, feels? if it's something that actively gets u hot and that u find enjoyable. so idk if bottoming is truly more overwhelming than topping, like. one of my partners is a Top™ and i think he gets as lost in topping as i get in bottoming, its exciting for him, just thinking about it Does Things to him you know xD and admittedly this partner in particular is a very intense person, with everything, but either way he does seem to feel topping and sex as a top and the pleasure he gets from that very intensely, so idk if it would be accurate to say that bottoming is more overwhelming. i think it depends on a lot of things, including the kind of play ur into - like if ur into denial or overstimulation and the such, definitely, but u dont necessarily are into them just because ur a bottom or even a sub (which, u know, are different things)
and my partners who are verses/switches say that it's different but not really more or less intense. just different
but definitely as a dom you get more control of the sensations, at least touch-wise (not much you can really do about noise, smell etc) so there's that. i also think that for autistic ppl theres frequently that feeling of not having a lot of control over ur life and how ur perceived, understood, etc, so domming can get particularly interesting/pleasurable in that sense. on the other hand, there's also the relief of subbing and getting clear instructions and just completely focusing on the tasks u have. or maybe that's my sub agenda. idk
either way i think being autistic wouldnt really sway anyone in either direction (being kinky or not, top or bottom, sub or dom, being into specific kinks etc) but im not an expert, maybe im wrong lol
but well, if you wanna talk specifically about autistic alec who also happens to be a dom/top and how he experiences that, a few things i think could be interesting:
domspace and hyperfocus: like because everything is so intense, the two can feel kind of similar? you know you get into domspace and it’s like, everything is so centered in the moment, but in like the best way possible? i imagine that for him reaching domspace is kind of even more intense than usual (not in a like... Lost In The Sauce way, where he can’t be aware properly, but it’s just, it’s extra good and it makes him feel grounded and present and like the noise in his head shuts up? he’s just focused on pleasuring his sub everything else kind of melts away and it’s basically just that. great intense pleasure and almost calm feeling, you know? i mean again i’m not a dom but. it’s what i imagine/have heard it feels like i guess)
sensorial issues: adjacent to last one i guess but just like reaching domspace and domming and the pleasure he derives from it kind of muffles the sensorial issues? again because he’s so focused and like, immersed in the feeling it all kind of disappears. also i mean, sex includes a lot of movement so yay to that! especially as i dom i think, if bondage for example is involved. and even if there’s like, a lot of touch and noise and stuff (again, magnus Screams) he kinda has control (again, especially as a dom) of how much stimuli there is and he gets and the fact that he derives pleasure from the noises, touches, etc kind of helps muffle them, if that makes sense? because the inside feelings overpower the outside feelings lmao and it’s like that sensation of floating and domspace and shit makes the actual physical sensations less acute sometimes. at least as a sub i do feel that way sometimes, like the pleasure gets so psychological and great i can’t really feel sensations, just the pleasure itself? so it’s like, id have to focus to be able to tell where exactly my partner is touching me, all i know is that it Feels Very Good. idk if that makes sense, it’s hard to put in words 
feeling in control: i mean i feel like alec feels like he doesn’t have a lot of control over his life (look i know that he’s now in a position of power but even then, like, he’s always having to fight the people above them, you know? and he’s questioned at every damn minute because of his relationship. and for most of his life, he was trained to be a pawn, to the clave and to his parents, and hell, he couldn’t even control who he would marry. most of the time alec is fighting tooth and nail to be listened to, he doesn’t really get easy obedience and i definitely don’t think that he feels like he has a lot of control most of the time, which is why being a dom appeals to him, too. don’t get me wrong i’m not saying he isn’t damn competent and important because if he weren’t he wouldn’t have gotten where he is right now, but he’s not really in a position where everything is in his hands. especially with how much he has to endure and swallow up in his life. i see a lot of meta that’s like “alec’s a sub because he needs to let go of the control” and stuff, and while again, to each their own, i feel like this argument doesn’t really hold up when you look at how much he has to fight to be listened to, and that’s why it’s very appealing to have someone just, obey, and feel like the world is in the palm of his hands, not slipping away? that’s a very long parenthesis. and like not that you need to have a Very Deep Psychological Reason to be into kink but usually those things are linked in some sort of way). and the fact that he’s autistic plays into this, because so much of what he feels just has to be overlooked? he’s always having so suppress and/or deal with overload and the frustration of having to follow a bunch of random social rules and expectations and speak a thousand different languages into one (like body language, facial expressions, etc) and it’s like he always has to be grabbing everything by the seams. plus, obviously, he likes routine and method and predictability. so being a dom, being in control of what happens, being obeyed, knowing exactly what will happen during the scene, having the time to plan it and flesh it out, it just feels particularly good and grounding for him?
and like again im not saying that “wow autistic people are doms” or anything, just talking about how these things might intersect in his personal experience, considering his desires and the specifics of his life, his autism and etc
idk i feel like this answer wasn’t very coherent, or interesting, or good, but it’s what i have to offer fuahfiah thank you for this question tho, it was really nice for me to think about
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artificialqueens · 5 years
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Not Nineteen Forever (15) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex)- Ortega
a/n: oh u thought the worst of the angst was over? it’s only just begun. apologies in advance hnggggggg. love is always appreciated here or over on my blog! love and hugs xxxxxxxxx
please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!
summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.
last chapter: Scarlet helped Vanessa deal with the aftermath of the breakup, aided by lecture-skipping and the prospect of a pink-haired rebound. Monet was gearing up to ask Nina to be her girlfriend in the most elaborate of ways, and Scarlet and Yvie finally said the most important three words to each other since “let’s get takeaway”.
this chapter: it’s Valentine’s Day, Brooke is a living flip flop, and something happens that nobody saw coming.
***
“Ayo. We’ve got a mouse.”
Brooke finally got her jacket off that she’d been struggling with and faced Yvie, who was lounging on the sofa in their little living room in front of the TV. “Well isn’t that a romantic Valentine’s Day greeting.”
“Well we do,” Yvie shrugged, Brooke leaving her bag on the kitchen table and joining Yvie in front of Coronation Street. “This storyline has been going for about a year, I swear to God.”
“Should you not be out doing romantic shit with Scarlet?” Brooke asked, hearing how monotone her voice was but unable to take it back now. Yvie looked across at her and raised an eyebrow.
“She’s got uni. I’m picking her up from her flat at five, we’re going for drinks and then out to the restaurant.”
“Picking her up with what, your bare hands?” Brooke let out a small laugh, Yvie chucking a couch cushion at her and snorting.
“Shut up. I’ll get an uber. I might even get an uber exec, really push the boat out,” she quipped, Brooke laughing again. As her laughter died down, Yvie tilted her head. “So what’re your plans for tonight?”
Brooke groaned and tilted her head to the ceiling. “I’ll be fine. I’ll stick on some films, eat some chocolate. Maybe skype my parents. I’ll be fine.”
“You said that twice.”
“Well I will be.”
Yvie made a click with her tongue. “And we all know the hallmark of a person who’s fine is if they have to repeat it about twenty billion times.”
“Yvie Oddly, ladies and gentlemen, queen of exaggeration,” Brooke said sarcastically, Yvie giving a sarcastic flourish of her hand right back at her. In the conversational lull, Brooke checked her phone. All over her instagram page there were couples; disgusting, happy couples who really were just making an embarrassment of themselves with their totally cringeworthy captions. “Happy Valentine’s Day to my number one” with every heart emoji under the sun, “happy vday baby i love u” beneath a picture of someone’s boyfriend pulling a silly face, and the worst, “he’s ok”, the understated caption contrasted by the horrendously soppy picture of a couple that Brooke knew from back home kissing for the camera.
Brooke had a cheek, she supposed. She’d made her bed- breaking up with Vanessa, as difficult as it was, was supposed to make her happier and make everything go back to normal. But it hadn’t. Knowing how much she’d hurt Vanessa brought no happiness to her at all, nor did it make her life any easier. Seeing her post sad, slow R&B song after sad, slow R&B song to her instagram story didn’t alleviate her guilt, nor did her radio silence on the group chat. Brooke had seen her only once since the breakup- across the square on campus when Vanessa didn’t realise Brooke could see her, flanked by Silky and Akeria, wearing baggy clothes and not a scrap of makeup, her face and eyes puffy and red. There was nothing about Brooke that was relieved; she desperately wanted to be there for Vanessa, to dry her tears and talk shit about herself. She had the deepest desire to be a friend to her through the breakup she had been the cause of, because ultimately she still cared about her. Brooke didn’t know if that was normal or not. She was past caring or trying to figure it out.
What was she going to do tonight? Yvie was out with Scarlet, Nina was at Monet’s right that minute. Plastique had told her in the library the other day that she was going for drinks with Ariel (“the most casual of drinks”, she’d said, although Brooke knew it would be anything but casual). She didn’t know what the others would be doing. Akeria would probably drag Vanessa on a night out and Silky wouldn’t need much encouragement to go either. It looked like Brooke was in for a night by herself after all.
Mid-scroll, one of the uploads caught Brooke’s eye- a photo from months back at Vanessa’s birthday night out of all eight of them together, dressed up and smiling with their arms around each other. It was only a few seconds later that Brooke realised she was smiling at it, completely unaware that her facial expression had changed. She wished they could all go back to October. She would exchange all the hurt and the guilt and the sadness that she’d caused in exchange for pining for Vanessa for the rest of her days. Her eyes drifted down to the caption, and her stomach plummeted when she realised who it was posted by.
missvanjiemissvanjie Happy Valentine’s Day to my day ones! Best bitches I could ask for in my life. Love you!! 💓
Brooke scanned the photo again. She hadn’t been cropped out, even though she was on the edge of the photo- the curse of being tall, Nina had called it. Her heart began to spring to life. This was a good sign. Vanessa clearly didn’t hate her, and somewhere deep inside her was a want to be friends again and go back to how things used to be. Injected with optimism, Brooke clicked on Vanessa’s messages. She paused for a moment, looking back at the last ones they’d sent- the day of the breakup, Brooke asking to talk, Vanessa wondering if everything was alright. It felt like a harpoon to her stomach.
Trying to stay positive, Brooke typed out a message.
B: Hey. Hope you’re doing okay. I know we said we still wanted to try and be friends so I was wondering if you wanted to maybe hang out tonight? Just as friends obviously. Since everyone else will be busy. Let me know.
Brooke’s finger hovered over the “x”. She decided against it. Hitting send, she found herself waiting anxiously for a reply.
“How do you know we have a mouse anyway?” Brooke asked Yvie, her words suddenly registering. Yvie shrugged.
“Ran across the worktop about five minutes before you came in.”
“What the hell are we going to do about it, then? I don’t want to even imagine what Nina’s reaction’s going to be if she sees it,” Brooke shuddered.
Yvie laughed. “No, Scarlet’s going to be the same. I don’t know, she looked like a nice lil’ fucker. I think we should get a cage. Put a block of cheese in it and then keep her as a pet."
Brooke felt her phone vibrate twice. Picking it up to check it and seeing that both the messages were from Vanessa, she nonchalantly carried on the conversation. "So Scarlet would be fine with that, would she?”
“Scarlet isn’t here all the time.”
“No, just 99% of it,” Brooke raised her eyebrows, opening Vanessa’s messages.
V: lmao
V: Are you on crack. You broke my heart two weeks ago and now you’re trying to be my friend already. Have you never heard of a thing called a healing process?
Brooke felt her stomach tense. She hovered her thumbs over her screen to reply, but nothing she thought of seemed to make sense or be the slightest bit appropriate. Despondent, she was about to close her phone when another message shot through.
V: And I’m busy anyway. So it still would have been a no.
Well, that was that. Vanessa was out with Silky and Akeria, and clearly she wasn’t invited. That was fine. Brooke could have kicked herself. She instantly wished she’d never been so tone-deaf. It had been a stupid suggestion. Of course Vanessa wasn’t going to be best friends with her a fortnight after they’d broken up.
Brooke couldn’t help the fact that she missed her, though. Even just as a friend.
“Hey, panini head? Are you listening to me?” Yvie suddenly yelled, her best Gordon Ramsay impersonation catching Brooke off-guard.
“What?”
“I said, would you look after Mrs Tibbs if I went home for the weekend?”
Brooke rubbed her temples in confusion. “Who’s Mrs-”
“The mouse! Jesus, Brooke, have you been on this earth for the past five minutes?” Yvie laughed, then gradually a frown spread onto her face. “What’s wrong?”
Brooke hadn’t realised she’d been showing her guilt and disappointment on her face. She sighed. “It’s nothing. I just still feel bad. About Vanessa, you know.”
Yvie furrowed her brow. “Listen, girl, I know dumping someone is hard and it’s unpleasant. Shit, I would know, I’ve had to do it enough times. But there comes a point where you’ve got to stop beating yourself up about it. I mean you ultimately did what was best for the pair of you. It wasn’t fair to string her along if you didn’t want to be with her. It hurts her now, but it’s better in the long run.”
Brooke nodded. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder…
…it didn’t matter.
Brooke’s phone vibrated again. She hoped and prayed it wasn’t another text from Vanessa to berate her for her shitty idea. What was to come would actually make her feel a hundred times worse.
Okay Then: happy valentines day fuckers!!!!!!! even though im out being soppy tonight i still want u all to know that ur my main bitches and number ones and i love u all sm 💖💖💖
Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: You’re disgusting. Love you too hoe xxxxxx
Yvie’s Bitch: Awwwwwww Plastique!!!!! We love you too!!!!
Yvie’s Bitch: What’re everyone’s plans for Valentine’s Day?????
Scarlet’s Bitch: i don’t know i’ve got plans with this weird girl called……Scarface? idk i’ll probs cancel on her
Yvie’s Bitch: Suck my clit x
Akeria Sainsbury’s Bag For Life: Children PLEASE
incongruous silkworm spiced praline: HAPPY INTERNATIONAL DAY OF FUCKING
incongruous silkworm spiced praline: ME N KIKI GOING OUT ON THE TOWN LOOKING FOR THIRD DIVISION FOOTBALL PLAYERS
Okay Then: oh bitch aim high? second division xo
Brooke’s heart dropped twenty storeys when she saw who was typing. Their names on the chat had been quietly changed back, but Brooke still knew who it was.
cursed SatNav voice: Happy Valentine’s Day hoes 💓💓💓
cursed SatNav voice: Even though all you couples can suck a bag of dicks
Scarlet’s bitch: gladly, bitch 💜
Okay Then: Vanj are u not going out with Silk n Kiki?? bc if not ur welcome to join me n Ariel!! it’s just casual!!
incongruous silkworm spiced praline: YES PLASTIQUE IM SURE SHED LOVE TO THIRD WHEEL U AND UR HONEYMOON PHASE FLATMATE
Akeria Sainsbury’s Bag for Life: anna ou
cursed SatNav voice: 💓 That’s sweet but I’m busy tonight!! Thanks though boo
incongruous silkworm spiced praline: SHE GOT A DATE ANYWAY
Time seemed to freeze. Brooke couldn’t move. Couldn’t even breathe. All she was able to do was blink at her phone screen as the chat blew up around her. It was only after a few moments that she realised Yvie was looking at her.
“Hey. You okay?”
“Um. Yeah, no, I’m fine,” Brooke stammered, nodding and putting her phone down in a futile effort to seem relaxed. Yvie gave a laugh.
“Brooke, you can’t break up with her and then get mad she’s going on a date with someone else.”
Brooke bristled. “No, that’s not it, that’s not it at all.”
There was a small silence as Yvie typed away at her screen, her eyebrows raised in a defiant show of disbelief. In the silence, Brooke gathered her thoughts.
“I’m just kinda…I don’t know. Not hurt, but…I mean I thought she cared about me a bit more than to be over me in the space of two weeks.”
Yvie gave a gasp, clutching at her heart. “Oh! The fragile ego of Miss Brooke Lynn Hytes. The wings of a moth cannot compare, nor the web of a spider!”
“You know, you can be a really shit friend when you want to be,” Brooke spat, getting up without a second thought and storming through to her bedroom. She threw herself down on her bed and curled up into a small ball, wishing the world would give her a break.
Her ego was hurt. Her pride was battered and bruised. She supposed she’d been so used to being revered and cared for in the eyes of Vanessa that she found it odd for that to no longer be the case. Brooke sighed. Yvie was right- she wasn’t supposed to care this much, she was supposed to be happy. Fuck, shouldn’t this have been the ideal outcome? Vanessa had moved on already.
So why did Brooke feel absolutely gutted?
She sat on her bed in the cold of her room, stewing in her thoughts, trying to figure them out and failing. She didn’t know how long she’d been there for but it had clearly been enough time for Yvie to make a cup of tea, as Brooke found when her flatmate gave a gentle knock on her door and shuffled in with the Sports Direct mug in her hand.
“Hey,” Yvie began, crossing the room and putting the mug down on Brooke’s cluttered bedside table. She sighed and lay down on top of Brooke in what could have been a cuddle or an attempt at smothering her to death. “Brooky, I’m sorry-”
“Don’t. She used to call me that and…” Brooke began, sighing when she couldn’t figure out why she had an issue with it. “I don’t know.”
Brooke wrestled an arm free from under Yvie’s stomach and brought it to rest over her back. It felt more like a cuddle now.
“I knew she was going on a date, by the way. Scarlet told me the other day. I just didn’t think you’d give a fuck,” Yvie said quietly. Brooke exhaled and felt her ribcage deflate.
“I didn’t think I would either,” she said, feeling small. There was a pause. “What’s her name?”
“Monique. The girl from Monet’s party with the purple hair,” Yvie said. It felt like a stab through Brooke’s chest. She remembered Monique, she remembered the way Vanessa had laughed at her stories and the way Monique had looked at her and the obvious chemistry between them. “If it helps, Brooke, I don’t think it’s going to be anything serious. Scarlet said that apparently she literally gave Vanjie her number and was like ‘In case you ever want a rebound’. They’ve been messaging all week. Tonight’s more of a 'fuck Valentine’s Day’ drink than anything else.”
Brooke thought about Vanessa’s perfect body, about her touching Monique the way she used to touch Brooke, talking to her like she used to talk to Brooke, someone else making her come apart the way Brooke used to. Brooke rolled out from under Yvie, grabbed her pillow, and buried her face in it, letting out a long, loud groan.
“Do you feel like you fucked it?” Brooke heard Yvie’s voice ask matter-of-factly. Brooke brought the pillow off her face and whined.
“No! No, I made the right decision. I didn’t want to be Vanessa’s girlfriend. It’s just fucking…weird. It doesn’t exactly fill me with glee thinking of her with somebody else, you know?”
Yvie smirked. “Because you know Monique’s going to fuck her better?”
Brooke launched the pillow at her flatmate, Yvie giggling. “Sorry! Sorry! Fuck, okay, point taken. Inappropriate.”
There was a silence. Yvie’s joke still hung in the air.
“Well, as long as you feel like your decision was correct,” Yvie smiled gently, patting Brooke’s thigh. “Then that’s the main thing. And it’s natural to get a little jealous.”
“I’m not jealous.”
“Sure, Jan,” Yvie raised her eyebrows and began to slide off Brooke’s bed. “Look, I’ve got to go get ready for dinner. You sure you’ll be fine?”
“Well I said it about twenty billion times, remember?” Brooke deadpanned, earning her a laugh from Yvie. “Just go. Go have fun. Have the best night, baby. You two deserve it.”
Yvie leant down and gave Brooke one last little squeeze before leaving her bedroom and going back into her own. Now she was alone with her thoughts Brooke wanted desperately to silence them so she grabbed her laptop and shoved on the least romantic film she could think of- Kingsman. As she sipped her tea and watched a man get completely sliced in half from skull to anus, she thought that would only be slightly less painful than what her emotions were currently putting her through.
As Taron Egerton refused to kill his dog, Yvie shouted a goodbye to Brooke.
As Colin Firth went absolutely mental in a church and killed everybody single-handedly, Brooke grabbed her phone and deleted all of her messages with Vanessa.
As the end credits rolled, Brooke wondered what the fuck she’d done. Two and a half years of friendship gone and deleted in the blink of an eye. But maybe it was for the best.
Brooke had been scrolling Netflix searching for something else to watch for what could have been an entire hour when she heard four things in rapid succession- the heavy bang of the front door, a scurry of hurried footsteps across the hall, the bang of Nina’s fire door and then a rapid sobbing that poured out of whoever was in the room and through Brooke’s wall. Brooke’s previously lethargic body sprang to life and she shot off her bed, took three quick steps to her door and hurried out into the hallway where she knocked on Nina’s.
“Nina? What’s happened?”
The sobbing continued from inside, Brooke unsure if the girl had even heard anything. Hesitantly, she pushed on the door.
“I’m coming in, okay?”
With no response other than more sobbing and a snuffle, Brooke entered Nina’s room. There was her usual organised dressing table with her makeup strewn all over it, indicative of a rushed getting-ready process. On her usually tidy floor was a mess of tried-on-and-rejected clothes, and there on the Aristocats-patterned duvet curled up with her stuffed teddy was Nina, absolutely crying her eyes out. Brooke practically vaulted the end of her bed to get to her flatmate who was squashed in between her pillows and the wall in the foetal position.
“Hey, hey, hey! What’s wrong?” Brooke asked her, pulling her close and wrapping her arms around her. Nina batted her away weakly.
“Don’t, Brooke, don’t, fuck, getting held is just going to remind me of her and I don’t-” Nina descended into another burst of sobs, Brooke completely and utterly confused.
“Monet? I thought you guys were fine? Oh my God, Nina, she didn’t break up with you?!” Brooke asked, scared and trying to fight the sinking feeling taking root in her chest. Nina elegantly wiped her nose on her teddy and pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes, rubbing harshly and leaving her looking like a human panda.
“She didn’t break up with me,” Nina sniffed, finally seeming to calm down.
“Oh, thank fuck.”
“I broke up with her.”
This was at least twenty times worse than what Brooke had feared. Pulling away, she fixed Nina with a look of complete incredulity. “You did what?!”
Nina rubbed at her eyes again, this time with her fingers. “Yeah, because obviously I can’t have anything fucking half-decent in my life without completely sabotaging it or making it go to shit, can I? I broke up with her, I’m a fucking idiot. Happy?”
Brooke could only blink in response as Nina leaned back and let her head hit the pillow, her stare boring into the ceiling. Her thoughts were all colliding. This was the most sudden and unexpected event, and it had completely knocked her for six. “Rewind. I thought you and Monet were fine?”
“We were fine,” Nina sighed so deeply that Brooke wasn’t sure she would have any air left in her lungs. “I was so fucking happy, Jesus. But there’s always a catch, right? Nobody can stay that happy forever, it’s always got to come to an end at some point.”
She stopped and sat up, propping her head against the headboard. Not looking Brooke in the eye, Nina continued. “She started being really distant with me. Not replying to texts for ages, being really deep in thought when we were together. I’d ask her what was wrong, but…she’d just always say nothing was. I was over at her flat the other night, we’d had a nap together and I woke up and she wasn’t there. I went into her living room and she was there with two of her flatmates. They stopped talking the second I got in, honestly I might as well have caught them all in the middle of a massive fucking orgy,” Nina laughed humourlessly. “And then it clicked. It all started after I told Monet about you and Vanessa. Nothing bad…just about how you weren’t sure, and how it’s better to just break up with somebody if you’re having second thoughts about them. It all made sense. Her being distant, always seeming off, obviously talking to her flatmates about it and having to stop because I came in. She didn’t fucking want me anymore, Brooke.”
Shocked, Brooke could only put her arms around her friend as she leaned into her chest and began to cry again. Nothing about it seemed to fit. Monet was absolutely head over heels for Nina, anyone could have seen it. It all seemed so out of the blue and sudden. Brooke tried to think about the last time Monet had been over at the flat. It had been about a week ago and Monet had seemed fine- although, now that Brooke thought about it, Monet had seemed a little quiet. Almost nervous, Brooke considered. But she was still cuddling Nina and giving her small kisses and paying her attention. It didn’t make any sense. Brooke frowned. “Nina, are you sure she actually wanted to break up with you?”
“I wondered it too. Because I didn’t want to believe it, of course. But then yesterday we were just lying in bed doing nothing. She was on her phone and my head was on her chest. I saw what was on her screen just for a second and she’d fucking-” Nina sighed, cutting herself off. “- typed this guy’s name into Google. Obviously some guy she’s met and she’s trying to find him on social media. I actually felt like I’d been stabbed, Brooke. Obviously she saw me, because she only got as far as the first name and then closed her phone. But I know what I saw, you know?”
Brooke’s frown only got deeper. “But that makes no sense. Why would she look someone up on Google, what is this, the fucking 90’s?”
“Brooke, you weren’t there. You should have seen how quickly she shut her phone off, and she was instantly all over me and telling me how lucky she was and-” Nina’s speech was interrupted by a bubble of a sob. “Oh fuck, it hurt so much. And today she woke up with me and was all "Happy Valentine’s Day!” and all that shit. I couldn’t do it, Brooke. I couldn’t make myself look like an idiot any longer. I suggested going for coffee and while we were out I just…I just fucking did it. Oh my God, it was so so bad, Brooke. She looked so fucking destroyed and she was so pissed off with me that I thought it was all a mistake but…fuck, I didn’t know what to believe. I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’ve done.“
Brooke sighed, desperately not wanting to believe it was over between the two girls. "But didn’t she explain herself? I mean what did you actually say to her? Did you confront her?”
“Jesus, no! No, I didn’t want to make it look like I was this poor, lovesick, pining idiot who was making a fool of herself over her! I jumped before I was pushed. I pretended I was the one whose feelings had changed, that it wasn’t working for me anymore. It was all a crock of shit, but she obviously believed it.”
Brooke bit the skin at the side of her thumb. There was a silence. “But didn’t she try to make you stay? Didn’t she fight for you?”
“She-” Nina cut herself off. Brooke looked down and saw tears pouring down her face, and her heart broke. “- she just sat and looked at me. Something in her eyes just…shut down. They just went all glassy, like those black marbles you got as a kid, remember? Anyway I said my piece and she just…ugh, she just nodded. She just nodded and went "Right. Got it.” in the most cold voice and then she got up, put on her coat and left. And I let her.“
With that, Nina swept her hands under her eyes and heaved a gut-wrenching shudder of a sigh. Brooke was at a loss of what to say. She had thought Nina and Monet were made for each other, and the fact that Nina had thrown it away for the sake of what Brooke was sure had to be a misunderstanding was gutting. She heaved a similar sigh to Nina’s.
"Look at us. It’s Valentine’s Day, we’re both single, we’re both here regretting breaking up with someone-”
“Wait what?” Nina asked suddenly, eyeing Brooke with suspicion. It was only then that Brooke had realised what she’d said. Startled, she backtracked.
“Well, I mean, not regretting breaking up with her, just regretting causing her hurt,” she said, Nina nodding quietly. Although Brooke was still spooked. Why had that thought popped into her head, let alone out of her mouth? She didn’t regret breaking up with Vanessa. It was the ick, just like Plastique had said. She had changed her mind. She couldn’t exactly change it back.
Could she?
“Why don’t we watch a film? I’ll bring my laptop through, get snacks from the kitchen. You don’t even need to move from this room. Or this bed,” Brooke suggested, ignoring the dangerous thoughts swirling round her mind. Nina gave a sniff and a silent nod.
“21 Jump Street?” she offered hopefully, Brooke unable to help the small laugh that escaped her mouth at the suggestion.
“This from the queen of Disney?”
“Disney’s too happy for me right now,” Nina moped, wiggling underneath her duvet cover. Brooke screwed up her face.
“Too happy? C’mon, you’ve seen Bambi. And Lion King. And Big Hero 6. And-”
“Brooke I swear to God if you don’t go get your laptop and stick on 21 Jump Street,” Nina warned, not finishing the empty threat. Laughing, Brooke did as she was told. She could only hope that the film would be enough of a distraction to her and to Nina for the next two hours.
She had no idea what they’d do once those two hours were up.
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shijiujun · 5 years
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history3 ep 19 summary - GEMS, GEMS AND MORE GEMS, EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED
ALRIGHT! Summary today! You guys already know all the important gems of the story because I’ve been fucking yelling all night I apologise sincerely for the spam guys I truly do I know how annoying it can be but I’m so excited!!!!
We start off with TY already in fucking handcuffs and Zhao Zi standing there all hovering against the wall, and TY is obviously regretful as hell and so remorseful and also once again catatonic because his SF is in the hospital again because of him, and this time DIRECTLY BECAUSE OF HIM - although i’m super curious, in between everything when did TY have time to call zz? you know?!!! and zz turns up and he’s like OHHHH FUCKKKK and: “okay guys, one of you take ah zhi, and hi tang yi, sorry gotta handcuff ya, oops”
OMG MY HANDSOME DR JIANG IS BACK!!! he’s such a sassy little bitch i love it so much!! anw he comes out and his face is like ‘guys can’t you just give me a fucking break’ and then zz takes one good look and goes: “i’ll leave you both to talk”
dr jiang says: “you look worse than the guy who was actually shot, in there” and then sits down next to TY
ty asks how he is and LMAO dr jiang is all like: “how else can he be?! he’s awake and asking for HIS MAN (like literally, dr jiang said HIS MAN) and lol i just died (more gems from dr jiang: i think that police officer, his brain is sick, only then he’ll actually want to be with you) - anw basically dr jiang is telling TY that with TY being so adamant on revenge, it’s only SF that’s willing to be with him, and if TY continues to be like this, the only person who’ll get hurt is SF
AND DR JIANG STANDS UP TO TAKE A CALL AND HE IS FACE TIMING THE BROTHER OF THE EX-WIFE FROM RIGHT OR WRONG?!! CUTE AS HELL - IS THIS A HINT? I LOVE CROSS OVERS
then TY goes inside the room and that’s when he hears the beeping - the emergency patient beep? and that’s when we see TY scrambling over like a little chick in panic because he’s afraid SF is dead, and then he’s just shaking SF and SF is not responsive at all?! and then poor TY is about to do CPR (although yea TY babe maybe you might have wanted to call dr jiang or smth?!!!!) and that’s when shao fei goes: “if you worry about me, then don’t let me die”
FIRSTLY - SHITTY JOKE BECAUSE TY WAS ABOUT TO CRY HE WAS SNIFFLING ALR SHAO FEI!!!
SECONDLY - TY YOU SHOT HIM, SO OKAY, FINE, SF IS ENTITLED TO A JOKE OR TWO
omg it’s so tender and sweet the way SF grabs TY to sit down and then leaning his cheek against his shoulder and trying to convince ty that killing ah zhi is a bad idea you know?
and then ty stands up, walks away dramatically, and then promises sf that he’ll hand He hand and ah zhi over to the police
AND THAT’S WHY SF IS SO TOUCHED AND THEN HE JUST MOVES FOR THE KISS BECAUSE HE IS SO THANKFUL AND HE LOVES TY
and then OMFUCKINGGOD - HANDCUFFS + KISS IS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN I LOVE THE WAY HE JUST, HE JUST-
TY LITERALLY JUST BROUGHT HIM CLOSER
SEXY!!!! YOU GO TANG YI
and then if you’ve seen my gifs alr, zz cockblocks them and turns up and goes: “i gotta take him”
ahahahah and then cue to emo team 3 scene and I FEEL YOU YU QI I FEEL YOU she’s like a metaphor for the fandom right now: anw zhao zi, jun wei and yu qi are there and they’re all drinking and yu qi is literally just sobbing about how the team is only left with them, and zz and yq are angry at chief and ah zhi for being corrupt basically
zz drinks and drinks (jun wei, responsible member of the party), and then he is a bit tipsy and walks home, and then he comes to this stairs area where jack is waiting (JACK DO YOU GOT SOME GPS ON ZZ?!) and jack looks at him carefully and goes: “you’ve been drinking? you’re not happy?”
poor zz is all: “of course not! i’m happy. i found out that when ppl have motives, they actually have another face, a facade - just based on this, i should celebrate, no?” /CUE MY HEART BREAKING
so zz is saying that he became a policemen because he wanted to do good things, to protect people, but look at chief and ah zhi?! 
and then they kinda sit down on the stairs, and jack says: “i’m here to tell you that i have to go” and then that’s when zz says all those words that we heard in the trailer? (so i think they overlayed this angsty dialogue with the footage from tmr where zz shrugs off jack’s hand on him as they go home)
and zz is all why do you all have to go? everyone is leaving me - grandma, chief, ah zhi, and now you? and then he’s totally tearing up and OMG MY SMOL BEAN?!!!! - yeah he’s all that and then jack asks: “if you tell me not to go, i’ll stay for you”
OMGAHHH?!!!
so zz says: “don’t go”
AND THEN THEY KISS?!!!! AND THEN THEY KISS AND HUG AND CARESS AND WE END OFF THE SCENE WITH ZZ curling up against jack’s shoulder I LOVE IT!!!!
next scene is police chief - okay can i pls say that, for someone who’s actually a criminal albeit treated with some leniency because he owned up to his crimes, THAT IS A FUCKING NICE PRISONER’S ROOM?!!! like wow, taiwan police system, amazing
anw shao fei turns up IN THE FUCKING DAPPER SUIT?!!! altho i would prefer him in a single coloured suit, he should leave those lines and patterns to TY, also WHERE IS MY TY DROOLING OVER SF IN A SUIT SCENE?!! WHERE?! WHY DID U ROB ME OF THAT?!!!!
also that bow tie is damn fucking big is it just me
anw so xiao ya got married, and SF took a long video for chief to see, and chief is crying and everything (okay srsly if i knew my dad was a criminal and everything and was about to see jail time i would have cancelled the wedding because NOOOO DAD!!! but that’s just me) - also xiao ya and shao fei sibling-ish moments?!!! WHERE ARE THESE?!
anw sf and chief have a heart to heart talk, and that’s when chief says: “ah fei, actually, i hated you.”
CUE SF’S DISTRAUGHT FACE>?!!!!
and chief explains that it’s because he was so persistent, when everyone had dropped it he insisted on going after tang yi and then shao fei says: “but lao da, you didn’t stop me either”
lao da: “yeah, i didn’t”
sf: “and that’s because, even though you chose to be a father to xiao ya with your decision, you didn’t give up being a policeman, even with what you did. that’s why you didn’t stop me”
and awwww chief cries and sf sits next to him and they just comfort each other I LIVE FOR THIS SHIT!!!
(although guys, srsly, what is with this long time skips? what’s going on? what day is it? what time is it?!!!)
next scene back at the police station, the rest of team 3 are clearing up ah zhi and chief’s stuff, and they all look miserable as fuck, and then GOOD AND SUPPORTIVE GIRL YU QI asks sf about how tang yi is, and here we find out tang yi is under house arrest pending the investigation results. yu qi asks, what if he goes to jail?
sf looks so sad at that but he says: “i’ll wait for him”
and then zz runs in and asks everyone if they’ve heard of the new hire, for the captain position? AND ISTG I THINK THIS MAY BE JACK?!!!!
next scene, our boy sf is meeting up upstanding citizen, recently turned dad CWH, and wow the sunlight on them, the lack of a shady setting and hair all styled nicely does a lot of things for a person HAHAHAHAHA - SF carefully calls him ‘uncle’ and then they talk about li zhen, and CWH has only praise for SF, that when everyone had written LZ off as a dirty cop only sf was clearing her name - THE IN LAW IS IMPRESSED GUYS!!! and then they get to talking about tang yi, and CWH is all self-pitying and dejected: “i just found my son but... i guess he and i, we can’t ever have a proper father and son relationship, can we?”
AWWWWW and this is when THERAPIST!SHAOFEI comes in, istg he’s been comforting everyone and solving everyone’s problems, amazing - he says something along the lines of: “ty needs a lot of love, so don’t give up”
and just from that line alone cwh knows that: “so you... and ty... are..?”
AHAHAHAHAHA IM DYING - and then SF gets all determined and says: “yeah we’re together”
cwh: LAUGHS “i’ve got no place to say anything, thank you for being by his side” - WOOHOOOOO CWH APPROVES OF HIS DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AMAZING
and then they fucking hug
oh god, this is one of the best hugs of the damn show
i swear to god, the best hug goes to cwh-sf, can you frickin imagine?!!!!! the tight, comforting hug?!!! do you know that?! that’s all i ever wanted from my CPs?!!!! but no we get it between father in law and son in law WHY!!! i mean it was really great i loved it but GOOD HUGS ARE SOMETIMES BETTER THAN SEX
BACK TO OMELETTE SCENE - so obviously even tho ty is under house arrest, sf has free pass to go in and out of the house, and they’re so sweet with one another
ty: “why did you go and bother with that old man?!”
and sf is all trying to mend the relationship between them, to remind ty that it’s okay to take ur time, but you’ve got a second chance (or third, actually), so you may regret it if you miss this opp. - and tang yi considers this, then changes the subject over food AS ALWAYS
the “I LOVE YOU” part comes up (pls see gifs) - and they’re all so sweet with each other?!!!! and just as sf is about to go in for more, ty is like “hey, don’t mess around, we gotta do our omelettes first” AND SHAO FEI HONESTLY JUST POUTS!!!! I FEEL YA SF 
and okay is it just me or do the omelettes look not so nice - the right side one especially AAHAHAHAHAHA and they banter over putting the ‘dead face’ on the omelette and sf is all: “i’ve taught you so many times!!! there must be a smile!!! why did you put that?!!” AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER
and then we get the next scene, OKAY SO THIS IS THE PART WHERE I WAS LIKE WTF WRITERS DID U GUYS REALLY GO THERE?!!!
FIRSTLY, THEY BLURRED THE COMIC ZZ IS READING ON HIS BED 
SECONDLY, HIS HAND ACTION? ARE U KIDDING ME?
SO HE’S BASICALLY READING WEIRD STUFF AND LIKE jerking himself off?!!!!!!!! like okay writers, we could have done without this scene, srsly, i mean either you do it entirely OR YOU DONT - IN THIS CASE I PREFERRED - DON’T!!!!!
EDIT: OKAY SO HE WASN’T - went back to look at the shot after and yes i was blind - but they really were setting it up for that!!! come on so suggestive that under blanket hand movement?!!!! i’m glad it wasn’t but OMG MY EYES for a moment i wanted to die but our zz is pure and he wasn’t touching anything weird sorry guys bad eyesight
then jack turns up at his house with a bag (that LOOKS DAMN LIGHT?! JACK WTF WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES DID U TURN UP WITH AN EMPTY BAG?!) 
so jack basically moves himself in - amazing
OHANA GUYS OHANA MEANS NO ONE GETS LEFT BEHIND!!!!
and they kiss, and jack bend zz backwards on the table (hygiene, but then again, jack will clean up anyway)
QUESTIONS:
would have love to find out more about LZ and TGD and wtf was going on properly - it’s hinted at but LOOPHOLES GALORE
ALL THE SCENES I WANTED ARE OUT - WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENIGN TMR?!
omg today was 35 min, and i fricking pray that tmr at least will be 15-20 min LIKE IF U END IT IN 5 MINUTES, we’re all gonna die, then i prefer if we’ve shifted scenes from today to tomorrow
although i have some hope because they’ve got to resolve still, jack and zz, and then ty’s ‘sentence’ if there is, and then grave scene and then the sex scenes if we do get them as promised, idc if we get them or not AS LONG AS WE GET AT LEAST 15-20 MIN WORTH OF CONTENT TOMORROW!!
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ohlukcs · 5 years
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( alex wolff, male ) did you hear how LUKAS TOZER is applying to columbia university as a FILM & MEDIA STUDIES major ?! the 19 year old is living in the WALLACH HALL. i heard that they got in because they are + PASSIONATE and +THOUGHTFUL, but honestly i think HE can be -ASSUMING and -CYNICAL. they’re a real MAVERICK. oh well, only time will tell if the SOPHOMORE will make it til the end.
about the mun !!
hi hello my name is sam (she/her), im 22, and im a big fat mess at all times :) um but a lil more about me is that i’m australian and a recently graduated film student lmao. i’ve been rping for like ten years now i think idk but i am a NERVOUS BITCH !!!!!!! and it sometimes takes me forever to reply to things (ic and ooc) bc of that so pls be patient with me lmao. anyway, happy 2 be here !! if u like this post i’m gonna assume u wanna plot with me and my idiot and hit u up !!! lets mcfreakin lose it !!!!
about lukas !!
full name: lukas joshua tozer
nickname(s): luk-ass idk whatever u can come up with lmao
age: nineteen
gender: cis male
pronouns: he/him
hometown: jackson, new jersey
date of birth: nov 4th
occupation: student ( film and media studies, sophomore ), cook/server at a nearby 24hr pizza joint
relationship status: single
drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes
faceclaim: alex wolff
positive traits: passionate, thoughtful, creative, ambitious, untethered, humorous
negative traits: assuming, cynical, insensitive, rebellious, resentful, irresponsible
if he was in a hogwarts house: slytherin
now some more dot points that are just me talking about lukas !!
was born in fort lauderdale florida but there is a vERY low chance he will ever admit that, he’ll just say he’s from new jersey. as far as he’s concerned, he’s always been from new jersey even if his family did move there after he turned twelve
speaking of things lukas probably wont ever tell u but i’m including them anyway: his family is kind of messy. not majorly but like a little bit more than average. he had two brothers, now he only has one. i’m not gonna include a whole lot of nitty gritty here i’ll save it for when i write the real bio and can actually do it justice but its the reason they moved from florida and it has had a pretty major effect on lukas over time obviously
he’s the baby of the family and he’s pretty much always been treated like one. it has left him pretty immature and irresponsible. still learning that his actions have consequences and that he cant just be a total dick all the time. he’s improved in those areas a fair bit since he started at columbia a year ago but he still has a long way to go
he didn’t ever really expect to go to columbia, he’s from a middle class family and his dad didn’t even go to college. he applied for columbia just as a might as well give it a go thing. like maybe it will happen. they had a film course and although the course itself isn’t really great, the connections to the industry available at columbia were valuable enough for him to try. he was wait listed up until basically the last minute, preparing to go to a college in boston instead but when he was accepted he knew he had to go. for himself, for his family, and for his lost brother.
obviously irresponsible attitude has led to some Bad Decision Making including but not limited to partying and drugs. he doesn’t prioritise that lifestyle over his school work (bc he knows how lucky he is to be at columbia at all) but he is a big believer that you need to experience things to be a great artist and he plans on being the greatest artist so bad decision town here we come !!!!
he has a pet goldfish named michael bublé pls dont nark
for more info on him click here to check his about page, no bio there yet but hopefully soon
wanted connections babey !!
course friends/rivals/anything: i am writing these before acceptances happen so i have no good god damn idea if any other characters are film majors but hit me the hell up if they are bc i would love to plot some stuff out
old roommate(s) : lukas was probably an entertaining roommate but probably verged on annoying pretty easily. he’s messy, gross, probably didn’t respect the do ur fucking dishes rule in first year ( probs still doesnt tbh ). but he also has a password to every streaming account plus a phat hard drive full of movies and shows that he is absolutely willing to share with u so just depends what ur into i guess. maybe this connection led to friendship or maybe they hate each other now. im down for either/both 
dealer: hi welcome back to bad decision town. lukas isn’t into any hard stuff but is a big weed smoker (to my understanding medicinal cannabis is allowed but lukas def doesn’t have a prescription), then after that it’s kind of just experimenting. will chat more details if u wanna take this connection
booze leachers: so yes lukas is 19 but he has four, thats right, four fake ids. he is not willing to give u his contact for fake ids but he is willing to buy u booze if u pay him. dont hate the player hate the game
gang gang: pretty much just a close group of friends. i imagine all pretty relaxed, all pretty chill. idk what to say here except i want people to care about him and let him put on dumb movies and watch them with him and probably have dumb matching stick and poke tattoos and hog a communal tv to play mario kart but lets talk about it
fast food workers deserve respect too: as mentioned, lukas works at a 24hr pizza joint near campus which means he’s seen some shit. one of the things he’s seen multiple times is drunk student trashing the place. whether it be vomit, forgetting how to hold a cup, or bet try at a food fight lukas has seen it and he’s cleaned it up too. this connection could be that maybe he helped someone out and cleaned them up and got them back to campus when their friends ditched and now they look out for lukas too and its a positive connection. or maybe lukas hates their guts and spits on their food whenever they show up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who’s to say
hot girl bummer by blackbear: now listen here’s an angsty connection i want, and i def want to plot it out way more with whoever takes it on but basic outline of what i have in mind: they’ve kind of sort of been dating for a while but they’re just falling out of whatever they had to begin with. they were never official, they probs def fucked around with other people while they were ““““together”””””, lots of oh sorry ur taking it so seriously i thought we were just chilling bullshit. all of this girls friends probs hate lukas and he definitely hates them back. were probably once really good friends and had a really good time together but they’ve lost it. will they find it again or will it fizzle out? lets find out together xoxo
new girl(s) : i hate the connection title too but i couldnt think of anything better. we’re in bad decision town and now we’re going to thot street babey. since things have been falling apart with hot girl bummer and even before that lukas a little bit of a thottie. this doesnt mean he’s good at it, please also feel free for a part of this to be that they rejected lukas and he got butt hurt about it idk lukas being attracted to them is basically this whole idea and i would wanna plot the rest of it more depending on specific characters wooo
lukas is a bad influence: if u have gotten this far u may have noticed that lukas is not a very good influence at all. this is someone probs his age or younger that wants to loosen up and have a good time and lukas completely encourages that. bonus points if this connection is a combo with the above connection bc lukas is a gross boi and would be like wow listening to my bad ideas thats so sexy and cool of u ya know. but also doesnt have to be that ! could just be lukas thinks its funny and thinks that someone listening to him is just like good content that could get him on barstool
lukas is badly influenced: this is basic as hell but someone that tells him to leave his impluse control at the door and encourages him to be trash. probs older than him and i def see this as more of a masc connection than a fem but like all my plot ideas: lets talk about it. this one probs v much depends on ur character so gonna leave this one nice and short
lukas is good-ly (??????) influenced: also basic as hell and p much just the opposite of above. someone who is a good influence on lukas. encourages creativity and ambition instead of straight up recklessness. again, i see it as an older character but no gender seen here. a lot of this would be based around ur character so lets chat
michael bublé’s co parents: lukas has a goldfish named michael bublé (or just michael), i picture him having got it while high as heck during the day and just being like This Is A Good Idea. maybe ur character was with him and they were co parents from the start or maybbe they came into the picture later ??? i’m honestly down for whichever just give michael the love he deserves pls
and probably just about anything else these are just some ideas, i totally wanna plot further and brainstorm so please still hmu if none of these fit ur character we’ll plot something up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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cs-discourse · 5 years
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Breaking Down Clowns' Posts: Episode One with Mochi
let's get into a Breakdown, shall we? my interpretations are in bold :) 
I’m fucking over this mewlin bullshit. Idc what kind of hate I’m going to get over this because obviously nobody is allowed to have beliefs contrary to your own anymore. to start off, saying "idc what kind of hate i'm going to get over this" before saying something defending a terrible opinion is a bad thing to do, just sayin. you saying "because obviously nobody..." makes it seem like you're annoyed with us being upset over transphobia! that's just my interpretation, but it'd bc a shame if you were :) because our opinion is valid and mewlin's transphobic opinions are not. anyways, if the beliefs you hold could potentially harm somebody/a community, they aren't valid whatsoever. let's put it this way (thank u alcides for saying this): bigoted people vote for bigoted opinions. bigoted opinions lead to bigoted laws, and these laws will harm people's lives & affect the choices they are able to make. also, blatant transphobia is so different from a VALID opposing belief such as preferring winter over summer. transphobia kills. favorite seasons don't. But anyways. Y’all need to laY oFF. Mewlin is a person, just like you and I. She thinks, eats, and breathes. nice to know she's living-- what exactly does this have to do with the point you're trying to make? homophobes think, eat, and breathe. racists, eat, think, and breathe. i could go on! She doesn’t deserve even a fraction of this harassment. are you sure...?? not even.... 1/100th of it? god, i can't believe a transphobe would actually DESERVE harassment!! the audacity!!! you should never be harassed for holding an opinion that harms someone's life! (extreme sarcasm, if you couldn't tell!) I get it, her beliefs are upsetting to you. thank you for stating the obvious! why wouldn't we be upset with a transphobe? Obviously I don’t agree with her beliefs, I think transphobia is nasty. i mean if my friend was a transphobe i'd fucking run from them but u do u boo BUT that doesn’t make her a bad person. You hear me? YOUR BELIEFS DONT DEFINE YOU. i've had to repeat something along the lines of this statement many times but i'll say it again: if your beliefs harm other people, then that's all people will define you with. Mewlin is a sweet, kind, supportive person with some controversial beliefs. some....? controversial beliefs? transphobia isn't even controversial ur either a terrible person or ur not. I’m not saying you have to love her, you can hate her with every ounce of your being, but keep it to your damn self! if u love her, keep it to your damn self! look what you've done by posting this. you've prompted a response from myself & many others. I don’t expect trans people to be all buddy buddy with her, or even cis people. But you have no right to dehumanize her the way you’ve been. i mean..... isn't she dehumanizing trans people by saying they're invalid & wrong....... :0c When she had her moments of saying nasty things, SHE DIDN’T KNOW BETTER. When she was called out, she stopped! did she really? Doesn’t erase what she said but it doesn’t mean she had bad intentions. i distinctly remember her defending her use of the word (tw!!) tr*p so like. ok You guys are so out to get her that you don’t realize she’s a person too. A person with emotions and a life to live. when are u going to stop using the "shes a person!!!" argument... zzzzzzz How do you think she feels reading about you all calling her disgusting and telling her she has no rights to this or that or even at all? i would hope she feels regret for her transphobic actions and that's all. Mewlin is truly a sweet, generous person. She gives people things out of the kindness of her heart. She’s gifted me a kalon and some edits, not to clear her name or to prove anything, but because she wanted to. what point are you trying to prove??? this is like saying a bully is a good person bc they're nice to their friends?? Have you ever considered that maybe her pfp on discord is that pride icon jish made because she wants to express her support?? okay... and? someone who's bi (assuming she's using the bi pride one) can still be transphobic lmao. Sure, she’s had her moments, but maybe she’s getting better. if she's getting better, i'd like to personally hear from her & not one of her friends. Maybe the pride icon is her way of trying to open up a little bit, and hey, she knows I’m a genderfluid lesbian and she’s never said a word to me about it. good for u!! must be because you're friends w her. she must be desperate to hold onto the few people who manage to ignore her bigoted opinions! Grow the fuck up and learn to either keep your mouth shut or GET OVER IT. Bitching about it on this blog for months is only keeping you angry and upsetting Mewlin more. i'm pretty sure people have the right to defend their identities & like. we would stay quiet if mewlin didn't continue to clown around This is counterproductive!! Yeah, you hate her. Woohoo!! You get a gold star! omg, thank u!!!! Now move on and do something with your life that isn’t obsessing over one person who is MISERABLE because of you. She is getting nasty dms all the time that are really upsetting to her all because you guys think it’s a fun idea to harrass her more. ok i haven't DMed her so i really don't have an opinion on that but., it's not like we're 'harassing' her without being provoked?? all of this drama starts with her & her bigoted statements/actions CS is supposed to be a fun, enjoyable game for everyone. It’s supposed to be a safe space. Lay off already and let her enjoy her safe space like you all get to as well. the problem with the last statement is that we don't get to truly enjoy this 'safe space' if transphobes like her are making trans people uncomfortable, afraid, and upset so like. Ok She’s not hurting anyone! really? she's not hurting anyone? If her existence makes you THAT uncomfortable, fucking block her and go. already have, luv xx I’m over it! I’m done reading the hate she gets on here and getting dms from my upset or even terrified friend because of what people said to/about her. are u trying to get us to sympathize w a transphobe..?? im confused. Imagine if it were you. i mean. if you read the salt blog last year it Was me so uhhhhh. what's your point?? i know i fucked up but it seems like all mewlin is doing is crying despite causing Imagine if it were your friend. i'm not friends with transphobes so i can't relate! There’s this DBT skill called radical acceptance. It’s where you recognize that it is what it is. You cannot change it so rather than sitting in your misery and spreading it around, simply accept that’s what it is and keep going with your life. Try it, it actually works pretty well. Radically accept that when it comes down to it, you can’t change her. So accept how she is and move on. are u asking people to accept that someone on what's supposed to be a safe space is a transphobe...??? Okay, I’m done rambling now. I’ve said my piece, I’m ready for the hate to come pouring in 👌
with this closing statement: it's 1am and i'm tired so! this is monky brain typing. i really don't have sympathy for mewlin whatsoever so like i really don't care if she gets upset over my response bc it's nowhere near compared to what trans people have to go through so :) my final words are: fuck mewlin and anybody who likes her despite her invalid shitty opinions.
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versctles · 4 years
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SEND A "!" FOR OUR MUSES MARRIED LIFE
@younqdrunk said: ! for obviously alvaro/wren and if you feel like it, anyone else you see getting married, surprise me 👀
ALVARO AND WREN
Who was the one to propose: we both know it is wren because he’s very expressive and assertive like that. he was really looking for the perfect timing as well. but i bet alvaro already had the marriage thing in mind, just that wren was a step ahead of him :~) Who stressed more over wedding planning: this is pretty obvious we both know it’s wren Who decorated the house: wren again ofc, and alvaro probs helps out bc he likes being wren’s cute helper whenever wren wants to be extra Who is more organized: with domestic stuff it’s 100% wren, but then alvaro does a great job taking care of the kids and his workplace seems quite organized as well Who initiates bedroom fun: both of them do, but i mean alvaro just has to breathe in wren’s presence and wren could pounce on him at that moment Who suggested kids first: i’m not sure about this bc they both love kids, so let’s make it a tie breaker and say they both had it in mind before both bringing it up at the same time Who’s more dominant: wren is bc he can be quite the control freak, but he adores his service top boyfriend absolutely adores everything about him Who’s the cuddler: they are both equally clingy with each other, but around the first time i feel like it’s alvaro then wren warms up to him and now they just can’t get their hands off of each other What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: we both know it’s stargazing, probs while having a nice picnic out that wren prepared for them :~) Who kills the spiders: wren would cry and hide behind alvaro until it’s gone, but knowing alvaro he doesn’t kill it and probs catches it to set it free outside . an angel  Who falls asleep first: idk why i imagine it’s more of wren . maybe bc alvaro rlly makes the most out of it and tires him out 👀 Who is louder? wREN jfkbngjb don’t even ask Who is more experimental? i think they both are . always wanting to try something new w each other Do they fuck or make love? they always make love .  i can’t imagine a time they just fucked bc their love is so sensual and passionate and they are both so considerate of each other Who is more likely to be caught masturbating? neither bc i mean they have each other anyway Who comes first? this is something i’m unsure of since they have sex a lot and probs last long a lot so i’ll give it a 50/50 Who is better at oral and who prefers it? they both do, and i feel like they always take their time, barely having a quickie bc they like to do foreplay and oral before intercourse Who usually initiates things? for like major extra things, probs wren . and for like small every day things probs alvaro Who is more sensitive? alvaro is more sensitive w criticism while wren is generally just a ball of sensitivity in terms of details and stuff Who has the most patience? alvaro :~) and it’s one of the trillion reasons wren is in love w him bc he’s so grateful for his patience my heart
MAX AND ZACH
Who was the one to propose: id k why i imagine this being zach esp when they’re both out and it’s that us against the world thing ?? and he permanently just wants max by his side Who stressed more over wedding planning: neither bc they aren’t picky and just want to get married Who decorated the house: i don’t think either are rlly into domestic decorating ?? but i mean zach would put a bit of effort if some guests are coming over . and by effort, i mean hire someone else to do it  Who is more organized: i’m gonna bet on this w max bc zach is just chaos wrapped up in a box, hence why he is the tazmanian devil Who initiates bedroom fun: they both do our horny bois, esp when max calls zach daddy he will nut every single time rip Who suggested kids first: i’m not sure w this one maybe max but like rlly subtle bc he wants to keep it cool and eventually zach isn’t at all against the idea of it Who’s more dominant: we both know it’s zach, but i mean max can be quite dominant too whenever he pleases, and they end up fighting for control Who’s the cuddler: mAX !! soft grumpy boi . zach probs complains w how clingy and affectionate he was at first, but i mean he’s stuck w him forever and he wouldn’t have it any other way What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: neither one of them are fussy like i imagine them just being chill couch potatos, cuddling and watching sports is enough of a classic fave Who kills the spiders: ok i’m laughing but zach will manly scream and run the hell out of there bc he’s almost gotten bitten by a spider when he was a kid so . ur on ur own max, but i mean, zach still loves u Who falls asleep first: zach bc he rlly tires himself out until his energy drops to zero and he’s passed out on top of max butt naked, but i mean he’s pulled out already Who is louder? this remains to be a mystery to me rn buuut i feel like it’s max Who is more experimental? they both are p experimental tho zach is still bitter max doesn’t wanna get fucked in a public alley . but i mean soft cold baby, can’t blame him Do they fuck or make love? it’s an alternate thing but even when they “ fuck “ there’s still that fondness that reassures them it’s so much more than sex Who is more likely to be caught masturbating? zach is a wanker so i mean, you didn’t hear it from me 👀 Who comes first? probably max, but it’s only fair bc he’s the one getting his ass fucked most of the time . and zach he rlly likes to control his orgasm Who is better at oral and who prefers it? they both love oral and anal equally i mean come on Who usually initiates things? if it’s like surprises i feel like it’s max . he seems to be a sneaky little fly . but if it’s like no chill pins him against the wall and aggressively makes out, then it is 100% zach Who is more sensitive? max i think ? but i mean zach can be rlly sensitive too u just gotta crack him right, which max has done, so i’ll answer this w both Who has the most patience? i come to think they both do ? or at least max does a bit more than zach, but zach never gives up on him anyway
CALUM AND NICO
Who was the one to propose: calum bc he when he met nico he was sure this was the only person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Who stressed more over wedding planning: neither but i come to think calum’s mother offered to do a lot of work for it since she enjoys wedding plans Who decorated the house: once again, i feel like calum’s mother offered and these two probs bonded with her while she did Who is more organized: i’ll give props to nico for this bc calum is just phew Who initiates bedroom fun: calum at first ?? since nico seems to be the shy type, but i mean when they’ve dated longer, i bet they alternately initiate Who suggested kids first: calum bc he’s so family-oriented we love him Who’s more dominant: they both are, but personality-wise i’m gonna say it’s nico Who’s the cuddler: calum is vvv affectionate w nico he can’t even hide it What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: skinny dipping, bonus when it’s like training grounds or a pool they’re not supposed to be in Who kills the spiders: they both take turns getting the spiders out, but it’s mostly calum  Who falls asleep first: idk why i imagine nico falls asleep first since calum is crazily energetic, but he’d gladly cuddle nico as he falls asleep ok they are v soft Who is louder? nico  which is why calum is forever smug about it 👀 Who is more experimental? calum is experimental as fuck so brace yourself, nico  Do they fuck or make love? they always make love, but making love can get intense w them Who is more likely to be caught masturbating? idk why i imagine this being nico, but i mean calum is always willing to offer a hand ( heh ) Who comes first? i mean from all the stimulation calum gives, i’m p sure nico does Who is better at oral and who prefers it? calum enjoys oral and idk much ab nico so maybe both ? Who usually initiates things? calum is a lil daredevil so we both know it’s 100% him ok Who is more sensitive? nico bc calum is a giant idiot that probs dropped his head when he was a baby Who has the most patience? calum does, but i mean he loves his grumpy nico
LUCA AND WREN
Who was the one to propose: wren also bc i bet they had a rlly dumb argument before that and wren was so scared of losing luca so he rlly realized how much he loves this pain in the ass and seals the deal with him Who stressed more over wedding planning: they both do, but i mean wren is def fussier since luca just wants something simple and less costly w wren’s vision Who decorated the house: wren does, which sometimes luca finds unnecessary bc of the expenses but i mean wren knows how to make a house truly look like a home Who is more organized: they both are, but i’m guessing wren is slightly more organized ? Who initiates bedroom fun: they both do, but i guess after they’ve recovered from bickering bc that seems to be their priority over sex Who suggested kids first: wren probs saw some kids while they were out in public together and just nudging luca like ‘ how many of them do u want ‘ and it starts that conversation Who’s more dominant: in bed it is definitely wren, but generally they are both dominant which is probs why they’re always at each other’s throat and can only ever handle each other Who’s the cuddler: i think it’s wren also whenever he fucks up w luca over the pettiest things, he just gets extra affectionate when he doesn’t feel like saying sorry yet What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: probs volunteering for a good cause bc they’re such angels to the world Who kills the spiders: neither one of them actually kills the spider, but they’ll both be huddled in a corner praying for it to go away, unless one of them is brave enough to like do the honors of bringing the spider outside  Who falls asleep first: it alternates between them depends who got the bigger head ache that day Who is louder? they both get rlly loud im just Who is more experimental? they both are lbr Do they fuck or make love? they hatefuck i guess, v rare occasions they make love and it’s v memorable wherever the hell they are Who is more likely to be caught masturbating? i feel like it’s wren yikes Who comes first? they alternately do, but i think it’s usually luca ? though they both last p long Who is better at oral and who prefers it? i feel like they both rlly love oral Who usually initiates things? they both do Who is more sensitive? they both get sensitive w each other, hence why they often bicker Who has the most patience? they have the equal amount of patience w each other, even when it’s v little
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