#I appreciate you talking to me about this btw...I feeel trusted 🌹

[flowersofjannah]

salaam sis, jazakallah khayr for your response <333 So, there is someone who may know but this mutual colleague is on leave and i'm leaving this place in 2 weeks (but i'll be back again in january iA for 1-2 months, then again for 1-2 months in the summer months - after which idk where i'll end up) but the colleague will also be back in january. i did want to just confirm things before then though as i dont want to be in a limbo and want to get over this all if he ends up being married/ figure out what to do if he's still single etc. I'm also incredibly shy like yourself and can't even imagine the thought of even saying hi to him as many people have suggested. most of my life if i have thought of someone for marriage/ liked them, i've kept it to myself. alhamdullilah it has meant i've saved myself from lots of pointless drama but at this age, im now wondering if i should take some initiative - but this is so tough as i become very shy around men generally and can't even look them in the eye. i also only continue conversations with men/ respond only if they initiate it so feel strange in this case if i have to start something myself. i dont want to get anyone involved at this stage - all i'm trying to do is figure out somehow if he's married but even asking this mutual colleague will mean that someone will know im interested and i'd rather not have anyone know but what can i do i guess?? idk sis, but it's been hard to focus. i have a tendency to get ahead of myself and imagine the future/ idea of a person before even making my interest/ myself known to them as im scared of what will happen if i become known to them. im more of a 'like them from a distance and hope they notice miraculously that i liked them, and maybe they like me back and will approach me first' kind of person. I will do istikhara as u said iA and see if i somehow bump into him again before i leave within the next 2 week. i may just drop a 'does your wife also work here as a XYZ as yourself?' (to which he could respond Y/N i do/not even have a wife) although this seems too daring for me to do and idk if this will make it obvious to him but in a shameless way ahhhh. even thinking about him makes me nervous as he's so serious and manly and private and ahh. i did try and look for his linkedin but he has no connections/ hasnt added anyone from work and it hasnt got his workplace on there, just his uni and profession (so im sure its him) - so he's not active on it or anything and it'd be weird to add him like that. he also doesnt seem to have any socials, then again im not on socials either besides this place and facebook which i dont use tbh. idk sis but i cant stop thinking about all of this really. i guess my issue is that whenever someone stands out somehow, i always wonder to myself 'is it him? will he end up being my husband?' but then end up finding out usually that they recently got married/ end up being a different person to what i thought etc :// jazakallah khayr again tho sis for ur words, i guess it's nice having some reassurance xx

Wa ‘alaykum assalam, wa iyyakki <3

There is no harm in talking to the mutual if you know that they are trustworthy and won’t spread your confiding. There’s nothing wrong in being interested in someone sis! It’s okay sis, you reminded me of a hadith:

Narrated `Abdullah bin `Umar:

The Prophet (ﷺ) passed by a man who was admonishing his brother regarding Haya' (pious shyness from committing religeous indiscretions) and was saying, "You are very shy, and I am afraid that might harm you." On that, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Leave him, for Haya' is (a part) of Faith."

[Sahih Bukhari]

Lol, you sound just like me 😂 plan out the wedding and baby names too early haha

Trust your intuition sis, if you feel he may be the one, perhaps you should bring 6 seconds of courage and ask of his relationship status. He obviously won’t mind, he’ll be nothing but flattered!

Just make sure to always keep things halal ^-^

Oh yeah, did you check if he's wearing a ring???

#I appreciate you talking to me about this btw...I feeel trusted 🌹