#so like. existential crisis in the summer like always <3

[lovebugism]

can i request something with a reader who’s just really into steve’s scoops ahoy uniform?

hi, my love! thanks so much for your request!! what better way to celebrate july 4th (aka stranger things 3 day) than by commemorating steve harrington in his scoops ahoy uniform? tw for smut mdni!! (2.1k)

bug's summer fic fest ♡

When Steve told you he got a job slinging ice cream at the mall downtown, you didn’t think much of it. 

In fact, you spent the better part of that conversation comforting him. It was an existential crisis of sorts, wherein he’d spun himself into a panic about not going to college, not being successful, and not providing for you in the way that partners are supposed to. 

You figured it was a bruise to the ego more than anything — especially with his asshole father constantly looming over his shoulder. A steady reminder of what he could’ve been in ways more daunting than just one.

But then he showed you the Scoops Ahoy mandated uniform, held it in his hands with all the boyish reluctance of a child. According to him, the bright blue sailor’s outfit was the most dehumanizing thing of it all. It even came with its own stupid hat. 

You were so turned on by the idea of him wearing it, you forgot you were supposed to be consoling him. You quickly forgot why the job was ever a bad idea in the first place. Steve, albeit a bit confused by your sudden giddiness, was more excited to go into work the following Monday when he knew you were visiting him the first chance you got.

You’re practically skipping when you walk into Scoops, skirt swishing around your thighs. It was later in the morning, which meant business was relatively slow. There’s an older couple sharing a sundae at one of the booths, but other than that, you’re the only customer in the store.

Steve stands at the register with a smile on his face he doesn’t know is there. He’s been a real grouch all morning, but he’s forgotten why at the sight of you.

You beam at him, propping your elbows on the counter and putting your chin in your hands. “Do the line,” you gush.

His chest inflates with a deep breath in, then deflates with a sharp exhale. You don’t even notice that it’s a sigh of annoyance at first, too focused on the scarlet tie around his shoulders and the tufts of chest hair peeking out from the top of it.

“Ahoy, sweetheart,” he greets, still grinning despite his lack of enthusiasm. He tilts his head to his shoulder and recites his line: “‘Welcome to Scoops Ahoy. Would you like to set sail on this ocean of flavor with me today? I’ll be your captain’— How was that?” 

“Even better in uniform,” you marvel in a lilt. Then you squint at him. “I better be the only customer you’re using that sweetheart line on, though, Harrington.”

Steve scoffs like the thought of saying it to anyone else is appalling. “I’m pretty sure you’re the only person in the world I’ve ever called sweetheart, sweetheart.”

“Good. I plan on it staying that way.”

The boy smiles to himself. 

He likes when you get all possessive. Maybe because he spent the majority of his past relationships having to be the jealous one — always worried about never being good enough, being left. He likes how confident he is in the fact that you only have eyes for him. Even if he is wearing a stupid sailor’s uniform. 

“What do you what, huh?” the boy asks as he pulls out his metal scoop from the apron tied around his hips. “Choco-mint with chocolate sprinkles?”

He’s already spooning the green ice cream onto a cone for you before you say a word. You like that you never have to tell him what you want, that he knows you like the back of his hand already. 

“Ooh. He looks good in a sailor’s outfit, and he’s attentive?” you singsong lowly. “I think you might be a keeper, Steve Harrington.”

The boy rolls his eyes as he turns away from you. He walks to the opposite wall, where several containers of variously colored sprinkles sit in a large tub. When he bends over to smother your cone in the chocolate kind, the white hem of his shorts climbs up his thighs. You almost forget to breathe.  

Steve turns around to catch you staring. You don’t even blink.

“Stop ogling at me,” he laughs with pink cheeks. “It’s getting weird, babe.”

Your brows pinch. “Why is it weird to look at my boyfriend?”

“Because your boyfriend looks like an idiot. Like, this should not be turning you on, sweetheart.”

“The heart wants what it wants, Stevie,” you shrug with a whimsical sigh.

He meets your smirk with a half-hearted scowl and passes you the ice cream cone. When your tongue darts out to taste it, his brain malfunctions for a moment. “Seriously, babe,” he scoffs when his senses return to him. “What about any of this is attractive to you?”

Your head tilts as you scan his muscular form, looking far more boyish than usual in his flamboyant uniform. “Well, for starters, those ankle socks are strangely sexy—”

Steve snorts at the offbeat start to your list.

“—And your thighs look delectable in those shorts. Your arms do, too. You’ve been working out so much, they barely fit in those sleeves,” you compliment. The corner of your mouth quirks into a half-smile as your eyes flit up to his hair. “Also, something about the hat and ascot combo is really doing it for me.”

Robin comes out of the break room then. The door swishes back and forth. “You could’ve just said everything and be done with it,” she grouses as she clumsily sits her white cap on her head.

She looks about as grumpy as Steve, like something about the linoleum tile and fluorescent lighting is sucking the lives out of the two of them.

“Don’t worry. You look hot too, Buckley,” you promise with a smirk.

Her head tilts sweetly to the side as she musters a grin of her own. “Thank you.”

You turn back to Steve with an expectant gaze. “When do you go on break again?”

He twists his wrist to check his watch as you take another lick of your ice cream cone. 

Robin answers for him. “Now, preferably.”

“What?” the boy asks with furrowed brows. “I still have, like, fifteen minutes left.”

“Just go fuck and get it over with,” she groans, ocean-blue eyes wide and pleading. “I can practically smell the sexual tension radiating off both of you.”

Steve wants to argue, but you only smile. You nod your head towards the exit. “C’mon, sailor.”

He has no choice but to follow behind you. He’s been doing it for years now, and you haven’t disappointed him once. You lead him by his hand through the bustling mall, chucking your half-eaten cone into the bin when you reach the entrance.

Steve isn’t surprised when you wind up at his car in the employee parking section. He swirls with a boyish excitement, anyway. 

Everything feels so new with you. 

Even the things he’s done a thousand times.

Including, but not limited to, fucking you in the backseat of his car.

You’re on him the second you shut the door behind you. Your skirt bunches at your hips as you straddle his thighs, kissing him with the intent to swallow him whole.

Steve’s hands are limp at his sides in shock. It leaves you doing most of the work yourself, pulling down his blue shorts and gray underwear in one fell swoop. You tuck the hem of them beneath his heavy balls and half-hard cock.

His head falls back against the seat when you start fisting him completely stiff.

You twist your wrist in the way you know he likes — squeezing him towards the top before falling to the stem of his cock again. Your thumb swipes over his bulbous head to collect the pearly pre-come beading there. 

If you had enough room in the backseat of his Beamer, you might’ve forgone the sex entirely and just taken him into your mouth right then.

Steve’s rosy mouth falls agape to billow pretty little moans for you. You tug on the red tie around his neck to get his attention again. His glazed-over, honey eyes flutter open to find your smirking face. 

“Can I take a ride on your ocean of flavor, Stevie?” you tease with a mischievous glint in your eye.

“It’s ‘set sail,’ but yeah— shit,” he swears when your thumb grazes his leaking tip again. “Of course, you can, sweetheart…”

With his consent, you grip the bottom of his cock, pushing your panties to the side to line him with your pulsating entrance. He might’ve asked if you wanted a little preparation first, but when his silky head grazes your satin walls, he knows you’re more than wet.

Your pussy’s already drooling all over him, and he isn’t even inside you yet. 

The both of you exhale low moans when you finally slip him within you. Your walls are warm and wet — the softest velvet imaginable, and perfectly snug around his achingly hard cock. You keep your fingers wrapped around the tie on his chest, using it for leverage as you grind your hips back and forth over his thighs. 

Steve goes pussy drunk almost instantly, babbling like crazy at the feeling of your cunt sucking him further and further inside of you.

“Oh, my fucking god, baby,” he moans, the words sounding stiff as they spill from his tightening throat. “You feel so good. So tight, too— Shit. Pussy’s drooling all over me, sweetheart.”

He can’t see you from this angle — can’t see the way your dripping cunt takes him so well or the way your ass glides perfectly over his heavy balls. But he can picture it, can feel your slick drenching his pubic hair and happy trail.

He so desperately wishes it were possible to fuck you with his cock and have you ride his face at the same time. His mouth waters at the thought of tasting you.

But this is good for now. 

This is perfect.

With the energy he’s got left from his drifting senses, he grips the plush of your ass. He spreads your flesh apart, and the feeling of his fingers digging into your skin makes you clench around him. He almost loses it, then — when the smacking of your thighs and the wet squelch of your drenched pussy fills the small car, going slowly cloudy with your entwining heavy breaths.

“You’re so hot, Stevie,” you manage through labored pants. Your heavy-lidded gaze threatens to close, but you don’t want to stop looking at the boy below you. You want to commit all his features to memory — his pink kiss-bitten mouth, reddened cheeks, and honeyed eyes. You want the image of his fucked-out features to stain your mind forever.

“God, babe,” he sighs breathlessly, a moan mixed with a soft laugh. “I still don’t— I really don’t get it, sweetheart.”

“Are you seriously complaining?” you smirk as you glide your hips over his thighs again. 

Your swollen clit catches the polyester of the bottom of his shirt. You swear your eyes cross as your mouth opens in a low keen.

When your pussy clenches at the ethereal feeling, his cock jerk within your tightening velvet. Both of you are nearing your orgasms full throttle now. You can almost taste the sweet vanilla of your climax.

“No. Fuck no, I’m not complaining,” he assures with a shake of his head. “You’re just really fucking confusing and really fucking hot... Fuck—”

His head falls back again, exposing the golden tendons of his neck. You’d bite at them if you could stop looking at him. You smile even though he’s not looking at you — even though your thighs are burning and your knee is digging into the seat belt latch. “I can’t wait to fuck you when you get off.”

“Yeah?” he hums, eyes still halfway closed.

“Yeah,” you repeat with a nod, still rocking against his lap while his cock rubs relentlessly at the deepest parts of you. Your clit catches his shirt with every pass of your hips, sending a white-hot feeling of nearly unbearable pleasure shooting up your spine. “So I can get a real good look at you while you fuck me in this uniform.”

Steve squeezes his eyes shut as his jaw clenches. He tries not to come at the sound of your voice and how the words spill like honey from your mouth. 

Despite the less-than-ideal location — at the edges of a mostly empty lot — he doesn’t want this to be over quite yet. He wants to feel you gush on his cock over and over and over again. He’s afraid he won’t be able to focus on work until you do.

If he knew that slinging ice cream for three dollars an hour in a stupid sailor’s outfit would drive you this crazy, he would’ve dropped out of school and put in an application forever ago. 

#published by bug #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #stranger things x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fic #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fic #st drabbles #stevie drabble #bug's summer fic fest!

[pink-bandana-writes]

Comfort Character

Leonardo x Reader

Summary: When your comfort character comes crashing into your room, fresh from another reality, your world gets turned upside down in more ways than one…

Note: I really don’t know where this came from, but inspiration struck at 10:30 this evening and it is now 1:30 in the morning. Enjoy. I will most likely make this a series if y’all like it. <3 As always, the boys are aged up in this. (They're 23)

Warnings: None?

Word Count: 3.4k

Reader is: Twenty-three, female

It was a quiet, early summer night. One of those nights where the breezes make it cool enough to comfortably sleep. You were in your dark room, laying on your side on your phone, winding down for the night before going to sleep. You scrolled through Tumblr for a bit before finally clicking your phone off and setting it on your nightstand, closing your eyes to try and get some sleep.

CRASH!

You jolted, freezing in place. Had your bookcase collapsed? Had the legs of your desk spontaneously given out? You listened as something stirred on the floor, groaning. Great. Someone had broken in.

“Fuck…” They muttered under their breath.

Shaking, you reached for your phone, plucking it from the surface of the nightstand. For a moment, you thought about calling 9-11, but instead, your fingers found the app you used to control the strip lights you had suspended around your room, turning them on and bathing the room in gentle purple light.

Slowly, you sat up and looked down beside the bed, where the crash had originated. There, sitting on the floor staring up at you, was a large mutant turtle. Your eyes widened.

“D-don’t scream. I’m not going to—”

“Leonardo?” You whispered, voice catching in your throat as your heart hammered. Maybe you had drifted off to sleep, because this most definitely was a dream.

He froze, eyes locked on you. A shiver ran down your spine under his intense gaze. “Do I…have we met?” He asked quietly, those blue eyes of his never leaving you.

“Not…exactly.” You motioned to the poster on your wall, him and his brothers jumping past the title text, reading Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows.

Leo hesitated, taking a small step closer so he could get a closer look. “But that’s…we…”

“You…You’re real? This isn’t some…weird melatonin dream?”

“Not that I know of.” Leo murmured, still staring at the poster. “You can pinch me if you want. I don’t believe this either.”

“Glad to see your sense of humor is still intact.” You chuckled, unable to take your eyes off of him.

“Teenage?” Leo read, paying closer attention to the title. “I’m twenty-three.”

You chuckled. “It’s from 2016.”

“Oh. Yeah. That…makes sense.” He took a breath and turned his attention back to you. “Can I sit down?”

“Yeah, of course.” You scooted over in your bed and patted the space next to you.

He nodded gratefully and sat down on the bed, elbows resting on his knees, face in his hands as he walked himself through a mild existential crisis.

“So um…what happened? On your end, I mean. We don’t really…have interdimensional travel here.”

“Fight with Kraang. Got pushed through this…portal thing? I don’t know the word for it. And the next thing I knew, I was crashing through your closet. Sorry about that, by the way.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’ll help you clean it up.” He told you. “I…have a feeling I’m gonna be stuck here for a bit.”

“Donnie’ll figure it out.” You said it with confidence.

He smiled, turning to look at you. “You’re a fan, huh?”

“If the poster was any indication, yeah.” You chuckled and pointed up to the top shelf of your bookshelf in the corner of the room, which held your small collection of action figures. “I’ve got those, too.”

“They made action figures of us?”

“They made a lot more than that.” You chuckled.

He raised an eyebrow, curious. “Like what?”

“Cartoons, several movies, backpacks and funko pops and Halloween costumes…Oh, and comics. You guys are pretty much superheroes here.”

“Wow.” Leo thought for a long moment, looking a little choked up. “Wow. That’s…I mean…when humans in my reality see me they…scream. Sometimes they faint. And here, they think I’m a hero?”

“I mean, the general public might still be weird if they saw you out and about, but you’d be swarmed by nerds at a comic con.” You shrugged.

“What’s your name?” He asked, voice steady and smooth.

“(Y/N) (L/N).”

“Nice to meet you, (Y/N).” He smiled warmly, tilting his head. “So um…do you want me to clean this mess in the morning or right now?”

***

When the morning rolled around, you half-expected it to have all been a dream. And, looking around your room, which was clean thanks to Leo’s help, it could have been. Well, until you got out to your living room and saw the giant turtle sleeping on your couch.

God, he was a sight.

You’d pulled the curtains shut so none of your neighbors got a glance and called animal control or the SWAT team, and loaned him a few blankets and a plush pillow. His gear was laid across the dining room table, bandana off, leaving his face uncovered.

You stared at him for a long moment, shaking yourself out of it and turning into the kitchen to make breakfast. You thought, staring into the fridge, and then dug out the ingredients for scrambled eggs, setting a box of cereal on the counter too, so he had options. After all, you didn’t really know what the turtles liked to eat. Well, aside from pizza, that was.

“Morning.”

“Aah!” You jolted, turning to see him standing in the doorway. You held a hand to your heart. “Jesus, you’re quiet.”

“Sorry about that.” Leo chuckled. “Ninja training.”

“Right, right.” You laughed. “I’m making eggs, if you want any.”

“Scrambled?”

“Yeah.”

“Perfect. Do you, uh…need any help?” He asked.

“I’ve got it.”

“I can set the table.” He offered, blue eyes earnest in the daylight.

“Sure! There are dishes in that cabinet. The silverware is in that drawer.” You told him, motioning to both.

He nodded, gathering them before distributing them on the table. Meanwhile, you pulled a package of bacon out of the fridge and fried that up as well, figuring it wouldn’t hurt. He walked back into the kitchen once the table was set and leaned against the counter, watching as you cooked.

“So um…tell me about yourself. If you want. You don’t have to.” He stumbled over his words, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Well, I am also twenty-three. We were born the same year.”

“’99?”

“Yep.” You chuckled. “I graduated college like a year ago and…I’ve still been figuring it out since then. Working part time for the time being until I…decide how I want to spend the rest of my life.”

“Sounds fun.”

“Eh, kinda. I don’t know, there’s just a lot of pressure to get my ducks in a row. Everyone keeps acting like the clock is ticking double-time now that I’m in my twenties, but especially since I’m out of college. And it kinda feels like it, too. But yeah, I’m hanging in there, I guess.” You shrugged. “My Mom is on a business trip, by the way. We’ve got the place to ourselves for the next…two months or so.”

“Two months?? What kind of business trip is it?”

“She’s a TV show producer. Travels a bit, sets things up, comes back home for the next few months, and does it again when another show gets ready to start filming.”

“That’s cool.” Leo nodded.

“It is.” You agreed, plating up the eggs and bacon and walking with him to the table. You sat across from each other, and you tried not to, but you couldn’t help but stare a little. He caught your eyes, because of course he did.

“What?” He asked teasingly. “Do I have something on my face?”

“Oh! No, I just…I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without your mask before.” You admitted, cheeks reddening.

“Huh.” He thought about it for a moment. “We do wear them a lot, I guess.”

“Yeah.” You agreed. “It makes it easier for the kids watching to tell you apart.”

“Aww.” Leo smiled.

The thought of human children playing with toys of him, or dressing up as him for Halloween crossing his mind. It was something he didn’t even dare imagine in his own reality, but something that happened all the time in yours. It was a place where he wasn’t feared.

“Did you watch us growing up?” He asked.

You nodded. “A lot of kids did. They’ve been making Ninja Turtles cartoon since my parents were teenagers.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Woah, really?”

“Yeah, it kicked off in the 80s.” You told him, pulling out your phone and walking him through the turtles media of the last forty-ish years, stopping once you got to the version he’d come from. “And this is you guys, the Bayverse turtles—”

“Bayverse? What’s that mean?”

“As in Michael Bay.”

“Michael Bay??” Leo’s eyes widened. “Transformers Michael Bay? Random explosions Michael Bay?”

“Yeah, same guy.”

“Why?”

“Beats me.” You laughed. “He didn’t direct them, though, just produced them.”

“Alright.” He nodded. “Mikey’s still never gonna believe me.”

“Can’t say I’d blame him.” You grinned, finishing your breakfast.

“So when do you have to go to work?”

“I have the day off. Tomorrow, I go in at three, though.” You told him. “What do you want to do when that happens?”

“Well, I…should probably stay here, right?”

“That would probably be smart.” You chuckled. “Will you be okay on your own? I don’t get out until eleven.”

“I’ll be fine. You’ve got a TV and an internet connection. I’m sure I can stay occupied in the meantime,” he said. “Besides, if your closet is indeed the other end of the portal I came through, I should probably stay near it in case Donnie figures out something.”

“Oh yeah, right.” You nodded, the thought of you coming home to find Leo gone without a goodbye making you sick. You hoped whenever he had to leave, you would get to see him off, maybe even see his brothers.

“Where do you work?”

“At an aquarium, actually.” You chuckled. “I’ve always really loved aquariums.”

“I’ve never been.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Leo shook his head. “Where I’m from…being me prevents me from being able to do things sometimes, but I love who I am. I wouldn’t trade it.”

Pity swelled in your heart for him. He’d never been to an aquarium, a theme park, the movie theater, the mall, hell, even a grocery store. He’d had so much taken from him, he’d been barred from so many places. You were glad he and his brothers were proud of who and what they were, but you felt bad that they couldn’t even enjoy the simplest of things because of it.

And because of that, an idea sprouted in your head.

“Do you want to go to an aquarium?” You asked him, mischief glinting in your eye. “I’m in pretty tight with the guys who close tonight and…they’re fans of yours. We just marathoned the 2012 show together. I know they’d be cool about it.”

Leo thought for a long moment, a smile slowly overtaking that handsome face of his.

“I’d really like that.” He decided. It wasn’t like Donnie would crack interdimensional travel in one day, right? What was the worst that could happen?

***

When night fell, you drove to the aquarium, Leo sitting on the floor in the back of the car, ducking beneath the windows, but watching carefully as you drove, taking in the sight of the outside world, the suburbs under starlight. Finally, you reached the mall that housed the aquarium of your employment.

You pulled into a parking spot and dialed your coworker’s number, letting him know you’d arrived.

“Hey, what’s going on, (Y/N)? I’ve got the cart and the tarp. What the fuck are you bringing in here?” Ryan, your coworker asked.

“Is it drugs? I bet it’s drugs.” Your other coworker, Parker, chimed in the background.

“Where the fuck would she get that many drugs?”

“Good point.”

“Can we focus here? Listen, I’ll explain everything, but I need you to be chill, okay? You can’t scream and you definitely can’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Right, right, got it.” Ryan promised. “We’ll be cool.”

“Alright. Come on out. I’ll pop the trunk.” You told him, hanging up and looking back at Leo. “Mission accomplished.”

“Not yet.” He chuckled, adjusting himself to get ready to dive into that rolling plastic cart as soon as it reached your car.

“Right, right. But we’re like…halfway there, I’d say.”

“Sure.” He grinned, amused by your optimism.

You got out of the car and walked outside, popping the trunk just as the boys rolled the large, opaque plastic cart up to it.

“Okay, now you have to tell us.” Parker insisted, sliding the tarp off of the cart, readying himself for whatever was about to go in it.

“Well the good news is, it’s not drugs.” Leo said, climbing over your back seats and into their line of view. His heart pounded, waiting for the scream, but once again, it never came. Instead, the boys stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Holy fuck, Leonardo???” Ryan asked, turning to you for explanation. “Thee Leonardo???”

“This is way better than drugs.” Parker grinned, helping Leo get in and putting the tarp on top of him. You closed the trunk and walked with them inside.

Once the coast was clear, Leonardo very carefully climbed out and looked around. You were in the backrooms, which was storage, mostly. Not much going on back there, especially after closing.

“I’ve just gotta lock up that back door and then you should be good to roam around.” Ryan gave a thumbs-up. “I’m a really big fan, by the way. You’re my favorite. I think the movies you guys are in are way underrated.”

Leo chuckled, a giant grin on his face. “Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.”

“I’ll keep a look out.” Parker reported.

“Thanks, Parker.” You said, leading Leo out the doors and into the aquarium gift shop, which sat at the front entrance that connected to the mall.

“A gift shop?”

“Can’t have a tourist attraction without one.” You chuckled.

“That’s true. They’re everywhere in New York.” He said, following you back into the first area of the aquarium, one housing local fish. He read through the information panels on each one, nodding thoughtfully as he learned the new information.

“Come here.” You instructed him, leading him over towards a glass dome that sat on the bottom of one of the tanks, a gap beneath it a few feet tall, so guests could put their head in it and be surrounded by fish.

“That’s gonna be a tight fit.” Leo noted, eyeing up the small space, but getting down on the floor anyway, cramming himself inside. He looked around in the dome in wonder, watching as the fish swam around him. “Woah…”

“It’s one of my favorite things here.”

“What’s your favorite?”

“Further down.” You told him.

“Hey, would you get a picture of me?” He asked, handing you his shell phone, his camera app open.

“Of course.” You nodded, taking a picture of him in the dome. You got a few of him smiling and then waited for him to stop posing, looking around at a fish, and snapped a candid, the expression on his face peaceful. You handed the phone back.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, of course.” You offered your arm. “Need a hand out of there?”

“Definitely.” He took your hand and you helped him to his feet, his shell barely grazing the side of the entryway.

The two of you continued, stopping to admire the seahorses, the tropical fish, the clownfish that you couldn’t help but compare to Nemo. You stopped in the touch tank, where some starfish and anemone were so the kids could touch them.

Leo rinsed his hands off in the sink and knelt beside the tank, tentatively poking one of the plush pink starfish. “Do they have names?”

“Not officially, no, but I call that one Greg.”

He laughed. “Hello, Greg. Nice to meet you.”

“He said hi. I can tell. I’m a professional.”

“Ah, you speak starfish?” He grinned, teasing.

“Of course I do. It’s a prerequisite to work here.”

“Do you speak turtle, too?”

“I think I’ve been speaking it pretty well, I’d say.”

“I can’t help but agree.” He chuckled, shaking his head. He bid the starfish goodbye and the two of you reached the jellyfish tank, where the jellyfish were bathed in purple light, gently bobbing through the water.

“You can change the color of the light.” You told him, pointing to the buttons on the wall beside the tank.

“That’s really cool.” He reached forward and poked the blue button, and sure enough, the jellyfish were soon floating in brilliant blue light. He snapped a picture, smiling to himself.

The two of you meandered through the exhibits, Leo continuing to read the informational text, glancing up at you on occasion. You told him things about the fish and other sea creatures as you passed them, listing off the knowledge you’d picked up on the job. And then, finally, you reached it, your favorite thing in the aquarium, the tunnel.

The tunnel went through the biggest tank in the facility, which housed a few small sharks, sea turtles, and several fish. There was a large statue of a woman’s head on one wall, and other assorted decorations throughout. You loved standing in it and watching them swim over you.

“This is my favorite thing in the aquarium.” You told him, motioning above you.

“I can see why.” He nodded, staring as one of the sea turtles swam overhead. “Hey, what’s that thing on his shell?”

“Oh, it’s a weight patch. He got hit by a boat a few years ago and he can’t manage his buoyancy anymore. He has to live here so we can monitor him and change his patches when he grows.”

“Mmm.” Leo nodded, watching him go. “What’s his name?”

“Shelldon.”

Leo laughed. “Original.”

“Yeah, I think so too. It suits him.”

It was quiet for a moment, the only sounds that of the water. You looked up at him, and for the first time, really realized just how tall he was in real life. You always knew he was, but it was different when he was standing in front of you instead of on a screen.

Leo reached forward, taking your hand in his, tentative and gentle, very much still testing the waters and giving you every chance to reject him, but you didn’t, giving his hand a squeeze.

“Thank you. For this. It’s been really great.”

“Of course. I owe you, actually, so…this is starting to repay that.”

“Owe me? For what?”

“You’re my comfort character, Leo. Since high school, you’ve gotten me through a lot of rough patches. I honestly don’t know if I’d be standing here without you. You save all kinds of lives in your own reality, but…you’re saving them here, too, just in a different way. You’ve always been my hero.”

His expression softened and he let go of your hand, pulling you into his arms instead, a large three-fingered hand cradling your head while the other held you tight. You surrendered to his hold, a hand resting against his plastron and the other settling on his bicep.

After a long few moments, Leo pulled away, admiring you in the gentle blue glow of the giant tank. He brushed a piece of hair out of your face and leaned closer, once again giving you every opportunity to pull away, but instead, you did the opposite, closing the distance between you and pressing your lips to his.

He melted against you, lips melding against yours perfectly and carefully, a little unsure, but the adrenaline of it all fueling him. He finally found the person of his dreams, but of course it would be just his luck that they were from another reality.

“There’s no way this is happening.” You murmured, stars in your eyes as you looked up at him.

“It’s happening.” He insisted, kissing you again, a little more confidently this time, smiling against you as your arms wound around his neck, your chest pressed against his, your lips soft and warm and perfect. It was better than any first kiss he could have imagined. Never, ever did he dare to dream he’d be standing where he was, doing what he was with a person who hadn’t even screamed when he met them.

At this point, it was too good to be a dream. He felt like he was floating on Cloud 9 by the time he finally came back down for air.

“How long can we stay here?” He asked, afraid to even ask. He felt like Cinderella waiting for midnight to hit.

You glanced at your watch. “A little while, at least.”

“Okay.” He nodded, taking your hand in his again. Leo knew one thing for certain, he never wanted that moment to end.

Neither did you.

Tags: @thelaundrybitch, @turtle-babe83, @dilucsflame33, @happymoonangel, @scholastic-dragon

Tag lists open! Let me know if you want to be added! <3

#leonardo x reader #bayverse #tmnt #tmntagedup #tmnt imagine #tmnt aged up #leo x reader #leonardo imagine #leo imagine

[the-moon-lullaby]

Headcanons : The HSL Boys + Priya Drunk

N/A: So this random but the other day I was talking about MCL with a friend and as summer approaches and plans are being planned (chaotic ones mainly) we started to wonder how the LIs would be like when drunk. So I thought I'd share my opinion on the matter.

* little disclaimer : always drink alcohol with moderation and if you don't drink, don't let others influence you (f*ck them if they make fun of you about that, they're the problem) and if you do drink though, always drink glasses of water between glasses of alcohol (you'll thank yourself the next day)

𝙲𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚕 :

Emotional drunk

Not every time though, it doesn’t happen that often but when it does ,just give him a compliment or tell him something sad and you just launched the machine

This will be likely followed by this « I love you guys » speech (he’s probably really drunk at this point so his discourse doesn’t make sense but it the least of his concerns right now)

Will never admit it or accept to talk about it the next day (might even pretend that he doesn’t remember it as if it was enough to make everyone forget about it lol)

But when he’s not emotional, he’s actually extrovert ???

Like he talks with everyone and have good laugh with them (my boy has become a social butterfly for the night)

Would accept a cigarette if someone offers him one so PLS STOP HIM (he has to protect his voice come on)

Totally up for karaoke but don’t you dare try to make him sing these commercial songs he always complains about because he certainly won’t and he’ll rant about how they suck

Bonus point : I can picture him ✨slaying✨ a Lady Gaga karaoke. Like he knows the lyrics and even some bit of the choreo (probably won’t do it though, I guess that’s where he draws the line). That would depend on who is around tho (for example if Nathaniel is around, haha no. He’ll never let this guy catch him singing Bad Romance, no matter how drunk)

If he keeps drinking, he might throw up and he’ll try to be slick about it (but everyone knows that when he left in such a hurry, it was because the end was near for him)

He has the worst hangovers. It takes him 3 whole business days to get back on his feet (he has to get over the physical consequences but also the embarrassment. Because, ew, talking about feelings and all when he’s drunk cringes him so bad lol)

𝙻𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 :

Philosophically confused drunk ? 

Literally, anything could become matter to philosophical debates at this point and out of nowhere he’ll just start pondering existence and the meaning of life. 

And he has a lot to say (which is surprising according to the fact that Lysander isn’t really talkative in  general)

Can get anyone captivated because he speaks from the heart and he kinda make a point (he make people rethink their whole life so that can be a bit of a buzzkill as much as it can be fascinating. It’s 50/50)

Honestly, I struggle to imagine Lysander drunk because I don’t think there’s a lot of circumstances where he would be likely to drink a lot. Especially that I don’t think he’s really fond of strong alcohol (like vodka, rum or else) but more of a wine kinda guy. 

(Which is why that if he does get drunk, he’ll get a dreadful hangover the next day because there’s nothing like a wine hangover y’all)

I feel like if he’s not pondering existence, he’ll be just listening at people (you know the people that overshare when drunk, spilling the tea without judgment or just telling their life story, I kinda love these people)

He would be a really good listener and would conclude the conversation by a inspiring quote he just made up (you can’t silence the poet in him)

If you leave him on his own for too long tho, he might get an existential crisis (like « Where is my life leading me ??? What should life be like ?? What’s after life ??? How do you know you’re living and not surviving ???) Yeah, he asks himself a lot of questions and that can be overwhelming (relatable)

If people pressuring to sing, he’ll just be annoyed so don’t. He don’t really like to sing when drunk because he knows that this won’t be his best performance 

Bonus point : I believe he’s the kind of person that can get sleepy from alcohol (add to that the fact that he spends his days working hard) so he’s likely to be one of the first that want to leave the party lol

𝙰𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗 :

If you’re going to an event or a party where Armin might get drunk, please bring a leash with you

Not but for real, he’s the runner type of drunk 

Totally that friend that’ll randomly disappear in the middle of the party to do some side quests without warning ANYONE

So everyone’s start wondering : WHERE DID HE GO AGAIN ? 

And he’ll come back as if nothing happened with some random items he found on the way (bonus : or some random guy he talked with and now they’re buddies ???)

I said he was a runner but it’s because he likes to be chased. He just finds it fun and it becomes sort of a escaping mission in his mind 

(That’s funny because usually you can’t get him to do anything that requires physical investment lol)

If you guys finally catch him and make him stay in sight he’ll just be super friendly 

He’s kind of get "happy drunk" and everything’s seems so funny 

Alcohol really does cloud his judgment so he’ll get some stupid ideas that sounds to him like genius-like behaviours (it’s not, pls stay on your chair dear)

I feel like if he finds a partner in crime, it’s over, he’s out of control (and that might very well be Nathaniel but I’ll go back to it later)

Would dance (pretty badly)

He really can’t sit still for more than two minutes so it’s better if you keep an eye on him at all time (he’s basically the result of if a 9 year-old was drunk which can be as entertaining as it can get exhausting)

Would ‘strategically throw up’ (you know when some people will make themselves throw up when they feel like they’re going to be sick so that they can keep going)

𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚕 :

He doesn’t get drunk often (it is actually pretty rare as he said in UL) and he says that it’s because he doesn’t really like the taste of alcohol

However, that’s only one part of the truth, the other part is that he’s out of control when drunk 

Literally, his brain seem to stop cooperating when he reaches a certain point

Will have no filter about what he says (says anything that comes to his mind and that can be problematic)

Could easily get into fights because of that but also because his patience is very thin when drunk. Not that he’ll be looking for a fight but he won’t take any shit (literally the  "fuck around and find out" meme)

Would talk to people then looses patience and leave in the middle of the conversation (then the person in front of him is just like « ??? »)

He’s a flirt x10. He’s a flirt sober but when he’s drunk it’s even worst because as I said, he has no filter anymore

He just seem horny and he's not even subtle about it (if he's here with his partner, he'll want to go have a “talk” at some point and no, drink some water that's for the best)

(Which I believe that back in UL, may have caused some « problematic black-out get with », another reason why he doesn’t like to drink - self awareness king)

Now, I said that Nathaniel could very much end up being Armin’s partner in crime 

I meant it. It’s just that Nathaniel when drunk just wants to have fun and has no patience, Armin on the other end, can’t stay still more than 2 minutes and just wants to mess around so that kinda of a match

Chaotic duo (the chaos is real, if you thought drunk Armin was hard to manage, you don’t want to imagine drunk Nathaniel by his side)

I can picture them doing shots together even though they hate the taste of it (but just for fun you know)

However, you have to admit that despite the chaos they cause (in the limits of the law ofc. Well, most likely hum hum), they are very entertaining 

𝙺𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗 :

Clingy drunk. Whether he’s clingy with his girlfriend or his friends, he just can’t help it

It’s not like he’s going to do the emotional speeches and all

It’s more like he’ll randomly hug them. If he’s here with his girl, he always has an arm around her or he’s holding her hand (cute)

If there’s pets where you guys are, you lost him

He’s going to spend the night playing with them (and that way he can avoid talking with the people he doesn’t know, clever)

He would also be the one that want to go on a walk in the middle of the night because why not ? It’s mostly because he wants to get some fresh air (I have the feeling that Kentin wouldn’t feel at his most comfortable in the middle of a party)

He rely on his more extroverted friends to introduce him to other people (because he’d rather don’t to do it on his own)

I think that just like Lysander, Kentin wouldn't really be the type of person to get drunk because he can hardly handle alcohol. Maybe a beer here and there but that’s it. So it got to be a very special occasion for him to get in that state

Would get sleepy from alcohol too

𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚢𝚊 :

She’s the life of the party 

The kind of person that won’t let anyone stay sat for to long and then proceed to drag them to the dance floor 

Also a master at making cocktails and she’ll invent a new recipe by the end of the night with the alcoholic beverages’ leftovers 

(The drink could seem nasty but it’s really good ??? Like how ???)

Would get political if someone brings up the topic

Because you know my girl don’t joke about that 

Really, that could lead to an endless debate about societal issues 

But no matter how drunk she is, she still got that charisma and that eloquence (which I wonder how but I just can’t imagine Priya drunk slurring her words ???) so give it a few moments and she has an audience 

I mean, she could also get an audience while doing karaoke or dancing ‘cause she really has this energy that captivates people 

Great at comforting people who are ‘sad drunk’ or at handling those who are getting out of hand (we can think of the chaotic duo mentioned above)

She knows how to hold her liquor quite well so it’s very rare that she ends up being a mess (queen)

She sounds like so much fun to hang out with honestly 

Priya <3 (we won’t talk about her arc in LL, I am still in denial and I intend to keep gaslighting myself into believing that it never happened)

Hope you guys enjoyed it !

#mcl #mclul #mcl priya #mcl nathaniel #mcl alternate life #mcl lysander #mcl castiel #mcl armin #mcl kentin #amour sucre #my candy love lysander #my candy love castiel #my candy love nathaniel #my candy love armin #my candy love kentin #my candy love priya #my candy love #my candy love university life #amor doce

[emeraldtart]

TWST X Ben 10 (ft. Methanosian/Swampfire!Yuu)

Guess who just get back into Ben 10 brain rot?

So Swampfire!Yuu is a random Methanosian from Undertown. They were just minding their own business one night, when a horse-pulled carriage drove straight towards them.

When they woke up, they're in a dark place. They heard a voice, smelt smoke and thought, 'Oh, good thing I'm fire proof... Wait, I have METHANE GAS in me, shi-'

Needless to say, everyone is alerted by a huge explosion coming from the Mirror Chamber.

Crowley came to the chamber just in time to see something came out of the coffin.

It was a pair of legs, but not for long.

Because right in front of his eyes, the dismembered lower half regenerates a torso, then a pair of arms, and finally a head with red and yellow petals.

The people in Twisted Wonderland better gets used to this fast, because this is going to be a common sight later on.

Somehow, throughout the entire ordeal, the ceremonial robes are alright.

So after the trauma that is seeing an entire alien regenerate their entire body, Crowley asks the Dark Mirror to send Yuu back.

"This soul is a seedling from a world beyond the stars, far from my reach. This soul is not from this world,"

With that being said, Crowley takes Yuu to the library in order to research more about their home.

Crowley: You know, since wherever you came from is not listed in any history books... The only explanation is that you're from another planet,"

Methanosian!Yuu:... Yeah, about that...

After Crowley got past his initial shock and existential crisis of Yuu being an alien FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION AT THAT, he let Yuu lives in Ramshackle until he finds a way to send Yuu back to their home.

Yuu likes Ramshackle. The dead plants and weeds reminded them of their homeworld, Methanos. Which doesn't help their homesickness at all.

Yuu accepts Grim wholeheartedly, since they understand the feeling of being an outcast. Since their species has such a rotten smell (that also got worse when summer comes), not much aliens even like to be near them.

Yuu likes to garden. But every single vegetation is native to Methanos. In other words it's either explosive, flammable, poisonous or a combination of two or more. Apparently they keep the seeds inside their body, which is something.

The only exception is the plants that was given to Yuu by Malleus. Malleus give Yuu exactly one rose, and the next week there was a giant rosebush covering one wall of the Ramshackle Dorm.

Swampfire!Yuu is self-conscious about their smell. They don't have many friends outside of their Methanosian ones because of it.

Although, over time Jack, Ruggie and Leona got over it. It became a background smell of sorts, and after Chapter 3 they no longer mind it.

Unfortunately, Che'nya and Cheka doesn't. The moment Yuu came near them they fainted.

Because of their insane regenerative abilities, Yuu always threw themselves into danger.

The first year squad are unfazed after a while.

So when Yuu was smashed flat by a rubble, and everyone is panicking, they're just chilling because they all knew they will regenerate a few seconds after.

Blooming

And let's not forget about the blooming.

I personally headcanon that when Methanosians blooms, they need more nutrients so that the process become quicker and much less stressful.

They're also much more aggressive when it happens.

Unfortunately, no matter the AU, Yuu is still the prefect. So Crowley still give Yuu work to do even though Yuu already warns him about their blooming coming soon.

When the week rolls in, Yuu became much more snappy and easier to anger.

They've also been eating a lot of meat, to the point that they've been eating Grim's tuna.

They've been skipping class, so Ace, Deuce, Grim, Jack, Epel, Ortho and Sebek tries to find Yuu.

They didn't find where Yuu is. They've searched everywhere.

The greenhouse, Ramshackle, the library. They even checked the other classrooms.

So as the group go to the dining hall to rest before going back on their search, they heard screaming from the hall.

Jack smelt the rotten smell that accompanies Yuu, and lead the group to the kitchen.

Where they saw a group of ghost cooks and fairies trying to stop Yuu from devouring every piece of meat in the kitchen.

Jamil, Leona, Floyd and Ruggie are also there. Leona and Floyd tries to pry Yuu off using brute force, but even though Leona is using his claws Yuu doesn't seem to care.

Jamil is shooting magic at Yuu, hoping they would stop all of this madness. Of course, it doesn't do anything when they could just heal their injuries.

Ruggie used Laugh With Me, but Yuu just uses their vines to grab the meat. And Ruggie can't control those.

Yuu smacked Ruggie with their vines and rush out of the kitchen, yelling about how it isn't enough.

So everyone went to Crowley asking him explain what's going on.

When they find out, they were equal parts confused and equal parts livid.

Confused because all that happened... Is because Yuu is going through some sort of alien puberty?

And livid because Crowley knew and he ignored all the warnings that Yuu put up.

Fortunately, Deuce got an idea on how to solve the problem.

They first went to Scarabia and asks for every single meat available, and laid it out at Ramshackle.

Malleus helps out after he heard what happened.

Malleus: That explains why the Prefect was raiding Diasomnia's pantry this morning.

Leona: Excuse me, they did what?

Turns out Diasomnia's pantry was the first to be raid, to everyone's surprise.

Malleus just let them because he thought its just normal alien behaviour.

At least that saves Diasomnia from Lilia cooking lunch.

Now comes the hard part; Yuu.

Fortunately, they were hungry enough that they willingly chase Ace, Deuce and Grim riding on Jack and Epel and Sebek riding on horseback, a piece of juicy beef in hand as bait.

So the guys all watched from the safety within Ramshackle as Yuu began devouring the meat to their heart (do their species even have one?) content.

And then. They stopped.

And everyone panicked as Yuu's face began to peel off.

It lasted for a very tense half an hour, but they began to move again.

"What happened? Why am I outside?"

Their blooming went without a hitch, and Yuu is back to their senses.

If you didn't count the massive damage they did when they were hangry.

Kalim celebrated Yuu's 'coming of age' with a barbecue, since there's still leftover meat outside.

Yuu thoroughly apologise later on for what they've done.

#Twst #Twisted wonderland #Ben 10 #Ben 10 alien force #Ben 10 af #ben 10 omniverse #Swampfire #Methanosian #Methanos #Au #Yuu #Grim #ace trappola #deuce spade #dire crowley #divus crewel #leona kingscholar #floyd leech #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #epel felmier #ortho shroud #sebek zigvolt #lilia vanrouge #malleus draconia #kalim al asim #jamil viper #chenya #cheka kingscholar

[cannibalisticskittles]

OC + Random Associations

tagged by @fiendpact, thank youuuuuu <3

Animal: i always waver between a dog and a cat with her – she's got the teeth and claws of a cat, the propensity for sleeping in and laying around in random bits of sunlight, and her mouth has a bit of that catlike :3 curve, but she is also extremely full of love in a way that radiates out from her much like a dog enthusiastically wagging its tail around exciting new people. either way tho – house pets that will love you deeply and also grievously wound someone who tries to harm you.

Colors: gold + vibrant blues and greens

Month: september?? i will be honest, i hadn’t had a month association before 

Songs: make the grade - jack conte, i won't hurt you - the west coast pop art experimental band, my dog’s eyes - zammuto, existential crisis hour - kilo kish, birdsong - regina spektor.

Number: 1 because she always feels lonely maybe, haha

Plants: asphodel – and I always think of strawberry blossoms when I think about what flower would best fit her, even though she is Very Allergic To Strawberries. sorry babe, but the imagery of the humble little strawberry flower is just too fitting.

Scents: ash, sulfur, whatever the hell bat guano smells like bc of all her spell components – but also something pleasantly warm and earthy, like rocks in a hot spring

Gemstone: i feel like i’ve got to go with amethyst bc. purble. 

Time of day: late late late at night, creeping into the very early morning, when the world is quiet and you can’t help but hear your thoughts (or your worries) clearer than ever before 

Season: autumn – the warm colors and dry crackle of shed leaves for her well, and even more so because she’s recently accepted the patronage of equinox, an autumn eladrin-flavored archfey

Places: caves with bioluminescent plants/fungi, places with strange and magical flora like the feywild, but also busy, crowded city streets where it's easy to get lost in the noise 

Food:  stew! and traveling rations like hardtack or jerky or dry, aged cheeses – things that would keep for a long time on the road. she’s an obligate carnivore, but she does try to pad her diet with as much non-meat as she can.

Drinks: really shit ale that you can buy in bulk at the local tavern as you daydrink with your adventuring party and discuss what steps to take next to fulfill your quest as you also take turns sneakily refilling your friend’s mug so that he remains convinced that it’s magically self-sustaining. (and also, a shitload of water. to wash down the dry ass jerky and hardtack.)

Element: fire

Seasonings: cinnamon and clove! also maybe saffron because she spent so much of her life traveling with trading caravans and saffron seems like the kind of coveted shit that would justify long-ass journeys by guarded caravan.

Sky: night, somewhere in the wilderness where it's so dark that the stars fill the sky everywhere you look

Weather:  hot, dry, windless summer days – if faerûn had wildfire watch levels, it would be stuck on extreme 

Magical power: fireball babyyyyyy (+ a dash of hellish rebuke)

Weapons: daggers. and more daggers, hidden in various places on her body. and teeth. so many sharp teeth. 

Candy/Sweets: honey candy, soft caramels – and pop rocks. she would be delighted by pop rocks.

Method of long distance travel: walking. just… long slogs on foot. walking across distances that are truly miserable to traverse – the sort where you’re ready to give up halfway through but can’t, because turning back would take as long as soldiering on, so you soldier on anyway? that. 

Artstyle: my memory of art styles has not really been brushed up on since my middle school days, i admit, but i think i lean towards impressionism for her

Fear: being useless, being alone, being Known; and, of course, the combination of those fears combined – having someone get close enough to her that it feels like they really know her and see her for who she is and then reject her as not being worth their time. 

Mythological creature: fairies/fae! they're beautiful, terrible, awful little winged shitheads and she adores them. and, to a lesser degree, unicorns, lmao. an association with and an assumption of goodness while also being fully willing and capable of skewering someone.  

Piece of stationery: an old, old notebook filled with small, cramped notes; various plans and calculations and details about people she comes across (‘naming day is just before the winter solstice; remember, they dislike most sweets and pastries’)

Three Emojis: 🥰🔥✨

Celestial body: stars, but distant and far off – she views herself as one of many, not standing out, and she’s very content with that! (imagining herself as one star in a sea of stars would delight her, actually. would feel a little less lonely.) perhaps she is a sun to someone, but that will never be how she sees it.

tagging @amphyn, @biknuckles, @brekkie-e, @fangmich, @lesbianaloy, @meishuu, @riddlcr, @stellamancer, @wasserpl – no pressure tho, haha

#amity tag

[whatsnewalycat]

Just Dumb Enough to Try

Chapter 4: For Reasons Unknown

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: angst, swearing, smoking, alcohol use, cannabis use, pining, existential crisis mode activated, slur for sex workers and promiscuous people, misogyny, confrontation

Series Summary: In 1993, you met Javier Peña in San Antonio. You made an emotional and physical connection with him. Now it's 1998 and you're starting a new chapter of life in Laredo with your fiancé. And who else walks back into the picture, but the man who left you high and dry five years ago.

Chapter Summary: Our heroes reunite!

Notes: Chapter title from "For Reasons Unknown" by The Killers. Let me know what you think. Music is a big inspiration in writing this, so I'm making a Spotify playlist for each chapter. Playlist for this chapter. posted on AO3 here.

Ch 1 : Ch 2 : Ch 3

Heights Elementary School, Laredo, TX

May 29, 1998

Realizing Javier was living in the same town as you was like finding Waldo, it’s so obvious in hindsight. He was right there. And now… you’re seeing him everywhere.

At the Pour House, grocery store (again), church (again), on walks around town, even the fucking movie theater you go to on Wednesdays when Dan is at softball practice. He was leaving the showing of Godzilla while you were getting popcorn. Hand on the small of some girl’s back, you could swear he looked straight at you.

But neither of you have acknowledged each other’s presence. You can’t decide if you even want to talk to him, otherwise you would have approached him as soon as you recognized him.

… Well, maybe.

The feeling could be mutual. Or maybe you’ve been right this whole time- he doesn’t remember you because you mean nothing to him.

You’re not sure which option is worse; they both leave you gutted. You’ve been lost in the “what ifs”, “maybes”, and memories swirling around in your brain, overanalyzing the situation as often as you could. You’re pretty sure Claudia is sick of hearing about your fixation when you two talk on the phone, but she’s the only person you can talk to about it. Regardless of whether or not he intended it, you feel spurned.

Today you said goodbye to your classroom full of second-graders. After they all go home for the summer, you collapse at your desk and finally give yourself permission to feel everything you’ve been pushing away.

You mourn the loss of the person you always wanted to be, your dream job, the life you always wanted to live. You accept the rejection from Javier. You acknowledge how lonely you are; the only person who really knows you is Claudia, who is back home in Minnesota.

Hell, even that’s questionable. Do you even know yourself anymore?

—

When you get back to the house, Dan insists on the two of you going up to the Pour House to celebrate your last day of work. You’re pretty committed to feeling sorry for yourself but it might cheer you up so eventually agree. He doesn’t seem to notice your puffy, bloodshot eyes. You do your best to reduce the swelling and shift out of pity-party mode into forget-about-this-day-party mode.

—

The heavy door slams behind you as you enter the Pour House. The sickly sweet stench of mixed drinks mingles with the cigarette smoke fog and slaps you in the face as soon as you step in the door. Kim waves you and Dan over to a booth, her shiny red nails reflecting off the light dangling above the wobbly table. Dan orders drinks for the three of you while you slide into the booth next to Kim. Your sweaty legs stick to the pleather upholstery as you scoot in, making you grimace.

Kim is in jean shorts and a tube top that’s the same shade of red as her nails. In this lackluster place, her sun-tanned skin seems to glow. Her long light brown hair is up in a high pony, swinging behind her as she asks, “So, how are we feeling?”

You give her a half-hearted smile and shrug, “I’m ok. Today was hard.”

She waves off your lame attempt to talk about it, “Oh girl, everything will be fine. I’m so happy for you! You’re going to catch your stride being at home. Mom and Lizzy always tell me how much they love it.”

Lizzy, Dan’s older sister, is a clone of her mother: Epitome of a Dallas Blonde, homemaker since marrying an engineer at 26, entire life revolving around her husband and children. PTA, soccer, micromanaging, supper ready when husband gets home, minivan, gossiping- all that. A stark realization dawns on you.

Shit, is that what I’m getting myself into? Is that what I want?

Too late to back out now. All my eggs are in this basket.

Your stomach drops and a familiar stinging returns to your eyes. Dan gently sets down the three gin and tonics as he takes a seat across from you, which interrupts your spiral.

“Gin and tonic? Oh shit, so it’s going to be that kind of a night?!” Kim exclaims, picking one of the cups up, then wrapping her Angelina Jolie lips around the straw.

“Well, good. I need something a little stronger than beer today,” you chuckle, hiding your reddened face behind your hair.

The three of you bullshit and drink, and before you know it, you’re chain smoking cigarettes and talking loudly over each other. The bar gradually fills up with people until all the seats in the place are taken and people are standing around in clusters. There’s a thick haze in the air from lingering cigarette smoke. The sound of the jukebox playing old country music is mixing with the chorus of drunkards talking, singing, yelling, whatever. You feel fuzzy, floating comfortably in your seat. Too fucked up to feel much of anything at all, which is currently bliss.

“Oh look who’s here- Agent Javier Peña,” Kim practically hollers. You follow her gaze to the front of house, where the object of your fixation is making his way up to the crowded bar.

“Agent? Whatsssupwith him?” you slur, trying to pretend you don’t know anything about this stranger.

Dan bites down on his straw and smirks playfully at his sister, “Yeah Kim, what’s up with him?”

“Oh my god don’t go there, Daniel,” she chucks an ice cube at him, then looks over at you, eyes sparkling, “He’s Chucho’s son. Just got back from Columbia where he was DEA, took down like… the biggest cartel. Some of then government and shit? Escobar, too.”

You pop a cigarette between your lips and raise an eyebrow before lighting it, “Ssseems likeuh real dick.”

Dan giggles, “Kimberly’s been wanting to bump uglies with him as soon as she learned he’s back.”

“So what? He’s hot n my friend Beth said he’s great in bed," she shoots back, "Also don't say bump uglies, that's so gross."

You flinch and wrinkle your nose, wishing you knew none of this.

“Well yeah, he got lots of practice banging hookers in Columbia is what I heard.” Dan teases, and adds as an afterthought, “And desperate sluts like Beth, I guess.”

Kim scoffs at him. His scathing words activate a rage inside you.

“I’m tiredniwanna go home," you demand to Dan, throwing your lit cigarette into your drink cup. You need to get the fuck out right now. He throws his hands up defensively, then goes to pay the tab.

Kim searches the bar for Javier with only one eye open, sipping from her drink, “I think I'm gonna go for it.”

You don’t respond, because it doesn’t really matter what you say, she’s going to do it. You scoot out of the booth, Kim stumbles after you and beelines up to Javier at the bar. You trail behind, waiting for Dan to be done paying the tab. She bumps into him, causing him to turn around and acknowledge her. He looks her up and down, blatantly drinking in her beauty.

“Ready to go, babe?” Dan asks you. You nod.

Javier’s dark eyes flick behind Kim and snap to your face for just a moment. He furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head quizzically. And he sees you, there’s no mistaking it. Kim must say something that brings his attention back, because his gaze shifts back to her and he puts on a disarming smile.

Puke.

(Thankfully you don’t)

—

The next morning, you can’t say as much. You’re so hungover you can’t do your Saturday morning errand walk. Surely, this is the end. This is death.

Instead of walking, you opt to smoke a joint in your car on the way to the grocery store. It does help with the nausea, which is nice. You put on your sunglasses and run in for a few essentials, and also Alka-Seltzer (which, in your opinion, could be considered an essential for today). While you’re walking back to your car, someone approaches you from behind.

“Hey, excuse me,” a voice calls out to you.

You whip around and, predictably, it’s Javier. He’s shutting the door to his red pickup truck and walking towards you, as handsome as ever, charming grin playing across his face.

You’re completely disheveled, last night’s makeup, hair up in the messiest bun, stoned to the bone, wearing pajamas, and (not to be dramatic but) actively fighting death. Your stomach lurches but you manage not to vomit.

“I’m sorry to bother you, I just… I’ve seen you around a few times and wanted to introduce myself. I’m Javi,” he extends his hand, then realizes your arms are occupied with grocery bags and takes it back, “What’s your name?”

A hollow laugh escapes you.

He doesn’t remember you. He has no idea who you are. The person you’ve been dreaming about for five years has absolutely no idea who you are. To have your fear confirmed is… devastating. You’re not sure if it’s the hangover, the emotional exhaustion, or the weed, but you are more enraged than anything.

Your temper takes over before you can process what you’re going to say. You shake your head, push your sunglasses up so you can look him in the eyes as you seethe, “Are you fucking kidding me, Javier? You don’t know who I am? Go fuck yourself.”

He flinches like you slapped him across the face. You turn on your heel, ignoring the way your brain sloshes around due to the quick movement, while his face drops into a confused frown.

Maybe you overreacted. But do you feel bad? No, not really. He deserved that.

—

Unfortunately, you don’t die from the hangover. You’re still feeling its effects on Sunday during church. After the service, Javier spots you outside with the rest of the smokers and tries to talk to you. You ignore him, stomp out the cigarette, then sit in your car until Dan comes out.

Dale and Cheryl grill hotdogs for everyone at their house after church. You are there physically, but mentally you are completely checked out. Kim doesn’t mention anything about her attempt to hookup with Javier, and you, frankly, would rather not know.

By Monday, you’re feeling relatively normal. So what else do you do, but go to the bar?

—

Your eyes take a moment to adjust to the dark once you step in the door. It slams behind you and all 3 people in the place look up at the noise. You ignore them and sit down at the bar. Gina lays down a coaster preemptively and you tell her you’ll get a draft beer.

You set your purse down on the barstool next to you then fish out a journal, pencil, and your portable CD player. After you slide your headphones on and press play on Odelay, you start doodling. Gina sets down your beer and you take a sip.

This… this is good.

About a half an hour passes when someone walks in the door and illuminates the bar with sunshine. They pull out the barstool next to you and sit down. You look up into the mirror behind the bar and see that it’s Javier. Your heart flutters. He’s staring at your paper. Your heart starts thumping against your ribcage.

If I don’t move, maybe he won’t see me.

Alas, you can see his lips moving in the mirror and know he’s trying to talk to you. You push your headphones back around your neck and turn to him, putting on your best don’t fuck with me face and spit, “What?”

He looks taken aback. You hold your piercing gaze steady. He points to your page, “I asked you what you’re drawing.”

“It’s none of your business,” You snap the journal closed and cross your arms in front of you.

He jaw hardens and nostrils flare, “Listen, I don’t know what your problem is-“

Genuine laughter bubbles out of you at the audacity of this man. You resist the sadistic urge to tease him.

He narrows his eyes at you while you’re laughing at him. His jaw slackens and eyebrows raise. He snaps his fingers to point at you, and says your name.

Your laughter stops and you sputter, “wh-what?“

“I remember you now. How could I forget that laugh,” he smirks. Gina sets down a beer in front of him and gives the two of you a suspicious glance.

“Could I get another please?” You ask her before turning back to him once she walks away, “Wow I can’t believe you actually remembered me… eventually. I’m flattered,” you roll your eyes and empty your glass.

He sighs and runs his hands through his hair, “I just- I guess I wasn’t expecting to ever see you again. Let alone in Laredo.”

“I live here with my fiancé,” you tell him curtly, flashing your engagement ring at him.

“Who’s that?”

Your head gets hot again.

“Look, I’m not going to sit and chit chat with you like you didn’t disappear off the face of the earth immediately after…” you lower your voice to a forced whisper at the end of your sentence as Gina returns with your beer. You nod thanks to her.

He doesn’t say anything, just lights a cigarette, and offers one to you. You take it. It’s the least he can do. The two of you sit in a quiet that can only be described as tense.

Your jaw is clenched shut so hard it starts aching. As you ash your cigarette, you notice your hands are shaking. You try to stay in your anger, but it nosedives into the grief you’ve been bottling up all weekend.

The feeling is all-consuming and demands to make itself known, gnawing a hole in your gut. You concentrate on the cherry of your cigarette and try to ignore the lump in your throat. If you talk, you’re afraid you will start bawling and that would be so embarrassing right now.

He puts out his cigarette in an ashtray, plucks yours out from between your fingers, and extinguishes it. He pulls your hand gently between his, causing you to jump. With a sharp inhale, your eyes shoot to his. His face looks pained. Those warm eyes bore into you, and he presents a plea, “I’m so sorry for leaving like that. You deserved better.”

Your face crumples.

Fuck.

A small sob escapes you as the tears start falling. Your chest aches. You didn’t realize how much you needed to hear that. How did he know that’s exactly what would break you? Despite the fact that you’re crying in public, he doesn’t waver. He holds your hand and doesn’t even flinch.

“So fucking embarrassing,” you whimper while dabbing your tears on a napkin you find in your purse. He grins at this and you return a wistful smile.

“I’m glad our paths have crossed again,” he assures, giving your hand one more squeeze before releasing you.

“I’m sorry for crying," you pout.

He chuckles, “Tears don’t scare me.”

A comfortable silence falls between you. You open your journal and share some of your doodles with him.

“I really like this one.” he points to a sketch of a deer on one of the pages, “Reminds me of these deer figurines my mom would collect.”

“Yeah?” you look down at the fawn you drew a few days ago, then back to him, “Do you want it?”

He smiles, “Can I?”

You tear the page out and give it to him.

“If I ask about your boyfriend are you going to yell at me again?” He asks while sliding the paper into the shirt pocket of his purple short-sleeved button up.

“Ok well first of all, you deserved to be yelled at,” you roll your eyes.

“Fair.”

“Second of all: no, I guess. Third of all-“

“-Third of all isn’t a thing, continue.”

You glare at him and say, louder this time, “Third of all, yes it is, shut up.” Javier guffaws, you continue, “Fourth of all, he’s my fiancé.”

“What’s his name?”

“Dan Baker”

He nods, “I don’t think I’ve been introduced, but I see him around. I know his sister. The Bakers are a big deal here.”

“Says you,” you scoff, vaguely recalling how Kim talked about him as if he were a legend. After you finish your beer, you signal Gina for another.

He does not take the bait to change the subject to himself, “Is that who you were with at the bar on Friday? Did you get a teaching job out here? That’s what you were going to school for, right?”

“Yes, yes and… yes,” you frown, “Well, kind of. My last day teaching was Friday.”

“What, why?”

“To be at home. We don’t need my income and I can work on… wedding planning, I guess. Eventually a stay-at-home mom,” you shrug.

He rolls his head towards you, “How do you feel about that?”

“It’s… it kind of sucks, actually, if I’m being completely honest,” you stare off at nothing in particular and frown, “Teaching has been my plan for so long. I don’t know what to do anymore… I don’t know who I am, or- or what I’m doing.”

His jaw tightens as he furrows his brow and hums in acknowledgment.

You’re suddenly aware that you’re being more open than you’re comfortable with typically, so, naturally, you try to back peddle with a chuckle, “Sorry… that was too much information.”

“No no, I’m just thinking. I know exactly what you’re saying,” he pauses to mull it over some more, then starts again carefully, “I dedicated my life to the DEA. And now that it’s over… Everyone keeps telling me about how happy I must be to be home… and I try to be happy, but mostly I just feel… lost.”

“Exactly!” You nod rapidly, “It’s like… well, shit, my purpose is gone, now what?”

“Fuck if I know,” he mumbles around a cigarette as he lights it.

Fuck if I know.

[ Next Chapter ]

#narcos fanfiction #javier peña x ofc #javier pena fanfiction #javier peña x you #javier peña #javier peña x reader #narcos fic #javi pena #pedro pascal characters #pedrostories #jdett

[itlivesproject]

this is by far your best chapter yet I HAD SIT IN SILENCE MULTIPLE TIMES THROUGHOUT THIS CHAPTER TO COMPREHEND IT ALL

seeing the pine springs set again is so exciting

VERY BRIEF TOM MENTION 🎉

abel pulling rowan to the side🥺

“his smile is a brilliant thing” i will cry.

THE CG IS SO COOL WELL DONE ART TEAM

abel saying “you come back to me” my stomach FLIPPED

so astrid and vince knew the father ….. curious and curiouser

WE DID IT WE SAVED HARPER OMG FINALLY

devon WHAT THE HELL

i am actually just sat here agape

GROWN UP JANE???? guys my mental stability cannot deal with this

she is so pretty :(

and seeing noah again is so lovely:(

AND HE GOT TO GO TO CULINARY SCHOOL? AND FOLLOW HIS DREAMS???? i am on the floor.

this is actually so sad

you cannot force me to stab him.

…. i guess you can?

i am in tears

WAIT WE CAN REUNITE HIS SOUL ?!?!?

NOAH’S SOUL IS WHOLE AGAIN MY PRECIOUS BOY

omg we get to play as harper and reunite with our friends

seeing the gang again had me wanting to hysterically scream with excitement JDJWJSHDHWH

the part with just tom and harper together made me cry so much i love them

HE MADE HER A LIST OF ALL THE THINGS SHE MISSED ARE YOU KIDDING ME ??? sweetest boyfriend ever

ANOTHER CG???? this is my favourite of them all so far it is so so beautiful WOW seriously huge thank you to the art team you are wonderful wonderful people

HE’S BACK I HAVE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS

no beanie noah has arrived … and naked?

“you’re the shadow sewn to my feet” i am WHAT?

“you’re not rowan” GUYS I WILL HAVE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

uhhhhhhhhhhhh

“i… am the power made human. i am power locked inside a human shell.” W H A T (also the endless summer vibes of that line are IMMACULATE)

i am not kidding when i say i had to put the game down and sit in silence for a good 5 minutes

i am flabbergasted

like actually speechless i have no idea how to conclude this other than thank you and i love you all

-abel simp anon😧

all of us after that chapter was over

as always love seeing your live reactions <3 can't wait for the next chapter!

#ask #abel simp anon #mod win

[sophaeros]

3 13 15 20!!!!

3. humbug or tbh+c?

THIS IS AN EVIL EVIL QUESTION AND I CANNOT BELIEVE OP WOULD WRITE IT OR THAT YOU WOULD ASK ME THIS!!!!!! humbug is so very immortal for its moody unabashed horniness but tbhc is so..Is So.....when it hits you it really hits you. it's so cinematic and i can't help but love that. BUT HUMBUG..ITS PIVOTAL TURN AND OBLIQUE LYRICS......but also the narrative and Imagery of tbhc. i dont know i dont know i dont want to give a cop out answer. OK IDK MAYBE HUMBUG??it has a range of sounds that are nonetheless cohesive + i love how he switches between obfuscating clever wordplay and kitchen sink slices of miserable time. very hashtag inspiration. my new homescreen in progress is literally tbhc tho so WAILING EMOJI

13. what are some of your favourite lyrics alex has written? (doesn't have to be arctic monkeys, can also include tlsp/ other artist collaborations/the submarine soundtrack)

OK SO I HAVE A CHANNEL IN MY PERSONAL DISCORD SERVER FOR LINES THAT INSPIRE ME BC SOME OF THEM PISS ME OFF IN HOW THEY FEEL LIKE I COULD HAVE WRITTEN THEM IF I WAS JUST A LITTLE BETTER AND MORE WIRED. here are some

when the heat starts growing horns / she's thunderstorms

in the backroom of a bad dream (i'll feel bad if it turns out miles wrote this one)

like in my heart there's that hotel suite / and you've lived there so long / it's kind of strange now you're gone

is that vague sense of longing kinda tryna cause a scene?

LIKE FUCKIN..first one drives me insane forever i dont even know why. for one thing i'm forever in awe of how he slots words into melodies like i can't write music man maybe i'll learn this year but it blows my fucking mind how he makes them sound so good And that they rhyme. and his imagery is just off the charts like u listen to it and ur like fuck that makes so much SENSE even as ur hit w HOW THE FUCK DID HE THINK OF THAT. i can't even articulate what it is about shes thunderstorms that gets me so bad.

2 and 3 are just. idk i love how he conceptualises these abstract places. like it brings these nebulous feelings and vibes and locates them in a solid place but also with surreal imagery. idkidk it just blows my mind im so mad maybe i should make a compilation of lines like these

4 just hits hard bc it's saur relatable LMAO. just fuckin the phrase "cause a scene" with the vague feeling of longing.......URGH. song made for aimless artists having an identity and existential crisis.

15. favourite arctic monkeys b-side?

UMUM UM . SO VERY MANY. ok the on brand answer would be catapult but TRUTHFULLY i find myself always going back to too much to ask. every time it comes on i have to loop it at least twice. im just soooo very enraptured by how he captures the mundane and the slow frustration the impending sense of doom. the whole song has such a like..inevitable vibe. the song trucks on at a steady pace all leading toward the ending realisation that really you could already see coming from the very first line.

20. favourite record ender track?

GOD it's gotta be a three way tie between that's where youre wrong, i wanna be yours and the ultracheese. actually perfect sense is in there too. four way tie.

thats where youre wrong to me really encapsulates this breezy sense of melancholy thats so distinctive of the sias album. it just moves so lightly like a clear day when spring is shading into summer but it's so undeniably Sad. it coming after sias is the perfect one two punch of this exact vibe.

BUT I WANNA BE YOURS. MY BABY. I LOVE HER BADLY the simplicity of it the pure unadulterated longing and desperation. i would fucking do ANYTHING to be yours i would make myself so useful and devoted just for you to deign to say you need me. it just brings you to another dimension man. blast it on your headphones at 3am and you will unlock a never seen before depth of hell called longing. it just strips the whole am album down to its core (ie pleaesepleasepleaspelepalseplease text me back)

the ultracheese. lies down. it's everybody's favourite. and for GOOD REASON. the insanity of ending on a gutwrenchingly honest confession after an entire album about fantasy and escape. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT KIND OF ACTUAL FUCKING SICKO ENDS ON "but i haven't stopped loving you once." ARGHHHH and musically it's like it's so very tbhc. is the best way i can say it. the tbhc album's sound and atmosphere put to fucking Work.

perfect sense makes me want to walk off a cliff and lie down in the dirt forever and ever and ever. if ultracheese was a confession perfect sense is a rumination. i was going to say it's like relief if relief tasted like whiskey but idk if i can even really say relief it's just like. i think it's also quite special to me because i do sincerely believe that by and large things will work out in the end and something unremarkable in your past will come to be the perfect solution in your future and back then it appeared just as it was meant to. it's like going on a long journey so that you could learn that where you began is what you needed and that doesnt mean the journey was a waste because you needed it yknow. i know there were people being like ohhh oh no tc is their last album and like perfect sense has such end of movie vibes but only the kind of ending where you know the characters are going to continue on past the end of the reel. yknow.

so idk maybe i will say either perfect sense or thats where youre wrong because i listen to thats where youre wrong a lot but clearly i have Feelings about perfect sense

thanks for the ask bug!! <3

#ask #folaireamh #ask game #arctic monkeys #i feel many things about am.......also idk if any of this makes sense becaus emuch of what i feel is difficult to articulate..!! #gonna sleep now will check my inbox again tmr!!

[mairahcore]

are you tall..... how tall are you....

(i recently measured my height and i never realised I was THIS short, how did i never know?? almost all the guys in my class who were the same height as me last year are taller than me now, boys do be like that smh)

few years ago i teased my guy friend about his height because i was taller than him at that time oh how the pages have turned (lesson learnt: never tease a boy about his height because he will become as tall as a palm tree that one night in summer holidays)

so basically i’m asking you this because i am having an existential crisis over my height

I just saw this ask and I haven't opened Tumblr in a few days so sorry for the late reply 😭

I am average/short actually, i believe I am 5'4 or 5'5 so pretty average and like I always thought I was pretty medium in terms of height because the guys my age were always only a few inches taller than me. That's until I met a guy who's like 3 years older than me like a year ago and realised that I am actually very short 😭😭😭😭😭

He is 6ft and mf towers over me, my head barely reaches his shoulders. Before this I have never been so conscious of my height because mostly the guys around me are of average height so I never thought I was short or something. But man was I wrong?

So yeah I get where you are coming from 🥹🥹 i have seen my friend's younger brothers becoming soo fucking tall it's infuriating atp. Like the AUDACITY. But most guys aren't really that tall tbh, it's just some of them grow a few inches taller than us, but still they are only like 5'8-5'9 which is pretty average for a guy. I have been around guys who are like 6'2 and shit and man they look like they would tear you apart in a few secs 😭😭😭😭😭

#[🗝] — personals ! #[📬] — mail !

[nikonyako]

New Year new Niko! (art by intern_bomb on twt)

Taps microphone... HELLO am I doing this Tumblr thing right?

In the new year one of the activities I want to start is blogging! I think it could be an incredible way to document my thoughts and also reflect on how I am feeling. This is going to be for MYSELF. If you want to read it, or ask questions- go right ahead! But what I post here is for me and not to impress anyone else.

But besides that, first thing's first-

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2022 was an incredible year in so many ways. Incredible doesn't have to mean good necessarily, either. Everyone says a year can change their life but for me especially, my whole life has been turned upside-down. Below is some of the major points of my year

-I graduated University with a Bachelor of Arts in May -I worked 3 part time jobs (if you count content creation) -We adopted our cute puppy, Antonio! -Spent over a month visiting my grandfather in the hospital while taking care of my grandma who undergoing chemo for breast cancer

The fact I was able to celebrate the holidays with my grandparents this year is a complete miracle, and I am so grateful for it. The end of 2022 felt somewhat normal compared to earlier this fall.

Nobody talks about the existential crisis you have after graduating university. Since the age of three, I have been in the routine of going to school. I wake up, go to class, learn, do homework and clubs, rinse and repeat.

For the first time in my life that isn't Summer vacation, that routine is broken, and as someone who actually enjoyed going to school, I heartbreakingly miss it! I was absolutely the band nerd in school, so I spent so much time in high school and uni taking part in marching band, orchestras, and other clubs. But nobody talks about how difficult it is to continue your hobbies outside of a school setting! It isn't like any company I work for will have a club band I can play in and I am afraid to join any community ensemble because I am not sure where I am going to settle down yet!

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON FRIENDSHIPS It was so easy to see people at school; be with your friends. Your life and my life were on the same path therefore that was 90% of the social activity I needed. Now when I want to meet high school friends, it is an effort to actually plan and execute meetups, work with work schedules, etc. And don't get me started about college friends, where not a SINGLE ONE lives in the same state as me.

And despite all this free time since I wasn't fortunate enough to graduate with a full time job, I found it really difficult to do things without a schedule. I spent a lot of time alone in my room, with difficulty finding motivation to apply to dozens of full time positions, just to get rejected or not be selected after a few interviews. My mom always told me it wasn't what you know, but who you know. And very much to my dismay (because how could my mom be right??!?) she was very much correct. I networked with someone during one of my jobs and what would you know! I have a full time position starting this month. I am so nervous but also really optimistic and excited to get back into the schedule, make money, and blossom a career. Life never goes the way you expect it to, so the same can go for your career path as well! I still plan on staying connected with the part time jobs I have now, and of course my streaming isn't going anywhere.

SO LET'S TALK ABOUT STREAMING

At the start of 2022, I made a video outlining my goals for the year and what I accomplished so far. Unfortunately my goals for the year weren't met quite to what I hoped it would be, but progress is still progress and the main point of streaming is to have fun and share my passions, so I am still very happy!

In December of 2022, I also passed my 2 year anniversary of streaming! I am so grateful for the nearly 1.7k of you who follow my twitch! So many people have come and gone but I am so grateful for everyone who has taken the time, even if just for a second, to check me out. As the Beatles say, "in my life, I've loved them all~"

But the term streamer has also not sat right with me recently. SO... I need to fix that! I want to take content beyond streaming this year and become a *cue sparkles* CONTENT CREATOR! Which means... -I will make edited videos on YT and TikTok -More blogs like this and content where I can express myself in a different medium -More discord events and community interaction

I also really want to spend my 2023 making new friendships and strengthening the friendships I already have, and network and collab more! Especially in the second half of 2022, I have admittedly felt a bit lonely and isolated (though I am MEGA grateful for the friends who I do talk with and you know who you are). But I miss the amount of people I knew and saw in early 2021, when my streaming journey was just starting.

2023 is the year of..

-NETWORKING -Expressing myself in different ways -Challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone -Doing what makes ME happy That's my goals and my outlook on the future. To my future self- if you feel sad, or lost, or lonely.. take a break! Reach out to someone! Try something in a new way! Don't trap yourself in an imaginary box that you made, and don't be afraid to step out of that shell you locked yourself in once and for all. Take a deep breath and think to yourself- "Is this something that will be impacting my life in a month from now?" If the answer is no, take a deep breath, go on a walk, and reassess. But know it's ok to have your feelings. Future Niko is validated (and so are you readers!)

So my essay is over. 2023 starts NOW so push off strong and pace yourself! Make this year yours!

#vtuber #chainsaw man #pochita #new year resolutions

[ladyniniane]

Meet the Writer

rules: use this picrew to make yourself and answer the questions! tagged by: @violets-in-her-arms-writes​, thank you that was fun!

three fun facts about me:

-In total, I’ve spent 1 year and 3 months of my life living in Japan.

-My favorite author is Tanith Lee and I’m trying to read everything she wrote (I’ve already read a good portion). 

-I started writing at 12 in a notebook. I even published fanfics on skyblog OMG. Even at that time, I already wrote stories of heroines who took crap from no one :P. 

favorite season: Winter! Christmas period is my favorite time of the year and I just love the weather and the general atmosphere of this season (bonus if there’s snow like this year). I absolutely hate summer, or at least what summer has become recently.

continent where I live: Europe

how i spend my time:  reading (novels, non-fiction and mangas), writing and daydreaming, listening to music, watching TV shows (I’m a huge fan of Chinese dramas), walking outside and being in nature, chatting with my close friends and with my mom, cuddling with and taking care of my cat, laying around having existential crisis.

are you published?:  No. It was my dream 3 years ago, but I'm not sure I want it anymore. Besides I almost only write fanfic now so that settles it.

introvert or extrovert: Introvert. I’m not really fond of crowded and noisy places  and I like spending cozy time at home (even though I’m not an hermit and I still like to spend time outside).  I can be a bit shy at first, but once I get to know and am comfortable with someone, I’m really chatty and bubbly, though.

favorite meal: I like so many dishes that it’s difficult to pick one. I love veggie burgers (I’m a vegetarian), Corsican cheese, feta cheese... Pizza is also always a good choice. And there’s this Corsican cake that’s straight from heaven (featuring plums from my grandpa’s garden):

I tag @lilias42​, @lumeha​, @thisisjustmefangirling​ and @queenfredegund​. If you want to do it, of course :) No pressure! And if someone I haven’t tagged wants to try, feel free to do it!

#écriture #about me #meet the writer #french writeblr

[stargazer-writing]

The emotions I get from each "Unreal Unearth" song

I was thinking about this and I wanted to talk about how all these songs have been making me feel because there's such a spectrum of emotion tied with each of these and I've very into analyzing the emotional response to music.

And just to put it out there, this is solely based on the images and feelings I've gotten from these. It's not related to the meaning Hozier has actually tied to them. Some of them overlap but some don't. This is just my personal vibes.

De Selby Pt. 1: This soft quiet feeling like when you stand out in the fog in the early morning and everything is still and soft and cool before the day begins. But also a tension of waiting for something to emerge from that fog.

De Selby Pt. 2: It feels like driving at night in a crowded city or being in the middle of a club dance floor, like the singularity of being one among many in a hedonistic world and feeling both a part of it and not, like having an existential crisis in the middle of a party.

First Time: Dancing in the kitchen with someone you've reached comfortability with, that feeling of safety and ease of being in a space you know with someone you love. There's a hint that the feeling might not last but in that moment it is there and it is beautiful.

Francesca: Angry, defiant love of caring for someone in the middle of the worst of it. The "on purpose, I'm going to love you on purpose" and screaming at someone that they are loved but also the softness of the fondness that comes with it. It's begging and crying but hugging and loving and the juxtaposition of the pain that comes with caring for someone so openly.

I, Carrion (Icarian): Sitting outside in the warm sunlight, gentle breeze, grass on your feet and fingers watching a bird free-wheeling in the sky above you. It's soft and sweet and gentle.

Eat Your Young: That slow-burning, tongue-in-cheek frustration and anger of living in a society trying to kill you and choosing to spit that hate right back in their faces. Like going out with a bang cause a phoenix rises from the ashes and you'll live again at the end of it all.

Damage Gets Done: The feeling of wild and reckless happiness being with your friends. Like when you would run around as a child with others getting into trouble, especially outside in the summer when you knew you had nothing you had to do and no where to be the next day and you could just be.

Who We Are: Like a sadder version of "Francesca," knowing you can't change who you are and what makes you you and holding onto that as much as you can even when it hurts you. If "Francesca" is summer and strength and force, "Who We Are" is fall and caresses and longing for parts of yourself or parts of someone else that make up parts of you.

Son of Nyx: Like floating, flying through air and swimming through water, there's a flow to it that makes you feel weightless. It feels timeless yet old and, as intended, a mixture of all these other emotions.

All Things End: Sitting against a wall in your home, all alone, having some kind of religious experience or epiphany at like 3:12 in the afternoon and the feeling in your chest when something moves you so profoundly that you can almost feel it change you on a fundamental level.

To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuaraithe): Kind of talked about this here, but the feeling of realizing how small you are in the grand scheme of the universe, especially when looking at the night sky, and yet knowing that everyone is just as small as you and there's a comfort and familiarity in being small together.

Butchered Tongue: Feeling nostalgia in a place you're not from because everyone is really the same deep down and humans are and always will be human in the way that you see yourself in every stranger on the street no matter where you are.

Anything But: Having a grand old time out of sheer spite. Giving someone the middle finger while telling them to have a nice day. The manic energy of suddenly wanting to do everything and anything just to move and feel something. Willingly saying "fuck it" and choosing to be happy whether they like it or not.

Abstract (Psychopomp): Melancholy, like cold winter weather when it's not snowing but will soon, watching gray clouds gathering in the distance and everything is quiet around you. This numb feeling of not being depressed exactly but going through the paces while everything around you is both beautiful and bare and longing for comfort from something warm.

Unknown/Nth: The love and sadness you feel for someone who you don't talk to and were once close with but aren't anymore. Catharsis of imagining all the things you'd say to them if you saw them again but won't. Missing someone who knew you so well once that not having them around is like losing a piece of your being.

First Light: Standing in the middle of downpour and letting it metaphorically wash away your trauma, the cleansing power of rain, making the conscious, freeing decision to be free of old hurts and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel after a long time in darkness and sprinting toward it.

#hozier #unreal unearth #music #emotions

[eviltiddyproductions]

Alchemy of Souls, Part 1, Episode 1

[I’ve written this so sincerely LMAO I have an exam to study for 😭✋]

ahahah we literally start with the subtitles saying ‘ominous music playing’

nooo that growling thing behind the door actually scared the fuck out of me WOAH

what in the marvel just happen??? like where did this superhero man come from and also what are these cuts 😂😭 whiplash !!!

Monster person fight back ???! 

ummm did this mom bring those 2 food to offer them AS FOOD to her demon son? what’s going on 🤨

the son’s dementor era omg he just took his mom’s soul?! 😭 he said:

rip to the dementor son but also the way his body sort of fell into the ocean, it looked smaller and smaller and looked like a little toy 😭

this place is so gloomy woah

hmmm maybe it’s time for me to google what alchemy actually means, ahh got it

if my king asked me to switch bodies i’d say give me a day and never come back. the mage is clearly better than me

you could screenshot so much of this show and make it your wallpaper

so I guess the baby gets the mage’s genes 🧬

the king looked a little too old for this bride woah. everyday we thank we are not in the Middle Ages 🙏

why is my man dying already ?!? also the king looks so bothered ‘why are you bothering me with your yelling I’m trying to have sex? 🤨’

I have no idea what happened because they dropped a title card and Netflix didn’t bother to translate

MAGIC ELEMENTAL FIGHTING I REPEAT MAGIC ELEMENTAL FIGHTING. I love this 😭‼️‼️‼️

SISTER NO! my girl got hit

people were not helpful at all lmaooo Naksu dragged an unsuspecting girl and everyone was like

I have no idea what this show is about or what it’s doing but I already love it so much. Like them training to shape water or I guess make water move as they want to. I love these things !!!

Whoever they’re yelling at has earrings and blonde hair and is adorable! I love it 😂 I guess we’re not being period specific after all (to be fair they’re doing spells and soul shifting, they can have blonde hair)

Oh the old man has blush !!!

how did she shift into the girl she pushed lol I thought she was playing I guess she might be blind? oh she’s not.

they were going to sell this girl ?!?! <///3 history is always cruel to women 😭

wait are we not going to see more of warrior Naksu? I miss that girl.

But also she’s so hilarious here 💀💀💀

Naksu was vegetarian ??? sometimes we win

The lady talking to her is so cute 😭🫶

I’m not even writing anything meaningful here lmao just jotting down anything like if I look back at this I’ll be so confused.

Four Seasons, beautiful beautiful women, unfortunate name

also I thought they were going to say the blondie earring man was going to be cool as the water. he’s hot like summer 😭

I love all of them woah.

My girl means revenge and I am on her side !!!

not sure about later but lady is such a sweetheart

he recognised her in someone else’s body so fast ??? like he saw her put a crab leg to his neck and was like Naksu 😭? he’s so #real

it’s been 30 minutes and I am already being looped into a love triangle 😭 but he’s cute so why not

that’s why she kept the bird whistle !!! the younger version of the guy kinda (KINDA gave haechan from NCT)

I found the crab leg guy cuter though but that also might be due to the heavy tumblr gif bias

‘menacing music playing’ I love the subtitles here 😂😂😂

I trained her to be the ultimate assassin. Oh it’s giving the garden from Spy Family. Naksu x Yor Agenda (or me just babbling anything, ignore me)

I love how seriously she inspects everything. It’s giving me Mr Queen when Bonghwan travelled and was like 🤨🤨🤨 at everything. But I also love how everytime she tries something in this new body she fails 😭💖

My dumbass just always assumes Kdrama actors are older why is our lead only 24??? woah (takes a little break for an existential crisis to process this information) he reminds me of Dew from F4 a lil.

Now I know where I saw her childhood bird whistle crush!!! I just saw his thumbnail for Hybe lol I think he might be releasing a song.

The lead actress is 33 ??? And that’s on good genes woah! she’s so cute 😭 the way I’m just saying anything like cut to the next episode and who knows Naksu would start shape shifting.

LMAO her going ‘what is wrong with this guy is he not in love with me’ as soon as he starts messing with her. 💀

Oh he’s making her work WORK Alexa play 9-5 by Dolly Parton 😭

I adore her because she’s changed her ‘when I get my energy I will kill this person first’ like 3 times already

he’s got a nice voice, I register, as I see him getting sucked in a bathtub whirlpool

I forget how bad it used to be for the pre photography people like at most you’ve got a painting of your loved one. AT MOST. a painting on something as fragile and flimsy as a paper.

the child actor looks nothing like our lead oh no 😭😭😭

I thought he was going to think about his mom but I guess he’s still thinking about unlocking the spell

my girl is just searching in the loudest way possible LMAO

Hiding under the bed 😭😭😭 she’s so #number1assasinbutatwhatcost

girl we all knew he was awake

awww she decided to be here on the worst day. everyone is so loud and everyone is awake. they’ll be on guard now 😩

now what did they set fire too?!

oh that’s her teacher!!!

now how did he get in without his amulet but also I knew he’d save her by pulling her away. just felt it in my bones 🦴

also thought that the guy who was chasing her would just jump from one of the roofs of the houses

#alchemy of souls #episode 1

[we-pay-for-everything]

re the last line of that meta: You ARE extremely smart, and your opinion does matter! We don't even follow each other because you'd hate my blog (we have different OTPs, though we do agree on delena and a few others and we both love AtS!), but I adore and respect you so much. You make a difference even to those of us who aren't your mutuals! Anyway, I'd love to hear your analysis on the differences and similarities between Buffy Summers and Cordelia Chase. I love both and know that Cordy is more seriously flawed, but while I'm very different from Cordy, I actually love her even more than I love Buffy, especially given how joyless Buffy was - understandably, but still - throughout the last few seasons of BtVS. Cordleia is just such a unique, distinctive character and so spirited. Can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Thank you!!! I'm guessing you're maybe a Cangel and/or Spuffy shipper? Thank you so much for saying I'm smart and that you adore and respect me, especially if we have different OTPs <3! Your kind words put a smile on my face every time I read them so you've made a difference too! I wish I could express my sincere gratitude better...

If you know my blog, you might know I'm neither the biggest Cordelia nor the biggest Buffy fan. Also, I get that Cordelia was supposed to be Buffy's shadow self, but I know nothing about shadow selves - from Cordelia to Drusilla, Kendra, Faith, and Spike, I seriously don't notice stuff like that. I guess I'm more of a science than an art person so I always miss foreshadowing and metaphors and stuff like that.

I'm not the best person to ask this. I'm probably fonder of Buffy, but there are many times I don't like Buffy and I relate to her just about as well as I relate to Cordelia. Buffy's probably more relatable in season 6, but the execution is so bad that even then it's difficult.

Something I never liked about Buffy was her fixation with dating and observing all the girly clichés, like going to prom and doing her nails. Many girls care about that - and there's nothing wrong with it!, I know it's something normal Buffy was deprived of - but the writers tried too hard to show Buffy was "just a girl" - young, cute, hot and liked boys! I always wanted to be different from "all the girls" even though I'm like them, and she was the opposite lmao (but you could tell she was written by a bunch of adult men who knew shit about teenage girls). Cordelia, as obsessed with popularity as she initially was, was pretty different from Buffy because she didn't really care about being "normal" on AtS. She made a few efforts to date and marry rich, but, in the end, she liked not being "normal" because she finally had real friends and something she could do that no one else could (there was no one to compete with either...). That's something admirable about Cordelia, but, tbh, AtS was never about being a normal person in your 20s, like people say - the show skipped almost every common experience or issue a 20 year old would have and went straight to the depression and existential crisis part of it lmao.

Buffy and Cordy are both stubborn, witty, brave, smart, fashionable, have bright personalities and smiles, can be really competitive. Buffy has less of an ego, is more sensitive and selfless, and lot kinder and gentler than Cordelia; at the same time less, she was less involved in her friends' lives because of her slaying gig. I think Cordelia noticed her friends more and gave more advice and support in her own way. A notable difference between them is that becoming a slayer was the worst thing that could've happened to Buffy in her opinion, yet Cordy liked having visions since she got to help people and they allowed her to become even more unique and badass. Buffy obviously enjoyed some aspects of being a slayer, and getting visions was no walk in the park, but I think Cordelia and Buffy had contrasting responses to their "gifts". Cordelia had a more positive arc overall. Even though she died (fuck you, Joss), her final episode was beautiful and implied that she found peace and truly became a higher being. Cordelia wasn't herself in season 4, so her last real arc was in season 3, a season in which she was OOC (imo) yet happy. Cordelia also, ironically, got to have a lot more normal human experiences than Buffy (casual dating, being a "secretary", being a "parent", going out for drinks and karaoke with her friends, going out for dinner or to the opera, etc.). Being a slayer was harder than seeing the future. Actually, saving the world was a positive in AtS because the characters were after redemption and/or were outcasts with nothing better to do and who wanted to feel needed and have a place where they belonged. In BtVS though, saving the world just kept the characters from being happy and normal and being a superhero was generally a burden.

Buffy was more pessimistic than Cordelia. They evolved in opposite directions when it came to their outlook on life. Like I said, Cordelia had a more positive arc than Buffy; over time, she became happier, less jaded, more in touch with her emotions and satisfied with her life (if we think of Cordelia as Charisma, then Cordelia had a rough arc, though...) Are there more differences and similarities? Definitely, but I'm running out of things to say! I think I focused more on Cordy than Buffy, but I know AtS a lot better than BtVS... More (outdated, don't know if it reflects my current thoughts) stuff I wrote about them: x x.

Anyway, thanks for the ask and for being so lovely to me!!! <3<<3<3

#ask #btvs #ats #buffy summers #cordelia chase #thanks for the ask!

[blurglesmurfklaine]

top 5 childhood movies

OMG YES THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!!

Going in reverse order bc ✨drama✨

5) White Chicks

Did this movie age poorly? Probably. Is it hella cringey looking back? Heck yeah. Can I still quote half of it from memory? You bet your ass I can!

Idk why but me and my brothers/cousins used to LOOOOOOOOVE this movie and we probably watched it at least once a week, and whenever it was on cable for sure

But also terry crew singing a thousand miles??? Everyone needs that in their life

4) Elf

I could watch this movie day or night, summer, spring, fall, or winter literally WHENEVER and I will always cry because the power of love and Christmas bringing people together????

I remember when this movie first came out I actually HURT MY STOMACH from laughing so hard, it’s just truly a classic 💞💞💞

Also I am gay for Zoe Deschanel

3) The Princess Bride

I don’t think I discovered this movie until I was like 12 or 13?? I saw the cover in a $5 dvd bin at Walmart but it was the cover that was an ambigram and I was like WOAH WORDS and asked my mom if we could take it and she was like HELL YEAH WE CAN bc she knew the movie.

I almost didn’t finish watching it once I started it bc it looked Old and Boring but then my dad walked in and was like “YOURE WATCHING THIS MOVIE??” And lost his shit and kept telling me how badass it was and I was like aight I’ll keep watching

So yeah I judged it by its cover BUT LOOK AT THIS COVER

CAN YOU BLAME ME???

2) High School Musical 2

I’m putting HSM2 bc personally I like it better but let it be known that the original still has all my love and respect 💞💞

I beg to differ, but my dad SWEARS that I would literally watch this movie as SOON as we got home from school EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don’t think it was eeeeeeevery day but. I know I did have the entire script memorized at one point so that when I got bored in school or at church I would just hit “play” in my head until something interesting came along and that’s why I’m bad at math

I also had. SOOOOOO much merch from this. A backpack, pants, a night gown, an alarm clock, a jewelry box, a blanket… bc for YEARS every birthday and Christmas I just got HSM shit because everyone Knew that was My Thing. And it was FANTASTIC. I was living my best life tbh thanks Zac Effron

1) 13 Going On 30

The year is 2004. I am seven years old. My mom takes me to the movies, just me and her, no stinky brothers allowed. Jennifer Garner. Mark Ruffalo. Tons of 80s music. Romance. Best friends to lovers. Reconciliation. Existential Crisis. Vienna by Billy Joel. The obsession begins.

This is the first movie I remember seeing in the theaters even though I am TOLD we also saw finding Nemo??? The good ole hippocampus hadn’t developed long term memory yet tho so 🤷🏽‍♀️ the chokehold this movie had and still had on me…. When it was released on DVD oh lord. Oh LORD I never stopped watching it. I would play the bonus feature game, watch bts, go to scene selection and watch the razzles scene over and over.

And you know what? IT STILL HOLDS UP! ITS A GOOD FUCKING MOVIE AND THEY DONT MAKE ROMCOMS LIKE THAT ANYMORE WHERE DID THEY GO???

Also I’m incredibly bisexual for Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner it only took me ten years to figure it out 👉🏽😎👉🏽

Thanks so much for this ask! It was incredibly entertaining!

Send me Top 5 Anything

#ask #asks #autistichummel

[capriciouswriter207]

damn it's been forever again

I really would love to catch up on everything still, and I do have the time now currently,

but I just, don't have the energy to do so, I'm sorry

I'm just, gonna start a small conversation to catch up on how things have been going for me

My summer holidays are now 3 weeks in, 3 weeks left too

Am wanting to meet with some more friends still too

Funny enough two of the 3 times I was outside I met one of these friends on accident xD

Why do I always find myself some friend that has either just gotten out of or is short before getting out of an abusive relationship?????

like damn, last time I was the reason someone got out of it and I could've told this one what's up with her now ex too but didn't want to ruin anything in case they got better over the time they were in longtime therapy xD

I've been drawing again! quite like a lot of the stuff I've been doing, drew a s2!Scott sketch only like 1 hour ago or so. Both my s1 and s2 designs of him have braids in common

Could send some of the art if you're open for it!

I now also have an au idea for a small story of a Jimmy centered Hanahaki disease flower husbands au but Scott is the one with the disease and he got it thanks to some jewel he stole and I need to hold myself back so much the whole time from just writing an entire backstory for that jewel too

Anywaysies, hope you've been doing well too! If you've got anything to tell that happened I would love to hear it!

Star out! (for now)

I’m sorry, this has been in my drafts for so long, real life is a bit of a mess right now! But I’m gonna answer now.

It has indeed been forever, it's good to hear from you again. I'm writing this at a moment where I don't really have the spoons, but I'm gonna try to answer anyway because it's a busy time for me.

I’m glad you seem to be doing okay. I don’t mind fi you only send a message every now and again, just keep doing it at your own pace and when you have some time. About those relationships, that’s some serious stuff. Maybe you’re a good luck charm in that regard? I’d love to see your art (and you can let me know if you want it to stay private or no if you send it via ask)! 

That’s sounds like a nice story. I’ve personally never been too interested in the Hanahaki disease AUs myself, but it sounds like it has an interesting premise. 

Now, about me!

No, it’s not that interesting. At least, I don't tend to think of my life as all that exciting, but some stuff did happen. Went on holiday in July, and immediately after getting back tested positive for the virus. Everyone at home got it. I’m glad we got it now rather than, say, two years ago, but it still sucked. But I'm still here, I'm fine physically, we're all good.

I also did have a bit of an existential crisis, because of course that also happened. I got a degree in translation because languages are fun and I was good at it, but I had no idea if I liked doing it as a job and then I figured out you don't need to have a degree in translation to be hired as a translator. I also figured out I'm not cut out for the freelance stuff and the usual administrative stuff that gets recommended as an office job isn’t at all interesting to me. So, yeah. I applied for a [linguistics] doctorate and if I'm not chosen for that position, I'm going back to college and pursue programming.

Been writing some stuff behind the scenes and, in true me-fashion, haven't been listening to my body as if I didn’t learn anything from that writing burn-out (which, I’m pretty sure I’m still feeling). I decided it's a good idea to start writing a D&D compendium for empires S1 which would be partially worldbuilding stuff (where I'm having to hold back adding my personal headcanons) and campaign ideas stuff. I told myself it'd be finished by the end of August, and it's not going to be finished by the end of August because I wasn't feeling well. About to finish Tabula Rasa, Caesar House still going strong (with occasional one-week breaks because it needs to be perfect or I catch plot-breaking stuff) and I have an idea for a short empires s2 story (short-ish, knowing me it might still be 10 chapters) as well as some one-shots. I try not to work on too many things at once, but it’s a battle and I’m pretty sure I’m losing it by putting too much on my plate. I do promise not to let it take me too far, though, I’m gonna stop right before I crash again. At least, I’ll try to.

#message board #good to see you again! #i'm sorry for my tardiness #this summer has been a whirlwind #in the bad and good sense of the word