#so just understand that if you're interacting with someone that's neurodivergent and they do this

[queencvbra]

Random but it feels important to say but I just watched this tiktok and this guy said that someone empathizing with another person by telling them a story about how they experienced the same thing is a red flag and, I quote, “love how you’re making things about yourself”, and I just really need y’all to understand that there is a difference between someone deflecting from what you’re going through and trying to put attention on themselves and a neurodivergent person trying to prove to you that yes they can personally relate to you and empathize with what you’re going through because of a similar experience. That’s not trying to “make things about themselves”, that’s genuinely trying to make you feel seen and like you have someone who is there and understands at least to some degree besties.

#[ooc] #it’s particularly a big thing with adhd I know and personally I do this a lot #I also purposefully write Tory as doing this a lot because it is such a prevalent adhd trait #neurodivergent people have different ways of relating to other people than neurotypicals do and it’s not a bad thing or a red flag #you just have to understand that it’s not coming from a place of self importance it’s meant as an attempt to validate your own experience #sometimes it’s easier for neurodivergent people to relate via tangible experiences #especially when we don’t feel like our own abstract thoughts and how we relate to our own emotions make sense to anyone else #yes there are people that do try to make everything about themselves but again there is a big difference #and you can usually tell because those people will keep continuously derailing and trying to stop you talking about yourself #when usually when it's someone trying to relate to you their own addition is meant to be just that: an addition #the intention at least in my experience is to give you space to talk and also make you feel seen and validate you #instead of just going 'sucks for you' 80% of the time bc that feels ???? can't explain it. it feels unproductive at least to my brain. #and yeah sometimes things can come across as awkward or it can be easy to take it the wrong way because again #it's not the 'normal' social convention #so just understand that if you're interacting with someone that's neurodivergent and they do this #9/10 times it's with the best intentions only and it's someone with a different brain chemistry trying to be a good listener/friend #because talking about real experiences is often more feasible than relating our emotions to *your* emotions without some connecting thread #okay now back to your regularly schedule chaotic karate content that tiktok just set me off a little bit lmao

[bomberqueen17]

tone indicators

I reblogged this post without adding any commentary bc queue and not a lot of computer time lately but like okay here's the thing about tone indicators:

they're yet another in-group set of coded speech. like an inside joke, or a meme, or a conlang. if you are in a group that uses them, they're great and perfectly comprehensible.

but if you don't happen to have come from inside a group that uses them, they are exactly as exclusionary as any other heavy jargon or inside joke or acronym. I mean have you ever listened to soldiers talk? The US Army communicates in heavily jargon-ified speech, liberally laden with acronyms, so much so that it's a self-referential joke to make up obscene or deliberately-obfuscated ones to slip into official reports since the sorts of people who'd kick up a fuss about obscene language won't understand them.

It is exactly the same thing. Except that's exclusionary on purpose, and tone indicators are exclusionary in effect but tout themselves as inclusionary.

So if I, an outsider to this, am reading along, and after a sentence, there's a / and then between one and three letters, that is not enough information for me to use to look it up.

This is absolutely inaccessible if you are not alreadhy in the group that uses it.

I wouldn't mind if the people who used them were just like 'oh ha sorry jargon, i'll try to explain if it's not clear, sorry i forget you guys don't know them' just like any other inside joke or meme or whatever.

But I was in a discussion with someone on a Discord and when I was puzzled about them including these weird slash-acronyms after their statements they were like oh how nice for you that you're not neurodivergent and don't need to use these.

Uh no. The opposite actually. I'm the kind of neurodivergent that needs context. I handle being excluded from conversations very poorly. And that's where I get pissed off, that people seem to be holding these up as the new be-all end-all of Finally Solving The Problem Of Ambiguous Tones In Social Interaction. The hell you are, kids. They're just another layer, and I'd say the worst one yet, out of many many many attempts to solve this exact problem. They are fundamentally inaccessible. Don't mistake the fact that you learned them (somewhere, in some context inaccessible to me) for them actually being universal.

Considered against the many different solutions that have been offered since text-only speech was invented, tone indicators stack up as among the very least-accessible of the lot, since they contain so little context in and of themselves-- if a key is not provided then they're totally inaccessible, and are exceptionally difficult for non-native English speakers, and in general require so much memorization or cross-referencing as to be prohibitively hostile to outsiders.

And that's fine, if what your'e doing is just meant for talking to your friends. But don't come into my conversations and berate me for not having memorized whatever incomprehensible set of acronyms you've newly-decided are the new universal truth. And what drives me the most insane is how many of these acronyms someone has now decided to assign a whole new meaning to are acronyms that are well-known and already existed and are in heavy use. So if you try to look them up guess what you get! is it gonna be the newly-created version or the one that's been in use for fifty to seventy-five years??

For one, P.O.S. has had a specific meaning in written and spoken English for a really damn long time and if you call me a piece of shit in the actual language I speak I am absolutely not going to interpret your conlang as having intended something nice. (YES REALLY THEY'RE USING THAT ONE TRY TO GUESS WHAT IT MEANS. NO. NO! I know. Fuck! That's wild. Absolutely the fuck not.)

#tone indicators #accessibility #conlangs #wild shit

[copperbadge]

hi, i had a medium to big question. in your post about the adhd self-help book you mentioned people with adhd being conditioned to be nonconfrontational, but i've never once in my entire life connected the two? can you break down the connection for me so that i can once again (this week, even) have my understanding of my own condition blown wide open?

So, you are not the only person to ask about this, but that's on me for being unclear -- I wasn't trying to assert that kids with ADHD are automatically conditioned to be nonconfrontational, I was more trying to be like "Hey not everyone needs lessons in medical self-advocacy but a lot of nonconfrontational people do." And I think there is a higher population of people with neurodivergence who are deeply confrontation-averse, but I don't have like, numbers for that, it's just an assumption based on other knowledge.

It gets complicated; ADHD is a disease based heavily in acting impulsively against your best interests. But yeah I do think people with ADHD are often conditioned to avoid confrontation because of two main factors: rejection-sensitive dysphoria and executive dysfunction.

RSD, which I hate perhaps more than any other symptom or behavior associated with ADHD, automatically kicks our nervous system into high gear in social situations and encodes embarrassing moments in our memory with high-def clarity. Because RSD naturally causes a level of anxiety around socialization, it tends to make us nonconfrontational simply because a) we don't want to be yelled at, b) we don't want to embarrass ourselves by getting emotional about something that may not warrant it, and c) by the time we realize what's happening our body is already on high alert which means we are likely to go into fight-flight-freeze mode.

Me, I freeze, usually, but none of those three options are great for fast thinking during an argument. I used to lose arguments a lot simply because I couldn't think or react as fast as the neurotypical person I was fighting with, so I simply stopped having fights. Notably, I did not have this problem when fighting with my brother, who is also neurodivergent and has many of the same freeze reactions I do.

If people disagree with me, even when I know I'm right I also know I probably won't be able to vocalize it properly, so I back down. Usually it's trivial so it doesn't matter, and I've gotten strategic about how and when I argue about things that do matter; it's also a lot easier to do with strangers or professionals (like doctors) where I don't have to worry about long-term social repercussions. But yeah, our own nervous system tells us "hey maybe don't pick this fight" about every single fight and if we do pick that fight, it treats our opponent as a dangerous predator.

Executive dysfunction's interaction with nonconfrontation is something I have less problem with because while I do have poor executive function, I've spent a lot of time and energy training myself to cover the Important Stuff. I have mild ADHD so I'm capable of this; I'm not trying to say everyone with ADHD is, because lord knows it's exhausting for me and I've been doing it for roughly thirty years. But essentially, I cover where it counts: if someone needs me to do something I do it, I meet deadlines, I pay bills.

So with that disclaimer in place, a very common issue especially for children with undiagnosed ADHD is that they'll be told or asked to do something and simply be unable to begin or complete it, then when they're asked why they didn't do it they can't explain. Even if they try to explain that they simply couldn't, like they were incapable of doing it for reasons they don't understand, that usually doesn't hold water with a lot of parents and teachers.

"I couldn't bring myself to write this essay," is actually something I told myself a few times in college, but it's not something I'd bother trying to tell someone else, because if you think you're neurotypical that sounds very insane. So I'd lie and say I forgot, or I'd take the fail, or I'd simply drop out of the class. Crucially I would not fight with the authority figure who was questioning me about it, because I knew I wouldn't be able to explain myself, and I'd just end up getting in more trouble for longer.

Our culture is structured for neurotypicals, and it's not even structured for all neurotypicals. Behavior that deviates from Approved Neurotypical even when you think you are Approved Neurotypical is highly punishable. So if your options are passivity, even when passivity leads to pain, or confrontation, most people who aren't Approved Neurotypical will opt for passivity once they've had a taste of where confrontation leads. I know I do.

And the thing is, there's nothing actually wrong with that. It's a strategy calculated to minimize pain. Even when I'm firing on all cylinders on a fresh dose of Adderall, I still generally let fights go unless there will be actual real consequences, because it's just not worth it. But knowing we have ADHD and knowing we fall into this pattern, I think it is good to be aware that sometimes letting a fight go is really going to fuck you, and at that point even being bad at it is better than not engaging.

I'm pretty good at calculating those, but it's a lifelong process, knowing which hills to die on when you assume you will automatically die if you ever get above sea level.

#sam has adhd #jellydishes

[iloveyouemanuelmarco]

I don't understand how Vivziepop still has a fanbase anymore that unironically still supports her after all the scenarios of controversy where she brushes it off as petty internet drama from "petty envious antis" atleast before she runs off into her crowd of chronically online and discourse obsessed problematic adults on any social media platform(Mostly Twitter to be specific but still)who are just a group of yes-men for her to use to attack not even only children on the interwebs who just happen to be uncomfortable with the fandom she's cultivated over her career of a wannabe artist and animator, but other adults too who by the way are somewhat consisting of survivors of abuse, rape, are LGBTQIA+, BIPOC, neurodivergent/disabled and possibly more. It honestly makes me sad as it does angry because the concept of the show isn't that crazily impossible in my opinion atleast and it could of had so much potential to do way better if not only the obvious subject matters were treated with much more care in an attempt to rework the scripts but also if Viv didn't do half of the stuff she did just a bad person in general. Like...is that really the best you can do for your fanbase???You cannot be not-joking atleast a little bit when you're telling me that apparently not only are children not being stopped from engaging with an 18+ rated show(even though the amount of vulgar language is done so poorly that it could pass of as your average failed Newgrounds animation), but that they're literally being encouraged to interact with the fandom???Are you out of your mind???Don't even get me started on the other stuff that you all probably already know about such as the blatant mockery of S.A., abusive relationship dynamics, hypersexuality in victims of said scenarios that happen irl, having other such "jokes" including some sort of rapey scene at all and having someone who actively and openly supports "non-con" fiction???!!!! What is wrong with you people??And apparently I have to share the home of the beautiful planet Earth with these idiots choosing to have the cognitive dissonance and brain function of an almost-empty and dusty old peanut...Along with the fact that the woman herself treats her animators at Spindlehorse Productions(her studio I suppose)like utter dog-dung, she has proven to drag anyone who defies her problematic and dare I say dangerous behavior through the mud and gets away with it all because of her stans/fans making her the "face of independent animation/indie animators". I honestly feel so awful for those who may have genuinely looked up to her at one point, atleast not knowing how much of a horrible person she was behind the scenes of the computer screen but its whatever anyways I guess. If any aspiring makers of cartoons or comics(LGBTQIA+/BIPOC/Disabled preferred) would like to promote the stuff they male down below in my comments section than feel free☆. It's the least anyone can do under the storm that's being made and has happened for such a long time ughh. The project should have been attempted a little more to be prevented from the confines of those echo-chambery and gross parts of fandom-centric social media communities and It's so discouraging how long this has been going on too, but hey. She's the lady that unironically made a literal pedo character that she attempted to present as a villain while just having the original character end up as a sort of "cool af bad-girl aesthetic uwu" character. Oh my fucking God please stop at once I swear to the highest Heavens and the deepest, most darkest depths of Hell(Ironic).

#TW Vivziepop #Vivziepop TW #CW Vivziepop #Vivziepop CW #Vivienne Medrano #Vivziepop Critical #Vivziepop Criticism #Vivziepop Critique #Vivziepop Slander #Vivziepop #Spindlehorse #Spindlehorse Critical #Spindlehorse Criticism #Spindlehorse Critique #Anti Spindlehorse #Anti Vivziepop #Hazbin Hotel #Hazbin Critical #Hazbin Critique #Hazbin Criticism #Hazbin Hotel Critical #Hazbin Hotel Criticism #Hazbin Hotel Critique #Anti Hazbin Hotel #Helluva Boss #Helluva Boss Critical #Helluva Boss Criticism #Helluva Boss Critique #Anti Helluva Boss #Independent Animation

[bugs1nmybrain]

YESSSS PLSSSS l x reader smut 🙏 maybe they work together or smth and it gets a little frisky??

Admittedly, I don't know the logistics of being a detective outside of Death Note and crime documentaries, and I can't picture my self in that occupation. However, I like thinking of the idea of L and the reader sitting alongside in each other's company while he works on his cases via his computer, and the reader working on something else such as college homework. So I'll work with that ;).

Distraction

Minors Do Not Interact

Warnings: Heteronormative sex and relationship, L uses pet names like "my love" and "darling," desk sex, established relationship, reader is neurodivergent-coded, reader is a college student, reader is heavier than L, nipple/breast play, L uses clinical terms during sex, oral (fem-receiving), unprotected sex

L could not for the life of him keep his eyes off of you.

He was slightly confused, considering that today wasn't different from any other day. You sat next to him on your computer, doing work for your classes, and he worked on his cases, at least anything that wouldn't expose too much information around you.

Maybe it was that ridiculous wet dream he had of you last night. L doesn't sleep nearly as much as others. Not only did he see it as a wedge in his schedule, but his dreams sometimes distracted him because of his analytical perspective on everything. Sometimes he dreamt of his parents, sometimes about the cruelty of his job, and other times...you.

You weren't helping the situation. Of course you had to choose to wear a very form fitting outfit today. L almost had an issue with how revealing your outfit was, but he knew he shouldn't dictate things like that. But if anyone else looked at you the way he was right now, he wouldn't be happy.

Your shirt practically hugged your torso, giving L a perfect view of the shape of your breasts. Your shorts were also, indeed, short, showing off your gorgeous thighs and their beautiful complexion.

It wasn't only your body, though. L wasn't that shallow. It was also the cutest expression you made while you focused on your homework. How you'd scrunch your face when you didn't quite understand something. Your hair fell in your face and you'd tuck it behind to see your notes better, but then it would just fall back in your face. Even the way you sipped on your drink was turning him on. He felt animalistic.

L wasn't the type to get lost in temptation like this. Sure he indulged in any sweets he wished without the consideration of the toll it would take on his body. And yes, he'd take some almost impulsive, bold decisions when he was determined to take a step further in an investigation. Perhaps he was someone who was swayed by temptation, now that he thought about it.

"L?"

Oh god. Now your voice.

"What is it, love?"

The most insignificant terms of endearment always made you blush or giggle. And it was adorable to him.

"I..um..I'm having a bit of trouble with this part of my homework. Would it..? I don't mean to pry for answers, but-"

"No need to apologize. What is it you're confused about?"

L took this opportunity to move his rolling chair directly next to yours. He leaned over your shoulder, peaking at the laptop in front of you. Lucky for him, he now had a wonderful view of your breasts.

You perked up at his close proximity, and L could've sworn he saw you squirm a bit.

"I'm having trouble with using Excel for the Goodness-of-fit test (you were taking a Statistics class). I checked my data and it's all correct so I'm really confused why my answers aren't coming out right."

L took a look at your screen and in a matter of two seconds knew what was wrong, "You have to round up your expected values to the closest whole integer. It should come out right if you do that."

You smiled beamingly and returned with a, "thank you."

"Of course, darling." L leaned in to kiss your cheek, eliciting a bright smile and blush. You were avoiding eye contact with him, but he knew that was your signal of enjoying his affection. L noticed early on that you were easily charmed by displays of affection, whether that be words of endearment or physical affection. L was not one for touching anyone before you. He had begun to learn how touch-starved he also was when you two had begun your relationship.

The look on your face and your body language was enough to make him hard. Your reactions are what got him the most.

L brought his hand to stroke your hair around your neck gently, making you tingle under his touch.

"Do you have anything else planned for the day?"

"Not really. This is the last bit of homework I have for the day. I don't know what I want to do after that."

"Mm.." L leaned closer, and wrapped his arms around your waist (as much as he could manage with you being in a chair).

You laughed playfully yet again but leaned into his touch. L took it upon himself to make a move, having an inclination that you wanted him to be more affectionate with you. He gently kisses the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine, and a delightful hum from you.

"You're so beautiful, did you know that?" L teases.

You laugh and blush at his compliment, "You must be lying."

"Not at all. The truth is, you're gorgeous. I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes off of you today because of your beauty and charm."

"I noticed."

Of course you did. You were an observant person, which is something L admired about you. Though maybe it wasn't too hard to tell, for he hadn't necessarily been sneaky with his glances at you.

"Does it make you nervous when I look at you like this?" L probes.

"No. Well, I feel a little embarrassed, but I'm not uncomfortable by you."

"There's no need to be embarrassed, I'm merely admiring how adorable you are. I don't want you to feel self conscious."

But deep down, L found your shyness cute and he often took advantage of it. L begins trailing soft kisses along your neck as he held you.

"Mmfmm."

Your voice was going to drive him crazy. If you two weren't in separate chairs right now, you would be able to feel L's prominent erection through his pants. L moves his hands from your waist to the sides of your arms, touching them in a feather-like motion in an attempt to make you feel just as aroused as he is. You sigh desperately at his loving affection.

"You're distracting me from my homework..," you say playfully.

"Good. You've been distracting me all day," L retorts.

An instinctive breathy laugh comes out from you but quickly turns into a pleasured yearn. L takes this as an invitation to turn your chair around.

"Sit in my lap."

"Um..."

"I don't want to hear the excuse that you're too heavy. I insist."

L's look of lust and need makes it apparent that he's aching for this. You oblige his request and rest yourself on his lap, trying not to put your whole weight down. L places his hands on your hips, though, and pulls you down. You underestimated his strength sometimes, because of how light he is.

L initiates a deep, romantic, and passionate kiss. His lips embrace yours tenderly, yet full of yearning. You grind your hips along his crotch, feeling his very obvious boner, which causes a spike of arousal in your pussy.

The kisses between the two of you quickly become much more heated. L slips his tongue to search for an entrance, and you allow him to explore yours as he gropes your breasts, though not too rough. L was a very meticulous lover and not very aggressive. No one would've been able to tell that he's a very tender, sweet, and loving boy. He only let you see that side of him.

He tweaks your left nipple through your shirt, causing a surprisingly powerful response from you. Sounds of pleasure exit your mouth and you hold onto your boyfriend close for comfort. He continues to run his thumb along your sensitive bud, and makes sure to begin to give the other just as much attention.

"Aaahh~"

"Hmm..does this feel good, my love?"

"Y-yes.." you whine.

L continues his treatment as he kisses you. He then removes his hands, which makes you somewhat disappointed, but he proceeds to pull your shirt over your head. He looks at you unapologetically and is unable to help raising his pointer finger to his lip as he gandered at you. You were so beautiful, so perfect for him. Just for him.

His face was dusted a light pink, evident that he was aroused. Though, the continuously growing and grinding of his boner made that much more obvious. L continues to care for your tits, leaning in to suck on your right nipple as he played with your left with his finger. The reactions you gave him was enough to make him go absolutely mad.

You gasp and moan, a bit embarrassed by his fixation on your chest, though it wasn't exactly a bother. It felt very good, as you were quite sensitive there.

You tug at the back of L's shirt, attempting to pull it over his head. He removes his latch on your breasts and allows you to take it off. He shuddered a bit at the cold air against his bare skin, but when you press your own nude torso against his, he feels a sense of warmth and comfort.

The kisses continue, and you begin rocking your pussy on L's groin, causing a grunt to exhale from his mouth. Your crotch moves directly up his shaft from what you can tell through the fabric, and L's hold on you tightens. You lower your head to kiss the nape of his neck, teasing up to the most sensitive spot that you're aware of.

"Ah..Y/N...."

"Mmm," you hum against the kiss on his neck as you simultaneously tease his bulge.

"Y/N..it hurts.."

You look up, scared that you did something wrong.

"What does?"

"My..my penis. It aches, I want it out." L sounds entirely desperate at this point, as his words are becoming jumbled. It made you so horny that you were allowed the privilege of observing him in this manner.

You raise yourself from his lap, which draws out a whine from L, that indicates his need for you. You lower yourself down on your knees in front of him. You realize that the chair he is in is too tall for you to do anything, so you crank the setting so that the chair lowers. When it does you unbutton L's pants and drag them off of him. All that remained was his underwear, that had a wet spot forming along the tip of his cock. It looked so tight around his boxers that you were sure it was somehow painful.

Wrapping your fingers around the hem of his underwear, you pull them down and watch as his cock springs out. It was a little funny, but you held back the laugh in case it made him insecure. You take his pretty cock in your hands and begin stroking it.

"Aah..love.."

"Does it feel good?"

"Yes..but, please, I...I need you."

"Hm?"

"I know what you want to do to me but...I need you. To be inside of you. If you do that, I'll cum too fast and won't be able to penetrate you later."

"I thought I'd help you out with my mouth."

"I know, darling, but I can't wait."

You smile, flattered by his desire for you. You supposed a blowjob would have to wait for another time. Standing up, you leaned closer to kiss him again, and he practically pulled you into his embrace. While he cups your face with one hand, he finds his way to the button of your shorts with only his one hand. He was skilled like that. L pulls your shorts down your legs and is taken aback by how wet you were. He couldn't bare to not touch you.

His diligent fingers grazed your pussy, teasing it in a back-and-forth manner, causing you to whimper. He circled two fingers around your clit lightly, drawing the most pretty sounds from you. His cock was leaking from how seductive you were. Arching your back for him, pushing your pussy into his touch to encourage him to be rougher. He then stands up to place you on top of his desk, and he knelt before you.

L passionately places kisses along your inner thighs and proceeds to the outer labia of your pussy, neglecting your starving clitoris.

"L...please.."

"What's that, love?"

"Please..my.."

"Your what?"

URG. He was such a tease, and he most certainly did it on purpose.

"Please, my clit," you whine desperately.

"Of course, love. Who am I to deny you of that?"

Then, just as you had wanted, L wraps his tongue and lips around your clitoris and sucks it with eagerness. He was so perfect at what he did. L knew all of your sensitive spots, and how to touch you in such a way that makes you absolutely crazy. Your clit continues to be pulled by L's skilled lips, and he proceeds to flick his tongue up and down it.

"AaAH!"

"That's it baby, make all the sounds you need to."

L attacks your clit with his mouth some more, and his gentle demeanor dissolves as he doesn't hesitate to bring you to complete ecstasy. He was determined to make you cum all over his face. His sucks and licks become aggressive, almost overwhelmingly pleasurable. You weren't going to last much longer.

"L-I'm.."

"I know, love. You can do it for me, I know you can."

"MMfmH! Aaa~" and in a matter of 3 seconds, you clit spasms and slick fluid gushes out of your pussy, drenching L's face in your cum. Both of your breaths are heavy, and L briefly observes your pussy twitching. He reaches over to his pants and wipes your arousal off of his face.

L hovers above you, looking you in the eyes, to which you avert your gaze. It isn't that you didn't love looking at him, you were just bad with eye contact. He gently tilts your face to look at him, not so much as to force you to look at him, but because he wanted to see your facial expressions.

"I want you, Y/N..I want to fuck you so bad."

"You can. I want you to.."

He kisses the side of your neck and grabs your thighs to lift your legs, giving him full access to your pussy. He lines himself up to your entrance and sinks himself inside. The both of you are immediately struck with pleasure at the contact.

L thrusts at a moderate pace, making sure he figures out the perfect angle to hit your g-spot. It doesn't take him long at all, as you are moaning in complete pleasure, causing him to become entirely engrossed in arousal. L can't help but to quicken his pace, fucking you passionately as he kisses you. He watches your face intently, discerning what makes you quiver the most, but also just for his own personal amusement.

Seeing you like this. Completely cocksick for him and needy. Your warm, wet, soft, and tight walls drive him beyond enjoyment. Your face as he thrusts in you perfectly, the way you furrow your eyebrows and part your lips is so alluring and beautiful. It makes him addicted to you.

"I love you.." L mumbles.

You grip your arms around his shoulders and allow him to thrust deeper. "I love you too."

L holds you tight, fucking you carnally. Right now, he needs to cum inside of you, to claim you as his own lover. No one else but him can feel how gooey you are and see how vulnerable you become from his attention.

Your tight walls clench and he knows that he's not going to last much longer. He can feel the initiation of an orgasm coming, and he buries his face into your neck.

"Y/N...I'm going to cum.."

"Cum in me.."

You didn't have to tell him twice. With a few more fast thrusts, L finishes by bucking inside of you and cumming deep in you. Surely his seed was entering your womb. It's a good thing you're on birth control.

"Awh..darling, you're.."L's breath is heavy, "you're perfect. I love you so much."

"I love you..I love you more than I could ever tell you."

"Is that so?" L teases.

"Yes," you giggle.

"Hm..well, perhaps we should clean up. I'm sure Watari isn't going to want to take care of all of this."

"Yea, haha. You're right."

L kisses your forehead tenderly, and you both get dressed and clean up the mess you two made.

Lucky for L, he got just what he wanted.

#l lawliet smut #l lawliet #l lawliet x reader

[tlbodine]

How to Socialize

OK, before I dig into this, a few disclaimers:

1 - I'm not like. A psychologist or anything. Just a writer who's been part of a whole lot of online communities and has run a pretty successful one for a few years.

2 - The advice that follows is not intended to make anybody feel bad or be a condemnation or enforce standards of behavior. If you read this and don't vibe with it, cool. Keep on scrolling by.

**also, oops, this is really long because I wanted to be thorough.

OK. So with that all out of the way. I was talking with a coworker today. She's undiagnosed but suspects she's some flavor of neurodivergent, and she works over on the sales side, where she was recently hired. Part of her training involves being coached specifically in how to interface with clients -- active listening, etiquette, how to ask good questions, that sort of thing.

She said to me today, "For like 27 years everybody has always just told me I was weird and intense and off-putting but nobody ever told me what I was actually supposed to DO until literally this week. Mind blown."

And I was like, shit, you know what? You have a point.

And that got me to thinking about communities -- from online spaces to meet-ups to society at large -- and the way we try to teach people behavior.

I feel like, overwhelmingly, folks are assumed to just understand what they're supposed to do. If there are community guidelines in place, they're usually rules about what not to do. But you can follow the rules to the letter, and still come off all wrong, and then nobody will ever tell you what you're doing wrong because it's impolite or whatever, until you irritate them so much that they either blow up at you or else just straight-up start avoiding you, and neither of those are really helpful pieces of feedback.

So. In case nobody has ever actually told you, specifically and explicitly? Here are some tips on being a good community member, the kind of person that folks will generally like to be around and want to be friends with.

Show Interest in Other People

The number one most important thing you can do to be a good community member, is to show interest in your other community members. After all, you want them to respond to you when you say things, right? Well. They want the same thing for themselves.

"But I'm not interested in what they're talking about." No problem. You're interested in getting along with them, right? Cool. So this interaction isn't actually about the subject. It's about making them feel good. And, hey, you know what? If you keep an open mind, you might find that what they're saying is actually pretty interesting.

Some phrases to remember and use when people are talking about an interest of theirs:

"Oh?" (general usage prompt for more information)

"That's really interesting! How does that work?" (acknowledges their interest + prompts them to talk more)

"I heard once about [related thing]." (shows that you are engaged with the topic, and allows you to shift conversation in a direction you're more comfortable)

"I'm really interested in [thing], I feel like that might be similar in [way]." (forges common ground and allows you to shift conversation to a topic you enjoy).

So for example, let's say you're talking to someone who mentions that they're really interested in...idk...volcanos. You don't really care about volcanos. But you like this person. So instead of just saying nothing (because you don't care about the topic), or changing the subject, engage instead: "I saw that movie Dante's Peak. How realistic is that?" "What got you interested in volcanos?" "I don't know much about volcanos. My thing was always horses. What's it like being a volcano girl?"

Whatever. The point is not to learn about volcanos (although learning new things can be fun!) but to give them a chance to talk about their thing.

Give Other People a Chance to Speak

The flipside of the thing above: If you're talking to someone about their interest, don't go so overboard trying to relate to them that you don't actually let them talk. In the horse/volcano example, see how it ends with a question? The question hands the topic back to the other person. It's like playing a game of catch. Conversation is tossing a ball back and forth. If one person hogs the ball, it's no fun for the other person.

When you're talking about your interests, you'll want to pay attention to the person/people you're talking to. In general, engaged conversation partners will mirror your energy. If they're asking questions and relating what you're saying to something they know, then they are trying to carry on conversation with you. Proceed!

If you notice they are:

Responding more slowly (without saying a disclaimer like "sorry, multitasking/at work, keep typing!")

Starting to reply with single-word responses ("cool!" "Okay" "lol") or emotes

Saying the same thing over and over ("That's awesome!" three times in a row)

They are most likely trying to disengage from the conversation. It's almost certainly not that they dislike you or that you've done anything wrong. They've probably just run out of things to say, or they really want to talk about something else, and they're looking for a way to politely exit the conversation. You can provide them with a graceful out by saying something like, "Anyway, that's my thing. What have you been up to?"

(Incidentally, if you notice that people have a tendency to stop talking to you or change the subject when you're trying to converse, check that you're not inadvertently giving off those disengagement signals. Saying things like "ok" or "I know" without any further prompting or question can be perceived as a cue for the other person to stop talking).

Avoid Self-Deprecation

Sometimes, you realize that you've made a misstep, and it seems natural that your next step should be to apologize. This isn't a bad impulse! But the way you apologize makes a difference.

For example, let's say you're talking in a discord channel and realize that you've been going on for a while and nobody else is saying anything. You get self-conscious and realize, oh, maybe you're talking too much.

So perhaps you're tempted to say: "Sorry. I know I talk too much and it's annoying."

Do not do this. Because now the people in chat will feel contractually obligated to reassure you that you are not annoying.

Instead, try a joke: "Phew that was a lot! Anyway. Anybody else want a turn?"

Keeping things light-hearted alleviates the pressure that other people might feel and keeps the mood from being too awkward.

"Isn't all of this dishonest and manipulative?"

Look. Here's the thing. People who are good communicators -- folks you might hear described as charismatic -- are folks who understand these rules, and other social rules, intuitively. Most well-socialized neurotypical folks communicate this way without thinking about it or even knowing what they're doing.

For those people, conversation is usually less about exchanging specific information and more about nurturing a social bond. Remember -- it's not about volcanos. It's about making the other person feel heard and appreciated.

To stretch the example to its breaking point: What would be dishonest or manipulative is if you pretended that you loved volcanos, or lied about your experience with volcanos, or went out of your way to build a relationship with someone on a shared passion for volcanos when actually you don't really like volcanos at all and one day you won't be able to stand it anymore.

Showing polite interest for a few minutes by asking a question? Is not dishonest. That's just you signaling to them, "I don't get your thing, but I care about you as a person and talking about this seems to make you happy, so please continue."

That's all for today. I might be back later with a post about sympathy and venting and advice. But for now, I hope this was at least a little bit helpful for somebody. Good luck out there making conversation!

#communication #life skills #autism #neurodivergence #i am not a professional

[skelswritingcorner]

Assistance to Focus (A First Aid x Reader Fic)

With the encouragement of @lovenotcomputed, I wrote this little thingy. If y'all can't tell, I love First Aid a lot.

A/N: This is technically a UA (Universe Alteration), as the characters are written to be closer to G1 heights. Therefore, characters like Ultra Magnus are 20 feet tall instead of 40.

Warnings: Mentions of autistic shutdown, G/T

It was always a struggle to begin tasks, from those that need to be done to those that you wanted to do. That was something you always hated about yourself, even if you knew it was due to your neurodivergent nature. You're sure that the others on the Lost Light noticed this. Unfortunately, you're pretty confident neurodivergence isn't a thing for Cybertronians, so they might not understand.

The only exception was Rung, the psychiatrist of the ship. "Perhaps you need someone to just... push you along to get started." he suggested, "I remember Ultra Magnus told me about that shutdown you had when you couldn't get started on those files, yes? Maybe doing them with someone else at the same time would be beneficial.”

Right. That was certainly a situation that led to several members of the Lost Light panicking because your head was on the desk and you were sobbing and hyperventilating for an hour, tugging at your hair to distract yourself. Ratchet had to make everyone leave the room and have you brought to your habsuite afterwards, and informed Ultra Magnus that you’d be resting for a cycle or two. At least you didn’t hit yourself with a heavy object.

“I understand that, but I don’t know who I’d do that with,” you glanced at the window, “I’m the smallest person on this ship, and I don’t know anyone else other than the ones I interact with the most as the liaison.”

Rung tapped his digits on his chair, “How about First Aid? From what I’ve heard, you two get along quite well.” Oh. Would be a good idea except for the tension you felt around him sometimes, given how your mind goes haywire around him. He is, however, one of the few people that could calm you down from those shutdowns, so it might be your only option.

You sighed in defeat, “If he agrees to it, then yeah.”

Rung nodded thoughtfully, “I’ll ask him if he’ll be alright with that. Is there anything else you want to talk about?” You shook your head. “Well then, until next time.”

You left Rung’s office, walking in the large expanse of hallways to get to your destination. Fortunately, while almost everyone is thrice your height (quite literally, mind you), it’s easy to maneuver around them with a little verbal warning. Because of that, it didn’t take long before you arrived at the medbay.

The doors opened, and you peeked your head before walking inside. There weren’t many people there right now, Ratchet was talking to Drift about… something you didn’t know anything about. First Aid was at the desk, working on medical reports from what you could tell. He shouldn’t be too busy, right?

“Y/N?” Oh, that must be Ratchet. He probably wanted to check on you, given what happened a few days ago.

“Yeah?” you looked up at the red mech.

Ratchet knelt down to address you, “Are you doing alright? I’m sure you’re still stressed from what happened. Are you sure you shouldn’t be resting still?”

You shook your head, “I usually just need a day to recover from a shutdown. I’ll be fine.”

Ratchet squinted, clearly doubting your words. “I doubt that just a day would be sufficient, but alright. Do you need something?”

“Uhh, it’s based on something Rung suggested. He suggested that I have someone else with me to help me get started on the task.” you explained.

“I see,” Ratchet curled his servo, tapping his chin in thought, “Is there someone specific you wanted to assist you?”

You paused, contemplating if you should tell Ratchet. Did he figure out the thoughts you get about First Aid? Ratchet did comment that your face was red the first time you saw him without his mouthpiece at Swerve’s bar, and asked if you were alright. You doubt he realized that the redness was due to you getting flustered. Drift walked up to Ratchet, whispering, “I think Y/N wants First Aid to help her.”

You heard all of it, jumping a little bit. Drift smirked, and Ratchet chuckled, “Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’ll ask him for you.” Ratchet walked to First Aid, exchanging a few words with him. Unfortunately, it wasn’t one you could hear from where you were.

First Aid walked up to you after grabbing some datapads, “Rung messaged me about it just before Ratchet told me, you want me to help you?” A nod was the only reply you gave. “I’ll bring you to a quiet place. I’ll bring some of the paperwork that I can do.” You nodded again, and First Aid helped set you on his shoulder.

The both of you walked to your habsuite, and you grabbed the datapad with the document you struggled to start reading last time. After grabbing a set of ear pods, you and First Aid went to his habsuite. Fortunately, his habsuite was close to your own, so it didn’t take long.

“Are you sure we should do that in your habsuite?” you asked, “Isn’t this meant to be a place for rest?”

“I-” First Aid stammered, “I didn’t know anywhere else that would be without distractions.”

That’s understandable. This ship is pretty hectic, after all. “Well then, let’s do this.'' The both of you walked to the desk in the habsuite, sitting down on the chair together.

First Aid had you situated in his lap, servo splayed slightly on your own as he prepared his set of datapads. Putting in your headphones on a low volume, you played instrumental music as you looked at the datapad you held in your hand. It’s just documents on Cybertonian anatomy, it should be fine. Not like you don’t know anything about robotics at all, everything’s going to be fine.

It took a bit to start, but after some time you began reading the document. It was a bit intimidating, but that’s what happens when you first learn stuff, it’s always a little scary in the beginning. It helped that First Aid was ghosting circles into your thigh, it was minimal enough that it didn’t hurt or distract.

After some time, you finished reading the document. It took some time, but you knew this was the shorter version. A more simple explanation of Cybertronian anatomy, with comparisons between the anatomy of a Cybertronian and the anatomy of a human.

There were no equivalents for some organs, but what made you curious was that reproductive organs weren’t mentioned. It makes sense, Cybertronians reproduce asexually. It wouldn’t make sense for them to have those parts, right?

“You’re done?” the voice from above asked. It sounded a little… clearer than usual? You looked up, seeing First Aid… without his mouthpiece?

“I was surprised, once you began you quickly got in some kind of zone.” First Aid chuckled, “It was fascinating.”

If it wasn’t obvious enough already, your face was heating up. Did he know how flustered you got that time at Swerve’s? Was he using that to get you worked up?

“I, uh, tend to hyperfocus.” you stammered, unconsciously beginning to bounce your leg.

First Aid let out a chuckle, “I’m just teasing you. At least you were able to read through the document without any signs of stress. I didn’t feel you bouncing your leg until now. The most you did was shake them a little.”

Wait, he noticed that?! Well, you were in his lap the whole time, so he likely noticed you stimming?

“Anyway,” his mouthpiece moved back into place, “you’re likely tired from this, right? I’ll bring you back to your habsuite.”

You nodded quickly, grabbing your things before letting First Aid pick you up. After he confirmed that you were ready, the both of you walked to your habsuite. After exchanging goodbyes, you walked into the habsuite.

First Aid walked away, stumbling into Rodimus. “Hello, Captain.”

“Spendin’ time with the tiny liaison?” Rodimus wiggled his optical ridges, implying a possibility of First Aid and the liaison doing something else.

“We’re literally in front of their room, they’re going to hear you.” First Aid mentioned. He knew that, even though the sound insulation for the organic habsuites are pretty good, Y/N’s hearing is pretty sensitive. They could be listening in.

“It’ll be fine,” Rodimus drawled out, “I made sure the best sound insulation is in those habsuites! When I found out that one of the liaisons has super sensitive audials that can’t be turned down, I made sure that theirs especially got the sound insulation.”

All of that made First Aid squint. “Yeah, right. I’m pretty confident Ultra Magnus was the one who had to do that.”

“Oi!”

“But am I wrong? I remember he’s the one who told us Medics about Y/N’s conditions.” First Aid tilted his helm.

Rodimus grumbled, “Ugh, nevermind! We can discuss what I wanted to tell you about at Swerve’s bar.”

First Aid shook his head, “No need. Liaison Y/N and I did not interface, Rodimus. That wouldn’t be professional. Besides, Y/N just joined last week. I doubt that would be enough time for them to feel comfortable doing that.”

“Right. Anyway, we can talk later at Swerve’s.” Rodimus left, leaving First Aid standing there. Guess he can return to the medbay now.

However, while he wouldn’t say it for now, First Aid is catching feelings for the human liaison. They haven’t been there for long, but Y/N has a fond spot in his spark. It’s simply too early to try flirting or being romantic. Sure, he did mess around a little bit to confirm if his face plate without the mask on made them flustered, and it did, but other than that it’s best to be slow.

#transformers x reader #first aid x reader #transformers first aid #idw first aid #transformers drift #transformers ratchet #transformers rodimus #transformers ultra magnus #sfw g/t #g/t #giant/tiny

[f4rfields]

i definitely do understand where people are coming from when they really feel for laios during his conflict with toshiro, but i am not looking forward to the social media posts about how he's the worst and bad forever. i got Thoughts on this.

because laios is definitely not free of blame in this conflict. even if it was on accident, he was doing a lot of racist microaggressions towards toshiro almost immediately (assuming his name is "shuro" and introducing everyone to him this way, talking about his looks being "strange", grilling him constantly for information for 5 hours about his home despite him wanting to leave after the first few seconds of their interaction), and his difficulties with reading social situations was making him uncomfortable regularly. and while laios perhaps didn't know the harm of what he was doing and thought it was just them being pals, that doesn't change how laios made toshiro feel.

but toshiro even recognizes that laios isn't doing this out of malice, which makes being upset at him the way he is even more frustrating. even with the aspect of cultural differences making communicating directly difficult, direct communication in any cultural setting seems to be one of toshiro's weak points, and he's aware of it. but having some guy decide that you're besties despite you not really doing much to reciprocate that feeling, having this guy touch you when you are not accustomed to it, having him say shit that is incredibly insensitive, and having him invite himself along to things is understandably shit that would be unbearable after a while.

the world doesn't revolve around laios, and toshiro is not required to sit down and educate him on social cues/the entirety of his culture's social norms/how not to be doing casual racism just because they came in contact with each other. a lot of this built up resentment probably wouldn't have festered were he to have said "we're not close in the way you think we are, so stop it" when shit first started getting out of hand, but toshiro didn't say that and acted according to the norms of his own culture to strongly imply it. he wasn't "wrong" for making the choice to do that, but it went over laios' head.

while the way in which everything exploded between them was terrible and honestly a nightmare scenario for anyone who is neurodivergent, it's kind of a perfect storm situation. while laios had one awful big reveal, toshiro was dealing with being made uncomfortable by laios for the entire time they've known each other. like that sucks to know that not only did someone you thought you were pals with didn't feel the same, you learned that your presence/behavior was bothersome, insensitive, harmful, invasive, or even outright bigoted. he didn't intend for it to be bad, but it was bad for toshiro. that sucks to find out.

him being frustrated that toshiro never told him otherwise feels more like laios is both saying that to toshiro, but also low-key is misdirecting anger he has for himself for not "getting it". laios seems to be a really extroverted guy who wants to make friends but often dislikes that people don't "get" him and that he doesn't "get" them either. it sucks to be shown that yet again, you didn't read the room right.

i don't think that toshiro hates laios as a person (given that he did seem concerned about their well-being before he left them to continue through the dungeon and gave him the bell, as well as their hug moment in the end), but he sure hated how laios was treating him. but even if toshiro would never come to like laios and even if he does hate him, i don't think that makes him a bad guy. some people just don't mesh, and let's be real - laios' first interaction with him was "hey you look weird let me get your name wrong and introduce you to all my buddies after trapping you in this tavern for 5 hours" which is an awful thing to do.

neurodivergence does not make you immune to perpetuating racism, or make people who find you unpleasant immediately ableist. i think toshiro's anger and frustration were, to a large degree, understandable. it sucks how badly it hurt laios to realize that his feelings of friendship were one-sided though, but toshiro was not doing this out of malice either. it was frustration that built up over the entire time they knew each other, and also feeling misunderstood by laios.

laios deserves love and friendship, but he is not owed it from toshiro just because he thought he was being nice and friendly towards him.

#text #lauren reads dungeon meshi

[edgyexplorerofmanythings]

If you’re going through autistic+ADHD (auDHD) burnout, you may experience:

*anxiety

*depression

*extreme lethargy

*inability to ask for help

**memory issues

**loss of words or selective mutism

**reduced executive functioning (e.g., staying organized, making decisions)

**trouble bouncing back from daily tasks

*suicidal thoughts

+

**Feelings of fatigue and constant exhaustion.

*Low self-confidence coupled with high self-criticism.

*Lack of motivation and drive to complete tasks.

*Anger and resentment toward responsibilities, obligations, and other people.

What do we need to exit the burnout realm:

Stimming and sensory stimulation/deprivation

Food, water, medications

Physical safety (e.g., a home, your bedroom, a place to stay that is away from harm)

Social support (e.g., can someone help you with chores? managing your schedule? explaining neurotypical norms going on around you? doing tasks that require engaging with others like making phone calls?)

Time for special interests

Time for sleep, recovery, and rest

If someone you know is experiencing auDHD burnout, be gentle with them, they're already barely holding it together with straws and Scotch tape.

Don't add to the burnout, requiring us to submit more energy spoons than necessary, and understand that the size of your energy spoons are different from those of neurodivergent people. We have less spoons to dole out, and they're tea spoons compared to your serving spoons.

Let us rest. Send us home early from work or class, let us do our work in the safety of our home environment during burnout phases. Everyday interactions that are energizing for neurotypical people are extremely energy draining for those with auDHD, especially during a burnout phase.

Help them if you are willing and able. Those of us with auDHD most of the time don't know or understand what exactly our needs are. Having a support system around that can see what is needed and offer assistance could mean the difference in those of us with auDHD between crashing or being able to recharge.

Be kind. This isn't the time to bully or make fun of the person with auDHD. There is no need to be a jerk in the first place, but we live in the real world, with real, neurotypical people who do not understand how our brains work so differently as to cause situations like burnout that affect others around the person with audhd. Just be kind, those experiencing burnout are already fragile emotionally and probably spiritually. Being a part of our support system as opposed to someone who is making it more difficult to survive this experience could mean the difference between recovery or crashing.

For those with auDHD, find support groups online. There are so many other adults experiencing auDHD and burnout in today's demanding neurotypical world. You're not alone in this.

#asd #autism #adhd #mental health #real life experiences #frustrated #burnout #exhaustion #masking #mandatory social interaction

[hot-take-tournament]

Omg the reblog person is so real for that. I understand that Tumblr doesn't have an algorithm so liking doesn't functionally do anything but I get extremely anxious about reblogging so the guilt trips are really awful for me (and I assume it's the same for others with similar issues.)

Uh- bit of a tangent/rant below. For context I'm an "Audhd-er" (I think that's the term people use, it means I'm autistic and I have ADHD)

I understand most of the time they are over-exaggerating their feelings on the matter. In posts about reblogging stuff from writers and artists it's always kind of a "LIKES DO NOTHING SHOW YOUR LOVE WITH REBLOGS LIKES MEAN NOTHING"

I've always found that a bit odd. As someone with two mutuals (one of whom is rarely online) and 1 normal follower my reblogs really aren't gonna do much so I mostly reblog stuff my mutuals might like and occasionally make my own posts. (Keeping everything else private for the most part) When I get a like it always brings a warm fuzzy feeling because it means someone enjoyed my reblog or post enough to share with me that they liked it.

I've only had one post that breached containment and it was a fun weekend of checking out the blogs of people who liked it! All in all I think maybe people are just unaware of the anxieties that come with being online and the people who experience those anxieties are too anxious to really speak up about it. I mean look at me I'm chilling behind an anon mask rn (I rarely send an off anon ask lol.)

For a website dubbed by its users as the neurodivergent website, some people forget to consider that learning and working within the culture of a social media platform can be extremely stressful for many types of people, let alone an autistic person such as myself (the ADHD doesn't help either). Some of us would prefer to lurk in our private blogs, only coming out of our comfort zone when we feel ok to do so.

All in all, a reminder to reblog is perfectly fine, but please refrain from the guilt-tripping and social obligation type of thing— or at least be aware of it and try not to be offended if one of your mutuals struggles to reblog.

Now this is all my personal perspective, other people will likely have completely different experiences but I wanted to share in case people were confused on why it's an issue for some people. Thanks for reading this whole thing and I hope you have a lovely day <3

I think I get what you're saying -

For a lot of people it genuinely takes a surprising amount of guts to put themselves out there on the internet in any way, even if it's anonymously, and that includes things as simple as reblogging a post.

It's not just Tumblr either. You also see it on Reddit and Twitter, and in online games where people just want to keep to themselves and not interact with strangers. Some people just want to lurk, maybe liking or upvoting, but not commenting or reblogging, because that feels like making yourself more "visible" somehow, in a way simply liking posts doesn't.

It's difficult to put into words, but I feel it's kind of like being in a university lecture with 50+ strangers. Liking is sitting in the back quietly taking notes. Reblogging is like putting your hand up and giving an opinion when the professor asks for one.

It's true that only reblogging actually contributes anything functionally, but there are plenty of people, especially neurodivergent people, who might struggle with that kind of thing, but still want to show some appreciation, or just save it as a bookmark.

So, I think that's partly why that kind of guilt-tripping or threatening reblog bait can be so stressful. Tumblr is a comfort app for a lot of people, who just want to curate their own little private space. Reblog baits are like someone banging on your door, telling you that you're actively doing something wrong by keeping to yourself, and (in the case of "I'll block/unfollow you if you like/read but don't reblog" baits) people will hate you for doing it.

It also implicitly takes away the sense of control you have over your own personal online space. Ideally, you should be able to do whatever you want with your own blog - no one should dictate your own online experience. So, if you just want to reblog things you like or want to share, at whatever pace you feel comfortable with, there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.

But reblog baits seem to suggest that you shouldn't have that control, and there are certain things that you have no choice but to put on your blog, and it has to be right now. And I feel that sense of having control suddenly snatched away from you without warning could also be a major source of anxiety for a lot of people who see Tumblr as a source of comfort.

With all that in mind, while I do believe that it's not quite this simple, considering artists and writers, and especially those who rely on commissions, do need exposure from reblogs, I also feel it's difficult to blame people for finding very aggressive reblog baits stressful, especially when you're suddenly blindsided with them.

At least, those are just my initial thoughts based on what you said, but absolutely let me know if you disagree with any of this or feel I misrepresented what you meant <3

#asks #not a poll #hot take reblog bait

[salternateunreality2]

Claudia Strife was the best/meh-est at this whole having a kid thing

Disclaimer: I haven't raised a neurodivergent child and am not an expert.

I like Claudia being simultaneously a not-great and super mom for neurodivergent Cloudy. I see her being undiagnosed neurodivergent (ND) like so many women are, and only figuring out WHY she's the way she is because she goes on a researching spree for her baby.

Like she has NO IDEA what she's doing, and she's all alone in the world except for Cloudy, but because she has to figure it out and has nothing else to go on, she develops her parenting naturally and goes with what she would have liked as a child (unless that doesn't work).

She only knows some basics, like "don't shake the baby" and "don't drive your daughter into questionable decisions by being an unsafe home and never educating her". Other than that, she has to create it all from scratch. Other parents hate on her for her style, but other parents don't have a neurodivergent kid who's just like her and just like his dad and nothing like their easy neurotypical kid who hit their developmental milestones exactly on time.

Sometimes their issues both hit at once, and he's screaming, she's screaming, he's crying, she's crying, nobody's having a good time... But then they also GET each other. Someone GETS her in a way no one ever has before. They use little noises and non-words and hand signs to communicate. They learn sign language together because Cloudy was speech delayed, and they keep using it because sometimes talking is too much.

Sometimes they sit together in front of the fire, not talking, not interacting, both absorbed in their separate special interests.

Sometimes they each go to their own rooms to do that, then come out into the common areas of they're open to attention. After a certain age, Cloud just naturally doesn't go into Her Space without being explicitly invited or having a really bad nightmare.

They both UNDERSTAND when that tag is too itchy, or that noise is bad, or how sometimes you just need to bury your nose in an old pillow and scream because the smell from the neighbor's still is too much.

They're very direct with each other.

"Cloud, you're going through puberty and you stink. Wear deodorant." (while throwing a stick of deodorant at him.)

"Mom, if you cook onions one more time, I will go live in the woods for the rest of the week." (and he does. and has a great time.)

Claudia HATES being told what to do, so in the marrow of her bones, she understands when Cloud gets stubborn.

She lets him stim any way he wants unless it triggers her misophonia, in which case it results in screaming, crying, lying on the floor, and punching the punching post she set up in the back yard for both of them.

The teachers call Claudia a bad parent and gossip behind her back and don't take her seriously when she tells them how to handle a meltdown...until Cloud freaks out so much that he vomits and passes out. Then they start listening a little to her advice, but still hate on the two of them.

Cloud has a special blanket that he won't let go of for any reason ever. It is therefore filthy from never having been cleaned.

Claudia: I think its gaining sentience, honey, we need to wash it.

Cloud: *meltdown at the thought*

Claudia: *steals it at night to wash*

Cloud: *whole-day meltdown because it feels and smells and looks wrong*

Claudia: *repeating under her breath* it's worth it, he was going to catch polio from it. It's worth it, he was going to catch polio from it. It's worth it...

--------------------------------------

Cloud has a...complicated...relationship with mythical figures, and honestly? Claudia gets it. If she tried elf on a shelf, she'd find dismembered elf body parts buried behind the house so it "couldn't come back to spy on me".

-

Tiny Cloud grumpily sitting on the stairs with a toy shotgun: ...

Claudia: Watcha doing, sweetheart? Guarding the house for Santa?

Cloud: Guarding FROM Santa! *Grumpy birb noises because he doesn't want the big red man to break into his home*

------------------------------------------------------------

In canon, she lets him run off to Midgar at age 14. In my HC, this is partly because she was only a few years older than that when she struck out on her own, and look, she did fine!

She also knows he's stubborn and is going to go, come hell or high water.

Most of all, she loves him. She loves her Cloud so much.

@strayheartless chatted about this with me <3

#ff7 #cloud strife #claudia strife

[kibbits]

Hi okay so I've been rotating the break a leg boys in my very neurodivergent head and. I don't know the specifics because I don't know theater or musicals, but with the everything about them - having to relearn how to be themselves, essentially unmasking, and the difficulty with social cues that comes with actually interacting people rather than just performing for them - I just. Okay wait lets start differently -

At some point they become true friends with Y/N, we know that! But do they know? They never had friends before, and with their difficulties I can just see them struggling to even understand the concept, much less where the lines are, and wondering if Y/N considers them friends too!

So while I don't know how you planned it out/ if you have something different in mind already, I just kept thinking of a scene where they wonder and try to ask - hey, are we friends? But they're scared of misunderstanding cues because it's all new, so they fall back onto their scripts! Because despite everything, they know those, and they're reliable and familiar! So they rope Y/N into a little improv scene or perhaps a little musical number where the characters proclaim their friendship, and then they just. kinda trickle out of the scene to ask - are we? because just asking outright is scary, but they can mask it as a play, while also trying to reach past that comfort zone, and I just think they'd really need some sort of confirmation that yes, they are friends!

(and that certainly is not projection as someone who struggles to identify boundaries for friendships and likes to double check also - I mean the boys have the extra complication of Y/N being assigned that job to care for them! I'm sure there's anxieties involved, once the masks begin to crumble! Okay I can be normal now this is. long. GFHDSJ)

HI OK SO!!!! YOU BLEW MY MIND COMPLETELY WITH THIS ASK AA

So uh as you know you're the one who recently made me realize I'm audhd and,, , in the light of that,, , SO MUCH of my own goddamn AU just. clicks.

----------

first of all-- YES! Yes, I totally see them doing that! Setting up an elaborate scene and thinking about how it'll go, late at night (imagining in scripts how YN might react)

They purposefully leave the end of the script blank so YN (who might not realize it's based on reality at first, or sees it but thinks they're reading too much into it) gets to the end and goes: "Uuuh guys? I think I'm missing a page? Are they friends or not?"

And the boys go: "We don't know-- are they?" (hopeful puppydog eyes)

----------

Second of all, I'll use this as a jumping point under readmore cause my god it made me see the AU in a new light dfkljdg

Cause uh I realize now that it's not just an AU about 'what if they'd never become daycare attendants' but rather about acting (masking, putting up a front, internality vs externality, discovering sentience, discovering themselves and each other as people) in general

So I think that first of all,, due to the nature of the thing, YN is probably ALSO audhd and struggles with boundaries, because I do, too. (head in hands i genuinely didnt notice now much i coded them pff But then again, uh... I am ALSO pretty good at masking fgjkldg)

I can get very attached to people very fast, and I call people my friends easily (but like. several different kinds of friendships?? Different degrees of intimacy and points of connection) but i also need to hear it from the people in return or else i get wary of "taking up too much space" (despite the irony of liking when other people are interested gjklgd)

----------

But. MY GOD LUCE. THEY'RE ALL SO ND (specifically Autistic and ADHD, healthy dose of anxiety and More)

So we've got Sun and Moon who are a Problem Animatronic, who are Strange and Offputting sometimes. They take their roles too seriously, they embody them, they don't 'act like real people' outside of that. They follow arbitrary rules, and expect you to know and follow them, too.

And then Y/N comes along, and they immediately follow along with their rules (read:script/assigned role) not only that? But they clearly establish their own rules, too, as well as reasons for Sun and Moon to follow them (god. you see what I mean by everything being so clear in retrospect??)

Management sees: Holy shit, after countless maimed staff members, a(disposable one)n intern bumbles along into the closet where the Actor has been shoved, and miraculously gets them both to cooperate??? And they survive? Without injury?

Sun/Moon see: FINALLY some good fazzing food communication!

In reality: AUDHD to AUDHD communication is happening dfklgjkld

----------

so uh just wanted to say all 3 are AUDHD.

Sun collected all the kinetic/high energy symptoms and habits, like physical hyperactivity and restlessness, full body stimming (watch out for the limbs!) poor volume control, jumping the gun and interrupting, things like that

Moon got the more internal ones: Non-verbal or minimal words a lot of the time, doesn't like to be perceived when he's not acting, sits like a gargoyle/floor time/other pressure stim (WILL flop onto you) and also chewing fkljdgj, innatention etc

They both def don't have personal space awareness, are anxious and restless but in different ways, sound stims/echolalia out the wazoo

Y/N by nature will be different but since its my AU they'll reflect mine so. healthy mix/helping of both? fgjklgdl Inattentive, both super observant and blind to obvious things, sometimes less verbal, sometimes hyperverbal, pacing and shaking their hands like they can't contain all the things they want to say, Floor Time (tm)

----------

Lots of mirroring and parallel play hangouts, they're all both cats and golden retrievers your honor. Sun will pick up YN and/or pace. Moon will flop over/near them. YN is good with both jkldk They can hang out in silence, or talk for HOURS.

YN will just start singing a random silly thing and bouncing in place and the bots will sometimes mirror (Moon not so much verbally but he can hum, and Sun can actually talk through the speakers (buttons) on their chest while Moon is out anyway)

Oh yeah that's another thing! Sun can help Moon out if he's out but has a hard time communicating, because they can both talk while the other's out as part of their duet setting. They don't often do it, though, because most of the staff would freak out if they knew they were both active at the same time? Which is silly, it's literally built into their routines/gimmick!

Man now I am thinking of so many nice hangouts (of course its not ALL sunshine and rainbows but. They click well.

#asks #beloved luce #beloved moots #break a leg!au #dca au

[thegayneurodivergentagenda]

hi hello pran autism anon here again!! i just watched ep 4 again and i noticed at the scene when pat comes to give pran his earphones, and lets himself in, pran repeatedly expresses his distaste at the fact for two reasons. yes, he doesn’t want pat infringing on his privacy or messing up his meticulously arranged living space. but it's the other reason that intrigues me when looking at pran through an autistic lens. he repeats that pat entered without being let in. he's very bothered not only by pat's actions, but also the fact that pat is breaking a social norm. as an autistic person, i find that i tend to feel uncomfortable when i see other people not follow social norms, which i feel is because i've had to consciously learn these and remind myself to follow them for years. i feel like pran is having a similar internal experience here, where he's seeing pat do something that isn't considered 'socially acceptable', which bothers him because he has a script in his head that he's built up over the years, and this doesn't follow the script that he uses to dictate what is and isn't okay to do, what does and doesn't get him acceptance from his peers etc. he then comments that pat 'has no manners'. i think this is a pretty common thing that many autistic people have experienced, being told we have no manners because we unconsciously broke an unwritten social rule we never learnt about. pran, in my opinion, can't help but project the rules he's learnt to help himself fit in and mask onto other people. it might be a very small detail to focus on, but it's something that really got me thinking.

thank you for reading my rant about literally three lines of dialogue!! hope you have a great day!!!

I love you anon.

I know you didn't technically ASK me to rant about Pran's relationship w his room but I have too much to say and I hope you're okay w that.

So

Pran and his room: from the lens of autism

1. As someone with autism, social rules and norms that we agree with are set in stone. So your analysis about Pat breaking a social rule makes a lot of sense. Especially when you see the other interactions at the food stall and music shop (you're not supposed to sniff people????????????)

2. It's also likely that he's very transparently present in his room. For people with autism, our rooms are our safe spaces and worst nightmares because they reflect so much of who we are. If they are messy, It's our mess. If it's organized, It's customised to our space. Rooms, dorms and other living spaces are basically a self portrait.

Which is why when Pat dares enter and sneak a peak at his barest self, lit with fairy lights and faces telling him how to smile, rituals along every curve and table, he feels scared. What if Pat notices his smilies and thinks he's still a child (he should have overcome the hyperfixation by now? Will Pat understand?) What if Pat notices his coffee stained couch and calls Pran on being an imposter who only pretends to get angry at messy stains. There's so many ways Pat could see behind his carefully constructed masks.

His apprehension from pat entering could be from not letting Pat see him.

And that's also why he holds the social norm of asking before entering so close to his daily functioning; revels in the safety of enforcing this rule rigidly.

[I sometimes liken this to the idea of a nest in the omegaverse where it's extremely personal and reflective of the person making it. I also love the omega verse so much because it takes a lot of neurodivergent traits and makes them seem normal and that's just another post altogether]

3. When Pat and Pran finally get their shit together Pran let's Pat change his room and make the space theirs. It's the biggest declaration of love if I've ever seen one. He let's Pat put up photos and shares his bed and doubles the Pillows and makes space for Nong Nao. All because he's ready to allow Pat in his space. Across the rituals. Inside his safety.

4. The fact that the most crucial of the moments (The Kiss, The Bet, The Ming) happen away from the safety of his room goes along with this and his canon OCD.

If you're living with OCD, safe spaces can turn into compulsions at the sight of threat. And the fact that he was so adamant on keeping the relationship behind closed doors felt a lot like stemming not just from his anxiety about his parents but also his imposter syndrome: It's a glitch in the matrix that Pat likes me back and we should not test the matrix lest it remind Pat I'm an annoyance that he rather not deal with.

If you have autism, the safety of your room provides familiar and clear cues that could be helpful if an emergency is to arrive (I could just start talking about the rotting food if conversations get tougher// I could go to my own washroom and pretend to take my time if I feel overwhelmed). These safety nets are not present Outside.

And it is through his autism that Pran shows his love to Pat.

He let's Pat break his rules constantly. Not because they don't cause him discomfort. They still do. But his love for Pat is just greater than that.

He will let Pat drag him outside. Let Pat post photos of him. Let Pat make a mess on his kitchen table. Go with Pat to an unknown room.

As Anon said, these rules and norms and safe spaces are all in place because of being reprimanded for being neurodivergent by the neurotypical system builders. They are precautions to avoid being hurt or being called out on the fact that they don't belong.

But Pran doesn't feel hurt in Pat's presence. Because regardless of if they are friends or enemies, they've always belonged together.

#hi anon i love you #and i hope you know your efforts are appreciated sm in this home #i cant help but feel like youre apprehensive about the accuracy of your analysis #but i hope you know that youre so insightful and fun? #all autism is different in its nuances and i love you for putting in so much efforts for our dear old pran #bad buddy #patpran #bad buddy brain rot #bad buddy text posts #autism #neurodivergent #ill wait for anon to become non anon but take your time bb #we have hugs for you!!!

[rockabully]

Also what’s the difference between greasers and rockabillies 👀 I genuinely wanna know

OH BOY!!!!!! Okay, so, the key difference is that rockabilly pertains to music, as the name of the subculture is also literally the name of the music genre. think elvis presley, gene vincent, eddie cochran, stray cats. rockabilly subculture is similar to how the emo subculture is, being so music predominant. you can be a rockabilly without being a greaser. and vice versa.

greaser, a term that has roots as a ethnic slur used towards those who are latino and or mediterranean (by the way you CAN say greaser, it's not forbidden, as it is used to refer to the subculture in a non-offensive way, but you still can use it in an offensive way, and you should watch yourself so you are not saying or calling someone a greaser in a way where it is being USED AS a slur), is more about social class, and race. although, it is a multiethnic subculture, so it was not only embraced by italian & latino americans, even though they were the predominant groups. it's important to recognize and understand the roots of the word!!

greasers helped evolve the rockabilly subculture, i believe, as they heavily borrow from each other and are basically like cousins to one another. greaser subculture is also noted to embrace rock n roll and rockabilly and doo wop music genres, so look it gets even more complex there.

i think a good distinction that could help is that cry-baby (1990) is definitely about rockabillies, with the way it is treated and how musical it is, while the outsiders is about greasers. though a lot could be argued about what i said, since it's a great oversimplification. btw cry baby sucks. hate that movie. also teen beach movie has rockabillies, not greasers. they're also bikers. another subculture.

there's a lot to it and i think the more that you interact with the subcultures, consume the media about them, and sort of think about it the more apparent the differences are and can be, although there is a ton of overlap. it's hard to directly explain in words the differences besides say "rockabillies are music, greaser is about social class. they both embrace rebellion, leather, hair pomade and switchblades."

it's also important that you can be a greaser or a rockabilly and not adhere to all the "rules" of the subculture. posers don't exist. unless you're obviously mocking it or costuming it. these are just labels and humans are insanely expansive and complex creatures, and we can be whatever we want.

blehhhh i'm neurodivergent bleerrhuugghh i love greasers and rockabillies blegurgghghhhghhghh does this make sense aahhghfhhhbbkeeghrghhhhhhhh subcultures are complex and ever expanding bleeurughhh do not take my words as gospel as i am a simple black collegiate who studies communication arts bleurughh and you should also absolutely ask other people for their take on it and do a lot of research and such if you are personally very interested in learning more about the subculture :-]

#ask #rockabilly #greaser #💥

[etherealsign282]

In terms of high school posting, i feel so disconnected from posts about stories with makeup and friendships and parties and cliques and stereotypical goofy drama because I never had a gaggle of friends to gossip to about that shit. But I'm also too disconnected from posts about hardass rebelling, emo problems, loud music and "shut up mom, I'm brooding!". Getting into fights and getting arrested and running away from home and purposely being a loner.

I can relate to the posts about being bullied, but that's it. And sometimes, not even then because it's about someone being too geeky and nerdy and smart. Or talking about being weird but "omg he likes anime" weird, or good old "pretending to be a cat" weird, not "there isn't even a stereotypical label to describe them" weird.

I was emo and a geek and had a cat phase but nobody cared about that, they cared about treating me like shit because I was weird weird, and lacked social skills and was confused on how to human, which turned out to be because of autism mixed with undiagnosed mental health problems.

I never see any relatable 'tism/ND posting about being the weird kid,

Who has maybe two equally weird/labeled by the school as "developmentally disabled" friends (probably should have been a sign for me that I was different since neurodivergent people tend to gravitate toward other neurodivergent people),

That gets taken advantage of by the "normal" "cool" people,

That isn't really aware of social cues, social standards, or social cliques- basically anything that has societal rules

Who doesn't get into real crushes or relationship stuff that isn't exploitation (or ND dating where nothing happens except awkward hangouts),

Who doesn't really get anything ever and moves through school on autopilot, trying to figure stuff on our own bc we don't want to look incapable and ask for help but then we end up super behind and everyone labels you as lazy and "dumb",

Who tries to do things that might get attention bc we don't understand how to interact, but usually ends up with negative responses,

That then holes up inside with our personal hyperfixations in the hope we stop being noticed, but now we're known as the idiot weirdo so we have "no choice" but to be picked on bc we made it known we aren't normal,

And our anguish is seen as dramatic or not serious enough because we're too "stupid" to be depressed, so we're seen as even more of a joke than emos, even by emos,

And aren't officially diagnosed with the 'tism or any other neurodivergency (mostly because "people with autism are smart and you're failing your classes and dont understand anything ever" stereotype) for anybody to be fake nice and pity this "stupidity " of ours, via specific school and social worker orders.

So if you were or are one of those kids, this one is for you. Shout out to all my neurodivergent friends who feel like they can't relate to any posts about crazy high school stories, because yall masked or interacted the wrong way and it made people bully or abandon you , while you sat wondering what the hell you did so wrong. And because you don't or didn't do the stigmatized versions of being weird, something "must" be actually wrong with you because you're even more hated than if you put "cat girl", "anime guy", and "emo bitch" all together.

(Esp to afabs, since doctors were and are still very insistent to not diagnose us with autism and we're usually the ones that get no sympathy as a result because we're just psycho weird girlies to everyone else)

*BTW not knocking or competing with anybody that has the stereotypical tropes of being bullied, this is just a shout out to people who NEVER get noticed*

#autistic experiences #autistic masking #autistic things #actually autistic #autistic community #autistic problems #autistic afab #actually neurodiverse #neurodiverse stuff #social cues #social conditioning #high school #school #its the neurodivergency #neurodivergent problems #outcast #different

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Hi, I know I've sent you a lot of asks recently but I am about to start a gap year for my mental health because I was struggling to attend lectures and exams and things when studying Earth Science (with a focus on palaeobiology in future years) at uni (I am hoping to eventually get a PhD and study dinosaurs professionally). So I'm here to ask.

When I go back to uni next year, do you have tips on managing anxiety so I can effectively attend lectures and study.

Anything I can do in my time outside Academia to make sure I keep my skills up and further my studies in dinosaur palaeontology.

I figured I might gets some useful advice from someone in the field I plan to go into, and if you can't answer my questions can you point me to someone I can.

Thanks for your time

Hooooo boy I feel you on this. Anxiety has been one of my major problems in this field. I have a lot of trauma and insecurity, and it's affected my work a lot.

the biggest things I have in terms of advice for managing mental health issues in academia:

dedicating your life to studying a single topic (or single group of topics) so in depth for so little money is patently ridiculous in our current society. So most people around you are also mentally ill in some form - neurodivergency in academia is extremely high, and anxiety is just openly talked about on the regular. So you're NOT alone. That helps some people, at least.

This is not a race. There is no race. However long it takes you to finish school is however long it takes. Better to pace yourself and manage your mental health than to try and rush or push yourself and worsen said mental health.

Grades legitimately do not matter at the end of the day. Even for grad school. Like, flunking is bad, and everything; but if you can show you understand things or do research, you still can go to grad school. At least in the states.

Nobody's perfect, and that includes scientists. So you'll make mistakes. And that's okay. Everyone makes mistakes, myself included. The point isn't avoiding mistakes, it's learning from them.

People are significantly more preoccupied with themselves and how other people see them than they are with other people. So when you feel like people are judging you, odds are, they are not - you're just judging yourself. So feeling more comfortable in front of others and sharing your work begins with feeling more comfortable with yourself

Regularly engage with things that help your mental health. For some folks that's therapy. For some others, that's spirituality. For yet others, that's social interaction. The list goes on. I'm not going to prescribe for you a particular treatment, just recommend that you do something outside of school to help you

Contact the disability office of your school. They rarely can help - I know from experience - but they can sometimes, so it's worth a shot

Have hobbies outside of school. I know it looks like I spend all my time blogging about dinosaurs and thinking about paleontology, but I have other hobbies and interests. Heck, even bad TV can help, something that doesn't make you think too much. I'm rewatching how I met your mother because I just need something stupid to watch. Such escapes are necessary for people in academia

Those are the big things. I also recommend reaching out to people at your particular institution

In terms of keeping up with things when you're on break, I'd recommend reading papers as much as you can, keeping up with the news, and think about paleontology when you feel up for it - try to come up with questions you can research, things like that

I hope that helps

#advice #paleontology #science #academia #neurodivergent