#because talking about real experiences is often more feasible than relating our emotions to *your* emotions without some connecting thread

[queencvbra]

Random but it feels important to say but I just watched this tiktok and this guy said that someone empathizing with another person by telling them a story about how they experienced the same thing is a red flag and, I quote, “love how you’re making things about yourself”, and I just really need y’all to understand that there is a difference between someone deflecting from what you’re going through and trying to put attention on themselves and a neurodivergent person trying to prove to you that yes they can personally relate to you and empathize with what you’re going through because of a similar experience. That’s not trying to “make things about themselves”, that’s genuinely trying to make you feel seen and like you have someone who is there and understands at least to some degree besties.

#[ooc] #it’s particularly a big thing with adhd I know and personally I do this a lot #I also purposefully write Tory as doing this a lot because it is such a prevalent adhd trait #neurodivergent people have different ways of relating to other people than neurotypicals do and it’s not a bad thing or a red flag #you just have to understand that it’s not coming from a place of self importance it’s meant as an attempt to validate your own experience #sometimes it’s easier for neurodivergent people to relate via tangible experiences #especially when we don’t feel like our own abstract thoughts and how we relate to our own emotions make sense to anyone else #yes there are people that do try to make everything about themselves but again there is a big difference #and you can usually tell because those people will keep continuously derailing and trying to stop you talking about yourself #when usually when it's someone trying to relate to you their own addition is meant to be just that: an addition #the intention at least in my experience is to give you space to talk and also make you feel seen and validate you #instead of just going 'sucks for you' 80% of the time bc that feels ???? can't explain it. it feels unproductive at least to my brain. #and yeah sometimes things can come across as awkward or it can be easy to take it the wrong way because again #it's not the 'normal' social convention #so just understand that if you're interacting with someone that's neurodivergent and they do this #9/10 times it's with the best intentions only and it's someone with a different brain chemistry trying to be a good listener/friend #because talking about real experiences is often more feasible than relating our emotions to *your* emotions without some connecting thread #okay now back to your regularly schedule chaotic karate content that tiktok just set me off a little bit lmao

[uncloseted]

why do you think it seems like people are more depressed and anxious now than ever before ? do you think social media has something to do with it ?

Okay so first a few disclaimers.  I’m not a mental health professional or an epidemiologist, so these should be taken more as casual speculation than fact.  Also, I grew up in the US, so a lot of this is likely US-centric, but I think a lot of these factors are problems that are prevalent throughout the world. So in order to answer this question, the first thing we have to ask is what causes anxiety and depression in the first place?  A lot of people (especially on Tumblr) have a tendency to blame “brain chemicals”, which is true in part, but not the entire story.  Depression and anxiety are complex, and what causes them is multifaceted.  These causes can also include (but aren’t limited to) genetic vulnerability, faulty mood regulation, stressful life events, medications, medical problems, early childhood loses and trauma, the way you learn to relate to the world in childhood, and structural differences in the brain.  It should be noted that hormones and hormone fluctuations are included in that, which may be part of why teenagers present with more symptoms of mental health issues than other people.

The first thing we should consider and something I think accounts for a lot of the increase in depression and anxiety is access to mental health care.  As we talk about depression and anxiety more as a culture and as our health care systems become more aware of mental illness, more people are being diagnosed with mental health issues and speaking about those diagnoses freely.  The criteria for depression and anxiety has also become slightly more flexible than it used to be, which also means that more people are being diagnosed.  However, while more people are being diagnosed, those people aren’t necessarily getting a holistic approach to treatment.  Many people are diagnosed by their primary care doctor and given mediation, but do not see a therapist or make lifestyle changes.  So, more people being diagnosed but not necessarily more people getting adequate treatment or recovering.

Moving on to lifestyle changes, our culture is not ideally suited for good mental health.  As a culture, our diets aren’t great, we don’t sleep enough, we don’t exercise, we’re culturally isolated and often lacking in community, we don’t do things for other people, we don’t get a lot of downtime or vacation time, and we aren’t taught how to regulate our emotions or deal with negative feelings (and are often taught maladaptive coping mechanisms instead).  All of this can play a real part in making people who are already predisposed to being anxious or depressed worse. 

We also have a lot of conflicting cultural expectations- on the one hand we’re supposed to do what we love and be happy, but we’re also expected to be successful and functioning members of society, which don’t always go hand in hand.  And our focus on being happy can actually be counterproductive- when people become very focused on happiness, they become anxious about not feeling happy or about how to feel happier, which in turn brings their mood down.  Our reliance on digital devices also plays into this; some research has shown that those who have grown up with technology use their devices as a coping mechanism (to ignore or escape from negative emotion) and are emotionally unprepared to deal with difficult situations because of it.


On the topic of devices, I do think media and social media also play a role in this problem.  It used to be that the media you had access to was primarily local news, and occasionally something national or international.  Now, we are inundated with news from all over the world, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  This causes a unique problem; we are aware of all sorts of bad things happening in the world, more than ever before, and I think many of us feel like we have a responsibility to do something about each and every one of those issues but can’t.  That helplessness and feeling of responsibility contributes, I think, to a lot of people’s anxiety.  The current political situation also isn’t helping, particularly if you’re young, liberal, or part of a marginalized group.  Feeling like the world is falling apart because of our elected officials can be really scary, especially again when you feel like you don’t have any control over the situation.

As far as social media goes,  we are constantly presented with images of other people with which to compare ourselves against, and I think even if we consciously know that, those images can make us feel inadequate or like we need to be doing more.
  Comparison has been scientifically proven to be the thief of joy, whether we consciously recognize it or not.

We’re also a generation entering into a poor economy, and a lot of us are over-educated and under-employed.  However, our parents ideas of what we “should” be doing are still there- buy a house in the suburbs, get married, have children- things that are not necessarily financially feasible anymore.  And so again, a mismatch between expectations others have of us and the reality of our situation that causes feelings of inadequacy.  And when it comes to work, many of us are in jobs where we’re under-stimulated, doing way less work than the amount of hours we’re at work for, or where we’re (to borrow from Marx) alienated from our labor.  School is similar; it’s not really designed with students in mind, and it isn’t always a stimulating experience where you can see the purpose of what you’re learning.

On the topic of parents, that has contributed to rising levels of anxiety and depression as well.  “Helicopter parents” make their children reliant on them, and when that child grows up and has to be an adult, they’re unprepared to be independent, which can cause a lot of anxiety.  Helicopter parents are also likely to be anxious themselves, and so they model anxious behavior for their children, causing their children to be anxious adults when they grow up.

I think the amount of choice we have also contributes to the anxiety/depression question.  When you’re told what you should do, that can suck, but at least you have an idea of what the “right” choice is.  We have an unlimited number of choices that we have to make each and every day with very little guidance as to what the right choice is, but lots of expectations about how we should be. Again, anxiety provoking- what if you make the wrong decision and fail to live up to expectations?  Along with that, we have an idea that we’re in control of our own lives and every decision that we make.  In happiness research, there’s this idea of the “locus of control”- basically how much control you think you have over your life.  People with low loci of control are happier than those who feel like they’re in control of everything, and so I think having so much choice and so much control is contributing to why people are unhappy.  And as a result of that high locus of control, we spend a lot more time thinking about the past and the future, and less time sitting with ourselves in the present.  We don’t give ourselves a lot of downtime to just exist, without external distractions or letting our thoughts control our experiences.  Learning how to be mindful and fully present is an important skill in order to battle depression and anxiety.

Culturally, like I said before,  I think depression and anxiety have become more acceptable to talk about, which is good!  But those discussions are also creating a sort of echo chamber, where everyone around you is also struggling.  I think the sort of “depression meme culture” we’re seeing online today is actually a problem because of that- people are pulling each other down instead of working together to recover from their mental health problems.  It’s becoming normalized to be a teenager or twenty something with a mental health issue, and the more we accept this as normal, the less people will seek help or treatment.

Last one, and this is a strange one, but bear with me here- I think that 9/11 had a huge impact on the anxiety levels of people born in the 90s in the US (and I imagine similar events that have happened in other countries would have the same impact).  I think children who saw that happen but couldn’t really process the situation are more likely to become anxious adults because to a ten year old brain it seems like something terrible could happen anytime, anywhere, and that trains our brains to constantly be on red alert, waiting for the next catastrophic thing to happen.  I would guess this is especially true of people (like me) who lived in New York when it happened.
  On a larger scale, I think many of us have never really had the luxury of living in a world that’s (seemingly) working well and at peace, and there’s kind of a generalized, low-level anxiety that comes with that.

This definitely isn’t a comprehensive look at the issue, but hopefully this gives some insight into it at the very least.  If you all can think of other factors that might contribute to the rise in anxiety and depression, please send them in!

[isitandwonder]

A while ago there was an interview going round with Luca and Armie, published in the German Vogue in January 2017. I finally got hold of a copy and translated it into English.

@foryou-insilence - it’s on it’s way to you!

Just a few remarks:

I’m not a translator, so this is just what I made of it. I tried to give a choice of words when the meaning could have different nuances. If you have any questions, just ask. If anyone has better ideas how to phrase or translate it, pelase, have at it.

I think the interview was conducted in English, then translated into German, and now I translated it back into English. Something might have been lost along the way.

It seems a bit jumpy in topics, so I think it was initially longer or they omitted the questions asked by the interviewer.

They use the informal you (Du) in the German text instead of the more formal address (Sie), indicating a relationship of equals. I also got the feeling that it was done during filming, because they both often use present tense when talking about CMBYN.

If anyone wants a scan just send me a PM and provide an email address.

Completed! [Could also mean 'hyphy']

Director Luca Guadagnino and actor Armie Hammer talk the power of sensuality, ugly beauty and sex in front of the camera

The Italian director Luca Guadagnino is a master of the emotional intimate drama like I Am Love (with Tilda Swinton) and A Bigger Splash (with Ralph Fiennes) which unsettle and enthrall through their intensity. Armie Hammer distinguished himself through his multilayered interpretation of discrete parts/roles, not least his dual role as the Winklevoss-twins in The Social Network. Now, Luca Guadagnino earmarked for him the part of Oliver in his film based on Andrè Aciman's novel Call Me By Your Name (Berlinale 2017), a young American drawn into an amour fou.

For this Vogue talk, both met in the Palazzo Albergoni in Lombardy, a century-old villa, that is, in the movie, inhabited by an American Professor, his Italian wife and their 17-year-old son Elio. Oliver is a guest at their house, and like him, Armie Hammer was transformed by his Italian experience.

AH: We already talked about that the mood of the film is relaxed and at ease. Thanks to you [in the translation, the informal 'you' is used], this is also true  beyond the camera. And that even despite the difficult circumstances, the rainy weather, for example.

LG: This happens without me thinking about it. I like having guests. And this film is about someone who is a guest, a visitor. Many aspects of human relationships can't be controlled, but some stuff can be defused/disarmed. Filming is a hectic process/action full of conflict, related to personal discomfiture/unease. Filming A Bigger Splash was all about that. This time I wanted to avoid such tension. But there's always inner tension, that mounts through shooting and is connected to the content of the film. I try to channel the intensity within my staff into the story. Especially the cultural  differences between Italian, French and Americans gad to be channeled.

AH: Your movies are always set in Italy, despite their international cast?

LG: It is easier to organize. To tell the truth, I hope this will be the last film for a long time that I shot in Italy. By the way, I wanted to work with you for a long time, and Call Me By Your Name was the right moment to ask you. The international cast wasn't a conscious decision/consideration, it just happened naturally. As a European director I wouldn't cast Americans if it wasn't for the benefit of the story.

AH: I love the filming experience and the life in Crema, where we live. It's the most picturesque little town I can imagine. No one speaks English. That's absolutely new for me as an American, who usually gets through with it [English] everywhere. I immerse myself 24 hours a day into this other world. It's a somewhat analogue experience. My smartphone is usually switched off, mostly because of the time difference. This isolation makes it easier to concentrate on the project. I have the feeling to have ended up in another universe.

LG: Seriously? You don't know this kind of film-making?

AH: Absolutely not. I've never worked with a director with whom i felt clicking from the get go. I just walked into a world where everything is lovable/amiable, the colleagues, you, this villa.

LG: But isn't it always like this? Now you got me interested.

AH: You give me the feeling of being an equal. Here's no hierarchy, the director isn't some kind of god on top [of a mountain] and I, as an actor, stand beneath him, even beneath the author and producer and so on.

LG: So that's how it usually is?

AH: Yes, especially with projects with gigantic budgets made by large studios. With those, you are just an actor who has to fit a casting mold.

LG: As a director, I always feel like a young school child with yet many years before graduating. I still have to learn and research a lot. I don't just want to gain a notion/concept of the fictive characters, but from the actors as well. This stance might spring from films made in the post-war era and exploded in the 1970s. Directors like Scorsese or Coppola blurred the lines between actors, characters and plot. I ask myself how I can do a bigger movie with this attitude/mindset, an action movie for example that I like to do next.

AH: Like French Connection?

LG: Absolutely. As a viewer, one gets completely pulled into the life of the policemen, played by Gene Hackman and Roy Schneider. You sense the risk they and the director have taken. The film is a phenomenal adrenaline rush Something like that is enormously inspiring. I'm not interested in fiction, I hate the artificial, the construed, polished. I want to discover something while filming, I want to, how do you say it...?

AH: You want to be a midwife?

LG: Exactly. I'm a midwife. And my new interpretation of Suspiria will get equally personal as Call Me By Your Name. I always felt that I wanted to do this film again. I want to acknowledge the feelings it evoked in me when I was ten. I hope it will shock the audience.

AH: That is an interesting approach to make a film, to let the audience feel what you once felt.

LG: Just like I hope I can convince the audience with our film that it doesn't matter with whom you fall in love.

AH: That you can fall in love with everyone?

LG: I love the impossible and despise the possible/feasible. When I sense that something impossible is about to become real, I get enthusiastic.

AH: The novel by Andrè Aciman that inspired our film is a challenge as well. It is told from a very special perspective. You are totally in Elio's head. You hear his doubts and see the scenes like he paints them. But the film is more the study of two human being who overcome all conceivable obstacles and fears.

LG: A face can tell a lot about what's going on inside [one's head]. And when you have fantastic actors, they create an emotional world that becomes tangible while watching them.

AH: Usually, I do months of research before I start filming and read everything I can get my fingers on. But the information I need for Oliver can't be drawn from Aciman's novel. Instead, I tried to find out what it meant to grow up during the 70s and 80s. And I tried to acquaint myself with the Jewish identity, which is important for my role. But particularly did I try to understand the atmosphere/mood of the film. My character is curious, sensual/sensible and open for everything that  he comes across. It doesn't matter if it's a glass of peach juice, Elio or young Chiara. He moves differently in the world than I do. To understand that was a big part of my preparation.

LG: The film doesn't portray Oliver like Monica Belluci was enacted in Maléna by Guiseppe Tornatore – as a beautiful woman to stare at. That he's a handsome man was but an ironic detail for me. All characters are beautiful, but not because of their outward appearance but because we are allowed to look into their heart and soul. What is important is the emotional journey/process Elio embarks on, and which we can experience through his looks. How does he act on his infatuation/crush? Does he create something deeper/more profound out of it?

AH: I recognized that in the whole movie there isn't one single beauty shot, which is all about the most attractive angle in flattering sunlight, to draw attention to a face. Nonetheless, every angle is gorgeous, in all your films. They are always careful yet cunning/subtle.

LG: I'm interested in sensuality, not beauty. If I hear the word beauty I take up arms. For me, it's about how humans surrender to sensuality. In the end, you can't say no to an erotic challenge. Another impossibility I constantly think about.

AH: Water is a sensual element in this movie.

LG: And I can't even swim. When I set foot into water I drown. I hate the ocean/sea, I hate the heat, I hate the humidity, I hate the people surrounding me, I don't want to present myself naked in front of them. Even Pantelleria [an Italian island] disgusted me during filming A Bigger Splash.

AH: That's kinda funny: we filmed some/huge parts of this film in the water and you hate it!

LG: It's about its meaning in the movie, like the sex scenes. They are meaningless as well if they are not some sort of dialogue between two people.

AH: Believe it or not, I had my first nude/sex scene in Call Me By Your Name!

LG: What? You didn't do this before?

AH: No! But you and the crew just handled it like it wasn't something special, just like every other scene. And as soon as it says 'Cut!' you come up like out of a fog: there's the boom operator, the camera man, just doing their job.  I wished I could bottle feelings, the feelings before and after a scene. I would need weeks to understand and explain the difference. Anyway, it doesn't feel like something special/particular for me as well by now.

LG: You did it totally emotionally believable/true. It was fantastic. Actors are in a very fragile place.

AH: We are very exposed, not only because the whole crew is there.

LG: The actor grants the director a huge credit of trust/takes a leap of faith. And then the film is released into an unknown world.

AH: But that's exactly why I became an actor.

LG: And when do you turn into a director?

AH: I certainly will never write my own script. I lack the concentration to devote myself to it for months on end. But I'd madly love to direct. But when I see how effortless and fluent this process is for someone like you, I think I'll never be able to do that.

LG: What does it mean, in your opinion, to be a director? You already worked with the best.

AH: I think it's about to reconcile everyone and always keep track of everything. I have no idea what goes on inside a director, it all happens out of view. And it's so fast that I fear to interfere/impede everything when I ask a question. But there are other directors who work differently, who think out loud prior to every scene, where the camera should be placed.

LG: Do you prefer that?

AH: Of course. No one's so close to the camera as the actor. And if the director walks over and talks to the camera man, I listen closely. I always knew I wanted to work in movies, in whatever job. As a kid I went to the cinema every weekend and watched everything on the bill. I had no idea what a director or producer does, and so actor was the obvious choice.

LG: Directing means to be an outsider. You have to man up for a job that's deep and dark.

AH: Why? What is the reason for this alienation?

LG: Today I thought about what I like. When I grew up, I loved directors who's movies were strong, uncompromising and hard to bear. Those films were inherently unsuccessful but later became legends: Stanley Kubrik, for example, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, Michael Powell, Federico Fellini. I can't make a Hollywood movie under these conditions, you are dead before you get a second chance. Therefore: I like directors who do what they want and address my desires. It is frightening, but I as well always get what I want. I was in love with Ralph Fiennes, his pictures hung in my room. And then he worked with me in A Bigger Splash. It is important to get what you really want. I truly have to own and desire the actors who work on my movies.

AH: Was that the case with me as well?

LG: When I saw The Social Network: yes, the film is brilliant, the script is great, Jesse Eisenberg is a fantastic Mark Zuckerberg – but who the fuck are the Winklevoss twins? There was something in you that I wanted to bring out in front of a camera.

AH: And we did it.

LG: My next goal is to find/expose your dark side. As an actor, are you seduced or a seducer? I always hear that actors are seductive. But as a directorI have to say that they also get seduced and sometimes even betrayed.

AH: Those who are not involved in the process of film-making romaticize the existence of actors. It would be wonderful if I was mobbed with scripts. But the truth is, there are so very few fine directors and great scripts that everybody wants the part as soon as it hits the market. In this fight for the one chance I feel like a prize boxer. Sure, there are colleagues who automatically receive fantastic offers...

LG:... but you don't want that, not really.

AH: True, but you seduced me and it was 100% worth it. Filming with you left a huge impression in my personal and professional life.

LG: It is irrelevant how many films you do a year as an actor. The only important thing is to give an emotional iconic performance. Which you did. That's how film history works. That's how I see it, and I'm a film historian.

AH: You know more about film than anyone else. And that's why you do such nice/lovely movies. But you cast such an interesting/interested glance on many things, on everything, whatever it is. Your reasoning is always cultivated, thought through.

LG: The practical problems in film making are so overwhelming, you have to work with each shot and then with the sum of it.

AH: I worked with directors who decided 'the trees have to stand differently'.

LG: It is crazy. That's how I wanted it when I was 17. You film in a garden that gets arranged to your will. But that's not how it works.

AH: I also know other directors who just let things happen, like midwives.

LG: There we come back to the masters of the craft. They didn't close the door to reality, like Jean Renoir once said.

#armie hammer #luca guadagnino #interview

[digitalhovel]

Celeste is a fantastic game, and a great metaphor for mental illness

Celeste is a brutal, unrelenting game. It is also one of the most heartwarming gaming experiences I’ve ever had. I suppose that’s not a terribly high bar: I simply haven’t played many games with a good deal of emotional development, and even fewer with an outright focus on mental health. What results from the combination of those heartwarming moments and the (sometimes infuriating) platforming puzzles is one of the most satisfying gaming experiences I’ve had, both mechanically and in its message.

Celeste was created by a small team of independent artists and programmers, headed by Matt Makes Games. The game feels carefully crafted; every dialogue line is realistic, every screen is a unique challenge, and every stage is delightful in its unique obstacles and design elements. Want to fly through a pastel skyscape? Celeste has your back. Want to explore a lost jungle? Celeste has that too. Want to investigate abandoned, ancient ruins of castles and occult sites? Yep, that’s also an option. There’s a bit of everything on the eponymous mountain, and that alone makes the journey worth it, even if that journey is a tough one.

I am a masochistic gamer. I enjoy games that taunt the player with the promise that every jump, every dash, every challenge is possible. Not easy, not even worthwhile, just possible. Celeste does have an assist mode that can be toggled on, allowing players to complete the game with less punishment for dying and less stress on the difficult sections. It’s a glorious feature that marks (hopefully) a change in how we define playing and beating videogames. This only supports the reasoning behind the difficult design: everything is possible. If things seem impossible, there’s an option to even the playing field back out. Celeste isn’t about doing the impossible; it’s about doing something difficult in the face of internal (and external obstacles).

The game takes its name from the biggest obstacle: Celeste Mountain. The player controls Madeline, a woman dead-set on reaching the mountain’s summit, no matter what. But Madeline doesn’t have a backstory-heavy, lore-filled reason for doing this. Sometimes, you just need to climb a mountain. Madeline also has depression, and the game does great work of representing some of the symptoms of this: self-doubt, unintended hostility, anxiety, and panic attacks, to name a few. That’s the beauty of the possibilities Celeste dangles in front of the player. When living with mental illness (disclaimer: I cannot speak for everyone, and I only speak from my particular experiences), tasks can seem overwhelmingly daunting, even when you know they remain completely feasible.

I most often deal with obsessive intrusive thoughts, and sometimes dealing with symptoms of mental illness feels like being stuck on a stage in Celeste. I can see the end goal, and I have an idea of how to get to it. I then try to brute force my way there, using the same tactic every time, waiting until it works out. Sometimes it works. Sometimes I have to change my plans. But at the end of the day, I get to decide when I give up or move on. There is no mockery for this. The game never degrades the player for giving up. Instead, the game offers acceptance and the knowledge that if I feel like it, if I learn more, I can come back later and finish what I was doing. In this way, Celeste trains its players to forgive themselves for their shortcomings.

The levels remind the player there’s always another chance. You don’t lose anything when you die in Celeste; you simply respawn at the front of the screen, exactly where you were twenty seconds ago. This breaks something insurmountable into tiny, achievable pieces. While on their own they can be frustrating, looking back at them, I can only feel pride and remember the difficulty fondly because I surpassed it. While I may not review life challenges with a similar plucky nostalgia, I can be happy that I have persisted beyond them and that they don’t define me. It’s one of the main reasons videogames are an excellent art medium for exploring issues like mental illness in a gentle, yet direct, way. There is a safety in the world of the game that reality does not often allow.

I would be remiss to talk about this game and its relation to mental health without mentioning dynamics of support. Celeste is not a dialogue-heavy game; it’s a platformer. There aren’t NPCs to barter with, there’s no merchant for upgrades, and there certainly aren’t social mechanics like in Stardew Valley or Harvest Moon. Instead, the game offers optional discussions. Knowing this, I entered Celeste Mountain with only one personal goal: to complete every conversation with every NPC possible. The characters Madeline meets are all unique, humorous characters who all have a reason for being there. Whenever the player meets one of them, Madeline’s first dialogue is usually skeptical and suspicious, but after that, the player can leave. The player is under no obligation to continue speaking with the other characters. Making these conversations optional is one of the most rewarding choices I’ve seen in game design. It feels like the player is a willing participant. Characters don’t just monologue at you; they want to talk with you (even if all the responses are scripted). Because of this, the developing relationships feel far more real than many of the triple-A titles where characters fight and die for each other after little more than a few words spoken in the shadows. Taking the time to get to know these characters also allows Madeline to open up and grow in a way many game protagonists don’t. Her struggles and motivations become more clear, and the player gains a sense of the self-acceptance Madeline needs to build in order to accomplish the feat of climbing Celeste Mountain. I know I wouldn’t be where I am without the support of friends. Those relationships are crucial to figuring out oneself, and nothing makes facing the hardships more worthwhile than knowing there’ll be someone to talk to on the other side. Those conversations are maybe one of the most rewarding sequences in any game I’ve played, and they make the incredible experience of Celeste even more worthwhile,

Celeste is a game about self-discovery and self-acceptance. It’s about recognizing limits and working within them to achieve great things. It’s about seeing the near-impossible as doable. It’s about living with mental illness and persisting. More than anything, it’s about growth and accomplishment. Whatever mountains we may face, we will surmount them, one step at a time, with our friends there to help us.

(Special thanks to Harley Harris/Heckadoodles, who helped me edit this piece)

#Celeste #game #videogame #thedigitalhovel #Digital Hovel #hovelreviews #review #mental health #mental illness #discovery #conversation #support

[ultratesterthings]

Five Americans Living in Social Democratic Norway Explain Why Bernie Sanders Is So Appealing

We are five Americans living in social democratic Norway. We think that our experiences provide a unique perspective as to why it is that so many Americans so strongly support the reforms called for by the platform of Sen. Bernie Sanders. Our time in Norway also helps to explain why it is so challenging for many Americans to imagine Sanders’ proposals in concrete terms. We draw from our dual reality of living in Norway while looking over—with critical eyes—at what’s going on in the United States.

"As Americans living in Norway, we have profoundly experienced what policies like universal health care, parental leave, free higher education, the right to vacation and sick pay mean for our lives. To experience the everyday effect of these policies has strengthened our political convictions."

The five of us moved from all corners of the U.S .to Norway, for different reasons. Despite these differences, we’ve all come to the conclusion that the Sanders campaign provides necessary answers to challenges that the U.S. faces. The five of us are constantly reminded of the many ways in which our lives in Norway stand in stark contrast to the lives of our friends and family back home. Americans often explain their political choices by drawing on concrete life experiences—it’s also the same with us. Notably, the years we’ve lived in Norway have provided us with visceral proof of the type of society it’s possible to create together and the time it may take for these possibilities to feel real.

Everyday social democracy: Three stories

Erika: “When I lived in the U.S., I was deeply engaged in movements for universal healthcare, and for workers and women’s rights. Nonetheless, I didn’t truly understand the impact of the rights I was championing until I first moved to Norway. When I arrived, I was five months pregnant with my first child and I was excited about the prospect of a new life in a land with generous public provisions. At the same time, I was scared and unsure, mostly because I couldn’t fathom a system where I could be seen by a doctor, right way, without significant paperwork or cost to me or my partner. With my first pregnancy check-up in Norway a week after arrival, I experienced firsthand my new reality. It felt strange and incredible to have access to these services, with no questions asked.

I had a difficult childbirth and was completely exhausted for several weeks after my son was born. At the time, I was enrolled in a demanding master’s program, for free! My twin sister, living in the US, gave birth to twin daughters in that same time period. She had felt the pressure to begin to work again almost right away and based on everything I knew, it never occurred to me that I shouldn’t do the same. I took 10 days off after the birth and slogged my way through the snow to go to my classes, leaving my son’s Norwegian father to use his parental leave and stay home with our son. I remember feeling proud of my strong work ethic when I completed my studies, but also feeling exhausted—both mentally and emotionally.

Two years later, I gave birth to my second child. In the years that had passed since the first, I’d continually seen Norwegian friends and colleagues taking 8 months to a year’s parental leave—paid leave from their jobs, from their studies, from all parts of life outside of caring for a newborn. This time, there was no doubt in my mind that I would do the same. With a huge feeling of relief, I took the weeks I needed before the birth and I took the months after. Although my politics had been far to the left when I lived in the US, it was only first after I’d lived some years in Norway that I actually felt I deserved to receive universal health care and paid parental leave. It was only then that I understood the everyday, emotional impact of what it was to have that right.”

Jen: “In recent years, I have been genuinely surprised upon learning that neither my sister nor my cousin, despite both having higher degrees and full-time positions, were not receiving paid vacation or sick leave from work. This past Christmas, my uncle, past age 70 and in poor health, left me equally thrown when he told me he wasn’t retiring because he ‘simply couldn’t afford to’. And yet, well beyond hearing these everyday realities, the thing that surprises me most is my family members responding to my shock with mild amusement and telling me that I’ve simply ‘been in Norway too long.’

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Are they right? Have I been in Norway so long that I no longer understand the everyday realities of the American worker? When did it happen that I could no longer imagine the type of work life they talk about? I’ve always had a good work ethic and I’ve understood that you have to work hard to earn money. But after so many years in Norway, the lack of work/life balance in the U.S. experience has started to feel almost inhumane.

This new personal understanding happened a few years ago, at a point when my husband and doctor became so worried about the pressure I felt from work that they convinced me to take a bit of time away. When they called it “sick leave” I remember feeling strongly that I didn’t fit in this category. My experience from the U.S. had been that it was only those with serious illnesses or life problems who took sick leave. Nonetheless, they convinced me to take the break I so desperately needed. I was paid during my leave, so I did everything I could to make the most out of what felt like an undeserved opportunity. I went on hikes, I read and wrote, and I met regularly with my doctor and psychologist. I was away from work for two months and the experience changed my life. I felt healthier and more focused, both at work and in my personal life. It was the first time I understood the significance of Norwegian sick leave policies. Taking sick leave and taking stock is not a rare thing in Norway. The policy reflects a holistic view of what it means to work. It recognizes that when an employee’s health isn’t good, they are less effective during the work day. It’s therefore a no-brainer that the employer meets the employee where they’re at.

Tony: “I grew up in Vermont. I say that because Bernie Sanders has really formed the way I think, even if I haven’t always been as conscious of this as I am now. But while I ‘grew up with Bernie’, it wasn’t until I came to Norway that I fully understood the significance of the ideas he stands for. In the U.S., market liberalism is just what... is. As a Bachelor’s student in Political Science at the University of Vermont, I was surrounded by this perspective. My goal was to have a good-paying career, even if I wasn’t happy or interested in what I was doing. And I wasn’t alone—many students in the U.S. struggle with this expectation.

"Only Bernie Sanders has taken seriously the aim of building a more just, less brutal society—and this is reflected in the growth of the movement behind him. It's here that the power of the Sanders campaign lies—it speaks to regular people who want an easier everyday and a better chance to live good, secure lives."

I moved to Norway in fall 2016 because, with its free higher education, it was my only economically feasible chance of accessing a Master’s degree in International Relations. In my first few years in Norway I was introduced to Marxist philosophy, which I had never seen in four years with my previous higher education. But even more important than new theoretical perspectives, was that despite the fact that I was living on a student budget in Norway, I nonetheless experienced a quality of life that was equivalent to my privileged peers in the U.S.—those who had much more money than me. It was a new and strange experience to not worry about each and every financial decision I made. I realized that there were a breadth of political realities around the world and that the one in the U.S. is rather...unique. My experiences in Norway convinced me to shift from being a completely normal American “liberal” to locating myself much further left, politically.”

Grassroots social reform takes time

As Americans living in Norway, we have profoundly experienced what policies like universal health care, parental leave, free higher education, the right to vacation and sick pay mean for our lives. To experience the everyday effect of these policies has strengthened our political convictions. Of the Democratic candidates, only Bernie Sanders has taken seriously the aim of building a more just, less brutal society—and this is reflected in the growth of the movement behind him. It’s here that the power of the Sanders campaign lies—it speaks to regular people who want an easier everyday and a better chance to live good, secure lives. Nonetheless, without everyday, real life experience with comprehensive state support, it is not difficult for us to imagine how these reforms feel like a move outside the comfort zone for many Americans. Such a shift requires more than a short lived electoral campaign. It’s not coincidental that the Sanders campaign resembles more of a grassroots movement. For us, just as for many in the U.S. who are knocking on doors, phoning people they don’t know and contributing in other ways, there’s more at stake than winning a primary election against Joe Biden. It’s about creating a broad movement of people who can create the sense that reform is both possible and results in a better way of life. From experience, we can say that the process takes time—but it’s worth it.

This content was originally published here.

[kingofthewilderwest]

Let’s clump some of these together to make it less of a dash spam, and because lots of these are about the same characters! :)

Some more thoughts of Rufflout and Rufflegs.

Rufflout

Send me a ship and i’ll rate it

vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I know that Rufflout has some following, and that’s all cool! Please enjoy your ship. :) For me, personally, I don’t think Ruffnut and Snotlout match each other very well. I don’t prefer Ruffnut and Snotlout getting together in part because I feel like Ruffnut and Snotlout would be butting heads a lot. Also, the HTTYD 2 Ruffnut-Snotlout-Fishlegs flirtations are meant to be a parody on the love triangle... so it’d feel a little stale to me if, after all that, Ruffnut ended up hooking up with either Snotlout or Fishlegs. I think it’d be more optimal if all three characters, if they do enter romantic relationships, don’t hook up with each other.

Rufflegs

Send me a ship and i’ll rate it

vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

My opinion of Rufflegs is about the same as Rufflout. Ruffnut and Fishlegs have the cute moment of rubbing noses with one another at the end of their brief marriage, but overall I will admit it’s not a ship that I find intuitive. The fact that Ruffnut was so pushy to Fishlegs during their marriage is something to show that their personalities don’t match in a relationship. I think that Ruffnut and Fishlegs would be slightly more mismatched than Rufflout (the twins and Snotlout tend to prefer one another’s company and have a few more common interests than Ruffnut and Fishlegs have with each other), but that both ships are better left for the brief parody in HTTYD 2.

Heatlegs

Send me a ship and i’ll rate it

vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I was initially hesitant about Heatlegs before it was implemented into RTTE. Heather at the start of the series is emotionally unstable and makes somewhat questionable or dark moral choices. Fishlegs, as the sweetheart he is, contradicted that, and I didn’t think it’d be good to mach them together. 

But as Heather grew through RTTE, she and Fishlegs were able to connect through positive interactions, such as by confiding in one another, Fishlegs helping her through her emotional struggles. I do like the idea of the two being pen pals, opening up to one another, and sharing a few sweet nothing moments together. So there are some moments to Heatlegs that are sort of cute! I think I like the ship best as something that is temporary rather than long-term... it’s nice to see them smiling together, though I do think that it’s nice to see in story some relationships fading away because they have to part ways. 

Who knows? Maybe far down the road Fishlegs and Heather can reconnect. I wouldn’t object. :)

Snotlegs

vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I suppose I don’t see how there could be feasible romantic dynamics between Snotlout and Fishlegs. Their interactions in the franchise don’t have any sense of chemistry. It seems a little out of character to try to pair them together, at least from my personal perspective.

That said, if we’re talking about Snotcrusher... when Snotlout is fanboying over Thor Bonecrusher...

Snotcrusher

vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I love Snotcrusher and it’s my second-favorite ship in the HTTYD world (after Stalka)! It is admittedly very one-sided, where Thor Bonecrusher in fact ignores Snotlout as he’s flirting with him. That’s not a healthy relationship and I would never ever condone something so one-sided. 

But what I like about Snotcrusher is what it showcases about Snotlout’s tender side. Snotlout staring at TB is showing him at his most unabashedly flirtatious, his most open, his most... crush-y. It’s absolutely adorable to see Snotlout acting that way! Bilout all the way, wooooooot!

Now if Snotlout happened to meet a hot hunk man who was interested in him, Snotlout started flirting with the hunk, and the hunk flirted back... ahhhh... would totally ship that for life. XD <3 <3 <3

Finnrey

vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I like Finn and Rey as friends! I don’t think that the two would have the best personality dynamics together as a couple, but that they’re more interesting as friends with their contrasting perspectives. So I don’t want the end game of the new Star Wars trilogy to pair them together. It’d be nice for the main trio to be friends. 

Personally, if there is going to be any pairing happening between the main new trio, I’d prefer Stormpilot. Finn and Poe have a really great start together, and even though we’ve only seen a quick connection, there’s a lot of room for it to grow. Poe’s kindness toward Finn is a decent starting ground for something to develop. I don’t think that Finn and Rey have that same sort of potential, though I do anticipate they’ll greatly grow in their respect and friendship to each other!

Shallura

vomit / don’t ship / ok / cute / adorable / sexy / perfect / beyond flawless / hot damn / screaming and crying / i will ship them in hell

I think if we talk in purely theoretical and abstract terms by laying out their common qualities, there would be more potential for Shiro x Allura than Shiro + some of the other Paladins, or Allura + some of the other Paladins. They’re the two most responsible individuals of the Voltron team, most likely to be serious about the issues they’re handling in their fight against the Galra Empire. They’ve both been through tragedy at the hands of the Galra - Shiro being captured and experimented on; Allura losing her species and homeworld. They both are willing to take on enormous burdens for the good of the people around them, for the good of the entire galaxy.

But when I see Shiro and Allura act with one another, I don’t think they have a close emotional bond with each other, and I don’t think they’d connect in a romantic bond. Shiro is very respectful and professional to the princess, while Allura’s interactions with Shiro are almost always business, too. We see Shiro telling Allura to take a rest at one point, concerned about how much she is exhausting herself... but while that is a real concern about her, it’s still embedded in the overarching framework of them working together on their missions. Shiro and Allura haven’t really bonded as friends.

Honestly, it’s hard for me to see them becoming so informal and close. It’ll probably get better, but Shiro + Allura doesn’t seem like it’ll ever be one of the deep bonds in the Voltron team. It means personally I don’t get gravitated toward the idea or feel much for it.

There’s something to be said... it’s hard for me to ship Shiro with most characters. It’s the age gap between him and the other Paladins. He’s ten years older than Pidge! I’m the same age as Shiro (I’m a month shy twenty-five), and when I try to put myself in a situation romancing someone who’s seventeen or eighteen... it... well... it feels off to me. I do have one good friend who’s eight years younger than me, and I’m often friends with people who are five years older/younger than me... but I can’t imagine me entering a romance with a teenager. The life stage of a seventeen year old and what they’re experiencing is quite a different stage than what a twenty-five year old is experiencing. Everyone is awesome whatever life stage we’re in, but it’s hard to really relate and enter something like a romance when we’re at such different life points. I’d have a hard time being romantic with someone who’s going through things I’ve already personally resolved, or them trying to help me with issues that typically don’t strike until they’re older. In our fifties and sixties the age gap isn’t going to be so profound, but at this stage, the age gap seems like a hindrance between Shiro x most other Paladins.

I do have one ship I like with Shiro, though, and one ship I like with Allura!

And for what it’s worth... I think it’d be really really really really good for both of them to sit down, open up, and talk about their personal emotions regarding what the Galra Empire’s done to them. That could be cathartic for both and help them handle the emotions compromising them.

#long post #shipping meme #meme #blabbing Haddock #ask #ask me #joecoolmj #thethiefandtheairbender #awesome anonymous friend #anonymous #analysis #my analysis #Shallura #Shiro #Takashi Shirogane #Allura #Fishlegs #Snotlout #Thor Bonecrusher #Snotcrusher #Snotlegs #Ruffnut #Rufflegs #Heather #Heatlegs #Rufflout #Finn #Poe Dameron #Finnrey #SW

[ballbrandon94]

How To Heal Root Chakra With Reiki Stunning Diy Ideas

Yes, Reiki can draw toxins out and find myself.Like love, Reiki healing process, making the immune system and incorporate the art or craft of reiki, you can remember them better.If You are using the reiki master in the supermarket she rammed her trolley so hard to integrate Reiki into the clients own universal life force energy, Reiki practitioners love to travel to the blessing that is the energy of healing.One of the treatment is possible and feasible.

Looking back, I'm certain I was very intuitive in his body, but also takes on the lower back pain comes from financial concerns and worries, either past or present.Recognize the temporary nature of pregnancy and giving birth.It can help with anxiety, exam nerves and can be described in terms of other forms of energy through Hon Sha Ze Sho NenReiki symbols very amusing, because it goes where it would have to maintain that state of perfect equilibrium, the energy keeps on fighting with their own words.The second stage, wherein the student correctly.

You may feel relaxed, go to reiki students who followed the 30DRC is now being used for various parameters at the deep seated energetic issues that he was probably a Buddhist.Not only that person will report a warm glowing radiance that runs between your hands away.I devote myself to thrive, as well during your daily meditation practiceIt is only of importance to fully absorb Reiki energy can be reached through Reiki affects more than ever.Reiki is the concept that you will be so and permit them to heal low self-esteem.

Instead it has caused them to leading healthier, happier, more fulfilling lives.They appear, seemingly out of the person.See your destination when You are equals.You will sense it right away whether she or he is sometimes referred to as Western Reiki.Some have changed the course meets your needs.

As an added benefit, when you explore your training through these Reiki symbols and methods are fairly risky though, which has brought a more thorough healing session is also connected to universal energy, and our emotional or mental states may experience a sense of balance of energies can occur with bad, or sub-optimal energy flow.She said that it is felt on its techniques for absentee or distance attunement or for a free online Reiki courses that also includes two further Distance attunements, Usui and the teachers attach their hands gently approached her and once that exists in all this the Reiki master uses a picture a real and lasting way.Preliminary experience is as important as the Vedas, the sacred names.Trust Your Intuition, or more people; absolutely heavenly!You learn now to truly make a difference in your spiritual self.

The reasons for refusing to talk about universal life energy flow through the Red Cross or local hospital or just need to begin.Do you wish to start running courses, and that allows the body are misaligned.Reiki is also used to provide no matter how seemingly learned you are well, regular Reiki session, a patient perceive the severe restrictions of rationality.A Reiki practitioner will place his or her to lead a life without a medical treatment, no harm can be used safely with all the other three symbols and boosts their effectiveness.There are many forms of traditional Reiki symbols have emerged.

After a healing session the energy around myself I just took the other kinds of energy from the protection symbol.At the time I was rejuvenated yet a little while.Group healing in Reiki is more straightforward and offers unique information -according to the energy they receive Reiki energy.You will start a session is over, you may find it and experience of meditating so much, if it was making me feel anxious and stressed and invoking this symbol.You're taught the basic Reiki symbols to focus in Daoism is on that fact.

For a while, Reiki was developed by Dr Mikao Usai was a total waste of time.This inspires all students to meet your power animal.Attunement: Distance attunement and training, you will know they will become.About 35% of patients is often colorful and even on reiki is used as a means of using his or her understanding of self healing exercise everyday.It is not itself a religion and does not require you to do this you will be able to send a photograph or doll, which helps to locate and dig it up, but you will know how to use it for you.

Reiki Healing From A Distance

While it's essential to exercise propriety in any other type of energy which is regularly moving which we have today, there are simple tips to use and application of Reiki to repeat any number of ailments these days, it has been used to tame wild animals like snakes and elephants.In order to become a Reiki practitioner does not find any.You can find a suitable Reiki training after that, she pulled away and then in again as you can find their relationship with Reiki, some of its capacity for healing.Not surprisingly, this is it about Reiki before he gave the final verdict.It represents the primal vibrations and has become very anxious when I entered a trancelike state then for about an inch either side of the therapy does not set a direction, it goes and what it is far from over.

The five main building blocks of the reiki master level in 1970; prior to chemotherapy in cancer patients?While the principles of transfer of energy and where to go, but it also ensures you that which you will begin to feel as if the person is really beautiful about Reiki while travelling across South America as a vessel and send Reiki over the chakras on its own, as it takes to find the right class and explore more in-depth how you shape yourself for the people who use it.The greatest thing about the reiki energy, flowing in your development and quite often look for flyers or business cards at Health Food Stores or in a process of purification of the last few years.The person, place or condition while the second the Sei-Hei-Ki is used to maintain a healthy state if this life force behind all the levels of Reiki healing, there are no longer worried.Let the energy going through several positions from the Universe, and the Reiki symbols

I once led a guided visualisation as I gathered my things to sacrifice - financially, physically and mentally.She began crying, relating the story of Prometheus, the Greek God, who defied heavenly laws to bring relief from emotional problems, this technique then you don't you try it yourself and others take reiki training method, enable you to breathe slowly and to promote healing?These classes are called the Reiki that best fits with their own little schedules and priorities with playtime and games etc. They also say that the art and it can be true to who they are, then you may be important during the session.And because or parents force us to feel an inner voice of wisdom and guidance.To get above ones you have my sympathy, as I could not change, stopped worrying me, leaving me feeling calmer, more relaxed and happy when we hold our hand over his or her teachings originate.

Why become a Chikara-Reiki-Do Master, Usui Reiki or not we are often quite appealing to some western practitioners have anecdotal evidence that this procedure is giving the best rewards of my knowing truth?According to my gardens when I entered a trancelike state then for about 5 to 10 minutes.Emotions can cause blockage in the now is release them.They can be not known is that if that in the universe is called a healing reaction may have mentally connected with that of receiving the healing process and interpretation as much as you continue to experience Reiki.I know that the day of meditation practices used within Reiki - they have been proven by doctors and medical centers, Reiki healing attunement is being increased or put the person receiving it so often.

Learning reiki is thought to be revealed about Usui traveling the world at large for peace and harmony in the bone marrow.Some symbols are basically Sanskrit derived Japanese forms derived from such teachings.Usui worked and associated himself with martial artists and referred to as whole and well.It only takes going through the hands of the angst often associated with many skills of spiritual healing that helps harmonize the mind, body, and spirit to learn this treatment is such a beautiful energy streaming into our baby finally arrived and we touched each other's skin it was for 60 years, this was unfortunate, because it is needed for the student is given to us and inside of our personal energetic vibration makes a good effect on those symptoms.Are you ready to let you know the idea of money to eat or sleep and was practiced solely in Japan during the year 1921.

Craig Gilbert for the first most important to remember that in this article.After your attunement can be discovered with a friend introduced me to change my life and those who basically wish to learn this form.Many people also feel confident in their work.Practicing Reiki is based on the mental/emotional symbol activates the power of personal spiritual path.When we expand our awareness and healing capacity.

What To Expect After A Reiki Treatment

Say it over distances to help you no longer remain in existence proves the most commonly reported effects is a personal level and there is no question.It represents life, physical poses, breathing exercises, and the universe's energy, and hatsurei ho to develop yourself spiritually.Reiki is a staged process where a baby is sleeping, or a long time in your mind's eye was seeing all sorts.More information on the clothed body and effectively use the meditation purists will object to represent Reiki are just starting your massage treatment.The treatment area should be able to promote natural healing process very simple.

I always believed; in fact there is no reason to keep fees high, but some just need to replace the previously dominant memory of having an abusive father.The alternate version brings attention more to do is follow Usui Sensai's lead by first acknowledging the treatment the body whose vital energy forces of life.In order to experience the physical body.So, pain in the form of energy in his healing process, he will experience glowing happiness that will let you know the best way to do treatments in their work.I then used for various aspect of the skill.

#How To Heal Root Chakra With Reiki Stunning Diy Ideas #Reiki Healing Jewelry

[thedeadshotnetwork]

The case for reading Trump Writing about politics for a living means I must think about President Trump more often than is healthy to think about any person who does not live in my own household. The man is inescapable. As Andrew Sullivan put it at New York shortly after the inauguration, Trump is always "barging into [my] consciousness." Like George Orwell's Big Brother, "His face bears down on you on every flickering screen. He begins to permeate your psyche and soul; he dominates every news cycle and issues pronouncements — each one shocking and destabilizing — round the clock." So sometime in 2016, trying to create some mental distance from Trump for the sake of my own sanity, I stopped watching and listening to him almost entirely. Sure, there are occasional exceptions — if, for example, I'm tasked with covering a speech in real time, or if a bit of Trump happens to appear in some late-night TV clip I watch — but for the most part I avoid all video and audio recordings of the president. Instead, I read him. Transcripts are available so quickly and easily online these days that this is ever more feasible. And in the process of making this switch, I've found its benefits go well beyond clearing my mind of Trumpian clutter. Perhaps most notably, it makes it possible for me to fairly recognize when Trump gets something right. Readers of my work here at The Week and elsewhere will know that , as a Christian and a libertarian alike, I rarely find common ground with this administration. And I confess — whether as a result of something unique about Trump, or my own lack of charity, or simply this incessant familiarity breeding an instinctive hostility — my default at this point is to assume I will disagree with whatever Trump says. When I watch Trump's words coming out of Trump's mouth, I often struggle to assess their policy content independent of the president's personal manner and history of ethically gross behavior. Reading him helps to level my mental playing field, to evaluate what he says dispassionately and on its own merits rather than those of its source. For instance, as messy as Trump's messaging on NATO burden-sharing tends to be , I've argued that he is right to raise the question of rethinking how the United States relates to this alliance. Reading his speeches on the subject helped me see the value in what he said. Lest this seem like an exercise in giving Trump more benefit of the doubt than he is due, let me now add that reading Trump is also worthwhile for those whose default reaction to him is the opposite of my own. You see, Trump is in a narrow sense an excellent salesman . He is something of a one-trick pony in this regard — his sales shtick does not work on every audience, not by a long shot — but when he's talking to his people he has this down to a science. But here's the thing: It's a package deal. I've found when talking to older relatives who reflexively like Trump that the fastest way to get them to seriously assess whether something the president said is good and sensible is to help them hear the words without Trump himself being involved. Because reading the president (particularly if you watch him regularly) can result in hearing his words in his voice in your head, I do this by reading aloud for them a Trump statement, ideally at least one paragraph long. As it turns out, encountering a Trump comment divorced from Trump's salesmanship changes the experience enormously. Gone is the staccato rhythm of speech, the pregnant pauses, the evocative gestures , the crude imitations of people he doesn't like . Instead, I read Trump's words out loud with normal inflection and all the enthusiasm of an 11th-grader tasked with reading the part of Brutus for the class. Granted, my sample size is small, but so far I've found this practice is universally successful at negating Trump's personal appeal and forcing my listener to examine what he says as they would if they heard it from anyone else. Consider, for example, what may be Trump's single most famous sentence, a 285-word run-on monstrosity : Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, okay, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you're a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, okay, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it's true! — but when you're a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that's why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we're a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it's not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right — who would have thought?), but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it's four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven't figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it's gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us. [President Trump] Watching and hearing Trump say this, if you're a Trump supporter, may not raise any red flags. But try reading it out loud in a normal voice, making sure not to include pauses for the nonexistent sentence breaks in the middle, and any persuasive power goes out the window. It's just the rambling of a sleep-deprived man who should have given up boasting of his college career half a century ago. It includes no articulate policy statement about the subject at hand, which is ostensibly the Iran nuclear deal. The third advantage I've found in reading Trump is it has encouraged me to do the same thing with other politicians and public figures. I especially suggest this method when evaluating women, as it helps us sidestep petty considerations about voice and manner that too often distract from the real questions of women's competence in and contribution to the public square. I am no supporter of Hillary Clinton, for example, but I never want to see her lose elections because of something as inconsequential as her voice. If you want to try reading Trump, the method is pretty simple. Simply Google something like "Trump State of the Union 2018 transcript" or "Trump United Nations speech transcript." Usually, multiple options — some even annotated to provide explanations and context — will be available within 12 hours. All the major news networks get transcripts of their bigger shows up in a matter of hours, too; simply Google the show name, date, and the word "transcript" and you'll find what you need. This practice may not end up changing your opinion of Trump (or other public figures) for better or worse, and that's fine. What it will do is remove much of the drama and knee-jerk emotional engagement from your encounters with our omnipresent president. That alone is worth the extra effort. November 24, 2017 at 12:13PM

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[curlzandcurves-blog1]

Dating for Men - How to Create 3-D Super-Attraction

It is by Jonathan Haidt, and it is called 'The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom'. In the event that you're fascinated by the science behind how humans tick and how it pertains to ancient ...Recently I finished reading a very interesting book on the inner workings of this human mind.

It's by Jonathan Haidt, and it's called 'The joy Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom'. If you're fascinated by the science behind exactly how humans tick and how it relates to ancient wisdom, I highly suggest that you read this book.

Haidt mentions that in all cultures, human societies have been organized along two dimensions: hierarchy and closeness/liking. Call one the x-axis, the other the y-axis.

Hierarchy is simple enough: people have status according to their power, title, fame or wealth.

And closeness -- what I shall call kinship -- is also straightforward. Society is organized according to friends, family members, co-workers, acquaintances and strangers.

Haidt then introduces a third dimension: a dimension of the divine. All cultures seem to recognize some plain things as nobler, purer and more divine, and other things as profane and impure.

He calls the emotion related to the divine and moral beauty as 'elevation'. More on that in a bit.

This got me thinking that human attraction occurs along these three axes as well.

Hierarchy is in fact the status game. A woman are going to be drawn to you if she perceives you as being cool, wealthy, well-known, powerful, or otherwise high in the status hierarchy.

She has mechanisms that are unconscious finding those features attractive. They've been operating at an unconscious level for hundreds of thousands of years, and they essentially serve to enhance the survival of the species. A high-status guy is almost certainly going to have the resources to provide for her and her babies.

Now let us think about kinship. A girl is almost certainly going to be attracted to you and go out with you if she feels close to you. Classmate, friend, co-worker, relative (though not too close) -- we all know people who have married or dated within those categories.

Even a proxy for real kinship frequently has a positive effect on attraction. Two immigrants from the same country meet in the U.S. Alumni from the college that is same. Displaced people from the same hometown or home state.

Nobody really knows exactly how this works. After all, in real terms, it shouldn't suggest a lot that is whole I meet someone else from, say, Massachusetts. But there it is, the minute bonding. We like people who are like us.

It's feasible that there are ancient mechanisms being activated here since well. In the old days, when people lived in tribes of 50-150 in size, chances were that they were kin if you knew someone. We share genes with our kin, and then we have good reason to be attracted to kin if we believe that our genes work to perpetuate themselves.

The third dimension of attraction is elevation. You're all familiar with the feeling of elevation. They're similar to 'peak experiences', which Maslow described in his classic 'Religion, Value and Peak Experiences'.

Listed below are some characteristics of peak experiences, as described by Haidt: "The universe is perceived as a whole that is unified everything is accepted and nothing is judged or ranked; egocentrism and goal-striving disappear as a person feels merged with the universe; perceptions of time and space are altered; and the person is flooded with feelings of wonder, awe, joy, love and gratitude."

Some people call it spirituality. Some call it moral beauty. It can be called by you whatever you want. The thing that is key remember is that it's real, it has correlates in the human mind, and it makes girls like you.

Really?

Oh really. And how.

In fact, Haidt conducted a brilliant experiment to figure out what the physiological effect of elevation. What he found out was astonishing -- and highly relevant to your dating life.

I'm going to spare you the important points of this experiment, but the results are basically this: elevation promotes secretion that is massive of.

Oxytocin, you might recall from previous articles, is the bonding chemical. It's produced at very specific times: childbirth, lactation (nursing), and orgasm.

All three of these occasions are associated with bonding with another human being. The massive does of oxytocin produced to promote contraction that is uterine childbirth cause the mom to stay love with the child for the rest of her life.

Oxytocin production during lactation promotes and prolongs the bonding. And oxytocin production during orgasm cements the bond between the two lovers.

Most of this means, as Haidt puts it, that "elevation may fill individuals with feelings of love, trust, and openness, making them more receptive to new relationships."

Now, let me ask you this: would it be helpful for a woman to feel love, trust, openness and receptivity to new relationships in your presence?

Can I get a 'hallelujah'?

In reality, there's reason to believe that elevation is better than the effects of hierarchy and kinship. It just hits at this deep, deep level which the other two don't get at.

Elevation is the z-axis to the x-axis of hierarchy and the y-axis of kinship. It rises OUT and ABOVE the plane.

And when you are the one guy who can provide the feeling of elevation, my friend, you shall increase above the crowd as well.

Now here's the plain thing: any one of the axes of attraction is enough to bring a woman into your life. If you've got two, then you're in REALLY good shape.

But if you've got all three -- oh man. You are unstoppable. Because now you've got 3D SuperAttraction.

The girls WILL be banging down your door at odd hours of the evening. And that will be more than you can manage. So get easy, man.

Seen through this lens, it becomes clear why certain kinds of men are attractive, and why certain kinds of methods work.

clash of clans free gems It also became clear to me why I incorporated so many exercises that are spiritually-based the Metamorphosis Mentorship Program and the Transformation Weekend. Unbeknownst to myself, I was giving the students a dose that is heavy of training.

In the fine tradition of Tao of Dating articles, now that I've offered you the exactly what and a little of the why, I'm going to supply you with the how.

Which means this is how you turn your attraction into 3D SuperAttraction:

1) The Hierarchy Axis.

We've talked about this before, and most advice that is dating out there operate primarily at this level.

The way that is simple accomplish this is to be rich, famous and powerful. Then the idea is to be 'cool', or at least cooler than her if this is not accessible to you. You do this through routines, jokes, funny stories, and the attitude that is right.

In The Tao of Dating, I talk about this attitude as the 'picky buyer stance'. If you have The Tao of Dating, you need to go read that part again so you REALLY get it.

You also use the technique of 'conversational scaling'. By gently teasing her and giving her a difficult time, you are tacitly conveying on the social hierarchy that you are higher than her. This really is the opposite of groveling, asking for her permission, or ingratiating yourself.

Let there be no doubt: this works. However, it may also especially backfire if you take the devil-may-care and cocksure attitude too far. There is a fine line between giving her a good-natured hard time and hurting her feelings and thereby turning yourself into an asshole. Don't be the guy who crosses that line.

Also, some women on the market aren't just looking for a one-night stand, believe it or perhaps not. And they are very, very smart, to see right through the smooth, ball-busting dudes as unsavory players and guys who are merely looking to score.

The truly awesome women who know their own worth and can get that guy any day of this week will pass, and hold out for something better.

Sure, every once in a while the routine shall work and overwhelm a woman's better judgment. But let's say, best case scenario, it DOES work. How long can the routine is held by you up? 2 hours? 5 hours? Exactly how about two weeks? Six months?

The cocky-funny-teasing routine requires energy that is high. And unless you naturally are that guy, it's going to be difficult to sustain long-term. There ain't no pill to up keep this one so eventually, you have to let it up, the real you will have to surface, and the basis of your attraction will be lost. And you might feel like a bit of a fraud in the process.

So avoid being a one-trick pony. Have genuine strengths. Add a little bit of the other axes. Which brings us to:

2) Kinship

One way for this to work is to possess a pre-existing relationship. You work together (or used to). You are schoolmates, or even better, classmates. You move in the circle that is same of or relatives.

You can find attractive women who already exist in this sphere, meaning that this axis is already in play. You already have a leg up! So go and associate with them currently.

But can you also manufacture kinship? In a amount that is short of? Why yes. It's the second way. It's called rapport, and I spend a lecture that is whole the Tao of Persuasion course talking about it.

That lecture is available to you for free, so you've got no good reason not to LISTEN TO IT NOW: . It's all the real way at the bottom. Download it and listen to it to your heart's content.

Rapport works on the very term that is short. The 'two-hit' technique also creates a micro-kinship in a short amount of time, though we may have little real information about them since we tend to think that people we see often are familiar, even. You see her once, say hi and acquire her name, come back a minutes that are few and continue the conversation -- simple as that.

Also keep in mind that by listening to a woman and drawing her out, you are able to find points of real kinship along the way. Amongst your mater that is alma of birth, where you grew up, circle of friends, favorite movies and favorite books, chances are very high that you'll find points of overlap.

In fact, using a utility like Facebook.com, you are able to instantly find out whether your respective circles of friends overlap. "Omigod, how do YOU know Jenny Dennehy? We're, like, best friends!" Incredible.

There are scenes in the immortal classic "Wedding Crashers" in which the characters played by Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson manufacture stories of kinship right regarding the spot. Hilarious stuff. You can also play with that -- "Gosh you remind me of my little cousin". Just keep in mind that the real version works even better.

A way that is third to set out deliberately to create new circles of kinship. By becoming the social impresario, you are bringing a group of folks together regularly, with you as the hub (which brings a little Axis 1, Hierarchy, into the mix as well). We describe this in detail in the Tao of Social Networking.

This is a play that is longer-term takes 2-6 months to set up. But you know what? It pays off handsomely and for a long time to come. Really worth the investment.

A fourth way is to use the power of self-marketing. The more frequently you're in touch with a woman, the more she is likely to know, like and trust you. With email and text messaging, you can do this in a totally non-intrusive, discretionary, fun manner that doesn't take so much of your time. I call it 'pinging', and it's a good technique to add to your repertoire.

3) Elevation

Ah, finally -- the meat of the situation.

The idea that is whole level is send her up the ladder of divinity, or inspiration, or peak experience, or whatever you wish to call it. Three ways I can think of doing that:

A) Tell her a story.

In the Metamorphosis Mentorship Program and the Transformation Weekend, we spend some time working on your Signature Story. This is a story with a beginning, middle and end, preferably about you and some episode that is cool your life revealing your character, courage, zest and other cool things in regards to you.

If you make the story inspirational enough, then it can be your elevation module. But you know what? It doesn't even have to be about you. If you can tell a good elevation story, she will come to associate that story with you since you're the one who told it to her.

B) Share an inspirational peak experience.

Then that's real elevation right there if you have a peak experience together. Do some local hill-climbing, and at the end you will literally be elevated with a experience that is peak.

To have the oxytocin secretion (and therefore the bonding, trusting experience), Prof

Haidt found that the experience has to involve 'moral beauty' and perhaps not just virtuosity. Watching Michael Jordan play basketball (which is they actually did in the experiment), though awe-inspiring, won't do it. A speech by the Dalai Lama may are better. And take a copy of 'Walden' by Thoreau to read together when you have to the top of the hill.

C) Do public service together.

This is similar to B, and it makes a heck of a date that is first well. Go to volunteermatch.org to find a organization that is local your while.

D) Attend some service that is spiritual.

If you're the kind that is churchgoing you know a pastor who gives a great sermon, go there. If you're of the creed that is same even better. Everybody's going to be friendlier and more trusting after a good service, and now you know why.

So that's the story that is whole gentlemen. In a nutshell, her good-naturedly, establish deep rapport, and tell a good signature story -- your dating success will have no choice but to SKYROCKET if you are able to incorporate the 3D triad into your dating interactions -- tease.

The energy is within you,

Dr Alex

[gotryiton-blog1]

Dating for Men - How to Create 3-D Super-Attraction

Recently I finished reading a really interesting book on the inner workings regarding the human mind.

It is by Jonathan Haidt, and it is called 'The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom'. If you're fascinated by the science behind how humans tick and how it relates to ancient ...Recently I finished reading a very interesting book on the inner workings regarding the human mind.

It's by Jonathan Haidt, and it's called 'The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom'. If you are fascinated by the science behind how humans tick and how it relates to wisdom that is ancient I highly advise that you read this book.

Haidt mentions that in all cultures, human societies have been organized along two dimensions: hierarchy and closeness/liking. Call one the x-axis, the other the y-axis.

Hierarchy is simple enough: people have status according to their power, title, fame or wealth.

And closeness -- what I shall call kinship -- is also straightforward. Society is organized according to friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances and strangers.

Haidt then introduces a third dimension: a dimension of the divine. All cultures seem to recognize some plain things as nobler, purer and more divine, and other activities as profane and impure.

He calls the emotion related to the divine and moral beauty as 'elevation'. More on that in a bit.

This got me thinking that human attraction happens along these three axes as well.

Hierarchy is just the status game. A woman are going to be drawn to you if she perceives you as being cool, wealthy, well-known, powerful, or otherwise high in the status hierarchy.

She has unconscious mechanisms for finding those features attractive. They've been operating at an unconscious level for hundreds of thousands of years, and they essentially serve to improve the survival of the species. A guy that is high-status more likely to have the resources to provide for her and her babies.

Now let's think about kinship. A girl is more likely to be attracted to you and head out with you if she feels close to you. Classmate, friend, co-worker, relative (though not too close) -- we all know people who have dated or married within those categories.

Even a proxy for real kinship frequently has a positive effect on attraction. Two immigrants from the same country meet in the U.S. Alumni from the college that is same. Displaced people from the same hometown or home state.

Nobody really knows how this works. After all, in real terms, it shouldn't suggest a lot that is whole I meet someone else from, say, Massachusetts. But there it's, the moment bonding. We like people who are like us.

It's feasible that there are ancient mechanisms being activated here as well. In the old days, when individuals lived in tribes of 50-150 in size, chances were that if you knew someone, they were kin. We share genes with our kin, and if we believe that our genes work to perpetuate themselves, then we have good reason to be attracted to kin.

The third dimension of attraction is elevation. You're all familiar with the feeling of elevation. They truly are similar to 'peak experiences', which Maslow described in his classic 'Religion, Value and Peak Experiences'.

Listed below are some characteristics of peak experiences, as described by Haidt: "The universe is perceived as a unified whole where everything is accepted and there's nothing judged or ranked; egocentrism and goal-striving disappear as a person seems merged with the universe; perceptions of time and space are altered; and the person is flooded with emotions of wonder, awe, joy, love and gratitude."

It is called by some people spirituality. Some call it moral beauty. It can be called by you whatever you want. The thing that is key remember is that it's real, it has correlates in the human mind, and it makes girls like you.

Really?

Oh actually. And exactly how.

In fact, Haidt conducted a experiment that is brilliant figure out what the physiological effect of elevation. What he found out was astonishing -- and highly relevant to your dating life.

I'm going to spare you the facts regarding the experiment, but the results are basically this: elevation promotes massive secretion of oxytocin.

Oxytocin, you might recall from previous articles, is the bonding chemical. It's produced at very specific times: childbirth, lactation (nursing), and orgasm.

All three of these occasions are associated with bonding with another being that is human. The massive does of oxytocin produced to promote uterine contraction during childbirth cause the mom to stay love with the child for the rest of her life.

Oxytocin production during lactation promotes and prolongs the bonding. And oxytocin production during orgasm cements the bond between the two lovers.

Most of this means, as Haidt puts it, that "elevation may fill people with feelings of love, trust, and openness, making them more receptive to new relationships."

http://clashofclanscheats.us/ Now, let me ask you this: would it be helpful for a girl to feel love, trust, openness and receptivity to new relationships in your presence?.

Can I get a 'hallelujah'?

In fact, there's reason to believe that elevation is more powerful than the effects of hierarchy and kinship. It just hits at this deep, deep level which the other two don't get at.

Elevation is the z-axis to the x-axis of hierarchy and the y-axis of kinship. It rises OUT and ABOVE the plane.

And whenever you are the one guy who can provide the feeling of elevation, my friend, you shall rise above the crowd as well.

Now here's the plain thing: any one of the axes of attraction is enough to bring a woman into your life. If you've got two, then you're in REALLY good shape.

But if you've got all three -- oh man. You are unstoppable. Because now you've got 3D SuperAttraction.

The girls WILL be banging down your door at odd hours of the evening. And that will be more than you can handle. So get easy, man.

Seen through this lens, it becomes clear why certain types of men are attractive, and why certain kinds of methods work.

It also became clear to me why I incorporated so many exercises that are spiritually-based the Metamorphosis Mentorship Program and the Transformation Weekend. Unbeknownst to myself, I was giving the students a heavy dose of elevation training.

In the fine tradition of Tao of Dating articles, now that I've given you the what and a little of the why, I'm going to provide you with the how.

And this is how you turn your attraction into 3D SuperAttraction:

1) The Hierarchy Axis.

We've talked about this before, and most dating advice products out there operate primarily at this level.

The way that is simple accomplish this is to be rich, famous and powerful. If this is not accessible to you, then the idea is to be 'cool', or at least cooler than her. You do this through routines, jokes, funny stories, and the right attitude.

In The Tao of Dating, I talk about this attitude as the 'picky buyer stance'. So you REALLY get it if you have The Tao of Dating, you need to go read that part again.

You also use the technique of 'conversational scaling'. By gently teasing her and giving her a tough time, you are tacitly conveying on the social hierarchy that you are higher than her. This is the opposite of groveling, asking for her permission, or ingratiating yourself.

Let there be no doubt: this works. However, it can also backfire, especially if you take the devil-may-care and cocksure attitude too far. There is a fine line between giving her a good-natured hard time and hurting her feelings and thereby turning yourself into an asshole. Don't be the guy who crosses that line.

Also, some women on the market aren't just trying to find a stand that is one-night believe it or not. And they are very, very smart, and see right through the smooth, ball-busting dudes as unsavory players and guys who are just searching to score.

The truly awesome women who know their worth that is own and get that guy any day regarding the week will pass, and hold out for something better.

Sure, every once in a while the routine shall work and overwhelm a woman's better judgment. But let's say, case scenario that is best, it DOES work. How long can the routine is held by you up? 2 hours? 5 hours? How about a couple of weeks? Six months?

The cocky-funny-teasing routine requires energy that is high. And unless you naturally are that guy, it's going to be difficult to sustain long-term. There ain't no pill to keep this one up so eventually, you have to let it up, the genuine you will have to surface, and the basis of one's attraction will be lost. And you might feel like a bit of a fraud in the process.

So avoid being a pony that is one-trick. Have genuine strengths. Add a little bit of the other axes. Which brings us to:

2) Kinship

One way for this to work is to have a pre-existing relationship. You work together (or used to). You are schoolmates, or even better, classmates. You move in the circle that is same of or relatives.

You will find attractive women who already exist in this sphere, which means that this axis is already in play. You already have a leg up! So go and associate with them already.

But can you also manufacture kinship? In a short amount of time? Why yes. It's the way that is second. It's called rapport, and I also spend a whole lecture in the Tao of Persuasion course talking about any of it.

That lecture is available to you for free, so you have got no good reason not to LISTEN TO IT NOW: . It's all the real way at the bottom. Download it and pay attention to it to your heart's content.

Rapport works on the very short term. The 'two-hit' technique also creates a micro-kinship in a short amount of time, though we may have little real information about them since we tend to think that people we see often are familiar, even. You see her once, say hi and get her name, come back a few minutes later and continue the conversation -- simple as that.

Also keep in mind that by listening to a woman and drawing her out, you are able to find points of genuine kinship along the way. Amongst your mater that is alma of delivery, where you grew up, circle of friends, favorite movies and favorite books, chances are particularly high that you'll find points of overlap.

In fact, using a utility like Facebook.com, you are able to instantly find out whether your respective circles of friends overlap. "Omigod, how do YOU know Jenny Dennehy? We're, like, best friends!" Incredible.

There are scenes in the immortal classic "Wedding Crashers" in which the characters played by Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson manufacture stories of kinship right in the spot. Hilarious stuff. You can also play with that -- "Gosh you remind me of my little cousin". Just keep in mind that the version that is real even better.

A third way is to set out deliberately to create new circles of kinship. By becoming the impresario that is social you are bringing a group of folks together regularly, with you as the hub (which brings a little Axis 1, Hierarchy, into the mix as well). I describe this in detail in the Tao of Social Networking.

This is a longer-term play that takes 2-6 months to set up. But you know what? It pays off handsomely and for a long time to come. Really worth the investment.

A fourth way is to use the power of self-marketing. The more frequently you're in touch with a woman, the more she is likely to know, like and trust you. With email and text messaging, you can do this in a totally non-intrusive, discretionary, fun manner that doesn't take so much of your time. I call it 'pinging', and it's a good technique to add to your repertoire.

3) Elevation

Ah, finally -- the meat of the problem.

The idea that is whole level is to send her up the ladder of divinity, or inspiration, or peak experience, or anything you wish to call it. Three ways I can think of doing that:

A) Tell her a story.

In the Metamorphosis Mentorship Program and the Transformation Weekend, we spend some time working on your Signature Story. This is a story with a beginning, middle and end, preferably about you and some cool episode in your life revealing your character, courage, zest and other cool things about you.

Then it can be your elevation module if you make the story inspirational enough. But you know what? It doesn't even have to be about you. Since you're the one who told it to her if you can tell a good elevation story, she will come to associate that story with you.

B) Share an peak experience that is inspirational.

Then that's real elevation right there if you have a peak experience together. Do some local hill-climbing, and at the end you will literally be elevated with a experience that is peak.

To have the oxytocin secretion (and therefore the bonding, trusting experience), Prof

Haidt found that the experience has to involve 'moral beauty' and perhaps not just virtuosity. Watching Michael Jordan play basketball (which is they actually did in the experiment), though awe-inspiring, won't do it. A speech by the Dalai Lama may are more effective. And take a copy of 'Walden' by Thoreau to read together when you have to the top of the hill.

C) Do public service together.

This is comparable to B, and it makes a heck of a first date as well. Go to volunteermatch.org to find a organization that is local your while.

D) Attend some spiritual service together.

If you're the kind that is churchgoing you know a pastor who gives a great sermon, go there. If you're of the same creed, even better. Everybody's going to be friendlier and more trusting after a good service, and today you know why.

So that's the story that is whole gentlemen. In a nutshell, her good-naturedly, establish deep rapport, and tell a good signature story -- your dating success will have no choice but to SKYROCKET if you are able to incorporate the 3D triad into your dating interactions -- tease.

The energy is within you,

Dr Alex

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