#it’s particularly a big thing with adhd I know and personally I do this a lot

[queencvbra]

Random but it feels important to say but I just watched this tiktok and this guy said that someone empathizing with another person by telling them a story about how they experienced the same thing is a red flag and, I quote, “love how you’re making things about yourself”, and I just really need y’all to understand that there is a difference between someone deflecting from what you’re going through and trying to put attention on themselves and a neurodivergent person trying to prove to you that yes they can personally relate to you and empathize with what you’re going through because of a similar experience. That’s not trying to “make things about themselves”, that’s genuinely trying to make you feel seen and like you have someone who is there and understands at least to some degree besties.

#[ooc] #it’s particularly a big thing with adhd I know and personally I do this a lot #I also purposefully write Tory as doing this a lot because it is such a prevalent adhd trait #neurodivergent people have different ways of relating to other people than neurotypicals do and it’s not a bad thing or a red flag #you just have to understand that it’s not coming from a place of self importance it’s meant as an attempt to validate your own experience #sometimes it’s easier for neurodivergent people to relate via tangible experiences #especially when we don’t feel like our own abstract thoughts and how we relate to our own emotions make sense to anyone else #yes there are people that do try to make everything about themselves but again there is a big difference #and you can usually tell because those people will keep continuously derailing and trying to stop you talking about yourself #when usually when it's someone trying to relate to you their own addition is meant to be just that: an addition #the intention at least in my experience is to give you space to talk and also make you feel seen and validate you #instead of just going 'sucks for you' 80% of the time bc that feels ???? can't explain it. it feels unproductive at least to my brain. #and yeah sometimes things can come across as awkward or it can be easy to take it the wrong way because again #it's not the 'normal' social convention #so just understand that if you're interacting with someone that's neurodivergent and they do this #9/10 times it's with the best intentions only and it's someone with a different brain chemistry trying to be a good listener/friend #because talking about real experiences is often more feasible than relating our emotions to *your* emotions without some connecting thread #okay now back to your regularly schedule chaotic karate content that tiktok just set me off a little bit lmao

[inkskinned]

they don't see it, because it is around them like air. to them, it would have to be through movies, through magazines. they think it happens outside of life, like it must be selected to be interacted with.

but you discovered in the fifth grade that you couldn't wear shirts with words on them, it was an excuse for someone to look at your chest. you were catcalled before you were in middle school. sometimes you look at that memory and deny it - surely that can't be right, you were young. but you were in a skirt, so maybe that was a natural byproduct. it was a skirt from that place "justice by limited too" - a store literally for kids. it was popular around then. you wore that skirt twice and then never again.

you can't wear headphones, because what if a man wants to talk to you? there's a guy on the internet who complains that women shut themselves off from being approached. at night, you often keep the headphones positioned but with the sound off, just in case you need to hear something behind you.

you learned at 12 that you can't make eye contact, don't acknowledge the aggression. just walk faster and hope he picks on somebody else. don't wear your hair like that. do not park next to that kind of car, park an entire cityblock away if you must.

you can't go to the museum, you're sitting and tying your shoe when he approaches you and mentions that nobody understands art anymore. that in the whole world, it's just you-two. you have no recourse for eating a meal (it's rabbit food if it's salad, and someone will roll their eyes, eat a sandwich. it's pick-me behavior if it's a burger, we get it you're a cool girl). if you like mushrooms you are cottagecore, which is cheesy. if you like video games you're an egirl (similar to a pick-me). boys do not get categories, but if you point out the categories are sexist, you are told okay but these girls really exist.

it is somehow developing, a little undercurrent that you've been uncomfortable with. the nickname "karen" went from being "a white woman that uses her whiteness as a weapon, particularly against people of color," to now mean "any woman raising her voice or being even a little upset." the reappropriation of a term used specifically to call out white women for their racism has set your skin on edge. now it is just another version of "bitch," one that can be said on television. recently you saw a woman get called a karen because a drunk driver sideswiped her, and she screamed when it happened. the comments on the dashcam video all say "why do women always scream about everything." "when has the world ever been bettered by women screaming." "this fucking karen. she deserved to get hit."

in the sitcom, it's a joke that the wife is furious; slamming her hands down into the sink. i do everything around here, might as well do this too. in your house, your father is always in-his-office. before you know better, your first boyfriend is the type to say it's just easier for you. you used to beg him to take you on dates. he used to make a big deal about it, about the sacrifice of effort, even if you were the one who did most of the planning.

someone on the internet makes a "POV: the most boring person you've ever met" where he puts a towel on his head and just talks like a normal person. his impression of a boring woman is just a woman that is talking about her pretty-average life without exaggeration.

you are sometimes actually sad in the reverse, because actually you did used to struggle to pay attention in conversations. you were also easily bored of normal things, your adhd pinging off of every radio tower in the vacinity. it took time and therapy and patience, and now you delight in the small things about your friends. you like having them show you their organizational systems and talk about their taylor swift tickets. you are entertained by them because you learned to be, even though your brain is structured to only be excited by novelty. you kind of hate the idea that the reason your father will never actually pay attention to you is that you're no longer interesting. eventually the shine wore off, and you were just a person, not a spaceship. he never learned how to just, like, form an actual intimate friendship. it was always at a distance, this sense - emotional closeness was too much. (and yes. he's homophobic).

you're already tired of whatever the fuck is happening with the words "divine feminine", a rancid take that is basically just a rebranding of the patriarchy in action. what the fuck do they mean "being small and delicate and needing protection" is feminine. the words they are looking for are that they want a partner, not that their desire for equivalent support is relegated to gender. the human desire for community is not actually gendered at all. also, what fucking wolves are these "divine masculine" men even battling. fuckken taxes? shouldn't their "desire to protect" also mean "protect you from emotional neglect", or are all emotions off-limits (and how sad would that be. that's a horrible bar to set.)

and they tell you it's really not bad actually, because it's just there. they suggest you get off the internet or you stop reading that book or you stop thinking so hard about the movie or you stop just-being-a-feminist because honestly it's a killjoy sort of thing and then you tilt your head to the side and there's that little siren in the back of your head. if things were actually fine, being a feminist wouldn't put a stop to anything, it would go completely unnoticed, because you wouldn't have any comment to make about any of this

but you are ruining your own life, they tell you. also, girls don't sit like that. also, all girls are catty. also, all girls are bad drivers. also, all girls just need a cute bracelet and an iced coffee.

you do like iced coffee, is the thing. when you close your eyes, the world around you has this strange note to it. and once you hear it, it never stops ringing.

#writeblr #this is far too long #sjw bullshit #idk i MEANT to write about somethng else completely and if i have time i will #about like . how if ur gay this is even more obvious #bc they like. hi ur 3 now where is ur boyfriend #and ur like. :) good news mother i have activated the lasers in my plush dog and he is dancing in the guts of my barbie

[aroaceleovaldez]

Do you have any fun Piper headcanons?

BOY DO I

She wears velcro shoes. they're the gaudiest, tackiest looking ones she could find that fit her from the kid's section. I personally usually like to give her Hello Kitty ones. She wears them cause they're fun and colorful and also ADHD causes problems with fine motor control which can make it hard to tie shoelaces, and the bright colors are great for sensory stuff, so colorful kid's velcro sneakers it is. This is so important to me.

Hair ties! I like to give her two braids down the side of her face tied off with big chunky bright hair ties. My hc with that is that she braids her hair as a stim, and those are just the easiest chunks of hair to braid and unbraid idly (source: that was one of my stims back when i had long hair), plus probably chews on them as another stim (she needs a chew necklace real bad she'll get one eventually). The hair ties being bright colors is once again sensory stimulation from bright colored clothing/accessories go brrr, they bonus as an extra fidget, and also she adores tacky/gaudy stuff and anti-fashion so they go right in with her aesthetic (or lack-there-of).

Okay so yknow how everybody started drawing Piper with beaded earrings. I disagree with the style of earrings everybody gives her - most people go with giving her BIG dangly beaded earrings. I don't think she's a big earrings person, or particularly a dangly earrings person, or at least not a "stylish" big earrings person. I DO however think she'd 100% adore beaded fandom earrings, like these hello kitty ones, or these Kiki's Delivery Service ones.

In general i think she owns so much youtuber merch. It is a solid staple of her wardrobe. The sillier and stupider, the better. She DEFINITELY has the GMM "Everybody knows i love lesbians" merch. She is the target demographic of that ridiculous redbubble merch stuff that's like, a throw blanket that's a collage of insert-youtuber-here's face. Also just general fandom merch. Again, the more ridiculous the better. She hates fashion you KNOW she's mix-and-matching cosplay pieces at least half out of spite just for fun.

She also 100% buys jackbox Tee-KO tshirts and has a whole collection of them.

Because I like giving Piper at least some sense of "I know people who exist outside of the main cast of protagonists" (that is severely lacking in HoO) i like to hc that Shel is an old childhood friend of hers that was like neighbors with her grandpa or something similar, so whenever Piper would visit they would hang out. When Piper moves to Oklahoma they start hanging out again and start dating.

She has very eclectic music tastes. When she was younger it was mostly she hated everything "popular" out of principle but as she got older it's just anything, though a general lean for stuff a la 2000s top hits, cause she is not immune to nostalgia. or late 2000s emo.

Contrary to popular fanon I don't hc that Piper and Leo were "true" friends pre-Hera memory shake-up. I imagine they had one of those school alliances you sometimes make where you see each other every day and you prefer working with them during class versus whoever else but you know like all of 4 things about them including their name and you've never hung out outside of class before. Immediately after their TLH quest they shift to more of a "we are in a new environment (hell of a situation with ADHD/autism) full of strangers (hell. hell on earth) but we know who each other are and are already familiar with one another so. CAMARADERIE." and by the end of the Argo II quest it's a "okay we're ACTUALLY proper friends now." They're not each other's best friends (Piper's is Annabeth and Leo's is Hazel) but they have a VERY strong unique bond of "we've been through this with each other from the beginning, since before all this demigod stuff."

Piper is very "queer label fuckery" to me. She'd LOVE defying boxes and just messing around with all of that. She's digging deep to find niche labels and using atypical combos and it's a really great identity sandbox for her. Also messing around with gendered language in a similar manner.

I don't care what canon says she and Drew eventually warm up to each other and become good siblings to me. Piper unlearns her internalized misogyny and Drew unlearns some of her toxic femininity and they learn to appreciate each other's perspectives - Drew eventually comes to find Piper's perspectives on fashion and the entertainment industry fascinating and Piper respects how outspoken and self-advocating Drew is. They get really into DIY fashion projects together - Piper's goal is to get Drew hooked on alt fashion and it's working.

#pjo #riordanverse #piper mclean #ask #Anonymous #headcanon #headcanons #long post // #i have more piper hcs but these are most of the fun/silly ones

[hyperlexichypatia]

In the 15 or so years that I’ve been actively involved in neurodivergent/Mad/disabled liberation, my perspective on “overdiagnosis” or “broadening the category of mental illness” has shifted a few times. 

At first, I uncritically agreed with what might be called the “mainstream, mad-lite” perspective that “broadening the category of mental illness” was a real thing worth objecting to – that doctors and schools were pathologizing emotions, traits, and behaviors that should rightfully fall under the range of “normal.” How terrible to pathologize grief, we said, when feeling pain and sadness at the loss of a loved one is perfectly normal! 

But by 2015, when the New York Times ran an article on pathologizing women’s emotions, I was sharply critical. I wrote this: 

This is the kind of thing I would've celebrated a few years ago as a baby neurodiversity activist. But now, please count me as completely over faux-revolutionary assertions that one, specific, particular group of people should not be pathologized. The argument essentially boils down to "Neurotypical women shouldn't be pathologized for being upset, because they have legitimate reason for being upset, unlike all those other hysterical, overreacting people who are upset for no good reason, who really need to be pathologized." I regard this the same way I do the endless spate of "ADHD isn't a real disease; it's just a label for people who are creative and misunderstood!" articles. No, ADHD isn't a disease, and no, ADHD-type people shouldn't be pathologized, but the emphasis on "isn't a REAL disease" implies "unlike those other neurological differences, which ARE real diseases." These articles and ideas are not inclusive or neurodiversity-positive. "The line between pathologized and non-pathologized people should be drawn in a different place" is not a radical argument. It serves to throw other pathologized people -- the so-called "actually disordered" or "seriously mentally ill" or "low-functioning" people from whom these arguments are so anxious to distance their subjects -- further under the bus. Furthermore, because the medical model conflates pathologization with entitlement to services, these arguments often actually throw even the people they argue to depathologize under the bus as well. Extreme emotional states shouldn't be pathologized in women (or in anyone), but many people who experience extreme emotional states choose to use medications or other medical services to manage them -- a choice that should be their right. Depathologization should not be used to deprive them of access to that choice. "You're not defective, so we know what's best for you" isn't actually that big an improvement over "You are defective, so we know what's best for you."

Now, 9 years later in 2024, I still stand by what I said in 2015. Arguing about where to draw the line between pathological and nonpathological, or how wide to make the circle of accepted normalcy, is a pointless and ultimately harmful argument. I have no interest in arguing “This group of people, specifically, shouldn’t be pathologized, because they’re not like that group of people, who should be pathologized.” No one should be pathologized – not the otherwise-neurotypical woman grieving a loss, and not the visibly neurodivergent person responding to stimuli no one else can perceive. We should settle for no less than acceptance for all; pathologization for none. 

But I also didn’t quite predict how far pathologization would reach in the following decade. 

I was thinking about this because, in a context completely unrelated to disability rights, I was thinking that liberalism as a mainstream ideology barely exists in the U.S. anymore. I expressed some of that concern here. “Freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and bodily autonomy are generally, in and of themselves, good” is not a particularly mainstream idea. 

“But,” you might be thinking, “Aren’t you always saying that liberals who profess to believe those things don’t really believe them, and never have, because they don’t apply them to disabled people, poor people, young people, and other marginalized people?” And yes, I am always saying that. Universal liberalism – truly universal – has never been mainstream in the U.S., or anywhere in the world. As I said here, if you ask people “Should people have the right to…?” you will get a lot of “Yes, of course” answers, but if you ask “What about a child? What about an intellectually disabled person? What about an unmedicated-by-choice schizophrenic person?” the answer will switch to “I don’t mean them” or “That’s an exception.” There are Normal People who deserve basic human rights, and Pathologized People, who don’t. 

The trend I’m seeing now, though, is that the “normal” non-pathologized subject doesn’t exist. Everyone is some degree of pathologized. Neurotypical privilege is still very much in effect, and there is still a vast difference between those who are perceived as relatively neurotypical and those who don’t. “Everyone is a little bit [whatever]” or “No one is really normal” are ways of erasing and minimizing the very real neurotypical privilege, and corresponding neurodivergent oppression, that some people experience and some people don’t. Nevertheless, I’m seeing a real shift from “‘People’ by default means ‘normal’ neurotypical people, who deserve acceptance and freedom, but there are those ‘other’ people who don’t” to “No one is ever really ‘mentally healthy,’ so no one ever really deserves acceptance and freedom.” 

I talked a bit here about the premise that “Everyone needs therapy,” but I’m trying to think of the last time I actually saw that premise questioned. I’m thinking back trying to remember the last time I heard someone expressing the opinion “No, I don’t think you need therapy; I think that’s a normal thing, not a pathological thing.” 

I’m not saying a dividing line between pathologized and non-pathologized people was better! Not at all. And it was never absolute; non-pathologized people were always at risk of slipping into the pathologized category if they ever let their social conformity slip. As long as anyone is pathologized, everyone is at risk of being pathologized. 

But I’m saying that looking around, it feels like I wished for society to stop differentiating pathologized people from non-pathologized people, and the monkey’s paw gave me my wish. The argument “[Pathologized trait] isn’t that different from [non-pathologized trait]” isn’t effective, because there are no non-pathologized traits. Who, exactly, is considered “mentally healthy” or “emotionally mature” enough to be allowed to make decisions? Is anyone? If not, who is supposed to be in charge of us? Anybody with an audience who can successfully convince us that we’re “unhealthy” and need to be fixed, like the salesmen who convinced us that we all have a specific “attachment style”? I don’t know. I don’t know what the long-term effects of this cultural norm will be. Not good, to say the least. I know that it reminds me of certain strict, punitive strains of Christianity, with “trauma” taking the place of “original sin.” All have fallen short of the glory of Healing. But those people over there, they have fallen especially short. They need to be locked up. I know that the emphasis on relationships and interactions being “healthy” rather than respectful, consensual, and happy has pathologized a lot of respectful, consensual, happy relationships while allowing wildly disrespectful people to escape criticism because they’re “healthy.” I have no idea where universal-pathologization-culture is going, but I hope it’s not too late to turn it around. 

#mad pride #neurodiversity #liberation #disability rights #pathologization #mad liberation

[trumpkinhotboy]

Chronic protective brother syndrome

Pairing: big brother!nick nelson x little sister!reader

Type: Request (thank you so much!!)

Warnings: Mention of fainting, having a chronic illness, but nothing too intense

Word count: 1900

Requests: Open! For Heartstopper, twilight wolfpack, chronicles of narnia and harry potter

A/n: honestly… i dont have much to say except that i love writing for requests and that big brother nick makes me weak in the knees. Hope you enjoy angels xxx

*gif is not mine

Summary: The reader has been living with diabetes her whole life. She's grown quite accustomed to it and manages it well with the help of her supportive family. Although sometimes, support can feel a little suffocating...

Through your 14 years of existence, you have grown quite accustomed to life with type 1 diabetes. As you grew up and became more conscious of what it meant to live with a chronic disease, you learned to accept and care for yourself quite well. 

Your mother, Sarah, was a real trooper and never let you down, always carrying you when you felt exhausted and done with your condition, which did happen more often than you care to admit. Luckily, you also had someone else in your corner: your older brother. 

Nick is known to be quite protective. Especially with the people he cares for. However, that aspect of his personality gained a new high when you were born, and your mother explained why you could never do everything just as he did. Of course, you would still be able to do most of them. You would simply need to be a little more careful. 

Sarah remembers very clearly the look in little Nick’s eyes when she explained why you were always sick. You were resting in bed after a substantial flare-up when his eyes welled up with tears. That's when he finally understood that there was something in your own body that would always try to fight and hurt itself. That’s also when he promised himself he would do everything to protect you. Your mum still tells that story with a few tears welling up in her eyes. 

Nick knew you could have a lot of complications from your disease. To avoid them, he always made sure you had everything you needed at all times. You usually didn't mind, seeing how your ADHD sometimes made it a little harder for you to remember to pack your stuff. Plus, the fatigue diabetes often fogged you with did not help in that department. 

The thing is you were now 14 years old, finally starting to make new friends and explore the jungle that is social life in high school. So when your 16-year-old brother comes over, and all your lady friends swoon over him, or worse, when he comes over to baby you, it gets a little irritating. Luckily, Nick was quite stubborn about that stuff and was not about to let you get hurt just because of the image you wanted to project.

That was until you made quite a scene in front of everyone.

You had been feeling particularly irritated and moody that day. So when you saw your brother walk over to you with a backup diabetes kit, which was his creation, you felt anger boil in your blood.

It did not help to hear some nasty year 10 make jokes from a picnic table near your friends and you. "Oh, would you look at that? Diabetes Nelson still needs her big brother to bring her her little drugs. I don't understand how someone like him could be related to her."

It was stupid. It wasn't even a good insult. Plus, the people who kept making comments were not something to be impressed with. Still, you couldn't help the shame from creeping on your cheeks.

So this time, when your big brother came to check on you and offered you your safety pouch, you refused.

"I already have the normal one. I don't need this one."

"I know, but I don't think you've put the new insulin shots in. I brought you the safety one just in case."

The snickers you heard from the people behind had you gritting your teeth. You couldn't understand their exact words, but you knew it wasn't positive. 

"Don't you have anything better to do than watch over me all day?" you hissed. "I'm not stupid Nick."

Your diabetes also made you prone to mood swings, mostly when your blood sugar levels were too high or low. That's why Nick usually did not make a big deal out of these outbursts, but this time felt different. Hurt flashed in his eyes, and briefly, you regretted the words.

"I never said that. I just want to make sure you have everything you need. You know the risks." His tone was soft, his gaze focused on you. He tried as much as he could not to make a big deal out of this, but your reaction had the exact opposite effect. He knew how the fear of being judged could make a person act in such a terrible way. 

"I don't need you to remind me how weak and useless my body is, okay? I'm the one living with diabetes, Nick. Not you." You whispered angrily.

You grabbed your bag and left him planted there without looking back. Nick and you were usually like two peas in a pod, and to leave him there hurt much more than you would care to admit. 

You got back in class, trying to act normal, but after an hour in, you felt queasy and feeble. You had indulged in some sweets some friends offered after your altercation with Nick, brushing off the risk with your ongoing anger. Subtly, you pricked your finger and couldn't help your eyes from growing two sizes when you saw the little numbers your tracker presented. You were in hyperglycemia and urgently needed to get a shot of insulin. Swiftly, you asked to be excused from the class and headed for the bathroom. The walls seemed to shake around you, and your vision kept warping up. Cursing yourself for being this dumb, you opened your bag with shaking hands, searching for your shots.

"Shit."

There was only one thing worse than fighting with Nick, and it was when you realized he had been right. You mumbled under your breath, trying to stay calm and figure out a quick solution because this was becoming urgent, and you needed the care right now. Calling Nick would do no good since he was at Truham anyway. You decided to head back to class to ask for your teacher's help, but once you tried climbing the stairs, a thousand little dots started dancing around. You were able to mutter an 'I feel kinda dizzy' before everything turned black.

You awoke to a commotion. Distorted sounds and everything around you moved too fast to register. Someone was holding your hand while you felt a pinch in your arm. 

"It's okay, it's okay Y/n. You're going to be okay. I'm here."

You knew that voice. You lifted your gaze with an effort and only saw a flash of red hair before darkness swallowed you once more.

This time, when you woke up, everything was silent and peaceful. You were lying in a bed, a hospital bed, with an IV drip set up in your arm. Nick was resting in the chair next to you, his worried eyes set on his phone as he quickly typed.

"Hey," you croaked. 

His head whipped up in surprise when he heard your voice. He immediately dropped his phone to come by your side. His hand flew to your forehead. The coolness of it felt incredibly refreshing as you leaned into the touch.

"Hey, kid," he whispered. He tried putting a smile on his face, but it couldn't hide the worry he was truly feeling.

"So, I'm guessing I fainted? And someone found me? And they panicked ?"

"Panicked is an understatement."

He explained that Imogen found you at the bottom of the stairs. She didn't know whether you had fallen from them or just fainted at the bottom, so she immediately called for help and texted him.

"I ran to Higgs faster than Charlie ever could," he added with a smirk, his joke stealing a chuckle from your chest.

"I'm sorry for causing such a commotion. I should wear a bracelet that says fainting is normal for me so people won't worry."

His gaze hardened at your comment. "Fainting is not normal for you. It's a bad sign, and you know it."

You sheepishly dropped your gaze. Okay, he wasn't ready to make jokes about it yet. Charlie would have laughed, you secretly thought.

"I don't understand why you pulled that crap. I just wanted to help you." 

You lay back in bed with a sigh and covered your eyes with your forearm. You did know Nick only wanted to help, but still. His kind gestures irritated you so much sometimes.

"It's already hard enough to be the sick kid. That was my only thing when I was in middle school. I thought now I could step away from it, that I could be someone else. Be known for other things than my messed up immune system." 

You noticed Nick's expression softened once you uncovered your eyes. 

"And I know you want to help and trust me, I appreciate it. It's just that sometimes it feels like you don't believe in me. Like you don't think I'm capable of doing stuff. Instead of helping me become stronger, you keep worrying me with your horror scenarios."

It was now Nick's turn to look all sheepish and guilty. You might have been right in saying he tended to get a little paranoid when you wanted to try new things. He only thought about protecting you. He never realized the effect it would have on your self-esteem. 

"I'm tired of being afraid. I've looked it up, and there are so many people with diabetes who are doing amazing things. I can stay healthy and still be a badass kid who tries new stuff."

He looked up, his eyes holding so much uncertainty and fear. Though through it all, love was the strongest thing in his gaze. He grabbed your hand once again with a tight smile.

"I hear you, I'm sorry. I never thought it would make you feel like this, or else I wouldn't have done it."

"Nick." You gave him a knowing look.

"Okay, okay. I might have still done it, but only because you're my baby sister, and I want you to be healthy and have a long, long life, okay?"

You nodded while tightening your grip on his hand. 

"I promise I will be less overbearing, and I will support you in whatever new thing you want to try."

"Thanks, Nick, and for school, could you maybe not come and do your big brother number in front of all my friends? I appreciate the gesture, but I'm over dealing with the dumbasses." 

He sighed heavily but still agreed to your request. "About that, just a piece of advice. I've learned that sometimes the thing we are afraid will show our weakness or vulnerability only does when we allow it to. Once you reclaim your power and own it, it all switches around. Anyone who has something to say about it will suddenly disappear, or you won't care what they have to say anymore."

You nodded sheepishly. You honestly didn't care about your diabetes. I mean, it could be a gigantic pain, and you would have to be careful for the rest of your life. But all in all, you were pretty lucky. You had your condition mostly under control when you weren't a sassy dumbass, and you had the best support system someone could wish for. 

"Look at me. You're going to be okay kiddo." Your brother squeezed your hand tighter in a reassuring motion. 

You lifted your head to meet his supportive gaze and smiled in return. Yes, you would be okay.

#ilya writes #nick nelson #nick nelson x little sister!reader #nick nelson x sibling!reader #heartstopper #heartstopper fic #nick nelson fic #nick and charlie #alice oseman #kit connor #anon request

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week's writer's spotlight feature is: @rindecision! With forty-two works on Ao3 in the Stranger Things fandom, they've written thirty-one (!) works with the Steddie ship tag!

Nominated by @skjachukson, they recommend the following works by rindecision:

You Know Where to Find Me — Live Aid

Nectar

Give Me Fuel, Give me Fire

From Hell and Back

Rindecision has been a great friend throughout the Steddie holiday exchange, and their writing is just so fantastic. - @skjachukson

Below the cut, @rindecision answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

It started when my partner asked me to. I’ve always loved writing, but I never got into fanfics until they asked me to write a specific type of story that led to the creation of The Devil of Hawkins. From there it was a slippery slope!

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Due to ADHD and the corresponding comprehension issues, I rarely read. Not just fics, but anything really. Although, I do personally enjoy whatever the sneaking around trope is. The characters being intimate in places or situations where they shouldn’t be.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

So far I’ve found that I enjoy FWB to Lovers with Steddie. Most of my fics tend to revolve around that.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I’m currently enjoying ‘I Think I Could Have Been Someone’ by @madaboutmunson

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’m new to fandoms so honestly I don’t really know a lot of tropes by name, but I have a long list of fics I want to write at some point. I have a ‘Through The Ages’ Steddie series in mind that I hope to do at some point. 

What is your writing process like?

Harrowing. It’s honestly pretty complex as I’m using writing fanfics as a means to improve as a writer in general so I can be more confident when I get around to my originals. But the short version is: Rough Draft -> Proof Read 1 -> Beta Proof -> Proof Read 2 -> Grammar Edit -> Text-To-Speech Edit -> Final Beta Proof.

Do you have any writing quirks?

Probably, lol. I try to keep my writing concise and leave little up to the imagination. The partner that requested I write fanfics has aphantasia (lack of imagination) and they read everything I write, so I want them to be able to enjoy it just as much as anyone else. 

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I’m kind of chaotic on this one. It depends on the fic to be honest. So far, I’ve found I prefer posting ongoing fics without a schedule that I just post a chapter on as soon as I’m done editing it, whenever that happens to be. Other than the ‘You Know Where to Find Me’ series, the only fics I’ve posted on a schedule have been event fics and it’s been a bit more stressful than I expected it to be.

Which fic are you most proud of?

That would have to be my ‘You Know Where to Find Me’ series. Particularly the first one: ‘Valentines ‘85’ 

How did you get the idea for You Know Where to Find Me — Live Aid?

I needed something powerful between ‘Independence Day’ and ‘First Day of School’ but couldn’t think of anything that would work. @stardust-walker helped me work out the details. That entry genuinely wouldn’t exist without their help. 

When writing Nectar, what was something you didn’t expect?

Managing to stay under the 20k word limit. 😅 

What inspired Give Me Fuel, Give me Fire?

A Twitter post about mechanic Steve in cut-off shorts.

What was your favorite part to write from From Hell and Back?

That’s a hard one. I don’t think I have a singular part that I liked the most, but I really enjoyed being able to explore the logistics and lore around Eddie being a shapeshifting demon. In and out of Steve’s bedroom.

How do/did you feel writing Give Me Fuel, Give me Fire?

I was surprised by the reception it got, and I can’t wait to get back to writing it as soon as I’m done with the Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang

What was the most difficult part of writing You Know Where to Find Me — Live Aid?

The time limit. I had 2 weeks to write and edit nearly 30k words. It made me hit burnout HARD, but I got it back pretty quickly.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I think that would have to be the first kiss in The Devil of Hawkins. It was also the first Steddie kiss I ever wrote. 🤍

“You aren’t stopping me, Harrington.” Eddie’s lips barely grazed over Steve’s as he spoke. “I know,” Steve squeaked. The feeling of Steve’s lips plucking his like a guitar pick was more than he could handle. He leaned forward, finalizing the kiss. They both let out a small groan. Eddie placed his other hand on the back of Steve’s neck, holding his head carefully, yet firmly. Eddie pulled away for a moment and looked at Steve; there was a look of longing on his face. An expression that Eddie was hoping for. He faintly smiled before pushing Steve’s lips to his own, plunging his tongue between them. He could feel Steve tense below him before relaxing into it.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

‘You Know Where to Find Me’ will be coming to a close in March, but there will be at least 5 more entries to it. I will also be posting my entry for the STRBB in March. I hope after those are done I can jump back into my ongoings.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

I just want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone that’s read my work, and a platonic hug and kiss for those who have gone out of their way to leave comments or reblog them. It means the world to me 🤍🖤

Thank you to our author, @rindecision and our nominator, @skjachukson! See more of @rindecision's work featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer's Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

#steddie fic recs #steddie #steddie writers #writer's spotlight #rindecision #steddieunderdogfics #steve x eddie #steddie fics #steve harrington #eddie munson

[prof-peach]

You've mentioned that you are dyslexic and I was hoping you might be willing to answer some questions? No pressure if it's too personal though.

I'm trying to revamp my blog* and make sure it is accessible to as many people as possible. I have already figured out contrast for colorblind individuals, but moving on to the font has been a nightmare. I know comic sans was designed for people with dyslexia, but my old literary magazine teacher is in my head telling me I can't use it. Are there any other fonts that make reading easier for you personally? Or just other things I could do to the text (size, color, boldness, ect.) that would make it more accessible for you?

*not the blog I'm sending this ask from

Sure, though don’t know how much help I’ll be!

Colour choices are very helpful, dark mode literally saves my life on a number of websites, a lighter text on a darker background often helps me focus up. I find a larger font is better too, more because when I’m reading my eyes will jump around irrationally between words to do so.

Most people will apparently go from A, to B, to C, ect ect. In order?? Sounds wild to me haha

I tend to go from A to E, to C, back to A, to B if I’m lucky. Takes me a while to get through big chunks of text. A lot of how I adapt involves a physical item on my end. A card, a pencil, a piece of paper, something to separate the line of text I’m on to stay on that one point.

I am not educated in terms of what others go through, this is just my issues, and I won’t lie, there’s defo a little tism and adhd in the mix, it’s a hot pot of distractions haha!

So bigger text makes lingering on one word easier, least from where I’m standing.

Breaking things up into more manageable chunks is handy, formatting helps, big paragraphs (which even I am guilty of writing) are hard to get through in one sitting. I gotta highlight where I got to, get up and come back to it sometimes. Or if I’m in a rush read it like 4 times for the information to go in and stick around. Even then I’ll forget stuff.

As for comic sans. I personally loathe it with a burning passion. It’s a combination of art eye that hates how it looks, growing up with teachers using it “for legibility” but not realising it’s like…a child font. It bugs me so much. What’s worse is I live with a really talented graphic designer, who makes all his fonts himself more often than not, and so his hatred for it only fuels mine haha!

‘Helvetica Neue’ is designed for ease of reading, used in public transport particularly in new york subway systems, it’s whole thing was to be glanced at and quickly be legible. So try that one? Might be easier on the eye.

Sorry I don’t have better advice, I can only say what I do to work around it, but it might help a little? I’m sure people can message you or chime in on how they adapt and cope with dyslexia.

#ooc #blog help

[the-final-sif]

I still REALLY WANT dsmp s2 ;-;

I'll be honest, as much as I enjoy the thought of DSMP S2, I'm actually a lot happier that Dream is putting it down for now, with the idea that it might happen at some point in the distant future.

Like, there's a lot of things at play here.

First and foremost, just on a motivation and mental health perspective, it was pretty clear that DSMP was a really big drain for Dream. After Techno passed away, Dream was essentially carrying all of the major plotlines in some fashion or another. It was obviously really hard for him to do and keep up with, and I'm glad he's putting that down for now.

Second, it's really hard to not take into account how Techno's passing influenced how all of them see the SMP. Lots of different lore SMPs have gone through player changes, but the DSMP is the only one I know where a streamer actually died during it. That can make it really hard to go back to on an emotional level. And I absolutely get why that would play a part in demotivating/making a S2 difficult.

Third, the DSMP was kind of stopping Dream from being able to do other things. It was eating up a lot of his time, and if he tried to work on another major project, join another SMP run by someone else, etc, he was gonna get hounded about why he wasn't working on x plotline on the SMP. Putting it down lets him go do other things without that pressure. And honestly I'm really excited to see the other things he wants to do.

Fourth, I'm going to be entirely honest, I think the DSMP was due for a culling even if there was a S2. There are a number of people on there who got invited at various points that didn't really fit in with the server anymore. Dream moving onto other projects, possibly starting or joining other SMPs, etc. All of that means he can pick and chose who he invites to stuff, bring in new friends and not invite people who he isn't close to and who don't seem to want to spend time with him. I think that's much healthier, and it's something I'm excited for. I want Dream to be able to go back to just playing with his friends.

Fifth, kind of as a cumulative...

The amount of pressure and weight that the DSMP put on Dream in particular, what with how much of the story revolved around him, how other streamers would constantly need him for storylines but wouldn't go start ones without him, how people blamed him for everything that they didn't like, etc, etc. Particularly when Dream didn't even stream or make videos for the SMP. He was doing a shit ton of work for other people, and getting a ton of shit thrown his way for anything people didn't like. And for what?

It was honestly kind of an unfair set up. Particularly with how much people loved to blame Dream for things, or act like he was the only one who had any say in anything. When things go weird/not how fans wanted in the Last Life SMPs, you don't see everyone blaming Grian for it as if he's the only person who has any say. But somehow with the DSMP, Dream took a ton of shit for things that were clearly outside of his control or relying on other people.

All of this accumulated in Dream being very trapped in what he did. Something that's really bad for people with ADHD who tend to do best when we can have several different projects to move between. And who don't tend to do well when there's a lot of pressure for them to work on one specific thing that they may not want to work on.

Dream and the others putting down DSMP S2 for now means that Dream gets to work on stuff he'll actually enjoy. It means he'll get to focus on spending time and energy on people he actually enjoys spending time with. People who are his friends, and not people he hasn't talked to in over a year. He'll get to create brand new things, new SMPs, new characters. And hopefully he'll get to join in other people's projects too! Where less of the workload is on him!

I'm excited for that. I'm excited for Dream to get to do stuff he's always wanted to do, and get to move on to new projects.

I know some people are gonna be really sad about that, but honestly, I'm not. I'm excited to see where Dream ends up going, and what sort of stuff he creates. You might even find that it fills a similar space in your heart to what DSMP S2 might've. Who knows?

#sif answers #Anonymous #dreamwastaken #dream smp season 2 #dsmp #dream smp #dream smp s2

[froot-batty]

Can you explain how Eddie, Jon, and Jerv's autism manifests itself? As an Autistic comics fan, I love the idea of the Dork squad all being autistic!!

I sure can!! This one's gonna be long, so I'm gonna post it under a cut

Ed

Ed's whole deal can get a little complicated to explain, since he has BPD, ADHD, and OCD along with autism, so a lot of his experiences or behaviors are going to be influenced by all of those

Ed is a very repetition/pattern/organization focused kind of guy. Whether this be repeating routines, having to keep a system that's very specific, or needing things to play out in predetermined ways. If something doesn't happen how he expects it to, he will either repeat it over and over again or have a meltdown, depending on what it is

(He also has a lot of repetitive thoughts about all sorts of things. Some are more unpleasant than others)

They also fixate on things or people HARD. There will be week long stints where they will get fixated on something and be unable to do really anything else until their brain is satisfied. It can be very detrimental to their health (or to the health of the other person)

He also tends to dislike social situations, especially ones that are unfamiliar or crowded. Being unable to predict what will happen in a social situation or location is very nerve-wracking for him, and it's part of the reason why he can be so blunt and rude. Part of that is just how he's built, but it also usually puts people off or at least gives him the ability to analyze who someone is better. He doesn't like meeting new people, and he's found the best way to avoid talking to them is by being annoying (but he's just kind of annoying in general also)

Lastly, Eddie is very touch-averse (for multiple reasons) and moderately sensitive to sensory input. Bright lights and noises don't bother them too much, but the wrong smell or texture makes them want to vibrate out of their skin. They hate being touched, especially if they don't know you very well. Another reason why they wear gloves and a lot of clothing. It isn't as bad if they're very close with you though, so have them willingly touch you, or allow you to touch them for more than a minute or so, is a big sign of trust on their part

Jon

Jon is, as always, repression city, so he masks whenever he can get away with it. He's the type of guy to pretend like he's not bothered by something and then go home and stare at the wall for hours on end. He has a loooot of shutdowns because of this, unhealthy fucker

Jon is very unemotional and (like the other two, but more so) unempathetic. He could be having the best time of his life or the worst and he'd still have a blank "I wish I was dead" expression on his face. The exception is when he's experiencing high emotions, like shock, delight, terror, etc. He also speaks mostly in monotone, with occasional injections of emotion (mostly annoyance or amusement, and even then only barely)

Jon is very sensitive to light and sound. His glasses (or goggles, if he's wearing his mask) are actually tinted like sunglasses to help him deal with some of it. He has tried and failed to tough out being in noisy places, but since he physically can't do it, he's resorted to using earplugs to help deafen some of that sound. It still bugs him, but at least it lets him leave the house

In public, Jon stims in ways that could seem "normal" to other people, in his attempt to mask. Humming/whistling/singing, bouncing his leg, tapping a pencil, etc. He'll also clench his fists when he's not holding something (or tap on that thing if he is). When he's alone he tends to pick at his skin/scars, grind his teeth, pace, whisper to himself, things like that. Honestly a lot of his "not in public" stims unintentionally make him seem kind of scary (which he thinks is funny)

Jon also will have brief periods where he loses speech, particularly when he's overstimulated, but not always. Granted, since he doesn't talk much in the first place, it's not always noticed

Jervis

Jervis is veeerryy talkative when she's able to be! Though she tries to be mindful of it, she isn't the best at social cues (especially conversationally), and can (and will) have entire conversations where the other person isn't needed. Especially if it's about one of her interests, or if she has the chance to explain something to you. You best be ready to settle in for a while if she's decided to talk to you

The only problem is sometimes it's difficult for her to express herself in a way that makes sense, especially to neurotypical people. This is a combination of autism and brain damage. She is really very smart, and the things make sense when they're in her head, but they come out confusing and more like a ramble instead of a weave of interconnected ideas

He also has a bit of trouble recognizing people. He goes by shape, general colors associated with the clothes they wear, and voices, but if those are mixed around or unclear then he can get confused

He's also a very tactile kind of guy. We already know he loves hugging/cuddling/touching people, but a lot of his other stims relate to touch as well. Braiding or running his hands through his own or other people's hair, touching objects that have a texture he likes, scratching things, the feel of certain kinds of clothes, chewing on things, stuff like that

Along with that, she also has a lot of olfactory and visual stims. She has a couple of those stuffed toys that have the scents in them, which both appeal on the smell factor and the touch factor. Some might think it's weird or creepy, but she also likes to smell different people, especially those she's close with! It's just very comforting (even if being sniffed isn't always comfortable for the other person). Visually, she really likes staring at pleasing patterns, or anything moving repetitively, like fans. But she can get real dizzy doing that

Jerv is a biiigggg fan of weight, either being pinned down under someone or under stuff like a weighted blanket. Very very comforting

I think that's just about it!! I hope this satisfies, it was a lot of fun actually writing out how different their autism manifests and throwing in some of my own experiences/behaviors too. My silly beasts

#frootverse #jonathan crane #the scarecrow #edward nygma #the riddler #jervis tetch #the mad hatter #doodles

[katboykirby]

Autistic Beel is very real to me personally, as an autistic person (special interest, not very expressionate, etc). I also very much agree with the Satan and Levi headcanons too.

Oh this is interesting because I don't think I've heard about an autistic! Beel HC before? Usually (in my experience anyway) it's autistic! Levi and very very occasionally autistic! Satan

Now, full disclosure that I'm not autistic myself, so any information I'm familiar with comes from research + the experiences of my irl partner, who got his autism diagnosis as an adult. (I do have ADHD and I know that there's some relation/overlap there, but I'd still trust the words and experiences of actual autistic people over my own)

And I can definitely see some aspects of autism in Beel! Like you said, he doesn't tend to show much of any particularly strong emotions, at least not openly or on the surface - he tends to keep a fairly flat expression (and his usual frown could be interpreted as the classic neurodivergent "resting bitch face" aha) and his voice clips reflect this as well - he's definitely not as affective as say, Mammon or Asmo! Beel is a lot more quiet than his brothers, on average. He's not really very emotive or expressive outside of specific or extreme situations. Although, I don't tend to go for the romantic options with him or read his personal Devilgram stories all that often (since I'm a Satanfucker) but I'm aware that he's usually more emotive in romantic moments with MC, or when things get tense/dramatic with his family.

Speaking of which, something that we do occasionally see is Beel losing his temper and becoming very angry - to the point that he loses control of himself and goes on rampages. The most significant examples of this in the main story would be Lessons 4 and 5 of the original game, when he flies into a rage over some custard and ends up destroying half of MC's room; and the whole plotline in Nightbringer revolving around Beel's rampage at the royal castle that almost resulted in Diavolo having to lock him up because of how much destruction he caused. I know that "autism rage" is pretty negatively stereotyped (unfairly so, in my opinion) but anger is definitely a real struggle for individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders

The whole food thing is definitely interesting in this context as well (and I assume this is what you meant by "special interest?" Lmk if I'm wrong) because Beel is the complete opposite of the common autism stereotypes when it comes to food! We often see the idea of autistic individuals having a very limited scope of foods that they actually enjoy, because things like texture, flavour, and sensation are all very different and experienced in a different way than neurotypicals. Autistic individuals are stereotyped as "picky eaters" because it's common for them to have very specific "safe foods" and/or not enjoy very many exotic or strong flavours. Beel definitely does not have a problem with this, lmao. And we know that his love/obsession with all foods isn't something that came about just when he was made the Avatar of Gluttony, since he was a big food lover as an angel as well (though his eating habits, admittedly, weren't as extreme back then.) Interestingly, a lot of research shows that people with autism are more likely to struggle with binge eating disorder, which has some intriguing implications for Beelzebub 👀

It's entirely possible that exercise & working out and/or sports like Fangol could be special interests for him as well! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that Beel has mentioned or alluded to feeling restless if he doesn't get at least one workout in every day, like he doesn't feel that his day is "complete" if he hasn't done his exercise routines. This could suggest that he experiences the common autism symptoms around adherence to routines and inflexibility when it comes to changing up his usual habits and activities 🤔

This reply has actually become pretty long, so I'll just stop myself here before I get carried away even further 😅

Overall, I think that there's definitely merit to autistic! Beel HCs, and I'm sure that people who are actually autistic and/or are big fans of Beel himself (and who would have read far more of his in-game content than I have, like his Devilgrams) would be able to go into even more detail than I have!

#I love Beel so much #even though he isn't a romance interest to me personally I have a HUGE amount of platonic/familial love for him #he's a great character who is so underrated and unfairly overlooked #justice for my boy! #anyway #obey me #obey me nightbringer #omswd #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub obey me #beel obey me #obey me hcs #obey me headcanons #obey me theory

[foone]

Please don’t feel obligated to reply because this might be a touchy issue, but i see on one of your posts that you hate Hacker News. I just discovered HN a few months ago and have been enjoying it, but as a fellow trans person i’m curious if they’ve been transphobic or the like (based on the context of your comment) and if i should stay away

OKAY SO here's thing thing: as a reader, HN is... fine. They're not great. They have a history of sexism in what posts get boosted and a history of various shades of transphobia in the comments, but that's not particularly unusual as far as internet forums go. Reddit is much the same, for example.

My problems with HN are related to getting posted there. The way the site works when you're reading it and when you're getting posted there are very different. More explanation under the readmore since this got long. (warning: some talk of transphobia and doxxing)

The site is not avoidable. Back when I was still on twitter, getting posted on HN meant your notifications were useless for a week, because they are scraped by endless bots trying to farm for likes and reblogs, and every single one of them ends up tagging you. And even now when I'm off twitter, getting posted there means you still get informed that you've been posted there, by well-meaning people who know you hate it, or are just innocently commentating on how it's neat to see you on HN. Or hey, in the latest iteration, you find out because your askbox is now full of slurs (and not just the ones you'd expect!). Basically, it is impossible to be submitted to HN and not know about it.

And then it gets worse because it's now a known fact that I don't like being on HN. Meaning every time I AM on HN, it turns into a big debate in the comments about why I don't like HN, why I post the way I do, and people arguing with the explanation of my opinion. I'm not even there, and people are mad at the phantom of me for not doing things in the way they like.

Because how I post is part of what they always get mad at me about. I have severe ADHD: This is a well known fact about me, I post about it a lot. It means that I used to post on twitter a lot, because twitter was (at the time) one of the only sites I could post on at all: The way it makes you chop up your line of thinking into small chunks, each of which is small enough that I can focus on it. I've since managed to handle tumblr-posting, and I occasionally post on mastodon now, but for most of the time that I was posted on HN, I was posting this way, only on twitter, in long threads where I don't think much ahead or do editing/revisions BECAUSE I CAN'T.

And here's the thing about people who prefer more "traditional" geek news sites like HN: A lot of them are there because they hate the bite-size nature of sites like twitter and tiktok. And they are Not Happy with people submitting twitter threads to HN: They hate that kind of formatting of content, and announce that fact, loudly.

And then people in the comments point out that I have ADHD and can't post in the style they'd prefer (long well-edited blog posts), and then it turns into an argument there, often with people happily brining up their opinions on whether ADHD is "real" or things like that. Again, I'm getting argued about without being there to defend myself.

And this is where it gets transphobic, through the indirect route of sexism: Someone says something innocent but vaguely dickish like "well he should just hire someone to rewrite all his twitter posts as blog posts!" (like they think I am doing this as a job and can afford to pay an editor, rather than just some weirdo who rants because that's what they do). They assume I'm a man, because most of the people who get posted on HN (and especially the ones who get upvoted) are. They just assume everyone without an Obviously Female Name and a profile picture that's a photo of a smiling woman is male, and honestly they're probably right most of the time, because that's just how the gender balance on HN ends up working.

And then someone points out I use they/them pronouns, and it just goes to shit. You get people yelling that it's not their job to figure out the pronouns of everyone they're talking about, like it's a perfectly normal thing to just assume everyone is male, you get people arguing about how "he" used to be the gender neutral pronoun, you get people arguing that singular-they is ungrammatical, you get people taking offense at the very idea of they/them pronouns because "you can't force everyone to follow your religion" (as apparently either trans or non-binary is a religion now (well, I am a pope)), and then a bunch of "[post flagged]" and you can only speculate about how bad THOSE posts were, if so much other transphobia is still sitting in the comments, untouched by the supposed moderators who are supposed to delete it.

You get people calling you mentally ill, and then getting in arguments about how they mean YOU SPECIFICALLY for the crime of "wanting to not be posted on HN", and not all trans people. Because apparently the HN rules are fine with you saying "this specific trans person is mentally ill and should be locked up" as long as you don't imply that your statements also apply to trans people in general.

And then you get hate in your contact forms for days because people realize you're not active on the HN comments and need to bring the "fight" to you directly.

And frankly, this whole mess is made worse by the site's userbase treating it as a joke or something easily fixable. Like, aside from making my pronouns "obvious" (I'm not sure how, exactly? it's already in all my profiles) which wouldn't help, they want me to just move to a different site, one where I can easily block incoming links by their referrer? They always point to JWZ's blog as an example of this, but he's hosting his posts on his own site. He fundamentally is doing something very different than I am, and I really shouldn't have to CHANGE WHAT SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS I USE just because they're being a butt.

And treating it like a joke? oy vey! I once posted a rant on tumblr about WHY EXACTLY I don't like getting posted on HN, and guess what happened next? SOMEONE POSTED THAT THREAD ON HN.

They also have a history of getting mad at me for not wanting to be posted on HN, like it's prima-dona behavior or "egotistical". Like I should be just happy that my stuff got posted there, something that has only ever brought negative attention. I think maybe they assume I'm doing this as a job, and every time they link to my stuff, I make a bunch of money? That's not the case. I don't make any money from them. I don't have ads. This isn't my job. (Fun fact: I know at least one person who has their blog set up to show ads only when HN links to their content, and not otherwise)

I really don't know why they think it's egotistical of me to not want to get harassed, dismissed, and spammed by their site and their users. It's almost like they think it's me posting my content on HN myself, which I would never do because it doesn't aid me in any way. If I was making content for them, I would make sure it gets posted there. I'm not, so I don't. I post for the sites I post on. I could blog in a way they'd like and then post it to HN if I wanted to. I don't. I choose to tweet (in the past) or post on tumblr or post on mastodon, because I'm posting for those specific communities.

And the thing about it is that all these points are, to some extent, obvious. And people know them. Maybe not the people posting the most unthinking takes on HN, but others will point them out. So this just contributes to any HN thread on my posts turning into a big argument.

And there's always people going "WELL JUST DON'T READ THE POSTS ABOUT YOU" as if that's a reasonable option. first of all, I can't be ignorant about them, as mentioned before they kick down my door and go HEY FOONE YOU'RE ON HACKERNEWS. But more importantly, I'm trans. Do you know what happens if enough people get mad at you online? They start posting your home address, phone number, and pictures of your face and relatives. I have to stay at least SLIGHTLY aware of how the discussion on me is going, or I'll be completely surprised when someone shows up at my house with a gun. (This isn't hyperbole: I have gotten doxxed before because I made a twitter thread that got the wrong people a little too mad at me)

Anyway I've talked to the admins of the site and they have basically refused to do anything about it. They admit that they can block my posts from showing up on the site, but they don't want to because people enjoy my content. My wishes don't matter.

And anyway the epilogue is that this has mostly worked out by now. I stopped posting on twitter, not because HN was pushing me to a site where I could better control my post's reach, but because Elon destroyed it. I'm posting longer-form content now, not because my ADHD got better, but because years of training myself to write this way has made it so that I can handle writing as if I was on twitter-like sites, without the enforced restrictions of them.

And I have countermeasures against HN now. Offensive and defensive ones. I'm a little less likely to be posting Cool Tech Stuff here on tumblr now (because every time this happens it severely dampens my enthusiasm for the subject), but I'm a lot less worried that something I post will end up on HN now, as I have options. (I don't want to go into them because HN being HN, they might take preemptive counter-countermeasures to try to disarm them).

Anyway, tl;dr: it's okay if you like reading the site. my problems with it are with getting submitted there, not with reading it. As long as you don't submit my content there, that's 100% okay with me.

#hacker news #cw transphobia #cw doxxing

[cerise-on-top]

Hiiiii how have you been love bug? (Please tell me if your uncomfortable with that term since you are non-binary and they/them I’m not sure what nicknames you are uncomfortable with it’s just what I call my friends and just a nickname I have for people in general🫶🏻🫶🏻 ) so I’d like to to request farah with a adhd reader who is hyper forgetful and sometimes has meltdowns ( as someone with adhd)🧡🧡🧡

Hey! I'm fine! Bought some more yarn for my leftover blanket today, which I'm excited to work on! And don't worry, I think love bug is really cute! I don't mind most nicknames, but thank you for being considerate, I really do appreciate it! Hope you're doing well as well ^^

I don't have ADHD, so I don't know at all what it's like for someone with it! I had to do some research on it, so I don't know if these are actually viable methods of helping, but I tried! Please do correct me with something that might help and I'll add it in this post afterwards! I hope this is enjoyable to you regardless! Thank you for the request!

Farah with a Reader with ADHD

Farah doesn’t particularly know a lot about mental illnesses. She may be traumatized, yes, but that doesn’t mean she ever had the time to research any of them. So she’s definitely not the best person to go to when it comes to things like these, but she tries, even if she can’t always understand everything that’s going on. You’re suffering, and that’s enough for her to know she should do something to help you.

You being this forgetful may be a cause of concern for her, though. It’s not every day she meets someone who forgot what they did five minutes prior. It’s especially concerning when it’s something important, though, like seeing a doctor. Although she may be worried for you potentially developing something as severe as dementia eventually, she’ll try to push her worries aside and help you to the best of her abilities. If you ever need reminders, she can help you. Farah remembers and retains things very well, she’s never had any issues with it since she had to in order to get by. If you need to remember something, she’ll remind you a few times a day. You have an appointment? Don’t forget about it tomorrow, I’ll tell you again then. However, she’s also a big fan of post its and will write down whatever it is you may need and place it somewhere she knows you’re going to see it. I know, out of sight, out of mind, but she’ll also text you and have you make reminders on your phone for important things so you don’t forget. Won’t get mad at you for forgetting your anniversary, she can see that it’s hard for you to remember things and won’t yell at you or anything either. However, she will mention that it was your anniversary, or maybe her birthday. For the most part she just wants to spend those days with you, if she can, and will thus remind you. Again, you don’t need to feel ashamed for forgetting, she’ll tell you that it’s quite alright and that you shouldn’t worry. She’s patient like that.

If you have a meltdown in front of her, she definitely would not know what to do at first. Depending on what kind of meltdown it is, she’ll react differently. If it creeps up on you, slowly making you irritated, then she’ll ask you what’s wrong. Regardless of your answer, she’ll ask you how she can help you, if you would like to be left alone or if you would like to take a small break in any way. She gets it and she’ll get you away from whatever is stressing you out so you can slowly recharge. If you really do want to be left alone for a while, she will comply, but will knock on your door to check up on you every once in a while and will bring you some food as well. Farah just wants you to be well, so she’ll take care of you how she thinks might help. Food is always good, food usually helps her, so she hopes it’ll do the same for you as well.

If it’s a sudden meltdown where you don’t know where left and right are anymore, then she’ll get you away from everyone else at first. While she can’t imagine what it’s like for you, it likely isn’t very pleasant for you to be crying and screaming in front of other people. Hoping that you trust her, she’ll try to ground you, asking you how you’re feeling, what you’re feeling and how she could help you. What happened is also another question she would ask you. Again, she won’t really know what to do on her own, but she tries her best. Farah will talk to you in a soothing tone and try to distract you at first so you can calm down a bit. Whether it be cracking a joke or asking you about your top five favorite reptiles. Even if you can’t answer her properly, she’ll just reassure you that it’s okay, that everything is just bad in this moment and that it’ll pass. She’s with you this entire time and won’t leave you unless you want her to. Asks you to breathe a bit with her. In all your time being together, she’s likely learned a breathing technique or two that might help you.

Once your meltdown is over, she’ll be very gentle with you, especially if she can see you’re beating yourself up over it. You really shouldn’t feel ashamed for something that you can’t help, it’s not your fault. If you feel especially down, she’ll give you a kiss on the forehead and get some ice cream with you. Something like a meltdown seems exhausting to her. While she doesn’t want to seem like she’s rewarding you for having a meltdown, she does want you to be kind to yourself afterwards, that’s what the ice cream is for. And if you don’t want ice cream, then some berries, fruits or a small snack will suffice as well. Either way, she’s there for you the entire time until you feel better.

#cod #cod x reader #farah karim #farah karim x reader #I didn't think anyone at all would notice or remember that I'm non binary #I don't really mention that fact as much as other things but it makes me happy that some people do pay attention! #also love bug is a really cute nickname! your friends must be very lucky to have someone like you in their lives! #again I don't have ADHD I only have schizophrenia and there doesn't seem to be too much of an overlap among them #so I really don't know what it's like to live with ADHD but I get the forgetfulness #I have so many reminders on my phone and on small paper notes it's incredible #I also journal every day so I don't forget what I did during the day. that's one of my best habits yet #but yeah I'm also the kind of person who can't remember what they did five minutes ago and it's so very frustrating #sometimes I wanna look something up on google only to forget five seconds later what it was #sometimes retracing my steps helps me remember but not always unfortunately it's very annoying #but we are just so very strong for living with our mental illnesses!! #being mentally ill is exhausting and I can't think of any positives either #I know it may seem hard at times but it's important to be patient with oneself. I learned that the hard way #so please do be kind to yourself anon! you deserve it! you seem like such a nice person!

[slasherscrow]

In that case,,, Thomas Hewitt with an S/O who likes to grab his boobs >:) [With consent given beforehand!!] it’s okay if it’s a bit ooc :)

If you want to, Could you also add in a few of the other slashers? dealers pick !

Sorry for replying to this so late I’ve been having some stuff going on along with my adhd making it hard me to focus on stuff!! Thank you so much for being patient and I hope you enjoy and my apologies if it’s ooc!!

Thomas Hewitt

•First and foremost this man has pecs for days, his boobs are simply the best and have the right amount of cushion for you to rest on leave bites on🥴

• The first time you grab his chest was when you guys where cuddled together in bed and you were half asleep spooning him, it was a quiet night the sound of the insects outside lulling you to sleep when you move your hands and land them in the softest thing you ever felt and squeezed and the next thing you know you fell off the bed with the sheer force of Thomas shorting right up

• After that incident he tries to avoid you and avoid the topic about his reaction but it is incredibly obvious when you manage to catch his eye and is face plus ears turn a bright red so you confront him when you guys are going to bed and he just lets out a breathy whine and just guides your hand to his chest

• Turns out he loves it when you grab his boobs and just massage them in your hand it helps him unwind after a long day of chores and chasing victims

• Overall 10/10 grab his boobs king would let you do it whenever you want just not in front of his family I don’t think he could handle the embarrassment

Brahms

• He loves it when you grab his chest, the possessiveness like ugh yes the way your fingers would graze his nipples just makes him melt into a whiny needy mess which is also just him on a regular

• He will purposely walk around with a shirt off or something really low cut so you can see his chest (wait till he finds out about boob window sweaters)

• If he is jealous or if he’s feeling particularly needy then he would drag you to the couch if your not already there and ask you to sit in his lap and squeeze and grope his chest

• He definitely wants you to mark his chest when you grab his boobs, love bites, hickeys you name it he wants it but don’t forget to praise his chest and tell him how much you love his body

• All in all he loves it when ever you squeeze and play with his chest so much that it slowly becomes a comfort action for him he’s having a bad day cuddles and chest squeeze for him yes please

Micheal Myers

• He has big boobs and I will die on this hill they are big and plush and when you squeeze them the fat puffs between your fingers which is so hot like 😩😩

• The first time you do it was after you cam home from a long day at work and you found him just staring at the tv of reporters going over his latest kill, thankfully he followed you little rule/request to clean up after himself and take a shower after he comes home from a hunt. You change into some loose clothes and walk up to him and just put your face between his boobs and squeeze and he just falls back on the couch as you do it with you on top of him

•Congrats you just rendered the most dangerous person in Haddonfield both speechless and in shock, once he regains his senses he just grabs you by the back of your shirt and throws you onto the other side of the couch before disappearing

• The next time you see him is when he wakes you up in the middle of the night by just straddling your hips, which causes you to sit up and he just puts his chest on your face, which now is free reign to you to grab and squeeze and mark his boobs as much as you like till he gets needy for more then just you touching his chest

• Overall after he does that once at night then you pretty much can grab his boobs whenever you want and if you haven’t in a couple days then he would just grab your hands and force them in his chest and place himself on your lap regardless of whatever you are doing

#slasher imagines #slasher x reader #michael myers #dom!reader #top reader #thomas hewitt x y/n #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt #bottom brahms #brahms x y/n #brahms imagine #brahms #brahms the boy #bottom micheal myers #micheal myers x reader #micheal myers imagine #bottom thomas hewitt

[starry-survey-hub]

Xenogender Usage Survey Results

At long last, the results of the Xeno survey have been published! Out of about 160 entries, about 120 were usable! Some of these results will be varying as certain questions were optional.

Results under the cut, because this is a long post and includes graphics. Enjoy!

Q1. Do you have a main/primary gender identity?

Q2. What is your main/primary gender identity (if yes)?

The top 5 most common 'main/primary' gender identities of respondents to this question were as follows: 5. Trans Man [4] 4. Genderfluid [4] 3. Agender [4] 2. Genderqueer [6] 1. Nonbinary [7]

See the full list of all 'main/primary' gender identities HERE.

Q3. What Xenogenders do you identify with/as?

As this was the BIG ONE, I encouraged folks to give their whole lists, no matter how long they may have been. The top 11 most common xenogender identities of respondents to this question were as follows:

11. Staticgender [x5] 10. Demongender [x5] 9. Chaosgender [x5] 8. Bungender [x5] 7. Xenogender (Standalone) [x6] 6. Glitchgender [x6] 5. Stargender [x7] 4. Pupgender [x7] 3. Autigender [x8] 2. Fictogender [x14] 1. Catgender [x19]

See the full list of all Xenogenders HERE. There are 1,346 genders on this list.

These results were particularly interesting to me, because despite the high amount of respondents, only 2 xenogenders went over 10 responses at all despite the massive overall number. Xenogenders are a very vast 'type' of gender with usually very personalized meanings.

Q4. Do you identify with any non-xenogender identities in addition to the xenogender identities you have?

Q5. What non-xenogender identities do you have (if yes)?

The top 11 most common non-xenogender identities of respondents to this question were as follows:

11. Gendervoid [6] 10. Demigirl [6] 9. Male [7] 8. Boyflux [7] 7. Bigender [7] 6. Transgender [11] 5. Genderqueer [13] 4. Genderfluid [15] 3. Agender [21] 2. Transmasc [25] 1. Nonbinary [33]

See the full list of non-xenogenders HERE. I did include neogenders and "cusp" genders in these results. Maybe I'll do a survey on neogenders in the future...

Q6. When talking about your gender(s) ONLINE, do you put more emphasis on your xenogender or non-xenogender identities?

Q7. When talking about your gender(s) OFFLINE/IRL, do you put more emphasis on your xenogender or non-xenogender identities?

Q8. When thinking about your gender(s) PRIVATELY/PERSONALLY, do you put more emphasis on your xenogender or non-xenogender identities?

The extreme variance in these charts is really interesting as well. I want to make this survey an annual thing, I'm curious to know if this will change at all over the years.

Q9. Do you use neopronouns? For the purposes of this survey, 'neopronouns' was defined as any pronoun that was not he/him, she/her, they/them, or a combo of them such as she/they.

Q10. What type of neopronouns do you use (if yes)?

Q11. Do you prefer if people refer to you with your neopronouns or your non-neopronoun pronouns?

Q12. Do you have any additional comments about your xenogenders or neopronouns?

These will be held to the end of the survey as it is the longest section. Q13. Are you Neurodivergent?

Q13. Do you feel as if your neurodivergence has an impact on your xenogender(s)?

Q14. What types of neurodivergency do you have?

The top 5 most common neurodivergencies of respondents to this question were as follows:

5. C-PTSD [39] 4. ADHD [58] 3. Depression [63] 2. Anxiety [66] 1. Autism [93]

See the full list of neurodivergencies HERE.

I do think these results support my hypothesis that there is a strong intersection of neurodivergency, as well as specifically with autism.

That is the end of the results section! Below are participant comments. I removed comments that clarified on their personal identities or comments directed specifically to me. I found a lot of these very insightful, so even though this section is long, I do recommend reading through them. Thank you to everyone who participated!

COMMENTS ABOUT XENOGENDERS:

>> I believe that there is a huge problem in Xenos where the coiners end up deleting their blogs or presence online so it makes it impossible almost to trace back the gender, as well as there not being a well documented enough place for people to access info on Xenos. The best I found that is specifically only for Xenos is a Wikidot but it doesn't have a lot in terms of some genders imo. There's a weird sort of sense where genders and pronouns become their own lost media, and it's sad. I wish we had a way to properly catalog them as best we could but it's nigh impossible as MOGAI and Xenos were intended to be made where anything could be a Xeno (which is good!) but in the wake, double-coining happens and we lose the ones we did coin in the end. Sorry to ramble oops

>>I think the fact that im otherkin influences my gender identity in major wayss

>>I love my xenos and my genders and i think id like to talk more about it irl.

>>i identify as [gender, removed for privacy] privately and do not share it anywhere outside of my close group of friends. i also only identify with it with my own definition, as every one i've seen online includes concepts (aligning with masculinity/femininity, including european concepts such as royalty, etc) that i either feel uncomfortable with or feel defeat the entire purpose of a xenogender to begin with.

>>We identify the body as sushigender for this reason: Sushi comes in many different styles and fillings, but it's still sushi. Therefore, we can present however we want and it's still us. (It's basically putting a xenogender to describe unlabeled/not caring too much about labels)

>>i wish people (both queer & not) were more accepting that gender expression can be silly and you can have fun with it! sometimes labels are goofy. sometimes pronouns are silly. it doesn't make them any less valid. end the sillyphobia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>i barely attach my xenogenders to my actual gender and its mostly a representation of my entire identity , or some sort of fashion statement or something

>>Most of my xenogenders are private- I do not talk about them other than fairy and livia gender. This is because they are for me and not others, and most people do not need to know about them! :> however, though I will not admit this everywhere, my non-xenogender labels mostly only exist for other people. I am fairygender before I am trans, before I am bigender. I am liviagender before I am trans.

>>Sometimes I like to label, sometimes not, the xenogenders and other genders I identify with are all loose and fluid categories for me.

>>i only use xenogenders and neopronouns with other queer people.

>>i love love love the community this is so cool and i think everyone being able to express themselves is the most important thing in the world

>>I am satisfied with identifying with 'xenogender' as an umbrella term, rather than trying to find and list specific xenogenders I identify with. At least for now. Going to the effort of finding specific xenogenders has not been worth it to me so far.

>>Neurodivergence doesn't intersect with this as much as my alterhumanity does! I am a fairy and a pigeon. Neither has a concept of gender the way humans do. In an ideal world I would not have to fit myself into that system at all! Neurodivergence intersects because it intersects with everything. I am my brain. What it is is what I am. I can't run away from that.

COMMENTS ABOUT NEOPRONOUNS:

>>Most people don't use the neopronouns so it feels wrong to say I prefer them, sense they're never used

>>Honestly I only use my neos with close friends I'm sometimes public abt it but I'm too afraid of backlash sometimes

>>i sort of prefer folks to use my neopronouns purely as a result of most people NOT using them. if people actually used them equally, i would not feel that need to even things out.

>>We do notice people only using the first pronouns you list and ignoring the others (using exclusively she/her when the pronouns are she/they/xe/gem)

>>No one uses them and it makes me really dysphoria but I feel I can't enforce it because there so weird

COMMENTS ABOUT THE INTERSECTION OF NEURODIVERGENCY AND XENOGENDERS:

>>I do genuinely believe a lot of the xenogenders I have are related very specifically to my autism and how I perceive things around me, especially the sound / music related ones.

>>A lot of my overlap comes from perceiving the world around me differently, including my genders and the fluidity of my identity. I feel closer to sounds, concepts, objects, feelings, etc., than I do "typical" and "traditional" gender identities. I understand things more closely and easily in abstracts and metaphors when it comes to my own feelings, so things like "boy" and "girl" don't make much sense to me as a personal experience.

>>Autism affects that indirectly by being a major reason for my alterhumanity

>>My autism effects how I identify myself more than anything most of my xenogenders have to do with my special interests or stuff I feel like due to my autism

>>i have more genders than "usual" because of my multiplicity

>>The intersection most prominently comes from the autism. Being autistic has heavily impacted how I view my role in society and is influenced by a lot of that + my interests

>>autism is the Big one, because it makes me see and literally feel my gender differently to an allistic person. and OSDD-1b affects it only because it's a weird experience being transfem in an afab body, so my gender experience is quite different to singlets who are transfem

>>i think i likely would still experience xenogenders if i was neurotypical, but the fact that i am neurodivergent makes me experience them much more intensely

>>My dissociative disorder (OSDD) and autism majorly effect the way I view gender. It's almost entirely unimportant to me and I see it as more of a form of expression than anything and don't understand why so much stock is put into gender.

>>considering how alienated and disconnected i am from my identity and everyone else, i feel that using xenogenders that feel unclear or 'strange' gives me a sense of identity. i enjoy coming off as strange or offputting to others and like using queerness and nonconformity to express that.

>>my nonhumanity and my aroaceness are a lot more relevant to my gender than my neurodivergencies are.

>>I am not sure if my neurodivergence affects my xenogenders or not, but I know that it affects my overall gender identity, and that is why I label myself as interestfluid.

>>my concept of gender is just weird

>>It’s definitely interesting how a neurodivergency can allow someone to view gender in so many different ways. As an Autistic person, I genuinely do not understand the binary and construct that society has laid out. This in turn affects how I try to conceptualize something that I honestly don’t think *can* be conceptualized. It’s so unique to each person

>>Our autism causes us to see gender from a different perspective so to say. And being a system, other alters also have other perspectives and preferences and identities

#Xenogenders #Xenogender #Neurodivergence #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #Survey Research #Survey Results

[copperbadge]

Sam, you’ve talked a bit about the anger that comes with going undiagnosed for so long, and with having parents that dismissed your struggles. I’m about your age and I recently told my mom that I am relatively sure I have ADHD and that I was looking into getting a diagnosis, and I was at least 60% expecting her to disagree. And instead she said. “Oh yeah, I always thought that.”

Like. ????? WHAT. WHY DID SHE NOT EVER SAY ANYTHING???? Also, she was a teacher for years, and she knows how much I struggled in school so I am just. I’m honestly not sure if this is better or worse than her trying to say I couldn’t possibly have it. Like, at least she acknowledges that I struggled I guess? :/ Anyways, how’s it going with you?

I mean, I'm a big fan of repression.

That's only partially a joke. I'm not a big fan of repression but I do believe in trying to correct negative/damaging thoughts when they can't lead anywhere productive. I'm not a "think positive" person per se, but...

Yes, I am angry I didn't get a diagnosis earlier, particularly since it's not like my family was ignorant about the issue. But meditating on that just makes me more upset, and discussing this with my mother is not going to be cathartic for me or productive for either one of us. Even if I just wanted to take out my anger on her, which is a childish but understandable impulse, it's not like she did it maliciously. She was doing the best she could alone with three kids to raise and she desperately needed at least one of them to be "normal", for reasons that have much more to do with her upbringing and mental health than anything to do with me or my siblings. 

And that's all a fucked up situation, but there's nothing to be done about the past. So when I feel annoyance or anger, I stop and think, okay, but there's no point in lingering. Get it out if you have to, but then let's move on to how you can repair that damage. Then I talk about it on here so other people will feel okay about it, and I try to practice compassion, to remember that my parents tried to give their kids a good life with the tools they had and with their own disabilities to deal with.

It sounds like you're in a different place than I am, so I don't know how helpful this is. Not that you really asked for help, it's sweet that you just asked me how I'm doing, but I like to be helpful anyway :) I think the anger you're feeling is normal; the "oh yeah I assumed you had a disability and DID NOTHING" situation is actually quite common, you're not the first person I've spoken to who's had that experience. But part of managing the anger is making a conscious decision about what to do when you feel it.

Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun, wrote a book called Start Where You Are that I read about five years ago and which I've found useful in managing emotions about things I can't change. I think it gets overhyped as a self-help book, but that's not really how it functions; it's more about explicating a specific line of Buddhist reasoning and using Buddhist practice to accept the difficulty of the world without buying into helplessness over it. Part of that is learning to sit in the pain of unhappiness -- to acknowledge an emotion, experience it, and move into either using it for a productive purpose or letting it go. It's a practice that doesn't come easily, but it does seem to help, at least for me.

Funnily enough, I started writing the Shivadh novels before I had a diagnosis but I knew from the first novel that Jerry was neurodiverse. Writing him with ADHD, even as a supporting character, has been very helpful for me because like me he can't really talk to his parents about it, with a father who has passed and a mother who is in denial. But he's still a fundamentally likable person who gets to demonstrably mature over the course of the books, to achieve things he couldn’t before and be praised for it. It's very satisfying to write about someone who got a late diagnosis and that made his life measurably better. Because it has, for both of us! I would rather have this diagnosis at forty than never have had it at all.

So yeah I'm sad, and angry, and struggling, but crucially I'm not taking it out on myself or others, and I know that this is a temporary situation. These are feelings that will fade in time because they arise from grief for could-have-been, and it's worth the sadness and the anger to have the diagnosis and to finally have help. I can't help the failures and bad relationships and mistakes I made because I had a disability I didn't know about, but I didn't know about it -- and now that I do I can improve my life going forward. What I'm feeling now is passing; what caused those feelings is permanent, and from now on I'll understand myself better (and, at least in theory, have access to bomb-ass medication to help raise my quality of life).

#sam has adhd

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Matchup for bg3! Please! 💜

She/they, bisexual

I have blueish-gray eyes with red hair that's in a side shave (like one side on my hair is shaved). I am chubby, I have tons of freckles except on my face. I like wearing emo style clothes or comfy clothes like hoodies and sweats. I hate dresses and shorts, I don't like showing off skin.

Likes: anything with drawing/painting, games including board games.

Dislikes: uhhh spiders, driving (I refuse to get a driver's license it's a huge fear of mine.) I'm not scared of being in a car just driving it.

Isfp-t, I am a cancer. People say I have rbf (resting bitch face). Though I am really nice to people, unless they mess with the people I care about then I couldn't care less about them. I try to be helpful when I can. When I am around people I know, I can be loud and talkative (the loud part isn't on purpose it's just when I'm happy or excited). I tend to put people a lot before myself. I don't really like talking about my personal issues to anyone and can be known as the therapy friend. It's the opposite though when I'm around people I don't know, I'll be quiet and not wanting to interact. I have adhd, depression and anxiety (wonderful I know). When I do get upset I don't talk and won't interact until I have calmed down. I do cuss a lot though I'm more careful when I'm around kids/people I don't know. If I have a fight with someone I prefer to sit and talk it out and hate it when they walk away from me when I'm just trying to talk to them.

If you need more info just message me! Thank you! 💜

A/N: You didn’t specify which gender result you’d prefer, but since you mentioned you’re bisexual, I included my top male and female picks below! I hope you enjoy!!!

For you, @veethewriter , I think you’d be a great match for either Halsin (Male) or Shadowheart (Female)!

ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ Halsin would be a great fit for you! He’s kind and very artistic himself. And while he enjoys woodwork the most, I think he’d appreciate an afternoon of drawing or painting with you outside in the grove. Many Wood Elves, like Halsin, have either red or brown-hued hair, so he’s used to seeing such a color on people. However, he swears no other elf can compare with how gorgeous your hair color is. And he finds your side shave particularly alluring. He also adores your figure. He is a big guy, he’s tall and very muscular, and can’t help but want to hold and pick you up and squish you (if you’d let him that is). Your supple shape reminds him of nature’s bountiful harvest.

And while he himself has absolutely no qualms about showing off his skin, he respects your desire not to. Not everyone is as comfortable free of the confines of clothing as he is, this he’s well aware of. He’s always on the lookout for organic, comfortable elven clothing he could gift you.

And the good thing about Faerun is the fact that there aren't any cars. If you want to go somewhere, you’ll need wheels, heels, or a spell of some sort. (Or if you’re lucky, a druid boyfriend who can transform into different rideable wild animals. Can you imagine, strolling up to town on the back of a big brown bear? No one would mess with you! lol)

I’m not 100% decided on Halsin’s MBTI. Part of me feels he’s introverted, then again, he’s very willing to meet and work to help others- strangers even, so long as they’re kind and help him in return. I do, however, feel pretty confident that he’s a Feeler as well, so you have one letter out of the four for sure in common. And the two of you are also very open-minded, which he loves. Halsin can’t see himself in a romantic relationship with someone if they were to be angry and close-minded. An on/off sexual relationship? Sure. But for him to have that deeper kind of love, you’d need to be tolerant- which you are!

I also imagine him to be a Taurus, which furthers how compatible he is with you- a cancer. You two are so in love, it’s almost spiritual, like a soulmate sort of connection. No matter how sad or moody (or emo as you said) you can get, his steady and stable temperament will help comfort you, and ground you in times of great emotion.

Halsin, as an archdruid, is kind of the “Dad friend” of the Grove and his Party. He’s the one people turn to for advice and mentorship. You being the therapy friend understand the toll this can take. You’re able to support each other and lavish each other with much-needed rest and recovery when the demands of everyone’s emotional sharing/dumping become too much to take.

Halsin is a very focused and rather positive person, which can be a direct contrast to you with your ADHD and depression. But that’s a really good thing because, for all the things you forget, he remembers. And for all the times your illness and life get you down, he’s right there to pick you back up, or even just ride it out with you until the feelings pass. His presence radiates calm- he’s like a walking talking security blanket. If you’re feeling anxious, you can grab his hand, or have him lay on top of you for some compression therapy (don’t worry, he’s supporting 95% of his weight himself so as to not accidentally crush you lol).

He appreciates how mindful you are around the little ones. It makes his heart flutter. And he can’t help but think what it would be like to be in a family of his own with you one day.

♥ ♡ ♥ Shadowheart is quiet and determined. She’s reserved, especially around strangers, and she puts on a good front, but deep down she’s a sweet girl with a traumatic past. She doesn’t like talking about it too much (that is of course, if she remembers it), but for some reason, she’s more okay sharing such things with you.

She’s not very extroverted or loud, but she can appreciate it when you are. Your joy is infectious, and it’s something she hasn’t felt in a while, so she wants to do everything in her power to make you happy because when you’re happy- she’s happy.

And oh boy does she need therapy! As the therapy friend, she greatly appreciates your ability to listen and not judge when she does talk about her past or her feelings. Being raised in a cult is complicated, and there’s A LOT to process there. It’s gonna take time, and thanks to your open-minded demeanor, she feels safe enough to do a fair amount of it with you.

As a cancer, you and Shadowheart are very compatible romantically as I see her as an Aquarius. Both of you are smart, and devoted, and have a lot of feelings. The main difference is in how those feelings come out. For you, it’s easier to emote than it is for her. But that’s good. When you’re too emotional, she’s ready to reel you back in. And when she’s being too cold, you can help pull her out of her shell.

Shadowheart also has a ‘resting bitch face’, but that doesn’t mean she’s judging everyone. Okay, maybe she’s judging everyone a little bit, but to be fair there are a lot of peculiar characters out there and one can never be too safe! The two of you rarely get any trouble from strangers because you are too tough to mess with. From your more emo style to her ‘dont-fuck-with-me’ attitude, absolutely no one’s gonna be crossing you!

Shadowheart herself probably has a slew of health concerns and mental illnesses that she has yet to address. I imagine, that once she comes to learn the truth of her past, she is at increased risk for anxiety and depression. So weirdly, it’s almost a blessing her partner knows what it’s like living with these things. Your experience shows her that life can and does go on. And she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her with anyone other than you.

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