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#so instead of using words you use straight concepts
professorlegaspi · 25 days
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In my special self-indulgent headcanon version of speech gifts, telepathy is a mind gift, but the equivalently difficult Speech gift is speaking in concepts
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magnetothemagnificent · 11 months
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The world is so hostile to tweens.....
Like we joke about how our schools growing up would ban the latest toy trends, but that reality genuinely horrific when you think about it. Like maybe 1% of the bans were based on safety, but the rest cited reasoning like
-"kids were bartering for collectibles" (kids learning about economics and product value)
-"kids were wearing them and the colors were too flashy" (kids experimenting with self expression and fashion)
-"kids were playing with them during lunch and recess instead of using our rusted safety hazard playground" (kids utilizing their free time to do what helps *them* unwind).
Play areas specifically geared towards children and especially towards teens are constantly being shut down. "Oh kids today are always on their phones!" Maybe because
-there are barely any arcades left and even less arcades that aren't adult-oriented,
-public pools and gyms are underfunded and shut down,
-"no loitering" laws prevent kids and teens from just hanging out,
-movie theatres only play the latest films and ticket prices are only rising,
-parks and playgrounds are either neglected or replaced with gear only directed at toddlers and unsuitable for anyone older
-genuine children's and young teen media is being phased out in favour of media directed only at very small children or older teens and adults.
-suburbs and even cities are becoming more and more hostile to pedestrians, it's just not safe for kids to walk to or ride their bikes to their friends' houses or other play destinations
Children's agency is hardly ever respected. Kids between the ages of 9-13 are either treated as babies or as full-grown adults, with no in-between. When they ask to be given more independence, they are either scoffed at or given more responsibilities than are reasonable for a child their age.
This is even evident in the fashion scene.
Clothing stores and brands like Justice and Gap are either closing or rebranding to either exclusively adult clothing or young children's clothes, with no middle ground for tweens. Tweens have to choose between clothes designed for adults that are too large and/or too mature for their age and bodies, or more clothes they feel are far too childish. For tween girls especially it's either a frilly pinafore dress with pigtails or a woman's size dress with cleavage. No wonder tween girls these days dress like they're older, it's because their other option is little girl clothes and they don't want to feel childish.
And then when tweens go to school, the books they want to read aren't available because they cover "mature" topics (read: oh no two people kissed and they weren't straight or oh no menstruation was mentioned or oh no a religion other than Christianity is depicted), so kids are left with books for way below their reading level. No wonder kids today are struggling with literacy, it's because they can't exercise and expand their reading skills with age-appropriate books. Readers need to be challenged with new words and concepts in order to grow in their skills, only letting tween read Dr. Seuss and nursery rhymes doesn't let them learn.
Discussions about substance use, reproduction, and sexuality aren't taught at an age-appropriate level in school or even by children's parents, so they either grow up ignorant and more vulnerable to abuse, or they seek out information elsewhere that is delivered in a less-than-age-appropriate manner. It shouldn't be a coin-toss between "I didn't know what sex was until I was 18 and in college" or "my first exposure to sex as a tween was through porn" or "I didn't know what sex was so I didn't know I was being sexually abused as a kid."
Tweenhood is already such a volatile and confusing time for kids, their bodies are changing and they're transitioning from elementary to middle to high school. It's hard enough for them in this stage, but it's made worse by how society devalues and fails them.
We talk about the disappearance of teenagehood, and maybe that's gonna happen in the future, but the erasure of tweenhood is happing in real time, and it's having and going to have major consequences for next generation's adults.
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fleapit · 4 months
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hi. why is nobody talking about the porn ban in north carolina? the PAVE act is a bill that was passed back in september 2023 (came into law january 1st 2024) that effectively bans users from viewing websites hosting adult content without age verification. (link to the bill)
"-the act legally requires commercial ventures to verify users’ ages if a company “knowingly and intentionally publishes or distributes material harmful to minors on the internet from a website that contains a substantial portion of such material.”
In order to do so, North Carolina requires these sites to either use “a commercially available database that is regularly used by businesses or governmental entities for the purpose of age and identity verification,” or utilize “another commercially reasonable method of age and identity verification.” Companies are not allowed to hold records on any personally identifying information used to confirm users’ ages.
Additionally, North Carolina offers residents the right to a lawsuit if a site is found to record user identifying information, or if a minor’s parent or guardian finds that a website allowed their child to access a site purposefully hosting material “harmful to minors.”" obviously we don't want these websites having our IDs, but sites like e621 and pornhub just straight up aren't asking for them either- blocking their service to the state in it's entirety instead. even beyond the restriction of adult websites, obviously as the 'queerest place on the net' we can see how "material that is harmful to minors" is not just intentional vague wording, but a massive red flag. even if you dont care about the porn- which you should, this is a massive rights violation. how long until 'harmful material' is expanded to include transgender people? same-sex relationships? anything lgbtq? this is a serious fucking problem and it opens the door to hundreds of potentially worse bills that extrapolate on the same concept.
i have no idea what to do to fight it, but if someone smarter than me could add links to representatives or something, that would be awesome.
i'm also going to tag a few people to get this post out: @polyamorouspunk @safety-pin-punk @doggirlbreasts (i have no idea who else to tag, if any of you can think of someone who can help this post get out there, please tag them!)
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derinwrites · 6 days
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The Three Commandments
The thing about writing is this: you gotta start in medias res, to hook your readers with action immediately. But readers aren’t invested in people they know nothing about, so start with a framing scene that instead describes the characters and the stakes. But those scenes are boring, so cut straight to the action, after opening with a clever quip, but open in the style of the story, and try not to be too clever in the opener, it looks tacky. One shouldn’t use too many dialogue tags, it’s distracting; but you can use ‘said’ a lot, because ‘said’ is invisible, but don’t use ‘said’ too much because it’s boring and uninformative – make sure to vary your dialogue tags to be as descriptive as possible, except don’t do that because it’s distracting, and instead rely mostly on ‘said’ and only use others when you need them. But don’t use ‘said’ too often; you should avoid dialogue tags as much as you possibly can and indicate speakers through describing their reactions. But don’t do that, it’s distracting.
Having a viewpoint character describe themselves is amateurish, so avoid that. But also be sure to describe your viewpoint character so that the reader can picture them. And include a lot of introspection, so we can see their mindset, but don’t include too much introspection, because it’s boring and takes away from the action and really bogs down the story, but also remember to include plenty of introspection so your character doesn’t feel like a robot. And adverbs are great action descriptors; you should have a lot of them, but don’t use a lot of adverbs; they’re amateurish and bog down the story. And
The reason new writers are bombarded with so much outright contradictory writing advice is that these tips are conditional. It depends on your style, your genre, your audience, your level of skill, and what problems in your writing you’re trying to fix. Which is why, when I’m writing, I tend to focus on what I call my Three Commandments of Writing. These are the overall rules; before accepting any writing advice, I check whether it reinforces one of these rules or not. If not, I ditch it.
1: Thou Shalt Have Something To Say
What’s your book about?
I don’t mean, describe to me the plot. I mean, why should anybody read this? What’s its thesis? What’s its reason for existence, from the reader’s perspective? People write stories for all kinds of reasons, but things like ‘I just wanted to get it out of my head’ are meaningless from a reader perspective. The greatest piece of writing advice I ever received was you putting words on a page does not obligate anybody to read them. So why are the words there? What point are you trying to make?
The purpose of your story can vary wildly. Usually, you’ll be exploring some kind of thesis, especially if you write genre fiction. Curse Words, for example, is an exploration of self-perpetuating power structures and how aiming for short-term stability and safety can cause long-term problems, as well as the responsibilities of an agitator when seeking to do the necessary work of dismantling those power structures. Most of the things in Curse Words eventually fold back into exploring this question. Alternately, you might just have a really cool idea for a society or alien species or something and want to show it off (note: it can be VERY VERY HARD to carry a story on a ‘cool original concept’ by itself. You think your sky society where they fly above the clouds and have no rainfall and have to harvest water from the clouds below is a cool enough idea to carry a story: You’re almost certainly wrong. These cool concept stories work best when they are either very short, or working in conjunction with exploring a theme). You might be writing a mystery series where each story is a standalone mystery and the point is to present a puzzle and solve a fun mystery each book. Maybe you’re just here to make the reader laugh, and will throw in anything you can find that’ll act as framing for better jokes. In some genres, readers know exactly what they want and have gotten it a hundred times before and want that story again but with different character names – maybe you’re writing one of those. (These stories are popular in romance, pulp fantasy, some action genres, and rather a lot of types of fanfiction).
Whatever the main point of your story is, you should know it by the time you finish the first draft, because you simply cannot write the second draft if you don’t know what the point of the story is. (If you write web serials and are publishing the first draft, you’ll need to figure it out a lot faster.)
Once you know what the point of your story is, you can assess all writing decisions through this lens – does this help or hurt the point of my story?
2: Thou Shalt Respect Thy Reader’s Investment
Readers invest a lot in a story. Sometimes it’s money, if they bought your book, but even if your story is free, they invest time, attention, and emotional investment. The vast majority of your job is making that investment worth it. There are two factors to this – lowering the investment, and increasing the payoff. If you can lower your audience’s suspension of disbelief through consistent characterisation, realistic (for your genre – this may deviate from real realism) worldbuilding, and appropriately foreshadowing and forewarning any unexpected rules of your world. You can lower the amount of effort or attention your audience need to put into getting into your story by writing in a clear manner, using an entertaining tone, and relying on cultural touchpoints they understand already instead of pushing them in the deep end into a completely unfamiliar situation. The lower their initial investment, the easier it is to make the payoff worth it.
Two important notes here: one, not all audiences view investment in the same way. Your average reader views time as a major investment, but readers of long fiction (epic fantasies, web serials, et cetera) often view length as part of the payoff. Brandon Sanderson fans don’t grab his latest book and think “Uuuugh, why does it have to be so looong!” Similarly, some people like being thrown in the deep end and having to put a lot of work into figuring out what the fuck is going on with no onboarding. This is one of science fiction’s main tactics for forcibly immersing you in a future world. So the valuation of what counts as too much investment varies drastically between readers.
Two, it’s not always the best idea to minimise the necessary investment at all costs. Generally, engagement with art asks something of us, and that’s part of the appeal. Minimum-effort books do have their appeal and their place, in the same way that idle games or repetitive sitcoms have their appeal and their place, but the memorable stories, the ones that have staying power and provide real value, are the ones that ask something of the reader. If they’re not investing anything, they have no incentive to engage, and you’re just filling in time. This commandment does not exist to tell you to try to ask nothing of your audience – you should be asking something of your audience. It exists to tell you to respect that investment. Know what you’re asking of your audience, and make sure that the ask is less than the payoff.
The other way to respect the investment is of course to focus on a great payoff. Make those characters socially fascinating, make that sacrifice emotionally rending, make the answer to that mystery intellectually fulfilling. If you can make the investment worth it, they’ll enjoy your story. And if you consistently make their investment worth it, you build trust, and they’ll be willing to invest more next time, which means you can ask more of them and give them an even better payoff. Audience trust is a very precious currency and this is how you build it – be worth their time.
But how do you know what your audience does and doesn’t consider an onerous investment? And how do you know what kinds of payoff they’ll find rewarding? Easy – they self-sort. Part of your job is telling your audience what to expect from you as soon as you can, so that if it’s not for them, they’ll leave, and if it is, they’ll invest and appreciate the return. (“Oh but I want as many people reading my story as possible!” No, you don’t. If you want that, you can write paint-by-numbers common denominator mass appeal fic. What you want is the audience who will enjoy your story; everyone else is a waste of time, and is in fact, detrimental to your success, because if they don’t like your story then they’re likely to be bad marketing. You want these people to bounce off and leave before you disappoint them. Don’t try to trick them into staying around.) Your audience should know, very early on, what kind of an experience they’re in for, what the tone will be, the genre and character(s) they’re going to follow, that sort of thing. The first couple of chapters of Time to Orbit: Unknown, for example, are a micro-example of the sorts of mysteries that Aspen will be dealing with for most of the book, as well as a sample of their character voice, the way they approach problems, and enough of their background, world and behaviour for the reader to decide if this sort of story is for them. We also start the story with some mildly graphic medical stuff, enough physics for the reader to determine the ‘hardness’ of the scifi, and about the level of physical risk that Aspen will be putting themselves at for most of the book. This is all important information for a reader to have.
If you are mindful of the investment your readers are making, mindful of the value of the payoff, and honest with them about both from the start so that they can decide whether the story is for them, you can respect their investment and make sure they have a good time.
3: Thou Shalt Not Make Thy World Less Interesting
This one’s really about payoff, but it’s important enough to be its own commandment. It relates primarily to twists, reveals, worldbuilding, and killing off storylines or characters. One mistake that I see new writers make all the time is that they tank the engagement of their story by introducing a cool fun twist that seems so awesome in the moment and then… is a major letdown, because the implications make the world less interesting.
“It was all a dream” twists often fall into this trap. Contrary to popular opinion, I think these twists can be done extremely well. I’ve seen them done extremely well. The vast majority of the time, they’re very bad. They’re bad because they take an interesting world and make it boring. The same is true of poorly thought out, shocking character deaths – when you kill a character, you kill their potential, and if they’re a character worth killing in a high impact way then this is always a huge sacrifice on your part. Is it worth it? Will it make the story more interesting? Similarly, if your bad guy is going to get up and gloat ‘Aha, your quest was all planned by me, I was working in the shadows to get you to acquire the Mystery Object since I could not! You have fallen into my trap! Now give me the Mystery Object!’, is this a more interesting story than if the protagonist’s journey had actually been their own unmanipulated adventure? It makes your bad guy look clever and can be a cool twist, but does it mean that all those times your protagonist escaped the bad guy’s men by the skin of his teeth, he was being allowed to escape? Are they retroactively less interesting now?
Whether these twists work or not will depend on how you’ve constructed the rest of your story. Do they make your world more or less interesting?
If you have the audience’s trust, it’s permissible to make your world temporarily less interesting. You can kill off the cool guy with the awesome plan, or make it so that the Chosen One wasn’t actually the Chosen One, or even have the main character wake up and find out it was all a dream, and let the reader marinate in disappointment for a little while before you pick it up again and turn things around so that actually, that twist does lead to a more interesting story! But you have to pick it up again. Don’t leave them with the version that’s less interesting than the story you tanked for the twist. The general slop of interest must trend upward, and your sacrifices need to all lead into the more interesting world. Otherwise, your readers will be disappointed, and their experience will be tainted.
Whenever I’m looking at a new piece of writing advice, I view it through these three rules. Is this plot still delivering on the book’s purpose, or have I gone off the rails somewhere and just stared writing random stuff? Does making this character ‘more relateable’ help or hinder that goal? Does this argument with the protagonists’ mother tell the reader anything or lead to any useful payoff; is it respectful of their time? Will starting in medias res give the audience an accurate view of the story and help them decide whether to invest? Does this big twist that challenges all the assumptions we’ve made so far imply a world that is more or less interesting than the world previously implied?
Hopefully these can help you, too.
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fillinforlater · 3 months
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On her jeans (Part 1 of 3)
Male Reader x Kim Minji
Length: 3128 words
Tags: backstory, sex as payment, degradation, all things blowjob: face fuck, deep throat, gagging, chocking, throat bulging, rough face sex, training, passive hand job, master/daddy kink, desperate_trainee!Minji
TW: Minji is selling herself here kinda (oh no)
Credit: @sooyadelicacies for co-writing this crazy series with me. Mad lad!
-Part 1- -Part 2- -Part 3-
(A/N: Hey you! I know you're reading this. Get ready for your favorite girls to get defiled one-by-one. Goon or go (or something like that, sounded cooler in my head). For everyone else, have fun!)
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"Huh? Minji? What are you doing here?" 
Kazuha asks, surprised to see the still-trainee on this floor of the HYBE building, knocking on an unoccupied training room that she has nothing to do with usually.
"I-I came here to ask you about something,” the younger stutters. “I heard you were personally selected for LE SSERAFIM—and that there is some backer for your success. Even th-the group's scandal went away without a hitch. 
“Who is helping you, who is he?"
"What are you talking about?" Kazuha responds, face in scrunches. 
"I know that you know, Unnie," Minji says and catches the door before Kazuha can close it again. "I need answers, please. I-I've seen their plans, this is going to blow up, we'll be a failure, HYBE's loving stock.
"I can't fail this."
Kazuha looks at the determined young girl, her face loosening up a bit, turning from trying to defend her future spot at your side from a new rival to worrying for Minji. She curls her finger and Minji enters the otherwise empty training room.
"You have some dangerous knowledge," the Japanese woman then says. "Asking for this—I think you have no idea what you might get into."
"Doesn’t everyone say this about the industry?" Minji responds with wit and looks at Kazuha's sweaty body in the mirror. "Everyone always shares their doubts, from the moment you start. And now we are here, ready to debut. I know I have talent, but will it be enough?"
"You really want this, Minji?"
"Yes, Unnie, more than anything."
"How old are you?"
"Eighteen. Why do you—"
"I'll give you his number." Kazuha sighs deeply, but nonetheless, her words have Minji in a delighted dance. "I'll tell him that you are good, so be good, be honest to him. I'm doing you a favor here."
"Thank you so much, Unnie!"
"But be careful: he is greedy, he wants more than you can imagine, so be ready to give him everything. And also—" 
Kazuha pinches Minji's chin, tilts it towards her piercing eyes and whispers in the most kind yet threatening voice: 
"Never try to get between him and me."
"Oh my—your concept, these plans. They are fucking terrible. It's going to take a lot to salvage this, even you seem to know that, Minji." There is no need for you to hold back. If you think a plan is bad, you better tell someone before they fail. You’ve seen your fair share of bad plans, but not by HYBE and not to this extreme.
"I-I know. I tried to tell them, but the managers just shut me down.” Minji puts her arms back on her thighs. They were just dramatically cast into the air to get her point across, but the young girl saw your unimpressed gaze and quickly got professional again. “They are running us straight into a brick wall."
"I've seen many examples like this. A lot of companies think they can do no wrong, especially when a lot of time has passed since their latest failure." 
You give Minji her tablet back and rest your chin on one hand, the other tapping the giant desk before you. You are deep in thought, at least Minji should believe that. Instead you are looking into her eyes, mariana trenches of passion, hopefulness, determination. Minji has a pretty face, leadership qualities, all the skills of a superstar but most importantly, she has some thick lips that will be perfect for cock sucking. 
Okay, you are getting ahead of yourselves. The other big thing she has is the willingness to trade everything for her dream, for hope, maybe for fame too. She will give her dignity for glory—and you will make her do it right fucking now.
"This is a difficult case," you say slowly, watching her expression shift a bit, not yet gloomy but getting there. "Luckily, I and HYBE still have the time and resources to make your debut a success. People will talk about it for a long time. I can even guarantee you a music show win from the get go."
"Really? Oh my God, thank you so much, sir. You are way too kind." Minji jumps from her seat and takes a deep, formal bow. "I hope I can lay all of this in your hand?"
"You sure can, Minji, but you know this comes with a price, a hefty one at that. This cannot be solved with two phone calls and some convincing. Hell, I barely have any time." You stand up from your chair and look at the young woman, upper body still tilted but her huge eyes fixed on you, now you’re in front of her. You still dwarf her and she only now knows that she is completely outmatched and will pay up.
"I-I will give you everything, as soon as I can," she stutters. "I only need some time and, and—"
"But I need it now, Minji. Right fucking now.
"Get on your knees."
"Sir?" Minji asks, shocked. "On my knees? Do-do you want me to beg?" 
You snort. “I thought you were smarter. What did Zuha tell you exactly?” 
“H-how did you know—?”
“Minji, what you're asking for requires a complete 180. Your entire concept will have to be changed. From what I’ve heard, you need some new songs too. I have someone in mind who can spearhead your group but she's a wildcard, batshit insane really, but the right kind of crazy needed for something like this. But all of this will take a lot of fucking effort, time and money. And I need you to prove your worth, now."
Push down on Minji's shoulders until she winces and sinks to the floor. Black tiles, hard, cold and somewhat reflective. You know that for a moment all of them hesitate when seeing the rough outline of their head mirrored back to them. Are they really going to do it? Is this what they have to sell? Is it worth it? 
Those that stayed are now superstars and because Minji somehow knew about it and had the guts to look for you, there is not a single doubt in you that she will devote herself to you.
"I can make your dreams come true," you proclaim calmly, yet your words put Minji under unbearable pressure. "Fame, money, success are all guaranteed, out of question, beyond that everything is possible. When you just stay there, on your knees and open your pretty mouth—"
A zip and your semi-hard cock is released, to the absolute shock of Minji, whose mental image of her face is replaced by the first phallus she has ever seen before her eyes. 
"—I'll fulfill your desires."
Minji looks up at you and gulps. She thought the auditions and training evaluations were the final tests respectively, but now her entire career comes down to this one huge cock right in front of her. She curses the producers, the managers, those idiots at Ador—their mistakes have to be redeemed by her sucking dick and lowering to the level of a desperate whore.
Minji has no option. Idols are born from hardship and this is just another step, she believes. So her lips part a little, and when she locks eyes with you, they part a lot more. With a satisfied groan, you shove your cock deep into her throat.
"From now on, you'll call me Master. Later will be Daddy, but not until you've proven worthy. Your next few weeks will be rough, new people, new songs, new choreos." The first tears form in Minji's gorgeous eyes as gags bounce through your office. "I don't care how tired or sweaty you are, when I call you, you come to me right after practice, no excuses. You will obey every fucking wish, especially because I have so much work with you."
You drag your balls over her chin, let your cock rest at the top of her mouth and open it wide. Minji is clumsy with her teeth and with the way she tries to dodge your thrust, be it intentionally or out of fear. This is of course vastly inferior compared to a blowjob from all those second and third gen stars you've made big after giving them your big cock.
The only redeeming, already great quality, are her lips. Natural, not a talent or skill. She'd be a lot better just not moving, not thinking, a fleshlight, but how should such a young woman know?
"I assume you're smart enough to understand all this," you tell her expectantly and pull out. Minji leans forward and coughs up her saliva on your floor. You grab her hair and pull it back, get ready to spit at her, but she has wit.
"Ye-yes, Master. Excuse my incompetence, I—you're so big."
"No crying? No regrets? Well, that's more impressive than your blowjob skills. How about you clean up your incompetence?"
You take a step back and pull her face down, down by the hair, onto the tiles where her spurts of saliva lay. Minji hisses out in pain, you know she stares down angrily, shocked at how rude you are to her. She grits her teeth—
"Yes, Master, sorry, Master."
—and begins to lick the floor, slowly and only with the tip of her small tongue.
You are mildly impressed that she adjusted to her situation rather quickly. It is the sign of a prodigy in bloom. 
"I am curious, baby girl. I was informed you didn't really set out to become an idol. So why put yourself through all of this?" You muse and question her. Minji's eyes widened a little, finally shifting from their bristling anger. "Oh, I know everything about you, Kim Minji. It is my job to know and then some. So tell me: what is your ambition? What is your desire?"
"Who doesn't dream of being famous?" Minji says, determination in her eyes which she has pointed at you like sharp, pointy arrows. "I want to be a star, the idol that all my classmates, parents, grown-ups have never seen in me. I want to show them how wrong they were."
"Too bad that even after joining the great and successful HYBE, you are about to be their first blunder," you taunt her and slap her forehead with your cock. "Good thing you're ready to suck cock for some adjustments of their mistakes."
Minji puckers her lips and a bit carelessly gets your cock back onto them, spreading small licks on your cockhead. "This is nothing, I know hardship."
"Oh, 
"You call this nothing?"
You tsk and slap her face with your cock.
"You know hardship? Do tell, Minji..." You grip her head and begin to plunge into her mouth. "Hardship? We haven't even started yet. I'm not even at full size, stupid girl!" 
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You see her eyes widening as tears begin to form with your rough treatment. Thinking back to Minji's words, you read her well. People doubted her—you could too. She wasn't so different from the others you've trained. All they needed was education to rely on you, devotion to you and love for you and only you.
"Make sure to keep your fucking teeth off of it," you growl while your fingers search for new ways to pull at her hair, to push her away and then slam her back down on your cock which is finally hardening at the arousal her fearful face brings. The inside of Minji's mouth grows wetter, sloppier, warmer, until suddenly—
The annoyance of her teeth returns and it stings. To start with blowjobs has both been a disaster for your pleasure but intense fuel to introduce Minji to the harsh reality that is you; you and the success that you bring. Everything she has ever wanted, you can bring her, and so she fights trough the tears and accepts that you press her flat on the floor and fuck down into her mouth like it's a pussy.
"Open wide, open wide," you repeatedly command, a hand on Minji's jaw to help her make this command come true. "You useless slut, don't waste your lips on such pathetic blowjobs. Fucking hell, when I'm done with you, you better deepthroat like a mid porn star.
"Fucking waste of my time, you stupid stupid girl. This is the standard HYBE is accepting now? Fuck, maybe we can't even blame the company for your group's future failure—it will all just be on you. If you don't fucking step it up, this is the last time you will ever contact me." 
Gaze still intensely focused on her, you pull out your cell phone and unlock it. You don’t really use it for much, except for phone calls, but this alone makes this device insanely valuable. You however don’t need to make a phone call now. You only need to show Minji one thing: your contact list.
She can see you scrolling past the names of tons of people, all in the industry. Well known producers, managers, executives, staff members, but most importantly, all highlighted by a colorful array of yellow, orange, red and pink: 
The full names of hundreds of female idols. Minji scans through the list, recognizing one Unnie after the other, from nugu second gen groups to absolute super stars.
You pull out of Minji's mouth, give her time to cough up all leftover spit and wipe her tears away. Ultimately, you help her up from the cold hard floor, the only thing still laying on the floor is her pride.
"Do you get it now?" you ask and look at her, eyebrows raised with the highest of expectations.
"Yes, Master."
"Then you know what you have to do."
"De-deepthroat like a p-porn star."
"Can you do that?"
Minji hesitates, something you cannot stand for the love of everything. You grab her hips and throw her on your desk, spin her until her head is hanging off of the table. With no further warning, because she does not deserve those anymore, you press your cock on her lips and fill more than her mouth. Minji's throat starts to visibly bulge from the massive width of your cock. 
Of course she is gagging, kicking her feet but that isn't even a flight response. There is no need for you to pin her down. She wants to stay, wants to become a good slut, a stupid girl that can suck your entire cock. Sadly, her newfound eagerness isn't rewarded with success. She needs training and stretching and so you stretch Minji's throat with lazy thrust and train her nose to accept your balls on them.
"You're so silly, but finally, we have some effort, Minji," you growl and reach into the top of her shirt. "We can work from here."
You fondle her breasts, run your hands down her soft stomach. 
"Good, I can definitely work with this. You remind me of—" 
But you pause, not wanting to divulge any advantages for her to pick up on. She looks like an absolute fuck doll as her head continues hang off the table. Even upside down, it was pretty when stuffed with your cock, your balls now touching her lips with each plunge. 
"Minji, it's not enough to deepthroat like a porn star. You'll learn to deepthroat like one of my perfect sluts, whores. Porn star is a start, but it will soon be an insult to you.”
She had no idea that her consideration as a future perfect whore meant you already took a liking to her. As of now, all she knew—no, all she could think of—was your cock and that she needed to keep her teeth off of it. It needed to fuck her throat if she wanted any chance at a great career. 
And so Minji takes it, acts like a whore who willingly gets gag induced drool over her face, then fat, filled balls on her nose and accepts the greedy hands all over her midriff. Minji always thought that she needs this tight, perfect form for the approvement of the public—now it's you who decides if her body is acceptable and ripe for a fucking. 
Your seal of approval is the frantic way you tear open her shirt, then her bra and start to knead her breasts, while her tongue movements become actually enjoyable. You thrust harder, making Minji's face pale as she struggles to get air. She looks gorgeous like that, so you slap her tummy and before the choking is too hard, you back off and pull your pants up.
"That's it for today," you say as Minji still gasps for air. "From now on, you'll be here everyday after practice."
Short silence, disbelief in her eyes. "H-huh—yes, Master."
"The door will be open. Walk in and lay down on the table, just like this. You will wait until I return or have time for you. It doesn't matter what happens, you will lay there until I am finished with you."
"Yes, Master."
"A lot will change." You rub sweat and spit off her temple with a gentle hand and look at her glassy eyes. "You might not get any sleep at all. Now you will learn true adversity.
"Okay, fuck it. You don't deserve this, but I don't care."
Pull your pants back down and lower your balls onto Minji's mouth. This time, there is no hesitation, and she opens her fuckable lips wide. Her tongue starts to twirl around your sac while you begin to jerk yourself off. When Minji finally starts to suck, you feel a satisfying conclusion to this messy meeting arriving. But—
"Why would I do it myself? Get your hand here!"
You find one of Minji's hands and start to spit on each finger. Like a waterfall, it runs down until you deem it lubricated enough. Then you put them around your manhood and begin to thrust. It's a lot colder than a pussy, but Minji seems to instinctively know how to tighten the gap, the grip, her hand-pussy suddenly becomes worth cumming in.
Take a final breath and climax, each pump sending long streaks of pearly white on Minji's body. You cover her in seed until one long line, from her navel to her throat, forms and you admire how carefully she worships your balls. Wipe your cockhead clean on her hand and make a mental note to have this soft palm be a useful masturbation aid for another time.
"Who would've thought that you're already in love with my balls?" You almost crack a smile through your stone cold facade. "A good sign that you're already a whore."
"M-Master, I..."
"Shut the fuck up.
"Tomorrow, after practice. No underwear, no questions, no one is allowed to know."
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lactoseintolerentswag · 7 months
Text
Rise Characterizations Pt. 3!!!
Now that Leo and Raph are done, it's Donnie's turn for character analysis as a writing reference. So without further ado,
Donnie Character Notes
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Language Habits:
Straight up talks like a redditor who hasn't touched enough grass (affectionate)
Oscillates between very scientific paper polished, sometimes adding a dazzle of shakespearean for dramatics, or abbreviations/a shorter version of a word with a more fun connotation (i.e. "brekkie" instead of breakfast)
Uses food as surprised exclamations or curses, "oh my peaches and cream", "banana pancakes!"
Emphasizes each syllable of a long word when he's excited or trying to make a point. Conquered becomes con-qu-ered
Either exaggerates his speech or speaks in deadpan
The science terms he uses as battle cries aren't chosen at random, but rather are related to the action/subject at hand, i.e. yelling "fibonacci" when throwing his spinning tech-bo
Will overly describe an item or a situation, and often gets caught up in these observations before processing what just happened
Will repeatedly yell "help!" when he's distressed and/or outnumbered
Refers to Mikey as "Michael"
Refers to his brothers as "brethren" or "gentlemen"
Refers to splinter as either "father", "papa", or "dad" depending on the weight of the situation
Refers to his tech as his "babies"
Answers the phone with, "You're conversing with Donatello"
Uses "gesundheit" instead of bless you
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Personality:
The fixer, he supplies the family with tech and resources. He always has a trinket made for the situation at hand and/or offers his knowledge/data collected. He's always prepared to help. Even with outside resources, he likes to feel useful in solving their problems (i.e., building Todd that dog park)
The theater kid, in a similar vein to leo, Donnie has his own style of dramatics. He often uses shakespeare-like language, is mentioned to regularly recite the jupiter jim musical soundtrack, and has a music mode for his battle shell. He belongs on a stage, or at least thinks he does
Not good at lying, despite the glamour he can put on in the spotlight. This may be due to the side of himself that over explains his thoughts
An over-thinker, who really tends to over-complicate things. His first theory or idea will always be the most extreme buck-wild concept. After some filtering, he still word vomits
A dreamer/big idea guy. He does have big ideas and goals. A lot of these he's able to put into place, although some go a little haywire (see Albearto). He doesn't do things in halves, and puts everything into a project
Meticulous, someone who's very detail oriented. As mentioned before he tends to over-complicates things. This may be impacted by his love for data and collecting information (he does record Everything for a reason)
Always on the edge of violence, which is surprising. Donnie's not known as being the angry archetype of tmnt, but he can get a little violent in his fighting style and does often cite his desire to use lethal force
Low empathy, which is mainly due to his issues processing and recognizing emotions. He's been pegged as unemotional, but in canon he's rather emotional and expressionate, just lacking the skills to process such emotion (he's just like me fr)
Praise motivated, as seen with his interactions with Splinter. Also desires the praise of his brothers, who he doesn't feel understand him with all the teasing that's sent towards his direction. This also pushes him to seek validation and acceptance in other groups (i.e. the purple dragons), to feel a sense of security or belonging
Ignores his own mistakes, and will often pretend like they didn't exist or ever happen. This most likely has to do with his desire for praise, so he feels bad when he fails. If he never made a mistake, he never has to feel bad
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Miscellaneous:
Fourth to unlock mystic powers
Uses "Bootyyyshaker9000" as most of his usernames and passwords, with his alt. username being "Alpha-Bootyyyshaker9000"
Has a fear of bees, spiders, and of course beach balls
Breaks the fourth wall the most
Loves the smell of pineapple, hates the texture
Has a hobby of rooting around in the junkyard and dumpster diving
Uses cheat codes in video games
Mikey's next of course :)
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aakeysmash · 20 days
Text
Tell me you love me
Pairing: f!reader x Sukuna Ryomen.
Word count: 2512.
Warnings: ANGSTTTTTT. An attempt at it at least lmao, let me know if I did a good job with it. A bit suggestive in the middle. Cursing. Mentions of cheating (mentions!!! No cheating in this house).
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People often say that Sukuna would be obsessed with the reader/oc, but I think a relationship with him would be the hardest thing ever.
He doesn’t get the concept of being in love: at the start of your relationship he found out you were more tolerable than anyone else, he assumed that meant he liked being around you and went along with it. Of course he fell in love in the long run, but for him it’s embarrassing to admit it. He barely even said it when you asked him why he wanted you to move in with him.
It’s not like he isn’t obsessed with you: he’s obsessed with the way you just seem to get him, with the way you smile when he comes home from a long day at work, with the utmost kindness you treat people around you with and that he lacks completely. He’s mesmerised by you, by the curve of your hips, the brightness of your eyes, the softness of your hands on his body.
He doesn’t show it, though.
He’s used to being rough and redeems emotions as futile. Like he already said to you in a couple of your arguments, if you get him you get him, if not, he’s not explaining himself. Everything he does is thought of and automatically right, so why would he give you explanations?
But sometimes in relationships you need communication. He doesn’t see how intense it is to be next to someone who acts like he doesn’t care about what you want to share in your daily life. And again, he does care: if he could, he’d make a copy of you yapping and just listen to it on repeat while working. He loves how passionate you sound while talking about your hobbies, he finds the little tilt to your voice when you search for his approval adorable. He doesn’t see how difficult it is to be with him because he’s only been with you, and you’re so good at communicating and making him feel heard he doesn’t notice he’s not reciprocating your efforts.
And that means that he’s never the one who wants to resolve misunderstandings, because he thinks they don’t really exist. You were upset about your dish not coming out the way it was supposed to and instead of reassuring you it was still edible he straight up said it looked horrible and walked away? He’s not sorry. He spoke his mind, did he not? And why would you be sad about the truth?
You’re not weak, and you’re not shy either. Kind people are not necessarily stupid, and you’re living proof of that. He’d never be in a relationship with a weakling who doesn’t know how to raise her voice and stand her ground. You’re fierce in your own way, and you know how to manage his stubbornness 90% of the time. You don’t like being disrespected or ignored, and you made sure to talk his ear off whenever he did it. Not like he purposefully did it, anyway.
But as a person who understands emotions and feels emotions, sometimes being with him frustrates you. And it comes to a point where you debate on keeping being next to him or leaving him for good.
He’s not the only one who has hard days, but when both of you have one, the silence inside your house is deafening. You’re the one who usually starts up conversations, but your mind is occupied with other things. You’ve barely touched your food.
“What’s got your panties in a twist?” He scoffs at dinner. He doesn’t like you frowning, it wrecks his heart. It makes him want to destroy the face of whoever took the smile he lives for off your face.
You sigh. “You know how my parents said they were coming to visit us next month? Well-”
He’s silent. Fuck, when did she say this? He thinks. Probably one of those days where the thought of your thighs suffocating him all night plagued his mind last week. Fuck, he’d take a bite of them right now if you let him. Maybe he could suggest it. It could take his mind off of his own shitty day.
“Are you even listening to me?” You say sternly. He notices you kept on talking while his mind wandered, but he disregards it.
“Wanna fuck?” He asks instead.
You’re baffled. “Sukuna, what the fuck?”
“Damn, you could’ve just said no, brat,” he says rolling his eyes.
You get offended. “Don’t fucking ask me what’s wrong if you’re not going to listen to me.”
“Yeah yeah, you were probably going to talk about how worried you are and shit. I don’t care about that. If you don’t want to get my dick wet I’m going to rub one out,” he says waving his hand in front of your face and standing up from his chair.
You huff out a sarcastic laugh. “Are you serious?”
“Would you prefer me to find someone else to do it for me?” He bites, snapping his head toward you.
He sees you widening your eyes. If there’s a thing you don’t tolerate is cheating, or jokes about it. He knows it. He knows it, dammit. You’re fuming.
“You’re an asshole. Fuck you. I’m sleeping at Nobara’s,” you spit at him, grabbing the purse you left on the side of the table and rushing out the door, slamming it.
When he’s left alone in your shared living room, he keeps on looking at your front door. The silence is making his head hurt, the only thing he’s hearing is the sound of the door slamming. Did he overstep? Nah, you were probably overreacting. He shrugs and finally moves from his spot, going to put his dish in the sink. He leaves yours on the table, because maybe you’ll be hungry when you come home. You usually are after an argument. You’ll come back after a couple of hours saying you didn’t want to worry him too much, you’ll sigh saying this can’t keep on happening and that you’re tired of arguing, then he’ll hug you and everything will be alright. Just like it always is. You’ve never left like this, though.
He ruffles his hair; he’s angry at everything and everyone. You should’ve got that he’s the one overreacting, why didn’t you get him like usual? Why aren’t you still back after 3 hours? He hates feeling angry. He hates feeling tired. He hates feeling in general. Most importantly, he hates that the hands in his hair are his and not yours. He hates the way right now he’s craving your soft voice reassuring him in his ear, your sweet words covering him like a blanket; his head on your chest listening to your heartbeat while lying on your couch, reminding you that you’re there. You’ve always been there. There’s no one else for him, there’s never going to be one. He’d never cheat, you’re so stupid for getting angry about it. Why did you get so mad about it? Suddenly, he’s thinking about random stuff you said that he ingrained in his head.
I love you too, Sukuna. I’ll wait for you to tell me that without me forcing it out, mh? I’ll move in with you, sure, if you ask me so that nicely.
You picked this book because it reminded you of me? Thank you, baby. I love it. Both the book and the fact you thought of me.
Can you stop messing up my sock drawer? No, I did not hide your cigarettes there. But please stop smoking, I love when you taste like my lip gloss and not that disgusting shit you inhale. Give me a kiss so I can prove it to you. I’ll take your breath away way better than tobacco.
He smirks while on the couch, alone. You’re so cute. He wants to bottle up your laugh. Why aren’t you back still? His mind doesn’t stop, though.
You hurt me, Sukuna. Why can’t you notice?
I feel like you don’t care about me.
If I hadn't come to you, would you have come to me? Or would you just have ignored this whole argument and acted like nothing happened?
Am I just filling up a random space you leave open for a significant other or am I the significant other that’s capable of filling that void?
That night he dreams of you. The way you glared at him asking him if he was serious, almost like a warning before you lashed out. He dreams of the hurt that flashed in your eyes when he spewed nonsense. And when he wakes up, you’re still not back. Your unfinished plate is still on the kitchen table.
But he’s prideful, that’s why you’re the one that’s always trying to resolve arguments. Yes, you’ll come back. He’s sure of it. You always came back during the 3 years you've been together.
A week passes by and he's going crazy. You haven't contacted him at all, and he didn't text first. He lies to himself saying it's because he's leaving you some space, but the truth is that he's scared. What is he even supposed to say? Hey, I'm sorry, I miss you, please come home? That's pathetic. He's taking a shower when suddenly his phone rings. His heart skips a beat and he rushes out to check if it's you. Please, let it be you.
Instead it's Yuji, his brother.
Yuji: Hey, what happened with y/n? She asked me to come get some of her things for her. Is she sick?
Sukuna frowns. Then he realizes that- you're going to move out. You're going to break up with him.
He goes into panic mode. He never thought about the possibility of you leaving him. He thought you would come back, like you always do. Why would you leave him? Is it because you finally realized that you're better off with someone who knows how to express their feelings for you? Did you get tired of him? Have you already found someone else?
He finds himself knocking on Nobara's door in the next ten minutes. He ran, he's sweating and it's starting to rain. He's out of breath, and he gets his hands on his knees while he waits for you to open the door. He's not ready to let you go. He can't even fathom a life where he doesn't wake up to you trying to get warm between his arms, without you nagging him while watching a film together, without helping you bake cookies while laughing with each other. Without not being able to talk from how in love he is while looking into your eyes. And he knows that if you leave him he's never going to be able to live in his own house ever again, or walk down the street you always do together, or go grocery shopping and not thinking about you while looking at vegetables. You always said you liked vegetables and he always lied about liking them just to see you excited about cooking them together.
"Yuji, I didn't think you'd be this fas- oh," you open the door and your face falls when you see it's Sukuna. He snaps his gaze toward your face when he hears your voice. He missed it so much. You're so beautiful. He missed all of you. So much.
Neither of you move, you just keep staring at each other. This time, he knows he's going to have to talk first. For the first time, he realizes how hard it actually is to confront someone first. Do you feel like this every time?
"Come home," he says. "Please," he adds.
You look sad. "I don't think I'm going to, Sukuna. It's been more than a week and you didn't even reach out to say... I don't even know what. I know you don't say sorry. You never do."
Your words feel like knives. From where you're standing you're taller than him, and he has to look up to look at you. It's like he's in front of the pearly gates of heaven and an angel is making him confess all the wrong things he did, except in this scenario you're the angel and the things he did are just what he thinks about all of this. About you in general.
And you're right, he doesn't usually say sorry. The words get stuck in his throat and he just gapes up at you, still catching his breath. Pathetic.
You sigh, then go to close the door. You don't look at him anymore and he feels like he can't breathe, and not because of the run.
"I'll come get my things next week. Go home, you'll get wet," you say. And your voice is clear, you're not mumbling, you must have thought about this. He sees how hard you're clenching your jaw to appear resolute, your nails hurting your palms from how hard you're closing your hands. But you still manage to worry about him, worry about him possibly catching a cold from the rain. And he loves you. Fuck, he loves you so much.
"Wait," he manages to say. You look at him with longing. With sorrow.
And he feels like he's crying to the angel in his afterlife when he opens his mouth again, thorns in his throat getting tighter, suffocating him. But he doesn't cry here, in front of you, even if maybe you'd like it. You'd probably say that you appreciate him showing emotions, maybe tease him for it, but you'd like it. He'd kiss you while you're still laughing, saying you're stupid, and you'd continue laughing.
"I love you," he rasps out. The words feel so unfamiliar to his tongue, but so familiar to his ears. You always tell him you love him. "I'm sorry for being a shithead. Please don't leave me. I promise you I'll get better at this communication shit," he begs.
You still don't move, but he sees you getting softer.
"Go home, Sukuna. We'll talk about it when it's not raining," you utter.
"No, I don't fucking want to," he snaps. You're startled, and he cringes. He's really not used to all of this. He doesn't like scaring you.
"Fuck, I meant to say I want to get over it right now. I didn't want to scare you. I want you back, Y/N. Please, have me back. I'll get better for real," he says while getting progressively closer to you.
"You promise?" You ask, now shorter than him. You're a step of distance from each other.
"I promise, baby. I'll make you the happiest girl to ever exist," he tells you, looking at you intensely.
"Start by saying you love me again," you mumble, wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head on his chest. He engulfs you in his own arms, inhaling the smell of your shampoo, then snorts.
"Sure. I'm in love with you, brat."
Being in a relationship with Sukuna is hard, but he loves you easily.
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spacedace · 1 month
Text
Still thinking about the Social Worker Jazz concept that @gilbirda posted about and it's slowly turning into a full Anger Management fic send help
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Jason at length - much longer than it really should have taken really - set the resume down.
The new Social Worker’s resume. Because she was there, in his office, trying to convince him to hire her as a member of his criminal organization.
Crime Alley’s new social worker. A bright eyed Midwestern transplant from some tiny speck of a place that only qualified as a city because there was nothing bigger in a hundred miles in any direction to claim otherwise. The new social worker who had a Psy D. and three masters degrees and who had graduated Valedictorian. The one that had high paying private gigs lined up all over the country with the offering companies fighting over her.
The one who had, apparently, decided to take a shit job in Gotham’s shoddy social services department instead. The one that got kicked to Crime Alley - which was its own division despite technically being a small neighborhood in the grand scheme of things - within her first month. Supposedly for the sole purpose of scaring her off or getting her killed for all the questions she was asking and secret dealings she was sticking her nose into.
That social worker.
“I’m gonna need you to run this by me again.” Jason said, never so grateful for the voice modulator in his helmet as he was in that moment. It stripped out the bewilderment that had bled through into his words and made him sound stoic instead.
“I’d like to work for you.” The social worker - one Dr. Jasmine Nightingale - repeated primly. Back straight, clothes neat - if skewing more on the librarian side of professional - expression confident and hopeful. Completely and utterly oblivious of how fucking insane she sounded. “I was told that you’re the person in charge of Crime Alley.”
He resisted the urge to scrub at his face. It’d just look weird with his helmet on and not do anything to actually settle him in that moment anyway. “I understood that part.”
“Look, Doc,” She earned a doctorate and she was crazy enough to waltz into the office of one of Gotham’s most powerful Crime Lords, he’d be respectful about using her proper title at least, even if he suspected she was ten pounds of crazy in a five pound bag. “You’re going to have to tell me why. I was under the impression the only reason you ended up dumped on our end of the city ws because you wouldn’t play ball. But now you want to sign up for my crew?”
Nightingale frowned a little at that.
“Is that what people are saying?”
“What else are they gonna say?” Jason answered, leaning back in his seat, “Head of the department only dumps Crime Alley on folks he don’t like. And everyone knows he doesn’t like anyone that can’t or won’t play his game by his rules.”
“Alright, well. I’ll give you that.” Nightingale conceded, “Payne doesn’t like me. The feeling’s mutual. But for the record,” She added giving him a wry smile, as if sharing wry smiles with Red Hood was just something people did, “I asked to be assigned to the Park Row and Bowery neighborhoods.”
“You wanted to work here.”
“Yes.”
“Bullshit.”
Nightingale laughed. It was a bright sound. Not especially clear or pretty, but warm and welcoming in a way that carefully calculated giggles or overdone guffaws couldn’t be. Something with real and honest amusement in it, that encouraged those nearby to laugh along. Not the kind of involuntary, nervous chuckling people tended to slip into when they thought they had pissed someone that scared them off.
She just wasn’t intimidated by him at all, was she?
Behind his helmet, Jason found himself smiling. Just a bit.
“I’m serious.” She assured, blue-green eyes meeting the dark stare of his helmet without a moment of hesitation. He watched as she brushed a lock of her bright red hair behind her ear and out of the way. She’d woven it all into a practical, neat braid but a few sly pieces had snuck out to bounce around her. Gilding her quiet professionalism with a playful charm that worked well with her academia but make it cottagecore kindergarten teacher aesthetic.
“I’ll admit, Gotham wasn’t part of my plan when I first graduated. Time and choices take you funny places sometimes.” She plucked an invisible bit of lint off her soft blue cardigan, not nervous but absent as her gaze went distant for a moment. Thinking back on the events that had led her to his fine city. In a blink, those sharp eyes were back to focusing entirely on him. “But Gotham is where I am now, and I want to help.”
She looked at him, a serious, determined expression settling easily on her face. “The city as a whole has so much chaos and crime breaking out all the time.” No censure or horror in her voice, just a neutral fact to be observed. “But where the rest of the city has millions of dollars poured into it by various foundations or charities run by the Waynes, Park Row is largely ignored.”
Jason watched as steeliness sharpened her gaze, the blue-green shifting from the shine of a bird’s wing to the warning hue of something poisonous and deadly. “No one deserves that. No one.” Her chin tilted up, proud but not imperious. “So yes, I want to work here. There are people in Park Row and the Bowery who need help and I refuse to let any of them feel like they are going to be ignored.”
Jason considered her.
Really looked at her. Pealing back his initial off handed impression of her as some clueless transplant in over her head with no idea of what she was doing or what she was poking her nose into to find the real woman beneath. Her confident poise, her clear unshakable belief, her unflinching willingness to look danger in the eye and not blink. The tense curve of her frown, the lines of pain at the corners of her eyes, the simmering anger beneath it all. There was an edge to her, too. Something sharp and dangerously well hidden by the cardigan and folksy charm of her accent.
It was personal for the woman before him, Jason realized. Maybe not Crime Alley specifically, but something about the whole situation. The treatment the neighborhood and its residents received from the city at large, from those even beyond it.
Crime Alley wasn’t a place that received much in the way of charitable thought. The average joe with their house in Somerset and job at some corporate shithole hating every second of their life but thinking at least I don’t live in Crime Alley. Those asshole hoity-toites in city hall throwing money around equally between shit that’d get them re-elected and their off-shore slush funds in the Caymens doing their damn level best to pretend the black mark on the other end of the city just didn’t exist. Bruce, flooding the entire city with charitable programs and carefully constructed infrastructures shying away from the manifested grief and trauma that was the place he watched his parents get murdered.
For the most part no one from outside of the Alley gave a shit about the Alley other than as a place to avoid at all costs. And most of the time those natives that manages to claw their way out into better and brighter lives didn’t ever turn to glance back. Orpheus could have learned a thing or to from an ex-Alley Kid who managed to eek out a steady 9-to-5 and move to Burnley.
And something about that seemed to piss Dr. Jasmine Nightingale Psy. D right the fuck off.
He could see why Bill said he liked her enough to let her in.
“Alright.” He said, tilting his head, watching the woman seated across from him carefully, “Still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here. Why you’re trying to get on my payroll.”
“I’m not trying to get on your payroll.” She said, some of the glinting edge softening, but the steel remaining. Strong and unyielding. “I’m trying to get into your community outreach program.”
Jason thanked god and all the saints once again for the gift of his helmet. That baby had saved his ass more times than he could count both by keeping his head in one piece and keeping his stupefied expressions wrapped up and hidden from view. Dr. Nightingale was one hell of a woman to make him have to rely on that fact twice in one conversation.
“Wasn’t aware that was something I had.”
Nightingale, not fortunate enough to have a full face covering helmet of her own, had nothing to hide her stupefied expression behind. Jason had a feeling she might have removed it to make sure he saw even if she did though. She looked like she had caught him eating glue like it was a cheese stick.
“Yes you do.” She said, sounding deeply confused but unshakable confident in what she was saying. “I’ve seen it. The soup kitchens, the shelters, the collection boxes for donating old clothes, the after school day care.” Nightingale ticked off on her fingers, “I’ve lived here for less than two weeks and I’ve lost count of all the things I’ve seen setup to help people struggling in the area that I’ve been very reliably informed you and your organization are behind.”
Oh.
Those.
“Those aren’t part of some community outreach program.” He said, “We are simply locals offering services for our neighbors.”
He watched as her caught-him-eating-glue expression shifted into one that said she’d stumbled upon him licking electrical sockets for a mid-day pick-me-up instead. He had to give it to her, the woman was not afraid to let one of the most dangerous men in the city know she thought he was a fucking idiot.
“Let me see if I understand this right.” She said, and he appreciated that there wasn’t any kind of condescension in her voice, even though she very clearly thought he’d been dropped on his head as a baby. Possibly from the top of a three story building. “You have a large group of people working together to plan, organize and execute multiple services in your area - your community, if you will - that provide aid and support to those that otherwise would not receive it. Reaching out with your available time and resources to offer these services, that you provide. For free.”
Alright, Jason got it. He had stumbled ass backwards into creating a community outreach program. But he wasn’t just going to let her think she won this one. He was Red Hood, he had a reputation to uphold here.
“What makes you think any of that is free?” He tilted his head at just the right angle, the one that cast shadows across the planes of his helmet and made him look hell-touched and terrifying. “Just because we don’t charge money, doesn’t mean there isn’t a price to pay.”
Dr. Nightingale, dressed like a damn kindergarten teacher, laughed at him.
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tia-222 · 6 months
Text
3 DAY ROUTINE BASED ON ANONS VOID SUCCESS STORY
( Requested by an anon ✧ )
Introduction to the routine :
Before I could join Tumblr, the 3 day Manifestation challenge was already published on Tumblr and it become really popular and so many Anons succeeded with it. It was STARLIET who made the post and oh my word, it was beautiful ( I miss her sm ). So, this was inspired by star and my anon <3.
The 3 day concept was based on the following points :
✩ " Three days; the duration is three days for response in this world. If I would now assume I AM what I want to be, and if I AM faithful to it and walk as though I were, the very longest stretch given for it’s realization is three days. If there is something tonight that you really want in this world, then experience in imagination what you would experience in the flesh were you to realize your goal and deafen your ears and blind your eyes to all that denies the reality of your assumption . . . If I could completely saturate my mind with one sensation and walk as though it were already a fact, I am promised (and I cannot find any denial of it in the Bible) that I do not need more than a three day diet if I remain faithful to it "
✩ " Begin now to mentally see and feel yourself as that which you want to be, and feast upon that sensation morning, noon, and night. I have scoured the Bible for a time interval that is longer than three days and I have not found it. "
✩ " The Bible gives it as three days; the duration is three days for response in this world. If I would now assume I am what I want to be, and if I am faithful to it and walk as though I were, the very longest stretch given for its realization is three days. "
( STARLIET 3 DAY MANIFESTATION CHALLENGE btw)
・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚
Main terms to understand in this post ♡ -
State of Akin to Sleep :
State of akin to sleep is the most talked about method in Neville's Goddard books and it is one of his favourite techniques to manifest. Sats is basically falling asleep in the wishfulied state in even more simpler terms meaning imaging your desires as if it ALREADY manifested.
Neville says:
" You change your future best when you are in control of your thoughts while in a state akin to sleep, for then effort is reduced to its minimum. Your attention seems to completely relax, and then you must practice holding your attention within that feeling, without using force, and without using effort " .
Living in the end :
Living in the end means to go straight into end idea of what it feels to have your manifestation. As Star said, what thoughts will you think, if you had your desire!
" Techniques such as affirmations, visualization, feeling as if, are very important. You do them, let's say 15 minutes, multiple times a day, and then during the day, you just remind yourself "It's done." You have it. You are it. The problem is resolved. THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO DO. "
" YOU KNOW IT IS DONE "
・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚
Routine →
Firstly, I understand that some of y'all might have problems with visualizing when it's comes to sats, but that's totally ok. Instead of imaging you can use Affirmations <3.
Your Affirmations can be :
✧ It's a fact that I always manifest within 3 days.
✧ I successfully entered the void state within 3 days
✧ I always wake up in the void state aware within 3 days.
✧ I can easily manifest whatever I want within 3 days.
Day 1 :
Step 1 : In the morning as you wake, you are naturally in Sats without having to meditate to get into it.
You start affirming any of the affirmations above or simply imagine telling someone that entering the void state is completely easy for you.
Step 2 : During the day 3x whatever time you want, you going to meditate on the feeling of the wishfulied on how entering the void state is easy for you. See, think and act it out in your imagination. For example, I want you simply feel how it would be if you entered the void state and manifested all your desires, would you feel excited, happy or fulied. This will take you out of the " TRYING " mindset and put into your desired state of being a master of the void state.
Before bed, you are also naturally in sats, use this as the perfect time to affirm any of the above affirmations. Know that you will wake up in the void state within 3 days!!
REPEAT FOR THE NEXT 2 DAYS!!
・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.・ 。゚
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fateandloveentwined · 10 months
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wuxia, xianxia, and cultivation differences meta
translations: wuxia 武俠, xianxia 仙俠, and cultivation 修真/修仙 (xīuzhēn/xīuxiān)
think i've seen posts on this eons ago, and i'm pretty sure there are tons of these online, but since this has been written up already let's just have another one.
wuxia 武俠
wuxia and xianxia sound similar, but basically for wuxia it is about the pugilistic world (江湖 jiānghú). It is relatively more down-to-earth, and people practice martial arts ("kungfu") in their current life -- they do not do it to become xians (仙) and gods (神) however.
Like Thousand Autumns and Faraway Wanderers/Word of Honor, it has more historical background and ties to the current court and kingdoms, because people are living in the moment and concern themselves with worldly issues.
Martial arts may seem unrealistic, but in view of chinese fantasy it would be considered "real". It consists of fighting moves and internal energy, which they call qi or nèigōng (內功), and at times you see people flying around, climbing hills and jumping across rooftops which is qīnggōng (輕功).
xianxia 仙俠
A level up would be xianxia, where characters in the story cultivate to become xians (and gods, like in the heaven official's blessing). They don't really care about earthly issues here now, because their ambitions lie beyond the current world, and cultivation, getting stronger, and an immortal life are majorly all their goals.
You may not always see them working towards that purpose, such as in mdzs they are considered a lower-xianxia society (低魔), meaning people don't go through all the steps of cultivation and only stay at the stage before the "golden core" stage.
In xianxia, characters still learn basic fighting moves aka. martial arts, but to direct the internal energy they use línglì (灵力), zhēnqì (真气), and fǎlì (法力), all xianxia terms you commonly see. "neigong" is practically nonexistent in this genre. That's why people building up their "neigong" instead of "lingli" are likely never going to be able to cultivate.
cultivation 修真/修仙
A subgenre in the xianxia category would be cultivation. Characters actively go through the stages of cultivation, and likely for the MC, because they are the main character, they successfully become a xian and exit the world at the end of the novel.
There are many stages of cultivation, usually defined at the beginning of the novel in the synopsis, and a typical example of the different levels would be this:
练气,筑基,金丹,元婴,化神,炼虚,合体,大乘,渡劫
And with a cursory search, an English translation would be something like this, albeit not with all the cultivation ranks identified.
Qi condensation (练气), Foundation establishment (筑基), Core Formation (金丹), Nascent Soul (元婴), and the names after that vary too greatly with translation and fandom so I'll jump straight to Immortal Ascension
extra info: getting into the philosophy of it all
It'd be interesting to note that the word "xiá" (俠) permeates all these genres. This is something akin to the concept of "hero", but not at all also, and I'd love to speak more on this but this post has already gone way longer than I hoped it would be, so perhaps another day.
Regardless, it is interesting to note that wuxia has a greater emphasis on "xia" than xianxia. (some joke that cultivation doesn't have the word "xia" in it, and much of that is because characters have foregone heroism and focused on gaining powers and working towards ascension instead). As a result, wuxia is more confucianism-oriented, though not without its taoism and buddhism influences.
xianxia, on the other hand, is mainly derived from "dào" (道), from taoism, which is another lengthy concept if I ever get to it.
And some may have heard of the "farming" genre, 种田 (zhòngtián). This has to do with golden fingers (mary sues) in imperialistic china, earning a wealth of money, and all that. It has nothing to do with cultivation, alike they sound in english.
that's it for now, hmu if you wish to ask/discuss!
(and apologies for the pinyin translations, hope it's understandable still! formally writing pinyin they are supposed to be two separate words not one.)
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simpforboys · 1 year
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in for the long haul
xavier x fem!addams!reader
summary: you’re the daughter of fester and attend nevermore. xavier tries to fight for your heart no matter how long it may take.
warnings: kinda angsty, fluff ending, reader is goth (just like me fr), swear words, xavier is such a simp
works for both blood related or adopted daughter (whatever your imagination desires) as there’s no physical descriptions
IM SO PROUD OF THIS PLS
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ever since your father had been keeping a low profile, you had been staying with your aunt morticia and uncle gomez.
your father knew it would be the best option for you. hanging out with your cousins, pugsley and wednesday, should be fun, right?
but after too many troubles with wednesday, morticia decided to send you both to nevermore academy.
wednesday had taken a strong hatred for the place from the beginning. you, however, were beginning to warm up to it. you would never admit it, but you secretly liked your black and white uniform you and wednesday received.
you began to except friendships (unlike your cousin). a vampire named hera was your roommate and probably your closest friend, other than wednesday’s roommate, enid.
but out of everyone in the school, one person specifically stood out to you. xavier thorpe.
you didn’t know why he had taken such a strong liking to you. he made efforts to be around you, make you feel included, and try to see you smile.
so, as you sat in thornhill’s class, you tried to keep your eyes open as she taught on and on and on about specific types of plants.
xavier could feel your boredom from his desk a few seats away. he grabbed a sheet of paper and pencil and began doodling on the white sheet.
you were so zoned out you almost didn’t feel the little tap on your ankle. you looked down the table to find a black rabbit that appeared to be alive, straight out of a drawing.
you looked up at xavier threw your eyelashes. your cold, empty, dead stare was enough to almost make him feel scared.
you were about to reach down to the rabbit when thing crawled down your leg, squishing the rabbit out of existence by accident.
you watched thing’s embarrassment as he crawled into your backpack and zipped it up after him.
you couldn’t help but feel the end of your lips twist into a grin as you looked away. it wasn’t that you didn’t like xavier, you just believed you can spend your time elsewhere instead of taking the risk of heartbreak.
you watched your father’s sanity slowly decrease after the loss of your mother. maybe that’s a reason for his quirky behavior, but the concept of being so in love that it makes you lose all sense of your mind was something you couldn’t comprehend.
why risk everything for one person?
sure, you had your uncle gomez and aunt morticia as an example of sickening love. the way your uncle admired your aunt in such a way, it made you question love.
why is love so good to others, but can be so cruel at the same time?
➽─────────────────❥
after class, you began to walk down to the courtyard when you heard someone jogging behind you. rain was pouring from the sky.
“y/n,” xavier called out.
you stopped dead in your tracks, looking up at him through your wet eyelashes. “what?”
“where are you going?” he questioned as you continued to move.
“dunno. maybe i’ll go find something interesting to distract me from the world.”
“are you excited for outreach day?”
“excited for extended labor during a saturday in a little town that doesn’t like us? not exactly how i like to spend my weekends.”
xavier stared at you. sometimes he couldn’t figure out why you were so closed off, so private, so distant.
but he couldn’t lie and say it didn’t intrigue him. when xavier first saw you on campus, he was immediately interested. your beautiful looks (and the fact you and wednesday had little to no color on) captivated him. he needed to know you.
“well, i’m going to the library if you want to come with.”
you watched as xavier licked his lips. you pondered for a moment.
“fine.”
his lips curled into a grin.
the two of you walked to the library. a comfortable silence was between you too, and you could tell he was nervous.
xavier held the door open for you as you entered the library. you immediately walked over to the giant window that overlooked the rain and the small town of jericho.
xavier pulled out a chair across from you. he noticed you watching the rain.
“i like this weather. rain makes me feel good.”
“it’s so… gloomy.” xavier argued.
“look at who you’re talking to,” you joked.
xavier laughed. it was very rare you showed your sense of humor.
“there’s just something about clouds and rain to me. something very… gloomy.”
you referred to xavier’s previous statement. you could see his blush and you couldn’t help but smile at him.
and xavier swore he fell harder.
➽─────────────────❥
you and wednesday stood side by side as principal weems went around with a hat. outreach day had finally arrived.
wednesday reached in and you followed. “what’d you get?” she questioned.
“the weathervane. you?”
“i don’t know what shop this is. but i need to get into pilgrim world.”
wednesday had briefly explained to you about the case she’s trying to solve as well as her novel. you chose to try to ignore her antics because you knew how hyper-fixed she gets on things.
but if she needed you, you would be there in a heartbeat.
“tyler works at the weathervane.” wednesday added.
“the boy who’s in love with you?” you questioned your cousin. wednesday stared at you as you both began to walk to the bus.
“unfortunately. it’s quite frightening how much he likes me. same with xavier for you.”
“understood. i just hope today goes by very quickly.”
➽─────────────────❥
when you entered the weathervane, tyler was there happily to introduce you to his work. “wow, you are very similar to wednesday.” he commented.
“we’re cousins. why are we waiting?” you asked, noticing he hadn’t made any move to start.
“waiting on one more person to show up- there he is.”
you turned your head to see xavier walking in. great.
“y/n?” he stared at you.
“unfortunately.”
“alright, let’s get started.”
tyler gave you guys aprons and then walked you through drinks, taking orders, and normal café stuff.
“y/n, go take your first order.” tyler instructed as he handed you a notepad and pen.
you walked over to an old married couple. when they saw your cold face and dead-looking eyes they jumped.
“what do you want?” you asked.
“actually, i think we’re going to head out.” the old woman motioned for her husband to exit the booth.
xavier couldn’t help but start laughing as you walked back over to them. tyler was shaking his head.
“that’s the opposite of what we want to do, y/n. xavier, you try.”
you both watched as xavier walked over to a group of girls. you didn’t hear what they said, but the way they were giggling as he spoke made you feel sick to your stomach. 
you rolled your eyes as you walked over to the pastry case and took a bite of a cookie. 
“y/n- you know what, never mind. just try to be nicer to the customers.” 
when xavier walked back over with a notepad filled with orders, he immediately noticed your cold and blank stature. 
“are you done flirting with those barbies?” 
xavier smirked as he leaned against the counter, eyes locked directly on yours. it made you feel nervous. 
“why? are you jealous, y/n?” he asked. 
“you wish.” you rolled your eyes. 
“don’t worry y/n, you’re the only one i have my heart set out for.” he mumbled, now standing extremely close to you. you couldn’t help but shiver. 
you were about to speak once more when tyler walked back over. “start getting to work, guys.”
xavier watched as you quickly walked away from him. fucking tyler. 
after an hour you, tyler, and xavier decided it would be best for you to make the drinks rather than take orders. you were absolutely miserable seeing the way xavier made every customer laugh and smile. it was like torture, and not the good kind. the worst part was, you didn’t even know where this feeling was coming from. 
it wasn’t until wednesday walked in when you felt like you could finally breathe. “how are you, cousin?” she asked. 
“i feel like crawling into a deep, dark hole until i shrivel up and die. you?”
“lovely. i feel the same. is tyler here?” 
tyler came walking around the corner. wednesday and him walked away from you as you noticed thing crawling towards you. 
“finally, a real person.” you whispered to thing as he signed what’s wrong? on the counter. 
“i wish to go into darkness and never come back out.” you explained to him. 
xavier walked over to the counter and noticed your whispering. he furrowed his brows, looking over to see thing quickly signing to you. 
“how did thing get in here?” xavier asked suddenly. 
both you and thing jumped. thing went to handshake xavier and you swore you felt betrayal. 
➽─────────────────❥
you opted to walk back to nevermore after the incident in the town center, regarding thing and wednesday blowing up the statue of joseph crackstone. 
mostly, you needed to clear your head. what was it about xavier and those girls that made you so angry today? 
unfortunately, you didn’t get too much time to think. xavier had began chasing after you, calling out your name. 
“you okay?” he asked when he finally caught up. 
“i’m wonderful.” you answered shortly as you kept walking. 
“why are you so closed off?” xavier finally asked. 
“why are you so open?” you shot back. 
“i’m trying so hard, y/n. trying so hard to be your friend, maybe even get you to be my girlfriend. but you just keep pushing away.”
“i don’t see a point in dating. love is pointless to me. in 300 years, you wouldn’t be able to remember me. my soul, my existence, my face.”
“so that’s the reason? you’re scared of love?” xavier’s voice got softer as he walked closer to you. you didn’t move away (despite your shaking hands and pounding heart). 
“love can be a really good thing in life, y/n.”
“then why can it also be so cruel?”
“you have to take risks. in order to want, to get, to have something, you have to take a risk.”
he was standing dangerously close to you know. 
“you’ve made me feel something so different these past few months. just please, let me show you how good love can be.”
your breathing was staggered as xavier leaned in, lips barely touching. “can i kiss you, y/n?”
fuck it. 
you connected your lips to his as your hands came up to hold his jaw. he immediately placed his hands on your hips, pulling your body even closer to his. he was so desperate for you. 
and maybe you just now realized how desperate you were for him. 
after a couple moments, you pulled away slightly.
“i can take a risk.” you mumbled against his lips.
you felt him smile against your mouth as he kissed you once again.
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fuckyeahdindjarin · 10 months
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IV ║ Notch
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Joel Miller x F!Reader
{ Part III: Edgestitch | Behind the Seams: Part IV | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist }
Rating: E, but not that explicit
Summary: While Ellie works her first shift at the Outfitters, Joel drops by yours to return the blouse you left behind at the baby shower. Turns out, there's plenty around the house to keep him occupied until the teenager clocks off.
Warnings: Sexual tension, body insecurity, some language, inaccurate descriptions of gardening, gratuitous descriptions of the male body, undervest supremacy, flirting, dry humping, shy!reader, reader has a nickname related to her job, soft!domestic!Joel, no use of Y/N
Word count: 8.9k
Notes: Once I started writing this chapter in earnest, it came together a bit more quickly than I expected! It's extremely self-indulgent, with plenty of white undervest and belly action because you guys deserve all of that goodness for being the most patient, loving readers a writer could hope for 🥹 Thank you, I love you all! ❤️
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Notch – diamond shaped marks that stick out beyond the edge of the pattern to line up all the pieces when sewing the garment. They come in pairs to be matched up.
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Joel is sleeping - which is not something that could be said until a couple of months ago.
After the outbreak, sleep as a concept ceased to exist. What took its place is literal ‘shuteye’, either engineered by pills knocked back with moonshine, or a preventative shutdown by his body to avoid total failure, having pushed his physical form to the living limit.
It’s the kind of sleep that is destitute and provides no relief. It keeps the cogs turning just enough that he doesn’t expire, standing in his boots - which, on most days, are not the only things held together by duct tape.
But after the hospital, even that turned out to be too much to ask for. Some nights, the itch for chemical-induced relief got so bad that Joel entertained the thought of asking Tommy for illicit pills, ready to crawl on all fours to his brother’s house two streets down because he was shaking so hard he couldn’t lock his knees. But he didn’t trust him not to tell Maria, and with Ellie in the picture, he wasn’t about to tempt fate.
So instead, he asked Maria to assign him to night patrols. She hmmm’d at his request like she knew something he didn’t, but she humoured him, letting him take the graveyard shift for a couple of weeks straight. She didn’t have to tell him that she could see the way he tripped over his own feet and hear the slur in his voice. She’s too sharp not to notice.
But she didn’t say anything.
What she did do though, was not so subtly wean him off the late-night patrols. It started with a couple of random, last-minute changes, and then the next thing he knew, he was working morning shifts exclusively. When he tried covertly swapping stints with another guy, he showed up at the guard tower at midnight to find his sister-in-law standing in the doorway, arms crossed over her pregnant belly. 
As he trudged home begrudgingly with his head down and her stern reprimand in his ears, he couldn’t help a chuckle. Gotta hand it to her. 
Banished back to his bed, Joel went back to staring owlishly at the ceiling, watching the moonlight slide across the plaster until he knew all the cracks in it with his eyes closed (metaphorically). He’d listen to Ellie snoring away two doors down and marvel at the fact that she somehow still slept like the dead, even after… all that.
And then, one night, it happened for him too.
Admittedly, he ate a bit too much at Tommy and Maria’s - on top of running the town like a well-oiled machine, she makes a mean chicken fried steak - and Ellie had not so subtly plonked a second helping on his plate without asking. He was lying in bed, steeling himself for another long night, when his eyes drooped. The motion was so alien that it jolted him wide awake, but he couldn’t shake the weight that clung to the seams of his lashes. The next time he opened his eyes, it was morning.
Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. 
It’s nowhere near consistent, and more often than not he wakes up in a cold sweat in the small hours, but in between, he’s sleeping. For once, he’s feeling rested. And it’s a nice fucking break from the relentless exhaustion that he’s convinced is fused into his bones.
He always wakes up earlier than Ellie though. She never stomps down the stairs until he’s already had breakfast, and hers has gone cold.
So on the Saturday morning following the baby shower, with his face plastered into the mattress, body curled around a pillow - old habits die hard - Joel nearly falls out of bed at the banging on his door.
‘Joel! Get the fuck up!’
For one disconcerting moment between sleep and wake, he’s in his bedroom back in Texas. He half expects to look up to see the posters on the wall and the perpetually overflowing laundry basket at the foot of his bed.
Blinking through the urge to close his eyes, the colours fade and he stares blearily at the digital clock on his bedside table. 
7:30.
What the fuck? More often than not he has to drag the teenager out of bed by the ankles, kicking and swearing, at 7:50 to get to school at 8:00.
His knees groan as he staggers onto his feet, grabbing yesterday’s jeans from the floor and pulling them on. He finds a passably clean shirt about five deep on a chair, which he shrugs on over his white undervest. With a grunt, he yanks open the door and heads downstairs on bare feet, frowning at unfamiliar sounds coming from the kitchen.
Joel pauses in the doorway, hands on hips. ‘What do you think you’re doin’?’
Deeming his question unworthy of a response, Ellie tosses him a roll of her eyes over her shoulder and resolutely ignores him.
Shuffling closer, he asks, ‘Are you - cookin’?’
Brandishing the spatula at him, she snarls, ‘What does it look like I’m doing?’
He goads her with a smirk. ‘To be honest, it looks like you threw up in the pan.’
Ellie elbows him hard in the stomach. ‘Fuck you, man!’
He grins. There’s nothing like winding her up first thing in the morning. Grabbing the pan, he bins the ruined eggs, scraping off the burnt bits stuck to the bottom. ‘Crack some more eggs, I’ll make ‘em.’
Ten minutes later, in their usual seats at the kitchen table, they tuck into scrambled eggs and buttered toast.
‘Slow down,’ warns Joel as Ellie wolfs down hers. ‘You’re gonna choke.’
‘You hurry up! Can’t be late for my first day,’ she garbles through a mouthful of food.
‘Why can’t you be like this about school?’ he grumbles, then he winces as his teeth catch something crunchy. Picking it out, he gives her a pointed look. ‘Eggshell.’
‘Calcium,’ she shoots back without even looking up, too busy shoving the rest of her breakfast into her mouth, stuffing her cheeks like a chipmunk.
That one word stops Joel in his tracks and hurls him twenty years back in time.
But then Ellie is jumping up and practically throwing her empty plate into the sink, sneakers squeaking on the tiled floor as she dashes out of the kitchen. ‘C’mon, old man!’
Joel smiles, the memory warm like sun on his face. 
He shakes his head, slowly finishing his breakfast - like he wishes he did that day.
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They turn out to be fifteen minutes early. 
To his chagrin, Ellie admits freely that she lied about the time so they wouldn’t be late. He’s a punctual guy, thank you very much. He certainly doesn’t need to be schooled by the little brat. 
Joel sits on the stairs, while Ellie has her face squished up against the door, unabashedly leaving smudges on the glass panels as she keeps up an uninterrupted running commentary on every last piece of clothing she can see.
He tunes her out easily, shifting in his seat so that his right ear is to the door. In his hands is the blouse that you left behind at Tommy and Maria’s at the baby shower. He’s been meaning to return it to you, but the week got away from him, and there’s no time like the present.
Considering the state of his knees, he impresses himself with the speed at which he stands at the sound of footsteps on the otherwise quiet main street. Squaring his shoulders, he discreetly pulls on his shirt, suddenly seeing wrinkles everywhere in the fabric, and runs his fingers through his hair, wishing he’d taken another look in the mirror before he left the house -
But it’s Lucy who appears at the bottom of the stairs with her unfailingly sunny smile.
‘Hi, you must be Ellie,’ she chirps.
She eyes Lucy cautiously, lips pinched to one side. ‘Where’s Pin?’
Joel growls. ‘Manners.’
Ellie puts her hands up in surrender. ‘Sorry. I meant - nice to meet you, where’s Pin?’
Lucy beams good-naturedly and fiddles with the lock. ‘She’s off today, and it’s all my fault because I made her work three weekends in a row. You’ll be helping me in the front anyway, so I’ll show you the ropes.’ Stepping aside and swinging the door open, she prompts, ‘In you go now, hon.’
Ellie doesn’t even look back at him, rushing into the shop like a thoroughbred fresh out of the starting gates.
Pocketing the keys, Lucy smiles. ‘Hi Joel.’
‘Hey,’ he nods back. ‘Sorry about Ellie.’
‘Don’t be, I was exactly like her when I was younger. Still am sometimes,’ she jokes. Then with a sly side eye, she remarks, ‘And honestly, you look more disappointed that I showed up than she does.’
He splutters, ‘Dunno what you’re talkin’ about.’ 
She smirks knowingly, gesturing at the blouse clutched tightly in his left fist. ‘I can pass that to Pin for ya.’
Joel hesitates for just a second, and Lucy bursts into laughter, elbowing him teasingly. ‘The way your face fell! I’m joking, Miller. Relax.’
He shakes his head. ‘It’s fine, guess I’ll give it to her next time she’s ‘round.’
Just then, from the depths of the shop, Ellie gasps dramatically and yells at the top of her lungs, ‘I want thissssssss one!’ 
Meeting Lucy’s eyes, Joel asks, ‘Sure you gonna be ok left alone with her?’
She shrugs. ‘There’s only one way to find out.’
He flashes her a thumbs up. ‘I’ll pick her up at three then.’
He’s about to walk away from the Outfitters when Lucy’s voice stops him. ‘Hey, Joel!’
Looking up at the wraparound porch, he raises an eyebrow in a silent question.
‘She lives in the yellow cottage on the same street as the shoe shop. Keep going north, you can’t miss it,’ she says with a two-finger salute and a parting line that he’s heard before. ‘Say hi to Pin for me!’
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You’ve always had a soft spot for the turn of the season, when late spring blooms graciously give way to summer buds. The grass smells greener, and the air is pregnant with pollen and nectar. It’s not overly warm yet, but you can feel the intensity in the sunlight, muted only by the early hour. Good thing you’re starting early.
It’s unseasonably warm for June, and the vegetable patch on the far end of your garden has suddenly burst into life. The cauliflower has finally come through after two failed crops in a row, and both the tomato vines and pepper plants are thriving. Closer to the ground, the onion and garlic shoots are patiently waiting to be pulled, and asparagus shoots spear through the earth in tidy lines one after another.
Pulling on a hat and gloves, you get to work.
You’re halfway through the second row of onions when there’s a faint knock on the front door. Even though you’ve only been in the sun for a little while, the coolness inside the house feels like a balm to your skin as you pad inside, peeling off your gloves before reaching for the door. 
Swinging it open, you’re stumped by the sight of Joel Miller on your doorstep.
You haven’t seen him since the party, where you’d agreed on a start date and time for Ellie’s first shift, and -
Since the kiss. 
You’ve felt his absence keenly. You’ve caught yourself loitering on street corners, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, knowing you’ll be able to spot him just by the way his shoulders swing with his long strides. You’ve kept an ear out for the southern lilt that has chased goosebumps across your skin, or any mention of his name, but all in vain.
Jackson has a habit of growing in size, usually in direct proportion to one’s desperation.
Now that he’s somehow here, you’re aware you’re gaping at him, so broad that his shoulders are blocking out the daylight. Too many years out of practice to count, you have no idea what the protocol is when you next see the man who literally made your knees buckle with just his lips and nothing else.
‘Mornin’, he finally says with a small smile. 
You stammer. ‘H-hello. What, um, I mean, how -’
‘I dropped off Ellie at the shop and Lucy told me where you live,’ he explains, shaking out the blouse in his hands. ‘Thought I’d come ‘round and return this.’
Your palm twitches with the urge to smack yourself on the forehead. Of course that’s why he’s here. 
Taking the top from him, you smile back gratefully. ‘Thank you. And of course, it’s Ellie’s first day. I’m sorry I can’t be there, but I’ve been subbing for Lucy on the weekends for a month straight and I needed a break.’
He waves away your apology. ‘Count yourself lucky. She was just ‘bout bouncin’ off the walls.’
‘Bless her heart,’ you chuckle, breaking off when his eyes flicker over you, as if he’s just registered your very minimalist ensemble of a white cotton tank top and denim cut-offs. Your skin prickles under his scrutiny, flattery winning out against self-consciousness at the deliberate drag of his gaze over you, a thoughtful weight behind it. 
That is until something catches his attention, and you flinch when he peers under the brim of your hat. ‘What -’
Before you can even articulate your question, he’s taken one step towards you, his work boots heavy on your creaky wooden porch. His voice is low but rough around the edges, just the way you like it. 
‘You got some dirt -’ he swipes his index finger firmly on the end of your nose. ‘Right here.’
Your jaw hangs open, then clamps shut, in quick succession, the shell of your ears burning hot at his fleeting touch. Throat suddenly dry, you barely manage to squeak, ‘Thanks.’ 
One day, you will at least try and keep your cool around this man. But alas, it is not this day.
Rearranging himself, Joel leans on the doorframe with his arms crossed and remarks conversationally, ‘You look outdoorsy this mornin’.’
Flashing the soil-stained gloves at him, you try to keep your voice steady. ‘I’m just doing some gardening out back. The vegetable patch needs harvesting.’
He purses his lips at that. ‘Didn’t peg you as the gardenin’ type.’
You don’t know where the bravado comes from, but you swat him on the arm with the gloves and quip, ‘There’s a lot you don’t know about me.’
‘You got me there,’ he huffs a laugh and gestures towards the back of the house. ‘Anythin’ I can do to help?’
The refusal is on the tip of your tongue. You don’t say yes to a whole lot nowadays, other than when Lucy makes you. But then you hear yourself ask, a challenge in your voice that you didn’t know you had. ‘I don’t know. Are you any good with your hands, Joel Miller?’
At the boldness in your words, which you don’t take back, Joel’s eyebrows reach for his hairline. Biting your lip but standing your ground, you watch him grind his jaw as he considers his response. 
‘Why don’t you try me, sweetheart?’
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‘Like this?’
‘Wait - slow down.’
A shuffle of hands. ‘How about now?’
‘That’s it. Yes, that’s good. Keep going.’
A raspy grunt. ‘I think I’m almost there.’
‘Yeah, that’s right, don’t stop -’
‘Alright, you ready?’
‘Come on, Joel -’
With one last flick, the knife slices clean through the base of the stalk, and Joel plucks the cauliflower head out of its leafy cradle with a triumphant grin.
‘How’s that for good hands, huh?’ he crows. 
‘I’ll get back to you in the fall when we see if the cauliflower grows back,’ you tease. 
He huffs, squinting up at you through the sun. ‘You’re hard to please, sweetheart.’
You preen at the playful turn of the conversation. If you were a little braver, you’d give him a mischievous wink - but for now, you gesture at the patch. ‘Can you handle the rest? I’ll get started on the peppers.’
He nods. ‘Leave ‘em with me.’
The pepper plants are having a great season, standing at four feet tall and heaving with fruits. You’ve left them alone on the vine for the last three weeks to sweeten, and they have dutifully ripened into a beautiful red. Settling onto your knees, you methodologically comb through the peppers from top to bottom, cutting off each one by the stalks.
It’s a big harvest, half of which you plan on giving away to your neighbours in exchange for their berries and lemons. Some you will cook. Lucy is due to come over for dinner, and she loves your stuffed pepper recipe. The rest you’ll have to find time to roast, skin, deseed and preserve in oil, which will last the rest of the year -
A shadow falls over you, stilling your hands and drawing your eyes upwards.
The sight is familiar - feet planted shoulder-wide by your knees, chin tucked in as he stares down at you, your nose level with the front of the jeans that you picked out for him - you’ve seen it all before, except for one small detail.
Joel is sweating. A lot.
His thin plaid shirt - you’re not sure if you’ve seen him in anything else yet - is sticking to him like a second skin, clinging to the solid outline of his biceps as he holds onto the basket full of cauliflower heads. The sunlight glances off the perspiration dotting his hairline, and the wispy grays that normally curl away from his face have wilted in the humidity. 
There’s a flush under his skin as he swipes at his forehead with his shirt sleeve, and your gaze follows a bead of sweat dripping down the prominent vein on the side of his neck, and into the deep V of his shirt - wait, is that the outline of an undervest that you can just make out underneath -
‘Should I take the cauliflower in?’
‘Um -’ you stammer to a halt, eyes still plastered to the front of his chest, just like his shirt.
He clearly mistakes your gawking for something else, flashing you an apologetic smile at his state. ‘Sorry, I work up a sweat real easy.’
Oh, come on. Now all you’re thinking about is how else he works up a sweat -
Seized by the sudden need to get out of the heat in more than one sense of the word, you rip the basket from his grasp and turn on your heels to sprint into the house with a choked, ‘I’ll be right back!’
You nearly trip over your own feet running into the kitchen, your heart thumping so loudly in its ribcage it feels like the whole house is shaking to the beat. 
And all that man has done is sweat in front of you.
‘Pull yourself together, Pin,’ you mutter to yourself as you tip the cauliflower heads onto the kitchen table. Grabbing a jug from the cupboard, you put it in the sink and turn on the faucet. Watching the trickle of water, you make yourself take three deep breaths. 
Joel’s kind enough to do you a favour, you could at least have the courtesy to not perv on him while he helps you out.
Nodding determinedly to yourself, you pluck two glasses from the drying rack, putting them inside the empty basket that you hook on your elbow, and march back outside -
Only to almost swallow your tongue and drop the full jug of water right at your feet.
Joel’s sweat-soaked shirt is now hanging on your washing line like a white flag, having surrendered to the heat. And just like that, the very image that has been inconveniently seared into the back of your eyes since the party is suddenly before you in all its glory, in the morning sun, out in the open air.
The white undervest stretches over the breadth of him, and if he didn’t look so good in it, you would’ve laughed at the comical way the flimsy straps are clinging onto his shoulders for dear life. Then he bends over to inspect the tomato vines, the bottom of his vest riding up with the movement, teasing a flash of skin above the waistline of the jeans pulled tight over his behind. One big hand reaches out, the outline of his arm flexing as he does, and he palms the bottom of one tomato, testing if it’s ripe for the picking. 
Except in your head, it’s something else he’s cupping with such rapturous attention. 
He doesn’t notice you until he stands up with a low grunt of effort. Pointing an apologetic finger at his shirt, he says, ‘I hope you don’t mind, I’m sweatin’ right through it like nobody’s business.’
You make a noise in your throat that you pass off as an answer, and with shaky hands, pour him a full glass of water which you shove in his direction.
‘Appreciate it, sweetheart.’ He salutes you and takes a long drag, tipping his head back. You watch, transfixed, as the sunlight bounces off the lines of sweat criss-crossing down the strong column of his neck, and the hard bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallows.
Suddenly, you’re parched. But you don’t trust yourself to stay upright, let alone pour yourself a drink.
‘It’s hot today,’ Joel breaks the loaded silence, though it’s possible that it’s unilaterally so on your side.
‘Uh-huh,’ you croak, still holding onto the water jug like a shield.
He peers at you with a touch of mischief. ‘You ain’t gonna swoon or anythin’ are you?’
Probably. And definitely not for the reason he has in mind. 
You attempt a weak smile that may have come off as a grimace. ‘I’ll try not to.’
Reassured, he nods towards the garlic patch. ‘C’mon. Let’s get our hands dirty, sweetheart.’
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By the time the vegetable patch has been thoroughly picked and the baskets crammed full, the sun is high in the sky, the morning clouds burned off with the heat.
Joel isn’t the only one who’s sweating through his clothes - your light cotton top is now clinging uncomfortably to your skin, sweat dripping down your sternum and dampening the cups of your bra. You heave a sigh of relief when he helps you move the haul to a shaded corner near the porch where you have an outdoor sink and wheel hose installed.
Emptying the root vegetables into the sink, Joel steps back and casts a critical eye over the rain gutters that line the eaves of your house. Fingers spread over one jutting hip, he leans his weight on his right leg, the stance creating all kinds of angles that are completely unnecessary in this kind of heat.
He points at the leaves and branches that are clearly sticking out from the channels, but you’re only really interested in studying his large hands. The bumps and veins on the back of them, the watch with the broken face on his left wrist, the dirt coating his thick fingers, pushed under tidily trimmed nails. The logical thought that follows is how he would leave dark streaks on your white top when he pulls you in by the waist - 
‘Looks like the gutters need cleanin’,’ Joel declares. 
Well, the gutter your head is currently dunked in can certainly do with a good scrub.
‘Rainy season doesn’t start for another few months, they can wait.’
He uh-uh's sternly. ‘I’ve heard that before. Do you have a ladder?’
‘You really don’t have to -’ you protest, but he won’t hear it.
‘It’s no big deal, I’m sweaty anyway,’ he replies. ‘Besides, you’ll be doing me a favour keepin’ me occupied. I don’t pick Ellie up till three.’
You bite your lip. ‘But I feel bad working you so hard.’
Without skipping a beat, he winks. ‘Don’t worry your pretty head, sweetheart - I like workin’ for it.’
Jesus Christ. This man needs to be locked up and the key thrown to a colony of clickers.
The inner contractor in Joel comes out to play as he climbs deftly up the extension ladder propped up against the eaves, gloves on and a tarp bag tied to the top rung for collecting the debris. Discreetly, you shuffle around the freestanding sink so that you have a clear view of him as you turn on the water and start washing the dirt off the onions.
He’s starting close by, just a couple of feet away from you, patiently scooping out the dead leaves and twigs by the handful. Up on the ladder with his side to you, you’re eye level with the swell of his belly, which stretches the seams of the vest, and the underside of it peeks out every time he reaches up for the gutters. Your cheeks warm with the memory of how the soft folds felt against you, so warm and solid that you ache to reach out, push the flimsy vest up and nuzzle the tender skin with your nose -
It takes you a couple of minutes to realise that you’re not even pretending to be washing the onions anymore, the hose running in your idle grasp as you stare, head cocked to one side.
You don’t hear him when he turns to you. ‘Can pass me the hose?’
You stare dumbly back at him. ‘Huh?’
‘The hose, Pin,’ he repeats, a playful condescension in his smirk, like he knows exactly what you’ve been looking at. ‘That onion looks sparkly clean.’
You’re not sure what happened. One second you’re holding onto the hose with the intention of turning off the water before passing it to Joel, but your brain skips that crucial first step, and the next thing you know, you’re pointing it straight at him, spraying him in water from face to chest.
As he splutters, you shove the hose into the sink and screech, mortified. ‘Oh my god! I’m so sorry!’
You watch in horror as the water trickles from his hair, down his stubbled chin and onto his chest - okay, that’s a lie. It’s definitely not horror that’s twisting in your tummy and then much, much lower between your thighs.
And if you thought this man looked good sweaty, well - you’ve seen nothing yet.
He might as well put you out of your misery and take off his undervest right about now. It’s completely see-through, pebbled nipples and the firm ridges of his pecs showing through the wet fabric, rounded out by the endearing soft pouch of his belly. 
He wears the early summer tan so well, and for the first time since the outbreak, you think about the swim club in your old neighbourhood. Watching the water drip off his skin, it’s not a stretch to imagine this man pulling himself out of the pool after a quick dip to cool down, before stretching out on a sunlounger to dry in the sun - all in slow motion, set to the track of a corny sax riff.
‘I’m sorry,’ you say on reflex, but the apology rings hollow with the way your gaze lingers over his chest, and he notices.
He chuckles, carding one hand through his wet hair to slick it back, standing taller under your eyes. ‘As I said - never a dull moment with you, sweetheart.’ 
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Joel takes his time, clearing out all the blockages and hosing the gutters clean so that you don’t have to worry about them for another six months. He dumps the leaves and sticks in the compost post, rinses the soiled gloves and his hands clean, before taking his shirt off the washing line and heading into the blessed shade.
He finds you in the kitchen, back to the door, putting away clean plates and cutlery from the drying rack, porcelain knocking together and metal clanging.
This is the most he’s seen of you, in a tank top and shorts, bathed in light spilling in from the large windows that open out into the backyard. He sees touches of your workshop right here in the kitchen - dried herbs and seasoning in mismatched but tidy boxes on the shelves, knives organised by size on a magnetic knife block, plates and bowls arranged in neat stacks behind glass cabinets.
Not wanting to alarm you, he deliberately scrapes his shoe on the tiled floor to make his presence known.
Whipping around - and just a touch startled - you smile with a quiet hey, and Joel’s not sure if he’ll ever get over how the sweet shyness still clings to the curve of your lips despite the fact that he’s kissed you right there.
He stays by the door for now and says, ‘I put the ladder back, and the gutters are all done, but I spotted some shingles missing on the roof while I was up there. I’ll come back to fix ‘em some other time.’
‘Thank you so much Joel, but really, don’t worry about the roof. You’ve done enough.’
‘You basically got Ellie outta my hair every Saturday for the next few months, so I’ll have plenty of time to kill,’ he half-jokes.
A comfortable lull sets in, and he looks up at the ticking clock, surprised that it’s almost noon. Shifting his feet, he opens his mouth and is about to excuse himself when you blurt out, ‘I’m sorry I soaked you.’
The jury's out on who's more taken aback by your phrasing. Exasperated, you groan, ‘I did not mean to say that.’
Joel’s kept a respectful distance since he arrived at the house, the pliant weight of you in his arms and your taste on his tongue kept firmly at bay in the back of his mind, not wanting to bring up anything that would make you uncomfortable in the light of day. But now, he pushes himself off the threshold of the door and crosses the cosy kitchen, pleased that you stay put when he plants himself in front of you, toe to toe.
Brushing a finger under your chin so that you’re staring up at him, he deliberately pitches his voice low and gruff, the double entendre almost crude in its delivery. ‘Just so we’re clear, you can soak me any time, sweetheart, in any way you want.’
Your lips part and your gaze darkens, and he feels his body instinctively react, invisible threads reeling him bodily into you. When you speak, your voice quivers, his name at once a single-worded reprimand and a needy whine that takes him right back to his brother’s spare bedroom. ‘Joel -’
‘Yes, Pin?’ he baits you playfully, just like he did that night, taking one last step so that you’re crowded against the countertop, bookending you with his palms planted on the wooden surface.
Finally shedding that last bit of shyness holding you back, you retort with no real bite, ‘You’re such a tease, Miller.’
‘Don’t pretend you don’t enjoy it,’ he quips easily, his attention on your mouth. He hears your shaky intake of air, the whole moment suspended on tenterhooks as you skirt each other on the brink -
Just then, a breeze drifts in from the open window above the sink, providing instant relief from the humidity that hangs heavy in the air. All of a sudden, he’s acutely aware of the fact that he’s sweaty all over, so much so that he might actually smell. 
Self-conscious, he clears his throat and murmurs ‘I should probably go, I need a shower and a change of clothes -’
‘You can shower here,’ you interrupt, stumbling over your words in your haste. ‘I have a spare shirt somewhere.’
You don’t need to ask him twice. 
He smiles. ‘Sounds good, sweetheart.’
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Your ensuite bathroom, like what he has seen of your house, is clean and organised. There’s a neat stockpile of soap bars in the cupboard, and he spots the familiar bottles of regulation shampoo and toothpaste that the town mass produces.
The water is plenty hot as he efficiently lathers himself top to bottom and front to back, but the pressure is a bit weak for his liking and can be easily fixed. Something else to add to the list.
The towel you left on the rack is soft and smells like the sun. Patting himself dry and rubbing it through his hair, he wipes away the condensation off the mirror above the sink. He peers at his reflection, ruminating that it’s time for a shave, and pushes back his wet hair so the strands don’t get in his eyes.
Out of his clothes, only his jeans are passably dry, so he forgoes his boxers and pulls them on, carefully doing up the zipper. Using his shirt as a sling, he bundles up all the dirty clothes and opens the bathroom door.
He catches you coming into the bedroom as he steps out, and your jaw drops at the sight of him in just his jeans before you slap your palms dramatically over your eyes, the tshirt you’re holding onto covering your whole face and muffling your voice. ‘I’m so sorry! I should’ve knocked!’
Joel chuckles at your reaction. ‘Sweetheart, it's your house. And I’m not exactly naked.’
Lowering your hands sheepishly, you still clutch the tshirt to your chest like a security blanket, admitting, ‘Sorry, I just - I just realised I’ve never had a man in here before.’
Something wraps itself around his stomach and pulls, and it takes him a beat to put a name to it because it’s been so long. It’s possessiveness that rushes through his veins and goes straight to his head, and he has to bite the inside of his mouth to keep his voice from wavering. He demands, ‘Never?’
‘Never.’
He lets the word wash over him, appeasing the beast in him for now. With a slow nod, he takes three measured steps towards you, stopping just an arm’s length away. Gently coaxing you to let go of the purple tshirt, he snorts at the huge Lakers logo blazoned across the front. 
He quips, ‘I’m more of a Longhorns fan myself, actually.’
The tension cracks, and you grin back, ‘Well, not anymore.’
After your confession, it’s probably redundant, but he wants to hear you say it. Flashing the tshirt at you, he asks, ‘Old boyfriend’s?’
It’s the most personal question that’s been exchanged between you so far by a mile, and it’s probably none of his business, but you can’t explain why your pulse spikes at the way his normally warm gaze hardens with something unfamiliar.
‘No,’ you answer. ‘I keep some of the stock here when there’s not enough room at the shop, that’s all.’
Joel rasps, ‘Good.’
With that one syllable, his shoulders visibly relax, suddenly drawing your attention to his topless form, which you’ve been too mortified to actually look at. It’s a lot to take in, and even though you’ve seen most of him already, there is one conspicuous part that you haven’t yet -
But before your eyes can trail that low, Joel turns. ‘Thanks, I appreciate it. I’ll just -’
You’re slow to catch onto why he trails off in the middle of the sentence, still far too distracted by his general state of undress to notice until he’s already made his way to the top of your neatly made bed. And then you see it…
The flannel peeking out from underneath the duvet.
Oh. Fuck.
With an almost flippant flick of his wrist, Joel peels back the corner of the bedspread. Wordlessly, he stares down at the red plaid shirt he lent you at the baby shower, tucked snugly in your bed, buried half under your pillow. 
He stares at it for so long that you interrupt the silence for once.
‘I’ve been meaning to return it,’ you squeak, hands flailing awkwardly, desperately wanting something to hold onto. ‘I just - forgot.’
Joel half-turns to you, arching an eyebrow. ‘You’ve been keepin’ it in your bed?’
Backed into a corner - and you’re not proud of it - you lie. Outrageously. ‘I don’t know how it got in there.'
He picks up the shirt by the collar. It’s wrinkled all over and obviously worn in. He smirks, ‘I’m not so sure about that.’
You’re this close to swivelling around and making a break for it, but as soon as your axis of balance tilts backwards, Joel grabs you by the wrist and pulls you in, hauling you firmly into his bare chest.
‘You’ve been wearin’ it to sleep, haven’t you?’ he asks in a tone that brooks no argument. 
Your fingers curl into his chest, his skin blazing warm under your palms. There’s no point fibbing anymore, and you admit, ‘Yes.’
His voice is hoarse when he asks, ‘You wear anythin’ underneath it, sweetheart?’
You hold your breath for one long moment, the tension in the room swelling so quickly that your ears pop. Eventually, under his patient yet heated stare, you shake your head, lips sealed.
His pupils dilate and his nostrils flare, and you feel his grip on your hips tighten.
‘No bra?’ he prompts.
‘No bra,’ you parrot back.
His jaw clenches so tightly that you’re surprised he manages to articulate his next question. ‘No panties?’
‘No panties -’
You barely get the word out before Joel is kissing you, pushing the syllables right back into your mouth until you swallow them with a whimper.
And then he’s pulling back, growling against yours, ‘And what do you do naked in my shirt, hmm?’
You stutter, ‘I - I think about you -’
An undignified squeal escapes you when he suddenly spins you around, your back hitting the bed, denying you the chance to catch your breath. The ceiling fan turns directly above you, but it does nothing to quell the heat between your bodies as Joel clambers over you on his hands and knees, sliding his mouth over yours again in a hard kiss.
You always thought your bed was a decent size, but now, with the bulk of this man hovering over you, you’re not so sure anymore. His ridiculously wide shoulders fill your entire field of vision, and even though he’s holding himself up with his forearms by your ears, you can almost feel the full weight of him through sheer anticipation of his touch. 
His heated words brush by your ear, making you shudder. ‘Tell me what you think about, sweetheart.’
‘Your arms, your shoulders -’ you hesitate, dropping your voice shyly. ‘Your belly.’
Joel looks taken aback. ‘My belly?’
You duck your head almost guiltily. ‘Yes.’
His brows draw together in an endearingly confused frown. ‘Why?’
‘That time in the workshop, when we met, you were sucking it in so hard you could hardly breathe - but you don’t anymore.’
The dots connect, and his lips part in an oh. ‘I didn’t even realise.’
‘I know. That’s why it’s sexy,’ you point out.
He looks at you incredulously, as if you’ve lost your mind. ‘My belly is sexy?’
You grin. ‘Yes, and your confidence. You walk differently now, you know.’
He makes a noise at the back of his throat, a self-satisfied smirk tilting his lips upwards. ‘You been watchin’ me?’
‘Maybe,’ you tease.
You exhale long and heavy through your nose when he sucks delicately on your bottom lip, opening you up so that he can dip inside, stealing a taste of your tongue with his. 
‘Been thinkin’ about you all week, sweetheart,’ he whispers, trailing fire across your cheek and the hollow behind your ear. 
‘I haven’t seen you around at all,’ you whine, tipping your head back as he nudges the tip of his proud nose down your throat.
‘I know, it took three fuckin’ days to clean up after the party,’ he complains, his disgruntled tone prompting a giggle from you. ‘Never again.’
‘I’m not so sure about that. There will be plenty of birthday parties to look forward to, Uncle Joel -’
An open-mouthed kiss on the side of your neck catches you off guard, the unfamiliar texture of the wet suction and scrape of his teeth jolts you clean off the mattress, sending you body slamming into his ribcage.
Joel hums, pleased at your reaction. ‘So sensitive. I’ve barely touched you yet, sweetheart.’
It’s immediate, the shame that burns under your skin at his remark despite knowing he doesn’t mean anything by it, and Joel frowns at the way you stiffen under him. Regret colours his words as he cups your cheek. ‘Pin, I’m sorry, that came out wrong -’
‘No, that’s the thing. You’re not wrong,’ you interrupt with a shake of your head. There’s no point denying it - you’re a grown woman, and there’s something fundamentally embarrassing about losing touch with that part of yourself over the years. ‘I - it’s been so long, I don’t even know my own body anymore.’
His eyes dip downwards and slowly, over the curve of your breasts and the arch of your back. With an encouraging smile, he argues, ‘I’m not sure about that. Looks like your body’s reactin’ perfectly to me.’
Your lips twitch despite yourself. ‘You’re just saying that to get into my pants.’
He takes the unexpected turn in the conversation in stride and runs with it. ‘Trust me, sweetheart, if I were tryin’, I’d already be in them.’
‘You’re such an ass, Joel Miller.’
His roguish grin has you squirming and fisting the sheets underneath you. ‘I dunno. Somethin’ tells me you like it.’
Wrapping one palm on the back of his neck, you drag him into you again, relishing in the weight of him as he pins you to the bed with the broad frame of his shoulders. He moans into your mouth, claiming it with deep strokes of his tongue, while his calloused palms sneak under the hem of your shirt and pull you into him by the small of your back.
Even as your hips buck, begging for friction, Joel holds back, propping himself up on his knees to keep a tenuous grip on his self-control. Pulling back from your lips with a wet pop, he assures you through heavy breaths, ‘We can stop any time, sweetheart. Just say the word.’
Your response comes fast and sure, but he can read the hesitance between the lines, ‘I - I don’t want to stop.’
He presses a patient kiss to your lips, but backs away before you can deepen it. ‘How about this - we’ll flip you over so that you’re on top, and you decide what you want to do. Is that ok?’
You pause to consider his proposal, sliding your tongue over your bottom lip - he’s this close to kissing you right there and then. You ask shyly, ‘And it’s ok if we - you know, just make out?’
He smiles. ‘I can do with some good old-fashioned neckin’.’
‘Ok then -’
You yelp when Joel turns you over without warning, the sudden movement making your head spin. Sitting up against the headboard, he drags you in his lap and asks, ‘Alright?’
You nod with a nervous smile. It’s intimidating, being so close to him that there’s nowhere else to look but into his thoughtful eyes that are watching you for any signs of discomfort. Catching your breath, you settle into the moment and realise that you’re straddling him, hands clinging onto his shoulders, knees sinking into the mattress on either side of his hips. His belly is warm and soft where he’s pressed up against you, but lower, nudging insistently between your legs -
Joel is hard.
The revelation robs you of air, want and need rushing like blood to your head, and you stiffen, not knowing what to do.
Joel catches on - you’re beginning to think that nothing ever escapes him - and he reminds you, ‘Just kissin’, ok, sweetheart?’
Snapping out of your freeze frame, you nod, ‘Yes. Ok.’
Giving you somewhere to start, he prompts, ‘Where do you want my hands?’
Tugging on his wrists, you watch his jaw go slack when you place his palms squarely on your ass, where your denim shorts hardly cover the top of your thighs. He lets out a lewd moan at the way your soft curves fill his hands, fingers squeezing and kneading greedily, and you push your hips back into his contact. 
‘Not so shy after all, hmm?’ he rasps.
You preen at his praise, and riding the wave of boldness, you tip forward and press your lips to Joel’s before you could overthink it. Over the roar of blood in your ears, you hear him suck in a shaky breath, and you feel the deep groan in his throat taper into a whimper when you swipe your tongue into his mouth.
You’re completely unprepared for the power the sound unleashes in you.
Somewhere in your consciousness, a door is cracked open, and memory crackles at the edges of your mind. Each shuddered breath shared, every slide of skin on skin, brings to the surface what you thought you’d forgotten. 
Your fingers burrow into the still wet locks at his nape, earning a loud moan from Joel when you pull on the grays that have distracted you on more than one occasion. He nips his way sloppily down your neck, trailing spit and beard burn as he goes, while your palms skate over his chest and down, down, down until your fingernails drag over the pliant folds of his tummy, hanging over the waistband of his jeans.
‘Sweetheart,’ he groans brokenly at the contact, forehead knocking into yours.
Spreading your fingers over soft flesh, you choke on an inhale when he bodily rocks into your palms. Your thumb catches the hollow of his belly button, fingers tenderly squeezing the creases and dimples of his belly. His eyes crack open under tightly knitted eyebrows, vulnerability etched in every line on his face.
Something shifts - something that neither of you can take back. And suddenly, it’s not just kissing anymore.
Caught somewhere between writhing instinctively under his touch and a deliberate pursuit of friction, your hips find a rhythm that has the seat of your panties quickly twisting and dampening as you grind on the erection straining against the zipper of his jeans.
Blunt nails bite into your thighs as Joel growls, ‘Shit, sweetheart. That’s it.’
You want to bury your face in his neck, feeling too wanton in the way you’re panting in needy whimpers, but he preempts that on no uncertain terms. ‘I want to see everythin’. Look at me.’
You do just that - you can’t deny this man even if you tried - watching him watch you with his pupils blown wide and wild, wetting his bottom lip the same time his eyes drop to your tits, as if he can see right through the thin fabric. He doesn’t touch you anywhere else though, his hands staying where you put them. You can feel his grip dig harder and harder into the swell of your ass, but he doesn’t try to change your rhythm, giving you free rein to ride him any way you need.
When your peripheral vision starts to go, you know it’s not a coincidence that your thoroughly soaked panties shift and strain against your clit, pinching it just so that you cry out, hips faltering.
Joel bares his teeth, and you feel his hips rut upwards into you, his restraint slipping. ‘There you go. You’re close, aren’t you?’
You can only nod, frantically grinding into him now, your whole mind narrowing until the only thought that remains is chasing that high that you can almost taste. Everything swells, electricity fills the air, his name a sacred chant on your tongue as you claw at his back, teetering precariously on the brink of something that promises to devastate you.
‘Joel, Joel, Joel -’
He catches you when you break - you fling yourself at him, knocking into him so hard that the back of his head hits the wall, but he doesn’t even flinch. Tucked safely into the crook of his neck, you whine and wail as you thrash in his hold, and his nostrils flare at your scent. He can smell you, he can smell the slick leaking from your pussy, humid and heady in the air between you, making his mouth water as he aches to taste you - all of you. 
One day.
Right now, the hinge of his jaw almost cracks as you milk the last remnants of your orgasm with a needy swivel of your hips, rubbing against his cock at an angle that makes his vision swim, and he knows he’s too far gone. His control slips like shifting sands, and a primal instinct takes over as he bucks roughly into you, fingertips leaving imprints in your skin that you will feel for days after.
‘Oh fuck, sweetheart, wait, I’m - shit, I’m gonna -’
When it hits him, it’s fucking relentless - he cums and cums until his voice goes hoarse with your name, until it feels like his abdomen would cave in and collapse, spurting and spilling until it feels like he’s turned inside out. It goes everywhere, thick, milky strands filling the gaps in his jeans and sliding down his legs in a sticky mess, and he slumps bonelessly into the headboard, panting against your lips as he catches his breath.
Sweetly, gently, he tilts his chin up just enough to kiss you, his nose nudging your cheek intimately when he pulls away, his lungs too deprived of air to keep going. He winces when you shift above him, knowing that you can feel the wet spot pooling under your bare thighs.
Joel breaks the sluggish silence first, cracking a grin. ‘So much for just makin’ out.’
You clumsily climb off his lap and crash land sideways onto the mattress. ‘Is that a complaint, Joel Miller?’
He drapes a heavy arm over you and pulls back you flush into him. ‘Well, these jeans are fuckin’ ruined. I want a refund.’
‘I’m afraid we don’t accept cum-stained returns. Store policy.’
He pffts. ‘Damnit. Should’ve read the fine print.’
You grin. ‘Well, at least there's something deeply poetic about cumming in the jeans that I picked out for you.’
‘Touché, sweetheart,’ he grunts and presses a kiss to your forehead. Glancing down at the unmistakable wet patch on the denim, he asks hopefully, ‘Any chance you got some pants I can borrow?’
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Ellie bounces her leg irritably, hunched over on the stairs exactly where Joel was sitting this morning. Where the fuck is he? He’s twenty minutes late, and he had the nerve to get all huffy when she lied about the start time today. Unbelievable.
Moodily looking left and right, there’s still no sign of him. She’s about to give up and wait for him at home when something conspicuously purple comes to a stop in front of her. 
Her jaw hits the floor.
‘Oh. My. God.’
She’s never been high before, but she’s pretty sure this is the stuff hallucinations are made of.
This being Joel Miller in a purple tshirt with a tacky logo she doesn’t recognise printed on the front and khaki cargo shorts that cut off at the knees, holding a basket of vegetables that she’s pretty sure he doesn’t eat.
With a roll of his eyes, he snaps, ‘Shut your mouth, you’re trappin’ flies.’
Pasting on the most obnoxious grin she can muster, Ellie croons, ‘Man, don’t you look pretty.’
Turning on his heel, Joel starts walking without looking back. ‘Shut up.’
Jogging to keep up, she cackles, ‘Hey, did you fall into a wormhole and went shopping at a farmer’s market in 1999?’
‘Shut up.’
‘You really should wear shorts more often, y’know, show off those knees. And purple really is your colour, Barney!’
Joel frowns, shooting her a sidelong glare. ‘How the hell do you know who Barney is?’
Ellie shrugs. ‘What do you think they teach us at school?’
He’s the one who starts it. The quake in his shoulders would have been imperceptible to anyone else, but nowadays, there’s not much that he can hide from her. As usual, she giggles first, which trails into a squeal when Joel gives her a shove on the back, sending her stumbling over her shoes.
‘Fuck you, man!’ she snickers and basically rugby tackles him, but he barely budges, lips pulling back into a toothy grin. 
Across the street, unbeknownst to the pair, Tommy smiles to himself as he watches his big brother laugh, really laugh - the kind that has him doubling over and gasping for air through watery eyes. For the first time since the world ended, he looks up at the sky with a reassuring nod, and he knows deep down - Joel will be just fine.
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Notes: You guys continue to blow me away with your support - I cannot be more grateful for all the reblogs, asks and interaction with my silly Behind the Seams posts and random updates. Thank you so so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I can't wait to hear what you think ❤️
I will be having a think over the next few weeks about where Seams will go from here. This chapter wraps up the first mini story arc, and I'll be dedicating August to wrapping up my Palomino series, so it will give me some time and distance to mull over what's next for Joel and Pin. I'm also a few followers away from a big milestone, so I might have something fun planned! 🥰
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rosie-writings · 2 months
Text
Where Delicate Stops
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Request: anon—I need more Sub!Colby my life depends on it
Summary: The tension in your friends with benefits relationship with Colby escalates into a massive blowup when he won’t admit that he is yours and you are his.
Warnings: Angst, Alcohol, Colby x Reader smut, Sub Colby, Dom Reader, Overstimulation, Bondage, Subspace, Squirting, Unprotected sex
Words: 8.3k
No Y/N Used
Title is from ‘Jaws’ by Sleep Token
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Perhaps my downfall began the moment I agreed to playing friends with benefits with Colby about eight months ago after he agreed to pretend to be my boyfriend to protect me from an ex-boyfriend—
It wasn’t until it inevitably blew up in my face that I realized it was a bad decision.
Now, should I have anticipated it? Yes.
Should I have prepared for my fragile heart to become completely and utterly obsessed with him in every way? Also yes.
Instead, I pretended like I was a brick wall even though I knew it felt like my knees were stuffed with cotton after having less than seven hours of sleep at night. Maybe I had a bedtime now, and maybe I couldn’t wear jeans in the summer, but we all get old.
I didn’t realize that having a numbingly tender heart was another side effect of it as well.
Or maybe it was all Colby’s fault and none of mine.
After our previously twice a month cavorts in Colby’s bed, never mine, I left quickly. It became difficult for me to look at Sam in the eyes once he found out what Colby and I got up to behind closed doors. It put a stall in our friendship, and the dynamic was too unbalanced. I had never seen Sam so confrontational. After we communicated and I realized that Sam didn’t care as long as we would all still be friends in the end, these meet up happened once a week rather than twice a month.
Blame it on our relief of not having to sneak around anymore, or blame it on Sam like I found most appealing. The concept of Colby’s routine friends with benefits situation being Sam’s fault was too funny for me to not pass up on.
Until the first flutter happened.
The worst part was, we weren’t even in bed.
I remembered that afternoon nearly every day since, and I tried to use every flaming toxic thought to incinerate the butterflies that were born in my stomach that sunny day. God, it was so hot. Mid July in Las Vegas wasn’t forgiving, I learned that much.
What I also learned that day was when Colby spoke with this warmth—an ardor he only had when it was about particular topics that were closely personal to him—something deep and fiery ignited in me. 
I didn’t think much of it at first, but as the night settled and we had drinks under starlight on the patio of that club in the sky, I realized that blue eyes could reflect starlight too.
I laid myself down in my bed that night a bit too aggressively in order to knock the thoughts out of my pounding pre-hangover. It wasn’t enough. With every second, hour, and day, I thought of Colby more and more.
And the worst part was that it was in a new kind of way.
Definitely not a friends with benefits kind of way.
Not a friendly kind of way.
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My legs were still quivering from last night. 
Before I opened my eyes, I knew I’d feel it. It was rare that I pushed and pushed Colby enough for him to actually lose control and ruin my chances at having a fully productive day the next. I cramped as I rolled over and tried to grab my phone off my table.
My phone wasn’t on the table.
In fact, my table was in the wrong place completely. 
I opened my eyes and adjusted to a brighter lighting that my bedroom never had in the morning. I had west facing windows. 
The sheets were too soft and dark and—
I sat up straight.
Colby lay asleep next to me. My heart pounded behind my bruised ribs and I sat frozen in uncertainty. What was I supposed to do? I broke one of our rules; one of our—if not, the—most important rule in this arrangement.
We weren’t supposed to stay overnight.
Better yet, that morphed into I wasn’t supposed to stay the night. I was always allowed to stay for as long as I wanted in their house, but between Colby and I, I was only allowed to sleep in an extra room. Not his bed.
And then, it happened again.
My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him there. He looked well rested; far from the stressed out shell of himself he was yesterday afternoon. His hair was messy and pushed back across the pillows. Then my eyes caught the few streaks of red on his back, his sides. 
My already parched throat clamped shut when I realized those were marks from my nails. I remembered doing that; I didn’t think I held onto him that hard. Then he stirred.
I looked away, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what time it was or where my phone was, I didn’t know if he would be upset—
“Hey,” a sweet half awake voice said. I looked at him on reflex. He hardly opened his eyes. It looked like he saw me once and then closed them in fear of the burning morning light.
Then his arms were out and one settled around me. He pulled me in, but on impulse, I pulled back.
When I fought him and tried to sit up straight, he went rigid. 
A tension fell over the room and I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know if I could speak yet, for that matter. 
“Come here,” he sighed with a heaviness that conveyed more to me than just those words.
He knew we were breaking a rule, but he didn’t care.
I didn’t move.
How could I move? If I laid myself down into him, I would stress my heart out. If I got out of bed, it would feel brittle. Hostile, almost. 
Colby sighed. 
“Colby,” I gasped without thinking. “We—I didn’t mean—“
”Yeah,” he cut me off. I was taken back by his sudden firm tone. I looked at him. He avoided eye contact with me with a darkness in his eyes. 
”What? Why are you upset?”
”I’m not.”
I scoffed.
”What’s wrong with you?” That accusatory tone welled anger inside of me. Mixed with the butterflies and the confusion, I wanted to cry.
“We—I literally—are you okay?”
”Well I thought I was.” 
I got out of bed with a sigh.
”What are you doing?” He gasped as he sat up.
”Colby!” I exasperated as I grabbed my clothes off the floor. “I stayed overnight!”
”I can see that.”
”Isn’t that—“ I heaved my bra on. “It’s that something you definitely didn't want to happen.”
“I mean, not particularly, I guess—“
”Then I’m leaving.”
”You don’t have to,” he rushed. I looked at him as my shirt fell over my body. His eyes called for me with a longing I wanted nothing more than to dive straight in to. Instead, I pulled my jeans over my aching hips. I noticed the way his eyes scanned the bruises in between the legs and on my hips and neck. 
“I have to. We broke a rule.”
”How important are the rules anyway?” 
I stood speechless as we stared each other down. 
“You literally demanded that I leave on night even when we were drunk and I couldn’t drive. You said that only Sam was allowed to know, so when my best friend accidentally found out because we both know how bad of a liar I am, you were so mad at me you didn’t touch me for two months. You said that—“
”I get it,” he spat. “Alright. I get it.”
”So when it’s my turn to uphold our stupid rules, suddenly they don’t matter? All because you feel like breaking them?”
”You think I want to break them?” He scoffed. My eyes widened. “It’s not my fault you fell asleep in a bed that’s not yours.”
Heat blazed through my mouth, down my throat, and to my heart.
”Considering I’m fucking you in your bed more often than even you sleep in it, I’d say it’s just as much mine as it is yours.”
He grumbled my name. I knew that tone; he rolled his eyes with it. I passed the foot of his bed and reached for the door handle. 
“Don’t come in here for like a month.” I scoffed. It nearly turned into a laugh. I whirled around to face him.
”Yeah, as if you could last that long. At this point, it seems like you need me or something. Maybe you should be more grateful that one of your best friends even puts up with your bullshit like I do.”
I slammed the door on my way out. 
And if I sobbed in my car all the way home, there was no one to witness it.
Two days later, my best friend told me I needed to get out of bed for myself or else she would yank me out and force me out of the house herself.
Regardless, I would be crying and pissed off, so I got out of bed.
In my eyes, I was pathetic. With every hour that passed without a word from Colby, my heart ached more and more. It wasn’t like he kicked me out of his life.
He kicked me out of his bed, and it wasn’t even permanent. I wasn’t even supposed to be in his bed anyway. This butterflies turned into a family of butterflies over time, so I assumed that my lack of self control was to blame.
If only I didn’t let my heart run too far from me and into Colby’s arms.
I’d be pissed too. Maybe he knew. Maybe he slowly caught on to the fact that when he kissed me—only while he was buried inside of me, of course, we weren’t allowed to kiss outside of sex—I always kissed him back twice as hard. Maybe he caught on to the fact that when he edged the tears out of my bleary eyes, they were called by unrequited love rather than his harsh hands.
Was it even love at this point?
If I didn’t love him, I would have taken a shot and moved on once after a good drunk cry.
The last meal I had was with him.
”Literally—“ I sat on the bathroom counter and leaned against the mirror with wet trails down my face. “You’re an idiot. But we know that. We also know that Colby’s an idiot so this could work out.” I glared at my best friend as she dabbed my face with a cotton ball. My tears smeared the foundation work she did.
”So what you’re saying is he could either want me or never want to see me again.”
With enthusiasm, she nodded her head with a smile. 
“I hate you.”
”Come on,” she said and popped my thigh lightly. “You look great. We’re going to be late anyway.”
”Like usual,” I sighed. She grabbed my wrist and yanked me out of the bathroom.
The club was louder than usual.
Hotter.
I couldn’t tell if the sun was five degrees closer to this exact point on Earth or if a darkness hung over the ambient fog as a mirror. My arm already linked in hers, my best friend b-lined for the bar. Two shots down and a drink in hand, we seeked our friends out. They already had a table. 
“Look who decided to show up!” I turned to Tara when her arms flooded around me like a blanket. “I can’t believe it’s been like what, three days now? I was concerned I wasn’t going to see you before I went home.”
”Thankfully I could make it,” I sighed and our conversations fell into motion.
The elephant in my head was screaming.
”Where’s Sam and Colby?” My best friend asked first.
”I don’t know,” Jake said. His eyes scanned the club. At least they were here. “They went off after a few shots.” 
“You guys want to?” She pressed on, and I waited for everyone else’s answer to decide for myself.
Did I want to?
I didn’t know if I fully wanted to see what the two were getting up to.
”Actually sure,” Johnnie was first to speak up. Jake agreed, and when it seemed like everyone else was on board, I too followed them.
With weak knees, sure, I followed them nonetheless.
The bass in my bones was appreciated.
My best friend’s arm was a crutch as we followed our friends and danced in a sea of drunk people who wouldn’t remember the way I was on the verge of tears anyway. 
Time slipped away from me and that was how I knew I was drunk. 
Colby wasn't on my mind anymore; I had forgotten we even went looking for the two anyway. As we danced, the tension was relieved from my body, and my best friend, Tara and I merged with the crowd and shuffled with them. We took another shot. More dancing. More singing. More laughing. 
And the world paused. 
Oh, it's Colby— my drunk mind happily thought as if I hadn't been heartbroken by him and as if we hadn't just been looking for him. Then I noticed the brunette against him. 
His hands were on her hips, his tongue practically down her throat, and I couldn't blink away the image of them there grinding against each other. The only thing I could think was how ridiculous they looked together because she was obscenely small. 
She might have been as big as Tara; might. 
Before soberness truly settled in, I acted on impulse and darted straight for them. My eyes were on him, not her, him. The familiar skin, familiar soft hair. 
She didn't know the difference between his footsteps and Sam’s. 
I grabbed her by the arm and flung her off of him. From the sheer velocity her body wrought passed me, I must have been significantly bigger than her. Sure, I was taller, but I could dunk her in a pool fully clothed and lift her out of it by her shoulders.
Colby looked at me with emotionlessly dark eyes. 
I stood my ground in front of him confidently without breaking the stare. Not even to blink. 
Then, his hands lifted, grabbed my face, and he kissed me.
I was fluent in the movement of his mouth and body against mine. I could identify his taste out of a pool of other people. I knew him by his hands alone. But I didn’t know this feeling. I didn’t know these sensations; the ones that mimicked the swarm of butterflies that infected my stomach when he was simply near me. 
I could have made an embarrassing noise, but the music drowned it out. Only he felt it, and it made him taste me deeper. I grabbed him and pulled him closer. One of his arms draped around my waist and the next thing I knew, my body was flush with his.
I thought I knew anger, but when I felt how hard he was against me already, anger I hadn’t met before seeped into my veins. 
I pulled away from him. A look must have contorted across my face, because he flinched and broke the stare. His eyes fluttered quickly, and I couldn’t choose between leaving him there or getting on my knees in front of the whole club.
This anger must have been jealousy, because only my hands were allowed to touch him for all these months. 
“If you need me,” I said with a quiet venom that tasted all too sweet. “I’ll be in our bed.”
And I turned on my heel and left the club.
My best friend and I lived in the same apartment complex deliberately within walking distance of our favorite strip of clubs. Before I exited, a hand grabbed my elbow. I spun as if I were actually prepared to hit Colby in the face, but my best friend stared back at me in shock.
”What the fuck is happening?”
”I’m running home then I’m going to Colby’s. Don’t wait up for me.” Knowing she would get the details in the late noon, she turned and left.
It was at most, 30 minutes later when I stepped foot in their house. Of course I knew the code.
I ordered the Uber when I saw my apartment in the distance. I changed clothes, tossed a bag together, and waited outside in the humid night for this ride straight to Sam and Colby’s house.
I didn’t even care that Sam had no warning. I didn’t care that Colby and I didn’t discuss this at first.
The numbness I felt was incomprehensible, and under it was a lake of fiery rage. I didn’t have a plan, but I knew that when I saw Colby walk into his bedroom that night it would come to me.
I lay myself down on his bed.
The room was dark aside from the orange glow from the bedside table. His silk sheets were cool against my body, and I almost fell asleep. The silence of the house cooled my temper, and the light spinning of the overhead fan lulled me to comfortable relaxation.
I only wore the white t-shirt I came here in. My gray sweatpants were on the floor. 
He could find out what I wore underneath later.
I was almost asleep. The stillness called me until I forgot about where I was.
Until the shrill of the front door pounced me awake. I lay still as could be. I heard the familiar voices—they were alone—and then footsteps. It wasn’t Colby; the closing of a door.
I waited. Then I realized, what if Colby wasn’t coming upstairs? It was hard for me to find someone who matched my pettiness, but Colby outdid me sometimes.
Then the door opened and closed again.
Then voices.
Then the front door.
Oh.
Colby and I were alone now. Unless he left with Sam. Unless this all was—
His bedroom door opened.
My eyes met his; hazy with alcohol but significantly sobered since the last time I saw them. I sat up to my elbows. Colby didn't know what to say. I think he was just as caught off guard by our actions tonight as I was.
“Come here,” I said. My voice hardly broke a whisper, but it did. He slipped out of his shoes as he crawled onto the bed and sat in front of me. The moment I saw that look in those eyes, the plan came to me.
He sucked in a startled breath when I kissed him. He kissed me back. We were on the right track. 
I held his face and licked into his mouth and he hummed as his hands trailed from my sides up my back. I straddled him and was pleased when he didn’t fight it. He didn’t fight. He didn’t even try to win dominance and taste me for himself. 
So when I laced my fingers with his jacket and shrugged it off of him, he not only conceded but also pulled his shirt off as well. My heart thrashed against my ribs as I kissed him. I caught my breath before I kissed down his neck. He didn’t speak, and I allowed his hands to feel me. 
The moment his hands went under my shirt, I backed away.
”Lay down,” I said. He hesitated. I knew he would put up a fight, so this sweet demeanor on my tongue had to last. “Please,” I sighed.
He caved, and when he lay down, I straddled him. 
“Oh my god—“ he gasped when I leaned down and kissed him. My hands tore across his skin. I made sure there wasn’t an inch of it missed. My nails trailed down his sides, his arms, and wrists before I latched onto his hands. 
Then, he thrusted his hips up into me.
”Fuck—“ He moaned when I interlaced our fingers and pinned his hands on either side of his head. I rolled my hips against his. 
When his eyes rolled back, I flickered my gaze to the handcuffs. 
I could not risk a miscalculation.
Without hesitation, I dragged his right hand up, grabbed the cuff and clicked it tightly around his wrist.
“What—“ He gasped, his voice breaking from the shock. Chilling vibrations cut through the center of me, and my hands shook as they wrestled with him. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
”Giving you what you deserve.”
I got off of him.
”I swear to god—no. Grab the key, now—“
”Mm, you never told me where you keep it, unfortunately.” The abrasive mess in which he said my name gutted me with fear, but what could he do?
His right hand was handcuffed above his head. 
Yes, Colby still had his left hand free, but if I wanted to get away from him, I could.
I had the power. Now, though, I had to figure out how to get his other hand locked up. 
Colby laughed.
”Um, no? It’s in the fucking drawer,” his head tossed towards his table next to the bed. “Get the key.”
”No,” I said firmly. I sat in front of him on my knees. 
“Get the fucking key, now. Unlock me.”
”No,” I said with a laugh. “You pissed me the fuck off. I think I should give you what I’ve been wanting to for so long.”
”Yeah?” He laughed. That flare of anger in his eyes made my stomach flip over itself. “And what’s that?”
”A taste of your own medicine. I’m a firm believer that you should at least know what it feels like to be treated the same way you treat someone else.” He scoffed.
”You cannot think that you can make me lose myself like I make you. You’re such a brainless mess after I had my way with you.”
”Is that a challenge?”
”What? No it’s—“
”It’s sounding like you’re giving yourself away, Colby,” I sighed and dropped my head to the side. His eyes softened as he watched my hair fall over my shoulder. “Challenging me kind of sounds like you want it.”
”I don’t want anything except for you to unlock me.”
”And what would you do to me if I did?’
”I’d tie you up and make you cum over and over until you’re crying saying you’re sorry and reminding yourself that you’re mine and mine only.”
”Oh,” I gasped. He stared blankly at my faux realization. “Thank you for the ideas, that doesn’t sound too bad now, does it?”
He said my name with finality; a warning.
I climbed over him and reached his table. But then his left hand came up and grabbed my side so rough that I yelled.
”Colby!” I screamed and slapped his arm.
”Come here,” he demanded. We wrestle until I finally bent his arm back and pinned it down with my knee. He lost all leverage. “You’re in so much trouble once I’m free.”
”Pf yeah,” I scoffed with a laugh. “If you can even speak when I free you.” His hand curled up and he scratched his nails into my skin. I gasped and pinned his hand down tightly. He dragged in a cold breath with a gasp. ”You made me bleed!” I yelled. He looked at me with wide eyes that broke from our playful banter. At least I thought it was playful; honestly, I was being dead serious and by the roughness he handled me with, I assumed he was being serious as well.
“Now,” I started again. “Be good and let me get stuff.” He laughed at me. “Colby,” I demanded and dug my thumb into the tendons of his wrist.
”Hey!” He cried in pain and tried to drag his hand back.
”You’re going to be good for me, right?” His eyes shined darkly up at me as if he were a child throwing a fit over being grounded. “Colby,” I groaned his name through gritted teeth.
Then, his eyes widened when I straddled him.
Immediately, his free hand came up and held my hip. The sweetness didn’t last long; he slapped my ass harshly and then dug his nails into the flesh until it too probably bled.
”Colby!” I shouted at him, and my hand found his throat.
He looked up at me in shock, and I stared down with an evil ever growing smile.
”Get the fuck off of me.”
”No,” I spat back. I squeezed. He closed his eyes once then opened again.
He said my name again with a grit on the end.
”I said no!” And I choked him harder. He sucked in an uneven breath. 
His grip on my hip didn’t hurt anymore.
”Now give me your other hand.”
This time, he didn’t say anything, he simply shook his head.
”Be good for me and give me your other hand. I can’t trust that you won’t try to stop me from giving you what you deserve.” He opened his eyes. 
They were hazier.
”And what do you think I deserve?” 
“Everything you’ve given me.” He laughed again.
”I’d like to see you try.
And his other hand raised up and lay down above his head. 
I essentially gawked at him, but didn’t lose the chance. Quickly, I wrapped the cuff around his wrist and I looked down to his eyes when they clicked tightly shut. He stared up at me in anticipation, and after I finally dragged myself out from drowning in his eyes, I got off of him.
”What? No come back—“
”Don’t tell me what to do. Do you allow me to give orders?” 
“No but giving orders isn’t your job.” I scoffed as I looked through the stash of toys we had in his drawer. 
“Says the person locked to the bed.”
”Oh my fucking god,” he grumbled deeply. I grabbed what I wanted and came back. “I’m going to tear you apart when you’re done.”
”I bet,” I laughed.
”What the fuck are you doing with those?” I didn’t respond as I left the fleshlight and vibrator on the bed next to us. He sucked in a breath as I unbuttoned his pants.
We knew. 
It was too obvious. 
He should have been grateful I didn’t make a remark from how painfully hard he was in his jeans already. 
But then—
But then I decided that I really couldn’t lose this moment in teasing him.
”So was it the fact that you’re handcuffed to the bed or the fact that I choked you that you’re already hard as fuck?” He gasped my name.
”Shut the fuck up.”
”No, no, I asked you a question.” I didn’t know where the sudden string of confidence came from, but I basked in it. I hovered over him like he would hover over me, and his eyes were dark with anger. “You answer my questions, Colby.”
”That was a stupid question.”
”If I said that to you, what would I deserve?” 
“I would slap you and then, well, you wouldn’t deserve to cum—“
His words were hardly out of his mouth before I slapped him. 
I smiled widely as his eyes widened in shock before they melted into a deeper anger. My hand lowered to his throat and I tightened like he would frequently tighten his hand around me.
“Thank you so much for all the ideas, you really are insightful.”
”Wait—“ I cut him off with a kiss. He kissed me back furiously, and my own head grew fuzzy from the way he pushed his tongue in my mouth and tasted me like he hadn’t been able to for years. I pulled away and his head collapsed back to the pillow with a pitiful groan. 
“You’re ridiculous,” I sighed as I kissed down his neck.
”How?” He asked. His voice wavered. I knew all his ticks; I knew that kissing down his neck and chest made him feel as light and fuzzy as it made me when he locked me up. 
“You’re acting like I haven’t allowed you to touch me for years.”
”Yeah it’s basically the same thing.” I laughed as I kissed over his chest and chills raced down his body in the wake of my breath. 
“You fucked the shit out of me three nights ago, Colby.” I knew he hated it when I talked to him like this; confident jeers laced with spite. 
“Oh fuck—“ He moaned when I rolled my hips with his. I too sucked in a fast breath because the friction of his jeans against my thin soaked underwear caught me off guard. I kissed down his skin and left love bites wherever I pleased. Each time I sucked and bit his skin and broke his evenly toned skin with blue and purple bruises, he shuddered and moaned.
I didn’t tease him for it in fear that he would conceal them.
Then my mouth reached his pantline. He gasped my name.
There it was. 
There was a different tone in his voice. A breathiness; a desperation. I looked up at him. His head was tossed back and he must have felt my stare because he looked straight at me.
”What? What’s wrong?” I teased. He shook his head and rolled his eyes.
”You’re the one being ridiculous now.”
”Oh am I?” 
“Yes,” he gritted his teeth. He pushed his head against his arm. 
“How am I being ridiculous now?”
”You know.”
”I don’t know anything,” I sighed and shook my head. My fingertips still invaded his underwear and slid across the skin that was indented from the band. 
His breathing was deeper now.
”Tell me what you want.”
”I don’t want anything.” I almost laughed out loud at that lie. The biggest lie. His eyes were nearly glazed over and his breathing was deep and uneven. When I moved over the front of his jeans, his hips ever so slightly thrusted up at me.
”You are such a liar,” I laughed. “Now tell me what you want.”
”I don’t—“
”I will do this all fucking night, Colby, so tell me what you want, now.” His eyes stared down at me widely, emotionlessly. He believed me. He bit his lip in thought. “Seriously, I will keep you here like this. You’re so hard already I know you have to cum to make it go away. So are you able to cum like this? With no one touching y—“
”Okay! Just-Just take off my pants.” I smiled down at him.
”You want me to take off your pants?”
”Yes.”
”What do you say?” A glare shot up in my direction. “You should be fluent in how to politely ask questions, right? Since you’ve trained me so well to be polite.” A loud gasp shot through his mouth when I pushed a knee down over his arousal. 
“Fuck—“ He cried and tossed his head back.
”Ask me nicely for what you want and maybe I’ll give it to you.”
”Please.” 
The word was so incredibly subtle but it was there.
”What did you say? I didn’t hear you.”
”I said please,” he groaned louder.
”Please what?” That fiery gaze behind his eyes almost made me tremble.
���Take off my pants, please.”
”Mm-hm…” I hummed. I watched as he tensed from where my fingers lightly traced across his body. “That was shit. Ask again.”
”I swear to god—What do you want from me?”
”You know exactly what I want from you,” I spat as I lowered my face to his. He tried to lift up and kiss me but he couldn’t reach. “Now ask me nicely or I will get up and leave you here.”
”I already asked—“ My hand pinned his throat down to the bed.
”Try again.”
He moaned my name.
”That’s not what I’m asking—“
”Oh shit—please,” he moaned. This time it was real. His eyes closed with pleasure as I lowered my weight on his jeans. My other hand touched every inch of his skin and dipped below the waistband of his pants. I knew it was evil, but I pushed him further and further. 
“Please what?”
”Can you please take off my pants? Please?” 
Butterflies erupted in my stomach when his voice softened with yearning. A want so deep; I knew how that felt. That was a true desperation that I had never heard from him before.
”Oh my god,” I whispered. “You sound so nice,” I praised. 
This time when I kissed down his body, I unzipped his pants. Uneven breaths were my only response as I slowly pulled the black denim off. My own heart raced and my own skin caught on fire when he was free from them. His head met the pillow and every time I looked up to his face, I caught his eyes fluttering shut more often than not.
“Holy shit,” he moaned freely. I looked down in between us. I grinded down on him and I too almost lost myself in the pleasure. He was so hot and wet against me that even though we both were underwear, could I even call this dry humping? I moved against him tighter, and this time, he fucked his hips up into mine.
”Fuck, Colby—“ I accidentally moaned.
And that woke him up.
He looked up at me with that haze gone from his eyes. Anger dwelled there now, and he looked down in between us where I continuously rocked.
”What, does it feel so good now that you’re already losing that fake dominance? I know you’re already losing it; you’ve been pretending to not freak out this entire time—oh shit.”
I didn’t waste a second more. I yanked his underwear down and pulled him free from the rough confines. His head rolled and I watched as his lips parted. He fought it. I knew he did; he fought expressing how relieving it felt.
”What were you saying?” I teased brightly. He tried to fight it still. Then his eyes rolled back.
”Oh my god,” he moaned, and I smiled as I stroked him slowly. Painfully, infuriatingly slowly. “Stop. Just—“
”Okay.” 
And I dropped him.
”No, I mean stop teasing. Holy shit, just touch me.”
”That was mean,” I gasped. “If you really wanted it, you would beg for it.” 
“Shut the hell up.” He didn't laugh. He slowly lost it; it was too evident. I knew that when he laughed that was when my metaphorical tail shoved between my legs. But this faux anger? 
Colby was slowly breaking.
”I don't think I will. I think you should nicely ask me for what you want and then I will give it to you.”
He warned me with my name on his wet lips.
”Colby, be good for me and ask sweetly.”
”Please,” he grumbled. His hair spread across the pillow in frustration. “Please touch me.” He immediately choked on moans when I stroked him tightly. My hand was firmer than he liked and I moved so quickly that his eyes snapped closed. “Oh my god, oh my god, that’s—holy shit—that’s too much—oh fuck!”
”Is it? I thought you wanted me to touch you.” 
“Oh fuck—“ I watched as his chest rose up and down quickly. “Please—“
My stomach fell out of its place.
I didn’t ask for him to say that please.
”I’m sorry what?” I gasped.
He moaned my name. I quickened my pace. His stomach tensed and he lurched forward.
”Please!” He almost shouted.
”Please what?” I asked.
”I’m—oh my god—you’re going too fast.”
”How am I going too fast?” My voice was calm even though a storm lay behind my eyes. 
“I’m-I’m—oh my god—I’m gonna cum.”
”Yeah?” I pitifully laughed as my eyes watched his every move, every breath. He didn’t need to use words to communicate with me. 
His chest rose and fell, his wrists yanked at the cuffs, and his hips thrusted up into my hand. He sucked in a harsh breath and—
“No,” he gasped when I dropped him again. I sat back up and allowed his fiery eyes to rake over my body. 
I took off my shirt and I swear he stopped breathing. Then he rolled his eyes back and laid his head on the pillow. 
The lace of my bra matched my underwear; he knew what that meant.
”What’s wrong?” I teased. An airy tone lodged itself on my tongue and I couldn’t help but smile at his recoiling body. “Did you finally figure out that this is what I planned to do all along?”
”You’re such a bitch,” he whined.
”I am?” I gasped. I leaned over him and grabbed his face with a hand. His wide eyes stared up at me. “You’re the one who thought it was a good idea to make out with that random bitch! You-You—after literally fucking everything too?” My voice was loud and I shoved his head back down. When I stood back on my knees again, he looked at me with a sort of desperation in his eyes that I hadn’t seen before. “God knows what you did to her! You get her number? Did you touch her? If it weren’t for me, you probably would have fucked her tonight, wouldn’t you?”
”No—“
”Don’t lie to me!” My voice made him flinch. He moaned my name. “I’m serious! You are so goddamn confusing and selfish, Colby! I wanted you so bad and that’s how you repay me?”
”No it’s-it’s not—“
”Then why would you do it?” I asked. 
His body lurched forward when I grabbed him and stroked him quickly. He moaned my name again and I wanted to bask in the beautiful sound, but I couldnt. 
”Tell me!”
”Because—oh shit!”
”Colby!” I grabbed his hip with my other hand and left bloody crescent moons.
”Fuck! I’m—holy shit, please—I’m going to cum—“
”And I’m not stopping until you tell me—Actually,” I sighed as I remembered the toys on the bed. I grabbed the fleshlight.
”Fuck no, I’m—oh my fucking god—!”
”Why did you do that to me, hm?” I asked as I abrasively stoked him with the toy. His eyes rolled back and his body writhed under me. His moans were rough and he muttered incoherent words. “Colby?”
”Because—“ He gasped. He tried to bring his head up, but he couldn’t keep still and rested it against his arm.
”Tell me, now,” I spat. He looked up at me.
His eyes were glossy and a haze filled them again, only this time, his mouth spouted incoherent words endlessly.
”Colby—“
”I’m coming—“
”Fucking tell me,” I doubled down. 
The second his eyes snapped shut and lips parted to elicit the prettiest moans I ever heard, I watched as I stroked him through his orgasm. My heart stammered in my chest when I watched his cum streak from the end of the silicon. I dragged in a breath so that I wouldn’t cave—so that I wouldn’t moan—and I focused on the pain in my heart as his cum poured onto his skin and all over my hand and the toy.
”Stop,” he gasped breathlessly.
”Not until you tell me why you would do that to me.”
He said my name. His voice broke at the end.
”Colby,” I gritted my teeth. “Tell me why you thought it would be already with you breaking my heart like that.”
”I didn’t—oh my fucking god, please!” His voice was loud; it reverberated in my bones.
”You did!” I squeezed harder and this time, his body reeled against itself. His legs kicked out and he tried to push me away. “You kissed her, shit, you probably were going to fuck her too!”
”I fucking wasn’t! I didn’t!” He screamed. Tears welled in his eyes. 
“Okay, then why did you flirt—“
”I wanted you!” My heart stop. “Fuck, please! Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I didn’t-didn’t kiss or fuck anyone! I needed you, want you so bad, but you didn’t-didn’t want me so-so I thought—“
”You thought making out with someone else was the right thing?” I gasped. Tears fell down his face now.
”Yes!” He cried. “Because then I can get ov-over you—you didn’t want-want me!” I slowed down my movements.
”Col-Colby,” I stuttered quietly. “You can safeword.”
And he laughed.
Heat boiled under my skin—something akin to humiliation—and so I grabbed the vibrator and turned it on.
“Holy shit—“ I cut his moan off by pushing the vibrator against his tip.
”You’re such an asshole, Jesus Christ,” I groaned. He writhed against the sheets as his wrists must have been bruises from the cuffs.
”Please,” he whined at that point, and I stroked him with a steady pace.
”So mean to me,” I sighed. “I like you Colby, Jesus Christ I like you so much; you’re all I wanted for so long, and you’re an idiot enough to make me jealous to get with me?”
“I’m sorry, please—”
”You can safewor—“
”No,” he cut me off. “No just-just please just…”
”Just what, baby?” I asked sweetly. He moaned loudly again.
”Fuck fuck fuck, I’m—holy shit!” I looked down at my work on him. My hand still stroked him with the clear silicon and my own teal vibrator buzzed him to the highest point of overstimulation. Fuck, he was so incredibly flushed red and purple; I didn’t know how much more he could handle and he was clearly too arrogant to safeword.
”Tell me, tell me now, Colby. What’s wrong?” He groaned as he tugged on the cuffs more and more. 
He wouldn’t stop chanting expletives so I stroked him faster and faster—
“Holy shit,” I gasped as quick and faint clear spurts came from him. “What the fuck; did you squirt for me, baby? Have you even done that before?” He choked on nothing as words left him. He still squirmed away from me, and while he wasn’t quite where I needed him yet, at least he couldn’t speak anymore. “You’re so fucking hot for as stupid as you are,” I said before I leaned over and kissed down his skin again. His shook timidly with every passing of my lips and breath, and when I reached the mess he made on his lower stomach, I licked it up and he moaned and tried to thrust his hips up.
”More?” I gasped. “You want more?”
”No! Please, no. No way.”
”Oh, so you still can speak?” He glared up at me and that was when I noticed it.
He didn’t pull at the cuffs anymore.
I took the vibrator off of him. He slumped back as deep breaths filled his burning lungs.
And when I took the fleshlight off of him, he relaxed so deeply that I thought he would pass out. Until I straddled him.
He gasped and looked up at me. I watched as my hands touched him, teased him, and I ground myself down on him. I knew he hardly had anything left of him; his head fell back immediately and bright eyes rolled back.
I didn’t care though. He didn’t meet his breaking point yet. So took my underwear off over him and he watched me hazily. His eyes didn’t leave my body, especially not when my aching arousal was right in front of him.
”What?” I asked with a slight laugh in my tone. He finally looked at my eyes. “Do you really not want to fuck me now?”
He moaned my name.
”You don’t?”
”Fuck,” he gasped. “Want it so bad.”
”What do you want?” He rolled his eyes with a moan. It turned into a gasp when I grinded down on him. It took everything in me to not melt from the way his body mended with mine. Our fluids mixed and he was so wet already and slightly less hard than usual; I almost sank down on him by accident multiple times.
”Please,” he whined.
”Please what?”
”Just want you,” he said through gritted teeth like it was a challenge.
”What do you want me to do?” I shot back.
”Fuck me,” he finally whispered. My head cocked to the side as if I misheard him.
”I’m sorry what?” I slid against him again and his head met the pillows. 
“Oh my fucking god, please! Fuck me, please fuck me. I need you so bad. Just fuck—oh fuck!” I pushed myself down on him, and I gasped when I finally was full. 
“Holy shit Colby,” rushed out of my mouth so fast that I let go of the dominance for a second. I rocked my hips lazily as if I tried to gather my bearings; as if I was the one edged and overstimulated to hell and back. “You feel so damn good oh fuck.” 
Rivers of moans flowed from him and I drank all of them up. I moved faster and faster until we both were sweaty and breathless. The way he looked up at me through hazy eyes and wordless moans pulled me in and I couldn’t resist. I brought myself down and kissed him, and oh, he kissed me back like it was the first and last time he could.
He licked into my mouth and I allowed it; I didn’t fight for more dominance. I didn’t know how to, not when he felt this unbelievable. 
“Shit—“ He gasped against my lips.
”What?” I whispered when I pulled back. 
“Close,” he whispered too.
”Already?” I teased. “You’re going to cum again for me?” He nodded quickly and I pressed him back down to the pillow with my hand around his throat. 
“Yes,” he choked when I squeezed tightly. “I’m so—oh shit—so close!” He whined and I kept moving even as I knew my own orgasm was just as close. 
“Yeah baby? Are you going to be so good for me and fill me with your cum?” He nodded quickly.
”Yes, please. Fuck, you feel so good.” I smiled down at him and I retracted my hand from his throat. He moaned freely and lay on the bed without tension. God, I loved it. I understood now how he loved the thrill of being in control.
I couldn’t get over the sight of his lax body on the bed and lax hands in the cuffs.
I grabbed the vibrator again.
”What—“
”Shh,” I told him. I turned it on then lowered it behind me. “You’re going to cum again for me right?”
”Yes! Why—fuck,” he choked on nothing and his jaw dropped. His eyes closed tightly and I marveled at the pleasure that painted his face when I pushed the vibrator against his perineum.
”What baby?” I teased again. And he writhed again, his breath grew faster and faster.
”Coming,” he choked out once and I turned the vibrator on a higher setting.
I knew when his orgasm crashed into him again. Another loud moan pushed from him and he couldn’t open his eyes. His face still gleamed wet from the tears, and I couldn’t stop watching him even as his body shook from even more overstimulation.
”Oh my fucking god—ugh!” He practically screamed my name when I didn’t stop my movements. I watched as his fingers tangled together so he could hold onto something and he pushed his cheek into the pillow as if I was too bright of a light for him to look at.
”Fuck Colby,” I moaned as I felt it grow and grow in my stomach. “Fuck, Colby—“ I gasped again as I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t control it anymore.
He opened his eyes again and watched me when I took the vibrator away from him and pressed it against myself. Immediately when it touched me, my climax hit me violently and I fell forward and held myself up by my hand next to his raised arm.
”Fuck! Oh my god, Colby,” I moaned his name as I rode out my high. I knew he watched me breathlessly. When I opened my eyes, his were still enchanted with me. “Holy shit,” I laughed. “You made me cum so hard.” A small smile pulled at his dark lips as he caught his breath.
”Oh my god—“ I pulled off of him and he finally relaxed fully on the bed. It took a second, but when I hovered over him, his cum pooled on his lower stomach again. “Come here,” he mumbled.
”What?” I asked. “I’m right here.”
”Taste you,” he slurred his words. Taken aback, it took a second or too until I walked on my knees up to his face. My legs shook with every movement until I was over him and he raised himself up and licked me once, twice, before pressing his tongue into me.
I moaned his name and palmed at his hair until he was finished with me. He looked up at me and from that look in his eyes, I knew he would never be finished with me. He just cleaned all that he could.
I kissed him. I kissed him so sweetly that he hummed in contentment and laid himself back down in the plush bedding. I pulled away and kissed his neck a few times before looking at him.
That haze in his eyes didn’t go away yet.
He didn’t pull at the cuffs.
He didn’t say anything yet.
”Let me unlock you now,” I said and he only nodded. 
When I unlocked him, his hands dropped to the mattress and stayed there.
”Colby,” I spoke gently. “You can move now.”
”I know,” he sighed. “I need-I need um, something—a minute.”
”Yeah, I know,” I said as I traced his skin with my fingertips. I laid down at his side and cuddled into him.
”Fuck,” he laughed as he came down from his headspace. “You’re in so much trouble.” 
“Oh am I?” I laughed. He turned to me and cuddled against me.
”Yeah, so much trouble… Tomorrow though. After—“ He sighed as if he caught his breath for the first time. “After a much needed discussion.”
”Okay,” I laughed and kissed him one more time. “I’ll be in trouble tomorrow after we have our much needed discussion.”
And we held onto each other when we slept that night. 
✧˖*°࿐
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dilatorywriting · 1 year
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Monster Mayhem: Donkeys & Dragons [PART 2]
Gender Neutral Reader x Malleus Draconia Word Count: 3.1k
Summary: Everything's all fun and games until everyone assumes you're just being a Horny BardTM when you have, in fact, actually been kidnapped by a dragon.
🌶️ Obligatory Warning for Mild Spice
[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4] [EPILOGUE]
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“Wow,” Ace whistled, long and low, and you fought a twitch in your jaw.
He and Deuce were certainly beat to shit, but not quite ‘hurled dozens of feet through the air and a roof’ level of shit, so your spell must have cushioned at least a little of the fall. The pair of idiots stood at the entrance of the cavernous room, shifting back and forth on their heels and faces twisted up in varying degrees of horror. 
“I mean, I know there’s a stereotype about bards and whatever,” he continued, aghast. “But, really? Really?”
You grit your teeth. The pointed chin resting atop your head shifted and you felt claws flex at your hips.
‘My friends will probably be coming back here soon to find me,’ you’d entreated, not five-minutes prior.
‘Your friends?’ the dragon had repeated, slow, like the concept of comradery was something completely alien. And then his eyes had narrowed. ‘Ah. They intend to steal you away,’ he’d said with all the indignation of someone who’d clearly forgotten he had literally just proclaimed his intent to the do the exact same thing.
Sparks had shot out from between his teeth, and the already too-sharp black nails tipping his fingers had curled into talons—ashy darkness trailing up his arms like a seeping stain.
‘What? No,’ you’d lied. ‘They would never. I’m sure they’re just curious. Whether I’m still alive or not, I mean.’
‘Oh,’ he’d blinked, that venomous ire seeping from his gaze as if it’d never been there to begin with. ‘I suppose that does make sense.’
So when your loveable idiots had eventually stormed in—swords drawn, banners flying—you schooled your countenance into something as placid as possible. Something that perhaps conveyed ‘I would love for you guys to help me out here, but also I would really like not to see the three of us become tonight’s entrée. So like. Maybe sit this one out.’ But whatever expression you ended up making clearly wasn’t doing what you were aiming for if Ace’s first instinct was to accuse you of Horny Bard Shenanigans.
Or maybe your face wasn’t the problem. Maybe it was just the nearly seven-foot-tall, naked, dragon man draped across your shoulders. Who’s to say.
“This has nothing to do with that,” you snapped, ears burning.
“Do with what?” The newly dubbed Tsunotarou rumbled. He was pressed close enough that you could feel the worlds roll through his chest—annnnd you were going to stop yourself right there and focus very, very, intently on getting through this conversation alive.
“Human things,” you spluttered frantically.
“Ah,” he hummed, his chin shifting from the crown of your head to dip down and instead rest atop the curve of your shoulder. “You’ll have to explain it to me later, then. I do find our cultural differences very intriguing. You humans are so… new age.”
“Explain it to you later…?” Deuce frowned, and you could see the words zipping around behind his eyes to slowly put themselves together into a cohesive thought. He shot ramrod straight and whipped his arm out accusatorily. “You’re staying?!”
“Of course,” you said, with all the enthusiasm of someone with a knife held to their throat. You locked eyes as obviously as you could—hoping he’d get the message. “It’s in everyone’s best interest.”
You could see the pinched look on his face, the heavy weight of discontentment tugging at his brow. There was a war being waged in that man’s head—a battle between what lingering, frail, shreds of rationality and comprehension remained, and the desire to be a good friend and save our bard! Because mama said I should be good to my friends! You stared him down hard, silently begging, pleading, to just let it go. The fingers gripping his axe tightened and you could hear the leather of his gauntlets creak with strain. Tsunotarou hummed, something like amusement coloring the throaty rumble, and it tingled all the way from the tips of your toes to the cheek he was tucked up against. The claws at your side flexed—not deep enough to hurt, but firm enough to know that funny as the notion of a teeny, human, barbarian hurling themselves at a dragon was, it wasn’t going to be a good enough joke to earn said dragon’s mercy.
“Well, duh, you’re staying!” Ace interrupted slickly, sliding in front of Deuce and his burbling rage like a fox finally skulking from its hole. “Look at what a great new friendyou’ve made! You can’t just leave him here all on his lonesome, now can you?”
The low rumble skirting along your back melted into something that was very nearly a purr. Your eyes flickered to your captor’s face—or as much of his face as you could manage to make out, considering he had plastered himself to your side like an overgrown cat. His lips were curled back into that smug, contented, smirk—the tips of his sharp canines just barely peeked out over his bottom lip.
“We’ll come back and check on you, of course,” Ace continued. He waved his hand at the dragon, like they were old chums shooting the shit over a pint of ale in a tavern. “You know how it is. Gotta make sure they’re settling in all right—make sure you’re keeping with your honorable intentions and whatnot. How’s two weeks from now sound?”
“Two weeks?!” you wailed.
Tsunotarou grumbled, clearly also displeased. “I agree. That seems far too soon.”
“Two months?” the ginger countered easily.
“Ace!”
The dragon seemed to consider this new proposal quite thoroughly. You could feel his long lashes flick down against your cheek as his eyes went hooded, heavy—slipping back into his thoughts to ponder upon this newly proffered timeline. After a long, long, moment, he lifted himself from your neck and plonked his chin back down atop the crown of your head.
“That is acceptable.”
Deuce looked entirely unimpressed. You had a feeling you looked like you were about to shit yourself. Ace, naturally, seemed more or less content.
“Well then!” the traitor chirped. “We’ll see you when we see you then, yeah?”
You grit you teeth, but your gaze flicked to your other, kinder, friend and you bit back the slew of heinous insults brewing on your tongue. Deuce still looked more than ready to jump into the fray, consequences be damned. And you were not going to let your terrible, horrible, no-good, rotten luck end all his valiant attempts at redemption when he inevitably attempted to go toe-to-toe with the business end of a dragon.
“…Are you sure you’re gonna be alright here?” Deuce asked, face twisted up in distaste.  
There was a pissy rumble from over your shoulder.
“Do you doubt my abilities as a host?”
“Of course he doesn’t!” Ace cut in, ever the bootlicker. “And besides,” he drawled, elbowing his companion in the ribs. “You know how bards are. I’m sure this is right up their alley.” He wiggled his eyebrows and Deuce went pale—then green. Ace turned on you with a smile that was all vinegar. “Right?”
‘I should not let them be murdered horribly,’ you repeated to yourself past the crimson rage leaking into your vision. ‘I should not let them be horribly murdered—’
“Righteo!” you forced yourself to spit. And if you somehow managed to survive these next two months, you were going to string that red haired traitor up by his pinkies and feed him to the crows that lived outside your window.
Your friends slipped away slowly, hesitantly—Deuce looking like he’d been struck down by a horrid case of food poisoning or something else equally as stomach churning. Once they were gone, Tsunotarou lifted his chin from your head so that he could crane his neck over your shoulder and look at you more directly. Not that he had to try very hard, seeing as he was gigantic, whether on two legs or four.
“What was the small, ugly, one referring to?” he asked curiously. “About your profession?”
Your life flashed before your eyes.
“Bards are known for their hearty curiosity and drive to experience new situations,” you repeated, verbatim, from the little adventurer’s handbook you’d been gifted by Lord Crewel all those years ago.
“Oh,” he hummed, nodding into your hair. “Of course.”
.
.
The first major hurdle cropped up barely two hours later.
“I need to use the bathroom.”
The dragon blinked slowly, as if mentally tallying through a list of human bodily functions to try and figure out just what on earth you were talking about.
“Ah,” he said after a moment. And then he began to melt away—limbs stretching and cracking, and porcelain complexion bubbling up with inky miasma so thick and dark it may as well have been tar. It was both horrifying and awe-inspiring to watch, like some great creature of old emerging from an arcane cocoon. And not two minutes later, a familiar, ebony, dragon was standing before you in all its glory.
He lowered his snout and nosed around your shoulders for a moment, snuffling and searching. And then he pinched your collar between his teeth and hauled you into the air.
You tried not to scream. Really, you did. But humans just weren’t meant for flying, let alone while suspended between the jaws of a beast that could swallow them whole. By the time you landed, you were so wobbly and windswept that you nearly collapsed to the ground then and there, bladder be damned. Tsunotarou warbled something deep in his chest, and you glanced up past the thin veil of icy sweat dripping into your eyes.
He'd placed you into a blown-out enclave that had probably once been a very nice hallway. And in the corner was the remains of what indeed looked like a bathroom. You straightened yourself as much as you could and began hobbling woozily towards what you hoped was a proper, enchanted, toilet and not just some block of stone with a bowl at the bottom.
There was an echoing thud from behind you and you jumped, startled, and turned to see what the ruckus was all about. Tsunotarou had sat his massive head at the entrance. And he continued to sit there. Watching.  
“Uhm,” you mumbled. “Thank you.”
He stared, unmoving. You sighed and squashed your fingers into your temples.
“…We’re going to have to establish some boundaries,” you said. The dragon’s gigantic, neon, eyes closed and opened—like a question. “Boundaries,” you repeated. “Things that we do on our own.”
The beast’s lips flattened into a grumpy line and he grumbled something unintelligible at you, spitting loose sparks from behind his overly long canines.
However, mouthful of razor-sharp teeth in your face or otherwise, everyone had to draw the line between pride and self-preservation somewhere. And having to piss in front of an audience was apparently yours.
You waved your hands in a shoo shoo motion and those amethyst crests flattened irritably atop his skull. He settled in further, the structure of the terrace groaning beneath the weight of his scaly chin. You worried your lower lip between your teeth. It wasn’t exactly like there was a door or anything that you could just, like, shut in his face. And beating him off with a broom or something like a stray cat was out of the question—just out of sheer impossibility. You were going to have to get creative here…
An idea popped into your head and you leaned forward with a charismatic little smile that you’d unleashed on so many traders, and shopkeepers, and unsuspecting bakers that it ought to be considered a weapon in its own right. You’d practiced it in the mirror for weeks.
“I’ll tell you a story,” you offered, and his slitted pupils rounded a bit—intrigued. “That’s what I was before all this, you know. A storyteller.” You had his full interest now, those purple crests rippling behind his horns. “But you have to close your eyes,” you said. “It makes it easier to imagine that way.”
He stared you down curiously for a heartbeat or three, and then Tsunotarou’s gigantic, luminous, eyes slipped shut.  
You sighed and plopped yourself down on the decrepit, stone, toilet.
“Once upon a time,” you began, sweeping your cloak out in front of you to give yourself at least a little bit more dignity. One of those crests twitched at the sound of swirling fabric, but his eyes remained dutifully closed. “There was a bard who made some very terrible life decisions—"
.
.
The next bump in the road came the following afternoon.
“People tend to wear clothes,” you said.
He canted his head at you. “I am not a person.”
Oh for fucks sake.
Tsunotarou was stretched out along one of the many, grand, banisters lining what you assumed had once been a ballroom—lounging in the dim light like a lizard sunning itself on a rock. Apparently, before your arrival, he’d very rarely, if ever, shed his wings and scales for this more compact form. And he seemed to be thoroughly enjoying spreading himself out across all the new surfaces that the change in size allowed him. Part of you would have thought it was a bit endearing—seeing this eldritch monster merrily falling into the ‘if I fits, I sits’ way of life. The other part was sick of nearly collapsing in cardiac arrest every time you caught sight of his very naked self reclining across some new piece of furniture.
“Yes,” you intoned, deadpan. “But you look like one.”
He blinked slowly, as if putting together a thought. “I see. The dissonance of observing a vestige of humanity which does not actually fit the mold of a human must be disconcerting to you.” He rested a knuckle lightly against his chin as he pondered. “In the same way I may feel uncomfortable if you took on the form a dragon with no teeth or tail.”
“Sure. Whatever,” you bemoaned. “Just. Pants? Please?”
He observed you quietly for a moment, amusement dancing across his features. And then he grinned, putting the pointed tips of those impressive canines of his on full display.
“Well I suppose if you’re going to ask so sweetly.”
He sat up with a stretch that was outright spitting in the face of your plea for modesty, and then spread his hands. His black-tipped fingers twisted gracefully, artfully, and the cavernous room filled with the scent of packed earth and ozone. Soft puffs of emerald light glided along his arms, and in their wake sprouted tendrils of sheer, silken, sleeves. Those dancing lights traveled merrily from his shoulders to his hips, and then back again—spinning magic into fabric like little, ghostly, seamstresses as they went.
The soft glow faded and the silk settled around him with all the delicacy of a cloud. It was stunning, certainly. A true work of beauty. With billowing sleeves that cinched neatly at his wrists, and swept into an open window across his front. The fabric wrapped itself snuggly at his waist and draped low enough to offer at least what should have been the bare minimum of modesty. It pooled across his shoulders, splaying out into a split cape that looked eerily similar to the wings he dawned in his other, scalier, form.
But this lovely new ensemble—as gloriously shiny and magical as it was—was still nearly fucking transparent. And yeah, the shadows curling along the spiraling silk did a decent enough job at obscuring what ought to be obscured. But at the same time, somehow this impression of cloth, of loose fabric that dipped below his collar bones and hung uneven and open across his pale chest, was worse than the outright fucking nudity. Scandalous. Like walking in on a seduction scene in a trashy novel.
“…maybe you should just do whatever makes you comfortable,” you managed to cough out, gaze slipping downwards of its own accord. And then more down. You gulped. “D-Don’t feel the need to change yourself on my account.”
He stared grumpily at his swanky new outfit. And then back at you. His lips pursed into a pout.
“You don’t find it pleasing.”
Your eyes rolled up to stare miserably, tormentedly, at the ceiling, and you began reciting every religious verse you could think of. Thou shall not steal or covet. In the name of the Mother, the Crone, and the Hallowed Throne. Head, shoulders, knees, and toes. Aye, Macarena—
“It looks perfectly nice. I just think that you have as much of a right to be happy in your skin as I do,” you reiterated. “I—I mean, you’re already keeping yourself human more often than not just so we can talk.” Which was true enough, but also mostly an attempt to make it seem like your concern was genuinely aimed at him and not your steadily rising blood pressure.
“…you’re incredibly strange,” he grumbled after a moment, his brow tugging low on his forehead. More pouting. “And impossibly frustrating to read.”
The heat radiating off your face like a fucking active volcano felt ‘possible’ enough to you, but what did you know.
“That’s why you’re keeping me around,” you reminded him.
Ten minutes later, he was sprawled out with his head in your lap, the ridges of his horns bumping your hips and inky black hair spilling over your thighs. Naked as a jaybird.
“Tell me another story,” he hummed, eyes slipping closed.
“Sure,” you agreed, gaze once again firmly locked on the hundreds of cracks in the ceiling. You’d probably have them all memorized by this evening, or at the very least have managed to count them all up a dozen times over.
You were halfway through some yarn about armies made of playing cards and worlds beyond looking glasses when Tsunotarou sighed, heavy and bone deep. Content. And then he turned to bury his cheek into the rough fabric of your traveler’s pants with a rumbling drawl that was not unlike a purr. His nose pressed itself into the inseam of your thigh and your brain fuzzed out like you’d been shot pointblank with a Wand of Lightning Bolts.
“Child of Man?” he huffed after a moment—one, neon, eye flicking open to glare up at you grumpily. “What happened then? To the cat that smiled too wide and the man with the mad hats?”
“R-Right,” you squawked. “Uhm—so as I was saying—”
You stared back at all those cracks and started counting again from zero.
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watchmegetobsessed · 10 months
Text
NO MORE GAMES
A/N: so this concept might be familiar for some of you bc i posted about it earlier before i started working on it but now its officially here! and this is my thank you gift for all of you for reaching 15k followers!!! it's insane, thank you so much and hope to bring you even more stories soon!!!
WORD COUNT: 7.9k
WARNING: sexual content
SUMMARY: Your friend forces you to give Tinder a try. Surprisingly you fetch a date with the handsome and a little bit older Harry. But he stands you up and you lose hope in dating. However it's a real plot twist when you run into him at your dad's barbeque and he is introduced to you as the future CEO of your father's company.
MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!
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“This has got to be the lowest point of desperation.”
“Don’t be so dramatic!”
“I’m not, this is truly the end.”
Dani rolls her eyes and just keeps tapping away on your phone’s screen, setting up your Tinder profile.
You. On Tinder. The app you swore you’d never use. How did this happen?
Well, it happened because your boyfriend of two years decided to dump you in a McDonald’s parking lot, only to post about his engagement to another woman on Facebook three weeks later. 
Disgusting pig, you’re convinced you were blind and deaf in those two years, that’s how you could put up with him for so long.
You’ve been wallowing in your self-pity for the past three months and Dani, your best friend had enough and said that you need to get on a dating app, hook up with some fine ass men and forget about Cruz.
“Alright, it’s all set, want to have a look?” Dani smirks, obviously pleased with herself as she hands you over the phone.
It’s a decent profile, she chose some good pictures of you, your profile was never your concern, it’s others on the app that makes you crawl out of your skin.
“Perfect,” you flash her a forced smile, she grabs the phone and then starts swiping vigorously. “Hey! Don’t swipe right on everyone!”
“Not everyone! Just the hot guys!”
“You’re not even reading their bio!”
“Because I don’t care, we’re looking for a hookup, not your husband here, duh!”
You sit, feeling helpless as you watch your best friend decide who is worthy of you in the virtual meat market. This is really not your scene and you’re more than skeptical anything good will turn out from it.
Dani keeps swiping for a while before you finally talk her out of it and you settle watching a movie instead, forgetting about the profile that is now available for every single man in your area. 
To be honest, it completely slips your mind until you’re getting ready for bed and unlock your phone to set an alarm and see all the notifications from Tinder.
“Fuck,” you breathe out, falling into bed as you unwillingly, but tap on one of the notifications and the app opens.
It’s been only a few hours, but you got twenty-seven matches and five out of those even messaged you. You instantly skip the first three because one straight up asks for nudes, one just sends you a bunch of emojis and the third one sent the worst pick up line you’ve ever heard. 
The fourth one is okay, but it’s kind of… well, it’s a simple “Hi, how are you?” and you’re not sure how to reply to that, so then only one’s left.
Harry.
The age next to his name reads 36, that’s not that big of an age gap, only eight years, you’ve seen worse. Besides, he looks younger, almost your age according to the pictures. He has a couple, but not too many. He’s smiling on his profile picture, the t-shirt displays his many tattoos on one of his arms, his hair is slightly curly and mostly a mess, but it’s the good kind.
He is definitely your type. 
He opened with referring to something that’s written in your bio which feels nice, knowing that he actually read it instead of just swiping right based on your pictures. Your thumbs hover over the screen for a bit before you finally give in and type him an answer.
He replies right away. And so the conversation starts.
One message follows the other, you’re jumping from one topic to the next and at one point it feels like you’re talking to an old friend and not a guy you’ve never actually met. The next thing you realize that it’s three am and you’re still talking. 
Y/N: We’ve been talking for hours and you still haven’t asked for my number, should I take it as a bad sign?
HARRY: Didn’t want to seem too pushy, but I wanted to ask for it the moment I saw your profile. 
You smile like a little girl as you type your answer.
Y/N: That would have been too soon, you’re right. But now would be a good time.
HARRY: Hey, crazy idea! Can I maybe have your number?
You laugh. You genuinely laugh at the screen and that probably never happened before.
You give him your number. 
You didn’t think it would go this far, this whole Tinder ordeal Dani forced you into. You were kind of set that it won’t work so why should you even try? 
Now it’s a surprising outcome that you’re on your way to meet Harry at a bar, only three days after texting nonstop. And you’re kinda nervous about it.
You haven’t been on a first date in a long time and it’s giving you the jitters as you get ready. Your experience getting to know Harry in the past few days has been incredibly positive, you wonder if it will be the same when you physically meet.
You arrive at the bar a little early and take a seat at the table he reserved on his name. To ease your nerves you order a vodka soda that you drink quickly, the alcohol mixing in your veins pretty fast, but you’re still nervous to meet him in real life. 
As you wait, a guy comes up to you who seems to be more interested in your cleavage than you while he tries to chat you up, but you quickly reject him, your gaze keeps returning to the entrance, expecting Harry to walk in at any moment.
Minutes pass by and then seven o’clock rolls around, the time when you were supposed to meet, but you see no sign of him, which makes your stomach twist and turn. You double check the time, the date and the place to make sure you’re where you need to be.
“You seem awfully lonely,” a voice speaks up behind you and for a split second you think that it’s Harry, you just missed when he walked in, but when you turn around you see a totally different man, holding two drinks in his hands, clearly offering one to you. You make no effort to accept it.
“I’m not,” is all you say, turning your eyes back ahead. He doesn’t get the hint.
“If you’re waiting for someone I’m happy to be your company until they arrive.” He rounds the table and stands in front of you, blocking your view of the entrance entirely. Exhaling irritatedly, you finally look up at him, your face making an obvious statement that you’re not open to the chit-chat.
“I’m fine, thanks.”
“You definitely seem like you could use some cheering up, let me be the–”
“Oh my God, are you really this dumb? It’s a no, I don’t want to talk to you, now leave the table!”
“Jesus, what a bitch,” he mutters under his breath as he walks away. Normally, you’d definitely call him out, but right now, you’re just staring at the entrance, almost like a maniac as the minutes pass by and there’s still no sign of Harry.
You check your phone, praying there’s gonna be a text at least, saying that he is just late, that he will be here soon, but nothing. It’s dead silent. 
“Fuck,” you breathe out, your feet jumping underneath the table. It’s already twelve past seven. This is not just being fashionably late now.
You wait some more, hoping for a miracle, but it never comes. So does Harry.
When it’s been over thirty minutes you chug down the rest of your cocktail you ordered to make you seem less like a loser and call it a night. On your way out of the bar you pull up your messages with Harry and send him one last text.
Y/N: Thanks for nothing.
And then you block his number, throwing the experience to the very back of your head while you delete Tinder off your phone.
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The annual barbeque is here. Once a year your dad’s home turns into one big fair, he invites most of his employees, investors and partners, throwing a feast in his backyard. It means about five hundred people invade your previous home, where you still spend a lot of your time even though you have your own apartment now. 
You always come as well, because one, your dad loves to show you off and introduce to everyone and two, you usually use this occasion to network a bit. You’ve just opened your own gallery and what’s a better place to promote your art than a backyard full of wealthy investors? Selling your art can seem like an impossible task sometimes, or to be more precise, most of the time. Until your work is not known you make no profit, you need that first purchase that will bring in the rest and get the business rolling. Unfortunately you have not had that one first customer.
Yet.
It’s a sunny Saturday, as if your dad ordered the weather especially for the occasion. There has never been a barbeque with rain or cold before, your dad seems to have control over this as well. There’s endless food and drinks, several activities for children, since it’s a family friendly event and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, mixing and mingling.
You’re nursing a mojito you mixed yourself, so it’s generous in the alcohol department. Wearing a white sundress you’re trying to have a word with everyone you know and everyone you want to know. 
“Sweetheart!” You hear your father calling out and you spot him a few feet away, waving at you. “Come over here, I want to introduce someone to you!”
Excusing yourself from the conversation you slalom between the guests and reach your father under the oak tree that’s near the tiny pond in the middle of the backyard. Yes, your father has a pond in his backyard, as well as two pools, a jacuzzi and a whole ass greenhouse. He is just that extra.
“Hi daddy,” you smile, joining him as he places a hand to your back and gestures towards a man who is currently turned away.
“Y/N, let me introduce you to the man who will take my place in the future, my successor, if you’d like. This is Harry Styles. Harry, this is my only daughter, Y/N.”
Your body makes the realization faster than your mind. The man turns towards you, but by that moment you’ve already recognized the tattoos you’ve looked at in pictures more than you’d like to admit. Then you see his face and your stomach drops before your brain processes who you’re facing.
Harry stood you up on your first date two weeks ago and you thought you’d never see him, but fate decided to make a joke out of it, because now he is here, in the flesh, looking at you with a just as shocked expression as yours.
You both are quick to gain control back over your faces and Harry is the first one to break the silence.
“Hi, it’s, um… It’s nice to meet you,” he clears his throat as he holds a hand out for you. For a short moment you think of just turning around and walking away, but you don’t want to cause a scene and have your father question your behavior, so instead, you shake his hand, the touch of his skin sending tingles down your spine as you let go of it in a bit of a hurry.
“Yeah, it’s really nice to meet you,” you nod, but can’t hold back the spite in your voice. Luckily, your dad seems to be oblivious to the scene happening in front of him. 
“Remember that awfully long procedure we had to find the perfect person to take over after me? Harry was the only one to survive it and I knew we found our guy.”
Your dad pats him on the shoulder proudly and Harry smiles back at him, but you notice how tense he appears to be, most likely because of your presence. 
“Ah, he seems like a decent, reliable guy,” you add with a forced smile and you know he understands the meaning behind your words.
“He is!” you dad beams. “And Harry, this is my wonderful daughter, she graduated from CalArts, top of her class, she is an exceptional artist, you should see her work!”
He has seen your work. Well, virtually. Naturally, you talked about what you do and he asked you to send pictures and you did.
He loved them. Or at least that’s what he said. Now you question everything he wrote in his messages. 
“I’m sure she is… fantastic.”
The torture continues for a few more minutes before others join the three of you and you have a chance to slip away, which you grab without hesitation. 
It feels like all your blood is pumping in your head, you can’t tell if you’re shocked, angry or disappointed, most likely all of these together. Part of you wants to chug something strong to forget about it all, but then another part wants to read everything on him and tell him to fuck himself.
A tequila shot and some internal raging later you’re inside the house, it’s quiet, everyone is enjoying the weather outside, so you have a chance to settle your thoughts. With another mean cocktail in your hands you’re pacing back and forth in the spacious living room, your racing thoughts making it impossible to calm yourself. 
“Can I at least try to explain myself?”
The voice coming from the sliding door that leads out to the backyard makes you jump and when you turn around you spot Harry standing there, looking awfully good, but you’re way too angry at him to acknowledge it. 
“I don’t think I want to hear it.”
Out of frustration you can’t do anything else than drinking and avoiding to look at him, hoping he might disappear if you ignored him. Unfortunately, it’s not the case, he moves closer.
“Y/N, I’m really sorry about standing you up. It was unacceptable, I know. I had a… um, I had a family situation and I didn’t have a chance to let you know I wouldn’t make it.”
“What situation?” you ask right away, and when he hesitates you know it’s all made up. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. I don’t need your apology, you didn’t think it was necessary to tell me you wouldn’t come then, now you’re only apologizing because you were forced to meet me.”
“Y/N, it’s not… it’s not what you think.”
“Oh, I think it’s very much what I think it is,” you let out a bitter laugh. “It’s fine, but I thought you were mature enough to tell me you’re not interested in me anymore. I’m a big girl, I can take the rejection.”
“But I was interested, I still–” He cuts himself off, not sure if it’s fine to say that he is still into you in the situation you found yourself in. “Y/N, I didn’t want to hurt you. This… It’s not how I planned it. I’m sorry.”
You want to stay mad. You want to stand your ground and unleash all your rage at him, but… you can’t. He might have been bullshitting you about why he stood you up, but he truly seems like he feels bad. 
And he really looks way too good.
“Alright. Apology accepted.”
He looks visibly relieved, his shoulders ease and even a tiny smile appears on his lips.
“Thank you. Really. So… Do you want to have a drink now?” he chuckles, but the devilish smirk you flash at him scares him instantly.
“Oh, I said apology accepted. That doesn’t mean we’re fine and back at where we were.”
Before he could say anything or question what you said you walk away, leaving him in a blur. 
You only see him from afar a few times until the end of the barbeque, you catch him staring quite a few times as well and his looks reflect hunger, so you assume your looks definitely live up to his expectations after all. You miss when he leaves at the end, but you know it won’t be the last time you see each other. 
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A plan is formed in your mind about how to teach him a lesson for standing you up. A little game, to be exact. 
Two days after the barbeque you have to meet your dad in his office and you definitely don’t want to miss the opportunity to mess with Harry. You go out of your way to change before heading to the office, wearing a tight, extra short black dress that will surely catch his attention.
With a stack of documents under your arm you stroll into the building as if you owned it. Well, for a while you were set to inherit the business, but when your father realized you’re more into art, he ditched his plans and started looking for his successor. You remember how nervous you were before sitting down with him and telling him you wouldn’t take over the company like he wanted you to. To your surprise, he took it well and you realized he just wants you to be happy, doing whatever your heart desires. 
As a side hustle, you still get involved in some part of the business, just to learn the basic ropes and gain skills you can use in other fields as well, so every once in a while you can be found in the office. Today is one of those days.
The girls behind the front desk smile at you warmly and let you pass by, heading straight up to your dad’s office on the top. Standing in the elevator you check your outfit, making sure it’s not too revealing, but will do the purpose you wore it for. It doesn’t look like you’re going clubbing, but the amount of leg you’re showing will definitely earn you Harry’s attention, just how you planned.
It’s like fate is playing on your side, when you’re approaching the office you spot Harry in there with your dad, a devilish smirk tugging on your lips as you finally reach the glass door, knocking on it gently. They both lift their head up, but the expressions they make are very different. 
While your dad seems happy to see you, gesturing for you to come in, Harry on the other hand seems… shocked to say the least. Most likely not because he is seeing you, but because of how you look. You catch his gaze wandering down your legs right away, his chest rising with a deep breath as you walk inside.
“Hi, sorry to interrupt. I brought the documents you asked for.”
“You’re not interrupting anything, come in!” your dad waves around, rounding his desk to greet you with two kisses on your cheeks.
“Hi Harry, it’s so nice to see you again,” you smile at him charmingly, angling yourself so your legs are perfectly in his view. 
“It’s uh, it’s nice to see you as well, Y/N.” 
The blush on his cheeks is proof that your plan worked pretty well. While chatting with your dad, you keep an eye on Harry and see him practically devouring you with his eyes, his jaw clenches every time you move your weight to one leg and pop your hip out to the side. It’s safe to say he is a fan of your outfit.
“Alright, I better get going,” you sigh and start to pack your stuff when you drop your pen on purpose. The plan was to lean down and tease him even more, but he jumps to your rescue instantly, picking it up for you, but it gets his face to the same level as your thighs and he straightens up faster than the speed of light.
“Here,” he hands you the pen, obviously avoiding looking at you. This is probably the most fun you’ve had in a long time.
“Thank you,” you smile at him, making sure to brush your fingers against his hand as you take the pen from him. “Have a nice day.”
And with that, you stroll out of the office. 
Y/N one, Harry zero.
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You don’t give him much time to recover from your appearance at the office. A few days later, on Friday, you decide to take advantage of your dad’s pool, which is one of the reasons you spend so much time at his. 
And of course because you love him. 
Today however, you have a different reason to parade in his backyard in the tiniest bikini you own. 
Your dad’s office has floor to ceiling windows watching over the glistening pool. Most of the time you try to avoid having a pool day when you know your dad is working from home, but Harry is here today, so that changes everything. 
You saw him arrive a few hours ago from your room’s window and they are still working, so when you’re done with your own business calls you decide it’s time to go for a swim. The neon pink bikini you chose was worn last time in Miami on spring break when you were still in college, a wild weekend you’ll never forget, but you’ve changed since then and it’s not really your style, but it will serve the purpose the best. To help your success you ‘ve also covered your body in tanning oil, making you glisten in the sun.
Putting on your sunglasses you grab a towel and tanning oil and head outside. 
It’s hot outside and you’re already planning to lie in the sun after a swim, the water glistening on your body. Putting on your best poker face you finally walk out and approach the pool. You know this place like the back of your hand, so you know exactly when you come into view from the office. Squaring your shoulders you keep your head high and walk up to one of the sunbeds, dropping your stuff down before striking a not too obvious pose as you put your hair up. Angling yourself just right, you catch a glimpse of what’s going inside and you need everything in you not to start grinning when you spot Harry not far from the window, staring at you like he is about to burst. Your dad is somewhere in the back on the phone, oblivious to the scene that’s happening so close to him. 
The second act starts when you grab the tanning oil and start applying it, rubbing it into your skin, making a show out of it. Oh, how you wish you could see Harry’s face up close, but you have a good guess what’s happening in his mind and it’s very pleasing.
First, you lie down to tan some, normally you cover your head with a towel because of the heat and not care about how you look, but this time you try your best to look as if you just jumped out of a Sports Illustrated catalog. 
Not long later it’s time to jump in the pool. You swim a few laps before emerging from the cold water and returning to your sunbed, all while imagining what could Harry be thinking right now. 
You’re still chilling in the sun when you hear the sliding door open and spot your dad walking out. For a moment you freeze, afraid he might tell you off for using the pool when he is working with someone in his office, but he seems delighted.
“Hey, I have to head out for a quick meeting, I’ll pick up lunch on my way home, want me to grab you something?”
“That would be great, thank you,” you smile at him peeking over the rim of your sunglasses.
“Harry is here, so don’t be surprised if you run into him. He’ll probably stay in the office.”
“Alright.”
With that he turns around and disappears in the garage. You hear the engine start and then he drives away, leaving you and Harry as the only people in the house. Not to make it obvious, you turn to look inside the office, but you’re surprised to see that Harry is not there anymore. Has he left the house as well? Did your plan not work after all?
It’s starting to get too hot outside and you didn’t bring anything to drink so you decide to give up and go inside. Heading into the kitchen all you can think about is a glass of cold lemonade.
Rummaging through the fridge you grab the bowl of fruit salad you made yesterday and brought over and as you’re balancing everything in your hands and pushing the fridge’s door closed with your hips, it scares you when you see Harry standing behind you by the kitchen island.
“Jesus, are you a fucking ninja? I didn’t hear you.”
Walking closer you set everything down to the island and pretend like your pulse is not over the roof. Not just because of the scare, but because he looks incredibly good. FItted pants and simple white shirt, the top few buttons are undone, showing a glimpse of his chest, the sleeves are rolled up, allowing you to check out his tattoos as well. God, if you weren’t trying to teach him a lesson you would be all over him already.
It makes you feel better though that he is definitely checking you out as well. He is not trying to mask it too much, his eyes keep wandering down your body that’s still only covered at the most crucial parts by your tiny swimwear.
“Having a day off?” he leisurely asks, hiding his hands in his pockets as he leans against the island next to you.
“Nope, my work is pretty flexible. I’m mostly my own boss.”
You see him nod from the corner of your eyes as you dig into the fruit salad, trying to act casual and ignore the fact that you’re in a hot pink bikini while he is dressed for work. 
“So how long are we going to play this?” he then asks out of the blue. 
You know exactly what he is talking about, but you won’t give in that easily. With your hands on your hips you turn to face him with an innocent look on your face and you don’t miss how his eyes snap down to your chest, then to your lips before they move back to your eyes.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
A tiny little smile tugs on the corner of his lips as he looks away, out to the terrace where the pool’s glistening surface is probably reminding him of the show you gave him not long ago.
“Is this supposed to be punishment?”
“Did you do something you deserve punishment for?” you tilt your head to the side. 
He opens his mouth to reply, but then decides against it, just stares back at you and you wish you could read his mind. He pushes himself away from the island and starts to walk away, you take it as your wind or this round, so you turn back to your snack, but then suddenly he moves back and cages you between his arms, his hands gripping the counter on either side of you. He is behind you now, not even touching you anywhere, but still, it’s as if he was everywhere on your body. Your breath hitches in your throat when you hear his low voice in your ear.
“If you want to play, I’m happy to play along. But be careful, you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
This should be the perfect moment for a clever remark, but your mind is so fogged up you can’t articulate one solid thought. He moves back and you feel his presence disappear from behind you before you see him walking back towards the office, but before he could disappear he shoots one last comment at you.
“Pink looks good on you!”
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He did not joke when he said he would play along.
So far, only you’ve been playing this game, but since your little pool side performance, Harry has definitely turned it up on his side as well. 
He has been pretty subtle so far. The bastard has noticed that his tattoos make you droop, that you love to check out his backside whenever he is wearing fitted pants and those smirks… they make you weak in the knees every damn time. And he takes every opportunity to use these against you whenever you run into each other. 
You’ve been dropping by your dad’s office a lot more often than usually in hopes of seeing Harry and he’s been a frequent guest at your dad’s house as well. Stolen looks, tiny touches and never ending teasing have become your usual lately and you’ve been enjoying it way too much probably. 
It’s been pretty long since you had a crush and it’s an exciting change to have this little thing going on with Harry, whatever it really is. 
The major change is that you’ve started to text again. A few days after your encounter in your dad’s kitchen the flow started again and you’ve been talking ever since. It’s like before the failed date. 
Two weeks pass by and you realize it’s been only small little games, nothing extreme since your show at the pool. You’ve been trying to come up with a move that will leave him defeated and a shopping spree with Dani is what gives you the idea. 
She always makes you go lingerie shopping, she likes to surprise her boyfriend with new sets and while looking around you find one that catches your eyes and you end up buying it with the pure intention of making it part of your game. 
You’ve never been that big of a fan of fancy lingerie sets, but you do know it’s what you need to spice the game up. 
When you’re finally home you put on the quite revealing black set, fix your hair and even look up what poses are the best if you want to send racy pictures to your partner. Well, Harry is not your romantic partner, but definitely your partner in this game. 
You take quite a few pictures, some in the mirror, some with a timer, your camera roll turns into the newest issue of PlayBoy and it takes even more time for you to choose just one. When you finally settle on one it’s time for the fun part. Opening up the text threat with Harry, you send the photo and a few moments later a text.
Y/N: Sorry, meant to send it to someone else.
And then you just wait. 
For an hour your message stays unread, but then the status changes and your heart jumps into your throat. He saw the message eleven minutes ago, but there’s no response and it sends you down the rabbit hole.
Did your plan work? Is he fighting a major hard-on at the office? Or does he think your attempt to seduce him was ridiculous? Is he gonna lecture you about sending nudes? Why is he not responding???
Minutes turn into an hour and you’re losing hair at this point, regretting you even thought about sending him a spicy picture and you’re about to block his number, getting yourself ready to never see him again when your phone finally chimes with a message and Harry’s name appears in the notification.
HARRY: No. Shit like this can only be meant for me. I’m serious.
You gasp. Almost moan reading his words. And suddenly you forget about the madness you went through in the past hour. It was worth it, it was all worth it because this one message has lit you on fire. 
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His message stunned you so much you didn’t even reply. What could be said after that? 
Got it, sir.
Or maybe…
Don’t tell me what to do.
Oh yeah, that would have really messed with him, but you chose silence and he didn’t double text you either. It stopped the flow of regular messages too and in the next three days you realize how much you miss him when you’re not talking. 
You’re falling for him and you hate that beside the little games, he is not taking the step you want him to. 
A few days after the picture was sent an old friend of yours comes to visit his family in the city and the two of you agree to catch up over dinner. Salim was your study buddy through college, he was always up to spend the entire day in the library whenever you had a theoretical exam to take. Art school wasn’t just painting and creating all the time, unfortunately. After graduation he moved to France with his boyfriend and has been living there for the past years, but he often comes home to visit his loved ones and he always makes time for you as well. You’ve been keeping in touch, but not as regularly as you used to and it’s great to talk when you’re not only in the same time zone but also in the same room. 
“Look at you! You’re glowing!” he greets you when you get out of the Uber and he wraps you in a tight hug. 
“Not as much as you! I see Claude is taking good care of you!” you chuckle, squeezing him back before letting go of each other. He looks stylish as always and you notice he’s starting to dress more and more like Claude, whose style is excellent, by the way. They fit each other really well.
You walk into the restaurant, it’s one of your favorite places and the host shows you your table. You order appetizers and drinks and dig into everything you haven’t discussed over the phone in the past couple of months. 
“Now, tell me about that Tinder guy you last mentioned,” Salim smirks at you over the table and you realize you never told him the whole story, just that you were going on a date with Harry. 
A lot has happened since then.
You update him about the failed date and the meeting at the barbeque and how you’ve been messing with each other since then. 
“You did what?” He almost chokes on his wine.
“I sent him a nude picture,” you repeat yourself with a coy smile. 
“You’re really brave, I would have never had the balls,” he snorts. 
“I needed to step my game up. But we’ve been stuck since then.”
“He’s too busy jerking off to your photo,” he chuckles.
“No,” you smile. “Maybe he is… here.”
Your eyes grow wide when you spot the all too familiar form of Harry by the bar and he is staring at you with a bewildered look that does things to you that you can’t exactly explain. 
“What?” Salim’s face forms a confused frown. 
“He is… literally here. At the bar and don’t turn around, but he is looking straight at us.”
Your body is reacting as if you were caught doing something you weren’t supposed to, but nothing like that is happening, so you’re not sure why your reaction is so intense. Luckily, discretion is no problem for Salim, so he turns to see Harry in a way that’s not too obvious. When he looks back at you his eyes are just as wide as yours.
“Holy shit, he really is hot!”
“I know!” you whisper, not sure what to do, because Harry is still very much staring at you. “Fuck, should I say hi?”
“No, let him come to you if he wants to!”
Nodding, you try your best to focus on the food and your friend in front of you, but it’s almost impossible when you can clearly see Harry over Salim’s shoulder. Either he keeps staring at you or you always catch him looking, doesn’t matter, because it makes your stomach drop every time your gaze meets his. 
Then your phone lights up with a text from him.
HARRY: I hope it’s not a date.
“Oh my God, he thinks we are on a date,” you whisper to Salim upon reading the text while keeping your face as straight as humanly possible. 
“Is he jealous?”
“Most likely,” you nod, typing your response.
Y/N: And what if it is?
His reply comes before you could even lock the phone.
HARRY: It better not be.
Y/N: So bossy. Unfortunately, you have no right to hold me back from dating.
“I think I stood my ground, but I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack.”
Placing the phone back to the table with screen down you’re determined to focus on Salim from now on, but it’s just impossible to move on from those texts. At some point however, Harry disappears from your view and you fight the urge to check your phone to see if he had any response.
While Salim is trying to decide if he wants some dessert or just another cocktail you excuse yourself to the restroom. It’s definitely been an emotional rollercoaster, not just your usual friendly catch-up, you’ll surely be thinking about it for a while. 
Just as you’re about to close the door behind you a foot sticks in and stops you and then everything happens so fast.
The door is forced open and you gasp as you take a step back and watch Harry walk in, close the door behind him and lock it as well. His eyes are burning as he looks at you and you’re just a speechless ragdoll as he pushes you against the cold, tiled wall, caging you between his arms, his hips pressing against yours.
“Who is he?” he hisses at you, his pupils dilated and wild and you’ve never seen him from this close, you’re basically breathing the same air.
“He’s…” You can’t speak or form any words, the air is pushed out of your lungs every time you try to fill them enough to give you the strength to speak up. Fuck, you’ve never seen him like this, but it’s making your pussy throb for sure.
“Answer me or I’ll go out and make a scene to find out.”
“He’s just a friend,” you manage to breathe out. 
“Are you fucking him?”
“No.” You want to tell him that you couldn’t even if you wanted to, because Salim would be more interested in fucking him than you, but the words die on your tongue when he exhales sharply at your answer.
“Fuck your little games, Y/N,” he then says, almost growls as he shakes his head in defeat. 
“Fuck me instead,” you hear yourself saying, but it’s as if it wasn’t you who spoke, yet you still said exactly what you had in your mind. 
HIs eyes are throwing flames again when one of his hands moves to the side of your neck, his thumb moving under your chin to tilt your head upwards, angling your head, but still just teasing you.
“No more games.”
“No,” you shake your head desperately. Your hands have found their way to his waist and you fist his shirt, fighting the urge to rip it off him.
“I mean it, Y/N. It’s all in or nothing. I want you to be mine.”
“I’m already yours.”
His kiss comes so fast your head goes dizzy for a second before you recover and return it just as eagerly as it came. It’s been the longest foreplay, weeks worth of teasing and yearning after each other end now as Harry’s body presses you against the wall with so much force it’s almost too much, but you want him as close as possible. 
Even though you’re certain you’ve lost your mind, your consciousness still knows you’re in a public bathroom and you have limited time. Harry knows too and he wastes no time moving you over to the counter, he hoists you up and sits you on top of the granite next to the sink. You gladly wrap your legs around his waist and lock him against you while his mouth is now exploring the curve of your neck and shoulders, desperately pushing the straps of your dress to the side to reach more of your skin. Your body is reacting instantly to him, your hips roll against him and you feel his bulge between your legs, a tortured moan slipping out of your mouth. 
“Harry!” you beg him, when his hand slips under your dress and into your underwear, his skilled fingers teasing you just right, but you need him fast and hard, this is not the time and place to play games.
“I wish I could take my time with you,” he grunts before playfully biting the soft skin on your neck while unbuckling his belt. “But I’m gonna fuck you fast and you’ll take it like the good little slut you are.”
All you can do is whine and force your legs further apart, watching him push his pants and underwear down in one motion, his cock springing free, ready to ruin you. Harry pushes your dress up your torso and hooks a finger into your panties, pushing the fabric to the side to reveal your drenched pussy. 
“Have you thought about me while touching yourself?” he asks, his other hand going to his cock, lazily tugging on it, precum dripping from the tip.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
He jerks on his cock a few more times before spitting on it and pushing inside you without warning. A scream dies in your throat, because you bite into your own hand not to make too much noise, but he is definitely bigger than anyone you’ve ever been with, his erection is filling you up, stretching you like nothing and no one before.
“Don’t whine, I know you can take it,” he pants, his eyes rapidly switching between your face and his cock buried balls deep inside you. 
All you can do is nod before he starts moving. He gives you a few slow thrusts to adjust, but then he picks his pace up and starts slamming into you ruthlessly.
And you love every moment of it.
It’s so animalistic, so intoxicating, your head feels dizzy again and you need everything inside you not to start screaming his name. Normally you need more stimulation and time to feel your orgasm building up in the pit of your stomach, but it’s different with Harry. You can already feel your climax nearing.
“So fucking good, you take me so well,” he preaches you, his hands holding onto your thighs to keep you in place and you curl an arm around his neck to pull yourself closer to him, pressing your lips to his in a messy kiss.
“I wanted to fuck you the moment I saw you in that bar.”
His words reach your brain and you process what he said, but you can’t reply at that moment, because you’re already on the verge of your orgasm.
It doesn’t take long for the both of you to reach your climax, he is the first one but you chase after him just seconds later. It lasts long and he keeps thrusting into you even when it’s dying down. His face is buried in your neck when he finally stops and you both are panting heavily.
When he lifts his head he’s looking at you with hazy eyes, but the smile that tugs on the corners of his lips is something you’ll remember for the rest of your life.
“You said you wanted to fuck me the moment you saw me at the bar,” you repeat his words from earlier now that you can actually form words. Judging from the look on his face he knows why you’re questioning him.
You never met at the bar, he stood you up that night.
“I went there,” he admits. “I saw that other guy flirting with you and… I didn’t think I stood a chance with you. So I left.”
You’re staring back at him in disbelief. All this time you thought he didn’t come because you weren’t good enough for him, but it was the opposite. He was there. He came and wanted to meet you, but lost his confidence because of that random guy.
“You’re the only person who ever stood a chance with me,” you softly say as you reach up to take his face in your hands.
“I thought I was too old for you.”
“But I knew you were older all along,” you chuckle. “It was never an issue for me.”
“I know,” he admits with a sigh. “I fucked up, I’m sorry.” He kisses you softly and it’s mind-blowing how he was fucking you hard just moments ago and now he is treating you so gently.
“I need to go back, Salim will get suspicious,” you sigh as you slip off the counter, trying to fix yourself.
“Oh, your date is waiting for you,” he teases you, pulling his pants back up.
“He is gay, Harry,” you chuckle and watch his expression change.
“Okay, I approve.”
You laugh and pull him down for another kiss.
“Should we talk about this after?”
“I can come over when you get home.”
“I’m afraid we won’t do much talking if you do that,” you grin at him, arching an eyebrow.
“Promise, I’ll be a gentleman for at least thirty minutes. That should be enough for all the talking.”
“Uhuh, alright. See you at mine then,” you nod before slipping out of the bathroom.
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The plates are empty, dinner is now officially nearing its end but you still haven’t broken the news to your dad. 
The news that you and Harry are together.
He is sitting across from you at the table, his hesitant eyes finding your gaze every other minute. He is shitting his pants, you know that, even though you told him your dad will probably take it well. He is not one to stress about such things, but Harry didn’t believe you, he thinks he’ll throw him out of the company and tell you to never see him again.
Absurd. 
Clearing your throat you decide it’s time for the announcement.
“Dad, I want to tell you something,” you speak up and panic flashes through Harry’s face for a moment, but he’s quick to mask it. 
“Alright, I’m listening,” he smiles at you.
“Okay, I’ll just… Um, I want you to know that I’ve been dating someone. It’s kind of… serious,” you add, your eyes finding Harry over the table and you don’t miss the blush on his cheeks. 
“That’s amazing! Do I know this person?” your dad enthuses.
“Well, you know him very well. He is actually sitting here at the table.”
You watch as realization washes over his face, he looks over at Harry and then back at you, while you both wait for his reaction.
Then a tiny smile appears on his face and you know you were right, there was nothing to worry about.
“That’s great news, I’m happy for you.”
Harry exhales in relief and you can’t help but laugh.
“See? I told you,” you smirk at him with a shrug.
“Are you sure you’re alright with it?” Harry asks, still a bit doubtful, but your dad just smiles at him warmly. 
“I’m more than sure, son. Why would I not be alright with it? I trust you with my company, I trust you with my daughter too. Easy as it is.”
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
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merakiui · 4 months
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PLEASE. please. if you would be so kind to give us some more stalker ex scara... the first time I saw it it just changed my brain chemistry, and I desperately need more </3
>:D thinking a lot about stalker ex Scara, but you get really drunk and he's the only one left to look after you......
(cw: yandere, nsfw, non-con, alcohol/intoxication, toxic ex scara, modern college au, connected to the previous stalker ex scara concept)
Just,,, the fact that he's been so good and sweet ever since he casually slid himself into your friend group and you're not sure if you can trust him, yet here you are being completely, utterly, stupidly vulnerable in front of your very unstable ex. orz
Kuni's not one for parties; in fact, he'd much rather spend his precious time doing quiet, comfortable things with you (cuddling is so much healthier than drinking, after all! <3). Unfortunately, you allow your foolish friends to talk you into attending these brain-rotting parties so you can get drunk off your ass, and he can't let you attend them by yourself because there are too many risks. If you got too comfortable with Venti or Kazuha or even Tighnari while drunk, Kuni would never forgive you. >:( he's worked too hard cultivating this friendly image for himself, and he isn't going to let you or anyone else ruin it.
But right now everyone else is too inebriated to do much of anything, and he hasn't touched the drinks ever since he arrived, instead choosing to anchor himself to some forgotten corner of the room. He sulks and broods in silence, a scowl plastered to his face. He's just barely tolerating it for your sake. It's because he loves you that he's doing any of this. Soon you won't even need any of these troublesome friends. Soon you'll just have him, and he's all you really need. It was like that when you were growing up, after all. Even though, as painful as it is, you don't seem so codependent, so swept up in romance... You're so independent now, no longer the shy, fearful thing from the final few months of your relationship with him. He'd be impressed if he wasn't trying so hard to isolate you from each of your friends. It's a challenge when he's trying to tiptoe around Heizou's sharp, witty perception or Venti's proclivity for knowing everything about everyone despite no one knowing much about him.
But he endures. He's gone years without you; this is nothing.
If you were smarter, you'd know not to trust a word he says. That kind, soft smile he's perfected for this act is not to be believed, especially not when he's using it to assure your friends that he'll bring you home safe and sound. Heizou has his doubts because it's late and you can hardly walk a straight line, but he's tipsy just like the others and it's hard to deliberate like this. Besides, when has Kuni ever let the group down? :)
He takes you back to his dorm instead because Albedo's not home and he has the entire room to himself. While you meander clumsily over to his bed, kicking your shoes off and shucking your jacket in the process, he watches. You have no idea how much he depends on you, how much he admires you, so much so that it surpasses love and lust entirely. Without you, he's nothing. Or that's what he thinks because for the majority of his life he's felt empty and sub-human and so alone. But now you're here, and you can fill those empty spaces in his heart and give him a reason to keep living.
You don't seem particularly fazed when the bed dips under his weight. Rather, you blink sleepily up at him when he leans over you, gingerly reaching to help you out of your sweater. You're too drunk to protest or struggle, and you feel so dizzy every time you open your eyes. It's difficult to remain fully conscious when sleep is tugging at your body, pulling you under. You don't even realize he's fit his mouth on yours until his tongue is pushing past your lips. You manage to place your hands against his chest, intending to push him away, but you're so exhausted and tired. They fall to your sides, useless.
Kuni sits up and smiles at you. He says something about you being dumb and cute... or something about how your friends are fools. You don't really catch all of his obsessive murmurings when your attention is waning. Clothes are torn off; he kisses you a lot. You're not sure if you're reciprocating, but it certainly sounds that way when you're whining beneath him, arching against sodden sheets, your breaths coming in pants and huffs each time he ruts into you.
He doesn't have to worry about anything. Right now, it's just you and him in a corner of the world, locked away from everyone who might try to take you away from him. It's not like you'll remember much come morning. You don't need to anyway. It's better if you're lost and bewildered. That way he'll be able to craft a story to suit his fancy. You'll believe it. You'll have no choice, and Kuni knows how to tell very believable tales.
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