#so if he went to the effort of making some of the things that ARE possible but just a pain in the ass??
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Forced | Carlos Sainz vr.
WC: 19K
Carlos x reader
Summery: When your fathers make a pact before you're born to marry their children, you and Carlos have to see it through.
Warning: cursing, forced marriage, bad parents, asshole-y Lando, cursing? misogyny, some other things I can't remember
A.N: There's a difference between arranged marriage and forced marriage. This is forced marriage ✌️
Masterlist
Charles vr.
Carlos remembers the moment he found out very well. He was 11 years old. Back from holiday with the y/l/n’s. It was a fun summer, he had so much fun. He didn’t have any karting completions, and he loved spending time and playing with you. You’re just 4 years old, and even though you're just a toddler, a baby in his eyes, Carlos loved playing with you. He’s always been gentle and loves kids. He doesn’t remember a time when you weren't there.
His mum and dad sat him down a day after they came back to Spain and told him the truth.
“It’s good that you get on well with y/n.” His mum said, confusing him.
”Why?” He knows they got on well, and it makes the family get together less chaotic, but why was it so good that his mum had to comment on it.
“Carlos you’re growing older now, and we feel like it’s time for you to know that…” His mum trailed off suddenly feeling nervous, she looked at his dad, he took her hand in his and gave her a squeeze.
”y/n’s father and I are old friends, and we made an agreement years ago, and we decided that one of my children will marry one of his when they’re both old enough.” Carlos Sr watchers as his son tries to understand what’s being told to him right now. The young boy is shocked. He can’t comprehend what he’s being told. “With her mum being so sick during the pregnancy and how rough the birth was, they’re not having any more children so that leaves you and y/n, you’ll be married once she’s 21.”
”W-what! but-but she’s just a baby!” Carlos is outraged. He feels like his whole life just took a turn. He wonders if it’ll affect his karting or his future plans, all his dreams not taken into consideration.
“Amor, she won’t be a baby forever, she’ll grow older and so will you, look don’t overthink it, there's still 17 years before something happens, but we just wanted you to know.”
And so Carlos knew, he knew for years. Every time he saw you, that was all he could think about. Carlos went through all the stages, he hated it, he hated his parents and yours, and he hated you. He hated how attacked you are to him. How you’d smile every time you saw him, oblivious, in your childhood innocence. You called his name so incessantly, and he hated it all. Then he began denying it, he ignored his parents, he ignored you, he ignored everything and everyone and just focused on racing. He then accepted it. He didn’t go to any function you were attending, but he accepted it he just didn’t want to see you before he’d be stuck with you forever. He never had any long-term relationships, his family always making it obvious that they didn’t approve and like his girlfriends. You were none the wiser. Your family didn’t tell you. They just left you to grow up as you liked, living your life with no looming marriage over you.
Carlos has no idea what you are like now, what your personality is like. He had no idea how you even looked. He’s made it his mission to ignore everything about you, to block you when you were old enough to be on social media. He’ll live his life as he wants before he can’t anymore.
And the moment he got the card, he knew it was over. The time is finally here. In his hands is the invitation to your 21st birthday party. Your family is holding a big celebration. And the driver had no obligations that day, he couldn’t get out of it. There’s no ignoring you anymore. There’s no toning out his parents when they talk about you.
You weren’t particularly excited for your birthday, your mum chose the dress when she saw that you wouldn’t. It’s not like you're ungrateful for the effort your parents put into it. But it's way bigger than it needed to be, and it's not like you had a lot of friends to invite. Almost everyone they invited you barely knew. Why they made a big deal out of it is a mystery for you. The party is even bigger than your 18th birthday.
The day of the party arrived, and a glam team was booked by your mother. Your make-up and hair were done to perfection. Your dress was made especially for you. It fit where it needed to and was loose where it needed. You had to admit that it looked good on you. You wouldn't have chosen it, but your mum made a choice that wasn’t half bad.
The party was in full swing when you made it to the venue. You blasted a fake smile when you walked in, and everyone shouted happy birthday and clapped and cheered for you. You greeted everyone just like your parents would've liked you to, but you had a champagne glass in your hand that you sipped on. The moment one was empty, you had another one in your hand.
Carlos was standing in the corner watching you. You've grown so much since he last saw you. He asks himself how nobody could tell how fake your smile is, or maybe they did, but they simply didn't care. He has a glass of some alcoholic beverage in hand that he sips on. He watches as a young female pushes her way through the crowd to reach you. Your smile instantly turns genuine as you hug her closer and longer than everyone else so far.
You manage to sneak away from the fake people with your best friend, and you both find a corner away from everyone. You're giggling with your friend as you people watch, clearly talking about the attendants. The party goes on for a long time.
"I'm so hungry." Lisa, your friend groans, and you give her a sympathetic smile.
"Yeah, well, apparently, the reason the party is earlier in the day is because we're having a family dinner later." You complain and throw your head back, dreading the dinner, you're both now walking around the room in a slow circle, people have calmed and are now talking in groups, the dance floor is filled with older couples slow dancing. Some even left. They were only here to be able to say they came anyways.
"Oh my god! Isn't that ja- oomph!" You exclaim as you hit someone, you stumble, but a pair of hands stops you from making a scene and a big fool of yourself. You look up and meet a gorgeous pair of brown eyes.
You tilt your head to the side, and Carlos has to admit that you've grown so beautiful. Seeing you this close, he couldn't deny it.
"Sorry." You say and frown. "Do I know you?"
"I don't know, do you?" Carlos asks with a cheeky smile. He watches your eyes go wide. The accent is so familiar. You heard it for years from his father.
"Carlos?" You ask, and he smiles. It's him. You haven't seen him in so many years, you remember him vaguely from your childhood. You also remember following him on social media and trying to get to know him before you were blocked on everything. You take a step back and straighten yourself. "What are you doing here?"
This again confirms to him that you don't know about the agreement you both were robbed into before you were even born. "I was invited.”
"Huh, and you actually came." You state and Lisa gives you a questioning look. She doesn't know who Carlos is, you shake your head, and she knows you'll tell her later.
"It's your 21st, after all." Carlos says, and you roll your eyes.
"Good on you to remember, you don't come on holidays anymore." You tell him, and he just smiles.
"I heard you don't go anymore." Carlos fires back, and you nod. You haven't been going the last couple of years always finding an excuse not to go.
"I don't feel like it anymore." You shrug. "How long are you here for?"
"A week before I have to go back to work." Carlos puts his hands in his pockets, and you can't help but admire the man.
"Oh right, you race." You remember what your mother has been telling you, weirdly she's been trying to get you to go and watch Carlos race for a few years now, but you've been refusing
"I'll catch up with you later." Lisa whispers in your ears, you watch her go, and smile when you see the guys she's been watching all day by the bar.
"Do you watch the races?" Carlos asked you, bringing your attention back to him.
"No, I've never watched Formula 1, I only watch when your dad is racing." You have watched Carlos Sr. race a few times with your family, and you have to admit that growing up, you've been close to him, and you liked cars because of him. Not racing, but just you loved admiring cars and driving them.
"I should feel jealous then." You stand in silence for a moment, both looking at each other. There's an intensity to the looks Carlos is sending you. You don't know why.
"Oh good, you two have met." Your mum says, walking over to the two of you, Carlos's mum, Reyes, they're both smiling wide at the two of you.
"I was just about to go look for Lisa." You say and turn to leave before your mum takes hold of your arm and gives you a strained smile.
"Actually, y/n, the party is coming to an end, and we're about to head for dinner." Your mum says, and you frown looking at the Sainzs.
"Wait, they're coming with us?" You asked surprised, this is the first you've heard of it. No one told you this before.
"Yes, so be nice and come on." Your mum's voice is low, so only you could hear her.
"Then Lisa can come."
"No, and we're not going to talk about it." Your mum is getting agitated as she's been with you lately.
"But that doesn't make sense. Why can they come but not Lisa? She's my friend!" You don't care that they heard you, this is your birthday and the least they could do is let you invite your friend.
"y/n, listen to what I say, stop fighting with everything I say." She's not happy with you, and you know the threats that are about to come. "If you don't listen to me, you can kiss your house goodbye, your cards and everything you have will be gone."
You glare at her and turn to leave, you came alone with a driver. You don't bother saying goodbye to the last of the attendants, you just stop for Lisa, tell her a summary of what happened with your mum telling her to enjoy her night with the guy she's talking to before you leave.
On the way to the restaurant, you spot a shop you know well, an idea hits you, you tell the driver to park and hop out, still in your floor length gown and everything. The shop attendant looks at you wide-eyed as you head to the rack where the dress you have in mind is, your mum will kill you for this, but you don't care at the moment. If she wouldn't let you bring your friend then you're going to dress how you like.
You pay for the dress before you head to the changing room. The dress you choose is a better fit for a club, not a high-end restaurant that has been rented out for the night. It's short, just long enough so you wouldn't flash anyone when you sit down, and the neckline is dangerously low. A stark contrast to what you'd usually wear but who cares.
From the hostess to the waiters, they all looked at you with wide eyes, and you had a smile on your face walking through the restaurant.
Carlos is bored out of his mind, sitting at the table with his family and yours. They're all very comfortable with each other from spending years together, and he feels a little like an outsider. He's polite and answers when he's asked a question, but he's not engaging. He wants to know when you'd be informed of your predicament, but he doesn't want to bring it to their attention if they somehow miraculously forgot about it. From his place at the table and with an empty seat next to him, Carlos was the first person to spot you, his jaw dropped, if you looked beautiful and elegant in the first dress, you look HOT in this one. The dress left little to the imagination. He cleared his throat and readjusted himself in his seat, not taking his eyes off you.
"y/n y/n! what are you wearing?" Your mum screeched, making all eyes snap to look at you, Carlos heard one of his sisters choke on her drink and had to control the smirk from appearing on his face. He had a feeling from the look you gave your mum when she refused your friend that you'd do something, but he didn't expect this.
"A dress, dear mother." You reply with a dry tone and sit down in the seat next to him, Carlos's eyes drop to your legs for a second before he looks up and away from you.
"Just let her be for now." Your dad mutters to your mum, and she sighs, slumping in her chair. Slowly, the talking began again. Ana, Carlos's younger sister, leans over to start talking to you. Between all of you, you're the closest to her. Maybe it's because she's closer in age to you.
Carlos hasn't said a word to you since you sat down. He had to clench his fists when you crossed your legs, the already short dress moving upwards. "So y/n what F1 race do you want to go to, Carlos, can get you tickets to the one you like?"
"None, thank you." You say as politely as you can to Reyes, with a fake smile.
"I think going will be a good idea, you can get to know Carlos." You mum nudges, and you frown.
"No offence to Carlos, but why would I want to get to know him?" You ask, and the parents share a look. "Why are you all being so weird? Are you hiding something from me?"
This triggers something in you. They’ve been acting so weird for a long time now.
"No-y/n, it's just."
"Dad, what's happening?" You ask your dad, seeing how flustered your mum is, he'd lay it out to you. He's usually leaving all the problems with you for your mum to handle.
"You and Carlos are getting married." There it was said, the room went silent, Carlos's sisters didn't know where to look. You looked at your dad waiting for him to say he's joking, but he didn't. Carlos took a swing from his drink and sighed. He feels awkward right now. He hoped you'd be informed when he wasn't around and maybe in a gentler way.
"You're joking." You laugh trying to prompt them to say that they are, that this is all a prank and that they got you. None of that happens, and they're sitting there watching you. You throw the napkin on your lap on the table and stand up. "What the actual fuck is going on? How am I getting married to Carlos!"
"y/n sit down please." Your father begs and you glare at him.
"No! Someone better explain to me what is going on?" You looked at everyone, and it appeared like everyone knew about it but you. "Everyone knows? How can everyone know but me?"
"y/n, come here." Your dad is up and making his way to you. He has to pull you by your arm and to a private room in the restaurant. Your mum is following hot on your heels.
"Well, that went well." Carlos says and stands up. He walks to the balcony and leans on the railing, looking out at the night sky.
Your shouting could be heard from where Carlos stood, they're explaining the agreement, how it's legally binding, they're probably threatening you. Carlos is proud of your cursing and shouting and fighting back. He was scared you'd be raised to like and obey him, that you'd be timid and easily persuaded.
"I don't fucking care... daddy you can't make me do this.... I don't care, I don't care, I don't care... I will shout if I want to! You're not controlling my life!... I hate you, I hate you both so much!"
Carlos hears the door open and your heels clicking on the floor as you fast walk to the table where your phone sat. Carlos just makes it back when you've had them in your hands, your parents making it back as well.
"Lovely meeting you all, happy fucking birthday to me, I'll go die now." You say and walk off, pissed off and rightfully so.
"Go after her." Ana whispers to Carlos, and he looks at her with another nod of encouragement he follows you. He sees you standing outside clearly cold waiting for your car.
Carlos takes off his jacket and drapes it over your shoulder. You only spare him a glance. Carlos struggles to find words to say to you, he's known about this since he was 11 and he's come to accept it but here you are just finding out in front of him and his family.
"When did you find out?" You asked, breaking the silence between the two of you.
"When I was 11." Carlos says and your face snapped to look at him, there's sympathy in your eyes, you have no idea what's better to find out when you're still a child and have everything robbed out of it, how can you continue being a child when you're told something like this, or is it worse being told in the same year, where you'd have no time to come to terms with it.
"This is fucked up." You say, shaking your head.
"Yeah." The car pulls up to a stop in front of you, but you don't make a move to get in. "They planned for us to meet again before I leave." You scoff at this, not believing how they have everything planned already before you were even told. "Give me your phone." You look at him and reluctantly hand him your phone, Carlos puts in his number and calls himself, so he'd have your number. "Go home, try to relax and think about everything, but just so you know, there's no getting out of this, legally, I've tried for years."
"It must've been hard for you." You say and give him a small smile. "Good night."
"Good night."
Carlos was right. Your mum sent you a text when you rejected her calls. She said that you have to come to this family function, you have to start being seen with Carlos. You half wanted to block her, but you knew that she'd just get a new number and then a new number and so on until you wouldn't ignore her anymore.
Carlos also texted you, but you only replied with one word answers, not feeling like replying to him. On the day of the function, you were sitting on the sofa in your home in a pair of shorts and a random t-shirt. Your doorbell rang in the silent apartment, making you sigh and reluctantly get up to see who it is. Opening the door, you see Carlos standing there. He's dressed in a white linen shirt with white shorts. Leaning on the door, you look at him but say nothing. You’re out of your heels, making Carlos realise how much shorter you are than him. The make-up is gone, and it’s like he’s seeing you for the first time. This is a contrast from the dolled up version he saw on your birthday. Both beautiful, both breathtaking.
"I see that you already decided not to come." Carlos states, and you sigh and turn and walk in your apartment, Carlos following you closing the door. Carlos takes a moment to look over the apartment. You plop down on the sofa in the same position as before. "I texted you."
"You and everyone else." You say and text Lisa, not looking at him.
"You do know that if you don't go, they'll come over, right?" You haven't thought of that. You sit up and look at Carlos, who is looking at the artwork you have on the walls. He turns to look at you with a grin. "I suggest you change before that happens."
"But I don't want to go." You whine and sigh.
"Who said anything about going, I said change." Carlos smirks, and your eyes light up at the thought of him helping you escape your family.
"You'll help me escape?" You ask him hope bubbling inside of you.
"Yes"
"Oh my god, thank you!" You run to your bedroom, closing the door and changing into a sundress, taking your bag with all your essentials. "Did you drive here?" You ask Carlos coming out of the bedroom. He's made himself comfortable on your sofa. Carlos looks up from his phone, his eyes giving you a once over.
"No, I don't have a car here." You nod. It makes sense. He lives in Spain, after all.
"Well, you're in luck. Which car do you want to take?" You ask him and nod to where you had your car keys hanging one next to each other, a Porch, a McLaren, a Mercedes, and then a Ferrari.
"Wow, hermosa, I didn't know you liked cars," Carlos says and stands beside you to look at the logos on the keys. You grin and look at him.
"There's so much you don't know about me." You say, and Carlos looks at you also smiling.
"Well, let's change that." He takes the Ferrari keys, and you both make your way to the garage, Carlos presses the key and sees the dark blue Ferrari lights up. He gives you a look, and you grin.
"Do you want to drive?" You ask him.
"Yes, if you're okay with it."
"Of course, if I don't trust a race car driver to drive, who would I trust?" You tease him and get into the passenger side of the car. The 488 Pista is your baby. You only ever let Lisa drive it, but you trust Carlos to be careful. "Do you have an idea about where we could go?"
"Yes, don't think I didn't come prepared." Carlos said, and you laughed, you look out the window as the scenes changed. Carlos was driving close to the river.
"Be honest, you don't know where we're going." You say realising he’s gone in a circle.
“I don’t know, but we can just drive around.” Carlos admits, but it doesn’t sway him. You hum and agree. You sit in silence for a while with so many questions and possibilities going through your head. “You can ask me anything you want, I can hear you thinking.”
”Okay, but don’t regret it.” You warn him, and he laughs. You find yourself smiling as you watch him. It takes you a moment to find the first question to ask. “Did you stop coming on holidays and our families' meetings so you wouldn’t see me?”
”Yes, every time I saw you, I remembered what’s going to happen.” Carlos decided that being honest with you is the best thing that could happen. You’ve been lied to (by omission) for long enough.
“I’m sorry.” You suddenly felt guilty, even though you only just found out about it.
“Nothing to be sorry about, hermosa.” Carlos glances at you and smiles. “We’re both robbed into an agreement that was made way before we were even born.”
”Right, you said that you tried to get out of it. What do you mean?” You ask him, the first thing that came to your mind while talking to your parents is getting out of the agreement.
”It means that the contracts were signed and that if one of us breaks the contract, the other will be cut off by the families, financially and everything, we’d be publicly disowned.”
”Surely they wouldn’t do that.” You have problems with your parents, yes, but you love them, and they wouldn’t just throw you on the streets despite the usual threats from your mother.
”I’m afraid they would. Our parents want this marriage more than anything else.” Carlos says, and you groan, wanting to cry, as the reality of it all sets in.
”So we’re stuck?” Your voice wavers, Carlos looks at you and sees the tears gathering in your eyes. Carlos sports a parking spot, and he doesn’t care when he ilegaly overtakes the car beside him and parks. Carlos takes your hand in both of his much bigger ones. You look up at him, and a tear leaves your eye. You wipe it away and bite your bottom lip.
”We are, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing.” Carlos tries to comfort you the best he can. He was young and alone when he found out. He doesn’t want you to go through the same things as he did. “I’m going to try to make this as easy as I can, I know that you don’t want to get married to me, and you’re beautiful and amazing but I don’t want to get married to you, there’s nothing for us to do but try and make it easier for ourself.”
Tears leave your eyes, and you nod in agreement. You try to smile, but your lips wouldn’t even quirk up a little. Carlos is sympathetic; he's the only person who understands you right now. You’re both in the same boat.
“Have you thought about marriage before your birthday?” Carlos asked, he was hesitant, he dated knowing that it’s going nowhere, he’s never put his all in a relationship before, hasn’t given his heart to anyone, it may have not been fair to the women he’s been with but he protected his heart by keeping it close. Since you didn’t know it means you could’ve loved someone, hell, you could be in a relationship right now, you could be in love with someone and he’s forced to take you away from that person. Carlos may not want this marriage, but it’s happening, and he’ll be damned if he let his wife be with someone else. Call it toxic masculinity, call it possiveness, call it whatever you want, but from now on, you’re his. He feels bad for you, but it changes nothing.
”No, I haven’t, haven’t even been in a proper relationship.” You mutter and wipe the last of your tears away. You take your hand out of Carlos’s and look in your phone to see the state you’re in.
”I find that hard to believe.” Carlos is a tad bit suspicious. You’re beautiful. There’s no way a man hasn’t caught your attention yet.
”Well you best believe it, I wasn’t allowed to date when I was living with my parents, and then after, every person I was interested in just dropped me before anything happened.” You shrug and fix your hair, not looking at Carlos. You miss the look on his face. He knew what that meant, even if you had no idea. Your parents must have had a hand in this. He’s relieved, he doesn’t comment on this, and pulls out of the parking spot he was still parked in.
”You know what I find unfair?” You mumble, your head resting on the window as you stare at the city moving past.
“What?”
”That I was the last to know, you all knew and had time to come to terms with it and I’m expected to be okay with everything and get married by the end of the year or early next year.”
“None of this is fair, y/n.” He has a point, but it doesn’t make it better. There’s rage bubbling inside of you. You’re hurt, angry, betrayed, and it’s all simmering inside of you. “Hasn’t your parents called you?”
”My phone is on silent.” You comment and don’t make a move to check. “Have they called you?”
”I texted Ana and told her I’m with you.” You hum, and Carlos continues driving.
By the time Carlos drives back to your house, you’re both hungry. You don’t invite him up for food or drink, not wanting to spend any more time with him for the day. Carlos is nice. He’s caring, a true gentleman. You’re stuck within for the rest of your life, and you’d love to be as free as you can before you’re forced to be glued to him.
“Thank you for today.” You tell Carlos with a smile.
”No worries.” Carlos makes a move to get out of the car.
”Wait! you can keep the car while you’re here.” You feel bad making him take a car wherever he’s going next, and you have plenty, him having one for a few days will not affect you.
”Are you sure?” Carlos asks, you nod in confirmation. “Alright thank you, hermosa. Good night.”
”Good night.”
When you get to your apartment, you can see that your mum was there. She certainly went through your things, probably trying to figure out where you went. If you ever want to hide anything you know where to hide it, it’s your apartment, after all.
Looking at your phone, you wince seeing the 20+ pissed calls mostly from your mum. but a few from your father and the Sainzs as well. Your mum probably made them call you. You contemplate for a moment before you decide to bite the bullet and call her before she makes her way back to your house.
”y/n y/l/n, where have you been? Do you know how much i’ve called? Why are you ignoring me? This is so embarrassing, I can’t believe we’ve come to this!” Your mum goes on and on, you pull the phone away from your ear, and you still hear her voice screaming. It takes her a couple of minutes before she’s silent.
”Mum, I know that you know, I was with Carlos.” You tell her your tone nonchalant, pissing her off more. “This is what you wanted anyways, I’m spending my time with my ‘betrothed’.”
”So why didn't you just come? The Sainzs are leaving in a couple of days! You have to spend time with them.” She screams again, and you pinch between your eyes, feeling a headache coming in.
”I know them, okay? It’s not like you married me off to a strange family, I know them pretty well. The only person I don’t know is Carlos, and I spent the day with him, so win, win.” You try to reason with her.
”It’s not a win win-“
”Look, you and dad basically sold me before I was even born, and I was just told about it, I can do whatever I want, I’ll marry him but I’m entitled to be pissed off and go with getting to know him the way I want, goodbye and dont try to call me before next week because I wont answer.” With that, you hang up on her, leaning back. You fall onto your bed and close your eyes. “What a mess.”
To her credit, your mum lets you have your days, and she doesn’t call, but come next Monday, she calls you early in the morning. The Sainzs were out of the country, and your car was back in your garage with the keys left inside for you to take and a text from Carlos letting you know.
“When I said to not call until next week, I didn’t mean to call me at 6 in the morning on Monday!” You say answering the phone, Lisa goans and pushes you away. She spent the night at your house, you glare and get out of the bed, and head to the living room, leaving your friend to sleep before she has to get ready to head out.
”Oh be grateful, y/n.”
“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”
”I swear to god…” She mumbles a few things that aren’t that nice before she takes a deep breath to calm herself. You just have that effect on your mum. “Look, I just wanted to tell you that we decided the date for the engagement.”
”Wow, how nice of you to inform me of my engagement date.” You say sarcastically, rolling your eyes. “Do tell when will I be officially spoken for?”
”I’m choosing to ignore your tone-“
”You’re not ignoring if you’re pointing it out.”
”It’s in five weeks, I’ll send you the details.” You continue as if you haven’t interrupted her. “Carlos will get you tickets for the Italian Grand Prix in Imola, so be nice.”
”Why do I have to go there? there’s nothing about me having to make an appearance or act all lovey dovey with him.” You whine not understanding why they couldn’t just let you get married without all the show around it.
“Because, he’s a public figure, and we have to make it as natural as we can.” She was talking to you like you were a child, something that always irked you about her.
”Didn’t think of that when you all decided to force us into this, did you?”
”You better go to this Grand Prix and any other he gives you tickets for, do you understand?”
”I’m taking Lisa.”
“No you’re not!” You never understand what your mum has for your best friend.
”Yes I am!”
”No you’re not, Carlos is only sending you one ticket.” She’s seething right now. “Bye.”
You take a cushion, press it to your face, and scream, you scream and scream.
”What’s wrong with you?” Lisa asked stumbling out of the bedroom, half asleep.
”I’m going to Italy to see my future husband.”
”Oh.”
”Yes, oh.”
y/n
Can you send me two tickets 👉👈
please
Carlos
why? are you bringing a bf or smth?
y/n
ha ha
no ☠️
for Lisa, my friend
Carlos
your mum told me not to give you an extra one
y/n
and do you always listen to my mum
Carlos
no
that’s why I’m sending you an extra one
also I’ll make sure she has a room in our hotel
y/n
thanks
Carlos
no worries
see you in 9 days
y/n
9days!!!!
i didn’t know it was in 9 days
Carlos
woops
the race is on sunday
we have to be there on Wednesday for media on Thursday
y/n
cool
see you then I guess
Carlos
Wow don’t sound so excited to see me
y/n
go die 💀
Carlos
good beiging to this marriage
y/n
🖕
You fly with Lisa despite your mum's words. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her anyway. You didn’t see Carlos before Thursday, having reached the hotel and changed and went out to explore with Lisa. You girls had so much fun, you’ve never been to this part of Italy before.
On Thursday morning, you wake up to a knock on the door, you’re sharing with Lisa.
“y/n open the door.” Lisa isn’t a morning person, and it shows, you groan and get up to open the door, and it’s, surprise, surprise, Carlos.
”Morning.” You greet the spanish man with a sheepish smile.
”Morning, you guys have fun yesterday?” Carlos asked with a smirk. He saw Lisa on her bed behind you. The room was messy, and you’ve been here less than 24 hours.
”You can say that.” You say looking at the room over your shoulder before turning back to look at him. “When are we leaving?”
”In half an hour, just text me when you’re done, I’m already ready to go.” Carlos says and you notice the red team kit he’s wearing.
“Okay, I’ll see you in a bit.”
You get ready first, thankfully you showered the night before, so you just had to get dressed and do your make-up. When you text Carlos once you’re both ready, he tells you to come downstairs. You see him standing with a few people from his team, waking over with a smile on your face.
”Good morning everyone, sorry we kept you waiting.” You say trying to sound as polite as you can.
”No worries, hermosa, you’re just on time.” Carlos says, he wraps an arm around your waist and introduces you to everyone. “… and this is y/n, my girlfriend.”
Your smile wavers at the word but you don’t say anything. Getting in the car you sit in between Carlos and Lisa.
”Girlfriend?” You whisper and glare at him.
”What was I supposed to say? We’re getting engaged in a month.” Carlos whispers back and you sigh, leaning back in your chair crossing your arms. “I don’t like this as much as you do, but we have to play our parts.”
”Could’ve fooled me.” You mutter but say nothing else.
With sunglasses on, and Lisa following behind. You walk in with Carlos, he doesn’t hold your hand, but it doesn’t matter, cameras are snapping away at the two of you. This is all new to you, you’ve never had people trying to take pictures of you before.
”Just relax and act like they’re not there.” Carlos tells you, seeing how nervous you are, maybe he should’ve talked to you before you made your paddock debut. “Once we’re inside you can go and explore with Lisa.”
True to his word, Carlos showed you both where the Ferrari motorhome was and let you guys loose to explore.
“Who is that cutie?” Lisa asks seeing a picture of one of the drivers in orange.
”Don’t know.” You tell her not paying him much attention. “I feel like we should’ve done our research before we came.”
“True, but we’ve been to rally races before, how different could it be?” You give her a look and she shrugs. “Completely different, okay, I got it. We can research today, ooh look we can get merch!”
”Why do you want merch, we don't know anything about anything!” You say but get pulled by Lisa anyways, you do end up browsing with her, the sun was killing you, so you looked at all the different coloured hats. You go to the Ferrari ones and debat choosing either the 55 one or just the team ones.
”Hey, y/n, I’m paying, are you coming?” Lisa calls, you pick a hat and go to the cashier with her. “Supporting the team I see.”
”Stop, it’s hot and the sun is bothering me.” You defend yourself looking at the plain Ferrari hat.
”Whatever you say.” You gently push her away, making your friend fall into a fit of giggles. You couldn’t help but laugh with her.
You get ice cream and spend your time just entertaining yourselves. Carlos was busy filming for Ferrari and doing his interviews so you only saw him at lunch. Where he spent next to you but speaking with his trainer while you and Lisa were gossiping.
The ride back to the hotel saw you and Lisa tired, and silent.
“Looks like you tired yourselves out.” Carlos said and you just hummed. “I forgot to tell you at lunch, you know there’s hats with my number on them right?”
”I know.” You say and give him a playful smile. “It was right next to this one.”
The next day you spend more in the garage watching FP1 and FP2, you and Lisa tried to familiarise yourselves with everything that you researched the day before. Lisa did spend more time familiarising herself with the drivers. Watching the garage function, really made you appreciate everything more, it cemented how amazing this sport is.
At the end of of FP1 and FP2 Ferrari did better than they expected, the cameras flashed to the garage a few times, showing Alex, Charles girlfriend and they flashed to you at one point, but there was no name or anything under you.
The ride back to the hotel was more lively this time around, you’ve done your homework when it came to Formula 1 but you still have so many questions, so taking that time you ask Carlos about whatever came to your mind, and it seems that there’s still so much that you don’t know about.
”…drivers in the simulator at the factory overnight, going over all the data and all the possibilities.” Carlos was explaining, you were listening and nodding to his words as you’re starting to understand just the magnitude of the sport.
“Girl, check Twitter.” Lisa says interrupting your conversation, you lean over to look at her phone, and on her feed are pictures taken from your Instagram, with your name and age written for everyone to see.
”Looks like the online detective found my Instagram.” You comment and roll your eyes, not even wanting to know what they’re saying about you.
“That’s faster than I expected.” Carlos, thought that it would take them more time, since you’re not a public figure in any way.
“You underestimate the power of the fans.” You say and sigh. “It wouldn’t have been that hard, my family is linked to yours, and if anyone did any simple digging they’d find me on your sisters' Instagrams.”
”I guess that’s true.” Carlos took out his phone and opened Instagram. “What’s your username?”
”y/insta/n, but you’d have to unblock me first before you drop a follow.” Carlos freezes at your words, you let out a laugh and bump your shoulder with his teasingly. You watch as he types it in and unblocks you, only to find himself blocked, he turns to look at you with raised eyebrows. “What? You blocked me first.”
You take out your phone and see the amount of notification on Instagram, will have to turn them off for sure. You unblock Carlos and follow him, and he does the same.
”You guys just confirmed to everyone that you’re dating.” Lisa informed you and you gave her a sarcastic smile and a thumbs up. “So Carlos… are you friends with Lando?”
This makes you burst out laughing, only your friend would ask something like that to a guys she barely knows.
”Yeah, I’m having dinner with him today.” Carlos says and Lisa looks at you with wide eyes and pouting lips. You grimace and look at Carlos who was smirking.
“y/nnnnn.” Lisa whines and takes your hand in hers, you look at her and sigh. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She hugs you before turning to Carlos. “When are you meeting him?”
“At 7.”
“We'll be ready before that.”
And so Lisa robbed you into a dinner with your future husband and one of his friends, you were not in the mood for acting all lovey-dovey with Carlos. Nonetheless, you get dressed in one of your dresses, fix your hair and touch up your make-up. Carlos does text you and say that you’re all going to a nearby restaurant, that’s private.
Carlos was waiting for you guys downstairs when you were done. His eyes ran from your hair down to your feet, taking you in. He noticed how much you liked dresses and how good they look on you. You’re always in some type of heels or chunky sneakers, giving your height a boost. But his mind goes back to when he was in our apartment and how short you are compared to him, he has to clear his throat and look away for a second to stop his mind from wandering too much.
Carlos leads you to the car, you sit in the passenger seat with Lisa in the back and of course Carlos is driving. The music is turned on low and a small chatter is happening between the three of you.
The three of you get out of the car once Carlos parks, he finds his place by your side even though Lisa is talking to you. You don’t notice his hand in the air behind your back before it drops to his side clenching. Carlos did not expect the possessiveness that’s ignited in him each time he sees you, you’re doing something in him unknowingly and it frustrates him how unbothered and unaffected you are.
The hostess lead you to a table at the back, Carlos pulls your chair for you and takes the one next to you after you’ve sat down. Lando arrives a few minutes later, he quickly greets Carlos warmly, before he turns to you.
”And you’re y/n?” Lando asks you smile and nod.
”Yes, it’s lovely to meet you.” You say, Lando gives a small and not all there smile before he turns to Lisa and greets her, he sits across from Carlos and next to your friend.
”So Carlos told me he was your first teammate, how was he like?” Lisa asked trying to start a conversation.
”Uh, he was great, couldn’t ask for a better teammate to have at the start of my Formula 1 journey.” You could tell how close the two are, how much love and respect they have for each other. “Yeah, Carlos is super nice to those he’s not forced to be with.” You know then that he knows about what’s going on between you and Carlos, for one you don’t have to act which is a good thing for you. Carlos gives Lando a look. “What? I said nothing.”
The waiter comes and takes your orders, before leaving.
”So, y/n, what do you do?” Lando asked, it looked like had his sights on you for the day.
”I’m still studying.” You say and give Lando the fakest smile you could master.
“And what do you plan after that?” Lando may have seemed slick and just interested in what his friends 'girlfriend' is like but it's not working on you, or the other two on the table.
“Don't know, still have time to decide.” You shrug and look at Lisa who didn't may have just lost all her interest in Lando.
“How does a housewife or gold digger soun-”
“Oh my god!” Lisa exclaimed and leaned away from Lando as if he'll contaminate her if she stayed close.
“Get off it Lando.” Carlos was not happy, he told Lando not for him to torment you, but to share his worries with a friend.
“Its okay Carlos.” You say with a sickly sweet smile and pat his hand on the table where it clenched, before you turned to Lando. “Since we're all adults here, and we all know what's going on, why don't you say whatever you want to say to me Lando.”
“Hermosa.”
“Honestly Carlos, it's fine, we don't know each other that well, but best assured I can take care of myself and I'm not easily bothered.” You tell him and he sighs and leans back in his chair in defeat. You gesture for Lando to go on.
“Look, Carlos is my friend, and I don't like him being forced into this by your family.” Lando starts, he's moving his hand as he speaks. “I don't understand why you're going along with it! Why can't you look for a way out? Carlos has dreams and he's on top of his career right now he doesn't need this.”
“I understand that you care for your friend Lando, I truly do, which is why I'm not taking any of those to heart.” You tell him and tap your fingers on the table as you pause for a second your eyes giving him a once over, noticing his blazing eyes wanting to just erase you from existence. “But while you were thinking about Carlos, Lisa was also thinking about me, asking why did his family make this happen? Why couldn't he find a way out of this?” You see him opening his mouth to reply. “No, you had your turn now it's my turn. I also have dreams, I also want to do things and I don't want to be stuck in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life. Me and Carlos, we're like pawns in this, we have no say, so don't you dare judge me, you have no idea what's it to be in my position.”
“This whole thing is just a big fat lie!” Lando exclaimed, and your eyes are no longer kind, they're no longer brought and light. You're angry, you're agitated.
“Well this big fat lie is my life! It's my reality!” This takes Lando by surprise, it looks like for the first time Lando sees you and he takes you in. The intensity of his gaze softening as he watched you. His shoulders slumped slightly, the anger draining from his face, replaced by a weary sadness.
“Look, I’m sorry.” He said quietly, his voice now devoid of its earlier harshness. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you. I just... I care about Carlos. He’s like an older brother to me. I want him to be happy.”
You blink, taken aback by his sudden change in tone you take a deep breath, the tension in your body easing slightly. “I understand, Lando. I want him to be happy too. But this is bigger than both of us. We’re all caught in this web, and there’s no way out. The only things we can do, is try to make the best of this situation we found ourselves in.”
You give Lando an olive branch smile, he returns it with one of his own although it was tinged with sadness. “I just... I don’t want to see my friend miserable.”
“Neither do I,” you replied softly. “Neither do I.”
As the tension between you eased, Lisa smiled.
“Well, that was intense.” Lisa said giving you a look of encouragement, you just give her a nod. “Looks like my choice in men hasn't gotten better.”
“What? What are you talking about?” Lando asked her confusedly, clearly Carlos hadn't told him that Lisa was interested in him.
“You do know that the reason we're having dinner with you is because I told Carlos I wanted to meet you, right?”
Those two biker and speak sarcastically to each other as they begin to get to know each other.
Carlos takes your hand under the table and gives it a squeeze, you look at him, only to find him already looking at you.
“Every time I see you, you surprise me.” Carlos mutters and you smile teasingly.
“Have to keep you on your toes somehow.”
“Then please don't stop.”
The night ends on a good note and a new number in Lisa's phone.
You go to a few races after that, always seen with Carlos, your relationship already confirmed to the public and it became well known that you've known each other since you were kids. Carlos ‘accidently’ said that you've been together for over a year, so when the engagement is announced it wouldn't be a big shock. Otherwise your life hasn't changed much, something that is bound to happen the moment there's a ring on your finger.
The fans thankfully fell in love with the story of young, childhood friends, losing contact then meeting years later and falling in love. And you were real in all the ways you could with the fans and cameras, that rebellious streak you have, has been noticed and noted by fans. And they love you all the more for it.
The Spanish Grand Prix is where you’re headed to next. Your family was also in Spain for the event, and it’s the last Grand Prix you’ll be attending before your engagement is announced.
You were staying at the Sainzs’ house, where you always stay when you’re in Spain. Eating breakfast there before heading out to the paddock, it became a family affaire, you have no idea how his team managed to get him this many passes, but home races are different after all.
”My mum has been hounding me those last few days.” You complain to Carlos as you walk through the paddock together, him in Ferrari Kit and you in a red dress and a red Ferrari hat, no number still.
“She’s just stressed about the engagement.” Carlos tells you and slows down just enough so you could walk in front of him through the crowd of people, his hand makes it way to the small of your back. His hand is big and hot on your back, it has you suppressing a shiver.
“Highly doubt this is the reason.” You tell the Spanish man now by your side, his hand not moving from the small of your back as he leads you around the paddock, you’re not even focusing on your destination just letting him take you wherever he wants.
”My mum has also been stressed.” Carlos forever trying not to make your mum a bad person in your eyes, but you know her well enough to know how she is.
”Carlos, your mum and my mum may be friend but they’re completely different.” You tell him and meet his eyes for a second, in that second Carlos thought he saw some sadness in your eyes, but he can’t be sure. “There’s a reason I always spend time with Anna at your family house and not mine.”
”And here I thought you just like the Spanish heat.” Carlos teased and you bump your shoulder with his. “But don’t mind her too much, in a few days she’ll be back home and you’ll be free from her.”
”True.” You mutter and take a deep breath, slowly releasing it. You reach the Ferrari garage from the back, and Carlos leads you through the hospitality and to his driver’s room, the one that has his bed. You walk in and see a beautiful bouquet of flowers, tulips to be precise. “Ohh look someone got you flowers.”
You walk over to the tulips admiring them, they’re your favourite kind. You touch the petals and take in a whiff of the scent, Carlos stands by the door smiling, the sun coming in from the windows leaving you glowing.
”They’re for you.” Carlos leans on the door and shameless stares at you, your head snaps to look at him.
”What?” You want to make sure you heard him correctly.
”I got them for you, Anna said they’re your favourite.” Carlos watched as the smile on your face grew bigger and he saw a side to you that he never did before, a blush dusts your cheeks and you look… shy. It makes him proud of his decision to get you flowers.
”They are? What’s the occasion?” You ask him, holding the flowers in your arms.
”No occasion, just wanted to give you something that will lift your spirits.” Carlos’s gaze didn’t waver from your form, but the smile on your face made him smile.
”Well, consider them lifted.” You look at Carlos and walk up to him. “Thank you.”
You wrap an arm around his neck careful of the bouquet in between you. Carlos hugs you loosely, he takes in your scent. The smell of your shampoo and perfume filling his nose, you’re in feels making your reach that bit easier. You both stand there for a moment before you pull back still smiling. You don’t think you’ve ever gotten flowers from anyone before.
So you best believe you’ve taken a million pictures of them, some made their way onto your Instagram story. With those flowers Carlos made you happier than any jewellery your family got you, it’s something so simple but makes you the happiest.
After the end of the Grand Prix and before your parents have to leave, they’re sticking around for two days. For the engagement of course.
You were with Anna in her room, laying on her bed as she did something on her desk. She was telling you about a new drama happening in her friend group.
”y/n.” Carlos calls your name coming in the room, you sit up and look at him.
”What?” You ask him tilting your head to the side slightly.
”Let’s go.” Carlos said simply and that confused you even more.
”Where?”
”Just come, or your mum will be all over us in a few minutes.” Carlos knew exactly what to say, you were off the bed and out of the room in seconds, just stopping in yours long enough to take your purse. Carlos lead your to his matt grey Ferrari, you get in the passenger seat and it doesn’t take long before Carlos drives off.
”Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” You ask the Spaniard besides you. “Or are you going to tell me you know where we’re going, but in fact you’ll be lost and we’ll just drive around?”
”Hey, it was only one time.” Carlos defends himself, you smile and look out the window trying to see where you’re going. “I’m just taking us to my house, we can have a moment alone before…”
Carlos trails off but you know what he means, before the engagement is out for everyone to know about. It’s your first time at his house, the house is big and as you walk in, it screams Carlos. A bit man cave-y, but still him.
”Do you want anything to drink?” Carlos asked, walking into the kitchen, leaving you to look around as you like.
”No thank you, I’m sure we’ll be drinking enough once we’re back.” You tell him and look at the few pictures he has up on the walls. You’re looking at a painted F1 Ferrari on the wall when Carlos comes back to you. “I always wonder what it's like driving that fast.”
“Very thrilling and adrenaline pumping.” Carlos says and you turn to look at him, there’ a glint in your eyes that he’s familiar with nowadays.
”You’re lucky my parents didn’t let me get into karting, or you’d have some serious competition.” You tease and walk around him to the sofa, you plop down and it just sucks you in. “This sofa is so comfy.”
”I bet you’d be , would have my money on you anyways.” Carlos joins you on the sofa and looks at your relaxed state, he likes seeing you here, in his house. He hates what he’ll say next seeing how comfy you are right now, but this talk has been long overdue. “I think we need to talk about a few things.”
“I guessed so.” You say and sit straighter, pulling your legs up on the sofa and to your chest, your hands around your legs, head on your knees as you look at Carlos.
”With the engagement things will become different, more media will be all over you, a lot of things will be said, a lot of speculation.” Carlos wants you to be as ready as you could, he’s heard and seen what it does to wags and he doesn’t want you to be affected by it. “I know you’re strong and can take care of yourself but just be ready.”
”I will, don't worry.” You can tell there’s more to come, Carlos is just taking it easy to start. “Now tell me what you really wanted to talk about.”
”We live in different countries, and I don’t want to make you come live in Spain if you don’t want to, but for this to work, I think it’s best you stay here, whenever I’m here, You still have another two years at university, so I wouldn't want you to move in right away, but just when you can.”
”I’ve been thinking about that, and uh after the wedding, I can switch to online school.” You tell him meeting his eyes, Carlos looks surprised, you chuckle and shake your head lightly. “It’s getting boring anyways, people keep asking me about you when I go. Plus there’s so many countries I haven’t been to yet, that you travel to for racing.”
”I’ll take you wherever you want to go.” Carlos promises and you grin.
”You know, I’m a trust fund baby right?” Carlos raises his arms in defeat and you smile. “You can pay for my cars to be shipped here.”
”Okay, wow, I see how it is.” The tone turns serious once more. “I never said I was sorry about all this.”
”You most definitely don’t have to, this wasn’t in our hands, there’s nothing we can do about it.” You move closer to Carlos and pat his hand in comfort. “And if it’s of any comfort, I’m glad it’s you and not some asshole.”
”I’m glad it’s you too.”
”See, we only have to look at the bright side of things.” You both stay silent for a moment, your hands right next to each other. “Have you chosen the ring yet?
”Yeah, yeah, I have it.” This gets Carlos moving, he disappears to a different room, before he comes back with a velvet box in hand. Carlos sits next to you, your knees almost touching and angles himself to you. He opens the box and there’s a beautiful three stones ring all round cut, with small diamonds on the band.
”It’s beautiful.” You say smiling, it doesn’t feel like your ring, you’ve never been engaged before but you know this is not the feeling you were supposed to have. This isn’t how you’d always imagined your engagement to go. It’s all real now.
”Do you want me to…” Carlos wants to ask before he trails off, he takes in the look on your face, a tight lip smile and teary eyes, you bite your lips and scrunch your nose for a moment, trying to keep them at bay.
”No it’s alright.” You mumble and take the rings out the box and slip it on to your ring finger, it fits you perfectly, a few tears slip from your eyes, and unlike many it’s not from happiness, it’s sadness, you were robbed of a proposal, of dating, of loving, or choosing.
”I’m so sorry, y/n, truly, I wish I had found a way out of this.” Carlos tells you sincerely, you take a deep breath brushing your tears away and you lean over and hug him, Carlos doesn’t hesitate before he hugs you back, you both need this. This hug means a lot to the both of you.
“Stop apologising, please.” Your voice is muffled as you hide your face in his shoulder, he holds you tighter. You don’t know how long you’ve sat there for before you pull back with a fake and weak smile. “I should take a few pictures for Instagram, before we have to head back.”
Carlos watches you as you go through the motions with no real emotion behind your action. It’s something you have to do.
The drive back is silent as you try to control all your emotions, there’s still more pictures you have to take, more smiling, more laughter. When you walk in, your mum is the first to notice the new addition on your finger, she squeals s if she had no idea it will happen today. They all congratulate you like this has been your choice all along. You just say thank you and smile. They pose you and Carlos for pictures, they take turns standing in and having group pictures taken, you and Carlos just go along with everything.
Wine bottles have been popped and drinks were passed around, Carlos didn’t drink knowing he’d drive back to his house. He’s made to sit next to you and Anna takes your other side. He’s happy talking with you both and not stuck with the others. His older sister and husband are not here for the occasion.
Your parents seemed to have drunk more than they could handle as you can see your mum getting tipsy and then drunk. You pay them no attention until something is said that has all your attention on them.
“-I mean we worked so hard to push them away from her, my y/n so beautiful.” Your mum says and you stare at her in horror, Reyes tipsy but still more sober tries to gets your mum to stop, but once she began there was no stopping her. “All those boys we paired off to stay away from her, and we tried to get her to go to a race for so long, but she’s just so stubborn, oh god, I’m so happy, can’t wait for her to get married, who knew who’d bring if we didn’t do that, always rebellious-“
”I’m glad you’re happy.” You mutter glaring at your parents, before you get up and storm out of the room, your mood changing so much throughout the day. So many ups and downs, more downs though.
“y/n, wait!” A few people shout after you, you don’t stop, you know someone is following you out of the house but you don’t even glance to see who it is.
”Hermosa, wait!” Carlos calls for you, you don’t stop but slow down as he reaches you. “I won’t try to defend her this time, but do you want to stay at my house tonight?”
You just nod, unable to gather your strengths to speak. Once more you get in Carlos's car and he drives you to his house in complete silence. Carlos knew about the agreement long before you did, he was allowed to date and explore meanwhile, you were watched and robbed of those experiences. Feeling as if though none likes you, that you're unlikable, unattractive.
Carlos leads you through the house to his bedroom. “I'll get you some clothes and you can shower if you want, the bathroom is right there.”
You just nod and go into the bathroom, Carlos brings you a shirt and a pair of shorts. “thanks.” You mumble. Carlos stands at the door for a sword debating what to say if anything, before he leaves you.
You strip out of your clothes, and hop in the shower, the water is hot on your skin but you don't care, you just stand there and the tears start leaving your eyes. They disappear with the water down the drain leaving no trace of them.
Carlos is texting his sister, on his bed when he hears your sobs. He feels so bad for you, your family has gone about everything so wrong. They've so set on reaching their end goal, and didn't care about what it would do to you in the process. His family isn't that much better, but between the two of you, he's had it much better.
And all he can do now is sit and hear you cry, there's nothing he can do to make it better.
The water stops, and you're no longer crying, but you don't come out for a while. Carlos gets a notification that you posted on Instagram, yes he has your post notification on. He opens it to see a picture of the two of you at his family’s house. your hand on his chest with the ring visible for everyone to see, his hands are on your waist as you both smile at the camera. You also post a story of the engagement ring, with fake words that mean nothing to him.
He looks up once he hears the bathroom door open, and even if you were just crying, seeing you in his clothes has him wanting to pull you closer. The clothes are big on you, the shirt hiding most of the shorts, that you must've pulled the string off so much to get them to fit your waist.
“You don't have any conditioner.” You tell him acting as if you haven't just spent half an hour crying in the bathroom.
“Yea, uh, sorry, I don't use conditioner.” Carlos says and blinks a few times, you're busy towel drying your hair to notice his eyes on you.
“You don't use conditioner? How is your hair always so… Soft and fluffy then?” You finish with the towel and look at him.
“Good genes I guess.” You nod to his words. “You can sleep here, I'll take the guest bedroom.”
“No way, this is your room, I'm not taking it from you.” Carlos walks Closer and places his hand on your shoulders, from this close he couldn't see how red your eyes are.
“Just please, take it, the bed is comfier here.”
“But-”
“For me, please.” Your eyes don't stray from his, and you see the sincerity in them, so you reluctantly nod.
“Okay, yeah, thank you.” You mumble and look down.
“No worries, hermosa.” Carlos kisses your cheek softly, and leaves you standing there. Your eyes has gone wide, his lips leaving a tingling feeling in their wake. Your cheeks are red and your heart is beating fast in your chest.
“What are you doing to me?” You ask yourself, before you shake your head and head to bed.
Laying in his bed, under his covers on his pillows leaves you feeling as if you're being hugged by him. He's all you can smell, as if he's right there next to you, and maybe that's why you fell asleep so easily.
The next morning you wake up to the scent of pancakes, making your way to the kitchen you see a shirtless Carlos moving around. He doesn’t notice straight away, so you take the time to appreciate his physique. You know he’s fit, he’s an F1 driver for goodness sake. Seeing him there in front of you, with no fireproofs or anything is another things. His shoulders, strong arms, thick neck and chest down to his abs and then the v line leading into his pants, it all got you feeling hot.
”Morning.” You eventually manage to say and walk closer to see what he’s doing and not stare him to death.
”Good morning, did you sleep well?” Carlos asked turning to look at you.
”Yeah, slept like a baby.” You tell the taller man, rounding the counter to see if there’s anything. you can do to help. “Do you need help with anything?”
”No, I got it, almost done.” Carlos says and waves you to the other side of the counter to sit on one of the island chairs. “Have you seen your phone yet today?”
”No, it died, I need to charge it.” You tell him. “Why? Is the internet on fire yet?”
”Just about, best not check your social media or maybe restrict your comments for a while.” Carlos doesn’t meet your eye, which has you chuckling, he looks at you confused.
”I won’t be doing any of that, I don’t care, it doesn't matter how real our relationship is, no one has a right to say anything about who you're with.” You say and thank him for the food he placed in front of you.
“Still I don’t want you to be subjected to any of that.” You shrug and take a bite of the fluffy pancakes.
“These are so good.” You tell the diver and take another bite, Carlos is proud of himself, he loves cooking and what he loves more is cooking for other people.
“Eat as much as you want.”
”Oh, I will.”
You don’t log onto your social media until you’re back i your home with Lisa, she’s been telling you what people have been saying about you and you’ve both have been laughing about it.
”There’s a lot of baby trapping allegations going around.” Lisa says and you look over her shoulder and scoff.
”As if I’ll ever do that.” You say before you suddenly get an idea. “I have an idea.”
“Ohh, talk dirty to me.” Lisa of course was all for it, she raided your skin care drawer, getting face masks for you both to put on. You get a Ferrari wine bottle out and you both head to the bathroom, putting on the face masks before you pose in front of the mirror with the bottle clearly opened.
”beating the allegations one at a time.” Lisa says as she looks over the picture you take a sip of the wine. “I love this for us.”
In the months after the engagement a lot has happened, you’ve made more appearances at the paddock always with the ring on your finger. Lisa always came with or Anna and you’d spend the night with one of them, keeping the appearance that you're staying with Carlos to everyone else. The fans have been in uproar about everything for a couple months, but things have calmed down, Lisa and you have found ways to always prove the rumors wrong. And maybe Lisa had other reasons to attend races now, that didn't have to do anything with you.
Meanwhile wedding plans have commenced, the parents decided on a winter wedding in Spain, it'll be at the beginning of Carlos's winter break, you left everything for the Sainzs to plan with the help of your family, the only thing you refused is them choosing your wedding dress, or even seeing it. You've been to so many wedding dresses shops, which ever country you find yourself in you'd go to the shops. You've tried on so many dresses in so many styles. Trying to find the perfect one for you.
It took time but you did find the one, standing in front of the mirror alone. You felt it. You may have not given much thought to your wedding before you knew about the arrangement but this is your dream dress. It was just perfect. Everything you wanted and more. It needed little alterations, you just need to do a couple fittings, which you will fly to do before it'll be delivered to Carlos's house in Spain.
Things with Carlos have remained the same, you didn't spend a lot of time alone, which may be in part to you always dragging someone with you, even Lando has accompanied you both on a couple occasions, the Briton has warmed up to you and was one of the few invited to the wedding. You always trash talk your parents with Lando, Carlos always looking disappointed at the two of you whenever you did that, but you did it anyways.
It all went by too fast, it was the day of your wedding, despite the winter air, the sun was out it was a little warmer than most of Europe. You tried on your dress a couple of weeks back at Carlos's house and from the gasps his sisters and Lisa had done, he almost barged in to see the dress for himself. It did take a lot for him to not go into the guest bedroom where you kept it for him to see. He told himself he'll see it soon enough.
And soon became very soon, when he stood in his tux at the end of the alter, no groomsmen, no bridesmaids. A choice you fought your mum on, but in the end you had what you wanted. You had no one but Lisa, and even if Carlos had many friends he could choose form, he respected every decision you made and choose for the wedding.
The music started playing and everyone turned to look and there you were, an angle, lights coming from behind you illuminating you. Oh how beautiful you looked, with a simple make-up look, hair up in a beautiful updo, minimal jewelry all to accentuate the beauty of your dress. The lace, the vale, how the dress hugged your figure, it was all perfect. Soft gasps sounded around the hall as you became in full view.
A soft but timid smile on your face, your hand clutching your dad's as he led you down the aisle, it was all happening now, there's no going back. This is it. You saw Carlos and he looked amazing in his tux, his hair pushed back but not jelled, he definitely refused any products be put in his hair. He looked handsome, his eyes were on you the whole walk and even after you were standing in front of him, he still didn't stray his gaze from you. You're all he can see.
The ceremony goes by, and your smile falters when you have to say I do. You looked up at Carlos with tear filled eyes, as he leaned in and pecked your lips, it only lasted a couple seconds, as everyone clapped and cheered, well almost everyone. Both your friends that knew how you both didn't want to, only clapped halfheartedly.
Carlos pulled you in for a hug, you returned it closing your eyes to keep the tears at bay.
"I promise I'll be good to you, and I'll be loyal." Carlos whispered in your ear and you clutched his suit harder. "I know how hard this is for you, and I'll try to be a good husband to be everything you ever wished for, I don't want you to feel stuck and unhappy."
"Thank you, I promise I'll do the same, we're in this together." You were grateful for his words, he's said it in a way that made you feel heard and felt, something that your family failed to make you feel.
The reception was wild, if you say so yourself, you changed into another dress with no train and easier to move around in. You had a first dance with Carlos, you were surprised with how good he is at dancing.
"Didn't know you could dance so well." You told him after he twirled you around and then pulled you back in.
"I'm a smooth operator after all." You giggle at his words and that makes him smile, he's succeeded in getting a smile out of you that was genuine. Lando and Lisa were watching the two of you from their table.
"You know, this may have all been a bad agreement, but I think they'll be alright." Lando told Lisa and she hummed looking at you both.
"Yeah, I think so, bad beginning but good ending." She only hoped. "You know what I think?"
"What?" Lando looked away form his friend and his new wife, and at Lisa.
"I think if the parents hadn't arranged this whole thing, they would've been dating for a long time and that they would've ended together anyways." Lisa observed and Lando thought about it for a moment, before he too agreed with her. If only they did nothing.
The celebration went through the night, a lot of dancing and drinking happening all around. Too much had happened but it didn't seem that long before you and Carlos got in the back of a car heading for his house where you'd be spending the night before heading to your honeymoon. You were so tired from the day and you haven't been sleeping well the days leading up to the wedding.
"You look tired." Carlos said in the nicest tone ever, you turn your head over the headrest not even wanting to left your own head, and look at him with the most tired smile he has ever seen.
"Yeah, I haven't been sleeping well, and the day has been so long." You tell him and he agrees with you.
Once you're at the house you open the door and there's Carlos already on your side with his hand out to help you out of the car. You walk into his house and kick your heels off sighing at the feeling, finally having them flat on the ground.
"You wear heels way too much." Carlos says seeing how relieved you look with them off.
"Excuse me, Mr. 178 cm, but not all of us are blessed with height." You say and take the glass of water
Carlos had for you. "Thank you."
"No worries." You both stand there in the kitchen for a couple minutes. "I think we should head to bed, we're leaving in a few hours."
"Yeah, good idea."
You went to the guest bedroom, where you had your clothes and everything set up. A suite case set to the side for the honeymoon.
Now you were zipped in your dress by Lisa, what you didn't take in mind is how hard it is to unzip it yourself. Try as you can, you couldn't unzip the first part. It took you 15 minutes to finally decide to go and ask Carlos for help. You stand in front of his bedroom door and debate knowing before you do it, you can't sleep in your dress and you're in a desperate need of a shower. You don't wait long before the door is opened and a naked Carlos with a towel wrapped around his lower half meets your eyes. Your eyes trail over his still wet torso all the way to his face where water drops from his hair.
"Is everything okay, hermosa?" Carlos asks feeling happy with your eyes on him.
"Uh-wh-yeah, yes." You manage together yourself to ask. "I can't unzip my uh, my dress, I need help."
"Just give me a second to wear some pants." Carlos gets into his closet and closes that door, you walk in
a little and look at yourself in the full length mirror he has in his room, your makeup has lasted the whole day, but you can start to see the dark circles under them, you can't help but take in your look, your hair no longer in an updo, it's loose around your head.
Carlos opens the door and comes out in a pair of shorts, you glance at him through the mirror and he walks right up behind you. He gently moves your hair to the side over your shoulder, you're playing with your fingers a little, as the tension rose in the room. As delicate as he could, Carlos took a hold of the small zipper and pulled down. You held your breath as you watched his focused face, he was looking at your skin as more of it came in view, drinking you in. After he's done, his hands fall by his side and he meets your eyes in the mirror.
"All done." He breathed out, you nod and say a timid thank you before you leave the room, his eyes not leaving your back. Closing the door behind you, you lean on it for a second breathing in. Before you head back to your room.
You manage to get a few hours of sleep, before you have to get up to get ready to head to the airport.
Your dad gave you a jet as a wedding present, something you rolled your eyes at when he did, but you're thankful for now, the privacy is something you're grateful for. You're dressed in a white sweat set with the hood up covering your hair and part of your face, no make-up on and nothing done to your hair.
You made small talk with Carlos during the plane, talking about your wedding and how stupid some people were, the dresses some women wore and just gossiping. There was something so domestic about it, you and Carlos interact like any friends would... mostly. Because for you, you've come to enjoy his company, you've come to look for him in a crowed. He gives you the best hugs, and he's always so attentive to your wants and needs before you even verbalise them. In the few months you've gotten to know each other he's understood you in a way no one else did.
Arriving in the Bali, there’s a car waiting for you at the airport, the pick up and drop off were good. Carlos was the one responsible for booking the honeymoon, so besides the destination you have no idea what you will be doing. The resort has a few cabins out on the water, and that’s what Carlos booked for the two of you. He quickly handles check in and gets the keys, before you’re lead to the cabin with someone brining the bags for you.
Carlos opens the door, you see the water out the windows, the cabin is in the middle of the clear water, and there are windows all around the back. It looked like you’d be sleeping in the middle of the sea. You walk straight to the back opening the floor to ceiling glass door to the terrace.
“This looks amazing.” You tell Carlos and a gust of wind comes over you and you smile.
“I’m glad you like it.” It was hard for Carlos to choose a destination, his mum insisted that you two go on a honeymoon, she said it’ll do you some good, you wouldn’t be able to escape from each other so you’ll get to know the other person well. She said it’ll be a good start to the marriage. “There’s only one problem.”
”What?” You ask and turn to look at Carlos and see where he’s looking. “Oh.” There’s one bed. ”It’s alright I guess, we’re not strangers.” You weren’t confident in your words but there’s nothing you can do now.
”I guess, I don’t have anything planned for today.” Carlos tells you and takes a broader look at the cabin. “Thought we might be tired, we can go explore or get into the water.”
”Exploring sounds fun, we can get in the water early tomorrow or something.”
You both change from the airport clothes, into something you’d be comfortable to walk in, so no heels for you.
The island sounded and looked so peaceful, you really commend Carlos on his choice. Your phone was out as you snapped pictures of the lovely scenes, the animals moving in the trees once you reached the forested area of the island you’re in. You managed to find a small restaurant to have a late lunch in.
”When do you have to start dieting and working out for the next season?” You asked Carlos curiously.
”I keep training through the break, but it gets intense two weeks or so before the season starts.” Carlos says and you nod, taking a bite of your food.
”That’s good, what do you have planned for the next four days?” You ask curious.
”We’re going snorkelling tomorrow, and we can go for a swim in some waterfalls.” Carlos starts listing the things he’s planned out for you both to do. “The next day we can go surfing and diving, third day we can go nicking and there’s a hot air balloon we can take, the fourth day we can cycle through the rice fields and around the island, and there’s a lot of clubs we can go to any day once it’s dark.”
”Sounds like fun.” You say and close your eyes relaxing for a moment.
After lunch you and Carlos continue on your little exploration trip before you decide to head back to the cabin. Carlos calls dibs on showering first, so you face the plant on the bed and before you realise it you’re asleep.
Carlos comes out of the bathroom and chuckles once he sees the state you’re in, you’re laying across the bed, your feet in the air, you look so out of it. Carlos looks for an extra blanket and sets it aside, before he moves to the bed and contemplates how to move you without waking you up. He didn’t have to worry though, you were so tired you didn’t feel him moving you so you’d be lying on the bed right, with your head on the pillow before he threw the blanket on top of you.
It takes you around an hour before you wake up, it takes you a second to realise where you are, sitting up you see the last rays of the sun in the distance, and Carlos sitting on the terrace with his legs hanging down touching the water. His back facing you. You get up and make your way to him. You sit beside him and give him a sleepy smile.
”Why didn’t you wake me?” You ask him taking the breathtaking view in front of you.
”It looked like you needed all the sleep you could get.” Carlos hummed, you sat there in silence, both not knowing what to say. “You want to shower before we head out for dinner?”
”Yeah, I’ll go now.”
Dinner had been a delightful yet slightly awkward affair. The resort's open-air restaurant overlooked the ocean, offering a stunning view that momentarily distracted them from their nerves. They had chosen a table near the edge, where they could watch the waves crash against the shore. The food was good and they both had a few glasses of alcohol. The walk back was peaceful with the night air, the wind and the distant sound of the waves crashing.
You and Carlos stood in the doorway to the cabin. The sound of the ocean created a soothing background melody. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves. you glanced at Carlos, who seemed just as hesitant as she felt. You had been through a whirlwind of events that led you here, to your honeymoon in Bali, sharing a bed for the first time.
“Well, I guess this is it,” You said, your voice tinged with nervousness. “Our first night here.”
Carlos looked at you, then at the bed that dominated the centre of the room.
“Yeah, it is. Bali is beautiful, isn’t it?” You allowed yourself a small smile.
“It really is. I’ve always wanted to come here.”
“Same here,” Carlos replied, trying to ease the tension. “I never thought it would be on a honeymoon, though.”
You laughed softly, a sound that made Carlos’s heart feel lighter.
“Yeah, life has a way of surprising us.” Carlos glanced at the bed again, then back at you.
“So, um, the bed. It’s... big enough, right?”
You blushed slightly, your cheeks turning a delicate shade of pink. “Yeah, it looks comfortable. I guess we can... just stay on our own sides?”
“Sure, that sounds good.” Carlos nodded. “I mean, unless you’d want to have it and I can sleep on the floor, I don’t mind.”
”No, no, we’re adults, we can share a bed.” You say shaking your head no. “Can’t let the Formula 1 driver have back pain.”
”A few nights wouldn't hurt me.” You give Carlos a look and he laughs. “But I’ll happily sleep on the bed.”
“So much has happened in the last few months.” You say and sit on the edge of the bed, despite telling him it’s okay to sleep in the same bed, you still feel awkward about it. “We’ve come a long way in these few months.”
“Yeah, we have.” Carlos joined you, sitting down next to you on the bed. “I’ve enjoyed our conversations and... your company.”
“Me too.” You smile, a genuine warmth in your eyes. “You’re not as bad as I thought you’d be.”
“High praise!” Carlos laughed, a sound that made you feel more at ease, as he’s grown to make you feel lately. Peaceful. Comfortable. “Seriously, though, I think we’ve done well considering the circumstances.”
Emma looked at him, her expression softening. “Carlos, do you... ever think about what it would be like if we had met differently?”
“Sometimes.” It takes Carlos a moment to answer as he thinks about it. “I think we would have been good friends regardless. Maybe even more, given time.”
“Maybe,” You said softly, also thinking that if you were given the option and the freedom things may have turned the same in the end.
Carlos sighed, breaking the brief silence that had settled between them.
“Well, we’re here now. Might as well make the best of it. Do you need anything before we turn in?”
“No, I’m good. Just... a bit nervous.” You shook you head.
“Me too,” Carlos admitted, his voice gentle. “But hey, it’s just a few nights. We’ll figure it out together.”
You smiled, a feeling of comfort washing over her. “Together. That sounds nice.”
Carlos stood up and walked to his side of the bed. “Goodnight, Hermosa.”
“Goodnight, Carlos,” You replied, getting under the covers. You both lay down, the silence filled with the rhythmic sound of the waves. After a few moments, Yout voice broke the quiet.
“Carlos?”
“Yeah?” Carlos turned to face her, his eyes soft in the dim light.
“Thanks for being understanding. It means a lot,” You said, your voice barely above a whisper, it was something you had to say, you had to put out.
Carlos smiled, a reassuring warmth in his gaze. “Anytime, y/n. We’re in this together, remember?”
You relaxed, the tension easing from your body. “Right. Together.”
You both lay quietly, gradually relaxing into the comfort of the bed and each other's presence. The initial awkwardness began to fade, as the sense of connection they’ve built over the last few months replaced it.
And so the honeymoon came and went. Each day you’d be out all day doing what Carlos had planned for the two of you before you go to the beach, a club, but you’d just fill the day with activities. When it came to the bed situation, besides the first day there was no awkwardness. Maybe it was the tiredness but you’ve found it so much easier to sleep next to Carlos every day. And every day you’d wake up a bit closer, finding comfort in his presence.
The first rays of dawn filtered through the sheer curtains of their bungalow, casting a soft, golden light across the room. The gentle sound of the ocean waves provided a calming backdrop, as if nature itself were cradling them in a tranquil embrace.
You stirred first, your consciousness slowly pulling you from the depths of a peaceful sleep. As your eyes fluttered open, you became aware of a warmth pressed against your back. It took you a moment to realise that Carlos’ arm was draped over your waist, their bodies nestled closely together. Your initial reaction was a mix of surprise and confusion, quickly followed by a strange sense of comfort.
You lay still, your mind racing. Over the past few days, sharing a bed has gradually become less awkward. You had grown accustomed to each other's presence, finding solace in your nightly routine. But this was different—intimate in a way that left your heart fluttering.
You turned your head slightly, careful not to wake Carlos. You could feel his steady breath against the back of your neck, his presence reassuring and oddly soothing. For a moment, you allowed herself to relax into his embrace, savouring the unexpected closeness.
Carlos began to stir, his grip on your waist tightening momentarily before his eyes opened. Realising the position you’re in, he blinked in surprise but didn’t pull away. Instead, he hesitated, unsure of how to proceed.
“Good morning,” You whispered, your voice barely audible.
“Good morning,” Carlos replied, his voice still heavy with sleep. He moved slightly, his arm shifting but not withdrawing. “I, uh, didn’t mean to...”
You turn to face him, a shy smile playing on your lips. “It’s okay.”
Carlos’s expression softened, relief washing over him. You lay there for a moment, neither wanting to break the spell of the morning. The initial awkwardness gave way to a quiet understanding, a mutual acknowledgment of the growing bond between you.
“I guess we’ve gotten used to each other,” You said, your tone light but tinged with something deeper.
Carlos nodded, his eyes meeting yours. “I think so.”
Carlos’s hand moved to gently brush a strand of hair from your face. “So, what do you want to do before we have to leave?”
“How about we start with breakfast?”
“Sounds perfect,” Carlos said, smiling.
When your bags were packed and ready by the door, you decided to take one last walk on the beach. The sun was high in the sky, casting a warm glow over everything. You walked in comfortable silence, your hands brushing occasionally, sending sparks of awareness through both of you. When you both found a good spot you stopped and turned to look at the ocean.
“I have to thank you Carlos.” You said softly and looked at him over your shoulder, he looked confused. “This …trip has been different than I expected.”
“Yeah, different.” Carlos nodded, his expression tinged with worry. “But in a good way, right?.”
You turned to look at him fully and he does the same. “Of course.”
There was a moment of silence, the air thick with anticipation. You were close, closer than you had ever been, conscious that is. Carlos reached out, his hand brushing against yours. Your faces were inches apart, your breaths mingling in the space between you. Carlos’s eyes flicked to your lips, and he leaned in, his heart pounding.
Your eyes fluttered closed, your pulse racing. You could feel the warmth of his breath, the electricity of the moment. It was as if the world had shrunk to just the two of you, the beach, and the waves.
Just as your lips were about to meet, the sudden sound of a ringing phone shattered the silence. You both jerked back, startled, and Carlos fumbled to answer his phone. It was the resort’s reception, calling to remind them of their checkout time.
Once Carlos told you, you couldn’t help but laugh, the tension breaking. You head back in silence. The moment had passed, but something had shifted between you. There was an unspoken understanding, a promise of something more, maybe not now, or soon, but one day.
Once you were back in Spain, you had gotten busy. You were still technically in the middle of moving, you had to fly a few times back and forth to finish getting whatever you needed and getting rid of everything else. You’re officially an online student, with just a few mandatory classes once or twice a term that you have to go in for. Lisa was crying on the last trip, but knowing the two of you, you’d just fly to see her or she’ll fly to see you. Besides since her and Lando started dating it means that if all goes well, you’d be seeing more of her in the paddock.
Your mum decided that she hasn’t heard form you enough so she flies to Spain and comes to your house one random day, Carlos is out golfing with Lando who he invited over for the week, the McLaren driver was staying with the two of you. You planned to use the time to catch up on some unpacking you still have to do, it’s taking you longer than you expected. And you still have to work with Carlos’s things as well. And you just began, since Carlos and Lando didn’t leave until recently before the doorbell rang.
You opened the door to find your mother standing there, her expression as critical as ever.
“Hi, Mom.” You said, forcing a smile. “What are you doing here?”
“Y/n.” Your mother greeted, ignoring your question, she stepped inside and immediately surveyed the house. “Where are Carlos and Lando? I hope you’ve been taking care of them.”
“They’re out golfing, Mom.” Your smile falters, before it falls. ”I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me you were coming?” You ask her again as you watch her look around the house, no doubt looking for something to critique you over.
”You wouldn't have answered.” She tries to excuse herself, you frown.
”I always reply to your messages.” You feel exasperated already, and she’s been here for all of 10 minutes.
”What are you cooking today?” Your eyebrows raise at the question, it takes you a moment to answer.
”Nothing? Carlos is cooking for us tonight.” You tell her and turn to leave her to inspect the kitchen.
“And does Carlos usually cook?” You have no idea where she’s going with those questions so you answer her honestly.
”Well, out of the two of us he cooks more, but don’t worry I always help.” You blob down on the sofa.
“Why is it so messy here?” She asks, coming to the living room, looking over the few boxes still set to the side waiting to be unpacked, the blankets you have sat in the living room used by you three yesterday as you watched a movie after a long day yesterday.
“The house isn’t messy. I’ve just been busy, and I haven’t finished unpacking.”
“Busy? What about cooking and cleaning?” Your mum’s eyes narrowed. “A good wife takes care of her home and her husband’s friends. It’s your responsibility, y/n.”
“Mom, it’s not the 1950s.” You felt your frustration rising. “Carlos and I share responsibilities. He’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself, and Lando is our guest, not my responsibility.”
“y/n y/l/n! I don’t know where I went wrong with you, I did not raise you to be this kind of wife!” Your mum scoffed, shaking her head. You look up at her startled, where the heck did this come from. “A wife should always put her husband first. Look at this place! And you didn’t even cook anything for them? Carlos is working so hard year around, the least you could is cook him meals and take care of him, what man would like a woman that doesn’t take care of him and his friends.”
“I don’t need to cook for them every day, Mom. Carlos and I are a team. We support each other.” You clenched your fists, trying to keep your composure. “And they're grown adults as well, they’ve lived alone for years.”
Your mother ignored you, continuing to inspect the house and muttering under her breath about your lack of domestic skills. The barrage of criticism was relentless, each comment cutting deeper. You tried to defend yourself, but the words stuck in your throat, overwhelmed by your mother’s disapproval.
Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore. “I need some air,” you said abruptly, storming to your room. You quickly changed into a golf skirt and a polo shirt, grabbed your clubs(a gift from Carlos, that you have yet to use), and headed out the door.
Your mother’s voice followed you, laden with disappointment. “Running away doesn’t solve anything, y/n!”
“It’s y/n Sainz by the way! We don’t share the last name anymore.” Was all you said ignoring the sting of her words, You drove to the golf course.
You found Carlos and Lando on the ninth hole, chatting and laughing as they waited their turn. The sight of their relaxed camaraderie only fueled your frustration. Carlos noticed you approaching, surprise evident on his face.
“y/n? What are you doing here?”
You didn’t answer right away, instead setting up your club and taking a swing at the ball. It flew farther than you expected, the physical exertion providing a small relief to your pent-up anger. Lando raised an eyebrow but wisely kept quiet. Carlos walked over to her, concern in his eyes.
“y/n, what happened?”
“My mom happened.” You take a deep breath, trying to steady your vice. “She came over and started berating me for not taking care of the house and you two. Said a lot of misogynistic things. I couldn’t deal with it, so I came here.”
Carlos exchanged a glance with Lando, who nodded in understanding and took a few steps back to give you some privacy. “y/n, I’m sorry. She had no right to say those things.”
“I know that, Carlos.” You felt your frustration bubbling over. “But it’s just so exhausting. I feel like I’m constantly trying to prove myself, and nothing I do is ever good enough for her.”
Carlos stepped closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “
You don’t have to prove anything to her. You’re amazing just the way you are. We’re a team, remember?”
“I just needed to get out and clear my head.” You nod, leaning into his embrace. “Thanks for letting me crash your golf game.”
“Anytime.” Carlos smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Why don’t you join us? Maybe hitting a few more balls will help.”
“Yeah, y/n. Show us what you’ve got.” Lando, who had been listening from a respectful distance, chimed in.
You manage a small smile, appreciating their support. You took another swing, feeling a little lighter with each hit. The repetitive motion and the open air helped to calm your nerves. As the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the course, you felt the weight of your mother’s words slowly lifting.
After a few more swings and a lot of supportive banter from Carlos and Lando, you began to feel more like yourself. You knew the challenges with your mother wouldn’t disappear overnight, but having Carlos by your side made it easier to face them.
As you finished the game and headed back to the clubhouse, CArlos took your hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“We’ll figure this out, y/n. Together.”
“I know we will. Thanks for being my rock.” You looked up at him, your heart swelling with gratitude and affection.
“Always.” Carlos smiled, his eyes full of warmth.
As you walked back to the car, the events of the day began to fade into the background, replaced by a sense of peace and solidarity. You knew that with Carlos by your side, you could handle whatever challenges came your way. And maybe, just maybe, one day you would find a way to make your mother understand.
The new Formula 1 season begins, and it’s a good start for Ferrari, they’ve been doing good. The testing and the first race already over and a big improvement from last year is already noticed. By the time Saudi Arabia came around, no one had noticed or pointed out the new ring on Carlos’s finger. Or yours for that matter. Your marriage, although not a secret, wasn't announced.
“Are you sure you’re fine?” You ask Carlos, he’s been in pain the last couple of days, he had a fever and wasn’t looking too good.
”Yes, don’t worry.” Carlos was trying to calm your nerves but it wasn’t helping in this situation.
“FP1 has already been hard, Carlos, I don’t want you pushing yourself too hard!” You say and follow him out of his driver’s room and to the garage, a worried look on your face for everyone to see.
”I won't, I promise.” You stop at where you can’t go any further and Carlos turns to look at you, his balaclava in his hands. You look so cute worried for him, eyes wide and sat expression on your face, lips turned down slightly and pouting. “Please, amour I promise I’ll be fine.”
You don’t get to realise how he called you amour for the first time, before his lips are pressed to yours in a quick kiss and he’s turned and heading to get his helmet on. You just blink and look at him, but he doesn’t look your way in the slightest.
“What just happened?” You whisper to yourself.
“I believe your husband just kissed you.” Carlos sr., who came out of nowhere said in your ear. You spare him a look and just turn and go to the nearest bathroom, having to splash some water on your face to calm the heat down.
You manage to compose yourself for the rest of Free Practice, as you watch Carlos put in the times, listening to his team radio, you could tell he was getting a bit tired. But they were looking at his vitals and they seemed okay, he wasn’t called in either so that calmed you a little. After the practice however, you saw him come out of the car, and he looked as if he was struggling a little.
He takes off his helmet and balaclava and his face is flushed red, Free Practices are hard, but they’re not as hard as a race is, so why is his face flushed more than normal.
“He’s fine, don’t worry.” Carlos sr. tells you and you aren’t convinced, he doesn’t sound like he’s convinced.
There was nothing you could do, but walk around as Carlos had to head in for debrief. You skipped lunch in favour of staying with Carlos earlier today, so you decided to grab a bite before you head back to the Ferrari garage.
Your phone rings a while later, seeing Carlos sr.’s name on your screen you pick up.
”Hey, I’m just-“
”It was bad, we’re taking Carlos to the hospital.” He cuts you off rushing.
“What? What happened? Just tell me which hospital!” You leave your half eaten food and rush back to Ferrari, where someone on Carlos’s team was waiting to take you to the hospital. Your knee was bouncing up and down in worry, you couldn’t get there fast enough.
By the time you go there, Carlos is already in for surgery. Carlos sr. pulls you in for a hug as you tear up. “He’s okay, a minor surgery, it’s his appendicitis.”
”I told him something was wrong, but he didn't listen.” You cry as worry eats you up, you’ve just come to realise how much Carlos actually means to you. He’s become such an important part of your life and you didn’t even realise it. Hearing that he was taken to the hospital, made your mind race with possibilities you don't want to think about.
”I didn’t know you cared so much about my son.” Carlos says after you’ve calmed down, you’re both sitting down waiting for the surgery to end.
“I didn’t either.” You say and sigh, Carlos sr. pats your knee in comfort.
Once the surgery ends and the doctors come out, they tell you that everything went smoothly and it won’t take long for Carlos to wake up, and he was moved to another floor. Both you and Senior along with Carlos’s trainer.
“I’m sorry, but for the next hour or so, only family members are allowed.” A nurse stops you three from walking into Carlos’s room. Both you and Carlos’s dad move to enter before you’re stopped again, she gives you a pointed look.
”I’m family.” You tell her, but she doesn’t budge.
”She’s family.”
”I’m sorry, but dating or even engagement doesn’t count.” You scoff and get your passport out, all your papers have been changed after the wedding.
”I’m y/n Sainz, that man inside is my husband, now step aside.” She stands there shocked before she lets you pass. Carlos sr. laughs and follows you inside.
“Hey, Mrs Sainz.” Once more Carlos leaves your heart beating faster than it should, with your face red. He clearly heard what happened outside, and he’s clearly heavy on pain meds.
“You’re an asshole, Carlos Sainz.” You mutter and sit down at the chair next to his bed, apparently you’re super funny, because he laughs as if you said the funniest joke ever. “I don’t get your son sometimes.”
”Me neither.”
It takes a few hours for Carlos to be completely coherent, they’ll keep him overnight to make sure he’s alright before he can leave. With only one person that can stay the night and Carlos Sr. needing to stay next to his only son, you let him stay and head back to the hotel with Carlos’s trainer, with the promise of being back early the next day.
Sleeping in the bed alone feels weird now, after the honeymoon you’ve gone back to sleeping alone, and you’ve missed having Carlos next to you. But since you’ve started trailing again, you’ve shared the same bed. How weird it is for you to miss his presence so much after so little time.
After a sleepless night you get Carlos a change of clothes before you head to the hotel. When you walk into his room, he’s alone.
”Where’s your dad?” You ask him, placing the bag on the chair.
”Went to get some coffee.” You nod at his words, you stand there for a moment and Carlos pats the side to the bed, you sit next to him and sigh.
”You really scared me, Carlos.” Your voice lowered, tinged with sadness.
“I’m so sorry, mi amor.” Your eyes trail up until you meet his eyes, Carlos takes your hand in his. “I thought it was just food poisoning.”
“What are you doing to me?” You ask him your voice filled with emotion, your eyes filled with tears, as all the frustrations, the worry and the love you have for him is just too much for you to handle.
”Wh-what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Carlos sits up slowly, and he’s so close to you, just like he was on that day on the beach.
“You know you kissed me, right?” WAs it the fever, did he not mean it.
”Yea, I’m sorry, if this is why you’re crying I’ll never kiss you aga-“
”No!” You almost shout startling the man in front of you, tears leaver your eyes and you close them for a moment.
”No?” His accent is thick and it leaves you shivering.
”I want you to kiss me.” You open your eyes lips trembling and your eyes meet his. “Don’t you understand? I don’t know when, or how. Carlos sleeping without yesterday kept me up all night. I've become so used to you, I’ve become so attached to you without even realising it. Carlos I love you and I’m scared that you don’t love me, that you don’t feel the same. That thought terrifies me.”
Carlos sits in silence and you think that maybe he was just being nice, he didn’t mean it. It was definitely the fever. You go to stand up, but his hand that still held yours stop you. You look from your hands to his face once more.
”If I had known this is how you felt, mi amor, I would’ve kissed you sooner, would’ve slept next to you every night.” Carlos’s voice is soft, it’s so soft and loving. “I would’ve wished to get sick sooner.”
”Don’t say that!” You punch his shoulder so softly he couldn’t help but smile, Carlos lets go of your hand, only to cup your face in his hands.
”I love you so much y/n Sainz, and I’m so glad that fate brought us together.” Carlos leans closer, his words whispered on your lips. “You’ve made me so much happier than I thought possible.”
With that Carlos closes the distance between your lips, your eyes flutter shut. As you finally feel his lips on yours, electricity runs through your body. Once Carlos got a taste of your lips, he wanted more, he needed more.
“Carlos-“
You both pull apart and look at the door where Carlos Sr. stood with a grin on his face, looking amused.
”You can leave it to the hotel room, this is a hospital.” He’s joking, but no one else was laughing. Your face was so red and you were so embarrassed by being caught kissing… your husband? Why are you embarrassed? He’s your husband. The thought makes you smile to yourself as you go through the bag and show Carlos what you got for him.
Walking in the paddock the next day wasn’t on your agenda, you did try to convince your husband to just rest but he just wouldn't listen. You walk in hand in hand, and it seemed like the nurse at the hospital let it slip to everyone as it seemed like the news of your marriage was laced with the news of the surgery and all over social media. Carlos the cheeky bastard used his left hand for everything that didn’t require the usage of his right hand, showing everyone his wedding band. You had a Carlos Sainz hat on your head, finally with his number and everything.
”Looks like the news is out, Mr and Mrs Sainz.” Lando says once he came over to check on Carlos.
”Looks like it.” Carlos says and pulls you closer to his side, you look up at him and smile.
”I feel like I owe Lisa some money.” Your head snaps to Lando’s.
”You bet on us?”
“Of course.”
“How much?”
”I can’t tell you that?”
”Lando, how much?”
”I promised Lisa I wouldn't say.”
”She’s my friend.”
”Well, she’s my girlfriend.”
”You’re stealing her from me!”
”You stole my friend first!”
”Is this payback?”
”Are you sure they’re on good terms?” Carlos Sr, asked his son seeing how his daughter in law is bickering with the McLaren driver.
”I promise you they do.”
Taglist:
@gnatthefly . @mochimommy2002 . @llando4norris . @mrswolffs-blog . @barcelonaloverf1life
#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 scenario#f1 x reader#carlos one shot#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz one shot#carlos imagine#carlos sainz#carlos x reader#cs55#cs55 x reader#cs55 x you#cs55 imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fanfic#carlos sainz fic#carlos sainz angst
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{ 021 }
- how they comfort you after a breakup -
featuring: gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, fushiguro megumi
dedicated to @xbarrjallenx
[ gojo satoru 🕶️ ]
gojo is the type to wipe away your tears while reassuring you that you always deserved better than your dumbass ex. he will remain vigilantly by your side while slowly healing your broken heart all while hoping that someday, you’ll realize that he was the man you have wanted all along…
gojo wanted nothing more than to march over to your ex’s place and teach him a lesson or two-
but his undying devotion and commitment to you prevents him from doing so.
you continue clinging to him, basking in gojo’s words of whispered comfort while running a hand through your hair. he hated feeling your hot tears staining at the front of his shirt, yet still, he knew it was important that you let out all of your emotions so that it would be easier for you to heal as time went on.
after what felt like hours of you crying nonstop, gojo hears you calling out to him, the cascade of your tears finally slowing down to a few droplets when you shakily apologize to him.
“s-sorry for crying so much, ‘toru.”
he scoffs upon hearing your apology, picking you up from his spot on the couch. looking down at your damp face and bloodshot eyes, a wave of empathy and love surrounds the world’s strongest sorcerer.
“shush, you don’t need to apologize for a damn thing.”
he carries you into your bathroom, settling you on top of the toilet while working on wetting the handkerchief to help wipe your face with. he hums one of your favorite songs, earning a giggle from you.
an almost triumphant smile paints gojo’s features when he leans down and gently wipes away at your stray tears.
“listen to me, and listen well, okay?” gojo softly murmurs to you while still cleaning your face.
“i know it’ll take some time for you to get over him, but just know that you always deserved more than what that bastard was willing to give you. you deserve a man who will dedicate his whole life to making you happy; a man who will love you unconditionally without giving you mere scraps of his affection.”
a man like me. gojo doesn’t tell you his thoughts, though. he never wanted to be a mere rebound for you, and now that he knew that you were free from your selfish ex’s grasps, he could finally work on convincing your heart that you belonged with him.
when he was finished with wiping away your tears, he puts the damp handkerchief into your basket of dirty laundry, basking in your tiny smile and the way you met his gaze in an affectionate manner.
“thank you, satoru. i really needed that.”
he listens to the way you let out a sniffle, pressing a comforting kiss against your forehead before asking you if it was alright for him to stay the night. not wishing to spend another night alone, you eagerly accepted his offer.
with you now settled on his lap (and favorite carton of ice cream in hand), you watch a light, romantic comedy on t.v. in hopes of easing your heartache, giggling here and there at the love interest’s antics while basking in gojo’s gentle kisses against your hair…
[ geto suguru 🔮 ]
when geto sees you in tears due to a bad breakup, his gaze would darken before taking you in his arms to help with comforting while confessing that so long as you asked him to, then he would make sure to make your ex disappear.
it took geto a herculean effort to remain rooted on the couch of your apartment, holding you in his embrace while surrounded by empty cartons of ice cream and various snack bags.
you had told him about your breakup with your ex through shuddering tears, the sight of it all being enough to make geto’s fist remained clenched in response.
despite how he wanted nothing more than to confront your ex because of how much the asshole had hurt you, geto fought such desires and remained by your side. he runs his hand across your hair, allowing you to finish before landing your tear-stained face against his broad chest.
as your tears were felt wetting the front of his shirt, geto lets out a sigh, leaning in to press light kisses against the shell of your ear while whispering into them. “if he upset you so much, shall i kill him for you and rip out his heart, bringing such a useless organ to you?”
geto’s totally teasing and not serious words earns a choked laugh from you, managing to stop your tears momentarily as you pull back away from his shirt and weakly poked his cheek.
“n-no, there’s no need for that, suguru… i’m actually feeling so much better now that i got it off my chest… and have you by my side.”
a rich chuckle escapes from geto’s parted lips, with him holding you close as he casually asks you what you would like to eat as takeout for dinner, making you completely unaware of the sincerity behind his words-
truly, if you asked him to commit heinous crimes just for the sake of easing your broken heart, geto would do it for you in a heartbeat.
[ nanami kento 🗞️ ]
nanami is the type to truly take care of you, knowing that you didn’t have the energy nor the strength to do it yourself. when you came to his apartment with tears in your eyes, he invited you inside his humble apartment with little to no question at all.
nanami’s gaze remains utterly focused on the task at hand, cooking all of your favorite foods as he uses every knowledge he had to whip up your favorite meal. his movements were meticulous and graceful, plating the meal in a manner that he hoped would appeal to you and further strengthen your appetite.
when you came to his apartment in tears, nanami let you in without a hint of hesitation. he notices the dark circles beneath your eyes and the way you seemed to have lost some weight. he asks why you appeared so haggard and weak, yet all you could tell him was that you “didn’t have much of an appetite after the breakup.”
this further serves to infuriate nanami, as he hated the bastard that dared make you look so unwell. if you were his woman, he would treat you like the way you deserved to be treated.
to him, you were a precious diamond; a one in a million type of woman that your ex was just too stupid to truly love and appreciate. to say that the duration of your relationship with your ex was maddening to nanami would be the understatement of the century.
nanami could never fight back his feelings of envy whenever he saw that bastard’s possessive arms wrapped around your waist, and now that he was stupid enough to let you go, it was time for nanami to step in and show you what love was truly like.
true love was unconditional.
true love meant making your partner happy.
but most importantly of all, true love was patient and giving.
and nanami was all too eager to demonstrate all of these facets of true love to you, little by little.
once dinner consisting of all your favorite foods was finished being made, nanami walks toward the spare bedroom he had given to you. he knocks on the door to announce his presence before opening it, nearly jumping back when he already sees you already standing before him.
a sheepish expression paints your features with your arms wrapped around your stomach. “hey ken, uhm, i thought about taking a nap, but smelling the delicious scent coming from your cooking made me a little ah… hungry.”
as if to further prove your famished state, he hears the sounds of your stomach growling, earning a rich chuckle from the man as he gently leads you out of the room and into the dining room.
pulling out the chair for you to sit down in, nanami gestures at the various plates. “by all means, dig in. you need it.”
grabbing your utensils, you happily state, “thank you for this meal!” before steadily devouring the delicious meal nanami had made for you.
as nanami sits across from you, he had to fight back a smile, filled with an anticipation to finally get a chance to love you.
[ megumi fushiguro 🐺 ]
megumi can and will fight for you. when he realizes that the bastard had the gall to treat you like shit and toss you aside, he wasn’t afraid to pay your ex a little visit…
megumi’s eyes narrow when he sees the familiar head of hair and hoodie, a typical style reminiscent of your ex-boyfriend. just seeing the sight of him hopping around various clubs while you were left to suffer made megumi’s blood boil.
keeping a safe distance away from your ex, megumi casually follows the fucker, muttering curses beneath his breath upon seeing how happy he was without you. while you remained miserable and hidden within your apartment, he was free to do as he pleased, boasting about how much happier he was without you while searching for a new girl to “play with.”
unable to fight back his anger and rage, megumi walks up to him with his fists clenched, calling out the bastard’s name to get his attention. he only catches a glimpse of megumi before a fist was brought down against his face. a painful crunch was heard as blood began pouring from the asshole’s nose (a sight that sent satisfaction coursing through megumi’s veins).
“what the fuck?! the hell was that for?” the ex wanted to defend himself and get back at megumi for the punch, but something dark seen within the depths of megumi’s eyes prevents the ex from making a single move.
the bastard trembles beneath megumi’s contempt- filled gaze, his shivering only getting worse the moment megumi says your name in response to his question…
{ … }
a flurry of terrified texts comes from your ex, and you could do little than to read each and every one of them with wide eyes.
[ fuck, your new boyfriend is here and he’s gonna kill me !! ]
[ i’m sorry, okay?? i’m sorry for putting you through hell and not treating you well enough! ]
[ please don’t send him after me anymore! i’ll erase myself and block your number just please, tell your boyfriend that i’m sorry! ]
your eyebrows were furrowed in response, head spinning as you were unsure of what was going on. you didn’t have a new boyfriend-
however, the first person you went to after your relationship ended had been your best friend, megumi.
“megumi…” a sudden warmth fills at your chest, believing that he must have done something in your name to help with further protecting your dignity and your heart.
just a few minutes later, you heard someone knocking at the door with a familiar voice calling out to you, “oi, it’s me. let me in?”
tossing aside your phone on the bed, you reach your front door and unlock it, revealing megumi with bags of what you assumed were your favorite takeout meals and some snacks. a tiny smile paints his handsome features as he lets himself in while calling out your name.
“hey, i hope you feel better. if not, i got you some snacks and takeout food. hope you’re hungry and-“
the words die against megumi’s throat when you hug him from behind, pressing your face within his back as you wrapped your arms around his abdomen.
“thank you, thank you so much… you didn’t have to, b-but i’m so glad that you did.”
understanding what you meant, megumi gives you a fond smile while placing a hand over yours, basking in the way you held him even tighter in response.
someday soon, you’ll forget all about this heartache-
and when that day comes, megumi could finally come clean about his own feelings for you, all while swearing to never leave your side.
a.n. - this is dedicated to my bestie, gwen, and all of you out there who are currently going through the worst breakup of your life 🥹 just know that i believe that you all deserve a type of love like this and should not sacrifice yourself for someone who will not cherish and love you like you need to be cherished and loved ♡
all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.
#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x you#satoru gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo satoru fluff#satoru gojo fluff#nanami kento x reader#kento nanami x reader#nanami x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#geto suguru fluff#geto suguru x you#megumi fushiguro x you#megumi fushiguro x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader#fushiguro megumi fluff#megumi x reader
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nothing makes me more hopeful for buddie than the care and love spent on the scenes with them this season, like for all the issues i took with this episode (specifically eddie and kim's storyline) - that scene with buck and eddie was so thoughtful. it was between two people who love each other deeply. buck was the one who found out about kim. buck was the one who got eddie to stop his spiral and be honest with kim. buck cared enough, even knowing his friend was doing some shenanigans, to make sure marisol wasn't around before he talked about. he was gentle and kind and went to his house IMMEDIATELY. (did he stand t**** up? inquiring minds would love to know) and eddie heard him. he could've kicked him out. could've lashed out. but he heard him, becaues buck is his fucking person.
the convo could've been something between best friends who really love each other, but i dunno. giving that kind of effort to a scene when there's a dozen other high drama ways to handle it and a million things going on. i dunno i fully admit to being delulu, but their relationship feels SO important this season. it gives me hope, and i guess it gives me like the thought that even if they don't go canon, which would be a shame, they're finally being treated like the close, intimate relationship that they are. with or without kissing.
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Something something Dooku survives the Clone Wars, the Imperial Era, and even a few years past the OT...
And Luke finds him while looking for More Jedi to help him teach.
Chewie recognizes the decrepit old bastard, and there is yelling, but being A Hundred And Nine has mellowed Dooku out in his own dusty hermit hut, on the other side of the galaxy from Ben and Yoda's hermit huts.
All the Jedi ghosts are unhappy with this but Dooku is… not REFORMED, technically, but he's old and tired, even if the Force keeps him a bit more healthy and energized than the average Old Guy, and humans routinely live to pretty unreal old ages in the gffa anyway so really 109 for them is probably like 85 for us.
But yeah. Old mountain hermit (to contrast the desert and the swamp) who's been in hiding from That Dick Sidious since he lost both hands to babyface Vader in 19BBY.
@jebiknights (Sammie) said:
Dooku finds out Luke was also trained by Yoda and is like "oh Yoda finally gave me a younger brother like I always wanted"
Alternately he could probably get Luke to call him Great-Great-Grandfather.
Sammie:
Funniest option is he's both which makes Luke even more confused lmao
Ghost Obi wan in the background like "stop fucking using non Jedi terms to describe Jedi relationships it doesn't fucking work"
Luke calls him, irreverently, Gramps, but also. Leia definitely recognizes him as a Recent Historic Political Figure, but not until AFTER Luke has already integrated Dooku into his new Jedi school.
"Why did Chewie let him do that?" He thought it was funny. (And/or if you like Chewku, you can make this some sordid exes thing.)
"Why did R2 let him do that?" Best keep evil man in electrical prodding range.
Sammie:
Leia comes to the school for her biweekly Jedi lessons and sees the newest teacher was a traitor to the Republic 😭
Best if they can find Quin or Ventress out in the black. Partly because like. Does this make Ventress their step-grandma (Quinlan's on-off something) or their great-great-aunt (Dooku's 4th apprentice)?
Sammie:
Both and also Luke's niece. Luke has a migraine by the end of it and Leia is ready to disown herself.
Ventress: I didn't realize the Jedi were so incestuous
Luke: war flashbacks to before he realized Leia was his sister
Ahsoka in the corner with Spacebucks, five years late "Y'all suck. Hey, Quin."
Sammie:
I know you likely didn't bring up Quinlan thinking of QuinObi but now I'm imagining Quinlan declaring himself their grandpa when he meets the twins bc
1) he loves to cause chaos
2) he does/did consider Anakin his kid even if not in neat non Jedi terms and
3) Obi-Wan thought being considered Anakin's father made him sound old, and Quinlan needs to harass him beyond the grave
Dooku must have a cane that the ghosts heckle him about because He Clearly Wants To Be Just Like Yoda.
@lyntergalactic (Lyn) said:
I feel like evil gramps could really bring out Ahsoka's snark once she shows up and that would be highly entertaining
Ahsoka is simultaneously his most and least favorite grandchild
She's the most experienced as a Jedi (Ventress went full Sith, not just leaving the Order but following the tenets like Ahsoka, and Quinlan isn't in the lineage), has never Fallen unless you count that thing on Mortis.
Also she WILL bitch Dooku out at this age, and honestly he kind of appreciates the brutal honesty.
Ahsoka: I'm not a Jedi.
All the old people: Lies
She brings up the Hondo incident since nobody else is putting in the effort.
Anakin and Obi-Wan COULD as ghosts but nooooooo she has to do everything around here.
Sammie:
Oh but it sets them off so hard they can barely get the story off from laughing
NGL I think the twins did not understand how truly annoying Obi-Wan and Anakin could be together until the Hondo story gets told.
They are The Worst.
#star wars#count dooku#luke skywalker#leia organa#asajj ventress#quinlan vos#quinobi#incest mention#(the canon incident)#quintress#obi wan kenobi#master yoda#anakin skywalker#force ghosts#phoenix posts
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I To Dig a Grave I Chapter 1 I
Summary: Twenty-one years after the outbreak, you come to Wyoming looking for something and end up in Jackson after a stranger saves your life.
But he doesn't stay a stranger.
Turns out Joel Miller is looking for something too. It feels like a fresh start. But when bad luck seems to follow you, Joel is the only one to turn to, forcing both of you to confront your feelings about your pasts- and each other.
Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader
Rating: Explicit / MDNI
Word count: 5k+
Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Age Difference, Smut, Explicit Content, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues, Canon-Typical Violence, Chose not to use Archive Warnings, Tags to be added
AO3 LINK // Series Masterlist
notes: this work has been quite a while in the making and im very excited to finally share the first chapter! a huge thank you to the wonderful josie for being my beta reader and listening to all my rambling <3
this fic will deal with heavy topics. please note that it doesn't use archive warnings and tags will be added as we go in order to avoid spoilers. each chapter will have detailed warnings in the end notes on ao3.
Chapter 1 - The Before
‘‘I will be very sad to leave here’, Yves said, suddenly.
‘I have never been happier than I have been in this house.’
‘I have been very happy too. I wonder if we will ever be so happy again.’’
- Another Country, James Baldwin
You’d been on the run for what felt like weeks but could only have been days when you found the gas station next to an abandoned mall. It had looked promising, the half-rotten advertisements plastered to the walls, reminding your stomach that it had gone far too long without a proper meal, or any meal for that matter.
Maybe if you hadn’t been so starved or so tired, you would’ve heard them coming, the Infected that stormed through the back door practically the moment you slipped into the building. A yell escaped your throat, your hand instinctively reaching for the knife you kept buckled to your leg. You didn't even get the chance to pull it out of its makeshift holster before the creature was on top of you, pinning you to the floor with what felt like inhuman strength.
“Fucking- get off-” you grunted, but even if the thing on top of you had been one that listened to commands, your thin and shaky voice likely wouldn’t have impressed it.
So this was how you were gonna go out. In a town you couldn't even name, somewhere in the snowy mountains of Wyoming, after finally escaping the life you’d been stuck in for so long. You hadn't even made it a month.
For a second, you considered trying to reach for your gun, still tucked into your pants and pressing into your back uncomfortably. You could feel its outline against your skin, a pain shooting through your spine as the Infected seemed to double its effort to reach your neck with its mouth, half-rotten teeth close enough that you could recognize the foul smell of death.
Then, the gun went off. Or you thought it did. The unmistakable sound of a gunshot rang in your ears as the Infected collapsed on top of you. But the feeling of your pistol pressing into your back was still there. It had been a gun. But not yours.
“I got her!” a voice above you bellowed out, an unmistakable southern drawl. “Tommy, give me some cover here, goddammit!”
You hadn't even noticed the second man, who was now aiming his gun at another runner storming towards him. He fired, once, twice, and the Infected let out a howl before its body hit the tiled floor with a thud.
“Hey, you with me?” The man above you leaned down, shoving the Infected that had been on top of you to the side unceremoniously. He was dressed in a worn jacket, jeans and boots, the latter two splattered with blood. His right hand, covered in a weathered leather glove, was stretched out towards you, an invitation to, well, you weren't exactly sure.
“She good?”
The second man approached the pair of you, your eyes flying over to him for a split moment. He was dressed similarly, except that he looked a little younger than his partner. He shouldered his rifle and tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. Your gaze flew back to the man in front of you, to the brown eyes that carried an unexpectedly gentle look, not quite matching the gruff way he looked. Shaking slightly, you placed your hand in his, and the next moment, he was pulling you to your feet.
“There you are.”
You nodded, a motion that looked more like your head was jerking on its own accord. But the man seemed to accept it. As the other one stepped towards you, the taller of the two men spoke again.
“You clean?” When no response came, he pressed on, his tone getting a little more impatient. “Did it bite you? Scratch you anywhere?”
The other one gently placed a hand on his chest, forcing your attention onto himself. “Can you walk? Our horses are two houses over, we've got a place where you can rest, get some food-”
“I'm not going anywhere with you,” you blurted out. You'd had your fair share of people, of men offering you ‘help’ and it never stopped there. There was payment, always. In this world, it was stupid to think there wouldn't be, that anyone would help you out of the kindness of their hearts.
“You're not going anywhere else by the looks of it, either,” the man with the gloves muttered, more than loud enough for you to hear. “You won't last a week.”
“I've lasted longer, asshole,” you shot back, suddenly angry at the stranger in front of you. He didn't know you, he didn't know the things you'd gone through to get here. So what if he had saved your life? It didn't give him the right to predict your death.
The other man nudged his ribs, extending his hand to you as well, though it was more of a formality this time.
“Name’s Tommy. The asshole is my brother Joel.”
He paused for a moment, clearly thinking about how to approach this the right way. “Look, I'm sure you've been traveling for quite some time. We can give you a place to recover. You can leave anytime, I promise.”
You eyed him carefully. It did sound too good to be true. But it also did sound- good. A roof over your head, warm food in your stomach- two things you'd been craving for quite some time.
“Okay.”
The man who had introduced himself as Tommy gave a short nod and led the way to the horses, following tracks in the snow the two men had left while coming to your rescue. Joel pulled up the rear and you had a feeling that his eyes were trained on you, watching carefully, maybe for a twitch or anything else out of the ordinary. Again, you weren't sure why, but it made you angry.
“I told you I wasn't bit,” you repeated in his direction as Tommy began untying the horses.
Joel raised a brow, clearly surprised by the attitude in your voice. “‘ts what they usually say.”
“Well, I'm not,” you replied, turning your back on him and focusing on his brother instead. Tommy pretended not to have heard either of you but somehow you were certain he had.
“C’mon, you can ride with me. It's not too far.”
Not too far turned out to be a good hour, the crisp autumn air making you shiver, and you were thankful for the warmth of both the horse and Tommy. But what the ride lacked in temperature it made up for in views, the sun coming out just as you passed the first sign that read ‘Jackson County’.
You didn't even mind Joel's occasional glances towards you as much, finding that with the sunlight playing in his brown curls, his look screamed less of danger and more of concern. Whether it was concern for Tommy or you or something entirely different, you weren't sure.
The answer came to you in the form of your housing arrangements. After getting over the first shock of riding up a busy mainstreet in what looked like an actual, functioning town, a thing you hadn't thought possible anymore, you had made use of what must have been the first functioning toilet you'd seen in months. You felt like a child being steered through the crowd at a busy carnival, if the food hall, the functioning plumbing and electricity and the music drifting from one of the smaller shops was any indication.
“You know we ain't got any unoccupied places and Maria and mine’s no good with the baby screaming all night,” Tommy muttered urgently and you frowned a little. The two men were standing a few feet away, clearly unaware that you were already back and you awkwardly shoved your hands in your pockets, considering going back inside for a moment. But then Joel opened his mouth and you couldn't help but listen in on their conversation. The older man seemed as much a mystery as the entire scene around you.
Tommy piped up before Joel even had a chance to argue. “It's just for a couple of nights. I’m sure Ellie and you will manage. You take her in, explain the basics and as soon as we got a place, you can go back to shutting yourself off from every goddamn person in this town-”
“I don’t-” Joel interrupted before shaking his head, a low grunt leaving his throat.
“Fine. Until Thursday, no longe-” He broke off at the look on Tommys face, one that was aimed directly at you. You shyly nodded in his direction and closed the distance between you in a few quick steps.
The younger man cleared his throat, giving you a reassuring smile. “Find everything okay?”
“Yeah, thanks,” you replied politely. You hated how forced the conversation felt, already regretting listening in on it at all.
“Joel here’s gonna get you settled for the night, you let him know if you need anything else. I'll stop by in the morning and introduce you to Maria, she’s-”
“The boss,” Joel finished for him, earning a small glare from Tommy.
“One of our elected leaders,” he corrected, another smile playing around his lips at the mention of what you assumed must be his wife. “Well, I'll leave ya two to it.”
Joel took you home. He still gave you that look, and with Tommy gone, you could be sure that it was actually aimed towards you. It was like he was still on guard but whether it was of you or something else, you couldn't tell.
“Here's how this is gonna go,” he started as he fumbled with the front door of the house clad in white. “You get a quick check-up, a shower, some fresh clothes- you get the idea.”
“I get the idea,” you repeated as he led you into the hallway, unable to keep yourself from glancing around for a moment, catching a peek of the dining room. “You live here by yourself?”
“Why?”
His question hit you out of nowhere and you stuttered for a moment, racking your brain for a good response, “Just- I was making conversation. Jesus.”
“Right,” Joel nodded, his gaze softening a bit. He placed his bag onto the floor and tapped his right thigh absent-mindedly. “Come on, follow me.”
He took you into the upstairs bathroom that smelled faintly of soap, reminding you that you hadn't had a proper wash in more days than you cared to count. There were a few small containers, mostly re-used mason jars, that were labeled ‘shampoo’ or ‘body wash’, sitting orderly on the small shelf next to the tub.
You felt more than heard Joel shift behind you and turned to meet his gaze. He was still watching, arms crossed, seemingly waiting for something.
“Do I- shower?” you asked softly and he sighed a little at that.
“I need to check you for bites.” His voice was low but still carried a small note of sternness in it.
Oh, right.
“I didn't agree to that.”
You could see his hand twitch, the handle of his revolver still sticking out the back of his jeans. “You're bit.”
It was more of a statement than anything else, like he already knew what was waiting for him under your clothes, maybe a bite on your leg, a scratch on your stomach. Joel had dealt with enough people that had been marked for death like that to know the signs of it. The thing was, he was wrong.
“Is this what it is?” you asked, quietly, trying to keep your voice from shaking.
“Excuse me?”
“Is that why you go outside, save people? So you can bring them back here, get them to take their clothes off for you-”
“Whoa-” Joel held up both hands, shaking his head very slowly. “I think we got off on the wrong foot here. I need to check you for bites, it’s protocol.” His voice was still deep, that southern drawl you heard earlier in the gas station still present but somehow softer. His features had shifted, seeming genuinely surprised by the turn of your conversation.
“Now, if you want someone else to do it, I can get a lady and let her look you over. We just want to be sure we don’t bring Infected in, that's all.”
“That's all?” you asked as he kept his eyes trained on you, his hands still up in the air and his expression soft.
“I swear, that's all. If you can show me you're not bit, I'll get you that shower, some food, you name it.”
You gave a small nod at that, your body deflating a little. It had been an incredibly long day and the man in front of you seemed genuine. If he wasn't, you could still try and bail.
Joel turned slightly under the pretense of grabbing a towel from below the sink but you knew he was attempting to give you a bit of privacy- even though he clearly didn’t trust you enough to fully turn his back on you. With shaky hands, you began to strip, holding back a wince as you forced your bruised body to move. The fabric of your shirt clung to your skin, dry blood forcing another whimper out of your throat.
You felt Joel's head snap towards you at that but ignored him, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of showing quite how uncomfortable you felt about going through this with him next to you.
He was quick and professional, his large hands brushing over your skin as he made sure you were clean.
“All good,” he commented shortly when he was satisfied, his shoulders relaxing a bit as he reached for a stack of folded towels. Then, his gaze rested on your head again, more specifically, on your matted hair.
“You want me to get someone to cut that for you? Might be easier than-”
“No,” you quickly piped up. You knew your body was malnourished and likely had a dozen other things wrong with it. You didn’t want to lose your hair too.
Joel nodded, his hand absent-mindedly trailing over a particularly nasty knot. “I think I got some soap conditioner in the closet. You want to give that a try?”
“Yeah, that’d be great,” you responded curtly and Joel disappeared from the room for a few moments. He came back, as promised, with a soap smelling of jasmine and cotton.
He didn’t seem as hesitant, now that he knew you weren’t bit. At least that’s what you assumed had caused the shift in him. It didn’t occur to you that it might be the fact that you were sitting on his bathroom tiles, shivering, assuming the worst in him, in men, hell, in society. That you looked like a wounded deer, ready to take off at the slightest notion of danger, no matter how badly you were already bleeding.
Joel was a lot more gentle than you would have expected a man of his build to be. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing, reaching just far enough to cover your entire hair, but never letting any conditioner run down onto your face. It made you wonder if he was a father. Then you remembered his brother had mentioned a girl earlier, Ellie. Still, you knew better than to ask. You’d likely be gone in a few days anyway.
But, there was one question that you couldn’t keep from slipping out of your mouth.
“Why did you think I was bit?”
Joel paused for a moment, his fingers slowing down ever so slightly as he seemed to think about his words.
“You weren’t fighting hard enough. To stay alive, I mean. You were acting like someone who knows that their time is up.”
An uncomfortable silence settled between the two of you. You felt his hand brush over the crown of your head, lathering the matted mess that was your hair with soap in small, circular motions.
“I thought it was,” you whispered, honestly. You couldn't bring yourself to lie to him. But you couldn't bring yourself to explain it either.
He didn’t ask.
Neither of you spoke again until you were curled up in his bed, him insisting to take the couch for the night. He’d fed you some soup, relieved when he saw that your stomach could handle that. He’d warned you that it might not, after getting so used to going days without food. You’d gotten some worn but warm clothes to wear after the shower and now your body was sinking into an actual mattress. It was more than you’d dreamed of just that morning.
Joel paused in the doorway, his hand tapping against his jeans, a habit you had already picked up on. It was like he didn’t know what to do with his hands when they weren’t holding a gun.
“You don’t have to leave,” he said quietly. “You know that, right?”
Your mouth went dry as you tried to keep your tone nonchalant. His expression told you that it wasn't exactly working.
“Who said I was leaving?”
“You look like you will.”
Again, a quiet fell over you and you shook your head softly. “What, you were a psychologist before or something?”
He smiled weakly. “Contractor.”
After a short pause, he went on. “I know it's hard to- to trust. When ya first get here. I felt the same.”
You felt a small breath leave your throat at that. “But it gets better?”
“There's hot water, three meals a day, fair working conditions. I don't think it gets much better out there,” he pointed out softly before giving you a small nod.
“I'll be downstairs if you need anything. Good night.”
27 months later
The almost-empty soap sits on your bathroom shelf, the one that’s screwed to the wall just above the worn-out bathtub. You’ve gotten it refilled every few months, sometimes sooner if you wanted to allow yourself a little treat. It still reminds you of your first day in Jackson, of the safety that you so quickly felt in every room of Joel's house.
You still have some time before you have to head to work and the blue sky promises a cold but clear day so you decided to go and check if you’re in luck with any available refills today. Stock always changes throughout the week and while there’s usually something available, you prefer to get your chosen products if possible.
No such luck.
“Sorry, we’re all out. Think patrols cleared out the store that had these a while ago,” the woman behind the counter says apologetically. “We have some others if you’d like to try a new one, there’s-”
“I’m good,” you quickly insist, giving her a small smile when you notice you may have sounded a little harsh. “I’ll just wait and see if some more comes in.”
In one quick motion, you turn around and head towards the door- only to run face-first into a broad chest draped in a thick, brown coat.
“Whoa.” The deep voice above you immediately sends a gentle warmth through your body and you take a small step back to be able to squint up at the man you bumped into.
“Sorry, Texas, didn't see you there.”
“I told you to stop calling me that,” Joel mutters weakly, fumbling with the small bag he is carrying before handing it over to the woman behind the counter. She thanks him and quickly begins to sort the items he has brought back from patrol. He’s wearing the thick coat you see on him whenever it drops below freezing, his dark boots leaving small pieces of wet mud on the floor of the small store. He’s been doing the creek trails then, most likely.
You’ve rarely been on patrol yourself, focusing your energy more on tasks inside the community. If it hadn’t been for Joel, you know you probably would have taken off in the first few days, maybe stolen some food and been on your way. But he’d gotten you to stay. With him, for a few days. Then they had found space for you in a small guesthouse close to the mainstreet, to be shared with a young woman not unlike yourself that had offered up her vacant bedroom.
You’d taken an instant liking to Lane. Joel had dropped you off at your new home, with the few things you owned, and you and her had both stood in the small kitchen in awkward silence, racking your brains for a good conversation starter. Of course, you’d come up with the one she probably heard every other day.
“I like your hair.”
It wasn’t a lie. Her hair was cut short but thick, and most importantly, it was blue. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen colored hair. It seemed to fit her though. The roots were brown and the overall color a little less vibrant than you’d seen in magazines of people before the outbreak. If anything, you liked this more.
“Thanks,” she said lamely, twisting her hand around the small cup she was holding. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m the worst at social shit,” she finally blurted out and it looked like she was half glad to admit it and half afraid of your reaction.
“Don’t worry. Me too,” you admitted, a grin spreading over both your faces, the silence seeming a lot more bearable now. She shrugged towards the counter, half a dozen muffins sitting on it. “You like blueberries? A friend let me nick these.”
She paused for a moment, brushing a strand of blue hair behind her ear. “I mean, technically they’re not real blueberries, the ground here is too dry for those. I think they’re called juneberries, but we never call them that.”
You figured she’d be a solid roommate if she’d just met you and was already sharing her sweets. Half an hour later, when you had vomited the blueberry muffins back up in your shared bathroom, Joel’s warning about solid food still ringing in your ears, when she was standing beside you, holding your hair back and handing you a washcloth when you were finished, you knew she’d be more than a roommate. She’d be your friend.
She had also been the one to get you into teaching. You’d been fascinated when she first told you about her job in town, teaching the children of Jackson practically every subject she could. Neither of you had been in school before the outbreak so it was all the more impressive, the way she managed to control a class without the need to get loud or hand out punishments.
You’d taken a liking to the classrooms of Jackson as well, reminiscing on the last summer before the world had gone to shit and the way you’d looked forward to being in school, learning all the things big girls did. Not getting to sit in a classroom, and you didn’t count those at FEDRA as actual classrooms, had been only one of so many things you felt you had missed out on.
So it felt even more special now when, after you got Maria to assign you as teacher alongside Lane, you spent your days in the colorfully decorated classrooms, teaching a variety of subjects and a variety of ages. It was similar to life in Jackson, not without its fair amount of challenges. But, just as Joel had promised the first night, you learned to trust and the more you did, the easier it was to let yourself be. Above all, to let yourself be happy.
Joel steps outside alongside you, his head jerking back towards the small supply store. “Did ya get everything?”
His voice is soft, and you like to imagine that he sounds a little more gentle when speaking to you compared to the others. Not that you see him talking to a lot of people either way. You're pretty sure it's why he prefers the patrols, less people to bother him and less voices to listen to. Even though you had a feeling, about a year after you arrived in Jackson, that he also preferred being paired up with Esther, a pretty woman who took care of the horses and frequented the patrols. Especially those with Joel.
You had almost hoped for them to end up together, to drive the images of Joel alone at his too large dining table out of your head. But they didn't and the images stayed. You had him over for dinner, every other month. It started as a thank-you for helping you through your first days and quickly developed into a rare but regular thing. Ellie or Lane joined you occasionally, happy to get a nice home-cooked dinner and some of the wine Joel usually brought along.
You didn't see too much of him outside of your little gatherings, only the normal occasions that presented themself around town. But it was nice to know that he was there, that he would bring his wine and compliment your cooking and make small-talk and listen to the new developments of your life.
“It makes sense for you to be a teacher,” he’d agreed after you’d updated him on your new position, causing you to raise a brow.
“What is that supposed to mean? Think I can’t handle myself out on the group patrols?”
His face slowly changed at that, Joel urgently shaking his head, “I didn't mean-”
You cut him off with a small laugh, no longer able to stay serious at how panicked he looked. “I’m messing with you, old man. I know what you meant. I think it makes sense too. I like it.”
His shoulders relaxed slightly as he leaned back against the kitchen counter, grumbling a little under his breath.
It's Joel's voice that brings you back to the present. “I asked if you got everything?”
You shake your head to get rid of the thoughts, then it turns to shaking your head no. “They’re out of conditioner. But it’s fine, I can stretch mine a bit longer and maybe they’ll get some next week.”
“Ya still using the same one?” Joel asks, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat and you nod. It's sweet that he remembers. It's been over two years, after all.
“Yeah. Liked it, never saw a reason to switch,” you explain lamely. He only gives a short nod, motioning for you to follow as he starts walking.
You do, though perplexed. “School’s in the other direction.”
“Thought your class didn’t start until ten today,” he points out. It never appears to you to ask how or why he knows this. When your steps slow down and your thoughts speed up simultaneously, he nudges you along.
“You want your soap or not?” he grumbles and your face lights up a little at that.
“You got some?”
Joel gives another quick nod. “Brought them back a few weeks ago. I would’ve given them to you if I knew ya still used them.”
You trot beside him like a puppy, making your way down Rancher Street and up the flight of stairs that leads to the small house clad in white. The noise of the wind chimes tied to a beam above his front porch drifts over to you, the gentle breeze creating a slow melody.
You haven’t been in his upstairs bathroom for years. It’s odd and it feels too intimate, seeing the place where he brushes his teeth in the morning, where he washes himself after a long day. You don't belong in a space this personal. You don't belong to him.
It felt different when you were curled up on the same white tiles, letting him check your bruised and battered body for signs of Infection. For a split moment, it did feel like you belonged, in a way.
Joel's hand brushes over yours as he hands you the soap, the one smelling of jasmine and cotton and safety.
The rest of the day is a blur of lessons and grading, but the smell of the soap seems to linger, the comforting feeling in your stomach getting you through the work day. It doesn’t end until seven with you staying behind to tutor some kids for an upcoming exam and then to finish preparing said exam. The smell of food fills the air as you open your front door and you smile as you poke your head into the kitchen, “Smells good.”
Lane is seated at the table, a few papers in front of her. Likely an exam of her own, you think to yourself. Even after the world has ended, finals season still exists.
“My mum made that pasta you like so much today. Figured I'd save you some,” she says, nodding towards the tupperware sitting on the counter.
“You're an angel.” You whistle as you head deeper into the house, putting away your jacket and bag, fishing the soap out of the latter and placing it on the bathroom shelf. It makes you pause for a moment. You give a nod to yourself at the sight of the refilled container and make a silent vow to treat yourself to a nice bath today.
An hour later, your stomach is filled with warm pasta, the bathroom damp with steam and your hair soft, smelling just the way you like it. The clock in the small hallway reminds you that it's already past twelve and the knowledge that tomorrow is another day filled with teaching makes you want to crawl into bed fairly quickly. But you're thirsty.
Lane is still in the kitchen, her blue hair a little messy and crowned with a pair of headphones. The music spills out a bit, enough for you to be able to hear the low, steady humming of a song that seems mildly familiar.
You do remember a few songs from before the Outbreak- mainly the ones they played on the radio. But you know that Lane doesn’t, being a few years younger than you, meaning that she barely has any memories of the before.
You're already in your pajamas, shuffling to the sink to pour yourself a glass of water. Somehow it always tastes better at night. Or maybe your brain is playing tricks on you.
“Hey, you remember Joel is coming over for dinner on Sunday, right?” you ask with your back to your friend. When no response comes, you gulp down the last bit of water and turn around, giving a small wave in the air between you.
Lane sits up a little more, pushing one side of her headphones back just enough to free her ear. “Hm?”
“Dinner with Joel, Sunday,” you repeat, a yawn escaping you.
After a moment, she nods. “Right, I remember. We’re out of blueberries again, by the way.”
“I’ll make sure to restock this weekend then,” you agree, already halfway across the room. You give another small wave and finally head to bed. It looks exactly the same way you left it this morning, the blanket tucked into one side, the pillows arranged against the headboard.
“It's so good to be home,” you mutter to yourself as you crawl under the covers, stretching your body a little. Your left hand reaches for your nightstand and finds the book you've been reading, hoping to get just a tiny bit further tonight. With all the work and the winter festival coming up, you’ve barely made progress, the wooden bookmark still sitting near the front. You put it aside, glancing down at the finely carved piece of woodwork for a moment. Joel gave it to you for your first birthday in Jackson. Then you open the book properly, the worn-out spine cracking slightly. Just a couple of minutes.
But your eyes start to droop after just a few pages. After half a chapter, you're in a deep slumber, the book slipping out of your hands and onto the wooden floor below just as the front door slips shut.
if you enjoyed the chapter, please consider reblogging/sharing and commenting <3
#to dig a grave#joel miller / reader#joel miller x reader#joel miller / you#joel miller x you#joel miller x female reader#joel miller / original female character#joel miller / oc#joel miller#fanfic#fanfiction#the last of us#the last of us part 2#tommy miller#ellie williams#softpascalito#tlou#hurt/comfort#angst#smut#grief/mourning#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal#joel miller fanfic#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#joel / reader#joel x reader
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Daryl's the kinda guy to have a small table in the living room that has the puzzle he's been slowly working on for practically months set out on it – he delicately moves it in front of the couch then sits and silently works on it some evenings, expect for little grunts of understanding when he finally figures out a certain section he was stumped on.
He gets so flustered when you come over to look, standing beside the couch and rubbing his shoulder for a little bit while admiring his work, and he so shyly says a thanks, sheepishly reaching for the next piece while you watch for a little.
He likes to go do it some nights where he can't sleep and feels like he's gonna disturb you by just lying awake next to you in bed, usually when he's having a harder time emotionally – this gives him something to do rather than sulk, even though the thoughts still do get to him while he's working on it sometimes.
Oh god and once he probably went to do that, but Dog came over and had a bit too much energy and knocked the table just enough for everything to slide off and crumble to the floor, ruined.
He just sat there for a moment, looking at the 3d triangular shape his nearly finished puzzle landed in. He didn't even sigh in defeat; he just got up and trekked his way back to your bedroom, gently waking you up by crawling into your arms.
And he buried his head into your neck, breathing you in uneasily and trying to steady himself. But as you rubbed his back and scratched his scalp, asking him what's wrong, he couldn't help but cry a little cause he already felt so negative and now felt sort of crushed, the time and effort he put into that for nothing. It makes him feel stupid; like why is he crying over a damn puzzle? He's a grown man, in a fucking apocalypse. He doesn't have time to cry over something so childish, let alone be doing a puzzle in the first place.
But your soothing helped to wash away his self loathing, tenderly reminding him it's okay to be upset about those kinda things: that it may be small in the perspective of the world, but it meant something to him. He put his time and his effort into it, and that's what made it something big.
That made him cry harder, your confirmation that it's okay to cry, getting that allowance to. His father surely banned crying, even over major things like his moms death, telling him there's no reason for a man to ever cry – and every time he'd beat him he would repeatedly demand he stop crying, until he eventually did: and the only times he ever cried were when he'd escape to be deep in the forest, sit alone and let his walls down for a little before having to put them all back up and face his homelife again, and shamed himself for doing such in the first place.
You're what finally let him express his love for the little things, and express how he felt when bad things happen with said little things.
He definitely didn't have many toys growing up, so he turned to things like puzzles – secretly doing them in his room late at night then shoving them under his bed when he wasn't working on it cause he knew Merle or his dad would make fun of him for it or destroy it – so doing puzzles now heals his inner child, and it getting knocked over hurt him even more cause it brought him back to those memories.
This was not meant to get sad but now I'm tearyeyed at 4:30 am while writing this. He's just tryna mend the kid his childhood broke :(
#daryl dixon#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon headcanon#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon fanfic#daryldixon#the walking dead#the walking dead fanfiction#daryl dixion imagine#daryl dixon angst#daryl drabbles#daryl imagines#daryl x reader#twd daryl dixon#soft!daryl#i just wanna hold him :(#norman reedus#normanreedus#twd
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iv. "i've still got you all over me"
Pairing: older brother's best friend!Sam x fem!reader
Summary: When you try to get over Sam when you were 14 and he was 16.
Warnings: None!
Word Count: 1.9k
Your winter break was a bad time for you. There was no escape from Sam.
It seemed like every single day he was over at your house, and what you used to think was a dream come true, it was now a slow torture. You barely saw him during those two weeks, but you heard him. His laugh in the living room, his footsteps walking down the hall, just his very presence, and it killed you for fourteen days straight.
And even when he was gone, he was still on your mind.
You had more than enough of your own sadness by the time break was over. And after the harsh realization that you can’t live your life staying infatuated with a boy who no longer looked your way, you were ready for the upcoming semester. Your focus and undivided attention would no longer be on Sam, but on yourself because you missed being happy.
This determination came from a sleepless night a few days before the second semester began. You were up late just reminiscing about him when you saw how truly pathetic you were being; what were you doing helping him cut his classes just so he could stay in your life? You put off so much of your own life just for him, and none of it was worth anything.
So when school began, you immediately threw yourself back into your academics. That meant no more doing the bare minimum when it came to homework assignments, in class work, tests, quizzes, presentations. You did as much as you could for two reasons: to resort back to your studious self, and to distract yourself from any thoughts of Sam.
Instead of spending your lunch time in the cafeteria, you either went to the library to do some work or went to your next class and ate there, plus more work. And instead of spending your Friday nights and weekends with or thinking about Sam, it became an opportunity to do any extra credit and to get a head start on any assignments.
And in the midst of reverting back to your former self, you avoided Sam at all costs. And it wasn’t subtle.
If you entered the living room and saw him sitting on the couch, you left. If you saw him walking in your direction in the school halls, you turned right around and took the long way to your class. If you saw him in the cafeteria, you would leave and buy a bag of chips and a soda at one of the vending machines instead of waiting in line.
It was difficult to live this way but not abnormal. Before, you were constantly on the lookout for Sam only hoping to see him. But now, you looked around the room just to make sure he wasn’t there as well. And it made you equally anxious and frustrated. When you were actively looking for him he wasn’t anywhere to be seen, but now that you were avoiding him he seemed to be everywhere. It made respecting his wishes to stay away from him a lot harder. Then it got even worse when he suddenly took a strange interest in you, and it once again felt like all your efforts went to waste.
The first time was when he knocked on your bedroom door to hand you your book that you’d left in the kitchen. It was an interaction that ended very quickly with you shutting the door in his face as soon as he started talking. You didn’t do it with the intention to hurt him, you were over being angry with him, mostly(if you thought about what happened too much then you’d resort to holding that grudge against him). It was because you weren’t a confrontational person and any conversation with him would only remind you of how you acted when he was with his new friends.
Then he tried the same thing at school when you were just about to enter the library during lunch when he saw you, but he was stopped by the librarian because the last time he came in he spilled his entire bag of chips on the floor and was being extremely loud.
“C’mon, it was only one time”
“No it was not, Sam. Now go, you’re not welcome here anymore.” She shooed him away with a scowl on her face.
“Please, I’ll be gone in like five minutes, I just need to talk to my friend real quick.” And he gestured to you. The title made your breath hitch, his friend. Since he’d met you, he hadn’t referred to you as anything. And really you didn’t either. Even though it was nice to hear and it did give you butterflies, you just weren’t ready for whatever conversation he wanted to have, so you shook your head before you said “I can’t, I have a test to study for.”
You almost turned back when you saw the disbelief in his face.
Then there was the time you finally gave in to him, but only because it was pouring rain on your walk back home and you failed to bring an umbrella.
It was hard to hear at first because it was raining so hard, but you heard the rumble of an engine next to you then saw a slightly beat up, faded red car. You would’ve ran if you hadn’t seen Sam in the driver's seat with the passenger window rolled down, when did he get a car?
“Get in.” Was all he said but you shook your head once again.
“I’m okay, Sam.” You really weren’t. You were freezing cold and your shoes were really wet, and you were pretty sure all the papers in your backpack were soaked.
“(Y/N), I swear to god, get in the car. I’m not letting you get home like this.” It was a bit aggressive the way he said it, but he looked worried sick. And maybe you shouldn’t have felt this way, but you liked that he was so worried about you. The hope that he still cared about you never died. It was miserable at times, like how you thought he’d magically change his ways last semester and you were continuously let down. But at times like these, there was the smallest amount of faith that barely convinced you that this time would be different. Maybe he still cared about you, just a little bit. And it was that small amount of hope that was enough for you to get in. Then you immediately wished you hadn’t.
It all would’ve been perfect; him saving you from walking in the rain, the warmth, the softest music playing. But as soon as you got in the car, the tension was there, the hurt was still there, and it stopped you from appreciating it all.
“How’s school?” He asked and you wanted to die. Is that what you two resorted to? Small talk? Months ago you would’ve told him without him needing to ask because you wanted to. But now you were afraid to tell him anything, the fear of being annoying and a burden took all the words out of your mouth.
“Good.” You whispered.
“That’s good.”
It was silent the rest of the ride, which was only a few minutes but felt like an eternity. And you were ready to jump out when he parked in front of your house before he called your name.
“What?” You sighed out, exhausted and ready to forget the last seven minutes. Why wouldn’t he just let you go? Isn’t that what he wanted? You to be gone? Why the sudden change of interest? Did he know this was killing you? You just wanted to be left alone.
“I’m really sorry,” That surprised you, very much. So much that your growing annoyance simmered away and you were left confused, “for what I said to you, and-and how I treated you.”
“Oh, okay.” You whispered the only words that made sense to say at the moment because you were at a loss for words.
“I know that I treated you like shit, you helped me cut classes and tried to help me with school and I was acting like an asshole.”
What he said was true, but you still believed that you were bothering him and being obnoxious about it. You also thought how embarrassing it must’ve been for you, a younger girl, to be so concerned with him, an older boy. If there was a younger boy breathing down your neck like it was his job you certainly would’ve told him to go away as well. So you couldn’t really blame him for telling you to leave him alone, but Sam seemed to think the opposite when he saw you shake your head in disagreement.
“(Y/N), stop it. You did nothing wrong, I was doing some shitty things and you were just trying to bring me back. I’d do the same thing if I were you,” You got butterflies from his words, “and I promise, if that happens and you totally fall off the rails, I’ll be even worse.”
Maybe it was because you were the forgiving type, which was very unfortunate at times, and you had too big of a heart to fault anyone, but you hated to hear him talk about himself that way.
“I did those things myself though, you didn’t make me.”
“But I let you do it fully knowing you didn’t want to,” He paused again, “and I know you’ve been avoiding me, and I thought I could ignore it but… seeing you so upset, I don’t know, I hated it.”
You were weak, or maybe you were just young and still so, so in love with Sam and liked the idea of him fighting for you, but you forgave him at that moment. And it was relieving. No more tip-toeing around him or feeling uncomfortable in your own home when he was over. Honestly, you wanted to have this talk with him, but confronting the person who hurt you is never an easy task. And you didn’t think he’d respond well to it.
“Besides, I did miss you.” You rolled your eyes and shook your head again, but with a smile. It was a wonderful thing to hear but you didn’t believe him in the slightest. You could take his apology and his admittance to being a jerk, but that was something else. It felt too good to be true.
“No, I really did! I like talking to you. Your brother’s cool and he is my friend, but he’s not the most sympathetic person.” Now that you knew. He simply could not sit and listen for the life of him, anytime you tried to tell him about your day or how you’re feeling, he just wouldn’t care.
It was silent for a moment after, and you resorted back to that nervousness around him that made your heart pound, but in a good way.
“I, um, have to go now. I have a test tomorrow.” It was true, but you also needed to get out of the car because now you were starting to take in the cozy, warm atmosphere in the small space.
“Alright.”
“Bye.”You gave a smile and a small wave when you got out of the car.
“I’ll see you around, (y/n). Y’better not leave the room if I’m in it, okay? I’ll track you down.” He teased. Or was he being serious?
You giggled at his words, “No, I won’t, I promise.”
And with that, he drove off after you got in the house and you went back to daydreaming about him.
divider by @dollywons , next part may be shorter because this is peak drama in their blooming love story. it's all cute from here. and if you guys want to send any thoughts or anything like that to expand upon, i would love them! these two are my babies rn<333
#hayden christensen x reader#hayden christensen x you#hayden christensen imagine#hayden christensen fanfiction#hayden christensen#hayden christensen x fem reader#hayden christensen x y/n#sam monroe#sam monroe x y/n#sam monroe fanfiction#sam monroe x reader#sam monroe imagine#sam monroe x you#sam monroe fluff#life as a house
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🎲 i wish for a good kiss Prompt
30. Kiss to the palm of the hand
Let Me Help. Baizhu.
Word count: 1,700+
Can you tell I love him and hate him at the same time? Fucking bitch-
His hand was shaking. Trembling under the effort to keep his arm up in the air, like it was the greatest war of the century, he was fighting. Would people shout, fill the air with their screams as blades, unlike the one he was holding, clashed?
“I can help,” you offered, hand outstretched to take the razor away from his grip. To free him of the blade you have been questioning since the moment he picked it up.
A part of you was expecting it to slip out of his grasp, to fall to the floor with a clatter, but it still came to no surprise Baizhu tried to hold it as tight as he could. Or, rather, as tight as he could right now.
“I am fine, my petal.” Baizhu insisted.
“Truly?”
For a moment, Baizhu didn't say anything in response, lips pressed together in a thin line as he no doubt mulled over what words he'd pick out this time.
If he would say any at all.
Most likely because he didn't want to, not when all that would come out of him was another lie. Fibs, he liked to call them, like that made it any better. A habit of his that had started far too many fights whispered under both your breaths in an attempt to make sure Qiqi stayed asleep as heated words passed in the middle of the night. Her head nestled into a pillow, completely unaware of you pleading for Baizhu to stop lying to you. To himself.
He opened his mouth again, mouth agape as he decided on the words: “I can manage this.”
In the end, he was still lying to himself.
“Fine.” You said, taking a step back to allow him some room to breathe. It wasn't far, but the thought of leaving him like this just because you were upset was imprudent. And far too cold.
Baizhu went back to what he was trying to do before. Razor in hand as he stared at the mirror, reflecting back the stubble dotting his chin and current sickened state. One you knew he hated to see.
To let you see.
It had been a big deal- still is, actually- when Baizhu first let you into the backroom during one of his episodes. Not even Qiqi was allowed to see him in this state for more than a few seconds as she brought him trays of tea and occasionally lotus shoot soup. His eyes would be hollow behind those golden glasses, sweat covering his skinny form as he shook in place, lips tinted in a red that you knew was anything but lipstick as he tried to manage a smile for you.
At the time, you wanted to hiss at him to stop with the act, but you knew better. The act was, sometimes, the one thing keeping him together.
So you kept your mouth shut that first time you saw him coughing up blood into the bucket he kept by the bed. Bit your lip until you were sure it was raw as you watched. You could do nothing but be there for him. Hand running along his back, pulling Baizhu's hair out of the way, helping him drink the tea so there was the taste of something pleasant on his tongue as you whispered about how would make it through this.
Sometimes, you thought you were a liar yourself when those words were spilled.
“It's rare for you to see me unshaven, isn't it?”
For you could never know when Baizhu had fully reached his limit until it was too late.
“It is.” You agreed. Voice short and curt even as you told him you can help.
Tentatively, he lowered the razor. Having looked up at you for a moment before shaking his head. “You still knick your own legs, my dear.”
“That hasn't happened in like a month.”
With a huff, you looked back over at the sleeping snake, all curled up in a coil of her own making as she tried to recover from the long night. Unlike you, she didn't have the luxury of getting to pass out as Baizhu coughed and wheezed. Even then, he still tried to run his hand through your hair, easing you as Changsheng kept him stable the entire night long.
A hypocrite you wanted to call him. Just like how you want to tear that contract of his to shreds. To toss it out into the rocks right outside the pharmacy like the world's worst confetti every time he uses a power that would have him stuck inside paying the price.
He was far too generous. With his time, with his effort, with his very own life, for Baizhu was a man who would tear off pieces of himself and give them out with a kindly smile.
Philanthropic to a fault, but that was part of the reason you fell in love with him in the first place.
That day, the patient had walked away with a pep in their step, and Baizhu had fallen into bed.
Just as it always went.
Cut from your own thoughts with a startle and a small gasp you looked down to find Baizhu had reached out to you. Holding onto your ring finger to trace over the jade wrapped around it, a snake motif etched into the stone that was currently hidden behind his thumb as it traced over the pattern. “Petal?”
“Yeah, wifey?”
You couldn't help the grin that came from you as he laughed. His joy always proved infectious even if it was cut off by a loud and sudden cough.
Whispers of apologies came from you as you fetched him a glass of water. Raising it to his lips and you helped Baizhu drink down what he could even as shaving cream got on the rim of the cup. It matters little, anyway. Having to spare some time to clean it up was nothing compared to what he went through for others.
“Sorry, Bai, I know better than to make jokes when you're like this.”
“It's quite alright.”
“No, it's-”
“But my petal, ‘wifey?’” He hummed. Even when his voice was hoarse and broken from every wretch, it truly had such a melodic nature to it. “We're not even married yet, and you're already calling me such a lovely name?”
“Please, it suits you.”
“And shall I call you husband?”
“Well…” Just the image of Baizhu coming up behind you in the pharmacy as he works, trying to maneuver around behind you with a jar full of dried herbs in hand and a kiss being pressed to your forehead as he says ‘excuse me, husband’ certainly did something to you. Even if that something was just amuse you. Surely, those on the older side lingering around would raise a brow at the sight.
“Just drink your water.”
Leaning against the counter, the corner of the material pressing into your rear, you looked back down at the floor. Staring down the scuffs in the polished wood. Something so beautiful that has been torn apart, shaped into what was demanded of it. The wood didn't have a choice, but he did.
Baizhu always did.
“Did anyone drop off any shoutao bao this morning? Last week, there was some in the usual stock of gifts left right outside, and I must admit to craving-”
Just like he was choosing to distract you. To make it easier for you to stand here with him.
“You can't eat like this. We both know that.” You huffed, only to regret it a second later. A sigh “Look. Just…Cmon Bai.”
Baizhu pulled the razor away from his face. Only one line had been dragged across his chin, and it had taken the time of this entire conversation for him to gather enough strength to do so without risking cutting his skin. The silver shining in the low light of the lanterns. “You are just as stubborn as I am.”
“What's that Liyuan saying again?” You asked, mainly to yourself even if it caused Baizhu to glance over at you. “Dead ducks and something something.”
“‘Dead ducks’ is the full term. Though, to so readily imply I am beyond help isn't very nice.”
“Then prove me wrong.”
Grabbing his hand, you pulled the razor away, letting it rest on the counter for now. One can't plead their case if they feel they need to watch for any mishaps or slip ups. Now, can they?
“If I even knick you in the slightest, you can bring this very moment up to me and be like: ‘my oh so precious darling fiance, do you not recall what happened last time?”’
“Your accent is coming along, my petal. Give it a bit more time, and you might even sound like you truly do hail from Chenyu Vale.”
“I need it for every time I mock you.” You said with a scoff.
Raising Baizhu's hand to your lips you press a kiss to the center of his palm. To his fingers. To the spot right over his pulse. All while Baizhu watches, lips quirked up every time your lips met his skin. ‘I love you’ is repeated between each gentle kiss. Trying to give him all you could in this quiet hour that only you shared before he turned around and passed his own life out like candy. Again.
“You would normally call this guilt tripping or bribing if I pulled the same thing.” Baizhu pointed out.
“That's,” another kiss, “because when it comes from you, it is.”
There was silence for a moment, just your breathing his short gasps for air, but it was interrupted all too shortly as you could hear the sound of the razor against the counter again as its picked up. Sliding over that smooth surface for only a moment. You were about to take it back, snatch it, and hold it out of arm's reach, but he was already speaking before you could interject.
“Then this once, my dear. However-”
“If I do knick you, you'll hold it over my head for months?”
There was that grin again, teeth poking out from his chapped lips. You'd have to urge him into drinking more water soon enough. The little he got down clearly wouldn't suffice, but for now, all you could do was hold the blade to his skin.
Trust was such a hard thing for you two, having to work around lies and wishful thinking on both your ends. It was something to work on. Built day by day like a house being slowly erected. Walls being raised to stand tall, windows to be put in, insulation, a roof. But first, you have to start from the ground up, and you swiped the razor along his skin for the first time.
“So, wifey?”
“Baizhu, I swear to Morax, you better shut up and let me work.”
#hoyoverse#genshin impact#genshin x reader#x reader#genshin impact x reader#gn reader#baizhu x reader#baizhu x you#baizhu x y/n#baizhu#banner by cafekitsune
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I wasn't expecting you 3/5
Chapter Summary - Welcome, Crowley
Crowley spends his first evening at the pub with the other shopkeepers on Whickber Street, and thanks to the meddling of some of them, gets to know the bookseller better.
Notes
I'm back from my holidays and ready to continue the story of the barista and the book seller.
As you can see, I've added one chapter to the total, because the last chapter needed to be cut.
On Ao3
Rating G - 1872 words
Chap 1 - Chap 2 - Chap 3 - Chap 4
Crowley took a deep breath and opened the door of the Dirty Donkey. He wasn't the shy type, but experience had taught him to be cautious, and it had been a long time since he had sought the company of others who had often disappointed him.
However, this was the first time in a long time that he'd been welcomed into a group without having to make an effort to be friendly, so he decided to give it a try.
Not to mention a bookseller who had more than piqued his interest.
When the barista entered the crowded pub, he immediately looked around for Nina or any other member of the group that was supposed to be there, and of course the first thing he noticed was the tuft of tousled pale hair.
Then his eyes were drawn to Nina waving at him, and he saw that everyone was already there. Noticing that they all had a drink in front of them, Crowley stopped at the bar to order a glass of Talisker and, glass in hand, made his way to the table.
As he approached the group, Maggie pushed herself aside to give him a seat between Aziraphale and herself.
She pulled out a chair and patted it, saying, "Crowley, come and sit here!"
Crowley put his glass on the table and said gently, "Thanks, but you didn't have to bother."
Mrs. Sandwich, or rather Rosie as she had almost ordered him to call her, chuckled before replying, "Don't worry about it, darling. The two lovebirds are just happy to be closer."
As he sat down, he saw that Maggie and Nina did indeed look happy to be closer as they intertwined their hands. Then his eyes went around the table and he said to the group, "Hello everyone."
A concert of greetings and welcoming words answered him, making him feel more and more at ease, despite the fact that a week ago he didn't even know anyone.
When the general chatter died down, Nina raised her glass and said in a loud voice, "I'd like to propose a toast to Crowley. You know how much of a pain in the ass I can be..." she paused as there was some snickering around the table, then continued, "Yes, yes, I do, and yet Crowley rose to the challenge with flying colors, so that deserves a first round, it's on me!"
Everyone offered their own little comment, from light-hearted digs at Nina's temper to praise for his new employee's patience. Crowley listened and watched, smiling and sipping his drink, nodding from time to time.
Suddenly, Aziraphale's hand resting on his arm snapped him out of his thoughts as the bookseller leaned over and said kindly in a low voice, "They can be a little overwhelming sometimes, but they're all very nice. And I can see they appreciate you already."
Crowley nodded and replied in the same tone, "It's been a long time since I've been among such open and... welcoming people, it's a little strange..."
Aziraphale asked gently as he removed his hand from Crowley's arm, "We're all a bit special here in a way, but do you mean strange in a good way or a bad way?"
Crowley smiled sweetly and replied, "Good. I think I could get used to it."
Aziraphale clinked his glass against his and said softly, only for Crowley's ears, "I hope so. Welcome here."
Again, something passed between them, indefinable but very much there, as Crowley replied almost in a whisper, "Thank you."
Without breaking eye contact, each took a sip from his glass and smiled.
However, the moment of grace was short-lived when they were interrupted by Aziraphale's other table neighbor, Mr. Brown, who moved closer to Aziraphale and said in a loud voice for the entire table to hear, "I couldn't help but overhear part of your conversation and I couldn't agree with you more, Aziraphale, we're all a little bit special, here. But I have to say, Crowley, you are really special. I mean, that hair and especially those eyes. It's not natural, really, and-"
Aziraphale interrupted, exclaiming, "I think it's pretty!"
Crowley couldn't hold back a small gasp, which made Aziraphale realize what he'd just said. The bookseller coughed and stood up, saying, "I see everyone's glasses are empty, so the next round's on me, since my return seems to be one of the reasons for this little party. I'll order from the bar."
Before Crowley could respond, the carpet seller stood and added, "I'll help him."
Crowley watched them walk away, a little, a lot if he was honest, annoyed by Mr. Brown's kind of possessive behavior.
Then, as his gaze shifted to Aziraphale, he thought again of the bookseller's words.
"I think it's pretty!"
He'd heard a lot of things said about his distinctive amber eyes: strange, weird, freaky, fake. But to hear them described as pretty with such warmth in the voice, never.
"Awww, Crowley, your cheeks are as red as your hair!"
He couldn't help but touch his cheeks as he turned to Nina, who had just spoken when Rosie gave a thumbs up and said, "Go for it!"
Crowley muttered, "Go for it! Go for it! Looks like the other redhead here is already in the place."
Maggie, who was closest to him, heard him and said softly, "Oh, no, don't think so. You have no reason to be jealous. I'm the one who's known Aziraphale the longest, and he's never looked at anyone the way he looks at you."
Nina, Justine, Rosie, and even Mr. Arnold, the music store owner who didn't talk much, nodded in support of Maggie's words as Aziraphale and the carpet seller returned with the drinks.
What he didn't see were the winks they all shared.
Just as Aziraphale and Mr. Brown were about to sit down, Rosie stood up and said to the rug seller, "Let's change seats, I need to talk to your neighbor and it's not easy with someone between us, sorry Justine."
Justine, who was sitting between Mr. Arnold and Rosie, shook her head and replied, "That's good, because I wanted to talk to Arthur about new carpets for the restaurant."
Crowley met Nina's gaze as she winked at him and couldn't suppress a small laugh that went unnoticed as everyone took their seats. In the space of a week, he'd come to realize that Whickber Street was full of gossip and that everyone liked to meddle in each other's lives. He didn't usually like that, but he was beginning to realize that it was more about caring than meddling, and that was new, too. People who cared about him.
The atmosphere at the table calmed down a bit as Justine engaged the grumpy Mr. Brown in a discussion about a possible sale that brought a smile back to the seller's face, Rosie struck up a conversation with the placid Mr. Arnold, and Nina and Maggie were carrying on a discussion reserved for them alone, judging by the enamored looks the two women exchanged.
Crowley took a sip of his drink and, alcohol helping, couldn't help but ask the bookseller, "Do you really think it's pretty?"
Aziraphale's gaze was incredibly gentle as he replied, "I rarely say things I don't mean. I mean, yellow is my favorite color, my car is yellow, a lot of things in my shop have that warm hue, so of course I think your eyes are pretty."
Other than a throaty thank you, Crowley found nothing to say in response to Aziraphale's disarming honesty.
After a few seconds of silence, the other man asked, "So tell me, what made you want to answer Nina's ad?"
Encouraged by the bookseller's openness, Crowley had no desire to go down the road of pretense and half-truths, and replied with equal honesty, "I have no family or ties, and I've never stayed in one place long enough to form a bond. With my looks, people don't trust me easily, and-"
Aziraphale, listening to Crowley with his chin resting on his hand, interrupted, "You could have changed your look."
Crowley, sensing no judgment in the other man's voice or expression, shook his head and said, "And not be me anymore? Impossible."
Aziraphale, obviously approving of Crowley's answer, nodded and the barista continued, "After another professional disappointment, the chance of my path brought me here, and Nina's ad came at just the right time, as I was looking to settle down for something more permanent, something that would last. And icing on the cake, I seem to be accepted for who I am here."
Aziraphale replied quietly, "I'm delighted you've decided to put your bags down here, and if I may add, there's nothing to accept, you're fine as you are. At least for me."
Crowley replied, "Thank you. If I may say so, you're very direct."
"In my family, it was better not to say what was on your mind, and now that I'm free of that, I don't want to waste any more time on hypocrisy and pretense."
Crowley replied with a broad smile, "I like that."
In their own world, the two men continued to chat, oblivious to the knowing, affectionate glances of the conspirators around the table. There was another round of drinks, this time courtesy of Crowley, and the evening was well underway when they decided to leave the Dirty Donkey.
A few more pleasantries were exchanged and then everyone headed home. Aziraphale and Crowley watched in amusement as Nina and Maggie carried a drunken Mr. Brown home, and Justine waved to them before walking away, following in Mr. Arnold's footsteps.
Crowley turned to the bookseller and they looked at each other for a few moments in silence.
"So this is love, lalala lalala... So this is what makes life divine..."
They turned to Rosie, who had just hummed past them, and she turned back, waving her hand.
"Good night, boys."
Crowley chuckled softly, "They're not very subtle."
Aziraphale replied with a chuckle, "No, but I can't blame them, can you?"
Crowley looked intently at Aziraphale in silence before replying in a clear voice, "No. Not at all."
Aziraphale held out his hand and said gently, "Well, good night, Crowley, and see you tomorrow."
Crowley took the bookseller's hand and asked, confused, "Tomorrow?"
Aziraphale's smile turned mischievous as he replied, "Well, yes, for my pastry."
"Oh, you come to Nina's every day?"
Aziraphale shook his head.
"No, but I have a reason to now. Good night, Crowley."
Crowley, once again surprised by the bookseller's straightforward attitude, replied, "Good night, Aziraphale. See you tomorrow."
Aziraphale nodded, then walked away toward the bookshop.
Crowley followed him with his eyes for a while before heading for the coffee shop. When he reached the door, he put the key in the lock and couldn't help but look back at the bookshop one last time, only to see to his surprise that the bookseller had done the same.
Crowley waved one last time before entering his building, this time without looking back.
For the first time in a long time, he felt hope blossom within him, and he didn't stop himself from relishing it.
Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.
_________
Still not beta'd
Still not my native language
Still hoping you'll enjoy this story 🥰
Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝
Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here
#good omens#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#ineffable boyfriends#aziraphale#crowley#good omens fanfiction#aziraphale x crowley#crowley x aziraphale#human au#alternate universe#Coffee shop AU
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the amount of times i Do This must be a joke at this point but here i am. doing it once more. izaya's highschool videogame SCREAMS "i just found out i have aspd and i am NOT taking it well." and i shall explain how
a preface: wrt "how did he know in high school, don't you have to be 18?" you do.... with the dsm guidelines. japan, iirc, uses a conbination of the dsm and icd to diagnose mental illnesses, and the age stipulation isn't in the icd. also, shinra could have told him, and lbr shinra wouldnt care about strictly adhering to the age thing
anyway i went thru and highlighted different parts of the videogame's text, so i can easier explain which part means what. i'll primarily be focusing on the chronic boredom associated with aspd- since izaya's game deals with patience, most musings in it will be related to that boredom. but the boredom, especially izaya's, IS important, as its the boredom that drives him to do what he does. to be what he is.
(shoutout to miyukiwinter for the scan)
so... the red bit. this relates to izaya's worldview of the need to keep evolving to escape the mundane, and it not mattering if you aim high or low. now at this point, izaya was solidly in some shady shit and clearly on the path of the low aim. but the thing is, about aspd... the boredom is all consuming. you'll do ANYTHING to not be bored. i've seen people say they developed substance abuse problems to escape the boredom, and i confess... i've done it too. it truly is THAT bad
i say all this because... izaya will never be able to stop going lower, and lower, and lower. he's fated to fall forever. maybe he wouldve been able to brush his behavior off as teenage craziness, but with a diagnosis like aspd it becomes increadingly obvious that there is no "oh, i'll mellow out once i reach my 20s." it's not going to happen, at least, not without great effort. and lets be real, nobody has any faith in aspd's recovery rates, less so in the early 2010s, so izaya upon diagnosis would see NO FUTURE for himself. no escape from the cycle. he's trapped.
the blue bits are a bit more vauge, but the undertainty turning to loss evokes the next stage after the initial shock of diagnosis: grief. and make no mistake, there IS a grieving process with mental health diagnoses. you go from being shocked and scared, to being depressed and numb.
but there's... another layer to this, with aspd. you see it with cluster b disorders in general, but aspd is HUGE in the pop culture zeitgeist
the layer is, the idea that People Like That don't feel emotions. that any emotional display is false and an explicit ploy to mainpulate someone
and when this inevitably ends up untrue, you might start to feel... odd... about feeling those emotions people say you can't feel. and one of the biggest emotions aspd gets that with, is fear and by extension, anxiety.
some aspd people genuinely do feel reduced fear! but it's far from being a diagnostic criteria, and aspd can actually be comorbid with anxiety disorders. but scientific facts and wider culture rarely match up, so the idea persists
so izaya might have started to think.... was he ever truly anxious? or worried? was he really more rotten than people thought; was he just mainpulating people the whole time? does he really not feel anxiety? was his nervousness over things like shinra leaving him or hell, this diagnosis, rendered null and void?
and then we reach the teal portion.... despair
(just a sidenote, tumblr has no teal color option so it'll just be blue)
in this sense, "the hole" refers to the endless downward spiral, and his diagnosis- but not just having it. no, "the hole" most likely refers to the moment izaya developed it in the first place.
who are you, if you thought you were in control your whole life, but you found out that the reason you do the things you do were because of foeces beyond your control? who are you now, having a label you know will cause everyone to see you as nothing but a stereotype?
why was he still alive, suffering like this? what point is it to be alive, controlled by something you can't fight, forced to make your life worse and worse and worse, until you die young?
so now what? who did this to him?
in the game, the hatred is towards "the player." and honestly this could have multiple different meanings when applied to izaya's own life
does he hate god? was he raised religious, his father being a christian, and was this what made him lose faith? what loving god would condemn someone to suffer like this?
does he hate his parents? after all, it was their genetics that passed this down, their upbringing that nurtured it, their neglect that made him the way he was. is it their fault?
or... does he hate himself, for being the way that he is? for having it in the first place, for not being able to overcome it, for having such a bad reaction to it?
for being too cowardly to kill himself?
which brings us to the final segment. awareness.
he says outright, the game is depicting the player's life. in the game itself, this ties into his mockery of players, but in a meta sense, it could be a hidden admission that it's depicting his life
especially the talk of meaningless games- fooling around with nakura creating small gangs, betting pools, and his eventual adult pastimes of messing with people. is his life enriched? no, it's merely occupied, and he knows it. he might have repressed it as an adult, but here, in high school, at this moment, he knows.
and if he can never truly alleviate his boredom, never truly be fufilled, then he can act like he's in control all he wants, but he's no better than a man falling in a hole.
#izaya orihara#orihara izaya#durarara#durarara side stories#AYYYYYY WE R SO BACK#im still v stressed about moving BUT i couldnt resist i HAD to write smth about this#i havent had the money to get the side stories book!!! 😭😭#all my money is going towards movingggg and bills#hashtag still open for commissions#waposts
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Ugghh been consuming some bnha stuff and I'm reminded of why I largely prefer fanfiction over the actual story. I have so much hate and pettiness within me. Even so, I am never going to change my mind on how much I hate how bnha is just an amalgamation of wasted potention. Search the definition of wasted potential up and there's just an image of bnha.
I remember watching it as the first season was coming about because it was made by Bones and I just have to watch it in that case. I watched episode one and was so excited.
We have our mc, Midoriya Izuku, being powerless in a world full of quirks.
His childhood friend turned bully, Bakugou Katsuki, is shown to be favoured by literally everyone and this feeds into his ego.
All Might, the number one hero, is jaded and powerless for 21 hours of the day because of a fight nobody knew existed. Izuku is attacked and helpless, but saved by All Might. All Might tells him he can't become a hero. A much needed reality check because Izuku didn't work out a single bit before then and it's so incredibly hard to fight someone who has something you lack.
Then Bakugou is attacked and helpless. Bakugou, who is so much stronger and who people love, is left useless, only able to make the situation worse with his explosions creating a fire hazard. The pro-heroes can't do anything. All Might and Izuku both hate themselves for the part they played and how useless they are. Then Izuku sees how scared Bakugou is. He runs in, inspiring All Might as he mocks himself for breaking Izuku's dream yet forgetting the core of heroism.
Then, after all is said and done, All Might goes back to Izuku. And he tells him he can become a hero.
...
Then he offers him One for All. Now, when I was watching this for the first time, I was so disappointed. You set up a powerless mc in a world full of powers and you just give him the power of the strongest hero? Great. But, I kept watching.
I watched Izuku work to get his power, struggle even after getting a quirk. I watched as Izuku finally stood up for himself and win against Bakugou. I watched as the series went on and I... I started noticing more and more missed opportunities.
See, bnha is supposed to be a zero to hero story. It's supposed to be about the mc going from powerless to powerful. But it does it so quickly. Suddenly, it's not about Izuku finding his own form of strength, or realising how being quirkless may not give any advantages but it also has no disadvantages, or even any commentary on quirk discrimination or fantastic racism or anything.
It turns into a story about controlling your power. It's not what I signed up for.
That's just one missed potential. There's so many more. Horikoshi clearly tries to make some commentary on quirk discrimination and female heroes/sexism in the workplace and entertainment over peace. There's some effort put into making a comment on how heroes are glorified and people don't see them as public workers, they see them as celebreties.
But it's never delved into. We don't see how bad people with mutant or 'villainous' quirks are treated, and we don't see how people with weak quirks are treated, or how the quirkless are treated (because the only reason Izuku was treated so horribly was because of Bakugou). We don't see how female heroes need to have a bit of allure in their personas to have any sort of support.
Yuuei is literally a camp for making child soldiers, yet there's no controversy over it? There's no such things as heroes having to take lethal action and no moral dilemmas over it? There's nobody speaking out about how Midnight flirts with students?
We have literally no information about how heroes work. We don't know how their salaries are decided, how they're ranked, how undergound heroes work. if twilight heroes are a thing, how anybody but Rock Lock feels about bringing children into adult matters, (seriously, why do people hate Rock Lock for being rightfully worried about having 15 year olds in a raid against the yakuza), we don't know how villains work and how to decide if one's a criminal or a villain.
Heck, the only laws we know of are fanon, and the canon stupid idea that you can't use your quirk in self-defense.
It's just. Incredibly infuriating.
Also, analysis as a whole is so under-utilised. Both Izuku and Shigaraki are deemed creepy for their analysis, which is such a useful tool. I mean, Izuku accurately guesses Stain's quirk, which is useful because, otherwise, they wouldn't be wary about Stain licking their blood or cutting them. Shigaraki accurately guesses the time intervals between Aizawa's blinks, which helps him a shit ton.
But is it ever used outside of these situations? No. The thing is, quirks are scientific in nature, not magic. Therefore, they're not restricted like magic is. Fire doesn't always have to be fire, it can be smoke or just heat. Ice can be water or steam. Acid can melt through anything or just be used as a mario kart banana peel.
There was so much missed potential and that's exactly why there's so much fan content.
Horikoshi leaves so much out, and everything he misses tends to be the interesting parts. He willfully explains Bakugou's quirk in detail, but everyone else? Nah. Fuck them.
I mean, let's look at Ochako's quirk.
Gravity negation. Or is it? See, if it were just gravity negation, then two things, in particular, would happen. First of all, Izuku would have fucking died when she saved him from falling. Second of all, she would not have been able to get infinity in the ball throw.
Negating gravity does not negate the forces. Therefore, when she saved Izuku from falling, he would have still been affected by the force of his fall. It would have been no different from hitting the concrete. Additionally, when she threw the ball, it kept going. Air drag would have made it so that she couldn't possibly get an infinity.
More accurately, rather than force negation as some fanfics suggests, she's telekinetically accelerating whatever she touches. She telekinetically accelerates Izuku's body to stop him falling, and does the reverse for the ball, making it so that it continues to accelerate after she throws it.
See what I mean? Because Horikoshi gave Bakugou's quirk a scientific explanation with him sweating a nitroglycerin-like substance and being able to spark it, you have to look at every quirk with scientific knowledge. He could have said 'oh, yeah, I store energy from my quirk in these gauntlets' but Hori just had to be a smartass.
By the way, because of Bakugou's explanation, it's possible that his quirk is not what is named. Yes, it's possible to have two sides of a quirk, as we see in Shouto, but Bakugou's quirk isn't explained in the same way.
Rather than his quirk being creating explosions, his quirk is more like creating sparks in his palms. Why? Well, you see. Bnha never delves into actual quirk theory, but there's more than enough canon evidence that you have one main quirk and then one or more quirk mutations. For example, Ashido Mina's quirk is secreting acid that she can manipulate the acidity and viscocity of. Her appearance is not related to her quirk at all, meaning it's a quirk mutation from her parents. Same with Tokoyami Fumikage. Quirk is Dark Shadow, so there's no need for the bird head.
Why does this relate to Bakugou? Let me explain: Bakugou explains that he recieved a mutation from his parents with his mother secreting glycerin and his father sweating acid with combustive properties. In other words, Bakugou inherited nitroglycerin-like sweat from his parents, but his actual quirk is being able to create sparks.
His quirk is 'Sparks'. Not Explosions.
Why am I ranting about this? Because bnha completely misses all of this! It makes no sense which is a shame because the concept is so interesting! But then it throws away any scraps of potential left when it becomes 'My Kacchan Academia'.
Seriously, why do people and why does Horikoshi love abusive pieces of shit so much? Why did he throw away the potential to look into Shouto and his siblings' feeling about Endeavour? Why did he make Dabi's plot all about Endeavour instead of Shouto?
It's so easy to compare the ways Dabi and Shouto handle their trauma and their ways of revenge. It's so easy to look at Dabi and think about how easy it would have been for Shouto to become like him.
Shouto was transfixed on Endeavour. Everything he did related back to his hate for Endeavour. Using his quirk, fighting, grades, social interaction, everything. His only reason for becoming a hero is to spite Endeavour. It's only because Izuku reaches out to him and saves him from his own toxic mindset that he's able to move one and do things for himself.
Dabi, or Touya, on the other hand, doesn't get that. He doesn't get that person who recognises how far he's gone, how, in trying to spite Enveavour, he's living a life centred on him. How he's jealous of his little brother for being abused and tormented.
While Shouto became a hero to spite Endeavour, Dabi became a villain.
They're both full of hatred at first, but Shouto is saved from that spiral. Izuku helps him. Dabi doesn't have that. It would have been so interesting to see these two face of as parellels, but nope. It's all about Endeavour. Shouto is nothing more than an accessory.
I understand Dabi being hung up on Endeavour, but to outright replace Shouto with the abusive flaming trashbag? No.
Also, if Horikoshi wanted Dabi to be seen as sympathetic or redeemable, don't make him kill innocent people. Don't make it so that he unlocks an ice aspect to his quirk in a life-or-death situation because all that means is that Endeavour was right to hurt Touya the way he did. All that says is Endeavour should have hurt him more.
AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BAKUGOU.
This piece of shit bullied Izuku relentlessly for years, used his quirk on him (yes that is canon), told him to end his life, tried to assault him in Yuuei, tried to kill him, threw a tantrum at an abused kid for not being magically okay with using a quirk that reminded him of his abusive father, assaults Izuku when he tries to work together but still magically gets a pass for being carried out unconcious which Sero was failed for, and the list just keeps growing.
Oh, but my bad. He has a sad backstory. You see, he fell in a river.
#bnha#mha#my hero acedamia#boku no hero academia#izuku deserves better#cnaon is awful#so much missed potential#anti bakugou#anti endeavor#anti bakugou katsuki#bnha critical#mha critical#analysis#character analysis#this is why fanfiction exists#fanfic > canon#stop hating on all might#i didn't include them but i also have beef with shinsou and aizawa#also all for one should have stayed dead after kamino#and bakugou's apology was awful
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i’ve got you
JJ Maybank x sister!reader
summary: an anxious Y/N feels overwhelmed while partying with the pogues at the boneyard, and JJ does his best to calm her nerves.
warning(s): underaged drinking, panic attack
a/n: a big thank you to anyone who enjoyed my last maybank!sister snippet. i hope to write a lot more for JJ in the future, so feel free to leave any requests if you have any specific ideas of what you’d like to read!
also please let me know if i should make these shorter. lol. i'm never sure.
Y/N screwed her eyes shut, trying and failing to keep her hands from trembling as they dented her red solo cup. Her heart was beating so fast that her head could barely keep up, the loud music and sweaty bodies that enclosed her doing nothing to ease her mind.
It was a picturesque summer night out in the boneyard, which of course meant that the Pogues just had to have a kegger. Y/N had grown used to the routine by then, tagging along as they went out to buy the keg and an insane amount of plastic cups that Kie always complained she found littered all over the beach the morning after. Y/N typically helped in the prep for whatever wild evening lay ahead, and had even served as a DD the few times that the Pogues got plastered enough to willingly allow a 15-year-old to drive the Twinkie. However, despite her brother's constant pleading and nagging, she'd never actually attended one of their infamous beach parties.
At least, not until tonight.
Y/N had always been shy, the complete opposite of her elder brother and all of his wild impulsivity. She hated big crowds and loud noises, and even though she would occasionally drink one while out on the Pogue, she wasn't even the biggest fan of beer. But JJ had begged her to join them all day long, poking and prodding at her nerves in his attempts to finally get his baby sister out of her shell.
"Come on, Y/N. You really wanna spend the rest of your life cooped up in the chateau?" he'd said dramatically, throwing his hands up in desperation. "You really oughtta live a little sometime."
You really oughtta live a little sometime.
His words had haunted her well into the evening, and at the last minute she'd finally decided to bite the bullet. JJ was right, after all. While most kids her age were busy making memories and taking risks, she spent her evenings curled up with a book in her lap.
Sure, it wouldn't be the most comfortable experience, but what was the worst that could happen? After all, like her brother always said, stupid things had good outcomes all the time.
She made a mental note to correct JJ on that stupid motto as someone pushed past her, blowing chunks into the bushes only a few feet away from rigid form.
Y/N covered her nose, averting her gaze just in time to notice a familiar head of blond hair breaking through the mess of bodies whooping and grinding on one another.
"Holy shit!" JJ hollered wildly, dimples painfully visible in his state of drunken bliss. "Tom, that's some gnarly shit, man! Trust me, you're gonna feel that tomorrow." He gave the boy a pat on the back as he retched, though thankfully the steady stream of vomit had ended.
Y/N only stood and watched. It was clear that JJ hadn't seen her, but maybe that was for the best. The last thing she wanted was to ruin his night.
"Yo, Y/N/N!"
Too late.
JJ made his way over in sloppy strides, and Y/N turned up her nose at the stench of alcohol clinging to him. He pulled her into him with an arm slung over her shoulders.
"Hi, Jay." Y/N hoped her brother was drunk enough not to notice the tremble in her voice.
"Where'd you go, kid? I've been looking for you all night." He was leaning on her now, gleefully unaware as he slowly crushed her beneath his weight. Y/N groaned with the effort it took to keep her brother upright, struggling not to remind him that it was in fact he who left her to do some shots and never returned.
"Yeah I was . . . I was j-just--"
"Shit, I didn't know you were drinking. That's my girl," he slurred with a wink, pointing at the cup Y/N was damn near close to dropping. It was all getting too much for her—JJ's weight boring into her side, the overwhelming stench of beer, the screaming mouths and dancing bodies slowly closing her in. She felt like a caged animal, her lungs tight and chest heavy.
"Hey, you seen Pope yet? I lost him an hour ago—saw him walk off with some blonde chick with a tramp stamp. Oh, you need a top-up? You should go now, 'm pretty sure the keg's getting low."
JJ continued to ramble on as Y/N crumbled underneath him, her eyes searching desperately for somewhere to go.
"Aw man, I love this song!" Y/N gasped as JJ began jerking her around, forcing her to sway back and forth with him. "Yo, Kurt! Turn that shit up bro!"
Y/N felt blood rushing to her ears, her hands growing clammy as her nerves took over. You're fine, she told herself. You're fine, you're fine. But it wasn't working—she couldn't hear herself think over the music blaring from the speakers.
"Come on, loosen up Y/N! Let's dance!"
"No!" Y/N reached her breaking point, escaping from beneath her brother's outstretched arm. JJ stumbled, just barely managing to catch himself and get a good look at the fear etched into Y/N's features.
"What? Y/N—" He held out a hand that she cringed away from, breathing raggedly as she backed away.
"Just leave me alone!"
"Y/N!" JJ called after her as she ran off, not knowing exactly where she was headed but intent on getting away. She wound up crouching behind a small hill across from the bustling core of the party, far enough away that the music finally fell to an acceptable volume.
Y/N brought her knees to chest and buried her face in them, fingers tugging at her hair as tears spilled from her eyes. Stupid, stupid, stupid. How could she be dumb enough to let JJ convince her that this would be a good idea? Y/N forced her breathing to slow as her chest tightened, coughing in her feeble attempts.
Y/N had listened to a few songs run their course by the time she managed to get a grip on herself, her breaths steadying as she counted eight-second inhales and eight-second exhales. Still Y/N rested her forehead against her knees, so dead-set on staying calm that she didn't notice the sound of JJ's footsteps in the sand.
"Hey." Y/N gasped, her head shooting upright as she scrambled to back away from whoever had found her. "Hey, calm down. It’s alright, Y/N." She sighed in relief when she recognized JJ's outline in the dark, her brother crouched before her shrunken form. "It's okay. Just me."
"Oh," she mumbled. "Sorry."
"'S okay. Didn't mean to scare you." He awkwardly held out another cup to her, which she observed warily. "Don't worry, it’s just water. Figured it might help more than beer."
Y/N smiled, accepting JJ's peace offering gratefully. "You'd be right about that." She greedily drank it all one gulp, only then realizing how dry her mouth had gotten. "Thanks, Jay."
"Least I could do, since I forced you to come her." Y/N sighed, noticing the guilt swimming in her brother's blue eyes.
"You didn't force me."
"Well, I might as well have."
"it's not your fault, JJ." He rested a comforting hand on her knee.
"Sure it is. I knew you didn't like this kind of scene and I dragged you here anyway." He ran his free hand through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut as regret consumed his intoxicated mind.
"It's okay." Y/N shuffled closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. JJ ruffled her hair. "Sorry I can't be a party animal like you."
"Ah, don't sweat it. Makes my job a lot easier, anyway." Y/N giggled, shoving him lightly, and JJ couldn't help but smile. "So, what's the plan? Want me to drive you home?"
Y/N scoffed. "I don't even think you could if you tried."
"Oh, Y/N," He teased her with a smile, "you severely underestimate my driving skills."
"And you severely overestimate my willingness to die." JJ chuckled at that. "Plus, who said I wanted to leave?"
"Wait . . . you're gonna stay?'
"Yeah, why not? I mean, I've made myself a pretty comfy hideout over here." JJ pouted.
"I guess . . ." JJ looked down at her with a smirk. "Or you could try the party again."
Immediately Y/N felt that skin-crawling uncertainity take over once more. She bit at her bottom lip. "I don't . . . I dunno, Jay."
"Look, I promise I won't leave you this time. We can just sit around the campfire—maybe try to find Kie or something. What'd'ya think?" He held out a hand to her. "We'll take it slow."
Y/N considered this for a moment, eventually taking hold of her brother's hand. "Okay."
"Sweet!" JJ tried his best to stand, but only wound up falling back on his ass. "I'm gonna need some help getting up, though."
Y/N laughed, hoisting her brother to his feet with a grunt, and JJ smiled as she allowed her hand to linger in his while they walked. The very same way she did when they were little.
Just like JJ promised, he found the two of them a space to sit by the blazing campfire and never left Y/N's side.
・❥・
Hours had passed before the kegger had begun to die down, their beer long gone and speakers long dead. The rest of the Pogues had finally joined the Maybanks around the fire pit, and the group listened comfortably as Kie plucked at the strings of her ukulele. "Y'know, Jay. I wouldn't mind trying this kegger thing again."
JJ smiled. "You mean it?"
"Yeah, I mean it." She snuggled closer to his chest, absorbing whatever extra heat his body offered. "As long as you're there to hold my hand."
#obx#outer banks#jj maybank#jj obx#jj outer banks#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x sister!reader#jj maybank x sister reader#sister!reader#maybank!reader#the outer banks#jj maybank drabble#jj maybank fluff#outer banks fluff
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Case: L̶0V̶3A̶N̶D̶R̶3V̶3N̶63
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞!𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: 𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍, 𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊, 𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖉, 𝖌𝖚𝖓𝖘, 𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖚𝖆𝖌𝖊, 𝖒𝖆𝖋𝖎𝖆 𝖆𝖚, 𝖒𝖉𝖓𝖎 (𝖒𝖙𝖇𝖆)
𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔, 𝒓𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅/𝒐𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅!! ❦
𝐹𝑒𝑎𝑡. 𝐾𝑖𝑚 𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑜𝑜 𝑜𝑓 𝐸𝑛ℎ𝑦𝑝𝑒𝑛
ɴᴏᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴏғʀᴇᴀᴅ
Part 3:
"Oooh, she seems like a fiesty one- good catch, Jake!" Teases one of his teamates. Bad decision to ask Niki for help.
Jake hasn't been making progress, despite all his efforts. He was impressed, in a way, for the anonymous tip was very vague. A headstart of cat and mouse? He doesn't even know who he's searching for, who he's trying to catch. They were really testing Jake's ability, and they certainly pissed him off.
"Ugh, but like, who would have a connection with 'R3V3N63'?" He knew it meant 'revenge', but that's not enough to single it down to a few suspects.
"Pretty much anyone, even me! I want to get revenge on Heeseung for beating me in basketball." Niki jokes, unbothered by the whole situation. "Wel, I would think that the person would want revenge though, not that ordinary to use it as a secret identity." He continues on, "Just be careful, though, because now you're eventually going to meet up with them. You better not get abducted too!"
He was right: eventually, they are going to meet up with Jake, and he, possibly, might not know. He was in slight danger, with the possibilty of the appearance of the gang members. But why would they even want to get involved with him?
Ah, 𝐰𝐡𝐲? That's something he could work on.
"Hey, try to find out if this company has betrayed or just had a really bad connection with someone, because it's one of the things that can relate to revenge."
"Yes Sir!"
"Guys, I'm going out to town!" You announced, letting them know your location. To be honest, if you were attacked, you wouldn't need help. In just a few moves, you could beat them to a pulp.
Today, you decided to meet up with Sunoo, another best friend of yours. Although he isn't a mafia member, he does know what you do. Sunoo works at a cafe, a popular one in fact, all because of him. People say, "Even on the rainest of days, when I go to this cafe, I see the sunshine." And it's true, with his bright, bubbly smile of his, he certainly shines and takes many hearts- in a nice way.
You walk around in a comfy attire, perfect for walking around on a sunny day. Outside the cafe waits Sunoo, holding drinks in one hand and some pastries in the other. He was on his break, yet he was happily greeting people from time to time. Such a kind boy he is.
"Sunie!" You called, embracing him with open arms. It was nice being with him, he was so fun to be with.
"Ah! Y/nie! It's so good to see you!" He wrapped his occupied hands around you, "I kinda have a lot on my hands right now." He giggled.
You two just ate and talked away, each invested in the conversation. However, just as you were about to leave, a worker had to go somewhere for their own reasons. Sunoo tried to shoo you off, assuring you that they'll be just fine with one less worker, but having a strong will was a characteristic of yours, something that you've always got.
Everything was actually better with you helping out, serving the orders as quickly as possible with top quality taste. The costumer feedback gave the highest ratings, and it never got under a 5. Of course, it meant that the cafe earned more popularity, longer queues and a huge income of costumers. It went on for hours, but died down when the night gave a hint of its entrance, almost everyone returning to their homes.
The store closes at 8pm. You looked at your watch: 7:58pm. You assumed there would be no more costumers, seeing as to how dark and late it was, until you heard the bell ring.
"Uhh, do you still take costumers?" Asked the man.
Gosh, he was handsome, and he had such an alluring voice! His smile was the cherry on top.
You figured you could take one more, especially if it was from someone like him.
"Sure, it wouldn't hurt taking one more order. What would you like?"
He thought for a brief moment, still unable to get to a decision with the countless of items on the menu. "What's your favourite?"
You were taken aback, as no one really asked this, "Hmm, for me, it would be *enter your favourite drink*"
He smiled, liking how gentle yet outgoing you were. You felt welcoming, making him want to stay for longer. "I'll have that then."
You had to wait until it was finished, so you decided to make small talk with him. "Say, what you're name? I haven't seen you here much." His eyes gleamed when he looked at you, excited for no reason.
"Haha, I'm Jake, Jake Sim, or Sim Jaeyun if you want. And, yes, I haven't been here much. First time, actually. My colleagues kept on telling me how good this cafe was, so I wanted to have a taste, myself!"
Ah, we meet again, 𝑱𝒂𝒌𝒆. I haven't been up-to-date much, being busy with all the missions, but I didn't expect him to be this good-looking. However, he still looks like when he was a child, when the two of you met.
Should you give him a hint? After all, if you guys don't meet for another extended period of time, he'll probably give up on trying to hunt you guys down. What could you give him...
Ah! The sandwich when you two first met! If you say your name and give him the same sandwich, surely he'll remember you!
You looked around, hoping such a flavour would be in this cafe, and thankfully, it was. You fetched it, giving him the sandwich as casually as you can, before introducing yourself.
"I'm Y/n, Y/n L/n or L/n Y/n. Nice to meet you, Jake. Hopefully you'll like the sandwich! On the house." You gestured at the food.
He took a read of the label, "Oh, this is actually my favourite! Good choice!"
Y/n...that sounds familiar, not to mention the sandwich as well. How could she have picked the exact one? And it was the one I liked since I moved to Seoul with my dad...since I was ten. My heart was beating like crazy, I know her, I bet. My brain was trying to display the memory in my head, but it just didn't know what to grab for.
Who is this girl...
Why do I feel like I know her...
𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝑰 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝑰 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖?
𝑇𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔: @pockettwinzz @diorsyun @dollywons @hoonieshoneymain @heeslomll @emi-en @sungvrhs @potatohoon @rinbowaman @velvetkisscs @jaylaxies (lmk if you wanna be added through asks!)
#en-geneisaxx#enhypen#fyp#engene#kpop#enha#fanfic#enhypen jake x y/n#enhypen jake#enhypen jake ff#mafia#enhypen sunoo#enhypen ff#enhablr#y/n#angst#writer
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This is such a random question, but how would you describe Frank and Eddie's house? Is it a big one, decent sized? I wonder how they decorate the little kiddos room once they get him!
Okay okay but actually I think about this ALL the time
Because I never pictured Frank with a house. I always pictured this little apartment because they live in the city n stuff. Like the whole exposed brick walls kinda vibe but it’s incredibly small and I wanna draw it once I have a moment. But that’s where Frank lives. It’s all the space he needs for one person and whatever shitty landlord he has doesn’t really come for inspections so it’s pretty easy to hide all the murder junk when he needs to
Eddie on the other hand also has an apartment but I feel like it’s a little larger. Which like doesn’t necessarily match their jobs early on but hear me out
Frank is the type to make pretty good money and not buy really big and expensive things. Like his clothing is his nicest stuff aside from purchasing things for murders. Eddie on the other hand doesn’t selfishly spend or anything but he puts in a lot of money towards his living space to make it really comfy
#like Frank probably has some house plants and some potted plants out by his window#and he does have his many frames with bugs n things#like it’s homey but at first glance it’s like a bare bones apartment#eddie puts in more effort to make things comfy and make his living space his own special space#and I just know he was happy to drag some of franks things over there because that meant it got to be franks home too#crime puppets au#thing is though neither of them technically had the room for a child I don’t think#like I believe Eddie had a small guest room he used for storage if I recall some of my daydreams currently 😂#so I think Jamie went in there and Eddie watched him a little more often#oh yeah I picked Jamie btw that’s the kids name
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attendees please stop going up to people at artist alley tables and pretending to be interested in their work as an In to try and sell shit to them out of your backpack lmao. i promise promise PROMISE it does not work and in fact will get them to avoid you forever regardless of how cool your thing is. you're literally doing the thing mall kiosks do where they compliment you as you walk by then drag you over to sell you shit, except the reverse is worse because we are trapped behind a booth and the social contract lmao this is doing your career a NEGATIVE AMOUNT of favors
#the con crowds in colorado are generally MUCH much friendlier overall but man the concentration of people Handing Me Shit was SO much higher#some other art reminded me of this comic printout a guy threw at me that would have been legitimately cool#if he hadn't got me talking about#the things at my table#then went 'here's mine :)' and cornered me for ten minutes detailing how much effort he put into this thing he was desperately pushing#this isn't Networking this is just rude#and usually!! if we're having a legitimately pleasant chat and you mention you Do Stuff i will ask if i'm not busy!!#i had a very nice discussion with attendee making a cool game at wicked west and spent a LONG time talking to A Dad about his kid's work#as usual i am simply asking people to not be weird at artists we are humans regardless of table status lmao
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Its tragic that Regulus died but it's more tragic that he didn't have to. Kreacher could Apparate him from the cave. And if Regulus wanted to protect his family, his secret death achieves this how? He just disappears and Vold isn't looking for him or punishing deserter' family? Isn't worried that the boy whose house-elf he borrowed to test horcrux protection vanished? But the again, Vold wasn't shook when Kreacher showed up at Bella's in 5th book though elf supposedly died in that damn cave. XD
everything about regulus feels like an exercise in didn’t have to tbh
like yeah i know heroic teenager sacrificing himself blah blah but,,,,after reading a lot of fics that actually focus on worldbuilding/plot/side characters--im not entirely convinced that'sd what it was. like. if harry & co hadn't found the locket by sheer luck, then there's a v good chance things wouldnt have ended the way they had. reg ended up making things harder in his quest to vanquish the dark lord or wtv.
and like, im not even trying to bash here, but when i look at regulus the top character traits i see are arrogance, ambition, inflated sense of self worth, recklessness, and single mindedness (if thats valid). i mean,,,our boy could've easily asked sirius for help, he knew for a fact that his brother was on the other side, but he didnt. why? i cant see anything but ego there. he didnt even try. he was nowhere close to putting the cause above his own self.
but also,,,the fact that he actually went in the cave, presumably knowing he would die,,,that kinda indicates something much sadder for me. like, why else would he be so ok w the fact if he wasnt, say, unbearably suffocated and hopelessly over his head? if there wasnt latent suicidal ideation or, at the very least, a desire to get out, get away, not be here.
like, idk. i cant think of why he wouldnt ask kreacher to apparate him back/help him escape when he knew house elves could bypass the magic until he'd just fully accepted (perhaps even wished for) his death ykno?
#regulus black#i feel like i went off on a tangent there lol#but like. idk. i see reg as an interesting character#but he's still very much a kid for me ykno>#unless its au andpeople have put effort into it--i cant see him as some kind of suave chessmaster who was masterfully manipulating things#the way he wants them#his decisions indicated a high degree of reckless thinking#arguably even more so than sirius id say#and i dont think he used any kind of foresight either#all of which r super normal for teens yeah?#so coming back to the ask: yeah. i feel like a lot of what he did was basically 'didnt have to'#but he was also a possibly self centred teens (as they usually are) who felt like he was all alone (which in a way he was) who valued#his pride and also wanted to make a statement#his letter felt more like someone wanting desperately to leave a mark on the world theyre leaving behind#possibly bc they feel like theyve never done anything lol#actually looking at reg in terms of an inferiority complex is so interesting#sorry for fully psychoanalysing the guy im just rambling here lol#pen’s asks#pen’s notes
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