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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 4 years

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Chris Evans masterlist

Chris Evans HC

Going on a road trip with Chris and kiddos (headcannon)

Being married to Chris Evans would include(headcannon)

Chris Evans Imagines

imagine chris seeing you with a kid

imagine chris talking about the day you got married

imagine:chris broke up with you before you could tell him your pregnant

imagine:you and chris divorced and have two kids together/maybe it not to late to get back together

imagine chris talking about your twins

imagine chris seeing you for the first time

Imagine Chris seeing you with a kid after 2 years of being broken up (fluff)

Imagine Chris seeing you in a beautiful dress at an award show

Imagine your son thinking your so beautiful and he doesn’t want Chris to see you

Imagine Chris finding out his 3 year old has a boyfriend

Imagine your kids finding out that Chris is captain America

Imagine Chris being your neighbor and you wondering why didn’t put on pants.

Imagine Chris feeling like he failed as a father

Imagine Chris watching you play with his niece and nephew and he can’t help wonder how amazing you would be as a mom

Imagine Chris and your son telling the paparazzi no pictures

Imagine your son regret eating Wasabi

Imagine telling Chris that you want to make him a daddy on father’s day ~ smut

Chris Evans prompts

mamas boy 9&58

make me 48

i can’t keep kissing stranger and pretending their you 1,14&33

i forgive you 11

please marry me 32

hey just breath 29&10

92 and 84( smut)

76 and 91 ( angst, smut, fluff)

4 and 99(sad)

15 and 85(slightly angst, fluff)

quarantine proposal(fluff)

big fight (angst, fluff), breath with me (fluff)

shoulder pain(fluff)

thirsty tweet reveal (fluff)

he’s okay (angst, fluff, daddy Chris), period(fluff)

54&56(smut)

50,54,59(smut)

68&72(smut)

68,69,72(smut)

31,50,72(smut)

16,40(fluff)

Chris Evans:

exes to lover

8 letter

haters

accident happen how you think we …

heart eyes

daddy little fan

build a bear v teddy bear

baby love

falling like the stars

all way by your side

i will always protect you

rain can’t ruin the fun

give me nickname

your not a real fan

don’t touch her

im sorry

will you be there

i love you just the way you are

little valentine

best valentine day ever

admire your beauty

kick ass boyfriend

you and chris in quarantine

focus on my breathing

panic attack

sweater wearing dorks

i’m not good enough for you

moving to boston

beautiful in his eyes

have each other

strong mama

jealous chris

wear a longer skirt next time

i’m bored

that hurt my feelings

animal crossing

A place to sit ( smut)

Hot model (fluff, slightly smut)

Beautiful in his eyes ( fluff)

What!(angst, fluff)

Love me (smut)

Please forgive me(angst, fluff)

Bikini fun(smut, slight fluff)

Brazilian girl(smut)

Window (smut)

Hands(smut)

Dad’s friend (smut)

Chris Evans Fluff:

Not worth it || angst

You are the reason || fluff

Plane cancellation || fluff

Skype call || fluff

Back off, he’s mine || fluff, light Angst

Everything okay || fluff, light Angst

Social anxiety || fluff

Workout or dance party || fluff

Chris Evans Smut:

Fuck it || smut

Quick quiet sex || smut

Stuck with u || smut

Tapes || smut

His fingers are accurate || smut

Wild wet dream || smut

CEO barber || smut

Language || smut

Such a good mouth || smut

One bed || smut

Not so innocent maid || smut

Bathtub || smut

Daddy Chris:

Princess Chris ( fluff, daddy Chris)

Dance with me ( fluff, daddy Chris)

cuddle and kisses ( fluff, daddy Chris)

Late night protection (fluff, daddy Chris)

No kissing mama ( fluff, daddy Chris)

Helping daddy (fluff, daddy Chris)

Junk food convinced (fluff, daddy Chris)

3 month old talker( fluff, daddy Chris)

Twins ( fluff, daddy Chris)

Workout distraction (fluff, daddy Chris)

Reading a book (fluff, daddy Andy)

She’s growing up too fast (fluff, daddy Chris)

Little sister love (fluff, daddy Chris)

Shuts that out (fluff, daddy Andy)

Finally princesses (fluff, daddy Chris)

Busted (fluff, daddy Chris)

Bubbles (fluff, daddy Chris)

Not little anymore (fluff, daddy Chris)

New best friend (fluff, daddy Chris)

Skin to skin (fluff, daddy Chris)

Hungry baby, no (fluff, daddy Chris)

Peas (fluff, daddy Chris)

What are you doing Papa(fluff,daddy Chris)

Meeting little brother(fluff, daddy Chris)

Quarantine with kiddos(fluff, daddy Chris)

Mother’s day || dad! Chris

Memories || dad! Chris

Winnie the Pooh ||dad! Chris

Puppies || dad! Chris

Shy || dad! Chris

Bring us together || dad! Chris

Curly hair || dad! Chris

Quarantine baby || dad! Chris

Strawberries || dad! Chris

Bake a cake || dad! Chris

Sugar party || dad! Chris

Cuddles || dad! Chris

Morning with the Evans || dad! Chris

Disneyland || dad! Chris

FaceTime || dad! Chris

Pool day || dad! Chris

Big hands || dad! Chris

Not food || dad! Chris

Chris Evans oneshots:

Target - you lied and told Chris that you and your daughter weren’t going to target. He catches you both ~ Fluff

Double trouble maker - your twins break something and hide behind you, even though Chris isn’t mad ~ Fluff

Birthday special - Summary: it’s Chris’s birthday and since you both are still in quarantine, you want to give him a little show at home ~ smut

legal | Request : you wrote some dad figure!tom x teen actress!reader, can i get one with Chris Evans? maybe reader has been emancipated for awhile now n despite the fact that she’s been raising herself for a long time now, she still needs that parently guidance and maybe chris gives her that??? i hope that’s ok!! -🌙 ~ Fluff

Twins - I have a request, I was wondering if u can do a request, where the reader is African American and he and Chris are expecting towns, but they revel the news to Chris’s parents and your parents and also both of y’all grandparents?? ~ Fluff

Work this out - Can I request chris or henry tried to work through there divorce but end up with cute moments working it out ~ fluff

Princess - your Andy princess ~ smut

Surprise - I had another idea, what if Chris was being interviewed and you and your guys daughter who’s 4, came and surprised him, but once your daughter saw Chris she runs up to him and yells daddy!! - Fluff

Fort - Summary: it’s a rainy day and you, Chris, and your son build a fort ~ Fluff

Slobbery kisses - Chris wakes up to sloppy kisses by his baby ~ Fluff

Can’t sleep without you - Hi! can I request something where Chris and the reader had an argument and Chris goes to sleep in the couch, but in the middle of the night, the reader go to sleep with him there? Thanks! ~ slightly Angst, Fluff

Make up - Just after that quick one about fighting and sleeping separately could you do a quick imagine on the make up sex pls :)) ty ~ smut, Fluff

Tough guy -Can I ask for an imagine about the reader fighting with her husband Chris, about his family and the fight ending in rough sex? ❤ ~ kinda dark, smut

Giraffe slippers - Chris can’t get over your son’s giraffe slippers ~ Fluff

Switzerland - Summary: you, Chris and your son go on vacation to beautiful Switzerland ~ Fluff

Velvet - I found these prompts. They’re perfect ~ Fluff, implied smut

I’m scared, but I love you - Can u make where on how will cevans admit to a girl that he likes (or falling for) her and the girl is scared bc of the risk of dating him (privacy, fame, hate) and chris tells her he’s scared too but he’s willing to take a risk bc he can’t afford to see u w/ anyone else ~ Fluff

Interviewer - Summary: your a black interviewer and Chris couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. - smut, Fluff

Red dress - Request: After the oscars or whatever awards with Chris Evans, reader wearing a really sexy dress and even sexier lingerie ~ Fluff, implied smut

Softy -Request: Imagine Chris when he has a baby 🥺 I can honestly imagine how in love he’s gonna be in the delivery room getting handed his child. That man seriously makes my heart melt ~ Fluff

Who are you? - Request: can i request an image where chris comes back from filming and has a beautiful beard, but his baby daughter didn’t recognize him ~ Fluff

Empty theater - Request: you and chris go to the theaters and find out you two are the only one in the showing. You’re pretty invested into the movie and Chris is just horny 3000. He’s tryna fool around and you disregard him until he grabs your hand and puts it on his crotch and says in that insanely attractive Boston accent, “feel how hah’d you got me??” shweaty🤤 ~ smut

What moving in with Chris is like ~ Fluff

Long hair lover - Request: Can you write an imagine where Chris came back from filming red sea diving resort and his baby daughter is crazy in love with his long hair? ~ Fluff

Mean girl - Request: Hi, can you write one where the reader runs into a mean girl from school at supermarket and the girl start to brag for just saw Chris Evans. She doesn’t know that the reader is his wife, so the the mean girl has a little surprise when Chris find his wife at the line or something. ~ Fluff, slightly angst

Episode - Request: Hey are you taking request? I’m dark skinned chocolate and I’d love for Chris to comfort reader during a depressive episode. She’s the life of the party and she’s a new actress, not popular but she met Chris through mutual friends and he’s realized she’s been isolating herself lately, so he stops by her apt. to check in on her. She feels like she’s losing her mind. You can add smut. 😉 reader usually feels better after an episode buts its a serious battle and having support helps tremendously.😊 ~ Fluff, smut

Romantic day - Request: So Chris was asked in an interview if he ever had anyone do anything romantic for him and he had a hard time remembering. Can you write a fic where his girlfriend does something romantic for him? Like on a tooth rotting level of fluff. ~ fluff

Piglet - your daughter dress up as piglet from Winnie the Pooh ~ fluff

Bathroom and mirror - Request: Hey, I was wondering if I could request being at a party with Chris and he goes to the bathroom and you follow only for him to lift you on to the sink and eat your 🐱 then bend you over and fuck you hard watching you in the mirror ~ smut

Pink ribbon - Request: Okay but like I had this imagine in my head, like Chris is recording a video of his babygirl which is two months and he’s recording a video to help people with wants happening in the world to make then smile and then you hear a “grrr” and he’s like yes my daughter did learn how to growl before speaking thanks to dodger ! And he’s like so in love with the cutest bean to ever live ! And wife!reader be like watching this as she growls,dodger being proud! -🥺💕 ~ Fluff

Migraine - Request: Take as much time as you need 😜. I was about reader working at home on quarantine and she has this migraine so Chris takes care of her?? Could be a drabble, hc, blurb, whatever you wanna make of it ~ Fluff

Childhood bedroom - Request: Reader and Chris having sex in Chris’s childhood room when they visit his parents for a holiday (whichever you want) and Scott walking in on them ~ smut

Boomerang - Request: Can I request Chris Evans x Reader age gap where its her 10 high school reunion and back in high school she was over weight and was teased for it. Now she isnt and is engaged to Chris, but at the reunion she gets told by like an ex boyfriend an ex friend that Chris will leave her if she gets her weight back. Chris over hears this and is upset by it. Also could they make a remark like she is gaining weight again but she is pregnant like three months with a tiny bump (Maybe smut) Thank you ~ Angst, smut

Period - Request: can you do one abt chris when his girl is on her period ~ Fluff

4am car ride - Summary: at 4 in the morning Chris wakes you up to go on a car ride ~ Fluff

No Oscars - Request: Concept: reader consoling chris after he comes back from the oscars without any wins ~ Angst, fluff

Morning with the Evans - Summary: morning with 6 kiddos, 4 going to school. ~ Fluff

Wanna help? - Request: Hi there! What about Chris is in his bed reading a book as his wife were doing her routine of moisturizing her body and he start staring at her and she asks if he want to do the job for her. ~ smut

Mommy isn’t hot she’s warm

Message therapist - Request: I’m a massage therapist. I would love to see a wondering with CE and a therapist. She gets a one in a lifetime opportunity to massage the one and only, he sees her small stature and does not think she’ll be able to help him, but he is pleasantly surprised. He takes one look at her, and get simplicity and naturalness intrigues and consumes him. He’s on a mission to make her his, she’s wary. She’s wary because of her past and of what his intentions are. And doesn’t trust him right away. @creae7881 ~ Fluff

America’s ass - Summary: you make Chris celebrate that ass on its birthday `~ Fluff

Mechanic - Request: Hi! Wondering if you could make a story where Chris falls for a girl that’s a mechanic. I’ve been looking to pictures of the car Downey gifted him. She can be the one who built it. Thanks ~ @arabescapr ~ Fluff

Angry at you - Summary: Chris has to do some work and his daughter wants to play, but he can’t. She doesn’t like that. ~ Fluff

Virgin till married - Request: Hey! I really love your five and am a huge fan of your writing! Is there a way you could write a Chris fanfic in which the reader is a virgin and wants to save herself for marriage and it’s their honeymoon and she is gonna have sex for the first time with husband Chris.😙❤ It can be fluff and smut. Thank you! ~ smut

Secretly - Request: I have a request for Chris. Where the reader is a beautiful black plus-size woman and she and Chris are secretly dating, and one day they are spotted out and Chris panics and he has an interview and the interviewer asked him “who’s this girl u were spotted with” and Chris says I don’t know he personally she’s just a fan, and the reader watches the interview and gets heartbroken so she blocks him and changing a the locks to her house, and Chris finds out that she watched the interview. For the plus size request for Chris. I have to send another ask for same request because I didn’t have enough room to finish, but the reader starts avoiding and ignoring Chris, and Chris tries to get the reader to talk to him by showing up at her work, or bringing her flowers or her favorite food but she declines until one day she gets home and he’s on her doorstep and she starts walking by him ignoring him and he asks her just to talk to him please. Can there be a happy ending. ~ @briannab1234 ~ Angst, Fluff

After the show - Request: I’m sort of obsessed with the idea an anon sent in about the reader being a singer and her performing on stage and then him getting her home! I don’t know if you’re doing that already but if not can I request it for Chris Evans pleaseee ~ smut

Midnight return ~ Fluff, dad! Chris

You+me=perfect - Request: Hi! Just discovered your blog a few weeks ago and fell in love with your writing. I know requests are closed, but when you have time, could you do one where Chris and Reader (age gap) like each other and they know and everybody knows but when Reader makes a move he rejects her because since he wants a family he thinks reader is not ready for that. Please happy ending, 2020 is already too stressful :)~ Angst, Fluff

Your producing ice? - Request:Writing idea? Yk that game that Chris played with Jimmy Fallon where they poured the ice water down each other’s pants. Yeah yeah yeah. Just imagine going to give Chris a bj in the dressing room or something and there’s ice In his pants -🥺 but confused ~ smut, Fluff

Wine and sunset - Summary: you and Chris have been together for 3 years and now you got married to him. You both are on your honeymoon. He can’t help but keep his hands off of you. ~ smut, Fluff

No kissing ~ fluff,dad! Chris

At last I see the light - Request: Hi, can you please write Chris Evans x reader when he’s on the Graham Show and the other guest is a singer he have a crush on, she perform a song she recorded for the ‘We Love Disney’s album and he’s just in admiration please? ~ Fluff

Another princess?! - Summary: your pregnant and you and Chris finally figure out the gender of your baby. ~ Fluff

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #submission #Chris Evans imagines #Chris Evans x female reader #chris evans x plus size reader #chris Evans smut #dad!chris evans #Chris Evans x ofc

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mythiccheroacademia · 4 years

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Forgive Me

Summary: It only seemed more prevalent, now more than ever, that people like him didn’t deserve people like you.

Word Count: 4.8k+ Words

Pairing: Natsuo x Reader (21+)

Warnings: blood, death, gang organization involvement, gun use, sexual content, explicit language, and angst

A/N: First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MAIN MAN NATSUO TODOROKI!! And I also want to say thank y’all so much for 2k followers! You make my heart ache. To celebrate, I wrote this self-indulgent mafia au fanfic that nobody asked for. I honestly just wanted to write Todorokis involved in organized crime.

All the Japanese in here is from Google Translate. It most likely butchered it, so I’m sorry about that. I tried.

Some things to mention: *Yakuza: Basically, the Japanese mafia *Oyabun: The leader of the organization *Onna-Oyabun: The spouse of the leader. It really translates to the “wife.” I tried to keep things gender neutral, however, I couldn’t find a gender neutral term for this. Please forgive me!

Thank you for ridin with me, y’all! Enjoy this one, hotties ❤️

Forgive Me

All Natsuo had ever wanted for you was normalcy. Call it wishful thinking—his siblings called it naivety. However, there was nothing more the young successor wished for than for you to have the life you deserved. One filled with love, laughter, and smiles. Not tears, blood, and bullets.

He wanted you to be able to come from work or class with a head full of things for the two of you to gossip about over dinner and ice cream. He wanted to be able to cancel his day and take you to that one amusement park you always talked about. He wanted the petty arguments about whose turn it was to do the dishes and whose brownie recipe was better.

Natsuo wanted that for you. Not this.

Your shared room suddenly felt cold and rigid as he stood by the doorway. The sight of your body curled into the sheets, hoping the mattress would swallow you up, made his heart ache. There was no movement except for the slow rise of your breathing as you stared at the wall next to the bed.

Natsuo’s grey eyes focused on the bandage patched to your ear and was brought back to the events prior. An event that had been the reason why he couldn’t have spent the evening in your arms.

[Earlier]

Since having been introduced into the Todoroki lifestyle, life had been hectic. You had been ripped away from your normalcy and propelled into the yakuza* game. It was seeped in cruelty, darkness, and evil that would make you spend nights shivering.

Ever since you had been engaged to Natsuo, your exposure only grew worse. Your fiancé would spend nights apologizing, but you’d only quiet him with a kiss and a small joke.

It wasn’t his fault. His older brother, Touya, was “deceased”. It was against tradition for Fuyumi to have it, and Shouto was too young. He would have to be the next Oyabun* and, despite his unwillingness, there was nothing anyone could do about it.

But that wasn’t something to dwell on. Especially today. Today, you had plans to go shopping with Fuyumi and Shouto and end the night with some well-deserved quality time with your husband-to-be. You had rarely seen anyone due to yakuza activity, so this was something you were looking forward to.

You smoothed down your outfit, adjusting your watch in the mirror. You gave yourself a nod, liking what you saw.

Natsuo came from around the corner, eyeing you with a glint you knew all too well. He apparently liked what he saw too.

“Hi,” he said, smiling into your kiss.

“Hey,” you grinned. You flattened the collar of his shirt where his tattoo peeked from his neck. “You look good.”

He was quick to respond. “You look better.”

“You flatter me,” you chuckled. “Did you pick where we’re eating for dinner later?”

“I made reservations for the seafood restaurant you like so much. The one with the lights by the ocean.”

“Oooo with the parmesan crusted flounder and the stuffed oysters?”

He hummed a yes and laughed as you did a little dance expressing your excitement. You couldn’t wait to stuff your face. While being classy of course.

“What time?”

“6:30. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that should give ‘Yumi, ShoSho, and I enough time to shop around.” You turned to the mirror to put some last-minute touches to your hair. “We still have to find an outfit for your mother’s event Friday. You know your brother’s a lowkey diva about that stuff so it’s gonna take hours.”

A sudden slap on your ass made you yelp and just as you were about to cuss him out, Natsuo captured your lips in a kiss that made your knees buckle. He slowly explored your mouth, committing every taste to memory. Your hands massaged the nape of his neck and it had him growling in your ear.

“Why don’t you skip the shopping today and we can start on dinner now?” he suggested, loving the moan he got from you as he sucked on your neck.

As much as you adored the offer, you weren’t going to pass up the chance to get out of the house. You’d been cooped up in there for too long. Not even his dick could get you out of this.

You pushed him off of you, laughing as he bit the air between you, trying to put his lips back on you.

“Nat—Natsuo. Stop it. I promised them I’d go shopping today, so no. Besides, I’m already running late. I was supposed to meet them at 1 and it’s 1:30.”

“But you just look so good, baby.” He managed to pull you flush against his chest, mischief in his eyes. You gave him a look when his hands went to go grab a handful of your ass. “I’m sure they won’t mind if you're just an hour more late,” he said, going back to lay claim to your lips.

If last night’s sex was a testament to anything, you’d be here for much longer than an hour. If you didn’t get your ass to the car, you’d be stuck at home and his siblings would have your head.

“Boy, if you don’t get off me, I’ll tell Fuyumi you’re keeping me hostage again. She’ll sick Shouto on you,” you threatened.

At the thought of his sister and brother’s nagging, he rolled his eyes and backed off. “Ugh, you’re such a killjoy. Fine, whatever.” You hummed in triumph and turned to walk away. Natsuo gave another hard slap to your backside again and you sent him back a glare that made him smirk.

“Natsu,” you warned.

“You better get in the car quick before I really decide to keep you here.”

“Keep it in your pants, horndog,” you bit.

“Keep that ass away and we won’t have problems,” he playfully retorted.

You smacked your teeth but hid the growing smile on your lips. That man would be the death of you.

…

Despite your wishes, you ended up being an hour late. Natsuo tried to play innocent underneath his siblings’ threats but stopped the act once they pointed out the growing hickey on your neck.

He was waved off, much to his chagrin, when he told the three of you to be wary of your surroundings and reminded you of the security guards that would be following close by. He finally left for his meeting with few choice words and a kiss promising his return.

Fuyumi grabbed your arm and gave you a smile that was contagious. “Now that Natsu stopped hogging you, we can finally hang out!” she cheered. “The outlet just opened up a few new stores we’ve been eyeing for a while now!”

Shouto nodded in agreement. “I’ve been waiting all week to use my father’s credit card.”

“Didn’t you buy a fur coat yesterday—”

“That’s besides the point.”

Once Shouto took your other arm, the three of you spent your time going from store to store. At first, the objective was to find outfits for the party Friday, however you three had become easily distracted with the sight of a smoothie stand.

A couple hours had gone by, and not much was done. Although you might have wasted time (and money) shopping at miscellaneous stores, neither one of you cared.

It had been so long since you laughed so freely. With Endeavor across the ocean, things were steadily heating up. Enemies took his leave as an open shot and the Todoroki siblings were obliged to reinforce why their family reigned supreme. Due to that, it seemed no one could go a day without stressing over something.

Between that and Natsuo’s near-obsessive mission to keep you safe and away from the details of the yakuza, you were forced to stay in the house twiddling your thumbs with constant security around you.

Feeling so useless drove you crazy. No matter how many times you tried to get your fiancé to let you help, he would always give you a firm no. Fuyumi and Shouto tried their best to keep you out of it as well. Even Dabi warned you about wanting something so dangerous.

It was frustrating, but you tried to understand. Regardless, having the chance to hang out with your friends like old times was a saving grace and you’d enjoy it to its fullest.

Eventually, you three made it to the boutiques and clothing departments. Shouto had already gotten a suit tailored so it was left with you and Fuyumi.

Your soon-to-be sister-in-law found an extravagant gown that stole your breath. The crimson dress hugged her body in all the right places, accentuating the softness of her feminine figure and the coolness of her kind eyes. It was beautifully bold statement speaking to the fire within Fuyumi many seemed to miss. But no one would overlook that spirit with a dress like that. Her measurements were taken, and the dress was quickly swiped off the rack and sent to the tailor.

Your clothing didn’t come easy. Fuyumi was indecisive and Shouto was a harsh critic.

“Hmm, that one’s too much.”

“Nope, not enough.”

“Too loose.”

“Too tight.”

“No.”

“Hell no.”

“I’m pretty sure someone from the Nanu family wore that in 2016. Next.”

It had taken nearly an entire hour before the three of you found your outfit. Something that had caught your eye was soon being shimmied over your body. When you stepped out of the dressing room, you were relieved when Fuyumi nearly cried and Shouto’s bi-colored eyes twinkled with satisfaction. The material was comfortable on your body and the pigment made your skin color brilliantly glow. It moved and swayed like it was meant for you. It just felt right.

“That’s the one,” Shouto smiled.

“You think so?” you asked, checking over the detailing.

“You’re going to steal the show, as always, Y/N,” Fuyumi gushed. “The most beautiful Onna-Oyabun* the yakuza have seen this generation.”

At the mention of the word, you casted your eyes downward. “Right. I’m going to be the new Onna-Oyabun,” you sighed.

The two Todorokis caught the heaviness of your tone and looked at one another in sadness. They were privy to the burdens of this family and the titles that came along with it. Your reaction wasn’t abnormal, but the despondent gleam in your eyes was still hard to sit with.

“Y/N—”

The sound of Shouto’s phone cut off his words. As he listened to the quiet words from the other line, his eyes began to harden. The store clerk kept you busy, but Fuyumi noticed his sudden rigidness.

Her brother’s eyes flicked towards the door and she caught the sight of more their bodyguards surrounding the boutique, hands on their weapons.

There were a few more words said before Shouto spoke.

“Anata wa mōru o torikakonde imasu. Natsuo wa 5-bu de soto de aimasu.” (Keep the mall surrounded. Natsuo will meet us outside in five minutes.)

Fuyumi met her brother’s eyes once more and understood the situation.

“So, the seamstress said she’ll tighten around the waist and add more fabric to the end. It’ll be ready by tomorrow evening,” you said to them.

Shouto excused himself while Fuyumi walked towards you, a practiced smile on her lips.

“Perfect. Now let’s get you changed and out for your date. Natsuo will be here any minute.”

…

The car ride to the restaurant was filled with your rambling about the day and Natsuo’s usual teasing. When he got into the car after speaking with his siblings, he seemed very tense. So you were happy you were able to get him to relax. Work must’ve put him on edge, and you were determined to let the rest of your night come stress free.

When you got there, he helped you out of the car and you made your way to the door. You were surprised to see who was standing by the entrance.

“Dabi?”

“Hey there, doll,” he said behind an easy smirk. He kissed the back of your hand. “Still see you’re with this punk. Tragic.”

You tried to hide your giggle as Natsuo punched his brother’s shoulder.

“Back off, brick-face. Lookin’ like a burnt raisin.”

“You wound me,” Dabi faux gasped.

“What are you doing here?” you asked.

Although Dabi kept his eyes on you, he felt his brother’s stare on his face.

“Just doing some patrol. Heard you were coming around and couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say hi to my new favorite Todoroki,” he responded coolly.

You quirked your brow at that. “Did something happen?”

Dabi opened the door. “Nah, nothing you need to worry about. You just enjoy your dinner for me, yeah?”

Before you could say anything more, you felt the man behind you place his hand on your lower back and guide you into the restaurant. You didn’t miss the order he hissed to his brother before closing the door behind him.

You had to learn Japanese one of these days, damn it.

As you stood in line to be seated, you eyed your fiancé.

“I know something’s going on,” you spoke.

Natsuo didn’t even flinch. “What do you mean?”

“Why’s Dabi here?”

“You heard what he said. For patrol.”

“Patrol for what? He doesn’t just police the area for no reason.”

“It was just on some small case we’ve been working on. No biggie,” he shrugged.

You frowned at his play of innocence. You were getting kind of tired of this. “You know how much I hate being kept in the dark…”

“It’s nothing you have to concern yourself with, babe. I’ve got it handled.”

“Natsuo—”

“Y/N, please.”

You watched his shoulders sag a bit from the heavy sigh that left his mouth. If you hadn’t been watching, you would’ve missed the fatigue that flashed across his face. To see someone usually so upbeat look so tired made your chest ache.

You knew you were being pushy, but all the secrets were piling up and your curiosity was starting to become insatiable.

“I…I just want to help,” you softly admitted. “I don’t mean to be annoying.”

“You’re not being annoying,” he answered in a heartbeat. Natsuo pulled you close and kissed your temple, feeling comforted by your smell. “I know all these secrets drive you crazy, but I’m trying to protect you.”

You placed a hand on his cheek to which he placed a kiss to your palm. “And I want to lessen your burden. We’re in this together, baby. You don’t have to handle all of this alone anymore.”

“I know, sweetheart,” he whispered. He stared into your eyes for a moment before gently smiling down at your hopeful gaze. “How ‘bout this? We forget about all this yakuza stuff whiles we’re here, and as soon as we get home, I’ll fill you in on my meeting today. Sound fair?”

It wasn’t exactly what you wanted, but it was a step in the right direction. Besides, you could see how eager he was to forget about the topic. The focus of this night was about having fun, so you would drop it for now.

You pecked his lips and nodded in agreement. “Deal.”

“Bet.”

The hostess met you two just as you pulled away from one another. She led you to your table where you had a clear view of the beach behind the crystal glass. Your waitress, an older woman with a smile that felt safe, got you settled in.

“My name is Jane and I’ll be serving you today. May I get your drinks?”

Natsuo looked to you. “Wine?”

You made a thoughtful face. “Yeah. Sure. Something on the sweeter side.”

“Bring us Moet Chandon Dom Perignon. 2008.”

“Yes, sir,” she bowed before going to retrieve the drinks.

You frowned in confusion, the bran unknown to you. That was before your eyes scanned over the wine listing. You choked on your spit.

That bottle could pay rent.

Rich people were crazy.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Something in my throat,” you coughed.

After the waitress brought your drinks and you placed your orders (you both ordered enough for eight but what’s new?), you and Natsuo spent your time talking and laughing.

It was like old times. He was the jokester, throwing out horrible pick-up lines with a terrible pun to match. You’d tease him, snickering when he’d whine about how sensitive he was.

You missed this. A lot.

Your previous grievances left your mind. Like he said, for now, you’d forget about the yakuza. The carefree smile on your fiancé’s face, the one that reminded of you of just how young he really was, was beautiful. He was only 23 and dealing with so much. You wanted this expression of freedom to remain for as long as possible.

“The ‘Saw’ series wasn’t even that scary. It was just really gross,” you said.

“Fair. But the one with the teeth was kinda scary. Saw 3 I think? I couldn’t sleep for like, five days,” Natsuo shivered.

“Okay, yeah. That one was…ew,” you agreed. “But remember ‘The Human Centipede’? Now that was some creepy shit. I couldn’t eat cereal for a month.”

Natsuo visibly paled, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “Nah for real, bro. I’ll never watch that shit again. I feel like it was some big, grotesque, sexual innuendo.”

You gave him a flat look.

“What the fuck, Natsu.”

“No, listen! Remember the part where they took the hammer and—"

“Your food, Mr. Todoroki and Mr/s. L/N,” Jane interrupted. A questioning look flashed across her face but you two just stifled your laughs.

The other waiters laughed as they stood behind her with the food in their hands.

You were eyeing the hell out of those oysters.

“Here we have the lobster bisque, the shrimp tacos, the stuffed oysters—”

“I’ll take that one, please!” you excitedly clapped.

“Excellent choice.”

“And you say I’m a child,” Natsuo snorted.

You threw a glare his way. “Little boy, if you don’t—”

And just as your day had been filled with laughter, the sound of one bullet tore through that illusion.

It was as if the world had stilled for a moment. Then, there was screaming and the onslaught of gunpower. There were so many men in dignified suits running in and out of the restaurant. You hadn’t even blinked before two waiters dropped to the ground, piled beneath the food they were holding.

Two shots rang near your table, and you felt a string of fresh blood paint the sides of your face and a burning sensation on your left ear. Two hands held the table and the back of your chair, body a shield from the bullets.

You slowly looked up and saw Jane’s bright blue eyes wide with surprise. There was a moment of silence as her bottom lip wavered, wanting to say something.

However, her last breath slipped through her lips as you watched the life dull in her cerulean irises.

That bullet was meant for you. That bullet was meant to kill you and instead…instead…

When she fell onto you, dead, that’s when you screamed.

At some point, Natsuo had gotten you into his arms. His body was ice cold as he used his quirk to protect you and carry you out. He was shouting orders and curses while trying to coax you out of your numbness. However, you couldn’t hear anything.

The stench of blood was strong. You saw how the bodies of innocent men, women, and children laid piled on the floor. They bled out; their lives taken from them before they even had the chance to think about it.

You closed your eyes when you saw blue and red flames lick the ground. You had seen enough.

Somehow, you had gotten outside and away from the warzone. Natsuo carried you into the car.

“Doraibu!” he thundered. (Drive!)

The driver took off with speed that made our backs hit the seats. Once he hit the main streets, miles away from the scene, Natsuo took his hand off the gun and quelled his quirk.

His phone lit up and it wasn’t long before he blew up at whoever was on the other end. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him use a tone so mean and angry. He roared into the phone, his words foreign to your ears. However, you couldn’t concentrate on that.

The shock of what just occurred struck your body numb. The ringing in your ears hadn’t stopped since the first bullet. You could still smell the blood and the bodies. Jane’s lifeless eyes would haunt you forever.

The same bullet that tore into her heart was meant for you. Whoever shot that, was aiming to kill. Kill you. But instead, Jane had taken that place. For what reason, you didn’t know. But she did.

You didn’t know which one was worse.

Bile rose in the back of your throat and you let out a shaky breath.

You could do nothing else but hold your head.

Natsuo had gotten off the phone and looked over at you in silence. His grey eyes stormed with pain from the way your shoulders hunched over in grief.

He reached for you. “Y/N, sweetheart—”

You flinched away as his fingertips ghosted your skin.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” you seethed.

He quickly withdrew his hands.

“Are…are you okay?” he slowly spoke.

The glare you gave him made him avert his eyes in anguish.

“Am I okay? You’re asking me if I’m okay!?”

“I just want to make sure you’re not hurt,” he thickly swallowed.

“Are you serious, Natsuo!? I just saw twenty people die in front of me and you’re asking if I’m okay!??”

Guilt drowned him, but you just couldn’t seem to care at the moment as rage took over your body.

“I asked you to tell me what was going on. I’ve been fucking begging you to keep me up to date so I can just be prepared for when things like this happen!”

“I know.”

“If I had just known someone was trying to take me out, I would’ve stayed the fuck home, but you wouldn’t tell me and now there’s people DEAD!!”

“I know. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Fuck your sorry!” you roared. “Fuck you, Natsuo! Sorry won’t bring those people back!”

Your voice was beginning to grow hoarse but screaming felt good. It was the only thing that felt real even as it took you to hysteria.

“I know those bullets were meant for me! They wanted to—to—oh my God!” Your breathig grew erratic as it all dawned on you. “I’m supposed to be dead! They wanted to kill me! I can’t! I can’t do this!”

Natsuo felt his heart break with every sob that ripped from your mouth. He wanted so badly to hold you and take you away from all of this. However, he knew better.

For the entire car ride and throughout the time it took for the nurses to patch you up, you hadn’t allowed him to touch you. You even ignored him until he was forced to leave you to rest.

When he told you he loved you, it hurt like hell to see you wordlessly disappear behind the bedroom door. That pain was what later fueled him back to the scene of the crime and into doing things to the captured enemies he would never utter to anyone that wasn’t there.

Fuyumi and Shouto couldn’t look him in his eyes for the rest of the day. It was Dabi, as heartless as he was, that told him it was enough.

He would give anything to give you what you deserved, a life without pain and death. But that’s not how it worked. Not in this life.

He knew that, yet, he had been selfish and took you for himself. Now, this was the result. Your life in unremitting danger because of who he was.

The agonized screams of dry ice burning away flesh constantly played in his head. It only seemed more prevalent, now more than ever, that people like him didn’t deserve people like you.

[Present]

Natsuo’s heavy stare caused you to shift. As he changed into pajamas, you looked at the clock. It was 2am.

You hadn’t realized it was so late.

You felt a heavy dip in the bed and watched your fiancé carefully settle into the sheets. His face was clean of blood and dirt, so he must've showered before coming back home.

A pregnant pause filtered between you two. As you continued to stare at one another, you could see his façade slip with each passing second. The blank front he was so skilled at putting up melted as his eyes continued to pass over the bandages. His eyes sunk and the skin around them was dark with wear. He looked exhausted.

The anger that had once bristled inside of you had given way to melancholy a long time ago. You felt so empty and lonely with the dark thoughts that circled in your head. Sleep wasn’t an option if you wanted to avoid the nightmares that would plague you.

The two of you scooted closer to one another. Natsuo was the first to speak. He spoke in a voice so small, you almost missed it.

“Can I touch you?”

“Please,” you whispered.

Soon enough, you were in his arms, chin on his shoulder as he peppered the junction between your neck and collarbone with kisses. You relished in his hands exploring your body, missing how he just seemed to swallow you up.

“I love you, Y/N,” he breathed.

“I love you too, Natsuo.”

Much of the night was spent reminding yourselves of the other’s touch. Natsuo drew your lips captive, his tongue overtaking you with dizzying pleasure. You couldn’t keep track of where his mouth was. Whether it was on your lips, on your stomach, or in between your legs, you savored how good it felt.

Soon, his low growls and moans were hot against your ears. Your nails ran down Natsuo’s back as his hips swam into you, taking his time to rememorize how you felt around him. The bed creaked along with your moans. You threw your head back and gripped whatever you could hold of him during your lovemaking.

It seemed you’d reach your high over and over again. You could never get enough of each other. There was something intoxicating about how his tongue would roll over yours as he pounded into you, staking claim over your body as he gave himself to you until he couldn’t.

When your bodies couldn’t go any longer, you just lied underneath the sheets. Natsuo lied on top of you, head on your chest and listened to your heartbeat. You pushed back his sweaty bangs, staring down at him.

You hadn’t even realized you were crying until his thumbs went to swipe past your cheeks.

“Damn it,” you hiccupped.

Natsuo let his vulnerability slip. “I know they’re just words, but I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he said. His voice cracked and it was your turn to catch the tears that fell from his eyes.

“I know. I’m sorry too.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“No, I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I was just…”

“Just what?”

A fresh wave of images from today filled the forefront of your mind. Those pictures did something to you. A switch was flicked.

Your voice caught in your throat and your eyes pinched as more tears filled them. However, these were not tears of fright, rather tears of animosity. The anger you thought had left you had turned into something worse. Something much darker.

Natsuo saw that look many times before in his own reflection. Vengeance. Pure, unadulterated, vengeance. And as much as he hated it, it was the gas that incited his own flame.

“Natsuo,” you spoke like you were about to tell a secret. You slowly swallowed the ball in your throat.

“What is it, baby? Tell me what it is you want.”

The words that left your mouth felt different, but you would never regret them.

“Whoever it was, whoever was behind this, I want them gone,” you instructed, voice stone cold. “For every child lost, I want ten of their heads. For all our men they took, I want their bodies burned. For the life they took from Jane, I want their blood on the street. Today, they took their stance when they tried to kill me.”

You held his face and fell into his gaze with hard eyes. In those grey irises, you saw a man that would stand against an army for you. It gave you the courage to say your order.

“And for that, I want the entire yakuza dead.”

The glint in his eye matched your own and you knew there was no turning back. Natsuo nodded without a second thought. There was nothing to think about. He’d give you the entire world or burn it down at the flick of your hand.

“Yes, my Onna-Oyabun. Your wish is my command.”

He sealed the deal with a kiss.

“This is war.”

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unmaskedagain · 4 years

Text

Best Birthday Wishes

Quick one shot. I rushed through at work. Nothing special. But I thought this was a decent idea.

It took less than a year for Lila to make due on her promise to turn the class against her. Most of her former friends would go out of their way to avoid her. Some took the cowards way out and just did nothing; Adrien and Rose. A few went out of their way to bully Marinette in a misguided idea of revenge; mostly Alix, Kim and Alya. The ice-out got even worse when Marinette resigned from being class president and no one (Lila) could managed to manage to do the job as successfully as she did. School field trips were with really bad or just cancelled altogether. School dances sucked. Fundraisers always fell short. No one would speak to Marinette because, as Alya said, if she just stopped being such a brat none of this would’ve happened.

Marinette shrugged it all off. She had decided if they could buy into Lila’s lies and turn against her so easily, they weren’t worth her time or effort. She made friends in other classes Aurore, Ondine, Claude and Marc quickly became her best friends. Once she did this, and the rest of the school saw she was out of the clutches of her class, the drama club quickly approached her and commissioned her for work for the school play. They were right to do so, as Marinette gave them a great deal, mostly because someone offered to pay her instead of just expecting her to do it. The art club practically got on their knees begging for help with funding their field trip. Comic Book club did the same but Marinette did one better and got them a tour of Marvel studios.

The funniest request was from the home economics class and cooking/baking club who just wanted a tour of her parents’ bakery. And maybe an internship or two, pretty please. Her mom and dad had been stunned when she asked. However, they were more than happy to lend a hand, and an internship, to the next generation of baker’s.

The best part was that no one expected her or left her to do the all work herself. The other students, her new friends, made sure that it was clear they were on a team. And if they asked her to make them something, they expected to have to pay for it. This allowed Marinette to have a lot more free time then she thought she’d get.

So much so that Marinette decided to create a website for custom designs by MDC. Once she spread the words about that, Jagged and Clara requested commission, naming her as the designer. This sparked a slew of celebrities reaching out for their own MDC design; from futball players, a few tv stars, singers, directors, a b-list movie star, were among them. Marinette got to meet them to do the designs.

Word quickly spread about the lovely young designer who didn’t bat an eye when she met them, and provided better quality then they could ever dream of. That brought in other celebrities. Celebrities who, when they publicists called Marinette, she fainted. She swore her heart stopped.

When one celebrity asked for a environmental fabric, Marinette was quick to show ones she had already created. It was a synthetic fabric that she created with the help from a local engineer and scientist who’s wedding dress she designed. It was cheap and easily replicated. The material was a hit; gaining the attention of Prince Ali who was always looking for new go-green projects to fund.

Marinette learned quickly just how tight-knit her class seemed to be. So close, other students don’t even try befriending them, after seeing many others fail. It was like there was a wall around Bustier’s class and no one could get in. And those inside never even bothered to really look outside it. It was suffocating to think about.

Marinette ended up joining the fashion club, gamers’ club, and got on the student council. Her popularity at school rose dramatically. Though, her classmates never realized.

When Marinette’s birthday rolled around, her classmates snickered when they realized that no one would be planning her birthday party. Alya guessed she spend the day with her parents but otherwise alone like she deserved. Alix vocally hoped even her parents forgot what day it was. Kim nodded along because Marinette was mean to Lila, and Lila was… Everything. A few were sad that Marinette would have such a bad birthday.

Bustier’s class were surprised when they received a text invitation to Marinette’s birthday party. Lila gets an idea and of course gets someone else to instigate it; Alya.

When Marinette arrives to class, Alya is quick to tell her that they can’t come to her birthday because they already have plans. She makes sure to add that Marinette wasn’t invited.

Marinette just shrugged, and said, “Okay, just trying to be nice.”

“Little late for that,” Alix snapped.

The class expects Marinette to announce that she cancelled her party but the news never comes. On the day of her birthday, they all threw a picnic to celebrate their new “Everyday Ladybug” Lila.

It wasn’t until Monday, did they learned just how bad of a decision that was. The moment they walked into school, it was clear that something was amiss.

“Jagged Stone was there!” A student said excitedly as she showed off the pictures of her phone. Alya tried to sneak a peek but couldn’t get close enough.

“I saw Chrissy Teigan.”

“Clara Nightingale,” Another said as Nino walked by. “I nearly died.”

A group of girls were giggling with each other. “Stranger things,” One hissed with a red face. “I got pictures with Finn from Stranger things.”

“Screw Stranger Things,” A girl taunted. “I got pics with the Stark sisters.”

“They have real names,” A girl tried to correct.

“Who cares?”

Nathanial overheard Marc saying something about a party, “Jagged Stone dedicated a song to her. And Clara brought her up on stage.” He wanted to ask his old comic book partner what he was talking about but after Lila convinced him to go solo, Nathanial couldn’t bring himself to.

Rose heard, “Prince Ali was there. They danced together. It was so sweet,” While walking through a crowded hall. And nearly had a fit trying to figure out who said it.

“Jonas brothers!”

“Gigi Hadid!”

“Selena Gomez!”

“Tony Stark!”

And the name drops went on and on until the entire class thought they were going crazy. Particularly Lila who was used to being the only ones dropping names.

When the warning bell rung, Sabrina, surprising was the first to ask the question on everyone’s mind, “Does anyone know what’s going on?”

Heads shook no. Alya stood up frustrated, on her phone, “No. But I’m going to find out.” Within seconds the determined expression on her face, shifted to surprise, then disbelief, then shocked. And when she looked up, the stunned look was still on her face. “Marinette’s party,” She said slowly as if she couldn’t believe what she was saying. “Everyone’s talking about her party.”

“No way,” Alix sneered as she pulled out her own phone. Others followed suit. Lila had her phone out before anyone could blinked.

Jaws dropped. Marinette’s birthday was a tag trended of Twitter, Instagram and nearly every social media site. Celebrities who couldn’t make it gave their best wishes to the young designer.

The pictures were everywhere. Marinette with one celebrity after another. Even Ladybug (Master Fu letting Trixx, Tikki, and the other Kwami giving their regards) wished her a happy birthday.)

They quickly recognized the faces of other students they knew at the party, some pictured with a celebrity or two, themselves.

“Luka was there,” Juleka whispered.

Mylene frowned, “He performed without us. Without kitty section.”

“Prince Ali,” Rose whispered. “Marinette danced with Prince Ali.”

Lila quietly seethed. How could this happen, she wondered. How come she never knew Marinette knew all those celebrities. The worst picture of them all didn’t even include a celebrity just the mountain of presents she got.

Adrien was supposed to be my way in, Lila thought with a frown.

Alya gasped, “You were there!” She hissed at Chloe. “You don’t even like her.”

“But I was invited,” Chloe smirked, “Of course I was. Dupain-Cheng throws the best parties.” She stated. “Like I’d be stupid enough to miss it. Even Mama went. But that was mostly because Miranda Priesley announced she was going. As did Wilhelmina Slater. It seems anyone and everyone in fashion wanted eyes of Marinette Dupain-Cheng, MDC, the up and coming designer for the stars. Including Gabriel Agreste,” She added with smug look.

This caused Adrien to frown. He didn’t know his father had been invited. Or that he’d actually gone. Why didn’t Marinette tell him?

The bell rang just as the bluenette in question walked into class. Only to once again see all eyes on her. She ignored them and went to her seat in the back. Marinette had a great weekend, and so was going to let anyone ruin her good vibe.

“So… Marinette,” Lila purred, in a way that reminded Marinette of the way she said Adrien’s name. “How was your birthday?”

Marinette eyed her suspiciously, “Good. More people than I thought came.” That was an under-exaggeration if that was possible. She didn’t know exactly how word spread but she blamed Jagger… And Clara… And Audrey Bourguis… Nadja.

“Girl, everyone was there,” Alya said excitedly. “Ladybug was there. I forgot you two knew each other.”

“Yeah,” Marinette raised an eyebrow. “I figured.”

Alya continued on like she never said anything, “I’d have killed to be there. Jagged Stone sang you a song.”

“Well I’ve known him for a few years now,” Marinette said, because, duh. “He’s like my uncle.” Her crazy, wild, decide to do an entire firework show, and nearly get everyone arrested uncle. “I went to his wedding. I design Penny, his wife’s dress. And his tux. And the bridemaids gowns. The tux for Fang,” Freaking Fang.

“Fang?” Ivan asked.

“His pet crocodile,” Marinette answered. “The same pet he’s had for twenty years. Anyone can find article about Fang, if they. Checked. Their. Resources.”

If Alya noticed the callout, it didn’t phase her as the girl didn’t even blink.

Nino looked confused, “I thought he had a cat?”

Lila’s eyes widened.

I thought you had a brain, Marinette nearly snapped. “Turns out a lot people were wrong.”

“Why didn’t you tell us who’d be there?” Adrien asked. “That my dad was invited. I would have gone. He hates parties.” (“He hates fun,” Chloe snorted.)

“Yeah,” Alix huffed. “Do you have any idea how awesome it would’ve been to meet a pro-skater.

“Or a Futball player,” Kim added.

“A director!” Nino went. “Or those actors.”

Marinette leaned back in her seat. “I didn’t know who all was coming,” She said. “You were invited. I just to invite Everyone I worked with as well. It was a party for a fourteen-year-old girl, I didn’t think they’d come.” At all, what’s so ever. Marinette had just did it to be polite.

“Worked with?” Rose’s mouth opened in awe.

“I designed for them,” Marinette offered. “But I didn’t think they show.”

“Nearly everyone in school was there,” Nino complained.

“No,” The bluenette was quick to correct. “I invited my friends; the ones I know from gamers club, design club, drama club, backing club, the students council. And I invited you, because I thought it was the polite thing to do.”

The clear distinction between the two was obvious.

“My friends came,” Marinette said. “Celebrity or otherwise; they all came. They wanted to wish me a happy birthday. Because they care.”

“Some of could’ve had our big breaks.” Alya snapped, anger in her eyes. “You invited us because you knew we wouldn’t show up!”

Marinette just stared at her before shaking her head, “I had guessed you wouldn’t,“ She admitted, and then smiled. But you were invited.”

#ml salt #ml fic #marinette dupen chang #Marinette deserves better #class salt

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reidingandwriting · 4 years

Text

10 Things I Hate About You (And 1 Thing I Love)

Word Count: ~2000 words

Ship: Peter Parker x Stark!Daughter, Avengers x Reader (platonic/family)

Warnings: Mild language, but that’s it!

A/N: This was so much fun to write honestly, we love fluffy chaos. It was originally going in a COMPLETELY different direction, but I decided to be nice and give you guys the fluffy version instead 😉 I attached the “10 things” list at the end in case you wanted it :)

You took a breath as you stood at the altar, hands interlocked with your fiancé Peter’s, and you began to speak.

“I hate your jokes, they’re so stupid.” Everyone in the room laughed, including Peter. “You’re the only person who could make such lame jokes funny. I especially hate that goofy laugh of yours that follows, that’s what makes the jokes tolerable. I hate that smile of yours, how it lights up the room. Seriously, it’s so bright, I need an Advil for my headache.” Peter let out a tearful laugh and your thumb brushed over his knuckles.

“I hate how hardworking you are. You built yourself up from nothing, you worked hard in everything you did. You overachiever, I look like a slacker. I hate how my family loves you and how they didn’t scare you off. Trust me, my dad tried.” Your dad called out a ‘hell yeah I did!’ which sent the small venue into laughter again. “My family’s all very guarded, but you smashed through those walls and you became like another member of the family. I hate how even my dog loves you, and he hates everyone. You can ask Dad, the day we took him off the street, he tried to bite him. He never liked anyone that I dated, until I met you.” Peter gave you a smile, which you gladly returned. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, but you blinked them back.

“I hate how you always know how to make me laugh, you know I hate how my laugh sounds. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed this much until I met you. I hate how you always want to help everyone, even when struggling yourself. You could be out in the freezing cold, and you would give the shirt off your back to whoever needed it. You’re going to get sick or hurt doing that one day, you self sacrificing dork.”

“I hate how much you care about your friends. I won’t admit it again, but we truly are lucky to have you. Every endless day we spend with you is the best day. Except for our Harry Styles concert, nothing tops that. I hate how you’d lay down your life for your friends- you’d even do it for people who weren’t your friends. That’s just the person you are.” A few stray tears slid down your cheeks now.

“Even with all this complete and utter hatred I have for you,” your tone was playful and Peter was struggling not to cry at this point. You had told him your wedding vows would be a bit unconventional, he expected nothing less from you. You were Y/N Stark after all, being unconventional was a trademark Stark trait. “there’s one thing I love about you that cancels out all of that.”

“You made me feel like I belonged whenever so many people made me feel like I didn’t. From the second I started at Midtown, everyone treated me differently. Students and teachers were either terrified of me and what my dad could do, or they sucked up to me to get in my dad’s good graces. You treated me like I was just Y/N. Not Y/N Stark, daughter of Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. I was a regular teen with you, and I can’t thank you enough for that, Peter.” You wiped your eyes, smiling at the man you were about to marry. Your almost husband. “You introduced me to the best friends I could ever have, and you became the best boyfriend I could ever have. Boyfriend turned into fiancé, and now fiancé is about to turn into husband. These losers in the audience may be part of my family, but I can’t wait to start my own family with you. I love you, Peter Benjamin Parker.”

“I love you, Y/N Y/M/N Stark.” Peter smiled, a tear slipping down his cheek. “Now, if we’re doing the things I hate about you, let’s start with that god awful snoring.” The rest of the ceremony went on beautifully. Your dad wouldn’t admit it, but he totally cried whenever you and Peter said your “I do’s” and kissed. Meanwhile, Pepper wouldn’t let your dad forget it that he cried. Once the ceremony was finished, you moved the reception outside. Laura and Clint’s kids played with Scott’s daughter Cassie and your sister Morgan, while the adults continued the reception. The wedding was intimate, with your family of Avengers and Peter’s Aunt May and some friends of yours made up the guest list.

“I can’t believe Y/N’s married.” Natasha stood next to Tony, watching as you and Peter made your rounds with all the guests.

“Me neither.” Clint hummed in agreement, standing beside Natasha. “I remember the day I taught her to flip off the paparazzi.” Tony laughed at the memory, Pepper sending a playful glare to the archer. Tony still had the magazine in his office, the picture of you showing the camera your middle finger on the cover. You were only nine or ten at the time, you were all grown up now. You still liked to give the paparazzi your signature pose.

“How about the time she programmed FRIDAY to play that horrible Rebecca Black song every time we tried to use FRIDAY?” It was Steve’s turn to speak, and he groaned as he got the song stuck in his head again.

“Or that time she got FRIDAY to play that Black Widow song every time I entered the room?” Natasha’s face morphed into one of annoyance, but there was no real irritation behind it.

“What about the time Lady Y/N came to Asgard and made friends with Loki?” Thor remembered on your fourteenth birthday how you visited Asgard. It took endless tears and begging for your parents to agree. They finally agreed after you made a ten minute presentation, and Thor had promised to keep you safe. You loved Asgard and the people you met loved you- even Loki was fond of the young Stark. During your weekend in Asgard, you had spent equal time with the brothers. Thor gave you tours of Asgard and the castle, while Loki showed you some important spots from his childhood. You hated having to leave, but you came back every time you could. You even convinced Loki to spend more time on Earth (Midgard as he preferred to call it).

“I can’t forget about the time Tony brought in Y/N to the medbay when her hand was broken, he was hysterical. And you remember how she broke it?” Bruce looked at Tony, who rolled his eyes with a faint smirk.

“By punching that Flash kid in the face and breaking his nose.” Pepper shook her head at the memory, looking at the now grown up kids she loves. “They’ve always had each other’s backs. Now they’ve got each other forever. And they’ve got all of us.” Tony smiled as his older daughter walked over, Peter talking to his aunt. You gave everyone a hug, thanking them for coming.

“Sorry to interrupt, but it’s time for our dance, Dad.” Your dad nodded, pressing a kiss to his own wife’s cheek before walking to you.

“Let’s dance.” You lead your dad to the dance floor, your arm linked with his. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and Tony’s wrapped around your waist as you began to dance.

“I can’t believe my little girl is married now.” Tony spoke softly as you two danced, your dress sparkling under the lights as you moved. “Seems like just yesterday I held you in my arms for the first time.”

“It doesn’t feel real yet.” You hummed in agreement, looking up at your dad. “It still feels like I should be at home, having tea parties with Morgan, and giving you heart attacks with Peter.” Tony rolled his eyes, remembering how mere months ago, Tony was making a cup of coffee. You and Peter came to the lake house for Christmas, and you two were spending time with Morgan in your room.

Tony smiled as he heard the sound of laughter through the halls, until he heard a loud crash and Peter yell “shit!” which Morgan replied “that’s Mom’s word!” Tony ran to the sound, stopping at the sight. Morgan, holding your phone, stood beside Peter, who was doubled over laughing. Then he saw you, sprawled across the floor, roller skates on your feet. Pieces of shattered ceramic, dirt, flowers were surrounding you, which Tony recognized as the vase of flowers Morgan set up last week. You raised your head, looking at Morgan.

“Did you get that on video?!” You fist pumped the air as Morgan nodded, carefully getting back up. You froze when you saw your dad and looked at your fiancé and sister. “Retreat, retreat!!” You skated past your dad, Morgan and Peter following you as they laughed.

“Y/N, Morgan, and Peter! Get your asses back here and clean this up!”

“You see all these gray hairs? You caused them.” You laughed, giving your dad an award winning smile.

“We add excitement to your life.” Tony laughed, twirling you.

“And I can’t be happier that I have you two hooligans in my life.” You smiled as the song paused and everyone looked around. A familiar song started playing over the speakers, and your dad grinned. The slow song had been replaced by Mr. Brightside, one of yours and your dad’s favorite songs. The rest of the guests came to the dance floor, dancing and singing (yelling) the lyrics. The rest of the night was filled with singing, dancing, and laughter.

You stood beside Peter at the end of the night, swaying slightly as you held your sleeping sister. She was older now, but she never missed a chance for you to hold her. Your eyes traveled the room, taking in the sights around you. The rest of the kids were off by themselves, eating leftover wedding cake and drinking soda out of the champagne flutes. Ned and MJ had taken over the music, playing everything from throwbacks to today’s music, jumping around (as they’d call it, dancing) and laughing. The team of heroes were all broken out into their own groups, everyone getting along fine.

“I can’t believe this is our life.” You spoke after a minute of silence. “I remember when it was just me, my dad, and Happy. I never would’ve thought my family would grow from that group of three to all of us now.” Your eyes landed on your dad, who was laughing with the original Avengers team.

“If you would have told me in the start of high school that I was going to become an Avenger, fall in love with Tony Stark’s daughter, and join the family of the Earth’s mightiest heroes, I would think I was in a dream. And now it’s my reality. I’ve always wanted a big, happy family like this. And you gave it to me.” Peter smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. Your eyes closed, savoring the moment.

“Our family’s about to expand by one more, too.” You whispered and Peter’s jaw dropped as it clicked.

“We’re having a baby?” You nodded with a smile, laughing as Peter hugged you tight, being careful not to disturb Morgan.

“We’re having a baby. Don’t tell my dad you know, he wanted to be the first to know.” You rested your head on his shoulder and Peter’s arm made its way around your waist.

“Our child really is going to have the best family to grow up in.” As you looked at your husband, you smiled to yourself.

‘Yeah.’ You thought. ‘They really will.’

1. Your stupid jokes

2. Your laugh

3. Your smile

4. How hardworking you are

5. How much my family loves you

6. Even my dog loves you, and he doesn’t like anyone

7. How you always know how to make me laugh

8. How you always want to help everyone

9. How much you care about your friends

10. And how you’d lay down your life for them

11. And how you made me feel normal

Taglist: @daughter-of-stark @agent-barnes40 @spideygirl2003 @ditttiii 💖 Taglist is OPEN, please let me know if you’d like to be added. Requests are also OPEN, feel free to make requests :)

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swanqueeneverafter · 4 years

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Sins of the Past Pt.14

Camelot. Courtyard. (Finally arriving back at the castle, Lancelot leads the knights into the courtyard where Morgana has been addressing the people.) Morgana: (Directly to Lancelot:) "As your Queen, I expect your allegiance and devotion." Lancelot: (Dismounting his horse:) "Is that right? Well it just so happens that there is but one Queen that we recognise. Long live Queen Quinevere!" Knights: "Long live Queen Guinevere!" Morgana: (Coldly:) "I will give you one more chance to pledge your allegiance to me." Lancelot: "Long live Queen Guinevere!" Knights: "Long live Queen Guinevere!" (To Morgana's dismay, several of the villagers and courtiers begin to chant along with the knights.) Morgause: (Stepping in:) "Perhaps this will help you change your mind." (Morgause raises her hand and several soldiers raise their crossbows.) Lancelot: (Defiantly:) "Long live Queen Guinevere! (Using her powers, Morgause forces the soldiers to turn and point their crossbows at the unarmed villagers:) No!" (Before the men can shoot however, a battle cry is heard as Xena and Gabrielle arrive. Hurling her chakram, Xena disables the crossbows while flipping in mid air and catching the weapon upon its return.) Gabrielle: (Seeing the glint return to Xena's eyes:) "I guess I don't need to ask if you're ready to fight." Xena: (Drawing her sword and twirling it:) "Bring 'em on."

(A battle breaks out between the soldiers loyal to Morgana and the knights. Xena and Gabrielle evening up the odds for Lancelot's men. Somehow managing to remain unnoticed amongst the fighting, Merida raises her bow and points it towards the balcony. Knowing that she'll only get one shot, Merida is torn and unable to decide who to shoot before reinforcements arrive in the courtyard.) Morgana: "Take them to the dungeons! (To Morgause:) Have Lancelot brought to the throne room." Morgause: "Yes, Your Highness." (Morgana leaves the balcony while Morgause watches with a satisfied smile as the rebels are rounded up below.) Neverland. (Armed with her own bow and arrow, Tiger Lily leads Regina and Emma through the uneven terrain as they carry Maria between them.) Emma: "So you mean to tell me that since Pan left, magic has pretty much disappeared from Neverland?" Tiger Lily: "Mostly, yes. There are still pockets of magic scattered across the island, but not many." Regina: "Obviously Pan's hideaway is one of those pockets and once we're back inside it, we can poof ourselves back home." Emma: "Is that why you're still here? You were stranded once the magic left?" Tiger Lily: "No, mine is a self imposed exile. This existence, where I am far from the temptations of magic, suits me much better." Emma: "Is that because of what happened with Rumplestiltskin? Is that what drove you away?" Tiger Lily: (Shakes her head:) "Those events took place hundreds of years ago, Emma. I continued my duties as a fairy godmother to countless children after Rumplestiltskin." Regina: "So what caused you to give up that life?" Tiger Lily: (Stops walking and faces them:) "There was another child who’s fate was forever altered by my actions. A beautiful baby girl was born to the King and Queen of a powerful nation. All was well at first, until the day it was discovered that the girl held magical powers. The King had come to power at a time where the people were distrustful of magic. Indeed, it was the King who had ordered many people, including children, to be drowned if they were discovered to possess magic." Regina: "The Great Purge. You're talking about Uther Pendragon?" Tiger Lily: (Nodding, continues:) "Queen Ygraine begged me to save her child from that same fate. And so, under the cover of darkness, I smuggled the infant Morgause out of Camelot and gave her to the High Priestesses of the Old Religion to raise. Uther was told that the child had died and I swore an oath never to reveal my actions to anyone. After that, I left my life as a fairy behind me, determined never again to play a part in ruining another child's life." Emma: "You know, if she and Morgana hadn't just put a bounty on my head, I might've felt sorry for Morgause." Regina: (Looking behind them:) "Speaking of which, it seems we have a few bounty hunters on our tail." Tiger Lily: "Lost Boys. Quick, this way!" (Regina and Emma follow Tiger Lily while the hollering of the Lost Boys draws ever nearer.)

Arendelle. (With everyone now awake and the party cancelled, Elsa is pacing worriedly as she learns that Lily hasn’t been seen or heard from. Anna speaks to Hook and Rumplestiltskin who were called to aid in the search. Kristoff is casually holding onto a chair, attempting to remain calm.) Elsa: "So, no one has heard from Lily? There's been no sightings from anyone in the castle?" Kristoff: "Since you asked me ten seconds ago? Nope." Hook: “Something is definitely going on here. First my wife goes missing, now my daughter.” Anna: (Suddenly grabbing him by his shirt:) “All right, Mr. Pirate Man, think! Who have you messed with that would want to take their revenge on you by kidnapping Lily?!” Kristoff: (Helpfully:) “And Maleficent.” Anna: “Her too. (Shaking Hook:) Well?!” Elsa: “Anna! Release him this instant!” (With a growl, Anna releases Hook. Kristoff takes her hand and moves her away.) Hook: “It’s all right, love. I’ve been asking myself the same question since I got here. The truth is, I just don’t know who would want to do this.” Rumplestiltskin: “There is the possibility that this has nothing to do with revenge. We don’t even know if the two disappearances are connected. Maleficent could simply be spending sometime alone. Perhaps she’s in the Forbidden Fortress as we speak?” Anna: “Well, Lily has definitely been taken. She wouldn’t just get up and leave my sister’s birthday party. We’ve been working on it together for months!” Elsa: “I can't just sit here. I'm going after her.” Kristoff: “Go where? There are no tracks to follow.” Elsa: “That’s impossible. Lily can’t just have vanished.” Kristoff: (Sighs:) “I don’t suppose there’s any point in trying to stop you?” Elsa: “You can't. I'm the queen.” Rumplestiltskin: (Cutting in:) “Which is exactly why you need to stay in Arendelle. There has already been one Queen overthrown today. Until we know exactly what’s going on, we can’t rule out any possibility.” Elsa: “You think someone kidnapped Lily in an attempt to get me to abdicate?” (At that moment, a guard enters without knocking, clearly with important news.) Guard: "Your majesty. I apologize for barging in like this, but we have news from one of our scouts.” Elsa: (Hopeful:) “Have you found Lily?” Guard: “No. But they discovered something else in their search.” (He hands Elsa a leather wrapped piece of parchment. Elsa reads the report on the parchment.) Anna: “What does it say?” Elsa: “Lady Helen, or at least the real Lady Helen, was found dead in the outskirts of the forest.” Kristoff: “Well that's one less person to interrogate. Look, I know every inch of those mountains out there. Let me go and start the search for Lily.” Elsa: “No, you're not going anywhere. It's too dangerous. If Mr. Stiltskin’s right and Lily was taken because of me then the kidnappers would be only too happy to capture my brother in law too." Kristoff: “So I'll be real careful.” Elsa: “You're staying right here. As you said, I am the queen of Arendelle. So let me be the queen and handle it.”

A Cave. Location Unknown. (Much like Elsa, Lily is seen pacing. Unlike Elsa, Lily is confined to a cage. Grabbing the bars, she shakes them violently, screaming to be let out. Crouching down in the corner of her cell, Lily attempts to metamorphose into her dragon form.) Balinor: (Entering the cave carrying firewood:) "That won't work. (Lily opens her eyes and stares at the man:) That cage is designed to keep you contained in your current form." Lily: "Why am I here? What do you want with me?" Balinor: "That can wait. I was told you didn't get to eat anything at your fancy party. (Indicates the firewood:) So I'm fixing dinner." Lily: "I have powerful allies. Friends and family who will come looking for me. My mother-" Balinor: "We know about your mother." (They stare at each other, Balinor dropping his gaze first.) Lily: "What have you done with her?" Balinor: (Walks away:) "Don't worry yourself needlessly tonight, little one." Lily: "Where is she? Do you hear me? What have you done with her?!" Wonderland. Grendel's House. (Still sitting on the kitchen floor and struggling with her bonds, Ella looks to Will who continues to stare at the images playing over and over within the knot.) Ella: “Will, let's get out of here. I can't find my mother if I'm dead. Forget the knot.” Will: “We've got to have it. Let me talk to him. Don't worry. I'm good with monsters.” Ella: “No. This is for me, and I say we find another way.” Will: “This is for me, too, and we're doing it. (Cheerily:) Excuse me, Mr. Grendel? That woman that you've been looking at, she's quite lovely.” Grendel: “Stop talking.” Will: “Do you know her? Does she have a name?” (The Grendel growls and stalks over to Will, raising his hand. Then, his attention caught by the images playing in the Forget-Me-Knot, The Grendel calms, watching.) Young Woman: “Tell it again, dear. I love that story.” Young Man: “I would gladly tell it to you-” Grendel: “Forever.” (The Grendel sighs as the young couple kiss.) Will: “She was yours, wasn't she? You loved her. (Grendel growls:) Losing someone you truly love, it can change you.” Grendel: “How do you know?” Will: “Because the way you look is how I felt. Believe me, I understand what you're going through.” Ella: (Whispers:) “Keep talking. It's working.” Will: “I say that the only way to move on is to leave the past behind ya. Looking through that knot, thinking about her, seeing her, remembering her. It hurts too much! You want to move on, you have to let go of the hurt. It's the only way.” Grendel: “I don't want to move on.” Will: “Sometimes you don't have a choice. It's for the best, mate. Trust me.” Grendel: “Silence! (He grabs an axe, pointing it at Will:) Dinner time.” (The Grendel walks over to the fireplace and adds another log to the flames.)

Storybrooke. Mayor's Office. (Snow White stands with her arms folded, clearly ready to argue.) Snow White: "Just admit it. You feel embarrassed about the jousting competition and you don't want to show your face at the camp site." David: "I am not embarrassed. Aladdin won fair and square. He got to his feet before I did. I have nothing to be ashamed of." Snow White: "No, of course not. Neither did Humpty Dumpty." David: (While Snow sniggers with laughter:) "Oh I see, you're enjoying this. All right, laugh it up. (Snow does, continuing to laugh:) I refuse to be embarrassed by something you're partially responsible for. (Snow continues to giggle, using her hands to mime David trying and failing to get back to his feet:) You know what? Fine. You want to hear an embarrassing story, how about this..." Storybrooke. Recent Past. Outside Swan-Mills House. (Emma waits outside for David to pick her up in the police cruiser when she receives a call.) Emma: "Hey, 'Gina, what's up?" Regina: "Oh, nothing, just missing you. We both are." Emma: (Smiles:) "Yeah? You guys still in bed?" Regina: "We sure are. Want to see?" Emma: (Looking around to make sure she's alone:) "I'd love that." Regina: "Hang on a sec." (Emma waits a moment, then receives a photo of Regina and baby Maria laying in bed together.) Emma: "Aw, you look so comfy, now I'm gonna miss you both even more." Regina: "I know, but we'll be right here waiting for you when you get home." Emma: (Smirks, looking back towards the house:) "You know technically I'm still at home." Regina: "Then come back to bed." Emma: (Sighs:) "You know I can't. They're short-handed at the station. (David pulls up alongside her:) David's here, I better go." Regina: "Hm. Well all right, but only if you call me that name I like. (Emma, seeing David stepping out of the car, mutters something unintelligible:) What was that? I couldn't hear you." Emma: (Louder:) "I said I love you, Smoopsie Poo." David: (Standing behind Emma:) "Damnit!" (Emma spins around to face her father, utterly mortified.) Regina: (Magically putting herself on speaker:) "I told you I could get her to say it." David: "Yeah, yeah you did." (David passes by Emma, walking to the front door and posts twenty dollars through the letterbox.) Emma: "Wait, you guys set me up?" (Emma receives another photo, this time of Regina with her tongue out and the caption: ‘Sorry, Snuggle Bunny.’) Regina: (Chuckling:) "Have a good day, Sheriff." (Regina hangs up.) Mayor's Office. Present. Snow White: (Having listened to David's story:) "Well sure, that's a little embarrassing, but you can bet Emma didn't just take that lying down. And that's all I'm saying, David. Yes, you were humiliated, but that doesn't mean you can just hide out here all day." David: (Putting his hands up:) "You're right, of course you're right. I'll see you tonight." (David leaves and Snow returns to her paperwork.)

Mayor's Office. Recent Past. (Stuck in a boring council meeting, Regina sits behind her desk reading through a stack of papers while Snow White makes her closing statement. Although used to tolerating her former step-daughter/current mother-in-law's long, rambling speeches, Regina isn't exactly thrilled to be forced to listen to one less than a week removed from the end of her maternity leave. After reading the same sentence for the third time and still not understanding it, Regina glances up to see Archie asking Snow a question that will undoubtedly prolong the meeting for at least another ten minutes. Resignedly, Regina returns her attention to her papers. After finally managing to read through the document, Regina places it face down on her desk before picking up another. The next document in question is actually a letter market 'urgent', written in familiar handwriting. Looking up once more to check it isn't time for her to speak, Regina slices open the letter and begins to read.)

Dear Mayor Swan-Mills,

Please can you help me as I have nowhere else to turn. It seems I have spent the whole day baking and yet have no one here to taste the 'forbidden fruits' of my labour. As you can see from the enclosed photograph, the kitchen really did become quite hot, but I managed to keep my apron on regardless.

Hoping you are well, Emma

P.S. Maria is asleep and if you're not home in five minutes, I'm starting without you. xxx

Regina: (Practically jumping to her feet:) "This meeting is adjourned." Archie: "But I was just-" Regina: "I said we are done here!" (The members of the council meeting begin to file out of the office while Regina starts stuffing papers frantically into her bag.) Snow White: (Concerned:) "Is everything all right?" Regina: (Distractedly:) "Hm? Oh, yes it's fine. I just have to leave, immediately. (As Snow continues to stare at her:) Really, it's nothing. Your daughter's laid out a lovely spread... (An explicit image flashes in her minds eye:) Er... I mean she's in heat. (Gasps:) I mean Emma's prepared something hot and I have to go and eat her. I mean the meal! Oh, whatever!" (As a flustered Regina disappears in a cloud of smoke, Snow shakes her head knowingly, not having been fooled for a second.)

Neverland. Present. (Still too far from Pan's Hideout, Regina, Emma and Tiger Lily decide to take a stand. Placing Maria's carrier on the ground, they turn to face the oncoming group of Lost Boys.) Lost Boy 1: "Over there!" Emma: "Listen, we don't want any trouble and clearly we're not going to fight you." Lost Boy 1: "There's only one thing we want from you." Regina: (Stepping forward:) "If you think I'm going to let a group of unwashed adolescents claim the bounty on my wife's head-" Lost Boy 1: "Bounty? What do we care about a bounty? We're here to make you pay for what happened to Pan." Storybrooke. Main Street. (Presumably headed towards the mines, Happy and Grumpy walk down the street with their pickaxes over their shoulders. At the sound of horses approaching, the dwarves turn to see three knights arrive on horseback.) Grumpy: (One of the knights dismounts and draws his sword:) "Didn't anyone ever teach you not to mess with a dwarf and his pickaxe?" (Grumpy swings and is quickly disarmed. Happy's axe is taken from him without a fight. Forced to their knees, the dwarves look up to see the third knight remove his helmet.) Third Knight: "Didn't anyone ever teach you to kneel before your betters? Now, tell me where Emma Swan is."

#sq #swanqueen #swan queen

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sunaswife · 3 years

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i literally cannot stop listening to dancing queen and mamma mia. I’ve listened to them an ungodly amount of today. They just give me so much serotonin :( anyways, how was ur day?

I feel you bubs I’ve been listening to Isabellas lullaby and Gimme Chocolate by Babymetal lmao I practically know the words. My day was okay I guess...

My dad and I don’t really have a relationship. He left when I was five and remarried the women who he cheated on my mom with and had a family with her. That doesn’t bother me because I love my brothers but my dad would only call on my birthday or when he remembered I existed. I didn’t even know I had an older sister until I was 12, and it was from the woman he was married to BEFORE my mom like wtf? My dad needs to keep it in his pants I swear to god. But he always promises things but never goes through with it.

So like last December he calls and asks what I want for Christmas when he should know that it’s offensive to me because I haven’t celebrated Christmas in over ten years and I’m a converted Jew. I told him I didn’t want anything or needed anything, I felt like he’d just give me $100 and call it a day cuz that’s what he always does. (He thinks money makes up for lost time 🤩) But he said he’ll get me a car and I laughed since I didn’t believe him.

But guess what! He got me a car! Obviously it’s not new but it’s good enough and he got it fixed with a mechanic. I needed paperwork signed and instead of doing that with the previous owner he just hands me all the paperwork and expects me to do it when I’ve never done this before. I go to the DMV and the Bill of Sales is not valid and he needs to fill out the paper work because my dad bought it and he gifted it to me. BUT HE DOESNT UNDER WHY HE NEEDS TO SIGN IT WHEN IVE EXPLAINED MULTIPLE TIMES ALREADY WHY.

He said he’d come over today, so like an idiot I canceled my plans because I need to hurry with the DMV paperwork because there is a time limit and when I call to ask where the fuck he’s at he tells me he’s at a party. LIKE WHY ARE YOU IN A PARTY IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC?!?!

Anyways I can’t even confront him because his wife doesn’t know he got me a car and 🤠 I’m pissed because he broke yet another promise which proves I can’t trust him.

*Queue sad story music*

When my parents were barely separated (I was like 5), he’d pick me up on sundays and he’d call my mom that he was going to take me out. I was a daddy’s girl so I would always get so excited, my mom would bathe me and I’d get all pretty with my little pigtails. My mom said I would wait by the gates of the apartment for my dad, and he never came.

I cried obviously because I was heartbroken so after that when he would say he would pick me up my mom would lie and say that I was getting ready for a surprise or to go out. And if my dad came then that was a surprise and if he didn’t then my mom would take me out or we would see my grandma

*end sad story music*

I’m just tired of the men in my life lying all the time. Like first my dad, then my ex?? Like I’m just done with men.

Suna would never.

But I also got good news today!!! So 💗💗💗 it makes up for my disappointment.

#[🔪.speaks]#[💌🔪.asks]#sorry I ranted

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heyyyharry · 5 years

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Silly Love Songs

(from ‘Couple in Flat 102’)

…in which Harry and Y/N have an uninvited house guest, and their two best friends are in hot water.

Okay this is freaking long so ignore any mistakes you might find, and pretend this whole thing is grammatically correct! Yay!

Warning: smut, mention of smut, language.

wattpad link

Harry believed he was a romantic person.

Though he might not appear as someone who was naturally good at conveying his feelings, he had always been passionate about the things he loved. So when he fell in love with his flatmate, who adored romance and sappy stuff like handwritten notes, flowers and balloons, he voluntarily turned into the guy who would give all that to her.

But it was a long time ago.

Today one of his co-workers asked him about the most romantic thing he'd ever done for Y/N, and Harry realized that he hadn't done anything romantic for her lately. Maybe he'd already grown accustomed to her presence in his life so he didn't think those things mattered anymore.

The last present she'd received was from her boss, who'd given her chocolate on Valentine's Day, and a wedding dress! That man had even taken her to a party and danced with her. Was Harry the one marrying her, or Jack?

No, said the voice inside Harry's head. Something has to change. And he surely wasn't gonna wait until the next day to take action.

That evening, he waited outside of her workplace in his car with a strange kind of elation he couldn't explain. Without waiting for her to ask why he was so cheerful, he honked the horn and announced, "get in, woman. We're going on a date."

"A date?" She snorted, probably thinking he was only joking.

"What?" Harry gave the girl a shrug. "Engaged couples can still go on dates."

The last time they'd gone out was a couple weeks ago and they weren't even alone, Niall and Layla were with them. Harry had mentioned this date several times in the last two months, but since their jobs had been too crazy, they never had time to arrange one. So Harry couldn't blame Y/N for being surprised to hear him declare that they were going out tonight.

Without hesitation, she hurried into the car and asked him where they were going.

"Where do you wanna go?" He questioned, to her surprise.

"Wait, you have no plans whatsoever?"

"Of course I...don't. I'm a spontaneous man." He chuckled as she huffed and hit him on the arm.

"Okay let's go eat then, I'm hungry," she suggested.

"My wife wants food, she gets food."

The way he sang out the words made Y/N laugh as she called him silly. Honestly, she could call him anything she wanted as long as he got to see that smile on her face every single time.

On the way to pick her up, he'd really thought about how they hadn't spent much time together like they used to, and he blamed himself for his own fear that she might be slipping away. Maybe she was slipping away. He couldn't read her mind, but he'd never had to tried before. Ever since Jack showed up and started showering her with affection, Harry had begun to realize that he'd got a lot to lose. The one thing he feared most at that point was never making her laugh again. He couldn't let that happen.

"Wait, last week Kate took me to this Korean restaurant, but I can't remember the address..." Y/N pulled out her phone, and froze the moment she switched on the screen. "Five missed calls from Layla?"

"She probably lost her hoop earrings again." Harry rolled his eyes as Y/N decided to call her best friend back. She shot him a glare and told him not to be so mean.

The beeping on the line lasted for about three seconds before Layla finally picked up the phone, but instead of speaking, she was making...noises.

"Are you...laughing?" Y/N asked her friend as she exchanged confused looks with Harry, who was probably more perplexed than she was.

"No, I'm crying!"

"Okay, calm down. I can lend you my earrings it's fine—"

"No dumbass, Niall and I broke up."

"Layla, don't joke like that."

"What did she say?" Harry leaned in.

"She said Niall and her broke up."

"I'm serious! I'm standing outside your door! Hurry up home!"

Just like that, the crying girl hung up without at least one goodbye. Harry didn't hear any part of that short conversation, but as he saw the look on Y/N's face, his smile soon faded away.

"It's probably a prank." He laughed nervously. Deep down inside, however, he also had a bad feeling about this. "You know Layla."

"I do. That's why I know it's not a prank," Y/N said, pinching her forehead. "Let's go home. She's waiting for us."

"W-What about our date?"

The green-eyed man frowned, yet that pouty look got his lover smiling. She placed a hand at the back of his head, pulling him in for a kiss on the lips. She could see how excited he'd been, but Layla had always been there for her, and what kind of friend would she be if she abandoned the poor girl in a time like this?

"We'll make sure Layla's fine and then go on our date, yeah?" She said, forehead resting against his.

Harry simply nodded, pulling away from her as he started the car engine. At that moment, a part of him kind of knew they weren't going out tonight.

The drive home was intense as Harry kept stealing glances at the girl in his passenger seat. She didn't say a word to him, not even when he pulled over and she got out and headed straight to the main entrance of their building.

"Wait," he shouted, making her freeze and turn her head around. She asked him what was wrong because she didn't understand why he seemed so reluctant to come in. But he didn't explain and just repeated what he'd just said, asking her to give him a second as he walked to the back of the car and opened the trunk. He was supposed to save that surprise until the end of their date, but he figured as soon as they saw Layla, their night out would be officially canceled, so he might as well just give it to her now.

Y/N was completely at a loss for words, when her man took out a bouquet of red roses and gave it to her along with his sweet dimpled smile.

"What's the occasion?" She asked when he kissed her cheek.

"I don't need a special occasion to buy you flowers."

Y/N wasn't a fool. First the spontaneous date, now the roses, she knew he was up to something. But she didn't ask any more questions. If he already had a plan, she didn't want to ruin it by demanding an explanation. Besides, she still had a big problem waiting for her upstairs.

"Wow, wow, wow, stop right there!" Nam shouted as soon as Y/N and Harry entered the lobby.

The doorman didn't wait for the perplexed couple to ask questions about his attitude, he rushed to their sides and pointed to the roses. The serious look on his face nearly had them freaked out.

"I know you two are supposed to be this adorable 24/7, but I think Layla would die if she feel this much love in the air."

Y/N exchanged cautious looks with Harry and he nodded to answer the question in her head. So she laid the flowers down on Nam's desk, asking the man to keep it there for her until Layla was gone.

"How was she when she got here?" Harry asked their doorman.

"She was crying so hard and nearly hit me when I asked her what was wrong." Nam breathed out through his mouth as he rolled his eyes. "Good luck, kids."

Y/N and Harry both swallowed hard after hearing that answer. Layla could be mean all the time but she'd always been harmless (to them). Now, with a broken heart and no one else to turn to, she could be...unpredictable. Y/N and Harry thought they might need a lot of luck to deal what that.

As soon as they stepped into the hallway, the couple found their friend sitting right outside their flat, with her knees to her chest. Her hair was covering most of her face, but they could already hear her sobbing from the other end of the hallway.

The last time Y/N had seen Layla that devastated was at her birthday party a few years ago, when Niall introduced his girlfriend to everyone. Now that she recalled that night, Y/N was afraid to ask Layla what the reason behind their breakup was.

They didn't do a lot of talking, not at all actually, Layla couldn't speak with all the crying anyway. The poor girl threw herself into Y/N's arms the second she saw her best friend, and kept repeating the two words "it's over" in utter despair.

"He cheated on me."

Harry nearly choked on air when he heard that specific word. He knew Niall better than most people, and Niall didn't have to tell him how much he loved Layla, because Harry already knew. In fact, he'd known since their first met, because the guy couldn't shut up about her. So how could Harry believe someone that loyal would ever cheat?

"Are you...sure?" He asked. The look Layla gave him afterwards instantly made him regret his decision to speak up.

"Are you calling me a liar?"

"No, I—"

"Were you there when it happened, Harry?"

"Hey, hey, Layla!" Y/N locked her arms around her girl friend's waist and held her back before she attacked her future husband. "Let's just...go inside and we'll talk, okay?"

Harry sighed in relief as Layla nodded her head, and while Y/N was trying to comfort her, he quickly unlocked the door. His date night could wait, because now he needed to know what'd really happened between Layla and Niall.

"...at first I thought he was on the phone with his mum, so I almost walked back into our bedroom when I heard him say 'you're the only girl for me' and 'nobody can compare to you', and a lot more but I cannot remember..."

"Maybe he was talking to his sister?"

Both Harry and Layla furrowed their eyebrows at Y/N as they spoke at the same time, "Niall only has one brother."

"Oh." Y/N bit her lower lip, looking down. "But...did you confront him?"

"Yes."

"What did he say?" Harry leaned forward with his hands linked together, elbows on his knees.

"He said he couldn't explain at the moment."

"That doesn't sound like Niall."

"You weren't even there, Harold! Stop defending that cheater!"

"Calm down!" Y/N grabbed Layla's shoulder and gave Harry an apologetic look before turning back to the girl. "Did he try to stop you when you left?"

Layla shook her head and was quiet for a bit more. "He just...let me go. I'm sure he doesn't care where I am now. He hasn't called you two, right?"

Both Y/N and Harry shook their heads at the same time.

"See?" Layla shrugged, using the sleeve of her sweater to wipe her own tears. "He doesn't even care."

After hearing Layla's side of the story, Harry was even more confused. He didn't get it. The Niall he knew would never do something like that, especially to Layla. He'd had a crush on her since high school, and ever since they became a thing, he had always been treating her like gold, no matter how ridiculous she could be at times. He wouldn't even dare to look at other girls even when Layla wasn't around, so it was almost impossible that he would ever betray her.

Besides, who would want Layla of all people to hate them?

"Love, I can't reach Niall," Harry said as he stepped into their bedroom, eyes on his phone. "You stay here with her I'll go to his place."

"Wait, H!" Y/N stopped her fiancé just as he turned away. "Layla just called his brother and found out he's with his family in Ireland."

"Why would he come back to Ireland?" Harry scoffed, looking extremely perplexed. Everything was getting much weirder now, and the fact that Niall hadn't said a word to Harry about this trip was most bizarre. "Did Greg mention why Niall came home?"

"Something to do with the family's company." Y/N gave him a shrug. "You know he works for his dad's company and all. Greg didn't even know about the break-up but he refused to interfere as we told him."

Harry pinched his bottom lip with two fingers, trying to connect the dots inside his head, but he knew he couldn't solve the puzzle on his own, not yet at least. Meanwhile, Y/N just stared at him with a smile on her face.

"Well, he'll be back in two days. We'll come see him then," she said. "But in the meantime, can Layla stay with us? She's using the guest bathroom. I'm lending her some of my clothes."

"Stay with us?! For how long?"

"Just two nights."

"But...our date," he mumbled, not sure if she'd heard him, but she had.

Harry cared about his best friends and would do anything to help them, but he'd spent this entire day imagining their date night in his head, waiting for the time to come so he could get out of the office and come surprise her. Now he watched the entire scene shatter in front of his eyes. How could he not be disappointed?

"Aww, baby, we'll go out tomorrow night. Don't you worry," Y/N said, wrapping her arms around his waist, pulling him in. "Not tonight because my best friend needs me."

He also needed her. But he guessed Layla needed her more. So he rolled his eyes and blew up his cheeks like a ten-year-old, asking her to promise him that they would go out tomorrow night no matter what happened.

"I promise," she reassured him with a wide grin.

"Can I still fuck you though?"

"Harry!"

The green-eyed man chuckled at his lover's priceless reaction as she leaned to the side to make sure the door was still closed. She told him not to be so dirty when their friend was staying with them, but when she attempted to walk away, he blocked her path immediately.

"Are you insane?" She giggled quietly when he tugged on her hips and ran his hands under her shirt to tease her bare chest. He could never complain about her never wearing a bra when they were at home, now he couldn't wait to find out if she'd also forgotten her panties.

"What?" He raised an eyebrow teasingly when receiving the annoyed look from his future wife. "I'll be quiet. Not sure about you but you can try."

"You're a dick." She rolled her eyes. But the second he brought his lips to her ear, nippling and biting it, and making his way down to her neck, her whole body almost gave in to him. She could say whatever she wanted, but the way she arched her back to press up against him had made it pretty clear that she was just as needy and desperate as he was.

"Wanna fuck you now." He whispered, biting gently onto her collar bone. It wasn't even a question but she was nodding enthusiastically with her eyes closed. "Yeah? Want me to fuck you?"

"Yeah..."

"Be specific, love."

"Want you to...fuck me," she blurted into oblivion, feeling him smirking against her skin as she imagined the smug look he was wearing. She hated him as much as she wanted him now.

"Good girl." Harry chuckled, taking her jaw in his hand to brush his lips against hers. Y/N didn't say another word. She just pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it somewhere behind them without caring where it landed. She wanted to run her hands all over his naked torso, swearing the sight alone could almost get her off.

Harry had pushed up her shirt to start massaging one of her breasts. His other hand took no time to pull up her skirt and he was slightly disappointed by the fact that she had her panties on. In less than a second, he had them removed and her pinned against the wall behind, both wrists held together by his right hand so she couldn't touch him while he sucked a nipple into his mouth.

She had her eyes shut, too lost in the pleasure to even know reality. His name faintly escaped her lips in wet moans as she begged for more, expecting him to give it to her already, but in a blink of an eye he pulled away and yanked her shirt back down, leaving her gasping for air.

Everything happened so fast that her brain hadn't even got time to process as she heard a scream. Her eyes flew open. Her head turned to the bedroom door.

Layla stood there with her eyes widened and hair still wet from the shower. She was too shocked to even move an inch as the couple jumped away from each other. Harry hurriedly picked up his shirt from the floor and threw it on as he started fixing his hair, as if his messy curls would give away what Layla had already witnessed with her own eyes.

"I don't think I can unsee that now," she mumbled with a hand on her forehead. "Go on...uhm...be safe!"

Just like that she ran off without a single eye-contact with neither Harry nor Y/N. Taking one look at his girl, who soon followed her friend out of the room, Harry knew there was no way they could finish what they had started. Hopefully, a cold shower would solve the problem in his pants right now.

"Layla! I just prepared the couch for—" Harry's feet turned to stone as soon as he reached his bedroom door. He'd been waiting for Layla to go to sleep so he could finally be alone with Y/N. But now, in their bed, his fiancé and her best friend were soundly sleeping. "—you..."

Oh well, he thought to himself and quietly approached the bed, trying not to wake the girls as he leaned down to see if they might still be awake.

Y/N had her arms wrapped around Layla, whose head was on her best friend's chest. They were slightly snoring so Harry assumed they'd been sleeping for quite a while, and that if he tried to wake them up now, one of them, or both, would kill him without doubt.

Carefully, the young man bent over, palms laid flat on the mattress so as to press his lips gently to Y/N's forehead. The girl shifted a bit in response to the kiss, but she was smiling, and seeing the beam on her face had Harry grin like an fool in love.

When Harry walked downstairs with a pillow and a huge blanket, Nam didn't even look surprised. Ben was also there, still in a suit, probably had just stopped by after work to visit his...boyfriend?

"Why do you look homeless?" Ben chuckled, leaning against Nam's desk as Harry flopped down on the sofa in the middle of the lobby.

"Y/N and Layla took the bed, Treasure took the couch and almost scratched me when I tried to wake her up," he said with his arms crossed, looking so indifferent that people might start to believe he'd got kicked out of his own flat too many times before.

"Oh, she's still upset about the Niall thing?"

"Everyone is upset about the Niall thing." Harry shook his head, now anger was etched on his face. He loved Niall and still refused to believe his best friend had done a bad thing until proven guilty, but he would punch that Irish guy in the face for all this unnecessary drama he'd brought upon everyone. "Well, at least I've got you guys."

"Actually..."

"What?" Harry looked at Nam, eyebrows furrowed.

"Ben and I are gonna go out."

"But it's your shift!"

"Nobody cares if I'm here anyway." Nam shrugged, laughing slightly as he reached out to hold Ben's hand. Yup, definitely dating, Harry thought to himself, but he didn't even get a chance to ask, because Nam was quick to wave him goodbye.

"Watch the door for me okay? We'll be back real soon."

"Wait—"

"Bye H! Love you!"

"Ben!" Harry called after his friend, who had already ran after the doorman out of the building.

Being left alone, again, Harry fell back onto the couch and pulled the blanket over his head as he growled in frustration. Just as he thought his day couldn't get any worse, life surprised him once again. He blamed it all on his best friend. Niall had better have a good excuse for this mess he'd created. If Layla didn't end up killing him, Harry certainly would.

The next day finally arrived and Harry had got all ready for his date with Y/N. He'd put on his nicest outfit, prepared a list of places he was gonna take her to, he'd even come up with the cool things to say that he knew would make her laugh. It was almost like he was getting ready for their first date again. That was exactly what he hoped she would feel at the end of the night, like they had just fallen in love.

"Ready to go, baby?" He shouted from the door while fixing his collar.

"Wait a second baby, Layla is looking for her other earring!"

Harry became paralyzed when he heard that from his lover. Y/N appeared less than a minute later, and he was still standing there, motionless, lips parted, gawking at her, then at her best friend who followed right behind Y/N like her own shadow.

"What is it?" Y/N giggled as she reached up to fix his hair. She looked so beautiful in that knee-length skirt. She'd always looked beautiful, but now that he knew he couldn't have her entirely to himself tonight, she had become even more breathtaking. It was almost torturing to Harry.

"Layla's coming with us?" He finally dared to ask. This time, Layla seemed too depressed to even insult him or attempt to hit him.

"Yeah. Is it okay? Please?" Y/N clasped her hands together, eyes sparkling as she looked at him like a cute little kitten. Fuck, the voice inside his head cried out. She's adorable. Fuck you, Niall.

"Please?" Layla mimicked Y/N's tone. "I...I don't wanna be left alone."

It was the nicest she'd ever sounded, and it kind of softened Harry because if Layla could be this gentle, that breakup must've done her damage. Now both girls were giving Harry cute puppy dog eyes. What kind of person would he be if he said no to them? The voice inside his head cursed him in all the languages he knew, but on the outside he put on a forceful smile, and nodded his head to agree that Layla could join them.

The girl couldn't stop thanking him as she walked straight towards the lift, and Y/N and Harry followed right behind. With a hand on her butt, he leaned down and whispered into her ear, "if I Iose it and have to fuck you in the restaurant bathroom. It's your fault."

Little did Harry know, they weren't going to that Korean restaurant she'd told him about. The three of them ended up at a bar in walking distance from where they lived. It was so crowded that night and they might even have to line up to use the bathroom, let alone have sex in there without someone banging on the door every one minute.

Well, fuck my life, he thought to himself.

"I thought we were gonna eat dinner?" He asked Y/N as they all took their seats by the bar.

"This place also serves food," she answered while checking her phone. She seemed distracted and had been texting on the way there. Harry didn't know for certain, yet he already had a bad feeling about this. Was she hiding something from him?

Layla grimaced as she scanned her eyes around the place. "I don't know, Y/N. Those creepy men in the corner keep staring at us...and...and I miss Niall."

That was actually the first time Harry and Y/N had ever heard Layla admit that she missed Niall. She'd never even once said she loved him in front of their friends, so to hear that from her for the first time, knowing it was really over between them, made Harry feel so sad. Y/N, on the other hand, didn't seem to worry much. She typed something down on her phone and told the other two that she had to make a phone call and would be right back.

Harry quickly grabbed the girl by the arm when she intended to walk away, asking her what was wrong, because he was getting worried about her strange behaviors ever since they left their flat. To his disappointment, Y/N didn't give him a satisfying answer and just repeated the same thing, saying she would be right back and asking him to keep Layla company in the meantime.

"I love you," he blurted.

Judging from her reaction, Harry realized he should've thought twice before saying so. He expected her to ask him why he'd randomly said those words, but she didn't. She just said she loved him back and hurried on her way, almost like...she didn't care. And when she disappeared into the crowd, his heart almost stopped.

What if she really didn't care how he felt about her anymore? Was that why she didn't even want to be alone with him? Had he lost her without even knowing that he had? So many questions left unanswered. Harry looked at Layla, and for a second there he thought he could finally empathize with her.

It'd been almost five minutes since Y/N was gone.

The song playing from the speaker stopped halfway through, sending the room into sudden silence. There might be a technical problem, and as Harry looked around he realized he and Layla might be the only people who'd noticed that, or everyone else wasn't at all bothered by the change in atmosphere now that the music was gone.

"You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs," the woman sitting next to Layla at the bar sang out loud, almost wanting the whole place to hear her. Harry and Layla exchanged looks, assuming she was just drunk. Strangely, they appeared to be the only two paying attention to the weird woman. Everyone else was still minding their own business, as if they hadn't heard a single sound.

The bartender brought out Layla's drink. As he handed it to her, he started singing the next line instead of talking like a normal person, "I look around me and I see it isn't so."

Harry nearly fell off his chair when the big fat man sitting next to him followed, this time with background music blasting from the speaker, "some people want to fill the world with silly love songs."

"And what's wrong with that, I'd like to know," the pink-haired waitress sang as she sat down on one of the men in the corner's lap. The guy kissed her on the cheek and finished the line in a surprisingly beautiful voice, "'cause here I go again."

All of a sudden, everyone rose from their seats and started harmonizing together. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing, Harold?" Layla whispered, clinging onto Harry's arms.

"Wait, you can see this too?" He blinked fast and rubbed his eyes, hoping it was just a crazy dream. "Are we in...high school musical?"

Without further ado, the answer both of them were looking for finally showed up.

"Niall?!"

Harry almost choked on air when his best friend jumped onto the table and grabbed the mic someone tossed to him. And just like a scene from those rom-coms Harry had watched too many times, all the lights went off at once, leaving one single spotlight on the Irish guy who also began to sing.

"I can't explain the feeling's plain to me, can't you see." He jumped from table to table to get to the one closest to Layla. "Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me now can't you see."

The girl was in shock when her supposedly ex-boyfriend caught a rose some random person threw at him and handed it to her. She hesitated, but took it anyway."Love doesn't come in a minute, sometimes it doesn't come at all." Immediately he grabbed her by the hand, hopping down from the table and pulling her closer. They were eye to eye as he kept on singing, "I only know that when I'm in it. It isn't silly, love isn't silly, love isn't silly at all."

The music gradually faded out but the strangers around them kept singing the same three words softly in the background.

I love you, I love you, I love you

"What is—"

"Shh!" Y/N appeared out of nowhere, pulling Harry to the side to make more room around Layla and Niall. It was not until then that Harry looked around and noticed that everyone else had also stepped further away from the couple. Harry held his breath, he knew what was going on, and there was no way he would miss a moment like this.

Niall was on one knee in front of an emotional Layla, who was covering her mouth with both hands, trying to stop her happy tears from flowing uncontrollably down her pretty face. Anyone could guess what happened next. Niall took out a tiny box from the inside of his jacket, then held it up with trembling hands.

"I've known you since we were sixteen. You've been my best friend, my best girlfriend, the most perfect girl I've ever known. The only girl I've ever truly loved, and nobody else can compare to you."

Wait, are those the words Layla had heard him say on the phone? Harry wondered as he looked at Y/N, who somehow could read his mind and gave him a proud nod.

Niall went on after a short pause, "you always said all love songs were silly because cheesy romance got on your nerves, but at the same time always yelled at me for never doing anything romantic for you." Layla snorted as she heard him. But she was too busy shedding happy tears to make a sarcastic comment like she always did. "So I hope this Silly Love Song has changed your opinion on romance, and me. I love you, Layla Scott. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you...marry me?"

"Yes," she said without any hesitation, nodding so fast her head could fall off and she wouldn't even care.

Niall quickly put the ring on her hand, and pulled her in for a passionate kiss as some guys behind the counter shot congrats confetti in the air while everyone else is cheering for the newly happy couple. When they pulled away, Layla started punching Niall's arms and shouting at him "I fucking hate you" repeatedly, to which he responded with a laugh, and also "I love you more."

Then, the truth was finally revealed.

When Layla heard Niall talking to the phone, he was really speaking to another girl, and that other girl was...Y/N. Niall needed to run his lines because he had never been good with words, so he called Y/N and asked her to listen and give him feedback on what he was going to say.

Layla gasped as soon as she heard that story. "Y/N, you knew about this?!"

"Wait, and I didn't?!" Harry pointed to himself, making his best friend and fiancé burst out laughing.

"Mate, I love you but you kind of blew up your own proposal," Niall said, patting him on the back. "Besides, Y/N knows Layla better, that's why I asked for her help."

"Aww, baby, don't be upset." Y/N giggled, wrapping her arms around Harry's neck as she apologized for hiding the whole plan from him, and said that she was also very shocked to find out Niall had come to her and not him.

To say Harry wasn't disappointed would be a lie, because he wished he'd been a part of his best friend's dramatic proposal. Nevertheless, he did feel very relieved knowing the real reason Y/N had begged him to take Layla with them tonight, and the person she'd been texting earlier was just Niall.

"We nearly cancelled the whole thing when Layla thought he was cheating on her. But I managed to keep her calm so Niall could continue with the preparation. We also had Greg lie to her about Niall coming back to Ireland," Y/N said, leaning against the bar with a beer in her hand. "The owner of this place is a close friend of Niall's family so we got to 'borrow' the bar for one night. Niall actually came here early to persuade these strangers to support his plan. They'd been practicing the songs for hours before we arrived."

"You actually believed I would ever cheat on you?" Niall laughed out loud and kissed his fiancé on the cheek. "I love you way too much to even have time thinking about someone else."

"Ugh. You're becoming way too Harry now," Layla sticked out her tongue in disgust as Harry replied to her insult with his usual 'heeeeey'.

"But..." She sighed, circling her arms around Niall's waist and resting her head on his shoulder as she mumbled, for the first time in front of their friends, "I love you, too."

So, Harry's plan had failed.

Again.

He didn't get a romantic dinner with his fiancé, didn't get to take her to all the places on his list either; but he did get to witness a beautiful proposal, and have a crazy party after that to celebrate the special event. He was very proud of Niall, and also himself for believing in Niall. And now, while walking back home with the woman he loved in his arms, all the bad luck in those two days had vanished from his memory.

"My feet hurt." Y/N stopped suddenly, telling Harry to wait as she took off one shoe and checked the back of her heel, which was already red and swollen. "I think I can still walk but—"

"Hop on." Harry didn't even let her finish that sentence as he squatted down, pointing to his back.

She stared at him in uncertainty, shaking her head no as she said, "I might crush you."

"I doubt that." He scoffed. "Come on."

Y/N knew he would stay like that until sunrise if she didn't cooperate, so she rolled her eyes and got onto his back, arms around his neck, legs around his waist as he picked her up so easily.

"Are you on yet? I don't feel anything at all." He pretended to gasp, making Y/N giggle as she rewarded him with a kiss on the cheek. Just like that, he continued to walk while giving her a piggyback ride.

"What Niall did was kind of romantic," Harry said, making her smile.

"Very romantic," She corrected him. "And it was all his idea, not mine."

"I'm sorry."

His unexpected reply really put her in shock.

"About what?" She asked, mouth wide opened.

"You deserved that kind of proposal, not the lame one I gave you."

"Aww. But I thought yours was very romantic."

"No, it wasn't." He shook his head fast to disagree. "I nearly lost the ring and someone else got to wear it before you did. It couldn't be any worse."

"That's not true, H."

"I can't even remember the last time I did something romantic for you..."

"Well..I can." Her reply actually surprised him. "In fact, I can list a thousand romantic things you've done for me in just the past week."

Then she started counting on her two hands. "Let's see....You helped me look after my brother who's in the hospital. You picked me up everyday after work and asked me if I was tired, as if I could ever feel tired after seeing your smile. You kissed me good morning, good night. You braided my hair. You read to me. You asked me to dance with you in our living room. And now, you're carrying me on your back because my feet hurt. Do you still want me to go on? Because I can."

There was a moment of silence. Though Harry couldn't see her face, he could feel her smiling at him. "My man is the most romantic guy I know. And I couldn't be any prouder."

Harry had never blushed that hard before. He was glad it was dark and she couldn't see it. But he wouldn't mind if she did.

"I can walk from here," she said when they were getting closer to home, still he didn't stop for her to get off.

"Nope, I'm carrying you straight to our bedroom."

"Oh wow, really?" She laughed softly into his ear. "Maybe I should compliment you more often then. I might never have to walk again."

Harry started smiling so big his jaw actually hurt but he didn't even care, thinking he would keep that smile on his face for the rest way home. However, he probably had concluded a bit too soon. It turned out there was another surprise for him, and this time for her as well.

They ran into Jack. And this time, he wasn't alone.

The older guy was walking hand in hand with a beautiful brunette and Y/N recognized the girl right away. That was the same girl who'd left Jack's office and made everyone of his employee second guessing for days about her identity and her relationship with him.

"Hey," Jack was the first one to speak when he and his date stopped in front of the other couple.

Y/N climbed down from Harry's back, smiling at them. She hadn't really spoken to him since Rose's birthday party, so she'd never got a chance to ask him about his new girl. And it was pretty awkward to see him outside of work like that, considering how quiet they'd been around each other.

"This is Maria." Jack introduced the brown-eyed girl to Y/N and Harry while still holding her hand. "My girlfriend."

Harry was a bit appalled, yet Y/N just went straight in for a handshake. "Hi. I'm Y/N, I work for Jack. This is my fiancé, Harry."

"Nice to meet you both," said Maria.

Y/N couldn't decide what the prettiest thing on that girl's face was, her long eyelashes or her dimples. The girl looked like a freaking model, and Y/N thought Jack and her definitely made a good-looking couple.

"Are you two on a date?" Asked Harry.

"Yeah." Jack nodded. "You guys too?"

"We just got back from a party actually. Our best friends got engaged," Y/N told him.

"That's great news," was all he said before showing another smile. He'd been smiling more than he normally would, to the point where she couldn't decide whether his happiness was fake or genuine. Of course, she wouldn't point it out.

"It's nice running into you," he said, looking at Y/N only. "But I really should get going now. See you."

"See you at work." She agreed, waving goodbye at him.

Jack said nothing else and just walked right past the engaged couple into the opposite direction. Y/N's eyes followed him and his new girl, but neither of them looked back, not even once.

"He's got a girlfriend now?" Harry was also staring at the other couple in disbelief as they walked further and further away.

"Apparently so." Y/N shrugged before turning back to him. He didn't understand what was so funny that she couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear. Without waiting for him to ask, she told him herself, "he's taken. I'm taken. It's never gonna happen, H."

"I'm not worry." He snorted, making her raise an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Not even jealous."

"Are you sure?"

The skeptical look on her face made Harry laugh as he attacked her without warning by tickling her sides. He knew how much she hated it, and Y/N started jumping all over the place, dying of laughter as she begged him to stop and she would do anything to make up to him.

"You said it yourself, princess." He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. He whispered against her lips, "let's get you home first."

"Carry me, my humble servant!"

The man laughed as he lowered himself so his fiancé could get on his back again. Picking her up, he said, "You're lucky you're cute."

"And you love me."

"Yes." He rolled his eyes. "And I love you."

And so the young couple were joking and laughing and kissing on the rest of the way home. They were walking on air, like most people in love should be.

But somewhere down that road, another man in love was carrying a broken heart.

"Girlfriend, huh?" Maria raised an eyebrow at Jack. There was nothing official about their relationship, so when he said those words, she knew something was off, but decided to play along anyway.

"Sorry." He flashed her a smile with that one-word answer. He knew Maria wasn't the kind of woman who would be bothered by such attitude, because just like him, she wasn't expecting deep emotions between them, not yet at least.

"Was she your ex?" She asked.

"No, she said it herself. She's my employee."

"Does she know her boss is in love with her?" Maria asked with a smirk as she placed one hand on Jack's cheek to stroke his face, getting the man to give her another smile.

"Don't be silly," he said.

"Are you in love with her?" She asked him still, though she already knew what his answer was going to be. Absolutely nothing. "You don't have to say it. I can read your mind."

"Oh dear." He chuckled in amusement, slightly shaking his head as he received a nod from her as a reply. Maria walked closer to the man and playfully bit onto his shoulder as they both laughed together.

"So..." She trailed off, smiling at him. "My place or yours?"

"Mine."

They finally reached his car and Jack leaned down to capture the Latina's mouth with his own. They kissed for a little while before pulling away and he opened the door on the passenger side for her. He did look back, once, but the person he hoped to see had already been long gone. With a bit of regret and hesitation, he got into the car, and eventually drove away.

Love was everywhere tonight.

A recently broken up couple got engaged in a bar. A young man thought he was losing the love of his life, only to find out her feelings for him had never changed. Two lonely people found comfort in using each other's body to fill the void. And one man realized he loved a woman who would soon be another man's wife.

So it was fair to say falling in love was like flipping a coin, you never knew which side it would land on. There were always two possible outcome, good, and bad. If it was somewhere in between, then it wasn't love that you'd found.

Love wasn't just happiness, it was also doom and gloom. Love could make you feel insecure, but at the same time, might be the only security in your life. Love could make you laugh or cry. Love could also make you laugh and cry. People gave love away, but didn't always get it back. We defined love the way we'd experienced it, and therefore, love had no clear definition.

So maybe love was silly.

But at the end, it was still the best kind of feeling in the word, wasn't it?

#harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #flatmate!harry #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfics #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles fluff #boyfriend!harry #harry styles writing #harry styles series

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whiskynottea · 6 years

Text

An interruption in the 1st law of thermodynamics.

Previously, Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37

AO3

A huge thank you to my amazing beta @theministerskat, for putting up with me and for making this story better!

Chapter 38. A Birthday Cake

I always imagined my 18th birthday as a super special day. It would be the beginning of my adult life, and needed to be celebrated accordingly. Not by throwing a huge party, not necessarily, but by doing something that I would remember forever. Something like what Jamie did for my 17th birthday. Now that would be a difficult day to surpass.

Jamie, however, was not of the same opinion when it came to his own 18th birthday. It was the coming Saturday, just five days away, and he told me it was just another birthday to him. The only thing he’d asked for was to spend it with me, and maybe hang out with Jenny and Ian too.

“So, you don’t want a party?” I asked him for what felt like the millionth time. “Are you sure?”

“Aye, Sassenach,” he answered, rolling his eyes skywards, and pulled me closer for a kiss. “I dinna need a bunch of people. I only have the one person in my mind that I want to spend it with, and she’s more than enough.” He gave me a cheeky smile and leaned in for another kiss.

“Okay, then,” I said, perfectly happy with the kiss but somewhat disappointed about the party. I wanted to do something special for him, like he had done for me. And mine hadn’t even been my 18th birthday.

Later that day during the lunch break, I ran to the cafeteria, hoping to find Jenny alone and discuss my plans for Jamie’s special day. However, my redhead arrived just after I did, taking the empty seat next to me.

Great. Can’t a girl organize a surprise party at this school?

I whispered a “Later,” at Jenny’s puzzled look and focused on my food. I ate faster than ever, earning a surprised look from Jamie, and picked up my tray in hands, ready to leave.

“I have to meet Mrs. Fitz, see you later!” I said with a quick kiss to Jamie, then turned towards Jenny, whispering, “Meet me in the library.”

Five minutes later Jenny entered the quiet library. Everyone was in the cafeteria apart from two guys at the far end wearing earplugs, so I rushed into the subject hoping we wouldn’t be interrupted.

“I wanted to talk to you about Jamie’s birthday. I talked to him and he said he doesn’t want a party. What’s the plan? What are we doing?”

Jenny’s face changed abruptly, and she gave me a wistful smile. “Aye, of course he doesna want a party. I hoped this year would be different, since he has you, but apparently it isna.”

“What?” I asked, confused. This was not what I expected to hear. “What do you mean?”

“Jamie hasn’t had a birthday party since he was a wee lad. It’s…” Jenny took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then continued, “Our mom and little brother were killed in a car accident, on their way to pick up Jamie’s birthday cake.” My eyes almost popped out of their sockets, but I didn’t speak, sensing she had more to say. Jenny crossed her arms in front of her chest, fingers digging into the soft flesh over her biceps. Her gaze was far away when she spoke again, eyes glinting with unshed tears. “She usually made the cake herself, she was a fine baker. But on his 8th birthday Jamie had repetitively asked for a 3D WALL.E cake. Mom couldna do it by herself, so she ordered it from a shop in Inverness. We lost them both, mom and wee Rob, that afternoon, and Jamie never wanted to celebrate his birthday again.”

I stood there shocked, looking at Jenny, feeling my heart breaking in my chest. “He never told me… I mean, I knew that your mom… But not how…”

“Aye, he blamed himself, he still does. Twasna his fault, and sometimes I just wish we could open his thick head and pluck out that stupid thought.”

“But we can’t,” I said, still lost, but trying to think how I could help him. He hadn’t even told me… “Jenny,” she looked back at me, once again composed. “He asked me if we could spend the day together, and maybe hang out with you guys.”

“Did he now?” she raised both eyebrows. “That’s an improvement. He usually spends the day all by himself and hardly accepts any well wishes.”

I nodded, more hopeful now, thinking I could take it a step further. “So we can gather up at your place, right?” I saw Jenny nodding and I continued. “I’m thinking of making him a birthday cake.”

Jenny pressed her lips into a thin line and shook her head in disagreement. “Claire, I dinna think that’s a good idea.”

“Homemade. With love. It’s not like we’re throwing a huge surprise party full of casual acquaintances, it’ll only be only the four of us. And Murtagh,” I added Jamie’s uncle as an afterthought. “He has to accept that we love him and we care. What kind of punishment lasts 10 years?”

“I dinna ken…” Jenny said, the frown on her face carving deep lines into her forehead. “If we lose him again?” she asked, and before I could ask what that meant she continued. “He didna talk to anybody for about six months after the accident. Not a single word. Not even to the therapist.”

“But he was eight years old, he’s eighteen now. He has to confront his guilt at some point. What’s a better opportunity than his birthday, having all the people who love him around? You know, to face his fears.” I emphasized each argument, feeling that they were as much for Jenny as for me. “I don’t know…” I began to doubt myself.

“Aye, me neither.” Jenny bit her lip hard, exhaling loudly.

We left the library with shadowed faces, both of us deep in thought. I didn’t know if Jenny was thinking back to that day, to the party that turned into a funeral. I was thinking of it, of the boy who expected his mother back at any moment, the sister who kept teasing him about her last birthday cake being better because it had strawberries in it, the father who picked up the phone and heard the cold voice of a stranger announcing that his wife and son wouldn’t be coming home. Loss, knocking on their door when they least expected it.

But do we ever expect loss?

I knew I hadn’t expected my parents to never come back home from their weekend anniversary trip. And yet, they hadn’t. I’d been sure that I would listen to the doorbell at any moment and my parents would wait for me behind the heavy wooden door, with the doll they’d promised me and the hugs I’d missed - but the doorbell never rung. What had rung was Lamb’s phone, interrupting my narration about the elephant and the mouse, and moments later, Lamb was trying to steady himself with a hand on the kitchen table. Phone calls, changing our lives forever.

The more I thought about it, the more certain I was that I needed to help Jamie forgive himself. He had to accept the fact that life is cruel sometimes and it’s no one’s fault. Certainly not his. He had been just a little boy who wanted a special cake for his birthday.

I was lucky enough to leave school alone, or else Jamie would have seen on my face that something was wrong. Still, he texted me once he finished training, asking if I was alright.

Damn his sixth sense.

I texted him back, a message full of emojis and exclamation points, trying to convince him everything was perfectly alright.

That night I lay in my bed, thinking about Jamie’s birthday over and over again, while texting him about the irrelevant details of my day.

Sassenach: We had chicken for dinner, too!

I sent the message, my mind far away from my dinner with Lamb.

Will he be mad at me, when he’ll realize I pushed him so much, knowing what this meant for him?

Another text from Jamie, quoting me saying that I didn’t like chicken.

Sassenach: I know, but Lamb is really good at it! An Indian recipe I think.

And back to my thoughts again.

Should I do a WALL.E themed cake, to give him what he never got as a boy? Will that bring back only bad memories?

Another text. Jamie seemed pretty invested in my uncle’s tikka masala recipe.

Sassenach: Pretty sure it had turmeric in it. It helps the memory, did you know that?

I sent the message and winced.

What if he wants to delete those memories? Should I just listen to Jenny and be content with the fact that Jamie won’t lock himself in his room this year?

I was still waiting for Jamie’s reply, when his sister’s name popped up in my notifications.

Jenny: Someone has to shake him out of this stupid guilt loop. Let’s do it Claire.

And then another one.

Jenny: Do you know how to make a cake?

Well, the truth was that I didn’t. I had never baked anything in my life, but there is a first time for everything.

I would make his birthday cake. I was on a mission.

The next day I started my search for recipes, thanking Brin and Page for inventing Google. I needed something easy, preferably with almonds and cherries. Not more than two layers, because a cake falling-apart would make no one feel better. Not a super fancy frosting either. Definitely not sugarpaste - I hated sugarpaste. At last, I ended up with a couple of recipes that seemed relatively easy and tasty, and chose the one with the prettiest picture - hoping mine would look the same, even though I knew it wouldn’t.

That Friday night I asked Lamb if we could cancel our usual dinner out, and stationed myself in the kitchen.

It took me an hour and a half of mixing and waiting expectantly in front of the oven, only to end up with a flat, uneven cake that looked like a total disaster. After more google searching, I learned I wasn’t supposed to overmix the batter after I’d added the flour.

Had I overmixed it? Was that when I went to my room for a quick call with Jamie?

Cursing and hissing, I started over, paying more attention to the recipe now. However, I did give myself a little pat on the back for buying double amounts of all the ingredients.

Another hour and a half later, I had a perfect almond cake cooling on the rack. I took a deep breath and proceeded with the filling. I’d opted for a simple, classic buttercream with cherries. The swiss meringue buttercream sounded delicious, but I didn’t trust myself with those egg whites. Having already ruined the cake once, I felt like the increased risk wouldn’t pay off in the end.

It took me another hour to finish with the filling and assemble the cake. God, baking was exhausting. Finally, I sat at the kitchen table, admiring the product of my labor. It didn’t look like the picture I had seen, but it was beautiful. One final touch, and it would be complete.

I took the piping bag, filled it with dark blue buttercream and tried to keep my hand steady.

Just keep swimming.

We love you.

It was from Finding Nemo, not WALL.E, and it was perfect. Both figurative and literal. No one would ever call it calligraphy, but it was legible. The final ‘you’ was a little smaller because I accidentally made the ‘love’ bigger. I thought of fixing the second line and rewriting it, but I wasn’t sure if the first layer would show through or not. Plus, I was exhausted.

I set the cake in the fridge and walked straight to my room. It was a quarter to twelve, and I knew that Jamie would be asleep already, but I wanted to stay up until midnight to be the first to wish him a happy birthday. The second after I sent the message, I fell into bed and slept, dreaming of runny frostings and crooked letters.

Jamie’s text woke me the next morning, much earlier than I would have liked. I called him back, singing the sleepiest rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ and taking in his laughter like it was an espresso shot.

Jamie had no idea about the cake. All he knew was that we’d meet after his training, we’d buy to-go coffee and we’d walk to our favorite place – Calton Hill. And this was exactly what we did.

Jamie was happy, and I felt my heart fill every time his laughter echoed in my ears. We sat at our spot and I gave him his gift, the one he’d been asking for from the first moment he saw me caring the bag. He took the wrapped box in his hands and looked at me with a broad, childish grin that made me think of the little boy waiting for his mother to return home with his cake. I swallowed hard and blinked back tears, grateful that Jamie was too distracted with the colorful packaging to notice me.

“What is it, Sassenach?” he asked, eyes fixed on the box.

“You might as well open it and find out,” I smiled at him, hoping he’d like it. I had been looking for his gift for almost a month.

Jamie tore open the wrapping paper and stared at the box. “Ultra Fast-Dry Travel and Sports Towel,” he murmured.

“Lightweight and compact, an essential gear for swimmers!” I chimed in as if I were in a television advertisement.

Jamie flashed me a huge smile and leaned in to kiss me, the box blocking us from getting too close.

“Do you like it?” I whispered the moment my lips were free again.

“I love it, Sassenach,” he answered, setting the box to the side to pull me into his arms.

We kissed for a long while, before Jamie opened the box to inspect just how soft his towel was. “Now I’ll have something from ye when I’m at the pool as well,” he said, making my stomach flutter with his cheesiness.

Jamie walked me home just before lunch, and we set our date for six o'clock in the evening. Before I walked in I turned to see him leaving, hoping that the evening’s celebration would go just as well as the morning’s.

–

At six o'clock, I balanced the cake in one hand and used the other to ring the doorbell at Murtagh’s apartment. I’d met Suzzette in front of the building and she’d let me in with a smile that said ‘Happy birthday to your boyfriend!’. I’d climbed up the stairs, had taken the cake out of its box and was now waiting at front door with a celebratory smile, hearing the commotion from inside the apartment, and then Jamie’s voice coming closer to the door. “Okay, okay, I’ll get it!”

The first thing I saw when he opened the door was his sweet smile freeze on his face.

That cost me two heartbeats. Skipped, lost forever.

I looked past him to find Jenny, Ian, and Murtagh in a semicircle of hope. They all looked back at me with encouraging nods and smiles. Taking that as a good omen, I turned my eyes back on Jamie. His smile had now disappeared, and a cold mask was over his face, hiding all his feelings.

“Happy birthday!” I said, trying to beat that blank stare, but it didn’t come out as happy as I hoped.

Jamie swallowed hard, his fingers drumming on his thigh almost as fast as my heart in my chest. He opened his mouth to speak and I held my breath, but no words came out.

“I made it myself,” I whispered with half a smile, trying not to cry on his doorstep with the cake still in my hands.

This was such a bad idea. Bad, bad, bad idea.

“Won’t ye invite the lass inside, Jamie?” Murtagh’s voice was stern and I wondered if he did it on purpose, to hide the worry in it.

Jamie didn’t say anything, just stepped aside to let me in.

I said a broken “Hello,” to the three gloomy figures in the living room and headed straight to the kitchen to avoid another uncomfortable silence.

I left the cake on the countertop, folded my arms in front of my chest, and focused on my breathing in a last attempt to keep the tears at bay. I heard a mumble of voices was from the living room, but I couldn’t discern any words. I didn’t know how much time had passed when I finally felt the tears roll down on my cheeks, disobeying every order given by my brain.

I went way too far. The gift and a quiet evening would have been enough. Now I’ve ruined it all.

“Claire,” Jamie’s voice was low as he walked across the kitchen to come behind me.

Without saying anything, he wrapped his arms around my waist, and buried his head in the crook of my neck. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s me that should be sorry,” I said, the tears flowing now out of control. It was as if his touch had broken the last part of the dam that stood upright until that moment. “I shouldn’t have done it. Jenny told me, I knew…”

“Aye, I ken. Dinna cry, mo chridhe.” I felt his own tears on my neck, but I wasn’t able to utter a single word. “I’m sorry I reacted that way.”

“I just…” I said, sobs interrupting my sentence. “I just wanted… Wanted to help.”

“I ken, Claire. Tis just not that easy.”

“I know, but it will never be easy.” Every time he called me by my name, I felt like he was twisting a small knife into my heart - but he had to realize that I knew, that I understood him. I took a breath and continued. “I wanted you to know that it’s okay to mourn your mother, but it isn’t okay to blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault. It’s not fair.” I truly believed what I said, but I still felt that I trespassed on territory I shouldn’t set my foot on. “But I shouldn’t do that,” I continued, putting a hand on his arm. “I should maybe wait for you to be ready…”

“Sassenach,” he whispered, and sighed loudly. “I’ll never be ready. My Da and Jenny gave up a long while ago. Murtagh and Ian too, because I didna listen to them. But ye tried to overwrite the bad memories with good ones, aye? Ye’ve the devil’s own courage, Sassenach.”

“I tried and I failed. I just created more bad memories.”

“No, you didna. And it’s not ye who failed.” Jamie turned me around and cupped my face, brushing the tears away from my cheekbones. “I failed ye. Ye believed in me, but I didn’t… This is so bloody hard, Claire.”

It was my turn to kiss his tears away. “I know. I’m not saying that a cake will change it all, but I thought we could try. It was never your fault, Jamie. It wasn’t a cake or your birthday that took your mom away. It was an accident, life’s wicked game.”

Jamie nodded repeatedly. “It’s just that… If I hadna insisted on the fancy cake, she’d never have gone to Inverness, she’d never… “

I stopped him with a finger on his lips. “Jamie, you didn’t know. You couldn’t have known. There are millions of ‘what if’s’ in everything we do. You just don’t know what might have happened, and it’s time to stop punishing yourself. Your mom wouldn’t want you to carry this on your back.”

Jamie looked at me seriously, and I saw something change in his gaze. “No, she wouldna.” He closed his eyes for a moment, taking deep, full breaths. “I dinna promise ye anything, Sassenach, but I’ll try.” He kissed my forehead, murmuring against my skin, “Thank ye for being by my side.”

“I don’t want to be anywhere else,” I said, kissing his jaw, before I brought his face down to mine, tasting his lips. Our kiss was salty from our tears, but sweet with hope. “It’s with almond and cherries!” I said, nodding towards the cake.

Jamie looked at the cake and turned his blue glittering eyes back to me, smiling. “I’ll keep swimming,” he breathed. “Because you love me.”

I kissed him again, feeling his warmth permeating my skin, making me feel safe again, calming the screams in my mind that cried that I’d lost him.

“Are ye sure that ye willna poison us, Sassenach?” he asked with a teasing smile, and I pinched his side in response.

“You ungrateful -” His mouth swallowed the single word he knew that would follow.

“Scot,” he continued for me.

We took the cake and walked back to the living room, the stains from the tears on our cheeks ending up to curled up lips. Jenny placed eighteen colorful candles on the cake, and we all sang for Jamie. For a Happy Birthday, after ten sad ones.

When he blew the candles out, Murtagh took him in a tight embrace, saying in a broken voice that his mother would be proud of him. I smiled, glancing up to the ceiling, and I silently told Ellen that I was taking good care of her lad. A moment later I felt her daughter’s hand squeezing mine.

Chapter 39

#thermodynamics #The first law of thermodynamics #high school au #jamie x claire #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction

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ff15trashgoldenslumbers · 6 years

Note

I read that cool angst scenario where Reader is suffering unrequited love for Noctis because Reader's sister, Lunafreya? And I was wondering if you could a cute and happy scenario to it, where Reader's selfless ways and actions, suddenly (but yet permanently) sends her to an alternate dimension where she is Oracle and Noctis's girlfriend & future wife?

I kinda really like that one too, and kinda enjoyed the bittersweet ending I gave it. I also loved how all of you guys found my Hamilton references, I was listening to Satisfied on repeat when writing it, and this one I may have been listening to another broadway song…

Your cheeks hurt because of how much you were fake smiling, no one called you out on it, so you must have been doing pretty good at fooling everyone, but mostly the future bride and groom to your left. You looked at the happy couple at their reception, it was so sweet to have your sister find true love, just why did it have to be your own.

No! You couldn’t wish the bride bad luck less than 24 hours to her wedding. Much less it being your sister.

You looked down to your feet where Pyrna had rested her head in your lap, uncertain if she was begging for scraps or just being the needy little pup that she was. You stroked her head, trying to will your hands from shaking, maneuvering your chair as you stood.

“Y/N, where are you going?”

You smiled to Lunafreya, “Just going to step out for some fresh air.”

Lunafreya smiled back, she knew how overwhelming it was for you to be in the public eye, “Take as long as you need.”

You leaned forward pressing a kiss to her cheek, before picking up your dress and leaving the reception area, flanked by Pryna and Umbra. You quickly pushed beyond the guards and the doors to the private balcony, blossoming syelleblossom, recalling the years when you would have Lunafreya make you flower crowns. You felt the tears you had been holding back for hours start to spill, as you press your palms to your eyes, uncaring of your make up smudging, you couldn’t go back to that party.

If Lunafreya loved you so much why couldn’t she share Noctis! Why couldn’t you have him?! You were closer to his age, actually just a month younger than him, Lunafreya was his senior by quite a few years!

You stopped yourself, this wasn’t you thinking. You loved Lunafreya more than anything, she was so kind and selfless. She was the perfect princess, the perfect everything! So she deserved the perfect husband, she deserved Noctis. You couldn’t want him still when there was nothing there to start with, you had no right to him. You just had to go on with the rest of your life, to pretend that you didn’t care that the man who owned your heart was now further away than ever!

This should have been your time! He should have been yours!

You sobbed loudly to the night sky, who were you kidding tomorrow it would all be over. Granted it never really began. The truth was always there before you, mocking you! Your chest tightens as tried to keep your sobs quieter when you heard someone, a guard maybe, moved behind the door.

You only wished, you only wish that in some world, some place in time you could have Noctis for your own.

You moved over to the railing, looking to the lovely waterways beneath the city while helping Lunafreya plan her wedding you had managed to convince her into adding a few things that you loved as well if it was your wedding.

“This is where you went, young one?”

“Gentiana.” You called to your sister ’s guardian trying to clean and dry your face.

The woman smiled that haunting smile to you as she approached you, “You know, there is a story of a young woman in love who braved the waters of Leviathan to be with the one she adored. Leviathan took pity on this young woman and gave her to Shiva to deliver to young maiden to her beloved. The thing is her beloved had died in her world, and she was torn from him.”

You stepped back, as you noticed the frost on the blossoms around you, you always knew that Gentiana was more powerful than she let on “What happen to her?”

“As she had such a pure heart, so full of love and so selfless the goddesses sent her to a place far away. To a place familiar, but also different, one where her burning heart would get the peace it deserved.” Gentiana replied approaching you.

You flinched feeling Umbra and Pryna brush against your sides, you glanced to the dogs for just a moment, only to notice the woman had disappeared. Only to turn as you felt a cold breeze on your back, spinning around as you gasped backing up before you were the two goddesses. You quickly bowed to the ground, eye adverted from the goddess before you.

“Don’t hide little one, we can give you Noctis,” Leviathan called.

You looked at the larger goddess, “You can?”

“You will have to leave here, and places will change, it will be as if you were never born in this realm.”

You thought it over, this way Lunafreya and Ravus couldn’t mourn you as you were never born. You looked to the humanoid goddess before you, her hand out. You moved across the balcony, placing your hand on the blue hand, allowing her to pull you forward and then off the balcony. You glanced back to Pryna and Umbra before being whisked off.

“Wake up! Y/N!”

You groaned you had a dream, it was horrid! only bits and pieces remained in your mind, of destruction and the death of so many. Still, as you were brought further into the waking world you forgot it more and more.

What you couldn’t forget was this person currently hitting you repeatedly with a pillow. You dragged the comforter over your head with a whine, “Nooo.”

“Y/N wake up, I’ll go get Pyrna.”

You huffed, only to have the dog in question landing on you and doing her best impression of CPR, “I’m up, I’m up.”

You were greeted by your elder sister laughing, “Figured you wouldn’t want to sleep through Noctis and the others arriving.”

“Arriving?” You inquired, didn’t they arrive yesterday?

Lunafreya smiled, as she helped you from the bed, “Leave it to you and you’d sleep through your wedding.”

“Wedding?”

Lunafreya laughed, tapping your forehead, “Are you awake yet, come on get a bath.”

You watched as Lunafreya and Pryna left you to get ready, only to find Umbra still there holding a notebook within his mouth. This was Lunafreya’s and Noctis journal, only then did you notice that the book wasn’t the red it normally was but a beautiful blue. As you flipped through the pages you found that it was your handwriting exchanged with Noctis. A phases explaining that you couldn’t wait to visit him in a few days, and him in return excited to see you. You turned to a bookcase within your room, originally filed with knickknacks from Lunafreya’s travels, but quite a few of the shelves had different volumes of the notebook within your hands.

As you sat there, new memories appeared, of a younger Noctis, of you and your family, of memories that were yours but at the same time not. You looked to the dog waiting at your feet, “It worked? I thought it was a dream.” You muttered slipping from the bed, to go and take a shower.

As you dressed your dress a little tighter than the dresses that you were familiar with, walking the familiar halls of Tarabene. It had become a second home back where you were from, as Ravus moved you to the neutral ground when the Fall of Insomnia happened. It was still early so your family was more than likely in the morning garden, as you followed Umbra to the garden you stopped in your tracks.

“Y/N, sweetheart, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Mother.” You cried, as you rushed forward, gathering the woman in a tight hug. You had very vague memories of your mother as she passed when you were much younger, but this was her! She was here!

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Queen Sylva smiled, stroking your face and drying your tears. “Ravus hand me a handkerchief please.”

You hugged your mother tightly, you honestly didn’t wish to let go. Wait, if she was still alive that means that the war wasn’t happening! You allowed your mother to push you back, as she dried your face with a bright smile, Ravus and Lunafreya often told you about.

“Are you excited, Honey?” She asked, moving you to a chair as Lunafreya begun to play with your hair. Something your older sister did a lot when you were both younger.

“Excited?” You asked as Lunafreya pulled the brush through your hair into a high ponytail.

“Looks like we’ll need to cancel, shame,” Ravus stated.

“And what of the cake?” Lunafreya inquired playfully, trying a clip, realizing she didn’t like it, and begun to search for another.

“I’ll handle it,” Ravus replied.

You stared into the mirror, you looked the same way you always thought you did. You didn’t seem any different, but the memories you had they had begun to overlap, and they seemed so different! You had split birthdays with your family and Noctis, you recalled being by Noctis’s side and the announcement of your engagement. Which was only a few weeks ago if you recalled correctly. You recalled how your Mother, Lunafreya and yourself shared the role of Oracle so that none of you burden it alone, and you didn’t have to sit by and watch your dear sister kill herself. Also, Ravus didn’t seem so stress or angry, if anything he seemed more relaxed, still had a resting bitch face, but he seemed much calmer.

“There you all are.” An unfamiliar voice called, as you all turned, only to be greeted by a woman you didn’t recall, but new memories of a name and relation came to mind, it was your sister in law, Ravus’s wife. “Aranea has alerted me that Prince Noctis has currently reached city limits and should be arriving within 5 minutes.”

Ravus moved over to the woman taking her hand, “Thank you, My Treasure.”

You blushed at seeing this side of your brother, in your world he was so, you wouldn’t say Anti-Social but he wasn’t the type to think of his own romantic future. It was so sweet!

Lunafreya finally picked a small tiara for your hair, “Are you ready?”

You nodded, allowing her to help you from the vanity, only to squeal as something rushed over your feet drawing the attention of your family. You glanced down to see a little white animal at your feet.

“There you are Carbuncle,” Sylva called, as she picked up the small fennec.

You recalled in your new memories that Noctis having given you the little one as a wedding gift, as it always followed you around the Citadel when you came to visit him.

“Are you ready, sweetheart?”

You nodded, allowing Lunafreya and your mother to lead you down the hallways to the greeting room. You felt nervous, but according to your memories, your relationship with Noctis was one that was actually based on love and understanding. Not something that was forced together by the council! You actually had a life with him, so you should be ready.

But you weren’t this version of you, at least you weren’t this version of you before, but this was your life now. This was who you were, now! You couldn’t go back to that old world! Your knees knocked as you sat down holding tightly to Lunafreya’s hand, you free hand petting Carbuncle’s back as the little one chirped and purred at you.

“Are you certain your okay?” Lunafreya asked.

You panicked, seems you didn’t get your siblings confidence in this world either, “What if he doesn’t like me?”

“He’d better.” Ravus scoffed.

“Ravus, honey.” His wife giggled, as she turned to you. “I felt the same way when Ravus and I married. Noctis loves you so much, Y/N, you have no reason to be worried.”

You tried to believe your sister in law, only to find yourself holding tightly to Lunafreya’s hand as Aranea walked in. She was definitely not your the one from your world, she wasn’t in her armor but still looked like she could kill you with a caviar spoon if someone crossed her, but she didn’t look so pent up.

You nervously stood as the Lucian royalty moved into the room, only to see Noctis walk in beside King Regis, who looked so healthy.

“Noctis…” You muttered softly, as Lunafreya gave you a slight nudge to get you moving forward. You did so awkwardly, only to reach out your hands automatically, your body acting on memories of this world’s you. Only to smile as Noctis placed his hands within yours quickly. Only for those blue eyes that you wished to hold love for you and you alone stared into your soul. You felt a small snap as all your memories from this world crashing down on you in under a moment.

Those clear blue eyes held everything! The love you always wanted for yourself, the hope, the respect, the affection. You were drowning in this moment, as your body lead you through the motions that was your story! You held tightly to the man’s arm, as you greeted the others and watched as Lunafreya seemed to be flirting with a man you didn’t recall from your world, but in this one, the name Nyx came to mind. You needed to request for Noctis, your husband to be! To have Nyx escort Lunafreya all day tomorrow there was obviously a relationship happening there.

Through a late lunch, you felt your cheeks hurt as you smiled so brightly to your family. To your Noctis that held your hand underneath the table the entire time. You were so happy this one wasn’t a false one.

“Y/N, Sweetheart,” Sylva called, you hated to turn your eyes away from Noctis. “Why don’t you show Noctis where we’ll be holding the reception?”

You blinked in confusion, before nodding with a soft smile, a romantic walk with Noctis! How beautiful! Noctis helping you to stand as you were escorted out the room by himself and his three friends, at least Prompto, Ignis, and Gladiolus hadn’t changed. You led the four men to the large garden surrounded by fountains and so many beautiful flowers.

“Is that where you’re saying your vows, Y/N?” Prompto inquired, pointing towards a long walkway in the middle of a grand lake.

“Yes.” You smiled, you were always fond of these three and the memories you had here told you that you had all bonded rather nicely.

“We should ensure that it is up to standard protocols, wouldn’t wish for anything to happen on your perfect day,” Ignis stated.

“You’re right Iggy, come on Prompto.” Gladiolus chuckled, his arm wrapped around the blonde as he dragged the smaller man to the walkway.

You blinked in confusion as the men walked down the garden path, they hardly ever left Noctis side. At least not super far away, if you recall correctly. Only to turn as you felt Noctis give you a slight tug of the hand, and then began to lead you down the walkway. Beyond a large arch, and helping to lift you and your dress over the small waterway, to a beautifully hidden gazebo of flowers. You watched in confusion as he looked around before smiling as he pulled you forward, pressing his lips to your own.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since we got here.” He smiled pulling back, a blush lining his cheeks.

You blinked, your brain fried as you reached forward cupping his cheeks as you pulled him forward again. Already addicted to these kisses, and you would get a lifetime of them in less than a days time.

Your dress was lovely! Absolutely perfect! When you turned around after the finale of everything and 30 minutes to walking down the aisle, you honestly started crying so hard along with your mother, you went through 2 boxes of tissues, and had decided on waterproof makeup, so you didn’t have to touch up again.

“It’s so perfect. I’m so sorry.” You sobbed, as Lunafreya help set your makeup again. “Ravus, you can still carry me right?”

Ravus chuckled, as he moved over to you, lifting you from your chair, “No matter how big you get, you’ll always be my baby sister. I’ll make certain you make it to your groom.”

You hugged him tightly, he wouldn’t be walking you down the aisle unfortunately as the walkway was rather narrow with your huge dress, but it helped that your family would all be there. Your morning moved quickly and you tried to recall the last time you were this happy in either world.

“15 minutes, Y/n.” Your sister in law called from the other side of the door.

“We’ll return shortly.” Sylva smiled, pressing a kiss to your forehead, followed by Lunafreya, Ravus and your sister in law.

You took a deep calming breath, only now realizing that you were in the room with Pryna, Umbra, and Carbuncle. A moment to reflect on your life, and just how happy you were, only to turn as you saw something out the corner of your eye.

“Shiva, Leviathan.” You cheered, stepping to the balcony, worried about everyone seeing Leviathan, who could miss the large goddess?

“Is this what you wished, young one?” Shiva inquired.

You beamed brightly,“Yes, thank you for everything.”

Shiva smiled softly, “I wish you a happy and full life.”

You curtsied to the two goddesses, as Shiva floated forward pressing a kiss to your forehead. Leviathan leaning over the balcony, resting the tip of her beak against your cheek. “Thank you again for everything.”

You watched the two disappear as you were called from the door, turning to Umbra as he handed you, your bouquet. As you moved to your walkway, to meet your husband, you hardly felt your old memories disappear from your previous world, each step down towards your husband, you felt yourself become lighter and happier.

As you were presented your vows, your life given to your husband, your dreams coming true, you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling as your eternity was sealed with a kiss.

Your life was going to be fine because you had Noctis in it!

#It was aida I was listening to aida #and heathers which was strange #Oh and helpless lol #Noctis Lucis Caelum #noctis x reader #Prompto #Ignis #Gladious #lunafreya nox fleuret #ravus nox fleuret #ff15 fanfiction #ffxv fanfiction #final fantasy xv fanfiction #ffxv headcanons #final fantasy 15 headcanons #final fantasy xv head #FF15 Headcanons

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oochaycheesstuff · 3 years

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An Interview with Samantha Baker

Samantha Baker was born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago in 1968. She was the second oldest of four children - two sisters and a brother. In her family home, she lived with her mom, dad, and siblings. She experienced the classic stuff a teen went through in the 80s: embarrassment, disgust, first love, as well as boys being very forward and not being able to take a hint. Today, Baker lives her life as a loving mother, wife, and health teacher at her local high school. We sat down with her recently to catch up with her and see where she is now in 2021, as well as have her speak on some of her experiences growing up as a teenage girl in the 80s when it came to boys and how she feels about those experiences now.

Hello, Ms. Baker. Thank you for taking time out of your schedule and doing this interview with me.

SB: It’s no problem at all. Thank you for having me.

So, it has been almost 40 years since you graduated high school. That’s a pretty significant anniversary. Is there any time during your high school years that sticks out to you the most or that you remember the most fondly?

SB: A time during high school that I remember the most? Hmm… the number one thing that comes to mind is my sixteenth birthday. My sixteenth birthday was something I had been looking forward to since I was twelve years old. I had it all planned out: a big party with tons of people, a boyfriend, a brand new black Trans Am waiting for me in the driveway. That birthday is one I will never be able to forget, which is funny because all of my family actually forgot it was my birthday on the day of my birthday. I couldn’t believe it. I spent that entire day waiting for any of them to acknowledge me and wish me well, sing to me, anything! But I didn’t get a single thing! It was right around the time my older sister was getting married and everyone was so focused on her that they completely forgot about me. In fact, the only surprises I got that day were my grandparents asking me invasive questions and their Chinese exchange student that I didn’t know about popping up in my room. It completely freaked me out! There was a school dance that night at the school gym and they actually made me bring him along with me. During that time I had a huge crush on this senior named Jake Ryan. He was the main thing that I wanted, but he was already dating this other popular girl, Caroline, who was gorgeous, and blonde, and perfect. I thought I didn’t stand a chance. Well anyway, fast forward to the school dance, I’m watching Jake and Caroline slow dancing. I felt horrible. But then all of a sudden he looks at me, looks away, and then looks back again. It completely took me by surprise and I had to turn away. When I turned around this nerdy kid was right in my face and started making moves on me. It terrified me. He grabbed me and started dancing with me… well… more like dancing around me. He kept touching me and speaking really creepily in my ear. I was not having a good time.

Oh God, that does not sound pleasant at all.

SB: It was embarrassing! When he was too preoccupied with his dancing and wasn’t paying attention to me, I ran out of the gym as fast as I could. Once I got into the hallway, I remember sliding down the wall and crying. I was pretty dramatic back then, but I mean, what teenager isn’t? I saw the guy I had a huge crush on dancing with his girlfriend that I felt completely inferior to and this nerdy kid wouldn’t leave me alone. Anyway, I cleaned myself up and made my way back into the gym to where my friends were and this kid came up to me again! My friends kinda messed with him to the point where he started looking away and rambling, which I took as a time to escape from him… again. I made my way to the auto shop so I could be by myself and he somehow found me AGAIN! He was really relentless.

That sounds like a nightmare. Did you ever figure out a way that made him leave you alone?

SB: Kind of. I was sitting in this car that was missing it’s entire back half when he found me. For whatever reason, which I’m still not sure the reason behind, I unlocked the door for him and let him sit next to me. He makes a comment on how great the night is and I explain to him that it’s my birthday, and eventually find myself going on a rant about how the day did not live up to my expectations whatsoever. I think he started to feel bad and decided to cheer me up by telling me a secret of his. He told me that he had never actually been able to get a girl. Shocking isn’t it? Anyway, he made a comment I can’t quite remember but whatever it was it made me burst out laughing. I guess I made him feel bad and apologized. I guess he took that as a sign to make another move on me. He started to climb on top of me, bumping the car horn, and I had to yell at him and push him off of me. He sat back down and looked upset. I told him not to worry about it, and he took that as a sign AGAIN to get on top of me, which resulted in me reacting the same way as before. I pushed him off and scolded him again. Somehow we were able to get to having a normal conversation about my own nonexistent love life and I told him how I was saving myself for someone in particular, Jake. To my surprise he told me that Jake had asked him about me! I’m sure you can imagine how excited I was about that. He kind of hypes me up and convinces me to find Jake and talk to him. I don’t know how I was able to turn my night around with this kid but somehow it ended up working in my favor. I’ve been going on and on about this night, so to make a long story a bit shorter, I’ll just say that on my sixteenth birthday my family forgot my birthday, but I ended up knowing my crush might like me back and ended up giving my underwear to the creepy kid so that he could prove a point to his friends. And that’s all I’ll say about that.

Woah. That’s a big turn around from where the night started with you two. When telling that story, you mentioned multiple times how the kid kept making advances towards you when you repeatedly would reject him. That is something that a lot of people, especially young girls and women, experience many times throughout life. What do you think is the reason behind why he wouldn’t stop making those advances on you when you repeatedly showed no interest?

SB: Obviously I cannot speak for him specifically, but I think there were a few factors that played into why he and other boys and men that act this way do what they do. I believe that the movies and shows kids are exposed to play a major part in what they deem right or wrong. You know, this was the ‘80s. There were so many movies being made at that time that had so many questionable and distasteful messages that downplayed or completely disregarded how unacceptable behavior like that is. I turned sixteen in 1984, which is the same year movies like Revenge Of The Nerds came out. At the time, movies were being created that didn’t reprimand the behavior of men and boys that behaved in the manner of the characters in those movies. The characters were always seen as the hero of the movie, despite them doing horrible things. I think because of that, a lot of boys and men believed that it was acceptable to act like that, when it’s most certainly not okay.

Being in a high school setting in today’s world must be very different to how it used to be when you were in high school. More people are being vocal about social issues and movements like #MeToo are making themselves more prevalent. Do you actively talk about those topics in your classes and if so, how are the topics handled?

SB: We absolutely talk about current events in my classes. Being a health teacher, it would be irresponsible to not cover issues like sexual assault and harassment along with the rest of my curriculum. Typically in my classes I will bring up a topic one day, ask my students what they know about the topic, sometimes watch a clip from a show or movie that touches on the subject and always have a discussion afterwards. I might show clips from movies like Animal House (1978), for example, that show acts that are inexcusable and should never be done. It allows for there to be a visual example of the issue at hand and makes it easier to ease into the topic for my students. I will sometimes also show clips from shows like I May Destroy You (2020), to show how different victims might handle or cope with these situations. I try to allow my kids to have access to all the information they need when it comes to serious and sensitive topics such as this.

You mentioned Revenge Of The Nerds and Animal House, two movies that are now looked down upon for some of their questionable plot lines and scenes. Nowadays these movies would be what some might consider “canceled”. What are your thoughts on Cancel Culture and do you also discuss it with your students?

SB: Cancel Culture is a big topic these days. As someone who grew up when the movies mentioned were coming out, there were a lot of things that society was okay with then that are now seen as offensive or insensitive. I think Cancel Culture is a difficult subject, especially when it comes to things that were created or stated during a time when certain topics and actions were deemed acceptable. I believe we should acknowledge the bad and harmful elements of the past and use them as examples of what not to do in the future. There are certain things I have said or acted on that I now know are not correct, and I feel that we should treat the media the same. No one’s perfect, that’s a fact, but it’s important to speak on issues that can cause other people emotional and/or physical pain. These issues should not be taken lightly.

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monmonstres · 6 years

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so here’s a little piece on happiness that Chelle from @isaysexualthingsabouttchalamet and it got me thinking about happiness and trauma lol

I’m going through a really weird time in my life right now. I’m a young person in my early twenties that grew up in the terrifying time after 9/11 and a huge shift in the American people. i’m from the generation that doesn’t remember a time without war, that we’re always talking about being vigilant in watching out for attacks, be wary of the other so to speak, and the like and the worst part is, that has been theme not just in the culture I live in and the cultural PTSD so to speak, but also it is very deeply rooted in my personal life.

There’s no way around it, I grew up in an abusive home with my mother. My parents were divorced and my father didn’t take us because he worked too much to actually raise us and I won’t even pretend to know all of his rational, but I long since let that go and forgave him, but the point is, he was only around every other weekend (which is the only reason I’m doing as good as I am).

My mother reminded my older sister everyday that she was overweight and that my mother hated her. She called my brother (who’s trans and only recently discovered so he was raised as a girl) ugly and he wasn’t enough ever. I remember the day that she told him that he needed to get a good job because he was never going to get a husband who made enough money with how he looked. She told me I was only a 7/10 on a good day. I was fourteen when she said this. When we were younger, she used to spank us until we were bruised and sometimes bleeding. I remember when I was 7 and we visited family in Arizona and we went to a river to play. I wandered to far and instead of coming to get me and calmly telling me I needed to stay closer, she marched over and pulled on my arm so hard she almost dislocated it. We were asked to never come back.

On my 12th birthday, which was a pretty big deal since my birthday is Feb 29th so I only get a birthday every four years and that was my 3rd birthday, I had planned a sleepover with some girls from school and since school was 40 mins from my house, the plan was that we would drive all the girls to my house after school. Well, that morning I did something to piss off my mom and I honestly don’t even remember what it was but it pissed her off so badly that the morning of my birthday party, she canceled, left me to be the one to tell the girls at school that it was canceled because of my mistake and that the girls had to find someway to get home themselves. Imagine doing that to a 12 year old.

In the aftermath, I guess she felt bad, so instead she planned a weekend for the family to go to Disneyland and I was ready to forgive her if this was the apology but come that weekend, it was like I didn’t exist. It was weird. At first, I was like “okay, my brother and I are doing out own thing while mom and my step-dad are doing their own thing, you know, I’m probably imagining this” but come Sunday, my actual birthday and we’re having lunch and my mom makes a toast... to my brother, now he turned 18 earlier in the month, which I was like “okay, that does deserve a toast, but it’s literally my birthday today” so I speak up a little, and say “hey mom, um, it’s my birthday too” and she turns to me with this stone cold hatred, like I was a fucking house elf of some shit and I sunk into my chair, confused and hurt and fighting back tears because I had no idea what I did wrong.

In high school, that woman would burst into my room like the fucking SWAT team screaming at me that I was the scum of the earth and I wasn’t doing enough to earn her love and that I would never amount to anything, not even a trophy wife, that would be followed by denial that she ever did that and inflating my ego during the day and even to the point of flirting, yep.

When I was 19 and home for the Summer, she tried killing me. That’s a whole other story in of itself so I’ll spare you the details. All you need to know is that it fucked me up.

Now, what does this have to do with happiness and this period of my life? Well, everything.

You know what I remember as much as all of those horrible things? I remember my oldest sister standing up for my brother and I, willing to take our beatings to protects us. I remember after that lunch at Disneyland my brother pulled me aside and told me “Okay, fuck her, alright? We’re at Disneyland of all places and you just turned 3! We’re going to ride those rides and get those bombass lollipops, and we’re going to have fun, so fuck mom, fuck what she said and also, Margot? Happy Birthday.” I remember my friends cheering me up those days when my mom would emotionally destroy me; I remember them making tents during lunch so I could get naps.

I have tasted the worst of humanity, but through that, I have seen the most beautiful and inspiring things that it has to offer as well

I’m now at the point in my life where I’m recovering, I actually feel these things healing in my chest, I’m reconciling the things that I lived through personally and culturally and understanding that this all makes me who I am, but I am not just that trauma.

Happiness and I have a very strange relationship but I think all of us do. I have learned that human beings feel lots of stuff at once, and for some reason, a lot of emotions don’t let happiness shine through

I’m also coming to understand that sometimes being happy is overrated, feeling alive is much more valuable. I have stood on the edge of a cliff and stared out into the universe and taste the terror it is to be that small, the freedom, the joy and pain of human, and those are the moments that matter more to me, when I feel all of those, that’s what I feel like is more important than just happy or at least how we think of happy.

I guess what I’m saying is just don’t limit yourself, you are apart of the universe and just as confusing, amazing, and convoluted. Let yourself be that, and I understand that’s easier said than done, I’ve got my fair share of mental illness and there are times where I don’t feel anything, but I have found purpose in searching for that feeling.

lol, thanks for coming to my TED talk

#this is literally my personal ted talk #child abuse tw #ooc༻keep quiet or retire or be cool and move on

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gracia-suficiente · 6 years

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So here’s a long and detailed post of my 2017!

In years past, I’ve kept a good things jar which is nice because it helps me keep track of all the good things that happened during the year. Something like that would’ve helped a lot this year because although this year wasn’t awful, it was a challenging year. The year started off really great but then slowed down and got stressful. Towards the end though, it came back up and I’m so excited for 2018. I did keep a good things jar the first couple months of 2017, but I stopped soon after the year started. So if the rest of my post after those months isn’t that detailed, it’s because the rest of the year was a blur.

January started off so strong! I spent New Year’s Eve with my cousin Isaac and family and I actually had a lot of fun! I even got a Native American blessing from my cousin’s wife’s grandfather who is Native American! Bailey and I talked a LOT in January; I have an embarrassing amount of good things papers about phone calls and facetimes with him. Speaking of Bailey, the app that we met on, Beme, died in January which sucked but everyone in the beme community spent the last few days sending each other fun reactions. I started my internship with my (now) previous employer on January 3! Even though I started my new internship, I went back in January for an exit interview with my old job at my university and it was so great to see my old coworkers. They were seriously some of my favorite people to work with. Also! The Catholic Campus Ministry (CCM) planning meetings for Awakening retreat began in January (tbh I forgot I served on team this year!) There were also a lot of birthday parties (James, Jayden, Alice) and even a few anniversaries (my parents and my brother’s godparents).

February started off on a sweet note because Bailey was my Valentine and that made me really happy. Speaking of notes, my little brother had an orchestra concert this month as well! My bestie Vivian turned 24 and I had fun at her dinner; I wish I could’ve gone out with them though. I especially hated having a curfew this past year.

March was long and stressful. Work got hectic, school got difficult, and life got hard and depressing. But March ended up being redeeming also; I got asked to be an ash distributor for the CCM campus wide Ash Wednesday mass! I also served on retreat at the end of March and it was beautiful. God’s timing is perfect and that retreat helped me so much; God is good.

April was fun because I went to two concerts! My sister and I saw The 1975 and we were in the pit; I’ve never been so up close for a concert before. I also took my mom to see Chris Tomlin and that concert was so beautiful. It was also fun to do something with my mom! Easter happened right before all of the concerts and Easter is probably my second favorite holiday; I love it so much.

May was a good month; I graduated from college with my master’s degree! All of the graduation festivities were so much fun; there was graduation mass with CCM, the College of Business hooding ceremony, and then the big graduation ceremony. My family and I had a nice graduation dinner after the ceremony with a lot of family. I also got offered a full time position with the accounting firm I interned for. I started working full time after I graduated. I was so grateful for the position because I struggled to find a job when I graduated from undergrad. Job security is nice.

I saw Miike Snow in June! That was a lot of fun! It was also my first time at one of the smaller venues in my city. I racked my brain, and other than that, I can’t remember anything significant that happened in June.

In July, I finally went to the new baseball stadium in town with my family; I say “new” but it’s been open for a couple of years now and I just hadn’t had the opportunity to go. Going to the game made me remember how much I love baseball. We went over the 4th of July weekend so we got to see fireworks too! Speaking of the 4th of July, my family and I went on the military base where my city’s symphony orchestra had a free concert and fireworks show! It was fantastic and the best 4th of July at home I’ve had in a long while. My little brother turned 15 in July! I went to a job interview with Whole Foods corporate in Austin in July and I didn’t get it. But it ended up working out for the better! And lastly, I saw Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness in July and that was probably the best concert I went to this year. I’ve never had so much fun at a concert. Also, I got to meet The Greeting Committee and A R I Z O N A afterwards too!

What happened in August? I have no idea. According to my memory, calendar, and photo albums, not much.

But not to worry! September made up for the lame August I had! My cousin’s cousin (who is my age and I kinda grew up with) got married the first weekend in September! I turned 24 in September and I spent my birthday at my city’s art museum and I had dinner with my grandparents and family at my favorite restaurant. My parents’ birthdays followed soon after and were fun as well! And then came my Richmond adventure with Bailey! Such. a. great. weekend. After that, my sister and I saw Two Door Cinema Club!

October was hectic with work but I did get to see Portugal. the Man on Friday the 13th! Near the end of the month, my other cousin’s fiance had a bridal shower and it was so much fun getting to know her a little more.

November was fun because my sister turned 21! I also began taking Christian Formation classes at my church in order to become a Eucharistic Minister. I loved learning about my faith and getting to interact with other Catholics. My cousin Nicole had her last high school football game EVER (she’s in marching band) so my family and I went to cheer her on. I went to a job interview mid-November for the job that I currently have now. God is so good and I am thankful that He opened up this door for me in Austin. My family and I spent Thanksgiving at my cousin Isaac’s house and it was so much fun!

December was a whirlwind. I saw Pale Waves with my sister on the 4th. I got assigned to a really big audit at work and I put in my two weeks notice. That was rough. My bestie and I took a trip to Santa Fe to go to a museum. My cousin Nicole turned 18! My little brother had his Christmas orchestra concert. I went to my previous employer’s Christmas party and then the happy hour after. I was invited to be a part of my middle school’s career day (how old am I??). My family and I moved all my stuff to my new apartment in Austin. We spent Christmas with my two aunts who live in the area. Then we came back to go to my cousin’s wedding at the end of the month. I visited an old friend in the hospital with my bestie because she had a beautiful baby boy. And we spent New Year’s Eve at my house with my cousins and tias. December was so wild and I never had a month fly by so quickly; there were so many people I wanted to say goodbye to but I didn’t get the chance. I’m so excited for the new year and what the change will bring for me!

A few lists of things I saw/read/listened to in 2017 (probably not complete as my memory is awful and I didn’t keep track of anything):

Movies I saw: The Accountant, The Infiltrator, Lego: Batman Movie, Thor Ragnorak, The Hitman’s Body Guard, The Big Sick

TV shows I watched: Sherlock, Stranger Things, American Vandal, Over the Garden Wall

Books I read: Journal 3 by Alex Hirsh, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami, The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams

Concerts I went to: The 1975 (with Colouring and Pale Waves), Worship Night in America (Chris Tomlin with Phil Wickam, Big Daddy Weave, and another band I can’t remember right now), Miike Snow (with The Other Half), Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness (with A R I Z O N A and The Greeting Committee), Portugal. the Man, Pale Waves (with The Candescents) [I had tickets to see Foster the People and Atlas Genius but both shows got canceled]

Albums I bought: Gracetown - San Cisco, Harry Styles - Harry Styles, What If Nothing - Walk the Moon, Reputation - Taylor Swift, Sacred Hearts Club - Foster the People, Kaleidoscope EP - Coldplay, Melodrama - Lorde, Unpeeled - Cage the Elephant, GALLERY - A R I Z O N A, Meeting People Is Easy - The Greeting Committee, Gameshow Live at KCRW - Two Door Cinema Club

#2017 #personal #audit life #bailey

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