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#so fuck it i would like to try and make a system that is all about building up chemistry
seungkw1 · 2 days
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make me — ksy
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♡ pairing: kwon soonyoung x afab!reader ♡ theme: smut [18+ mdni], humor ♡ wc: 1.8k ♡ warnings: alcohol consumption, oral (m. receiving, f. receiving implied), handjob, hoshi is obsessed w boobs, hoshi is a simp, i ramble on about star wars for a bit at the beginning ♡ a/n: might have to do a pt. 2 to this one so lmk if anyone is interested in that 👀
“No it’s not.”
“Yes, it is!!”
“Soonyoung. Be so fucking for real right now.” 
Your roommate doesn’t usually drink, and you’re starting to see why. Two Jack & Cokes and he’s fucking gone already.
“I’m telling you y/n, The Rise of Skywalker is so fucking good. You should stop being a haterrrr,” he says, inches away from your face as he leans over to you, nearly pushing you off the couch. You’ve never been this physically close to him, though you’ve certainly thought about it (more than once). Your heart flutters from the proximity of his lips to yours, but you have more important matters at hand right now.
“I didn’t say I hated it, it’s just not that good compared to all the other Star Wars movies!”
He picks up his drink again. You stop him before he can take a sip, handing him a glass of water instead. 
“Well how would I know? I haven’t seen the other movies.”
“WHAT?!”
He takes a big gulp of the water. “I’ve only seen the new ones,” he admits with a shrug.
“Oh my god,” you mumble, resting your forehead against your palm in exasperation. You grab the remainder of his beverage and drink it all in one go. 
This argument isn’t that serious of course - you just need to calm your nerves a bit, considering Soonyoung has now placed your hand on your thigh as he blabbers on.
“Besides, seeing Kylo Ren and Rey finally kiss was great. I cheered.”
“You’re a fucking REYLO SHIPPER??”
“A what?” He blinks at you with heavy eyelids. “I don’t speak that language.”
“Kylo Ren and Rey made a terrible couple, it’s literally toxic. The plot between them should’ve never been a romance.”
“But I like romance!” he practically shouts in your face. You’ve always enjoyed bantering with Soonyoung for fun, but the alcohol in both of your systems is definitely upping the ante. You’ve seen him act ridiculous plenty of times before, but he’s on another level today.
“It’s fucking Star Wars, it doesn’t need romance!!” you shout back.
“Well I think it does!” he states indignantly.
“What do you know?? You haven’t seen the other movies!!”
“So I can’t have an opinion??”
“NO??”
“Why are you being so mean to meeeee,” Soonyoung whines, making big sad puppy dog eyes at you. “I’ve never done anything wrong in my life.”
“You’re literally insane. Get off of me!” you shout as he leans over onto you, practically clinging onto you in his drunken stupor.
He ignores you, getting even more up in your face. “You’re just mad because I have better taste in movies than you.”
“Will you just shut the FUCK UP???”
“MAKE ME!”
You pause, staring at him for a few moments too long. He stares back at you, confusion spreading across his face. Then-
You kiss him.
Your lips press softly against his for only a few moments. You pull back, looking at your roommate eye to eye, watching his inebriated brain trying to process what just happened. As if a lightbulb goes off above his head, it suddenly clicks. He swallows nervously.
“What was that for?” he hesitantly asks, barely more than a whisper.
“I…” you start, but quite honestly you don’t know where that came from. Sure, you’ve found Soonyoung attractive since the day you met him - and sure, living with him has led to a few domestic fantasies here and there. But you are friends, nothing more - your boundaries are unspoken, but clearly established. 
Or so you thought.
Soonyoung’s dark eyes stare into yours. Panic alarms are going off in your head. You fucked up you fucked up you fucked up oh god you fucked up big time…
“I’m so sorr-”
You don’t get to finish that sentence. Soonyoung’s mouth aligns with yours, kissing you hungrily, his hands grasping onto your arms. Shock reverberates through your body as he makes out with you, his hands sliding to your back, pulling your body close against his as his tongue pokes at your lips, requesting entrance. You let him in. He squeezes you even tighter against him as he kisses you like his life depends on it.
After what felt like about a thousand years, you break apart, barely - his lips hovering mere inches in front of yours. The look he gives you is one you’ve never seen him make before - he gazes at you like you’re the most delicious thing he’s ever seen, and he wants to devour you.
You try to speak, but nothing comes out. You’re simply dumbstruck.
“You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he mutters as his hands drop to your hips, still holding onto you for dear life.
“You… like me?”
You silently curse yourself at how dumb you sound. Asking him if he likes you, as if you were in fucking middle school.
“Yeah,” he replies emphatically. “I really really really like you.”
Your head spins, the intoxication doing nothing to help you process this information.
“Um… since when?” 
Soonyoung is still drunk as hell, but he speaks clear as day.
“Short answer, since we moved in together.”
You wait for him to elaborate. He doesn’t.
“And the long answer?”
He shifts awkwardly, doing a very poor job of trying to hide his boner.
“Middle of July. It was hot as balls. I woke up that morning to you making pancakes. You were wearing a light blue tank top with nothing underneath, and-” he trails off. You raise an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to go on.
“And my god, your boobs looked perfect. The pancakes smelled good, but all I wanted was your tits in my mouth.” 
His hand delicately trails up to your breasts, where he is currently staring, taking one of them and squeezing it. He lets out a soft groan as he does.
“Fuck, even better than I imagined.”
“Is that why you took so long to come out for breakfast that day?” you say as your fingertips glide over his thigh, moving toward the very obvious bulge that has formed in his pants. You grab his cock through the fabric. He practically yelps as you begin to caress it slowly.
“Y-yeah,” he answers, his voice going up an octave, practically melting under your touch. 
“So you’re saying that you went and jerked off while you thought of my tits.”
“Um,” he tenses up nervously, realizing what he’s just admitted to.
Before he can say anything else, you take your shirt off, leaving you in just your bra. If his eyes could physically pop out of his head on a pair of springs, they’d be doing just that right now.
You unclasp the hook, removing the undergarment and tossing it aside. He gawks at you - his cock twitches under your palm. You begin to stroke his length, but he immediately grabs your hand to stop you.
“I’ll cum in my pants if you keep doing that.” He’s still staring at your chest.
“Where would you rather cum?”
“I- what?” He looks up at you, his eyes darting between your mouth and your eyes, then back to your boobs, then back to your mouth. 
“Okay then,” you say as you slide off the couch.
“What’re you-” he asks, but freezes as you position yourself between his legs. His body tenses as you undo his belt, quickly unfastening the button and yanking the zipper down. The rock hard bulge protrudes through the fabric of his underwear, begging to escape. You pull the band down, freeing his already-leaking cock. You take the length in your hands, giving it a few slow strokes. He sinks into the couch with a loud groan.
“Oh my god,” he mumbles, your touch sending him to another planet. 
With a swirl of your tongue you lap up the precum dripping from his tip, causing him to let out the biggest whine. You wrap your lips around the head, slowly taking his length into your mouth. 
“Fuckkkkkkk, y/n…” 
He lets out a gasp as you swallow him to his base. He places one hand softly upon your head as you begin to move your mouth up and down his cock. Within seconds he is a moaning, blubbering mess.
“Feels so good baby, oh god don’t stop. You’re so fucking hot oh my god… fuckkkk…”
You increase your pace. Between moans he continues praising you, whining and whimpering, begging you for more. The man simply cannot shut up about how good you’re sucking him off.
And it’s making you so incredibly wet right now.
You want to touch yourself so badly, but your priority is pleasuring Soonyoung. And judging by the way he is wriggling under you, bucking his hips and fucking his cock into your throat, unintelligibly babbling as he moans your name - you’re doing a pretty damn good job.
“Oh fuck,” he cries out. “Fuck, y/n, gonna cum…”
The words are barely out of his mouth before hot white ropes are hitting the back of your throat. He grips onto your hair as he cums, cock pulsating in your mouth as he rides out his high. As he comes down, he collapses into the sofa - you slowly pull your mouth off of him, making a show of swallowing all of his cum.
“Jesus fucking Christ, y/n…”
You climb back up onto the couch. He immediately leans in and starts kissing you.
“Thank you,” he murmurs between kisses.
“Are you seriously thanking me for sucking your dick?”
He shrugs as he wraps his arms around your waist. “You just gave me the best head of my life, least I can do is say thanks.”
“Actually,” he corrects himself right away, “I take that back. If you’ll let me, can I… may I please eat you out?”
You burst out laughing. He looks at you, puzzled.
“Sorry, if you don’t want-”
“No no no,” you tell him, still laughing. “It’s not that, I’ve just never had anybody ask me so politely like that before.”
His face lights up, hopeful. “So can I?” he pleads enthusiastically. “Pleaseeeeeeee? Please please please?”
You lean your head into his shoulder, giggling like an idiot.
“Soonyoung, you are truly one of a kind.”
He gently grabs your chin, tilting your head up until you are eye to eye. His nose presses into yours.
“Is that a yes?”
You smile as you kiss him.
“Yes, it’s a yes.”
He practically leaps off the couch, startling you. He grabs your hand, pulling you up and directing you toward his bedroom.
“Wait,” he says as he pauses. He looks at you very seriously.
“My room or yours?”
“Don’t care,” you respond eagerly.
He grins. “Yours, then.”
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tearsofcalamity · 2 days
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Please more sub!Boothill that reader fingering his hole behind his back
oh I got you
mechanic!reader would so make that spot an ero zone, like let's be fr we'd all make that the most sensitive spot on his body when fixing up his touch receptors and such (perhaps only second to his actual cock but yk)
boothill lying face down on the examination table for a regular maintenance checkup when you're poking around where you shouldn't be and he's already starting to get squirmy. you know what you're doing and he knows you know what you're doing and he's already trying to lean up to put a stop to it.
"d-darlin', that part don't need any fixin'--"
push him down til he gasps and shove your fingers inside, rubbing around nice and slow on the inside. surely it doesn't go all the way in, there's an end point to it that when you manage to prod causes him to actually keen out loud from how sensitive and strange it feels, automatically putting a massive blush on his face as he tries to flip around to no avail. his limbs are all somehow weak from the touches and torment and he can't so much as push himself up.
maybe lick your fingers before sticking em in to give it some extra slide and draw more whiny noises out of boothill... go a little slower sometimes to watch how he kinda arches back into your touch even though he's insisting he doesn't need you to examine there any more...
you'd be so absorbed fucking into his hole with your fingers that by the time you regained your sense of awareness you'd notice how he's gripping onto the edge of the table for stability as he humps into it, cybernetic cock straining so hard it might burst his zipper open from how hard he's gotten, desperate little moans slipping from his lips as he just barely gets the friction he so dearly needs.
don't even get me started on fingering that hole of his while jerking him, rubbing at his sensitive head that you gave him all while sliding your fingers around and around his walls. I think he'd actually melt inside. like, full on system overload pass out in your arms after the first orgasm, emergency shutdown-style. and he'd be hopping mad at you as soon as he regained consciousness to hide the fact that he's never cum so hard in his life and he'd really, really like you to do it again -- more than he'll ever admit.
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miaisocool · 1 day
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Johanna (Part 2)
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Pairing: CollegeWanda x Collegereader
Summary - After drinking too much at a college party because of your feelings towards wanda it ends up in a mess!
Warnings: MINORS DNI 18+ Mentions of underage drinking, vomiting, angst, fluff, smut.
Note: Part two of Johanna! if you guys want a chapter three let me know! maybe i'll make one.
Word count: 6k
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Part one
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You slowly began to regain consciousness as the after effects of drinking got to you, the dull throb aching each vein in your head as you tried to recompose yourself by slowly lifting your head and make up of where you were, the twinge of embarrassment from passing out in front of everyone was also starting to eat you alive, you felt sluggish and weak your body was in a limp state almost as if you were having sleeping paralysis. You slowly opened your eyes to a blurry vision of nothing but random orbs of light as if your body was finally being carried to heaven and that wandas kiss was the blessing that was delivered from the god above.
You were still trying to make sense of where you were the bright lights assaulting at your sensitive pupils you had to squint despite how awful your vision was right now still trying to figure out where you were. There was also a few sounds of inconsistent mumbling that you tried to figure out although another one of your six senses were still fucked up, your hearing. You couldn't help but make out mumbling of a womans voice talking rapidly non stop although there was ringing in your ears there was still a few sentences of concern you could make out from the womans voice like:
"Is she gonna be okay?"
"what if she doesn't wake up"
"i don't know what to do"
They sounded like whines of dread and sadness coming from the mysterious womans voice you couldn't help but wonder who it was. Although you had a throbbing migraine there was also another pair of sentences you could make out but this time it came from a mans voice as you made sense of it, it sounded like:
"She'll be fine"
"Just please calm down"
He was like the reassurance to the womens voice of concern makinf the situation less tense. The dialogue coming from these two mysterious voices was either the alcohol playing mind tricks on you as you didn't even know or remembered how much you drank although you knew it was a lot, or what you drank. You just grabbed bottles of whatever you could find and chugged straight away. Eventually the back and forth sentences started to take more of a physical than mental toll on you as each word that was spoken, you also wanted to mumble out a few words that would come out your throat but there was a heavier feeling than that like something weighing on you, something making your throat clench trying to get to surface level despite your effort to swallow it down. You were powerless you couldn't do anything much longer you heard a object of some sort being placed somewhere near you, right beside where you were about to vomit immediately as you hear that your body convulses and starts to let out everything from your system, whatever you had to drink or eat was ending up in that container.
Your stomach rebels against everything, It's a violent expulsion, leaving you gasping for breath and trembling with the effort, your eyes so watery worsening your vision, the taste of bile burning your throat this continues to go on for a minute at least but soon you start to panic, your chest rising up and down coming in shallow breaths, your heart pounding out of your ribcage, you weren't used to vomiting but when you did you dreaded the moment it would come. But soon you start to come down from your panic as you felt slender fingers start to brush through your hair sending waves of goosebumps all throughout your body as the persons hand made way to your scalp giving you light, sweet caresses, you just wanted to fall asleep right then and there
"its okay.. im here.."
The voice softly cooed to you you hadn't bothered to open your eyes until you realized it was wanda all the memories of what happened before you passed out last night started coming back to you in flashes.
Her kissing vision, she was always mistreated by him and always ran to you when something went wrong or a if a fight broke out between the two. Of course you despised the thought of him, you wanted to be him, you wanted to hold the place of being someone that belongs to wanda. you knew you were the right one for her, but she didn't want you. it made you frown, you wanted to fight against the tears that were starting to build up in your eyes. Wanting to relieve the heart ache of this nature with self pleasure with the thoughts of wanda or thoughts of just going into her arms and being comforted by her smell, like cherries, cinnamon and vanilla. Or her voice that was oh so soft spoken like music to your ears, you smiled ear to ear everytime she spoke a word to you. Most of the time you didn’t listen as you were too busy having dreams of being with her. But you soon snapped yourself out of it as you realized all you have for now is her presence and that's the most you can cherish in this moment. The sight of wanda letting her guard down around you painted a smile on your face and gave you a warm feeling as she continued to coo softly to you calming you down after your panic attack you try to mutter out a few words as you came down from your trance.
"wanda.."
As you spoke her name she propped your head up sliding a pillow underneath your head somewhat assisting you in gaining conscience as you took in what was going on and where you were.
"Im so sorry.."
"i didn't mean to worry you."
You whispered your voice barely above a breath.
Her eyes softened as she met your worried gaze she continued to brush her fingers through your hair as you laid your head onto the pillow she immediately shook her head as she took in your apology
"hey.. don't apologize alright? you have nothing to be sorry for.."
Her fingers continued to trace patterns from your scalp over to your cheek. She softly caressed it washing the tension from your muscles that you were carrying since last night. You felt vulnerable and exposed to her, like her touch was a spell for whatever emotions you went through in the past 24 hours she was the remedy or your guardian angel in a way. A small smile tugged at the corner you finally let your guard down and stopped trying to put on the tough act around her, you believed her, in her presence you felt cared for, understood and not alone.
There were some tears that you were trying to fight as the remnants of your panic attack slowly faded away each swipe of wandas thumb against your cheek fighting against that, easing your anxiety.
"I dont know what came over me..."
You choked up again. There were a few tears that were bound to escape as you spoke.
Wanda's expression remained understanding, her eyes filled with empathy her pupils were slightly dilated or were you looking too much into it?
"i promise you its okay.. please Y/n i hate seeing you like this."
she reassured you, her voice steady and calming. You loved seeing her like this, she would always be patient with you no matter what, well sometimes, it's not like you guys were perfect. Of course there were a few arguments here and there but that never took her away from you.
You hugged her burying your nose into her hair taking in her scent, her skin, the way her arms fit around you like a puzzle piece almost if you guys were made for each other she smelt like cherries, cinnamon and vanilla, again she was a blessing in disguise everything you ever wanted.
It was a bitter sweet moment at first until clint walked in and spoke up disrupting the moment of love between you and wanda
"hey, im gonna take y/n to her apartment.. so i'll just.."
Clint awkwardly walked towards the kitchen counter grabbing his keys from the heart shaped clay ash tray, it brought you memories from when you and wanda hung out for the first time. Wanda decided it was a good idea if you guys went clay sculpting as a "cute date idea" you warned her beforehand that you weren’t a artist and that creative when it came to things that involved art. She also warned you beforehand that she was in the same position as you. So when it was time for her to reveal her clay sculpture to you, you were amazed and teased her about being so talented, which she was, she was oddly good at everything and anything. was it her charming personality? or was it cause you loved her?
You removed yourself from wandas arms noticing her grasp gave you a sense of longing her hands stayed on longer than yours did. Her eyes didn't open to clints voice but only opened to when she felt your weight shift away from hers you could see a sense of disappointment in her body language but you quickly brushed it off as if it was nothing but you knew it was something.
"Call me when you get home safe alright?"
The words coming from wandas mouth made you smile really hard but you held back only smiling a bit to act all cold towards her and put on a front as if you weren't in love with her. But then clint immediately drifted to the front door then he made his way to his car opening first the passenger side because he knew you were still coming down from your hangover he walked over to the drivers side and started up his car waiting for you to get in.
You decided to speak up and finally give wanda a sentence of reassurance instead of leaving her high and dry or just leaving her with the thoughts that were consuming her alive since last night.
"Yeah i will."
Even your tone was cold. You knew what was coming you were mentally preparing for it, you were already distancing yourself from wanda you couldn't take it anymore, was it her fault? no, of course not, she was very dear to you. It was just some stupid feelings you had for her, it wasn't your fault either. If you could ever pick a person to be in love with for the rest of your life it wouldn’t be wanda. It hurt you too much, seeing her with vision one day and then cradling into her arms the next? no it was too much for you. You hated it and just couldn't take it anymore.
For the next few weeks on campus you started avoiding wanda. The messages she would casually send to you daily were starting to turn in messages that were sent once in a while.. maybe once a week at best! you left her with nothing but read receipts either that or you turned it off after a while but she wasn't stupid she knew she wasn't getting left on delivered, You were even starting to take different routes to your classes so you could avoid meeting her or her gaze that you once longed for. Whenever she was brought up in conversation with shared friends you kinda didn't talk at all until the topic was switched. Obviously it caused you heart ache as you forced yourself to distance away from her. You started crying yourself to sleep some nights or soothing yourself the way wanda once soothed you. You couldn’t escape the void of lonelinesses that was once filled by wanda but not anymore because you wanted to distance and “protect your feelings” from her.
You knew things were getting bad when your mental breakdowns started consuming you, it felt like your mind was drowning in a sea of vulnerability and a deep depression that would never go away. In those moments you often found yourself imagining what would it be like if wanda was there with you. She would take you in a warm embrace like a guardian angel fighting against the problems in your head, her soothing voice where she would whisper your name over and over mixed in with words of affirmations or some reassurances telling you that everything was gonna be okay. You depended on her like a lifeline it made you grounded and gave you strength to hold on just for her. You hated that you had to deal with this because of a sore decision you had too make.
At least two months had passed since the incident with wanda, and you kept avoiding her. Initially, it hurt to see how much she tried to keep in contact, calling, texting, even showing up at places she knew you’d be. But eventually, she got the memo as you distanced yourself more and more. You convinced yourself that your feelings for her were gone, though deep down, a part of you knew that wasn't the truth. As the days turned into weeks, the love you once had for Wanda faded, and you no longer saw her as a friend, just a stranger. Did it hurt? Not anymore. You had become cold, and shutting her out seemed like the best decision for your peace of mind. Or at least, that’s what you wanted to believe.
The following day you found yourself at a party it sort of gave you flashbacks to when you saw wanda, how beautiful she was dancing in the flashing lights, everyone else was blocked out from your sight, your bodies pressed against each others as she filled your ears with her beautiful moans, your lips brushing against her neck as you kissed it, her arms wrapped around your neck trying to get more of you, your arms wrapped around her waist as she assisted you what body part to kiss, her neck, her chest. You quickly drank away the memories as you poured another shot of rum quickly drowning your system in alcohol, it was becoming a coping mechanism for you, imagining wanda. but she wasn't there, drinking copious amounts of alcohol it was ruining you physically and mentally. Wanda and Vision had been dating for at least three, maybe four months now? you couldn't keep track since they were so on and off. You hoped that Wanda wouldn't be at this party because you knew if you saw her, she’d want answers about why you had been so distant and you would just give her a quick apology and storm off. The lights were flashing over the crowd and over your face blurring out anyone there except clint because he was always right by your side taking care of you making sure you didn't turn into a drunken mess like last time. The faint smell of weed and cigarettes filling the air around you, making you slightly cough.
You pushed your way throughout the crowd to get away from the packed crowd of people but as you were shoving your way through them with multiple apologies your eye couldn't help but catch a glimpse of vision and wanda together you slowly realized that wanda was here, and she wasn't alone. Vision stood beside her, his arm casually draped over her shoulders. They looked comfortable together, laughing and talking as if they were a perfect couple but you knew deep down that they weren't. A tightened feeling quickly made its way to your throat as you saw vision lay his lips upon wandas. Did she belong to you? no, of course not, but you were once there before. It deeply hurt you. It hurt you to the point where you needed to let your emotions out so you dragged your presence away from clint and made your way outside. As you dragged yourself with tears in your eyes blurring everything from your sight you felt a familiar shoulder rub against yours as you walked away. It was her, It was wanda, you recognized the familiarity from when you guys would cradle into each others arms.
You quickly turned away, hoping that Wanda hadn’t noticed you. But it was too late. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw her glance in your direction, her eyes widening in recognition and her pupils dilating in limerence. The look on her face told you everything: she had seen you, and she wasn't going to let this go. She once longed for you and needed a answer now. Of course you also missed her, she was a part of you, the thought of her consumed you, YOU LOVE HER, YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER but you hate that you are because, it's ruining your life.
You made your way outside as you quickly took your phone out of your pocket to order a uber until-
"Y/n."
You almost dropped your phone out of your hand as you met her cold gaze that was once sweet to you but you knew that all hell was about to break loose. Her voice was firm. Too firm.
"y/n please talk to me."
"wanda this isn't the time or place." You quickly shut her out. She was trying to get to you but you didn't want that because of your selfish ways.
“Then when?” she demanded, her eyes searching yours. Her eyes were searching for at least a hint or feeling that showed you cared “You avoid me for months and can't give me a fucking answer?" There she was again, she knew you hated confrontation but this was the best way she was gonna get to you.
"Im going home." You said firmly looking at your shoes kicking against the cold concrete as you started to step away until she took your arm into her grasp
"You're not leaving me again. Im getting you a uber." This wasn't reassurance from wanda that everything was fine but it was a simple confrontational talk of hers.
While in the uber your gaze lingered out the window as you breathed in wandas comforting scent until you turned your head to finally break the silence
"You know, im really happy for you."
"yeah?"
"Yeah i mean, your in a relationship, he's a good looking guy i'm very happy for you two"
The words felt forced you looked at your hands until you heard the sound of wanda chuckling a bit at your compliment, she knew it was false, you hated vision, she knew you were trying to put on a front to hide a feeling.
Wanda got out of the uber first immediately running to your side and opening the door for you, you smiled at her as she wrapped her arm around your waist walking into your apartment complex.
"Keys?"
Your mind was foggy from Wanda's presence, but you managed to gather yourself enough to hand her your keys. She unlocked the door to your apartment and gently helped you onto the couch.
You lay there for a while, hearing the sounds of her moving around the kitchen. Glasses clinked against the marble counter, ice cubes dropped into a glass, and water poured. Her footsteps grew louder as she walked back towards you.
"Up," she instructed softly.
You smiled at how gentle wanda was being, it brought you back memories of the months before the incident with you and wanda. She gently assisted you into a sitting position, knowing you felt a bit sick. Her hands were firm but comforting as she propped you up, ensuring you were more comfortable and less likely to feel nauseous.
Sitting beside you, she propped herself up, her posture relaxed yet attentive. Her presence offered you a peace of mind. With a gentle yet steady hand, she held the glass steady for you, her fingers lightly supporting its weight as you took small sips.
As you drank, you couldn't help but notice the softness of her expression, the concern noticeable in her eyes. It was moments like these that reminded you of what once was of your connection, she searched for a hint of longing in your eyes, a hint of anything that would tell her that you're emotionally available.
"You're avoiding me"
Wanda's voice cut through the silence like a knife, her words soft but laden with a profound sense of hurt and frustration. The words hung heavy in the air like a accusation as you looked at her
"It was a accident."
you lied, the words left a bitter taste in your mouth as you looked at her. you knew the truth—you were avoiding her—but admitting it felt like facing the inevitable collapse of the friendship you have with her or once had.
"You can't accidentally avoid me."
Wandas words started striking at you like venom, you could feel the weight of her words pressing down on you, a crushing weight that threatened to suffocate you.
"you really wanna know why im avoiding you wanda?"
You finally lashed out at her, you decided that this was the best time to pour out all your feelings to her, it was like word vomit you couldn't control or take back the words that were about to come out your mouth.
"i fucking hate seeing you with him wanda."
Tears were staring to slightly spill out your eyes with each word weighing down your chest making you choke on your words the more you spoke her gaze softened at your vulnerability.
"As long as you're happy that's all that matters.."
Wanda's gaze softened, her eyes searching yours for something you couldn't quite name. "Are you?" she asked quietly, her voice barely a whisper.
The question hung in the air between you, heavy with unspoken emotion. It was as if she could sense the sadness within you, the conflicting emotions that threatened to consume you whole. And in that moment, as you looked into her eyes, you knew that you couldn't keep hiding behind a facade of false happiness.
"No... of course I'm not," you confessed, your voice tinged with a rawness that echoed the ache in your heart. "Seeing you with Vision, it hurts me to my core. Sometimes I find myself sitting there, praying that I could just stop loving you altogether."
Wanda's expression softened, her eyes reflecting a mixture of sympathy and understanding. Without a word, she reached out, her hand finding yours in a gentle embrace she tried to take you into her arms but you fought back as you cried more almost having a mental breakdown but you soon let down your guard and let her wrap her arms around you.
This goes on for a minute or two until she pulls you back to look into your eyes and finally see the emotion that she was searching for, for months she just wanted to see that emotion in your eyes that showed a hint of love towards her.
"i love you.. okay? no one could ever change the love i have for you y/n."
Wanda wasn't perfect either of course the kisses, hugs, touch you shared with her, they lingered in her mind, a constant reminder of what once was, and what could have been. She always longed for you, even in the moments when she tried to convince herself otherwise.
"I don’t think I’ll ever love someone as much as i loved you.."
"You're my person y/n."
She looked into your eyes, her gaze raw and vulnerable, revealing the depth of her emotions. You looked back into hers you started to put your guard down as she grasped you in her arms.
You pulled away slightly to make room to see her whole face, she had a demeanor that showed she was longing for something, she was longing for you, for her lips on yours. The words start to spill from your mouth like vomit.
"I love you."
Wandas restraint finally breaks and she hungrily pushes her lips onto yours practically devouring you, you were so weak you let her take control of the kiss for a while until you return the kiss and press into her almost as if your bodies were morphing together but then after a while you give up. She was soft, like the girl you’ve always known wrapping her arms around you to support the weight she was pushing onto you in a hungry desire, she held onto you like she cares. You hold back a bit as you try to prop up onto her lap you struggle a bit but, she finally gives in and assists you by grabbing your waist gently and laying you onto her lap, you started to moan her name over and over some whines here and there, you placed a knee between her thigh you pulled away again as you cupped her face in a bitter sweet moment.
"is this okay?"
She nodded as she looked at you her eyes darkened but not by lust by the love that she always carried for you, as you propped yourself up on her thigh, you started to grind down into her, your core started to slightly weep onto your underwear almost enough to seep through the pants you had on.
"i love you.. so much wanda.."
You moaned out her name very softly. You were breathless almost it felt like your heart was a ticking time bomb that was about to explode any minute, it felt like a dream, you couldn't believe what was happening.
She smiled almost stupidly as she felt you grinding down against her thigh, with every thrust she was in a trance, she couldn't help but assist your movements with her hands placed upon your waist controlling your speed and motion, they soon made their way inside of your shirt as she fondled with your chests making you whimper a bit more.
You could taste all of her, the scent of cherries, wine and vanilla that always kept you longing even more for her was blessing the aroma of your apartment.
Your hands roamed her body, feeling the heat of her skin through her clothes, while her fingers tangled in your hair, pulling you even closer. She deepened her tongue into yours the faster you moved, the more urgent the desire became, building to a climax that left you both gasping for air. Your heart pounded in your chest, matching the rapid pace of your movements as you edged closer and closer. looking into her eyes you couldn't believe you were having this moment with someone you loved for so long. She slowly pulled your body weight off of her, her hand making its way towards the zipper of your pants as she looked at you for assurance to keep going.
As you looked at her gaze, you communicated with her without speaking a single word, your face softened as you took in the warmth of wandas presence you felt your chest flutter as you nodded then her hand slipped into your waistband slowly inserting her two cold fingers into your warm, wet core you slightly hissed at the feeling until you slowly sunk yourself deeper onto her fingers grinding a bit faster. She smiled at you again as she noticed your desperate movements it made her desire for you skyrocket, you finally let out a heavy exhale as you were holding your breath for so long from being so tense from the situation as she looked into your eyes while softly running her fingers through your hair helping a wave of comfort come over you as she pressed her lips against your forehead while pumping her fingers into your core as you breathed heavily before plastering and peppering her faces with kisses. Your movement was somewhat weak from the spell that wanda was putting you under almost as if she was a witch.. maybe a love witch.
"im sorry if it's bad-"
You immediately cut her off with pressing a kiss to her you felt her smile come onto your lips while you pressed against hers making her melt like ice cream.
"nonono- it... it feels so good wanda."
You said almost breathlessly as you smiled and assured her. This gave her more confidence as she started to speed up her movements not in a rough way, but in a way that lovers made love to each other. She felt her wrist start to cramp up a bit so she started using her thumb to draw circles over your clit as you threw your head back giving her mouth enough space to place kisses onto your neck leaving you with marks that were going to be very visible the next morning. More whimpers started to escape your mouth as you almost felt her knuckles go slightly deeper when you plunged your body weight lower onto her hand slightly giving you a sense of overstimulation.
"you feel so good y/n.."
You finally snapped out of your trance still having wandas fingers pump your clit not too aggressively but not too soft but just enough to go at a regular pace you couldn't help but feel a bit of shock as her pupils dilated even more with each thrust she sent to your core she was looking at you as if you were a god, holding you to the highest power or maybe to her this was what heaven looked like.
"im going to..-"
Finally a tight feeling in your stomach started to take over you as much as you tried to hold back for wandas pleasure you couldn't help but be selfish and let your own desire take over. As soon as she heard those words she started pumping her fingers at a faster pace making you slump into her arms even more causing her to wrap a arm around your waist as she lifted your shirt up with the swift movement of her mouth and started sucking on your breasts mumbling a few sentences over and over like:
"You're so perfect."
"I love you.."
In the moment you didn't mind if those words weren't true but you knew later on you would beg to know whether or not the statements that spewed from her mouth were true.
You finally reached your climax as you felt your throat tighten your words were incoherent as they were muffled by your moans of wandas name over and over, your breasts being latched on by wandas mouth causing a wet sensation all over your body, your fingers tangled up in her hair causing a mess, and your core felt empty as she pulled her fingers away from your throbbing core, you noticed the mess you made over wandas hand slowly dripping to her elbow you couldn't help but hide yourself as you nuzzled into her neck. Wanda immediately protested this, she pulled your head back to give you a clear view on how much you meant to her, she slowly brought her fingers to her mouth until you grabbed her wrist trying to fight her from doing the act that would drive her away from you but she pulled away from your grasp and immediately licked her fingers clean as she stared into your eyes with love filled in them. You were shocked from the sight as no had ever been so kind to you something that was yours was in her mouth, more hers than yours now.
Again, she pressed her lips forcefully against you, making you taste the mix of your juices and her lips mixing a feeling of love within you, You pulled away as you tried to catch your breath coming down from your high you were about to close your eyes until you felt her pick your sore body up from the couch and moving it to your bedroom providing more comfort for you both as you laid next to her you couldn't help but smile at the image that you dreamed about for months, it finally came true and that's all you needed.
She let out a slightly shaky breath, her chest rising and falling in a tender rhythm the same way your chest was also rising and falling down while you were still coming down from your high. Her fingers, warm and soft, gently caressed your cheek, tracing delicate patterns as if she was trying to remember the outline of your face. Each stroke was a silent testament to her feelings.
Her pupils dilated with adoration, and you couldn't help but smile from ear to ear at her touch. Yet, despite the bliss of the moment, the intrusive thoughts started to gnaw at you. Desperate to push those thoughts away, you spoke up, your voice barely a whisper.
"You're gonna regret this wanda.. i know after this.. tomorrow morning you'll just go back to being with vision.."
The words slipped out with your breath, and as soon as they did, you wished you could take them back. You watched helplessly as her expression shifted from one of pure love to a sadness that brought tears to your eyes. Regret washed over you.
"Why would you say that?" she asked softly, her voice trembling. Her eyes, which moments ago had been filled with love and adoration, now shimmered with unshed tears. Her brows knitted together in a mix of confusion and hurt, the corners of her mouth trembling as she tried to understand your words. "Why would you think I'd ever do that?"
You looked down, unable to meet her sad gaze, feeling the weight of her emotions pressing down on you with guilt lingering on your tongue. You could almost feel the ache in her heart, the way her hope had faltered in the face of your doubt, you regretted every word you said.
"I- i dont know-"
She took a shaky breath, her hand reaching out to touch your cheek once more, as if seeking reassurance. "Do you really think im that type of person?" she asked, her voice breaking slightly. "That you believe I would ever regret loving you? shit, even making love to you?"
Her words hit you causing you to be a emotional train wreck as the tears that were lightly shedding started to pour out of your eyes as you sobbed reaching for her grasp in a moment of comfort wanting to just run away. The vulnerability of her words really showed you how much wanda cared about you, she was willing to fight for what she believed in, and that made you love her even more.
"I just dont wanna get hurt" You confessed, it wasn't wandas fault that you felt this way but from your past you were so used to partners abandoning you at your lowest and you even begged them to stay, you hated seeing yourself so miserable so when it was time for your college years you started to rely on meaningless hookups for a sense of something but it never brought you anything.
She wiped your tears as she brought you into her arms carefully taking in your scent and ruffling her fingers through your hair to send comfort to you as she shushed you, knowing the more you talked the more you were willing to cry.
"I would never do that to you."
"I think loving you.."
A beat, she sighed for a second catching her breath as she almost started to break down again from the sight of you crying.
"I think loving you was the best decision i made in my life, don't ever let your thoughts consume you like that again okay?"
Her unwavering love, the sheer depth of it all, filled you with a mix of hope and slight regret. You nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in your throat.
"I'm sorry it was just a stupid thought" You chuckled rubbing your eyes as they slightly burned from how much tears you poured out tonight you were slightly embarrassed but you didn't mind since you had wanda there for you.
She pulled you away from her slightly so she can make sure you take in her words with bittersweet promises and love.
"Don't ever push me away again.."
"I love you."
You smiled at her words, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. She leaned in, her lips meeting yours in a soft, tender kiss. you seemed to melt away in her presence as she gently laid you down again, her arm wrapping securely around your stomach. She snuggled up to your body soothing all your worries.
Your eyelids started to grow heavy, and everything around you began to come into a blur. Yet, just before you surrendered to wandas comforting embrace, you managed to gain a bit of consciousness. With a sleepy smile, you mumbled back to her, your voice soft and filled with love.
"I love you too.."
Each touch of hers was a silent declaration that she was willing to stay with you no matter what. Finally lulling you asleep.
146 notes · View notes
spookypete-94 · 2 days
Text
Difficult Gratitude
GhoapxFem!Reader
Story I've had in my head for awhile now, and just needed to press it out finally.
Reader is female medic. Takes place during the mission of Soap getting shot. Implied established relationship between Soap and Ghost already. Reader very good friends with Soap, and Ghost still learning how to accept it. More then likely medical inaccuracies. Its fan-fiction after all. Will be a longer read, I didn't want to split it into a series (since in the process of writing one already) so strap yourself in. Trigger warning for smut towards the end. Language used as well. I started this about 345 this afternoon and just finished right around 10 pm, so I hope you like it lol..
MNDI!
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Blood. Working with it every day made it seem not as grotesque to you as it used to be. The mass amount of it surrounding Johnny however, made your heart stop and breath hitch. He was lying in a large pool of it. You could smell the iron and wasn't even on top of it yet. Even with your nervous system short circuiting, your legs carried you as fast as you could to him. Sent with a different group of soldiers and TAC agents, you were kicking yourself in the ass for not urging Price for you to go with him and Johnny.
Kneeling over you saw a gunshot wound to his temple.
"Fuck," you hissed out pulling on the straps of his vest trying to get it off.
"He's gone." Ghost grumbled next to, as he had already been kneeling over Johnny. Ignoring him, you continued, laying your head on his chest trying to hear a familiar thump-thump.
Nothing.
You began to cut his t-shirt pulling an A-Fib out of your bag.
"He's gone." Ghost said louder, next to trying to swat your hands away.
"I have to know I fuckin' tried." You snarled up at him matching his tone. Your eyes narrowed and teeth still bared at him. Fully looking feral.
The reaction from you makes Ghost scoot back, allowing you to do as you wished. Sure, you had worked with them for years now, but you've always been cheery and sweet. Sickeningly sweet, Ghost had thought. You wouldn't say you were close with Ghost, but Soap had always tried to make sure you knew you mattered to him. Out of all the unfortunate work you had to do, he was the beacon of light out of it all.
Ghost sat back, looking at Price who had approached finally. As the AED went to work, shocking Soap every so often after your set of chest compressions. Taking the time to start wrapping his head wound while it would scan him again before sending another shocking volt. Ghost finally looked up to Price, a silent plea to make it all stop. He couldn't handle watching his lover's body jolt one more time on the ground. After about 5 minutes total, you felt arms pick you up around the shoulders dragging you away.
"Thatsa' enough," Price grumbled into your ear.
"No!" you yelled, arms and legs flailing. "'M not done yet!"
"You've done all you can." He said arms on your shoulders as you put you back on the ground still holding you back. Looking at you like a father would after they had lost their beloved pet. Your eyes searched Price's as they welled with hot tears. The silence was broken however, as the AED machine made a beeping noise still connected to Soap... A faint noise and a line matched a heartbeat being read.
Pushing Price out of the way, you grumbled to him, a voice now full of gravel as you fought back the tears. "Call for a fuckin' bird." Kneeling back next to Soap, you could feel eyes burning into you. Refusing to look up you knew they belonged to Ghost. But you would be damned to meet him as you prepped Soap to be able to fly. Pulling an IV and a blood bag, you started hooking them in, all while watching the faint green line praying the cadence continued.
**********************************************
The flight back was rocky at best. You stayed with Soap, other paramedics now with you helping in all the ways they could. Task Force 141 not too far off as they watched their struggling brother.
A curtain was drawn splitting them off as a vent was used. Your worry came true as you watched the green line grow fainter.
"Losing him," someone said as they began to bag his airway until the vent was ready. You stood next to him at the side ready to start compressions again if needed, until another strong arm pulled you away again.
"Let them, you've done plenty." Gaz said soothingly trying to hold you to his side.
"I'm so fuckin' tired of you guys," you snapped fighting back once more.
"As your Captain you need to step back. Your nerves are shot. Compressions have taken it out of you." Price said pulling you back further away while on the bird. "Sit your ass down." Forcefully he pushed you down as he ran the belts to contain you in your seat. "I know this is hard for you, but you need ta' remember this is hard on all o' us righ' now. The entire medical team is back there, sit your fuckin' ass down." Accent getting thicker as he commanded you to sit still, all while trying to control his anger at your behavior.
And you couldn't help it. You slouched forward on your knees as the tears finally spilled over. "He's my best friend. The best one out of all of you." You said, your tone wanting to inflict pain back at them for pulling you off the resuscitation team. And the part that made you feel guilty was that none of them argued because they couldn't.
"He is," Price said agreeing with you, kneeling at your level, brushing your hair to the side of your face before doing the same motion again. "What will be will be now... You've done more then enough." You held your face in your hands, keeping the sobs at bay, refusing to fall all the way apart at the seams.
Ghost standing back and watching it all, heart in his throat feeling as if it was going to leap out his mouth and to his feet the entire time. Unable to say or do anything.
**********************************************
Everything else was a blur once landed. Peeking through your fingers, you watched as Soap was rolled out on the gurney. Ghost not too far away in tow, following the man he loved be rolled away towards the surgery room. Price unbuckled you once they were fully out and in the building. Was he worried you were going to chase after? If he hadn’t forced you to sit and calm down, you'd of been the one rolling the bed itself.
Seeing Gaz's hand reach out you to take it, standing up and letting him pull you into a hug.
"Proud of you." He said squeezing you, thankful you had fought back against Ghost and Price to save his friend.
Finally, you broke off the hug, heading towards the building and the surgical bay. Your footsteps felt heavy, but honestly you walked so quietly. Like if you made a singular noise, God would find you strike you down with lighting for fighting off the Reaper who was supposed to take your friend.
Having to take this walk many times with other patients you knew where to go. And to no shock to you, Ghost sat in the same hallway outside of the surgical bay already. Picking a seat across from him, you sat down and interlocked your fingers together and placed your head within it again. It pounded and hurt, fatigue finally settling in after your adrenaline rush.
Feeling the same sensation of the eyes burning holes into you again, but you refused to look up.
Ghost sat there in turmoil. He wanted to say something, to say anything. His tongue too heavy, as if it was made with the same lead that had struck Soap. Instead, he sat across from you, and searched you for any sort of emotion. Is that sleeping feral beast still in you? Would you snap at him again for trying to stop you? Or was that sickeningly sweet girl back...
Gaz and Price, both joined you both not too long after that. Both quiet.
Your knee now bounced with anxiety.
**********************************************
Somehow you had fallen asleep, head rolled back and leaned onto the edge of the chair. Blaming it on the adrenaline dump, you would never have been able to fall asleep in such an uncomfortable position and piece of furniture if you could call it that.
A light squeeze of your knee from Price as the OR DR. came walking through the doors to speak with you all.
"Bullets out and breathing with a vent for the time being." Ears perking up as he told you all. You shifted up higher in your seat, ready to pay full attention and ask questions where needed.
"Is he awake?"
"No, he will be in a medical induced coma for a bit until swelling goes down in his brain. Sleep will be the best method right now, and better pain management."
"Do we have a recovery window?"
A silent shake of his head, "No I'm sorry miss, this was an extremely evasive surgery and time will only tell with this."
"Can we see him?" Ghost asked, standing up ready to follow.
"Yes, you can see him. He won't be able to acknowledge you are there, but part of him will know."
The Dr. turned back to you, arm now on your shoulder.
"You should be proud of yourself. Your efforts are what saved him. No doubt a medal should be given in your honor."
The last statement inflicting rage. "You think I did this for a fucking medal??"
Oh, the feral beast in you was definitely sleeping and not dead. Ghost thought, as Price stepped in-between and you and the Dr. blocking your path from mauling the medical professional.
"Thank you, Dr., We will find him back there." Words rushed as he tried to send the Dr. on his way.
Gaz and Ghost slipped past the doors, waiting on the other side as Price tried to have a calming conversation with you.
"You gotta' keep it together. He just saved Soap." He said trying to comfort that angry monster lashing at its enclosure.
"Did you hear him?? I would give anything for Soap to be bullet free. Didn't do this for honor, I did it because he’s, my friend." you hissed back to Price in an angry whisper.
"I know, I know. Was something a muppet would say, but try to keep it intact yeah? I know what you mean and why you're angry, but none of us thought we would even get this far."
And how you wanted to correct him, none of them thought you would get this far, but you bit your tongue. No need to be spiteful. Soap was still on this side of the earth.
Walking in and seeing Soap in this condition was almost as hard as seeing him in his own blood. His head was fully shaved down, proud mohawk gone. Face was so pale from the loss of blood, but his chest raising and lowering even if it wasn't directly on his own will, made you feel at ease.
All picking a corner of the bed, and pulling up a chair, you sat up at Soap's upper left. You scanned his face for anything but knew that wouldn't come for a while. It stayed like this for a while before Gaz spoke up.
"Remember that time he broke the course record for clearing a building?"
"Was thinking about the time he did it and accidentally stepped in a small trash can and continued with it stuck to his foot." Answered Price laughing lightly, pulling his hat down over his eyes. You all knew he was hiding the descending tears.
"How he always calls us "Goat Heads", across the radio." You said lightly laughing, wiping your face. It was a stupid joke used in the place for "Go Ahead" meaning go with you radio traffic.
"The time he told me he could fix my problems if I took my mask off. How I knew I liked him." Ghost said, his hand running back and forth across Johnny's tenderly. You blinked looking away from the action, feeling as though you should never see something so delicate come from both men.
It continued like this for a while, telling small things that you remembered about Soap that had struck you. Until it was finally late in the night. You rubbed your eyes that were sore and raw from emotions that had racked up throughout the day, almost into the next.
"We should get some sleep. Ghost, I'll have them bring in a cot for you." Price said getting up extending his hand for you to take. Not wanting to be rude you took it, letting him pull you up. You gave Johnny a slight rub to his shoulder. Ghost might have been up and staring at you intimidatingly at you had it not been for the new fresh salty tears that pin pricked your eyes again.
"Night," you finally muttered to them all before stepping out and heading to your room. Your heart panged and beat against its cage. Once in your room, you stripped of your blood covered clothes and lay on the bed, turning and wailing into a pillow. You needed Soap to pull through.
**********************************************
Every day you took the time to visit Soap. Spending hours upon hours there with him. Taking in a radio so he could listen to his favorite music, sometimes rotating that to his favorite movies on a tablet. Ghost had come to figure out you knew a lot about Soap. It made him wonder how close you really are, if anything causing a spark of jealousy.
Ghost was angry, wanted to tell you that Soap's quality of life was your fault. Wanted to tell you that because of you, who knew if he would wake up from this coma. The Dr. had advised that they had stopped giving the medication to make him sleep 2 days ago... and he still hadn't woken up. Oh, how he wanted to say it was your fault that he was lying in this bed, unable to speak and move... but the alternative of his Johnny laying in the ground 6 feet deep, still unable to speak or move factures his heart more, so he kept his mouth shut. Instead, he holds on the small piece of hope that eventually Soap will open his eyes again.
It was hard for Ghost. Day in and day out he had watched as you did Soap's physical therapy. Instead of being out in the field as a working medic, you stayed back as his primary nurse. No one argued with you. Not even when Price left to continue his hunt for Markarov. Price had benched Ghost and you worried your emotions would get the best of both of you. In fact, if Ghost would of said all of those mean, hurtful things about it being your fault Johnny was bed bound, Ghost wondered if the dragon in you would wake again. He hadn't seen it since that day but knew better to question its status of it still being there. It would burn him alive if given the opportunity, and devour him whole. Ghost could feel the anger seep off you sometimes and wondered if you were thinking back to that unfortunate, bloody day. Did you hate him?
He sat in the chair next to the bed watching and listening to you talk to his Johnny. Raising his arm up and down to stretch the muscles so when he did wake, they weren't as stiff.
"I miss you stealing my pudding off my food tray. Wouldn't complain if you swiped it ever again, would just give it to you."
What else would you give him? Ghost thought darkly. There was no doubt that Ghost thought you were in love with Soap. Listening to all the stories you had, sometimes your favorite ones over and over. Now you were over at his right arm, picking it up, setting it back down.
"Thought about the time you were trying to help me pick a dress for the military ball, and said I would never take fashion advice from someone with a mohawk..." You said a whispering laugh afterwards. Honestly that made Ghost smile as well, but he would never tell. Thank God for this mask. The thought washing over and over in his mind.
"Soap?" The way you had said it made Ghost perk up. Looking up finally seeing your face change. It was full of curiosity. Your eyes flashed to Ghost's locking with his telling him something was for sure up.
"Soap, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand again." Ghost watched as the shells to his blue eyes fluttered, trying to open.
"Oh my god, Ghost," you said quietly, extending Soap's hand to him to take.
He took it from you, quickly.
"Johnny?" And he felt it too. A slight squeeze. "Johnny," Ghost cooed to Soap, causing the hand to squeeze over and over. A rhythm. Squeezing Ghost's arm, you slipped past him, running out the door asking for Dr.
Finally, blue eyes faced the world and locked with brown ones.
"Mornin' Si." Johnny croaked out squeezing his hand even harder.
**********************************************
Soap's recovery was lengthy to describe at best. The Dr. finally learned the extent of the damage to Johnny's brain from the bullet. Thankfully, most of it was only physical. Soap had to relearn how to walk and only struggled with words periodically. Ghost would work with him on his speech therapy, and you helped him with his physical therapy still.
Soap was persistent spending 2 hours with you every day. Ghost sitting back and playing overwatch, he had to watch the 2 of you interact. Your sweetness fully back. He watched as Soap would place his hands on your hips goofily smiling as you would pull them off and place them on the bars instead of the railing so he could support himself- you know like he should be instead. Something had happened to his Soap. He would lean in and smell your hair affectionally. He never did that before. Ghost knew Johnny still had eyes for him, still loved him. It was one of the things Johnny made Ghost practice saying first. Somehow Ghost couldn't help but wonder if this injury had rewired his brain, or maybe because he had almost died, he wanted all the things he could have out of life. It still hurt him to watch.
Your anger with everyone had mostly died off once Johnny had woken up. Johnny was all the good things out of this job, he was what made it worth it. If he had died, a large piece of you would have been buried with him. Maybe that was your fault for not being as close as you should be with some of the others... putting Ghost into a different light for you now.
Giving it a shot, you asked Johnny about things about him and Ghost. A way to bond and a way to test his memory. Where was their first date, his favorite thing to do with Ghost. And every time, Johnny answered with calling him Simon. He never once called him Ghost because that's how Johnny knew him. In away Ghost got to learn about you, interacting with Johnny, and you got to learn about Ghost. Johnny told you were his best friend because you were fierce and protective. So was Ghost. You stood up for what you believed in... and guess what so did Ghost.
**********************************************
"Didya' hear tha news, bonnie?" Johnny asked looking down on you as you helped him to the rails. He could do it on his own, but it was your part in PT to make sure he got there and didn't fall down. Policy.
"No, what news?" Your voice is light, airy, still a stark contrast to Ghost who sat in a chair not too far off.
"Makaraov is bagged and tagged." He said proudly, grinning. "Price and his team got him yesterday afternoon.
"No kiddin'?" Your world spinning off its axis for a moment.
Johnny gave a slight nod, hands bracing your hips again and pulling you into him giving a hug. His head placed on top of yours.
"What a fucking relief," you punctuated out, sighing heavily. The urge to cry hit you again but you fought it off. Instead, finally locking with the brown coals of Ghost's across the room. The first time you felt like he wasn't trying to set you on fire with a glance.
"Cannae hurt us again." He said into your hair.
"Thank God." you said the hot droplets finally falling down your face.
It stayed like this for a moment before you took a step back, hands bracing Johnny while you looked up at him and over at Ghost.
"Got news for you both too." Ghost stood up and approached to better join the conversation.
"I bought a piece of land, bought a tiny house, and I'm stepping out."
"You're leavin'?" Ghost asked crossing his arms over his broad chest.
"I can't do this anymore..." you explained feeling like you were being torn apart underneath a microscope. "What happened to you Johnny, changed me. I don't think I can do the job anymore... I have nightmares still." you admitted. Ghost's body language softening, shoulders rolling down, hands resting next to Johnny's who still gripped the rail. He didn't even think of the mental affect that it had on you too. Another thing you unknowingly had in common.
"Ya' cannae leave..." Johnny said hurt in his voice.
"You still got me, can't get rid of me that easily. I'll stay in contact. And you're doing great, I'd say you'll be fully recovered in no time."
"I'm comin' with ya'. Visit for a bit until I'm fully released."
"Johnny..." your voice light.
"No, yer ma' nurse. Cannae leave me. Si?" He said looking over at Ghost. Johnny knew Ghost would give him the world and never say no.
"Would be nice ta' get outta here, until he's ready to go." Head turning back down to you.
You sighed. "Fine, way to invite yourself, Johnny." You teased, smiling and shaking your head.
The happy blue eyes and toothy grin was worth it... even if you felt like space was being forcefully invaded.
You are glancing over, entranced with Ghost's smoldering brown eyes next.
**********************************************
The piece of land you had bought was in the middle of nowhere. Surrounded by tall pine trees, a clear vessel of water cut through it. Mountains towered in the back, ironically 4 of them. You had named them Price, Gaz, Soap, and Ghost. Feeling like it fits all of them somehow. Even though you were stepping away from it all, it was comforting to know you had something like them with you still. The air was crisp and clean, something you have not had in so long. No smell of a medical room, no smell of tar and tang from firearms. No smell of blood.
It was a good change... peaceful. Something you needed. You arrived at your new home first, readying it for your 2 guests. You decided it was best to put them in the master bedroom. A king size bed for 2 large men. How ironic that you bought it for you, and it won't even be used for you on the first night you have access to it. Once that bed was dressed for them, you made the guest bed. Finding the joke funny you were a guest in your home. Honestly, you were excited to have this transition with someone sure... but you knew things were off with you and Ghost. But if Johnny was here it had to be ok. You would make it work.
They arrived before noon. You went out to assist, but Ghost stopped you at the front of the truck. He opened Johnny's door, standing there to help him if he needed it, but Johnny climbed down on his own and teetered out with a cane.
He grinned his notorious smile at you. Large white pearls, blue eyes squinting with glee.
"Look at you," you said proud of him.
"All on my own." he crooned.
Stepping inside, you showed them around your tiny house. Not a whole lot to show them but wanted them to see where they would be sleeping and where the bathroom was less. The bedrooms were on opposite sides of the house. Theirs to the right when they walked in and through the kitchen. Yours just to left.
"Pretty close to the door... and far from us." Ghost said in the direction to your room.
"Don't think anyone will be looking or finding us out here."
A light rumble leaving his chest as he looked back down at you. It made your stomach burn. What kind of noise is that?
"If she gets lonely, she can just come join us, Si." Johnny said over his shoulder peeking into your room.
It left you baffled. Sure, there was some touching from Johnny, but you had always brushed it off to how he was altered from his injury.
Your face looking from Johnny, back to Ghost. Staring back at you and not saying anything. Strange behavior.
"Your guy's room will be over here." You said, leading them through the kitchen and into the master.
"Nice size room for a tiny house," Ghost concluded looking around.
"Nice size bed for us too," Johnny said. Not wanting another weird comment, you stepped away for a bit. Grabbing 3 glasses and a pitcher of lemonade.
"Why did you get a tiny house?" Ghost asked, "All this land, coulda had a big ol’ house."
"Always just pictured it as me. Don't need a lot of space."
Again, Ghost stood leaning against the door frame realizing you were more alike than you thought. You plan on being alone... just like he had until he met Johnny.
You watched an arm of Johnny's sneak around Ghost's waist, and you once more diverted your eyes. Did physical touch really bother you all that much? He wondered.
**********************************************
The night eased its way in. You spent most of the day still trying to get settled into your new home. You all were outside now underneath the stary sky.
For dinner you grilled steaks with an assortment of vegetables and mashed potatoes.
"Bett'r cook then yer' a medic." Johnny said in-between bites. "An' 'ats sayin' sumthin."
"Don't talk with yer mouth full." Ghost scolded. He had taken off his mask earlier in the day. You had seen him without it before, but it was hard not to look at him. His angled jaw, a broken nose from who knows when or what, a scar that runs over his mouth... but he was beautiful to you. It was your turn to burn holes in him.
He knew you were looking at him but took a page out of your book refusing to meet your eyes, trying to let you feel comfortable with him... for Johnny's sake.
Johnny started talking to Ghost about what they could do during their visit, leaving you to get up and take the dishes inside. Stealing a moment for yourself, you ran hot water and washed the dishes. You heard the door open, but knowing it was one of them you continued.
It wasn't until a large hand brushed your hair to the side exposing your neck. That was what made you turn around to look but was stopped feeling 2 arms pin you against the sink before pushing you back into it, leaving you stationary. Lowering their head down to the side of yours watching your shirt get tugged to the side exposing a shoulder. A warm kiss graced your shoulder before their mouth came back up to the side of your ear.
"I've never thanked you for it all," Ghost's voice rumbled in your ear, making you look up and out the window seeing Johnny at the table looking up at the stars. Your heart jumped and fluttered. Any much longer you were going to need the same AFib you had saved Johnny with.
"I'm grateful for you and all that ya've done. He loves you... And think I'm startin' to."
Thump-thump was what you were looking for Johnny's chest about 3 months ago. If someone were to stop and listen to yours it would sound like a double drum. He kissed your neck, before pulling your shirt back up on your shoulder and giving your shoulder a slight squeeze.
You didn't look back up at him as he slipped back outside sitting next to Johnny wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Standing there dumbfounded for a minute, you grabbed 3 new fresh glasses and a tumbler of good whiskey for the occasion, not sure if you were going to be brave enough to step outside. So, you took a couple shots from it yourself to make sure you would have the courage to join them again
**********************************************
It was here you found yourself laid bare in front of them in the warmth of the fire.
Johnny made the first move, pulling you into his lap after his 2nd glass of whiskey not being able to drink from his injury making him more brazen from the amber liquid. His hands had worked their way into your pants leaving you a squirming mess, Ghost sitting now turned facing you.
It made you uncomfortable, his eyes the same color of the whiskey you noticed. His hand leaning against his fist, face unreadable as he watched.
"Relax Bonnnnn," Johnny purred into your ear. "We've already spoke abou' this." 3 fingers of his rubbing against you through your panties. "Both wan' this. Both wan' you. Least we can do ta thank ya'." Making your body at ease.
"Both want this?" You asked, head turning against his.
"Mmmmm." Ghost rumbled. There's that fucking noise again you thought still not sure how to take it.
"We do." Johnny said still whispering into you, his other hand pulling your pants down.
Ghost leaned down, tugging them down further helping them off your legs and over your feet. Instead of taking your panties down, he kneeled in further, tonging you over your cunt. A large gasp leaving you, the sensation still overwhelming. Johnny removed his hands from there moving up your shirt where he slipped under your bra, lightly pinching your nipples. Friction makes you roll yourself against them. Ghost had picked up either of your legs, placing them on either side of his head and neck. Not even bothering to take your panties off, he impulsively pushed them to the side holding them with a finger. His tongue slipped past your folds and rubbed up through you making your gasp shriller this time.
“Ghost,” you hissed out.
“Call ‘im Simon, Love,” Johnny said rubbing your nipples again, making a whimper leave you.
Simon did the same thing, hoping for a different outcome from your mouth, and you called out to him. “Simon…” Fingers slipping into his strands of dark blonde hair.
“There ya’ go.”
Simon made you ride his face while you were sitting down essentially. Making your hips grind up into his mouth where he greedily licked through you over and over. Once he decided you were wet enough, he slipped one of his large fingers in you, leaning back up to watch you. Your head was rolled up onto Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny having slipped your shirt up along with your bra, leaving your chest exposed.
“Oh, pretty girl,” he grumbled slipping in another finger, your head now rolling up further to look at him. The fire only made his eyes burn more. “Savin’ the love of my life pretty girl. Realizing how stupid I was…” he said pumping his fingers a few times before slipping in a 3rd.
“Siiiimon,” you whined squirming harder. Simon leaned forward, kissing you, before breaking it off quickly. Looking up he said to Johnny, “She’s ready, you ready?”
Johnny nodded vigorously. Simon gently helped you off his lap and onto the picnic table, pushing you back softly so your back was against it, turning you so your legs dangled off the side without a bench.
He leant down over you again, kissing you once more. It was just as much tongue as he had used on your cunt, still hungry. His fingers lifted your shirt up over your head and behind you on the table. He took his off as well and placed it under yours. You realized he was saving you from getting splinters off the table.
While he pulled back, you stopped him, hand behind his neck. Your movement confused him until he realized you stopped him so you could kiss him this time.
“Oh bonnie,” Johnny said finally unbuckling his pants and pulling out his cock stroking it a few times.
“Makin’ this hard love, want him to go first so he properly thanks ya’… then you go and have to do something like that,” Simon says dry humping into you. The friction is almost too much at first making you groan.
“Get in there Johnny,” Simon said stepping aside, allowing him through and have access to between your legs. He was slow at first a little wobbly, this something he hasn’t done for awhile clearly. You used your legs and wrapped around his waist, helping him to align with you before pushing in. It made your head roll back, your hair bunching up behind your head, a loud filthy moan leaving your lips.
“Yeah,” Johnny said moving out and back in. Looking down, you saw Simon’s hands holding his waist giving him assistance in fucking you.
The sight was definitely alluring and attractive to you. Simon helping Johnny. Maybe this is what it was like for Simon watching you help Johnny, and you had it wrong the whole time. Maybe he wasn’t jealous… he was envious. It didn’t take long for you to come. Your legs gripping on Johnny trying to slow him, but he just pushed into you harder and faster. Simon holding his core. Your warm walls finally squeezing him and slowing him down. Your cunt fluttering so hard, all you could do was constrict on to him.
“Jesus,” Johnny hissed out finally leaning forward laying on your abdomen for a bit. Your hands rested on his shoulders smoothing out his hair, letting him lax on to you while he caught his breath.
Simon stood behind him before finally helping Johnny sit next to you on one of the benches at the table.
“My turn,” he said standing back up and taking position over you. His fuck wasn’t like Johnny’s, it was rough. Instantly ramming into you over and over, lifting your legs up to his shoulders again using his raw power. Something Johnny would have to work up to. Johnny leaned forward kissing you, talking you through it.
“Such a good girl, takin’ it so well, lass,” again tweaking a nipple and holding a breast as they bounced from Simon's pounding.
This went on for a while, and even then, Simon wasn’t done. He turned you over and propped you up on your knees, thrusting into you from behind, watching you come undone on him this time. His hands gripped your hips, pulling you onto him in a way that didn’t feel human… but it sure curbed that feral dragon in you. And that’s all he wanted.
**********************************************
Simon carried you inside and into the master bedroom before going out to help Johnny in. He had pulled the blankets back and set you inside them. You pulled the blankets back on the other side, making room for Johnny. Simon had an arm under him helping him walk into your bed. Simon then slipped in behind you, arm over your waist as he pulled you back into him.
Johnny rolled over to his side sandwiching you between him and Simon, hand in your hair stroking it.
“Did well, bonnie, good physical therapy,” he joked, thumb stroking your cheek.
You gave a small laugh, laughing harder once you realized you were in your bed tonight and not a guest in your home in the other room.
“Gonna need something bigger than a tiny house,” Simon matched back “gonna have little ones before too long.” His hand already over your womb, mouth on your neck again already.
Simon "Ghost" Riley Masterlist
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tinyidle · 2 days
Note
if ur comfortable only,maybe a in-depth twice piss kink Mel
TWICE Having a P⚠️ss Kink as Doms (in Depth)
ofc my lovely, i didn't forget about you (sorry for the wait)
━━━━━━•❅•°•❈•°•❅•━━━━━━━
WARNING: suggestive smut, title implies everything, degradation, some dacryphillia, dom!twice + sub!nayeon and tzuyu (minus chaeyoung because i don't write for her anymore), sub!reader, idolxfem reader, slight swearing, all fiction
🌿 ୨ ✎ ‧₊ — — — — — — — — — — — — — ₊˚ ˊ˗
Nayeon
you loved to see this woman in tears caused by you. tears that you cause are pleasurable tears, as her eyes turned glossy once you tapped and furiously rubbing her clit repeatedly, her bladder uncontrollably flushing out of her system and onto the once pristine floor. she'd be sobbing inside her head as her cheeks were stained, but at the end of the say she thank you.
"you always make me feel the best"
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Jeongyeon
in the bathroom, you begged her that you were simply joking about her forcing you to do one of your more 'humiliating' fetishes. but did she care? of course not. you begged her for days and days up to literal weeks for her to control your bladder like this, and now that she made you wet yourself for the third time in two hours after drinking a gallon of water, you were (sort of) regretting it.
"release again for me, needy"
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Momo
when you first told her, she looked at you as if you told her that you hid a body somewhere. but lo and behold, the next day she fucking so hard that your cum turned to squirt, then to legitimate pee. you were freaking out at first but when you saw your girlfriend's almost sadistic excitement, you ere impressed on how you unleashed the best in her.
"mmh, i knew you had it in you; it just took a few rounds"
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Sana
she wanted to do it almost immediately, but finding the right place and who would do the pissing would be the problem. after talking more about it together, you both decided to let you do the watching while she does the pissing. it was simple: in the bathroom, when your girlfriend had to pee before going to the shower, she would call you in to watch her through the visible shower glass as she stepped in and let the water droplets trickle down her leg, sighing to herself befoe actually showering.
"i bet this is what you get off of; huh, bunny? filthy girl"
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Jihyo
you both are showering, and this mother of al beauty starts making out with you out of nowhere. of course you don't mind it at first, but when she breaks from the make out session to ask if you drank you daily intaje of water today, you freeze because you have. with you nodding slowly, she smirks before fingering you like crazy; determined to make you release unexpectedly or her.
"now, when you have to let go, do not hold back one bit; okay, baby?"
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Mina
the way you shivered as she told you to hold back in your bladder as she gave you your fifth spanking of tonight's session. she was determined to make you release, yet you were determined to follow her previous orders of not doing anything unless she says so. just when you were about to break when the seventh strike was delivered directly to your reddened clit, she let up and allowed you to le go.
"make a bit, messy puddle for me, darling"
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Dahyun
she made it into a competition: who could piss the most? you both drank the same amount of water, yet somehow she always ended up emptying her bladder more than you. when you tried one day to drink just a milliliter more, she noticed and punished you severely. well, severely to you; fun to her.
"so today you will drink two gallons of water and release five times today. oh you can't? well try, cheater"
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Tzuyu
you told her to hold it in, but she sneezed and squirted a little pee. after that, she'd do her best to hold of for you. with each passing 'practice', she got better and better with holding it off until she only pissed on your command (under the right setting, of course). it's now to the point that when you say that you feel thirsty, she will come over with a glass of water for you and a jug of it for her. she was prepared.
"just say the word, im ready at your command"
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🌱 :: ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶₊˚ ɞ
2 months after and i finally have the opportunity to finish this draft. hope you and everyone else liked it!
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samioli · 3 days
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sorry if this is a weird ask but what kinks do you personally think phoenix and edgeworth are into?
I really enjoy the stuff u make so I was just curious! Hope u enjoy the rest of ur day:))
me reading this ask:
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its not weird at all anon, considering i write them fucking nasty all the time!! don't feel weird asking!!!
but MAN i almost have no clue where to start. I'm bound to forget some lmao
Let's start with the basics, shall we?
Phoenix's "tamer" kinks:
Praise kink. He DEFINITELY has one, and i could see him having one with any partner of his.
He likes being degraded as well, and mannnn if you hit the combo of like, praise AND degradation, that is SUCH a sweet spot for him. like, for example, "wonderful. such a lovely, beautiful slut for me." something like that.
when he's in the mood for it, loves miles being a bit rougher with him, like face fucking or just leaving marks and bruises on his skin.
LOVES when miles is possessive of him, he adoressss it
likes being tied up, not as much as miles tho i think
BREEDING KINK!!!!! this man wants to be BRED BY MILES EDGEWORTH!!!
i use this a lot in my fics but i def think phoenix is a big user of dirty talk. it definitely does it for miles but i think it helps him along too lmao
Miles's "tamer" kinks:
Praise kink as well, BUT. i think it would be SOOOOO funny if miles only really has it with phoenix??? like maybe he has a one night stand and they try to praise him and miles is like
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he's like. you dont know me like that....
similarly to phoenix, also has a degradation kink, more like being objectified and being compared to an object tho.
ALSO similarly, loves that killer praise/objectification combo.
breeding kink up the wazoo. literally wants to have phoenix's kids, wants to be pregnant all the damn time. literally just wants to be pampered and fucked by him while he's stuffed. who said that.
i think he also likes being facefucked, maybe less so than phoenix?? or like, he has to be in the mood. he LOVES being manhandled tho, its a turn on for him. he loves seeing how just strong phoenix is
LOVES BEING TIED UP. he needs to be tied up and blindfolded to give himself a system reboot!!! he needs to forget who he is for a bit!!! its healing for him!!!
also likes being edged. he's a gooner, even. @sapphire-wine that was for you (but i agree with you, to be clear)
okay now im gonna get into the more??? kinky kinks??? don't take the separation too seriously, wasn't sure how to sort it, plus I'm p sure its very subjective. the kinks i think are "tamer" are prob someones like. particularly kinky kink.
Phoenix's spicer kinks:
pet play. doesn't matter if hes the pet or owner, he is INTO it. i think what role he plays depends on his mood.
teacher/student roleplay. i think he would LOVE being the delinquent student seducing a teacher. hed love to annoy edgeworth with that lmao
im gonna move on to edgeworth bc i def think he has more of the spicer kinks BUT i think for 99% of them, phoenix likes it too and is SO DOWN to play. so I'm just not gonna repeat myself lmao
Miles's Spicer Kinks:
pet play, mainly likes being the pet
tentacles!!!!!!
literally loves cum. wants to be covered and smothered. especially by phoenix
monsterfucker. he is a monsterfucker and often fantasizes about phoenix being a scary monster who captures him and is his prisoner.......oh no......what ever will he do to appease this beast....😳😳
hypno kink. literally get him OUT OF HIS HEAD!!!
oh i feel silly remembering this now but he def has an underwear kink. patty/boxer thief and sniffer miles edgeworth REAL
loves to fantasize about micro/macro. again, wants to be at scary giant phoenix's every whim....
i def think he's into CNC. to me he reads those bodice ripper novels LMAO
oviposition
literally this man just wants to be stuffed full
piss kink, probably. likes the humiliation of it
this would get me cancelled on twt but he has a daddy kink. sorry but its the truth
but whats even more true and even MORE present is his mommy kink. phoenix is his mommy and no i will NOT elaborate
somno for sure. i think with this and hypno play there would be discussed boundaries and rules, but yea
i cannot think of anything else and this is getting to be A LONGGGGGGGG post but also with miles i think like. okay this is me projecting 100000% but i hc him as demi but once he starts realizing he's sexually attracted to phoenix, the kinks come out of the floodgates. so i can see him just chilling with phoenix once they're together and like a random thought comes over him and he's like WHERE DID THAT COME FROM
anyways one time phoenix is laying down on the couch and he's barefoot and miles looks over and his immediate thought is "i need to suck his toes" and he's so taken aback he trips. i don't even think he has a huge foot fetish, i think phoenix just makes him Like That
anyways. DEFINITELY forgetting a bunch. it took me a while to write this, and I'm sorry for the wait in answering this! was having some health issues but thankfully i seem to be getting better.
i hope u enjoyed this very detailed list, lmao, and i hope i didnt scare u off. thank you for the question and have a great day!!!
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marionluth · 3 days
Text
Harley: Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Fuck! Shit! Fuck! Shit! Fuck! Shit!
Peter: Did you get that out of your system?
Harley: How can you be so calm right now?”
Peter: What do you expect me to do? We’re in handcuffs! We’re arrested. We can do nothing but wait!
Harley: Dude! You’re freaking Spi…
Peter: Shut up! Are you that unhinged? Nobody knows that, little idiot! And I plan to keep it that way, so shut up!
Harley: But you could…
Peter: No! No, I couldn’t! Because even if it wasn’t a secret, I wouldn’t freaking pull a prison break and become a delinquent to save your ass from Tony!
Harley: Ok, first, you are already a delinquent! You’re in fucking handcuffs, and second… Your ass is on the line too just as much as mine!
Peter: Stop talking, Harley! We wouldn’t be in this damn situation if you listened to me!
Harley: Yeah, well, we wouldn’t have driven that beauty in a street race if I had listened to you! Which, by the way, I don’t have to do! Like ever! I don’t listen to you! I answer to no one!
Peter: * snorting * Yeah, that’s why you’re scared shitless of Tony finding out.
Harley: Oh, fuck off! No matter how hard you try to play the good obedient son, you know just as well as I do that you freaking loved the ride! You wouldn’t even know how good you were in this, hadn’t I made you try. Who would’ve thought! Peter Parker, an illegal street racer. We might have to shave your head to give you some Dom Toretto vibes.
Cop: For the last time, who is your legal guardian or parent?
Peter: Officer, this would go so much faster if you just called my stepfather, who, as I’ve told you a bunch of times already, is Tony Stark
Cop: You expect me to believe that? Huh? Don’t you think this has happened before? Little piece of shits like you coming in here, giving me names to look up and then call and then snickering while whoever I bothered calling curses the everloving shit out of me?
Harley: Everloving shit! That was a good one. I’m gonna be using that, Mr. badge.
Peter: Harley, shut up! We get a phone call, don't we? Let us call Tony ourselves. Harley here has something to tell him!
Harley: Oh, hell no! I’m not talking to Tony about this! No way in hell! Not even if you beat the everloving shit out of me
*pleased smirk for being able to use his new favorite curse word so fast *
Peter: Harley… I’m unbelievably close to beating the everloving shit out of you as it is… So, you’ll shut up and we’ll follow the kind officer, and we’ll call Tony. And you’ll speak to him and tell him where we are and why and that he needs to come get us.
Peter : And even if you don’t and decide to start stalling until the kind officer loses his shit and terminates the call, then I’ll use my phone call. And I’ll let Tony know exactly what happened. There’s no way out of this!
Harley: Sure there is. You’re just not creative enough! That’s the problem with you science guys, you’re not creative enough. Me and Tony, we’re mechanics. We can come up with a million different ways out of any given situation.
Harley: And like you said… Since you’ll end up telling him yourself using your phone call, after I waste mine, why not make the call in the first place and save us all some frustration? How about not being a selfish asshole for once, Peter? For the everloving God?
Peter: Harley, I’ll ask permission from the kind officer to start smacking the shit out of you…
Harley: Nuh uh! The Everloving shit…
Excerpt from my fic: The fast (Peter Parker) The Careless (Harley Keener) and the Furious (Tony Damn Stark)
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smytherines · 3 days
Note
do you think maybe curt values spying so much because he is intensely aware of how much of a role it played in his and owen's relationship ever actually forming? that curt refuses to let go of it, even when owen's pointing a gun at him, because he doesn't know they're doomed for sure until nothing is as it was.
do you think maybe owen wanting to dismantle those systems is the ultimate symbol for his pain and anger and hatred, like how people avoid the spots their ex's used to take them to?
[I don't think I actually answered your question like... at all... but here's a fuckton of headcanon shit I wrote and never finished]
I think those are both accurate. I think for Curt, spying is the one thing he really feels like he is good at. That for a lot of reasons (but especially the ADHD and being gay) he's never going to feel comfortable or happy having a normal life, and by spying he gets to do something extraordinary. He gets to feel like a real important guy doing important work. He gets to feel valuable when so many people in his life have either said or implied that he has no value.
And that's before he even meets Owen. I think he really adores Owen, and maybe puts him on a pedestal a little bit (but also resents him for it). Owen is better at certain parts of the job- the planning, the stealth, the tactical and technological side of things. He has the things Curt lacks (and vice versa- that part is important). Together they are unstoppable.
Owen impresses Curt, and very few people actually manage to impress him because his RSD makes him maybe a bit too competitive sometimes- if he isn't the best then he must be the worst. So Curt wants to impress Owen too. He wants to not feel insecure in comparison. He sees this guy who is so good at the job and really fucking attractive and it makes him want to be better. To be clear, I'm not saying Owen is actually better, but that Curt's insecurity makes him constantly doubt himself in comparison (relatable).
So once they actually get together, that collaboration + competition element they've had going for however long they were Just Partners (maybe a couple of years) is still kinda there. It's still an element. He already got his sense of self-worth from the job, but now so much of it comes from how Owen sees him in the job.
I think there's also an element of... I dunno, this is some high gender headcanoning and definitely not in the purview of your question, but one thing I think about a lot is skinny autistic nerd Owen who has never done a sport in his goddamn life, thinking of Curt as a super masculine guy? And Curt feeling more masculine around Owen, because growing up people sorta clocked Curt as having some stereotypically feminine traits, which gave him a very fragile sense of his own masculinity. But when he's with someone he's comfortable with, and eventually someone he loves and trusts enough to know his secret, he feels a lot more confident in himself? Even if sometimes it is macho posturing, Owen loves him so maybe he is the right type of guy after all.
Maybe that's why his RSD becomes such a big issue in A1P1, because it feels like everyone is criticizing him at once and it just triggers that crisis for him, and he gets more ridiculous and cocky and becomes more of a daredevil the longer A1P1 goes on- he's trying to prove himself.
Ok enough of me getting distracted, back to the question- he knows that spying is the reason they met, the reason they got together, so its gone from being the thing he's good at to his entire world- when he's on the job he gets to feel good about himself AND he gets to see Owen. The only person who really knows who he is, and doesn't just accept him, but adores him.
I think that's why Curt convinces himself that Owen would want him to go back to the job- because that's where they were together. That's where they met. Their secret was only able to exist in that secret space- in hotels rooms and cars and abandoned buildings on missions. That if Curt can't have Owen anymore, at least he can maybe find comfort in the things they used to do together. He can get some small part of his self-confidence back.
I think for Owen, there is definitely an element of wanting to destroy any reminders of his relationship with Curt. We know so little about Owen canonically, so a lot of questions about his motivations are headcanon territory. So I can only say what I think here.
For me, Owen was accustomed to violence from a young age. We don't have a birthdate for him, but I picture him as *just slightly* too young to have served in WWII. I put him as born in 1928, making him 17 at the end of the war. In any case, if TCB was being sincere when they called London "Owen's hometown," he for sure lived through the Blitz. He saw his city being torn up, bombed, people leaving to fight a war and never coming home. Maybe sheltered in tube stations overnight, depending on his social class. And this would've happened for several formative years. WWII was a much more harrowing event for civilians in the UK than it was for civilians in the US.
So what does that have to do with spying? Well, I think it makes Owen more cautious, maybe more anxious for control over every little thing, he focuses his energy on making sure they avoid scenarios, and trusts Curt- who is good at creative problem solving and quick thinking and brawling- to take care of getting them out of trouble.
But, to me, growing up during WWII also instills in him this hatred of fascism (stick with me, I know that probably seems weird). I think he's less motivated by patriotism than Curt is, and more motivated by really fucking hating the people who made his childhood so difficult, who hurt so many people. And that motivation gets him through his first few years in MI6- he's one of the good guys. He's doing good things and punishing bad people.
But things change a lot in the immediate post-war period. He joined up because his side was the good side. But then the Americans via Operation Paperclip and the British via T-Force recruit hundreds of Nazi scientists for work in their respective countries. And the longer he works for MI6, the less he feels like a good guy saving the world. The more he feels like a hired gun killing without question or reason, doing coups, gradually becoming someone he doesn't like or respect, someone who isn't just good at violence but who genuinely enjoys it. The longer he does it the more he starts to have doubts about his job- except by this point his job is how he gets to see the man he loves, so he can't quit.
One very interesting thing about Spies for me is that any time DMA is onstage with BVN, he very clearly despises him. If you want to make your villain unambiguously terrible, having him genuinely align with Nazis is a good way to do that. But that doesn't happen with DMA. He is always either irritated by BVN, or doing an incredibly over the top appeasement (and making faces every time BVN's back is turned). Of the five people we see DMA/Owen kill post-fall, three of them are Nazis. He hates Nazis. Whatever else broke in him after his fall, I think that sort of instinctual memory of being a kid during the Blitz remains.
To be clear, as much as I wish he was, I don't think Owen is some great anti-fascist, anti-capitalist, anti-imperialist fighter. I think post-fall he is motivated by things he hates (the government that controlled his life and put him in that weapons facility and left him for dead), whereas Curt is motivated by a strong emotional response towards things he loves (his naive idealistic idea of America and patriotism and being The Good Guys).
That being said, I do think a strong part of why Owen specifically wants to destroy spying as an institution is partially to erase the thing that brought Curt into his life, partially to make sure Curt can never return to the thing that almost got Owen killed (except Curt returns just slightly too early and ruins that plan), but also that he just genuinely understands the post-war geopolitical situation. That his country and the US and the Russians are fighting proxy wars against each other, that everyone has their finger hovering over the nuclear button, that technology and surveillance are the way of the future. He can't, or simply doesn't want to, rejoin the side he used to fight for. He doesn't want to be part of nations battling each other for supremacy.
But with Chimera he has the opportunity to operate in the shadows. To destroy the system that destroyed him, and to carve out a place of power for himself. To be king of the ashes. To be so powerful that nothing can ever hurt him like that again. As an MI6 agent he had almost no control over any part of his life, and it almost killed him. With Chimera, he gets to be part of making the rules.
Regardless of whether it's true or not, Owen certainly seems to think that he will be the one in charge of Chimera's surveillance system. So either he knows he isn't going to expose himself as a gay man, or maybe he hasn't been with a man since Curt and truly thinks that he no longer has a secret. I could certainly see him being so injured and detached from his own body that he has stopped having intimate relationships with anyone, so he may think that makes him safe even if he doesn't have absolute control.
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starryluminary · 9 months
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I’ll be eighty seven, you’ll be eighty nine
I’ll still look at you like the stars that shine in the sky
Oh my, my, my
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permanentreverie · 2 months
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#ok so mini rant session#i am doing a bit better today - little less distraught over getting fired from a job i thought i was doing pretty good at and i was trying#really hard and genuinely enjoying#and just more baffled because truly i had no warning and i was completely blindsided#i was in the middle of a 3 month trial and i would have a review at the end in which i would be offered a permanent position if it went well#and i thought i was making my way towards that! granted i was still making mistakes but genuinely not of such a great scale i thought it#called for my immediate dismissal#that being said i was still VERY MUCH IN TRAINING. i had only been there A MONTH AND A HALF learning COMPLETELY NEW SYSTEMS#and i was told that i had been there a few weeks already and that i wasn’t catching on quick enough. that there were some areas i was#understanding and others i just simply wasn’t#and i asked what areas specifically so that i could learn more and try harder#and they didn’t give me a specific answer.#ok and so. so. i have this insecurity.#that at first impression people will like me. that they may think i’m pretty or kind or funny or whatever#but then they spend time with me or get to know me and realize that that’s all bullshit.#that i’m actually not pretty and im mean and loud and selfish and lazy and rude and etc etc etc#MASSIVE fucking insecurity in that like that’s why i genuinely don’t have friends or a significant other#and that genuinely i’m just a Bad Person#and when i was fired? i was told ‘a persons true colours show after a few weeks’#so that’s MAJORLY fucking me up.#when i was hired i was boasted to about my boss’s hiring process and how she’s ’only been fooled twice’#and the morning before i was fired in a meeting my supervisor told everyone that i was doing quite well.#so yeah i truly had no fucking warning. at fucking all.#hurt and confused and angry and baffled and did i mention hurt#anyways if you’re still here i’m sorry i know this is not a good look for me
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the-acid-pear · 1 month
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I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.
#luly talks#i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad#rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck#gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night..........#actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles#(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something#so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it?#not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still#i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭''#first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was#OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy.#anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence#dsaf#roger jones#dsaf roger#btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment#probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc#jake is so confrontational though#hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude#except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon.#hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff#because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen#not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway#yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact#im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking
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sirompp · 9 months
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the autism urge to create a blog archiving and sorting the entirety of something nobody wants not even me
#thats a lie. i do want. but not that much#you see.#i was thinking.#um.#theres a lot of gacha life mini movies in this world right?#and they all follow a lot of tropes.#and youtubes search isnt very great for when youre trying to find a specific kind of video and dont have the title memorized#a tumblr blog with a very thorough tagging system...would fix that...#im not going to do it. im NOT going to do it.#its so much work and would be an impulsive decision and those NEVER go well for me. im NOT GONNA DO IT.#but i want to. i fucking want to#i more want this blog to already exist to be honest because of one specific glmm that i saw as a kid that fundamentally changed me#i dont even watch glmms. i didnt when i was a kid either idk why i clicked on that video.#i dont remember anything about it besides some basic facts like...#it. um. there was hell. im pretty sure hell was in it. ithink the main character was an angel that got turned into a demon#which is like 30% of all glmms im aware.#also there was a dream sequence that i thought was really inspiring because it actually felt like a dream with dreamlike continuity#if i were making a gacha life mini movie archive blog then i would probably find that video. because id have to watch all the videos id pos#unless of course the video was deleted.#which um.#hm.#well id have made something useful to like 3 people either way so itd likely be worth it anyway#me tag🍭#<-almost forgot to add that bastard#and UHGHFJVNB it would be SO autismpleasing to sort all those things into their own little tags.#GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH im not going to.#fighting with ymself to not make a bad decision
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speedydestinydream · 1 year
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Tmf isnt very accurate in many ways but I like to think that one of the main accurate things rosy nailed was the fact that the jomies have been bullies for years and still haven't been (onscreen) punished and not even stopped. You'd think that after middle school to junior year of highschool the school would notice and stop them for good, but guess what! Nope!
#very accurate to the real school system#btw this isnt a serious or deep post about the shitty school system#im just making fun of it in both tmf and irl#tmf#the music freaks#the music freaks rosyclozy#tmf rosyclozy#oh and what i meant by the statement that tmf isnt very accurate is that like#i doubt that jake could be forgiven in a single month by drew and hailey#let alone fall in love with hailey while still trying to work out their friendship issues and friendship in general#and vice versa#and also them switching up the club mysic preformance plans last second#i feel like if milly really got into a lot of fights the school would probably just take her out of the music club already#and like (not a nitpick but something else) how the hell did henry and liam climb up to the bully rank??? theyre so fucking goofy#(in a good way) but they dont feel like serious bullies or they arent on the same level as drew#the rest of the music club knew about hailey and zanders bullies (im pretty sure) so why didnt they know about jake??? he literally was#with them all the time and was very persistent in.. idk being an asshole#theres a lot of plotholes in tmf and i could sit here and ramble and rant about them all i want but i wont cause that would be stupid#i still adore the series for what it has and is#plus sometimes you can fill in certain plotholes for yourself to make the story more enjoyable in your point of view#idk idk man i like rambling about tmf A LOT.#this is way too many tags#oops#EDIT: SORRY SORRY i meant i doubt jake could be forgiven in a single month by zander and hailey#*music#goddamned typos
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steakout-05 · 2 months
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eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P
additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly
#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it#and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website#as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people-#-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were-#-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered#also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it#this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone-#-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious#i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :(#i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles#it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on-#-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help.#unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that-#-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also-#-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes-#-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything''#and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think-#-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me''#and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point#be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying#and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child.#be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo#if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows-#-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like#trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you#social anxiety#anxiety disorder#i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11-#-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me#anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y
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bl00dw1tch · 5 months
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Ive been having lots of talks lately with my mom abt politics n the state of the world, Good conversations to be sure, and theyre great bc we both make good points and can compare different experiences and all -- but good God the fact that she's still seems to have. More subconscious faith in the moral integrities of the nebulous concept of a government or corporation More than she has faith in the the moral integrity of the nebulous concept of our societal peers. She talks about it like the Second a group like that is founded, its set of ethics just Miraculously appears out from the ether + just happens to Always be morally sound by default. I cant seem to find a way to word things that with like... idk. Help it Click that those corporations are still run by People and are therefore just as fallible 💀 technically More so but she's convinced capitalism is Never going to go away so she doesn't care about the whole "company's and governments in power, as they exist today, Have A Monetary Incentive To Lie To Us As Much As They Can" thing cuz shes such a damn pessimist and assumes All people have been doing that Forever 💀💀💀 SIGH it's nbd i just needed to put it in words bc its been on my mind on and off
#horse.txt#vent //#not extremely sad just like. huffy.#i love my mom to pieces but. man. we all have our issues ig 😔 it would just be nice if she wouldn't talk to me about how#the world is only every going to get worse within my lifetime#with a shrug and a laugh like 'what can ya do?' like ma. to your own adult child's face? when im already clearly upset with the state of#the world? not when im trying to talk about the kind of changes that other people are proposing we make to our overall society?#she gets so bitchy at me for always complaining but never Doing anything to change the world#but then She complains and agrees with me?? and then ALSO denounces all the Suggestions i tell her abt bc 'oh that would never work lol'#and then when i ask her 'ok well what would You do?' and she go well i think we need to get rid of credit cards and the debt system we have#and im like ok sick!!! keep going!!!#and then she goes OH but we cant get Rid of the debt system Completely bc people still need to borrow from lenders to get houses n cars#and im just. MA#shes been stuck on this metaphor of America being 'a house'#and she says all the ideas of overthrowing the government and replacing it with Anything else would be 'burning it down'#and that if America is already On fire then we should just put it out and try to rebuild it#like 1.) America is not a House it is a Cult. America is a group of people on an area of land. not a fucking House.#2.) THERE ARE PEOPLE RUNNING AROUND THE CULTHOUSE WITH FLAMETHROWERS AND GUNS TO SCARE AWAY AND/OR KILL ANYONE WHO TRIES TO PUT IT OUT.#ITS GOING TO BURN DOWN ANYWAY
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bunnihearted · 1 year
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actually i hate my sisters so much for making me feel like im not allowed to exist in my own home
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