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heesdreamer · 1 year

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skin on skin p2

PAIRING ➩ jake x reader

WARNINGS ➩ mentions of abuse and religious topics in a negative light, smut lol, NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL LOL

WC ➩ 11.1k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ honestly i rlly loved skin on skin and never planned to write a sequel but since it was heavily requested i tried! im not a huge fan of it and it’s a bit slow and boring at times but hopefully you enjoy and it answers some of the questions you had about what happens to them afterwards! if you want more specifics feel free to leave me an ask but there won’t be a part 3 so plz don’t request one lol. happy holidays everybody

Despite spending almost all of your formative years day dreaming what it would be like to be away from home, how the outside world would feel fresh and new and beautiful, you weren’t fully prepared for just how different it could possibly be.

It hadn’t been long now since you’d left, evident by Jake’s lip still cracking and bleeding every time he managed to smile too wide.

Still, he was managing far better than you and you were almost a little jealous considering his ability to socialize and adapt to your surroundings every new place you ended up in.

Taking now as a prime example as you observed your surroundings with a slight frown on your face. You were sat in an old diner with lights that made a low buzzing noise and windows fogged up by the cold that settled in with the night. Your hands were nervously playing with the paper from your straw, anxiously ripping it into smaller and smaller pieces so you had something to keep you occupied.

Jake was a few feet away, sat on a stool at the bar and leaning over it with a bright smile on his face, chatting animatedly with the older women behind the counter and shoving his finger against the map out in front of him every few seconds as he was trying to understand the directions she was helping him with.

You thought it was interesting how much he seemed to fit in out here.

The town you were currently in wasn’t far from where you’d grown up but it was almost triple in size, actual buildings and businesses just outside the diner and small crowds of people wandering around in suits and modern clothing. It felt like a new world and your head was hurting from the constant buzz of noise and movements.

All your life you’d longed for something interesting, for any moment to catch your attention long enough to help you forget where you were and now you finally had a steady stream of these distractions and you didn’t quite know what to do with them.

You looked back up towards Jake and saw him already watching you, a worried expression on his bruised face that slowly melted into a smile as he gave you an encouraging thumbs up.

Your lips curled up slightly and you gave him a small nod of approval back.

Despite your constant worrying and doubt about leaving home, or more literally running away from home, the one thing you hadn’t second thought was who you were doing it with.

Feeling an ice cold hand placed on your arm, you whipped your body around in defense and laid with your back pressed firmly against the mud, hands raised in preparation to fight off whoever had approached you in the field.

You dropped your hands with a cry when you saw it was just Jake standing over you, his eyes wide in fear and hands raised in surrender and an attempt to soothe your sudden panic. He relaxed at the sight of your relieved eyes but then immediately tensed up again when you started to sob.

You sat up to look at him closer, cupping his injured face in your shaking hands and frowning deeply.

He’d never seen you this vulnerable or lost and he felt a deep pit settle into his stomach at the way you shook your head in denial and cried looking at him. He wasn’t quite sure what the full extent of his injuries were but he imagined they couldn’t be pleasant judging by your extreme reaction.

“We have to go.” He was whispering and you kept shaking your head, looking at him in confusion and caressing his face with your cold thumbs.

“Go where Jake?” You said in bewilderment, looking around the area you were in and shrugging. “We have no where to go, and nothing with us.”

He was kneeling down into the mud so he could be closer to you, not minding the way it squished and soaked into, what was now, his only pair of jeans.

“You have me.” His voice was stern and sincere, needing you to trust and understand that what he was saying was the truth. It wasn’t safe to stay where you were and you’d have to take your chances elsewhere to avoid what was coming your way.

“They followed me out of the house.” He was continuing and although you had suspected as much, knowing there was no way he had talked himself out of that situation, your stomach still clenched in fear. “It’ll be worse when they find us.”

You weren’t sure how it could be worse considering the current state of him. Jake’s face was swollen and already starting to bruise, his lip busted with blood dripping down onto his sweater.

Despite a few days passing now and healing the most extreme of his injuries, you still cringed at the memory and your face pulled into a grimace as you looked back down at your hands.

“We get people like you in here all the time.” A sudden voice was snapping you out of your thoughts and your head shot up to see a boy around your age with an apron on his waist. He was standing next to your table and looking over at Jake, the same way you were.

“Excuse me?” Your tone was harsh and he glanced at you for a second before sliding into the booth across from you.

“Hey, relax. I didn’t mean anything bad.” His voice was hushed and casual, spiking irritation in you. You wondered if this is how all teenage boys spoke in the real world. “That’s my mom over there. We live above the diner.”

He lifted a hand over his shoulder to point at the woman Jake was talking to, who apparently was the owner on top of being a waitress. You looked back at the boy and your eyes went to his name tag.

“Bob?” You questioned him with a raised eyebrow and he let out a laugh at your deadpan expression.

“It’s actually Heeseung.” He explained and when you looked more confused he continued. “Bob’s sick so I’m filling in.”

You didn’t say anything after that, just humming in understanding and avoiding looking at him. You were mentally willing that Jake would hurry back so he could take over the social interaction.

“I really didn’t meant to offend you. I just meant that we see kids from the villages all the time.” He was speaking in a kinder tone now but you looked back up in surprise at his words.

“You can tell?” You whispered and leaned forward with your elbows on the table, looking around slightly in panic. It was already alarming enough to think you were radiating runaway vibes but it also didn’t help to think about all the kids before you that had ended up at this same place.

“Not really.” He rushed to assure and his big eyes widened in alarm at your sudden change of demeanor. “I just heard your boyfriend asking about the bus stop.”

You nodded at his explanation, relaxing slightly at his words but being a bit awkward at the label he had applied to Jake. He seemed to notice and his eyebrow quirked up.

“Not boyfriend then.” You couldn’t tell what his tone was implying but you furrowed your eyebrows into a glare and watched him carefully.

Thankfully Jake was finally heading over then, you could see him approaching from over Heeseung’s shoulder and he froze for a second when he realized you weren’t sitting alone anymore.

Heeseung was sat where he’d been sitting so he slid into the seat next to you, pressing close so your thighs and shoulders were touching each other. He didn’t look too worried at the sudden appearance of the boy despite your own hesitance.

“I’m Jake.” He greeted casually and he stuck his hand out across the table. Heeseung looked down at it for a second in surprise and you suddenly realized how aged the two of you might seem compared to normal teenagers. Still, the strange boy shook Jake’s hand happily and smiled across the table.

“Nice to meet you dude.” He grinned and looked over at you, making you realize you hadn’t offered your name to him at any point. You mumbled it and he nodded appreciatively.

“His mom, the owner, said they have a place for kids who leave the neighboring towns to stay overnight.” Jake was speaking in a calm tone from next to you and you glanced over at him with widened eyes.

Despite your annoyance with the boy across from you, it suddenly made sense why he had approached you in the first place.

“She told me all about the bus stops like we needed but I figured it’d be good to have somewhere to sleep for a few days that wasn’t a bench.” He looked nervous as he spoke like he was worried you’d scold him for making his own version of a plan.

Heeseung on the other hand looked awkward for other reasons, the mention of your homelessness saddening him.

“That sounds great Jake.” You smiled warmly at him, eyes tired as you placed a reassuring hand on his bouncing knee. “Thank you.”

“My mom lets people who stay with us work in the diner if they’d like.” Heeseung was talking again, more sheepish this time. “You don’t have to but she’ll pay you, then you’ll be able to travel easier.”

For the first time since leaving home you felt a small surge of hope as the two boys spoke and you almost welled up in tears at the kindness you were experiencing. You felt happy that other people like you and Jake had found this place and you felt sadness that some might not have.

You harbored these thoughts for the rest of the evening, even after Heeseung’s mom was done with her shift and flipping off the open sign on the diner window. She ushered the three of you into a back hallway with a warm smile and you followed in contemplative silence down it and up the staircase at the end, giving Jake small nods every time he glanced back to make sure you were okay.

The apartment wasn’t large but it was nice and home like, comfortable seatings in every corner and pots and pans sprawled about the kitchen like they’d left in a hurry after breakfast.

She showed you that the couch pulled into a springy bed for you and Jake to sleep on and you almost smiled at the slight blush that brought to his cheeks. She gave you a knowing glance and you faltered away from her gaze.

You were making the bed with the blankets she’d lent you, Jake and Heeseung off in his room after he excitedly exclaimed he had something to show Jake that he just couldn’t miss out on.

“Are you settling in okay?” Ms. Lee’s voice was startling you and you looked up at her from where she stood in the doorway, adorned in pajamas and a robe.

You briefly considered the fact you’d never once seen your own mother in such a casual state, although there was hundreds of obvious differences between the two.

Not fully trusting yourself to speak still, you nodded your head at her appreciatively and smoothed out the final blanket you had just laid down.

“Come here and I’ll make you some hot chocolate.” She was instructing kindly and you awkwardly followed her a few feet away into the connected kitchen, sitting down at the small table as she started to rummage through the cupboards. “I’m sure this must all be so overwhelming.”

“A bit.” You answered her after a few seconds of hesitation, your voice quiet and not quite sounding like yourself.

“You’ve made it this far.” She was continuing and you cocked your head at her although she wasn’t facing you and couldn’t see. She seemed to anticipate your reaction however and went on to explain. “Leaving is the hardest part.”

“When did you leave?”

She was turning around in surprise at your question but she didn’t look upset or offended that you had somehow managed to realize she also was from one of the villages. After her look of surprise faded away she gave you a small proud smile and sat at the table across from you.

“All these years I’ve been doing this and you’re the first person to figure me out.” She had a small teasing tone and you managed to smile at her.

“19 years ago I left.” She said it slowly like she was waiting for you to piece it together and you did immediately, parting your lips in surprise.

Your eyes shot to the fridge briefly, seeing photos of her and a small baby then more of the two of them as Heeseung continued to grow and she continued to age.

“I fell inlove,” She began hesitantly, like she hadn’t spoken it aloud before. “And then I found out I was pregnant. I could only hide it for so long of course and by the time they found out it was too late. But my father told me I would have the baby and then they’d give him away, we’d never tell anybody.”

You were nodding as she spoke, watching her as she stood up again at the sound of the water filter stopping and she began to pour your drinks while continuing her story.

“I said okay, of course. I was young and didn’t think there was anywhere to go but then I saw him.” She shrugged with a sad laugh and paused in her motions, taking a second to breathe. “I held him for three seconds before they took him away but that was all I needed.”

When she turned back towards you she gave you a smile and you returned it, graciously accepting the warm mug she was handing you as she sat back down.

She didn’t continue and you didn’t ask her any questions or pry for more specifics, details on how she managed to get out with Heeseung. You imagined that was where the story got ugly for most people, including yourself.

You thought back to the bruises on Jake’s face and body and you wondered what she thought when she saw him. Did it phase her or did most runaways come through looking how he did, or maybe even worse off. How many kids got to this point and then turned around, accepting the fate of returning home?

Echoes of Jake’s voice carried down the hallway, his laughter and teasing tone as he joked back and forth with Heeseung and you felt yourself tear up at how carefree and happy he sounded.

You weren’t sure he’d ever felt like that before but even worse, if he would again for a long time.

“You should go and check on him.” Ms. Lee was whispering and patting your hand, a knowing look on her face when you glanced up at her with wet eyes. You nodded and went to stand up before hesitating.

“Thank you.” You whispered back to her with full sincerity, voice cracking around the word and she didn’t reply verbally, giving you a smile and a nod.

Your heart was pounding as you walked down the hallway. There was only two doors at the end and one of them was open with bright lights pouring out so you assumed that was the one they were currently in. When you turned the corner into the doorway, you froze for a few seconds.

The boys were sat on Heeseung’s carpeted floor with something in between them, laughing so hard their breaths were catching in their throats and you watched Jake give him a playful shove on the shoulder at something the other boy was saying.

Heeseung’s room was basically a cluster of all sorts of games and media, things you didn’t recognize but you could imagine were well known considering the sheer amount of merchandise he had.

You could see colorful superhero’s and toy cars, a bookshelf overflowing with books and more little knick knacks. You thought back to your room, grey and barren other than the bible on your nightstand and your stomach turned.

Then Heeseung’s eyes were bouncing up towards you and he faltered as he noticed your sudden appearance. “Oh hey.”

Jake was looking over his shoulder in confusion and his smile dropped when he saw you, eyebrows furrowing in worry as he stood from the carpet and approached you in a hurry. His hands went to your crossed arms, holding you delicately and peering down at you.

“What’s wrong?” He whispered and you shook your head, confused when you realized you were crying.

You tried to tell him that it was nothing and reassure him he could go back to hanging out with Heeseung, who was cautiously watching the two of you, but your voice made no noise so you just parted your mouth in muted silence.

Jake was frowning and petting your hair gently. “Hey let’s finish up tomorrow.”

You felt guilty as you heard Heeseung agree and bid the two of you goodnight, only getting worse when Jake started to lead you down the hallway and back out into the living room with gentle hands.

Ms. Lee was already out of the kitchen and the mugs were cleaned up, small circles of left over hot chocolate residue being the only evidence of your talk.

Jake helped you into bed and pulled the covers over you before walking around to the other side and crawling in next to you. He tugged his sweater off, leaving him in a white t-shirt, and laid down on his side so he could face you.

“What happened?” He whispered and you let out a small sob, laying on your back so you didn’t have to look at him. “Y/N, what happened?”

“I don’t know.” You whispered and you genuinely meant it. You weren’t sure when or why you’d started to cry, before this week it was extremely rare you’d get to such a point of emotion. “How are you so good at this?”

He let out a soft laugh and you glanced at him finally, frowning at his gentle expression and shifting your body so you could be closer to him.

“Are you kidding? This is terrifying.” He was scooting forward with you, pressed against your side now and whispering next to your ear.

You smiled through your tears at his statement, rolling on your side so you could face him better. You cupped his face when you turned, thumb rubbing softly over his bruise cheek.

“Doesn’t hurt anymore.” He whispered and you nodded softly despite not fully believing him. You saw the way he tongued at the cut on his lip and winced every time he got dressed in the morning. You couldn’t believe somebody could ever want to hurt a person like Jake.

Even now as you leaned up to kiss him, you could hear the slight hiss of pain at the feeling of your lips pressed onto his. He ignored it and surged forward into you, happily accepting the pain that came along with being close to you again.

You hadn’t had any down time since leaving, sometimes holding hands while you waited at bus stops or pecking him goodnight before you curled into each other and slept close to remain warm.

But kissing him now felt different in the same ways it felt familiar and you leaned into him again desperately at the sudden comfort that washed over you. Despite the absolute mess of a week you were having and your entire life being flipped upside down, Jake was here and he understood exactly what you felt.

He’d come with you instead of taking his punishment and staying home. It wasn’t safe there but neither was what you were doing, living from place to place with no steady food source or warm bed to sleep in as the winter approached rapidly.

Yet he was still here with you and still doing things that were strange and confusing for him. Just like you, Jake had never had to work, never taken a bus or been in a city with more than 700 people. He was waking up each day and holding more conversations than he’d had his entire life and trying to figure out the safest option for the both of you.

You wanted him to understand you were beyond thankful for him and everything he was doing although you had a habit of falling short on words.

One of his hands went to your hair, keeping you pressed against him and you felt a small spark of satisfaction in your stomach at the reminder of who exactly you were kissing. Less than two weeks ago he hadn’t even been able to hold your hand and now he was frantically keeping you tugged against him.

Your hands went around his back and you bunched up his thin shirt in a tight fist, shuffling even closer to him as you took a deep breath and kept kissing.

He was sitting up just a bit so he could lean over you and you heard a soft whine escape his throat as he tried to deepen the kiss. You stopped and tapped him on his back which caused him to immediately pull away with a frown.

“We can’t baby.” You shook your head and his frown deepened. You felt his hand that was in your hair twitch like he was going to instinctively curl it up before remembering it’s placement.

“I can keep quiet.” His voice had taken a soft pleading tone and you felt him lowering himself again, although this time he was half way on top of your body. He leaned back in to kiss you and you accepted habitually.

This kiss was deep from the start, your heads turning and pulling each other in with a fever that only time could bring. You let yourself lick into his mouth just to hear his soft little gasp before pulling back again.

“Please.” He was whispering into your mouth before you could reject him again and your resolve faltered slightly.

You hummed as you considered your current situation and what he was asking. Heeseung and his mom were quite a bit away, all the way out of the living and kitchen and down the long hallway. But the apartment was still small and you were guest.

“What do you want baby?” You questioned him gently, touching his face again and he immediately was pushing against your hand and letting out a shaky breath.

“Please.” He didn’t say anything else for a second and you almost told him to word it clearly before you realized he was completely lowering himself now so you could feel him against you.

Your mouth parted in understanding at the hardness that was now pressed against your stomach and he flushed bright red, hiding his face in your neck in a familiar position. Your hand that was still on his back, gripping his shirt, rubbed it softly and he groaned in embarrassment.

For a moment you wanted to tease him, make him feel more humiliated for getting hard after barely kissing you. But then he was picking up his head with red cheeks and anticipation in his eyes and you couldn’t help yourself from leaning into him.

He made a small surprised noise at the sudden kiss but happily accepted it.

Your hand went under his shirt to continue rubbing his back and you were suddenly reminded how rare it was you actually felt each others skin. Not to mention you’d only ever seen him without pants, always remaining fully dressed.

He seemed to be having a similar line of thoughts because he was impatiently reaching down in an attempt to tug his shirt off, stopping when you swatted at his hands.

You didn’t want to be in too damning of a position in case Ms. Lee decided she needed a late night glass of water, and you were content with the feeling of his warm skin under your hand as you rubbed his back.

Jake let out a little whine however at your refusal and you licked into his mouth as an apology, knowing he liked that part of kissing the most.

This was evident by the way he immediately bucked against your hip, a soft gasp coming out of his mouth again as he started to hump against you slowly. You lifted your leg slightly so you could push his body over, centering him so he was grinding with you directly and not just your hip.

“You’re so cute.” You mumbled into the kiss when his whole body twitched at the switch of position, freezing for a moment at the feeling. “You’d let me have you right here, wouldn’t you?”

He was nodding quickly and pulling back to look at you more clearly, trying to determine if you were serious with hooded eyes and swollen lips. The smile on your face told him you were just teasing and he groaned.

“We can’t baby I’m sorry.” You were mock pouting at him and caressing his bruised cheek. “What if Heeseung heard?”

He froze at the mention of the other teenage boy and you were intrigued by his extreme reaction. You’d just been explaining casually but he seemed to have already considered this judging by the way he awkwardly avoided your gaze now.

At first you wondered if he was jealous at the idea of it, curious if he had a possessive side to him at all. But then you were shifting underneath him and you suddenly realized he was throbbing as he was pressed against you, his face flushed with embarrassment.

“Would you like that?” You whispered and he winced, still not looking at you. “You want him to hear?”

He didn’t say anything but you knew you were right, he was just too ashamed to admit. Maybe he wasn’t able to read your tone and was worried that was a line you didn’t want to cross, a bad thing to suggest.

You attempted to reassure him silently by rubbing his back again and shifted your hips so he would lower himself onto you once more, guiding him by doing that until he was finally moving again. He took a stuttered breath as he continued to grind against you.

“Would you let him touch me or just watch?” You were suddenly whispering and he looked flustered at the fact you were bringing it up again.

“N-no touching.” He sounded pained at the thought and you almost laughed, answering your previous question about possessiveness.

You hummed and kissed him again and he happily accepted. Your leg was coming up to wrap around his waist so he was pressing against you more and you almost let out a sound of your own at the feeling. For a moment you considered indulging his earlier request and letting him touch you.

“Only you can touch me right?” He was nodding and kissing against your mouth desperately as you spoke, making it difficult to get the words out. “But he can watch.”

He paused again to look at you, breathing hard as he kept rubbing himself against you and trying to hold in his noises. He glanced down the hallway towards Heeseung’s room and another wave of interest washed over you. You weren’t sure if it was being watched that he liked or specifically by his new friend.

“You like him?” You whispered in question, pushing his shirt up off his back and waiting for him to get the hint and pull it over his head. You wanted to sit back and look at him now that he was shirtless but you kept eye contact as you waited for him to answer.

He shrugged and blushed. “No, I don’t know. He called you pretty earlier and it made me think.”

“Do you think I’m pretty?” You quirked up an eyebrow and he nodded immediately, eyes shooting down to your lips briefly.

“So pretty.” His voice was a whisper like he hadn’t even meant to say it and you smiled at him and the way he was looking around at all the features on your face. He had stopped moving against you to look at you but neither of you noticed. “I just wanted to like… I don’t know.”

“Show him that you got me?” You tried to finish his sentence since he obviously had no clue how to describe the thoughts he was having and he looked relieved as you put it into words, nodding his head and leaning back down so he could kiss you again.

The kiss was slower and more sweet, taking little breaks and drinking in being close to each other. Your hand on his back moving suddenly reminded you that he was shirtless and you paused.

He watched you in confusion when you pulled back from the kiss, tugging the blankets up slightly so you could get a better look at him on top of you.

You knew Jake was fit considering his wide build and legs, assuming his dad had put him to some type of labored work back at his village, but it didn’t make it any less surprising to see all of his chest and stomach bare and pressed against you.

“God you’re pretty too.” You groaned softly and he looked a little unnerved at you using that word, still adjusting to losing his faith. He quickly forgot about it as you spoke again. “I want you to fuck me so bad.”

A deep whine escaped his throat and he dropped his head into your neck again, biting against it to stop himself from crying out as he started to hump you again.

“Do you remember how wet I felt on your fingers?” You were panting as he rocked against you, throbbing in your sweatpants and desperately holding onto his back. “Want you to think about your cock inside me.”

He let out a soft cry into your ear and started to buck into you harder, you were clenching around nothing at the feeling of him, wishing so desperately you were alone so you could finally show him what it felt like to actually feel you.

“It’s so tight and warm Jake.” You kept whispering in his ear despite the fact it was riling him up too much, his noises getting far too loud for the quiet room you were in. “You won’t last two seconds, my poor baby.”

He was suddenly kissing you in an attempt to shut you up and simultaneously mute his own sounds, the thought of stopping because of an interruption making him feel sick to his stomach. He’d never needed you so desperately and your countless attempts to provoke him weren’t helping.

You were surprised at his sudden bold actions but accepted it happily, a small knowing smile on your lips and you kissed him back.

He kept fucking into you, so desperate for relief that he didn’t even realize you clawing against his back, the stinging of your nails hidden underneath the pure pleasure rushing through his veins. You were licking into his mouth desperately and he felt a surge of pride at the fact you were as needy as he always felt.

It wasn’t long after that before he was coming undone on top of you, biting onto your collarbone in an attempt to hold back his deep moans that were barely muffled against your hot skin.

He was collapsing on top of you and you nearly cried out at the sudden loss of contact, tapping his back desperately and waiting for him to pick his head back up and look at you in concern.

“Touch me.” You urged and he looked frightened and confused before nodding and waiting for you to guide him. You took his large hand in yours and pushed it down under the covers, gliding over your panting stomach and into your pants where he was met with your wet and aching core.

He gasped softly and looked at you with wide eyes, not quite understanding why you were suddenly on board with being touched. You realized quickly Jake didn’t understand what it meant for you to cum too, only just doing it for the first time for himself some weeks ago.

You rocked your hips against his hand and he shifted so he could access you more comfortably, laying on his side as he nervously pressed his hand firmly against you.

Humming in approval, you gripped his wrist and helped him move it properly, letting out small whines at the feeling of his thumb on your clit like it had been back in the field. Your free hand was touching him as he laid next to you, rubbing his stomach and chest and drinking in all the bare skin.

He was addicting to touch and be touched by and you wished again, for the dozenth time that night that you were in the position for him to take you fully.

“Put one inside me.” You were gasping out and he looked thrown off by the request, shaking his head softly and watching you in bewilderment. He wasn’t sure what you were exactly referring to but you shifted your hips and spread your legs a bit more so he could feel you and understand.

His mouth was parting in shock as his fingertip was now pressing against your hole and you waited for him to meet your gaze, nodding your head in confirmation.

He trusted you blindly and slowly pressed a finger into you, gasping softly at the feeling of it while you did the same. You always knew his hands were particularly large but you weren’t prepared for how heavy and thick they’d feel on you.

“Oh fuck.” You muttered out and he froze, waiting to see if it was a good exclamation or a negative one. The roll of your hips let him know which and he kept pressing into you, leaning forward so he could kiss you during.

“Be quiet.” He whispered against your lips and another flash of heat passed over you at the command. His voice was genuine when he said it but the slight change of his demeanor made you feel crazy.

You let yourself be slightly distracted by the kiss as he kept pressing his finger into you and moving it experimentally, trying not to panic at the loss of control you were experiencing. You needed to remind yourself that your plan to control and ruin Jake was long over and this was a mutual relationship now.

His free hand was going to your hip that was rocking and moving to try and get him to finger you deeper, holding it down against the bed and giving himself more time to touch you and explore the feeling.

“Spit.” You were whispering into his mouth and he pulled back slightly to look at you in confusion before remembering that day back in his bedroom. He was waiting for you to confirm and you nodded desperately, opening your mouth wide and sticking your tongue out for him to fully get the message.

He sat up a bit more, looking hesitant and awkward but he fulfilled your request and let himself spit into your open mouth. He watched with wide curious eyes as it hit your tongue and a low moan rumbled through your chest, leaning up to kiss him again.

Between the constant feverish kissing, him pressing against you so desperately, and now what was happening now, you knew you were close.

Before you could even manage to warn him, you were finishing around his hands and you vaguely heard him make a soft startled sound, freezing like he was worried he had hurt you somehow. You laughed at his concerned expression through your pants as you tried to catch your breath.

“Are you okay?” He was whispering and you laughed again, closing your eyes and nodding.

He laid down flat on his back next to you and you both fell into silence for a few minutes, falling back to reality. You briefly wondered what he was thinking about during the moments after you did something to this extent and you rolled onto your side so you could wrap an arm across his stomach.

“I should get dressed.” He murmured although he made no attempt at moving. His cheeks were red as he took in his half nudity.

“We need showers.” You scrunched up your nose and he smiled at the expression, only slightly relaxing at your joking tone. “Boys sleep shirtless.” You offered to him.

“Normal boys you mean.” He whispered back after a few seconds of silence and you frowned at him.

“You are normal Jake.” You shook your head and laid it against his chest. You didn’t fully believe your own words but you wanted him to at least hear it. “Anything different about us isn’t our fault.”

“Heeseung’s normal.” He was spitting and despite knowing his anger wasn’t directed towards you, you were still taken back by his tone. He seemed to realize and he sighed.

You felt guilty that you hadn’t realize how much it was bothering him to be around somebody his own age, something who lived a different life.

“Nobody’s normal Jake.” Your tone was stern but not scolding and you felt him take another deep breath. Your hand was resting on his side and taping the warm skin softly. “Everybody has their shit.”

He didn’t say anything after that and you let the conversation die, hoping some part of what you said had stuck with him. If you were going to stay here for a few days you didn’t want him overthinking the entire time and driving himself crazy with insecurities.

Eventually you felt his breathing slow underneath your cheek as he fell asleep. You nuzzled into his chest contently before quickly following his lead.

——

By the time you woke up, Jake was gone and the blankets were pulled up tight around you. You felt panicked for a few seconds, jolting upright with a gasp before your eyes landed on a surprised Heeseung who was stood in the kitchen.

He was frozen in his pajamas, fuzzy pants with a yellow bear printed all over them, holding a bowl of cereal. He had paused mid bite at your sudden movements and you groaned and rubbed your eyes.

“Where is he?” You murmured, voice groggy with sleep.

He didn’t ask for any clarification, automatically knowing who you were referencing. “He helped my mom open this morning.”

You nodded and didn’t say anything else, pulling Jake’s discarded sweater over your head and climbing out of bed. Heeseung continued to eat his cereal in the kitchen as you moved until he noticed you staring at the couch bed in confusion.

“I’ll put it away until tonight.” He assured and you glanced back at him. “Go on and head down.”

You wanted to thank him, maybe engage in conversation about Jake and find a way to let him know your concerns. Despite your lack of trust initially, you had a good feeling about Heeseung and his mom and you imagined he’d be willing to tone it down for Jake’s adjustment.

Instead of doing any of that, you only managed to hum in appreciate. He smiled at you knowingly and you shyed away from it, heading down the stairs swiftly.

When you made your way down into the diner you were greeted with a few people sat around the shop, one or two families filling up the tables and some singular men at the counter drinking coffee.

You stood in the doorway for a moment when you spotted Jake, watching him swiftly make his way around the area in a white apron. He was smiling at the kids eating as he delivered them a plate full of pancakes, refilling the parents mugs casually after. He looked natural doing something so foreign to him and you felt more pride than jealously this time.

Eventually he noticed you observing him and he gave you a soft smile, flushing bright red after a few seconds like he was remembering parts of last night.

You weren’t exactly sure what part he was more embarrassed by but you liked the pink tint to his face.

“Did you want to help him?” Heeseung’s mom was suddenly appearing behind you and you jumped at the sound of her voice, shooting out of the doorway and awkwardly letting her walk pass.

“Oh I.. I’m not sure.” You hesitantly shuffled in place and she glanced at you with a warm look that gave you a weird pit in your stomach.

“I could use some help in the kitchen.” She was putting away something underneath the counter as she spoke but you could tell she was being purposefully casual in her offer, not wanting you to think she was pitying you for your obvious lack of social skills.

Despite the initial urge to scowl at her, to explode with anger at the fact she was offering you something so gentle and kind, you managed to accept.

Three days passed like that, you helping out in the kitchen while Jake (and occasionally Heeseung when he got bored) tended to customers and the register.

At night you’d all eat together, drinking hot chocolate and you’d sit back and smile silently at the way the boys laughed and teased each other. Then you and Jake would tuck into bed and talk about your days, sleeping against his chest like you were two regular people living regular lives.

On the fourth day, you woke up and did the same routine but you knew it was different. The others seemed to notice it too and everybody was unusually silent, moving around each other like it was habit now but not laughing and talking anymore.

You went through the day with the silent knowledge that it would be your last with the Lee’s. They’d been beyond generous and you almost denied the amount Ms. Lee was offering you and Jake for the work you were doing.

You knew it was probably more than she’d pay an actual employee but she pushed it into your hand and cupped them in hers softly while you shook your head with watery eyes.

Heeseung was approaching you before the last shift ended and you tried not to focus in on his shaking hands and furrowed eyebrows. You set down the rag you were wiping the counter with and gave him your full attention.

“I’ve been through this enough times to know you guys are leaving.” He was starting in a low voice and you felt a weird turn in your stomach.

You hadn’t considered much how many connections he made throughout his life that didn’t last. You wondered at what age he started to realize that the people that stayed with them were never going to last, you felt a fondness building at the fact he was still so willing to bond with you and Jake despite this.

“I just wanted to let you know that if things don’t work out, or they get too hard out there, you can come back here.” His words were quiet but sincere. You knew Jake was listening in from a few feet away and you saw him hang his head out of the corner of your eye. “You can always come back here.”

“We will.” You were whispering back and he looked at you finally. “I promise we will.”

“And we will call you whenever we get to where we are going.” Jake was speaking suddenly but Heeseung didn’t look surprised at the fact he was listening, just nodding his head.

You were rounding the counter before you even processed your feet were moving, pulling Heeseung in by his shoulder and hugging him tightly. He accepted it immediately, letting out a shuttered breath and patting your back.

You didn’t want to cry so you pulled away quickly, letting Jake hug him as soon as you finished.

The day finished up quickly after that and before you even registered what was happening, you and Jake were stood at the bus stop with the Lee’s who offered you a ride last minute. You both had gifted backpacks on your shoulders and your body felt heavier than usual.

Ms. Lee was hugging you goodbye when she whispered in your ear softly. “The hardest parts over.”

You hesitated as you pulled away from her, giving her a close lipped smile and a nod, knowing if you spoke you’d burst into tears.

Neither of you said anything as you got on the bus, moving in silence as Jake took your bags and placed them in the cubby underneath your seats. He watched you as you sat down next to the window before taking his spot beside you. His hand was coming up to grab yours and you shakily took it, trying to ignore the fact Heeseung was standing outside on the platform as he watched you go.

“Are we doing the right thing?” You eventually whispered to him, a few hours into the drive. His head was laid on your shoulder and for a moment you were worried he had fallen asleep.

“I don’t know.” His answer was honest and you were glad, not in the mood for any false hope.

“I imagine we got lucky this time.” His voice was low and you felt his hand come up to rest on your knee. “But we are going to try our best.”

You hummed in agreement and put your hand on top of his, squeezing it affectionately and shifting so you could rest your head onto his. You were suddenly exhausted and coming to the realization that most of the other passengers were already asleep.

You briefly wondered where they were all heading to, if anybody was feeling as confused and lost as you were or if they knew exactly what to do once they got off the bus.

Most were probably heading home for the holidays, something you’d been trying to avoid thinking about ever since you left despite the cold weather serving as a constant reminder to what time of year it was.

Like always you waited for Jake to fall asleep first, listening for his breaths to shallow out and for his chest to slowly rise and fall. It was, for some reason, easier for you when he drifted off first. Maybe it gave you some time to think about things without the guilt of checking out of conversations or maybe it was just easier for you to focus when you knew he was safe and not going anywhere.

After you were sure he was asleep you slowly managed to follow him into a deep dreamless night.

By the time you woke up, it was still dark outside the bus windows but you could see it slowly lightening as the sun started to rise. People around you were shuffling off exhaustion in their seats and preparing to deboard.

You looked over at Jake to see him already awake, eyes puffy from sleep as he looked out the window with a melancholy expression. You were tapping his arm instinctively and he glanced at you, face widening into a soft smile at your tired expression.

“Only like ten more minutes he said.” His voice was low but you nodded at him, tugging your sleeves down and preparing to go back out into the cold.

Once you got off the bus you felt a bit disoriented. Your previous stop was bigger than home but definitely manageable, still considered a small town to most people in the world and home like. Now you were definitely branched out and this city was large and bustling like nothing you’d ever seen.

Because the cold bite to the weather, you and Jake had mutually agreed to put some of the money you earned into a long stay hotel.

You felt slightly sick handing over money to the woman behind the check in desk, only worsening when she gave you a curious expression and asked if you wanted one bed or two.

You didn’t look back at Jake as you mumbled to her you only needed one, holding onto the straps of your backpack awkwardly for the rest of the interaction and as you made your way down the hallway.

“Home sweet home.” You muttered with a sigh as you propped the door open, tossing your backpack over onto the chair in the corner and sitting on the bed with a bounce. It squeaked underneath you as you jumped slightly and Jake smiled at you.

“It’s not that bad.” He reasoned and you weren’t sure if he was serious or just trying to cheer you up.

You laid back onto the bed completely, crawling up so you could be against the pillows and sighing again as your back cracked uncomfortably from the bus ride. Jake was getting the memo and pulling the blinds closed, kicking off his shoes and joining you in the bed.

Your body was feeling slight resistance at the fact you were back in bed so early in the morning but you pushed your routined mind to quiet down as you tried to rest again.

“When we wake up I say we go for a celebratory dinner.” Jake’s tone was hushed but you could tell he was smiling.

You didn’t say anything but you laid flat on your back and scooted closer to him. He was laying on his side and watching you with a careful expression, like he was still cautious of your reactions sometimes.

Taking his hand softly, you wrapped it around your stomach so he could hold onto you and you nuzzled into his chest with your side. He looked pleasantly surprised at your sudden incline in affection and squeezed your side appreciatively.

“We have three weeks here before we need to pay any more. I think we can find work before then.” He was whispering now that you were pressed up against him, his chest vibrating your shoulder as he talked in a low tone.

“So we are staying here?” You hadn’t really considered settling down anywhere for some reason and the thought threw you.

It was like your mind was still thinking this was all temporary, that at the end of this trip you’d return back home and back to your miserable lives.

He was shrugging against you and you glanced at him, seeing his hesitant and awkward expression. You felt guilty that he was still so cautious around you and you wanted to tell him that’s not what you meant, you weren’t trying to scold him for his suggestion.

Instead, words always falling short for you, you leaned down to press him into a kiss.

He was taken back for a few seconds, not at all expecting you to move let alone touch him, but then he was immediately pushing back into you and accepting your sudden kiss. You kissed for a few dozen seconds, slow and innocent until he instinctively squeezed his hand that was around your side.

You pulled back to look at him and his eyes were shooting all around you face, breathing slightly hard as you watched him sink back into that familiar headspace.

“Take your shirt off.” It wasn’t worded as a question but you raised your eyebrow so he would understand he could say no, this was his chance to deny you.

Of course he didn’t, shooting up immediately and tugging his hoodie and shirt over his head. His fluffy hair was left a mess from his haste to remove them and you glanced down at his chest for a while before saying anything.

Then you were shifting slightly and following suit, pulling your sweater off and trying hard to not flush at the sudden widening of his eyes and mouth. He was looking at you intensely and then looking away like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to be seeing you shirtless. You almost laughed at him as his hands started to shake from their place on the bed.

“Kiss me.” You instructed and after a few seconds of bewildered hesitance he was following your orders.

Your hands went around his back, his warm skin under your palms getting goosebumps at the feeling of your icy hands. He wasn’t touching you at first, hesitating and hovering over parts of your body like he’d burn up if he touched any part of your skin.

Eventually he was resting them on your hips, touching your pant waistline instead of your shirtless top half and you almost scolded him before deciding against it.

You led his body so he’d lay back down with you, placing him on his back and crawling over him so your body was sprawled on his. He groaned slightly into your mouth as you pressed your weight down on top of him and it sent an ache to your core.

He’d stopped kissing you to try and process the feeling of your bare chest pressed tightly on his and you frowned slightly, kissing his parted lips and trying to get him focused back on you. Slowly but surely he was out of his trance and aggressively connecting your lips again, a hand coming up to your hair as he cupped the back of your head.

“Jake.” You gasped into his mouth and he tensed for a few seconds before humming in question. “Please touch me.”

He was pulling back in confusion, hesitance on his face when he glanced down at your bodies and tried to understand what part of yours you were referring to. You laughed softly at his expression and gestured to your exposed skin as an answer.

His pretty face was flushing bright red as he nodded with a suddenly determined look on his face, you found it cute he was seemingly preparing himself to touch you.

You kissed him again to try and keep his mind off of it for now, letting him push back into you and turn his head slightly so you could kiss deeper and deeper. Jake’s movements were quick and eager, desperate for you to keep going even when he wasn’t quite sure where you were planning to take things during times like this.

His blind trust in you felt good and you felt a sick sense of satisfaction at the knowledge he’d do anything you asked with little to no question.

His big warm hands were touching you finally now, spread against your back in a stiff position as he tried to get used to being with you like this. You could tell he wasn’t focusing on kissing anymore and just mindlessly following along as he started to rub your skin with a new found fascination.

“Quit being so cute.” You mumbled against his mouth and he breathed a laugh.

“Can’t help it.” He teased back and he was pleased when you chuckled softly, rarely laughing in general let alone at one of his jokes. “I could do this forever.”

His sudden confession stumped you and you tried to not visibly show the affect him saying that had on you, a soft blush rising to your cheeks. He didn’t even seem to register what he was saying, mindlessly speaking in a content tone as the two of you laid close together.

“Forevers a long time.” You whispered back eventually and you kissed him again briefly, shifting on top of him so he could breathe a little. He wasn’t complaining about your weight on him at all, liking the feeling of being underneath you.

“Not nearly long enough if you ask me.” He was blushing too now and you were sure the pair of you looked like any regular couple on vacation, in love with no responsibilities and naive to the world around you.

“Do you mean that?” A wave of insecurity hit you when you asked and he looked at you incredulously, like he couldn’t fathom why you wouldn’t believe him.

He was kissing your forehead in a manner far sweeter than what you were just doing, a hand leaving your back to brush your hair from your face gently and cup your cheek. It was strange being on the receiving end of movements you normally did to him, tensing slightly as he touched you. “Why wouldn’t I mean that?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and mumbled although you certainly did have an idea of where your thought process was stemming from. You remembered who he was briefly, the knowledge you could tell him and he wouldn’t judge you or get upset resurfacing. “I’m the only one you’ve even been with.”

“So you think I picked you because you were there and taught me stuff?” He whispered in an understanding tone, trying to make sense of what you were implying without being accusatory.

You nodded hesitantly and he frowned, caressing your cheek. It was strange to be so vulnerable for you and you hoped he wasn’t too thrown off by your change of demeanor, feeling stupid suddenly for pausing your actions to bring this up.

He was kissing you again, quickly like he was trying to ground you back to reality and you met his gaze.

“I’d choose you no matter the circumstances.” He finally said and your eyes softened at his firm voice that left no room for question. “If we met 100 years from now I would have chose you.”

“That’s dramatic.” You smiled down at him and his thumb was wiping high up on your cheekbone, making you realize you’d been teary eyed. “What if you were married?”

He pretended to think for a few seconds, raising an eyebrow in contemplation before smiling and flipping you over so he was on top of you now. You were laughing as you turned, a big toothy grin on your face at his antics and he steadied himself over you.

“If I was married,” He started and you nodded in anticipation, biting your lip to stop from smiling at him. “Well I wouldn’t marry anybody but you.”

You groaned at his cop out answer and he leaned down to kiss your nose as it scrunched up. “That’s cheating, answer like you’re married.”

“Tell me what you’d do.” You rolled your eyes as he changed the subject onto you but you still genuinely thought it over, watching him with a careful expression.

He was still leaning over you with a smile on his face, his cheeks slightly red from blushing earlier or maybe the cold. His hair was flopping into his forehead and you briefly wondered if he’d ever worn his hair like this before you met, before you left home.

“I’d only marry you too.” You were whispering and his smile fell slightly as he looked at the serious expression on your face. Then it was coming back and he was attacking your face with his lips causing you to squeal and move around frantically underneath him.

After his attack he was kissing you normally and you took in a deep breath, wrapping your arms around his back and hugging him tight against you.

You kissed like that for a while longer, weirdly slow and sweet unlike every time previously and you felt slightly giddy at the innocence of just wanting to be close to each other despite being the most naked you’d ever been together.

“Let’s go get dinner.” You were saying into a kiss after a bit had passed and he nodded his head, kissing you one more time before sitting up and helping you do the same.

He didn’t look at you as you moved from under him and stood beside the bed, trying to find your discarded shirt that got lost somewhere in the covers. You watched him avoid your side of the room with a half smirk, wondering if he had looked at you at all this entire time.

The two of you finished getting dressed, wrapping your scarf tightly around Jake’s neck before you went, and found your way back outside.

The city was busy and you awkwardly joined into the flow of foot traffic, trying to look casual and not totally out yourself as lost tourist. Eventually you got the hang of the pacing and you locked your arm in Jake’s, keeping him pulled tight to you so you didn’t separate.

You made it a few blocks before you were stopping in front of a random restaurant and you glanced at Jake who had been uncharacteristically silent the entire time. He offered you a soft nod of approval and you squeezed his arm in reassurance, assuming he was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the complete change in atmosphere.

He didn’t say anything but he gave you a small smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and the two of you braved it into the restaurant.

He relaxed after you ordered and were able to eat, enjoying a meal and talking about your day and complaining about the travel time like you were regular people who had just gotten home for the holidays. You wondered if anybody sitting around you could overhear, if they’d be able to tell what you’d been through or piece together the bruises on Jake’s face.

After you ate you decided not to go back to the hotel just yet, exploring more of the city and stopping to enjoy views and sights you’d never seen before.

“There’s so many people.” Jake was remarking from the bench you were sitting on. It was on the outskirts of a small park that had a good view of the city and lots of other couples and families were sat around you enjoying the same thing.

“It’s kind of nice right? Nobody is paying any attention to us.” You were fidgeting with your scarf that he was wearing as you spoke and he nodded softly. “Maybe we can call Heeseung tonight.”

He glanced at you with excited eyes and you smiled affectionately at him, patting his cheek softly and avoiding the bruising.

You sat there for a while longer before the cold settled in even more as it got dark, so you stood slowly and pulled him up with you. The two of you made your way back to the hotel and you felt a lot more content than you had when you originally arrived, more familiar with the area and pacing now that you’d had time to explore and take it all in.

When you got back inside and took off your shoes and jackets, Jake was racing to the hotel phone and dialing in the Lee’s number.

He sat there holding his breath as it dialed and you watched him from the bed, knowing when his eyes widened and a bright smile broke out on his face that somebody had picked up on the other side.

You went and took a shower while they talked animatedly and by the time you came out they were still going, although when he caught sight of you draped in towels, Jake was thrusting the phone in your direction with a grin as he awkwardly avoiding looking at you.

“Hello?” You hesitantly spoke into the phone, something you weren’t quite used to considering the fact you didn’t really have anybody you needed to call back home, most people being less than a ten minute bike ride away from you at all times.

“Hey Y/N.” Heeseung’s low voice was cracking through the phone speaker and you smiled softly although he couldn’t see it. “I just wanted to see how you were doing, I didn’t expect you guys to actually call honestly.”

“Of course we’d call.” You shook your head and sat down on the bed next to Jake who tensed slightly because of your bare skin.

“Yeah that’s what Jake said.” He let out a breathy laugh and you could hear him fidgeting with something like he was nervous. “So um, my mom said that if you wanted and if the trip wasn’t too bad maybe you guys could come back here for Christmas?”

You didn’t say anything and the phone line went silent, the low buzzing of static being the only noise you could hear other than your heart beating quickly. He cleared his throat on the other side like he was worried you hadn’t heard him.

“Like,” Your voice cracked and you felt Jake’s hand on your knee. “Spend Christmas with you guys?”

“Well yeah but only if you want to and if you found a job by then my mom can help you look for housing in your price range, she’s really good at that, then you wouldn’t need to stay in hotel anymore. Not that there’s anything wrong with staying in a hotel, Jake said there might even be a pool which is super cool, but you know just so-“

“Heeseung.” You cut him off and he sucked in a deep breath, falling off into a mumble after he realized he had been rambling nonstop. “I think that’d be really great.”

You felt Jake sway against your side, leaning into you and you gave him a small smile, feeling a lot better now that you had a place to go for the holidays.

Heeseung and you talked for a few minutes longer, Jake listening in from beside you and occasionally adding his own comments as he tiredly rubbed his eyes and yawned a few times. You eventually said goodnight and the two of you promised you’d call again as soon as things were settled, hanging up the phone and crawling back into bed.

“Are you not going to get dressed?”

Jake was mumbling with a small blush on his face and you were shrugging, hearing the pillow crinkle under your movements.

“Do I need to get dressed?” You whispered back, raising an eyebrow in his direction and drinking in the way his eyes shot down to your towel and then back up to your face quickly like he hadn’t meant to do it.

He didn’t say anything but he was moving over towards you on the bed, climbing over you so he could hover there as he leaned down to kiss you urgently. You laughed against his lips at his sudden movements and you felt him poke your side because of your teasing.

It was easy to forget where you were in that moment, how uncertain things were and how much harder they’d get once this night was passed and you needed to start getting your life together on your own for the first time. You didn’t think about how far you were from home or the consequences of getting caught.

You laid there in bed, kissing a boy who had given up his faith for you and he warmed you even as the snow started to fall just outside the hotel window.

It’d never felt so easy to have skin on skin.

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