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lana-llama-in-pajamas · 24 days

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thick as blood

sweet as milk

pt.3

you woke up sore and oddly over heated, you opened your eyes to see something a 12 year old boy would dream up both the twins cuddled up to you arms hugging you close, you looked down to see you were in a nightgown and they were in slips they possibly wore under their dresses from last night. Els leg was wrapped in cellophane probably fearful of the wound bleeding through you smiled softly looking up at your ceiling hearing their breathing synced together, the smell of their French perfumes with the combination of sweat was actually pretty calming (damn twins are in your bed even before Francis 💀)

you closed your eyes again wanting to catch a bit more rest before getting up for the day, what felt like minutes was actually an hour. you woke up again with the twins gone, you got up rubbing your eyes walking out to the living room hearing talking "you think she's even eaten a meal a day?" a deeper feminine voice asked it wasn't the twins " I don't think you could call bread and jam a meal" another voice said, you peeked in the kitchen to see the twins, mia and gloria all in the kitchen. gloria cooking on the stove as mia and sel unpacked groceries putting them in the proper places, elenois sat at the window mixing something in a bowl. you felt so cared for, your pain from your injuries disappearing for a second, you got caught by mia who walked over with selenne "your awake! so sorry we let ourselves in dear" mia hugged you gently before selenne wrapped her arm around your shoulders "you should go shower we're making brunch" you nodded "no worries miss stone but please send me the receipt for the food" you spoke softly realizing your voice was still strained "oh don't insult me y/n I'm not hurting for money, now go get cleaned up I'm gonna make some tea" she pushed you to the bathroom making selenne giggle walking back to the kitchen

you did strip yourself of your slip and bandages examining yourself in the mirror, bruises kissed your body with indents of the stairs in your back. the memory of the creatures claws ran across your legs with your ankle matching Elenois, it was lightly scarred so you washed yourself gently hissing anytime you had to bend down. you left the shower walking back to your room to change, the girls brought out the table into the living room filling it foods and spare plates, you changed into something less formal putting on some music to lighten your mood

everyone gathered in the livingroom, sitting and passing plates as gloria sat near you looking over your vinyls ¨you do got some bad bruises baby¨ she gently grabbed your arm looking it over, you hissed a little making her let go ¨sorry baby¨ she handed the first loaded plate to you ¨come sit and eat, we know damn well you havent had a vegtable since you came in¨ you smiled thanking the sweet woman trying your best to be polite while eating but she was right you were starving, honestly its a miracle you were able to fight the equivelent of a animal on bread, fruit jam and milk alone. everyone ate and talked as gloria filled your plate to replace what you had ate whispering ¨your in your home, eat with the hunger you have¨ hearing that had you eating mouthfuls only listening to the conversation instead ¨natcha and her little one wouldve come but natcha didnt want her to overwhelm you with questions¨ mia said to you ¨she got you and the twins flowers though¨ you nodded finishing your 2nd plate ¨ill need to send her a thank you note soon¨ everyone nodded in agreement as a knock was heard at the door, you got up wiping your mouth opening it slowly to show most of the men ¨honey i thought you were at work¨ gloria asked as everyone walked over ¨i was but im on lunch, here you go miss l/n your one courageous little lady¨ arnold passed you a small bouquet and kissed his wife good bye then one after another your other neighbors gave you gifts of gratitude, even lois margeret and raftellyn came in with food n flowers low key inviting themselves in.

at the very end natasha came and held up a tin tray to you ¨my mom is at work but she made this for you or whatever¨ you smiled taking the tray and placing on on the table with everything else ¨your mom does so much tell her thank you for me¨ you bent down to talk with her ¨....yeah ok.....did it bite you? are you infected with something? my mom said you saved us and killed it or whatever, does that mean your a murderer or a monster killer?¨ she kept asking things making your head swim but luckily you had a savior ¨she's a monster killer. a hero little Natasha.¨ Francis said sternly also holding a gift in his hands ¨oooh ok....whatever bye hero lady¨ she said waving and walking out ¨here Natasha take a plate¨ mia walked over leading her back to her door ¨uh....um thank you ¨ you looked up blushing ¨for?¨ he asked putting down the basket of fruit and wine bottle in his hands ¨err...uh everything, carrying me, bringing me this¨ you gestured to the basket ¨telling the little one I'm a hero..¨ you looked down intimidated by his hard gaze ¨those gifts are from the DDD. I didn't get the memo we were making your apartment a floral shop.¨ it almost sounded like a joke but he said it so blankly with irritation ¨oh well would you like a pla-¨ ¨you didn't get her something?¨ Margarette said loudly ¨for shame young man she pulled a gun out what could you pull? a bottle of milk?¨ she laughed as the others giggled uncomfortably ¨like I said I didn't get the memo. but I will show my gratitude¨ you turned beet red wondering what he meant by this, the twins felt your forehead ¨you should sit, Francis please help yourself¨ they brought you back to the couch as Francis followed Lois made him a plate and sat right by him ¨aside from this loud mouth, I didn't know you had those types of muscles Francis" god you were uncomfy now "i carry crates of milk i think its self explanatory" he shot back making Lois flustered by the full stop, at this point you weren't sure if Natasha was his, it seems like he doesn't have a filter...or feelings.

soon the awkward feelings subsided and everyone talked about their jobs, marriage and mia's and the dr's wedding plans.

you were in the kitchen looking over your gifts, mostly flowers and chocolate but it seems the Dr. got you a jewelry set, and so did the cappuccin's. the flowers came with cards you read and stacked together, one stuck out to you .

the fruits basket and wine.

it was champagne and fancy fruits (just to set the scene mangos and kiwis were considered 'exotic' in this era) you read the card

dear y/n you did well, enjoy your week off. another agent will take your place so don't let your guard down completely but do relax. rex

you smiled grabbing 2 vases of flowers wondering where to put them. Francis put his plate in the sink staring at you as he leaned against it "...you know who also hasn't gifted you anything....Gauss" he spoke lowly, was he...talking gossip? "why do you think?" you entertained him preening one of the flowers "he feels emasculated. since he isn't the American hero he's pissed" he chuckled making you shiver a little, it made sense though gauss seemed the macho type but that didn't matter , it was the way he said 'American hero' it was very accented "are you not emasculated by me Francis?" you asked walking closer to him even if your knees started to feel like jelly with every step "not at all, i was raised by strong women." he looked down at your level as you could breath in his cologne, strong sweet and alcohol like. " Francis i wonder a lot of things about you" you spoke truthfully like his eyes pulled it out of you "i am a book y/n, you just have to open it and read" his face was so close to yours.

you were swooning, eyes fluttering as you could almost imagine his lips on yours. his cologne was like a drug putting you under, you were in a full day dream before hearing another dark quiet laugh "how unbecoming of you...you know so little about me and yet your ready to throw yourself at me" he held up your chin with his hand as if you were a dog.

he walked away excusing himself to everyone before walking out

you shuddered taking a deep breath hoping to smell him one last time "he teased me....the bastard teased me and left."

im sorrry it tookk so looooongg!!! but here it is my loves enjoy!!! let me know if you like or hate (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

#milkman x reader #thats not my neighbour milkman #thats not my neighbor #francis mosses #francis mosses x reader #francis mosses x you

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phoward89 · 2 months

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Banner by me. Dividers by @saradika

Summary: Coriolanus took his wife out, in more ways than one, while you were safe and sound in his 12th floor Corso penthouse. But when you see a breaking news report, you realize that the man you share a bed with is a snake. A snake that kills with poison. And you decide to confront him about your knowledge of poisons.

Warnings: Coriolanus Snow is his own warning! Possessive!Coriolanus, Obsessive!Coriolanus, DelusionalCoriolanus, Dark!Coriolanus, Soft Dark!Coriolanus?, Head Gamemaker!Coriolanus, Poison, Murder, Blood, Plotting/Scheming Couple, um think that's about it

Story Masterlist

Chapter 5

Coriolanus sipped on his wine, watching his wife look around the dining room impatiently. She was fidgeting in her seat; it was embarrassing.

He was paying good money on a meal that they'd never eat, cause she'd be dead soon and he'd be hacking up blood. The least Livia could do was conduct herself properly in public.

The damn shrew was impossible to train. So impatient. Greedy, spoiled, rich bitch was so used to getting her way that waiting a few extra minutes for their seafood appetizer was too much to handle.

God, he's so happy that he dumped that vial of poison in their wine bottle (that he had the waiter leave on their table) after convincing his vain wife that she needed to powder her nose; that it was too shiny.

Soon, very very soon the poison will kick in and Livia will drop dead.

Not him though.

No, he won't die, but he'll get sick though since he's only partially immune to this strong, but sweet tasting poison that pairs so well with the vintage Merlot.

Truth be told, the side effects of the poison he was drinking tonight would stick with him for more than a few hours.

In fact Coriolanus would be stuck in bed recovering for a good week or so. A recovery that would consist of being weak, spitting up blood, and not being able to keep anything other than liquids down.

“Why is it taking so long for our appetizer?” Livia whined, turning to sit properly in her seat. She was giving him an impatient look.

He's sure the oysters rockefeller will be out any minute now.

Just in time for the fun to begin.

“Well, Livia, they do have to cook it.” He sarcastically reminded his soon to be dead wife.

“Don't be condescending with me, Coriolanus. I'm your wife, not some whore from a black market brothel you can speak down to.” The dirty blonde scolded him in an uppity tone while reaching for her wine.

Yes, drink up.

Right now Coriolanus was ecstatic that his nearly dead wife was a lush. The more wine she drank meant the quicker he's rid of her.

Oooo… a poisoning death has never made him more happy then hers.

He couldn't wait for her to start bleeding from her nose and choking on her own blood that'd clog her lungs.

Putting down his glass, he subtly motioned to the waiter making his way to their table. “The oysters rockefeller’s on its way now, Livia.”

“You know, husband, that most men call their wives a pet name; not use their name every time they speak to them.” Livia snapped as the waiter got closer to the table, tray of oyster appetizers in his hand.

“Yes well most husbands love their wives, yet here we are just barely tolerating each other for money and social standings.” Coriolanus factually states, his eyes following the waiter’s every move.

Livia chugged down her wine as the waiter appeared at the table, placing the appetizer tray down on the white linen tablecloth. “Finally. It took you long enough.” Livia rudely remarked, causing the waiter to quickly apologize and leave.

“Your manners are atrocious, Livia.” Coriolanus pointed out as he served them their appetizer.

Fortunately, in a few minutes, he'll never have to deal with her atrocious manners ever again. He'll be free to be with you; he knows that since you're young he can train you. Make sure that you act properly, know your place by his side and as the First Lady of Panem.

“And you parade around like some gentleman when you both know that you have degenerate desires and urges.”

“Livia…” he hissed in a low warning. Why was she bringing this up here, in a crowded restaurant where anyone could overhear? Did she have any decency, any respect for him?

No.

She doesn't, otherwise she wouldn't be insulting his sexual preferences while they’re at her last super.

Ignoring his hissed warning, Livia scooped a small piece of oyster up with her fork while telling her husband, “People are starting to talk, Coriolanus, in the social circles about us being married for so long and not having any children.”

“And whose fault is that, Livia?” Coriolanus asked, taking a bite of his own seafood appetizer. “You're the one that refuses to share a bed with me. Who's shot me down anytime I attempt to bring up the subject of children.” He reminded her as his nose began to burn, tingle, and twitch with the telltale signs of an upcoming nose bleed.

Yes, any second now his wife’ll be dead and he'll be free of his life sentence. He'll be free to make you his in every sense of the word.

“I've been told that there's a clinic that specializes in reproductive matters. That the doctor at the clinic is able to collect the necessary products from us to make an embryo in a lab; that we could even have it implanted into a female avox as a surrogate so that I wouldn't have to touch you or ruin my body by getting fat.”

Was she serious right now? She expected him to be on board with having a science baby? A baby supposedly made from their collected samples and mixed up in a test tube, in a lab.

In a lab.

Coriolanus remembers his time studying and interning under Dr. Gaul, before that terrible accident she had right before he graduated University and was given her Head Gamemaker job. He remembers the experiments that took place in the labs. How creatures were created out of thin air with a few strands of DNA samples. How easily DNA could be twisted and mutated into a creature so vile, so horrible, so deadly.

No.

He wasn't going to have a mutt for a child. Especially one carried by an avox.

No, he was going to have children the old fashioned way with you. And he'll make sure that you enjoy making them too.

Livia’s eyes went wide and she dropped her fork, causing it to loudly clatter onto the bone china plate. Blood began to trickle down her nostrils as she grabbed her neck, clawing at it in a vain attempt for air.

Oh, show time. The poison’s kicked in.

Coriolanus knew what to expect in the seconds to come, he's been through it before. So, deciding that he wanted the last word, he leaned in close to Livia and simply told her, “Snow lands on top.”

When he sat back, blood began to trickle from his own nose, along with rising from his stomach and filling up his mouth.

By this point, blood poured from Livia’s mouth and she was choking on it.

All the while the dining room of Avelina's was full of screams and terrified cries from the elite capitolites whose meals were now ruined.

Coriolanus watches the life drain out of his wife's eyes as he began coughing up blood.

It was a beautiful sight to behold.

You were in a cozy sweater, curled up on the sofa with a steaming cup of tea in your hand. You sent Tigris home hours ago because, even though she was very nice to you, you couldn't handle how she looked at you.

How she treated you like you're made out of fragile glass.

Even though Coryo was a bit much with his hot-cold behavior, he didn't treat you like you're made out of fragile glass. In fact it felt like the opposite. That he wasn't afraid if he shattered you, if you broke.

Coriolanus wasn't purposely trying to break you, or at least you didn't think he was, but he didn't watch his tongue and tiptoe around you.

He was blunt with you; treated you like a person instead of a victim of the games.

Coryo had no problems treating you like a woman, that's for sure. Your status as a victor that had seen horrors in the arena did nothing to deter him from his dominant nature in bed with you.

You know that you shouldn't seek solace with the head gamemaker, the man that designed the arena along with all the twists and turns of this July’s games, but you couldn't help but feel like he was the only one that treated you like a normal human being.

Coriolanus knew, perhaps better than anyone else, the horrors you've seen in the games and he didn't pity you. In fact, the way he looked at you seemed to be almost prideful.

His icy blue eyes also held a sense of lust and possession in them too, but you swore he saw pride in them.

Maybe you were overthinking everything. The way he felt about you didn't matter: he was married.

Of course he was married, he was 15 years older than you.

As you sipped on your tea, you couldn't help, but worry about how your brother and his girlfriend would treat you when you (eventually) went home. Would they tread lightly with you like Tigris does or would they treat you like they did before you left? Would Rein and Ashlie view you as different, would they pity you?

And then the thought of the neighbor boy, the freshly 15 year old Corbin Everdeen, popped into your head.

Would he stop chasing your heels like a puppy; think that you were horrible for killing 7 people in the Hunger Games, or would he still chase you around? Still pester you to listen to whatever song he was working on for his weekend performances at the hob, once you returned to 12?

You think being the Victor of the First Quarter Quell will make Corbin (who Rein felt was a borderline stalker with how he was always finding ways to be around you) leave you alone since he hated the games. He felt that the games changed people; either made them murderers or drove them mad out of their minds with paranoia. He felt that if you got reaped then you should just let yourself be struck down in the bloodbath in order to preserve your identity; to keep the Capitol from stealing and corrupting your soul.

You didn't do what the neighbor boy musician told you to do.

No.

You did what your older brother told you to do. You fought to survive. You did whatever it took to make it out alive.

You trained in those 2 weeks you were given in the tribute center, you listened to the Academy student that was assigned as your mentor (since District 12 didn't have a living victor to mentor you), and you dazzled the audience in your interview.

The gorgeous dresses that Tigris made for you helped sell you as the Capitol Darling too.

It all came in handy when you received a training score of 8 (your mentor thought that you deserved at least a 10 and she was livid that the gamemakers only gave you an 8) and received a few sponsors from it.

You took your brother's advice to heart and did what you had to do to survive. But now you're here, sitting in the head gamemaker’s penthouse while pondering whether or not you'll ever have people treat you normally ever again.

Some reward for winning, huh?

And to think that they tell you once you win you'll go home; will be able to live your life in peace.

Like fucking hell.

That's not what's happening to you right now.

Nope…

So, since you had no control over anything in your life right now, all you could do was sip on your hot tea and watch some rom-com on Capitol TV.

It was amazing how Coriolanus’ TV had more than 3 channels. It also amazes you how the thing took up most of his wall in the main room too.

As you watched the couple on TV do the classic coworkers fake dating for the winter holidays to make the girl's ex jealous trope, you couldn't help, but miss your cat. She used to curl up in your lap when you watched tv.

Suddenly, right as the couple on TV was fumbling thru their fake meet story, a breaking news report interrupted the movie.

You couldn't help, but sigh as you listened to the reporter at the news desk say, “We here at Capitol News 6 are so sorry to be interrupting your programs, but we have just gotten some horrible and heartbreaking, well, breaking news.” The reporter took a moment to put on a sad face and take a silent pause before announcing, “Socialite Livia Cardew-Snow, wife of Head Gamemaker Coriolanus Snow, died of sudden food poisoning merely an hour ago in the Capitol restaurant Avelina’s. Our beloved head gamemaker himself is currently being treated at Capitol General and is expected to make a full recovery.”

What?

Your wheels are turning. You knew that botulism took 48 hours to kill and salmonella had different levels of severity, but wouldn't just cause somebody to drop dead in the middle of a restaurant.

There was only one reason for Livia's sudden death and Coriolanus' sudden near death experience that he'd recover from.

He poisoned his wife and himself, but with not as high of a dose that he gave his wife, and made it look like food poisoning because they were at a restaurant.

What the hell?! How could he be so reckless? What if he accidentally gave himself a fatal dose, then where would that leave you?

That damn snake…

“Let’s go live to our favorite weather and reporter for all things game related, Lucretius ‘Lucky’ Flickerman, who’s with our beloved Head Gamemaker Coriolanus Snow in his hospital room.” The news desk reporter said before the screen cut to live footage of Lucky Flickerman standing next to Coriolanus, who was sitting up in a hospital bed.

You took one look at Coriolanus and knew what kind of poison he used. He used a toxic metal based poison made from either cadmium, selenium, or arsenic.

It's the only kind of poison that would've killed Livia Cardew-Snow so quickly; would leave Coryo coughing up blood and looking so pale and weak in his hospital bed.

You knew about the dangers of metals such as cadmium, selenium, and arsenic leaching into water and turning it into poison from your brother's career as a coal miner. It's the reason why he won't use the water at the mines; why he brings his own in a large glass jug with him to work.

Rein told you that when new shafts are carved into the coal mines or when new mines were blown into the side of the mountains that the leftover rubble gets dumped to the side where it leeches and runs off into water, creating poison for anyone who drinks it.

You've seen the effects of the poisoned mine water too when you started your short lived internship at the apothecary right before you got reaped.

It wasn't pretty.

But the few men that survived, mostly young men that were still in their teens or early 20s, spat up blood, had mouth sores, ulcers, and could barely eat for weeks while they recovered and fought the poison.

They had the same weak, pale, sunk in look that Coriolanus had right now as he laid in his hospital bed telling some bullshit story to the media about the food poisoning that killed Livia and nearly killed him.

Oh, you swear, you're giving him a piece of your mind when he shows up at the penthouse.

And you knew he'd show up since he killed his wife to be able to have you in his bed.

God, you're now sharing a bed with a snake.

“You should be asleep, darling.” Coriolanus chastised you, walking into the main room of the penthouse in the wee hours of the morning.

He looked like shit. Had blood dripping from the side of his mouth.

God, you were so pissed at him. Before you could think better of it, you chucked your teacup at his head, but it just went over his shoulder and shattered against the wall. “You want to off your wife with poison, fine, but don't drink the damn shit yourself, Coriolanus!” You angrily screamed.

“I don't know what you're talking about, Y/N. I got food poisoning from bad seafood; unfortunately it killed my wife.” Coriolanus smoothly lied, his face an unwavering mask.

“I interned at the apothecary in District 12 before I got reaped, Coriolanus. I've seen the signs of cadmium, selenium, and arsenic poisoning since the water from the mines is tainted from it.” You bluntly told the platinum blonde while standing to your feet. Walking up to him, you said, “You have the signs. You're coughing up blood, you're pale and your face looks sunk in.” His icy blue eyes narrowed at you. “Bet you got a sore in your mouth, if not then it'll pop up soon.” Pointing to his stomach, you warned, “Watch yourself, metal based poisons are notorious for causing bleeding ulcers.”

Coryo's jaw twitched as he looked down at you. “I see you're well educated for a girl from District 12. Let me ask you, how do you feel about what I did tonight?” A dark smirk twisted on his bloodstained lips as he asked, “Are you going to be a loose end for me, my darling rose?”

“Honestly, I'm not upset that you killed your wife. What I'm upset about is that you drank that poison too. You drank it without even worrying about what would happen to me if something went wrong and you dropped dead too.”

“Darling,” Coriolanus reached out with his hand, attempting to pull you into him and comfort you, but you pushed him away.

He weakly stumbled, but balanced himself by grabbing a nearby the back of a nearby sitting chair.

“Did you even stop and think about what happens to me if you died or are incapacitated? Huh?!” You asked, on the verge of angry tears. You didn't even give him the chance to answer you. No, you just barreled on with, “Would I get sent back to 12 even though Victor's Village hasn't been built yet or would I be passed onto your successor, whoever would take your place as head gamemaker?"

“Nobody will ever get their hands on you, my darling rose.” Coryo swore as he weakly collapsed in the sitting chair. “I’ll kill anyone that tries to take you from me.” He darkly vowed while coughing up blood.

“You're going to be laid up in bed for a week, maybe 2.” You told him, watching as he took his handkerchief from his breast pocket; coughing into it. The blood spurts from his coughing stained the white cloth red, as if little rain drops had drizzled on it.

You felt bad for him, watching him struggling to breath as his chest rattled with every bloody cough he let out.

You went over to his chair and knelt by his side. You knew he wouldn't stop poisoning people. Not with the outburst that he just had. But you knew that you couldn't let him keep using dangerous metal based poisons either.

Whether you wanted to admit it or not, your red string of fate was tied to the head gamemaker. You needed him for your survival.

Taking one of his hands in yours, you revealed, “Coryo, I have an apothecary book back in my room in District 12. It has recipes for herbal remedies, medicines, poisons, and antidotes in it.”

God, you were going straight to hell for what you were going to say next.

“If you can somehow get me that book I’ll help you make poisons that won't hurt you. That you can take an antidote ahead of time for; that won't make you sick.”

Coriolanus let out a rumbling cough, soaking his handkerchief, only to look at you with a mix of astonishment and admiration in his baby blues. “You'd do that for me? Make me poisons to use on my enemies?”

You remembered what he told you in the hospital, that the Capitol was a dangerous place. Was a chess game of life; that he'd teach you how to play and master it in time.

Well, no time like the present.

“You're enemies are my enemies too, aren't they? Maybe moreso since I'm district.”

Coryo's calloused thumb ran over yours knuckles and he gave you a crimson stained smile. “You're not district, my darling rose. You're a victor, like me.”

If only you knew how damning those words truly were. Would you have tried to get away or would you have still let the white snake wrap himself around you.

But you were a snake as well, weren't you? For only a snake could truly feel safe with another snake.

Where you always a snake or did you just choose to become one because you were drawn to the dark beauty of a beautiful devil?

Tags: @kuroosbby001, @purriteen, @poppyflower-22, @meetmeatyourworst, @whipwhoops, @bxtchopolis, @readingthingsonhere,@savagenctzen, @ryswritingrecord, @erikasurfer, @tulips2715, @universal-s1ut, @thesmutconnoisseur, @squidscottjeans, @sudek4l, @wearemadeofstardust0, @mashiromochi , @gracieroxzy, @belcalis9503, @shari-berri, @aoi-targaryen, @whiteoakoak @spear-bearing-bi-witch , @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons, @qoopeeya, @mfnqueen1

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loveharlow · 2 years

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THE LOVE WE DESERVE

PAIRING ‧₊˚ JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader, Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

SYNOPSIS ‧₊˚ [2.9k] Where Y/N finally realizes her worth and goes after what she really wants.

WARNING(S) ‧₊˚ swearing, toxic relationship, mentions of drugs, alcohol and death, mild physical violence, guilt tripping, vague slut-shaming, mentions of cheating, a cute lil confession, Kie being a life coach

A/N ‧₊˚ This has been sitting in my drafts since the dark ages but sidenote: I am not romanticizing or condoning the relationship between Rafe and The Reader. It's not healthy and if you are ever in this situation, please talk to someone and leave for your own safety and sanity.

˗ˏˋ jj masterlist ˎˊ˗

"GO HOME."

“Rafe, Jesus- just turn around and talk to me!”

“For what?!” He stopped in his tracks, back still facing you as he threw his arms up in the air. “So you can do the same shit you always do?”

You scoffed in disbelief, crossing your arms over your chest with your tongue prodding the inside of your cheek.

“And what is it that I ‘always do’, Rafe?” You said, challenging him. "Defend my friends? When you torment them and fuck up their lives? Or beat them up with Topper while they're trying to deliver fucking groceries?"

"You're still on that-"

"Pope was bleeding, you asshole!" You shouted. "So, yeah, I am still on that-"

"Yet, you still ran back to me! Right?" He turned to you with a dark expression, taking swift steps to close the space between you both. His voice dropped to a low, condescending tone. "So- so, what does that say about you? I cave your friends face in and you stay with me. You're no saint."

He was towering over you now, veins popping in his forehead and hands clutched fiercely at his sides. Your faux hard exterior faltering in the slightest at the sight of the menacing look in his eyes. The truth was, sometimes Rafe terrified you. But you'd never allow him to know that. Never allow him to have another thing to hold over your head.

“I made you. You hear me? Without me, you're nothing but another pathetic pogue trying to fit in where she doesn't belong.” He growled, eyes never leaving your face.

“And you're nothing but a delusional fuck who thrives off of daddy's money and torments teenagers. I'm pathetic? Yet you blow all your money on coke and can't pay it back. Grow the fuck up, Rafe.” You told him off, pretending that you weren't scared. Lifting your chin and narrowing your eyes, trying to match his own annoyance.

The animosity between you and your boyfriend was nothing new. Neither was the true nature of your relationship, which was not one hidden behind closed doors. Why would it be? Rafe Cameron, Kook King, and Y/N Y/L/N, Pogue Princess. He couldn't lose anything and you had nothing to lose.

Toxic. Unhealthy. Abusive. Draining. All things your friends told you your relationship was on the daily. Any time they got the chance really. After a while, you stopped defending your relationship. Because it was true. Rafe Cameron did not love you and you did not love him.

Bitch. Not Worth The Trouble. Charity Case. Lost Cause. All insults and names that had been thrown at you by Rafe’s friends and groupies, and even himself at certain times, throughout the duration of your 6-Month relationship, if you could even call it that anymore. And the best part? All he ever did was laugh along.

He scoffed and ran his hands down his face, getting angrier by the minute.

"Y'know what? Fuck you. Go back to your side of the island and slum it up over there." He spat, swiftly turning back around to walk to his room. This spat was occuring on the second floor of The Cameron Residence. Lucky for you both, no one was home. Not this time anyway.

You couldn’t contain your sarcastic laughter. “That’s how you’re gonna be? Fuck me? My side of the island?” You gritted out, marching after him.

“You heard me. We both know you’d have a lot more fun fucking on your blondie over there.”

“Oh, here you go. When will you drop this whole, me fucking JJ behind your back, narrative?” You muttered. When Rafe reached his room, he attempted to shut the door in your face but you weren't having any of that, slamming it right back open.

“Don’t slam my fucking door.”

“Screw your door.” IYou hissed, standing in the doorway as he sat on his bed, head in his hands and elbows on his knees. “You keep accusing me of sleeping with my friends when you’re the one who actually slept with some girl you didn’t know not even a month ago-”

“I said I was sorry!” He screamed, standing up from his position and throwing his hands in the air.

“I don't care!” You yelled, your ears hot and heart racing. "Your apologies don't hold much weight when they don't mean anything, Rafe."

“Then what do you want from me?”

You sighed and let your head fall. “You know what? Nothing.” You said, lowly. Turning around to leave, not forgetting to slam his bedroom door shut on your way out.

As you navigated your way out of the mansion, you could hear the shattering of glass and falling of objects getting fainter with each step.

YOU HAD GONE TO THE CHATEAU AFTER YOUR BLOW OUT WITH RAFE. You were sitting on the porch with Kiara, drinking beers that were unfortunately warm after giving her the rundown of what happened.

“You already know what I’m going to say...”

You grunted. Kiara was never a fan of Rafe, and for good reason, but just because you were together did not change her demeanor towards the boy. She, along with the Pogues, would always hold a certain disdain towards him, even his own sister. He put them through hell. So why were you with him?

“Have you ever heard the quote ‘we accept the love we think we deserve’?” The tanned girl inquired, softly.

You scoffed humorlessly. “Are you using The Perks of Being a Wallflower to give me advice, Kie?”

She nodded. “Have you ever thought that maybe you’re only with Rafe because you think that you don’t deserve more? I just think that you're only putting yourself through this because you don’t think you deserve anything good. But that’s not true.”

“What are you? A therapist?” You tried to joke.

“I’m serious.” She said delicately, setting her beer on the ground. You had a bad habit of deflecting from serious situations and trying to laugh your way out of them. Kie was never one to fall for it.

You groaned, setting your own beer on the ground as Kiara made her way to sit next to you, throwing an arm over your shoulders. “I don’t know. Maybe?" You quizzed thoughtfully. "I don’t even like being with him. But it’s just like...I feel like I need someone. When he asked me, I wanted to say no. I was going to say no. But…”

You recall the night you and Rafe got together. It was a kegger. You had been harboring a crush on a certain tall blonde since kindergarten but it was made clear that you'd never be more than best friends. Rafe had approached you, drunk at the keg, telling you everything you longed to hear from someone else. Someone who wasn't him. You were going to say no when he popped the question, simply walk away. Rafe didn’t like Pogues, especially the ones in your circle.

This had to be a joke.

You were about to say no, until you saw JJ pressing some touron up against a tree, kissing her neck as she giggled and ran her hands through his hair.

And at that moment you decided to throw all caution to the wind, jealousy bubbling at the base of your throat as a slight glare made its way to your face. That was when you unknowingly made the worst decision of your life.

You shook your head, shaking the memory from the forefront of your mind. “It doesn’t matter.” You sighed. “What matters now is the fact that I'm trapped and I have no idea what to do about it.”

IT'D BEEN A WEEK SINCE YOU AND RAFE'S LAST ARGUMENT AND HERE YOU WERE IN THE MIDST OF ANOTHER. But this one had evolved, for whatever reason.

So, here you stood, in the parking lot of some Kook party he’d drug you out to. He was drunk, high off his ass and didn’t care that Topper and Kelce had followed you both out of the mansion, staring at you from several feet away the moment he’d dragged you out after you told him he should slow down.

“You’re so fucking stupid and one day you’re going to kill yourself!” You bellowed as he stood not even ruler's distance in front of you, your foreheads almost touching.

“What I do is none of your damn business!”

“You drug me out here! Okay? You could’ve gotten high or drunk or whatever as much as you wanted had you left me alone! But no, you had to drag me out here to... what, exactly? Show off your trophy?”

“Trust me, you're no prize...” He scoffed fiercely, speaking again before you had the chance to retaliate against his insult. "Why can't I want to go out with my girlfriend?"

“Well, it seems like you’ve got ten of those.” You snapped, alluding to the multiple women he’s cheated on you with. “Why not call the one you were with a couple weeks ago? Or the one you screwed in your truck? Or, better yet-”

You were abruptly cut off when a harsh, hard and stinging slap was left on your cheek. Your head whipping to side, hair covering your vision as your hand cradled your burning cheek. An overwhelming amount of rage flooded through you as you whipped your head back to face Rafe and pushed him away from you as hard you could, paying no mind to the pain radiating from your cheek.

Topper and Kelce stood back like the sitting ducks they were.

“Stay the hell away from me. We’re done. And I mean it this time.”

He chuckled, looking up as he ran a hand down his face. You didn’t bother to stay much longer, turning and beginning to walk away.

“No one will ever love you like I did!” He shouted behind you, You didn’t bother to turn around, simply slowing in your tracks as you recalled what Kiara had reminded you of previously…

“... I just think that you are only putting yourself through this because you don’t think you deserve anything good. But that’s not true.”

So, without another glance in his direction, you left.

IT'D BEEN ABOUT HALF AN HOUR SINCE YOU LEFT THE PARKING LOT. You'd resorted to walking since Rafe was your ride and your phone had died. You didn’t want to be alone and knowing your mother would be working late assured you that would be the case if you went home. So, you went to the next option.

Entering The Chateau, the lights were off and you could tell John B was sleep due to his loud snoring. The only light was coming from under the bathroom door, you assumed it was JJ, knowing he sometimes took late showers to clear his head without John B yelling at him not to use up all the hot water.

You smiled at the antic, but it fell when you realized that it may mean he’s stressed and suddenly, coming to vent to him about his enemy didn't seem to be the best course of action. Right when you'd decided that being home alone was better than possibly disturbing your best friend's peace, the bathroom door opened, steam curling in the air as JJ came out with a towel around his waist, ruffling his hair to rid it of water.

His eyes immediately caught you, slight surprise falling across his features.

“...I was just leaving-”

“Why? Did you need something?” He asked, concerned as always. One of the things you'd always adored about the blue-eyed blonde standing before you. Always concerned.

“It’s fine, really. Goodnight, J.” You said, motioning to leave.

He called your name, voice stern and slightly demanding, but still laced with worry. You turned back around, meeting his eyes. He motioned his head in the direction of the guest room, a silent invitation. One that you hesistantly accepted.

JJ had gotten dressed quickly and was now sitting next to you on the bed, hair slightly damp and an earthy yet ocean-like scent radiating off of him. “You wanna tell me why you showed up here this late?” he asked, cautiously.

You sighed and played with your hands, a tactic you used to buy yourself time. One he knew all too well as he put his hand over both of your own, a silent command to stop and talk to him.

You took a deep breath and finally made eye contact with him but was interrupted when he brushed a finger down your cheek, leaving a tingling trail on your face in his wake. “What happened?” He whispered, inspecting your cheek. It still stung, but not as much, a lingering pain. “Who hit you?” He asked. You didn’t think Rafe had hit you that hard.

“I broke up with Rafe...” You muttered meekly. “You can see how that played out.”

JJ’s jaw suddenly clenched and his eyebrows furrowed, when he saw that you noticed his expression, it softened. His hand fell from your cheek as he stood from the mattress. “I’ll be right back, okay?” You nodded, although curious.

He returned minutes later with an ice-pack, which was just ice cubes in a ziploc bag that were covered with a damp rag. He used one hand to lift your chin, as the other held the cold bag to your bruising cheek, eliciting a small hiss from you and a ‘sorry’ from the boy in front of you.

It was a silent few minutes before he spoke. “I don’t want to come off as a dick but I can’t say I’m surprised.” He was looking into your eyes now, and he saw as you rolled them, getting annoyed because you knew he was right but also knowing you didn’t come here to be lectured and reprimanded for your mistakes.

He saw the annoyance cloud your expression and quickly recovered. “I'm not blaming you. I would never, And believe me, I’m gonna kick his ass the next he shows his face anywhere.” He shrugged, but there was evident anger underneath.

“J…”

“No. Don’t. This-” He motioned for your injured cheek. “-Isn’t okay. He can’t get away with everything.”

“But he does.” You whispered.

JJ sighed. “Hold this.” He told you as he released the ice pack into your possession while he moved towards the dresser, grabbing a t-shirt from inside. “You want shorts too?” he asked.

“No.” You answered, taking the shirt and handing him the ice-pack to hold. You stood up, not bothering to exit the room to change as JJ had seen you in less than a shirt and bottoms before, you sleeping in the guest room with him becoming a common occurrence. Still, he turned around not wanting to be intrusive.

“I still don’t know why you went out with him in the first place.”

You kept quiet. You could've taken this opportunity to tell JJ the truth, that went out with him because you knew you could never be with him. Because you knew JJ would never look at you in the way you would fall to your knees and beg him you to.

Silence fell over the room as you let the large shirt fall over your frame. Folding your own clothes into a pile on the floor in the corner of the room. You was about to tell JJ he could turn back around when you came to a realization.

“Actually, JJ?” You started, not making any move to face him. “I went out with Rafe because I didn’t think I’d ever have a chance with you.” You confessed, blood rushing to your face as your heart rate increased, feeling the organ thump within the confines of your rib cage. You weren't even sure if you'd said it loud enough that he heard you.

You didn’t know if he’d turned around because you refused to look at him out of fear of rejection or embarrassment, you weren't sure which one.

“I’ve had the biggest crush on you since I met you but it was like anytime I thought there was something between us, someone or something took all of that hope away. The way I feel about you? I’ve never felt this way about anyone. And you treated me like I was worth something when didn’t believe I was. So, yeah I fucked up. I got involved with someone I knew I could never love because at least then it wouldn’t hurt if everything went wrong. I wouldn’t be surprised or shocked. I took the easy way out.” You said, all in one breath. You made no moves, just continued staring at the wall until you felt a hand ease it’s way up the back of your neck, cold from the ice pack that was previously in his hands.

It sent a chill down your spine, prompting you to close your eyes. “I’m just as bad as you are.” He whispered, the other hand encircling your waist and pulling you against him. “I thought someone like you could never love someone like me. So anytime I felt whatever we had getting too close or intimate, I ruined it. It was shitty and selfish but I thought it was for the best. Because I’d rather have you as a friend than screw up and end up not having you at all. All those girls, they did nothing for me. Just distractions and sometimes even reminders of what I couldn’t have. What I wouldn't allow myself to have.”

He turned you around to face him, opening your eyes to meet his.

“What does this mean?” You muttered, nervous.

“I’m willing to give this a shot if you are…” he whispered, lips getting closer to yours by the second. When he was centimeters away from your lips he stopped leaning, as if he was waiting to see what you'd do.

Your eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips, until you closed the gap that was separating you both, colliding your lips with his.

feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.

©loveharlow

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ystrike1 · 4 months

Text

If You Save an Immoral Beast - By Hesha (7/10)

The perfect opening. Great characters. Good motivations. These are the ingredients to any good story, but the random superpowers ruin this one. I'm not saying it's unreadable, but it drops from great to mediocre by chapter four.

Lee is a slave. His mom was killed in front of him. He was sold into child labor. He keeps a bar clean. A certain bar called Night Butterfly, where the most beautiful slaves earn clients and money for their masters.

This is Pierre. An experienced slave trader who just so happens to own Lee. The brothel district is a fairly lawless place. It's easy for Pierre to control all of his products. Lee is a kid with no family who sleeps behind a stripper bar.

Nobody is gonna save him.

Reality is cruel.

Lee knows what happens to slaves who are old, ugly or otherwise useless. They are left disfigured in underground cells. The woman who cared for him had her mouth burned off. She never saw the sun. Her job involves tailoring clothes for new slaves and helping them bathe when they're injured, and total isolation outside of that.

The cells are where disobedient unwanted slaves go.

Lee decides he wants to live, and that means he needs to be wanted.

He decides to seduce clients who visit Night Butterfly. It's a very dangerous gamble, and he loses every time. He's looking for a golden goose. A noble lady that can satisfy his greedy owner.

Pierre knows he's trying to escape.

Lee is punished brutally.

Sounds like a standard backstory right?

Nope.

Lee is extra ruthless. He literally has no conscience. He's been living behind the bar since he was like ten. He knows how to manipulate lonely women. He catfishes all of them. He tells his rich clients he loves them, and they take on a risk too. His lovers try to free him with expensive mercenaries, secret ship voyage tickets and gold.....but it doesn’t work.

Pierre has the women whipped.

Beaten horribly.

It happens to all of Lee's "lovers".

He watches them bleed, and he doesn’t give half a shit.

Asha is from a completely different life. A prestigious Count household hired her. She is supporting her sick mother and she is a skilled domestic worker. She is a great cook and a quick wit that helps the manor solve daily issues.

Her master, Benjamin, has a good relationship with her. They aren't friends. They are a master and servant who just so happen to get along. They are the polar opposite of Lee and Pierre.

Master Benjamin seems to be a good man, but his head maid is not. She's affiliated with Pierre. She uses poor Ashe as a transport donkey for illegal gold. Ashe doesn't really have a choice, because smuggling means extra money for mom.

The suspicious head maid sends her to Night Butterfly.

There she finds Lee.

Lee suddenly has super strength now by the way. His whole story about using what he has to survive now doesn't matter, because he's strong enough to shred men twice his size.

Also Ashe is a healer....but she can't heal her mom for some reason???

Whatever.

She heals Lee and that's it. He's yandere for her. It's cheating and it sucks. I want Lee to be jealous of Ashe, and her shiny life with Benjamin. I want intrigue. Not glowy healer lights and glowy super strength eyes. Lee is a slave. Asha is a maid. They don't need to be special and they were more interesting without the superpowers.

Very disappointed.

I won't finish this one.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #webtoon #If You Save an Immoral Beast

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halcyon-autumn · 19 days

Text

Okay new theory in the vein of "The Ratgrinders are Jace's pawns" - I wonder if Kipperlilly might be trying to protect all of the Ratgrinders, the same way she's trying to protect Oisin while she acquires spell components.

I'll buy that the at minimum Kipperlilly was involved with Jace's plan to restore a corrupted Ankarna from at least Sophomore year, perhaps swayed by the idea of bringing back a goddess of Justice (she's talked about wanting things to be fair at the school). Rueben's potential to musically harness lots of people's rage would also make him a natural recruit. Lucy would be necessary as a cleric, but probably a hard sell since Yolanda Badgood was convinced that she'd never change her deity. I'm imagining the following scenario:

Kipperlilly acquires the Devil's Honey for Jace, not for herself; Jace was using her to do the dirty work the way Kipperlilly is now using Aelwyn.

Jace convinces Lucy Frostblade to change her deity, perhaps using the Devil's Honey himself, or maybe magically. Maybe he was planning to give Lucy the honey to have her lie to Ankarna and say she believes in her, maybe it was a way around Oblivati Mori, or maybe Jace wants it for himself. Idk.

Jace is the one to sign the Ankarna glyph on Lucy's paperwork (the one that the Bad Kids initially couldn't read). Yolanda says that such paperwork would have needed her signature, but maybe not if the Vice Principle of the school signs off.

Lucy changes her mind/breaks free of control and withdraws her paperwork.

Jace kills Lucy, and Porter helps (sorry but it's sus that he was talking to Arianwen and Kalina after Kalvaxus died). They either blackmail or magically coerce some of the Ratgrinders into helping - at least Kipperlilly, probably Rueben as well. Maybe all of them? He could have blackmailed Kipperlilly with the sketchy stuff she'd been doing for him.

Jace, a powerful sorcerer, is the one to brand poor Lucy with Ankarna's symbol, the same symbol he put on Lucy's paperwork.

Reuben uses the devil's honey to convince himself (and maybe the other Ratgrinders except Kipperlilly) that they had nothing to do with Lucy's death (hence the devil's honey that Fig saw bleeding out of his mouth during his Dream). Kipperlilly could have been the one to do it, and maybe the Dream indicated that Rueben had been affected by the Devil's Honey?

Reuben now doesn't know about Lucy's death, and Jace either by magic, force of personality, or blackmail gains enough power over Reuben's life to start convincing him to do things like demand that Frosty Fair be held at the Thistlespring tree. Idk how aware Reuben is of the weird magic rage symbols.

Kipperlilly decides to run for Class President to get enough power to protect her friends from Jace and Porter. It would explain why she's absolutely furious that Kristen, who doesn't care, is upstaging her.

Kipperlilly is either still forced to collect stuff for Jace OR she's collecting stuff for her own ends, but now she's using Aelwyn the way Jace used her. Maybe all of the money she has is either money Jace gives her to purchase stuff OR he tried to buy her off or something?

Jace uses a powerful spell to kill Yolanda Badgood when she finds Lucy's body and brands Yolanda's body with the same symbol of Ankarna.

It would make Kipperlilly such an amazing foil to Riz - taking on more and more stress to try to protect her friends, trying to work her way through an impossible situation. And the idea of the Ratgrinders all murdering Lucy never felt right to me - I think that even if some were involved, it's more complicated, and the big bads are Jace and, unfortunately, Porter.

#feel free to tell me if there's details I've forgotten #idk after tha last episode I find Kipperlilly suddenly a LOT more compelling #I think she's probably done some crappy stuff #I DONT think she willingly killed Lucy #get her on the Complicated Women podcast someone #Jace feels like a bigger enemy to me if only because Kipperlilly is so easy for the bad kids to hate and therefore maybe a red herring #kipperlilly copperkettle #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fantasy high spoilers #fantasy high theory #rachelle chats

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the-demonus-aunt · 1 year

Note

If mc started to have a nosebleed how would the brothers react (and dateables)

I love this one, it's random and chaotic xD

Belphie

It's the smell that wakes him

He opens his sleepy eyes as copper lingers all around him

His first reaction is one he's ashamed of later: Excitement. It's been too long since he's smelt something so delicious

His second reaction is fear, gripping his insides and tossing them around when he realises that it was you he fell asleep next to

When he sees you awkwardly pressing a tissue to your face, but otherwise okay, relief mixes with confusion

Once you explain the situation to him, he'll take care of you, but he WILL laugh and tease

"Little human, oh so fragile, aren't you?"

Beel

Utter shock spread across his face. Why? Because he really didn't mean to push you against the kitchen door frame face first

He was on a hunt for food, blinkers on and only one thought on his mind: hunger

Well, he forgot about yesterday's burger in the fridge now

Instead he holds a tissue to your nose, as careful as he can, and gives you some affectionate little pecks on the cheek

Who knew the giant could be so gentle

"I'm so sorry, MC. I'll make it up to you! Do you want some of my chocolate pudding?"

Asmo

Ew. Don't get any blood on his white satin scarf??

Don't worry, he'll get over himself and help you

He'll make face about it but he's already getting you a towel

Ok but why is he kinda into it? Teary eyes, metallic taste, little moans

He'll pat your head and make sure to fix your make up and clothes if they got dirty

"Oh honey, don't worry. You're still so cute, even with blood all over your face!"

Satan

He read about that!!

Yes, he gets a bit too excited about it

Can you blame him, though? You're bleeding...out of your nose! Do you not realise how weird that is?

When he realises you don't really find the situation funny, he immediately pulls himself together and is there for you

"So how can I help? More tissues? Sure! Might these cat pics comfort you?"

Levi

Oi!! What got you so horny so suddenly??

There's no use in explaining to him that that's not what nosebleeds mean after all

It couldn't have been him, could it?

...could it have been?

This seems easier in anime

He'll give you a tissue, but he'll blush way too hard

"Let's...let's just go back to playing games, 'mkay?"

Mammon

Human?! Are you dying?!

Oh man, he's freaking out

You're bleeding, you're his human and you're losing life juice!

It takes some effort to calm him down, but eventually, he learns to deal

Gives you a smelly old t-shirt to bleed onto tbh

Takes you on a gambling night out when you're okay again, bc you both deserve some fun now

"...we could prolly sell that shirt for a buncha money now, ya know?"

Lucifer

No listen. He loves you.

But he scoffs and turns his gaze back to his paperwork

He knows nose bleeds happen to humans. They're rarely dangerous. So what?

Well, you're kinda butthurt he didn't even ask if you're okay and you're showing it, too

He realises he could have been more compassionate later and apologises

He'll give you a tender flick on the nose and offer to share some demonus with you

"Do you feel better, love? Let's make you forget. What do you think?"

Diavolo

Frankly, when he smells it, he first thinks you just started your period

But when he turns around and sees what's happening, he doesn't hesitate

He wraps you up in his massive arms, pressing you to his chest without any regard for his white shirt or expensive jacket

This man will show you love and comfort, no matter what

Why? Because you're bleeding and he loves you

"MC, oh no. I'll take care of you!"

Barbatos

He gives you a handkerchief. And another one. And another one. Where does he keep all of them?

He'll clean you right up, too, when you stop bleeding.

He has also already prepared a tea that heals from the inside. When did he do that?

You'll have forgotten about your pain within minutes. How couldn't you?

"How unfortunate. Here, don't mind it. We'll have you fixed in no time."

Solomon

Well, he's human, so he gets it

He lends you a cloth with a weird gel already stuck to it and makes you some hot chocolate as solace

"MC? Where did you go? I made us some hot drinks?"

Simeon

Oh?

MC, are you alright? You seem to have something on your face...

He's never seen anything like it before but he remains calm and curious

He asks about what to do and follows your explanations to the letter

He also tries to search the internet for advice but all the spelling mistakes let the searches go nowhere

"Oh my. What's happening? This is normal, you say? Okay, what do we do?"

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a-library-of-old · 6 months

Note

Mammon infedelity HC's perhaps? (i love him but he's an ass, time for him to get hurt lol).

Naaaaaur I hate this!!!!! Time to write like a maniac!

I'm not sure if you want him or you cheating so I'll do both!^^

-idk when you found time to cheat tbh since he likes to be right there beside you 24/7 but still he will find out

-when he does? Oh lawd! He will be in full out monster mode and kill the person before grabbing you and getting in your face to ask why and insult you..lots of insults tbh

-I don't see him staying with you after this tbh, he won't kill you I don't think but you're definitely never allowed back into the greed ring

-gets hella heart broken after to, like if Fizz still works for him even Fizz will know, for a moment there he won't even care about making money

-NOW IF HE CHEATS?

-he'll try to laugh it off and convince you it's not what you think and this and that but eventually he owes up and does seem to feel bad about it

-key word is seems tho cause manz doesn't actually he's the embodiment of greed that bleeds to everything he does including who he sleeps with

-he will do his damndest to keep you from leaving to and try to get you to a open relationship or something

-now with all this said if you do leave him he will be upset and read above, if you don't leave him this will keep happening

-granted I don't see him as being a cheater personally so this is all a big what if to be honest man

#helluva mammon x reader #helluva boss mammon x reader #helluva mammon #mammon #helluva boss mammon #mammon x reader #tw cheating

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travlersjoy444 · 7 months

Text

2012 Karai x reader Incorrect Quotes

A spiritual followup to the incorrect turtlexreader quotes, because honestly Karai is the only one of them who I actually have a crush on! Definitely more niche tho lol

***

(Y/N): *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You’re supposed to say I have ‘the right to remain silent’”! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!

Karai: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

April: Can I get a waffle?

(Y/N) and Karai: *fighting and yelling at each other*

April: Can I p l e a s e get a waffle?

Karai: If I was married to you I would put poison in your coffee.

(Y/N): If I was married to you I’d drink it.

(Y/N), to Karai: One universe, nine planets, seven seas, seven continents, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.

Leo: Hey, that’s not very nice-

Karai: There are only eight planets, you uncultured swine!

Leo, forgetting about (Y/N): VIVA LA PLUTO, SCREW YOU!

(Y/N): Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice forest breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.

Karai: Hey, (Y/N).

(Y/N): GODDAMNIT!

(Y/N): Karai has only knocked me out three times this week. Our friendship is really developing.

(Y/N): You know, Karai, you are the sun in my life.

Karai: Why? Cause I'm smoking hot?

(Y/N): Because it hurts my eyes looking at you.

(Y/N): *angrily presses Karai against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!

Karai: ...

Karai: Are we about to kiss-

(Y/N): What’s up with you?

Karai: What do you mean?

(Y/N): You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?

(Y/N): So what’s the plan?

Casey: I don’t know. You’re smart, *points at Karai * they’re mean, come up with something.

Karai , writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

(Y/N): Let’s not Karai this into a worse situation than it already is.

Karai: Did you just use my name as a verb?

(Y/N): This is a bad idea.

Karai: Then why are you coming along?

(Y/N): Someone has to get your injured self home.

(Y/N): Did you have to stab them?

Karai: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

(Y/N): What did they say?

Karai: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

(Y/N): ...That’s fair.

(Y/N): What's gone wrong, Karai?

Karai: Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis.

(Y/N): That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling?

Karai: Well... There’s a crisis.

Karai: *on the phone with (Y/N)* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit.

(Y/N): You’re pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you.

Karai: Maybe.

(Y/N): You use humor to deflect your trauma.

Karai: Awww, thanks-

(Y/N): That’s not a good thing.

Karai: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

(Y/N): What are you doing here?

Karai: I could ask you the same question.

(Y/N): I live here. This is my house.

Karai: I should probably ask you a different question.

(Y/N), holding an unconscious Karai: Oh no. Please don’t be dead.

(Y/N): You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.

Karai, stirring their coffee: I prefer it with salt.

Karai, looking in the first aid kit: Why did you fill this with pop-tarts?!

(Y/N), bleeding out: I thought it was funny at the time.

(Y/N): Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Karai: It was autocorrect.

(Y/N): Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Karai: Yes.

Leo: So you’re dating (Y/N)?

Karai: What? No! I’m just buying them an accessory since they have terrible fashion sense.

Leo: That’s literally a wedding ring.

(Y/N): Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

Leo: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Karai.

(Y/N), pointing their hot glue gun towards Leo: You’re on thin fucking ice.

Mikey: That shirt looks great, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Thanks.

Mikey: But I bet it would look even better on Karai's floor.

Karai: Are you hitting on (Y/N)... for me?

Karai: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds? (Y/N): Yes? Karai: Well, it turns out they're all out for the next five days. (Y/N): Fuck. Karai: It's gonna be a fun week! (Y/N): I'm going to Leo's house. Karai: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.

Leo: (Y/N), gather the others. We need to have another Karai-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.

Leo: So, how long have you and Karai been together?

(Y/N): No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Karai and I are not together. No. No.

Leo: Really? Sixteen ‘nos’? Really?

(Y/N): Where are you going?

Karai: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one!

(Y/N): I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday!

Leo, knowing full well that (Y/N) got Karai an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

Karai: *kisses (Y/N)*

(Y/N): !

Karai: ...Did you steal my chapstick?

(Y/N): Did- did I what?

Karai: My chapstick, (Y/N). Did you steal it?

Leo: Karai, for the love of God, not this again.

(Y/N): I- No, I didn't steal your chapstick. We use the same chapstick.

Karai: No, there is absolutely no way we use the same chapstick, because it was only sold on one Etsy shop two years ago and they discontinued it, and I loved it so much that I bought the last of their stock, and I keep it in my freezer so it doesn't go bad. It's been discontinued for three years. No one uses the same chapstick for three years. So unless you've been eating a whole fuck ton of something that's flavored like chocolate and popcorn, you absolutely stole my fucking chapstick.

(Y/N): Chocolate and popcorn?

Leo: Why do you think it got discontinued?

*(Y/N) and Karai flirting with each other yet again*

Leo: And you two are sure you're not dating?

(Y/N): 100%.

Karai: Of course not! Why would you think that?

Leo: I wonder why that possibility would even cross my mind, Karai. I fucking wonder.

Leo: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

(Y/N): Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Karai walks in*

(Y/N): Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Karai: Hi.

April: Hey, did you do what I said? Did you tell them?

Karai: I did.

April: And what did they say?

Karai: “Thank you.”

April: You’re totally welcome. What’d they say?

Karai: They said, “Thank you.” I said “I love you” and (Y/N) said, “Thank you.”

Karai: How do I make a date really romantic?

Shini: Be mysterious.

Karai: Okay!

*later, while on a date with (Y/N)*

(Y/N): So where are we going?

Karai: None of your fucking business.

Shini: Hey, (Y/N), are you free on Friday? Like around eight? (Y/N): Yeah. Shini: And you, Karai? Karai: Umm... yes? Shini: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!

Karai: I’m this close to falling in love with (Y/N).

Shini: Your fingertips are touching.

Karai: Exactly.

(Y/N): Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Karai: Oh, you’ve been?

(Y/N): Once. In Monopoly.

Shini: Truth or dare?

Karai: Truth!

Shini: Do you-

(Y/N): I dare you to kiss me.

Karai: *kisses (Y/N)*

Shini: They said “truth”, right?

#tmnt x reader #tmnt 2012 x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #gn!reader #tmnt karai x reader #tmnt 2012 karai x reader #karai x reader #tmnt 2012 karai #karai hamato #tmnt karai

109 notes · View notes

erule · 1 year

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Ghost from your past | jj maybank

Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem!reader

Summary: you were in a relationship with JJ before something very huge happened, but you don’t remember anything. When you come back after a while, you fall in love with him again.

Warnings: memory loss trope, mention of a car accident and injuries, mention of people being half naked but they’re not ever really naked, fluff, angst, sexual tension (no smut/implied smut)

Word count: 4.5K

A/N: hi! I just finished s3 and I needed to write something about JJ. And let me tell you, that after a lot of months of being away, it felt good! Hope you like it. Enjoy! x

It's the longing. It's the constant thinking about her that hurts you. It's that feeling of envy you get when you watch John B kiss Sarah and feel ashamed, because you should be happy for your best friend. It's the desire to go back to when it was just you, her and John B lying on your sofa, the one on the porch, on summer evenings when your father was at the pub and they kept you company. You pointed to a star and said it had a certain name, then Y/N asked if it was true and John B laughed because he knew you were lying, even if with conviction. Then, in that little space between John B falling asleep and your father staggering up the street from the pub, you could play a bit of a jerk with her. Now you regret it: you could have kissed her, instead of always talking. What's the point of telling yourself that you have certain feelings, if you don't even have the time to show them? Many things had happened in one year and now you seem to have forgotten them all, one by one. They were clouded by your head, so you don't have to go over them, always one by one.

It's the longing. It's in the stare you give to some random girls on the street, the ones that look like her. But they're never her. Not because they're different people, just because they can't be her. Her parents made her leave. You don't blame them, they took the right decision for her. Getting her away from this place was probably the best thing to do after what happened. Snatching it right out of your hands, somehow causing you to bleed out, that was the worst part, but again, you're adamant that they did it right. If you had enough money, you probably would have left too. Indeed, for sure. You would have brought John B with you to look for her. Sure, maybe the others too, since after all they had known her. Sarah would have liked her too, especially since she too had abandoned the comfortable Kook life to be with you. She had tried to get you into hers, but you just couldn't live with her, with her parents, to wear those clean and elegant clothes. She was part of you, but those clothes didn't belong to your personality. So she shook her head that day, gave you a curled-lip smile and said, "You're such an idiot, JJ Maybank, to give up this rich life just for your stupid morals". Then you shrugged your shoulders, took her in your arms and answered her: "What can I say? I'm a romantic, I love danger too much to be able to live without it". And she had laughed. Nothing had made sense since that laugh. You realized that living without her wasn't an option anymore, so you gave in, after years of you and her hanging around, after she made her feelings for you clear, after you yelled at her that you weren't a someone you could build something with because you only knew how to destroy everything you touched. You kissed her. You fell into her web or maybe you just gave in to your own feelings.

And then, well, sure, you're not wrong, are you, JJ? You had destroyed the only beautiful thing that life had wanted to give you.

You pass in front of her house as always. Usually her parents have dinner in the kitchen and you see the lights on, but tonight it's all off. You don't pay too much attention to it, because it has happened on other days for some special occasion, like her mother's birthday or their anniversary. You wonder if she still hears from them, wherever she is. Wherever you would like to be too.

You walk down the street with your hands buried in your pockets, staring at your dusty, time-worn shoes. Since today would be her birthday, you've decided to wear the good clothes, the ones her family gave you. Your family who, incidentally, have always subtly hated you, but you only came to know about it at the end. “Last Day” isn't the last day you saw her, as you spied her getting on the plane as she left, but it's the one you spoke to her parents about the last time. Instinctively, your fingers touch the ring you wear around your neck, hanging from a silver chain that she gave you. Sometimes you wish you could afford to buy that plane ticket just so you could see her, even if it would hurt your heart.

When you arrive at the beach bonfire, you immediately notice John B and Pope chatting with a couple of red glasses in their hands. Sarah and Kiara are probably refilling their glasses somewhere, but you can't see them around. You raise a hand in greeting, then approach them. A little further are Rafe and Topper with their other Kook friends staying laughing and joking amiably, but to you they just look despicable as usual.

“JJ!” A voice behind you calls you. You turn around and see Kiara greeting you, Sarah next to her and another girl next to her who threatens to run into you.

"Damn, sorry!" She says to you, risking to slip, but you hold her by offering her your arms to hold on, while the content that was just before her in her glass soils your shirt.

You think her voice sounded strangely familiar, while in a room of your mind you're screaming because she ruined your new clothes. You're about to tell her, just to be polite, that you don't mind, especially since she's friends with Kiara and Sarah, but your voice dies in your throat when you look up. She's still staring at your chest, you don't know why, but you're looking at her.

It's not possible. You tell yourself it's not possible at all, because it's a small island and there are at least three people having a birthday today, not just her, but the party must be for her. So why didn't the others tell you? Why did John B arrange for you to meet her, unprepared? You repeat to yourself that it's not possible, because she was studying elsewhere, she was no longer part of this place, this place that stole everything from her: you, her memory, almost her life. Oh no, it hurts too much to look into her eyes right now, as she smiles at you and says something you don't understand, while she doesn't even recognize you. Maybe this hurts you more than anything else.

"What is your name? Come by my house later, I'll wash your clothes. I'm so sorry, really! I'm Y/N, the birthday girl,” she says, her words bursting out of her mouth and confusing you even more.

John B comes up beside you quickly, he puts a hand on your shoulder and tells Y/N your name is JJ. Your name is JJ and you're still in love with her: these are the only certainties you have.

“Are you sure you haven't met before? Did you fight? JJ looks like he just saw a ghost!” Sarah jokes, but Kiara's shocked expression supports her thesis. "Y/N, you told me you didn't even know who it was".

"But it is so! I don't know any of you guys, sorry. I went to school with Topper and Rafe. And then I would remember a guy like that,” Y/N lets slip.

"As well as?" John B asks, grinning.

Y/N swallows, embarrassed.

"Well, cute".

At that point, something inside you awakens and you wear the careless mask on your face again. You kiss the back of her hand, then wink.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. You've already risked falling at my feet, I'd say you've been clear about your feelings for me,” you joke, but those words are like a stab in the center of your chest.

She raises an eyebrow, but she's smiling.

“Cheeky and likable – a great combination, I would say”.

“Y/N, there you are! Stop wasting time with these Pogues and come talk to us again,” Rafe says, putting his arm around your shoulders and you begin to feel a flame leap from within.

“Isn't it among the duties of a birthday girl to talk to all the guests? It would be rude to leave now,” you say and Rafe glares at you.

“He's right,” Kiara snaps in quickly and Pope, who has just arrived, nods, even though he probably doesn't even know what you're talking about.

“See you later, Rafe,” you say then, walking with the others.

You stay behind with Kiara and Sarah to ask them how they met her, but John B yanks you through another door.

“JJ, I didn't know she was back, I swear!” He whispers and you sigh.

"Yeah, well, me neither! I nearly had a heart attack when I saw her".

“I noticed,” John B. chuckles. “What are you going to do now?”

“I won't tell her anything, John B. Hopefully, she'll be alone for the summer and then she'll be back where she came from. Trust me, it's better for her to know nothing".

“JJ, you're my best friend and I'm tired of watching you suffer. I think she would like to know that you were her boyfriend."

“I screwed her up with one of my usual stupid plans. I don't think she would want to know that, instead,” you retort. John B sighs.

"As you like".

You all gather near a rock, a few meters from the sea, managing to hear the roar of the waves loud and clear in your ears. You used to love hearing Y/N's voice, but then you forgot it and now you can't even remember what timbre it had.

“What is that thing she has around his neck?” You hear her ask Kiara and she laughs.

“That necklace? It's a gift from his ex, an older girl he was with a while ago."

"Really? JJ, you never told me about this!” Sarah exclaims. "I wish I'd known her."

You give her a perfunctory smile as you pretend to accidentally slip your elbow in the ribs of John B, who is laughing.

“John B always says he looks like a widower because of that ring around his neck,” adds Pope.

“John B is not nice at all, I don't even know why I'm friends with him,” you say, narrowing your eyes. "Anyway, we were together for a year, then it ended badly and now I've been single for a year."

“Would you like to apply?” John B asks and you glare at him.

“I don't think I've started off on the right foot,” Y/N says, nodding at your clothes.

“Oh, these? Forget it, I don't need it anyway,” you say and start undoing the buttons of your shirt.

“JJ, what are you doing?” Kiara asks, surprised.

“I'm going to take a bath,” you answer simply. You take off your shoes, then your pants and finally your shirt. The necklace stays with you, though: you never leave that one. It would be like leaving her.

You throw yourself into the sea and you finally feel free. The others follow suit, even Y/N. Once upon a time you would have hugged her and said: "Don't worry, I'll protect you from sea urchins" and she would have laughed, so you could have filled your ears with her laughter, but now you're not allowed to.

You still remember the escalators, when you went down them in reverse as you watched her approach the airport gate. You stopped on a step and climbed it until you were out of sight of her, hoping you never hit the ground. But then you got there on land and you had to let her go. John B told you you shouldn't have made that sacrifice, but you thought you'd do anything for her.

“Come to my house, later,” you hear her voice in your ear and shivers run up your back, even run down your spine. You turn around, a little intrigued and a little confused. “It's not a date, I just want to wash your clothes that I soiled you. My parents are still at the restaurant where we celebrated my birthday. I'll clean it up for you and then you go home, I promise,” she smiles at you and for a moment her gaze is so genuine you think she recognizes you, but a moment after you say yes, she's already walking up to Sarah.

You would have liked a different ending, it's true, but even just seeing her again makes you recover some oxygen and you're too selfish to be able to give up on her again.

“What did she tell you?” John B asks you.

“You know John B, curiosity killed the cat,” you say, before jokingly shoving him head underwater, ears muffled and a lump in his throat. If he knew you felt like this all the time since she's been gone, maybe he'd help but tease you so much, even though you know he does it because he loves you.

You enter Y/N's house barefoot, your shirt undone around your waist and your sand-stained shoes in your hands. You are fearful, because Y/N's parents weren't very kind to you last time, indeed not at all, and it scares you to enter here, as if you could see them jumping on you from the walls at any moment. You look around warily, noting that this house has remained the same since you left, giving up everything. A part he still curses himself for it, but it was for the best given what happened next. What probably would have happened anyway.

You get to the bathroom, start undressing again, but seeing Y/N turn around to give you your space makes you laugh heartily.

“You just saw me half naked, there's nothing you haven't seen by now,” you say and Y/N shakes a hand, still turned, as if to say no, he won't turn.

“It's not the same: before it was like you were in a swimsuit, now you would be in underwear. I don't want to be inappropriate."

“Y/N, only your integrity is inappropriate here. You can also look at me,” you say.

Look at me, always look at me.

“There are some of my father's clothes on the washing machine, put them on; then when you're done you tell me and I start the washing machine. I'm going to go change for a while too,” Y/N replies, heading into her room.

She changes you quickly, always afraid that her parents will come and find you half naked with their daughter, then put your clothes in the washing machine. You leave the bathroom, walk down the corridor and stop in front of her half-closed door. You start to knock, just to let her know you've changed, but you stop when you see her trying to undo the dress by herself through the looking glass. You would like to help her, but you freeze on the spot: you didn't know how much you missed being able to touch her until now, as if it were a primordial need you forgot about and which has only now surfaced. You swallow a ton of saliva while you see her undo the zipper, then you turn abruptly: it would be inappropriate to look at her now and you giggle thinking about the words she used just now.

Y/N comes out of the room in pajamas a minute later and smiles to see her father's clothes fit loose on you. She then throws her clothes into the washing machine and starts it off.

“Are you sure we have enough time before your parents get back?”

“No, but just in case you'll hide in the closet,” she replies.

"You're joking, aren't you?"

She bites her lip, a gleam of amusement in her eyes.

"Maybe not".

But you don't have to lock yourself in the closet at the end, because the two hours pass quietly and smoothly. You chatted with her like in the old days, savoring every word, every minute together, every time you could touch her hand or shoulder without apologizing.

You change quickly, again, then greet her at the back door, lest her parents might see you through the front door. You look at her thinking that you still have at least three months to be next to her, which is still more than you ever thought you could, but it seems to have wasted too much time already.

“Hey, JJ,” she says and you turn to face her.

"Yes?"

“Your face has looked familiar to me all evening. Are you sure we've never seen each other before?"

You swallow slowly, pondering whether it might not be better to confess the whole truth at this point, but then you pull back again.

"No. Trust me, I would remember you".

She smiles at you, head cocked to one side.

"Careful, your girlfriend might be jealous".

You slowly approach her, who remains motionless staring at you, almost frightened, so you raise your palms in surrender. You see her shoulders relax, then you leave a kiss on her cheek, her lips lingering on her skin that still tastes like salt.

"Then we might as well give her something to really be jealous about, don't you think?" You tell her with a grin, then say goodbye for real and walk away.

***

It's been two months. You've laughed with her, joked with her, talked to her, but she still doesn't seem to remember anything about you. Doctors said it could happen, but her memory has not returned. At this point, according to John B, it is better to create new memories and you agree. It would be so much better if she didn't come back to her house in a month and even better if you weren't aware that her parents hate you, but that's okay, she's here, so everything looks better anyway. Her parents know she's seeing you again, you saw their contemptuous looks at the door when you picked her up the other night, but they haven't said anything. But you know it, oh if you know it! You know they would like to see you disappear from her life forever. If only you weren't so in love with her, you already would have.

“JJ, hey, what are you thinking about?” She asks you and you come back to reality.

“The fact that the Big Dipper is clearly visible in the sky tonight,” you lie and she immediately looks at the place your finger is pointing.

"But you are sure? I do not see it!" She exclaims and you laugh. "You're a liar!"

She jostles you playfully, so you hug her and keep laughing until you notice her father looking at you from the window. You immediately move away from her, your hands in your pockets and your eyes fixed on your shoes. She notices your sudden change right away and turns to see her father staring at you.

“JJ…”

"No, don't tell him anything, it's fine."

“No, that's not good! We weren't doing anything wrong,” you retort. "Besides, I don't understand why you always defend them."

You can't tell her. You can't tell her about how they threatened you during "The Last Day", you can't tell her about the flowers you had to throw away running down the stairs, you can't tell her that when you think about it, your left cheekbone still hurts, what it was hurt against the window of the Twinkie when you braked hard. You can't do this to her.

"They…"

“If you feed me one more of your lies, JJ, I swear I…”

“Y/N, come home,” your father says, at the doorway.

She looks at you as if she's begging you to fight, to tell her she has to stay with you, but you remain silent. And yet, a part of you is happy, because she finally recognizes that look in your eyes, the look of longing, as if it were a mirror of yours.

Maybe there is still hope and you think about this as you walk away.

You're mentally going over your shopping list as you fill the inflatable pool with water when Y/N arrives. She's carrying a blanket, a couple of bags and she’s wearing a bathing suit.

"What are you doing here?" you ask her. "Did we have a date, by any chance?"

“First you flirt with me,” she begins, leaving the blanket on the floor, “then you defend my parents,” she continues, leaving everything else too, “and in the end you think you can get away with disappearing for a whole day? No, now we're going to settle this once and for all".

You raise an eyebrow as you reach over to open the envelopes: a few beers, some water, plenty of food, and a couple of shirts his father's size. She practically did the shopping for you!

“Did you rob a supermarket, by any chance?”

“No, just my house. I want to help you, JJ. I know things are bad for you and you live alone, Sarah told me. It's not true that your father works abroad: he's gone,” you say. You look at her with sadness mixed with anger, because you know that now he will start feeling pity for you, new ones and it was the last thing you wanted. “I'm really sorry and I don't want you to feel embarrassed about me, but I can't help but help you if I can. I would do it with anyone, you know."

“What did you want to talk to me about?” You ask, changing the subject. She notices it, but she doesn't flinch.

Grab a beer, then enter the small pool and she does the same shortly after. She stares intently into your eyes, as if she’s deciding how to introduce the topic.

“You're burning my retinas, Y/N. What is happening?"

Y/N blows the air out, then puts the beer on the grass.

“I never asked you anything, JJ, because it didn't feel right. Before we weren't even friends, then the line got thinner and thinner and my mind got clouded, because my feelings for you have changed. I would like to understand what we are, but I don't want to scare you, although maybe now I have, because I'm a person who talks too much,” she says, ruffling her hair. "Sorry, I just wanted to ask what happened with that girl, because every time I lean in to kiss you, it seems to me that you're thinking about her".

For a moment, her words catch you off guard, then you compose yourself. If she noticed it in two months, maybe everyone else noticed it in a year too. Maybe even her parents.

"When did you try to kiss me?" You ask, throat dry and voice hoarse.

"You really never noticed?" She asks, chuckling. “Every time I've gotten this close to you,” she replies, walking the short distance to you in the pool where she's practically on her knees due to how small it is. Her lips seem to exhale the last breath that chokes in the middle of her throat, while her nose brushes yours. Your heart is beating like a pneumatic hammer in your chest, it seems to you that your ribcage could burst at any moment, while her hand goes up your arm, up to your neck, up to your jaw, cheek, chin. Every fiber of your body cries out for just one kiss to die in from her, but she doesn't touch you, not where you want to.

“What are we doing?” You ask, but your voice begs her to cancel that distance, to surrender to you, so you can avoid saying that it's all your fault, for once.

“You tell me,” she replies. “I do what you want”.

You swallow, tense.

“Oh, to Hell with it!” You exclaim and drag her with you to Hell.

You kiss her passionately, your hands all over her body, but then stop on the back of her neck, as you deepen your knowledge of her, as if you didn't know who she was, as if you didn't know that seeing her leave broke your heart and that it he'll do it again, even if he doesn't want to, as if I don't know every inch of his body or soul. It's a fire that's finally burning inside you now, after keeping it at bay for far too long.

And then you hug her. You hold her close to you, her lips pressed into the crook of her neck and you feel her trembling in your arms. You only realize you're strangely wet on her shoulder when she lets out a sob.

“What happened to me?” She asks you and it's like taking a cold shower in the middle of winter.

“So you know,” you say, but yours seems more like a question.

“You have a scar on your cheekbone. Sarah told me you got it while falling and I would have believed it, except I have one too, on her forearm, but I don't remember how I got it,” she confesses. You shake your head, as if begging her not to ask you to do this, not to ask you to hurt her on purpose. But she continues: “I'm the older girl, aren't I JJ? I have the ring in the jewelry box in my room. My parents won't tell me the truth, but I need to know: why did we break up? Did we have an accident? What happened?"

You sigh, then stroke her arm. You don't want to tell her the truth, but you have to: now it's time to know.

“We had an accident. I was driving the Twinkie and you were sitting next to me. We ended up in the hospital, you woke up after me. I was bringing you flowers for your awakening, but your parents intercepted me before I could enter your room, before you even actually opened your eyes. Your mother told me to get out of your life,” you say and see her contrite expression on her face. “So when the doctors said you didn't remember anything from senior year, I jumped at the chance and ran. But they were right, Y/N, I had to leave you alone. I wanted to do it now too, but I was selfish. But I promise you that when you get back there, I won't..."

“I'm not going back there,” she cuts you off abruptly, with pride in her eyes. "JJ, I remember you."

You shake your head, confused.

"What?"

“Memories came back a while ago, but I needed to know about my parents, so I didn't tell you anything. I’m sorry. I remembered everything when you said you saw the Big Dipper,” he says, smiling.

You run a hand over his face, not even knowing what to feel. You should be relieved, yet you feel scared.

“What will happen now?” You ask.

She takes your necklace in her hands, playing with the ring.

“You're no longer a widower, JJ,” she says and you smile at her, feeling her throat choke with her tears.

"And your parents?"

“They'll get over it. Besides, what can I do if I fell at your feet?”

You burst out laughing, then you kissed her again.

“Do you remember what you told me the day of the accident?” She asks you.

“That I loved you,” you reply and she nods.

“This memory I can see as clearly as I see you now. It's not over until it's over."

You stroke her cheek, then hug her again, happy in the knowledge that it's not the last time this time.

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byebyassociation · 9 months

Text

Cahara the Skank (Character analysis)

Tw: The topics of 1500s prostitution, violent rape and suicide ideation

Text version under cut:

Cahara as a protagonist

“Cahara of the South… He originates from the Eastern Sanctuaries. A bastard child left on his own at a very young age. Somehow this poor soul found his way to these dungeons…”

Cahara grew up under unfortunate circumstances, as he was abandoned in Jettiah he had to learn nothing in life came easy or freely

He had three choices to be a pickpocket, burglar, Or lead an honest life

But this choice means little past starting skill/item. No matter what Cahara becomes a mercenary.

“As you grew older you took part in various mercenary armies and learned the dirtiest tricks to stay alive. You were taken in by a notorious veteran highwayman and you joined his little band of criminals and ex-soldiers.”

Instead his first real life choice is if he will stay beside his first real allies or ditch them for his life.

They do not join him in the dungeons if they live

“During one of your many raids, your brigade got ambushed. The odds were seriously against you. You could have just abandoned your comrades and kept you life, or you could have fought to your last breath...”

He didn’t have to take this mission, however his mental narration states as if he does: shoving down fear for the money.

“Something is clearly not right about this mission and you have felt nausea since the the moment you agreed on the job. But you are short on silver and the reward is all that matters in the end.”

Really, he shoved his own feelings down for Celeste

"Celeste, you're still doing this job with the little one on the way and all?!"

Cahara is not opposed to Celeste’s sex work, instead he is opposed to the men who want her due to her pregnancy

"If anything, I feel like there're more gentlemen folks asking for my services these days."

"This isn't right. I don't like it."

"Girl's gotta eat and now I got the little one to feed as well”

"I'm a man. I should take care of you two."

“I’m leaving tomorrow if— no when I get back things will change. You just wait and see!"

He doesn’t tell her what to do, only stating what he himself can do for her

Sadly, he either already had a sense this could be his end or didn’t even let himself think this would be the last time he spoke to or saw Celeste in the flesh

"Just promise you do come back."

He knocked her up in a brothel and contracted syphilis.

“You also get an itch in your groin area...”

Unfortunately a sign of the sorts of people who’d pay for her services without care for her body.

After at least speaking with Celeste he fully made up his mind. He wouldn’t come back without the cash.

“But didn’t he like it?”

Cahara as an NPC

"Oh hey."

"You got me out of here!"

Upon meeting Cahara in the prisons of the dungeons, he is quick to join your party after a short conversation

[You ask him] “What are you doing here?"

[He answers] "Wwell...”

“I do have a mission here, but let's save that story for another day, yeah?"

Regardless of your questioning, he speaks quite anxiously. Stuttering or going silent in an out of character sequence

[You ask him] "Why were you imprisoned here?"

[He answers] "I was caught by one of those malformed prison guards”

“Your conversation took an awkward turn for some reason...”

Prison guards are shown to be sexually violent to those they have access to. Both in their dialogue, their attacks and how defeat by them causes incurable hemorrhaging from sexual injuries.

Cahara does not show signs of this hemorrhaging, however D’arce doesn’t have a concussion either despite nearly having her skull caved in. Both lack status effects for the sake of balance.

When Cahara robs you he has a preference for stealing healing items

This may be his attempt to patch himself up as there is no canon cure for internal bleeding.

[D’arce’s prison dialogue says] "Le'garde... You were supposed to be here…”

When in the prisons most characters bring up your common mission. D’arce, Ragnvaldr and even Enki bring this point up

Cahara breaks this formula

[Cahara’s prison dialogue says] "Tell me... Did the guards ever capture you here?"

He wants to know if he was the only one. He wants to know if there was anything he could’ve done. He’s seeking solidarity. He’s seeking kinship

"Don't let the dungeon have it's way with you. Bye."

"Talk about traumatizing events... Sheesh…”

"This place is starting to get into my head...”

Does this sound like the words of someone unaffected by the dungeons? He is nonchalant but he is not well. In fact that last line is repeated 11 times. He has 18 unique dialogue lines in party talks, none of his dialogue or anyone else’s appears nearly as many times repeatedly.

He’s gone into shutdown, in the upper areas and especially the prisons and areas around it he just cannot hold up. Mentally he cannot juggle his need to keep moving forward and process what happened.

This leaves his mind to go entirely unfiltered when he is in a space where he can think. Suicide ideation and turning to sex for comfort being his two major callings in this state. Sometimes even mashing together through his willingness to marry a marriage, a very literally dangerous form of sex.

"Hahaha, this is too good"

"Dying down here is most likely the easiest way to go!"

'I'm starting to feel like death would be the easiest option."

“Cahara seems really enthusiastic.”

"Just don't destroy my anus with those big muscles of yours, okay?"

"Ehh, well that's a freaky suggestion, but fine."

#fear and hunger #f&h #cahara #tw sa #tw rap3 #tw abuse #tw prostitution #character study #character analysis #Apologies for taking so long with the text version

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jebewonmorelike · 11 months

Text

Chocolate Milk

wc: 4.8k pronouns: none used; n/a -- reader has femme best friend warnings: angstttt, fluffy ending, matthew being mean, swearing, mention of alcohol, matthew is a stranger and reader has to live with him, financial struggle/unemployment, a few inappropriate jokes but nothing explicit (think pg-13), consumption of a concerning amount of chocolate milk over a 6 week period warnings for spicy cut-scene: suggestive/mature themes; minors dni (link is here and will also be in the fic for the appropriate context and placement; fic makes perfect sense without cut scene as well it's just for funsies) summary: a down-on-their-luck reader has to crash on bandmemberandgymrat!matthew's couch for the foreseeable future. a couple problems with this: matthew is incredibly hot and also a major asshole ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ OH MY GOD. IT'S DONE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO. I DID IT. THIS ONE NEARLY ENDED ME WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE I FINISHED IT. i hope you LOVE it; matthew is for sure more like woohyun in this and he is hot and so mean and cocky and... enjoy this, please i'm begging you. <3

Why me?

You had been screaming this question over and over again in your head for the past twenty minutes. Your friend had texted you this afternoon that she'd finally found a contact who had a place for you to crash for awhile. The address she sent you had been a bit far away from the place you were currently crashing and you didn't have enough money for an Uber, so after an hour on the subway this evening and a thirty minute walk after that, you had finally knocked on the door of the apartment your friend had sent you to.

The boy that had opened the door, though shorter in height was muscular and sported several tattoos-- and you knew this because he had greeted you in a black, fitted tank top and boxers. Albeit, you had been quite a bit later than you said you would be, but the fact that he hadn't said more than ten words to you since you'd arrived with your suitcase in hand wasn't helping you to forgive his too-comfortable appearance.

Standing a few feet behind him in the kitchen area, you watch as the boy opens the refrigerator door. Fishing into one of the drawers, he pulls out a water bottle and tosses it to you.

He fails to warn you of the incoming object, however, and before you can scramble to catch it, it connects with your face.

You stare at each other for a long moment until you feel something tickling the skin beneath your nose.

"You're bleeding," the boy says, still expressionless as he continues to stare at you. "And you suck at catching things."

Bringing your hand up to your face, you run your fingers across the skin that is tingling under your nose. He was right: bright, red blood is coating your fingertips.

"Oh, um," you mumble, looking around for something to wipe your nose with. "Is--... Do you have a--?"

A tissue box hurtling towards your face shuts you up as your hands reach up in a panic to catch it.

"Better that time," the boy says, eyebrows raised ever so slightly in amusement.

Pulling a tissue from the tissue box, you dab it around your nose to remove the blood that is still flowing from it. You swallow nervously, glaring at the boy who has been nothing but rude to you this entire time.

He takes a sip from the glass of chocolate milk sitting beside him before placing it on the island counter that he's leaning against. "Is it broken?"

"What?" You ask, brow furrowing softly.

"Your nose," he responds, meeting your gaze again. "Is it broken?"

You frown. "I doubt it. It doesn't even hurt really."

"Damn," he says, shaking his head. "Disappointing."

Your eyebrows raise incredulously at the boy's words. "Were you trying to break my nose!?"

"Nah, of course not," he denies, turning to look at his right bicep. He prods the muscle before adding, "Just kind of pathetic that I couldn't, you know? Guess I've gotta up my reps from now on."

You're not sure when your jaw started dropping, but it clearly had no intention of stopping any time soon. "You--... You--."

Before you can say anything else, the boy places his empty glass in the sink and walks out of the kitchen area and towards his bedroom-- leaving you entirely speechless. After a moment of internally screaming 'wtf', you turn around to yell at him.

"HEY!" You shout, catching the boy just as he's about to shut the door to his bedroom. "What are you doing!?"

"Closing the door," he answers simply, starting to close the door again.

"Closing the--," you say, tongue pressed to your cheek as you look up to the ceiling and shake your head in disbelief. "This was a terrible mistake. I’m leaving.”

Walking towards the apartment door, you wrap your hand around the handle of your suitcase and pull it behind you. As you reach the door, you turn the knob and throw it open in a huff…

Only to suddenly feel your suitcase gain 100 pounds.

You tug at it uselessly to try to get it to budge, but eventually you are forced to give up and turn back around to see what the problem is.

Finding the suitcase handle, your breath hitches when you see a hand gripping the blue plastic next to yours. You follow that veiny hand up past the arm its connected to until you’re finally looking its owner in the eye.

You swallow hard, not knowing how to properly react as you pull the suitcase harder. “Let go.”

He does, but the sudden lack of equal and opposite force on the suitcase sends you flying back against the door— shutting it closed behind you in the process.

The boy steps towards you, your heart racing in response as your mind runs through all the possible ways he could kill you and dispose of your body.

Click.

His fingers turn the lock on the doorknob.

Clank.

He locks the deadbolt above it.

“PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!” You shout suddenly, no longer able to contain your fear.

He stares at you for a moment, face less than a foot away from yours. Then, he snorts. “I was actually trying to keep you from getting killed. I don’t know if you noticed, but this building isn’t in that great of an area. The guy down the hall got murdered at the vending machine at 10 P.M. just last week actually.”

You blink back at him, wide eyed.

“But if you'd prefer to go out there, I’ll just go ahead and open this door up for you and you can—.”

You turn around, pressing your hands against the door to keep him from opening it. “I’ll just… stay here. But only for tonight.”

“Sure you will.”

You frown, turning back around to face him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I know you have nowhere else to go, so,” the boy says, face expressionless. “You wouldn’t be trying to shack up on some rando’s couch for the foreseeable future if you weren’t.”

You sigh. The asshole is unfortunately right.

“I go to the gym early every morning and I have band practice until late at night-- which I missed tonight for you; who decided it was polite and reasonable to be two hours late without even sending a text," he says, walking back towards his room. “But what I'm getting at is: you won't see me unless you're trying to. So I'll know if you're trying to."

Scoffing, you stand there with your suitcase in this bastard of a man’s apartment-- completely helpless to the situation at hand.

“But if I hear so much as a peep out of you while I’m sleeping, you’re out on the street-- do you hear me?”

He doesn't wait for you to answer. Instead, he shuts the door to his room closed; leaving you alone in the combined kitchen and living area in the small one bedroom apartment. Resignedly, you slink towards the couch and sit down; finally pulling out your phone to text your friend after experiencing this utter disaster that she had set you up for.

BITCH WTF

???

this man is the rudest, most insufferable human being in the world. why did u tell me to go live with him

Matthew? Insufferable? Maybe a bit abrasive but...

he threw a water bottle at my face so hard my nose bled and then got upset when he found out it wasn't broken

Awww... I think he likes you :)

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? he's a fucking crazy person

You just don't know each other yet. Don't worry too much about it. You needed a place to stay and you got one... Beggars can't be choosers

watch it

Gn xx

You throw your phone down beside you onto the couch, lying down on your back as you curse your friend.

Matthew...

He hadn't even had the common courtesy to introduce himself. In fact, you would've gone on not knowing his name if it wasn't for your friend having told you just now.

Luckily, even in the strange new environment, exhaustion begins to take over after the long train ride and walk you'd been on all evening. Sinking into the old, leather couch and pulling the navy blue throw blanket draped on its arm over your body, you eventually drift off while scrolling through TikTok as the hum of the refrigerator lulls you to sleep.

A few days pass quietly in this way. Though Matthew had claimed you'd never see him unless you tried, you'd found it easy at first to get a glimpse of him when he came in through the apartment door around 2 A.M. every night. The click of the doorknob and clank of the deadbolt always stirred you from your sleep, though you'd keep your eyes closed as he walked past where you laid on the couch.

But one night, just as you were falling back to sleep after Matthew had come home about a half hour prior, you hear his bedroom door click open.

Curiously, you watch as Matthew walks to the fridge, opening the door and peering inside. In the refrigerator light, you can’t help but notice that his features are much softer and sleepier than usual.

“Stop staring,” he says suddenly, jolting you upright on the couch.

You stare at him wide-eyed in the dim light, not sure whether to deny his claim or not. “I wasn’t staring. I—.”

“So why were you pretending to be asleep, huh?” He challenges, eyes boring into you. When you fail to answer, he concludes, “That’s what I thought.”

Matthew sticks his head back in the fridge for a moment before resurfacing— a puzzled look on his face. “Huh.”

“What?”

He closes the refrigerator door, holding up the new carton of chocolate milk you had picked up from the corner store down the street that afternoon. “Where did this come from?”

“I got it today,” you answer with a shrug. “I saw you were out so I grabbed some on my way back here.”

Matthew blinks back at you for several seconds, the puzzled look on his face unfading even after your explanation. He walks to the cupboard and pulls out a glass, setting it on the table as he unscrews the cap of the carton and pours. "I didn't ask you to do that."

Your eyebrows raise in shock at his condemnation of the favor you'd attempted to do for him. "Bastard," you mumble under your breath.

"Don't waste your money," he says, bringing the glass to his lips and chugging the liquid in less than three seconds. "You're supposed to be saving it," he scolds as he sets the glass in the sink, walking out of the kitchen and back to his room.

"And go to bed."

That's all Matthew says before the door to his bedroom slams shut once more.

~super spicy cut scene 🌶️ HERE 🌶️... minors dni ... continue reading below ... rest of story makes full sense without additional scene so return here after reading or SKIP IF YOU ARE A MINOR~

You don't see Matthew again for another week. You've been exercising again, tiring your body out so you can sleep well on the old leather couch that you now call your bed. You wake up each morning and its as if the boy had never come home at all.

The only sign of his existence is another empty glass in the sink, which had undoubtedly been filled with chocolate milk the night before while you were sleeping just a few feet away.

You wash each new empty glass every morning. He must notice, but he never says anything.

You've applied to several music teaching jobs, but haven't made it past the interview stage for any of them so far. Most of them say they're looking for someone with more recent experience at this point. You're now considering branching out to any field that will hire you.

You're asleep by 10 P.M. tonight, a long walk that accidentally ended up being mostly uphill turning your legs to jelly as they melted into the beat-up couch. It's one of the soundest sleeps you've ever had, until a soft melody begins to wake you...

Eyes fluttering awake much to your chagrin, you look around the room expecting to see light flooding through the windows. You're surprised instead when the only light you see is leaking through a crack in Matthew's bedroom door.

The strumming of an acoustic guitar, accompanied by a gentle male voice is what must have woken you. You sit upright, wiping the sleep from your eyes as you grab your phone from the end table and check the time.

2:34 A.M. He must've just gotten home from band practice, you think. Why is he still playing?

Curiously, you stand up and tiptoe to Matthew's bedroom door. He hadn't shut it all the way and you can see him in the reflection of his standing mirror. He's wearing grey sweatpants and a black, fitted tank top as he works the guitar-- eyes closed and brows furrowed tensely as he sings with it.

He looks hot.

You shake your head quickly, expelling the troubling thought as soon as it pops into your head and correcting it:

He looks frustrated.

You listen closer, trying to catch the lyrics or the tone of the song. Matthew's voice is a lot better than you thought it would be. You had secretly been hoping he sucked so that you could hold it over the asshole's head forever. But he doesn't suck. And far from it...

But there is something slightly off. You place your ear closer to the door, trying to figure out what the problem is. As he holds out the last note of a particular phrase, it hits you.

And you accidentally hit the door, sending it flying open as Matthew's eyes meet yours through the mirror. You grimace awkwardly as he stares back at you unamusedly.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?"

You step into Matthew's bedroom, looking around through sleepy eyes at each corner. You were surprised to find he had a bed frame and not an old, messy mattress on the floor. He had seemed like the type.

"You woke me up," you say with a frown. "Why are you allowed to make noise while I'm sleeping?"

"Because I'm the only one paying rent," he says simply, raising a small glass of what looks to be whiskey to his lips.

Your brows furrow defensively. "I was going to help with rent."

"With what money?" He asks rhetorically, setting the glass back down on his desk. "Have you found a job yet?"

Chewing your cheek in defeat, you answer softly, "No."

"Mm," he hums in response, returning his attention to his guitar.

"But I've been trying," you add, folding your arms across your chest. "Really hard. It's just that my field is... saturated."

"Mmhm," he mumbles dismissively. You shake your head, rolling your eyes at the boy who you were now forced to coexist with.

"Whatever. I was actually gonna tell you you sounded nice," you say, walking back towards the door. "But you actually sounded pretty flat so. Choke on a dick."

You're just about to step back into the living area when Matthew calls softly behind you, "Did I actually sound flat?"

You turn around and nod at him, taking in his curious expression for a moment. "It's most noticeable on the ending pitches."

"I knew it," he says, sighing in defeat.

This is the first time you've ever seen real emotion from Matthew. He's definitely upset that he's not sounding the way he wants to. It's refreshing to see him give a shit about something for once.

"It's because you're lingering on your consonants too long," you advise calmly as his eyes meet yours. "You need to get to your vowels faster or you're gonna stay under the pitch."

His eyes narrow suspiciously. "How do you know that? What are you-- some sort of vocal coach?"

"Uh," you stumble, smiling awkwardly back at him. "Yeah, actually."

"No you're not," he accuses with a frown. "I've never heard you sing before. Not even once."

"Obviously. I'm not allowed to make a peep while you're here or you'll kick me out, remember?"

Matthew leans back in his desk chair. "You're being for real? You're really a trained vocal coach?"

You nod, pressing your lips together. "I'm also a jazz saxophonist. Turns out neither are very lucrative professions."

He's silent-- just staring back at you as if he's lost in thought.

"You have a good voice, though," you say, walking towards the door once more when it seems like he's not going to respond to you again tonight. "And I liked the song. But I think it could use some work."

You take one last look at him, his face soft and sleepy like it had been that night a few days after you'd just moved in. He's gazing down at his guitar, tapping his fingers against the body lightly before you finally close the door.

"Well I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I built my life around you..."

The lyrics flow out of you as the hot water hits your body and falls down to the floor of the shower beneath you. Matthew might live in a shitty apartment building, but one thing they did have...

Good water pressure.

"But time makes you bolder; even children get older and I'm feeling older, too..."

Thud.

You freeze as you hear a loud noise come from the other side of the bathroom door. A million thoughts race through your head, but one sticks out most of all: is someone else in the apartment?

Matthew wouldn't be home for hours. And you'd deadbolted the door to the apartment...

Hadn't you?

Fight response kicking in, you shut off the water and fling open the shower curtain. Wrapping a large towel around you, you open the bathroom door and step into the living area cautiously. Walking around, you look for any signs of an intruder but, after a thorough search... you don't find any.

What you do find is your phone on the ground next to the couch, when you were sure you'd placed it on the end table. But with the windows open and the summer evening breeze blowing into the apartment, you try to convince yourself as best you can that your phone has simply fallen off its perch.

Changing into your pajamas, you watch TV for a while before falling asleep for the night on your makeshift bed.

Bzzzzzz. Bzzzzzz.

The light buzzing against your chest wakes you up, looking around in a daze for the culprit. Finally, you locate your phone and bring it up to your face; blinking the sleep away as you read the screen as best as you can.

3:57 A.M.

Mom

Decline Accept

You decline the call quickly after reading the time, instead texting your mother:

i can't talk. what's wrong?

Your mom types back fast, as expected:

Nothing's wrong honey! Just wanted to give you a head's up that we had to put your dad's gambling debt on your debit card this month. Luv u x

Your heart jumps to your throat. "No, no, no, no, no," you whisper as your fingers frantically find your mobile banking app. You tap it open, clicking through to your account total which now reads:

-$3,367

Suddenly, you're nauseous and scared and devastated all at once. You had saved $300 in the time since you'd gotten your part-time job at the Italian restaurant around the corner from you two weeks ago. And just like that, you were in serious debt once more.

Would this nightmare ever end?

You're not sure when you started sobbing, but the tears are flowing and they're now a completely unstoppable force. Covering your mouth with your hand, you attempt to stifle the sound of your crying as much as you feasibly can.

But it's all in vain.

The door to Matthew's room flies open, anger radiating off of him. But then he squeezes his eyes shut tightly, reopening them after a moment to stare blankly back at you. He's unmoving as you continue to sob until he finally walks past you to the kitchen area.

Matthew opens the refrigerator door, pulling out a fresh carton of chocolate milk. He opens the cupboard and pulls out a glass before filling it up halfway. He returns to the carton to the fridge and walks over to where you're sitting on the couch, glass in hand.

"Because you're crying like a giant baby, I figured you might need some milk," the boy says, hand with the glass extending out to you.

His words are harsh and sarcastic, but his expression is surprisingly soft. You notice his hair is slightly messy from sleep and his cheeks are puffier than usual. He looks almost innocent...

"Do I have to beat someone up?" He asks quietly.

Suddenly, you realize: this glass of chocolate milk could be Matthew's version of an olive branch.

You take the glass from his hand, slowly bringing it to your lips and taking a sip. You hold the glass in your lap as you meet his gaze.

"I hope not," you say softly. "Considering you wouldn't even be able to break their nose..."

Matthew blinks at you for a few seconds before a sudden grin lights up his face. His smile is broad and happy and if you weren't already sitting down, it would've knocked you off your feet.

The crinkles in the corner of his eyes are youthful and endearing and the laugh that comes out of him is enough to light the entire apartment in the dark.

What the fuck is going on?

When he sees you staring back at him confused, he coughs lightly in what seems to be embarrassment as he averts your gaze. "Go to sleep," he says, walking back to his room quickly. "You can keep crying in the morning."

Though Matthew's words themselves aren't overly comforting, there's something behind them-- something in his voice or maybe the way he glances at back at you before closing the door-- that makes you think that the boy who had once been disappointed he didn't break your nose... might actually give a shit about you after all.

"HOLY FUCK!" You scream, bolting upright from your sleep the next morning when you open your eyes to Matthew staring back at you.

He smirks. "A good face to wake up to, right?"

"No," you say, gripping your heart with your hand. "You scared the shit out of me."

"I hope I didn't," he says, standing up from where he's sitting on the floor in front of you. "You're not getting a new couch no matter how much you shit on it."

"You're more chipper than usual this morning," you say, stretching your arms above your head before dropping them to your lap in sudden realization. "Wait... It's the morning! You're not supposed to be here!"

Matthew laughs, walking over to the kitchen island and grabbing his keys. "Come on. We're going."

"What?" You ask confusedly. "Going where?"

"To breakfast," he answers simply.

"Why would we--?"

"Because there's no food in the house," he answers plainly again.

You frown. "I was gonna go pick up some groceries yesterday, but--."

"But you didn't," he cuts you off again quickly. "So you have 100 seconds to get ready and then we're going."

You blink at him, wondering what on earth had gotten into this man.

"100... 99... 98..." Matthew begins counting down; the sudden pressure causing you to jump to your feet, grab some clothes from your suitcase next to the couch and run to the bathroom.

Panicking, you brush your teeth and wash the sleep from your eyes before changing into the jeans and shirt you had haphazardly plucked from your suitcase. Fixing your hair, you can hear Matthew still counting faintly from outside the bathroom door.

You fling it open just as he's about to say "seven"; brushing past him to grab your phone from the couch.

"Oh look at you," he says, a smug little smile on his lips. "So efficient with your time."

"Let's just go," you mumble, unlocking the door to the apartment and stepping outside in a huff as you watch the smile on Matthew's face only grow wider.

"Can I have your cream?"

Your eyes widen in shock. "My--... my cream?"

"Yeah, your coffee cream," he says, pointing to the tiny containers of milk creamer that you've left untouched next to your coffee cup. "If you're not gonna use it."

"I--... I am gonna use it actually, thank you very much," you huff out, trying to shake the image that Matthew had unknowingly created from your mind as you pick up one of the creamer packets and dump it into your coffee.

You look up at Matthew as you place the empty container down to find the infuriatingly attractive boy smirking at you-- teeth lightly biting down on the left side of his bottom lip.

"Did you think I meant something else?" He asks with a cocky chuckle.

You pour the second packet of creamer into your coffee, exhaling deeply as you chew your cheeks to keep yourself from screaming. "If you had, I would've poured this hot coffee down your shirt."

"I'll admit that's a very creative way to get a glimpse under my shirt," Matthew counters, leaning back in the booth seat and folding his arms across his chest. He positions his forearms just under where his pectoral muscles end, humorously trying to emphasize them for you.

It is unfortunately having its desired affect on you.

"If I had known that you stopping being so rude to me would lead to you amping up the inappropriate flirting I would've--."

"Tried to make it happen sooner?" Matthew says, raising his eyebrows in a challenge.

You pick up your spoon and dunk it in your coffee cup, stirring a little too aggressively as some of the hot liquid splashes onto the table. You're about to grab a napkin to wipe up the small spill, but a veiny, slightly-calloused hand beats you to it.

He dabs up the spill with his napkin and retracts his hand before meeting your gaze again. "I know you're in serious debt."

You stare back at him, not sure whether or not to deny his accusation. Ultimately, you're too curious to fight back. "How do you know?"

"You left your phone open," he says nonchalantly. "When I was getting ready to go to the gym this morning, your bank info was just lying there."

You laugh sadly. "Good thing I have nothing to steal."

"I thought you were working at that restaurant on 5th Street," he says, taking a sip from his coffee mug. "What happened to that?"

"Nothing happened," you say, staring into your own cup of coffee. "I'm still working there."

"And you haven't managed to save anything?" He asks, eyes free of their usual judgment. "Is that why you were upset?"

Slowly, you shake your head. Why you were about to divulge your personal information to a virtual stranger (albeit a virtual stranger that you live with) was beyond you. But you answer honestly anyway, "My parents charged their own debt to my account this month. It's not the first time they've done it. It won't be the last."

Matthew studies you for a second. "Does that have anything to do with why you had nowhere to live in the first place?"

"I was fine paying it off for a while, each time they'd add a new charge. I'd just spend a little less that month. A lotta less, actually. But I was fine," you explain slowly. "But when the pandemic hit, the arts school I was teaching at closed down. And so did a lot of other arts and music programs across the country. And I just haven't been able to find a job or recover financially since."

The boy sitting across from you is quiet for a few moments, taking a sip of his coffee and placing the cup back down on its saucer. You think maybe he's reached his talking quota for the day, when he suddenly says, "I know someone who needs a vocal coach."

You tilt your head curiously to the side. "Who?"

"Me."

Unfortunately you'd taken a sip of your coffee just before Matthew had given his answer. You choke slightly as the hot liquid goes down the wrong pipe from the shock; clearing your throat before responding, "WHAT!?"

"Someone whose band just got signed to a local record label is gonna need a good vocal coach, don't you think?"

You watch as a smile grows on his face; the sun suddenly making an appearance smack-dab in the middle of Joe's City Diner. It's impossible to keep the corners of your lips from also turning up when your roommate has suddenly decided to start being the cutest person you've ever seen before.

"That's--... That's amazing," you congratulate him. "Breakfast is on m--."

"Me," he says with a laugh. "It's on me. Unless we're dining and ditching. But I wanna be able to keep coming back here, so let's just let me pay, yeah?"

A little embarrassed, you nod in agreement. "Right."

"Plus, it's my way to convince you to be my vocal coach," he says with a smirk. "Is it working?"

You sigh, a small smile forming on your lips, too. "I dunno. I'm kind of out of practice at this point..."

"I'll pay you $75/hour for two lessons a week."

"Deal," you say quickly, hand extending across the table before you can even think it through properly.

He grins, taking your hand in his and shaking it. "Pleasure doing business with you."

"You as well," you say quietly, blushing as you retract your hand. “But… can I ask why? If you have $150 to spare, you could hire anyone. And, honestly, I thought that you hated me until... Until right now, actually. Why are you helping me?”

Matthew chews his lip for a second, folding his hands in his lap. “Because you bought me chocolate milk.”

A little pout forms on your lip as you try to figure out what he’s talking about. “What?”

“When I ran out,” he says, nodding simply. “You went to the corner store and got me a new carton. When you first moved in.”

You frown. “You told me never to do that again!”

“I told you not to waste your money again,” he says shrugging. “But it was thoughtful of you… and I appreciated it.”

You blink back at him, not sure what to say to his after-the-fact thank you. After a moment, you nod-- a small smile on your lips.

He takes another sip of his coffee. "And you're not out of practice by the way."

Your eyebrows furrow, wondering what Matthew means by this.

"I heard you singing last night in the shower," he says, smiling. "I knew for sure you weren't lying when I heard you."

Suddenly, you remember the thud you had heard while showering the night before. "YOU WERE LISTENING TO ME SHOWER!?"

Matthew laughs. "I forgot my capo at home and I needed it for band practice and--..." The smile drops from his face when he realizes what you had meant. "NO! No, oh my god, no. No, no, no-- not like that I--."

"Why so defensive?" You ask with a smirk, one eyebrow cocking playfully. "Just wanted to show you I can play that game, too."

You watch relief floods his face as he grins. "I'd ask you to put your money where your mouth is, but..."

"Asshole."

His smile exudes a bit of fondness now, much different from his smirk or his sunshine-filled grin. It's soft; warm. "You have a beautiful voice."

You look down int your coffee cup, bottom lip tucking between your teeth awkwardly. "Thanks."

"And if you sing while I'm home, I won't kick you out. In fact, that can be your rent payment."

You start to shake your head in protest, but he just laughs.

"That way I don't have to eavesdrop while you shower," Matthew jokes. "Unless you want me to."

"You've got to be kidding--."

"And maybe we can get breakfast like this more often."

There's a flutter in your heart again. Just like when he'd told you to go to bed earlier this morning. His words weren't flowery or overly emotional or caring in themselves...

But it's that look in his eyes; the tone in his voice.

"Breakfast and vocal lessons it is," you agree softly. "But I get to add something to the deal too..."

He smiles at you, brows raised in anticipation.

"You share your chocolate milk with me more often."

Matthew's eyes narrow as he studies you for a moment. You think for a second that his love for chocolate milk might be too strong...

But then he nods.

"Deal."

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aanoia · 11 months

Text

Crazy

Kaz Brekker x reader

Summary; the enemy of your enemy is your friend... unless they are also your enemy

Warnings; blood?, knives, uhhhh violence lmfao, enemies to lovers

Words; 2,000+

This didn't end the way I wanted it to but that's okay

The inspo was from the song Trouble by Valerie Broussard

I'm prolly gonna make a pt. 2 bc im cool

Btw,, when introducing the Night Scarlets, each member will have their code name like this, name (code name)

We wear red so they don’t see us bleed

Kaz Brekker hated many, many people. However, there was one group, in particular their leader, that he hated most. The Night Scarlets. Or the Cardinal, their leader. She has been after Kaz since he joined the business. She and her girls have stolen countless of missions right from under his nose, always having his Crows do the work then swooping in and taking over. She infuriated her.

Hundred dollar bills under our sleeve

We intend not to sleep ‘til we’re dead

The thing Kaz never understood was how. How did she know everything he had planned? He had thought it was spies at first, possibly he had a rat in his nest. But no. Even when he went on solo missions. The Cardinal would always know.

Drink our problems right out of our heads

Singing oh, oh-oh-oh, oh

Trouble

(Trouble)

Singing oh, oh-oh-oh, oh

Here comes trouble

(Trouble)

“Now, not a word to a single soul about this mission. Hear me?” Kaz asked lowly to his Crows. “If the Night Scarlets find out about this and ambush us I will take each of your hands and shove them down your throats. Am I understood?” The Crows nodded nervously.

“Kaz.” Inej started. “You do know we’ve never said anything before, right? I don’t know how but they always find out, whether we talk or not. She always knows.”

Kaz sighed, “I know.” He answered shortly, turning to look out the window.

Dangerously havin’ the time of our lives

These boys are just poisonous thorns in our sides

“So what do we do about them? I mean, I love the ladies, don’t get me wrong. But these ones gotta go.” Jesper said, toying with his new gun he had just stolen.

“I don’t know if there’s anything we can do, Jesper. They’re practically non existent when they aren’t in action.” Nina responded.

“I mean, there has to be a way to catch them. No one can be completely invisible forever.” Wylan said, his brain running through thousands of possibilities. “Maybe we can set a trap for them?”

Matthias snorted, “They’ll turn that into a trap against us. Bad idea.”

“Well, we need to do something. I need money!” Jesper argued.

“You don’t need it, you’re just going to gamble it all!” Wylan said, raising his voice slightly.

Starting fires wherever we go

Watching ‘em gamble everything they own

The group stopped arguing as the sound of glass breaking filled the room. KAz swung his cane one more time and a strangled bird cry came out. He stuck his hand out the broken window and grabbed the bird. Throwing it onto the table in anger.

“A cardinal.” Inej whispered.

Kaz slammed his hand down on the table, “She knows! She knows! How does she always know!” He yelled, picking up a glass and throwing it all the wall, causing Nina to flinch and Jesper instinctively step closer to Wylan. Kaz looked up with death in his eyes. “Change of plans. We’re killing the Cardinal. No matter the cost.

Singing oh, oh-oh-oh, oh

Trouble

(Trouble)

“Ready girls?” Y/n whispered into the small, barely workable communication device that her Fabrikator, Aisha (Raven), had been working on for months.

“Yeah.” Luna (Eagle) whispered back.

“Ready, C.” Patty (Hawk) responded.

“Steph?” Y/n asked as she pulled her dark red hood over her head.

A few grunts were heard before Stephanie's ( voice filled their ears, “Yep, ready boss.”

Y/n smiled as she began to climb down the walls of the building to the top window, careful to stay out of the Wraiths' sight. “Great. Let’s commit some crimes. Shall we?”

Stephanie giggles, the clicking of her guns being prominent. “Oh, we shall. Ooo, my fellow sharpshooter, my favorite.”

The line went quiet as Y/n carefully crawled through the opened window, landing silently in the office. She walked briskly to the desk, quietly rummaging through the drawers. She let out a gasp as her arm was pulled back and a familiar cane wrapped around her neck, causing her back to be flush against someone's chest.

Trouble coming in the dead of night

Trouble making everything alright

“Looking for something?” Kaz said quietly into her ear, proud as to finally catch the Cardinal.

Y/n sighed with a smirk, “Yes. I am.” She said before kicking out his leg, being sure to not hit his bad one. He grunted and took a step back, keeping the cane around her throat. She took the chance to duck out of the way and push him back against the wall, raising her dagger in between the two.

“Y’know, I was very offended to find out you killed my bird.” Y/n said, her hood shielding her eyes.

“Should’ve told it to stay away. The Crow is stronger than the Cardinal after all.”

Y/n laughed, “Oh, Kaz. You should know by now strength is not the most valuable trait of this lifestyle. It’s intelligence-” Kaz’s eyes widened.

“In which I’d have the upperhand on both of you.” A new voice said as two arms knocked the dagger from Y/n’s hands, bringing them behind her back and ripping the hood from her head. Kaz stared at her as people grabbed him as well. He had never truly seen the Cardinal without her hood, and he hated to admit how her face made his heart stutter,

It’s in your blood

It’s in your bones

You cannot sleep for

The two hostages were dragged down the stairs to see their fellow partners bound in ropes. They pushed the two down on their knees next to each other, causing Kaz to let out a grunt as his leg bent weird. Y/n sighed, disappointed in her lack to see the real trap behind Kaz’s.

“Well, well, well. Look what I have found.” Pekka said with a disgusting smile, looking at each of the criminals tied up. “A bunch of little thieves who think they are so smart.” Pekka continued on his speech as Y/n struggled with her binds. If only she could reach her ear.

“Kaz.” She whispered quietly, careful to not let the boasting man hear.

“What?” He hissed angrily.

She sighed again, “I need you to kiss my ear.”

Kaz almost looked like he was going to hurl, causing the girl to roll her eyes.

“What the fuck? No way.” He whispered back.

Whoa, oh

Tro-tro-trouble, trouble

“Do you want to get out of this?”

“How will kissing your ear help?”

“Just do it, for Saint’s sake!”

“Hey! Quiet, little bird.” Pekka said, walking over and caressing the girl's face with her own blade. She looked at him in disgust and spit in his face, causing everyone's eyes to widen. Pekka calmly wiped the spit from his face before angrily sliding the dagger against her cheek, slicing her skin.

Y/n smiled at him, “Red is my favorite color, you know?”

Pekka glared at her in anger, “Useless slut.” He said before walking back to his men, pulling them into a circle and talking quietly.

“Now!” She whispered to Kaz who reluctantly brought his lips to her ear, ignoring the water pooling around his knees. His lips met a piece of cold metal and he pulled back, actually looking into her ear to see a weird device.

“What is that?” He questioned, eyebrows raised.

Y/n ignored him, “Raven, are you there?” She whispered to nothing, before a relieved smile came across her face. “Emergency. Help. Now.”

Woah, oh

Here comes trouble, trouble

After a few moments the door of the house burst open, letting in birds of all different kinds, all flocking around and clawing at anything they could get their claws on, Pekka and his men included and targeted.

“Hey, Cardinal.” A voice whispered from behind the girl as she cut her restraints.

“Raven, good timing.” Y/n responded with a smile, taking the dagger Aisha handed her. “Free the other Scarlets. Leave the Crows for now.”

“No, you let us go. I helped you.” Kaz protested as a few of Pekkas men ran out of the house.

“No can do, Brekker.” Y/n said before pulling her hood back up and going to fight off the men that weren’t scared by the birds.

After a few moments a disgruntled, furious yell broke out, “I will get you and kill you all!” Pekka screamed as he ran from the house, scratches littering his skin.

Y/n whistled to the birds, causing them all to stop and fly out the door, their duty finally fulfilled. Her Scarlets stood beside her as she studied the Crows, still tied up and on the floor, a few adorning bird scratches.

“Free them.” She demanded her girls, who broke out in protest. She raised her hand and they silenced. “They will not kill us. They need us, as we need them.” She addressed their concerns and they reluctantly cut the ropes binding their hands. Immediately Inej stood and got into a fighting stance. Her fellow Crows followed after, other than Kaz, who simply lifted his hand to tell them to be calm.

“We need you, do we?” He asked, taking a step towards the Cardinal.

“Yes, as do we, you. Pekka Rollins is, obviously, after us both. We are small groups. Six in yours, five in mine. Rollins has dozens of Dime Lions. It is simply impossible for one of us alone to take him down. You know that, hence why you didn’t let your Crows attack. Isn’t that correct?”

“Unfortunately it is. We shall work together.” Every bird in the room protested. “Until Pekka is down.”

Y/n smiled and held out her hand, “And then you can go back to getting bested by the Night Scarlets.

“I’m not planning on it.” He said, not raising his hand, and Y/n, ever so observant, had noticed his touch aversion ages ago.

“Air shake.”

“No.”

“Come on.”

“No.”

“It’s not a deal unless we shake on it.”

“No.”

“I’ll kill you.”

“No.”

“You don’t have weapons.”

“No.”

“I’m smarter than you.”

“No.”

“I’m cooler than you.” Everyone laughed, even Kaz had let a small, smug smirk fall upon his lips.

“You aren’t.” He said, pretending to shake the girl's hand without touching it.

There are dogs on the loose, there are snakes in the desert (in the desert)

I’m that knife in your boot, girl, I got ya (Girl, I got ya)

I’m your number two man in a fight (In a fight)

“And then, we win. Easy peasy.” Y/n said, finishing explaining the plan to the now group of nine.

“Easy peasy my ass.” Jesper mumbled.

“Language, Jes. A kruge.” Y/n smiled triumphantly as Jesper rolled his eyes and handed the girl a kruge. In the three months the two groups had been working together they had become quite close.

“Oh, yeah. I’m so ready for this. We’re so gonna win.” Patty said with a large smile, her arm linked with Nina’s who nodded along.

Y/n laughed slightly, “We will. Now go. Get rest. You’ll need it. We have a big day tomorrow.”

We are revolutionaries tonight

Singing oh, oh-oh-oh, oh

Trouble

(Trouble)

The office emptied, leaving the Crow and Cardinal. Kaz stared at the map, thinking hard.

“Kaz, what’s on your mind?” Y/n asked, placing her hand next to his to provide comfort without actually touching him.

“We can’t do it. We aren’t strong enough.” He muttered and Y/n laughed. Kaz looked at her in annoyance.

“Kaz. We are just about the strongest lot Kerch has seen. We’ve got this. We’re the coolest bunch in Ketterdam.”

Kaz shook his head with a smile he only let out around her. A genuine, happy smile. “Yes, we’re so cool. Do cool people always talk about how cool they are, though?”

Y/n nodded, “Obviously. Have you met me?” She asked with a teasing smile.

“Unfortunately, I have.”

Trouble coming in the dead of night

Trouble making everythin’ alright

Y/n put her hand over her heart with a gasp. “I’m hurt. You, Kaz R. Brekker, have wounded me right in the heart.” He smiled at the use of his real last names initial, something she had always done once she learned his last name was truly Rietveld.

It’s in your blood

It’s in your bones

You cannot sleep for

“Oh no, Kaz, I'm Feeling light headed.” Y/n said, stumbling back towards the bed. She fell once the back of her calves hit the bed frame. “I see the light!” She said, reaching her arm up towards the sky. “Oh, it’s getting brighter! Kaz! It’s getting brighter!” She portrayed blood spurting from her chest, before spasming and falling limp, her tongue hanging from her mouth.

She failed to hide her smile as Kaz’s oh so beautiful laugh filled the air. It was like music to her ears. Compared to most people, Y/n got through Kaz’s walls rather quickly, which surprised everyone, including Kaz himself. She had provided him a safe space, free from the water and cold skin and lifeless eyes.

Y/n continued to play dead even after the laughter stopped, not failing to hear the footsteps nearing the bed, causing her heart to speed up. In just a moment, a soft hand gripped hers and pulled her body up as Kaz pulled her into a hug.

“Thank you.” He whispered, before quickly pulling away before the water rose above his head.

Heat creeped up Y/n’s neck, “For?”

“Making me look cooler by your loserness.” He simply said before walking out, pretending nothing happened.

Y/n smiled to herself, falling back onto the bed, a dreamy sigh falling from her lips. She kicked the air while giggling in excitement. Oh, how whipped the Cardinal was for the Crow.

Crazy.

Woah, oh

Here comes trouble, trouble

#aanoia #romance #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagine #inej gahfas #six of crows #six of crows x reader #crooked kingdom #shadow and bone #leigh bargudo #kazzle dazzle #Spotify

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plazmafields · 6 months

Text

Some thoughts about Kerry:

Spoilers ahead, needless to say.

I saw a video comparing the two versions if Chippin' In (Kerry's vs. Johnny's) where someone in the comments suggested the reason Kerry leaned more mainstream rock is because he only wanted to make music for money. I completely disagree with this and here's why:

User Friendly was the last song Kerry put out before deciding he wasn't going to perform live/tour anymore and went into a deep depression. Looking up the lyrics, you can see he was becoming very distressed with the lack of control he had over his career, and the things he says in the song sound like a cry for help that wasn't received by listeners the way he had hoped. We never hear his version of the song, and I believe that is intentional. Vapid, loud, chaotic, almost over-stimulating laser-pop is such a huge juxtaposition to the lyrics, and yet it's the only version we get to hear. Clearly User Friendly meant a lot to him or I don't think he would have reacted the way he did; combined with the cover being done by a pop group groomed by the music industry to sell as many albums as possible, it all went against Kerry's original intent with the song. Then there's the story of how he wrote Bleed the Beat: he was working his ass off for people he couldn't stand and that song was his outlet during that time. He'd play until his fingers bled just to get his frustrations out. Music is his medium for release, just like it was for Johnny.

In Johnny's version of Chippin' In, the phrase "chipping in" has two meanings: getting your first implants, and, the same as our universe, helping out. Johnny's song uses both meanings interchangeably during the choruses, the verse before it dictating which definition is being used. Johnny's arm is (from what I can tell looking at the design) military issue. The song is both about the corpo military forcing him to get an implant, and also about believing he was doing the right thing when he joined by "helping out" the armed forces. Since, in this universe, militaries are owned and/or sponsored by corporations, Johnny views corporate jobs and military service to be the same level of morally wrong (The Ballad of Buck Ravers attests to this).

In terms of how the two songs compare, obviously Kerry's version of Chippin' In is meant to have more wide appeal. Not only are the lyrics more tame, mostly just talking about the implants themselves and only having one verse that even mentions anything "political", but I believe Kerry understood that the best way to get his music to the most listeners was to go for a more mainstream sound and universally relatable lyrics, so he toned it down. Everyone hates corpos, sure, but not everyone wants to bomb Araska HQ. This is probably a stretch, but we can see from the flashbacks that Kerry didn't have any implants during his time in Samurai, so maybe Johnny was like super opposed to implants after having one forced upon him, and Kerry's version of the song is kind of saying "hey if you want implants get implants, they make you look cool don't feel bad about it."

I do support the idea that Kerry should have been bisexual like in the source material. I absolutely get that bi erasure is a big problem, ESPECIALLY with male characters. However, I respect that in the game you can only romance him with a masc V; I'm not going to mod him to he bi, I'm not gonna ship him with women. I see it the same way I see Cullen from DAI: he is canonically bisexual, just not attracted to my male Inquisitor (in Kerry's case, fem V). Maybe Kerry had such a traumatic divorce from his ex-wife that women just kinda scare him right now. We can see high heels and bras and blush littering his house, so we can assume that at the very least women are still getting naked for some reason or another at his parties. Maybe he prefers men romantically, or maybe he's just not ready to date women again, and we as players should respect that just like we would a real person.

Kerry was 100% going to kill himself when you show up to his house. There are shards advertising robotic security systems in numerous places around his house (meaning he fired his human body guards), shards with negative reviews of his last album, there is only one camera and it is by the front gate (none inside the house), he gave his cleaner and cook "the day off" that very day, you see in emails that his ex-wife is giving him the option of all or nothing with custody (you take the kids or you don't get to see them), and he isn't enjoying making music anymore, his one passion in life. He had a gun with him in the bathroom, and I believe by the way his speech slurs and he makes the impulsive decision to get Samurai back together, that he is drunk for that entire scene and has a drinking problem. It is my opinion that the reason he doesn't reveal any of that to V is because he knows Johnny will hear it and judge him, call him weak, or make insensitive jokes like he does to V when he gives you the quest. The only time we see Kerry be somewhat vulnerable is 1. Over text when talking about the crazed fan, since he probably thinks Johnny can't see those (I believe he can) and 2. In the epilogue when Johnny has been removed from V's head (Kerry says he doesn't want to lose V, and during the credits he tells V he just wants their lives to be less hectic so they can spend more time together).

It took me a couple playthroughs to warm up to Kerry, Panam is probably still my favorite romance, but I think Kerry might be the best romance option for a Skreetkid V. He perfectly embodies the plights of Night City at every income bracket: no matter where you are on the food chain, if you're not at the top, you're getting fucked over. He clearly likes living in comfort while still embracing his rebellious side from his youth. But now, he has the cushion of money and status to save him if things go tits up (when you get a wanted level in Westbrook district, close to North Oak, the officer on the police scanner says "I swear, if its Eurodyne again" suggesting that he is very reckless but hardly ever faces real consequences). Maybe he stays in his gilded cage because he fears facing real hardship on his own, without friends, without a support group, without Johnny. He has a strong sense of pride, though, and would never admit to needing Johnny, even if they were best friends. The way Kerry wants to show Johnny a riff he's been working on after the concert, only to be disappointed when V takes over again, I think it really shows that as much as they disagreed, their friendship held the band together.

I don't remember if Johnny hints at it or I saw someone suggest this on here, but the idea that Kerry only "dates" V because Johnny is in his head is ridiculous to me. The first time he called you to deal with the Us Cracks tour gear, he wanted Johnny. Every time after that, he wanted V. He definitely realizes which of the two is helping him; he can tell them apart. The Johnny that Kerry remembers wouldn't have done a selfless thing in his life, lest risking his pride and reputation as Night City's biggest fuckboy. Whether you really schmooze him up or tell him he's going overboard, Kerry appreciates that you helped him. And I think after the concert, when he hands V his gun, Kerry's body language suggests that he wasn't planning to give the gun to Johnny, he thought about it because V was back in control. V helped get the band back together, V helped decide if Denny or Henry should play the gig, V was the one who brought Johnny to Kerry's house. Johnny won't take over to do it himself despite probably being able to. I only wish you didn't meet him so late in the main story, so that his story could have more time and space to breathe.

#cyberpunk #cyberpunk 2077 #cbp 2077 #kerry eurodyne #cyberpunk kerry #cbp2077 #ramble #my thoughts #my theories #the gays must be tragic #otherwise what's the point #tw sui ideation

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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 8 months

Text

A Dead Man & his Raven

Chapter 1

Note: happy spooky season! this fic is inspired by The Crow, Sihtric being based on Eric Draven. Song lyrics mentioned: Run Away From The Sun by VV.

Warning for entire series: 18+! angst/fluff. this story deals with death, losing a loved one, depression, suicidal thoughts/attempts (no details), murder (described), violence. There is also a lot of fluff, but you have been warned.

Warnings for this chapter: mention of drugs, attempted robbery, violence, murder (described), suicidal thoughts/attempts (not described).

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: You remembered your life with Sihtric, with a smile and a whole lot of tears.

wordcount: 3,5k

Masterlist

'I'm okay as long as you are okay.'

Prologue.

Sihtric shivered in the cold and pouring rain. Barefoot and shirtless, stumbling through the dark and deserted streets. His legs gave out underneath him after every few steps he took, causing him to fall down to his knees repeatedly, bruising his hands each time he caught himself. Wet strands of his shoulder length hair stuck to his pale, emotionless face, which carried remainders of mud, as did his bare, muscular arms and his toned torso. His tattooed fingers were bleeding, and his nails were short, dirty and broken.

Clawing your way out of a coffin and digging yourself up from the dirt looks easier in the movies.

For a dead man, Sihtric felt awfully alive right now, even his warm breath was visible in the cold night’s air.

A sick grin tugged at his lips when he remembered why he came back, exactly one year after he was murdered, in the very street he now stumbled through, making his way back home.

He came back because his soul had been unable to rest ever since. He came back because Odin had granted him some more time in the land of the living, to get his revenge on those who had taken his life away from him.

To take the lives of those who had taken his life with you away from him.

He came back because he loved you, and you never got to say goodbye.

The Proposal.

You drove down the highway, going home after yet another late night shift at work. The weather was terrible. Rain slammed against your window and you could barely see ahead of you in the dark night. You hated the late shifts, but they paid more, and you desperately needed the money if you wanted to be able to pay the rent for the loft you lived in. Friends and family had advised you to move out months ago already, to find something smaller and affordable, but you could never leave that place.

The spacious loft was your home, and it had been for many years. It was the home you had lived in with your late, underground gothic rockstar fiancé, Sihtric Kjartansson. He had been fortunate enough to make a decent living out of being a musician for a few years already, by the time you wanted to move in together, and you both fell in love with the loft during your first and only viewing of the place. It had two floors, a huge roof window and a balcony. It was perfect, and Sihtric had immediately transferred the downpay after the viewing. One week later you were painting the walls black and started to move your belongings into your dream home. The loft was also where Sihtric had proposed to you, on Halloween night, which would be exactly two years ago tomorrow.

In hindsight, his proposal had been reckless and dangerous; you could've burned the entire place down within minutes, and you were still amazed that it hadn't happened.

Sihtric, the hopeless romantic, had lit dozens of candles on the stairs, making for a trail all the way up to the huge second floor, which was only occupied with a bed and a few of his guitars, leaving a sea of space, which you both loved. And Sihtric had used that space on the second floor wisely, filling it entirely with candles and red rose petals, which were scattered out over the dark, wooden floor. When you came home late afternoon that day, after work, you were confused as to why the light switch didn't work, and you quickly walked out of the narrow hallway, through the door and into the dimly lit living room. You gasped and dropped your bag and keys as you stared at the countless candles in the loft, illuminating the high ceiling with a soft, orange glow. You were speechless, and Sihtric spooked you when he quietly snuck up behind you, covering your eyes with his big, warm hands. You jumped, but then laughed when you heard Sihtric's soft chuckle in your ear as he squeezed you in his strong arms.

'My angel,' he spoke softly, with his smooth voice.

His soft, smooth voice you loved so much, which had become harder and harder to recall as the months passed by since you had last heard it. You could always hear his voice if you'd listen to his band, but you never did. It was too painful.

After Sihtric had scared you and spoke in your ear, you turned around to find him shirtless, wearing only his black sweatpants and a black leather wristband that had your name on it, spelled out in runes, which he wore religiously every day.

'Darling,' you giggled, 'what is this? What happened to the lights?'

'I switched off the electricity,' Sihtric said, with amusement in his voice as his hands slid down to your hips, 'did I scare you?'

'You did,' you smiled, tucking his wild, loose hair behind his ear as he gazed down into your eyes with his own big, mismatched, love-filled pair.

'I'm sorry, my love,' he whispered with a half smile and pecked your lips, 'I just wanted to surprise you.'

'Surprise me?' you asked, squinting your eyes at him, 'what's the occasion?'

'Hm,' Sihtric hummed and bit down on his lip, smiling, 'the occasion being you,' he took your face in his hands, 'making me the happiest man alive,' he said, then kissed your lips, 'I love you, my angel, forever and ever and ever,' he chuckled, 'and even in death I will still love you.'

Before you could speak, he already lifted you up his arms and carried you up the stairs, where you felt breathless at the beautiful sight of at least a hundred burning candles, and an insane amount of rose petals scattered out, leaving only a small clear path to the bed. And above the bed, on the large, wooden shelf, Sihtric had placed even more candles. You already felt yourself tear up at just the sight and the thought of how much effort he had put into simply wanting to surprise you. And that was before you even knew that the big surprise wasn't just the romantic decoration, it was the proposal that would follow shortly.

'It's beautiful,' you whispered, after Sihtric had put you back on your feet, 'thank you, baby boy,' you kissed his cheek and earned a shy chuckle from your boyfriend, who had the biggest weak spot for any pet name you'd call him.

Despite his intense, vampiresque look, Sihtric was a very emotional and passionate guy, with a big heart and a delicate soul. All he wanted in life was to feel loved, but only by you. And he always said that the only thing he needed to breathe was to be loved by you, and to play guitar whenever he wasn't making love to you.

'Come,' Sihtric smiled as he took your hand, carefully leading you in between the flickering flames, towards the bed.

He took your coat off and threw it on the floor, nearly catching fire. Without him having to ask, you moved up on the bed. Sihtric was quick to follow, slowly crawling over to you like a wolf. And he leaned in, lovingly trapping your body underneath his own.

'My angel,' he breathed, his lips brushing lightly over yours, 'even if I had endless time with you, I still wouldn't be able to get enough of you.'

You smiled and closed your eyes when he kissed your lips, gentle and slow, allowing his tongue to carefully taste you and explore inside your mouth as his hands tangled in your hair.

'I will always want more of you,' Sihtric whispered, 'I'm a greedy bastard like that,' you both chuckled at his words, 'and I am greedy, because I want to be the only one who could ever own your heart.'

He smiled and sat back, reached into his pocket, then leaned in again, taking your chin gently with his fingers.

'My sweetest angel,' Sihtric whispered, and held a subtle but stunning ring up to you, 'will you marry me and be mine, forever and eternally, not even allowing death to do us part?'

You had managed to say yes in between your ugly crying and soft sobs, and Sihtric was an emotional mess all the same when he saw how perfect the ring he had picked fitted your finger.

'Do you like the ring?' he asked as he wiped a tear off his cheek.

'I do,' you sniffled with a smile, 'it's perfect. You're perfect.'

'Hm,' Sihtric smiled shyly, 'no, I'm not perfect,' he said, then took the black and white painted mask that hung above the bed, and he covered his face, 'maybe now, perhaps?'

'Also now,' you smiled, 'you're always perfect to me,' you said and took the mask out of his hands, 'but nothing beats that perfect face you so love to hide. I love you, Sihtric.'

He smiled and leaned in, softly brushing the tip of his nose against yours.

'Say that again?' he whispered.

'I love you,' you giggled as he climbed on top of you.

'I love you too, pretty baby,' Sihtric said, softly, 'I'm so fucking lucky to have you,' he kissed your lips and gazed into your eyes, 'make love to me?' he breathed.

'Hm, make love?' you taunted, 'we should wait till marriage now, don't you think?'

Sihtric frowned at you, and then you both snorted.

'I'm sure I can find someone to marry us early in the morning if that's the case,' he laughed and kissed you again. 'Come on, my angel,' he whispered, smiling softly as he cupped your cheeks, 'make a little love to me?'

And you did. You made sweet, passionate and slow love under the bright full moon, who was a witness to the intimate night as she peeked through the roof window. Your fingers curled in Sihtric's long and messy hair, while he leaned his forehead against yours, slowly bucking his hips into you. He looked at you with heavy-lidded eyes, and with each thrust, soft moans spilled from his slightly parted lips, which were curled into a soft smile.

And once you had both felt that pure bliss of your own highs, you cuddled up in bed. And as Sihtric tried to throw the sheets over your bare body, it accidentally caught fire as it reached the candlelit floor. He jumped up and managed to quickly slap out the small flame while you stared at him with big eyes. When Sihtric turned back to you, you started to laugh, and he was fast to bury his face in your neck, ashamed.

'I better extinguish the candles now, huh?' he mumbled.

'How will you do that without triggering the alarm, or simply suffocating us?'

Sihtric looked up at you, then at the insane amount of candles, and he chuckled shyly.

'Fuck,' he sighed, and tried to hide his face in your neck again, but you were quick to cup his cheeks.

'My hopeless romantic, clumsy boy,' you smiled and kissed his lips, 'you never fail to amaze me, good and bad.'

'Darling,' Sihtric grinned, 'you know who you just got engaged to, right? Your entire life will consist of me not always being the brightest guy. That's why I need you.'

'Maybe not always the brightest guy,' you shrugged, 'but definitely the sweetest,' you smiled and trailed your hands up his muscular chest, 'and the sexiest.'

'I'll take that,' Sihtric laughed softly, before he wasted almost an hour to snuff out each candle, without triggering the fire alarm.

You teared up at the entire memory as you drove home, and as if you weren't hurting enough yet, the radio station you were listening to started playing the last song Sihtric's band ever released, only one week before he died. You froze at the sound of his voice and the words he had written for you, which now tore your heart open and threw salt in your wounds.

Let me hold you

And dream of a life

We belong to another world…

You had to pull over to the side of the road as you couldn't drive safely anymore. The torturous pain continued as you just couldn't get yourself to switch off Sihtric's voice.

Run away from the sun, to me

Run away from the Sun, into my arms

Disappear with me, love

Dive into the dark…

You punched your fists against the passenger seat as you screamed and cried, asking over and over again why Sihtric was taken away from you, and why you were still alive, when all you wanted was to die.

And god knows you tried, numerous times, to join him in death. But each time you had tried to end your life, you had been startled and interrupted by a huge raven, pecking violently at your window, as if in panic, causing you to lose the courage to continue your attempt.

Devil's night.

The raven started to show up a few weeks after Sihtric was murdered right in front of you.

It happened the night before your wedding day, the night before last Halloween. You walked on the street together, his arm around your neck as your arm was circled around his waist, underneath his long leather jacket. Sihtric kept pecking your cheek lovingly, and stopped walking after every few steps you took together, so he could kiss your lips, and so taking forever to get home. The streets were already quite alive, as many people celebrated Devil's Night, causing havoc and mischief on the night before All Hallow's eve.

'Sihtric,' you giggled, after he had stopped you once again, to pick you up in his arms and push you up against the wall of a random apartment building, so he could kiss you and stick his tongue down your throat.

'What?' he chuckled and bit down on his lip, completely love-drunk, 'can't I kiss my soon to be wife?'

'You can,' you smiled and nuzzled his nose, 'but preferably at home, honey. We should get off the streets as soon as we can. I don't like being out during this night.'

'I know, my angel,' Sihtric whispered and gave you another soft kiss before he put you back on your feet, 'let's go then, love,' he wrapped his arm around you again and walked you around the corner, heading into the street the loft was located at.

And just when you did, you were greeted by a group of guys, clearly drunk and high on drugs. They eyed you up within a second and liked what they saw. The men started to whistle, soon followed by their catcalling, much to Sihtric's displeasure. Sihtric was very protective of you, which you loved, but he also knew that you hated it whenever he got into a fight because of it. And the last thing he wanted was to show up to his own wedding with a black eye or something of the likes. So he tried his hardest to ignore the disgusting words that were thrown at you, and he pulled you with him across the street, away from the men.

'Hey,' one of them hissed to his friends, unbeknownst to you, 'isn't he that guitarist and singer guy? That goth dude from that one band?'

And so they figured Sihtric must have some money on him, which they desperately wanted, as they ran out of drugs fast that night. Sihtric felt the group had followed across the street, and were now stalking the two of you in the night as you made way to your home.

'Stay close, angel,' Sihtric whispered as he tightened his arm around you, pulling you with him as he gradually sped up the pace you walked in.

You suddenly felt nauseous, as if you just knew something bad was about to happen. Sihtric felt the threatening tension too and already reached into his jacket, resting his hand on the dagger he always carried with him, hoping he wouldn't need it. But when he felt a hand on his shoulder while you were suddenly pulled out of his embrace, he didn't hesitate to stab the knife into the shoulder of whichever one of the drunks had just grabbed him. You screamed at the sight of the man collapsing, but still breathing, and you kicked your feet at the guy who had taken a hold of you. Sihtric punched your attacker in his face, pulled you back towards him and he shoved you behind his back.

'Leave!' Sihtric shouted, after which one of the men immediately ran away, knowing their planned robbery had spiralled out of control.

The rest of the guys seemed to slowly back off as well, as a few went to check on their stabbed friend, who would be fine eventually. Sihtric carefully pushed you to walk while he stepped backwards, keeping his eyes on the group. And when it seemed like the sudden violence and threat was over, he turned to you and took your face in his hands.

'Are you okay, baby?' he asked, 'are you hurt, love?'

'I-I'm not hurt,' you said as you trembled, and Sihtric wrapped his arms around you.

'Oh, darling, come here,' he hushed you with a kiss, 'I'm sorry this happened.'

'It's not your fault, sweetheart,' you said, and tears took over when the adrenaline left your body, 'but are y-you okay?'

'I'm okay as long as you are okay,' Sihtric smiled softly and wiped away your tears.

'Let's just go home, Siht,' you sniffled, 'I just want to go home with you, baby.'

'We will, love, we will go home now. I will always go home with you,' Sihtric said and kissed your cheek, 'I love you, my angel, forever,' he kissed your lips softly, 'forever, and ever and ever and even in death,' Sihtric chuckled softly, 'I love you so much, angel. I can't wait to make you my wife tomorro-'

A sudden gunshot startled you, echoing through the night and scaring birds out of their trees, cutting off Sihtric's words while you felt wet, warm drops splatter across your face. Sihtric lost his grip on you as blood suddenly gushed down both sides of his head, onto his cheeks, down his neck, and he immediately fell backwards, down on the hard, concrete ground, where you saw his life leave his mismatched eyes as he instantly died.

Once you realised what had happened, you fell down to your knees. Your trembling hands moving over Sihtric's lifeless body as his blood pooled around you, soaking your clothes. You brought your hands to the fatal wounds, desperately trying to stop the bleeding, as if it could still make a difference.

'No, no,' you whispered, 'Sihtric,' you grabbed his shoulders and shook him, 'Sihtric, wake up. Please.'

You sat back when he didn't move, raking your blooded hands through your hair, pulling your locks as you felt a certain kind of madness crawl into your body, settling in your bones. With eyes painfully wide open, you stared down at the man you were supposed to marry in less than 24 hours.

'Siht,' you said softly and let out a sob as you leaned in again, 'baby, please. Please wake up,' you kept trying and took his face in your hands again. 'No, no, no,' you breathed, 'come back, love, please. I- I love you. I need you here, baby, please!'

Your tears blurred your vision and fell down on Sihtric's pale face, merging with his still warm blood, and in your slow approaching insanity, you kissed his lips and face all over, while you kept begging him to wake up.

This wasn't real. This couldn't be real. This is not what was supposed to happen.

You were supposed to grow old with him. To marry him, to travel the world with him and to eventually have kids with him. You were supposed to make love with him, for hours on end. You were supposed to laugh at his silly jokes and his clumsiness. You were supposed to smile and blush whenever he let you hear another song he wrote for you, or when he'd read you a poem he wrote for you, in which he'd always declare his undying love for you. You were supposed to go home together that night, where you had planned to get in bed and make sweet love under the clear, starry night, which you would gaze up at through the roof window afterwards, when you'd cuddle and whisper sweet nothings to each other.

But instead of all those things, you started to scream beyond your control, you didn't even know such inhuman sounds could leave your lips as you screamed at Sihtric to wake up.

'You can't leave! You're not supposed to leave me yet!' you sobbed, 'you're supposed to come home with me! Please!' you wrapped your arms around him as cops and medics came rushing in the street, which had been warned by a bypasser.

You held Sihtric's heavy, lifeless body tightly in your arms as you screamed and cried, until the medics tried to pull you away.

'No!' you cried and fought them off, 'he is supposed to go home with me! He- he said he would come home with me!'

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