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zvaigzdelasas · 8 months

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[AlJazeera is Qatari State Media]

[5:18 GMT - 7:52 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

[5:18 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

The leader of Hamas’s military wing says the group has launched a new operation against Israel. In a rare public statement, Mohammed Deif said that 5,000 rockets had been fired into Israel early Saturday to begin “Operation Al-Aqsa Storm”. Israel also reported an infiltration from Gaza. “We’ve decided to say enough is enough,” Deif said as he urged all Palestinians to confront Israel.[...]

[5:26 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Here are some more lines by the statement of Mohammed Deif, head of the al-Qassam Brigades, the military wing of Hamas: “We have already warned the enemy before. The occupation committed hundreds of massacres against civilians. Hundreds of martyrs and wounded died this year due to the crimes of the occupation. “We announce the start of Operation Al-Aqsa Flood, and we announce that the first strike, which targeted enemy positions, airports, and miltary fortifications, exceeded 5,000 missiles and shells.”[...]

[5:45 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

More than 5,000 rockets were fired from the Gaza Strip into Israel in the first 20 minutes of the operation, Hamas’s armed wing has said. “We decided to put an end to all the crimes of the occupation (Israel), their time for rampaging without being held accountable is over,” the group said. Israel said it had activated its Iron Dome defence system.[...]]

[5:49 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

The Israeli army says it has declared a “state of readiness for war”.[...]

[5:50 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Saleh al-Arouri, deputy chief of Hamas in the occupied West Bank, has issued a call to arms.[...] “The West Bank is the final word in this battle, and it can open a clash with all the settlements in the West Bank. We call on our people to participate in the battle of Al-Aqsa Flood.”[...]

[5:53 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

The Israeli army says it has started an operation aimed at Hamas targets in the Gaza Strip. “There are many pictures circulating on social media especially Palestinian Telegram channels showing Israeli soldiers in Gaza, but as captives,” Al Jazeera’s Ali Hashem said.[...]

[6:05 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Videos circulating on social media have shown Palestinian fighters driving Israeli army vehicles into Gaza.

[6:06 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

“On the streets, we’ve also seen the military vehicles in Gaza with Palestinian youth in the vehicles roaming about the streets happily,” she said. “The Israeli response to all this is going to be different from other times because nothing that has come out of Gaza before has been this strong. This is a first in the history of Gaza, for soldiers to go into Israeli towns, hold armed confrontations,” she added.[...]

[6:09 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Rockets are still being launched from Gaza towards Israel. The sound of Israel’s Iron Dome defence system being activated in response can be heard.[...]

[6:12 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Hamas fighters have taken control of the police station in Israel’s Sderot and a number of people have been injured in a fire exchange, the Israel Broadcasting Authority has reported.[...]

[6:14 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Organisers of protests against the Israeli government’s judicial overhaul plan have cancelled their weekly demonstration scheduled for Saturday night.

“We stand with the residents of Israel and give full support to [the security forces],” the protest organisers said in a statement quoted by the Israeli media. They also called on the people who were planning to participate in the protest “to play their part to safeguard the security and health of the residents of Israel”.[…]

[6:18 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

The Palestinian Islamic Jihad group has said it is “part of this battle”. “Our cadres stand alongside their brothers in Hamas, shoulder to shoulder, until victory,” a spokesperson said.[…]

[6:20 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Israeli Defence Minister Joav Gallant has approved the mobilisation of reservists, according to his office.[…]

[6:35 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Reporting from Beirut, Lebanon, Al Jazeera’s Zeina Khodr says that Hamas’s call for others to join their operation against Israel could be interpreted as a reminder to Tel Aviv that if attacks against Gaza continue, there will be a response from other fronts.[...] “So far there has been no response from the armed groups in Lebanon. But what have we seen in the past? There has been coordination every time there is a flare-up, or heightened tension in Palestinian territories,” she added.[...]

[6:43 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Stephanie Hallett, the charge d’affaires at the US embassy in Jerusalem, has slammed the rocket attacks from Gaza against Israel. “I condemn the indiscriminate rocket fire by Hamas terrorists against Israeli civilians,” she said in a statement on social media platform X. “I am in contact with Israeli officials, and fully support Israel’s right to defend itself from such terrorist acts,” she added.[...]

[7:13 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Reporting from the Gaza Strip, Al Jazeera’s Youmna ElSayed says that rockets are still being fired “very intensely” from the area. “We’ve seen pictures and videos of Israeli soldiers being killed and videos of Palestinian fighters celebrating around Israeli armed vehicles set on fire,” she said. “We also received a video showing two Israeli soldiers being captured. The video shows that the soldiers are alive and confrontations are still taking place inside those Israeli towns,” she added.[...]

[7:11 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Hundreds of residents in the Gaza Strip have fled their homes to move away from the border with Israel, an AFP correspondent has reported. Men, women and children were seen carrying blankets and food items as they left their homes, mostly in the northeastern part of the Palestinian territory, the reporter said.

[7:29 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Akiva Eldar, a columnist at the Israeli daily Haaretz, says the attack by Hamas should be a wake-up call for Israel. “You can’t go about normalising relations with Arab countries while also trying to expand into Palestinian territories,” he told Al Jazeera. “The image of status quo that you [Israel] can keep Gaza under blockade, you can keep expanding the settlements, and the Palestinian will sit back and say we approve your normalisation with the Gulf countries as long as workers from Gaza can make some money, isn’t going to work,” he added.[...]

[7:29 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

We now have the statement by Ismail Haniya, the head of Hamas’ political bureau[...]

“The enemy besieging Gaza has planned to surprise it and escalate the aggression against our people in the Gaza Strip, in addition to the settlement and aggression that continues every moment in the West Bank, which seeks to uproot our people and expel them from their land, and the crimes of the occupation against our people in the 1948s, as it stands behind all the killing and assassination operations there, and the occupation’s continuation of detaining our prisoners for decades, and reneging on agreements when he re-arrested those liberated from the swap deal. “For all of this, we are waging a battle of honour, resistance and dignity to defend Al-Aqsa, under the title that was announced by Brother Commander-in-Chief Abu Khaled Al-Deif, “Al-Aqsa Flood”. This flood began in Gaza and will extend to the West Bank and abroad, and every place where our people and nation are present.”[...]

[7:47 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Israeli ambassador to the US calls “the free world to unequivocally condemn” the attacks by Hamas and support Israel’s “right to self-defence”.[...]

[7:50 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

President of the European Council Charles Michel says “EU stands in solidarity with Israeli people”. “Strongly condemn the indiscriminate attacks launched against #Israel and its people this morning inflicting terror and violence against innocent citizens,” he wrote on Twitter.[...]

[7:52 GMT, 7 Oct 23]

Israeli army launches ‘Operation Iron Swords’ against the Hamas group in the Gaza Strip, in response to attacks from the territory. Israeli raids have started, as witnesses tell Reuters news agency that explosions are heard in the Gaza city.

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odinsblog · 2 months

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During her arrest, Ayesh was subjected to assault, threats, and insults by Israeli soldiers, according to the Addameer human rights organisation. She was transferred to Israel’s Hasharon Prison before being later taken to Damon Prison, where she is now being held.

Ayesh’s work as a human rights defender rose to the fore during her time at the Ramallah-based Lawyers for Justice, representing Palestinian political detainees in PA prisons. In July, she attended a session on behalf of the group at the United Nations in Geneva, Switzerland.

Tala Nasser, from the Addameer prisoners’ rights group, explained that Ayesh’s arrest comes amid a “violent mass arrest campaign” carried out by Israel since October 7.

The fact that the vast majority of the more than 6,900 Palestinians arrested in the occupied West Bank and East Jerusalem since October 7 have been transferred to administrative detention highlights the arbitrariness of Israel’s arrests, she said.

“This campaign includes activists, human rights defenders and political leaders,” Nassar told Al Jazeera, noting that it is “an attempt to silence them and prevent the exposure of the occupation’s crimes across the whole country”.

In December, Israeli forces also arrested political and civil society leader Khalida Jarrar, who was similarly transferred to administrative detention.

Despite releasing all but three Palestinian female detainees during the latest prisoner exchange with Hamas at the end of 2023, the Israeli army rearrested dozens. Some 80 female prisoners are being held today, all of whom are in the Damon Prison.

Among the 80 are dozens of women from the besieged Gaza Strip, but lawyers are forbidden from visiting them or knowing anything about them.

Several reports have emerged of female detainees from Gaza being physically beaten and abused, including an unknown number of them being held at Israeli military bases and not in prison.

Lawyers say conditions for all Palestinian detainees, including women, are unprecedentedly difficult. Eight Palestinian male prisoners have also died or were killed in Israeli custody since October 7, most of them in the days and weeks after their arrest.

Over the past few months, many videos have emerged of Israeli soldiers stripping, torturing and abusing male prisoners from both the occupied West Bank and the Gaza Strip.

“It is important to note that every female that is arrested is violated in one way or another,” said Nasser. “They are all facing threats, intensive strip searches, verbal assault and physical violence.”

(continue reading)

#politics #palestine #gaza #diala ayesh #israel #political prisoners #israeli hostages #human rights abuses #administrative detainees

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sosuigeneris · 2 months

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Socialite series: mentality

Here is a list of tips I keep pinned on my notes app.

You have to be competent in order for people to be jealous of you. No one is going to be jealous of a lazy bum. Making people jealous isn’t the purpose of your life but it does indicate whether you’re successful or not. The better you are, the more haters you will have. Develop a strong sense of self esteem and get rid of your mediocrity.

If you weren’t invited, not informed or given a late invite - do not go.

Nothing more embarrassing than showing up to an event where you weren’t invited. Now, if you were given a “pity invitation” don’t be rude in declining it. Be polite, cordial and respectfully turn it down.

Learn to be assertive without being aggressive and triggered. Keep a strong hold on your facial expressions and tongue. Raising your voice, rolling your voice, throwing insults only reflects badly on you. Learn to stay calm, cordial, facially inexpressive and poised during uncomfortable situations. You will be seen as someone with an upper hand because you’re clearly not falling for stupid shit and it’s very obviously beneath you.

Every group has the most influential leader. Figure that person out. See who people seek the most validation from, who makes the group decisions, who starts the gossiping - you found em. If you still can’t tell, there’s one more way - the most influential person is the richest or the prettiest in that circle. It’s normally one or the other. Even among rich circles, one person will stand out and people will lick her butthole if they could. I can give a solid example for this. A billionaire got married to his girlfriend, and she’s a part of my private business organisation. The rest of the members in our cohort are rude, indifferent, cliquey and snarky. However, when she enters the room, there is an instant reaction towards her - they all want to be friends with her, they’re nice to her, etc etc. She’s a lovely, sweet and pretty girl (thank God) but it just proves that even among the rich - the person with the most desired value (rich or pretty) stands out. The point being is this - if the most influential person tries you, nip that disrespect in the bud. Do not take shit from this person because the rest of the clique will follow suit. And keep the assertive point in mind.

Be open to different thoughts. But hold your ground and exude confidence. It’s okay if you don’t have an opinion on something. But if you do - don’t feel insecure in expressing it. I have a friend who’s really insecure. She often expresses her mind in a “questioning” way. for instance: a waiter was rude to her. She told us that story. But she seemed so hesitant: “I guess… he was rude??? I thinkkkkk he was rudeeee?” ‘I guess’ ‘I just’ ‘I think’ are what I call insecure statements. They make you look insecure and weak. A lot of insecure people tend to end their sentences in a questioning tone (pitch goes up instead of down). When you end your sentence with your pitch going down, you come across as confident.

When you are a beautiful, smart, well rounded woman, people crave for your validation. People want to be associated with you because it reflects well on them. Do not give your time or energy to bloodsuckers.

Be polite, NOT friendly. Don’t overextend friendship. You’re not their mommy. You don’t have to look out for people.

Pretty privilege exists. Being skinny and pretty 100% changes the way people look at you. They will treat you with respect and kindness.

#i’m just a girl #this is what makes us girls #female manipulator #divine feminine #just girly thoughts #this is a girlblog #female hysteria #it girl #hyper feminine #girlblogging #Socialite series #Socialite #Hypergamy #leveling up #that girl #soft life #level up journey #high value woman

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yelenasdiary · 7 months

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Helloooooo! Happy Kinktober! If you are still taking requests for this event, may I request leader of cult Agatha H. and innocent reader. Agatha chooses someone outside her cult as a new recruit and the mission of her followers is to bring reader and indoctrinate her so that in the end she marries Agatha and have her babies

Everything Is Perfect My Love

Pairing Cult Leader! Agatha Harkness x Innocent! Reader

Summary: After a year of joining what you thought was an organisation to meet new like-minded people, you start to see the world through different eyes.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY! Minors & Men DNI!! Smut, Dark Angst, Dom! Agatha, Sub! Reader, Loss of Virginity, Legal Age Gap, Oral (R Receiving), Magic Strap, Manipulation, Indoctrination, Forced Marriage, Breeding, Mommy Kink, Use of Magic, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Depression | 2.2K

AC:I really liked the idea of cult leader! Agatha!! Thank you for sending this, I hope you enjoy it! Please keep in mind that although Reader seems to be into the whole idea, they are brainwashed and have no idea what is truly happening.

October Special Masterlist

Every morning you woke up with a smile on your face and a new feeling of excitement since joining an organization a year ago. You haven't been the same, in fact, you found yourself happier with the new people around you that you now call your family. Every morning, you all would have breakfast together with the organization's leader, Agatha. She was rather tall, had blue eyes, long and wavy dark brown hair and a slight accent. Without her, you wouldn't be here.

After the murder of your family and the FBI being unable to track down the person who took everything from you, you found yourself in a dark pool of depression. You felt alone and were barely making ends meet until two young women, slightly older than you, stopped you in the street by handing you a flyer for the Coven Organization. A community of women who offer their services in love, respect and acceptance.

When you joined, you were aware that you didn't have the funds to even sign up but you explained things were hard for you right now and you really wanted to give this a try. The girls spoke to their leader, Agatha, who requested to meet you for coffee to discuss an alternative way for you to join the group.

Fast forward a year later and you've never been happier. Each day is different, and you were excited to be with your new family. It took a little bit of time to adjust but you found comfort in Agatha whose door was always open for you whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on. As time went on, you grew rather close to the leader who was a few years older than you. She was kind, loving, gentle and patient with you. She knew you were pure, untouched and shy, exactly how she wanted you.

"Well ladies" Agatha said before wiping any remains of breakfast on her lips onto a napkin, "I'm so very excited to let you know the festivities will commence in a week's time" she announced. The table erupted with cheer and excitement from those who knew what this meant, "you know what to do" Agatha added as her eyes scanned the large table, taking a second to look at everybody in the eye before her blue eyes landed on you. She smiled softly before she rose from her chair, "you are all dismissed, clean up and continue your duties from yesterday" she instructed.

Everybody rose from the table, piling up the dishes from breakfast as Agatha walked over to you and placed her hands on your shoulders from behind, "See me in my office doll" she whispered before placing a kiss on your cheek and walking out of the dining room. The heels on her boots could be heard walking down the hall, fading as she entered her office.

"You're the chosen one!" Salma turned to you, her dark brown eyes full of joy and excitement but her words left you confused, "the chosen one?" you questioned.

"You'll see" Salma replied with a smile before she followed the others into the kitchen to wash up. You wandered down the hall to Agatha's office, knocking before turning the handle. "Come on in my love" her voice spoke from behind the wooden door. You opened the door and entered, closing it behind you.

"Is everything okay Ma'am?" you asked as she walked up to you with a warm smile. "Everything is perfect my love, I wanted to talk to you" she replied, gently cupping your face with her right hand, an electric line of purple left her fingertips, out of sight from your eyes. "You have such beautiful eyes; I could get lost in them forever" she complimented as she saw the hint of her purple magic fill your eyes.

"Thank you, Ma'am," you replied with a blushing smile. Agatha's thumb gently stroked your skin, she had you wrapped around her finger and you didn't even know it. "I love you" she spoke, her eyes never leaving yours as they widened.

"I..I love you too" you admitted, leaving a brief second of silence to be shared between you both before Agatha kissed your lips softly. "Will you be my wife?" she asks, looking into your eyes once more. The purple in your eyes faded, a smile grew on your lips as you nodded, "forever" you replied.

--A Week Later—

It was the night of the festival, the community you called home were dressed in long purple gowns while Agatha's gown was different. Her outfit was purple mixed with different shades of light and dark purples. She sat on her infamous throne as she watched the enjoyment of others with you by her side. The community were celebrating your engagement to their leader alongside the surprise wedding that Agatha planned.

It took you by surprise at first, but you quickly felt comfort and a sense of belonging that you didn't want to ignore. You both said "I do" while looking into each other's eyes and you swore you saw something sparkle ever so slightly in Agatha's eyes. "Tomorrow, we enter the next stage my loves" Agatha turned on her heels to face the following she had made, taking another moment to look everybody in the eyes for a brief second, knowing she was unstoppable.

Later that night, your things were moved from one of the shared rooms and into Agatha's room. "Is there anything you need my love?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around you, pulling you closer. You shook your head, "What is the next stage about?" you asked with a hint of worry in your tone.

"To celebrate you" Agatha replied with a soft smile before brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, "and our love" she added. Looking into your eyes, the only thing she could see was the love and dedication you had for the woman standing in front of you, "you'll do anything for me, won't you love?" she asked. Without a thought, you nodded, "I love you, Ags" you replied, "I'll do anything for you. You saved me" you admitted. "Without you or this community you've created, I would've been lost, maybe not even here" you went on, tears filling your eyes.

"Shhh, my love, it is okay" the dark-haired woman kissed your lips softly before wiping your tears with her thumb, "nothing will ever, ever hurt you again" she added as a promise. "Do you trust me?" she asked, her hands finding your waist again. You nodded once more causing Agatha to smile, "tomorrow will be a very big celebration after tonight" she informed you.

"Why?" you questioned watching Agatha's eyes drop to your lips. "Because my love, you are ready and it's going to be perfect" she answered before kissing your cheek, moving down to your neck. Purple magic flashed from her fingertips out of your vision once more, a soft moan left your lips as you wrapped your arms around the back of Agatha's neck. Her lips were soft and warm as she gently sucked to leave reddish marks as a form of claiming you behind the closed doors.

Carefully, Agatha guided you to the bed, laying you on your back as she continued to kiss and gently mark your neck as light moans left your lips. "M..m..mommy, please" the words left your lips even surprising you as Agatha leant back, looking at you with a smirk. "Oh darling, you're going to so good for mommy" she replied before working her hands up your stomach to remove your tee. Her lips kissed your chest to the valley between your breasts as she unclasped your bra, throwing it to the side.

"W-wait" you stopped her with a hand wrapped around her wrist, "I've n-never" you stuttered, almost too worried to look into her eyes. Agatha kissed your lips once more before looking into your eyes once again, "I know" Agatha admitted, "it's okay, I'm going to take such good care of you my little bug" she added. Her purple magic made your eyes flicker, you nodded, "I trust you" you replied. Her magic was working, of course it was, she studied the dark hold to a tee!

Before you knew it, your panties were thrown to the floor and your body almost covered with the markings of Agatha's lips. She paused her actions for a brief moment to walk over to the wardrobe, grabbing a dark purple plastic dildo and a black harness before undressing herself. You'd never seen somebody as beautiful as Agatha, you wanted her in every way you could think of. The small wet patch that was on your panties would've been a lot bigger if they were still on. You couldn't help but rub the inside of your thighs as you watched the older woman attach the dildo to the harness.

"You look worried my love" Agatha smirked as she walked back over the bed, crawling over you. The tip of the toy rested on top of your pussy; the coldness made you lightly gasp at the feeling. "That's b-big" you replied as your eyes were locked onto the drop that sat against your naked skin. "It'll feel so good inside you baby, I promise" Agatha's words comforted you and she saw that as your body began to relax.

"I won't hurt you my love" she added as she continued to kiss down your body, two of her fingers gently rubbing through your folds. "Mm, let mommy taste you baby" She whispered before lying beside you. Without hesitation, you straddled her face and slowly lowered yourself onto her tongue. You moaned at the feeling of her tongue swirling around your clit, giving you a whole new sensation that you'd never felt before.

Agatha hummed at the taste of you, tipping her tongue inside your untouched hole making you slightly jump. "It's okay love" she reminded you, bringing her thumb to your clit, rubbing soft circles as you moaned her name, "don't stop!" your hands landed on her thighs to for support as she worked her magic on you. "You can cum baby" she said in an almost muffled voice. You weren't exactly sure what she meant by that but that thought didn't last long when you felt your legs shake and a loud moan left your lips.

"You taste so sweet" Agatha hummed after she helped you ride out your high, helping you off her. "That was" you paused, unable to stop yourself from blushing, "great" you added after a moment of silence. Agatha looked at you with a proud smirk, "that's how it's going to feel again, lay back and let mommy breed you baby" she replied with hunger in her eyes. You chuckled at her words knowing she couldn't actually get you pregnant, so you thought.

You laid down and watched as Agatha covered the tip of the fake cock with lube before sliding it up and down between your folds, making you moan once more. "You're going to be such a good mommy" she said as she pushed the tip against your hole. You could already tell it was going to hurt and asked her to stop, "it's going to hurt, I've heard others say it does" you said in fear.

"Only for a few moments, bug" Agatha's hand gently stroked your cheek, "take a deep breath for me" she added before moving her hand from your face to support her as her other hand helped line up her strap. You did as she said and took a deep breath in, your eyes squeezed shut as you felt the toy slowly enter you. "Let it out my love, it's okay, it'll only hurt for a moment" Agatha spoke to calm you.

After a few moments, the pain faded. "I'm okay" you smiled softly at your wife who at your words began to move her hips, sliding the toy in and out of your wet pussy. She was right, she always was. The pain was turned to pleasure as the room filled with the sounds of your moans and Agatha thrusting into you at a faster past.

"You're doing so well for me baby" Agatha praised you.

Your eyes rolled back at the pleasure, she used that moment to spin her magic, making the fake cock something a little more special. Her lips found your neck once more, "I wasn't joking darling, you're going to be the best mother to our babies" she whispered softly into your hear. Your orgasm was building faster with every thrust, your hands wrapped around your new wife's back, nails stretching at her back. "I'll d-do any-anything for you!" you moaned, opening your eyes for Agatha to see her purple-colored magic filling your natural color. With a few more thrusts you came once more, your nails dug harder into Agatha's skin while she released her cum into your wound, painting your insides with her seed. You felt the warmth filling you, but your mind was too hazed to care.

Agatha cleaned you up after a few you both caught your breath; she watched as you pulled the covers over yourself and snuggled into them while she changed into a fresh pair of pajamas. After watching you from afar, having your family murdered, taking you in and now making you hers forever, she couldn't help but smile proudly to herself and she couldn't wait for you to discover your pregnancy even though she already knew her magic had worked.

Taglist: @tryingmybest233333 | @music-4ever |

#yelenasdiary asks #anon #fanfiction #Agatha Harkness #Agatha Harkness x Reader #agatha harkness smut #marvel #kinktober #darktober

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ukrfeminism · 1 year

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2 minute read

JK Rowling is founding and personally funding a new service for women survivors of sexual violence. Launched days before Nicola Sturgeon’s controversial Gender Recognition Reform Bill is expected to pass through the Scottish parliament, the Edinburgh-based centre, Beira’s Place, will be female-only.

The author, who has written about the sexual and domestic abuse she suffered in her twenties, believes there is an “unmet need” for Scottish women who want “women-centred and women-delivered care at such a vulnerable time”. She hopes Beira’s Place, which will employ professional staff to provide free one-to-one and group counselling, “will enable more women to process and recover from their trauma”.

Rowling’s board of directors are all vocal opponents of the Gender Recognition Reform Bill, which will permit anyone to change the legal sex on their birth certificate by making a simple statutory declaration, a process known as self-identification. Feminists, including Reem Alsalem, UN special rapporteur on violence against women and girls, have raised grave concerns it will open up women’s services and private spaces to abuse by male predators.

Beira’s board comprises Rhona Hotchkiss, a former prison governor, who has opposed the Scottish government’s policy of moving trans-identified male sex offenders to women’s jails; Johann Lamont, a former leader of the Scottish Labour Party and a lawyer; Dr Margaret McCartney, an academic, broadcaster and Glasgow GP; and Susan Smith, director of For Women Scotland, a grassroots feminist group founded to fight the gender reform bill. Beira’s chief executive is Isabelle Kerr, a former manager of Glasgow Rape Crisis who received an MBE in 2020 for her work supporting British citizens who had been raped overseas.

The provision of single-sex services has been a key battleground of the gender reform bill. Already in Scotland, most domestic violence refuges and rape support services are “trans inclusive” and accept referrals from both sexes. In recent years councils have removed grants from women-only refuges in favour of generic organisations. Monklands Women’s Aid in North Lanarkshire, which was set up more than 40 years ago, had its council funding withdrawn in favour of a social justice charity which also helps men.

Most controversial is Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre whose chief executive, Mridul Wadhwa, a trans woman, told the Guilty Feminist podcast that women sexual assault victims who request female-only care will be “challenged on your prejudices” and told to “reframe your trauma”.

Yet in her recent book Defending Women’s Spaces, veteran campaigner Karen Ingala Smith, the chief executive of Nia, a domestic abuse charity in London, describes how women traumatised by male violence fare better and feel safer in female therapeutic spaces.

Beira’s Place is legally permitted to exclude males under the exemptions of the 2010 Equality Act, which allows single-sex services if they are “a proportionate means to achieve a legitimate end”.

It is named after Beira, the Scottish goddess of winter. JK Rowling said: “Beira rules over the dark part of the year, handing over to her sister, Bride, when summer comes again. Beira represents female wisdom, power, and regeneration. Hers is a strength that endures during the difficult times, but her myth contains the promise that they will not last for ever.”

The service is not a charity, but privately funded by Rowling, a noted philanthropist. The amount she will donate to set up and run Beira’s Place has not been disclosed.

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hier--soir · 1 year

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under the night | five

pairing: joel miller x f!reader, set in jackson after the end of tlou part I warnings/tags: [18+ only, minors dni] language, plenty of angst, violence, nightmares, Lincoln [lmao], abduction, alcohol consumption. word count: 6.1k part four | series masterlist | main masterlist

Within a fortnight, two more women were missing. The people in Jackson were on high alert. Wary-eyed warnings were whispered around the settlement. People went to work and they went home, day after day. By the time the sun had gone down, doors were locked, and windows latched. Movement on the streets at night was minimal, and wherever people went, they went in groups. Women walked through the town with linked arms and set jaws, eyes darting around rapidly.

As soon as things escalated, the settlement leaders established search patrol groups. All patrolmen would participate in one of two daily searches. Morning and night, a group would go out the gates, hoping to discover a trace of the women. A sign of anything. But Winter persevered, and the cruel snow proved difficult to heed any clues as to where they could have gone – if they’d even left the settlement. It seemed impossible, that anyone would have been able to creep out that tall gate.

A stream of patrolmen wandered in and out of the stables, where you would help to organise horses for the search. You interacted with more people on daily basis than you ever had in Jackson. Often, groups of ten or more would disappear out the gates at a time, and you’d be left with empty stables, mucking stalls and waiting for your horses to return.

The search roster was posted outside the community dining hall every Sunday night, and every time you wandered past it, your eyes would scan the list for his name. Joel and Tommy, Joel and Tommy, Joel and Tommy, Joel and Tommy, every fucking day. And it wasn’t just them. From almost every house, one person had been called upon to participate. If they were competent, able, and willing, they were recruited.

You didn’t envy Tommy Miller one bit on the day he suggested you join the effort.

It was a few days after Rebecca Lewis went missing, and you were hard at work in the stables, prepping horses for the evening patrol, when you overheard them.

Your ears perked up in recognition of Joel’s muffled voice, hands stilling on Dot’s saddle. The hearing on your left side was still repairing itself, and a faint buzzing enveloped you in moments of quiet. But you’d recognise his voice anywhere, and you strained to make out the words. “Tommy,” he’d said in a low, warning tone. “You better back off. Now.”

“Joel,” the younger man sighed in frustration. The type of sigh someone did after already pleading their case for the entirety of, what you assumed to be, a lengthy conversation. “It makes sense. Just ‘cause you don’t like it, don’t make it untrue.”

“She almost fuckin’ died,” he snapped in response, voice clearer now; closer. “Last time we took her out there, she almost got her head beaten off. Or don’t you fuckin’ remember? Too preoccupied by the idea of having a new soldier in your makeshift army?”

You ducked down, pulse quickening as you realised the brothers were talking about you. Their footsteps were audible, shuffling around in the gravel as they hung up equipment and ushered the horses into their stalls.

“Watch it,” Tommy ground out. “I was there, don’t you forget. And she held her own, god damnit. She knows how to read the land; how to hunt, how to track. You’re just too fuckin’ scared to risk her.”

“YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I AM,” Joel boomed suddenly, and the hairs on your arms raised at the change in volume. “I’m fuckin’ terrified. She still can’t fuckin’ hear right, and you want her out there again? For what? So that she can die too? Fat chance, because I’d sooner go out on a patrol every day for the rest of my damn life, then let you send her outside those gates again.”

Silence descended upon the stables, the only audible sound that of his harsh breathing.

After a moment, Tommy said something, but it was too quiet to hear. You strained your right ear, leaning precariously against the wall in an attempt to stay hidden.

“Of course I do,” Joel replied, his voice softening, and you hungered desperately to piece together what you’d missed.

“I’m not tryin’ to hurt you, Joel,” Tommy said calmly. “But I’m goin’ to ask her.”

“And she’ll say yes,” Joel laughed mirthlessly. “She will, Tommy. So go, fucking ask her, but I swear to god she’s not goin’ out of those gates without me by her side.”

They shared a few more soft words, and you grit your teeth in frustration, wishing they would speak up for your benefit. But they’d finished packing up, and you waited with a frown as they departed the stables, leaving you alone in Dot’s stall.

It hadn’t been a hard decision to make. When Tommy approached you the next day, you’d said no, clean and simple. Not purely for Joel’s benefit, either. It warmed your heart to know that he listened to you; he knew it wasn’t his place to make the decision for you. But the truth of the matter was that he was right. You were terrified to go outside the gates, and so you’d never turned down an offer so quickly.

So you and Joel operated on separate schedules, but it set you both at ease to know that you would be staying in Jackson. For those few weeks, you saw him sparingly. Between time spent at the stables, and the daily searches, the pair of you passed like ships in the night.

When you did find yourselves alone, Joel would pull you in close and his hands would roam freely across your body, eager to feel you against him.

“I missed you,” he’d whisper forlornly, pressing desperate kisses into your skin.

“It’s only been a couple of days,” you’d smile, and soon enough all words would escape you as his hands slipped beneath your clothes.

“You’re supposed to say you missed me too,” he’d grunt, and you’d laugh, watching him kiss down your stomach, trailing his fingers along the hem of your pants, before you would relent and breathlessly admit you felt the same way.

One night you’d waited at his place for him while he was on the evening patrol, and he’d returned a nervous wreck. He’d paced the hardwood floors of his bedroom, ringing his hands together in front of him, muttering about how they still hadn’t found anything.

“There’s no fuckin’ sign of them,” he’d told her. “And even if there was, how would we find it through all that fuckin’ snow. We’re searching day in and day out, and it’s fuckin’ hopeless.”

“Joel,” you tried to soothe him, although your own chest ached with anxiety. “I’m sure something will come up.” It was easier for you to lie in the moment, than pile your cynicisms atop his.

“This place is supposed to be fuckin’ safe. And now suddenly women are disappearing out of thin fuckin’ air?” His boots thudded heavily on the ground, leaving scuff marks and dirt on the wood. Scratching his beard in frustration, he turned to look at you with sorrowful eyes. “I told you it was safe here, that you were safe here, and now,” he paused, gritting his teeth. “Now I don’t even know if that’s true.”

“We don’t even know what happened to them,” you offered. “Maybe they decided to leave.”

But he wouldn’t hear reason, and fell heavily onto the edge of the bed. Joel looked up at you and shook his head slowly. “I need you to be careful. You and Ellie, I can’t… if something happened to one of you,” he cut himself off, hands shaking in his lap. His fingers traced his palms, squeezing every now and then, keeping himself focused, present.

“Hey,” you whispered, stepping forward and placing a hand over his. His movements stilled instantly, and his wide brown eyes gazed into yours. It felt like everything in the world stopped when those eyes were on you. “I’m always careful. No one’s gonna get the drop on me, I’m a big girl.”

“Darlin’,” he breathed. “I know you’re strong, stronger than half the people in this town. And I know you’re safe with Cal. But if he’s not around, you gotta stay here, with Ellie. Don’t be alone. I need to know you’re somewhere safe when I’m out there. And I-“

“Okay, Joel,” you acquiesced, nodding. You cupped his check in your palm, thumb stroking through his coarse facial hair. “I hear you, I will.”

After what seemed like weeks of self-imposed curfews and endless patrols with no new information turning up, things began to naturally return to normalcy in Jackson. Although the searches persisted, with no new disappearances the sense of fear had begun to settle.

So much so, that when a few of the women at the stables invited you for a drink after work one afternoon, you said yes.

The Tipsy Bison was humid and the walls reeked of history. Picture frames littered the walls, showing faces of people and families who’d lived in Jackson over the years. A framed image of Seth, the bartender, with two of his sons was hung by the bar, displaying the three men with broad grins on their faces. A fire roared in the corner, and small tables were scattered throughout the hall, chairs sprawled around them housing groups of friends chatting and drinking. It was a picture of regularity, and if you squinted, it almost looked as easy as it had beforehand; before the disappearances. But looking closer, a tension lived in people’s eyes; a distinct uncertainty that reared its ugly head when someone unfamiliar approached their table.

You couldn’t help but feel out of place with the two women. Cath and Louise were kind, and welcoming. They openly shared stories about their lives, and their families. Smiles and laughter seemed to come easy to the pair. With soft, feminine features and long hair, you were sure you stood out like a sore thumb between the pair. All sharp angles, rough edges, and scars, you tried to shake away feelings of inferiority. Alcohol helped. It brought a warm buzz to your body, and lowered your hackles somewhat. When they asked questions about you, you found yourself sharing with more and more ease. You divulged tales about the small settlement in Washington where you and Cal lived as teenagers; about his older brothers who had felt like your own.

You steered clear of sharing that the settlement ended up being raided. That the people of Spokane were slaughtered, their houses looted and burnt to the ground, and that the pair of you barely escaped with your lives, dragged out of the gates and into the wilderness by Cal’s brother Paul. For a year it had been the three of you, working as a tight knit unit to survive. You and Cal were still young, and naïve to the harsh realities of life outside settlement gates. When Paul was bitten, that all changed. You were forced to harden, to face the reality you were forced into, and survive. The decade after you lost Paul had stretched on aimlessly; two nomads wandering the states, with no goal in sight except for survival – until you stumbled across Jackson.

After an hour, a tipsy buzz had taken over your senses, and you found yourself slouched in your chair, laughing naturally with the women as they joked and gossiped about their partners, and other people in town. And only when Joel Miller walked into the room, did your attention stray.

A delightfully tipsy buzz held you captive by the time you noticed Joel enter the room. The conversation turned to white noise in your ears as you watched him approach the bar. Those old jeans fit him so well, and he wore that brown jacket that showed off how broad his shoulders were. Your mouth was dry suddenly, and you excused yourself from the table, before heading towards him.

You sauntered up on his left and rested your elbows on the bar. “Hey cowboy.”

Joel’s head ticked to the side and a smile formed on his lips. “Howdy.”

He reached out to run his index finger along your forearm, so light you almost didn’t feel it. The small show of affection made you smile, and you shivered.

“How’re Cath and Louise?” he nodded over your shoulder towards the table you’d been sat at.

“They’re good,” you hummed, licking your bottom lip. “Chatty.”

“Chatty is good,” he agreed unconvincingly, and you exhaled a quiet laugh. As his eyes scanned over your face, taking in your demeanour and the way you leaned heavily against the bar top, his grin widened a touch. “You’re drunk.”

You scoffed, eyes widening in defence. “Says who?”

“Says me, drunky,” he bumped his hip against yours softly, and the giggle that fell out of your mouth would’ve embarrassed you in any other moment.

As the barman approached, Joel’s hand fell back and you cleared your throat, attempting to act natural.

“Joel,” Seth nodded. “What’ll it be?”

“Glass of red.”

As Seth served you your wine, you gave Joel a teasing smile. “Are we sharing?”

He chuckled, “All yours, darlin’. I’m just here to pick up Tommy before we head out.” A pout formed on your lips without your permission.

“Tonight will be fine,” he smirked at you. “Good crew, too. Bet there’ll be more shit talkin’ than actual patrollin’.”

“Wow, very professional,” you nodded into your glass. When Seth had disappeared down the other end of the bar, you slid your hand over Joel’s and ran your fingers over his wrist, trailing towards his forearm. The alcohol had brought a warmth to your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a long time, and all you longed for was to feel his skin underneath yours. To lead him out of the bar and get him into bed.

“Handsy,” he murmured lowly, stepping closer to you, so the warmth of his side pressed into yours.

“Joel Miller,” you drawled, leaning in to place your lips against his ear. “I want you to blow off patrol and come home with me.”

A strangled noise left his mouth, and one of his hands gripped your waist suddenly, thumb pushing into the flesh above your hipbone. Your hand continued its movements, trailing over his watch in the direction of his bicep.

But before your hand could get far, a jarring pain appeared in your finger. Hissing, you pulled back instinctively, holding your hand up to get a better look.

“What’s wrong?” he soothed quietly, eyebrows drawn tight in concern. His hand hovered over your wrist anxiously, but he didn’t actually touch you, wary of causing more pain.

“I cut my finger,” you frowned, glancing down at his wrist. The wrinkle between your brows only deepened as you took in the sight of his watch, the one he wore every day, and found that the glass was splintered and cracked. A small shard had gotten caught in your fingertip, and you plucked it out gently. “Your watch is broken.”

Joel’s face went blank, and you both stared at it for a moment.

“What happened?” you were alert suddenly, the fog in your head clearing as you wondered if something had happened on his patrol the day before.

“Nothin’ happened,” he murmured, shaking his head ever so slightly. “Been broken for a while now.”

“For how long? I never even noticed,” you muttered. “How did I never notice that?”

“It’s alright,” he shrugged, not quite meeting your eye.

“You wear a broken watch?” you asked carefully, after a moment’s hesitation.

“Sentimental value,” is all he said, taking the glass from your hand and stealing a small sip.

Your lips parted to push the matter further, but Tommy’s sudden appearance interrupted the conversation.

He patted Joel firmly on the back and offered you a tight smile. “Alright, old man, let’s get a move on.”

Joel’s eyes flashed apologetically as he handed the wine glass back to you. Leaning into the side of your head, his lips brushed the sensitive skin of your earlobe as he whispered, “Wait for me tonight, okay? I wanna come home and find you in my bed. Promise not to be too late.”

Heat flashed through your stomach, and you wet your lips eagerly, wishing you had the guts to kiss him there, in front of all those people. But he pushed away from the bar and gave you a meaningful stare, saying, “Walk home with Cath and Louise.” So you just replied with a quick nod before watching the brothers walk out the door.

Turning back, you let your eyes wander across the bar, attempting to read the labels on the bottles displayed. Before the outbreak you’d been too young to drink, only ever having tried wine once or twice. The fact that they’d managed to create their own liquor in the settlement never ceased to amaze you, and you were pleased to indulge every once in a while.

As much as you tried not to dwell, you were picturing Joel’s watch in your head. Surely it hadn’t been broken this entire time? Wracking your brain, you tried to picture it without the large cracks running across the clockface, but you just couldn’t.

A voice came from behind you. “Your man off on patrol again tonight?”

You turned, eyebrows raised, to find Lincoln. “What was that?”

“Joel,” he nodded his head toward the door. “He’s being going on all those patrols, the searches, right?”

When you didn’t say anything, he chuckled awkwardly and gave a faux shiver, his shoulders raising to his ears. “I could never,” he smiled. “Never was the big, brawny type like those Miller boys. Too scared.”

You gave a slow nod, sizing him up where he stood, small frame shrouded in a large winter jacket. “What can I do for you Lincoln?”

He sipped amber liquid out of a crystal glass and gave a meek shrug. “Thought you might be lonely up here. I so often see you wandering around by yourself.”

Your eyebrow arched once again, the pleasant tipsiness wearing off in his absence. “I’m fine, thanks though, Lincoln.”

“Linc,” he corrected. “Please.”

“I’m fine, Linc.” You couldn’t help the scowl that had fallen upon your face, the good mood Joel brought to your evening long forgotten since he had left.

“Of course,” he backed off, hands raised in the air. “My apologies, I shouldn’t assume things of a woman I don’t know.”

“Right,” you frowned, pushing away from the bar top. “I think I’m gonna go.”

Downing the last of your wine, you left the hall without saying goodbye to Cath and Louise.

From where you stood on the street, you could see the stables down the road, lanterns lighting up the barn for the patrolmen. You thought about going to find Joel; he’d probably still be saddling up, and you could say goodbye to him properly before they headed out. But you thought better of it, and decided going to sleep in his bed was good enough.

Ellie was still awake when you got there, lounging on the couch in a grey hoodie and loose shorts. You noticed a blanket and pillow folded up on the end of it, and wondered briefly what they were for.

“What do you think of tattoos?” was the first thing out of her mouth.

“Tattoos?” you stopped short, your wine soaked brain whirring trying to catch up to her train of thought. “I think they’re fine, why are you asking me about tattoos?”

“I’m thinking of getting one,” she said, not quite meeting your eye-line.

“Ohhhh,” you dragged out the vowel, trying to think of what a responsible adult would say. “Cool, how would you do that?”

“Cat does them,” Ellie said, her eyes lighting up when she realised you weren’t shutting down the idea. Her lips quirked up into a cheeky grin. “Uses a single needle, makes these insane pictures. She’s got loads of ‘em.”

“Cat, huh?” you raised an eyebrow, picking up on what she was subconsciously putting down.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing,” you shrugged, eyes wide. “You guys are hanging out a lot these days.”

“We’re friends,” she said quickly – almost too quickly, tugging nervously on the drawstrings of her jumper. You backed off.

“Good,” you said, launching yourself onto the couch beside her, happy to get the weight off your feet. “Friends are good.”

“Like you would know,” she teased, digging an elbow into your side. You cringed, glaring at her.

“Fuck you, kid, I have plenty of friends.”

She raised her eyebrows, as if to say, oh yeah?

“You and I are friends,” you huffed quietly. Plucking curiously at the blanket beside you, you changing the subject, asking, “What’s this for?”

“I’ve been sleeping in here,” Ellie told you. “Joel’s been nervous about me being alone in the bungalow at night. If I sleep here he can see me when he gets home, and before he leaves in the morning.”

“That’s good of you,” you murmured earnestly. “Giving him some peace of mind.”

“Can’t have the old man dying of a fucking heart attack,” she joked. “With the way he worries, I wouldn’t be surprised if he dropped any day now.”

As you laid in Joel’s bed alone, the only sound in the house was of rain quietly pattering against the roof. Draped in one of his softest shirts, you curled the blankets around your body, enveloping yourself in his scent, and fell asleep wishing he was beside you.

---

“Your friend can’t help you,” he sneered. “It’s just you and me right now. You’re all mine.”

You squirmed beneath him, hips rearing upward to buck him off. But his knees were planted in the dirt beside you, an arm pinning your hands above your head, hand clamped over your mouth. Harsh, panicked exhales left your nose, and your eyes darted around, trying to see Cal. But it was dark, and his face was all you could make out.

Tears leaked out of your eyes, and he cooed down at you. “Don’t be afraid, this will only take a second.” You could hear someone saying your name, but he consumed your senses, muffling the sound. “Don’t listen to them, stay here with me. I’m gonna keep you here, forever.”

Your eyes snapped open as hands gripped the collar of your shirt, yanking you upward. Instinctively you grabbed the hands and hauled him off you, twisting so he was underneath you, pinned to the bed.

“I’ll fucking kill you,” the words slurred out of your mouth, tongue still heavy with sleep. You were seeing red, and you reached down to wrap your hands around his throat, but an urgent voice made you freeze.

“Fuck, fuck, it’s me, it’s me!” Ellie was shouting, face red as she stared up at you in panic.

“Ellie,” your voice cracked. Clarity came rushing back to you, and you understood what had happened. Your hands hovered a centimetre above her neck, and her hands still gripped your shirt. Pushing yourself off her, you scrambled to the foot of the bed. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Ellie. I didn’t know it was you, I swear, I-”

“It’s okay,” she panted, sitting up. She said your name so softly, so quietly, like you were a wounded animal she’d found in the forest, and if she made any sudden movements you’d get spooked and make a run for it. “I thought you were suffocating in your sleep or something, so I came in to check on you, I’m sorry I woke you up.”

Shaking your head slowly, you wiped your face hastily. “You don’t have to apologise to me,” you laughed bitterly. “I almost fucking strangled you.”

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “Nightmares again?”

“What do you mean again?” you asked in confusion, still trying to level out your breathing.

“Don’t be mad,” she played with the fraying edge of Joel’s bedsheet. “Joel told me once that you get them pretty bad.” A fresh layer of tears dotted your waterline, and Ellie’s frown deepened. “Maybe he shouldn’t have told me, he was just worried about you, that’s all.”

“I’m not mad, Ellie,” you assured. Hesitantly, you shuffled toward the headboard to rest beside her, and your hand hovered over hers on the sheet. You gave her a chance to pull away in case she was apprehensive you after what you’d almost done. But Ellie didn’t move away. Instead, she reached up and grabbed your hand, interlocking her bony fingers with yours. “I almost…” your voice cracked when you spoke, throat thick with emotion.

“Hey,” Ellie interrupted your train of thought, feigning nonchalance. “Not a scratch on me. I know you would never hurt me.” But her smile didn’t meet her eyes, and you could see a nervousness there; a hint of caution. Because you’d just shown that you even if you didn’t mean to, you could hurt her. Neither of you spoke for a while. You dragged your thumb in small soothing circles over the top of her hand.

“You don’t have to tell me about it,” she said. The whites of her eyes shone in the dark room as she looked up at you. “But I understand how you feel, I swear. I get them too.”

“You’ve been through a lot,” you said. It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Ellie nodded slowly, and squeezed your hand a fraction tighter. “I can see it in your eyes sometimes.”

“See what?”

“The grief,” you murmured, wiping your cheek. “The fear, the anger. I recognise it because, most days, I feel all those emotions too.”

“I’m tough,” Ellie tried to smile, but it cracked when you frowned at her. “That shit’s in the past.”

“You shouldn’t have to be tough,” your lip twisted angrily. “You shouldn’t know what real pain feels like; not at your age. It’s not fair.”

“Nothing’s fucking fair,” she scoffed, looking away. “It’s just how it is, and we deal. Right?”

“It gets better,” you told her unconvincingly, and attempted a tight-lipped smile. You almost laughed at the irony of your statement as you sat with tear-stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

She rolled her eyes and gave a sad chuckle. “Oh yeah? Could’ve fooled me.”

When you didn’t speak again, Ellie shifted forward to rest her head on your shoulder, and slowly draped an arm over your middle.

“You should sleep,” she said. “I’ll wake you up if you start having another nightmare.”

You sniffled quietly, eyes welling up at the promise laden in her words. “Thanks, kid.”

And sleep you did. The darkness took you back into its arms with soft, loving caresses, and it was dreamless. You slept deeply for what felt like hours, until a soft sound in the bedroom made your eyes crack open.

You rose with a start, acutely aware of a tall figure in the doorway.

“Ellie?” you mumbled warily.

“Go back to sleep,” you heard her voice. Blearily, you saw her peak out from behind the figure and give you a sleepy smile before disappearing into the hall.

“It’s okay,” Joel’s voice whispered. The door clicked shut, and he was peeling his clothes off. He slid into the bed beside you in just his underwear, arms wrapping around your body and holding you to his warm chest.

“Joel,” you sighed in relief, sinking into his embrace. “You’re back.”

“I’m back, baby,” his fingers trailed through your hair, tucking a loose strand behind your ear. “I’m back to keep the nightmares away. You can sleep, darlin’. I’ve got you.”

As Joel’s lips ghosted soft kisses across your shoulder, you fell into sleep’s embrace once more.

You woke up alone in Joel’s bed, your hand grazing over the sheet where he’d been laying. It was still warm, signifying he’d only been gone for a short time. Faintly, you could hear him and Ellie chatting downstairs, the smell of eggs floating up the stairs. When you wandered down, still rubbing sleep out of your eyes, you found him sitting alone, nursing a cup of coffee. He gazed absently at the table, tracing a pattern into the wood, and didn’t notice you come in.

For a moment, you stood in the doorway and just stared at him. His greying curls were messy atop his head, strands still pressed down to his scalp from being shoved into his pillow for hours. You wanted to run your hands through them, trace the strands that grew down his neck. It had grown so much in the past month, and you realised you loved how unruly it got.

“Hey,” you said softly, lowering into the chair opposite him. “I thought you’d be off on patrol this morning,”

“No patrol today,” he said lowly, eyes raising from the table to take you in. Something was off, you realised. You couldn’t pinpoint the expression on his face, but he seemed quiet. Sad, maybe.

“No patrol?”

“They’re relaxing the search,” he explained.

“What?” you said sharply. “They haven’t found anything though.”

“And they aren’t going to,” Joel sighed. “It’s been a month. No one else has gone missing, the snow keeps fallin’, and the people are exhausted. It doesn’t make sense to keep going right now. We’d only be wasting resources.”

“Shit,” you ran a hand through your hair, eyes wide.

When he didn’t speak for a few moments, you felt your stomach twist with a type of nervous anticipation. His finger traced the same crack in the wooden table over and over again.

“Is everything,” you hesitated, cringing as his hand stopped its movement abruptly at the sound of your voice. “Is everything okay?”

Joel’s hand flattened on the table, eyes meeting yours again. Seeing his grim expression, the way his mouth was downturned, had memories of the night before slamming into you in a wave. You balked, mouth turning chalky as you summoned the courage to speak again.

“Ellie told you what happened,” is all you could muster.

Joel gripped his mug tightly, and that was all the response you needed to know you were correct. Your tongue darted out to anxiously wet your lips, but your mouth was like sandpaper. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it just as quick, shaking his head slowly.

“Please say something,” you whispered. You expected anger, but your heart began to pound as you realised that wasn’t what you would get. He looked resigned - he looked devastated.

He sighed your name quietly, and you felt a crack form in your chest at his despondent tone.

“She’s my responsibility,” he finally said. “She needs to be safe.”

“She is safe,” you whispered, tears wetting your water line.

“She said you had your hands around her neck,” his voice broke on the last word, and he coughed quickly in an attempt to hide it. “Said it was another nightmare.”

It felt like the walls were closing in on you. Everything was too close, too tight. The air felt so thick suddenly, and you were sure you were suffocating. Sweat beaded on your palms and you rubbed them absently into your pants, your chest aching. No, no, no, no, no.

“Joel,” you pleaded. “It was a mistake. I didn’t even know where I was. I thought she was… Joel, I would never hurt Ellie.”

“I know,” he nodded.

“Is she scared of me?” you murmured, holding your breath as you waited for his response.

“That kid thinks the world of you,” he chuckled wetly, and your heart fell as you noticed tears in his eyes. “She’s not scared, she’s worried about you. I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll get it under control,” you said hastily, desperate to show that you understood, that you knew you’d made a mistake. “I know it can’t go on like this, I would… god if I ever hurt Ellie, or, fuck, or you? I’d never forgive myself, Joel, I promise, nothing like that will ever happen again. I’m so sorry.”

As the last words fumbled from your lips, you realised you were crying. Your cheeks were hot and wet, your chin dripping salty tears onto your shirt. Joel’s hands were on your face, cupping your cheeks and wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “I’ll do whatever I can to keep you both safe, I’ll tie myself to the damn bed at night, I-I’ll try meditation to stop the nightmares, anything.”

“Shh,” he whispered brokenly. “Stop.” Haggard gasps were ripping out of you, and you felt lightheaded.

“Please don’t cry baby, I can’t stand to see you cryin’.”

“Please don’t think I’m a monster,” a sob tore out of your chest. Please don’t hate me. Joel tugged you forward and wrapped his arms around your back, tucking your face into his neck. Please don’t leave.

He shook his head, mumbling your name over and over into your hair as he held you against him. “You’re good,” he assured, his lips peppering delicate kisses against your hairline. “You’re so good it hurts. We can figure this out, okay? But for now, I think it’s a good idea if you stay at your place when I’m not here.”

“Joel, please,” you tried, but he interrupted with a shake of his head.

“Just until we can find a way to get it under control,” he assured. “It’s not forever.”

“It won’t happen again,” is all you said, with a tone of finality.

“It won’t happen again,” he echoed.

Your day at the stables went by in a daze. Plagued with images of your dream, of seeing your hands hovering over Ellie’s throat. Her pale blue eyes, shining with terror as they looked up at you, desperately yelling your name. The guilt was consuming, and ugly thoughts scratched at the back of your head, burrowing its way into your brain, screaming, you’re a danger to the people you love. You almost killed her. Joel doesn’t want you anymore.

For hours, you shoved yourself into your work, shovelling and saddling and feeding until your freezing hands were aching, and finally you trudged down the street towards your home.

It was dark out already. Only 6 o’clock in the evening, the sun had long since set, and you made your way home by muscle memory alone.

And when you made it to the porch, you found that the lights were on in the house.

Cal, you thought desperately. Thank god.

“Honey I’m home,” you called softly, voice raspy from not speaking all day. It was quiet, but you could hear him tinkering around in the kitchen. You hung your coat up by the door and brushed the snow off your hair, before wandered towards the sound.

“Shame I can’t smell any food,” you muttered teasingly, rubbing your hands together in an attempt to warm them. You entered the room with a small smirk on your face, jeering, “What good is having a house husband if dinner isn’t on the table when I get home?”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

You heart thudded painfully into your stomach. It was true what they say; that in moments of true terror, time stands still. The room was silent as you paused in the doorway. You could've heard a pin drop.

Standing in your kitchen, leaning comfortably against the sink, was not Cal.

“Lincoln,” you breathed. “What are you doing here? Where’s Cal?”

“Who’s Cal?” he tilted his head to the side, taunting you. His thin lips twisted into a sort of mean smile.

Your heartbeat pounded in your ears, like the sound of rushing water. You palms clammed up and your brain told you to run, to get the fuck out of the house, but it was like you had tunnel vison; you couldn’t take your eyes off him, and that leering grin.

“You should get out,” you steeled herself, broadening your shoulders. You were taller than him, and stronger, you’d wager. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing walking into my house like this, but Cal will be home soon, so you should go.”

“Oh, he’ll be home soon?” Lincoln stepped toward you and you stepped back instinctively, shoulder knocking sharply against the doorframe. He smirked. “I don’t think he will be, actually.”

Your face was hot, and you could feel fury begin to bubble in your chest. “Did you hurt him?”

“There, there,” he sneered, taking another step forward. “Don’t go getting hysterical on me now, I thought you were-“

You moved in a split second, not letting him finish his sentence before you’d spun on your heel to dash toward the front door. But a hand was gripping your bicep, and a heavy blow had landed on the back of your head.

A loud ringing filled your ears as you hit the floor, black spots forming in your vision as you stared up at him. He had the handle of a frying pan gripped tightly in his palm.

Lincoln was speaking, but you couldn’t make out the words. Everything was spinning, and the last thing you saw was him crouching above you, before there was only darkness.

part six

taglist <3

@n7cje @sarahhxx03 @missgurrl @nrmnie @casa-boiardi @ghostofjoharvelle

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal #joel miller pedro pascal #joel miller fic #joel miller angst #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you

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cosmal · 2 years

Text

𝐁𝐢𝐠 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐝𝐬 — 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

summary — you go to james' footy match, despite hating crowds and it being cold.

warnings/tags — fem!reader, she/her pronouns, professionalrugbyplayer!james, shy!reader, something short!

note — okay this is solely based on how australian rugby works! I'm assuming it's not that different to uk rugby tbh. also very much professional player james! not small town team.

word count — 1.2k

You’re not sure how long it’s been since you went to one of James’s matches. Maybe a few weeks. You remember how cold the last one was - the mud, your wind-whipped cheeks, the massive crowd.

You remember getting stuck in a group of rowdy, 20-something-year-old men. They seemed to be big fans of your boyfriend, cheering and jumping for each try he scored and conversion he kicked. They spilt beer on you and trod all over your feet. You also remember what James had said, Sweetheart, next time tell me you’re coming and I’ll organise you to sit up in a box. You’re freezing.

The thing you remember most was James’s face when he saw you in the sheds. He looked so goddamn happy it wasn’t even funny. You never really come to his games, you hate the crowds so much, and the fact that rugby season is in winter. You’d much rather to watch it live on your TV, in the comfort of your own home.

James knows this, he’s completely fine with it. Well, that’s what he says. It’s okay, Y/N. This match is supposed to be really big and I’d much rather you stay home than get caught up in all the commotion. That was what he had said to you once. He knows you get nervous, no matter whether you’re in the middle of the grandstands or tucked away upstairs with his coach, watching in a spectator’s box. It’s too much for you.

Still, you want to support him. This is his job, his life. And the spectacle of a large crowd is something you can put aside for a moment if it means you get to see your boyfriend tackle some men to the ground, get all muddy and sweaty, and then his eyes light up when he sees you afterwards. It’s completely worth it.

It wasn’t cold when you left, you swear of it. Now, you’re sat up in the middle of the front grandstand, in a much quieter section. But still, the wind has picked up and the sun doesn’t look as if it’ll come out again. The outfit you decided to wear isn’t a bad one, but you still wished you’d worn a warmer coat. Maybe a scarf.

You have the perfect view of James as he runs the field. Passing off the ball to assist with try’s, scoring his own, kicking and tackling as hard as he can. You can tell he’s a star player with how hard he pushes himself, instructing which plays to run and calling out all the important things you should on the field. He’s a born leader.

He’s sweaty and stuck with mud and grass. Muscles straining through the jersey that’s the tiniest bit too small. He’s a total turn-on on the field and you’re excited to find him afterwards. Especially because you’re entirely frozen, and it's loud and overwhelming. Still, you watch him win the match with the biggest grin.

You climb the endless stairs up to the top of the stadium, past security guards that know you from the few times you’ve been back here, through corridors and hallways until you make it to the home-team sheds.

You can hear their cheering and rowdiness before you open the door and momentarily almost decide on waiting until later. That is until the doors are opening before you can even push your palm flat against the metal frame.

It’s much warmer inside - much stuffier. You push past other family members, girlfriends and friends, and spot him before he does you. The back of his head, the mess of unruly curls that you probably should’ve offered to braid back this morning before he left.

“Potter, your girl's here!’’ You hear one of his teammates call before he turns around, confused.

He’s squinting at first, obviously without the contacts he wears for his games. Then lighting up like an excited puppy the moment he clocks you amidst the chaos that is his buzzing, win-high, team.

He closes the gap between you and picks you up in a messy, sweaty hug. You’re all giddy when you push your face into his sticky neck. Breathing in his scent. Sweat, dwindling, boyish deodorant and grass. Something that follows him home even after a post-game shower.

“Which girl were you expecting, Potter?” you tease, speaking into his skin. He chuckles when he settles you back down, the feel of it reverberating through your chest.

“One of the many I have on call,” he entertains, arms still wrapped around your lower back. This close you can feel his pecs pressed into you after spending the entire match discretely drooling over them. He’s firm and broad. One of the many benefits of having a rugby player boyfriend.

“You played really well,” you tell him, tucking ink black locks behind his ears. He turns into your hand.

“Thanks, lovely. You’re my good luck charm.”

He’s too kind.

“Where are your glasses?” you ask, bunching the hem of his jersey in your hands, exposing the slip of flesh that covers his hip bones, glistening with perspiration.

“In my bag,” he answers, “What are you doing here?”

You press a kiss to the skin of the bottom of his jaw, “To see my boyfriend tackle some strong men.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nod gleefully.

“Does that require dressing like it’s not 7 degrees outside?” he scolds, albeit with zero heat. Less heat than his body is creating this close against yours. Where his big hands traverse a path up the length of your back.

“It’s not that cold,” you defend. Still, you melt under his touch. “I’m wearing more clothes than you!” You say it like it makes any sense.

“You didn’t just run a hundred laps of a football field.” He frowns.

“M’sorry,” you pout. James melts. Completely crumbles under your soft gaze.

“Don’t be.” He shakes his head, squeezing you close before letting you go again, “Just let me know next time, I’ll put you somewhere warm.”

“I know, you tell me every time.”

“Then listen to me,” James laughs as he moves to the other side of the shed. You follow him like a lost puppy, weaving through players.

“I wanted to surprise you.” You tell him like arguing matters. He’ll be hating himself the entire night for not knowing you were out in the cold. It obviously wasn’t your plan but it’ll still happen.

“Well consider me surprised, babe. Your arms are like popsicles.” James rummages through his bag until he finds his jumper. Turning back around to pull it over your head. You fit your arms through it and brush the ruffled hairs from your face. Brandished in his team colours, you beam in his clothes.

“Cute,” James murmurs.

Your face warms, “Stop.” You cover your cheeks with your sleeved hands.

“You’re never taking that off.”

“James.”

“I’m serious, you’re fucking adorable,.” he groans like it’s actually painful. You can tell he’s trying to make you comfortable in an environment you have trouble with. You despise his flirty methods. Or love them, you’re not sure.

“Okay, c’mon. Go get you’re stuff, we’re going home.”

“I need to shower.”

“We have a shower at home, if I remember correctly,” you quirk with a tilt of your lips. James’s eyes glint knowingly.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit, okay. Let me grab my shit, I’ll be five minutes.”

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x female reader #james potter imagine #james potter fanfic #james potter fanfiction #james potter x yn #james potter x you #marauder x reader #marauders x reader #marauders fanfic #jarry potter fanfic

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ninthskzmember · 3 months

Text

Used to this ღ

Kim Seungmin x reader.

bestfriend!seungmin, idol!seungmin, idol!reader word count: 1,5k warnings: fluff. petnames. i didn't proofread it. tags: fluff, friends to lovers.

Requests are open :)

April 9th, 2023.

A week has passed since the Maniac tour ended, meaning that today you will be able to see your dumb best friend at the company after a long time.

"Excited?" Kia asked with a smile on her face

"Why would I be, unnie?" You frowned at her question

"Kim Seungmin is coming back today. All of them are coming." She kept that smile on her face

"You're annoying. It's not like I haven't been talking with him all along" you rolled your eyes and she laughed at your reaction

"I just stated facts! I didn't know you would be upset about seeing your boy best friend after so long"

"I'm not upset" you held back a laugh and pushed your leader lightly

"Are you excited or not?" She asked again

"Are you excited about seeing Chris after so long too, unnie?" You fired back

"Hey, that's not funny" that smile disappeared from her face

"How to forget the night where Kia unnie was so drunk that she threw up on Chan Oppa's bed" Ski said, getting into the conversation

"Yeah, what were you doing in his bed again?" Lu teased

"Back to practice. Now." Kia turned on the leader mode and the seven of you got into position.

"Yeah but actually..." a curious Haneul spoke from her place "I never knew the reason behind you being there" her angelical aura couldn't make Kia mad.

"I was just wasted, and he's a gentleman so he offered his bed to me so I could sleep and sober up a bit" the leader explained while looking at you all through the big mirror in front of you.

"Yeah, I am" a voice came over from the opening door and the seven of you bowed at Bang Chan.

Kia turned absolutely red.

"No need to be ashamed Kia, we remember it with laughs" Jisung joked and bowed back.

Your eyes were trying to be x-ray, trying to find your best friend in between all the people that were entering the place.

"Sweetie" Seungmin made his apparence and left you speachless.

"Kim Seungmin" You rushed towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck, and he wrapping his around your waist "I missed you"

"I know, you were annoying me almost every day" he smiled, letting his brand new smile be seen. Wordless. "You're staring, weirdo" his sweet little laugh came out of his mouth

"I'm sorry" you blinked a few times, trying to organise your thoughts. "You didn't tell me you took your braces off"

"It was all over twitter, I thought you already knew" he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I haven't been using it for a while" —because you were all over my timeline and it made me miss you even more— you thought, but didn't say.

And again, when you looked around, realized that just like old times, you and Seungmin were lost in your own little world. The rest of the members from both groups were fooling around, screaming, running, singing, jumping, dancing.

Actually, you missed the eight of them.

What caught your eye was how sweety Lee Know was looking at Haneul when she was talking to him and Jeongin.

"Hey," you called Seungmin and made a movement with your head to make him see what your eyes were looking at.

"Yeah, but look over there" he pointed at Jisung and Manee being an absolute CHAOS.

"Looks like I was not the only one missing a Stray Kid." you smiled

"I missed you too" he rubbed your back from the side where he was standing. "And don't get used to it"

"Not at all" you made a disgusted face, just to see how his smile appeared again.

There was something about him now that was making you go insane. Like, after the time you guys had apart, he stopped being a rebellious teenager and became a man. You couldn't take his eyes off him.

"Okay, everyone, let's gather here." BangChan called all of you and you obeyed.

He and Kia started talking about the Collab stage that the groups had, talking about how they wanted it to go and asking for ideas too.

"I think, we could go in groups and showcase our positions. Like, dance line, rap line, voice line" Felix suggested

"Yah, you wanna kill this one" Seungmin pointed at you

"I might be in both my voice and dance line, but I'm not a rapper" you couldn't help but smile every time that man spoke to or about you.

"You are as much as a rapper as I am. And I'm a fucking great rapper" he let out a cocky smile

"Actually, Stay wants Seungmin on the rap line" Changbin joked

"She's a great rapper though" Ski smiled

"I hate to interrupt such a lovely discussion but we need to get back on subject" Kia stated, leaving the conversation out of mind.

April 23th, 2023.

"You did amazing, sweetie. You look gorgeous" Your friend smiled at you

"Thank you, Seungmin" you answered shyly and hid your face looking to the floor

"No, no. Don't hide" he took you by your chin and make you look at him "Those diamonds on top of your freckles look stunning"

"You're making me blush, asshole" You pushed him

"See? I can't be nice to you" he crossed his arms on top of his chest, making himself look taller than he was

"Just get married already" Minho said rolling his eyes while passing by with a bottle of water in his hands "Awesome job, Y/n. You were almost as good as me" he said with sarcasm and you laughed.

"He's unbearable" Seungmin denied with his head too

"Either are you" You teased him and you could see how a little smirk wanted to appear on his face, which he repressed.

"Little shit" he looked away, hiding his smile

"Hey, don't disrespect me. I'll make you call me noona"

"I'd call you noona anytime"

"You're being weird" You said, closing your eyes halfway.

"y/n-ssi, Seungmin-ssi sunbaenim" Yeonjun came by

"She's also your sunbaenim" Protective Seungmo was activated and he placed himself right by your side, looking at the other male

"Hey" you slightly blushed, trying to not make eye contact with the idol.

"I just wanted to congratulate you both"

"Thank you." Seungmin cutted the boy off.

Yeonjun bowed and left you alone again.

"You were kinda rude" You looked at him

"Oh, c'mon girl" He rolled his eyes "I just can't stand him"

"That's 'cause you're jealous" you smirked at the guy

"He took you away from him for a long amount of time. So, it's safe to say no, I do not like him."

"That face, Kim Seungmin" Hyunjin passed by and laughed at the expression in Seungmin's face "What's got you all mad?"

You just pointed at Yeonjun, a few meters away from the conversation.

"Trying to steal ya' girl again? Damn, gotta talk with Changbin hyung"

His girl? Again?

"He's friends with hyung." That's all he said. Hyunjin just laughed and left

"Sorry, what was that?" You asked

"That was nothing. Just Hyunjin annoying us" he answered fast

"You're blushed" You laughed "Seungmin... Do you like me?" You took his hand, making him look at them

"Of course I like you. You wouldn't be my friend if I didn't."

"Ok, fair" you sighted "Let me reform that... Do you have feelings for me?" he opened his mouth to talk and you cutted him off "And don't give me the same fucking answer 'cause I will hurt you, I swear to god Kim Seungmin" You added and he laughed

"So... Technically speaking... having like... romantic feelings?"

"Yes, he does. Kiss her, you fool!" Hyunjin came over again and pushed you both, making you crush into his chest.

You looked up at his eyes, as he looked down at yours.

"I kinda romatically like you, yes y/n" he took a few strands of your hair out of your face

"I kinda romantically like you too, Seungmin" You smiled back at him.

He slowly leaned down, making your lips meet for the first time in the five years that you've known eachother and been friends.

You placed your arms around his broad shoulders and his hands took place in your waist.

"FINALLY" you heard Ski scream from the top of her lungs.

"FATHER AND MOTHER GOD" Jeongin screamed at the same volume as Ski

"I took the most beautiful picture" said Hyunjin and he was... Sobbing?

"Yah, that's enough. You're disgusting" Minho came all the way here and separated you, making you both laugh

"You're jealous you can't kiss Haneul like this" You fired at him, and for the first time in ages, you left Lee Minho speachless.

"SHE'S RED!" Jenny jumped up and down while looking at your member be flustered.

"Y/n" Seungmin caught your attention again saying your name in the sweetest way ever "Do you wanna go out with me?" his sweet voice didn't change at all, making you melt inside

"Of couse I want" You got in your tip toes and kissed briefly his lips.

#Spotify #stray kids #stray kids x reader #skz #changbin #seungmin #han jisung #lee know #bang chan #lee felix #hyunjin #jeongin #skz jisung #kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kpop idol #idol

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