#she is both the product and the producer. shes manipulator and the victim. she tries to escape but walks back into the game bc it is all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

post-itpenny · 4 years

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❝ A tale befitting any opera. ❞

One Being Ruth.

Decided to do some DBD with our Survivor and Killer OCs. I apologize if this seemed like to ran too long. Irene likes to talk.

Ten trials.

That’s how many it took for Irene to come to her senses on just what had become of her.

She would later learn at the Killer’s Campfire that there were some that had taken much longer. Perhaps The Entity no longer saw the need to keep a ruse with her, or perhaps it never tried to begin with. Perhaps Irene had created the delusion that this was meerly a series of shows all on her own.

But she had to admit it was far easier to process the trials as merely a performance. None of the supporting cast really stayed dead and was not their director/ producer also their audience?

Before, the times between trials felt like a strange dreaming state. Sleepwalking through the theater as her mind tumbled through jumbled bits of memory and feeling. All of it was painful, she suspected that part was her new director’s doing. Her hurts and frustrations from a lifetime of being so close but never close enough, of never being good enough for too long.

And then there was her costume… it had to be Ruth didn’t it?

Irene found even after coming to her senses she did not care much for the Killer’s Campfire. Visiting when needed then going off to whatever performance she was slated for in one trial ground or another. There was no script, though like many an actor Irene appreciated the chance at improv. After she would spend her time in the theater. Acting out scenes from old scripts, reorganizing the prop room, or like today she was singing to the empty rafters. Anyone who heard her may or may not have been surprised to find the diva actually had a very lovely singing voice.

Irene was working her way through the aria of Puccini’s Madame Butterfly when the rushing sigh of her director’s presence filled the hall. It seemed, much to her delight, this trial would be coming to her.

There was a slight pull, the tiniest tug as someone else entered the theater. Ah, so her sound technician was here today? Well good, what's a performer without a decent set of stage hands? Though she supposed he was more of a fellow actor these days.

Irene smirked and skulked off to her dressing room where her rapier sat waiting and... perhaps something else a bit of a treat for today maybe? Around her the place shifted, generators, pallets, and hooks appearing.

A deadly game of cat and mouse. Such drama, such suspense. A tale befitting any opera…

Irene adored it.

Accept of course a few members of her supporting cast-

“Hey you hag!”

Irene growled as she turned to spy a grin and mass of curly hair.

Mary shot Irene the middle finger “come and get it bitch!”

Irene sighed, it was so hard to find good talent these days.

This one enjoyed a good chase and much to Irene’s dismay, lead her around the map. The sharp clicks of her boots interrupted as a pallet came crashing down on her head. Irene let out a shriek as stars flashed before her eyes.

The impertinent girl let out a trill of laughter as she zoomed off. Irene had already learned that the girl would only grow faster if she could not follow, and it drove her mad. The others called this kind of survivor and Obsession. Another of their director’s tricks, you needed to kill this one, the thrill of the chase too powerful. Irene hated it.

Which was why she left the little imp alone.

The adrenaline of a trial felt akin to the one she would feel in auditions in her younger years. A desperate but thrilling pursuit. Her first role in New York had been one of the sisters in The Pirates of Penzance, a comedic opera. A somewhat smaller role in the production but she still had to fight tooth and nail for it. She remembered how lovely the leading lady Maryanne had been, but it was Ruth that fascinated her.

Ruth was a multifaceted role, comedic in being an older lady who was hard of hearing yet roped into a band of pirates. However, act two showed how calculating and manipulative she was. Arguably one of the actual main antagonists of the opera. A very young Irene had been fascinated with the duality and of course, an older woman dressed as a pirate. It reminded her of all the times she and her siblings played pirates as children. The middle of eight siblings normally left Irene with little chance as captain and almost always being sent to walk the plank for insubordination or mutiny. The sea being a particularly deep puddle outside her family's home after it rained.

A young Irene had mused that Ruth would be an enjoyable role to play one day, teaming up with the Pirate King and dressed in such a fun costume. Then, it was just two seasons ago that she was casted as Ruth and Irene could not help but think about how this meant she had the appearance to match a foolish old woman.

She was wearing the Ruth costume now, of course The Entity picked it.

Irene rubbed the back of her head as her feet left the ground and she floated down the hall opposite of where the girl had ran, but it seemed the little imp wasn’t ready to let Irene go just yet.

“Where ya going huh?” Mary teased as she ran past Irene and ducked behind the rubble of a row of theater seats. “Is it time for your afternoon nap?”

“It seems to me you just can’t keep away darling. Not that I blame you.” Irene sneered, a wicked glint in her eye as the fingers of her left hand twitched.

Foolish.

The girl popped up to dash off when Irene lashed out. The strings tied to her fingers tightening as they wrapped around the joints of Mary’s arms and legs. The survivor gave a yelp as all feeling left her body save for the burning sensation where the strings connected.

Irene chucked, “I’m not one for heavy lifting. How about instead we take a walk?”

Survivors had dubbed her The Muse since she had once been an actress, they also all agreed her “special” ability was terrible.

Mary stuck her tongue out at Irene as her arms reached up to haul her own body onto the hook.

“My now don’t you look just picture perfect right where you are.” Irene sneered, “but this is what separates someone like you from me. You’re only fitted to be a piece of the background, a small part of a trial in which I have the starring role. Why else would there be four of you? Why else so many chances to keep the show running but for my benefit? Why else-“

“Lady! Do you ever shut up?” Mary groaned as she wiggled on the hook. “If you’re gonna just stand there and drone one like that I’m going to let the damn spider god-thing to come and get me before I die of boredom.”

Irene rolled her eyes and stalked off, trying her hardest to keep her composure. She could be patient just a little longer.

She became aware not long after that someone had rescued her but Irene could only laugh, she had decided to treat herself today after all. Something special she had brought to the trial.

In the basement she had at last found Thomas fishing a rather fancy looking med kit from a chest.

He wasn’t one for taunting, instead locking eyes with Irene for a moment and dodging the slash of her rapier. Up the stairs and backstage they went. Irene grinning like mad as she chased him room to room. Irene reached out with her puppet strings only to snag the ankle of someone else.

Thomas looked over his shoulder to see Mary tangled up in the attack. He spun on his toes, grabbing her arm and in the process felt the sting of something fusing into his elbow.

Irene seemed to almost glitch for a moment, as if overwhelmed by having two people on her strings at the same time. She doubled over, hands clamped over her head as she cried out in pain. Thomas wasting no time in pulling Mary free and shoving the med kit he had found into her arms. She gave him a quick salute of thanks as they ran in opposite directions.

When Irene recovered she was seething with fury, tearing across the stage and through the halls, downing anyone she could find.

Soon a young man wearing broken glasses found himself on his last hook. Irene noted the sounds of only three generators completed. Such strange things, loud and reminding her just slightly of the engine in her father’s Model T.

Irene found a redhead sprinting across the mezzanine when again the imp was back and jumping in the way to take the slash of Irene’s rapier.

“Didn’t your mom teach you not to run with sharp objects?” Mary taunted as she dogged another attack and looped Irene around a row of seats.

Mary leaped over the railing only to be caught again by the swipe of the thin sword. She gave a yelp before crashing down on the stage below. Irene wasting no time in following suit.

She stood over the girl with a mad grin, listening to the whispers of the entity who had been watching the performance so far. The Muse hummed in delight as Mary’s eyes wided for just a moment, they both knew what was coming.

But then she smirked, “eh… still worth it.”

The strings lashed out again. Suspending the survivor in the air. The Muse stood before her, so much fury built up over the trial, over a lot of things. She shrieked as she slashed at her victim over and over before driving the weapon through Mary’s chest. Her dead body collapsing to the floor in a heap as The Muse turned towards the empty audience seats and took a bow.

#irene oakland #the muse #mary #DBD #dead by deadlight #dbd oc killer #dbd oc survivor

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morning-star-57 · 4 years

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Miraculous Quirk AU

Idk if someone has already done this but here we go!

So, I recently got into Boku no Hero Academia and I got to thinking, what if the Miraculous universe was set in the same one as Bnha?

So, those of us who watch Bnha know the drill, 80% of the population has superpowers, called “quirks.” The other 20% are “quirkless.” So here’s how it would play out in my brain.

Super duper long, oops, so under the cut!

Miraculous:

works pretty much the same way as canon

only doesn’t give you a suit the holder picks that themselves

they work similar to One For All does in Bnha

the power of the previous owner fuels the power of the miraculous and the previous user can still use the power, but a weakened version of it

Ladybug miraculous gives the holder the power to create things and heal

Black Cat miraculous gives the power to destroy things with a touch (at will)

And so on, pretty much like canon but with some modifications

Marinette

was born quirkless

when she was younger, kids (cough Chloe cough) would make fun of her for it

was insecure about it for a long time and then saw all of the ways that quirks could backfire and decided it wasn’t worth it and it no longer bothers her (much)

(seeing Chloe blind herself was funny tho, even if it was temporary)

still wants to be a fashion designer

wary of superheros because of all of that property damage and also some of them are lowkey sus.

parents still own a bakery

Sabine’s quirk is levitation. She can make items and people float with her mind but they have to be things she can physically lift (it’s okay tho cause she’s smol but strong). The drawback is that she gets really bad headaches and if she uses it too much or for too long, she can get a migraine.

Tom has a smaller, tamer version of pyrokinesis. He can’t make his entire body burst into flame but he can make certain parts, like his hands. He has a naturally high resistance to extreme weathers as his body heat is unusally high (hugs from him during the summer are bittersweet b/c he’s a great hugger but it’s too damn HOT DAD GET OFF-). The drawback is that he can’t control the temperature of the flame so if he’s not careful or if he uses his quirk for too long, it’ll burn him. His arms have many burn scars, rip.

back to Marinette

Decided the Hero Life wasn’t for her but still supports her friends who want to do it

Until she met the Lucky Hero, Tikki, her favorite

After plot happens, Tikki gives her the source of her “quirk”, the miraculous, and entrusts Marinette to carry on her legacy

Lots of angsty turmoil before she accepts the miraculous and decided to become a hero.

Chooses to be named the Ladybug, same as canon

Her hero costume would be the same as canon AT FIRST since her decision to go to a hero school was last minute af but then the suit will go through modifications to better suit her power needs and fashion needs

Got through the entrance exam after training with Tikki and because she’s badass shh

Doesn’t get a crush on Adrien until later once they’re already friends (or at all really idk yet)

Adrien

was the result of a quirk marriage

was the *failed result of a quirk marriage

Instead of inheriting both quirks of his parents, like intended, they combined and created a new one

His quirk is Charm. His body releases an invisible pheromone that makes him seem more attractive or trustworthy, sometimes both, depending on the person who smells it. This makes the “victim” more susceptible to his suggestions, but it’s not a total brainwash, unlike his father, so they can still easily fight it off if they wanted to. The drawbacks are that he can’t really stop it so he has to be constantly covered so that he doesn’t accidentally charm everyone. Also, after a while, people can build up tolerance to him and it won’t work as strongly on them.

Gabriel has Brainwash, which is often seen as a villain’s quirk. Everyone is thankful the he decided on fashion as a career and not villainy (oh those poor naive souls). If he looks into your eyes, you are put in his control and won’t be able to fight it unless he lets you go or if you receive a blunt impact to the head. The drawbacks are that he can’t control it so anyone who he makes eye contact with gets brainwashed unless there’s an obstacle in the way i.e.: glasses

Emilie’s quirk is sleep gas. Her skin cells naturally produce a gas that can put people in a coma-like state. The drawbacks are, again, can’t turn it off and the person has to be within range. She also has to be constantly covered.

Adrien wanted to be a hero at first to spite his father

Gabriel always hated heroes and saw them as a nuisance.

So Adrien basically said “fuck you, I’m going to be the best hero because I can”

And somehow convinced his dad to enroll him in College Francois Dupont, a local hero school

(he acutally just charmed him cause his dad isn’t around him enough to build up immunity to his quirk but shh)

He gets in through recommendations and is put in the hero course

This version of Adrien was still childhood friends with Chloe (who is immune to him) and a lot more distrustful of people, especially if they’re nice since he has no way of know if they’re genuinely a nice person or if they just fell prey to his quirk

rip the sunshine boy he has no friends except Chloe for the first few weeks of class

Becomes friends with Nino after they got paired up in a fight simulation

The slowly gets more comfortable around people and becomes more open to friendships

Doesn’t get the Black Cat Miraculous until much, much later when the Squad gets caught up in a fight with villains and the Unlucky Hero, Plagg (Tikki’s partner and husband) decides to entrust him with it

Impulsive chaotic gremlin that gets threatened to be put on a leash made by Marinette

Chloe

also the result of a quirk marriage, this one being successful

Her quirk is called Diamond. Her skin has an extra layer that acts very similarly to an actual diamond so she can reflect, refract, and disperse light. This layer can also harden at her will so that she can become a semi-indestructible prism. Her body’s reaction to light intensifies while in this state. The drawbacks are that while her body is hardened, she cannot move easily and her speed will be greatly reduced. Also, her skin is just very sparkly almost all of the time which makes it hard to hide from villains and to see when it’s sunny out. Usually wear large sunhats and sunglasses to try and reduce the shine

Her and Adrien bond by being products of a quirk marriage

also got in through recommendation and everyone thinks she bought her way in but actually tried very hard to earn her spot

is VERY protective over Adrien and will blind someone if they say anything she deems offensive

She and Marinette practically hate each other on a good day before they were forced to hang out since Adrien kept bringing Chloe along with him whenever the Squad would get into shenanigans

They developed a mutual agreement to be civil at one point and that slowly turned into friendship

Y’know the type of friends that insult each other and fight over every small thing but the second someone else tries to come for the other they won’t h e s i t a t e BITCH

yeah that’s them

anyways, I digress

Is surprisingly the sensible one of the group

“no you cannot run headfirst into the fight Adrien, these are actual villains and you can’t even pass a simulation without dumb luck.”

“I don’t care if your quirk can heal you Marinette, stop jumping off of rooftops and go down the stairs like a normal person!”

“Put it down, Nino.”

“Luka. No.”

you get the idea

she is Mom

Says she wants to be a hero because hero’s are cool and she’s cool so it just makes sense for her to be a hero

(actually though because she wanted to make her mother proud of her but you didn’t hear it from me)

Is lowkey really powerful and if she tried to use the full extent of her powers, she’d be a beast

but don’t tell her that, she’s already got a big head

Luka

is working towards becoming an underground hero

His quirk is sound amplification. He amplifies preexisting sound waves to what ever frequency is needed. Depending on the frequency, he can break through almost any object. The drawback is that sound waves can damage his hearing and can become temporarily deaf if he uses it too long or if he creates a frequency that’s too high for his body to handle. Has a chance of becoming permanently deaf if he overuses his quirk too many times

His suit comes with modifications to help with that so he should be fine he hopes

His guitar doubles as a weapon since he usually amplifies whatever chord he plays

Already has his provisional hero licence

is still really chill

is one of the first to figure out Marinette’s secret but is a good boi so he doesn’t tell

you’d think that being the oldest of the group he’d be the sensible one but nope

is accidentally the one that encourages shenanigans

Luka, innocently: Hey, did you know that the teachers don’t lock up the sim rooms?

Chloe: *Death glare*

Luka: *nervous confusion*

the one who encouraged Juleka to go for the hero course

Nino

Adrien’s best friend, just like canon

started out as general studies since he wasn’t sure if he was good enough to be a hero but a teacher saw his potential and was transferred into the hero course

His quirk is time reduction. He can slow time or even stop it completely if he concentrates very hard, allowing him to get one place to the next in literally no time at all. He used to think it was super speed because this but found out what it really was when he tried to save a cat from being run over and stopped time. He can also stop only certain objects in time but that takes up more energy. The drawback is that if he overuses his quirk he starts to speed up his own time in order to compensate for the time he’s losing so he becomes very tired and after “3 hours” of his own time passed he will pass out from exhaustion. Also, he can only manipulate the time within his quirk’s range which can go up to about the size of an american football field (160 feet/49) meters.

is super insecure of his quirk because he thinks it’s not as cool as everyone else’s

they make sure to let him know that that’s bs and he’s very cool

feeds off of Adiren’s chaotic energy during simulations

has been put in timeout by Chloe when this happens

will stop time to bask in the moment

gets emotional during this

there have been many times where the Squad is chilling and suddenly everyone just sees Nino sobbing

group hugs ensue

Adrien, probably: “Chloe get your shiny ass in the cuddle pile or so help me-!”

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I’ll make a part two since this is already so long, but that’s it for now! What do y’all think?

Part 2 is now up!

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupen chang #chloe bourgeois #adrien agreste #nino lahiffe #luka couffaine #ml x bnha #ml au idea #ml au #quirk au #miraculous quirk au

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ddaenghoney · 4 years

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chapter nineteen

masterlist link in blog description.

As a successful songwriter, you want nothing more than the acknowledgment that the chart-topping musical pieces are your own creations. But contracts, relationships, and the difficulty of facing the stakes involved head on, keep your mouth shut until pressure builds too much.

Pairing(s): Park Jimin x Y/N, Min Yoongi x Y/N

disclaimer: any characters depicted do not represent the actual personality of the respected idol in real life.

Series warning(s)/genre(s): Chapter-based written fic, Slow-burn relationship(s), Fake-dating, Unrequited love, Songwriter/producer!oc, idol!Jimin, idol/songwriter/producer!Yoongi, friends with benefits, drama, romance, smut, angst, fluff (updated as needed)

Chapter warning(s): jimin redemption arc?... have y’all heard of that song... Promise..? yeah.

Word count: 5324

if you enjoy please, please let me know!

The company garage contains a normal amount of vehicles for the time of the day, and practically no one in sight as you and Yoongi reach his Audi. With his hand untangling from yours to find the keys in his pocket, you use both appendages to rub your face and muffle a loud groan into the skin. The electrical clicking of the car unlocking sounds as Yoongi turns back to face you, eyebrows perked.

“It’s catching up with you?” He asks though it sounds more like a comment. You just nod your head, still covering the majority of your face as the conversation plays over and over. Yoongi’s head tilts also thinking back upon the situation, and frankly not finding any of what you told Yerin wrong. Taehyung’s likely to get unnerved behind chuckles when he hears about the potential contract troubles you intend to land yourself into, but Yoongi completely respects the method to break free of the whole ordeal.

No matter what, SoundWave is not going to budge on their side. He imagines they’re willing to take the secret to the grave without ever leaning for a second in the direction of your favor. Though the risk to your reputation is high, Yoongi understands the current view perception you have in the public is not good already anyways. At least with this method there exists a greater likelihood of you being recognized as the victim Yerin made you into, and not the issue she tries to manipulate the world into seeing.

“How the hell am I supposed to explain myself in front of the press, or anything like that? What was I thinking?” Your hands fall away to clump into a tight bind in front of your torso.

“You were thinking that you shouldn’t be blamed for this anymore.” Yoongi’s feet come into your view as he steps closer. Gently his fingertips find your sides, easing tiny waves of warmth as he gently rubs. Ducking down to your level he continues fervently. “And none of this is your fault, so you should do this if it’s what you want to, angel.”

“But what if no one even believes me?” You glance up at him with worry, biting the corner of your lip. “Everyone already hates me, Yoon.” The crack in your tone triggers a small shake in your shoulders. Hushing the tension trying to stir, Yoongi’s lips place a small fluttering kiss against your forehead as his hands move you an inch or so closer. Your balled fists find his chest, pressing flat to feel the serene beat.

“I don’t doubt the majority of people will believe you though, baby.” He murmurs against your skin, dipping another kiss against your cheeks then they tighten from an unsure frown. “If SoundWave doesn’t say anything back then it proves you’re telling the truth. If they try to sue you, then it proves you’re telling the truth because the confidentiality clause of your contract is going to get into the public.”

“I’m just scared that whatever I say to a reporter is going to get twisted.” You lift your eyes up, finding Yoongi’s. “But if I try to do a livestream to explain this all, well,” You shrug, sighing. “Knowing me I’ll probably look super nervous and not explain the situation right.”

“No, a livestream wouldn’t be best.” Yoongi nods. “I know a couple of reporters who have always been good to me whenever I work with them. Let’s talk to one of them, alright? That way you can speak in a comfortable environment.”

You bite your lip. The closeness of this path’s fruition sends a rumble through your chest, as the wavering perspectives clash. The prickling feeling of guilt lingers, raising the volume of the distressed idols of SoundWave desperate to keep you quiet. One person speaking out to ruin hundreds of employees who were manipulated to various degrees.

“I need to tell Jihyo.” Your hands grip wrinkles on Yoongi’s shirt. The corner of his mouth divets in worry of your somberly building expression. “Give her and her group some warning.” Thoughts of their bright faces during promotion periods and cheerfully thanking you personally after award shows cross your mind. “And,”

Memories flood of early months in your career at SoundWave. Its modest appearance in those days feels reminiscent of a home left behind. The trainees were all uncertain, and the couple of active idols appreciated a moderate level of popularity. Long hours of work between you and others in the production department of music collected a camaraderie that cheerfully flourished with the appearance of consistent success. Pieces of a puzzle found their correct locations one after another creating a gleaming picture that shined when Jimin debuted.

You can easily remember the amount of detail into his debut album. The active involvement he made to attend as many meetings as possible despite not being allowed to contribute input where music was concerned. Bright and eager he’d run around the building with complete excitement for his debut that gained exponential traction from the concept photos alone.

More often than not the small handful of employees remaining in the building in the middle of the night would consist of him and you, so there was ample time to connect. Though initially you think he stuck around you with an apologetic ambience. Discontented by his lack of help while you conceptualized the lyrics of his album. And you told Jimin it was more than alright for you, because you were just as excited for so many of your songs to be used.

Genuinely expressing your willingness to let any of them perform the music under their names because at least it was being heard. At least you were doing what you wanted to do, modestly or not. You told him names weren’t important because you knew and that was enough.

“I need to tell Jimin.”

The tension in your hands drifts away, replacing itself with an airy nervousness. Scrambling in your mind, thoughts crash from the surprise of your candor. Yoongi grips your wrists, gently encapsulating them like a cushion for your wandering head. You look up at him as he maneuvers your arms down between the two of your bodies. Tangling your hands together, he nods slightly, the shadow of an empathetic smile barely visible.

“Yeah. You do.”

“Because I owe it to them, though-” He nods again, squeezing your hands.

“I know. I didn’t think anything of it, angel. I know he meant a lot to you.”

“Yoongi,” Your eyebrows crease, feeling bothered to leave this issue so simply. “You mean more to me.”

“You really,” He chuckles. Smile shifts into a softer tone. “Don’t need to explain yourself. I believe you-”

“But I don’t want you to worry-- or force away showing me that it makes you uncomfortable.” You remove your hands to rest them on Yoongi’s shoulders, watching as his smile dissipates. “I’m telling them--I’m telling Jimin because I don’t think it’s right of me to wreck their careers without even telling them that I want to tell the truth about everything. I’m not telling him because he means a lot to me, I’m telling him because I owe him that. You mean the most to me.”

Yoongi’s lips tighten to a line, feeling his heartbeat ricochet. He lets his arms find their way around you when you guide your lips against his. The worry in his throat lingers until the connection causes a dispersion. Like tiny enamored words silently press onto his lips, Yoongi can visualize your sincerity as your fingers individually squeeze onto his shoulders.

“You’ve always been beside me.” Your voice emits a clinging sensation as you speak mumbles on his mouth. “I’m so happy I’m with you, Yoon.”

Stinging blurs in his eyes, and Yoongi travels his thumbs to your cheeks to brush away the dots of glittery tears. “You’re sweet, angel.” He catches the slight widening of your eyes, but ignores the meaning to cover every instance of tears on your skin with a kiss. “You don’t need to cry about this.”

“They’re your tears, baby.” Yoongi hums as your words enter his ears, and he blinks to release another silent stream. Lips purse as your thumbs now rub along his face. He watches your gentle smile with a growing fondness clenching in his chest.

“I really did believe you before you told me that.” You listen to the murmur, glancing up to his eyes when his hands grip your sides. “I don’t doubt you.” A smile blossoms in front of your gaze, and Yoongi shrugs bashfully. “But what you said clearly made me really happy.”

Heat crawls in patches on your cheeks, as you peck another kiss against his lips intending for it to be a short moment before you speak again. However, Yoongi holds you there, following your movement and deepening the connection with endeared craving. One of your hands falls to his chest feeling the deep beat, and Yoongi’s thumbs press on the divet between your hip bones, lapping in the moment.

Parting allows breaths to flood the air along with his whisper, “You’re precious to me.”

“Are you going to try and make me cry now?”

“No,” He chuckles, shadowing his lips along the side of your mouth. “I just feel lucky someone like you came into my life.”

“Yoongi,” Your hand pats against his heart and he holds it in place with his larger appendage. You pout as he pulls his head back to properly look at you. “I really will cry--what are you smiling about that for?”

“You’re so cute.” Your growing pout only serves to promote the grinning expression. You sigh, trying to avoid his fond stare so your face doesn’t redden more.

“Sorry, I made you stand in the background of that whole thing, by the way.”

“That’s alright-- you were a badass, I enjoyed it.” Yoongi laughs as you shake your head and attempt to push him away from you out of embarrassment. “I have to meet Hoseok in about an hour and a half to tour a building.”

“Wow, you’re both working quickly.” You say in surprise as Yoongi releases your hand from the hold against his chest. He nods sheepishly,

“Well everything will take a while to get together so it’s best to start sooner than later. Do you want to tag along, angel?”

“Doubt Hoseok wants an audience.”

“Please,” Yoongi chuckles as he rubs his bangs from his face. “He won’t mind at all. Besides he likes you a lot anyways. He thinks you’re more fun than me.”

“Don’t pout.” You smile, poking your thumb into his cheek as Yoongi bitterly says his last sentence. He rolls his eyes, allowing your hand to remain on his face as you continue speaking. “I’ll go, but just because I want to hold your hand while I figure out what I’m going to say to Jimin and Jihyo.”

“So don’t talk to you while we’re touring.” Yoongi chuckles as you nod with complete seriousness of the idea. “That’s fine, I like having you around in general anyways.” He says nodding in the direction of his car steps away.

“Oh, just to look at?” You question over the top of his car as Yoongi rolls his eyes and simply slides into the driver seat. You stare inquisitively at him when you join, refraining from your joking smile to appear on your face. Dipping your head forward to the dash to remain in his peripherals, you nearly let out a giggle as he looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah-”

“Jerk.” You smile at Yoongi when he shakes his head holding back his own laughter. “I thought you just said I was precious to you-”

Yoongi kisses you to interrupt the sentence, content with the sight of your flustered smile as he pulls away. “Most precious, angel.”

---

Your groan muffles against soft fabric, while your legs curl beneath the warmth of your comforter. Clinging your hands tighter, they feel the rumbling of chuckles that your ears detect languidly above your head. One eye peeks open with enough time to watch Yoongi’s arm fall away to the mattress from where he tried to ease your body off his own. He simply looks up at the ceiling as the hand connected to his arm you lie on rubs tiny strokes on your back

“Thought you said you were going to sleep in.” Your voice lulls and you only curl closer to his frame. Yoongi hums vaguely, angling his face towards you so the view of his slowly waking expression reveals itself with the softness of sunlight through the windows painting it warmly.

“It’s almost one. We both have slept in, angel.” Yoongi says watching with amusement as your eyes quickly widen from surprise. He watches with interest as you pick yourself up on one arm to look over his body to the bedside clock corroborating his statement. “Sleep well?”

“I guess too well.” Your quiet voice is twinged with muted embarrassment, but considering how easily you drifted into a deep sleep you aren’t remorseful.

“It’s Sunday, so it doesn’t really matter anyways.” Yoongi admits with a sigh as he stretches both arms out in the air above you both.

“Well, it sort of matters since the reporter is coming in a couple of hours.” Your eyes fall back to Yoongi when the sensation of his hands against your waist register. Lazily he brings you down to him so that one of your arms presses between your bodies. He kisses you gently, then smiles when you immediately kiss along his jaw. “Guess what.”

“Hmm?” He barely manages to voice the retort, focusing more on the sudden spark of energy in your irises as you smile down at him.

“I’m really good at making pancakes.”

“Better than the burnt takeout you reheated the other day?” Yoongi’s head tilts, not bothering to hide the smile as you pout from his teasing.

“With that attitude, you won’t find out.” You cover his protestint mouth with a kiss, then scoot off the bed. “But you do have to help me.” You state as you press a finger to your phone screen. The sight free of notifications leaves a small well in your stomach.

Jihyo instantly responded to the text you left her with a phone call. A lengthy rant of words to you, dirtied with things you doubt she meant but hurt to hear all the same. The pleas she said felt more painful to listen to, each one taking a blunt hit against the wall of conviction in your head. Not managing to break through, but difficult to shut down.

The longer text message sent to Jimin, you anticipated a similar phone call in return. With the history between the two of you, there was little to stop the assumption that Jimin would wholeheartedly use that as a way to feel comfortable enough to call. This was the decision he was so afraid of that it ended the relationship between you both. Even with what he told you last at the cafe--even when he promised to support your decisions in the future, you can’t imagine this would sit so silently in his throat.

“Did he respond?” Yoongi’s voice brings you back, as his arms do a quick job to unconsciously comfort you. Encircling your hips, he brings you a step towards where he sits at the edge of the bed, letting his head rest against your waist.

“Nope.” You shimmy an arm free so that you can tangle the hand within Yoongi’s unkempt dark locks. “I’m not really waiting for him too, though. I still want to talk to the reporter.”

“Bugs you though?”

“I just expected him to say something--be mad at me like Jihyo was.” You lean yourself to sit against his thigh, while Yoongi lifts his head to look at you. The phone goes to the bed with a small toss as you look out the window at the rich summer day. It moves in slow motion like most Sundays with people casually out and about relaxed. You feel the same. “I’m kind of surprised that I don’t care that much about what Jihyo said in retrospect. Whatever Jimin decides to do too… I don’t feel weighed down by it really.”

“I was thinking that may be the case with how easily you fell asleep last night.” Yoongi says simply, shaking his head as you roll your eyes from the idea he’s joking. “Y/N, I mean you looked really settled. Sure about everything.”

“Sleeping me should teach awake me a thing or two then-” Your voice turns into a small yelp as Yoongi lightly pinches your hip to cut you off. Throwing your voice into a longer squeal, Yoongi falls back on the bed taking you with him.

“You’re sure of yourself either way.” Yoongi says as you shift around atop him to lie more comfortably on his chest. “You’re going to say what you want to, put SoundWave in its place, and go on to be an incredible songwriter and producer that everyone will finally get to see.”

The thought fills you with an excited breath, held back with a smile grateful for Yoongi's words. His positive outlook assists to diminish worry every time, but you can’t understand where the confidence for you comes from. You doubt that he would tell you something just to pacify worries if the words weren’t based in some type of understanding. “Why do you believe in me so much?”

Yoongi suddenly frowns at the question, though not irritated but instead perplexed. When he considers the inquisition, he doesn’t find his answer to be anything substantial or groundbreaking. He doesn’t need to tell you that talent alone is more than half the reason why he thinks so highly of where you intend to go in your career, because your work speaks for itself. But beyond that, what he believes feels very simple.

“You haven’t ever given up.” Yoongi says. In the following silence he grows more convicted to speak on as your hands curl against his chest and your eyes fill with surprise. “If it hadn’t been SoundWave that found you first, then you would already be successful. You’re talented, passionate-- I can’t see you stopping until you were happy with where you’re at, and that’s what you’re doing now. You deserve what you’re aiming for.”

A doorbell interrupts your chest from fluttering at Yoongi’s words. Your heads turn in the direction of the door in the other room. Whipping your gaze back to Yoongi, your voice fills with a surprised worry,

“Wait, is the reporter here already?” You stand up from him, rushing to a dresser to retrieve a pair of jeans. “I just woke up-- what’s he doing here this early,” You ramble along as Yoongi sits up with fretting brows.

“What if it’s not even him, angel?” He asks, but the words fall on deaf ears while you simply scramble into the bathroom. Yoongi sighs, shaking his head in amusement as he walks to the front of the bed for his sweatpants. “I’ll go let him in.”

“Give him water and apologize to him for me!” You call out frantically, missing Yoongi’s call of agreement as you turn on water to brush your teeth. Within minutes you manage to have your teeth cleaned and face washed. You pat a towel against your skin, thinking over the words that you really had yet to plan completely. You sigh, tossing the towel aside and stepping back into your bedroom to search for shirt that wouldn’t have wrinkles on it like the one currently hanging off your shoulders.

“Baby,” Yoongi’s voice startles you as you glance up. He stands at the entrance of the bedroom, hand clamped on the doorknob.

“You can use my kitchen to get him a snack if he wants-”

“It’s not the reporter.” Yoongi shakes his head, entering inside the room with the door shutting behind him. The material in your hands falls back into the dresser as you straighten up, looking towards your boyfriend in confusion. “It’s Jimin.”

“What?” Your voice practically gasps the shock as a similar stupor overtakes your face. Your eyes narrow, glancing towards the closed bedroom door then back to Yoongi. “Wait, he’s here? Like, right now?”

“He wants to talk to you.” Yoongi continues in an even voice, but you can tell that he’s evidently not comfortable with Jimin’s reasonings. For the smallest second your mind wanders about the direction of Yoongi’s worries, but his concerned, gentle voice helps you understand entirely. “If you don’t want to, then I’ll go tell him to go. I don’t want you to feel like you need to.”

The surprise of the situation leaves with Yoongi’s words. Calming your thoughts back to an even ground, you close the drawer shut, leaving your hands atop the furniture for a moment. Your head shakes gently, “No, I’ll talk to him. That’s okay.”

Jimin stands in your living space as you walk from the hallway. Blue hair is barely discernible as it hides within the confines of a cap on his head. Like most people around this time of the day, he’s dressed appropriately as though he plans to leisurely walk about after his stop at your apartment. He notices you walk in and takes no effort to stop the small smile that comes on his face. The sight of his complexion makes your mind stammer for a reason you can’t quite pinpoint.

“Just woke up?” He asks with his familiarly casual tone as you walk around the couch to meet him where he stands not too far from the front door.

“Maybe,” You can’t help the tiny reply out of embarrassment of your appearance. “Don’t tell me I look like it.”

“You don’t.” The teasing intonation laced in his words highlight the growing smile on his face. “Sorry about waking you up, I thought you’d be awake by now.” He explains, glancing beyond you as padding feet come into your hearing. You look back as Yoongi walks over to the kitchen quietly, and begins scavenging for items to begin cooking. You roll your eyes and bite back a nervous laugh as you turn back towards Jimin.

“We were already awake, it’s no big deal. But what brings you?” You ask, before shaking your head. “Or, I guess I already have an idea.”

“Yeah,” He nods, then bites his lip thoughtfully. Letting him collect his thoughts, you prepare yourself for the idea of having to retort against him just as you did with Jihyo. You were unprepared entirely that he would come to talk in person about the text message, but you can understand why he feels the need to face you directly. “You’re really going to tell everything about SoundWave?”

“I don’t want everything I did for them to go unrecognized anymore.” You say as though prompted to defend yourself. Readying the next statement, you open your mouth but freeze as Jimin softly nods his head.

“Yeah, I understand that.” In the background of your thoughts, you hear the sound of eggshells cracking and it feels reminiscent of the assumptions in your head feeling ready to shatter. “Actually, I just stopped here before going to the river for the festival. I have a performance tonight.”

“You do?” You dumbly say in a stupor, confused still about the intention of this entire conversation. You expected the argument at Seulgi’s party to replay with louder voices. “Wait, yeah, I knew that. I saw the lineup. Sorry, I’m spacing out here.” You laugh softly, as your hand reaches to rub your neck.

“That’s okay. I came unannounced, after all.” Jimin glances towards the floor while his hands shift in his jean pockets. You watch his lips tighten and his eyebrows narrow and again your heart feels the need to prepare itself. “Do you realize what could happen to your reputation if you say everything?”

Your heart beats in your chest like a loud thump and any other activity in the room seems to go silent at his question. You really don’t want to argue with him about why you’re unwilling to remain quiet with your mouth clamped shut. The last conversation you had with Jimin felt like it cleared the air better between you both, and reverting to harsh words would only leave things sour, but you can’t help it if that’s the case. So you speak freely,

“I know what could happen. I don’t care about that anymore though. I’m tired of letting everyone in charge of us control everything and not let anyone have a say.”

“Us?” Jimin repeats and if you didn’t see his lips contorting into an amused smile you would’ve felt the need to clarify. His head nods, keeping you quiet while you wonder what led him here. “I’m really tired of it too.”

Your lips part as his sentence falls into the air between you. With surprised irises you watch as Jimin rubs the arch of his shoulder and a sheepish smile grows on his lips. “I have a lot less to fall back on than you do, I guess though.”

“What do you mean?” You blurt in confusion, completely uncertain of the direction he intends to take the conversation. Farther and farther from the idea of him coming to talk you out of your plans, your mind drifts to the present where Jimin speaks so differently than what you anticipated.

“I finished making a song with Jeongguk-- well, he let me use his studio to make it, since SoundWave wouldn’t have enjoyed me making one on my own.” Jimin’s lips tighten into a line while he feels the vibration of his emotions behind his ribcage. “Instead of the last song scheduled on my set I’m going to perform it. And before I do that I’m going to apologize to everyone for pretending your music was mine.”

“Jimin,” Your hands clench at your sides while the bulk of your unabashed surprise overtakes your expression. “You’ll-”

“I told you I promise to support whatever you wanted to do.” No allowance for negotiation exists in the bright tone of Jimin’s voice. He smiles on at you as your vision clouds from the stinging feeling of the very late decision to truly take your side despite what it could mean for both of you. “It’d be better for my fans to hear it from me… Maybe some of them will understand where I’m coming from about why it happened, but,” He inhales and you can tell the worry of his efforts being wasted for his own career are weighing down his throat. “In any case, I won’t have to be mad at myself for lying to them anymore.”

You reach for your face to stop the first line of tears escaping your eyes, feeling your shoulders tremble. Without speaking, a comforting hand finds the disturbed shake of your spine where grateful tears well within.

“Jimin,” An inhale interrupts your sentence, as you try not to let your emotions shake your words. “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to.” Jimin smiles gently and watching him dip his head to hide beneath his cap’s bill as a hand quickly swipes against his cheeks makes your throat bang bittersweetly. “I should have done this a long time ago, Y/N.” Still under the cover of his hat you hear his lips take in a sharp inhale, before Jimin looks up to you properly and smiles beneath puffy eyes. “I’m just sorry the song I’m going to play is about you.”

“I can handle a diss track, it’s okay-”

“Then you should be able to handle one that isn’t that, just fine.” Jimin exhales, rubbing his hands together as though coming to terms with the gravity of this conversation. He nods his head, “I can’t wait to see you bring down Yerin. Take care of yourself, okay?”

You’re only able to nod, rubbing your eyes free of any remaining tears as Jimin turns on his heel. When he reaches the door, you can imagine a shine as words manage to come from your mouth, “You too, Jimin. You’ll make it-- you have plenty to fall back on, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! I wrote songs, but they wouldn’t have taken off if it wasn’t you singing them. You’re talented too, Jimin.”

As he turns back towards you, Jimin’s complexion glitters with vibrancy that’s new to your eyes. As though a metamorphosis has undergone, Jimin appears reminiscent of the early days that you met him full of optimism, but now without the underlying nervousness. Now ready to simply exist as he wants and let the cards play out. “Thank you, lovely.”

The door shuts behind Jimin, leaving you to rub your face with a confusing mixture of sadness and gratitude for the conversation. The hand left on your back leads you to a small turn to meet the engulfment of Yoongi’s body. You instantly latch your arms around him, squeezing very tightly as you groan against his chest.

“You’re really strong-”

“I can’t believe that just happened!” You look up at him with remaining surprise lingering in your expression. You huff and shake your head. “Really-” Your words muffle when Yoongi rubs his thumb on your cheeks gently to catch any of the remaining tears staining the skin. “I didn’t expect that.”

“I thought I’d have to shove him out of here at some point to be honest-”

“You wanted to,” You ramble into his sentence and meet his pout with a kiss. “What just happened?”

“Another member joined the team, angel.” Yoongi says with a candid tone that makes you giggle against his chest at the obvious uncaring disposition rumbling beneath the surface at the idea of Jimin wearing the same jersey as the two of you.

“Can I say something honestly, but preface it by telling you I love you?” You speak casually, watching as Yoongi’s pouting expression quickly deteriorates and replaces with utter shock as he tilts his head down at you. Confused by his change in attitude, you grip tighter on his back, frown growing on your face as you look on at his widened eyes. “What?”

“You love me?”

“What?” You both drift into silence, simply staring at each other in shock. Your initial sentence replays in your head, and a boulder forms in your throat as you practically choke from your own words. “I,” You literally bite the side of your tongue to will thoughts back into an intelligible assortment in your mind that is not helped by Yoongi’s complete attention still presently peering down at you. “I do.”

“You do-”

“I love you.” Your voice only whispers but it cuts him off completely. Yoongi’s mouth clamps back shut giving your brain a second to pulsate at a high rate until the beginning speckles of a blush start covering his cheeks. You don’t think of speaking again, but words come out, “I really love you.”

Yoongi’s limp hands on your back suddenly slide to your sides, squeezing as the things you say appear to catch up with his head. While you look on at him, the words feel so sweet on your lips that you think you could say it over and over, and the mere fact makes your heart warm in its happy beat. You smile, happy to say it again until Yoongi decisively cuts off the endearment with his lips colliding with yours.

“I love you too,” Yoongi mumbles, smiling into the kiss as your hands drag along the back of his shirt. “So much-” Deepening the kiss, you both find yourselves compliant with the idea of silence so that you can continue in the longing kiss with freshly discovered intimacy.

“Wait,” You tug off of him, turning your head, “Did you turn the stove on-”

“Shit--the butter’s burning-”

if you enjoy please, please let me know via ask, comment, rb with tags– however ! i’d just really appreciate feedback 🥺 i hope you enjoy the series, i’m working really hard on it! : )

tag list (send an ask to be added): @jaiuneamesolitaiire @tsvkino-usagi @xionysus @baebyjoonie @honeyoongles @betysotelo18

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tlbodine · 5 years

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Horror Films: 1940s

The 1940s were a weird time for the horror genre.

Lots of great movies were made in the 1940s. Casablanca. Citizen Kane. Several of classic Disney titles. There were undoubtedly magnificent films coming out of this decade.

Unfortunately almost none of them were horror movies.

After seeing a big surge in the 1930s, horror took a big hit. There’s several reasons for this. A big one is the Hays Code, which made it harder to make scary movies -- especially movies with supernatural elements. There was also WWII to contend with, and horror tends to drop in popularity when the world itself is horrifying. Worldwide anxiety makes for great horror. But when there’s a clear and present danger, scary stories stop being such an in-demand outlet.

Nevertheless, there were a few stand-out films of the 40s worth exploring.

We didn’t get around to them yet, but next week we’re aiming for a double creature feature of The Wolf-Man and Cat People, which should serve as nice bookends.

But last night we opted for something different: Gaslight, directed by Thorold Dickinson, a British film based on a stage play. In 1944, an American version would be made starring Ingrid Bergman and winning a whole slew of awards, but we went with the earlier film because it’s 1.) closer to the source material and 2.) was free on YouTube, and I blew a lot of money already on that Universal Monsters Blu-Ray set.

youtube

Anyway. Why this movie?

Curiosity, mostly. The term “gaslighting” seemingly cropped up out of nowhere and then became known everywhere, and we thought it’d be interesting to watch what it’s referring to.

In case you’ve been living under a rock, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation/abuse where the abuser tries to make the victim feel crazy and unable to trust their own memories of events.

In the film, the leading man is a two-timing criminal who’s systematically trying to discredit his wife as a witness against him after she unwittingly discovers evidence of his crimes. He manages to convince her that she is far more vulnerable and damaged than she is, and probably would’ve gotten away with doing some really awful things to her if not for the interference of a retired cop who recognizes him from a crime years ago and becomes intent on bringing him to the law.

Fun fact: When the 1944 American film was produced, MGM bought the rights to the story and tried to have this original film destroyed (even the negatives!) so that nobody would watch it and it couldn’t compete with their movie. Fortunately that plan failed. Kind of ironic actually because if they’d succeeded in obliterating the earlier film and then convincing filmgoers that the 1944 version was indeed the only one to ever exist, then they themselves would be gaslighting the audience...hmmmm.

Anyway! It’s a pretty good movie. Slow, like most films of the era are. But it does an exceptional job at showing an abusive relationship in a way that’s both honest and informative without falling into the trap of making it seem overdone or melodramatic. This is a movie that you could still show to audiences today and say, “Hey, if this behavior seems familiar to you, dump that motherfucker.”

Also a shout-out to Frank Pettingell for his role as the retired-but-tenacious lawman B.G. Rough. Rough’s character is a scene-stealer, and it’s hard not to love him for his bluster, even if he’s not exactly un-problematic by modern standards (solving the mystery does kind of involve him essentially stalking the wife and totally ignoring her boundaries, but like, in a nice way. Product of his times and all that).

#horror by the decade #1940s #gaslighting #horror movies

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makistar2018 · 5 years

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Why Taylor Swift Has No Problem Defending Herself—No Matter the Cost

by BILLY NILLES Jul. 2, 2019

As Taylor Swift approaches her upcoming 30th birthday, happening on December 13 of this year, she's begun taking stock of the things she's learned over the course of her first three decades on the planet. In March, she let fans in on a handful of them—30 of them, to be exact—via a self-penned piece in Elle and near the very top, perhaps belying its importance to the superstar, is the following:

"Being sweet to everyone all the time can get you into a lot of trouble. While it may be born from having been raised to be a polite young lady, this can contribute to some of your life's worst regrets if someone takes advantage of this trait in you. Grow a backbone, trust your gut, and know when to strike back. Be like a snake—only bite if someone steps on you."

As the last few years have proven, Swift has certainly grown unafraid to bite as a means of defending herself and the things she believes in. Not bad for someone whose so-called silence invited accusations of standing for nothing from critics.

Take this weekend's response to the news that celebrity music manager Scooter Braun, whose list of past and present clientele includes Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Kanye West and Demi Lovato, was the new owner of her entire music catalogue, thanks to his media holding company Ithaca Holdings LLC. reaching a "finalized" contract" with Big Machine Label Group, Swift's former record label, to acquire the company. The deal, made for a reported $300 million, includes Big Machine Music, which means that Braun retain ownership of the master recordings of each of the six albums she's released to date, as well as music from other artists such as Reba McEntire, Sheryl Crow and Lady Antebellum. And, as Swift admitted in an incendiary Tumblr post, it left her feeling "sad and grossed out."

After explaining that she'd hoped to own her work prior to departing Big Machine for Universal Music Group (Big Machine's distributor) in November of last year, only to be offered a deal to "'earn' one album back at a time, one for every new one I turned in," as she wrote, she walked away from her past so that her future wouldn't be tied to a company that founder Scott Borchetta was clearly intent on selling to the highest bidder.

Jun Sato/TAS18/Getty Images

"Some fun facts about today's news: I learned about Scooter Braun's purchase of my masters as it was announced to the world," she wrote. "All I could think about was the incessant, manipulative bullying I've received at his hands for years."

As she explained in her post, she felt that Scooter's fingerprints were all over West and wife Kim Kardashian West's attempts to assassinate her character in the aftermath of the "Famous" lyrics debacle, which infamously find the rapper claiming that he "made that bitch famous," appearing in a screenshot of a FaceTime call between Bieber and West that the former shared with the since-deleted caption "Taylor swift what up" that she believes was intended to "bully [her] online about it" and allowing then-client West to release "a revenge porn music video which strips my body naked."

"Essentially, my musical legacy is about to lie in the hands of someone who tried to dismantle it. This is my worst case scenario. This is what happens when you sign a deal at 15 to someone for whom the term 'loyalty' is clearly just a contractual concept. And when that man says, 'Music has value,' he means its value is beholden to men who had no part in creating it," she continued. "When I left my masters in Scott's hands, I made peace with the fact that eventually he would sell them. Never in my worst nightmares did I imagine the buyer would be Scooter. Any time Scott Borchetta has heard the words 'Scooter Braun' escape my lips, it was when I was either crying or trying not to. He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn't want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever."

Taylor's move to take the two men involved in the deal to task has, predictably, drawn a line in the sand in the music industry, with folks like Brendon Urie, Halsey, Iggy Azalea, BFF Todrick Hall and other BFF Selena Gomezs mom Mandy Teefey publicly supporting Swift, while Bieber, Lovato, and Scooter's wife Yael Cohen Braun, who accused Swift of bullying her husband by going public with her beef, thereby sending her fan base his way, coming out in support of him.

While the minutiae of the deal and who knew about what when remains unclear, with Borchetta and Cohen Braun both furnishing receipts of some sort in their rebuttals to Swift that challenge her timeline, what is clear is that Swift is speaking up not just to shine a light on an injustice she's experiencing, but also to prevent other impressionable artistic youth from falling prey to the same sort of contract she willingly signed back in her early teens.

"Thankfully, I left my past in Scott's hands and not my future," she wrote. "And hopefully, young artists or kids with musical dreams will read this and learn about how to better protect themselves in a negotiation. You deserve to own the art you make."

It's hardly the first time that Swift has vociferously defended herself while also trying to move the needle forward for those less fortunate than her, be they artists or women in general.

Back in 2013, Swift informed bosses at Denver's KYGO-FM that morning show personality David Mueller had sexually assaulted her, groping her at a meet-and-greet event as they posed for a photo alongside Mueller's then-girlfriend Shannon Melchor. "When we were posing for the photo, he stuck his hand up my dress and grabbed onto my ass cheek," she explained to TIME in 2017. "I squirmed and lurched sideways to get away from him, but he wouldn't let go. At the time, I was headlining a major arena tour and there were a number of people in the room that saw this plus a photo of it happening. I figured that if he would be brazen enough to assault me under these risky circumstances and high stakes, imagine what he might do to a vulnerable, young artist if given the chance. It was important to report the incident to his radio station because I felt like they needed to know. The radio station conducted its own investigation and fired him."

Two years after the radio host saw his employment status at the station go from "current" to "former," he filed suit against Swift, accusing her of lying and suing him for making him lose his job. He wanted $3 million in damages. As result, she brought a countersuit against Mueller for assault and battery, taking him to trial.

AP Photo/Jeff Kandyba

By 2017, she was on the stand, showing an unflappable, steely determination to defend herself in the face of a man who'd wronged her and a legal team intent on discrediting her. When asked why the photos of the incident didn't show the front of her skirt wrinkled as evidence of any wrongdoing, she answered plainly, "Because my ass is located at the back of my body." When she was asked if she felt guilty about Mueller losing his job, she responded, "I'm not going to let you or your client make me feel in any way that this is my fault. Here we are years later, and I'm being blamed for the unfortunate events of his life that are the product of his decisions—not mine."

In the end, the jury threw out Mueller's unfair dismissal case, ruling in Swift's favor, awarding the singer the symbolic $1 dollar she'd asked for. In a statement released after the verdict was rendered, she said, "I acknowledge the privilege that I benefit from in life, in society and in my ability to shoulder the enormous cost of defending myself in a trial like this. My hope is to help those whose voices should also be heard. Therefore, I will be making donations in the near future to multiple organizations that help sexual assault victims defend themselves."

A year later, Swift spoke to fans during a Tampa, Fla. stop on her Reputation Stadium Tour about the incident, thanking them for sticking by her during a "really, really horrible" time in her life. "I just think about all the people that weren't believed, or the people who haven't been believed, or the people who are afraid to speak up because they don't think they will be believed," Swift said. "And I just want to say that I'm sorry to everyone who ever wasn't believed because I don't know what turn my life would have taken if people hadn't believed in me when I said that something happened."

Over the years, Swift has also used her superstar muscle to advocate for what she believes she and all other artists deserve during this streaming revolution. In 2014, after penning an article for the Wall Street Journal in which she argued that "music should not be free" and that artists shouldn't "underestimate themselves or undervalue their art," she pulled her entire discography from Spotify.

"Music is changing so quickly, and the landscape of the music industry itself is changing so quickly, that everything new, like Spotify, all feels to me a bit like a grand experiment," Swift told Yahoo that November, defending her position. "And I'm not willing to contribute my life's work to an experiment that I don't feel fairly compensates the writers, producers, artists and creators of this music. And I just don't agree with perpetuating the perception that music has no value and should be free."

Instagram

The following June, she penned an open letter to fans, explaining why they wouldn't be able to find her latest album, 1989, wouldn't be made available on Apple Music once the service launched. As she explained, her issue lay with Apple Music's decision not to pay artists during its free three-month trial for users to sign up. "I'm not sure you know that Apple Music will not be paying writers, producers, or artists for those three months. I find it to be shocking, disappointing, and completely unlike this historically progressive and generous company," she wrote, adding that she was speaking on behalf of fellow musicians who had some hesitation at speaking out against the tech company.

"These are not the complaints of a spoiled, petulant child. These are the echoed sentiments of every artist, writer and producer in my social circles who are afraid to speak up publicly because we admire and respect Apple so much. We simply do not respect this particular call," she added. "We don't ask you for free iPhones. Please don't ask us to provide you with our music for no compensation."

A day later, Apple announced that it would, indeed, be paying artists during the free trial period."When I woke up this morning and saw what Taylor had written, it really solidified that we needed a change," Apple's senior vice president of internet services and software Eddy Cue told Billboard in an interview after tweeting that the company was changing course. "And so that's why we decide we will now pay artists during the trial period."

By 2017, in time to celebrate 1989 selling over 10 million albums worldwide and, maybe, to tweak then-frenemy Katy Perry's launch of new album Witness, Swift's music was back on Spotify and added to Amazon Music and Google Play as well.

At every turn, Swift has revealed herself to be someone who has certainly found that backbone she wrote about in Elle. After West claimed he made her famous, he accepted Album of the Year at the 58th Grammy Awards with a speech that didn't mention the rapper by name, but spoke to him just the same. "As the first woman to win Album of the Year at the Grammys twice, I wanna say to all the young women out there: There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success, or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame," she said. "But if you just focus on the work and you don't let those people sidetrack you, someday when you get where you're going, you'll look around and you'll know that it was you and the people who love you that put you there, and that will be the greatest feeling in the world."

When Kardashian West branded her a snake as she shared the questionably-recorded audio of a phone call between Swift and West as he was crafting "Famous," she took the animal iconography on as a central motif in her next album and tour, which became the highest-grossing domestic tour by a woman ever.

"A few years ago, someone started an online hate campaign by calling me a snake on the internet," Swift wrote in Elle. "The fact that so many people jumped on board with it led me to feeling lower than I've ever felt in my life, but I can't tell you how hard I had to keep from laughing every time my 63-foot inflatable cobra named Karyn appeared onstage in front of 60,000 screaming fans. It's the Stadium Tour equivalent of responding to a troll's hateful Instagram comment with 'lol.'"

When speaking with a German news outlet to promote new single "ME!" in May, she was asked if her 30th birthday meant she was going to settle down, get married and have kids soon. She shut that s--t down, saying, "I really do not think men are asked that question when they turn 30. So I'm not going to answer that."

As she's become more politically active, endorsing progressive candidates in her adopted home state of Tennessee, emphatically calling out President Trump, and advocating on behalf of the LGBTQIA community during this most recent Pride Month, after years of being criticized for sitting silently on the sidelines, she's opened herself up to criticism from those who wish their pop stars would shut up—unless they're spouting views identical to their own, of course. But it's no different to the criticism she faced when she was silent, or when she dared to demand fair compensation for her art, or when she simply wanted to be believed as a victim of sexual assault. All of which she's learned to look past.

"I learned to block some of the noise," she wrote in Elle. "Social media can be great, but it can also inundate your brain with images of what you aren't, how you're failing, or who is in a cooler locale than you at any given moment. One thing I do to lessen this weird insecurity laser beam is to turn off comments...I'm also blocking out anyone who might feel the need to tell me to 'go die in a hole ho' while I'm having my coffee at nine in the morning. I think it's healthy for your self-esteem to need less internet praise to appease it, especially when three comments down you could unwittingly see someone telling you that you look like a weasel that got hit by a truck and stitched back together by a drunk taxidermist. An actual comment I received once."

As for those in real life who are bringing her strife—like, say, Braun and Borchetta, currently—she's got a plan for dealing with that, as well.

"Banish the drama. You only have so much room in your life and so much energy to give to those in it," she wrote. "Be discerning. If someone in your life is hurting you, draining you, or causing you pain in a way that feels unresolvable, blocking their number isn't cruel. It's just a simple setting on your phone that will eliminate drama if you so choose to use it."

In other words, put quite simply, she's learned how to shake it off.

E! News

#taylor swift #2019.07.02 #scooter braun is a piece of shit

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im-fairly-whitty · 5 years

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:0 I thought I was the only one who liked Hans! I see so many people hating on him and I always have this quiet "I like him o,o'...."

YOU ARE NOT ALONE FRIEND

He’s really such a sweetheart who was done so dirty by the production crew, it’s so easy to see how badly his character’s arc was manhandled off track and it’s painful.

Not only does he have a love at first sight moment, a lovable animal companion, and a tragic backstory that he’s worked hard to overcome, but he’s actually incredibly capable and kind and thoughtful for the entire movie until he just…isn’t. For literally no reason other than unskilled plot doctoring.

As the youngest of thirteen Hans not only has endured an intense amount of hazing and bullying (pretending your sibling doesn't exist for an hour is normal, pretending they don’t exist for a week is not) but he’s come out on the other side far more socially adept than Anna (who was only ignored by one sibling).

He’s put together, well groomed, well spoken, friendly and kind and courteous. Not to mention that when he arrives in Arendale he is so love-starved that he falls head over heels for Anna in the exact same way that a dozen movie princes have over the years. The difference is that they actually have real chemistry, real political reason to be married (both being the youngest of a dysfunctional royal family) and have shared childhood trauma that put them both in a place of needing someone who literally even sees them and cares about them as a person.

I’m not saying that it was necessarily a good thing for them to try and get married immediately, but it was very believable given their shared trauma and socio-political standing.

Then once Elsa has an anxiety attack and books it for literally no reason, leaving her own court in a panic, it’s Hans that steps up to support Anna in barking down the Duke of Weselton to put him (diplomatically) in his place. He steps into the role of leader flawlessly even though his own experience of leading must have been limited due to his intensely overshadowed upbringing, but he rises to the occasion, organizing welfare and disaster relief efforts and holding down the fort at his pseudo-fiancee’s request.

When he later is in Elsa’s tantrum palace he deliberately tries to keep her safe, trying to talk her down instead of charging her like some of the other diplomats.

If it was really in his character to be the villain then he would have been much more manipulative around Anna during the party, would have pushed much harder against Elsa’s refusal, would have helped whip the crowd into a frenzy at her display like the Duke of Weselton, would have started digging his claws into the kingdom as soon as Anna left him in charge, and certainly would have tried to kill Elsa in her ice palace while she was vulnerable and outnumbered since she was clearly and obstacle in his way.

BUT HE DIDNT.

HE DIDNT DO ANY OF THAT.

If he had done any of that it would have made sense when he suddenly did a 180 to “surprise! I was the bad guy all along muahaha!!” But he didn’t. Not only is he the perfect royal gentlemen around Anna and the court, but he even acts kind and thoughtful and brave when none of the other characters are around.

His villainous reveal when he suddenly spurns Anna is surprising, but the reason it’s so surprising is because it’s not a plot twist, it’s a character break. It’s unexpected because the rest of the story has absolutely nothing to do with or support this sudden catastrophic break in character, meaning that it’s not the magician’s reveal that leaves the viewer gasping with awe.

It’s bad writing.

After he abandons Anna to freeze to death (which doesn’t make sense either, it would have been much smarter to try and help her and at the very least keep her around to be able to eventually produce legitimate heirs to the throne instead of monologuing for literally no reason) his character is completely different, suddenly becoming a hand rubbing mustache-twirling baddie with no believable build up or motivation that doesn’t feel two dimensional.

All so that the real villain of the movie could be rebranded to a sniffly anxiety-ridden hikikomori who uses gloves as a security blanket and still seems to care about and love her sister for some reason despite having deliberately not even spoken to her at all in over a decade despite living in the same castle.

(I mean seriously, if you think about it the real magic of being a Disney princess is having even a shred of social skills after being trapped in social isolation for the majority of your life.)

TL;DR - Hans was a perfectly lovely character who got backed over by the rebranding semi truck and deserved better, he’s a completely separate character on either side of the “plot twist” scene with no logical character development. He could have been played off as a villain if his character portrayal has been written better but they ended up depriving him even of that, leaving his arc flat and confusing and out of character.

And instead we were given a fairly useless victim of childhood troll abduction who gets one ukelele solo and a new sled in exchange for sassing Anna the whole movie and deciding to marry her after one day, literally hours after lecturing her for being ready to do the same with another man. He doesn’t even do anything in plot, not even managing a true loves kiss, reducing his character potential to Anna’s one-star uber driver up the mountain to her sister’s ice cube condo.

All these characters deserved better arcs and better writing, and there are good things in the movie, but the blatant manhandling of Han’s character is terrible writing that I will be salty about for approximately ever.

#hans #frozen #anna #elsa #kristoff #meta #i have nothing against the characters in story #but from a story telling perspective this movie is a mess

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cinephiles-delight · 6 years

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Guilt, Grief, and the Inescapable Nature of Family in “Hereditary”

Before today, I had never known what it feels like to sit staring at a movie screen with a gaping jaw for two hours straight, locked in a permanent state of complete shock and amazement. Today I had the privilege to watch Hereditary in theaters, and it is not an understatement to say that this movie will become known as “this generation’s The Exorcist”. I have never before seen a film so seamlessly blend painfully beautiful family drama with a truly grotesque and devilish horror story. For me, the film breaks down into those two basic elements–the horror plot and the family plot–and quite possibly the most amazing feat that Ari Aster accomplishes in this film is that not only is neither plot dominant or more interesting, neither plot works without the other. Horror is the vehicle Aster uses to tell the story of a family that falls apart at the seams when besieged by the forces of grief, guilt, and hereditary insanity, and it is the vehicle by which he gives the audience a truly terrifying, personal, and heartbreaking film.

One of the most prominent themes in the film is guilt and the transference of guilt. We are introduced to this theme explicitly when Annie goes to grief counseling for the first time, and she, in a tearful confession, declares that she feels guilty for “all of it”. Annie expounds on this rather cryptic confession later in the nightmare/sleepwalking sequence when has an imagined conversation with her son, Peter. In her dream, Annie screams at Peter that she never wanted him in the first place, that it was her grandmother’s idea to have him, and that she tried to have a miscarriage to prevent his birth. The fact that this comes out only in Annie’s dream, her moment of psychological vulnerability, represents just how deeply she represses her guilt in relation to her son, and how much she fears having to accept the reality of her own actions. The “reality of her actions” also includes trying to set fire to her daughter and son using paint thinner and a box of matches during a sleepwalking episode, something Annie laments doing while conversing with Joan, saying that she fears she can never win back her son’s trust. Annie’s guilt, and her avoidance of it–think about the dinner table scene in which she rants about no one accepting blame, to which Peter responds by pointing out her own blame that she vehemently denies/represses–acts as the driving engine for the family drama story, but she is far from the only character who must struggle with feelings of remorse and helplessness.

Probably the most tragic victim of psychological scars is Peter himself, who must cope with the knowledge that he was directly responsible (on several levels) for his sister’s death. Peter’s speeding, inattention to the road, letting Charlie roam the party on her own, not bringing her epi-pen, smoking weed while ignoring Charlie, etc. all contributed to her death and were all Peter’s fault, something Charlie’s ghost will not soon let him forget. Peter is haunted by visions of Charlie, appearing in his room, and in one scene her head even falls off, rolling towards him across the room as it turns into a toy ball. Peter is literally being haunted by the consequences of his actions. Later, as Peter is smoking marijuana under the bleachers at school, he begins to have a serious allergic reaction in which his throat swells and he struggles to breath. The audience will immediately recognize this as strange, because for one thing we have seen Peter smoking weed before with no ill effects, and for another as the reaction reaches its climax he begins to weep and asks his friend to “hold his hand”. This suggests that (barring any supernatural explanations), Peter’s reaction was a physical manifestation of his own feelings of guilt in relation to Charlie’s death. Here, the manifestation of his grief is an allergic reaction to marijuana because those are the two contributing factors that Peter links most closely with his culpability in Charlie’s death: his leaving her alone and allowing her to eat the cake with nuts in it, and his driving while high on marijuana. The fact that Peter collapses in an hysterical fit as he has the reaction further lends weight to the idea that it is a direct consequence of his emotional distress. (Side note: another interesting break in Peter’s psyche occurs when he sees his own reflection in a closet door smiling back at him in class one day. The “real” Peter is frowning, while the reflected Peter–the one everyone else sees–is smiling: a visual representation of Peter concealing his own grief and guilt.)

Finally, and maybe most importantly, both Peter and Annie’s guilt are the driving forces behind the father’s distress throughout the film, and through his character the audience is offered a perspective from which to view the events of the film removed from any supernatural elements. The husband is a skeptic, and any time that we are given a glimpse into his point of view we are allowed to see the effect Annie’s erratic behavior and Peter’s descent into hysterics have on a normal person removed from the horror elements of this movie. This is because, as the story progresses, and Annie descends deeper into her own madness and exasperation, her husband is the one who must bear the brunt of its most immediate consequences. He is resigned to watch helplessly as his wife, in a desperate attempt to alleviate the pain of her grief, resorts to bizarre and insane occult rituals, dragging innocent Peter into her madness in the process. For example, in the scene where Annie attempts to conjure the spirit of Charlie in the presence of Peter and his father, the father is forced to watch his son grow increasingly terrified and emotionally hysterical as his mother talks about crazy cult ideas and begins to speak in a vocal imitation of his dead sister. Not only does this incident throw Peter into a fit of convulsive sob-screams, it breaks the father’s heart as we watch him helplessly bear witness to not only his wife seemingly losing her mind, but also witness his son’s psyche torn apart in the process. As the movie goes on, and he receives more and more frequent calls from Peter’s school reporting erratic and emotionally unstable behavior from Peter, the father begins to lose the last shred of self-restraint he has left with regards to his wife and her neurosis’ influence on the family. His ultimate frustration and anger is shown to the audience in the quiet and restrained image of him pulling into the driveway, having picked up Peter from school after an episode resulting in a broken nose, and completely ignoring the shouts of his wife at the car window, pounding and trying to get his attention as he simply drives on by. Finally, after spending the entire first act and most of the second act being consumed by the roaring inferno of his family’s dysfunction, the father’s character arc comes to an end in spectacular and symbolic fashion: as Annie tosses Charlie’s journal into the fireplace he spontaneously bursts into flames, burnt alive on the spot. The father ends his journey in this film as he spent most of it: being consumed in the flames produced by the disintegration of his family.

This leads me to the film’s most obvious, and probably most important, theme: the inescapable nature of family. The audience begins to notice, that in this movie the most terrifying place to be is, in fact, in the home (and not just because of the scary, naked, old people)–I’m borrowing that phrase from another critic. The dread that accompanies the image of the home is a product of its association with what lies within it: family. Homes represents our ties to the past, our ancestors, and the vestiges of our parents and grandparents. Homes are where the most tragic dramas are acted out by unwitting players just trying their hardest to make a family work. Home represents for Peter the battlefield on which were fought all the altercations with his mother, it represents the presence of a combative, possibly psychotic mother who once tried to murder him. For the father home represents being trapped with his wife and her delirium. And for the mother, home represents the place that once was inhabited by her beloved Charlie, and that is still inhabited by the insidious influences of a manipulative mother. Images of homes pop up all over the place in this film; whether it be the very stately treehouse, the several dioramas displayed in the family room, or the miniature house being constructed in Annie’s workshop, the motif of the house plays an important role in this film. The images remind us of the associations I listed above, and the repeated image of the miniature house harkens back to the idea of the home being a place of oppressive familial claustrophobia. Specifically, there is one display right near the entrance to the real house that features a small home on a plot of land on top of a tower of dirt in which are embedded several more miniature houses.

In my opinion, this display is a symbol for the central theme of the film as a whole, and the one that is featured in the title: hereditary traits and what we receive from our parents and grandparents. Just like how the house on top of the patch of land could not have been built without the several houses buried beneath its foundation, no member of the family in Hereditary–and indeed, no family member ever–can exist completely independent from the quirks, idiosyncrasies, and little insanities of their parents and relatives. People are irrevocably shaped by their experiences in the home, and the most significant shapers of a person’s psyche are most always their mother and father (take Norma Bates from Psycho, for example). In Hereditary, several characters are doomed to their fates by the actions of their forebears, especially Charlie, Peter, and Annie. Charlie and Peter both fall victim to the satanic plots of their grandmother, groomed from before birth to be the human hosts of a biblical, hellish entity. This idea of being destined to some predetermined fate is explicitly hinted at towards the beginning of the film, when Peter’s literature teacher tells the class the story of Pericles going to the Oracle and having his tragic fate pronounced. The teacher posits: “Does it make it more tragic, then, to know that no matter what he does, he cannot change the ending?” (paraphrasing, of course). This idea applies most topically to the horror plot of Hereditary, since it is obviously reflective of the set-in-stone nature of the events that unfold according to the sinister machinations of Annie’s mother and her cult, but it also applies to the family plot as well. To some degree, Annie’s susceptibility to emotional distress and extreme, hysterical behavior is a direct result of the mental health issues of her family. In one of the grief counseling sessions we learn that Annie’s father died by starving himself to death during a severe bout of depression, and her schizophrenic brother hung himself in his mother’s bedroom, blaming his mother for “putting people in his head”. (An interesting observation about that line: Annie prefaces that by saying that her brother “of course, blamed his mother”, suggestive of her own feelings of regret and guilt towards her son’s distrust of her) These psychologically traumatic childhood events shaped Annie into the women we see in Hereditary, and her inability to cope appropriately or effectively with the violent death of her daughter most likely stems directly from those defining childhood moments. The emotional constipation exhibited by Annie is part of what makes her such easy prey for both the spirits of Charlie and Paimon to possess, and what makes her such an easy target for Joan to lure into the world of occultism and spiritualism. In these examples we see how the characters of Hereditary are haunted not only by the spirits of dead relatives and the 10th Prince of Hell, but more poignantly by the specters of grief, guilt, and the painful legacies left by those that came before them.

#movie review #movies #Movie Reviews #review #critique #analysis #hereditary #ari aster #horror #horror movies #family #essay

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justjensenanddean · 6 years

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When I worked on Dark Angel I created a character, one of Max's missing siblings, who as a child was the mythmaker of the group. He kept them from losing faith in themselves by telling stories in the darkness of the dormitory, stories with heroes and spirits and demons, and now that Max is all grown up and the group is scattered and in hiding, she finds that people are being murdered according to the mythological details of those childhood stories. Her beloved storyteller has grown into a serial killer. This was a tough role to cast. You needed someone you could believe was a genetically engineered human; who could, when necessary, radiate both intelligence and menace; who could be scary one minute, and who could give you a lump in the throat the next from his sheer vulnerability when he admits to Max that he's broken and begs her to kill him. I sat in casting as actor after actor came in. It was one of those evenings when you listen to the words of the script and wonder how they can sound this horrifyingly bad -- dear god, am I truly that wretched a writer? Then Mr. Ackles walked in. The first scene involved his character sitting handcuffed as he tries to convince Max to let him go. It was tonally challenging, because although he's cuffed, you have to have the impression he's extremely dangerous -- that in fact just listening to him is dangerous because he'll screw with you psychologically. "Mind if I sit on the floor?" he asked calmly, in the voice of one who's worked it all out ahead of time. He put his arms behind his back, did that scene, and wow. Young Hannibal Lecter, hello! Then he did the death scene, made my eyes tear up, walked calmly out, and we looked at each other. This was exactly the character I'd envisioned. It was clear to me that if anybody else got this role, I would have to commit ritual suicide. Fortunately everyone else wanted him -- except one highly placed producer. Now, although Hollywood as an entity has issues with women, my personal experience on writing staffs has been almost uniformly positive. This producer happened to be an extremely rare exception -- and it's not that he was in any way meanspirited; he was a perfectly nice guy, kind and gentle, but sometimes your head snapped back just listening to him. He was upset by the fact that the people in casting that night had been mostly women; that we all liked Jensen Ackles; and that he was a good-looking actor. Because, clearly, that must be what was influencing us. "Something very disturbing was going on in that room," he insisted. Leaving his opinion of our emotionality aside, I asked what his issues were with Ackles -- hadn't that been a terrific reading? He admitted the reading was fine, but -- "He doesn't have muscles." "What?" "He doesn't have muscles, he doesn't look like a soldier. If he was genetically designed to be a soldier, wouldn't they make him strong?" My head spun for a moment. I said, "Our heroine is Jessica Alba." And yes, she'd worked out pretty hard for this role, but she was still a slender-looking, gorgeous young woman, who was usually shorter and much lighter than the men we regularly showed her throwing around with such abandon. I said, "Clearly whatever genetic manipulation was going on involves strength that's not determined by the sheer volume of the muscle." I'd reached this conclusion the moment I saw the pilot, and thought it was unarguable, given what we'd been portraying on screen for the past season. But he had a reply to that: "She's a girl," he said -- clearly bewildered that I would even bring this up. Sigh. But the angels smiled for a moment, Jensen Ackles got the role, and though my script was rewritten it did still retain a certain amount of what I'd been going for. The direction was tight, the acting full-throttle, and the episode was so well-received that the series was sold for a second year on the idea of "more like this!" I, however, had moved on to Smallville the following year. There, we discussed casting for one of the early guest roles. "Jensen Ackles!" I said. The executive producers went away, returned, and I was told with compassion, "I'm sorry, Doris. He's just been booked for the year." "Really? Where?" "Dark Angel." Yes. The producer who'd been so opposed to him? After seeing his work in that episode, he hired Jensen as a regular. And apparently he also made him bulk up -- because boys need muscle. I said, "But we killed him!" "He's back as a clone." Damn you, science fiction, and your wicked genre ways! Someday, Jensen Ackles, I muttered. Time passed and I found myself on the second season of Tru Calling. We had a character, a medical student, whom we first meet as a sort of golden boy -- a nice guy, funny, the sort who tries to do the right thing. Brilliant, but with some self-esteem issues that have kept him from his full potential. Tru and he become friends, and as time passes, they start to become more deeply involved. Then, partway through the season, he dies; and Tru, who's had enough of death, resolves to stay awake until someone somewhere asks for help and her day rewinds -- thereby allowing her to save Jensen as well. (Yes, shockingly, he ended up with the name Jensen. I think it was my sheer repetition doing subconscious work.) I'm going to quote here from an earlier post: ============== But Jensen's soul is already committed -- it can't return, but his body, memories, and the habits of his personality continue after the time he "died." The idea was that over the course of the arc we would gradually see anomalies of character develop -- unsettling moments, as the imprint of Jensen's personality disintegrates, at the same time it becomes fascinated with death, in an almost wistful way. This would be pretty damned creepy, coming as it does alongside Tru's growing physical intimacy with him. Jane Espenson wrote a beautifully disturbing scene that I'm sorry you'll never get a chance to see -- on one level, it's just Tru and Jensen talking on the sofa during a movie, and on another level, oooooh. As the arc plays out, we hear the jarring comments he'll occasionally make, the way the things that used to mean something to him -- like his need for his father's respect -- are just no longer vulnerabilities. We see scenes that suggest a growing involvement with violence, in an unsettling but ambiguous way, so Tru can't be sure it's there or not. Till one morning Tru wakes in bed with Jensen and goes about her day, which rewinds over the murder of Jensen's father. Just before the rewind she learns that not only did Jensen do it, he's been behind a string of recent killings (born of his fascination with learning about the thing he's apparently been barred from -- i.e., death). She rewinds -- and wakes up in bed next to him, knowing now that he's a monster. And that she created him. This was once a young man who won her with his generosity and understanding, his good humor and sweetness. He's still bright, he's still clever, there's no evidence against him. And he'll be creating a lot more victims, starting on this rewind day with his father -- unless she takes the responsibility for putting an end to him. So she finally turns to the person with experience in ending people's lives: Jack. =============== Now, obviously this was going to be the kind of role where you can't count on a pretty face to pull you through. (And sometimes there's pressure to go with a pretty face, even when the necessary screen power is not behind it. This doesn't make sense, because it means the audience will never spark to that role the way they should, but sometimes executives think the fact they can promote the show using a particular actor's name makes up for that. The unfortunate truth that you can get people to watch once, just long enough to drive them away permanently if the goods aren't there, doesn't always sway the decisionmakers.) We needed someone who could say long words as though they know what those words mean -- and I'm not being sarcastic here; that's harder than you think. But someone who could also be funny. And sweet. And boy-next-door. Oh, and also turn on a dime and scare the beejeezus out of you. "Jensen Ackles!" I said, pretty much every time the subject of casting came up. But the process ground on a bit slower than we anticipated, and one day I was informed -- again, with compassion -- "We're too late; he's booked elsewhere." I asked where. "Smallville," they said.Smallville? Those bastards, how dare they listen to me? Who told them to respect my opinion? This was clearly my fate -- to make so much noise about Jensen Ackles at any show I'm on that they'll grab him first chance they get, which will inevitably be when I'm at my next show trying to get him. One of the writers, hearing this news, turned to me and asked, "Are you solely responsible for this guy's career?" The answer to that would be no. Clearly he doesn't need my help, but you have to admit that the aura of Ackles doom I bring to each production is amusing, at least. At the time I said to myself, sour-grapes fashion, "Well, I hope that Smallville role is as interesting and layered as this one will be," and went on with life. As it turned out, we were fortunate at Tru. Eric Christian Olsen took on the role, and it was clear from the very first look at his reel that we were in safe hands. (In fact, when I first saw his work I had that sense of awe I always feel in the presence of good acting, because it is so very much something I cannot do. Really, I have no idea what button actors push to suddenly convey, "This is real," but I know it when I see it, the way Robert Graves says you know a true poem when you hear one. Recently I was talking with a medical consultant and mentioned that I'd just come out of a read-through of a script. "It's always cool to hear the script at a read-through," I said. "Why?" he asked. I was surprised at the question. "Because they do that magic actor thing," I said. Why else?) In any case, I'm sorry you never got to see the character's turnaround, because I have no doubt he would have been compelling. And as it turns out, since the show was cancelled mid-season, maybe Smallville was the better bet after all. And now I'm at House, and surrounded by such talent that it would be the height of ungraciousness to do more than note that Mr. Ackles has a show of his own this coming season. And while it's not mine, I'm forced to admit that that might not stop it from being, well... good.

[ Doris Egan, Posted on 2005.08.18 ]

#Jensen Ackles #Dark Angel #X5 493 #Pollo Loco #Jensen's Acting #Jensen Love #Ben #*#this is really nice #<3

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mordellestories · 6 years

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The Graveyard Debacle

(a Beetlejuice drabble)

by Mordelle & edited by TheArtofSuicide

It is safe to say that pranks are hardly ever any fun for the one being pranked. The argument could be made that this why they’re so funny. The longer the victim of a prank is wound up over the jest, the more hilarious it is. Even more so when there are witnesses. The more the merrier. When the prankster is a poltergeist, however, there are hysterical pros as well as unfortunate cons. For example, there is nothing a ghost who has mastered the manipulation of physical matter can’t accomplish. However, it is almost impossible to take credit for any high jinks unless breathers can see or hear you. It is for this reason that Betelgeuse took to harassing Lydia’s parents primarily.

Delia, although a bit trickier to startle than initially anticipated, would scream so incredibly loud and shrill that it was comparable to nails on a chalkboard. That grew old. Quick. The Maitlands were prone to retaliation- at least Barbra was- and the wicked ghoul knew better than to mess with that sandworm lovin’ bitch. Adam’s reactions were pedestrian, barely worth his time. Lydia, however, was a perfect target. Most of the time, he could hardly get a twitch out of her, which made those times that he was able to scare the unholy hell out of her absolutely delicious.

Betelgeuse usually upped his game in October. The closer to Halloween, the dirtier his tricks became. Every year it became harder and harder to achieve success with his little stoic lover. This time of year inspired something strong and resilient in her, but that never stopped him from trying. Last year's brilliant plan managed to draw some terrified screams from her. The evil bastard had feigned an exorcism, putting on a great show too. Fading from sight, mouthing silent pleas and professions of love as his poor dark-haired saint cried and sobbed from utter fear and grief. This earned him an entire month’s banishment. Betelgeuse would not be trying anything like that again. No, tonight he would stick to a practical plan and go for surprise rather than trauma factor.

Lydia had mentioned something about buying feminine products at the pharmacy and maybe taking some pictures on the way back. There was no way he would follow her to get her intimate unmentionables and she knew that. It was perfect. He knew he could catch her unawares on the way back home and he would bet his afterlife that she would go through the cemetery. And so, there is where Betelgeuse lied in wait; non-corporeal, sleazing around the graveyard with a perfect vantage point from his position in a bushy tree. It took a while, but his patience was rewarded when the sound of a bicycle on gravel ground its way through the dirt path she always took.

He knew he couldn’t get too close or she would sense him so. He refrained from movement and kept his stare slightly askance on the off chance she might feel his gaze. Excitement bubbled within when he noticed her stop and dismount. The bike fell to the ground and Lydia crouched hurriedly to retrieve a plastic bag from the basket. Something was off.

For one thing, Betelgeuse knew she would never treat her delicate vintage so callously. She was always careful with it, treating it like a sentient being with feelings. It was also odd how frantically she tore the bag apart. Curiosity piqued, the ghost put his plans aside in order to see what had his demure lover in such a state. When Lydia finally stood, she had a small box in one hand and what appeared to be a folded up piece of paper in the other.

What are you up to, babe, the creeper wondered, unable to discern too much from where he was hiding. In seconds, Lydia was unfolding the paper until it completely obscured her face. That was a big instruction manual for something that came in such a tiny box. The plot thickened when his lover dropped the paper to the ground, revealing her worried face and heaving shoulders. Betelgeuse swore to himself when she disappeared into the woods with the evidence, leaving him to sit and wait for her return.

Only a few minutes before Lydia emerged from the thicket, anxiously approaching a tall gravestone. She dropped the paper and the box to the ground, very gently laid a small white stick on the head of the stone, and checked her watch. She started to pace in front the grave with her arms crossed over her midsection, muttering under her breath, but it was not until she sobbed aloud that everything finally clicked for the Ghost with the Most.

Holy fuckin’ shit , he thought as his eyes widened in surprise. Is she… pregnant?! His mind raced with other excuses and possibilities but always returned to the same obvious conclusion. Lydia thought she might be pregnant. That thing lying so innocently on the gravestone was a goddamn pregnancy test! It was impossible to decipher which intense feeling came first for the poltergeist. At one point he had settled on something close to adoration for the woman until he realized very suddenly and horrifically that he… could not be the father.

It was not often that Betelgeuse experienced anything close to feeling sick, but in this moment, he had the distinctive urge to vomit as his dead heart plummeted into his gut.

No, he reeled, no, she couldn’t… would never… A familiar sensation started to crawl up his spine and into his muddled brain. Rage. A snake of jealousy slithered through his mind in the form of visions of his beautiful, innocent soulmate in the arms of another. Blinding hatred began to boil his long-drained blood when he imagined her face touched with pleasure as she writhed beneath another man. A man . A mortal, living, breathing, man. That thought, which should have only fueled his fury, diminished it into utter despair.

This is where he would always fail. This is where he was lacking. The subject of his inability to procreate was a topic which he always expertly avoided when she tried to bring it up in the past. Now the colossal problem was biting him in the ass in the shittiest, most epic way possible. How could he blame her for betraying him? She had been so young when he had attached himself to her, his greed and ego stealing away any kind of normalcy from her promising life. Still, this truth did nothing to quell his aching fucking heart. He wanted to cry, rip into his chest, throw himself at her feet and demand to know why she had done this to him. Why she couldn’t have just told him she’d grown bored of him, didn’t love him anymore, wanted to live her life . Unless, he thought with a sliver of hope, she was just experimentin’. That was something he could understand. He would still be incredibly pissed and feel a pressing need to extract some form of revenge but ... a young woman, hormonal, wanting to experiment before making her final choice? Hell, he had experimented plenty when he was alive and even more so when he was dead! Who was he to deny that to her, the woman he loved more than anything on any plane of existence? So long as she chose him in the end. He had been around long enough to know that she was the only one for him. All he needed to do was convince her that he was the only one for her! It would not take him six hundred years to do that. Oh, no sir! All he needed to do was up his ante and decimate the breather that dared touch what was undoubtedly his. But first… first, Betelgeuse needed to know what in the flying fuck that test was going to read.

If ghosts could sweat, he would have been soaking through his clothes. Still frozen up in the tree, Betelgeuse waited on unnecessarily bated breath while Lydia checked her watch for the zillionth time, nearly exhuming the unfortunate corpse beneath her incessant pacing. How long had it been? A minute? Ten seconds? An eternity? Jesus fuckin’ Christ on crutches! How long do these fuckin’ things take?!

Finally, Lydia launched herself at the test and hovered over it. Rooted to the ground, wide-eyed with flared nostrils, she let out a breath and squeaked…

“Oh no.”

Oh no, his inner voice mimicked. Oh god, no.

“What the fuck,” she breathed, barely a whisper. “Oh my god. What the fuck?!” She yelled, frenzy taking over.

“YEAH, WHAT THE FUCK?!” Betelgeuse bellowed back, no longer able to keep his composure.

Upon sighting him, Lydia whitened to a ghostly shade that he didn't know she was capable of producing. He dropped from the tree and physically charged right for her, not bothering with manifestation. Instinctively, the adulteress backpedaled and cowered before him as he lunged for the damning white stick. Lydia brought her hands behind her back, denying him access to the answer he needed to see with his own eyes.

“GIVE THAT FUCKIN’ THING OVER RIGHT-THE-FUCK NOW, LYDIA or I- swear -on-ma-own-goddamn GRAVE IN WALES! IMMA FIND THE PRICK WHO KNOCKED YOU UP, and make sure he ends up in that forsaken waitin’ room WITH HIS OWN COCK DOWN HIS THROAT!!”

A small sob escaped her as she collapsed at his feet. The pregnancy test was offered up with trembling hands. He ripped it out of her grasp and brought it close to his face, eyes hungry and full of wrath only to find black letters scribbled across it in dark permanent marker…

GOTCHA

Frigid and expressionless, he stared unblinkingly at the offending piece of plastic. How long he stood there was a mystery but when he finally heard a click and a puff , his eyes slowly met his wife’s. Lydia was leaning casually against the gravestone, smoking a cigarette, face blank, giving nothing away. For a long moment they stared at one another, both unspeaking. Then, she stubbed out the cherry without once breaking eye contact and, very suavely, picked up her bike and walked away. When she reached the threshold of the cemetery gates, she gazed over her shoulder, right at him. The slightest of smirks twitched at the corner of her evil little mouth before she mounted her bike and pedaled away.

The comical, dumbfounded look etched into his features morphed into relief before settling onto one of pure awe. They were definitely made for each other. Of that, Betelgeuse was certain.

If you liked this drabble, you might like my longer fic of the same fandom. Read it here.

#Beetlejuice #beetlejuice fanfic #drabble #Beetlejuice x Lydia #lydia deetz #otp prompts #halloween prompts #fanfic #short story #mordelle #mordelle stories #neither here nor there

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wlwkiryuu · 6 years

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nanami is a closeted lesbian

this was a theory of mine i used to have just minor evidence for, but after i tried to search up that evidence to compile i realized i actually have a LOT more than i bargained for! so heres ALL the evidence i have so far under the cut :’)

(also please note that i am adding my own personal experiences as a lesbian to this to derive this headcanon, so as they say: your mileage may vary! this is just for fun although i certainly wouldn’t put it past ikuhara + the producers of the show to hint that nanami isn’t straight.)

OK first off nanami seems to have a crush on miki waaayyy back in the sunlit garden prelude, when he's first introduced. but then she gets jealous when it turns out he’s too busy crushing on anthy.

she then decides to do everything she can in that one episode (snails. garter snake. octopus. you know the one) to get anthy out of the picture,

but then eventually it turns into her getting obsessed with utena and anthy themselves rather than getting them out of the way between her and miki.

compare nanami trying to humiliate anthy in front of miki vs her trying to ardently spy on utena and anthy to the point where she knows their schedules in order to sneak that curry into their class. it’s because of her own personal vendetta against them at this point. and THEN compare THAT to nanami trying to warn utena about akio in season 3 near the series finale even though there was literally nothing that required her to do that.

what's even more interesting is that nanami’s repeatedly been said to be one who never gets her own hands dirty when she’s up to no good; and yet in regards to utena and anthy?

she’s DEFINITELY more than willing to get her hands dirty. these two are just that special enough for her to be worthy of her attention.

(and even after touga is out of the picture—that is, once he’s basically revealed himself as the manipulative asshole that he was towards his sister all along—utena’s still deemed worthy of attention by nanami, who goes so far as to warn her about akio, which is...hmm! interesting!)

and what's even more worth mentioning on top of this is that whenever nanami humiliates someone? she usually succeeds in it! a prime example would be keiko in her black rose episode. even at the end, she just comes crawling back to nanami. but utena and anthy...they really end up testing nanami to the bone. and of course, that’s what makes their dynamics with nanami so interesting!

but more on that later. the main point here is that this is one of the first (if not the first) times nanami’s bullying has ended up hurting her rather than her victims. and it consequently opens up nanami’s eyes. she begins to regard these girls in a whole other way, on her own footing. which is kind of a major step in her making tensions with her brother reach a peak, until the season 3 arc comes crashing down on her. this makes her eventually realize she will never be able to see touga in/be with touga in the same way ever again, causing her to resolve to cut ties with one of the only men she has a eminent relationship with.

buuut back to the miki episode. notice nanami’s word choice when she praises miki! pride of the school. almost like she's inclined to like/settle for miki because of this, because she considers herself a pride of the school as well. she focuses more on his status and supposed superiority than anything; that’s the kind of thing nanami’s after/the kind of status she thinks makes her better than others as well. and you know who else she/the rest of the student body considers a pride of the school...?

yep! this asshole! and obviously she can't fulfill being loved that way with her brother bc a) she’s explicitly screamed and shoved him away when he tried to make an advance on her because she knows that kind of relationship is not right and b) her devotion to him to the point where she completely ignores other guys is a product of her idealization of men + compulsory heterosexuality.

(for clarification: touga is saying the top half after nanami pushes him away when he tries to advance on her, and nanami is saying the bottom half).

and here we have obvious proof that nanami does NOT want him as a partner and NEVER wanted him like that all along. so what am i trying to get at here? that she KNOWS touga kiryuu is unattainable. a significant aspect of compulsory heterosexuality is getting crushes on/idolizing guys who are idealized/unattainable. you can't get the guy anyways, so it's both “proof” that you're straight, and no one can say you never acted on that “crush” because getting that guy is impossible anyways.

this matches the theme in revolutionary girl utena surrounding the generalization/idealization of men by women forced into compulsory hetereosexuality perfectly (i mean miki’s literally called a “prince” because he has all these “ideal” noble qualities: rich, kind, good-looking, honest, talented, good grades/prodigy) and honestly provides a great parallel to utena and her “prince” (i say “prince” and not simply akio because touga toys with this idea as well in order to make utena lose her duel with him in episode 11!)

you know that scene where anthy’s wearing the dress nanami gave her and she watches it get wet and tear away at anthy’s clothes? you know, the classic introductory oh shit, nanami’s actually a huge asshole moment?

yeah, so upon rewatching that scene i realized the entire scene PLUS the part where utena rescues anthy and starts dancing with her is cut in between in various places by nanami’s commentary:

so its safe to say this whole scene is from nanami’s point of view.

...yeah. NANAMI’S point of view. and its ALSO worth mentioning that this is the first time nanami’s ever seen or heard of utena at all. thus begins our closeted disaster femme icon’s first taste of lesbianism.

oh and of course, the iconic scene from nanami’s egg where this happens.

ok WOW lots of good stuff here. yes, on the surface level, of course, the specific moment in context is where nanami confuses preferring to have a girl as a child to preferring girls romantically. but then again, it’s not like nanami actually laid an egg. revolutionary girl utena’s metaphor soup! there’s more to things than just face value.

what i’ve seen as the most universally accepted interpretation of this episode is that it’s about puberty, and specifically, the taboos involving menstruation. and of course, this completely makes sense! egg motif? check. tsuwabuki literally mentioning that nanami has to attend a health class? check. the episode starting out with a dream where nanami is a child, then paralleled throughout the rest of the episode with current, teenager nanami? check. touga talking about “eggs” disparagingly? check. the episode is about puberty, maturation of feelings, and adolescence, meaning that discussing sexuality is really not too far of a stretch in an episode that pretty much covers puberty in general! it totally matches the whole “coming of age” theme in both this episode AND the series (albeit it’s done in more serious undertones in the non-nanami bits of the show).

and you know what’s even more interesting? when touga hints that nanami liking girls is wrong, she doesn’t immediately jump to the fact that she likes guys as her defense. rather, she jumps to her specifically loving touga as her defense. and as i pointed out earlier, she knows she doesn’t want touga romantically. miki whom?

not to mention this gem:

...yeah. nanami’s first time seeing the “eggs” in question being put to use is by guys, and she’s visibly disgusted/horrified by it. not subtle at ALL, ikuhara.

and what’s MORE that i realized just from this one iconic episode? the alien motif.

ah, nanami’s incredibly absurd imagine spots. gotta love those! and they all fit a particular theme: alienation. and it’s honestly really odd to think about how nanami has this constant fear of alienation throughout this episode (and arguably throughout the series); she’s rich, popular, and consequently has the whole student body in the palm of her hand. and yet she STILL believes she’s not normal. really kind of parallels being closeted/”hiding something,” doesn’t it? and it’s cleverly referred to again upon nanami’s big arc in season 3, when her entire world comes crashing down as she believes her and touga aren’t actually siblings.

(the scene in question is right when keiko slaps nanami because she tells touga that “he shouldn’t go out with a girl like her [keiko].”)

ostracism/fear of ostracism seems to be a popular theme for nanami throughout the series.

so in this episode, nanami soon transitions from imagining being alienated to being behind her peers instead.

it’s constantly established that nanami only has eyes for her brother; the “only one she loves” is him. she’s never shown interest for any other guy, which is paralleled especially well in keiko’s black rose episode; nanami’s vicious attitude towards keiko manifests because keiko turns out to have eyes for the only one nanami has eyes for.

keiko’s the one acting “normally”; nanami’s the one seen as overtly possessive.

and, of course, knowing the nature of nanami’s character, her idolization of her brother is painted to such absurd extremes that she essentially shows she absolutely refuses to find another relationship. she’s in a “fairy-tale world”; she refuses to grow up, which even her brother admits at times.

another common aspect among closeted lesbians is the feeling that we’re “late bloomers” for failing to find any sort of interest in men. and so, thus, the line mentioned earlier that describes nanami’s fear, “being late compared to most people,” could very easily fit into this context.

and regarding tsuwabuki? yeah, this just sums it up perfectly.

miki’s so brutal in this episode, i love him. brutal but accurate!

and then, of course, we get that sweet, sweet confirmation again:

immediately followed by miki spitting out the truth yet again.

oh and interestingly enough, even with tsuwabuki, where she blatantly treats him like her personal servant, she still doesn’t want to let him go; particularly, she doesn’t want to let him go to other girls.

even with a (give or take) 10/11 year old child, nanami refuses to acknowledge him interacting with another girl. simply because he’s a guy.

an extremely common and integral part of nanami’s character is her constant desire for acceptance (lots of episodes showcase this! namely nanami’s egg and cowbell of happiness). she’s a “late bloomer” who shows no romantic desire for men whatsoever; therefore, she fulfills this criteria for “normalcy” by having literally every other relationship with guys except for romantic, as shown with touga, tsuwabuki, and even saionji and miki to some extent. but for the most part —it’s shown with touga and tsuwabuki, simply because they’re the most obvious examples of non-romantic relationships: siblings and a literal elementary schooler. it’s kind of funny, almost; it’s like nanami thinks “having relationships with guys” is just one of many things she’s obligated to cross off on her checklist for societal acceptance, and literally goes in the most roundabout way to achieve it without realizing what it even means (i.e., romantic relationships with a guy, not just a relationship in general), and completely failing.

and all of this leads me, of course, to the final aspect to analyze: nanami’s relationship with utena.

yeah, it’s pretty safe to say they don’t get along on the best of terms at first. nanami even tried to kill utena during their first duel!

so it’s incredibly interesting to see their relationship evolve after the events of that skirmish.

regarding their first duel in particular, the duel lyrics have a LOT in them to unpack.

My eternal self The eternal stranger Two relations Two births Scales of mystery Human constellation

“my eternal self” versus “the eternal stranger” brings up some interesting parallels. touga seems to be the eternal stranger, with whom nanami believes she is closer to than anyone else, and yet she seems completely unable to figure out his inner workings and who he really is as a person. no matter what she’d like to or not like to admit, touga is and always has been a complete mystery to her. this “human constellation” can thus never be truly connected. but you know who else is a mystery to nanami?

yep! the boy-girl of ohtori herself. you have to consider this isn’t only a duel provoked by touga; it’s a duel with utena. a duel between nanami and utena. their relationship is bound to be mentioned in the song as well. which is exactly why i believe nanami says this right after utena technically “wins” the duel by slicing nanami’s rose off.

nanami’s essentially setting herself up for a long, long rivalry spanning the rest of the series with those five words. it seems like nanami’s more interested in seeing what makes utena tick than her own brother, whom she claims to be the “only one she loves.” simply challenging utena isn’t enough; she has to understand her in order to defeat her. and this ideology is called back to later in nanami’s second duel with utena!

nanami ends up giving one hell of a fight the second time around. despite only fighting her once prior, she ends up knowing all of utena’s moves beforehand and dodging them. that’s how well she knows utena’s fighting techniques.

now lets look at the nature of the duel itself. what exactly makes nanami want to challenge utena a second time?

individuality! distinction! that’s what nanami wants. she dreads the thought of being “one more fly in the swarm.” now that she’s discovered her relationship with touga’s been lying on top of a foundation of lies the whole time, her world comes crashing down. she doesn’t want to adore her brother anymore. she wants to surpass him, and so, essentially, escape her problems. and so, in a sort of roundabout way since utena was the reason behind nanami’s meddling and tensions with her brother, she believes defeating utena will be the key to defeating all of her problems.

and, spoiler alert: it isn’t. the fact that nanami isn’t able to win this duel is especially important. even after she’s able to jump the hurdle of her brother, she fails to jump the hurdle of utena. she wants to “surpass everything,” that is, leave the old her behind. and at first it seems like she’s succeeding to leave everything behind...except for utena.

touga serves as the last link nanami has towards any sort of affection towards a guy. and in this duel, she straight up BREAKS it by admitting there was nothing between them at all.

and THEN utena asks if nanami feels better. even though she, like...literally just lost the duel. given utena’s character it’s probably just her naivete showing through, but given the underlying messages this series is ridden with, it probably refers to how nanami “defeating” touga was FAR more important than her actually defeating utena—that is, she never needed to defeat utena in the first place to feel better.

so, what we get from this is: a) nanami succeeds in breaking her bond towards touga, but b) fails to break that bond with utena.

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

and of course the lyrics here in this dueling song as well:

You, me, our nature Our nature, our nature Free will and existence

who’s it about? the nature of the kiryuu siblings? the nature of nanami and utena as they act as foils? the ambiguity of the song is what really makes it interesting. not to mention—free will and existence. nanami wants out of this oppressive system. and she believes utena is the key to it (and, well, she’s not wrong!). take of that what you will symbolically, metaphorically, ikuharaesquely, etc.

and that free will and existence line just leads me to believe that nanami’s a foil to anthy in regards to utena, since free will and existence is essentially what utena fights for anthy to achieve in the end, and what anthy desperately desires: autonomy. and, so, given that these two are foils in regards to utena...well, we all know what anthy is in regards to utena.

...yeah. exactly. imagery/parallelism they didn’t absolutely HAVE to do, but did regardless.

and, so, by the end, even nanami’s seemed to have caught that inescapable sense of fondness for utena. she comes entirely out of good will on her own accord to warn utena of akio, and doesn’t even consider giving up when utena brushes her advice aside.

she’s insistent on drilling into utena’s head that she should get out of that house—even though doing so wouldn’t benefit nanami at all. utena promptly points out how uncharacteristic of nanami this is:

to which nanami immediately snaps back with:

nanami’s essentially admitting that utena’s the one who’s permanently altered her character and made her much less of a selfish brat (although she still has a loooonnggg way to go, obviously) than she was prior to the series canon. utena’s the cause for everything, direct or indirect: clashing with touga, getting over her brief crush on miki, developing a sense of empathy while transitioning from a desire for social acceptance to a desire for social independence...it’s all been catalyzed by utena at some point.

so, in brief?

utena revolutionized nanami’s world (see, i can’t even look at that sentence without thinking about how gay it sounds).

OKAY, so first off: thank you so so much for reading this far! i want to get into my last point of contention now, which is a super subtle conversation between utena and nanami near the end of the series but speaks VOLUMES, but before i do, i just wanna show two marginally interesting screencaps that fit this theory suspiciously well because i really want to save the best part for last.

exhibit a:

nanami + physical contact’s only ever been shown in regards to her brother. and yet the second utena comes into the mix...well, despite how trivial this scene is, the reaction is pretty satisfying.

exhibit b: nanami’s reaction to juri in the video game.

just tattoo i love women onto your forehead next time, nanami.

now on to what is possibly my favorite exchange in the entire series—that’s how much i love the underlying subtleties in this scene. utena brings up having “blood type-B” when talking to nanami in said scene. why? because just a few episodes earlier...

nanami finds out touga’s blood type never correlated genetically with her family’s.

which, later on in the episode, she ends up telling utena (and the fact that at this point she’s trusting utena enough to even marginally tell her what this whole mess is about is gratifying in itself).

so basically, the importance of this conversation?

(for clarification: utena’s saying the first half, and nanami’s saying the dialogue on the bottom-most screencap).

it shows the COMPLETE 180 nanami and utena’s relationship has gone through. misunderstandings and petty arguments and hostilities into something that’s blossomed through adversity to a relationship of mutual understanding. and, it feels like, for the first time in either of their lives, they’re actually in the loop on something, rather than being hopelessly confused in a maze of the bells and whistles of student council, the mystery behind the eternity duelists seek at the arena, the end of the world, the complete enigma that is touga kiryuu, and can finally just interact in this sort of liberating way that shows both of them at their best with one another.

and what i love about this is that nanami doesn’t get mad at utena. she doesn’t snap about how she spoke too soon about the whole incident. it’s questionable if she even cares about the whole incident now, considering the ties she broke off with touga at the climax of her second duel. rather, she knows what utena’s jokingly pointing at, and the two are in a mutual understanding of how much they’ve been through together in the hellscape that is ohtori academy.

but, the BEST part of this entire exchange? the part that shows probably the first time nanami’s ever gotten actual happiness from someone, something that shows that she’s finally past the superficial happiness from her unwitting adoration of touga that’s essentially been crumbled to dust by the end of her character arc, allowing her to finally set aside pleasing others and end up potentially discovering herself, far from when she first met utena?

nanami’s final reaction to her.

#revolutionary girl utena #nanami kiryuu #utena #rgu #let nanami...........have a gf..........2k17 to forever...........#meta #my meta

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maybeleas · 7 years

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Movie Review: The Handmaiden

General review of The Handmaiden:

Two words to describe this stunning work of art. It is an erotic elegance. It is a beautiful work of art, that most people would not appreciate. This move is subtle and brash, at the same time. This movie tells the story of three people, Hideko, a mistress of a very rich heirloom, Tamako/Sook Hee her handmaiden, and a deceitful conman. This story plays and twists the plots in a very aggressive way, turning the story a complete 360 degrees the moment that the viewer thinks they know the story of the movie. What you think you know in the first hour of the movie, is drastically changed in 5 minutes. It takes the mind of a genius to be able to figure out what happens before the movie ends, and I was absolutely blown away by the end. It is a story of two unexpected lovers, the greed for money, and the unsettling fear of sexual abuse. A mindful warning to those planning on reading this blogpost and watching the movie, this movie is an 18+ movie with a handful of sex scenes, so watch with your own caution.

What I liked most about the movie was the contrast between the soft, subtle and naïve characters with the strong, psychotic, and dark plot. The strong plot pushes these naïve characters into the ground, breaking their insides and exposing them raw on the floor. It was an amazing sight to see how these characters slowly changed from their gentle selves into hard characters, but the scary thing is that they only seem soft on the outside, but on closer inspection they were left completely dead inside from all the mental and physical torture they had to endure.

The production of the film was exquisite. The gorgeous gowns and kimonos of Hideko were fit for a mistress of riches, the living quarters that incorporated Japanese and American living cultures, the scenery of the entire film. Everything was flawlessly placed to awaken a sense of beauty in the viewer. Also, Hideko is a very beautiful and awe-inspiring woman, with pale skin, full lips and big eyes. Her beauty matched the beauty of the scenery very much. This movie also portrayed both Japanese and Korean languages alongside their culture. This film is not merely a film of 2 hours and a half, but it is a stunning work of art, perfect for movie enthusiast to delve into. It’s dark and twisty turn of events only made the ending more enjoyable to watch. A complete 5/5!

The actors & actresses

Hideko, the mistress is portrayed by South Korean actress, Kim Min Hee. Firstly, I truly applaud Kim Min Hee’s amazing and powerful acting into bringing life into Hideko’s living corpse of a character. Hideko is very subtle in her movements, often looking up with her wide and strong gaze that often leaves men and women alike weak in the knees. Kim Min Hee manages to make her character seem cold and lifeless, but alive with passion in certain scenes. You can see how Hideko is truly broken from all those years of the sexual and mental abuse her uncle gave her, running her into the ground with everything that pervert had. The actress did a beautiful and splendid job at holding up Hideko’s china doll demeanour but she allowed a little window for observant viewers to see the living dead of her character. It was truly overwhelming seeing her go from being a naïve and soft character, that even Tamako said ‘she wouldn’t even notice if someone pulled her nipple,’ to a strong and rebellious woman that took the things she wanted, unapologetically.

Hideko should’ve been a very difficult character to portray. She is a victim of long mental and sexual abuse, with a twisted childhood. She grew up with a blank mind, only following the orders and needs of her disgusting uncle. She was a beautiful yet completely dishevelled corpse, only nodding when asked. To be able to portray such a fragile character would require amazing skill, and that is exactly what Kim Min Hee did! Just like Tamako, I was blown away within 5 minutes of seeing her on the screen. Her subtle movements of her body accentuated the words she spoke, and made her look more & more innocent. As she spoke, she would look up into the eyes of Tamako, her hand would push away her long hair, and her body would slightly move into her. Kim Min Hee is definitely an outstanding actress, who did more than enough to make Hideko an iconic character. She deserves an award for being brave enough to take on such a scandalous and risky role, but her acting, without a doubt played an incredible part in the movie’s beauty.

Moving on, the role of her handmaiden, Tamako was portrayed by Kim Tae Ri, a South Korean actress. Her baby faced demeanour and small frame captivated me very much, it was puzzling how she was one of the main characters when I was first watching it. As the movie continues on, I could definitely see why. Although Kim Tae Ri is just a small framed person, she manages to bring Tamako’s daring personality alive. Also, Kim Tae Ri is a beautiful woman, with almond eyes and an adorable baby face. Paired with Min Hee, they were an iconic lesbian duo. (Yes, a lesbian duo. Deal with it.) I loved how Tamako went from being a person who only wanted to put Hideko into a mental asylum to take away all her possessions to becoming Hideko’s lover who cared so much for her. Her refusal to participate with the Count’s plans was the final confirmation I needed, Tamako was in love with Hideko, and she only wanted her, and no one else.

Tamako is a bright and confusing character, with plenty constantly going around in her head. She thinks of the plan, Hideko, herself, all in one breath. Kim Tae Ri manages to bring up both sides of Tamako, her submissive side towards Hideko to her stubborn personality facing the Count. She was definitely the ideal contrast to Hideko’s graceful movements. She was clumsy and instinctive, yet Kim Tae Ri balanced it all perfectly. I truly loved her role as Tamako, and truly believe she wasn’t just Hideko’s handmaiden, but she was Hideko’s right hand, beside her, and not behind her. She stood equally as her, and Hideko appreciated that very much. Tamako’s support and protectiveness towards Hideko was beautiful to see, and Kim Tae Ri was just as a good of an actress as Min Hee. They both completed each other marvellously, and matched each other very well. The casting of these two in the film was perfect.

Count Fujiwara was the deceitful and money greedy Korean conman, who was a man full of tricks. He only wanted Min Hee for her money, and didn’t have an ounce of shame to try to hide it. He was played by Ha Jung Woo, also a South Korean actor. He isn’t only an actor, but is also a film director, screenwriter, and film producer. Seeing all these roles he plays, it isn’t completely baffling to know why he definitely aced Count Fujiwara’s character in the movie. Count Fujiwara was a plain character who didn’t have anything to hide, he just had bad things up his sleeves, and he planned on seeing them through, no matter the consequences. What he wanted, he would get. He didn’t take no as an answer, and manipulation and tricks were his ultimate weapons. His character was sly and a complete bastard. He tried cheating BOTH of them?! Like hello?! He spoke lies like it was completely normal, and didn’t even flinch. He was a strong and annoying presence, and Jung Woo played this character extremely well. He managed to be a conman, a seducer, a businessman, and a genius in 2 hours and 47 minutes. Unfortunately, he also became dead in 2 hours and 47 minutes.

I will not touch on Hideko’s uncle, as his character is truly sickening. I can’t even and won’t even begin with him. He is as soul as the blank ink on his tongue, and he deserves nothing but death.

Iconic scenes...

1) The scene where Tamako destroys Hideko’ s uncle’s library. This scene was a powerful tribute, because that was something Hideko wanted to do so badly. Tamako threw and ripped the books that contained Count Fujiwara’s imitation art, and tore the entire library apart. She splashed red paint/ink on the books and art, and threw them into the water well inside the room. If you could notice, Hideko is the one who dunks the remaining red ink onto the books inside the water well and she timidly pushes a stack of books into the water as well. Before that, she only followed Tamako around the library, doing nothing to stop her as Tamako destroyed every inch of her uncle’s beloved library. At the end, Tamako destroys the ‘snake’ guarding the door, and they leave the destroyed library, laughing together, running off into the distance.

2) The scene where Hideko is reciting poetry inside the library. Okay, the perverted men listening were disgusting to look at. But what I really liked about this scene was Kim Min Hee ‘s acting. Again she proves her brilliant acting. Hideko has to read erotic poetry, yet Hideko sounded perfectly innocent and pure reading it out loud. She gazed out at the men with big eyes, and read each page slowly with grace. Kim Min Hee did a breathtaking job at this particular scene. I had to rewind to watch this scene again, taking it all in. She really did THAT.

3) The sex scenes. Firstly, this was labelled as a mature movie. But, although this wasn’t my first mature film, I can assure you that the Handmaiden has done a completely amazing job at every sex scene, especially between Hideko and Tamako. The sex scenes were tasteful and sophisticated, it was nothing hasty or messy. It was delicated and erotic, but with complete elegance. It wasn’t trashy or porn-ish in any sense, but it was very tastefully played out. It was gentle and sexy, without an aura of heat. It was more of a passionate, love affair compared to a mess. A personal favourite is the scene at the end, where Hideko and Tamako uses the Lover Bells.

4) The scene where Count Fujiwara gets tortured by Hideko’s uncle. He deserved every piece of suffering and pain. I was disappointed to see that the uncle did not unleash the octopus onto the Count. But seeing his fingers getting cut off and hand being drilled was good enough for a fun time, I guess. Also, not only did he die, the disgusting uncle also die. Double yay! The scene was short, but just perfect enough for you to be happy to see them both suffer, painfully.

Overall, this movie was very carefully crafted into becoming a very iconic movie. I would suggest this movie to people who are not afraid to stumble into something a bit more darker and mature than what they’re used too, but it’s worth the watch. Goodluck to everyone watching!

#the handmaiden #movie reveiw #korean handmaiden #hideko #tamako #count fujiwara

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trbl-will-find-me · 7 years

Text

A Little Night Music (2/4)

Phantom AU. Good news? Longer than planned. Bad news? Longer than planned.

She wakes to the sound of Lily’s tell tale singsong: Lizzie’s got a suitor! Lizzie’s got a suitor! She laughs, and rolls over, hiding her blush in the pillows. She feels lighter, happier than she has in ages.

In her wildest dreams, she’d never imagined she’d find him again. It had broken her heart when he’d been assigned overseas --- and his, too. They’d spent three years orbiting perhaps a bit too closely to each other, never anything untoward, never anything inappropriate, but enough to leave her wondering what they could have been, what they might have become. When she’d laid eyes on him the first night backstage, it had opened all of those old questions, all of those hopes and curiosities.

He kisses every bit as well as she’d always imagined.

She dresses, and pins her hair into place, stopping by Lily’s room on her way out.

“Who told you I’ve got a suitor?” She asks, trying not to laugh.

“Come on, Lizzie, no one kisses a friend like that!”

She shakes her head. “You’re lucky you’re cute, you know that?”

“It was like the flickers!”

“Lily Shen, how many movies have you seen?”

“Enough!”

‘Tell your father the rent money’s on his desk.”

“Why don’t you ---“

“I’m going out.”

“With ---“

“No, Lily, with the Man in the Moon!”

She launches into another chorus as Lizzie turns and waves at her.

“I feel underdressed,” she says, standing at the doorstep of an elaborate town house.

John shakes his head. “You’re fine.”

“I would have worn a different hat.”

He chuckles, voice warm. “No one’s gonna take offense, Lizzie.”

A woman opens the door, and ushers them inside. At least, Lizzie assumes the figure to be a woman. She is dressed like a woman, wears a woman’s hat, and make up, but her eyes are too large and there are round ridges above her brow. She sees no obvious signs of hair.

“Captain Bradford, Betos is expecting you. Come with me.”

She leads them up through the house, up two flights of stairs. Everyone they pass fits the description of the first woman: almost human, but not quite. Save for unusual appearances, however, the house’s occupants seem fairly ordinary. They argue about baseball, or sit and read, or make and mend. Aside from their appearance, and the presence of several angry looking scars across some in their ranks, they are perfectly normal people.

They just aren’t human.

They’re led upstairs into a heated solarium. Exotic plants surround them, and seem to luminesce of their own accord. There are flowers she’s only seen in books, and others she’s not certain anyone has laid eyes on before. At the center of the room is a small wicker garden table set. The woman takes their coats and hats, and gestures for them to sit.

“She will be right with you.”

Lizzie watches the woman leave, then quirks an eyebrow at John. “How…”

“Work,” he says. “They’ve been my eyes and ears on the disappearances.”

“They aren’t…”

He shakes his head. “She’ll explain better, but … she’ll explain better.”

“Captain Bradford!” A voice calls.

They both stand to greet the source, a woman clad in a mint green dress with a matching cloche perched jauntily on her head. She is as alien as the others, but exudes a warmth that quickly sets Lizzie at ease.

“Betos,” John says, taking her hand. “Thanks for seeing us.”

She smiles. “A pleasure as always. You must be Miss Regan,” she says, extending a hand. “I hear congratulations are in order for you debut. Several of my people were in the audience.’

She accepts the outstretched hand, and can feel the beginning of a blush creeping up her cheeks. “Thank you,” she says.

“Please, sit!” Betos says. “Make yourselves comfortable. We have much to discuss.”

“Now,” she begins, once they’ve settled in. “I suspect you must have questions, Miss Regan. My kind is often a surprise to newcomers.”

She nods. “I did wonder, but I didn’t want to be rude.”

Betos shakes her head. “There is nothing rude. It is a natural question.” She draws in a breath. “How much do you know of the Others?’

“Not much more than anyone else. They landed fifteen years ago, revolutionized our technology with Elerium, opened clinics, helped institute the dirigible corps. Some of them walk among us as the Chosen.” She shrugs. “My own experience with them hasn’t been the most pleasant, but I doubt L’Assassina is really the best ambassador. But, even then, she’s really no worse than your usual prima donna.”

“Do you know where the Chosen come from?’

“I assumed wherever the Others had come from.”

“It is not quite that simple, unfortunately.” Betos shifts. “Most of what humanity has come to believe about the Others is the product of careful manipulation. They are not nearly as benevolent as they seem. They move from world to world, draining planets of resources before continuing on. That which they cannot take, they destroy.”

“It was for this purpose they created my people,” she continues. “We are made to carry out their bidding, to see their will done. To seek freedom is dangerous; to achieve it even more. We have done what we can to create havens. That is what first put me into contact with Captain Bradford.”

Lizzie turns to look at him, and he nods. “It’s a lot easier to move people on a Navy dirigible when you can forge the official cargo manifest.”

“His actions allowed us to create all that you see here,” Betos says. “His continued interference allows us to maintain it.”

“So, the clinics…”

“Are indeed what your people would call a ‘front.’ They are simply another means for the Others to gather resources.”

She shudders.

“But they are not all you need fear. There is a far more present danger. You said you are in the presence of one of the Chosen, L’Assassina, but you are, in fact, faced with two.”

Lizzie furrows her brow. “Who? No one else … everyone else is pretty human.”

“So were the Chosen at one time.”

“What? They … they … can’t be. I mean, how would …”

“The Others have far greater knowledge than they have shown,” Betos says, gently.

“But … why?”

“It is far more difficult to resist a force you believe to be your natural superior in every way. Science, engineering, technology, the arts: they are the Others’ first means of subjugation.”

Lizzie shifts uncomfortably in her seat. “You said there were two. Who’s the other?”

“You have felt something, have you not? Something that should be there.”

She nods.

“It does not leave you alone, does it not? It finds you, no matter what you do.”

Again, she nods.

“It is your … Opera Ghost, as you call him. We know him as the Warlock. He finds his way into the minds of his victims, bends them to his will.

She swallows hard and John reaches for her hand. “You are fortunate to be here at all,” Betos says.

“We think he’s been responsible for my missing persons cases,” John offers. “When you started telling me about what was happening, I had a hunch, and came here for help.”

“So, how do I stop it?” She asks.

“It is not simply a matter of you.”

“We’ve got … a lead.”

“But in the meantime, you must protect yourself.”

“How?” She asks.

Betos stands. “Come with me.”

They rise, following their host down through the house into the basement.

It’s surprisingly welcoming and well-lit, albeit a bit damp. A man in an immaculate shirt and waistcoat sits at a desk.

“Mox!” Betos calls. “Are they ready?”

He rises. “I believe they are.”

“Captain Bradford, Miss Regan, this is Pratal Mox.”

They exchange the usual pleasantries, handshakes and introductions.

“Mr. Mox serves as our primary agent in developing countermeasures against the Others. He once ranked highly in their organization,” Betos explains.

“Atonement,” Mox says. “I have done many things of which I am not proud.”

“We were all forced to act against our natures; it is what we do now that matters,” Betos counters.

Mox reaches into the pocket of his waistcoat, and produces a small blue crystal on a thin silver chain. “This is a mindshield,” he explains. “It works to disrupt the abilities of the Others and their Chosen. Keep it on you and it will keep them from prying where they should not.” He takes Lizzie’s hand, and deposits the crystal into it. “Wear it well.”

She spends the remainder of her days puttering about the house, running errands, and helping Lily with schoolwork, and her nights out and about with John. She is not ready to get back to work, not yet at least, but she takes comfort in the crystal secreted away under her dress.

To put it mildly, L’Assassina is displeased.

“What betrayal!” She shrieks. “I give this theater my gifts, my beauty, and this is how you repay me!”

Her shriek echoes through the corridors, warning all to give the leading lady a wide berth.

Lizzie shrugs out of her coat and hat, hanging them from the rack in the communal dressing area. She knows it is far too early to tell, but the mindshield does seem to make a difference. She does not feel the crush, the dizziness, the sickening loss of self. She can feel, can think, can choose for herself.

It does little, however, to protect her from L’Assassina’s wrath.

“And,” she spits in her exaggerated Italian accent. “To add insult to injury, you replace me with this little toad!”

Lizzie looks up. The Spokesman’s face is writ with exasperation. “Signora, you left us little option with your departure.”

“Her!” L’Assassina spits. “One not worthy of the role.”

“Signora ---“

“Barely fit to be a background player!”

Lizzie tries to hide her smile.

“Look at that smirk!”

She offers a contrite glance to the Spokesman. “My apologies, sir. My thoughts were on affairs of a more personal nature.”

The Spokesman pinches the bridge of his nose. “Do try to keep your focus, Miss Regan.”

“Of course.”

“Look at her! And you give her my role!” L’Assassina shrieks.

“You will return to the spotlight for the next production,” he intones. “Rest assured. Miss Regan’s tenure was only to account for your unexpected absence.”

The diva storms off and the Spokesman offers her a glance that borders on apologetic before giving chase.

She wonders what the woman was like before she attracted the Others’ attention. Perhaps, once upon a time, she might have been pleasant.

On her way out the door that night, the maestro catches her. His eyes dart back and forth a moment, as if checking to ensure no one else listens in.

“The Spokesman has asked me to ask you to consider taking an … unofficial understudy role. It … we couldn’t credit you, not officially, but ---“

“But he’s worried you’ll be down a performer.”

The maestro nods.

She nods. “Tell him he can count on me.”

“We might need you … when she is otherwise occupied.”

“So, the early mornings?”

The maestro nods.

“Just tell me when.”

“8 A.M?”

She nods.

“Lovely. See you tomorrow.”

“Wait, let me make sure I understand this,” John says, furrowing his brow over dinner that night. “They like you enough to keep you on standby, but not to put you in the role?”

She shrugs. “I don’t have the kind of name draw.”

“Did you see the reviews, Lizzie?’

“I did,” she grins. “But I’m also practical. Besides, if it builds my audition material, it builds my audition material.”

He shakes his head. “You deserve better.”

“I’ve got you. That’s all the good I need.”

They’ve brought on a new master rigger, a man who calls himself only Hunter. Even in the dark of backstage, she can make out barely concealed blue skin. He ingratiates himself quickly with the rest of the crew, and makes short work of flirting with the chorus and corps de ballet. They soon joke that his name is as much a warning as anything else: always on the hunt for some new quarry.

She wishes their interactions were that light.

“You’ve got him all a-twitter,” he purrs at her at the close of the first week of rehearsal.

“Who?” She asks, her eyes never leaving the maestro’s notes from the morning’s clandestine rehearsal.

“Oh, don’t play coy. You’ve caught my brother’s attention.”

“I’m sure you’re mistaken.”

“That pretty little stone you’re holding onto -- yes, I know about your little chat with those deserters -- he’ll do anything to separate you from it. And they think I’m persistent.”

Don’t look up, she tells herself. Don’t let him see he’s got something.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

“Oh, come on, Lizzie,” he says, leaning down to whisper into her ear. “We both know the Opera Ghost’s already been inside your head.”

She straightens. “I don’t believe in superstitions,” she informs him, curtly.

“You don’t have to; he’ll make himself known.”

John pulls her close under his arm as they walk that night, and she rests her head against him.

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” he says. “I promise

She’s not opposed to unconventional forms of communication. Sometimes, the easiest way to ensure a message is understood is to have it delivered in person; text lacks the prosody of a personal delivery.

There is, however, a line.

The maestro’s eyes roll back into his head and his form radiates a faint purple light.

“The Elders call to you, Miss Regan. They have chosen you. They will not be denied.”

She can feel the eyes of the cast and crew on her.

“We will not be denied.”

She bolts from the theater.

#xcom #fic #phantom au

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heroes-of-our-hearts · 5 years

Text

Chapter Four: So Maybe Covert Isn’t You...

It’d been a week.

A goddamn week since you’d been found out by Nedzu. And boy did he hold a grudge!

He’d given you the whole, “I’m not mad, just disappointed” treatment. He lectured you many, many times on the grave importance of keeping out of the public’s eye when possible.

You had listened, though.

You knew that you messed up. This mission was important and you were letting your emotions get the best of you. You needed to stay focused.

Thus, you’d been throwing yourself into training.

Each day for the past week you’d been getting up in the middle of the night, doing some training exercises, then heading to UA to occupy one of the training facilities for a few hours.

A few days prior you’d found the most perfect spot for training. It was a sectioned off area in a more reclusive part of the campus. There was water there, and sand, and road.

You’d deemed it your own little section of campus the moment you found it.

You began with some meditation, as always. It was nice to clear your mind before you began, and your old mentor had taught you the importance of connecting with the elements spiritually, as well as physically. Your meditations as of late have been rather fitful though. You’d been thinking about the mission, but every time you did you seemed to go deeper into the rabbit hole.

So, today you tried to focus a little more on the people you’d met- or, in Nemuri’s case, the person you already knew. Nemuri had brought you a bit of joy, though you didn’t think she’d realized just how much her friendship meant to you. It was normal, familiar. She was one of the only pieces of your real life that you could keep close.

Hizashi was nice. He never hesitated to include you, and always offered to help if you needed something. The two of you clicked pretty easily, and fell into a friendly companionship. He always tried to make you laugh, and you could appreciate how much he seemed to care about how the people around him felt.

You’d had your fair share of run ins with All Might as well. You still couldn’t quite get over the initial meeting. He had been your biggest inspiration for the longest time. You’d once even hinted at possibly going up against another pro hero, say Tempest for example, for something like charity. The man had laughed, but then his eyes had saddened. He’d told you about how he hoped that Tempest was okay, and you were taken aback. He’d never even met you, or at least as far as he knew, and yet he cared.

And then there was Shouta. You adored talking with him. He had this aloof, hard exterior and liked to pretend like he didn’t care what was being said. But, you’d seen him lean closer when you were talking, you’d watched the slight narrowing of his eyes as he genuinely listened to what you had to say. You hoped he enjoyed your conversations as much as you did.

You sat for a moment longer, wondering how your newfound friends would feel when they found out your secret. Surely, they wouldn’t hate you. Right? You were just doing this to protect the people you cared about.

Or, perhaps they’d think you had abandoned the people who saw you as a hero.

A chill ran down your spine, forcing a sigh from your lungs.

You couldn’t dwell on what others thought right now. You had to focus on finishing this, and then you could worry about restoring the faith in the people who believed in you.

Physically and mentally shaking off your thoughts, you got to your feet, stretching your limbs a bit. You had been overworking yourself, but you knew that it was necessary. You’d noticed that your quirk had been growing a bit stronger with each session. It was miniscule, but you could feel the difference.

Readying yourself, you released a breath.

Then, you pushed one hand forward, your hand forming a fist as you did so. A flame grew from just off of your appendage, raging forward with fiery vengeance.

The energy coursing through your veins was intoxicating, like the sun itself seeping in. You moved one foot forward, repeating the process of your first arm on your second. More fire engulfed the air around you. The flames danced in your eyes, growing with each beat of your heart.

It was a basic exercise really, a test of strength with an element you hadn’t had the chance to use much of lately. Even so, you had been working with the elements your entire life. They were in every single part of your being. At first, you’d struggled a bit with controlling fire specifically, but once you’d mastered it, you knew you’d always be able to rely on it.

You pulled your hands down, snuffing the flame with it.

Okay, yeah, you were awesome.

Growing a little more confident that you hadn’t completely lost all of the work you’d put into with your quirk before having to go into hiding, you tried a few more complex moves. You had a teacher who had dedicated a great deal of time to helping you master the element of fire.

You used both hands, your feet- hell, even your mouth to produce fire. (Though, using your breath for it wasn’t the most practical, it’d gotten you out of a few tight binds when they’d tied your hands and feet up before.) You were honing in your fire abilities, really focusing on improving your form in some of your moves. You’d always had raw talent when it comes to the production, but the hardest part about fire manipulation was keeping control of it.

Fire was wild, and could be difficult and dangerous if not properly executed.

You were huffing and puffing, taking a moment to catch your breath when a shrill scream tore through the night. It wasn’t too far, and the hero in you had you running towards the source before you could think twice about it.

Your feet pounded against the ground in time with your heart, each second dragging as the scream rang in your head. You were moving on pure instinct, barely able to make out the obstacles around you as you narrowly dodged a fence.

You fumbled with your access badge, forcing your way off the campus and out into the cool night. You stopped for a second, looking on either side of you. The noises had stopped and you still couldn’t quite pinpoint where it was coming from.

Thinking quickly, you dropped to your knees, pressing your palm firmly to the ground. You steadied your breathing as best you could, feeling the earth around you. It was difficult, with the amount of people moving about, but you could feel someone struggle, see the impact as they were thrown to the ground in your mind’s eye.

You were propelling yourself off the ground and towards the alley two streets down without another thought.

As you turned the corner, you almost ran smack dab into a man with shining skin. He had a hold of another bloodied man, wet coughs forcing their way up his throat. His face was beaten almost beyond recognition.

“You know, if you’re going to attack someone you might not want to do so outside of a world renowned hero school,” you offered as advice, not giving the man in question a chance to retort.

Years of training had you running forward, the villain rearing back to go in for an attack. Typically, your hero suit had special pouches with water in them, just in case you needed it. Unfortunately, you weren’t in a hero costume, and there was no water nearby.

Naturally, you made a decision.

One quick, decisive fist upwards caused the ground around you to rise from its natural spot. It moved upward, grabbing hold of the villain’s wrist as he was mid swing.

He growled.

You twisted your left hand, causing the earth beneath his feet to form around his ankles, rendering him powerless.

He was cussing and kicking and trying his damndest to be free from the constraints.

“Right, let’s get you some help,” you said to the injured man, approaching cautiously. You could tell that the villain was even more pissed off that you didn’t pay attention to him, but to be fair he was never going to win that fight.

The other man was curled in on himself, blood pooling all over his clothes. He was in no condition to go anywhere. You briefly considered picking him up, but he looked fairly heavy and you weren’t sure that you could carry him that far. Not to mention, you didn’t know if he had any spinal injuries. The last thing you wanted to do was cause him more pain.

You crossed your arms over your chest, looking to the villain then towards the victim. You had no doubt that Nedzu was going to give you one hell of a lecture after this was through.

Muttering to yourself, you pulled out your phone, dialing Nedzu’s number. He’d be the fastest and most efficient way to take care of this and find some sort of cover story. Just as the first ring started, a voice pulled you from the phone.

“(Y/N)?”

Shit.

Very not good.

Turning comically slow, you met the dark eyes of Shouta.

Nedzu’s voice filled the silence between you two.

#aizawa shouta x reader #eraserhead x reader #mha imagine #vendetta

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dxringred · 7 years

Note

Hey, I'm the anon that asked you how come you couldn't see both Paily and Emison as decent ships... I'm sorry I truly didn't mean it to come of negatively.. An I sure didn't mean to bring up bad memories. For that I'm truly sorry.. I agree to disagree on certain things you said. An I'm truly grateful for your candor with answering.. Its just the girl that fell for her best friend wishes to have that happy ending we never get.. Which for me is the appeal of Emison. I enjoy Paily also.

I think Emison Endgame is the product of MK not writing it in earlier.. Hear me out.. I think they planned on making Emily an Ali a couple at some point.. I think with all the writers the storyline kept getting delayed.. I think it was suppose to be this I tried cause I really do love you just not that way storyline.. They held out season after season.. Than lots of angry shippers later.. They were like oh shit better give them what they want. Hence the Endgame was born..

As for the discussion as a whole. One of the reasons I’m turned right off of Em/son as a ship is due to the premise of: “girl that fell for her best-friend and desires happiness.” And that’s mostly because that’s how my abusive relationship started. She was my best-friend and I had the biggest crush in the world on her, and that’s why she found it so easy to manipulate me etc. which is arguably the issue with Em/son because Alison can use Emily’s long-term crush and adoration as a starting point to manipulate her. She knows how she feels, she knows personal stuff about her because of their friendship, and that means she’s well-aware of her weak points and her strengths. That makes it incredibly easy to use people.

I know a lot of people are very into this trope, and the “best friends turned lovers” is one of the more popular, and I’m guilty of loving it myself but only when it’s done right. Not when there are abusive undertones to it, because that just leaves a bad taste in my mouth in general. I prefer Pai/y as a relationship because the ship doesn’t have the same negative undertones, especially not after their initial rocky start.

The two relationships, for me, have similar but vastly different premises. Both tell the story of a girl who gets/wants the girl of her dreams. Paige gets Emily, Emily gets Alison. But here’s the difference:

one tells a tale of hope where a depressed, bullied girl who hates herself and thinks she’ll be miserable forever gets her happy ending;

the other tells the tale of a mildly popular girl getting with her highschool crush of the “popular bitch” who’s not even a healthy friend let alone a healthy romantic/sexual partner.

The two stories, when looked into beyond the initial trope, are entirely different, and for me personally it’s obvious which one is the ideal representation not just for the community but also in terms of being shown to a young audience of influential girls. Hint: it’s the first one.

I mean when I first watched PLL, Pai/y struck a cord with me for the exact reason outlined above - its story, being one of hope and love and promise. Because Paige was damaged but it didn’t make her any less of a person. It didn’t make her any less lovable or worthy. It didn’t make her any less deserving of being happy. She was closeted and lonely, depressed, bullied and suicidal. And as someone who, too, has been all of those things simultaneously, I related to her character immensely. She gave me hope. And she still does, despite MK being a giant screw-up in regards to writing the remainder of Paige’s story.

Alison on the other hand. Well, she’s the character you’re not supposed to want to see get a happy ending. Particularly when you see yourself in Paige. (Or Mona or Lucas or any of her other victims.) She’s the bully, the abuser, the manipulator, the individual who drives people to suicide and breaks them for her own amusement. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve always been for the assertion that the show would’ve been better had she stayed dead. (Or been revealed as alive right at the end, only to turn out to have been the villain all along, or for at least during some portion of the story.)

Having her get her victim’s happy ending instead is.. well, you can probably see why it’s problematic and why fans of Paige and Pai/y are more than a little bitter/angry. For similar reasons it’s always irked me that Alison gets so easily accepted by the core four while Mona is still painted negatively by them, but that’s another discussion for another day.

I think “Em/son Endgame” god I hate that phrase lol never made sense from the get-go personally. Of course I can understand why people were into it, and maybe if I’d watched the show when it initially started instead of binging it then maybe I’d have had more time to see the appeal. But I didn’t, and perhaps that’s where the different perception comes into play. For me the manipulation was apparent from the first flashback between the two, with red flags popping up all the time in their friendship.

I always thought the more interesting story was Emily overcoming her crush on Alison and realizing that she deserved more, recognizing that what she had with Alison to whatever extent clearly wasn’t healthy and moving on with someone else who appreciated her more as a person and wasn’t just using her to fulfill their desire to be admired and given attention.

So when she regressed completely and all of that became completely irrelevant… well, it felt like a waste of storytelling if I’m honest. Like all that build-up and development and introduction of new character dynamics had been for naught. And it was. I’m always a sucker for proper planning. It clarifies things, it makes them easier to follow, and I think the issue with several current shows nowadays is that the writers don’t always entirely know how they want to get from Point A to Point B. Despite claims otherwise. You can’t just decide on Point A, Point B, and half of the journey between the two and then decide you’ll think about the other half when you get to it because you don’t have time and that’s something I can definitely attest to as a writer.

There were several times when I thought Emily was finally seeing it, particularly in later seasons. Where I thought she was going to realize that she was being used, but then she constantly kept going back to Alison and that alone isn’t the healthiest thing. And I know that for a fact because it was a staple of my own abusive relationship with someone.

If Alison had actually grown as a character I’d probably be less against the ship. I still wouldn’t ship it - no amount of in-depth character growth is going to make me like Alison enough, unfortunately - but I’d understand a lot more why other people do and I wouldn’t be disgusted at the thought of Em/son becoming endgame or labeled as good representation. Because it’s not.

Because I agree with you 100% on the last bit.

“Than lots of angry shippers later.. They were like oh shit better give them what they want. Hence the Endgame was born..”

I’ve always argued that that’s why the ship was “born” and suddenly became endgame despite all of the lack of development and character growth. It’s because of fan service, and that is no way to write or develop a show. You tell a certain story because it’s the one that needs to be told, that should be told, not because it’s the one that everyone else wants to be told.

And that’s my issue with PLL as an entire show, and why I stopped watching this last season, because it’s fan service for everyone at this point, including Pai/y shippers. And that’s one of the grossest things and some of the worst queerbaiting I’ve ever seen so don’t even get me started there.

Em/son shippers wanted something and they didn’t back down until they got it, and they went about it in a way that makes me gag even now: belittling the writers and the producers and the actresses. And let’s never forget them flipping insulting poor Lindsey every second of every day, telling her to commit suicide and not leaving room for a single nice comment on anything she posted anywhere. The poor woman probably regrets ever deciding to audition for the role of Paige and I don’t blame her one little bit.

And that’s my problem. You’ve got this abusive ship and mostly abusive fanbase behind it, and that’s why I can’t ever ship Em/son. It’s why I never will. Had it been planned, had it been developed, had it been turned into a 100% healthy ship, had Alison seen the error of her ways and genuinely become a better person, maybe I would. But that’s not what happened. And - with, what, five episodes left? Four? - it’s not what’s going to happen.

If you want to ship it, that’s perfectly fine. I can’t go around telling people what they can and can’t do, I can only explain to them why I don’t feel the same way as honestly as I can. So I know it’s long, and perhaps I missed some stuff, but hopefully this maybe explains my viewpoint a little better. If you managed to get all the way down here then thanks for taking the time to read!

#ask #paily #paige mccullers #essay #analysis #look at me making up tags

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