#she gives in to toxic diet culture and is a huge reason why my relationship with food is so fucked upppp

[beverageenthusiast]

.

#good fucking god #im hanging out w my mom and i remember why i dont love hanging out with my mom #she gives in to toxic diet culture and is a huge reason why my relationship with food is so fucked upppp #minding my business making myself a rice bowl w sweet potato and avocado w miso tahini dressing 🤌🤌 #and unprompted shes like #‘im on a new diet i cant eat any of those things i can only have 200 calories per meal #i miss avocado so much but i’d rather be skinny’ #im like BITCH???????? #thanks for sharing and also that ‘nutrition center’ u went to and bought a bunch of frozen food from is a scam #once u stop eating their special food they upsell you then ur gonna gain it all back i hate to break it to you #and also the key to losing weight is to exercise enough to offset what you eat #she does not exercise at all. #she made me fuckin weigh myself in front of her the other day and when she saw the number she was like ‘thats not that bad’ #HELLO?????? #is she trying to give me another ed? cuz her saying that is exactly how i developed an ed 7 years ago :-) #losing my mind actually #ive genuinely put in so much work and its such a conscious and constant effort to not fall back into those patterns #and here i am holding back tears while i try to finish eating

[bookaddict24-7]

I said at the beginning of the year that I would share my reviews more on my blog instead of just on Instagram and Goodreads. I’ve been reading a lot so far this year, so my reviews will be delayed on here. I’ll hopefully post five (mini-ish) reviews per week!

Friend me on Goodreads here to read my reviews in real-time!

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31. Fat Chance, Charlie Vega by Crystal Maldonado--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“TW: Fat Shaming, Gaslighting I absolutely loved this book, not just because of the amazing representation, but because I saw myself in Charlie. I grew up as the fat friend. I lost my father when I was young and grew up with a mom who didn’t always say the right thing about my size. My mom and I are in a much healthier place now, but seeing Charlie experience the feelings she does brought back a lot of memories and endeared her to me in ways I can’t ever explain. Her relationship with her best friend was, in my opinion, the centre point of this story. Yes, her mother obviously had a huge impact on the story and so did the romance, but ultimately I think this is a story about the power of friendship and perspective. No one is perfect and just because we see things through our eyes, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t other perspectives. And while Charlie’s experiences sometimes are heartbreaking, she is a young woman on the incredibly tough journey of learning how to love herself. I love YA books that feature realistic friendships and don’t sugarcoat the realities of what it is sometimes like to be the “fat friend”. I think this author captured those insecurities mixed with the love between these two friends beautifully. This book also features great representation for LGBTQ+ (Her best friend is Pan and it is actually mentioned in the book!!), there are BIPOC characters, and important discussions regarding fat phobia, the toxicity of diet culture, and the common misconception that fat automatically equals unattractiveness are explored. If you love books with Latina characters who have strong opinions and have great character growths, then I think you’ll enjoy this one. Also, if you like imperfect friendships and really cute romances, then you might also love this one like I did!”

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32. Don’t Kiss the Bride by Carian Cole--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“Okay, this was sooooo good. This book was everything I was hoping TORN by the same author would be. It was so spicy and I don’t mean it in the usual way, but in the connection between the characters. Their angst, while sometimes frustrating because they belonged together, was also endearing because it made their HEA so worth the wait. Also, there were a couple of characters who had high audacity levels. If you love age gaps, some spice, and a hot chemistry, then you’ll definitely enjoy this one!”

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33. Shine by Jessica Jung--⭐️⭐️

“Wow, this book was disappointing. I almost DNF’ed it at the beginning because I wasn’t really into the tone of the novel, but decided to keep going. I get what the author was trying to do, but this book was full of so many toxic characters. I don’t know if the author was trying to make the MC someone the reader could empathize with, but she was kind of awful. And that ending!!! Literally felt like everything I’d read was for nothing? There were so many plots that were just never truly concluded. I get the message that was being shown in this book, but holy crap it just felt like I was reading a drama that didn’t have a real conclusion. *SPOILERS* What the hell was that ending? It’s like the antagonist won because sure there was that one last shot the MC got in, but there were zero consequences for the antagonist’s actions. I know it’s part of a series but I felt like there wasn’t a solid conclusion to this book. I won’t be reading the sequel because this one was so disappointing, but I hope the sequel is better for those who WILL pick it up!”

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34. How to Catch A Queen by Alyssa Cole--⭐️⭐️⭐️

“This romance had a lot more going for it than I anticipated and again, this is me not having read the synopsis, aha! I really enjoyed seeing the female MC fighting for women’s rights and being such a go-getter with her goals! The reason why I’m not giving this a very high rating was that the story was just okay? I expected a bit more but it honestly kind of felt like the kind of book you read during the summer beside the pool and promptly forget after the summer is done. But I WILL say that this book had some good spicy moments. There’s a particular moment where the male MC says something about sitting on a throne and...well...that was caliente. If you want a quick read with a strong female MC, then you’ll like this one. Don’t expect anything mind blowing, but know you’ll probably have fun while you read it!”

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35. Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“I actually enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would (but probably not enough to read the sequel, aha). In true Stephen King fashion, we got a really jaded MC and a REALLY messed up antagonist—to the point where you almost felt sorry for him because of all the abuse he experienced growing up, ALMOST. The language in this book is jarring, especially during Black History Month. That’s one of the things that’s always either made me widen my eyes at this author, or side eye him so hard that I’m sure he feels it. But the mystery was great and I enjoyed the MC’s determination to catch the bad guy. I’d recommend this book for fans of King, because you know what jarring language to expect. But if you’re new to this author, keep in mind that he writes like this to make you uncomfortable. It’s his thing.”

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Have you read any of these? Would you recommend them? 

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Happy reading!

#books #booklr #bookworm #bookahoilic #book blog #book blogger #Features #on books #on reading #read #reading #reader #review #book review #reviews #book reviews #reviews of the week #my writing #my opinion #reco #book recos

[blakelywintersfield]

what do you think about cancel culture?

So it took me a while to answer this ask ‘cause I have... a lot to say about the subject.

There’s a lot to unpack when it comes to cancel culture. Its roots I like to believe are well intended -- a means to alert vulnerable groups about individuals that have a history of hurting them. But people have taken it... way too far.

I think it’s important to hold people accountable for their actions. There’s a lot of people who get away with horrible things, simply because they produce likeable material (makeup, music, movies, entertainment, etc.). People like Jeffree Star, PewDiePie, and Kat Von D have gotten away with their horrific treatment of others for years because people enjoy their content -- and two out of three of them still are wildly successful. What pushes people over the limit? Often times it’s a matter of what white people take major issue in. In Kat’s case, being anti-vax. Is being anti-vax bad? Hell yeah it is. As someone who’s immuno-compromised it literally could lead to an early, painful, slow death for me. And don’t get me wrong, I wanna die, but not from something that takes months of suffering. But people blatantly ignored her other awful acts -- such as her antisemitic actions (telling her former boss to “burn in hell jewbag” (sic) in the form of writing on a photo she left for him and drawing a Nazi symbol on it), complacency in victim blaming (her neo-Nazi husband blames his daughter’s rape on his daughter), denying and viciously responding to criticisms about her pedophilic makeup names (”Underage Red”, “Lolita”, second not in reference to the Japanese style but the book), and actively killing her pets (she killed one cat by leaving a house full of burning candles -- cat knocked down the candles, house went up in flames, cat died; she also was found forcing a vegan diet onto her cats -- I’m unsure if this has continued but I believe one of her cats died from it). All of these are huge reasons to “cancel” her -- to boycott her products. But people didn’t actively hate her until she came out as anti-vax, something that effects the majority. And that’s part of the issue with cancel culture: people pick and choose what’s acceptable depending on how badly it effects them personally.

Let’s focus on the other two mentioned: Jeffree and Felix. Jeffree has a very, very, veryyyyy long past of being a racist piece of shit. Not even lowkey ignorant white person racist (i.e. ”I didn’t know making fun of AAE and viewing dreadlocks as trashy was racist”). I’m talking straight up using the n-slur, with the hard -er too, towards a black woman. And this was recent, too. There just haven’t been any physical references beforehand, only personal accounts. But people have defended him -- and still defend him -- on these actions, because he apologized. But then he’ll do it again a month later. And there’ll be definitive proof of it. He’ll keep doing it over, and over, and over again. And people will continue to excuse him because he keeps apologizing! That’s not how apologies work! As someone who’s been abused, apologies mean nothing if you don’t actively work on fixing what you’re apologizing for!! My abusers would apologize and then do the exact same thing again so many times that I lost count long ago! And of course, Shane Dawson hasn’t helped because he’s head over heels for the guy, so he’s been using his popularity to try and clear his name -- which is ironic, considering he’s been under fire for being racist in the past too. The only difference is he actually cleaned his act up, until now, of course. Because now, instead of creating racist content himself, he’s defending a chronically racist shitbag. And people continue to defend him, because his shitty actions effects mainly black women -- a minority in comparison to the amount of white people in the states. Jeffree continues to be wildly successful because his problematic behavior only effects a minority, and that’s... not okay.

Felix has a very similar history to Jeffree, but with antisemitism, and in my opinion he’s even worse because he’ll apologize then do something nice like donate to a charity. And that would be fantastic if he wouldn’t continue to do antisemitic things like actively support white supremacists. People continue to defend him because he does charitable things, but I constantly remind people that abusive people aren’t abusive 24/7 -- that’s literally how they get away with abuse. They abuse, then take you out for a fancy date, kiss you gently and tell you how beautiful you are. Then they do something abusive. It’s an endless cycle. And that’s honestly what Felix does. Apologize, do something really fucking nice, and then repeat his shitty action. And he has other extremely influential people defend him -- it’s why I had to stop following JackSepticEye and Markiplier. They continuously vouched for him. They continuously defended him. And they did it in the form of saying “he’s a really good person, I know him personally, he’s really fucking sweet and nice”. That’s what people say about the partner of someone really close to me! Their friends defend them all the time, but they’ve never seen how they treat my friend. They don’t know about how they are in a relationship. And that’s all we ever hear about abusers. No one wants to accept that their longtime friend is shitty. But Mark and Sean contribute to the toxic ideology of “defend your friends to the end”. And it disenfranchises those effected because 1) they’re not Jewish, they have absolutely no say in the matter, and 2) they’re abusing their popularity to keep their friend from being properly criticized. I don’t think either of them are shitty people, per se, but they’re being extremely toxic by not letting their friend see that they’re a repeat offender and need to either work on their shit or face the music. Mark and Sean both have the power to make Felix change if they just give him the ultimatum of “us or this”.

But I digress. The main issue highlighted here is that people who actually do bad things and continue to do bad things aren’t being held accountable because people don’t care to acknowledge what doesn’t directly effect them. This is the first main issue with cancel culture.

Let’s focus on another man under scrutiny: John Lennon. Now, let me put out there for disclaimer purposes that this man is far from perfect and has problematic parts to him as well. He’s done some shitty things. But cancel culture looooooooves to dig at this man. To put it crudely, they really enjoy beating this dead... man. And mainly over one really bad thing he did, which was hit his wife. However, people love to 1) over-exaggerate it, and 2) completely ignore how he handled the aftermath. Cancel culture often refers to him as a “wife beater”, as though this were a chronic habit or that he severely brutalized his wife. But they conveniently ignore that he apologized, both to her and publicly, taught himself about domestic abuse and spoke up for women’s rights, and even wrote multiple songs about how he fucked up and he shouldn’t be excuse for what he did. And, most importantly, his wife forgave him. The victim in this situation forgave him, and people still dig into this one thing and use it as their reason to hate him and his band to this day. Genuine criticism of him and what he’s done have gone to the wayside because of this one fact with no context, and it’s a huge phenomena because people, for whatever reason, love to hate popular things. Like I said, he’s done shitty things! He wasn’t perfect! But to use one issue that was literally resolved to hate him is just a lazy excuse to hate what’s popular, and that comes to our second issue with cancel culture: people want to hate what’s popular and will go to any lengths to excuse their hatred, even if issues that have been resolved.

The last main issue I have is that cancel culture is often set up in very black and white terms. Person does bad thing, they’re bad, end of discussion. But that’s... not how life works. Not at all. I know religion isn’t universal, especially Christianity, but there’s one point in Christianity that is universal: humans are flawed. No human being to have ever existed is perfect. And with the rise of technology and social media, a lot of mistakes have a permanent proof out there. Be it through tweets, tumblr or Facebook posts, Instagram or Snapchat stories, whatever it is, there is proof. And people like to take it way too far.

For example... well, I’ll use myself. There’s good things to not being tumblr famous, and I’m blessed with that, because I used to be a major shithead. Well. Okay, I still am, but I was bigoted, uninformed, and had a lot of internalized issues. For anyone that doesn’t know, I was raised in a conservative Christian household where my father was Southern Baptist and my mother had been raised Catholic (her personal religious views are much more lax though, thankfully). Both came from small towns in Illinois and Missouri respectively, and their parents, the same. I was aggressively homophobic and transphobic (ironic, eh?), covertly racist and sexist, and just overall a really shitty person. And while I didn’t join tumblr until after I’d finally started to grow, a lot of people on here are younger -- some even lying about their age and joining before they’re 13. And like me, many of these kids are in close-minded households. And for the longest time I refused to listen to other people because of the good ol’ backfire effect, but once I began to accept I was wrong, I learned. Of course I still have learning to do -- I always do. I always will. And that’s okay. But if I were 12 year old me on tumblr today, I would, well. I would’ve probably killed myself by now, because of all the bullying and hate for being a shithead child. A shithead, yes. But a child. Someone that’s going to be ignorant to a lot of things because they haven’t been alive for as long. And not everyone has informed parents that make it a point to teach them. Adults are a little harder to forgive, I’ll admit, but children have a lot more potential to learn and grow, and we often treat them just like adults.

The final issue with cancel culture is that it gives no room for improvement and no assumption of someone’s innocence. While it hurts to be on the victim end, we as a whole are obligated to correct the issue. I personally would like it to be those not effected doing that (i.e. someone making a transphobic comment having other cis people explain why it’s transphobic and isn’t okay), but regardless, we need to assume innocent until guilty with these kinds of things. It’s not easy, sure, but if I had been on tumblr while I was a shitty kid parroting my dad’s awful world views, cancel culture would’ve labeled me a piece of shit with no chance of redemption, and if I didn’t kill myself there’s no fucking way in hell I would’ve learned, because that kind of treatment would’ve stuck with me and made it harder for me to listen to the other side’s reasoning, even if they were right. We need to approach people in a manner of calm education, instead of ready to kill. In no way am I saying this is an easy thing to do, but unless they’ve refused to open themselves up in any way whatsoever, immediately chalking someone up as a lost cause is just... counter-productive. We have to acknowledge that people are flawed, and can learn and grow. We need to give people space to improve. It’s not all or nothing.

All in all, cancel culture has a good base, but its execution has become irrational and a means to justify hating those that really don’t deserve it, while turning a blind eye to those that actually are problematic. There’s a lot to be improved on.

#ask #long post #cancel culture #this is not an invite for discouse on anyone mentioned in this post #seriously i don't want to hear it #especially felix stans #Anonymous

[thefitty]

13 Reasons Why You’re Binging

You may or may not know, but I've had a strong, addictive relationship with food in the past that put me in a dark, dark place. Oh, it aches to see anyone go through what I've gone through.

In honor of the show, I've decided to list 13 Reasons Why You're Binging.

Which one of these resembles your case?

You’re low on dopamine. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter in the brain activating the reward system. It plays a huge role in your drive, motivation, and interest. Things that stimulate dopamine include food, novelty, and attractiveness. I found myself wanting to experience stimulation in a place where I felt emotionally grey and dead, so I turned to food for that sense of reward.

You’ve made it a habit. Somehow, one way or another, you’ve adopted this maladaptive behavior and your brain’s neurocircuitry is wired to take you to binging. Habits are easy, habits are automatic, and neurons that fire together, wire together. You’ve created a pattern that your brain is now comfortable with, and doesn’t want to change.

Lack of nutrients. Your body is craving specific nutrients and you’re trying to find them in food. For example, being low in magnesium could lead you to crave a chocolate bar.

You’re bored. Let’s be real: when we have nothing to do, we like to eat, watch tv, etc. This ties in closely with the lack of dopamine. When you’re bored, you’re seeking out stimulation, and food tends to be that stimulation.

You’re lonely. I’ve written in the past how I struggle with loneliness: even constantly asking myself, “what’s wrong with me?” when the truth is–nothing. It’s okay to feel lonely–ironically, you are not alone because we all feel lonely sometimes. Food turned to be a comrade in a time of need; but it also doesn’t fill the emotional void we are seeking for true human interaction.

You’re hurt. Ever feel angry enough at someone that you could just bite their head off? Research as proven that when we’re angry, we reach for crunchy foods. Chips, nuts, cheetos, anyone?

You’re a perfectionist that “screwed up” — ever went on a diet, ate something not in line with the diet, and then decided that you’re going to keep screwing up the rest of the day and restart tomorrow? That’s quite a loophole! There’s no need to compound the negative eating all within a day–after all, weight loss is a journey and it’s not about being perfect 100% of the time! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen victim to thisloophole. though! FORGET ABOUT THIS DIET PERFECTIONISM! Perfectionism will set you up for binges.

You’re surrounded by a toxic environment. Social circles, a pantry full of junk food, and grandmas that constantly feed you (I gotta hand it to her, she’s a lovely cook, though) are just setting you up for failure! I won’t even mention that MacDonald’s is on every corner. Oh wait–Oops I just did. Place yourself in an environment you will thrive in. Out of sight, out of mind. Break off connections with people who don’t support your recovery from binge eating.

You’re overly hungry! Ever go shopping when you’re starving? Bad idea, right? Not only do you end up with more things in your cart than necessary but also you can’t help but stop by the candy aisle for some “samples”….

You’re rushing/eating too fast. This is a huge one for me; especially when I binge, it’s all about the fast and furious. This is also an issue when I realize that I’m going to be late for class. I’ve learned that it’s best to either grab something non-messy and eat that, or eat earlier so that i’m not rushing out the door having barely chewed my food. I actually got a stomachache from eating so much and so fast that the next few hours it wasn’t digesting properly and I felt tired the rest of the day. It takes at least 20 minutes for your brain to register fullness, so I would advise eating your meals for that length of period and then decide if you want seconds. Most of the time, you don’t. Oh, and also? Sit. The. Eff. Down.

You’re scared of showing your body. Okay, this one just got real deep, yo. It might be that you fear showing your body from some childhood trauma, perhaps sexual, physical, or verbal abuse. And so you remedy yourself with food emotionally, but also physically because subconsciously, you don’t want others to find you attractive. Secretly somehow, self-sabotage keeps you safe.

Your family encourages it. I don’t know about you, but in Chinese culture, we show love by SHOWERING you with food. Zong zi, dim sum, deepfried-everythings and sticky rice are what they would offer, for example, and they’d encourage you to eat. I know a lot of times you feel pressured to participate and “accept” their love by eating what they give you, but ultimately that is not respecting you, your health, and your body. Can’t we all show love in other ways? For me, I would love to have you say the words, “I love you. I care about you.” than eat their present. I get it–in some cultures we hold a lot of pride and it’s scary to be vulnerable like that–but there are so many other way we can express love. This is a hard one to battle because often you don’t want to hurt their feelings and have them be offended. Then you would feel all defensive and guilty. I would plainly try saying to them,  “I would eat this later but right now I’d rather spend my full attention on you.”

No reason. Brace yourselves, because this one is about to get real spiritual. And simple. You can binge, and not know why. Why do we choose to put on our left shoes before the right? Why do we choose to wear black instead of grey today? Life can be arbitrary, and that is okay. Must we have to understand and have to justify everything that  happens? Sometimes, it’s best to let it be and not analyze.

Binge eating is one of the worst demons I’ve ever had to face, and i’ll be honest–I still face it even today. I am much stronger than before and I’ve stopped the binging from ruling my life because I’ve learned to have control over it, than have it control me. I specialize in diet coaching (yes, I’m certified! :D), freeing women and young girls from the diet crazies–wouldn’t that be nice for a change to not have to life in fear of food and social settings, and start thriving in life? No, you don’t have to become “fat”, or “give up your goals”, I believe you shouldn’t have to compromise anything you want in life just because certain situations hold you back. With a little help, you can have everything you desire–never feel that you must limit yourself.

If this post spoke to you, send me an email at [email protected] and we can connect and chat about ways I can support you.

Which of these reasons did you resonate with the most & how do you deal with it?

How do you deal with picky eaters in your life?

What did you think of 13 Reasons why?

What other TV shows have you been following?

#BED #binge #bingeeating #bingeeatingdisorder #compulsive overeating #binge eating #binge eating disorder #emotional eating #food addiction